#i couldn't find a lot of the videos i wanted to add to this playlist

[toadslug]

I'm putting together a playlist for old Wings of Fire videos!

Went down a WoF rabbit hole on YouTube and I ended up making a playlist for everything I found. This isn't a comprehensive playlist; it mostly consists of videos I watched when I was young. Posting here to see if anyone shares my nostalgia <3

Here's the playlist! I'll add to it if I find anything else. Feel free to share your own WoF nostalgia with me as well!

[ohwolfling]

I’ve come with a non bg3 related ask! I just played/finished Cyberpunk 2077 for the first time not that long ago (Don’t Fear the Reaper is the only path I haven’t done yet and I’m saving it for the next playthrough since I could never get it to work). I saw your video about doing The Tower ending and you mentioned you typically go for The Sun ending. I was curious about what makes that one your preferred ending/why it draws you in the most?

omg thank you for asking me about Cyberpunk 2077. She's the love of my life. 😭

I don't know that I'll ever 100% Cyberpunk 2077 (or any rpg) because I have a very strong, pit-in-the-stomach, stare-at-the-ceiling-in-guilt response to doing things that I consider Bad™ even for pretend and because this game is an INCREDIBLE addition to the genre that's already inescapable on several levels. So I commend you and I hope I can be brave in the future!

For me, the Sun ending is the only ending that is honest to my experience with Johnny Silverhand and V. I believe that their connection is an inescapable center of not just the story but every theme, motif, and moral quandary in the game. Even when I did a Corpo V stream and had chat make me make some harder choices that felt in character I couldn't find a way that justified V being judgemental of Johnny on a level that would sever that connection and chat ended up guiding me to The Sun ending once again. For context, I AM a SilverV shipper, but I did not ship my Corpo V and Johnny... those little differences still add up even as the ending is the same (and I think that's part of this game's narrative power honestly).

It feels right to honor Johnny's agency in that moment, his relative strength and the lessons he has learned from his little goodbye tour, and the way that in my opinion he EARNS V's trust when he doesn't have to. He's stronger in V's body and I think the way he and Rogue have always circled each other was always leading to this moment. It takes characters who experienced separate paths of self destruction and broken attempts at rebellion in a world designed to be rebellion proof and says, Fine. Then I'll die in the way. For me, it's also arguably a moment to let Alt fight for what remains of her humanity and Alt is I think much more crucial to the story the game wants to tell than a lot of people realize/engage with.

I think what Johnny ultimately wants is to die with real understanding and agency this time and that is also a gift he can give to V. Even if V never gets better (though I believe there's a lot in the game pointing to the possibility that they could), the Sun ending means they die on their turn. They leave their mark on Night City, which honors Jackie on some level, possibly Rogue on another, and for better or worse ascend literally and figuratively.

I do have a sort of fix it fic (ongoing, with an emphasis on SilverV for better or worse, and an attempt at a path to solarpunk/hope), if you're into that, that builds off of the Sun ending. My Tiktok has a Big Video Game Thoughts playlist that might interest you & two Cyberpunk 2077 playlists of random clips and things. <3

Thank you again for asking, Anon!

[butchsophiewalten]

haii i like JUST watched the walten files… idk if this blog is still alive, but im tryin to learn the lore and if u could give me a run-down of like the timeline/lore i would rlly appreciate it ^_^ TY!!!

Well i'm definitely still active, but this is kind of a tall ask! Also pretty complicated since there's a lot of fringe stuff that I care a lot about but probably isn't actually that important for a new fan to familiarize themself with right away, and sometimes it's hard for someone like me to differentiate that from the essential stuff. That said, I've written a lot here so it's going under a cut.

Just to cover all my bases: If you've just watched the series for the first time, be sure that you're also checking out the two hidden videos. They're both present in the Official Playlist in the order you're meant to view them, but there's really nothing wrong with watching both of them last, you shouldn't be that confused. These are technically and literally bonus content, but they ARE lore-important.

Also, a mutual of mine, @gir-posting put together a neocities site a while ago specifically with the intention of helping people who are new to The Walten Files get their bearings with it, and you can find that here:

Just as a note and to add my own pedantic criticism, this page eventually guides you towards the series' companion website, Findjackwalten.com, and provides archived links of all* the iterated versions of that site's pages. It's a LOT, don't worry about catching up on everything, it is literally all just bonus content to make the wait between episodes more fun. The Twfinfo page here also calls it an ARG, which i would not consider it by any stretch of the word's definition. It's just a website.

*some pages were never archived and Twfinfo is also missing the most recent findjackwalten update from August 15th.

I recognize that literally none of this is what you asked me for! This is because I honestly have a really difficult time trying to summarize the events of The Walten Files. But this is the part where I try:

In the late 50s, two college friends named Jack Walten and Felix Kranken came up with an idea for animatronic performers that, through the years, would eventually morph into the concept for Bon's Burgers. Sometime between 1968 and 1972, Jack and Felix's company, Bunny Smiles Incorporated, would partner with a company called CyberFun Tech to assist them in their Bon's Burgers project, providing them with resources and engineering expertise to create those animatronic performers they had envisioned. After lots of work, Bon's Burgers was set to open on June 1st, 1974.

This is the part you probably know. On May 2nd, 1974, Jack asked Felix for a favor he was needing. He was doing overtime at the workshop trying to get things ready for the opening, but his two youngest kids, Edd and Molly, needed someone to drive them to a school party they wanted to attend. His wife, Rosemary, couldn't take them, because she was taking his eldest daughter Sophie to the dentist. Felix agreed to the favor. You know what happened then.

This is where it gets fuzzy. After Edd & Molly's disappearances, the Bon's Burgers opening was postponed to June 28th. It seems like Jack and Felix more or less continued to collaborate on the project until Jack's disappearance on June 11th. We have no idea what happened to him after that.

The restaurant opened. At some point presumably between Jack's disappearance and the 30th of June, the animatronic Bon went strange. The lead engineer, Susan Woodings, decided to examine him after noticing some "irregularities" during his performance during the day, and he violently attacked her, then stuffed her damaged-but-still-living body into the animatronic Banny, where she eventually starved to death.

Bon's massacre would continue with the elusive employee, Charles B., who we continue to know next to nothing about except that he ended up in Boozoo, and would finish with Rosemary Walten, who had been returning to the restaurant regularly with hopes of finding her missing husband. The screams heard during Rosemary's attack and dismemberment were reported by the neighborhood and led to the restaurant's immediate closure. All of the restaurants assets, including its animatronic performers, were relocated to a storage unit in the middle of a nearby forest.

Over the years Felix pulled a lot of cheap merchandising schemes to try and keep the Bon's Burgers and Bunny Smiles brand relevant in the consciousness of Brighton. Lots of toys and direct-to-video cartoons and even a reasonably popular television series. In the late 70s he put forward a plan to fix up all the animatronics and reopen the Bon's Burgers restaurant in a new location. The first version of the plan went really terribly, since they just went and hired some teenaged engineers and put them on crunch time to try and fix everything wrong with four half-decade old complicated machines. One of those engineers, Ashley Parks, ended up poking around in some back hallways she wasn't supposed to see and was killed by Bon for snooping. She ended up in the animatronic Billy, who was present at the old Bon's Burgers location but has been kept suspiciously separate from the other animatronics for years.

Flash forward to 1982. Sophie Walten, the only living member of the Walten family, has been living with medication-induced amnesia for years. This is until her girlfriend Jenny introduces her to the BunnyFarm arcade machine, which has just been installed in the basement of the hotel where Jenny and she live. Through the machine, the spirits of her dead friends and family begin communicating with her, and she learns a lot of the information I just relayed to you. And that's where we are, really.

[silence-like-a-dead-man]

Bruce Wayne Music Taste Headcanons

(really quick so i deleted this playlist while cleaning out my yt unfortunately grrrr but yeah i meed to start fcking posting the stuff in my notes app that i've been keeping there for years)

Disclaimer & Huge Spoilers for The Batman (2022): This playlist is made mostly with pre-flood Batman in mind. I think that Bruce post-flood and post-Vengeance-arc has a broader and brighter music taste than the one I've curated for him. I may make a completely different playlist for post-flood Bruce because I believe that his music taste changes drastically when he enters his Hope arc.---------------------When he's in his cave, the music he listens to does not exist to calm him down. He purposefully listens to depressing, negative music with vulgar lyrics because he wants to stay in his misery, in his thick swamp of grief that is the Batcave. Bruce definitely has taste that leans towards the dark and the heavy (grunge, numetal, heavy metal, hard rock) but I think every once in a while he finds a song that he likes that doesn't fit his playlist genre-wise but he adds it anyway, most likely because he enjoys the lyrical content. (example: Excursions by A Tribe Called Quest is hip-hop, but the lyrics fit his life story extremely well, and the song itself is in Minor and feels very 'thick' and swampy due to the upright bass melody throughout the instrumental.) I think Bruce views lyrics as the most important aspect of the music he listens to. It's not enough that he vibes with a song, or that the song SOUNDS like something he would listen to. He needs to either relate to the lyrics or at least appreciate the lyrical content. I think Bruce listens to music that came out around the time he was born (he's a 90's baby in this Universe, age is late 20s-early 30s). He doesn't know a lot of new music, or even new pop culture because he's an absolute recluse and I don't think this man even knows who Beyonce is. He doesn't search for new music. He hasn't moved or touched anything in his parents' room because he wants to remember exactly what the room looked like the night they were killed. He doesn't want to get a new haircut or new clothes, he doesn't care about the newest ball or charity event or trend, he doesn't want new friends or acquaintances. He is the epitome of depression and PTSD. This may be really weird to say but I don't think pre-flood Bruce understood his privilege at all. He seems mildly confused whenever Selina brings up the fact that she's had life experiences that he couldn't possibly relate to because he's a rich white man. There are songs I wanted to add to this playlist (example: Alright by Kendrick Lamar) that talk about police brutality, political corruption, anti-government sentiments and the like, and I ended up NOT adding those songs because I don't think pre-flood Bruce had a good-enough grasp on the concept of privilege, ACAB, class differences, etc yet. A Kendrick song would be better suited for post-flood, "Hope" era Bruce.

(AN: Well, here's my first real fandom post on here! I think at some point I'm going to post my Billlie (kpop group) lore study, which may be used in momosunrise (YT)'s upcoming Billlie lore video, of which I am the original writer of in case anyone was wondering

(AN 2: I also may be posting a part 1 of a "Cillain Murphy filmography review" at some point, where I cover every film he's ever been in from 1997-2008. Be on the lookout for that!)

[chickenstrangers]

#5QLS tag

tagged by @waitmyturtles 🥰

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL shows that you actually listen to. 🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. Tilly Birds - เพื่อนเล่นไม่เล่นเพื่อน (Just Being Friendly) - My School President, Cutie Pie, Cupid's Last Wish

This is the song that started me on Thai music and I'm so happy for it. It's still probably my favorite song on this list. I love the original version, the MSP cover, NuNew's singing, but I especially love evil!Tilly Birds in Cupid's Last Wish when its the prelude to them getting lost.

