#i cried so much my head started to hurt and my eyes got heavy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arrenjo · 4 days ago

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Summary: You meet Jack Abbot during a terrible shift as a nurse in labor and delivery.

Notes: After a really shitty shift, this is my coping mechanism. All similarities are coincidences, this is not an actual patient/situation that I have had but rather a mix of many. This is a separate storyline from the Robby series!!

Trigger/content warning: perinatal/intrapartum loss, loss of a child, infant loss (trying to tag/mention words appropriately so that people who have it filtered don’t see the post; the content warning only applies to the first few paragraphs)

You needed air, you needed out of the unit. Your chest felt heavy like you couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t lose your composure right here. Ultrasound techs, residents, other nurses from the postpartum unit, and your coworkers were all gathered around in an attempt to debrief what had just happened.

You were a part of the worst day of someone’s life, the day they lost a child, and that always weighed so heavily on you, but this one, this one didn’t make sense. Baby was fine until she wasn’t, you rushed her mom to the OR to get the baby out, but the NICU team worked her for an hour and never got a blip of a pulse. A complete concealed abruption was the cause.

“Need a minute,” You said suddenly and got up out of your chair and headed out of the unit, you felt eyes on you but you didn’t care. You took long, quick strides towards the staircase and up the stairwell onto the roof, your vision getting blurrier by the second. By the time you were crossing the roof, tears were streaming down your face. You ducked under the railing and sat parallel to the roof’s edge, pulling your knees to your chest. The cold air stung your lungs as you sobbed, able to let go now that there was no one around. You don’t know exactly how long you cried for, but when the tears stopped flowing you rested your head on your knees, looking out over the skyline. Your back hurt and you were starting to shiver, it was 4 am in Pittsburgh in November, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. You contemplated staying up here until your shift was over at 7, but surely someone would come looking by then.

You didn’t so much as move as the door to the roof opened, you were composed enough now to deal with your coworkers. You stayed in the same position, you weren’t ready to go back in just yet.

“Must be that kind of night,” A man said from behind you, leaning forward on the railing from the opposite side. Not a voice you were expecting. You turned to look at him briefly. He was older, salt and pepper curls and a black scrub top mostly hidden by a black zip up hoodie, you turned back to the skyline.

“A really fucking shitty one?” You countered

“A really fucking shitty one.” He agreed.

“Labor and delivery isn’t supposed to be shitty,” You said, not to him or to anyone in particular, really to just get it out of your system.

“Yeah, but when it is, it’s really shitty…” The man trailed and you were both silent for a moment. “How long have you worked L&D?” He asked.

“Five years. It’s been sad at times, for sure, but what just happened literally doesn’t make any fucking sense.” Your voice broke on ‘sense’ and you laid your forehead on your knees, willing yourself to keep it together. You had the patient volumes, you had seen some real shit, but this one was hard. You felt warmth over your back and arms, he had taken his jacket off and draped it over you.

“I’m really okay,” You said, starting to shrug his jacket off.

“I can see you shivering from here.” He retorted. You paused and closed your eyes, taking another deep breath. His jacket was warm and it smelled heavenly, it was comforting. Coupled with the fact that you didn’t have the capacity to fight with anyone right now, you stayed silent. He leaned on the railing for several more minutes then ducked under the railing and sat down in front of you, your feet inches from his thigh. He stretched his feet out to almost touch the edge of the roof. He leaned back on one of the poles of the rail and he was staring at you when you finally looked back up at him.

“You alright?” He asked. You just barely nodded your head.

“I will be.” You rested your chin on your knees, taking in the man in front of you. You were both silent for a beat, the hum of the city a soft soundtrack from the roof.

“I’m Jack,” He stuck his hand out and introduced himself. You gave him a halfhearted smile and introduced yourself, shaking his hand.

“Thanks for not letting me freeze, Jack. Where do you work?” You could see his badge clipped on the neckline of his scrub top but couldn’t quite make it out in the dim lighting.

“ED,” He responded. You let out a soft laugh.

“Props, I could never.” You said, shaking your head. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Eh, it’s not all bad…” He trailed off, looking out to the skyline. He cocked his head to the side after a moment.

“Just most of it.” He deadpanned. You let out a small chuckle at his crack and he smiled at you.

“Gonna go back in?” He asked, nodding towards the door. You sighed and sat up to stretch.

“We could just hide out here until 7?” He suggested, pulling himself up to stand, you laughed.

“Though I’ve truly considered it, I figure it’ll probably be in my best interest to go back in at some point. Can’t give away our hiding spot, and they’ll definitely come looking.” You said with a slightly more relaxed smile. This night sucked, but the company you were in helped. He was sweet, genuinely concerned.

“Of course, gotta protect the hiding spot.” He said with a small grin. His face changed, a look of genuineness washed over his features as he extended a hand to help you up from the concrete rooftop.

“I’m sorry your night sucks.” He said, his voice soft. You gave him a tight lipped smile and took his hand, pulling yourself up. “Anything I can do for you?” He asked. This man was genuinely so sweet and seemed to care a lot about someone he had just met. The genuine kindness made your stomach flutter.

“No, you’ve actually already helped a lot, thank you.” You said with a small smile. “I’m sorry your night sucks too, but it was nice to meet you.” You added.

“It’s been a pleasure, come hide with me again, yeah?” He asked with a smirk, his tone almost playful.

“For sure, but under better circumstances next time.” You said with a grin and gave him a wink. You let your smile fall and let seriousness fall over your features again.

“I hope your night gets better.” You said softly.

“You too,” he said with a tight lipped smile.

After a moment, you ducked under the railing and started towards the door, turning to look back at him one more time. You caught him watching you walk away and smiled, immediately turning back around and ducking your head so he didn’t see you blush. You tucked your hair behind your ear and opened the door to the stairwell, heading back to your unit.

By the time you swiped your badge to enter the unit, the slew of people had dispersed, which you were grateful for.

“You good?” One of your coworkers asked as you passed her in the hallway. You nodded,

“Better, thanks.” You said with a small smile. “Hey, do you know wh-“

The shrill sound of the staff assist alarm cut you off. You spun on your heel and sprinted in the direction of the alarm. When you got to the patient’s room, she was obviously post-seizure and disoriented. She was combative and screaming about someone trying to kill her.

Two nurses were working on putting her in soft restraints, you took the place of another younger nurse who was frozen in place, asking her to go get medication to help calm the patient down and to call the doctor. You turned to look at the patient when you felt a sharp pain around your eye socket. The patient had slipped out of one of the restraints and you were at perfect height for her elbow to collide with your eye in the midst of her flailing. You staggered backwards, your vision immediately blurry, and fell to the floor.

“Fuck,” you groaned, your hand reaching to cover your eye. You touched something wet and looked at your fingers. Blood.

“Oh, shit.” you heard, and in a flurry, everyone was around you. You were put into a wheelchair and wheeled out of the room. Someone at some point handed you an ice pack. You hissed as you put it to your eye.

“You have to go down to the ER,” someone said from behind you.

“I’ll take her,” another person volunteered.

“No, I’m fine.” You objected. Your head hurt like a bitch but other than that, you were good.

“I already called a code medic, they’re on the way” Another voice chimed in.

“Oh fuck me,” You groaned and leaned your head back. “I’m really fine, tell them to go away.” You insisted, closing your eyes.

“Oh, I’m gonna pretend my feelings aren’t hurt,” a familiar voice said. Your eyes snapped open to Jack crouching in front of you, already assessing. Two things dawned on you in that moment: you were still wearing his jacket, and he was a doctor.

Nothing was wrong with being a doctor, but they usually weren’t as kind or as caring as Jack had been to you on the roof. Most of the doctors you worked with were real dicks to the nurses.

“Lemme see,” He said softly, gently taking your hand with the ice pack away from your eye. His thumb brushed your brow bone and you flinched.

“You’ve got a cut that I think needs a couple of stitches but I can’t tell for sure. I need to get you to the ED to clean you up and look with better light,” He said. “You also gotta have a head CT, that was a hard hit.”

“I’m really fine,” You said, he shook his head.

“Don’t fight me on this,” He warned, “Let me make sure you’re good.” He shined a pen light in your eye and you flinched again. He raised an eyebrow at you, the look on his face told you everything you needed to know.

“Okay, okay. Can I at least walk?” You asked, he laughed and unlocked your wheelchair, already pushing you to the ED.

“Does this answer your question?” He said as he continued walking and pushing your chair.

“Don’t make me roll my eyes, it hurts.” You said with a small smile. He pushed your chair into the elevator and swiped his badge for the ED.

“I didn’t mean to steal your jacket, I honestly forgot I had it on until I saw you,” You filled the silence. Not being able to see his face was making it hard to gauge his reaction. He sighed.

“I wasn’t gonna ask for it back, though you could have used that to see me again instead of taking an elbow to the eye,” He ribbed.

“Oh, yeah, should have thought of that first,” You said sarcastically. He wheeled you into a room and offered a hand for you to stand up. You took it and sat on the stretcher. He turned the overhead light on. You shielded your eyes.

“Jesus Christ,”

“Sorry, give me just a sec, I need to get sutures and lidocaine.” He said, your eyes widened.

“You weren’t kidding about the stitches?” He chuckled and shook his head, starting out of the room. He turned to look back at you in the doorframe.

“Not at all. Keep the ice pack there, I’ll be back in a few. I’ll put you next for a head CT. Any chance you’re pregnant?” He asked, you scoffed.

“Not at all,” You responded. He tapped the doorframe and nodded, disappearing into the hallway. Minutes passed and he was back with a handful of supplies. He sat down on a stool at the side of the bed and laid the head of stretcher back. He set up his workspace and drew up medicine.

“Lidocaine stings like a bitch,” he said. You nodded, closing your eyes.

“Be gentle,” You warned, he chuckled.

“One, two, three, little pin prick and lots of burning.” You did your best not to flinch but hissed as the stinging started.

“Motherfucker…” You winced.

“It will be better in a second.” He said, taking the needle out. A few seconds passed and you felt him touch the skin around your eye gently, you jumped at the initial contact. “Just relax,” He soothed. “I’ve got you.”

Jack set to work on the sutures, it only took about four before he cut the thread.

��All done. CT is ready for you,” He said, sitting the head of the stretcher up and offering you his hand again. You took it and sat down in the wheelchair.

“Now I’m starting to think you’re the one that wants to spend time with me,” You teased. “Hey, do you accompany all your patients to CT or am I just special?” He handed you your ice pack back with an eye roll and pushed you out of the room in the wheelchair.

“You went through such great lengths to see me again I figure you might as well get what you wanted.” He said playfully with a squeeze of your shoulder. You put your hand on top of his as he wheeled you down the hall.

You took a sharp left into CT and he locked the wheels, helping you up onto the table.

“Thank you,” You said softly. He nodded.

“I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

The whole scan only took a few minutes, he wheeled your chair back into the hospital room and helped you sit.

“It’s clear, but you need to go home and rest. You need to stay home for at least 48 hours. You probably have a concussion. Do you have someone that can come pick you up?” He asked. You chewed on your lip and shook your head.

“I can uber?” You asked. He shook his head at you.

“Not a chance, I can take you home.” He said. You laughed.

“Seriously, I get off in half an hour anyway. Stay here, I don’t want you driving.” He pressed. Your head really hurt and you honestly weren’t sure if you had the reaction time to be able to drive in Pittsburgh morning traffic. You nodded once, laying back on the stretcher and closing your eyes.

“I’ll be back in a few and we can go,” He said, flicking the lights off. You weren’t sure how long he was gone, you had dozed off. He woke you by gently rubbing your arm.

“Hey, you ready?” He asked softly. When you opened your eyes, he was staring at you. His eyes full of tenderness and caring, he helped you off the stretcher. He linked his arm with yours as you walked with him.

“Careful, Dr. Abbot. People are gonna get the wrong idea,” You teased with a smirk.

“Just to steady you, can’t have you falling.” He said with a wink. Your stomach did a flip and your cheeks flushed. Headache be damned, this hot ass doctor was flirting with you. You got to the physician’s parking lot where his truck sat and he opened your door and helped you climb in. He started the truck and handed you his phone.

“Type in your address,” he said, putting the truck in reverse. You chewed on your bottom lip.

“Are you sure this isn’t too much? What about my car?” You started to worry. Not that Ubers weren’t plentiful in Pittsburgh, but it seemed pretty out of his way to do this for you.

“I don’t mind, I’m only a phone call away if you need me for anything.” He said. You nodded and typed in your address on his GPS app on his phone and handed it back to him. He took one look at the screen and let out a snort.

“Yeah I think I can handle that.” He said with a smirk. He closed the app off of the phone and started to drive. He wasn’t using the directions and seemed familiar with the surroundings.

“You live close by?” You asked after a few minutes of driving. He nodded.

“You could say that,” He answered. “What apartment number?” He asked as he pulled into a space and put the truck in park.

“417,” You said, gathering your things. He nodded, the corner of his mouth tugging up and got out, rounding the truck and coming to your door. He took your backpack from you and slung it over his shoulder, offering his hand to help you out. You took his hand and slid out of the truck, wincing as your feet hit the ground.

“Thank you for doing this,” You said again.

“Anything to help a neighbor out,” He quipped. You did a double take.

“You live here too?” You asked, your eyes wide. He let out a laugh.

“Not just here,” He responded as he linked his arm with yours again, walking you to the elevator. He pressed the ‘up’ button and the elevator started to descend.

“How’s your head?” He asked, you sighed.

“Honestly? Really fuckin’ hurts,” You grimaced as the loud ‘ding’ of the elevator signaled that it was at the ground floor. Jack stepped on the elevator with you.

“I have Tylenol though, I’ll take some when I get in, hang on, let me get my keys,” you said, unzipping the backpack that Jack had slung over his shoulder. You dug your keys out of the bag.

“So, you gonna tell me which apartment is yours?” You asked, getting off the elevator when it stopped at your floor and walking down the hall to your apartment. He chuckled and shook his head.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” He said.

“Try me,”

“That one,” He pointed at the door marked ‘414’ as you passed it. You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him,

“You’re fucking with me,” You said, studying the look on his face. “There’s no way, I would have seen you before,”

“Okay yeah I’m fucking with you,” You rolled your eyes and scoffed, turning away from him and continuing to walk towards your apartment.

“But you’re still not going to believe me when I tell you.” He said.

“I’m not playing that game twice,” You said as you unlocked your door.

“317,” He said. You spun on your heel as you pushed the door open.

“You live directly below me?” You asked skeptically.

“Honest to God,” He said, fishing his keys out of his pocket and showing you the key engraved with ‘317’. You laughed and looked up at him.

“Do you hate me, just a little bit?” You asked, still in disbelief.

“I’ve honestly never been annoyed, more concerned?”

“I do drop things quite often, sorry,” You admitted sheepishly. You held the door open for him and he walked inside. “It’s kind of a mess, work has been kicking my ass lately,”

“I get that,” He said, taking in your apartment.

“Thank you for everything you did for me, Jack.” You said softly, taking half a step closer to him. He locked eyes with you and nodded.

“Anytime. Can I put my number in your phone, in case you need anything?” He asked.

“That’s incredibly sweet but you don’t have to,” You said, taking your phone out of your back pocket and unlocking it.

“I know, but I want to,” He said, taking your phone out of your hand and typing in his number. “Though I guess you could stomp really loud and I would hear it,” He added, handing your phone back to you with a smirk.

“We can figure out something about your car later this week, or I can drive you to work whenever you’re well enough to go back?” He offered. You nodded.

“That sounds good, thank you again.” You said. He nodded.

“I’m just a phone call away, or a good stomp, if you need me,” He said with a wink, turning to leave. You laughed as he walked out the door.

“Have a good day, Jack.” You said, holding the door open with one foot.

“You too, get some rest. Call me if you need anything,” He said, turning to walk away. You closed the door behind him, and then realized you still had his jacket on.

You contemplated opening the door again, but you opted to keep it for now, he could get it back later— right?

#the pitt #jack abbot #the pitt x reader #the pitt x you #the pitt fanfiction #jack abbot x reader #jack abbot x you

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holeforzenin · 8 months ago

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First time with Yuta!! ₊˚⊹ᡣ𐭩

Not proofread, both are 19. Don’t take this seriously I wrote this while I was like half asleep :p

Yuta loses every factor of his well-being the literal second he feels your tight warm pussy enveloping his cock as he slowly thrusts it into you, feeding you inch after inch of his cock for the first time, he literally shivers as he feels your leaking hole coating his twitching dick with your essence.

You both were virgins so he kept promising you over and over that he’ll be so gentle and soft with you, he’d rather die than ever hurt you even if it was an accident. He’d question and constantly ask if you were sure that you were ready for it to happen and even though you kept reminding him that it was fine, it’s bound to hurt even if it’s a little, for the first time but he’s just so sweet and caring he had to make sure you were 100% okay with it!

But after he stuffed his cock deep—all the way into your hole to the point where the small huffs of his pubic hair planted on the base of his cock were tickling and grazing your puffy clit so deliciously, the wave of pleasure was just sooo overbearing for him. It’s something he never felt before even when he’s jerking off. The feeling is just not comparable, not even close—your pussy felt like fucking heaven to him. He whined, his breathing growing heavier as he stared down at your pretty face distorting in pleasure and pain. His eyes filled with pure lust and adoration as he wrapped your legs around his waist. “Fu-fuck! So this is what it hah!—Feels like?? Your pussy feels soo good baby, so warm and tight around my cock. You look so pretty like this” he moaned, his hand moving to slowly pull his shirt off his head, revealing his toned abs and bulging biceps. You bit your lips as you stared at the eye candy but quickly got caught off guard when he starts fucking himself in and out of you, his veiny dick dragging against your sensitive velvet walls.

You moaned out loud, he murmured a low “fuck” under his breath as he sped up the pace, feeling your pussy growing even more gushier and creamy as he opens it up with his cock. He pushes his dick so deep into you to the brim that it’s so brutal at the way his angry tip hits your cervix as if it it had personal problems everytime he forces his inches into you. You whimpered as the two of you held eye contact before his head fell back in pleasure, your cunt fluttered around his hard cock after seeing the sexy scene of your boyfriend being pleasured and fucked out. Your eyes roll back in your head as his tip nudges against your g-spot so deliciously, “Mmm baby your pussy looks so pretty being split open around my cock like this” he groaned, moving his thumb to rub messy circles on your clit.

“Ohmygosh Yutaa I love you so much, fuck! it’s so fucking good” Your back arches as you cried out, he uses that as his chance to grip your waist tighter and pound his cock into you at a deeper angle, your tight walls squeezing so snugly around his cock, threatening to milk it dry.

“Shit- I love you ngh! —too pretty girl! So so much! Love this little pussy too, taking my dick so well. You're doing such a good job baby” He moaned out, almost choking on air as he muttered curses under his breath that you didn’t even know existed.

Heavy meaty balls slapping flushed against your asshole as he bit his lips, feeling himself approaching his release. “Fuck baby m’gonna cum, be a good girl and cum with me yeah?” He basically begged, voice sounding pathetic as ever as he continues toying with your clit. You nodded, eyes screwing shut as you felt him twitching inside of you like crazy, his leaky tip grazing against your favorite spots that had your toes curled against his lower back.

“Lets—cum! Fuck yuta, cum inside of me, need you to fill me up pleaseee” you begged, Yuta gaved you a look that screamed “say less” before you felt steamy hot liquid overflowing in your tight hole, followed by your sticky cum coating his cock. A white O ring appearing at the base of his cock as he continued fucking his sticky seed back into you. “Fuckkk—Attta girl, taking my cock so well, this pretty pussy was made for me baby” He beamed a smile down at you, so innocent and sweet that you can’t believe it’s the same man making your cunt ache while he stretches it out the very second. “You look so beautiful like that my love, all pretty and stuffed with my cum”. In conclusion, after this he kept his cock stuffed inside you so you can cockwarm him while both of your cum leaks out of your overflowing hole.

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straows · 3 months ago

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You loved him. But he threw it away.

Tw: I cried writing this, Angst angst and more angst, Cheating, Break up, Alcohol, Betrayal, short blurb, bad living situations/financial problems mentioned.

Song: crawling back to you - hozier cover.

You adored him. Everything about him. Your eyes were so full of love when you looked at him. Always that some, head over heels, puppy love, doe-eyed look. You gave him everything.

Gojo looked down at you, and you were just staring at him, admiring him, adoring him. He was your everything.

“Something on my face?” He’d smile, that cute little grin on his lips that you adored.

“You’re so perfect.” You’d whisper so softly it would take Gojo’s breath away. That look of love had his heart skipping a beat and his knees growing weak.

You two were at a party. You were dressed in a cute little outfit, and had been sipping on the same beer all night. Gojo however was about four shots deep. He was definitely more than tipsy.

But he’d always return to you, giggling like a love sick fool, wrapping his arms around you like you were his life line.

However, tonight was different.

You couldn’t find him.

Where was he?

You’d pour your drink out and throw it away, before asking around for him.

You started from the front of the house, all the way to the back.

“Have you seen my boyfriend? Gojo?” You would gently tap on people’s shoulders. Feeling an uneasy feeling settle in the pit of your stomach the longer you couldn’t find him.

You finally stopped asking around and just began opening doors. The bathroom? Had two strangers making out. A bedroom? Someone was throwing up all over the duvet.

However, it wasn’t until you made it to the last door. Without hesitation, you opened it. But your heart shattered the moment your eyes landed on the bed.

Gojo had some stranger riding him.

That wasn’t even the worst part, because when he looked over at you, it was like he didn’t recognize you. His eyes were so fogged by lust and alcohol, that he thought you were some stranger.

“We’re kinda busy. Unless you wanted to join? You have a nice enough body.” He’d wink at you, before turning his attention back to the woman riding him.

Tears were rolling down your face before you could stop them. Your breath was stuttered. Throat tight and mouth dry.

Slowly, stiffly turning away, you began to walk out of that house. Step by step, your heart breaking.

You loved him. You loved him so much it hurt. So much so that you never even imagined that he could do this. You loved him so hard that his actions left your heart cracked and in ruin.

You walked home that night. Feet sore and cracked, bleeding a bit around the heel from how far you walked.

But when you made it home, you just sat down and stared at the wall. You didn’t make a sound, you couldn’t. You were in denial. But what followed denial was a sadness you weren’t ready for. It was the kind of sadness that left you empty.

White lashes fluttered open and groan heaved past his lips. Gojo sat up slowly, holding his head. “Fuck I’m hung over… baby?” Feeling to his left, he felt his hand touch someone. But when he looked over, it wasn’t you. It was some stranger.

He inhaled sharply and immediately shot out of bed. Tripping over his feet as he got dressed. He’d never moved so fast in his life.

Scrambling out the door, he called an uber. And when the car parked, he rushed into your shared home.

He saw you on the couch, still awake. Your eyes were red and your face was puffy, you looked exhausted but your face was empty.

But when you looked at him, he crumbled.

Your look of love and complete and utter adoration, was gone. Replaced by something that knocked the air from his chest and had him swallowing thickly.

“Y/n- I-I-“ he knew you knew. How could you not when you looked at him with such sorrow? Such pain? Such betrayal? “It’s- it’s not what it seems like.”

You just stared at him. That ache in your chest was heavy. So heavy it was hard to look away. “Have a nice night?” You mumbled, your voice hoarse from crying so hard the night before.

Gojo’s brows furrowed and his eyes grew glassy. That feeling of guilt began to swallow him whole. The guilt that made his limbs heavy and his eyes burn. “Baby- please,” he begged. He didn’t know what for. Forgiveness? For you to just be angry at him? To yell and to scream instead of looking at him like he just destroyed your hopes and dreams. And he had.

Slowly, you stood up. “I hope it was worth it,” you murmured before grabbing your phone and leaving the house. Not looking back as you left Gojo to hold onto his chest to try and calm the pain.

“I didn’t- I didn’t mean for this- I- I was drunk I-“ he spoke to himself. But even his own words felt alien to his ears.

He’d ruined 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨. Just for moments of pleasure. He threw away your relationship, your love, your future… and he couldn’t blame anyone but himself.

So in your shared home, he’d never felt more alone. Clarity brought pain, pain that he was to blame. Of course he was. His own inner voice mocked him. His nails dug into his knees as began to cry. To mourn his own mistakes, to mourn the loss of you.

He’d ruined everything.

But he wouldn’t let this be the end.

He could fix this.

Couldn’t he?

It’d been two months since his betrayal. Two months since you’d left him standing there. Two months since you took your belongings and left your shared home.

Two months since he’d seen you.

His mistakes had left him broken. But he knew he could only blame himself. It didn’t hurt any less.

You’d left behind a hoodie, and it smelled like you still do this day. Gojo made sure to spray your perfume on his pillows so they’d still smell like you.

Your eyes hung low. You were tired. Exhausted. You’d had to get a job as a waitress to pick up the income that Gojo’s absence left you without.

You were working exhaustingly long shifts. Picking up doubles when you could. Having almost no off days.

You’d lost weight. You didn’t look well. You were worked to the bone, but you didn’t have time to apply for a better job. Rent was so expensive, even in the shitty neighborhood you now lived in.

Retying your apron, you grabbed a pen before heading to a new table. Not yet looking up, you greeted the guest. “Welcome to Joseph’s boil, how can I hel-…” your words fell on the tip of your tongue as you saw him.

He was just as shocked as you. His shock turned to worry and concern. He’d never seen you in such poor condition. Was it possible for someone to look the way you did in just two months?

His heart ached but rejoiced as he finally was able to see you again. To hear your voice. To inhale your scent.

“Y/n?” He said your name so softly.

