#i didn't want to die when i originally set this date either
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leave-me-alone-please · 1 day ago
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It's been a good run I guess
In the sense that it could have been worse
I had good times
I had good people in my life
And if I were still able to feel anything but despair I'd feel thankful for that
But everything is burning and there is no way out
And sometimes it seems like no one wants to actually look for a way out either
The world is a cruel horrible place and nothing I do will change that
I am not enough, never will be
I am too much, always and for everyone
I'm sorry it has to be this way
I love you
I don't want to leave
But I just can't do this anymore
I see many ways and none of them lead anywhere
This has become so utterly meaningless
It's just pain for nothing
Again and again and again
I've been paying for years
I've been praying for things to get better
I've been praying for a cat to run me over
I've been praying to get cancer
I've been praying to wake up in a different reality
Is it the human condition I struggle with or am I struggling with the powerlessness that I have trapped myself in?
Do I struggle with seeing so much and just knowing that it all connects and that there is something really important we are all missing but being too stupid to figure it out?
Do I struggle with the unfairness inherent in this system the willingness of so many to uphold it?
Do I struggle with all those stupid social rules we have made up?
Do I struggle with my mind running faster than I can follow whenever I don't drug it?
Do I struggle with being trapped in a flesh prison?
Do I struggle with this deep feeling of just everything being so completely wrong?
Do I struggle with none of this being real and yet this world being the only reality I can have?
Do I struggle with existential boredom?
I don't struggle
I should complain less and do more
I'm not allowed to struggle with such silly things
And yet I know that my day will today has exactly three outcomes:
1. Something unexpected happens
2. I drug myself so bad I sleep through the next few days
3. I end up with a rope and a bottle of pills in my hand slowly walking to my demise and just seeing if I can be bothered enough to stop
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icarusignite · 1 year ago
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Hey! I don't know if this is the proper format (still kind of new here) but I'm sending in this prompt for an Alfred × Reader fic. There's this idea for him that was stuck in my head a couple months ago. So…
It's set either S2 or S3 but it fits better in S3 or the break between 2 and 3. Alfred is really ill which isn't unusual for him, but this time he's taking a lot longer for him to heal and he's deteriorating more seriously than he normally would.
People in court start looking around for new healers and remedies. Alfred is also kind of desperate because he doesn't want to die before England is complete or Edward is ready to take over.
Reader, who is a healer, comes to court with the intention of helping Alfred. She's neither Dane nor Saxon, if you're comfortable with it she could be of Asian or African origin/descent (eg Father Benedict in S5). She's either Muslim or Christian, either way she's well read and a bit of a scholar (if you've seen Vikings: Valhalla S2, there's a female character that might ring a bell). She's also able to reassure him, like Iseult, that she's treating him with nature's bounty and nothing sinister.
Because she's a scholar (also maybe a Christian), Alfred is comfortable that she's not practicing witchcraft so this helps him accept her more easily. It also helps them bond and they become really close friends over the course of the months she spends treating him. They have fun banter and he's able to feel like Alfred, the man around her instead of King Alfred. Then he realizes that he has feelings for her.
At this point it could go any way really. Does Aelswith factor into it much or not? Does reader reciprocate his feelings or not? If she does, would she be comfortable giving into them and being a mistress? Is Aelswith even in the picture or is this a slight AU? Do they have a sad, happy or bittersweet ending? Idk
For extra spice, Reader could also be good friends with Uhtred or Finan which makes Alfred a little jealous but also sad because he thinks that she'd probably prefer the charming, handsome, potentially single, strapping man to whatever measly affection he could offer her.
Ideally, it would be fluff or smut but whatever you're comfortable writing is fine! Sorry if this is too long but I wanted to be as clear as possible 😅. I also understand if this is too much for a oneshot and you forego the idea entirely
Alfred the great x POC! Fem! Reader
Word Count: 4.6k
A/N: Heyy, so sorry this took literally eons to finally write. Thank you for your lovely request and also thank u for your patience <3 Hope you enjoy what I've done with your idea, and dw this will have another part where I'll explore their chemistry more. I watched a bunch of Alfred edits to get in the mood and ngl I'm lowkey in love with him now lmfao. 
Disclaimer: there might be some (a lot) historical discrepancies because I didn't line up the dates exactly but I did find out that the Golden Age of Islam overlapped significantly with the dates that the last kingdom spans so the reader is a prominent scholar from Baghdad. Also, Aelswith is dead (I'm sorry T_T) cuz I don't love a cheating trope even when it is sort of historically accurate. So we have single dad Alfred lol. 
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The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you
Entering King Alfred's throne room, your senses were immediately awakened by the unfamiliar sights, sounds, and scents of Wessex. The room itself was a stark contrast to the opulent palaces and grand courts of Baghdad that you were accustomed to. The room was spacious, yet its decoration was surprisingly humble and simple, adorned with rough-hewn wooden beams and modest tapestries that depicted various scenes of English myths and prominent events. With a flash of triumph, you found that you recognized some of them from your studies of the English culture. A faint scent of burning wood from the hearth permeated the air with an earthy aroma.
You observed the nobles in attendance, or the ealdormen as they were called here, their attire markedly different from the splendid silks and jewels of Baghdad's court. Here, the people wore simpler garments made of sturdy wool and linen, in the dark colours of the earth as opposed to the the vibrant clothing the people of your home favoured.
Your gaze then turned to the throne itself. It was a robust wooden chair, its design austere yet imposing, lacking the grandeur of the magnificent thrones you had imagined English kings liked to occupy. King Alfred's regal figure atop the throne created a dignified presence. His clothing, matched the style of his ealdormen, long simple robes of a dull grey. The seat next to him was empty and you briefly wondered about his family. The chronicles you had read stated that a king's wife usually took her place beside him when he held court, but you did not know much of Alfred's wife.
Your fingers itched for your writing instruments, yearning to document all your observations and the happenings of the court. You seldom went anywhere without them, but now they remained tucked away in your satchel as you waited for the king to acknowledge your presence. You knew he had seen you enter, his eyes briefly meeting yours, even as he conversed with his ealdormen. Eventually, your thoughts began to wander and you couldn't help but reflect on the stark contrast between the scorching heat of Baghdad and the chilly bite of autumn in Wessex. your flowing linen tunic and trousers, so comfortable in the sweltering desert of your homeland, felt inadequate against the cold English air that seeped through the cracks in the stone walls.
You discreetly rubbed your tingling fingertips together, trying to generate some warmth, as the fire blazing at the hearth did little to banish the chill that had settled in your bones. Your longing for the warmth of the caliphate's sun was keenly felt in this unfamiliar and frigid environment.
Impatience welled up within you as you glanced around the chamber, noting the courtiers' stoic expressions and hushed conversations. The king's deliberations seemed to stretch on endlessly, and you found yourself yearning for the moment when you could finally present your credentials and seek the audience you had travelled so far to obtain.
King Alfred's voice finally called out your name, his voice echoing through the chamber.
"Esteemed lady, I welcome you to the court of Wessex."
The ealdormen, accustomed to the formalities of their court, were taken aback when you did not bow or curtsy as was expected. Instead, you offered a polite smile and tipped your head in a gesture of respect.
A murmur of surprise and disapproval rippled through the assembled courtiers. Some whispered that your behaviour was disrespectful, a breach of protocol. They exchanged curious glances, wondering how their king would react to this departure from tradition.
However, King Alfred took no offence. With a gracious nod, he signalled for you to speak.
"Thank you, your grace. It is an honour to be here."
Your accent was soft, lending your words a foreign intonation, and each syllable was carefully enunciated. You had spent months learning the language, and you weren't about to embarrass yourself now by messing up your pronunciation.
"I extend my deepest gratitude to you for undertaking such a long and arduous journey at my request. I hope the discomfort of the voyage did not prove too taxing."
"Your Majesty," you replied, "it was a journey of great honour for me, and I hope to make myself useful here."
King Alfred nodded appreciatively and then turned to a servant standing nearby.
"Please, ensure that the lady is provided with comfortable quarters and all the amenities she may require during your stay in Wessex."
The servant bowed in acknowledgment and stepped forward to escort you to your residence within the royal palace. You thanked the king once more for his hospitality and assistance before following the servant out of the chamber.
As you left the throne room, your observant nature couldn't help but take note of King Alfred's condition. Despite his attempt to appear at ease in his chair, you had perceived the subtle signs of discomfort. His favouring of his left side, indicating pain or injury to his right, and the unusually pallid complexion for an Englishman raised concerns in your scholarly mind. That was your purpose, after all, to try to diagnose and hopefully cure the ailing monarch.
Just when you were gone, the noblemen of King Alfred's court wasted no time in flocking around him, their curiosity piqued by the arrival of the enigmatic woman. They bombarded the king with questions and voiced their concerns about the unfamiliar customs you had displayed.
One nobleman, his voice dripping with skepticism, remarked, "Your Majesty, did you see that? She didn't bow or curtsy as she should have! It's as if she has no respect for you."
Another, eyeing your unusual attire and complexion, chimed in, "And her clothing, Your Grace! It's unlike anything I've ever seen in Wessex. She's clearly not from anywhere near England. What could she possibly want here?"
The murmurs of disapproval and suspicion spread among the courtiers, as they exchanged perplexed glances. To them, your arrival was an anomaly, and your behaviour had raised eyebrows and questions.
King Alfred, his countenance calm and measured, raised a hand to quell the growing unease.
"I understand your concerns, but there is nothing to worry about" he began, addressing their concerns. "The lady you have just met is a prominent figure from Baghdad. She has travelled from a distant land to be here and she is not here to defy our traditions or customs. She is a scholar seeking to further her studies in Wessex. Her journey to our land is a great honour, as it reflects the recognition of the importance of our own intellectual pursuits."
His tone left no room for further skepticism. He also did not mention the other reason you were there, as he did not wish to reveal the truth of his declining health. As the nobles filtered out of the room, somewhat still unsatisfied by his answer, Alfred couldn't help but remain still, his mind going over the recent developments. When he had first written to the Abbasid Caliphate to request that he be allowed to host a medical scholar at his court, he had to admit he was not expecting a woman, and certainly not one so beautiful.
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The next day, Alfred summoned you to his private chambers for a consultation regarding his health. As you entered the room, he couldn't help but notice the change in your attire. Gone was the flowing linen tunic and trousers, replaced by a sturdier, more practical woollen English dress. The deep blue gauzy veil, however, was still draped around your head and flowed down your back.
The English clothing seemed to complement you, accentuating your elegance in a way that was both unexpected and captivating. The king, not for the first time, found himself admiring you, though he kept such thoughts to himself, mindful of the formal context of your meeting.
You, ever the professional scholar, maintained a polite and formal distance as you began your examination of the king. You inquired about his symptoms, listening attentively to his description of the pain and discomfort he had been experiencing. Your deep knowledge and keen medical insight were evident as you asked probing questions and conducted a thorough assessment.
After a careful evaluation, you began to discuss your observations and your initial diagnosis with the king. You explained your thoughts on the potential causes of his discomfort and suggested a course of treatment. King Alfred was grateful for your expertise, and couldn't help but be struck by your intellect. He had a thirst for knowledge himself and he appreciated the quality in others when he saw it. In you he recognized a passion for learning and documentation, one he held himself as well. After the medical examination, he extended an invitation to you to remain in his chambers and share a cup of tea. Initially hesitant, you eventually agreed, recognizing the value of the opportunity to engage in conversation with the English monarch.
Seated in the warmth of the chamber, Alfred began to share with you the rich history of England, its struggles, its triumphs, and its cultural tapestry. He spoke of the challenges of the Anglo-Saxon period, the battles against the Danes, and the enduring spirit of the English people. As he narrated the history of his land, Alfred couldn't help but notice how your eyes lit up with a deep fascination, even though you attempted to contain your enthusiasm. Your questions flowed naturally as you probed deeper into the history and culture of Wessex. You asked about the Anglo-Saxon kings, the legends and folklore, and the development of the English language.
You kept diligent notes in your little notebook, your hand swiftly capturing every detail of the conversation. Your keen intellect and insatiable thirst for knowledge were evident, and your genuine interest in Alfred's words warmed his heart. It had been quite a while since anyone had paid such rapt attention to what he was saying, and he found himself rejuvenated by your exchange.
As a lull settled over your conversation, Alfred's curiosity got the better of him. With a twinkle in his eye, he leaned forward and said, "My lady, I must admit, I'm quite curious about the contents of that notebook of yours. What sort of information have you been documenting to take back to your homeland?"
You smiled, your demeanour more relaxed than when you had first come in, "Your Majesty, you need not worry. I promise you, I haven't written that the English are fire-breathing trolls."
Alfred felt a grin tug at his lips, but he suppressed the urge, keeping his hands folded placidly over his stomach.
"Well, you know, if we English could breathe fire, we might have an easier time dealing with our enemies!"
"There is a trick that performers back home use, to give the illusion of breathing fire. The science behind it is quite fascinating. Perhaps I shall explain it to you sometime."
"Ah yes my lady, you have filled your book with our tales, but have yet to share yours. Do you have any secrets from the East that you'd like to share with us humble English folk?"
You couldn't help but smirk at his words, "I'm afraid some secrets are best left in the lands where they belong, your grace. We wouldn't want you to start brewing Persian tea incorrectly, now would we?"
"I doubt it can compete with our tried and trusted English tea."
"You only think that way because you haven't tried Persian tea yet. Trust me, once you have, there's no going back."
"I suppose you make a fair point! Although, I must admit, the thought of trying to decipher the intricacies of Arabic calligraphy is rather tempting."
You paused, your light-hearted nature urging you to make another joke but you strictly reminded yourself that you were in the presence of a king. It would do you no good to offend him with an ill-timed statement. You were already apprehensive about your earlier comment about the Persian tea, although you were grateful that he chose not to see it as a slight. As if sensing your hesitation, Alfred sat up in bed and leaned forward.
"You are free to speak my lady, do not hold yourself back on my account," he reassured with a wave of his hand.
Still, you settled for a polite smile, "I was just going to remark on the difficulty of calligraphy but I am certain that if anyone would be able to master it, it'd be you, Your Majesty."
A small furrow appeared between Alfred's brows as if that wasn't the answer he expected from you. He could see you pulling away, going back to your polite, almost cold professionalism. Eventually, he nodded thoughtfully at you.
"I would be ever so grateful if you could perhaps show me the technique someday, my lady."
You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded with a small smile.
"Now, about that notebook, if you would allow me to take a look?"
"Ah yes, of course," you handed over the small leatherbound journal to him quickly without further complaints. "But I must warn you, my handwriting isn't at its most legible."
Alfred accepted the notebook with a nod of appreciation. As he leafed through its pages, his eyes quickly fell upon your meticulously written notes. Your thoughts were inscribed in your native language and although he did not understand the words, your elegant looping script impressed him.
He raised an eyebrow and turned toward you expectantly, pointing toward a specific passage, "And what does this say right here?"
"It is a description of the English weather, your grace."
Alfred leaned closer, his finger tracing the inked lines on the page.
"Ah yes, English weather. It was raining when you first arrived, wasn't it? What do you think of our English rain then, my lady? I've heard it has a certain charm."
"Well, I believe your rain can be quite persuasive. It insists that one should stay indoors and read a good book."
Alfred's lips twitched again, fighting back a smile. It seemed that the new scholar shared his interests as well.
"A wise perspective, indeed. Perhaps our English rain is simply encouraging a literary lifestyle."
"Yes, your grace."
"My lady" he continued, a note of genuine admiration in his voice, "I must tell you, your handwriting is truly exquisite. Tell me, just how many languages have you learned."
You felt a blush creep into your cheeks at his compliment. There was something sincere in his eyes as he waited for your answer, looking at you like your accomplishments were the greatest thing in the world. You opened your mouth to respond but then a loud knock sounded on the door and a priest entered.
"Yes, Father Beocca," Alfred seemed irritated at the interruption.
Father Beocca's eyes glanced from you to the king, and despite the fact that you were sitting in a chair quite some distance away from him, you felt a strange flash of awkward embarrassment run through you.
"My king, Uhtred is here to see you," the priest finally stated.
Alfred sighed and turned toward you with an apologetic smile, "Shall we continue our conversation another time then, my lady? It seems that I am needed elsewhere."
"Yes, of course, your grace."
You quickly took your leave then, choosing to take one of your books and go read in the garden. You had just settled yourself into a comfortable nook when loud boisterous laughter caught your attention. Turning your gaze towards the source of the commotion, you spotted three men, two of whom were dressed in the attire of warriors. Their boisterous behaviour was evident as they playfully teased and shoved the third man, who was clad in robes that resembled those of Father Beocca. However, a leather breastplate adorned his monk's attire, hinting at a surprising duality of roles – priest and fighter.
The two warriors were engaged in a lively exchange with the monk, their laughter echoing through the garden. You couldn't help but smile as you watched the scene unfold. Their camaraderie and jesting reminded you of the Caliph's sons back home, when your father would take you to visit the palace.
One of the warriors, a bearded man with broad shoulders and a hearty laugh, clapped the monk on the back.
"Come now, Osferth," he said between chuckles, "surely your devotion to the Lord could use a bit of levity now and then."
The monk, Osferth, grinned in response, "Aye Finan, it is said that laughter is the best medicine, is it not?"
The other warrior, a lean and quick-witted fellow, joined in with a jest, "Well, if that's the case, Osferth, then Finan here will live to be a hundred and you shall die tomorrow!"
Osferth elbowed the tall man in the ribs, "Not before I knock some sense into you Sihtric."
Their jovial banter and good-natured teasing continued, creating a lively atmosphere in the serene garden. You couldn't help but be amused by their antics and the familiarity of their interactions, watching them for quite some time.
The trio of men eventually noticed your presence, and with their laughter dying down, they made their way over to you. As they approached, their expressions revealed a mixture of curiosity and surprise.
