#i couldn't tell that the colours weren't as washed out as i was trying to acomplish bc the leds were failing

[riftclaw]

Here's another "where we started, where we are now" situation for you.

I'm serious when I tell people to never give up on art bc you WILL crush it. Just give it time.

[viranellee]

freak out on me

synopsis: your feelings for eddie come to a head.

warnings: slight angst (can you believe i didn't write porn without plot this time, me neither!), light smut, mention of drugs & alcohol

a/n: to the wonderful @atrimmunson!

~~~

In a world, a life and a band full of uncertainty, you knew at least one undeniably true fact about yourself - one-night stands are absolutely not your thing.

On the rare drunken evenings when you did welcome a stranger into your bed, you were quick to find out that the shitty, uncomfortable feeling in the middle of your chest the morning after overpowered any sense of pleasure you might have felt during the night. It varied from guilt to sadness to dissatisfaction to even anger. You weren't exactly sure why it happened, or what it meant, but you didn't let yourself linger on it for too long anyway. Like a good, responsible citizen of society, you decided to simply stay away from what you knew made you feel bad.

Despite your fellow bandmates finding your decision fairly strange at first, you stuck to it with such determination that they couldn't help but get used to your "self-induced celibacy", as Daisy had so affectionately called it one time. Every evening you drank a bit, you did a few lines here and there, and made out with whoever took your fancy. Afterwards, you returned to your hotel room and either practiced a bit on your bass guitar or just climbed into bed immediately.

Was it boring for a rockstar? Definitely. But it was a safe and comforting routine, one which you so unfailingly followed that nobody dared to try and disrupt it.

Well, until this morning.

The first thing you notice when you open your eyes is that the colour of the bedsheets is different from the ones you're used to. The first thing you feel is the soreness between your legs. The first thing you hear is the quiet snoring from someone behind you.

Holy shit, you think to yourself as panic starts to creep in, this isn't real. There's no way this is real.

You allow yourself to realize that, despite your growing anxiety, you feel good in a specific way that you've only felt after having been well fucked. It's a sensation you've only felt once or twice in your entire life and something you had nearly forgotten as you grew accustomed to the sheer mediocrity that was your sex life.

You try to dispel those thoughts from your mind as you turn around, trying to see who the sleeping, apparently good at sex man beside you might possibly be and gasp when you see the mop of light brown hair you've fantasized about running your hands through.

He has his back turned to you, but you recognize him immediately. After all, you've had a massive crush on Eddie since the moment he convinced you to join The Dunne Brothers as a bassist when Chuck left.

As your breathing picks up, you try to recall something, anything about last night. You turn your head around, hoping to see clothing on the floor so you'd at least remember what you were wearing. When your eyes land on your dress, a nude mini, and shoes, a pair of beige stiletto heels, the only memory from last night that manages to emerge is Karen complimenting you and telling you something about how Eddie's been looking at you all night.

After a couple minutes of failing to remember anything else, you sigh and run a hand over your face, deciding it'd be better for you to just wash your face with cold water and choose where to go from there.

You walk towards the bathroom, grabbing Eddie's shirt and half-hazardly putting it on, all the while slightly limping, which you can only guess is the result of your more than satisfactory late-night shenanigans with Eddie. You look down when you step on clothing half-hidden under the bed. In particular, Eddie's blazer.

And it all comes flooding back.

---

"Hey, how are you doin'?" Warren greets you good-naturedly from his place on the couch as soon as you enter his incredibly big hotel room, full of people mingling. "Is it just me or do you look sexier than usual?"

Before you can respond, Karen appears and wraps an arm around your waist, eyebrow raised at Warren.

"Back off, Rojas. She's mine." She tells the drummer, who defensively raises his hands in the air.

You laugh at the interaction as Karen turns to look at you.

"Seriously though, you look incredible. That dress is stunning." She tells you, smiling, and you return it.

"Thank you! Almost didn't wear it, but I'm glad you like it."

"Oh, trust me, I'm not the only one." Karen replies, smirking, as she subtly nods her head towards the other end of the room. You turn around and see Eddie, whose eyes widen when your gazes meet. He promptly resumes his conversation with Graham, cheeks slightly flushed.

You look him over, taking note of his dark red velvet blazer that hugs him in just the right places and the unbuttoned white shirt underneath which reveals just the right amount of skin, and you start feeling a little warmer yourself.

"He's been looking at you since you arrived." Karen elaborates, adding fuel to the fire, and you smile to yourself. Ever so perceptive, the keyboardist notices that too, and links her arm with yours, leading you to the drinks table. You can feel Eddie staring at you as you walk away and you have to put in an embarrassing amount of effort just to not trip on your own feet.

When Karen hands you a shot, you drink it immediately, hoping that the taste distracts you from even thinking about Eddie. It doesn't. In fact, it only heightens your senses to the point where all you can focus on is him. You steal glances at him when he isn't looking, silently admiring him until you lose track of time. Various people come up to you, at one point Karen leaves you alone for a bit to go talk to an old friend, and you really, truly don't know if it's been minutes, hours or millennia since this damn party started, but when you look up from your whiskey and see a girl touching Eddie's arm, flirtatiously laughing at something he said, everything snaps back into place. Suddenly, your dress is too short, your heels too uncomfortable, makeup too sticky, hair too tangled, and you feel like you can't breathe. You're drunk and the room is closing in around you.

You're at homecoming again, watching as the homecoming queen leaves with your date. You're at graduation, looking at your boyfriend of two years through teary eyes, as he tells you that he "just isn't feeling it anymore". You're at Warren Rojas's party, loving someone who will never love you back.

You stumble towards the balcony, wiping a lone tear from your cheek. Karen calls out after you, and you really don't want to ignore her like this, but your mouth isn't even capable of forming the words to tell her that you just need some air. You shakily wave a hand towards the direction her voice came from, trying to dismiss her worries, as you step out onto the balcony and feel the cold evening air hit your face.

You inhale sharply, choking on the wave of tears that had threatened to drown you just a second ago, greedily gulping the freezing breeze in hopes that it would kill the poison inside your stomach. Wrapping your naked arms around yourself, you look up towards the starry sky.

"I look like a mess." You mutter to yourself, voice hoarse although you've barely said anything all night.

You hear the sliding doors open and close behind you, and just as you're about to turn around and politely tell the intruder to piss off, a velvet blazer is being wrapped around you.

"Never." A familiar voice responds and your sluggish brain can barely process that the whole reason for your mini-breakdown in the first place is now in the cramped balcony space with you.

"Eddie, what are you doing here?" You question as you slowly turn around to face him.

He looks beautiful, you think for a moment,

but he isn't yours, a second voice berates you a beat later.

Eddie looks at you like you've just asked him what colour the sky was.

"You're upset." He puts it bluntly, eyes frantically looking over every part of your face, as if you being upset and him coming to your rescue correlate to each other whatsoever. As if it's a given.

You blink up at him. He reaches and wipes off a tear that escaped from the corner of your eye. You can feel the calluses on his fingers, the ones only a guitarist could have, the ones you have as well.

"Are you..." He swallows and his nervousness almost makes you smile. "Are you okay?"

You're tempted to lie the way you usually do when you're asked something like that.

"It doesn't matter." You brush his inquiry off instead, looking down at your feet and starting to pull his blazer off your shoulders. "Here's your-"

In the blink of an eye, the sides of your neck are being enveloped by warm hands and your head tilted upwards. Empty eyes meet urgent ones.

"I don't buy that for a second, don't give me that bullshit!" He tells you, desperation laced within anger, helplessness hidden underneath fury. "Don't, don't fucking shut me out again, the way you always do. I'm sick of it."

The air itself hisses back, responding on your behalf with a sudden, unforgiving breeze. Eddie's panting like he's been waiting centuries to say that, while you shiver in his hands.

"Don't act like you give a shit, Roundtree, because I know you don't." You tell him and his mouth opens slightly in surprise. "Don't act like you care."

He's so close to you that your foreheads almost touch.

"Well, I do care. A fucking lot, actually." He fires back and you sigh, closing your eyes.

"Why?" You simply ask, exhausted by the turn the conversation has taken, but you still allow yourself the liberty to bury your head in his chest. You wouldn't have done so normally, but the alcohol in your system makes you braver. He puts his head on top of yours and you feel his heart beating rapidly as he opens his mouth to speak.

"Will you freak out on me if I told you I love you?"

Your head snaps up so fast it’s a miracle your neck doesn’t break. Eddie is looking at you, lips parted and anxiety swimming in his eyes. You open your mouth and close it, like a fish out of water, unable to think, say or do anything at all.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, forget I even said anything, I’m probably drunk.” Eddie apologizes needlessly, shaking his head, interpreting your reaction as rejection and turns to leave.

You grab him by the collar of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks. Before he has the chance to apologize again, which you know he will, you kiss him. His lips are soft, softer than yours, and you suddenly realize that there’s no drug, no food, no man better than this. He stands still for a moment, in shock, but when your hands press against his chest, he grasps the sides of your face, leaning into the kiss.

You don’t know how long you stand there, kissing each other, but when you have to break apart for air, you force yourself to ask him a question instead of continuing to kiss him the way you want to.

“Are you serious? About loving me?”

Eddie smiles at you so brightly that the stars above don’t even hold a candle to him.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

---

"You look good wearing my shirt." His sleepy voice behind you compliments and you turn around to face him.

Half of his face is buried in the pillow, but it still makes your heart flutter. He reaches out towards you, opening his hand and closing it and you can only interpret it as him wanting you to come back to bed.

You comply, anxiety gone, and he rolls on his back, letting you lay your head down on his chest. He wraps an arm around your waist and you can feel him kiss your forehead.

"Eddie..." You start, one last question on your mind. "How exactly did we end up here?"

He turns to look at you, fingertips brushing back and forth against your skin.

"Well, uh, Billy almost caught us making out, and I suggested...taking things back to my room." He sums up and you blush at his choice of words. He doesn't seem to be as affected as you, a smug smirk pulling up the corner of his mouth. "You enjoyed yourself. I made sure of that."

You almost scoff at him, but you know he's telling the truth. The evidence is all over your body.

"Really?" You say, on the verge of smiling as you climb into his lap. His hands grab your hips to balance you with such casualness, you almost forget you kissed him for the first time yesterday. "I don't remember much. I was hoping you could refresh my memory."

As soon as the words fall out of your mouth, Eddie's sleepiness vanishes comically fast - in an instant, he's grabbing and kissing you. You thought it'd take a bit longer to convince him, but you aren't complaining at all.

You return the kiss immediately, and you're happy to find out that the feel of his lips is so much better when you're sober. Soon enough you can feel him hardening beneath you. You start taking off your (his) shirt, but he stops you.

"Don't. I want to have you like this." Eddie explains and starts kissing down your neck, rushing like he might die if he isn't touching your skin.

You're about to moan out his name as his hands slip underneath the shirt, gently scraping the skin with short nails, when the door opens.

"Eddie, man, you won't believe who I sa- Holy shit, I'm so sorry, Jesus Christ!"

---

WARREN ROJAS: That shit left me scarred for life. Should I have knocked? Yeah, I mean, probably. But man, was it traumatizing. [silence] I'm happy for them, though.

[waywardwizzard]

River stared up at the ceiling of the shuttle, watching as bubbles of colour drifted past each other, throwing a beautiful rainbow onto the rusty metal.

She giggled when Orange and Turquoise bounced off each other with a soft popping noise. Blue and Purple chased each other around the outskirts of the group, Pink making gentle whooshing noises-

Something wasn't right.

She frowned and counted the bubbles.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8-

No.

No.

Frantically River counted and recounted, each time ending up with 8 instead of 9. What happened to the Green bubble?

A rush of noise made her flinch and scream, Yellow diamonds falling down, tearing into her skin, cuting, cutting, cutting deeper until she bled bright red (didn't look beter in red or blue, she had always been purple)

Seven, seven, lucky seven but why was Serenity seven if seven meant luck? Luck was fickle, good and bad in all ways but one, the only one that mattered (they weren't meant to be 7, why were they 7?)

"Why won't it stop?" she wanted to say but Yellow diamonds mixed with Green emeralds and Violet cried and drowned out her voice until nothing was left but air. Purple shrunk and disappeared and Blue cried too (simple blue, sad blue why would no one listen to you?) and where was Pink? Orange got bitter and turned red and Turquoise ran and burst and Red got redder and Orange-red (wrong wrong wrong- ) got Red and not Orange and everything fell apart because the rainbow, the beautiful rainbow (hope and love and the dawn of a new day and Serenity had been all of that and none of it) shattered and died, refracting into 9 different pieces neither of which could function (survive?) without the other 8 and wasn't that the problem?

A rainbow wasn't a rainbow without all of it's colours and a family wasn't a family without all of it's pieces-

Blue tears like sapphires rained down around her, gentle, loving, alive blue turning grey, grey, grey-

River woke up with a scream that echoed through Serenity, startling 8 heartbeats that were so intertwined with her own that she couldn't tell whose was whose anymore.

Glancing up at the rusty metal ceiling of the shuttle River saw 9 bubbles gently floating and flitting between each other, all of them throwing their own colour onto the wall, creating a beautiful rainbow.

She smiled and closed her eyes, letting her family's voices wash over her as she drifted off, the bubbles quietly following her into her dreams.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Author's note-

I am insanely proud of this one for some or other reason. I hope I wrote River ok-ish and that her ramblimgs sort of make sense (if they don't or something doesn't make sense, please let me know and I'll try and explain it)

Also, can y'all sort of tell which colour is which crew member? Let me know who you think each colour matches with.

(Am I making sense? I'm sorry if I'm not I'm so tired)

Set pre-BDM

[thestuffedalligator]

There were two guards at the palace gate, slabs of meat and muscle wrapped in candybright costumes. They looked every bit as solid as the iron gate between them, and looked like the kind of guard prepared for every kind of foolishness they'd see tonight.

They weren't prepared for the woman who stepped down from the cow-drawn wagon. Her slippers gleamed amber in the torchlight, and her dress was... It was...

Well, the fey who hung over her shoulder told them that her dress was a beautiful thing, spun from the glimmer of starlight, the sound of snowfall, and the colour of the moon. He said that any discerning gentleman could tell that this was true, and the guards agreed.

Neither of them had looked too closely at the dress. In fact, they had been trying to carefully, politely and inexplicably avert their gaze.

It had been, Jack decided, a wonderful night.

The story of the woman with the fairy dress had spread through the party like - well, gossip, which is what it was, but it was gossip said by the rich, who couldn't afford to be wrong, and that was just as good as wildfire.

The real magic had been when the prince had asked her to dance. Her chemise had twirled like a dishrag, and everyone in the watching crowd that night would swear they saw her gown glimmer and gleam in a whorl of stars and snowlight.

And that was all well and good until midnight, when she had slipped her arm into his, gave the prince an "Attends un moment!" that glittered with polite laughter, and hauled Jack away from the hors d'oeuvres.

He slipped the squidgy grey thing he had been eating into a pocket. "May I help you, my lady?"

"I need to talk to you."

"But of course, my-"

"Now."

Jack heard the tone.

Oh fuck, he thought.

Her glass slippers made high, clear, silver sounds as she marched across the marble floors and out onto the balcony. She let him go and stepped away, breathing in the cool, clear air of the summer night, smelling of night stock and distant rain.

Her shoulders were shaking.

Jack felt something in his heart turn cold. Oh fuck, he thought. Oh fuck. Oh fucking fuck. I've gone too far, the spell's been broken, the con's gone bad, I have to get her out of here-

And then she made a... noise.

He would've called it a laugh, only it sounded like the kind of noise made by an aroused boar. It was joined by a rivulet of little snorts.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry." She turned. She looked at him. She turned away again and melted into snorting hysterics.

