#i did do a lot of world building while drawing him

[kivyvimes]

I was thinking about the fantasy ending and then I lost my mind. Anyway he is my favorite

[formula-nyoom]

I'm Proud of You

Pairing: Platonic!Grid x Fem!Driver!Reader

Summary: Being the youngest and newest driver to the grid is not an easy adjustment to make and it ends up taking a toll on you. Thankfully some of the other drivers on the grid are there to look out for you.

A/N: Was going to wait till Saturday to post this, but I had a shit day today so I decided to post it now. Hope you enjoy!

~~~

No one really knew what Mercedes was thinking when they announced that they were signing you, an F2 rookie who placed 6th in the Formula 2 Championship, as the one to take the 2nd Mercedes seat. Everyone expected you to be named a reserve driver, so that you could prepare for the jump to F1. Yet here you were, jumping straight into the deep end. Even after you heard the news that you would be racing in Formula One, you were left more with shock and confusion rather than excitement. 

Sure, you had done a couple of test drives for Mercedes and had participated in an F1 practice session or two, but you didn’t think that was enough to put you in contention for a Formula One seat. 

But the media thought otherwise, and so did Mercedes. 

Both your friends and family tried to reassure you that you were good enough to race in Formula One, and you had seen countless interviews of Toto Wolf saying that he had made the right decision in signing you.

But none of that could take away the fact that all eyes were now on you. 

The first female to race in Formula One, and now the youngest on the grid.

The season hadn’t even started and yet you felt like Atlas holding the world weight of pressure that was placed upon your shoulders. You now have something to prove. And everyone was waiting for you to either fly or fall.

Maybe that’s why you couldn’t find the courage to cross the turnstile that led into the paddock during the first race weekend of the season. Crossing over would make everything real. And you would be doing it alone, as both your family and your manager weren't able to get to the track till later in the day. 

“Did you forget your badge on the first day?” A voice said from behind you. You turned to see Charles and Pierre.

 “You can just jump over the gate. Yuki does it all the time.” Pierre said. 

 “No, I have my badge…I’m just nervous to enter the paddock.” You said, motioning with your head to the turnstiles.

 “What makes you so nervous?” Charles asked.

“There’s a lot of people. And cameras. And people with cameras. I feel like I’m gonna get swarmed as soon as my foot crosses the entrance.” You said.

 “You’re not wrong. The media doesn’t really know the definition of personal space.” Charles said, taking a sip of his coffee. “If you want, I can act as a buffer and draw the attention away while Pierre helps you get past.”

 “Would that work? I just want to get to the Mercedes hospitality.”

“Oh trust me, the media loves Charles. They’ll be too focused on getting pictures of him to see us walk by.” Pierre said. You looked back at the people past the entrance and there seemed to be more than when you last looked. 

 “Well…if you’re sure it will work then we might as well try.” You said. Charles smiled and gave you a nod. He then took the sunglasses that were hanging on his hat and put them on before entering the paddock. Immediately, the people that had cameras flocked to Charles and started to take his picture as he tried to walk through the paddock. You and Pierre waited a couple moments to build enough distance between you and Charles before the two of you entered the paddock. You clutched the straps of your bag tightly, expecting the nearby paparazzi to turn around and immediately start taking pictures of you and Pierre, but they were too focused on Charles.  

Pierre’s hand hovered over your shoulder as he tried to block you from most of the cameras while guiding you through the paddock. While the two of you managed to pass Charles without getting noticed, you couldn’t help but feel a bit claustrophobic, seeing Charles surrounded by so many people trying to take his picture. Eventually, you and Pierre managed to make it to the Mercedes hospitality building.

“Is it always going to be like this?” You asked Pierre.

 “Unfortunately, yes. Especially since you’re the newest on the grid. I recommend you invest in a good pair of sunglasses. But I’m proud of you for getting past your first swarm of paparazzi.” Pierre said, ruffling your hair. You laughed and swatted his hand away as Charles walked up to the two of you.

 “Whew! Thank god Lewis walked in. I felt like those reporters and paparazzi would never leave.” Charles said.

 “Sorry for making you go through that.” You said, feeling a bit guilty. 

“Pas de soucis. I’m used to it and know how to handle them. Though I will advise that you never enter the paddock by yourself. The reporters are like vultures.” Charles said. “Anyway, we will see you at the press conference, no?”

 “Yep. I’ll see you there.” You said. Charles patted your shoulder before him and Pierre headed to their own team's hospitality. 

~~~

You were beginning to hate the press conferences that you had to go to. Any question that was directed towards you involved your performance on track, or lack thereof as some reporters like to put it. You were getting tired of having to answer questions that made you feel like a failure.

“This question is for (Y/N). We’re now five races into the season and you’ve been continuously out qualified and out placed by your teammate, George? Is there a certain struggle that you’re having with the car that may be the cause of this?”

If you could walk away from this question, you would. But instead you stayed in your seat and picked up the microphone next to you. Damn Mercedes PR training.

 “There’s still some learning with the car. The engineers have said that the car isn’t up to the standards they want it to be, so I am struggling a bit on track.” You said, giving your best PR approved answer that you could manage.

“But would it be safe to say that you are under performing at Mercedes in comparison to your teammate?” The reporter asked. You tried to steal your expression and act like the comment didn’t bother you.

 “What kind of question is that?” It wasn’t you that asked it, but Lando, who was sitting to your right. You looked at him with some confusion. So did the reporter.

“Is there something you would like to add, Lando?”

“Yea. You can’t say she’s underperforming when she’s a rookie that has only completed five races.” Lando said, an upset expression clear on his face. The reporter cleared his throat.

 “I’m just saying, some have doubts that Mercedes were too hasty in signing an F2 rookie and I wanted to know if that was being reflected in (Y/N)’s driving.” The reporter said, trying to control the situation

 “I think we already know your opinion on Mercedes' decision based on the questions you ask.” Carlos said, who was sitting next to Lando. “I agree with Lando that it’s unfair to judge (Y/N) based on her first five races.”

 “I’d say she’s actually doing pretty good for a rookie, considering she’s been able to score points in two out of the 5 races she’s done so far.” Lando said.

 “Much more than you have ever done.” Carlos said to the reporter. You tried to hide the smile that was slowly forming on your face but inevitably failed as you picked your microphone back up.

“To my two fellow drivers points, I think you’re discounting me too early. I will admit that there is still a learning curve and with the continuous upgrades that Mercedes keeps bringing to the car, I am constantly having to adjust to all the new additions while also trying to get used to driving a Formula One car every other weekend.” You said, making direct eye contact with the reporter. “But I will eventually get used to the car. And when I do, I think I will be able to match George and possibly start out qualifying.”

That seemed to silence the reporter, as he sat back down. It also seemed to signify the end of the press conference as reporters started to pack their things and you and the other drivers sitting on the couch with you got up and left the room.

“Mate, I’m so proud of you and how you handled that reporter.” Lando said once you were out of the room. He placed his hand on your shoulder and pulled you into a side hug.

 “I was ready to walk out of the press conference when I heard that question. Why do these reporters always have to compare me to George?”

 “Because that's what they do. All of us get compared to our teammates because our teammates are seen as our biggest competition.” Carlos said. “You’re gonna get it more because you’re new.”

“Just remember that you can refuse to answer any questions that make you uncomfortable.” Lando said. 

 “Even the sexist ones?” You asked. Carlos and Lando nodded their heads.

“Especially the sexist ones.” Carlos said.

 “Better yet, I’ll answer them for you in the most ridiculous manner so that way they’ll stop asking you questions like that.” Lando said, making you laugh.

~~~

So many more races. Too many races. How does a Formula One driver get through all these races and have a chance to calm down? You were used to things going fast, but lately you just wanted a chance to slow down and breathe. 

That’s how you found yourself sitting on the floor in an empty VIP room, looking out the window at a mostly empty racetrack. Phone in hand. Staring at the clock that displayed the timezone back at home.

2:00AM. Your parents are definitely asleep right now. It’s not a good time to call them, no matter how much you want to. 

You were so focused on staring at your phone, you didn’t notice that Max had walked in.

“Sadly I don’t think drivers count as VIPs at the races they have to participate in.” Max said as he sat down next to you, a Redbull in his hand.

 “It’s the only place that I can find privacy and some peace and quiet.” You said still staring at your phone.

2:01AM.

You turned your phone off and let out a sigh, placing it down next to you.

 “Something the matter?” Max asked. You hesitated. You didn’t want to burden a 3-time World Champion with your upset thoughts, that was for your non-existent therapist. But then again, maybe talking to someone who has been in your position before may make you feel a bit better.

“I haven’t found a good time to call my parents since the start of the season.” You said. “They were able to make it to my first race, which was amazing. I was really glad they could come…but with so many races on the calendar, it’s hard for them to come to all of them, and all the changing time zones makes it hard to find a good time to call them.” You told him. “I miss talking to them.”

Max looked at you, took in how you were hugging your knees. Max sometimes forgets that you're now the youngest driver on the grid. On the track he sees you as competition, but now he sees you as the overwhelmed rookie that you looked like right now.

“I understand what you're feeling. It does get overwhelming a lot of times.” He said. You turned to him.

 “How do you deal with it?”

“No matter what country we are in, I try to find a day or time where I can get the farthest away from being a race car driver. A spot that’s farthest away from the track where I’m not “Max Verstappen, The Red Bull Driver”, but just “Max”.” He said.

 “Don’t you get recognized wherever you go?” You asked

“Absolutely. But being away from the track, even for an hour, makes me less overwhelmed. And in regards to wanting to talk to your parents, yes finding a time to communicate is hard, but sometimes you just have to throw timezones out the window and call your parents. Even if you can only talk to them for five minutes, it’s still five minutes that you get to talk to them.” Max explained. 

You thought about what Max said. It would make you feel a bit guilty, waking your parents up in the middle of the night just because you wanted to talk to them. But at the same time, sometimes they’re the only people that could make you feel better. You looked back down at your phone.

2:05 AM

You’d be ok with just five minutes.

 “I think I’m gonna call my parents.” You said to Max. He smiled and gave you a nod before standing up.

 “I’ll let you have your privacy. But my driver’s room is open if you want to talk about anything except racing.” Max said before leaving the room. You smiled at him before calling your parents.

~~~

Finally you had finished a race with what you thought was a good race result. P6 was your highest placement so far this season and it was something you should be proud of. But even if you thought it was a good result, you knew that people were going to comment that George had gotten P4, placing ahead of you again. To you, it felt like no matter how high you climbed up the grid, if George finished in front of you, your result wasn’t something to be proud of. 

You were knocked out of your thoughts by someone bumping your shoulder. It was Oscar walking alongside you. The fact that he was looking directly at you made you assume the bump was intentional to get your attention.

“Proud of you.” Oscar said. “This was just like that one season of Formula 2 we raced in together.”

You scoffed but smiled.

 “Yea, except I now have the knowledge not to shunt the car into the back of yours.” You said. You spent most of thid race chasing Oscar’s rear wing and were glad that you didn’t do what you had just said.

“That time was an accident. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” Oscar said. The two of you stopped walking as you got closer to where the podium interviews were taking place. The two of you watched as Charles was getting interviewed about his winning result. 

“So am I gonna see you up on that podium this season?” Oscar asked. You didn’t want to shake your head, but your body acted on instinct. You have been shaking your head a lot these days.

 “That seems unlikely. I haven’t been able to match George’s pace at all and he keeps out qualifying me.” You said. Oscar looked at you confused.

 “What are you on about? You were only 2 seconds off George and that was only because I was in between the two of you.” He said. You sighed.

“Yea but it was still 2 seconds behind George. It doesn’t matter how much time is between the two of us, if I’m behind him that’s all the media is going to care about.” You said. “I’ll never have the pace to pass him.”

“Hey!” Oscar grabbed your shoulders so that you would face him. “You have the pace. You’ve been building it up this whole season. At the start you were what? 10 seconds behind him? Now you’re two. Soon there’s going to be no gap because you’ll be ahead of him at some point. It’s bound to happen.”

Maybe it was the adrenaline finally wearing down, or the fact that Oscar was saying something you had been wanting to hear from your race engineer, or your team princpal, or hell, even it’s something the media should be noticing: that you’re catching up and proving your pace. Oscar’s words were making you feel like you belonged on the grid.

 “You think so?” You asked, needing the confirmation. 

“I know so. Screw what everyone else says.” Oscar said. “Are you proud of your P6?”

 You looked back at your car, then at the car of your teammate’s before your eyes landed back at Charles. You’d be in his spot at some point this season, you just knew it.

 “Yea. I’m proud of myself.”

[ghouldump]

hi your fics are so amazing!!

if you’re open to requests, i was wondering if you could write a lestat x louis x reader fic that takes place during their huge fight in the townhouse? i can imagine the reader being a mother figure to claudia and trying to protect her during it and getting hurt in the process of trying to break up louis and lestat. i’d love to see how the reader deals with the aftermath of her and louis’ injuries as well as claudia taking care of the two of them.

sorry if its confusing😭 i thought of this while rewatching s1

For The Love Of A Daughter | Lestat x Reader x Louis

ෆ out of fear, lestat does the unimaginable and has to try his hardest to win his family's trust back, but it may be too late

the comparison of s1 vs s2 of this scene had me on the edge of my seat 🥺 ⚠️ THIS IS S1 E5 ‼️

How did your once beautiful family go to ruins? When Claudia was created? When she rebelled? Or when she left? Your daughter, you would go to hell and back for her, yet, you couldn't convince her to stay.

Lestat was cruelly strict with her, invading her privacy by reading her diaries, not considering the fact that she was trapped in the early stages of puberty for an eternity. She couldn't help that she was a young girl stuck in this body, and he never let her forget or made it easier on her.

Louis, he'd always been passive, about your companionship, as well as his role as a parent. He wanted to keep the peace and harmony. If that meant allowing Lestat to discipline her, then he’d turn his head to not have to watch out of guilt.

Then you, Lestat often complained that you spoiled her too much. You never raised a finger to her, nor your voice. You hadn't been brought up that way, and so you did the same with her. You still remember the night she left. Packing only a few things, while you and Louis tried convincing her to stay. Standing her ground, she gave you both a hug, letting the wind carry her away.

Seven years flew by, silence made its way into the house that no longer felt like a home. Louis nose-deep in book after book, Lestat leaving going god knows where, while you remained secluded, drawing, reading, and sometimes staring at the wall.

Tonight was a rarity, Lestat wasn't running off, and Louis sat on the sofa, reading, while you sat in a chair, your head lying on your arm, taking in the soft jazz music.

Hearing the door open, Claudia entered, setting her suitcase on the floor. Rushing over, you wrapped your arms around her, rocking back and forth. Pulling away, your heart broke as Louis hugged her tightly. He too had been taking it so hard, since she had been gone. Abruptly, the music stopped, Lestat glaring at her.

“The prodigal daughter”

“I've come to apologize, I put all of you in a bad spot, I wasn't right in my head. I am now,” she said. You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was something different about her, a certain brokenness, she was trying to shut away.

“Apology not accepted,” Lestat said.

“How was college? Magna cum? Summa cum? Phi Beta Kappa?” he continued.

“I've read a lot of books. Started with Persia and Babylon, the old gods who longed for blood. A lot of it was popcorn, but a few old tomes. A Romanian tract on vampirs. A strange old Hungarian text, ‘Masticatione Mortuorum,’ the chewing dead. I plan to leave for that part of the world as soon as I can,” she told him. You and Louis shared a look, sensing that this wasn't headed in a positive direction.

“So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good,” Lestat spat.

“A quick stop to pick up my mama and Louis,” she told him. Your hand went to your stomach, trying to control the unsettling nervousness building up. Lestat glanced at the two of you, before glaring at her in disgust.

“Oh, Perused a few folklore anthologies, and now you're going to cross the ocean and take on a society of monsters,” he said, slowly making his way towards her.

“If what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true,” she told him, but he only continued to stare at her as if she was beneath him.

“Seven years and what’s changed, other than you need a housekeeper?” she sneered. He slowly approached her, and as you were about to step forward to intervene, Louis grabbed your hand, discreetly shaking his head.

“The vampires out there…are vicious. Oh, but you've learned that already. Who did you meet out there in the American hinterland? Read her,” Lestat looked at the two of you, walking away. Staring at her, you quickly wiped the tear from your eye, you couldn't imagine what she had been through all on her own.

“That’s it, keep 'em scared. That's his way,” she said to you both.

“The vampires in Europe are much, much worse”

“But I think he's scared,” she spoke over him.

“I never asked, how did Charlie taste? Like the love you'll never really know,” he said, trying to get under her skin.

“And when he's scared, he ridicules”

“She was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life,” he said, approaching the both of you.

“And we took it from her, we cursed her,” Louis said, making the smug expression drop from his face. Looking at you, his frown deepened, seeing you gaze at her, the bloody tears moments from seeping out.

“Come with me!” she called out, both of you staring at her.

“Come with me, mama, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat said, becoming angry as neither of you looked at him.

“I thought I could live without either of you, but I was wrong,” Claudia said, her eyes pleading for you to come along.

“Y/n, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat continued, raising his voice.

“His love is a small box he keeps you both in, don't stay in it,” she said, as you glanced at him.

“A thousand nights of sulking, and the first sight of her, you are just gonna up and leave me?!” Lestat yelled.

“Please, come with me! Let’s be vampires worth of your love!” Claudia screamed before Lestat surged, choking her.

“Get off of her,” you said, going to shove him off of her. However, he was much stronger, gaining the upper hand, his fingers wrapping around your throat, he looked unrecognizable.

“You, always choosing her,” he spat, before Louis charged over, tackling him.

As they fought, Claudia screamed, panicking, as you tried to keep up with them. Throwing Louis in the living room. Lestat straddled him, punching him in the face.

