#i did my rambling in the post so i have nothing to say here (´･ω･`)

[tadpolebobatea]

Happy Tatiana anime day!

Tatiana and billy are my very favourite father and child thing, they’re very important to me. They are so very dear to my heart and Tatiana is the sweetest kid to ever kid.

If you recognise the pose that would be because it’s a redraw of that adorable panel from chapter 122 (and the outfits are from that pair popularity poll from chapter 108)

Break since it’s a little spoilery

Words can’t express how much i love this panel. Love all Tatianas plasters to show she’s been interacting with the world. It’s so sweet.

I only have the cropped version of this one, apologies. It is very cute though (i did find out yesterday that billy and tella got 14th on this poll. Which made me very happy)

[idolapollo]

Dedicated DEV LOG #1

hey!! it's apollo/nyarl!! this'll be a first in a series of posts that are basically indie game development logs filled with a shit ton of rambling

i'll maybe try and post these monthly or bi-monthly, but it's mostly for me to motivate myself to make progress to have something to show off and to archive the process of making a game!

this month's dev log is dedicated to—well—"Dedicated To..."

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(i may keep saying this for future projects and games so bear with me) "Dedicated To..." (abbreviated as DT from now on) originally was an idea i had in middle school!

it was really edgy tho and i'd honestly kms if it ever got leaked to the public but it was essentially an angst piece for when i was discovering my own sexuality as a gay cis man

staying somewhat true to its gay angst origins, this game is a story based psychological horror rpg maker game! maybe you can add it's a story based gay psychological horror rpg maker game lmao

it won't be a long game, and it'll have 4 routes determined by one early game choice and 5 endings!! the 5th one is considered a secret dont tell anyone

i did change the protagonist's name and design bc it was literally just a self insert for me lmao even had clothes i often wore fucking lame

BUT ANYWAYS!!!!! you'll play as tybalt, a college student majoring in english literature or something as he struggles to create a fairy tale as his capstone (don't think about it too much)

here's a preview of his full art and draft of his portrait as thanks for listening to me ramble so far i will continue to ramble!! (i have yet to turn it into pixel art and plan different expressions)

i really wanted to make a gay character with these kinda cat eyes whatever you call em lol

and the man he'll be pinning for is reyn!! i didnt give him a major bc it doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things!!! he's probably a finance major!!!!

also idk why i named him reyn, it was something i kept from the original middle school stories

ig it was because i was watching chugga's lets play of xenoblade lmao

i've taken some time with working with rpg maker mz before since i had the chance to use it in a game dev class (after splurging most of my financial aid on plugins lmao), but unless i can figure out javascript on my own and break the engine, i'll be focusing on using rpg maker vx ace since it has more plugins!

for now, i'm still focusing on the story and full body character art before diving into programming and learning how to make pixel art _(:3」∠)_

btw i forgot to mention that part. yeah i'm an absolute newbie when it comes to pixel art so i have to learn that too cries

even though i'm making it in rpg maker vx ace, i'm aiming to recreate the feel of rpg maker 2000/2003 because i was SUUUUUUPER inspired by end roll, okegom's games, and specifically for this game charon's works!! so now i gotta bust out the pixels

there will be 4 routes with 5 endings! there was another route + ending but i scrapped it because i only had an idea of the ending (more on that in the future) and nothing else lol

so far i've drafted 3 of the 4 routes! even though there is no canon ending, the 4th one is the one that has the 5th ending and can branch off into other works (once again more on that in the future lmao)

i'm starting to write the dialogue for the 1st route and it's going okay!! tbh i wish i worked on it more over summer break while my college classes aren't gonna kill my ass and classes start next week (´；ω；`)

but i spent a majority of summer break testing out medication for my adhd, and i still am!! it was a really rough process and i'm glad i didn't go through mania-like symptoms while classes were going on _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

i'm better now tho and i say i'm at a semi good spot!! now time to treat my horrid anxiety lol

i'll end it here for now before it gets too long!! sorry and thanks to listening to me ramble! i'll leave you with a snippet of the intro!

