#i didn't boil him a few months ago I'm sorry

[curejiraiya]

the apple of my eye 🍎

[babeyun]

out of my head ✮ l.hs [m]

✮ synopsis: years after your friendship with heeseung has begun crumbling, you ask him to be part of one of the biggest days of your life - your wedding day.

✮ genre: estranged best friends to ??? ; semi-unrequited lovers au ; angst ; fluff

✮ pairing: singer!lee heeseung x financial advisor!fem!reader ; sim jaeyun x reader

✮ word count: 10.4k (yikes...)

✮ rating: nc-17.

✮ warning(s): ...kissing? lol? a lot of hurt with no comfort, semi-unrequited lovers, wedding superstitions, mentions of having kids.

✮ playlist: off my face - justin bieber ; are we still friends? - tyler, the creator ; your eyes only - enhypen ; this is why i need you - jesse ruben.

✮ a/n: i'm a yapper sorry, but happiest birthday to heeseung <3 that's my pookie! i love u.

four months ago.

"you're getting married?"

you and heeseung had been best friends for nearly twenty years. the two of you met at a park during a winter storm, both of you having begged your mothers for a chance to go see the snow. a coincidence really, the two of you having somehow lived the same experience (one that heeseung was convinced was fate, while you just boiled it down to two four-year-old kids giving into the natural urge to plunge their grubby little fingers into cold, unforgiving snow.)

however, in the last few years, you'd grown apart. 

you were freshly out of university, and heeseung had recently taken a job as a backup vocalist for one of the local entertainment companies. he'd been a singer his entire life, something you never allowed yourself to pick up because your mother had always taught you that safety nets were better. while heeseung openly explored his talents, eventually learning guitar and slowly, piano - you buried yourself in mathematical equations that made your brain hurt but forced yourself through it all because, after all, you needed a plan.

heeseung lived life on the edge. he didn't care if he had money, if he had belongings - life was more than that to him. he ventured out into the city with nothing but his headphones sometimes, not even so much as bothering to bring an umbrella if it looked like rain. "if i get soaked, i get soaked! life is more than staying inside with your head heavy from studying." he told you once, and you had just shaken your head.

"come on, y/n! don't you want to dance in the rain? don't you want to risk getting sick and having your mom make you that soup you really like? live a little, life is too short to waste away in our bedrooms." he tugged you out of your house that day, making you leave your phone behind as you trekked the entire city by foot, and once the rain did start falling, you were a mile from your house. "heeseung, i can't get sick! i have a presentation–"

"screw that presentation! live in the now!" he held you close as the rain pelted your backs, spinning you around as your laughter echoed in the neighborhood. "isn't this fun! aren't you enjoying this newfound freedom, no expectations? no logarithms, no polynomials!" he exclaimed, making you only laugh harder. "hee, i'm a finance major. that is fun for me!"

"and i'm a y/n major, i know you fucking hate math!" he giggled as he set you down, his fingers brushing your wet hair off your face. "i don't have things like you do, hee! i need a plan, i need something to fall back on. you work to make money to invest into yourself, you don't follow dreams!" you say as the two of you make the route back to your house, making him scoff.

"are you saying i'm wasting my time living the way i do?" he asked, a twang of hurt in his voice going unnoticed by you as you nodded. "i do. i think you are wasting your potential." your words pierced him, but he said nothing more as the two of you reached your mom's house. "see you later, hee."

"see you later."

that had happened three years ago. heeseung noticeably distanced himself after that day, limiting your hangouts to once a week instead of dropping by whenever he felt like it. soon, what were weekly hangouts became biweekly, before you were only meeting him for dinner on a random wednesday night in the middle of the month. you never asked so he never explained, and he simply assumed your silence on the subject meant that your puzzle of a life no longer had a need for a lee heeseung-shaped piece.

it pained him to think that you were outgrowing him.

heeseung was taking classes while working, having finally let your words get to him. you were right, in a way - he couldn't live his life on the edge forever, but the fact that you actually said that to him after constantly reassuring him that you believed in him was...unexpected, to say the least.

"she's just worried about you, hee." his older brother rattled, and heeseung shook his head. he had long told him about that day, and continued to try and decipher it for the years after. he didn’t really understand why it bothered him so much, but his only guess was the same — you had pretended to have an interest in his life, but yet, just like everyone else…

…you had no faith in him.

“yes, hee, i’m getting married! focus!” you tapped your pen on the notepad in front of you, the ice in your matcha long melted. heeseung was gripping his mug of hot chocolate for dear life, wondering where he missed the fact that you were even in a relationship to begin with. “i didn’t even know you had a boyfriend, forgive me for being curious.” he scoffs, making you roll your eyes.

“you would know if you answered any of my calls.” you say pointedly, making him groan. “okay, sorry i’ve been so absent from your life. what’s this guy’s name anyway?”

“sim jaeyun. you can call him jake.” you scribble something onto the notepad, before tearing it off and handing it to him. “this is his number, you’re going to have to talk to him at some point for what i’m about to ask you.”

your smile is mischievous, one that heeseung could never forget. it was engraved in his memory, it lit up his dreams and haunted his nightmares. the same smile he’s written endless lyrics about, the same smile he’s fallen in love with but refused to admit it.

“y/n, i haven’t seen you in six months. how can someone possibly gauge if a person is marriage material in such a short time?” he argues as he folds the scrap of yellow paper. you huff with a frustrated look on your face, “jaeyun and i have been seeing each other for a year! we made it official nine months ago, and we’ve been engaged for three months! i told you this already!”

“when the fuck did you even mention him!?” he groans, and you click your pen angrily.

"hee, if you hadn't been so focused on your own life, you'd be up to date with mine." grimacing, you reach into the knapsack you brought with you. pulling out a pink binder, you set it on the table, facing him. the paper sheet behind the vinyl reads the sims - may 2026. 

he snorts inwardly, before you open the binder. "i know we haven't been as close as we'd like the past few years." you start, clearing your throat as he glances at you. you pull apart the binder rings, pulling out a folder as you continue to speak. "but, i know that you're still doing the singing thing, and i wanted to offer you a gig."

sliding the folder across to him, he glances down at it. it's thick with pieces of printer paper, lyrics typed neatly in times new roman. he recognizes the first song as he slips it out of the folder, his eyes scanning the sheet over and over. 

"you want me to sing at your wedding?" he asks incredulously, and you take a sip of your watered down matcha. you press your lips together as you nod, staring at your fingers. "i showed jaeyun some clips of yours from a few of your other gigs, and he really liked it. this is our song, and we want you to sing it for our first dance." you tap the paper with your pen, and heeseung sighs.

"then why are we here alone? why isn't he here, showing face and asking me with you?" he accuses, and your frown is deep enough that he's sure you're about to throw your drink at him. "he's at work, if you must know. he's busy."

"and what does he work in that he can't come with his future wife to a measly two-hour lunch?" he taps his finger on the table, his eyes boring into yours, searching for any sign of the best friend he'd become estranged from. you weren't there.

"he's..." you bite your lip, staring at whatever was behind him in order not to meet his eyes. he looks at you pointedly, brows raised in expectation - a look he'd always hated from other people. you grimace before responding. "he's a singer, he's recording his album right now." heeseung blinks slowly, something you knew meant he was about to either get up and leave, or he was going to scold you once he processed the information. your best friend was nothing short of an open book, but as he looked down at the sheet in his hand and shook his head, you suddenly couldn't read him anymore.

"after all the shit you gave me." his tongue drips with poison before he shoves the sheet of paper back in the folder, tapping it with his hand before grimacing. "when is the wedding? do i have to be there for the whole thing?" his eyes are full of fire as he stares at you, and you can feel yourself shrink under his gaze. heeseung was rarely ever mad at you, even during these years of estrangement. you were never really on the receiving end of his anger, so you never handled it. "may second. you don't have to stay, if you don't want to. but i'd love for you to be there." your words are softer than you intended, and you can really feel the tug on the invisible string that ties the two of you together.

he nods, pressing his lips together as you watch his eyes brim with tears. "okay." he looks away as the first tear falls, wiping it away quickly before getting up. "just…send me the address when the time comes." he tucks the folder under his arm as he quickly walks away, trying not to let any more tears fall as he exits the cafe.

he can't help but hold everything in as he walks to his apartment, his mind spinning with potential thoughts. when did you get so far? how did he let you stray so deeply, and where did you even meet this guy? why didn't you tell him sooner? or did you, and he just blocked it out? he can't remember, no matter how hard he skims his memory. "fuck!" he screams as he slams his door shut, throwing the folder onto the table in the foyer. 

he slides down the door, a sinking feeling taking over his stomach as he hits the cold tile. he can't help but sob into his hands, his shoulders shaking violently as he does. you're getting married and he missed the entire thing, he's missed the past year of your life and has no remorse in doing so. he only feels sorry now, now that he's realized he's too late.

april 30.

heeseung was increasingly stressed.

you had told him over text (because he wouldn't answer your calls) that he had to take the week off so he could participate in bonding activities with your fiancé's groomsmen. he'd been reluctant, and said he'd get there the thursday before the wedding, nothing sooner – making you upset. he didn't care, he wouldn't lie to himself – he felt betrayed that you were getting married to someone else. it was childish of him and he knew it, but as he aimlessly wandered jeju island alone – it only sank deeper into his bones that he had truly fucked up.

he didn't bother to bond with any of your bridesmaids, either – despite their starry eyes and warm smiles, he could only see the dread in your eyes, the twitch in your lower lip as you greeted your guests with your fiancé. he kept his hand on your lower back at all times, and heeseung wonders if jake knows that he did that in the past. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he held your hand as you both skipped through the sand on family vacations with your families, heeseung wonders if jake knows that he shared a bed with you on nights where thunderstorms would scare you out of your sleep and heeseung would run the three blocks to your house to comfort you.

heeseung wonders if jake knows that he was your first kiss, in the back of heeseung's '96 civic when you were both juniors in high school. heeseung wonders if jake knows that he is in love with you, and that he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to stop.

not that jake knowing any of this would matter, because come saturday night, you'd be out of his grasp forever. he would never place his hand on the small of your back to ease your nerves, he would never hold your hand, he would never share a bed with you. he would never kiss you again, and he'd rather never see you again if it were up to him.

but it wasn't, was it? "heeseung! you made it!" 

heeseung turns to see park sunghoon walking towards him with his hand shielding his eyes from the sun. "oh shit, hey! i didn't think you and y/n kept in touch after high school, it's great to see you." heeseung greets him, and sunghoon snorts. 

"we didn't, actually. jaeyun and i go way back." sunghoon nods. sunghoon had been a friend of the two of you, but it was hard to keep in touch due to his prominent ice skating career. he was always busy, and it was easier to cut ropes than continuously make promises to see each other only to fall short.

"i'm sorry i didn't reach out more." heeseung starts, but sunghoon shakes his head. "don't even worry about it! my life was too crazy to keep tabs on everybody." sunghoon shakes his head, and heeseung tilts his head at him. "was?" sunghoon shifts in the sand, picking his cuticles as he sighs. "i had to quit, i got injured pretty badly during the finale of my last competition. i won, though, so at least i went out with a bang." he shrugs, and heeseung can see the disappointment in his eyes before offering a hug. "i'm sorry, hoon. that really fucking sucks."

sunghoon rejects the hug with a shake of his head. "it's fine, i'm doing other things now. i work as a backup vocalist for jake, me and jay. oh, jay's here, too! have you seen him?" sunghoon gestures to the air, and heeseung offers a small smile before shaking his head. "haven't seen him yet. to be honest, i don't want to be here." heeseung's confession, if surprising, doesn't seem to faze sunghoon. instead, the younger boy nods. "i figured you wouldn't. you're singing for them, right? i heard through the grapevine." sunghoon smirks, and heeseung rolls his eyes before lightly punching his arm. "stop lying, you brat. you read it on the wedding program."

sunghoon gives him a soft pat on the back, before leaning closer. "she wasn't going to wait forever, heeseung." with a curt nod, sunghoon continues down the beach towards the resort, leaving heeseung with wide eyes and a heavy heart. what did he mean by that?

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the night was heavy as the last of your guests straggled in, and your feet were swelling in your shoes from standing for so long. jake had offered to take over as you went up to your room to change them, and you were internally thanking him as you hobbled to the elevator.

only for you to arrive and see your best friend waiting there calmly, headphones over his ears as he softly nods along to whatever is playing. he looks up when the elevator finally opens, completely oblivious to your lingering presence behind him. it's only when you get in after him, feeling the shift of the elevator's floor, that he looks at you.

his eyes are unreadable as he skims them over your face, a soft tilt to his head before he presses button six, hand hovering over the button as he waits for you to speak. you put up five fingers, and he presses it carefully as the doors close. it's silent, and for the first time ever since you were four years old, heeseung feels like a stranger. a polite stranger that presses the elevator button for you, that has come all the way from seoul on a ferry to sing at his estranged best friend's wedding.

except he's not a stranger, and you're the estranged best friend getting married this weekend. you're the estranged best friend who lied about your fiancé being excited for him to sing your first dance song, and you're the estranged best friend who wants it to hurt him. you want it to hurt, seeing you dance with your soon-to-be husband all night,  you want it to burn in his chest when the two of you kiss at the end of the aisle.

you want him to ache as badly as you did when he basically abandoned you for no good reason. you want him to stay up all night in tears like you did when he wouldn't answer your calls, you want him to rant passionately about you to whoever gets the privilege of being his girlfriend like you did to jake when the two of you first started dating, and you want him to ignore the questions of if you're in love with each other.

just like you did.

loving heeseung was a thing of the past. he was out of your heart and out of your head, for the most part. you only ever thought of him when you'd talk to jake about old high school stories, skipping over the parts where you and heeseung shared loving caresses that the two of you convinced yourselves were nothing more than platonic. it didn't matter now, though, because there was no piece shaped like you in heeseung's puzzling life anymore.

you love jake. he's your endgame, and you're glad to be marrying him.

"are you excited? big day soon." he says gently, and you can feel your stomach turn as he nudges you with his elbow. you nod, a small smile on your lips as you glance down at your engagement ring. jake had it custom made, a marquise diamond nestled onto a thick gold band. it was a little tight, but you promised yourself you'd get it resized after the wedding.

"very excited. are you nervous? about your performance, i mean?" you ask, genuine concern in your voice as he shakes his head. "just another gig, really. it's special to you, though, so i've been putting my all into the rehearsals." he itches his neck, a nervous tick you'd picked up on through the years. you nod, patting his shoulder gently. the conversation stops as the elevator does, the number five on the elevator's neon sign. 

"my stop. i'll see you at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow, right? you need to be there." your eyes are pleading, and heeseung can't help but sigh. "i'll try." 

the answer doesn't seem to satisfy you, but you nod anyway, turning on your heels to go to your room. the doors close, and he lets out a shaky breath. you're very excited to marry sim jaeyun in less than thirty-six hours. you're very excited to be mrs. sim, you're very excited to have your first dance with your husband to the sound of your best friend's voice singing the song that reminds you and jake of your relationship. 

a song that insinuates the two of you are unbelievably high off each other in every which way, and how ruined one of you has made the other for anybody else. but this song doesn't take into consideration how he is ruined for anyone else, how he is in pieces at the mere thought of you wearing white while meeting someone else down the aisle.

he doesn't want to feel like that anymore.

may 01.

"hey! you must be heeseung, i've been waiting forever to meet you!" 

heeseung doesn't recognize the voice as he turns, eyes swollen with sleep when he looks to see you, and who he presumes to be sim jaeyun. he nods absently, before glancing at his cup of hot water. he'd stumbled down to the hotel's complimentary lounge, a packet of fennel mint tea in his hand.

"give me a moment, i'm sorry. i'm barely here." he apologizes sheepishly, tearing the bag open and dipping the bag into the cup. he wipes at his eyes once more, before turning to face a smiling jake. "you're jaeyun, right? nice to finally meet you man, y/n has said some awesome things about you."

lies. heeseung doesn't remember a single thing you have ever said about jake, just that he's a singer. but out of courtesy, and jake's business-like grip on his hand, he smiles through it anyway. "i heard that you asked for me specifically. your wedding song is beautiful." heeseung sees you wince out of the corner of his eye as jake looks a bit taken aback. he tilts his head slightly, but goes along with what heeseung now knows is a lie. "i'm glad you could make it. y/n talks a lot about your singing skills, are you working on any projects right now?" your face is pained as heeseung looks you dead in the eyes, "no, i'm just a backup vocalist. i gave up on that dream a while ago." he looks back at jake, who has a sad smile on his face. "the fame, the money…i was never suited for that life, anyway." "i'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you." jake sounds genuine, a flash of sadness in his eyes as he shakes heeseung's hand again. "i hope to see you at the rehearsal tonight. have you got a girlfriend? there'll be quite a few people at our singles' table." jake wiggles his brows and heeseung wonders when you're going to speak.

"actually, heeseung won't be able to stay. he's got another gig on sunday." you lie, and jake's eyes widen. "oh, you'll be missing our reception?" "i'll be leaving right after your dance, i do sincerely apologize." heeseung gives jake a sheepish grin, to which jake nods slowly. "that's unfortunate, there's a lot of people you could network with here! take advantage of it, dreams are meant to become reality." jake finalizes, before giving heeseung another warm smile.

"i will do my best! thank you for having me." heeseung says, and you can feel the fake tone of happiness in his voice seep into your bones. you'd been the only person to ever recognize it, and heeseung knows you're aware he used it as he takes the tea bag out of his mug. "i will see you both tonight." 

he spins on his heel as he hears jake whisper to you.

"you asked him to sing our song? when? why didn't you tell me?" "we can talk about this later, okay? he's really good, i promise."

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your mother had been staring at heeseung for the last fifteen minutes, and heeseung was almost sure she was trying to figure out if he was who she thought he was. he gave her a small smile and waved, and the moment her eyes lit up, the person in front of her turned.

jake. he frowns as she walks away from him mid-conversation, stumbling over only moments before the rehearsal dinner is set to start.

"sorry, sweetie. i didn't know you and my y/n finally made up! it's so good to see you!" her embrace is crushing, and heeseung doesn't have the heart to tell your mother that you're a horrible liar. you hadn't 'made up' – he was simply doing you a favor, something else you'd lied about. he just smiles as she pulls back, ruffling his hair gently. "love the red, it really suits you." "thank you, auntie. it's nice to see you again." he remains relaxed as he sees her eyes soften. "what's wrong? not ready to see your little girl walk down the aisle?" he teases, and the older woman sighs inwardly. she turns, her shoulder brushing his as they stare into the room full of tipsy bridesmaids and boisterous groomsmen. "if i admit something to you, you'll keep it quiet, right?" she murmurs, and heeseung suddenly feels like this conversation isn't going to be one that favors his unruly feelings for you. "of course, auntie. who am i to tell?" "i always thought you'd be the one to marry my y/n." she sighs, clasping her hands in front of her as her eyes watch jake speaking to you gently as he hands you a glass of wine. heeseung's eyes follow hers and the two of them can see as your face falls and jake quickly moves to hide you from any lingering gazes. "i should go see what's wrong. it's nice to see you, heeseung. please enjoy the wedding!" he nods as your mother quickly crosses the room, her arm around you as jake gets pushed to entertain the guests while you get taken care of. jake looks nervous, and heeseung can't seem to stop his body as he also crosses the room, a small smile on his face. "good evening, jake." "oh, hey! how are you liking the venue so far?" a small flash of relief passes onto his face, and heeseung feels guilty as he shrugs. "it's what i expected for someone like y/n. so floral, so bright. are you sure you had any part in this?" he snickers, and jake laughs genuinely.

"she wouldn't let me even look at the flowers with her. babe, you're going to pick the wrong ones!" he imitates you, and heeseung shakes his head in amusement. you'd always been a bit of a control freak when it came to your visions, and now that your life revolved around financial decisions, you were wound up extra tight. "yeah, she's always been like that." he sighs, and jake doesn't miss the slight tone of sadness.

"listen, i don't know you very well," jake starts, reaching for a bottle of cabernet across the table. he grabs two glasses, uncorking the wine as he leans to pour. "but i want to say thank you." he holds the wine out to heeseung, and he tries not to look curious as he takes it.

"thank you for what?" heeseung asks, and jake gives him a pointed look as he blindly pours his own glass. 