“Lestat, stop it,” you cried out, jumping on his back, but he easily slung you across the room, as you smashed into the wall, you could feel your arm already broken.

“Claudia, stay down here,” you told her, rushing to the bedroom.

“Stop fighting,” you screamed, as they continued tackling each other.

“Let him go,” you hear Claudia crying.

“It’s alright, you stay where you're at,” Louis told her, as if he wasn't completely bruised up.

“You're going to choose her too? Leave me for her when she left you both, I’ve been here,” he told you, as you slowly backed away, unsure of what he'd do next.

“Lestat st-

“Do not tell me what to do,” he told you, wrapping his hand around your throat, and pulling you close. His nails were in your skin, with your airway completely blocked.

Dragging both of you downstairs, and outside, you could hear Claudia running.

“I fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed either of you,” he said.

“Let him go,” you cried, hoarsely, trying to claw at his hand, while reaching for Louis.

“Silence,” he told you.

“Uncle Les”

“It's Uncle Les, now suddenly?”

“Let them go, they didn't do nothin’, let them go, it's me you want,” you could hear her steps approaching.

“Listen to me, and listen very carefully my infant death, it was never you. No matter how much your mama made you think otherwise,” he spat, crushing your throat, and dragging you both out into the road.

“I chose you, and you, given you the dark gift and you've betrayed me,” he said, biting into your neck, draining almost every ounce of blood from your body, before throwing you, watching as you flew into the backyard, colliding with bricks, you could feel your rib cage shatter.

However, as you stood up, you quickly fell to your knees in pain and fear for Louis’s life, watching as they flew into the sky to the point where they were no longer seen.

“Mama, are you alright?” Claudia ran to you, reaching for her hand, your other hand on your throat. You couldn't speak, Lestat’s nails had managed to pierce through. Claudia gasped, as you coughed, blood spilling out.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“I’m okay, we just need to get Louis,” she said, helping you stand, however, just as you stood, Louis fell from the sky, hitting the ground. Limping over, you were afraid to touch him, the slightest touch looked as if it would break him even more.

Crying, you looked up, staring into Lestat’s eyes as he flew over you all, not saying a word. You couldn't say it, but from your expression, there was no way you could easily forgive him after this.

Healing was a struggle, not just from the physical damage, but any previous trust was gone. While you managed to bounce back within a few months, Louis had a long way to go. Lestat skipped town and hadn't bothered to show his face.

You avoided thinking about him, altogether. Dedicating yourself to Claudia and Louis, from coffin-bound to limping, every day was progress. Louis was slowly getting better and you both worked on strengthing your bond with Claudia. Then the calls started coming.

All of this time, you managed to push through the soreness and pain, but the moment he called you hid away, licking your eternal wounds. He was a completely different person that night, the things he said, the things he'd done. After Louis fully healed, you were no longer opposed to the idea of leaving for Europe with Claudia.

Hearing the doorbell ringing, you turned your head, watching as Claudia went outside. You could hear his voice, he had gifts, and he wanted to talk, to apologize. Louis went upstairs, throwing his coffin out of the window, you couldn't help but snicker.

“There’s your answer”

“And where is Y/n? I know she would enjoy these paints, they are rare. I paid quite a price because I knew she would make the most beautiful-

“My mama ain't got nothin’ to say to you, like you said, she betrayed you, choosing me,” she told him, shutting the door, and locking it.

Coming back to the living room, she glanced your way before to Louis, who came from upstairs. As Louis sat next to you, you pulled him close.

“You okay?” you asked him.

“Getting there,” he mumbled, smiling as you kissed his cheek.

Lestat didn't show his face anymore, but the gifts never stopped. Each time more spontaneous than the next, and while you knew, Louis was becoming weaker, you wished you could say the same for yourself.

“Emily Dickinson is not a vampire,” Louis said, as you laughed.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Because she is dead,” you pointed out.

“How do you know?”

“She got a grave,” Louis said.

“And a tombstone,” you added.

“So do you,” She told Louis, all of you laughing, afterward.

As you crossed the streets, the driver honked their horn, as they slowly came to a stop in front of you. Opening the door, Lestat climbed out, smiling at you all. Rolling your eyes, you simply looked the other way.

“25 horsepower Rolls-Royce six-cylinder engine and a front end they call a coffin nose, is that rich? This one’s yours, mine’s back at home in blue,” he said, showing off the new car, and tossing the keys to Louis.

“I know how much you despise driving, so I got you other things, the finest fabrics, books, art supplies, and music, waiting for you at home, I'm back in town permanently,” he continued, looking your way, but you just stared off to the side, as if you didn't see him.

“Were you gone?” Claudia asked him.

“Across the river, in Algiers,” he said, you could still feel his eyes on the two of you.

“You know who lives in Algiers” Claudia said to you, as you clenched your jaw.

“I don't know what possessed me that night,” he said.

“Three years ago, that night, three years ago, he means,” Claudia corrected him.

“I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I’m nothing without you. I’m nothing without any of you”

“If you want me to go away, just say so. I’ll obey you. I’ll leave your lives forever. This silence is cruel, all I ask is that Y/n looks at me. You haven't spared me a glance since I've been here. Neither of you were ever cruel, don't let our situation change you,” he said.

“Just look at him,” Louis pleaded.

Turning to face him, he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. You didn't say anything, emotionlessly staring at him.

“You look stunning as always, ma chérie,” he complimented, his heart breaking as you looked away again.

Taking the keys, Claudia threw them, before scratching the car, reaching for your hand, walking away.

Six years, came and went, and more gifts flooded the house. It was unspoken between you and Louis that you both missed him. Although it looked different, Louis wanted him to come running back, each extravagant, but sentimental gift was tugging more and more at Louis’s heart. You preferred the distance, reminiscing on the past, before that night. You didn't think you could have that back, now, you secretly enjoyed every time he saw you, or wrote to you, begging that you would acknowledge him.

Unexpectedly, it happened, the record came in the mail and was immediately played. The song meant to win you both back while pissing you off, a song sung by his affair partner. Louis was seething, grabbing the record, and ran out of the house.

“You're not going with him?” Claudia asked.

“They will be back,” you mumbled, knowing his plan worked, he got through to Louis and would be coming back.

“Rule number four-

“Kill Antoinette”

“Antoinette is my own private-

“Affair,” Claudia said.

“Said child, interfering in the romantic lives of her parents,” Lestat said, wanting one of you to stop her. She had been sharp with him since the moment he stepped into the house.

“She will be 33 soon, far from a child,” you reminded him, rolling your eyes.

“It’s a lick and a promise in vampire years,” he shrugged.

“Maybe, but I am not your child anymore, that's rule number five,” Claudia said, catching his attention.

His eyes shifted from her to you, your interlocked hands. She had you, wrapped around her fingers, taken from him. Louis was more willing to work on the broken relationship, but you had shut him out, choosing your child.

“I’ll be your companion, your sister,” she told him, as he scoffed.

“It's not as simple as choosing a new family configuration, now I'm your cousin, now I'm your aunt, I am your maker,” he told her rudely.

“I’m going to bed,” you said, standing abruptly, he looked into your cold eyes, searching for any emotion.

“Will you not lay down your rules, as well?” he asked, sarcastically.

“Good night,” was all you said, turning away, going upstairs.

“She needs time,” you could hear Louis say.

Did you need more time? You didn't go through nearly as much as Louis and he managed to forgive him, why couldn't you? You were never maternal until Claudia came along, perhaps it came with being a mother. The way that he treated her, turned you against him. As much as you loved him, thinking back to the times you were spoiled, lavished as if you were royalty, you couldn't bring yourself to open up.

Hunting became insufferable. Louis began drinking human blood, it was supposed to bring everyone closer, hunting as a family, but you kept your distance. He knew he'd wounded you, his choice of words hurting you just as bad, and he'd have to be more persistent to win you back.

“I wished you’d look at me, the simplest glance would help me a great deal,” he said, following you, sighing in relief as you faced him.

“Happy?”

“You have my heart at your will, your precious words command me, and I would do anything you ask of me,” he said, trying to fight the tears, as you slowly approached him.

“Take up your heart, I wouldn't want you to feel betrayed when I don't choose you,” you said, turning around, leaving him to stand there and try to gather his emotions.

“Could you at least try to compromise?” Louis asked you, as you looked through the different fabrics in the store.

“I am-

“No, you're not, you put your coffin in Claudia’s room, and the other night, whatever you said, he cried himself to sleep”

“Aw, poor baby,” you said, placing the fabrics into Louis’ arms.

“You agreed that we would work things out, everybody is compromising trying to work through our problems, we need you too,” he said, pouting, as you approached the cash register.

“Fine, I hate when you give me that look,” you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Thank you, I love you,” you grinned.

“I love you,” you laughed, pecking his lips.

Later that night, after putting away your things, and changing into your nightgown, you were about to into Claudia’s room, when you stopped. Huffing, you went to your shared bedroom, opening the door.

“Did she say anything? I left a note, but she never responds,” Lestat grumbled.

“I talked with her, but it is up to her to make a decision,” Louis said.

“I hope you don't expect us to squeeze that coffin,” you said, making both of them face you.

“We could always sleep in the bed,” Louis offered, both of them approaching you.

‘Thank you’ he said, as you faced Lestat.

“Will you keep that stupid look on your face, or will you speak?” you asked.

“I didn't know it was okay for me to do so,” he chuckled.

“Y/n is willing to compromise, she hasn't said it verbally, but she does still love you,” Louis spoke, as you stared at the two of them.

“Ma chérie, if I could take back what I've said, what I’ve done-

“But you can't”

“I can't, and I will have to live with the burden of knowing I hurt you and Louis both, your role in Claudia’s life was never a problem, I am sorry, my love,” he said, walking to you, falling to his knees in front of you. His head laid against your stomach, and he continued to apologize profusely.

“To have you look at me, after months of refusal, even if it is a look of anger, is to see heaven,” he said, looking up at you. Reaching for his hand, you helped him stand, pecking his lips. Holding your hand out for Louis, as soon as he was close enough, your lips were on his soft skin.

Pushing Lestat onto the bed, you straddled his lap, rolling your hips, as Louis stood behind you, kissing your neck. Leaning down, you wrapped your hands around his neck.

“I’ll forgive you, but if you ever do anything remotely similar, I’ll make sure you burn in the sun, and I’ll wear you as makeup,” you said, making him smirk.

“Anything you say, although the thought of me being on your face, arouses me greatly,” he said, watching as you pulled Louis onto the bed, moving over to him.

Your nearly decade-long monogamy had now come to an end, sharing the night with Louis and Lestat. You had forgotten how spontaneous he was, managing to pleasure both of you.

‘Have you taken him back, like Louis?’ Claudia asked.

‘For now’ you thought, as Lestat kissed along your shoulder blade.

‘Do you think Louis will help?’

‘He will’

‘Do you think it will work?’

‘I don't know, my child, but we will try’

‘We can do it, mama, he wants to keep you and Louis for himself, he hates me and would probably kill me if it meant having you both alone’

‘I know’

Now lying in bed, Lestat in between you and Louis, both of you in his arms.

“I hope you will allow me to continue to prove myself to you, and I am lost without either of you, I feel empty without you both here with me, I love you,” he spoke, you couldn't deny the way your heart fluttered.

“Then it is official, we will kill Lestat’

‘And if our plan doesn't work?’

‘Then we escape to Europe, we find other vampires, and we rebuild our lives there, does that sound okay?”

‘It sounds perfect’

‘Great, good night mama’

‘Good night, my child’

Looking up at Lestat’s face, he lay peacefully, his eyes shut, face relaxed. He was incredibly handsome, you didn't dare tell Claudia but coming to this room, you were just as weak as Louis. Would you be able to kill this beautiful man, the love of your life? Or run away and live an eternity with your daughter? You couldn't decide anymore, only time would tell.

brotha eughhh, this was so mid

[kiesbrainjuice]

— ITS VOLLEYBALL OR ME ! tobio kageyama

➥ syn : too obsessed with volleyball make you nearly loose your wife!

➥ wc : 3.5k

➥ tw : angst to fluff, heated argument, reader cry a lot, comfort

As I sat alone in our quiet apartment, I couldn't help but reflect on the life I shared with my husband, Tobio Kageyama. We'd been married for three years now, and while I loved him deeply, his obsession with volleyball was starting to take its toll on our relationship.

Tobio had always been passionate about the sport, even back in high school when we first met. I found his dedication admirable then, and it was one of the things that drew me to him. But now, as a professional player, his commitment had reached new heights – often at the expense of our time together.

Our days followed a predictable pattern. Tobio would wake up at dawn, go for a run, then head to practice. He'd return home late in the evening, exhausted but still buzzing with energy as he analyzed his performance or watched recordings of matches. Even during meals, his mind was on the court, discussing strategies or areas he wanted to improve.

At first, I tried to involve myself in his world. I attended his matches, learned the intricacies of the game, and even attempted to play a bit myself. But as time went on, I found myself feeling more and more like a spectator in my own marriage.

The loneliness crept in slowly. Weekends that should have been ours were filled with extra training sessions or team-building exercises. Holidays were planned around his tournament schedule. Even on the rare occasions when we did have time together, Tobio's thoughts were often elsewhere, replaying moments from recent games or strategizing for upcoming ones.

I'd tried talking to him about it, of course. Tobio would always apologize, promise to do better, to make more time for us. And for a while, things would improve. But inevitably, the siren call of the volleyball court would draw him back, leaving me alone once again.

Tonight was supposed to be different. We had plans – actual plans – for a date night. Dinner at the new restaurant downtown, followed by a walk in the park. It wasn't much, but I had been looking forward to it all week. A chance to reconnect, to remember why we fell in love in the first place.

But as the hours ticked by and Tobio didn't show up, I felt the familiar ache of disappointment settling in my chest. I knew, without having to call or text, exactly where he was. The gym. Always the gym.

As I sat there, dressed up with nowhere to go, I couldn't help but wonder: was this what the rest of my life would look like? Always coming second to a sport? Always waiting for a man who was more committed to his team than to his wife?

The anger began to build, a slow simmer that gradually rose to a boil. I'd had enough. It was time to go home and have a serious conversation with my husband – whenever he decided to show up.

I stormed into our apartment, tears streaming down my face. The silence that greeted me only fueled my anger and hurt. I slammed the door behind me, not caring about the noise.

With shaking hands, I unzipped my dress - the one I'd carefully chosen for our date - and let it fall to the floor. I didn't bother hanging it up, instead leaving it in a crumpled heap as I made my way to the bathroom.

The hot water of the shower mingled with my tears. I stood there, letting it wash over me, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside. Disappointment, frustration, loneliness - they all swirled together, threatening to overwhelm me.

After what felt like hours, I finally stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel. I took a deep breath, steeling myself for another night alone.

But as I walked into the kitchen, I froze. There was Tobio, still in his practice clothes, sweat glistening on his forehead. He was rummaging through the fridge, completely oblivious to the turmoil he'd caused.

"Oh, you're home," he said, glancing up at me with a casual smile. "Practice ran late. Did you eat yet?"

I stared at him, my jaw clenched. The familiar rage bubbled up inside me, but this time, I pushed it down. Instead, I felt a cold detachment settling over me.

"No," I replied, my voice flat. "I haven't eaten."

Tobio raised an eyebrow at my tone but didn't seem to pick up on the tension. "Great, I'm starving. Want to order in?"

I shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "Whatever you want."

He paused, finally seeming to notice something was off. "Are you okay?"

I didn't answer, simply turning away to head to the bedroom. "I'm tired. Order what you like."

As I walked away, I could feel his confused gaze on my back. But for once, I didn't care about explaining or smoothing things over. Let him wonder. Let him figure it out for himself.

I closed the bedroom door behind me, leaving Tobio alone in the kitchen. The wall of silence between us felt impenetrable, and for the first time, I wasn't sure I wanted to break it down.

I slipped into my pajamas mechanically, my movements slow and deliberate. The soft fabric offered little comfort as I climbed into bed, pulling the sheets up to my chin and turning to face the wall. I could hear Tobio moving around in the kitchen, the familiar sounds of his evening routine doing nothing to soothe the ache in my chest.

Minutes later, I heard his footsteps approaching the bedroom. The door creaked open, and I felt the bed dip as he settled in beside me. His arm snaked around my waist, pulling me close. His breath was warm against my neck as he nuzzled into me.

"Hey," he murmured, his voice soft. "Is everything okay? You seem upset."

For a moment, I said nothing, my body rigid in his embrace. Then, something inside me snapped. I took a deep, shuddering breath and spoke, my voice eerily calm despite the storm raging within.

"No, Tobio. Everything is not okay." I didn't turn to face him, keeping my gaze fixed on the wall. "Do you know where I was tonight?"

I felt him tense behind me. "What do you mean?"

"I was at Ristorante Bella. Sitting at a table for two, all alone." My voice remained steady, but each word was laced with hurt. "I waited for you for two hours, Tobio. Two hours of watching other couples enjoy their meals, of pitying glances from the waitstaff, of making excuses for why my husband wasn't there."

I paused, letting the words sink in. "We had plans tonight. Plans we made a week ago. But once again, volleyball took priority."

Tobio's arm loosened around me. "I... I forgot. Practice ran late, and I-"

"You didn't even text," I interrupted, finally rolling over to face him. In the dim light, I could see the shock and guilt etched across his features. "You didn't call. You just... forgot about me. About us."

I watched as realization dawned on his face. "I'm so sorry," he whispered, reaching out to touch my cheek. "I didn't mean to-"

I pulled away from his touch. "That's the problem, Tobio. You never mean to. But it keeps happening. Over and over again." I sighed, feeling suddenly exhausted. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep coming second to volleyball."

