#i could talk days and days about like. love in different forms
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jarofstyles · 21 hours ago
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The Heart Of The Woods
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Hi my loves! I wanted to give you guys a peek into our grumpy mountain manrry! He’s different to some that I’ve written before but I think you’ll like him if you give him a chance
Read the series ( 9 parts ongoing) and 220+ exclusive writings on our Patreon!
WC- 1.4k
Warnings- tiny bit of rejection, asshole h
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He hadn’t been sure what he was thinking.
Hiring a housekeeper had not been on his agenda, but it put his mum at ease. Being far from her, up in his large cabin in the middle of the mountain, she had said she worried a lot about not only his well being, but about him overworking himself. His days started early, working on splitting wood, emails, driving down to deliver it, and all of that. His group of employees that worked on the lot not too far from his own place up the mountain were his main source of socialization and even they knew not to bug him too much.
Harry preferred to be left alone.
So why hire a housekeeper? It sounded okay at the time. Someone to keep the fire stoked and the house warm so he could come home and not have the house be cold for him and his animals, someone to cook and clean and… another body in the house. Make it less lonely. Maple was a good companion, Ash was too, but a dog and a cat didn’t replace human connection. Perhaps that’s why he had found himself feeling more irritated lately.
Watching the car pull in, he had to wonder how she could fit her belongings into such a small vehicle. Weren't women supposed to have a lot of stuff? The question was answered as she stepped out of the car, light wash jeans clinging to her thighs and pink sweater hanging on her form as she waved up to him. "Hi!" she grinned a tad bit too brightly for his comfort, jogging up to the wraparound porch. "I’m so sorry l'm a little late. I got lost at the turn- the split in the road? and I didn't have good service to call and let you know. I usually try and do that.”
She was rambling.
He grumbled, wiping his hands on his work pants. “Late's fine. I didn’t have any plans today, just don’t make a habit of it.” Glancing at her car, then back at her, he gave her a little bit of a look. “You got everything you need?” He wasn’t the best at socializing, famously, but she wasn’t aware of that yet considering their talk had mainly consisted of emails. It would be something she quickly found out.
“Oh!” Her chuckle was nervous as the man stood tall above her on the wooden porch, making her look up a bit at him. “Uh, yeah. I.. I kinda had to get out of my place in a hurry, so this worked out.” She smiled up at him before looking back to her car. “Did you want me to grab my stuff now or did you want me to do it after you give me the run down of what you want me to do?”
He sighed, stepping aside to let her pass. “Follow me.” He led her inside, shutting the door behind her. It was weird feeling someone else in his space. It had been a long time since he’d heard footsteps other than his own or his pets in the hall, and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about it yet. Leading her down the wooden hall, he brought her towards the main part of the house- a large step down living room he mentally referred to as the den. The stone fireplace was lit with the fire going already as he gestured to a chair by it. “Sit.”
Y/N was distracted a little by the skylight- and then the view outside. It was absolutely gorgeous. The whole place was. She had slightly underestimated it despite the size of the place when she had applied to work eyes but she would make it work. At least the view was great. She could see that there was a deck outside, the view of the mountains sprawling behind them sort of blowing her away. The awe only lasted a few moments though, when she heard him clear his throat. Oops. “Sorry.” She smiled nervously. “The view distracted me. You’ve got a beautiful home.”
He grunted, not really used to compliments. Small talk wasn’t his thing. He sat down in his recliner, stretching his legs out in front of him before resting his hands on his knees. “So, as your employer, I expect you t’keep this place clean. Cook meals, do laundry, that sort of thing.” He paused, looking at her critically. “M’not home most of the day, and when I am I’m usually in my workshop. It’s the building out to the side that you saw.” He clasped his hands together. “We don’t need to have a ton of interaction. I need you to keep the fire stoked, maybe feed Ash for me if I get back late. I don’t have a lot of rules, but I ask you to respect my space.”
