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linkemon · 5 months ago

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Never ending song (Yato x Reader)

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ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ? ɪꜱ ɪᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴘᴏꜱꜱɪʙʟᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀʏꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇꜱᴛɪɴʏ ɪꜱ ᴡʀɪᴛᴛᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇ? ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇʀᴀꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴀᴛʀᴏᴄɪᴛɪᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴠᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴍɪᴛᴛᴇᴅ? ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ǫᴜᴇꜱᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴀᴜɴᴛ ʏᴀʙᴏᴋᴜ ᴀɴᴅ [ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]. ᴛʜᴇʏ ʙᴏᴛʜ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀꜱ.

The blackness of night enveloped the field strewn with corpses. [Reader] felt as if she were looking at a burial shroud. Beneath it were the mangled faces of fathers, mothers, daughters, sons, brothers and sisters. They all looked at each other with empty gazes. Their eyes were like glass beads she could put on a string. Intertwined with bloody, undrying rivulets of blood. The earth couldn’t get any redder. Perhaps that was why Yaboku’s blue eyes seemed to be calling her from afar. They stood out against the carnage. Like the sky before a storm. Like lightning streaking across the horizon seconds before a thunderbolt struck. But he wasn’t loud. His katana didn’t make even the slightest sound as it sank into another body.

A soft groan escaped from beneath the long-dead horse. The man, crushed by the weight of his steed, was bleeding out slowly. Leaning over him, she found only boundless terror in his gaze. His kimono looked torn and frayed even before the fight. The severed hand still held the rake clenched in it. It must have belonged to one of the lords who had started this war. It didn't matter which side of the conflict he was on, he would have ended the same way.

— Are you — a wheezing sound tried to escape his lips — a shinigami? — he asked, trembling.

— No, but death is the best I can offer you — replied the goddess.

The man nodded slightly.

[Reader] didn't have to call upon her shinki. They almost never reverted to their human forms. Not when they knew they'd be working from night until dawn. Which had not been a rare occurrence over the past few decades.

Black wings flapped right next to her ear. The world momentarily transformed into a cloud of feathers. The ravens got to work. They cut the skin and with a practiced movement of their beaks reached the artery. With a loud squawk they announced the end of their work. Immediately afterwards they began to eat the carrion.

The goddess swept her gaze over the battlefield. All those lying there were already in Yomi. The bloody pallet on which they had laid their heads for the last time. She wanted to call off the shinki. Why did she have to deal with this? Why did she have to watch the lords fighting for the land day after day? Listen to the prayers of people begging for the ravens to eat the corpses of their enemies? Watch as supposedly honorable samurai and daughters who disgraced their families became carrion?

— That one was mine. — Yaboku's eyes flashed dangerously.

He stared at the meat covered in flies.

— He begged for mercy — the woman replied hesitantly.

[Reader] knew exactly what the God of Calamity meant. It wasn't a specific prayer but she shouldn't answer it. Mercy wasn't in her control.

— You're bound to misfortune as I am. You have to accept that. — The words cut like a sharpened katana but they were true.

Yaboku sighed and sat down on the edge of the massacre. [Reader] followed suit. She rested her head on his shoulder. It felt exceptionally heavy to her. As if the pressure of thoughts had actually become a physical burden that was hard to bear alone.

— You’re still thinking about it. — He brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead.

Fingers stained with blood stroked her cheek. Involuntarily, she leaned into the familiar hand.

— I don't know anymore... Sometimes I think about what it would be like if we were someone else. Gods of Fortune or... just something else. Something happier.

These worries had been rumbling in her head for some time now. Seeing people's suffering echoed in her mind. Even if she watched their happy moments, she could never take part in them. She had no way of contributing to them. She envied those who showered people with favor. Their festivals were loud and joyful. Like fireworks lighting up the night. She welcomed people into the tattered shrine. Always with bad intentions. No good person wished for others to be eaten by ravens.

— Look at me.

Yaboku gently grabbed her chin but there was a hint of command in his voice. In his gaze there was a steely certainty that what he was saying was true.

— We are gods. Our destiny is written in advance. There is no point in fighting it. Just submit to it and do your job.

[Reader] nodded. This was a god who didn't hesitate. She shouldn't have either.

Cherry blossoms danced in the cool air, stirred by the gentle breeze. [Reader] looked at them as if she was seeing them for the first time. Perhaps because it had been a long time since she had had time to really look at them. They seemed so right and so out of place at the same time. With their delicate, pink and white petals. With their proudly twisted, dark branches. They were a stark contrast to anything she had seen in the past few years.

What were a few years in a godly life? They should have seemed like nothing. The fleeting flutter of butterfly wings. And yet they seemed to weigh her down. Like fat, human-fed ravens perching on her shoulders. Her shinki wandered around in their human forms. They seemed amazed by their own bodies. She could feel their unease. Their true forms seemed strange to them. They circled the trees and absorbed everything around them, as if seeing the world anew.

Those eyes. Like cornflowers amidst a swirl of cherry blossoms. She had always spotted them from afar. Yaboku in the midst of this garden looked like a harbinger of war. One that had recently been ended by some treaty. [Reader] knew well, however, that human truces did not last forever. There would always be someone to break them. Sooner or later, they always lost to their own greed. They would draw their weapons, commit a bloody massacre and then make up. And as always, she would come to clean up their mess.

— You look sluggish — Yaboku tilted his head.

— I'm tired — she admitted.

He took her hand. His own was incredibly cold. As if the warm rays of the sun couldn't reach it.

— Your name won't disappear overnight. You can rest. — Yaboku pulled her along. — You shouldn't torment yourself.

— Maybe you’re right. — She nodded, slowly moving forward.

She couldn’t forget. She didn’t want to forget, really. Many people had called her during the war. The piles of corpses grew so fast that she couldn’t keep up with the acquisition of new shinki. They couldn’t eat all of the people. And yet the scream of that one mother had burned into her memory like a hot iron. What the soldiers had done to her daughter was impossible to put into words. For the battered girl, shivering with cold and terror, the death inflicted by Yaboku had been a mercy. When the woman realized what had happened, she fell before the shrine of [Reader]. May the crows eat these monsters in human skin, she repeated over and over like a mantra. The goddess answered but the soldiers had their own lives. Their own families, eager for revenge. They said that the red thread symbolized love. She deeply believed that wasn’t true. It was a string of hatred the colour of blood. Connecting generations, crossing divides and tightening around the necks of people as crows pecked out their insides. A never-ending story.

Hiro looked at [Reader] searchingly. Then she turned her gaze to Yaboku. She locked eyes with him and walked away in a direction known only to her. The goddess knew that the shinki didn't like her. They had never gotten along very well. Nora did everything to please her father. She didn't have the time or luxury of thinking. Sometimes she envied her ability. To do tasks. Just like that. Without breaking them down into factors.

— I can almost see the gears turning in your head. — Yaboku tapped her squarely on the forehead. — That's our role and job. We were created to bring misfortune to people. Sometimes I also think I'd like to bring them joy for a reason other than murder...

— Really? — she asked in disbelief.

It was the first time the god had ever made it known that something like this was on his mind. A few hundred years ago, she had despaired about it constantly but now she simply accepted the status quo. As something that could not be changed. But occasionally, in times of greatest tragedy, melancholy would overwhelm her. What if she were someone else?

— Really. But it's better just not to dwell on it.

The kiss was sweet. Just like the scent around them. Like thick honey, it enveloped the senses. It allowed them to forget. At least for a moment. Familiar lips, the corner of which still held the rest of the dried blood. Black hair that she could so easily tangle her fingers in. Blue eyes that were so easy to drown in. All she had to do was take a step.

Yaboku rolled over. He looked around the small hut. The soft light made out its outline. Not that there was anything inside, apart from a futon. He didn't have many material possessions. A faint cawing reached him from outside. Probably [Reader]'s shinki were returning, tired from their tasks.

He looked at his hands. In the dim light, they seemed almost bloody. As if the gore he had washed off yesterday had not left them at all. He was used to this. To the particles under his fingernails. To the constant vigilance. To the thoughtless beheadings. Meanwhile, the shadow on the wall now resembled human silhouettes. The shuffling from under the floor seemed to whisper. His own body seemed not to belong to him.

He rubbed his eyelids as hard as he could. Just to chase away the strange feeling of nightmares lurking beneath them.

[Reader] was still asleep. She was breathing evenly. The light of the rising sun gently illuminated her face. She instinctively snuggled into his chest, which he accepted with a measure of relief. It seemed she was sleeping peacefully. Unlike him.

Yaboku felt fear for the first time in his life. He was torn. He had never felt like what he was doing was wrong before. He had lived hundreds of years of his monotonous life, reconciled with his fate. But now the thought was brewing in his head that it didn't have to be that way. It had been growing in him for the past few years. Only to start questioning everything. The validity of his father's teachings, Hiro's advice and his own decisions. Like the sun rising over the horizon. On the verge, still hiding its head but showing its first rays, not letting itself be ignored.

He wanted more. He wanted something better. Why didn't he deserve to bring joy to people? Why did he always have to see them only at their worst? He didn't know if it was yet another great war that had brought him to these questions. What he was certain of, however, was his aversion to the state of limbo. He had to do something about it. Make a decision. Could he change? Was it even possible?

He was almost certain he was already grasping for the answers to his own questions but a few days ago he had murdered the entire Ma clan. If even shinki, who were supposed to be pure souls, couldn't avoid being corrupted, what chance did humans have? Were they naturally doomed to be evil beings? If one of the Seven Gods of Fortune needed his help, even though she dealt with luck, did it even make sense? Maybe the only thing waiting for him at the end of such a path would be disappointment.

— You're up to something. — [Reader]'s sleepy voice reached him as if with a delay.

— Where does this belief come from? — he asked.

— I know that look, Yaboku. You look like you're fighting but there's no one here, so you're probably fighting yourself — the goddess commented.

That was it. But should this battle see the light of day? Should he tell her? He hesitated for a moment longer.

— I have to disappear for a while. — The weight of those words only hit him after he had said them.

— What exactly do you mean by that? — [Reader] sat up on the futon. — Does this have anything to do with Bishamonten? You know very well it's not your fault. You did what Kazuma asked you to do. It was your duty.

— I have a few things to think over... Father can't know where I'll be — he finished lamely.

—Yaboku, this is our role. It's not like you to ponder this and...

God sent her a pleading look that made her fall silent.

— Please don't tell him when I disappear. At least not for a while.

He knew that if his father came looking for him, she would be one of the first people he would turn to. She was one of the few who had a chance of finding him quickly.

— Do you promise we’ll meet again? — [Reader] asked uncertainly.

Never, in hundreds of years, had this happened. They had never been apart for very long. They had never been apart with the idea that this was what they were doing. They had always somehow found their way back together. They had no need to plan to meet. It was inevitable that they would be so close and so often that it never occurred to them.

The goddess frantically began searching for something in her kimono.

— Here. — She pressed a small coin into his hand.

Five yen glinted faintly in the dawn light. It was a poor rate but a wish was a wish. So, trying to control his breaking voice, he said:

— Your prayer has been answered.

— So this is where you were hiding, Yaboku. — Even after decades, he would still recognize that voice.

Kofuku wanted to say something but Daikoku mumbled something in an extremely serious tone and they obediently left him with [Reader]. The smell of freshly cooked broth wafted from the cottage. They would probably eat ramen. Pleasantly mild noodles accompanied by side dishes. The clinking of bowls began to merge with laughter. The light on the upper floor went out. Hiyori had probably finished teaching Yukine. The interior beckoned with warmth. Like a pleasant, heated stove in the evening darkness. The autumn chill was making itself felt. The remains of gray-brown leaves trembled on the trees like a god. He covered himself tightly with a scarf, hoping to retain the warmth for a while longer.

— Yato. My name is Yato — he corrected her. — I'm no longer...

— Yeah, I know. I only came here to warn you. Hiro's looking for you.

This wasn't good news. If the Nora was looking for him, then his father was probably looking for him too. He didn't know what was happening to him but he hoped to stay out of its reach. He had a new life now, a new family. The one he had chosen for himself. There was no place for father in it.

— Thank you — he replied laconically. — You don’t have to worry, I’ll fine.

— I see. You were supposed to go away for a while but instead you built yourself a whole new life. — [Reader] nodded toward the cottage.

The words were bitter and reproachful. They left a disgusting aftertaste, even though he hadn't spoken them. He didn't feel good about what he had done. He had left her alone. Even though she had agreed to it, several decades without a response wasn't right. But he couldn't reach her without risking being discovered by his father. Or maybe he didn't want to? He was held back by the uncertainty of how she would react to his decision. Then everything went in a different, better for him, direction. He didn't feel like turning back at all.

— I am the God of Fortune now. — He pointed at himself.

His roughened hands and sweaty sweatpants were evidence that he had done something with himself. He had worked for what he had. Even if it wasn't much. He didn't have his own shrine yet but he had something equally important. A roof over his head and people who cared about him.

— Don't be ridiculous! — [Reader] said angrily. — You have been and always will be bound to misfortune. You told me so yourself. Why can't you just accept that our fate is predetermined?

The treetops bent under the weight of a strong wind. In the past, a raven would have squawked right after that. But god knew that [Reader] never went anywhere without her shinki. He didn't think much had changed in that regard. It could mean that she no longer had any at all. That never boded well. He knew when that usually happened. The number of her followers had probably decreased. Now, in times of relative peace, few people wanted such a specific desecration of a corpse as being eaten by ravens. That could only mean one thing. What he himself feared most and what he had tried so desperately to escape from. Disappearance. Being erased forever. Oblivion. Death.

— I was wrong. We are gods. We determine what is right. Therefore, I can choose my own path.

He clutched the old, worn-out five yen in his pocket. He kept telling himself that he couldn't pay with it because the current coins looked different. But deep down, he knew that wasn't the only reason. He carried it with him all the time. As a reminder of the life he had left behind.

He pulled his hand out of his pocket. He pressed five yen into [Reader]'s palm, then closed it. He wasn't entirely sure why he was doing this. Maybe he wanted to convey to her the part of himself that had pushed him to change. After all, a long, long time ago, she had it in her too. Before human anger, years of greed, jealousy and a sea of spilled blood had killed it.

— Yatooo! — Hiyori's voice reached his ears. — It's freezing cold. Come inside. Everyone's waiting for you. — She ran outside the cottage to invite him to dinner.