His voice broke the flood gates. Your hands had started shaking and your bottom lip quivered. Your pretty eyes turned glassy with so much emotion not even the finest author could put it into words.

Slamming down your apron, you quickly fled the restaurant. Despite the heavy rain or the fact that you were getting soaked.

“Wait!” Gojo got up from his seat, the chair falling back with an ear piercing screech.

He ran after you. His shirt sticking to his form as water drenched him just as much as it drenched you.

“Leave me alone!” You yelled, your voice pathetically shaky. You choked on your words as you cried and tried to speed off.

“No! Please- please just wait!” He managed to catch up and grab you by the wrist and pull you back in.

“Get off of me!” You yelled, and tried to yank yourself out of his grip but he wrapped his arms around you and you held you against him. Even as you pounded your fists against his chest. “I hate you! I hate you so much!”

Your words pierced his heart, your tears felt like acid on his skin but he held you close. Held you even when your body just went limp against him.

“I hate you…” you’d whimper into his chest, sobbing as everything came crushing down on you at once. “How could you do this to me?! Why?!”

“I don’t know. Im so sorry,” was all he could whisper.

And at the end of the day, even when you were just holding each other in the rain, nothing could repair the pain he left forever in your heart. The insecurity and trust issues he planted in your soul. Nothing would ever fix what he broke.

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk #imagine #jjk x reader #jjk gojo #jjk angst #angst no comfort #tw cheating

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moonstruckme · 5 months ago

Note

hi honey! this is quite a personal ask and it's a very touchy subject so if you don't want to write it that's perfectly fine!

I recently found out I'm infertile and won't be able to have biological children- I would love it if you wrote something with poly!marauders comforting a reader whose always wanted biological children but finds out she's infertile?

no pressure because this is a sensitive topic- but it would mean the world if you do x

Hi lovely, I'm so sorry about how jarring that must be for you. Thanks for your request <3

cw: grief related to infertility

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 626 words

You hadn’t cried when you found out. It had been a slow, seeping revelation. A shock you don’t know how to get past. So it comes as a surprise when, after sharing the news with your boyfriends, tears spill from your eyes.

Sirius moves first, as he often does, his arms wrapping tight around your middle. “I’m sorry,” he says, pulling you to his chest. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You don’t know if it’s a loss for him the way it is for you; you never really got around to talking about it, and now it’s a moot point. You appreciate the sentiment anyway. Remus’ hand has been on your knee since you’d sat them down on the couch, a comfort for whatever difficult conversation he sensed was coming, but he’s still now, in shock as you have been. On Sirius’ other side, you hear a dismayed breath go out of James.

“I’m sorry, too,” you whimper. Sirius doubles down on the comfort, arms a vice and mushing kiss after heavy kiss into your hair while you weep.

“Hey,” says James, gently. His hand comes to rest on your back, big enough to touch both shoulder blades. “Shh, it’s alright. It’s going to be okay.”

“Jamie,” Remus murmurs.

“It is, lovely. If you really want it, we’ll figure something out.”

“But we don’t need to do that today.” Remus’ tone is at once stern and gentle. His pinkie makes a couple of short strokes over your leg. “I know how much it meant to you to have kids on your own, dovey,” he says, softer. “I’m sorry.”

James sounds wounded. “I only meant that we’re with you. Or that we’re here for you, you know. Whatever you need.”

You pick your head up from Sirius’ chest. Sirius allows it, though by the way his hands tighten on you only just, so that you can give James a watery smile.

“I know,” you tell him. And you do. It’ll all be alright in the end is the motto James lives by; whatever the opposite of a defeatist is, your sweetheart boyfriend is that all over. But you only want to be sad right now. It’s a new sort of mourning for you, mourning a future you’ve never known and now you can’t have. “It’s okay, I get it.”

James’ expression is already creased with sympathy, but at your teary eyes he starts to look like he may cry, too. “I love you,” he says, squeezing your shoulder softly. “We’ve got you, you know that.”

You nod, because you do. You feel it like a pleasant weight right now, just in the center of your hurt.

Sirius has begun swaying you gently, his lips pressed to your head like he plans simply to leave them there. “What do you want to do, sweetness? Just for now, what do you need?”

You try to clear your throat, but your voice still comes out fractured. “I don’t know.”

“It’s okay to just be sad,” says Remus. His voice has dropped to a soothing timbre, like logs crackling in a fireplace or the sea shushing over rock. “If you want to just stay here for a while, or cry some more, that’s perfectly alright.”

His understanding draws another sob out of you, your face going back to Sirius’ chest as you give into grief.

“Oh, my love.” Sirius hugs you even tighter, and then a second pair of arms comes around you, James hugging you both. Remus’ touch moves up your leg as you feel the couch dip closer to you, his lips pressing to the side of your head a moment later. You feel engulfed by love and caring. “I’m sorry, lovely,” Sirius whispers against your hairline. “We’ve got you.”

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aboutcustardcreams · 7 months ago

Text

Until next time

Agathario x reader

The scene in the forest where Agatha delivered the baby is living in my head rent free and I just couldn't resist the urge to write an os about it. Rewrite, actually. It's my first Agatha's fic, so I'm pretty excited. Hope you guys like it <3

warning: angst, a touch of fluff

next chapter (time skip)

The baby’s soft cries echoed in the forest, as a reminder that a life has just begun, tender and innocent. Agatha was perched by a tree, only wrapped in a light and crumbled vest. Her cloak dropped somewhere a few feet away. The sweat and the pressure at her lower abdomen finally subsided, making her feel like she could breathe properly again. There was blood between her legs, staining her inner thighs, flooding and then drying out to her knees. Everything kind of hurt, her eyes were heavy, but her senses stayed alert.

“Move,” the Green Witch muttered in a placid order.

You looked into her eyes, slowly shaking your head, as you stood in front of Agatha, shielding her and the baby, “No.”

The witch felt a wave of relief wash over her when she heard your simple, yet categorical answer. She was in no condition to fight against Rio on this, despite the fire in her eyes and the weak magic already tingling her digits.

Rio sighed, “we aren’t doing this. You promised–”

“I know what I did,” you interjected, closing your hands into fists, “But I changed my mind. I am allowed to change my mind,” you pointed out, voice thick with emotion. You couldn’t bring yourself to say goodbye to a child you didn’t even hold in your arms yet. “I-I can’t let you take him,” turning around, your eyes focused on the baby’s tiny head peeking out of the little blanket Agatha wrapped him in. “I mean, he’s innocent. It can’t be his time…”

“My loves–”

“Just let him live,” Agatha interjected, her voice both exhausted and desperate. She never felt so scared before, “Please, don’t take him from me.”

When he clasped his tiny hands in her long wavy hair, her lips brushed against his head, “I love you,” she smiled, rocking him ever so gently, “I love you so much.”

Your heart melted at the sight before your eyes. Rio felt a slight indecision tugging at her chest. She never thought the first time she would hold her son would be to carry him in the afterlife. It felt cruel. It was cruel. But he was sick, he could feel his disease, hovering like a shadow around him.

“I’m not giving up. Not yet,” you insisted.

“You talk as if I didn’t wish for him to live,” Rio retorted in disbelief.

“Oh, spare us, Rio!” Agatha snapped. “You’re the Green Witch, it’s not like you’ve got no power at your disposal. And yet you’re choosing the easy way.”

Rio couldn’t believe her ears. “The easy way you say? Are you nuts? He is my son too, Agatha!”

You frowned at their bickering. Last thing you wanted was to indulge in this fight. This moment was supposed to bring joy to your lives. A child was born, your child for fuck’s sake. Why couldn’t you three be happy about it? Why couldn’t you cherish the moment? He was sick, but you could still try to save him. Work together to make it possible. You, Agatha and Rio weren’t common witches after all, and if there was someone able to find a loophole, it would be you.

“Then start acting more like a mother,” Agatha retorted, voice dropping in a whisper.

“It’s not my fault I’ve got responsibilities, Agatha. I never asked to be like this,” Rio’s voice wavered a bit, her heart thumping in her chest with painful insistence.

“My loves, please we shouldn’t–”

The sound of Agatha’s mocking laughter prevented you from finishing off that sentence. “What about the responsibilities towards our son? He should come first.”

“Our son is sick, and in order for him to live, many will have to die. It will cause absolute chaos.”

“So be it. All I care about is my son.” Her icy blue eyes sparkling dangerously as she said those words with force and a bit of selfishness.

You considered Rio’s words; a bunch of conflicted emotions passed through you. Rio wouldn’t say those things if she knew there was another way out of this. But maybe if she couldn’t find it, you could, if only you were granted more time to figure it out.

“If you take him, I’ll hate you forever,” she insisted rather calmly now.

“Agatha…”

Color drained from your face at those words. You knew she didn’t mean that. She couldn’t. When a muffled sound slipped from Rio’s lips, a mixture between a choked sob and a scoff, you drew closer to her, your hands immediately finding her cheeks. You weren’t supposed to pick sides. You were a family, and it should stay like that.

“She doesn’t mean it,” you said both softly and firmly, thumbs brushing against her cheekbones. She rolled her eyes and you took a firmer grip on her face, so that she would focus on your eyes, “Rio, listen to me, she doesn’t–”

“I do.” Agatha deadpanned, cutting you off.

You hissed, “Quiet, Agatha.”

Rio let out a quiet humorless chuckle, when the other witch grumbled something under her breath.

“We are just scared, my love. We want this child to live, we need him to, do you understand that?”

When your voice croaked slightly, her hands tangled in your hair and pulled you closer to her, “I know, baby. I know,” she cooed, getting lost in those wet lashes of yours.

You swallowed thickly, “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

She leaned in and brushed her lips right under your eye, her magic immediately mingling with yours. Your eyelids fluttered close and you let out a faint mewl.

“I can only offer time,” she said, once she pulled away, so that she could meet both yours and Agatha’s eyes.

You arched an eyebrow confusedly, “what does it mean?”

“How much time?” Asked Agatha.

She shrugged, as if she didn’t know or she couldn’t really say. Her behavior only served the purpose of making you more nervous. Crossing your arms over your chest, you knew that you’d have to use this time to master your own powers. To make sure that whenever Rio intended on collecting your son’s soul, you’d be ready to fight. Not her of course, but the process of Death itself. You were a necromancer witch, whose powers were completely opposite to Rio’s. While her job was to keep order between life and death, your powers could easily break that balance if you wanted to. Meaning that you could resurrect life forms.

“You know I’ll still try when the time comes, don’t you?”

Rio looked at you and despite your words, she smiled, “I know, love. Thought I’d hate you if you decided to interfere, but honestly, I hope you win.”

It was your turn to crack a smile in her direction. “It’s not a competition, Rio. All I want is to keep our child alive.”

She hummed, without voicing her concerns out loud, not wanting to add more to yours and Agatha’s shoulders, “You two will make a good job.”

You and Agatha exchanged a confused look, “you sound like you’re leaving us behind,” she trailed off.

When Rio averted her eyes, lips pressed in a thin line, you were sure you felt your heart shatter.

“No, she’s not-” you looked at Agatha, hoping to have got it all wrong. But when you spotted tears welling up in her eyes, you realized the truth.

“Rio, please, don’t do this–”

“I must. I can’t be seen around him,” her tone was sad, yet you could still feel the love filling each word. You kept shaking your head in denial. “Might be difficult to believe but there are women above me I respond to.”

“The Fates have no power if you don’t do your part,” Agatha pointed out, hoping to be right.

Rio smacked her lips in return. “It’s not that simple. Atropos, the eldest of the three, could give me a really hard time if I disobey.”

You clenched your jaw at her words. The thought of handing your son’s life in the hands of those crones made absolutely no sense to you. They shouldn’t be entitled to take the life of an innocent just like that. You were a necromancer witch, meaning that you could change things. For a long time you buried that part of yourself within you, because of the things you’ve been told all your life. Interfering with the natural order of the things was wrong; your power was an abomination, but at that moment, all those warnings sounded like bullshit.

Rio sensed your distress, her fingers brushed yours, “I’ll keep him hidden for as long as I can.”

Then she turned to Agatha and pointed at the baby in the silent, almost timid request to approach him. She still had to see him properly after all. Agatha nodded and moved the child so that he would face her, tucking a bit of the blanket underneath his chin to better expose his tiny face.

Rio brushed a strand of Agatha’s hair first, “you did amazing, my love,” she praised her, causing a light brush on the witch’s cheeks. She couldn’t quite believe she, you three created such a beautiful baby boy from scratch.

“Hi” she cooed, now focusing on the newborn. You leaned against the tree, the same tree Agatha was perched by, and looked from above the sweet interaction going on. Rio’s fingertips grazed over his tiny, perfect nose. “I can’t promise you a life devoid of challenges and pain, but I confide in your mothers to always make sure you’re happy and loved,” she lifted her eyes to meet yours and Agatha’s. A watery smile tugged at her lips, “And trust me, you’re so so loved already, little one.”

You wiped the corners of your eyes and so did Agatha.

“We should name him Nicholas,” she said after a moment of contemplation.

Knowing the meaning of the name, you felt like you couldn’t agree more on it, “Nicholas Scratch,” you added, “cause we made him from scratch.”

Rio turned towards you, while her fingers played with the baby’s tender little hands. “That’s perfect, my love. Isn’t it, Agatha?”

Agatha swallowed thickly, already mourning the loss of Rio, despite her being still there. She nodded, and then she tangled a hand in Rio’s hair, pulling her closer to her face. For a moment she only leaned against her forehead, inhaling her sweet scent of flowers. Then the Green Witch took the initiative and placed her lips on top of hers, savoring with extreme gentleness, the plumpiness of Agatha’s. You ran a hand in Agatha’s hair, fingers stroking her scalp to let her feel your presence too, while your eyes darted on Rio. When Agatha let out a choked sob in Rio’s mouth, overwhelmed by everything that had just happened in such a short time, the other hushed her softly, “it’s going to be okay.”

Neither you nor Agatha were sure about it, but you had no other choice than to believe her.

“Take care of your moms, Nicky,” she later added, placing one last kiss on his forehead and then on Agatha’s.

Once she stood up again, she focused her attention on you. In an ideal world, you’d be her enemy, because of the powers you possessed. And yet, against all the odds, you became her lover, one of the most important persons in her life.

“Don’t be sad…”

You nibbled on your inner cheek so hard you drew blood. With your arms crossed over your chest, you struggled to spill a single word because you didn’t trust your voice at the moment. Your entire body was shaking on the inside. Agatha never saw you look so fragile before. It felt like a stab in her chest to witness her family fall apart like that.

“You’re asking too much of me,” you kept your eyes down, focusing on the tip of your boots.

“Nena, look at me,” Rio tried to meet your eyes, but you purposefully kept it down, shaking it stubbornly and hopelessly. She smiled, feigning hurt in her tone as she continued, “You wouldn’t let me go without a proper kiss now, would you?”

Despite your best efforts, you let out a small watery chuckle at her playful teasing, “I hate that you’re doing this.”

“It’s for Nicky…” She said simply.

Agatha buried her face in the baby’s naked shoulder, finding comfort in his pure and unique scent.

“And I am sorry,” when you finally met her eyes, Rio cupped your cheeks, “so sorry you don’t get to be his mother. It’s your right to be.”

But Rio’s lips curled into a reassuring smile, despite her sadness. “Don’t be. I’ll get my turn eventually… and for now, I’ll be his–”

“Please, don’t say shadow,” you muttered, and that elicited a small chuckle out of the Green Witch. If you turned around you’d see Agatha’s lips stretch into a smile too.

“Guardian, then.”

You hummed and licked your lips, tasting the saltiness of your own tears in your mouth.

“Now come here, I waited enough–”

The witch pulled you closer with ease. Your body crashed into hers but it was okay because she was ready to hold you.

Agatha could see Rio’s face as she hugged you. She spotted a single tear slip down her eye and her stomach lurched. When you two pulled away, Rio took a few steps back, pulling the green cloak over her head. She lingered a few seconds to memorize the scene before her. You dropped on your knees and landed next to Agatha. Her head immediately lolled on your shoulder, and you turned yours to place your lips in her hair.

Rio waved softly, then blew a kiss to each of you, “Nos vemos, mis amores.”

You and Agatha nodded quietly, watching the Green Witch disappear before your eyes. Agatha let out a silent sob when she did; your arms immediately wrapped around her and the baby in a protective embrace.

“We will be fine, Aggs.”

When Agatha met your gaze, eyes full of hope and vulnerability, you took a mental vow to protect her and Nicky whatever the cost.

“Yeah,” she echoed with a smile you immediately reciprocated. She closed her eyes when you leaned in to brush your lips against her still clammy forehead.

When the baby started crying again, you two pulled away and focused your attention on Nicky. He looked rather pale for your liking, a little warm too. You knew what he needed and so did Agatha. You placed a tender kiss on his cheek, Agatha’s lips curling into a soft smile, while you did. Then you stood, hands on your hips, eyes roaming around your surroundings like a predator looking for its prey. You didn’t want to do this, but you were just a mother trying to keep your son alive.

When Agatha attempted to get up, you interjected, “stay here for now. Let me do the rest.”

Her expression shifted from confusion to worry, “You shouldn’t be doing this alone.”

“Agatha,” you merely rolled your eyes at that, “You just had our baby, I think it’s not the end of the world if you sit this one out,” your voice laced with a hint of playfulness despite the things you had to do. It’s not that you never killed before, cause you did. Not in cold blood though. You forced yourself into believing that it wouldn’t be much different. Once a wise person told you, a witch must do anything in her power to survive and there’s no shame in that. You were looking at her now, as her attention remained fixed on you.

“Be careful,” it was supposed to sound like an order, but the softness in her eyes betrayed her.

You chuckled lightly, “I always am,” you concluded, pulling the cloak up over your head.

#agatha all along #agatha harkness #rio vidal #wlw #agatha harkness x reader #rio vidal x reader #agatha harkness x rio vidal x reader #nicholas scratch #witches #angst and fluff #kathryn hahn #aubrey plaza

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snoopyearss · 1 year ago

Text

When jjk characters call you “clingy” pt. 2

Feat. crybaby-ish!reader

Gojo, Geto, Toji

I’m sorry it took so long! I triiiied to make them as realistic as possible based off of their characters so pls don’t bite my head off if it’s not accurate omg it’s call fanfiction for a reason

Part 1 if you missed it!

Satoru Gojo

Guilt and shame filled his body after that little interaction. He didn’t even know where that behavior came from. All he knew was that it was a shameful thing to do. The meeting didn’t go well, and he took it out on you. He felt disgusting. Now all he can hear is the clanging of pots and pans along with the smell of a familiar dish.

His favorite meal.

It made his heart feel heavy. Here he is practically cursing at you and calling you ‘clingy’ while you’re in the kitchen cooking his favorite meal. You didn’t even have to, you could’ve made him order takeout for pulling a stunt like that. But you didn’t. And the fact that you didn’t, hurt him even more. Satoru stepped out of the shower and quickly put on some more comfortable clothes so he could go and apologize to you.

He walked out of your shared bedroom to only one plate by the table with food on it. He presumed it was his. But what he didn’t see was your plate. You both always ate together, “so why didn’t she place both plates on the table?” He thought to himself. He looked around to see where you had possibly gone. He turned to his left when he heard you sneeze. There you were, sitting on the balcony with a fluffy blanket over you, staring at the city before you.

He smiled softly as he admired you so snuggled up against the mini sofa. His eyes traveled to your face filled with sadness, you were sniffling as you wiped away excess tears. His smile dropped and it finally hit him as to why you didn’t set your plate at the table. He knew he had to make things right.

He made his way toward the sliding door, giving you an apologetic smile as he looked into your teary, red eyes. My poor baby.

“Hey, sweetheart,” He says softly and has a seat on the ottoman in front of you. “Hey,” Now it’s you who doesn’t greet him back with a pet name. He notices. “I looked on the table and noticed only one plate. Did you eat already?”

“Wasn’t hungry.” You mumbled. Satoru sighed quietly in response. He knew you didn’t want to eat with him. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” He started. “I’m so sorry for snapping at you and for calling you clingy. Today wasn’t the best day and for some stupid reason, I took that out on you. You didn’t deserve that, you were only just trying to help. It breaks my heart to see you this upset and have it be because of me. I'm so sorry my love.”

You took a deep breath before speaking. “I didn’t mean to annoy you,” Your bottom lip slightly quivering. He got up from the ottoman and sat down next to you. “Hey, no..baby,” He cooed as he scooped you up and placed you on his lap. “You could never annoy me, sweetheart. I love you so much and I never want you to think that I don’t.” He reassured as you softly cried in his chest. He then kissed your forehead and rubbed your back, repeating the phrases “I’m so sorry” and “I love you so much”.

Eventually, you calmed down and you both were just staring at the brightly lit city. “How’re ya feeling sweetheart? Feeling any better?” He tilted his head to the side to look at you, very comfortable in his lap. You nodded yes and he kissed you on your temple. “Would you like to eat dinner together?” You nodded in response. “Ok, good because I want us to eat dinner together.” He chuckled.

He knew that you were a bit sensitive, and it would take a few hours for your mood to change. So to make it up to you, he called off work and took you on a shopping spree the next day.

Suguru Geto

Suguru ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He knew he had to make things right, especially since you left everyone to run away with him too. Suguru put himself in your shoes for a second. You left your family and friends as well. He couldn’t imagine what you must be going through and it made his chest ache.

“Mr. Geto, where did Y/n go? We wanted to give her a present!” They ran up to him and Nanako opened her hands to show him a flower crown. “Do you think she’ll like it? She taught us how!” She softly asked. He looked at the gift they made and smiled softly. “Of course, she would love it.” he held his hand out for the gift. “It’s lovely, girls.” She giggled in response. “You should give it to her! We made it to cheer her up!”

“Cheer her up?” Suguru frowned. Did they hear your mini-argument? Did they see how you stormed off? He was confused. “Yeah! She seems a bit sad. When she took us to the mall today, she was super quiet.” Their response made him feel worse. “Let me talk to her.” He got up from his seat. Before he was able to walk back in, Mimiko tugged on his shirt. “Don’t forget our present!” She reminded him. “Of course, how could I forget?”

He knocked on the door to your shared bedroom and saw you wrapped up under the comforter. You back was facing the door so you didn’t see when he walked in. “Honey,” he softly said. “Can we talk?”

“So now you wanna talk? I thought I was bein’ clingy.” You scoffed and pulled the comforter over your head. You heard his footsteps get closer to where you were lying and felt a dip in the bed. “Y/n, I’m sorry angel. I’m just so frustrated with everything at the moment and I didn’t mean to say those things. It wasn’t my intention to yell at you, baby.” He said rubbing your thigh. You remained silent for a bit. “You know,” You removed the comforter from your face and sat up. “I left my family and friends too. We all did. I understand your frustration, but you aren’t the only one struggling, Sugu.”

“I know, I’m so sorry baby,” He pulled you into him and wiped your tears. “I couldn't be more glad that you came with me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You both sat in silence for a while.

“You make a great mother for the girls too. I see how they react to you. They love you so much.” He pointed out. “Really?” You sat up in amusement. “Of course! They even made you a gift,” He handed you the flower crown they made for you. “This is so sweet,” Tears began to well up in your eyes again. “They told me you taught them how to make it. You’re way better at this parenting think than I am. But I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.” You smiled in response. “You gotta make it up to me though. You know that right?”

“Of course I do. Anything for my favorite person.”

Toji Fushiguro

Toji has never yelled at you before so it made you jump a bit. Your legs feeling like jello as you walk to baby Megumi’s room to see what was the matter. You wiped your tears from your cheeks before greeting the tiny baby. “Hey ‘gumi, what’s the matter?” You cooed as you picked him up from his crib. “Aw, were you awoken by the noise? It’s okay, my love.” You held him and checked his diaper just in case.

“It’s been a while since you last ate. How ‘bout we give you a bottle hm?” You prepared his bottle and sat with him in the rocking chair. You tested the bottle on your hand before feeding him. A few seconds passed and you heard heavy footsteps walk to the door. “Y/n,” Toji called out, not wanting to startle Megumi anymore. “Toji.”

He sighed at your choice of response. He knew he really fucked up if you resulted to being petty and giving one sentence responses. “Baby-”

“I’m not doing this with you right now. Not in front of him.” You interrupted him, placing Megumi to lean against your chest and burp him. You both waited for him to swiftly fall back asleep before addressing the slight tension between you two.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I was just-“

“Really frustrated?” You cut him off. “Don’t act like that baby. You know I’m not good at this whole..apologizing thing.” He scratched the back of his neck.

You said nothing.

“C’mere little girl,” he opened his bear arms and like a magnet you attached yourself to his big frame.

“If I ever yell at you like that again, take my gun and shoot me.”

TAG LIST: @hikachipsz @dontxevenxask @dianexo-v @chilichopsticks @koko-1025 @stevenknightmarc @ladyaggaga @satoreo @queenmimis @constawrites @satorugirlie @bluechocolatemint @teenagedreamlandstudent @dvc4 @yanjunify @ressespearlz @nxxun-blog @yinyinyinyinyinyin @honoredalone @iheartlinds @lwyourx

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fastandcarlos · 10 months ago

Text

Papa Is The Best : ̗̀➛ Daniel Ricciardo

summary: pregnancy is pretty tough for you, but luckily for you you've got the best man in the world there to always help you out when you need him

The little things that you used to find so easy suddenly became the hardest jobs in the world. Whilst you loved the fact that you were growing your own little human, it sure came with its moments when you wanted to give it all up. Luckily for you, Daniel was right by your side, always on hand with his wide smile.

“I’ve got these,” he told you, nudging you gently out the way as you went to pick out the grocery bags from the boot of the car, refusing to let you pick them up.