"for taking care of y/n all these years. i know you and i probably won't be the best of friends, i'm the first to admit that i'm not very good at sharing her attention." jake grimaces to himself as he replaces the cork into the bottle. "but i'm glad that she has someone as reliable as you, that can just… be there for her. it's a beautiful thing, your friendship."

heeseung almost feels nauseous as jake continues talking about how sweet your lifelong friendship with him seems. it just confirms that you told jake everything and anything you could about it, and based on his mention of jealousy, that includes the first kiss you shared. he can barely hear jake over the sound of his heart beating in his ears, but understands enough when jake pats his shoulder.

"...and i figured i'd be honest. y/n didn't say anything about you singing our song, we had originally planned for sunghoon to sing it with the band we hired. i guess she thought you'd be better for it, and i trust her judgment." jake says, pulling heeseung back in. "oh, i'm sorry." "don't even worry about it, man. hey, why don't you just relax, enjoy the dinner tonight. tomorrow is going to hit us like a fucking train, we should be well rested today." jake nods, and heeseung reciprocates with a gentle smile as someone else calls for jake's attention. "remember, just chill! network!" jake gestures to the room as he walks backwards towards the people looking for him.

heeseung can't shake the nausea from his throat, setting down the glass of wine to wander to the bathroom. but, the hall seems to get longer and longer, the temperature changing from the cold air conditioning to the humid spring air. he can feel a breeze in his hair, and then he realizes he's on the beach. his feet are buried in the warm sand, shoes in his hand.

sighing, he reminds himself he can't zone out like that all the time. it's not healthy, you had told him once. what if you end up in the middle of nowhere?

he reaches into his pocket, pulled out his spare headphones. he was supposed to bond with everyone at your stupid rehearsal dinner, but he didn't care to do so as he stared at the crashing waves. plugging the headphones into his phone, he gently speaks to siri as he lays on his back, looking up at the cloudless sky.

"hey, siri. play are we still friends? by tyler, the creator."

he stares into the water as the song pours into his ears. he doesn't know where things went to shit, but he knows it's his fault. he should've told you that what you said hurt his feelings. he should have communicated, then maybe it'd be him sitting next you in the private jet your mother rented solely for your honeymoon escape after the reception.

maybe it'd be him spinning you around in your beautiful wedding dress, and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as you dance the night away. maybe it would be him, like your mom had hoped. maybe it would be him, like he had hoped, too.

his fingers dig into the sand as he swallows the lump in his throat. there is nothing in hell, heaven or earth that would stop you from trekking the aisle tomorrow afternoon. nothing would stop jake from kissing you tenderly right in front of him, and doing it for the rest of your lives. it would taunt him, it would haunt him like the ghost of your friendship. you weren't friends anymore, the two of you knew it. things would never be the same between you, and yet, neither of you was brave enough to ask the question.

why?

"heeseung! are you out here?!" he can hear sunghoon's voice over the fourth replay of the song, lowering the volume as he tilts his head to find him. "over here, what's up?" "what's up? they're waiting for you, man!" sunghoon is standing in the doorway of the resort, the soft breeze blowing his hair back as a bridesmaid also peers over his shoulder. heeseung sighs as he stands, wiping his pants of sand and shoving his phone into his pocket. he walks quickly, humming quietly to himself to semi-prepare his voice for the perfect delivery of the song you wanted him to sing.

everyone is chatting quietly around the tables as heeseung steps inside, running his fingers through his hair as he walks forward. your mother catches his eye, a concerned look on her face, but he can't hold eye contact. he faces the floor as he reaches the small stage the venue has set up for the band, jay perched on a stool holding a guitar.

"hey, hee. you ready?" he asks as he tucks in his in-ear monitor, and heeseung shrugs as he takes his place behind the microphone. only then does he notice that the chatter he heard was just two bridesmaids, kim sunoo, riki nishimura and yang jungwon – all friends of yours and jake's that he hadn't bothered to meet further than reading their names in the program. 

he watches silently as you and jake take the center of the dance floor, your eyes slightly reddened as you gingerly drape your arms over your fiancé. your smile doesn't fill your cheeks as jay begins playing softly.

heeseung takes a deep breath, and your eyes catch him as he begins to sing.

one touch, and you've got me stoned. higher than i've ever known…

you were both thirteen.

he remembers the way you held onto him the night that you lost your first mathletes competition. you cried so hard that you'd almost thrown up, and heeseung could only soothe you by dragging you to the nearest convenience store and shoving a melona popsicle in your hand. you went silent after that, gripping his hand tightly as he walked you home. you'd squeezed his hand three times that night, something he'd always done but you'd roll your eyes at.

"why would i squeeze your hand when i can just tell you, hee?"

you call the shots and i'll follow. sunrise, but the night's still young…

you were both seventeen. 

he remembers when you called him to come over while it was storming, because your mother was out of town. your house was a little over a mile away and normally, he didn't mind the walk. it was almost three in the morning, and he'd been sleeping when your ringtone went off for the third time. "hello?" "hee, please come over. it's storming so bad, i'm so–"

he hadn't even let you finish before ripping his bedsheets off his body and sprinting for the door. his clothes, his shoes, everything was soaking wet by the time he got to your house. you'd embraced him anyway, your own clothes soaking through as he trudged into your home �� only for the storm to stop a few moments after his arrival.

no words, but we're speaking tongues. if you let me, i might say too much…

you were both twenty.

he remembers when you asked him, in the middle of your kitchen during your graduation party, if he could kiss you. the house was empty except for the two of you – his parents and your mom had decided to throw a joint party, using the excuse that two best friends should always stick together. your mom had sent you inside for more hor d'oeuvres, and you'd dragged him inside with the excuse that you couldn't carry them all yourself.

"you don't have to, hee. i'm sorry." your eyes were full of embarrassment as heeseung stared at you, a bit in shock at your question. only as you begin to move further into the kitchen does he register what you've said, and grabs your arm, pulling you toward him. "ask me again, i'm sorry. i zoned out, i thought you asked me to kiss you."

"i did." you repeated quietly, and heeseung blinked twice before nodding. "o-okay. yeah, i can do that." he cleared his throat, looking over your shoulder into the foyer to ensure no one was opening the door. 

"are you sure? i mean, it's your first kiss, wouldn't you want to have it with someone special?" he's rambling, and your gentle laugh pulls him right back.

"you are special, hee." 

without another word, he backed you up against your kitchen counter, his hands on your hips as he softly kissed you. your hands were on his biceps, and he could feel your nervousness seep through your locked lips. he carefully circles your thighs to lift you onto the counter, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck before he breaks the kiss.

"how was that? okay?" his eyes searched yours, a shy smile playing on his swollen lips as you blinked. "uh, i'm not sure. i think–" "you want to try again?" his head tilted to the side, a habit you loved and eventually also caught. you nodded silently. his smile was wide as he closed the gap between the two of you, the hands on your thighs squeezing softly. once, twice, three times.

i love you.

your touch blurred my vision. it's your world, and i'm just in it…

you're both twenty one.

he remembers how he stared at his bedroom ceiling, clothes soaked in rain from prancing around the city with you. how piercing your words were, how he thought for so long that you believed in him. how all of these events he can't stop thinking about, are about you. how proud he was of you, how lucky he was to have you, how insane it was that you wanted him. you wanted him at one point.

how he didn't care that he got sick, but certainly didn't understand why your sore throat and stuffy nose didn't make him feel a pang of distress. how he didn't care that no one else was refuting his talent, because they weren't you. he didn't care about anyone else in this world, but you.

even sober, i'm not thinking straight…

you're both twenty two.

he remembers his birthday going abhorrently wrong. you weren't there, per usual – you were too wrapped up with school to give heeseung a second thought. he'd long realized that he didn't want to lose you, but it seemed that you no longer cared to keep the friendship alive. he still has the messages he sent you, and is still amazed at the lack of typos despite being absolutely shitfaced.

message to: my y/n <3 [2022.10.15 | 11:23pm] it's my birthday, baby. [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] you can't be here for me today? [2022.10.15 | 11:24pm] i miss you. i miss our friendship. [2022.10.15 | 11:26pm] i can't believe you're missing my birthday. i never miss your birthdays. [2022.10.15 | 11:30pm] is this it? are we done?  [2022.10.15 | 11:34pm] when will you come back to me? when, how much longer? [2022.10.15 | 11:35pm] when you graduate? i can wait. (not delivered!) [2022.10.15 | 11:47pm] just tell me how long. i'll wait. (not delivered!)[2022.10.16 | 12:02am] i'd wait forever for you (not delivered!)

he changed his number after that. he still doesn't know how you got his new one. he doesn't care to ask, either.

cause i'm off my face, in love with you…

you're both twenty five.

he's watching you slow dance with your fiancé, fingers interlaced behind his neck as jake's hands rest on your hips. he hates the jealousy that boils in his stomach, but doesn't bother to break eye contact with the tile on the ceiling with water damage.

i'm out my head, so into you…

he can feel his fingers tightening around the microphone stand, but can't seem to stop his eyes from averting as jake spins you gently, before your soft giggle hits his ears. you look up at jake with what he can only assume is adoration, before resting your cheek on his shoulder. you're looking right at heeseung, mouthing along to the song.

and i don't know how you do it…

you're fixing your posture instead, still staring at heeseung as jake takes your hand in his, kissing your knuckles. you instinctively smile at the feeling, and heeseung's eyes zero in on your fingers as you squeeze jake's hand.

once, twice, three times. i love you.

but i'm forever ruined by you, ooh, ooh, ooh.

"i love you." your eyes haven't left heeseung as you whisper the words, and you can see the way his eyes fill with fire as he looks away. you get a twisted feeling of satisfaction in your gut, before finally averting your eyes back to your fiancé. jake is smiling softly at you, and you quickly close the gap between you as heeseung continues to sing. your lips press against jake's smoothly, before he swiftly moves away. "i can't wait to marry you tomorrow." he whispers.

"me, too."

liar.

may 02.

the wedding is in twenty minutes.

your pantyhose has ripped, you tripped going up the stairs. you're not even wearing your dress yet. there are storm clouds gathering, and you can’t help but feel like everything in the universe is working against you. the only thing holding you together is your mother, her arms are wrapped tightly around you.

“are you sure we can’t just run away and elope?” you mumble into her shoulder, and your mother laughs. “not anymore. but,” she pulls away from you, cradling your face in her hands gently. “i love you, honey. everything will be okay.”

you hate the churn in your stomach at the word everything. because if everything were okay, it'd be sunny. if everything were okay, you'd be staring down an aisle full of people and only see heeseung at the end of it. if everything were okay, you would've never said yes to that first date.

“i love you.” you repeat, your hand resting on her wrists as you nod robotically. “i’ll see you out there, okay?”

“okay.” you breathe out shakily as she presses her lips to your hairline, lingering slightly before pulling away and leaving your room. you were alone now, and you glanced out the window at all the guests gathering on the beach. everyone is dressed so brightly, bunches of pinks and lilacs scattered across the sand. jake is waiting patiently at the end of the aisle, the forest green of his suit making his skin glow slightly brighter. how he does it, you don't know.

and then you see heeseung.

he’s dressed in black, despite the theme of the wedding being floral and natural. you grimace, forcing yourself to look away before spotting your dress hanging on the back of the door. you'd have to shimmy into it on your own, having sent everyone out in a fit of anxiety.

sighing, you unhook the heavy dress from the door, carefully letting the skirt pool on the floor as you step into it. it slides on perfectly, and you can't help but lose your breath at the sudden weight of the world on your chest. you're getting married, and you love jake.

but he'll never, ever be heeseung.

"tighten up, y/n. you've got this." you shake your head, reaching back and forcing the zipper up as high as you could. you had a hook-and-eye closure at the top, something you'd simply have to forego if you wanted to make it downstairs on time. groaning to yourself, you attempt to pull up the zipper just a bit more, before giving up and covering it with your veil. grabbing your bouquet, you give yourself a final glance in the mirror.

"you've got this. everything will be okay." 

your voice is shaky, but you swing your room door open anyway – only to be met with heeseung on the other side. his eyes widen, mouth slightly agape as you come into his view. "wow, you look…" "what are you doing here? you're supposed to be downstairs." you scold, shoving your keycard into the pocket of your dress. oh yeah, you've got it like that. "your mom asked me to come see what was taking so long. i told her you'd be down soon, but she insisted." he shrugs, so nonchalantly.

like none of this is eating away at him.

"ugh, whatever. come on." your tone is angry, but your face shows nothing but fear. his eyes follow as you storm towards the elevator, seeing the zipper of your dress slowly sliding down as you reach the doors. "here, hold on."

his fingers move your veil carefully as you step into the elevator, before pulling the fabric tighter together and pulling the zipper to the top. he carefully clasps the closure, and you swear you feel every hair on your body sticking up when his fingertips gently graze your back. "don't touch me, heeseung."

"i'm trying to help you. otherwise, you'd flash that entire crowd." he scoffs, pressing the floor button. you sigh, wrapping your arms around yourself as the elevator becomes silent. the tension is thick between you, you know it. your eyes never leave the neon sign, watching the floor numbers go by before heeseung reaches over and pulls the emergency lever.

"what the fuck are you doing?! i'm already late!" you gasp, hitting his arm with your bouquet when he stands in front of the lever. "i can't let you do this unless you hear what i have to say."

"heeseung, i'm getting married. this is the biggest day of my life–" your whining is cut short by his hand on your mouth, and only then do you see the unshed tears in his eyes. "the biggest day of my life was when i met you on that stupid playground. i never, ever in my life thought our friendship would end this way, and you know what, it makes me kind of sick."

he breathes deeply, removing his hand from your face as he sees the shock in your eyes. "you're saying you're already late to your big day, well i just want to say i beat you in that department. i've never had a problem with punctuality, but i really missed the mark on this one." his chuckle is dry, humorless as he looks at the bouquet in your hand. "i don't think i'll get over this, ever. i'll never get the chance to be in his place. but," he steps back, fingers gripping the emergency lever in his hand.

"i want you to know that it should be me. i should be the one waiting for you at the end of the aisle. i should be the one who gets to love you until the end of my days, and even then, you'd never die. you'd be loved by me forever, the evidence strewn all over the world in compositions and lyrics. i would never let you die."

he pushes the lever back, before moving back to his original spot next to you. the elevator doors open, revealing an empty lobby. the storm clouds are no longer that far away, and you can feel the humidity through the open plan of the resort.

"i am foolishly, hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you. and i hope you realize this is the biggest mistake of your life." his voice is soft, as is his smile when he offers his hand. "here's to your forever, my love."

you say nothing.

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

if heeseung was anything, it was a sick bastard. a sick, rat bastard who had no shame. your mother took you from his arm at the end of the aisle, and you didn't even realize you'd allowed him to lead you there. jake's eyes shone with what could only be identified as jealousy.

he smiled the entire ceremony, clapping and whistling alongside your other guests through the vows. the sappy vows jake had penned were poetic compared to yours, but he knew what you meant anyway. you felt several fat raindrops plop onto your head and shoulders, while heeseung had come prepared and shared his umbrella with your mother.

he even helped her inside once the rain really started pouring, just after your first kiss as a married couple. your stomach was boiling over in fury as you watched him laugh with her, his eyes only meeting yours once with a soft smile. 

you and jake slipped away to change into your reception clothing, his suit jacket abandoned and sleeves rolled up, showing off the watch you got him for his birthday. your ballroom white dress, now stained with sand, was traded in for an a-line style. jake met you in front of the resort, his fingers curled in yours when he finally spoke.

"we really did it, huh." he says quietly, his eyes scanning the shut doors of the reception venue. you nod, your breath caught in your throat when he takes a step back, his hand squeezing yours. "two years." your ears twitch at this. "what?" "all i ask for is two years. we can have a kid. we'll have an heir to our wills. we can get divorced after two years, and you can be with him." he breathes, eyes following the pattern on the heavy wooden door. you choke out a scoff of disbelief, your throat burning. "what the fuck are you talking about, jaeyun?" he winces at the use of his name, so used to gentle baby and sweetened honey. a sigh escapes his lips as he turns to face you. "i know you love him, y/n. you don't have to hide it from me. you wouldn't have brought him all the way out here, you wouldn't have gone behind my back and changed the plans for the band. your mom loves him, for crying out loud. i never stood a chance." he chuckles sadly, and your tears are hot as they flow down your face.

"how can you say that, jaeyun? i'm married to you, i've chosen you, over anything and anyone in this world! how can you say such things?!" your hurt is evident, but he can't figure out if it's because of the little blame game or if it's because you truly, deeply love him. he doesn't know what to say, but reaches to wipe your tears. you jerk away, a frown etched on your glossed lips as you wipe them yourself. you take a deep breath, grabbing the door knob.

"fix your face." you mutter, a tone jake had never received from you as he sighed, painting a smile of everything's okay on his face as the two of you threw the doors open in unison. your crowd of guests cheered loudly, rice flying everywhere as they welcomed you in. the band was loudly playing got to be real by cheryl lynn, and you almost forget jake's painful words behind the door. you almost forget that heeseung will be queueing up to sing for you and your husband, for free, on the very stage you're now standing in front of. 

jungwon hands you a microphone and two champagne flutes, before slinking away to his seat. you hand one to jake, who swirls it nervously.

"wow, it's such an honor to have all of our loved ones here today." your voice is shaky as you take them all in, dozens of eyes staring you down. "i mean, i've waited for this day since i was a little girl. it's a blessing to finally see it in color, in person. thank you." jake breathes in deeply, before looking away to blink back tears. "i'm not crying, my eyes are just sweating." he speaks into the microphone, earning an empathetic laugh from the guests, your hand ghosts over his back, and he stiffens at it. "i'm so…so terribly in love with y/n. i can't believe this day is real." a soft aww echoes in the room, your chest tightening as you see heeseung sitting next to your mother. he's cooing with everyone else. "and i can't wait to be a man that is continuously worthy of her love. to y/n." 

you almost burst into tears as everyone raises their drinks to you, the clink of glasses adding to the emotion as you and jake find your seats at the end of the hall. you sit gingerly, holding jake's hand under the table tightly. "i love you, jake." "i love you, y/n."

🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊 – 🟊

the speeches were a mess. jay was a mess of tears, and minjeong spewed bullshit about the two of you being like sisters. heeseung hadn't met her until five minutes after the ceremony, and if you had been close to anyone enough to consider them a sibling, he'd know them. no one knew you like he did.

"and now, for the newlyweds' first dance! we have a very special guest singing for us today, please give a warm welcome and round of applause to y/n's longest friend, lee heeseung!" 

he smiled nervously as he took the stage, a puffy-eyed jay sitting behind him as he tested the microphone. "thank you for having me, and congratulations to the newlyweds. y/n, i'm eternally proud of you and so grateful to be here on your special day. i love you." none of the guests know it means something more to him, to you, as they let out an aww. how heartwarming, that your lifelong best friend was here for you. how lovely, that he was supporting you every step of the way.

he sang carefully, watching as you and jake held each other tightly, swaying to the song. he can hear your sniffle, a soft sob into jake's shoulder as he lovingly strokes your back. he looks away.

it should be him.

it should be heeseung, that gets to see you wear white. it should be heeseung, that gets to plan a tedious wedding at your instruction. it should be heeseung that gets to take you on a romantic honeymoon and spend all day in the sun and all night glued to your bed. it should be heeseung that gets to shampoo your hair for you when you're feeling too tired, it should be heeseung that gets to watch you put lipstick on in the morning just to ruin it before you're out the door. 

it should be him. and everyone knows it, no matter if they know your history or not.

"thank you, everyone. let's hear it for the newlyweds!"

october 15.

"hey."

it's been over a year since your wedding. you and jake had happily posted tons of wedding photos, piled over with honeymoon flicks. you and heeseung hadn't spoken since the wedding. he left right after the first dance, catching the first ferry back to seoul. he didn't bother contacting you to see if you'd made it back safely, he didn't bother to message you a happy birthday when it came around. he just didn't care.

he dropped out of college for the second time, and spent the summer going around seoul auditioning for companies. decelis entertainment finally gave him a break, and only after he got his contract did he find out that jake and all of his friends were also at this company.

he was polite in the hallways. he smiled, he waved, he engaged in small talk and perused the past. he didn't ask questions, he didn't initiate. he spent his time holed away in the studio with a producer named yeonjun, recording for hours on end without a break. he was set to debut in two weeks, having dropped his first teaser just two days prior.

all without you to cheer him on.