Tobio sat up, running a hand through his hair. "What are you saying?"

I met his gaze, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm saying that something needs to change. Because right now, I feel like I'm losing you... and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on."

The silence that fell between us was heavy with unspoken words and uncertain futures. As I turned away from him once more, I wondered if this would be the wake-up call we needed, or if it was the beginning of the end.

I couldn't stand lying there anymore, the tension thick in the air. I abruptly sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, standing up.

"Where are you going?" Tobio asked, his voice tinged with confusion and worry.

"I can't do this here," I said, walking out of the bedroom. I heard him scramble to follow me.

In the living room, I whirled to face him. "Do you have any idea how it feels, Tobio? To constantly be an afterthought in your own marriage?"

His face contorted with guilt. "You're not an afterthought. I just got caught up in practice-"

"It's always practice!" I interrupted, my voice rising. "Or a game, or watching tapes, or team bonding. When was the last time we had a real conversation that didn't revolve around volleyball?"

Tobio ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his posture. "Volleyball is my career. You knew that when you married me."

"I married a man, not a sport!" I shot back. "I love that you're passionate about volleyball, Tobio. I really do. But sometimes it's just... it's too much."

My voice cracked on the last word, and suddenly the tears I'd been holding back spilled over. "Do you know how many nights I spend alone in this apartment? How many dinners I eat by myself? How many times I've had to make excuses to our friends about why you couldn't make it to their events?"

Tobio took a step towards me, his hand outstretched, but I backed away. "I'm trying to support your dreams, but I feel like I'm disappearing. Like I'm fading away, and you don't even notice."

My next words came out as a choked whisper, "Do you even still love me, Tobio? Or am I just... convenient? Someone to come home to when volleyball is done with you for the day?"

Tobio's eyes widened in shock. "Of course I love you! How can you even ask that?"

"Because I don't feel it!" I cried, the dam finally breaking. "I don't feel loved when you forget our plans. I don't feel loved when you'd rather stay late at practice than spend time with me. I don't feel loved when I'm always, always second to volleyball."

I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly feeling very small. "I'm tired, Tobio. I'm so tired of competing with a sport for my husband's attention. And I don't know how much longer I can do this."

The silence that followed was deafening. We stood there, meters apart but feeling like miles, as the weight of my words hung in the air between us.

Tobio's face contorted, a mix of hurt and anger flashing in his eyes. "You think I don't care about you? Everything I do, all the practice, all the games - it's for us! For our future!"

"Our future?" I scoffed, my voice rising. "What future, Tobio? The one where I'm always alone, always waiting for you to remember I exist?"

He took a step forward, his fists clenched at his sides. "That's not fair! You knew how important volleyball was to me when we got married. You can't just decide now that it's too much!"

"I'm not asking you to quit!" I shouted back, my frustration boiling over. "I'm asking you to remember that you have a wife, that you have a life outside of that gym!"

Tobio ran his hands through his hair, tugging at it in frustration. "You don't understand. This is my dream, my passion-"

"And what about my dreams?" I interjected, my voice cracking. "What about my passion for having a real marriage, a real partnership?"

He threw his hands up in exasperation. "What do you want from me? To give up everything I've worked for?"

"I want you to care!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face. "I want you to show up when we have plans! I want you to text me when you're going to be late! Is that really too much to ask?"

Tobio's jaw clenched. "You're being selfish. You knew what you were getting into-"

"Selfish?" I repeated, incredulous. "Selfish is forgetting your wife exists the moment you step onto that court. Selfish is making me feel like I don't matter in my own marriage!"

We stood there, chests heaving, glaring at each other. The silence was deafening, filled with all the hurt and resentment that had been building for months.

"Maybe..." Tobio started, his voice low and dangerous. "Maybe you just don't understand what it takes to be the best. Maybe you never will."

His words hit me like a physical blow. I stumbled back, feeling as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. "Maybe I don't," I whispered, my anger suddenly deflating into a bone-deep weariness. "And maybe that's the problem."

I turned away, unable to look at him anymore. "I can't do this right now. I need... I need some space."

Without waiting for a response, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door, leaving Tobio standing alone in the middle of our living room.

Days had passed since our explosive argument. I'd retreated to our second apartment, a small place we kept for when either of us needed space. The solitude had given me time to think, to process my emotions, and to consider our future.

I was in the kitchen, absently stirring a pot of pasta, when the doorbell rang. Wiping my hands on a dish towel, I made my way to the door, wondering who it could be.

As I opened it, my breath caught in my throat. There stood Tobio, looking more disheveled than I'd ever seen him. His eyes were red and puffy, clear evidence that he'd been crying. In his hands, he clutched a bouquet of my favorite flowers.

Before I could ask why he wasn't at practice, Tobio spoke, his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry."

Those two words, filled with such raw emotion, made my heart clench. I stepped back wordlessly, allowing him to enter.

Tobio shuffled in, his usual confident posture replaced by a slump of defeat. He placed the flowers on the nearby table and turned to face me, his eyes filled with guilt and remorse.

"I've been an idiot," he began, his voice shaky. "These past few days... they've been hell. I couldn't focus on practice, couldn't sleep. All I could think about was how much I've hurt you."

I leaned against the wall, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. "Tobio..."

He held up a hand, asking me to let him continue. "You were right. About everything. I've been so caught up in volleyball that I forgot what's truly important. You. Us."

Tobio took a step closer, his eyes never leaving mine. "I love you. More than volleyball, more than anything. And I'm sorry it took me so long to realize how much I've been neglecting you."

Tears welled up in my eyes as he continued. "I've talked to my coach. I'm cutting back on extra practices. I'm going to be home more, be present more. I want to be the husband you deserve."

He reached out, gently taking my hands in his. "I can't promise I'll be perfect. But I can promise that from now on, you'll always come first. No more forgotten dates, no more nights alone. I want to make this work. I need to make this work."

The sincerity in his voice, the pain in his eyes - it was all too much. I felt my resolve crumbling as tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Oh, Tobio," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion.

He pulled me into his arms, holding me tight against his chest. I could feel his heart racing, matching the rapid beat of my own.

"I love you," he murmured into my hair. "Please, give me another chance. Let me show you how much you mean to me."

I pulled back slightly, looking up into his face. The Tobio I saw there wasn't the volleyball-obsessed athlete, but the man I fell in love with - vulnerable, caring, and completely devoted.

"Okay," I said softly, a small smile tugging at my lips. "We'll try again. Together."

Tobio's face lit up with relief and joy. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. "Together," he agreed.

As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, I felt hope blooming in my chest. We had a long way to go, but this was a start. A new beginning for us both.

Tobio held me close, his strong arms enveloping me in a comforting embrace. I could feel his chest rise and fall with each deep breath, as if he was trying to memorize this moment.

"I've missed you so much," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. His hands gently stroked my back, soothing away the tension I'd been carrying for days.

I burrowed deeper into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent. "I missed you too," I whispered back, my fingers clutching at his shirt.

We stood like that for a long while, just holding each other, reconnecting without words. Eventually, the timer in the kitchen beeped, reminding me of the dinner I'd been preparing.

"I should check on the pasta," I said, reluctantly starting to pull away.

But Tobio's arms tightened around me. "Let me help," he said, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. "I want to do this together."

Hand in hand, we walked to the kitchen. As I stirred the pasta, Tobio stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder. It was as if he couldn't bear to lose physical contact with me, even for a moment.

We moved around the small kitchen, working in tandem to finish preparing the meal. Tobio insisted on helping with every task, from chopping vegetables for the salad to setting the table. All the while, he kept finding excuses to touch me - a gentle hand on my lower back as he reached for plates, fingers brushing mine as he passed me utensils, a quick kiss on my cheek as I plated the food.

As we sat down to eat, Tobio pulled his chair closer to mine, our knees touching under the table. He reached out, taking my hand in his, his thumb gently caressing my knuckles.

"Thank you," he said softly, his eyes meeting mine with an intensity that took my breath away.

"For what?" I asked, squeezing his hand.

"For giving me another chance. For being patient with me. For loving me, even when I didn't deserve it." His voice was low, filled with sincerity.

I felt tears prick at my eyes again, but this time they were tears of happiness. "We're in this together, remember?" I reminded him with a small smile.

Tobio nodded, bringing my hand to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss to my palm. "Together," he agreed.

Throughout dinner, Tobio kept finding ways to maintain physical contact - his foot hooked around my ankle, his hand resting on my knee, our shoulders brushing as we ate. It was as if he was trying to make up for all the lost time, all the moments of disconnection.

After we finished eating, Tobio insisted on doing the dishes, pulling me along with him to the sink. We washed and dried in comfortable silence, stealing glances and soft smiles.

As we finished up, Tobio pulled me into another embrace, nuzzling his face into my neck. "Can we just stay like this for a while?" he murmured against my skin.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around him tightly. "As long as you want," I whispered back.

We stood there in the kitchen, holding each other close, the gentle ticking of the clock the only sound in the apartment.

© kiesbrainjuice all rights reserved. please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate !

tag : @haechansbbg

[lelengerine]

pairing. jaemin x reader

synopsis. what do you do when your feelings for your best friend start becoming not-so-platonic anymore?

genre. childhood best friends to lovers au, just jaemin realizing his feelings, pls imagine them living in a small town near the beach 🙂‍↕️, gender neutral reader, lmk if there's anything that was missed!

wc. 1.2k words

notes. inspired by holyland - wave to earth! such a good song and i highly suggest reading this while it plays as bgm >< this won the poll i had up yesterday so yay! likes and feedback are highly appreciated!

m.list

the sun was beginning to set, casting long shadows across the sand as you and jaemin walked side by side, the rhythmic crash of waves the only sound filling the silence between you. the air was warm, a soft breeze tugging at your clothes, and your laughter echoed across the empty stretch of beach as you nudged him with your shoulder.

“come on, jaem, you’re still so slow,” you teased, jogging ahead a few steps, turning to face him with that playful grin he’d grown so fond of. you never changed, he thought. always light, always glowing, even when the rest of the world felt heavy.

jaemin’s steps slowed, and he watched as you spun around in the sand, your arms outstretched like a child, completely carefree. the sight of you bathed in the fading sunlight—hair tousled by the breeze, your face flushed from the sea air—did something to him. there was a pull, a weight pressing on his chest that he couldn’t shake. he stopped in his tracks, eyes tracing the curve of your smile, the way your laughter rang through the air, unburdened and effortless.

maybe i’ve been walking along with grief… can’t find the love within my heart.

how long had it been like this? how long had he been chasing after things that didn’t matter, only to realize that what he wanted most had been right beside him all along? the realization settled over him like a wave, gentle yet unrelenting, washing away the distractions he’d been clinging to. 

he was in love with you.

the thought hit him with a clarity that left him breathless. all those moments—sharing late-night snacks, lying under the stars, trading inside jokes that only the two of you understood—he hadn’t realized what they truly meant until now. jaemin’s chest tightened, a quiet fear gnawing at him. what if he’d already lost his chance? what if you didn’t feel the same way?

“jaemin?” your voice broke through his thoughts, a soft question laced with concern. you’d stopped spinning, eyes wide as you tilted your head at him. “you okay?”

he blinked, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “yeah, i’m fine.” but even as he said it, the words felt heavy, like they didn’t belong to him.

you moved closer, the sand crunching under your feet. “you’re so weird today,” you murmured, a teasing lilt in your voice, but there was something more—something searching, like you knew there was more to his silence.

jaemin’s gaze drifted away from yours, back toward the horizon where the sun was sinking lower, its golden light reflecting off the water’s surface. he swallowed hard, his pulse quickening. how was he supposed to say it? how could he put into words everything that had been building inside him without unraveling the delicate balance of your friendship?

can you settle down my soul? and take me back to the days of old with you.

he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “it’s just… i don’t know. being here makes me think about a lot of stuff.”

you raised a brow, folding your arms over your chest as you took a seat in the sand, motioning for him to join you. ���stuff like what?”

jaemin hesitated, the weight of his confession hanging on the tip of his tongue. he dropped down beside you, his fingers absentmindedly drawing shapes in the sand. “stuff like… how things have changed. how i’ve changed.” his voice was quieter now, laced with uncertainty.

you didn’t say anything, just waited patiently, eyes locked on him, like you were giving him all the space he needed to figure out what he wanted to say. and maybe that’s why it was so hard—because you always knew him so well. you could see past his smiles, his jokes, even his silence.

i’m laying in the grass, a daydream in the sun… i’m back inside your peace.

he’d always thought that was enough—just being close to you, being your best friend, the person you turned to when the world felt too big or too lonely. but somewhere along the way, that had changed for him. being near you wasn’t enough anymore. he wanted more, craved it in a way that scared him.

“i’ve been thinking about us,” jaemin admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it louder would make the truth too real. “about what we mean to each other.”

you tilted your head, a soft smile playing on your lips. “we’re best friends, jaem. we’ve always been.”

he nodded, but his chest tightened. that was exactly it—best friends. the words felt too small, too limiting for what he felt. “i know. but… i think i’ve been lying to myself about what that means for a long time.”

your brow furrowed, confusion clouding your expression. “what do you mean?”

jaemin’s breath hitched, and he could feel his heart racing, the fear clawing at him again. but he couldn’t hide it anymore—not from you, not from himself. “i think i’ve been in love with you for a while now.”

the confession spilled out, unplanned and raw, leaving him feeling exposed, vulnerable in a way he’d never felt before. his eyes darted to yours, searching for any sign of how you might respond. would you laugh it off, tell him he was imagining things? or worse—would you pull away, leaving a gap between you that couldn’t be bridged again?

oh, holyland… watch your breeze take over me, just like we used to be.

but you didn’t laugh. you didn’t pull away. instead, your gaze softened, and for a moment, the world seemed to still. the sound of the ocean, the distant cries of seagulls, even the wind—everything fell silent as you stared at him, your lips parting as if to speak, but no words came out.

“jaemin…” you finally whispered, your voice tender, unsure. “why didn’t you ever tell me?”

he laughed weakly, the tension easing just a little as he shrugged. “because i was scared, i guess. scared of losing you.”

a silence hung between you, but it wasn’t heavy—it was contemplative, like both of you were trying to find the right words in a sea of emotions that had been unspoken for too long.

let me float in your arms… so come back to me.

then, you reached for him, your fingers brushing his. the simple touch sent warmth through his entire body, a quiet reassurance that you weren’t pulling away. not this time.

“i’ve been waiting,” you admitted, a small, almost bashful smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “waiting for you to say something. because i think… i’ve felt the same for a while too.”

his heart soared, a quiet joy settling into the spaces that had once been filled with doubt. he couldn’t help but smile—a real one this time—as he pulled you into his arms, holding you close as the waves lapped at the shore behind you. the weight he’d been carrying for so long seemed to dissolve, leaving only the warmth of your embrace and the quiet certainty that you were exactly where you were meant to be.

as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, casting the world in shades of pink and gold, jaemin knew with unwavering clarity that whatever came next, he was ready. as long as it was with you.

[holylulusworld]

Every breath you take (Prologue)

Summary: There is a shadow following you. He doesn’t know what he got himself into.

Pairing: Stalker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: stalking, being stalked, loneliness, a man out of time

A/N: We start slow to get to know them and their backstory. In this part it's Bucky.

A/N2: You all made me do it! Here’s the series to this random idea: Stalker Bucky & Crazy Reader

Every Breath You Take Masterlist

James Buchanan Barnes lost so much in his life that he doesn’t even know how he keeps on going. 

He lost his family. 

He lost his life. 

He lost his arm.

He lost his freedom. 

He lost himself. 

He lost his best friend. Steve Rogers - the only person connecting his past with his present. The one promising him till the end of the line. Well, the line wasn’t very long he thinks ever so often.

He walks the streets in a place he doesn’t recognize anymore. In a world that is so different from the one he used to know.

Before Hydra everything was simple.

Now, strangers stare at him, whispering behind his back while others ignore him. 

Bucky is not the most social person. He mostly stays to himself. Who wants to befriend the former winter soldier anyway? 

In his opinion, it’s for the best to not even try. This doesn’t mean that he never feels lonely. He often strolls through town and watches people with their families.

Bucky wishes he could’ve someone by his side too. A woman who doesn’t judge him for his past, or for the issues he still has.

How does a super-soldier and former brainwashed killer find such a woman? 

No woman will ever let him protect and spoil her. That’s all he wants. Find a pretty doll to take care of.

“Coffee. Black,” Bucky gruffly tells the barista his order. All the different drinks on their menu confuse the super-soldier. Why drink an iced coffee with some crazy flavor if you can have the best drink in the world? Black coffee.

The barista smiles at him. Her cheeks dimple and she batts her long fake lashes when Bucky holds her gaze for a moment.

“Thanks,” he pays and tips her well. Bucky may be a lot of things, but he isn’t the kind of person who does not appreciate other people’s work.

“Have a good day,” the woman chirps when he turns around to leave the cafe. Bucky doesn’t react. He stops in his tracks as someone else catches his attention. 

“Doll,” Bucky gasps loudly. The woman passing the coffee shop by is the one he almost ran into last month. This must be fate. Right? 

He walks out of the coffee shop, to follow the woman. She’s greeting the elderly owner of the bookstore Bucky discovered a few weeks ago. 

The man immediately smiles and straightens his back. He makes a joke and calls her by her name. “Hello Y/N!” The man says and waves back.

“Y/N,” Bucky murmurs your name. “Wow…doll…” He’s taken aback. His heart sped up for a second seeing you again. Now that he has heard your voice, he wants it to be the only sound he’ll hear for the rest of his life.

