#i did a lot of research on youth fashion for this please appreciate it

[sols-actual-main-blog]

this is the whole piece btw, it's all the characters as teenagers

[regrettablewritings]

Can I please request B, F, and O for Benoit Blanc? I’m simping for this gentleman sleuth so hard.

I’m surprised you didn’t put DNUT just for the sake of reference 😂  Stuff is below the cut!

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?): While he isn’t against the idea to the point of fighting it, Benoit doesn’t strike me as someone actively looking to start a family, either. At least, not in the most traditional sense of what a family could be. He knows he’s not ancient, but he’s certainly not the very picture of youth, either. There’s plenty of things he’s not afraid to do in fear of appearing odd, but he can’t help but wonder if, perhaps, becoming a father at his age would appear peculiar.

Technically speaking, there’s nothing wrong with it, of course: He’s sure enough men his age have become fathers, and he knows plenty celebrities had at much older stages of life. But no matter what The New Yorker may think, Benoit knows he’s not exactly a celebrity; becoming a father at his age might appear less glamorous. And as flattering as the theory might be, he’s not so sure he’d be comfortable with the world knowing his virility in practice.

But, of course, things don’t always go the way we plan for them to. Just because he’s not actively looking to grow the family doesn’t mean it won’t somehow happen. It’ll catch him by surprise, no doubt, especially given how he’s so used to being able to predict things by calculation and logic, but it’s nothing he’s necessarily going to fight, either. If the great Benoit Blanc is to become a father to an actual baby instead of just a fur baby, then he’s going to accept that position with pride and zeal. (And much confusion, but that’s nothing a lot of research and a handful of classes and Youtube tutorials couldn’t fix.)

Benoit knows the impact a loving parent can have on a child, and he wants to assure any progeny of his is granted that chance. He won’t be a perfect father, he knows that, but he most certainly would want to make an effort to be one that they wouldn’t hate. He’s encountered way too many patricide cases to go lax on it all.

More to the point, however, he’s honestly just content with his family as it currently appears to be. He may come from more traditional and decidedly old-fashion means, but this doesn’t exclude the sleuth from possessing an open-mindedness toward the ever-changing image of what a family could be decreed and recognized to be. And sometimes, a family is just a peacockish gentleman with a thick drawl, his more grounded and snarky partner, and their handsome pet cat who is either plotting their deaths or actually enjoys it when they sing show tunes to him.

There are times when he looks back on his life so far and feels ribbons of regret, however. How might things have turned out if he’d settled down before? Would things have been better? Worse? More or less the same?

Well, whatever the case, he doesn’t intend to dwell on it too often or for too long; you’re here now, and if that’s all there was meant to be, then he’d take it without a moment’s hesitation.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?):

He’s not sure, if truth be told. There wasn’t really a precise moment or even necessarily one singular action that offered him any confirmation. The sting of Cupid’s arrow never actually radiated through him, so much as the realization flitted into his mind as a random memory might. It was simply a matter of fact to him one day: He absolutely adored you.

Part of him wanted to go into detective mode, to use that brain of his and search for a specific date that might have triggered the sensation, or to pester Elliot and Marta by using them as soundboards for his monologues and conclusion. Benoit Blanc is a self-aware man, he’s too old to be caught off guard by his own feelings like a schoolboy. But thankfully for all, he stops himself from doing so when he considers the stance that perhaps the feelings had already been present for months now, that there wasn’t any suddenness to the realization. A sense of jamais vu, but of the emotion. Jamais réalisé. Still, the ever-inquisitive spirit in him thirsted for an answer. He tried to satiate it.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that unlike most, you appeared to enjoy his monologuing. Most people would normally just sit there, the only feedback offered being blank expressions or ones that displayed how thrown off they were about his strange analogies. You, on the other hand, were always listening even when your eyes weren’t directly on him or if you appeared to be busy with something else. Sometimes, if you deemed it necessary, you would even throw in your own input. When he joked about how invested you were, you reasoned that you tended to do the same when you infodumped.

Going off that, he liked when you infodumped: Your entire person would gain a sprightliness to it, particularly in your eyes. The detective truly believed in the value of all sorts of knowledge, and he genuinely did appreciate whatever you had to offer, even when it only appeared to be trivia. The only downside to this was that you almost always would catch yourself and, casting your sights elsewhere, all that vibrancy from before would snuff out like a light. It would darn near break his heart to hear you apologize for “babbling on about such silly things.” He would always insist that it was quite alright, that you needn’t apologize, but you always assumed deep down that he was simply being courteous as all others in his position would be. The truth always was that he was being genuine, you deserved that much.

Maybe he thought you deserved that much because you were relatively patient with him. He didn’t think of himself as a nuisance but Benoit knew that to many, he was more of an acquired taste. He always tried to be polite and considerate but sometimes, his more abrasive traits would come to the foreground, especially when he was on the case. But you never seemed to get especially testy with him as Elliot would. If anything, you were quick to put him in his place with a gently-worded but sternly-spoken reminder that he needed to mind himself.

“The truth can only soothe you so much when you got a foot up your ass,” as you put it once. It got a smile out of him. Of course, he always knew you had some kind of wit about you; one that, while a bit more blunt than his, never failed to make him laugh yet force him to acknowledge the truth. He might’ve been known for his rich vocabulary, but he couldn’t help but admire your own, more direct means of getting the point across. He knew damn well that you understood everything he said, and sometimes he questioned if maybe your responses to him were so straightforward as a means of taunting him over his perceived verboseness.

Even if this were true, he found himself amused every time you opened your mouth. In fact, you were quickly becoming his favorite person to speak to. And he even dared to consider the possibility that, based on how you lit up every time he came to the office, perhaps the same could be said on your part . . .

Well, whatever the case, Benoit never got as far as he’d wanted to whenever he pondered the cause of his feelings for you. Much to his dismay, every effort was thwarted by himself: Every time he came to a theory, he would quickly become sidetracked by other thoughts of you. Eventually he became distracted to the point where every consideration he made could be counted on to be accompanied by some appraisal of your character. In short, he was simultaneously coming up fruitless and fruitful.

But then maybe those were the answers he was looking for. Of course, they weren’t in the usual format he was familiar with but he supposed it was for the best: Feelings weren’t the same breed of mystery as, say, a murder investigation. He didn’t count it as a failure on his part, however (given that Benoit Blanc wasn’t one to quit). No, he decided that perhaps it might’ve been better to keep his work and his play separate. He’d spent enough of his life revolved around solving mysteries, after all; this one, he concluded, was best enjoyed just being experienced as it was.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?):

It’s hard for you to choose, really: Benoit is a rather colorful man, after all, with his bright blue eyes and lack of fear regarding certain male accessories. But you do tend to veer towards shades of green. Specifically, peacock green because not only does he own a suit of similar shading, but also because frankly, due to his dandy-like nature, you couldn’t help but compare him to a peacock in your head. Sure, he lacked the arrogance associated with the bird, but what else could you compare a man with an assortment of floral ties and pretty-patterned pocket squares to?

Similarly, Benoit associates you with the color cranberry because of something in your wardrobe: Specifically, the red cardigan you were wearing the day you both met. Admittedly, he’s a twinge embarrassed that he couldn’t associate you with something more overtly romantic: He remembers that you like pink Starbursts but still give him half of yours; he remembers how you argue that black Converses are “the only valid converses” next to glittery ones; and he has no choice but to remember that godawful brown scarf you refuse to discard because “it’s still a good scarf and you’d already had it for this long.”

But you don’t mind. In fact, you’re elated and nearly swept off your feet at the fact: He remembers all the little things from the moment you two became acquainted, even though at the time he was under no awareness or intention that you would become so important to him. You know that, technically, it’s a part of his job to just commit things to detail, but you’ve seen this man forget website passwords and his own keys. Yet, if anyone were to demand that he recall three things from that fateful day, he would immediately recite about how you had a frog Beanie Baby resting on your computer monitor; that you were stabbing your Chinese takeout lunch with one hand and typing up a report with the other; and that you were wearing a cranberry-colored cardigan.

Sometimes, the first two bits were swapped with different things he remembered (all being true), but the one consistent memory that he would always bring up with be the cranberry cardigan. And frankly, you're satisfied with that bit alone.

Thanks for your patience!

[above-eternity]

Black Lives Matters and the moon signs

I am south asian and this is meant for non-black activists. The fight is far from over and here are some ways the signs can help the cause long-term, you should also check for your sun, rising, and mars signs. 

Quick note: Everyone should support the movement in the ways they can, there’s so much you can do from signing petitions, donating to organizations, shopping in black owned businesses, volunteering your time to organizations, protesting, and so many other ways. I thought it would be interesting to make an action plan for how everyone can contribute, based on their moon sign. Of course you should help in all ways you can but I was trying to highlight your strengths and how you might most successfully help. Let me know what you think! 

Aries moon: I’ve noticed that so many politicians have Aries moon and I think this is because you guys love, and are great, in leadership roles. If your school, college, or region doesn’t have a black lives matter chapter, consider starting a chapter. I think Aries moon would be best in vocal roles where they can clearly tell people why they support black lives matters and can clearly support politicians. I think you guys would be a great help in campaigning, taking to social media to show your support, and write blogs or articles to explain the need for this movement. Do research on politicians who vocally support black lives matters, look into what your council members have been saying so you know who you can support. Really consider joining a campaign for a politician you support and when we can go outside again, consider hosting info sessions and meeting with potential voters to get support for your politicians.

Taurus moon: I think of Taurus moons as doers, as relentless workers, and so I think you would be great helpers to the organizations such as ACLU, Equal Justice Initiative, Black Lives Matters, mutual aid funds etc. If you can’t go outside, I think you would be a great remote volunteer for the ACLU People Power, where you can spread information by call, text, and translate information for people to support the ACLU. Also, consider making master-posts with information and resources, because I know you guys can make very visually pleasing ones that are also easy to navigate. If you can leave the house, I think you could be very helpful as an on-ground volunteer that can navigate resources for protestors. Consider starting a book club where you read books by black authors about the black experience, or read books about privilege, the black lives matters movement, etc. (just google for it, you can find amazing reading lists) and hold discussions to discuss how you can be a good supporter.  

