#i didn't sleep enough help | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pangur-and-grim · 26 days ago

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oh. I think my fears about Chiefcake passing from old age were more on point than I realized. she's acting very weak right now.

and it's late on a friday, when all the rabbit-specific vets have closed. I'll call around anyway to see if at home euthanasia is an option tonight.

#I didn't expect it to be this soon #she's been sleeping more and urinating outside of the litter box #so I was planning on getting her on arthritis meds to see if those helped her move around better #but tonight......I know how animals act when they're dying.#something has gone wrong inside her #god these things always happen at night when the vets have closed 💀#all I can do is stay with her and try to make her as comfortable as possible #this sucks #at least she still feels good enough to eat the apple slice I'm offering and tooth-purr while being stroked

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somegrumpynerd · 4 months ago

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Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

#UTDR #UTMV #Cross Sans #Killer Sans #Kross ship #(Kinda. It's up to interpretation)#Long post #I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to be THIS much #I started this like a week ago -A-#Lies down and lets out a long howl it's finisheeeeeed #I could have just drawn them spooning and written the rest but noooo I love to do things the hard way #Anyway I think they should be bed buddies #The company helps Cross relax enough to sleep and the touch helps knock Killer out #Cross has to be big spoon because otherwise Killer's soul gets squished and it's too uncomfortable to sleep #Also I realised Cross and Nightmare are the only two in the castle who didn't have knock knock jokes in their backstory #I like to imagine Nightmare has had similar confusing interactions with at least one of them #Cross probably spends the rest of the day panicked that he overstepped a boundary or the others will make fun of him #Not realising that Dust and Horror have fallen asleep together many times #Or that Killer hasn't slept properly in weeks and he's in heaven #I'm NOT drawing a follow up so just imagine Killer coming to Cross's room the next night and finding every excuse to stay #Because he wants it to happen again but he has no idea how to ask (and also Cross seems kinda awkward about it)#Absolutely terrified that I spent my whole week off working on this and it might be not that great so I hope at least one person likes this

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moonkhao · 3 months ago

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hi.

#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone #but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3 #it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere #like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july #which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault #i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY #anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like #flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation #i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D #and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen #it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold #(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all #like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love #ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place #anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls #and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE #he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual #i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now #i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3 #AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks #@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3

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neoyorzapoteca · 10 days ago

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playlist or no playlist I am losing my fucking mind, by the time I get my shit together and start feeling a tiny bit alright the sun starts going down and I am plunged into despair (and this is despite living in MEXICO)

#flashbacks to the utter irrational despair of a providence winter #this is nothing in comparison but #at least I had my housemates and campus and an art building or a library to go to and work even in the snowy dead of night #now it is me just me in my apartment with my post-pandemic agoraphobia and ghost of a social life and heartache #vacillating over whether or not to get my ass out of the house and go to a café to sit alone and work as if this were an actual problem #the actual problem is that I have been on the verge of an anxiety attack at all times and that is still not an actual problem #but I am struggling to focus and struggling to get anything done at all and there are so goddamn many things to get done #and I spent yesterday reading a pop neuroscience self-help book and taking notes like a maniac instead of working & now the sunday scaries #absolute dysfunction #nightmares every time I go to sleep #I am back to meditating and exercising and doing fucking affirmations and going to therapy and it helps it does but it's not enough #all of this awful shit from the past 10 years just flooding my subconscious day and night #and even just getting back into this thesis means facing the reasons I put it on hold in the first place and those were fucking dark days #just want to have a properly good day #just want to get this thing done and be able to focus on getting more paid work and get myself out of this hole #just need to get my entire fucking life together it's no big deal #just having a minor meltdown in the tags it's fine #it's just since the breakup & since the girls visited & for two brief moments I didn't feel alone – everything is hitting me inside and out #and it feels like I have no right to be this much of a mess when things could be so much worse on so many levels #when it comes down to it even with everything that's happened I still know I'm lucky – I'm alive I'm here I'm technically okay #and nevertheless