Jack blinked. "My lady?"

"I'm sorry," she said again. She took a few calming breaths, bubbling with suppressed laughter. "I'm sorry. But holy fuck, did you see their faces?"

"Uh," said Jack.

"I mean what a bunch of morons. Fucking hell, look at this thing." She grabbed the collar of the chemise and pulled it up for an experimental sniff. "The Duchess wouldn't stop talking about opulent and extravagant it is. I think I haven't washed this thing in a week."

The penny dropped and activated his brain. "How long have you...?"

She flapped a hand. "Oh, from the start," she said. "At first I just wanted to see how far we'd get. I thought we'd be turned away at the gate, but then it just kept going!"

She pulled herself up to sit on the balcony rail and grinned at him, glass slippers glittering as she swung her legs. "There has to be a market for this," she said. "Selling fairy clothes to the nobs? Get the whole royal court's bits flapping about?"

Jack stared, and in spite of himself, felt his face grinning back. "Nah," he said. "Already did that with the emperor. No point in pulling the same con again."

Her face lit up. "So that was you! I thought so! You got a long con going on here?"

"Something like that."

"I want in."

"I already have a partner."

"I know. She's lovely. I want in."

He stared. He shrugged. He offered her his arm. "Why don't we head down to the stables to talk about it with her?"

They had made it down to the outer court before she drew herself up short. "Damn."

"What?"

"I think I lost a slipper."

"Oh, don't worry about that," said Jack. "It was only a glass set, anyways."

"You never complain about Stone Soup."

"I like Stone Soup," said the cow. "Stone Soup is an honest con. We get a meal, everyone thinks they've seen a little bit of magic, you sell the stone for a little bit of pocket money, you pick up another stone at the next town. Everyone gets something."

"And if I remember right, you were the one who suggested we steal the magic beans."

"That wasn't stealing, that was a legitimate trade."

"A legitimate trade for a talking cow that disappeared by morning?"

"He didn't even lock the barn! How is that my fault?" She huffed and laid her head onto her forelimbs. The stalk of grass in her lips wobbled with her scowl. "Old fool never knew what he had."

Jack hummed. He craned forward to get a better look into the tiny, cracked glass, pulled gently at the corner of his eye and delicately dabbed the makeup brush.

"My point is," said the cow, "this all seems rather - cruel."

Jack turned. One half of his face was magnificently painted in faerie shades of blues and violets. The other half was just confused. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"For gods' sake, Jack, this is a perfectly innocent girl who you plan on humiliating in front of the royal court."

"How would she be humiliated? As far as she'll know, she'll have a lovely time at a lovely ball in a lovely ballgown."

"You don't have a lovely ballgown!"

"Well I can't afford a ballgown, now can I?!"

"So you're going to make her waltz in her fucking underclothes?!"

He took a dramatic breath. "Look," he said, brandishing the makeup brush. "If it worked on the fucking emperor, it'll work on a fucking scullery maid. If she gets told by a fairy that she's wearing a fairy dress that can only be seen by intelligent people, she is going to believe like hell that she's wearing the very image of sartorial extravaganza."

The brush was masterfully twiddled. "And when everyone else finds out that she's wearing a fairy dress that can only be seen by intelligent people, there won't be a single person in that room who would dare to disagree."

The cow shook her head. "I don't know, Jack," she sighed. "I just don't know."

"It'll be fine," Jack said, turning back to the tiny glass and bringing a deft hand again on the canvas. "Trust me. How did you do finding the slippers?"

"Couldn't find crystal," said the cow. "Best I could get were a glass set from an elf down at the cobbler's."

Jack hummed. "Well, they shouldn't be that important. Nobody will look too closely at her shoes."

[casspurrjoybell-22]

Master - Chapter 44 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

- Kalem's Birthday -

Lifting us once more, Master takes us to the bathroom while I try not to die in his arms.

I try to wash Master and help him clean up but Master wouldn't let me.

Forcing me to stay still for him while he took extra special care of me in the shower which was already a lot when he did that normally.

But it was nice, having Lincoln massage me and soap me up, kissing me and telling me how much he loved me and how special I was as he took care of me.

By the time we stepped out of the shower, I felt all bubbly inside and that feeling only grew when Master put my flown crown back on after we were dressed.

The flowers in my crown were little tiny ones that were mostly yellow but there were some pretty pink ones too and they were all tied together like they were holding onto one another while with me.

My magic buzzes under my skin at having them so close to me, sitting on my head all pretty and perfect.

"Master, what are these called?" I ask as I look over the bouquet that was now in a vase.

I wanted them with me all day but Master was being all weird and saying that I wouldn't need them.

"Tulips," he replies as he takes my hand and pulls me towards the door. "We'll plant them soon so you can have them in your garden."

"I love birthdays," I cheer happily as I jump up to kiss Master's cheeks all over.

"Now for your next gift, I know I was supposed to wrap it up but that was kind of impossible."

"How come?" 

"Well, you'll see," Master smiles as lifts me suddenly and walks me to the bedroom door. "I just want you to enjoy your birthday and let me pamper you since it's your special day."

"But?" I question with a frown. "That's your 'but voice' Master, that means there's 'a but' coming along."

"But," Lincoln continues with narrowed, amused eyes. "But I have to ask you to try not to pop too much."

I tilt my head and squint my eyes like his.

"I only pop when I'm too excited."

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," Lincoln says as he settles his hand on the doorknob. "Just try alright love?"

"I'll try," I promise and Master finally opens the door.

My mouth falls to the floor and suddenly I understand exactly what Master was talking to.

The moment I'm exposed to the massive, castle corridor that was covered from head to toe in flowers of all kinds and all colours all I wanted to do was pop to see every inch of it. 

Somehow, they were flowers stuck to the roof and the walls, the only place they weren't was the floor but still.

There were roses, pink, white and red ones and the new one I learnt, tulips and there were lilies and hydrangeas and... and...

"Master..." my voice fades when I look at the giant windows that made up one side of the corridor.

These windows were usually covered by vines that had grown all over the castle outside, they had been from the first day Master brought me home but now there wasn't a single vine or leaf in sight.

They were all cleared away now and perfectly clean, allowing me to see the woods resting outside the castle.

Sunlight came through too, the little that broke through the cracks and made it underground shone through her, lighting up the flowered hallway from every angle.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my entire life and I could barely breathe with the way my throat closed up, my magic swelling up so deep inside of me that tears fell from my eyes.

"Kalem," Master prompts gently, reminding me that I was in his arms and that he was looking at me, patiently waiting for my reaction.

But I didn't know what to say.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't even tear my eyes away from all the flowers.

There were so many flowers.

"How did you?... When? Flowers..." I could barely breathe. "So pretty."

"Well, I started a few weeks ago and employed the help of some of your friends," Lincoln explains with a grimace that told me that included Arias. "I noticed how you adored the castle's corridors and I know you worship flowers, so I thought mixing the two in some manner would be best."

Looking back at Master with wide eyes, finally put the pieces together.

"Is that why you kept making me pop us to bed?"

When he nods I gasp.

"You said you just wanted to get used to it."

"And I did..." he allows with a chuckle. "I also needed to keep you out of this part of the castle for a while."

I didn't know Master could be so sneaky.

"But it was worth it because it finished now and this blossomed pathway is yours to enjoy," Master tells me eagerly. "It's my hope that every night before you go to sleep, this brings a smile to your face and another each morning when you walk through it." 

"This..." I start so quietly I couldn't hear myself. "This is for me?"

"Of course," Lincoln says with a kiss, his hold on my tightening. "It's all yours."

I try to say thank you, I do.

I try to swallow around my awe and falling tears to tell him how much I loved it, how much it meant to me and how I'd cherish it forever and ever.

But all I could do was hug my Master tighter than ever before, squeeze him and never let go.

Lincoln wipes my tears away but even though they kept falling, he just kept smiling at me.

Not for the first time, I wonder how it was possible to love Lincoln even more.

I thought I'd reached my love limit, that I was already overflowing with love for him but again... he made me see that I could love him way, way more.

Master gives me another kiss to my temple before he slowly starts walking us through the magical hallway, letting me take in every beautiful petal. 

This was our section of the castle so I knew nobody else would come and I was glad it was all for me because some part of me never wanted to share this with anyone but Master. 

Lincoln had done this for me, just for me and it was way too special for another to see.

These days, my magic just poured out of me whenever I was around flowers and I had a feeling that this special hallway would do that even more.

"I don't want to leave," I tell Master when we reach the end of the hallway. "I want to stay here forever."

"How about we come back after everyone's had a chance to surprise you?"

I frown with confusion but I don't get to ask as Master turns a corner and exposes us to members of their clans that were all hanging around before they saw us.

[theeveningletter]

Friday, 01/20/2023

Last Night's dream: I dreamt that there was a family of bears living in our backyard. And that Frank Ocean released a visual album - I think it was a new one - and we were watching it on the TV in the kitchen.

Where I went: res, school - stu's class for digital!, took the GO train home

What I ate: 3 bananas, oatmeal, cookies, a cracker, dumplings with soy sauce for brunch. For dinner, I had home food, which was egg + chives, chicken + da cai, coriander chutney, and a tuna sandwich that Chai Li brought home. For dessert, I had tiramisu, cookies, and tea!

What I did: So I woke up at 10:55 am. and I was like FUCK I'm late AGAIN. And I rushed to get ready for school and was out the door in pretty good time. I texted Sarah and we met up to walk to class together. She had asked me if I remembered where the class was, and I thought to meet her outside the pink wall, but because she texted 2 mins ago, I figured she'd be farther down the way so I kept walking (after I stopped!). And then I was like "where r u" and she was like "behind u" and I was like 0.0 lol. And so we walked to class together. Our computers weren't working so Stu had to help us, and Graham also came to help. Sarah's been working on her table merch for the zine club table! (I forgot what it's called.) I'm glad Carrie is joining her and Erica! Because maybe we can invite Erica to some dinners! I also let Sarah know about the depth cues zine submission coming up. I let Carrie know the day before. Sarah left class kinda early. It was hard to follow what was going on tbh. Stu brought the animation into photoshop and idk how he did it. I spent the majority of the class just looking at 3D assets and wondering how Stu did it. Instead of asking him, I just wasted time and left a little past 1:00 pm. Ugh. I need to get better at asking for help!! After, I went back to the dorm to have brunch. I had to eat all the bananas I got from Walmart because they would have otherwise rotted over the weekend. And when Carrie came back from class, we spent some time in the kitchen together, working and eating. She also did not do the rotoscoping thing, so she worked on that while I read and took notes. We also took a look at some of the forest finals people made in her class. I decided to catch the bus around 4:48, so I left Res at around 4:30 and caught the bus. Some people (including me) were running from the bus to try and catch the GO train at Oakville GO. I don't know if I even tapped correctly. I don't know if I hit the override button all the way. So I was sitting very anxiously on the train. I couldn't even read or listen to music. After I got to union station, I decided to do some reading, because I had to wait for like 45 mins until the next train. Then, I got on the train and kept reading there. I felt like such an intellectual. Oh ya, something I remembered from earlier today aka last night. I met Carrie in the kitchen at around 2-3:00 am and I was telling her how great the book was. And how a lot of the tips could apply to illustration. And she felt inspired hearing some of the tips and stories. And she also wants to make films! I am happy to hear. Anyways, Mom picked me up from the station, and we went to No-frills to buy drinks for tomorrow. I wore a thin jacket, which I kind of regret, but I have other jackets at home, so it should be okay. Then, we went to Woodside to pick up a cake for Alex. Woodside got pimped out. The dinosaurs move. And there was a DJ. And it was dark but there were colourful lights lol. We got the cake from Everbest bakery. 6 buns from there are $10 now :( they used to be 6 buns for $3. But for them, I understand the price increase because they're a small business. After we came back home, I took a shower, and then had dinner. Helped mom with washing some dishes, then made tea. And I worked on my rotoscoping assignment and watched EI and I'm about to go to sleep because I have work at 10:00 tomorrow.

Media: Emergency Intercom ep 79, Doja Cat, Miley Cyrus, TXT 0x1=Lovesong Japanese version

What I worked on: rotoscoping, reading

What I'm grateful for: Mom! She was literally up until 1:00 am cutting ingredients for tomorrow. She has work but still has to took dishes for CNY party. I'll try to help as much as I can, but I also have quite a bit of work to do.

Closing thoughts: I don't see the hype with ice spice. And I might eat my words later down the line, but at the moment I don't get it. That video of her peeing in a fan's mouth while she was performing is also quite disgusting and it was my first impression of her... I need to MAKE time for drawing.

[internetgremlin-writes]

64 with Max please!

64 - "Can I hold your hand?"

i am so embarrassingly deep in max feels currently this is well-timed. also i should be writing up my cases. i am not.

warnings - kinda heavy? Arguing, panic attacks, Jos' parenting is a warning in itself. But fluffy ending!!

jesus christ trying to find a gif of max not wearing red bull everything is a nightmare

The argument started out of nowhere, really.

If he was being honest, he couldn't even remember how it happened or what was said. It had been a perfect Sunday. No racing, just you and Max and the whole day ahead of you. He'd found a recipe he wanted to try for when you were coming over later. It had been good, really good, you said. He'd made a bit of a mess in the kitchen, but it was his kitchen and he didn't mind washing up. You insisted on washing up because he cooked. He didn't want you to, but you were stubborn about things like that. You liked to be fair. Max insisted on at least drying the dishes.

Normally, when he flares up he can feel it coming. There's usually a mood brewing, a handful of small inconveniences setting him on edge just enough to snap at the next thing. But he hadn't felt like that. Everything had been great, and he was excited for the week you'd be staying at his.

All he knew was one minute he was standing right next to you, his hip pressed against yours as he dried the dishes and listened to your idle chatter, the soft pop floating over the radio. His domestic bliss. The next he was white-hot, blazingly angry. He had that metallic taste in his mouth and his ears were ringing.

You'd backed away, not far, but you'd put space between you. That had only wound him up more. Why did you feel the need to escape him? He wasn't doing anything. You weren't backing down though, arguing your point clearly. It was about a wedding, he remembered. You wanted him to be your plus one. You were a bridesmaid. He hated public appearances. You didn't think it was a public appearance, it was an event important to you.

"It's a wedding, Max! Can't you just smile and take a few photos!?" You weren't being unreasonable, but Max had crossed the barrier of reason. He was shouting, properly. You wouldn't back down. You weren't shouting back, but your voice was raised, he could tell you were annoyed. You wouldn't stop asking him why he didn't want to go with you. There was a rush in his ears, a flash of red in his vision.

"I said no!" The glass shattered on the floor at his feet. He hadn't thrown it, not really. Just chucked it on the ground with a lot more force than he needed. You flinched away at the sound, your mouth closing. You stared at him, the colour completely drained from your face. Your mouth was pressed into a thin line and you watched him with an expression he couldn't understand, but he knew it wasn't fear.

The hot stinging in his foot made him look down, and Max realised he was bleeding. It wasn't bad, and the pain felt good, bringing him out of the fog and back into his body. You didn't move. But he saw you then. He couldn't face it, so he turned around. He was gripping the countertop with shaking hands, so tightly his fingers were going white. He felt cold all over. The blood rushing in his ears had stopped, leaving him in uncomfortable, intrusive silence. His foot throbbed.

Max wasn't particularly good at expressing his emotions. He'd been taught to bottle everything up, save it all for the track where he could take all his frustrations out on the car. His best races were usually after a bad week. But there wasn't a car here and his mind was suddenly racing, his body catching up and the two tripping over each other as he tumbled down. His breaths were coming in short, sharp pants. It was too quick to get enough oxygen in. He felt lightheaded, but he couldn't stop.