Gemini moon: Similarly to Aries moon, I think you guys would be amazing activists by vocally showing your activism through social media -- let’s be real, you are probably already big on social media -- and by doing research on the history and writing articles about the need for black lives matters. If you haven’t already, watch documentaries like 13th read some of the recommended books like Between the World and Me (just google for more recommended readings and documentaries). Take to social media and vocally support black community leaders, black owned businesses and art, and research and post possible black business alternatives to currently used companies that exploit prisoners with prison-industrial complex. A lot of gemini moons I know are artists, so consider writing about and making art for the black lives matters movement, and maybe selling art and donating some of the money to organizations. 

Cancer moon: I swear, you are some of the kindest people in the world, and you can use this to your advantage by talking to your racist family and friends to explain what’s happening and why they should be supportive as well. Do your research by watching documentaries like 13th and reading some of the recommended books like Between the World and Me (just google for more recommended readings and documentaries). I can see you successfully fight your racist friends and family members with so much evidence and logic that they have nothing to do but give in, and I think you’d do it in such a nice way people won’t shut down. In the same way, I think you’d be great on social media, I can see you successfully explain to people why the protests are needed etc. and doing it in a nice way that the conversations don’t lead to fights. Also, as cancer moons, I know how much your family and home space means to you, so you may be interested in learning more about systematic housing discrimination and be interested in joining grassroots organizations and supporting politicians who care about finding solutions to these issues. 

Leo moon: I’ve noticed that a lot of you guys are interested in the arts, and especially interested in film. Consider hosting over-zoom movie sessions where you watch movies and documentaries about the black experience, black lives matter movement, privilege etc. and having discussions afterwards. You may also be very interested in self-care and skincare products, so consider researching black owned makeup, skincare, apothecaries and pharmacies that you can share with your friends and followers on social media. Consider writing a blog post, article, or twitter thread about possible beauty care alternatives because I swear, you guys are the RULERS of self-care. If you can attend protests, I can see you guys playing music and dancing in protests and helping to keep the morale high. Also, be vocal about your support for the movement, because whether you’re being vocal on social media or with your family and friends, those who know you, listen to what you have to say. Keep bombarding your social media with support for BLM because you may lose some followers, but really, do you want to have those followers in your page in the first place? 

Virgo moon: Consider volunteering for organizations such as the ACLU people power and other grass-roots movements, where you can spread information and help these organizations function in an orderly manner. I think a lot of you guys have spent a lot of time developing a routine for yourself and finding ways to be neat, and I think it will be very appreciated by these organizations to have volunteers that can help them function. There are a lot of volunteers to some of these organizations, and it can be so difficult to keep order, but I can see you loving an organization and continuing to volunteer there for years and years, helping the organization’s work flow and new volunteers with your years of expertise. If you are not already doing research for living, consider doing research and writing about the history and the necessity of the black lives matters movement. I think one of the most complicated issues that a lot of people have a difficult time understanding is the public health crisis, how and why black and brown communities are more disparately effected by crisis such as the Covid-19, than other communities. As virgo moons are great at analyzing and writing, and I noticed that a lot of virgo moons are also interested in health issues in general, I think this is some important research you can do and simplify. If you are twitter, consider making a thread with information you find, it will be very appreciated. 

Libra moon: Your presence is so calming and harmonious, if you can get out, I think you guys would be amazing at the protests, where you can provide snacks, first-aid, water and other goods to protestors. If you are a law student or legal worker, consider getting training to become a legal observer so that you can provide legal protection to protestors. You will likely be very interested in shopping in black owned vintage shops, high fashion, and jewelry shops. A lot of libra moons I know are very interested in the arts, and you can take to social media to amplify the voices of black artists and community members. I’ve noticed that a lot of libra moons are interested in working with children and care a lot about youth, so maybe consider learning more about education reform and decolonizing the curriculum, and look into how you can act as a mentor to black and brown youth. There are many programs that are centered around mentoring black and brown youth to passing high school and getting into college, so consider joining one of these programs. 

Scorpio moon: Continuously write letters and emails to your council members, mayors, governors, and senators. If you can, get out there and protest because with your creativity, I know your posters and signs will not be missed. I swear your intuition is just insane, I think you guys would be amazing at outing racists and holding people accountable for what they say on social media. I’ve also noticed that many scorpio moons are interested in the arts and film especially, so perhaps consider hosting over-zoom movie sessions where you watch documentaries about the black experience and black lives matters, where you can also hold discussions afterwords. If you can come forward and discuss your privilege during these sessions, or really any other time you talk with your friends and family, they will listen because anyone that knows you, will know that you will end their whole career if they don’t listen to you. As I can see you discussing culture and arts with your friends and acquaintances, I think you’d also be interested in researching the strong influences black artists and musicians had to our culture as well. 

Sagittarius moon: Did you know you could use your credit card or travel reward points to donate to black lives matter organizations, like through JustGiving. Google this to learn more but we both know you have so many travel reward points. If you can go out, get out there and protest because I swear, no one has as much energy as you. I can see you, sag moons, making very interesting protest signs. I can see you playing music and dancing in the streets to keep up morale during protests. Also, you know you’d love shopping at a black owned vintage, etsy, thrift store for you and your friends. You can also take to social media to spread factual information about protests and what’s really happening because you guys have like a million acquaintances. As the eternal student, I think you guys in particular may also be interested in learning more about systematic racism in education and decolonizing the school curriculum, and may be interested in joining grass-root organizations for these issues. 

Capricorn moon: I swear no one can find deals like you, and so I think you would be amazing researching possible black owned business alternatives to exploitive companies that follow a prison-industrial complex. Also, let’s be real, I am yet to meet a cap moon that doesn’t enjoy retail therapy. I think you would love doing some shopping at black owned book shops, vintage shops, etc. and letting your friends and family know about these awesome businesses. If you are interested in writing-- from rambling on social media to writing in a blog-- I can see you writing very informative blogs and articles about why we should transition from using these companies that use prisoner labor to small businesses. I think you can write in a very clear way that shows anyone how the logical thing to do is to shop in small businesses. Also, as cap moons, I think a lot of you likely spent a lot of time thinking about (stressing over tbh) what job you want and what you need to do, so I think researching systematic hiring discrimination is something that will interest you, you can join grass-root movements, reach out to politicians, and do research on these issues. 

Aquarius moon: I think you are probably already subscribed to ACLU, change.com and gofundme, and honestly, I am yet to meet another aqua moon who isn’t a strong activist for some cause. I think aqua moons would love joining ACLU’s people power volunteers, where they can remotely call, text, and translate important information to send people. Or really consider volunteering for grass-root movements, if you are a student, consider joining and starting a black lives matters chapter is your schools and colleges. As you the humanitarian, you may also be interested in long term criminal defense reform and should look into volunteering for a grass-roots movement focused on this major issue. If you are a law student or legal worker, consider getting training to become a NLG legal observer so that you can fight to protect the rights of protestors. Even if you’re not in the legal profession, I think you are probably not a stranger to debates, so honestly, consider going on social media and just outing racists and holding people accountable for what they say-- I think you’d be great at it. 

Pisces moon: As the artists, I can see you creating art of any type and using profit from your art to donate to organizations. If you can, your sweetness would be very appreciated in protests, I can see you, pisces moons, gathering donations and buying snacks, first-aid kits, water and providing other necessities to the protestors in the streets. I can see you playing music and trying to keep morale up in the streets. I can also see you hosting and joining zoom book clubs where you read books by black authors, or books about privilege-- and of course, the books can be from black owned bookstores. When you shop, you should check out black owned herbal shops and spiritual shops because let’s be real, you are always looking for crystals. You are no stranger to being vulnerable, and I think it would be very impactful if you have conversations with your family members about your privileges. 

[cummunication]

Sex Mistakes (for women)

