#i cried at work today and had a silent panic attack but i came home and bought drinks for my friends

[oni-verse]

am a lil drunk but i gotta yell into the void. ive been having fun by myself in my brain-head & writing my lil characters in my freetime and not caring whether its good and now my intoxicated brain is like "actually some of these designs rule how did i do that" like do you ever have that moment where youre temporarily not your worst critic. ill sober up and go back to the regular "do better cause this could be infinitely better" mentality but momentarily im like ok. i guess sometimes it doesn't suck so bad. i like my characters even if no one cares so ill keep making them

[zaceouiswriting]

Messages above the grave

Character: Dick Grayson x male reader

Universe: Titans (Netflix)

Warnings: Angst

„Hey Dick, you know that date night is today, right? Because I’m sitting in this stupid upscale restaurant alone for almost an hour. So please, get your cute ass here, before I need to punish you later.“

„Yeah Dick, it’s me again. You didn’t came yesterday and haven’t called yet. So I begin to get concerned. Please call me.

„I was at your work today. They told me, that you didn’t come in for the past few days and also could not get into contact with you. What is going on? Call me please.“

„Okay, you had your fun, Dick. Come back home now. I miss you and I begin to think, that something bad had happen to you. Please just call me.“

„I don’t even know, how much messages I left you, but here is another one I guess. Today on the way to work, a strange guy, tried to stop me, I ran as fast as I could. Wasn’t very funny, just as unfunny as you just vanishing.“

„Dick, I have heard your messaging system so many times, that I begin to get completely insane here. Our apartment feels empty without you. Come home… Please!“

Dick couldn’t other than smile at all of your messages. You were so concerned for him, that he didn't even realized how much he had hurt you, with just vanishing. But it was nice to hear from you again. His heart was pumping so hard, that it was almost scary.

Dawn had reminded him, of you. She knew that you two were together. But nothing more. She didn’t knew your name, how you look or anything. Just that the robin she once dated, wasn’t as straight as she assumed.

„Di-ick? Some-Something-Something happened. I-I-I… Please come back home, I need you. The guy-They guy I told you about? He did-did something really… really bad to me. Please, I need you!“

It was in this moment, that Dick finally realized, where he had left you. Fighting with himself, what he should do. If he should run back to you, hoping that he could help you or staying out of your way, letting you believe, that he was gone for good.

„Your police station is the absolute most disgusting place in the world Dick! I gone there to report what happened. And they laughed… They laughed in my fucking face! Called me names and kicked me out for whatever they had said. I was so angry, that I did not heard it. I mean, what the fuck? Here to help the people? Bullshit!“

Dick was angry at this too. He knew that many especially of his male coworkers were assholes, but this? That gone way too far.

„Dick? He is in front of the apartment building. He attacked me, but I could run away, before anything more than some bruises happened. How did he find me? I haven’t left the apartment, since I was at the police station. And I only told you and them about what had happened. Do you think, a police officer told this guy, where I live?“

Your voice was muffled, as if you were hiding from someone. In this moment, Dick could only panic. He already had his car keys in his hand. Was with one foot outside of the apartment he was in, with his friend calling behind him.

But there was still one message left, that Dick, by mistake made loud, for everyone to hear.

„I can’t anymore Dick.“ The hurt and pain in your voice, made Dick almost crawl out of his own skin, but which was worse, was the sound of your soft cries in the background, while you were silent. „He is banging at the door, for an hour now. I can’t go anywhere. I love you Dick, hopefully wherever you are, who you are with, makes you happier than I could. Im sorry, that I wasn’t enough. The man will not lay his hands on me again. At least not as long as I am alive.“

The entire room, understood almost instantly, what you meant. Not a single person, not even Hank, could hold back a sound of pain. Their veins cold as ice, as the horror began to wash over them. All of them, were able to hear the banging on the door, before the audio cut out and the messenger told them, that there was not further massages.

„From when was the message?“ Kory asked a completely devastated Dick.

„Two days ago,“ he simply answered, with an heavy heart and pain, that most likely never will go again. As well as guilt for leaving you alone in a place like that.

Before he could storm off, the rest of his friends were already behind him. It took them long, but not as long as normal drivers to get back.

As he and his friends, finally got to his apartment, the door was closed, but not locked. He drew his pistol and opened it. What he saw, made him cringe. Everywhere was blood. Absolutely everywhere, at the ceiling, the walls, floor, furniture. And a body in the middle of a blood pool.

He knew, that it wasn’t you, but must’ve been the attacker. So he began his search for you, beginning in your shared bedroom, nothing. Kitchen, nothing. He did not need to look for long, because the distraught voice of his ex-girlfriend rang trough the apartment. „Dick in here!“

Dick had put his firearm back into his pants, and ran to the voice. In front of the bathroom stood everyone. Rachel looking completely shocked at everything in the place.

„Look who decided to come back,“ your voice finally rang trough the place again. Dicks heart fell into his pants, as he heard you. He had feared the worst. „I just needed to get taking without my consent, Nearly punched to death, two times and needed to kill my attacker by myself. Just to get the guy who calls me his love of his life, back to me.“ The bitterness was strong in your voice and words. You were still bleeding, how you could get trough this, for days, was something you will never know. But you were happy, just to see his stupid perfect face, horrified.

He tried to touch you, to get you out of the tub. But you stopped him. „No! You did enough.“ Your eyes averted from him to go to the second most beautiful man in the apartment, „You tall, muscular adonis, pretty man, would you help me out and maybe carry me to the next hospital?“

Without hesitation, he helped you out, with all the strength you had left, you hold onto his neck, „Don’t worry, Dawn. I will not flirt with Hank anymore than you have certainly done with Dick.“

Both of the person you had mentioned, looked at each other confused and even a bit frighten. But the man that was carrying you could only laugh at that.

„Its a theme, that everyone Dick throws away, comes to me,“ the man angrily mumbled, while getting you finally out of that building.

„I love Dick too much for that. But maybe you should search for a better match? Dawn seems to be a nice woman, but your relationship, does not seem to be build on love.“

Even half dying you tried to help the people around you. Hank never wanted to hear that, but you were maybe right about that. It was build on making Dick jealous and not love. She wanted him back, but Dick wasn’t so keen on that.

„Maybe walk a bit faster? I do-don’t I…“ Finally you lost consciousness. After all that had happened to you, that was the moment you lost it?

The next time you woke up, you laid in a hospital bed and instantly made you worry about the costs. You couldn’t pay for all of this. The next thing was to look to your side.

Dick sat in a chair besides you, not holding onto you, maybe because you rudely pushed him away earlier.

You tried to cough, but nothing came out of it, still you hasty movements, woke him up, faster than you could’ve anticipated. He was instantly at your side. Guilty, written all over his face.

„Here, drink.“ He hold out a glass of water to you. Carefully taking it into your hand, without touching him.

„Will you leave me again?“

Dick was shocked at the first words, you muttered, after you finally could speak again. It hurt him, that you thought so low about him, but you had your right to be so bitter.

„No, I will never leave you again. When you get out of here, I will you take with me and telling you everything,“ he began to tell you. „And give you so much space as you need to heal from all that happened.“ Trying to not speak about any sensible topic. You were aware, that you two needed to talk about everything at some point. But were happy, that this wasn’t that exact moment.

So he laid back into his chair and just looked at you. He seemed happy, that you were still alive and you were only happy, that he came back, even when a little late. Hopefully, something like this, will never happen again.

[shinestarhwaa]

See U Tomorrow || SF9 Rowoon/Kim Seokwoo

Genre: angst, fluff

SF9 Rowoon / Kim Seokwoo x Female reader

TW?: Depression, mentions of suicidal thoughts or forms of selfharm (Y/N not taking care of herself) .

I hope you enjoy reading this and maybe get some comfort out of it❤️if you struggle with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to someone. There is help❤️

It was the 3rd day in a row this week that you had only stepped out of bed for the bathroom and for food or water. Seokwoo had barely been home, working long days, and only returning home at 11PM earliest.

Today was another day like that, and at 12AM your thoughts and inner pain became incredibly unbearable.

Your life was crumbling down around you, losing family, losing friends, not being able to get your job done. Even the littlest tasks around the house were so hard on you.

You had felt like this for the past months, maybe a year by now. Seokwoo knew about your mental illnesses, and tried his best to take good care of you. But it was hard to do so when he has to go to work every day.

You hardly saw each other anymore now he was shooting a new drama, meaning you were in charge of more and more tasks. You felt such a heavy pressure on yourself, even causing physical pain, mostly in your back, your shoulders, knees.

And now you felt drained. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally.

Utterly

Drained.

And you had been masking so well for a while now. When Seokwoo came home you made sure his laundry was done, food was ready to be eaten when he hadn't had dinner yet, the house was clean and you, you made yourself look presentable.

But now it feels like all the life has been sucked out of you. You had held your tears for so goddamn long that now they streamed down your cheeks like a waterfall.

The salty drops hit your lips and they wet his your sweatshirt slowly, forming dark grey circles on it.

It went on for what seemed to be hours, and you hadn't even noticed the bedroom door opening.

It startled you, and you felt yourself shaking in fear, in total panic because of everything that is happening. It is simply too much.

Seokwoo stands in the doorframe and immediately drops his bag to run to you.

"Baby? Are you okay? Why are you crying? Did something happen?" he asked, shooting questions, grabbing your hands and cupped your cheek.

You tried to speak, but you couldn't make a sound. You could not pretend anymore. You didn't want to lie to his face anymore.

All you did was cry.

You cried in his chest for long, and Seokwoo rubbed your back and stroked your hair for as long as you cried. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to calm you down. But he was there.

After 10 minutes you had calmed down from your panic attack. Tears didn't form anymore. The sad frown was gone. Your face was empty. Your eyes, empty.

Seokwoo almost shivered in fear. "Baby, please tell me what's going on, I need to know so I can help you."

"You don't have to do this," you whispered, "you don't need to come home to me. You can just go and focus on your career."

Seokwoo needed a minute to process what you just had said. "Focus on my- honey what are you saying? Of course I come home to you."

"I'm not worth it. You're so much better of without me. I can't do anything. I can barely eat, I don't get out of bed but I don't sleep. I pretend to be asleep when you come home so I don't have to show you my tears and I don't have to lie about how I feel," you finally spoke.

"I know that I'm only a bother and I can understand that you'd wanna leave. I'm impossible to love."

"What are you talking about? Honey, I love you so dearly, there's nothing... I would trade for you I..."

"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything."

You felt the emotions rise again, your chest felt tight and your body tensed. Seokwoo held you tight. "Baby, you can't think straight right now. It's okay. I love you so much and it will all be-"

"I don't know if I want to live anymore."

Then it became silent. You spoke the words that Seokwoo was afraid to hear for months. He truly believed you were doing better. That he was helping. That you were getting through it.

His heart broke.

"W-what?" he spoke, tears welling up in his eyes. "Y/N..."

"N-no, no, you... You cannot... Just die. You cannot just... Leave me. You are the most i-important person in the world. O-oh my god, please d-don't."

His voice was shaky. It hurt your heart. You looked away, through the window. You were terrified. But you spoke your mind.

Why would you stay when you're a burden to everyone? You felt so incapable.

Suddenly, Seokwoo held you tighter than he ever had, sobbing into your chest.

"I-I'm sorry, this is my fault, I should never have left you alone. I-I'm never leaving you alone again. I'm sorry, please don't go, I can't exist without you," he cried.

Seokwoo had never been more terrified. Your words replayed in his mind.

"I don't know if I want to live anymore."

"You have to live. Because you are strong. And I need you. You got me. Please, for me," he almost begged.

Suddenly you felt a wave of guilt rushing through you.

You'd live for him. Even for him only. Even if you were so miserable. You wouldn't want to hurt him. You wouldn't want to traumatize him. You wouldn't want to crush his heart.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, sobbing softly.

"I-I'm so sorry," Seokwoo spoke as he tried wiping your tears.

"I am so sure you can get through this, really, and I'm so terribly sorry if I made you feel lonely or worthless or... Anything bad because you are my world and... You are so strong and you..."

You shushed him, gently. Seokwoo nodded and took deep breaths. His heavily rising chest slowed.

For a long time he held you in his arms, not saying anything, to clear your minds.

Once you both were cried out and could breathe calmly again, you broke the silence.

"I need help."

Seokwoo nodded. "All the help you need, Y/N, everything, I'll personally make sure of it."

"I'm sorry I worried you, Seokwoo. I... I don't... I never meant I actually wanted to.. -"

"Please never do, you... You're such a beautiful and inspiring person and you... Get me through the day. God I'm so stupid that I've been neglecting you, honey, from now on, I am all yours," he spoke.

You nodded.

"You are my always, and my forever... And I know it's incredibly cliché and you know how much I hate it and how much it makes me cringe but you are my only one and no one can ever make me as happy as you do. From now on, we're going to work together, okay? We're gonna get you out of this Y/N."

"Okay... I love you," you said as you rested your body against his.

After a long time of just laying there, it seemed you were dozing off. Seokwoo didn't mind sleeping in his clothes. As long as he got to hold you through the night.

"Goodnight, love."

It was scary, closing his eyes, but he trusts you. He knows you'll be able to fight this.

He knows you'll be there, every tomorrow.

[silverdelirium]

hi! can you do one where draco and the reader are married (don’t make them old please make them like the married rich pretty milf and dilf couple), and they have a daughter. anyway, draco is out because of work/something else (it’s up to u) and the reader is with their daughter and they get into a small fight and the daughter says something really bad/hurtful to the reader (her mother) and the reader like gets sad (make it bad so it can be dramatic😏) and when draco gets home he finds the reader like crying (smoking too bc a milf smoking is hot but if you don’t want to add it it’s fine) and yeah basically the rest is up to you :)) ily hope ur well and fine. <3

CIGARETTES & INSECURITIES | D.M

thank you hoe @selenesheart for helping me with the title ily

warnings: anxiety, lowkey panic attack, insecurities of being a bad mother, mean child, smoking, angst w a happy ending

———

draco’s hurried steps were heard echoing across the hallway as he rapidly made his way downstairs, cussing his boss out under his breath for calling him on a fucking Sunday. the same sunday he was about to spend basking in the love of his wife and child, all expectations now turned to mush.

“i’m sorry i have to go, my love. call me if you need anything, okay?” spoke draco, tone soft as he held your face in his hands, giving you one last sad smile before pressing a sweet kiss on your lips.

you gave him a feeble nod in response with a reassuring smile, watching him storm off in long strides, still swearing in hushed whispers and with a flick of his wand, he was gone.

you instantly took notice of how intense the atmosphere got around the manor- almost scary. deadly quiet with your four-year-old toddler still asleep and big curtains blocking any sunlight from coming in.

it almost caused goosebumps to rise on your arms as if the universe was already warning you of the day you were gonna have to deal with today.

maybe the first bad thing to happen today was being woken up by draco’s phone going off like crazy with calls of his boss and endless text messages of his colleagues.

it didn’t matter though, you had other things to worry about. your toddler was already walking down the stairs with a sleepy stare as she made her way to you, immediately taking notice of how there was no trace of draco, and looking around for any signs of her father.

“hi there” you greeted, giving her a sympathetic smile when she asked for draco, her small body already wrapped around your torso. a small sigh with a brief explanation of a work emergency was given to her. her sour mood amplifying a tenfold for every word that left your mouth.

she stayed quiet for a moment, and just as you started beaming at the thought of calming a daddy’s girl- she sobbed heavily in your ear, clinging hard to you but still screaming for draco.

a grimace found its way to your face along with a sorrowful expression as you shushed her down, tracing your fingers down her spine; a small trick you always did to relax her in days like this.

her sobs quieted down but she still cried silently in your shoulder, hot tears rolling down her face that had you questioning whether you should call your husband or not, the thought accompanying the insecurity of being a terrible mother who can barely keep her child tranquil.

after a few minutes of letting her pour all her emotions out, you made a path to the kitchen and sat her down on the barstool, wiping her tears away as she huffed in what seemed to be an angry expression.

“would you like some breakfast, baby?” you spoke, tone soft and slow as to not aggravate the situation.

“i want daddy”

“he’s- he’s not here right now” you tried to reason, watching as she took a deep breath but said nothing.

you turned around to head for the stove. but your ears caught a small murmur of “you’re the worst” coming from none other than your daughter.

a thunder-struck look adorned your face, blinking back the tears that found their way to your waterline.

ever since you found out you were pregnant, the anxiousness of being a not good enough mom had filled you in seconds, thinking of the worst scenarios possible throughout the pregnancy. draco was always there to ease your nerves a bit, yet, never quite pushing them away completely.

and jesus- did that simple three-word sentence stung painfully at your heart.

you stayed frozen in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath and quickly collecting yourself, continuing your errands around the kitchen as you made an effort to ignore the way your hands became clammy and heartstrings were pulled harshly in your chest.

the rest of the day went painfully slow, your daughter completely ignoring you and just curling up on the couch or playing in her room, always slamming the door in your face whenever you attempted to talk to her. your back also aching from having to do all house chores by yourself. every once in a while getting a text message from draco, rushed typos of “i love you” and “i’m gonna be there soon”.

——

the clock read 6:07 P.M and you held the cigarette to your lips with shaky fingers, tears blurring your vision as all the frustration from today came crashing down at once.

sobs rocked through your body as you inhaled the smoke and blew it out past your nostrils. warm, thick tears not coming to a halt even once.

your cries muffled every sound around you. not taking notice of draco who was now frantically searching for you, already finding your daughter safe and asleep on the couch. yet you were nowhere to be found.

it took one look at the cigarette package on the dining table for draco to locate you. he knew about your anxiety and how bad it got when triggered.

his heart ached and fists clenched at his side as he turned to his baby girl, snuggling her deeper into the thick fluffy blanket before making his way to the porch where you sat with a hand to your sternum, big clouds of smoke fogging the air around you.

“oh, baby” he sympathized, not giving you time to react as he enveloped you in a big hug, feeling the way your curled your fists on his shirt and sobbed quietly, taking ragged breaths every once in a while.

after a few minutes of taking shallow breaths, you pulled your head back from his chest, just enough to stare at his face, his bright grey eyes running down every feature you had, almost like he was studying it.

