#i couldn't find a video with this version of the song that wasn't either a live performance or the MV so i just chose the MV

[irafuwas]

Fujii Kaze - 「Hedemo Ne-Yo」

野菜ばっかの生活しょんのに 腹が立つことちょっくらあんのは カルシウムちと不足しとんじゃわ おどれ、おどれ、おどれ、おどれ

Even though I been living a vegetarian lifestyle There's still something that's pissin' me off Maybe I got calcium deficiency or something God damn it, God damn it, God damn it, God damn it

慎ましやかに生きていきょんのに いつもなんかが邪魔をするんじゃわ こんな時ゃ人目もはばからずに 踊れ、踊れ、踊れ、踊れ

I'm just tryna live a modest life here But there's always something gettin' in my way Times like this you gotta stop caring what other people think And just dance, dance, dance, dance

かと思いきや正反対 とても平穏な新世界 願うはここへずっと居たい もう限界 神様 力をちょうだい あんたがいれば無問題 変わらぬものにしがみついてたい

But it turns out I had everything all backwards This is such a peaceful world All I wanna do is stay here forever. I can't take it anymore God, please give me strength As long as you're by my side, then everything will be okay For once in my life I just want to grab hold of something that isn't going to change

あんたの軽ぃキック へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃパンチ へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃブロウ へでもねーよ へでもねーよ バカじゃねーよ あんたの軽ぃディス へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃヘイト へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃマウント へでもねーよ へでもねーよ それでえーの?

Your weak-ass kick / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass punch / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass blow / I couldn't care less! I couldn't care less. I ain't a damn fool. Your weak-ass diss / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass hate / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass flex / I couldn't care less! I couldn't care less. We done here?

帰れ うちへ帰れ 黙れ しばし黙れ 騒げ よそで騒げ 騒げ、騒げ、騒げ、騒げ 帰れ うちへ帰れ 黙れ しばし黙れ 騒げ よそで騒げ 騒げ、騒げ、騒げ、騒げ

Go home, just get outta here Shut up, just shut up for a while Go wild, but do it somewhere else Go wild, go wild, go wild, go wild Go home, just get outta here Shut up, just shut up for a while Go wild, but do it somewhere else Go wild, go wild, go wild, go wild

かと思いきや急展開 自分次第で別世界 作り変えられるみたい 信じたい 神様 力をちょうだい 一人じゃ何も出来ない 確かなものにしがみついてたい

But then everything suddenly changed This is a brand new world, everything's up to you You can turn it into whatever you want. That's what it seems like. That's what I wanna believe in God, please give me strength I can't do anything on my own For once in my life I just want to grab hold of something I’m sure of

あんたの軽ぃキック へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃパンチ へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃブロウ へでもねーよ へでもねーよ バカじゃねーよ あんたの軽ぃディス へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃヘイト へでもねーよ あんたの軽ぃマウント へでもねーよ へでもねーよ それでえーの?

Your weak-ass kick / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass punch / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass blow / I couldn't care less! I couldn't care less. I ain't a damn fool. Your weak-ass diss / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass hate / I couldn't care less! Your weak-ass flex / I couldn't care less! I couldn't care less. We done here?

あんたの軽ぃキック あんたの軽ぃパンチ あんたの軽ぃブロウ あんたの軽ぃディス あんたの軽ぃヘイト あんたの軽ぃマウント へでもねーよ

Your weak-ass kick Your weak-ass punch Your weak-ass blow Your weak-ass diss Your weak-ass hate Your weak-ass flex I couldn't care less

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

MIDNIGHT CINDERELLA MEMORIAL POST

The Midnight Cinderella app will be closed on Monday August 26th, 2024 (5 PM JST). The English version was actively updated from 2014 to 2021 when Cybird announced the ceasing of operations for MidCin, but the app remained accessible until today. I'm sure I'm not the only one who mourns the loss of it even after all these years of discontinuation, so I wanted to put together a post to properly say goodbye to it. Trying my best not to make it all too sappy - I'd rather look at it as a show that reached its final episode. Some things might be left unresolved but in the end, you remember the cast and the emotions they made you feel more than the actual plot. Nowadays there arguably may be better titles by Cybird out there, but for me, the simplicity of MidCin was what made the details so memorable.

1. VIDEO - POV: You're playing Midnight Cinderella (for 10 minutes)

The 10-minute version (without sound) is accessible via the link above (opens in Google Docs) This one I was really excited about recording! It's just your normal day playing midcin, I'm sure many will find it nostalgic and comforting. You log in, claim your daily bonus (I used the chance to do a present box reveal, 90+ items, many of which you might recognize from route grace checks), play the garden gacha (in my case, I used up all the points I had accumulated, 7800 which equals 39 solos), do your princess lessons, change your avatar, greet your friends, read 1/5 of today's free story parts, check the ranking and your stats, look at your memories directory. The video has no sound, as the game wouldn't let me turn it on (you will see me try to do so throughout the video...) but later on I got it to work so I recorded a one-minute video (the one imported above) of me replenishing stamina just for those iconic sound effects that you either loved or absolutely couldn't stand the volume of, haha.

2. A Midnight Cinderella playlist (spotify link)

While I wasn't there for the early days of midcin, the songs I associated with the game almost always captured this very specifically nostalgic 90s-10s period, you'll see what I mean. Many of those are taken from 8track playlists dedicated to Midnight Cinderella, and if I'm not mistaken you can still look at what is left of them if you search them up. Others are just my very random interpretations of the route stories and the characters.

3. Fic recommendations

We have a lovely community of creatives and there are still so many works left behind which you can check out on the tags! But especially for fics I wanted to list some that truly touched me during the years (all links open in ao3) -

i'm on fire and its NSFW bonus scene bloodstream by a deleted user - words are not enough for this one. It's like it meant more than Nico's whole route for me at one point, and the songs are forever in my heart as Nico songs...

MidCin Works by DBMidCin (SoftSen) - ALL of these. This is my go-to collection of writings for midcin when I start to miss the game, it has a little bit of everything. The headcanon of Giles teaching his girls French for instance is one of the things I still remember reading like it was yesterday!

Bedroom Etiquette (NSFW) by RubyLeeRay - Because this is the dream. Doing something forbidden with your tutor Giles is the ultimate fantasy, I swear. I just love it.