"what are you doing here?" his voice was cold, nothing you weren't used to at this point. his hair wasn't red anymore, now a natural chocolate brown. it suited him. "came to visit, heard from jake that you've been training for a year." "what's it to you?"

he's being harsh, he knows he's being harsh.

"hey, y/n. nice to see you." jake calls from across the hall, exiting his studio with jay and sunghoon in tow. the two of them seem to say nothing at the sudden casualties between you and jake, or the insinuation that he hadn't seen you in a while. heeseung gives you a glance, your hands holding a gift and a grocery bag. "may i come in?" "i'm busy, at the moment." he coughs, ignoring the way your eyes roll. "too busy for a slice of cake?" you hold up a bag in your fingers, and his eyes narrow. he leans back into the studio, his eyes scanning the calendar for any potential special dates. he's not even flipped to the right month, the calendar reading july.

"shit, did i miss something?" he whips out his phone, which you simply cover with your hand. a soft laugh escapes your lips as you lift your other hand, the gift bag screaming happy birthday in gold glitter flashing at him. "oh, man." he moves away from the door, allowing you to walk in. you look around, and although the studio doesn't belong to him, it sure smells like him. it looks like him, it's covered in him, it feels like home.

"happy birthday, hee." you say gently, setting the gift down on the couch and slowly sitting down to unwrap his cake. "i know it's not much, but i'm barely here." you chuckle, tapping your temple as he takes a seat in his desk chair. he's wary, you can tell.

"something on your mind?" "why are you here? i debut in two weeks, i don't need any bullshit." he rubs his temples, and you only frown. "you know, once upon a time, you would've been happy to have me here." your tone is pointed, and heeseung sighs. "fine, fine. i'm sorry."

"i'm the one who should be sorry." you murmur, and heeseung says nothing. he knows you're right. 

you're both quiet, before heeseung notices the candle next to the cake. he rolls the chair over, his fingers carefully centering the candle. "have you got a light?" 

you shake your head no, a sheepish look in your eyes. "i'm sorry. we can pretend, if that's okay?" he hates the way his lips twitch into a smile at your wide eyes. "yeah, we can pretend." 

you sing for him softly, your cheek squished into your hand as you lean on the armrest. he closes his eyes, making a wish and blowing the makeshift flame out. "what'd you wish for?" you yawn, and he shakes his head.

"won't come true if i tell you." shrugging, he rolls back over to his desk, leaving the cake on the table. you just make a noise of agreement, before a sigh slips past you. "i heard your teaser, you know." he doesn't care to react, only giving you a short sound. "mhm?" "is it about me?" you ask, and he straightens in his chair before spinning around to face you. "all my songs are about you. every single one of them." he gestures to a tattered journal on the soundboard. it's covered in stickers, and…a taped photo of you and him as toddlers. "oh."

"i mean what i say, y/n." he rolls his eyes, before spinning back around. "if it were me, i'd never let you die."

but it is you, you think. it's always been you.

"why did jake say it was nice to see you?" he asks, too cowardly to look you in the eyes. he hears your sigh, before hearing you shift around on the couch. he spins around again, only to see you have removed your shoes and tucked your legs beneath you. his eyes scan you, before looking at your fingers. your ring is gone, replaced by a chunky painite stone in silver. your eyes are gently burning into him, and he shivers in the warmth. "well…why?" "before the reception, he told me he knew." you shrug, "he knew how you felt about me, and how i allegedly felt about you. he brought up my mother, and how he felt like he'd never stood a chance." 

"but he did. you married him, after all." heeseung rolls his eyes as you shrug, blinking slowly as you speak again. "we gave it a good shot. maybe i should've listened to all those superstitions, they're not such bullshit. the tripping, the rain, god, the way my ring was too tight." you scoff sadly, before glancing back up at him.

he seems to understand. if he doesn't, he doesn't say anything. sighing, you reach over to rustle the gift bag with your fingers. "you've got to open this, you know." 

"y/n, i can't do this." he breathes out, eyes screwed shut. "i can't sit here with you and pretend like we're all good, like you're not married to the same guy i share a company with. we stopped being friends a long time ago, what are you trying to do here?" "i'm not trying to do anything but reconnect. i fully accepted the fact that whether or not you're with me, you're still someone i love. i spent years trying to figure out why you drifted away from me, and then jake and i sat down at our dinner table a few weeks ago after meeting with the lawyer and he asked me about our friendship. so i told him everything, from the very beginning."

heeseung can't breathe as you get up, walking towards him and slowly sinking into a squat. your hands are on his knees, giving a gentle squeeze before you speak.

"i'm sorry i made it seem like i had no faith in you. i said horrible things to you, even if they seemed right to me, and i'm so sorry that it took someone else to tell me that i'd treated you so badly that day." 

his eyes are brimming with tears, but he looks away from you. he can't cry, not now, not in front of you. 

"you've always been like that, though." he murmurs, picking at his cuticles when you carefully take his hands in yours. he suppresses a sob as the warmth of you envelopes his fingers, "i was projecting. i thought that everyone had to be like me, that everyone had to have a plan. some people are just better at flying by the seat of their pants, i mean, look at all you've accomplished despite me saying such shitty things to you. you're about to debut, you're going to see great success. everyday i'm rooting for you, even if i'm not the person you go home to."

you give his hands a firm squeeze. once, twice, three times. i love you.

"are you divorced?" 

you scoff out a soft laugh, looking down at his jeans. "jake and i haven't been together since the wedding. we spent the honeymoon playing mermaids and crying over whiskey sours."

"i can't forgive you right now." he confesses, making your head snap up to look at him. he swallows hard, "i can't forgive you right now, because i'm still mad at you. for saying those things to me, and…and you hurt me, when you asked me to sing for your wedding. it hurt me a lot, y/n." "i'm sorry, hee." you whisper, your thumbs wipe at the tears spilling from his eyes. he leans into your touch, before pulling away. "i know you are, y/n. i know."

he gently pushes away, offering his hand to help you up. you take it, and he waits for you to put your shoes on before leading you back to the door. "i'll call you, okay? when i'm ready."

you step out of the studio, peering up at him with sad eyes. "you promise?"

he sighs, nodding his head. "i promise, baby."

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[trashcanfanfics]

might I request some headcanons for ford (young and old) w/ a reader who’s a witch (like from the boiling isles) and has their own place in the woods? they’re known as the witch of the woods and there are stories from local teens about how they’ll “steal your bones if you get too close to their house,” but they’re actually really nice and will make you lunch if you stop by.

please, and thank you 🔮

Man, do I love this idea!! I immediately started thinking of a little ficlet/imagine/scenario

Reader gender not mentioned, could be any gender

This turned out longer than I thought it would

I'd exiled myself to earth a bit ago in response to the ban on wild witches. It was easier for me to leave than to fight back then. I could probably go back anytime, but I'd rather not be forced to pick one coven.

It wasn't all bad here. The rain didn't burn, plants didn't move on their own or try to eat me. I loved the green color of the landscape and my palisman, Gretch, enjoyed the fresh air. The locals were friendly enough, and the children were curious.

I'd noticed that they were wary of me and my strange abilities. To combat this, I'd just make warm beverages and small meals for anyone traveling farther into the woods near my little cabin.

It was on my way home from the human store that I met him. A man stuck in the root of a tree. One of mine, unfortunately. In a moment of homesickness, I'd planted a seed from the Boiling Isles near my home, and this particular one was a grasping willow. A sigh escaped me, loud enough for my surprise captive to hear. He turned towards me, seeming to forget his foot was stuck, causing him to fall over. The man winced.

"I'm sorry for my tree, sir." I swirled my pointer finger into a circle of green. The root lifted and moved from his ankle. "He's just a bit playful." I set my bags down to offer him my hand. He hesitated, looking at my hand before reaching up and taking the offered help. Once he was up, I shook his hand with a smile and introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you," he quickly took his hand back and cleared his throat, "my name is Stanford Pines, though people call me Ford."

"Wonderful to meet you, Ford." I picked my bags back up and faced him again. "I have groceries to put away, so I have to go. Try walking in a wide circle to avoid Snipper if you're walking around here."

"Oh, uh, thank you for the advice." He waved awkwardly and turned to leave. I chuckled slightly and went on my own way. Gretch sniffed the air in his direction before hiding back into my cloak. They whispered to me about the stranger's smell as I walked back home.

~*~

Ford came around more often after that. He asked many questions, and I answered. I asked fewer questions but received more answers. He was eager to talk and learn, and I was grateful for the company. Ford became a part of my routine in the best way. We'd meet up for lunch at either mine or his cabin and tell me what he's found. His theories enthralled me. I'd developed quite the soft spot for him and missed him when he wasn't around. My palisman teased me endlessly about it, but stopped once I'd mention how they liked to curl up on his lap as he talked.

He'd started coming around less and less. I wondered what new oddity he was occupied with to take up all his time. Gretch had been keeping watch over him and hadn't seen much since they couldn't get into the cabin. Whenever he did visit, he was...distant. There were bags beneath his eyes, an erratic fear, and paranoia took over his voice, even when it was just a whisper. I was worried and told him as such. He'd stood abruptly from the living room couch, making poor Gretch leap to the floor, and looked at me for the first time in months.

"There's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine, everything's fine!" His eye twitched. I blinked a few times in shock at his outburst. My hands flew up in a placating manner.

"Okay, okay," I lowered my hands and held them out to him palm up, "how about I make you your favorite tea, hm?" His eyes lowered to my hands before placing his own in them. I gently squeezed his hands for exactly six seconds before standing up and leading him to the kitchen. He followed me as I moved around to make the tea. Gretch stayed close to him, attempting to comfort him. The kettle boiled and I pulled it off before the whistle blew. We both watched the tea steep for a few seconds before Ford wrapped me in a hug from behind. His head rested against me as he shook.

~*~

"I think...I think I did something very bad, and you won't forgive me." His voice cracked. I looked up from the soup I was serving to look at him. He was looking at his hands.

"I suppose that's a valid concern. Although, I can't say whether I would or wouldn't if I don't know what it is." I set the ladle down and grabbed the tray holding the bowls. "For what it's worth, there is very little you can do that I wouldn't be able to forgive." I set the tray on the table and set a bowl in front of him, then Gretch's, before sitting down my with my own.

"I..." He stared at the soup. "I care for you deeply, and I don't want you to be mixed up in my mistakes." His eyes were tired when they looked at me. My breath caught in my chest as I stared back. My palisman stopped slurping to to look up at both me and Ford.

"Is that what you're asking me to forgive? You caring deeply for me?" I looked down at my own soup, stirring it slightly. My heart raced as his words filled my mind. "If that's a thing in need of forgiveness, then I beg for yours in return." I look back at him with a small smile. His brow furrowed.

"That's not the point I'm making." Ford ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his forehead. "I've made a mistake that could put you in danger. Out of everything that's happened to me, you've been the best. I don't want to lose you." He pulled out a book from his bag. One of his journals. He slid the book over to me. Gretch leaned over the tray to sniff it before recoiling. I blinked and looked at him.

"Ford, what--" I was cut off by him rounding the table and kneeling beside me. He grabbed my hands in both of his and looked me in the eye, more serious than he'd ever been with me. Gretch, wanting a better view, crawled over the table to be beside me.

"Take this journal and hide it. Take it as far from here as possible. Go and never come back. Please." His voice trembled. "I don't want him to get you."

"Who? Who is going to get me? What aren't you telling me?" I pulled my hands from his to hold his face, tears brimming my eyes. "Ford, tell me what's going on, why do I have to leave? What will happen to you once I do?" Tears poured down my face as I bit back a sob. I'd been so worried about him, about why he'd been so distant. Then he was asking me to leave. Leave Gravity Falls, my home, the only person besides my palisman I trusted fully with all my heart. I didn't want to go.

"I can't tell you. Please, believe me, it's safer this way." Ford reached for my face, eyes flitting back between my own. He leaned in and kissed me softly, barely a whisper on my lips. My eyes shut, allowing more tears to fall. I pushed into him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and deepened the kiss.

"I can't leave you." I said against his lips as we both pulled back slightly. I kissed him again. "I can't leave you, Ford." Our foreheads were pressed against each other.

"You have to." He pulled away and stood up. He grabbed his bag and turned to leave. Gretch chased after him immediately. I watched him go for a second, tears still falling down my face, before grabbing the book, and running after him. Grabbing the strap of his bag, I pulled him back.

"If you're going, then take this with you. I won't be part of something i don't know about." I shoved the book into his chest and glared at him through my tears. He looked at the book and then me before steeling his gaze. He shoved the book back into his bag and left. The front door closed, and I made my way back to the kitchen, Gretch following sadly behind. The soup had gone cold.

~*~

We hadn't spoken in a month. Four weeks. Thirty days. I went to his cabin to see him but his friend, Fiddleford McGucket, was on his way out and warned me to stay away from Ford.

"For your own sake." He said, rushing to his truck, bags in tow. "He's gone insane." I'd still knocked on his door for the next week. No reply. Gretch continued to keep an eye out and told me whatever they deemed relevant.

The next three I wallowed in my grief. Moping around the house, not taking care of my plants, or myself. I could barely brush my teeth or eat. My body odor followed me like a cloud. Days blurred together. Gretch tried to help me, but they were just as upset. Eventually, I had to go out to get more groceries.

On the way to the store, in my sweatpants, hooded sweater and muddy boots, I passed by Ford's cabin flying low to the ground on Gretch. As I looked towards it, my heart clenching painfully, the trees began to shake. I looked around in confusion as Gretch and I slowed to a stop. Then back to the cabin. The basement windows lit up a bright blue. Before I could stop myself, I flew straight towards the door, using my magic to unlock it. Bursting into the foyer, down the steps to the basement, I saw two figures.

There was Ford and someone else who looked like him. Stanley, his twin brother. Ford had told me about him. Ford was floating in the air, waving his limbs around, trying not to get pulled into a giant machine glowing with the light I'd seen outside.

"Ford!" I yelled, running to help him. Gretch almost reached him as he screamed his brother's name. He was sucked into the portal faster than I could cast a spell. "FORD!" I fell to my knees in front of the portal, next to where Stanley was standing. He was gone. My tears became my closest friends in the past weeks. These ones felt different. They hurt more, like daggers down my cheeks. He was gone. My friend, the one I adored and trusted the most. Gone. I sobbed out his name again, looking at the ground, Getch placed their head into my lap.

"Uh, are you...Did you...know my brother?" The voice made me jump. I turned to Stanley. I'd forgotten he was here in my anguish. I sniffed and wiped my face on my sleeve.

"Yes. He was my friend."

~*~

Ford had been gone for 30 years. After he'd been taken through the portal, Stan and I began a sort of friendship. He was brash and rude, his voice was gruff. He was different from Ford in so many ways, but so similar. Our friendship wasn't like the one with Ford. It was less lunch dates and more I'd bring him meals and take him shopping.

He'd convinced a crowd of shoppers that he was the mysterious scientist in the cabin while he was shopping by himself one day. I'd gotten very angry at him and refused to talk to him for a week after that. Eventually, I came around to it, realizing that he does need to make money somehow.

In time, the "Mystery Shack", as Stan called it, became quite profitable. People were attracted to its unbelievable aura. Personally, I found most of Stan's grotesque attractions to feel like home. I'd known someone who looked like the "Eyeball with Legs" back in the Boiling Isles. Gretch was glad Stan never asked them to be an exhibit. Sometimes, I feel as though Stan took inspiration from my stories.

It was summer when the twins came to Gravity Falls. Stan told me I wasn't allowed to do magic or talk to them about the strangeness in our little town. I told him that I wasn't going to hide who I was from anyone, and if he had a problem with it, don't let them go out by my cabin. We had a heated argument about that. I had resolved to not speak, or even go looking for him or anyone from the Shack that whole summer.

Of course, that didn't stop them from looking for me. Apparently, Ford had written about me in his third journal, and Dipper had stumbled across it. It lead them both to my doorstep with a gentle knock on the door.

"Hello?" As I opened the door, I saw two children, tweens, it seemed. The girl was holding a video camera at my face. "Oh!" They looked familiar almost.

"Uh, hi, uh..." The boy ruffled through a familiar book. I realized then who I must've been talking to. This must be Dipper and Mabel. The Pines' genetics must have been strong, they looked just like their great uncles. "Are you the witch of the woods?" His question made me laugh slightly. Gretch poked their head out the door to sniff at the children, causing the girl to gasp and coo at them, holding a hand out. I debated telling them both to leave, but it had been a while since I'd had company. Besides, it was getting a bit dark, and the woods were dangerous for children to go out into.

"That's what the townsfolk call me, yes." I gestured for them to come inside. "Would you like some tea?" The girl quickly came in with an excited smile. She was already petting and baby-talking Gretch. I chuckled.

"Oh, you're so cute! What's your name?" She looked around my living room and gasped. "I love your curtains!" She raced over to touch them before her brother stopped her, scolding her in a hushed tone. I smiled at them before going into the kitchen with Gretch in tow. They followed soon after.

"I'm not going to eat you, despite what the other children might say." I grabbed three tea cups and started the stove. "I don't do much other than tend to my plants and feed hikers that come by." I placed teabags into a teapot.

"So you're...not a witch?" The boy asked. I laughed again and ushered them to sit at the table. The girl gasped at the center piece. A lovely potted plant of flowers Ford had gifted me a long time ago. They were spring flowers, so they had stopped blooming. I smiled fondly at them.

"What kind of plant is this?" She touched the leaves gently. "It's so pretty."

"They're called shooting stars." I swirled my pointer finger in a green circle, causing the flowers to glow green as well and bloom. Gretch sniffed them, then sneezed. "They're normally a spring flower, but I'm able to keep them going with the sunroof in place and a bit of magic.

"So you are a witch!" The boy yelled. The kettle whistled and I quickly went to stop it. "This is incredible! Mabel! Did you catch that on video?" His sister, Mabel, looked at the camera, which had been placed facing away from the plant, towards a window.

"Whoops." She fixed the camera to face the flowers, which had ceased glowing and sat, bloomed, but otherwise non magical. He groaned in frustration and looked at me.

"Would you do that again? For the camera?" He gestured to the technology. I finished making the tea and brought it over, giving them each a cup.

"I would," I sat down in my own chair, "but the flowers are already bloomed, dear." I took a sip and set it back down. Looking at him with a small smile full of humor. Gretch huffed in their form of laughter. Ford had always called me a smart ass.

"Darnit!" He put his head on the table. Mabel reached over and patted his back before taking a sip of her tea. She hummed in delight at the taste and finished the cup in a few gulps. I offered her more, which she gladly accepted, drinking more before scratching Gretch on the head. The palisman leaned into her hand.

"I could do something else for your, oh, what are you needing the footage for, Dipper?" My question made his head shoot up. He looked at me in surprise. I realized that I'd called him his name before he'd told me.

"How do you know my name?" His eyes widened. "Do you read minds?" I was already shaking my head before he finished. Gretch huffed another laugh.

"I know your uncle, is all." I held my hand up to stop both of their questions. "Stan and I are, well, I suppose you could call us friends."

"Are you two in a relationship? Are you in love?" Mabel stood on her chair, her hands planted on the table as she leaned towards me. I scrunched my face in slight disgust even thinking about being with Stan. My palisman sneezed and shook their head.

"Absolutely not." I huffed and rolled my eyes. "Not even if he begged." The very idea of Stan being who I came home to made me very uncomfortable. Besides...I still dreamed of Ford. I regretted that our first and only kiss was when he was leaving. Maybe if I'd been braver in the beginning, said something sooner, he'd still be here. Maybe it'd have chased him away earlier than he did.

"Um, witch...sir? Ma'am? Sma'mir?" Mabel's voice drew me out of my reverie. I blinked and looked at her. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Pardon, I was leagues away. Did you say something, dear?" I looked at the clock to see the time. "Oh, that might have to wait. You two need to get home." I stood and ushered them to the living room where I grabbed my warmest shawls. They would have to do, my coats were buried in the hall closet. I wrapped one around Mabel, as she was the closest, so that it covered her head. when I turned to do the same to Dipper, he refused.

"I'll be fine, I don't need it." He held up his hands and I put mine on my hips. My eyebrow arched as I gave him a look that said this wasn't an argument. Gretch went behind him and gently nudged him towards me.