“Uh, alright.” She nodded, taking out her phone to take notes. “I figured the normal house stuff. I…” Her body felt the cringe as she went to ask it. “I haven’t really stoked a fire longer than it’s taken to do a bonfire while camping so, if there’s some sort of magic you know to keep it going longer I’d love to know it.” The girl didn’t want to fuck it up. The man worked with wood. The last thing she wanted to do was waste it.
It did make her a little unsettled to hear the other part, though. “Um, and what do you mean exactly by not needing to interact? Like, you don’t want to see or hear from me?”
Harry paused, his gaze sharpening a little on the girl. He was used to being alone. He liked being alone. He didn’t want to come home to some sort of chatty roommate. “I mean exactly that.” He said gruffly.
“Oh.” She replied quietly, swallowing the lump on her throat. Her gaze averted when his sharpened on hers, looking towards her lap. He was a little intimidating and she felt embarrassed for some reason- but logically she knew she hadn’t done anything wrong. Didn’t mean her body knew that, though.
“O-Okay. I’ll make sure to give you your space.” Her head nodded, convincing herself it would be good for her. Maybe akin to rejection therapy. She had hoped for something a little different, but this was the escape she had needed- she couldn’t complain. “Can you tell me what kind of foods you like, or don’t, so I can make what you’ll eat?”
Harry grunted, his expression relaxing slightly at the mention of food. He hated being bothered with small talk, but food was something he could appreciate- it was part of her job, anyways. He could talk abojt that. “I like meat and potatoes. Steak, roast chicken, mashed potatoes, that sort of thing. Don’t bother with fancy shit. Just straightforward, hearty food.”
He paused, thinking for a moment before continuing. “And coffee. Black coffee. None of that fancy latte crap. Just straight up coffee.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “That’s all you need to know for now. You can start preparing dinner and I’ll be back later.”
“Oh! I… are you sure?” She stood up too, following him. “Where should I put my things?” Part of her felt a little nervous she had fucked up with how fast he seemed to want to get out of there, but she didn’t know what she could have done to offend him. Was this just the way he was? Probably. She shouldn’t take it personally- but part of her did, just a bit. “I don’t know which room I should set my things up in.”
Harry turned around, his expression still stern. “You can set up in the spare room down the hall. It’s the first door on the right.” He pointed down the hallway before continuing. “I don’t need any help with my things. Just worry about your own shit for now.”
Her eyes fell down towards the floor, nodding at his words. It must just be the way he was, she concluded. He didn’t bother saying goodbye as she heard the door close, the ticking of the large grandfather clock in the den the only sound until the start of his pickup was muffled outside.
Who the hell was this man? And what had she gotten herself into?
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psychoticbipolarbear · 2 days ago
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Gifts
pairing: Spencer Reid x reader
summary: You and Spencer broke up two years ago, but now you received a gift on the anniversary of the biggest tragedy of your lives, so you give him a visit to confront him.
word count: 1.5k
tags: fem!reader, mention of a child's death
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Birthday. Halloween. Christmas. Anniversary. Pi Day. Doctor Who Day. 
Flowers. Small presents. Sometimes both. 
It’s been almost two years since you and Spencer agreed to end your relationship, yet he keeps sending you stuff. There is usually a card with SR on it, but there is no other message. You never really understood why he keeps sending them, but you aren’t about to give him the satisfaction of showing interest. You just throw them out. Each and every one of them.
Today you find another gift on your doorstep, wrapped in shiny blue paper, decorated with a big white bow on the top and, of course, it has the usual card tucked under the bow. You haven’t received a present on this particular day before, this is a first, and you can’t help but wonder what made him send one now. It’s sick and twisted, there’s absolutely nothing to celebrate about today, if anything, it’s a day to forget. But then you open the box, and it’s white-hot rage that fills your mind. 
Without hesitation, you put the gift in your bag and head to Spencer’s apartment, already planning what profanities you’re gonna throw at him for messing with you like this. He from all people should know better than to remind you of this, in fact, you’re surprised he’s that okay with remembering what happened on this day. Each step that takes you closer to his door makes you a little more nervous, because you don’t know how talking to him about this will play out. 
