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lkfarrout · 4 months ago

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What Happened Last Summer (18+) Chapter 1

My first fic guys! (I'm gonna throw up I'm so nervous)

Read Chapter 2 next!

This is the first chapter out of probaby 10 or more and I plan to post a chapter a day. Takes place the summer after the show does, and introduces an OC/love interest for Stan named Kathy :)))

There is some mild sexual content, so I will be marking the whole series as 18+. There is some light angst, arguments, etc. This series really could be titled "Stanley Pines is forced to actually talk about his feelings for once in his life"

Enjoy! Press 'keep reading' for the fic

“Welcome to the Mystery Shack,” the redhead at the counter was less than enthusiastic – she barely bothered to glance up from her magazine. Kathy lingered at the counter and studied the interior of the store. The walls were covered in shelves of bizarre amalgamations of animal parts, interspersed with hats and t-shirts and a few hand-painted signs that said “No Refunds”. A few customers browsed the items, including an older man in a light blue Hawaiian shirt eyeing a treat inside the vending machine.

“Could I talk to your boss, Soos, if he isn't busy?”

The girl looked at the clock, then back down at her reading, and said “He’s finishing a tour right now. What do you need?”

Kathy dug around in her bag. “I’m new in town, just reopened the motel. I was wondering if I could leave some business cards here?”

At that, the man at the vending machine spun around.

“Actually, I’m the owner of this fine establishment.” He leaned an elbow on the counter and proudly gestured around the room. Suddenly, she found her hand in his and he shook it firmly. “Stan Pines – original Mr. Mystery.” His rough, but confident voice echoed through the giftshop.

Kathy tried to meet his eyes but instead found herself staring at the open collar of his shirt. A gold chain poked through a bit of hair that matched the thick silver stands on his head.

“Sorry,” she began with a small laugh, “I thought you were a customer.”

“I guess you could say I’m retired,” he replied, gesturing to a $15 bobble-head of a man in a black suit and fez. Kathy could sort of see the resemblance, especially the nose. “But I’m not too old to recognize a good business opportunity!” He grabbed the cards from her other hand and studied them. Gravity Falls Twin Bed Motel - now under new management. Open Friday -Monday. He flipped it over to find a name and a phone number. Katherine Phillips, owner.

“Lovely to meet ya, Katherine. Welcome to town.” He shook her hand again.

“Thank you Stan, but you can call me Kathy,” she replied.

“I’ll strike a deal with you, Kathy. I’ll hand out your business cards if you take some of these,” he handed her a stack of bumper stickers, “and send a few people this way.”

“That’s exactly what I had in mind.” She threw the stickers in her bag. “I look forward to working with you. See you around, Stan” Then, Kathy did something stupid – she winked at him. She wasn’t entirely sure why, other than it seemed that this man’s charisma was rubbing off on her. As soon as she winked, however, every drop of charisma, every minute of sales experience, every cool, casual part of Stan instantly vaporized. A slight pink tinge flooded his cheeks and he cleared his throat into his fist.

“Yeah, I’ll see ya around.” He watched her walk out the door, then watched her get in her car, then watched her drive off. Before he knew it a hand was waving in front of his face.

“Mr. Pines?”

“Huh?” He shook himself out of it. “Oh, Soos.”

“I see you met Kathy.” Soos nudged Stan with his elbow.

“You know her?”

“She hired my grandma to clean motel rooms – real nice lady. And close to your age too, Mr. Pines.”

Stan considered this information, and started fiddling with the stack of business cards. “What are ya sayin’?”

“Well, you know, ever since I met Melody, I’m sort of like the expert on relationships. I’m sure if you don’t ask her out, Mabel will do it for you when she gets into town.”

“No, Soos, I couldn’t…” Stan began.

“Mr. Pines,” Wendy butted in, “she winked at you. C’mon, ask her out! Ask her out!” She pounded on the counter in rhythm, and Soos joined in the chanting.

“Ask her out! Ask her out!”

“Fine!” Stan grabbed a business card and shoved it in his pocket. “Just get back to work.”

_______

With a deep breath, Stan picked up the phone’s receiver and began dialing.

“Kathy? It’s Stan… yeah, from yesterday at the shack. Look if you’re not busy tonight, I thought ya might like a tour of the town. I’ve lived here thirty-one years, y’know.”

“A personal tour from Mr. Mystery himself? I couldn’t pass that up.” She teased him, “Will I get to see Bigfoot?”

Stan chuckled, “Nah that stuff's all for the tourists – if you’re gonna live here you need the real tour. Thought I’d take ya to the diner, we could drive around, and maybe go out to the lake.”

“Stan, this sounds more like a date than a tour to me.”

“Ah, ya got me! Guilty as charged.”

Kathy laughed, “Alright, Stan, I’ll see you tonight.”

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stan pines x oc #stanford pines #grunkle stan #fanfic #light angst #mabel pines #dipper pines #light smut

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yandere-daze · 3 years ago

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Headcanons for T posing in front of Amir to assert dominance, please!

Ahahaha glad to see this make a comeback! I think the original t-posing post with the dorm leaders still remains one of my most popular posts which I really didn´t expect when I was writing it! I remember just suddenly having this crack idea while at work and I kept thinking about it the entire day to the point I felt like I just needed to write and share it with you guys!

I was very pleasantly surprised when I saw how much people seemed to enjoy that post! It was also a lot of fun to write honestly :D

tw yandere ( not really relevant for this one but Amir is a yandere), obssession, talks of wanting to be used by you, mention of heaven and gods, hints of suggestive themes(?)

T-posing in front of Amir to assert your dominance

This implies that your dominance in the relationship isn´t already obvious to anyone with eyes

Naturally with him not being human in the first place and only just recently having come down to earth to see more of you, Amir wouldn´t have the first idea about memes or other human trends

The kind of person to ask “What is a may-may?” dnakwd

Literally has no clue what you are doing when one day you stand in front of them with your arms outstretched to both sides.

Their first response funnily enough is panic

Is this some kind of human custom he should be familiar with? Because he really doesn´t understand what you are doing and he just gets more nervous the longer you stare at him so full of intensity and expectations. Just how is he supposed to respond to this? Amir has never seen anything like this before, not on his short time on earth and certainly not high up in the skies when he was still residing with the other gods

Is this what is going to expose them as not being human? Will their incapability of properly responding to this no doubt important gesture be their undoing? Are you going to be disgusted with them once you find out that they have lied to you all this time about being a human just like you to get closer to you? Are you going to abandon him? His heart breaks at the very thought and he feels like his entire world is about to end right this moment, you can even see him physically shaking from his fear to the point you would grow very concerned

Amir really is having an entire existential crisis because you t-posed in front of him, take responsibility!

“Is everything okay?” You would most certainly ask after he reacted so strongly to what was only supposed to be a joke

With tears threatening to spill from their eyes, Amir shouts at you with desperation in his voice : “I-I´m so so sorry but.... I don´t understand what you´re doing or how to respond!”

There, he said it. Their chest heaves as they watch you in painful anticipation but then to their shock you... start laughing. There was no disgust or shock on your face, just amusement.

And really, who could blame you for finding all of this ridiculously funny? You tried meme-ing and t-posed in front of Amir as a joke and he apparently took it so seriously! Really you felt a bit guilty with how distraught they looked for not getting the joke but you just couldn´t help yourself, this reaction was better than anything you could have imagined

Wiping away the tears from the corner of your eye you chuckle one last time before deciding to finally enlighten him.

“ There´s really no reason to take this so seriously! It´s just a joke! I´m t-posing in front of you to assert my dominance!”

Congrats, you just turned Amir in a stuttering and blushing mess! At once, all of his fears dissapeared and were instead replacing with a fluttering in his chest as your words were processed in his mind.

You.... were trying to assert your dominance? You weren´t mad at him? Just the implications alone made them swoon tbh

They would gladly let you boss them around if you so wished, they are yours to use and take control of! They want nothing more than to bring you joy and happiness, it has become their entire purpose after they came down from heaven so please, they´re willing to do anything for you!

Of course you´re also more than free to touch and kiss them however you like! Any sort of affection from you makes Amir almost short-circuit from all the overwhelming love he feels for you but he would never want you to stop with it either because he just loves any sort of attention you pay to him!

He just wants to be able to love you and maybe have you love him back in return, there´s nothing he wouldn´t give to earn your favor! So please, order him around as much as you like, he would literally never complain <3

“But you´re already the dominant one in this relationship”, is what Amir finally answers after a few awkward moments of silence

“What”

#oc #amir #oc: amir #yandere #yandere oc #cw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere cupid #amir x reader #cw obsession #gn reader

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melis-ash · 3 years ago

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Since you're so observant I have two NTTD questions for you:

1. When Madeleine and James are about to meet Blofeld James asks her, "Excited to see an old friend?" But I couldn't make out what Madeleine replied (something "closest")?

2. In Matera, Madeleine says something in French and James repeats it but I have no idea what it meant.

Thanks in advance!

Hi! Sorry for late answer, I needed to refresh my memory.

I rewatched Bond & Madeleine scenes in Spectre, but I couldn`t find this dialogue. The closest one feels scene, when they get off the train. Bond asks her “This might be a long wait. Are you having second thoughts?” Madeleine answers “Too late now”.

Also when Blofeld`s subordinate meets Bond and Madeleine in Blofeld`s residence, he says “I want you to know just how excited we all are to finally meet you” . Bond anwers “Well, it`s a pleasure to be here”, but Madeleine keeps silence.

Later, in scene with meteorite, Blofeld says I`m so glad you came, too, dear Madeleine. You were just a girl, when I saw you first. I came to your home once to see your father.” Madeleine answers “I don`t remember it”.

(Somehow I have the impression, that she lies, maybe because she doesn`t want to communicate with Blofeld too much and prefers to observe. At least she mostly keeps quiet during Blofeld`s excursion and breaks the silence only to make conclusion “Now I understand why my father lost his mind”.) So maybe scene, that you talk about, is some mix of these two or three scenes?

I watched NTTD in very bad quality with Russian dubbing and Dutch subtitles. I rewatched scenes in Matera, but I cant find dialogue on French between Bond and Madeleine, despite scene with Madeleine and her mother, where they speak on French was without Russian dubbing, there was original French sound. Maybe people who made dubbing somehow decided translate this on Russian anyway or I cant hear it, because bad quality of sound. If you give me more detailed description of scene (at least location), I can make sreencaps with hardsub and send you.

Since I began to write this post, I cant help, but want to add, that after rewatching scenes with Blofeld, it was especially nice to rewatch Bond and Madeleine dialogues in Spectre, because she is so talkative with him. During Blofeld`s monologue it looks like Madeleine considers him as another psycho, one of many ones, she saw in her life and at same time she keeps silence because she doesn`t want to give him information about her emotional state. But with Bond she is much more relaxed. Partly because she likes him and feels herself in safety enough with him,, but also, I think, because inside her standarts Bond is more or lesser normal. Nor really normal, but given how many creepy bastards she saw in her life and how many problems Madeleine has herself, Bond can be considered as not psycho ™ at least, even if he is not fully mentally healthy, lol.

#james bond #madeleine swann #00swann #spectre #no time to die #nttd #blofeld #007 #text post

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goldie90 · 2 years ago

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I really wanna participate in the reblog game of reblog with a picture of your f/o and I'll give them an animal but tumblers being finicky and refusing to take me to the post. Can I have a link? Lol

Hi Alex.😃

Oh I´m sorry but you´re a bit late here, I just deleted the original post (that´s why you couldn´t find it).I did this because it was a very old game (I posted it back in april) and I´m not in the mood to play it any longer.

Again I´m sorry. I hope you´re not too disappointed.

I wish you a good night.💖

#sorry :(

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your--isgayrights · 4 years ago

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Okay i actually have no clue on how tumblr works (hope I'm doing this right lmao) but I'm writing my first fic (I still can't really move on from orv so I decided to make my own content lol.), I really love your writing style, do you have any tips??

Hmmmm tips tips tips tips.... First of all I’m really flattered that you like my writing enough to ask me about it! I’ll try to give my best answer... I think that I used to read a lot of people’s “writing tips” but ultimately I ended up not really understanding them until I started writing a lot? Either way it’s fun to read how other authors think... It’s really cool that you’re writing your first fic and you thought to come to me... did I already say that? Okay long post under the cut.

I don’t think this will be all that helpful, but this is just things that I think about if that’s interesting!

For me a lot of writing is like struggling with motivation (I have ADHD so that’s probs why), I really have to pace myself while writing because I can’t just force myself to do it. If I go in every day and think “I have to write today I’m not doing anything so I should be writing” I can get burnt out really easily, even if I really like the thing I’m writing and know how it’s supposed to go. So one of my big things is that when I’m not thinking about writing I’m not thinking about writing. that gives my brain a break and refreshes me when I get back to my google document.

Something I’ve also struggled with having to remember is that there’s like. Never a perfect way to write. What I end up doing is thinking up ideas and fragments and sentences in my head and the very moment I think of something I like I have to write it down in my notes app. Most of my writing process ends up being like. Filling in the blanks and connecting the dots between scene fragments.

For fics in particular I’d also just recommend rereading your favorite parts of the og work! I’m the kind of person who has a pretty good reading memory, so people may have noticed that I include a lot of little details referencing the text in my fic. Just reading the work kind of helps you remember the voices of the character and the style of the narration, and if you just like. internalize it. you can probably replicate it pretty well if you wanted to.

OKAY I say that but don’t worry too much about replicating things in the og work perfectly. I find that a lot of times when I’m writing I’m inserting a lot of personal touches and putting things that are a part of me in the work. Writing is always going to be like. an extension of your voice, no matter what you’re writing. I think that when I heard about stuff like that from authors in the past I was always like. What? I’m not writing about things that happened to me. I’m writing about grown adult men having emotional issues, silly. But there’s like a lot more nuance to writing about yourself, I guess. Like you don’t have to have like a self insert or be projecting onto a character to have yourself reflected in something you’ve written.