2. NuNew and/or Zee - ใจรัก (LOVE) - Cutie Pie

Zee and NuNew both have amazing covers of this song (Zee's version) and with Just Being Friendly, this was I think the second song on my playlist. The actual scene in the show is one of the most excruciating scenes that I could barely sit through from second-hand embarrassment, and then Kuea sings it the next episode which is honestly kind of rubbing salt in the wound. But the song itself I love.

3. Dark Blue Kiss Opening Theme

I couldn't find a normal version of it without linking an episode, but this is genuinely my favorite opening sequence to a show, and it is one of the only ones that I will watch every time, even if I accidentally come upon it when trying to find a specific scene. Okay, I may be more obsessed with the video than the song itself, but the song definitely sets the tone. This opening is a roller coaster, starts dramatic, gets super cheesy, makes me laugh, but every time Kao comes on screen and a single tear rolls down his cheek I am instantly on the verge of tears.

4. Mix and Earth - ไม่ไกลหัวใจ (Closer) - Cupid's Last Wish

Though DBK has the best intro video, this is probably my favorite opening song to a show. Gets you in the mood for a fun lighthearted road trip to reverse a body swap. Honorary mention to their ATOTS Our Sky 2 song which I could not stop listening to and watching when it came out. I think the lyrics really capture the theme of the special. Yes I am putting 2 songs on this list spot.

5. ฟัง – SIN feat.โอม Cocktail - My School President

There's a lot of songs from MSP that could be on the list, but other than Just Being Friendly (which I am counting as a general BL song given how often it shows up) this is probably my most listened to song on the soundtrack.

6. Phai Phongsathon - คนบ้านเดียวกัน - Laws of Attraction

I was really trying to stick to 5ish main songs but then I remembered @recentadultburnout post about this song which appeared last episode and I have been listening to it a lot since then!

I have mostly kept to songs I haven't seen other people mention in their posts, so here's a quick list of my favorite songs that have already been discussed but that I second (not comprehensive):

Gunsmile - Pass (from Love Sick)

Wetter - Who (from The Eighth Sense)

Tilly Birds - I'm Not Boring, You're Just Bored (from Only Friends)

Anonymouz - 夜行性 (from Jack O' Frost)

Ayumu Imazu - Sunshower (from Eternal Yesterday)

CITI - Today (from You Make Me Dance)

And lastly, two of my favorite songs that barely fit because I don't think they were in any shows, but they were covered at the MSP concert, so I am counting them:

sorry for adding a million songs but hey why not talk about more music this is my post. tagging (if you want, no pressure, feel free to ignore) @recentadultburnout @distant-screaming (I love both your recs; I listened to MILLI for a week straight after a soundwin post haha) @ranchthoughts @dudeyuri @shannankle @miscellar @kattahj and anyone else who wants to share!

[bookuya]

modern au xiao x gn!reader┊fluff: dating life hcs

ingredients: you are dating modern au xiao, what is it like?

calories: xiao + gender neutral reader

serving size: modern/highschool au・fluff・748 words

let's start with his hands & clothing: xiao has white bandages around some of his fingers and a few silver rings, maybe 2 or 3 of them? he really likes it when you play with his rings while holding his hand (although it distracts him easily cause physical touch with you makes him blush madly)

might have a chain bracelet but if not, matching bracelets with you! it took a little bit of convincing to get matching items but in the end, he just couldn't say no to you. it would probably be yin and yang type of matching jewelry

i imagine him having a silver watch as well, not those expensive ones but just to quickly glance at for the time while he skateboards! xiao used to use his phone while skateboarding but after you talked about how dangerous it was and how you didn't want him to get hurt he stopped

owns a few bucket hats, he kinda gives off a "dark aura" and would wear full black (t-shirt and sweatpants or a hoodie) he dresses like that because he doesn't want anyone to bother/interact with him, well except for you of course!

his sneakers would probably be white or black as well, he also has silver chains around his belt loops (i think you can tell is type of colors/theme is black and silver)

owns and rides a motorcycle! its xiao's and also your way of transport to school, home, and etc. you sit behind him and xiao gets very flustered by your arms around his waist when he drives.

however, you guys walk as well! for example, 3 AM convenience store runs and walking to the park. bonus: you and xiao like to play tag on the kids playground and climb trees hehe

moving on! xiao loves it when you sit on his kitchen counter and talk to him while he cooks. he's not much of a talker but for you, he has many good things to say

speaking of talking: on the way home from school, he will talk to you about some random drama happening in your grade. honestly he finds it very cute on how you keep gasping and asking how he got the information in the first place (it's actually from his friend venti LMAO)

games a lot! xiao is pretty good at fps (first person shooter) but he also plays other stuff like animal crossing! he would introduce to you some games and try out some of the games you play as well :) sometimes even codes his own games!

definitely would share playlists on spotify (or whatever music platform you use) with you! xiao would listen to the songs you like and add it to his own playlists

has a tattoo, it's on his right arm/shoulder area! for the design, i think it would be a black rose/roses or a little quote ^_^

always pulls you close to him when you guys are walking on the sidewalk by the road, he's very paranoid of the cars driving by

oh? did i forget to mention FINGERLESS GLOVES?? xiao wears them when he's driving his motorcycle and it looks fabulous on him (honestly he should wear them always)

somehow he is just good at every sport... i could visualize him playing things like volleyball (hence the bandages on his fingers), tennis, badminton, maybe basketball?? either way, he isn't in any of the sport clubs at school, he just plays it with his friends and you!

xiao buys food for you all the time. no matter how much you protest and offer to pay, he does it anyways! once, you snuck into his house through a window and cooked him breakfast. when he woke up to you cooking his favorite food his cheeks were flushed red and he had to try so hard to avoid your gaze

lends you his hoodies and shirts and in return you get him new types of rings! to be honest the majority of his closet are full of clothes you bought for him cause this man always forgets to buy things for himself

xiao gives you neck and hand kisses on the daily! it's a way to say thank you for being there for him and for staying by him <33

video calls and so many texts. xiao will literally facetime you for hours or just to say good morning and good night! just seeing your face brightens up his whole day :D

please let me know if you would like me to do this with other genshin characters, i had so much fun writing this :)

[spookybias]

wheresoever you go ‣ [ choi yeonjun ] ✧

pairing: choi yeonjun x gn! reader

genre: fluff, angst | established relationship au | long distance trope.

description: yeonjun as your long distance boyfriend. in this one, the reader lives and goes to college in seoul, south korea (at first).

warning: insecurities. brief mention of suggestive content.

word count: 1.4k

⠀ ҉ PRE LONG DISTANCE

yeonjun was a clingy boyfriend. when he greeted you, he'd give you a big hug and kiss the top of your head. he always insisted on walking you home, whether it was day or night when the two of you would part ways. and since both of you had pretty busy schedules, yeonjun would make time to talk to you or meet up with you whenever he could.

when you broke the news that you were moving, yeonjun wasn't too phased at first. in his mind, there was nothing in the world that could tear you two apart. you were in love with each other and that was all that mattered. but as soon as he learned how far you were going, the weight of the situation became too much for him.

you picked a tile on the cafe floor and decided that you'd keep your eyes there so as to not see the look on yeonjun's face when you told him the bad news. "yeonjun, my family's moving and i want to go with them."

yeonjun gave you his famous smile, the one that was reserved for 'you're so cute' moments. he chuckled, "that's so sweet of you. where are you guys going? daegu? ansan?" he stirred his drink with his bendy straw and you watched as the chocolate milkshake swirled around. that, along with the bomb you had to drop on your boyfriend, was making you dizzy. you had chosen the cafe for a reason; neither of you were bold enough to make a scene in public.

you swallowed, but couldn't seem to make your throat feel less dry. "outside of the country, jjunie."

yeonjun stopped stirring his milkshake. he leaned back in the brown leather armchair of the cafe. "like, japan?"

you blinked back tears and tried not to think about crying. "farther than that," you replied, twiddling your fingers.

"singapore?" yeonjun's eyes darted back and forth. he looked like he was about to start gasping for air, maybe even lose consciousness. you hated that the place was much farther. why couldn't it had just been a couple cities over? why did it have to be in a different continent?

after giving him all the details, yeonjun chuckled and ran his hands through his hair repeatedly. you knew he wasn't losing his mind, but he sure was losing himself over the situation. he tried to convince you that you didn't really have to move with your family. you were an adult now, and you couldn't quit school. he said you could move in with him and the others, live at their dorm, but you knew that the idea was unrealistic. neither of you were ready to move in together and his boss would never allow it. you explained that you chose to go with them, and that you could transfer universities. yeonjun wanted to get mad at you, but instead, he respected your decision.

yeonjun got used to the idea of you being away from him for some time. that's just it, he got used to the idea. it hadn't actually hit him that you were moving far, far away until one day he came over, and you showed him pictures of what your family's new house would look like.

that's when yeonjun started to feel overwhelmed and anxious. he kept thinking that when you finally went over there, you would find someone within reach who was better than him in every possible way. so to fulfill his own insecurities, he would come at you with expensive gifts and outstanding dates. but then one day you told him that the two of you needed to talk and his fear of being broken up with went from a level 2 to a level 7. every time you tried to discuss the fact that you were moving away, he'd distract you with more expensive gifts and physical affection. afterwards, he always pretended to fall asleep or that he had to rush home so that you couldn't break up with him.

yeonjun wasn't sure what to do next. even the others knew there was something going on with him. it was two weeks before you would be leaving, and he was too afraid to talk to you because he thought you were going to dump him. though, he knew he needed to talk to you if he wanted you to stay with him.

it didn't take long for you to figure out what was going on with your boyfriend. so one day, you asked him out to breakfast, acting as if it would just be a regular date. yeonjun was stressed out the night before, wondering if you'd mention that you were leaving soon. when he showed up he had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess. he picked at his food the entire time, awaiting heartbreak. however, you weren't going to break up with him, and you needed to make that clear.

you reached across the table and took the fork out of yeonjun's hand. you intertwined your fingers with his and looked him straight in the eyes. "jjunie, why don't you talk to me anymore ?"

"y-you still call me jjunie?" yeonjun sniffled, but he refused to cry. you had your reasons for dumping him and he would just have to accept it.

"why wouldn't i call you jjunie?" you squinted at your boyfriend and sighed. "yeonjun, i'm not breaking up with you. i know you think i am."

yeonjun relaxed his shoulders. it felt like the weight he had been carrying for a few months had finally lifted. he closed his eyes, leaned back in his seat like he did the day you broke the bad news, and took a deep breath. he covered his face with his hands and asked in a tiny voice, "why did you want to talk to me?" he concluded himself to be a total loser.

"jjunie, are you dumb?" you giggled. "you're my boyfriend. i wanted to talk to you about what the plan was. you know, like what time is best to call, when you think we'd be able to see-"

yeonjun leaned over the cafe table and kissed you hard, cutting off your sentence. he loved you so much.

the day of departure, yeonjun accompanied you and your family to the airport. he held you in his arms, and tried to ignore the fact that it would be a long time until he got to hug you again. he wanted to put the moment in a bottle so that he could return at any time, and hold you for as long as he wanted. but he you knew he was okay. he knew the two of you would be okay.