You knock, keeping it civil and gentle at first, but then you put a little more force into the move to make sure he hears you. Within a matter of seconds the door opens, and you’re standing face to face with the man who was the love of your life, the one who turned himself into the boogeyman with those gifts. But today’s present crossed a line, you couldn’t ignore the problem any longer. 
“What are you doing here?” he asks you, sounding honestly confused to find your standing there.
It’s hard to bite back the sarcastic laugh that wants to erupt from your throat. Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you push him aside and march inside, waiting for him to come after you in silence. As you watch him move, you take a better look at him–at his face, at his movements, everything. He’s different. Very different. He looks exhausted and stressed, and you can’t help but wonder what’s causing it. Where’s the sweet nerdy guy you spent over four years with?
Clearing your throat, you open your bag and put the gift on the coffee table. “Explain this.” Spencer’s eyes move to the item, the fuzzy, reddish-brown, newborn-sized jumpsuit with the fox on it, then he looks back at you with a look that shows honest confusion. “In the past years, you gave me no choice but to get used to the gifts you’re sending. Fine, I throw them out and forget about them. But this? Why? This is the first time you sent me anything on this day. It’s sick, Spencer, you know it! You have a gun, shooting me in the head would be more gentle. Or did you turn into some sick sadist?!” you scream, tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
He opens his mouth to speak up, but he struggles to find the right words for a while. “Okay, take a deep breath and calm down. The other gifts? Yes, those were from me, and I’ll stop, I promise. This? I have nothing to do with this one,” he promises as he runs his hand over the little jumpsuit. “But sadly, I have a pretty good guess who sent this so-called gift to you.”
“Is it related to one of your cases?” you ask hesitantly, knowing full well it could be an answer.
With a sigh, Spencer runs a hand through his hair. “Sort of.” When he turns back to you and sees your questioning look, he takes a deep breath and begins his explanation. “There’s a woman. She’s in prison, but she’s been messing with me, even from there. I think she wants to drag you into this. I’m so sorry,” he says softly, his tone giving away that he’s being completely honest. 
It’s hard to look at him after this, so you sit on the couch and wait for him to do the same. Once he sits next to you, keeping a comfortable distance not to upset you, you can’t help but fidget with the zip of your leather jacket. “Are you in danger?” 
“I’m more worried about you,” is all he says in response. When you turn to look at him, he gulps. “I’m going to take you home so you can pack a few things, then you’ll have to come back with me. I’ll protect you, okay? I’ll figure this out,” he promises as his hand slowly inches closer to yours. 
You force yourself to look at him, your brain in overdrive as you try to figure out if you should trust him or not. This is the man you once loved more than anything, the one you had a family with, and the very same person your family loved so much. But he has changed. You can’t quite put a finger on it, but the feeling’s there, and you can’t shake it off. Your eyes flick back at the jumpsuit on the table, glued to the damn thing as if it was calling out your name, and the words spill out before you could stop yourself. 
“You still have photos of her, don’t you?” you ask quietly. 
“Of course I do.” When you turn to him, he’s watching you with a slightly tilted head. “You don’t?”
“No. I wanted to throw them away, I thought getting rid of them would help me move on, but my parents kept them, so…” 
Spencer suddenly takes your hand, gently squeezing it in quiet reassurance. Losing your daughter hurt him just as much, maybe even more, which is why someone using the day she died against him must be a real hard punch in the gut. You can’t help but remember the nights he spent by her crib, telling her stories until he dozed off too. But your little family fell apart when she got sick, and no matter how good the doctors were, there was nothing they could do to save her. You both blamed yourselves, and grief eventually led to the two of you drifting away from each other. 
He kisses the back of your hand to pull you out of your thoughts, flashing a sad smile at you when your eyes meet. “I kept her stuff in a storage unit. I know I said I gave them away, but I couldn’t. Guess this one fell into the wrong hands,” he explains, guilt filling his voice. Even though he falls silent, you can see the wheels turning in his head. “Just bear with me until I put an end to this, okay? I only want the best for you, you know that, don’t you?” When you nod, he leans down to place a soft kiss on your forehead. “Alright, let’s go get your things.”