He strolls past the bookstore and follows you along the street. Whenever you stop to look at the window display at the different stores you must pass by to reach your home, he stops too and pretends to be interested in the products he’ll never buy.

At the end of the street, Bucky tilts his head to watch you walk away. He’ll wait a little longer to follow you. The experienced super-soldier doesn’t want to draw attention toward him. He doesn't want to scare you off. All he wants is to get to know you better…

Right across the street. You live right across the street. 

Bucky’s heart did somersaults when he followed you to your home only to realize that you were living in the building across the street. 

He didn’t try to make friends or to get to know his neighbors. This way he missed that he could look inside your windows.

It’s five hours later that he’s sitting on a chair, in a dark room to watch you talk on the phone. You wrinkle your forehead and close your eyes.

“Hmm…I think she’s having a bad day, Alpine,” Bucky tells his cat while following your every move with his brand-new binoculars. “Maybe we should do something nice for her. Like finding out who made her sad…”

And just like that, Bucky has a new mission...

Every Breath You Take (1)

Tags in reblog.

[fuji-sen]

the 'evil imposter' just wants to be a baker!

Prologue: The Foodie turned Imposter?!

Part 7: Dawn Winery's Grapevine

[ part 6 ] || [ masterlist ] || [ part 8 ]

divider is made by @/saradika-graphics

"It's best we go now and tell Amber that we didn't find anything." Aether decided, having finished eating, you found yourself walking Paimon and Aether out of the hilichurl camp, your warm friend was dozing off after having their fill of wood and pinecones.

"That would be true." You couldn't help but feel a bit sad having to part with them, though your time in this world was short, it felt forever since you had any decent human conversation. Sure the pyro slime and the hilichurls were very welcoming and accomodating but it was hard to have a clear conversation with them due to a language barrier, and the few people you had met in Mondstadt were either a rumored puppet (Katheryne) or tried to kill you in the end (Jean and Lisa).

Noticing your disappointment, the blond haired boy promised you something that made your smile return "Don't worry, I'm not leaving you permanently. I'll come by once the close is clear but. ."

He eyed the Hilichurl group "I think you shouldn't stay here any longer, the knights might come to take care of this camp before it gets to big. . they may find you."

Your eyes widened slightly, you didn't want the Hilichurls who took you in to get hurt. . "I'll keep that in mind. ."

"Here." His hand glowered brightly as he brought out a bow and a quiver filled with arrows, "This should help you in the long run." he said, he didn't want to leave you, not when you clearly couldn't fight to protect your life, but being with him while Mondstadt had his eyes on him would only risk you getting found out.

"Thank you. ." despite your hesitance you forced yourself to take the weapon. . 'right. . I shouldn't hesitate. They never did, so I shouldn't. Not when my life is on the line.'

When the duo had left in the dead of the night, you turned around, basking once more in the peaceful hilichurl tribe. Most of them were asleep, cuddling with each other for warmth near the weak bonfire that your pyro buddy managed.

The children were latched onto the older ones, the samachurl dozing off while stilling sitting, clutching their staff in their hands. Knowing that the Hilichurls were overprotective of you (for a reason you cannot quite comprehend at the present), you decided you must leave the hilichurl group for both of your own safety's. But not now, you at least wanted to be just a bit selfish.

You sat next to the dozing campfire, hugging your knees close to your chest. 'There's a lot to be done.' you thought, hand wondering to a nearby hilichurl's head, feeling their soft fur or hair, you found your fingers gently coming through the tangles.

Their origins were not unknown to you, and that made it harder for you to stay and leave them. To stay would put them at a risk of the knights attacking them to get through to you, while leaving them would damn them of the punishment placed on to them. You could not stay and defend them when she didn't even have any combat prowess.

Despite being a former culinary arts students, you had experience due to playing Genshin Impact. There was a way to make sure the hilichurl group would not be ill-equipped. Of course helping them get stronger may mean they'd end up hurting innocent civilians but. . they were much better than the people, so you didn't need much more convincing.

Come the next few days you helped in fortifying their walls and making simple watch towers out of wood so their archers would have better leverage. Of course all you did was draw the watchtower and they understood what you were trying to convey to start building it.

The Samachurl was also able to help with communication, but they way that the Sama looked at you meant he was beginning to understand why you had them do these things. You thought the younger hilichurls how to cook and prepare food that weren't just meat but also those with vegetables.

"You need to eat your vegetables okay?" "nye!" a hilichurl huffed, crossing their arms and turning away. "Hey!"

You also accompanied them when they went hunting and foraging, they taught you how to prepare birds and boars to turn into food and meet, while you taught them how to season them and prepare it so the food will last longer.

They helped you learn how to use a bow and in turn the first prey you had caught were given to them. When you realized that they were now able to live more efficiently, you decided to leave that particular night.

You left half of the food and ingredients you had foraged, the rest going into your inventory. As you walked out of the camp, you found yourself turning back only to flinch at the Samachurl who appeared right in front of you.

"Unu. ." the sadness in his voice conveyed that he knew you were about to leave, without planning to return. . at least for a long while.

Swallowing away your nerves, you responded by simply bowing deeply in respect and gratitude "Valo. . for everything."

"a. .ah." the Samachurl coughed, once again he spoke in broken human language. . "p. please, come back, ye unu. . we're your odomu." and he bowed in front of you, much deeper, almost falling to the ground as he regarded with reverence.

You straightened up, feeling a mixture of emotions as you approached him, arms enveloping his much smaller form as you placed a kiss on his forehead. "I will."

🏹⁀➴˚ ✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

Find yourself alone made you feel solemn and rather lonely, but you resisted the urge to go back. Due to the terrain of Brightcrown mountains, there were so few paths you could take. Since you weren't a skilled rock climber nor did you feel safe swimming at cider lake with its proximity to city of freedom, you decided to take the path that lead south, to the sub area Windwail Highland.

Windwail Highland consisted of Dawn Winery, Wolvendom and Springvale. Your goal was to go to Wolvendom, due to it being home to the wolves, it was a less popular sight in the region. There were few people there, actually you were sure that there would only be one person to worry about, Razor.

Wolvendom held something precious you would need after all, Wolfhook, it was not because you wanted to try cooking with them. . . okay partly it was, but it was mainly for its medicinal properties! Since you couldn't go to the city and get healed by someone like Barbara, you could only rely on homemade remedies and recovery food.

Of course recovery food were for hp in the end, you don't think they'll heal any broken bones you may get along the way. But since you didn't know how to exactly use them, you also had to improvise this entire journey of yours to make sure you live.

You eyed the lake that entered your vision, as your hand placed itself on a waypoint, ignoring it whirl to life you turn to the fork in the path. One leading to the winery, the other leading to Liyue. If Aether hadn't told you why you were being targeted by Mondstadt, you'd have probably escape to Liyue using this path by now but. .

if Mondstadt, the city of freedom itself wanted you dead without any due process, what of Liyue? Liyue, a region steeped in tradition, this creator was respected in the entire continent. . thinking about it, there wasn't really any safe places for you to go to, to seek refuge in.

Even if there were people who would willingly protect you and house you, you'd no doubt feel guilty for putting them in potential harm's way. You massaged the lower half of your face as you decided to continue trekking on, but instead of feeling your skin, you felt a fabric around you. "Ah right" you murmur as you remembered making a half-assed veil to cover the majority of your face. The hilichurl masked had been an option but that would garner more attention to yourself as a human dressed as a hilichurl.

But with the apparel you were wearing you could easily play yourself off as being a nomad from a far of region, possibly the Sumeru Desert, the clothes would be close enough to it and considering there were few or none sumeru visitors in Mondstadt except for Lisa (who has been away from the dendro region for years) then you were safe.

The smell of grapes seemed to linger around the area now, and lo and behold, you could see Dawn Winery with its grapevines in full glory. Curiously you stopped to stare, watching as numerous maids and workmen were hauling the harvest to the house.

"Oh hello there, is there anything we can do for you?" You flinched as you turned to find a maid approach her, one with short light blonde hair and green eyes, her appearance was very familiar to her but the name was definitely on the tip of your tongue.

"U-uh no, sorry I just smelled some grapes." You awkwardly stood, wondering if the maid knew about the wanted 'Imposter' on the loose.

The woman nodded, a smile on her face. "I see, here at Dawn Winery, we grow a lot of varieties of grapes that are used for our wine and some other special ingredients." she added helpfully.

"Is it harvesting season then?" you asked curiously, the woman nodded "yes, for one of our rotations. We are actually hiring some adventurers for some labor. Are you by chance one of those adventurers who saw our request?"

Immediately you shook your head "Ah I'm an adventurer, yes. But I haven't seen this request of yours."

"Ah I see"

Seeing her disappointment you added "however if you still need an extra pair of hands, I can help." you offered and she instantly smiled. "That's great, why don't you follow me and I can explain to you what we need to do!"

You nodded, taking a steady pace as you followed behind the woman who'd you come to realize was Adelinde. All you had to do was harvest the grapes in one section of the winery, then help with the cleaning then the delivery of a wine. "Apparently, the Knights are ordering for abled men to partake in the hunt of a person impersonating out great Creator." Adeline offhandedly mentioned, which explained why most of the people in the area were either maids or much older workers that probably did not meet Jean's standards for participants.

"I see, that must have been a trouble for your business." You nodded along as you grabbed a wooden basket, and started working. You were too far into it to leave anyways, and hopefully they'd pay you a lot for the menial labor. Maybe finally you could escape the nightmare that is minimum wage.

The grapes looked juicy and plump, you were almost tempted on snacking on a few but you didn't want to return Adelinde's kindness with eating their grapes. You could probably make some raisins with the grapes.

"Oh Master Kaeya, what are you doing here?" You flinched at Adelinde who was greeting a boy with dark blue hair. "Hello Adelinde" he greeted respectfully, without a hint of teasing. From the corner of your eye you could see him interact with the maid.

A shaky sigh escaped your lips, hoping the captain would not notice you. "I heard you were short on hands so I thought I'd stop by and assist you."

"Don't tell me you ditched your work." The woman huffed, hands on her hips, but she didn't look too annoyed. "Maybe, maybe not. But it's okay, Diluc is working with the Knights at Jean's behest." He waved her off.

"I see, thank you for your help. . but are you sure? this situation is very important. It is true that there is an imposter like in the prophecy?" Adelinde asked with a hush whisper, but you found that the wind carried their voices to you making it easier for you to eavesdrop.

"Supposedly, but I would not rule out this imposter for simply having a few similar features with her divinity." Kaeya said with a small sigh, the maid skeptically wondered "that is true but. . are they truly going to execute this person on sight. . what if they are actually the creator?"

If Adelinde had a choice, she would rather give it time to truly determine this person's status before deciding to execute them on the spot.

"I would agree. But maybe Diluc could bring reason to Jean."

"Hopefully, Jean has always been fond of Diluc, maybe she'd listen to him."

Oh? did that mean Jean did have feelings for the red haired dark knight? you couldn't help but cover your mouth with your hand, finding the tea to be interesting.

"But you know, I wonder why Jean is acting like this, usually she's so level headed." Adelinde sighed cupping her cheek in dismay, she was quite disappointed with the acting grand master's choice of actions.

"Well you know it is quite a sensitive topic, it seems like she wants to curry favor with the great Creator after being neglected." Kaeya unabashedly exposed Jean's secrets. You blinked in confusion, hands stopping as if frozen from harvesting another grapevine. Jean was neglected by the creator?

'so like mommy issues or God Issues?'

You couldn't help but ponder the implications of what was revealed to you, that meant that the God was still active in some ways but still silent.

Then you remembered something, you had jean, you had pulled for a character you had wanted only to lose 50/50, and because by then she was out of meta you didn't bother using her, only building her to get the few free wishes. .

You nearly dropped your basket as something cold washed over you. . something, something was clearly wrong.

°🥂⋆.ೃ🍾࿔*:･

After harvesting all the ready grapes in the section Adelinde instructed you, you found them ready the grapes into wooden buckets as the other more experienced maids handled the work. "Why don't you take a seat and wait, the others are loading up the wine in the cart." Adelinde offered as you nodded in relief, you found your feet hurting from standing on unpaved paths without any proper protection.

"By the way," you flinched, turning to Adeline who simply smiled at you, unaware of your unease "I never got your name."

"It's [Name]." you said with a slight nod as you then headed to the chairs and tables scattered around the estate. You felt your stomach rumble, finding yourself starving. You should cook something, you wondered if you can borrow the nearby cooking pot. "Why hello there?"

Your eyes widened, turning to meet Kaeya, how long had he been aware of your presence? how long had you been distracted by your hunger to not notice him approaching?

"I've never met you before, you are?"

"[name] just a nomad." you answered with a frown, eyes narrowing at the captain. What was he up to? even though he seemed to not agree with Jean's witch trial, he was still a wildcard.

"Oh? from where?" he took the seat next to you, a smile plastered on his face.

"The desert in Sumeru."

Your answers were short and had a sharp edge, but it did not deter the Cavalry captain who only seemed more and more amused. You wondered whether Aether trusted the man enough to tell him about what he knew of you.

"Oh really? I've never been there before. What's it like?"

"Unbearably hot during the day, cold during the night. There are also a lot of eremites and mercenary." You answered. Could he even confirm or deny your claims? sure he had connections, but did it reach towards Sumeru who was quite far?

His fingers tapped the wooden table that separated the two of you, "I've never been to Sumeru before, could you tell me more about it?" he asked, putting on his charismatic tone. "What do you care for then?" you gritted out.

"How about the cuisine?"

Your eyes widened slightly, and you found yourself going into a long rant about the food in Sumeru. Although you could never truly describe it's by its taste, having never eaten it. You vividly remember its description.

"The pita pockets are very tasty and filling, I made it once (recreated) and it was delicious. You can change the fillings, I tried one with a filling similar to what I usually use in Quesadillas. But you can change it to have some lettuce or tomatoes and pork. But if you want a dish you can try the Tandoori Roast Chicken, it's similar to the Sweet Madame but instead of being sweet it's more savory with spices." You continued on ranting as Kaeya blinked, he was not expecting this.

He wasn't able to cut in for awhile as you passionately talked about the food from Sumeru, sometimes you complained about the ingredients, other times you gushed about how delicious it was when you cooked it or how disappointed you were when you hadn't.

"Personally I always wanted to try their Shawarma wraps, but I haven't had the chance to recreate it as well as the Rose custard. I love pudding, what about you?"

"oh uh" he blinked again, not expecting you to stop as you, again, were rather passionate. Realizing it as well, you reeled back, cheeks and ears taking on a rosy hue as you apologized, definitely embarrassed for chatting his ears off.

"It's alright" he found himself chuckling, for some reason, when you had your guard down and began talking with such passion, he found himself relaxing, warming up to your more genuine side.

"Personally I'd prefer a good meal that could be paired with some wine." He commented, he propped his arm up by placing his elbow on the table, as he leaned his cheek on his palm. "Since you came from Sumeru, have you tried any Mondstadt dishes?"

You shook your head, you didn't have a chance to because of Jean and Lisa, you bitterly thought. "How about I treat you?" he offered and suddenly the sound of your stomach pitifully grumbling was heard, you wanted to die as he said with an amused smile "I'll take that as a yes then."

Rather than actually buying you food, he took it upon himself to cook you something. The blue haired knight had borrowed the kitchen in the Ragnvindr estate. You sat patiently on a stool as you watched him worked, wondering if he was always this easy going with people? To cook for someone, well to you that was rather intimate after all.

You smelled the scent of fruit, and quickly you realized he was making his signature dish. If cooking for someone you just met wasn't intimate, then cooking your signature dish for someone you weren't even close to was definitely intimate.

"Here you go, a plate of my famous Fruity Skewers." he said after a few moments, presenting you with a plate with his signature dishes. It looked more appetizing than the base recipe which was the chicken-mushroom skewers, you could see the slices of cucumber and onions paired with the chicken and mushrooms which had a shiny coat to it, probably from the wine he used to marinate. With a hum you took a skewer and bit into it.

Kaeya watched with slight interest at how your eyes sparkled from the dish, you licked your lips after finishing a skewer and when you turned to him, any apprehension you had towards him was gone. "This is delicious!"

When you had recreated his signature dish back at home, you clearly didn't do any justice for his signature dish. Perhaps it was the wine, no, it was definitely the wine you had used that failed to capture it's essense.

"I'm glad you liked it. You are. . quite enamored with food huh?"

You weren't offended by his remarks, instead you proudly sat straighter, as you jabbed your thumb towards yourself "That's right. I'm a foodie."

"A foodie?" he repeated, a certain shift in his tone that you hadn't noticed.

"That's right," you smiled "a foodie is basically a person who is very interested in food!"

"That seems like an understatement, when I take you for an example." At his words you blushed, chuckling as you remembered how you rant off moments ago, on just the sumeru dishes alone.

The two of you began eating in the kitchens, you were sure Adelinde had pop by once but immediately closed the door but you weren't too sure. Kaeya wasn't bothered, taking the time to savor the meal as you decided to return the favor by making some desert.

I use he/they pronouns for the slime, they/them for hilichurls but some I used he/him. The samachurl is he/they. Since I'm writing a female reader, i usually use her, but it's mostly 'you'.

I'm sorry you had to leave them, it's for the story's progression.

oh and this story is going to be definitely lighthearted with a few pinches of angst, how you treat characters when you were playing the game will definitely affect their standing on you. Well at least in Jean's case.