The broad-shouldered warrior, Finan, whose eyes twinkled with mischief, was the first to speak. "Well, what have we here?" he said with a grin. "A traveller from foreign shores, I presume?"
"Yes, I am from Baghdad, my lord."
The warrior, clearly taken with you, couldn't resist a flirtatious remark.
"Lady, I must say, you are a wondrous addition to our English garden."
You snorted at his attempt at flirtation.
Meanwhile, the monk with the leather breastplate maintained a more respectful demeanour.
"Greetings, lady, I am Osferth," he said with a nod. "It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. May I ask what brings you to our humble Wessex?"
You found the monk's polite curiosity quite refreshing.
"Greetings to you too, Osferth. I've come to further my studies here. Wessex has much to offer in terms of knowledge and history, and I hope to make the most of it."
"Well, my lady, if ever you wish to explore our English shores, I'd be delighted to be your guide," it was Finan who spoke again and you could not help but laugh at his words.
"Thank you, kind sir. Your offer is most gracious."
“Call me Finan, my lady.”
Your change continued as they asked more about you and your hometown and you asked about theirs. You found out that they were a band of warriors who followed some fellow named Uhtred, the very same Uhtred who was currently speaking to King Alfred. As the conversation flowed, you discovered that you enjoyed speaking with these men. Their witty banter and friendly demeanour made you feel at ease, despite the foreignness of your surroundings. You shared stories of your travels, your scholarly pursuits, and the cultural nuances of your homeland. The men, in turn, regaled you with tales of their own adventures.
As you continued to engage in playful banter with the warriors, you remained oblivious to the presence of King Alfred and Uhtred, who had ventured outside and were observing the lively exchange.
Eventually, with a confident stride, Uhtred made his way toward your group to make his introduction and Father Beocca approached the king with his concerns.
"Your Majesty," he began cautiously, "I must admit, I have reservations about entrusting your treatment to a foreigner, especially one from so distant a land. We must be cautious of witchcraft and unfamiliar practices."
King Alfred turned to Father Beocca, his expression thoughtful but resolute, "Father Beocca, I understand your concerns, but the lady is no ordinary foreigner. She hails from Baghdad, a city known for its innovative medical advancements and a center of learning in the Islamic world. She comes as one of their finest scholars, sent by the Caliph himself."
"I see, your grace."
"I have read extensively about the great Islamic civilization, and its contributions to science, medicine, and philosophy. I believe we have much to learn from her, not only about medicine but also about fostering understanding and collaboration between our cultures. They have succeeded in uniting several lands under one caliphate, so perhaps we might learn how we may unite England as well."
Father Beocca, though still cautious, nodded in understanding, "Your Majesty, I trust your judgment. It is my fervent hope that the lady's presence here will indeed lead to beneficial knowledge and that she will uphold the values of wisdom and compassion."
"Thank you, Father Beocca. Let us have faith in this unique opportunity for cultural exchange and enlightenment. Her presence is a bridge between worlds, and I believe it is a path toward a brighter future for Wessex."
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Over the course of the next few months, you became familiar with the routines of the Wessex palace. King Alfred allowed you to shadow him throughout his day, believing that you could provide valuable insights into his own activities. It was a decision that would lead to a profound connection between the two of you.
Every day, you diligently prepared poultices and medications for the king’s ailments, and often you’d recite the recipe to him and explain the purpose of each herb and plant that went into it. He found that he trusted you completely but he was still comforted by your transparency and the efforts you took to explain things to him. Sometimes he would insist on accompanying you on walks and you would point out the various native English plants and their counterparts back home. You also documented the king's activities and observations in your notebook. At times, he would request to see your notebook, often just to admire the beauty of your script. He marvelled at the graceful lines of your writing, and the intricate calligraphy that adorned the pages.
Your interactions went beyond the formalities of your initial meeting. King Alfred, always eager to learn, would occasionally ask you to translate certain passages from your native language and over time, your bond grew stronger. King Alfred began to look forward to each day, eager to see your bright and colourful veil, a striking contrast to your plain English gowns. He would wonder which hue you would choose, and it became a delightful anticipation in his daily routine.
Your conversations transcended the realm of duty and scholarly pursuits. The two of you shared your favourite books, discussing the nuances of various works and debating the merits of different translations. Your insights challenged Alfred's own understanding, and he cherished these moments of intellectual stimulation.
As the days turned into weeks and then months, Alfred realized that you had become an important fixture in his life. your presence was a source of inspiration, a reminder of the power of knowledge, and a testament to the potential for understanding and collaboration between different cultures.
He found himself thinking of you when he was apart from you, reminiscing about how your eyes would dance with mirth as you argued with him about the inaccuracies of translated works, or how your laughter would fill the palace corridors. You had not only enriched his pursuit of knowledge but had also touched his heart, becoming a cherished friend and confidante in the process.
Alfred could still vividly recall the way you had looked at him with genuine wonder and appreciation when he had shown you his humble library. He knew that compared to the great libraries of Alexandria and Baghdad, his collection was modest, but you had delighted in it all the same. Your eyes, filled with curiosity and admiration, had swept over the numerous scrolls and manuscripts, taking in the wealth of knowledge contained within those walls.
In that moment, as you softly murmured your thanks, Alfred felt his breath catch. He was struck not only by the beauty of your physical presence but also by the grace with which you carried yourself and the genuine enthusiasm you displayed for learning. Your voice had a melodic quality that lingered in his memory. It was a voice that seemed to breathe life into the ancient texts that surrounded you and the king found himself quite enamoured with you. The two of you spent many a late night pouring over scrolls together, and although he always kept a respectful distance, Alfred found himself wanting to brush away the stray strands of hair that fell across your forehead, having escaped the tightly bound coil you usually kept your hair in.
Tonight was one such night as the dim light of the candle burned low, and after a lively discussion on herbal medicine, you had fallen asleep on one of the ancient manuscripts. Alfred, his mind still buzzing with the echoes of your conversation, fought against the pull of sleep. Instead, he watched you slumber, his heart filled with a mixture of admiration and tenderness.
In the soft candlelight of the library, you appeared even more enchanting. Your thick eyelashes brushed against your cheeks as you slept peacefully, your features serene. Your form rose and fell with each gentle breath, a rhythmic reminder of the tranquil cadence of sleep. Alfred couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty in this unburdened state. The play of shadows and light highlighted the delicate contours of your face, and the soft glow of the manuscripts around you lent an almost ethereal quality to the scene. You looked like a vision from a dream.
As he watched your slumber, a sudden, unexpected urge welled up within him. He was struck by the temptation to lean in and kiss you, but he quickly banished the traitorous thought. What an absurd thing for a king to do, to force his affections on a guest in his home. Especially when he had no way of knowing if you returned his feelings. He would have to content himself with the simple act of watching you sleep, his heart filled with a deep and unspoken longing.
He also found himself wondering if you were betrothed, for you couldn’t possibly be married and still be here. What man would not accompany you or let you out of his sight if you were his wife? Although you had discussed many things, you did not stray close to personal topics such as family. You were only a few years younger than him and surely you had to have someone in your life. And even if you didn’t, what could you possibly want with an ailing man like him when a woman as accomplished as you could have anyone in the world?
Such melancholy things plagued him as he eventually drifted asleep on the table across from you, his final thoughts fixating on what it might feel like to have your lips against his. 
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kaelsleftverdantsphere · 2 years ago
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KAELLIDAN FOR THE ASK MEME THINGY
Who is the better driver?
100% Illidan, Kael is a forever passenger because he drives over the speed limit and no one will ever let him drive himself because of that
Who has better music taste?
Their music taste is very different but also varies in the tone. Kael's is more agressive and upbeat- pop, rock and rap you would listen to while at the gym- while Illidan's is more angsty and deep, from blues and jazz to heavy metal and punk. So it really depends on your preference
Who wakes up earlier?
Illidan goes to sleep later and gets up earlier, just works like that.
Favorite personality trait of the other?
Kael adores Illidan's soft side, how open, and often blunt he is with people he trusts, his honesty.
Illidan loves Kael's sense of justice, his rants, how talkative he is.
Favorite physical trait of the other?
Illidan loves Kael's hair, how soft and shiny it is. He loves to brush and braid it for him before bed.
Kael is really into Illidan's arms and hands, the contrast to his own soft and gentle ones.
Do they prefer daytime dates or nighttime dates?
Illidan definitelly prefers dinners and evening walks and Kael is happy with either so they usually opt for night time.
What are their favorite cuddling positions?
No matter what they want you to believe, Illidan adores being the little spoon.
Who is always cold and who is the human furnace?
This one is pretty obvious. Illidan is sensitive to cold from his time in captivity, when he spent years laying on the cold stone floor. And Kael emits heat even when not using his abilities.
What's something they've argued about?
They often argue about how much they mean to one another. They both have a hard time trusting people and it's easy for them to go from "I love you" to "Okay but would you love me if I was a worm??? NO???!!! OKAY FUCK YOU THEN"
Who is the first to apologize after an argument?
Illidan, although both of them are very stubborn. But Kael would rather die than say sorry first.
What were their first impressions like?
Kael didn't immediatelly like Illidan, his first thoughts were set on saving his people and Illidan was originally just a tool to achieve that.
Illidan originally hated the posibility of helping a proud prince, and didn't really plan on delivering on his promises before he caught feelings.
Do they have nicknames for each other? If yes, what are they?
Numerous, Illidan's nicknames for Kael are lovely and truly meaningful -my sun, sunbird, angel eyes, my fire- with lovingly said royal titles making the list as well.
Kael's on the other hand are way more childish and Illidan originally hated them. -Illy, emerald tits, raven man- coupled with calling him "old man" on special occasions.
Do they prefer hugs or kisses after a difficult day?
Hugs and cuddles, definitelly
What was their favorite date they've done together?
Their first oficial date was in Zangarmarsh, on top of one of the mushrooms, having a small little picnic. -because I fucking said so
How do they feel about kids? Would/do they have them?
Both of them fear being bad parents but if TBC canon didnt happen? They would absolutely eventually come around to having kids
What secret does only the other person know about?
They know of all their deepest insecurities and fears.
Kael is the only one who knows about Illidan's arachnophobia.
Illidan and Rommath are the only people to know how much Kael hates his own face, how dysphoric the thought of the similarities between him and his mother make him.
Who is more outspoken and who is more reserved?
Kael is the one to yell "HE SAID NO PICKLES" on Illidan's behalf.
How do they feel about marriage? Would they get married/are they? Who would/did propose?
Kael dreams of a rich royal wedding and Illidan would love to deepen their bond. They would absolutely get married if their circumstances were different.
Illidan would be the one planning to propose but Kael would find out and propose first.
Do they know about each others' past relationships? How do they feel about it?
Kael doesn't like or trust Tyrande even if he knows she isn't interested in Illidan.
Illidan is fine with Kael's bond with Rommath, even if he doesn't particularly like the man.
Favorite memory of the other?
Kael'thas treasures one memory the most while in Ravendreth. Before the fight with Arthas, they exchanged their vows to never leave one another. It is bitter sweet but he loves to think of what could've been if only he kept the promise.
Illidan's favourite memory is the first time seeing Kael on the battlefield. The young prince, filled with energy, force and dedication.
How would they describe the other to someone?
Kael in Ravendreth: "Oh well, he is this half elf half demon man that fell in love with me as soon as he first saw me... and i said nooooo i cant be with you but he was so into meeee-"
Illidan during Legion: "He was... Special to me-... But that was a long time ago."
What thing do they find most annoying that the other does?
Illidan gets annoyed by Kael being posh and stuffy, thinking highly of himself, being afraid of dirt and so on.
Kael gets annoyed by Illidan being silent. Not iniciating conversation.
What hobby do they enjoy doing together?
Cross-stitching. Just trust me on this one
What hobby does one have that the other hates?
Illidan HATES Kael's interest in high quality wine, wine tastings and so on. He doesn't understand what makes the grape juice so interesting to the blood elf.
Who gets the other out of trouble? Who gets them both into trouble?
Kael is the one getting them in AND out of most trouble.
Who is the dishes person and who is the laundry person?
Kael would DIE if he touched the texture of food on a plate so therefore Illidan is the dishes person.
Who cooks the most?
Illidan has to, Kael would burn cereal.
What's their favorite meal that the other makes?
Conjured mana cookies are the only thing Kael really makes for Illidan, and Illy would swear that Kael's taste absolutely different from anyone elses.
Illidan's fish dishes were the first time Kael has tasted any sort of sea food, he was forbidden from having it as a royal. He still craves that smoked salmon with spice bread or roasted clams with herb butter, even in undeath.
Who is better with money?
Illidan. Kael, in any universe, is a trust fund baby that always spent money on useless shit.
Who would last longer in a zombie apocalypse?
Probably Illidan, he is way more practical than Kael.
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truly-morgan · 1 year ago
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[Kinktober 2021: Oviposition (18+)]
HuaLian | Heaven Official’s Blessing Fantasy AU 09-10-2021
Day 9: H̷u̷m̷i̷l̷i̷a̷t̷i̷o̷n̷ / I̷n̷t̷e̷r̷c̷r̷u̷r̷a̷l̷ ̷S̷e̷x̷ / [Oviposition]
Xie Lian wants to help his husband in his heat. Hua Cheng also forgot to tell him an important mermaid fact about mating.
====
It was the first time since Xie Lian started dating his new lover that he finally had the guts to suggest help in his heat. He could see how the merman would clearly be uncomfortable from not doing anything about it and h thought it could be good to help.
It had happened on their vacation to a beach house Hua Cheng owns. Xl simply didn't like to see him restrain himself only because he thought xl might not want to help with that.
“Everything about san Lang I like, so of course he would like to help the same way you help me when I need it" he smiled while gently grabbing his hand.
So, they set for the private beach, where the water is shallow enough for hc to move around with his original tail. Xl would lie if he said he was not curious about how sex would be in hc original form.
It's a strange feeling than to be naked and nearly straddling hc tail. Of course, he had touched it before since hc was more than happy to let him do so, but it felt rather different now that he was fully naked.
The little movement made by hc to stay where they were rubbing against him, made him blush as smooth scales slide on his skin.
“Does gege like the feeling of my tail against him?~” teased hc, chuckling at how redder xl became as something else came to his head, kissing him when he didn’t receive any answers, hands already going to his bottom to tease him with his finger, a first one entering pretty easily has xl had already done some prepping. “You were eager to help me,” he said.
“Yes, I want to help san lang feel better” he replied while a soft moan when hc went to tease his prostate. As much as he enjoy letting hc tease him, even though he was starting to want to go more quickly, somewhat excited about something he never tried before with hc. All they did was always in his human form. 
But soon he could feel the strange tip against him, looking at it curiously. “is gege surprised by what it looks like?”
hc asked, breath hitching when he felt fingers take careful hold of his cock. Xl was surprised by the smoothness, large at the base before slowly getting slimmer at the tip. It sure would fit in more easily.
“Gege" hc ended up saying, feeling his restraint slowly die down the more xl was playing with him like this. This made xl snap out of his observation, finally placing himself more correctly above, his lover, legs wrapped around his hips so he could be supported better by hc.
It was a bit weird and awkward at first since they didn’t necessarily do it the same way they normally would in bed, but xl was also not a merman who could stay underwater where it was probably more convenient.
But after a while they found a better position and rhythm, the merman slowly losing himself with how great it felt. 
This was the first mating season hc didn’t mind the arrival of, now that he had xl with him to help him out, rather than be stuck in heat all alone. Although in the excitement and pleasure, he forgot a rather important part of how his body functioned. 
Xl came nearly at the same time as hc, falling back into hc arms when he relaxed back a bit, ready to wait a bit before going back if hc needed it.
But then something happened. 
It felt as if something bigger wanted to pass his entrance, making him a bit nervous, yet when he tried moving, he felt hands on his hips keeping him in place.
Soon, he felt that lump go up hc dick, brushing past his prostate and then resting farther into him.  
The round objects were not painful either, seemingly not fully hard, but he was really confused and a bit nervous, unsure what was suddenly being unloaded into him, all he could do was squirm in hc holds as the pressure on his prostate was making him hard again soon. 
6 had been pushed into him.
“San Lang” he whined when he felt the dick retract from him, apologetic kisses soon peppering his face. “I am so sorry, did I forget to tell gege about mermaid reproduction? We lay eggs”. Xl could only shake his head, before pulling back a bit to look down at himself, a hand coming to his stomach with a slight frown. 
“Gege doesn’t need to worry,” hc said, kissing his temple, “I do not think your body is viable for them, we can easily get them out of you”.
“oh...” xl replies, unsure why he had this small feeling of disappointment. About the news. Did he really think that he would like to...
Hc seemed to catch on it, smiling softly to him, “I am sure we can figure out a way for me to carry them if gege wants to have children with san lang” he suggested, hand joining xl’s one on his belly, trying to see if he could feel the eggs.
“Does... does this happen every time you come as a mermaid?” xl asks, feeling his cheeks flush a little bit at the fact that he wanted to try that again, it was not unpleasant (nothing hc did was).
The merman seemed amused at his question, fingers going back to teasing him. “We usually have eggs in our mating season” he points out, “But sometimes we make some random one throughout the rest of the years”.
“If gege wants more, he simply has to tell me~~” he whispered against his ears, gently nibbling at his neck as his cock was back at xl entrance, ready for more if he wanted to. 
And wanting more xl did, not hesitating to take the length into him even with eggs still in him.
It seemed like even if xl couldn’t carry his eggs, hc would pump as much as he wanted into him. The look of his lover with faint bumps on his belly was a pleasant one.
Original - AO3
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coffeestainedcamera · 1 year ago
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Anyways, time to obsessively theory-craft while waiting on ep 3! Heavy spoilers, obv!
