#i did this shortly before his betrayal as well
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phantom-chirp · 1 month ago
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One of the funniest moments from my P5R playthrough to me was when I got Ren stuck in a time loop playing darts with Akechi because I managed to get his 2nd baton pass rank first try then failed miserably getting rank 3 for an hour and a half of reloading the save
While doing so, I had assumed that Akechi's dart AI was coded to only hit bullseyes due to the fact he consistently hit 3 bullseyes every round almost the entire time. I say almost, because there was a single time he got a score other then 150
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He hit exactly 151
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lucyrose191 · 11 months ago
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NO LONGER HIS| T.WOLFF
Pairing; Toto Wolff x Ex!wife!reader
Summary; Toto now has to face the consequences of his actions that tore your family apart.
Warnings; angst, heartbreak
F1 Master List
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You loved him more than anything, supported him through everything and sacrificed way more than you should have.
You had given him your all but it hadn’t been enough.
Your family hadn’t been enough for him.
He had made you feel like a queen the entire time you were married; you couldn’t deny that there were hardships when he was travelling the world and you were left to deal with your own heavily demanding job whilst also raising your son, but even through that you had never expected the heartbreak he had caused you.
You had never in your life thought that Toto could break you the way he did but it was really just a lesson learnt that you don’t really know someone as well as you think you do.
That night when he came home you could immediately tell that something was wrong, that something had happened and so you had put Jack to bed early before going back downstairs to ask him what the problem was.
You would never forget the words he muttered that night, they still replayed in your head over and over again, tormenting you sleep and acting like a rain cloud hovering over your head as you tried to go about your day.
"I slept with Lara."
Your heart had dropped as he spoke those words, it was as though the entire world had came crashing down onto your body.
You knew Lara.
Lara, his assistant that had looked you straight in the eye each time they spoke and treated you with nothing but kindness.
She had been very kind. Kind enough to fuck your husband.
You didn’t speak, simply stared at him as you processed the situation. Strangely, you didn’t feel anger, you felt many things; sadness, disappointment, loads and loads of betrayal but no anger because you were never one to get angry. Seemingly even when the man in front of you had torn your family apart.
The remorse was clear as day on his face but it made you feel nothing, you had no forgiveness for him.
That night, Toto had crawled into your cold bed, his chest heavy when you didn’t subconsciously turn over and cuddle into him, instead you remained facing away for him, body rigid and uncomfortable.
The next morning, Toto had woken to an empty bed and an empty house. You had risen at some point during the night and quietly packed your bags and left, taking Jack with you.
On his nightstand, you had left him a note.
The divorce papers are on the dining table, I don’t want anything so all you need to do is sign. I’ll be in touch about co-parenting schedules.
I hope she was worth breaking our family apart
It had taken four lines for him to realise the severity of what he had done.
It has taken four words for you.
Travelling around the world with your ex husband wasn’t ideal but since your job was flexible, only needing to make the occasional trip back to England to go into the office, it made sense to do it.
It was painful in the beginning, more than painful but it allowed Toto to remain with Jack and you weren’t the type of person to stop your son seeing his father just because of the pain he caused you.
Toto may have committed the ultimate sense of betrayal but that didn’t change the fact that he was the best father in the world to your son.
So here you were, a year later walking into the Mercedes garage, now the ex wife of Toto Wolff; no longer did the team call you Mrs Boss or Mrs Mercedes out of respect to you, it really wasn’t hard for them to understand what had happened since shortly after Toto fired his assistant the news of your divorce became public.
Sometimes members of the team still couldn’t look at him without wanting to punch him in the face or question what the fuck was wrong with his brain to cause him to lose the kindest woman in the world.
It had been shocking to them when they heard the news of the two of you parting ways, after seeing you interact as a couple over the years, they witnessed nothing but unconditional love and happiness but it just shows that you never really know what’s happening behind closed doors.
You were greeted by a series of smiles and hellos, the team loved you to pieces as you always treated them with the utmost respect and politeness, even offering to help with what you had the skill set for.
You glanced around the garage, easily setting your eyes on Toto’s 6ft 5 frame, immediately walking in his direction, Jack resting on your hip with his head on your shoulder.
It still hurt to see him after all of the time spent apart and getting over him, you were aware that you would always love him but even still the heartbreak would possibly never leave and you knew it was time for you to move on from what you thought was a great love, it was time for you to start over and put yourself first.
Bono noticed you walking over and quickly excused himself from his boss to give you privacy.
Toto turned and saw you walking over to him, still as beautiful as ever, even more so with your handsome little boy by your side, his bag on your shoulder.
"Hey," he greeted, reaching his arms out for Jack who leaned forward into him.
Everytime Toto looked at you he was slapped in the face with guilt, knowing he deserved to feel more than that for the pain he caused you.
"Hi, are you positive you’re able to have him here? I know how busy you can get around here." You asked for the hundredth time in the past couple of days.
"Don’t worry, everyone loves him here and I’m not too busy today so we’ll be fine. What are you doing anyways?" You barely asked him to have Jack during her scheduled hours, you always had him when you were meant to have him, unlike Toto who was always rearranging times.
"I’m going on a date and didn’t want to leave him with just anyone, I was going to cancel if you couldn’t so I’m glad you can, I really appreciate it." You smiled, a tad excited for the date, not noticing the way Toto had stiffened because of your words.
I’m going on a date.
I’m going on a date.
I’m going on a date.
"I should really get going, the last thing I want is to be late. I’ll pick him back up straight after, thanks again." He zoned back as he heard your goodbye but was still riddled with shock to say anything and by the time he had registered everything you had already started walking away so all he could do was simply stare until you were out of sight.
He should’ve expected it really, he hadn’t, but he should have.
It had been a year now and no man would turn down the opportunity to be in the company of a woman so rare.
"Who’s shit in your coffee?" Toto jumped, his grip momentarily tightened on Jack as he turned around, coming face to face with Lewis.
"What?" Toto mumbled, way too distracted to listen to his driver’s question.
Lewis tilted his head at his boss. "What’s wrong with you? Was that Y/N I seen earlier?"
Toto nodded.
"Right…" Lewis eyed him weirdly. "Well I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone pull a face like yours after a conversation with her."
"She’s going on a date," there was a bite to his words that wasn’t heard very often but the idea of you with another man made him sick.
"Wow! Good for her!" Toto glared at him. "What? You aren’t jealous, are you?" Lewis laughed.
"I’m not jealous." Toto muttered like a petulant child.
Lewis shook his head in disbelief. "You have no right to be jealous, Toto. Look, you’re a good man and a great friend but what you did to her was unforgivable. She carried your child for nine months, then had to adjust to be a parent by herself in those first five months because you’re always working and you payed her back by sleeping with your assistant. You lost one hell of a woman, she’s one of a kind, you really cannot be surprised that she’s been asked out on a date, any man would want a woman like her."
Lewis was right, Toto knew he was. You were a one of a kind woman and he had no right to be jealous or annoyed by the fact that you were moving on. Especially when it was his fault that you were now divorced.
It was his fault you were seeing another person, he should be happy that you were no longer consumed by the hurt of his actions but all he could think about was the fact that he had officially lost you now and there was most definitely no way back.
You were no longer his to love because loving him had brought you a pain like no other.
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lo1k-diamonds · 17 days ago
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Be as it must 💜 Part 4
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You and I are meant to be.
PAIRING: Alpha!Jungkook x Omega(f)reader
SUMMARY: You're set on leaving, but things never go like you'd wish them to.
WORD COUNT:  2.6k
GENRE: ABO, strangers to lovers, fated lovers, smut
RATING: R (explicit)
WARNINGS: tension and angst
A.N. A huge thank you to @moonleeai for the beta read💜 This one is emotional, and if the last one was stressful, well...
Masterlist | Masterpost | AO3 | Wattpad | < Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >
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It was unusual that you were caught by surprise, but you would never be caught without a plan.
As such, even though yesterday you had been left bitter with shame, idiocy, and betrayal, the next morning, you were back on your feet.
You had allowed yourself to process the events during a shower in the early hours of the morning. Naturally, people didn’t flaunt their relationships, so there was no way you could have guessed. Jungk— CEO Jeon should have informed you himself, if not because of the way you interacted with each other, then at least the moment your skins touched while alcohol was in both your systems. It was not your fault for not knowing, but it was his for not honoring a prior commitment. The way he turned to you instead of diffusing Sunhwa’s screams did raise questions, but it was not up to you to wonder what it all meant. He said they had a contract, that was it. You refused to believe he wasn’t completely aware of being in the wrong, the same way you refused to continue whatever that was. You wanted to leave anyway.
So, instead of leaving with Mr Seung that day, you grabbed your luggage and walked out the front door with the sun finally starting to clear the night sky. A taxi was waiting for you to take you to the office, where you started a very early day with a game plan — you needed to wrap things up.
If CEO Jeon was correct, you’d have a reply from the American company today, and no other deal would need to be handled in person in Seoul. It did facilitate things, but it meant nothing else needed to be a priority. You organized your tasks and timings — with extra time and effort, you could be leaving on a flight to Busan tonight.
You were certain of your success during the morning, at least until CEO Jeon tried to attend one of your meetings. Dealing with his presence was harder than you thought — not just because he reminded you of how stupid you had been the night before, but because he tried talking to you.
But on that end, some things helped. Sunhwa was like a hound, constantly on him, even during the meetings you were present, making sure to drag him away by politely — and loudly — reminding him he had other places to be. To make your timetable work, you had delegated a few tasks, including going to CEO Jeon to iron down details and clarify any lingering doubts. You used a totally different office, having asked a colleague from a different department to use his instead. This meant no lunchtime, no opportunities to bump into CEO Jeon, and absolutely no distractions.
The stars seemed to align shortly after your midday sandwich — the American representative had a positive response, with only a few things left to handle. Details, which made you ecstatic. A few hours of work were all that stood between you and freedom.
The only catch was that the people you had delegated to couldn’t bring the final agreement to the CEO. You contemplated just sending an email, but knew that would be distasteful. There were also notes and considerations that were better off discussed verbally without a digital trail, and if it wasn’t for the previous night’s debacle, that wouldn’t have been an issue.
Your stubborn nature didn’t allow you to let something that embarrassed you affect you professionally, so you gritted your teeth through a workaround. You printed the fifty some pages of the agreement and commented on everything that required his attention, highlighting and adding sticky notes with considerations to each relevant paragraph and page. It was exhausting, but you felt like it was the right compromise.
Hours later, you had your flight booked, the agreement fully annotated, and your luggage as you neared CEO Jeon’s office. You braced yourself for what would surely be an unpleasant experience, but as you knocked, no one answered.
You dared to enter after checking your wristwatch; you couldn’t be late. His spacious office was empty, nothing but silence present inside those walls. There was a large desk at the center in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, and that was where you decided to go after putting the luggage to the side for a moment. 
Every step disturbed you even more; his heady scent made your senses surge and your gut twist. You gripped the folder in your hand firmly; you didn’t want to enjoy his scent or any thought of him. You just needed to push through this to leave.
The door suddenly barging open startled you, but as quickly as it opened, it closed, leaving you nailed to the floor. Jungkook stood there with wide eyes, looking at you in a mix of bafflement and intention. Then, you dared to blink, and he stormed across the room to get to you.
“Thank fuck,” he let out as he neared you. “I need to talk to you; I thought you were avoiding me—”
“I’m just here to drop this off,” you interrupted sternly, waving the file in your hand. “Congratulations, you were right — we have a positive answer and a verbal commitment. All that’s left is for you to go over a few details and give me your instructions, and we can have this contract signed by the end of the month.”
His wide eyes only revealed disbelief until he snapped out of it, “What are you— I don’t care about that!”
You extended the file between you, “Please take it and revise it accordingly.”
He glanced at the offending folder and looked at you again, knitted eyebrows spelling confusion and hurt. “I can’t handle that right now!”
Still, you insisted, “Whatever happens in private, stays in private. Work ethic dictates—”
He snatched the file from your hand and dropped it on his desk, “Fine! Fine, I’ll handle it. Won’t you please talk to me now?”
You ignored the way he looked at you and spun to grab the file again, extending it in the same way, “Please don’t overlook months of work of dozens of professionals—”
“I don’t!” He couldn’t hold it any longer; he grabbed your shoulders. “I won’t! But please listen to me: she means nothing to me.”
It sounded crude to you, almost cruel, so you remained impassive, “She surely means something. You’re just confused.”
His fingers pressed through your coat, “I’m not confused!”
“You are. You have a commitment—”
“A piece of paper! A deal I don’t care about made before I met you, before I knew about you!”
You straightened your back, “My designation shouldn’t—”
“Fuck your designation!” You would have trembled if he wasn’t holding you. He raised a hand to your cheek, “You’re not an omega to me; you’re my mate. Can’t you feel it? The way our hearts align?” His eyes were wide, searching in yours, and you could barely breathe. “The way our souls sing whenever our eyes meet? You have to feel it too, please don’t deny it.”
You only realized your lips had parted in shock when you clenched your jaw, “It doesn’t matter. You have a commitment.”
“The only commitment I have is to spend the rest of my life with you,” his voice shook as he cupped your other cheek. “I’ve started the process to annul it, and I’m certain it will be approved because no one can come in between us. Fate…” he whispered, fluttering his eyelashes over watering eyes. “You and I are meant to be.”
Your heart was shaking with your emotions chaotically running rampant through you, but you were headstrong. You couldn’t think properly with his nose almost grazing yours, so you put a palm over his chest and pushed.
He let go of you, unable to hide the way it hurt him, but you weren’t looking. You couldn’t face him. You disliked running away, but you were overwhelmed and unsure that you could trust him. That you could trust your own heart.
“Let’s at least talk tonight,” he tried with a sobered tone. 
You raised your eyes to him, and your heart wept — he was trying. He was coming to you, talking, explaining, giving worth to the fact that you gave priority to work, but it didn’t change anything. Because you couldn’t trust him.
“I can’t,” you breathed.
“Why not?” His tone was grazing on a whimper, “For work? I swear—”
“No, I’m leaving,” you breathed it out before it got stuck. Your eyes landed on the luggage you left near the entrance, and he looked over his shoulder to follow your gaze. “I booked a flight, I’m leaving in a couple of hours.”
He shook his head violently, and in a second, his strong hands were around your head, aiming to keep you still so that his lips could crash to yours. 
It was sudden and brave, and you said, “Don’t.”
He instantly groaned. His control might have flown out the window, but there was no way he would go against your wishes. No matter how much he believed that kissing you could make you see that he spoke the truth, could make you feel what he was talking about, he still couldn’t do more than ghost your lips, your taste less than an inch away. You, his soulmate, his fate, so close, yet so far.
“We both want this,” he reasoned in a desperate attempt to get to you. 
You held the power; you were judge, jury, and executioner.
When you remained silent, just looking at him with a line between your eyebrows, he had to insist. “Let me show you,” he whispered, ghosting your lips, the tension stretching so thinly he could swear it was about to snap. “Let me show you how good I can make you feel.”
The desperation put a nearly sick glint in his eyes, and it touched you in ways you couldn’t explain. All you could do was nuzzle him and stay silent, fighting your heart with your logic with all your might.
You couldn’t open your mouth, or you’d do something you’d regret at the expense of your weakness, knowing you’d hate yourself for it. There was still the chance that it was all just to deceive you, to collect an omega like in the stories your mother used to tell you. The ones where evil alphas took pleasure in hoarding omegas and taking them from their mates and families.
Yet, it was true that you had never felt anything like it; a desire so strong burning through your veins, you could combust. If it wasn’t enough, his scent was addictive; his desire smelled exotic and spicy, awakening places you preferred to stay in slumber right now. You knew that if you let him, the want would consume you. You wouldn’t stop until he was inside you, keeping his promise and fulfilling your lust, your need to have his touch, his kiss, his everything as part of you.