Current compiled suggestions to name the pyro slime <3

Fuji_Sen has suggested! Lava Cake or "Java" based on the food / coffee" Fuji_Sen has suggested! Monsieur Creme Brulee or "Creme" based on the food. @Fantasyhopperhea has suggested! Soleil or "Sol" @Cactus4226 has suggested! Ruru (Py-ro, ro -> ru -> ruru) @bunniotomia has suggested! Helios or "Hel" @airyravenmaid has suggested! Cinnamon or "Cinna"

taglist:

@fantasyhopperhea @rhoswen-drake @cchiiwinkle @aman3kkun @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @bunniotomia @esthelily

@earth-to-name @fandomfan-102 @kh1ffy @jiyeons-closet @dragontammerz / @mercy-not-merci @aryuunachigiri @randomnatics @alexx197197 @keirennyx @vianitry @game-savvy @laviniadraws

If you are not tagged successfully that means tumblr thinks you are a bot (because you don't have posts, or much interaction), you have been shadowbanned, or your visibility is set to prevent you from being tagged.

check here for more info.

I recommend checking your visibility or post and reblog a couple of times to fix the issue, if you don't know if you're shadowbanned check if you have the message function, if not you probably are.

also I repeat, if this chapter is old (meaning there is a more latest one) please request to be add in the taglist there, it's much easier for me to filter the newer requests from the old ones, :'D

[redrose10]

Part 2 of three… Thank you for all the comments and messages!

CEO Yoongi x Female Barista/College Student Reader

Title: Cold Brewed Love

Summary: When you begged the owner of Jin’s Java House to hire more employees you didn’t mean for him to stick you with the cold, rude, arrogant CEO Min Yoongi. Over time something begins to brew between you both and you end up forced to make decisions way above the pay grade of a cafe barista.

Warnings: Angst, swearing, hints of smut(nothing explicit), Yoongi is mean but we all know he’ll turn fluffy later, violence, kidnapping, mention of a gun, drug references, gang activity, murder, overdose

Word Count: 3,824

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You woke up confused and alone in a room you didn’t recognize. Your throat hurt, but your head hurt worse. You looked around trying to make out your surroundings to get some idea of where you were. The room was empty except for an armchair in the corner with a small side table next to it. The only light in the room came from a small space between the curtains of what you assumed was a window. It seemed like you had been out for quite some time judging by the amount of sunlight.

You tried to stand up, but you felt too weak immediately falling to the ground. You tried once again, but froze when you heard the door handle begin to jiggle. The door swung open and a light was turned on making you squint from the change in brightness.

“Good morning Y/N, good to see you’re finally awake. Can I get you something to eat or maybe a coffee?”, a deep unfamiliar voice spoke.

“Who are you and how the fuck do you know my name?”, you spat not in the mood for pleasantries.

The man walked in and took a seat in the chair across the room. You took noticed of his expensive looking suit that was tailored to fit him perfectly. His hair was slicked back. A strong cologne followed after him. He reminded you a lot of Yoongi.

“Is that anyway to speak to the man that saved your life and took you away from that monster?”, he said while lighting a cigar.

You scoffed, “You saved my life? My life was just fine until you kidnapped me and threw me in this room.”

“Oh dear Y/N. You really are too good and naive for Yoongi.”, the man chuckled.

The mention of Yoongi made your breath hitch.

“How do you know Yoongi?”

“Well Y/N…I am glad you asked. You see me and Yoongi go way back. We met when we were just children. We used to be very good friends, actually like brothers. We ran a little side business together. The largest drug manufacturing and distribution organization since the 80’s, you know… nothing too extreme. Then one day Yoongi’s parents decided to finally give him the reigns to control the business and suddenly he didn’t need me or our organization any more. I agreed to let him walk away because he was my brother and I loved him as such. I wanted him to have a good life either way.”

The man paused to take a long draw of his cigar before continuing, “But it turns out that wasn’t good enough for Yoongi. He was selfish. He wanted to take everything we had worked for while also making sure his past life would never get out to the public. He lied to me. He deceived me because he knew I trusted him. He took all of our assets, every cent. He destroyed any evidence that could be linked to him. And then to top it all off he went to the police to get the whole operation shut down to make sure this could never come back on him. But..unfortunately for him I’ve been able to build back most of what we had even though it’s nowhere near what we once had. It took a lot of time and cost me a lot of money and many of my men all while I’ve had to watch him live the life of luxury in his comfy office, going to galas, being praised and awed by strangers around the world that don’t know how evil he really is behind the facade of expensive suits and sultry looks. I vowed that I would get my revenge against him and make him pay for what he did to me…to us. I was starting to loose hope that I would ever get my chance.”

The man suddenly stood up and took a few long strides to kneel down in front of you. You pushed yourself back against the wall as far as you could while trying to conceal your whimpers.

The man poked his finger against your forehead, “And then I saw the photos of your little date. I could see it in his eyes…just how in love with you he is. I knew this wasn’t some random hookup like the others. And I knew that my time had finally come. Min Yoongi took everything from me and now I will take everything from him.”

“So what are you going to do? Just kill me to get back at him?”, you scoffed.

“Oh no no no Y/N. Not yet at least. I’m going to have some fun first. I want him to suffer for a while. I want him to worry about you until he’s sick to his stomach. For him to know your pain is all his fault. Then I want to kill him.”

You watched as the man walked over to the door before he turned to look back at you, “At the end of the day Yoongi doesn’t care about anyone or anything except himself, his image, and his money. You’re going to learn real soon about the real Min Yoongi.” The man stood up and left you speechless as you watched the door slam shut behind him.

“Fuck fuck fuck”, Yoongi chanted as he drove around trying to figure out his next move. He knew he never should’ve asked you out. He scolded himself for being weak for you.

He thought back to the first time he saw you and how he developed an immediate crush on you. Something he’d never experienced before. He saw you behind the counter of the coffee shop. You were definitely new. You kept eyeing him before quickly turning away every time he’d try and make eye contact with you. He knew you liked him. He wasn’t stupid.

Unfortunately he liked you too. Your cheeks flushed from nervousness and the heat of running around in behind the counter. Your hair wet from sweat and plastered to your forehead. You bit your lip in concentration as you poured the coffee. You looked so cute to him and he wanted to get to know you. To date you and make you his.

Then you shakily handed him his coffee only to knock it down on the counter spilling all over his favorite custom made shoes. Sure he had three other pairs so it really wasn’t a big deal, but he took it as the opportunity to scold you hoping to make you hate him. Selfishly hoping it would keep you away from him so he wouldn’t fall for you even more.

But it didn’t work as he had hoped and he quickly fell more madly in love with you every time he saw you. Then his parents made him get a job at Jin’s Java House. He knew it was a bad idea from the start. He tried to argue with them, pleaded for another option but to no avail. He thought he was strong enough. He started off trying to be rude while working together to make you hate him even more then he already knew you did, but it only made him feel guilty and left him wanting to make it up to you any way he could.

Then he tried distracting himself with other women, sometimes as close even ten minutes before he came down for his shift at the coffee shop with you. But even when his secretary was topless and moaning underneath him as he thrusted into her on his office couch all he could think about was you and your beautiful smile and how he wished it was you below him instead. As he was burrowed deep inside someone else he fantasized about how he would take his time and do everything possible to pleasure you until it was you screaming his name over and over. He knew it was a lost cause at that point because he was a man in love. And now here he was driving around the city while you were God knows where because of him and his weaknesses.

Yoongi regretted his past life. He wasn’t proud of what he did. He had gotten in a little trouble at school so his parents had told him he was a failure and they would sell the company before allowing him to take control. He felt hurt and useless and desperate to prove them wrong.

So as a teenager he turned to crime. Him and his best friend started dealing drugs. It started small with just some weed or pills here and there to other friends and their acquaintances. Then it got bigger and bigger until next the thing he knew they were moving thousands of kilos of various drugs every year worth hundreds of millions of dollars. They had bases in Seoul, LA, New York, Tijuana, London, Rio, Moscow, and Beijing as well as dozens of smaller ones he couldn’t even remember any more. Money was rolling in like he’d never seen even though he already grew up wealthy. He had a new woman every night and said goodbye to them before the morning with no strings attached. He was on top of the world and the best part was he was doing it all with his best friend.

Then he got a call. His dads health was deteriorating. The generational family company was falling apart. His mom was coping by drinking and popping pills, probably from his own supply unbeknownst to her. They were proud of him for becoming so successful in his “pharmaceutical business”, a lie he told when people started questioning his job or where his money came from. His parents had changed their minds and wanted him to take over the company. Become the ceo and bring profitability and success back to the family name and business.

At first Yoongi told them to fuck off. He wasn’t going to give up what he had worked hard for after they tossed him aside like he wasn’t their own flesh and blood.

Then days later he got another call from one of the few people in the world that he respected, his grandmother. She asked Yoongi to take over the company that her and his grandfather had fought so hard to build and turn into an empire. She didn’t want to see it given to someone outside of the family or worse have it shut down completely.

Yoongi tried to politely decline, but then solemnly she begged him. She begged him to take over not only to save the company, but so that he could escape his life of crime before he ended up in prison or worse. She cried reminiscing about how many times she stayed up all night worried about him and what he was doing out in the world. How every phone call made her heart skip a beat fearing the worst. How she saw families being torn apart thanks to him and his business’s product. She begged him, even referring to him as her little dumpling, a nickname she had often used for him growing up that he hadn’t heard in years.

Yoongi didn’t ask how she knew about his secret life. He didn’t want to know to be honest, but he knew he didn’t want to be the reason for her tears any longer. So he called his parents the next day to accept the position.

His friend had been kind and understanding, offering to let Yoongi just walk away from everything and leave him in charge.

At first that was fine. Then one night on his way home he found out that his neighbors daughter overdosed. She was just sixteen. A star student and respected ballerina already being scouted by some of the biggest dance companies from all over the world. Yoongi knew the drugs were from his prior organization. There were no others around at the time.

He watched the girls parents standing in the pouring rain until their knees gave out and they hit the concrete and sobbed as the stretcher carrying their daughter was wheeled into the back of a waiting van. After that night his grandmothers voice started playing over and over in his head often keeping him up along with the screams of the parents he heard that night.

Yoongi decided he wanted to erase that part of his life like it never happened.

Because he was still trusted by his friend he had access to the bank accounts which he wiped clean. He destroyed every document he could find that would tie him to the organization. Anonymously he contacted police in every city he could think of and helped them to track down all of their operations getting them all shut down. Multiple people were arrested and a few even killed. He did his best to convince himself that their blood was not on his hands.

And when the few that were arrested tried to snitch and implicate Yoongi there was no significant evidence and the little the police could find was quickly swept under the rug thanks to a little cash swung their way.

Yoongi was able to walk away without anyone knowing of his past life. His friend left to pick up the pieces of a once great empire. And now here Yoongi was paying the price for something he thought was long behind him and could no longer keep him from happiness.

You walked around the room as you looked for an escape. The window had bars around it. Of course the door was securely locked. There was nowhere to go. You didn’t have your phone any longer. You resigned to taking a seat back on the floor trying to come up with a plan.

You weren’t sure how much time had gone by but at some point later in the day a woman appeared with a tray carrying a bowl of soup and some toast as well as an apple and a bottle of water. You thanked her even though you had no appetite at all.

As you sat under the window staring up at the little bit of the sky you could see you wondered what was happening in the outside world. What happened at the coffee shop when you didn’t show up for work? Did they call looking for you? You were going to fall behind in your classes if that even mattered any more. Was Yoongi even looking for you or was he worried this would get out in the public and ruin his image? It was all becoming too much and you began to cry fearing the future and the unknown.

After a while of crying and dozing off you decided you were getting a little hungry. Remembering the tray from earlier you decided against the soup which was now cold and gelatinous, but the toast still seemed okay so you picked it up taking a bite.

It was slightly stale but passable. As you mindlessly chewed you noticed a small piece of paper on the plate where the bread had been.

With your brows furrowed you unfolded the paper finding a hand written note. The writing was barely legible as it appeared quickly scratched down and was written in some kind of lipstick.

“I’ll come back tonight. When you hear three knocks at the door be prepared to run.”

Your mouth went dry. Your heart began to race. Quickly you chugged down the bottle of water as you contemplated if running was worth the risk. Surely if they caught you then you would be killed. And who is this woman and why is she helping you? What if it was a test?

You had a million different thoughts going through your mind, but they were cut short.

*Knock…Knock…Knock*

Slowly the door creaked open and the same woman from earlier peaked in the room. She motioned for you to follow her. What did you have to loose you thought so you did.

The two of you tiptoed down the hall and some stairs before you heard shouting after you.

“Run!”, the woman shouted so you sprinted not far behind her. You ran down hallways and and stairs. Looking for any exit door.

Just when you saw your hope, a door with a large window facing the outside world just down the hall from you, you were grabbed and harshly thrown down on the ground. You looked up seeing Yoongi’s friend breathing heavily.

“This is what I get huh? I tried to let you stay upstairs in a warm room. I gave you food. Yoongi always said I was the soft one out of the two of us. I guess he was right, but not any more.”, he spat dragging you down the hall by your arm.

Frantically you searched for the woman from earlier who tried to help you. You hoped she got out or was at least safe, but you quickly realized that was not true. A blood curdling scream rang through the air followed by a single gunshot. Your eyes widened in horror.

“Don’t worry sweetheart. I’m not gonna kill you just yet. Not before you’ve gone on a final date with your Yoongi.”

You swallowed down the lump in your throat as the man threw you in a cell, the iron gates loudly clanking shut. It looked like you were in a dungeon. It was cold and there was zero light coming through.

Without speaking the man tossed you an old dirty towel to use as a blanket before heading back upstairs leaving you down there alone.

Days went by. You were barely fed and barely slept. You had accepted your fate at that point. Unsure if it was the delirium setting in or what but you often found yourself chuckling at your situation.

You missed the days of going to college. You missed your friends. You missed the smell of coffee and the warmth it brought. You couldn’t believe how your life had turned around in the matter of hours all thanks to you falling in love with a lier, con artist, the devil? You weren’t really sure how to view Yoongi right now. He was probably leading a meeting right now without a care in the world. He’s probably going out to dinner later with some woman he met on his way to work with the sole intention to get in her pants by the end of the night. A small part of you hoped he was worried about you. Looking for you. Doing anything to help. Because a small part of you still loved him.

You hadn’t heard anyone walk in until you heard the iron gate slide open ending in a loud clank.

“Put this on. And use these wipes to clean yourself up.”, an unfamiliar voice said.

You sat staring at the items in front of you not moving.

“Bosses orders”, the man growled.

Slowly you grabbed the wipes and began wiping down your face and arms. It actually felt kind of nice.

You reached for the other items, a black cocktail dress and hair brush. You took the brush and ran through your hair a few times until the knots were out.

You looked at the dress and then at the man in front of you. He rolled his eyes and sighed before turning around and facing the wall. Quickly you removed your clothes and put the dress on before the man could turn around.

Just as you finished, the familiar smell of cigars entered the air and not long after Yoongi’s friend appeared.

“Wow don’t you look nice. I can see why Yoongi likes you. I think he’ll appreciate that you dressed up just for him.”, he said before blowing a cloud smoke through your cell.

“Now go ahead and stand up against that wall.”, he pointed towards the other side of the cell.

You crossed your arms in defiance refusing to move.

He chuckled, “I like you Y/N. I really do. Too bad I’m only giving you twenty four hours to live.” Your face dropped in realization at his statement.

A bright flash lit up the cell for just a moment before you realized your photo had been taken.

“Thanks sweetheart. I’m sure Yoongi will love it.”, he laughed before leaving you alone once again.

Yoongi was back at his place pacing back and forth. He’d ignored call after call from Hobi. He’s sure he’s wondering where he and/or you are and he doesn’t have the brain power right now to come up with a believable lie.

As he stared out at the river below his apartment he heard a new notification on his phone. A text message from an unknown number came through showing the preview of a photo.

Clicking on the message he instantly dry heaved sure he would’ve fully vomited had he consumed anything today.

A photo of you in a black dress. Your hair frazzled. Immediately Yoongi noticed the bruising on your body. The cut on your lip and welt on your forehead. What killed him the most was the look on your face. The look of fear, of despair. He could see you were holding back tears and it was all thanks to him.

Seconds later another message came through, “Y/N’s a beauty Yoongi. I always did think you had good taste when it came to women and it seems like even after all these years nothing has changed. You have 24 hours to find us. If you involve the police I’ll kill her instantly. If you even care…”

You had changed back into your old clothes giving yourself a little more coverage from the cold. The floor was made of stone but you were so exhausted you were able to drift off to sleep quite quickly.

You fell into dreamland. Dreaming that you were on a beach. The warm sun shone down on you as a breeze rippled through the air. The ocean waves crashed gently against the sand next to you as you walked along the edge. Looking up you saw Yoongi just down the beach waiting for you. He flashed you a gummy smile showing you the two drinks he had in his hands. Just as you began to walk towards him the sky turned dark and a giant wave came crashing down on you dragging you out to sea. You screamed for help unable to get yourself out of the current as the waves kept you down. Running out of fight you felt yourself slowly drifting under water father and rather. The last thing you remembered was hearing Yoongi screaming your name.

You jerked awake sweaty and out of breath with your hand clutching to your chest.

Sitting up you did your best to try and calm yourself down taking deep slow breaths.

Faintly from a distance you swore you heard your name shouted. You brushed it off thinking it was just a residual memory from your dream.

Then you heard it again, a little clearer this time and you were a little more certain.

“Yoongi?”, you whispered to yourself hearing a familiar sound as the door slammed open.