His chest felt like it was being squeezed by one of those ridiculous snakes Daniel sends him pictures of on his farm. He couldn't pull any air in, even though he was trying. He was panicking now. His foot really hurt, he could feel his heartbeat in it. He found himself sliding down onto the floor, his hands wrapping around the back of his head to try and tuck it under further. He was rocking himself like he used to do when he was just a child afraid of the dark, but it wasn't working. Max was suffocating. His face was uncomfortably hot.

All he could think was that if he died right there he deserved it.

"Max," your voice was far away like he was sitting at the bottom of a pool and you were shouting from the surface. "Max!" you were closer that time. Your hands were warm on his shoulders, your fingers gently prising through his, encouraging him to lift his head. He wouldn't, he couldn't look at you. But he listened as you talked, telling him how to breathe. Forcing him to fight the suffocating urge to fight his body and instead relax, sucking in deep breaths and holding them before releasing.

The storm inside him settled, the sudden crushing feeling lifting.

He could feel your hand still on his shoulder, and he recoiled as if he'd been burnt.

"Max," your voice was soft, but he didn't want soft. He didn't know how to cope with softness towards him. He shook his head. His face was wet, eyes burning.

"No," his voice was trembling. He stepped away from you. "Don't come near me,"

"Max, you're bleeding. Let me help," he couldn't. You couldn't help him. He was beyond help, he saw that now. He shook his head, unable to meet your eyes as the lump in his throat tightened. He couldn't move, trembling too much to do anything other than limply stand there.

You didn't try and come near again. You let him stand, clinging onto the counter and steadying his breathing as you tidied the glass on the floor around him and moved to put it in the bin. When you came back your eyes were drawn down and glassy. You looked tired. But still, you reached out for him, and Max found himself flinching away like a feral animal. His face was still wet, but his breathing was better. He was trying to fight his shoulders pulling up into sobs.

"Can I hold your hand?" Your voice was calm. It was the same voice you used to coax the cats when they got frightened and hid under the bed. He couldn't nod, but he stayed fixed still as you slowly reached forward and took his hand in yours. Your touch was warm and soothing. He wanted to lean into you so badly.

"You should go,"

"Do you want me to go?" He could feel himself slipping away again, his mind floating above his body in the way it did when he tried to express himself.

"You have to. I'm turning into him," his voice broke on the last word. He saw his future spiralling before him; his face morphing, hairline thinning. He saw you, cradling a bruised eye. A cut hand. A cowering child. He saw you packing up everything and leaving him. He saw a miserable boy, unable to please his unforgiving father. "I'm a monster,"

He couldn't stop the sobs that wracked through his body then. You moved forward, pulling him into your chest in an instant and cradling him there as he openly cried. He'd never cried like that in front of anyone. Only in the dark of his room, after a nightmare that smelt of gasoline.

You didn't say anything until his heavy sobs turned into small sniffles. He wouldn't move his head from the warm, damp spot he'd created in the crook of your neck. You didn't feel fragile like he thought you were, you felt safe. Secure and solid and warm. You felt like home and his heart squeezed at the thought of ever losing you. When he finally moved to pull away you didn't speak immediately. You disappeared and he felt his stomach leap into his mouth, but you came back clutching the small yellow bag he knew was the first aid kit from the bathroom.

He sat in one of the chairs at the island in the kitchen, and let you quietly clean and bandage his foot. The cut wasn't big or deep, he'd be fine in a few days, but he was grateful for the quiet. He had a headache, and he was embarrassed. He didn't know what to say to you. When you stood up, you moved forward, his legs falling on either side of you. He had to fight the urge to tell you to move back, unable to get himself away from you.

"Max, you aren't becoming him. You could never. You're everything he isn't. You're kind and caring and sweet. You're the best boyfriend I've ever had, even when you're being a stubborn ass," that made him smile, and your eyes lit up as he gave you a watery laugh.

"I love you so much. You're not going to get rid of me this easily,"

"But I tried to hurt you?"

"No, you didn't. You would have thrown it at me if you wanted to hurt me. You hurt yourself, Max, the way he's taught you to," it felt like a punch in the gut, but he knew you were right. His father hadn't toughened him up like he always says in the interviews. He'd been trained to see himself as always lacking, always missing something. Just not quite enough. He'd spent well into his 20s still trying to impress the old man. He punished himself harder than anyone else could.

"I don't want to," he hated how small his voice sounded, but it felt good. To hear you pull out deep truths he didn't even know about himself. To be able to admit them and you stand there and take them all.

"I know,"

"I love you," he pulled you into a proper hug then, his arms wrapping tight around your waist, pressing a salty kiss on your cheek.

"We'll get through this, together."

[chancedarling]

"I don't understand it myself."

Chance just offers one of those bony shrugs. He does understand - about no-name pouring some kind of healing energy into him. He understands watching those mortal wounds close and knit back together as though it was some kind of weird special effect. But the pain he'd felt was real. The wounds he'd suffered had been real. The only reason Chance is still breathing right now is because he's real fucking -- l u c k y.

But he doesn't want this dumb chucklefuck doing something stupid because he thinks Chance has the capacity to heal... Even though it might be slightly amusing to inform him of the err in that assumption... After the fact of course.

"Guy with a face like a slapped arse. Mr No-name. He was there. Only thing I can think of is that he did it somehow."

Chance's voice is a slightly lower. More clipped version of his cheery usual upbeat self. And the questions pouring from Zaid that he couldn't actually answer were just adding to his annoyance. How, what... How the fuck should he know. A slight grind of teeth only steeling his determination to find out. He's not used to not having all the answers. Being on the back foot... Frustration bubbling just below the surface... But. But... He's ever the consumate professional. Keeps that mask pulled down and fixed tight... For the most part.

Holy hell - did this guy ever actually LISTEN? Probably not. He hears him prattle something about Una, but he's wrong. Again. If the subject didn't centre firmly around Zaid, Chance gets the impression that pretty much everything else was a wash.

"Una attacked someone in her uh... What did she say... Beast form. Not her animal form."

Chance corrects. He's subtle about it though. Never tell anyone outright that they're wrong. They tend to get overly defensive. Those guards go back up... They're less... Forthcoming.

"That's what she said at the meeting, right?"

But then he's off... Rambling and making statements with - as far as Chance can tell - no basis, fact or evidence for any of them. Just sweeping generalisations about what he assumes... Or... Maybe what he would like to believe.

Those hornets targeted this animal.

Did they? Or did the big cat take a swipe at the flying buzzing thing. Just like any house kitty might with a fly or a spider that was unfortunate enough to skitter across it's path.

They want to destroy it, yeah.

Do they? Or, like pretty much any real hornet or insect, are they simply acting out of defense. As far as Chance understands, things like this don't tend to sting or attack unless provoked. And... As Chance had not provoked them, he'd not been particularly bothered by them (other than the macabre images on the screens). And it sounds very much like Zaid is trying to convince himself more than anything.

Someone ordered them to do this, didn't they.

Did they? Who and why? If the cat thing is a creature of the Island, just as these hornets seem to be, maybe it just made the mistake of getting in the way of the wrong thing.

This isn't random, they don't gain anything from killing it except...

Isn't it? It's a natural defence mechanism. Undoubtedly the hornet telly things were NOT natural, but that wasn't to say the drive and the instinct weren't the same.

Chance is quick enough to turn his head. After glimpsing the quick and destructive emination displayed on the little monitor, the very same thing repeated right in front of him. Maybe the witchy-wolf-Una wasn't the most dangerous thing on the island... At least people had a chance of surviving one of her beast attacks. Chance can't see anyone walking away from being... Vapourised. And yet, Zaid had bitten his tongue. Like the true coward he is.

He's taken a few quick steps back at the intense light and heat. Those strange coloured blobs obscuring his vision for a moment at the sudden blindingly bright flash.

"Can they?"

Chance just returns. Voice calm and easy once more. He wants to know more. He will know more. About both Zaids capacity for destruction... And about these hornet bots. He just has to play it right...

"It looks like a construct. A creation. The monster wasn't to blame for Frankensteins ego. But it was the one to suffer."

Chance gives less of a fuck about whether the cat got away or not. He's blinking, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the low light. Watching as the remaining hornets swarm around the fallen one. Okay well, stupid did the truly stupid. For fucks sake. Goddamn moron. If they hadn't been in danger from the bots before... They sure as hell were now.

"Zaid."

This time, he's talking quietly. Because if those bots decide to take out the source...

"Head to the water. Quickly. Get your head under the waves and STAY THERE. For as long as you can hold your breath."

Chance's answer was as dire and pragmatic as they came. At first, it also was a surprise that it came from Chance at all. Zaid's general impression of Chance after all, was exactly what Chance intended: that the lanky Irishman was an affable, genuinely kind-hearted fellow with best interests; surely the type who cared about the welfare of all animals. Possibly a vegan (Zaid didn't judge).

But then the explanation came and Zaid's eyes widened in horror. He even took a step back, to give Chance a once-over. The bloke was in a state of artful 'careless-chic' partial-dress (which sharply reminded Zaid of Tej), enough for Zaid to look down to Chance's midsection to see...nothing. Not bandages or even scars - though a gutting wouldn't (couldn't! could it?) be healed by now.

"I don't understand," Zaid said, not wanting to accuse Chance of being melodramatic. "How...how did you survi-?" It was like one of the hornets heard (registered?) their chat, and immediately turned its attention to them - or rather, had something to show them. For Chance, a nightmarish replay from a completely different angle. For Zaid, a gruesome scene like a horror movie clip. Zaid covered his mouth with his curled hand at the sight.

"Flipping hell, mate. Was that real? How the fuck are you still alive." Zaid looked back at Chance's midsection, still incredibly confused, almost tempted to reach out and touch that unmarred midriff. Chance was so sure it wasn't a were-something.

"Una hurt someone in her animal form," Zaid pointed out, but he sounded willing to let that theory go. "Those hornets targeted this animal. They want to destroy it, yeah. Someone ordered them to do this, didn't they. This isn't random, they don't gain anything from killing it except..." Except what? Vengeance? Chance had no desire to stop the hornets, leaving this all up to fate.

One hornet crawled away from the pack, click-clacking delicately on the pointed ends of its six legs, its TV head twisting and tilting this way and that. When Zaid's hands glowed white, its TV face turned towards the pair, wings flittering in a specific way. Like a sound-pattern, a specific, repetitive chatter.

The TV depicted a scene of Zaid and Tej in the wilderness, Zaid shoving Tej away and ducking behind a thick tree. Bent over and heaving like he was going to be sick. And then: an explosion emanating from Zaid outwards, bathing everything in his diameter in a blinding white, oddly gooey light. When it died down, Zaid was still there, alive and on his knees in a charred circle.

Before the clip ended, Zaid raised his hands and blasted the hornet with that same viscous white-heat, near-melting its midsection as it collapsed backwards on its back. It whirred and spasmed, and the other hornets abandoned the tiger-beast to attend to their colleague. Buying the bloody beast enough to to crawl back into the trees, leaving a bloody streak on the ground.

The nausea in Zaid dissipated, and he lowered his now-normal, still slightly-smoking hands. "Well. It's done now. I'm sorry it tried to kill you, but it's just an animal, Chance. It can't help itself." Zaid stared at the hornets tending their own, trying to fly the molten wreckage away. "These things can."

[purecantarella]

Red Velvet Reactions : How You Met

here we go, another one of these because i have a chronic issue of falling in love with talented individuals who are also visually appealing HAHAHAHA since i've added ref velvet to the roster officially with this post send in your requests this probably won't be my pain priority since i stan the other 4 much harder than i do rv but i did wanna get this in as well! i hope you all enjoy!! disclaimer/s : other than implications of cheating, this is mostly floof. yall don't cheat on your partners, aye?

Bae Joohyun / Irene

Irene knew better than to sneak out in the thick of their promotion season, but with all eyes hot on her it was hard to not want to get out. Just for a moment. Her members encouraged her to take a well deserved break from the public scrutiny and she took the chance of her managers running around mad around the other girls.

The singer strolled through the calm streets, blending into the crowd as she pondered on the normalcy of a regular person's life, there was always a part of her that longed for that kind of simplicity.

So deep in thought, the feint thunder in the air slipped past her.

Before she knew it, she felt a droplet on the tip of her nose. Curiously, she looked up and dread washed over her like a tidal wave, or in this case a dark cloud of rain. Irene's eyes flew open wide looking for a place to wait the rain out in where she could conceal her identity to no avail.

She raised her hand in a vain attempt to cover her head, seeking solace under the shade of a tall tree. She clutched her arms, trying to restrain herself from shivering, as she thought of her next move.

Her members all had their own schedules and she knew better than to call her managers at this point, who would definitely punish her for sneaking out without supervision. Irene huffed and looked up the dark sky that seemed as if it wouldn't yield.

Until the dark sky was covered by a sky blue coloured fabric. Irene's eyes jolted to the side to see a smiling face, your smiling face. The singer offered you a polite but meek smile before taking a tentative step to the side, getting out of the shade of your umbrella.

"I know that we don't know each other but surely being in the rain and getting sick is worse than standing next to a stranger." You reasoned trying to get her covered. "I'm warning you not to get any closer." Irene said, slightly terrified of a stranger cornering her where she couldn't ask for help.

The realization of her fears dawning on you, you took a big step back, still making sure her head was covered from the rain. To a point when you weren't even under the umbrella anymore. "I'm sorry for overstepping." You said before looking up at the sky.

"I'd say there's about fifteen more minutes of heavy rain," You hummed thinking a for a moment, tongue sticking out as you did. Irene couldn't help but giggle at your childlike demeanour. "And five of light rain. Then you can make you way home."

The singer quirked her brow in disbelief. "I don't think so. This is going to take all day, I'm sure of it." You grinned, still staring at the gray sky before looking down at the woman cockily.

"Wanna bet?" You challenged.

Irene, never one to back down from a fight, nodded off, finally breaking into a wide smile as she stared up at you. "I hope you're prepared to lose!" She retorted, finally taking a step closer to you.

It didn't take long for you to badger her into talking to you. Soon, you both talked about different things, books, her members, and the mundane things you'd both done that day before that fateful encounter. And after just twenty minutes, like you'd predicted, the skies began to clear and Irene looked up in awe.

"What'd I tell you?" You boasted before closing the umbrella and turning to face the shocked idol. You chuckled before lifting your hand for her to take. "I'm Y/n...and also I was right."

She smiled up again, charmed by you. She took your hand in hers, "Joohyun."

Kang Seulgi

Baker!Reader x Seulgi

Each time during a member's birthday, they took it upon themselves to celebrate it together one way or another. It kept them close even when they had individual schedules. Seulgi was the head of all of that, organising their internal celebrations and reminding them of each of the important dates.

But when Seulgi's came, the girls were left with only a few hours to scrap together a party for their fellow-member. Wendy paced the floor on the phone with the seventh caterer she'd contacted.

"Yes that would be for about twenty or thirty-ish people?" A hopeful look on Wendy's face made the other girls look at her with happy grins on their faces. "Oh that's perfect! We'd need it in about two hours—No, I'm not kidding..."

There was a pause before the singer muttered a tired, "Hello...?"

"It's not entirely unreasonable that no one can take the order..." Yeri commented while cutting out another photo of Seulgi to which Irene and Wendy scowled. Relentlessly, Wendy typed in another number and she sat down, rubbing her temples. "Hi, yes, would you be able to cater to thirty people in two hours...?"

The other members listened in aimlessly, fully ready to just have the staff run out and fetch some fastfood meals. "Oh? You will? Oh! Yes, I'll send over the address. And would you mind picking up a cake on the way if that's possible?" Wendy's smile grew tenfold as she began to jump out of her seat and into fits of joy.