“what happened today?” he whispered, closing his eyes and connecting his forehead with yours.

you released a breath through your nose and lit off the cigarette on the small table next to you before explaining every small detail from today to draco, a few tears escaping at some points.

once you were done, draco removed his head from yours, pulling back and displaying both of his palms on your cheeks, observing your tear-stained face made him ache with sorrow.

“my love” he started “you are the world’s greatest mother to ever exist, a bad day with your child does not define your abilities as a mom. she loves you, we all do. you don’t know how fuzzy she gets when you’re not here.”

his words made a small smile crack through your lips, buzzing nerves slowly weighing down after every syllable he spoke.

“we would all be doomed if it wasn’t for you. every parent has a bad day, do not beat yourself up for it, it happens to the best of us.” he finalized, chest swelling with pride once he saw how you were full-on beaming, puckering your lips like a silent sign for a kiss which he gladly provided.

“i love you” you mumbled against his mouth.

“i love you more” he responded.

———

🏷: @spencervera @methblinds @marrymetheonott @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @turn-to-page-394-please @fredshufflepuff @malfoysbiitch @saggyb1lls @selenesheart @metaraxia @dracoslittlesluttyprincess @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @fleursbabe @riddleswh0r3crux @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @i-love-scott-mccall @underappreciated-spoon-321 @steveharringtonswhore @dracosafety @dracoscum @riddleswh0rekrux @laceycallisto @slytherinbabess @lostaurorax @alexavolturisblog @s1ater @marauderswh0re1 @starless-starkov @black-rose-29 @tattooedkermit @purpleskymalfoy @emma67 @mypainistemporary @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @lissa-duh @paniicing @rav3nclawwhore @yagamigf

[check your private settings if i wasn’t able to tag you]

[darkmulti]

Hi! I love your blog! So hard to find a non con writers! Ignore the haters, just keep doing what you love! You’re not alone!

So happy to see your request open! I’d like to request a NON CON where Mafia JK fell in love at first sight with innocent reader and bought her in an auction. He is obsessed with her so he marries her and deflowered her, stuffing his thick manhood in her and. JK has a bloodplay kink. He wouldn’t stop fucking her until she passed out everyday. Milking her dry from orgasms. Thank you 💜

-> Thank you for the reassurance❣️

⚠️: BLOOD PLAY, NON CON, human trafficking, virgin reader, physical, mental & emotional abuse, little/innocent!reader, ddlg-ish, manipulation

“Get the hell up, you have to get ready.”

The man kicked you in your stomach and grabbed your arm, pulling you upstairs to the bathroom

“Wear this dress and fix up your face.”

He left the bathroom and you quickly jumped into the shower

Today was the “big day”

You were being auctioned off

Obviously, you were terrified and nervous

However, your current “owners” said that if someone doesn’t buy you today, they’ll make your life a living hell

They were hungry for money and if no one wanted you, you would’ve been a big waste of their money, time and energy

Well, not really — they just needed to blame someone for their lack of success

Plus, you’re the first person that they’re selling

They kidnapped you when you were walking home from the train station

You didn’t have much family nor friends which kinda made you the perfect target

You cooperated with your two “owners” because you didn’t want to get hurt

Yet, it still happened anyways

They’d often kick you, or slap you, or pull your hair

Nevertheless, you didn’t complain because you wanted to stay out of trouble

When you finished getting ready, your “owners” tied your arms and legs together and threw you into the trunk

The auction event was big

You could tell that you this event had plenty of rich and powerful people just by looking at all the cars

Your owners took you inside through the back door and told you to fix your hair

Once you did, they dragged you behind the stage and made you wait there for nearly 3 hours

There were other girls lined up in front and behind you, half looking terrified and half looking excited

In those three hours you overheard some girls talking about a certain man they wished to be bought by

Those were the girls who were “excited”

They were talking about how they went “all out” to impress him

You tend to not judge people but, you couldn’t help yourself

Who the fuck wants to be sold to anyone?

You couldn’t wrap your head around their thought process

They were practically gushing about this mafia guy who was supposedly young and handsome

Even if he was, why the hell would you want to be someone else’s property?

You muted their voices so you didn’t have to hear their nonsense and soon enough the auction started

One by one, girls and boys went up on stage and the bidding started

You were surprised because some of those girls got sold for only a couple hundred bucks

When it was your turn, your owners basically dragged you on stage and held you wrist as tight as they could so you couldn’t run

“A young, ripe, virgin finishing up university. Starting bid, $50,000.”

One by one, people raised their auction paddles and offered more for you

Your owners went wide eyed after the bids started increasing by $10,000

You eventually passed 1 million and were near 2 million

Random old men were raising their paddles higher and higher, determined to buy you

Eventually one of them had enough and said “5 million dollars!”

The room went silent and your owners were about to say “sold!” when someone interrupted and said “10 million dollars”

Even your mouth dropped

10 million?!

The man stood up and walked closer to the stage

Your two owners recognized him and started bowing multiple times

“S-She’s all yours, Mr. Jeon! Thank you so much. Please take her.”

This was the first time you saw the two males scared and nervous

And it kinda frightened you

It took a lot to scare those two but, this guy did it effortlessly

So, what in the world would happen to you?

You got dragged off stage again and the auction continued

You were dragged into a private room where the man who had just bought you gave the two men 10 million in cash

7 brief cases stacked on top of each other, full of hundreds

The two males happily accepted and let you go with the man

He didn’t want to stick around for the event so, he pulled you out of the building and pushed you into the car

“Anders, drive us home.”

The car ride was silent in the beginning

You’re eyes were glued on the window and his were glued on his phone

About an hour later, you fell asleep against the window and he noticed

He slapped you across the face and pulled you’re body away from the door

“What’re you sleeping for? You did absolutely nothing today. Do you think you’re some kind of princess? Do you think can sleep wherever you want whenever you want? Keep your eyes open. If I catch you sleeping again, I’ll make you regret it.”

Tears gathered in your eyes and you couldn’t hold it in

You started to sniffle, making Jungkook look over at you

“Shut up! If I hear you cry, I’ll force you to walk all the way home, barefoot”

You covered your mouth with your hand and lowered your head

After taking a moment to breathe normally, you apologized

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jeon. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows

“How do you know my last name?”

“I heard my owners call you by that na-”

Another smack on your cheek, this time a little harder

“How dare you call them your owners?!”

Your eyes held so much terror, and it was a turn on for Jungkook

That was the moment he realized how much control he had over you

You were so naive and innocent, it made him want to ruin you

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Jeon! I didn’t realize! It was an honest mistake.”

“Just wait until we get home” he muttered under his breath but you were able to make it out

You were terrified and rightfully so

Once you got home, Jungkook didn’t have any mercy on you

You were running from him, not knowing where you were going

You ran upstairs into a large bedroom and locked the door

“Please, don’t hurt me!” You cried, clutching onto the top of your dress that he ripped apart

You thought he was on the other side of the door, calming down but the closet door busted open and there he was

You tried to open the room door but he was faster and pulled you back onto the bed

“Already causing so much trouble for me, little one.”

He hovered over you

“I’m sorry. I’m scared. Please, don’t kill me.”

You started to cry under him

You looked so precious, begging for your life

He couldn’t resist

He took off his suit and ripped your dress open

Underneath, you were wearing a red and black lace lingerie

He let out a low growl before attacking your neck and marking you all over

“Wait! Sir! Please! Mr- agh! Mr- Mr. Jeon! No! I’ll give you money! Please! I can give you all the money in my bank account if you just let me go! $59,000 is all I have! I can-”

Jungkook started to chuckle against your neck

“59,000 dollars? That’s all? You expect me to set you free after you give me 59,000 dollars?”

He laughed right in your face which broke your heart

It was your hard earned money

You hated to see someone discredit your hard work just like that

You frowned and got tearful

“It’s all the money I have.”

You said in a quavering voice

Jungkook looked at you

You were dead serious

“I bought you for 10 million dollars and you want me to set you free for $59,000. Anyone with a brain would deny that offer.”

He slapped you again and continued on

Jungkook sucked your neck, breast and chest; leaving dark, purple marks all over

“Wait! Mr. Jeon, I-I’m actually waiting till m-marriage.”

“That doesn’t matter, anymore. You’ll be getting married to me, anyways.”

“No! Please!”

Jungkook pulled down your underwear and rubbed two fingers up your slit, making you shiver

“So pretty. I can’t wait anymore.”

He pulled out his thick shaft and you started to panic

“No! No, no, please! I don’t want this! I don’t want to do this, please!”

He spat on your opening for some lub and pushed his whole length in harshly

You groaned in pain when he did but couldn’t fight back

Your hands were against his chest but, pushing him off wasn’t easy

He started thrusting inside of you at a cruel speed, causing you gasp really loudly before wailing

“Hey! Stop! Please! It hurts!”

Jungkook pinned your wrist next to your head and fucked you deeply

After hours of fucking, cum and blood covered his cock and the bedsheet

He smeared the blood and cum mix all over your body

“Look at you, covered in your virgin blood mixed with my cum. You look so pretty.”

You were mumbling incoherent words, unable to think straight

He forced three orgasms out of you, of course you weren’t able to think straight

Sweat covered your forehead and your tight hole was leaking cum and blood

He pushed in one more time and began fucking you hard

You were squealing under him, telling him to stop yet he slapped your ass and grabbed your throat

“Your cunt seems to love my cock. That’s why you’re cumming so much around me. So stop telling me that it hurts because I know it’s a lie.”

One more deep push and you both came together

He laid down next to you and pulled you onto his chest

“Next week, you’ll officially be mine.”

You weren’t listening

Because you were passed out

It was your first time and he had made you cum at least 17 times

It would be surprising if you didn’t pass out

Jungkook didn’t lie when he said that you’ll be his in the next week

He made one phone call and whoever was on the end of the line planned a huge wedding in a week

You woke up one day and were forced into a white gown

Once you put the pieces together, you had a panic attack

You were getting married to this man you’ve only known for a week

You were being so uncooperative to the point where Jungkook had to come to you and set you straight

He quickly fucked you back into submission and made you get ready for your wedding

After your wedding, loads of fucking

You guys didn’t even show up to your reception party because Jungkook could not stop fucking you

And it continued like this for a very long time

You weren’t sure how you were still producing cum

Every morning, every night, sometimes in the middle of the day, he wants to have sex

It’s not like he’s slow or gentle either— he’s aggressive in bed, it’s tough to handle him

You usually end up passing out and even that doesn’t stop him

The next morning you wake up tired and sore however, he wakes up needy and wanting more

Sometimes he’ll fuck you hard enough to make you pass out right in the morning

Even when he comes back from a mission, he still has the energy to fuck you

You just don’t understand

For weeks, you can’t walk straight because of him

And it hurts to put any sort of pressure on your lower abdomen

Despite all of that, you still love him

After all the manipulation and brain washing he’s done to you, he’s convinced you that you’re in love with him

And that you won’t survive without him

You’ve been craving for love and attention for your whole life and Jungkook was finally giving some

Why would you want the person who makes you feel loved and appreciated gone from your life?

Jungkook used guilt tripping to make you stay with him

Not to mention, taking advantage of your toxic past

Stockholm syndrome ending for the win 🥇

Sorry for any mistakes!! Have a good day<3

[lolita-lollipop]

Omg wait! I love the part 2, but can I ask for another alternate!! Like what if they’re just stuck, but they still need to feed, so when someone moves into the apartment, they lock her up in a room temporarily so they can get the new kid. Maybe Izuku, but then they meet, when Izuku finds their room or they try to escape or something? Would they escape? Would the family catch them? How would they react? Please!!

PART 3- YANEERE ERASERMIC FAMILY CORALINE AU X READER

- I guess this is a continuation (?) kinda.

———————————————————————

You’ve been dancing with midoria in the kitchen, just a slow stepping g dance, one you might see at a school dance when a slow song comes on. It was pure euphoria, peaceful, and calm, you just loved him so much, and now you finally have the chance to be with him forever. You let a smile break ok your face as he spun you around in the air, giggling like a schoolgirl, this was perfect. Perfection falls way to quickly.

“You know, I wish we could stay like this forever, I love yo-“ he started, holding you close, not before a loud crashing noise could be heard across the house, the sound of a shattering glass, and both of you turned. You were warned of the wildlife in the area, bears, elk, maybe even deer, you sighed, letting go of his hands, making your way towards the house. Your been here for what? 3 hours? And there’s already an occurrence, just your luck too, it ruined the moment.

“Gimme a sec babe, I’ll be back, just gonna go shoo it out of the house.” You warned, you’d seen horrors great and small, a little deer couldn’t scare you, could startle you heavily, sure, but not strike real fear in your bones. He muttered an”okay” before goin back to stirring the skillet of food, also annoyed by the sudden disturbance. You turned the doorknob, displaying a nursery, preparation for the future. The window right above the creme colored crib was shattered completely, spread around the floor. Yet no animal, just a broken window, you raised a brow, bending down to touch it, then, yeh door behind you slammed shut, and you gave a laugh.

“IZUKU! Quit playing around!” You yelled, and went to turn the doorknob so you could go hug you husband again. But it wouldn’t budge, and that smile was wiped straight off your face, you couldn’t hear him laughing, nor could you hear his footdeps, what’s going on?

“What are you talking abou-“ he started up, yelling back at you from the kitchen, but he was cut off before he could continue, a loud clanging sound could be heard, then nothing more. You panicked looking around, someone was in your house, right? There’s no other explanation, you tugged at the doorknob, pulling it as hard as you could, before it just came off, now you’re really locked in here.

“You know, we’ve been waiting for you” a voice echoed behind you, it made your spine crawl with a familiar sensation, you know who taht is, you’re just hoping you’re wrong. You paused for a moment, not moving a muscle, then turned around, meeting buttons to eyes. And so, you screamed. The man who claimed his title of “father” had been standing in front of you, reaching his hand out touch you. You made a dash towards the shattered window, of yoj could hop through it then you could go around and get out. Failing though, as he had his hand wrapped around your shirt, his fist bale led up in the fabric, he yanked you back, pulling you into his chest.

“GET OFF OF ME, DONT TOU H ME YOU MONSTER.” You screamed at him, clawing at his hands, a scream resonated form outside the door, Clearly belonging to your husband, which jsut amde your movements more panicked, you kicked at his legs, bit his shoulder as hard as you could, scratched him, rammed your head into his chest, everything. You were NOT going to do this again. How did they even get here? Where did he come from?

“You Need to calm down honey, you will hurt yourself” he spoke, completely unaffected by your attacks, he pulled your head into his chest to shush you, this time around, they had been prepared, it was a mere coincidence that you had been in this house, but to then it seemed like fate, earlier in the day someone had knocked over the shelf standing in front of the door, so it was fairly easy for them to get out, just to see you, little you, dancing with a nasty man.

His blood boiled, you left them just to do exactly what they forbade you form doing? You’re married? No, no way. That boy is as good as dead, at least he’ll have a meal.

“Cmon, you didn’t really think we’d let you leave us, you’re just too little to understand, oh I know, we’re protecting you. So please don’t cry baby, don’t be sad, we have a suprise for you when we get home” he spoke, dragging you flailing figure closer to the wall, bending down to open up the door again, you continued screaming, grasping at anything to fight back with, anything. You ended up grabbing the closest thing to you, a plushie.

you grabbed a fucking plushie to fight off a man twice your size

He shoved you into the interlocking hallway, shutting the door right behind him and l I king it, licking you in there. The only other way out would be through the other door, leading to the other side, to the “other home”. You sobbed, letting the panic fully overtake you, crawling fowrard and sitting in the middle, curling up in a ball, you cried, the door was locked, and you’re on the wrong side of it, with a stupid plushie as self defense. There isn’t any way out, how did you not notice the small door and get the hell out! Why hadn’t you noticed it? You could’ve avoided this! All of it!

All you could manage to hear through the thick wooden door on the other side were one sided screams, each made you curl up further, in pure agony, each and every last one made more tears aris eto the brink of your eyes, you knew, oh you knew so well that he wasn’t okay, yet you could do nothing about it, you hate this, you hate this helplessness, you hate them.

Then, the screams silenced, and the door Clicked open again, you made yet another attempt at dashing through the opening, and failed again , when your other father grasped your shoudler, pulling you right back. Hizashi hushed you, the hallway had heightened quite the bit, enough so that they could fit comfortably, he swung you off your feet, pulling you close.

“Oh don’t be like that, I know you’re upset, but there isn’t a reason to pout, let’s get you back home, this time, you aren’t leaving. Oh god you’ve grown too much, your still my little baby girl forever, don’t worry.” He cooed, walking with your squirming figure to the opposite side of the hallway, his husband was holding a bag of… um, remains, from that scum from earlier, eri was gonna have to eat. He almost cried at how cute you looked, even with the tarts, you’re just holding. A cute little stuffed animal, all sweet, his little baby.

“You’re insane, I don’t belong here- not with you” you hissed, trying to bite his hand off when he caressed your face, then bent down to open that door, that dreaded little door. Just to reveal the same thing that haunted your nightmares , the same rooms you spent being forced to cuddle and color, the place that you’ve been avoiding the past three years, your “other” home.

“Don’t say that, oh- KIDS! Your little sister did back!” Aizawa yelled, you could once again, hear the puttering of footsteps upstaira, as you did your first day here. You looked back at your “fathers” giving them one last tearful glance, silently begging them to let you go. It was so perfect just moment ago, why does this always happen to you? It was so, so perfect.

You should’ve known by now to realize that perfection, gets shattered with just a touch of a button

———————————————————————————————————

Thank you for requesting! It was super fun to do!

I got my inbox to work again! So I can see new asks, it started acting weird this morning, but I fixed it, so we’re all good!

Have a wonderful day today! Goodbye!

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Family Business

A/N: It took me a while to write and finish it, but I like the idea a lot. Hope you guys enjoy! Pairing: Mafia!Steve Rogers x F!Reader Word count: 3,008 Warnings: Death, weapons, mention of blood, swearing.

(Gif is not mine, by super-madi16)

Okay, so maybe this wasn’t the way you expected to spend an average Thursday night with your daughter.

Everything was going perfectly fine. The two of you were making dinner together in the large, modern kitchen of your New York penthouse, surrounding by the glimmering of lights from other buildings and down below in the bustling streets that never sleep.

Carbonara was on the menu. It was one of Stella’s favorite things to both make and eat. At the independent age of 16, it was rare that she wanted to spend time with you and Steve anymore. She would much rather be out with her friends and her dad’s credit card than to be cooped up in this rather ginormous penthouse the family called home.

