metaphysicalmatter

[metaphysicalmatter]

Oof, 2020.

Typically, year-end blurbs tend to be about reflection of the days and months endured and hope for what's to come in the next but I'm not sure I can do it. Not that this post can't encompass some of that whimsy, but those among us who are feeling it stronger than others may be asked to share. Maybe we need a 'puff, puff, pass' set up for the metaphysical group circle and just get right to it.

I know I'm not alone in that I've been struggling to find a pocket to reside in, one that feels like home and welcomes me with a warm hug. Instead, everything feels more like a pinball machine, exhaustingly bouncing off one wall to the next, experiencing only blips of enlightenment and exhale. Understandably, this dumpster fire of a year was filled with much turmoil, heaviness and unknown, leaving us repeatedly, and oftentimes rhetorically, saying "what in the actual fuck?!". And my surrendered response seems to only be "who the fuck knows". (Expletives are an expressive necessary in my book, as you've gathered - and were forewarned!)

My desire for us all is to soak in the embrace of what warms our hearts until our fingers are soggy and experience continuous recharging of what fuels our souls that naturally extends our battery life, even if it is sprinkled in those blips. Endurance and perseverance seem to be key and I'd be lying if I said we won't be challenged to dig our absolute deepest to do so.

Good riddance, 2020. And, to 2021: Please be gentler, the collective begs of you.

Love, light and aloha,

Tiffany

[metaphysicalmatter]

Sending extra love

Sending extra light and love to those trying to mange their empathy abilities during these chaotic energetic times. It's a huge ask, and task, to navigate. I get it and I see you. Some days the junk energy is so thick outside that I can barely leave the house; the intensity is too much. Remember to quiet your space and your mind and find whatever self-care things that help you claw your way to the top for air. It's seemingly going to be like this for some time so please don't drown in it.

Much aloha,

Tiffany

[metaphysicalmatter]

In Summary (for now)

I had initially planned to write something all-inclusive, tying what's already been written and shared to what's to come and now I have no clue what to say. I'm drawing a blank but, actually, it's probably best that I keep this very simple. The upheaval of continuous worldwide events is (obviously) making it very difficult to grasp and take hold of anything. It seems that most things we touch are like slippery noodles, changing shape and position the moment we think it's solid. That said, please know that there's support in me when you need it, there's open conversation with me for the topics you may not feel comfortable talking about with others and there's absolutely no judgmental with me for anything in between.

As always, remember to be gentle with yourself.

Light, love and aloha,

Tiffany

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty-Five

Well, shit. Starting off this post to chat about the experience of my first paid reading (which is huge!!) and how it played out such that the sitter was ultimately disappointed in who came through (which super sucked!!). And, it goes without saying, I did not see that coming. No pun intended. The reading circumstances itself were already kind of jammed up in that the sitter, a friend of mine who lives on the mainland, insisted that we do it over the phone – which is fine except that she was 4 hours ahead of me. And 4 hours ahead of me meant 11pm in the middle of the week for her. I offered multiple times to do an email reading since that is a difficult time of the day to be present and alert, in general, but she didn’t want to budge. After all of the practice I’ve completed, I realized that my best mental and physical pocket sweet spots are Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night from 7pm – 8:30pm-ish. So, that’s what I’ve now identified as my availability for medium readings. It helps to understand what that is for steering and planning things like continued practices, reading appointments, etc.  That may change over time but I’m not sure, actually. I want the weekends to be mine and it’s not like Mondays are known for being the best for anything, let’s be serious. Anyways, the reading included two people coming through but, apparently, neither were ones the sitter was hoping to hear from. I’d explained prior to the reading that she must enter into it with no expectations but that didn’t land as I’d hoped (I get it, that is a tall order here). As I passed along the information coming through, I could feel the sitter’s energy contracting and the openness slowly dissipated. Not that she wasn’t open to the experience, but she wasn’t as present and a bit distracted. It’s like I could hear her mental wheels turning and her reactions to what I was saying sounded confused. She would confirm what I was receiving as true but in the same moment directed the energy elsewhere, as if to push a square peg into a round hole by attempting to make certain items from one spirit fit to match the spirit she wanted it to be. So, as I forge ahead and try to remain focused and confident, I am losing my steam as her reactions threw me off, one after another. As my first paid reading, I automatically went into it a bit nervous and wasn’t necessarily ready to be taken off course like that. We wrapped up the session and went on our way but I couldn’t figure out, nor get past, why the dynamics were what they were in this case, so I dug deeper and called back in her guides to get some answers. It was brought forward that the sitter went into the reading with the hopes to connect with a certain spirit (as most of us do) and was afterward planning to share the reading details with another friend in their shared circle, likely an attempt to provide comfort. Because this third-party friend was not in a prepared state in their own life to receive this pending information, spirit made the decision to stand back this time around, thus letting the others come forward instead.  I later shared this with the sitter so she could understand as well but I was grateful to close that loop. It allowed me to take a breath, remember that I’m still a bit green in experience and also knowing I didn’t do anything outside of what I was supposed to. But, that was also a hard and fast reminder to take some things with a grain of salt and just share what you receive, leaving the rest up to the sitter.