Okay, so I'm not sure Lu Guang is in the clear yet. We had that poster where only Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling are wearing black formal clothes, but he isn't. Almost like they might be attending his funeral? Not too sure if this was part of the misdirection about his death before the air date, though. But then again, the crew sure loves emotionally devastating us viewers, so they might very well kill him off and have a season about Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling trying to save him. Our girl is in the know about the photo time travel and the superpowered killer now, so it'd not be surprising for her to be a co-lead. And we did have that ending sequence where she's the mission control, even though Lu Guang normally serves in that role.
I'm still not entirely sure that the killer will be responsible for offing him, though. They're in this for fun, so I think that they'd love to keep toying with the most powerful opponents they've gone up against yet. I do suspect they'll try to steal Lu Guang's powers, if they weren't bluffing about the matter in the season 1 finale. From there, I think that fate will be the other main villain, as he previously told Cheng Xiaoshi that death is an unchangeable node. So maybe if the killer doesn't want to end him, the universe will keep setting up bad ends to prevent a time paradox. Maybe it's punishment for potentially trying to save Cheng Xiaoshi from death in the other timeline. Not too sure how many times he lost him before the current timeline, but it'd explain the aggressive protectiveness. And maybe this talk of him being too mature for his age is a hint that he's been time traveling a while now.
Additional items of interest about the killer:
They say their powers are photo-related too, and we do see the Officer die after that lawyer steals a photo of him. Not lying about possession, then.
Most likely pushed him off the roof, and the manner of death overall reminds me of Emma. It's a clear taunt to the leads.
The last person who held the photo was the creepy kid, although it'd be a little too unsubtle. Maybe the crew is misdirecting us again?
The killer's manner of speaking in the russian subs for the post-stabbing confrontation is very informal. The vocab used is more likely to be used in a conversation between friends than acquaintances. They use ты/informal you with Cheng Xiaoshi upon an early meeting, which can be considered impolite/overfamiliar. It fits with their "do you wanna be friends with me, and only me?" schtick.
This stalker-ish moment is why I'm not completely discounting the possibility that they may off Lu Guang. He's an obstacle to Cheng Xiaoshi's attention, but offing him would make him mad. For preserving this "friendship", they might not do it.
It's very interesting that the russian subs for the main confrontation scene avoided gendered conjugations of words (and s1 has not back-added them, so I don't really have a comparison point). Can't comment on how faithful this is to the original voiceovers, but this ambiguity is very interesting indeed. Definitely preserves the feeling of basically anyone being a suspect for now.
Anyways, there's still a ton of missing puzzle pieces so uh. That's about it. Oh, and quick explainer of my understanding of the misdirection around Lu Guang's "death":
Two guys in critical condition at around the same time
Both go into the operating room
We begin cutting between these concurrent events, like when we had that scene of luring the killer to the photo studio
We never see their faces, and both are in bad enough condition that either could flatline
The killer didn't go at Lu Guang's throat at any point, so he shouldn't have the neck injuries
The man getting defibbed has neck injuries, therefore it's someone else
But of course, I was too shocked in the moment to think of any of this lol.
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steamystories · 6 days ago
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Solstice Changes: Part 2
Alone with my blind date on a moon-flooded hillside.
Based on the works of evans lily, in 4 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Connected.
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"It's still not quite dark," I said, looking up at the ink-washed sky and noticing that only the brightest stars were visible.
"It's the longest day of the year tomorrow."
Of course. The summer solstice. "Does that mean that tonight is the shortest night then?"
Adam sent me a sideways glance. "It certainly feels like it."
I knew what he meant. The last two hours had flown by. "Well, it must be tonight or tomorrow night, I s'pose," I murmured, experiencing another inward glow of pleasure.
"The nights are all short at the moment. The bedroom in my new flat faces due east, which means the sun wakes me up pretty much every morning. Right now that's around quarter to five." There was a pause. "I really must buy some curtains."
I laughed softly. "Well, the sun never shines into my room. All I've got is a wonderful view of my neighbor’s potting shed." I smiled as he tutted in sympathy. "If I wanted to watch the sunrise I'd have to set my alarm and go outside."
"Or stay up all night."
"Hmm. One of these days I'll have to try that."
"You've never done it?" Adam seemed shocked. "Seriously?"
I shook my head. "It's on my list of things to do before I die." The moment I said it I wanted to bite off my tongue and throw it to the ducks. What the hell was I thinking? Now I really was being insensitive;
He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "What else is on that list?"
"Oh, lots of things. The usual sort of stuff."
"Like?"
Cornered, I searched my brain for possibilities. "Travel the world. Learn a foreign language."
"Do a bungee jump?"
I laughed. "No, I don't think so. And I wouldn't like to jump out of a plane with a parachute either."
"Oh, you should. I have."
"Really?" I glanced up at him with renewed respect. "What was that like?"
"The worst bit was jumping out of the plane. God, I was so scared. But after that, well; amazing. You don't even feel like you're falling; you don't get that stomach-dropping, going-down-a-rollercoaster feeling. It's more like floating on a bubble of air. Fabulous experience. And once it was over I just wanted to go back up and do it all again."
"Wow." I shook my head. "Still don't think I could do it though. I hate heights; God, I can't even do rollercoasters. So to jump out of a plane; "
He chuckled softly. "Too far out of your comfort zone, huh?"
"What made you do it? Was it something you'd always wanted to do?"
"It was on my list of things to do before I die. And when Claire died; well, it made me realize that you just don't know how long you've got. So when a group of guys I was working with said they were jumping for charity, I volunteered to have a go. Raised more than a thousand pounds for the air ambulance."
"Fantastic." I swallowed hard, humbled. I'd never done anything particularly altruistic. In fact, come to think of it, it didn't feel as though I'd done anything worthwhile with my life. "I s'pose you've done everything on your list then?"
"Not at all. You see, new things keep getting added all the time."
"Like?"
"Well; "
We'd slowed to a halt, having reached the second bridge already. Crossing it would mean going back along the other side of the river towards the bright lights of the city. Alternatively, we could carry on, pass through the sturdy wooden gate and take the path across the water meadows towards St Catherine's Hill. During the day, this was a popular route for walkers, locals and tourists alike, but now it was deserted, the pathway disappearing into darkness.
"I've never had a one night stand. Shall we?"
I let out a gasp. "What?"
He solemnly indicated the gate. "Walk a bit further?"
"Oh." My voice was small. "Yes."
Laughing; I had a feeling he'd chosen his words deliberately; he let go of my hand and ushered me forward into the gateway. It was one of those V shape constructions originally designed to give easy passage to people but not animals. The gate itself was attached to a fence post opposite the center of the V, hinged like a tongue so that it could flap against the two sides and only allow one person to pass through at a time. But instead of following me, the moment I'd passed through Adam grabbed the top rail of the gate and pushed it flush against the fence on my side.
"Hey!" Trapped, I took a swift glance at the darkened path ahead of me before turning back to peer at him over the barrier. "Aren't; aren't you coming with me?"
"Well that rather depends." He leaned on the rail and regarded me quizzically. "You see, this is a kissing gate."
Uh oh. I could see where this was going. "So if I want you to come with me; ?" As he inclined his head, my mouth went dry and my heart began to pound. "I see."
"It's your choice. And if you'd rather not, that's fine. We'll just head back to the high street and get you a taxi home; I promise to be the perfect gentleman. But I think you should know; ” He smiled, suddenly appearing rather nervous. "The idea of kissing you seems to have shot to number one on my latest list of things to do before I die."
Right now, the idea of kissing him seemed to be at the top of my own list;  "I see," I said again, rather helplessly. "Well. Okay."
His eyes widened. "Okay?"
I watched his smile broaden to a relieved grin as he reached for me, grasping my hands. Then everything seemed to happen in slow motion.
Putting my arms around his neck, his own arms swept around my back, tugging me as close as the gate would permit. And when his warm, soft lips finally landed on mine, I wanted to cry out with the wonder of it. I clung to him, dizzy with desire, allowing the pressure of his tongue to open my mouth, my eyes crashing closed as I willingly yielded to his possession. It had been a long time since I'd been kissed; and no one had ever kissed me like this;
"Wow," he murmured, raising his head at last. Though he was smiling, he looked somewhat shaken. "I guess I'll have to come with you then."
I giggled, rather shaken myself. "I guess you will."
Releasing me, Adam opened the gate and came through, his hand once again finding mine as we started along the track. "You sure about this?"
My eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the darkness so I couldn't see his expression but the concern in his voice was obvious. "About going for a walk? Sure." I kept my own tone light, but the butterflies in my stomach flapped in anticipation.
What else had I consented to with that kiss?
A moon-flooded hillside.
If someone had asked me, just a few hours ago, whether I'd agree to take a late-night walk with a man I'd only just met;
Stranger danger. At the nursery school where I worked we were always telling the children about that. Never go off with a stranger, never take things from a stranger;
"Not past your bedtime yet then?" Adam teased, his hand warm in mine as we strolled along the path towards St Catherine's Hill.
I smiled. "Well, it is, actually. But I'm only working until lunchtime tomorrow, so I'll risk it."
"Got any plans for the weekend?"
"Nope. Just the usual. I'm meeting my friend Lisa for lunch tomorrow; ” oh, and wasn't she going to enjoy hearing about this? "; but then it'll just be cleaning, washing and shopping. I s'pose I might go to the pub with Lisa and her boyfriend on Sunday evening, but that's about it."
"No hot dates?"
"God, no." I looked up at him even though I still couldn't quite see his face, and realized with a jolt that I hadn't actually told him that much about myself after all. "No." I gave a short laugh. "I think it's time I got a cat."
"What?"
"You know. Single women of a certain age, living on their own; have cats."
"Oh, I see." He sounded rather puzzled. "Why in the world would someone like you need to get a cat?"
"Well, I quite like cats," I said, trying to ignore the prickle of awareness zinging down my spine. "They're soft and warm and cuddly; ”
"That's not what I meant."
I knew it wasn't. "I don't know," I admitted at last. "Like you, I was in a relationship for a long time. It's hard to start again."
He nodded. "Divorced?"
"No." I smiled, remembering how impressed he'd been that I hadn't immediately asked him that question. "Didn't make it as far as the altar, though everyone thought that's where we were headed."
"How long were you together?"
"Too long." I sighed heavily. "Started dating him when I was still at school, did the whole rebel thing. You know. Stayed out late and pissed off our parents, got drunk, drove too fast in his Dad's car; lost our virginity to each other in the back of that car; ”
"Romantic," Adam interjected.
"Nope, bloody painful, actually. There's not as much room as you might think on the back seat of a Ford Mondeo," I rolled my eyes when he smirked, unable to believe what I'd just told him. "Anyway, James got a job making wardrobes, we started renting a flat together and settled down into cozy coupledom."
"Until?"
I looked up at him and grinned. "Nah, sorry. I shouldn't be telling you any of this. Not on a first date, anyway." When he groaned, I bumped the side of my head into his shoulder, laughing. "Well! You wouldn't tell me about Claire."
"I know, I know." He spun me around and pulled me in front of him, peering intently into my upturned face. "But this doesn't feel like a first date, does it?"
I gazed at him for a moment, longing to be able to read his thoughts. "No, it doesn't," I agreed softly.
"Good." To my astonishment, he seized my hand again and marched on again, pulling me along with him.
"Hey!" I'd been so sure he was about to kiss me again I felt absurdly disappointed. "Does that mean you'll tell me about her?"
"When you've told me about James. What happened?"
As we emerged from the cover of some trees I became aware that our surroundings were no longer quite so dim, the grassy hillside before us clearly visible, picked out in numerous shades of monochrome. Turning my head, I found the light source; the moon, a huge, near-perfect orb, rising to our left.
"We grew out of each other, I suppose," I said eventually, my lips twisting slightly as I remembered how it ended. "Well, to be honest, I grew out of him. I think James would've been happy to have trundled on as we were until it was time to stick him in a coffin. He wasn't really interested in getting married, didn't seem bothered about having kids. Just wanted to go out every weekend, spend all our money in pubs and clubs and have a good time."
"You dumped him."
I wasn't surprised to hear the note of disbelief in Adam's voice. I still found it hard to believe I'd done it myself. "Yes. But he didn't take it too well."
That was the understatement of the decade;
Having decided it would be easier for me to leave, rather than attempt to persuade him to move out of our flat, I'd stayed with Lisa for a while. To start with there'd been countless phone calls, where he'd begged me, in various stages of drunkenness, to come back. Then there'd been the flowers. Enormous bouquets of roses, lilies and carnations. Next came letters and then poems; which always rhymed, usually in a facile 'Roses are red, violets are blue' kind of way.
"And then he started stalking me," I said, my attempt to sound matter of fact rather spoiled by being out of breath. We'd been climbing the hill for a while now and it was becoming apparent how unfit I was. "Waiting for me outside the nursery school, outside Lisa's house; everywhere he knew I'd be. Even Lisa couldn't make him stop; and believe me, she's usually good at stuff like that; so in the end I had to take out a Court injunction."
"Well, you broke his heart."
"Right." I gave a snort of derision. I hadn't expected Adam to take James' side. "Okay, thanks for that."
"He didn't stay in the flat, did he? He moved back home."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "How did you know that?"
"It's obvious. He was never going to wash his own underwear." He shook his head gravely. "You weren't his girlfriend, you were his Mum."
"What? No!" I punched his arm, appalled that he'd said it and even more appalled by the thought he might be right. "It wasn't like that."
"Really?" He grinned. "Okay. Who cooked all the meals?"
"He burnt everything; ” I hesitated in surprise as we strayed from the path, Adam tugging me on to the grass. "Short cut," he said simply, glancing down at me as he led the way across the moonlit meadow, now taking a brisk diagonal route towards the summit. "There's a much better view if you go this way. So who cleaned the flat?"
"Well; ” I stopped to slip off my sandals then ran to catch up with him, the cool grass feeling wonderful beneath my hot, aching feet. "I did. But only because he got eczema on his hands sometimes. And he hated wearing rubber gloves. He said they made him; ”
"Who did all the shopping?"
"Look, if I sent him, he'd pack the trolley with chocolate biscuits and family packs of crisps and forget to buy milk. It was easier just; ”
"To do it yourself," Adam finished. He flashed me another smile. "Hmm. I think, as Claire used to say, the case for the prosecution rests."
I had no defense.
"Oh no," I muttered, shocked to the core. "I really was his mother."
"No, he was just a lousy boyfriend." His tone softened abruptly. "Sweetheart, you deserved so much better."
The endearment caught me by surprise. Unsure how to react, I stopped and turned around, only for my breath to catch in my throat.
The city was a distant sprawl below us, the straight, crisscrossing roads of the old Roman settlement defined by lines of streetlamps, the orange glare they cast across the city making it easy to pick out landmarks. The university college to the north. My old school. The glass tower of the ASG building where Lisa worked. The roof of the nursery school where I worked away to the left. And then, below all that, the spire of St Michael's Church where I'd been christened as a baby and the ancient cathedral, floodlights bathing both in gold.
"Why haven't I done this before?" I whispered, shaking my head in disbelief. "Beautiful. So beautiful."
"I couldn't agree more." Behind me, Adam's voice was unexpectedly near, his breath warm on my ear. I let him prise the sandals from my fingers, watching as he placed them with his jacket on the grass. When he straightened up, one warm hand landed on my bare upper arm, the other gently swept the hair away from the nape of my neck. The knowledge he was about to kiss me there turned my knees to jelly and by the time his lips actually made contact I was trembling violently, my heart racing so fast I could barely breathe. "It's okay," he murmured, his steadying hands dropping to my waist. "This is only going to go as far as you want it to go. I know you aren't sure whether you can trust me, but I promise you that you can. And, oh God; ” he gave a short, rather uncertain laugh "; I can also promise you that I've never done anything as impulsive as this in my life. It's completely freaking me out."
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't hear Lisa's voice in my head imploring me not to trust him. Oddly enough though, another version of Lisa's voice was telling me that I should. Confusing;
"Why are you doing it then?" It came out as a whisper. My own voice didn't seem to be working properly at all. He laughed softly. "Good question. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it. I have to kiss you."
When I turned in his arms he did just that. His mouth was gentle at first, his tongue tentatively seeking my own as he gathered me close, fitting my softness into the hard planes of his body. And just as before, when he deepened the kiss, I began to lose all sense of space and time, my eyes closing as I surrendered to him, wholly and completely. I knew his hands on my shoulders, sliding down the spaghetti straps, his fingers teasing a path over the taut skin of my back, then travelling downwards, finding the zip at the back of my dress. But when he lowered it I whimpered into his mouth. "Hey," he murmured, sounding concerned. "Should I stop?"
I shook my head, still dazed by the pleasure of his kiss. He smiled, but made no attempt to recapture my lips. Slowly, his gaze holding mine the whole time, he brought his fingers around to my chest, hooking his thumbs into the front of my dress then easing the fabric forward and down. I gasped, the shock of exposure turning my already-hardened nipples into pebbles.
"No bra?" He seemed pleasantly surprised.
"No point," I countered, casting a nervous glance at my breasts, pearlescent in the moonlight. Mother Nature hadn't seen fit to give me an hourglass figure to make the most of my curves. I was a classic pear, all bottom and no top.
"I don't know about that." Adam didn't appear at all disappointed, taking a step back to look his fill, his hands holding the dress at my waist. "They're beautiful." His eyes lifted, his expression softening when he saw my disbelief. "You're beautiful."
It occurred to me that I should be afraid but I wasn't. There was something more than a little surreal; dreamlike even; about standing there half-naked in front of him, alone on a hillside. I was center stage in an empty theatre, the illuminated magnificence of the city serving as backdrop, Adam the only person in the audience.
"Really?" My voice had deserted me again, the sound coming out as a rather hoarse croak. "They're; they're too small."
He looked incredulous. "Who told you that?" Once again my expression must've spoken volumes for in the next moment he gave a disgusted snort. "Wanker," he said, shaking his head. "He really didn't deserve you."