I’d say that like, whatever you write as your first fic is going to be lovely, but when you grow up as a writer and look back on it, you’re not going to remember who you were when you wrote it. I think that’s why a lot of people look back on their first works and are like “I can’t believe I wrote that, what was I thinking, cringe cringe cringe ugh.” Like I definitely do that sometimes, but I’ve found that the old work I’m happiest with nowadays is the stuff where I can recognize myself in it, even if I’m not in that fandom anymore or if there’s old jokes or typos I don’t remember making.

With that being said, I’m the kind of person who always gives myself a mission statement when I’m writing. I sort of mentally go, okay, I’m writing this kind of thing, and this is why I’m writing it. It can be something like oh I’m writing this fluff piece because I love this character and wish they had a happier ending, or oh I want to write this multi chapter fic exploring an issue touched on in the original work but I feel like with my own experiences I could expand on it more than the author did. Just something that tells me why it is important to me to write this thing when I’m writing it.

AAAH I feel like I made that sound more dramatic than it really is, that’s just how I think I guess. I’m the kind of guy where its like things need to have like MEANING to me when I do them. I’m dramatic and gay and that’s my personality I guess 😔.

Hmmm maybe it’s also my BIGGEST writing tip tho. Like kind of just thinking things through when you’re writing is pretty important. When I was first learning to write at all (talking about baby baby me here this is like sort of a side tangent sorry) I think that a lot of times I would copy phrases and developments that I had liked in things that I had read without really fully considering why I would include those things other than the fact that that was just what I thought writing was. It’s important to consider what importance every scene and sentence has to do with the flow of the story. Are they just things that are happening, or is there a reason that the audience needs to know these things? The weight of your words should have some sort of consequence as a result of you writing them. Are you telling the audience information they need to know? Is it about how the character feels? What does this say about the character? Etc.

I suppose that’s sort of my own writing style. You’ll probably notice that I don’t write a lot of descriptive prose if you read my fic. The thing about me is that I never want to write something that makes my audience question why they’re reading it, I guess. I’m sort of self conscious and think about the reading experience a lot. All of the things I choose to describe are usually so that the reader can understand where people are in the scene and what emotions they are having. There’s a lot of emphasis that I put in like. A reader’s ability to read into things, which works against me sometimes because I’m not always certain if people picked up on different things that I put a lot of thought into (the curse of being seen... sob).

ALSO use paragraph breaks. In my first fic (that I’m not going to tell anyone what is even though its on ao3 because im shy) the thing I always regret the MOST is that there are big chunky paragraphs that are hard to read through at the start. Like my eyes get lost. I mentioned I have ADHD before but even though I like. physically can’t read a big chunky paragraph I will always write them that way if left to my own devices. Paragraph breaks don’t have to just be broken up by dialogue they can be wherever you feel like doing them. You need a lot of them. This post should probably have more of them... oh my god it’s so long...

OKAY FOR REAL THOUGH IF YOU COULDN”T SLOG THROUGHT THE REST OF THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP IS RIGHT HERE:

JUST LET YOURSELF WRITE

I have a lot of like. academic trauma, so maybe this is just me, but the reason I didn’t write fic until I was like 16 was because I was always really scared that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be good enough for some impossible standard I was setting for myself. I was always telling myself that I had certain bad writing habits or that I was terrible for never being able to focus on things for very long and all of my projects were doomed to failure before I even started. But then I wrote my first like 8 chapter fic in the summer of my junior year and I was like... oh. that wasn’t so bad. Like. It’s okay to know your limits, but you don’t really know them until you start writing. Like I wrote an 8 chapter fic, and then a few one shots, and then I tried to take on a very complicated project that ended up being over 40 chapters and I had to put it down because I just wasn’t really at the writing level to finish it. I would advise against writing fics that take so long to write that you start hating the way you wrote the first chapter, basically lol. Know how whatever you’re writing is supposed to begin and end before you start writing it.

Nowadays I always have like. plot outlines in my head when I start a fic. Like okay this needs to happen here this needs to happen here etc. I like making lists if it seems to overwhelming when I’m writing something long, just to organize my thoughts.

OKAY I JUST TALKED A LOT. SORRY IF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO READ ALL OF THIS BUT I’M A LITTLE CHATTY IF YOU DIDN’T NOTICE.

Defo feel free to dm me if you have like questions or just want to chat about orv or whatever. I’m a lonely little man out here floating on my pile of words, and I’d love to hear what your fic is about!!

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devilishsahbi · 4 years ago

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Dark Wings, Dark Words (1/??)

"I WOULD THINK YOU'D have a nice gallon of vodka or two after that, except you're sitting in an alleyway with a Red Bull and looking at the wall." The demon at the back door grinned at her with a sly smile, watching the half breed flip him off and take another chug of the energy drink. Her fingers slipped clumsily over the aluminum can, wet and darkened with blood, leaving smears wherever she rested her hands. "On a brighter note, I'm glad you saved him. It would have been awful if he had died."

"I doubt any of you care if he did die." [Name] fumbled in her scrubs for a wet wipe of some kind, at least to get some of the more vivid parts on her arms, but came up empty. "You certainly didn't mind when I was elbow deep in his rib cage pulling out that angelic monstrosity."

She pointed lazily to the broken dagger blade laying across from her in the alleyway. Even detatched from its hilt and the hand of the owner, it glimmered dangerously with golden runes along the flat edge, lethal to any demon who touched it except for her. Her human blood came in handy sometimes when she wasn't being hated for it.

"Yes, well, what can I say?" He shrugged. The earrings in his ears glinted under the artificial light of the lamp post outside the door. "I'm the patron demon of sadism."

"Good point." [Name] took a final drink and crushed the can in her palm. She rocked forward onto her feet, wiping her hands on the legs of her pants. Another pair ruined with demon blood. "He should heal up just fine now that that's gone."

"What do I pay you?" Zotiel crossed his arms and leaned against the door. She clearly wasn't going back inside. "Lucifer says you're very expensive to work with."

"Did he?" She laughed and toed off her shoes. Those were ruined too, doused in the blood her patient had vomited when she palpated his stomach. The white was indiscernible from the dark liquid. "Let me keep that blade and I'll consider it paid."

"Deal." Zotiel smiled, holding his hand out to shake. An oddly human gesture, but she accepted it anyways, not the least bit shocked when he squeezed hard enough to make her knuckles turn white. He inhaled deeply, much to her disgust and amusement, eyes fluttering shut. When he opened his eyes again, he gave her a tiny shrug, but wasn't apologetic in the least. "Sorry. Your pain smells amazing."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She pulled her hand free. "Or should I be concerned?"

"No. It was a compliment." His smile grew wider, his eyes darker. "You have my number if you want to explore it a bit more."

Not in this lifetime. She smiled at him one last time, turning on her heel and scooping up the dagger as she went. "Thanks for the offer, but no thank you. I'm going to head out now. Drop by if you're ever in the human world."

"Doubtful, but I'll keep it in mind. See you."

When [Name] was safely around the corner and far away from the storage building, she breathed a sigh of relief. Dealing with Zotiel had been a pain⏤Lucifer loved sending her on jobs that involved the demon, whether she wanted to or not, and got a sick kick out of every interaction she had with him. There had been far too many times where Zotiel got way too close for comfort and inflicted some kind of pain on her, even if it was something as simple as a pinch or poke.

If she'd had a choice, she wouldn't touch him with a thirty foot pole. And for extra measure, another ten feet, because she wasn't sure how far his range extended for sensing her pain. He'd even admitted, shamelessly, to finding even her emotional pain arousing.

The disgust she had felt when he told her that had followed her all the way to Lucifer's office.

"Ugh." She rubbed away the chills that raced up her arms and flicked out a cigarette from her back pocket. She never smoked often, but stressful situations like that one had her nerves on fire. It was why she had never completely dropped the habit, even after going cold turkey. "Why do I even bother?"

[Name] knew why she bothered. Without the underworld, she was nothing. Without the Devildom, she was nothing. The measly human side of her would fizzle away if she didn't have the Devildom to return to. It was the only thing keeping the awful urges at bay anymore. No one could pick out just what she got her power from, but she was abnormally powerful even for a half breed, alluring to even purebloods like Zotiel.

She had tossed around ideas like death or regret, but none of those seemed possible, seeing as she would be infinitely more powerful than she was now if that was the case. Whatever it was, it didn't require physical contact like Asmodeus, or the overabundance of eating like Beelzebub. It just was, and seemed to exist everywhere she went, even in Devildom.

[Name] shook herself roughly and took another puff of her cigarette. She didn't have time to bother with the origins of her power. She had to get to Lucifer's office, report her success, and return to the human world, take a quick three hour nap, and repeat it all over again. If she wasn't half demon, she would be dead ten times over already. Her stamina was astonishing, her lack of sleep even more so.

Luckily, no one questioned the back-to-back forty eight hour shifts she took without a wink of sleep.

She reached the House of Lamentation in record time, pocketing the dagger where no one could see or even sense it. One of her sorcerer friends, Solomon, had been kind enough to provide her with the spell to hide such a relic, but only after he wheedled a pact out of her and promised to only use it if he was dying.

To her surprise, she found Asmodeus and Mammon on the front steps, one sulky and the other irritated, glancing back to the door every so often. They would meet gazes, then look away, and repeat the entire thing. She wasn't even sure they heard her walk up until she was right on top of them, scaring Mammon to the point where he looked like an agitated cat, jumping a few feet in the air.

"Damnit, [Name]! What do ya think you're doin'?!"

"[Name]!" Asmodeus cooed, vastly more excited to see her, his pout taking a one-eighty as he cocooned her in a tight hug. The kiss he pressed to the side of her neck was a greeting at this point, even when he lingered a bit too long for her comfort. "It's so nice to see you again! I was worried Lucifer had fired you when you didn't show up for the raid last week."

"Could'a used your help then," Mammon supplied, in that same accusatory tone. He shoved Asmodeus aside and brought her into a hug of his own, though, even though he was as stiff as a board. He had taken to doing that after she yanked a spear out of his stomach and kept him from bleeding out by loaning him some of her power when he was worryingly weak. "Beel got sick an' Belphie took out a few minions."

[Name] patted his back and smiled when he parted from her, retreating to what she assumed was a comfortable distance for him. Any closer and he'd probably combust on the spot. She scratched her nose, cringing at the smell of blood. "Sorry, I was busy that whole week. My mother hasn't been the best lately."

"Oh! Mrs. [Surname]!" Asmo cheered. He knew the demon woman from a few centuries ago, she remembered, after she'd nearly snapped his neck for getting too close to her with the intent to seduce her. "The patron of disease. How is she?"

"Ya know she could just come back down here," Mammon suggested, leaning against one of the stone statues dotting the front lawn. "That's probably why she ain't feelin' too hot."

[Name] shrugged. "You know I can't make her, and besides… She refused. I do what I can. But why are you both outside?"

Asmodeus went sulky again. "The king released the prince from his bonds last week. If you'd been here, you would have heard everyone gossiping about it! And he's quite good looking, If I have to say myself⏤"

"Lucifer did somethin' to get on his bad side," Mammon finished. He tried to look unconcerned, but she could pick out the worry on his face like a beacon. "Somethin' 'bout defyin' him."

"Lucifer and his insufferable pride," she sighed. She rubbed her forehead, uncaring about the blood smearing across the skin. She could only imagine what Lucifer had told the prince. "Anything else I should know?"

"Yes!" Asmodeus raised a finger. "You probably shouldn't go inside. I don't think Lucifer wants the prince to know you're here, or that you even exist. I'd suggest just going topside and reporting in later."

[Name] groaned. "I have a shift tomorrow, I can't do that. What's so bad about this Prince, anyways? He can't be that bad…"

Asmodeus and Mammon exchanged glances.

"Uh… He's pretty bad." The demon of greed screwed his face up as he recalled something. "I keep reportin' to him, so I'd know. I think ya should be careful around him. He's even got Luci on a tight leash."

Lucifer on a leash was something she couldn't imagine. But with the way that her two friends were talking about him, she figured she'd better take them seriously and just report later, like Asmo had said. She sighed and stretched out her arms, preparing her power to teleport back to the human world.

"Well, I guess I'll just report later." [Name] shrugged and let Asmo pull her into a quick side hug in farewell, feeling the uncomfortable sensation of pulling on her magic reserves. "It was nice to see you two. I'll be back when⏤"

Her mouth froze when the door opened and power pushed past the wards protecting the house. All at once, her teleportation spell fizzled out and she was out of breath, suffocated by the energy that swelled past the barriers. Asmodeus's face twisted up into worry and slight horror, reaching over to steady her before she really lost her balance and face planted.

Not even Lucifer managed to overpower her like this, and he had been one of the first angels, once upon a time. Or he was at least stifling his to where she could converse with him comfortably without succumbing to her baser instincts⏤the demonic side that always purred at the thought of power.

Lucifer came out first, but he wasn't the source. His energy was calm and cool, most of the time, and not boiling hot, as if she were standing too close to a fire in an insulated jacket. He was frowning, displeased, and it deepened even further when he caught sight of her steadying herself on Asmo's arm, winded.

The demon inside her was unusually quiet.

"Whatever ya do, don't provoke 'im," Mammom advised, moving to her other side to rest a firm hand on her shoulder. He completely ignored the bits of gore left on her scrubs. "Don't talk unless he speaks to ya. Just be quiet. He'll ignore ya."

It didn't stop the dread creeping up her legs like phantom chains.

Out next came the source of the power⏤the topic of their discussion.

The Prince of Devildom.