And of course, many, many more. There are currently 166 works on the midcin tag in Ao3, and I'm sure there are a lot of hidden gems here on tumblr as well! Reminder that writers LOVE it when you interact with their old works, it's not weird, you shouldn't hesitate doing so if you find yourself enjoying any of them! <3

4. My own humble collection of MidCin writings on my writing blog @xxsycamore!

Maid, Butler, Chamberlain (NSFW) - Nico x MC with Giles joining them

Grabbles: 💋 Demand for a kiss, right here, right now (GILES); 👔 Stealing their clothes to cuddle when you miss them (BYRON); more coming soon as there are still some in my askbox and I plan on including midcin in future short writings request openings too.

Shared Moments (NSFW) - Nico x Reader - Secret relationship

Ice-cold heat (NSFW) - Byron x Reader - Temperature play

Double the Surprise - Alyn and Leo birthday fic

Leo Crawford having a misadventure with a cat (ao3 link) - crack fic featuring most of the suitors

5. Out of context Midnight Cinderella screenshots

This is a sideblog of mine dedicated to posting out-of-context funny screenshots that I took while playing the routes - @oocmidcin . If you have some of your own that are not on there, you're free to submit them and add to the archive!

6. The perfect MidCin song - The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

When I first discovered this song back in 2020 I dreamed of making it into a midcin music video with simplistic art and animations... It ended up being just something you daydream in detail about while in the car, but that's alright. I could at least share my vision with you! Disclaimer, this is just an interpretation and obviously it can't fit all characters ideally - In the brackets, I explain how the lyric is related to them and usually it reveals their backstories. Some of the details I've already forgotten, sorry if it's inaccurate.)

Tell me once again

I could have been anyone, anyone else

Before you made the choice for me

(Giles - his family making the choice for him since birth and later disowning him once he failed to become a knight due to his illness)

My feet knew the path

We walked in the dark, in the dark

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead

(Nico - wandering the streets with his mother once they were thrown out of Stein castle because she was a commoner having an affair with Byron's father, the King)

All those empty rooms

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else

Instead I made a bed with apathy

(Robert - the empty rooms of the once flourishing palace of the country that Robert ruled and led to demise, nowadays becoming a mere court painter)

My heart knew the weight

Ten years' worth of dust and neglect

We made our peace with weariness and let it be

(Leo - the years in which Alyn didn't speak to him, after the death of their parents)

The moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

Bore the shadows that you made

With no light of my own

(Albert - loyally standing in king Byron's shadow)

Name your courage now

We could have had anything, anything else

Instead you hoarded all that's left of me

(Sid - his relationship with his fiance that he agreed upon just to find out more about his parents by getting close to her father)

Swallowing your doubt

Like swords to the pit of my belly

I want to feel the fire that you kept from me

(Alyn - searching for answers about the murder of his family and the fire that burnt down their home)

I shine only with the light you gave me

(I could have been anyone, anyone)

(Louis - being a nobody and MC being his sun)

7. It goes on

I went to read what I could of chapter 4 of Rayvis' route, using my last two chapter tickets as well, thinking it won't make me cry. And then I'm hit with those familiar things.

So let's close this with a word about the things that never change in the universe of Midnight Cinderella.

Stumbling down the grand staircase and right into the arms of somebody. Escaping the palace at midnight with Nico's help. Sitting at breakfast with Giles giving you your schedule for the day. Nico's teasing little smile as he accompanies you everywhere and listens to your relationship troubles. The way he's just a little suspicious at times. Finding Robert painting in the garden of Wysteria palace. Going to the room of your chosen suitor for the first time and meeting a pet there. Leo teaching you history and politics in his office. Dance lessons with Louis. Needing those dance lessons because King Byron is coming to Wysteria and a ball is going to take place. The bureaucrats being unhappy with you as a princess elect, no matter what. Galloping on a horse with Alyn who just protected you from an enemy attack. Getting information from a certain flirty merchant at a bar. Albert bickering with Nico, Sid teasing Louis. Being introduced to Archduke Herneit at Stein castle. King Byron appreciating the night sky. The sight of your yellow and orange princess elect room where on the large bed with its blue bedframe and tall see-through canopy you lie awake and think about the events of the day and how would a wise future Queen of Wysteria deal with the current situation. But ultimately you fall asleep, hearing the melancholically beautiful sounds of a violin coming from somewhere deep within your dream, and leave it all to the following day.

Thank you for everything, Midnight Cinderella!

08/26/2024

[britt-kageryuu]

Leo and Donnie are playing Just Dance. They are using the AR system, if only because they couldn't agree on the background. They did have to move a number of things so they didn't have another 'Tangled in Wires' or 'Knocked Over Something Self-Important' incident.

They're competing to get a higher score, but every few songs one would take a break, while the other would do a solo performance. Then they would switch off.

There was alot of fuss in the chat when Leo during one of his Solos did Umbrella, with umbrella version, IN HEELS! Proven by him walking out of frame, then returning a minute later followed by the clicking of heels on the floor, picked up by the mic.

The Donnie not wanting to be one upped! Put on the heels, and performed Umbrella with the umbrella. Only he wielded his Bo staff with the height adjusted.

They were both met with applause from the chat. Though there was a small argument about the scores, and them believing the game wasn't fair on the scoring them Solo. So they only counted them playing together.

The two decided to do some of the fun versions of the songs. Like Hips Don't Lie, in inflatable sumo costumes. Though they only had inflatable T-Rex Costumes. So the audience was treated to them dancing, and hitting eachother with the costumes tail, at some parts of the song.

They spend a long amount of time marathoning all the Lady GaGa songs. All versions back to back. They were very pretty out of breath once the last song finished.

While they took a break to recover from the marathon, Splinter entered the room, and asked if he could perform some songs. They agreed.

Then everyone even the Twins watched in amazement as Splinter performed a few of the more difficult songs, and got near perfect scores!! Splinter just nonchalantly said he's still got it. Especially after those wonderful treatments that fixed his back problems.

He left shortly after with no other explanation.

The Twins just speculate that their Dad mentioned being a pretty accomplished dancer on top of being an amazing Actor.

Once they finished their break, they attempted the harder songs they hadn't gotten to yet.

The audience collected many clips and memes from this stream. Especially after they performed a couple songs that was actually a couples dances that involved a lift or one picking up the other. And the yelling of "Don't You Dare Drop Me!!!!"