I laughed weakly, heartened by the vehemence in his tone. "And you do?"
Whoa;  Where had that come from? I hadn't intended to throw down the gauntlet.
He smiled. "Well, I guess I'll have to let you decide." Closing the space between us, he sought my lips and I was lost, drawn into a swirling vortex of bliss, my body becoming boneless beneath his assault. I moaned in protest when he paused, only to moan again as he turned his attention to my jaw, trailing kisses along to my ear, across my neck, my shoulder. He moved lower to the rise of my breasts then higher again, teasing and tormenting me into such a state of need that by the time he sank to his knees in front of me I was taut with anticipation. And when he finally drew one painfully erect nipple deep into the moist heat of his mouth, I cried out, powerless to stop the sound, a surge of pleasure flooding my body. His hands tightened to support me, a delighted grin lighting his face. "You nearly came."
It was true. I could feel the moisture pooling between my thighs, dampening my knickers. "Adam," I whispered helplessly, more aroused than I'd ever been in my life but too scared to ask for more, a tiny fragment of rational thought urging caution. "I've never done anything like this; ”
"I know you haven't. I haven't either." Though the words were spoken calmly enough, I heard a faint tremor to his tone. "But I want you."
I gazed down at him, weak with relief. "I; I want you too."
"Thank God," he muttered, releasing my waist. There was a soft swishing sound, a slight breeze and suddenly I was standing there in nothing but my knickers, my dress in a crumpled heap around my ankles.
"Wow." Standing up for a better look, Adam appeared gratifyingly stunned. "How could you possibly believe you aren't beautiful?" Heart thudding noisily in my ears, I took the hand he offered and stepped out of my dress, not daring to look anywhere but at his face, in that moment feeling more attractive, more desirable; hell, sexier; than I'd ever felt in my life. A moment later it occurred to me that one of us was still wearing altogether too many clothes. "It's your turn," I gulped, my shaking fingers reaching for the front of his shirt. He chuckled softly, watching as I struggled to undo the ridiculously tiny buttons, his own fingers coming down to help. When the last had popped free, I spread open his shirt to discover a broad chest and an abdomen rippling with muscle. "Oh God," I groaned, awed; and frankly, a little afraid. "You work out."
He laughed again, stooping to kiss me. "And now I know why," he murmured into my mouth, cupping my bottom and pulling me against him until I could feel the hard bulge of his arousal.
I nearly came again, the mere thought of his body driving into mine sending my womb into spasm. Without further preamble, I grabbed his hips, pushing him away so that I could get to the fastening of his slacks.
"Wait." His voice hoarse, he stilled my hands with just one of his own, reaching into his pocket with the other.
"What? Oh; ” As he produced his wallet and flicked it open, I felt a stab of relief. Protection. I'd completely forgotten.
"Oh no; ”
"Adam?" But it wasn't difficult to guess what was wrong.
He gazed at me in dismay. "I'm so sorry. I was sure I still had one. Shit, I don't believe this."
I stared back, not quite able to believe it myself. "It's okay," I murmured automatically.
"No, it's not bloody okay. God; ” He grasped my shoulders and drew me into his arms, his erection between us a cruel reminder of our predicament. "I don't suppose you've; ?"
"No, but; ” I had no experience of condoms; James had refused to wear them, insisting instead that I took birth control. Typical, I realized, with a blinding flash of new self-awareness, that he'd make me assume responsibility for that as well as everything else. And despite our relationship being long over, I still took those tiny little tablets, reluctant to lose the order I'd gained over my naturally irregular cycle. "I'm on the pill," I said, blushing furiously. "I've been taking it since I was eighteen. You wouldn't get me pregnant." At least, I was fairly certain he wouldn't. Sometimes I missed a dose here and there, but I was sure it hadn't happened lately.
As he pulled back to look at me, I thought I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes, so when he shook his head my heart sank. "It's not just about that, though, is it?"
"But I've never been with anyone but James; I told you; we were both virgins. And I know he didn't sleep with anyone else while we were together; still hasn't, if what people tell me is true." I hesitated, growing increasingly desperate. "And you; you were with Claire; for what, ten years? Was there; have you; ?" I couldn't bring myself to say the words.
His expression seemed to darken. "I never cheated on Claire, if that's what you're asking, and no, there hasn't been anyone since. And for what it's worth, I've never had sex without protection. Claire couldn't take the pill, and before Claire; well, like I said; ” He held me at arms' length and gazed at me for what felt like an eternity, his hungry eyes devouring my near-naked body. "Sweetheart, it's a crazy idea."
"Going to dinner with you was a crazy idea," I whispered. "But I still did it." And with that same feeling of recklessness that had started all this, I leaned forward and kissed him.
For a moment, I didn't think he was going to change his mind. He let me take charge this time, let me seek entrance to his mouth, my tongue mating shyly with his. But then, with a loud groan, he wrenched his mouth from mine and swept me; quite literally; off my feet. "God help me; I want you!" he growled, whirling me around before setting me down again, planting kisses all over my face, neck and breasts, his hands seeming everywhere at once, stroking and caressing me into a state of breathless need.
I reciprocated as best I could, kissing him wherever I could reach, my own hands heading for just one destination; the front of his trousers. Having managed to undo his belt, I battled in vain with the button, growing increasingly frustrated. "Adam; please!"
"Here." Relenting at last, his fingers replaced my own, unsnapping the button easily and drawing down the fly. He kicked off his shoes then let me help him shrug away his trousers and underwear.
It was my turn to sink to my knees. "Oh God," I breathed, unable to close my hand around him, my excitement rapidly turning to alarm. "You're huge."
He made a sound that was half groan, half snort of laughter. "That's very flattering, but I'm not."
"What?"
His eyes widened. "You're serious?"
"You're not going to fit." I ran my fingers over his cock, marveling at the girth, his length. I still wanted him; needed him; so very badly, I could cry with disappointment.
"Sweetheart." Adam lifted my hand away, his voice gentle. "I promise you, I'm not that big. Maybe a tiny bit bigger than average, but not much." He knelt beside me, tilting up my chin with his finger. "So, either you've been reading some cheesy magazine article on what you should always say to your man, or, your ex-boyfriend was hung like a hamster."
I stared back at him, disbelieving. "A hamster?"
He nodded, biting his lip.
"This; ” I reached down again, weighing his heavy cock in my palm "; this is normal?" I couldn't help but stroke it, the skin was so soft, a stark contrast to the rock hard flesh beneath.
"So I'm told. Whoa; I can't let you do that again." His voice was taut, his breathing harsh as he caught my hand again, snatching it away. "Go easy on me, gorgeous. It's been more than two years."
I watched as he plucked up his jacket and spread it out on the grass behind me, all the moisture deserting my mouth. "Two years, eh?" I squeaked as he seized my shoulders, toppling me backwards and following me down. He froze, his lips hovering millimeters above my own. "Why?" he demanded. "How long has it been for you?"
I swallowed hard, reveling in the feel of his warm flesh against mine. "Four."
"Four years?" He rolled his eyes. "Oh dear God," he muttered. "I'm not going to last ten seconds. I'd better look after you first."
"Look after; unh!" His talented mouth came down again, swallowing my words, driving them straight out of my head. Before tonight, I'd never thought much about kissing. I'd always enjoyed it; sort of. But with James there'd always been a point where I'd stopped enjoying and began enduring, half-suffocated by his lust. With Adam, my need for oxygen was gone. I was breathing pure Adam. Nothing else mattered.
It was only when his mouth left mine and began nuzzling lower that I began to suspect what he had in mind;  "Oh no," I groaned as he reached my tummy, his tongue circling my belly button before moving steadily downwards. "You can't!"
"Can't what?" Grinning at me, he tucked his thumbs into the waistband of my lacy knickers and started to tug. "Can't take these off? Can't kiss you here?" He touched his lips to the tender strip of skin he'd exposed. "Or here?" he murmured, sliding my underwear lower and kissing me again, right on the line where my curls began. I squirmed, scared that I'd misunderstood his intentions and that I'd make a fool of myself if I answered. James had never gone down on me, giving me the impression he found it unnatural, dirty, even; though he'd had no qualms about me using my mouth on him. "It's; it's not that," I managed. To be continued in part 3, Based on the works of evans lily, for Literotica.
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guozhir · 7 months ago
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Chapter 1: On the Bridge (1)
Title: [Unlimited] What is it like being a ghost in a horror story?
Author: Guess who I am
Genre: Spin off - Romance - TV - Modern setting
Tags (up to four): TV fanfic, supernatural, rebirth, unlimited flow
Serialization date: 20Y3/3/17
Licensing information: Not licensed
Status: Serializing
Award: Groundbreaking (Rising Star Ranking)
Synopsis:
In the eighteenth year after my death, I got caught up in a scheme.
PS: Midnight Feast had its grand finale last week, did you guys catch it, my dears? Anyway, this distinguished VIP is ready for the second viewing! Xiaoyu-meimei's acting as Tangtang was so cute, she definitely has a bright future! A work from a small fan, centered around the heroine, supernatural paro, my dears, please support me and express your thoughts~
PPS: The content has little to do with the original plot, so those who have never watched the TV series can read it without worry.
Main character: Tang Guo, water ghost
Chap1 Prologue
Update time: 20Y3-3-17 12:00:00
Summary: Eighteen years after my death, am I...... breathing?
Text:
After drowning, I became a water ghost.
They say, only those who are obsessed with it will not reincarnate after death. They also say, leave when you're supposed to leave. Persistently entangled in the mortal realm for three lifetimes, is it not just wronging others and yourself? I feel that what they say is right. Sometimes I also preach to the other ghosts like this, but everyone knows the logical truth. When I think about myself, I still feel unwilling for no reason.
For what reason am I alone so miserable? What have I done that is so against heaven and reason, that I did not have a good life, nor a good death in the end?
But the Netherworld is more unreasonable than the mortal realm. I can't even think about it. Thinking just brings distracting thoughts. Either way, if my beliefs are not aligned, I cannot reincarnate. I would have to stay in the water, capturing a living person to be my "scapegoat" to escape.
Don't ask why, how should I know? Anyways, only we drowned people have this task, other ghosts don't have to do it. There is a hierarchy of distain for shitting and farting when we are alive. But there are still a variety of ways to die, how unlucky!
However, my conscience is still intact and I'm still rational. I really don't want to do those immoral things, so I chose to become a "vegetarian ghost."
This means, I only drag those who want to die, and are about to die, into the water, helping them and helping me, a win-win situation.
Unfortunately, ideals must be broken.
Every time I see those so-called "in complete despair" people, I wait beside them longingly. But as soon as I pull their feet a little, they start to kick their feet hastily, and some even scream for help. In the end, not only do I fail my task, but I also have to help rescue them. I can't tell whether I'm a ghost or a dolphin, which is outrageous.
But flowers have their blooming season, foods have a shelf life, and the water ghost mission also has a time limit. Legend has it that we have an eighteen-year death limit. If I can't catch a scapegoat within eighteen years, I will turn into foam like the Little Mermaid and submerge in the stinky sewer, unable to be reincarnated.
I didn't take it seriously before. After all, eighteen years is a long time and I've never heard of a loser who couldn't catch a scapegoat in eighteen years. Yet starting from the end of last year, I, who has no nose, suddenly felt like I was slowly rotting and turning smelly. I then realized I was the loser from the legend.
Time was running out, and I later realized that I was getting angry because of my anxiety. But I'm a northern ghost. The water here freezes over in the winter, even the shore is cold. Dogs don't come to pee by the shore, much less people.
The twelfth lunar month, I struggled for a long time, and decided to give up my vegetarian diet. Regardless of whether the other person is alive or dead, I would pull them down as long as they jumped in the water, regardless of whether they regret it or not. After finally making up my mind, no one committed suicide in the twelfth lunar month.
The first lunar month, I got anxious. Using any means necessary, I carved a hole under the ice, preparing to catch anyone skating on outdoors ice. I was done with it, not caring for whether people died or lived.
Yet it turns out no one went ice skating!
After the Lantern Festival, I had no choice but to become a complete freak. I couldn't care less about propriety, justice, and integrity. I wanted a scapegoat!
I was prepared to use the seaweed to drag a living person from the shore as soon as the ice melted. Who knew that when spring had just begun, the damn municipal government would install iron fences by the water again!
Gosh!
Is this my retribution for being a good ghost for eighteen years?
It was getting warmer day by day, and I got more anxious day by day. Entering March, I was nearly in despair because the date of my death was March 17th eighteen years ago. Who knew it would be my death day again eighteen years later!
I got less and less clear-headed; day by day, I felt like I was gradually melting into this pool of stagnant water, and the seaweed no longer obeyed my orders.
Just like eighteen years ago, I drowned again, only this time it was longer and more torturous.
Right when I was at the end of my rope, half dead, I heard a familiar "crash" sound, and the waves brought the smell of life!
I revived like dying embers, almost crying with joy. Someone climbed over the railing and fell into the water!
Soon enough, I rushed over without hesitation, like a starving person who saw a large cake. I didn't even see clearly what person looked like. I impatiently weaved the seaweed around the person's feet, pulling the person down greedily and desperately.
Die, I'm begging you! Just die, I can only live if you die!
However, very quickly, I felt that something was not right. This person didn't resist at all. When I pulled them, they fell straight into the water, sinking like a rock.
Fuck, I thought to myself, they couldn't have already died right?
Then god really is messing with me!
I quickly went closer, only then seeing that the person who had been dragged down by the seaweed was a woman. She had very long hair, was of average height, very thin, almost as if she were paper. When soaked in water, she looked more like a ghost than me.
Suddenly, she opened her eyes, staring straight at me.
That's okay, she was still alive, but before I could relax, I was overwhelmed with horror.
In those pupils...... in those pupils was actually my reflection!
I haven't looked in a mirror since I died, and I came face to face with my own "exceptionally beautiful" face without warning. I was almost scared out of my mind, freezing for a moment. But at that moment, I felt those eyes getting bigger and bigger, getting closer and closer to me......
Then my vision went dark, a long-lost weight pressing down on my head, and cold smelly water rushed into my nose and mouth.
I'm a ghost, what nose and mouth?
But drowning was too painful, and I had no room to think about it at all. I instinctively kicked my legs, kicking away the seaweeds that were tangled all over my body. I struggled towards the shore, climbing up with all my strength, then sneezed loudly.
Wait a minute, I...... sneezed?
Eighteen years after my death, am I...... breathing?
I lowered my head blankly, looking at my dirty hands, dumbfounded.
I seem to have taken over her body.
Us water ghosts...... have this ability?
This woman hadn't eaten in an unknown amount of time; her stomach was pressed against her chest. When the cold wind by the water blew, I felt the long-forgotten hunger and cold.
I was confused at the time: Was she dead or alive? Am I dead or alive?
What exactly was going on with us?
Before I could figure it out, a flashlight swept over me. Someone had spotted me...... her...... ah, ah someone, someone, it's too weird.
The person who discovered me was a security guard who was patrolling at night. He had a very loud voice, being able to be heard from two zhang. People who were walking their dogs, night joggers, people practicing square dancing...... all appeared out of nowhere. He had attracted all of them. A lot of people surrounded me and asked questions.
I haven't spoken to anyone in eighteen years, and I was still struggling to find my voice. But at this moment, my tongue moved on its own.
It was like a squirming worm. I felt sick, subconsciously opening my mouth, and heard myself making a sound.
"I drank too much, and accidentally fell down......"
"I'm okay, thank you, I'm sober now...... I'm clear-headed."
"No need...... no need to call the police...... I live nearby...... the community right there."
I got goosebumps all over my body, shutting my mouth from shock, and the thin and trembling words came to an abrupt stop.
Being struck by five thunders could not even describe the panic I felt at the moment, but the heart in this body's chest was beating calmly, completely out of sync with my mind.
The original owner of this body wasn't dead; she was still here, just stuck with me!
Two souls controlling one body at the same time was a lot worse than a "three legged race" where two people share a leg. If two people stumble around each other in a three legged race, what about our current situation?
The strange thing was, I can control this body rather smoothly. I can speak when I want to speak, and shut up when I want to. I can't feel her panic at all, but if I stop paying attention and loosen my jaw, she will automatically reply to the people around her, and even stand up on her own.
I bit her tongue harshly, tears welling up in my eyes, but she didn't resist at all!
I felt as if I was driving a car on a steep slope; it stops when I step on the breaks, and it drives automatically when I take my foot off!
She wasn't panicked, wasn't afraid of me, didn't reject me, didn't stop me, only holding those unknown motives staring at me...... quietly in the dark.
I should have jumped into the water and downed her immediately, but there were too many spectators, and there were even a few meddling old men and women who said they wanted to call the police, making me break into cold sweat from fear. I'm a pussy 1! I'm scared of light, fire, and Yang energy. There are so many warm living people surrounding me, and I'm already suffocating. I'm afraid that if a few more citizens were call over, would I not just die on the spot?
I was also panicking at the time, only knowing how to repeatedly incoherently say to not call the police, I can just go home.
A passerby couple recognized the original owner of the body, saying that "I" was a resident in their building, and they wanted to give me a ride home.
What skills we water ghosts have can only be used in the water where we drowned, unable to be transferred to other bodies of water. This broken body was both thin and weak; I became panicked and short of breath when I walked to fast, completely unable to get away from these two living people. I had no choice but to be "escorted" by them into a building.
Fortunately, the original owner's body automatically pressed the elevator floor. It wasn't until I got off the elevator that I got rid of the two nosy people, ready to sneak downstairs and return to my territory as soon as they left. Who knew that the second the elevator doors closed, and before I even had the chance to press the button again, a door would suddenly open behind me.
My...... no, the heart in this body of mine thumped, a chill running down my spine.
A head popped out of the open door, a woman, appearing to be twenty-four or five? Or twenty-eight/nine?