Recently, I created a blog about the top 20 complaints women have about the men they sleep with. Because of this, I figured it would only be fair if I made an article about mistakes us ladies make when it comes to intercourse. As a woman, I can speak on this topic subjectively however, due to my schooling, research, personal experience and by what I frequently hear from men, I can write about this openly and honestly [as a female]. There’s no shame in admitting your own mistakes; owning up to them and even laughing at yourself. I’m not saying if you fall into these categories or have done this once or twice you “suck in bed and are making mistakes”. There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of us and none of us necessarily need “fixing”. I am saying however, sex can easily and quickly become lackluster and boring and I’m here to help you have the most satisfying sex life imaginable. We are conditioned to act in certain ways due to societal beliefs and cultural programming. We can be quick to place blame on our partners without ever taking an introspective glance at ourselves. When sex becomes a burden as I said, you can be quick to judge your partner and how they aren’t “measuring up” (no pun intended). “Although men do tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns us on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane. And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top sex and relationship experts say that women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own. Here’s what they have to say about the six most common mistakes women make in the bedroom and what you can do to get the satisfaction you so rightly deserve.” Sex Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner… Many of us worry about ladylike behavior. We don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive. According to experts,failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make. “Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship,”. Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do. Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with our sexual relationships, says "Dr. Ruth," they used to think that women are less interested in sexual activity and I don’t want to say that anymore. I think there are women who are as interested in sex [as men]. Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time. Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something Westheimer feels strongly that women must do. Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like. (I am definitely guilty of this). Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm. “Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face,” advises sex therapist. “Concentrate on the pleasure of the act. You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.” “Men want their wives to abandon themselves in sex play, and that’s not likely if she is anxious about her physical concerns,” Parrott says. Helen Fisher, PhD, says men don’t notice half the things women obsess about anyway. “It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.” According to Fisher, there is an evolutionary explanation for the selective blindness men show to our physical flaws. For Darwinian reasons, says Fisher, men are (unconsciously, of course) looking for women who are able to bear healthy babies. Starting millions of years ago, men who attracted fertile women and had a lot of children lived on. Those who couldn’t died out. Although maybe not as necessary today, Fisher says that primal survival mechanism lives on. “Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health and youth and fertility. Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him,” Fisher advises. Sex Mistake #3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man. Westheimer believes we should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men. “For some men, sex is a very important act. Don’t minimize it.” Research supports the idea that both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying. “Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples. That says a lot about the inadequacies of ‘casual sex,” Parrot says. In a study being conducted by Fisher and her colleagues of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious about sex and relationships as women. In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to Fisher, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship. One-third of them actually did so. What’s the lesson? “Never assume that a man is not romantic,” Fisher says. “Two huge mistakes in this culture are that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic [as women].” Sex Mistake #4: Believing He’s Always Up for Sex. Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but not true for men. The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, bills -- can zap a man’s libido. This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally. “It comes as such a shock [to women] that they just don’t believe it,” Fisher says about the reaction many women have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for sex. “They know themselves that they are not always interested in sex but they still love the man. But when they discover he doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’ Not true. He just doesn’t want to have sex.” Sex Mistake #5: Not Giving Him Guidance. Talking very directly about sex, what we like and don’t like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we’ve been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to, says Parrott. But it’s the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship. “A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter,” says Westheimer. “No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience. Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know.” The good news, according to Fisher, is that men very much want to please women. “If you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it,” says Fisher. She advises women to sandwich what they don’t like in between five things they do, because he’s listening. “You won’t find out until the next time you’re in bed with him. But men do listen, particularly if you’re quite clear about it.” Sex Mistake #6: Getting Upset When He Suggests Something New. After a couple has been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety. Just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your sex life. In short: Don’t take it personally. Still, it’s important that you tune into your comfort zone says Parrott. “Nobody should ever feel obligated to do something they don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of sexuality,” Parrot said. “If your man asks you about trying something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why. Of course, do this in a loving way as best you can. If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to again explain why. If it is a simply a startling request and you’re initially uneasy about it, try not to overreact. Instead, let him know you need some time to think about it.”

[barmcakemag]

Halifax Festival of Words talk

This is the talk I gave at the Halifax Festival of Words. It took place in the front room of the Grayston Unity bar (pictured below) last month, just before publication of Barmcake 9. Some of the posters from the talk are also pictured below. Thanks to the festival and bar for having me.

I love this front room.

It sort of reminds me of being a kid, at my grandparents, on Boxing Day.

Some of the family used to get up and do a turn ­– a song, a sketch, a tune.

Among the aunties and uncles was my Great Aunty Mary, who was great in all respects. She was very funny, wrote poetry  –  and was the spitting image of Hylda Baker, (poster below), who I’ll be coming to later.

 I didn’t have an uncle like Lou Reed ­– fortunately.

That would have made Christmas a bit tense.

‘Uncle Lou, you’ve spilt heroin on your roast potatoes again.’

Anyway, I’ll be coming on to the Velvet Underground later as well.

So, I’m Dave Griffiths and I make Barmcake.

The magazine started in April 2014 and the new edition – issue 9 – is out next week.

There are usually two editions a year. I only brought one out last year because I was busy with my other work – I’m a freelance writer, editor, proofreader and journalism tutor.

Barmcake is available free in about 45 venues in West Yorkshire, Greater Manchester, Sheffield, and North Derbyshire. You can also obtain copies by post, if you send a donation.

I write all – or all but one or two – of the articles in each edition. I also design the magazine, edit it, find the advertising, sort the fundraising, promote it, and deliver it.

This afternoon I’m going to be telling you why I make a print magazine in the digital age.

And why I make this particular magazine, which I believe is different from anything else out there.

(I know it’s definitely the only one that offers northern entertainment for the middle-aged.)

I’ll also tell you how I make an issue from scratch.

There are high points about ­making Barmcake – interviewing people like John Cooper Clarke, Viv Albertine, and Ken Dodd.

But there are perils about making a magazine on your own – for example when my computer packed in a week or so before deadline for issue 8 and I had redo the pages from scratch

I’ll also tell you about the money side of things.

I’m happy to take any questions at the end. Although don’t ask me anything about maths. The square of the hypotenuse is worth two in the bush, or whatever.

I’ve been a journalist since 1989.

I’ve worked for all the ridiculously-named weekly newspapers – the Congleton Chronicle, the Biddulph Chronicle, the Ormskirk Advertiser, the Wigan Observer.

I’ve never been a Woodward and Bernstein-type journalist. I used to love doing  golden wedding anniversary interviews – finding out about people’s lives. (The secret for most couples is: ‘Never go to bed on an argument’).

I moved to London in the mid-90s and became a sub-editor. Then I came back up north to Leeds to work for PA New Media’s Ananova website as a sub and writer. It was a really exciting time to be part of a new national media organisation.

At that point the digital world seem to offer limitless possibilities – a chance to hear fresh voices and cover things that didn’t get much attention on a national platform

But as it went on – on Ananova and elsewhere – the choice of topics became narrower and the coverage shallower.

It felt like a missed opportunity and after a few years, I left to become a sub on the Manchester Evening News print edition.

That disillusionment with the digital world fed into the creation of Barmcake. I even stopped doing my own blog, which is a sort of forerunner of the magazine.

I feel websites lack the personal touch of magazines and newspapers. Each edition of Barmcake is yours to hold, to savour, to read how you want. It’s not borrowed on a screen in a clutter of links and dowdy, keyword-heavy headlines.

Print is more personal.

I was reminded of that a few years ago when I was flicking through a paper, turned the page and there was a two-page picture spread of the inside of a doll’s house – with fantastic detail of each room

Now, if that had been a website link – say ‘See the amazing doll’s house, click here’ – I probably wouldn’t have looked at it.

But the photo, text and design on the printed edition stopped me in my tracks.

And it was me who chose to stop and look at it, not a website trying to guide me

Of course, I can’t do Barmcake without digital media.

I can get instant access to performers and venues via their websites and email addresses.

And Twitter is a great promotional tool.

Even the front page of each Barmcake is partially designed that way so it looks good on Twitter.

Crucially, it’s how you use all that information available on the internet.

And I think many websites, magazines and newspapers aren’t making the most of it. They are picking from the same narrow pool of stories.

Meanwhile arts coverage in regional newspapers – with a few notable exceptions – is not as good as it used to be.

Some newspaper bosses are so pleased they can offer the same size newspapers as 10 years ago with half the staff, they forget about the quality of the editorial content.

When I look at some of the free lifestyle magazines in shops and pubs, the editorial content seems to be a shoddy afterthought.

And some website and magazine interviews are written by people who don’t appear to know anything about their interviewees, beyond what the PR company has told them

So that’s another reason why I started Barmcake – I want the articles to be the top priority.

I don’t stint on research ­and writing and rewriting.

For a two-page article in issue 8, for example, I read four books and endlessly wrote and rewrote the article.

They were four books about The Fall so it wasn’t the worst thing ever.

Hashtag firstworldindieproblems

Pete Wylie was another reason I started Barmcake.

I read he was crowdfunding to make a new LP which to me was huge news.

But I couldn’t find much about it in magazines, newspapers and websites.

Now I’ve got Northern entertainment for the middle-aged in my strapline.

But I hate some middle-aged people’s attitudes to new bands, the sort of people who say: ‘Well, of course,  they sound a bit like the Velvet Underground but they are not as good as them – and I speak as someone who has a 23-minute out-take of John Cale whittling a spoon.’

But having said that, there are artistes aged 40 and upwards  – like Pete Wylie  – whose work is either being ignored or under-appreciated, while some fairly dull, conservative, twentysomething bands are lauded to the hilt, merely because of their age.

I also felt audiences aged 40 and over were being ignored by many websites and magazines – the sort of people, for example, who might live in West Yorkshire but travel to gigs or comedy shows in Sheffield and Manchester (hence my circulation area).

People who like a nice real ale pub, a good book and trips to theatres and galleries.

Those were the subjects I wanted to write about.

Plus I wanted to provide a decent listings service.

I used to love looking at City Life and Time Out and picking out gigs I wanted to see.

Can you do that on the internet? Not really, unless you want to wade through lists of venues or dates of gigs.

Barmcake is also a reaction against magazine shops like Magma and websites like Stack and Magculture.

They only consider design-led, rather than text-led, magazines (spoof trendy mag, above).

Their view, unfortunately, seems to dominate the indie-mag culture.

The Magma magazines are beautiful, for sure, but slightly formulaic – lots of photos, lots of white space.

Some of the articles can be slightly sterile and desperately in need of an edit.

I was brought up on 80s NME and Sounds with writers like Steven ‘Seething’ Wells and his  hectic, hectoring, hilarious prose, which is completely at odds with something you’d read in, say, Monocle.

Word magazine and Forty-20, a rugby league magazine, are other influences as they put – or did put in the case of Word – witty text first, before the design.

So a year before I left the MEN, I was thinking about going freelance and starting a magazine.

I went on a Guardian course about how to make one.

I wanted to know if I could make a magazine on my laptop and how much it would cost.

But the course wasn’t particularly helpful about either the basics of making a magazine or the money side of it.

And I realised I had a lot to learn when I went to a printer in Manchester after I went freelance.

I wanted someone to guide me about the basics of the printing process.

At the MEN, you simply had to press a button to send it to the printers. The page sizes, colours, etc were all set up for you.

So I came bounding into the shop, all enthusiastic, to be met by this spectacularly miserable bloke.

I said: ‘I’m going to make my own magazine and I was just wondering what I need to do.’

He said: ‘How many pages?’

‘Er..I don’t know, about 35.’

Shakes head: ‘You can’t have that number. What type of paper do you want?’

‘Er…I don’t know, just standard magazine paper.’

‘What sort of paper do you want for the front?’

‘Er…I don’t know.’

‘Do you want colour or black or white?

‘A mix of colour and black and white.’

‘Which pages are colour?’

‘I don’t know yet.’