When he turned around, [Reader] was gone.

#yato x reader #noragami x reader #yaboku #oneshot x reader #hiyori iki #bishamonten #kazuma #daikoku #kofuku

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charbeess · 5 months ago

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hellooooooo I am here to return the favor with ✨my own questions about your Nya playlist✨

I've already saved it to my own Spotify - it looks like an absolute banger!!! I haven't had a chance for a full listen through, but I have given it a preview and I'm liking what I'm seeing so far. our of pure curiosity, I think the songs I want to know the most about are:

"Decode" by Paramore (I also love a good mid 2000s emo stereotype staple for Nya and I would love to know your rationale here)

"Girl With One Eye" by Florence + The Machine (I've heard this one suggested for a general Skybound reason before but I'd like to know what makes it a Nya song for you)

"Hold Me Like A Grudge" by Fall Out Boy (yes I know I've given this one to Nya on the OSSAS playlist but I'd love your spin on it lmao)

that's all I have for now!!!! I'll have to get around to a full listen sometime but for now: ask fodder!!!!

and so the enabled becomes the enabler!! this is actually very exciting, because you’ve chosen the songs that i have ON REPEAT !! so much to say, this may get long… i won’t keep you left in anticipation, let’s talk about it!

Decode, Paramore: so, already i want to agree with you and say this is the kinda song they’d toss in on those “songs this character would have on their playlist” tropes. i think paramore just fits her general vibe, could totally see her rocking out with hayley williams ( and honestly me too, girl. ) but !! as for the more DEEPER meanings, this song is fun because i’ve always seen it as a double - meaning. skybound, but also dragon’s rising.

for skybound; there’s specific lyrics that I HAVE to mention. think of it when it’s just the two of them, in the lighthouse; nya’s having that talk about her future and wanting her own choice:

“How can I decide what's right?

When you're clouding up my mind

I can't win your losing fight

All the time.”

it’s like she’s fighting her own thoughts, here. like how can she decide what she wants when everyone else is throwing things and plans in her mind and they aren’t her own to make and never were to begin with and she feels almost? defeated? not by actions, but by decision and will of thought. it’s supposed to be her life, so why isn’t she the one making decisions here? why is she losing against what she, herself, wants to decide? why is she being ripped of basic human right to plan her own future?

there’s also the bonus lyric in there of “Nor can I ever own what’s mine,” which is a lovely little tagline for the samurai x suit, and how she was forced to leave that behind for the role of the water ninja.

another little verse lyrics i’d like to add for the extra skybound credits:

“But you think that I can't see

What kind of man that you are

If you're a man at all.”

little bash to nadakhan, if i may. (i’d give any reason to throw songs in there that are a bash to him. staring at one song in specific in her playlist.)

as for this song fitting dragon’s rising, i think this song leans towards how jaya may end up. we, as the audience, know jay’s lost his memory; and from what i’ve watched so far ( without any spoilers because i have NOT watched that yet ) i already sense there’s gonna be a confrontation eventually. they’re building up to it! so, it’s moreso just the chorus verses &. the bridges. “How did we get here? When I used to know you so well?” that kinda fits the dragon’s rising POV of nya. i can’t explain too much because i don’t know what’s gonna happen to them, but i already get a general idea that it’s gonna be upsetting with nya’s vision in s2p1, and jay’s amnesia in general.

decode is super fun for its double meanings and honestly you could probably tear it out for another meaning, but i think this mostly sums up everything for this one!! onto the next choice!

Girl With One Eye, Florence and the Machines: I have also seen it fit under a skybound general reason and that’s!! part of why it’s added, but it’s not Everything. to me, we’re diving straight into nya’s anger and giving into her feminine rage.

we’re talking early water ninja days feminine rage. i’ve always seen this song in her pov, but it’s her mocking her criticisers?? her haters?? her doubters?? it’s like, maybe to us listeners it’s potentially a liiiittle overexerted but to nya, it’s like putting yourself in her shoes and realising that honestly, she’s grown tired of the way she’s treated. and she’s grown to just stop caring and turn that hatred into general rage and using that to help her push forward. so, essentially it is just her Mocking the way people have treated her. she’s not accepting it, she’s just accepting that this Has happened, but she’s not letting it upset her any further. in fact, they help her channel her rage into her work!

i have no specific lyrics for this one. it is merely just the vibe for it, that fits her. the music being so heavy - on and just constantly gets heavier as the rage builds up and it’s like she’s bottling it all just to release it as pure Rage and honestly, nya deserves to be a little pissed at everything she’s had to deal with. however you could push it and toss the one lyric of “My reputation’s kinda clouded with dirt,” as a way of her seeing how people probably see her to be. remember, this is nya’s POV to how others see her. she doesn’t think that, but with all the labels that’s tossed onto her; they don’t see her as a ninja, this early into it. she’s gotta build a name for herself. could also toss the “I’ll cut your little heart out, because you made me cry,” for the general sense that she’s tired of the lack of empathy she gets whereas the others get the citizen’s full support, they cheer and hype the boys up and then she gets the latter of… well, nothing but questions unrelated to what she wants to be asked. they’d rather Be her then know about her.

in a sense you could say the skybound undertones are the rage, and potentially having that spark when she deals with nadakhan and then being lied to by jay, but overall, it’s just rage. it’s pent up rage in a song. i needed a song that could channel that enough that it literally MEANS “enough is enough.” nya’s had so much rage pent up during skybound, she’s lashing out that entire season (within good reason) and i wanted to give her a song that best demonstrates that rage and if anyone can do it? it’s florence and the machines.

i’m sure there’s other songs i can toss in here that establish that female rage but for right now, this one covers the majority.

Hold Me Like A Grudge, Fall Out Boy: i can’t lie, OSSAS was definitely the reasoning for this song. i heard it from OSSAS first before ever tossing it in here. but after listening to it repeatedly, i did pick out a couple moments from the song that generally fits the themes of skybound that i will definitely ramble about here.

there’s this one specific lyric that always catches my attention when the song plays: “I thought I knew better, I thought it would get better. I figured somehow by now, I would have got it together.” and ohhhh boy do i have much to say about this. because the way this could also be the aftermath of skybound, as well as current events?

it’s definitely an afterthought to me, nya’s procession of it all. i know it’s been so long now, but something like That will never fully leave the mind, no matter how desperate. you can repress it, you can work on it, you can learn to grow from it; but that stuff sticks. even if nya lost her memory temporarily in seabound. i refuse to believe she just Got Over It because, how do you? this was one of her starting points of being a ninja, this is how she was introduced into the role after being forced into it last season; and that’s how she has to remember it? she can’t say her first missions went great because her greatest achievement (destroying the preeminent) led to it’s sister realm being destroyed and bringing nadakhan to ninjago anyways. those lyrics in specific just feel like general trauma response because. you’d think in that time, the saying “time heals all wounds” would start to cave in by now. but it doesn’t. there’s always something that makes her wobble, makes her stumble. which i guess you could say follows my one previous post about nya and jay keeping their wounds even after the timeline’s been reversed.

i also just generally enjoy the “Part-time soulmate, full-time problem” lyric. like, that’s FUN to me. that’s funny, that’s totally something nya would totally feel during that whole fiesto, and how the general title of the song most likely fits her whole capture.

but yeah, to me this is an OSSAS song simply because. i’ve read it so many times i basically have it as my own little concept of what happened behind camera and if you haven’t read OSSAS yet, for the people reading this, i 100% recommend it.

i think this about sums everything up! got all my thoughts tossed onto page and i’m satisfied with my rambles. i hope you have fun listening when you do!! ive had this playlist for just under a year - ish and i’m always adding, editing and messing about with it so you’ll most likely see some new songs pop up, or old songs disappear for whatever reason.

thank you for stopping by and letting me ramble about music and character analysation ! this was actually super fun :3

#oh boy we are going loooong #see what happens when the enabler becomes enabled #i’ve been given too much power about music and charactersation #i do not have a tag for asks yet um #ninjago skybound #ninjago nya #chard is answering #lila tag

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tsckcyomi-archived · 1 year ago

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tag nine people you'd like to know better

I. favourite colours: azure. very calming, love it.

II. favourite flavours: sweet. i'm an absolute sucker for desserts and sweets and whatnot. but then there's also the more hearty stuff with a sour note that i really like.

III. favourite genres: mostly anything fantasy related, but also medieval stuff.

IV. favourite music: i feel like i branch out a lot but i will always stick with medieval rock, metal, punk rock, alternative rock, yada yada yada. i do love electro swing and video game/movie osts as well, though.

V. favourite movies: as far as disney/pixar movies go: lilo and stitch, mulan, rise of the guardians and coco. my favourite anime movie is a silent voice. my favourite live action one would probably be mad max: fury road. there's just something about the action scenes that i absolutely love lol. and the spider-man movies.

VI. favourite series: arcane, avatar: the last airbender, link click, to your eternity, wolf's rain, brooklyn 99.

VII. last song: VORTEX by 白鲨JAWS

VIII. last series: blue eye samurai / spy x family

IX. last movie: i watched the relative worlds with my sister but we didn't even finish it since it just... didn't do it for us :')

X. currently reading: nothing. the last novel i tried reading introduced so many characters at once that i dropped it because i couldn't keep up. the last novel that i did finish was if tomorrow doesn't come which i liked a lot.

XI. currently watching: nothing really. i watch a lot of youtube, though, and listen to distractible or true crime podcasts.

XII. currently working on: my bachelor thesis. tidying up and sorting out my apartment (spectacularly failing).

tagged by: @holyguardian <3 tagging: @eikonbound @bymargrace @drakonairs @phoenix-flamed @flamesofrebirths @yinjiyang @valkyrrhic @ruiination @creatrix-mea

#( ooc )

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jamisafan · 1 year ago

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I like to write something up when I finish rewatching a season of Ninjago.

And I liked quite a bit of what Crystalized offered.

This is gonna be a long one.

There were many funny bits (and I'll say that Christofern was fantastic and I just really liked Garmadon overall).

And Lloyd was just..... okay I'll just say it. He needs a break. Man's was getting triggered the whole season from his shitty ex girlfriend to his neglectful father. Though I feel that at the end Lloyd and Garmadon did reach a sort of understanding. Or, at least Lloyd is understanding his father a bit more.

I actually kinda like Harumi. She was sassy and I like that. But her little fight with Lloyd in the woods just felt so.... weird. It was almost uncomfortable and the more they talked a fought the less progress they made. Harumi only really changed when she found someone else to blame aka the overlord.

And Lloyd's whole arch was kinda just him being afraid of becoming his father and never useing his oni form. If he learned to actually embrace it then it could have been good. He let his fear get in the way of the mission at hand, and even when the end of the world was going to happen any second he still let his fear control him. (Also, the fear of him becoming his father was foreshadowed and said in the fire chapter, same with Nya being "normal". Just thought that's kinda fun.)

I really liked the idea of bringing past villains back to really bring it full circle, that was super interesting. And I love Phythor and all but did he really fit in the council? I don't know. I wish him and Lloyd got some more screentime since this basically all started with them and serpentine tombs.

Also the fact that the solution to dragon form is just the theme song. Duuuuuude. That's freaking hilarious!

Kai asking out Sklor hurt me in more ways then one. I was so uncomfortable.

Pixel and Zane had me absolutely cheering and freaking out though. I think I tend to not think about how they are probably my favorite Canon ship. They are just so compatible, ya know?

Nya becoming Samurai X again for a short while was pretty cool.

Jay also being the train kid is fantastic.

I didn't really like the end of Crystalized when I first watched it, but I liked it better the second time around.

Though I tend to just like every season no matter the flaws.

ALSO Adrew Francis did pretty good as Cole. I'll always miss Kirbys but Adrew has done good.

#ninjago #ninjago crystalized #Lloyd was jealous of a plant #thats sad but funny #i actually dont mind it #it was decent

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ashtxeman · 1 year ago

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OH MAN, I LOVE THIS SHIT. LET'S GO ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Thanks for tagging, Suki! You have made my morning and also resurrected my Tumblr

1) Top three ships

I thought I'd know three immediately but I actually had to dig through my brain for these..

Glass Joe x Von Kaiser - HYUHUHU YEAH, starting with the best. If Glass Soldier (or Gingerbread for the more refined) isn't just the greatest ship in the world ever I don't know what is. I LOVE. OLD MAN GAY BOXER YAOI. RAAGGHH.

Baby Bronco x Emmet Ellis - SHOCKER. More homosexuals, you can never go wrong with them. I'm a massive fan of 60 Parsecs and if you coop up two men, a himbo and a nerd, in a spaceship with only each other for comfort, I will be straight on it (ironic). GAY AND HAPPY IN SPACE. ALSO PLAY 60 PARSECS!!!

Third ones gotta be cringe because I am cringe and I am free, God bless..

Matt x Shaggy - This one definitely comes from the violent FNF fixation I had around 2020-2021, but hell if I didn't love a good crossover ship I'd be lying. If JOHNNY BRAVO AND SAMURAI JACK can function happily, SO CAN THE MII AND THE SCOOBY DOO CHARACTER.

2) First ever ship

Most definitely Fluttershy x Discord from MLP. I was a massive fan of Daughter of Discord to the point where I could quote it word for word AND I watched the show only to see those two together. They are PERFECT.

3) Last Song

I rewatched Mystery Skulls Animated lately to see my babygirl Arthur so you know it had to be Freaking Out (by Mystery Skulls). Banger, all Mystery Skulls songs are, check them out!

4) Last Movie

Very convenient I went and watched the FNAF movie for a SECOND time last night. IT'S A BANGER. I love it. Matthew Lillard best man ever.

5) Currently Reading

I don't read, I'm a Gen Z'er with a millisecond attention span. But I suppose the last thing I did read was A Christmas Carol. Only thing keeping me attached to it is inferring the secret gay love story between Marley and Scrooge.

6) Currently Watching

Invincible AND The Boys/Gen V, alongside each other. Two incredible, gorey superhero series that I love to death. Just for fun, favourite Invincible character is currently Angstrom, favourite The Boys character is Frenchie, and favourite Gen V character is Emma. :]

7) Currently Consuming

Earl Grey Tea and a panini with Easter European ham yummers!!

8) Currently Craving

Greggs steak bake, extra yummers!!

Funny that most of the people I wanna know better have already done this! But, @glassjoemybeloved I'm trying to revive you COME BACK.