And that was precisely why you couldn’t do it.
“I can make you mine,” he rasped, something akin to agony glistening in his eyes. “I can give you everything you ever wanted.”
The corners of your mouth twitched; could he read your mind? How else would he know that everything you wanted was him?
“Just let me show you.”
You finally took a deep breath, “No, I’m leaving.”
“No,” his expression morphed into anguish. 
“You have to let me go.”
“No no no no, I can’t, don’t ask me to, please. Please, just listen to what I have to say. Go with Mr Seung and let’s talk. Really talk, I’ll tell you everything. Everything, my whole heart, please.”
Your eyes observed every detail of his expression — his knitted eyebrows, glistening eyes, and pressed lips. You didn’t like to see him suffer; it was almost a compulsion just to acquiesce so he could feel well again.
“If you still want to leave after that, you can,” his voice gained a sturdiness, as did his expression, and it allowed you to breathe. “I promise, you’ll take my private jet and go immediately, and I’ll never— I won't—” Whatever he was trying to say didn’t seem to come out, so he shook his head. “So please say you will talk to me.”
Your mouth opened, but a loud knock on the door stole your words. You almost smiled as Sunhwa’s voice cut the silence, introducing someone important to see CEO Jeon right before coming to a stop.
You knew that she and whoever accompanied her were just standing by the entrance, witnessing something very odd: CEO Jeon standing stiffly next to his desk with his hands raised in front of him, unbeknownst to them, holding your head in them. You looked into his eyes, your eyebrow twitching, but his head only moved an inch to the side.
His eyes still begged, “Please.”
But your hand came to his arm to pull it, and he let go. You stepped back and said something polite as you dropped the file on his desk, then bowed deeply, bowing to the newcomers as well, before grabbing your luggage and going on your way. 
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Jungkook wouldn’t have been able to function if he hadn’t received a message from Mr Seung about ten minutes after you left saying that he had you and was going to take you home, at your request. It filled his heart with such hope that he could barely contain the tears in his eyes. Still, he needed to during that meeting and the ones that inevitably followed. He counted the minutes, the seconds. If you left, he was certain that Mr Seung would inform him, but you wouldn’t. Because you agreed to talk, and that was all Jungkook needed.
He refused to take any more tasks, reports, requests, or last-minute meetings, and left the office exceptionally early before sunset. He entered his car and grabbed his phone; Mr Seung was not driving Jungkook this time, but he wanted to call and hear about you. He wasn’t ready to face you, but—
“Sir!” Mr Seung’s distraught voice instantly stiffened Jungkook’s neck. “I came to a few minutes ago, finally I have my phone so I can warn you!”
Jungkook’s grip on the phone tightened as he heard what had happened, and by the end he didn’t know if he was livid or enraged; he might have been possessed.
Things like getting hijacked at a red light didn’t just happen in the middle of Seoul in broad daylight to a car of the Family. Much less with Mr Seung in the hospital, having passed out from a drug, while you were taken. Fucking taken.
His first instinct was to call Sunhwa, “What the fuck did you do?”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I swear that if you lay a finger on her—”
“On who? What are you talking about? What happened? I was with you the whole day. What could I have done?”
His stomach fell; she was right. He hung up the phone and groaned into his hands. He didn’t know who else could have tried to harm you. Even though you were a precious, rare omega, no one would go as far as to take you like that.
No one that he knew would, and in fact—
He pressed the speed dial on his phone, and as soon as the other side picked up, his heartache spilled out, “Hyung.”
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aphroditelovesu · 10 months ago
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Yan!Husband Henry VIII Headcanons (Romantic)
❝ 👑 — lady l: This has been in my draft for a while but I decided to finish it now lol. Hope you like it! Forgive me for any mistakes. ❤️🧡
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, toxic relationship, mention of death perhaps.
❝👑pairing: yandere!henry viii x female!reader.
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You had already dreamed of marrying a King, of becoming his Queen and giving birth to his heirs, a romantic fantasy that you and many other young women have dreamed of. They were mere fantasies of romance that you made up, but never really thought it would happen or become the obsession of one of the most infamous Kings in the history of England.
Your dreams remained as they were, dreams of a young lady. The King of the country where you lived was already married, so there wasn't much chance of you marrying him. Your family was of noble enough origin and had considerable wealth, but nothing too extravagant.
Until your older sister's marriage to a powerful man, close to the King. With that, your family immediately moved to the English Court, excited about their new status. Your father was particularly eager to marry you off to a powerful man as well.
Henry was dissatisfied with his wife, Anne, she had failed to conceive the much-desired male heir he so desperately wanted. His wandering eyes began to wander to the young women of the Court and when he laid eyes on you, he knew you would be the one to give him what he wanted.
Henry's captivating gazes seemed to follow you wherever you went and it began to unnerve you. A hint of excitement perhaps, but you knew it was a dangerous game to get involved with the King, especially when he was married.
Your parents were immensely happy with the King's interest in you. If you became his mistress, it would bring benefits and riches to your family. And when Henry got tired of you, you could perhaps marry a man with a noble title. Maybe a Duke or a Marquis.
But you didn't want to be his mistress or anyone's mistress. You wanted a husband and not a mere toy that he could always discard later. Your resistance angered your parents but attracted Henry even more. Your rejecting him has stirred him up, and bewitched him even more. Whenever you were in a room, Henry's eyes would be on you.
All of Henry’s attention was on you and you would be lying if you said you didn’t like it. He didn't even try to hide his affection for you, he sent you gifts and letters constantly. You reciprocated, sending him letters in return, but always remaining firm in your convictions.
Before long, Henry was deeply in love with you and quickly got rid off his current wife, Anne. When he asked you to marry him, shortly after his separation from Anne, you hesitated but accepted. You would finally become his and his alone.
Once you were married, Henry became more possessive than ever. He already didn't like the looks other gentlemen gave you, but now that you were officially his, it would be considered a crime of treason. And we know how he deals with betrayal.
You were his perfect Queen, so sweet and so, well, perfect. Henry makes a point of reminding you of that every day, about how perfect you were for him. He really was in love, so he kept on your side the whole time. His eyes remained only on you.
Henry truly values ​​you and your opinion. It is not a custom, but he would be willing to listen to your wishes and political opinions (if you have any) on matters of state. You are his Queen, after all. If it was your wish, if you were Catholic, Henry could even try to restore Catholicism in England.
He really loved you, maybe not in the conventional way, but he did. Henry would listen to your wishes, fulfill them and all he wants in return is his love. He will not tolerate people speaking ill of you and will condemn anyone who does so for treason.
Henry would be loyal to you, he would take care of you until your death. He wants to have children with you, a family, a male heir, but he also wants to be with you. He could be himself and not the King of England.
And when you finally gave him his long-awaited male heir, Henry knew he would never let you go or let anything happen to you. After all, you are his wife and his Queen. And Henry doesn't handle treason very well.
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amandacanwrite · 9 months ago
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More Headcanons for the Gale Babes: Pining Edition
Tagging At Their Request: @eclecticqueennerd @jeneralmischief @thewizardhole
Tagging Because I Thought You May Want To Know I posted It: @lewdisescariot @ollypopwrites @rissi-chan @foreskinfinder87
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Here are some headcanons about Gale behind the scenes as he pines for you/Tav (Goodnatured, Gender Neutral) Bear with some things that are just regular ole canon for a moment and then I will get into the headcanony stuff near the middle.
Upon Your First Meeting
"I'm Usually better at this." "At Introductions?" "Hah...At magic."
Safe to say that he was well aware of just HOW much trouble he was in very shortly after beginning to travel with you.
The words "Do NOT do this to yourself, you ridiculous, touch-starved man," may or may not have been said to the mirror...or to a mirror double of himself.
But godsdamnit, you just had to continue being...kind and courageous and well spoken and your eyes...and your lips and Focus--FOCUS GALE DEKARIOS
And hells, what a world it would be if he could stop putting his foot so squarely into his mouth.
"Gods, Gale. Really did a number with that thing you said, didn't you? They probably thing you're pompous--which you are--perhaps rightfully so, you are a very gifted wizard..."
He uh...talks to himself a lot. Old habit from the tower, you see. You only catch him doing it a couple of times though, and rarely hear what he said.
"Oh, just thinking out loud, you know!"
Once He's Gotten To Know You A Bit
"Go on, Gale. You're among Friends." "I may just be about to remedy that."
It's hard to pin point the exact moment he fell in love with you. But the realization was nothing short of devastating for him.
As a younger man, he may have been brought to tears reading a tragedy like his. Abandoned by a former lover, forsaken in a plight brought on by wishing to do her a grand gesture, falling for a simpler love...one he may never have because of the orb threatening to level a city in his chest.
Sometimes at night, he watches you asleep in your bedroll, wondering if he had met you as a young man...if he'd perchance seen you on the streets of Waterdeep or sitting at the bar in The Yawning Portal perhaps he'd never wound up in this position in the first place.
Perhaps he would have simply been chosen by Mystra, and not have fallen in love with her.
It feels wrong...even to think it. He wonders if Mystra can sense the betrayal in those thoughts--in the wish that he'd never fallen in love with her.
But it's hard not to feel that way when he has to spend every waking moment next to you.
And when he watches everyone else in camp seemingly falling over themselves to get to you as well.
He makes his peace with the fact that there is simply no way that he can compete with the pale elf who is constantly making eyes at you...calling you darling.
He remembers meeting people like that in school. He remembers burying himself in his studies to distract himself from the fact that he'd never felt particularly charming or even efficacious in matters of the heart.
Of course that all changed when Mystra chose him. Before he'd wooed her, he'd managed to have a few dalliances as a teen, even going into his early adulthood.
But you're the first he's ever wanted to have something with since Mystra had forsaken him.
He still carries the charm he'd cultivated. It's hard not to get at least a little full of yourself when the goddess of magic herself chooses you. Harder still to drop the habit after he'd committed to it, even while sequestered to his tower.
He'd been deep in thought on these matters when you checked in on him one night.
"Nothing to worry about. Just a wizard stewing on matters of the arcane and curious, I assure you."
When he finally has to reveal the truth of his affliction to you and the others in the party, he's devastated all over again. He's ready to once again be banished for his crimes, to be newly punished for his folly, however well intentioned he was in acquiring it.
But...you simply don't... It seems you never do what he expects because you hardly bat an eye. Even when Astarion tells you to kick him to the proverbial curb, you let him stay.
It's that night he conjures the image of Mystra in his hand, turning it this way and that to see if it still hurts to look upon her as it used to.
When you wander over to inquire about her visage, he is relieved to find it doesn't bother him to speak of her, and daunted by the ache in his chest that you seem to inspire in him.
He keeps trying to find a way to tell you how he feels, but he simply can't form the words without choking on them.
Until that night with the teiflings...and well...let's just be honest, the generously flowing alcohol.
He just wants to share a moment with you--a foolish idea to help you experience the weave using him as a conduit. A bit cheeky he realizes--knowing perhaps better than you might the sort of sensual, intimate nature that being connected through the weave can be. But he can't help it, it is the only relief he can find for this torturous pining. To be allowed to be of one mind with you for just a fleeting second is too tempting to refuse.
When You Imagine Sharing A Kiss With Him
"I'm sorry...I wasn't expecting...but it is a pleasant image to be sure. Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome."
How can he convince himself that he won't immediately ruin this? Does he even remember how to kiss? God's it's been so long.
He lies in his tent, banging the heel of his hand against his forehead.
"You should have just kissed them, you damned fool. How long have you wanted this? And apparently they want it, too. And you were linked with the weave! What could have been more perfect? Why didn't you just kiss them, you blithering idiot."
When he doesn't kiss you for a while, you worry you may have made him uncomfortable with the thought. Really, he simply can't find the perfect time between all of the bloodshed and bandages.
He gets sloppy in battle, too worried that someone will take you way before he has a chance to make good on that dream you shared with him. Not the best course of action for a man who can literally implode in the event that he dies.
And then he had to go and say that stupid thing about danger and...other forms of stimulation.
"Perhaps," he tells himself one night. "Perhaps, Gale of Waterdeep, you will actually make a gesture more than a silly joke and a stammering admission of liking to kiss. Your actions so far have not hinted that you will, but perhaps there is hope for you yet."
In the end it's a night where you're near out of provisions that gives him the opportunity to close this blasted distance betwixt you.
He's having a melt down of sorts. About the lack of decent food in camp. How is he to feed all of you with nothing but a few half-eaten apples and a fish head?
You suggest a walk, not far from camp. You're sure you can scrounge up some berries, or some tubers--maybe even a squirrel or a rabbit. In truth, you're not sure you'll find anything, but you can sense that Gale needs time away. Needs privacy. Needs space to simply feel things without an audience.
After walking in silence for a while you ask him if he's alright.
"No. No I am categorically not alright. Not at all. I am filthy. I am covered in goblin blood. The orb refuses to be sated. I cannot find a way to properly feed you so that you'll have the strength to fight another day. And on top of it all--rounding out the depths of my misery--you so bravely showed me the intimacy you wanted to share, yet I cannot for the life of me figure out how to adequately stage that moment so that it is worthy of the splendor that you are."
It's hard not to be touched by his admission, but you don't want him to be miserable. So you make it easy for him. You simply stride up to him and plant a kiss on his lips.
"Is that better?" you ask him. "Now you needn't fret about the last thing."
His simply...gawks at you. Stares in utter befuddlement, his mouth slightly agape. For a moment, you're certain you've broken the poor wizard. You almost have the urge to wave your hand in front of his face to see if his soul has left his body. Then he smears his hand down his face and groans
"NO," he says. "No it is not better. That is not a proper first kiss worthy of how I feel about you. I can do much better than a first kiss like that."
You remind him that that was technically your first kiss with him. He is welcome to show you how it is properly done.
You expect the slow burn with him--expect him to have to ponder that for a few days, perhaps even a few weeks, before he makes good on it.
But he has had enough of waiting. He drops his bag off to the side and unstraps his bow from his back in a quick flurry of movement. He reaches for you, gently grasping the soft curves of your face and pulling you toward him, claiming your mouth with his own.
It is a frantic, desperate thing, this kiss. Simultaneously overwhelming and buoyant. You find yourself lifting up onto your toes and leaning against him as he tilts his head, seeking some opening to taste you, to feel you on his lips.
Your knees buckle, and his hands move from your face to catch you, crushing you against him as if he wishes to match every curve of you to every corresponding curve of his own body.
His lips are soft, though they are posessive. When you finally allow him across the threshold of your lips, he tastes like that fragment of weave you shared with him. He tastes of pure connection.
And then, just like that moment, it is over. You're left panting and weak as he holds you against his chest, his face flush, his brow gently curved with worry.
You blink dreamily up at him. "Oh." you say.
"'Oh?'" he asks incredulously. "Please tell me you have more to say than 'Oh.' Or at least specify the quality of that 'Oh.' Hells, if I'm to get any sleep at all--"
You simply lift your fingers to his lips, pressing the tips to quiet him. "Consider me properly schooled in how it's meant to be done," you say. "You're an excellent teacher."
He heaves a sigh. "Oh," he says. "I know."
I hope you enjoyed this! I'm sorry if it's not as satisfying since it's a lot of like...subtext for canon things. I have more Ideas but this is already quite long. Do let me know if you would still like to see more or if you have anything you'd like to see or expand on with an actual small fic. I have been having so much fun with these.
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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 4 months ago
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papa, me want more yandere jjk zombie apocalypse!!!
no pressure tho lol love your writing
Me when someone calls me Papa:
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But seriously thank you Hope you enjoy! 🖤🖤🖤🖤
Zombie Apocalypse: Yandere Jujutsu Kaisen (3)
1  • 2
When you awaken it’s Nobara and Megumi who retrieve you for another tour
This time taking the time to let you partake in the activities with some of the residents
But it’s all to pass the time before Suguru comes to retrieve you
“Hey (Y/n) we have a few more tests to run and after that, I’ll let you go have fun with Satoru.”