---------------

Masterpost

I just didn't feel like writing out dialogue for this one. Plus alot of said dialogue would just be banter about eachothers dancing skills, which would either fall flat or get repetitive. Maybe.

Also trying to describe them dancing would be kinda tricky, with all the very random dance moves Just Dance has you perform. So find some random Just Dance videos, and imagine the Turtles performing the moves.

[meg-megbanom-ezt]

The Four Horsemen of my Spotify Wrapped

As a last minute effort, I present my Spotify wrapped as my final post of this year, with a bit of illustration. The background of the image is, of course, not mine but Jason Galea's. Originally I wanted to recreate it myself but a) I couldn't make it half, no, quarter as good b) I can't be bothered by doing anything difficult for 2022. I've had enough.

The reason I don't post the original Spotify images like anybody else is... because my poor phone is so old and messed up that I was happy to be able to tap through at. all. I was like, "is there any cheat code for Level 2?", the app crashed OR skipped too much forward OR backward. So this is also a goodbye to Spotify on the phone because after I wrote(!) down(!!!) the stats, I deleted the app. Spoiler: it also crashed all the other times. I've bought an SD card and I'll listen to mp3s from now on. Soooo ~retro~!

To be fair, I used the Spotify browser edition, as well; more than the phone app version, I'd guess. Maybe I keep using that, but I prefer YouTube for listening for music (I know, I know), although it's not really the bee's knees either. Just still the better one IMO.

So if anybody persisted despite my rants or against the odds how much people usually care for other's music taste... HERE IS THE POINT:

Most common genres (in descending order, but fuck bullet points):

new wave - no surprise rock - broad category, but I can see this Australian indie - see later... classic Hungarian rock - hmm... I think this is a broad category as well early US punk - I can see this, too

How much I've listened to Spotify?

3493 minutes, which is ~58 hours - not even 2,5 days. I don't think it's too much. Still, I've listened to more music than 45% of Hungarian users! I'm so curious how would the distribution look like. And what about podcasts? I guess it's also a keyword here. (Podcasts are not my cup of tea, but I'd still love to see statistics. OK, I just like stats, OK?)

Top 5 songs:

Holiday in Cambodia - imagine this... this made it to the top with *drum roll* four repeats on a gray January day! Wow, just wow. I can't complain, tho - it's a great song. It just looks like I don't do that horrible number of loops on Spotify (unlike on YT). Also, now you understand the top left corner (even though, iirc, Jello gnawing the chord is in the California Über Alles video? anyway...). Pop Song 89 - Oh, I can explain this, it's a recent thing. I opened Spotify, I saw this song among top of the favourites, "oh, I like this", I played the song - and closed the app / tab. Hence, the top right corner (but poor Michael Stipe, I should've drawn him better in retrospect). Lonely Steel Sheet Flyer - holy shit, I didn't even remembered this song title. I guess I was like, "wait it's good!" and replayed a few times without recollecting. [these guys drugged me through their music: a story at 8PM] Swamp Thing - same as above, but it's by The Chameleons. But even worse: unlike with King Gizzard, I don't even really know the band! Put me in the *looks in the notes* pillory. Ez a város - the only reason it's this below because I listen to Európa Kiadó more on other platforms. :) I link this, because it's Hungarian and you'd find songs with the same title but shittier music if it wasn't for me. I biased but I don't care. ...OK, I care a bit. As much as I love this band, the lyrics make the difference here, so non-Hungarian speakers are inherently missing out and might just see it as any other new wave / alternative band. Still, recommended (of course!). Also, at bottom left quarter now you can recognize Jenő Menyhárt, the bandleader music director of the band.

Top bands:

King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - surprise! Remember the above-mentioned Australian indie as the bronze-winner genre? King Gizzard single-handedly contributed to that. The funny - and maybe touching :3 - thing is that King Gizzard is actually one of my brother's favourite bands. The exception rule of my cynical take is that people might do care about other's taste if they are close friends or relatives. At least I do. So that's why I listened to the ABSOLUTE WHOLE FUCKING DISCOGRAPHY of the King Gizzard!!! And them being a really, I mean REALLY prolific band, it was easy to reach the top here. Their stuff is so diverse and energetic, but eventually... I like some of their albums, some of them I kinda love, even, but I don't think I became a real fan. I wouldn't go to their concert by myself but if someone important invited me OR I magically won a ticket, I'd gladly go. The Beatles - .......really?! - I muttered with a smirk. Honestly, fuck The Beatles. OK, I am just being edgy here. But they only finished on the second place because I clicked on a "basic Beatles for x hours" recommendation playlist and I complied, but wasn't impressed by the end. My point is, it's easy for a band to get a metric fuckton of hours if you binge them for whatever reason and then Spoti draws the wrong conclusion because quantity and preference don't necessarily correlate. (I guess I could've concluded already above but honestly, fuck the Beatles.) Európa Kiadó - I made my point above. One addition: their live stuff is often waaaay better than the studio stuff but those are available elsewhere, so the third place is reasonable. New Order - hmm. A band I kinda like, but don't like enough for the fourth place. Then I remembered that I binged two of their albums so I get it. The Smiths - well I wonder how come someone hasn't noticed that I'm dead these guys have only reached the fifth place? Kinda guilty pleasure, but I cannot not like the Smiths. So this is why we got Morrissey at the bottom right corner, not that he would deserve it, tho. Also I made his glasses with the anime school of obscuring glass because if I'm already embarrassed myself, why not top all of it with weeb shit.

Now peace out, I have to shower and go to the party where possibly better music is played (granted, my brother is also invited there). Happy New Year in advance for all my lovely mutuals and all the others passing by! <3

UPDATE: oh fuck, I forgot one more thing. I played King Gizzard for 728 minutes, which qualified me for the top 3% of listeners! Yeah, that's 12 hours and 8 minutes! If this doesn't impress you, nothing will.

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

I was re-listening to this song earlier, thinking about the different lyrics that have defined my year this year. I thought back to how this one clearly defined February to early March for me but couldn't for the life of me remember the song. I couldn't find it in my search history either until I very suddenly remembered a rough version of the lyrics and beat.

So, why am I making a post about it?

I started listening to it to see if there were any hidden meanings or messages in it that I hadn't seen before when I first heard the cover of this song. I like doing this because whenever I feel called to study music closer, I always end up finding out something that absolutely shocks me.