[Name] was sure that if she wasn't so winded, her breath would have hitched at his appearance. He was tall, a few inches more than Beel, and he was already tall enough. His skin was golden bronze, nearly the same color as Mammon's, unusual as nearly everyone else was as pale as the moon. His hair was a deep crimson, reminiscent of fresh blood, and even from her distance, she could tell his eyes were a bright, burning gold.

Her fingers tightened in Asmo's bicep. He mistook it for fear and patted her knuckles soothingly.

His clothes, though, were spattered with blood. The white shirt he wore was ruined beyond saving, and behind him, a butler held a blazer in his arms, stone faced and nonchalant. [Name] probably admired his physique more than she should have, gradually regaining her breath and watching the muscles in his arms flex when he crossed his arms.

He was terrifyingly handsome.

She nearly forgot she was supposed to be breathing for a moment.

The prince ignored Lucifer entirely, a slight that showed as he walked past the former angel and walked down the steps at a leisurely pace. His butler followed, his own power nothing to scoff at, and she realized, belatedly, that they were walking towards them.

This time she felt Asmo and Mammon's grip on her tighten, not her own.

Her concern was for nothing. They walked past without a glance in their direction, the butler not even regarding them with a glance.

She sighed in relief. It was too soon.

[Name] heard a quiet sniff and it didn't belong to Mammon or Asmo. Lucifer's face drew tight. The demons beside her stiffened.

She should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

The prince paused half a foot from them, his head tilting towards her direction. The butler moved as he turned on his heel, poised easily to look back at her halfway.

[Name] swallowed the curse that was bubbling up in her throat.

"A half breed?" She felt his scorching gaze sweep up the length of her body, from her toes to her head, lingering on the blood dyeing her arms red, then at the necklace on her throat. Her mother's necklace. She had to fight not to tuck it in her shirt. "I didn't know Lucifer kept half breeds in his employ."

"Yes." The butler nodded. "A recent addition. A healer."

Asmo's quiet intake of breath wasn't lost on her. Clearly this demon had some sort of knowledge that they didn't.

"What's your name?" Those eyes were fixed on her again, boring into her own like molten gold. Now she really couldn't breathe.

Mammon's tightening grip on her shoulder, close to fracturing bone, told her to answer.

"[Name]," she answered, but it was strangled, breathy as she struggled underneath the power he was letting off. His eyebrows lifted, ponderous, then he turned away. She felt as if someone had left her out to melt on a hot sidewalk.

"Pretty name." His mouth quirked up, just a bit. "Let's go, Barbatos."

[Name] melted just a little more.

And then they were gone, like they had never even been there to begin with. She took a breath and slumped against Mammon, who was for more rigid than Asmo, and rested her hand over her chest, wincing at the ache from having her breath stolen for so long.

"This is bad," Mammon sighed, wrapping his arm around her back when her legs went wobbly. "Really bad."

"Definitely." Asmo shook his head in agreement. "Let's get you inside, [Name]. You can report while you recover."

The whole walk inside, those golden eyes haunted her.

Not even Lucifer's angry frown could stop it.

#obey me #mafia au #diavolo x reader #obey me diavolo

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1nniterz · 5 years ago

Text

uhhh yes hello

This is about the MOST RECENT Cookie Run event (a.k.a. the Find the Produce Pilferer one).

First, we need to check the UNDENIABLE facts that we have until now (ROUND 2 as I'm making this post):

• Angel and Carrot Cookie are [INNOCENT]

• Carrot Cookie was GIVING OUT carrots to everyone (free sample?)

* Evidence until this point:

• Small chunk of carrot

Meh. Not that useful, since ALL the Cookies were given a carrot.

• "Dark stain"

An INK STAIN!

• "Something spilled"

I doubt that this would be referring to SOMETHING ELSE other than the INK STAIN mentioned above, but if it is.... I have no idea. Sorry.

• Burn marks

A bomb!

• Footprints

Wow! Feet.

Now about which Cookies I THINK that are guilty or innocent, and why.

Quick note: The ORIGINAL theory was edited due to PLOTHOLES. And I was also in school and couldn't focus that much on my paper, bleeeeeh.

Yoga Cookie... Has a WEIRD reason to be on the market. I mean, WHO concentrates in crowds? But as she was MEDITATING while the incident happened, it COULDN'T BE her fault. [INNOCENT]

Pancake Cookie....?

Don't you EVER dare to accuse my baby of stealing those damn vegetables again.

Ahem. Pancake Cookie wouldn't do that, since he only likes Acorn Jellies! Next! [INNOCENT]

According to the Relationship Chart - that was unlocked by OTHER PEOPLE, and then SHARED on here, THANKS - of Muscle Cookie, he ADMIRES Spinach Cookie, therefore he WOULD NEVER do that to her. Like, there's legit NO REASON. And he was TRAINING when that happened, baby, what it do? [INNOCENT]

Strawberry Cookie...? There's not a SINGLE thing against her until now, but c'mon, she was INVITED by Spinach Cookie. Spinach Cookie PETS HER HEAD every time they meet, Strawberry would NEVER do that to HER. [INNOCENT]

Matcha Cookie... Is a COMPLICATED situation.

She is RELATED to Dark Enchantress Cookie and has been GUILTY in past events, sure, and she also has THAT WAY of speaking while laughing that makes her EXTREMELY suspect, BUT. But, but, but, but. I can't just suspect her because of personal reas-

You know what? She's evil and she likes plants, of course she would steal those f*ckin' vegetables. [SUSPECT]¹

Gah, I dislike her so much it's UNREAL, guys!

Mustard Cookie. Nothing SUSPECT happened with her... Except the fact that she bumped into Cherry Blossom Cookie.

Now THAT would cause one to deem her as suspect, BUT there's something.

There can be only FOUR (4) culprits. And I already know the other three. [INNOCENT]

Squid Ink Cookie? Did nothing wrong. Ever.

"What about the "Ink Stain" on the floor that you mentioned before?"

It is quite simple, meu amigo!

Think a bit. Why do squids squirt ink?

....Have the answer yet....?

Meh, alright.

"They use the ink to help them escape from predators. If they feel under attack, they will shoot out the ink so the predator will not be able to see clearly and then the squids will swim away and escape the predator."

I got this from an educational website since I can't put my thoughts into English words.

Squid Ink Cookie felt under attack. Scared. So they left that Ink Stain. Like any other squid would do! [INNOCENT]

Now here's where things start to get "hmmmmm".

Also, @/computerglitch8, thank you SO MUCH for posting your theory FIRST and inspiring me to edit mine.

Starting with Cherry Cookie.

"Werewolf Cookie ate a carrot! Shocking! I *ALMOST* dropped all of my bombs, teehee!"

Almost, you say? Then EXPLAIN the explosion that Mustard, Strawberry and Muscle heard.

Oh wait! Right after that she did said that she SET OFF the explosion! Then WHY did you say almost?! Why?!

"Probably because it was RIGHT AFTER this said event - seeing Werewolf Cookie eating a carrot."

Aaaaah! STILL not explained, I don't believe her. This CREEPY *SS SMILE always gave me the CHILLS. And WHY did she do that? Maybe it could be a DISTRACTION? Hm. [SUSPECT]²

Cherry Blossom Cookie. TOTALLY hiding something.

"Yoga Cookie and Muscle Cookie were doing yoga on the center of the market!"

Even though neither of them MENTION being together.... And WHY would Muscle Cookie be doing YOGA? I mean, what the HELL.

Other thing! Why do people BUMP into others?

Because one of them is RUSHING.

As Mustard was ALREADY LEAVING, they both bumped into each other NEXT TO THE EXIT. Notice as well how she says:

"I bumped into Mustard Cookie and I was picking up my things."

As NO plastic bag was MENTIONED, this can either refer to her umbrella, luggage thing (?) and plastic bag - you know, all of them TOGETHER - or....

Just her UMBRELLA and LUGGAGE THING.

"But what about the vegetables?!

Sh. INSIDE her luggage thing. [SUSPECT]³

Never trusted this anime M*ry P*ppins girl, I'm telling ya!

Last one? Werewolf Cookie.

So let's see if I get it. You were trying to GET AWAY from everyone. Yet... You got here?

I see a reason, by reading his story.

In the forest, he eats small fruits and hunts - as there are animals in the CR universe, like the Jelly Frog.

But he only eats those things to survive. It's been a long time since he hadn't eaten something actually delicious.

And Spinach's vegetables are exactly that, no? Extremely delicious. Perfect for someone looking for tastier foods after living for so long based on fruits and (raw?) meat.

I rest my case. [SUSPECT]⁴

I still like him though Wish he had a trial.

To Resume:

[SUSPECT]: CHERRY - CHERRY BLOSSOM - WEREWOLF - MATCHA

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readevalprint · 5 years ago

Text

Previewing images in and out of SLIME REPL

As any Common Lisp coder knows, a REPL is an incredibly useful tool. It can be used not just for development, but for running all sorts of tasks. Personally, I don’t bother making my Lisp tools into executable scripts and just run them directly from SLIME. As such, any operation that requires leaving the REPL is quite inconvenient. For me, one such operation was viewing image files, for example in conjunction with my match-client:match tool. So lately I’ve been researching various methods to incorporate this functionality into the normal REPL workflow. Below, I present 3 methods that can be used to achieve this.

Open in external program

This one’s easy. When you want to view a file, launch an external process with your favorite image viewer. On Windows a shell command consisting of the image filename would launch the associated application, on Linux it’s necessary to provide the name of the image viewer.

(defvar *image-app* nil) ;; set it to '("eog") or something (defun view-file-native (file) (let ((ns (uiop:native-namestring file))) (uiop:launch-program (if *image-app* (append *image-app* (list ns)) (uiop:escape-shell-token ns)))))

Note that uiop:launch-program is used instead of uiop:run-program. The difference is that launch- is non-blocking - you can continue to work in your REPL while the image is displayed, whereas run- will not return until you close the image viewer.

Also note that when the first argument to run/launch-program is a string, it is not escaped, so I have to do it manually. And if the first argument is a list, it must be a program and a list of its arguments, so merely using (list ns) wouldn't work on Windows.

Inline image in REPL

The disadvantage of the previous method is that the external program might steal focus, appear on top of your REPL and disrupt your workflow. And it’s well known that Emacs can do everything, including viewing images, so why not use that?

In fact, SLIME has a plugin specifically for displaying images in REPL, slime-media. However it's difficult to find any information on how to use it. Eventually I figured out that SWANK (SLIME's CL backend) needs to send an event :write-image with appropriate arguments and slime-media’s handler will display it right in the REPL. The easiest way is to just send the file path. The second argument is the resulting image’s string value. If you copy-paste (sorry, “kill-yank”) it in the repl, it would act just like if you typed this string.

(swank::send-to-emacs '(:write-image "/path/to/test.png" "test"))

You can even send raw image data using this method. I don’t have anything on hand to generate raw image data so here’s some code that reads from a file, converts it to a base64 string and sends it over SWANK.

(with-open-file (in "/path/to/test.png" :direction :input :element-type '(unsigned-byte 8)) (let* ((arr (make-array (file-length in) :element-type '(unsigned-byte 8))) (b64 (progn (read-sequence arr in) (cl-base64:usb8-array-to-base64-string arr)))) (swank::send-to-emacs `(:write-image ((:data ,b64 :type swank-io-package::png)) "12345"))))

Note that the first argument to :write-image must be a list with a single element, which is itself a plist containing :data and :type keys. :data must be a base64-encoded raw image data. :type must be a symbol in swank-io-package. It's not exactly convenient, so if you're going to use this functionality a helper function/macro might be necessary.

Image in a SLIME popup buffer

Inline images are not always convenient. They can't be resized, and will take up as much space as is necessary to display them. Meanwhile EMACS itself has a built-in image viewer (image-mode) which can fit images to width or height of a buffer. And SLIME has a concept of a "popup buffer" which is for example used by macroexpander (C-c C-m) to display the result of a macro expansion in a separate window.

Interestingly, slime-media.el defines an event :popup-buffer but it seems impossible to trigger it from SWANK. It is however a useful code reference for how to create the popup buffer in ELisp. This time we won't bother with "events" and just straight up execute some ELisp code using swank::eval-in-emacs. However by default, this feature is disabled on Emacs-side, so you'll have to set Emacs variable slime-enable-evaluate-in-emacs to t in order for this method to work.

Also Emacs must be compiled with ImageMagick for the resizing functionality to work.

Anyway, the code to view file in the popup buffer looks like this:

(defun view-file-slime (file &key (bufname "*image-viewer*")) (let ((ns (namestring file))) (swank::eval-in-emacs `(progn (slime-with-popup-buffer (,bufname :connection t :package t) (insert-image (create-image ,ns)) (image-mode) (setf buffer-file-name ,ns) (not-modified) (image-toggle-display-image)) ;; try to resize the image after the buffer is displayed (with-current-buffer ,bufname (image-toggle-display-image)))))) ))

Arriving to this solution has required reading image-mode's source code to understand what exactly makes image-mode behave just like if the image file was opened in Emacs via C-x C-f. First off, image-mode can be a major and a minor mode - and the minor mode is not nearly as useful. slime-with-popup-buffer has a :mode keyword argument but it would cause image-mode to be set before the image is inserted, and it will be a minor mode in this case! Therefore (image-mode) must be called after insert-image.

Next, the buffer must satisfy several conditions in order to get image data from the filename and not from the buffer itself. Technically it shouldn't be necessary, but I couldn't get auto resizing to work when data-p is true. So I set buffer-file-name to image's filename and set not-modified flag on.

Next, image-toggle-display-image is called to possibly resize the image according to image-mode settings. It’s called outside of slime-with-popup-buffer for the following reason: the buffer might not yet be visible and have any specific dimensions assigned to it, and therefore resizing will do nothing.