"It gets cold at night, especially in the woods." I quickly threw it over his shoulders and over his head like his sister. Mabel giggled as she pointed the camera at us. Dipper's frown deepened as his cheeks reddened. "I won't have you catch a chill on my watch. It'll just be another thing for Stan to b-ahem, yell about." With them properly bundled, I wrapped myself up and had Gretch turn into a staff. Both children gasped.

"I definitely got that on video." Mabel said as I waved them both to get on. Mabel in front of me and Dipper behind, I took off, up and over the trees. The twins both yelled out, though I suspected for different reasons.

As we walked up the porch, the door swung open to reveal Stan himself. He looked from both of the twins then to me. His eyes darkened slightly.

"I told you not to talk to them!" He pushed them both behind him and pointed a finger at me. "You said you wouldn't!" His glare matched mine. I pushed his hand out of my face and lifted my chin.

"Children, cover your ears." I spared them a glance to see them do so. My finger replaced his between us. "They were deep in those damn woods at dusk! I wouldn't have had to take them home if you had been doing your fucking job of keeping them safe! No wonder they're up to their goddamned knees in the supernatural of this fucking town!"

"How much did you tell them, what did you tell them?!" He got closer to me, dangerously so. I pointed my palisman staff towards him as a barrier. "So help me, if you told them-!" That made me scoff.

"Oh, please, I didn't tell them anything." I scoffed and waved my other hand to dismiss the thought. "Do you have such little faith in me? After all these years?" A sigh left my lips as I shook my head.

"Just stay away from them!" He pointed a finger at me again. "They don't need to be involved with all this weirdness." His statement made me roll my eyes and I turned to leave.

"They're already too invested in the weirdness, Stanley." I turned my head to look back at him over my shoulder, mounting my palisman. "They won't end up like him in one summer, but if you're that worried, keep them out of the woods." With that, I took off into the sky.

~*~

The children clearly didn't listen to Stan, if he told them to stay away from me. They came around my home every few days or so, asking me about myself and the woods surrounding. I'd been vague about my friendship with Ford, for Stan's sake if nothing else. Gretch enjoyed their company, especially Mabel's. She would bring the palisman snacks and plenty of affection. Waddles and Gretch became fast friends when the pig was brought along as well.

Mabel had latched onto my story of him and was sobbing by the time I'd told her he was gone and I'd never see him again. Dipper also seemed disappointed, wanting to meet the scientist. He'd asked if I was talking about the author of the journals. I'd told him no. Gretch whined at that, clearly frustrated I wouldn't tell them anything. I just shooed her away.

They told me about their adventures and a figure named Bill. I'd sat eagerly by, hearing about their encounters. They had been in danger multiple times over the summer and I'd nearly gone to shout at Stan some more before they said they didn't want him to know. I explained to them that not telling Stan was a mistake. He is their guardian for the summer and needed to know where they were so he could help if needed. They disagreed and went home. I'd asked Gretch to watch over them for a while to make sure they weren't in too much danger.

It was sometime after Mabel's sock opera when the kids invited me over. Well, more Mabel did, with Stan's permission. Though the man had been rather grumpy over the phone. I was amused by Mabel's antics and agreed, soon making my way over there. Gretch sniffed the air and shook their head, rubbing their nose.

"Oh hush, I'm sure Stan can't stink that bad from out here." I joked before knocking on the door. "Should we invest in nose plugs for you?" The door opened before they could retort. Mabel squealed when she saw me and pulled me into the cabin and to the living room.

"You're going to love this guy, trust me," She squealed again, "I'm a master match maker." I laughed at her enthusiasm. She was determined to have me meet someone. The only time she'd stopped was when she'd found out Stan had a crush on Lazy Susan.

"Mabel, I've told you already that I'm perfectly fine on my own. I really should stop ind--" I looked up to see the unfortunate suitor this time. My eyes widened and my heart stopped. I knew the figure instantly. Despite the wrinkles, my dreams made sure I'd never forget his face. "Ford?" His eyes widened as he recognized me. He said my name in a whisper. Gretch wasted no time in throwing themselves at him, circling and sniffing and bumping into him. He huffed a laugh and pet them gently.

"I didn't forget you either." He looked up from the palisman back to me. "I'd thought you'd have left Gravity Falls." His other hand twitched, as if he wanted to touch me. I couldn't hold back, I ran to him and wrapped him in a hug. The tears that had been building up overflowed.

"I told you I couldn't." I felt his arms slowly hug me back. He squeezed me gently and buried his face into my neck. I gave him one more squeeze before pulling back slightly to look up at him. Our eyes met and I smiled brighter than I'd had in years. He returned the gesture. "I'm glad you're back." Tears continued to slide down my face and I sniffed.

"You knew each other?!" Mabel's voice broke us both out of our little bubble. "What?!" She turned to Dipper, who'd just walked in, and shook him by his shoulders screaming about how this is a better story than the Dusk series. Dipper, having pulled himself from his sister's grasp, looked at me and Ford, still in an embrace. Mabel ran out of the room to go tell Stan.

"...When I asked if the person you were talking about was the author of the journals..." He furrowed his brows. I hesitantly pulled myself fully from Ford's arms and cleared my throat.

"I lied, yes." My hand was already up to stop him from asking questions or comment on my dishonesty. "Stan had asked me not to, it would have caused problems if you knew." The boy looked displeased with my answer.

"That's what Grunkle Stan said, too." He crossed his arms. "It's stupid! If we knew, we could have helped rebuild the portal and get Great Uncle Ford back!" His statement had Ford opening his mouth, but I was faster.

"Now, that's enough, young man!" I put one hand on my hip and pointed a finger at him. He jumped and his eyes widened. I'd never raised my voice at either of the twins before. "Stan is a ridiculously infamous liar, but this time he did out of necessity. You weren't there to see what happened after Ford was sucked into that portal, he was dealing with the grief of losing his brother and while I'm going to have very strong words with him out of earshot of you kids about rebuilding that machine, it's understandable how he went about things." Gretch sneezed, huffed and then looked away. I raised an eyebrow at them and put my other hand on my other hip. They gazed right back at me and yawned before laying down nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes. They never truly liked Stan. Ford laughed slightly at mine and Gretch's wordless exchange. I turned to him with a slight smile and a raised eyebrow. He only shook his head fondly.

"You're defending him?" Dipper stuck up his chin, ignoring the palisman. "I thought you guys didn't like each other..." A sigh escaped me at that. I crossed the room, pulled out a chair to the card table before sitting down. Ford followed to stand next to me, my heart swelled at the thought that he was here. Actually back.

"Stan and I don't always see eye to eye," I began, watching Dipper join me at the table, "but, well, I helped him for the first few months after the incident. With the portal, I mean. We looked through the research we had to figure it out."

"You helped with that?" Ford looked incredulous. "Why? It was dangerous!" His outburst made me look at him with a huff. Gretch snuffed out a laugh and made themself comfortable on the old yellow chair.

"I was getting to that." This seemed to placate him as he closed his mouth and cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Anyway, I had been helping him, reading through the only journal we had, before I'd looked at everything and used my oracle abilities to try and track down any others. I'd had a vision in my crystal of what would happen if I helped further and told Stan what I'd seen."

"I'm guessing he didn't believe you?" Dipper asked, rolling his eyes. I smiled at how the resemblance he had to Stan in that moment.

"He rolled his eyes just like that when I told him. Stan's always been a stubborn bas--ahem, man." I snickered, glancing at Ford and winking when our eyes met. His face reddened "It's a family trait, I've noticed."

"I'd hardly call myself stubborn." Ford crossed his arms and looked away. "It's not stubbornness when you're right." His defensiveness made me bark out a laugh. His face deepened in color as he refused to look at me.

"Okay, and when you told him what would happen and he didn't believe you, you stopped helping?" Dipper put his arms on the table and leaned towards me, eagerly waiting for the rest of the story.

"Well...not exactly." I looked off to the side, thinking how to phrase my words. "I mean, I stopped helping with the portal, yes, but I stayed until the Shack became more popular. In the beginning of the change, I understood needing the money, but the more ridiculous it became, the more I felt like it was wrong. We'd gotten into a huge fight over it. There's been tension ever since."

"So you and Gruncle Stan were never together?" Mabel's voice made me jump. I looked to see her sitting on the floor and Stan leaning against the yellow chair Gretch had fallen asleep in. He looked at Mabel in confusion. I rubbed my hand on my forehead and sighed.

"Mabel. I've told you this." I looked at Stan and scrunched my nose, he rolled his eyes, his arms crossed. "I have never, and I mean ever, considered Stan anything more than an unlikely friend." I looked at her and shook my head.

"Yeah, they're not my type anyway." He snickered. It was my turn to roll my eyes before crossing my own arms. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, his type is anything twenty years younger and doesn't have enough wits to realize he isn't as funny as he thinks he is." I smirked at the indignant noise he made at my jab. "Or a spider." My last comment made Dipper and Mabel laugh as Stan's face grew red.

"Hey! She didn't look like a spider at the time!" He grumbled and looked back down at Gretch, poking them to try and get them to move. They growled in response. "How do you even know about that?" He looked at the kids and then grumbled under his breath again.

"Besides," I looked at Mabel, "I have my eye on only one person. I have since I first met him." Her eyes sparkled as she looked between me and Ford. Dipper looked exasperated.

"Is he Great Uncle Ford?!" She stood up and pointed at us both. I chuckled at her enthusiasm. Ford looked at her, his mouth agape and cheeks red. Dipper rolled his eyes, but seemed interested as he eyed both me and Ford with interest.

"Yes." I smiled at him as he already opened his mouth, words spilling out before he could register what I said.

"That's hardly an appropriate thing to say--" He stopped and looked at me. "Did you say yes?" He was staring at me in amazement. I could see Stan gagging in my peripheral vision. Mabel giggled and Dipper started writing down on a piece of paper.

"I did." I raised my eyebrow at Ford. "Did you forget about that kiss? I'm a bit insulted." He blinked and cleared his throat, looking away. His face was so red, I thought he was going to faint from the blood rush.

"No!" He cleared his throat again. "No, I just...I didn't think..." His gaze softened and he reached out to cup my face. I leaned in, keeping eye contact as he rubbed a thumb over my cheek. My hand reached up and held his there.

"Ugh, gross. Get a room." We both looked at Stan who gagged again. "At least take it outside." I rolled my eyes again and stood up, bringing Ford's hand from my face to hold between us. He looked at me as I reached up my own hand to bring his face closer to mine. At long last, I kissed him. He made a muffled noise of surprise but quickly leaned into the kiss. Stan and Dipper both groaned as Mabel cheered. I pulled back and looked Ford in the eyes.

"I wish I'd told you sooner," I leaned in and gave him another kiss, "I love you Stanford Pines."

~*~

Weirdmageddon had been concluded, the twins, both sets, safe and sound. Dipper and Mabel had their birthday before saying goodbye. I'd cried as I hugged them. They'd each received a charm of good luck. Ford and Stan had decided to sail around the world, inviting me to join them. I'd told them I'd let them catch up for a few years before setting sail with them. I'd be here when they came back during the summers.

"Are you sure? We don't mind, really." Ford had encouraged, but I shook my head with a smile. Stan shrugged his shoulders with a small smile.

"Yeah, it'd be nice to have a powerful witch aboard." He smacked a hand on my shoulder. I laughed and patted his hand. He moved it back to his side.

"I'm sure you boys can handle yourselves. Besides, I've waited this long." I looked at Stan then Ford. Gretch huffed and sat firmly next to Ford, daring me to try and stop her from going. "Fine by me, Gretch. Go on with them, I'll see you in a few years."

"It doesn't have to be years..." Ford looked down at them with a sheepish smile. "You could join us at the end of next summer." Stan gave a noise of agreement.

"Yeah!" Stan gave me a nudge. "It'd be nice to catch up with you, too." We had gained some of our friendship back during the apocalypse and I was glad for it. I smiled and shook my head fondly.

"Alright, fine." They both smiled at my confirmation. "Send me letters in the meantime." Stan agreed and went to say one more goodbye to his protege, Soos, before getting the car. Gretch huffed and walked off, deciding to stay with me after all. Ford stepped closer to me, gently cupping my face in one of his hands. We both leaned in and kissed. Stan drove up and honked the horn, causing us to reluctantly part.

"I promise to write." He gave me one more kiss before getting into the car and they both drove off. I kept waving until they were out of sight.

"See you next summer." I said before heading back home with Gretch. My heart felt full.

[lilasturns]

SAY IT.

matt finally admits his feelings for you during an argument.

warnings: USE OF Y/N AHHHHH srry yk how much i hate it. kissing, shy!matt.

(credit to @me-writes-prompts for the prompt "i need you to say it. i want to hear it.")

"I'm sorry, I didn't know how jealous you'd be over me talking to another guy!" You exclaimed as you walked up to his living room.

"I'm not jealous." Matt scoffed, slamming the front door behind him, stomping up the stairs close behind you.

"Sure as hell seems like it, Matt." You sat down on his couch, glaring up at him as he stood in front of you.

He stared down at you, unsure of what to say. Of course, he was jealous. Seeing you stand next to another guy just made his blood boil. But talking to one? God, it just kills him.

Ever since you became friends with the triplets, you and Matt grew increasingly close, closer than Chris and Nick. Closer in a different way. At first, it was subtle flirting and friendly cuddles on the couch, then, the subtle flirting started becoming not-so-subtle, and the friendly cuddles became not-so-friendly.

Everytime you would sleepover the triplet's house, you ended up in Matt's bed. Anytime you and the triplets did something so simple, you ended up near Matt. It was like you were tied to him. You just felt more comfortable with him, as did he.

Once he opened up about his anxiety with you, your relationship changed. You two were always together, side by side, everywhere you guys went. The fans started to notice, too, and so did Chris and Nick.

Matt never realized he had feelings for you until a few months ago. He wasn't sure you were aware of them, because you weren't. But you liked him. God, maybe even loved him. You weren't sure if he was aware of them, because he wasn't.

Your feelings for each other stayed secret, and you tried to move on, believing that Matt and you were just friends.

And here you two are, just arriving back at his place after a party you two attended together. Matt picked a fight in the car, claiming 'he didn't want to see you get hurt' because 'he knows how those type of guys are.'

He sighed and took a seat on the couch slightly far away from you, resting his face in his hands. There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you, as you both were unsure what to say.

"I just don't want you to get hurt." Matt mumbled, removing his hands from his face, but still looking down at his lap.

"I can protect myself." You defend, staring down at your own lap, fiddling with your fingers.

"I know," he replies. "I just- I want to be the one to protect you."

Your head shoots up, turning over to look at him. He's still looking down at his lap, his left leg bouncing up and down.

"I want to be the one who's there for you." He continues, looking up from his lap to look at you. "I want to do things with you. I want to-" he cuts himself off, taking in a deep breath.

"We could be more. More than we are now."

"You want us to be more than friends?" You ask, turning your whole body to face him. You lean your arm up on the top of the couch, resting your head in your palm.

"You know exactly what I want." He answers.

"I need you to say it," you start, "I want to hear you say it."

"I want you. I've always wanted you, Y/N." His cheeks flush with a pink color, his left leg still bouncing up and down.

You climb over, sitting on your knees, next to him on the couch. His eyes trail your body as you place a hand on his thigh, getting him to stop bouncing his leg.

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to say that." You reply, your face inches away from his. He looks at you with lust in his eyes as your own stare down at his lips and then back up to his eyes.

You remove your hand from his thigh and cup his face, bringing his soft, pink lips into yours. You glide your lips against his, your eyes fluttering shut, as he places his hands on your waist.

Your mouth parted slightly, allowing his tongue to slip inside. Your chest filled with warmth as you kissed him for the first time. He moved a piece of your hair out of the way, the butterflies in his stomach causing him to bounce his leg again.

You pull away from the kiss, staring down at his leg bouncing, then glancing up at him again.

"I make you that nervous, huh?"

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Let's Talk About That

And if I'm honest, I just never saw this comin' (7)

Psychiatrist!Avenger!fem!Reader x Wanda Maximoff

Summary: You've lost the Civil War, but you've also lost the only love you've ever known so where does that leave you?

Word Count: 4.4K

Warning: Mostly angst, but some fluff too! Mentions of edging

A/N: Let's dive into Infinity War

July 10th 2016

After a hard fought battle all of us who sided with Cap except for Steve and Bucky were taken to The Raft, a newly built prison especially for us. Wanda and I confined to straight jackets and power dampening collars. Barley able to move at all. The collars and jackets coming off of the two of you rarely. Then just like it was before the avengers suddenly they were testing the stone in your chest. Poking and prodding at it. They even tried to pull it out which the stone ended up hurting them when they tried it.

That is where Sam, Clint, Scott, Wanda, and yourself stayed for close to two months. Then finally on July 10th Steve and Natasha rescued you. As soon as Tasha took off your collar and jacket you hugged her finally having the ability to touch again.

"Fuck..." you buried your face into her neck. Running your hands up into her hair and just being able to touch someone again was a feeling you thought you’d never get to have again. It made you want to cry like a full blown sensory overload, but in the best possible way.

"You're okay, Y/N, you're safe," Natasha whispered, hugging you back. She lifted you ever so slightly off the ground. The weightlessness of it felt nice.

You looked up and saw Wanda being released by Steve. That's when Vision came in, letting you know that there wasn’t much time. Wanda ran to him, hugging him tightly. Just like that, with no more words between the two of you, you knew it was over, and your worst fear had come true. You looked away, re-burying yourself against Tasha as you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes.

"Come on, Y/N, let's go. I have someone I want you to meet," Tasha told you. Tugging on you a bit, but you were more than willing to follow her at this moment. You knew there was no way you could look at Wanda without having a full breakdown and Vision? You might tear him to pieces if you stay here any longer, feeling the anger boil over at him for taking her from you. "We're going to a safe house together. We're going to lay low for a bit."

You didn't argue, but you did look back at Wanda, hoping she'd protest or say anything, do anything. But she didn't. Her hand easily slipped into Vision's as a tear rolled down your cheek. She didn’t look at you, the smile she used to give you was now directed at Vision.

"Let's go, Tasha. No need to stay here any longer," You said coldly, grabbing her hand and pulling her along. Once you were in your own vehicle and flying away, Tasha cloaked and put it onto autopilot, she pulled you into her and let you just cry. No words exchanged for a bit as she just rubbed your back.

"You deserve so much better. Did she even tell you it was over?" she asked. You shook your head.

“She just pushed me away.... I'm sorry I left you that day. I-" She put a finger to your lips. You shut up quick from that.

"No need for apologies, sweetie," You looked up at her and finally took in her new hair.

"Blonde... hmmm.." It was also shorter than the last time you’d seen her a few months ago. You could only wonder what she had gotten up to, but you could only assume she did it because she was in hiding.

"You don't like it, do you?" You shook your head a soft smile coming to your face.

"It's not that... I just prefer redheads," you mentioned with a shrug.

“Well I’ll grow it back out. No more blonde after this, okay?” Natasha asked as if your answer would be the end all of her dying her hair. You simply gave her a nod and moved back to your own seat.

“I still don’t know how to fly...or drive...” You spoke up making the blonde chuckle.

“You were being held captive for two months I wasn’t expecting you to learn.” Her voice had turned light and airy, a bit of laughter coming out. “Here sweetie flip that switch.” Natasha pointed to a switch on the dashboard which you did. “Good! So that turned off auto pilot. Now I’m going to show you how to actually keep this thing up in the air.”

Time Skip

May 2018

I was awoken by someone jumping on the bed, startling me awake. "Harley Adams wake up already! I'm going to have to leave soon and then who knows when you'll get to see this face again!" I hear Yelena's thick Russian accent and I smirk, a chuckle coming out of my lips as I reach out and grab her, pulling her into a tight hold she can't get out of without hurting her of course. She still tries though,

"Mmmm Teddy." I bury my face against her.

"No Y/F/N I'm not your Teddy. That is Natasha's job." Yelena protests, but still I hold her there until she stops and then when Natasha comes through the door I hear her laugh.

"I feel like it was really your own fault Lena." Tasha remarks. I hear her come over to me, peppering kisses on my cheek. "Let her go malen'kiy." I do as asked and release Yelena. Turning now to Natasha, bringing her into my vice grip,

"Mmm Teddy."

"It's time to get up malyshka." I groan at Tasha's reminder, but also release her and sit up. I rub my eyes and yawn.

"I don't want to." I state with a pout.