This song was no different. I guess I was more focused on the vocals when I heard it because I didn't pay any attention to the actual lyrics because I didn't even realize she was talking about new york!! This would be a hundred times funnier if I could tell you anything about who I was showing this cover to at the time because I was probably the only one unaware of what this song was about lmao

As I was listening to the original song and reading the lyrics that I saw a video with the original singer, Suzanne Vega, talking about the meaning of the song. The video follows her around New York City as she discusses the story behind the lyrics. It took a minute for me to register what city she was in because the captions were in Dutch, so my brain assumed it was the Netherlands or something. But I recognized the areas she was walking through, and then I realized she was saying the entire song was based on an actual restaurant in New York. I've never been to that restaurant a day in my life, but as soon as I saw it, I was so certain that I'd been there. It could also have a small thing to do with the fact that my mom watched Seinfeld religiously when I was a child, but whatever.

Anyway, she also walked past this cathedral, which she mentioned in the song, and I immediately screamed because I was like I've been there! I've seen that cathedral! The above picture was taken one day after I turned thirteen in like August 2012. That same day, I walked to Washington Square Park, and took photos of the arch, and I don't have any idea where exactly this was, but I walked into the coolest costume shop ever and I think I bought a masquerade mask there (which I still have).

I remember seeing a man in a bunny costume just walking (or hopping?) down the street. I also remember seeing two people completely naked and going at it on a cardboard box in an alley in broad daylight, which I still find absolutely hilarious. I also almost got hit by a car (more than likely) on this day. And I don't mean that in a "a new york driver drove really fast past me and I worried I was going to get hit because no one actually seems to follow any pedestrian laws" sense, but more like in the sense that this man actually almost hit me because I was walking alone and I have a phobia of moving cars, so when he was coming at me, I just froze up and he looked freaked tf out too. (this was also why i wasn't allowed to walk around new york by myself, because i struggled to even cross the street unless someone was holding my hand)

It was actually on E 21st street, right next to Gramercy Park. I was on my way back home from the huge Barnes and Noble on 17th street. I had expected to meet my true love that day, instead I nearly met my untimely death!

For a long time, there was no city I wanted to visit less than New York City. My family lives there, and there are so many other reasons that made me not want to ever go again. But regardless of that fact, there's a moment when you first enter the city from out of state, right before the smell of hot, wet garbage absolutely knocks you out, where the air smells sweet and savory and like cinnamon, depending on where you come in at. There's the wonderfully thrilling moment when you enter the Lincoln tunnel at night, and the cars light up the inside of the tunnel and if you don't think about what might be on those walls, you want to reach out and run your hands all over the walls and remember that texture forever. During the day was just as wonderful because the tunnel was so dark, and when you ended up on the other side after a twelve hour road trip, everyone would squeal and cheer with relief because it meant we were finally there.

And maybe I saw two people having sex on a dilapidated cardboard box, and hid all my belongings in my shoes because I was terrified of getting mugged. But I'll never forget the snow. I'll never forget getting pizza with my aunt and it raining on the way home, so the pizza was completely drenched and just salty and gross and soggy but still so good. Maybe 99% of me hates it so much, but 1% of me goes back to a time in my life where I just had to see the Chelsea hotel, and where I walked through Central Park and heard music playing and so much energy around me.

I'll never forget sneaking out of my grandma's apartment and leaving her door cracked open like the little southern dumbass I am and waving at a girl who told me to fuck off in response while I was walking (that definitely pissed me off btw). I'll never forget fainting when I got home because I never drank water and have never been able to handle heat a day in my life. Us southern girls can't go an hour, let alone a whole month without AC. For some god awful reason, when I was growing up, I rarely entered a store that had it. I'm a little convinced on this fact alone that most new yorkers have a penchant for sadism or something because I know I'm not the only one who wants to jump off a building kermit style being in that heat.

It hits me so randomly sometimes and I miss New York so much it hurts. I'll just think, "I should have gone to NYU, I should have never listened to my dad. I should have tried going to Columbia like I wanted to." or "I miss the lights and cars." In the south, we have crickets, cicadas and the rumble of trains miles away. The crickets and cicadas get so loud it's almost impossible to sleep until it isn't, and then it becomes hard to sleep without. It's the same in New York. The sounds of cars and loud talking and beeps and life gets so loud that it's almost impossible to sleep until it isn't. And then when you go home to the cicadas and the crickets and the trains, all you can think about is how much you miss the sounds of the same cars you used want to shout at.

I never miss New York until it's late at night, and I can remember the nights I used to sit up on my grandma's windowsill, trying desperately to steal wifi from the neighbors next door, or trying to sleep and staring at the plastic aquarium nightlight that she kept on the shelf until I drifted off. It was the most boring city on earth before I started sneaking out. I wasn't allowed to leave the apartment, there were a solid four good channels (I watched so much degrassi, boy meets world, maury and H20: Just add water), no wifi, no books to read or crafts to do or anything. I just had to sit there and watch people walk past all day.

And when I started sneaking out, I'd go to the NYU campus and any park I could find, and I'd pretend that I was going to walk past or meet the person who I'd spend the rest of my life with. I never did, but it's okay. The experience was better than anything I could have imagined. I'd go to costume stores, and art stores, and bookstores and I'd explore all the places I could find. Sometimes I wish I had been bold enough to use the money my parents gave me to go do stuff, like take theater classes or something. They definitely never would have known.

I miss the assumption that I would always go back to that place.

That one day I'd go and see the places my brother should have taken me to like he promised. All the cheesy places like Ellis Island (so I can see where my great grandfather first entered the US at age 12!!), or the top of the Empire State building or the Brooklyn Bridge. I'd actually do anything to at least see Brooklyn. But it would be a bit too painful, and I don't even know what I'd do there anyway. Probably take a picture, post it on Instagram and say, "Brooklyn in Brooklyn! bah dum tsss!"