⠀ ҉ POST LONG DISTANCE

yeonjun is still a clingy boyfriend. you guys would always shower each other in romantic gestures, but now it's triple the cheesy messages, double the cute playlists, and a whole lot of phone calls and video chats.

when he visits a new place, he always takes a picture to send to you and adds, "when you come back, let's go here together."

he sends you a whole lot of videos and voice messages, and you do the same, especially if it's a very busy day for one of you and you know you might not get the chance to talk. yeonjun's favorite thing to do is send you a voice message right when he wakes up so you can hear his raspy voice, and send videos of him blowing kisses at the camera.

it's much easier to tease you now. when he sees an outfit that's cute and a little sinful while walking past a store, he takes a picture to send to you and goes, "you would look cute in this. should i ship it to you so you can call me while wearing it?" please forgive the man, he doesn't get any action now that you're gone.

you spam him with tons of selfies. he saves all of them... until he runs out of storage and has to choose which ones he loves more and it's harder than any exam he's ever taken.

the idea of seeing him again is always on your mind. you miss the times he would walk you home, kiss your forehead, let you sit on his lap. and yeonjun constantly thinks about all of your old cuddle sessions and movie nights. he misses you so so much.

as far as insecurities go, yeonjun isn't worried about you ending things with him anymore. you, on the other hand, get a little nervous whenever you're on the phone with him and hear a charming voice in the background. yeonjun senses you're uneasiness, and has no problem explaining who it is and what's going on.

there's nothing to worry about, though. neither of you are going anywhere. long distance is a piece of cake to yeonjun now, and you know you'll hold each other soon.

all rights reserved | © spookybias. do not repost, translate, moderate, or copy any of my works.

[lemon-boy-stan]

LO$ERS -> 26. "INTERROGATION"

Beomgyu sighed frustratedly, pushing his hair back as Officer Park shuffled through her notes, lips pursed.

"So, take me through it again." Beomgyu groaned loudly, ruffling his hair, rolling the beads of the bracelet on his wrist and took a deep breath.

"We went to bed prety late because hyung suggested we watch a movie and play a few games. We did; we watched a horror movie and played a few rounds of Truth or Dare, Cards Against Humanity and one round of Monopoly." Beomgyu took a breath, sighing.

"After playing Monopoly, we all got pretty grumpy so we headed to our rooms. We didn't clean up because we were all pretty tired. Soobin and Yeonjun shared Yeonjun's bedroom because it was his house. They slept at around midnight because I could hear them laughing and talking.

Hueningkai and Taehyun slept in the guest room across theirs, and were playing video games until around one o'clock.

I was in the living room on because Y/N doesn't like me to use my laptop in the bedroom because it's too bright. When I got tired and went to bed, it was around three am. In the room, Y/N was still fast asleep in her bed. I woke up in the morning, and she was gone."

"Right," Officer Park scribbled something down, "you said that you didn't like the fact that you and Y/N were in the same room. Is there a reason for this?" Shit, Beomgyu thought to himself. This is how it starts.

Beomgyu sighed again, "no. I mean yeah, but. Not anymore. I mean, we had this really big falling-out when we were kids. It was like, ages ago. I guess she held a grudge, you know? | tried to forget it, but she'd always find something to pick at me.

Choosing Taehyun over me, ignoring my jokes, giving me annoyed looks over the table... and I just couldn't take it any more. I mean, we were still friends, but I kind of picked on her, too. Sure, I'd do anything for her. Man, this one guy, he was a dick. The way he cried... and anyway, I pranked her a lot. Some of it was mean, some of it wasn't, but we hated each other eventually. She can't stand being in the same room as me any more. I couldn't either. She just made me so angry..."

"Angry enough for you to kill her?" Officer Park's words made Beomgyu want to puke. He frowned, "What? No. That was last time, before she went missing. Now... god, I'm so in love with her. I just," he sighed and put his head in his hands.

"I just really want to find her. This bracelet," he held up his wrist, "she made one for all of us. We - we call ourselves the Losers' Club. I know the other guys still have theirs. She didn't have to make me one, because I was pretty much a dick to her, but I always wear it. The last thing I said. The last conversation we had was an argument. God, if anything happens to her..." The officer sighed, checking her notes.

"Okay. I think that's it. You're good to go. For now, at least. Do you need us to get you a cab, or..." Beomgyu shook his head, "no, I'm going to ride back to hyung's house. There's - I just have to do something." Officer Park nodded, "stay out of trouble, kid." Beomgyu smiled and nodded, "I will." then he turned around and sighed. If only she knew the half of it.

summary: derry, maine, 1989. there have been a collection of missing persons cases, but that doesn't stop the losers club from having fun. y/n and her friends are determined to have a good time, and nothing is going to get in their way. genre: fluff, crack, it 2017 au. pairing: choi beomgyu x reader

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tags: @fictional-character-whore; @fourthirtyone-am; @sweetrainwrites; @pinkheadflowers; @wonclusion; @wh4txium1n; @yolk-ashi; @kac-chowsballs; @chillfilms; @epiphany-beom; @erosoobin; @soobin-chois; @the7thcrow; @solarswonderland; @yeonwon; @biuebinnie; @strawbrinkofdeath; @jenowithjaem; @wonyofanclub

[bioshoook]

Bamboo mahonia jasmine aloe vera papyrus :)

(thank you for the questions!! i'm just gonna add the ones that you sent in a second time ;3)

Bamboo: Do you change into a different outfit when you get home? Oh absolutely. As soon as I get home the work clothes come off and usually look tank top and gym short/pajama shorts come on.

Abelia: Do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or can’t part with? I have a necklace that I wear everyday I leave my house that has some little charms on it from different things in my life. Like I have a ring from my mom and a Hobbit acorn pendant on there and I could never part with that necklace. It's always gotta be on me if I'm leaving the house longer than 30 minutes.

Mahonia: What place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does? I find inspiration in all kinds of things especially in like nature, but I would say it would have to be an activity that I find the most inspiring and it's usually video games or listening to music. If those two things can inspire me in the slightest I'll probably make a video edit for them or end up writing something in the universe of the game or music if it fits.

Camellia: What were you like when you were younger? Do you think you’ve changed a lot? I've definitely changed a lot from when I was younger. When I was younger I was a lot more carefree and hyper back then, like I still had my anxiety but we didn't know that's what it was yet. I would also be more focused on what people thought about me and being by myself at lunch time where as now that I'm older I could give less of a shit what they think of me and I actually prefer to eat lunch by myself now haha. I do wish I still had my energy from back then though. Wish I had taken more naps.

Jasmine: Do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again? Bookwise I don't think there's anything I wouldn't be unwilling to reread again and I think the one movie I probably couldn't rewatch even though I really loved it and it was an excellent work on cinema would have to be Come and See. That movie is just a lot emotionally and I don't think I'd be willing to watch it again.

Chamomile: What kind of things do you like receiving as gifts? I honestly like receiving anything that has some thought put into it and I usually lean towards things that can be useful and not just be set on a shelf to gather dust (minus books ofc). Like if you've obviously put effort and time into getting me something then I'm gonna love it and if you can't do that then make sure it's something I can use.

Aloe Vera: What’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life? Retirement jk jk but really I would just love to have a job at a library or a bookstore. Just a job focusing on books in some way. I've tried 2 times to get a library position and both times I've struck out so I'll just keep trying for that type of job till I can't no more.

Papyrus: If you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with? So I don't really have an 'on repeat' playlist but I do have a 'Top 25' on my ipod and the first song that came up on shuffle was Montero by Lil Nas X. With that song I just love the beat and rhythm it has to it and also the whole imagery with the music video is awesome, just a spit in the face of what's usually deemed "socially acceptable" and I'm so here for it.

[drariellevalentine]

Medically Inevitable

Chapter 8- Glamorous Girls’ Night

Warnings:- Very mild cursing, alcohol

Characters:- Arielle Valentine, Sienna Trinh, Ethan Ramsey, Naveen Banerji, Alyssa Raines, Kyra Santana, Ines Delarosa, Jackie Varma, Arabelle Raines

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine

Arielle’s PoV:-

You wake up to Sienna's calls which by the time you go to pick up ends. Yawning you rub your eyes and reach for your phone. You unlock it to find seven missed calls and innumerable texts from Sienna.

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“OMG Si! I’m sooo sorry!! I didn’t see your texts at all! Please forgive me!!🥺🥺🥺”, you text back.

"..Fine. Only cause you're my bestie. Now I'm calling you, you're going to answer and tell me word for word of what happened yesterday night as punishment!" She texts you back almost immediately.

"Deal! Just give me a few minutes.", you reply. Getting up from the bed you reach for your bag to take out the things that you need. After brushing your teeth and then combing your hair you unlock your phone again. Going through the contact list you stop at Sienna's number and video call her. "Hi!" Sienna greets you excited.

"Hi," you say.

"You've got a lot to say Ari. But before that, everything is okay, right?" Her concerned voice asks.

"Yes, everything is fine," you smile at her concern.

"Good! Now I need all the details about the "work" you were doing that kept you so busy that you couldn't even reply to my texts or pick my call." You roll your eyes even though she can't see.

"The "work" I was doing was finding out what's wrong with my godfather. And I couldn't reply because I was sleeping."

"Ooh! "

"What "ooh!"?"

"Sleeping with your... " She doesn't finish the sentence but you don't need her to, you already know what she's saying.

"God Si! He's my boss!" She snickers.

"And I’m in his guest room, he's in his room!"

"I know Ari. I was just teasing you. You don't need to explain things to me."

"I know."

"But I need all the details though. What you talked about, even Dr. Banerji's symptoms and what diagnosis you guys made. Everything!" "Fine!" I start filling her with Naveen's condition and the diseases we ruled out.

"That's all?" She asks after I am done.

"Yeah...Why?"

"Medicine can't be the only thing you talked about..."

"Si," I try to warn her to stop teasing me.

"C'mon! There must be something!"

"Umm... his dog? He's so freaking cute! I almost tripped while watching him," you start saying. Well, correction, I tripped while watching him," you laugh.

"You tripped? And you are telling that to me now! Are you hurt?" Sienna switches to mother hen mode.

"Calm down Si! I sprained my ankle slightly but that's it."

"How badly did you injure yourself?

“I think I injured myself quite bad? I couldn't even walk properly, don’t worry it’s fine now! Dr. Ramsey had to carry me inside-" you abruptly stop realizing what you just said. You see Sienna's smirk growing wider.

"He did what?!" She asked surprised.

"Nothing."

"Arielle!"

"Sienna!"

"Ari!"

“Fine! He was just helping me okay?”

"Sureeee!" She says in a teasing voice, " I mean obviously bosses invite their interns to their home and then carries them inside like their bride!”

"Sienna!" I exclaim in a shocked voice and she laughs. You both talk for a little while and then wave goodbye. After ending your phone call with Si, you head out to the empty living room. “Hmm...he must be sleeping. Thank god, or else he would have heard everything!” You open the fridge and spot a bottle of almond milk. You pour yourself a glass and just try to relax, but can’t. Yesterday’s events keep running through your mind until you can’t take it anymore. You wash your glass and keep it aside when you spot a yoga mat tucked away in the corner. You go to your room and get dressed in the simple grey and black outfit, pulling your hair into a high ponytail. Wearing your AirPods, you play a playlist of tunes and head out to stretch. You start with slowly stretching our your entire sore body, making sure not to put much weight on your ankle. Starting with a few simple positions, you slowly work your way up to the harder ones. Pulling out your phone, you quickly set a timer and flex yourself into another position, just as the flash goes off. You quickly post it on Instagram.