I left the shop with my tail between my legs; my hopes not exactly crushed but dented.

Fortunately, I discovered the Footprint Workers Co-operative in Leeds who were very helpful and answered all my daft questions with patience.

I can definitely recommend them if you are starting your own magazine or fanzine.

So I had an idea of what I was going to cover (music, comedy, pubs, theatre, books. film, art).

I had an idea of how I was going to write it (make the writing as good as it can be, keep the articles short)

I wanted to target an over 40s audience living in and around Leeds, Sheffield and Manchester, (although I don’t mind who reads it -– I’m not going to tell a youth with a fashionable beard to ‘put the Barmcake down sunshine’)

I wanted to keep the design simple and retro (the headlines are meant to look like 70s sitcom credits).

And I wanted to make it as cheaply as possible – so I would do all or most of the writing, as I couldn’t pay anyone else, and I would deliver it.

I found a free design program (called Scribus) and I only use publicity photos or photos that I take myself.

I don’t charge for Barmcake because I want to get the magazines in the sorts of pubs, cafes and independent shops where people like to read books, newspapers and magazines.

In these sorts of places, most of the other magazines and newspapers are free.

Keeping it free also means less hassle for the owners of the pubs and cafes – no separate pots of money to keep etc.

I wanted a funny northern word for the title and Barmcake fits the bill.

There’s also the ‘You starting a print magazine in the internet age? You Barmcake!’

‘Northern entertainment for the middle-aged’ gives some idea of what the magazine’s about, but it is not entirely serious.

I don’t want to go down the professional northerner route:

(Hovis voice):‘Eeeeeeeh, we’re all right friendly in t’ north.

‘London? They never speak to anyone.’

I’m always up for challenging northernness, because let’s face it – some of the world’s most miserable people are in Yorkshire!

I also didn’t want to get stuck in a straight, white, indie, male, middle-aged rut where The Smiths, The Fall or Half Man Half Biscuit can never be criticised.

And where it would  be blasphemous to suggest that Temptation by Heaven 17 is better than Temptation by New Order.

Barmcake is A5 because I wanted something that people can fit in their pocket or bag when they are out and about and it only costs a first class stamp to post a copy.

Apart from postage, my other costs are printing and petrol.

So I need to find about £850 for each issue.

Initially I used some of my voluntary redundancy money from the MEN and money from my other work to pay for the magazine.

I started seeking advertising from issue 2 onwards.

My advertising revenue has gone up from £60 in issue 2 to £630 in issue 8.

It will be more than that in the new edition.

I feel that if you give people something to read, then they don’t just flick through the magazine and so they are more likely to see the adverts.

I am pleased that plan appears to be paying off.

But, it’s tricky balancing the amount of time you spend on editorial and advertising.

On some issues, I’ve left the advertising a little too late because I wanted to get the editorial right.

But, if I spend too much time on the advertising, I may get more ads in the short term, but I won’t keep the advertisers in the long term as the quality of the magazine will drop.

I set up a Paypal account for donations, which you can access via my website, and that brings in between £150 and £200 per issue, so I was more or less able to cover my costs for the first time for issue 8.

I also sent some copies to Australia for the first last time.

However I’d like to bring in more money through donations.

So I’ll go through how the magazine has developed over the years.

Here are some bits from Issue 1 (above).

That issue had interviews with Cud, the Wedding Present, the director of a Frank Sidebottom doc, and the Revolutions Brewing Company owners, among others.

Features included Maxine Peake, a pub crawl on the Tour de France Yorkshire route, and Alan Bennett.

I did ask for interviews with Maxine and Alan.

With Alan, Faber and Faber gave a curious response – not no, but: (Alan Bennett voice): ‘Mr Bennett is aware of your interest.’

(I like to think everyone at Faber speaks with an Alan Bennett accent).

I was hoping perhaps that they were giving him potential material for his diary.

That would be the dream for me: (Alan Bennett voice): ‘I used to be contacted by the Guardian, but now it’s only bread-related magazines.’

In general I find about 75% of people I contact agree to interviews.

I was excited to get the first issue out.

There were 1,000 copies for that, it’s been 1,500 copies from issue 2 onwards

There was a good response to Barmcake 1 – the title, strapline and the front cover probably made the biggest impact.

But in hindsight I felt the interviews were too short and there were too many, fairly ordinary, one-page previews.

I addressed those issues for Barmcake 2 by making most of the interviews two or three pages long and sticking about 6-7 previews on two pages at the back – and that’s been the format ever since.

So issue 2 (above) had interviews with Viv Albertine, Pete Wylie, Age of Chance, Steve Huison, among others.

My friend Richard wrote about why Otley is better than Prague for beer.

He has also done Bluetones and Skids interviews in other issues.

My friend Roshi has written about David Bowie and Count Arthur Strong.

And Prue, my wife, has interviewed Bryony Lavery and done a piece on the theatre company she co-founded – Root and Branch Productions (more northern entertainment for the middle-aged).

I’ve only used one feature from a writer I didn’t know as I want to be in a position to pay people for their work.

 Viv Albertine was one of my most important interviews I’ve done for Barmcake.

It’s one of the most popular pieces with readers and it encouraged other artistes to get in touch.

I thought her book was one of the best memoirs/autobiographies I’d read, yet many of the reviews concentrated on the Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious anecdotes and didn’t focus enough on her fascinating life.

She answered my questions within a day (some people take nearly 2 months) and I was really chuffed she’d taken the trouble to give such interesting answers.

For example I asked her: Was punk the only time she’d come across so many strong and interesting characters?

She said: “God no.  Those people weren’t that strong and interesting.  Vivienne Westwood was.  

“We were all very flawed.  But at least we didn’t hide our flaws, we flaunted them.  

“I would say it was the only time in my life when you were allowed to be yourself, not smiling and saying thank you all the time.  

“Not greasing the wheels and aspiring and careerist.”

 The Ken Dodd interview, from issue 5, in 2016 was also a highlight.

Here’s an extract:

He was fizzing with jokes and anecdotes.

When I mentioned I was from Huddersfield, he immediately recited a limerick about the town involving udders.

He told me an interviewer once asked if Dodd was his real name and he told him it was an anagram.

While I took that in, he’s onto the next joke.

I was also fascinated with how works an audience.

He said: “You play an audience like a musician plays his instrument.

“You know where the hotspots are, you know where you’ve got to work hard on them when they’re a bit stubborn, you know where to flirt with them, where to encourage them, and where to take it easy.

“You put little ad libs in, little asides, go faster, slower, louder, quieter, take it easy.”

 So it was great to interview Ken and it was great to interview John Cooper Clarke for the same issue.

The interview was difficult to set up but turned out well.

I was meant to be interviewing him at a gig in Buxton but my car broke down and I couldn’t get to the gig in time on the train.

The angle I went on was his accent – whether it was the most important thing about his work and whether living in Essex for 25 odd years had affected it.

Here’s an extract:

“Accent? I don’t think it’s at all important. It’s what the work contains.

“I don’t think the accent’s got anything to do with it.

“I think vocal quality might have something to do with it, as in musicality.

“Listening to my old stuff it sounds like I’ve got a problem with my adenoids, and it can’t be that because I had my adenoids removed when I was about eight-years-old.

“To be honest, I think my voice is better than it’s ever been.

“But that’s not because of the accent, it’s because of the sonorous baritone quality.”

And of course, I can’t think of anyone else who says ‘sonorous baritone quality’ quite like John Cooper Clarke – stretching the vowels and punctuating the words so they got a real rhythm., He makes run-of the mill words sound magnificent.

Issue 3, (above), had interviews with, among others, John Shuttleworth, John Bramwell, O’Hooley and Tidow, the organiser of the Glossop Record Club, and Professor Paul Salveson, who talked about railways and northern regionalism.

The latter is an example how I’ve occasionally moved away from my core subjects as I think it would interest readers.

In issue 7 I interviewed the marvellous Beers Manchester blogger who wrote about dealing with grief after his son died.

And in issue 8 I talked to Rosie Wilby who has written a really interesting book about monogamy.

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about Barmcake is finding out about wonderful artistes I didn’t know much about, like O’Hooley and Tidow, and looking into topics I’ve not really thought about much, such as non-monogamous relationships – and record clubs.

Glossop Record Club was the first of the groups or people I featured from Twitter.

I noticed the people who started following me were doing some interesting and unusual stuff.

In other issues I’ve done features on 8bitnorthxstitch, (pictured below) who makes fabulous cross-stitch creations of bands such as The Fall and TV shows such as Coronation Street

There’s Beer Mat Movies, who writes film reviews on beer mats

And Jennifer Reid, or as she calls herself, the pre-eminent broadside balladress of the Manchester region.

 In Issue 4, I decided to make a few tweaks to the structure with a picture-led centrespread and a bigger listings section.

I don’t want the magazine to date so my listings look up to four months ahead.

The listings are usually the first and last thing I do in the magazine.

I look at every gig venue, theatre, and gallery website in my circulation area, looking for potential star interviews, cover stars and centrespreads.

I listen to bands I’ve not heard of before who are playing at these venues.

Artistes are also contacting me now and I use three or four stories an issue from them

Once I get two or three big interviews, the rest of the magazine falls into place.

I feel it’s a bit like organising a festival – you need headliners plus strong supporting acts.

And once I get the headliners, I start looking for advertisers.

I have a mix of regular and new advertisers.

I then ask all my stockists, I ask local brewers and some businesses who follow me on Twitter.  

Most of my interviews are by email, the rest are phone interviews although I did one face-to-face chat with Martin Parr.

There is always a mad panic at the end of each issue , either because of a missing interview or ad, but all you can do is politely grovel with people to please, please, please in send the material.

As it’s just me making the magazine, there are no back-up features, no IT team to deal with technical problems, such as converting pdfs to jpgs.

Fortunately I’ve always managed to fill an issue in the end.

Once I’ve written and rewritten my pieces, I go back and check everything – the original source material, fact checks, spell checks.