[the-bloody-sadist]

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

[wannabespacesmuggler]

D.D. | Shane's Girl

Part Three | Masterlist | Buy me a coffee | Check out the playlist

Summary: Daryl Dixon knows he shouldn’t be thinking about you when he’s alone at night in his tent. Hell, he shouldn’t even be looking at you throughout the day. You’re not his. You’re Shane’s girl. But Daryl doesn’t like the way Shane treats you. And he certainly doesn’t like how you’re forced to play ‘loving girlfriend’ to a man with eyes for another woman at the camp.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Shane Walsh sucks

Word Count: 1.5K

Author’s Note: It has once again been a hot second. I love this idea so much and want to continue it. I'm really glad that all of you seem to enjoy this little fic as well. Did anyone else watch the new Daryl Dixon show? I liked it a lot more than Dead City; however, the final episode felt super lackluster, especially with all of the build-up. Maybe that's just me. Anyway, let me know what you guys think of this one, if you want to be added to the taglist, or just want to ask me a question.

Extras: Playlist

“Like this?”

Your voice pulls Daryl out of his quiet concentration. He’d been so busy at work, sharpening the tip of the crossbow bolt in his hands, that he’d almost forgotten that you were sitting with him. Daryl’s gotten used to being alone. Hell, most of the time, being alone is better than the alternative -- being in the company of Merle Dixon. However, you are certainly nothing like Merle Dixon. 

Daryl coughs awkwardly -- trying to ground himself back in reality. It was early evening when you wandered into the Dixons’ makeshift camp. You’d finished all of your chores relatively early for the day and desperately wanted to do something instead of sitting down by the lake and gossiping with Andrea and Amy. You had attempted to find Shane, in the hope that maybe the two of you could take watch together. Since the world fell apart, you haven’t really had any time to actually talk with Shane. You can’t blame him though, his concern for Carl and Lori is admirable. And you know that if the situation were reversed, Rick would do the same and would make it his life’s mission to look out for you. You just wish your boyfriend could extend some of that comfort to you. 

That’s how you find yourself across the fire from Daryl, sharpening the crossbow bolt you made together. Daryl’s eyes shift from your face to your hands, to assess your progress. His eyes widen slightly once he notices how you’re holding the knife in your hands. You stop moving once notice the change in Daryl’s features.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Daryl watches as you physically shut down-- as if you’re preparing for him to be angry over a simple crossbow bolt. His jaw clenches at your reaction. He is angry, but not at you. No, he’s angry because he understands. He resists the urge to ask you who it was that has managed to make you feel so small and, instead, moves to the other side of the fire so that he can sit beside you.

“Nah, you didn’t do anything wrong. Just hold the knife like this, ‘lright?”

Daryl physically shows you how to hold the knife away from your body while you’re sharpening the bolt. Your eyes follow his movements for several moments before replicating them. Daryl watches you intently, nodding whenever you look over for his approval.

“Yeah, jus’ like that.”

A small smile plays at the corners of your lips at the sudden softness in Daryl’s voice. You distract yourself by watching Daryl’s careful work with the crossbow bolt in front of him. It’s obvious how much the craft means to him -- it’s quite mesmerizing to watch.

“You’re really good at this. Did your dad teach you?”

Daryl stops for just a split second and draws in a breath. He rolls his shoulders back, trying to rid himself of the thoughts that come to mind at the mention of his father. His first instinct is to lash out and shut down -- and he probably would if it were anyone else; however, you have been nothing but kind to Daryl since he and Merle arrived at the makeshift camp. The idea of chastising you for your harmless curiosity makes his stomach turn. 

Daryl clears his throat and finally releases the breath he was holding. He resumes carefully sharpening the bolt in his hands.

“I taught myself.”

You nod at his explanation, trying to ignore his change in demeanor. Just as sudden as the softness in Daryl’s features came, it is replaced by his usual indifference. It’s as if for just a split second you were able to see through the brick wall that Daryl has erected around himself. He lets his defenses down just long enough for you to see that there is warmth behind the cold front. 

“Well, it’s really impressive. I don’t know anyone else who can use a crossbow or make their own arrows.”

Daryl nods and attempts to keep a straight face, fighting off a small smile.

“It’s really not that hard. My daddy had a load of hunting gear in our garage and with Merle always getting locked up, I had a lot of time to practice.”

You resist the urge to ask him more about his past. Based on his previous reaction, you can tell that it’s not a topic he’s comfortable with. Before you can change the subject, a rustling in the surrounding woods grabs both of your attention. You freeze in place, expecting the worst; however, Daryl springs into action. He grabs his crossbow and places his body in front of yours -- in this position, he’s managed to shield you from the source of the noise.

Daryl readies his aim and you brace yourself for a potential fight; however, before he can release the trigger, you grab his arm, stopping him in his tracks. Instead of a walker, Shane and Lori emerge from the woods. The smile on Shane’s face fades into a deep scowl as he takes in the scene before him. 

“What the hell is going on here?”

His words are laced with venom as his eyes narrow at Daryl, who still hasn’t lowered the crossbow. You give Daryl’s arm a gentle squeeze, silently pleading with him to not escalate the situation. He shakes off your touch but lowers the crossbow. You move in front of Daryl, hoping to diffuse the situation.

“Relax Shane, Daryl was just showing me how to make some arrows.”

Shane ignores you completely. His eyes don’t even leave Daryl as you speak.

“I told you to stay the fuck away from her.”

His voice raises and Daryl notices how you shrink away from Shane as he takes an aggressive step forward. His eyes narrow at Shane, who continues to dismiss you. Now he knows who made you feel so small. A surge of anger rises within Daryl, along with the need to protect you -- which is quickly becoming a common feeling for him nowadays. Daryl mimics Shane’s actions, taking a step forward and sizing up the man in front of him. 

You watch the scene play out before you and before either of them can throw the first blow, you place yourself in between the two seething men. 

“I approached him. I couldn’t find you so I asked him for help, okay? Where did you go?”

Shane finally turns his attention away from Daryl and focuses on you. He places his hands on his hips as he looks down at you. Daryl’s brow furrows at the sight -- this isn’t the posture of a loving boyfriend. No, right now Shane looks like a parent scolding a child. He lets you take control of the situation; however, he anxiously observes your interaction with Shane, ready to jump in if Shane’s anger gets the better of him. 

“I was helping Lori look for Carl.”

Anger is still evident in his voice, but he seems to have settled down to a simmering rage. Daryl raises a brow at his explanation. He doesn’t say anything, but he finds it very unlikely that there would be anything less than a full search party if any of the children in camp actually went missing. Daryl shifts his gaze to Lori who is still standing on the edge of the woods. Her face is flushed, her hair is disheveled, and her clothing seems to be thrown on haphazardly. It seemed like she and Shane had gotten into some trouble out there, but neither of them have any blood on them. They both, however, are covered in dirt -- hell, Shane looks like he just rolled around the forest floor.

Oh. Oh.

Daryl looks at you, hoping you just came to the same conclusion. You know Shane is lying. In your search to find him earlier today, you noticed that Carol was watching Carl and Sophia play down by the lake. And as much as you want to call out his deception, you also don’t want to start yet another fight. 

You let out a sigh and give Shane a solemn nod. Lori uses this moment to excuse herself from the conversation -- muttering something about finishing the laundry. Shane shoots Daryl a final glare before grabbing your shoulder and pulling you away from the archer. Daryl watches you both walk away. Eventually, Shane releases his hold, leans his head down, and whispers something in your ear. You nod at whatever he says before casting your eyes toward the ground. Shane, on the other hand, stands up a bit taller at your reaction and walks off confidently. 

Daryl clenches his fists as you look in his direction. Embarrassment washes over your features once you notice that he is still watching you. Daryl frowns as you drop your head and walk off in the direction of your tent. You shouldn’t be embarrassed -- Shane should. He may have promised Shane that he’d stay away from you, but Daryl decides, at this moment, that he doesn’t give a damn. Nobody gets to treat you like that.

Taglist: @darylsl0ver@minervadashwood@hotgirlsshareaccounts@taterbbbug@dreamtofus@youcantstandit @ajlovesdilfs @prettywhenibleed @luvsvnlqt-things @evie-beanie @strnqer@marina-isabella@lissanovak@elissanatok@1tsk1tty@moejoeflow@ceoofdisappointment@jewellthebooknerd @callsignwidow @genderless-ghosty-boi

[multifandom-pleasures]

Can I have sonic/silver/shadow/scourge (separately)with a reader who was sold off for most of their life and really only knew that world. so when they were working together and stuff got stressful reader 'offered' themselves to the boys as an outlet for their stress while trying to make them feel better

A/N: loved this request sm !! i swear i could write even more for each one of them; but i did just little blurbs. i hope i did it well !!

sonic

you’d never seen sonic stressed like this before. he was pacing around his home, more restless than usual; and you observed him from your spot on the couch, sprawled out and certainly more relaxed than the blue hedgehog. you’ve lived with him for a time. he had saved you from a little trafficking ring where you’d spent a better part of your life in - it had taken you a while to grow accustomed to life without begging for scraps in unpleasant ways, and then being tossed into random strangers arms for hours on end.

you owed your life to him. so you could feel your own anxiousness building the more you focused on his little nervous ticks. the pacing back and forth, shoes thumping on the ground, his ears giving little twitches and his tail lowered. you didn’t know how to help him, he never spoke about anything that bothered him. he always brushed it off with a smile and wink, insisting he was alright. you knew better than to believe him.

you slinked off of the couch, making your way over to him. he jerked as you wrapped your arms around him from behind, tucking your chin against his shoulder. he laughed; it sounded nervous and forced.

“ hey - whatcha doin’ back there? didn’t even hear you. “ you hummed softly, fingers beginning to trace against his chest. you saw his ear flick as he tried to crane his neck to look at you, “ you alright? “

“ are you? “ you asked instead, looking up at him. you frowned as he gave you a cheeky smile and shrug.

“ always am! y’know I can get ansty sometimes when there’s nothing to do. “ but you could feel the tension in his body as you held him, shoulders drawn tight and his breathing was slightly labored. your fingers began to trail down his torso, and he instinctively grasped onto your wrist.

“ h-hey, cmon, what’s up? “

“ lemme take care of you. “ you mumbled, lips pressing to his shoulder, and he tensed further, “ you don’t have to tell me why you’re stressed, but at least let me help relieve some of it.. “ your other hand moved instead, drawing dangerously close to his crotch. he yanked himself away and held his hands in front of him as he faced you.

“ no, no, none of that. “ sonic said sharply, on instinct. he hated the thought of using you in such a way after what you’d been through. he sighed and retried, “ no, it’s okay.. don’t ever think you need to do that for me. “ he grasped onto your hands, and you stared up at him with a bit of guilt and anxiousness.

“ I just.. “ he chewed his lip for a moment as he thought, “ things have been piling up for me.. sure I have the others but - people rely on me. and it can be a lot sometimes. I worry I might not be enough. I worry I won’t be able to save people when I’m needed most. “ he bowed his head with another heaved breath, and his arms wrapped around you.

he pulled you into a hug instead, burying his face into the crook of your neck. you slinked your arms around his shoulders and after a moment of hesitation, brushed your hand over his quills. he melted into your embrace at the touch. his voice was muffled as he spoke again.

“ this.. this is better. “ he squeezed you gently, “ can you just hold me like this a while longer? “

“ of course, sonic.. “

silver

it was late, and silver should be well asleep by now beside you; but he wasn’t. you keep from your shared room to the living room, where he sat down with his head in his hands, staring down at what seemed to be a map of the city while illuminated by candlelight. being a protector of a fallen planet was not easy work, worrying for so many people.

you were one of the lucky ones he had managed to find and save. a fallen planet was not easy to those who lived on it either; desperate people will do anything to those of perceived to have less power than them. with the smoke that covered the sky, you had lost track of how many years you’d spent being taken advantage of.

you made your way over and sat down beside him, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple.

“ you should be asleep. “ silver spoke softly, as he always did. his tone was what had lulled you into security when he found you.

“ so should you. “ you countered, looking down to the map before him. unintelligible scribbles and plans written over it, all the inner workings of his mind put onto paper. you knew he wouldn’t sleep on his own, not while overthinking like this.

you rested a hand on his knee, and he lifted his head to look over at you. he gave a small smile and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“ get some sleep, I’ll be there soon, I promise. “ you gave a small shake of your head, your hand sliding further up his leg.

“ ‘m not tired.. “ you replied softly, lips pressing against his cheek, and then his jaw. he shuddered and melted into it; until your hand brushed over his crotch, where he jolted and took your hands. his muzzle was flushed and his breath was quick and trembling.

“ what are you doing? “ silver’s voice was quiet, unsure.

“ trying to help you. “ you replied, trying to work your wrist from his grip, “ you’re too worked up to sleep.. I can help you waste some of that energy; I’m good at it. “ his lips twitched into a frown, more out of sadness than anything as his mind caught up to what you were trying to do.

“ (y/n).. “ he sighed, his hand coming up to cradle your face, and you leaned into it, “ that’s not.. I don’t want to use you in that way. my stresses are my issue to take care of, not yours. and not in that way. “ his thumb stroked your cheek, “ I think to highly of you to do that. “

you frowned, shameful as you looked down at your lap. he crooned as he kissed your head, “ come on, love.. you’re right, we should both get some sleep. “ he waved off the candlelight he was using and rose from his spot. he helped you up along with him.

“ I adore you, (y/n). “ silver spoke as you made your way to the bedroom, “ know that. what would help me more than anything is having you by my side. that’s all I’ll ever need to get through this. “

“ okay. “ you whispered, settling into bed with the hedgehog, “ I love you. “

“ and I you. “

shadow

you jumped as you heard the door slam shut, knowing well shadow had come home. he didn’t usually come home upset but when he did, you knew it was because G.U.N was being unreasonable and while he could stand his ground against them; even he couldn’t deny certain missions. not when one had led him to you, where he had found you and saved you from the unfortunate life you had. you witnessed firsthand the rage in which he held.

you peeked from the doorway to watch him as he grumbled, tossing his gun down onto the table by the doorway, his quills bristled in frustration. you desperately wanted to help him, relax him somehow. you didn’t like seeing him upset. you inched your way out of the room, calling out to him with your voice light; not wanting to startle him.

“ shadow? are you okay? did something happen at work? “ you jumped as his head snapped in your direction, his expression alone making you shut your mouth. he was definitely not in the mood. he snarled as he made his way over.

“ what are you doing awake? can’t handle being alone for a moment too long? you always have to pester me with your useless questions; does it look like I’m okay? I get you may not have had much education where you were from but you can’t be stupid. “

you wished you could cave into yourself, make yourself smaller. he always said such harsh things when he was mad, directed at whatever or whoever was in the general direction of his view. you should have known better than to try and provoke that. you tried to keep your lip from wobbling as you dropped to your knees before him, and his look of anger flickered into confusion.

“ ‘m sorry, please don’t be mad at me. “ your fingers inched up his legs, and his eyes desperately flitted from your hands and your face, unsure of just what it was you were doing. you’d never done this sort of thing to him before. he winced as your fingers brushed at his thighs and he stepped away, your hands dropping to your lap.

“ no. “ shadow replied firmly, annoyance settling onto his face. he’d caught on, finally, “ get up. don’t be ridiculous; why would I want that from you? “

“ ‘m sorry. “ you sniffed, balling your hands on your lap, “ it’s.. it’s all I know to do. I don’t want you mad at me; I wanted to just make it up to you. please don’t hate me. “ you bowed your head, tears slipping down your face. you could hear him heave a sigh and he knelt before you. he tried to lift your face and you weakly fought against it, and the second time he was successful. he frowned at your tear-filled eyes.

he was clearly trying to determine how to fix this. emotions weren’t his strong suit, other than anger and pride. and he couldn’t even begin to imagine how your life was before he had found you; how complex it must be to still have those instincts engraved into your being.

“ I’m not mad at you. “ he decided to say, wiping your tears with the back of his fingers, “ my frustrations were.. misdirected. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, or.. insulted you. I should know better. “ you sniffled and nodded, to which he snorted softly; and then composed himself, “ I was offended on your behalf. I didn’t want you to think of me in that way, that I would use you for my own sake. “

he rose to his feet, helping you up gingerly, “ I helped you leave that place; I’ve heard what you’ve been through. it would be the last thing I would ask of you. not unless.. you decide for yourself. “ he averted his gaze for a moment and then focused, “ I apologize. “

“ it’s okay. “ you laughed tearfully, wiping off the rest of your tears onto your shoulder, “ are you hungry? I have your plate saved in the kitchen. “

“ I could eat. “ he nodded, “ care to keep me company? “ you smiled and tugged his hand to lead him to the kitchen.

scourge

“ fuckers! “ you heard scourge hiss from where you sat on his throne, entertaining yourself on your phone. you looked up to watch him stomping his way over, and you quickly got off to make room for him. he sat himself down and motioned for you to sit on his lap; he always insisted the weight of you on him relaxed him. you obeyed and looked up at him with a small pout.

“ what’s wrong? “ he groaned at the question and lolled his head back, as if remembering everything all over again; which only infuriated him more.

“ ungrateful citizens, that’s what! ya lead ‘em, ya let ‘em cause whatever chaos they want; and they still bitch and complain! “ you listened with little nods, letting him ramble on. it was the least you could do. you didn’t agree with all that he did; but after he ran into you you being sold off on a corner, stopping you before you climbed into the car of your next customer. once he’d found out what it was that was going on, he went on a rampage. he nearly beat your seller and the customer to a bloody pulp, and insisted you stayed with him - so he could keep an eye on you.

you both knew by now he’d taken a liking to you, whether he admitted to it or not. you jumped as he slammed his hand down onto the arm of his thrown, lip curled in a snarl as he threw his crown off across the room.

“ I should teach ‘em all a fuckin’ lesson! I’m the goddamn king! I deserve respect! “ he leered down at you, his frown curling into a smile, “ dontcha think? they should all be like you; all nice and obedient. never talk back a word. “

you shivered lightly, a cold, unsettled feeling building in your chest. you still nodded. this had to mean something, did it? he wanted you to do something. with trembling fingers, you shifted on his lap to face him. he blinked and watched you curiously, startled by the sudden movement. your hands slid down his chest and torso, creeping closer to his crotch. it took a moment for it to process, but his face flushed and his hands came to take yours; stopping them just before they’d reached their destination.