Despite your reluctance to deal with the boisterous man you follow Suguru back to the lab where you first met him in
Chatting about anything you could 
“So I finally wanted to inform you about why you can’t go to the other neighborhood and why you have that wristband.”
“Finally! Even if I can’t be with them I want to see them still–”
“...(Y/n)...I’m so sorry.”
Setting you on the patient table Suguru informs you that your blood is the key to immunity against the zombie disease
Using some advanced technology to find you and put the wristband on you to label you among your group of friends
But that wasn’t all 
Holding you close he confides in you that in separate interviews your friend group had proven to be willing to go to extremes to get their hands on the cure
Said extremes were violent and alarming
all suggesting they’d abduct you and make you a living blood bag for them
It was actually not that far-fetched to you
You knew your friends were loosening their morals
You had to 
Especially after the betrayal from one of your members
It was likely that they may have come off that way
But you wonder if that would’ve applied to you as well
You really had no way of knowing
“(Y/n) I understand that this is difficult to take in…just know that me and Satoru are here for you. We’re going to protect you, no matter what.”
He was holding your chin as he looked into your eyes with promise
Letting him hold you in a hug
Suguru has a hard time holding in a smile that twitches widely on his face
After this Suguru takes the day off joining you to experience the different activities 
Satoru joined you both shortly thereafter
“Yay! My two favorite people are baking so adorably! It’d be a shame if someone came and tickled one of them relentlessly.”
“Sorry (Y/n).”
“Wait what—Ahhhh! Hahahaha!”
They’re pretty persistent when it comes to chasing away the thoughts of your friends possibly being as dangerous to you as they were to the zombies you’d been running from 
Enough for you to miss them when you once again say goodbye to Nobara and Megumi after they lead you to your room 
But before you can completely settle on your bed to sullenly stare at the ceiling the door to your room clicks open
“Heyyo you ready for me to show you what movies we’ve got? Of course, you are! C’mon, sweetcheeks!”
“Hope we didn’t wake you but we figured we’d hate to leave you alone.”
“Uh, thanks, you guys.”
“It’s no problem, the mind on its own is a scary place.”
“Yeah…”
“That’s why we’ll never let you go there! Now are you ready for the ultimate movie night? You’re not going to get a wink of sleep!”
That being said by the time the sun rose you were already resting on the couple your head in Satoru’s lap while Suguru held the rest of your body up
Completely oblivious to the second time the lock to your door opened up 
“You two look cozy!”
“Do not yell someone is clearly asleep.”
“So? I have the key to this door so it’s practically mine too.”
“The urge to decimate you always returns with a vengeance.”
“Ouch so cruel~!”
Suguru groaned and rolled his eyes at the both of them checking if you stirred at all
 while Satoru smiled at the blonde one of the duo only to receive an annoyed push of his glasses
“Nanamin you came back earlier than I expected.”
“Yes, my…partner took a very impulsive approach this time around.”
Suguru figured he’d chime in too, “Mahito did you bring any of them back alive?”
Mahito made a face putting a peace sign up as he posed mocking the anime signage now left as relics of the world before
“What do you think?”
“I don’t necessarily care, it’d just make things easier for them.”
“It is unbecoming of you to lie Doctor Geto.”
“Yeah, I could tell you were just itching to get your hands on those pigs!”
Suguru chuckled reaching to brush his hand against your cheek
“Maybe I was hoping to…enjoy a roast. It’s unfair if you’re the only one to enjoy the results of our labor.”
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invisible-lint · 6 months ago
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Everything Could Be Okay: Chapter 1
Rhys x Tamlin's sister!reader
Summary: Tamlin has sent Feyre away. Emotions follow
Warnings: more angst. Allusions to Under the Mountain happenings, but not in much detail
Word Count: 1.2k
Prologue Chapter 2
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You rush into the manor, hoping that you can get far enough away before the emotion churning in your chest consumes you. You couldn’t be the supportive sister you supposed Tamlin wanted you to be right now, weren’t sure you thought it was what he deserved. After all, it was his fault that the human he loved was leaving. It was his fault that you were all doomed to be taken Under the Mountain. It was his fault that Andras’ death was now for nothing. So no, you decide, he does not deserve your pity.
You manage to stumble your way into your bedroom, tears stinging in your eyes, burning your throat. You yank a pillow off the bed, burying your face into it before you scream, letting the emotion overwhelm you. You are angry, so angry that you ignore the knocking on your door. How could Tamlin do this? Sacrifice everyone and everything for his human love. Does he know how much it stings? His betrayal? That his love was enough was enough to save her. But you, your love? That was not enough to save Andras. You fling yourself onto the bed. This is where you will stay until they come to drag you all down Under the Mountain, you don’t care anymore. There’s nothing left for you to care about.
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You wander the hall, ignoring the chill that hasn’t left your bones the entire time down here, no matter what you did. You didn’t sleep, finding it nearly impossible to. It had only been a few nights spent under the mountain, but already what you had seen haunted you every time you closed your eyes. You think of what Andras had said that day in the forest, about wanting to save you. If only he could see how ruined you were now. Would he be as angry with your brother as you are? You suppose, the one relief is that he is not here with you. You would not wish him here in this place even now as loneliness echoes in your soul. You aren’t thinking about where your body is taking you, only stopping as you nearly collide with the male in front of you. Your sudden stop has you nearly tipping off balance, and he reaches a hand out, steadying you. You look up at him, your own eyes meeting his violet ones.
“You shouldn’t roam by yourself at night. It’s not safe.”
“Yes, well you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Rhysand?” you question, voice as icy as you feel.
He ignores the jab, directing you towards your room. “Allow me to escort you.”
You say nothing, following as he guides you. You say nothing as he directs you to the armchair and waves a hand, a fire springing to life in the hearth. You remain silent until he’s about to leave the room.
“Why did you leave me there?” He turns to you, eyes filled with confusion.
“The night you came to Spring and killed my father and brothers. I followed you out to the garden and begged you to either take me with you or kill me too. But you just left me there. Why?”
Your eyes meet his, filled with so much grief and pain, and he finds himself wondering what you went through before you found yourself down here. You stand, crossing to him, angry at the tears that sting your eyes. 
“It would have been wrong.”
You choke out a bitter laugh. “And look at me now. I would have been better off.”
He’s not sure why he does it, but he brushes past your wards with ease, helping your troubled mind find unconsciousness, catching you as you crumple. He tucks you into bed, brushing hair back from your face and tucking it behind your ear, bringing kinder memories to the front of your mind, helping you find pleasant dreams for once.
He tries to find you again the next few nights, uncertain of why he feels so suddenly drawn to you. But he remains unlucky, as if you're avoiding him as hard as he's trying to find you.
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It’s shortly after that Feyre finds her way Under the Mountain to rescue Tamlin. You aren’t sure how you feel, but there's one thing you know for certain. You will do anything within your power to help her. To make Andras’ death mean something. You find her the night after, a spare blanket and food hidden underneath your cloak. You see him again as you make your way to the cells, eyes meeting his across the distance before hurrying away. 
You enter the cell and take in the sight of the human woman in front of you, holding a finger to your lips as you cross over to her, kneeling at her side, healing her. You give her the food and the blanket. She tries apologizing for Andras once more, but you shush her, shaking your head. 
“You are not the one I am angry with. You are not the one who needs to apologize. I can understand why you… did what you did.” She looks almost surprised. “I will help you however I can without interfering. I will help you beat her, for Andras.” She smiles and you find yourself smiling too, the movement feeling odd after so much time. 
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You rush to the cells, hoping you are not too late. You enter as Rhysand exits and Feyre looks at you.
“I tried to wait for you to come. You said you would come. But a human can die so quickly from that kind of thing and I-” 
You interrupt her, dropping to your knees beside her, pulling her into a tight hug, choking back a sob. “I was just worried that I was too late and you were already dead. I don’t care what bargain you made with him. It saved your life, and when we get out of here, I will face it with you. You are too important Feyre.” She tells you of the bargain, and you smile. “You know, I have always wanted to see the Night Court.”
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More time has passed and Feyre has beaten the trials. You watch in horror, unable to intervene, frozen to the spot, as Amarantha hurts Feyre, wishing you could fight for her. You glare at your brother, cursing him for not fighting for her. Why can’t he fight for her the way you already had? Why had he given up so easily? You gasp as Feyre answers the riddle and the mask falls from your face. You step forward as Amarantha snaps Feyre’s neck, wanting to do something, anything. You watch as finally, Tamlin does something, killing her, ripping her throat out. You sink to your knees, unable to help the relief that floods your veins along with the grief. Amarantha was dead and that meant that your husband’s death would finally mean something. That you had not lost everything for nothing.
  You watch on as the High Lords all revive Feyre, bringing her back as a fae. You ignore the purple-eyed male staring at you and whatever it is you feel pulling you to him. There would be time to worry about that later, but for now, you find yourself at Feyre's other side, realizing that although you had lost so much, there were things you had gained too.
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A/N: And there it is! Not feeling great about this one, but everytime I tried fixing it I found myself writing the next parts, so here it is! Requests are open, so feel free to send some in! I'd love to write some one shots too!
divider is by @tsunami-of-tears
taglist: @lilah-asteria @readingislife2006 @acourtofimagines @mistymoocow @irelanrose
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halfmoonaria · 5 months ago
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reason
pairing: tara carpenter & female reader
summary: you didn't have a reason for it, except tara was the reason.
words: 2.3k
warnings: violence, ghostface, gore, language, sensitive topics.
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Her heart was pounding, legs shaking, breath hitched and voice trembling.
Tara was frightened, terrified.
Everything had happened so fast.
First Quinn had died, shortly after Anika was gone. Then Ethan and Mindy got left behind, being forced to take another train.
Now it was just her, Sam, Chad, Kirby and you. And four people would've been enough to fight the killers, technically.
However, now both Chad and you were gone.
Tara didn't know where you were, and it was starting to worry her. What if you were dead?
Oh god, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if you were. Especially not since the last conversation she had with you ended so acrimoniously.
She knew why it did, and she knew it was entirely her fault. But she was going to make it okay again, she was going to be better. For you.
Although Tara also knew that there wasn't any ways to make it better. Not at all.
Tara felt totally unreasonable. Disgusted with herself.
She couldn't reverse the situation or turn back the clock on what had occurred. She couldn't change what happened. Not even the slightest.
She couldn't even change the thoughts of remorse and guilt that had been rotting in her head for days. What made her think she could change the situation?
Tara did cheat. And you saw it. She couldn't change that.
She couldn't change the way you ran out of the apartment before Tara had the chance to open her mouth. She couldn't change the fact that you hadn't spoken to her ever since she chased you down the street.
She couldn't change anything. And it was hurting her to bits.
"Kirby stop!" The fiddling with a gun brought Tara out of her own thoughts, "Get away from the girls."
Tara could feel her lips shaking out of fear. Legs almost too wobbly to stand. Her mind was too fuzzy she could barely focus on the conversation between Kirby and Bailey.
All she could find herself thinking about was you. The look on your face when you had seen Tara on top of Chad. The tears that were flushing down when she made eye contact with you.
The way you were probably dead right now.
It wasn't until Ghostface popped up behind Bailey that Tara finally got pulled into the moment, the thoughts about you being pushed aside as she heard the gunshots towards Kirby.
Bailey shot Kirby. In the shoulder. Twice. Making her fall to the ground in an instant.
Strangled gasps escaped from both of the sisters, their glances turning to Bailey and the masked killer next to him.
"Great job" Baileys raspy voice spoke proudly as he lowered the gun to his side. "Both of you" he finished as another Ghostface walked up behind him.
That was when it all clicked for Sam and Tara. There had been three of them? The entire time?
Tara's mouth couldn't help but move before she could think." You?" Her voice laced with nothing but disgust and betrayal.
Bailey grimaced, acting like this was some kind of fun, sick joke. "Yeah, Of course me."
Her mouth was left open out in aghast. Bailey would've been the absolute last person Tara would've excepted, and it seemed to be that way for Sam as well.
In fact, even Anika would've been a better suspect than him.
"Frankly, I expected more from the two of you after what you did to us."
And even though Tara felt so incredibly lost and confused at the moment, the sentence made it possible for her to become even more bewildered.
Sam didn't say a word, her figure just showed that she was breathing heavily in the corner of Tara's eye, either to calm herself down or because she was feeling suffocated by all the overwhelming emotions.
"What do you mean 'us'?"
At that, the person standing on the right side of the detective pulled of the hood, tugging off the mask shortly after with the gloved covered hand.
When the mask had arrived off, Ethan was revealed.
Ethan Landry.
The dorky guy that screamed like a girl whenever scary movies was shown, stumbled over his own feet while walking or always rambled about stuff nobody actually cared about.
Tara felt the need to laugh, she actually didn't think the boy could hurt a fly even if he had to. But her face remained frozen, it didn't dare to move.
Ethan had a proud, big smile on his face, like he had really accomplished something. Tara wanted to punch his face for looking so smug.
He had been anything but slick with it all. Technically everyone in the group had been suspecting him at least once, perhaps not Anika, but she hadn't blamed anyone.
"Mindy was right." He spoke as if it was funny. But in reality it was ridiculous. Mindy was never right about anything when it came to the killers, not a single right last time, which was precisely why nobody believed her now either.
Which was why the fact that Mindy was right made Ethan look nothing else but foolish.
"It was easy to juke the roommate lottery." He continued, probably expecting a response from any of the sisters. But Sam's mouth seemed to be just as unable to move as Tara's.
"I mean all I had to do to meet you? Was room with a conceited, condescending alpha, literally named Chad. Fuck, it felt good to kill him." 
Tara felt her breath hitch for a second, swallowing hard enough to make head turns.
Chad was dead?
Although before Tara had the chance to speak or ask anything she was going to regret, Ethan spoke up again, this time with his Ghostface mask raised in his hand.
He spoke about how it was Sam's grandmothers, how it ran in the family; nothing Sam hadn't heard before. Tara either for that matter, and she couldn't care less. Sam wasn't a killer. Tara knew that.
"Talking of family." He voiced again, the smug smile never leaving his features.
"Wait for it!" Bailey interrupted milliseconds after.
The two of them were smiling like absolute maniacs, like they were waiting for a well known jump scare in a movie.
"My name's not Ethan Landry.. is it dad?"
"Dad?" Tara spoke up in utter disgust. Shame filling her veins for not noticing that sooner. But how could she? They looked nothing like.
It was impossible to try and find any similarities between them now, looking at them made Tara feel the need to throw up.
The way they were laughing and smiling big, the way Bailey was stroking Ethan's hair like he had a reason to be proud of him.
"Wait.. If its you two that just leaves.." Sam spoke for the first time since the reveal.
The third and final killer turned their masked face to Sam, curious to see who she'd guess. "Mindy?"
Tara felt goosebumps form on her whole body at the guess. Was it really?
Both Bailey and Ethan turned their head eagerly to watch the reveal, even though there was no doubt they already knew who it was.
Hood off.
Glove covered hand up. Grabbing the chin of the mask. Pulling it off.
There it was.
The hair and face Tara had seen a million times before, the features she admired so deeply. The eyes that met hers, that used to be filled with light. Now looked empty.
It was you.
Under the mask. It was you.
Tara felt like her heart stopped. But at the same time she could hear it beating like it was placed next to her eardrum.
You smirked as you could hear Tara let out a sob. Sam gulped heavily at the sight of you in the dark robe.
"Hello Tara." Your voice sounded sweet, like a whispering breeze. It made Tara want to crumble to her knees.
"Didn't see that one coming did you?"