But here she stood, stirring the sauce as you monitored the pasta, complaining about her day and about how stupid boys her age were (as she always put it she was looking for a man, not a boy which always resulted in Steve chocking on whatever he was eating or drinking at the time). That conversation resulted in complaining about school in general, and how much it sucked being a teen.

As you continued stirring the pasta and she went back on her phone to play another song from the Bluetooth speakers in the kitchen, a sudden gunshot erupted. Both of you froze, your eyes scanning the room to see all of the guards rushing in the direction of the noise. But it only took a fraction of a second for your mother bear instincts to kick in. Grabbing your daughter and pushing her into your chest, you desperately ran back and into the secret room behind your clothes in your walk-in closet, that Steve had designed especially for emergencies.

Running your fingers across the area, the door popped open. You desperately pushed your daughter in than yourself, shutting the metal door back with the huge lock and bar, and hid with her in one of the corners, turning the lights off. You could hear her heavy breathing, as clearly she was having a panic attack. Grabbing onto her and her soft hair, you held her and murmured sweet words of endearment in an attempt to calm her down, which seemed to work... some.

It wasn’t until you heard a loud bang against the door that you yourself softly gasped and clung onto your daughter, she let out a soft sob. Knowing someone, who was probably not an ally, was on the other side of the door frightened you and both her. She was the first, you noticed, to throw herself away from your and to a box only a few feet away. Through the dark, you could see her open the wooden box and grab a gun inside, her shaky hands visible. She slowly and as silently as she could, cocked the gun. “Stel,” You whispered to her, “I got it.” She shook her head. “Stella I told you-”

The loud crash from the metal door that one divided safety and danger between the two of you and the outside world came colliding down. You couldn’t identify much but a man with a gun in all black, his silhouette disrupting the light from your closet that seeped its way through the doorway. None of Steve’s men would dress in all black.

You weren’t sure what to do. In a fluster within your mind as your daughter held the sole weapon you two had and a man who could end it all right here, or worse, drag it on further out. Your eyes froze in a complete panic your hands involuntarily shaking and shivering cold with fear.

A gunshot sounded, the man falling to the floor in a single second as blood surrounding his body and ricocheted onto the walls. You gasped in relief, looking over to your daughter, “Stella?”

There the young girl, long brunette hair with delicate waves at the end, sat on her knees in complete horror and awe, staring at the dead body. She dropped the gun from her right hand and let out a horrid sob. Cupping her face in her hands, you rushed over on your hands and knees, holding her as tightly as you could without suffocating her body. You cooed her, brushing her soft hair in your fingers and placing your own chin on her head, engulfing both her body and soul within yours.

“I-I,” She mumbled, “I killed someone.” It took everything within your being not to start crying yourself, or worse, lash out at someone or something. The genuine and pure form of anger that pulsated in your veins made you want to rip something to shreds.

While ultimately this wasn’t Steve’s fault, you were mad at whoever did this. You had chosen this life with your husband, you two had chosen to have a child together. You brought her into this world, without her permission, and you always tried your hardest to keep her out of the world of Mafia.

She had been interested since day one of getting involved, being the head man, or headwoman just like Steve. And when she asked him about it all he wasn’t only happy to hear about her interest, he was proud. Something that Steve rarely meant, unless it was for Stella.

But you knew after tonight, that would change.

It was only a few minutes later, you were sure, but it felt like an hour for Steve himself and a whole military worth of his men to arrive. “Y/N?” He called out, running into your closet judging by the pattern of his feet moments on the hardwood floors, “Stella?”

His figure appeared in the light, his face turning from concern to sadness. Dropping the anger that once tensed his muscles, he walked over and dropped to the floor next to your daughter, as Bucky and Sam rounded the corner to see both the scene and the body in awe.

“Baby?” Steve cooed to your daughter. For the first time, she looked up with swollen and soaked eyes. Another sob escaped her lips as she moved from you to him, clinging onto his dress shirt for dear life as she cried into it, his large arms embracing her in a large hug as he kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“D-dad,” She stuttered out, pulling away to look at him.

“Yeah, sweetie?” He looked down at her, still holding her partially.

“I killed someone.” He looked with big eyes at her, then calmed down and sighed.

“Okay.” He huffed out, “We’ll deal with it okay?” He looked back to Bucky and Sam, snapping only once and looking to the body which they had other men help them out with, as Steve turned both you and Stella away.

“Dad, I’m a murderer.” She mumbled as more tears fell down her red cheeks.

“No, sweetheart, no you’re not.” He sighed, “It was self-defense.”

“But I killed someone!” She argued.

“To protect you and your mother.” He repeated himself, “Darling, that’s self-defense. You’re not a murderer, and you never will be.” She continued to hold onto Steve, still crying. “Let’s get out of here, okay?” She nodded, her head still buried in his chest.

He helped you up onto your feet first, checking over your face and giving a quick kiss to the top of your forehead, before retreating back to Stella. He picked her up, carrying her bridal style into the living room. Placing her down on the couch gracefully like she was a porcelain doll, he cooed her a bit more before barking at the men around the room to remove themselves and go elsewhere in the house.

“Baby? Are you okay?” The two of you sat down on the couch. He was on her left, you were on her right. Running his hand through her hair to calm her down, he genuinely looked worried.

“I can’t do that again, Dad.” She leaned into his chest, “I can’t.” She mumbled.

“I know, sweetie, I know.” He sighed, still running his hand over her head. “You won’t ever have to again. I promise.” He gave her a tender kiss on the top of her head, you now rubbing her back in circles with one of your hands. “Do you want some dinner?” He asked her next, aware that no one had eaten yet. She shook her head. “Mkay.” He sighed, not wanting to push her.

“I just- I just wanna go to my room.” She pulled away a little, giving both you and Steve one more hug.

“You sure, honey?” He asked very lightly. She nodded.

“We’ll text you with dinner options, alright?” You spoke up and she nodded. “We love you.” You smiled at her. She nodded and walked away. Once she was up the stairs, Steve let out a sigh and moved closer to you, throwing his arm around you. You sank back into his chest, closing your eyes to absorb the warmth and safety.

“And how are you?” He asked, giving you a kiss on the head.

“As good as I can be.” You replied. “I’m just worried about her.” He nodded.

“I am too.” He admitted, “I’m so sorry that happened, it’s my job to protect you two and-”

“And you weren’t here so it’s not your fault, Steve.” You fought back peacefully.

“But if that fucker wouldn’t have-”

“Steve, stop.” You told him firmly, “There’s no need to blame yourself for any of this, okay? If we should be worried about anything it’s Stella.” He nodded in agreement.

You felt some guilt as well. You should have been the one to have the gun, you were the adult in the situation. Granted Stella was exactly like Steve; she was persistent, she was stubborn. Usually, that would get her places, she could even get more money out of Steve for shopping trips or to go out with her friends because of her negotiation skills and how she would never stop. But today was drastically different, this was a situation where you didn’t want those traits to play out. Especially the way they did.

You curled into his chest, his arms wrapping around your body, your back to his chest. “I love you, so much.” He mumbled into your hair.

“I love you too.” You slightly smiled, rubbing his arms with your hands.

“So you know what you want for dinner?” He asked you next.

“I don’t care,” You sighed, “Maybe that Italian spot a few blocks away. The one that Wanda’s family owns.”

“Oh yeah,” He responded, “Let’s get take out from there.” He pulled out his phone, still holding you with one arm, and got the menu. “Should we get Stel something?” He asked, you nodded.

“Even if she doesn’t eat it tonight we can keep it in the fridge.” He nodded in agreement.

“What do you think she would want?” He asked you again and you lightly laughed.

“You know what she wants.” You rolled her eyes.

“Chicken tenders.” You both said in tandem, light laughter following. “Mkay love,” He got up, letting you set yourself back on the pillows, “I’m gonna go order, alright?” You nodded in agreement.

As he departed down the hall to order, to leave you without any disturbance, you chose to watch some TV. More as a mindless distraction, something to keep your eyes from replaying the scene in your mind of your daughter defending you. Something to occupy the ringing in your ears between the gunshot and the sobs of the one you loved most.

You tried so hard to be calm and collected, for both her and Steve. You knew Steve would loathe himself enough about all of this, now was your time to be the rock in the family. Even if you weren’t all that solid at the moment.

“Love? Baby, you there?” You heard Steve, breaking you from your trance.

“Huh, what?” You looked up with a soft smile as you glanced at his face. He smiled back.

“You zoned out there for a sec,” You nodded as he came to sit next to you again. He examined your face for a moment, seeing right through you as if your walls were made of glass. “Baby, I need you to talk to me.” He said softly, with a slight tinge of worry in his voice. You sighed, looking down to your hands and then back up at him.

“I’m just-” You tried to contemplate which words would accurately fit how you were feeling, “I’m conflicted.” You admitted to which he gave an inquisitive look.

“How so?” He asked.

“I want to- I need to be there for Stella,” You began, “But I also haven’t had time or space to process this myself. and maybe that’s selfish, I’m sure it is. But it’s all just so much-”

“It’s not selfish,” Steve insisted plainly, “Not at all. Stella’s been through a lot today, but so have you. And if you need all the time and space in the world to figure this out, I’ll figure out a way to give it to you.” He offered a kind smile. “I can be there for both you and Stella. That’s my duty.”

“But it shouldn’t be.”

“But it is,” he continued, “Because you willingly chose to immerse yourself in my lifestyle, which was enough to ask for, and Stella didn’t have a say.”

“But still I’m her mom and-”

“And you’ve both been through a lot and you both need time.” He gave you a peck on the cheek, “I love you, and you deserve all the time that you need.”

It took a few days for Stella to come back and begin to interact with you guys again. You had brought food to her room, some candy and ice cream too, everything and anything she needed. Steve had called her off school after yelling at the principal and using the excuse, “I pay enough for that damn school the least you can do is give my kid a few days off” which seemed to work.

It was minimal interaction at first. Initially, she was just grabbing some water. Then it turned to snacks, then to a very small conversation, then to her finally spending some time with you guys.

It wasn’t until you had all sat down for a family dinner that she had begun to open up, just a bit though. It was primarily you and Steve attempting to talk about things of interest that related to her: politics, books, anything you could. She remained silent, in her own mind and world. You weren’t sure what she was thinking, but you didn’t want to push or interrupt her either.

“Dad?” She finally spoke up, her voice reaching just above a whisper. Both of your heads shot up to where she sat, next to Steve and across from you.

“Yes, sweetie?” He asked, putting his full attention on her.

“I- um,” She began contemplating what she was going to say, looking down at her food which she has slowly been eating, “I need to tell you something, now, but you have to promise me that even if you get mad, you won’t yell or anything.”

“Of course not,” He grabbed her free hand and held it on the table, “I promise.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few brief moments before looking back up to him, “I don’t think I can take over all of this.” She admitted, clearly awaiting a response with little breath.

“All of what?” Steve asked.

“Your position.” She clarified.

Naturally, she was next in line to be the mob boss. Sure she was a girl, Steve didn’t care though. He had been preparing her for most of her life. But you knew from the moment she pulled that trigger that that was it. She would never be able to be in the mob.

Steve stared for a few seconds, looking down and giving off a quiet sigh before clearing his throat. “That’s fine.” He lightly smiled, still holding her hand. She gave a confused look.

“A-are you sure? You have to be mad-”

“No, no I’m not. I get it.” He admitted, “And don’t worry. We’ll find someone to take over. We can’t forget Will, Uncle Buck’s son, he could take over too.” She nodded lightly.

“Thanks, dad.” She looked up at him with a tight smile, to which he smiled back.

“Darling, I hope you realize that your mother and I didn’t just have you to take over the business,” He clarified, “You’re our daughter, and that’s your first and only role to us.” You nodded too, silently agreeing with what he was saying.

“Thanks, Dad,” She softly smiled, “I love you guys.”

“We love you too.” You smiled, grabbing her other hand, before looking to Steve raising one of your eyebrows. He gave you a confused look, pondering over what you were trying to communicate, before finally getting it.

“Oh,” He sighed, with a soft smile, turning his attention back to Stella. “Your mother and I thought it might be best to take some time off, with you, of course, so we scheduled a three-week trip to stay down in Palm Beach, at the house there.” He smiled at her, to which she smiled back.

“Wait, but what about school?” She asked. Steve rolled his eyes.

“I dealt with it don’t worry.” He began, as you got up to begin taking plates to the dishwasher, “fuck school anyways.” Stella began laughing as water flew out of her mouth, to which she covered her mouth with her hand in shock, and Steve began laughing too.

“Hey!” You scolded him, “We should not be preaching that to our daughter. Or any kid for that matter.” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m also allowing you to take three friends. No boys though, and their absence will be dealt with too.”

“Thanks, again, dad.” She smiled, genuinely, for the first time in weeks.

[d3monslust]

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 - 𝐀.𝐃.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Only setting up traps for them , Andy didn't see any of this coming

𝐖𝐂 : 3,151

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: pregnancy, mentions of miscarriage & abusive relationships , cheating , manipulation , violence

𝐀/𝐍 : tumblr deleted the original and I thought for couple of minutes I haven’t backed it up to the point I had a panic attack :) also I worked really hard for this , any kind of interaction is appreciated!!

////////////////June 7th 2020\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Every story has a happy ending , where the villain gets defeated and the heroes win , but in eden , no one could recognize the corruption and the decent. Everyone hid their darkest and filthiest desires deep down inside them , in their abyss of their souls . Andy knew that , from first hand . He was still getting to know the place , the idle juveniles laying in the sandy beaches , the laughs of the middle aged men echoing through the thickness of the trees’ leaves . A literal paradise ... with no God .

Dolan had promised his wife to keep her safe, and eventually after his decadence , he was more fazed than anything . Their inseparable form could be made out from kilometers ago, their vivid and full of life auras leaving hints of sunshine from time to time . Winning the couple of the year and being stunned was not in their plans but the did not dodge it . Until Dolan started venturing at inexcusable bars , reciprocal pink lipstick decorating one side of his neck while he reclined next to his bond , mumbling about his ambiguous accomplishments. He had her to the point , Mariah felt overwhelmed. The weight of his nifty assets , the gravitas of his clumsy , yet anticipated acts made her scream and wince .

But Mariah David Dolan , did not intend on giving up so easily , only because her husband was demonstrating his incompetent self . Haphazardly, or not , the female found herself at Sherlock’s , who fasty evaluated and corrupted all of her nasty problems . Taken the right measurements, Mariah decided to treat themselves to a dinner , the brunette averting his gaze back from his laptop to his wife. “Did something happen ?” Mariah never cooked , even at special , “crowded” occasions , she wouldn’t lay a finger at the metallic kitchenware . “No . I just though about all the work you’re recently hooked with. A nice dinner with your wife would help you blow off some steam” smirking at the fit of the last words, she left Dolan alone, drowning in his intellectually safe thoughts.

The capriciousness of the vexing atmosphere made the couple exchange some absurd looks. With Andy being the always tired one, sexual intercourse was lost long ago . “Something you would like to say ?” “No .” She went for a debate , any sort of the key for relationships , communication. If that clink unraveled , there would be no sweet salvation for the married couple . “Well , I want to say something.” Andy whispered a silent “go on” as one of their housekeepers wiped off him some of the pasta’s sauce . “I’m pregnant .” the brunette almost choked at the hear , she couldn’t be . “What ?” voice so small , the trait of vulnerability showing .

The fraction made his stomach toss and turn with anticipation, his dreams for the unknown slowly falling apart . “I’m pregnant on the 3rd month .” eyes infested with fury , the blue like sea color dissipated. “And when were you planning on telling me , hm ? When the waters would broke ? Or when the bump would start to show ? Or when you couldn’t fucking miscarriage?” his excessive, painful words ventured to withhold her insurmountable fury . Unceremoniously, his unbeatable character almost took back his sharp words , the marvel Mariah always waited for could intervene their scold and corrupt his grudge . Albeit she had cried and prayed for that baby to come , her husband didn’t yearn it .

“Did you talk to the gynecologist? Can you ?” he stated chastely , reclining his tensed back to the chair . Who could envision Andy Dolan with a child ? The reluctance became vexing , the tension had to be dwindled if she wanted to keep that inexcusable -for him- child . “Yes . We ... discussed and he said that I cannot ... get rid of it .” her unconvincingly words passed from the one ear to the other . He abruptly threw his crystal glass at the respective wall , agitating the woman to run to clean the mess . The hot , ambiguous tears wetting her cheeks . “Cant you just love me ?” she mumbled , her fasty movements elicited a cut from the sharp glass . She hissed at the pain , she wanted to resemble the perfect , sincere , housewife Andy pleased . To conquer the theme , so as to stand next to him with all her lucid pride while clutching his right hand .

And the things became even worse , chaos consuming the island , darkness drowning the residents . But the worst was Andy’s behavior shift . The unintelligible man faltered and his intriguing about his serene family faded , woefully leaving only his malice and possession . Fighting with his own demons , his rigid and virile facade came and ended up resented . The 24-hour absence of the paternal figure made the child cope with egregious insults and quarrels . Curling up in her little bed , her hands covering the ears as not to listen his beloved parents . Was her the reason they fought every night ? And as the family withered , Andy prepared to hit with sweet and sour vengeance .

“Please ...” the woman begged , the tears blocking her already blurry vision . Fatigue in her system degenerating, she tried to refrain this , but Dolan’s wrath could not be avoided . “Please what , hm ? You had a fucking debt ! Look after that damned child . And I swear to god Mariah ^ if something had happened to my daughter!” he scolded . “Oh come on ! Stop acting like you care ! You never did ... you never cared about your family .” His intimidating methods would usually work , and if not he would try for the vicious skin-to-skin contact . Slapping her and looking her terribly weak silhouette, squirming and crying under him . She remained frigid , not wanting to get that answer , Mariah ran to the basement , advancing around the marble halls like a lost puppy . Andy rubbed his stressed temple , waiting for his own kind of wonder to come and take him from this type of hell . The paradise where demons are hidden .