Anyway, so clearly this song took me down memory lane lol

[vivisextion]

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

[raidenenthusiast]

dear jonghyun,

i love you.

beyond that, i don't know where to begin. i don't know what to say. i haven't even been a shawol for the entire year, and yet i can't believe it. it seems like such a long time. but i guess i'll start at the beginning.

maybe about five months ago, my ex started getting me to listen to kpop. i got into exo first, and for a little while they were the only group that i paid attention to.

eventually, i started hearing more and more about shinee. i knew my partner loved you guys too, so i started trying to get into you guys as well as exo. and at first, i couldn't. i knew about what had happened, i remembered it happening a year ago and being on the outside of it. so when i started into it aware, it hurt.

i would see a video of the five of you, and then a few videos down, it'd be down to four. i'd think about how the four of them had to now perform and sing without you. i'd think about how you'd never get to perform some of your songs live. so many things would make me sad, and i was scared. scared that if this tragedy already made me so sad, before i had barely even learned your name, it would be too much if i ever truly got attached to and fell in love with the group.

so i kind of stopped myself for a while. i was barely a shawol, but listening to all of you made my heart ache. i couldn't do it. i couldn't listen to shinee. i tried to start somewhere, i tried to listen to taemin on his own first. but that didn't work either.

and there was a part of me that knew you were going to be my bias. i can actually tell you the exact moment that made up my mind.

when i was making my kpop playlist, it was on spotify. spotify only has a live version of ring ding dong, so when i was adding it, i had to add that one. when i heard you sing the verse right before the second chorus, something clicked and i fell in love with your voice.

and that was a big reason that i was scared. because i knew that i was going to fall in love with you. and i was scared of how painful it would be. so i stopped myself from leaping headfirst into shinee because of that.

but there came a point where you knocked those walls down entirely. i found and watched the video of your performance of y si fuera ella. your voice, your face, the fake blood on your white suit, the gunshot, every second of it made my heart ache. i sat on my bed for a half hour afterwards and just cried. i'd been afraid to cry before. but thanks to you, i wasn't anymore, and i was finally able to listen to shinee regularly.

and i fell in love. words cannot describe how much you five mean to me. i stared at this screen for so long trying to think of something that could possibly express how much i love all of you. i'm still stuck. you five have given me so much. beautiful music, such openness and kindness, a wonderful friend ( @sunflowerjjong ), happiness, so many good things. and i can't think of anything that i could say that would ever repay you for that.

but, what i can say is thank you. thank you for what you've done for me. you've been a shining light in the darkness these past few months. and as long as i know that you're there, watching over me, i'm okay.

there have been so many hard times. and sometimes, i feel guilty. guilty that i rely on you so much when so many other shawols, as well as your family, friends, and the rest of shinee have it so much harder than i do. but i saw something you said one night. you said that you don't need to know a person face to face to have a relationship with them. and that made it so much easier. because i knew that if you said that, and if you knew how much i care about you, then you might care about me too.

but at the same time, i feel guilty for other reasons. so many shawols can't listen to you or shinee because it hurts too much. and my heart goes out to all of them. but sometimes, i feel guilty for the opposite reason. i can listen to you. i can listen to shinee. and maybe i thought that i wasn't grieving enough. but i know that everyone feels in different ways. you bring me comfort, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that. just like there's no reason to be ashamed of feeling like it's just too unbearable.

your words touch me in ways i never thought possible. sitting on my couch late at night, crying, reading the note that you left us, as broken as my heart felt, it felt whole, too. so much of what you wrote, i felt too. i understood. i still do feel a lot of those things. and knowing that you did too makes me feel so much less alone.

i wish i could have met you. i wish i could have hugged you. i wish i could have looked you in the eyes and told you how much i love you. and the fact that i can't makes me unbelievably sad. but i'll still make it known. i'll still say goodnight to the moon. i'll still tell the sky that i love you, in hopes that you can hear me.

you may be gone, but it feels like you're here with me. when that meteor flew across the sky on my birthday just seconds after i'd started crying, saying i missed you, i knew it was you. i felt it. as if you were telling me not to miss you, because you were right there with me, and you always have been, and you always will be.

and i promise, i will never remember you as simply just a sad story. you are so much more than your tragedy. you are so much more than your pain and sadness. you are a beautiful, glowing light in this dark world, one who has lit up so many lives and reached millions of hearts.

i want to make you happy, and i want to make you proud. i want you to know how much you inspire me. i want you to look down at me and smile, because you know how much you've impacted my life. but most of all, i want you to know how much i love you.

these past few months were dark. there were times when giving up crossed my mind. and that terrified me. because i never wanted to give up. i just thought that i had to. and you helped me realize that i didn't.

and you helped me in so many other ways, too. you still do. and you always will.

i listen to your voice after a long day. you sing with such care and beauty, and sometimes, if i close my eyes, it feels like you're singing right to me. like you're taking my hand, guiding me towards your light. like you're holding me in your arms, reassuring me that everything will be alright. sometimes, it feels like you're crying along with me. but it always feels like you're listening. and it always feels like you're there. and sometimes, just letting out a sigh with you at the very beginning of end of a day is enough to calm me down.

your lyrics help me immensely, too. i relate to so many, like how in elevator, you sing about looking at your reflection and not recognizing yourself. or how in end of a day, you sing about how all you want is for someone to hold you after a tiring day and tell you that you did well. or how in let me out you plead for someone to hold you, help you, because you're so tired and you don't know if you can go on. and looking back on all that now, you were calling for help. and i'm so sorry that you didn't get it when you needed it most.

but apart from that, all of those feelings are within me, too, in one way or another. and hearing your soft voice sing out those things that i feel too is so comforting.

i look up at the moon when i feel alone. it's always there in the sky when i'm at my lowest. even today, i was worrying that i wouldn't be able to see your comet. i went to look outside, and there was the moon, shining through the clouds. you always know when i need you. sometimes i'll talk to you for so long i lose track of time. and i never know for sure if you're listening. but i hope you are. and the possibility is enough for me. and i hope that, like you sing in before our spring, watching over me makes you happy. i hope that you see me and smile because you know how much i love you.

there are things you said, that i find, that are somehow exactly what i need to hear in the moment. maybe i'll see that you said for us to take care of ourselves. maybe i'll see that you said it's okay to feel lost in life. maybe i'll see that you said it's okay to cry. but every single time, whatever i find that you said is exactly what i didn't even know i was looking for. you know. you know when i need you, and you never let me go it alone.

all of these things and more give me the strength to push forward. you give me the strength to fight. because i know that you wouldn't want me to stop. and i know that you don't want me to join you. whenever i feel like i'm drowning, i know i can just reach for your hand.

there's something that i like to tell myself whenever things get hard.