“Spence?” With a questioning hum, he looks down at you, his hand still holding yours, ready to pull you up. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” 
“Saying no to couples therapy. I didn’t fight for our relationship hard enough. You deserved better,” you tell him with an apologetic look. 
Spencer suddenly crouches to be more or less on eye level with you. “We can still fix things, just say the word,” he assures you with a smile, his thumb gently caressing your skin. “I will always love you, no matter what. In fact, thinking about you helped me a lot while I was in prison.”
This freezes your brain temporarily. “You were in what?”
He shakes his head a little as he stands up. “Long story, but I’ll tell you once we get back,” he says, finally managing to pull you up too. 
The two of you just stand there in silence for a short while, and you can’t help but wonder why you gave up that easily. Sure, the grief was bad, but you loved him so much, and you could have helped each other move on. Instead, you chose to be alone, hoping falling back into the steady, boring rhythm of your life would make things right. It didn’t. You’re miserable, still suffering from the loss of your daughter, and being in Spencer’s company is a painful reminder of that. But maybe, just maybe, this sick bastard who’s playing their sick little games with him might bring you closer to each other again.
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thiriann · 2 days ago
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Days of hedonistic debauchery- Ch. 2
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You can also find me on AO3
Rating: Explicit
Words: 3.3k
Pairing: Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character
Warnings: Named Tav , Multiple Orgasms, Blood Drinking, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Teasing, Falling In Love
Prompt:
"In public"
Note:
A collection of short stories depicting Thiriann and Astarion as they engage in the most hedonistic, tender, loving and consensual debauchery of their lives. A part of the 12 Days of Kinkmas 2024 BG3 Smut challenge created by ShandoraTheExplorer .
Summary:
Summary: “You've been on edge all day haven't you? Poor dear. I can give you what you need, but you have to ask for it. Do you want it?”
“I…”
She bit her lip, glancing around the camp, acutely aware of their exposed position. They were in the middle of camp, in plain sight while their companions slept around them, hushed snores coming from their tents accompanied the occasional flicker of firelight—it would be obvious to anyone who looked what they were getting up to.
Yet with him pressed so close to her, his hand buried between her legs rubbing lazy circles against her clit , she could barely think straight, feeling like she'd burst into flames from desire on the spot.
"I want you," she admitted unabashedly. "Gods, I want you."
As another eventful day drew to a close, Thiriann settled beside the roaring campfire, engrossed in a freshly plundered tome. To the casual observer, she might have seemed the picture of tranquility, but Astarion knew better. In the short weeks they'd spent together, he'd become adept at reading the subtle signs her body betrayed.
She'd been on edge all day, practically buzzing with excitement since he'd fed on her during the previous night. The memory of his last feeding lingered, the way she'd trembled beneath him, her breath catching in her throat with each deep, satisfying draught. 
Even now, her gaze was drawn to him, fixed on his form with quiet intensity. It was a familiar dance, a game he'd played countless times. Almost too easy; it always was. Yet, something about Thiriann was different. 
He should have been able to dismiss the persistent images of her in his mind, the unexpected spark of joy that came as he drank her blood for the first time and had lodged itself in his heart, stubbornly refusing to be extinguished. Nor could he ignore the connection he felt when he talked to her about his past, the genuine attentiveness and care in her eyes. 
His plan was working perfectly; he should have been happy about that. 
With him tightly glued to Thiriann's side, the others had already mostly left him alone about the whole vampire thing. Mostly. There were some occasional comments about their budding relationship but it seemed they weren’t enough to dissuade her from continuing to share his company… and his bed. Naturally, of course. He was very skilled in the art of pleasure, and he wasn’t holding back on the myriad of tricks he knew.
Some twisted part of him didn't mind it. Wanted to show her just how good he was, wanted her to know he's worth it.He tried telling himself it was because she was useful but even he couldn't believe that lie.