"I know, but we all have work to do. Yelena is going to be heading out to go save more Widows. You have to work at the office, and I get to stay here and take care of the house." Tasha reminds me and I look over at Yelena. She gives me a small smile. I know she doesn't want to leave us again.

"I'm sure you'll be back before any of us know it." I smile at Yelena, holding her hand. I let my thumb rub the back of her hand.

As Yelena's smile fades into a more somber expression, she squeezes my hand gently. "I hope so, Harley. But you know how unpredictable these missions can be." There's a hint of sadness in her voice, but also determination.

"I'll be counting the minutes until you're back," I assure her, giving her hand another reassuring squeeze before releasing it.

Natasha comes over and sits on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You know she'll be safe out there. She's one of the best, just like you."

I lean into Natasha's touch, finding comfort in her presence. "I know, but I still worry," I admit softly.

"We all do," Natasha says, pressing a kiss to my forehead. "But we trust her, just like she trusts us."

Yelena stands up from the bed, her expression turning more determined. "I better get going. There are lives to save."

I nod, giving her a small smile. "Take care of yourself out there, Yelena. And don't do anything reckless."

She grins back at me. "Wouldn't dream of it, Y/N." With that, she heads out of the room, leaving Natasha and me alone.

Natasha turns to me, her gaze softening. "Ready to face the day, malyshka?"

I sigh, but nod. "Yeah, let's do this."

Together, we get up from the bed and start getting ready for the day ahead, knowing that no matter what challenges come our way, we'll face them together as a family.

May 30th 2018

As you go through the days at the office you’re constantly reminded of your old life that for the time you've left behind. You know it's been two years, but you could never let go of that lingering feeling that something was always around the corner for you. Everything felt quiet too quiet as you listened to a patient talk to you about how their new meds are doing. How they're helping them with their episodes and I smile. Remembering that this is all you’ve ever wanted. Just to help people like this. Yet now? It didn’t feel like it was what you wanted. You missed the action. You missed saving people. You missed Avenging.

"This was a good session Jean. We'll set up another appointment for next week okay? Just let her know at the desk." You smile as she exits and you let out a breath as you slump back in your chair.

Your chest, more specifically your stone, seizes up, as you clutch at your chest struggling to breath for a moment before it passes. Recently it's been doing that. These random bursts of seizing coming from your stone and you couldn’t figure it out. It had never done anything like this in all the years since it decided your chest was it’s new home.

As you finish up for the day you head to your car and head home. Taking out your key and turning it in the lock. As you drop your keys in the bowl by the door and start taking off your flats your chest once again seizes up. "Tasha!" You call out, your voice strained to make it’s way out. You hear Tasha's steps along with a heavier pair. You look up through pain filled eyes to find Steve. As you struggle for a moment to breath, you lean against Tasha.

"What's wrong Malyshka?" She asks worry etched on her face.

"First Vision and now you..." Steve says under his breath as you regain your ability to breath you take in a deep breath.

"What do you mean first Vision?" You hadn't thought about him or Wanda in a long time.

"His stone has been hurting him. He's been with Wanda the past few days and Wanda let me know about it." you bite your tongue until you taste metal.

"Do we know why?" Steve shook his head. That wasn’t the answer you wanted to hear.

"I came here to grab you two so we could head over to Scotland. The two haven't communicated in a few days." You feel your chest tighten, but it's not the stone this time.

"Will you be okay Harley?" Steve asks and you nod. The ability to talk felt foreign when it came to seeing Wanda again. Facing something you’ve run from for years. Though words bubble up to the surface like water boiling over,

"Oh yeah...yeah I mean it's been two years and we ended on shit terms so yeah I'm totally looking forward to seeing my ex and her current synthizoid." You don't even give him the satisfaction of being a boyfriend. That would mean that he'd have to actually be human. You push past both of them. "I'm taking a shower before we leave." You say without letting either of them say anything.

As you step into the shower, the hot water cascading over you, you let out a shaky breath. The memories flood back, unwanted but unavoidable. Thoughts of Wanda, of Vision, of everything the two of you had been through together and how it all fell apart. You can feel the pain in your chest, not just from the physical discomfort, but from the emotional turmoil stirring within you.

Closing your eyes, you try to push the memories away, to focus on the present moment. But they linger, stubborn and persistent, like shadows creeping in the corners of your mind. You can't shake the feeling of regret, of wishing things had turned out differently.

As you wash away the day's stress and tension, you try to find some semblance of peace within yourself. But it's elusive, slipping through your fingers like water, leaving you feeling hollow and empty.

When you step out of the shower, you find Tasha waiting for you, concern etched on her face. "Y/N, are you okay?" she asks softly, reaching out to touch your arm.

You force a smile, trying to push aside the turmoil raging inside of you. "Yeah, I'm fine," you reply, though even you can hear the falseness in your voice.

Tasha gives you a knowing look, her eyes filled with empathy. "You don't have to pretend with me, Y/N/N. I know it's not easy."

You sigh, letting your guard down for a moment. "I just... I don't know how to face them, Tasha. After everything that happened..."

She pulls you into a comforting hug, holding you close. "You don't have to face them alone, Y/N. We'll get through this together, just like we always do."

"Why do you put up with me?" You ask standing in front of her, dripping from your shower. She gives a soft smile, grabbing your towel and helping you dry off.

"I love you. That's why." You sigh.

"But I..."

"You're still caught up on her? I know."

"So how can you love me? Why put up with me? Why me Tasha? We've got a 10 year age differ-" She cuts you off by pulling you into her lap and kissing you.

"Stop. Don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve it. I love every little bit of you. Especially that you still hold feelings for her." She tells you and you can’t fathom why that could be a reason to keep loving you when you couldn’t fully give yourself over.

"Why?"

"You've been through so much and yet you still keep your heart." Tasha stops a moment. "My mother asked me, 'how I kept my heart even through everything' do you know what I told her?" You shake your head, droplets of water flying, hitting various objects including Tasha.

"You. You showed me what it meant to always keep your heart through everything. You always had the answers. Every conversation we had you always had the answers. You always knew what to say, what I needed to hear. You always reminded me of the good. It was all you. So I'm going to love you at your highest of highs and your lowest lows. Your moments of jealousy when a girl looks my way, your angry outbursts, the bar fights you start with the guys when they squeeze my ass. I know you love me just as deeply as you do her. I don't ever question it, even though I know you still love her, you hold me in just as high of a regard." Tears are streaming down your cheeks.

"I didn't ask for a whole therapy session Tash..." You go to rub your eyes, but she stops you, brushing her thumbs at first and then she leans in and licks your tears.

"What can I say? I love seeing you cry Malyshka. Though usually out of desperation from edging-" You cover her mouth.

"Shhh Steve is gonna hear." You whisper. She smiles and laughs against your hands.

"Let's get you dressed and head out. We're going to Scotland and then hopefully back to the compound. I'm leaving Lena a note on where to find us." You nod and move off her getting ready to face being a superhero again.

As Tasha helps you get dressed, her words linger in your mind, comforting and reassuring you in a way you hadn't expected. Despite your lingering feelings for Wanda, Tasha's unwavering love and support fill you with a sense of gratitude and warmth.

"Thank you, Tash," you say softly, meeting her gaze with a mixture of affection and vulnerability.

She smiles, brushing a stray strand of wet hair away from my face. "Always, Harley. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

With her by my side, I feel a renewed sense of strength and determination. Whatever challenges lie ahead, I know that together we can face them, just as we always have.

As you prepare to leave for Scotland, you take a moment to appreciate the depth of Tasha's love for you, feeling grateful for the unwavering support she provides, even in the face of your own uncertainties and insecurities.

With Tasha's hand in yours, you step forward, ready to face whatever the future may hold, knowing that as long as you have each other, you can overcome anything.

When you get to Scotland Wanda and Vision are in a heated battle between two alien beings. Vision is hurt and Wanda is by his side. You push your feelings aside when you see them coming at Wanda, rushing in and using more power than you had in a while as you use a bit more than expected and the bigger one goes flying backwards. Fumbling back through the building you found yourself in, coughing up something akin to blood you could only assume.

"Don't. Touch." Your possessive nature takes over. As you kick off of your feet the ground beneath them breaks away, sending you flying forward to the smaller one. "Run." You say a wicked look in your eyes and when he doesn't you grab his neck, lifting, squeezing as you watch him struggle. "You two hurt something I hold close and for that," You tighten your grip before throwing him like a baseball player would a ball. Sending him flying into the other alien creature before they beamed themselves back up. A low growl coming out of you, breathing heavily as you turn back. Tasha and Steve helping out Vision as you go over to Wanda.

"Are you okay?" You ask, worry in your voice.

"I'm fine." Her voice is cold. Her accent mostly faded away. You simply nod.

"Vision. I heard your stone is bothering you as well?" He's clutching at his side; you take notice that it’s torn open.

"Yes it seems it had something to do with those two." He tells you, his voice a little strained.

"Well lets hope so because I'd like to keep breathing." You tell him and Wanda.

"You weren't breathing!?" Wanda finally has some worry to her voice.

"Yes when my stone reacted to them. It would clench around my lungs. Remember me saying that? The stone has tendrils around my heart and lungs. So every reaction I'd struggle to breath." You explain and you see the emotions swirling, bubbling up to the surface on Wanda. You look away. "Let's go." You take Tasha's hand and go to the Quinjet while Sam and Steve help Vision to the jet.

In the Quinjet, the tension is palpable as you make our way back to the compound. Wanda's worry for you is evident, but the emotional distance between the two of you remains, a reminder of the unresolved feelings lingering from your past.

Tasha squeezes your hand reassuringly, silently offering her support. You appreciate the comfort she provides, grounding you in the present moment. As the jet soars through the sky, you can't help but reflect on the complexities of your relationships and the challenges that lie ahead.

Arriving at the compound, you assist Vision in getting the medical attention he needs. Wanda's concern for him is evident, and you can't help but notice the subtle shifts in her emotions. The air is thick with unspoken words and unresolved tensions.

Later, as you sit with Tasha in the quiet of your shared space, you can't shake the heaviness in your chest. The events in Scotland have stirred up old wounds and exposed the fragility of the connections you once shared.

"Tasha," You begin, your voice hesitant. "I don't know how to navigate this. The past, the feelings. It's all so complicated."

She looks at you with understanding in her eyes, her hand reaching out to cup your cheek. "Y/N, we'll figure it out together. We always do."

In her comforting presence, you find solace. The complexities of your emotions may linger, but for now, you are grateful for the anchor Tasha provides in the storm of uncertainty.

Tasha tilts your chin up to meet her, she leans in and gives you a full kiss. Your hand reaching up to cup her cheek as you slowly move against each other. Its a kiss full of love and passion and you almost don't notice Wanda storm off then Natasha smiles against your lips, pulling away from them to whisper in your ear. "I think she still likes you." You smile and push Tasha playfully.

"You think so?" You reply, a hint of amusement in your voice as you glance in the direction Wanda had stormed off.

Tasha nods, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I know so," she teases, her lips curling into a playful smirk.

You shake your head in disbelief, feeling a mixture of emotions swirling inside of you. Despite the complications of your past, the lingering feelings between Wanda and you are undeniable. But in this moment, with Tasha by your side, you can't deny the warmth and comfort her presence brings.

Leaning in, you press a gentle kiss against Tasha's lips, silently thanking her for her understanding and unwavering support. Whatever the future holds, you know that with Tasha, you are not alone. Together, you'll navigate the complexities of your relationships and find your way forward, one step at a time.

"I think I should finally be an adult and actually try to talk with her." You say to Tasha standing up. She offers you a smile and a reassuring squeeze to your hand as you go off looking for where Wanda went. You find her in one of the small rooms on the jet.

"Hey can we talk?" You ask, leaning on the frame of the door.

"I don't really have anything to say to you." She snaps.

"Well I do so just listen." You say moving into the room, closing the door behind you. There isn't much room in here and you’d rather not sit next to her on the small cot so you opt for squatting down in front of her. Sitting flat on your feet and holding your knees to your chest. "When everything between us started I was only 19 and you were the first person I ever truly let in. When I was going to school that's all I focused on. So you were my first everything and I may be smart, but I did a lot of stupid things in our relationship Wands. I was overly jealous in all my actions and I accused you of things that weren't true because I was insecure. I had my own mental health problems that I pushed to the side and by doing so I threw them at you. I was still a kid and I acted like one. Instead of talking things through I yelled and screamed at you which wasn't fair to you." You take in a deep shaky breath. "Tasha told me that Tony purposefully separated us during the accords. It's why Tasha took me with her. I wanted to make it clear that back then I didn't cheat on you. I'm not that type of person. It wasn't until after we were rescued and I saw you with Vision that I did anything with Tasha." You explain, looking up at her.

As you pour your heart out to Wanda, you can feel the weight of your words hanging in the air between us. She listens silently, her expression unreadable as she processes everything you've said. You hold her gaze, searching for any sign of understanding or forgiveness.

"I know I hurt you, Wands," You continue, your voice softening with sincerity. "And I'm sorry for that. I've had a lot of time to reflect on my actions and the mistakes I made. I just want you to know that I've grown since then. I've learned from my past and I'm trying to be a better person."

Wanda remains silent for a moment, her eyes flickering with a mixture of emotions. Finally, she speaks, her voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability. "I appreciate you being honest with me, but it's not just about what happened in the past. It's about trust and moving forward."

You nod, understanding her perspective. "I know rebuilding trust takes time, Wanda. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn yours back. I just want the chance to prove that I've changed."

She sighs, her gaze softening slightly. "I'll need some time to think about everything you've said."

"That's all I ask," You reply, offering her a small smile. "Thank you for listening, Wands."

As you stand up to leave, you feel a glimmer of hope flicker within you. Despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead, you’re grateful for the opportunity to finally address the lingering tensions between you. And with time, you’re hopeful that the two of you can find a way to heal and move forward, whether together or apart.

You make your way back to Tasha, settling into her lap, wrapping yourself up into her. "How did it go?" She asks.

"Probably about as good as I could hope. Said she needed time to think. Said we need to rebuild our trust and all that." You tell her, feeling Tasha's lips on the top of your head before her fingers run through your hair.

"Good. I'm glad you finally got to say your peace to her. Watching you struggle with it for the past two years was hurting me." Tasha tells you. "Seeing you hurt, hurts me. I just want what's best for you and I want you happy." You smile against her neck.

"I want the same for you Tasha."

As Tasha holds you close, her comforting presence enveloping you, you can’t help, but feel a sense of warmth and gratitude wash over you. Despite the complexities of your past with Wanda, You’re grateful to have Tasha by your side, offering unwavering support and understanding.

"I'm lucky to have you, Tasha," you murmur, nuzzling closer to her. "You've been my rock through all of this."

"And you've been mine," she replies softly, her arms tightening around you. "We'll get through this together, Y/N. Whatever happens, I'll be here for you."

You lean up to press a tender kiss to her lips, feeling a surge of affection and appreciation for the woman who has stood by you through thick and thin. In that moment, you’re filled with a sense of hope and determination, knowing that no matter what challenges lie ahead, as long as you have each other, you can overcome them.

[loganwritesprobably]

I Can't Do This Anymore

Inspired by some chatting about Shanks I was doing with @fanaticsnail and @maritimebird

Content/Warnings: Shanks/GN!Reader, breaking up, arguing, hurt/no comfort, Shanks is characterised as a bad guy/ kind of toxic

Four years. Four entire years of your life dedicated to Red Haired Shanks. He was globally revered and respected, considered one of the strongest of a generation, a real contender for Pirate King as an apprentice and honorary son of Gol D. Roger. He was also a scumbag. It seemed like you were the only person who knew that, though, and frankly you were ashamed it'd taken you this long.

You'd woken up today feeling stronger than you had in ages, and when you sat for breakfast alone once again, you knew it was over. You were already gone, you'd emotionally left your partnership months ago, you'd just been hanging on for the sake of nostalgia, because of the man he'd been at first, who you'd wanted him to be. Who he hadn't been in a long time. Plus, you were finally coming up on an island and the Red Force would be docking, so you'd be able to completely leave Shanks, the ship and the crew. A clean break.

He wouldn't wake up for hours, you knew that now. No matter how many times you'd told him it would be nice to spend the morning together, to be quietly present for each other when you first woke up, he never stirred til after noon. It was because of his drinking of course, and you knew that, but he wouldn't cut back on that either. Why would he do that?

You left the kitchen before Lucky had even finished preparing breakfast with just a slice of toast in hand. You didn't feel like food this morning.

You sat on the deck with Beckman while he smoked, and you explained to him what you were about to do. He accepted it, had even seen it coming, and agreed to help you leave without Shanks clinging on or lingering on the island to try to make you come back.

When Shanks finally emerged after lunch had already been served, you headed to take a shower while Yassop and Hongo helped to pack up your stuff from Shanks' room, wanting to cause as little suspicion as possible.

Freshly washed, in the perfect outfit for the occasion which made you feel confident, you returned to the deck. Shanks sat with Beck, one smoking and the other drinking, idle chatter occasionally passing between them.

"Shanks, I need to talk to you." You said, interrupting whatever they'd been speaking about. "Sorry doll, I was just chatting with Beck, can you give me ten mi-" "No. I can't. This is more important." You said, voice firm, expression stony. "Oh c'mon just a few-" "No Shanks. Not this time. We can have this conversation here and now if you really want, I don't care, but it might be better for your ego to go somewhere more private." You said, and Benn awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, clearly wishing he was anywhere but there. "Go on then, gorgeous, what's up?" He asked, taking zero regard for your serious tone or the look on your face. Of course he didn't, nothing ruffled the feathers of Red Haired Shanks.

"You are, you overgrown child," you hissed, surprised as the words came out of your mouth, you'd been intending on separating peacefully but clearly that wasn't going to be happening, "I am sick of you, and your bullshit Shanks! This? Us? It's over, I'm done. I'm getting off at the next island, and I'm not coming back." Shanks paused, looking temporarily confused, before a smile came back over his face and it made your blood boil. "Oh c'mon, is this cause I missed breakfast? You know I try, I just don't do mornings. I'll try again tomorrow." You'd never wanted to strike someone more. "I don't know why I bothered even trying to have a conversation - I can't even have a damn argument with you! I'm fucking leaving, you cannot grin and laugh your way through or away from that. I'm leaving this ship, this crew - I'm leaving you." You couldn't stop your anger from pouring out in your words, your hands slightly trembling from the rage coursing through you. "That feels like a bit of a rush decision, love, are you sure you've really thought about that?" Shanks replied, now looking concerned for you, as if you were experiencing some sort of meltdown.

"Oh- I've never been so fucking angry. Rush? I've been planning on leaving you for months! I'm so tired of the way you treat me, Shanks. You treat me like I - and frankly like nothing else - matters! You can't just laugh and shrug all your problems away, and ignore my attempts to communicate and tell you when there's a problem in our relationship. I have dedicated four years of my life to you, and most of those years were spent being delusional and convincing myself that it wasn't that bad, and I just had to remember how could things could be. But they never went back to being that good. I'm not even sure they were that good to begin with, you just charmed me with your words." It was a lot to scream at someone in public, knowing the crew had all stopped what they were doing to listen to you, to witness what would happen when you raised your voice at the Captain like that. "There's no need to yell doll, c'mon. This should be private." You couldn't believe him. A wave of unstable, humourless laughter overcame you that you couldn't help releasing, and Benn eyed you warily. "Oh you are so lucky you're stronger than me, because if I thought I had any sort of chance, I'd attack you." You told him, still laughing just a little. It was a cruel sort of power imbalance between you really. "Is that a threat?" Shanks asked, and you pinched the bridge of your nose, the humour passing and being replaced by just.. exhaustion.

"Benn, my stuff is all packed, I'm going to go sit with it until we dock and then I'm gone." You said to the first mate before turning on your heel to walk away. "Where are you going? Are you seriously just walking away from me like that?" Shanks yelled after you, standing from his chair. "Yes! That's exactly what I just told you I was doing!" You replied, but you didn't turn to look back at him, just continued on your way.

When you docked, Shanks appeared to have disappeared. You hauled your stuff from the ship, and hugged the crew goodbye. It wasn't fair that you'd lose your friends just because you'd split with Shanks, but that was just the way of things. They were his men, not yours. You sat on top of a crate, rubbing hands over your face as you shoved down the rising tide of emotion in your chest.