"you did well, so i will too."

and i will, jonghyun. i promise i will.

i drew this moon for you. i wrote your lyric with it. i wanted to do something for you, even though nothing can ever repay you for how much you've done for me.

i love you so much, jonghyun. and i miss you every day. but as long as you're in my heart, and in turn by my side, i will never stop fighting. you make me feel a warmth and a hope that i never want to let go of.

your kindness, your strength, your love for those around you, your softness, your smile, your beautiful soul and your lovely voice will forever hold a special place in my heart. you live on through each and every one of us. and in turn, you help us live on as well.

you've taught me so much. you've taught me to always be kind. you've taught me that it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel. you've taught me to have hope, no matter what. you've taught me to pursue my dreams. but most of all, you've taught me how to be strong, how to fight with every ounce of strength left in me. because if i have you cheering me on, i can do anything.

you make me feel safe. because i have the most wonderful angel in heaven watching over me and looking after me. sometimes i wonder how i ever got so lucky. whenever i miss you badly, i think that you were a gift, but heaven needed their angel back eventually. the time we were given with you on earth was beautiful, and i'll forever be thankful for it. thank you for staying as long as you did. and thank you for never really leaving, not entirely.

i love you. i can't say it enough. i want to say it a million more times. and maybe it seems like i'm talking in circles. but i say it so much because all i want is for you to know. i love you. we love you. and we will never, ever forget you. you will forever be in our hearts, in our minds, in our lives, and in our skies. may you have found the peace and happiness that was lost to you on earth.

you did so well, angel.

always be with you.🌙

with love,

- hannah

[skzfaker]

AMFKKFKFKDKF that's hilarious, does sf9 never wear jeans?

OK AND WOW YOUR GRAPHICS. those are so amazing!!!! how do u do that. That's so stellar. U are the coolest the sexiest the neatest. I bow to u

I'll have to send u my stupid transposed song once I'm revealed 👀 and if I said the name I think u could easily look it up and find it akfodkfksk. But it's certainly a time. My stay friends lose their minds when I bring it up bc it's so cursed

as for emo phases, I never had one so I'm having it rn low-key 😭 just bc of how I was raised in a really religious household, I wasn't rly allowed to have that kind of self expression. Now I'm in college and I'm 🖤😈🔪🥵🔥 at least how I look, people say I am a sweetheart akkfkwkfken

inception orchestra version would be WONDERFUL OMG. if I ever have the inspo I think I'd do that. The rap parts for inception are chill tho, I think I could do it. It's not like Changbin in hellevator lmao. But if I had to pick a song to do I think I'd do chronosaurus or heroes (we could be) by Alesso!

oh yeah, for PCs I only buy the ones that I think are cute! Tho coincidentally I think all of my ult's ones are cute so here we are 😭👌 but I definitely don't have all of them, that would be super daunting

And printing your graphics is a good idea!! 👀 They're so beautiful

I have not ordered skz seasons greetings, and I think my parents may have gotten the ateez seasons greetings for Christmas - I asked for ateez albums and now they aren't letting me buy any myself which makes me think they may have bought quite a few 😳😳😳🤞🤞🤞

and my ult is not mingi! I'll give u another chance bc I said earlier, I went crazy over my guy in kingdom :') and mingi wasn't in kingdom bc of mental health so it definitely isn't him. Any of the other seven are fair game tho 👀👀👀

my favorite skz music video is definitely chronosaurus or miroh. I cant tell u exactly why, I just love the vibes

- 🎅

oh they wear jeans...just at inappropriate times HAHAHAHA. like for real, i don't know how to vault properly in skinny jeans either. and then there's the good guy MV where they're playing sports like tennis and soccer...in suits. i mean they look good doing it at least. where else would you find good-looking guys playing scrabble in a 3-piece.

AHHH THANK YOU! no really i'm very glad you like them (even tho they're not your fandoms' stuff) - i feel like i spent way too much time making them. oh hey, maybe after the reveal, i can make you something too?

HAH OKAY i am looking forward to that song. i'm sure it's a masterpiece ＼(゜ロ＼) i wonder if i should listen to it while reading the story you'll write or would that be too much HAHAHA

eyy that's great you're finally letting your emo flag fly! i can kinda relate - i went to catholic school so i had to wear uniforms all the time and i couldn't dye my hair - but of course, the emo never went away it's not just a PHASE mom! what are your favorite songs in that genre? ah i'm sure people are right about you being a sweetheart tho - i'm very happy you've been assigned to me as my secret santa. i don't really have much stay friends (see 'lazy introvert') and some of the other stays i've met are...yeah, so i'm glad you're here ( ;∀;)

sappiness aside, now that you bring it up, an orchestra version of chronosaurus would sound AMAZING. heck, turn ALL their songs into orchestra versions please! i imagine it'd sound as great as those rock/punk goes classical covers.

manifesting that seasons greetings for you! ooh and other merch too! yeah i'd take that as a sign that they're totally getting you kpop stuff for christmas hahaha. i asked my sister to just get me all the I AM albums to get my collection over with, and surprisingly she agreed (i feel like she just doesn't want to think of what else to get me but whatevs)

...right i totally missed the part where you mentioned kingdom i have great reading comprehension skills clearly so let me try again. i consulted with my atiny friend and i gave her some more clues (like how your bias is changbin), and official guess #2 is san...did i get it right this time?

ahh the vibes really are pretty good for those two MVs. i especially like the whole theme miroh was going for. of the more recent ones, i'd say i like god's menu the best just because it's what got me sucked into this fandom in the first place (and long, blonde haired hyunjin. can't forget about him).

[hongjoongslut]

Happy Birthday

idolboyfriend!yunho × genderneutral!reader 

warnings: some slight smut mention at the end, just Christmas and boyfriend!yunho being the SWEETEST. 

word count: 2.5k

enjoy!!!

December. one of your favorite months. not only because of the chilly weather, you also get to spend more time with your lovely boyfriend Yunho. He would always go out for your Christmas gifts. Last year he made a cheesy treasure hunt that led to a beautiful necklace with his initial on it. Aside from his cheesy manner, he loves to decorate. 