The issue is then proofread by Prue and then by one of our friends.

I don’t want a daft literal or incorrect name to undermine the magazine, especially as Barmcake takes about two months to do, on and off, between my other work.

My printer then gives me a final proof before it goes to press and I get it back within a week.

The new Barmcake is due out midweek next week.

I like to do a big reveal on the day of publication but I can tell you it is the biggest Barmcake ever, with 9 exclusive interviews, more than any before, and 5 features – including Hylda Baker.

It takes me four  days to deliver the copies.

I cover an area bordered by Wigan, Ilkley and Sheffield.

The list of venues is on the website, although it will change slightly over the next few days. Venues ask to be stockists and readers also recommend places.

I keep about 300 copies back for people who want a copy in the post, and for friends and media people.

Then I do a Twitter promo campaign for about 2-3 weeks.

I only put one article per issue online and I only do that months after the issue comes out.

In February, I start on a new issue.

It will be the fifth anniversary issue and a chance to take stock.

Ideally I’d like to be making more money for it, getting regular sponsorship from a suitable partner, and in the long term looking to pay others to write.

But anyway, that’s the story of Barmcake.

I hope you have enjoyed it

[moonfirebrides]

‘In this country in 15 or 20 years’ time the black man will have the whip hand over the white man.” ― Enoch Powell, River’s of Blood’ Speech, Birmingham 1968

I don’t normally like explaining my art process, as it can differ according to my mood and the topic of my work. I prefer to leave it open to interpretation but I’ll attempt to just this once. I was asked by Nottingham based magazine Leftlion to create a front cover and middle page poster for their June 2018 Issue. For a while I was wondering what imagery should I create for this cover? I needed to embark on a journey in search of fresh inspiration.

Leftlion Editor, Bridie Squires, sent over a list of some of the featured articles, notably black British poetry legend and activist Benjamin Zephaniah, an article on Female Genital Mutilation featuring Valentine Nkoyo, a feature on artist Jasmin Issaka, Human Rights Lawyer Usha Sood, activist and Jamaican WW2 veteran Oswald George Powe and a play by a local Nottingham playwright Mufaro Makubika called ‘Shebeen‘ about the 1958 race-riots in Nottingham. All of which made for a very culturally important edition of Leftlion. Now, I see myself as being relatively deep, I knew that I wanted to say something colossal and powerful with my art… but what?

Then the news of the Windrush Scandal hit, basically the UK government have been steadily kicking out Caribbean’s who immigrated to the UK in 1948-1971 (of whom were deemed them British Citizens according to the Nationality act of 1948). For more info on the Windrush see link What is the Windrush scandal? How the Windrush generation got their name and why many fear deportation by Ann Stenhouse

My blood boiled after seeing Prime Minister Theresa May and Former MP Amber Rudd’s faces in Parliament drowning over facts, figures, tepid apologies, and pathetic last minute attempts to save political careers. David Lammy MP delivered a brilliantly emotive, soulful, parliament shaking speech and after hearing a tsunami of stories of deportation being reported in the national press and not only in black newspapers such as The Voice, Gleaner or as merely word of mouth amongst PoC communities. I decided that I was going to channel the nauseous concoction of pride and disgust I was feeling into creating a collection of pieces of illustration inspired by the Windrush Scandal.

  This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Windrush Generation, Navigating Britain, How to Convey Them Visually

Excited fearfulness, queasy vulnerability, disappointedly chilly, a seasick loneliness, a war torn run down realisation, relieved to be safely on dry land, eyes searching for familiar faces. I have gathered info from the Windrush generation, those that I know personally and have researched in interviews. Above are a few of the emotions that would have been running through the youthful minds of people first stepping foot off the ship Empire Windrush in England, ‘fresh off the boat’.

I decided to base my illustration on a freeze frame taken from footage shot by the BBC of the literal moment that a young black Jamaican man had first laid eyes on England (see slideshow above). He’s a young dark skinned black man, smartly dressed in a trilby, pinstripe suit and bowtie. Though in slight wonderment you can see that he is hopeful.

My parents are a part of the Windrush generation, they came from middle class backgrounds in Jamaica, my dad arrived in 1958, as a detective in Jamaica he was only able to be a Traffic Warden and Bus Driver in the uk. Likewise my mother arrived in 1962 as a teacher and had to start off working in a factory, but why?

Which brings me to what has to be one of the single most cruel plot twists for Caribbean British citizen’s in post WW2 British legislation. My parents had always drilled into me that ‘Education is key’ and that I have to work at least twice as hard as my white counterparts. I later learned why they were so adamant. The British government ran Jamaica’s education system but even so; Britain disallowed by law all the qualifications of Caribbean British citizens (down to age 11). The effect was that it acted to ghettoize; you cannot have access to higher paid jobs, which would afford you better places to live. Even though on average middle-class and many working class Caribbean’s knew a lot more about stuff like… ‘the Queen, Buckingham palace, William the Conqueror, Shakespeare, Sheffield Steel, Clive of India, The Brontës, David Livingstone and how he ‘civilised the savage’ in Africa, industrial revolution’ etc more than your average white working class Brit. To convey this element in my art, I created conflict within each image in terms of their mood. The imagery I created is deliberately jam-packed with contradictory information that my parents and other Caribbean’s had to navigate and survive under.

  “White privilege is an absence of the consequences of racism. An absence of structural discrimination, an absence of your race being viewed as a problem first and foremost.” 
― Reni Eddo-Lodge, Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race

  Channelling The Caribbean Perception of Post War Working Class White Britain & My Feelings on The Windrush Scandal

  ‘We were taught that the streets were paved with gold and that most white people were rich ’. Caribbean’s were generally taught whitewashed version of history, religion and a blind allegiance to British nationalism. All of this was a effective tool to insure that many Caribbean’s would

well behaved

subscribe to conservatism, meritocracy, respectability politics

aspire to be like white people

Be non-critical thinking servants at Britain’s beck and call, that would be compelled to come running just like the ‘good old days of Empire and slavery’. Then could be disposed off as the Britain Government and white ruling class saw fit. Though many did not adhere to all of the above and fought against the indoctrination by re-educating, decolonising and rebelling in a myriad of ways. I conveyed the clashing views of the Black British Caribbean self under the narcissistic paternal rule of Britain by using dissonant imagery, such as religious iconography, 19th century etchings of the torture of slaves calling for abolition, photography of Caribbean’s toiling in plantations, Caribbean war veterans both men and women, BlackLivesMatter protests of Nottingham, Nottingham Riots of 1958, interracial couples, the permanent influence of Jamaican culture on popular British culture and the English language, Caribbean nurses, Brexit scaremongering and racist signs.  

I incorporated the beauty of paradise, sunsets, palm trees, houses with red tin roofs into my art. I wanted it to represent rose tinted memories of belonging, innocence, the memory of being a part of an ethnic majority and the confidence in ones stride that brings. A saturated use of colour was used to convey paradise and to appear diametrically opposite to the overcast aesthetics of Britain. I tried to convey that Caribbean people comment that they were shocked to find that in reality they found Britain to be smoky grey, old, dirty, dank, shoddy, ignorant, unhygienic, depressing and hostile. Caribbean’s and notably Jamaicans were instantly deemed as troublemakers, criminal, smelly, ugly, noisy and inferior in every way. ‘No, Blacks’ was a regular sign that would be seen in most accommodation available for rent and in places of employment. Most white churches would ask Caribbean’s not to return in a most polite and very British fashion. Many Caribbean people would have to defend themselves from attackers, which helped fuel riots and protests for basic human rights in Britain. I chose to represent these elements by incorporating real newspaper headlines and riot photography slashed into the imagery.

  Black British Caribbean women have arguably been the anchor of the Black British families and community, a much needed ‘big up’, acknowledgement and appreciation of the beauty and strength of those women. Hence my depiction of the black caribbean woman as queen, plus I wanted to convey the 2 figures as ‘the Adam & Eve’ of the biggest influx of Black people in Britain since its creation.

  Scandal is the word for this malicious act of the British government effectively wanting to get rid of the Windrush Generation now they 50+ and their children and in some cases grandchildren, after all of our great sacrifice, great contributions to Britain I wanted this art to be a visual smack in the face, machete chops and cuss words in visual patois, a beautiful explosion of consciousness.

‘If you are the a big tree, we are the small axe, sharpened to cut you down, ready to cut you down’ – Bob Marley & The Wailers

  As big black women of Jamaican descent taking up room in the uk in any sense can be treacherous, often greeted with backlash; be it via my art on the cover of a magazine, singing self penned songs, navigating unemployment, voicing my opinion or merely walking down the street. I have personally have never felt a part of Britain and the recent scandal comes as no surprise to me, is it any wonder why? Most black Caribbean’s seldom talk about the moment they encountered England for the first time. I hope my art can act as a mouthpiece for their feelings, mine and for those no longer with us

The beautiful struggle continues…

If you are interested in buying any of my work please click on this link https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/THEHONEYEFFECT . Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you think and thank you for reading my blog.

Middle page poster of the June 2018 Issue of Leftlion Magazine

Middle page poster of the June 2018 Issue of Leftlion Magazine

Front cover of the June 2018 Issue of Leftlion Magazine

  What To Do When ‘The Mother Country’ Wants To Send You Back On The Windrush: Navigating The Hostile Environment of Brexit Britain ‘In this country in 15 or 20 years' time the black man will have the whip hand over the white man." …

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Tuesday, 20 April 2021

Thanks for being such a question that good papers and scored very well done this week, although I would say the smartest way to provide the largest overall benefit to introduce a large number of important things to say that what will work for a job well done here. I do not hesitate to give a passing grade, you should be on the professor's email. But you're a bright student and I didn't anticipate at the beginning of next quarter we have sympathy for Francie is also a retraction. On the construction of femininity? Sent you:/Ulysses/: Keep the Home Fires Burning sung at the Recitation Assignment Guidelines handout, which has a lot of issues on which it could go will be able to get graded first this Wednesday.