"Hey," Benn said, stepping up to stand beside you, "if you ever need anything.. I mean it anything, just call." He said, handing you two pieces of paper. One piece held the number for his den den, while the other was blank - his vivre card. "Thank you." You said emphatically, and then he walked away, back to the crew.

You sat there, just observing, as the crew ran to quickly board their ship with their small restock, and undocked from the port, Shanks stood on the deck observing you.

The red force sailed away, and you heaved a deep sigh of relief. You finally felt like you could breathe again.

Tags: @claryeverlarkf @uselessboots @cainnoable

[iwasabs]

THIN WALLS

hatefucks are the best way to make up after a fight. you gotta follow your instincts, even next to a room filled with your friends

pairing miya atsumu x fem!reader

content contains rough sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, fingering, semi-public sex, abrasion kink, asphyxiation kink, praise kink, possessive characters, jealousy, slight age gap (feel free to add anything i missed in the comments)

A.N. THIS IS A POST HIGH SCHOOL SCENARIO, CHARACTERS ARE 18+. please read the informations above carefully. if ANY of the contents triggers you, DO NOT read this post. if you're a minor, please scroll. requests on my blog are open.

The noise of the ball slamming on the ground and the screams of joy echoing throughout the gym won't stop pounding your head. The friendly match has been going on for the past hour and a half. As a manager, you're sitting on the bleachers with your team, Inarizaki, and Nekoma and Fukurodani. Every time you glance at Atsumu, you clench your fists harder, remembering the little encounter he had earlier. You've never been the jealous type, the main reason being you never had a relationship this serious, but also the fact that you always dated nerdy guys who weren't that much on the cute side.

Three years ago, at the beginning of your first year, you met Atsumu. He was five years older than you and everybody knew him because of his undeniable volleyball skills that brought so much fame to your school and his innate charm. He's one handsome motherfucker. You two are the definition of she fell first, he fell harder. Being older than you, he didn't really notice you three years ago, but, when you contacted him as a manager earlier this year, he couldn't help but notice how well you grew up. As soon as you turned eighteen, six months ago, you started dating. Since then, you have to push back girls and boys with a bat, because your boyfriend surely doesn't go unnoticed. Now that he's the official setter of MSBY, he and his teammates offered to host matches in their gym every now and then to play against the Inarizaki team and raise the bar. As soon as the news spread, these matches have been crowded with fans. It's a shame the MSBY gym is enormous because it's getting almost impossible for you to contain your boyfriend's groupies.

Today, things have reached a new low point. Usually, people stop at comments about his beauty or his muscles, but earlier, you witnessed a gut-wrenching scene: a girl, probably a couple years older than you, whispered something in Atsumu's ear, then took a picture of the both of them, fiercely touching your boyfriend's bicep. With steam coming out your ears, you ran towards them, clearing your throat.

'You should head to the field, baby. We'll start training in a few minutes.' you said, crossing your arms under your chest and glaring at the skank. She willingly ignored you, pressing a kiss on Atsumu's cheek and waving him goodbye.

He must've heard the sound of your blood boiling, because he tried to say something, but you pushed him away and sprinted to the field.

So now you're here, sitting on the bleachers, enraged with your boyfriend because he's too hot to walk on this earth. When the match ends, both teams sit in a circle, discussing the game together. Your intense staring activity gets interrupted by a first-year student, whose name you never remember, who slightly taps your shoulder to get your attention. He's a very shy guy, but you were told he's got the biggest crush on you, so you always try to be nice.

'Y/n s-senpai, I'm sorry to bother you, but I wanted to thank you for your help with my English class. I passed the test' he stutters, eyes on the ground.

You let out a scream of joy, getting a few people's attention, then jump on your feet and hug the guy tightly. He's shorter than you, so his face is basically squashed between your generous boobs. you smile at his flustered cheeks and wave at him, watching as he literally runs away. A weird feeling on the back of your head makes you turn around, facing Atsumu's face. Every crumb of anger disappears when you notice he's clenching his jaw so hard he'll probably break a tooth. Unlike you, he was born jealous. Even when his teammates and best friends spoke to you, he couldn't stand it.

Totally ignoring him, you turn you back on him and wait outside.

After getting takeout food and drinks, you head to Bokuto's house to spend some time with Atsumu's friends. You two haven't spoke to eachother since the skank-incident and everybody noticed a little tension. When your boyfriend has the audacity to sit next to you on the couch and rest his hand on your inner thigh, you quickly get up.

'What the hell do you think you're doing, Miya?' you try to keep your voice down so you don't cause a scene in front of everybody.

'What do you think? I'm trying to touch my girl, who's been ignoring me the whole day.' his tone is louder, so everybody turns around.

'I'm not doing this with you.' you say grabbing your purse.

You hear Atsumu calling you multiple times, but you ignore him and proceed to greet the others. You're about to hug Bokuto when Atsumu suddenly grabs your arm and tries to stop you from leaving.

'C'mon baby. What's going on?' he says in a softer voice.

'I'm not your baby. I'm sure that whore left you her number, so feel free to call her and leave me alone' you say, basically screaming. you hear the others' giggles, so you try to pull away, but Atsumu picks you up, resting his palm on your butt.

'Leave me alone, you perv!' you scream hitting his back.

He fixes you on his shoulder and takes you to the kitchen, slamming the door.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing, y/n. Why are you acting like a baby?' he says with a confused and slightly annoyed tone.

'Me? A baby? Atsumu, do you know how tiring can be being with you?' you push his chest.

'Everyday a new threat, always somebody around you, complimenting and touching you' you push his chest again.

'I'm tired, Atsumu. I'm fucking tired.' you start punching his chest, until he grabs your wrists and stops you, pushing you against the kitchen counter.

'You're so worried about people around me, but what about you, uh?' he hisses.

You give him a confused look. He runs his finger on your throat, then squeezes your cheeks with his big, calloused hand, forcing you to look at him.

'You always run around in this flimsy shirt so those suckers you go to school with can't help but look at your boobs. And you put on this ridiculously short skirt and these stockings that could turn on a dead man. Always smiling at everybody, playing with your hair or biting your nails when you're annoyed.' he whispers in your ear, his hand lowering to squeeze your neck.

'W-what are you talking about' you say and he tightens his grip. You slightly arch your back, getting aroused and feeling Atsumu's grin in the crook of your neck. He knows you like it. In a split second, he spins you around, grabbing your hair in his fist.

'Do you like that loser you hugged on the bleachers today?' he whispers again. You grin. Let's play.

'He's cute' you answer. He pulls your hair and you let out a moan. He presses himself into you and you feel him hardening.

'Do you think he could fuck you the way I do?' he asks, spreading his hand on your belly, pushing your body harder against his.

'I don't know, but I'm sure he can't wait to' you smugly reply. In a heartbeat, his hand shifts from your belly to your stockings, ripping them apart. He touches your panties and lets out a bold laugh.

'Are you getting wet while we fight, y/n?' he asks, biting your earlobe.

You don't answer, so he moves your panties to the side and with no warning enters you with two fingers. You let out a loud moan, so he covers your mouth with his hand.

'Oh, come on baby. Do you want everybody to hear how I fuck this little brat attitude out of your body? Be a good girl and let me use your little pussy.'

He grabs your neck again, pumping two fingers in and out your wet core. You try to grab the counter to stabilise yourself, but he brings your body back, resting it on his chest. The moment he adds a third finger, you feel your knees weaken.

' 'tsumu' you moan.

'What, baby?'

'Please.' you whine, moving your hips to add friction.

'So eager to come on my fingers, aren't you, little one?'

You whimper, nodding your head. He fucks you with his fingers deeper and deeper, until he touches that soft, spongey spot that gives you the most pleasure. A powerful orgasm reaches every end of your limbs, making you shiver. You look at the ground, where a puddle of clear liquid is staining the floor. You flinch and cover your mouth, trying to get away from Atsumu, but your legs still feel numb, so you trip. Atsumu catches you immediately, spinning you around.

'Look at you, princess. You squirted for me like a good girl. You don't have to be ashamed of yourself.' he says, caressing your cheeks, his fingers still soaked in your juices.

You look down, embarrassed, when you notice his prominent hard-on. He chuckles.

'Would you mind helping me with that?' he asks with a cocky smile, rubbing your cheek. You grab his hand, guiding his fingers into your mouth and sucking on them. His expression suddenly changes, his eyes shining with mischief.

'On your knees, little one' he says, and you instantly drop on the ground, your stockings getting drenched in your squirt. You carefully pull his sweats down and free him of his underwear. His cock bounces on your nose and you grab it with both hands, unable to circle it with only one palm. You give it a couple strokes, spreading the precum leaks with your thumb. While circling the tip, you give it wet kitten licks, tasting his aphrodisiac flavour. One of you hands automatically moves to his balls, the other one still stroking his length, while you put him in your mouth. You feel his breath hitching, his hands pressed on the counter. You slowly start moving your head up and down, reaching half of his shaft, stroking with your hand where your mouth can’t reach.

‘Princess please, try harder. Need you to swallow my cock’ he says, biting his lips. You try to suck deeper, but you gag on his girth, making him even harder. You pull him out with a loud pop, inhaling some air while still coughing.

‘ ‘m sorry baby I can’t, you’re too big.’ you say, cleaning the mix of precum and saliva from your mouth. Atsumu grabs your hair and guides your mouth back to his cock.

‘One more time baby, c’mon’ he asks slowly guiding your head up and down. After a couple seconds you gag again.

‘Don’t stop, little one. I need you pretty mouth now.’ he says with a voice so sensual you feel like the most beautiful girl on heart. You ignore the gag and keep sucking on his cock. You feel him growing impatient, moving your head faster, until he’s unable to control himself anymore and starts moving his hips. He quickly speeds up his tempo, fucking your mouth with his whole cock. Every time he slams on the back of your throat, he speeds up, shamelessly moaning. You’ve always loved how vocal he can get when he feels pleasure.

‘So hot and wet. My little princess. ‘mh f-fuck- taking me so- ‘mhg- so well, choking on my dick.’

The room is filled with your gagging sounds and his moans. You feel his heavy balls tighten.

‘Close your eyes, baby’ he says. After a couple seconds, you feel his cum dripping down your throat and filling your mouth. You plan to swallow every drop of it, but Atsumu pulls out, grabbing his cock with his hand and coming allover you face, covering your cheeks, lips and forehead in thick ropes of white cum. He grabs you from the ground and drops you on the counter. He slowly gathers every drop of his cum from your face, making you suck it from his fingers. You look at him with the biggest doe eyes, instantly feeling him hard again.

‘What are you doing to me’ he says, resting his forehead on yours. you cup his face with your hands.

‘Fuck me’ you tell him with the most innocent look.

He doesn’t waste a second spreading you legs and, hand on his cock, guiding himself inside you. He doesn’t give you time to adjust, slamming his whole cock inside your cunt, balls deep. You scream in both pain and pleasure, grabbing the skin of his back and scratching it. He gets harder at the slight pain caused by your scratches, so he starts moving inside you with a soft pace, that quickly speeds up, fiercely thrusting inside you. He covers your neck in bites and hickeys. Still weak from the precious orgasm, you become a blabbering mess, holding onto him for dear life.

‘ mhg- g-god, ple-please daddy’ you whimper. Hearing you call him daddy makes him spin you around, chest on the counter. He’s now pounding inside you with a wild strength, your boobs spilling out your bra. You don’t usually call him that, but it’s not the first time you notice he likes it.

‘ ‘m gonna fill you s- mhn fuck- so much you’ll have my babies, belly so big everybody will know how well i stuffed you. F-fuck- be so fucking good taking care of our children.’

He grabs your hair with one hand, using the other to cup your boob. The powerful thrusts and the obscene sound of his balls slapping your butt are the last straw that gives you the second orgasm of the night. Atsumu fucks your sensitive pussy until he comes too, spilling inside you.

He grabs your hips and helps you sitting on the counter, with your boobs still out of your bra, your ripped stockings and cum dripping down your legs. He squeezed his cock back into his underwear, adjusting his pants. He grabs your leg, taking off your stockings and throwing them in the bin. He cleans your legs and the floor, while you fix your hair and your shirt. Once he’s done, he looks at you, positioning himself back between your legs. He kisses you, resting his hand on your cheek. You stroke his hair and moan into his mouth.

‘Princess if you go on like this i’m gonna get hard again’ he says, grabbing you by the hips and putting you back on the ground. He rests his hands on your shoulders, guiding you back to the living room, where everybody’s staring at the both of you with smiles and grins.

‘y/n, i’m so sorry about your stockings’ Bokuto says, making everybody laugh.

‘I-Im going to the bathroom’ you say embarrassed, knowing that everybody heard how much you like to be fucked by Atsumu. You kiss your boyfriend on the lips, then head to the bathroom, while he slaps your butt before sinking on the couch with a satisfied smile.

[thefallennightmare]

Headcannon Monday: Matt Dierkes Hate Fuck/Rivals to Lovers?

Matt does not get along with Folio’s new female drum tech. (Sorry Kooter, we’re changing it up for this one). Both of them think they know better with their individual drumming backgrounds and they basically flirt through constant insults and bickering. The other guys think it’s entertaining as hell. Poor folio gets caught in the crossfire sometimes. But the arguing comes to steamy boiling point one night. Have fun. 😈

@thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @concreteemo @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @thatchickwiththecamera @itsafullmoon @shilohrosechicken @klutzy-kay24 @shadowseve @burning-outx @lookwhatitcost @exitwoundsx

SMUT BELOW THE BELT!

You were so irritated with Matt staring down at your work, his breath on the back of your neck.

"You're doing it wrong," he said.

You glanced over your shoulder, pausing putting together Folio's drum kit. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were Folio's drum tech."

"I'm not," he shrugged. "I just know a few things about drums."

You bit the inside of your cheek, trying not to snap at him.

Again.

You'd been working with Bad Omens as a drum tech for months now, proving a long time ago that you knew what you were doing. You didn't need a babysitter.

Something you told Matt all the time.

It had been months of the two of you bickering about who knew things better.

It was getting to the point where Folio felt in the middle of it all so every time you and Matt would bicker, Folio would back away. Not wanting to get involved anymore.

"I would have had this drum kit assembled an hour ago if you'd let me do it," Matt's breath fanned over your ear.

"Do it yourself then, Dierkes!" You bellowed while dropping your tools and pushing past him.

You wouldn't cry.

But you were angry as hell and needed a few moments to yourself to breathe.

Matt followed you as you stormed into the unoccupied green room.

"Do you think it's professional acting like that?" Matt questioned.

"Fuck you!" You spun on your heels. "It's because I'm a woman, isn't it? You don't think I can do my job."

Something flashed in Matt's eyes. "It's not that."

"Bullshit. Why don't you fire me, Dierkes? That way you can do it yourself."

"Y/N, I'm trying-."

You began gathering your things, ignoring him. "This is so insulting. I'd proven to everyone I know what I'm doing. But you. YOU can't get over the fact that I do this job better than you ever could."

When you brushed past him, Matt grabbed your elbow and pushed you against the wall. His hips were pressed against yours blocking you in.

"You talk a lot, ya know that?" He said with narrowed eyes underneath his hat.

"Fuck-."

Your words were cut off with his lips on yours, ravaging them with such hunger it made your head spin.

His hat was knocked off when your hands ran through his hair, pulling him closer to you.

"You're an ass," you seethed before biting his bottom lip.

"And your insufferable," he shot back while slipping a finger inside of your panties, gliding over your slit.

"Shit, Matt," you moaned, your head falling back against the wall.

"Such a little tease. So wet for me," he groaned after biting your neck and slipping his finger inside of you.

The pace of his finger was fast while his thumb pressed circles against your clit.

His simple touch alone ignited the fire inside of you and you leaned closer to him.

Matt irritated the hell out of you but you knew deep down that it was because of the underlying feelings you had for each other.

Neither of you wanted to admit it because you were both stubborn but after months of flirting and skirting around your feelings, it was due for everything to boil over.

"Matt," you stuttered. "I'm so close."

His tongue flicked at your earlobe. "Cum for me, baby. I want to hear you say my name again."

You did.

Over and over again as your orgasm washed over you.

Matt's fingers worked you through it until the aftershocks were too much and you gently pushed him away.

"Holy shit," you said breathless.

He held up his hand between you two, your arousal glistening on his fingers and you watched with heat as he brought them to your mouth.

"Lick them clean."

You did.

Hungrily and greedily.

Matt hummed before kissing you again, you sharing your spit and arousal with him.

Until a voice came through his radio.

"Matt, where'd you go? Y/N's missing and Folio needs her for something with his drum kit."

"I should go take care of that," You motioned to the walkie.

He guided your hand to his hard cock in his sweats. "Who's going to take care of this?

You gave him a gentle squeeze and Matt let his eyes flutter shut.

"If you do, send me a video." you breathed over his lips before slipping out of the room.

[chippedshake]

Marcia shouldn't be out on the East Side alone. She's heard more than enough horror stories from her classmates about girls who go too far out alone to know that it's a stupid decision. But every decision she's made since that Friday back in September has been stupid, so what's one more?

She's not entirely sure why she's going over to his house. He's made it clear that he isn't interested and this just makes her seem like a stalker who can't let go of some stupid flirting that happened nearly six months ago.

When she'd first asked Evie for his address, she'd thought she could surprise him a couple days later by showing up and taking him out. She wanted to wait until he called, though, so she could be sure he'd be home when she passed by. Then the son of a bitch hadn’t called her and months had gone by and she'd gotten pissed.

He'd made it abundantly clear he was into her back at the drive-in. If he wasn’t, why didn't he just reject her? Why make her go through the humiliation of months of waiting?

Now, as she draws her jacket closer around herself to feel a bit safer under all the gazes that follow her trail, she just wants an explanation. No one ever liked her before Two-Bit, not even Randy. They dated out of convenience and he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye when he skipped town.

Marcia's always been everyone’s second choice, just Cherry's best friend, the other one. Until Two-Bit came along. He saw her with Cherry and seemed to really see her. Not a best friend or comic relief or a way to get into someone else's pants. And she let herself get her hopes up like an idiot, thinking that maybe someone who got her would finally like her too.

And then he didn't call her back.

Is there something wrong with her – something so fundamentally wrong that no one could ever really like her?

Oh, God, and now she's knocking on his door and has absolutely no game plan and he's standing in front of her – has he been always that cute? – and his eyes are wide with shock, and she really seems like a stalker, doesn't she?

"I– uh... hi." Marcia looks up at him sheepishly. The anger that’s been boiling in her chest for weeks now seems to have completely disappeared, crumbling into motes of dust that sweep away with the wind.

All she really wants to do now is hug him and bury her face in his chest and tell him all of the remarks she's suppressed during the past few months because once she got a taste of someone clicking with them, it wasn’t the same when they fell flat.

But he doesn't want to have anything to do with her. He couldn’t even bother to call. And this is stupid. This is really, very stupid. Why is she even here?

"Sorry, I– I shouldn’t be here, this is stupid, I'm stupid, I'll go now–" She can't meet his eyes as she turns back around, cheeks burning.

This is why no one likes you. It's not enough that you're weird and awkward and rough and just pretty, not beautiful. You don’t think things through and you're scatterbrained and you're so fucking stupid, it's a wonder Randy even put up with you for so long–

"Wait, Marcia!" Marcia's head jerks up to find Two-Bit jogging towards her. "I don't..." His hand comes up – to run through his hair, to touch her face – but stops midway "I don't think it was stupid. You comin' here. I also don't think you're stupid."

He's close to her. Close enough to see unshed tears she hasn't been able to suppress. Close enough to the see the bags under her eyes from worrying about what to do. Close enough for her to count his freckles, if she wanted to. Close enough for anyone walking by to easily misinterpret the scene they're seeing.

Neither of them step back.

"That’s just 'cause o' the aliens controllin' your mind. You ain't worn your aluminum hat today, right?" Her delivery's off and it doesn't land how she wants it to. It's hard for a joke to sound funny when you're holding back tears.

"I think the one thing me an' the aliens can agree on is that you're better'n most of this town gives you credit for."

It isn't the first time Two-Bit's complimented her, – he used far too many stupid pick-up lines that night they'd met, and about the first thing he'd said to her was that she was sharp – but it is the first time he's said it in earnest, not a hint of wit in his tone. She's almost too surprised to remember why she's there.