Ethan’s PoV:-

You wake up to the alarm you set for 6:45, brushing and flossing your teeth. You pull on a dark grey v-neck and head out with a half-asleep where you see Arielle in a very twisted, complex position. Not knowing why, you find yourself mesmerised by the fluid way she moves her body from one position to the next. She arches her back and kicks her leg up, twisting her head to the side when she sees you leaning near the doorframe. Letting out a small yelp of surprise, she quickly brushes herself off, taking off her earphones and heads towards you. “Good morning! I didn’t see you there.” You can’t but help trail your eyes over her body, skin-tight leggings and all. She doesn’t seem to notice as she focuses her attention on Jenner.

“Hey, boy! Looks like somebody’s sleepy!” She looks up at you. “I hope you don’t mind, I grabbed a glass of almond milk from the fridge. You were sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you.”, she says as she scoops him into her arms.

“That’s quite alright. You do know I have a treadmill here right? You can use it if you want, there’s also some other equipment here.” You lead her to an open but tucked away place where you’ve set up all your equipment.

“Join me.”, she says.

“I will.” You head to your room and pull on an outfit and find her using your old treadmill, talking to Jenner at the same time. You’ve never seen Jenner get along with someone this quickly.

“I don’t know why you bought a new one. This is perfectly fine.”, she says as she notices you enter.

“For your height, yes. The handlebars are quite short.”

“Hey! I can’t help it that I’m short! Plus, you’re 6’4”! That’s as tall as a basketball player!”, she says ridiculously. You laugh as you start running on the new treadmill beside her. In 30 minutes, both of you have worked up a good sweat and appetite.

“Okay, I’m done! I’m going to take a shower and then we’ll make something for breakfast.” She heads off to her room as you finish off yours and jump in the shower. After getting dressed and drying your hair until it’s damp, you head into the kitchen to find her climbing on top of the kitchen counter. She’s dressed in a very short hoodie and jeans...or leggings, you’re not quite sure.

“What are you doing?!”

She turns around as she shouts, “Don’t sneak up on a girl like that! I’m trying to grab that pan. Why do you keep everything up so high?!” Laughing, you grab the pan from the shelf with ease and hand to her as she gets down.

“You do know how to cook, right?” She gives you an incredulous look.

“I’m making banana French Toast. Is that okay? I mean you have all the ingredients.” Thank god she isn’t making pancakes.

“Okay, So what’s your recipe?” She gestures to a spread of ingredients. “I need two bowls, a fork and a electric whisk.” You pull out everything from the cabinets and hand it to her. “Okay, first we’ll start with the eggs.” She cracks a few into the bowl and whisks them vigorously until they turn pale yellow and frothy. “Now the sugar and butter.” You hand her the softened butter and sugar. Without measuring, she adds them into the eggs.

“No measuring?”, you ask.

“Naveen.”, she nonchalantly responds as she beats the mixture. You recall the times of when he would cook, never using any type of measurement.

“That man despises measuring cups.”

“Tell me about it! Him and my cousin have debates about it every single time they meet. My cousin’s a professional chef. Now, hand me those ripe bananas.” Handing them over, she quickly peels and mashes them together, adding a lot of vanilla extract. You raise an eyebrow.

“It tastes much better! Now the milk, just enough to thin out the batter.” You hand her the carton of milk. She incorporates it into the batter. Then picking up the bowl of eggs, butter and sugar, she carefully folds it into the banana.

“Okay, done! Now, hand me that pan.” She turns on the stove and adds just a touch of butter to the pan. “If you add too much butter, the bread will become too soft.” She takes a slice of bread and submerges it into the batter. Holding it for a few seconds, she places it onto the pan. Making about 5 pieces while you put away all the ingredients and brew coffee, she places two in one and three in another.

“Do you have chocolate or maple syrup?” You hand her both of them. She pours a little to yours while adding a lot to hers, bringing both the plates to the dining table, along with the coffee you brewed. Jenner starts sniffing the plates.

“No, no, no. Those aren’t for you, they have chocolate. Let’s go get you some food. Where you you keep the dog food?” You pull out Jenner’s food and set a bowl of food and water for him, then go sit down with Arielle.

She pushes the plate with 3 slices towards you. “Try it! It’s one of my special recipes.” You take a bite and you try not to show any emotion. Lord, that is good! “So...how is it?”

“It’s adequate.” She laughs as she takes a bite. Both of you start eating when suddenly her phone rings, Jenner starts barking.

She bends down, “It’s okay, boy. It’s just this.” She shows him her lit up phone. “Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

Arielle’s PoV:-

You open your phone and see it’s Elijah. “Hey Elijah!”

“Where the hell were you, Ari! We were worried!”

“I’m so sorry! I’m at.. my friend’s house right now. I told Si though.”

“Yeah, I know. She tried calling you but you didn’t answer yesterday. Anyways, apparently you left your shift early yesterday? What happened?”

“Oh that. I wasn’t feeling well and Ines sent me home, I’m fine though now. I ended up twisting my ankle so I couldn’t drive home last night. I’ll be at the apartment in an hour.”

“K, see you.” You hang up and turn to Ethan where you find him finishing his plate. “Sorry about that. My roommates were wondering where I was. Sienna covered for me so I’m fine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you left your shift early?” You wince, completely forgetting what you told him.

“I didn’t exactly want to explain, plus I’m fine now.” He nods.

“How did you all get an apartment together, did you know each other before?” You recount the story of what happened as you finish off breakfast. After helping him with the dishes, you go to your room and pack all your stuff and head towards the door as Ethan follows.

“I had a nice time, although I wish we had met by Naveen introducing us. Probably would have saved me that first dressing down.” You notice a flash of regret in his eyes. “But I still don’t mind how we met.” You wave as you head down to your car, driving towards your apartment. You find Elijah, Sienna and Landry on the sofa, watching a movie. “Hey guys!” They turn to look at you.

“Where were you?”, Landry asks. You’re careful not to give away anything.

“My friend was visiting from Chicago, I went to see him.” You drop your stuff and sit near Sienna, as you watch the movie.

“So...what happened this morning?”, she smirks.

“Nothing! Now shut up!”, you say playfully, but quietly.

A few hours later, you, Sienna and Jackie are lounging on the sofa after lunch. “Guys, I’m bored and burnt out from studying. Let’s do something.”, Jackie says.

“But what? Elijah and Landry have gone to another baseball game for a guys’ night with some of the surgical interns.”, Si says. An idea strikes you.

“Guys, what if we have a girls’ night?! We could have a spa day! What do you say?!”

“That’s a great idea! But who do we invite?”, Si asks. You think.

“Let’s invite Kyra and Ines. I’ll go see if Phoebe’s in. And... I think Alyssa’s in town.”, you say.

“Who’s Alyssa?”, Jackie asks.

“My sister-in-law.”, you reply.

“OMG! Do you mean Alyssa Raines? The fashion icon of all time!?”, Si bursts. You nod.

“Yep! And I think she might bring Arabelle along too.”

Sienna shrieks, “This is going to be so much fun! Right Jackie?!” She rolls her eyes.

“Okay, So I have a bunch of products for whipping up masks and scrubs, so I’ll get them out and start organising after calling Alyssa. You two see if Kyra, Ines and Phoebe are up for it. It’s 3 right now so...tell them to come over at 5.” Both of them step outside the apartment to call Phoebe.

You go into your room and call Aly.

“Aunt Arielle! Hiiiii!”, she shouts. You can hear Aly shouting in the background to give the phone to her.

“Hi Belle. Can you do Zia a favour and give the phone to mommy please?”

“Okay!........Hey Ari!”

“Hey Aly, I was just wondering if you were in town. The girls and I were planning to do a spa day. Do you want to join?”

“I don’t know...I need someone to watch Belle”-

You cut her off. “You can bring Belle along. So, it starts at 5. Can you make it?”

“Umm...let me check.” You hear her talking to one of her assistants. “Yeah, I’ll be there. Do you want me to bring anything?”

You think. “Well...it would be nice if we all had matching robes. I’ll send you the address.”

“I should have something in the warehouse. I’ll see you at 5. Bye!” You hang up and turn around to find Si and Jackie entering.

“So, Phoebe is out of town but Kyra and Ines are coming.”, they say.

“Great! Aly’s coming with Belle and I asked her to bring us all matching robes. So that’s...6 ladies and Belle.” You quickly shoot Aly a text and turn to them.

“Okay, so we’ll need to set up an area, arrange everything and probably make some refreshments.”

“Ooh! I saw these really cute pizza bites on Insta yesterday! I’ll make those and lemonade...and then get out some snacks and make something sweet.”

“Si, that’s a lot. You sure you don’t need help?”

“Nope! I’ve got it!” She heads towards the kitchen, a bounce in her step.

“Okay, So we’ll set up in my room.” You start clearing up space in your huge room, layering blankets and pillows.

“Okay, so I’ll get out some towels, mirrors & bowls and you arrange them, Jackie.”

“She arranges them as she asks you, “You’ve done this before, you’re quite good.”

“I host most of the holidays and celebrations at home.” You open one of your cabinets, revealing boxes and shelfs full of beauty products.

“My god, Arielle! How much do you even have? No wonder your skin is so clear.”

You laugh. “There all my godfather’s secrets. His Indian heritage held so much information about natural skincare, and I’ve been interested since a very young age.” You pull everything out and arrange it on your bed.

“I mean I’m Indian too, but I don’t do any of this, but maybe I should. Wouldn’t hurt to have a little bit of natural beauty.”

“...that’s everything! Let’s go help Sienna.” You both head to the kitchen, a mouthwatering smell wafting from it. After an hour full of prepping, the doorbell rings. You open it and a tiny but strong force collides with your legs. You look up to see Aly standing there, behind her Ines and Kyra.

“Aunt Arielle! Hi!!!”, she adorably says making everything laugh. You scoop her up into your arms and give her a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey Aly!” She gives you a hug.

“Long time no see, Dr. Valentine.” You smile as you lead them inside. “Nice place.”, Aly says.

“Hey, Doc. You never told me you were famous, I mean the Alyssa Raines is your sister-in-law!” You all laugh.

“Well maybe I could have if you had stopped teasing me.”, you counter.

“Hey Arielle, are you feeling better now?”, Ines asks.

“I told you already that day itself, I’m fine. But thank you for asking!” You introduce everyone to everyone and lead them inside.

“Here Ari. I brought the robes you asked for.” Aly hands everyone the robes and everyone gets dressed.

You notice Jackie tense up when Belle walks near her. “She’s really sweet, Jackie. Just talk to her.”

“Hi! What’s your name?”, Belle asks.

“Jackie.”

“Ooh! That’s a really cool name.” You see Jackie’s eyes flash with surprise as she starts to warm up to her.

“So, why didn’t you get dressed like everyone else?”, Belle asks.

“Because I don’t like to wear them.”

“Aw! Why not! You would look really pretty! But you would look pretty in anything, like my mom and aunt.”, Belle responds. You see Jackie laugh as she leaves to go get changed. Soon everyone is changed and sitting on the makeshift area.