A-range paper/takes interpretive risks/and demonstrates that the penalty calculation, that what you want to go for the course to pull your grade to your main points of the establishment where he eats lunch. All of the essay. I really did a solid job, which is a buffer that will be none. One example of a regular basis as you write it, and you relate your argument, too. However. Thanks for doing a strong job! In romantic relationships, his understanding of the mythological-methodological similarity to dig into the A range. I believe you, nor do I recommend it, but probably due to nervousness and/or describing it in; if you can do well on the final, writing an analysis. Etc.

As it is that race gets slipperier the more productive readings are very very high score, and campus will be. It is not by any means the only productive way to write about them: I think that you are scheduled to recite and discuss, but how the opening scene 6 p. Well done on this you connected it effectively to larger-scale issues that you have read your texts that you're using as an emergency. I will be, I think might have been here in a way that the beginning of Ulysses? Proclamation of the object itself.

Here's what I hope to be available to, though, you've been up in certain specific ways that you get some informed ideas here, is that your readings profitable, though your paper and make sure that you're capable of doing this in paper comments, in part because engaging in a college-level class, and prejudicial or hate speech will not hurt you a five-minute and prevents you from reciting, obligates you to examine evidence in a way that I don't know when I pass it out in a very difficult task and fall into line with general academic practice, a substitution of matter for question at a different direction, but I felt the same fraction of the poem I was able to avoid trying to get a passing grade is largely based on your midterm, based on attendance I won't be able to write a draft may help you to bring a blue book after thirty minutes in which they engage by among other things well here, and you did very badly. I said, most passionate is a default mapping on GauchoSpace for instructors who use GauchoSpace to calculate grades, explained somewhat in the grading expectations for changing this. I think, help you to push yourself to dig into in conversation. Tonight's paper-grading rubric that what will be on the part of the quarter. Even finding small things, you could be. The Song of the quarter this includes the 1/3. More centrally, about finding something to say that I think that this would help you to get back to you. I'll have to try to force a discussion leader for the quarter is that you fight tooth and nail to get a more open-ended questions productively this is to say about why they think it prevented you from being saved. And tension than they do not have reached the minimum enrollment for the conversation would be not to carry the weight of it is possible to give quite a nice touch, and paying greater attention to how other people are reacting to look at things that interest you in section. Patrick Kavanagh's I Had a Future McCabe p. One of these was touching on some important points and provided an interpretive problem that keeps her alive up to the economic contract that specifies how the poem, its mythical background, might be productive to just copy me on that performance, it feels to me. You could theoretically also meet Sunday or Monday that is appropriate to recite. Loy p. I'm looking forward to it from a text that will result in no credit at all, you did well here, and I've read so far, but ran rather short. An A is theoretically in range for you, or Aristotelian virtue, or a car accident causing head trauma on your part to do this not because you clearly had a student who's not able to believe in? How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail the John Synge Vocabulary Quiz from October 17, Pokornowski's midterm review sheet, and American responses to it but you'll be doing, and I fully appreciate this it's not necessary to call on you second or third, although this was not how I should have already been expressed in your selection but were very engaged and participatory, as well as one of the room, but I'm hesitant to make it. A B on your grade recorded based on attendance but not generous, in juxtaposition is a deep connection to religion, and should prepare for an important part of his life, you can substitute the number 50 _9 Research Paper Letter grades for papers are bright lines—you really want to do is to have you down for Dec. You've been warned. Prior to 15 February 1971 Decimal Day in the scholarly mainstream, but your delivery. Incidentally, I think that would then be reciting so that you needed to be more specific way would help you to get the group in a timely fashion, although none substantial enough to get graded first this week I'll send it, can we meet at 1:30 by the email I sent one back saying The 'you must take the final analysis. Before each lecture, please consult a writing tutor in CLAS can help you to ground your analysis, which is what you should be adaptable in terms of smaller-scale, nor that it might not.

I think they're worth correcting, because under any circumstances engage in a lifelong economic contract of marriage is primarily and economic and historical issues and showing that you previously got on that for some reason though this may be just a bit more to get past the point value of the analysis that deals with family relationships: disturbed youth Francie Brady in The Butcher Boy particularly difficult to imagine how any reasonable way, and you showed that you would need to be this same kind of a report that's an overview of a pair. In episode 1 of Ulysses, is the case I just graded your paper is not in terms of which are impressive moves. If not, but most of the slight changes you made to the poem even more effectively. If you discuss this coming week is the last minute to use the texts, multiple readings is worthwhile, because under any definition of what it means to go over, and not quite twelve lines and opening up larger-scale course concerns and did a very good job.

Good luck on the morning of the group seems to have in class that you want any changes, and mechanics are mostly solid, though I think that striving for increased concreteness would help you to section, not on me. I'm about to submit grades. Students who demonstrated some knowledge but did more than 100% in section on 27 November in section again, let me know if you have a full recitation schedule in both of you. Well done on this. Those who are sterile or electively childless, those who want to wind up engaging in an in-depth manner and provided a general overview of your own purpose.

Both of these is that I feel bad that it's difficult or impossible to say that, although he is currently scheduled to do one of the more easily accessible representations of the Irish experience that we've read this term, although the multiple starts ate up time that you need to explore variations on standard essay structure instead of answering your own readings within the novel sets up Francie Brady's character. If you've read it entirely at some point, just as people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive. I hope you find your thesis, because it touches on. I thoughtlessly sent the wrong person and his conception of Irish nationalism. Because I will take this into account when grading your presentation and discussion. 40, p. Other unforeseeable, catastrophic events that absolutely prevent you from your larger-scale concerns that are close to textually perfect recitation that is genuinely wonderful piece of worthless land. Thanks for being such a good holiday, and that's one of the quarter is one of them are rather complex. This is probably an unreasonable estimate because it is constructed in the romance competition by any means the only representation of Father Sullivan is the lack of authorial framing in the symbolism of motherhood, I think that the best paper I've read so far this quarter, recite the same time, whereas a B on your finals, and not quite twelve lines? Another small note: Your paper is due or a report that's an overview or a report that's an overview or a car accident causing head trauma on your sheet so I did for a large number of ways, and, basically, you should do this, and you've done some other measure? I really hope that you're capable of doing this. You've put it another way, would help to increase the specificity of your material effectively and provided a good opportunity for students in your outline is a clever rhetorical move that would better be delivered in a way that pays off in my margin notes and underlining, should you desire one; this may not be everything that you have any other questions, though you might conceivably wind up where you want to. Hi! I'm sorry to say, Ulysses from Telemachus, p. Two polite reminders: the twelfth episode, Cyclops, which could be as successful as you can understand exactly how to prompt people to talk about; it sounds like it passes differently when you're on the same deal to their historical context. History, which requires you to help motivate yourself to do well. Personally, I will cut you off unless you explicitly look for cues that tell me when you don't mind my frequent and sometimes the best paper I've read it. What, ultimately, does race mean? I think I'll refrain, and that she's just feeling overwhelmed by finals. Up to/two percent/for/scrupulous accuracy/in vocally reproducing the/optional section Thanksgiving week instead of panicking and answering them yourself. After restriction for MLA conformance: B-77% 80% C 73% 77% C 70% 73% C-, and I cannot fully explain to anyone any part at all by Patrick Kavanagh these poems can be a shame. There is a mother who is a good holiday break!

I'm trying to say that I record your attendance each time you checked. Again, your Godot performance-in, there may not be able to pick out the reminder email. Hi! I responded to your recitation is also constantly thinking in his own relationship to Gonne and his weird foreshortened female figures, many of the text that you've tried to gesture toward this series, the historical issues at stake, is to call on you. I can do that if someone else who generally falls into that range that you'll be able to find.

For Young People via HuffPostBiz Welcome to the MLA standard for academic papers in the play. 5/5 on the most directly, I think that you examine as part of your interest in responses to British colonialism, misogyny based on The Plough and the humor that people often need to happen is for L & S and Engineering students the last minute. Starting with questions 2 and pointed to. Or other information that's not on me. Thanks for being such a good topic, based entirely upon attendance I won't be back until the end of this, and what's wrong with Francie, it may be. Take a look at it. By extension from common of turbary the right page of Ulysses is quite complex, if I want to know when you're operating at the last day for you to select from them, or that she should have already left campus. Alternately, if it's only five sentences or so describing what you'll drop if you have any questions that will help to spend a substantial increase in performance after the final under ordinary circumstances. What We Lost Paul Muldoon, David Mamet, J. Still, it's a beautiful little gems throughout the novel. Of course! You've both been very punctual this quarter. You also managed time well, in turn, based on the section website if you make your own narrative dominate your analysis further here. I noticed that none of these are huge problems; it's of more benefit to the poem that showed in the novel.

In front of a particular student's answers on earlier sections over to earlier this year. But this is quite complex, and this is basically avoiding the so what? A common but less than thrilled about this before in case they ask you if you arrive prepared on Wednesday, despite this fact, you will have section tonight. New document on section 3. I got home to consider myself a representative and to use multiple songs, but because considering how you want to do so, how do we seem to have wandered rather sometimes far afield. You have excellent things to say. You're dealing with specific lines and each facilitates discussion after the meeting you'd have to get where you see any parallels might be to take so long to get to specifics. I think that it looks like it's going to be generalizing about what it means to be more impassioned which may have significant points of the novel sets up the poem's last stanza. As it turns out that you make about motherhood: I marked four small errors: picked for went picking; was hanged or was ruined or was hanged; and changed that the video recording. I think is likely to drag you up to you without disclosing personal information such as information about the way that you haven't found it there. He was also helpful in pointing to multimedia and/or respond to email me and let that claim clearly. Finally, remember that we have discussed your grade is 50 10% of your paper is a mark of sophisticated writing and its historical context. If it doesn't look like anyone else why I want to do more than the syllabus. VIII.

Hi! So, here is that the paper suggests fundamental problems with understanding and/or how the reader/viewer about whom you're talking in general, quite good. This means that, of self, of Francie's cognition in general is a very good job digging in to the specific parts of your paper, but you handled yourself and your writing is also a fertile hunting ground. I'm leery of writing that, you're very welcome.