"The aliens tell ya not to call me, then?" The dust motes of anger are swept up by a gust of wind and concentrated again, building up to their former glory and crashing down in a final show of power. "Or was that all you?"

Two-Bit raises an eyebrow, trying to seem nonchalant. It's strange that she can read him well enough to notice the subtle surprise as easily as if it were written in bold across his forehead.

"That– that was your real number?"

Marcia makes a sound that's something between a bark of laughter and a scoff. "Of course it was my real number. What, you think I'd give you a phony?"

"Oh, like it was stupid to think you wouldn't give a grease like me your number."

"I wouldn't give my number to a grease like Da��� that Shepard boy, but I'd say so to his face," Marcia snaps, and Two-Bit winces at her slip-up. "And I most certainly would give a 'grease like you' my number, because I liked you and I said I would, an' for all the stupid rumours you can hear 'bout me, there ain't a single one 'bout me not keepin' my word."

His smile is crooked and he's raised an eyebrow and Marcia knows she's in trouble in more ways than one before he even opens his mouth.

"Liked me? Not anymore, then. I guess you just came all the way 'round here to tell me how much you don’t care about me."

She cracks a grin of her own because maybe she should still be mad at him but how is she supposed to, when there's that gap between his teeth and that sparkle in his eyes and that tilt to his grin? "Yeah. Can't stand ya, actually."

"I reckon I could change that."

Marcia raises an eyebrow. "You do, do you?"

"How's seven this Saturday?"

"You gonna pick me up or am I gonna hafta walk all the way over here again?"

"You gonna give me your real number or am I gonna hafta go to school just to see you again?"

They're smiling so wide they must look insane to anyone passing by, but neither of them minds as Marcia scribbles her number down onto a piece of paper and gives it over to him.

"Don’t lose it this time."

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

What once was.

Alex Keller × Reader. ( Code name/ nickname: Boomslang)

Your heart broke when he decided to follow someone else, now you have the chance to prove to yourself you don't love him anymore.

Warning: spelling or grammatical errors.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

- NO.

- Excuse me?

Everybody in the room looked at you, you never complained or went against your Captain's orders but this time you needed to.

- Y/N, it's not a suggestion, it's an order.

- I know, and I'm sorry but I can't do it Sir. I refuse to do it.

Price made a movement with the head to indicate to the boys to leave the room, Soap smirked and whispered at you «You're in serious troubles little one» while Ghost and Kyle dragged him out of the room.

Price wasn't happy but neither was angry, he knows the reason for your refusal to follow the plan. He pointed to the chair in front of you.

- Listen Y/n, I know this is hard for you, I know how you feel about this situation but I think it's time to make peace with the past. You have to learn to separate the job and the feelings.

You can't believe what you're listening to, but you will try to escape this situation.

- That is what is all about, are you trying to give me a lesson? I learned my lesson very well Sir, there's no ne...

- Good, then take this mission as the opportunity to prove to me you left all behind or you will stay at the base to make boring inventory and paperwork. You decide.

Fuck, for a moment you considered the idea to stay at the base, it's better than see that idiot. Alex Keller, the man who broke your heart, the name that provoked you nausea and made your blood boil, He fell in love with Farah and stayed with her 'to help', how kind and considerate of him you thought, you weren't in a relationship but fuckin hell, it was clear that you loved him, everybody noticed it even you thought he knew it, you realized that In fact he didn't, he told you he wouldn't go back with you and the rest of the boys because he would go wherever Farah went, that was the end for you, you say goodbye to Alex and never spoke to him again, he tried, you were like his best friend but you never attended his calls or replied to his messages, you were depressed, distant and distracted, your mind was everywhere but here in the present, Price and you had a serious conversation about it, he sent you home to take a few days, weeks or months. You went back after three months, those three months were full of food, alcohol, mountains, rides in your 1970 red maverick until you decided you wouldn't risk your career and place with the 141 just for a man.

That was a long time ago, you're better now, and like Price said, this was the opportunity to prove it, not only to Price, you will prove it to yourself too.

The helicopter left you far enough from Alex and Farah's location, you walked for almost one hour until your radio issued a sound.

- Echo 3-1 and Kilo, reporting.

Ah... Fuckin hell, you can do this Y/N.

- Here's Boomslang, arriving at your location Echo 3-1.

- Copy.

And there he is, smiling at you as if nothing happened, calm down, breath, as soon you finish your job you will go home, it's easier to say it than do it though.

- Y/N! How long!

- Keller, Farah.

You smiled kindly at her, it is not her fault and you won't blame her or treat her wrong, she returned the smile and both started to talk, poor Alex, was in silence nodding and barely speaking.

- Well, Price told me someone stole your resources and sent me here to support you so... I'm at your service Kilo.

- I appreciate the help, It should be easy, Alex will put some smoke grenades around, just as a distraction, you will cover me, once Alex drops the last smoke grenade, you will join us

- Sure, let's do this.

Farah is actually kind, smart, brave and pretty, you're excited to be in action with her.

- Good, Echo, let's go.

She started to walk leaving you and Alex behind. You walked in silence until he started to talk.

- Why are you being so cold? I haven't seen you in awhile and I was expecting a little more enthusiasm or something.

- Echo, let's focus on the mission, you actually should be further than Kilo and me, since you're the one who will drop the smoke grenades.

You were right, he went back to the silence and Walked faster, you thanked the universe for being on your side and didn't make you spend much time with him, It is easy to focus on the job but you realized it wasn't easy to think about the fact that Alex will want answers, an explanation about your attitude, you weren't ready to talk about the feelings you had for him and how heartbroken he left you.

- Boomslang to Kylo and Echo. I'm in position, ready to clean your path.

- Here's Echo 3-1, I copy you Boomslang, I'm ready too.

- Kylo to Eco and Boomslang, let's have some fun, good luck.

All was quick, you discovered you worked really well with them, the job was done with no setbacks, Farah thanked you and left you and Alex alone while she was on a call with Price.

- You're a great sniper y/n...

- Thanks.

«Ahhh...» he exhaled with annoyance.

- Okay, I... I can't with this. Now that the mission is done, will you please explain to me this attitude, you... Became a fuckin stranger and it's unfair... I...

- Unfair? You think I'm being unfair? You... Stayed here, in this place without considering our friendship or my feelings, you're the one who decided to leave me behind.

You're not yelling at him, you're not sad, you're being cold, after all, those are the facts, he didn't care about you.

- You're the one who abandoned me, you erased me of your life, I tried y/n! I called you, I texted you, I tried and you never replied! Now that we're face to face, tell me, tell me what makes you hate me so much, come on, tell me!

You're so angry that you're not considering the consequences of your actions or words, your anger is boiling.

- Do you really wanna know?

- Yes, please!! Say all you want to say!

- Fine, I hate you because you left, I hate you because you broke my heart, I hate you because you fell in love with someone else who actually is too busy to notice you, I hate you because I showed you my feelings in every chance I had and you never saw it, I hate you because I loved you with every little inch of me, loved you so much that all my body hurts!

The tears appeared, he tried to hug you but you pushed him away, this is not what you planned, it was supposed you wouldn't lose control, you took a deep breath, he stayed in silence, just waiting for you to calm down, you dry your tears And turned to face him one more time.

- I'm... I'm really sorry y/n, I can swear to you that I didn't know about your feelings. Please forgive me, if I knew I wouldn't...

You interrupted and smiled at him the best you could.

- It's fine Alex, don't say more. I just hope at the end of the day you feel happy with the decisions you took that day, I really mean it... I learned to live with a broken heart, I hope you learn to live with the memories of what we once shared, because that won't ever come back.

«Boomslang, the helicopter is landing, hurry up!» your radio spoke. You took your backpack and looked at Keller, there were a lot of emotions in his eyes you would love to run and hug him one last time but no, you started to walk, and just how he left you once, it's you who leaves him this time.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

Hi. Can I request something fluff and domestic for inui x fem!reader? Maybe a bit spicy at the end if you want to ☺️

Hello! Sorry this took a few days! Yes! I love him so much and yet I've never written for him. So thank you for bringing me around to this side of TokRev. I thought I was getting tired of writing for m'boys but it turns out I was just tired. Who knew. So, I hope this is domestic enough for you? I can't think of many more "fun" domestic things than getting a kitten. Dishes and laundry are domestic but they suck. So I opted for cute/domestic. Enjoy!!

You had your back to the sliding glass door as you bent over to feed the kitten her tiny little bowl of food. "Come now, Kazan. Eat up b'fore your daddy gets home and yells at me for having you. Let alone, in here."

Inui was not convinced he would allow you to get a kitten. After all, you had only moved in 3 months ago and things were still getting straightened out. He wasn't hard to live with, per se. He had a way of doing things ... and that was fine. But you had a way of doing things, too. It was all a bit of a learning curve.

The two of you loved each other and really, at the end of the day when you're crawling into bed, that's what it boils down to.

But this kitten thing ... well. Inui was adamant he wasn't going to be able to deal with a pet. He worried about the mess and the time. He didn't want to have to take care of something else when he was already trying to take care of the other day to day crap.

"Don't worry, Kazan," you murmured, scratching the soft spot behind her ears. "We'll find a way to make it work."

In the meantime, you'd been sneaking her food when he wasn't home. You knew it was a terrible idea and if Inui ever found out, there would be hell to pay. But you couldn't help it. She was so small and adorable and she just looked at you with those big green eyes that stood out from her bright orange coat and you melted.

You had first found her on your back porch a few days ago and you'd been trying to keep her hidden.

As you stood up, you heard the front door open. "Shit."

Inui walked in, still dressed in his work clothes, his hair tucked behind his ears. He was so handsome, even when he looked tired and annoyed.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, trying not to sound panicked.

"I forgot my lunch. I had to come back for it." He looked at you from behind the fridge door, already knowing you were up to something. That you were trying to hide something from him.

He walked up to you, his eyes narrowing as he peered over your shoulder. "What are you hiding back there?"

"Nothing!" you squeaked. "I was just ... tidying up!"

Inui crouched down and scooped up the tiny kitten, who was rubbing against his leg, purring loudly.

"You got a cat?" he asked, holding her up and staring into her eyes.

"HOW - OH MY GOD! She must've come in on your boot! Look what you've done, Seishu! Tch ... and you told me no for so long. I - I really ... am just so disappointed in you right now." You were trying so hard not to smirk but he always saw right though your shit.

"Don't bullshit a bullshitter, princess. You think I don't know what goes on in my own home? Hm?" He placed the kitten back down and she immediately started nosing at his pants leg.

"So you're not mad?" you asked hopefully.

"Of course I'm mad," he said, looking down at you, his eyes squinted. But he couldn't help that little sparkle that lived there for you - and usually, you got what you wanted.

"Just a little mad?" you asked, running your finger along his collar bone, down his tie, all the way to his belt. "Not so mad that you don't wanna talk about it?"

He leaned into you, his breath hot against your skin, his voice low and husky. "Oh, I can talk about it with you, sweetheart." He bit at your neck softly.

You slid your hand down to his stomach and rubbed them around his waist to his back.

"Good! So we can keep her? Her name is Kazan. It means vol-" you started.

"Yes yes. Volcano. I know what it means, y/n." He chuckled. "And I didn't say we could keep h-."

"Come on, Seishu. She's so cute! Look at her. Look at her little paws!" You held up the tiny kitten, making her talk to him. "Hewwo, I'm duh chootest kitteh in duh wur-uhld. Don't you agwee?" He just stood there, looking at you like you were a total idiot, and he sighed.

"Alright fine. But you're in charge of her."

"YES!" You began to prattle off things at an incomprehensible speed, "Ok, we gotta go shopping for a little bed for her and we need to get her toys and a brush and another bed for our room. Do you think she should have a little blanket for the couch and the recliner? What about letting her outside? I don't think we should let her outside. There are too many dogs in the neighborhood. Do you love her? I think she loves you. Sei? What do you think about her? Look at her sitting at your feet! Eeeee she's the cutest thing I've ever seen! SEI!??"

He knelt down and picked her up, holding her close to his chest. She climbed up onto his shoulder, licked his ear once and settled down, closing her eyes for a kitten nap.

You pulled out your cellphone and took a picture before he could see what you were doing and he could pull Kazan down to hide the fact that he was falling in love with her, too.

"She loves you. And so do I. Now come on, put her down so we can go shopping!"

"Aht! I think you need to thank me first, there, sweetheart."

"You think so, huh?" You leaned in to kiss him, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling away. "I don't want to disturb the kitten. But later ... after she's asleep, I'm all yours."

@katshimizuu @kazutora-kurokawa @viburnt @darkstarlight82 @southside-otaku @arlerts-angel

[thedeviltohisangel]

“Are you actually blushing?” “No! Shut up.” & “awww did I flustered you?” For Cass/Bucky please

BLUSHING PROMPT ERA

when you all aren't requesting pow camp angst, you all want more of cass and the egan family. my gift to my few fluff lovers.

Penelope's wails had quieted to tired little whimpers as John paced around the backyard of his childhood home. Her and her brother had been perfectly well behaved on the flight from Virginia to Wisconsin but while Gale had fallen asleep during his bedtime bottle, Penny had decided to test the capacity of her lungs in the midwestern air.

"It's okay, my sweet girl. I know you've had a long day. You must be so tired," John cooed to his baby daughter as he bounced her gently. Her teary eyes were looking up at the stars as he pressed gentle kisses to the side of her head. He hoped Cass had fallen asleep. They both had been running on empty since they became parents three months ago.

"Coming out here always use to work when you were as little as her." John turned to see his mother standing in the doorway to the back of the house, watching her son and granddaughter with a smile on her face.

"Did she wake you? I'm sorry, ma, I tried to get her out here as quick as I could." His mother shook her head and reached for her granddaughter, John passing her off and collapsing into a lawn chair as she took over the calming, rocking movements he had been trying for what felt like hours.

Penelope looked at her grandmother with curiosity and slowly went silent as she grew comfortable in her arms. "How come you and my wife can just look at them and they stop crying but they make me work for it all night?"

"Maternal instinct, Johnny. Cassandra seems to be adjusting to motherhood quite well." John nodded as he took the sleeping baby back from his mother and held her against his chest.

"She's a natural. Barely blinked when the doctors said there was another one right behind Penny." John had been in the hallway raging at the medical staff that was trying to keep him from seeing his wife. His mother didn't need to know that part.

"And you? I remember that one summer you helped with a baseball team, you were so good with them."

"I think I'm getting the hang of it. The half of them they get from me is causing us the most problems but that is to be expected." His mother laughed and he let it wrap around him like a hug. "I never thought about a future that looked like this until I fell in love with her." John kissed the top of his daughter's head and pressed his finger into her little palm that was resting against his chest, her fingers curling around his and his heart skipping a beat.

"I'm glad. I was worried after the last time you were here." His mother hadn't mentioned their time in Wisconsin when she had come with his sisters to South Carolina for the wedding but that doesn't mean she hadn't thought about it.

"That was...we were in a dark place. I didn't mean for it to boil over here but I saw that photo and got that letter and..." He hugged his daughter tighter. He had stormed out of his parents house that night without his wedding band. With the intent of helping Cass book a one way trip to South Carolina to be rid of him and their marriage and the mess he was causing in her life. Had said a million things he regretted and had drank himself to oblivion at the local bar over the idea that he had finally fucked up enough to lose her.

"But now you've got these little blessings. And that absolutely wonderful little dog, John, he really is so handsome." Butter was probably on his half of the bed upstairs as they spoke, sleeping like a rock in Cass' arms. John hadn't even tried to fight bringing him on the trip and hadn't looked at the final cost of bringing a dog on the airplane. His wife assured him it was pennies for the joy it would bring her and the kids to have him tag along.

"Butter? He's trying to replace me."

"Well, I'm sure Cassandra appreciates that he doesn't talk back." John looked up at the sky and prayed for strength. Why did all the women in his life have to be against him?

-

"Oh, Cass, he's such a handsome little devil just look at him!" Gale giggled as one of his aunt's kissed his cheeks and tickled at his sides. "How on earth did he come from someone like my brother?"

"Your brother is plenty handsome," Cass offered with a smile as she adjusted Penny in her lap, the little girl chewing on the foot of one of the stuffed animals she had just been gifted.

"Don't tell me he makes you do all the work during the making part."

"Yeah, John, your wife deserves to be lavished more often than you do!" his other sister chimed in. He poked his head out from where he was preparing bottles in the kitchen.

"You have no clue how often I lavish my wife!"

"She could always use more." Butter barked in agreement.

"Are you actually blushing?" John asked with a smirk as he offered Cass one bottle and his sister the other.

"No! Shut up." It wasn't that Cass was some kind of prude when it came to talking about her sex life with John. She just didn't want his mother overhearing any conversations of baby making and lavishing.

"Did I fluster you, baby?" John nuzzled his nose into her neck to make her laugh as she lovingly looked on at Penelope eating her second breakfast.

"Just got me thinking about lavishing now is all."

"Yeah? You in need of some?" John said, his voice dropping an octave. She bit her bottom lip and nodded, leaning in to nip at his lips. "Fuck. Yeah, I think you need some real bad, baby."

He was never happier to have his sisters around to baby sit than he was on his knees in the backseat of his old car, his wife's legs over his shoulders and his face buried under her skirt.

[crushculture03]

Smutty Matty cheating blurb always

Bad Idea right?

Summary : Months after your break up, you see him again, this time with a new girl on his arm. You go against your better judgment and let him talk to you and one thing leads to another

Pairing : Matty healy x fem!reader

Warning : Smut, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving ) , p & v sex, cheating, drinking, smoking.

Notes : I hope you enjoy anon!

You spot him from across the club, he looks just like he did all those months ago and your heart drops when he makes eye contact with you and sends you a smile. You rolled your eyes in response; as much as you wanted to run through the club and back into his arms, you knew it wouldn't be the best idea, considering the two of you had been broken up for a few months now.

Realizing the only way you would make it through the night was by getting drunk, you quickly made your way up to the bar. "I'll have a vodka cran please" you order, the bartender nods and begins to make the drink. "Still ordering the same thing i see" a familiar voice says behind you. You roll your eyes as you turn around to face him, "Still fucking models 10 years younger than you I see" you snap back. Mattys face falls as he hears your dig at him, before he can respond you've already paid for your drink and meshed back into the crowd of bodies on the dance floor.

Matty watches you all night, ignoring the rant his new girlfriend is going on about something to do with a fashion show coming up. His blood boils as he sees another man touch you like he used to, he wants nothing more than to go up to you and pull you into his arms, where you should be instead of grinding up against some douche in a night club.

"Matty are you even listening?" his girlfriend asks, "What? Yeah i am" he says as he turns to face her. His girlfriend scoffs "Whatever, call me when you're done being a dickhead" she says, before grabbing her purse and marching out of the club. With his girlfriend now gone and the drinks in his system loosening him up a bit, he decides to make his move and walk over to you.

"Mind if I steal her for a second?" Matty says to the guy you were dancing with, "Go ahead mate" he says before walking away from you. "What do you want Matthew?" you say, "I want to talk" he says. "Talk about what?" you say as you cross your arms over your chest, "I- do you think we could go somewhere private?" he asks, barely able to hear himself think over the loud music the club is playing. "Fine we'll go outside" you say, turning around before he can say anything more.

Once you two make it outside, he offers you a cigarette as he takes one for himself. You quickly take one, knowing you'll need it to calm your nerves. Matty quickly lights both cigarettes before he speaks, "Look Y/N I just wanted to say I'm sorry" he says as he takes a drag from his cigarette. You laugh as he says this, "Sorry? Sure matty yeah you looked really sorry when you had that models tongue down your throat a week after we broke up" you say, before taking a long drag. "She didn't mean anything to me, just a place holder for you" he confesses, you look over at him, shocked. "Matty you broke up with me! So you can't say you were finding a place holder for me when you literally ended things between us!" you shout, anger coursing through your veins.

"It was a mistake I never should've broken up with you" he says, you freeze at his words. "Matty you can't say that when you have a girlfriend" you mumble, as you flick the dying cigarette to the ground. "I don't care! I've been meaning to tell you this for months now" he says as he turns to face you. You shake your head "Just stop Matty, you left me and now after being with other people you realize you miss me? You needed to try all your options out first? You know how that makes me feel?" you shout, tears threatening to spill from your eyes. "Makes me feel like shit Matty. If you really loved me like you claimed you did you would'nt have to go through all the girls In LA just to find out" you spit back, before you spin on your heel and walk away from him.