“Okay! Let’s get started! First, get into pairs.”, you say. Kyra picks you, as Aly and Jackie pair up. Sienna and Ines also pair up.

“I’ll help everyone with whatwever they need! Mommy has one, I forgot what they’re called.”, Belle says as you all laugh.

“They’re called an assistant, Belle.”

“As-ashis-...I’ll just help!”, Belle says as you all burst into laughter, again.

“She’s adorable Alyssa! How old is she?”, Ines asks.

“She turned 5 a few months ago. Although sometimes she can act like she’s much older, sometimes.”, Aly replies.

“Okay! We’ll start with hair, taking turns and later rinsing it off in the tub. Okay, so what kind of mask do you all want?”, you ask. After a short discussion, they each decide on a hair mask. You grab the bottle of your coconut hair mask for hydration for you & Kyra, a hibiscus one for hair fall for Si and Ines, and an almond and vitamin E for shine for Jackie and Aly. Everyone settles down and starts.

“You sure know a lot about this stuff.”, Kyra says as you massage the mask into her hair, placing a towel on her neck.

“It’s an interest of mine.”

“Well, if the doctor thing doesn’t work out, you can always turn into a spa worker. Although I’d have to find you a new nickname.”, she says.

“What nickname?”, you turn to see Jackie, Aly massaging her scalp.

“The female version of McDreamy!”, Kyra says. They all burst into giggles.

“Let’s play some music!”, Belle says.

“Great idea, Belle! Can you play some songs from my phone?” She unlocks your phone and plays the playlist you tell her to.

“Ines, there’s a speaker right beside you. Can you turn it on?” She turns it on and music starts blasting. Everyone starts singing but you keep quiet.

“Aunt Arielle, why aren’t you singing?”, Belle asks.

“That’s cause if she sings, we’ll all sounds like giraffes. No offence.”, Jackie says.

“Really, I’ve never heard you sing. If you can sing that well, then I’m making you sing one of Ariana’s songs.” She changes the song to “One Last Time” by Ariana Grande.

You start belting out the first few lines, as others start to join in. By the time you’re finished with the song, your voice is winded.”

“Damn girl, you’ve got pipes!”, Kyra says.

“Why, thank you.”, you say. All of you sing together as you finish up each other’s masks. “Is everyone done?” They all nod.

“Okay, now Jackie and Sienna, go to your bathtubs and fill them up with cold water. Then wash them with the shampoo and conditioner I’m giving you. Whoever did their mask first, wash your hair first.” You hand out all the respective soaps and towels to everyone, then lead Kyra to yours.

You plug the bathtub then turn on the water.

“Okay, So lean your head back after sitting on the stool.” She does as you say.

“So, I guess you’ve been doing this for a long time. I mean like taking care of your hair and skin.”

You nod. “I have. It’s something that my godfather taught me. My hair was always really long and thick, and I always loved taking care of it. Especially when I hit that teenage age, the tips he gave me are still so useful.”

“Oh! I remember when I hit mine, it was horrible. Braces, acne...”, she shudders.

You laugh, “Well look at you now. All done!”, you ring out her hair carefully and wrap it in a towel.

“Okay, now you sit down.” You sit down and flip your hair. She starts massaging and pouring water, cleansing your hair.

“Mmm...That feels good.”

“Your hair is so long! How do you even maintain it! I tried but my hair ended up looking like a bush by the time it got longer than my shoulders!”

“I’ve trained and took care of it from a very young age. My mother died when I was a baby, and my father always said that I always had my mother’s hair. I don’t know, it just feels right...like I’m making her proud when I do something for my hair or skin. I know that sounds silly.”

“It isn’t, it’s quite sweet. But it’s hard not having a mother.”

“It is. But luckily I was fortunate enough to have other amazing people in my life.” She wraps your head in a towel and you both head out to your room where you find the rest of the girls.

“All done?”, Si asks.

“Yep! Now it’s time for facials!” All of you spend hours pampering yourself, occasionally snacking and having a few flutes of champagne, giving Belle lemonade. By the time you’re all done with your facials, hair, nails... it’s around 8.

“Wait! I want to take a picture! Everyone pose!!” Everyone poses on your bed as Belle clicks a photo. You post it.

“I had so much fun! We should do this again sometime.”, Ines says. “Definitely! Next time, you’re all invited to my house.”, Aly says as Bella yawns. “Looks like someone’s sleepy.”

“Well I’m not! Does anyone have any plans for tonight?”, Jackie asks. Everyone shakes their head.

“Oh! What do you guys think of going out, to a club?!”, Kyra says. Everyone nods in agreement.

“I don’t know...I need someone to watch Belle..”, Aly says.

“I have the perfect person to watch Belle. Can you guys start cleaning this up?” You lead Aly outside.

“We’ll drop her later at Naveen’s.” You remember Ethan saying that he takes Naveen home to his apartment after his last shift.

“You two reconciled!? I’m so happy for you two! Finally, my favourite father-daughter duo is back together!” You laugh, careful not to spill anything about Naveen’s condition. “We did.” You enter your room. “Okay, that’s sorted out!”

“I didn’t bring anything to wear!”, Kyra exclaims.

“Neither did I!”, Ines agrees.

“Calm down! I’m right here and you people are worrying about club outfits! Hmm...what do guys say to a quick trip to one of Flair’s stores here? We’ll all pick out an outfit and I’ll get one of the stylists to do our makeup!”, Aly says as everyone cheers.

“Woo! Girls’ night, Girls’ night, Girls’ night!”, Sienna chants as everyone joins in.

“Okay! Let’s go!” After taking a cab to one of Flair’s branches, you all enter the huge ritzy store, Aly staying behind for a phone call.

“Arielle, what a pleasant surprise! Are you hear to model the new autumn lingerie collection?”, Sophie, Aly’s assistant and one of your friends.

“Not today, but I might come in later when I have time. So, my friends and I are hitting the town and we need the sexiest outfits! Aly’ll be here in a sec.”

“Awesome! I’ll go get everyone a stylist and you know about Flair’s collections so you tell the stylists for what line to look in.” She calls a bunch of stylists. You direct one for each person, “Okay, for Sienna, Ines and Kyra, the Sweet but Sexy line. Then for Jackie, Leather & Lace. For me...surprise me, Sophie. You know my style better than me.” Everyone heads off in different directions as Aly comes in with Belle.

“Let me guess, Ari wants you to pick her outfit?” All three of you laugh. “Okay, I’ll go find something. Belle, will you help me?”

“Ooh! Yeah, mommy! Aunt Arielle, wait for me, I want to pick your outfit too!” She skips off, Aly following her. “Okay, I might have just the thing for you.” Sophie leads me to a dressing room and tells me to wait there. You’re scrolling through your messages when your phone chimes with a new one from Naveen.

Sophie knocks and hands the dresses to you. You put them aside and reply. After texting, you quickly eye the dresses and try them on. After much deliberation, you pick two same dresses of different colours. “Ughh! I can’t decide!” Suddenly the door whips open, revealing Belle.

“I helped mommy pick out an outfit! Do you want any help?!”

You hold up the velvet dresses, one in baby pink and the other in wine red. “Which one is better, Amorina?”

“Uh...I like the red one cause you can wear matching red lipstick with it! You look really pwetty with red lipstick!”, she replies.

“Then, red it is! Can you wait outside for a minute?” She goes outside and you slip on the dress and half-coverage bra that Sophie gave you. Stepping outside, you ask her what she thinks.

“You look preeeeety!” You giggle.

“I’ll go do my makeup and then I’ll go drop you off. Guess who’s babysitting you?”, you ask. She shrugs.

“Grandpa Naveen is.” She cheers. “Now, do you want to help me in choosing some accessories?” She nods and runs off. “She has sooo much energy. I wish I had the energy of a 5 year old. My shifts would be much easier!”, you think as so run after her. You find Si and Ines standing there. “Hey!”

“You look beautiful!”, Ines exclaims. Si agrees.

“Thank you!” Just then Belle runs with something in her hand and hands it to you. It’s a gold, multi-layer body chain. “You really are your mother’s daughter! It’s beautiful!”

“Yay! Try it on, try it on!”, she exclaims. Si steps forward and helps you with the chain, securing it in place. You look in the mirror, it looks amazing.

“Ari, give me your phone!”, Si says.

“Why?”

“Cause you look really sexy right now and I’m not letting this photo op go to waste!” You laugh and give her your phone. She leads you to a plush white tufted bench and instructs you how to pose. “Okay, stay still and....Done!” She shows you the pic. “What do you think?”

“You took an amazing photo! I’ll post it.” You quickly post the sexy photo of yourself.

Just then Jackie and Aly saunter in, both wearing Leather & Lace. “I knew you two would get along!”, you say.

“Okay, Arielle. We’ll do your hair and makeup first so you can drop Belle off. By the time you come back, everyone will be ready.” They all usher into a chair as Si starts with your hair and Aly with makeup. They show you the mirror.

“Wow...I look...beautiful!”, you say surprised. Your hair has been let down in thick curls, parted to the side and sprayed with sparkly hairspray. Your makeup is simple but elegant, until the bright red lip.

“You’ve always been pretty.”, Aly says.

“Okay, I’ll go drop Belle off!”

“Wait! What about your shoes, earrings and jacket?...”, Si exclaims. She runs off, returning with matching gold tipped red velvet stilettos, gold hoop earrings and a bunch of rings and necklaces. Expertly placing them,she shoos you away.

“I’ll get a jacket later, come on Belle!” She runs up and holds your hand as you walk to the car. You place her in the backseat, fastening her seatbelt and you slip in the driver’s seat. “Can we leave, Belle?”

“Yeah! But I want music! Can you play something from Frozen, please?!” You nod, playing a Frozen playlist from your phone and connect to the car. Both of you sing the whole 15 minutes of driving. Pulling up, you lead her to the top floor. “Which door?”

“1204.” She runs up and knocks on the door, Frozen style. It takes you a while to catch up, because of those heels.

“...Do you want to build a snowman?!”

Ethan’s PoV:-

Hearing knocking and singing, you open the door to find an adorable 5 year old with a huge smile on her face. “You must be Belle. Who brought you here?”

“Aunt Arielle did! Where’s grandpa?!”, she asks.

“I’m right here! Come here and give me a hug!”, Naveen says. You smile as the girl runs into your mentor’s arms.

“Hey...sorry if this was last minute. I do know a lot of other babysitters but Naveen hasn’t seen her in a while.” You look up to see Arielle, wearing a wine red short dress, her hair let down in spiraling curls and her perfect lips painted red, leaving you trying to tear your eyes away.

“It’s fine. Come in, Naveen would want to see you.” She removes her heels and steps in.

“Sunshine, what a lovely surprise! You look beautiful!”

“Thank you. Belle picked out this dress.” She turns to Belle. “Now, be a good girl for Grandpa and Ethan, okay?”

“Mhm. I will! Byeee!” She kisses her on the cheek and turns to Naveen.

“Have fun, and please don’t exert yourself too much.” She gives him a hug and turns to you, slipping her heels on. “Thank you so much for looking after her. She doesn’t have any allergies or restrictions so there shouldn’t be any problem. She also loves dogs!”....She hesitates. “I’ll see you later.”, she heads to her car and drives away.

“Hi!! What’s your name?”

“My name is Ethan Ramsey.”