"Perfect! I will see you then!"

The rest of the preparation for Seulgi's birthday went on without a hitch, the decorations were up and all the girls had been able to get some rest, all they were waiting was the caterer and Seulgi.

Irene paced across the dance rehearsal studio, Joy and Yeri on the look out for Seulgi to redirect her if she came too early, and of course Wendy was glued to her phone awaiting her manager's texts that they've picked up the caterers.

"Oh! They're here!" Wendy called out making Irene jump a little.

Before long, their managers walked in with you and a handful of staff who accompanied you to help in the work. You smiled and bowed low to the idols who did the same to you. "I'm so sorry for being a little late. I took the cake in for modifications, I hope you like it." You explained quickly before lifting the cover of the desert to reveal a cutely drawn bear with a party hat on.

The girls smiled up at you, "It's perfect."

"She's coming, hide!" Yeri called out quietly before scampering to a secluded part of the room. "Oh! You should all hide too!" Wendy explained excitedly before squatting into a corner. You looked at your staff and shrugged before hiding in a small corner together. Then you were all plunged into a shallow darkness.

Seulgi walked into the room, softly greeting the dark room in a cute voice only for the girls to jump out of their respective hiding places. She giggled cutely as the girls ran up to hug her, your vision finally cleared from the sudden darkness to the bright light.

Suddenly, your skin felt incredibly warm as you stared at the woman who stood before the other singers you'd met previously. You swallowed thickly before shaking yourself, stepping forward to offer the cake to the girls to give with the lit candle.

Briefly, your eyes met with Seulgi's and her face immediately flushed before her gaze focused to the cake that her members held in front of her. The staff and the member's began singing and you and your own staff clapped along politely, trying with all of your willpower not to look at the birthday girl.

As for Seulgi, the moment she met your gaze she was a ball of uncontrollable nerves. She couldn't help but stare at your direction...silently hoping that you'd look back at her.

Then the food was served.

Your employees, completely aware of how taken you were with the idol, forced you to serve Seulgi yourself. You smiled up at her shyly as you handed her the packed meal the girls had you prepare earlier in the day.

Seulgi excitedly opened the container and was met with a delightful scent that made her sway from side to side happily. You giggled at the most candid reaction from the singer and bowed quickly, wanting to leave before you embarrassed yourself in front of one of the biggest names in South Korea.

"This is delicious!" A melodious voice called out in awe as you turned to look at her before she continued to eat ravenously. You flushed as she looked into your eyes again, "Is this your recipe?"

You looked around tentatively before she pointed to a free chair beside her with a kind and warm expression. You sat beside her, "It's my family's recipe actually."

"Must be some amazing family to produce this lovely meal and you." You giggled at the smooth line as you both continued to talk, the girls watching silently, smiling to themselves watching you both get lost in the conversation.

Son Seungwan / Wendy

Wendy had little time to herself. A lot of her interests and life was public information and could be accessed by pretty much anyone with a phone and internet. Don't get it twisted, she loves her fans and she adores sharing her life with her fans but sometimes she wants some things to herself.

So when she heard about a book that was recommended to her by one of the fans, she looked into it. And to her surprise, she loved it. The narrative, the characters, the suspense that left her wanting more, it all drove her insane.

Since she picked the book up, she couldn't put it down. She read it on her phone in her free time, when she was with the members she couldn't stop talking about it, and when she finally reached the end her world came crashing down when the second book was still in the works.

The singer tried to suppress the curiosity revolving around the second book, she needed to be calm about it. But the characters and their last held state made her mind run wild when she wasn't doing anything. To remedy this, she roamed the online forum for the book's fan pages, reading theories and speculations.

Excitement filled her as she read the pages and pages of information that had leaked and that was going around online. She pulled her phone into her chest, millions of ideas filling her head as she fell asleep.

On her next day off, she roamed the city taking in the sights and took a break in a small book store-café. Wendy ordered a coffee and wandered around the tall shelves while waiting for her beverage. Her eyes found a familiar book cover and she grabbed it excitedly.

Her lips tugged up into a wide smile as she read the first few pages, "This woman with the softest eyes, heart-melting smile, smooth voice, and warm presence was none other than Park Jisoo, the Dictator’s right hand man..." Wendy read with a wistful sigh as she flipped through the hard-bound book.

"You're a fan, I suppose?" A voice pulled her out of the book. She looked up at you in the blazer, embarrassed with a sheepish smile as you held your own coffee in your hand, eying the book in her hand. Wendy lifted the book, "Yeah, I've heard good things about it. Thought I'd pick it up." She explained casually.

You nodded before taking the novel in your hand, smiling down at the book fondly. "I always thought the cover could have been made better..." You muttered before Wendy jumped up and spoke before she could register what was happening. "But each part of the cover is meant to symbolize something! It only makes sense that they're there."

Your brows jumped up in surprise and repressed the smile on your face as you wordlessly asked her to press on. Her face was warm, she had let out her inner fan with a complete stranger. The singer cleared her throat and pointed to the art on the cover.

"W-Well...the day and night cycle above head symbolizes the change that Lucky has to go through, the dark mist around the character's feet is the magic that the character possesses, and the bloodied gun well..." She hadn't even realized she'd broken into a small smile before she even finished.

Wendy looked up at you with the same fond smile you held earlier. For a moment, you don't speak, as if you were lost in deep thought then a chuckle emanates from your lips. "I'd completely forgotten about all of that...I haven't read this book in months."

The singer's eyes light up with excitement as she asks, "So you've read it too?" You look down at her before you stuff your hands into your pockets. "Let's just say I know the book inside and out."

She gets excited and looks at you with complete awe. "I'm glad to know someone enjoys it as much as I do!" You flashed her big grin before you looked down at your watch.

"I'd love to talk about it more but I need to head out for a work meeting..." Wendy's heart sunk, she'd scared you off with her nerd talk. Before she could open her mouth to apologize, you cut her off. "So how'd you like to meet up another time to talk about it?"

The grin on her face grew again as she nodded enthusiastically. You let out another soft chuckle before scribbling down your number on a tissue paper and slipped it over to her.

"It was a pleasure to meet you." You added before you turned to exit the store. Wendy looked at the number, a giddy feeling building in her stomach before she continued to read the book in her hand.

It was a little bit longer until Wendy's order was called. When she rounded the counter to pick up the warm cup, she overheard the waitress talking. "Did you see Y/F/N was in here?"

"Who's that?" The waitress's co-worker asked while she wiped the counter down. "You dolt, they're the author of the How Fortunate series. Apparently, Y/n's been meeting with editors."

Upon hearing that, Wendy choked on the coffee she'd just sipped. Through fits of coughing she leaned onto the counter, seeking clarification. "That woman in the blazer and business casual? That was Y/F/N?!"

A shocked waitress nodded her head slowly. Wendy's hands fumbled for the tissue where you'd written your number. "Oh my God."

Park Sooyoung / Joy

Joy had gotten into a relationship with him because he seemed exciting and like he could keep up with her in all aspects. To say he'd completely under delivered on all fronts would be an understatement of the century.

He meant well and was kind enough. But he simply wasn't on her level in much of anything. It left Joy feeling unsatisfied and unhappy, and at the same time it wasn't fair to her boyfriend either.

She'd wanted to break it off so many times but he was either too dense to understand what she wanted to do or there was always something holding her back. The singer often joked with her members that maybe she should just marry him to get it over with.

Of course though, she knew that she couldn't fake it forever.

One night, they'd been having dinner together quietly, as they always did. Awkward scraping of silverware on the plates and silent chewing was broken with, "My family's having a dinner, everyone will be there. Wanna come with me?" He asked with a toothy grin.

'No. I don't want to be with you anymore!' Instead Joy pulled a tight smile and nodded, her spoon clutched in her hand. Her boyfriend reciprocated the smile before taking another bite of the rice and meat.

The night of the family dinner finally rolled around and Joy leaned up against the kitchen counter, glass of iced tea swirling in her hand as she eyed her boyfriend hugging distant aunts and uncles. She smiled politely at each of them but didn't put too much effort into getting to know them at all. She was gone in a few days anyway.

Then, the door flung open and she stared at the door to see a young woman sporting a leather jacket and a smug grin. Family members whispered among themselves as the woman made her way through the small space, opening her arms to Joy's boyfriend.

"Hello brother." You call happily before wrapping him in a tight hug, quickly pulling away and slapping his shoulder rather aggressively.

"Sis. You're here." You smiled casually before picking up one of the bread loaves and taking a gingerly bite out it. Joy walked out of the kitchen to see a younger, female, and rugged version of her boyfriend. Your eyes shone mischievously as she met Joy's eyes.

Your eyes darken and the grin on your face grows more cat-like. You nod over to her, "Who's she...?"

Cluelessly, your brother looks over at Joy with enthusiasm. "Oh honey! Come over and meet Y/n, my sister." The woman walked over to you with a kind smile, wonder building in her that you were related to, well, him, plain as a cracker.

The dinner went by surprisingly quickly and before Joy knew it, she was waiting outside on the curb for her boyfriend to pull up with his car. She rubbed her arms trying to fight off the cold.

"A real gentleman would never leave you in the cold." Your voice echoed in the dark night. Joy looks at you briefly before turning away, making sure you wouldn't see the flush that was beginning to rush to her cheeks. "Aw, not even going to look at your boyfriend's sister...?"

She grunts, trying not to give into the thoughts that flowed through her mind. "All I need to know about you is that you seem like trouble."

You smirked, it was much less enthusiastic than when you'd initially walked towards her. "Careful with that tongue Sooyoung-unnie." Finally, she turns her head, shocked to see how close you were. The huff of smoke from your lips mingling with hers. "I might just cause more trouble"

Your eyes oozed want and curiosity, it made her cheeks flare up. She saw your eyes flicker from her eyes to her lips, looking like you were absolutely famished. Before either of you could do anything you'd regret, you pulled away and disappeared into the house.

Joy watched you walk into the house, her knees weak at the feeling of you around. Suddenly hanging around her boyfriend's family didn't seem so daunting.

Kim Yerim / Yeri

You nor your family had a lot of money so when you started college you knew that by the end of it you'd have a mountain of debt. So in between you took a part-time job. But even after you graduated, looking for a job proved to be a new challenge, so you kept the part-time job.

Slowly the job became more permanent and it sort of just stuck. A part of you loathed it. But if it wasn't for that job, you wouldn't have met her.

It was a busy morning, you were running deliveries all morning and you knew that you had to take another shift later on in the restaurant to help pay for your mom's medication.

Ragged down from the heat of the summer sun, you walked into the restaurant to see your co-workers bustling around the small space. Your manager, a kind older woman, smiled at you pointing to the clock-in machine. You offered her a tired smile, "Another day, huh?" You commented to which your manager smiled and nodded.

"You missed a celebrity at table 9, but at least you get to clean it." She joked. You laughed softly before placing the helmet on the counter and reaching for the clean apron as well as the cleaning supplies.

As you collected the plates, from the corner of your eye, you see a brown leather wallet. Curiously, you pick it up. It surely wasn't any of your co-worker's, it was too fancy to be any of theirs. You opened the zipper and saw only a few credit cards and an ID. You take a look at the ID and plan on surrendering it to the cash register.

Suddenly, your eyes shot open, the youngest member of Red Velvet's wallet was in your possession. You look around to see if maybe she was still around or came back to retrieve it. After a few minutes of standing idle, you realize she isn't coming back.

You release a deep sigh and make plans to stop by the SM Entertainment Building later on.

A few hours later, Yeri had gone through her panic of realizing her wallet was missing and couldn't figure out where she could have placed it last. While she sat in the the practice room, waiting for further instruction, her phone rang. Expecting it to be a banker or a representative she picked it up immediately.

"Yeri!" Her manager's voice called cheerily. "Come down to the lobby! We need you." Abruptly, the call dropped and Yeri merely shrugged and made her way down sluggishly.

"You called me...?" Yeri muttered, still rather nervous about having to handle with all of the legalities of loosing her wallet with all her ids and cards. Her manager smiled before pointing to the lounge seats.

Confused, the singer followed her manager's direction, to see someone she'd never seen before looking around. Yeri's eyes narrowed at you. She turned back to her manager, "I don't know who she is if that's what you're asking..."

The older man chuckled softly, "She found a wallet in the restaurant she works at in the lost and found." Yeri's eyes lit up and the smile on her face returned. "She wanted to return it to the owner herself."

With that Yeri was practically bouncing over to you. Still distracted by the large building filled to the brim with talent, you barely noticed her barrelling towards you. She couldn't help but feel a sense of endearment to your wide-eyed curiosity with the SM Building.

Finally, your focus shifted to the singer. You offered her a kind smile, "I believe you left this at our restaurant. I though you'd like it back." You held out the leather wallet which she quickly took from your hand, embracing it like a child would their toy. You smiled and bowed quickly before turning a heel to leave.

"Wait!" Yeri called out, embarrassingly loud, to which she shyly covered her mouth before grinning up at you sheepishly. "At least let me repay you, you saved me a lot of struggle and scolding after all."

You smiled before looking down at your watch, you were already taking too long here. "I...I would love to but I have to head back to work." She bit her lip, thinking for a moment.

"How about I..." You politely put your hand up, smile still present on your lips. "Seeing the wallet back with the right person is fulfilment enough. Take care, miss Kim." Once again, you made your way toward the exit.

"May I at least have your name...?" Yeri tried one more time. You looked back, staring at her soft and endearing features. A flush of familiarity filled you before you faced her again, offering your hand out. "I'm Y/F/N. It's been lovely meeting you Kim Yeri."

Yeri noted how she loved the way you said her name. She grinned and took your hand, shaking it. You both chuckled softly, your hands lingering between one another before you finally pulled away, looking back one more time to see her staring at you. Your gazes sticking for a moment before you disappeared out of the building.

Yeri sighed wistfully, she had to admit you were rather cute. Shaking off the idea in her head, she returned to her manager thanking him as well before running back upstairs.

You both didn't know it yet, but that wasn't the last time you'd meet.

i would like to stress that i do not condone cheating in real life but joy and wendy's were my favorite to write HAHAHA i hope you all enjoyed this!! i'm gonna go missing for a bit again because my classes are gonna start incorporating physical classes so thats a new adjustment can't randomly write down prompt ideas in psychological statistics now can we? HAHAHAH i will see you all vv soon!! i hope you're all keeping safe and i love you all with whatever my heart can give 💖 - r

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

There's a party and you play truth or dare, you get dared to kiss Enzo by Caroline. The kiss lasted longer than expected and since reader has liked him for so long, she excuses herself and Enzo follow her asking what was that about. She was like it's a game I had to kiss you, he teases her and tries to see if he's right and says to kiss him if it meant nothing but she I'd hesitant. (Caroline is the only one who knows of her crush and reader is human ). Thank you

It's Just a Game, Until It Isn't | Enzo St John x Reader

"truth or dare, y/n?" Care asks giddily, we had been playing this game for about an hour, maybe more but I couldn't tell. I think Damon fell asleep right when the game started.

"dare" I smile confidently, Caroline was my best friend out of everyone. She knew everything from my favourite colour to my crush... being Enzo.

"kiss enzo" she grins and everyones jaw drops. Enzo and I weren't a pair, not a pair that looked good together so Damon say.

"another one? i'm sure Enzo wouldn't wound up kissing me because of a dare." I shrug it off, I like Enzo a lot and I mean like he made me feel like a little girl again even though that was only ten years ago... sort of.

"oh come on love, one kiss couldn't be that earth shattering to your ego." Enzo smirks "it's not my ego i'm trying to save." I lie to him but manage to maintain my heart beat at the same pace.