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hawkstincan · 5 months ago

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my rewatch got to season 8

#house md #screenshot #THERE WAS NO WAY I'M NOT POSTING AT LEAST ONE OKAY #my obsession never went away #and knowing me it never will #wentworth miller #and shit i just realized #are there coldflash fics with len under the sleeping beauty curse?...#i know there are with barry #and now i look at this screenshot and can't help thinking about 'hit by the sleeping curse' len #and rogues all go in what the fuck do we do now mode because len is their collective brain cell #most of the time #when it's not about the flash #anyway the brain cell #they need their brain cell #after a week they'll send lisa to team flash #and no one except for mick is suicidal enough to try the kissing thing #lisa tried too #to check if sibling's love will work #it didn't #to team flash it was #and honestly all the rogues were sure (and not very silent about it) that the flash should just kiss the boss #and release all of them from their misery #they had time to make their peace with the concept #they had working eyes and ears okay #team flash was in the same boat #as it appeared #or they were pissed and against it and tried to stop barry from helping #or lisa went to ask for 'len's cute csi friend's contact because she was sure len had hots for the guy #cisco and the flash almost choked on air for very different reasons

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icewindandboringhorror · 6 months ago

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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh #AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game #(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random #townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can #browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around #and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho #Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly #i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol #I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T #Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things #But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense #That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length #text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres #visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol #Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered #boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world #and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY #more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL #Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool #idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh #the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope #''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months #learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have #a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that #and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY

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lucyvaleheart · 1 month ago

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#jhhh I'm so fucking scared #im so exhausted and tired and i do not think i will pull this off #trying to move tomorrow and i. i have some help but #ii don't know if it's enough #I don't know if I've thought of everything in fact i know i haven't #and I'm so scared something I've missed is going to fuck me over #im trying so fucking hard I swear #i swear i swear i swear #ii just want this to work i just want something i do to finally work i #......i want help and i swear I'm trying so hard to ask for it but I'm so bad and it's so hard to find regardless #what if it's not enough what if I'm not enough what if i can't park what if i can't move everything what if #what if i didn't make a request to the damn place what if they don't let me do stuff tomorrow it was so hard getting this much help at all #ii don't think i can do it again *certainly* not in time #fuck fuck fuck fuck I'm so goddamn panicked I need to sleep but i CAN'T #gghhhh #....everything hurts so damn bad #iim barely gonna be able to help tomorrow i....#i hate this i hate being so useless #worthless just taking up space i #ffuck #im so tired

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yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt · 4 months ago

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Are you ever so extremely tired at work/school/class that it feels like physical pain?

Like I popped a caffeine pill that had 200mg in it an hour ago and I still feel like my body is made of cement what the fuck is wrong with me

#cw caffeine pills #im so fucking exhausted man #I take antidepressants specifically which are meant to make me not constantly on the verge of knocking out so what the fuck #like I didn't get enough sleep last night I know but this is ridiculous and NOTHING helps

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disdaidal · 9 months ago

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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

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musette22 · 2 years ago

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Good morning! Anyone else got a Evanstan reunion/Ghosted hangover? Just me? Cool 🫠

#worth it though 💘💘💘💘#I didn't sleep nearly enough so that doesn't help lol #gonna stay mostly horizontal today #and read fic #maybe rewatch ghosted #👀👀#and scream some more of course 🤗🤗#Happy Saturday! ✨️💝#ghosted #ghosted spoilers #evanstan #minnie talks

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babacontainsmultitudes · 1 year ago

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:0 feeling a tad down today if anyone feels like rambling in the tags (or sending in asks) about literally whatever! What you're up to, how your day was, secrets that no one is supposed to know, all that jazz! Could use stuff to read and distract myself with.

#not down about the poll itself or the results just people being kinda mean idk #and seeing my own words get taken out of context for bad faith misinterpretations #also just kind of a lonely day #Didn't sleep enough either #None of which is ultimately a big deal but like I said- distractions appreciated!#Also still sick so that doesn't help lol #Better than I was though

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rox-of-iu · 1 year ago

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me + mayhem going on a stupid silly hike for my stupid silly mental health

touched grass and i am normal again (lying)