Tara's lips were quivering too much for her to reply.
But of course she didn't see that coming. You were her girlfriend. Were.
Ringing covered her ears, blocking out everything else that left Bailey's mouth, making it all inaudible.
All she could do was follow your figure as you walked behind the glass boxes of souvenirs. Holding up the mask, your mouth moved. But Tara couldn't make out what.
All she could focus on was all the questions that were raised in her head. Why would you do this? How long had you been a part of this?
Tara's mind was shutting out all of the conversations that was held between Bailey and her sister, Ethan adding stuff in between.
She was watching you instead. How your eyes looked nothing like they once did. How your knife was directed towards her, almost ready to stab her whenever you got the chance.
Her mind was fuzzy, and she felt as if she couldn't focus on anything besides you.
You were walking closer. Too close for Tara's liking, but she couldn't find herself moving. Her legs straight up refused.
When the top of the knife was in faith contact with her chin, you stopped. Same as Ethan had done with Sam. Nothing Tara paid any attention to.
Instead she focused on clenching her jaw, trying to direct her head upwards. Although your voice startled her enough to stop.
"You look pretty with a knife like this." You spoke. "Maybe we should've done knife play more often." Your voice was hushed. As if nobody else was allowed to hear.
Normally it would've made Tara feel warm and comfortable. Now it made her eyes water even more.
"Although I guess you just would've used it for real huh?"
Tara gulped. She knew what you meant. She knew what you were referring to.
"You would've used it in the back right?" You spoke through gritted teeth. Making sure to remind Tara that the knife was still in your hand, pressed against her skin.
"Backstabbing cunt." You spit. Making Tara close her eyes, gulping yet again.
However when she opened them again, her eyes met yours. And she was surprised when she only saw sorrow in them, not a single thing in there showed malevolence or anger.
Tara couldn't help but plead and beg for forgiveness. Your eyes had that impact on her.
"Y/N I'm so sorry..Please- I - We can fix this." She stuttered out, way too much for her own good. "It doesn't have to happen like this."
She was trying to fix it. She didn't want to get her sister killed by you because of a decision she had made herself. A mistake she had made.
But she knew it was too late to solve things. The way your mouth smirked showed it more than enough. And Tara only made it worse by letting her mouth get the best of her.
"It was a mistake."
You felt the need to laugh, and you did. A cold hearted laugh escaped your lips. Your laugh was normally something Tara could listen to like music, like angel soft music. But this sound scared her.
"It wasn't a mistake. You know well enough it wasn't." You pressed the knife harder to her skin, millimeters away from drawing blood. "You knew it the second you chose to take of your clothes. Well enough kiss him."
And Tara knew that. She was completely aware of that.
Everything else became a blur. Everything had gone steeper downhill so fast that Tara couldn't process anything.
Maybe it was her foggy mind that didn't allow her to think straight. Maybe that's why she had lost her steady grip on the railing.
Sam had taken Ethan, and Tara had been forced to take you. Against her will.
Her mind was too focused on saving her sister that she didn't realize at what cost that might've been. She didn't realize that stabbing you meant killing you. She didn't realize that until it was too late.
She realized it when she had harshly impaled the knife in your mouth, twisting it seconds later. When your wide, beautiful eyes had stared up at her in shock. When your blood had splashed in her face. Your blood.
When your limp body fell to the floor. When she shook your shoulders, begging for you to wake up. Begging for you to forgive her.
Sam told Tara that it was for the best. That it was either you getting killed, or Tara herself. Tara tried listening, telling herself that it was for the better.
But there was just something about the way you laid there. The way the blood on your body was once used to fill your veins. The blood who once existed for your heart to pump.
Your heart, the most benevolent and thoughtful heart to ever exist. A heart that wouldn't hurt anyone, even if it was forced.
You weren't a killer. You didn't have a reason to kill. Except you did. She was the reason. Tara was the reason.
She had made you into a murderer. Tara was the reason for it.
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haggishlyhagging · 15 days ago
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[Note: Dworkin’s analysis of Wuthering Heights is astonishing. Below is her first paragraph. I suggest reading the novel as well as Dworkin’s analysis in its entirety.]
"Stronger than a man, simpler than a child, her nature stood alone," wrote Charlotte Brontë of her deceased sister, Emily. Wuthering Heights, her one novel, published under a male pseudonym before her death at thirty, also stands alone. There is nothing like it—no novel of such astonishing originality and power and passion written by anyone, let alone by a nineteenth-century woman who was essentially a recluse. Nothing can explain it: a worldly, obsessed novel of cruelty and love that surpasses, for instance, the best of D. H. Lawrence in both sensuality and range; an act of passion as well as a work of intellectually rigorous art; a romantic, emotionally haunting, physically graphic rendering of sadism as well as an analytical dissection of it; a lyric and at the same time tragic celebration of both love and violence. "It is moorish, and wild, and knotty as a root of heath," wrote Charlotte, who admitted to being somewhat repelled by the book. "Nor was it natural that it should be otherwise; the author being herself a native and nursling of the moors." So was Charlotte, but she wrote Jane Eyre, a novel of civilized pain and outspoken dignity. Both women had a deep understanding of male dominance, which does suggest that, for women, the family is Blake's famous grain of sand. Emily did take the family as a paradigm for society, especially for the creation of sadism in men. She showed how sadism is created in men through physical and psychological abuse and humiliation by other men; and she wrote about femininity as a betrayal of honor and human wholeness. She was indifferent to sex-roles per se, the surface behaviors of men and women. Instead, she exposed the underbelly of dominance: where power and powerlessness intersect; how social hierarchies emphasize difference, fetishizing it, and repudiate sameness; how men learn hate as an ethic; how women learn to vanquish personal integrity. She anticipated contemporary sexual politics by more than a century; and, frankly, I don't think there is a contemporary novelist, man or woman, who has dared to know and say so much. There is nothing to explain her prescience or her prophecy or, for that matter, her radical political acumen; except to say that Emily Brontë seemed to share with her monster creation, Heathcliff, a will that would neither bend nor break. He used his will to create pain for those he hated. She used hers, no less ruthlessly one suspects, to live in a self-determined solitude, to write, and, finally, to die. Shortly after her brother, Branwell, dissolute and self-obsessed, suddenly died, Emily got consumption, and wasted away with what seemed a premeditated fierceness and determination. On the day of her death, she got up and dressed and groomed herself and sat on a sofa and sewed. She said a doctor could be called and soon she died. Branwell had died in September 1848; Emily died in December. "She sank rapidly," wrote Charlotte. "She made haste to leave us. Yet, while physically she perished, mentally she grew stronger than we had yet known her. . . . I have seen nothing like it; but, indeed, I have never seen her parallel in anything."
-Andrea Dworkin, Letters From a War Zone
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As we are now (Sauron x fem!Elf!reader)
-> in which you explore your husband’s new form, and it leads to you breaching a rather delicate subject
Warnings: evil!reader, smut, oral (Sauron receiving, he gets rough but reader is completely on board with it), p in v, dom!Sauron but it’s kind of back and forth, reader and Sauron being deep in denial about their desire for a bit of normalcy
Note: part of the evil!reader collection. If you’re new, reader has been married to Sauron since before Adar’s betrayal and infiltrated herself as a smith of Eregion, where she awaited her husband’s return.
Mature content below the cut - minors DNI!!!
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You burst into delighted laughter the moment you are in the privacy of your own chamber. The light, the smoke, the speech, the look—be still your black little heart and your poor loins, the look.
It was a good thing you had worked as closely as you did with Celebrimbor and so-called Halbrand before your husband had been forced to leave Eregion, for the Elven Rings were in great part your achievement as well, and so Celebrimbor had deemed that you had just as much right to learn what had become of them upon Halbrand’s return. It was also a good thing you were standing behind Celebrimbor, and that he was entirely enraptured with your husband’s divine appearance as ‘Annatar’ made his grand entrance, because the hand with which you had covered your grin could hardly conceal the shameless glee in your eyes.
To see his deceit at work is always a joy. But even greater is the delight of knowing he shall join you in your chamber shortly, just as soon as he is finished entertaining the awe-struck Celebrimbor for the night. You stand at your window, hoping your wait will not be long. You haven’t had the chance to be alone with your husband since he had returned to Eregion, and somehow the last moments before the promise of reunion always feel like the longest.
He moves within the shadows, as quietly as them. You do not need to hear the opening and closing or your door, or even the steps approaching you, to know that he is there, even before arms snake around your waist from behind and lips press to your neck. You chuckle, leaning into your husband.
“A messenger of the Valar. A being of pure light, sent to unlock his grandest abilities.” You turn around in his arms, and wrap yours around his neck, grinning. “I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Celebrimbor quite so close to spending in his breeches before.”
“How crudely you speak of your dear friend,” your husband pretends to admonish, amusement dancing in his eyes. “Can you fault a poor Elf for falling to his knees in the face of his greatest desires coming true?”
“Fault him? Of course not.” You lower your voice to a sensual purr, leaning in so that your breath warms his lips as you speak. “In fact, if I were him, I’d have done far more than kneel.” You shrug. “Or tried, at the very least. Surely, an emissary of the Valar is above such worldly temptations.”
His lips are only a moment too slow to catch your teasing ones. You nimbly slip from his hold and walk past him—to no destination whatsoever, for you know you are to be caught nearly at once and relish the short anticipation. You still give a small yelp when he catches your wrist and spins you around, pulling you flush against him. There’s hunger in his eyes, and playfulness, as he secures your waist into a hold not so easily escapable as the last.
“Not even the Maker himself is above admiring true beauty,” he says, lifting your chin with a gentle knuckle as his thumb brushes your bottom lip. “And you, my lady, are the most exquisite of his creations.”
He can pay you a thousand compliments, and you would still swoon each and every time. On the inside, at the very least, for at the moment you simply remove his hand from your mouth.
“Is that all you wish? To admire me?” you tease still, ignoring the impatient tick in your husband’s jaw. “It would be such a pity if the Lord of Gifts did not receive some form of gratitude in return for the blessings he carries. Does one as pure as you even know of what I speak?”
You hold his gaze as you catch the tip of his thumb between your teeth, giving the pad the lightest lick. Your husband’s throat bobs as he watches.
“Do enlighten me,” he rasps out.
And you fully intend to. His lips are so plump and tempting, close enough that you can all but taste them. You haven’t kissed your husband since before he left for Adar’s camp in Mordor, an obscenely long amount of time already.
“With pleasure,” you whisper—close, so close to giving you both the meeting of lips you so crave...
Not quite.
You push his chest, just enough for him to let you take a step backward with a frustrated little breath. His eyes hold a glint of warning, hunger that might just surface to end your little game if you push it a smidge too far over the edge. But in the end, you like to play, and he likes to indulge you. And it isn’t as though you are dallying about as you slide his outer robe off his shoulders and down his arms. In fact, you are quite unceremoniously hasty, and so your husband straightens his arms by his sides, letting the fabric fall to the floor in a graceless heap around his feet.
Now, for the grey robe beneath, covering him from neck to ankle, humbly adorned with only a simple pattern along the collar... you could, in theory, remove it the old-fashioned way. But you don’t feel particularly inclined to go through the hassle of lifting all that material over his head, and something wild is stirring in your chest, and it’s in your nature, after all, to do things just because.
You produce a dagger from a concealed pocket of your dress, grab your husband’s collar, hook the blade into it and rip! goes the dull fabric with a yank of your hand. Down to his waist the destruction continues, tear after tear as you pull the material away from his body so as not to nick the skin you so greedily reveal with the slashes of your blade.
He does not flinch once, save for a coy lift at the corner of his lips as you toss away the dagger and relieve him of the ruined garb, adding it to the pile of crumpled fabric on the floor. You pay it no more mind than you do his now bare torso, determined to admire him in all his splendor when you finally take him in, head to toe.
“You speak of giving something in return,” he remarks quite casually as your hands next reach straight for the fastenings of his trousers, “yet all you seem to do is take—the very clothes off my back, no less.”
You smirk up at him. “Well, I should like to lay my eyes upon the gift for which I am to repay you first.”
You pull his trousers down in one quick move, proudly stripping him of the last shred of divine decency with which he had clad himself for Celebrimbor’s benefit. He cooperates smoothly as you crouch to yank the pants off his legs one by one, then toss his modest footwear to the side as well, and when you rise back to your full height, your husband stands before you with not a stitch on him.
The most skilled of Elven artists could not capture the exquisite painting which graces your roving eyes. ‘Perfect’ doesn’t begin to describe him—not that you ever regard him as anything less. But in this specific form, he is the very picture of Elven beauty and grace, likely to enchant the eye of most, if not all beings of your kind.
He is much smoother than Halbrand was. The hair on his body is less evident, as light in color as the blond tresses framing his face and not as coarse to the touch, you determine whilst trailing your fingers down his arm, shoulder to wrist. He is no doubt appealing, but you had been quite fond of the dark smattering of hair on Halbrand’s chest, and will surely miss the equally dark trail leading the tantalizing way between his navel and cock.
Speaking of which—that part of him is as glorious as ever, and already quite visibly eager. It would require but a graze of your fingers to grow into his full hardness. But you purposefully avoid that particular bit of enticing flesh as your fingers next trace a delicate line up his thigh, taking a detour along his hip instead. You let your nails scrape his skin ever so slightly as they venture higher, feeling his firm abdomen twitch faintly beneath your touch. He is sculpted with perfect balance, the lines of his muscles painting a stunning picture of bodily strength without too dramatic of a bulk, still allowing for elegance. Your fingers ascend to his chest, traveling across its alluring plane, and come to graze one nipple, earning a hitch in your husband’s breath. Otherwise, he stands perfectly still, subjecting himself to your quiet exploration.
You circle him slowly, your touch uninterrupted as your fingers trace his skin on a path to his shoulder blades. In the meantime, you release his newly long hair from the silver headpiece he had given himself, letting it fall onto the heap of clothes on the floor. You come to a halt facing his back, as beautifully muscled as the front, and—for the love of the Valar you have forsaken, there is nothing objectively different about the shape of his buttocks, but you swear they have grown even more enticing than before. You give one an appreciative caress, fingers following the plump curve of flesh between his upper thigh and lower back, before giving it a most satisfying squeeze.
Your husband releases a short huff of a chuckle. You press yourself against him, still groping his behind as you brush his hair over his shoulder to press a kiss to the top of his spine.
“I find myself in quite the predicament, I’m afraid,” you murmur into his skin. “So exquisite is the gift, I cannot imagine how I am to pay in kind.”
“A gift, by definition, is not paid,” your husband says, giving you a pointed look over his shoulder. “But you may begin by putting an end to this teasing.”
You grin, giving his behind a sharp pinch with just a bit of nail scratch. That finally earns you an undignified gasp from his throat, followed by a scolding tsk as you turn him around by the shoulders.
“I am merely beholding your ‘natural form’, my lord,” you mock Celebrimbor’s earlier words, caressing your husband’s face and chest as you meet his scalding gaze with your sensuous one. “So I may know how best to worship it.”
You all but lunge forward to catch his lips, finally, after the wait of separation as well as your self-imposed delay—
A large hand clamps around your neck. It is your husband, now, who keeps you at bay, lips hovering one tantalizing inch above yours as he grouses, “I believe you mentioned something about kneeling.”
He pushes down on your shoulders with just enough force that you gasp as your knees bend, dropping to the floor at once. He might as well have reached down your throat and ripped the breath from your lungs with his fingers. You look up at your husband, standing above you in all his glory, the light of candles catching in his fair tresses in an ethereal halo. Yet most disarming are the pitch black depths of his eyes, trained onto you with devastating intensity.
“Well, my lady?” His tongue curls around the respectful title in such a way, it somehow sounds degrading. He tilts your chin even further back with a firm knuckle. “How is it that you worship your gods?”