"do it then" Bonnie smiles to us and I chuckle "fine" I finally get out.

Enzo walks towards me with a smirk placing his hands on my cheeks, slowly pressing his lips against mine. I didn't want to part my lips from his, they were so different to any other lips I felt.

Sure I could taste the blood of his last meal, but I didn't mind it. Unless I died from consuming another's blood...

I couldn't care less really.

Enzo eventually pulls apart, everyone looking at us weirdly "that was long..." Elena says, I look over to Caroline who smiles at me. My cheeks turn red "excuse me" I say walking past everyone.

Walking into the bathroom, I check myself out in the mirror. Turning on the tap placing my hands underneath it.

"What happened?" a voice scares me, I jump throwing my hands up in the air the water in my hands going everywhere "oh- god enzo" I shake my head.

"what do you mean?" I ask him, swallowing the saliva down my throat turning off the tap "well what was the kiss about, love?" he asks me "it was just a dare" I laugh it off "yet you were hesitant to kiss me." Enzo says getting closer to me with each step "no, i was just being considerate, don't you have your eyes on someone?" I ask him, clearing my throat.

"i suppose i do." he says taking a step back to lean against the wall.

A wave of silence washed over us until he spoke again "are you sure it meant nothing?" he asks "completely nothing, i mean it was a good kiss you know but like it was just a game." I chuckle.

Turning the tap on once again to wash my face, the water building up in my hands as I splash it gently against my face. Drying my face with the hand towel next to me.

"just a game." Enzo assures himself "yep just a game, nothing more." I smile turning the tap off.

"alright so kiss me again." he states, spinning around shocked at his demand.

"what Enzo, I'm not going to kiss you on the spot just to prove-" "Kiss me, that's all I ask. If it's just a game, Kiss me." he says, cutting me off from the bullshit that was continuously flowing from my lips like niagra falls.

"fine" I say rubbing my dome "fine, I'll do it, just to prove a point." I say and he smirks, stepping closer to me, placing his hands softly on my cheeks then pushing his lips against mine.

We pull apart and I try to keep my heart from racing fast. "nothing?" he asks and I nod "nothing." clearing my throat before exiting the room.

[qingxin-s]

༉₊˚✧ʀᴇᴅ ꜱᴛʀɪɴɢ : xɪᴀᴏ x ꜰ.ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

anon requested:  a red string of fate soulmate au where in xiao would try to avoid / deny that he has a soulmate,, angst to fluff or just plain angst :]

synopsis: everyone is born with a string that connects them to their soulmate. it can never be cut, and it can never be tangled. 

genre: soulmate au, angst

word count: 1.5k

warning(s): mentions of blood and character death, not fully proof-read so sorry in advance

Xiao had hated the idea of soulmates for as long as he could remember.

Why put all his effort into caring about someone who was going to die anyways? Why break their heart when he has to push them away due to his job? The whole idea was stupid to him, and if he could- he'd sever the string tied around his pinkie finger.

At least, that's what he thought until he met her.

A joyful soul, so full of life and energy- always prepared to lend those closest to her a helping hand. She was even kind to the Yakasha, she didn't run from him in fear. He had heard about her before their meeting, she was somewhat famous around Liyue.

Famous for her kind acts and bright smile: even the children sung their praises about her. She was who he was least expecting to be his soulmate.

The air blew harshly through his sea green hair as he sat on top of the rooftop staring down at his now bare finger- and he couldn't help but grit his teeth.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

The tugging at his finger was growing more and more frequent as he stalked through the hilltops and although he tried his best to ignore it, he couldn't help but notice how much his heart rate was beginning to rise.

Why the hell was his soulmate out so late? Didn't they know the dangers that lurked in the shadows, the monsters waiting around every corner? They were going to end up being killed before he could even meet them- if he ever decided to meet them.

With every step the young man took, the string grew tighter and tighter- becoming more visible to his eyes, to the point where he could see it trailing on the grass floor. The bush to his right moved as he looked towards the string- and he instantly pulled out his weapon.

"Who's there?" Xiao hissed, his golden hues narrowing at the sound. The bush rustled again as a head poked over the top of it, and they instantly shushed him.

"Shush! I finally managed to get the poor cat to sleep" She whisper-yelled, causing him to cock his head in confusion. What cat? Before he could ask about it however, he noticed the string around his finger lead to her own.The girl wasn't immune to this either...and she slowly turned to him.

"Oh..."

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

With a yell he threw his spear to the floor and pushed himself from the roof, jumping to grip hold of the wooden railings as tight as he could- ignoring how white his knuckles turned.

Why was he thinking of her now? It had been so long since...since then, so why did she still plague his mind?

The amber hue of the sunrise peaked shyly at him as he kept his head bowed, staring down at the bridge connecting Wangshu Inn to Liyue, and he grimaced. The sunrises weren't the same now without her, they weren't as full of energy.

"You knew this was going to happen, idiot" He growled to himself as he fell to his knees- glaring out at the scenery.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

"He likes you!" (Y/N) beamed  as she watched the Yaksha poke slightly at the grey cat, his yellow eyes full of confusion as it purred at him. It had been several weeks since they had met under such unusual circumstances- and he was stupid enough to help her look after the cat she was talking about.

"Why is it making that noise? Is it possessed?" Xiao murmured as he watched the creature roll over and display it's stomach to him- causing her to burst into a peel of laughter. She clutched at his arm as he cocked his head once more.

"You're so cute, Xiao! It's a cat- it makes that noise when it's happy!" She grinned as she intertwined her hand with his own, moving it to stroke the cat. The mix of her jasmine scent and the warmth of her hand was enough to make him dizzy- and he had to focus all his attention onto the creature before him.

"Tch, whatever" He mumbled as he stroked the cat, and she clapped her hands in delight.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

Tears glassed over his yellow hues, threatening to spill and stain his cheeks. God, he'd spent so much time around her that he had picked up on her ways of expressing emotions. He had never cried this much before- dammit.

Harshly, he wiped at them with his gloved hands...but it was no use. They kept spilling, and spilling, and spilling.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

"I thought I'd see you out here!" (Y/N) grinned as she poked her head round the balcony entrance, spotting the Yaksha stood there. He turned his green haired head slightly to catch her gaze, and she quickly bound over to him.

"I brought you some almond tofu! The boss was telling me how much you like it!" She smiled, holding out the small bowl to him. Almond tofu...his biggest weakness. (Y/N) pulled him towards the small table set up near the railing of the balcony and pushed him onto the chair- pointing towards the dish for him to eat.

"Did you make it yourself?" He asked, looking up at her as she stood proudly with her hands behind her back, and she nodded her head enthusiastically. With a sigh he reached towards the fork he had been provided, and he took a bite.

Almost instantly, the flavours he adored so much washed over his tongue and made his heart throb- and his yellow hues widened.

"You like it!!" (Y/N) exclaimed as she clapped her hands, and without thinking he pushed his chair away and walked up to her- wrapping her in a tight hug. Almond tofu always made him happy, and now that she had made him some...he was even happier.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

"Xiao, can I ask you something?" The h/c haired girl whispered as she rested her head on his shoulder, staring out at the sunset. They were perched on the balcony at Wangshu Inn, all alone together in their little bubble. He hummed in response as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder- pulling her closer.

It was a year after their first encounter, and he had began to warm to the idea of having a soulmate. She cared about him deeply, he knew she wasn't going to leave him unprompted. But he was still scared.

Humans were too weak.

"Are you...happy that we're soulmates?" She whispered, leaning her head up to take a good look at him, soaking in his peaceful features. It was rare to see his face so relaxed, but it had become a habit around her. His eyebrows knitted as he pulled away from her slightly.

"Do you think i'm not happy?" He prodded, and she quickly shook her head.

"No, no! Just...I really like you. And I don't want you to feel forced to feel the same way just because...you know...we're soulmates" (Y/N) mumbled the last part, and he quickly cupped a hand to the back of her head and pulled her to his chest.

"I'd kill for you, don't ever think otherwise" He said firmly, and he could feel her laugh into his chest and she very quickly melted into the embrace.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

But, he'd been around long enough to know that all good things in his life swiftly come to an end.

He'd seen so much death to know what was going to happen.

He knew...he was going to lose the only good thing in his life.

━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦━━━━

"(Y/N)!? Hey, answer me already!" The Yaksha yelled as he ran towards the clearing, the mask attached to his face glowing green and lighting up his path. No...no no no. Where the hell was she?!

He told her not to go out, not to follow him because it was dangerous. But by the time he had returned to her home- she was gone. The rain beat down on his body harshly as he pushed shrubs out of his way, raising his spear to cut through some of them.

The string around his finger was tight- he knew she was nearby. But why wasn't she responding to his calls?! In his panic he slipped, almost plummeting off the face of the cliff he was approaching- but he quickly steadied himself.

Up ahead, he could see 4 figures all huddled over something, the cloud around their bodies inky black. They were demons- and they had to be eliminated. With no hesitation he sprinted towards them, jumping in the air as he cut through them like paper- and they fell to the ground with a thud.

As he landed he felt the string pull tight, and his heartbeat rose. She was here. Slowly, his eyes fell to the floor where a figure was collapsed- and his heart almost cracked.

"(Y/N)?..." He whispered as he dropped to his knees, quickly scooping her up in his arms as he brushed her h/c hair off her forehead. Her skin was cold, her lips chapped and stained a crimson colour he was all too familiar with.

"Hey! Answer me!" Xiao cried as he shook her body, but she remained silent- still. His jaw clenched as he balled her towards his chest, and without trying to stop it- a loud scream of pain left his lips. Acidic tears poured from his eyes as he clung to her, the harsh rain making the blood seeping from her body pool around him.

This is why he hated the idea of soulmates.

[lfcology]

swatches | sirius black

summary: you had loved sirius black for longer than you could remember. through two wizarding wars and a harsh time in azkaban: you were head over heels. what happens when he misunderstood your relationship? everyone lives au lowkey as it should be! 

pairing: Fem!Reader x Sirius (post books so they’re slightly older)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: misunderstandings, mention of pregnancy/getting pregnant

*

Two wars. You had survived two wars against the most powerful dark wizard ever and had no inclination to tell your longtime friend you loved him. You'd been head over heels for Sirius Black for the better part of two decades yet opted to keep your feelings to yourself – stating something about the timing not being right. But if not during a war – nay, two wars – when would the time be right? You'd been with other people, trying to get over the raven-haired beauty yet no one ever made you feel anything close to what you did with him.

He'd served years in Azkaban, convicted of some of the most heinous crimes against muggles and the reason behind his best friends death, but you knew he was innocent. Sirius Black was a lot of things but a traitor was not one of them. Now, years later, he was finally free – an innocent man to the world. Once the dark lord was defeated again, and things started to calm down, 12 Grimmauld Place wasn't needed for the order anymore so you insisted on helping Sirius clean it up.

Though you couldn't wash away the painful memories of his childhood, it didn't mean you couldn't try. Harry was old enough to live on his own now but after years apart he and Sirius wanted to catch up on lost time. The first order of business you planned was putting that horrid painting of Mrs. Black in the basement. It took a lot of spells to detach her from the wall but the relief that came across Sirius' face once she was gone was worth it. The two of you worked together tirelessly to bring brightness into the home for the first time since it was built. The Black family tree tapestry was peeled off and replaced with a fresh coat of white paint and a photo wall.

Photos of James, Lily, Marlene and other friends lost over the years lined the wall and memories flooded your senses. There were moments in time captured that reminded you of easier days. Your times at Hogwarts. Your summers at the Potters. You, Sirius and Remus, admired your handy work on the wall. You three had lost so much but the thankfulness you felt to still have each other was beyond you. Sirius wrapped his arm around you and pressed a kiss to your temple. Remus excused himself to spend time with Teddy, leaving you and your love alone. "Should we start clearing out some of the rooms?" You suggested despite not wanting to leave Sirius' side just yet.

He hummed in confirmation before (rather reluctantly) letting you go. The house had been empty and cold for years so in an attempt to revive it Harry, Remus, Tonks and baby Teddy were due to move in. You two started with the guest room that would become a nursery for Teddy. Magic made cleaning much easier but being around Sirius meant more time joking around than actually being productive.

"This whole bloody house smells like dirty boxes." He said with a huff and a wave of his hand to open the window.

The two of you sat for longer than you'd like to admit trying to put a crib together the muggle way. Soon you gave up and used magic, much to Sirius' dismay who insisted "it'll just be 5 more minutes". With a wave of your wand, the walls were coloured a soft sage green compared to the drab mud brown it was before. Things were finally coming together.

"Do you wonder what it's like?" Sirius asked as he set a few toys out onto the shelves.

"What what's like?" You asked from your spot at the bookshelf.

"Being a parent." He clarified.

You shrugged and put down your copy of ABCs with Merlin. "I suppose... I kind of assume I won't have kids. I'm too old now."

"Nonsense!" He replied quickly.

You raised your brows and crossed your arms. "I know you're about to mention something about Moony but shall I remind you he didn't carry the child?" You countered.

"You make it sound like you're ancient." He scoffed. "Don't rule it out, darling."

You let out a laugh and returned to your task of sorting the shelves. "It takes two to have a baby and I don't exactly have a lineup of people wanting to impregnate me.”

"I sure hope not." He said incredulously. "Now, what colour should the walls in the master room be?"

You furrowed your brows. What on earth did he mean by I sure hope not? Instead of letting yourself dwell on it later, you decided to outright ask him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked perplexed. "What? The colour of the master room?"

"No, no... that you sure hope there isn't people lined up for me?" You said crossing your arms a tad defensively.

Sirius, to put things simply, had a habit of being rude sometimes without realizing it. So, you were expecting a backhanded comment about your looks or a joke about how long you've been single. "Well, wouldn't exactly be the best for my odds." He said with a chuckle. "Now, the room colour." He repeated holding the swatches up.

"To hell with the swatches Sirius! What are you talking about!" You all but yelled at him. Was this a joke? Did he find out you were in love with him and decided to subtly tease you about it? How had he even figured it out? You felt yourself going into overdrive. You were going to kill Moony. He had to be the one to tell him after all!

"The swatch is for your room too so it does matter," Sirius said bewildered.

"What?"

"What?" He repeated making you huff. He could be so frustrating sometimes.

"What do you mean my room?"

"Well, it's gonna be our room." He clarified.

You were surprised if that's what you could call it. Sirius thought you were moving in? And sharing a room with him? What on earth was happening? "Sirius, I'm not living here? I thought it was just you, Harry and Moonys family?"

"What? Why? It's meant to be a family home!" He protested with a pout that reminded you of the ones he wore as a student not getting his way with Professor McGonagall.

"We don't have room for me if Teddy has his own room. He'll need one as he grows up." You explained.

"That makes no sense! We would share a room."

"Why the hell would we share a room? We're adults we can't just be dormmates like we're kids." You said and he gave you a disgruntled look. “We've been sharing beds for 20 years why does it matter now?" He rebutted and crossed his arms.

"Don't you want privacy?" You asked.

"For what? We're dating so I don't see why you're being so weird about this."

Now that shocked you.

"DATING?" You shouted and he chuckled softly as he took a step towards you. "Since bloody when?"

"Well, we've had a weird relationship for 20 years I just assumed? Two wars change people." He said and you gaped at him.

"Bloody hell Sirius." You said rubbing your temples. This was not how you expected to find out your feelings were returned. Was this his loneliness speaking? His trauma?

"I'm sorry if I overstepped in thinking that..." He said rubbing the back of his neck and losing his confidence. He became sheepish under your scrutiny. Maybe it wasn't so outlandish of him to assume that. You two did kiss and cuddle a fair bit more than the average friends. But Sirius had always been fond of physical affection with his friends and you chalked it up to that. You honestly never expected him to feel the same way you did.