#i will get back to drawing soon let me just sleep for a few years shdjhkfds #anyway photo credit to mayhem again i cant take pictures to save my life lol #btw the caption is obvs reference to that one hike video tiktok i think so credit to that also its not my joke #anywqay it was nice did help me a little bit #been feeling a bit down due to some personal problems ykno #and also due to not being accepted into a med uni I rly wanted to (but didn't put enough effort I'll confess) and that almost no one getsin #but i was only missing one point o(-( i was the first in line outside the capacity limit hasjkdhsahd #even tho my brain is rly small for it lets be real hfjsdfhksd but like hhsdjhshdjkhd those biches at physiotherapy baited me hdsjd #mqf i have failed you lol #also i have accidentaly gotten back into one piece as I do for like two weeks periodically every few months or so dhjsdhk #so im revisiting my olde blorbo trafalgar which is just reminding me of a fact that this was one of the fuckers my itty bitty young self -#- wanted to pursue medicine beacause of lmaoooo #bad timing one piece fixation!! bad bad!! sdhhdjshdjakshd #whatevrrr whatevr whatevr io dotn care! enough of that hahhskj #but hey as some of u may remeber im czech so haa whats up with the mountains right since we are very cute and 'down to earth' state hahaha #its cuz its actually from austria :))#we went hiking there since theyre co by kamenem dohodil as they say #fuck english has the exactly same saying im moron that ruins my whole thing hjdsk 'a stone's throw away' whatever ignore that ig hahhah #so yeah very beautiful very powerful go touch some grass lads #also they are not stones throw away i was lying but close enough-#also random czechs stop jumpscaring me in other countries challenge why was there so many of us horrible horrible horrible

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cosmogyros · 9 days ago

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Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.

And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.

Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!

I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)

Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).

#please don't be harsh to me about this y'all :( i just needed to vent #i feel stupid enough already for being so incredibly fucking bad at something as simple as WATCHING A MOVIE #i don't get it? is this an autism thing? or is it an auditory-processing issue only?#tbf it's a mockumentary (hard core logo) and as i said to a friend tonight: that might be part of the problem #i think actors in mockumentaries often don't have an actual script and tend to improvise a lot of their dialogue #which is great for creating really realistic and convincing dialogue #but also often means that sentences trail off or make no sense; words are pronounced weirdly; enunciation is shit; etc.#the actors in this movie are really good in the sense that they're very realistic and it comes across basically like a real documentary #so props to them for that. but jfc. is it just me being shitty at understanding people talking?#or is it that these people do not fucking know how to project and enunciate and open their goddamn mouths when they talk?#and place emphasis in the right place in sentences? AND PRONOUNCE WORDS CORRECTLY FFS???#no i'm not being fair. and i know that. it's not fair of me to blame the actors/characters for my own difficulty understanding them.#but god this is hard for me. kind of ironic that i've studied so many foreign languages and can understand about 10 languages more or less #but i'm almost brought to tears by the challenge of trying to understand what native english speakers are saying in a normal film #there's another line where the transcript says 'as long as we can keep the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together'#but i swear he does not actually say 'mentals'. i listened to that bit so many times!!!#i even sent the link to a friend who confirmed that it didn't sound like 'mentals' to him either. more like 'mantoros' but that's not a wor #anyway i eventually just gave up on that one. i'm done for the night. i need to sleep #might delete this tmrw bc it feels stupid to get this down over literally just trying to watch a movie :( but i had to let off some steam #if anyone has a CORRECT transcript of this movie anywhere (you'll know it's correct if it does NOT include the word 'ryder') pls let me kno #that would help a lot with my future attempts at finishing it. but now i'm going to bed

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propalahramota · 3 months ago

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"Post-nut clarity" this, "post-nut clarity" that...what about post-anxiety attack clarity, huh?

#didn't sleep last night #i sprained a muscle in my calf #it started aching #as it does #but yiu see I've just started new contraceptive pill #so I googled DVT and guess what one of the symptoms is pain in one leg #another symptom is difficult breathing and chest pain #which I was also starting to experience #because those are also the symptoms of a panic attack #which I successfully induced in myself by my 2AM symptom googling #I decided I couldn't go to sleep because what if I don't wake up #I was contemplating walking to a nearby hospital but ultimately decided against it because I didn't want to embarrass myself if #it wasn't DVT #then I took an online 111 NHS quiz #it didn't exactly help because ut was like well we think you should contact your gp asap #and I didn't wanna call mom (mom's a gp in Ukraine) cause she's got enough on her hands rn #eventually I fell asleep and woke up at noon feeling like a complete overthinking moron

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toopunkrockforshul · 1 month ago

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9am meeting with really have me losing all momentum and feel like I need a nap

#personal #it doesn't help that i didn't sleep enough last night but Ough

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mackmp3 · 10 months ago

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school starts back day after tomorrow and hoo boy am i tempted to cram both of thirteen's season of doctor who just so i can say i watched all of nuwho over the holidays, alas i think my brain would literally start rotting,,

#techinically i'm going to help at the library tommorow because. school librarian. im a nerd sue me #so i actually dont think id have enough hours to fit it all in unless i like didn't sleep or something #and too much computer time makes be feel mildly ill anyways sooo

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