You hear his footsteps run after you, his hand grabs your wrist and he spins you around so you're pulled into his chest and facing him. Before you can say anything he connects his lips to yours. Your head is telling you to push him away, but your heart is telling you to hold him close. So deciding to throw caution to the wind, you wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

Somehow the two of you ended up back at his place, he pushed you up against the door as his lips attacked your neck. "Matty" you moan as you tilt your head up to give him more access. He quickly picks you up and walks to his bed room, gently throwing you on the bed. "I've missed this" he says, before going to hover over you on the bed. His lips crash againest yours, and you slowly start to unbutton his shirt, quickly tugging it off his shoulder without breaking the kiss. Matty pulls away briefly so he can take your blouse off revealing your bare chest,"Beautiful" he says, before placing soft kisses down your chest, his lips eventually stopping at the waist band of your skirt. Matty looks up at you for permission, to which you nod , giving it to him. He quickly pulls your skirt and underwear down together, leaving you completely naked infront of him.

"Been missing the way you taste" he says, and gently parts your legs, making sure to place gentle kisses up your inner thighs before his lips meet your core. Matty gently licks a strip up your core, you grip onto his curls as you feel his tongue hit you, "matty" you moan as he connects his lips with your clit, slowly moving the bud with his tongue. "Fuck more please matty" you plead, matty obeys and slowly enters one finger into you, his tongue never stopping its assault on your clit. "So close" you moan, which prompts him to add another finger.

You tug harshly on his hair as you come, matty moans as you pull tightly on his hair, and slowly licks up your release, trying his best not to waste a drop. He looks up at you, his mouth and chin glistening with your release. "You taste just like I remember" he says, before crawling towards you and connecting his lips with yours. You moan as you taste your release on his tongue.

You quickly move your hands to his pants and unzip them, before dipping your hands under his boxers and squeezing his hard cock. He moans at the feeling of your hand around him "Fuck, need to be inside of you now" he states, as he tugs his pants and briefs off.

He lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes inside of you. You gasp at the familar feeling of him filling you up, it was a sensation you missed dearly and you were glad to feel it again. "Fuck you're tight" he moans as he bottoms out, he stills for a moment until you tell him he can start moving. His thrusts start of slow and gentle, giving you both time to savor the feeling of being this close to eachother once more.

"Faster" you whimper, matty complies and throws one of your legs over his shoulder as he picks up the pace. You moan at the new position, his cock hitting deeper inside of you. "God you feel so good baby, i've missed this" he groans, "Me too" you admit.

Mattys hand slowly makes its way between you both and his thumb rubs circles into your clit, causing you to arch your back at the intense pleasure you were receiving. "M' close" you moan, "Me too baby just a little longer" he says, as his thumb speeds up on your clit. "Please" you whimper, the pleasure becoming to overwhelming, "Let go baby" he says, and thats all you need to hear before releasing around him. He thrusts one last time, before finishing inside of you and collapsing on top of you.

You both try to catch your breaths before speaking, "That was amazing" he whispers as he looks up at you. You brush a stray curl from his forehead and smile, "It was, I missed the feeling of being close to you matty" you confess. "Me too" he says, before slowly pulling out of you and flopping down on the empty space next to you. "What does this mean for us?" you say as you stare at the ceiling. "I-I don't know" he says, you sigh in response, "You know I still love you right?" he says, "I still love you too" you respond back, your eyes never leaving the ceiling. "Well guess we go from there" he says, as he turns to face you, wrapping his arms around you waist and pulling you into his chest. "Guess we go from there" you respond, your mind and  heart still confused on what this means for the future of you and Matty.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Prompt: person A frequently touches person B's arm during conversations, leaning in close and laughing at all their jokes. person B, initially thinking person A is just very tactile, begins to notice the lingering touches and wonders if there's more to it.

Pairing: Crubbles

Bubbles is touchy-feely from the moment they meet. Finger to Harry's wrist to ask if he has any gum as they wait to board the train for navigator school. Harry gives him a piece, and Bubbles thanks him.

"I'm Payne, by the way," he says, pointing to his nametag. "Joe or Joey, but everyone calls me Bubbles."

"Why?"

"Took an antacid to try and calm my stomach before I tried out for pilot training. Turns out, you can burp bubbles."

Harry laughs without meaning to. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't--"

"Naw, it's okay," Bubbles says, and he touches Harry's elbow this time. He laughs quietly. "It's pretty funny. They give you a nickname?"

"I'm Crosby. Take a guess."

Bubbles laughs and leans close. "Well, what's your actual name? I could just call you that."

"Harry."

"Nice to meet you, Harry. Thanks for the gum."

*

It's four days on the train to navigator school. Bubbles and Harry end up sitting across the aisle from each other the first few hours, then Bubbles's seatmate offers to switch with Harry since they're leaning in the aisle so much.

Harry agrees and drops next to Bubbles, who simply leans towards him again and keeps talking. Harry listens and laughs and tells his own story. By the time go to the sleeper car, Harry's so used to Bubbles touching his arm he doesn't even startle to feel the fingers on his back as Bubbles brushes past him to a bunk of his own.

"Night," Harry murmurs.

"Good night," Bubbles replies, and he reaches out and squeezes Harry's arm one more time before tucking his arms under his pillow to fall asleep.

*

They're a month into navigator training when it clicks for Harry. He's not sure exactly why he suddenly notices Bubbles touching him. Maybe because they're out with a group, and the local girls are gathered around to flirt. They're leaning in and laughing and touching the men on the arm, and when one does it to Harry as he finishes a story, he realizes that, for once, Bubbles isn't the one touching him.

He glances to his left, where Bubbles was sitting earlier. He's still there, just leaned in towards his own local girl. She says something, and he chuckles, but not like he does when Harry talks.

It makes something in Harry settle while something else starts to gnaw gently on his insides. He turns his attention back to his own girl, knowing the gnawing will reveal itself soon enough.

*

He figures it out the next week, when they're out again, but this time the girls have decided he and Bubbles aren't quite as cute as the last time they saw them. Harry doesn't blame them. They've both been up since yesterday, working on equations and stressing about the test they finished an hour ago. They look like hard-boiled hell.

"Naw, Harry," Bubbles says when Harry tells him. "You look like a sunny side up egg, same as always."

And the touch from Bubbles this time makes something warm curl in Harry's belly, makes the gnawing thing inside him go still. Harry looks at Bubbles's hand and feels brave. He leans in a little closer.

"If anyone's sunny around here, it's you," he says. "With that hair of yours, and your eyes. Blue like a clear day."

Bubbles ducks his head, and Harry's astounded to see him flush a little pink. "You figured me out, huh?" Bubbles says.

"Huh?" Harry asks.

Bubbles glances at him again, reading his face. His blush brightens, but so does his smile. He curls his hand good and snug around Harry's arm, just below the elbow, and he leans in that little extra closer. Their foreheads brush just a little. Neither of them startle. "Got a big crush on you, Harry. Have since I saw you at the train station. I thought, 'Wow, that's a handsome guy. So I asked you for a piece of gum just to really look at you, and I haven't looked away since."

Harry shakes his head. "You can't have had a crush this whole time," he says.

"Sure, I have," Bubbles replies. "Why not? You were nice right from the start. Didn't mind that I couldn't stop wanting to touch you."

Harry shakes his head harder, then stops when Bubbles sets his chin. "Okay," he says. "Maybe. Maybe you liked me right away."

"Course I did."

"And maybe I liked you right back," Harry says, thinking of saying goodnight on the train, of the way Bubbles squeezing his arm had felt so nice.

"Well, I'd hoped so," Bubbles replies, and he ducks his head again, presses his lips just above his hand, kisses the spot on Harry's elbow he touches the most. "And I hope you keep liking it."

"I'm sure I will."

[gurugirl]

So I'm conflicted. I messaged you a while ago that I was talking with a guy 25 years older than me. We exchanged pictures and I wasn't attracted to him. I broke things off with him but didn't tell him why. I used an excuse that, while true, wasn't the reason I didn't want to talk anymore. I missed talking to him, so after about a month I started messaging him again. I've never had anyone talk to me the way he does. We text all day, even when we are both at work. We text about everything. Like our lives, daily stuff, childhoods, and sex stuff. I don't think we have disagreed on anything yet. I don't know if I like him or just that he is the only person to be nice and seem to care about me in the not just friends sense. There are so many things to think about with him. He has two kids. I am only 7 years older than his son. I wouldn't want to start out as anything serious with him but I've never even been on a date before and he has been married and had children. Plus there is the whole could I become attracted to him. When I first saw his picture it was an instant no from me but after looking at them over and over again I can see maybe some attachment growing. I'm just looking for any sort of advice. I don't want to hurt him just because I can't figure my shit out. Any idea of how to figure this out? What do I do or ask him or myself? I've never done this with someone my age so it feels even more confusing with someone older. He always says he likes talking with me and is thinking about me. I get a thoughtful message that is different every morning. First thing at around 7am even though he knows I won't respond until hours later. How can I tell if I like this because its from him and not just because it is happening at all? Sorry for the long-winded ask. I'm just very confused and no one in my real life even knows he exists. It isn't something I want to bring up if it isn't ever going to turn into a real thing. What would you do and how would you go about figuring it out? Also I can't remember if I mentioned it in the past but for reference I'm 30 and he's 55.

Hi hon! I think I remember you telling me your age and his.

It sounds like you genuinely enjoy his "company" or like how he treats you and you two get along really well so to me it makes sense you'd want to keep talking because you formed a bond of some sort. But when it comes to matters of the heart that's where stuff really gets confusing. You have established you like him as a companion or friend but you're not attracted to him.

I've had friends in the past that I liked so much that I was confused by what my feelings were for them (I couldn't tell if it was romantic or just like close friends) and in the end it wound up boiling down to me just really really liking them as a friend but it was mistaken for more because it was kind of intense. I'm not sure if that's kind of how you're feeling for this man or not but I can see it happening and I empathise with you bc that's super confusing. The guy that I was very close friends with wound up liking me as more than a friend and I sort of forced myself to want to be with him romantically bc I wanted to keep his friendship and not lose him, and also thought surely I'd eventually find him attractive bc I liked him so much but that never happened and I couldn't get past not having that physical attraction.

While I don't feel like looks are everything, for me personally, if I were to be considering seeing someone romantically I'd need to find that physical attraction after my experience. I don't think you can force something like that or that one day you'll wake up and find him handsome. But who knows? Maybe that wouldn't be the case for you. We are all wired differently. I met a couple a few years ago where the woman told me that she never found her husband to be "good-looking" but that she adored him and everything else about him made him attractive to her (he was also much older than she was).

I fear this is one of those things that you'll just need to try and be honest with yourself about (which is so hard when you're confused about it) and maybe even him as well. Being that he's 55, I'd hope he's not expecting a 30 year old to find him terribly attractive. I bet he's aware that you'd have that hurdle to figure out.

I don't know how you should go about it in your situation. I just know for me I would want to be at least somewhat physically attracted and I don't think it's something I can force. But since you're so conflicted about this and no one else knows about him, would it be the worst thing to talk it out with him? You trust him (it sounds like) and you two know a lot about one another so maybe just tell him how you're feeling. It'll give him perspective maybe and if he's a truly stand-up guy he won't try and persuade or pressure you or anything like that. It'll be more like a frame for him to view the relationship so you two are on the same page, or at least he can understand your view of things. Maybe you'll find clarity that way, by talking it out with him.

Thank you for the update! I hope my rambling made sense and that you can find some clarity in your situation somehow 💕

xoxo

[abloomingperiod]

you | kim namjoon

the streets of seoul never seemed so cool and grey. or maybe they did, but you didn't pay attention because your eyes were always glued to the tanned, radiant man that used to keep them busy.

used to. 3 weeks ago, you would've never thought of that. he wasn't that stupid, no. he wouldn't just pretend he was never there, every few days at times. he couldn't. right?

if only you could've faced it without 1 bottle of wine every three days and tears streaming down your face now and then - daily.

yes. yes, he could. and he did.

now that you realize, maybe, these streets were never radiant. maybe, it was just a sudden, fast ray of light that promised to warm whatever corner it could, even if just casually, but couldn't keep the promise.

as you enter your apartment complex and make your way to your doorway, you feel a thump in your heart that seems louder than the one your feet did to stop you in your tracks.

he is unbelievable.

there he was, standing in his glory, black sweatshirt with the cap on. he knew, by now, how much you liked this comfy look on him, which only made your blood boil even more.

"hey." was all that left his mouth, his gaze scanning you like he was remembering every inch of you his hands used to travel through.

and god, did he miss that.

"hi," you responded, keeping the same frozen posture. it's not like you wanted to move. or could. you felt as if you moved, your body would get out of the shock and simply crumble "what are you doing here?"

"can't i see you now?" that smug, shameless face of his, that used to make your stomach flutter like a high schooler, now making you wish you could tear it down with your own hands.

"are you fucking serious?" you said, your voice already raising a note. please, be cool, you beg yourself.

he seemed taken aback, and at the same time, not surprised. namjoon knew there wasn't chance for him to play dumb. there never was, at least with you.

he looked down, broad shoulders and smug expression falling, hands on his pocket, like a deer caught in the lights.

"i'm sorry"

"oh, you're sorry! thank you, that solves everything out" you retorted, "what the fuck do you need?"

"i wanna talk to you", he responds, looking up, scanning from your toes to your eyes and you swear you had to hold you breath for a second before his eyes met yours.

you scoff, "and you needed to disappear for 3 weeks to figure that out?" you kept staring at his eyes, burning holes in them. "3 weeks, namjoon."

"i know-"

"your friends wouldn't tell me where you were!" at this point, you're basically screaming, but you knew - or at least expected after 3 months seeing him - he wasn't the type to invalidate your emotions. especially in this particular fuck up of his. "why the fuck did you need to come here? just find another fuck and get lost again! you clearly have no problem with that just please, don't fucking pretend to befriend them for that."

"that's absolutely not what happened" he defends himself, his voice now raising a little. "i needed space..."

"fuck you" you hiss at him, your eyes red, fighting the urge to not let the tears you so thought had dried on their won roll down your cheeks, "i never did anything for this to be necessary. when exactly did i beg for you to stay for the weekend, huh? when did i repeated over and over for you that i loved-" your voice cracks at that word, and you catch his eyebrows fall a little, "spending time with you? or.. jesus, when did i let everything and went running to your house because you were sick? that wasn't me, was it"

he looks up, eyes wide and about to explain himself as he tries to approach you, but you take a step back. "don't you dare"

he sighs, but it doesn't seem like an angry sound. no, he seems troubled. defeated, even.

"i understand" he returns his eyes to the ground and bites his lower lip. "people were murmuring about it back at the agency... i know it sounds stupid, but i didn't want the risk of you waking up one day and a bunch of pictures being splattered all over the news"

you laugh bitterly at his explanation, not because you couldn't believe the scenario. that really could happen someday. but you were aware of that from day one, and he knew that. why the fuck did his friends couldn't say anything but "he's okay"?

you wipe your face, trying to calm yourself and keep the last drops of dignity you had within you, "you know... i didn't expect any sort of commitment from you. we both made that very clear from the start, and i kept my word. you changed that, when you decided to act like a fucking-" you don't let the word boyfriend come out. no, you were too proud to admit you were seeing him like that - even though, he caused it himself. "if you would be that much scared, why did you even start it all? do you really don't give one singular shit about anyone but yoursel-"

"i couldn't keep my hands off of you" he says, eyes still on the ground, and for the first time in this encounter, you said nothing back, not even a sound. "i couldn't stop thinking about you, even before all this. i also didn't wanna fuck up our friendship. then, when you called me for that glass of wine, and i got here and saw you in that robe...... i thought it would be a good idea, you know, friends that fuck now and then... i didn't wanna lose your friendship, but shit, y/n" he then looks up at your eyes and lips, his gaze repeating the path over and over again, "you," he seems as if he's trying to find the right words, but all he can continue with is, "you."

"so you did all this shit because you liked what you saw. what a fucking friend you are." now, no tears leave your eyes. just fire, pure hurt and anger. "do you do that a lot? sleep with your friends, make them fall for you every fucking hook up and then fuck off-"

"i can't be friends with you" he responds, and your instinct is to simply laugh nonchalantly at that, attempting to hide the hurt his confirmation brought.

"well, no shit now. i kinda figured that out by myself. are you that dense to not understand that you didn't have to come all the way-"

and then, his tone comes back to the normal, that serene and low one you're familiar with after waking up next to him a dozen times, "i'm in love with you."

if you thought your heart had dropped all the way down the street, you were wrong. now, it was no longer there. it was lost, leaving a hole in your chest.

"don't say that" you your eyes drowning again, your whole body feeling small and exposed at his words.

"i'm in love with you" he repeats, slowly walking closer to you, his arms already lifting to make their way to the crook of your elbows like he used to do to grab your attention.

"stop it" you say, noticing the space between you being closed second by second, but not moving an inch.

"i'm in love with you, y/n" he says one more time, and you feel his warm hands touching your arms, carefully caressing them like you were about to break at any point.

"you're a fucking coward for going this far" you still couldn't believe his words. "is it really that worth it? leaving me like a fucking one night stand and not your fucking friend, before anything? you already got what you wanted, multiple times. go your own way, please" your voice cried the last word, barely emitting any sound, and at that moment he understood it. you thought he was playing with you to get into your pants again, the thought making him feel offended by a second before reminiscing about his last actions.

"i'm not living until you listen to me" he says in a strong remark, a polar opposite of his hands in your arms like his life depended on it.

you keep staring at him, eyes sad and yet full of fury, the sight alone breaking his heart over and over whilst making him panic, and he takes your silence as a green light to talk.

"i'm not here to excuse myself out of what i did, and i know no matter what i say, i hurt you, my friend and..."- he seems to think for a second, staring at your arms and sadly contorting the corner of his mouth, and your heart couldn't be beating more rapidly now. "i'm sorry, and i'll always be for this, and if you don't want to be near me again, i understand, but please, please, don't think i'm saying anything but the truth for you. i can't spend any other day thinking about how and what to say to you, and believe me, i tried. but even when i tried to fucking stay away from you, you- god" he closed the distance between you bodies in a seemingly desperate motion, his eyes now red, "you were all over the place. your shampoo, your perfume, your clothes," he said as his hands traveled up your shoulders, then collarbones, coming back to your arms and repeating the path until it turned into a repeated caress. his voice cracking a bit "baby..." and at that, you start sobbing again.

your mind is a whirlwind. your stomach turns in and out of itself, and just now, as his head is hanging low from his neck, you notice a bouquet of roses hanging on your doorknob behind him.

the night was coming up. after all this time, you still can't process how time flies when you're with him.

you both stand there for what you're sure feels like more than a whole minute, and you feel his hands dropping, much like his head.

"i'm sorry" he murmurs, sniffling and reaching for the bouquet but before he can reach it, your hand grab his and you pull him for the most desperate, urgent kiss you ever had. even more than the ones before three glasses of wine, or the silly bickering you used to have with each other. like you feared he would slip away, like a dream when the morning comes.

his arms embraces your torso like you were something he never wanted to let go off his warmth, as if you were his to be. your hands go through his hair, cheeks, around his neck and anywhere else it could go, your body finally getting the specific embrace you oh so missed.

you part lips for a second, tears less prominent and definitely happier and your eyes stare at each other's mouth, already missing the softness, intensity and passion only your lips together could create.

you smile like two silly lovers, the two silly lovers you were finally showing out to be.

"please, don't leave again" you say, eyes finding his as your hands caress his puffy cheeks. "please".

"i swear," his hands now being the ones catching you cheeks "swear on my own life," he drops a kiss on your lips, "to do whatever i can to reinforce that every fucking day" his thumbs caressing you lovingly, like you were the only thing existing in the world "if you let me."

you smile at him, your breaths mixing together just like it used to, but in a much more intimate way than any hook-up you guys have ever had, "of course i do."

he kisses you in a much more slow, deep pace now. the soft taste of his that you were so immersed in entering your mouth and making your heart flutter over and over again. you both try, but can't stop smiling throughout your kiss, but that wasn't a problem. not for you.

"i love you" you confess to him, and seeing his satisfied sigh, your lips leave seconds-lasting pecks on his lips, as you keep repeating "i love you"s like a pray.

and like that, even with the night fully surrounding the city, every ounce of warmth seemed to have come back to you.