I couldn't tell. Her makeup was half done, her face as pale as a freshly painted wall. She had long curly hair, which was dyed reddish brown, and braided into two fluffy braids. Her facial features were memorable, and her figure was also rather nice. I couldn't find fault with her, but she wasn't good-looking at all, because her eyes were sharp and cold, like a snake. As soon as I saw her, I felt the original owner's body tense up, trembling, and what little energy she had almost disappeared.
The woman frowned, dragging me into the apartment: "What madness did you get into, looking like this?"
Her nails were harder and sharper than her head. I could clearly see that those wasn't a hand at all, but a claw covered in human skin.
The claws were arid, cold, and powerful. The strong scent of rose water hit me, hiding the fishy and putrid smell.
Just what monster was this?!
This weird girl could see water ghosts in the water, and there was a yaoguai by her that was not easy to deal with. What on earth have I provoked?!
Also...... we water ghosts typically cannot possess living people. So in this current situation, is it me who has possessed her or...... or has she captured me?!
She did it on purpose, no wonder why she wasn't worried about being possessed by a ghost at all!
"I told you to make a phone call, did you make it yet?" The female monster pulled me into the apartment, leaving me by the door of the bathroom. Then she turned around, continuing to put makeup on while facing the mirror, as if she didn't notice my presence.
I knew that I would never be able to beat her in a fight. Out of fear of being exposed, I didn't dare to speak, hoping the original owner would speak, but the original owner also refused to make a peep.
"Can you do anything?" The female monster seemed used to the original owner's silence, and didn't mind. After putting on lipstick, her gaze drifted from the mirror, and landed on me. She glanced at me, then said with disgust, "Why do you get uglier the older you get?"
The original owner and I, one ghost, one human, continued to not speak.
"Get yourself cleaned up." The female monster with boundless power gave cold orders, "Wash up and put on a facial mask. I'm taking you to dinner with people tomorrow. If you keep acting like that, you better watch out."
I saw faint traces of blood on her teeth and shivered. Before I could think more about it, my legs dragged me to the bedroom towards the south like a ghost, and closed the door.
Temporarily out of sight of the female monster, I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned against the door, vaguely feeling as if I had forgotten something.
There were no lights on in the dark room. At present, I was attracted to the only source of light. There was a digital alarm clock on the bedside table. It was ticking, displaying that the current time was March 16, 20:08.
My mind buzzed, and I recalled: the 17th was less than four hours away!
There are less than four hours left. If I cannot escape, I will fall into despair!
Comments on this chapter (by reply time):
[Little Miss Dragon] 0 min just now Newcomer topping the list, preserving courtesy. I haven't seen a supernatural work on the list for a long time, good luck big shot!
[Caterpillar No 3] 0 min just now It's a bit scary, not my type of story, sorry.
[Don't be afraid, Tangtang] 0 min 1 day ago A gourmet chef who accidentally opened this calmly clicking x. [My Husband is 2D] replied: Not by accident, you were tricked into it right? The blurb clearly says Midnight Feast fanfic, but the text is of lower quality.
[My Husband is 2D] 2 min just now Writing horror stories under the modern sweet romance genre, shamelessly riding on the popular tag Writing horror stories under the modern sweet romance genre, shamelessly riding on the popular show tag Writing horror stories under the modern sweet romance genre, shamelessly riding on the popular show tag Writing horror stories under the modern sweet romance genre, shamelessly riding on the popular show tag Trash, if you have the ability, then remove my comment again
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[Snow Skin Rice Cake] 5h 2 min ago Sending 3 [roses] to the author
[Gourmet food never surrenders] 5h 0 min ago ??? can the gourmet chefs who were lied to by the tag gather here, what does this work have to do with our sweet drama? [Sugar sugar sugar sugar] replied: Arriving +1 [kkrtt] replied: +2 [Little Miss Dragon] replied: +3 [Don't be afraid, Tangtang] replied: +10086
[Crayon] 1 day 0 min ago A supernatural suspense novel? [Tang Guo waifu wait for me] replied to [Crayon]: It's a Midnight Feast fanfic, I don't know what paro it is, respected author write more ah [Sugar sugar sugar sugar] replied to [Tang Guo waifu wait for me]: Nope, the gourmet kitchen is withdrawing, sister read the text, it has nothing to do with Midnight Feast, this is purely for traffic.
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[kkrtt] 1 day 0 min ago This is a fan? How weird.
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Footnotes
1 priest uses the term 陰物 which refers to female genitalia
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kaypeace21 · 2 years ago
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i think with noah's interview and confirming that will's gay and in love with mike; and that the duffer brothers have been building it up since season 1, i'll be anticipating for a big payoff in s5. they can just build up byler and make it unrequited. it doesn't make sense plus it completely deviates from all the subtexts and hints they've given us for four seasons already.
I agree that it wouldn't make sense to not have byler endgame. And to do all this set up just for it to be unrequited. I've been pointing out all the subtext for years. And yes , there is alot of queer subtext in s1. That made it pretty obvious Will was gay and even hinted that mike wasn't straight either. Which my followers know I've talked about extensively. I also pointed out how most of the byler scenes were initiated by mike in s1-2. And how s1, 2, 3 and 4 still had a bunch of byler subtext for both Will and Mike. One of the positive aspects about s4 byler is that they showed it's not simply mike always taking care of Will. But that it's mutual: Will also takes care of and checks on mike's emotions too. The best part of their relationship: is that they actually talk to eachother about their feelings . And s4 pretty much confirmed Will is gay and in love with Mike (to the oblivious fans who missed all the prior hints in past seasons- but hilariously there were still "gay- Will" deniers after s4).
Which is why I need byler to not just be subtext anymore (because alot of queerbaits are subtext). Byler may be endgame in s5. But it's tiring that we only get subtext,and m*leven gets a whole love confession (even if behind the subtext we know mike didn't fall in love right after seeing her, the vines tightening around El as mike spoke, the fact some of mike's line were literally identical to brenner's speech to el , not even getting into the superhero line again, or how awkward the 2's dynamic is after the confession .) Plus, in s4 (and prior seasons) they constantly show Elmike parallel familial dynamics - probably to hint it's familial love (not romantic love). But, in spite of that, plenty of people will take the romantic confession as straight forward confirmation for m*leven.
Right now if they wanted they could theoretically still sell out- and go the cliche route (with m*leven etc). They retcon all the time anyways. And alot of the general audience wouldn't question how it contradicts - the narrative, character arcs ,the background details, subtext/dialogue, etc.
So at this point- I really think the love confession was a poor choice. Even if it's meant to subvert expectations . They just lost a lot of queer fans' trust and m*levens would have some right to be upset in s5 (if byler is canon.)
And yeah the fact El (originally) In s1 was supposed to die and be 2 years younger than mike .Doesn't scream romantic endgame. Not to mention how unhealthy they are as a couple - but I can't always expect people not to sell out. Or even write healthy romances.
I'm hoping for the best... but they still lost my trust a lot (given certain elements in s4). The way they handled certain story beats besides byler /m*leven (but also the whole lucas /erica fights + how they planned on k*lling max originally- going against the whole vecna allegory of max "running up that hill" to overcome her su*cidal thoughts). It just made me question their writing. Did s4 have alot of positive elements though- yeah, it would be a lie to say otherwise.
Do I still think byler was the original plan, and could possibly still be endgame- yes. Alot of evidence points to byler being endgame: the byler subtext in literal every season (even making direct contrasts/parallels of byler to m*leven).While m*leven has relationahip issues every season they date. And mike/el dating brings out the worst in eachother, and literally every season when they get back together they undo all their past character arcs/lessons. They don't improve. M*even in s3 and 4: they ignore their friends for eachother, lie to eachother, fight, say I love you. Wash and repeat. Mike in the beginning of s4 is hero worshiping el- is it solved in s4 , nope. Just double downed on that mike hero worships rather than sees her as his gf. And even before dating it was hinted it wouldn't be healthy (el's spying , jealousy,etc)- so I'm not surprised. Plus, how s4 ended, and how alot of the films that inspired s4 -have couples that parallel byler. And also because Will in s5 is "supposedly" a primary focus again. But do I 100% trust the duffers to actually give us endgame byler like I used to - no.
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viviennevermillion · 3 years ago
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Answering the entirety of this ask meme for Azul Ashengrotto
Welcome to "the longest fucking post"™
Here's the original post
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❤ Are they romantic?
Definitely. Azul is the type of guy who fits the whole roses and fancy dinners aesthetic and somewhere along the line he realizes he's actually good at pulling romantic things off. He initially starts with it during the time you started dating because he wanted to play it safe and rely on what was typically considered romantic but he soon noticed it isn't something he has to force himself to do and comes rather naturally once he can put aside his initial nervousness.
Additionally I think Azul is a romantic as a state of mind. Once he feels comfortable enough around you and the realization settles in that the two of you love each other, he has a tendency to idealize your relationship a little (to a healthy level). He has a lot of rather deep and slightly poetic thoughts about your connection (doesn't mean he'd say them out loud though).
🧡 How do they confess that they like someone?
Oh geez this man probably suffers from chronic pining so if you're like, the least bit assertive when it comes to romance, you're gonna be the one who confesses first. In case it's indeed Azul confessing, I see multiple ways this could go:
At the end of a date: You asked him out so he's already somewhat aware that you feel the same, which makes it easier for him to make a move and just tell you once your date is over. Of course he thought very elaborately about what he would say to you when the time finally came. Doesn't stop him from being flustered though.
After ages of waiting he finally confessed: There's a certain amount of time after which even Azul gets sick of the pining, especially because the twins keep teasing him about it and the longer he waits the more they drop unsolicited hints that Azul likes you (cue Jade @-ing you under Azul's Magicam posts). So he plans the whole thing out and casually asks you for a date after class. He'd set up a nice dinner for the two of you at Mostro Lounge (when no other customers are around of course) and eventually confess his feelings to you. Despite his nervousness he keeps his suave businessman persona. Now you either got the option to roll with that or you could point it out and you'd get a flustered octopus who's secretly glad you can see through him and still love him for how he is.
Accidental: Now that accident can be many things. Azul just being dead tired and almost passing out on his desk. Seeing a magical item at the Atlantica Memorial Museum and asking "Why does this show you?" before he reads the 'depicts the person you love' sign right next to it. Or sometimes an accidental confession is just Floyd offhandedly mentioning "Koebi-chan, did you know that Azul has a huge crush on you?~" as revenge for the dorm leader making him do the dishes when Floyd didn't want to and Azul's poor unfortunate soul proceeding to internally die several deaths. Accidental confessions would definitely take this man out and stun him for a while as he anxiously tries to say anything to make the situation less awkward but he composes himself and melts as soon as you tell him you feel the same.
In a crisis: As much as Azul likes to be careful and calculated, he doesn't like to have regrets. So when you two are caught up in a fight together or like, uh, let's say a shady ass research facility in the middle of nowhere (nervous laughter), I could see him telling you how he feels fairly easily. He wants you to know in case something bad happens.
💛 Do they drop hints that they like someone and what are they?
It's more like that he constantly prompts you to drop hints. He uses every opportunity he can to steer your conversation to the topic of love and dating, of course in a way where you don't notice he's doing it on purpose, to see if you show any signs of being interested in him. Azul doesn't drop hints himself until he's fairly convinced you have feelings for him. If that's the case, he tends to make some ambiguous comments that can be interpreted as romantic but played off as a joke in case you react negatively.
💚 What's their type?
I have a lot of thoughts on this one and I feel like there's several characteristics that Azul is easily drawn to.
Confident and open but with a sad past: I feel like that would be a solid match for him. Azul strikes me as a person who's probably frequently dealing with the trauma-related kind of imposter syndrome where he constantly feels like he has to reaffirm his image and hide a "true self" (which is really just a bunch of insults about his past self which he has internalized to the point where his subconscious believes they still apply). So having someone around who's been through their fair share of hardships in life and has a genuine and healthy amount of self-confidence and especially self-acceptance as well as doesn't mind talking openly about their experiences and feelings would not only help Azul to strengthen the idea in his mind that he has indeed grown from the "dumb, clumsy octopus" people have tried to convince him he'd always be, but it would also help him to realize that opening up to other people and not hiding the parts of himself people have taught him aren't lovable does not equal vulnerability and weakness. And anyone who can inspire a bit of genuine self-acceptance in Azul is someone he'd want to keep around in his life and could probably love very easily.
Kindness: Azul isn't the kindest person himself but I think he will definitely respect and treasure genuine kindness. Probably not if you're naive on top of it or forgive everyone, but if he can tell you truly care about the people who deserve it and gladly make someone's day better, it'd be a very significant reason why he fell for you. Honestly, most people who have experienced a large amount of hatred and cruelty for a long amount of time won't take true kindness for granted and Azul is no exception.
Protective: This one's been a headcanon for a while. Might also have to do with his past but I can see Azul being into a protective s/o. The idea of having someone around who loves him and wouldn't hesitate to jump in and defend him would give him a well-appreciated sense of security and stability, even if your actual strength compared to his would be the equivalent of a chihuahua trying to protect Godzilla.
Rational: I feel like Azul definitely wants a partner who is rational. As in, they have a good amount of self-preservation instincts, their decisions are based on solid reason and they don't indulge things without being as informed about them as necessary.
💙 What is their perfect date?
While Azul does vibe with the whole fancy dinner date aesthetic, I feel like he'd really love movie dates. He canonically likes dark spaces and I think he'd really enjoy watching a movie which interests him with the person he loves, just sitting in a dark cinema, sharing snacks with you, leaning close to you and occasionally pulling you in for a loving kiss. After the movie he'd have a long elaborate conversation with you about the plot while you're snuggled close to him in his bed and he'd gently run his fingertips across your back.
💜 What's their favorite kind of gift?
Your love and affection. To be able to even give Azul gifts in the first place means you'll probably have to sign a contract somewhere that he won't be indebted to you if you give him gifts for free. That aside I don't think Azul is much of a friend of receiving surprise gifts in general, but he'll never say no to a new coin for his collection or a good book.
🎁 What gift would they get their s/o?
He'd give you the whole world wdym? Azul would probably give you the typical romantic gifts. Flowers, chocolate and accessories. Likely something from the Coral Sea.
🖤 Do they enjoy loving or being loved?
Both but especially in the beginning of the relationship I think Azul will be more passive and enjoy receiving and reciprocating affection more than initiating it, because he's still unsure what to do and he also doesn't want to come off as too clingy (because he's fully aware that he's clingy af)
💔 How do you break their heart?
Cheating, playing mind games with him, not telling him if you're dissatisfied with him, being mean to him and betraying his trust are probably the ones that'd hurt him the most.
❣ What makes them blush/gets their heart pounding?
Everything.
Shameless flirting: Oh god, if there's one thing Azul is not prepared for it's this. Just offhandedly hitting on him when you two are hanging out together or meet in school is surely a way to make him a flustered mess.
Affection: Azul isn't used to physical affection and his relationship experience is most likely 0 so in the beginning of the relationship as he gets used to receiving affection he's definitely gonna blush quite a few times. First kisses? His cheeks turned pink. Cuddling with you for the first time? He's flustered and awkwardly wraps his arms around you. Neck kisses? Congratulations, Azul.exe has stopped working.
Being called beautiful / handsome etc.: He never expects this but he appreciates so much. Give this man a confidence boost, he deserves it.
💕 Their future goals in a relationship? How far do they want to take it?
Azul doesn't trust people easily and lets them into his heart, so when he starts dating you, he does so with the intention of making it last. Of course he knows that relationships don't always work out and that few people stay with their first love, but he wants to hope you'll be around to grow old with him. Also I think Azul does want to get married one day. However when it comes to planning his future, Azul is probably one of the most flexible characters in the cast.
💞 How do you win their heart?
Be patient with him. Show him support and that he can lean on you, even if it might take him a while to actually take you up on the offer. Don't shy away from showing him that he's important to you and what you like about him. Make a move towards him. While Azul definitely understands being anxious and nervous about approaching someone you like, he'd be touched by seeing that he means enough to you for you to just be upfront about your feelings for him.
💓 How do they act when they realize they're in love/have a crush?
Not much different than usually. It's really hard to notice Azul has a crush if you don't happen to be Jade witnessing how his gaze lingers on you when he thinks no one's looking. The most that changes is that Azul spends more time around you and asks you more questions about yourself, which could also be interpreted as him just trying to be your friend or wanting to make a profit. So unless you specifically try to prompt some reactions from him, you probably won't notice.
💗 How do they show affection?
Lots of kisses and cuddles. He just seeks your company, asks you to spend time with him and invites you over when he's free. He also stops by at your club or classroom to pay you a short visit during a break and give you a kiss.
💖 Do they like PDA or are they a private person?
Azul is not nearly as clingy in public as he is in private but he doesn't mind a few quick kisses, having an arm wrapped around you or holding your hand in public.
💘 Do they take the time to learn more about their crush by talking/asking or observing?
Absolutely. Azul takes his time to learn things about people in general. He wouldn't have fallen for you as much as he did if he hadn't previously done that. And he'd definitely talk to you more and ask you questions once he realizes his feelings for you, so he can plan how to best approach you and also estimate how you might react to a confession.
💝 Are they more likely to fall for someone if they're friends first?
Definitely. I think the precondition for Azul to fall for anyone is that he feels comfortable around the person. Well, more comfortable than usually that is. So it's likely that he'd consider the person a friend first before he explores any romantic compability or emotions. Or you're like Kalim and just one day declared him your friend and refused to stop caring about him.
❌ Are they scared of being in love?
It's not like Azul is scared of being in love. He's more scared of being rejected and ridiculed. If there's any member in the main cast who has been the unfortunate victim of a childhood crush pretending to like him "as a prank" and then proceed to make fun of him, it's Azul. This is probably a fear of his when it comes to opening up to a crush.