On a personal note, I’d noticed a while back that my guides felt very distant, which is a noticeable difference from what the last few years have entailed. It physically felt as if I was in a room full of people that I knew were there, but they couldn’t see me. I’ve been frustrated with some of the group’s dynamics and struggled to properly sort it out (as if I’m even supposed to know how!) but also do not feel at a space in my development where I’m ready for such a shift. To confirm what was happening, I got a quick reading from someone I’ve been to before and they shared that my guides had indeed stepped back to let me ‘take it from here’ and will now pop in as needed. I found myself divided in that it was welcomed, uncomfortable and somewhat sprinkled with betrayal and hurt. I want the opportunity to blossom accordingly but I would have loved more of a shared effort instead of just ripping the blanket out from under me. It was like the group made the decision for me but without me, and I felt shut out. Although they’re moving through this path with me as they are instructed, avoiding feeling hurt by my team would have been a top item on the list, best interest or not. As I’ve mentioned ad nauseum, having some help to walk ahead is everything and to now not really have the same connection to my team?! Ugh. I’m trying my best to navigate this relationship shift – and not be pouty throughout - but it’s clear it left me deflated.

Doing what I can here, just as we all are.

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

You guys, I whipped up a fairy house scene and I’m in love 😍

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty-Four

Talk about a learning pause, sheesh! As I plow through the usual pile of shit I need to know and (attempt to) understand, I can now tick a few more things off the list. From time to time, as I’ve mentioned, I’ll engage the assistance of a ‘colleague’ – a loose term since I don’t typically know these folks, personally – to gather information surrounding my ascension that I’m not picking up on otherwise myself. I wish it were as easy as getting a Guide Telegram in the mail, alleviating any guesswork…and a need to pay someone else for help. But, as it turns out, this has been the best option for me; someone else getting into my energetic space and figuring out what’s missing.  

This time around, I learned some key items that will really help me in setting up a solid routine. Oh, but first, I want to share one piece that was a real eye opener. Apparently, when this whole journey began and I was physically, emotionally and mentally being torn open enough to receive my abilities, I was given them all at once. Yep, the whole bucket was essentially dropped on my head to ‘go forth’ with it. This whole time, I’d thought it was more so checking the opening of each ability off the list so that I could move on to the next. Well, that was still the case, I guess, but instead it was closer to everything was there the whole time, I just (subconsciously?) executed the situation that way to likely compartmentalize. The reader I was working with during this exchange said, “no wonder you felt overwhelmed, literally everything came to you at once to manage when, really, you didn’t know any of it was coming in the first place”. Good hell, no wonder is right. That at least made me feel a bit more seen in that moment, words of validation can mean everything. The reader’s guidance was to now regroup and almost start over. Start from the beginning and delve into each ‘clair’, as necessary, and I’m doing just that. I was clearly given far too much off the starting line and need to get my bearings so that I can firmly plant my feet on the ground for once.  

I also learned about different ways to protect, which has been a much-needed and dire topic for me. As I am finding out the hard way, when one is opening up their abilities, they tend to become magnets to the trickster and lower vibrational energies. Nothing that will cause harm, but it certainly signals those who make it their mission to mess with you whenever possible. They’re like bored teenagers with nothing to do but get in trouble doing stupid shit. I was guided once by a reader that said, “you just can’t give them any of your energy or attention, they’ll eventually go away”. Ok, that’s great and all, but good luck following those directions when you’ve got the pain in the ass, semi-bully ‘poking you in your side’ every damn time you turn around. It’s absolutely a beginner’s lesson to be learned, and usually better to go through it to some extent to understand what the experience is like, but screw doing it for the knowledge! Such a pain. Anyways, I learned of a mantra to state each morning, which calls in higher vibrational energies to surround me throughout the day; I found a smudge spray recipe that not only smells wonderful but cleanses and protects my aura (I spray it in the morning and before bed); and I also learned that smudging my altar space and house more frequently is necessary. Previously, I thought that if I followed my own basic, regular energetic cleansing and clearing, that would be enough, but it’s not. Real ammo is needed in this gig, but I immediately felt a difference after adding these steps to my routine. And NOW I can move on and not pay the lower vibrational energies any mind because I’ve blocked them the hell out. And for the days that my vibration is lowered for whatever reason, I just don’t do any metaphysical work. Sometimes it’s best to just let it be.  