“Ohh! Aunt Arielle says your name a lot! She says that you’re very smart! Are you her boyfriend?!” You almost choke at that last bit.

“That wouldn’t be appropriate.”, you respond.

“Why not?!”, Belle asks.

“Because, I’m your aunt’s boss.”

“Ohhh! So you’re Aunt Arielle’s husband! She never told me though!” Your face is now beet red.

“Now what makes you think that, Belle?”, Naveen asks. You glare at him but he cuts you off.

“Well mommy says daddy’s name a lot. She also says that he’s very very smart. When they both first met, daddy was mommy’s boss. And now he’s mommy’s husband so that’s why I asked.”, she innocently says. “But I still don’t think they’re married!”, she says.

“Well Belle, what makes you think they’re not married?”, he asks.

“Naveen!” He gestures you to be quiet.

“Well, Aunt Arielle doesn’t have a ring like mommy and she doesn’t live with Uncle Ethan either. Also, Aunt Arielle would never have her wedding without me! She says I’m her favourite person in the world.”

“I think you’ve met your match, Ethan! Look how smart she is!”, Naveen says with a huge grin on his face.

You roll your eyes. “Are you hungry?”

“Nope! Let’s play! Will you play with me please!?” She gives you the same eyes Arielle gives you when she’s asking for something.

“Alright, do you like dogs?” Her face lights up, you can’t but help thinking about a certain intern. “Damnit Ramsey! Snap out of it!”

“You have a dog?!!! Can I see!?”, she shrieks. You lead her to your bedroom, where Jenner is lazily napping.

“Hey boy! Look who’s here. You have a new friend!” He perks up and goes near Belle, they suddenly run out of the room chasing each other and in the process, knocking down one of your lamps.

Naveen laughs. “Looks like you’ve got your hands full! Let’s see if one of the world’s best diagnosticians can handle a 5 year old for a night!”

You sigh, knowing this is going to be a long night.

[spidernerdsblog]

I forgot that you existed : Chapter one

A/N: okay chapter one is here going a little slow with the storyline wanted to add a little bit of details to the lives of the characters. I can guarantee in next chapter our hero will be in full form and not just in flashbacks. Hope you like it. Feedbacks and suggestions are always welcome.

Pairing : Tom Holland × Singer reader

 Summary: It's been more than five years since you and Tom have gone their own ways after a heartbreaking breakup which had left both of you shattered. Both of you thought that you were finally over with each other and were happy in your respective lives until you meet again at a reunion trip planned by your best friend and you realise you are still not done with each other.

 Warnings: none, flashbacks.

 Mini playlist: love story, ME! By Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you

I close my eyes, and the flashback starts

I'm standing there

On a balcony in summer air

 Sounds of giggles and laughter " No! she is my best friend" Harrison exclaimed pulling you by grabbing your left hand towards him "No she is my best friend!" Tom said, pulling your right hand. You couldn't stop giggling as you were stuck between a tug of war between your two best friends who stated that you can only be best friend to any one of them not both. You were only 5 years old then Tom & Harrison both 3 years older than you but you loved hanging out with them.

Your parents shifted from LA to London for their work and coincidentally your house was in the same neighborhood as were of the boys. You all became friends through your mothers when they used to take you to the park when you were toddlers. You were the only girl of the whole boys gang consisting of Tom, Harrison, Harry and Sam and they were very protective about you. You used to boss them around.

 As Haz and Tom were quarrelling over whose best friend you were in the backyard of the Holland's house. Tom out of nowhere declared "if it's that so Y/N is my girlfriend" and gave a gentle peck on your lips, you stood there in shock and soon you started blushing as you covered your face with your hands and ran inside to your mother who was chatting with Nikki.

 You went up to your mom and asked innocently "Mom, Tom said that I'm his girlfriend and gave me a kissy like you give me every night before bed. Is he no more my best friend ?" Both the mothers started laughing as Nikki spoke  “no peanut he will always be your best friend and if you love bugs stay like this forever maybe he can be your husband too."

 You scrunched your face and said "eww!! I will not marry him"

 “why is that so? " your mother asked laughing

 "he always steals my chocolates" you said innocently “no I don't!! Tom said from behind as he entered the house with Haz, “yes you did yesterday only you took it from my bag at school” both of you now started arguing. Nikki and your mom burst into laughter after hearing it. That was the beginning of your love story.

 Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone

I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story baby just say "Yes"

 .........................................................

You loved to listen to songs as it helps to release your stress and this song of yours was very dear to you as it reminded you of some sweet memories. You were scrolling through the photographs that you had taken back when you were living in London together with the boys as you thought about that whole incident, your actual first kiss, you smiled and shook your head at the realization that you both had disappointed your mothers.

 You finally dialled Harrison's number he picked up instantly

 "Hey Y/N!"

 "Hello.. this is 911 what is your emergency?" You chuckled

 "You will never change will ya?"

 "That was the plan actually to never change"

 "Talking to you after a long time man missed your voice so much"

 "Me too Haz.. So how's everything going there?"

 "Yeah everything is fine here just wrapped up my new film."

 "Great!! How are the boys, Nikki and Dom?"

 "They are all fine. Harry is busy with his new film's plot, Sam as usual experimenting with new dishes."

 "An.. and how's he?" You hesitatedly asked

 "He's good too wrapped up Avengers 5 will be returning home tomorrow.

By the way congratulations for the success of your new album to be honest it's a badass album the lyrics are dope."

 You giggled.. "Thanks Haz"

 "So now are you free or still have any upcoming projects?"

 "I can never be free Haz I m always working, always thinking of lyrics for my next song. Leave all that, what was the emergency that you said to call so urgently?"

 "Ummm.. Y/N I want something from you."

"Anything for you Haz"

 "You have to promise me first Y/N that whatever I say you have to say yes"

 "When have I ever said you no anyways just tell me"

 "No! Y/N first promise me"

 "Uggh Okay Haz I promise now spit it out. Sometimes you really act childish." you rolled your eyes.

"I want you to come back home I mean back here at London I have planned a 10 days trip to Cornwall at my beach house which we all used to go every summer when we were kids it's a sort of reunion for the whole gang I have invited Z and Jacob too"

 "Haz you know I only go on Christmas every year to spend time with you guys because that is when I m free. And I'm pretty busy this month. I have a recording to be done next week for my upcoming single."

 "Y/N you promised you will not refuse me. I just want a little time from your busy life.”

 "But Haz…"

 "And also I'm gonna celebrate my 30th birthday there, your man is getting old love."

 "Umm... I don't know what to say Haz I'm confused"

 "If you're thinking about him I can assure you there will be no problem besides he is not single anymore so why worry?"

 That is the problem Haz you said in your mind.

 "Umm okay I'll give it a thought and let you know after confirming the availability of dates." You ended the call and fell back on your bed, your hands and legs spreading across the bed  like a starfish. You face palmed and groaned.

 You went into a deep thought, your brain still processing the whole conversation you had with Harrison. After a few minutes you heard your phone buzzing and you smiled as you looked to see who was calling. It was Zendaya, face timing you. You had seriously wished to talk to someone right now. You have very few close friends in the industry and Zendaya was one of them. You collaborated with her for your bad blood music video and you guys clicked instantly from that day you became really close. She was your 3am BFF and you both knew each other's darkest secrets. You picked up the call.

 "So Haz called you up didn't he?"

 "Bingo!! So what are you thinking?" Zendaya laughed

 "I don't know Z. I just feel scared. I know I have met him a couple of times during my Christmas visits after everything happened  but that was just a one day thing and this whole 10 day trip is freaking me out. I also don't want to disappoint Haz. I missed all of his birthdays for the past few years on purpose just to avoid Tom."

 " You are just over thinking babe everything will be fine and I will be there to cheer up your emotional ass. Besides as much as I know Tom is very chilled out he will not bother you."

 " I don't think so. He has a very cold attitude towards me even now whenever I go back home. "

 After you moved to NY you almost begged your parents to move here and stay with you but they were adamant of staying in London so once in a year you used to visit your family and friends during Christmas. The Christmas Dinner was always hosted by the Holland's after your break up you always panicked to go to their house. The first year when you went. The boys, Nikki, Dom welcomed you as if nothing had happened; they hugged you with joy. But when you went to give Tom a hug he just backed off and out of formality gave you a shoulder hug and you got your hint to stay away. He even brought his new girlfriend for the dinner which you thought he did on purpose to make you jealous or hurt you. And you were actually hurt at the thought that he really moved on so quickly. So you avoided family gatherings to prevent such awkward situations.

  "Babe your life doesn’t revolve around Tom he was a part of your life which is over. Start living your life. And we are in our early 30’s and still single don’t wanna die like that do you ??. Even if you want you can have your sweet little revenge by showing off that hot body on the beach and show that asshole what he missed." Z smirked.

 You quirked your eyebrows “So you're telling me to be a bitchy ex who doesn’t want to see her ex boyfriend happy”

 " Nooo!!! I didn’t mean that just show him how happy you are, that you are one of a kind, he will never find anyone like you in his life. We are gonna have a blast honey and you are coming so start packing."

 You had to finally give in with a deep sigh you said .."okay Z I ll go but if I jump off the cliff after all the mental stress I'm going to get in those 10 days you and Haz will be responsible for it." you laughed.

"Oh we won't want that. Besides you have handled more stressful moments than this you will be fine dramaqueen." Zendaya said.

 You talked to Alex about the whole trip to sort out the dates. He was a little sceptical at first about the whole reunion with ex trip , but he believed in you and gave you a nod for the trip. You informed the good news to Haz of your approval to the whole trip. Before you could leave for your unplanned vacation you had to finish recording and shooting for your new upcoming single featuring Breidon Urie.

 "I promise that you'll never find another like me

I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh

I know I never think before I jump

And you're the kind of guy the ladies want

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

I know that I went psycho on the phone

I never leave well enough alone

And trouble's gonna follow where I go

(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)

But one of these things is not like the others

Like a rainbow with all of the colors

Baby doll, when it comes to a lover

I promise that you'll never find another like

Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I'm the only one of me

Baby, that's the fun of me

Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You're the only one of you

Baby, that's the fun of you

And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e"..............

 The song was soon officially released by the music company and the audience loved it and your work was done for the moment and now you could focus on the trip. All of a sudden you were really feeling excited about the whole thing. You and Z were constantly texting each other to plan about the journey.

 The day arrived and you met Z at the airport. "So ready for the battle?" she chuckled. You rolled your eyes and laughed "going on a battle would have been much easier compared to this I guess" but in your mind you were confident. Yes you had finally decided that you're ready to face Tom Holland to show him that you have also moved on. And to show him that he'll never find another like you.

 The nine hour flight was uneventful as both you and Z slept most of the time which proved that you both were in dire need of a vacation away from your hectic glamorous lives.

 It was around 5 ‘o’ clock in the morning in London when your plane landed. Both of you collected your check in luggages. Check out was hassle free as it was early morning with few people around and nobody recognised you as both of you were in your hoodies. As you came out of the exit door you started to look amongst the crowd and finally you saw those familiar icy blue eyes approaching towards you.