"I-" You began before swallowing down in an attempt to collect your thoughts. "-You weren't wrong. I just never really thought you'd feel that way about me."

He scoffed. "I've felt that way since we were in 5th year!"

"That makes no bloody sense! You hooked up with half the damn school but didn't look at me." You scoffed back.

"Because I was trying to hide my feelings like a dumb teenage boy! It killed me seeing you all over Peter so I deflected the only way I knew how." He countered. You rolled your eyes. You and Peter had gone out twice before realizing you were better off as friends.

"You don't get to do this Sirius. You can't just say you've liked me for more than 20 damn years and not made a move." You said pointing your finger at him accusingly.

"Need I remind you I was in prison for half of it. And I just asked what colour you want our room to be." He replied with a huff.

You were silent. He wasn't wrong after all but in your overflow of emotions, you chose to place all the blame on him. "I..." You looked down. "I'm sorry. I just always thought I wasn't your type."

He took a step closer and gently held your shoulders. "It's my fault for not letting you know how utterly in love with you I am."

Hearing those words come out of his mouth shot electricity through your body. It was a euphoric feeling you could definitely get used to feeling all the time. You looked up at him and cupped his cheek softly. For the first time, you realized the way you looked at him was the same way he looked at you: with utter love and devotion. You were so worried about not letting your feelings for him spill that you didn't realize you'd been dating the man of your dreams this whole time. The man you'd longed for but thought was unattainable.

"I love you too..." You said through happy tears. "I have for so long."

"Now darling, what colour for our bedroom?" He said with a perfect smirk and a kiss to your temple.

It took two wars but you and Sirius were creating the silly little family you always dreamed of.

*

taglist: @writing-wh0re​

[migilini]

I Do - Charlie Gillespie

a/n: I watched to many seasons of married at first sight and this came to mind. Just pretend that Charlie in this GIF is wearing a suit. Kinda a part two to Fifth Time Workes A Charm

Requests are open btw! (not just for Charlie)

words: 3k

warnings: none just fluff and a lot of crying

MASTERLIST

---------------------------------------------

You barely slept during the night. You kept waking up what felt like every hour to check if it was time to get up. The bed felt awfully empty and you would give everything right now to be in his arms. Then finally, the clock strikes 9 am and you are up on your feet, the nerves getting the better of you. The hotel room was nice and clean, you didn't like it, it felt too white and too lifeless to you right now.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, glowing but tired eyes staring right back at you. Taking a deep breath you tried to shake the nerves with a silly little body shake, then you smiled at yourself before heading into the bathroom to wash your face.

A knock on the door interrupted you mid-splash and you went to the door with a dripping face. “We’ve arrived!” your best friend Elouise or Eli for short exclaimed and hieved her whole baggage onto your bed. “What do you mean we?” you leaned your head out of the room and into the empty hallway. Just as you were about to close the door, feet pounded on the carpeted floor. “Sorry, sorry! Had to finish the call with hair and makeup.” Tris, your other best friend screamed through the halls, as she frantically came running towards you, phone clutched in one hand while the other held two dresses that flattered behind her.

You looked at her in amusement "Need a glass of water?" You chuckled at her heavy breathing and closed the door behind you.

"Oh yes please"

"Y/N you're so not ready...well lucky for you we are here. So hop hop go shower ma lady." Eli shushed you into the bathroom "and scrub every inch! I'll check if I have to!” You still heard their laughter as you get rid of your clothes and step into the shower. The warm water relaxed your muscles and your nerves immediately.

Several minutes later, now smelling like a goddess and wrapped into a soft white towel, you sat on the bed in your now crowded hotel room. While you were showering your nerves away, your dress, the hairdresser and makeup artist arrived.

“There she is!” greeted the makeup artist “Come sit down, we’ve got everything out and you and I already discussed your look. Are we still okay with it?”

“Yes, Carlos. But make everything as cry proof as possible okay?” you said laughing slightly.

“I also brought you a coffee and a croissant. I know you don’t usually eat something in the mornings but we don’t want you to faint now do we?” Tris held a tablet in front of her with several cups of coffees and something to eat. You took a cup gratefully, shooting her a quick thanks, holding the cup as Carlos started on your face and Melissa, the hairdresser started drying and styling your hair.

“Can I have my phone back?” You said to no one in particular.

“Nope, sorry.”

“Emi! What--It’s my phone!”

“I do know that. And you should know that Tris and I know you very well and you would’ve called or more likely face timed him by now and put a bad omen over the whole day.”

“Yeah. You and Charlie can’t be away from each other for long.” Tris acknowledged and sided with Emi.

“You’re just jealous that I’m in love.” You shot back with a smile and stuck your tongue out at your friends which in return gave you a growl from Carlos and Melissa who needed you to sit still.

After what felt like an eternity you were done and now it was time for your bridesmaids to get ready. They purposefully taped a piece of cloth over all mirrors so could only see yourself when you were 100% finished with getting ready.

Now that you had some time to actually think about today, your mind started to wander. Was Charlie ready by now or were there some complications? Tris did get a call earlier to then just run out of the room and come back 20 minutes later. What suit would he wear? Was he just as nervous as you? Totally unaware of how much time you passed, you were ripped out of your thoughts with a forceful swat on your shoulder.

“Miss Bride? It’s time to get the dress on.” Tris squealed.

You took a look at your best friends who looked absolutely stunning, at some time they got changed into their dresses. Emi smiled at you with a glossed lipped smile, her brown hair up in a bun while little strands of glitter strings framed her face. She wore a turquoise halter dress with some nude heels. Tris wore a bit of a darker turquoise strapless dress, her colourful hair falling straight over her shoulder. Both had simple makeup, a nude smokey eye with eyeliner.

Your eyes started to tear up. “Guys...you look absolutely stunning.” Emi walked over to you and embraced you in a hug. “We look really fudhing good but you’re gonna look even better. Now hop hop get undressed we have to lace up the dress.”

While your friends were working on lacing your dress up, you wondered out loud. “How much do we wanna bet that Owen lost the rings?” You chuckled and then yelled, “That's way too tight!”

“Oh Owen is so gonna lose the rings but we'll be fine. You’re gonna have rings or I'll run and get you some new ones.” Tris reassured you with a smile.

“Can I finally look at myself? I want to see if I look like a bride.” Emi and Tris shared a quick look before agreeing. Emi ripped the cloth away from the closest mirror. An audible gasp was all that was heard, everybody fixated on your reaction to yourself.

“I look like a real ass bride. I- oh my god… I look so good.” You coaxed out, trying not to cry, this got all a bit real too fast.

And you really did look amazing. Your open hair fell over your shoulders and ended right underneath your boob. It had a lot of volume and little glitter braids in it and Melissa had curled them to perfection so they framed your face perfectly. Your makeup was stunning as well, the reddish-brown and glittery smokey eye complementing your skin tone and eye colour. Carlos finished the look with a pinkish nude lipstick. You were glowing.

The cream coloured dress sat perfectly on your figure, the A-line cut highlighting your waist, the flowery lace flowing from the corset top down to your feet. The dress was poofy but not too much. You looked more like Sofie from Mamma Mia and less like Cinderella. You adjusted the straps and smiled at yourself.

“And I’m telling you, Charlie will bawl his eyes out when he sees you.” Emi patted your back and finished lacing up your dress. Tris couldn't contain herself anymore and let out a little sob “I’m sorry. You just look so gorgeous. I can’t believe you're getting married.” You pulled her into a hug.

“We don't have that much time anymore. the photographer should be here in five minutes to take your bridal pictures and pictures with the bridesmaids.”

The photo session went by quickly and you could tell that they turned out amazingly, by the way, Paul, the photographer, smiled at his screen. Megan, Charlie's sister and your other Bridesmaid came in at the last minute, due to the fact that she just flew in in the morning.

Then it was time for the first look. At first, you weren't sure if you should do this or if it would be better if the first look would be at the ceremony itself. You thought it would be funny to send Tris to the first look instead of you. So you, Megan and Emi sat in the hotel room waiting patiently.

The door opened “You two are really made for each other.” Tris came back in with a huge smile on her face. “Why? What happened?” You asked, the nervousness in your voice was evident. “Was he mad?”. She started to laugh “No absolutely not because he had the same idea as you and sent Owen.”

The room erupted in laughter “Oh no he didn't!” “Of course he did”

The next couple of hours flew by so quickly. You got to the venue. Your parents came by to say hello to you and to shed some tears. They also told you that most of the guests have arrived and everybody is waiting excitedly.

Finally, it was time. You nervously cracked your fingers, as you waited for all the guests to take a seat, the closed door in front of you the only thing shielding you from your fiance, your dad standing beside you in a suit.

“Nervous?” he asked you with a slight smile, you could tell that he was trying hard not to cry.

“Very. But I’m telling you if he doesn't cry I'll turn around and we gotta try again.” you joked.

“Oh my dear...he will.” he quickly took a look at his watch and then linked his arm with yours.

“Ready?” you shot him a smile and nodded “As ready as I'll ever be.”

The outside speakers started to play the instrumental version of Cherry Wine by Hozier and the doors opened.

It was mid-May and you and Charlie decided on an Outside wedding. After searching for a great venue you finally found one. It was an old brick house with a small colonnade of bushes in the garden. It was absolutely perfect but you didn't even look at the decorations because as soon as your eyes met his, the world stood still.

He stood at the front of the colonnade where some candles burned beside him. He wore a forest green tuxedo and that dashing smile of his. The closer you got, the more you saw how much he was crying and all you wanted to do is hug him and wipe the tears away. Your cheeks hurt from all the smiling but you couldn't stop, some tears of your own spilling out of the corners of your eyes.

You kissed your dad on the cheek and let him sit down in the front row, your eyes only momentarily leaving Charlies. “Hi, handsome.” You smiled up at him and instinctively used your thumb to wipe away some tears. “Did you cut your hair?” you asked, nodding to his now chin-length hair (think October Charlie) He grabbed your hands in his and kissed your knuckles while slightly nodding his head “You look...just wow,” he whispered so that only you could hear. You just wanted to give him a compliment when the officiant interrupted you.

“Now it's getting serious.” you said while he said “No backing out.” with a wink.

“The couple standing in front of me met at the young age of 18 in the middle of the street. Y/N bumped into Charlie here and practically fell for him right there and then. She shot him a quick sorry and went her way but the universe knew that these two needed to be together so the next day he bumped into her, totally accidental of course.” the crowd laughed and you and Charlie beamed at each other. “Sadly for Y/N that day she carried an expensive Cake that flew to the other side of the pavement. Charlie felt so bad that he promptly invited her to the next bakery where they got a cup of coffee and a new cake. Today we’re gathered here today to celebrate that love.”

“I believe that the two of you wrote your own vows? Y/N would you like to start?” You nodded and turned around to take a piece of paper from Emi who stood behind you, already missing the warmth of his hands in yours.

“Charlie, you know I’m not very good with words so I really struggled to write this, but here we are standing in front of your family and friends to share our love. I knew I loved you…” your voice wavered and you let out a sob “sorry...I knew I loved you in the first week that we’ve met. We sat on a bench in the little park right around the corner from where we met. You were late and totally out of breath when you arrived. You apologized like crazy but I didn't care, you don't know this but I had a really shitty day that day and just seeing you made it all worth it. That smile of yours knocked me off my feet completely.

From that day on I only loved you more and more. I love the way you try to wake up every day with a smile. The way you always seem to have so much energy and that you try to share that energy and love with the whole world. I love waking up in your arms because they feel like home and I miss you like crazy when I don't see you for a day.

I never really believed in love at first sight before I met you and I’m so glad that you ruined my cake. I promise to try and make you smile at least twice a day, to listen and care for you, to dance with you in the kitchen while our pizza is in the oven. I also promise to try your questionable food combinations at least once every time.

I can’t promise you that we won't fight or that we won't have our ups and downs but I will promise that we’ll work it out, that we’re not going to bed with grudges, to talk about our problems and thoughts and to always make up. I promise to be your partner in crime and to take all the blame if we ever get caught and lastly, and most importantly...

I promise to love you more and more until my heart stops beating, even when the day comes that we're old and grey, I promise to always see you with the same eyes and the same heart that I see you with at this exact moment.” You took a deep breath to try and stop your sobbing. Now it was Charlie's turn to wipe away some tears.

“Baby, don’t cry your makeup will get ruined.” he joked and you let out a small laugh. “Charlie, I believe now it's your turn to speak your vow.”

He took a shaky breath in before taking a folded piece of paper from the inside of his tuxedo pocket. “I want to start off with a simple I love you. I love the way you still give me butterflies every time I see you. I love the way you care not only for me but for everyone around you. I love the way you're patient with me. I love how much you're willing to try new things with me to make me happy because you really didn't like swimming with sharks. I admire how hard you work to help others and above all, I love how you love me.

It's in the way you look at me with such patience and compassion, the way you listen to me even if I'm rambling on, the way you push me to try harder even when I feel like I've done enough. You love me without judgment and chose to see the beauty in my flaws. Today, I want to make promises to you that I will always keep. I promise to love you back forever and harder each day. I promise never to get angry at you for making honest mistakes, even if I asked you to turn the lights off every night for the past week...

I promise to never stop holding your hand or give you a goodbye kiss. I promise to walk through life, as your biggest fan, your shoulder to lean on, and your best friend and I vow to stay silly, to never take ourselves too seriously, and stay just immature enough for cake and breakfast for dinner.

You're my soldier, my lover and above all, my best friend and I'm so excited to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Both of you were grinning and crying like idiots. “Now can we have the rings please?” the officiant asked the crowd and a teary-eyed Owen stepped forward the rings clutched in his hands.

“Thank you.” the officiant gave each of you a ring. “Do you Y/N Y/L/ want to take this man as your husband in sickness and in health?”

“I do.” You smiled up at Charlie and slid the ring on his left ring finger. “Oh good it fits,” you murmured and made him chuckle.

“And do you Charlie Gillespie want to take this woman as your wife in sickness and in health?”

“I do.” He grinned widely and also slid the ring on your left hand.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Charlie, you may kiss the bride.” Your lips locked with his and you couldn't be happier. Your hands found their way into his hair while his hands gripped your waist. His lips were soft and warm and you missed them dearly in the night the two of you were apart. The crowd cheered when he dipped you.

“I present to you for the first time Mr and Mrs Gillespie!”

[siriushxney]

* . PAPER RINGS !

pairing — lando norris x reader

rating — fluff

wordcount — 2.3k

warnings — cursing (it's me who are we kidding)

song — taylor swift | paper rings

note ! — before y'all jump down my throat about "what the hell is a toque” — it's a hat. us canadians call it a toque. also this is long overdue, but I hope you like it!

when the light of day melted into the dark of night, and long, tiring shifts slowly came to an end, it wasn't an odd sight to see large groups of people piling into bars for a drink or several. with an extra hour and a half added onto your normal shift time due to your bosses inability to do what he was supposed to do — leaving stacks of paperwork you had to go through, along with a few of your other colleagues.

now walking into the packed bar — bags long forgotten in your cars, you couldn't find it in yourself to cringe at the strong smell of alcohol that burned your nose as you walked through the door, nor did you care for the way the heels of your feet stuck to the ground with every step you took.

after a day like today, you weren't sure if you'd mind anything.

sheila — one of your colleagues raised a stiff hand and slammed it down on the counter, gaining the attention of the bartender. “we need like, fifteen shots stat!” the bartender immediately got to work, pouring glass after glass — sliding them in front of the five of you, before turning to serve another guest.