“I can carry one, they’re not that heavy.”

“No,” Daniel simply smiled back at you, struggling to hold onto all of the bags, but doing it anyway, not even giving you the chance to try and take one of them from him.

It was all the little things that Daniel did that took you by surprise, although you always knew that he was bound to be the most amazing father, you never expected him to prove himself so early. He had done plenty of research, constantly had his eyes on you, he was on it with everything.

At times it felt like you barely even had a second to breathe with Daniel watching over you. Any little thing that needed doing, he was there, if a task even looked as if it might be too tricky for you with your bump, he wouldn’t even let you try it, he’d just step in straight away and be there.

“What are you looking for?” He asked as he noticed you on your tiptoes, trying to look up into the cupboard for your favourite mug.

Before you even had chance to respond Daniel was there, arm draped over your shoulders as he followed your gaze. “Just that mug there,” you told him, pointing to the blue one that hid at the back of the shelf.

Daniel hummed, rising with ease and swiping the mug from the cupboard. “Are you wanting a cup of tea?”

“I can make it myself.”

“Nonsense,” he scoffed, putting the plug down on the kettle, “you go, relax, grow our child, I’ll make the cup of tea for you.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

It was when you really started to suffer though that Daniel became your own little hero. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself huffing when you tried to stand up, or sighing because you couldn’t find the strength to turn yourself over in the middle of the night when your baby was unsettled.

“Oh no,” you muttered one afternoon, immediately capturing Daniel’s attention.

He rushed up from his seat and over to your side. “What? What is it?”

“It’s finally happened.”

Daniel looked to you with urgency and panic, trying his best to figure out what the problem was. Nothing seemed to be the matter, but he could never quite be sure with all the changes your body was going through.

“I’ve finally reached the stage in pregnancy when I can’t tie my own shoelaces anymore,” you cried out, throwing your head back in disbelief.

Daniel did the same as you, but his in relief, glad that it wasn’t something more serious. “You can’t scare me like that love, I thought you were about to go into labour or something.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

The moment when your bump really started to show that made Daniel’s heart swell however. He knew you were struggling for confidence as your stretch marks began to get more prominent, but he had never found himself more in love in his life. He laid back on the bed as you grabbed your cream to try and minimise the effects of the marks.

It hurt him to see you when you had those darker days, how you twirled around in the mirror and looked at the changes your body had gone through. Most of the time you knew how much of a beautiful thing it was, but there were those days sometimes when you weren’t quite so convinced. Today was one of those days, where you were frantic, desperate almost, to make sure that you took the best care of yourself.

His eyes watched intently as you squeezed some out into your hand, massaging it all over your bump to make sure you covered it all. You were just about to finish when Daniel’s tall figure appeared behind you, taking the cream from out of your hand.

“You missed a bit,” he told you, squeezing some into his own hand. He knelt down so that he could get underneath your bump, his fingers gently running along the bottom to cover the marks that you’d missed.

“How are you so attentive?” You chuckled, watching Daniel closely.

“Because I can’t get enough of you, especially whilst you’re pregnant.”

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

His favourite time of the day was after you had finished your routine however, the time when you’d tuck yourself into bed and feel Daniel snuggle up behind you. His hands would dance over the top of your bump in search of any sort of movement from your little one.

Every time there was a little kick or a wriggle, laughter would come from behind you. It was something that Daniel just couldn’t get used to, no matter how hard he tried. Each kick hit him with disbelief, still stunned that the small human that was making those movements was weeks away from meeting him, weeks away from making him a father.

There were no words spoken between you both at night, as Daniel knew just how tired you were. He didn’t need to say anything though, just having him hold you was enough, and for him, being able to cuddle up to you and your bump was an indescribable feeling that he’d never get used to.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

With just a handful of weeks remaining, Daniel withdrew himself from work for a while. After a couple of near misses between you and a few accidents, he decided that he couldn’t let you out of his sight any longer.

“Where are you going?” He asked every single time you stood up from the sofa, refusing to let you out of his sight.

“I’m going to the toilet, if that’s alright with you?”

“Maybe,” he jokingly replied, “are you sure you can get there without any help?”

“I reckon I might just be alright.”

Although Daniel let you go, he still muted the television and hovered by the door to the living room, listening out just in case. He much preferred to be safe than sorry, even if some people did think he was a little too overprotective of you.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

That protectiveness came to the forefront when Daniel noticed you hunched over in the kitchen one afternoon. He almost smiled as he saw you, not that you were in pain, but that his latest bit of research could finally be used. As quietly as he could, Daniel came up behind you and placed your hands underneath your bump, lifting it gently.

A sigh of relief came from you as soon as the weight of your bump disappeared, tilting your head back so that you rested against Daniel’s chest. It was the most comfortable you had felt in your eight months of pregnancy, unable to believe the difference that Daniel had made.

“Where did you learn to do that?” You whispered, your voice much brighter than Daniel had heard it in a while. “It’s heavenly.”

“I read about it on a website, they said that it makes you feel like you’re not carrying your bump for a while,” he smiled down at you, pressing a kiss against the top of your head.

A hum came from you, not wanting Daniel to ever move from the position that he was in. “I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate this right now Daniel.”

Seeing you so content was all that he ever wanted, at times during your pregnancy he felt pretty helpless, but right now he felt as if he was doing the best job in the world. The weight of it was nothing to Daniel, but he couldn’t imagine carrying it around all day like you did.

Your hands rested on top of your bump, keeping your eyes glancing up at Daniel. “I hope our baby knows that their papa is the best,” you whispered.

“He’s only the best because he’s got such an amazing woman whose about to be their mummy,” Daniel softly smiled in reply.

“I don’t say it enough, but thank you for everything you do for me. It turns out being pregnant is pretty tough.”

“You don’t ever have to thank me,” Daniel chuckled, “I love being here for you, sometimes I wish I could do more.”

“What you do now is perfect, you’re perfect.”

“I’m only perfect thanks to you my love.”

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

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jussstlovely · 3 months ago

Text

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

Hyung Line Bf! Enhypen members comfort you when you’re stressed.

Mostly fluff but some angst, WC: around 2k altogether

Warnings: kissing, hugging, and use of pet names instead of y/n

Disclaimer: NSFW accounts DNI, please

an: Just a little something I wrote. Right now I am writing headcannons more than full fics, so I will open my requests if you have something you want me to write, (please read my rules page before requesting). Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Heeseung 희승

It was a Friday night when he heard the keys opening the door. He popped up to the sound, a smile forming on his face, but quickly disappeared when he saw you with an upset expression and tears in your eyes. He immediately got up to hug you, holding you there for a few moments before he pulled away to look at you.

“Baby, what happened?” he asked with worry.

“I had a hard day”, you were trying to hold back your tears as you replied, he noticed.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Mm…no, not right now, at least”

He agreed and took your heavy bag off of your shoulder.

Once he left to take your bag to his room you completely broke down. Heeseung couldn’t hear your silent cries and you were thankful for that, the reason why you are like this is because of the workload that your teachers are giving you. This week was long so you were looking forward to its end, but of course, your teachers had to assign 3 exams on Monday and 2 projects that took at least a day to work on.

You didn’t notice when your boyfriend came back into the room, and you also didn’t notice that he was there comforting you by rubbing your back. You forced yourself to stop crying.

A moment of silence passed between you two before you got up trying to go to your room. Heeseung stopped you.

“Where are you going?” he asked in a soft voice.

“I’m sorry Hee but I need to start studying, I’ll be in my room” you replied quietly.

You were stopped by his hand gently grabbing your wrist.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asked. You shook your head. “Love you should eat, would you like me to make you some ramen?”

Your head popped up to that question and you nodded your head in reply.

He smiled, “Okay, come sit down here and I’ll make you your ramen”

You quietly moved to sit on the chair, admiring him as he made your ramen, his eyebrows furrowing sometimes to focus.

“Okay, here you go my love, eat up,” he says as he hands you the bowl filled with ramen.

The smell of the ramen was enough to make your stomach grumble in hunger and without hesitation, you took a bite.

In that process, Heeseung moved to sit next to you, staring at you with love in his eyes.

Some moments passed before you showed him your empty bowl, and he smiled in return. As he got up to rinse your bowl you quietly admitted what had been stressing you out. He heard it.

“Well, I promise that I’ll help you every step of the way, I’ll always be here. But honey you look tired, why don’t we take a nap first?

“Okay,” you said as you got up to hug him.

After a few minutes, you two moved to your guy’s room and flopped on the bed together.

As Heeseung pulled the covers up, you looked up at him with admiration.

“What?” he asked with a grin.

“Nothing, I’m just lucky to have you”

“I’m lucky to have you, honey”

“I love you”

“I love you too baby”

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡�� ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Jay 제이

When you get stressed, you tend to block out everyone from your life, just for a moment, until you feel ready to talk again. You've been doing that ever since you were young when the fights or the amount of homework was too much, but you finally stopped when you met Jay.

Jay can read you like an open book, he knows when you're tired, angry, or sad and he especially knows when you’re stressed.

So whenever you’re stressed now, instead of locking yourself up in your room, you go to him for comfort. He usually just cuddles with you or cooks you something, but today, he was busy working on a new song, you remember him telling you to not come in his room until he’s done working on the song but today has been such a hard and stressful day it had completely slipped your mind as you walked towards Jay’s room with tears coming down your face, you just wanted a hug from him.

Once you opened the door, he was surprised to see you there at first but that surprised look turned into a worried look as he saw you crying in front of him.

“Aww baby what happened?” he asked as he gestured to come closer to him.

“Can I have a hug?” you asked sniffling.

“Of course baby, come here”

You guys stayed in that hug for a few moments until he asked again.

“Ugh, I just feel so stressed right now, I have so many assignments to do, and one of my friends isn't talking to me and I don’t know what I did, I mean-“

“Baby,” he interrupts your rambling.

“Yeah?”

“It’s gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay I promise I will do everything that I can to make your stress go away,” he said as he wiped the tear from your cheek, you didn’t even notice that you were crying again.

“Thank you, Jay”

“Of course sweetheart”

“Do you want to hear what I’ve been working on?”

You replied with an enthusiastic nod which made him smile.

As he grabbed his guitar you went to sit on his bed, he faced the chair to you and started playing your favorite song.

‘Whispered something in your ear’

‘It was a perverted thing to say’

‘But I said it anyway’

‘Made you smile and look away’

While he was playing you couldn’t help but smile and tear up.

‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby’

As he sang that lyric he looked up at you with a smile on his face, this was exactly what you needed,

‘Nothing’s gonna take you from my side…’

Soon the song ended and as he moved to put his guitar down you rushed to hug him in your arms. Tears started pouring down your face again.

“Thank you, Jay, I needed that. You did such a good job”

“Thank you, baby, I love you”

“I love you too”

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Jake 제이크

You came home from a tough day at school and work, all you wanted to do was cuddle with your boyfriend, but when you came home, it was silent and the lights were off. You were sure Jake would tell you if he went out. You were about to call him until you heard him talking to his friends. Oh, he’s playing video games right now.

Taking off your shoes and dropping your bag on the chair you headed to your room until you saw him come out of his room, headset still on, carrying an empty but dirty plate.

“Oh, baby hi!” Jake said coming to hug you.

“Hi, Jake,” you said in his arms with a tired expression.

“What’s wrong? You okay?” he asked as he noticed the sad tone in your voice.

“Can I talk to you?” you asked with tears forming in your eyes. This made Jake start worrying about you, you wanted to talk? About what? About you guys? About your relationship?

“Uhm yeah okay, just give me a sec, I have to put these dishes in the sink”.

“Okay, I’ll be in your room”.

Once you were in his room, you went to sit on his bed, trying your hardest not to cry.

Once Jake came in, he closed the door and went to sit in front of you.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” That’s when you surprised him by wrapping your arms around him, crying on his shoulder.

“Woah, baby, what happened? Talk to me”. That’s when you finally told him about how poorly your day went, you told him every detail from how horrible your classes were to how the customers and employees treated you, even telling him how you were starving all day because you forgot to pack your snack and lunch.

“I’m so sorry baby, what can I do to help?”

“Mmm, I don’t know, just stay here with me?”

“Of course baby,” he said as he moved to lay down with you.

You two stayed in each other’s arms until he got a call from his friends, telling him to hop back on the game.

“Dude I’m with my girlfriend right now, she had a hard day,” he said on the phone. To which his friend apologized, and Jake went back to lay with you.

“It’s okay, you can go back to playing with your friends babe.”

“No no it’s okay, I’ll stay here with you”.

With that, he went back to holding you in his arms, until he got another call, this time on his PC.

“Oh my gosh!” he yelled as he got up abruptly, about to end the call until you told him again that he should go play with his friends.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded in reply. That’s when he had an idea.

“Do you want to sit with me while I play?” he asked from his chair.

“Hmm sure,” you said as you went towards him. You climbed on his lap and put your head on his shoulder as he answered the call with his friends.

As you were laying on his shoulder, listening to him talk to his friends, you started humming your favorite song at the moment, ‘Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby’. Jake must’ve heard you because he started singing the lyrics quietly while he was muted.

You looked up from his shoulder, “You know that song?”

“Yeah, I love Cigarettes After Sex”. You kissed him.

“Wha-What was that for?” Jake asked, slightly surprised by your boldness.

“Nothing, I just love you”

“Well, I love you too”. He said as he kissed you again.

Several kisses later, his friends started calling him, but he ended up leaving the call.

“Why’d you leave?” you asked, he looked down at you with a soft smile.

“Because I’d rather spend my time with you,” he said as he got up from his chair, taking your hand and leading you to his bed. You followed him.

Once you two got under the covers he turned off all the lights and said goodnight.

“I love you, Jake”

“I love you too baby”.

︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶ ୨♡୧ ︶︶︶ ⊹ ︶︶

Sunghoon 성훈

You and Sunghoon have been dating for 2 months now, and it’s been amazing, he’s so caring and loving and cute, ugh, he’s such a perfect boyfriend, so why are you arguing with him right now?

“No, Sunghoon, it’s the fact that you didn’t do the dishes when I asked you five times today”

“Okay, I’m sorry, I’ll do them right now,” Sunghoon said, walking towards the kitchen.

“No, no, that’s not the point!…do you know how stressful my week has been? School has been giving me hell, and after that, I have to go work and deal with crappy customers, and then I get home expecting a clean home, but then I see these dirty dishes piling in the sink, and I end up having to do them every. single. day ....all I want is to come home to a nice clean house, and I understand that you’re busy too, but I’ve asked you five times today. Is that too much to ask for?”

“I-I didn’t know that that’s how you’re feeling”

“Yeah, that is how I’m feeling,” you said as you grabbed your keys and headed towards the door.

“Wait, baby, where are you going?”

“I’m going to get some fresh air,” you said as you slammed the door shut.

It was now silent in the apartment, Sunghoon didn’t know whether to run after you, stay here and clean the dishes, or just lock himself in his room. You guys never fought, and the way you just reacted worried him, why couldn’t he just listen to you and do the dishes when you asked?

As you got into your car, you completely broke down, why are you feeling like this? Why did you yell at Sunghoon? He didn’t deserve that. You should apologize, but you’re not ready to talk to him right now, ugh, he probably wants to break up after that, it’s only been 2 months, and he’ll probably get over you easily, but you’re not ready to leave him, you love him. Oh my gosh, you love him.

Back at the apartment, Sunghoon was lying on his bed worrying about you when he heard the keys to the door open. He popped up, you’re back.

When you opened the door to your apartment, the first thing you noticed was the clean dishes, you smiled and started walking towards Sunghoons door.

There was a knock on his door, and he got up to open it, and he saw you, there was mascara smudged by your eyes, and you were frowning. You went to hug him immediately, and he hugged you back tighter.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon, I didn’t mean to yell at you. I've just been so stressed out lately, and I took it out on you, and I feel so guilty-“

“Shh, it’s okay, love. I’m sorry that you’re stressed, and don’t apologize it’s not your fault it was mine, I should’ve listened to you when you asked me,” he reassured you, leading you to sit on his bed.

“No, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me, just stay here with me, please”

He was surprised by your words, “Sweetie, why do you think I’ll leave you?”

“Oh, I don’t know I thought that after that fight, you wouldn’t want to put up with me-“

“No, no, of course not, babe, I’ll never break up with you.” He gently grabbed your chin, making you look up at him.

“Baby, I won’t ever leave you like that, okay? And please don’t feel guilty for getting mad at me when it was my fault.”

“Okay,” you said, leaning your head on his and looking into his eyes.

You two stared at each other for a few seconds before Sunghoon closed the gap between you both.

Sunghoon grabbed your waist to pull you closer, and you started threading your fingers in his hair, then you both pulled away, slightly out of breath.

He stared at you with loving eyes.

“I love you Y/n”

“I love you too, Sunghoon”

In those moments, you both hope that there will be many more days together and how lucky you are to have each other.

Hope you enjoyed it, if you did please like, comment or reblog! thank you 𓂃۶ৎ

#enhypen imagines #enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen fluff #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #enhypen headcanons #enhypen drabbles #enhypen scenarios #jussstlovely

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fluffylino · 1 year ago

Note

what are your thoughts on primal/chase w Minho? Cause I can't seem to get it to leave my head and you always have such great thoughts so I wanted to share this

Feel free to ignore this tho if if it's not your cup of tea or for any reason rly 💙

hi hi anon

this was really fun to write. honestly ive been wanting to write something like this with minho but never really got any good ideas. hope you like it!

warning- mainly cnc and minho is pretty mean. (but we love it)

-contains mature themes

the hallways seemed like they would never end. would you ever escape him? your legs hurt from how fast you were running.

you could hear him. his footsteps growing louder and louder as he moved in closer.

you looked around. searching for somewhere to hide. anywhere. your eyes scanned the place.

a dressing room. it was far but it was reachable if you ran. so you did it. huffing, your heart racing. you opened the door, it was dark. at any other time you'd be scared of how dark the room was.

but now.

now, you had to hide.

you carefully shut the door. hands moving about to find any switch. a light switched on and you were surprised to see how clean it actually was.

you turned your back to the door. looking down at your feet, only to see a shadow on the floor.

"there you are, kitty"

your heart jumped with a start. how did he get in so fast?

minho shut the door behind him, arms reaching over to shove you firmly against the wall. there was no way you could get away.

"l-let me go" you screamed, trying to move out of his iron grasp. he pushed your head against the wall. your cheek squished and you struggled to even move.

these were the times you realised just how strong he actually was. and if he wanted to he could do anything he liked.

"no s-stop stop i-it" you said, as you felt him lift your skirt up. it was your favourite skirt. not to thick yet not too short.

"shut it. stop fussing" he hissed out, tugging your panties down. his fingers inching down. you wriggled around.

"a-ahh h-hurts it hurts" you cried out as he shoved his fingers deep into you.

so deep you felt a tinge of discomfort. you weren't wet enough to take three of his digits.

you whined, unable to even speak.

"you know you want it. relax kitten."

he mumbled into your ear, pulling his fingers out. you shivered at the loss.

"be a good kitty and get on your fours"

you shook your head. never.

"n-no i don't w-want it"

he let out an exasperated sigh behind you. a noise of surprise leaving you when he manhandled you. forcing you to the ground.

he maneuvered you. keeping your head pressed on the white floor. your back arched and ass up. skirt pushed up to expose you completely. embarassment was what you felt.

minho used his knees to keep your legs apart. you couldn't help it.

your cunt throbbing for something more. something bigger. something wet.

whereas your mind was all over the place. everything was happening so fast you didn't know if you were ready.

no prep. but this is what you and him had discussed much ahead of time.

consensual non consent. he could fuck you whenever he felt like it. regardless of whether you wanted it. and that made you feel some type of way.

his personal playtoy. your body belonging to him. him having complete control over you. the control part is what you loved.

"you say you don't want me but look at you" he let out, you could hear him take his belt of with one hand. his zipper being pulled down.

"arching your back for me, your leaking so much kitten. anyone would think you're a bitch in heat, presenting yourself to me"

you felt your eyes water. desperation.

"i-..i-" you stuttered, his grip on your hair so strong, you couldn't even lift your head up. your face smushed down.

"when are you going to accept it..shut up and take it"

your mouth dropped open. a pained whine escaping you as he entered you.

fuck, he was so big. you'd never get used to his size. and now with no lube, your thighs trembled at the discomfort. a heavy weight.

"ah-h m-minho hurts..p-paining" you cried out, body shaking at how stretched out you were. you were at your max.

"oh does it?" he asked, voice going low and condescending.

"still hurts?" your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he moved his hips. burying himself even deeper. this time not stopping his movements.

"accept it, kitten. you want me to fuck you full. to breed you" minho said, voice cracking as you still tried to adjust to him.

you squirmed as he held your hips, pulling you back to meet his thrusts. choked out noises and whimpers leaving your parted lips.

"d-don't want your c-cum hnghh-"

your eyes shot open as he pulled out completely. you stayed extremely still. not knowing what was going to happen next. he mumbled an annoyed 'fine'.

"crawl." he said out lazily.

"come on im giving you a chance to walk away"

could you really believe him? you hesitated for a entire minute. unsure. until you rose to your elbows and slowly inched ahead.

your speed slowly increasing. that was till you were dragged back. his cock slipping back into your warm cunt with no effort.

"you really thought huh"

"your pussy is begging to be filled. your dripping onto the floor. so quit lying."

tears fell on the ground. everything felt so good. so real. so different.

"i'll make sure to pump you full of my cum until you can't take anymore. you take what im giving you"

his hips ramming into you. getting pushed forward with every animalistic thrust.

"n-no pull o-out...pull out p-please minho not in me" you cried out, shaking in his grasp. you wanted it. you wanted his cum.

"you cunt says otherwise. swallowing me fucking whole like its been starved"

he held you in place.

one particular hard thrust and you could feel him inside you. filling you up to the brim. your own cum mixing with his and leaking outside of your poor abused hole.

"ahhhh keep it all inside"

minho instructed, watching as you clenched. trying your best to keep all of him in. but you couldn't. sitting on his haunches watching how your pussy quivered at just how much had seeped out.

warm.

sticky.

your knees gave in and you fell completely on the floor. your breathing heavy.

minho shuffled around behind you. everything was beginning to set in. but minho was there. you knew he was going to take care of you.

"did so well for me, sweetheart"

1K notes · View notes

ripdragonbeans · 11 months ago

Text

You Win II // modern!Aemond x reader

Summary: You and Aemond have fallen in love, steady in a relationship built of trust and love. All that is challenged when Aemond takes a class led by Professor Rivers.

TW: indefinitely, manipulation, p in v, afab reader, violence, Aemond is an idiot

Part I • Epilogue

Empty. Completely empty.

Numb. You felt nothing

Cold. There was no warmth in your life anymore.

That's all you were when you left your - his - apartment. The towel that staunched the bleeding was drying up, becoming stiff. It's been hours since you left but you didn't have the energy to even pull it off your knuckle. That, and you wouldn't know what to do if it started bleeding again. Taking the train, you went to the one person who you knew would welcome you without a doubt.

Jace Velaryon.

You lied when you said you were going home. You didn't have a home to go to anymore because he was your home.

When you arrived at his apartment, you immediately started pounding on the door. Tears were streaming down your face again, new tears. They were hot against your skin and flowed freely.

Jace answered the door. “I don’t know who you are but I don’t need any - oh shit!”

You fell into Jace as soon as he opened the door and sobbed openly into his arms.

“Hey, what happened? Why isn’t Aemond with you?”

At the mention of his name you sobbed even harder. You balled your fists into Jace’s shirt, not wanting to let him go.

“Fuck, okay. Let’s get you inside. I’ll call Hel.”

As Jace led you into the apartment you tried to calm yourself but it was difficult, nearly impossible. All of the different visions Alys had planted in your head kept playing on one after the other. The more you looked into the past the more you could see the warning signs that something was up. The way he touched you, looked at you, the small things. How lately he would recoil from your touch, or look guilty when he said he loved you. It all added up and you hated that you couldn’t see it. Instead, you got hurt. You could’ve protected yourself, your heart, but instead you gave it to someone else.

You sat on the couch clutching your things. Well, all that you could carry out of his apartment. Fog was clouding your vision and your chest was heavy. All you wanted to do was fall in a deep sleep and never wake up again. You curled up around a pillow and buried your head in it. Hugging the pillow helped a bit but it wasn’t enough.

“Hel, something happened to her,” you heard Jace call Helaena from the kitchen. “She came to my apartment sobbing her eyes out and when I mentioned Aemond she cried even harder. I think… I think they broke up, Hel.” He paused so Helaena could respond. “No, I don’t know what happened but whatever it was was bad. Her hand is wrapped in a towel and there’s dried blood on it. Fuck, just come over, please? Okay, see you soon.”

Jace came out of the kitchen and sat next to you on the couch. “Hey, Hel is on her way. Want to tell me what’s going on or -”

You aggressively shook your head as you shut your eyes to keep even more tears from flowing out.

“Okay, we can wait for Hel.”

Jace wrapped you in a hug and you melted into him. You inhaled his cologne, a familiar smell, and it calmed you, even just a tiny bit. After a moment you pulled away from him.

“I punched a mirror,” you rasped. “I was feeling too much and I hated what I saw so I just. I -” you broke down in sobs again.

“As long as you’re safe and it wasn’t anyone else who physically hurt you, it’s okay.”

You nodded and let yourself sink into the couch. For a few minutes it was just you and Jace in a sad silence. He wanted to comfort you but didn’t know how to. You wanted to tell him everything that happened but you wanted to wait for Helaena so you wouldn’t have to relive it twice out loud. You’ve already re-lived it many times over in your head. Everything was so clear, so crisp and clear. In your mind’s eye Alys was giving you that evil smirk while her hand was on Aemond’s shoulder. The image wouldn’t leave your mind. She touched him like she owned him.