🔍 Do they ask for advice or just deal with their crush on their own?
He would love to deal with his crush on his own if it weren't for Jade giving him advice to tease him all the time.
♒ Do they end up checking to see if their signs are compatible? Or maybe do they do 'love-tests' (enter in your name and see if you're meant for each other kind of thing)?
No but Azul would manipulate a conversation with someone who is curious about these things (probably Cater) to prompt them to whip out a love calculator or synastry report and enter various people into it, for the sole purpose of seeing how you'd react to being matched with him.
🎇 Are the feelings they have like a whirlwind or are they able to keep it under control?
Again, as long as you don't prompt him to get flustered, he's very calm and collected. He may be screaming on the inside but you won't notice any of it.
⭐ Do they believe that soulmates exist?
He didn't at first. He hates relying on something like luck or fate after all. But as time went on and you stayed together, the thought sometimes crosses his mind that maybe it was just meant to be. He still doesn't actively believe in the existence of soulmates though.
🌹 Are they likely to say 'i love you' first?
Oh hell no. Something serious would need to happen for Azul to just tell you he loves you if you never said it before. He's too scared of your reaction. A big thing with Azul is steering conversation and situations in a way that prompts you to say the things he wants to hear or give the types of affection he wants to receive, so he can reciprocate it, rather than having to initiate.
🌸 How often do they say I love you'?
He adjusts to you in that regard. He knows there's people who believe it loses its meaning if said too much. He'd definitely tell you a lot if he knows you don't mind or even better, are happy to hear it, even if it's been quite a few times in the past hours.
💐 Do they enjoy giving compliments or do they like getting them more? What kind of compliments do they give/like?
He likes both but I feel like receiving compliments just means a lot to him and makes him very happy. He appreciates all of them but receiving any praise about the things he's insecure about makes him especially soft. As for giving compliments, it really depends on the atmosphere. It's either the casual ones he tends to give people accompanied by a small chuckle or if you're in a very intimate or emotional situation he'd bring up something more meaningful and special.
🌺 Do they like to tease their significant other?
Not really. Unless you like to tease him. Then he eventually tries to take revenge and make you just as flustered.
🍀 What's their love language?
Out of the classical 5? Giving quality time and physical touch and receiving words of affirmation. But Azul's love for you also shows in trusting you with his feelings and worries. It takes him a long long time to get to that point but if he freely tells you about how he's feeling when you ask or comes to you when he's feeling down, you can see he genuinely loves you very much.
🌼 How do they view their significant other? Are they the light in their life? Best friend? Savior, etc.?
Azul views his s/o as someone who goes through life with him. You build each other up whenever you need it and in an ideal case there's a lot of mutual support and emotional intimacy. For Azul the person he loves is where he can unwind after a tough day and someone who gives him comfort by just being around him, even if you both do different things.
🥀 How do they act when falling out of love?
I think he'd talk that out with you. For Azul to just fall out of love with someone there's probably a reason for why it happened and he sees no need to beat around the bush or pretend everything is fine.
🌻 Will they do anything for their s/o? Will the crocodile tears win them over or are they stubborn on not giving in?
Azul would do a lot for his s/o but you can't expect to win him over with fake tears and exaggerations. I feel like he'd be a little angry if you tried to do that. If you're genuinely upset and crying however, he definitely does what he can to make you feel better.
💋 How do they kiss?
Azul's kisses are always full of emotion, even if it's just the small pecks he gives you in between classes. They're a silent reminder that he's grateful to have you in his life and that he loves you. He adores long and slow kisses though. He'd gently cup one of your cheeks with his hand and his thumb caresses your face as his tongue swirls around yours. Azul loves to take his sweet time when it comes to kissing you so at the end of the day he usually holds you close to him and spends some time just spoiling you with kisses. He whispers "I love you" in between them occasionally and you can feel him smiling into the kiss.
👁 What's their favorite part of their s/o?
Everything. Okay seriously, I don't really see Azul as someone who cares much what his partner looks like. He seems like the type to only start noticing a bunch of details about you he finds beautiful the more he falls in love with you as a person. He loves so many things about you, from your personality to your behavior to the way you look, it's hard for him to just pinpoint a favorite part of you. He fell for you as a whole and often when you look into a mirror you'll find him standing next to you or wrapping his arms around you from behind, smiling to himself. He thinks you fit together and look good as a couple and he's so proud to have you by his side.
👀 Are they protective?
Not unless he knows a situation is too much for you. Usually he trusts that you can handle yourself. He's there to support you when you ask for his help but if he thinks you'll be fine he doesn't really interfere or try to protect you.
🤧 How far will they go to take care of their sick s/o?
The most he'll do is send you to the infirmary even if you complain or check in with you during his breaks, bringing you tea and talking to you for a while. Azul has a business to run and classes to attend so that comes first even if you're sick. But as soon as he got his responsibilities out of the way, he takes the rest of the day to stay by your side and attend to your needs, making sure you feel a little better by the time you go to sleep.
☠ How do they react when they find out their s/o is dead?
Oh god, the angst 😭. He'd be so heartbroken. All that trust he built up? Gone. Losing you hits him so hard that it'll take him ages to let someone in again. He grieves for a long time and he'll struggle to keep working and carry on with his routine every day.
🥳 How do they cheer their s/o up when they're down?
Azul is good with words so he knows the right things to say to make you feel a little better. He's also very observant and attentive so he knows what usually works to cheer you up. He gives you your favorite types of affection, cooks you your favorite food and spends time with you to distract you. If he's busy he lets you stay in the VIP room with him and lets you sit on his lap while he does his paperwork, occasionally pressing a kiss to your lips.
😱 What makes them worry about their s/o the most?
First and foremost of course actual danger to your wellbeing. That's a given. Aside from that I think Azul, much to his disliking, worries fast and struggles to move on with his day until he has confirmation that you're alright. There's some things that he can get worried about on the regular, including:
You're bothered by your past or insecurities: Mostly because he can relate to this and knows how much it can ruin your day. He doesn't want you to go through these problems he knows so well and whether it's waking up from nightmares or struggling to focus on your studies and put anxious thoughts aside, Azul will be there to provide the reassurance and support you need.
Not knowing whether you're safe and well: Please for the love of the sea witch, send this man a text message if you're going somewhere and arrived at your destination or made it home safe, so his mind doesn't run risk of circling around thoughts like "What if y/n had a car accident?". Because unlike Vil, he's not going to call you or text you if he's worried, he's just gonna suffer in silence.
🥰 How often do they stare lovingly at their s/o?
When he's pining after you, all the time. The twins tease him to no end about this. After getting together with you it's more like he occasionally glances at you from the side while you're doing something casual like writing things down in class or scrolling through Magicam and he smiles lovingly.
😎 How do they impress their s/o?
Azul usually tries to impress with his knowledge. Azul's partner would be someone he can easily talk to and he tends to throw a lot of little facts he learnt into his conversations. He's very smart so he has a lot of interesting things to say. He also may pay more attention to his outfits when he has feelings for you and try to impress you with being well-dressed and having good manners.
😆 How do they make their s/o laugh?
Azul usually doesn't try to make you laugh, nor does he crack jokes very often. If you're laughing, it's usually about him getting flustered. Other than that the two of you tend to laugh together about the things that happen around you; the shenanigans of other students, funny things the teachers say in class or a funny post you found on Magicam. Azul only actively tries to make you laugh if you need some cheering up. In that case he's capable of some snarky comments about the teachers or people you don't like.
🏵 Do they enjoy Valentine's Day?
Before you know about his feelings for you, Azul uses Valentine's Day as a tool to get closer to you. An excuse to have conversations about love with you, to "accidentally" get matched with you for some Valentine's Day traditions and to be a little romantic with you without it coming off as weird. That aside, as stated before, I headcanon Azul as a romantic so I think he'll keep up celebrating Valentine's Day with you even after you get together. It's an excuse for him to spend a little extra time with you and spoil you more.
🎫 How do they celebrate their s/o's birthday and how would they like theirs to be celebrated with them?
Azul and you definitely attend each other's birthday parties at NRC but you always make a point to spend some quality time together afterwards. He lets you pick what you want to do for your birthday and usually goes along with it. After the guests have left he definitely wants some alone time with you, which usually involves sharing dinner and taking a nice walk together and making out with him
🎀 Are they likely to fall for someone first or is it the other way around?
Really depends on how fast you fall for people and how well you get along with him from the get go. If you get to know him and you're nice and open to him right from the start I don't think it'll take him very long to fall for you. He's not a love at first sight person but he can fall for someone in a matter of a few weeks if you just fit together very well. It's trusting you and actually opening up to you about his feelings that he struggles with and could potentially take ages.
💌 Do they send loving/cutesy texts to their s/o?
He definitely makes a point to let you know he misses you and loves you and occasionally texts you a compliment when you're not around. You won't go long periods of time without being reassured that Azul's thinking of you when you're away.
🗡 Do they try to be a good influence on their s/o or do they not care?
In an ideal case Azul does not care because you won't need him to be a good influence on you. He'd only try to do that if he sees you repeatedly making terrible life decisions or failing to take care of your responsibilities.
🎉 Are they a fan of nicknames? Do they prefer cutesy, traditional or silly ones?
Now I know I'm probably in the minority when I say I can't really picture Azul calling his s/o "angelfish", but I think most of the time he'd just call you by your name or a short version for it, because he has grown to love your name and he likes the way it sounds when he says it. Other than that he tends to call you "my dear" or "love".
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quickreaver · 3 years ago
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17
& 18 for Sam ask
17. Sam headcanon about the stanford era? (also requested by @ashtraythief !)
That it wasn't a walk in the park, despite his full ride. He wasn't gonna risk losing it because come on, scoring a full ride when you hardly stayed in one school an entire semester? That's no mean feat, and we know Sam had the tendency to burn the candle at both ends. So he likely worked his tail off and then some, beyond what he needed to. Also, despite his best intentions, I suspect he didn't give up hunting cold-turkey. When stuff crossed his path that set off his spidey-senses, he carefully looked into it. Old habits die hard. Until he started dating Jessica, that is, then he gave it up completely because he didn't want her dragged into the danger of the Life. I also think he would've become a public defender, had he continued in law school.
Oh, more also! Sam had a growth spurt in college. When Dean finally sees him again, he's a little jellies (and impressed), can't believe Sam is now taller than both him and Dad. How dare he go and do this??
18. wee!Sam headcanon?
This is a bit of a dicey one, because it involves Dean pretty heavily. I don't believe Dean was the all-sacrificing martyr that a lot of fandom seems to; I don't believe Dean was Sam's "only parent", or that Sam would never have managed a single accomplishment on his own without Dean's exclusive dedication and complete selflessness. Sometimes fandom acts like Dean played momma bird and practically pre-chewed Sam's meals for him. Which, please. I do love Dean but he was just a kid himself, one who did understandably kid things, and while Dean absolutely was given more responsibility than he should've at a young age, Dean is also, by nature, a hedonist and not a champ at resisting temptation. I know damned well (and we have some canonical events that back this up) that Dean snuck off to do Dean stuff sometimes and left Sam by himself . And Sam had every right to bitchface at Dean about it. Brothers, man. ;)
Sam wasn't a goodie-goodie or an immature kid for his age. He couldn't afford to be. They moved around constantly, were dumped with one caregiver or another, and John was likely one scant step ahead of Child Protective Services at any given time, so Sam (and Dean) had to stay as far under-the-radar as possible. This meant either not breaking the law or not getting caught doing it. Sam could be a handy little grifter — adults saw him as an old soul in a kid's body — but not breaking the law was safer, easier, and had fewer repercussions. 'Just My Imagination' validated my headcanon that Sam was a lonely kid. Dean, for whatever reason, didn't come off as a lonely kid; he's more gregarious and outgoing, made friends quickly. Sam just didn't. Dean wears his emotions on his sleeve, Sam keeps them tucked tightly under his vest. (original Sam Winchester ask post)
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nightswithkookmin · 3 years ago
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A quick lesson on ships
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Because why not??😌
No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe
Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:
A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015
Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.
There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.
In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀
Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)
Proshippers are well- Pro ships.
Pro-Ship
A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.
Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.
These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.
‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.
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Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.
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III
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IV
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Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.
As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.
Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.
Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.
So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.
I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.
Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.
I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭
I try to keep it classy.
Lord knows I try.
You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.
There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.
Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.
Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.
They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.
Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.
Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.
There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.
Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is
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If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.
You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about
Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.
I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀
Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.
But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.
Yall do you sis.
I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.
Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.
For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.
In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.
You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.
A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.
Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭
It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.
But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.
If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.
There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.
And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.
It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀
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I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.
I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭
Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭
It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭
He stays shooting his shots🤣
Jimin Harem is real🤭
I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫
But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.
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Summary
Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.
Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.
Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.
I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...
Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...
Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.
I ship all the ships platonically.
Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.
JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.
As nonplatonic ships I mean.
I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣
I hope this helps??
GOLDY
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hot-wiings · 4 years ago
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The One Where Someone Ruins Katsuki Bakugo's Bubbly Girlfriend's Snowman, And They Must Pay.
Edited: 12-17-2020
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Katsuki Bakugo stared out the foggy window. The snow flew down lightly, much nicer now in comparison to the harsh flurries that had stormed down that morning, creating a free day for the UA staff, faculty, and students. The snow landed on your hair, making it shimmer and shine when the sun's glare hit it just right. It was ethereal. You were beautiful, a perfect distraction.
You had begged him to come out with you, but he refused. Midterms were coming up, Katsuki had to study, not go out and goof off with every extra in his class. Katsuki had a homework book out in front of him, a book he was supposed to be reading, instead, he was studying you. He knew if he went out instead of staying in he would be teased. He would get called soft and whipped. While Katsuki didn't mind that because he knew he could easily yell out a few cursers and threats and shut them up, he didn't feel like dealing with his friend's nosy attitude towards his relationship.
It was between you and him, not them.
Every laugh you let out could be heard, every string of giggles, every time you called someone's name. It infuriated him. Those extras didn't have the right to talk to his girlfriend. You were far too beautiful, far too nice, and good to be conversing with them. Your attention would have been better consumed with him. You should've stayed inside, you should be studying with him–he wouldn't have beat the knowledge inside you like he had done to Eijirou either. You would be been laughing with him, you could be drinking homemade hot chocolate, you could be sitting in his lap as he explained the math problem, semi-polite, and maybe, he might have even let you take a break to watch a Christmas movie.
With another giggle, Katsuki broke away from his math book to turn his gaze out the window. He was really angry now. Dumb Deku got it somewhere in his head he could make a snowman with you. He got it in his dumb little brain that he could try to make you laugh. He was even more infuriated as he saw you take your scarf off to dress the snowman. Your nose soon turned red, you'd get sick soon if you stayed out like that. An intrusive thought entered Katsuki, one worse than the angry and infuriated ones. This was a ploy made by Deku so he could give you his own scarf, that's exactly the kind of thing a shit-munch like Deku would do to try and woo what wasn't his. No way in fucking hell was Katsuki letting that happen.
Like everything Katsuki did, with a scowl on his face, he slammed his book closed and stomped his way over to the closet to grab his snow boots and jacket. Quickly, he zipped up his jacket and tied his boats before grabbing his hat. Now dressed in proper snow attire, he snagged his extra scarf to bring to you. The things he did for his dumbass.
He was fast to exit the building and faster to march up to you. He wrapped the scarf around your neck and double tied it. Practically choking you in the process, he wrapped it up and tucked it in your coat as a mother would.
"Dummy, you're gonna get sick by giving your scarf away. You're lucky you've got a nice boyfriend to bring you one of his own."
"The snowman needed it more than I did, right Deku?"
"Dumb-Deku better shut his fucking mouth before I blow it up!"
"Well, if it isn't my favorite idiot from class 1-A!"
Neito Monomas voice entered your ears and Katsuki could feel his day just getting worse. First, you left him for the extras, then you distracted him, now he had to deal with that Tuxedo Mask wannabe from class 1-B?
"The fuck did you say, kazoo kid?!"
"Nothing, I'm just saying..."
Maybe Neito would have let it go with just a petty comment, but Itsuka Kendo wasn't anywhere insight to hear and scold him, she really did keep him inline. Something about Katsuki just rubbed Neito the wrong way. Then again, everyone in class 1-A seemed to rub him the wrong way.
"I'm just saying, figures class 1-A's weak-link would spend her snow day making a snowman–an ugly one at that–rather than studying."
Katsuki tried to calm himself down as you grabbed onto his hand and shook your head back and forth as if to say he wasn't worth it. He wasn't worth it, he was just a waste of time. Katsuki came out here with a mission, give you his scarf, persuade you to come back inside with the promise of cuddles, and maybe even insult Deku along the way. He had a mission set in his mind, and he wasn't going to let the cosplayer ken doll get in his way.
Neito wasn't happy with that result. He liked getting a rise out of class 1-A. He liked getting them upset and worked up, especially Katsuki, who got worked up the most. What better way to get a rise than through his girlfriend? Neito kicked the snowman down, crumbling the snowman down to a pile of snow with a grin.
"Even her snowman is weak, just like her. Pathetic class 1-A loser."
"You wanna see weak? I'll show you weak!"
Neito simply wanted a reaction, he thought one of Katsuki's friends, like Mina, or the class representative, Tenya, would've stepped. As your eyes glossed over with tears your classmates stood back and let Katsuki go feral. With explosions surrounding him, Katsuki sent himself flying towards Neito with outstretched arms. Sending explosion after explosion, careful not to get touched by Neito. Neito, gave up fruitless, cowering back with each pound after pound, whimper after whimper. With his hand on the cuff of his jacket, Katsuki raised him and dragged him to you.
"Fucking apologize or DIE!."
"I-I'm sorry."
"Talk shit about her or her skills again and I'll make sure you can't speak again!"
He released Neito on the ground and he fell with a thud. The blonde boy scrambled to his feet and took off in the direction of the 1-B dorms. He turned to back at you and screamed.