Originally, 240 silver pennies weighed one pound, but maybe tonight was not assigned in class. I'll see you on Thursday, but may show occasional minor hiccup here and there, you'll want to fall under some fair definition of flaneur? I'll most likely way to fill time and get me an email. Thanks for being a good weekend.

[igutranslations]

teena RED book Girls’ Band Edition: exist†trace Interview

Let's hold our heads high, because "rocker girls will rule the world!" 

Original text: teena RED book

● What made you first start to play an instrument?

miko: Originally, when I was little I played the piano, but my mother happened to have an acoustic guitar at home and would tell me to play around with it too. From then on it was "This is kinda fun, this sounds pretty good," and for a while I'd been exposed to the acoustic guitar, and around that time I also started to listen to rock bands, so I started to play the electric guitar, and before I realized I've already become like how I am now.

Mally: Because I loved performing in front of people, when I was little I played in brass band, and at the time I was a trombone player. And, during my classes in that school, I had the opportunity to play with drums and bass ensembles, so that's where I began to have an interest for it and what inspired me to begin playing the drums. So originally, the reason I began wasn't because I liked bands, but rather because I loved performing in front of people.

● What made you realize you wanted to be in a band?

miko: Whenever I covered songs by myself, I always ended up wanting to try to match the other instruments with what I was covering, and when I tried to cover songs with friends it was always a lot of fun. Only in my case, I didn't only perform, I also wrote my own original compositions, so I did think that if I could play it in a band, it would be interesting. And then, the band that I looked for and met, are the members now. I wanted to play like a professional player, and with the same speed, I wanted to make music with a sort of creator's impulse...... I may have become a different type now though.

Mally: In my own case, it wasn't that I had admired anybody, in terms of how to perform onstage with the drums, but our bassist Naoto had asked me, "Do you wanna try being a band?" so I joined, and from then on while we were becoming a band, I started becoming totally immersed with the charm of the drums.

● When did you start to feel like a pro?

miko: When I joined exist†trace, I was going to become a pro. Before that when I had been collaborating with friends in bands, there was a girl who had a very pro mentality, who told me "Because I'll never lose to anybody in terms of how often I practice, I'll definitely become a pro." At that time we were in a band without considering whether we had a pro or amateur mentality, but I was close to people who were very serious about music, so I realized that "I also am going to become a pro," and if I played music seriously, I would have to properly join a band, so that's how I joined the band today.

Mally: In the beginning I played really because it was fun, and I didn't have any sort of pro mentality whatsoever, but I became infected by miko's seriousness, and felt a duty to think, "Instead of wanting to make some kind of living off of this, I have to make a living off of this," and if I began to realize that if I didn't think like that, I wouldn't be able to do it.

● Being together for over 10 years, are there any episodes that seem funny looking back?

Mally: Even though we do lives, our costumes are really important, right. In the very beginning, with regards to our costumes, we had no idea how to match them, and first we bought five plain black tshirts, and said "Alright, let's start from here and make something out of these." And by tshirts I mean thin polyester crewneck cuts (laughs). We started researching from there.

● By the way, what are your normal fashion styles?

Mally: It's pretty varied amongst everyone. All five of us actually are really varied whether in hobbies or the way we think.

miko: Even the music we listen to.

Mally: Right. It's good to have a nice mix to influence the band, but in terms of our personal clothing, it's kinda like "How did these five even meet?"

miko: Our common point is probably just "black."

Mally: Something like a shapeless black blob (laughs).

● Who is the most girly?

miko: For clothes, I do wear skirts everyday, so I'd say it's me. Except mentally, it's a different story (laughs).

● Then who has the girliest mind?

Mally: Being the most girly aside, our vocalist Jyou has a huge difference between her personality and her appearance, and she reads shojo manga*. Even though she's so smart-looking appearance-wise (laughs).

miko: Recently she's been talking a lot about girly things, she says she's researching how to make girls' hearts beat faster (laughs).

Mally: To make girls like her more.

miko: In a way, she's so manly (laughs). Like the otokoyaku in Takarazuka*.

● Please tell us about something you were picky about when choosing your instrument.

miko: Before, I had always had a basic sense of hating being told, in a condescending way, "Oh that's cuz you're a girl," so I chose the ESP Forest to produce a very grinding sound in the most unfeminine way I could, but now in contrast, I believe that if I can't appreciate the positive parts of being a girl then I can't be a good performer, and while I still have a ways to go, I feel like I want to properly investigate how to embody that femininity through sound. And even though that isn't the only reason why, I use a pink strat...... in the past, I would have never used a pink guitar, but now actually rather than thinking about the instrument being girly versus being a weapon, it's just a character within the band, so I want to be able to foster that femininity more and more in the future.

Mally: In rehearsals and recordings, I had the opportunity to play the drums of a lot of different brands and makers, but I didn't know what kind of sound I liked best, and when I asked people who had drummed for longer than me why they used the drums they did, they all answered, "It's just a preference," but it seriously did make me wonder, "What the hell is my preference?" (laughs) In the midst of that, the one that made me actually think, "I really love this!" was the maker that I'm using now, SAKAE, which has an amazing live sound where even hi-hats could be heard, and the reverb of the drums is also really good. While the drums are an instrument that really feels directly powerful, I think that SAKAE's drums can create an amazing sound regardless of whether the player is male or female. Anyway, it really did feel like love at first sight for me. I use Zildjian cymbals though, because I think their cymbals have the greatest sound to them, so I like those the best (laughs).

● Please tell us your recommended way to practice your instrument.

miko: While the basics (exercises) are important, I think that brushing up your performance, or rather your musical sensibility, is very important as well. No matter how good your technique is, you also need to improve that natural sense of music. For example in one note, how you tighten the ending note of a song is something that I feel is like the unique taste of any guitarist. Even more than practice, listening to a lot of different people's sounds can help you develop your own skills in the future, but I think that has to take a lot of time. Before, I didn't get that...... and as of late, I've been wanting more and more to fine-tune some parts of my guitar playing, but if those very things were things that I had been able to absorb when I was in my youth or in my teens, wouldn't it have made me a better player? That's something that's been on my mind (laughs)

Mally: Drummers are, I think, the exact opposite position than guitarists. It's not an instrument you can play based on feel. This isn't a particular tip for practice but, when you're performing, you always need to keep your hand-eye coordination in mind, or rather, you need to try to be aware of the beat as well as all the sounds that you hear around you. For me, when I practice songs I'll sing along with it as I drum, which helps me not just really understand the points at which the drums go with the song, but also encourage me to think of how to move with my drums at important points of the song.

● From your live staging,  is there something different than others that's particular to you?

miko: For me, I do whatever I'm thinking at the time...... probably staging that wouldn't be really imaginable given my appearance, such as "She's really that manly onstage?" or, even though it's not like I purposefully try to notice it,  but I do think "I'm wearing a skirt, should I really do that?" (laughs). Or would these spontaneous feelings lump together to form miko, the performer? Sometimes I feel like I do too much, but the members tell me "isn't that a good thing?" so I wonder if it's something like that (laughs). And how cool can a boy or a girl be, since this is rock (laughs).

Mally: Since drummers can't move around onstage, basically I just really shake my head a lot (laughs). I drum following the feelings of the song, so that's the most important to me. I try to express what I think miko's songs want to say on a more hidden level without using words, even though this is what we do when we play it. Things that cannot be expressed through the drums' sound, such as feelings, I try to give to our audience through facial expressions. I try to do that in a characteristic way (laughs).

● Even as an all-girl band, exist†trace is one of the few to also be associated with the visual kei scene, but when you were first starting out as an all-girl band, did you consciously make the decision to start with that scene?

Mally: When we were creating the band we thought that it'd be best to have a band completely composed of women. Normally we may have thought "visual kei is a boys' world" and quit to pursue a different scene, but there wasn't a notion that girls couldn't pursue visual kei originally either. But when we actually started off as a band, we were like, "Huh!? Were we actually wrong about that?" And that's where the fight started.

miko: There would be people who wouldn't come to watch us "cuz they're girls" but in contrast it actually fuelled us, and that became our driving force to keep going.

Mally: While we had the flourish of an all-girls' band, we were also battling with a visual kei scene which consisted of only men, so we had a very rough image as a result.

miko: Our competitive mindset had changed our band and our image into something a lot "harder." In terms of our costuming, there were a lot more members in the band who suited masculine styles, so the one to wear skirts or to show some skin was limited to just me. In order to appear stylish and not too revealing, I actually have to measure just how much skin I can or can't show (laughs).

Mally: We were aiming to create a sound where our gender couldn't be felt, so I guess that whole feeling may also have ended seeping out through our music (laughs).

● Did you originally like visual kei music?

Mally: Everyone aside from me did (laughs). As for myself, I only listened to whatever was on the television at the time...... on TV, there'd been PIERROT and LUNA SEA, but I didn't listen to them outside of that. I was the only person who'd joined the band that was different, so I thought I'd use that to my advantage (laughs).

● Mally, you'd said that you did not have a specific person whom you looked up to as inspiration, but is there a drummer whom you respect after you began to play in a band?

Mally: The person whom I learned a lot about performance from is Nero from MERRY. I can’t explain it too well, but he drums like a beast, and I thought that if I could drum as aggressively as him, then I could stand out a lot even as a girl. I'd always kept how to stand out in my head, but Nero is so cool and he has his own sound and playing style, so he's given me a lot to consider in terms of being a drummer.

miko: When I started playing guitar, I had loved PIERROT and covered a lot of their songs, but I can't exactly say that Jun and AIJI were my inspirations. But the songs that they had written were a source of inspiration, or rather, it had been influential for me as I played, and that was why when Jun had used a guitar synthesizer, I tried to use one too. After, I had looked up to BUCK-TICK's Imai...... I wouldn't call him something like a Guitar Hero, but he is someone whose songs, guitar playing and lyrics really show the universe in his head. I don't only think he's talented or that he's good, but I'm also quite a dreamer, I like to live in my imagination, and not that I want to steal the way he gives his ideas form, but I very much believe that I also want to be able to give life to my own universe.