Andy never wanted to become one of them. That vicious, hungry, creatures . Demons . The olds said that if somebody approached the North river he would see a little red creature . A graceful , gorgeous demon . That was bullshit , demons didn't exist , his friend Michael had told him , that poor man - he had taken the subject of claiming to be the Antichrist of the end times too thick . He ended up at an asylum - good man , sick brain . “What are you thinking ?” . God , or whoever , heard him sent him his guardian angel . The nifty woman was everything he wished for . A real living angel . And that chaste, naive flirt shifted into this; whatever that was.

“Nothing to be honest . But let’s not talk about me , hmmm ?” the girl nodded heartily . Y/N had found her person , the one she could trust and never receive betrayal , the one she could cry at and talk about her insurmountable problems . Their meeting was casual - one , two drinks exchanged , some additional winks and the saccharine act of sex to help Y/N realize her feelings. When she was with him , the blithe and sybarite feeling would bloom inside her , becoming as beautiful as a sanguine rose . She chuckled at his works , could describe him as selfless ? No . But to her ... yes . Her despondent self hid his abusive and possessive persona . For her eyes and only , Andy Dolan was a god , innocent and perfect . “I wanted to ask about ... the divorce ? When are you two signing it ?” he had to be astute and answer handily . But they answer was always the same “Oh sweetheart, don’t worry . Mariah is a bit pertinacious but I’ll persuade her , okay ?” and she would fall at the trap , again .

“You’re always answering the same !” maybe today she would revolt and fortunately leave the poisonous love of Andy’s . His eyes shone dangerously, he didn’t want to do this . “Y/N’s not like Mariah” he would remind himself , but the poor girl was sticking her nose almost everywhere . “Aren’t you pleased , hm ? I took you from that fucking clinic , I helped you withdraw and this is your thank you ? I’m disappointed in you , Y/N .” his esoteric character on sight again . His cogent and invidious words caused the sentient girl spill the salty water . The male disdaining to help or comfort . “You deserve this anyway .” she stumbled back , her apprehension increasing whilst seeing him standing up from the bed . That absurdity had to stop , but he had saved her and it was her time now .

As Andy returned home , and the futile try to persuade his wife about the divorce exhausted him , he found himself at his daughter’s room . Observing her sincere and innocent moves . “Daddy ?” “Yes , Baby ?” his far-fetched sweet talk made the two smile in sync . The blonde’s smile making daddy crack . “Can I tell you something?” Andy nodded , hoping the child wouldn’t have read any of his recreational messages . “Mommy told me the reason she doesn’t want you two to break up !” his eyes lit up at her appendix . Perhaps it was the money or the child but anyway - Andy had to know . “What’s that ?” patting his lap for the girl to sit , Hera made herself comfortable at the warmth of his legs . “She said that she won’t let you fool around with every individual who has two holess.” “She said what ?!?!” “Yes , yes but what did she mean when she said “every individual with two holes .” ?” “Not now , Hera .” he quickly placed the kid down , as she sulked at her daddy’s extraordinary behavior.

By the time Andy stated the predicament , Mariah had ruminated on her terms . She should have said this , fuck she really shouldn’t . Her dull and attention-seeking words pushed her husband’s last buttons . “Are you fucking braindead ? What was that you said to my daughter ?!” she knew where that debate would end up . Condescendingly , she wrapped her arms around his neck . Her touch-starved grating amusing his carnal urges . Not wanting to dwell on the situation , Andy let it happen . Her amorous posture , the well-med hair , how didn’t he feel it coming ? Her hands traveling at his shirt’s buttons while Andy’s fingers went for her top . Discarded clothing were soon decorating the floor of their kitchen . His greed for more would eat him up one day . And he waited - patiently and calmly for that day . Her tenuous dominance caused waking up his boredom. But his prurient mind , thought otherwise.

She licked his upper lip , Andy letting her tongue slip into his mouth . The sloppy kiss turning into something more passionate, more loving . “I’ve missed this .” she mumbled in between breaths , making a smirk plaster on Dolan’s face . “I’ve missed you .” he hushed her by kissing her , the loving , lingering kiss making butterflies fly in her stomach . “Andy ?” he groaned at the call , not wanting to eye roll , he approved the question and motivated to go on . “Do you love me ?” “Yes. Only you . And no one else . I know things are hard right now but I’ll make it up to you.”

Bare bodies tangled . Two bodies in one . His hips snapped viciously at hers , hand grabbing a harmful fist of hair . Abruptly pulling it back , making Mariah hiss at the sudden contact of pain . The persona she would only see , not even Y/N , the sadistic one . Her head touching his sweaty torso , the tears in her eyes strengthening his stamina . The coil in her stomach tightened and as the loved noticed it - his hands traveled between her puffy lips , toying with her little bud . “I’m .... im-” her muffled cries interrupting her . “I know baby . Cum , cum with me .” and the coil in her belly broke synchronized with his . The addicting feeling of euphoria engulfing them both . “You did so well .” his sugary words causing her pride to rise , awaking her love for him . Just like the old times . “I love you , Mariah .” she perched at his tight embrace , inhaling his intoxicating scent . “Mhm me too .” she had to savor the moment . Mariah didn’t know what could possibly find her tomorrow .

////////////////

And as Andy distanced himself from Y/N, he kept his promise and made up the tangle. At least everything that could be fixed . The insuperable bond they created was ineffable. The somnolent love , almost dead , rose back from the dead . His pernicious and arcane self opened at his therapist . The Dolans couldn’t be happier . Apathy no longer lived between them . No invidious implication wafting around the tensed atmosphere. Just some more scarce , anticipated details and Dolan would finally fall into blithely.

Andy planted the usual good morning kiss on his wife . Excusing himself for his aimless absence on lunch and venturing to the car . The fraction of 2 to months without seeing Y/N, made him tacit. Where was the power Dolan’s hold ? He couldn’t falter, not now. He would withhold and keep things conservative. His conscience screamed no , but he shut it off , not wanting to trust his instincts . Choosing the obliviousness.

Approaching her modern like house , the cars of topical police confused his comprehension. Incompetent to walk inside , albeit he promised not to care - a part which was got circumvented - some of his worry remained to Y/N . “Officer , is she okay ?” the concern in his eyes made the blue - dressed man doubt his accusation . “Sir , are you Mr.Dolan ?” the man let his white scribbling block down , paying full attention to the brunette . “In the flesh .” two more patrols approaching, no feeling of timidity in their eyes . His envision had to be mendacious . A prosaic one , more realistic. “Andy Dolan you are arrested for the murder of Y/N Y/L/N” his conception blurred, everything changing into automatic. His eyes caught the figure of his wife talking to another police man - she wouldn’t? Would she ?

Everything happened so quickly, the metal handcuffs were clutched onto his hand, the ignominious state making him sentient. He would go to prison and there was no denial in that . At least he would leave Eden .

/////////////// Now \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

He had learnt the news . Mariah was in all this . She had been informed about Andy’s illegal affair , not only with women but with drugs , too . On the one side, she had managed to plan her husband’s perfect suicide but the contradiction she received made her tentative. Therefore she visited the professionals . Sherlock’s beneficial - for both Mariah and him- and handily trap got Dolan arrested . They had planned everything, even the littlest detail . The plan was easy , yet complicated.

He would wake up at 7:15 a.m. as always . Head to the kitchen to make his morning coffee , catch up with Mariah who would accidentally leave the house . His phone would remind him about his last meeting with Y/N , where she would end up thing with him . Or what Mariah had decided to do for her . Y/N had left the island months ago when Mrs.Dolan appeared in her house and threatened to kill her and her soon-to-be-born child. As Andy would drive his way , Sherlock would leave his fingerprint everywhere , placing them carefully at the edges of the gun . Next step would be Y/N’s doppelgänger, nice and murdered next to the white rug .

-

The unbearable route of the dull prison . The thousand of men behind the metal bars , hungry for every kind of fight and sexual intercourse nettled his every atom . Compelling himself not to communicate with anyone , Andy , who had received a life imprisonment lost and the last bit of faith . There was no salvation for him , it never existed . “You have a letter .” the word taking him out of his dwelling thoughts. His family never sent him letters , not that they were coming . Drugs were forbidden, or that was the law applied . “Sender ?” “Unknown .” Andy wasn’t in the mood for playing games . This almost one years in prison erased all of his lenient future. Additionally, alleviating his last mendacious fantasies about life .

Taking the rigid piece of paper , the handwriting of a woman caught his attention . Refraining himself from toring it apart and throwing it to the trash can , he want for abstinence. Cutting the edges with a small knife which used to hide right down his pillow , the form a photo fall on the floor . Inhaling a piece of pure reluctance , Andy took the shiny piece of paper between his hands . The silhouettes of two girls laughing at each other quirked his eye brow . But her ineffable and disheveled beauty stopped his breath . A baby adjoining her side , made him caught the implication . The transparent eligibility to join this family causing him to incandescent. That was his child and his Y/N .

Last thing , eyes traveling at the bottom of the photo

- SHOT WITH NIKON 456 | 6/4/2021 | 7:56 p.m.

And they were alive .

////////////////////////////////////////

Tag list ; @ferndolan @brooklinn13 @lavenderahs @mllxngdonswife @kitty4860

If anyone wants to be removed or added just say it lol

[malleux]

little one. | k.a

-> Pairing: Kaeya Alberich x Parent!Fem!Reader

-> Genre: Fluff, More platonic than romantic idk reader has feelings they’re not too acted upon

-> Requested: Yes

-> “ooooh! can i have a single parent!au for whoever you choose in genshin?? thank you!”

-> Summary: Kaeya accidentally meets your daughter

-> A/N: this is the cutest ask ever, and if you know me from my other writing accounts, you’d know that i’m a sucker for au’s! i did take some personal liberties ofc because the request wasn’t really specific. thank you anon! this fic really didn’t turn out the way i had wanted, but i didn’t know how to incorporate all of my ideas, so maybe i’ll do a part two who knows :)

Being an adventurer was a difficult job. Being a mother was also quite difficult. Being both was even worse.

Completing quests and going on daring missions was one of your favorite things to do, but protecting Ella was your priority.

Your five-year-old was your pride and joy, the best thing to ever happen to you, despite you having her at a young age. You and your daughter lived a happy life that you kept completely separate from your adventurer work. Nobody except for Jean and Lisa even knew about Ella, as you preferred to leave her with a babysitter on the days you were around town.

Ella was with the babysitter now, as you were sitting at a desk in the library, researching more on Abyss Mages before taking on a commission that included them. Your mind wandered, though, imagining how Ella would make you play dolls with her when you got home. She’d then play by herself for a bit while you cooked dinner, only to bathe and fall asleep very quickly after that. Goodness, you really missed her-

“Y/N! Just the girl I was looking for.”

You peeked up from your book, quirking an eyebrow. “You were looking for me?”

“I just wanted to remind you about tonight.” Kaeya chuckled, laying his hand on the top of the sword attached to his hip. “You promised me you’d get a drink with me this evening, remember?”

Ah, shit. You did remember.

You’d lost a bet yesterday with Kaeya, and his reward was you stopping by Diluc’s tavern with him for a few drinks. You hadn’t drank since you became pregnant. Kaeya didn’t know this, of course. You’d only moved to Mondstadt a few months ago, but you’d become close friends with the Calvary Captain and the other knights.

Yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell everybody about your daughter. Especially those who you may be slightly... romantically interested in. You’d had men in your life before who knew of Ella. They’d ultimately left, leaving both you and your daughter heartbroken. You kept her a secret from then on, unable to put your daughter through that again.

“Yeah, yeah. I remember.”

“You better. I’ll pick you up from your place this evening.” Kaeya winked at you- or blinked, you really couldn’t tell with that god-awful eyepatch- and walked back to his own office. You blushed at the thought of being alone with him.

Was it like a date? Just two friends getting drinks after work? What? You slightly hoped for the former.

There was no denying that Kaeya was an extremely attractive individual. He was everything you wanted in a man, plus some. You often daydreamed about what it would be like to be with the Cryo user- how happy Ella would be around him and how well he may be with children. You imagined your family to be happy. But alas, that was just a daydream.

One that you had to quit imagining. You were getting too hopeful.

You shook your head and closed the book, deciding to head out of Mondstadt to complete the commission.

꧁꧂

“Mommy!”

A grin appeared on your face as you scooped your daughter into your arms, spinning her around in a hug. Ella’s babysitter stood in the doorway with a smile on her face, watching your toddler tell you about her day.

You walked over to the older lady, smiling back apologetically. “I’m sorry to ask this, but I completely forgot that I had promised a co-worker to go out with them tonight. Would it be any hassle for you to keep her a little longer?”

“Of course not.” The sitter waved her hand and you set down Ella, who skipped to her room to play.

“Thank you so much,” You sighed, “I promise you’ll be compensated.”

She only laughed and turned to go into your daughter’s room, leaving you to head to yours.

You began getting ready, but you had to pause, feeling anxiety sink into your chest. It had been a while since you'd had feelings for someone and while this evening may be a casual, platonic outing to Kaeya, it was nothing less than nerve-wracking for you.

Was it platonic, though? Kaeya was always quite the flirter with you- but he was like that with others, too, wasn’t he? Was this a simple co-worker get-together, or was he picking you up from your house for a potential date?

Wait, picking you up from your house?

Kaeya was coming over to get you. To walk with you to the tavern.

You internally panicked. Ella always cried before you left and today was probably no exception. You weren’t ready for him to know about your daughter yet. That was something for when you were 100% sure he wouldn’t be weirded out. He wouldn’t, you were sure, but your nerves definitely told you otherwise.

“Miss Y/N? There’s someone at the door.”

You froze in your spot for a second, but thanked the babysitter and rushed to the front door.

“Hello little one.”

“My mommy’s in her room getting ready!”

“Oh, is she now? She’s getting all prettied up?”

“Mommy’s already pretty!”

“Aha, yes she is.”

You couldn’t help but wince at the sound of Ella and Kaeya’s voices. All secrets were out the window now, you supposed. You came to the doorway and scooped Ella into your arms, giving Kaeya a weary smile.

“I’m sorry for making you wait, I’m ready when you are.”

Kaeya chuckled, “Let’s go, then. I do believe that we have a lot to talk about now.”

You sighed and put your daughter down, giving her a kiss on the forehead before following Kaeya to the tavern. The walk was silent, but your mind wasn’t. You were dreading whatever “talk” Kaeya had mentioned, already fearing the worst. He’s a rather liberated man- there’s no way he’d be interested in a girl with a kid, right? That would tie him down too much.

Your panic attack was cut short as Kaeya entered the tavern and loudly greeted the people inside, leading you to a seat in the corner of the room. You sat silently, fiddling with your fingers and avoiding Kaeya’s gaze.

“So, when were you gonna tell anyone?” His voice made you look up.

“I mean, Jean and Lisa know...”

“And I didn’t? I thought we were close, Y/N.” There was an obvious joking tone to his voice, but you still felt a sharp pain in your heart. You felt guilty.

“I just don’t want a lot of people knowing of Ella. It gets complicated, especially being an adventurer with some enemies. Friendships can get complicated, too.” And relationships, you refrained from saying. “Please don’t see me any differently-“

“See you any differently? Why would I do that?” Kaeya furrowed his eyebrows. “I already adore having one of you around, so it’s even better that you’ve got a cute little mini-me running around too. I understand it gets hard, but you’ve got Jean and Lisa, and now me, to help you out. I’ve only met her once, but I love her already.”

Your chest warmed at his words and you gave him a small smile. Kaeya returned it and looked down at the table, reaching towards your hand and giving it a tight squeeze. “There are no ill feelings towards you just because of that. Some people aren’t too supportive of single parents, but that’s not who I am. Anything you need, you can count on Kaeya to help.”

“Thank you...”

You squeezed his hand back and he beckoned a waiter over. The evening was spent drinking and laughing, never once releasing hands.

[thisnoodlewritesao3]

Please Don't Say Goodbye | Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Reader, Yamaguchi Tadashi

Pairings: Tsukishima Kei/Reader

Warnings: light swearing, crying, implied panic attacks, arguments, yelling, ummm lemme know if I missed anything

Word Count: 2181

A/N: This was meant to be a drabble- okay, in my defence, I've had such writers block and apparently the feels were necessary soooo. This is 1 of 2 fic ideas that were sent to me by @satan-ruler-of-hells for a prompt thing I did (idk if I can find the thing) and the next one is Tendou. So, maybe get ready for more feels of my almost 5 am angst. I also did not proof-read this, sooooo

--------

How had things ended up like this?

Every little thing was like the calm before the storm - the most tense calm that had ever existed; you were walking on eggshells, and maybe so was he, but you couldn’t help it. At least, you thought you couldn’t. Each attempt to try and fix the mess around you only ended up in more heartbreak.

The storm that always seemed to be headed in your direction had tore apart the home you’d meticulously built together. Plates and picture frames shattered to the ground; glass leaving you walking on bleeding feet. The flowers of your love torn apart somewhere in the distance now. Breath stolen from your lungs, but not from those kisses he’d give you back in high school, not from the way he’d dance with you around his bedroom (only to shove you onto the bed when his brother barged in), not from your outrageous laughter at something stupid that had happened. This was a breath stolen from countless nights arguing, screaming, trying to gain the upper hand in a situation where you were both at a standstill. A breath stolen from your heaving words as you scrunch your hands into your roots, pull your legs close to your chest and shove yourself into a corner while he slammed the door and left to God knows where. Breath stolen from the realization that maybe things just weren’t working like they used to, and that it was okay to love him, but to not be in love with him.

Tonight was just another picture perfect example of why you weren’t meant to be together. You’d come home late from work (because of some stupid assignment that you just wanted to finish today). He was sitting on the couch, scrolling through Netflix for something to watch. Honestly, you just wanted to eat something, so you didn’t bother greeting him, but the moment he noticed your presence in the house, he was hot on your tail.

“Where were you?” His voice sharp as daggers, digging under your skin and tearing you apart piece by piece. His arms are crossed over his chest, eyes so judgmental you feel like you’re in court. Nothing you say is the right answer, so you choose to not say anything. Apparently, that wasn’t the right answer either - this you find out when his iron grip settles on your shoulder and forces you to turn around.

“Hey-” you winced, trying to pry his fingers off.

“Where were you?” He repeated, basically growling at you through his gritted teeth.

“I was at work.” You rolled your eyes, turning your attention back towards the fridge, trying to ease the beating of your heart. In, hold, out. You repeat to yourself, barely remembering what all those instagram therapists had told you.