I legit just woke up and imma do something that requires I use my brain yay: 9 people you wanna get to know better

Thanks for the tag @matchamabs lmao

1) Top three ships

Ya know ironically, despite the name, I don't do a lot of Canon x Canon ships. But I do have 3 for Punch Out specifically.

Carmen x Don: This one is pretty standard, like it's THE ship man, cmon. Bless pur dorky Spanish couple they deserve it

Hondo x Hugger: these two work both romantically and platonically and they're the absolute best. Like I love them so-

Bull x Soda: I think this was the ship that I was really really sold on. Like Gingerbread and Aradon? Cute but I was never sold on em, but these two fuckers? Hell to the yeah!

2) First ever ship

If it ain't obvious it was Sukiper. This was a combo ship between two characters from trolls cause yeah I was into it when I was younger, like 11 years old. DJ Suki and Cooper were my OTP, I loved em.

3) Last Song

Willow's Theme from Angry Birds Stella POP! Such a nice theme honestly, very tranquil. Also yeah I listen to Video Game OST's

4) Last Movie

Matilda, the 1996 one. It is my absolute fave adaption of a movie, and it just makes me feel so happy when I watch it. Used to watch it heaps as a Kid

5) Currently Reading

Eh, i don't read a lot. I guess it'd be the last thing I read which was Hound of the Baskervilles

6) Currently Watching

Chicago Series (Med, Fire, PD)

7) Currently Consuming

Nothing, had breakfast though, it was Milo and Buttered Toast 8) Currently Craving

Pork with Honey Soy Garlic sauce and Rice. Banger combo man

@yourlocaltrashpandaxoxo @ashtxeman @lazypastry @upperhug @lukasdoodle @anotherwvba @wvbaandtheboys @tikiss @sweetzdreamyzblog

Sorry if you;ve been tagged in this already lol

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irenerei · 4 years ago

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TMI

I am not trying to make you understand why this song slaps but anyways here is a song I have been looping for about 20 years

#Spotify #this song relased on 1996 #i listened to it first time around 1999 or maybe 2000 #i did not watch samurai x but i know this song #can u imagine i was 7 and i got chills with this song when that time i was not fluent in Japanese yet?

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misaverawrites · 3 years ago

Note

hey hey!! first wanted to say your writing is amazing and you are so skilled! i come with a cyberpunk/silverhand idea -- after the game ends (specifically The Sun ending) obvi Johnny and V part ways, and V inherits the Afterlife. my idea is that she keeps herself very low profile but also remains friends with Kerry and goes to dives to perform with him when at one gig REAL Johnny shows up after looking everywhere and it's a whole reunion with mutual pining and maybe a little reunion spice?🥵💦

When We Meet Again (Johnny Silverhand x Reader)

summary: You and Johnny find each other again, even after you were separated.

tags: SMUT, reunion, mentions of death, bar bathroom sex, there is actually a plot to this lol, kissing, hugging, bent over a bathroom sink, sexual jokes, Johnny has a body, Reader is called V, use of the word cunt, oral (f. receiving), choking kind of, Johnny makes you watch him fuck you

a/n: bro you just requested this and it sent my ideas going wild bro also thank you so much 😭😭😭 this is literally 2.4k words of my love for Johnny so I hope you all enjoy it!!!

Becoming a Legend sure is a kick in the ass.

It was all you had ever wished for and now you sit in a seedy bar that, thankfully, isn’t The Afterlife. Kerry by your side, the both of you praying that no one would notice you in this shithole. Any semblance of alone time is a blessing for the both of you.

How did Rogue do this? You didn’t even think you’d survive the gig from Mr. Blue Eyes, but, fortune favored the bold apparently. After losing Johnny, somehow surviving surgery, and now being the main proprietor of The Afterlife, you had it all. The only thing strumming through your mind is how much you missed Johnny, spending five months with him changed your life in so many ways and all you could do now is think about him. He drove you crazy and you missed him like hell. Sometimes, you’d get together with Kerry in these shitty little bars and play some SAMURAI songs with Denny and Nancy, for old time’s sake. You sometimes wish he’d just pop in, just once. Of course, that’d also make you think you were going crazy again.

You hear the door open and look up to see Nancy, who alerts the bartender, “So, you guys excited to play again?” Kerry rolls his eyes and pushes his hair back, aloof as always. Must come with superstar territory, you joke to yourself and look to Nancy, giving her a warm smile and nod, “Yeah! Denny gonna be here soon?” Nancy nods as she goes to set up on the stage, “Should be here in a few, she sent me a call on the holo!” She calls over to you as you finish your drink and hop off of the barstool to go help Nancy set up for the show.

“You know,” She says quietly to you, “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I haven’t seen Kerry so happy in a long time. He really enjoys doing these.” You scoff a little, “He doesn’t seem…” She shakes her head a bit and gives you a smile as she tunes your guitar, “It’s the fame. I do it too, Night City is cruel, likes to take away things you care about, you’ll figure that out now that you’re in charge of The Afterlife.” If only she knew… You thought to yourself: If only she knew how Night City had already taken away too many people from me: Johnny, Jackie, Rogue… You sigh to yourself as she places a supportive hand on your shoulder, just for a second before taking it away, Denny walks in, sending you a polite smile and a wave which you quickly return to her. Kerry downs his drink quickly before making his way over to you all on the stage, applying his eyeliner as he walks.

“How the hell do you do that?” You ask quizzically and he laughs a bit, “Years of practice, kiddo. You’ll get it one of these days.” He makes his way onto the stage as you all finish setting up, a small crowd has formed, it’s usually pretty low-key at these events but word gets out sometimes. “Hey, guys! Good to see you here tonight!” You call out as the lights dim, and the crowd cheers with support. People had gotten used to you performing as Johnny, and you’d quickly found your way around SAMURAI’s guitar notes and vocals, the DeLuze Orphean still feels preem in your hands, the way the strings burn slightly into your fingers as you begin to play and the crowd’s excitement grows quickly. You had developed a small group of fans as the new “vocalist” of SAMURAI, which was officially, still not a band but more a relic of the first quarter of the 21st-century.

C-Can you feel it?

Can you touch it?

Get ready ‘cause here we go!

The lyrics burn at your throat like a fire that cannot be easily quenched, you watch the crowd, their cheering combining with the noise of the music into a cacophony of passion.

Not backing down!

Never backing down!

Not backing down!

Yeah!

Your smile is wide as you and Kerry turn back to back, singing together and playing guitars side by side, you’re so caught up in the vibrant atmosphere until you see a familiar figure walk in, the red hue of sunglasses catching your eye. You pause, just for a second, to stare.

Johnny fucking Silverhand. It was him, somehow, in your life again. Somehow alive again. Really alive, with a body and everything. You might have cried on stage if you weren’t so dedicated to doing this and letting him see you do this.

Suits run when I come undone!

Can't kill me, I'm zero and one!

Add justice to the people's math!

Blaze your way down the rebel path!

Your eyes are glued to Johnny and he’s grinning, with a wide, child-like smile at you. You’ve never seen him that happy. You really hoped this was him, not some sick fuck trying to make money off of a lie. Your mind raced through any number of reasons why this couldn’t be Johnny, you couldn’t let yourself be vulnerable yet, not after the past seven months of running for your life from a seemingly inevitable, premature death.

C-Can you feel it?!

Can you touch it?!

Get ready cause here we go!

C-Can you feel it?!

Can you touch it?!

Get ready cause here we go!

The song comes to a close quickly, “Thanks for coming guys! We’re gonna take a quick ten-minute break and come back on!” While there’s a collective bit of confusion from the crowd, there is no argument. You liked this crowd more than the mercs at The Afterlife, you’d decided. Less whiny.

You run off the stage, looking at Johnny with your own eyes. “This isn’t real.” You whisper as he shakes his head, “It is, do you finally wanna see my cock?” He asks, chuckling to himself as you gasp, glaring at him. “Okay, I’m gonna ask you something only the real Johnny would know.” He takes off his sunglasses and rolls his eyes, but nods to let you proceed, “Okay before we left for Mikoshi, what did I tell you that I wish I had gotten to do with you.” He chuckles throatily, “Are you sure you want me to answer this around other people, because what I remember you saying is,” He raises his voice about an octave, to mock you a bit, “Oh, Johnny! I just wish I could feel your hot, impressive cock in my cunt, really bending me over this bed, or I really wish that I could ride your cock on a stage.” Your face flushes and tears threaten to fall from your eyes, this is Johnny Silverhand, your former brain parasite. You wrap your arms around his body, and it feels exactly as you thought it would. His hands rub at the small of your back, comforting you as you sob into his chest.

“H-How are you here?” You asked, looking up at him with wide eyes, “I’m not sure,” He says quietly, “I just woke up and I’m in my body. My living former body.” You shake your head in disbelief, if this was a dream, it was fucked up on your part. You pinch yourself hard and gasp at the pain, not a dream in the slightest. You grab onto Johnny’s tank top and bring his lips to yours, he’s alive and you’re not going to waste a minute more.

“Where are you going, V?” Kerry asks you as you drag Johnny into the bathroom, a smirk growing on his lips, “I’m taking twenty, Ker! Play a song where you sing alone!” Kerry looks quizzical at your rushing, you’re normally never like this but he accepts this answer as you shut the bathroom door and lock it.

“I’ve dreamed about this for so long.” You murmur, as Johnny chuckles, “Not as long as I have. I haven’t fucked in fifty years, you’re gonna feel this for a week.” Until now, his hot breath against your neck is something you hadn’t wished for. Your lips on Johnny’s an action that feels right, pulling away for air from this man that you have longed for? It only serves to feel wrong, you’d willingly die with Johnny’s lips on yours. Your hands thread through his hair as he lets out a quiet groan of approval, “I’m going to fuck the hell out of you.” You let out a whine as he chuckles, trapping your body between him and the bathroom sink, his hands trail the length of your body, working you out of your clothes, quickly, and expertly. You’ve technically, never slept together but he knows everything that makes you tick, everything that turns you on. He unbuckles his belt with a pronounced click, and his pants hit the dirty floor of the bar bathroom, he spins you around, “So fuckin’ wet, I’ve barely even touched you. You miss me while I was gone?”

You feel hot at his words and as you feel his fingers dip in between your thighs, lapping up the nectar, which now covers his fingers. He brings his fingers to your lips, “Come on babe, open your mouth so you can taste yourself.” Your lips part, almost on command as you feel his hard cock, growing and pulsing against the small of your back. As you suck on his fingers, his lips come to your neck, kissing it at first, tender, something you’d never believed Johnny would do. His small, tender neck kisses lead to bites, not hard enough to hurt you, but hard enough to make you weak in the knees and grow your arousal. Kerry’s going to have a field day teasing you about this. “Spread your legs for me, come on, V.” You part your legs, and expect his cock to slip in without much fanfare, silly considering this is Johnny. Johnny’s lips quickly come off of your neck and travel down your body, before ending up at your arousal. His lips tease at your clit, surrounding the bundle of nerves, your legs are weak as you hold onto the sink for any kind of leverage, “Fuck you taste so damn good,” You hear his growl as his tongue slips inside of you.

As Johnny tonguefucks your cunt skillfully, you cannot help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. His hands grip against the flesh of your thighs, and it isn’t until you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, flushed skin, the peak of Johnny’s head, practically drowning in your most sensitive parts, it almost brings you to the brink of an orgasm right then and there. “J-Johnny! ‘M gonna-- gonna cum, Johnny!” His name sounds incredible when it falls from your lips, “Not yet, baby.” He croons, sliding his tongue out of you. You whine with a hint of frustration, causing him a small laugh. “I want to feel the way your cunt tightens around my cock when you cum, so you’re just gonna have to wait a little bit longer. His cock throbs against your skin and you feel Johnny bring the head of it to the heat that burns between your legs, the feeling of wetness slicking your thighs as well as Johnny’s face. The head of his cock presses against your pussy, slicking it as he pushes it inside of you with a deep groan.

It’s been fifty years for him, this all on its own is perfect. “So damn tight around me, fuckin’ perfect.” He whispers into your ear as he thrusts his cock inside of you. His hand comes to your neck, not wrapping too tightly, just enough to cause a gasp in surprise as he forces your head to face the mirror, “You’re gonna watch while I,” He hits the most sensitive spot inside of you, causing you to gasp and almost making you lose control, “Fuck you senseless.” You nod, eyes trained on the mirror as Johnny’s hand moves from your throat to your breasts, he squeezes at the flesh, pinching your nipple in between his two fingers. You gasp at the sensation, the soft grip his hands have on you, it’s all too much. “Johnny, I’m-!” Johnny groans again as he nods, “Come on baby, cum all over my cock, all for me.” And with that, you come undone. The only sensation is that of Johnny filling you to the brim with his seed and your cunt, willingly throbbing around his cock. He pulls himself out of you, helping you redress into your clothes. The music outside tells you that Kerry is enjoying some solo time for himself to show off a little, you laugh as you clasp your bra behind you. “I missed you, Johnny… fuck, I can’t believe it’s really you.” He smiles at you, rubbing the pad of his thumb against your cheek. He kisses your lips, softer this time. Despite the fact that this isn’t a dream and this isn’t a joke, you don’t know if you can trust your mind enough to actually believe this.

“I’ve gotta go and finish the concert but… will you stay? Come with me to The Afterlife later?” You ask, almost scared that he’ll leave you again. He smiles a smile that you love more now that it’s really him. “Of course, I’ll stay. I wanna see how cool you look performing my songs.” Definitely is Johnny, you think to yourself, laughing softly. Before you go to unlock the bathroom door, he stops you with one more kiss, “Hey,” He speaks softly, it’s intimate, “I just want you to know, I’m never leaving you again.” You smile and kiss him once more before unlocking the door. Thankful for the confirmation that for the rest of your days, it’ll be you and Johnny.