“No one physically hurt me but fuck, my heart hurts so much.” You leaned your head on Jace’s shoulder.

Jace nodded. You fell into a silence, a sad silence. The door unlocked.

“Hey, I'm here.” Helaena looked at you and your tear stained face. “Holy shit, what's happened to you?” She was quick to move to you and pull you into a hug.

With Helaena hugging you came a new wave of tears. While she was his sister, you were glad that she didn't remind you of him. You held on tight to her and tried to calm down your breathing.

“There we go, easy breaths,” she encouraged you.

When you finally caught your breath you glanced at both of your friends before putting your head down. “He cheated on me.”

Their eyes were wide with disbelief.

“No way,” Helaena whispered.

“I'm gonna fucking kill him,” Jace growled.

You let out a broken laugh. “Please don't kill him, Jace.”

“No, I'm serious. What was he thinking?”

“It was Professor Rivers.”

“Of course it was her.” Helaena’s eyes were hard. “I've heard so many things about her. I didn't think she'd go after Aemond.”

You scoffed. “Well she did and she was successful.” You lowered your head. “She said that he loved her,” your voice cracked on the last word.

“I don't believe that at all.”

“You should have seen him, Hel. He was fucking her! He looked so guilty that he was caught.”

“He fucked her?!”

“Yes!” You started sobbing again. “It was some kind of cruel plan the professor came up with. She requested me in her office while he was with her so I could see them.”

Jace and Helaena were silent.

“Okay, now that's messed up,” said Jace.

“I bet she gets off on breaking up couples,” Helaena said matter-of-factly.

Jace looked at Helaena. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Haven't you heard the rumors? She has a history of breaking up couples.”

“That's demented.”

As Jace and Helaena talked about how cruel Alys was to her students outside their academic life, all you could think about was him. You still refused to say his name out loud. Saying his name would be admitting that he was real. For once, you wished your relationship was fake, a figment of your imagination. If you could convince yourself it never happened then you never got hurt.

A delusional smile crossed your face. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. What are we even talking about? I don't know any Professor Rivers,” you laughed.

Helaena and Jace shared a concerned look.

“I've never heard of her.”

“Sweetie, she's a professor at your university. You know this very well,” Helaena said gently. “Are you okay?”

You started laughing maniacally. “Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be? And again, I don’t know any Professor Rivers. That name means nothing to me. Nothing.” You reached for Jace’s hand and squeezed it as tight as you could.

“Damn, you have a strong grip. Can you loosen up or let me go?” Jace tried to wiggle his hand out of yours.

“I have never given my heart to anyone. I have never been hurt. I am completely fine. My heart is whole and safe. I have never fallen in love. No one has shattered me. Nothing bad ever happened, I’m just having a bad dream or something. But I’m fine. Fine and happy. I'm happy.”

“Oh, my dear,” Helaena tugged your hand off of Jace’s and took it in hers instead. “You're not okay and that's okay. But it happened, you can't pretend it didn't happen. It's not healthy.”

Your smile dissipated as you cocked your head to the side. “Nothing happened, Helaena. I am fine. I've never dated anyone.” You shook your head. “Please, I don't want it to be real,” you whispered. Trembling, you pulled your hands away from Helaena and wrapped them around yourself. Rocking back and forth you began to mumble, “It didn't happen. I'm okay. It didn't happen.” Your eyes became unfocused until everything around you was blurry. You didn't even try to correct it.

“Let's go to the spare room. You can stay here as long as you need,” Jace said as he gathered your things.

“Come on, sweetie. Let's get you up,” Helaena tried to get you to stand but you sat rooted on the spot.

Tucking your chin in and wrapping your arms around you even tighter, you closed your eyes and refused to open them. “I'm fine right here.”

“Okay, you can stay here but Jace is going to take your things to the spare room.”

Jace left with your belongings and brought them to the bedroom, the place you'll be living in for the next unforeseeable days. Helaena stayed next to you, refusing for you to be left alone.

“Do you want me to stay the night? I don't want you to be alone.”

With eyes still shut you nodded your head. You agreed with her; you should not be left alone.

“Your room is set up.” Jace entered the living room. “Do you want to sleep there now or?”

“I think she's gonna sleep out here on the couch tonight, Jace.” Helaena turned to you. “Can you get up or do you want to stay here?”

“I can't move. My body won't let me,” you whispered.

“Yeah, she’ll sleep out here tonight, Jace. I'll sleep on the floor.”

“I have an air mattress, Hel. You're not gonna sleep on the floor.” Jace turned and left the room once again to get the air mattress and some extra pillows and a blanket.

“Lay down, sweetie. Close your eyes. You've had a rough day.”

Helaena’s voice calmed you. You did as she said and slowly unwound yourself and laid down on the couch. “Hel, I still love him. And I hate him for it.”

It was the last thing you said before falling into the sweet darkness of sleep.

Aemond was still sitting on the floor of your - his - bedroom. Clothes were strewn across the floor. His eye was red from crying; he hasn't stopped since you left. He went to the bathroom to clean up but stopped at the door. When he saw the shattered glass on the ground he whimpered. You did this. You did it because he caused you to feel so much pain that you needed to break something.

Fresh tears began pouring out. His heart was continually breaking. He tried to clean up the mess the best he could but it was hard to see with his one good eye blurry from the crying. Aemond had just picked up all the glass when his phone started ringing.

Without looking at who it was, he answered it, hoping it would be you.

“Princess, please, are you -”

“Princess? Well, that's a new name for me, baby,” the female voice said.

Anger rose inside of him. “How did you get my number, Professor Rivers?”

“‘Professor Rivers?’ Now, now, you know me better than that. In fact you know me extremely well.”

“You didn't answer my question.”

“Oh, no need to know.” He could hear her smile. “I just called to make sure you're okay. I know you're hurting but you know my arms are always open for you.”

“I'm done with you,” Aemond ground out.

“You say that but you know you'll come back to me. They always do.”

“You said you loved me.”

“Yes, and it's true. I love all my students.”

“You said I was the only one.”

“Yes, now that was a lie. Would you have chosen to be with me if you had known you were not the first?”

“I didn't choose you,” he spat out.

“That's not what I remember. If memory serves me correctly, I asked if you were sure you wanted this and you said yes.”

“You were straddling my lap with my cock in your hand!” Aemond’s heartbeat was racing, not at the memory, but at the anger towards this woman.

“And you still could’ve said no. But you didn't. Instead you said yes and the rest is history. And what a damn good history it was.”

“Delete this number and never come near me again.”

“I know you wish that could happen but you know better. I'll delete this number but I'll see you in class on Monday.” With a click the phone call ended.

Aemond let out a guttural scream and punched the already broken mirror. Once. Twice. Three times. Just like you. Tears streamed down his face as he stared at his bloody knuckle. It was another thing that reminded him of you. Opening and closing his hand, he let the blood run down. He stared at it, thinking of you and hoping you were okay.

He turned on the water and ran his hand under it then wrapped it up in some gauze. He wasn't rushing so he had time to actually look for some. Everything has slowed down for him.

After he cleaned up the rest of the glass he went to the couch in the living room. He sat there for a while but soon remembered the many times the two of you made love on it. Immediately getting up he paced, thinking of a place where he wouldn't be reminded of his sins.

“I'm not gonna hear the end of this,” he mumbled to himself. Not packing anything, he left the apartment and called an Uber for his brother, Aegon's, place.

When he got to Aegon’s front door he couldn't even bring himself to knock on the door. Instead he texted his brother to come and open the door.

“And what can I do for my little brother?” Aegon wore a grin.

Aemond took a deep breath. “I cheated on her, Aegon. I fucked up and I can't stand to be in our apartment.”

Aegon’s face dropped. “Shit, I wasn't expecting that. Get in here and tell me how you messed everything up.”

Aemond followed Aegon into the apartment and plopped himself on the couch. Without giving him a second glance, Aegon went to the fridge and grabbed two beers.

“Drink it,” he said as he handed him one. “If you're going to relive your mistakes you should have something to ease the pain.”

In one smooth motion, Aemond took it from Aegon, opened it, and began chugging it. He stopped halfway through the bottle.

“My professor seduced me,” he started off. “And I fucking fell for her. She has a history of getting with students and I thought I could never be one of them but I am, Aegon. I slept with my fucking professor and ruined the only true relationship I've ever had.”

Aegon ran a hand down his face. “Dude, that's bad. Like bad bad.”

“It was more than once, too,” Aemond admitted.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“I basically had a relationship with her. She'd tell me she loved me and I thought it was real even though I already had someone who loved me unconditionally. Fuck, she gave me her heart and I stomped on it the second I started talking to Professor Rivers.” Aemond put his face in his hands.

Aegon nodded his head. “Oh, her.”

“Do you know her?”

“Even I knew she was bad news. There's a reason other than my grades as to why I didn't take her class. She's hot though, I'll give you that.”

“That doesn't help, Aegon.”

Aegon shrugged. “Just saying,” he took a sip of his beer. “What are you gonna do to get her back?”

Aemond blinked. “‘Get her back?’ I don't deserve her!”

“Listen,” Aegon leaned forward. “I've seen you two together and I have never seen you so happy before. I don't know her well but it looked like she had eyes only for you. You gotta go back and get her. Or at least help her.”

“How can I help her when all I've done is cause her pain?” Aemond’s hands began to shake.

“Beg. Get on your knees. Anything to make her smile.”

“I think me dying would make her smile,” Aemond grumbled.

“There we go, that's it!” Aegon went over and clapped Aemond on the back. “While you try to regain your honor, I'm going to ruin that Professor Alys and her career.”

“No! Please don't do that!”

Aegon narrowed his eyes. “Don't tell me you actually have feelings for her.”

“She called me earlier. I don't know how but she got my number. She sounded so sure that I'd go back to her. But I don't! I mean, fuck, you can't. She'll know it was me somehow.”

“I’ll cover your ass, don't worry.” Aegon finished his beer. “Now, you can stay as long as you need to but I don't want you wallowing in self pity. It's annoying when you do that.”

“Thank you, brother.” Aemond went to clasp his arm but Aegon pulled him in for a hug.

“Go get her back.”

When you woke up the next day it took you a while to remember where you were. As you looked around the room, you saw Helaena on an air mattress. That was when it all came rushing back.

Aemond and Alys.

Punching the mirror.

Slapping Aemond.

Running away.

You hurriedly got up when you felt whatever was left in your stomach come up to the surface. Careful not to trip over Helaena, you made a beeline for the bathroom and emptied out your guts. It was the dry heaving that had you crying again. Between the retching and the memories, it all became too much again.

“Sweetie?” Came a sleepy voice. “Are you okay?”

You gagged on nothing in response.

“I'm coming in, hold up.”

The bathroom door creaked open and Helaena entered, hair messy from sleeping.

“Oh, my dear, you look horrible.”

You gave a dry laugh. “Thanks, Hel.” You gagged into the bowl again.

Helaena knelt by you and rubbed your back in soothing circles. “We’ll take it day by day. You can get through this, you're one of the strongest people I know.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, I feel so strong right now.” You hurled out nothing into the toilet bowl again. Your chest was beginning to hurt from all the heaving and still your heart was aching, too. “I don't know when this will stop,” you admitted. Sitting back on your haunches, you looked up at Helaena. “Do I forgive him? Do I ignore him? What do I do if he wants to be back in my life?”

“Then you'll have a decision to make. Open your heart once again to the guy who shattered and trust that he won't do it again, or close yourself off from him forever.”

Your chest tightened at the prospect. On one hand you never wanted to see him again, it'd be too painful. But on the other hand, life without him seemed impossible, lifeless. Yet he broke you and made you feel the way you feel now and that is unforgivable.

When you moved to get up Helaena offered her hand. Once you took it you gave her a thankful squeeze. You linked arms with her and walked to the kitchen where Jace was making breakfast.

“Waffle morning!” He called out. Jace sent you a bright smile.

You cracked the first genuine smile you've had since the break up. Jace always knew how to raise your spirit.

“I made your favorite waffles. There’s whipped cream and strawberries in the fridge if you want any.”

You noticed he wasn’t mentioning yesterday. That was fine for you; you needed a break. Over breakfast you laughed with your friends and briefly forgot about the last twenty four hours. It wasn’t until you brought up slapping him that you brought the topic to the day before.

“I will admit that I did slap him and it felt great. Do I regret it? I do. I’ve never wanted to hurt him but I didn’t know what to do. He kept trying to get closer to me and I didn’t want him near me.”

Helaena and Jace looked at you, stunned.

“You slapped him?” Helaena wanted clarification.

“I wasn’t thinking.” You shrugged.

“That’s better than me,” Jace chuckled. “Next time I see him I’m gonna deck the shit out of him.”

“He deserved that,” Helaena agreed.

“Please don't deck him, Jace. As upset as I am, I still don't want him hurt.”

“You don't want him to get hurt? Look at you! Aemond hurt you so much, punching him is the nicest thing I could do to him,” Jace said.

You flinched at the mention of his name. “Please don't say his name right now.”

“You can't even say his name!” Jace was getting aggravated. “I know you don't like this, but he hurt you and that's not okay. You're one of my best friends and I refuse to stand by and do nothing.”

“And I appreciate that so much, I really do,” you gave Jace a small smile. “But I still care about him, as stupid as that sounds.”

“It's not stupid, sweetie,” Helaena put a hand on your arm. “You love him - don't try to deny it.”

Looking down at your half eaten waffle you contemplated the complexity of your feelings. You still loved him, you knew that. But it hurt so much. You didn't want to love him, he didn't deserve your love. Still, your heart reached out to him, he hurt you, shattered you, but it also being away from him made your heart ache as well.

“I do. I still love him. I feel empty without him and I wish it would stop. I don't want to feel anything anymore.”

“Feeling this is okay, it means you're human.”

“Ugh,” you stuffed a bit of waffle in your mouth. “I don't want to be a human then.”

“Stop being so dramatic,” Jace elbowed you in the side.

“I can't help it,” you elbowed him back.

“See, you're already doing better,” Helaena said.

You took a breath. “Yeah, I am.” A weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“It will still hit you every now and then,” Helaean warned you.

“I know. But I have you guys to help me,” you clasped a hand from both of them. “And I'm forever grateful.” You sighed. “Ugh, I don’t want to go to class on Monday.”

“I mean,” Jace started, “you don’t have to.”

“You can always take a mental day and it seems like a good time to take one,” Helaena said.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. And -” You were cut off by the doorbell. “Did you guys tell anyone else to be here?”

“No, the only person I called was Hel,” Jace said. “I’ll go check on the door.”

The doorbell rang again.

A familiar sinking feeling came over you. “Gods, what if it’s him?”

Jace’s face hardened. “Then I’m going to punch him like I said I would.”

You turned to Helaena, face filled with panic. “I don’t want to see him again, not now. Please, I can’t do this!” Tears began to fill your eyes.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Helaena took your hand. “We’ll go back to the spare room. Jace will handle this.”

The doorbell rang a third time.

“Gods, he’s impatient,” Jace muttered.

“Go get the door before he starts knocking and trying to break it down,” Helaena ordered.

With your hand in her, Helaena guided you back to the spare room while Jace went to answer the door. Your heartbeat quickened as you heard him open it.

A familiar voice began to speak. “Please, I’m here for -”

You heard the sound of skin hitting skin.

“That’s for hurting my best friend,” you heard Jace say.

A deep sigh. “I deserved that.”

Silence. You imagined the two guys staring at each other. Well, Jace staring hard at him and the other one with his head down in shame.

“I just need to see her, make sure she’s okay.”

“Physically, she’s fine. Emotionally? I’ve never seen her so broken.”

“Fuck,” you almost didn’t hear him. “Can I at least talk to Hel? I saw her car.”

A pause. “Fine.”

Jace’s footsteps came closer and closer to the door. “Hel, he wants to talk to you. Think you can handle it?”

“Of course I can handle my little brother,” Helaena scoffed. “You stay right here.” She gave you one last hug before exiting the room.

“Hel, I really fucked up and -”

SLAP

You couldn’t help the small smile that graced your face.

“How dare you?” Helaena exclaimed. “How dare you hurt her then show up? You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. You’re weak, Aemond.”

You sucked in a breath at the mention of his name.

“I know I am.” You heard him sniffle. “I destroyed our relationship and now I’m asking for her forgiveness. I know she may never want to see me again, but I at least want to know that she’s healing.”

“Aemond, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. She’s not okay at all!” Helaena sighed. “I think you need to leave. She needs space and time before she can see you. Hell, she can’t even say your name. Whatever you did hurt her bad.”

“She - she won’t even say my name?”

“No. That’s how bad this is. So I suggest you go home.”

“...Can I at least see her?”

“No, Aemond. Now, go home.”

You heard the door beginning to close. “WAIT! I mean - he can see me.”

Helaena went to you and gripped your hand. “Sweetie, are you sure?”

“If he tries anything I’ll punch him again,” Jace said.

“It’s fine, guys. Really. I’ll need to face him at some point,” you shrugged. Wiping your eyes, you tried to make yourself look somewhat presentable, that you haven’t been a complete wreck. You walked to the door to face him. To face Aemond.

You weren’t sure what you were expecting when you looked at Aemond but it certainly wasn’t this. His hair was messy, eye was puffy and red, there was a mark where Jace punched him and Helaena slapped him. His eye was devoid of any happiness. Good.

“Princess, I -” he started.

“I thought I told you not to call me that,” you stopped him. “I’m not your princess, never was apparently.”

Something in Aemond’s face broke. “No, no, you know that’s not true.”

“Stop. Please,” you took a deep breath. “You broke me, Aemond,” your voice shook on his name. “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for what you’ve done. I gave you everything I had and you dropped it all for a professor. I can’t go through that again. Please don’t make me.” Tears slipped out. “Please, just go home.”

Aemond took in a shaky breath. “I’ll go. But know that I will do everything I can to prove to you that you are my one and only love.”

Jace coughed next to you. “Sure.”

Helaena went to the door. “It’s time for you to go, Aemond.”

Aemond nodded his head and turned around. When he got to his car you collapsed into Jace’s arms, full of fresh tears.

“He came back for me,” you choked out. “I don’t know if I want him.”

“You don’t need to take him back if you don’t want to,” Jace said as he held you tight.

“He’s right. Aemond is not entitled to you.” Helaena came back from the doorway. She made sure that Aemond actually left.

“Can I go back to sleep?” you mumbled against Jace.

“Of course, let’s get you in an actual bed this time, though.” Helaena gently peeled you off of Jace and led you to the spare room.

You fell on the bed with a plop and immediately you welcomed the soothing darkness of sleep.

Aemond stepped back into the apartment feeling broken. All he had to do was gather some of his things to take to Aegon’s house. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. Simply walking into the apartment, however, had his memories reeling.

“Aemond!” you called from the doorway. “I’m home!”

Aemond made sure you were turned around before picking you up from behind and twirling you. “How were classes, princess?” He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.

“Classes were meh. So nothing new, just normal.” You shrugged. “What about you?”

Aemond felt himself stiffen very briefly. She couldn’t know. He couldn’t tell her. It would only break her. No, he would have to break off everything with Alys. “Classes are fine, nothing new, just like yours.”

“And Professor Rivers?” you asked him. You knew she was a flirt and didn’t want her anywhere near Aemond.

“She’s nowhere near me.” A lie. “I sit in the back of the class.” Another lie.

“Hmmm okay.” There was something unsettling about his answer but you let it slide.

“I love you and only you, okay Princess? Never forget that.” He captured your lips in a kiss.

------

“Oh, fuck, harder, Aemond!” Alys was bent over her desk with her skirt hiked up.

Aemond pounded into her. He was torn in his mind. His body craved Alys but his heart and mind knew this would break his Princess if she ever found out.

“More, more!”

His fingers dug into Alys’ skin as he picked up the pace. His thrusts were becoming sloppy, he was near his peak.

“FUCK, AEMOND!” Alys squeezed Aemond’s cock, triggering his own release.

Aemond caught himself before he fell on top of Alys, not out of courtesy, but that he didn’t want to touch her anymore. He pulled out of her and fixed his pants. He didn’t look her in the eye anymore when he was with her. He simply looked at the ground.

“Aw, baby, are you okay?” Alys had fixed her skirt. She trailed a manicured hand up his chest and brought it up to cup his face.

Without thinking, Aemond leaned into her touch.

“Don’t worry, she’ll never find out.” She pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear. “You’ll always have a place with me. You don’t need her.”

At that, Aemond recoiled. “You’re wrong, I do need her.”

“If that’s true, then why are you with me?”

He couldn’t think of a reason.

“Exactly. You want me, and that’s okay.” Alys moved her other hand to cup him through his pants. He was already beginning to harden again. “Tsk, you already want to go again, babe?”

“No,” Aemond ground out. “I don’t.”

Alys ignored him as she kneeled down to the ground. “Oh, but your cock says otherwise.” She slowly unzipped his pants and freed his cock. “Would you like me to taste you?”

Aemond swore he said no but, “Yes.”

Aemond was crying as he was gathering his clothes. It hurt. Everything hurt. When he was in the bathroom all he could think about was you punching the mirror. When he was in the living room all he could think about was all the times you made love on the couch.

He fell to his knees and clutched his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Princess.” He curled up on the ground and held himself while he sobbed. He was broken. He knew he made terrible choices and now he had to live with them.

When he finally got up to leave the apartment, he found one of your favorite sweaters. He choked on another sob as he ran his fingers on it, imagining you and your smile while wearing it. Bringing it up to his nose, he inhaled the scent. Your scent. Putting it back on the hook, he adjusted the bags in his hands, and made his way back to the outside world.

“Why did you go to her?” Aegon groaned. “That was such a stupid move.”

“I had to see her,” Aemond murmured. “I had to make sure she was okay. That she wasn’t took hurt.”

“And how did that work out for you?”

Aemond looked up at his brother. “She’s in so much pain and I caused all of that.”

“Were you expecting anything different?”

“Not really.”

“Exactly. Man, you’re just punishing yourself by seeing her like that. Stop. You want to fix this? Then get off your ass and start fixing it. This means ending everything, and I mean everything, with Professor Rivers.”

Aemond nodded; he had to follow his brother’s advice if he were to get you back.

“Thank you for a constructive class this afternoon. I'll see you all on Wednesday.” Professor Rivers dismissed her students.

Aemond was quick to get up and gather his things but Professor Rivers was quicker.

“Aemond, I'd like to see you in my office, please.”

Something in Aemond's gut began to sink. His hands were soon clammy. He didn't want to do this, didn't want to face her, but he knew he had to. Taking a shaky breath, he followed Professor Rivers to her office.

He was sure she was swaying her hips more than usual, and even wore a smaller skirt. As they arrived at her office she looked around before sliding a hand along his chest and whispering in his ear. “Gods, I've missed you.” One hand moved to cup his crotch while she used her other hand to pulled him down in a kiss. Aemond wanted to lean into her, to kiss her, but he thought of you and pulled back.

“You said you needed to see me, Professor Rivers?” He tried to keep his face neutral.

“Ah, yes. Please, come in.” She opened the door.

As Aemond stepped in, he took a seat in front of her desk, like any other student would do. He heard the click of a lock but refused to turn around.

Alys ran a hand across his back then over his shoulder. She gripped him tight. “Why don't you turn around, baby? Or do you want me in your lap?” She sauntered around him and set herself on his thighs. “Oh, I can feel you. You're trying so hard but you know you could never resist me.” She pulled him in for a kiss.

Aemond let her kiss him. He did his best not to kiss back but he failed. Soon, he was gripping her waist and aggressively kissing her. Alys was right. He could never leave her. She ground herself on his cock, straining against his pants.

“Forget about her,” she said against his lips.

Immediately, reality hit Aemond and he reeled back and pushed her off. “No. It’s you I need to forget.”

Alys looked at him, eyes wide, panting with her hand on her chest. For a second she looked stunned but recovered quickly. “Aemond. She’s gone. You ruined her. It’s because of you that she left, not me.”

“No,” Aemond shook his head. “You tricked me, you used me somehow. Convinced that we could be together.”

“Oh, my dear,” she purred, “you made the choice to come to me. And you will always come to me, or in me. It’s wonderful both ways.” She stalked towards him and once again reached out.

“I love her more than I want to be with you.”

“That’s not what your body says.” Alys made a note of glancing at his crotch.

“I don’t care what my body says. It only wants a fuck, that’s all you’ll ever be to anyone.”

“Who says I want more? That’s all I want, all I ever needed out of you, was a good fuck. And damn, are you fucking good.”

Aemond ignored her. “Gods, you played me and I was an idiot to believe your lies.”

“Lies? Not all of them are lies. It’s not a lie that I love you, well part of you. Your cock is just so good.”

Aemond crossed the room to get away from her but she followed. “Fuck that. I never want to see you again, Professor Rivers.” He pushed her away again.

“Now, now, we don’t have to get into formalities.” She was looking worried. No other student has talked to her like this before, has actually pushed her back.

“We’re done. I’m done with you, with your lies, everything. Hell, I’ll even report you.”

Alys laughed. “Report me? And who will believe you?”

“You don’t know what exactly I’m capable of to get what I want.” There was a vengeful gleam in his eye. He turned to leave. “By the way, I’m transferring out of your class. I never want to see you or hear from you ever again.” And with that, Aemond stalked out of her office.

As soon as Aemond was out of her office, he went straight to the president. “Professor Strong, one of your staff members has been harassing students.”

Professor Larys Strong turned around. “Ah, yes. I think I know who you’re talking about. I’ve heard all the rumors.”