Here's an example of how calling this function looks in Emacs.

The position of the popup buffer depends on whether the original Emacs window is wide enough or not. I think it looks better when it's divided vertically. Use M-x image-transform-fit-to-height or M-x image-transform-fit-to-width to set up the auto-resizing method (it gets remembered for future images). Unfortunately there's no way to fit both height and width, at least with vanilla Emacs. I prefer fit-to-width because in case the image is too tall, it is possible to scroll the image vertically with M-PgDn and M-PgUp from the other buffer. Unlike other image-mode buffers, this buffer supports a shortcut q to close itself, as well as various SLIME shortcuts, for example C-c C-z to return to the REPL.

That’s it for now, hope you enjoyed this overview and if you happen to know a better way to display images in Emacs, I would be interested to hear about it.

#common lisp #emacs #lisp #programming

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insfiringyou · 6 years ago

Text

A change of plans (Suga x Jeong-sun)

Contains: Fluff. Angst. Sexual tension.

This is set post-military, a few days after Suga and Jeong-sun’s phone conversation in 2 Years Later: Part 2 where they arrange to meet for a coffee shop date. Jeong-sun is forced to cancel as she experiences an unexpected boiler leak in her apartment. Yoongi insists on helping and finds himself back in her apartment for the first time in three years. Mentioned in this fic is the marriage of another member to his headcanon girlfriend.

This is part of our headcanon universe (find out more about the ongoing plot and original characters etc. here) and is set three months after Yoongi finishes his military enlistment.

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM / Jin / Suga / J-Hope / Jimin / V / Jungkook & Our full masterlist can be found here

Content below cut

With a sideways glance at her bedside clock, she knew she simply couldn’ t wait any longer to call it off. The empty bucket under her boiler she had just swapped out was filling up with water quickly. One-handed, she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled up his number on her phone with a knot curling in her stomach. He answered on the third ring and Jeong-sun began to speak immediately, hurriedly, as though hoping this would lessen the guilt and disappointment that she felt.

“Yoongi, I’m sorry. I can’t make it.”

The panic in her voice made his stomach lurch uncomfortably. “Are you okay?”

“ There’s a leak…there’s water everywhere.” She said, quickly. “I’m running out of buckets. My landlord was supposed to come but he’s not shown up. ” She sounded out of breath, frantic as she dashed between her bedroom and the bathroom sink, tipping litres of water into the drain before rushing back to the spraying pipe with an empty container. There was an angry hiss in the background amidst the interference and her short breathing, making him frown.

“ Where’s the leak?” Yoongi said, his voice coming steadily through the receiver. He clutched his phone to his ear, pausing in the doorway of the coffee shop as he tried to hear her over the background noise. Too agitated to be at home, he had left his apartment early and had spent the last three-quarters of an hour smoking one cigarette slowly after the other. This did nothing to settle his nerves. He stubbed out the lit end against the mortar and brick edifice.

“ My boiler…it’s pissing water everywhere.” The tone of her voice was almost comical, but Yoongi did not laugh. Instead, he responded with a slightly flat inflexion that still managed to sound soft and soothing. “ Can you turn off the water supply?” “ How do I do that?” Came her voice at once. “There’s a handle inside the unit,” he explained. “…You have to turn it clockwise.”

There was quiet on the other end as Jeong-sun tried to locate the part that Yoongi had described. He waited patiently as the sound of her breathing disappeared and he realised she must have put her phone down to remove the metal panel that covered the cavity. He turned his head away from the speaker and coughed once, his chest feeling tight, but less so than it had been the past week. The medicine Jeong-sun had suggested had greatly improved the quality of his sleep in the last few nights, his only main complaint being the consistent burning sensation in his throat.

Her voice returned, a little more calmly. “Okay… I think I’ve got it. But it’s still leaking…” “There’s only so much water that can drain…you need to relieve the pressure valve too.” She didn’t question how he knew so much about this sort of thing, instead trying hard to listen to his instruction. Uncertainly, she continued. “There’s a red lever next to it.”

“Flip it up.”

“Alright….It’s slowing down a bit.” She sighed heavily. “Do you smell any gas?” Yoongi asked. “Should I?” The corners of his mouth twitched slightly. “No.” “Good.” Her relief was obvious. “I should have called you sooner.”

The words made his chest flutter pleasantly, inexplicably. Always independent and strong-minded, he knew Jeong-sun was perfectly capable of handling her own affairs and an expert in many things he was not. Yet he had the distinct impression that, despite their years apart, the fact remained that she was simply clueless when it came to the peculiarities of her run-down, old apartment. Though he would never mention it, he had spent countless evenings during his service trying to heat the dorm room with the help of an engineering major named Minhyuk. The boiler there had been equally old and battered, its loud clanks and bangs a regular and discordant sound in the dead silence of 3am. For reasons he’d never really explored, it had become a strange source of comfort in his otherwise bland and personality-free surroundings.

“Do you want me to come round?” Yoongi asked.

Jeong sun hesitated. The thought of him in her apartment seemed like a big step from the neutrality of a coffee shop. And, had she been honest, would have preferred it under different circumstances; not one where her flat looked like a scene from a low-rent Titanic. “What about the coffee?”

Yoongi paused too, catching the reserve in her voice and thought he could understand. However, he knew he could be of some help, and the thought of her without heat in the midst of winter weighed on his mind. “It can wait…your apartment will get freezing this time of year.”

She knew he was right. Her landlord, with more properties than he could handle, was not likely to be in a rush to repair the damage. And, given her heavily depleted paycheck, had already ruled out another emergency call out. “Do you mind?” She asked tentatively, realising she needed his help. “No. I’ll be there soon.”

Thanking him, she hung up and got from her knees and collected a stack of fluffy towels from the bathroom. On the other end of the line Yoongi exhaled, not sure how to feel as he slipped his phone into his back pocket. He felt sorry for her troubles, but there was an odd sense of relief too as his heart thumped steadily in his chest. In the back of his mind he couldn’t help but think that, were she had refused his help and suggested they rearranged for another day, the pressure to meet again would have been uncomfortable. With another small cough, he turned to the street signs around him and followed them dutifully into West Eunpyeon-gu.

* “Has it stopped?” Jeong-sun appeared from behind the door, clutching a large knitted cardigan around herself. He thought that she must have just put this on. His eyes lingered a fraction on the visible dark patches on the neckline of her blue shirt and the damp ends of her hair which had started to frizz. “ It’s still dripping. There’s a huge wet patch on the carpet.” She said, holding up a sodden towel. “I was trying to soak it with this. But I might not get my deposit back.”

He closed the door gently behind himself. He was surprised by how familiar it still seemed; from the pile of clothing on the threadbare sofa to the odd assortment of coloured mugs on her kitchen counter. She had evidently tried to update the decor by adding a feature wall and a few extra cushions that only seemed to add to the overall impression of chaos. Jeong-sun folded her arms, clutching herself tightly as she took him in properly. The way he looked made her ache. Unlike herself, he was beautifully put together in a thick woollen sweater and stone-washed denim jeans that hugged his thighs.

“How’s your patient?” He asked, trying to ease the thick air between them.

“Well , her arm is still broken. And she’s complaining that the cast is itchy.” She sighed. “I’ve given her a barbeque skewer. ” There was a lingering pause as they began to move automatically towards her bedroom, but neither broke it as she followed a few paces behind and hesitated in the doorway. There were more towels laid across the cream carpet, a variety of different buckets, jugs and saucepans scattered across the length of the room. Yoongi stepped carefully to the exposed boiler unit, moving a metal dish that had once been part of a rice-cooker to his right, and sank to his knees.

“I’m sorry about this…” Jeong-sun said after a few moments of silence, her voice small as he artfully rolled his long sleeves to his elbows.

Yoongi thought she sounded sad as she said this, her tone heavy with apology. “Don’t worry about it.” He reassured, his voice coming out deep, if a little hoarse. She returned his tentative smile, noticing the way his eyes flickered quickly away from her own.

“I’ll make some coffee.”

Grateful for something to do, she placed a cap of fresh grounds into the paper filter and flicked the switch. The machine hummed loudly as hot black liquid began to trickle into the glass jar, the steam fogging her thick-rimmed glasses. She wiped the lenses on her sleeve and balanced the frames back on her nose with a glance back to the bedroom door. Only the foot of her bed and the yellow glow of the lamp were visible, the rest bathed in shadow. The darkness shifted slightly as Yoongi brought his clenched fist to his lips and coughed. Carefully she poured the coffee into two mugs, adding two sugars and a little milk to her own. He looked up as she approached, settling the cup next to him on the carpet. He thanked her quietly but did not touch it, focused instead on the maze of plumbing in front of him.

Jeong-sun hovered, clutching her own mug with both hands. It felt gratifyingly warm between her numb fingers.“How are the others?”

“They’re not all out yet.” Yoongi replied, relieved that he didn’t need to explain further. “Jungkook’s working on a solo album and Jin’s married now.” “ Min-Seo?” She asked, eyebrows slightly raised. “Before he enlisted.” He confirmed. Now she thought about it, she began to recall the articles regarding the member, Yoongi’s elder by a few months, prior to the announcement of his military service. Vaguely she had known, yet instinctively she had shyed away from details, and so the news was both surprising and pleasant to hear.

“Are they happy?” Yoongi nodded, his tongue sliding absent-mindedly over the cracked skin of his bottom lip, not meeting her eyes. “They seem it.”

“That’s good. I always liked her.” She remembered Min-Seo well. Petite, dark haired and good-natured, the now married woman had always been gracious and sweet to her. Idly she wondered whether Min-Seo had ever mentioned her to her husband, having met her on several occasions, all of which had involved Yoongi in some way or another. Jeong-sun couldn’t help but recall that she had been one of the few people who had truly seen them as a couple. Trying not to think about the details, she was glad when he pressed on.

“And what about you?” He asked, seeming to know her train of thought on her furrowed brow. “I don’t get out much.” She confessed. “But Yu-Jin’s thinking of moving back to Seoul.” Yoongi cocked his head.“ Does she not like Beijing?” “ I think she just misses home.”

“I see.” He said, softly, and she knew that Yoongi would understand the feeling better than anyone. She took a large gulp from her mug, the bitter taste of the burnt grounds momentary as the sugar dissipated on her palate. Quietly she watched him work, and though she could not see his face, she could tell that he was frowning by the way his long fingers hesitated over the new, shiny copper pipe.

“Did someone try to repair it?” “ The boiler?” Yoongi grunted in reply. “This fitting is really loose…I don’t think it’s the right size.” “I called an emergency plumber a few days ago from the phone book…” She admitted with a frustrated, inwards groan. The repairman had been overly-quick to assure her that the problem was fixed before departing with the better part of her bank account. Now, she felt a little foolish. “That’s 300,00 won down the drain.” “I’ll sort it.” He said, simply, getting up from his knees as he held the small hollow piece in his palm. “I’ll need to get some new parts though. Is there a hardware store near here?”

Jeong-sun blinked, trying hard to remember the name of the worn-down storefront without success. “I think there’s one round the corner.” “Alright. I won’t be long.” He stood, collecting the thick jacket he had spread across the edge of her bed and shrugging it on.

She side-stepped a little to let him pass, unsure how to vocalise her gratitude. Softly, she said, “I’ll leave the door unlocked.” He nodded in response, his lips not quite turned up in a smile but nevertheless reassuring. Jeong-sun hadn’t realised how tense she had been until he was on the other side of the door, the sound of his footsteps ebbing away. The weight lifted almost immediately from her shoulders, her breathing much easier in his absence.

Somewhere in the last few years her heartache had dulled, but the fact that she cared deeply for him had never seemed to leave her. Their phone call earlier that week had brought back several memories, and her heart had thumped madly as she recalled the intensity with which she had fallen for him. She no longer remembered the plot of the play they had once seen; she only knew how giddy she had felt as their lips crashed together against a pillar in the theatre, and afterwards how sad she had been to be pulled away from him without a proper goodbye. It had surprisingly hurt, after so long, to remember why she had felt his proposal a few months after that accidental meeting had felt so wrong.

Eventually, Jeong-sun had come to realise that it wasn’t possible for them to be friends after all they had been through. They had been lovers from the very beginning. The coffee shop, she thought, was another chance. A fresh start. Were things not to work out, she would at least know, and be able to carry on without wondering what might have been. But for now, she didn’t know quite what she wanted.

Her gaze rested momentarily on the navy blue garment folded on the arm of the sofa before turning her attention to the chaos that was her apartment. She drained her coffee mug and rinsed it under the freezing cold tap. The soles of her polka-dot socks were soaking as she trod back and forth from the boiler to the sink, stacking the pots and pans haphazardly. With a little sigh, she reached for the hairdryer on her nightstand and slowly but methodically began to dry the waterlogged carpet, moving his still full cup a little to the side.

“I thought you’d made off with my….thingamajig.” Jeong-sun remarked, over an hour later, as she opened the door to let him in. Yoongi had knocked softly and waited patiently for her answer.

“I wouldn’t get much for it on the black market.” He replied, setting down a heavy plastic carrier bag on the floor next to the boiler with a distinct metallic clatter.

She thought he sounded a little raspy having come in from the cold, his pale cheeks reddened by the cool winter air. “I’m sure you could drive a hard bargain.” He smiled briefly and began to unpack the contents of the bag, extricating a little white box and fiddling for a moment with the casing. She watched him, her eyes lingering on his long fingers as he delicately inserted four triple-A’s into the back slot. “Did you get lost?”

“The hardware shop wasn’t well stocked. ” Yoongi said, in way of explanation, setting the blinking object down next to him.“But I managed to find everything in the end.”