“ h-hey! “ he laughed nervously, “ almost went a little low there, babe. what’s up with ya? “ your nervous look cause his smile to falter slightly, and he sat up a bit, “ hey, what happened? c’mon, y’can tell me. “

“ i thought.. I thought you wanted me to do something. “ you replied quietly, fingers twitching anxiously, “ to help you calm down.. y’know? “ he blinked as the words proceeded, and he frowned.

“ what? no - never. d’you think I’d make ya do that? after what ya went through? I know ‘m a shitty guy, babe, but I ain’t a monster. “ he huffed, bringing your hands to his lips, and you flushed as he kissed over your knuckles, “ nah. I just like bein’ pissy and go on complainin’. I was only complimentin’ ya with what I said before. “

“ yer nice, and quiet, and you let me go on and on when someone’s got me riled up. I didn’ word it right. that was my fault, doll. “ he hooked his arm under your legs to shift you back into your original position, and coaxed you to lay your head against his chest, “ never gonna be a thing I ask of ya, alright? ya been through enough already. “

you nodded against him, relaxing into his hold with a sigh. you felt his hand smoothing over your head, and down to your and to give it a squeeze, “ yer alright here, doll. “ you closed your eyes with a smile, listening to him as he picked up his ramble again.

“ but those anti-mobian’s; ‘m tellin’ ya doll. they’re nothin’ but a mess, gotta just go down there and.. “

[phlurrii]

It’s finally time to introduce the secondary project I’ve been working on >;Dc

I’ve had this queued for sometime in June, did not check when, so hello on [random date in june] ;D

I’m also here to explain how I’ll be posting this stuff going forward! Everything will be posted here, on my main account before being reblogged over to Soul’s Anchor a side bog with the place holder title. Unless it deals with more adult/suggestive content or heavier topics, of which will be exclusively posted to Soul’s Anchor side blog. As I don’t want certain themes alongside AM! I’ll also be referring to this series as Anchor for short! I will encourage any and all Questions, Mentions, and Thoughts to be directed there for those interested and those who are not, dw! You’ll only see the initial posts here, no asks or follows up, but this is still my art account and I shall enjoy it as I please ;3

Brief Synopsis about the Story:

A queer love story following a cursed pirate and a cult refugee implanted with a god’s eye as they combat the reality of living in a world which was created solely to feed the gods that govern it. All whilst a sapphic couple attempt to help guide the pair along a path to to a better future, one that’s validity comes into question. A dark fantasy story that aims to represent the disabled community, the LGBTQIA+, and SA survivors written by fellow members of these communities.

Also brief disclaimer, I, Phlurrii, am simply an ally to the disabled community, my partner in crime writing alongside me, ArtJunco on Instagram, is our resident community member ;]

Anyways onto the meat of this!

Below is a collection of some, emphasis on some, of the concept art and processes I went through to develop and create one of the two main characters, Lumae.

Here are some of the earliest ideas, the basic thoughts I had in my brain when developing this goober after a 3 hours pacing in my kitchen at 1 am when that inspiration struck. His hair was the HARDEST bit for me to figure out. Which sucked as usually the hair is one of the first things I figure out because of how much I love it, so it was Agony while brainstorming that part.

I also briefly considered a goatee, however it was so cruelly shot down by my dear friend. So in stead we compromised that he may get one later down the line story wise… and see how we feel then. However, upon finally figuring out his hair I was bloody elated, still has some tweaks now and then, but the base is there.

As for this next concept, this was actually the FIRST thing created for Lumae and what started everything else about his character/design! His eyes! They are still my favourite but about him and something I adore whole heartedly! They are the core of his character ;3c

These next few are early refs and mock ups of his full design, testing our colours, experimenting with shading, getting used to drawing humans again, and general concepts I had for him as a character! Also a sneak peak at Ayric, our second main goober for this story! Who was lovingly designed and created by ArtJunco!

And finally his most recent WIP ref! The only thing currently bothering me about his design is the colour for his boot covers, I have no idea what to do with them so I’d you have suggestion or ideas, sincerely, feel free to shoot an ask to the Anchor blog! I’d genuinely love outside opinions!

As for the main curiosity of why I’m doing this, for those that missed the last post, I’ll give a brief explanation below ;3

To help with burnout so I can hop between fixations, help to avoid losing interest in AM in the future!

Keep up practicing humans and critters alike.

To take a break from story telling to do story building! Give the telling part of my brain a break, while still making cool stuff ;]

To have a more interactive blog with ya’ll! One where I’ll likely be asking advice and discussing a lot more hypotheticals, doodling asks, and general audience interaction given I am not bound by any updates! Purely just “ooo… shiny-“ and anyone is welcome to join me ;D

Last thing I request is to please read Anchor’s blog bio/description before you follow, as this story will deal with subjects not suited for all audiences posted/discussed exclusively on that blog.

Anywho, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed this brief intermission to kickoff the second project being public!

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Japan is Winning on Kisses & Other Alternate Realities

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - It would be great if we got the alternative romance with dead Kram from Tai’s perspective (JBL style.) Still I like this show. It’s a little bit like I Feel You Linger in the Air only with a love triangle. And while I'm not a fan of triangles as a general rule, I don’t mind it here because the set up is clever. Wayu and  ao are fun sides too. It sure is moving very quickly, which I like. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. But that’s normal for me with this kind of Thai drama. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 4 of 8 - They are extremely sappy boyfriends. I love that mom has a secret gf. Could we please have more of them? The love triangle sides are ridiculous, but I do like that it’s all out in the open. I also like they are actually addressing the complicated parental dynamics of owning a sex club. Honestly, I think Khem should have to be a host too. Learn him the right way, girl!

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 9 of 12 - It’s good, I like the fallout and them actually having to deal with crazy fans and past relationships. They’re so good at communicating it’s kind of a pleasure to watch them suffer through external pressures, because I have faith that they can make it through.

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 6 of 8 - They are such cute puppy dads and so clearly meant to be together, the fact that they aren’t is just frustrating. The fight thing was stupid. And not a whole lot happened... plus singing. I’m getting fatigued with this one. 

1000 Years Old ep 7 of 12 - Did I miss something happening, or did nothing happen? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 6 - It’s so boring, there’s so much guitar playing, and it got weirdly voyeuristic (in a very much not sexy way). I’m totally out. DNF

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) ep 3 of 6 - I can’t tell if this is trying to be a BL Romancing the Stone, or a BL Hangover, or both. The problem with situational comedy is it must be both situational and comedic, not just option one. The problem with calling something BL, is that it must be BL. This show got 1 of 3 claims correct. 33% is not a passing grade. DNF 

Honestly, it's the HANDS with these two. They do beautiful beautiful things with their hands. If you're one of those hands-obsessed BLabies you should be watching LIBTSTA!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 6 of 11 - So the worst finally happened. The mountain of pain has fallen down upon us. And now, hopefully in the second half things get better for our boys. But what a rough ride. Normally, this is not my style of BL, but everyone is doing such a gorgeous job with it, I can’t fault it… except that it hurts. The red thread symbolism was elegantly done. I’d like to hope we get a reunion in the next one, but knowing this style of series they’re gonna draw it out. There's gonna be a more pain first.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 4 of 6 - Those fuck me puppy dog eyes were perfectly executed. I would not have been able to resist either. Gosh they are so damn cute. This is a great show.

Jazz for Two (Korea Gaga/grey) eps 1-2 of 8 - This comes from the Shoulder to Cry On team so I'm scared, but this one is all actors* not idols so maybe they'll be braver. Boy howdy does it have a fantastic opening sequence. Also the lead is fucking adorable. Mr Broody McBroodypants is cute too. Korea sure loves “pretty but broken.” On the JBL end of the spectrum, is everyone in love with their siblings? That’s weird. The dining room scene was painful. All in all, it's good, I'm intrigued. Let's see how you go little show.

I stand absolutely corrected the lead is a member of NEWKIDD (in my defense I'd never heard of them until Build Up last month). I did recognize him from To My Star because at the time I thought he was too pretty to be only a side character.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 10 fin - Again there was overuse of previous footage and maudlin navel-gazing grief over something we knew was going to happen. So I didn’t really feel much emotional connection to the drama. 7 year time gap.? t was a cute reunion but the moral quandary never really got resolved. I don’t know how to rate this, I’m not sure I will ever watch it again, so that is a big mark against it.

There’s nothing objectively wrong with this BL except how upsetting it is because of the foundational pygmalion story - grown man falls in love with an android who is basically both his slave and, by maturity level, a child. Yet that premise is crystal clear from the get go, so we watch it eyes open. The actors are cute, the romance sweet, the physical chemistry on point (of course, it’s Taiwan) and yet I was left ultimately unsettled by the concept, content, and plot. 7/10 

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 7 of 8 - I'm so ready for this to be over, and for Gaga to have something good on. Soon please?

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) - It's too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute verticals, I don't have that kind of TikTok endurance training. Waiting to binge.

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

Tangential to the genre

There has been the occasional discussion on this topic here in this little corner of tumblr so I thought there might be a few intersted in this podcast: AmericanThaiGuy Ron Weaver on the Complicated Issue of Racism in Thailand (The Bangkok Podcast)

Thailand passed its Marriage Equality bill through the lower house. It's expected to pass the high house and get signed by the King, but that hasn't quite happened yet.

And MaxTul dropped a photo shoot.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

3/31 The Next Prince (Thai ????) 12 eps - trailer. ZeeNew in a fantasy/historical set in a palace where Zee plays a knight and Nu a prince - YES PLEASE. (Apparently this is just the pilot, not the start of the actual show, see comments.)

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast. Dual languages.

Hum, trash-watch-a-licious?

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube iQIYI) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

4/11 Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan ????) 10 eps - Kindly Ryota goes off to uni only to find his new roommate is his childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend and Ryota tries to help him figure out why, they fall in love along the way. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake.

4/11 Gray Shelter AKA Gray Currents (Korea ????) 4 eps - SooHyuk is only just surviving and reunites with YoonDae, an old friend. They end up living together. One of the leads is played by Choco of Choco Milk Shake.

4/18 At 25:00, in Alaska AKA 25 Ji, Akasaka de (Japan Gaga - may not be global) 10 eps - Yuki lands his first starring role in a BL drama alongside superstar Asami (previously his senior at uni). Said superstar suggests they form a sham relationship until filming concludes. As they actually begin to fall in love, the spotlight begins to burn.

Seriously? You're killing me with these titles, boys.

4/26 My Stand-In (Thai iQIYI) 12 eps - adaptation of Chinese novel "Professional Body Double" by Shui Qiang Cheng. Stars Up (Lovely Writer) and Poom (Bake Me Please) directed by the same team as KP (not a recommendation IMHO - my biggest criticism of that show was the clashing directing styles). This one looks well complicated, lemme try: Joe is a stuntman for famous actor Tong. Joe falls in love with Ming but Ming sees Joe as nothing more than a Tong-replacement. After learning this horrible truth, Joe dies. Joe then wakes up in the body of another man also named Joe. He manages to rebuild the same life as before—with the same people eventually re-meeting Ming. Ming wants Joe back but Joe doesn't understand why. But Ming seems to know what's going on and wants to give him some kind of explanation.

I'm exhausted just trying to describe the plot.

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner) and Best, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENT

Just these two, in my head, rent free. Thanks Japan!

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy. (With so many tags when does a weekly tumblr post become a newsletter? That is this week's philosophical question...)

[fridgrave2-0]

(something for partners in crime au where felix and turbo both go gamejumping)

once felix overheard a conversation ralph had with gene. ralph was (once again) trying to get positive attention from nicelanders and said that him breaking the building means nothing bc felix has a magic hammer and puts zero effort into the house, for him fixing it is super easy. and this thought stayed in his head. felix started thinking a lot about what he's doing in his life and that without his hammer he is a nobody. on his own he can't fix shit, and when he tried to build something it was worse than what ralph made in the movie for q*bert. it got to the point when felix went to tapper's and got drunk for the first time, and turbo had to get him out of this. turbo was genuinely worried for felix because they knew each other for several years at this point and never it was so bad. mostly it was turbo who had some bad times and felix was comforting him, but now they switched roles in this situation, and turbo tried his best to help. he reassured felix that he'll help him learn at least the basics of building stuff on their own without the hammer, and this was able to cheer felix up. they were taking bricks and other junk to try and make something new out of it - and some time after they actually were able to make some progress, and turbo decided to live in one of the houses (they were experimenting in turbotime most of the time) and while they were working on it, turbo was slowly helping felix accept the fact what his worth doesn't start or ends on having this hammer, and tho it definitely does its job it's not disregarding felix's personality or skills. like yeah, he's the greatest racer in the arcade, but he still continues training and working on his skills, and it's totally ok what felix needed time to get there as well

in the end it helped felix a lot, and after weeks and months of practice he was ready to try something new. building things on his own actually made felix realize that he loves working on design and styles. every building he was making was unique and special because he was putting his soul into it, and this creative process made felix feel something he only knew when he was with turbo. like he actually was alive and not just a piece of code made by someone. the things he was making were his, they were reflecting his personality, his feelings. and they were making him happy when he was ready to try and change niceland, it was the project he put the most of him into. with turbo's (unexpected) drawing skills they designed a completely new building, detailed and magnificent. felix was remaking the niceland for the whole night going beyond the limits of his coding, the hammer was used only to solidify the changes. the house turned out to be just what he wanted, and it was beautiful. for a brief moment even turbo was out of words, he couldn't turn away from the piece of art felix created. there was nothing like it in the arcade, and perhaps even in the whole world. for some unknown reason turbo felt inspired that day, doing his best to break his own limits on the track later that day. he wished he could just return to fix-it felix jr and see the happiness and pride flourish in his boyfriend's eyes. felix did deserve it like no one else

but when turbo came back this evening, niceland looked like it always did. a dull brick penthouse. he found felix at the dump, he looking at pieces of broken marble and colored stone with an empty face. "the game is programmed so that when the building is repaired, it returns to its original appearance. when the day just started, there were untouched bits, something what ralph didn't break. but in the end, everything was wrecked." felix hugged his knees and sobbed when turbo sat down next to him. "it all was for nothing. i can't exceed the code. no matter what i do, it will be destroyed! all i can is to fix this stupid house over and over and over again until they decide to unplug my game. we don't have any control over our lives. this is what's left for us." felix grabbed a piece of marble and threw it far into the pile of red bricks, his hands were shaking when turbo caught them in his. felix couldn't see the anger in his eyes growing. when turbo pulled felix closer, he glanced over the glass of the cabinet and looked at the arcade. "don't worry, love..." he gently stroked felix's hair, "i will figure it out. i promise." it was january of 1987

[thatseitagremlin]

gremlyn's danganronpa: despair time x digimon au

born to draw / world is a fuck / blender em all / i am au man / 410,757,864,530 unfinished wips /ref

everyone in the image is in elementary school age. this started because i wanted to draw kid charles in a stupidly oversized lab coat and stupidly oversized square glasses and it spiraled into this (though the au itself has been in the works for far longer)

as usual, yapping about the au under cut! but there is a LOT of text down there holy Shit. allusions to Certain DRDT Character Development Spoilers; knowledge about digimon isn't necessary but will be helpful! :)

the au's bones / plot summary

ultimate titles and hope's peak academy do not exist in this universe. the tragedy never happened. everyone still has their respective talents, which helps some characters (e.g. min is a normal student living an average life) and hurts others

mai akasaki is this universe's first ever chosen child / digidestined. she encounters her partner digimon, makes all kinds of friends (everyone else in the pic except teruko) who she loves dearly (even if all of them drive her up the wall in their own unique ways), and eventually (high school age), all of them get isekai'd to the digital world!! they get to go on a fun adventure and improve as people and be closer friends!!!!!

until the part where mai dies an untimely, Brutal death during the final battle. which was Not Supposed To Happen. Whoops!

her death and the circumstances surrounding it cause her friend group to fracture, and most of them do not cope well at all.

i'll probably make a separate post for this, but tl;dr after the final battle; hu and ace initially stay in the digital world to clean up the final battle's aftermath, with differing outlooks on life -> charles has a breakdown + remembers his buried childhood memories, preventing him to function for a good while -> whit tries to take care of him just as he once did but his shitty coping mechanisms and refusal to acknowledge anything make the overall group disorder even worse -> david secludes himself in the digital world after a week of no contact -> xander tries looking for him and david avoids him. worst situationship in existence -> j and arei run away from their respective families and stay together. funniest situationship in existence -> arei realizes how fucked everyone is and is determined to honor mai's memory by keeping tabs on everyone and making sure her stupid friends will be alright

a few years after (depending on how old everyone actually is in canon— college age?), when things have somewhat settled and half of them (arei, j, ace, charles) have moved on, working for their futures, a message from mai's partner digimon is sent to everyone. it's something along the lines of "Bring* Teruko Tawaki to the Digital World and we'll revive** Mai"

*teruko would probably die in exchange

**they don't know and can't know in what form would mai Hypothetically come back in

teruko is just trying to survive with her scraggly cat who she definitely does not project onto. now she has to fend off a bunch of weirdoes with their own funny animals that are trying to?? kidnap her???????? her bad luck kicks in and an innocent stranger (eden) gets dragged into this mess too so she's morally obligated to let said innocent stranger get away as far as possible. (un?)fortunately, eden wants everyone to be happy, so she isn't leaving until teruko's safety is also guaranteed

teruko and eden get front seats to mai's friends having too many internal conflicts and moral crises about potentially sacrificing an uninvolved stranger's life to bring their friend back

i have no idea how this ends. i just want to do some Character Building (bullying my blorbos)

digimon & crest assignments (major characters)

people who at least know of digimon adventure will now notice that all of the digimon here are the baby forms of partners relevant in digimon adventure continuity. it is very much intentional! ^w^

in this universe, digimon partners are "reflections of their human partner's souls", and can be roughly categorized into three groups: those who resemble their human, those who resemble their human's ideal self, and those who are direct manifestations of their human's problems

it is indeed possible for one to project onto their digimon

everyone meets their digimon partners during childhood. since the digimon hatch and grow up in the "real world", they take a while to evolve, and seem to change along with their humans

also this is where i put the disclaimer. i use jp terms and names 95% of the time soryr if you grew up with the dub :pensive:

hu: puroromon -> morphomon, crest of love. happy little butterfly :> butterflies represent change and rebirth, but hu's partner can't evolve like everyone else's partners even after their adventure? even after all these years, morphomon is still stuck in her child stage? how strange...