You swallow nothing at all, eyelids fluttering as you stare upwards like a believer at prayer. He does this sometimes, playing along until he doesn’t, flipping the tables and taking charge in the blink of an eye. It almost feels like a physical stroke of your clit, creamy arousal gushing from your core in an instant.
It’s such a slippery slope. The submission. The rawness of it. You’ve both known what it was to be at the mercy of another before, one who had no such thing as mercy. But you do not despair, and you are not afraid. For this is not Morgoth, nor are you a slave. You are free to surrender yourself to him, and few things make you feel so powerful as his craving to be adored by you.
“I have one god, and one alone,” you murmur, holding his gaze as you embrace his legs, clinging to the flesh just below his buttocks and striving to look up despite the angle at which you then bend. “I kneel only to him,” you lay a kiss above one knee, “I worship only at his feet,” then the other.  “I would kill for him,” you kiss him mid-thigh on one leg, “I would die for him,” then the other. “I would live,” you place a kiss right to the side of his cock, “through endless torment,” as well as the other side, “only for him.” You rise on your knees slightly, and press your lips below his navel, pleading with your eyes. For what, it matters not. For anything he might give.
The growl which leaves your husband’s throat is more wild beast than Elf. He takes in his fists your hair and his own hard length, keeping you where he wants as he drags the tip of his cock from the base of your neck to your chin, as though splitting the skin upon the blade of his desire. Arousal smears a trail up your throat. He wants in.
“Show me,” he commands, his tip nudging at your quivering lips. “Show me how you adore me.”
As if you had not already. As if you do not always. But you are beyond glad to remind him. Your tongue darts past your lips to give the slit a sole lick. As he releases his cock to plant his hand onto your shoulder instead, you take hold of his length yourself to flatten it against his stomach. You spare a moment to admire it, so promisingly full and flushed with want, then press your lips to the underside, right at the base, and work your way to the tip with a string of doting kisses. How you love this most sensitive part of him, and cherish each and every twitch with which it responds to your affections.
His hands tense impatiently on your head and shoulder, but he needs not handle you into further action as you finally take his cockhead in your mouth, sucking gently. Then firmly, and over again, until you’re truly fucking him with your mouth, your hand working in tandem to cover the length you cannot swallow with each bob of your head.
The crease in his brow betrays his pleasure, though he stands above you tall and stoic as ever. Even when you swirl your tongue around his tip the way you know drives him wild, even when you reach underneath to fondle the sensitive sack at the base of his manhood. You wish he would reward your efforts with the groans and gasps you know he keeps lodged within his throat. You want to rip them out with your teeth, if need be. And so you take him deep, as deep as he can go inside your throat, all while piercing him with your wanton gaze.
Your husband curses. His fist in your hair tightens, tugs at the roots with just enough force that it stings most deliciously. Control is ripped from you once more as he drives his cock into your throat at his own merciless pace, and if you could, you would smile at your victory in breaking his composure. You grab hold of his buttocks, nails digging into the soft flesh as he buries himself in your mouth, over and over. You’ve gathered more than enough skill over your years together to withstand such an act whilst still drawing some air into your lungs, even if only the barest minimum. Still, a tear slides down your cheek, and you groan around his length, knowing the sound will only add to his pleasure.
“Such beauty,” he muses gruffly, catching your tear with a gentle thumb even as he keeps thrusting. “Such ruin.”
His mind nudges at yours, such a stark contrast between the immaterial caress and his ruthless handling of you. The answer he seeks is written in your eyes, your mind, the same message ringing out over and over from every corner of your being: Grip me, keep me, ruin me. Spill in my mouth. Fill it with your taste. Give me everything.
The enormity of your need for his pleasure is what does him in. He doesn’t stifle, doesn’t deny you the sound of his wrecked groan as he ceases upon a final thrust, cock shoved so deep down your throat that your nose is buried in the fair curls at his base. You shut your eyes as he spills and spills, relishing the throbbing of his flesh on your tongue and the essence of him gliding down your throat. Breathing can wait. Not forever, but for a while.
Your husband, of course, allows it long before you’d have truly struggled. But you still pant for breath the moment he pulls out, and your forehead drops to his thigh as you wipe the mess left on your chin. Not a moment later, your husband tilts your head back, demanding your misty eyes to meet his.
“My love,” he breathes out, the lust in his gaze having melted into something akin to awe. “Oh, my love. How desperately you crave my pleasure.” His chest begins to heave, eyes growing feral with fresh hunger. “As I crave yours.”
He bends down, grabs your waist and hoists you from the ground straight into his arms, at last claiming your lips as you wrap your legs around him with an elated moan. It is as though his end did nothing but spur him into wishing for another, this time whilst buried in your depths. Barely a moment later, he lays you down on your bed, his bare body pressing your clothed one into the mattress. His hips are already nestled between your legs, grinding relentlessly as you write and whine beneath his ravenous kisses of your mouth, then of any bare inch he finds of your neck and chest.
He fists his hands in the shoulders of your dress, and he needs no blade to rip the fabric down your chest unceremoniously. You gasp, mildly indignated—you had been rather fond of that piece. But the sacrifice is well worth it for the unbridled desire on his face as he admires your bare breasts, as though it were his first time seeing them. “This is all I could think of,” he rasps out, “whilst I stood waiting at the gate. What I would do once I could finally touch my wife’s skin, her flesh...” He kneads one breast, staring in marvel as that wonderfully pliant part of you yields beneath his fingers, “This lovely, soft flesh of yours. Look how it calls to me.”
His thumb swipes over one pebbled nipple, indeed straining upward as though reaching for your husband’s touch, just before he descends upon it with the heat of his mouth.
“Yes,” you moan, arching into him greedily. “But my flesh has remained unchanged... for centuries,” you strive to argue as his tongue lavishes that most sensitive peak, teeth tugging in a mean tease at the flesh around it. “Tonight,” you gather your resolve, “I was supposed... to be exploring... you!”
With a great push on that last word, you flip him onto his back. Your husband lets loose a wicked laugh as his head hits the pillow and you roll on top of him, panting.
“It is hardly my fault that you are so easily distracted.” He grins up at you without an ounce of shame. Oh, the audacious little arse of a Maia (whom you would not have any other way).
“As if you are any better,” you retort, and swiftly prove yourself right. You dive much like a vulture aiming to snatch its prey, one hand sinking in his hair as you catch the brand new pointed tip of his ear between your teeth and tug, hard. Your husband gives a sharp grunt, hands flying to grip your hips.
“Hm, I’ve missed these,” you say, suckling at the tender skin as if to soothe the sting you purposely inflicted whilst your husband groans beneath you. “Remember when I made you spill simply from biting them?”
“A most admirable feat,” he growls, “for which I have not the patience at the moment.”
He means to lift his torso off the bed, but you hold him down with a firm hand pressed to his chest. “Ah-ah,” you shake your head, slowly rising to sit up astride him. “I wish to stay right here,” you say, gathering the skirts of your dress pooling over his crotch to help yourself to his newly straining erection, “and admire the view.”
And what a wonderous view indeed. From here, he is laid out below you like a grand feast, offering to the pleasure of your eye every little twitch of the muscles in his neck and abdomen as you give his length a few preparatory pumps. His hair is splayed out on your pillow in fair waves, like the halo of the divine being he now claims to be. You can nearly see why Morgoth had so wished to corrupt him, when he truly was a being of pure light. Though in Morgoth’s place, you would never have been so foolish as to fail in cherishing Mairon’s loyalty like the most precious gift that it was. In Morgoth’s place, you’d have punished your beloved servant with nothing but the most wicked of pleasures, and rewarded his terrible feats in your name with a throne beside yours and a crown placed upon his splendid head.
“Admire?” your husband raises a coy eyebrow, even as he throbs in your fist. “I thought you wished to reward me for my generosity,” he reminds you of the little game you had been playing at the beginning. You are no mighty Vala who can offer him everything he has ever craved on a silver platter, but you need not be, when you are what he needs most desperately.
“What better reward than this?” you smile, and sink onto his length in one swift move, pulling a moan from yourself and a brisk curse in Black Speech from him. Having engulfed him to the hilt, you plant your hands onto his chest, savoring the divine stretch. 
“How does it fit, my love?” your husband asks, thrusting up ever so slightly.
“It’s perfect,” you moan. “So... so perfect.” As always, but you can’t deny you’ve landed at an angle which hits especially right, even before you’re begun to truly ride him.
“Good.” Your husband’s smile drips with pride. “I made it for you.”
It takes a moment for the meaning of his words to sink in. He has made this form, having fully recovered his ability to deliberately choose the shape and size of each part of himself, and—
“Oh,” you let out, your face crumpling with adoration as you melt on the inside. “You’ve gone through such trouble…”
You say it with false modesty, though this is barely a fraction of the lengths to which he had gone for you in the past, as well as barely a necessity. Even a shaft as inauspicious as the handle of a hammer could become an instrument of your pleasure in your husband’s hands, if it were wielded with his incomparable skill and intimate knowledge of your flesh. But whilst form alone is not everything, there is such a thing as a more or less natural fit for any given body. And this particular appendage with which your husband has endowed himself… the length and girth, every vein, every ridge, is specifically tailored to suit your needs. To stretch you perfectly, just on the right side of the light burn he knows you relish without causing you real pain, to rub and press exquisitely against your walls in all the sweetest ways and spots he knows by heart that you would most enjoy.
“No trouble at all, my love,” he says, hands roaming over your thighs. “I made each part of myself to suit my purpose. I desire no offspring, and have no bodily needs apart from those awakened by my wife. So, you see, the sole purpose of my cock... is to pleasure you. Us.” He brings your hand to his lips, the kiss he presses to your knuckles as reverent as though he were greeting you in the midst of an elegant ballroom rather than naked in your bed, buried inside you to the hilt. “I worship only at the feet of my goddess as well.”
He says it like a vow. This time, when he rises from the mattress to gather you close, closer, you make not the slightest move to stop him—distracted again. But you are beyond caring. Beyond teasing games. There is no slow seduction, no calculated rhythm to the manner in which you begin to move, hips rolling frantically into your husband’s.
“Yes, my love,” he urges fervently. “Take what you need.”
As you do, he makes quick work to relieve you of the remnants of your dress, jaw clenched as your heat swallows him over and again in its velvety depths. He pulls and tears at the fabric, throws it away as if it were standing between him and the healing of Middle-Earth itself, and his wife is at last bared atop him, bouncing prettily on his cock.
“Nothing beneath,” he remarks, a most delicious reprimand as he gropes at your waist, urging you in your movements. “Is such the custom among the ladies of Eregion these days?”
A short laugh finds its way through the string of gasps and moans that leave your throat. “I’ve not worn undergarments since you arrived at the gate.”
“Of course not,” he purrs, the twisted pride in his gaze going straight to the onslaught of pleasure already between your legs. “My beautiful wife, waiting for me with open arms and a bare cunt. Soaked the moment you laid eyes upon me, were you not?”
All the answer he gets is a pitiful whine, and your lips sloppily catching his in a needy kiss. Seated in his lap, with your arm wrapped around his shoulders and your hand sunk into his hair, you are in control over the pace of your thrusts as well as utterly helpless with adoration. He holds you in the circle of his arms so fiercely, tears gather at the corner of your eyes as you pull away to take in your beloved’s expression. His beautiful lips, slightly parted in pleasure. His eyes, darkened to near slits with unbridled desire for you. Only for you.
“I love you,” you all but sob, your hips clashing into his so ruthlessly, you would fear for the anatomy of any lesser being of male form subjected to such treatment. Your mind is as frantic as the tempest in your core, on the verge of unraveling. “I love you, I love you so much—”
“All the heart I have left is yours,” he says in a ragged breath, nails digging into your shoulderblades. “Yours, always yours.”
If that wasn’t enough, the heat of his seed filling you to the brim does you in. Your peak has you clenching around your husband’s throbbing cock as though you mean to cage him within you for the rest of all time, and what a tempting prospect that is.
You slack against him, breathing heavily into his neck. Incoherent fragments of endearments leave your lips, but not even you can tell what you are saying. Your husband cradles your head, shushing you softly through the aftershocks of your release, and lies back against the pillows with you securely in his arms. You hum tiredly as he pulls out, and use the little strength left in your limbs to shift downward so that you may rest your head on your husband’s chest. He needs no heartbeat, but it soothes you to feel it beneath your cheek, strong and slowly settling down after the wonderful exertion through which you had put his form.
“I take it, then,” he says into the blissful silence that has fallen between you, “that my new visage is to your liking.”
You give a soft, tired laugh. Lifting yourself enough that you can gaze down at your husband’s face, you cup his cheek with an adoring smile.
“I liked you rough around the edges, imperfectly human,” you murmur, fingertips grazing the fine lines at the corner of his eye. “I like you smooth and pristine, descended from a great cloud of golden light. I like this face as well as any other, so long as I am looking in my beloved’s eyes.” You press a short kiss to his smiling lips. “It does not hurt, of course, that he tends to be unbearably fair.”
A small chuckle rumbles from his chest to yours. “I do try. But I admit I wonder,” he goes on, growing thoughtful, “now that I am able to change at will once more... whether you would prefer me as I was.”
His question gives you pause, your brow knitting slightly. He does not find such a prospect hurtful, you feel, but he is rather curious to know the answer.
“Would you prefer me as I was?” you ask in turn. “If I were... changed somehow, as you have been?”
His eyes caress your face as his knuckles graze your cheekbone, deeply tender. “I cannot say I would not mourn, if only for a while, the exact arrangement of lines and curves which shaped your form when I first held you in my arms,” he confesses, soft-spoken. “But I would prefer my beloved as she wishes to be.”
Many times, he has been loving to you, but there is a particular flavour to the moments when he is so plainly… sweet. His words move you in a way that makes you feel oddly fragile, sending your heart aflutter as only a being much younger and less scarred than you might be able to feel. You lay your head on your husband’s chest, closing your eyes to savour the sentiment. Yet, as his fingers graze your skin in loving patterns, a trace of old sorrow creeps into your heart. How lucky you are to be lying in your husband’s arms, discussing whether you would prefer one face over another, when you had once wondered how many Ages would have to pass before you could finally be at each other’s side once more.
“I was ill,” you murmur suddenly, cheek still pressed to his heart. “When they took you. For a long time. Ill of mind. As though part of it had shattered and the splinters kept shredding at what little was left of it. I began to... slip, between reality and waking dreams that felt so real, I could no longer tell the difference. At times, I was grateful for it. Because in the ruins of my mind, you had returned to me with a crown upon your head, and you took me in your arms and I was whole again, if only until the fiction fell apart and left me even more bereft than I had been before. Sometimes, I fell into memories, reliving Morgoth’s torments as though they had never ended, but even within those I longed to remain forever. For there, you were with me, and no pain could compare to that of being without you. But once... once, I lived not the past I craved, nor the one that had come to pass. I was... someone else. Someone I had been before Morgoth. And so were you. In fact... there had never been a Morgoth.”
The hand with which your husband was caressing your hair comes to a hesitant halt. You feel him tense, in body and in mind, feel his disquiet upon hearing such words. But he remains silent, and allows you to gather his hand in your own.
“It came to me in glimpses, moments over time, strung together into one story,” your voice is soft in a foreign way as you begin the tale, your fingers idly playing with his before your far away eyes. “What I first felt was light—the light of the Trees, warm upon my face. The skies of Valinor, clear abovehead, the soft grass grazing my bare feet where I sat by the creek. I was… singing. A song of my own making which I cannot remember, and which I am not sure I ever truly knew. But it was cut short, for I was startled by a sudden presence. Rising in haste to my feet, I turned to find the mightiest of the Maiar of Aulë himself standing only a few paces out of reach, his beautiful face awed as well as a touch apologetic. You had not meant to disturb my peace. But so enchanting you had found my voice as you were passing by, you said, that you wished to capture it in one of your creations.