He scoffed, finally releasing his grip in favor of slamming the fridge door shut, “really? Because the last time I checked, your work ended two hours ago. What could you possibly have been doing for two whole hours?” He was in your face now, making you know how pissed he was.

But you already knew. You’d always known. Why did he need to try and make it so blindingly obvious to you?

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Kei, I was working. What part of that is so hard to understand?” You snapped back, moving away from him with a heavy sigh. At this point, you didn’t bother holding back the venom in your words. You knew he had issues (and you knew why) but did that mean he should take it out on you? No. Fuck.

“Two hours! Y/N, I was waiting two hours. I was going to take us to dinner, we were going to have a nice time.” He followed after you, closing every cupboard door you opened, trying to get your attention. “But you didn’t even send me a text. Were you too busy fuck-”

“Oh my God!” You yelled over him, spinning around to face him with your pure unfiltered aggression.

Back and forth you went for what felt like hours. Tears were acid down your cheeks, your spit a very special concoction of venom just for him. And yet, even as you were dry heaving in the kitchen sink, yelling more obscenities at him, you could never seem to stop. Neither could he.

Tsukishima Kei was known for a lot of things, being an asshole was one of them. That you knew too well.

For a while, though, things were good. He loved you. You loved him.

As he sits there, accusing you over and over of cheating on him, even though you hadn’t and you wouldn’t. God.

When had he become so anxious and persistent that things were going wrong? Yes, they were going wrong, but not for the reasons he keeps saying. It’s driving you insane, to the point where you can’t even remember those stupid breathing techniques, or grounding techniques, or anything.

This argument had lost the plot at some point around when he started yelling at you for doing the dishes wrong (you still insisted there wasn’t a wrong way to do them). So you bit back that his clothes were stupid, or that dinosaurs were stupid, something. Something was stupid.

“If you have so many problems with the way I choose to live my life, then get the fuck out.” You screamed, slamming your fists down onto the table and pointing to the door. His expression was scrunched up into something completely unrecognizable - a fine mixture of hatred and anguish. His chest rising and falling so rapidly you’re amazing he’s still standing. His hair is a complete and utter mess, so many times he’d ran his hand through it to try and make sense of the nonsense you were both spouting.

“Fine, I will!” He yelled back, voice hoarse from the past two hours.

You watched him head towards the door without a second thought, grabbing his coat, shoving his shoes on. You didn’t have the energy to call out after him, no matter how much your heart begged you to.

And your heart did beg you to; but it had already accepted that the end had been coming for too long.

You lean back against one of the cupboards, looking up at that one crack in the ceiling that he’d insisted he’d get around to fixing but something had always come up.

If you had to say what was wrong in your relationship, it would just be something. Something was wrong, and neither of you knew what it was, but something would be your downfall. Something filled the air with poison and made you destined to hate each other; something danced around in your words and twisted the meaning; something caressed your cheek as tears fell.

Something was your downfall and you didn’t have the energy to fight it.

So, maybe you’d call in sick the next day, and your boss would believe you because your voice sounded like hell; and maybe you’d spend the entire day lying in bed despite the fact your stomach was beginning for some nutrients; and maybe it would feel good to not have that nagging voice that you shouldn’t sleep in all day.

But today would have felt nicer with him by your side.

If there was one thing Tsukishima Kei was good at (after a lot of practice), it was making you feel just a little bit better with his empty promises and sweet nothings.

So, maybe you’d dressed yourself in his shirt and breath in him; and maybe you’d grab that dinosaur plushie you’d bought him for his birthday so many years ago and pull it to your chest; maybe you’d sleep on his side of the bed even though his pillow wasn’t as fluffy as yours; and maybe, just maybe, you watched his favourite movie on repeat, hoping it would bring him back to you.

Those were all maybe’s. But maybe they did happen, and you wanted nothing more than to be in his arms and tease him for his glasses that he insisted were cool. Or to have him laugh at you for the fact you majored in literature, despite the fact you weren’t good with words.

When your phone rang, you didn’t hesitate in picking it up, almost too excited for his voice, “Kei-”

“Y/N…” Yamaguchi’s voice was soft, understanding. It killed your fire of excitement in an instant.

You listened to him talk, something about how Tsukishima had decided you needed a break and would be staying at his place for a little while. Something about how he still loved you, but he didn’t want to keep hurting you like this.

It wasn’t a surprise that you didn’t manage to keep it together and broke out crying all over again, basically screaming and begging for things to be okay. There was no doubt in your mind, if Tsukishima was in the room with Yamaguchi, then he’d heard your cries.

“I’ll be better…” you whimpered, after far too long, “I’ll be nice. A-and… I won’t make fun of his glasses. Or dinosaurs. Please… please, Yamaguchi, please tell him to come home!” You cried out, unsure if you even managed to breathe.

He was silent on the line. You couldn’t take it. The silence, you wanted the noise. You’d prefer the arguing over this.

“I’m sorry…” Yamaguchi said weakly, and you knew how much it was hurting him to say this.

He hung up the phone and you were left as a shell of yourself.

And yet, your life must go on. So, for two months, you pushed your problems to the side and kept dredging forward in the hope that the answer to your problems was in one of these articles. Hoping that your co-worker would tell you some shitty anecdote that would distract you for just a little while.

Yo couldn’t look at your apartment anymore, not as little pieces of him were still littered everywhere.

Only, one day, you came home and he wasn’t anywhere. You didn’t notice it, not at first, but then you saw his mug from your museum visit in his third year of high school wasn’t next to your matching one. And then neither were his books on the shelf in your living room, or under the coffee table. His clothes gone from the closet. Every inch. Every detail. Every bit of him you had left had disappeared in the span of one work day.

And you were left with nothing.

With as much energy as you could muster, you turned and ran in the general direction of Yamaguchi’s house (which was hopeless, considering you had the directional capability of a broken compass and the stamina of a dead horse). You really were hopeless as you dialed his number, ignoring the way the moon taunted you in the sky.

He answered, for whatever reason, and you let out a breath. “What is it?” His tone was even, but something told you he was barely holding it together.

“Is this it?” Was all you could say. Head dizzy as you looked for Yamaguchi’s house - which you just knew was somewhere around here.

“It’s been it for a long time.” He really sounded robotic, like he was reading from a script.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Your voice broke as you ran, ignoring the splintering pain in the balls of your feet, “you thought making Yamaguchi say you needed a break, and then disappearing for two months, and then only reappearing to take your things back was the answer?” You cried out.

“You know-” his voice cracked and he stopped speaking. God, it hurt you so much.

“I never wanted this.” Tears were pouring down your cheeks.

“You think I did?”

“No-”

“I tried, Y/N, I tried so hard. But you would never listen to me!”

“I tried too, Kei!” You tried not to yell, and you hoped that it worked.

Some miracle brought you to Yamaguchi’s door, the one you only recognized because of the little frog statue on the windowsill. You pressed the doorbell, hoping for the best.

“I tried because I loved you. And I waited for you, I waited and hoped you’d come back. I-” you ran your hands through your hair once again. “I know we aren’t the best, that something is always wrong, but we can work on this. We can… fuck, I don’t know. You were the smart one…” he let out a low chuckle laced with pain. “But we can work something out, can’t we?”

There was a pause, and Yamaguchi opened the door, shocked to see you. Your breath hitched but neither of you spoke.

“I… I can’t do this anymore…” he admitted, and you felt your heart shatter. “Y/N, this is it…”

You could see Tsukishima pacing in the living room just down the hall, and you know Yamaguchi knows you’ve seen him. His phone pulled away from his face, finger shaking over that familiar red button.

“Please don’t say goodbye…” you called out.

--------

General Taglist:

@pies-writes-and-more​ @satan-ruler-of-hells @dekuspet @samkysnks @tobi-momo @kaleidoscopekai @elektrosonix @realcube @darkvadeeer

If you want to be added to the taglist, send a DM or an ask :D

[catboyshinsou]

jazz from heaven

pairing: aizawa x gn!reader

warnings: stress mention, panic attack mention, crying

word count: 1800

summary: after a stressful week, reader drives to aizawa’s apartment at 2am for comfort

Footsteps echoed in the never ending staircase, mocking you for your late night visit. Quick, shaky breaths left you as you reached the top floor. You had always hated the position of his apartment, in the middle of the city and on the top floor. It made going in and out easier for hero work since he could use the roof to enter and leave without making too much of a fuss. After climbing the mountain of stairs that was understandable but in this very moment, you hated that he lived here with every fiber of your being.

It was a quiet saturday morning. For once the streets were empty, even the high end villains would be sleeping by now. Everyone was asleep but you. You had made your way to your boyfriend's apartment at 3am and hoped for the love of everything that's holy that he was awake.

Of course as a teacher and pro, he was bound to be awake to grade or just coming back from patrol. It was the weekend of course and you'd normally hope

he was getting some rest but now you needed him awake. Just awake enough to give you a hug.

You knocked on the door, the sounds echoing in the halls. One, two, three.

You chewed on your lip and pulled on your fingers while you waited for an answer. Maybe it was too quiet? Maybe he was sleeping?

With a knot in your throat, you stood in front of the wood door, sniffing quietly. The week had been rough, today being the worst it's been in a while. You hadn't seen Shouta in a week. UA gave him more work than he usually had, especially since he was a homeroom teacher again. Of course you guys had kept in touch through texts and calls but right now you needed the real thing. You didn't want to be the clingy s/o, even if you've wanted to come by every day this week.

On Monday, when customers had yelled at you all day long you just wanted to sink into his arms.

On Tuesday, when weird guys chatted you up on the street and didn't leave until you dared to call someone.

On Wednesday, when you met old friends and they pointed out how much happier you seemed back in the day and how much you've lost your smile.

On Thursday, when you overthought yourself into an extensive panic attack in your bedroom.

Friday had been the worst. You almost immediately started bawling once you got home from an extra shift at work, barely being able to hold yourself for a couple of hours until the tears stopped. The next thing you could remember was being on your way to his place.

Your phone lit up the dark corridor, blue light shining onto your face. 'hey, it's me at your door’

Footsteps approached, dragging themselves over the wood floor. After a few seconds of unlocking the rather old door, Shouta opened and gave you an unamused look.

“It’s 2am, y/n.”

He had a towel throw over his shoulders, his damp hair falling on it. The usual hero jumpsuit was nowhere to be seen, his pink sweatpants instantly catching your eye. Paired with a washed out and too big shirt, he looked about bed ready even if you knew he wouldn’t be sleeping for another hour or two. Warm air came from behind him, you smelling the shampoo Mic had recommended him a few weeks ago.

“I know… I’m sorry…” You breathed out while walking into his apartment. Your eyes glued to the floor, a shaky breath escaped you as you took off your shoes.

The pro’s eyes softened. His confusion turned into concern, reminding himself that your late night visits usually had a reason. 

You stood back up and took another deep breath. Guilt washed over you when you remembered that you showed up at Shouta’s door at 2am, when he was probably exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. Your cheeks burned as he walked past you into the living room, one of the only light sources except from the bathroom behind you. 

Shouta had just gotten done with the last grades, the pile of graded papers neatly next to his mug of tea and all of his work stuff. He wanted to finish school stuff up, even if patrol had worn him out, so that he could completely relax on the upcoming weekend.

“Sorry for not calling more, I’ve been really busy with school…” He walked past you and put away the stacks of paperwork, so that the cat didn’t have her fun with them if she came home overnight. “Kids can be such a pain, I don’t know why I agreed to be a homeroom teacher.”

A few cars passed by, slow jazz coming from another apartment. It was a faint sound but just enough to push you to the edge. Lights flickered when you took another step into the apartment, as if you had just disrupted its peace. 

He huffed as he turned off the lights and got back to you. You who was still awkwardly standing in the corridor as if this was your first time at his place. You pulled on your fingers and just watched him put his stuff away. 

“Everything okay?” He stood in front of you now, a hand on your cheek and soft eyes looking into yours. Even if he wasn’t the most expressive with his own emotions, he had mastered yours. Something was wrong, even if you probably didn’t want to think about it. You probably still would either today or tomorrow but he didn’t want to inquire more.

With a gentle tug, he pulled you into his arms and pressed you close to him. His warmth surrounded you while he patted your head. Tears streamed down your face, silent sobs escaping you. You started shaking as the sobs got more violent, Shouta just holding you and stroking your back. 

“Oh, y/n…”

The tears soaked into his black t-shirt, your arms wrapped around him as you heaped. Keeping your low as low as possible, it was still 2am after all, you felt his steady breath against you. It made you feel safe, as if nothing could happen to you anymore.

Shouta didn’t know why you showed up to cry. But after working with a lot of different people, including teenagers and kids, he knew that this wasn’t the appropriate time to ask. What you needed was a no judgement zone and comfort.

With the last tears flowing, you started regulating your breath again. Your boyfriend noticed your deepening breaths, holding you even closer.

“That’s right, just deep breaths…” With a low whisper, he gave you kisses on your forehead as you did just that.

You sniffed and took a shaky breath as you buried your face in his shoulder. With a tightened grip on him, you just took him in and waited for the uneasy feeling to leave your system. You still trembled, trying to hold back the tears that dared to spill again. It was enough crying for today. In fact, you had cried enough for a lifetime this past week. Shouta was probably exhausted too, he didn’t need more to worry about.

Of course, he noticed your struggle. If one of you pulled another closer, you would practically merge so he felt the way you trembled and how your breath still wasn’t regulated. In moments like these, he wished he could do more. Somehow make you realise that everything would be okay and you could let it out here without being a burden to him. But he could only hold you like this while reassuring you in every way he could.

“Do you want to go to bed? A tea before?” 

You shook your head and let go of him. Your head banged and your eyes burned. With the collar of your shirt you wiped away the trail of tears on your cheeks, the fabric irritating your eyes even more.

“Let’s go to bed then…” He tugged you into his bedroom and opened his drawer to give you something warmer to sleep in. 

The room was neater than you expected. How did he find the time to keep everything so tidy if he was barely home? His laundry was folded and stacked on his bed, the school stuff on his desk with his laptop. The only other mess here was his bed with half torn off sheets and different pillows and blankets all over. You smiled at his little chaos before plopping onto it.

“C’mon, wear that.” He tossed one of his sweaters at you, which you somehow caught before it landed in your face. “It’s gonna be getting colder.”

Without questioning him, you just changed into it. The fabric felt soft on your skin, you could tell it was fresh out of the machine. It smelt like fabric softener, the one that only he had because he ran his errands in those 24/7 shops after patrols and those were somehow the only ones that carried this brand. You couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it smelled like so it was just Shouta. One of those things you would always connect with him like cats and pink sweatpants.

You looked over at his desk, an extra picture frame of what you guessed was his new class on it. It was too far away for you to see the individual faces but they seemed like an interesting group already.

Shouta sighed and let himself fall next to you. “Wanna talk about what happened?”

With a deep breath you shook your head and rolled over to face him. Your head still ached, you couldn’t speak if you wanted to. Your throat hurt, the knot completely tying off your words.

He took you into his arms and pulled the blanket over your shoulders. “Want me to talk?”

You nodded into his chest and took another deep breath. This was what you had needed over the week. His presence, his touch, his voice. They were natural tranquilizers for you, reassurances that everything would be okay. 

“Nezu gave me class 1-A, can you believe that?” His hands were on the nape of your neck, his thumb caressing behind your ear. “I had them do a fitness test on the first day… I watched them during the entrance exam and I just wasn’t fully convinced… Remember the kid I told you about that just got in through rescue points? And the one that only got in with villain points? Yeah, they’re both in my class and it’s more than obvious that they don’t get along well… They’ve all got interesting quirks, it’s a pretty colourful group and I’m... interested how they’re gonna train them...”

Both of you started getting sleepier with every word he said. He ended up slurring his words as he yawned before silence fell. There was still the jazz playing from somewhere outside, cars passing by occasionally. You hicked a few breaths but Shouta made sure to hold you closer and whisper reassuring words when you did.

“Can I stay here for the weekend?” You croaked right before falling asleep.

“You’re always welcome here, y/n…”

[capaimagines]

lee hoseok - a little jealousy

Pairing: Lee Hoseok x Reader | Genre: angst & fluff | Warnings: mentions of cheating, very minor panic attack | WC: 1.2k

Request: Yay! Soo I wanted to know if I can request a scenario where wonho's girlfriend thinks Wonho is cheating on her with the female dancer from with you because she catches them dancing way too intimately? that is only if your comfortable with it :) Thank you!

Deciding to surprise your boyfriend today with lunch had added a little extra pep in your step. You hadn’t seen him much lately due to schedules and missed him dearly. He was preparing for his comeback again, which was only in a few weeks to come. You were excited for him and you knew he was more than excited but you also knew and you had that fear that he was working his ass off, maybe even too much. An impromptu lunch date you hoped would give him a little more energy for the day.

Packing away the lunch boxes, you happily stepped outside and made your way to his company. You had asked him this time around not to let you hear or see anything prior to the comeback because you wanted to be genuinely surprised just like the rest of his fans. He was more than happy to comply, even getting permission from you to be present at his first music show once the comeback started. Which you agreed instantly.

For some reason, as you walked into the company, you couldn't help but get butterflies in your stomach. You hadn’t surprised him like this before and you were also a little nervous, hoping you weren’t about to interrupt and intense practice or anything. You heard the music coming from down the hall and your face lit up with a smile as you made your way towards the door.

You knocked a few times but with how loud the sound was, you doubt he would have been able to hear you. You quietly opened the door a bit, slipping inside. He hadn’t noticed you come in yet. Then, you saw the backup dancer come out and start dancing with him. It was far too intimate for your mind to be rational and while in the back of your head you knew they were both acting, the way they smiled at each other and stared into each other’s eyes made ice fill your veins and your heart drop.

She had tripped over something and Wonho had caught her by the waist. In reality, he was literally just keeping her from smacking down onto the wooden floor, but when she giggled up at him and smiled while he smiled and laughed back, you dropped the bags in your hand. They landed on the floor with a loud thud, causing everyone’s eyes to turn to you.

Wonho’s mouth fell slightly, but then he brightened up, walking towards you. He was excited to see you, “Baby! This is such a nice—Y/N?!” You didn’t let him finish as you spun on your heels and power walked out the door and down the hallway. Your thoughts were a mess and the only logical thing your brain could conjure up at the moment was that he was cheating on you. With her. With the beautiful back up dancer.