#johnny silverhand x reader #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand x you #cyberpunk2077 #fanfiction #fanfics #x reader fanfiction #x reader fanfic #johnny silverhand x v

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spellbook-gayboy · 2 years ago

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Okay, so @timetravellingkitty tagged me in the ‘get to know me better’ ask game, so I thought I’d put it here to avoid clutter!

three ships:

Birdflash (DC Comics)

Leosagi (TMNT/Samurai Rabbit)

Markrex (Invincible)

first ever ship:

ok, I might be showing my age a bit here, but back in the day i was a hardcore Savant Par (Danny x Tucker from Danny Phantom) shipper. Haven’t watched the show in a few years now, but what can i say? Childhood friends just does it for me

last song:

but i am currently listening to

last film:

oogh, havent watched a film in a hot minute. Actually, now that I think about it, I did recently get through some of The Artist (pretty great film highly recommend it).

currently reading:

would you believe me if i said The Divine Comedy? (aka the worlds oldest author self-insert fic)

currently watching: the 1966 Batman show (childhood nostalgia reasons)

currently consuming: dihydrogen monoxide

currently craving: the weekend

Tagging: @sequids @glupshittostan @sillymanwithocs @crismakesstuff @summerfrwrks @vlogger-with-a-beanie and anyone else who wants to jump in!!

#Spotify

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creamyavocadosoup · 3 years ago

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𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

a/n: more kazuha brainrot bc my daydreams are endless characters: kazuha x f!reader tags: fluff :] inspired by cornelia street - taylor swift

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Soft orange rays of the sunset painted the landscape beautifully as you absentmindedly plucked the strings of the guitar. Your notebook rested on the ground beside you as you took a moment to breath in the scenery.

You were sat on the edge of the Jade Chamber, the height allowing you to see the entirety of Liyue Harbor. It was a magnificent sight, especially as the sun set further into the horizon. It allowed for the city to glow the mesmerizing orange it always did.

You had been too lost in thought to notice the familiar breeze that flowed around you whenever he was near. Kazuha's sudden touch on your shoulder had you jump from your seat and pulled you out of your reverie.

Turning to look at him, he had a small sheepish smile and raised brows, apologetic about scaring you. "I apologize, m'lady. I did not mean to scare you." He spoke his voice soft yet reassuring.

I only waved him off and patted to the spot beside me, urging him to sit down and he did so happily.

Lady Ningguang was apprehensive at first, letting a fugitive anywhere near the chamber was indeed an extremely stupid thought to even consider. But after learning his entire story and assurance from Beidou, she had relented and allowed him to come up freely.

Ever since then, the two of you had hung out here, Kazuha usually bringing you snacks to enjoy during your break. It had caught the eyes of Ganyu and Keqing multiple times, sometimes even coming to find you to inform you of his presence outside. The teasing grin and tone in their voice only made me roll my eyes, despite the slight heat rising to my cheeks. 'It wasn't anything like that.' you assured yourself. Even you would catch Lady Ningguang speaking to the samurai as you step outside, the knowing glint in her eyes and small lilt in her smile as she excuses herself indicating that she was indeed teasing you.

But our relationship was nothing of the romantic kind. Both you and Kazuha keeping everything strictly platonic.

The smell of Grilled Tiger Fish hit your senses and triggered the grumbling in your stomach. He only chuckled at the noise before handing you your piece.

"Didn't even realize how hungry I was. Thank you, Kazu." You spoke in between bites, solely focused on scarfing down the food.

He only smiled before switching topics, “How has your writing endeavors been?” he nudged to the open notebook beside me.

He watched as my face lit up, excitedly grabbing the guitar behind her, the snack long gone. “Speaking of, I actually want to show you a little bit of it. If you don’t mind of course?”

“I would be most honored.” he spoke, displaying the smile that would almost completely hide his crimson eyes. You ignored the warm feeling in your chest as you start to strum the strings, making sure everything sounded up to pitch.

“I don’t have it completely figured out but I’ll sing to you what I have so far.” humming, you start to get the bearings of the song you had written earlier, trying to remember by memory the notes as you glanced at the lyrics on the page.

“We were in the backseat

Drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar“

The hilarious memory flashes through your mind, putting a small smile on your face.

“We were a fresh page on the desk

Filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead

Leading us home.”

You were nervous, silently thanking that strumming the guitar hid how bad your hands would’ve shook. Despite the constant times you would convince yourself, you couldn’t deny that rush of dopamine or the instant calmness you would feel around his presence. You were growing feelings for the white-haired samurai and he didn’t even know.

“And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again.”

You took a peek at his expression. Any normal person would have told you that his face was devoid of any emotion, but the slight rising of his brows and the faint pink blush that spread across his cheeks had told you otherwise.

“And baby, I get mystified by how this city screams your name

And baby, I'm so terrified of if you ever walk away

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again”

The melodic notes soon slowly drifted off with the wind as I stopped. I struggled speak, the words getting tangled in my throat as my gaze flickers between his eyes searching for something, anything.

“So--um--yeah, that’s how far I’ve gotten.” I mumble, my hands already itching to let go of the guitar but I felt paralyzed, terrified of what I had just admitted. The silence stretched for what seemed like ages were only a few seconds before I moved from my spot.

Gathering my things, he still had not moved and I mumbled out apologies and excuses to flee from the situation. How embarrassing was that? But as quickly as I had walked away, he caught up and held onto my wrist, keeping me in place. My eyes widened as I looked into his panic-stricken expression.

“Wait,” he stammered, clearing his throat before continuing, “I apologize for my silence. I had to.. take a moment to understand the situation at hand.” he clasped both my hands between his, the heat feeling as if its seeping through my pores and adding fuel to the flame on my cheeks.

“Did--Was that song inspired by me?” he questioned, he wanted to be sure and not make any assumptions. Kazuha’s demeanor had been completely calm and collected, only his voice and the pounding of his heart betraying him. When you nodded in confirmation, it was as if a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“I like you, Kazuha.” The words rolled off your tongue before you could even register them in your head. A grin broke out on his face as he chuckled at the way your entire face turned the same color as the streak in his hair.

He let a hand trail your face, pushing away the stray hairs, “You’re adorable.” he teased but you could hear the truth to his words. He stared at your eyes, his crimson eyes glimmering under the moonlight and it looked so comforting.

Kazuha gave in to his temptations and pulled you in for a kiss, the sensation of your lips against one another sending you both swirling in ecstasy. “I like you too.” he whispered, momentarily breaking your kiss, which made you smile like an idiot.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

a/n: i got carried away writing this so sorry if it became too long :,) how was it? if u have any suggestions i ofc would love to hear them. anyways i have so much more silly little ideas in my head that i would love to write out so i will be posting more def.

#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ books #ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ sugar #kazuha x reader #kazuha #fluff #kazuha fluff #genshin impact #genshin impact fluff #genshin x you

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omg-imagine · 4 years ago

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Loopy

Pairing: Johnny Silverhand x female!V

Summary: V is a little loopy from her anesthesia, and Johnny finds it amusing.

Words: 1.7k

A/N: Requested by @thescorpionrodriguez. Hope you enjoy!

“Come on, V, wake the fuck up already.”

Silence. Johnny swears he could hear a pin drop.

V’s body remains lax on the bed; her eyes wound shut as if she were sound asleep. Slow and rhythmic, the rise and fall of her chest were calming, lulling. For once, she looks to be in peace, a rare moment for those who live and breathe in Night City.

She had been lucky. Extremely lucky. Two or three millimeters more to the right and the bullet that pierced her abdomen would have hit an organ. By some miracle, it missed anything vital and had exited out cleanly. It did fucking hurt judging by the sound of her agonizing groans, but here she was—still kicking, still alive.

And Johnny’s relieved that she was. They may not get along at times, but he genuinely cares for V. Hell, he would even consider her a good friend. She could call him a snarky asshole as often as she wants (and she does), yet he knows that deep down, she too has grown a soft spot for the rocker boy.

It’s been hours since the mission that went awry, and Johnny was getting pretty antsy. Vik had to put V down while he worked on repairing her cyberware. Nothing major, though the anesthesia should have certainly worn out by now. Much to Silverhand’s surprise, the ripperdoc wasn’t acting all too worried about it. He thinks V could use the sleep since he’s aware of how little she’s been getting.

Unfortunately, Johnny was all but a patient man. Bored out of his damn mind, he’s tired of roaming around the operating room, waiting and waiting for V to regain consciousness. Johnny’s more than ready to leave, perhaps grab a smoke afterward. He hasn’t gone this long without one lately, and he can’t enjoy one if V’s lying here, knocked out cold.

Nearly the rest of the day flies by, and the sun begins to set. That’s when he feels it; a spark—a familiar jolt of electricity emitting in the depths of V’s mind. Johnny manifests by her bedside, watching as her body finally stirs awake. That’s my girl, he silently praises, a flicker of a smile playing on his lips. V’s eyes flutter open, taking a minute to survey her surroundings before her line of sight lands on him.

“Well, look who decided to come back to life,” Johnny quips, leaning closer. “You doing alright, kid?”

V doesn’t respond. Rather, she bursts into a fit of giggles out of nowhere.

What the fuck?

Bewildered, Johnny glances everywhere but notices nothing amusing of the sort. “Care to share what you find so funny?”

“You’re too good looking to be my nurse,” V drawls, no doubt experiencing side effects from the anesthesia.

“I’m no nurse, princess, but thanks,” he corrects her. Then, it dawns on him. “You recognize me?”

She blinks at him blearily, the gears in her head turning as she tries to put a name to the face. “I dunno, should I?”

“It’s Johnny. Johnny Silverhand. Ring any bells?”

Again, V chuckles, a light-hearted tone that Johnny rarely hears, but they were sweet music to his ears when he does.

“Nope, zero bells. Are you like my husband or something?”

Johnny’s eyes widen. “Husband? Oh, no, honey. We ain’t even gone on a date yet. I’d say, think of us as partners-in-crime.”

“Wait!” V blurts out, gasping. “I remember you. You’re from that band—Samurai, right? God, I used to listen to your songs a lot as a kid.”

“Huh, you told me you’d never heard of Samurai,” Johnny recalls, slightly entertained at this point. “Didn’t peg you as a fangirl, V. I’m flattered.”

“So, can I… y’know, get your autograph?”

Just before Johnny could continue playing around with a loopy V, Viktor strolls in with Misty in tow, both delighted to find the merc out of her prolonged slumber. He lingers by the foot of her bed as Vik explains to V what happened, but she doesn’t seem to be processing it. She stares at him, dazed, and Johnny wonders when she’ll be back to normal.

“The effects should go away in a few hours,” Vik informs Misty once he’s examined V. She’s healing nicely and isn’t complaining much, yet that could be because of all the painkillers she was jacked with. “I’d say watch over V until she can stand on her own two feet without tripping. Other than that, she’s good to go.”

“Where are we going?” a clueless V asks, looking back and forth between the two. “Is Johnny coming?”

Misty furrows her brow at her. “Johnny?”

“Yeah, mister sex on legs over there,” she points eagerly, and Johnny smirks at that. “I’m not done talking to him yet.”

Vik shakes his head before reminding Misty of the engram residing within V’s psyche. “Oh, yeah. Silverhand. Uh, I guess he could come, too. Don’t really have much of a choice there, doll.”

The walk back to V’s apartment was a journey in itself. Lucky for her, she was pushed in a wheelchair throughout it all as Johnny stays visible for her benefit. They reached the door just before the skies turned completely dark, the warmth and comfort of the room being somewhat familiar to V.

Misty carefully moves her onto the bed, propping her up with pillows behind her back before smoothing out the blankets covering her legs. Johnny observes from a distance, quiet in his pondering. He’s never seen V this vulnerable before. She’s always been incredibly independent, not to mention stubborn as hell. She won’t accept anyone’s help unless it’s dire, and even then, she’s reluctant to do so.

“You must be starving,” Misty comments once V is settled. “How about I get you somethin’ to eat downstairs. Better food than what’s here, if there’s any. Hang tight for a bit, ’kay?”

Nodding, Misty then heads out of the room, the front door sliding shut when she’s gone, leaving V in the presence of Johnny yet once again. He glitches to sit by the edge of the mattress as V stares at him incredulously. Her eyes shone what he could best describe as innocence; she truly has no clue of what they’ve gone through together in the previous months.

“Can you sing me a song?”

Johnny narrows his gaze, a small chuckle rumbling in his throat at her deliriousness. “I don’t do concerts anymore.”

“Oh, come on!” V pouts, almost child-like in her ways. “Pleeease?”

“No,” he refuses sternly before an idea comes to mind. “How about you sing to me? Said you were a fan. Give me a performance, and maybe I’ll consider it.”

V does not hesitate. On cue, she starts to serenade Johnny with one of Samurai’s greatest hits, going as far as imitating the gruffness of his voice. Off-beat and lyrics garbled, V belts out the tune confidently and loud enough that her irritated neighbors began banging on the wall, yelling at her to quit it.

She ignores them, of course.

Meanwhile, Johnny’s having the time of his life. It was quite endearing to him, although embarrassing for V if she later finds out about this. Yet, he doesn’t stop her. He encourages her even further by singing along, not giving a fuck in the world.

At the end of the song, Johnny laughs heartily along with V, who had crawled closer to him. Their eyes meet for a moment that seems to last longer than it actually did. His mouth quirks up in a smile, the kind of smile that was reserved for her and her alone.

“You’re pretty cool, Silverhand,” V mumbles sleepily, touching the cold surface of his chrome arm. Sighing, Johnny guides her drowsy self back under the covers, certain that she would crash in the next minute or two. “I think you should take me on a date. We’d be a hell of a couple together.”

“I think you’re going to regret everything that’s happened just now when you wake up in the morning,” he returns, and there was a slight pang in his chest.

V only hums in response, and he doubts he had even heard what he last said. It doesn’t matter, however. Johnny was sure she wouldn’t want to bring this up again.

---

“Fuck…” V exhales groggily, her blinking eyes wincing at the bright sunlight flooding into the room. She feels pain all over, her head throbbing immensely as she tries to gather memories of the day prior. It comes back in bits and pieces until suddenly, she remembers everything.

Everything.

“Good morning, princess,” Johnny greets after materializing before her, a cocky smirk plastered on his face. “How ya feelin’? Still loopy or need a little more refreshing from ‘mister sex on legs?’”

V’s reflexes are quick; Johnny doesn’t even register the pillow being hurled at him at first. He only realizes it when the empty glass bottles on the center table falls to the floor, shattering and making a mess.

“You’re lucky you’re just a hologram, right now,” V muttered as she stands up unsteadily.

Johnny holds his hands up. “You were the one who said it.”

Rolling her eyes, V reaches for the painkillers Misty left on the side. “Don’t remind me.”

“Alright, but at least let me tell you that you’ve got a shitty voice.”

“That’s why I don’t do karaoke,” V snorts before swallowing the pills and heading to the couch. “So, what do you think?”

“What do you mean?” Johnny questions.