Not knowing what else to say, a long silence proceeded as he quietly began to work. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but Jeong-sun couldn’t help but feel a little spare as she hovered behind him. It wasn’t an easy fix for sure. “I’m sorry.” She said, helplessly. “I’m not much use here.”

From the corner of his eye he saw her body shift, and he turned a little to see her sink back slowly against her headboard with a thick paper-back in one hand. She hugged herself, drawing the over-large cardigan closer to her. Yoongi couldn’t see her expression well in the glare of her spectacles which caught the warm glow of the lamp.

“What are you reading?” He asked, curious. He squinted, having left his own glasses on his desk and could vaguely make out a blurred figure from the black and white cover. “Atonement. It’s about a little girl who tells a lie and destroys her sister’s life.” He vaguely knew the title, suspecting like most of her books that it had been one that had been translated from English into Korean. “Are you enjoying it?” “I preferred the film.” “I haven’t seen it.” Yoongi replied honestly, and they naturally grew quiet once more with only the sound of the pages turning and a few intermittent clinks and clangs. Every so often she would look up over the pages of her book as he groaned and muttered under his breath, rubbing the back of his short hair for a moment before continuing with a fresh sense of determination. Jeong-sun couldn’t help but feel warm, and oddly tingly at the sight. Her most recent ex hadn’t many talents outside of his job, and she found herself strangely compelled by Min Yoongi’s cool expertise. Soon she rolled onto her side, lost herself in the chapter, and left him to work.

“I think I’ve done it.” He said finally, glancing at his Rolex. It’d taken the better part two hours, and the carbon monoxide alarm he had placed next to the unit had not made a single protest in that time. The boiler rattled into life as though it were an old man struggling to catch his breath, the loud wheezing of the copper piping filling the room. “It’s not a long term fix but it should work for now.”

Yoongi got up from his knees a little stiffly to reach for the outer casing before putting it gently back into place. His fingers left black smudges on the white aluminium, and he wiped them roughly on his jeans before picking up a cloth to clean up the surface.

“I think you missed your calling in life.” Jeong-sun said, impressed, turning the book face down on her duvet as she admired his handiwork. “Atleast I’ve always got something to fall back on.” A small, slightly embarrassed smile tugged his lips, making her heart stutter unexpectedly.

“Is the café still open?” She asked quickly, the hopeful tone of her question obvious. Yoongi shook his head regretfully. “It closed 30 minutes ago. I’m sorry it took so long.”

There was an awkward sort of pause, both unsure what the next step was. With a small oh, she pressed on. She looked a little guiltily at the black grease marks on his thighs. “We’re not really dressed for it anyway. I hope your jeans weren’t expensive.” “They were on sale…” He said easily. It was probably true, Jeong-sun thought.

Realising that their time together was drawing to a close, she shifted uncomfortably as he began to collect together the contents of the plastic bag on the floor. The sense of panic that overtook her was unexpected, and she felt the words tumble out of her mouth before she had time to think about what she was going to say.

“I was going to get changed before we went out….” Jeong-sun rambled, not knowing why she was telling him this. Yoongi paused, listening patiently, his expression unreadable as he watched her speak. His gaze made her suddenly nervous. “I bought a new dress.”

She cringed slightly at the admission, and at the pause which followed. A small frown crossed Yoongi’s brow at the change in her voice, his tongue sliding habitually over his chapped lips before he spoke. “Can I see?”

For a moment, he thought she was going to refuse as she met his eyes with ones that were wide and bright. His stomach lurched unpleasantly as he wondered whether he had overstepped a line. He was relieved however, when she nodded with a tiny, half-smile and left the room.

The dress had been an afterthought, a spontaneous purchase the day following their phone conversation. On her way home from work, her hands laden with shopping bags full of her weekly groceries, she had detoured into a little boutique just off the high street. The sales assistant had asked her if she was looking for anything in particular, and Jeong-sun had shook her head truthfully as she searched through the racks. That afternoon at the pharmacy had been painfully slow, leaving her with too much time to think. Whilst re-ordering the children’s medicine that she had dropped two days before, her mind had began to wander so much that she hadn’t realised she had ordered 2000 cases of the stuff. A very confused salesperson from the supplier chain had called to confirm the order, to which Jeong-sun had been mortified to admit had been a mistake.

She found the dress where she had left it on the arm of the sofa, immaculately ironed, and carefully removed the sales tags. Knowing that Yoongi wouldn’t interrupt her, she began to undress down to her simple black bra and underwear and stepped into the material, sliding it over her wide hips. She spent a long time adjusting the straps of bra underneath the shoulders, teasing the knots at the ends of her hair and sweeping it into a loose bun at the back of her head.

When she peered around the doorway, she found him deftly positioning the monoxide alarm just below the unit, a cloth in his hands as he attempted to remove the limescale on the pipework beneath. He didn’t look up, and she stepped a little further into the room by the edge of her bed, her heart racing a little at the chilly breeze on her bare legs.

“Yoongi..” “Mmm?” He turned his head the delicate, appealing sound of his name, his chest contracting tightly as he admired her with parted lips. The navy blue tea-dress would have been modest on a slimmer figure, but Jeong-sun’s curves filled the garment beautifully. Her waist was perhaps a little thicker than it once had been, and her thighs were fleshier too, exaggerating her already hourglass figure. The V-neck drew particular attention to the space between her breasts, a few freckles dotted in the crevice of her cleavage. The shape of her was incredibly attractive, womanly, and Yoongi couldn’t help but think that he had never seen her look more beautiful. Heart thumping madly, he struggled to find the right words, feeling extremely tongue-tied. Jeong-sun felt a hot blush colour her face too as she met the unmistakable look in his dark eyes. She had seen it there many times before and the familiarity of it brought a strong throbbing pulse between her thighs. It was desire, and every inch of her body burned as he looked at her hungrily.

Yoongi shifted from his knees to stand shakily, but a soft tinkle of ceramic tore their eyes away from each other. The ice-cold, black liquid was spreading over the cream carpet, and they both stared a little perplexed until they realised that it had been the coffee that Jeong-sun had prepared several hours before. Yoongi had forgotten all about it.

“Do you know how long it took me to dry that?” She groaned, exasperatedly gesturing to her ruined carpet. She laughed despite this, her chest aching with the effort it took to bring her giggles under control. Yoongi smiled nervously, his own blush still colouring his pale cheeks as he sank back to his knees and upturned the mug, though the damage had already been done. “That would explain the hairdryer.”

The sound of her laughter warmed him, and she hiccupped once as she tried to bring it under control. She leaned over to the wash basket by the bathroom and extricated a damp towel. Yoongi couldn’t help but notice the visible band of her bra between her cleavage as she got to her knees to soak the coffee from her already done-for carpet, looking away quickly.

“Careful.” He warned, moving the hem of her dress delicately away from the patch of coffee.

“Thank you.” Jeong-sun breathed, tucking the fabric between her thighs as she pressed the towel repeatedly to the floor. He couldn’t help but smile back at her. “Did you want another?” She gestured to the untouched coffee mug, her cheeks glowing warmly as she met his eyes. The thought was undeniably tempting. Desperately he wanted to stay, yet he was far too aware that doing so would be a mistake. Their exchange had been dangerously close to escalating already, and he was, in reflection, glad that the tension had been diffused. This time he wanted it to be different. He wanted to get to know her, to fall for her all over again. Whether she wanted the same, he wasn’t sure, and did not ask.

“I’d better not.” He replied, voice slow and steady. Jeong-sun got to her feet, a little deflated by his answer. She knew it was probably best. When she continued, she sounded a lot more like her usual self as she reached for the copy of Atonement laying spread-eagled on her bed.

“Yeah. I’d like to finish this chapter anyway. I’ll pay you… for the parts.”

It took Yoongi a fraction to understand what she had meant.

“It’s okay.” He said, after a moment, his chest fluttering slightly as she removed her glasses and rubbed the indent they had left on the bridge of her nose. “But the coffee is on you next time.”

Jeong-sun’s lips turned up in a sweet, but challenging sort of smile. “….Deal.” He collected his jacket, feeling so elated that he had to turn slightly away as he fastened the collar to disguise a shy, gummy grin. Warmer than he had ever felt in his life, coat or no coat, he walked slowly to the door with her footsteps clearly audible behind him. She hesitated, as though wanting to say something, and he tried hard not to dissuade her. However, she seemed to have lost the thought as he saw it growing smaller in her eyes. She had put the cardigan back on; evidently, the dress had been out of season when she had purchased it.

“You look really nice.” He purred, as an afterthought, the sound of it resonating in Jeong-sun’s ears and making her skin prickle pleasantly. “I’ll save it for another time. Goodnight Yoongi.”

“Goodnight.”

She closed the door gently behind him, sinking back against the door with her head between her hands. Her face felt incredibly hot, and she realised, wet, as a tear slipped down her cheek.

Yoongi, the only man she had truly loved, was really back.

***

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leoninapelliolovesconchitawurst · 5 years ago

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ENGLISH TRANSLATION ( Jeannette Nobbe)

VOLSKRANT.NL 31/01/20

by Mennon Pot

https://www.volkskrant.nl/cultuur-media/conchita-wurst-sorry-dat-ik-zo-n-wandelend-cliche-ben~b0477817/

(Conchita) Wurst: 'I'm sorry I'm a walking cliché'.

Above all we know Conchita Wurst as the bearded 'female 'singer who won the ESC in 2014. But we've moved on and are a bit wiser. It´s just Wurst now, but the beard is still there.

With light feathered steps, Thomas Neuwirth (31) enters the conference room of the hotel in Groningen where he is staying: black combat boots, black leather pants, tight black T-shirt, the black beard and the perfect short trimmed jet black hair..

He introduces himself as Tom. It's not difficult to recognise the bearded drag queen Conchita in him. (Kopenhagen, 2014, remember?) but the dress and wig are stowed away for a while. Conchita has a sort of sabbatical, so to speak.

Neuwirth is on tour as a man. Stage name: Wurst. Yesterday evening he performed in Groningen; the next concert will be 7 february at the Melkweg in Amsterdam. His new album 'Truth over Magnitude' also carries the artist´s name Wurst.

Let's get this straight: when the subject is Conchita Wurst, the word 'transgender' sometimes comes a long. Wrongly. Neuwirth is a man, ('but incredibly gay, of course'), who has a choice from now on: being on tour as a drag queen (Conchita) or as a man (Wurst) .

´a lot of fun, being a masculine stage persona', he says. Conchita will turn up again somewhere else.

Holland appreciated Conchita's 'Rise like a Phoenix' with the highest score, almost 6 years ago.

Neuwirth didn't forget: twelve points, douze points from Holland for the bearded diva from Austria.

Then hectic years followed. 'After the Song Contest I thought, I have to make the most of it now, build my fame and cash it in. So I surrounded myself with all kinds of experts, managers, stylists, make/up artists, the whole circus. After 3 years I was exhausted. I couldn´t do it anymore. I told my audience every nigh, be yourself, believe in yourself. But along the way, I forgot myself.´

He got rid of the experts’ circus and is having a relaxed tour now, with a small entourage. He feels good again, although in 2018 he had to announce he is infected with the HIV virus. His manager politely asks, almost in an humble manner, not to talk about that.

Tom doesn´t appear to be very worried about that. There has seldom been a star who starts an interview so cheerfully. ´A great photo shoot and after that talk about things I find beautiful and fun.

Terrific, I was already looking forward to it when I came out of bed.´

´Curriculum Vitae'

1988 – Born as Thomas Neuwirth in Gmunden, Austria

2007 – Candidate at the talentshow Starmania, and boyband Jetzt anders!

2011 – Debut as female persona Conchita Wurst, the debut single `I´ll be there´

2012 - Second place at the Austrian Songfestival

2014 – ESC winner with ´Rise like a Phoenix

2015 – First album ´Conchita´, co-presenter ESC

2018 – Second album ´From Vienna with Love´

2019 – Debut as male stage persona ´Wurst´, third album ´Truth over Magnitude´

2020 – Wurst ´Trust over Magnitude´ Sony Music

Wurst will be performing in the Melkweg in Amsterdam on February 7

SOUNDTRACK

Music from the Motion Picture Titanic ...1997

´My first CD. I was 9 years old when I bought it. `My heart will go on´’changed my life´. As it were, Céline Dion gave me permission to be utterly dramatic and to be over the top. When I came out of the closet, I heard that song in my head.

It was also a liberation for me as a singer. My mom always sang with a thin, high falsetto voice. I thought that was how it should be. Dion taught me, you may yell as hard as you can, with all the power you have in you. When you sing so loud, you can’t fake it. The sound you push out of your body, is the sound of your body, unique and by definition authentic. Céline Dion taught me that singing is something really physical.´

SERIES

The Crown ..Netflix..., 2016 until 2019

´For me it´s getting difficult to watch a movie to the end. I guess that´s because of all the series on Netflix and HBO. My favorite is `The Crown´.. ´the intro alone is so beautiful, that liquid gold that forms a crown, such art. I used to watch it twice. Ít says something about the fact that I can´t choose between the two women who play Elizabeth and the two men who play prince Philip. All the actors are great. The costumes, the stories, the palaces, it´s so delightful. The history also intrigues me, after every episode I checked on Wikipedia if it was really what had happened.

PARTIES

´At Christmas I always come back to Vienna. I love the lights, glitters and decorations, my inner Mariah Carey is looking forward to it every year. Christmas 2019 was extra special because it had been a long time since the whole family came together at my grandmother´s house.´

I would love it to be like that every year... A couple of days being together in one home. Talking, getting to really know my family. Maybe now you think, days on and on with uncles and aunts, such horror! It is easy to say that I don´t really have much in common with these people. But I do, Really. They all have a story and similarities with your stories. Ask them about your life and tell them about yours.´

That´s what Christmas is all about to me. To me, the birth of Jesus has not that much to do with it.´

ISLAND..