You felt your breath coming in quick pants and were grateful to see the bathroom. You ran in, leaning against the wall and sliding down, letting the silent sobs take over. Maybe that’s why he hasn’t been coming home until late. He was in the studio. With her. Getting all chummy and dancing like that.

You jumped as the bathroom door swung open, revealing a very worried looking Wonho. First, you were shocked that he had just barged into the women’s restroom. Then, your anger took over and you stood up, hitting his chest with your hands, “How could you?! I thought you loved me!” He caught your wrists in his hands, frowning and feeling very confused.

You sunk back down to your knees, Wonho following you to the floor as you cried, “I came to surprise with lunch! Because I missed you! Then I come here and see you grinding up on some girl and flirting with her! Am I—am I not enough for you anymore?!” Wonho’s eyes went wide as his grip tightened slightly around your wrists.

“Y/N,” He said gently, “It's just the choreography. There is nothing going on. You’re more than enough for me and you always have been. I only love you," You stared up at him with tear-stained cheeks as he gently wiped some away, "Besides, she’s married. She has been since before she started working here."

Oh. Now you felt stupid.

You let out a nervous laugh as Wonho pulled you into his arms, kissing your temple, “I love you, Y/N. I would never hurt you like that," You sniffled and looked up at him with a timid grin.  

“I must look like a dramatic mess, huh?” You teased and he laughed, nodding his head.  

“Maybe just a little, but with no context, I probably would have reacted the same way. Or punched them.”

That made you laugh as you stood up, “So, you brought us lunch?” He said with a wide smile and you nodded, dabbing your cheeks, “Let’s go eat. I’ve missed you,' He grabbed your hand and led you back towards the practice room. His grip on your hand was tight and before you entered back into the room, he pushed you against the wall and pressed his lips to yours.  

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you jealous," He whispered in your ear and you instinctively pulled on his shirt to bring him flush against your body.

“Let’s eat!” He said with one more kiss before winking at you, “I’ll be expecting my dessert when I get home," You felt your cheeks burn hot as you followed him into the room.

Maybe a little jealousy never hurt, and if you were going to get this kind of reaction out of him, maybe you’d start to play a few games. You trusted him, and that’s what you had to remember. That he loved you and only you.

[kz-i-co]

Bad Temper

» Request: "Ok, so I was thinking of a One-shot about Reader and Wonho. The reader is part of their make-up team and she and Wonho have confessed to each other that they have mutual feelings, but that they cannot be together due to the circumstances of ruining their professional connections. And they decide to act like nothing happens and hope things just go back to normal. But one day Wonho snaps, because he thinks she is too flirty with Minhyuk and too close to Shownu, and confronts her about it. She gets angry and agues that she feels like Minhyuk is her smaller, Ray of sunshine brother and Shownu is just a very chill shoulder she can count on. That is where Wonho starts feeling bad about what he said and mentally slaps himself. He just destroyed anything he could possibly have with her and doesn't know how to fix it." - BlueOzzyD

» Pairing: Wonho x Reader

» Genre: angst x fluff

» Words: 2.1k

» A/N: PROOF OF HOW BACKED UP I AM WITH MY REQUEST (so embarrassed).......I got this request back when Wonho was still apart of monsta x. I know I'm sorry :( I only have a few left and I promise I'm still working on them. I haven't forgotten anyone.

» m.list | MX masterlist

-

"Okay take 5." The director spoke as the boys stepped off set.

You and the rest of the makeup artist began to wipe off any excess sweat from their face as the boys started to drink water. Wonho eyed you as you wiped off sweat from Minhyuk.

"Great dancing." You winked.

"Thanks (Y/N)." He smiled still trying to catch his breath.

You pulled out another wipe, patting down Minhyuk's sweaty face. He always had to make your job difficult by moving around.

"Great now you messed me up." You pouted going for another wipe not realizing there was no more. "I need to get more. Be right back."

You went to the storage room quickly and jumped from the sound of the door shutting behind you.

"I need to talk to you." Wonho spoke causing you to stress.

"Can't this wait until later? You guys have to be back on set in 3 minutes."

"Can we go out tonight? I'm off for the night."

You looked at him annoyed taking a deep breath, pulling your mask down. "You know we can't."

"Come on, I promise somewhere private." He begged.

"No I told you we can't. I already got a warning for "wandering off". If they find out, you and I would be screwed."

"I can't get you out of my mind." He leaned in closer.

"Try harder." You grabbed the pack and left him alone.

You hated seeing him so hurt but there was nothing you could do. You both signed a contract of no dating when you started this job. Wonho was at a successful level when it came to his career and you couldn't be the cause of it ending.

-

You were cleaning your brushes while you had some time before the boys came in. Nothing better then your favorite tunes playing in your ears while you had some alone time.

But your alone time didn't last long as you felt strong arms wrap around you, lift you up as you were spun in circles. You felt shaken as the sudden attack had you frightened from being unaware.

Once you were put down you looked up at your victims laughing only causing you to punch him weakly. "You ever do that again Shownu, I will end you."

You looked passed him as the other boys were watching and you couldn't help but notice Wonho's annoyed expression.

"I thought you were taking off today?"

"Change of plans." You shrugged. "Besides I don't want to miss the rest of your shooting."

"Thank god, and if I'm being honest..." Shownu leaned down closer. "I think you're the best artist here."

.....

"Okay last but not least, sit in my chair buff bunny." You said causing the other guys to laugh except the bunny himself.

"Guys you need to get into costume." The manager came in.

"I just need to finish Wonho's makeup real quick." You spoke as the rest of the guys already got up.

"Okay. No problem."

As soon as you two were alone, you were expecting Wonho to hit on you again but nothing. Nothing but silence.

"What's wrong with you?" You asked as he was blank from you doing his makeup.

He shrugged his shoulders silently.

"You're gonna make me pry."

"I just see how you are with the guys and then you ignore me. It makes me feel like I'm a jerk."

"I ignore you because I'm afraid of what might come out of my mouth." You shrugged. "We're both struggling here."

He grabbed you so you were leaning into him. "Please just give this a chance."

"I can't." You whispered as he came closer about to brush his lips against yours.

Before you could pull away, he desperately collided with you. Ever since the first time you hooked up, you felt like you were suffocating from hiding away your feelings.

He grabbed your thighs, pulling you up into his lap as the kiss deepened by the second. His hands comfortably cradled your bottom, locking you in place.

He pulled away quickly and made his way down your neck, already pampering your skin.

"Wonho?" You heard Jooheon at the door.

"Fuck." You jumped off his lap and quickly started to panic. You pulled up your mask turning away from Wonho as Jooheon opened the door.

"We're going on."

"Be right there." You didn't turn towards them as you lowered your head in shame. "(Y/N)-"

"Stop. This can't happen again." You wiped your single tear. You couldn't lose this job, you couldn't.

-

The boys were lounging in the back and Minhyuk grabbed you forcing you to sit on his lap. He wrapped his arms around you as he thanked the staff for making the shoot close to perfect. "Can you come to my house and do my makeup every day."

"Or I can just teach you how to do it yourself." You looked at him amused.

"(Y/N)....I need to talk to you now." Wonho got up annoyed and you immediately turned your head. "Please."

"What's the matter?" Shownu asked alarmed from the situation.

"It's fine Shownu. I just know how the buff bunny gets if I forget to replace his shakes."

"You make her do that?" Shownu asked.

"Don't worry, it's my job to serve for you guys." You got up following Wonho into the back.

"You can't act like that in front of everyone. They'll know what's up." You said as soon as you were alone.

"What is up with you and Minhyuk?" He asked.

"You're kidding me right?"

"No, I've seen the way you act with him....the way you two flirt together-"

"That's bullshit-"

"The way you two cuddle."

"You're so freaking-"

"And don't think I haven't notice Shownu. What happened the other night when I wanted to spend time with you and you didn't feel good - but then I found out from Shownu you were with him."

"I thought maybe it was nothing but how am I suppose to feel when you're hugging him after each take."

"You are seriously so stupid." You said upset.

"Is this what you do (Y/N), you lead guys on and just use them."

"You are such a jerk." You cried and walked out of the room.

You didn't know where this was coming from. Why was he acting this way? He was twisting everything.

-

The next few days you stayed away from the company until they granted you a transfer.

"Have you seen (Y/N)?" Shownu asked their manager. "We haven't seen her all week."

"She decided to leave the company."

"What?" Shownu said alarmed as Wonho stood up in shock.

He was quick to leave the room and make his way out of the building, taking the first taxi to your apartment, not even caring to let anyone know. He knocked on your door but it was clear you weren't home. He sat on your steps as he pulled his phone out trying to reach you but it went straight to voicemail.

He couldn't help but run his fingers through his hair frustrated. This was all his fault, he felt. He pushed you away when he was jealous and ignorant.

You sighed as you tugged your heavy purse along, crossing out your last number of the day. Your eyes glanced to your steps seeing Wonho look up suddenly alarmed and confused.

"What are you doing here?" You asked confused.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" He asked first.

"Because I blocked your number."

"Oh." He looked down. "I'm sorry for what I said."

"Thanks." You said sarcastically as you walked passed him unlocking your door.

"Let me help you." He reached for your book that had addresses crossed out as you struggled holding your keys. "You didn't have to leave the company." He noticed that you were job searching.

"Well I was transferred to cube and their management sucks so....-"

"No I mean.....please come back. I was wrong and stupid."

"You know what. Not only was I risking my job for you but to think I was hooking up with Minhyuk AND Shownu. That's pretty pathetic."

"I know and I'm sorry. I just snapped from how you were so open with them and I was jealous."

"You were jealous for nothing. They're like my brothers Wonho. It's obvious I liked you and I was afraid of getting caught."

"Liked?" He said his voice dropping.

"Well.....you hurt me."

"Please forgive me."

You sighed again as you finally got your door open, inviting him inside. "I'm not going back to starship, so don't bother begging me."

"Then let me at least help you find something else, I'll help you with money."

"I don't need your dumb idol reputation to help me find a job. No one's hiring at the moment, that's all."

He followed you to your kitchen. "You haven't touched your wine since that night?" He glanced over to your counter with a tall red wine bottle a quarter full.

Your eyes drifted to where he was referring to. "I don't usually drink so I have no interest in finishing it."

"What about now?" He asked stepping closer to you and you were quick to stop him. "Please."

"What part of no, do you not understand?" You shook your head.

"I understand that if you're not part of the company, what else is standing in our way."

"You don't get to come into my apartme-" He closed your lips with his.

It only took you a second to pull away and push him as far away from you as you could. "You're a jerk."

He looked at you as he was making you feel guilty but yet sensual. He placed his hand where you pushed him and tugged on the button that was already coming undone. You stared frustrated as he knew what he was doing to you. You wanted him and that was clear.

"I know." He whispered close to you as he came closer. "I'm sorry."

"Please go." You whispered.

"Would it help to say I'm im love with you?" He asked only a centimeter away from filling the space.

"You're not."

"I am."

"No because-" He pulled you into him once again not breaking the kiss as sudden.

You hummed to break away but he was quick to shut you down. The kiss grew more desperate the more you let him take control. You were defeated by this point. You loved him too, you always had but the circumstances were far from acceptable but now that you were out of the job, maybe your fantasy could become a reality.

"Please take me back." He broke away from the kiss as you finally could catch your breath.

"I'll support you....support us." He practically begged.

"I can't just not work."

"Then I'll find you something....just give me some time."

"But if you're caught dating at all, you'll-"

"I know. But you're more important." He gently brushed his lips against yours.

"I can't let you do that."

"Then we'll keep it a secret." He was clearly not letting you go.

"Ok." You softly smiled confirming, sending him kissing you once again but with more passion. He lifted you up, gently sitting you on the counter as the kiss grew deeper by the second.

"Please let me take care of you." He kissed down your neck and you nodded in acceptance. He lifted you up once again carrying you to your bedroom.

"I promise.....I'll make you happy." Was the last thing he said before closing your bedroom door and giving you a night to remember.

Sure, you had regrets....but you loved him and he loved you. It was just the risk you had to play with. Is love really worth it?

[electronicgrowth]

Can’t Get Enough Part 5

Billie has lost her virginity! Where is this relationship headed? 

This has just been chilling in drafts... I forgot I was a person there for a moment. I apologize.

Summary: The two most stubborn people in Knockemstiff, Ohio have eyes for only each other. Lee Bodecker is determined to become the town’s next sheriff. He knows that image is everything. Billie Dechswaan doesn’t care about her image at all. All she wants is to leave Knockemstiff and never come back. But Lee has other plans for her. Both are far too stubborn to give up their own plans. What happens when they can’t get enough of each other?

Word Count: 2.3k

After losing her virginity, Billie can’t get enough of Lee. When he’s inside her, she promises him all the things he wants. But they fight about her wanting leave. She’s still adamant about moving away, despite her attack. Lee tries desperately to reason with her. But she won’t hear it. Lee feels his time running out as the days in June and July come and go. He makes the decision for them one day. He pokes holes in every single condom. He feels slightly guilty, but Bille needs to realizes how much she needs him. 

All the arguing comes to a head one night in mid-August. Billie snuck out like she did most nights and met up with Lee. She quickly slide into the car and kissed him. It was a Wednesday night and they hadn’t seen each other since the church service on Sunday. Billie had spent most of the time between services chatting with Lee, instead of helping to serve luncheon, and this behavior was not missed by the church ladies. 

Rumors were flying. Everyone was wondering when Lee would finally make Billie his wife. Many were saying that it was bound to happen before the next election. She’d be sherif’s wife by Christmas, the gossip said. Edna, the police station secretary made the mistake of asking Lee and relaying all the gossip. It got him thinking. He was going to broach the idea with Billie. He had to. He already had a ring anyway. 

Before Lee could even start the car and drive away. Billie was kissing his neck. 

“Did you miss me, baby?” He teased. Pulling her closer to him. 

“I always miss you,” she scoffed, straddling his hips. 

“I missed you too,” he murmured against her lips. She ran her tongue against his. 

“You know,” he began, pulling back from the kiss, “You don’t have to miss me.” 

“What do you mean?” Billie giggled, staring at him, “I always miss you when you’re not around.” 

“I mean, you could miss me less,” Lee said. Billie’s smile dropped a bit. 

“What are talking about, honey?” She asked. 

“If we live together, we would see each other everyday. Wake up together, go to bed together,” he hummed, kissing her neck between each phrase. 

“Lee,” she scolded, pulling away from him. 

“Come on baby,” he huffed, “Be mine. Be mine forever. And don’t give me that whole song and dance about leaving. You want to be with me and I want to be with you. I could give you everything. Just let me.” 

“We’ve talked about this, I want to be independent for a while,” Billie grumbled. 

“Billie, come on. We’ve been together practically everyday for months. Why do you have to independent? You want to get married and have kids right?” He asked. 

“Of course, I do. But—“

“No. No buts. If you’re planning to have kids, you won’t be working that long anyway. So, pick the right man to have kids with. Pick me, baby,” Lee implored. Billie stared at him and slipped off his lap. 

“I was up front with you Lee. I told you I was going to leave and go to college. You knew that going in. I should go,” she whispered. Climbing out of the car. Lee ground his teeth before he got out of the car. 

“Billie,” he yelled, “get back here.” He stalked after her angrily. 

“Lee,” she sighed, turning to face him, “I can’t do this tonight. I can’t have this argument again.”

He gripped the tops of her arms, “What is it? Why won’t you marry me? Is there something I’m not doing? Are you embarrassed of me?”

“What?” She spat, “Of course not. You’re everything I want—“

“Then what is it? I love you, dammit,” he shouted. 

“Look, let’s just take a pause. We can talk tomorrow. We’re both upset,” she placated. 

“Fine,” he huffed, stalking back to his car and driving off before Billie had even reached the woods. Wheels spitting gravel, engine revving loudly as he drove away. Billie felt empty. What had she done? 

The next day the county fair started. It was the event of the summer. Everyone was there. And Billie was avoiding Lee after their fight the day before. But he spots her. She evades him all night. He finally corners her outside one of the livestock barns. 

“What is with you? You said we’d talk today and you’re fucking ignoring me,” He spat, shoving her against the barn and caging her in. Billie refuses to meet his gaze. Tears quickly well up and spill down her cheeks. 

“Baby,” he hums gently, “What’s wrong.” His hands move up to cup her face and his thumbs wipe the tears away. 

“Not here,” she shakes her head, “Let’s go for a drive.” 

“Alright,” Lee murmured. They walk silently to the cruiser and Lee drove a couple of miles down the road before he pulls off onto a side road. It’s not really a road, more like a trail in the woods that farmers use in the spring and summer as a short cut. 

Billie has tears running down her face. 

“Talk to me,” he begged. 

“I’m late,” she sobbed. It took Lee a few moments to catch on.

“Your period?”

“Yeah, I’m three weeks late. I thought it was just stress or something,” she cried, her voice breaking. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” he soothed, “I’ll take care of ya.” Lee’s heart is beating out of his chest with excitement, but he schools his features and voice to one of concern and anxiousness in order not to tip Billie off. 

“What are we gonna do?” She’s fully panicked now. Lee can hear that she’s nearly hyperventilating. 

“Shh, baby. You need to breathe, okay?” He said as he grabbed her face and forced her to look at him. She nodded slowly, breathing in and out steadily before Lee spoke again. 

“We have to tell your parents,” he began. Billie’s eyes grew comically large, she started to protest but Lee cut her off. 

“We’ll tell your parents. We’ll get married and no one will be the wiser. It’s okay,” he soothed, “I’ll be with you when you tell your parents. I promise I’ll take care of you.” His eyes shone with sincerity. 

“What… what if I’m not ready?” 

“You are. You’re perfect. Gonna take such good care of me and our baby,” Lee hummed as he kissed her. 

“Lee,” she protested. 

“Come on, sugar. You’ll be my good little housewife. I can’t wait to see you get round with my baby. You’re gonna look so sexy,” Lee groaned, he kissed from her lips to her neck as he spoke, “You’re all mine.” 

“Did you— did you plan this?” Billie asked, shoving him away. Lee narrowed his eyes at her. 

“It doesn’t matter how it happened. What’s done is done and you need me Billie,” he growled. Billie opened her mouth but no words came out. She was stunned. She shook her head back and forth, as she searched for the words. 