“You, me, dinner?”

V waits for his reaction, smiling coyly at his confusion. When Johnny finally understands what she was referring to, he almost couldn’t believe it.

“Wait, are you fucking serious?”

She lets out a chortle. “Yeah, I’m serious. Don’t get me wrong, I’m mortified about last night, and I’m never going to let Vik knock me out with that stuff again. But hey, the truth came out. Might not have remembered you, but even while high as fuck, I knew I liked you.”

Briefly, they traded a look of longing, acknowledging at last this deeper connection they’ve felt for a while. It was much more than sharing a body, a mind. Something more profound than what Johnny and V have experienced before in their lives.

And though it was all entirely new to them, they both wanted it. They both wanted each other.

“Better get to it then,” Johnny flashes a grin, mirroring V’s own. “Wanna start with breakfast? Bet you’re hungry after skipping what Misty brought you, samurai.”

“Never going to live that one down, are ya?”

Shooting her a cheeky wink, Johnny throws on his stylish pair of aviators with ease.

“You bet your ass I’m not.”

Permanent Tags: @penwieldingdreamer @keandrews @feminine-machinegun @fanficsrusz @thehumanistsdiary @flaminasteroid @rowserein @unaspiringwritings @planetkt @breakthenight @baphometwolf666 @rdjloverxxx

Johnny Silverhand Tags: @silverse @overheardatthecontinental @life-is-fuucked @ataraxydreams

#johnny silverhand x v #johnny silverhand #cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand x reader #johnny silverhand fanfic

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meliorist-midoriya · 4 years ago

Text

chasing the sun

synopsis: there’s something screaming in familiarity—in mourning—deep in his soul at the sight of you, a complete stranger. this is the price you pay for resurrection, the sun whispers as it rises.

pairing: takami keigo x fem!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, reincarnation au

warnings: mentions and depictions of death, major character deaths, mentions of war (+ description of a battlefield scene), injuries, blood.

word count: 11.7k

a/n: happy (extremely belated) birthday, bird boy. and aaaa my baby’s here, she’s finally here! i’ve been working on this fic for a little over two months now, and i’m so happy to see it fully fleshed out! thank you to @dimplesum for beta reading, and the tumblr chaos server for listening to me yell all the time abt this fic :’) disclaimer, i did as much research as i could, but any historical depictions are not 100% historically accurate and i have taken some creative liberty, so please take the historical scenes with a grain of salt!

important: there will be songs linked throughout the fic to be played in accordance with the scene, i do hope you listen to them for the full experience! it is okay if the ost ends before the scene as that is also on purpose. the beginning of the song will start with 【 ☀︎ 】 with a link to the song. with that said, i hope you enjoy, and happy reading!

crossposted on Ao3

【 ☀︎ 】

Dawn finds Keigo, the youngest government official in the empire, stumbling upon a lone concubine in the eastern lotus garden.

He’d been searching for solitude, away from the viper’s nest of samurai-turned-aristocrats, strutting around the castle with their now-useless weapons strapped to their hips, discussing poetry and politics instead of battle and war tactics.

It’d been disgustingly easy for them to make the switch from warrior to bureaucrat, taking the status boost in stride. Those who couldn’t, they stayed with their lords if they were lucky. The warriors who weren’t… Keigo would need an abacus to count the ones who weren’t so lucky, the countless rumors and reports of wandering rōnin with familiar names never failing to reach over the palace walls to get to him.

(Oh, what he would give to join them.)

Of course, he’d been intending to brood ponder over this in the seclusion of the garden he’d discovered a few days ago, staring at the green buds of the young lotuses in the water until his head spun. The sight of the concubine sitting in his spot (that he was certain was too secluded to be found) told him fate had other plans, however.

He cleared his throat and forced down the grimace once he saw the concubine jump, startled, before trying her best to smoothly turn and bow without looking too flustered.

“Good morning, madam.”

“Good morning—”

He smiled through the static in his brain at the mention of his surname, messily tacked to the honorific that he would never get used to.

That name… it’s not mine. Don’t call me that.

A discordant mess of jumbled kanji that sounded nothing like the powerfully elegant names in the court. The ill-fitting characters standing out like an eyesore on his documents, the syllables falling awkwardly off the tongue in conversation.

Wholly fitting for an outsider like him, really.

The mention of that name grated something terrible in him, and he settled for keeping his teeth grit into a smile. A sheltered concubine wouldn’t know, of course she wouldn’t know. Practically no one did, so he had no one to fault but his own cursed sensitivity to a name he wanted to burn.

“Do you mind if I join you?” The slight twitch in her demure smile was answer enough, but he’d set aside time for this escape, and damn if he was going to let it go to waste.

“Of course not. Please, don’t mind me, my lord.”

He dipped his head in thanks and you bowed in return, the silence hanging in the air settling into something stiff and awkward.

A minute passed…

Then another…

Then five…

Keigo was going to go mad at this rate. Neither of you had any intention of leaving the rare pocket of seclusion, and the competitive whisper in the corner of his mind told him that leaving first meant conceding, meant losing.

(In his world, losing meant death.)

Keigo’s had enough of losing in life despite his dumb luck, thank you very much.

So, he did what he knew he did best. He talked. Shattering the awkward silence in an effort to coax the tranquil silence he was searching for back into the little gazebo by the pond. Maybe if he ran his mouth long enough, you’d get tired and leave.

“You’re a new face in the palace.”

With an expectant gaze, he watched the telltale shift from awkward to apprehensive, the rigidness of your stature sharply contrasting the flowing brocade of your kimono as you looked back at him with a too-sharp gaze before casting your eyes away to the green buds in the water. Had he been any slower, Keigo would’ve thought that the conflicted expression you quickly smoothed over was solemn (it was anything but).

“I would say the same to you, my lord, but every face in this castle is a new face to me.” You tilted your head with a thin-lipped smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Although… I’m sure an official who just arrived at the castle for his yearly residence would be an especially new face. Please excuse my rudeness.”

Keigo blinked. Once, twice, his jaw relaxing into a disbelieving smile at the sight of your steely gaze bright with a challenge and a smile sharper than the blades at his waist, the unsaid words ringing clearly.

Two could play at this game.

Well, now, this was new.

Perhaps it was your defiance that remained steadfast in this castle, or the blissful ignorance that made you one of the few to look at him straight on instead of down your nose. A little voice whispered that this would change in due time, the politics and power struggles confined within the castle never failing to break down even the most resilient. Those that didn’t know how to play the game correctly simply… vanished.

“Someone’s well-informed, I see.” He folded his hands behind his back, his wish for tranquility long forgotten. “I heard a new concubine has just entered the castle as well. A consolation prize, of sorts, from the farthest reaches of the country. Of course, as I’ve been gone for a year and have only been here for four, I’m not too sure.” He flicks his gaze to you, accepting your challenge with a knife-sharp smile of his own.

“I am curious as to what this concubine’s name is, however.”

You arched a brow, the thin-lipped smile widening into something sweet (that looked better on a fox rather than a beautiful concubine), and you bowed. Any trace of that stiff apprehensiveness dissolved into a graceful fluidity that seemed to disappear within the rippling silk of your kimono.

“Lady Y/N. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

To this day, he’ll never admit how surprised he was at your reverence, nor how his heart did a funny little flip in his chest when you giggled at his flustered response. What kind of fool gave respect to a commoner picked up from the slums?

You. Except you were no fool, and maybe that’s why he kept coming back like a moth to flame.

Time passed, and he found himself in that little garden day after day, morning after morning. Listening to the concubine who told vivid stories of lands he could only dream of, foods he found himself craving, and tales of warriors past.

The conversations at dawn soon turned into stories of the past, the laments of the present, and dreams of a bleak future. With delicate hands and gently prying words, you two unlocked every bar and lock you’d put over your souls and allowed yourselves to lay them bare for each other, the intimacy of a bond forged in secrets and solidarity far stronger than any alliance or contract.

You two confided in each other in that garden, staring at the dew on the lilypads as you two whispered how you didn’t belong in the palace. How the confines of grand walls with ears and eyes were no place for the adopted commoner and a concubine far from home. Two people in this big world who were just lucky enough, fortunate enough to end up within this lavish palace, your lives guaranteed splendor and comfort.

Then again—you two would share a conspiratorial laugh—maybe you two were unfortunate instead. What was splendor and comfort when you had to constantly watch for a knife in your back or poison in your cup? When a single misstep could cost you your life?

Conversations shared with you, the concubine with a sharp tongue and even sharper wit, were the most fulfilling he’s had in ages. Maybe it was the sense of formality that the intimacy of the waterside gazebo stripped away, or the unraveling realization that he hasn’t breathed this freely in ages, that he was looking forward to these moments in the morning. The intimacy shared in the garden he selfishly liked to call his own little world.

Keigo catches the smile you hide behind your sleeve when he steps into the gazebo, and he realizes you’re being selfish, too.

He didn’t know how the conversation got here, he didn’t know why he had a hairpin meant for you tucked into his sleeve. All he knew was that when it came to you, he was helpless to the whims of rambling and buying a pretty hairpin made of red jade because it reminded him of a sharp wit with a pretty smile.

“I live for this country and I die for this country. Well, not that there’s anything much to die for anyway.” Keigo’s laugh is empty, and your melancholic gaze even emptier. A fog had blown in that morning, covering the pond in a soft cover of white, and your soft voice and softer touch on his arm (careful, almost) silenced his dry laughter and left his throat even drier.

“What you would die for is also an excellent reason to live, is it not?”

Your words, whispered into the stillness of the moment, resonated so loudly within his soul and forced a shaky breath out of his lungs as he gazed in awe at you. At the soft, ethereal glow in the fog cast by the rising sun breaking through the clouds, the scent of bloomed lotuses wafting in on the breeze that rustles the dangling pieces of your hair ornaments. He is weak to whims when it comes to you, so he pulls out the hairpin burning a hole in his sleeve to slip into your hair with shaking hands unbefitting a swordsman. Keigo watches your eyes sparkle like the gem in your hair, and his heart lifts with hope as he whispers his devotion into the warm morning, carried by the wind into a sea of blooms.

“I’ll live for you, then.”

And with a smile, you fall in love.

(Keigo falls even harder.)

【 ☀︎ 】

He should have known.

“I don’t know what I was expecting from the son of a criminal.”

He really should have known.

“What was that fool thinking, taking a street rat like you in all those years ago?”

Honestly, he’d like an answer to that, too. Too bad the old man was dead and left him to inherit a position he didn’t even want. To think he’d agree with the emperor for once in his short life.

“Tsk, a son will follow in his father’s footsteps, after all. A grave in Kozukappara should suit him well.”

Keigo should be concerned that he couldn’t feel how the coarse dirt dug into his knees anymore, his cheek still aching from where the guard had punched him.

(Okay, yes, he deserved it, but he could’ve done without tasting iron.)

The sadistic glee in the guard’s face after he landed that “disciplinary strike” told him otherwise. With a bitter grimace, he spat red into the dirt.

How long has he been kneeling here? Minutes? Hours? The words echoing over and over in his head pulled him away from his present reality, bringing him back to the blur that was the past two days.

(Three? He couldn’t be sure, time passes oddly in a prison cell.)

The servants whispering about a concubine being expelled from the harem, the handmaid being promoted to concubine suspiciously quickly, and sudden memories of too-loud rustling coming from the treeline that he’d foolishly brushed off. All of it culminated in the form of palace guards dragging him from his study all the way to the harem to throw him at the emperor’s feet.

“Could the street rat not keep his hands off the women of the court? Plenty to pick back where you came from.”

Keigo wanted to vomit at the cloying stench of sake, unpleasant memories rushing to the forefront of his mind and forcing his limbs to lock from age-old fear. Not like he could use them anyway, with heavy hands on each shoulder pinning his knees to the tatami and his blades having long been tossed away in the struggle to drag him here.

“Oh, my lord, haven’t you heard?” A sickeningly saccharine voice pulled the man’s attention away to coo at the woman curled into his side, cradling a bottle of warmed sake. “Apparently the small-time nobleman who adopted him, did it knowing he was the son of that criminal you were having trouble with all that time ago.”

The grip forcing his head down loosened from the resounding laughter that rippled around the room, just enough to allow Keigo to glare at the loose-lipped concubine. Your opportunistic maidservant who’d been all too willing to take your place in the harem, having taken her chance and fleeing with it. Her tittering giggles and power-drunk grin grated his ears, and he kept glaring. Daring her to look back, to look him in the eye without feeling an ounce of guilt for what she had done.

Almost as if she heard his furious challenge, she took a glance at the man pinned to the floor (trying to look down her nose like she had been looked down on. Pathetic fool.) only to jump at the righteous fury burning in his gaze, fear clouding her conscience for a precious moment.

More, Keigo urged, rage bitter on his tongue, Guilt, shame, despair, all of it.

I hope you regret this for the rest of your life. Lament, as punishment for ruining hers—

“Don’t assume what I have and haven’t heard, woman,” The drunkard grunted, holding his cup out for her to pour with shaking hands and a meek surrender, “But, the man was losing his mind from age. What was that fool thinking, taking a dirty brat like this in all those years ago? Too useless to bear a son nor keep a wife, so he had to stoop low enough to take in a criminal’s son from the slums.”

Righteous fury welled up in his chest, and his body moved before his brain could catch up, spit landing at the emperor’s feet. Almost immediately thereafter, his head whipped to the side, cheek smarting from the sharp strike the guard’s knuckles had indented into his swelling cheek. He grit his teeth as that same cheek came down on the tatami, someone pressing his head into the ground.

“Years upon years of trying to force yourself into nobility, and you’d think you’d learn some respect along the way.”

Had he not been the one with his face pressed into the ground, Keigo would’ve laughed at the shade of fury-red the man’s face was turning. Sake did not treat him well. The concubines at his side, fearing for their lives, immediately rushed to whisper soothing words and calming pleas. Somehow, it worked, and he reclined back into his seat with a heavy sigh, draining the sake in one gulp.

“The son of a criminal shall inevitably become a criminal. Now that I think about it, this is a wonderful opportunity to get rid of an eyesore. A grave in Kozukappara should suit him well.” A sadistic grin split his lips around the cup, chortling with laughter at his own (terrible) wit. “Being buried next to his criminal father! What a filial son!”

The table shook from the force of a fine porcelain cup slamming down on it, as if the emperor were stamping his death certificate right then and there.