“that asshole gonna get my foot down his throat if he dumps that much paperwork on us again,” she downed her first shot and reached for another one, “all of that should have been sorted out in the morning, not thrown onto us as we were packing up,” the rest of you agreed, downing a shot quickly as you tried to keep up with the loud mouthed girl.

you turned your head away from the conversation that had started between the others, choosing to stare curiously at the screen in the corner displaying reruns of a race that took place today.

feeling a body skim yours as a group of men slid into the barspace to the left of you — a majority of them sporting an orange and blue item of clothing, something you had connected quickly to the orange and blue car that had been on screen moments earlier.

looking back to the tv hanging from the ceiling, you tried to wrap your head around what all the numbers meant — a small bump caused you to look down, a younger man of the bunch staring at the tv proudly, “do you watch f1?” he turned his head to look at you as he finished asking his question.

f1... Is that what this was called?

“no, but I'd rather watch that then the football game that's on,” the boy looked at you with wide eyes, slightly in awe of how blunt you were. he nodded slightly before turning his attention back to the tv. “ I assume you do. you're wearing the colours of one of the cars,” you felt bad as you watched the boy curl into himself slightly.

ha looked over to you once again — “you can say that,” his eyes glinted a little bit as he spoke, a proud smirk coming across his face as he leaned in closer, not close enough to make you uncomfortable, but close enough that he could speak without the bar hearing. “I race for them — see that orange and blue mclaren? thats me.”

that was definitely more interesting than the news.

“so what might that mclaren driver's name be?” his head turned back to you, a slight red tint covering his cheeks, and climbing to the tips of his ears.

with a single hand outstretched to you, he introduced himself, “I’m lando norris — and who might you be?”

“Y/N.”

—

that day had happened a few months ago — and in that time, your friendship with the young driver had only progressed.

days you used to spend simply reading in the comfort of your own home, was now spent bouncing from bookshop from book shop — lando recommending you all the books that he had been in love with at the moment.

you had to refrain from telling him you had already read them, having looked him up on instagram a day or two after the initial meet — the photo of him cozy and comfortable in his bed with the stack of books perfectly visible to his side.

the types of books a person read could tell you a lot about their character — and with lando, it was all good things.

“okay, and then this one is semi based on a true story — like half true but has a lot of action and drama sprinkled in there-” he rambled on about the book he held in his hands, his eyes darting between you and it as his hands ran over the spine and pages of the book.

even knowing the writer, plot, and ending — you couldn't bring yourself to put an end to his ramblings. instead, you stood to his side and nodded eagerly as he spoke words with such excitement.

for any other person, you would have cut them off and told them that you had read it — but for some reason, cutting lando off was the last thing you wanted to do. he wasn't the famous young driver for mclaren who was always eager for a challenge on the track. he was just lando.

the boy who had a mini library growing in his room, filled with books from every genre. he was the boy with the odd affinity for milk. he was just normal.

and for the first time in your life — normal felt nice.

—

“lando, you're insane.”

“maybe a little bit, but insane is fun sometimes.”

when lando said he had something fun in mind for the two of you to do, the last place you expected to end up was on the shore of an ice cold lake — the wind blowing harshly against your body, making it sway slightly with the force.

lando had already taken off his jacket, now standing in just his shirt and bottoms.

“I’m not going in that,” you backed away from the boy as he stripped more and more of his clothes off, dropping them in a neat pile on the ground.

he shrugged, pausing in his action of removing his jeans, “are you not going in because its cold, or are you not going in because you don't have a swim suit?” while the lake technically was still warm enough for swimming, the thought of the water 's temperature that was lowering daily paired with the strong winds, didn’t exactly spark excitement in you.

“both.”

“it’s either your coming in by your own will, or I’m dragging you in.”

“you touch me and I’ll hurt you — that’s a promise.”

a mischievous glint appears in lando’s eyes — he knew what he was about to do was going to get him in trouble, and most likely hurt in the end, but the thought of doing it overpowered his thoughts about what would happen after.

there was no going back.

in a split second lando had his arms wrapped around your waist as he dragged you closer to the lake — despite the heels of your feet digging into the ground, he had still succeeded in getting you close enough that if he threw his body weight towards the water, you would soon follow.

and that’s exactly what he did.

a laugh from lando, a squeal from you, and the whooshing of the air rushing past your ears was all you could hear before you found yourself submerged under the cold water.

you clawed your way back to the surface with the help of lando’s arms, which were still wrapped around your waist — as soon as you felt the coldness of the air reach your face, you were turning in his arms and swinging.

“I’m fully clothed you asshole!” you brought a fist down lightly on the top of his head — the water squishing out at the action.

“stop- don’t- stop hitting me!” lando laughed as he let you go, swimming backwards slightly as a way to get away from your violent swings. “I know that you're fully clothed- that's what makes it so funny,” the curly haired boy couldn't contain his laughter at the end — his voice railing into the squeaky laugher that you had come to love.

without the support of lando, paired with the additional weight of your heavy winter coat and soaked wool toque and mittens, you began to struggle slightly to stay afloat. “lando-” the water climbed its way up your face before washing back down as you kicked harder.

his laugher stopped as he kicked his way over to you — grabbing around your waist once more and holding you to his body.

with the distance closed between the two of you, the feeling of his warm breath against your face was unavoidable — as well as the feeling of the heat radiating from his body, even through the layers you had on. neither of you spoke, both trying not to move — for every movement brought a wave of discomfort with your muscles tensed up from the cold. but as time started to tick slower, and all you could feel was the other — the last thing on both of your minds was the temperature of the water.

“you’re turning blue, lando,” as much as you wished you would've stayed in that position forever, the sight of lando’s cheeks and lips draining of its naturally pink colour concerned you. even with layers upon layers of clothes on, you found yourself shivering — and with lando in nothing but his boxers, you doubted he was doing much better than you. “I think right now is a good time to get out,” lando didnt reply, only bringing the two of you closer to the shore.

with chattering teeth, bodies curled in, and fast feet, lando and you made your way to his car — both jumping in the minute you could get your hands on the door handle. neither of you cared for the seats wetting as you sat down.

“I think I have some towels in the back from my training — can you grab them? I’ll get the heat and everything going,” you leaned into the back of the car to the best of your ability, pulling two towels out of an orange gym bag, and bringing them to the front where lando and you sat.

lando wrapped the towel around his shoulders — the shaking constant and harsh, rocking his body violently.

“I would say I told you so, but I feel too bad to even insult you,” with your jacket, toque, and mittens stippped off and thrown onto the floor, you wrapped your towel around your shoulders much like lando had.

“awe, youre so considerate — I didn’t think it through.”

“trust me — I can tell.”

the sound of the heaters on blast and the clattering of teeth was all that filled the car. lando had seemed aggravated at your comment — the way his body turned slightly away from your own, his eyes never meeting yours, and the fact that there was no laugh following or during his words.

what had you said or done that pissed him off?

“are you mad at me?”

lando turned slowly, his eyes still not fully meeting yours — but he looked like he was less angry and more conflicted. “I’m not mad, I’m just- just,” the words were on the tip of his tongue, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to say them. “forget it.”

“no, I wanna know what's wrong — please tell me?”

he angled his body to face yours after a few moments of no response, making it so him and you looked at eachother with ease. “back out there on the lake- did you… did you feel anything?” your body tensed at his question — it was the last thing that you thought would come out of his mouth, so it took you by surprise. “because I know I did — and that scares me.”

you struggled to find a string of words that made sense to you, “I mean, yeah I guess I did — what did you feel? just so I can make sure that I felt the same thing.”

“I felt like I wanted to stay in that position forever — like I wanted to kiss you,” the words he spoke were soft and genuine. “all I felt was you.”

it had taken months for you to put a name to the feelings you had when you were around the british boy, but now, more than ever, did you finally know what they were.

they were love.

“I felt the same thing — all that I could feel was you and your stupidly perfect body against mine,” both of you giggled slightly at that. “and all that was running through my head was that if you had asked me to do anything with you, I would have done it — hell you could have asked me to marry you with paper rings and I would’ve said yes.”

lando stared at you with a calm look on his face — his eyes drinking you and all of your features in. “I’m glad — because I was thinking the same thing,” his hand fell on top of yours, bringing a warmth to the back of it. “and no need for paper rings when I can promise you the real deal when the time comes.”

“like I said before, I would marry you with paper rings lando,” you leaned in slightly, your voice barely above a whisper. “now kiss me you goof.”

he didn’t have to be asked twice.

[ssamie]

ten. “greatest desire”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide, guns & cementaries

masterlist.      suicide freak!

"uh hi.. i know we don't really know each other that much.." atsushi started off. the boy had a nervous smile on his face as he stiffly waves at kenma, with tanizaki and naomi by his side 

"but have you seen y/n-san?" atsushi asked 

"y/n? why, what happened to her?" kenma asked worriedly 

atsushi, tanizaki and naomi were stood in front of nekoma's gym, trying to look for the girl, as per the president's wishes. "its been about a day since you guys went out to the arcade, right?" tanizaki chimed in "has she shown herself to you, or atleast texted any of you?" 

kenma frowned as he shook his head no. he looked back at the team who were trying to act like they weren't eavesdropping. 

"no.. i just assumed she was busy with work" kenma muttered 

"hmm, i tried to ask ranpo-san but he's too busy" naomi chimed in as she hugged tanizaki's arm to her chest 

"oya oya, sorry to barge in on the conversation-" kuroo interjected. the captain had a sly grin on his face as he walked towards the group. "but we just so happen to overhear something about our manager going missing?" kuroo mused 

"yes, sorry if we're intruding" atsushi bowed 

"but y/n-san went missing again, and the president ordered us to find her in under four hours" tanizaki sighed 

"or else we get our asses handed to us" atsushi shuddered 

kuroo and kenma gave each other a look and nodded along. "we'll try to look for her later" kuroo said "we'll let you guys know" 

"thank you so much!" atsushi exclaimed with a smile "would you mind calling the agency if you find her?" he said as he handed them a piece of paper with the agency's number 

"its really hard tracking her down" tanizaki says with a chuckle "when she chooses to disappear, it's like she never existed in the first place" 

"anyways, we'll be on our way" atsushi excused "we've troubled you long enough" 

"its no problem.." kenma muttered 

naomi waved them goodbye as they walked away. the duo waving back meekly as they watch their retreating figures disappear. 

"hey, you okay?" kuroo nudged his friend kenma nodded and looked down at his shoes "yeah.." 

"i think i'll go look for her now" kenma muttered "eh? kenma, we could just go later" kuroo said with a raised brow 

"im going. bye" kenma muttered, completely disregarding kuroo as he went straight out the door 

"where's he going?" yaku asked as he peeked his head out the gym doors "he's gonna look for y/n" kuroo answered 

"damn. what a simp" yamamoto sneered 

"wow. that's rich coming from you." 

"i swear to god.." kenma grumbled "if she ends up getting found in a ditch and i wasted all that time running around for nothing.." he scoffed 

he's been running around the streets of tokyo, passing through every street and alleyway to try and look for the girl. so far he hasn't seen a single trace of her, not even a single person who has managed to pass by her. 

"y/n.." kenma huffed out. he was currently by a riverbank, leaning against the metal railings of the bridge while he tried to catch his breath. 

"you called?" 

kenma jumped at the sudden emission of her oh-so-familiar voice, and turned around to face her "what the- y/n?! where did you come from?!" kenma shrieked out 

"also, where have you been?! atsushi-kun and a bunch of people from your job came to the school today looking for you" he said 

y/n chuckled and strode over to his side, jumping over the rails and sitting on the flat surface of the bars. "if i told you that the port mafia took me hostage and threatened to execute me, would you believe it?" she mused 

"no." 

"then i won't bother to say" she shrugged 

kenma eyed her warily. her port mafia story could actually be believable, now that he thought about it. given as, her bandages were loosened and torn, almost as if they broke off with too much movement. and along with the dried blood resting upon her cheeks and hands. 

"are you okay?" kenma asked worriedly 

even if it was believable, it could've been just her trying to kill herself yet again. not that it was any better

"of course" she smiled "though my body is a bit sore.. chuuya really doesn't hold back"

kenma froze and slowly turned his head towards her with a blank and emotionless look on his face. 

"chuuya doesn't what." kenma spat out "did you seriously disappear to hook up with that dog? that-that man child? that eyesore? that-" 

"what are you talking about?" she laughed

kenma huffed and propped his elbow on the cold metal, resting his chin on his hand as he pouted 

"you're really funny, kenma-kun" she mused 

"really? cause im not laughing." kenma grumbled "i ran around the whole city for you, only to find out you ran off with some guy" his honey hued orbs eyed her down, watching her chuckle softly as the golden rays of the sun illuminated the surroundings around her

"y/n.." he mumbled "why did you really disappear?" 

"i already told you" she replied with a sigh "the port mafia is truly a force to reckon with" 

"that's why you gotta stay safe, kenma-kun" she mused "you never know who and when they'll strike next" 

kenma sighed and nodded along. it was old news -- the port mafia, that is -- its been stirring up the whole city for the past few months. 

"ne, kenma-kun" she called out "if we do end up dying alongside each other, i suggest we drown ourselves in this river." she said 

she stared down at the flowing water, the golden colour of the setting sun reflecting off of it. "its clear and pretty, not much people are around.. its quite tranquil." she hummed

"i never really understood this.." kenma muttered "but why are you so intent on dying?" 

"and i never understood you, and so many others." she replied "tell me, kenma.." she turned to face him, her bandaged hands loosely gripping the railings, as her legs and feet dangle off the ledge. 

"do you really think there's any value in the act of living?" 

kenma didn't answer. instead he stared at her, and her clouded eyes, each orb holding an unforgivable amount of sin and deciet that he could only imagine. 

"well.. is there any value in the act of dying?" he asked back 

she blinked dumbfoundedly at him, fairly shocked at his question. 

"isn't there anything else you desire? life is kinda cool too yaknow?" kenma said in a sheepish tone 

she stared at him a few minutes longer before averting her gaze. she chuckled and closed her eyes as the cold wind breezed past. "man fears death, and at the same time, man is drawn to death" she said 

"its a singular event in one's life that no one may reverse" she hummed "and that is my greatest desire." 

kenma didn't know how to reply to that, so he didn't. he simply looked down up at the setting sun, letting silence wash upon them both. 

"hey kenma" she called out. kenma looked at her, curious and wary. "yes?" he asked 

"wanna hang with an old friend with me?" she suggested with a soft smile

"me? won't that be intrusive though? i don't really know them.." kenma muttered nervously

"it's fine. he'd probably be happy i even talk to people my age" she said with a chuckle. she jumped off the railings and landed on the ground with a grin. she stretched her aching arms over her head and patted kenma's back. 

"he's a lot like you" she mused "always saying life is worth living and all.." 

"okay then.." kenma agreed reluctantly "but if i sense that person doesn't like me one bit, im leaving." he groaned out

"im pretty sure that won't happen" she chuckled sheepishly 

"why are we in a cementary?" kenma grumbled 

"is this where you kill us both?" he scoffed playfully "i wouldn't be surprised if you already have a hole dug for us" 

she chuckled and shook her head "no, no" she mused "were just taking a small stroll" she cooed as she looked around the awfully empty surrounding  "ah! there it is" she perked up "it's been so long since i went here that i almost forgot my way around" 

kenma followed her as she skipped away, though he was quite confused, he didn't question her. 

"hurry, kenma" she called out as she watched him struggle to walk faster "i hate you" he grumbled back, which she chose to ignore 

she smiled softly as she stood infront of the oh-so-familiar grave. 