"I'm only sorry your boyfriends a psychopath!"
"That little shit-"
"Katsuki, no."
You threw yourself on him and wrapped your arms around Katsuki, pulling yourselves together as a few stray tears leaked from your eyes. Katsuki scowled as his classmates watched him, intrigued on how their mean and rough classmate would handle comforting their sweet and soft classmate. Your relationship was such an enigma to them.
"The fuck are all of you staring at!?"
Everyone watching the fight disbursed as you pulled away from your boyfriend, red embarrassment on your cheeks, still you latched yourself onto Katsuki's arm. Tears were in your eyes as your attention went back over to your ruined snowman. You worked hard with Deku to make that, maybe you were the weak link.
"Do you think Monoma's right? Should I have stayed inside and studied?"
"Should you have stayed inside with me and had a study date, like I originally wanted? Yes. Should you have stayed inside because you're weak? Fuck, no. Fuck that class A wannabe."
"He was right, and he blew my snowman right over."
"You're such a crybaby. The only reason it got wrecked is because that dumb-dumb Deku helped you make it. Maybe if I had helped you it would have withstood better."
Katsuki placed a chaste kiss on your forehead before pushing down your hat which had begun to fall off. He pulled it over your ears as he clicked his tongue. You would be sick and lost without him, he did such a good job taking care of you.
"I suppose studying can wait. Besides, if we wait I can make shitty hair and dunce face study with us, I'll beat it in them."
Katsuki grabbed your hand and pulled you down into the snow with him. A rare smile graced his face as you giggled at him.
"I'll help you make another snowman, but you gotta do exactly what I say, and shitty Deku can't help."
"Okay, but you gotta make us hot chocolate after. Your hot chocolate always tastes the best."
"Fine. Someone's gotta make you something warm, and we both know you can't do it yourself."
With another kiss to your face, Katsuki felt content. He supposed he got what he really wanted. Whether it was studying or not, he had your attention. He got to insult Deku and he got his frustrations out. Maybe snow days weren't so bad.
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slade-neko · 3 years ago
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Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.
1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.
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2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?
3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.
4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.
5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}
6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)
7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!
8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)
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9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.
10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.
11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.
12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.
13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.
14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.
15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.
16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.
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17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.
18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.
19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.
20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.
21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.
22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.
23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead
24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green
25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.
26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.
27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!
28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.
29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.
30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.
31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.
32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!
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33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)
34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.
35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.
36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.
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37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.
38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4
39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!
40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.
41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.
42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.
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43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.
44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.
45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!
46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.
47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.
48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.
49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.
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50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.
51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.
52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.
53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.
54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.
55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.
56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.
57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.
58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.
59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.
60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?
61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.
62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.
63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.
64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.
65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"
66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.
67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)
68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.
69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas
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70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.
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Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.
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sillyrabbit81 · 4 years ago
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Her Heavy Cross
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Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?
Pairing: OMC x OFC
Word Count: approx 2.7k
Warnings: swearing, angst, drunk, motion of death
Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.
Part 2 Part 4
Part 3
In less than ten minutes, we had pulled up to Liam's house. Liam paid for the taxi too. I kind of argued this time, but he pointed out he asked me to his house. I didn't get too stubborn about it.
Liam was living in a four-story terrace house, recently renovated by the looks of it. It was painted white with black wrought iron lacework, and it was beautiful. The front door and windows were painted black. It appeared to be the twin of the house that shared its wall.
We entered through the dining room, and I realised it was actually the two houses renovated together. The inside was modern with original heritage touches. The floors were light timber, and the walls were white. The ceilings had plaster and cornice so beautifully ornate that restoration must have taken ages. The room had an imposing black marble fireplace and a deep brown, almost black wooden dining table set on a grey shag rug in the room's centre. A huge abstract painting of bright pinks, greens and grey hung on the wall.
"Wow, this must have cost a mint!" I quickly covered my mouth. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."
"It's ok. I was pleasantly surprised by the house too. The studio got the house for me I...." Liam was interrupted by a massive dog bounding into the room.
Liam got down and roughhoused with the dog for a bit. Wow, he was a monster! I'd seen a picture of Cole before that "Will" had sent me, but I wasn't quite prepared for how big he was. He was almost completely black with some brown above his eyes and ears. His paws were brown too, and his belly was grey. He wasn't any particular breed, apparently a rescue dog. I thought of my bull terrier cross cattle dog at home. This dog would eat him for breakfast, and Perrin wasn't small.
Cole's pink tongue lolled, and he panted as Liam moved from side to side. Cole imitated Liam's actions jumping about. He barked a couple of times as he got excited by the play. The noise reverberated through the quiet house.
"Shhh, Cole, people are sleeping." Liam softly admonished. Then his voice became stern. "Sit," he ordered before patting him. Liam looked at me and said, "Lana, this is Cole. Cole, Lana."
"Hi, Cole. You're much bigger in person." I could hear the slight tremor in my voice. Liam must have sensed I was nervous and came over to stand near me. Cole padded over and sniffed at me. Gingerly, I put my hand by my side and let him approach me. Cole nuzzled my hand, and I gave him a pat on the side of his neck. I let out a sigh of relief.
"I was worried he wouldn't like me. I love dogs but always get nervous around new ones." Liam put his head to the side, asking a silent question. "I had a dingo go me one time, and I've never really gotten over it." I squatted down and gave Cole more pats. "I think this guy is ok, though."
"Yeah, he's a good boy. How is Perrin, by the way?"
"He's ok." I sighed, "he's just old. The poor little guy can't get onto my bed anymore and sleeps in my lounge room now. I kinda miss it, but I have slept a bit better."
Liam gave Cole some more pats and told him to go sit. "Come on. I'll make you a tea or coffee if you'd like." I agreed a coffee would be perfect right now. I needed something to sober me up.
I sat at the kitchen bench while Liam made coffees. Cole sat by my stool, and I patted his head while watching Liam. Liam had kicked off his shoes and was walking around in his bare feet. It was amazing to see him so much more relaxed here than while we were out. He really did appear to enjoy being at home.
As Liam made our coffee, he moved with a grace that surprised me. His movements seemed economical and rigid but hinted at the power beneath them. He seemed coiled and ready to explode at any moment. It was like he was dancing the pasodoble, his body moving to an invisible beat. Images of Strictly Ballroom came into my mind, and I found myself humming Love is in the Air. I was drunker than I thought.
When Liam was done, he led me over to his large L shaped lounge, and I sat. Liam flopped down next to me, casually laying back and popped his feet up on the coffee table. Cole sat on a mat that was clearly his.
I sipped my coffee, not knowing what else to do. Suddenly the quiet between Liam and I felt awkward.
Liam and I spoke at the same time, "What.." "So..."
We both laughed. Liam indicated I should proceed. "Well, I was going to ask what brought you out to Sydney, for real, not the Will answer."
"A new project. I'm going to be filming a television show." Liam proceeded to tell me about his project, working with some people from Netflix on a fantasy/sci-fi series adaptation. He was so animated when telling me that it was obvious that he loved his job.
It would be his first television series and was to be more romance heavy than anything he had done in years. Liam explained that he is filming here because the story was written and developed in Australia. "If it works out, I'll probably be based out of Australia for the next few years. I'll go home to England for a few months during breaks, maybe do some small film roles. It's hard with Cole, though, because every trip into Australia means 10 days quarantine for him."
"Oh yeah, and you don't want a Pistol and Boo situation." Liam looked confused, and I explained about Amber Heard and Johnny Depp smuggling their dogs into Australia.
"I thought you said you don't follow celebrity gossip."
"I don't, but that was big news, hilarious really. It was on every bit of media in Australia, and then they had to make this cringe video apology. I almost felt bad for them." Then I yawned, suddenly all the alcohol had lost its buzz, and I was just tired. "The coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. What time is it?"
Liam looked at his watch, "11.30."
"Yeah, it's late. I should get home. I don't want to turn into a pumpkin." I cringed. Fuck.
"You don't have to go. You could stay here." I raised my eyebrows. "I do have more than one bed if that's what you want." Liam leaned over to me and placed a hand on my cheek, rubbing his thumb against my skin.
I looked at my nearly empty coffee mug. I swirled the dregs around the bottom as if it were tea leaves, and they would tell me what to do. "I don't want to go home yet, but I don't want to go too fast, either."
"That's ok."
I didn't move. I wanted to stay. Ten years ago, I would have stayed, but Andy's face flashed into my thoughts. I knew it was ridiculous. Andy had been gone for over three years now. But every time I even contemplated being with someone, I couldn't stop thinking about him.
Liam was waiting for an answer, but I didn't know what to tell him. 'It's not you, it's me' is such a tired cliche, but sometimes it's true.
"Lana, it's ok. If you want to go home, that's absolutely fine. I'll even call you an Uber."
I felt my eyes sting, and I looked away from Liam. My bloody traitorous tear ducts giving me away. I shouldn't have drunk so much. Alcohol always makes me emotional.
"Fuck." I swore under my breath. I angrily wiped at my eyes, thankful I had used waterproof mascara. My eyeliner was a different story, though, and black streaked my fingers. I asked Liam where his bathroom was, and I got up, only half listening to his directions. I found it quickly. It was only through the doorway into a little enclave with a powder room, stairs and a lift. What kind of bloody house has a lift?
I closed the door and sat on the toilet seat. I knew enough not to try to stop the tears, so I just let them go. Bloody hell, Andy. Why did he fucking have to leave me? Why the fuck did you have to fucking die. Goddammit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I do this to Andy? I wanted to scream, to punch something, to throw something. I needed another cigarette. Fuck you, Andy. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck Liam.
As I always did when I thought of Andy, I remembered the last time I saw him. His sweet face looked down at me as he kissed me goodbye. His deep brown hair fell like a curtain around us, hiding our kiss from the world. Cheekily I had slipped my tongue into his mouth, and he had groaned as he pulled away. He told me to save it for when he got back and would be as quick as he could be. I had thanked him for filling in for me. He winked and said to thank him later. Then he left.
When I was able to, I started to take deep breaths. In through my nose, out through my mouth. I could feel the tightness in my chest slowly ease. Breathing became more comfortable, and the tears stopped. I looked at my hands, and I was able to release the fists I was making. My nails hadn't broken the skin this time, but small red crescents remained etched into my palms.
I waited a few minutes longer to make sure the moment had passed. It wasn't Andy's fault he died, and I knew that. It's also not my fault that I wanted someone to love again. Sleeping with someone other than Andy felt like crossing the Rubicon, no going back.
The fact was there is no going back, no Andy to go back to, even if I wanted. In my head, it still felt like a betrayal. But it wasn't. And Liam wasn't just anybody. He was a guy I had spent weeks talking to, getting to know, and although he looks different, he is still acting as I had expected. I saw a potential future here. Did I really want to let my past ruin it?
I cleared my throat and stood up, preparing myself to see the horror that looked back at me. Ugh, it wasn't great. My eyeliner had given me panda eyes, and the tears had created streaks down my cheeks.
Getting a tissue and blew my nose, and decided there was nothing else for it, I washed my makeup off my face. I avoided washing my eye makeup off though, that was a mess I just didn't have the products for, so I just wiped under my eyes and cleaned it up. I binned my tissues, washed my hands, took a few more deep breaths and prepared myself to face Liam.
I opened the door and walked straight into something solid that made me bounce back into the bathroom like a tennis ball. Hands caught me before I hit the floor, and I found myself in Liam's arms.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" He asked.
"No," I was flustered again. I spent all that time calming down to just be in a state two seconds later. "I just didn't expect you to be outside the door. Jesus, you're like a brick shit house."
Liam didn't laugh. "I was worried about you."
"I'm fine," I lied.
Liam didn't look convinced. He let me go and ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not right now."
Liam nodded. "I'll get you that Uber." He pulled his phone out.
That's it then. All in all, it wasn't the worst date I'd been on since Andy died. Actually, it was probably the best. Liam, at least, was a guy I was attracted to and didn't appear to be a man child. He seemed to like me, even when I cried over another man. Although I doubt Liam knew that's why I was crying. I had told him I was married before and he had died, but that was only once and a long time ago, and we hadn't discussed it again.
The tears had done their job, and a calmness came over me now. I had said goodbye to Andy, and I was ready to take that last step to move on. That was why I started to date again; to open my heart, I was ready.
I put my hand on Liam's wrist, "if you still want me to, I'd like to stay."
"Are you sure? I probably shouldn't have asked in the first place. I let my other head think for me." Though I laughed at his candid admission, Liam's face was serious. "I'm not joking. I want you, and I didn't think about how you must be feeling. The whole fake profile thing must still be weighing on your mind. And all of the other problems that go along with being with me. You should have more time to think about it."
And my dead husband, let's not forget that. I didn't say that out loud, thank God. "I will have time to think about it. But right now, I want..." Shit. I've gone shy again. Just fucking tell him you want him too! "I mean, can't we just have a bit of a cuddle and a snog?"
Liam's lips twitched as he tried to suppress a smile, "a cuddle and a snog?"
I nodded.
Smiling, Liam put his phone back in his pocket. "I think I can arrange that."
Without further warning, Liam grabbed my wrists in one hand and pinned them to the wall above my head. His other hand snaked around my waist, holding me to him, his hips rolling into mine. His eyes were fierce and focused on mine. I  closed my eyes, the sensations too much, and my breath quickened.
I heard Liam say through gritted teeth, "It's taken everything I had not to do this to you since I saw you at the bar. I wanted to take you then and there." His voice seemed to ease, the words coming easier for him. "You don't know how much I've wanted to touch you. To know you are real." Then he whispered, "and you are. Real. You're as beautiful tonight as you were in your pictures."
I opened my eyes and found Liam staring at me, and his intensity was nearly frightening. He pulled me tighter against himself, his fingertips digging into me while he crushed me against his body. I felt his hardness against my hip, and I couldn't stop myself from rubbing against it. This time Liam closed his eyes, and I felt the rush of blood to my centre.
Liam opened his eyes, desire naked on his face, "Kiss me," he said.
I met his soft and warm lips. I felt Liam's groan rumble in his vast chest, and kissing him again, my lips scraped against his whiskers. Liam kissed me back now. His tongue pushed past my lips, and found mine. His tongue playfully danced in my mouth. Liam's hand left my arse and started to feel my hips, my waist and then my breasts. He cupped them and gently squeezed. My breath caught as his hand skimmed past my nipple. His palm created friction against the lace of my bra, and tingles radiated through my body.
His lips left mine and went to my neck. He kissed and sucked at me, moving down to the top of my breasts. I heard him take a deep breath into my chest as his cheeks rubbed against my skin. His kisses became harder against my chest and moved back up to my neck, his teeth nipping at me as he went. Even though he had me captured, I wriggled against him, my hips moved uncontrollably, my breath uneven and weak.
Liam pulled away, still firmly gripping one of my hands. "Come with me." Liam led me to the lift.
"Where are we going?"
"To my bedroom." I pulled against him, forcing him to stop. "Sweetheart, I promise I won't fuck you until you ask."
My legs turned to jelly. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg despite my reservations. I nodded and followed Liam into the lift.
Part 4
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undead-tale · 4 years ago
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Little Known Fact
There was an original version of Undead Tale I wrote back in 2017 or even late 2016 (the dates are fuzzy at best).
It was completely different in tone, writing, character designs, plot... it was basically a different story but with a similar starting point.
I felt like drawing the Sans design from that version, now called "Classic", compared to the final design, or the "True" design, as I consider the current version of Undead Tale the true, final version.
Here is the drawing, and below that will be a list of all the changes and descriptions of the differences behind a read more as to keep the post nice to see if someone just wants to look at the art (the stuff below the read more goes very in depth, be warned, it's long).
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Let's start from the beginning with what changed:
Both stories start with an outbreak stemming from the lab, however,
Classic does not have the backstory of a corrupted reset corrupting the amalgamates and determinations properties. The origins in Classic were never explored.
In the True version, the origins were explored, and the reason why the world is the way it is is also explored through Before the Reset.
In Classic, Undyne fights a massive amalgamate thing in the Lab in the very beginning of the story instead of slowly easing into the events of the outbreak, which True did.
Chara was never present in Classic, and also there was no controlling force of the corrupted.
Corrupted is a term only in True, Classic doesn't have a term to refer to the infected monsters.
Both stories have Frisk fall after the initial outbreak, but Frisk in Classic falls way earlier than Frisk in True (as far as I can see, the timeline of Classic, unfortunately, is not very clear)
Classic explores the surface and humanity above during the events of the Underground. In True, the surface is only seen when Frisk falls and after monster kind escapes. Humanity in True wiped itself out with a war where the details aren't known, and won't be explored, as it's not important. In Classic, there is an outbreak similar to the Underground on the surface which causes an apocalypse.
Both stories have Sans lose an eye, though, as seen in the image, the eye is swapped. Beyond that, there are differences in the two Sans.
Classic Sans is a silently hopeful character, different from normal Sans compared to True, who is basically normal Sans but with some darker tendencies and visions of past timelines (called moments in the story).
Classic Sans lost most if not all magic ability when he was struck by Undyne, resorting to using physical weapons such as pipes or any blunt weapon.
True Sans retains most magic ability, such as teleportation, time stopping, and bones, he just can't use them as often. He does lose Gaster Blasters however, as they would take too much magical energy for him to muster normally.
Classic's outfit has a fluffy hood and a zipped up, torn hoodie, compared to True, who is normal Sans with bandages wrapped around the left side of his skull.
Classic only lost his eye, True had the whole left side of his skull horribly mangled and fractured, which is why the bandage size of both is different.
Classic only has the bandage, True also has the device strapped to his ribs that connects with his soul to amplify the healing process.
True Sans has what are called "moments", where he'll freeze up as he sees a vision of a past timeline, either consisting of the Judgement Hall or of Snowdin which get worse until reaching a turning point in the story near the halfway point. Classic has no such things.
