#i did it today it was great

[spurgie-cousin]

therapy is so funny, you spend an hour talking about your deepest darkest inner thoughts, feelings, and worst times of your life, and then you have to like. go to the post office

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[hansoeii]

need some help with that?

[blakbonnet]

as an indian person, my favourite thing is seeing what people who aren't from here have done with my food; i'll go to an indian restaurant in a random corner of the world and they're putting oregano in their palak paneer or a balsamic wash on their naan and it's like "yes good tell me how you folded your culture into mine and came out with something new and lovely, we're holding hands across oceans bestie"

[cowardlycowboys]

I could never do no nut november because unfortunately I love fucking myself too much

[ryllen]

ᕙ(‾̀◡‾́)ᕗ

[claypigeonpottery]

very pleased with this one

[nebulous-rain]

was this entirely an excuse to figure out how parent hierarchy works on toonsquid? yes

[falseflea]

sometimes you just have to give some guys you like warrior cats designs

[identifying-cars-in-posts]

I GOT A NEW CAR

Everybody meet the new baby that i will never shut up about forever!

This is Clifford the Third, my new 1996 Nissan Pickup!! I probably paid too much for her but given that I live in Massachusetts and she has virtually no rust I’m okay with that lol.

So a brief history of the Nissan Pickup! These trucks were released in the US in 1985 and were sold through 1997, when they were replaced with the Frontier. They were the successor to the beloved Datsun 720, which had been in production since 1979. They are in fact just called the Pickup! They’re colloquially known as the D21 - their chassis code, and the Hardbody, because of the double walled durable construction of the trucks’ bed.

The D21 was available with a couple different engines and drivetrain layouts. Mine is a 4x4 with the KA24 motor (which it shared with the 240SX/Silvia). She’s also a King Cab, meaning she has a slightly elongated wheelbase to allow for two small inwards facing jump seats in the back of the cab. Still a two door though.

AND SHE’S A STICK! She has a 5-speed manual transmission, and it’s the best transmission i’ve ever personally had in a car. She’s my third manual, the other two being a 1999 Toyota Corolla and a 2004 Subaru WRX, both of which were great but the Corolla had a really sloppy gearbox that felt incredibly vague at times, whereas the WRX had a sportier transmission that was pretty unforgiving and stiff. This one is definitive about where each gear is, but also won’t get too jerky or loud if you shift a little early or late.

Nissan Hardbody trucks are known and loved for their durability, versatility, and simplicity. They’re super bare bones but what they do have is built remarkably well and meant to withstand lots of abuse. If they don’t rust and have basic maintenance kept up it’s not uncommon for them to go 300k+ miles with minimal issues. Mine has around 184k miles, high but manageable. She also has a few modifications from the previous owner, namely a straight piped exhaust (no muffler, just one big long aluminum tube), aftermarket bumpers and lights, locking hubs, and a small lift. The guy i bought it from had plans to make it an off-roader but had too many projects and needed to offload one to make space in his driveway.

While many people either take these off-roading or turn them into drift trucks, my plan is to bring her back to mostly stock. I’m in the process of tracking down OEM bumpers and a more typical cat-back (from the catalytic converter back) exhaust system so she’s a little less obnoxiously loud. Since i mostly just need reliable transport more than a toy and she is now my sole car, I want to just make her relatively normal. But I love her a lot and am happy to be able to share!

[essektheylyss]

I simply think they should be allowed to do whatever they want 😌

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Rip & Tear!

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[llamaisllama777]

TSAMS, EAPS EPISODE REVIEW! 👏 👏 👏

... I didn't know who MUCH I needed this piece of art in my life till now! Kiwi THANK YOU FOR DRAWING THIS! This is gonna be my banner for a bit. Okay, onto the actual review. We finally got some Sun and Solar bonding moments, and I'm happy about that. I noticed a lot of people mentioned that Sun and Solar didn't really hang out a lot, and I thought "No they have to have hanged out like this before?" Well, color me surprised they didn't really hang out a lot. So, I'm glad we got an episode with just them bonding. Jack has become a stinkin' criminal. He stole a bugatti! Do you know how expensive that car is?! (Seriously, do you cause I don't.) Solar, you might want to do some reprogramming or teach Jack morals cause at this rate he'll steal the declaration of Independence! Move over, Nick Cage!

Solar is still wrapping his head around the new moon/Nexus situation, and I don't blame him. Imagine waking up from being dead only to discover your best friend/brother/cousin has become dangerously unstable and tried to kill one of your family members. Ya, you'd need a few days to process all that, too. But I'm glad Solar has Sun and the others to lean on. I am still very worried about what will happen when Solar and Nexus meet again. Pray for him y'all.

First gaming video of the Eclipse and Puppet show! Yay! 👏 👏 👏 👏 @damien-candle did an amazing job on everyone. I love how they draw Foxy with his little scruff, and Earth just looks adorable as always. Okay, now, spoiler alert in 3..2..1

Foxy loses... as usual.

That's not much of a surprise, but what is a surprise is EARTH IS HERE! She popped by for a visit. I hope we get an episode where she explores this universe with Eclipse and Puppet. That would be fun. Eclipse is surprisingly good at Game of life. Maybe it's just luck, but my headcanon us he's just a master of all board games!

Amazing episodes today from everyone! 👏 👏

11/10 👏

I need more Marvel x TSBS art in my life.

[thevoicefromthestars]

[jaarijani]

✨CUTE✨

[doctorsiren]

hands