Outside of all of that, I’m feeling a lot more comfortable sharing with those I come across about my abilities – well, those I sense can be open to that sort of information, anyway. I’m mindful to wait for an opportune time to bring it up, but that point took me a long time to get to so it’s an accomplishment to be proud of.  I’ve also started regularly listening to an audio file that I was gifted some time ago that assists with clearing out mental blocks. Previously, I’d hardly ever listened to it but figured it wouldn’t hurt to throw on once or twice in the morning during the commute to work. Who knows what mental blocks work their way in when I’m not paying attention – nor would I likely even know they were there. I can sense that there’s another ability opening up, and (by process of elimination) I think it may be that I would be able to see spirit with my physical eye. I say that because I’ve been experiencing a lot of physical shifts to my eyes at night, waking up to them a bit puffy and excreting more ‘tears’ than I’m used to. But, like everything else, this could take months to properly gestate, so I’ll leave this nugget here and circle back when I have an actual update to provide.

Stay well.

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty-Three

It’s been a minute, but glad to be back! One thing that’s certain in this new gig is that nothing moves quickly. And I mean nothing. I understand there’s no rush in the grand scheme but it’s also difficult to maneuver each task knowing that you cannot move it along quicker (within reason), due diligence and preparedness or not. Now, I say that with the intent to want to work hard and push on, ticking my way through the list to get to the bottom. I’ve definitely grown in my patience, but good for you if you’re able to sit back and just go with all that life rolls out, that’s been a challenging adjustment for me. Over the last couple of months, I’ve experienced a notable shift in that I, more and more, feel like I’m shedding most of who I was and morphing more into what ‘they’ want/need me to be in my new healer role. Oftentimes, it feels as if I’m a robot in my own body and struggle to connect to what I’d previously associated myself with for so many years. It’s all because I truly am experiencing a rebirth as an entirely new person but my awareness of that doesn’t mean I automatically adjust on all the levels that are presented. I’m just now having a blip of clarity as I write this that the slowness of this whole process isn’t just about my abilities opening up, there’s a much bigger picture here that I need to catch up with, as a whole – and rushing through anything wouldn’t do me any good. The stillness at times is meant for me to adjust and calibrate accordingly. But, in the moment, it doesn’t feel quite as smooth and easy going.

I had a close friend visit me recently, who was also in the practice group, and I was able to utilize her presence to do my first in-person medium reading and energy healing/flushing session. It was quite interesting how the remote vs. in-person readings differ.  For the medium reading, I found myself much more in my head and adding pressures that weren’t necessary. In this process, we want to be accurate and engaging and the in-person aspect made me so much more nervous! It sounds obvious, and it is – having someone look you in the face, hanging on your every word, wanting to connect to their loved one who has passed is a major moment…it’s not the time to interpret the wrong shit. And being inaccurate isn’t really an option, or we set ourselves up to feel that way (but, of course that’s an option, we aren’t magicians). There’s a safety in doing remote readings, even if it’s the same words and images coming through. I can find my own comfort, in my own space and more on my terms instead of it being ‘on command’. But, it’s all in my head and something that will ease with practice. I need to remember to just breathe, take as much time as I need with what I receive and create a flow that works for me. If it takes an hour to get out a shorter message, then so be it. Nonetheless, the reading went just fine and the messages came through, making it a success. I can certainly sense that this will be practice-based and each reading will be better than the last, so at least there’s that. The energy session was pretty nuts, though. I’d done a flush of the junk/stored/lodged energy with the intent to replace it with new, fresh energy and my friend could fully feel all of my actions from when I started, changed it up and finished. She ultimately experienced it all as I was engaged, and I didn’t even touch her! I hovered my hands over her head about 3 or 4 inches so the real-time feedback and what she sensed at each interval was very interesting. It helped me a lot to be able to prep others in the future as to what they may experience in their sessions, and to just go with it so they aren’t alarmed. I mean, I say ‘alarmed’ in the most dramatic sense, it is more so they can expect the shifts and know it’s part of the session.  All in all, both went well and I can tick those “firsts” off the list, finally.