"geez." she mumbled "its been so long since we hung out, odasaku" 

"shame we couldn't meet at the usual place" she chuckled and sat down on the grassy ground. she leaned back on the gravestone, resting her back against it as she waited for kenma to arrive 

"y/n?" on cue, kenma chimed in. he was panting slightly, most likely from running and walking around for so long "what are you doing?" kenma raised a brow at her 

"kozume kenma-kun.." she called out

"yes?" he asnwered

"do you know whose grave this is?" she mused, pointing her thumb to the gravestone she was leaning on 

kenma eyed the name engraved on the stone and shook his head. "no..but it's someone dear to you, right?" 

"what makes you think that?" she hummed out in amusement 

"i've never seen you pay visit to a grave before" kenma muttered. the pudding head hesitantly sat down infront of her, bowing at the grave before settling down on the ground. 

"does it look like im visiting a grave to you?" she asked with curiosity 

"it does.. why?"

she smiled softly and leaned her head back, letting it fall and her eyes to land straight at the cloudy sky "well, i thought of it as hanging out with a friend but.." she trailed off 

"i guess that works too" she sighed out 

kenma frowned as he watched her close her eyes. her smile faltering as a wave of comforting silence washed upon them. "im sorry" kenma muttered "i shouldn't have said anything.." 

"its fine." she chuckled "its been years since he died." she smiled bitterly "i guess it's time someone snaps me out of my daydreams" 

kenma didn't respond. he simply toyed with the grass on the ground and the few flowers littered around. 

"yaknow, kenma" she said with a smile "you're the first person i brought here" 

"me? why?" kenma asked in surprise and confusion 

"because this friend of mine was a good man." she said "he told me to try and look for my reason to live."

"and i think i found it" she whispered as he looked into his eyes 

kenma blinked in shock as he basked in her awfully heartwarming words. 

"my reason to live is to die with you." 

"of course. its gonna be about suicide again." kenma sighed dejectedly.  "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live.. then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive" kenma smiled at her, tucking his blond hair behind his ears as he kept his honey hued orbs trained on hers. 

"kenma.." she teared up 

she blinked repeatedly as she opened her mouth to speak. 

"i.. I DON'T WANT THAT! I WANNA DIE WITH YOU!" she whined loudly "i already had our suicide planned! i even suggested the whole river thing a while ago!" she exclaimed 

kenma deadpanned as he watched her ramble on and on about her ideal double suicide. "i really don't care." kenma groaned out "i don't want you to die." he whined "why do you keep trying to kill yourself" 

"just because, okay?!" 

"just for that, im gonna call your agency and hand you over" kenma sighed as he dialled the agency's number 

"traitor!" she shrieked "kunikida-kun will undoubtedly beat me up" kenma ignored her as he started speaking on the phone. 

"yes, she's with me.." he muttered "is she behaved?" he repeated the question as he sent her a pointed glare 

"no, not really" he scoffed 

"kenma, you're heartless!" she shrieked in horror 

"cmon. let's atleast pay respects to your friend before we leave" kenma said with a sigh "dont worry, kenma-kun! i already thought this through" she grinned. she then pulled out a bottle of sake and a book and placed it on the ground. 

"you brought him alcohol? seriously?" kenma furrowed his brows 

"hey, it's two of his favourite things, okay?" she defended with a laugh 

"do you know how ridiculous i looked while buying these things at the store?" she chuckled "they thought i was a madman or something!" 

"i would've too" kenma answered back 

"you're so mean to me, kenma" she pouted "anyways, we should go." she said as she dusted her pants and unravelled a thin layer of her torn bandages. 

"i can't wait to tell you about this suicide method i learned about." she beamed. she tugged on his arm and pulled him away as she continued to blabber on his ear "apparently this one does the job right away!" she exclaimed 

"can you believe it, kenma?" 

"wow. crazy." he replied dryly 

"yeah, and all we gotta do is shoot ourselves with these guns-" 

"no." 

"oh my, this almost feels like a welcome home party!" she cheered. she gave the detectives a close eyed smile while they simply stared back at her with a look of agitation and worry 

"where the hell were you?!" kunikida exclaimed angrily as he tapped his foot on the ground 

"the port mafia!" she answered back nonchalantly 

they all perked up in surprise from her claim. "huh?! the port mafia?!" 

"hai hai! but don't make a big deal about it!" she chuckled as she waved her hands dismissively 

"you could've died!" kunikida exclaimed  "now, now! i'd like to think of it as akutagawa-kun needing some attention that's all" she joked 

"jesus christ" kunikida sighed as he adjusted his glasses "that boy could kill you and you still won't take him seriously" 

"anyways, why is he here?" he asked as he pointed to kenma, who simply ignored him and avoided their eyes as he played on his phone 

"oh! he's the one who found me, so i thought it'd be right for me to repay him" she smiled brightly as she squeezed kenma to her chest, all while he unbotherdly continued on with his game

"i've thought of so many fun things we could do back in my dorm, hehehe~" she chuckled mischievously as kenma's face paled. she only gripped him tighter when he tried to scurry away. 

"i- i see.." kunikida stuttered out. he looked at them with wide eyes as she started squeezing him tighter while kenma tried to pry her off 

"y/n, you're strangling me!" kenma huffed out "i know!" she grinned 

"we'll leave you two alone then!" kenji said with his usual smile as he ushered the others away 

"they're worse than tanizaki-kun and naomi-san.." atsushi shuddered "that's because she's trying to kill him" tanizaki sweat dropped 

"and herself, as well" yosano sneered "go get your man!" she cheered as she sent y/n a sneaky wink 

"yosano-san! don't encourage her!"

[cherryatiny]

𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 - 𝐊.𝐇𝐉

⩥𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐜𝐞𝐫!𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳) 𝐱 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⩥𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥 𝐀𝐔

⩥𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟐,𝟏𝐤

⩥𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐜𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐲. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧?

⩥𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐩𝐬, 𝐭𝐨𝐱𝐢𝐜 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩, 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬, 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐜𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞-𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐩𝐬

⩥𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐍𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐃𝐏𝐑 𝐈𝐚𝐧

⩥𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲. 𝐈'𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

08.09.2021

Opening the door to their shared flat with shaky hands, blood dripping down his knuckled, the blonde male almost collapsed on the floor, his weakened legs failing to support him any more.

With a loud bang, his body fell on the cold floor, alerting his [insert colour]-haired girlfriend, that ran to the hallway, being met with a sight of his bloody figure laying on the floor half-unconscious, she let out a sharp yelp.

The girl fell to the ground, shaking her partner's body, to get any reaction from him. „Ah Hongjoongie, who did you get into a fight with this time...“

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, to help him lean on her so he could walk more easily, she directed her steps into the bathroom. Sitting him on its edge, she began to fill the bathtub with water, to wash off the blood and dirt of his body. „Y/N... I'm sorry“

Without words, she started unzipping his blood-soaked clothes, letting them fall to the ground, already used to having to deal with her boyfriend coming home almost beat-up to death.

Tears filled her eyes yet again as she thought about all those moments, where she was on the border of losing her lover. The aforementioned boy always just shrugging it off with cheap words of comfort.

And that's how their relationship went. He got into a fight, they argued, he felt guilty and made her a song, they made up, went through another short period of romance where they felt like those head over heels couples at the beginning of their relationship, and the endless cycle repeated itself once again.

Her partner undressed completely and sat in the bathtub, the water gaining a reddish tint from the blood that leaked from his wounds. Without a word, she got into the bathtub with him, not caring that her t-shirt or shorts would get soaked.

Grabbing a sponge that was laying near them, she rubbed the dirt off his body. Hongjoong inhaled, preparing himself to splash Y/N in apologies, but her voice cut him off.

„Please, don't make this harder than it already is, I don't need to hear your apologies, please just stay still until I clean you, so I can treat your wounds afterwards...“ Treating the fair skin of his hurt body, she sighed as she looked at her soaked clothes.

Does living like this even have a meaning? Does crying herself to sleep from how scared she is of losing her loved one when he doesn't even care, have meaning?

Sensing the broken expression in her deep eyes, his hand took her in his, playing with her fingers and kissing the top of her knuckles reassuringly.

„I'm sorry Y/N, I'm sorry for acting like a jerk and making you bawl your eyes out at nights. So many times I could've held on I still can't believe I left you alone. Left you alone to deal with all of this, when it's completely my fault. The fault of my inconsideration of your feelings. When you lie down tonight, please get a good sleep in which you forget of all those fights and stupid things I put you through. We'll start a new chapter, I promise.“

Liar.

These words of reassurance left his mouth every time he got into a fight and yet, it always happened again. Not being able to hold the tears in any longer, the clothed figure sitting next to him let out tears, pitiful whines leaving her lips.

„You say this every time, yet you always break the promise, so how can I believe you any longer?“

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

15.09.2021

Colourful leaves falling on the forest alley, the two jiggly walked down the path hand in hand, as they laughed and enjoyed each other's presence.

Approaching a small wooden bench, the two of them sat down on it, Hongjoong pulled his girlfriend into his lap, letting her back fall onto his chest, hugging her from behind.

The girl raised her legs and laid them on the bench, stretching them. Looking at her boots covered by the brownish mud, letting her head fall onto his shoulder. „Y/N?“ humming, she signalised him to continue with what he had to say.

„I made you a song. I realised how bad I was treating you, but I didn't know how to express my gratitude towards you and I'm sorry, I will sing this song to you. To tell you I really cared.“

His melodic voice audible for everyone passing them as he started singing, all the people just captured by those young lovers. Only if they knew, how heartsick their relationship was.

As his voice quietened, signalising the end of the song he composed for his girlfriend, he pulled her into a deep kiss, his hand holding her head in place, as his tongue explored all those forgotten places of her mouth.

„I hope you're not angry at me anymore.“ Shaking her head in disagreement, Hongjoong pulled the figure of his girlfriend into his embrace, hugging her tightly, to replace the warmness his heart couldn't give her, with his body.

„Let's go home, shall we?“ Taking her hand in his, the two of them got up from the bench, stretching their stiffened limbs for a bit. „Aren't you cold?“ looking at the shaking figure standing beside him, he pulled his brown trench coat off, laying it on his girlfriend's shaking figure.

Walking home hand-in-hand, the two of them lived through yet another episode of the cycle.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

21.09.2021

„You're unbelievable Kim Hongjoong! Oh god, I'm so stupid! I always put my faith in you, believing that your aims are sincere, yet you always disappoint me. You're never gonna change! I should just pack my things and leave, cuz it looks like my presence is annoying you. If it weren't for me, you could live your poor life peacefully, right? Getting into fights on daily basis, fucking whores you find on the streets and flushing it all away with nicotine and alcohol while dreaming of accomplishing something in your life, you would like that, right? You know what? I should do that right away!“

Dramatically spatting those words into his face, she turned on her heel with anger in her eyes ignoring the glasses Hongjoong threw against the wall near her to make her look at him. His hand gripping her wrist harshly, turning her back to face him.

„What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're not going anywhere!“ Disbelief filled Y/N's veins. Who was he to tell her what she can or can't do?

„What do I think I am doing? Leaving you, Kim Hongjoong. I can't express how much I hate you, I feel so stupid for letting you use me, I don't want to have anything to do with you!“

Hongjoong couldn't control his emotions any longer, letting his hand come in contact with his girlfriend's cheek, that will for sure leave a reddish mark on the spot.

Y/N yelped at the stinging pain of her boyfriend's hand slapping her cheek. Her hands caressing the hurt place as tears filled her eyes. Realising what he did, Hongjoong's eyes immediately softened, ready to comfort and apologize to his girlfriend. But it was too late...

„Leave the fuck out of my flat! I never want to see you again, we're done. Did you hear me well? We're done, there's not any us anymore, and I'll never be your girlfriend again Kim Hongjoong, actually..., I hope I never see you again!“

Motioning with her finger to the door, she signalised for him to leave, not wanting to look at him any longer, she left the room and locked herself in the bedroom, falling on the bed and bringing her knees to her face, nuzzling her face into the created space, bawling her eyes out.

Absorbing the said words, Hongjoong finally understood the weight of his actions, this time it was really the end. Smashing the front door loudly enough for the crying woman to hear, he dived into the darkness on the streets.

As he walked down the empty streets, recalling all the things that happened, he couldn't help but start crying himself. Sitting down in the middle of the road, not caring if any car drove him over anymore. Life without his lover was meaningless for him...

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

18.11.2021

Sitting down on the metallic fence near the train station, he pulled the lighter out of his denim jacket, lighting the addictive stick in his shaking hands. Inhaling the relieving substance, he sighed, trying to pour the stress of his mind.

The first weeks after the break up with his past lover Y/N were hard, he lost faith in everything, barely living through, he then met a couple of boys that helped him get back on track. They put a roof over his head and helped him pursue his dream of becoming successful in music, he was truly thankful towards them.

Taking another inhale, he looked around, observing the people that were approaching the train station. Thinking about how all of them were hiding a different story, his eyes fell on an oddly familiar figure.

The figure he thought he would never see again. As the girl turned around, trying to figure out where to go, her eyes fell on him, locking eye contact.

He heard that Y/N was leaving town in a few days, pursuing her happy ending in a new place. A place that didn't wound her as much as this one did. Hongjoong smiled at her, his eyes motioning for her to come over.

With a hesitantly uncomfortable look in her eyes, she approached his figure that was still sitting on the fence, scared as to what might happen. „Y/N, long time no see.“ smiling at him lightly, she looked down rather than to look to those eyes she once loved.

„Hey girl, I heard you seem to be happy now,... how you doin'? I heard you're leaving town,... it might not matter now, but maybe it worked somehow, but I really changed this time. I know you have no intention of coming back to me and I can't blame you for that, but I couldn't live peacefully if I didn't say my sincere apology to you for the last time. I lived horribly before, but I found people who helped me and now I'm living a life that I enjoy. That's what I tell myself: she'll never know how much I wished I never let you go. Thinking of this, it tore me down to pieces.“

Looking at him with glistening eyes, she could hear the sincerity in his words for the first time in a long time.

„Ah yes Joong, you're right, I'm leaving town soon, starting a new life somewhere else. I may seem happy now, but it's not like that all the time, some wounds take time to be healed, but I'm better, how about you? I'm pleased to hear that you decided to change your life and I'm sorry for letting you go without giving you space to explain yourself, but you must understand it had to be done. Our relationship was hatred and it was destined to break sooner or later.“

Nodding in agreement to her aching but truthful words, he took an inhale from his cigarette for the last time, throwing the cigarette stub onto the ground and stepping on it to smoosh it.

„Don't worry 'bout me 'cause I'm doing fine. Although the first weeks afterwards, I came to the street you live in every day, just standing there in front of your flat and looking into the room we once shared. But I'm doing fine, girl, I swear it's not a lie.“

„I saw you a few times, the smoke coming from your cigarettes always reached my window, that's when I immediately knew you were there...so you came around my house, and you left your marks with your fingertips, I was always thinking: I'm sitting where you sat down and now he's looking for something meaningless... I'm getting a little nervous talking to you... it feels like I'm getting to the surface“

Absorbing each other's words, the two of them stood opposite of each other, their heads tilted down, as they regretted their past manoeuvres. He's getting a little nervous and she's finally getting to the surface.

„I got a little nervous of running back to you when you weren't there Y/N.. and I'm sorry, I was hurting too much to know, that you were standing right there. And I'm sorry, when I left you all alone, girl. It's time I should probably let you go and forget about a jerk who hurt you as much as I did. I know that wasn't fair 'cause I loved you. He loved you, the man who you hate sincerely loved you, even though he didn't express it in time...“

„Bye Kim Hongjoong. Stand tall and pursue your dreams.“ Bidding goodbye to her for the last time, he watched as his lover disappeared in the span that was separating them.