I have an agreement with my best friends to go on vacation at least once every two years. We have been to Mykonos a couple of times, THE especially gay island. I´m sorry I sound like a walking cliché.´

The sun, the sea, the beaches, the small streets, so cosy. We rent a house with a pool and for a week or two we live in our own little paradise, actually being a bit tipsy the whole time. Go shopping and cook.´

`What´s also very important, on Mykomos, the wind is always blowing the right way. I love to watch the women, because their dresses and their hair flutter so beautifully.´

STYLE ICON

Victoria Beckham

I was and still am a big Spice Girls fan and I especially admire Victoria Beckham, because she lives her life the way she wants. She appears in tabloids every day, but has survived a crisis in her relationship and has stayed happy with the love of her life and her family. I think that it´s really strong.´

In regard to her style, she can go from very classy to very trashy, I like that. One day she´s wearing a designer dress, the next she and David Beckham are walking in identical jogging suits. She couldn’t care less. I think that it´s inspiring.´

´I think she is utterly authentic, raging through the glamour. Although I have never met her, I´m sure that I could have a lot of fun with her. I´d love to drink some tequila with her for an afternoon or so.´

AGE

´I thought becoming 30 was really special, I lost my wild behaviour, came to be more restful. Some way or another I think a lot about some things my mother said: in my twenties, I ignored those lessons, but now I´m 30, I suddenly realised she was right for example how important family and friends are.

I´m 31 now, I have inner peace and my life in order, but I still feel young. I´m convinced that this the best period of my life´. My advise to everybody... be 30.´

ALBUM

Recomposed by Max Richter / The Four Seasons ..2012

I don´t play any instruments and until not too long ago, I didn´t really know much about music. I really found that a pity sometimes. Fortunately, my good friend Martin studies at the School of Musical Arts... !! He´s studying the history of music intensely and tells me about a lot of great composers. I learn a lot from that.´´I never understood classical music and didn´t really know anything about it, but thanks to the listening sessions with Martin I fell in love with Vivaldi..

The pop artist of the classical artists.

´Max Richter interpreted Vivaldi´s Four Seasons and composed it in a modern fashion. It´s a modern, post minimalistic piece, completely different from the original one, but you still recognise it. Greatly done, at the moment it´s my favorite album.´

BOOK

Friedrich Schiller « Ueber die aesthetische Erziehung des Menschen ». About the aesthetic upbringing of the people..´

´A good friend advised me to read the philosophical letters from Friedrich Schiller ..Letters, 1794-1795)

That´s a hard job to do. Because of the old fashioned German I had to read some sentences 5 times. You always have to wrestle yourself through a thick layer of 18th century sexism.

´But further on you´ll find something beautiful. Schiller writes a lot about finding your inner beauty and your own truth. Dare to be yourself. Embrace your darker sides. Those are important as well.´

´At the same time he preaches self-perspective.. don´t take yourself too seriously, you´re not the center of the universe. That is very worthy to me. Namely because I DO think I´m the center of the universe, haha.

`Still it´s very wise of him, to send a message from 1795 to a 21st century queen with a Mariah Carey complex.´

CLUB

Circus in Vienna

´The Arena is a huge complex in Vienna, a concert building with a mega discotheque. A couple of times a year they organize Circus, my favorite gay club night. I always go there with my group of closest friends, but it´s actually a bit of a rule that we lose each other and disappear into the crowd.´

´I roam around all night- Every room, every floor has its own musical theme and decoration. I love the types of people I meet there, their clothes, their fetishisms, everything.´

….Arena Vienna, Baumgasse 80, Vienna

CITY

Amsterdam

´I live in Vienna, I love Vienna and I will always come back there, but the greatest city I´ve been to is Amsterdam – since then I traveled all over the world so I know what I´m talking about.

´Of all the cities I visited, Amsterdam is the only one where I would want to live a period of time. So that´s what I´m gonna do, this summer, for a few months to begin with.´

´I can see that Amsterdam also has the flagship stores from all known store chains. And a lot of tourists, like every special city. But I see all these small jewelry shops where they sell their self-made jewelry. Little bakeries. Cosy streets. And a lot of water. I love water. I love cities with lots of water.´

#conchitawurst #wurst #tomneuwirth #artist #singer #esc2014 #escwinner #music #performer #lgbt #celebrity #interview #translation

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fly-pow-bye · 6 years ago

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DuckTales 2017 - The Shorts!

Finally, I decided to talk about these.

PPG 2016 isn't the only reboot to have net-exclusive shorts, as Disney's YouTube channel had several DuckTales shorts across its first season.

Welcome to Duckberg!

A few months before the premiere of DuckTales 2017, Disney released these shorts to introduce everyone to the citizens of Duckberg. Namely, it focuses on the inhabits of the McDuck Manor. Most of these are just one joke premises, which is fitting because they aren't even a minute long.

For example, here's one where Webby is sneaking around in a dark place, aiming for some sort of ancient artifact with her various gadgets. This was online before the very first episode, so this is actually our first look at the new Webby. No longer is she just the "little girl" of the group; she seems to be a spy in training with her night vision goggles, her glowstick, and her grappling hook!

This ancient artifact turns out to be a cookie jar, and the only cookie left is one of the common yuck cookies: oatmeal raisin. Hey, I'd eat it. Dewey shows up specifically to tell Webby that he's eating the last chocolate chip. That's kind of mean.

Then this happens. Yeah, that doesn't look like anger, it looks more like demonic possession. There's a similar short with the new Mrs. Beakley, where she easily takes care of a ghost that the boys were struggling with. It makes sense, as these characters have huge changes from the classic DuckTales. They might as well show them off.

There's a Huey short, featuring a character that looks a lot like the Tenderfeet. Thankfully, he doesn't talk or do any "devil in plain sight" gags, he's just here to show off that Huey is the one that reads that Junior Woodchuck Guidebook the most. Definitely his best performance, but that isn't saying a lot.

There's no real Dewey-focused short beyond his appearance in the Webby short. There is kind of a Louie short, involving a "time machine" that, oddly enough, works exactly like the time machine in that one episode of the other reboot. Thankfully, this reboot only made it a minute long short, and it works okay.

The biggest highlight is this short with Launchpad McQuack, and it's completely fitting of his character. I don't even want to talk about it; it would ruin the magic of watching the actual short.

There's also one for Donald Duck's years-not-shown birthday, which oddly wasn't included in the compilation. This is a shame, because it's a decent joke. Again, it's just the one, and it's not as good as the Launchpad one. Then again, very few things are.

The next series of shorts is a lot more interesting, as they all fit together into one short, released in minute-long chunks throughout a month. Fittingly enough, it happens to be called...

The World’s Longest Deathtrap!

The episode begins with Webby landing in the titular deathtrap, with Dewey. I guess they felt sorry that he didn't get a short of his own, since we get a lot more Dewey here.

Unfortunately, due to Dewey not being too bright, he presses a button that causes the deathtrap to activate, causing the walls to very slowly close in on them. Webby theorizes that this deathtrap has aged very poorly over the centuries it existed.

When I saw these pop up on YouTube, I was thinking this was just a joke video with nothing really happening. This couldn't be further from the truth. One part is pretty much entirely "Launchpad doesn't know how to rescue people from a hole", and it's absolutely hilarious.

Eventually, everyone except for Scrooge, who is absent entirely from these series of shorts, ends up in the deathtrap. They keep unintentionally activating even more traps, before Huey drops in and tries to use his Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to help out. In a way, it worked. How? Watch to find out.

I would not be surprised if this short started out as either a scene in an episode or a whole episode in itself, but they either felt it was too throwaway, or that they ran out of ideas. It's a good watch.

Dewey Dew-Night!

Aw, yeah. The talk show introduced in Day of the Only Child gets its first big expansion here. The main plot is that Dewey wants his talk show to become popular on the internet, so he tries his best to get the best guests, the best sketches, and the best Dewey he can muster to get those sweet sweet thumbs ups. It's just as funny as it was in Day of the Only Child, though I do wish those cardboard cutouts returned.

The first short focuses on Webby. It's sort of funny in that everything is just awkward, as if he's making this all up as he goes along. Fitting!

They're still trying to make Manny the Headless Horse a thing. Maybe there's some people who really like him, but I found him more of an "eh" character. Dewey doesn't seem to like him either; his original guest was supposed to be Scrooge McDuck. Unfortunately, he decided Dewey Dew-Night was well below him, much to Dewey's derision. Whether it was unfortunate for Dewey or Scrooge is pretty obvious.

He even tries to do segments, like "Will It Crash?", an parody of "Will It Blend?" Dewey apparently never realized that ship has sailed almost a decade ago, even if Launchpad is the highlight of all of these shorts. That is an accomplishment, actually, this series and the deathtrap one could work as B-plots.

Unfortunately, none of this seems to get him the audience he so desperately craves. He even keeps pointing towards his likes and dislikes, which eventually skews slightly towards the latter. He seems to blame his audience for this, but he understands. He decides to try to go on a unicycle and jump over a cat. A real cat, by the way; I can’t help but notice when they use non-anthropomorphic animals.

Unfortunately, any attempt to actually finish this stunt was ruined because the rest of the boys were tired. There is a hidden joke here, where Dewey thinks that because it's a late night talk show, it's supposed to be filmed at night, too. If only he knew.

Oh, and there's this really good running gag with Glomgold throughout this entire series of shorts.

Dewey: Apologies to Flintheart Glomgold, who had to be bumped.

Glomgold: (off-screen) WHAT?!

I like how it is implied that Glomgold successfully infiltrated the McDuck Mansion, but just can't wait to be on this completely legitimate talk show. Best of all, it has an actual payoff. All in all, a great way to use the format.

There are a few other shorts, but there's not much to say about them. There's Webby Reacts, a series where Webby Vanderquack does an in-character reaction to various Disney Channel programs. It did remind me of the very short lived revival of Beavis and Butt-Head, where they had segments where they talked over MTV's other programming.

The other is DuckFAILS, which is just the nephews, the honorary niece, and Launchpad failing to do things in glorious stop motion. I guess Scrooge McDuck had a "no failing" clause. I can't insult the amount of time it would take to make these, and this seems like something that would be fun to see between shows.

I'm sad that they didn't do anything like this to tide us over during this current hiatus...but I guess that's what I'm doing, at least.

← What Ever Happened To Della Duck?! 🦆 Treasure of the Found Lamp! →

#fpb dt 2017 #ducktales 2017 #ducktales #disney

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pffbts · 6 years ago

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[05:44 PM] from jin

―time travelling with me would include extra snacks in my side bag, a tube of mint flavoured toothpaste, and a bunch of Polaroid pictures. although crazy it might sound but i like to click pictures of you whenever you`re in an awkward posture like that one time you were tying your shoelace and i had bent down, twisting myself like an alien and clicked your flushed face while you struggled to keep the shoelace incorrect loops or maybe when you dropped your ice-cream on your shirt and had tried to lick the melted chocolate off your wrist i had clicked it out of nowhere.

i will take to you to the mountain, i will absolutely take you to the sea; will let you meet with the ancient literature authors that you adore. i`ll give you that extra time to collect the seashells that the lapping waves are trying to wash away. i`ll go out of my way to give you those things that you never got in your life. i`ll show you how it was like before people turned into machines and machines into humans. i`ll show you the ways those flowers used to bloom in their own natural way and not by the modern catalyst. i`ll show you the night sky that was once filled with blinking stars and you`ll find your grandmother in one of them and for once you`ll be able to see the evening star. i`ll show you the sea that has turned into a desert in this modern world. i`ll take your palm into mine, brush off the unseen dust and with that, the pain running through your vein – i`ll take in everything. and, when you`ll wake up, it`ll feel like a dreamboat, a déjà vu when you`ll find a guy with broad shoulder, nicely combed hair, plump lips and soft blinking eyes on the street. you`ll for once go out for him, tell him that you`ve seen him somewhere and that boy will just blink at you with open mouth.

it will all be a dream. i will be a dream coming true. you`ll run to your place and throw yourself on your bed and try to sleep and once again, you`ll see me. you`ll see me in front of a pyramid and you`ll run, run so fast that your feet will hurt when you`ll stand in front of me and i will say, “i`m sorry i couldn`t talk to you in front of that shop. i didn`t want anyone to come into our own world. a world where only we both exist.”

delivered.

original post

#bts #bts fanfics #bts fanfictions #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts text posts #bts letters #jin #kim seokjin #seokjin #bts jin #jin fanfics #jin imagines #jin reactions #jin letters #jin text posts #daily posting jin spam #happy birthday jin

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poolealex1993-blog · 4 years ago

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pancakecakes · 7 years ago

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Beautiful Mistakes.

You can read it here: AO3

Chapters (Tumblr) : | 1 | 2 | 3 |

Summary: Marinette has a habit of sending asks to her favorite Tumblr user, telling him seeing his blog makes her happy, and that she’s glad he’s alive. It’s been a while for now and people have started to ship them, even though Marinette has never had the courage to reveal her true identity. One day, she forgets to switch to anonymous and sends one of her usual asks.

Tags: Ladynoir, Adrinette, fluff, Tumblr AU, Crush, Platonic Love.

Chapter 2: Mysterious Lady.

It had to be destiny, or a beautiful mistake, as Adrien liked to see it.

Have you ever had the need to go back as far as you can into the past to try and find the very exact moment when everything started?

Adrien felt it, as strong as the strength of the first love made him feel it. He was disappointed when he noticed his lady started to use her identity as Ladybug after she sent her first messages.