“Then why haven’t you done anything?” Aemond asked.

“Because they’re just that. Rumors. Unless you have proof?”

Aemond blanched. “Check the hallway cameras outside of Professor Rivers’ office. She cornered me there.”

Professor Strong hummed. “Cornered? Are you sure? I’ve heard whispers that you’ve been going to her willingly.”

“She shouldn’t be doing this! She’s taking advantage of her students!”

“Fine.” Professor Strong flourished a hand. “If there is footage of her, coercing you, and you are resisting, then fine. I will look into it.”

Aemond nodded his head, knowing it was the best answer he could get right now, and left for Aegon’s apartment.

“I did it!” Aemond burst into the living room breathing hard. “I ended everything and I reported her.”

“Great!” Aegon popped his head around the corner. “I keyed her car!”

“I - you - what?”

“Yeah, I keyed her car,” Aegon repeated. Aegon walked over to Aemond, completely serious. “I found her car in the campus parking lot and I keyed it. Specifically, I carved ‘fuck you.’”

“I guess I'll have to thank you for that one. Wish I could've been there myself but…” Aemond trailed off.

“You made the right choice, brother.”

About a month had passed and you felt…lighter. It was as though a weight had been taken off of your shoulder. You still felt the heaviness of the break up but it wasn't completely unbearable anymore.

You still hadn't gone back to the apartment; you still stayed with Jace. Sitting up and stretching, you looked out the window to see the sun rising. Staring out the window you thought of all that you had gone through the last month.

Aemond’s tried to contact you but every time your phone rang you let it go to voicemail. You'd be lying if you said you didn't listen to each and every message. It broke your heart to hear him but you had to stand your ground. He betrayed you in the worst way possible, he couldn’t be easily forgiven.

Every now and then you'd go through your social media profiles and look through the pictures of the two of you. Both of you were so happy, so in love, and it showed. But he broke it. It was a lie. Taking a shaky breath, you pushed the thought from your mind. Over the last week or so you've been training yourself not to say it was a lie. He did love you, at least at one point, but then he met Professor Rivers and he apparently fell out of love with you. Wrapping your arms around yourself you cried a bit for the first time in a few days. It was cathartic. There was a knock at the door and Helaena stepped in.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you doing?” She said softly.

A watery smile graced your face. “I'm doing okay, no improvement from the last few days. I've just been thinking.”

“I figured as much.” She sat down on the bed next to you. “You know, I do believe he loves you. He's been trying to get in touch, but I don't blame you for not answering him. I've seen my brother at his worst but whenever I saw you two together he looked the happiest I've ever seen.”

“‘Loves?’ I think you're looking for ‘loved.’ I don't think he loves me anymore.”

“Even with the constant phone calls and texts?”

“He just feels bad he was caught, I'm sure.” You rolled your eyes.

“Sweetie, I know you may not want to hear it, but I think he really might still love you.”

There was a sinking feeling in your gut. You wanted so badly to believe Helaena but letting Aemond in again would mean opening yourself up to more hurt.

“I don't know if I want to risk my heart again, Hel. And how do I know he's not gonna cheat on me again? What if Professor Rivers comes back?”

“You won't have to worry about her,” Jace said as he leaned on the door frame. “Apparently she's being investigated for sexually harassing students. That and it's against university policy to be involved with them, too.”

A smile played on your lips. “Wait, what?”

Jace shrugged. “Apparently someone finally stepped up to tell the president. There was footage of Professor Rivers hitting on a student outside of her office in the hallway.”

“Do you know who reported her?” Helaena was on the edge of her seat.

“Aemond.”

You sucked in a breath. “Aemond reported her?”

“Yeah, and apparently she tried to kiss him in the hallway and moved her hand over his, uh, crotch.”

Anger bubbled within you. As much as it hurt for him to have betrayed you, knowing Professor Rivers still wanted him even after he pushed her away made your blood boil.

“Gods I hate her. I hate what she did to Aemond, I hate what she did to me, I hate what she did to us,” you ground out.

“The investigation isn't complete. While Aemond's footage does show that she made unwanted advances, he still followed her into her office.

“Of course he did. He'll keep going back to her.”

It hurt, knowing he still followed her even after he said no. You had no doubt they still did things in her office.

“But,” Jace interjected, “there are a few others who have stepped up to say something. Apparently the guys Professor Rivers has been involved with include Jason Lannister and Cregan Stark. Just those two alone make a good case against her.”

“Maybe I should talk to him,” you murmured.

“I think you should, sweetie.” Helaena put a hand over yours and squeezed tight.

“...I think I will. It's not a promise we'll get back together but it's something.” You looked at your two best friends. “Thank you for everything, I love you guys so much.” Your eyes began to water and a few tears slipped out but they were thankful tears. Tears that were light.

When Jace and Helaena left your room you picked up your phone to find a new voicemail from Aemond. With shaking hands you brought the phone up to your eye and listened.

“I'm so sorry. I know I can't say it enough. I never loved her, I was thinking with my dick. I miss you. I miss you so much and I will do whatever it takes for you to at least look at me again. Everything I do, everything I see, reminds me of you. If I could turn back time and never enroll in her class I'd do it. I'm not even in it anymore, I dropped out of the class.” A break. “When I saw you that day, when you saw everything, I knew I had fucked up. I knew beforehand that I fucked up yet I kept making those decisions. I will never be able to erase the pain from your heart and I wish I could. Gods, I wish I could. I promise you that you are the love of my life, no one else.”

A fresh wave of tears rolled down your face. It's the same thing he's said over and over again but this time you could feel his desperation. You didn't know how long it would last until he would give up, so you took your chance and called him back. The phone rang once.

“Aemond,” you wanted to be the first one to talk. “I - I think I'm ready to see you.”

“Princess! Gods, you called me back.” You could hear his voice crack.

“Please don't call me that,” you whispered. Being called his princess made your heart ache.

“I'm sorry, I won't do that again.”

You smiled a sad smile. “Let's meet at the apartment, okay? Neutral ground.”

“You want to see me?”

“I think I'm ready now. I'll see you around noon?”

“Yeah, noon works. I'll see you then.”

And with a click of the button the line was dead.

Walking out of the spare room and into the living room, you found Helaena and Jace lounging on the couch.

“I'm going to meet him later today at the apartment,” you announced.

“You are?” Exclaimed Jace. “If he tries anything I swear I'm gonna -”

Helaena interrupted him, “I don't think Aemond is going to try anything. He's too afraid of hurting her even more.”

Jace turned to you. “Are you sure about this?”

You nodded. “As sure as I'll ever be. But I can't keep avoiding him forever, either.”

“I'm so proud of you.” Helaena got up and wrapped you in a warm hug. “You can do this, sweetie.”

As you pulled up at the apartment complex, your chest began to tighten and your breaths became short.

“I'm right out here if you need me, remember? If you gotta get out just run and hop in.” Helaena told you.

You took one big breath before nodding your head and then stepping out of the car. There wasn't any sign of Aemond, at least not that you could tell. Walking up the stairs was a challenge; each step felt heavier and heavier. You had to do this, though. Face your fear and tackle him straight on. As you reached the door you noticed it wasn't locked.

“I can do this,” you whispered to yourself. Steeling your nerves, you knocked on the door.

Almost immediately the door opened. It was as if Aemond was sitting by the door waiting for you.

“You came,” he mumbled.

“I did.”

“Come in.” He held the door open for you to enter the threshold.

The apartment was a mess. It was unkempt, clothes were everywhere, you could even see the shattered glass that was never picked up after you punched the mirror. It was as though Aemond had no drive to keep the place tidy anymore. You turned your focus to him and saw that he was in the same state as the apartment; a mess. His hair was frizzy, loose ends were everywhere. His face looked like it had sunken in a bit. He seemed skinnier than before and it's only been a month. There was a dark circle under his eye that looks like it's been there a long time.

For a moment you and Aemond just stared at each other, not believing you were seeing one another.

“I got her fired. She's no longer on campus,” he blurted.

“Good, good.”

“I've missed you.”

You met him with silence. Staring at him, you could see how painful this was for him, not to touch you, not to comfort.

“Why? Why did you do it?” Your voice was barely louder than a whisper.

Aemond shuffled awkwardly. “I don't know.”

“That's not an answer.” A laugh left you. “Tell me why or I'm going to walk out. What did she have that I didn't? Was I not enough for you?” Tears began to flow down your cheeks.

“No, no,” he took a step towards you but you stepped back. “I don't know what I was thinking. She was seductive, I guess. I liked how she was taboo.”

“So I need to be a forbidden fruit to be with you?” You scoffed

“No, I know now that's not what I want.”

“You wanted her? If you wanted her then why didn't you break up with me when it started?”

“Because I didn't want to hurt you.”

“Hurt me? Aemond, you did so much more damage than what you could've done. You shattered me. I felt my heart break when I saw you fucking her,” you spat out the last few words.

“I know, I know,” he pleaded.

“Do you?”

He took a step back. “You're right, I don't know. I don't know how badly I've hurt you, I don't know the struggle you've been through.” He collapsed to his knees and bowed his head. “And I'm so fucking sorry. I wish I could take everything back.” His body began to shake with sobs.

“Aemond…” you knelt down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder. “I…I don't know if I could ever forgive you.”

He sobbed harder.

“But I know I still want you in my life. I love you, Aemond, and this past month has been terrible without you by my side.”

“You still love me? Even after all I've done?” He looked into your eyes. His one was puffy and red.

“I don't think I can ever not love you,” you have him a small smile. “I don't know if I could trust you again, either.”

“I understand.”

“But,” you started. “I'm willing to try again.” You placed a hand on his cheek and cupped his face. “It'll be a long time until I'll even be ready to hear you call me Princess again. But we can work on it together.”

Aemond looked at you with awe. “You want to try again?”

“Yes. I do. I can't imagine a world without you. I could barely stand a single month.” You chuckled and moved to intertwine your hand with his.

“I don't deserve you,” he whispered.

“No, you don't. But I miss you and I need you in my life, please, Aemond.”

“I'll be in your life if you want me to. I'll do anything for you.” His hand reached for your arm and he gave a small squeeze.

“It'll be a while until I can give my heart to you again. We'll take it slow.”

“I'll hold on to you tight.” He pressed his forehead against yours. “I'll do better this time.”

“One step at a time.”

#fics by bean #aemond x reader #modern aemond #modern aemond Targaryen #modern hotd #hotd fanfic #modern hotd au #modern au #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x you

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twistedteatime · 25 days ago

Text

Care

A/N: I feel like crap today. I'm better now than I was earlier. I wanted some period care with Bucky and decided to write it myself. I've got other fics to write, but this is the one that came of today. It's not in the Scorpio AU. It's just a standalone.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x !femReader

POV: 2nd no use of Y/N.

Summary: Bucky comes home and finds you in a state of pain because of your period and takes care of you.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Strangely enough I don't think there's any LANGUAGE to warn about for once. Fluff. Care. Talk of heavy period pain symptoms (because I'm not in the tribe of periods being unmentionable). Bucky and Alpine being cute. I can't think of anything else. (I'm sure there's more but I can't remember)

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Drabble List

AO3 Link: Care

*******

You were still home when Bucky walked into the house. His brows scrunched together as his blue eyes looked at you as you shuffled back through the doorway from the bathroom, Alpine following you with a worried meow.

Concern bubbled in his stomach at the sight of your pale face and tired, heavy-lidded eyes, sweat soaking through one of his T shirts you were wearing. Then you looked at him as he was looking at the pulled-out drawers, tears pooling in your eyes as he stepped in with a gentle sigh and locked the door as he always did.

He knew what this was. He hated it, but not for most reasons men hated it. Bucky hated what it did to you.

Not every month, but too often for his liking your period put you in a state like this. The last couple of months had been alright, but not this one.

You sniffled, “I can’t find the heating pad anywhere. I’m so hot, though. I’ve already changed my clothes twice. I’m hungry but the thought of food makes me wanna puke. I did puke. It feels like my uterus wants to implode. My head hurts…and I’m so tired!”

You were overwhelmed. It wasn’t the first time.

Pain radiated in your lower back, your lower abdomen felt like it was a hand mercilessly squeezing a tube, your thighs ached and you could feel the start of a migraine coming that was almost guaranteed if you started crying. If you cried you were done for but you were so tired it hurt to hold it together.

He didn’t hesitate another moment.

“Shh…I’m home now, sweetheart. It’s gonna be alright.” Bucky soothed, walking quickly over to you to scoop you up in his arms to carry you to the couch, “The heating pad is in the closet. I’ll go get it. Does it help to sit or help to walk?”

“Sit.”

“Okay. Don’t move. I’ve got you, okay?” he asked and you nodded, wiping your eyes, smiling a bit when he kissed your forehead.

You’d been worried when you first moved in together that he didn’t understand what you meant when you said your periods could get bad. It worried you how he’d react to them and how long it’d take before he got annoyed with them. The first time he saw what happened in its full “glory” Bucky had been intensely worried but had also sprung himself into action to do everything he could to alleviate it.

He had even asked Sarah for help and followed her advice to the letter. Including trying to get you to go to the doctor. You found it ironic with how much he hated going to them himself that he was willingly taking you to one.

The experience didn’t improve his opinion on them. Not that you didn’t warn him what would happen. You’d been through it enough.

Just take Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Pamprin, Midol, etc. Eye rolls. Ignored.

You were used to it. Bucky didn’t give up. He kept trying and whenever you had a bad month he was always there to take care of you. It helped more than the OTC meds and even though you found a doctor that listened, which you were slightly convinced their fear of your boyfriend played a large factor in, you still had bad months.

In a moment he was there with the large pad, plugging it in and handing you the controls to place it over your front, and he had another one of his shirts. You just raised your arms for him to pull the sweat soaked one off and let him put on the lighter dry one. He put an extra blanket on the couch behind you knowing once the hot flash was over you’d get cold. Bucky didn’t want you to feel cold just in case he wasn’t done before you did.

Next came a large glass of water with a wedge of lemon in it and three different flavors of candy canes or peppermints. He kept them in the house year-round once he figured out that one of them was usually likely to help with your nausea. The next part was the hard part.

“I know you don’t feel good, sweetie, but you really do need to eat. What have you tried?”

“Toast. It didn’t stay down…and I just can’t…think of something that tastes…good.” You answered and he nodded, thinking before carefully suggesting a few things that you usually would eat on days like this until you slowly nodded, “That…that’s not nauseating…”

He nodded and went back into the kitchen, Alpine hot on his tail. Occasionally you’d hear her meow at him and him respond to it. Soft, short, then a bit more accusatory.

“Have you been watching Kitchen Nightmares with her again?”

It made you chuckle sleepily. He brought out your food a few moments later, sitting with you to eat, putting on one of your favorite shows that you knew he secretly liked even if he said he didn’t. Still he mostly kept his eyes on you with soft, caring, and concerned ones.

The food stayed down. You’d love to say it always did when he made it, but sometimes it didn’t want to. You’d love to say the moment he got home that the pain subsided but you both knew that wasn’t how it worked. You’d love to say a lot of things you couldn’t, but you focused on what you could before the heaviness of your thoughts could pull you down too far.

Bucky was a cuddler on regular days but on these ones he took it to the next level whenever you needed it. Sure there were days you didn’t want to be touched, which he respected without question, but those days were far fewer than the ones where you just wanted to be held.

This was one of them and as soon as you were both done with your food and the dishes put away Bucky returned and pulled you into his lap, heating pad and all.

Alpine hopped up into your now vacant seat as she always did, curling herself up where you had been. Like usual she looked at you, then looked at Bucky, and then he nodded. Only then did she either lay her head down or turn it to look at the TV with the two of you.

It depended on what you were watching.

You were still sweating. Bucky noticed this and held out his left hand to you. The metal of it was cool, soothing, and even if it was a strange use for it, in some ways, to him, he was grateful for it. So were you while guiding it where you wanted, usually to your spine which sometimes required you to shift around a bit so he could run his hand up and down it. Sometimes it was just to your face. Sometimes, like today, you just slipped it under his shirt on you and around your side so he’d hold you closer.

He always did and you never failed to doze off, head against his shoulder within the next ten or so minutes. Usually less. Eyelids heavy, head foggy, you’d doze off even if it took you some time.

“Thank you.” You said softly, meekly, and his heart clenched as it always did.

To him it wasn’t something he needed to be thanked for, but, he supposed, he thanked you for things you didn’t think needed thanking for.

So he replied the same way you did, “You don’t need to thank me, but if it makes you feel better, you’re welcome.”

“Hmm.” You hummed, cuddling into him more with a small smile.

“Feelin’ better?”

“Yeah…sleepy…” you answered and he nodded, holding you close, “Sleepy and weird questions. Like: what did women with periods crave before chocolate was a thing?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart, I’m not that old.” He retorted lightly, lips curling up softly when you chuckled heavily, drifting off slowly, “Probly some other sweet thing. Like honey.”

“Mh…why?”

“I don’t know. Energy from the sugar?”

“Then why’d I crave chips?” you asked sleepily.

“They’re carbohydrates. Carbs are energy.”

“Then why’m I so sleepy?” you mumbled and he just cuddled you with a small smile.

“Hormones and other things. Get some sleep, baby, I’ve got you.” Bucky said and you smiled while dozing off, knowing you were safe and cared for.

Once he was sure you were asleep, and that Alpine wasn’t watching it, he turned your show off to put something else on. Something he knew you liked even if you teased him for it being old and kind of corny. He wasn’t really watching it; he was typing into his phone.

To your doctor.

*******

A/N: Someone might be in trouble. Slight, teensy weensy itty bitty kinda sorta soft dark Bucky. Maybe. Bascially this is what I'd want from Bucky today for myself so...call it self indulgent. It helped. I feel better now. Sort of. Enough to function on my other fics.

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#bucky barnes x reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #period care #i feel like the pic of the grumpy white kitten #james bucky barnes #drabble fic #oneshot

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slut4thebroken · 2 years ago

Text

Meant to Be

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jonathan Crane x innocent intern!reader

Summary | You and Dr. Crane can finally be together.

Warnings | NON CON sexual content, 18+, rape, kidnapping, drugged, forced relationship, crying, innocence kink, forced kissing, praise, anal, no lube, no prep, painful sex, housewife kink?, promises of forced breeding lol, a lil ooc, delulu!Crane <3

Words | 1.7 k

Notes | READ THE WARNINGS. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CHOOSE TO VIEW. This was based off of a Reddit audio lmao so enjoy :)

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Your eyes opened slowly, but when you realized you weren’t in your bed, you felt instantly more alert— rapidly looking around the room to try and remember where you were and how you got here. You still felt foggy and tired from waking up, but it was almost overshadowed by fear now.

You saw Dr. Crane across the room and your heavy, panicked breathing alerted him to your newfound consciousness. You suddenly realized what was happening and why you weren’t at your home. When he moved closer, you let out a panicked whimper, holding back tears as you tried to move, but being unable to because of the restraints on all four of your limbs.

“Shh, shh… Don’t cry, angel. You’re safe now.” He said softly and you let out a choked sob as you shook your head to disagree. “Yes… No one can hurt you here.” You shook your head more violently, but immediately stopped when you got dizzy. “Are you still a little fuzzy, darling? The drug should wear off very soon, don’t worry.”

“Drug?” You whimpered, voice barely audible.

“Yes. You had a little too much to drink at the staff party last night and I offered to take you home. You were so drunk that you didn’t even question the pill I gave you.” He laughed warmly, making your stomach drop. “I had a whole plan for our first time together, but when I saw you at the party… you just looked so beautiful, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Please let me go.” You whimpered and he shushed you.

“I know you like playing hard to get but we’re here now, there’s no need to continue acting coy.” When he sat down on the bed next to your hips, you writhed in the restraints, trying so hard to get some distance. “Look at you squirming…” he cooed, “I’m excited too, darling. I won’t make you wait much longer, I just want to savor this moment�� I’ve been planning this for so long.” He reached out to pet your hair and you flinched away from his touch, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to get yourself to wake up from this nightmare.

“I started planning it right after your interview, if you can believe it. The second I saw you, I knew you were the one.” He stroked your hair, ignoring the grimace on your face as you tried to stifle your cries. “But I bided my time, waiting for the right moment. I let you think you were making a real difference with that internship even though we both knew you weren’t. You just looked so adorable trying so hard to gain my praise and approval.”

“Dr. Crane..” You whimpered, desperate for him to snap out of whatever trance he was in. There’s no way that your boss— your mentor— has been thinking about you this way the whole time.

“I know, angel. I know you felt the same— I could see it. And now we’re finally together.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours, making you whine uncomfortably and try to turn your head away. He just grabbed your jaw to hold you still as he kissed you. After a torturously long moment, he pulled back so that his lips brushed yours, then whispered, “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

He kissed you again, this time licking at your tightly sealed lips. When you wouldn’t open your mouth, he tightened his grip on your jaw and forced it open, letting his tongue slip inside. His free hand cupped your covered breast, lightly squeezing, making your cheeks heat up from embarrassment at the unfamiliar act. He pulled your dress down enough to free your breast, then started rolling your nipple between his fingers, forcing a gasp out of you.

He kissed across your jaw, then down your neck and chest, and you couldn’t hold down the whimper when his hot mouth enveloped your nipple. He sucked and licked teasingly, occasionally biting, making you wince.

“So perfect.” He whispered, moving to your other breast to give it the same treatment. “You are so beautiful, darling.” His hands met your thighs and he started slowly snaking them up.

“No..” You whimpered, squirming away from his touch and letting out a soft sob as he leaned up again.

“Yes. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He said softly, clearly not understanding what you actually meant. When he started pushing your dress up your body, your crying intensified.

“Please, I— I’m a… Please don’t do this.” He shushed you and gently brushed your hair back.

“I know you’re pure, angel. I have no intention of taking that from you right now.” You almost breathed a sigh of relief. “I can’t fuck you there— not yet.” The second the meaning of his words registered in your head, you started thrashing again, trying to get away, especially when he ripped your panties clean off your body. You were suddenly hit with the realization that this was actually happening— this was real.

“No! Please don’t!” You sobbed, kicking your legs as much as you could in the restraints.

“Be a good girl and I’ll prep you first.” You couldn’t help it though. You screamed and cried and fought until he lost his patience. “Fine. You want to act like a little brat? Then that’s how you’ll be treated.” He spat, quickly opening his pants and shoving them down enough to remove his cock.

“No!” You cried, trying to squirm away from him.

“Stop it.” He hissed. “I’m trying to be nice— What happened to my good girl, hm?”

“Please let me go.” You whimpered, letting out a choked sob when he settled between your legs. He used what little slack there was in the rope holding your ankles to bend your legs slightly, giving him better access. When he lined himself up with your entrance and added some pressure, you sobbed more intensely, begging him to just let you go.

The blunt head of his cock pushed harder against your hole and when it finally breached your opening, you let out a shrill scream, making him place a hand over your mouth.

“Oh fuck…” He groaned, closing his eyes as his mouth opened in a silent moan. “So fucking tight.” He didn’t stop until he was all the way in and your cries turned violent as your body quivered with pain and fear. “I know, baby, I’m so happy I could almost cry too. And you’re doing such a good job— taking me so well.” He slowly dragged his hips back until only the tip was inside, then pushed in just as slow, continuing that pace.

“Good fucking girl.” He moaned. “I know it hurts but I couldn’t possibly take your innocence from you— not until the time is right. That’s why I have to keep fucking your ass for a while.” You let out a strangled cry at the thought of this happening again and shook your head as much as you could with his hand on your mouth. “I know, but I have to wait, sweet girl. Once you’re ready, then I’ll fuck that little pussy— put a baby in you.” Your eyes widened and you let out another sob in response. “I’m going to make you a mommy. Would you like that, angel?” He asked softly and you shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Maybe not yet. But soon enough you’ll grow to love your new life here— as my little housewife. You won’t have to worry about anything else other than keeping me happy and giving me babies.” He cooed, gently cupping your cheek with his free hand, making you flinch. His thrusts turned more forceful and rough, getting worked up by his own words. He rutted into you desperately, chasing his orgasm and ignoring your muffled sobs and pleas.

“God- I can’t wait to come home from work everyday, find you in the kitchen cooking our dinner, your belly nice and full.” He moved his free hand down to rub at your belly, feeling the phantom baby bump. “You’re gonna look so pretty all swollen with my baby.” He all but whined.

He suddenly released your mouth and before you could try and scream again, he was kissing you, forcing his tongue in your mouth as his hips humped into you desperately. You just laid there frozen as you cried, not able to make yourself do anything else. He pulled back, but his lips were still brushing yours.

“Don’t worry, angel. I’m still gonna fuck this needy little pussy.” His hand moved from your belly to lightly rub at your clit. “But maybe after you push out my kid, I’ll give your cunt a break until you’re all healed.”

“No,” You cried, not wanting anything he was promising.

“I know you’re not ready yet, sweetheart.” He uttered softly, making you whimper and shake your head. “But you don’t need to be nervous, you’re going to make a great mommy— god I'm so excited to see you like that.”

His thrusts turned frenzied now, rutting into you at a brutal pace. He moved his hand from your clit to your hole, gathering what little arousal you had, then bringing his hand back up to suck it off his fingers with a vulgar moan.

“Fuck— I can’t wait to taste you properly.” He said through a heavy breath. His sounds grew louder and his movements more forceful until he finally buried his head in the crook of your neck again with a low groan. His hips snapped into you once more before stilling all the way inside.

“Keep squeezing me like that..” He said through a breath. You whined uncomfortably and he shushed you, then cooed, “I know— it feels good for me too, baby.” He panted as he came down from his orgasm, then lifted his head to look at you.