“You’re a bastard, Lee.” His jaw clicked from side to side when she said that. Without saying anything he started the car and drove. Billie didn’t question him on where they’re going. She knew she was in deep shit. It’s only when she sees the farmhouse come into view that she starts to panic. 

“No.”

“We’re telling your parents tonight.” 

“Lee, please don’t do this,” she begged. But he didn’t listen. 

“I wanted to be nice. I wanted to wait until after we got married. But you. You just couldn’t accept the nice future I had planned out for ya. So, if you want me to be the bastard, I will be. I’ll get you pregnant. Make you marry me.” He cut the engine and walked up to the house. Billie trudged behind him, she had no other choice. 

Lee knocked at the before Billie even reached him. Joy answered. 

“Deputy Bodecker,” she smiled, “To what do we owe the pleasure?” 

“Billie and I have something to tell you,” he said happily. What a master of disguise he was. He made Billie believe, really believe that he loved her and cared for her. But he showed his true colors the second she stopped listening to him. And now he’s wooing her mother. Making her believe he’s a nice, stand-up guy. Joy’s smile faltered when she realized the Billie was with Lee, but she let them both in all the same. Lee marched to the living room as if he owned the place. 

“John,” Joy called, “Lee and Billie want to talk to us.” John huffed, but turned the tv off. He gestured for Lee to sit. 

“Clara, why don’t you go upstairs,” Joy suggested. Clara was the only one of the children home. All the others were still at the fair. She nodded and walked away. Joy sat down, but Billie didn’t. 

“Honey,” Lee chuckled, “Come sit down.” She slowly went and sat by Lee. He was quick to wrap an arm around her. 

“She’s nervous,” he said, smile glued to his handsome face. 

“What’s going on?” John growled at Lee. 

“Billie is pregnant,” Lee responded. Joy gasped. John looked like a deer caught in headlights. Billie started crying again, and leaned forward to hide her face in her hands. Lee patted her back. 

“But, I don’t want ya’ll to worry,” Lee continued, “I’ll do right by her. I care for your daughter very much. We’re going to get married.” 

John harrumphed, “You can take her down to the courthouse tomorrow for all I care. I thought you knew better than to open your legs, girl. I know you’re mama taught you better than that.” 

“John,” Joy attempted to placate, “Let’s not be unkind. Lee is going to make this right.” 

“I don’t care if he can make it right. Your daughter is out there acting like a whore,” John roared standing up from his armchair. He crossed the room and slapped Billie across the face. 

“You have one week to get her out of my house,” John said to Lee, who looked up John and scowled. Billie couldn’t take one more minute, she jumped up and ran upstairs just as Sylvia walked through the door. If Sylvia was one thing, it was perceptive. She took one look at her father and Lee and chased after her sister. 

“Now get out of my house, Bodecker,” Lee narrowed his eyes, but obliged. He would make John pay for hitting Billie. 

Sylvia found Billie crying in a little ball on the floor. 

“What happened?” She asked her sister. 

“Lee g-got me pregnant and n-now I have to get married and I’m going to be stuck here in this stupid town forever,” Billie sobbed. 

“Shit,” Sylvia sighed. Clara crawled off of her bed to join her sisters on the floor, she squeezed Billie’s hand. She wasn’t one for talking, she wasn’t good at it. 

“I thought he loved me. But he manipulated me. I think he did it on purpose,” Billie choked through tears. 

Sylvia stood up and started pacing. 

“How much money you got?” She asked. 

“About $250,” Billie answered. 

“I got about $50 left over from babysitting. And I want you to take that,” Sylvia ordered. 

“I can’t take your money, Sylvie.” 

“Yes you can. Take it. Run away. Start over.” 

“I—I—I h—have t-t-ten dollars for you, Billie,” Clara spoke. 

“Take our money and go,” Sylvia said, “Consider it a thank you for all the years you took care of us.” 

“Are you sure?” Billie looked between her two sisters. Both nodded. 

“You have to go tonight. Go to the bus station and get out now,” Sylvia started to scheme. The girls helped Billie pack two bags that night. They rounded up and pooled their money. And at eleven that night, Billie snuck out and walked the three miles to the bus station. She waited until five in the morning and bought the first bus out to Cincinnati. But she didn’t stop there. From there she took another bus to New York. She figured she could disappear into the crowd there. She could say that her husband died and that she had no family left. She could get a job waitressing. Or maybe she could train as a secretary. It didn’t matter because she felt free. 

After two weeks in the city, she wrote her family and Lee a letter. She claimed that she wasn’t pregnant. That the stress from telling them and leaving town caused her to miscarry. She said that she couldn’t face any of them now. But that it didn’t diminish her love. She refused to come home. Billie did not include a return of address. She secretly sent Sylvia another letter at her boyfriends house. It included her phone number. Sylvia would call her once a month from a payphone and then from the phone at the local grocery store she worked at. The girls stayed in touch that way. Sylvia secretly relayed the information to Clara and when Joy got suspicious, to her too. 

Lee was distraught. He’d lost the love of his life and his baby in a matter of moments. He shouldn’t have made her tell her parents like that. But he couldn’t focus on it too long, because he was soon elected sheriff. He was married to the job. Then he started getting into business with the wrong people. Those terrible men he worked with gave him an idea. An awful idea. He wanted revenge against John and he would get it. 

@greeneyedblondie44

@bxnnywriting

[reidgraygubler]

a different type of high (spencer reid/reader) pt 4

Title: A Different Type of High (part four)

Request: no

Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader

Category: angst in the first half, some fluff in the second half

Content Warning: mentions of death, talks about parent death, relapse scare, suicidal ideation, talks about drug usage and drugs, anxiety/panic attacks, explanations of nightmares/night terrors, swearing, intrusive thoughts,

Word Count: 4,514

Summary: Reader nearly relapses because of the anniversary of her mother’s passing. 

A/N: this one does deal with some heavier topics (see CW's), so please proceed with caution. I originally had t his as on big long part, but, uh, it was too long. So it’s two parts… anyways, thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!

last part  series masterlist  next part

{***}{***}{***}

I sat in the living room with my eyes on the coffee table. Several orange pill bottles sat lined up on the edge. The way the light caught the plastic caught my attention, mostly in a bad way. I was already on edge, and my day was already ruined. Any number of things could have made my day bad, but we can easily put the blame on my mother. And, I’m not just saying that because she’s an easy target. No, I’m blaming her because she died a year ago on this very day.

I was hungry, and not for the food in my fridge. No, I was hungry for the high and the nothingness. The high that was dangerous and could likely kill me. Maybe that’s what I wanted. I mean, the only person I have in life to keep me grounded was Spencer… And we’ve only known each other for a short time. What if he’s faking it all? He doesn’t really care about me. He just says he does. Saying stuff I want to hear.

My body was on autopilot as my hand moved towards the bottles. The grip I had on the lid was tight like my life depended on it. Mostly because, in that moment, my life did depend on it. That was until a slip of paper caught my eyes. An unfamiliar handwriting was scribbled across the paper, but a more familiar name was at the bottom. 

Just because I’m at work doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you! Please call me if you need help with anything! 

-Spencer

I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked at the note. I have no idea when he would have written it and put it there. But it was the exact sort of pick-me-up I needed to stop me from making a stupid mistake. 

I stood up and shoved the paper and bottle of pills in my pocket before making my way to the door. My keys and a small stack of quarters sat on the side table beside the door, they ended up in my pocket. 

My feet moved themselves, and I soon appeared at the laundromat down the street. There were a few people there, and I could tell they 

hadn’t been there for very long. I just hope my phone call to Spencer wasn’t too long and they didn’t listen. Although, why would they listen to a random girl’s phone call? They don’t care, they won’t care. 

I quickly made my way towards the payphones, going to the furthest one to ensure my own privacy (again, they won’t care). I fished out the quarters as I sat down. It was kind of amazing how quickly I dialed Spencer’s number, and more impressive how fast I remembered it. It was the next number I remembered after my address.

The phone only dialed for a few seconds before he answered. I would have assumed he was busy with work or something. But, I guess, like his note said, even if he was busy, he was thinking about me. I’m pretty sure he was just saying that though.

“Hello, this is Doctor Spencer Reid,” he spoke calmly like he didn’t know what was happening. Well, that was probably because he had no idea I was on the verge of a breakdown. “Hello?”

“It’s… It’s me… Spencer, Spencer, I…” I swallowed roughly as I stared blankly at the wall in front of me. I could feel my heart beating a million miles an hour and hear the beating in my head. It was nearly deafening to me. Being alone didn’t help the anxious feeling. “Are you home?” My voice was a light whisper, and I wondered if he even heard me ask. I don’t even know why I asked if he was at home. I knew he was at work. It’s only 3 pm. Maybe I was just hoping he’d be home, and he could come over and save the day, make me feel better somehow. How though? I’m not sure. Spencer’s a fix-it type of guy, I’m sure he’ll figure something out.

“I’m still at work. But I should be home soon. Why? Is everything okay? Are you okay?” He asked, his voice heavily laced with concern. It was that moment that I realized he did care about me. 

I closed my eyes and brought my hand to rest over my mouth to muffle any sobs. “Are you okay? I need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.” He asked again when I stayed silent. I let out a deep sigh and shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me.

“I, uh, I… I want…” I let out another deep sigh, hoping he’d know what I was getting at. “Please don’t make me say it,” I whispered and looked at the counter. My fingers rapidly tapped against the smooth surface. We both knew I had to say it and admit my defeat and the fact that I was sitting in the laundromat, with a bottle of whatever drug I had hidden in my bathroom. “Fuck,” I shouted before slamming the phone down on the hook. The other few people in the laundromat looked at me with caution in their eyes. 

“What?!” I looked at them before I tightly tugged my sweater around my body before storming out of the laundromat. The pill bottle in my pocket rattled with each step I took, and it was getting very difficult to move without wanting to take anything. Tears sprung from my eyes, blurring my vision the longer I was outside.

When I finally made it back to my apartment, I stormed to the bathroom. My reflection scared me. I almost didn’t recognize myself. It was a little horrifying, seeing myself as so unrecognizable. So, I stared at myself, my hand in my pocket, rattling the contents inside.

I scoffed before shaking my head. My hand came out with the bottle, and my eyes looked down at it. My thumb fidgeted with the lid, wanting to pop it off and pour the contents into my mouth. But, instead, I chucked it to the sink, the lid popping off and pills flying everywhere, before I ran to my bedroom.

I pulled the blankets over my body to hide from the world. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and face and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. That’s a shame too… Nearly two months clean and all I wanted to do was not exist and ruin everything.

{***}{***}{***}

I jumped awake when a very loud banging came on the front door. I looked around my room before swinging my legs off my bed and leaving the room. I dragged my body across my apartment and to the front door, where the banging hadn’t stopped.

I pulled the door open and looked up. Spencer was standing there, looking at me with a frantic expression on his face. I stared at him with wide eyes, my earlier fears and anxieties quickly returning. I had nearly forgotten about calling him too. Damn it.

“You didn’t do anything, did you? You didn’t take anything?” He asked, looking down at me. I took a deep breath and shook my head. I stepped to the side and silently invited him inside. He stepped inside and looked back at me, before looking around my home. He was probably looking for any signs of current drug use. The only real sign was in the bathroom… Where the bathroom had a grenade of pills explode all over the place. We’ll just keep him out of there… For now...

“No, no, I didn’t. I swear I didn’t. I, uh... I took a nap and cried it out,”  I rubbed the underside of my nose. I pressed the door shut before turning around to look at him. He was looking at me, he still wore a panicky expression in his eyes and it made me feel sick. He doesn’t believe that I didn’t do anything. I wouldn’t believe me either.

“What happened?” Spencer finally asked as I walked up to him. He opened his arms up and allowed me to hug him. I honestly didn’t want to answer him. Everything about today was already awful, and I just wanted it to be over. “Can you tell me what happened?” He asked after a moment of silence. I let out a deep sigh after he pulled his arms away from me. He noted my deep breath and wrapped his arms back around me. 

I turned my head away from his chest so I could have a coherent sentence. Er, well, as coherent as it could get. “My… It’s the anniversary of… Of my mom's death,” I swallowed roughly. Spencer looked down at me before squeezing me harder. I pressed my face into his chest and shook my head. “And, I just…. Wanted to disappear. I don’t know…” I spoke, my words being muffled into his shirt. One of Spencer’s hands cradled the back of my head while the other held me closer to him. “I didn’t want to be alive at the moment,” I whispered. 

“Don’t say that,” he returned the whisper. His voice vibrated in his chest, and it felt good against my head. The way he squeezed me made me feel safer in the moment. “Please don’t ever say that again,” his voice cracked at the end. I bit my lips together as I started to cry. “Don’t even think like that,” his voice got even lower, probably because he was also crying and he was just trying to mask that fact.

“You don’t get to think that way either,” I looked up at him and furrowed my eyebrows. He looked at me as he remembered when he was gone for a week and how he stood in front of several people with loaded weapons. 

“This isn’t about me… It’s about you,” he whispered, bringing a hand to my face. His thumb brushed away the tears that were rolling down my cheeks, but that was basically useless because I couldn’t stop crying. But it felt good to cry, to be honest. “You’re still young and have so much to live for. Someone has to save you,” he looked down at me, his hand still holding my face. I feared that he was only doing it to make sure I was still here and alive. Which was a weird fear for me to have, and I suppose for him to have. 

“So are you, Spencer,” I whispered as I leaned into his touch more. He swallowed roughly as he kept his eyes on me. His eyes grew glossy the longer he stared at me. “You save everyone… But who saves you from yourself?” I furrowed my eyebrows. Spencer sighed deeply before hugging me again. 

“You do,” his whisper was hardly audible, so I was happy I heard his words. I wasn’t so sure what he meant by that. I mean, obviously, I was the thing that kept him sane while he was home. But, I don’t exactly know how I save him though. So, I was unsure as to why he told me that.  “It’s just been difficult for me recently. But, I’m working on getting better,” he spoke softly. And, I swear he said ‘for you’, but it was so quiet I couldn’t be sure. Even if he did say it, I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear it.

We stayed silent for a while, and we just stood in each other’s arms for even longer. Being in his embrace made me feel safe, and I know I said that earlier. But it’s true. I wonder if he felt the same.

“You alright?” Spencer looked up at me. I looked down at our hands and nodded. “You look like you haven’t slept in a couple of days,” he spoke, his tone was soft and gentle. I could tell that he really cared and was trying really hard not to sound mean. I didn’t mean to take it to heart the way I did, but I did.

“Not really,” I grumbled and looked down at the ground. I shrugged and quickly glanced at him. He was looking at me with an apologetic look on his face, silently telling me that he was sorry for suddenly offending me. I shrugged it off like it was nothing. It wouldn’t be the first or last time someone offended me over something so… small and unimportant. He shouldn’t be sorry, it’s my own fault. He was just asking if I was alright.

 “The last few days have been rough for me, ya know? Especially with this whole thing,” I sighed deeply and shrugged again.

“If I stay here, will you promise to get some rest,” Spencer offered, grasping both my hands. I looked at our hands with a dullness in my eyes. I was beginning to zone out because of how tired I was getting. Spencer lifted a hand and gently rubbed my shoulder. I sighed and looked down before looking up at his face.

“I’m having nightmares, and they’re really realistic… That’s why I’m losing sleep,” I whispered. Spencer looked at me before pulling me into a hug. “And they’re about everything. Me, my mom, you, drugs, dying, death… I don’t know,” I mumbled into his chest. I pressed my chin into his chest and looked up at him. Spencer looked down at me with a smile on his lips. We were really close to each other’s face, and I know he noticed that too. “I like when you spend the night,” I noted, changing the subject to something lighter, even though it was that much lighter. 

“Really,” he asked, raising an eyebrow and smiling lightly. I nodded and returned the smile. “Why’s that,”

“Because then I’m not lonely, and left with my thoughts,” I whispered as I stared at him. I’ve never noticed how pretty his eyes are, with their golden and greeny color. He looked at me like he saw something, but I was clueless about what he saw. “And, whenever I’m with you, I feel safe and at home, in some weird way. I’m sorry. I don’t know. The exhaustion is starting to hit me now that you pointed it out,” I sat back away from him. I pressed my hands into my face and shook my head. “I just never sleep anymore and I’m honestly used to it at this point. But I’m tired all the damn time,” 

“I’ll be here, you can rest. You don’t have to worry about anything hurting you,” he whispered before wrapping an arm around my body. I looked up at him and nodded. “Let’s lie down?” he asked softly. I nodded before going to walk to my bedroom. Before I even got the chance to step a foot away from him, Spencer picked me up and carried me. I looked at his face and furrowed my eyebrows. “I’m fully capable of walking, you know,” 

“I know,” Spencer smiled as he readjusted his hold on me. He was carrying me like a backpack, but on his front instead of his back. “But you’re tired,” he hummed as he held me tightly.

“Yeah, I am,” I looked at him with a smile. Spencer laughed at me and shook his head. Our faces were close again, closer than before. And, for some reason, I really wanted to kiss him. Which, again, is weird. He’s my best friend… And I want to fucking kiss him. It just felt like the perfect moment for us to kiss. But, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I can’t lose the one thing that’s keeping me grounded. And he can’t lose the thing keeping him grounded.

Spencer carefully kicked my bedroom door open and walked in. He laid me down on one side of the bed before going to the other side. The blanket was pulled over both our bodies and Spencer was close to me.

“Please get some sleep,” he whispered, brushing hair away from my face. I looked up at him and nodded. “Do you want me to rub your back?” 

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” I laughed before rolling onto my stomach. “My bestest friend ever,” I hummed as he started running his hand along my back.

“Aren’t I your only friend?” Spencer joked lightly.

“Ah, not only that. My bestest friend,” I looked up at him and smiled. Spencer shook his head before brushing his fingers across my eyelids, somehow getting me to close my eyes. 

“Go to sleep,” he whispered. I giggled and nodded before moving closer to him. Spencer returned the laughter before wrapping an arm over me. 

{***}{***}{***}

I wrinkled my nose as I noticed a weight across my body. It wasn’t like an emotional weight like I’ve been so used to waking up to recently. No, there was something actually on top of me while I was asleep. So, when I opened my eyes, I wasn’t too surprised when I saw something on me. However, I was more surprised that it was another person. That’s right, Spencer stayed the night.