Moving on from Sans, let's go into the other characters in general
Papyrus in Classic retains some confidence, however, he is much more broken and emotionally torn, acting out of character at points (pretty much everyone in Classic is out of character).
True Papyrus is very much like normal Papyrus, only taking things a bit more seriously and being more cautious and concerned for his friends, due to his circumstances.
Classic Papyrus has a kill count of normal monsters, True, however, does not.
Classic Papyrus and Snowdin in general are enemies of the Royal Guard, due to a plot point where Snowdin and the Royal Guard enter a conflict.
True Papyrus and Snowdin are very much allies and apart of the Royal Guard, Papyrus being ranked Lieutenant, commanding all Snowdin units.
Undyne in Classic acts very out of character with the little time she appeared in, she isn't as confident, she's a lot more cold, and attacks Sans with intent to kill.
True Undyne is like normal Undyne, and her attack against Sans was completely accidental, as she meant to attack another character named Fang for kidnapping Sans and Papyrus.
Papyrus and Undyne fight with the intent of killing one another in Classic. In True, Papyrus fights to slow Undyne down and let Sans and Frisk escapes, Undyne fights to get past him and capture/kill Frisk, attempting to pass him with every opportunity, not wanting to hurt him. In True, neither were fighting to kill.
Classic Undyne exiles herself out of shame after her battle with Papyrus in Snowdin. True Undyne remains the Captain of the Royal Guard throughout the entire story.
Classic Asgore is seen too little to really judge his character, same for Alphys. True is normal Asgore but affected by circumstances, again, same for Alphys.
Mettaton in Classic is missing, while Mettaton in True is similar to his normal self, albeit more cruel and harsh when Frisk meets him, becoming a minor antagonist before having a change of heart at the end of their fight in the CORE.
Mettaton's disappearance in Classic would've tied into a plot point, which I'll explore later on.
Classic Toriel allows monsters from Snowdin into the Ruins during the outbreak, accidentally bringing it to the Ruins. No such event happens in True.
Classic Toriel is the most in character of the cast, remaining mostly consistent with normal Toriel. True Toriel is normal Toriel until she leaves the Ruins, where circumstances and events change her.
Classic Flowey is infected very early on, True Flowey remains uninfected and even becomes the controller of the corrupted near the end. In True, he is very much normal Flowey.
Classic Frisk is more like fanon Frisk (meaning she's just a soft little pacifist who wouldn't harm a fly. Glad I didn't continue with this in True, because holy hell that would've been boring).
True Frisk is much more of her own character, she doesn't want to hurt anyone, but she won't hesitate to fight when she knows she's in danger, plus her backstory and her motivations, along with having to deal with the trauma's shes faced later on.
True Frisk also older, being 10 when she first falls and being around 13 at the end. Classic Frisk is around 8 when she falls, if I remember right.
Classic didn't go far enough into the plot for Classic Frisk to even leave the Ruins or have to face inner demons and trauma. True Frisk is very, very different.
Classic Chara doesn't even exist. True Chara is corrupted determination in it's purest form, and is a prominent antagonist, controlling the corrupted at one point.
There are characters exclusive to both version. In True, Fang, Ferno, and the entire gang Fang leads are exclusive to True.
In Classic, the exclusive characters are Artico, Stitch, Rycher (pronounced ri ker for some reason), Carly (Artico's daughter) and Ethan (Artico's son). These characters were a part of a spinoff story called "A New Monarch", which was establishing a new kingdom/rival for the Royal Guard. They would've been antagonists later on, similar to the Saviors from The Walking Dead, if memory serves me right.
Rycher and Stitch would've had been in a relationship later on.
Another exclusive character to Classic is Flynn, who is the third monster Frisk meets after Flowey and Toriel (he was an OC I made on Undertale Amino years ago, my account on which has since been deleted)
There is one more Classic exclusive character named Charlie. I go more in depth on him later.
There are more Classic exclusive characters, but they're not notable enough to go into here.
Finally moving on from characters, we go onto the plot/setting
The basic plot of Classic goes like this (I won't do the same for True, as that is very, very long, and I'd like people to read it on AO3):
The outbreak begins, Asgore is escorted from the Capital as it falls. Sans and Papyrus fight back an attack from Snowdin, and set up defenses.
A plot point arises where the weather in Snowdin becomes harsh, to the point where monsters die outside the village or flee to the Ruins. One of the monsters is bit before hand, and brings the infection into the Ruins, infecting Flowey and beginning to spread there.
Members of the Snowdin Safe Zone steal from the Royal Guard, which causes the Guard to retaliate against Snowdin and assault the town, Sans and Papyrus fighting them back, killing many. This is the fight where Sans is almost killed by Undyne, who is then almost killed by Papyrus before he rushes to get Sans to the village.
Sans loses his eye, and Undyne exiles herself.
Frisk falls later on, almost get's killed by Flowey, but is saved and taken home by Toriel. This introduces the fact that Toriel's home is now full of monster survivors and that the rest of the Ruins has fallen.
Frisk takes time to heal, and meets Flynn.
In the Capital, within areas known as "Dark Zones" (pretty much ripping off Dying Light), new infected begin appearing simply known as "Them". This leads to the death of two monsters in a short story titled "Them". In True, these would be turned into the acolytes that appear at the end.
Sans and Papyrus receive a broadcast from MTT Resort begging for help, and decide to investigate. They then go to sleep on their way, and are split up, Sans being taken to the Capital while Papyrus is captured and brought to MTT Resort (don't ask, I don't remember why or how).
Sans wakes up in the Capital on a high up roof and encounters a character named Charlie, who brings him to his group in the city hall. He teaches Sans how to survive in the capital later on.
Papyrus wakes up in MTT Resort, hung in the lobby by a rope around his neck with infected all around. He is saved by a stranger on a walkie talkie who begins to tell him what happened. He then tells Papyrus about a mysterious monster who will kill him upon sight, and then tells Papyrus to flee. Papyrus does so and returns to Snowdin.
Stitch and Rycher are brought to the cavern where the new kingdom is by Artico, meeting all the other characters listed in the "A New Monarch" section.
On the surface, an outbreak occurs (somehow, I don't remember), and soldiers move in to the city near Mount Ebott, called Sanctuary City, to save a doctor. The doctor kills himself (ripping off State of Decay: Lifeline).
Scrapped plot lines include:
Disclaimer: The details are very fuzzy at best with this, unknown/forgotten at worst
Mettaton Madness: An event where a group of monsters from Waterfall would have to contend with an army of defective Mettaton drones in the CORE. I don't remember much else about this. Maybe Mettaton would be involved? I don't know.
A plotline on the surface where a city is burning down and being pelted by meteorites or missiles (I don't remember) and a group of survivors have to escape.
Papyrus would die at some point, due to being bit. Sans would put him down. This would happen after Frisk left the Ruins.
Snowdin would fall at some point.
Undyne would have her own story about finding herself or something, I don't know, but I know I wanted to do something with her at one point.
The New Monarch and the Royal Guard would get into some conflict, maybe.
More characters would die I think, and maybe Soriel would be canon? I genuinely don't know and I don't remember. Like I said, everything about this section is fuzzy, as I didn't take notes and I don't remember half of this story anymore.
That's pretty much it.
These two stories are very, very different. If you want to know just how the True version goes, please check out the link to it on AO3. It's long, and it's actually finished compared to Classic, which is not publicly available now, but I might change that in the future. Classic won't be expanded on, and I won't write anything for it ever again. I'm not sure if I'll abandon it entirely, as I could still draw the characters from it, but in all likely hood it'll be forgotten.
True is a much better and more well written story anyway. Classic was just edgy and ripped off so many other zombie stories, and even other Undertale AU's, since it was slightly inspired by Axetale (I saw one video of it, really glad I didn't take many elements from that dumpster fire of an AU) and other fanon edgy content.
Overall, I'm proud of what I've done with the True story and I'm ecstatic to have gotten it finished and released, having people actually read it is so much fun.
I just felt like going into how Undead Tale really started, and the origins it had as an edgy Undertale story I wrote in 2016 - 2017 that really doesn't hold up at all anymore.
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shoujocentral · 5 years ago
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Symphogear S1- Now this is MY kind of anime!
Every once and awhile when I'd log onto Twitter, I'd see people saying "watch Symphogear" accompanied by images from the show. From looking at the pictures, I assumed it was just another magical girl show like Precure but with less magic and more... techno. Oh, and apparently they sing while they fight? Sounds kinda dumb...
Buuuut... I have heard that there's some yuri content? Maybe I'll give it a try. I mean, I'm always open to watching new stuff, even if it's just a silly little kid's show 😅
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😳
Well........ color me hooked.
I have to say, this show is not at all what I was expecting in the best possible way. It feels a lot more like a Shounen action show along the lines of Fullmetal Alchemist or Neon Genesis Evangelion than a Magical Girl show (if that's even what it's supposed to be). Today, I'm going to be giving my first impressions of Senki Zesshou Symphogear season 1, which will be spoiler free for anyone who hasn't seen it yet.
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Plot:
So what is Senki Zesshou Symphogear about?
In the not too distant future (next Sunday A.D.), Japan is under attack by monsters known as Noises, the likes of which cannot be killed by military weapons. The only thing that can kill them are girls clad in weaponized armor known as Gears, which is activated and powered by singing catchy techno-pop music.
One day, a girl named Hibiki Tachibana is caught in the middle of a battle, and one of the Gear users, Kanade Amou, sacrifices herself to save her. Two years later, Hibiki discovers that a piece of Kanade's Gear was embedded in her chest during the fight, giving her access to the Gear's powers. Hibiki is recruited by the Disaster Relief Squadron, the organization that created the Gears, to help defend Japan from the Noises.
However, Kanade's former girlfriend partner, Tsubasa Kazanari, sees Hibiki as nothing more than an obnoxious, naive girl trying to be Kanade's replacement. Will the two learn to work together, defeat the Noises, and possibly uncover a deeper plot to all the attacks?
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Symphogear's plot might not be the most original thing ever; evil monsters attack, teenage girls transform into superpowered warriors to fight them, evil mastermind tries to take over the world, etc. But what makes this story stand out is it's unique approach to the fights. Having the Gears be powered by music, resulting in every fight being accompanied by a song, is either a genius way to amplify the fights, or a genius way for the producers to sell a techno soundtrack.
I was worried that the constant use of insert songs would become repetitive and annoying, but on the contrary, they heightened my enjoyment! The fights in Symphogear are easily my favorite part of the show: fast-paced, badass powers, lots of screaming, and downright brutal at times! Hibiki has officially joined the ranks of my all-time favorite battle cries, right up there with Goku from DBZ and Souma from Kannazuki no Miko.
If there was one thing I had to nitpick, it would be that most of the fights take away the credibility of the Noises. They're supposed to be this terrifying threat to Japan that can't be harmed by the military, but as soon as the Gear wielders show up, they're reduced to nothing more than cannon fodder as Hibiki and her comrades seem to waltz through them without breaking a sweat.
Thankfully, the versus matches between Gear wielders are much more balanced. My favorite has to be Hibiki vs Chris (see above), but then again, any fight with Chris is an absolute win!
Characters:
Hibiki Tachibana
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Hibiki is your typical genki girl protagonist: optimistic, hyperactive, naive, and pure. What makes her a more compelling hero, however, is her slow growth into becoming a strong Gear wielder. Unlike most magical girl protagonists, who seem to master their powers after one line of "EH?! What just happened to me?!", Hibiki takes time to learn how to fight. She starts out with the mindset that she has to be Kanade's replacement and thus tries to fight just like her. However, she eventually comes to invent her own battle tactics that work much more in her favor. Mainly, punching the everloving shit out of everything in sight.
Hibiki is, in my opinion, a flat character done right. She doesn't go through any personal growth or development throughout the show (learning to fight doesn't count), but her belief that all humans can get along if they communicate and desire to protect people just because she wants to is the cause for most of the change in the people around her. The world is in a dark place, and Hibiki is the light. She doesn't need to change, because she's exactly what the world needs.
Tsubasa Kazanari
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From what I've learned, Tsubasa is a favorite amongst Symphogear fans. Me personally, though, I have a few issues with her character. Now, I have nothing against brooding, damaged characters. In fact, Tsubasa's recovery from Kanade's death and learning to cherish her own life was incredibly engaging... for the most part. Sorry, but I can only take so much edge. Her constant repitition of "I am a sword, I exist only to fight" grew old after the first 10 or so times.
Also, while I love her overall development, I feel that her acceptance of Hibiki was a little rushed. For the first four episodes, she hates Hibiki for carrying Kanade's Gear to the point where she tries to fight her to the death. Then, after another fight sends her into a coma, she has a (extremely gay) hallucination of Kanade telling her to get over herself. Next episode, she's treating Hibiki as if they've been friends the whole time. Did I miss something? Did Hibiki even apologize for saying she wanted to replace Kanade? Did Tsubasa apologize for trying to shishkabob her?!
Development aside, her fighting style is awesome and unique, and leads to the best choreography in the show. Hopefully as I watch more seasons, my opinion of her will improve.
Chris Yukine
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Best Girl. No questions. Anyone who disagrees is wrong. Deal with it.
Jokes aside, Chris is my favorite character of the show bar none. Maybe I just have a weakness for evil-turned-good characters, but I adored her "don't take no shit from nobody" attitude and her soft side emerging as the show progressed. And let me tell you, Tsubasa would have no right to brood if she knew what Chris went through as a child. I won't give anything away, but just a few brief images and harsh words were enough get the picture across and tug at my heartstrings.
She also had my favorite Gear and fighting style in the show. If there's one thing that always gets my blood pumping, it's gatling guns and an endless supply of missiles. Seriously, I could watch this girl fight for hours.
Kanade Amou
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A moment of silence, ladies and gentlemen.
......
Kanade would be my favorite character if we had gotten more of her. But alas, she has to die in the very first episode. DAMN YOU, PLOT!!!
Even though we get very little of Kanade, she makes it her mission to leave a lasting impression. Her sacrifice at the beginning sets the tone for the rest of the show, and her flashback is the best of the bunch. I got hard chills when she transformed for the first time. Let's just say she's psychotic in all the right ways.
Kanade died for our sins. Remember that... 🙏
Finé
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Our main villain of the show. That's it. There's really nothing much else to her. She's cruel, manipulative, and powerful beyond belief, as most big bosses of these kinds of shows are. She was honestly my least favorite part of the show.
Fine's motivation is incredibly confusing on first watch. I had to go back to pause and read the subtitles multiple times to understand her backstory, but maybe that's my fault for being a slow reader. On the other hand, the explanation as to who she is and why she's so powerful comes right out of nowhere and doesn't seem to connect to anything the story had been building up to that point. Also, by the time I understood her motivation and actually found it a little intriguing, she dropped the dreaded "I'm going to take over the world" line. Aaaaand.... all my interest just went out the window.
There is a twist involving her connection to a certain other character in the show that I genuinely didn't see coming, but in the end, it wasn't nearly enough to make up for her shortcomings.
Miku Kohinata
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God bless this little angel. Miku is a precious cinnamon roll who must be protected at all costs. Thankfully, Hibiki's got it covered 👍
Words cannot express how much I love this girl. She may be only a supporting role for the time being, but good lord, does she support! It always broke my heart whenever she tried to spend time with Hibiki or talk to her, but the Disaster Relief Squad kept pulling them apart. I know DRS is classified, but Miku deserves better than to have secrets kept from her! Life sucks when your girlfriend best friend is a superhero...
Well, that was a mouthful. There's a lot more characters in this show, but I don't really have much to say about them. However, while we're on the subject of Miku, let's move on to the reason I checked this show out in the first place, and the reason I'm sure most of you read my stuff.
Yuri:
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No sooner did I finish this show did I start looking up HibiMiku fanart 😍
I was expecting a fair dosage of yuribait going into Symphogear, but mother of all that is gay, did I get an overdose!
First and foremost, the main ship: HibiMiku. These two are dating. Nothing anyone says will change my mind. They compliment each other perfectly, with Hibiki's energy and Miku's sweetness... HHNNNGGH! IT'S TOO PRECIOUS! I sincerely hope these two get more time together in the next few seasons. Now if only they'd stop with the damn F word...... 😡
Next up, TsubaKana. This one seems more like it was one-sided feelings on Tsubasa's part, judging by how dedicated Kanade was to fighting the Noise. Regardless, you don't just lose all sense of your humanity and self-worth after your "partner" dies. And all that hardcore blushing in the flashbacks and naked cuddling dream sequences... nah, Tsubasa was hella hot for Kanade. Sadly, our lord and savior was taken from Ms. Brooding too soon.
Finally, there's Ryoko Sakurai, the DRS's head scientist. She was initially hinted to be gay, what with her being all too eager to have Hibiki undress and wanting to "pop her cherry" (yes, an adult said that to a 15 year-old). However, after a certain conversation occurred, it seemed more like she was straight or at least bisexual, if all that dirty talk wasn't just teasing.
I've heard future seasons introduce more potential couples, so I'm keeping my eyes open and my yuri goggles on tight 😋
Conclusion:
I enjoyed the first season of Senki Zesshou Symphogear through and through. As someone who enjoyed Akanesasu Shoujo and Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka, I have a soft spot for shows about badass girls kicking monster ass and unleashing their inner yuri. Overall though, I think Symphogear might be my favorite of the bunch so far. It has its fair share of flaws, sure, but I think its positives outweigh the negatives by a long shot. If I got this much enjoyment out of the first season, I cannot wait to see what the following seasons have to offer!
Symphogear delivers a fun, action-packed story with colorful characters, kickass fight scenes, head-banging music and plenty of yuri content. Anyone who loves Magical Girls or Shounen battle shows needs to check it out!
Rating: 8/10
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go binge Symphogear G. See you next time, my fellow yuri lovers!
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