“And so, at your invitation, I began to visit the great forge where the wonders of your mind were brought into being. I was so… shy, I barely dared to address you. But there was such peace in the silences we shared, such ease, that even though we were near perfect strangers, I felt as though we had already spoken every word in the world, and nothing remained to be said of our existence which we had yet to confess to one another most openly.
“You asked me to sing as you shaped metal, as you gave form to wondrous gems. And when I did, you looked at me as though I were the most precious being to have ever breathed in the light of the One. At times, you would forget yourself, and whilst precious materials awaited to be shaped before you, your hands would find mine instead. And they were able to do so with ease, for the more times I joined you in your forge, the closer together we stood.
“But you would not tell me what it was that you meant to craft, shrouding the work of your hands, somehow, from my eyes, even when I looked closely. Only because I let you, though. I knew I could look past the illusion and peek at any moment, but I made a game of it—trying to guess in what manner of adornment you meant to capture my voice. And each time I returned, you would gift me the very jewel I had last guessed, whether wrongly or not. Not the creation you meant to achieve in the end, but lesser ones crafted in my absence, during uninterrupted hours of toil. ‘Lesser’ being but a manner of comparison, for they were the most exquisite I had ever laid eyes upon. But I would have delighted in wearing something as simple as a bracelet made of grassblades, had I known them to have been entwined by your hands.
“On the day your work was finished, my heart was filled with such sorrow thinking our hours together might come to an end. For however plainly our eyes and joined hands had spoken of our feelings, such was my timid nature that I had never dared voice them, and you had never risked bringing offence to my virtue by speaking of yours. Not until you had completed your work, and you finally revealed to me what your end had been from the very beginning. It had not been one jewel you meant to craft, but two. Two splendid rings—neither of power, nor of symbolic importance to any but you and I. With your gifts, you had woven my voice into the gems, and in a way impossible to capture into words, the light reflected upon it shone with the echo of my song. Only then, as you placed one of the pair into my hands, did you confess that you had loved me since the moment you had first heard my voice, and your greatest desire would be for those twin jewels to become the symbols of devotion with which we become wed. Nevertheless, were it not my wish to bind myself to you, the other ring would be mine, to gift, if I should like, to the most fortunate being with whom I would choose to share my soul, whilst you would content yourself to love me from afar, and wish me nothing but the greatest of joy for so long as existence should be. At once I confessed that such a thought was not only absurd, but also too painful to bear—for my heart had been yours since the moment I had laid eyes upon you.
“And so we wed in song and merriment, and we danced under the radiant branches of the Trees, celebrated by your kin and mine alike. We made love in a meadow, soft and slow, and for hours you caressed my skin with petals yielded by a blossom tree in honor of our union. Even that act of passion was somehow so clean. So pure. So...” you search for the right way to describe it, “...wrong.”
It’s as though a spell breaks upon that last, dissonant word. You roll off of your husband, settling onto your side to face him as he does the same. His expression is hard to read, some blend of unease and intrigue in the furrow of his brow.
“For the first time, when the fiction ended, I did not weep,” you tell him, your voice no longer dreamy, but returned to a more familiar fierceness. “For I knew not those beings I had seen. Devoid of purpose, endlessly demure. Light and songs, desire kept secret beneath bashful smiles,” you scoff. “I wanted back the husband that I loved, not some unrecognizable version of him wearing his face. Not some children’s story of infuriating innocence.” With a small shake of your head against the pillow, and a soft, mirthless chuckle, you shift closer into your husband’s arms, both of you adjusting so that you are embracing on your sides. “So, no, my love,” is the answer you ultimately give, “I do not wish for either of us to be anything but what we are, here and now, in body as well as spirit.”
Your husband only hums, deep in thought. He has not said a word since you began to speak, and the longer his silence stretches, the more you begin to wonder whether your confession has displeased him, somehow. Perhaps he does not wish to hear of this romantic scenario your mind had invented, despite its protagonist being but a different version of himself. Or perhaps...
You’ve rarely spoken of what came before. It is a surprise as well as a relief, then, when he does so without seeming too unsettled by the fact that you had alluded to his former self in the first place.
“I was not as you described, indeed,” he murmurs in the end. “Even with my original... disposition, I’d not have hesitated to make my desire known, should I have had any such inclinations towards another. I have always hated a waste of good resources—time is no exception.”
You smile slightly. You know that all too well.
“Nor was I some helpless maiden who shied away from the slightest of amorous attentions,” you assure him. “I doubt it, either way,” you shrug. “I can hardly remember.”
Elven memories do not dim. You do remember what your life before Morgoth was like, but the details of it—the faces, the words spoken, the feelings… those have long been tucked away in a deep corner of your mind, never to be spoken or thought of again. For what use was there to it? That life had been burned away, along with everything you used to be.
“Either way,” you go on, brushing off even the merest thought of that distant past, “it was but a dull fable, conjured by a broken mind. I healed soon after. Reminded myself why I needed to remain sane and strive to do all that I can towards our goal, whether you were to return in a day or a century. Or several,” you add quietly, holding onto your husband just that little bit tighter. His forehead creases with the same deep ache in your chest as he nudges your nose with his.
“Let us not dwell on the past, or things that never were,” he murmurs in his deep, comforting tone. “I am here. And I shall not leave your side again.”
There is still an oddly meditative lilt to his words, a certain sense of wistfulness that does not quite hold the same flavour as the longing you had felt so many times shared between you. But you make no attempt to pry at the sentiment with your mind. Especially as he closes the distance between your lips, kissing you with utmost gentleness.
The kiss deepens, lasts for ages, but remains achingly tender. Utterly disarming. Your legs intertwine, bringing your hips flush together in the tangle. His flesh finds yours, and before long you are joined. There is no power play, no teasing, not even the desperate, nearly pained gasps, wails or groans you so enjoy to wring from one another. Only every inch of him pressed against every inch of you, soft moans melting onto each other’s tongues, the languid pleasure of moving together to an end that envelops you in its warm embrace, leaving you trembling in your husband’s arms and him moaning your name like a most sacred prayer.
In its wake, you are beyond words. All you can do is bury your face in your husband’s chest as he holds you close still, his fingers drawing soft shapes on your skin.
“I’d have made my desire for you known,” he repeats his earlier words in your ear, hushed but fervent, “and I’d never have bowed before Morgoth. For no promise of power could have swayed me to risk your safety. And we’d have stayed servants of the Valar, pure and obedient. It is only as we are now, my love, that we shall be masters of our own fate, and rule above all others.”
You shut your eyes, nuzzle further into his neck, his words sending a shiver through your very soul. This life you have shared is not easy. Not pretty. But in the end, it shall be glorious, better than any other that you might have lived. Truly.
It has to be.
As you drift to sleep, you swear your husband’s caress holds the ghost of a tender petal brushing your skin.
Previous fic with same reader -> As one
Next fic with same reader -> A true gift
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petit-etoile · 1 year ago
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Enemies to Lovers scenario with Astarion; The two are close enough to be friends, Tav accidentally calls him starlight, you decide how Astarion reacts to their little slip up.
ours are  untidy souls
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pairing: astarion/tav wordcount:  1,126 content warnings:  no fighting but the aftermath,  minor mentions of injuries but no-indepth descriptions other tags:canon compliant, canon-typical violence, introspection, character study, hurt/comfort, whump, pre-relationship, gender neutral tav, human!tav archiveofourown: here.
tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, be added to the taglist here
summary:
‘It is bitter,’ he says. ‘It will heal,’ you tell him. ‘It might hold a grudge,’ he says. ‘It will survive,’ you insist.
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The Grymforge Guardian falls with little regard to its creator. Steam billows from the cool metal, and the Forge has broken pieces off of it that may never be repaired. You sag against the lever for but a moment to catch your breath. You wait for the ground to cool and the red-hot metal to return to a more natural color before tentatively touching your the toe of your boot to it. You decide it's cooled enough.
You race over to the second lever. Shadowheart is quick to make it to the center to check on Karlach who is lying next to the Guardian in a bundled heap, but you race to Astarion’s side and kneel next to him on the smoking platform. He’s resting against the other lever, head forward, and everywhere you touch is bruised and sweaty. You push his curls back from his forehead and cup his jaw so that he’s forced to look at you, and although the flickering of his eyelashes makes your stomach ache, he’s breathing and that’s good enough for you for now.
You push your hand against his shoulder and feel the heat leave his body to meld into yours. Astarion’s lungs fill with air in relief, and when he opens his eyes, he meets your gaze unevenly.
‘Don’t rush, starlight,’ you say cautiously. ‘Take it easy until Shadowheart can come to you.’
Astarion’s eyes soften and he closes them quickly to hide the betrayal. All around him lay the bodies of the imps he fought. Honestly, the team you put together handled it pretty well with little to no practice, navigating as one despite the  strange levers and a gargantuan thing swinging at them. You thank the gods for giving you Karlach, because the thought of you potentially having to go head to head with the Guardian by yourself almost makes you wish the worm would finish eating your memories.
You take in all of Astarion’s wounds. Little bites and nail scratches, a bruise on his cheekbone, but mostly, the heat has made him malleable and exhausted in your hands. You take it upon yourself to heal some of the more minor injuries he has. He doesn’t seem to breathe as you pour a drop of your potion into a bite on his shoulder or a nasty burn on his thigh, but he does stop you before you can take a better look at his cheek.
‘I’m fine,’ he says shortly.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to tend to this?’ you ask.
You do touch his bruise then, and Astarion hisses at you like a wild beast. Before, you might have flinched away from his scary display but after these last few weeks, you know better. He’s scared of your kindness. He doesn’t know what to expect even though your hand is delicate. You press your thumb against a tender purple knot, and you can tell that it takes all of Astarion’s willpower to not snap at you.
‘Maybe I will let Shadowheart take care of this one,’ you say nervously. ‘It seems tender.’
Astarion’s jaw clenches. He thinks.
‘No,’ he says with finality. ‘I think  —  I think I would prefer it if you did it.’ 
You watch the pretty curve of his neck bobble when he swallows. He turns his chin towards you and refuses to look at you. He’s being brave. He’s being willing. Slowly, you touch the bruise again with shaking fingers.
In a move that reminds you all too much of Scratch and the Owlbear, Astarion leans his head into your touch. You’re captivated by the tremble in his eyelashes, the slope of his eyebrows as he fights a scowl, and the sad way he frowns. You feel his cheek for any sign of the unordinary, but there’s nothing but a bruise.
‘I don’t think a potion will help with this one, unfortunately,’ you whisper. ‘There’s nothing  —  There’s nothing wrong with it.’
‘It is bitter,’ he says.
‘It will heal,’ you tell him.
‘It might hold a grudge,’ he says.
‘It will survive,’ you insist.
Astarion says nothing. If the bruise is hurting him, he doesn’t acknowledge it. All he does is rest in your hands as if lifting his head on his own is too much effort. You allow him this touch. It’s the first time he’s allowed you to initiate anything even remotely affectionate. It makes your eyes water a little to think about it. You decide to say nothing lest it embarrasses him. You cherish this moment and slowly, you ease him into your arms more so that he’s leaning against your upper body, his ear at your heart.
Quietly, Astarion says, ‘Say it again.’
At first, you aren’t sure what it is that he wants. You want to tell him that he will heal, that he will survive, that he may not forgive or forget, but that he will overcome. Instead, you pet his hair as carefully as you can to avoid jostling him and press a tentative kiss to the top of his head. He burrows deeper into your arms and sighs like a weight has been lifted off his chest. In some ways, you think it has. You hold him as gently as you can.
‘You’re going to be fine, starlight,’ you say  —  and you’re partially shocked at how easily it rolls off the tip of your tongue. You’re almost certain that Astarion huffs at it, but he isn’t upset. No, it’s something entirely else.
You’re holding something delicate in your hands. Astarion would not be like this with anyone else but you. He trusts you, and honestly, the thought terrifies you. It’s not that you have to be careful. It’s not that you have to be cognizant. It’s that there is something so genuine about the bond he is offering you on his own terms. He is choosing to be vulnerable with you. It makes your throat close up.
You would cry if you weren’t so worried about everyone. Astarion eventually pulls away from the safety of your arms and appraises you himself. He smudges smoky residue away from underneath one of your eyes and takes a look at a nasty cut you received to your scalp, but all it takes is a little drop of the potion shared between you to get it to where it doesn’t need stitches. You two sit facing one another, your hands meekly in your lap, Astarion sagging forward as though his only desire is to find a bed. Eventually, he looks up at you and with faint exhaustion clouding the openness of his features, and chews on his bottom lip.
‘You can say it again,’ he says.
You smile for the first time in hours. ‘Alright, starlight.’
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ssa-atlas-alvez · 4 months ago
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It Takes A Village Part 1 (Y/N Hotchner)
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Warnings: some foul language, criminal minds level amount of gore
A/N: sorry this took so long to do lol it turned out to be mostly what I've written before lol
You weren’t pissed per se, just more… shocked, and maybe a little hurt, that Derek hadn’t spoken to you. One moment you were trying to fill out paperwork from a million different files, the next Derek and Garcia were telling the team they had found Declan. You had opted to wait with Garcia for Aaron to come back. It had been a hot minute since you’d seen him.
“Holy shit, you grew a beard?!” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth. 
From there, everything was a blur. Doyle was in custody, he wasn’t exactly being helpful - which was annoying as it was his son you were trying to find afterall. 
“You get anywhere with Doyle?” Reid asked, as JJ, Derek, and Rossi walked back into the round table room.
“Doyle doesn’t think Gerace has the guts to take him on.” Derek said, you rolled your eyes. Of course he doesn’t, the man has a massive ego.
“But that’s definitely Gerace on the tape.” Garcia sighed as she sat down. 
Derek turned to your brother as he walked into the room. “Welcome back.”
“Thanks. Everybody take a seat.” You frowned, his tone (and eyebrows) indicating that something was definitely up. 
“Why? What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Derek asked, taking a seat next to you.
Aaron looked at you all, you were with Jack on this, you were not a fan of the beard. “Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team.” Your brother stated. “As you all know Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle.”
You swallowed, hand reaching for Derek’s under the desk.
“But the doctors were able to stabilise her.” Aaron continued. “And she was airlifted from Boston to Bethesda under a covert exfiltration.”
You looked at your brother in disbelief, this didn’t make any sense. “Her identity was strictly need-to-know. And she stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned to Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for her security.” 
“She’s alive?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 
“But we buried her.” Reid stated, looking up at Hotch from his seat. 
“As I said, I take full responsibility for the decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.”
“Any issues?” Derek asked, his voice clipped. “Yeah, I got issues.”
You turned, seeing Emily. Your face dropped. What the fuck. Maybe you were going insane? That was the only other option. Otherwise your brother had lied to you. The one person (apart from Derek) that you thought would never lie to you.
You turned to Aaron, who winced when he saw the hurt and betrayal that filled your eyes. You took a deep breath and just like that, the mask was up and the betrayal was hidden. You turned to Emily, “It’s great to see you’re okay,”
“It’s good to see you too.” She said, giving you a smile. 
You listened patiently as they all discussed the case. You didn’t have it in you. You just listened. As they continue, realising that the alpha of the team (a phrase you struggled to take seriously) was in fact a woman. When the team parted ways to investigate, you stood to make your way to the bathroom. 
“(Y/N)-”
“I don’t want to speak to you right now,”
“(Y/N), please just listen-”
“What, Aaron? You are the one person I could always trust and I did,” You paused, “There was no one else I trusted completely. I trusted you so much, you’re my big brother Aaron. I’ve always trusted you- not mum, not dad, heck I don’t even trust Sean as much, but you? I’ve always trusted you,”
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, “We couldn’t tell anyone, it was for Emily’s safety,”
“We?”