I’ve been wrapping up my practice group energy healing sessions, too. This has been such a great exercise because I have been able to tackle a bunch of different ailments and receive additional feedback as to how it was resolved, or if I needed to get in there again with any adjustments. I covered the gamut in that I worked with physical pain, mental fogginess, stress and anxiety, etc., all which helped me pinpoint how best to approach the situation with comfort. I really enjoy being able to physically assist people regarding things they’re struggling with managing and seeing an almost immediate result. That said, as I tell the recipient, the work I complete will only go as far as they want it to. For example, if I’m assisting with releasing stress in the physical body, they must also make daily adjustments to keep it at bay for receipt of the best results. It’s not a finite option but it certainly helps get the recipient started with change to move forward in a better space. And, oftentimes, that’s all we can ask for.

More soon.

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

This.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty-Two

In the midst of shuffling papers of tracking my exercise numbers, I found different chicken scratch counters in my alter space and knew I needed to put it into a journal entry so it doesn't get lost. As you know, I've been changing the types of exercises as well as counting each as I go and it's all over the place. But, here's where I'm at so far:

The practice group has included 9-11 people, generally doing the exercise 2-3x per person

Exercise #1 (what did you do today) = 25x

Exercise #2 (memorable memory) = 22x

Exercise #3 (spirit guide > Caleb message) = 26x

Exercise #4 (spirit > Caleb message) 26x

Exercise #5 (direct spirit message) = 9x (at the time of this entry)

Totaling 108 so far!

Soon, I'll be including energy healing and its numbers...and I wonder why I'm tired so often.  *Yawn*

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Hearts in the desert.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty-One

In the thick of this advancement in my connections and readings, I wanted to read up on the topic of mediumship.  This was one area that I knew I'd be able to dig further into for guidance (it's about time).  I was pleased to learn that I was aligned with what others are doing, in general, which was certainly a relief. But the biggest takeaway was being directed to create a standard format of questions and guidelines that each spirit and reading can follow. I'm a huge fan of order and consistency so I will absolutely be adding that to the steps. One book in particular included a large list of questions to be asked, which can be followed in its entirety or customized according to what feels right.  I decided to go through each question with my guides to confirm what would be the most beneficial for me and came out of it with close to 75% of the list. Much of the list was centered around details in which to identify the spirit, along with others to assist in the next steps of validation, such as narrowing in on looks, habits, likes/dislikes, etc. All of it was very helpful and gets the mental wheels spinning with an added drive to connect more for practice.

I've reached out to my practice group participants to see if they know anyone that would be good for the group, I'd love to include others that I don't know personally to alleviate some of the familiarity. Not sure how far that request will reach but it doesn't hurt to try!

In other news, Caleb has asked that I send a few more messages on his behalf – one to a repeat recipient and one to a new addition. The passing along to the new folks does seem to get a bit easier now that I've done it a few times but the stakes are so high that I can't ever fully relax or be confident about it until it's over. I'm happy to pass everything along but I need it to rip like a band-aid – for both of our sakes.  

Until next time.

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Fifty

Alrighty, keeping the progress trajectory moving forward, I’m one step closer...errr, one step further. They both work here.

I started my next level practice exercise and it’s going well! I’m approaching this exercise the same as previous ones in that I am calling in the energy of whoever’s turn it is from the practice group and beginning as usual. But, instead of working directly with their guides, I’m asking for the allowance of a crossed-over spirit who’s associated with that person, to provide the spirit a chance to chime in, taking it from there.  The relay portion of the words and pictures has now shifted from Caleb acting as the point person to the spirit who is choosing to step forward. He’s still present during the exercise, but more so acting as a moderator to ensure order and organization.

The current flow and channels seem to be really clear and the message contents are coming through quite easily. I’m sure this is because of my repetitive practice and ascension but it’s definitely nice to be able to monitor and acknowledge adjustments. Because my clairvoyance is the newest ability to open, the visions have some catching up to do to align with the others. I have to sit with them for a few seconds to understand what I’m seeing, which is par for the course, but I can obviously tell more repetition work is needed for it to expand.  