(He was.)

“Get him out of my sight. The next time I want to see his head is on the gates of Kozukappara.”

Keigo the official had died in that room, and the man that was dragged out by his shoulders left the castle as a criminal.

“Done saying your prayers?”

Slowly, he looked up from the white paper fan set in front of him in place of the tantō that should’ve been there for his use (obligatory seppuku, his muddled brain supplied with annoyingly familiar haughtiness, so the ex-warrior could die a warrior. What a joke—) to the man he’d chosen to be his executioner. Normally, he would’ve snapped back with something witty, something sharp, but going days without water wasn’t treating him well. A heavy sigh, and the man ran a frustrated thumb down the bright blue wrap of his katana hilt.

“The concubine, of all women? An imperial concubine, at that. I’d expect you to know better than that, my friend.”

Ah, the static in his head was a little stronger today. Wonderful.

“I thought I knew better, too. At least I get to die to someone with a steady hand.”

He scoffed, thumb running over the blue hilt again. Keigo idly remembered seeing the man rub his burn-leathered skin the same way countless times, the anxious habit having stubbornly ingrained itself into his being since childhood.

“Must you be so dark?”

“When am I not?” He managed to muster up a slow grin. “I’m hurt, I thought my closest companion would’ve known this after years of keeping swords out of each other’s backs.”

The heavy gong announcing his execution sounded, and he watched his best friend’s melancholic gaze glaze over into soulless steel that mirrored the blade drawn from its hilt. Keigo dipped his head with a solemn smile and shut his eyes in resignation.

I really… should’ve known…

“Keigo!”

Everything paused for a breath, in shock at your shout breaking the stillness of the moment. He didn’t have to lift his head to know who was crying out, trying to delay the inevitable certainty. A sharp smile and an even sharper tongue reduced to nothing but cries and desperation.

“...I’ll continue.” The executioner ignored your desperate “No!” as he shifted his stance, scarred hands steady as he placed the blade against the back of his neck despite the pain Keigo knew he was in.

It would’ve been nice to hold you in his arms, at least once—

No, for eternity.

The blade came down and, like a lotus facing the sun in supplication, you screamed your despair into the heavens.

That day, the blood red sunset matched the crimson pooling on the execution ground’s floor.

【 ☀︎ 】

Dawn finds Private First Class Takami Keigo marching into a small city on the way to the front lines, rifle slung over his shoulder and feet aching.

They’ve been marching through the night, and for the first time in his life, he found himself grateful for Japan’s humid summer nights. He’d take sweat over losing toes from frostbite any day.

But, he decides, sighing in relief along with the rest of the company at the sight of a town once they crested the hill, there was nothing like the relief of a warm bed and any food other than the tasteless military rations.

“Tired already?” The low voice beside him would’ve made him jump had it not been so familiar.

“Aw, what’s this? Is Touya-kun worried for little old me?” Keigo shot a grin at the man marching next to him and dodged the elbow that he aimed at his side with a short laugh.

“A tired soldier is a dead soldier.” A pause, and the next response came backed with a dry laugh. “Not like it’d affect you and your monstrous instincts, anyway.”

“Yes, as we’ve been told a thousand times, General.” The teasing tilt to his voice came easy, and he let his best friend elbow him this time, too busy laughing at his annoyance.

Should he have been a little more worried of the captain catching him messing around? Yes, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. Judging by the restless shifting rippling through the soldiers, no one was too worried about getting a scolding when they were so close to a warm meal and rest.

“Think the inn will be big enough to house all of us? Another night sleeping on the floor doesn’t sound all that nice to me.”

Touya scoffed as if his question was the stupidest thing he’d heard all day, keeping his gaze straight as he adjusted the rifle on his shoulder, the company shifting around them into formation as they approached the gates.

“You’re complaining like it’s anything new to us.”

“Harsh.”

The conversation faded after that, the rough dirt under his boots soon transitioning into the packed earth of the town’s main street as residents gathered to whisper and gawk at the soldiers passing through, the sight of their uniforms a jarring eyesore in this sleepy town.

A sleepy, familiar town.

Keigo’s mind was spinning. His restless gaze kept flicking around the too-familiar buildings and shops and people that remained after all these years. The restaurant with the broken kitchen window that was too easy to sneak into, the grocer who still kept his trash bin too close to the alley, the old woman sitting in front of her izakaya who always had ginger candy and a meal to give.

They slowed to a stop in front of the large inn, and he stared up at the building that looked much smaller than he remembered, the interior much less grand than he’d imagined it to be as they filed their way in, and he found himself in the room he once dreamed of sleeping in. There, Keigo sat in near disbelief, on the futon that wasn’t as soft as he thought it would’ve been.

“How time flies, huh?” He looked up to see Touya dropping his pack next to his futon and sitting down across from him with a melancholy grin.

There was too much Keigo wanted to say, nostalgia bitter in the back of his throat, so he settled for a matching smile.

“Old Man Yasutaro never got around to fixing that boarded up window.”

Touya barked out a surprised laugh, Keigo’s smile widening into a self-satisfied grin.

“You ever think he did that on purpose? He always did stock too much food.”

“Are you kidding?” Keigo shuddered at the phantom pain of the beatings he earned. “He was scary whenever he caught us, there’s no way mean ol’ Yasutaro would do all that just for a pair of orphans on the street.”

“Mm, I don’t know, he was always pretty sweet to Granny Tamayo, so anything that made him look good in her book.” Touya leaned back on his arms, the melancholy melting into the ease of bittersweet nostalgia. It was easier to smile through the painful memories rather than dwell on the past, so Keigo let himself toss his head back with a laugh.

“God, her ginger candy was the best.”

“You sure it was the candy? Or the granddaughter who always snuck an extra piece to you?” That earned Touya a frustrated noise of protest and a half-hearted kick he dodged.

“That was ages ago!”

“And you still react like a little boy!”

Keigo groaned, burying his face into his hands as if that would tune out Touya’s cackling laughter. It was short moments like this that took the weight off his shoulders, the murmurs of public dissent, the leaked plans of a planned riot, the magnitude of his actions tomorrow morning.

(Civilians. Of all things, why did it have to be civilians?)

He suddenly pushed himself to his feet, the heavy weight having pushed itself back onto his shoulders and slotting the familiar hum of alertness back into place. Touya gave him a knowing look that he, decidedly, ignored in favor of getting out before his mind swallowed him whole.

“Dinner is supposed to be in a bit, we should get going.”

“Wonderful job of changing the subject, really.”

“Wonderful job of being annoying.”

Touya dodged another swipe of the leg, laughing at his displeasure as he stood to follow.

“Why thank you, I try.” His grin widened with a certain glint in his eye that Keigo found himself dreading. “Now let’s get going, I heard some of the guys are at Granny Tamayo’s izakaya.”

“What?”

“My, isn’t that little Keigo? And little Touya?”

Keigo faltered halfway through the entrance, smoothing his grimace into a smile as he watched the old lady totter over from her seat with all the coddling of a grandmother. The soldiers within earshot (who were already drinking and eating away. It was barely sunset—) paused to gawk and grin at the endearing interaction.

“Not so little anymore, Granny.”

“I’ll say. Are you eating alright? Is the military treating you well?”

“Granny!”

“What’s this? Speedy and Torchface have some history here?” Keigo kept his smile smooth, only shifting it just the slightest bit into what he knew would look like a sheepish grin instead of the pained grimace underneath the surface. Boisterous laughter that only alcohol could bring rippled around the spacious izakaya, the men cracking jokes over drinks and food.

“Careful calling him Torchface, he has the temper to match.”

Ah, there it is. Touya shouldered past him to stalk towards the offending table with a scarily wide grin, pulling the loose-lipped rookie into a chokehold, his wide grin unmoving.

“‘Has a temper’ my ass, you’re just jealous that a guy with a bunch of burn scars has an easier time with women than you idiots.”

The laughter only grew louder, Granny Tamayo’s expression softening at the interaction before turning back to Keigo with a nostalgic smile.

“Not so little… I see.” She motioned to the table Touya had made a space for himself at, shoving the rookie (who was still in a chokehold, poor kid) aside to make room for him. “Take a seat, dear, and the drinks will be right out.”

The too-loud laughter and incessantly clinking glasses filled the space up with ear-grating noise, and Keigo wanted to leave. Search for peace and solitude in the quiet streets in a way that was strangely familiar.

(For a fleeting moment, he thought a quiet garden would be nice.)

However, he’d rather eat with the company of drunks rather than the void of his own mind and the horrors silence tended to bring, so the migraine starting to brew in the back of his head was a small price to pay. As was the heavy arm slung over his shoulder from some random soldier, alcohol-loosened and heavy, and the awkward conversation he found himself following along with perfectly tailored humor.

“Alright, I have two beers as well as a few rounds of edamame and—”

The familiar voice stopped short, and Keigo felt his heart stop in tandem. Slowly, he looked up and saw the girl who used to sneak out an extra candy when her grandmother wasn’t looking, now a woman in the izakaya uniform balancing trays in one hand and two mugs in the other.

“...Keigo?”

Almost as if the locked gates had been thrown open, a new rush of memories past had overcome him. Jaunts through the town disguised as adventures, clumsily dancing around an old gramophone and calling it a waltz, and the start of blossoming love. Keigo simply smiled, easygoing and familiar, like it hadn’t been years since you saw him run to the military with Touya the first chance they had, drawn by the promise of food and shelter. Like he hadn’t left a malnourished boy and come back a man with more scars than skin.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“‘Been a while.’” You rolled your eyes, setting down the mug in front of him with a huff. “The two most important people in my life run off to join the army without so much as a word, and that’s what you say?”

His words stopped halfway up his throat the moment he saw Granny Tamayo come up behind you to pinch you on the arm, the half-formed response morphing into a laugh as he watched you flinch back with a surprised (and betrayed) yelp.

“Y/N, darling, don’t be rude to the customers.” You pouted, rubbing at the sore spot on your upper arm.

“Yes, Grandmother.”

“It’s fine, Granny. Nothing new, right?” At the sight of his cheeky smile, the old woman scoffs, something endearing, before nudging him out of his seat despite your noise of protest.

“Well, since you two seem to be talking of nothing but the past, why don’t you go take a walk down memory lane?”

“Wha— Grandmother! There’s still customers—”

“Kaede can handle it just fine! Shoo, shoo, get out of my hair.”

Without missing a beat, Granny Tamayo smoothly plucked the trays from your hands and nudged you two towards the door as the soldiers watching roared with laughter and cooed jokes at the two “childhood lovers”. Keigo turned towards Touya, almost desperately, in a futile search for— what? Escape? Wasn’t he looking for escape in the first place?

“Wait, Granny, come on. Touya’s part of this too, isn’t he?”

“Don’t drag me into this, a trip down memory lane isn’t for me!” With an arm still slung over the now-wheezing rookie’s shoulder, Touya raised the cup of sake he’d ordered as if in toast. Whether it was to Keigo’s mortification, or to the potential opportunities this meant, Keigo didn’t want to know.

Probably both.

(...Probably the former, if he were to be honest with himself.)

A flurry of drunken laughter and lighthearted jokes, half-hearted protests that fell on deaf ears, and insistent pushing at his back later, he found himself standing outside the izakaya, blinking up at the full moon before looking over at you.

“...Did we just get kicked out?”

“I think we did.” You snorted, scuffing a mark into the dirt path with your heel, and Keigo wanted the earth to crack open and swallow him whole. What was he supposed to do? Stuck with the remnants of a rekindling love, the awkwardness that tended to come with years of estrangement and words that failed him when it came to you.

Well, there’s really only one thing he could do.

Talk.

“So, what’s new with you?” He immediately cringed at his choice of words, forcing himself to school his expression over into an easygoing smile instead of recoiling like he so desperately wanted to do.

Nice going there, Keigo, really.

“...Same old.” Your quiet answer snapped him out of his thoughts, and he tilted his head, almost like he was beckoning you to continue. “Same old town, same old job, same old life. I pretty much walked the path everyone knew I was going to go on as the granddaughter of the izakaya’s owner.”

You looked up with a sheepish grin, the bright moonlight casting the world (and you) in a silver glow, and Keigo felt his heart leap into his throat.

“Not the most exciting to a man from the military, huh?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve seen a lot—” Keigo rubbed at the identification tag hidden under his clothes by force of habit, the leather cord heavy around his neck. He has seen a lot. Too much, to be exact, but how would he even begin to explain the horrors of man to someone… “normal”? How could he?

For someone whose wit and silver tongue helped him survive all these years, he was awfully tongue-tied tonight. Or maybe it was just you, and the surreal lightness settling into his soul that had him stumbling over his words.

“But you’ve seen enough?” You finished his sentence with a wry grin, and the surprised laugh found itself past his lips before he could catch it. How could he forget? You were always, always a step ahead of him. Back then and even now.

“Enough of my barracks and Touya’s face? Yeah, definitely.” You swatted his arm with a huff, and the familiar action made the next laugh come a little easier, his chest a little lighter as the awkwardness slowly dissipated into something… comfortable. Normal.

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Well, that’s your answer, Y/N. Don’t know what else to tell you,” He shrugged in mock ignorance, and you groaned, going back to worrying at the deepening scuff in the dirt.

“What, so, we both had boring lives?”

Far from boring.

“...Yeah, I guess so.”

You pursed your lips and stared out at the quiet street, the beat of silence almost bordering on awkward by the time you broke it with a resolute sigh, starting to walk forward into the moonlight.

“Well, I guess we’ll have to make up for it somehow.”

“And how would you do that?”

“By going back to when life wasn’t so boring,” You hummed, spinning to face him and grandly spreading your arms, as if you were presenting the lantern-lit street to him, “C’mon! Tonight, this main street is memory lane!”

“Aren’t you taking me out of town at one point, though?”

“Oh, hush. Are you coming or not?”

“I’m coming, coming.”

Oh, your smile was radiant, and Keigo had to force himself to keep moving instead of gaping like a fool.

(Was it possible for him to make you smile like that all the time?)

For the next hour, time seemed to stop. The moon stood frozen in the sparkling sky, watching two star-crossed lovers go around town, laughing and reminiscing on what could’ve been. What could be, if Keigo were to be bold. You took him down Main Street as promised, and he found it hard to relate to the memories you spoke of, associating each store with scornful stares and pitiful ignorance. Eventually, you two looped around to the outskirts of town. To the river that looked more like a creek now, and the quaint houses and maze of alleyways. To familiarity.