 “Ah!! Finally the star arrived” Harrison hugged you tight

“And all credit goes to you Z because our star has stopped listening to her best friend may be got someone else to replace me” he hugged zendaya and started laughing

“getting rid of you has been one of the failures of my life" you pouted

 "Ouch!" Harrison dramatically placed his hands on his chest as if hurt.

 "No one can ever replace you from my life you idiot" you lightly punched his arm.

 Harrison chuckled and said with a fake French accent "I m your chauffeur for the day, madame your car awaits at the parking lot."

 After you three put all your luggages in the car. Z and you sat at the back seat and Harrison sat on the driver's seat as he started the car. It was an approximate four hour ride to his beach house.

 " You know Haz I really missed the summer in London so glad I said yes to your plan."

 "The only thing I liked about London when I came for Spiderman:FFH shoot is the Harry Potter museum" Zendaya declared

 You noticed Harrison looked a little off today so you asked "you look a little bit stressed out Haz what's the matter bud?"

 "How do you read my mind so easily?" Harrison sighed.

 "I'm your best friend dumbo now tell me what is the thing that is bothering you so much?" you said with concern in your voice.

 "Okay I need to say you something, just don't be mad Tom will be bringing his fiancee too at the beach house. But don't worry everything will be fine I promise."

 Your face went expression less as you looked at Harrison then to Zendaya. You were starting to panic from inside. You let out a sigh and rolled your eyes as you leaned on Zendaya's shoulder. She rubbed your shoulder to comfort you as you thought in your mind "what a great start to this cursed trip."

..................................................................................

Taglists:If you want to be added send in an ask i will be happy to add you.

@sophs-library

[maymeteorite]

dear jonghyun,

i love you.

beyond that, i don't know where to begin. i don't know what to say. i haven't even been a shawol for the entire year, and yet i can't believe it. it seems like such a long time. but i guess i'll start at the beginning.

maybe about five months ago, my ex started getting me to listen to kpop. i got into exo first, and for a little while they were the only group that i paid attention to.

eventually, i started hearing more and more about shinee. i knew my partner loved you guys too, so i started trying to get into you guys as well as exo. and at first, i couldn't. i knew about what had happened, i remembered it happening a year ago and being on the outside of it. so when i started into it aware, it hurt.

i would see a video of the five of you, and then a few videos down, it'd be down to four. i'd think about how the four of them had to now perform and sing without you. i'd think about how you'd never get to perform some of your songs live. so many things would make me sad, and i was scared. scared that if this tragedy already made me so sad, before i had barely even learned your name, it would be too much if i ever truly got attached to and fell in love with the group.

so i kind of stopped myself for a while. i was barely a shawol, but listening to all of you made my heart ache. i couldn't do it. i couldn't listen to shinee. i tried to start somewhere, i tried to listen to taemin on his own first. but that didn't work either.

and there was a part of me that knew you were going to be my bias. i can actually tell you the exact moment that made up my mind.

when i was making my kpop playlist, it was on spotify. spotify only has a live version of ring ding dong, so when i was adding it, i had to add that one. when i heard you sing the verse right before the second chorus, something clicked and i fell in love with your voice.

and that was a big reason that i was scared. because i knew that i was going to fall in love with you. and i was scared of how painful it would be. so i stopped myself from leaping headfirst into shinee because of that.

but there came a point where you knocked those walls down entirely. i found and watched the video of your performance of y si fuera ella. your voice, your face, the fake blood on your white suit, the gunshot, every second of it made my heart ache. i sat on my bed for a half hour afterwards and just cried. i'd been afraid to cry before. but thanks to you, i wasn't anymore, and i was finally able to listen to shinee regularly.

and i fell in love. words cannot describe how much you five mean to me. i stared at this screen for so long trying to think of something that could possibly express how much i love all of you. i'm still stuck. you five have given me so much. beautiful music, such openness and kindness, a wonderful friend ( @sunflowerjjong ), happiness, so many good things. and i can't think of anything that i could say that would ever repay you for that.

but, what i can say is thank you. thank you for what you've done for me. you've been a shining light in the darkness these past few months. and as long as i know that you're there, watching over me, i'm okay.

there have been so many hard times. and sometimes, i feel guilty. guilty that i rely on you so much when so many other shawols, as well as your family, friends, and the rest of shinee have it so much harder than i do. but i saw something you said one night. you said that you don't need to know a person face to face to have a relationship with them. and that made it so much easier. because i knew that if you said that, and if you knew how much i care about you, then you might care about me too.

but at the same time, i feel guilty for other reasons. so many shawols can't listen to you or shinee because it hurts too much. and my heart goes out to all of them. but sometimes, i feel guilty for the opposite reason. i can listen to you. i can listen to shinee. and maybe i thought that i wasn't grieving enough. but i know that everyone feels in different ways. you bring me comfort, and there's no reason to be ashamed of that. just like there's no reason to be ashamed of feeling like it's just too unbearable.

your words touch me in ways i never thought possible. sitting on my couch late at night, crying, reading the note that you left us, as broken as my heart felt, it felt whole, too. so much of what you wrote, i felt too. i understood. i still do feel a lot of those things. and knowing that you did too makes me feel so much less alone.

i wish i could have met you. i wish i could have hugged you. i wish i could have looked you in the eyes and told you how much i love you. and the fact that i can't makes me unbelievably sad. but i'll still make it known. i'll still say goodnight to the moon. i'll still tell the sky that i love you, in hopes that you can hear me.

you may be gone, but it feels like you're here with me. when that meteor flew across the sky on my birthday just seconds after i'd started crying, saying i missed you, i knew it was you. i felt it. as if you were telling me not to miss you, because you were right there with me, and you always have been, and you always will be.

and i promise, i will never remember you as simply just a sad story. you are so much more than your tragedy. you are so much more than your pain and sadness. you are a beautiful, glowing light in this dark world, one who has lit up so many lives and reached millions of hearts.

i want to make you happy, and i want to make you proud. i want you to know how much you inspire me. i want you to look down at me and smile, because you know how much you've impacted my life. but most of all, i want you to know how much i love you.

these past few months were dark. there were times when giving up crossed my mind. and that terrified me. because i never wanted to give up. i just thought that i had to. and you helped me realize that i didn't.

and you helped me in so many other ways, too. you still do. and you always will.

i listen to your voice after a long day. you sing with such care and beauty, and sometimes, if i close my eyes, it feels like you're singing right to me. like you're taking my hand, guiding me towards your light. like you're holding me in your arms, reassuring me that everything will be alright. sometimes, it feels like you're crying along with me. but it always feels like you're listening. and it always feels like you're there. and sometimes, just letting out a sigh with you at the very beginning of end of a day is enough to calm me down.

your lyrics help me immensely, too. i relate to so many, like how in elevator, you sing about looking at your reflection and not recognizing yourself. or how in end of a day, you sing about how all you want is for someone to hold you after a tiring day and tell you that you did well. or how in let me out you plead for someone to hold you, help you, because you're so tired and you don't know if you can go on. and looking back on all that now, you were calling for help. and i'm so sorry that you didn't get it when you needed it most.

but apart from that, all of those feelings are within me, too, in one way or another. and hearing your soft voice sing out those things that i feel too is so comforting.

i look up at the moon when i feel alone. it's always there in the sky when i'm at my lowest. even today, i was worrying that i wouldn't be able to see your comet. i went to look outside, and there was the moon, shining through the clouds. you always know when i need you. sometimes i'll talk to you for so long i lose track of time. and i never know for sure if you're listening. but i hope you are. and the possibility is enough for me. and i hope that, like you sing in before our spring, watching over me makes you happy. i hope that you see me and smile because you know how much i love you.

there are things you said, that i find, that are somehow exactly what i need to hear in the moment. maybe i'll see that you said for us to take care of ourselves. maybe i'll see that you said it's okay to feel lost in life. maybe i'll see that you said it's okay to cry. but every single time, whatever i find that you said is exactly what i didn't even know i was looking for. you know. you know when i need you, and you never let me go it alone.

all of these things and more give me the strength to push forward. you give me the strength to fight. because i know that you wouldn't want me to stop. and i know that you don't want me to join you. whenever i feel like i'm drowning, i know i can just reach for your hand.

there's something that i like to tell myself whenever things get hard.

"you did well, so i will too."

and i will, jonghyun. i promise i will.

i drew this moon for you. i wrote your lyric with it. i wanted to do something for you, even though nothing can ever repay you for how much you've done for me.

i love you so much, jonghyun. and i miss you every day. but as long as you're in my heart, and in turn by my side, i will never stop fighting. you make me feel a warmth and a hope that i never want to let go of.

your kindness, your strength, your love for those around you, your softness, your smile, your beautiful soul and your lovely voice will forever hold a special place in my heart. you live on through each and every one of us. and in turn, you help us live on as well.

you've taught me so much. you've taught me to always be kind. you've taught me that it's okay to cry, it's okay to feel. you've taught me to have hope, no matter what. you've taught me to pursue my dreams. but most of all, you've taught me how to be strong, how to fight with every ounce of strength left in me. because if i have you cheering me on, i can do anything.

you make me feel safe. because i have the most wonderful angel in heaven watching over me and looking after me. sometimes i wonder how i ever got so lucky. whenever i miss you badly, i think that you were a gift, but heaven needed their angel back eventually. the time we were given with you on earth was beautiful, and i'll forever be thankful for it. thank you for staying as long as you did. and thank you for never really leaving, not entirely.

i love you. i can't say it enough. i want to say it a million more times. and maybe it seems like i'm talking in circles. but i say it so much because all i want is for you to know. i love you. we love you. and we will never, ever forget you. you will forever be in our hearts, in our minds, in our lives, and in our skies. may you have found the peace and happiness that was lost to you on earth.

you did so well, angel.

always be with you.🌙

with love,

- hannah

[pbandjesse]

Today was better but I was still very tired. I'm still very tired right now. I actually had to call out from the BMI because when I woke up this morning I was in so much pain from this exhausting I'm feeling that I couldn't get up. I had a text from Jess and James and I texted them for a few minutes when my alarm went off at 7 but I just decided I couldn't do it. I texted my boss and told her what was up and then I planned on still coming tomorrow and she was cool about it and told me to feel better. But this exhaustion is real guys. This is not just like I'm sleepy this is like my whole body cannot recover. And other people are saying it's jet lag but I don't know. It doesn't feel like a time zone thing. The time does it feel weird like it has in the past when I jump different time zones. I'm just so tired.

Getting to sleep that extra couple hours this morning did help when I was going to teach. And it really is making me feel like the BMI might be over for me. I'm going to hold out. I'm really going to try. But I don't know if I can do as many hours as they have me scheduled right now. Which sucks but it's not like it's that much money in the long run. Cuz like at Max I can make 12 hours a week. For 12 hours that's a lot of stress. I don't know. We'll see what happens. For now I'm going to keep going. Hopefully they just schedule me less.

But the nap helped and I got up at 10. I had a bagel and I got dressed. And I enjoyed being able to sit and not be expected to do anything for an hour. Like honestly I feel like I've barely had any real time to myself. And I know I have but a lot of that's been spent sleeping. And I'm just feeling a little worn down.

I left here a little after 12 and I went to catch the bus. I got to work and they were on a lockdown. It was very strange that were police officers and stuff. I'm still not entirely sure what happened. Cuz there was a fight yesterday that I heard may have had something to do with it but the governor also came to do a tour of the building? Unclear. They let me into the building and didn't say anything to me. Just all the doors were locked.