"Babyyyyy~" you were awoken by a familiar angelic voice. "come on y/n, we gotta decorate the tree!!" you groan. "can you at least wait until 10? its 8:30 in the morning." yunho laughed and jumped on the bed, forcing you to wake up completely. "Yunho i'm going to kill you after Christmas passes." he smiled and kissed your head. "At least you'll wait so you won't be on the naughty list this year, although some of the things you've done would show you're naughty" you slap him with a pillow while laughing. "no talk of that until I wake up and get out of bed." 

You finally got up and dressed yourself. Wearing one of his hoodies and some sleep shorts, you walked into your living room. Something chocolatey tingles your nose. 

"See, I told you it'd be worth it to start decorating early in the day. I made us hot chocolate! I even got marshmallows in there just for you." you smile and give him a kiss on his cheek. "h-how come it wasn't my lips??" you giggle at his pout. "maybe because I want to wait until we have the mistletoe up." He hurriedly set down his drink and practically jumped over to the decorations box. He shuffled through bells and ornaments, trying to find it. "Found it!!!" he ran back over to you and held it above you. "Yunho that's not what I meant." he pouts again. "well you didn't clarify so now you have to kiss me!" you just sigh and finally give him what he wanted. You heard him throw the mistletoe, holding your face with both hands. He pulled away, leaving you both begging for air. “Now, can we start on the tree?” 

Hours of decorating and getting distracted later, the tree was finished. It was almost perfect. “Where’s the angel for the top of the tree?” Yunho just looked at you and smiled. “The only angel in the house would be too big for this tree.” you scoff and smile at his line. “Seriously baby, we can’t have a complete tree without a topper.” He stood for a second before rushing to your shared bedroom. “We can put Mr. Snuggy up there!” You saw the first stuffed animal he ever gave you clutched in his arms. You smile lightly and nod in agreement. Yunho effortlessly put the teddy bear on top of the tree, well, close enough to the top. 

“It’s so pretty baby.” you hug his side and stare into the millions of shining lights. “I know it was late putting the tree up, but I knew ATEEZ would be busy for December.” Yunho smiles and nods. “Putting up the tree right on Christmas Eve was very late, but it’s okay.” you were about to kiss him when he smiled and sang “cause all I want for Christmas, is you!!!” you just smiled and went to go get ready for bed.

It was 10:00 AM. You stirred until you didn’t feel Yunho by your side. You were about to call his name when he opened the door. “Good morning darling. Merry Christmas.” you smile, barely opening your eyes. He picked you up and carried you to the living room. It was filled with sweet aromas. Hot Chocolate, Gingerbread Candles,and Cinnamon filled your senses. You had a strict tradition for Christmas. You can give each other 2 gifts. One is a gag gift and the other is the real one. “Open this one baby, you’ll love it” Yunho hands you a medium size box. You eagerly opened it to find a fake flower with a note. “I will love you until the flower is no more.” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I knew you were cheesy but that was actually very cute. Here’s yours.” he grabbed a red bag and shuffled through the tissue paper. You had made a box that had a bunch of “coupons” that he could use. “Are these the coupons that give me free kisses and hugs whenever I want? You nodded. “Yes! I needed these.” Before you tried to give his other gift, he stopped you. “Baby, your other present kinda correlates with your birthday, is that okay? Of course you’ll get other gifts that day but this is a half christmas/birthday gift.” You nodded and reached for your gift. It was a very tiny box. Two concert tickets sat in front of you. They were blank on the side you were seeing. You flipped them over and saw Monsta X written on them. You immediately tackled him and started sobbing. “Baby, this must have cost a fortune! You didn’t have to spend this much on me!!" Yunho shook his head. "remember I told you Shownu and I were close in training days." you sat speechless. "when is it baby??" "look at the tickets y/n…" it read February 18th [or use your own, I used mine since it was close?]. "On my birthday!!! Yunho, this is the best present I've ever had, besides waking up to you everyday." you hug him tightly. "Your other gift is in this bag, I saw it and immediately thought of you." He opened the bag to see a hoodie with a picture of you two with the heart filters on snapchat on the front. "i-if you don't like it, that's okay ill just wear-"

he stopped you with a passionate kiss. you could feel him smiling through each kiss. "baby, I fucking love it!!! Why would you think I wouldn't wear it. If I never got dirty, I'd wear it everywhere all day. People can see how cute and squishy you are. The picture you chose makes your cheeks looks so cute!! That was our first picture together." He took off his shirt and put the hoodie on. "not to mention it's so soft inside! thank you baby, i love it." you spent the rest of the day snuggling on the couch watching Christmas movies. This was one of the best Christmas memories you will have.

*major time skip!*

you could not stop dancing and singing the lyrics to every song Yunho played. He decided it would be fitting to jam to Monsta X since you were on the road to the center. "Baby..I just realized that I don't know what center they're performing at, you never told me and it looks like it wasn't on the tickets either." he turned down the radio. "because, as another part of your surprise, they're performing at the center we met at." you felt tears tease your eyelids. "Really? Yunho, all of this doesn't seem just coincidental. Are you planning something else behind my back?" you joke with him, knowing he'd never hurt you in any way. "I promise y/n, I haven't planned anything. All I did was get us very close seats to the concert. Pinky promise." he extended his finger to meet yours. Little did you know, his other fingers were crossed.

It was about 10 minutes before the show started. you could not hide your excitement. "Hey baby, I'll be right back, I have to go use the restroom. I promise I'll be back in time." he kissed you and ran off. You haven't got a text from him or anything. You were seriously worried. All of your thoughts paused when the lights went off. 6 familiar men rose from under the stage. Everyone was on their feet, screaming their voices out. You were no different from everyone else. 

"What's up everyone!!" Jooheon yelled, making the crowd go wilder. "Alright guys, we wanted to make this concert special since we have not had a concert in so long. I think you'll love the surprise" Shownu smiled and was trying very hard to not spoil the surprises. You heard the stage platform raise again, only to see Wonho. "We got our bunny back! Let's give him some extra love!" Changkyun could barely finish the sentence before running over to hug him, along with the rest of the men. You couldn't hear anything but screams. "Hi guys!!! Thank you all for the support, it seriously helped me" you started feeling tears in your eyes. You suddenly remembered Yunho was still missing. "This is not the only surprise we have planned, Monbebe. Since it's the first concert with our bunny back, we thought we'd have some special guests." Kihyun could barely be heard over the crowd screams. The group asked the crowd to calm down for a moment. The music for "Thanxx" started playing as Ateez ran out from behind the stage. You finally saw Yunho and he looked absolutely gorgeous. He was in his outfit from their music video. "What's up Monbebe??" San smiled as he heard the cheers. 