“Me and JJ,”
“Right,” You said shortly, “JJ knew.”
“Just let me explain,”
“There’s nothing to explain.” You said shortly. “Emily’s alive and you chose to keep it from me.” 
“I had to,”
“Why because of protocol? Because it needed to be confidential?” You knew what you said was right because Aaron’s eyebrow softly twitched. “Who else would I have told Aaron? Who else? I don’t speak to anyone outside of this team! I don’t have a family, a Haley, a Will, children, fuck, I don’t even have a Sergio! I’ve got this team, that’s it! I wouldn’t have told anyone because I don’t have anyone to tell! You know that. That’s what hurts Aaron. So no, I don’t want to listen to you come up with some lame, half-ass excuse about safety.”
“(Y/N), I couldn't tell you in case you told anyone.” 
“Who would I have fucking told Aaron?! Who would I have told?!” You yell, fist slamming into the desk in front of you. “I have fuck all else! My life is this team and that's it! And you fucking know it! So please, tell me, who would I have told!”
You watch Aaron open his mouth for a split second before closing as he looks down.
“You know what, Aaron? Go fuck yourself. I can’t be fucked to deal with this right now.” You give him a tight smile before walking away.
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queenshelby · 6 months ago
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Our Little Secret (Part 40)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Warning: Infidelity, Age-Gap,
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When Cillian arrived at home, he was surprised when he saw Amanda's car parked in the driveway and her sitting on his porch, looking at him as he walked through the gate.
"What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he spotted her, trying to avoid the impending confrontation.
Amanda looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and defiance. "I wanted to talk to you. To explain things," she said, her voice quiet and hesitant.
"Am, there is nothing for us to talk about. You spiked my fucking drink and tried to ruin my life," Cillian spat out, feeling a surge of anger and disgust as he looked at her.
"I know, I'm sorry. I was stupid and impulsive, and I can't take it back," Amanda replied, her voice trembling as she looked up at Cillian. "But I wanted to apologize and explain why I did it."
Cillian shook his head, feeling his anger and disgust grow as he looked at Amanda. "I don't care why you did it. It doesn't change anything," Cillian said, cutting her off. "You had no right to interfere in my life like that," his voice was filled with venom and anger.
Amanda looked down at her hands, her eyes filling with tears. "I know, I messed up. It was a stupid and rash decision, one that I regret now," she said softly. "But I did it because I still love you Cillian. I always have. I can't help it." Amanda whispered, her voice trembling as she looked up at Cillian with tears in her eyes.
Cillian stared down at Amanda, his anger and disgust warring with a deep sense of pity. He knew that she had been hurting since their break-up, that she had been struggling to move on just like he had, but he never imagined that she would go to such lengths to try and get him back. It was a reckless and dangerous decision, one that could have ended with disastrous consequences.
"Amanda, that's not love. What you did was dangerous," Cillian said, his voice laced with anger and betrayal. He couldn't believe that Amanda would stoop so low, all because she couldn't let go.
Amanda's face fell, and tears began to stream down her cheeks as she looked up at Cillian. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I just wanted you back," Amanda choked out, as she continued to sob uncontrollably.
"Look, Amanda, I can't just forget what you did. But I do appreciate the apology," he said, his voice softening slightly as he looked at her. 
Amanda nodded, her eyes still filled with tears as she looked up at him. "Thank you Cillian. The whole ordeal with, you know, the abortion and all took a really bad toll on me. I have been struggling with terrible guilt after the procedure and I know that, what I did, was dumb. I shouldn't have blamed you for it all," she admitted, her voice wavering as she spoke.
Cillian sighed deeply, feeling conflicted. He knew that Amanda was hurting, and he felt somewhat responsible for that.
"I never asked you to have the procedure," he reminded her, gently and Amanda nodded, looking down at her hands. 
"I know, but you left me for Y/N shortly after and I was just really hurt,"  she whispered, still fighting back tears.
"I did, but I never meant to hurt you, Am," Cillian admitted, his voice laced with regret. "And I thought that I could make it work with Y/N just after Mara was born, which is why I left you.  But hey, apparently, I can't," Cillian  confessed, his voice laced with that same regret, as he looked down at the floor and shook his head.
Amanda sniffled before wiping her tears away with the back of her hand. "Well, it looks like you are as unhappy as I am, huh?" she said, looking up at Cillian with a contrite expression and he realised that, perhaps, after what had just transpired, he was. 
There was silence between them for a while as they both remembered the past and the pain that they had caused each other.
"Do you, uhm," Cillian finally broke the silence, trailing off before looking at Amanda with a serious expression. "Do you want to come in for a wine? I could actually do with some company" he said, his voice low and hesitant. 
"Are you sure you actually want that?" Amanda  asked, a hint of surprise in her voice as she looked up at Cillian. "I mean, after everything that has happened between us, I didn't think that you would want me to come in," she continued, her voice softer now, tinged with an undertone of sadness.
Cillian looked at Amanda for a long moment before eventually nodding. "Just don't spike my drink again ," he said, his voice laced with a hint of sarcasm.
Amanda chuckled, wiping away the last of her tears. "I promise I won't. I've learned my lesson," she said, looking up at Cillian with a hint of a smile.
"I fucking well hope so," Cillian shrugged  and opened the front door, letting her in.
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ceruleanskies48 · 4 months ago
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Dead Mothers of BES pt. 4 (Mizu)
Mizu, Taigen, Akemi, and Ringo are very different characters, but the two things they all have in common are shitty fathers and dead mothers (at least from our Season 1 knowledge). The shitty fathers part is pretty self-explanatory, but let’s dig into what we know about their dead mothers and what we might speculate.
Part 1: Akemi's mom
Part 2: Ringo's mom
Part 3: Taigen's mom
To close out this series, let's talk about the elephant in the room, Mizu's (biological) mom.
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How do we know she’s dead?
At the end of Ep. 8, Fowler says that one of the remaining white men (Skeffington or Routely) killed Mizu’s mother. While it’s true Fowler could be lying, I personally don’t think he is. This is the piece of information he leads with when trying to convince Mizu not to kill him, so it’d be very risky if it were false. He doesn’t know what Mizu knows, so if her mom were alive and she knew that, she would just kill him for lying. In addition, if Mizu’s mom were alive, it would be more advantageous for Fowler to say that and dangle information about her whereabouts to entice Mizu to keep him alive. 
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When did she die?
Assuming Fowler is telling the truth, she died at the time of the fire we see at the beginning of Ep. 3, when Mizu was an infant, assassins were sent to kill her, and she was passed to her maid to be put into hiding. Presumably her mother was killed shortly before or after that scene. 
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How did she die?
Either the assassins killed her, Skeffington/Routely personally killed her, or she died in the fire.
What was she like?
The fact that she had a maid taking care of Mizu suggests that she was well-off. This is also implied by the fact that the maid was paid to hide Mizu. The maid did so for 5 years (according to the character designers, Mizu was 6 when she met Swordfather, at which point her hair had grown back, so she must have been around 5 when the hut burned down since she was bald at the time), but the maid was likely paid enough to support them for all of Mizu’s childhood if she had not become addicted to opium.
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Mizu’s mom was most likely married to someone of the same race since she was able to carry the pregnancy to term and give birth without issue. This presumably would have been very scandalous if she were unmarried. Mizu thinks her mother was raped, but it’s more likely her parents were in love given that her mother took great risks in going through with her pregnancy and had the means to terminate it.
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If Mizu’s mom was Japanese, she must have been a noblewoman who fell in love with one of the white men. If she was white, she must have come to Japan with one of the four white men, perhaps as his wife or sister. In this case, her father was likely a very high-status Japanese nobleman given the size of the bounty put specifically on Mizu’s head. Assuming Fowler is telling the truth about either Skeffington or Routely killing her mom, it’s more likely that she was the wife of one of them, so the killing was motivated by betrayal at her infidelity. 
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The fact that Mizu was carried to term, not killed by her mother shortly afterward (once she saw her blue eyes), and put into hiding also implies that her mom loved her deeply. She knew her daughter’s existence and her blue eyes would cause huge trouble and danger for both of them, but she decided to keep Mizu anyway. This is also why I tend to believe Fowler that she’s dead. Given how much she loved Mizu and wanted to stay with her, it seems unlikely she wouldn’t have tried to find or contact Mizu if she were still alive.  
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bloodycassian · 1 year ago
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Bow + Scrape, angst. TW - cheating/mention of bodily harm/groveling
Anon Req. "in the mood for angst lol what about cassian x reader, marriage in crisis, grovelling etc"
Thanks anon, this was a bit therapeutic
A deep, soul level crack had been leveled inside of you when you’d seen Cassian being bounced on by a petite female at Rita’s.A server off her shift, likely half as drunk as Cassian was, and a horrible dancer as she leaned up against him and shook her body at him. A deep well of unnerving feelings erupted from the canyon in your being, followed by a cold, calm fury that overlapped all else. 
You watched for a long while, sitting across the bar, debating if killing your partner would land you in a regular trial or if you’d be dragged straight to the prison beneath the mountain by his brethren. 
His eyes half closed and dazed could only half focus upon her as she twirled and stomped to the beat the band played. His hands rested upon her hips, but didn’t move from there while she swayed to a slower song. The hands that had done everything from wipe away your tears to make you squirm while he was making you come. The ones that now betrayed you, that took your trust and care for the male and tossed it into the abyss of your heart as it split wide. 
He slammed a handful of coin into the females hands at one point, and began stumbling through the crowd. You slipped out the door before he could notice you there, racing back to your apartment. The burn of cold air against your lungs a welcome distraction from the hatred and disgust that roiled in your stomach. 
You slept beside him that night, cringing away from his hands and flushed body. Your eyes were wide, staring out at the glow of streetlights through the sheer curtains. Planning, curating your hurt and betrayal into something tangible. With every small detail that fell into place, it made it more bearable to be at his side, at least for one more night.
The tears came silently, but profusely in the bathroom. You mourned, you pleaded to wake up from the nightmare, but there was no end. The only relief from the hot, overwhelming grief was the chilled tile against your cheek when you passed out in the bathroom.
In the morning you cooked his favorite breakfast, and ran down to the shops to get his favorite coffee. You plated everything, then particularly loudly began doing dishes. He emerged shortly after, rubbing at his face and groaning. He sighed when seeing the bevy of food, and began eating immediately. No good morning, no thanking you, not a single acknowledgement. 
Your rage began anew. You gripped a butter knife, stared at the small serrated edge, and scrubbed viciously at it’s surface.
Your love for him had been replaced by the cold bitterness that you’d honed into a million different words, different jabs and arguments to hurl at him now. Killing him wouldn’t give him the same suffering he’d offered you. Death was too easy, living and knowing he’d hurt the one who loved him most was a much better alternative. 
Once the dishes were done, you sat across from him, where half the plates sat empty and a small drip of coffee marred his white shirt. His head rested in his hands, nursing the pounding in his head. Your excitement to make him hurt was ungodly. 
“Tell me what you did last night.” You demanded. There was no room for conversation in this. If he didn’t tell you on his own, there would be no point in trying further. It was your sign to get out.
He cradled his head in one hand still, gnawing on a piece of bacon. “Huh? ‘Dya mean?” He breathed, scratching at his tangled hair.
“You have two chances to answer me Cassian. What did you do last night?” You said the question slowly, allowing him to hear the rage in your voice.
“You know where I was, we talked about this before I went out.” His tone sharpened, and he looked at you with a frustrated expression. It only fueled your fire. You wanted him to worry about this, you wanted him to stress. You wanted to see your pain tenfold be unleashed upon him. A vengeful, dark part of you wanted his penance to be unending. You’d given him everything, every part of you without limit, an unending well of love and he so easily went and… nausea made your stomach clench in disgust at the memory of his hands upon her, the way he’d watched her.
“With Azriel, right? At Ritas… So who else was there?” You spat, wishing you had something to hold on to, somewhere to place the tension that seeped from every fiber of your being.
He froze, his face going paler than it already was. His mouth popped open, then his brows pulled together. “Did I-” He began, then the food fell from his hand. “I-” He stood, the chair scuttling out from under him when he did. 
You watched, cold and furious as he recalled exactly what he did. 
“Baby I-” He went to you, making the distance in two long strides of his muscled legs. He stopped though, his hands reaching for you. He knew better. He knew just what kind of injuries he’d end up with if he tried touching you when you were angry. He’d had to learn the hard way more than a few times, but never to this extent. 
He’d never done this. You’d never expect him to do anything quite like this. It certainly wasn’t predictable by the way he treated you normally.
“Holy shit.” He buried his face in his hands, his voice going muffled. “Holy shit honey, baby- I’m….” His head moved back and forth slowly, and when his hands moved in front of him, in a praying motion, his eyes were glassy, wet marks appearing upon his cheeks. “I am so sorry- no… Sorry doesn’t begin-” He sighed, and a fresh wave of tears washed across his face.
You couldn’t help but smile at them. At his hurt. At the same time, the part of you that cared for him - the part that was locked away behind a frozen door at the moment - reached for him, cried with him and wanted to hold him and make him better. That part of you, the portion of you that loved him that he’d torn to pieces, and you weren’t sure if it could be fixed.
He reached for you, and when you did not move he placed a hand upon yours. You were frozen, stuck between the strange sense of wanting to go to him and wanting to crucify him. “I thought- no… I- I’m-” He struggled for the words, his other hand pulling hard at his hair. “I’m going to fix this.” He said, his eyes meeting yours. 
“How? I dont think they’ve made a potion to erase memories yet, Cassian. I guess unless you get as drunk as you did, then that counts as one.”
“I know I- I’m a fucking idiot. I… There are no excuses. There’s not a thing I can fucking say to justify it and-” He stood suddenly, then went to the bedroom. You waited, nearly getting up when he came back with his weapons belt. He went back to his knees before you, laying out the items, different knives, small tools, a blunt hammer, the black stone you’d gotten him to sharpen his blades with. “Take your pick. Do what you’d like.”
“I wont-”
“I’m deserve it.”
“I know. Hurting you like this isn’t even close to the pain that you’ve made me feel, though.” 
He crumpled at that, tears rushing down his cheeks as he paced the dining area, his hands upon his head as he took deep, choked breaths. He wasn’t used to this kind of anger from you. He was used to the yelling, to the easy hot and fast arguments that left your voice raw and made wanting to slap him so easy. 
“She didn’t even look like me Cassian-”
“I know, I was drunk and fucking stupid and thats all I have as an excuse.” He managed, his voice wavering. 
“Did you want to fuck her?” You asked calmly. 
He bit his lip, eyes squinted shut and shook his head. “No.” He breathed. 
“Or you already have, and I just caught it before it could happen this time?”
“No, nothing like that- not ever. I have no reason. Not when I have you.”
“Had.” You corrected quickly. 
He hung his head. 
A long silence passed, the pale sunlight painting the dining area in blues and greys. Children outside laughed and screamed as they played in the puddles left overnight. Your mind flashed to the instances when you and he had discussed children, how he’d held your belly, imagining it round with his child. The hands that’d held the hips of that barmaid. 
He went to the pantry, and came out with several bottles of his various liquors. A tendril of his siphons power popped the corks on several, if not cracking the glass mouth entirely. He then laid them all down in the sink and went to you, grasping your hands in both of his own. 
“I am going to fix this. Look-” He moved his head to catch your gaze. “I’m going to do everything. I’m going to make this right, if you want me to burn Rita’s to the ground I’ll make it happen. I’d defy the mother to make it like it never happened. I can’t change that it did, I can’t take it back but gods above I would if I could. If you’d give me the chance to though, if you’re willing to allow me to try -” His voice caught, his chin quivering before he continued. “to make you love me, make you trust me again. If you’d have me.”