The most interesting part that I’m noticing with this type of exercise is that each spirit has different personalities, mannerisms and means of communication, which are apparent as I sift through the message materials. And I’m finding quickly that I need to calibrate to those variances. Previously, since the communication was only ever coming from Caleb, he and I could create a custom baseline level to remain fluid. Just as we experience in the physical world, depending on that spirit’s previous physical life, their ways of communicating can vary but remain the same in the spirit realm: shyness, apprehension, stubbornness, eagerness, humor, etc. If you’ve ever watched/witnessed/received a medium reading, quite often the recipient will say something along the lines of ‘that’s exactly how they’d present this message, that’s 100% their personality’ (which the spirit conveys for validation purposes).  

Now that I’m advancing, this seems like the best segway into mediumship/spirit communication, though – I can ease into it as doing ‘more of the same, only different’. And it’s pretty exciting shit, guys.

Before I go, I had another thought recently that I wanted to quickly touch on.  As I’ve mentioned many times previously, I began this blog to share the full grit of this journey. This is not a glamorous gig, but the opportunity to ultimately help and heal others’ energy, hearts and souls – even a little bit – is worth it (although I question it often!). The energy exchanged in those shared moments such as vulnerability, healing, gratitude and love is enough to keep those with abilities operating. But, in order to keep my posts on more of a focused path of explanation and ground-level detail, I find that I’m leaving out a lot of my day-to-day struggles. I absolutely do not want to make my posts about struggle (any more than they need to be anyway), but I also don’t want to eliminate it just because there is progress in my practice. Much of the time, I wouldn’t know what to say because it’s daily, and it’s always something different and my head spins from trying to keep up. There are SO many moving parts, I barely know up from down most of the time. And, because the issues vary and because they are a regular occurrence, it also becomes near unmanageable to share. In order to keep someone fully up to speed, I’d have to provide an update of the happenings of my days…daily. And that’s just too much for all involved. And unnecessary. And exhausting. My main thought in this word vomit paragraph is that I still plan to be transparent and share what makes sense. I recall in the very beginning of my journey trying to find someone who would just be honest and share how difficult this really can be; just say it, it has to be happening!  It is happening and I’m always here to discuss it, especially since it’s more difficult to find others that will.

Together in light and love.

Aloha

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Forty-Nine

I’m back! Hope everyone is enjoying their summer. Let’s get back into it...

As of late, Caleb has been really trying to push me in my clairaudience so we can talk more freely, and also move me away from relying so heavily on my pendulum. I am usually so quick to grab it for communication that I think I’ve also been using it as too much of a crutch. I find myself feeling (or incorrectly thinking I am) mentally blocked or fuzzy, or even unsure of my abilities at times when, really, there’s no reason for it. Sure, there are days that I may really be too fuzzy to hear him clearly, but I seem to oftentimes be grasping to that notion instead of actually going for it first, like a safety blanket. I liken it to knowing how to swim but also nervous to jump off the high dive; you just have to get used to taking that one step forward to know you can do it, only to realize it wasn’t that bad after all.  But it’s also a rinse and repeat situation that takes practice in moving past, which is clearly where I am now. It’s an odd thing, to attempt to self-promote through something you aren’t 100% certain of. But when there’s no one physically around to help track your progress, what else are we going to do?  Second guessing ourselves is what we do as humans.  Kudos if this isn’t your first go-to reaction, we need more of that in our populace.

Once I slow down, cycle through a few deep breaths and check in with myself to locate where I truly am at that moment, I can then properly distinguish my placement for the option of a chat. And, much to my surprise, I end up being more open, and more often, than I would have initially guessed. Trust is a MASSIVE sticking point in this game, no matter which one you’re playing – and it’s probably been the biggest challenge for me to fully accept. I don’t always have to be a control freak (toward others, anyway) but, as a heavily independent woman, I am not one to just let the Universe take the wheel to see what happens next. My life is managed based on what decisions I make and actions I take, so carefree living feels like an unorganized nightmare to me (although, I also wish I could live as such). But, I know – relax, Tiffany.  I’m slowly working on it throughout this journey, especially since this path damn near only allows for abandon and pure trust. The side note about that is exactly what happened as I was sorting through Caleb’s death and the seemingly never-ending mourning transition – I had to figure out how to let go, but only to learn he was still standing right next to me, essentially having to find trust that the process wasn’t an end all, be all situation. I could go on about this subject forever, but I’ll spare you; it was fucking awful, (of course) extremely challenging (of course) and, for me, took me about 2 years to get to the point of understanding his new-found presence. Yes, I communicate with him in some way every day, but that doesn’t mean the parallel of having to deal with the absence of his physical presence isn’t there. It’s always there, and I will never be ok with it.