In fact, it seemed like she had sent several messages to him before using her usual ladybug emoji to distinct herself from other anons. He went a couple of months back and the first message he found with the ladybug emoji was this one:

Anonymous said:

Hello, my kitty! It’s been a couple of days since my last ask. From the text post you shared earlier, I think what I like the most about you, is how sweet you are with everyone. And, a friend shared some of your posts some time ago and I loved your blog and immediately started following you! That’s how I found you. Sometimes I think it was destiny, and some other times I think it was a beautiful mistake, because now I can’t stop coming to your blog every day. Have a wonderful day tomorrow! -LB.

A beautiful mistake. It was Ladybug’s words, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew even though Ladybug used the word “mistake” she didn’t mean it in a negative way.

He scrolled even further into the past. He was used to get several asks every day, so he wasn’t completely sure what anon was originally his sweet Ladybug. Maybe he’d never know, at least not if he never managed to discover Ladybug’s real identity.

He chose some messages and decided to believe those were the first messages Ladybug sent him, but at the same time he felt he needed to know the exact moment and the exact messages she really sent him.

He had been on Tumblr for almost five years. He used it to distract himself from the monotonous life he had. Every time he would feel sad or bored, he would log in and laugh at vines, memes and text posts. He’d also share some love related content, and some personal text posts.

He’d wake up pretty early in the morning. Natalie, after making sure he was ready, would start reading the schedule for that day. Sometimes it’d be a photoshoot, a formal event, lunch with older people or other boring activities.

He had always been home-schooled. He had to practice piano at least one hour and a half a day, study his subjects and practice his Chinese and sgrima. His life was really interesting from the outside, and he loved to do every single thing he practiced, but he still felt somewhat empty. Something was missing from his life, and excitement soon abandoned him as he started to grow up and everything kept unchanged.

This excitement was recovered when Ladybug appeared in his life.

He would excitedly wait every night for Ladybug´s anonymous message wishing him luck next day. This was something new to him, and he knew it; it had to be love.

Love takes time and boy, Adrien spent more than a year and a half crushing on a mysterious lady.

First, he felt a warm sensation when Ladybug started to message him every day. He started to feel like he belonged somewhere. Then he started to feel hot every time Ladybug shared something about her daily life, such as photos or videos.

Thanks to the videos and photos he knew Ladybug was living in Paris, but it was impossible for him to find her with so little information and vague hints.

He would try his hardest to visit the places where Ladybug was when she took some of the photos and videos. It made him feel even closer to her, and he kept hoping he might see her someday.

Anyway, doing so was hard. His father was really strict with his time outside the house, but Natalie would let him make small get aways into some coffee shops and some restaurants from time to time. Natalie was always like this, she always did her best to make him smile, even if it was just a little.

Maybe he never got the chance to run into Ladybug in person, but he knew that whenever he stared at the sky, Ladybug could be staring at it too somewhere not so far away, and that thought made him keep his hopes up.

He tried to find her several times. He once typed “Ladybug” on Tumblr´s tags and the top blog was the famous “Fashion Princess”, a girl who was popular on Tumblr for her excellent taste in clothes and her enormous talent as a young fashion designer. He knew the name of the girl because she had the opportunity to work for his father after she won a contest. Her name was Marinette.

He and his father were really surprised when Natalie told them the winner was a girl with the same age as Adrien. He’d never forget her name, he admired her in many ways even though they haven’t had the chance to meet in person.

Despite the possibility of his lady being the Fashion Princess—because she followed him and sometimes she liked some of his posts, he decided to drop it. He shouldn’t project his desires to find her into a famous fashion girl on Tumblr, no matter how much he admired her.

He was really close to message her though. For a couple of days, he was tempted to do it, but he would always give up before actually doing it.

He was sure his lady could be famous, but at the same time he knew she was a normal girl with normal hobbies and the sensation he felt whenever he thought of her was the same he felt when his mother was still around; the feeling of being in home, the feeling of being happy and not alone. Ladybug was a normal person, not someone unapproachable or some kind of Goddess.

Well, she was kind of unapproachable with all the anonymous situation, but she was the cutest and sweetest girl Adrien knew- well, kind of knew. After one year of answering her anonymous messages every day, Adrien was completely sure he loved that girl, it didn’t matter how she looked or who she was in real life when she was not protected by the anonymous mask.

It was a complicated feeling. He knew he loved her, but he fell for her without even knowing her real name, how her face looked and knowing just too little about her real self.

For him it wasn’t that strange, but he knew people would think he was strange. Deep inside he knew he didn’t care too much about other people’s opinion, but what if Ladybug thought he was strange because he fell in love with her under the current situation? He would absolutely care if it was the case.

He decided to ignore it- at least most of the times. He wanted to know her blog so bad, it was super unfair, Ladybug got to see his blog but he couldn´t see anything from her but the things she sent.

Not that he was being ungrateful since Ladybug sent pictures, videos and text posts quite often during the day, but as the time passed, he felt it wasn’t enough. He wanted to know her, to truly know her. He wanted to have private conversations, know her dreams, fears and all the things she hid from everyone else. The things she was afraid to say aloud, those private things that are shared only with your closest acquittances.

He was looking for a deeper connection. He wanted to be the closest friend with the person who made him this happy and excited about everything again.

Being the closest friend didn’t mean spend all their time together, but to know each other so well that even when they were apart, he could truly understand her and support her the way she needed and deserved. It also meant for him to close his eyes and know deep down in his heart Ladybug trusted him the way he trusted her.

Adrien had the fear that someday Ladybug would disappear from his life without a notice, and it didn’t look so impossible since his luck had never been so good.

He knew he would be really sad, and he knew it would be impossible from him to truly forget her, but at the same time he knew his life wouldn’t stop if she wasn’t there.

Is this how love feels? She made him feel powerful, and the thought of losing her made him sad, but not helplessly lost. Even if Ladybug had to go away from his life someday, he would treasure every memory and everything she ever did for him, and live his life the best he could. Just like he did when his mother…

It’s true Adrien thought it wasn’t enough, but oh, it was perfect even in its imperfection. It was worth it, it was comforting. She was home.

“Hello?” Adrien asked as he picked up an unknown call. He never gave his personal number to anyone, and he didn’t have much friends. He wasn’t sure what to expect from it.

“Hello, Chat Noir” The mysterious voice said.

Adrien froze. First of all, he was pretty sure no one knew about his Tumblr. Second, it was the voice of a girl, and since he didn’t have her number saved, it could be anyone but someone he knew. Before he had the opportunity to say anything, the girl laughed.

“I’m sorry, my name is Alya. Do you remember me? I had an interview with you some months ago. You game me your personal number because we spoke a bit afterwards. I never called you until now”.

He sighed in relief. Alya, he remembered her. She was the leader of the Ladyblog, a fan club of people loving the idea of him and Ladybug being a thing. He met her before Ladybug came into his life, but he had some interviews with her afterwards.

The last time they saw each other, he admitted being Chat Noir and that he was deeply in love with Ladybug. Alya told him that she would do anything to find her, and if that day arrived she would tell him right away. He then gave her his personal phone number and then eventually forgot about it.

“Oh yeah, I remember you. I’m sorry” Adrien giggled “you surprised me”.

“Wait for it boy, I haven’t even said anything”.

Adrien’s heart skipped a beat. He remembered what Alya said the last time he saw her, that she would call him once she found out Ladybug’s identity. He tried not choke and tried to breathe normally.

“What do you mean?”.

“Well, let’s just say I just got home after a date with your mysterious lady”.

Adrien’s cheeks felt hot.

He waited for this moment for months. At the same time, he felt bad about it because he knew Ladybug was against revealing her identity, and he would prefer if she personally told him. He also felt a little jealous, how many people out there knew Ladybug’s real identity?

“To be honest, I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone about this” Alya said in a disappointed tone “but I wanted to tell you that she is closer than you think. And who knows, maybe someday she will agree to tell you who she is”.

This felt right. Yeah, life is never easy with the things that are worth fighting and waiting for, and he would wait years for her. Still, the sound of disappointment in his voice was impossible to hide.

“I know she is, and I’d wait the time it takes for her to trust me enough, it doesn’t matter if it’s a thousand years” Adrien laughed. It was a nervous laugh, but at the same time a sincere one.

Alya laughed and then said in a sweet tone “Oh, I think she trusts you. Just give her time. I’ve got the feeling she just don’t want to mess things up. This is as important to her as it is for you.”

“You really think so?” his voice sounded more excited than he wanted it to sound.

“Yes, I’m sure of it.”

“But how can you be so sure?”

“There are times when you just know.”

Yeah, she was right, there are time when you just know.

Ten months passed really fast. His relationship with Ladybug flourished into a really close and beautiful relationship. They’d now do more things together, and Ladybug was now part of his blog.

He was no longer afraid of she leaving him.

At this point, she being there for him was something normal, just as natural as breathing. He always kept the hope of someday meeting her in real life, but at the same time it finally felt enough. Or at least that’s how he felt in that moment, he was also afraid that once he met her, he would never get enough of spending time with her, but for now, just the presence of Ladybug in his life was enough.

And now, there was this new fear that would haunt him a couple of times every month. What if they didn’t get along in real life? Adrien had read a lot of text posts of people telling their experience of knowing people online and then after meeting in real life, realizing it was not the same.

Again, he tried to avoid thinking about it. There was no use of worrying about such things.

Things would be the way they had to be.

From a couple of months Ladybug had been joking about revealing their identity. He knew this could be she trying to get used to the idea of revealing her true identity. He just needed to be a little more patient. He was so close to know her, to really know her.

One day, at an event Chloé’s father held, Adrien had too many canapes and glasses of wine.

To tell you the truth, he just wanted to avoid talking too much with Chloé. The last time they spent the evening together, she almost discovered his Tumblr. Chloé was pissed because he was smiling while replying a message from Ladybug. When she asked what was he doing, he panicked and hide his phone.

Chloé tried to steal his phone, but failed. Her anger didn’t fade though, and he was sure she would try to steal his phone if she had the chance, so he stopped using his phone around her.

Eventually Chloé had to spend some time with other guests and he used his time alone to reply to some messages Ladybug left during his time in the presence of Chloé. Up until that point of the evening, he had been eating and drinking non-stop, so he just realized how tipsy he was. He drank more that he was allowed to, that was for sure.

Anonymous said:

Hello, my chaton, what are you doing in this lovely evening? Thinking of me? I came to drink some tea and eat some pastries with my best girl-friend. LB.

Anonymous said:

The truth is: I am guilty. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. They have this beautiful Black Cat themed pastry and I absolutely love it- Would you try it someday? And maybe think about me when you do. LB.

Hello, my lady, I am here missing you because I came to a party and I wish you could be here. And yes, I will try that cake, but I’d prefer something ladybug themed though.

Anonymous said:

What, are you at a party? Is there any cute girl with a pretty dress I should be jealous of? LB.

No, there is no girl in this planet that would look pretty to me, since the girl I love will always be you, my lady.

Fuck. Adrien’s face turned red. He typed the answer really fast and without thinking too much he sent it. It was the first time he told Ladybug he loved her. He just fucked up.

He had said several times to her and to the world that he liked Ladybug, but saying you love someone was different, at least to him. He knew he loved her, but he wanted to tell her privately when they met in person and not just randomly in a message when he was tipsy, available for the world to see.

He wanted to die. Ladybug stopped sending messages and he was worried. Maybe she felt offended in a way, since his flirting had never been so direct, and usually were told between jokes.

Later that night, he received a message he wasn’t brave enough to reply. It was his little treasure. It was the first time she said it, and even though they avoided talking about it in the future, he knew she wasn’t joking.

Anonymous said:

I’m glad to read that, since the boy I love will always be you, my sweet chaton. LB.

Ladybug always avoided talking about things such as love, and also she did her best to avoid the question “what is your relationship with Chat Noir?” fans loved to ask all the time. He would always answer with a simple “We are partners, we save Paris from evil black butterflies” and when Ladybug dropped an ask she would pretend she didn’t see those questions, even if he asked for her opinion.

Maybe she was the kind of person that overthink situations. Maybe, just maybe, she didn’t want to get hurt. Did someone break her heart? Or maybe this was her first time falling in love and she was hesitant. Or maybe…

He couldn’t know for sure, but it didn’t matter in the end, he would treasure her and protect her for the rest of his life if she allowed him to. It didn’t matter if it was as a lover, or just as friends.

Some months ago, Ladybug joked about telling him who she was in exchange of a selfie. He felt cold when he first read it, because revealing himself to the world would not only make his father angry, he would also be on all the newspapers and television news next morning, and most importantly, he would lose his safe space.

He immediately imagined his pictures in all the news the next day, talking about his Tumblr. The only scape he had from his real life, and his problems. In that moment, he understood how Ladybug might be feeling about revealing her identity. Maybe she didn’t want to spoil her scape of reality.

But right in this moment, Adrien wasn’t feeling cold. He was feeling hot. His face must had been completely red, and his heart couldn’t be beating faster. He felt like crying of happiness.

MiraculousLadybug said:

Hello, my Chaton! Wouldn’t you want to eat ice cream with me? LB.

It was from Ladybug, he was sure. Her pink beautiful nails, her stylized hand holding her favourite ice cream flavour and the bracelet he suggested her to buy so they could match. It was her, it was her! And finally, the message didn’t show the undesired “Anonymous” before the text. He couldn’t breathe for a moment when he realized the message came from the Fashion Princess.

Some months before he considered her as a possible candidate to be Ladybug, he was so close at that time, but then he gave up and decided to not message her. What a fool.

He felt complete. In that moment he realized he felt the safest not because of his Tumblr or his anonymous mask on the internet. What made him feel the safest was Ladybug, the girl who after almost two years of knowing each other she finally decided to reveal her true identity.

It was like the time she said she loved him; something special, something he wanted to keep private. He decided to not reply and just send a direct message to her blog.