“I love you so much, angel. I can’t believe I got so lucky.” He said softly, cupping your cheek. You kept crying and he wiped the tears as they fell. “I know. You’re too overwhelmed with emotions right now— I am too. But you’ll adjust soon, then we can just be happy together. We can finally be a family, like we were meant to be.”

Taglist (join here)

@pedrisgatorade @lunyyx @faebirdie @cillianscrybaby @vivvive @ceruleanrainblues @mrkdvidal1989 @brooklynscherry-z @ohmysatansstuff @d1lf-loverthinqs @butlersluvbot (didn’t let me tag ->) @miyababby @bluujaiwrites @n1ghtw1ngslver @idkdudsworld

#jonathan crane x reader smut #jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane #he is delulu #like genuinely so delulu

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slytherinshua · 1 year ago

Text

MY FAVOURITE

genre. fluff. hurt/comfort. warnings. jaehyun had a stressful day and cries a bit. pairing. jaehyun x fem!reader. wc. 857. request. requested by 🐧 anon: thoughts about jaehyun returning home to y/n after a stressful day and switching from leader mode to baby mode a/n. jaehyun being a crybaby is just so :( like i love him i adore him as a cry baby myself 🥹 like idk i just cry over everything any slightly stressful situation will have the tears forming its not even funny >:( jaehyun looks so squishable and tiny when he cries like 😭😭😭 he needs to be protected from the world.

“No. I told you we needed another 2 days for choreography lessons. The boys will be stressed if they have to learn it all by tomorrow. There’s still so many details we need to review.” Your boyfriend had barely walked through the door before he got a call from his manager and started talking. He sounded extremely stressed— not something you were usually used to from soft clingy Jaehyun you had around most days.

Whether it was charismatic performances on stage or detailed plans and decision-making offstage, your boyfriend excelled in both areas. But it was tiring. He could switch on and off as quickly and easily as he needed to, which was extremely helpful in keeping his stress at a low. Relaxing and recharging was just as important as working, and he knew that he needed a balance to keep going.

Today had been long and heavy on the work non-stop part of his life that Jaehyun both loved and hated. It was all worth it— always— but some days he really wished he didn’t have to leave so early in the morning and come home so late at night. Some days he wished he could just cuddle with you until he actually wanted to get up and that he was able to get back to you in time for dinner.

It was much past dinner time by now, already nearing midnight. Though your boyfriend’s voice sounded just like usual, professional, bright, and confident, you could tell with one glance at his face that he was so so tired. Eye bags and furrowed eyebrows framed his face, and he ran a stressed hand through his black hair, letting it stay and grip at the strands a bit too long for your liking.

The phone call ended quickly, thankfully. Jaehyun turned to you and you could just see him soften and relax completely. You closed the distance between you two so he didn’t have to, knowing your boyfriend and his love for hugs. He sunk into the hug immediately, holding you so so tightly. You frowned at how he was barely supporting his own body weight, so exhausted that he physically couldn’t do much other than cling to you.

You wanted to move to the couch in case he ended up toppling you both over with any extra weight he put in the hug. But you couldn’t do it without breaking the hug and Jaehyun looked like he would cry if that happened.

Not that he hadn’t started crying a little already. You could feel his body rack silently as he tugged at the back of your sweater, breathing in the scent of your shampoo with each uneven breath. You rubbed his back slowly up and down, soothingly waiting until he had calmed down enough to get ready for bed.

“It’s okay, let it all out, baby. I know it was an exhausting day. But you know I’m proud of you, right?” You murmured, pressing little kisses to his temple as you spoke. He started crying a little harder at your words, but you didn’t mind at all. You were glad you were someone he trusted enough to be completely vulnerable with. He didn’t hold back his tears, sobbing into your shoulder until the tears slowly stopped. You pulled back once you felt that he could hold himself up again with a clearer head.

“Not even the sky can be sunny all the time.” You smiled at his precious face, reaching out to swipe a thumb on his cheek to wipe away the tear stains. His nose was red and a little runny, and his eyes were a bit swollen. He looked so precious and small, and your heart broke just seeing him cry.

After a few more hugs and a couple of kisses for motivation, you got him to shower and get into his pyjamas to cuddle up with you and finally sleep. Jaehyun loved to be the little spoon more than anything, all wrapped up close to you, feeling so comfortable and secure like nothing could ever touch him. You played with his hair and pressed continuous kisses to his face— you loved to spoil your baby with as much affection as he deserved, and he loved to receive it after a long day.

“It’s my favourite thing…” He mumbled quietly, snuggling closer into your chest.

“What is?” You traced a finger around his nose and cheekbone, pressing a kiss to the spot right after.

“This. And you. You’re my favourite.” He replied, smiling a little, about half asleep already.

“Really?” You smiled fondly at him as he nodded. “I’m honoured to be your favourite. You’re my favourite too.”

“Really…?” He was so sleepy, and his words came out whispered, but you found it all the more endearing.

“Yes, really.”

With the last bit of energy Jaehyun had before sleep caught hold of him, he reached for your hand that was playing with his hair and brought it down to his lips, pressing a feather-light kiss to your fingers. Before you could respond or return the favour, he was already sound asleep in your hold.

↳ boynextdoor taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @rizzshimura,, @captivq,, @icyminghao,, @eternalgyu,, @metalchick529,,

@schmocolateschmchip,, @kpoprhia,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @cyberpunksunwoo,,

@kangtaehyunzzz,, @snowflakemoon3,, @lovialy,, @lecheugo,, @okshu,,

@wccycc,, @seunghancore

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knight-hiccup · 3 months ago

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𝐌𝐀𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐌 | Hiccup x Fem!Reader ₂

This is Chapter 2 to this Hiccup series -> Masterlist here. Previous Chapter : Next Chapter

Pairing: Hiccup x fem!reader Genre: romance, fantasy, suspense, drama, angst, dark, vioIence, friends to lovers, dark themes, heavy Viking lore, Norse mythology, canon divergence, slow burn Word count: 6.1k Warnings: This will have the lore of the films + shows but with much darker themes. Gore/blood, mentions of death, Norse mythology, some realistic dragon themes, more realistic scenarios, and mature themes starting at the point httyd 2 ark comes in, so, ofc NSFW. Any other warnings will be properly tagged upon story progression. A/N: Reader description not described besides clothing true to Viking/httyd fashion from time to time.

CHAPTER 2

The Night Fury's eyes had flared, green and fierce, at Hiccup—making the young boys triumphant grin falter, the knife trembling in his hand before lifting it high again determined. Until you see him pause—then begin cutting the ropes.

Confused—You leaned over, frozen, "Hiccup—" you started, but the words choked off as he scrambled back, blade flashing in a desperate arc. Ropes snapped, and the beast erupted—wings thrashing, a roar splitting through the woods.

It lunged, pinning him against the boulder, jaws inches from his face, and you staggered forward, trying to get over the ravine with struggle—heart in your throat—unable to see what was happening as it roared. Then, just as fast, it bolted—black scales swallowed by the trees, leaving only the echo of its flight. Hiccup, much to your relief got up, swayed, eyes rolling back, and crumpled to the dirt.

"Hiccup!" you cried, horror clawing at you as you lunged over the ravine's edge. Roots snagged your boots, rocks skittered underneath as you half-slid, half-fell down the slope, scraping your palms raw. He lay sprawled, half-awake, a groan slipping from his lips as you dropped beside him, pulling his head into your lap.

You checked if he was hurt, nothing. Your fingers brushed his hair from his face—damp with sweat, streaked with dirt—and you held him there, breath shaky, willing him to stir. His eyes fluttered open, hazy green colliding with yours, and for a beat, you just stared.

His head a heavy lump in your lap, your pulse thumping like a war drum in your ears. It was all very heroic, very tender, until it wasn't—silence stretched into a gaping maw of awkward, and you both hacked out coughs like you'd swallowed a flock of gnats.

Hiccup flailed upright, too fast, a gangly tangle of limbs that toppled him back into your lap like a newborn yak. You shot a hand to his shoulder to keep him upright, but he face-planted into your lap again anyway mumbling embarrassed.

"Easy, dragon-slayer—let's not make a habit of making my lap a pillow. . ." You blurted out. Hiccup dug his palms into the soil, lifting his head from your lap, his face blooming blood-red like a tomato kissed by Thor's hammer. "S-sorry, sorry, uh—gods, sorry," he mumbled, a string of apologies tripping over themselves as he scrambled back, dirt smudging his tunic.

You shook your head, unbothered, a grin tugging at your lips—honestly, you'd seen him in worse states—and grabbed his shoulders, giving him a firm shake to snap him out of it. He turned, wide-eyed, still flushed from forehead to neck.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" you asked, voice steady but laced with worry, eyes scanning him for scrapes or worse. "Are you okay? That dragon had you like a snack on a skewer." His face stayed red, a messy stew of embarrassment from the Toothless fiasco and your lap-turned-pillow, and he struggled, words fumbling like fish on dry land.

"I—I'm fine," he managed, nodding gently, though his voice wobbled like a cart missing a wheel. "Really, I'm. . .yeah."

But you saw it—the disappointment shadowing his eyes, dimming that spark he'd had when he'd crowed about bringing down the beast. His shoulders slumped, gaze dropping to the torn ropes scattered like broken promises across the ground.

You tilted your head, brushing dirt from your hands, the sting of scrapes sharpening your focus.

"What happened?" you pressed, softer now, curiosity tugging at you. "Why'd you decide to let it go?" The question hung there, heavy but gentle, the air thick.

Hiccup rubbed his neck, wincing as he glanced at the trees where the dragon had bolted. "I. . .I don't know," he muttered, voice low, like he was piecing it together himself. "It looked at me, and—I couldn't do it. It wasn't. . .it didn't feel right." He huffed a shaky laugh, half-hearted, and shot you a sidelong glance, still red-cheeked. "Guess I'm not the mighty Viking I thought I'd be, huh?"

You shook your head, nudging him with your fist. "Oh, I don't know—takes guts to stare down a Night Fury and live to blush about it." Your tease was light, but the worry lingered, threading through your words like smoke. He managed a grin, faint but real.

"There are other ways, Hiccup—" you started, voice soft but firm. But he cut you off, hauling himself up with a sigh that seemed to drag his whole frame down.

"Let's head back," he said, emotionless, his voice flat as the still water of Berk's harbor after a raid. It wasn't odd to catch this grim edge in his voice, a rare Hiccup-only-you-got-to-see. He brushed dirt from his tunic, avoiding your gaze, the faint grin snuffed out like a candle pinched too soon.

You opened your mouth to protest, then shut it, swallowing the words as you stood too, the ache in your heels flaring from the morning's trek. He started up the ravine's slope, steps heavy, and you followed, the silence between you thicker than the mist rolling off the cliffs.

The woods spat you both out hours ago, Berk's smoky skyline swallowing you back into its bustle. Hiccup had turned to you at the village edge, still pale, and pulled you into a quick, clumsy hug.

"Well! I guess that brings me back to this meridian of misery!" He jokes sarcastically unamused.

"Hey, thanks," he'd mumbled, voice rough, "for, y'know. . .coming with me and everything. Sorry I brought you along for nothing. I'm gonna crash—nap time." He'd flashed a tired grin, then shuffled off toward his house, leaving you with a nod and the echo of his flat.

Now, late afternoon draped the Great Hall in a warm haze, the clamor of Vikings clinking tankards and gnawing on bones a dull roar around you. You sat alone at a weathered table, head plunked on your folded arms, staring past a plate of food that might've tempted Thor himself—crusty bread, still steaming, its golden edge begging to be torn; a hunk of roasted chicken, juicy and flecked with herbs; and a smear of mashed turnips, glistening with butter, flanked by pickled herring that gleamed like silver coins.

Your stomach growled, but you ignored it, too sunk in thought to care. Hiccup's face—red, then ashen, then hollow—looped in your mind, his disappointment a weight you couldn't shake. That dragon had let him go, and he'd let it go, and now he was. . .what? Lost? You flexed your scraped palms, wincing, and sighed.

Marta's voice still jabbed at you, too—hours earlier, she'd cornered you the second you'd stumbled back into the kitchen, flour-dusted and late. "Gallivantin' off with that twig of a boy while I'm drownin' in breakfast orders!" she'd bellowed, ladle waving like a war axe.

"Lunch is a mess, and you're off chasin' dreams—ye'll be knead'n dough 'til midnight for this!" She hadn't been wrong—you'd paid in sweat, hauling sacks, shaping loaves, and dodging her wrath 'til your arms screamed louder than your heels had in the woods. Now, slumped here, exhaustion clung like wet wool, and worry for Hiccup gnawed deeper than hunger.

A shadow loomed over your table, sharp and deliberate, and you lifted your head to find Astrid standing there, axe slung over her shoulder, blonde braid swinging like a battle banner. Her gaze—fierce enough to scatter a flock of Terrible Terrors—softened a flicker as it landed on your untouched plate.

"You gonna eat that or just stare it into Valhalla?" she asked, voice dry but edged with something warmer, a ghost of the days she'd sneak small cakes you would save at her request from your oven and mutter thanks under her breath. You shrugged, too tired to muster a grin.

Before you could answer, a raucous laugh split the air—Snotlout, swaggering up with Ruffnut and Tuffnut trailing like a pair of gleeful tornadoes. "Oh, look, it's Hiccup's personal bread-maid!" he crowed, slamming a meaty hand on your table, rattling the chicken.

"Where's your twiggy hero now? Nappin' off another disaster? Heard he took down a tower and a dragon last night—too bad it flew off before he could trip over it!" Ruffnut snickered at Snotlouts' remarks, elbowing Tuffnut, where she pretends to shoot him down and he mimed a dramatic faint, sprawling across a bench with a wheeze.

"Probably tripped over his own trap and took out half the woods instead." Tuffnut added, cackling as he flopped upright, nearly knocking Fishlegs off the bench—who'd shuffled in behind them, clutching a tattered dragon manual in one hand, an entire chicken-on-a-stick in the other. Fishlegs squeaked, adjusting his grip.

"A-actually, if it was a Night Fury, statistically, it's got a wingspan of—uh—forty-eight feet, give or take, so. . .maybe just a tree or two?" His ramble faltered muttering about flight velocity. While everyone inwardly questioned what exactly he meant.

You rolled your eyes, shoving the plate an inch away. "He's fine, Snotlout—unlike your aim, which couldn't hit a sleeping sheep." The twins hooted, and Astrid's lips twitched, almost a smirk, but your heart wasn't in it. Hiccup's hollow look clung to you, and this lot's noise—Ruffnut's snort, Tuffnut's wheeze, Fishleg's stammering stats—only sharpened the headache. Frustration boiled over, a hot coal in your chest, and you shoved up from the table, the bench scraping loud enough to cut through their cackling. "Take it," you snapped, gesturing at the untouched plate—steaming bread, juicy chicken, buttery turnips, and all. "Stuff your faces." Snotlout whooped, lunging for the chicken as the twins dove in, squabbling over the bread like seagulls on a fish haul.

Astrid's gaze followed you, sharp and steady, a flicker of confusion crinkling her brow as you stormed past. She didn't call out—didn't worry too much, either—just leaned forward, snagging a piece of herring on her own plate and popping it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as the others tore into your leftovers with gleeful chaos. You didn't look back, boots thudding against the Hall's stone floor, the din fading as you pushed through the heavy doors into the late afternoon chill.

The village sprawled before you, smoke curling from chimneys, the tang of salt and soot sharp in your nose. Your home wasn't far—a squat, sturdy thing tucked near the forge—but your legs felt like lead, each step dragging the weight of the day: Hiccup's situation, Marta's crazy rant, the endless knead-and-haul that'd left you flour-streaked and bone-tired. You just wanted a bed to collapse in, to shake off the worry gnawing at you like a persistent yak, when a familiar bellow stopped you cold.

"Oi, lass!" Gobber waved you over from the forge's open maw, his hook-hand glinting in the fading light. You sighed, veering toward him, too weary to dodge. He grinned as you trudged up, peg leg tapping a rhythm on the dirt.

"Well, look at ye!—Held up against Marta's wrath, did we?" He chuckled, a booming sound that rattled your skull, then squinted, taking in your state. "Gods, ye're a walkin' bakery! Flour head to toe, bits o' dough in yer hair—did she dunk ye in the stew pot for good measure?"

You huffed, brushing at your tunic—useless, the white dust clung like a second skin, and a stray smear of turnip mash streaked your sleeve. "Felt like it," you muttered, managing a tired smile.

"She's still cursing me for breakfast. And lunch. I'll be kneading 'til I'm old as Mildew." Gobber laughed again, clapping you on the shoulder—hard enough to jolt you—and you winced, though his gruff warmth thawed the edges of your frustration.

"Ye're a tough one, lass—always have been," he said, leaning on the anvil, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Runnin' after Hiccup, facin' Marta's ladle—ye've got more spine than half this village."

You snorted, kicking a pebble, and he rambled on, waxing about the time you'd rigged a bellows to spew flour instead of air, nearly choking him in a white cloud. The memory tugged a real grin out of you, fleeting but there, until he straightened, tone shifting.

"Ah! Yes. By the way," he said, scratching his beard with his hook-hand, "while Stoick and the rest go off to find that dragon's nest, I've decided it's finally time to prepare ye to become a Viking. I'm signin' ye up for trainin'."

You blinked, bewildered, the words slamming into you like a rogue barrel down a hill.

"Training?" Your voice cracked, confusion piling onto the day's mess—Hiccup's dragon, Marta's wrath, and now this?

"Wait—Gobber, I can't! I've got Marta's kitchen, your forge—I'm too busy hauling sacks and trays all day for lectures to swing an axe!"

He waved you off your excuses with his chicken wing, like they were flies, grinning wider.

"Already squared it with Marta—told her to go easy on ye, by Stoick's orders no less. Future o' the village, future o' the clan—ye're not just a baker, lass, ye're one of us." He clapped your shoulder again, softer this time, but the weight of it sank deep.

"Ye' start tomorrow. No backin' out. Stoicks even havin' the same talk with Hiccup."

You stared, mouth half-open, flour-dusted and dumbfounded, as he turned back to the forge, whistling his happy song "Viking thru' n' thru'" like he hadn't just upended your world. The day's chaos spun in your head—Hiccup, dragons, training—and you trudged toward home, legs heavier than ever, wondering how you'd stumbled into all this mess.

The night had swallowed you whole after you'd staggered home, exhaustion dragging you under like a riptide. You'd collapsed into bed—limbs a sprawled tangle over the edges, one arm dangling, the other pinned beneath you, face buried into your wool pillow as you drooled unknowingly—your hair a wild snarl with strands stuck in your mouth. Feet and toes exposed as the blanket had risen up.

Sleep hit hard, a dreamless void, and you didn't stir as the clan's ships sailed out at dawn, Stoick at the helm, chasing the dragon's nest with the village's might. The world spun on without you, and you stayed blissfully dead to it—until the sun clawed its way up, slicing golden beams through your shutter slats right into your eyes as you finally turned.

You winced, nose wrinkling in annoyance, a groan rumbling up as the light stabbed at your lids. Then came the knocks—sharp, insistent thuds rattling your door.

"Go away," you mumbled, words a gibberish mush as you yanked the bearskin cover higher, burrowing into its musty warmth like a stubborn Gronckle in a cave. The knocking stopped, and you smirked sleepily, victorious—until the door slammed open with a bang that could've woken Thor himself.

"Rise and shine, lass!" Gobber's voice boomed, and before you could yelp, he ripped the bearskin off in one brutal yank, leaving you flailing in the chill. A bucket of water followed—icy, straight from the wells of Hel—and splashed over you like a tidal wave.

You shot up with a shout, arms wrapping tight around yourself, toes wiggling near freezing as you danced in place, teeth clattering like a sack of loose bolts. Water dripped from your hair, plastered to your face, and you blinked wildly, spinning to find Gobber grinning like a madman, empty bucket swinging in his hook-hand.

"You!" you sputtered, glaring as your breath puffed in the cold air, finally locking eyes with him. "What in Odin's name—"

"Ye're late!" he cut in, undeterred, peg leg tapping an impatient beat. "Let's get goin' afore the rest o' the trainees beat me there—and ye'd best not make me look the fool!" He tossed the bucket aside with a clatter, already half-turned to the door, like he hadn't just drowned you awake.

You shivered, still clutching yourself, the shock warring with a flicker of amusement—Gobber's wake-ups were the stuff of nightmares and sagas. "Late?" you croaked, voice hoarse from sleep and the dousing.

"I—I didn't even—" Your brain lagged, piecing together yesterday: Gobber's training bomb.

The clan was gone, and now this. You groaned again, louder, but he was already waving you out, bellowing about "no dawdlin' get ye' boots" as you stumbled for dry clothes, teeth still chattering.

You stood there, dripping and shivering, as Gobber's peg leg tapped out the door, his whistle fading into the morning clamor of Berk. "No dawdlin', lass!" echoed back shutting the door behind him, a taunt wrapped in a command, and you snapped into motion, teeth still rattling like a smith's loose gears.

Dry clothes—where were they? You lunged for a crumpled tunic on the bench, nearly tripping over your own sodden legs, and yanked it on, the fabric snagging on your wet arms. Trousers next, a frantic wrestle as you hopped, one leg in, the other flailing, your hair still plastered to your face like a drowned rat's nest.

"Gods, Gobber," you muttered, spitting strands from your mouth, "next time, just set me on fire—warmer way to wake up."

Boots—there, by the door, caked with yesterday's mud. You snatched them up, bolting outside barefoot, the icy ground biting your soles as you hopped after him, one boot halfway on, the other clutched to your chest.

"Wait—Gobber!" you yelped, teetering on one foot while jamming the other into leather, laces flapping like a dragon's loose scales.

He didn't slow, his lopsided gait eating up the path to the training arena, and you cursed under your breath, hopping faster—left, right, stumble—until both boots clung to your feet, sloppy but secure. Your lungs burned, your scraped palms stung as you waved them for balance, and Gobber's chuckle floated back, rich and maddening.

"Ye'll wake the village with that racket, lass—move it!"

The arena loomed ahead under the gloomy morning, a rough-hewn ring of stone, chains and timber. Its gates and chains wet from last night's cast still dripping here and there—no sign of Snotlout's swagger or the twins' chaos. More surprising—No sign of Astrid quite yet. You caught up, breathless, as Gobber swung the gate wide, his hook-hand glinting in the light.

"Good—beat the rest o' the rabble," he said, nodding approvingly. "Help me set this mess up afore they stumble in." He jerked his head toward a pile of gear—axes duller than a sheep's stare, shields dented like they'd lost a fight with a Monstrous Nightmare, and a tangle of ropes that smelled faintly of singed wool. You groaned, but hauled an axe anyway, its weight tugging at your sore arms, and shot him a look.

"Training, huh?" you panted, dragging a shield into place. "Thought I was busy enough dodging Marta's ladle and your lectures—now I've got to swing this?" You hefted the axe, nearly clipping your own shin, and Gobber snorted, tossing a rope coil your way.

"Aye, and ye'll thank me when ye're not dragon bait," he quipped, limping to the center to wrestle a wooden dummy upright. "If yer all gonna be future o' the clan, I'm not lettin' ye flail like a fish on a hook."

He grinned waving his own hooked-hand, and you rolled your eyes, but a flicker of pride sparked beneath the exhaustion—Gobber believed in you, flour-dust and all. The arena hummed with morning chill, the quiet before the storm of trainees, and you set to work.

The arena stood ready, a gritty testament to your morning's toil with Gobber—axes among other weapons lined up like a row of sullen teeth along the rack, their edges blunted by years of clumsy swings, glinting faintly in the pale sun that clawed its way over the arena walls.

Shields piled in a haphazard stack, their wooden faces pocked with gouges and scorch marks, some still bearing the faint stink of dragon spit; and ropes slung across the dirt, coiled like sleeping adders, their fibers frayed and dusted with ash from past fires.

You'd wrestled every piece into place, sweat streaking through the flour still caked on your skin from yesterday's kitchen penance, your arms quivering under the strain as you'd shoved a final target upright—a warped plank painted with a snarling dragon, its red jaws chipped to a sneer. Your hand brushed a rack of weapons—axes too heavy, spears too clumsy—and settled on a knife, slim and balanced, its grip worn smooth like the one you wielded in the kitchen. It felt right, an extension of your slicing skill, and you twirled it once, testing its weight as you waited.

Now you lingered at the arena's edge, boots scuffing the wet stone, breath fogging in the crisp air as you leaned against a splintered post, waiting. The silence buzzed with anticipation, heavy with the tang of rust and salt, and your scraped palms throbbed as you flexed them, Hiccup's tired grin from last night flickering in your mind like a stubborn ember.

It didn't last long. A roar of voices and stomping feet shattered the quiet, rolling in like a wave crashing on Berk's shores, and Gobber burst through the gate, his peg leg pounding the ground, hook-hand thrust high like a battle standard.

"Welcome! To dragon trainin'!" he bellowed, his voice a thunderclap that bounced off the stone walls, his beard bristling with a grin that promised chaos.

The trainees spilled in behind him—Astrid first, her stride a blade's edge, axe slung—ready beside her, her braid swinging like a pendulum of gold; she caught your eye, offering a brisk nod you returned before she marched on, her boots kicking up the wet puddles that glittered in what little sunlight.

Snotlout swaggered next, chest puffed out like a barrel ready to burst, his smirk a greasy smear of confidence, trailed by Ruffnut and Tuffnut, who barreled through the gate in a tangle of shoving elbows and wild hair, their laughter a grating duet.

Hiccup slipped in last, a lanky shadow at the rear, his green eyes darting nervously under tousled auburn bangs—he was here to your relief. You waved, a reassuring smile breaking through your fatigue, and he waved back, mirroring it with a flicker of warmth that steadied you both.