I needed to share that thought for so many reasons, but the main one being that, during journeys such as this, there’s likely to be an occurrence – or many – that present the challenge to do nothing but trust.  Follow your own intuition, don’t feel pressured to listen to any outside sources if they don’t resonate and take all the time you need to find your space in it. Once you’ve located it, you won’t ever have to go back...hopefully.

Even if we don’t know one another, I’m here in support of you.  

Aloha.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Break Time

Time to catch up on my writing, see you shortly.

[metaphysicalmatter]

Finally.

Man, I sure have been putting off adding another post because I didn’t want my most recent empath entry to make its way down the list. It’s me, and it’s important, and they’re words I’m not able to always share. Anyways, like everything else, it’s gotta happen. 

So, in the meantime, here’s a tiny heart coral. It’s just cute. 

[metaphysicalmatter]

Discussion: Being an Empath

Shit, I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been reading a bunch about being an empath in an attempt to obtain certain validations but also gain some insight as to ways I can explain it to those on the ‘other side of the tracks’. I’ve also been trying to come up with random analogies to assist me, but nothing fits, and it’s frustrating. I just want to share some regular, everyday words and have someone say ‘oh, yeah, that makes sense’. But, as I’m finding, this struggle is very common amongst empaths hoping to share any understanding with those in their lives.  Many find it so difficult to find the words that they oftentimes opt out of even trying to explain, which I completely understand. I’m currently at a pretty low level of wanting to continue explaining for myself so I’m hoping to lay out what I can in this post and use it for reference or direction later on.  No one is required to ever explain themselves, but I’d like to find a place that someone can at least read my words and process as they’d like. So, here it goes.

Empaths are highly sensitive people who can feel and absorb others emotions and energy as their own. And, as you know, everything is energy, meaning everything can cause effect.  So often, when dealing with others directly, it can be difficult to discern whose energy, emotion and feeling is coming from who.  For example, I can be talking to someone about something as simple as a paperclip, and underneath the surface they may be experiencing emotional turmoil; I can leave that conversation feeling the emotional turmoil as my own. Or, another example is, if someone is being dishonest and their words don’t align, I can feel the disconnect because their energy is telling me what the truth is. This can be disconcerting because you find out quickly who’s lying to your face – but also a great tool to have. One’s energy can’t be altered to anything than their own truth, it is what it is.  And, this can happen in-person or remotely, it doesn’t have barriers.

Because empaths are extremely sensitive to all energy, our emotions are raw at square one. Luckily, there are tips and tools to manage the basics, which help in keeping the empath’s energy separated from what’s not theirs. With the world and our daily environments revolving around stimulation distractions such as tv, devices, social media or whatever is new that day, it creates a nightmare environment for us. Our ‘regular’, running levels are much higher than the average person so adding the unavoidable stimulation on top of that are a disaster. I can say that, many times, I feel so overwhelmed by everyday environment that it seems I could implode at any moment. In order to manage a less-stimulated life in an over-stimulated society, precautions must be taken for both protection and survival. It takes a lot of work, but it’s required to get through each day.  

It’s very common for empaths to prefer things like low lighting, as harsh, bright lights are too extreme. It’s also very common for empaths to require a lot of alone time and sleep in order to flush the outside energies and recharge their own. Our bodies are having a completely different experience than a non-empath, and can become warn out quite easily, which is why adequate sleep is crucial. Empath’s bodies also, as a natural reaction, tend to gain more weight as a means to physically protect us from absorbing energies that aren’t ours. The extra padding helps keep us grounded, and a lot of times is out of our control, or we’re unknowing to what protection the physical body needs. Empaths can’t take much tv or outside noise or crowds and definitely prefer silence over anything else. Silence to me feels like I’m getting to exhale. My favorite hour of the day is typically 8-9pm when the outside world is finally winding down and I can have a break. I’ve even recently purchased noise canceling headphones for the times at my house when the outside world is just too much. When it does get to be too much, my nerves feel grated on, like nails on a chalkboard. I don’t want to have to succumb to the actions of others and the noise that comes with it, so I try my best to find other options that work for me. And for me, if I can keep my environment ‘soft’, I’m generally ok.  I’m very in-tune and mainly need to create experiences that work for my empathic nature and excusing myself if it doesn’t. If I push myself into something that doesn’t energetically feel right, it will likely take me a couple of days to regroup – and sometimes it’s just not worth it.