His arm was strewn across my torso, and his legs were entwined with mine. His head was resting on the same pillow as me. The way he slept so soundly and restfully made me mildly jealous. How come he gets to sleep so peacefully and I don’t?

I hope he was as peaceful as I thought. There was probably not a bad thing he was dreaming about. Unfortunately for me, I was freaking out because I dreamt that I watched my best friend being killed.

I laid back, pressing my head into the pillow before turning to look at Spencer. His nose twitched as he stirred lightly before hugging me tighter. I held my breath, worried that my breathing would wake up. But, it did. There was no need for worry. He must be having a good dream with all the humming and hugging he was doing. 

I looked at his face, mesmerized by the way he slept so soundly. The way his eyelashes pressed against his cheeks, and freckles dotted the bridge of his nose. His lips pouty and slightly parted. I didn’t even realize he was awake and I was staring till he said something.

“Hey,” he murmured, pulling me closer before nuzzling into me more. I smiled softly as I looked up at him again. “You don’t have to go to the bathroom, do you?” he hummed as he closed his eyes again. 

“No, I don’t,” I replied back, giving up on any chances of getting up. We might be here for a while, so there’s probably no point in getting out of bed with Spencer holding me hostage. 

“Mmm, good,” he opened his eyes and looked down at me. The tired smile on his lips made me feel warm and safe as I looked at him. “How long have you been awake?” he asked, his thumb rubbing circles on my shoulder.

“Not long,” I whispered, looking right at his eyes. He looked back at me and nodded. “How did you sleep,”

“I think that was the best sleep I’ve had in a very long time,” he closed his eyes again, “Something about your bed is very comfortable,” he looked down at me and smiled. 

“Is it the bed or is it because you’re sleeping with someone to cuddle with?” I asked myself as I stared at him. “I’m happy you find my bed comfortable,” I laughed lightly. My bed is not comfortable. So I know he didn’t find it that comfortable.

“How did you sleep?” he asked, placing a hand on my cheek. I swallowed roughly as I stared at him.   

“Better than the previous night,” I shrugged a little bit. Spencer frowned as he readjusted his hold on me. “Let’s make breakfast,” I spoke out loud before sitting up, pushing his arms off me. 

“Breakfast?” 

“Yeah,” I smiled as I slipped out of bed and grasped his hand to pull him out of bed. He grumbled before standing out of the bed. I smiled at him before practically skipping out of the bedroom. “I’m sure I have something!” I spoke out loud, knowing I have nothing much for breakfast.

 I went right to the kitchen, instantly eyeing up the loaf of bread that was probably a little stale. I grabbed it and opened the fridge, happy to see a carton of eggs. And with that, I made eggs in a basket. I hope that Spencer would enjoy that. Considering it was one of the only things I knew how to make.

“Coffee?” Spencer asked as he slowly walked into the kitchen. I turned around and pulled open a cabinet. A can of Folgers was sitting on the top shelf. I pouted as I stared at the can.

“I don’t think it’s good,” I muttered as I pulled the can from the shelf. “I probably had this stupid can of grounds for an embarrassingly long time,” I spoke as I looked into the can and noted that the grounds were kinda gross and kinda clumpy, causing me to pout. “No coffee,” I muttered, tossing the can to the garbage, only to miss and go over. The can landed with a clang on the ground. 

“We can always get some later,” Spencer smiled as he bent over to pick up the can. I raised my eyebrow at him as he tossed the can to the trash, without failing.

“We?” I asked, turning to watch him lean against the counter. He shrugged and smiled.

“Why not,” he shrugged again. I smiled as I looked at him. It was only then that I realized I was burning the food.

“Oh no!” I jumped around to the stove to remove the pan from the stove. “I hope you’re okay with burnt eggs and toast,” I pouted as I looked back at Spencer. He had stepped closer to the stovetop to watch me. He looked very amused with my laughter and urgency with cooking. “Don’t laugh!” I looked up at his face.

“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you panic over food before,” he pointed out with a smile. I looked down at the burnt food as I carefully moved it to a plate.

“I’m hungry,” I muttered before shrugging. I looked back up at Spencer and shrugged.

“That’s a good thing…” 

“Being hungry? How is that a good thing?” I scoffed and raised an eyebrow.

“You have your appetite back,” Spencer pointed out before he lifted me up to set me back down on the counter. It was so effortless as he moved me. I was impressed that he barely strained to lift me (unless, he did and I was just oblivious to it).  We were at the same level now, and I was able to look him in the eye instead of at his chest. 

“Why’d you do that?” I looked at him before looking at the counter beside me. 

“So we can have an eye to eye conversation,” he smiled at me. I rolled my eyes and looked down at the plate of two burnt eggs in a basket. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked, watching as I started picking at the food. He smiled as he stood between my legs. 

“You just did,” I smiled, trying to pretend like I wasn’t suddenly anxious. Why ask someone if you can ask a question? Why not just ask the question? That’s like #1 reason why people get anxious. 

“I want to take you to the office, so you can meet everyone,” he whispered as he grabbed some food too. I looked up at him with wide eyes.

“You want to take me… To the FBI…” I stared at Spencer. I almost relapsed yesterday and had the worst day of the year yesterday... And, he wants to take me to… The FBI to meet his friends… I could feel bile rising from my stomach. It honestly took everything in me to hold back the sick. So, I slowly lowered my hand and food back to the counter.

“Yeah, they’re my family, and you’re my family… So, that also makes them yours,” Spencer smiled at me. I dropped my shoulders as I stared at him. I really didn’t want to argue his logic there, but I understand why he said that. 

“Won’t… They’ll… Spencer, that’s… I don’t think that's a good… They’ll ask how you know me,” I whispered as I looked away from him. He rested a hand on my knee and looked at my face.

“We won’t worry about that right now,” he whispered in a reassuring tone. I stared at him and shrugged.

“What’ll we tell them? When they ask, ya know?” I looked up at him. Spencer stayed silent as he looked around my kitchen. I could only assume he was thinking really hard about what we would say and how we would lie to his family. 

“I’m not sure,” Spencer shrugged as he grasped my hands. I looked down at our hands and felt a frown forming. “I don’t know,” he whispered and shook his head. It was obvious for both of us that we would have a hard time being around his friends. Everything about telling a bunch of FBI agents that you’re addicted/was addicted to drugs can be a little (alright, a lot) intimidating. What are they going to do? The worst thing is they arrest me and fire Spencer. “Don’t overthink it,” he looked up at me. I nodded.

“I just won’t think about it,” I forced a smile before shrugging. Spencer gave me a knowing smile. “If they’re your family, Spencer, then they’re my family,” I sighed deeply as I looked down at my legs. I pulled my hands from his before rubbing my hands up and down my thighs. “And, I’d love to meet your family,” I sighed even deeper as I looked up at him. His face lit up a little bit with my words, and it genuinely made me feel happy. 

“You’ll love them,” he whispered before pulling me off the counter. I wrinkled my nose before looking up at him.

“I mean, I’ve already met Emily. And, she seemed definitely cool,” I laughed as I grabbed the plate. I looked at the two burnt pieces of bread. I tossed them into the trash and looked up at him. “I just hope everyone else is just as cool as she is, and even as cool as you,” I cocked my head as I looked up at him. He stayed silent before pulling me into a hug. “When would you even want me to go?” I asked once he released me. My stomach felt upside-down as I asked my stupid question. “Whenever you want,” he spoke softly. I looked down at the ground and nodded.

 “I should let you get to work. I know you don’t like being late,” I pouted, “I’ll see you later?” 

“Of course,” Spencer smiled before hugging me again.

last part  series masterlist   next part

series taglist: @shameleswhorehourstm, @itsametaphorbriansblog, @bxtchboy69, @sammypotato67, @seninjakitey, @thebluetint​

didn’t work: thatsonezesty13,  mediocrehamiltrash

[its-me-jessi]

Love Finds Its Way PT1

Pairing: Ivar X Reader

Summary: One day Y/N comes upon her first love she hasn’t seen in a long time since they went separate ways. She remembers how they came to meet each other for the first time. Back then he was a noble boy and she was the daughter of a pirate.

A/N: To be honest I had the idea to this story a long time ago but never really put it into writing until today. I really wanted to share it with you, and I hope you like it as well as I do. ☺🤗 I’d really appreciate any kind of feedback. Feel free to leave comments or reblog. 😊🧡

Part 2

"My name is Ivar." Ivar.

Tonight, the pub was particularly well visited. Everyone was holding a jug of beer and at least one woman to sweeten up their evening and night with. It wasn’t rarely seen that one woman was desired simultaneously by several men and that this desire degenerated into a fight between eager men. Only one could sleep with her tonight and who was better suited than the one with the most stamina and the greater strength. So, for a woman they fought loudly in one corner of the run-down pub, while in the other corner one beer was emptied after the other. The men chatted and often broke out in loud laughter, which even drowned out the music of the minstrels. The whole pub was filled with screams, laughter and music. It was a miracle that despite all the noise I got to overhear the conversation between the captain and a young man. Ivar. It seemed like this name made me keen-eared, because all of a sudden, all the noise became silent around me and I focused my attention on nothing, but the man named Ivar.

I moved inconspicuously away from the crew to another place that offered me a better view, a better view of his face. I had to see his face, his moves, his eyes. However, I didn’t want him to see me, which is why I hid behind a pole. I moved a bit to the side to have a better view of him. Immediately, I recognized him. It was Ivar, my Ivar, my great love. In all these years he hasn’t changed at all. But he is stronger than before, at least as far as I could tell by looking at his upper arms and chest. Shortly after I looked back into his distinctive face. It’s been way too long since I last saw his face, saw his full lips and could look him straight in the eyes. Into these beautiful blue eyes that shine in the light. I've always been enchanted by them since the moment I first saw him. How he looked up to me when I grabbed his hand to keep him from drowning. We were both so little and young when we first met.

I was only twelve years old when I went on board of a huge pirate ship for the first time. Everything was so exciting, especially the fact that I was forbidden to enter the ship, especially when it’s supposed to run in the sea shortly afterwards. Although my dad, the captain of the crew, always forbid me to sail with them because in his eyes I was too young, I found a way to evade the prohibition.

As it was getting darker, I climbed out of my window, careful to not make a sound. I tiptoed along the road down to the port, here and there hiding from my dad’s crew members and especially him. Engulfed in darkness, I ran to the ship unnoticed. Now that I was right in front of it, it looked even bigger than before. The view of this huge ship didn’t scare me as much as it made me more curious than I already was. I imagined it to be a whole new world that I really wanted to explore, and nothing stopped me anymore, except maybe the men doing their laps on board. That was the last obstacle that had to be overcome. All I had to do was to get past them unnoticed and hide quickly, and then I would have officially made it.

I sighed, already imagining my plan popping like a soap bubble before my eyes as the entrance was suddenly left completely unguarded for a moment. After I took the chance and ran on board I realized why. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who snuck on board. The son of another crew member was on board as well. It seemed like he has been hiding on board all day long. Somebody must have discovered and exposed him, since he was now facing the team in need of explanation. The incident drew the attention of the entire crew to the boy and it helped me to sneak on board. I had to thank the boy later on, even if he hadn't knowingly helped me.

Now I was finally on board of a ship, not knowing what kind of ship it actually was. Until that day, I always thought my dad was doing legal work.

The ship sailed out further and further, there was no land in sight anymore. My home was now miles away, which scared me a bit, because it was the first time for me being so far away from home and my familiar surroundings. Everything on board was new to me. My father was the only one I knew. I sure had spoken to a few men from his crew before, but they were still strangers to me. The ship's command, the tasks that the crew had to do on board were all new to me and still difficult to understand. I just watched curiously as the men were doing their job. At that time, my father steered the boat, I assumed. I wasn't sure, because I couldn't see him. He was on the deck above me and I didn't dare leave my hiding place to see if I was right in my assumption. I preferred to stay hidden and hardly move at all not to draw anyone's attention to me. It was far too exciting to experience life on board close up without anyone stopping me. I just had to make sure that it stayed that way.

Loud euphoric roars awoke me from my deep sleep. After a few hours of curious observation and amazement, I fell asleep hidden under the stairs. Apparently, it seemed like I didn't have slept very long since it was still pitch-black outside. Before I fell asleep, the crew and the sea was very calm and reassuringly peaceful. To be honest, I was scared of being attacked by pirates. Often as a child, I picked up stories about pirates that scared me. At the time, of course, I had no idea that I would one day witness these stories up close.

I looked through the stairs and saw another ship approaching ours slowly and carefully causing an uproar among the crew. The waves carried it through the sea, drawing it closer and closer until it was within ultimate reach. I watched the approaching ship attentively as well as fearfully and the people who, thanks to the lighting on board, were easy to recognize in the dark. That's not how I imagined pirates to look like. They were well dressed, far more noble than my father's crew, himself included. As they sailed past us, there was pure fear reflecting on their faces. None of them moved from the spot and I didn't understand why? Confused, I looked at the crew of the ship on which I was hiding. Unlike the strangers, they didn't look even a little bit scared. Many of them even had a grin on their faces, a cheeky and sneaky one. This nasty facial expression exactly met my expectations of a pirate. Was I wrong about my father? Was he one of the pirates I have always feared?

Slowly the ship drifted past us and a certain relief rose up in me, but it didn’t last long, because suddenly my father's deep voice rang out and I was startled. On command, some of the crew disappeared below deck and the next thing I heard was a loud bang closely followed by the sound of a hard collision and the sound of broken wood. Loud cries filled with terror and pain were heard. Three more loud bangs followed, and the screaming grew louder and louder. When I dared to step out from under the stairs and looked at the foreign ship, I witnessed how the ropes of the ship broke and the masts tilted. The ship was quite a bit larger than ours, but slower, especially now due to the damage it had suffered, so our ship could catch up with it quickly.

I was in shock and I clawed fearfully on a stair step. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of my eyes and I felt helpless. There was nothing I could do but watch the situation in disbelief. People died under the weight of the collapsing masts. Their screams rang out in my ears and made me feel their pain. My eyes wandered along the falling mast and a boy dangling from the ceiling caught my eye. He only held on with one hand and looked fearfully down into the sea. I sincerely hoped the railing would hold him, but on the contrary, individual parts of the ship kept breaking off and with them the boy fell into the deep water, which tore me out of my shock. I have to help him somehow. Without thinking about it any longer, I stormed to the unoccupied side of the ship. The crew gathered on the opposite side facing the doomed ship and its workforce. I looked at the crew, who are busy with rejoicing over the strangers' suffering and did not notice how I jumped over the railing. I had learned to swim at a very young age. My mother insisted: "In deep waters it saves you and others from the painful death, so don't be frightened and swim, my child." As I looked around, above and below the surface of the sea for the boy, her words came to my mind. The painful death. I wanted and had to protect the boy from it. And there he was! He came back to the surface and fought for every little bit of oxygen he could get. I didn't have much time before he goes down again, so I looked around for parts of the ship big enough to carry us both. Fortunately, I quickly noticed a wooden panel that was just big enough for him and me.

I swam as fast as I could and grabbed the wooden board before it drifted away. From that time on every second counted. I swung myself onto the driftwood and paddled with my little hands to the place where I had just seen the boy. Pure panic arose in me and the thought of being late spread inside my body because for a moment he was nowhere to be found but suddenly, a hand had grabbed the driftwood and my feelings told me it was the boy. I grabbed his second hand, which came out from under the water, and helped him to the surface. At first, he just looked at me surprised before he pulled himself onto the wooden plate to join me. Totally exhausted and out of breath he knelt on all fours, coughing and panting. He must have swallowed a lot of water. I wanted to help him so bad, but I hardly knew how. Primitively, I just patted him lightly on the back, hoping it would do him good. In fact, he stopped coughing. Instead, he stared up in a trance at the ship he belonged to. He too heard the roar and the screams and had to watch how many, with whom he had traveled and were possibly very close to, had already died or were still dying. Including his father. He had saved his son's life before he was killed by the mast along with all the other brave men. The shock was still deeply felt in both of us as we watched the crew of my father and he himself boarding the ship and killing the rest of the survivors to get to the valuable treasure. That's exactly how I imagined pirates to be. Insidious bastards who care more for gold than for actual human beings. I would have never thought that my own father was a pirate.

Slowly the excruciating screams stopped and what remained was the victorious roar of the crew and that of my father. Only now did I notice the skull, bright in the moonlight, which adorned the pirates' flag.

I remember how cold and uncomfortable it was that night. The waves drove our wooden panel further and further away from the scene and further out to the sea. Far and wide there was no land in sight and the freezing cold air made us shudder again and again. Our clothes were soaked to the skin. We were cold, had nothing to warm us up with and there was still nothing to look forward to. We were so young and only had ourselves. My loneliness was self-inflicted, but this boy was unintentionally separated from his family from one second to the next. I felt terribly sorry for him, and instead of my father, I felt guilty. If my father hadn't come upon their ship, his father would still be alive, he would be on board of the ship and could return home all safe and sound. Now he was anything but happy. He sat next to me, completely withdrawn. We have been drifting through the sea for hours, which seems to have no end and we still haven't spoken a word to each other. I had often looked over at him, watched him sit quietly and stare into the darkness as if he could still watch what was happening in the distance. "I'm so sorry for what happened!", he had heard me, I could tell by looking at him, but there was no reaction. If only I could have helped him, I would have done it immediately, but I had no choice but to look at him for another eternity and wait for help, for land or a word from him.

“It's rude to stare at someone like that,” I heard him speak for the first time in hours and was immediately ashamed of my behavior. He was right, it was not appropriate, my mother had taught me this lesson once before. I immediately apologized and looked away from him. I had been looking at him for hours, looking in his blue eyes that shone even in the dark. I wasn't ashamed of that, but rather of that he had noticed. "My name is Ivar and what's your name?" He asked me and looked over at me. His first movement since we were on this puny wooden board. At first, I was a little bit surprised that he was talking to me, but then I enjoyed the conversation. I immediately felt less lonely and hoped he felt the same way. "My name is Y/N! I'm glad to meet you, Ivar!”, I smiled sincerely at him and to my surprise he returned the smile. "Thank you for saving my life", I just smiled and with that we fell silent again. Neither of us spoke a word, we were too preoccupied with our thoughts. When will we see land? Will we die out here?

Thank you so so much for reading! Stay safe! 😇🧡