The twins wasted no time, their voices clashing like hammers on anvils.

"I hope I get some serious burns."

"I'm hoping for some mauling, like on my shoulder or lower back."

"Oh, I'm gettin' a scar today for sure—right across the gut, deep and gnarly!" Tuffnut declared, clawing the air with his fingers, while Ruffnut shoved him aside, getting them both crowing.

"Nah, mine's gonna be epic—eye patch material, full face shred!" Snotlout got involved.

"Yeah, it's only fun if you get a scar out if it. Why not," Astrid planted the bottom of her axe in the stone with a solid thunk, rolling her eyes as she cut in, voice dry as bone.

Hiccup, lingering near a shield pile, piped up, his monotone dripping sarcasm like sap from a split pine: "Yeah, no kidding, right? Pain. Love it."

He leaned back behind them, arms dangling like he despised being there, and you caught the glint of mock-defiance in his gaze—same old Hiccup, dodging barbs with a quip.

"Oh, great. Who let him in?" Tuffnut remarked.

But Gobber's bulk loomed over, his hammer-hand nudging your shoulder with a jolt that nearly sent the knife spinning.

"Enough chatter, ye lot—Let's get started!" he roared, stomping to the arena's heart, his voice slicing through the air like a cleaver through meat.

"Listen up! Learn quick, be sharp, and be ready—'cause whoever wins this trainin' program, lasts 'til the bitter end, gets the honor o' killin' a dragon in front o' the whole village! Full witness, full glory—so quit yer yammerin' and prepare!"

Snotlout pounced like a cat on a crippled bird to take the opportunity, his laugh a harsh bark that scraped your nerves. "Hiccup already killed a Night Fury, so does that disqualify him or . . .?" He pointed to Hiccup.

"Thought you'd be hiding under your bed, Hiccup—didn't the dragon tuck you in last night?" The twins hooted, Ruffnut miming a cradling motion—"Wittle Hiccup and his dragon nanny!"—while Tuffnut flopped backward, wheezing.

"Bet he cried when it flew off!"

Hiccup's jaw clenched, a tight line of frustration, and you flicked your boots toe out—quick, subtle, a baker's reflex honed from dodging Marta's ladle—catching Tuffnut's ankle mid-step. He didn't see it coming, flailing forward with a yelp, arms windmilling as he hit the wet ground in a graceless sprawl, his helmet skittering away like a startled crab.

"Can I transfer to the class with cool Vikings?" he whined, hauling himself up, brushing off clumps of wet pebbles and ash as he stomped deeper into the arena, rejoining Ruffnut with a theatrical huff that made her snort. You shot Hiccup a sidelong glance, catching the faintest twitch of his lips—gratitude, maybe, or just shared exasperation.

Gobber's voice boomed over the chaos, his peg leg thumping as he hobbled closer, eyeing Hiccup with a mix of pity and gruff cheer.

"Don't worry, lad—ye're small and weak! That'll make ye less of a target. They'll see ye as sick or insane and go after the more Viking-like teens instead!" He clapped his good hand against his shoulder, chuckling like he'd just handed out sage wisdom.

"That's not helping, Gobber," you snapped, voice cutting sharper than your blade, laced with a protective edge that surprised even you.

The old smith blinked, eyes widening a fraction, then shrugged, muttering something about "tough love" as he returned back to the task at hand. Hiccup glanced at you as you shrugged, his clenched jaw softening, a flicker of something—thanks, maybe—passing through his green eyes before the beast's roar yanked you both back to attention.

Gobber stomped to some other arena iron gates, their rust-streaked doors looming like the jagged teeth of some ancient beast, and thrust his hook-hand high, his voice rolling out like a storm over the cliffs.

"Behind these doors are just a few o' the many species ye'll learn to fight!" he declared, his eyes glinting with a mix of pride and menace as he turned to the trainees, pacing before the shuddering gates. The wood and metal rattled faintly, a low growl seeping through the cracks, and he launched into his litany, naming the dragons with the relish of a bard spinning a saga.

"The Deadly Nadder!" he barked, gesturing at a gate that twitched as if something sharp and quick lurked behind it.

"The Hideous Zippleback!"—a twin sound of hisses slithered out, two-toned and eerie, curling the air.

"The Monstrous Nightmare!"—a blast of heat pulsed through the cracks, creating a furnace like heat radiating from it.

"The Terrible Terror!"—a scrabble of claws, small but frantic, echoed like a swarm of furious rats.

Fishlegs, hovering at the group's edge, muttered under his breath, his chubby fingers clutching his dragon manual like a lifeline, eyes wide behind a mop of sweat-damp hair.

"Nadder—speed eight, armor six-teen. . .Zippleback—gas plus spark, plus eleven stealth times two. . ." His stats tumbled out in a nervous stream, a quiet chant that buzzed like a gnat in Gobber's ear.

The old smith's patience snapped, his peg leg grinding to a halt as he whirled, hook-hand jabbing the air. "Can ye stop that!" he shouted, voice a cannon shot that made Fishleg's flinch, the manual nearly slipping from his grip.

Gobber huffed, shaking his head, then pressed on, undeterred. ". . .And the Gronckle," he finished, slapping the lever beside the nearest gate with a clang that shivered through the stone, the promise of chaos glinting in his grin.

Fishlegs leaned toward you and Hiccup, his whisper a conspiratorial hiss, wide side-eyes darting like he'd just spilled a village secret.

"Jaw strength eight," he breathed, voice trembling with awe and dread, his breath puffing warm against your cheek.

You raised an eyebrow, knife still twirling idly in your hand, while Hiccup shifted beside you, his own weapon under his grip. Snotlout, pale beneath his bravado, jolted forward, axe wobbling in his meaty fists.

"Whoa! Whoa! Aren't ye gonna teach us first?!" he yelped, his voice cracking high enough to wake a hibernating bear, sweat beading on his brow as the Gronckle's growl rumbled louder behind the gate.

Gobber turned, slow and deliberate, his grin stretching wider, a gleam of mischief dancing in both his eyes. Oh no. . .

"I believe in learnin' on the job," he said, calm as if he'd just suggested a stroll to the mead hall, and yanked the lever down with a screech and clang of metal, his hook-hand flashing in the gleam.

The gate shuddered and burst open with a resounding crash, unleashing a guttural snarl that reverberated through the air, raw and primal. From the shadowed depths, the Gronckle's squat, formidable bulk surged into view, its rugged scales glinting ominously like wet stone under the flickering light. Its snarl rolled forth, deep and menacing, a promise of pain and chaos of the mayhem to start.

The sun hung low, a molten smear bleeding gold and amber across Berk's cliffs and cloud break, casting long shadows that stretched like claws over the jagged rocks where you and Hiccup slumped over a thin piece of wood separating you both from the wet grass—heaving from the day's ordeal.

Training had been a relentless beast—hours of dodging the Gronckle's snapping jaws, its molten spit sizzling inches from your boots, its roars rattling your skull until your ears rang with the echo. Axes had flown wild, shields had splintered, and you'd lost count of how many times you'd yanked Hiccup from the path of those boulder-like paws, your kitchen knife flashing uselessly against scales tougher than forge iron.

Now, sprawled on the cliff's edge, the sea crashing far below in a restless churn of white and gray, your limbs felt like sodden dough—heavy, bruised, and protesting every twitch. Sweat streaked through the flour still dusted on your tunic from yesterday, your hair a tangled snarl plastered to your neck, and your scraped palms throbbed as you flexed them, the salt air stinging the raw skin.

Hiccup sat beside you, just as wrecked—his tunic torn at the sleeve where the Gronckle's tooth had grazed him, his auburn hair a sweaty mess plastered to his forehead and every direction, his breaths puffing shallow and ragged.

You'd skipped breakfast and lunch, the training swallowing the day whole, so you'd pulled out his favorite—cheese-egg meat muffins again—wrapped in a cloth you'd stashed in your satchel. The bread was crusty, golden, but cold from your pre-dawn baking binge; the egg froze in an oozy rich, yolky tang, flecked with herbs; the meat, smoky and still tender, melded with sharp cheese that melted into every bite. You both could care less if it was cold.

You handed him one, your fingers brushing his, and he took it with a tired grin, exhaustedly sinking his teeth in with a groan that was half-starvation, half-bliss.

"Gods, you're a miracle," he mumbled through a mouthful, eyes closed, crumbs tumbling onto his lap as he leaned back on one elbow, the cliff's wet mossy edge soft under his sprawl—He didn't care.

You sighed tiredly, biting into your own, the flavors bursting against your tongue—a small victory after nearly becoming dragon fodder. The wind whipped past, sharp with brine and sea breeze, tugging at your clothes as you chewed in companionable quietness, the distant bleat of sheep and the rhythmic crash of waves filling the space between you.

"That Gronckle's a monster," you said finally, wiping your mouth with your sleeve, the memory of its jaws snapping an inch from your arm flashing hot in your mind.

"Thought it'd have me for lunch when Snotlout tripped into me—thanks for the shield shove, by the way." Hiccup chuckled, a low, dry sound, swallowing another bite.

"Yeah, well, I owed you one—couldn't let it chomp my muffin supplier." His grin flickered, playful but frayed, and you nudged him with your elbow, the ache in your side flaring at the motion.

"Gobber's 'learning on the job' nearly made us the job," he added, mimicking Gobber's gruff burr, and you snorted, the absurdity of it loosening the knot in your chest. He fell quiet, picking at the muffin's crust, his gaze drifting to the horizon where the sea met the sky in a hazy blur.

"That Night Fury," he said suddenly, voice dropping low, almost swallowed by the wind. "I've been thinking about it—him—all day. I'm going back out there. Tomorrow, maybe."

His fingers tightened around the bread, crumbs scattering to the rocks, and his green eyes flicked to you, bright with that restless spark you knew too well—half-thrill, half-dread, the same look he'd worn in the ravine.

You froze, muffin halfway to your mouth, the cheese's tang souring on your tongue as his words sank in. The sun dipped ever lower, its golden smear thinning into a fiery thread along the horizon, painting the cliff's edge in a warm glow that danced across Hiccup's freckled face.

You leaned up, facing him fully, your shadow stretching long over the mossy rocks as your words hung in the salty air—"Are you sure about that? What if this time he doesn't let you go? He might not even be around anymore."

The questions hung there, heavy as the sea air, your breath catching as you pictured that black-scaled beast pinning him again—or worse, not letting him walk away next time. The muffin sat forgotten in your hand, the wind tugging at your hair, and Hiccup stared back, his face a tangle of determination and doubt sparked a silent shift between you.

Hiccup shifted, propping himself higher on his elbow, crumbs tumbling from his lap as he met your gaze, his green eyes flickering with that restless spark—half-thrill, half-doubt.

"I don't know," he said, voice soft but steady, like he was testing the words aloud. "He—I mean, it—didn't feel. . .dangerous. Not like the Gronckle today, anyway." He huffed a small laugh, rubbing his neck where a bruise bloomed from training, his fingers smudging dirt into the mark.

"Maybe he's still out there, waiting to finish the job—or maybe I just got lucky." He glanced at the horizon, the sea's gray expanse swallowing the last of the light, and you frowned, shifting closer, the moss cool under your knees.

"Lucky's one thing," you said, voice edged with a mix of exasperation and care, "but going back out there alone? That's asking for a dragon to make you, its supper. You barely dodged those jaws today and yesterday—don't push it."

Your knife-calloused fingers flexed around the muffin, crumbling its edge, and you shot him a look, half-pleading, half-scolding, the ache for him to see reason warring with the ache that'd lived in you since you were kids. He tilted his head, studying you, and something softened in his face—a flicker of that secret he hadn't unraveled himself.

"Maybe I won't go alone," he mused, his grin creeping back, lopsided and teasing as he leaned a fraction closer, his voice dipping low. "Could use someone brave enough to stare down a Night Fury and bake me back to life after—y'know, my own personal hero."

His tone mocking what the others always say about you two. Eyes glinting a spark of flirt in the way they lingered on you, and heat rushed to your cheeks, blooming red beneath the flour and grime. You blinked, caught off guard, a flustered laugh bubbling up as you ducked your head the opposite way from him, shoving his muffin at him to hide the blush.

"Shut up," you muttered, shoving his shoulder—light, playful, but enough to jostle him—your smile sneaking out despite yourself.

"Eat your muffin, dragon-slayer, before I feed it to the gulls." He laughed, a real one this time, bright and unguarded, and took the muffin, his fingers brushing yours again, warm and deliberate. The wind carried the sound away, leaving a quiet sweetness between you, the cliff's edge glowing soft as the day faded, your worries tucked aside for just a moment in the dusk's gentle hold.

This is Chapter 2 to this Hiccup series -> Masterlist here. Previous Chapter : Next Chapter

Gifs/edits, dividers + template credit to #uservampyr my co-writer + beta reader ♡

#chapter 2 of maelstrom #hiccup haddock #httyd hiccup #hiccup and toothless #hiccup how to train your dragon #hiccup x reader #hiccup fanfic #httyd fanfic #httyd x reader #toothless #httyd #how to train your dragon #hiccup haddock x reader #dragons #race to the edge

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dustmusings · 7 months ago

Text

my kingdom for a kiss

Fives x F!Reader / Jedi!Reader

word count: 8.7k

description: yours and fives' friendship has never been easy for you to navigate, but after a particularly painful mission throws your faith into question, you need comforting more than ever

content warnings: NSFW 18+ angst, emotional hurt/comfort sorta, unestablished relationship, forbidden relationship, oral (f!recieving), pinv sex, talk of the jedi order, mutual pining, kinda dramatic admitting feelings, basically fives and reader being atrociously down bad for each other. the smut is kinda vague tbh

a/n: fives is a pathetic male yearner. that's my headcanon. hence why the title is a jeff buckley lyric lol. also i'm still not super confident writing smut so just don't perceive me okay? cool, thanks. this might be my favourite thing I've written???

masterlist | join my taglist | read on ao3

You had never been one to enjoy a battle as it was, but this one was really testing you.

A significant amount of your men had already been lost, and it was getting harder to push it from your mind. You stood your ground nonetheless, your lightsaber whirring in front of you, a blue shield that redirected the blaster bolts gunning for the men that still remained.

Your breath was heavy, ripping from you at a pace you could only beg the maker to allow you to keep. Your body was tired, but you kept your mind focused, tuned into your surroundings. You could only call on the force to aid you so much as you stayed resistant to you body’s pleas for rest, and so you pushed on, pursuing the enemy's left flank. A familiar shiver ran up your spine, and you whirled around, your eyes laying upon the unfolding scene that the force was warning you of.

“Captain, watch out!” you called, sprinting in his direction, praying that you could get to him before the incoming commando droid made its attack.

Right before you reached his position, another commando leapt at you, drawing your focus. You made short work of it, slicing the arm that reached towards you before cutting a clean line through their middle. However, when you turned around, the other commando had clearly marked you as the more immediate threat, and you received a strong blow to your nose.

You stumbled backwards from the impact, and though the pain wasn’t unbearable, tears filled your vision by way of simple biological response. The droid landed a forceful hit to your side before you realised that relying on your eyes was a hopeless pursuit. You instead placed your trust in the force, squeezing your eyes shut. You rolled forwards, the rough terrain biting into your robes, and turned back to face the droid, bringing the blade of your lightsaber up through the centre of it.

“Thank you General!” Rex shouted over the soundscape of the battle, “Are you alright?”

“I will be once—” you interrupted yourself with a sharp cough, “once we push these kriffing clankers—”

“General! Are you okay?”

Your vision was only just becoming clear again, but you didn’t need to see to recognise who was speaking to you.

“Yes Fives, I’m fine” you huffed as you blinked away your tears. Your eyes found the clone in question who looked visibly worried about you, his helmet clutched in his hand.

“Are you injured?” he asked hurriedly, ushering you behind some cover as a blaster bolt whizzed past, dangerously close to your cheek.

“No” you replied, the lie slipping from your tongue easily, “but this isn’t working. I think it might be time to start getting creative”

The corners of his lips lifted at that.

“Got it General” he gave you a small salute, slipping his helmet back over his head, “See you on the other side”

You watched him rush back into the battle, unable to contain the fond smile that broke out on your face. When you tried to re-join the battle yourself, the left side of your abdomen cried out, stopping you in your tracks. It didn’t feel like anything was broken, but the commando droid had dealt you a nasty blow, and it was certain to be a painful bruise at the very least.

You quieted your mind, bringing your focus back to what was important as you stepped out from the cover. The war, the battle, victory.

When did you begin to care about such things?

Stepping off the gunship and aboard the Resolute, you fought to keep a heaving sigh from escaping your lips. Your face was the picture of stoicism, your mouth set in a hard line for fear that your emotions could bubble up and pour out of you at any second. This mission had well and truly pushed you to the limit.

You were ushered into a mission debrief immediately, though you were far from engaged. Your frown was evident to everyone around you, a deep crease set in your brow that anyone else would have thought was a scowl. The clones of the 501st knew better. You lost a lot of good men today. It was hard not to see it as a personal failure when they were placed under your command, but either way, the loss weighed heavily on your mind.

You started making your way back to your quarters after the debrief, though quickly found yourself just ambling about the ship, little care for where you were going.

Your mind was a mess.

You couldn't help but feel disillusioned by the whole ordeal. Talking with the other generals about the battle you had just been in, about the clones you lost, as if it were a necessary price to pay. You believed the teachings of the jedi, you believed they meant to do good, but for too long you had been nothing more than a soldier, a pawn in a game with no end in sight, and a meaning which still eluded you.

You couldn't begin to imagine how the clones felt about it all. They were made for this purpose, unlike you, but that was certainly more horrifying to think about. You were closer with your men than some of the other generals, and it sometimes felt like they were the only people you could truly trust. They were loyal, almost to a fault, and you made sure they knew how you felt about their place in everything. It had been hard going trying to convince some of them that they were worth the risk of protecting on the battlefield.

Though you tried to instil in all of them a sense of self worth, there were still those you were closer to than others. You were most familiar with Rex, given that he was your Captain, and you had spent a lot of downtime with Tup and Dogma as well.

And then there was Fives.

Something about your relationship with Fives had always felt different. From the first meeting, it had felt like there was something pulling you towards him, something you didn't want to acknowledge. You were eternally fascinated by his mind, his benevolence, and he had an irresistible charm to him that manifested in everything he did. Internally, you fought tooth and nail to let your mind be still around him, tune out the feelings he gave you, but it never seemed to quite work.

You knew you shouldn't be harbouring such feelings as a jedi, but you figured that maybe it wouldn't be a problem at all if you just ignored them. Safe to say, it didn't work.

It was a fool's errand really, there was no point in indulging in how you felt about him, but you did anyway. He made it difficult not to. The way he looked at you set your insides alive in a way that just hadn't happened with anyone else before. You couldn't help but dwell on what it would be like to forget all about your vows to the jedi order, and satiate your apparent need for him.

Though, you could at least have him to thank for keeping you in check at the very least. He refused to call you by your name, your rank being the more preferable nickname, and he was courteous to an almost ridiculous level. He walked the line between dutiful trooper and good friend masterfully, and you had to applaud his professionalism.

You didn't fully realise where your feet had taken you until you were standing in the doorway of the barracks, the clones inside turning to look at you.

“General” Jesse grinned up at you, “Come and join the game!”

You smiled weakly at him as you stepped into the room, “not really in the mood Jesse”

“Come on” he dragged out the syllables in a mockingly whiny tone, “we all know you're the best at Sabacc”

You huffed a short laugh, “I still maintain that you're all just really bad”

“Well then feast your eyes” he spread his arms, knocking Hardcase from his seat in the process.

You shook your head with a chuckle as the pair began playfully arguing, casting a glance around the room. You realised even before you'd taken a proper look that the one you really wanted to talk to wasn't there, the usual pull not drawing your attention.

“Dogma” you placed your hand on his shoulder, the only clone that wasn't partaking in the game of Sabacc in some manner, “where are Tup and Fives?”

Dogma looked up at you, brows drawn together slightly as if in confusion. “Fives was injured, Tup took him to the medbay when we got back” he informed you, noting your growing stress immediately, “I'm sorry General, I thought you knew”

“Don't be sorry Dogma, thank you for letting me know”

You sped out of the barracks before you could even hear the clone's reply, walking with haste in the direction of the injured trooper.

You tried to keep your worries at bay, but the growing sense of dread was gnawing at you. From the back of your mind, a guilt started to creep in. It was hard enough losing the amount of men that you had today, but losing Fives too would be a pain you couldn't return from. You couldn't let that happen, not on your watch.

The door to the medbay swung open as you barged your way in, heads turning in your direction at the intrusion. Your eyes quickly found Fives’, sat on a cot at the back of the room and talking to Tup. You made a beeline for him instantly.

“What happened? Where are you hurt?” you asked, eyes scanning over his form as you drew your brows into a deep frown. His armour was still intact, only his helmet taken off and resting beside him.

“General…?” Fives addressed you with a worried look, and it was then that you realised how heavily you were breathing. You had clearly been walking faster than you realised.

“I'm sorry” you took a moment to catch your breath, a light blush dusting your cheeks, “Dogma said you were hurt, I—”

You then noticed the graze on his cheekbone. From the looks of it, it seemed that a blaster bolt had narrowly missed its mark, instead only scorching across the skin of his cheek.

“Is this it?” you asked, stepping forwards and gently tracing your fingers across the underside of the burn.

Fives didn't respond right away, and you felt his body go rigid under your touch.

“Um, it—” he cleared his throat, and you noticed his cheeks flush red, “yeah, Tup made me come in, it's just a scratch, nothing major”

“Good” you said softly, almost a whisper.

You gaze lingered on him as you took your hand away, noting the way his brows scrunched upwards, his eyes seemingly searching yours for some kind of explanation as to your suddenly affectionate actions.

Tup cleared his throat, snapping you both from your trance, and Fives shifted in his seat. It was only by his leg grazing yours that you realised that you'd wound up standing between his legs, and you stepped backwards quickly, trying to act unphased despite the blush you could feel creeping up the back of your neck.

“Did you need me for anything, General?” Fives spoke awkwardly, using his hands all too much for how much he was saying.

“No, yeah, just wanted to— I mean, yea— No” you stuttered out, and heard Tup fail to suppress a laugh.

You scolded yourself internally for being so affected by him, to the point where you were acting completely strange in front of your men. You really shouldn't give in so easily. You had done so much training in keeping your mind from seeking selfish desires, but those parts of your mind seemed to shut down around Fives.

It occurred to you then that you'd never so much as touched him before, and his alarmed reaction suddenly made a whole lot of sense. It also made you realise that he'd never touched you either, and you felt your face heat even more at your foolishness.

“I’ll just see you later” you mumbled out, realising you had just been staring at him for a moment too long.

Fives watched you leave the medical bay with a furrowed brow, though Tup, on the other hand, was smirking broadly.

In the dead of night, when everyone else was most likely in the deepest part of their sleep, your mind was still active, working overtime, and keeping you as awake as you had been during the battle. Everything you believed in was being thrown into question, it was hard not to. Then, at the centre of it all, was Fives. Fives, who was always on your mind. Fives, who always reminded you why you felt like this, just when you thought you'd gotten over it. Fives, who was respectful and affable and professional in a way that made you crazy.

You became distracted from your thoughts when you heard something outside your room. A shadow appeared beneath the door to the corridor, waited for a moment, and then disappeared again. It happened a few times before your curiosity overwhelmed you, and you quietly lifted yourself from your cot to walk over.

You let the person walk away once more, waiting to see what they would do, and this time it seemed like they wouldn't come back. Though, after a short while, the shadow returned, and you opened up your door.

Much to your surprise, your eyes met those of the man that plagued your thoughts, and he was clearly just as surprised that you had opened the door.

“General! I'm so sorry, I’ll jus—”

“Fives, relax”

You put your hand on his shoulder, and as he was not adorned by his usual armour, he looked as if your touch had burnt into him, wincing.

“What brings you here? Is everything alright?” you asked, noting his somewhat distressed visage.

“Everything is fine General, I'm sorry for disturbing your sleep” he spoke quickly, starting to walk away.

“Fives” you grabbed his arm to stop him leaving, “I wasn't asleep. Tell me what's troubling you”

There were more emotions than you could name flitting through his eyes, and it worried you. You had never seen him like this. His eyes flicked down your figure, no doubt noticing how you hadn't yet changed from your robes and armour, and you realised that your face was most likely still smeared with dirt.

“Would you like to come in?” you asked softly when he didn’t reply.

Fives looked startled, “I— I shouldn't”

You sighed, frowning a little, “I'm not really concerned with what you should or shouldn't do. If it would ease your mind, I'd like you to come in”

His distressed expression relented enough to see that your words had hit home for him. You stepped to the side, inviting him inside and he waited for another second before entering. You closed the door behind you and went back over to your cot, though Fives was still standing awkwardly by the door.

“Would you like to sit down?” you asked, patting your hand on the cot next to you.

Fives did as you said, as if it were a command, and you wished for just one moment that he would stop seeing you as nothing more than his commanding officer. He was wringing his hands as he took his seat, and you only became more worried.

“Now, tell me what's on your mind”

He looked up to you and paused, before looking away again, “I couldn't sleep”

You nodded, encouraging him to go on, “why not?”

“I—” his eyes found yours again, a vulnerability shining in them that you had only seen a few times, “I was worried about you General”

“About me?” your brow furrowed on instinct, “why?”