You've heard Inception, Love Killa, Thanxx, and Nobody Else so far. When one group performed, the other was chanting and dancing along with them. "I think it's time for our last surprise. Before we do, I want to say thank you to Monsta X, Monbebe and ATINY for making this possible." Yunho started speaking, making your heart swell. "I have someone that I need to come on stage" he starts walking off the stage, security trying to keep fans away from touching him. Your body lights up with a spotlight. Yunho stands in front of you, offering his hand to you. You took his hand and walked back onto the stage. You almost couldn't walk, your legs felt like jelly. "Everyone, this is my partner Y/n." The crowd clapped and awed. You were trying to hide your face from blushing but Yunho was quick to stop you. "Look, they're shy..give them some applause!" The crowd clapped, screamed, even chanting your name. "Alright guys, I think it's time for the next song. This is a special version of a song that we made." Wonho smiled at you, making you fangirl inside. 

You heard the beginning notes of "She's The One" but it wasn't Shownu singing, or any of the other members. It was Yunho. He was staring at you as he started to sing the beginning.

"They're the one, got me all messed up. I could write a million songs, but I know it's not enough.They're so beautiful and I know they know it. They know how to think, yeah they always owns it."

The group sang the lines he skipped. You felt tears streaming down your face. You wanted to stop them but you were too mesmerized.

"Think about their face every time I wake up. At night I wanna ask about how their day was. They make my knees feel weak They make my drink feel stronger, Can't eat, can't sleep, can't dream Can't wait any longer, any longer now"

The breakdown came. The crowd, Monsta X and ATEEZ were singing. Yunho was looking at you, smiling and tearing up. He let Monsta and ATEEZ sing the rest of the song while he held you and danced with you. The crowd started clapping before you could process what just happened. "Everyone, I need to say something to Y/n." It fell silent.

"I know I lied to you about this whole concert thing, but I had to. Y/n, I love you more than anything in life. I don't care who knows I do. I love showing you off. I love everything you hate about yourself. I want to spend my life with you. I want to grow old and try to dance like we did in our younger ages. I want a house and a pet with you. We either have kids or pets. I will leave that up to you. Overall Y/n, you are just perfect for me." he sat on one knee and asked the infamous question "will you marry me?" 

You stood shocked. You couldn't hear the crowd. You were just focused on what just happened.

"Yunho...yes, yes I will marry you!" he slid the ring on and hugged you tightly. You were so happy, you could barely stand. He helped you back to your seat and all the boys continued their concert. 

It was another hour before they all said goodbye to the crowd. Yunho grabbed you and took you backstage. You were welcomed with applause and yells. The staff were very kind to you and congratulated you. "Yunho, you seriously need to teach me how to charm" Shownu laughed, along with everyone else. "I know I just got proposed to, but can we talk about what the hell just happened? San, Jongho, Mingi, Joongie, Yeosang, Wooyoung and Seonghwa, you sneaky little bastards." they all laughed. "It was very hard to not spoil this. You know I am the hardest to keep a surprise. Remember your two year anniversary party?" San could never keep a secret. He told you there was a surprise party then immediately ran away. "Regardless of that, you actually kept this one in, I'm proud." Mingi joked around. "Okay, so holy shit hi Monsta x. I've been a fan for years. I joined when-" Wonho decided to interrupt. "Yunho already told us all about your history with us. Thank you for the support. We all appreciate it." You all talked until it was time to leave.

"thank you guys again.. this meant the world to me." Yunho smiled and agreed with your statement. You asked a staff member to take a picture with all of the boys. You parted ways, Yunho deciding to drive you home. 

"you've had this planned for how long?" you started crying again. "Baby, I've had this planned ever since I met you. But in seriousness, probably a few months. It was hard for all of us to keep it a secret, especially from the fans." All you could do is stare at the ring and smile. "and before you ask, yes I meant every word I said. I did have to exclude some of the things I wanted to say." you turned your head. "well tell me what they were?" "well, I love how you pleasure me..how your lips fit around my cock so well, as if they were made for me..watching the moments your dominant side is showing. I love everything." Even in the dark, he could still see your face turn a crimson red. 

You slept all the way home. He carried you into your shared bedroom, stirring you awake. "I didn't want to wake you love, but you need to change into more comfy clothes to sleep in." you loved how caring he is with you. Deciding on wearing his t-shirt and sleep shorts, you plop on the bed, waiting for him to cuddle you. "I love you very much y/n. please never forget that." he kissed your forehead. "sweet dreams, my future spouse."

"goodnight my future husband."

i hope you enjoyed reading this! it was very sweet to me and please if there's any errors or anything, let me know! 💜

[100hearteyes]

This cover was in an old miscellaneous music CD my parents had and we heard it a LOT throughout my childhood. Several years later, when iPods took over for good, we found out that the album was copyright protected and we couldn't copy this song to the computer. iTunes didn't have it either, because as it turns out, you'll be hard-pressed to find a more obscure cover of any song.

Anyway, I decided to look for it on the internet but all I found was karaoke versions. I didn't give up though and several weeks later I was finally able to find a SoundCloud post with this song 🎉 it had an album cover and all, but you couldn't download it (maybe you can now though, idk). Still it had valuable information: the singer was Dutch and there is also a Dutch version of this song — it's actually sold on Amazon. But I wanted the English version, the one I'd grown up with! This called for a new strategy.

I found a way to override the copyright protection and finally, finally managed to copy the song to my computer. I wasn't satisfied though. The world needed to know this song. So I downloaded the album cover from the SoundCloud post, created a YouTube account, and uploaded the song. Which means that now, if you search for "coco can't take my eyes off you" on Google the first videos result you'll find is actually my video. The video I shared up there was uploaded by yours truly and (I only just checked) it has over 900 views! The thought that almost a thousand people had a much easier time than I did finding this song thanks to that video is oddly satisfying. Anyway, that's how much I love this song. So I had to force it into this list in any way that I could.

Imagine my joy when I found out, just a few months ago, that it was available on Spotify — and with like five different versions, plus the Dutch one (Spotify would have made my life a lot easier at the time 😅):

[zzapzzaptasers-a]

DARCY’S WEIRD ADDICTION TO VAPOR WAVE CONTINUES