(morphomon evolves to hudiemon in arc 2 after hu finally accepts that things have changed irreversibly and she has to move on from the past, too)

ace: tokomon -> patamon, crest of courage. the direct manifestation of ace's fears, fate has seen it fit to give him exposure therapy by making patamon a snappy little dog that evolves to a horse (unimon).

(patamon -> unimon -> manticoremon -> kentaurosmon? i can't decide the final stage quite yet, but since his character substansially grows in arc 1, he unlocks said final stage before the end of arc 1)

david: tsunomon -> gabumon, crest of hope. i had to give xanvid agumon and gabumon because... You Know. whatever they're having good luck with that shit! gabumon's thing about being a reptile that wears a beast's fur coat to seem tougher is a. masking thing. i think. gabumon also could behave like how david was as a child

(gabumon -> garurumon -> weregarurumon -> cresgarurumon. yellow. cresgarurumon is unlocked during the final battle but can't be accessed again until after david and xander finally have a successful mutually civil conversation)

xander: koromon -> agumon, crest of light. protagonist energy. agumon is like a second xander and they constantly enable each other

(agumon -> greymon -> metalgreymon -> blitzgreymon. red. blitzgreymon is unlocked during the final battle but can't be accessed again until after david and xander finally have a successful mutually civil conversation)

good place to mention that i could swap david and xander's crests (david light / xander hope) and it'd still work. i personally interpret light as living and valuing life, even with the destinies and purposes one is burdened with, and that's why i gave it to the man with the definition of survivor's guilt hidden in his bio. also haha david "dubious protag" chiem and the funny h word. i would need to blender these two longer to pin down their crests once and for all but i'm leaning towards david hope / xander light for now

j: mochimon -> tentomon, crest of integrity / reliability. the juxtaposition of cute, squishy mochimon vs a ladybug that emits ELECTRICITY that evolves to even COOLER and SCARIER bugs!? tentomon is also more sympathetic than j to contrast them being the most judgmental person in this cast

(tentomon -> kabuterimon -> atlurkabuterimon blue -> rhinokabuterimon. unlocked before the end of arc 1 when j starts being more understanding of others without renouncing their own moral compass)

arei: pyocomon -> piyomon, crest of friendship. piyomon used to be the snappier, harsher one to protect arei from her sisters, but as they grew up, it's almost like their personalities reversed somehow...?

(piyomon -> cockatrimon -> delumon -> griffomon. the only stage that can fly is griffomon. unlocked before the end of arc 1 after arei's ch2e13 speech)

charles: tanemon -> palmon, crest of knowledge. plant baby that i jokingly call "charles jr" in my notes, just because the thought of palmon being charles' lab assistant and wearing goggles + labcoat was really cute...

(palmon -> sunflowmon -> toropiamon -> hydramon. poisonous guys. probably unlocked before the end of arc 1? i'm still figuring out how charles' arc would work if he grew up with whit, because on one hand a friend would help him, but on the other said friend is Whit Young and all the backstory involved with him)

whit: pukamon -> gomamon, crest of sincerity / purity. gomamon is more responsible than her partner though she's still pretty chill. i want to make her behave like whit's (idealization and idolization of his) mom, but it's probably gonna take like 5 years until he says anything more about her

(gomamon -> rukamon -> piccolomon? -> marinangemon. piccolomon was the best link i could figure out between a dolphin and a holy-adjacent sea angel. also this man is NOT getting marinangemon until late arc 2 at least. he needs the entire party to talk sense to him)

mai: nyaromon -> tailmon, crest of miracles. for Plot Reasons tailmon is silly!monotv. goofy and self-deprecating and makes shitty jokes. disappeared after mai's death and returns after a timeskip to implore mai's friends to bring it teruko tawaki

(tailmon -> kabukimon -> ofanimon. it's a lucky coincidence that kabukimon happens to be a tailmon armor evo. final stage unlocked during the final battle)

teruko: nyaromon. it looks like one at least. it's totally a nyaromon guys it's just like mai haha -> meicoomon, crest of fate. a scared kitty :( the manifestation of what remains of teruko's wish to have friends and trust others. meicoomon also appears to drive other digimon berserk just by being near them for long periods of time; a variation of teruko's bad luck, and the reason why these two are basically bound to each other. since teruko's bad luck hurts other people and meicoomon's "bad luck" hurts other digimon

(meicoomon -> meicrackmon vicious mode -> raguelmon. you know. probably a late evolver?)

eden: petitmeramon -> solarmon, crest of kindness. she isn't here but she's the most important character who i didn't draw. Sorry Eden. but solarmon is also like a second eden and they constantly enable each other

(solarmon -> clockmon. it's not that eden isn't getting development, it's just that i need clockmon to be plot relevant and i don't know what the two stages after could possibly be.)

digimon assignments (minor characters)

everyone in this part is irrelevant to the larger plot but i didn't wanna completely leave them out, esp since thinking of their hopes peak-less backstories could be really fun!!

however i have No Idea about what digimon most of these evolve to aside from like. canon stuff

min: minomon -> wormmon. bookworms :>

rose: budmon -> lalamon. silly plant thing :> they're -_- and :o buddies. evolves to togemon

nico: bowmon -> loogamon. as a nod to survive, i think loogamon is the one partner who can't talk in human language, but is very expressive? and nico quickly learns how their partner communicates and how to communicate with their partner

veronika: pagumon -> porcupamon. i had to give her the Spooky Bear Digimon there was no other way around it.

levi: tsumemon -> bemmon. ourple. generally the "unnatural" / unknown digimon tend to be purple, i just picked bemmon since it's probably getting a new evoline in liberators soon

arturo: puyoyomon -> jellymon. i had Absolutely Zero Idea for this guy and settled on Ghost Game's bastard of a jellymon because i want them to beef with each other

backstories and situations

mai is a perfectly normal girl with a loving family and many friends. her partner digimon isn't a "partner" in the same way everyone else's digimon are, but rather an individual (hence the monotv-like personality) who "chose" mai to be the hero of a predetermined story. a story that would end in its heroes becoming better people, having hope for the future

not all heroes succeed, though

charles and whit are childhood friends! yippee! they've been friends and stayed friends throughout most of their lives :) elliot and whit's mom still die, and charles still forgets about the former and possibly the latter :) i wonder where whit got those coping mechanisms from aha :D

i don't have concrete ideas for anyone else's backstory yet Sorry

the digimon partners could pass off as plushies in their baby forms but most of the cast probably had to spill the beans when they evolved to their child-sized forms forms

ryan keeps tempting j to unleash tentomon everytime paparazzi annoy them, to which the only thing stopping j from doing so is tentomon himself. elliot bullies palmon in the same way he bullies charles (affectionately). elizabeth treats gomamon like an actual dog and their neighbors think the young household has a dog who loves swimming a lot. patamon and agumon are popular with their partners' younger siblings. piyomon actually has successfully attacked arei's sisters

i think it'd be really funny if eden is popular enough in town to inexplicably at least know about the non-relevant characters + their digimon, no matter how unlikely. maybe classmates with min and rose, met nico in a cat cafe and stayed in contact, levi works nearby, saw arturo and jellymon argue in public

i'm not a shipper by any means, so i can't and won't write explicitly romantic relationships. but if it helps, my initial thoughts for relationships were queerplatonic charwhit, jarei situationship where neither of them know or care wtf they're doing, xanvid broken pedestals and breaking up in every way possible, and hu + ace... whatever you call "most divorced pair of people despite 1) never marrying and 2) one of them being a gay man". feel free to do your own spin on things though!

also little fun tidbit: the digimon's base colors (except teruko's nyaromon) are colorpicked from digimon world championship sprites just as a fun little challenge, and the color-coded lineart is meant to showcase that they're digital lifeforms physically existing in the real world

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 16

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

Kate: …Nn…Where is this?

I regained consciousness on the cold floor.

(That’s right…I ended up smelling something that came from behind me…)

(is this…a warehouse…somewhere?)

My head still felt heavy as I raised it, and stood up.

(I’m not tied up…)

I sighed in relief, but then—

Kate: …!

When I sensed a presence, I turned around and saw a boy and girl looking pale and trembling.

(Who are these kids?)

(...Could it be that—)

~~ Flashback ~~

Barkeep: These days you hear a lot of young men and women get attacked or go missing.

--

Liam: Lately, young people have been getting attacked or going missing.

Ellis: Do you mean the incidents Victor and Will are investigating?

~~ End flashback ~~

(...Did I end up getting involved in the incident?)

While I sat there in surprise, I suddenly heard footsteps from the darkness.

Man in a black hood: Looks like you’re all awake.

One, two, three, four men with black hoods over their eyes appeared.

(These were the criminals who attacked me…)

They each held either a gun or a knife.

(I thought I was glad that I wasn’t tied up…How naive)

The fact that I had such freedom meant that there was no way you’d get away.

Depending on what they do, my life could be taken instantly.

I went pale with fear and fell to my knees.

(Calm down…I’m a fairytale keeper trained by Roger)

(Out of everyone here, I’m the one most familiar with “evil”)

I felt for the gun strapped to my garter belt. Luckily that wasn’t taken away.

(Everyone should soon realize that I’ve disappeared)

And then Crown…Roger will come save me.

The evil Crown was the best group you could have as your ally.

(Besides, Crown’s been following this case)

(If they thought that saving me would help solve this case, then they’d be on it now)

I just had to wait.

(...I’ll need to buy some time)

(Or else…the kids and I—)

A shiver ran down my spine when it felt like the Grim Reaper was drawing near. I mustered up all my strength and stood in front of kids to protect them.

Kate: …Why are you doing this?

Man in a black hood: I don’t see a point in explaining ourselves to someone who’s about to die.

(“Someone who’s about to die”...)

Meaning they plan to kill us in the end.

(We’re not being held for ransom)

(They kidnap random youths)

(But…why would they kill all these people?)

I didn’t understand their intentions.

That made me anxious, and after putting all that effort into standing, my legs started shaking.

Look for a chance to escape

Beg for your life

Provoke him +4 +4

Kate: …It’s not like you’re going to let us run. If we’re waiting to die, then wouldn’t it be nice to have something to take with us to the afterlife? But if you can’t even give us that…then do what you want.

A look of annoyance crossed his face and he gulped audibly.

But the provocation did its job and the hooded man started to talk with an air of confidence.

Man in a black hood: In this world, there’s a thing called “being useless”. Withered flowers, abandoned buildings, dead people. However, there are some people who find value in these.

Kate: There are people who value us even after we die?

(I think…Roger and I had a conversation like this before)

~~ Flashback ~~

Kate: Roger, what’s this law written here in “Dissection Laws”?

Roger: As you know, medicine’s advancing pretty rapidly in England. With that comes a lot of dissections performed by doctors and researchers. Now here’s a question. What do you think the problem with this is?

Kate: …They run out of specimens to perform dissections on?

Roger: Correct. So then people go and collect human specimens however they can.

Kate: Ah, I’ve heard of people who dig up graves to steal corpses.

Roger: That’s why the “Dissection Law” was established to prevent that and ensure cadavers were acquired legally.

~~ End flashback ~~

(...Being regulated by law increases the shortage of human specimens)

That’s why they were killing young people.

Not for ransom.

But the corpses had value.

With this, I came to a conclusion—

Kate: Are you all doctors or researchers who need human specimens?

Man in a black hood: Oh? You’re clever…Who are you?

Kate: I don’t have a name to share.

Man in a black hood: Hmm, cheeky. You’re not entirely wrong, but… Let’s stop chatting. My client wants silent offerings.

The hooded man took something out.

What reflected the dim light dully was—

(A knife…)

--

Roger: This is supposed to be the base, but there’s nothing here…Did we get it wrong?

When they entered, the warehouse was only filled with silence and the smell of dust.

Nica: It’s too early to give up, no? These places tend to have dummies. Like hidden passageways or hidden doors.

Roger held up a finger to stop him from talking.

Roger: …I can “hear” something. There are people in the basement.

Nica: Oh, so that’s abnormal hearing. I thought it had its limitations, but it’s pretty useful.

Ale: Arf arf.

Jude: The dumb dog found somethin’.

Picking up Ale who was sniffing around a wooden crate and moving said crate out of the way revealed—

Roger: A hidden passageway.

Nica: See, I knew it. That means you’re likely right.

They descended into the hidden passageway.

At the base of the stairs, a lone candle casted a shadow on the wall.

Roger: There’s no hiding spots though. Guess we’ll have to get out.

After they emerged, someone saw the shadows their shadows on the wall.

Man with mouth covered: …Who’s there!

10 men appeared, all with their faces covered by cloth.

Jude: Oi, quack. Keep goin’. Princess will be dead if ya don’t hurry.

Roger: …Jude

Jude: Huh? What’s with that face? It’s on your conscience if she dies. Go.

Roger: Sorry. I’ll waive your medical bill. Don’t die, Jude.

With that, Roger ran into the darkness.

Man with mouth covered: Hey, one’s running away. After him!.

The once quiet underground  space turned into a warzone full of angry shouts.

Nica: Oh, I caught something good. You might look mean, but you’re a quite the compassionate fellow aren’t you?

Jude: Don’t think ya got time to chat when you’re gettin’ attacked from behind.

Man with mouth covered: …Die!

Nica: …

Less than a second after noticing the shadow on a ceiling, a gunshot rang out from Nica’s hand.

He killed his target with precision without even looking.

Nica: Unfortunately, I’m not easy to kill. You chose the wrong people to fight.

Man with eyes covered: …Shit, I thought I had you…Gah.

Jude broke the man’s jaw with the tip of his shoe.

Jude: Shaddup.

Jude: …Who the hell are ya.

Cobalt blue eyes smiled at the cold gaze.

Nica: Nica Schwartz, a member of the German Empire’s Vogel. It’s cruel that you’ve forgotten after I’ve already introduced myself. I have a glass heart you know.

Jude: I’m not imaginin’ things when I say you’re too experienced for a mere lapdog. How’d you know ‘bout his abnormal hearin’?

Nica: Don’t worry, I know about you too. Jude Jazza, the president of a trading company. A company that deals in materials and food that don’t often face changes in demand, as well as luxury items and jewelry… You’re also skilled in handling what’s trending in the market. Having a diverse range of products limits risk, so you must be making a lot of money. …Want me to keep going?

Jude: Tch, all that snoopin’s makes me sick.

Nica: You need to know someone to get along with them. Don’t you think we’d get along, Mr. President?

Nica smiled suggestively. Then, multiple footsteps approached.

It appeared that the mens’ colleagues noticed that something unusual happened in the basement and assembled.

Nica: It’s rude to interrupt when I’m trying to solicit* someone. Let’s finish you off quickly.

Jude: Careful I don’t kick you by accident, Vogel lech.

Nica: That’s my line.

--

Meanwhile—The noises underground haven’t reached the warehouse where the kidnapped youths were being held.

Man in a black hood: Let’s stop chatting. My client wants silent offerings.

Kate: …

I gasped at the dull glint of the knife.

Man in a black hood: Ah, yes. You lot, make sure they only get one stab in the stomach. Our client wants the bodies as clean as possible…Ugh, drugging would’ve been easier.

Another man had warned the man with the knife out.

(There are 4 people…My gun has seven rounds. I can take them)

(However)

—Am I able to kill people?

Kidnapped girl: *sob* …No, I don’t want to die…

Kidnapped boy: Me too…Getting killed…In a place like this…

(...Don’t be scared, don’t hesitate)

(They need to be condemned for taking so many lives)

To not arouse suspicion, I slowly reached under my skirt and then pulled out my gun.

(Roger gave me this gun for self-defense)

(But…Now’s the time to use it)

I hated myself for being weak.

I felt frustrated and wanted to change, so I decided to get stronger by being with Roger.

(Roger would definitely kill them all)

An image of him shouldering the guilt while taking however many lives with his rifle popped up in my mind.

(That’s why, I—these people, kill evil)

I held my gun up and placed a finger on the trigger.

(...)

But my finger was shaking— 

Kate: Ah.

The bullet I resolved to fire went way off the mark and made a hole in the wall.

The hooded man turned at the sound and looked at me with my gun still aimed.

Man in a black hood: Pfft, hahahaha! You use a gun like a child playing with a toy.

Kate: Eek…

He grabbed my arm and took my gun away.

Man in a black hood: I’ll show you how you use a gun properly…When you want to kill someone.

Kate: …

The feeling of the barrel of the gun pressed against my temple was a firsthand lesson in the price of failure.

(Ah…Damn)

(So this is the end…)

The only sound I could hear was my own heartbeat, yet as I stared into the darkness, I wished that I could see Roger’s face one last time.

(Farewell, Roger…)

-

*The word Nica uses can also mean flirt, hit on, make a pass at :3