And another part could say he even found a certain enjoyment in it. It had felt different with her, in a strange way he couldn't exactly point out. 
He delighted in her reactions: the way she’d forget what she wanted to say when he dropped a flirtatious remark or how he could see her cheeks flush with blood at a simple wink. He had to admit it had been the most… fun than he'd had in a long time and it was getting to him.
He caught her gaze again; she looked puzzled. With some level of trepidation, he realized he'd been the one caught staring this time.
“What’s wrong? Are you hungry?” she asked, still watching him with uncertainty.
Astarion did his best to shift his expression into a predatory look, a slow smile curving his lips. “Ravenous,” he purred, his voice low and seductive.
As if on cue, her cheeks flushed, and he felt his own throat tighten. The air between them crackled with tension, a sudden stillness charged with electric anticipation.
“Alright,” she said, her voice a little shaky as she closed her book. “You can feed from me, if you want.”
"I was so hoping you’d say that, darling." he replied, moving swiftly to position himself behind her. 
There was always a certain eagerness he couldn't hide no matter how hard he tried. As if she'd rescind her offer if he took too long. 
She began to shift onto her back, but he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Now, now, there’s no need to disturb your rest. I’m more than content to drink you in like this.”
She gasped as his cold breath ghosted over her ear, raising gooseflesh all over her skin.
"Are you sure it's comfortable?" she asked calmly, though he could feel the tremor in her voice.
“Of course. Just… perfect.” He deliberately spoke the words against her flesh, his lips brushing her skin with each syllable.
She fought the urge to squirm as his touch on her nape sent sparks of arousal down her body all the way to her core.
A visible shiver ran over her form, and he heard the quickening pulse of her blood as it flowed with every heartbeat. Anticipation surged through him, the melodic sound more inviting than a harpy's song.
His lips traced the delicate curve of her neck, a gentle caress that masked the primal hunger within. The hunger that made him feel both so powerful and so vulnerable.
He bit quickly, he always did. Always eager.
The pain was sharp, piercing but there was no force behind it, no pressure on her skin to tear or on her muscles to give in. Within a moment it faded as if it never happened and the only thing that remained was him. His lips still pressed against her neck, she felt them clearly now, felt the subtle movements of his tongue, the satisfied rumble in his chest as he drank, as well as the way his grip tightened on her hips, holding her close. She hadn’t even realized when his hand had moved there.
The moment was intimate. Deeply so.
The connection between them as she offered him a part of herself, a part of her life was something she never expected or could have prepared for. This profound closeness, this shared vulnerability, always made her stomach flutter and breath quicken.
And as much as he tried to cover it with flirtatious remarks she could see the truth in his eyes, how much it meant to him. It wasn't just sustenance nor was it just about satiating a need. 
Desire pooled in her belly, hot and molten, making her head spin. Or maybe it was the blood loss that was responsible. Either way, she lay stock still, lust coursing through her, making her tremble.
She wanted more of him, inside her, around her, surrounding her until nothing else existed. In that moment, only he mattered; everything else faded away. The loneliness she carried everywhere she went, the horrors that they faced each day, the responsibility she felt towards everyone around her—she wanted to forget it all and simply feel him, just this, just them.
When he finally drew back, his lips stained crimson, the world rushed back, sobering her slightly.
Suddenly, he pulled her closer, bringing their bodies flush against each other.
She gasped at the hardness against her backside, twitching in the confines of his trousers.
“Astarion…” she whimpered. 
He traced her earlobe with a slow, deliberate lick, a subtle smirk playing on his lips. The sensation made her arch against him, seeking more friction against the one spot she wanted it most. 
"Do you want to go somewhere more private, darling? Somewhere we can indulge?” he murmured, rolling his hips sinfully against her. “ Or should I take you right here? In the middle of camp where anyone can see?" A faint whimper escaped her.
“I guess I have my answer,” he chuckled. His hand slid down her front, expertly unlacing her leather pants and pushing them past the delicious curves of her hips. His fingers slipped beneath her underwear and he reveled in the way she trembled in anticipation. Poor thing really was desperate for it.