He smiles as he watches you skip rocks in the creek, laughs when you wrinkle your nose at the dog that always seems to only bark when you two pass by Old Man Yasutaro’s gate, and revels in the memories.

“You still suck!”

“Hey! It’s not like we skip rocks all the time in the military.”

You merely rolled your eyes and continued to skip ahead, the slow and awkward trudge from before revived into the enthusiastic step he remembered, fueled by the joys of nostalgia and escape.

This, Keigo realizes, is nostalgia.

Not the pain of remembering a past he wanted to forget, not looking at alleyways to remember what used to be his childhood, not thinking of the shops as someplace otherworldly. Rather, it was this. The joy of reminiscing on good times. The joy of breathing new life into old memories.

The joy he now knew was to be found in you.

“Hey.” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, and he looked up to see you grinning, the moonlight illuminating something akin to mischief in your eyes. “Remember that old gramophone we could never figure out when we were little?”

“You mean you could never figure out. I didn’t want to touch it because Granny Tamayo is a scary, scary woman.”

And a dirty street orphan’s hands had no place on such an expensive thing.

You rolled your eyes and he chuckled, following along anyway as you set off down the path with a new purpose. The route was familiar, and Keigo already had an idea of where this was going, but who was he to speak when you were nearly buzzing with excitement?

“What I mean to say is: I figured it out, so—” You spun in place again, taking his hand, and his heart damn near stopped, “—would you like this dance? To some actual music, this time.”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you? A proper lady needs the proper etiquette, after all.” His cheeky grin betrayed the politeness of his words, and you scoffed, tugging him along.

“Like you would ask me first.” Keigo’s tongue stalled around a response, scrambling for a proper comeback because you were right. Deep down, he knew that he still never would’ve asked you first for anything. It wasn’t his place. First, as a kid on the street compared to the granddaughter of the izakaya owner. Now, as a man with blood on his hands compared to an innocent civilian, untainted by the shadows of war.

Who was he to ask anything from a normal person?

“Lead the way, then.”

There was that radiant grin again, brimming with excitement and sending him reeling. Keigo couldn’t help but let your enthusiasm rub off on him as he followed you to the little communal courtyard behind Granny Tamayo’s home, where he knew that she liked to keep that Western gramophone to play for guests. You broke away to go and try and work the old machine, mumbling to yourself as you fiddled with the knobs and rifled through the records filed away in the ornate cabinet it was sitting on.

He took the chance to look around the empty courtyard, struck with the realization that it hadn’t changed at all in the years he was gone. He left all those years ago, only to return to a town that seemed almost frozen in time. It was too far from the cities for all the modern inventions to catch up with it, so the only things that changed were, well, the people. Keigo most of all. What if he hadn’t—

The sudden burst of music and your shout of victory cut off his wandering train of thought, and you walked back into his line of vision with a triumphant grin.

“I still don’t know how to fix the tempo, so the song’s a little slow. You’ll have to forgive me for that.” You offered up your hand and tilted your head, still smiling. “May I have this dance?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Like you’d ask me first.”

【 ☀︎ 】

Keigo grinned in well-earned defeat, and his hand slipped into yours with the other on your waist. The music swelled, and he took the first step.

One, two, three, one, two, three…

With too-slow, clumsy steps, the two of you slowly began waltzing your way around the small courtyard. You still kind of didn’t know how to work the gramophone—the song almost eerily slow, despite the years of fiddling—but that didn’t matter in the face of the giddy smiles shared, your soft laughs when he spun you in a flash of spontaneity, and the nostalgia of old times.

Before, he was a scrawny kid on the street who clumsily tried to follow the steps of the pretty girl playing a song on her father’s gramophone. Tomorrow, he would be Private First Class Takami Keigo, fighting for his life on the battlefield. Tonight, he would be normal again, slow dancing to Clair de Lune playing off an old, off-beat gramophone with you in his arms, mourning a start he didn’t get to have.

(As normal as a kid scrounging for scraps on the street could’ve been.)

Your voice, soft and wavering, broke the stillness of the moment, as if it were something taboo that shouldn’t have been uttered into existence at all.

“Keigo?”

“Yes, beautiful?”

You flushed at the endearment, the next words shattering his illusion of happiness within nostalgia with the renewed vigor of confidence in the face of the impossible.

“Will you come home?”

Home.

A simple word, really. And yet it dropped like a stone in his chest. Home meant a roof over his head. Home meant warm food on the table. Home meant a simple life in a sleepy rural town. Home meant the promise of a new beginning.

To you, “home” probably meant nothing more than the place you had known all your life.

To him, “home” meant you.

So, like a dreamer in love, he answered with all the confidence of a fool.

“Yeah... I will. I don’t care how long it’ll take me, but I’ll come home.”

He thought the shaky lilt to his voice would’ve given him away, or the way his step faltered in the already clumsy waltz as if trying to step around what he knew should’ve been the answer.

Instead, you laughed. Something soft, and let him spin you once more.

“Well, I’ve already waited a couple years, what’s a little more waiting?”

Keigo had to keep himself from double checking if this was real. Dancing with you in the moonlight as he tried to step around the reality of that answer with all the awkward grace of a scared child.

One, two, three, one, two, three…

Truth be told, the both of you knew the answer long before you had pushed the question into desperate existence, searching for a shred of hope. That his simple answer should have been an realistic “I don’t know” or a pessimistic “no promises”, instead of a foolish “yes.”

Instead, he slowed the waltz to a sway, pulling you close to both ingrain the feeling of you into his soul and to hopefully hide the resigned melancholy of a soldier being carted off to uncertainty.

And, for a traitorous moment, Keigo wondered.

Dreamed, even.

What would it have been like to have a “normal” life? Instead of grasping the hand of desperation, would he have grown out of the side alleys and homes made of boxes into a “respectable” man? Maybe he could’ve gotten a job at the grocer’s, at Old Yasutaro’s restaurant, or maybe even Granny Tamayo’s izakaya. Could he have—he pulled you closer, pressing a ghost of a kiss to your temple—could he have courted you the “right” way? Brought you flowers and honey-sweet words of praise and promises of a happy future, instead of a single night dancing in the moonlight with a brittle promise hanging in the tense air that the both of you clung onto like a lifeline. A promise that Keigo wasn’t even sure he could fulfill.

He would later come to regret this single moment. Of this, he was sure.

(But, as you lifted your head from his chest with glassy eyes and a shaky smile, he knew he wasn’t alone in this regret.)

Keigo knew the words that you wished to let fall into the night air, in hopes of making that brittle promise tangible. Of giving life to a bright future with three little words. The reality crawled up his throat like poison, bitter and cloying, something that he knew shouldn’t be said. Keigo settled for gently wrapping his hand around your head to pull you closer, filtering the harsh truth into something a little softer, the bittersweet tone marking the unspoken truth as a reality instead of the dreams of a future.

One… two… three…

“Don’t,” He muttered, heart tightening as he felt you go rigid in his arms, “I know. Please, God, I know—”

You slowly relaxed in his arms with all the bitter acceptance of a night before battle, and he murmured the next words into another ghost of a kiss. A whisper against your lips, seen only by the fading notes of a song in the moonlight.

“—but don’t.”

【 ☀︎ 】

Keigo’s breath was rattling, ears ringing with war cries, death wails, and everything in between. The once-blue noon sky was now a startling haze of ash gray, thick with the choking scent of the world burning.

He couldn’t even tell where the carnage started or ended anymore.

(Would it ever end?)

How long has it been since the first shot?

(Too long.)

Would he live to see the sunset?

(Of all times to worry about this, why now?)

The incessant drill of artillery fire was nothing new to him, as was the stench of the battlefield that could only be described as death. What was new, was something that pushed his aching body to keep moving, the autopilot state he usually entered backed with something raw. Something like fear.

Something like the will to survive.

The pain that set his nerves on fire has long since faded, all the pain of countless wounds blending together into something numbed by the adrenaline of survival. Were the wet patches on his uniform sweat? Blood? Both? He couldn’t tell anymore, all he knew was survival and the persistent voice whispering deadly distraction in the back of his mind.

Civilians. You’re fighting civilians, you mur—

The skin of his back prickled, the telltale whistling of something flying screeched in his ears, and his reflexes yanked him to dive out of the way before his mind could catch up. Not even a second later, another explosive detonated behind him and heat blazed across his back. His nerves screamed fresh pain into his senses and he grit his teeth, ignoring the concerning sound of sizzling over the ringing in his ears in favor of ducking into cover, collapsing against the wall of a destroyed building.

Since when did regular people know how to make bombs?!

In the next breath, someone else had ducked into the small shelter he’d found in this hellscape of a city.

Well, the remains of one. All hell broke loose once the other side brought homemade explosives into the fray and now, as he stared at the burning and destruction, Keigo wondered if those Westerners who muttered meaningless blessings whenever they passed were right.

If this “Hell” they spoke of really was on Earth.

He turned his head, suddenly sluggish, to the man that had joined him in the makeshift cover, and grinned at the familiar face.

“Hey, man.”

(Maybe giving his body a chance to slow down was a mistake.)

Touya ignored his exhausted greeting, instead opting to yank a rag from his pouch as he pulled Keigo to sit up so he could press the rag into the deep gashes the shrapnel had gouged into his back. Keigo immediately groaned in protest at the stinging pain, despite how necessary he knew it was.

“Fucking— how did you even survive that?”

“Dunno,” He let out a weak laugh, “Don’t think I will—”

“Finish that sentence and I’ll kill you myself.” Despite his harsh threat, Touya pressed the slowly darkening rag deeper into his wound. A desperate (futile) attempt to stop the life pooling onto the floor underneath them, steadily flowing from the deep gashes in his back and all the other wounds peppering his body.

“Isn’t that the exact opposite—” He hissed in pain at the pressure on his wounds, “—of what you want?”

“Shut up.”

“You know you don’t want me doing that.”

(He was right. Keigo running his mouth meant that he was breathing. Meant that he was alive.)

Touya pressed his lips into a thin line, Keigo blearily tracking the way his burn scars pulled with the movement.

Grounding himself, that’s what he’s supposed to do during times like this, right? Hell, he didn’t know. Not every day he came so close to death. Touya really needed to look into something for those sc—

“For the love of the gods, I am begging you to shut up.”

Ah, he said all that out loud? He managed to muster up a sheepish grin, despite Touya’s grim expression.

“Ooh, Touya? Begging? That’s a first, I should stay awake to hear it.” Keigo didn’t have to look to know that the rag was soaked through and Touya was fighting against the inevitable at this point. Keigo? He… he was too tired to fight to keep his eyes open. Too cold.

“Maybe you should stay awake to go home, loverboy.”

“I should.” He fumbled to find purchase, pressing his palm into the ground and scooting his feet closer for leverage. “Can’t leave Y/N waiting after all.”

Maybe it was the delirium from the blood-loss, or the desperation of this cursed situation, but Keigo tried to pull himself up. To move, to get somewhere safer, somewhere where he could survive. His palm slipped on the blood-slick floor underneath him and he came crashing down once more, his strength disappearing along with it as he slumped against Touya.

“Ah—”

“Shit, I’ll get you to the medic.”

Keigo groaned at the pain of his wounds being jostled as Touya tried to haul the deadweight of his sluggish body up. The reality of the situation weighed heavy on his shoulders (or was it his strength leaving him?) and he licked his chapped lips, whispering the grim truth into the ash-hazy air.

“I’m not gonna make it to the medic.”

“How many times do I have to keep telling you to shut up?” Another attempt to pull him to his feet, and Keigo managed to push out a weak laugh.

“Just a couple more times.”

“Hey… hey, c’mon now, I still have to make fun of you and Y/N for being the most disgusting couple I’ve ever met.” He carefully shook Keigo, trying desperately to get him to keep his drooping eyes open.

“Aw, don’t tease Y/N too badly.”

Something changed in Touya’s voice, a block in his throat that he had to force his words through, and he clutched the dripping rag closer to his wounds as he muttered out his response.

“I won’t.”

“Good, good,” Keigo’s hands clumsily fumbled for the cord wrapped over his chest, tugging at it until it came loose. “Hey, can you tell Y/N that I’ll do my best to come home? In any way I can.”

“...Just do it yourself.”

“Mm, that would… that would be nice. Coming home, I mean. I promised… Y/N… I would…”

His words faded, and Touya froze, arms suspended in midair around the slumped form of his best friend, his stunned gaze locked on the identification tag hanging from a limp, bloody hand.

“Kei...go?”

【 ☀︎ 】

Waiting was agony.

You used to think you were a patient person, years of dealing with drunks, horrible customers, and everything in between training the patience of a saint into you.

Today, however, revealed that you were anything but. The moment the company had crested the hill and out of sight, your anxieties slowly overcame you the farther they went. Working in the izakaya helped, the constant flow of customers and orders kept you on your feet and your thoughts off the battle that was no doubt waging mere miles away. Every so often, a wandering patron would come in murmuring that they heard bits and pieces of the battle, and you forced yourself to forget again.

All that effort was lost once the company’s runner came barreling through the town, shouting that the soldiers were on their way back. That they needed spaces cleared for the wounded and their lodgings secured. They called for the doctor, they called for food, they called for supplies.

If you didn’t know any better, it would’ve sounded like a cry for help.

Word spread like wildfire, and the rush of serving customers turned into the rush of trying to help prepare for the soldiers’ return. None of it helped get your mind off the one thing you didn’t want to worry about. If anything, it just shoved all your worries to the forefront of your mind, accompanied by the dull headaches of something you hoped were just random fantasies.

(Fantasies of a lotus garden, a guarded grin, a red hairpin, a betrayal—)

Would he have to be wrapped in the bandages you were carrying? Would he have to rest in the bedding in your hands? Would he be able to eat the food your grandmother was preparing?

Then, they came.

A slow straggle of wounded and weary men, leaning and limping on each other as they slowly trickled in through the main street.

There were many things that wouldn’t happen, you would later realize, watching the company trudge back into the town. Their formation was shaky from the hobbling wounded, and you felt your heart drop as you desperately searched the noticeably thinner crowd, trying to peek through the uniforms and bandages and dented helmets for any sign that he had come home. That he had survived.

How many men did they lose?

(Too many.)

You watched the flow of soldiers slowly follow their commander to their lodgings and the doctor, the once boisterous crowd now silent and battle-worn. The rookie that had just been under a chokehold the other night was now cradling bandaged wounds and a gaunt expression that only told of his first brushes with death.