Your eyes swam, your cold demeanor, your will to see him suffer cracking beneath his words. 
The hurt still roared beneath it all though.
But if he was willing to try… if he still wanted you, if it’d been a drunken mistake- 
“Nothing you ever do can make this go away.”
“I know, I know baby.” He brushed his thumb over your knuckles. “I don’t expect it to.”
“You’ll never be away from this, from your fuck up- are you saying you’re okay with hearing about this for the rest of your existence?”
He cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away the tears that hadn’t truly stopped since you’d left the bathroom. “Whatever it is, the answer is yes. If it lets you tolerate me, then yes. As long as I can still be with you.” 
You sniffed, unable to hold back the burst of hurt, of fear and sorrow any longer. He held you, rocked you and gave you your space when you wanted it. He bowed his head and nodded when you screamed at him. He went to his kees and clutched your legs when you were nothing but a statue before the window. 
Your heart ached, your body and soul ached by the time the sun crested over the city and fell behind the ocean. 
Cassian watched over you while you slept on the couch, passed out mid conversation while he tended the fire. He watched you all night, taking in every inch of you while he could, because if when the sun rose, and you decided he was no longer yours, he’d need the reminder that something as exquisite as you was worth living for. 
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hollowwrites · 10 months ago
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The Room of Reconciliation
Ominis x MC
Summary - Tensions had been high between the Slytherin Trio shortly after the Undercroft Catastrophe.
Warnings - Angst into Comfort, Evelyn mom mentioned right at the beginning (Fluff if you’re sick of it but I’m continuing to add my boi into every square inch of that game (someone mentioned this to me ages ago I’m so sorry I lost who it was))
Word Count - 2928
~
She’d overreacted. She knew that.
Crying because a boy had shouted at her. Grow Up, Evelyn.
Make your mother proud.
Of course, that was the reason she was in such a foul mood that day in the first place. And why she was so easily brought to tears.
The day Ominis had shouted at her for entering the Undercroft was her mother’s birthday. A sensitive day that had started off terribly in it own right.
She’d fell up the stairs leading out of the Common Room. Missed Breakfast. Gotten into trouble because of Garreth, again. And spent most of her day without her wand after forgetting it in her bedside table. Getting used to carrying the thing around hadn’t quite become second nature yet.
So when Sebastian approached her in the late afternoon, a cheeky smile and a twinkle in his eye, she didn’t think twice to follow him. And when he mentioned, repeatedly, that it was Ominis’ place, something Ominis had shown him…it hadn’t occurred to her to refuse, and perhaps ask Ominis for his permission beforehand.
She simply followed.
And she had a blast.
Sebastian was right, there was something about that spell that was addictive. Cathartic.
It wasn’t until Ominis’ sharp authoritative tone cut through her reverie that she snapped. And the whole day just became too much.
And she hadn’t spoken to him since.
It had been a week.
Pretty impressive considering they shared a Common Room, multiple classes and a best friend.
It wasn’t like she actively ignored him. More that she felt an intense guilt every time she looked at him. Everytime his milky eyes settled over her, she just saw…betrayal.
Especially with Professor Weasley showing her the Room of Requirement the very next day. She didn’t even need the Undercroft. She hadn’t used it once. Whether that made her presence there in the first place any better she didn’t know.
But spending no time in the Undercroft, hours holed away in Room of Requirement and daily task and chores occupying any time available after that, Evelyn had become…lonely.
Sebastian had become a little…manic. Shortly after the Undercroft incident, Sebastian invited Evelyn to visit his family. Whether it was to cheer Anne up by meeting someone new, or cheer Evelyn up by taking her mind off Ominis, she wasn’t sure.
Either way it hadn’t worked.
Sebastian’s home life just made her feel…empty. The confrontation with Solomon had left her both angry and yet incredibly sad. Anne was stuck amongst this in immense pain. Sebastian felt helpless and Solomon was clearly an unfit guardian for two teenagers he neither wanted nor seemingly cared about.
She couldn’t exactly blame Sebastian for his behaviour. But she had to admit, the far off unfocused gaze and sudden downturn of his lips was jarring. Just the week before, he asked her to learn unsanctioned spells and blast braziers until they were both rosy cheeked and giggling.
Now she could barely get a chuckle out of him.
In the space of a week, she’d lost her closest friends in this new mysterious world. If she didn’t have Imelda and her constant abrasive form of affection, Evelyn very well may have lost it. As it stood she just became a husk, trudging from class to class, trail to trail, chore to chore. Barely taking in her environment as she did.
Which explains how she come crashing into Ominis after leaving the Charms Classroom.
Because he had become the same.
His wand even alerted him to the presence coming from the classroom. It notified him of their trajectory all the way until it came fumbling into him.
He just ignored it.
Because he didn’t care.
Anne was gone, he was losing Sebastian and he’d pushed Evelyn away. He, too, was a husk.
“Watch where you’re-” Ominis snapped, his wand falling to the floor with a clatter. His instant aggression and plastered on sneer faltered when he heard the tiny exhale forced from her chest and the unmistakable scent of Roses. “…Evelyn”
“…Ominis…” she breathed. A moment of stunned silence fell over them before she blinked herself back to reality. His wand rolled towards her, bumping against her shoe as she knelt to retrieve it.
Surely it was the least she could do.
She extended her hands towards him, his wand still blinking somehow as Ominis reached to take it back.
“Thank you…” he said softly, his eyes holding a deep sadness behind them and she wondered why. But, as he so aptly pointed out, they weren’t friends, so she didn’t have the right to ask what was wrong
“You’re Welcome…” She replied sheepishly with an equally pained expression.
An awkward, heart-achingly long silence stretched before them as she stared at the ground. His feet were a much safer location to stare than the piercing judgemental wells of his eyes. Neither made any move to leave, though neither said anything either. Both of them choosing to wallow in this sickening pit of longing and despair.
No sense in attempting to hide away from the negativity. It only bled into their everyday life, both becoming a shell of their former selves. Though many hadn’t seen this side of Evelyn, the cold hard faced figure. They’d only seen her chipper almost gleeful persona as she flitted around. And why wouldn’t she be happy? She’d discovered magic and all the wonders that that held. She’d made friends she didn’t even know existed a few months ago.
And yet…
With this bump in the road, everything she had pushed deep down came bubbling to the surface like one of Garreth’s failed concoctions.
Mr Osrics death, Ranrok, Rookwood, Goblin Rebellions, Annes Curse…
Now she wore them on her sleeve, a near constant frown etched into her features.
Though Ominis’ was a regular occurrence. Whether it was Sebastian winding him up or his family making themselves known, he’d earned a reputation for being stoic and unfeeling.
In actuality, Ominis felt things probably more than most. He was just better at hiding it.
They both were…
The sounds of Evelyn running and crying from him had eaten away at him over the last week. And he found himself now in an uncomfortable position of admitting fault and asking for forgiveness.
“I’m sorry” They said in unison, causing them both to laugh softly and the tension to shatter into a thousand glorious little pieces.
“Please…allow me to go first” Ominis said with a gentle smile and hands raised in surrender. He mulled the words over in his mind before he spoke. “…You shouldn’t have to apologise. At all. It was Sebastian I was angry at and you, unfortunately, just happened to be in my line of sight…” he chuckled softly, almost to himself “…so to speak”
“But…”
“No. I shan’t hear it. I said-” a deep regretful sigh left his chest “…I said some, frankly, horrible things to you. And my pride got in the way of apologising”
His posture was always bad. But there was something about the slouch of his shoulders, the hunch of his back, that looked like he was trying to shrink away from everything. Like he was readying for her to reject him entirely.
“Still though…That place was special to you and now it’s…less so. Because of me…” the mournful tone of her voice was immediately recognisable to Ominis.
Though he wasn’t certain of what she looked like, he had a rough idea from what Sebastian had told him and what was silhouetted from his wand. He could imagine her upturned brows, the sad tug of her lips. Then he remembered her little sobs as she ran from the Undercroft and he could almost see the tears breaching her lashes.
“Nonsense…” he whispered, tormented by his own mental image of her “…it’s not any less special because you know of it. In fact…”
Careful, now
“I was planning on showing you the Undercroft myself. I was simply…frustrated Sebastian got there before me” the lopsided way he smiled was endearing and she found herself smiling dreamily up at him, despite his inability to actually see it.
“Really?”
“Yes. I wanted to show you because you’re my friend, not just Sebastians” As he took back the words he cut her so deeply with before, he felt the sting of them on his tongue.
“I must say…that is a relief to hear. I was afraid I’d…never mind. I’m just sorry any of this happened” she said quickly, hoping to get the words out before he cut her off, explaining that she needn’t apologise.
“I’m sorry I spoke to you in the manner I did. It was rude and childish. And I certainly should’ve have threatened you with expulsion…” Ominis shook his head as though he was retroactively disappointed in his own actions.
“No, it’s fine. I understand where you were coming from. I’m-“
“If you apologise again I will speak to Professor Black about having you removed from the premises…” his lopsided smile morphed to a smirk, pulled wide across his cheeks. He chuckled when he heard her close her mouth, the distinct little huff she exhaled from her nose clear to him as she pouted.
She often did this. A little quirk he’d known many people do when they showed dissatisfaction but hers was…unique. The huff sounded almost like a laugh, a humourless and pouty thing that bought endless joy when he teased her.
“How about you stop apologising and we try to move on? If you would like to, of course” He offered a hand outstretched to her. He wasn’t even really sure why. Just that a part of him wanted to feel her again, and this was the most natural way he could think of.
That’s when her cool fingertips grazed across his palm and shook his hand in the daintiest of hand shakes he had ever experienced.
Difficult to imagine this was the same girl who had effortlessly defended Hogsmeade against a troll. And a myriad of other pointless and dangerous tasks appointed to her.
“I’d like that…” her gentle pleasing tone sang out from below him.
The moment she agreed, his whole demeanour shifted. He stood a little straighter, shoulders more square and yet somehow he looked more…relaxed.
“I’d like that too” he said more relieved than she thought he would be.
“I do have a way to make it up to you though” she offered as her finger slipped from his grasp, moving over to weave her fingers amongst his. She tugged on his hand but he remained stationary. His fingers did indeed weave with hers but he stood steadfast as a curious smile tugged at his lips.
“You don’t have to make anything up to me” he borderline whispered. His voice was always soft but this was new. Gentle in a way he’d never shown previously.
“Please? It would make me feel better besides…it offers you an avenue away from Sebastian”
Upon hearing those words Ominis’ brow raised with boyish curiosity.
He loved Sebastian, he really did…
But
The near constant questioning of his families knick knacks, hidden knowledge and…gods he wished he’d never mentioned that damned Scriptorium. Just the mere utterance of Salazar Slytherin had Sebastian foaming at the mouth and every single conversation thereafter had been consumed by it. No longer did they indulge in casual chatter. No more quidditch theories. No more fiction recommendations. No more Sebastian.
And with sharing a dorm, the Undercroft and most classes…Ominis had been left with little peace.
“Oh? I suppose I can hear you out…” Ominis asked with just the slightest edge of guilt. “…How were you planning on making this up to me?”
Evelyn grinned upon seeing the usual teasing smirk pull across his lips.
“It’s easier if I show you…” she said tugging on his arm playfully once again, only this time…he relented, taking a few steps forward with a roll of his eyes.
“Lead the way…”
~
Thankfully, they stumbled into each other not far from their destination. Though she did have to convince him she wasn’t leading him to his death and planned on pushing him off the Astrology Tower. He laughed softly at her faux outrage, offering her arm to guide him up the few stairs leading towards that infamous ogre tapestry.
They stood for a moment in awkward silence.
Not because it was awkward between them, but because the door to the Room of Requirement did not show itself. She worried for a moment that the sentient room knew she was trying to show someone and it refused or that perhaps their needs were different and it didn’t know how to differentiate between the two.
“It’s here…” she muttered desperately, releasing his arm and beginning to pace up and down the little empty hallway.
The sounds of a rather lively Astrology class rang down the wooden staircase ahead of them and Ominis shook his head with a small laugh.
He had a near exact copy of Hogwarts’ complicated and winding hallways in his mind. There was nothing here. Just an old dusty tapestry and the Astrology Tower.
The smell of musk and the distant sounds of that rambunctious class of third years was evidence of that. Until…
A slight rubble and crackle of stone turned his attention toward the blank wall ahead of them. He placed his hand against the stone, cautiously. The grinding of stone against stone didn’t sound the safest and yet it moved harmlessly under his palm, twisting and transfiguring to a warm wood and cool metal.
Of course
“You found the Room of Requirement?” Ominis grinned, turning his head towards the buzzing and ecstatic Evelyn behind him.
“Found is a strong word…” she said, the joy in her voice unmistakeable “…Professor Weasley instructed me to look here and it presented itself to me”
She took his hand, the one not pressed curiously to the wall and gently guided him inside the Room.
Ominis felt a strange shift in the atmosphere as he stepped past the threshold. Neither out in the open, nor indoors. The air felt…artificial. Stagnant. Generated in some way. Not entirely unpleasant.
A welcoming warmth wrapped around him as Evelyn brought him into a larger room. Not huge. Roughly the same size as the dorms but all for her. For them.
She bought him around the Room, narrating along as she did.
“There’s a fireplace and settees. Bookcases. This here leads to where I’ve been practising spells and potions and…well…everything. But this…”
She gently turned him and guided him to another room. Smaller and cooler.
“…I left this for you.”
Ominis stepped away from her and into ‘His’ room. His wand alerted him to the snug way the walls tapered in around them, the narrow walkway around a huge plush bed that took up almost the entire room.
He had been struggling to sleep…
“I found it shortly after Sebastian showed me the Undercroft. I felt so guilty, I’ve been coming here instead. Only I know about it…in this form at least”
“It’s perfect…” Ominis finally spoke, running his hand along the bed runner with a gentle smile and a voice filled with gratitude and relief.
He fought everything inside him telling him to pull her into a warm embrace. They didn’t have that kind of relationship, as much as he wanted to. As much as he craved her touch. He settled for something little, reaching out to her arm, squeezing affectionately before letting his fingers drop to hers. And she reciprocated, her own lazily linking with his.
“We can share this space…” she whispered “…we could arrange it so we have our own time to ourselves. Maybe putting a tie on the door handle if we don’t want to be disturbed…” she laughed softly, earning a playful rise of Ominis’ brows.
“…I’d like that. Thank you”
“It’s okay…” she shrugged, Ominis’ fingers tightening somewhat as her arm accidentally pulled her from his grasp “…I took away your safe haven, it’s only fair I replace it”
Ominis sighed sharply, turning and holding Evelyn by her cheeks.
“You did not take away anything…” he said with a strange authority, like how a father might scold a child when they aren’t listening “…I acted like a brute. You did nothing wrong”
He felt her lean into his hand slightly and her cheek puff out as she smiled sheepishly.
And…
Was that a mole he could feel beneath his palm?
He could…see her!
He dropped his hands from her face, blinking rapidly to rid images of her from his head.
If he dwelled on them for too long he would want to see her completely. And he told himself not to get that close to too many people.
Gods, he hated himself for making that rule!
Oh, actually, I don’t need to know what anyone looks like. If I’ve known them for two years then they are worthy of my time but before that…no.
Stupid angsty little child…
“I’ll leave you to it then…” Evelyn chirped before she turned to leave his domain.
She didn’t get far before his cold hand wrapped around her wrist.
“Before you go…I wanted to say…” he paused momentarily, his lips parted as the words got stuck in his throat. His hesitation turned to nerves as he felt her turn to him completely. Her full attention, on him “…Evelyn, with everything going on; Sebastian, our disagreement, you disappearing to Merlin’s knows where…I just wanted to say I missed you”
A beat of silence hung in the air as Evelyn smiled and stopped herself from jumping into his arms.
“I missed you too…”
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