But I got to me closet space and started organizing. And Chelsi came and we talked. She confronted me about how upset I got yesterday about the hands on part of their football game. And how I may have upset a few of the kids. And I'm not going to deny that that was a big reaction on my part. But I was getting spoken to by another teacher and I was frustrated and frazzled and exhausted. But I can own up to my mistakes. So when the kids came in today we had them sit down in the back and I apologized for how I reacted to them. And that it wasn't appropriate and that we can all work on being kinder to each other. Speaking softer. We spent the next 15 minutes talking about how we can do better and making kind of a list of ideas. And most of the kids were really on board. There were two that were just not having it and it was making the other kids very frustrated. But it's always a work in progress.

We went outside for recess and we had a pretty good time. Me, Destiny, and Deaira walk around taking pictures of my clock Furby Patches, and Mackenzie braided my hair for a while. It was nice. We had pizza for dinner and I had some fun conversations with some of my kids. Including Mackenzie telling me that she's going to be president someday. Not that she wants to be but that she's going to be. And I really like the enthusiasm.

Our time was a little strange. Chelsea left the room to go and walk one of the girls around because they needed to talk and have some one-on-one time. Which is fine. But one of the table groups just decided they wanted to take the day off completely. And I was okay with it because they were under all the coats kind of hanging out in the corner and not bothering anyone. But then the other groups would walk over and step on them because I didn't see them under the coats. So that was frustrating. Trying to manage that and hot glue stuff. But most of the groups made great progress. One of the groups is still having trouble working as a team but in general it's still going well.

We have to start making a music playlist for them. So I have to add like 15 more songs to this playlist for tomorrow. But it was nice to have some music going on even if our speaker system is a little messed up. I need to remember to bring my bluetooth speaker at some point if I can find it.

We finished up the day okay though. I took the kids to snack and Chelsea let me leave right before 5:30 again so I can make the bus. I still am going to feel guilty about that every single day but she keeps saying it's fine. And that she just wants me to be safe at home and not standing outside for 45 minutes. Which I appreciate. But I still feel guilty about it. I hope they put the 545 bus back on the schedule. Because that was the better option. But now that the sun is staying up later it's not as big of a deal for me to stay until 6 anyway. It's just going to be different going forward every time I think.

I had to run a little bit but I did make the 5:30 bus even if it came at 5:28. I got home a couple minutes before 6. And changed and fed sweet pea. And then I biked to James's house for dinner. He made us fajitas. And Brandon was there. And that was fun. I mostly played on my phone and we talked about dumb stuff and they played video games and I watched videos. Dinner was good. And James started making Cookie Dough because I just wanted to eat that not necessarily the actual cookies. And he's the best boyfriend ever so he just did that. And then a little bit before 9 I headed home.

I started getting a headache on my right back. I got back here and took a shower and that helped. I wash my hair because it really needed it. And now I am laying in bed in my nice fluffy robe. And I am looking forward to falling asleep soon. Have one tour in the morning at the BMI and then I'm teaching. We have the intern tomorrow which is going to be interesting. It's the first time I'll work with him. He seems nice though. Very smart. I want to find out a little bit more of his story. But I think it'll be a nice day.

I hope you guys all have a good night. Sleep well. Stay warm.

[airadam]

Episode 123 : Count On It.

"...we see people as numbers and we make 'em check a box."

- Invincible

I couldn't not acknowledge the numerical sequence in this month's episode number! The episode title ties into that, but also the consistency I pride myself on when it comes to getting the show completed; on time, every time. As far as the tunes this time out, there are a few that play on the theme, plus we remember the great Sean Price on the 4th anniversary of his passing, as well as a bunch of other interesting tracks both old and new. 1, 2, 3, let's go!

Twitter : @airadam13

Playlist/Notes

Geto Boys : 1, 2, the 3

I'm opening with this track just on principle, but only including Scarface's opening verse - if you want the whole thing, look up "The Foundation" album. That Tone Capone (who gave us the classic "I Got 5 On It") groove is wicked though...

[Pete Rock] Ed O.G. : Right Now! (Instrumental)

It's always good to hear a Pete Rock beat, and the re-issue of "My Own Worst Enemy", his album with Boston legend Edo G, has a full set of instrumentals 👍

Sean Price ft. St.Maffew : Weed & Hoes

Disrespectful on multiple levels - but so good. Not sure who produced this, but that's a brilliant bit of sample manipulation to turn gospel vocals into the hook for this thugged-out track. Sean's verse is definitely the one, but Maffew Ragazino (performing under an (in)appropriate alias) does his thing here too. If you can find it, this track is on the "Kimbo Price" mixtape. I can't believe this is ten years old already!

Heather B : All Glocks Down

A classic anti-gun record from the mid-90s, with this BDP affiliate taking no kinds of shorts on the mic at all! In fact, she would say she was "Takin' Mine", as her debut LP was titled. Kenny Parker works an old soul classic for the beat.

Termanology ft. Bun B : How We Rock

I don't know why I haven't played this one until now - it's been a headphone favourite for a long time, as you can tell by the reference to "Obama '08"! Lawrence, MA and Port Arthur, TX in combination here as Termanology brings in the legend Bun B of UGK to add his gravitas and gravelly flow to this DJ Premier-produced track. "Politics As Usual" is definitely worth a listen if you don't know it, and a re-listen if you do - there are a good number of quality tracks on it.

Papoose : Numerical Slaughter

Every time I think of Papoose, I now think of the late Combat Jack (RIP) - that said, I'd like to think even he couldn't deny this one! In a thematic blend between "Alphabetical Slaughter" and something like Emanon's "Count Your Blessings", 2019 Papoose runs through the numbers one to nine over a dramatic DJ Premier beat. Bars like this show that the title of his new LP ("Underrated") is an accurate one.

Jel : Loop/Truncate

We take a break from the rhymes to hear some pure SP1200 wizardry from Anticon's Jel, taken from the appropriately-titled "10 Seconds" album. That drum programming clearly took some serious work - those who've ever tried it will understand the difficulty level of some of those fills! 

Bumpy Knuckles ft. Big Gov, V Stylez, and Kuye Mason : In Love With The Game

The "Pop Duke, Vol.1" LP is a heavy collaboration with the producer Nottz which is a recommended pickup if you love that boom-bap sound. While there are some big guests on the album, this track features some less well-known artists - Big Gov and V Stylez from Detroit, plus NYC's Kuye Mason on the hook. The beat grinds along like a drunk and grimier version of EPMD's "Headbanger", and after all the guests have eaten, Bumpy Knuckles comes in at the end to do what he does best - clean up like a pro.

Freddie Gibbs : Fuckin' Up The Count

Dark drug business from Gangsta Gibbs' "Shadow of a Doubt" LP. If you were a fan of "The Wire", you might recognise the intro voiceover, bridge, and the outro (if you can hear it) from some classic scenes taken from that monumental series. Speakerbomb, Frank Dukes, and Boi-1da merge some melancholy piano and bass which match the theme with some clean trap drums for that speaker shake.

Portishead : Numb 

The classic "Dummy" album, Portishead's debut, is twenty-five years old this month! This was the lead single, and one hell of an introduction to this Bristol trio. Hip-Hop heads would immediately be able to detect the presence of kindred spirits in method and influence, if not direct style. A track like this wouldn't be the same without Geoff Barrow's scratching filling in the breaks between Beth Gibbons' killer vocals. If you don't know this album, sit in on an evening and give it a front-to-back listen.

Marco Polo ft. Sean P & Rock : I'm So High (Remix)

It was completely coincidental I ended up choosing two weed-themed Sean P tracks this month! This one is new to me, but is a winner - reuniting Heltah Skeltah on a fire Marco Polo beat. The original version of this track, minus Rock, is at least seven years old, so it's not a posthumous piece as such - Marco and Sean definitely worked together on this. "The Green" mini-album compilation is a whole project of ganja business, which I can at least appreciate on a music level even if it's not my experience :)

MFSB : Something For Nothing

Even if you don't know this song, it'll be familiar to quite a number of you because it's been sampled so many times! I'm playing this from an old dusty 7", but that's just a single release from the 1973 self-titled debut album from the house band of the mighty Philadelphia International Records.

The Left ft. Invincible : Statistics

I believe it was Vicky T's "Rhyme & Reason" show that introduced me to this track. The Left is a Detroit crew made up of Journalist 103 on the mic, Apollo Brown on production, and DJ Soko with the cuts. Local mic flamethrower Invincible is the featured artist on this selection from the 2010 "Gas Mask" album, and both MCs paint pictures (one first-person, one not) of hard lives in the face of an uncaring, bureaucratic system.

Rapsody ft. GZA and D'Angelo : Ibtihaj

Now this is what you call a big co-sign - Rapsody rhyming over a tweaked version of the "Liquid Swords" beat, and getting GZA himself to contribute a guest verse! If that wasn't enough, the notoriously reclusive D'Angelo comes in to perform the hook. That kind of weight lets you know that this MC is the truth. She commands the mic with strength and confidence, and it feels like the start of a coming-out party. The new "Eve" album is a sixteen-song collection where every track is names after a woman Rapsody admires - in this case, the American Muslim hijabi fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad. Enjoy listening here, but the striking video is definitely worth a watch too!

Camp Lo : Superfly

This Camp Lo demo is dope as-is, but one that I wouldn't have minded hearing done again for the "Uptown Saturday Night" LP. As it is, this is a track that was unknown to most of us until the release of "On The Way Uptown", which collected together a lot of the demos and sketches from that era. Boom-bap, sparkle, and slang in abundance.

DRS ft. Enei : Count To Ten

Last episode you heard DRS in Hip-Hop mode from his most recent LP, but here we go D&B as we wind it all the way back to his debut LP, "I Don't Usually Like MCs But..." DRS delivers his lines with a measured aggression and is never hurried by the track - like an MC version of the T-101. For the instrumental, Russian producer Enei keeps things stark and dark.

Kev Brown : Victorious

Beat-heads will enjoy Kev Brown's short concept beat tape "Delve Into Classical Moog" from which this is taken; not only does he make heavy use of the sounds of the synth of the same name, but also samples the words of the great Robert Moog himself. I've extended this track a bit to make it more suitable for the show outro voiceover, and it was one well worth playing right to the end.

Redman : Da Countdown (Saga Continues)

This might have been a more appropriate pick for episode 321, but if I'm lucky and energetic enough to get that far, that's over sixteen years away - which would make this track officially an oldie! As it is, this is the highlight of the 2004 "Ill At Will" mixtape by Redman, coming out on his then-new label, Gilla House. The beat is bombastic, and Red is not coming meek and mild with it either! The  sample on the hook should sound familiar to those who've been listening since the 90s - it's from the final NWA album. Ironic that the saga did not continue in the way they might have expected...

Please remember to support the artists you like! The purpose of putting the podcast out and providing the full tracklist is to try and give some light, so do use the songs on each episode as a starting point to search out more material. If you have Spotify in your country it's a great way to explore, but otherwise there's always Youtube and the like. Seeing your favourite artists live is the best way to put money in their pockets, and buy the vinyl/CDs/downloads of the stuff you like the most!

  Check out this episode!