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[wackybuddiemewbs]

Um. Eddie DID ghost Buck. Buck even uses that exact word when he calls Eddie out about it. After the lawsuit, when Buck returns to work, Eddie refuses to speak to him. He barely looks at him. When he does say anything, he's rude, he's snappish. And THAT is because Eddie is a selfish sonofabitch. He didn't really care about what Buck was going through, kept telling everyone else that in his opinion Buck was throwing a self-pity party, and he was ONLY pissed because he couldn't use Buck as a babysitter or sounding board or for bail money. What show are y'all even fucking watching?

Hi,

I watch 911 on Fox, cool show this. Thanks for asking!

♪(´▽｀)

Just from the get-go, I'm really not in the fandom to get involved in arguments of that kind. I neither have the energy nor the nerve for it, really. And I guess I'm actually already too fandom-old for it.

o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

If that's your reading of it, though, that's your reading of it. So really, no reason to get upset, anon. It's all cool. I don't judge. That's how fandom is supposed to work. You have your interpretation, I have mine. And isn't that actually really great?

o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

It appears to me like you don't enjoy Eddie's character very much (which again, is fine, people like the characters they like). So my suggestion to you would be to ignore or block tags and accounts that make you this upset, judging by your ask. I can't imagine that this sparks a lot of joy.

(* ￣︿￣)

Just so that you know, I'm a fan of Buck and Eddie and their relationship, so looking at my posts will likely not serve your interests very much, I'm afraid. My reading differs very much from yours, judging by your ask, so I'm not exactly sure what you seek to find either in my posts or in my replies that may satisfy that need you have. In which case, feel free to block me. Fandom's supposed to be fun after all.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Also, just FYI, the post you're referring to was certainly not intended as some deep-reaching meta. I'm a casual watcher who adores those two firefighters and bisasters at work, that's no secret. I just ramble on, so people shouldn't expect me to do serious literary analysis, for it is neither my intention nor purpose. I had enough of that at uni. I just ship'em. Hard.

(❤ ω ❤)

Now, in reply to what you're saying (since you asked and I like to ramble), here's my two cents:

Granted, there might be a point to be made about Eddie keeping his distance, following the lawsuit. So my interpretation in that post on him not ever ghosting Buck in any capacity may have been a bit exaggerated or oversimplified. But again, I was not doing serious analysis.

(〜￣▽￣)〜

Though I will have to point out that just because Buck says he feels ghosted, doesn't mean he was ghosted the same way Abby's done it, for instance. It is his interpretation and his feelings that he voices to Eddie. Those are not absolute truths, that's simply his truth.

There was undoubtedly a rift between them after the lawsuit, but considering how it really didn't take them that long to move on from it (argument and resolution, if I remember correctly, are wrapped up in the course of one episode), it wasn't that big after all. Or rather, their mutual care and love quickly overruled any of those negative emotions.

In that same vain, I think the true tragedy of this situation between the two lies in the very fact that they are upset that the other's ghosting them in some shape or form. The lawsuit prevented Buck from talking to Eddie, though he would have needed his friend in those troubling times. And Buck needed Eddie just as much. They are afraid of being ghosted and somehow end up ghosting the other, for a multitude of reasons. But the main takeaway remains that they eventually find their way back together and literally embrace.

〜(^_^)d♥♥♥b(^_^)〜

However, I very much disagree with the notion of Eddie being selfish (or the words that you used to that effect). There's really nothing in his character that indicates that, in my opinion. To give just one example, Eddie showed up when Buck was feeling down (see wake up call scene). He didn't need Buck as a babysitter. Eddie figured Buck was feeling alone, so he made sure he wasn't (you know, ghosted), by making him babysit. Because Christopher would keep him company and Buck genuinely likes spending time with Christopher. Because he loves that boy. And Eddie knows that. He entrusts his son into his friend's care, before and after the tsunami. Are those the acts of a selfish person? Methinks not.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

On a similar note, Eddie found himself in a very troubling situation, too. It wasn't just Buck who was going through a rough time. His wife died in an accident, he had to tell his son who'd just gotten her back that she's gone forever now. Christopher was having nightmares after the tsunami and Eddie felt helpless in providing his son with what he needs (something he's vowed to himself to do). He was grieving and facing some of his insecurities later voiced by him about how he wasn't enough (very similar to Buck, parallels much, by the way).