At the first brush of his fingers against her clit, she hissed, biting her lip against the onslaught of stimulation. A sadistic impulse urged him to continue the teasing, to rub the sensitive nub again and again, wringing more pathetic whines out of her until she begged him to take her. 
He’d never felt this desire with a lover before. It was always going through the motions, waiting for it to be over, the constant threat hanging over him. But here, in the middle of camp, he felt a strange freedom to indulge in this game, just a little.
“Astarion, please,” she whispered.
Mercifully he relented, lowering his hand to part her folds. There was barely enough space between her legs, trapped as they were by her pants but his fingers were dexterous enough to easily find their way inside her. She was eager, slick dripping and coating her thighs. 
Her breath hitched as he started slowly pumping in and out of her.
“You're so wet, darling. I don't even need to lift a finger,” he murmured, hearing the quickening of her pulse in her neck,it's enticing call making his mouth water. “You've been on edge all day haven't you? Poor dear. I can give you what you need, but you have to ask for it. Do you want it?”
“I…”
She bit her lip, glancing around the camp, acutely aware of their exposed position. They were in the middle of camp, in plain sight while their companions slept around them, hushed snores coming from their tents accompanied the occasional flicker of firelight—it would be obvious to anyone who looked what they were getting up to. 
 Yet with him pressed so close to her, his hand buried between her legs rubbing lazy circles against her clit , she could barely think straight, feeling like she'd burst into flames from desire on the spot.
"I want you," she admitted unabashedly. "Gods, I want you."
He chuckled behind her, satisfaction rolling over him in waves as he began to circle his finger, applying just enough pressure to send waves of pleasure rippling through her. Thiriann arched her back, her eyes fluttering closed.
“Then you shall have me, darling,” he whispered, his tongue tracing her earlobe.
He withdrew his hand, and she heard the rustle of his trousers as he unfastened them. Then, she felt the head of his cock slide slowly, agonizingly slowly, against her. 
She keened at the sudden sensation before biting her lip trying to stifle her sounds. With her legs held tightly together by her leather trousers he felt so much bigger inside of her, stretching her walls and filling her completely.
He entered her fully, the force of their joining causing a rush of heat through her.
In this position his length could push right against the spot inside her that could drive her crazy. Unable to stop herself she moaned loudly as he finally bottomed out.
"Shh, darling. We wouldn't want to wake poor Karlach, would we?" he teased, but with some pride, she noticed he too sounded breathless.
Gods, Karlach was sleeping barely a few feet away from them. If she were to open her eyes, she'd see everything, there'd be no mistaking what activity they were indulging in.
A wave of arousal flushed over her traitorous body and she squeezed him, her walls gripping around him almost painfully.
Her hungry sex seemed to pull his cock deeper inside, and before he knew it, he had sheathed himself completely inside of her.
He let out a surprised whimper that flooded her body with heat. 
She chuckled softly. “Yes, we really should try to be quiet.”
He growled at her teasing and bit her ear in retaliation. Her reaction was instantaneous as she arched her back and pressed her ass even more firmly onto him.
“Please, Astarion,” she whispered.
“Please what, darling?”
“Please… move.”
“I don’t think so, darling. I think I’ll make you come just like this, without moving a muscle.”
“Astarion…” she whined in disappointment but he only chuckled at her misery.
“You can do it, darling. Go on, touch yourself,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over her ear. The suggestion was deliciously vulgar.
She could, with the way he was pressing inside her stretching her so fully it would take her no time at all even.
Burning with a mix of embarrassment and arousal, she lowered her trembling hand between her legs. Her fingers brushed her swollen clit, and she mewed at the contact. Slowly, she began to circle it, applying gentle pressure. She’d never touched herself in front of anyone before, and a flicker of shame mixed with the rising pleasure. 
Her body on the other hand was loving every second of it, ecstasy flooding her with every stroke as she felt herself squeezing around him tighter and tighter. Instinctively, her hips began to push back, impaling herself further on his cock, craving the friction. The closer she got to orgasm, the more desperate she became for him to move within her.