One soldier broke from the crowd to make his way towards you, and—for a fleeting moment—you hoped.

And just as quickly as it came, that hope you had soon sunk into despair once you saw who it was, and what he held in his scarred hands.

Across the street, a man broke rank, with a heavier burden than most would’ve thought and few would ever experience. He hoped that no one would have to experience this, a death and the task of delivering such news weighing heavy on his shoulders.

Life, Touya thinks, is cruel.

It left such a brilliant mind like Keigo to starve with him on the streets.

It forced him to run to the military in desperation, searching for steady food and shelter.

It snatched away the one man who had salvation waiting for him.

Death, Touya grieves, is even crueler.

Keigo would never get to go home.

He wouldn’t get to see the joy on your face once you welcomed him home with open arms.

(How could he? When your expression twists into something akin to dawning horror instead of joy, watching Touya make his way up to you with downcast eyes and a heavy bundle of fabric carefully cradled in his palm.)

He wouldn’t get to start the new life he deserved, in a sleepy rural town with the one he adored.

He wouldn’t get to fulfill his promise to you.

A promise that everyone knew was too risky a promise to make. Yet, he believed enough to make it to you.

A promise that Touya holds back on his tongue because he knew this—a little metal disc on a bloodstained cord—wouldn’t fulfill it, not when he hands you the neat square of scrap fabric and watches your tears flow before you even open it. Not when you slip out a worn identification tag, holding it up to the sunset to try and make out the letters you already knew were there.

A lantern illuminates what the fading sunlight could not, casting the stamped characters of Keigo’s bloodied name in an amber glow, and you crumble.

【 ☀︎ 】

Dawn finds Professor Takami, Head of the Sociology Department, first through the doors of the campus café with essays to be finished grading in one hand and his laptop bag in the other.

The cashier greets him with a familiar warmth as he steps up to the counter, his staple order already halfway punched into the register with a knowing smile that he forces himself to return. There’s a nervous energy simmering under his skin that he can’t seem to shake, and it shows. The barista (Touya. His name is Touya. He literally has one of the guy’s essays in his hand, fucking hell. Get it together, Keigo) shoots the normally easygoing professor a worried look as he slides the warmed pastry across the counter to him, the full sleeves of swirling blue and black ink a stark contrast against the smooth wood of the counter.

“Everything good with you, Professor?”

“Perfect, now that I got my pastry. Think I’ll be even better once I drink some coffee.”

Nothing was perfect, and he couldn’t even put a finger on what it was.

He plastered a convincing smile on his face as he picked up the too-heavy plate, careful to hold it steady before making a beeline for his usual table. The faster he got to sit down at his usual corner booth and sort himself out, the better.

He knew that he would just drown himself in grading papers instead of figuring out what was making him feel off, but it was the thought that counted.

The hum of energy under his skin was nothing new to him. Something deep inside that made him almost jumpy, wary of the peaceful days that had consumed his entire life, lying in wait for… something. For what? Keigo wished he knew.

(For battles yet started, for warcries yet sung, for survival yet fought for.)

All he knew was that the strange hum that threatened to vibrate him out of his own skin was different this time. Wrong. It didn’t help that his sleep had been suffering for the past week, plagued by dreams and nightmares both of eras past, the blurry picture of the same person a constant sight in the swirling mix of history. Images flickering between a secluded lotus garden and an elaborate kimono to an old izakaya and Clair de Lune at moonrise. Images of yearning and blood and tragedy and endings before the beginnings.

At least his conversations with the once-intimidating Japanese Literature professor got a smidge more interesting.

With the resolute click of a red pen, he swept away the thoughts clouding his mind as he resigned himself to his fate of just dealing with the strange mood for now, fully intent on getting to work. Years of repetition and muscle memory had him opening up his email with practiced ease, quietly sighing to himself as he waited for the doubtlessly endless emails from students and colleagues alike to load.

Would procrastinating just the tiniest bit by fiddling with the rolled cuffs of his sleeves or pushing up his glasses for the nth time help at all?

No, but it let Keigo expel the weirdly restless energy in what ways he could, the creeping sense of foreboding setting his nerves into overdrive. The page loaded and he frowned at the onslaught of emails he knew were going to flood his inbox.

Hell, he expected them to.

What he didn’t expect were the contents, the subject lines all variations of “Did you know?” and “There’s no way” and “I can’t believe it” from colleagues he didn’t even talk to regularly. Sure, the email from the cultural anthropology professor made sense, but the graphic design professor? The head of the business department?

Before he could open the first email of many, his laptop chirped out the familiar ‘ding!’ of a new email, the sound rippling through the café as everyone’s phones and laptops lit up with the same message.

A schoolwide email? Okay, th—

The world slowed to a crawl, everyone in the packed coffee shop silencing almost at once and the shocked whispers rippling throughout the space only serving to make the silence all the more deafening (“Hey, check your email.” and “Look at this.” and “No way.” and it was too loud someone please make it stop—), his ears near ringing as he struggled to tear his gaze away from the picture embedded at the top of the page.

“Looking a little rough there.” The cotton suddenly stuffing his ears muffled the barista’s voice and would’ve made him jump out of his skin had he been focused on anything but burning the email into his eyes. God, he’d barely even registered the guy coming up to serve his coffee, what was wrong with him? “Professor? Was it that email?”

“Y-Yeah, I just read it.” He cleared his throat and slid the mug closer to himself, taking a sip of the scalding hot coffee to ground himself as he stared at the picture of you.

The barista merely arched a pierced brow and muttered a soft “ah.” before going back to his spot behind the espresso machine, vibrant blue eyes tracking the rattled professor suspiciously. Keigo was too preoccupied to thank him as he usually would’ve. Too preoccupied with what was staring back at him from his laptop screen.

A picture placed right under the subject line plastering “Unfortunate news about Prof. L/N Y/N” across his screen, the few words in the body text (that he could pick out through the sudden tidal wave of memories past clicking into place) painted an image that he couldn’t help but mourn.

After being reported missing… remains found… will be missed.

Will be missed…

Well, now that he thought about it, Keigo had been missing you all his life, hadn’t he?

Both figuratively and literally, always arriving after you left and vice versa, never really seeming to connect in person. Any emails were shrouded with a veil of professionalism that he couldn’t pierce through. Yet, there were things so irrevocably you that he knew to pick out now. The jovial note at the end of your emails, the unapologetically confident sharpness to your words, the extra mug you left for the next person that passed through the faculty lounge (that somehow always ended up being him on the days he was rushing to his next lecture).

All these things, all these moments, and the fool had passed all of them by.

The restless energy humming under his skin through his entire being disappeared much quicker than it had come, its job done, leaving a gaping void in its wake that was shockingly familiar. Almost as if this wasn’t the first time this had happened, where the curtains never raised on the beginning you two could’ve had. He took a shuddering, stabilizing breath (that didn’t work), too numb to feel the freshly brewed coffee scalding his tongue that he had hoped would pull him back to reality, hoped the sweet taste would wash away the bitterness at the back of his throat and the splitting headache of years upon years of memories crashing into him like a tidal wave.

Professor Takami had work to get done.

Keigo could mourn later.

Even as he convinced himself of that, he couldn’t even bring himself to brush the dead lotus petals off his work, the sight of the wilted centerpiece only bringing more pain. The cruel coincidence of the once bloomed flowers now dead in his hands didn’t go unnoticed, and Keigo desperately tried to bore the printed words laid in front of him into his mind.

As if doing that would sear away the sudden onslaught of memories, dead lotus petals igniting a yearning for a long-demolished lotus garden and a pretty concubine who didn’t belong in the palace (or was it a small town and the life he could’ve had?) and the love that slipped through his fingers once more.

Did you go through this too? When he—

The half-graded essays lay untouched for the rest of the day, red ink disappearing in the crimson light cast by the setting sun.

【 ☀︎ 】

When did I…?

He blinked down at the concrete under his feet, stunned, before looking up to see an endless sea of trains passing in front of him. The incessant rushing of the trains around him had replaced the silence of the hotel room he was supposed to be sound asleep in, the too-rhythmic noise of the train tracks surrounding him in an almost ethereal white noise.

I had just gone to bed… How did I end up at a train station?

He winced at the glare of the midday sun reflecting off of the last car of the train passing in front of him, before stopping short at the sight of someone standing on the other side of the tracks—alone—revealed by the passing train. His heart leapt into his throat and pushed a name he didn’t know and wouldn’t remember out of his lips. There was no way he knew her, the multi-layered kimono and elegant hairpins looked like something out of a millenia-old ukiyo-e print and wholly out of place in a modern train station. But... something deep in his soul knew that it was right, and it sang as he watched the woman turn around.

“You’re dreaming right now, Keigo. Go back to sleep,”

“What…?”

“It’s true,” The woman tilted her head with the soft smile that he’d missed so much (missed? Wasn’t this his first time seeing it?) and the ancient hairpieces jingled and swayed with the movement, his gaze locking on a familiar crimson gemstone catching the sunlight, “Don’t believe me? Try to count some numbers, then. One… two…”

Another train hurtled past, blocking his view once more as her painted lips moved soundlessly around the final number.

“Three.”

Keigo sat up with a gasp, staring at the soft shafts of light the sunrise painted on the walls.

It was the start of a new day, and he found himself mourning something lost that he couldn’t even remember.

Dawn finds Hawks, the number two hero, leaping out of his Tokyo hotel window, wind catching on vermilion wings to buffer his descent to the sidewalk.

He was far from home, his current mission dragging him all the way to Tokyo from his agency in Fukuoka. Sneakers touched concrete, and he started down the path where he was supposed to meet with the last person he wanted to see right now. Especially after that mess with the High-End Nomu. He shuddered, spreading his wings as if to remind himself that they were all there, recovered after that hellish fight.

Come to the location on foot, he’d been told, and don’t be conspicuous.

Weird request, and it was kind of hard to remain inconspicuous when he was the number two hero and had a pair of bright red wings announcing his identity to the world. Alas, he needed to cooperate or else he’d end up jeopardizing the entire mission, so Keigo settled for ditching his hero costume in favor of casual clothes and a cap to hide his identity. He pulled a mask over his nose and tucked his wings closer to further help conceal himself as he walked down the street, dipping into the first alley he saw.

His path through the grid of alleyways and side streets had already been mapped out the days before, so it was just a matter of making the short trek there. Unfortunately, the area wasn’t the best, and Keigo found himself slowed by sidestepping trash and the occasional bottle of liquor. The scent of stale alcohol only brought unpleasant fragments of memories, and he pushed them aside in favor of quickening his pace.

“My, not every day I see such a bigshot hero pass by.”

He almost tripped over another bottle, wings ruffling in surprise as he cursed himself for being caught off guard.

There was an old woman sitting there, a steaming cup of tea in her hands as she sat outside her quaint little storefront.

A flower shop, in this secluded side street?

“Ah, sorry, ma’am, you have the wrong person. I mean, me? The number 2 pro hero?” He was quick to deny her, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. She merely hummed and took another sip of her tea.

“Do I? Well, this old woman’s eyes aren’t what they used to be after all.” She set down the cup and stepped out of her chair, shuffling over to the water feature on the other side of the doorway that served as an attraction. He could see why, the soft rush of the small waterfall and fragrant lotuses drawing his attention the more he stared.

Suddenly, the woman plucked one of the younger lotuses, patting the stem dry before handing it to him with a smile.

“Uh—”

“You saved my son that day, from the Nomu attack in Fukuoka. This is the least I could do.”

Against his better judgement—he really needed to get going to catch the train in time—he took the half-bloomed lotus in his hands and pulled down his mask to smile at her.

“Your eyes are… actually pretty sharp, ma’am. Thank you.”

She laughed, sitting back in her seat and sent him on his way. The rest of the walk went smoothly after that, and he soon found himself jogging up the stairs to the station, muttering under his breath as he checked his watch.

Right on time.

【 ☀︎ 】

A strange sense of deja vu creeped into his chest as he stepped onto the platform in Minami-senju station. He’d been feeling off all day, and the weird sense of familiarity that had been tugging at the back of his mind didn’t help. Luckily, he’d managed to arrive in time to catch the noon train so the rest of his schedule should hopefully go smoothly from here. A departing train screeched into motion, and he winced at the rippling glare of sunlight that reflected into his eyes, the strange deja vu rearing its head again.

Keigo stared at the train passing in front of him as he idly twirled the lotus stem in between his fingers. The words left his lips before he could catch himself.

“One… two…” He cut himself off with a sigh, dropping his head and dragging a hand over his face.

It was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous.

Keigo.

His head shot up at the sound of his name, the world darkening under the shade of a passing cloud. Did he just imagine that? He had to. The train station was practically stranded, and there was no one even close enough to call his name without shouting across the station (if they even knew his name in the first place). Despite his better judgement, he wet his lips and shut his eyes, the strangely familiar words passing his lips once more as he desperately tried to recall the familiarity he longed for.

“One…”

I want to see you.

“Two…”

I don’t even know who you are, but I miss you anyway.

“Three—”

Suddenly, the steady rhythm of the train tracks silenced and left him with the raging drum of his heartbeat, the blood rushing in his ears as he stared at the person standing on the other side of the tracks. The emerging sun smiled upon him, casting the world in light once more as his voice locked around a familiar name he’d never spoken.

It started as a hushed whisper, and he swallowed the lump in his throat to call the name thrice ingrained into his soul.

“Y/N!”

The familiar smile that bloomed across your lips was answer enough as he pushed through the newly arrived train to the other side, to you. He reached out, clawing through the rush hour crowd (why were there so many people? Why were you so far? Closer, closer, closer—) and he nearly sobbed in relief as you fell into his arms, clinging to each other as your souls finally, finally, melded together as one. Now and forevermore.

The questions could come later, but now... he had a promise to fulfill.

He was home.

notes: minami-senju train station is located in very close proximity (a two-minute walk) from what is left of the kozukappara execution grounds, where a temple now stands in its place. he’s made quite the journey to come full circle, hasn’t he?

#takami keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #keigo x reader #hawks x reader #bnha oneshot #hawks x reader angst #mha oneshot #bnha reader insert #mha reader insert #reincarnation au #from the typewriter #pocuties #cw death #tw death #cw blood #tw blood #cw war #tw war #if you'd like me to add a warning please let me know!

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