Empaths tend to have great relationships with themselves, due to the amount of alone time spent, but it can also be extremely isolating as well. And, because of the constant need for the energy protections that must be enforced, it can also be difficult to locate and identify our own emotions. The boundaries required end up enveloping our own. I can certainly attest that my range of emotion is minimal in general.  I’ve had moments where I tired of not feeling my true depths, decidedly released some of my boundaries and only went straight to Meltdown Town. The first time it happened, I hadn’t realized my guard was down, I encountered a massive emotional meltdown over rain. Rain, you guys. Once I took a beat, I said to myself ‘no wonder I need to stay protected, I can’t manage that much raw emotion on the regular!’ There’s a balance in everything, each empath just needs to find what works for them. For those highly sensitive people who don’t have the tools and knowledge to protect themselves, it is common that the energies from others become stored and lodged in their body, causing illness, because they weren’t properly flushed out.

This is more of an interjecting side note: As a result of all of my energy downloads throughout this ascension process, I wanted to ask my team where my vibration level now lies, in comparison to the average person. In my question, I’d used the range of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest. My team indicated that the average person hovers at a vibration of about 2-3, and that I’m at a 9. A NINE, folks. No wonder I’m seeking validations and having meltdowns. Sheesh.

There are many other discussion points surrounding what it means to be an empath, both good and ‘bad’, but I feel like this is a pretty good summation. I also don’t feel like I can say much more for why I wanted to write this post, so, I can – and should - end it there.

Aloha. 

[metaphysicalmatter]

Journal: Forty-Eight

This journal entry comes with a much-needed change of pace.  I’ve still been practicing my exercises, but I’ve also been focusing on spending a lot of one-on-one time with Caleb.  Although he’s always present during my usual practices, it adds a different shade of warmth to the routine when it’s just us being us. It is a good reminder that I need to be adding this to my regular doings anyway – if it feels good in my heart space, then it should remain a top priority. It’s so easy to get lost in this journey, having something that helps us remain centered – or a homing beacon of sorts - is crucial.

Outside of our hangouts, if you will, Caleb and I have been working on a different practice exercise that plays on our partnership with one another. Due to the number of times I’ve connected to my ‘test subjects’ for my practices, both of the parties involved (myself/my team and my friend/their team) seem to now be welcoming, comfortable acquaintances. This allows me to communicate more easily with Caleb/my team about a particular person in the group – as in, I don’t necessarily have to connect to that subject directly for this minor-access exercise. This would likely not be common in every day practices of others and has been seemingly customized to my repetitive practice situation so I’m mainly just utilizing it while it’s available in hopes to find creative approaches as I go.  

Anyways, this exercise has essentially just been asking Caleb to provide me with a message for ‘so-and-so’ and leaving it at that. I always begin these sessions by grounding, finding my clearest meditative head space and Caleb then joins in the connection for ease of sharing the energy needed to share the information. Once I’ve identified who’s turn it is for this round, I’ll ask for pictures and/or words to be presented that reflect whatever message I’m supposed to pass along. Once he’s completed his portion, which I would say tends to be 4-6 items, he says “stop” to let me know he’s finished. I then write down what I received and best piece it together for what I’ll be sharing with the recipient. Caleb is merely a middle man with the subject’s energy/team in receiving this particular message and then passing it along to me…to then pass it back to that person. Dizzy!

This exercise has been interesting in that I am not asking anything specific to assist in the guidance, it’s more of a guessing game. So far, it’s been a mix of regular, everyday life messages to even a quick hello from someone who has passed, bringing forward a specific reference.  My team is probably sneaking this one in as a means to help in the flexing of my comfort zone (although, since I’m still in the middle of practicing, I’m not sure I have found a comfort zone yet!). But, having my friends in the practice group truly allows me the freedom to enter the ‘spit balling’ area of the practice with ease, since I really am having to guess with this exercise. Luckily, the intuition kicks in high gear and helps with the basic direction in forming what message was intended so it’s actually not too bad to sift through.

Still just climbing that hill, with light and love.

Aloha.