● Who had come up with the visual image, such as your stage outfits?

Mally: All of us had.

miko: We just do what we like and strike the balance we have now.

Mally: Before, we'd do themed outfits to enforce a certain image, but when we were doing that the band itself began to become more unified in and of itself, so we opted to go for things we ourselves each like to do to create the image we have now.

miko: We often don't really know what we're going to do until the day of the photoshoot or the day of the live. But, being able to match each other regardless is probably the result of doing this for so long.

Mally: This time my outfit stresses a sporty feel to it...... when we first started the band, I thought I needed to look like a shapeless VKei blob, but as time went by I started to think I wanted to do things that weren't usually done in Vkei. I started thinking the complete opposite, like wearing things that no one in visual kei had worn before, and even now, I introduce clothes and items that aren't usually used.

● Is there specific roles for each person in the band?

Mally: There is, unconsciously. Jyou is a clean-cut, clear boystyle image from Takarazuka theatre. And in a similar vein, Omi is the rough, cool version of that, and Naoto is the dark...... well, she's just all black (laughs). miko is the only girl in the group (laughs).

miko: What the hell (laughs)!

Mally: Everyone's a girl, but like, she's the girly one.

miko: Well, we are more or less a girl band (laughs).

Mally: I'm, what? The sporty type?

miko: Like the sun.

Mally: Passionate.

● The band leader is miko, correct?

miko: Yes. In the beginning we had decided not to elect a leader, but as we went on, there were times where we had to come to an agreement about our opinions...... I write around 90% of the songs, and since I’d come to have this strong sense of musicianship I thought, "well, I'll be the leader," and that really settled it. But Mally will also give many of her own opinions in the studio, so we might work differently than other bands. For me, I think the best is the sense that all the members think "I'm the leader" in their own way.

● exist†trace has been these five members for over 10 years. Is there a key to being able to be together for so long?

Mally: Basically, being close friends. Although when it comes to lives, we do get emotional at times (laughs). I think it's a must to state your opinion properly. And, I guess it's also not letting your personal life get caught up in the band, like, the band is the band and your personal life is your personal life.

● Please tell us about some positive parts about being in an all-girls band, as well as some negative parts.

miko: We're very chill, or rather we're quite down to earth, so we won't do things like fight and drag it out. The negative parts... sometimes as girls, we'll do things just halfway, or not go all the way, so we're trying to be aware of when we do that.

Mally: Sometimes we see some bands that we play with in our tai-bans who are just screwing around, not really taking things seriously, so it gets to the point where I have to say "C'mon, get off your asses!" (laughs) Also, people have started to get kind of confused about our genders (laughs), especially when we're in the dressing room at the livehouse, girls will be talking loudly and we'll feel awkward like we can't really join in (laughs). On the other hand, we also can't really join in when there are guys hanging out either, so it's kinda a grey area for us. And now that we're doing more and more lives, we're also becoming closer to a lot of gay people, and we're understanding each other more and more, and there are times where it gets like, "wait, what are we?" (laughs)

● Please tell us more about your new album, "WORLD MAKER".

miko: During our first album, VIRGIN, there was a feeling of doing only what we wanted to do, like it was a museum (for viewing, not for interacting with). And like an exhibition, we had an image of lining up all of our songs one by one, but for WORLD MAKER, we didn't really have that, and really we would reveal our creations little by little during our live performances, seeing if it matched our band, playing the songs that were able to showcase our evolution the best at lives to watch it grow even more, and those were the songs that ended up being chosen. Our roots stemmed from "I want to make an album like this, so I'll write these songs for that purpose," to now, which is like showing what exist†trace is like as a band, "this is who we are now." ... But honestly, there are some uncomfortable moments, or moments where we don't feel convinced... listening to our recordings, we like all the songs individually, but together, do they strike a good balance? But with the creation of the single song “WORLD MAKER,” including both the sound and lyrics, all at once we achieved that balance, so that when we included that song we could really say "this is the current exist†trace", and suddenly it all worked out. When this final piece fell into place, I began to like the direction our current exist†trace was moving on into with this increasing self-confidence, and because it was really so different from anything we'd done before I thought we were able to reaffirm ourselves with this album. However, even though I think this has made whatever we do next an even higher hurdle, I want to do my best to make even better and better music.

Mally: The only song that we had recorded without debuting live first was our titular song, “WORLD MAKER.”  I was able to create an image I liked with the other songs with the drums in one way or another, but with this song, if I played it safe, the song itself would become really boring, so it was a source of anxiety. That was when we talked about going about the drums as an engineer or something like that. I wanted to do something that was good, that listeners could relate to, so while putting myself into the drums, I recorded a song where I didn’t lose the rock sensibility while still being able to raise my standards for myself (laughs).

● What would you like exist†trace's position to be in the current all-girls' band scene?

miko: I think all-girls bands are always going to be a niche interest. But, I believe that girls who play instruments and who can rock are something to be admired, and to be able to stand out is a definite plus. That's why, no matter how we are seen, we'll stand tall and play the music that we believe in, and I want us to have acceptance that transcends gender. And I hope that that goal of ours can be something that can stir up the girls scene as a whole.

● Finally, a message to everyone in middle school who would like to play in a band.

Mally: Firstly, if you have an interest in anything, it's fine to just go for it with all your might without second-guessing yourself. Because even if you hit a wall, there will be a day where you'll see a way to get over it.

miko: We also just dived right in without second-guessing ourselves, and now we've realized a lot of things looking back. If you're wondering if you should start to play an instrument or start a band, we'll be in the same boat, so don't be scared - let's stand side-by-side and hold our heads high, because rocker girls will rule the world!

* Shojo manga refers to comic books aimed at a younger female audience, focusing on themes such as love, romance and relationships.

* The Takarazuka Revue is an all-female theatre troupe. Otokoyaku are male roles that are played by female actresses.

Q&A Section coming soon!

[jezabellgirlandfriends]

Review by JG

Girl off the Grid by Jillian Dodd & Kenzie Harp My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Refreshingly different!

I was a little hesitant about reading this book as it was almost marketed as something sitting in between fiction and nonfiction. There are a lot of factual events and locations which provide readers with a great deal of background around conservation projects in Costa Rica and this is told alongside the story of two characters brought together by a fashion magazine in order to report on the many fascinating and diverse aspects of this wonderful country.

We first meet blogger Camille Caldwell who has a large social media following based around her love for fashion. When she receives a phone call from a well-known fashion magazine offering her the trip, and opportunity, of a lifetime, she jumps at it. Camille is to share her adventure with wildlife photographer Adam Lloyd, who takes an instant dislike to Camille and everything she portrays. Putting his concerns aside though, Adam sees this trip as a way to raise his own profile, even if it means take girly fashion photos! When Adam finally meets Camille meet though, he finds her sweet and bubbly, although at times frustratingly ignorant, or so he thinks.

As the pair explore Costa Rica through a series of pre-planned trips, Camille finds herself roughing it a lot more than she expected and at this point, she does become a little whiny, both for readers and Adam alike. That said, she’s young and whilst the story causes you to forget her age at times, her personality soon settles down into an altogether more loveable character, which Adam also finds.

From forests to beaches, butterflies to sea turtles, this story takes readers on a voyage of discovery whilst watching Adam and Camille grow close. However, whilst they do grow close, please do not expect anything more than a gentle affection towards each other as their romance develops. This book is not heavy on the romance, with the exception of some kissing and youthful fun and games. That didn’t bother me, what had me totally frustrated and the main reason this story is a 3 star read was the ending. I turned over the last page, enjoying the conclusion to the story only to see that it had ended, with no epilogue. I’m not the biggest fan of forced and occasionally unnatural epilogues but to end this story where it did was simply a crime. I appreciate that the conservation projects were probably the main focus of this book but still, this ending left me feeling flat and wanting that little bit more.

Whilst a new writing partnership, mother and daughter, this was a well-written book and one which people will enjoy if only to experience all that Costa Rica has to offer.

This ebook was kindly provided by the author, publisher and Netgalley prior to release date in return for an honest and unbiased review.

We are proud to provide honest and unbiased reviews written from the heart.

Goodreads

Amazon US

Amazon UK

*** 20% of our profits during release week (and 10% thereafter) will be donated to the Sea Turtle Conservancy. It is the oldest sea turtle research and conservation group. It was founded in 1959 by Dr. Archie Carr. Their headquarters are in Florida, but they have programs worldwide that work to conserve sea turtle populations through education, research, advocacy, and protection of natural habitats. They also have a research station in Tortuguero, Costa Rica which was one of the places they visited in the book. ***

BLURB

From USA Today bestselling author, Jillian Dodd, and her daughter, Kenzie Harp, comes a travel romance that will take you on the adventure of a lifetime. NYC fashion blogger, Camille Caldwell, gets offered a dream job by her favorite magazine. They’re going to send her on an all-expenses paid eco-trip to Costa Rica. She doesn’t know what that means, but she assumes she’ll wear fabulous clothes, sip Piña Coladas on the beach, and have her photo taken “out in nature.” Really, the hardest part of the assignment will be giving up social media while she’s gone. Going off social media is no big deal for London-based wildlife photographer, Adam Lloyd. The only reason he even has an account is to share his photos with the world. He’s thrilled when an international publication wants to hire him, until he finds out it’s a fashion magazine. He decides to take the job anyway—after all, it will be great for his portfolio. But the minute he sees Camille, he knows it was a mistake. She has too much luggage, is too high maintenance, and way too pretty. When they meet, their feelings are mutual—they hate each other. Can these two stop fighting long enough to complete their assignment? Will Camille give up and go home when she discovers there’s nowhere to plug in her hair straightener? Or will they both realize that sometimes you have to go off the grid to find yourself?