“I don't mean this rudely, but… you were acting kind of weird earlier, I only wanted to make sure you were alright”

Your frown softened at his words, a small smile appearing, and you placed a hand on his arm, “thank you Fives, that's very considerate, but you don't have to worry about me”

Fives gave you a funny sort of look, as if you'd just said something preposterous, “I'll always worry about you General, It's our job— my job to look after you”

You couldn't help but smile at how sweet he was, but it was tinged with a sadness of remembering the power imbalance between you. You had always tried to minimise it — you saw your life as the same value as the clones — but you knew that they didn't see it that way, and neither did anyone else.

You sighed, moving your gaze to the floor in front of you as you pulled your knees to your chest, “today was just… difficult”

Fives nodded in understanding, watching as your carefully constructed noble exterior began to crumble away.

“It's hard not to feel like everything is pointless, for nought. We lost so many men today, men that I—” you paused before you could get too choked up, “it's hard to tell people that their life has value when it's not treated as such”

Fives breathed out a long breath, “myself and my brothers are prepared to die for you, General, as much as you—”

“Well I don't want that” you almost snapped at him, your frown showing how you disapproved of the comment, “I didn't ask for this, for—”

You knew you shouldn't go on. Fives didn't need to know that you were questioning the order and your place in the war. It wasn't for him to bear the burden of.

“Today was tough” he agreed in a soft voice, and your eyes flicked to the now almost healed burn across his cheek, “it didn't feel like a win, at the end of the day”

You hummed in agreement. No victory could make up for the loss you felt.

“It makes me…angry, and I shouldn't be” you admitted quietly, and you could feel the weight of his gaze as you forced your eyes away from him.

You wanted to confide in Fives. He made it so easy, made you feel so safe. Safe enough to tell him your darkest secrets and deepest desires, but you knew no good could come of it. What point was there in telling a soldier under your command that you didn't believe in what he was specifically created to do?

“General” Fives called gently, if a little insistently, and you realised that you had completely zoned out.

“Sorry, what?” you looked up at him, blinking a few times and lifting your chin from where it rested on your knees.

“I asked why you were still wearing your armour… and your robes”

“Oh” you looked down at yourself, “I… I don't know. I was distracted, I suppose”

Fives sighed a little, giving you a somewhat unimpressed look.

“What?” you asked, almost a chuckle.

“I think I was right to be worried about you, General” his unimpressed expression invaded his words, and you let out a breathy laugh.

“I'm fine, Fives — really. I just need to… wash the day off, probably”

“Yeah, you certainly do” he mumbled out, a small smirk lifting his lips.

You scoffed at him as you stood from your cot, “you're lucky I like you Fives. Any other commanding officer would send you to the brig for telling them they stink”

He chuckled and ducked his head slightly, “I didn't just mean it like that. You've got…” he gestured to his cheek, and you caught your reflection as you turned on the refresher light, taking his meaning.

“Maker, I can't believe I looked this awful the whole time and you didn't say anything” you laughed quietly, taking in your certainly battle-worn appearance.

There was dirt crusted onto your face and into your hair, and the eyebags that weighed down the skin under your eyes were more prominent than you'd seen in a long time. The war was clearly stretching you thin, and you sighed at how dull and lifeless you looked overall.

“I'll have a shower” you gave Fives a weak smile as you crossed the room to your chest of drawers, pulling out a fresh set of sleep clothes.

Fives shifted uncomfortably on the bed, “uh— do you want me to leave?”

“Oh” you spoke a little disappointedly, “if you would like to. It is late after all, and I don’t wish it keep you from your sleep”

“No, I—” he cleared his throat, “I just— I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable, General”

You smiled at him warmly, your hand coming to rest on your hip, “you're not making me uncomfortable. In fact, it's nice to have you here”

His throat constricted as he swallowed, “thank you, General”

You rolled you eyes at the formality as you stepped back into the refresher once more.

“One of these days I'll get you to stop calling me that” you grumbled, and heard a huffed laugh coming from your room.

“Probably not”

You rested against the doorframe for a moment to look at the ARC trooper who was sat on your cot with a playful squint of your eyes, “that's not very dutiful of you, trooper”

“I didn't hear any orders” he shrugged, failing to suppress a smirk.

“Mm” you hummed thoughtfully, pushing off the doorframe, “don't tempt me”

You closed the door to the refresher and let out a long breath.

It felt oddly domestic, Fives sat on your cot as you threw teases his way before you went in the shower. Something inside you ached at the realisation that it would be something you'd never get to do under any normal circumstances. You longed to see a day when it would be acceptable in the eyes of those around you, but you knew you'd never see it. You felt hollow as you stepped into the shower.

You let the water wash over you, clearing dirt and grime with every droplet. Before long, you found yourself curled up and sat under stream of water, letting the weight of it hit your back as you cradled your head. Everything felt so crushing in that moment. The war, the day's losses, your duty as a jedi, a duty that you weren't sure you even understood anymore.

You didn’t realise how long you'd been sat there until you heard a gentle rapping against the door.

“General, are you okay?”

You sniffled, and only realised then that you had been crying. Perhaps Fives had heard you.

“I'm fine” you called weakly, “I'll be out soon”

You finished cleaning yourself mindlessly, fingers tangling in your hair as you worked the dirt out of it and letting the heat of the steam envelop you, almost making you feel feint. You welcomed it, a strange state of delirium that pushed your mind to a stillness. You slid on your clean clothes, a soft vest and shorts, beginning to dry your hair as you reopened the door to your room.

Fives still sat on the cot, and you gave him a gentle smile as you switched off the light. His eyes trailed the length of your body quickly before settling on your face, giving you a soft smile in return.

“Feel better?” he asked.

You nodded, reaching up to continue drying your hair with your towel, “yeah, I—”

“General!” Fives’ eyes went wide and he jumped up from his seat, rushing over to you.

You stepped back as he approached, confused by his sudden outburst. His hand retracted from where it reached out towards you and his eyes found yours once more, a look of something desperate in his eyes.

“I didn't know you were injured. Why didn't you get Kix to look at it?”

“What?” you frowned, looking down at your body.

You top had obviously rode up a little as you had stretched, and the bottom of a very dark, and very large, bruise poked out the bottom. You peeled up the top gently, conscious not to show too much, but equally revelling in how it just seemed to grow ever larger the more you revealed. Your hip and the left side of your ribcage were a mix of unpleasant purples, blues, and yellows.

“I— I forgot” you breathed out, remembering exactly when you would have sustained the injury. As expected, the commando droid had left a mark.

“You forgot?” Fives asked, incredulous.

You pulled your vest down, covering the offending mark.

“You need to get it checked out” Fives insisted.

“I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt” you replied, waving him off as you took your seat on your cot once more, against the headboard so that you faced the clone who stood across the room.

“General, please”

He retook his spot on the cot, giving his best pleading look. You didn't reply, and couldn't, for fear of the undignified squeak that would come out if you did. His eyes flicked between yours, searching for whatever it was that was going on behind them. You couldn't help the way your eyes began to water, and the distress on Fives’ face was clear as day.

“General” he spoke softly as he shifted closer to you, as if the rank was an affectionate nickname more than anything, “what's the matter?”

You fiddled with your fingers as you brought your knees to your chest once more, a comforting gesture as you showed far more vulnerability than you were usually comfortable with.

“Things aren't how they should be, Fives” you muttered, almost a whisper.

“What things?” he asked, innocently enough, though the way his body tensed told you how the words worried him.

“I— I'm really beginning to question some of the decisions of the council”

Fives looked alarmed, his voice betraying him further, “you're not going to leave, are you?”

You chuckled a little at his reaction, “probably not, no”

“Then…” he paused, not wishing to overstep any boundaries, “what decisions are you questioning?”

You sighed deeply, looking away in search of answers. What were you really questioning? Was it just the way that they conducted themselves in the war? Or did your suspicion run deeper? Was it the members of the council themselves? Was it what they believed? Or was it how the jedi were perceived by the galaxy?

“I don't know” you answered truthfully, “there are things I’ve always had qualms with — I’ve never understood some things such as… I feel that attachment is a natural part of the human condition, so I’ve always struggled with letting go, but… with the war, I worry that the purpose of the jedi is changing”

“Changing how?” Fives asked.

“The war means we have different priorities” you replied simply, turning you gaze back to him, “we’re no longer keepers of the peace. We can’t be, not while we’re leading a war”

Fives nodded and kept quiet for a moment. It was clear that his mind was working overtime, his eyes flitting across your face and around the room as his brows drew together and he subtly chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“You struggle with letting go?” he questioned in a quiet voice, his eyes locking with yours. There was something in his gaze, like he was searching for a specific answer.

You tried to quell your sudden nerves with a gulp, “yes”

“In what way?”

“Um, well I—” you spoke ever so eloquently, “I suppose I haven’t always succeeded in remaining… disconnected, from other people”

Fives couldn’t help but raise a questioning brow, and you almost scoffed.

“I— you— it’s hard” you grumbled, a frustrated huff escaping you, “you and the other clones are all under my command, how am I supposed to just not care about you?”

Fives shrugged, a small smile spreading across his lips, “some of the other Generals seem to manage”

“Whatever” you rolled your eyes a little, “I don’t want to be indifferent. You’re important to me, and I don’t care what the council would have to say about that”

Fives’ smile tightened almost imperceptibly at your words, but you still caught the way it became false as he turned to look at the ground.

“Is there… something else troubling you?” you asked, tilting your head so that you entered his field of view.

“It’s nothing, General” he flashed the hollow smile your way as he stood from the cot, “I should really be going—”

“Fives” you grabbed his wrist gently, stopping him from going any further, “what’s the matter?”

The way he looked down at you was almost pained, like he’d been wounded and was trying his best to hide the discomfort. Your stomach lurched at the sight, and a worried crease formed in your brow.

“There are some things I can’t say to you General” he spoke sadly, and the combination of his words with that tone made your heart ache.

“You can tell me anything, you know that” you replied, your voice more desperate than you had intended.

Fives just shook his head slowly, continuing to look at you with some form of anguish swimming in his amber eyes.

“Fives, talk to me. What is it?” you urged, standing up so that you were almost chest to chest with him.

“I want to tell you… everything” he paused, stepping away from you so your hand fell from his wrist, “but I can’t”

You shifted closer to him again, “why not?”

“It’s… inappropriate, frowned upon”

You dropped your head to the side, looking at him with a little suspicion, “are you in some kind of trouble?”

“In a way” he chuckled, though it was strained.

“Fives” you said his voice in a serious tone, akin to one you might use when commanding your men, “what is this about?”

He blew out a long breath, his eyes focused on anything but yours, “it’s… you”

“Me?” your eyebrows raised, “what about me?”

“Everything about you” he said softly in a wistful sigh.

“I don’t understand. Have I upset you?” you asked, trying to catch his gaze.

“No, no. You couldn’t”

You hesitated for a moment, then gently took his hands in yours, earning a sharp intake of breath, “please help me to understand”

“I—” his breath stuttered as he tried to find the right words to use, “you make me feel things that I’m not supposed to, General”

Your eyes widened slightly, your own breath quickening as his words sunk in.

“It’s hard not to. You…” he continued, tightening his grip on your hands and bringing them to his chest, “You're the epitome of grace, but also strength. You're… soft, gentle, and caring beyond measure, but also tough, fierce and ruthless to a degree I've never seen. You're level-headed, but foolish when it comes to that which you care about, and it's that display of humanity that—” he gulped, his gaze softening at just the idea of it, “it makes my heart ache for you. I know that I’m just a soldier to you but I— I'd give myself to you, over and over, even if every time it ended in tragedy, because there is no life I could live where you’re not a part of it, even if that’s just as my General. I'd do anything you asked, I'd die by your hand if you willed it, but I know that you'd never ask anything like that of me, and that's why I'm… in pain. Because I'd give everything to you, and you'd never take it”

It was hard to believe what you were hearing. You couldn't help the way tears gathered in your waterline at the affectionate words he was saying, observations about you that you had no idea he had been making. You had never realised that he cared so much, so deeply, in the same way that you cared for him. But the one thing that truly stumped you, was that Fives was genuinely convinced that you held no affections for him, that you just saw him in the same way you saw the rest of your men.

“Oh Fives” you spoke no louder than a whisper, releasing your hand from his to trail your fingers along his jaw and gently hold his face. His eyes fluttered shut, and an uneasy breath escaped him as he leaned into your palm with a pained expression. “You're right, I wouldn't ask anything of you”

The hurt was so clear in the depths of his eyes when they opened again. He tried to pull away but your other hand found his face, keeping his gaze locked on you.

“But… that doesn't mean that I don't want to”

His eyes widened at your words, but he stayed silent, as if waiting for you to continue. His gaze flicked to your lips momentarily, but it was clear that he wouldn't let himself indulge in his thoughts, that it had to be on your terms. You didn't know whether you agreed.

You took the lead nonetheless, guiding his head down to touch your forehead to his. Closing your eyes and focusing your energy on where your bodies connected, you reached out through the force. You tried to communicate to Fives all of the feelings that swirled within you, a cacophony of everything good and pure, manifested in a blending of colours and sensations, with a palette only holding the most pleasant colours. Deep blues waged war with vivid reds, a careful dance of remorse and desire, but atop all of it, a sense of calm.

You opened your eyes and met Fives’ gaze, a tenderness woven into the amber hues. That same calm feeling washed over you. You had always felt safe with him, and it went far beyond him being a more than capable soldier.

His mouth hung open fractionally, and you couldn't help but let your eyes wander across his face, taking in every freckle and scar en route to his lips. You tilted your face upwards tentatively, and Fives let out a shuddering breath. You could feel it on your lips, and it took everything within you not to shiver.

“Wait” his voice was quiet, but you heard the word clearly.

You pulled backwards, looking up at him expectantly, and watched his throat bob as he swallowed.

“If you start this, I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop”

You let a small smile lift the corners of your mouth, dropping your head to the side a little, “isn't that kind of the point?”

Fives let out a short exasperated laugh, “I mean it, General. Please… don't give me something without giving me everything, because I can't—”

“Fives” you called firmly, rubbing your thumb across his cheek to gain his full attention, “I need you to hear me, loud and clear”

His expression was still hesitant, but he nodded for you to continue.

“I do not say this lightly. You have made it very hard for me to follow the very ideals I am supposed to uphold from the moment you walked into my life. Though, it is not your fault, it’s mine. I could have made myself scarce, I could have tried to stay away, to let my feelings die out, but instead, I chose to nurture them. It would be easy to say that I don’t know why I did, to pretend it’s all some plot against me, but I do. It’s because…” you took a deep breath, “even though it will undoubtedly end in tragedy, I too cannot see my life without you in it, and I would give myself to you, I will give myself to you, because I am finally being honest with myself. I can finally admit that I care for you more than ideals that I would not chose for myself if my life was any different”

Fives’ eyes widened with each word you spoke, though ended up with a look of guilt plastered on his face.

“General, I can’t allow you abandon your beliefs, not for me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No Fives, it’s me that should apologise” you sighed, “I didn’t want to put you in this position, but I will not choose this for you. You have been afforded so little choice in your life, and I will not take away this one when it would have far more severe repercussions for you than for me”

Fives just stared at you with a plain expression, “you would have me? If I wanted that?”

“I want whatever you want”

“I want you” he replied breathlessly, bringing his forehead down to yours once more.

You smiled, “then you have me”

Fives immediately brought his lips to yours, all the hurriedness of the action melting away as he got his first taste of you. His mouth was heavy against yours, reaching inside you and stealing all of the breath from your lungs in a slow rhythm.

The way his lips tangled with yours was sending your mind into overdrive, though his hands remained firmly planted at his sides. Your own hands were on him; on his chest, in his hair, pulling him closer, and it was as if his brain was short circuiting. As if he'd spent so long trying not to touch you that he didn't even know what to do with himself.

“Fives” you mumbled against his lips, “you can touch me”

He breathed out heavily as he pulled away momentarily, “are you sure? I-”

“Please” you said desperately

Without need to be told again, he was groaning into your mouth, pulling you closer by your waist, fingers gripping onto your hips tightly and bringing you into his lap as he fell back on the cot. His hands began to map your body, covering every inch of skin he could find. For all that it felt like he had been restraining himself from touching you before, it seemed that now that he had got his hands on you, he wasn’t going to let go.

“I can’t believe this is happening” He breathed out as your lips travelled along his jaw.

You smirked at his aporetic tone, “And why's that?”

“I just didn't think—” his breath hitched as you found a sensitive spot behind his ear, “didn’t think you saw me this way”

“Hope you're not still thinking that” you mumbled against his skin.

“It's a little hard when you're—” you rolled your hips forwards, earning an uneasy groan from the man whose lap you were on, “—doing that”

“A little hard, huh?” you teased.

“General…” he growled in your ear and your lips curled into a satisfied smirk.

“What?” you spoke into his ear, in a voice as sweet and innocent as you could muster.

“You're playing a dangerous game”

“Am I?” You tangled your fingers in his hair, lightly pulling down as you found that spot behind his ear once more.

He let out a breathy groan, “fuck. General, you can’t—”

“Can’t what?” you interrupted, repeating the action.

“Alright, that’s it”

His hands gripped your hips tightly as he flipped the two of you over. He pressed his body into yours, taking your hands in his and intertwining your fingers as he pinned them to the cot. His kisses became even more heated, lips devouring yours and resting his weight into you. The intensity drew a small moan from the back of your throat, and Fives seized the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, drawing him even closer.

“Fuck” he hissed, “have you done this before?”

”Kind of”

He laughed, a breath huffed onto your lips, “kind of?”

“I might have—” your breath stuttered, his lips on your neck stopping your words, “—fooled around with someone a bit, before I took my vows”

Fives tutted, and you could feel him smirking against your skin as he dragged his lips across your pulse point, “and I thought you were a good jedi”

“Looks like any hopes of that have been lost now” you replied breathlessly, your head dropping against the mattress to allow him better access.

Fives chuckled, his thumbs rubbing circles against your palms, “looks that way”

His voice rumbled through your body, the reverberations sending waves of heat through your limbs. Your hand broke free from his hold as he danced his fingers across your thigh, and you took the opportunity to slide it underneath his blacks, feeling the warmth of his skin.

As if your actions were a command, Fives pulled away from you, just long enough to reach for his neck and slip off his top, never once taking his eyes from you. You ran your hands along his bare abdomen as he sat back, and he watched you take in his exposed form.

You were met by tanned skin, marked by the horrors of war; scars that wouldn't heal and surely cut deeper than the flesh. You outlined the more prominent marks with your first finger, before resting your hand against his chest, your gaze lifting to his face once more.

“Stars, Fives. You’re gorgeous”

He smirked a little, tracing his fingers over your waist, “nothing compared to you”

“I mean it, I— Maker, I’ve wanted you for so long”

You could see the way his eyes lit up at the comment, and he gripped onto your hip once more, “That’s high praise indeed, coming from you”

You rolled your eyes playfully, “Just let me compliment you”

His smirk dissolved into a beaming grin as he trapped your head between his forearms. “No” he said simply, and any protests died on your lips as he captured them between his own.

Kissing Fives, being intimate with him in this way, just felt right. It felt as if it had always been this way, as if it wasn't something new. The way he touched you like he knew your body like the back of his hand, the way his force signature melded with yours as if they were one, it all felt so familiar.

When he slid his hands under your vest, and you peeled it from your body, somewhere in your mind you thought you should be nervous. No one else had ever seen you so exposed, but Fives’ adoring gaze, the way he was drinking in your body, his featherlight touches as he ran his fingers up your sides, you couldn't help but feel safe.

“You’re so beautiful”

He said it like it was a sinful confession, his words dripping with such devotional adoration that you couldn't help the blush that arose across your cheeks. He kissed down the valley of your breasts, mumbling fragments of acclamatory phrases as if he didn't have the breath to finish them. Your blood heated at his words. It sounded as if he were drunk, whispering secrets he wouldn't otherwise confess to.

“So pretty for me” you heard him say against your skin, and it drew a forceful shudder from you.

His hands were all over you as he continued to kiss down your body. Kneading your hips, caressing your breasts, stroking along your thighs. Every touch sent desire coursing through your veins. He knelt at your feet as he met the edge of the bed, pulling you towards him.

“General, can I—”

“Are you seriously calling me that right now?” you looked down at him in disbelief. He was in between your legs, asking to take down your nightwear and still calling you by your rank.

He let out a short self deprecating laugh.

“What would you like me to call you?” he asked, playing with the hem of your sleep shorts.

“I do have a name, you know” you informed him.

“I do know that” he chuckled with a fond smile, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts, “is that what you’d prefer?”

You raised an eyebrow at him, coming to rest on your elbows, “you have another idea?”

“I have a few” he smirked, beginning to slowly pull down your shorts. “Beautiful, gorgeous, pretty…” he trailed off as he helped you detangle your legs from the nightwear.

You were now laid out completely bare to him and he had to take a deep breath, letting out a low whistle before he could start talking again.

“Then there’s always darling” he continued, pressing a kiss to your knee, his eyes finding yours again. “Sweetheart” he trailed kisses up your inner thigh and your breath became increasingly short, “or even… mesh'la, cyar'ika”

He placed his final kiss at the very top of your thighs, right beside where you ached for him the most, and the feeling of his hot breath against your core made your head drop back and your eyes flutter shut.

“Kriff, I don’t care. Call me whatever you want” you heard yourself say.

Fives’ eyes darkened as he softly chuckled, “Alright jetii'ika, be a good girl and lay back for me”

You obliged with a heavied sigh, and Fives’ grin only widened. Without much warning, his tongue found its place at the apex of your thighs, and all processing in your brain cut out.

The sound, let alone the sensation of him lapping at you was enough to twist your stomach with pleasure. His tongue worked with expert precision, the same precision you saw from his work on the battlefield, and suddenly you no longer scolded yourself for getting turned on by how good of a soldier he was.

He gripped your thighs as he brought you closer to him, his mouth consuming you and taking every ounce of pleasure with it. It was as if pulling this pleasure from you was second nature, as if it were his true duty to you. He was no longer a soldier of the GAR, he was the lone trooper in the invasion of your psyche, and he knew every trick to wind his way in.

You couldn't help the lewd sounds you were making. You had envisioned this situation far too often, but anything that Fives did was far exceeding your expectations. With every stroke of his tongue, every light graze of his teeth against your sensitive bundle of nerves, you drew closer to the edge, your insides constricting in pleasure and red hot desire.

Between swift motions of his tongue and lips, Fives let out his own pleasured noises, deep groans that reverberated against you and only sent you tumbling further towards release. He spoke honeyed words of praise against you, telling you how much he'd wanted this, how long he'd waited to taste you.

White hot bliss ran through your veins as Fives worked you through your high, taking every last drop of what you gave him. His large hands gripped your thighs and forced them open, not relenting until you had come down from the intensity of your release.

Your chest heaved as he pulled away, coming to rest his weight against your side. Your mouth hung open to collect your breath as he took your face in his hand, running his thumb along your cheekbone with the most adoring look plastered on his face.

“You okay?” he asked softly.

“Yeah” you breathed out, a little chuckle following, “great”

He grinned, obviously proud of his handiwork, “you reckon you can give me another?”

Your eyes widened a little as your mouth curled into its own grin, and he pressed his body into yours, making you have to bite down on your bottom lip to supress a moan quite unsuccessfully.

“Can I take that as a yes?” he smirked at your reaction.

A laugh escaped you, “you can”

He was then kissing you again, this time more unhurried, and you could taste yourself on his tongue. The intimacy of it made your head spin, which was only intensified when he lifted himself from you and removed his remaining pieces of clothing.

Watching him kneel between your legs in all his glory, even before he entered you, you thought that you could probably die happy now. There was no better feeling than that which you felt around Fives, and now, with his bare skin on yours, limbs slotting and tangling together, you felt complete.

Your bodies melded together, becoming one, and all you could see and feel was him, as if he was all that existed in the cruel galaxy you both inhabited. His eyes pierced yours as his face hovered above you, watching how he affected you. You placed your hand on his face, drawing his forehead to yours once more, and he turned his head to place a sweet kiss against your palm, even in the intense passion of the moment.

There was something so deeply arousing about how you were usually the one in control of everything, a legion of troopers at your command, but here, right now, Fives was the one in control of you. It was a welcome reprieve, but you wouldn't take it from anyone else. That much was obvious to Fives, the way you were writhing beneath him told him so.

With every action he took, he made time to worship every inch of your body, kissing your skin with a such a reverence that you had never received from anyone else in such a way. By the time your second release was washing over you, you were begging for him to follow you over the edge, and him being a obedient trooper, doing anything for his General, he accommodated your unholy pleas.

You remained joined as you both caught your breath once more, basking in the sweet ecstasy of your mutual fulfilment. You had never felt such euphoria.

Fives gulped at he looked into your eyes, a reservation about him.

“What is it?” you prompted, taking his face if your hands.

He sighed, a delighted sound that made your heart sing, “what happens now?”

You didn't necessarily want to think about it. All of the problems that you had described to Fives would still stand when your left the comfort of his embrace, but equally, something felt as if it had shifted. Fives was yours, and you were his. That was significant to you, and something about it made you feel invincible in that moment.

“I don't know” you admitted, wishing you could give a better answer, “but I'm not letting you out of my sights now, that’s for sure”

He grinned down at you as he tightened his hold, “You stole my line”

You laughed blithely, your head thrown back on the mattress as you revelled in the feeling of him against you for a long as you could.

“Well, I'm glad you feel the same” you conceded, your voice portraying a teasing edge, though your amiable smile gave away the sincerity of the comment.

“Oh jetii'ika, I don't even have the words to describe how I truly feel” he spoke earnestly, an affectionate smile lifting his lips as he brushed some hair away from your forehead and planted a kiss on the unveiled skin.

taglist: @darthnihila @cdblake1565

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