So could he have come at it a little differently (at the grocery store, being rather distant upon Buck's return)? In an ideal world, sure. But in an ideal world, Buck and Bobby never would have had that kind of fallout to begin with either, because they would have discussed these things. There wouldn't have been a lawsuit. In an ideal world, Buck would have come at it differently, too.

But the characters are all human and are depicted as such. Because it is no perfect world they live in. They fail at communication. They snap, they shout, they see no other way but to file a lawsuit to no longer be alone, no matter the costs, they stay silent, maybe because they don't want to lose control again, you know? Like, make of the lawsuit arc what you will, it does a good job at showing how a lack of communication or miscommunication can have dire consequences.

So sure, it can be said that Buck felt like Eddie was ghosting him in some capacity, following his return after the lawsuit. But I just keep thinking about those what ifs, and if Buck had found himself in a tough spot for some reason, whatever shape or form, even if the two had still been at odds, there's really no doubt in my mind that Eddie would have been there. Because he cares and loves Buck.

Now, that's nothing you can prove, really. For that, we got fanfiction. It is my reading of the scenes. However, given the fact that Eddie was quick to forgive him for the lawsuit and was actually much more upset about not having been able to talk to Buck, spend time with Buck, be with Buck, tells the story of a man who was desperate to have his partner back.

And oh, oh, doesn't that sound familiar when it comes to Buck?

The point being, my reading of most of this argument is that we see two different reactions to the same deeply felt need and desire for that other person to be there, both fuelled by insecurities, grief, and a great deal of poor communication.

To me, it doesn't show bad guys and good guys, it shows people trying their best and failing, it shows people struggling with their own hardships, their own emotions and insecurities, sometimes blinding them to what's going on around them, it shows how radio silence is never the solution, and how, in the end, what they really need is each other. Which, in itself, is a beautiful message, if anyone asked me.

ಥ_ಥ

And I guess that at this point, I have bored half the fandom to death with this overlong rambling, which is why I will stop now.

I hope you find what you're seeking in fandom, anon!

Cheers!

[yujachachacha]

Status Update: SD/LA DV!

Sorry about the relative inactivity. I know I said that I would make a post addressing the 2nd Live satrips, and I honestly planned to yesterday (along with several other asks sitting in my inbox). However, my mom got sick (don’t worry, it was nothing serious), so between taking care of things at home and frantically packing for the delayed viewings, I ended up not having enough time to sit down and write.

I did, however, manage to post a very belated DV guide earlier. Feel free to check out the resources I linked there.

But enough about the past - mirai ni mukatte!  ( ・∀・ )ゞ 

I’ll be going to the delayed viewings for both San Diego and Los Angeles, at 11am and 8pm respectively! If all goes to plan, I’ll show up ~2 hours before the 11am showing at Angelika Carmel Mountain to help pass out callbooks with Team ONIBE. After the SD DV, the team will grab a quick bite to eat before driving on up to LA to pass out callbooks again before the evening show. Hopefully, I won’t die of exhaustion by the end of the day. _(:3 」∠)_

If you want to find me and say hi, here are some identifying features:

Short Korean girl with long black hair, possibly tied into a ponytail (...this is probably not very helpful lol)

Blue baseball cap (might not decide to wear it though)

Either a white Team ONIBE shirt or light blue Shukashuu shirt (I’ll decide when I wake up later :3c)

Carrying a small OmoHito You neso

Blue-and-gold sneakers (the ones I’m wearing in this pic)

Small black backpack

Probably standing with a group of dudes who look like hardcore LLers (the other members of ONIBE, haha)

Bonus if you find me: I’ll probably offer you candy or cough drops~

...and yes, I know taking candy from strangers is bad, but I promise I only have good intentions. :’)

I haven’t decided if I’m gonna commit to it, but I might go on my Twitter account to ramble about the DV before/afterwards. I probably won’t be too active on Tumblr until Sunday night at the earliest since my schedule’s pretty packed until then - considering how tired I’ll be, Monday or even Tuesday might be a safer bet, haha.

Lastly, to everyone going to a DV: have fun, but don’t forget to be respectful of others at the venue! ٩(๑˃̵ω˂̵)╯♡╰(´▽｀*)۶