But yeah, it was easier said than done. He spent hours just staring at the new conversation without a single idea of what to say. He typed a long text expressing his excitement and before deciding to send it, he deleted the whole thing. He typed at least twelve different messages but in the end, he always deleted it before sending it.

He was super nervous, it was his first message to her, to not just Ladybug but to Marinette. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal for her, since her message was quite casual, but to him, oh boy, it meant the world.

He sighed when Natalie knocked his door to tell him it was time for him to practice piano.

He couldn’t contain his happiness. Natalie told him at the end of the session it was one of the most beautiful practices she had heard from him. She asked him if something happened that made him feel happy lately. He blushed and rushed to his room, telling her he was really tired and that it was nothing too special, he just suddenly felt a little happier.

He then remembered his promise about the selfie. For less than a second he felt cold, but then he felt warm again. Marinette, it was for her. And she was worth it.

He took a selfie and posted it on his Tumblr. He wrote a simple “As I promise, my Lady” and added tons of hashtags expressing his excitement and happiness.

If he was lucky, Ladybug would send him a direct message first, maybe mentioning the selfie. Obviously, he couldn’t ask his luck to give him even more things. He received tons of messages and likes thanks to the selfie he uploaded, but nothing from his Ladybug.

Meanwhile, he spent a couple of hours going through Ladybug’s blog. It was full of her designs and her drawings. She also had a personal blog where she rebbloged things she liked and posted some pictures and texts of her daily life. Adrien knew this blog from a couple of months ago because it reblogged a lot of his posts, but it wasn’t linked to her art blog in any way.

To tell you the truth, Adrien had to really look for it. That blog was linked on an ask Marinette got in her art blog.

Some years ago.

Adrien was surprised to notice how careful she was with her Ladybug identity. Yeah, the name was the same, but she was careful to not post similar things of the ones she sent him. If someone had the theory Marinette and Ladybug were the same person, they wouldn’t be able to find solid proofs.

But there were traces of her Ladybug all over Marinette’s personal blog. Even in her art blog! Little small details he knew had special meaning for both of them. Cats and ladybugs were obviously some of those small details.

Oh, new notification. He almost choked.

Anonymous said:

My sweet chaton, are you ok? I’ve missed you today. LB.

It took him a couple of minutes to reply. He was really confused, why would Ladybug keep sending him anonymous messages if she had already revealed her identity as the Fashion Princess? As Marinette… It was easier to just send him a private message…

Unless she actually didn’t reveal herself. Maybe it was a prank message and he fell for it.

No, he was sure Marinette was Ladybug. But, was he really sure about it?

Oh damn, he was now embarrassed.

Oh, my dear Buginette, I’ve missed you tons too! It makes me happy to know you miss me too, could it mean that you love me as much as I love you? Sometimes I think I can’t love you more… and then you go and do things that make me love you even more, and stronger. I’m starting to think my love for you will never end.

Adrien was now waiting for her reply. Maybe she would ask about the ice cream submission. If she did, it meant it was really her. He hoped to get a new ask from her asking about the ice cream. Please, oh dear God, let him read the word ‘ice cream’ again.

Anonymous said:

Did you get my submission earlier? I was eating ice cream and I thought of you… but you never answered. I was worried something happened to you, because you didn’t post anything either. LB.

It only took seconds to write a reply to her this time.

I received it Buginette. I promise to keep your secret, and I will do everything I said I’d do after knowing. You have no idea what it means to me.

Adrien took some time to breath and digest what happened. Marinette, the Fashion Princess AND Ladybug were the same person. He opened her chat and sent a simple “Buginette, is that you?”.

He then closed everything and threw himself to bed.

Every second that passed from that moment until she replied felt like eternity.

#miraculous ladybug #adrinette #ladynoir #tumblr au #fics #fanfics #crush #platonic love

15 notes · View notes

81scorp · 5 years ago

Text

Constructive criticism: DCEU in general

(Originally posted on Deviantart Mar 23, 2018. Has been edited a few times)

I am a big DC fan. When I was little and couldn`t even read, Superman was the first comicbook superhero I was introduced to. The second one was the Hulk.I am however not one of those DC fans who completely ignore the flaws of the DCEU movies. I have studied dramaturgy and I have seen several educational videos on youtube on how to make movies competently.The DCEU movies have two problems. One is the vision of Zack Snyder who who has to make every heroic character into a damaged, dark and depressed antihero who is reluctant to help others. Snyder has however left the DCEU, partly because of a family tragedy but also because he was fired. (I want you to know that in this case I separate the art from the artist. From what I`ve heard Snyder is a nice guy, he has my sympathies.) So with Snyder gone the DCEU technically only has one problem left, and in this case the problem lies with Warner Bros: The movies are too rushed. WB are too concerned with catching up to Marvel than to take their time and tell a good story. If they had taken their time and planned things out beforehand they could have made it much better. It also helps that Marvel, who understand their comics more, have their own studio. If I could run so fast that I could screw the laws of physics, travel backwards in time and change these movies, this is what I would have done.

2013: Man of Steel Make a few changes, like Pa Kent not telling little Clark that maybe he should`ve let those kids in in the bus die. (Yes, I know, he didn`t say it directly, but it was in the subtext.) I`ve gone into more detail about it in my constructive criticism of Man of Steel.

2014: Wonder Woman Yes, it has a few flaws, but I`m not gonna change a thing... with one exception. That scene where Diana gets a package from Bruce with the photo of her and Steve Trevor. Remove it from this film and put it as a mid-credit scene in Batman v Superman. (I mean, in this hypothetical Flashpoint universe WW comes out before BvS, so it works) 2015: Green Lantern Parallax is not the villain, but Sinestro. See my constructive criticism of it. 2015: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Remove and change all the stupid stuff. (Once again, I`ve gone into more details about this movie`s shortcomings in a previous constructive criticism.) Here`s one thing I would like to add though: Amanda Waller has a cameo in this movie. (She could be one of the people in the interview montage that gives their two cents about Superman and how he affects our world.) And after Batman v Superman I would have made two solo movies, one for the Flash and one for Aquaman (not necessarily in that order) to properly flesh out and develop their characters before Justice League. That way, there`ll be enough room for Cyborg and Steppenwolf to get sufficient character developement.

2016: The Flash In this version Barry is not Sheldon Cooper-ish. Plot Barry`s mom was killed when he was a kid and his dad was framed for the murder. Barry grows up and studies to become a crime scene investigator. He is friends with journalist Iris West. (They are not a romantic couple... yet.) Meanwhile: Somewhere else, a guy named Mark Mardon is being tested as a human guinea pig by some unknown man who`s face we don`t get to see. The tests on Mardon finally give results: He developes superpowers, more specifically: weather manipulation powers. To test his powers he creates a thundercloud. Meanwhile: Barry Allen is ready to go home after a hard work day. He`s about to shut the window when he gets hit by lightning and thrown into a case full of rare chemicals that the police have confiscated from a gang of criminals. He wakes up the next day at the hospital. Later he discovers that he has become superfast, but he also realizes that it is not ordinary superspeed. If it was, his clothes would burn up from the air friction, so it`s something more than just superspeed. He does an act of heroism, while hiding his face by wearing a red hoodie jacket, and realizes that he could become a superhero. (He`s also inspired by Superman who gets mentioned on the news.) Speaking of the news: Amanda Waller gets interviewed on TV, she mentions that a special jail has been built that`s strong enough to hold superpowered individuals. She thinks that it`s a necessity after the destruction of Metropolis. He studies hard with the forensic science stuff while making his Superherocostume from scratch. Mark Mardon goes around and steals hi-tech devices and chemicals, things that are sciency in general. Turns out the confiscated, rare chemicals that, combined with lightning, turned Barry into a Superspeedster are some of the chemicals that are needed to make the drug that triggered Mardon`s latent superpowers. Mardon steals the science stuff because of a quid pro quo thing: The unknown scientist gave him powers so that he could lash back at society (He`s a jerk with a crappy childhood) and in return, he uses his powers to help the scientist do more illegal science stuff. Barry fights Mardon and wins. Mardon gets taken to the special jail by Amanda Waller`s goverment guys. Barry visits his dad in jail to tell him that he`s passed the test and is now a licensed forensic scientist. Iris figures out Flash`s secret identity but keeps her discovery a secret. (This could be revisited in a possible sequel.) Mardon also gets visited in jail. We never see the face of his visitor but we see that he`s... wearing a yellow version of the Flash`s costume? And... he seems to be vibrating, and his voice is vibrating too. The man tells Mardon that he`s willing to give him a second chance, not yet though, maybe in the future. But if Mardon screws up a second time there will be no more second chances... ever. Mardon gulps and understands. Pre-credit epilogue or mid-credit scene: Barry is out late at night running as the flash and runs into Superman who asks him if he wants to join his team. Barry`s answer is a mischievous smile. 2016: Aquaman I`m gonna borrow a little from Lion King on this one. Plot It begins with a mother telling a bedtime story to her son about the atlantean kingdom. How the Princess of Atlantis got married to a man that turned out to be cruel and when the princess realized that she ran away and left the kingdom. One day she would return, save her people and end the evil man`s tyrrany. The mother and her son both suffer from a condition: they need to rehydrate a little more often than normal people (either by drinking an extra glass of water or take a bath/shower) or else they`ll get weak. The mother needs to rehydrate every sixth hour, her son every eighth hour. The mother`s name is Atlanna, she`s married to a lighthouse keeper named Tom Curry and her son is named Arthur. Atlanna has a nickname for her son: Orin, which is the Atlantean version of "Arthur". When Arthur gets older his mom disappears for a few months every year but always comes back. As time goes by Arthur starts to discover that he has powers: He can breathe underwater, control underwater creatures and developes superhuman strength and stamina. One day Atlanna disappears and doesn`t come back. Arthur suspects that his mother`s stories are true and his father confirms that they are indeed true and tells him about his first meeting with Atlanna, how he found her washed up on the shore. Arthur and his dad say their goodbyes and he starts to look for his mom and the city of Atlantis. After some searching he finally finds Atlantis, meets the resistance who are trying to overthrow Orm Marius aka: the Ocean Master. Ocean Master has a henchman: King Shark. He meets Mera, a leader of the resistance, finds out that he has to go on a quest to find "the trident of Atlan". After going though lots of troubles he and Mera finds the place where the trident is hidden and he is reunited with his mother. Atlanna has been wounded (it happened years ago), she can still move around and give orders but she can`t engage in most kinds of strenuous activities, like close combat. She`s sorry for leaving Arthur but she couldn`t just stay with him and his father knowing that her people were suffering. Arthur understands. He tries and succeeds in getting the trident from the giant sea monster that guards after it has deemed him worthy. In the end the resistance is victorious, Ocean Master is defeated and believed to be dead, Atlanna abdicates and is reunited with Thomas Curry. Arthur is crowned the next king of Atlantis. One day he visits his parents to tell them how things are going. As Arthur and his parents have their reunion a woman comes walking, It`s Wonder woman in civilian clothing. She tells Arthur that her people and his people were once allies thousands of years ago. She wonders if he`s interested in rekindling that alliance. Arthur finds her proposal intriguing. ( I changed my version a few months after I had seen the movie to be more similar to James Wan`s version.) (And yes, I`m aware that I`m following the Marvel formula with these two examples, but what Marvel is doing is working.) 2017: Justice League See my constructive criticism of it.

2017: Suicide Squad See my constructive criticism of it. And after that... 2018: Solo Batman movie Batman fights crime with his old partner Dick Grayson who calls himself Nightwing now. Barbara has been struggling to walk again for years. Catwoman appears in a few scenes. The movie`s villain could be... I dunno... Clayface? Mid-credit scene: Barbara learns to walk again. It is strongly hinted that she`s gonna batsuit up in a future movie. 2018: Man of Steel sequel Superman meets Supergirl and fights Brainiac. Detective John Jones can be introduced in this one.Followed by...

2019: Batgirl and Supergirl: World`s Finest Batgirl and Supergirl team up to fight a threat and become friends. John Jones is revealed to be Martian Manhunter.

2019: Wonder woman sequel It would take place in modern time, chronologically after the first Justice league or the Batgirl and Supergirl movie. Maybe Circe could be the villain?

2019: Shazam! Just do the David F. Sandberg version with Zachary Levi. It was pretty good. 2020: Justice League 2 Justice League fights Legion of Doom.

2020: Solo Cyborg movie

Green Lantern Sequel Hal recruits Jon Stewart to help him keep the peace in sector 2814.

The Flash Sequel

Aquaman sequel

(doesn`t necessarily have to be in that order), and after that...

New gods The story of New Genesis and Apokolips. Of how "Scott Free" grows up in the hell that is Apokolips and manages to escape with the help of Orion and his former enemy turned ally Big Barda. In the end he manages to escape to Earth where he meets the Justice League. Man of Steel 3: Doomsday Superman fights Doomsday and dies. Followed by...

Justice League 3 Remember the opening to Justice League with the two kids interviewing Supes for their podcast? I would save that scene for the beginning of this movie instead. It would be followed by a montage of people trying to get on with their lives, people leaving flowers at a memorial dedicated to Superman, and Lois, Supergirl and Batman still mourning. All this to a sad cover of "Running up that hill". Earth is invaded by Apokolips and Superman is back from the dead... as a servant of Darkseid. Flash/Wonder Woman/Supergirl tries to snap him out of it, telling him he`s not a weapon. Supes snaps out of it and fights Darkseid. Apokolips retreats, Earth is saved once again. Hooray! And that`s how I would do it. The sad thing is, DC has done this shared universe thing before and done it well: the Arrowverse and the DC Animated Universe. I used to wonder if Marvel was ever gonna get a good movie made. Now I wonder if DC is ever gonna get a good movie again. WB, please make better DC films.

#81scorp #constructive #criticism #editorial #dceu

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