He grasped her hip, stilling her movement. “Ah-ah, no cheating, love.”
She whined again, the feel of his strong fingers gripping her skin causing a wave of anticipation to wash over her.
His cold breath against her neck sent shivers down her spine, heightening her sensitivity. She was so close, already fluttering around him. Every muscle tightened as she neared her peak. With a final sweep of her fingers, she moaned and toppled over the edge, squeezing him rhythmically as wave after wave of pleasure wracked her body.
He gasped against her neck, fighting the instinctive urge to thrust as her muscles clenched around him like a vise. But this little power play of his was way more delicious than he anticipated.
There was something rather fun about teasing her, pushing her buttons to see her squirm under his control. 
Finally, she relaxed against him, quiet gasps of exertion escaping her lips.
“Good girl” he purred in her ear and she blushed at the praise. Before she could reply, he withdrew almost completely, then thrust back in, filling her to the hilt. She gasped loudly, and he quickly covered her mouth with his hand.
“Come now, darling,” he whispered, his voice low and husky. “You didn’t think we were finished, did you? You deserve a proper reward.”
Her inner muscles tightened around him, welcoming him deep. With a few slow, deliberate thrusts, he felt himself nearing his own release. 
He pulled back again, dragging his cock out until only the very tip of him inside, slick with the juices of her climax. He inhaled sharply, then pushed back in, his body flush against hers. 
“Fuck,” he hissed, gripping her sumptuous ass to adjust her position, reveling in the warm heat of her contracting walls.
A sudden rustle of fabric tore through the night, startling them both. They froze, watching as Gale emerged from his tent and headed toward the woods.
Lazily Astarion began to move his hips once again, establishing a steady pace.
“Astarion!” she whispered, a mix of protest and arousal in her voice.
“What? He left.”
“He is going to come back!”
“Do you want to stop, darling?” he asked, still fucking her leisurely. 
“No,” she breathed.
“Say it.”
“Please don’t stop, Astarion.”
“Good girl.”
In truth he didn't relish the idea of being caught like this. Intimacy in private was always preferred when he could. 
But the little deviant in his arms seemed to love the idea. Tightening up around him at every rustle or creak in the night. 
The danger of the moment seemed to heighten her sensitivity, amplifying every touch and sending ripples of sensation through her.
The wet sounds of their coupling echoed obscenely in the night. As Gale's footsteps got louder and louder Thiriann felt the rush of panic and arousal rise in her chest. Her heartbeat sped up enticing him with it's melody just as she started fluttering around him again. 
She tried to stifle her gasps, but they escaped her lips as she neared her peak once more. 
Her hand shot up desperately trying to muffle herself as she was sent careening to the edge.
With a final, exquisite touch, she cried out softly, her body shuddering.
The world narrowed to Astarion. His touch felt electric, every point of contact magnified.
She quaked through the aftershocks, each one less intense as she remembered how to breathe again.
“Thiriann?” Gale’s voice called out, breaking through her pleasured haze. “Hey, Gale…It’s me and… Astarion. He was… hungry,” she managed, fighting impossibly hard to keep her voice steady.
She could only pray his eyes make out what was happening between them in the dark.
“I see,” Gale replied. “Carry on, if you must. But I implore you to exercise a modicum of discretion in the future. Perhaps a more private location would be better suited for such activities.”
She had no idea how he could still be half asleep and carry out a lecture like that.
“Right. Sorry, Gale.”
Relief washed over her as Gale retreated into his tent, closing it firmly for good measure. She relaxed against Astarion’s chest, a blissful smile on her face and he felt his own lips tug upwards.
Brushing a sweaty stand of hair from her forehead he caressed her cheek and turned her face towards him.
“Did you enjoy that darling?”
“It was incredible.” she whispered, her smile widening. Something tightened in his chest at her happy expression and he leaned down taking her lips in his. She responded by gently pressing hers back, barely a kiss but it send a shiver through him. His ignored member twitched inside of her and she gasped into his mouth.
“You still haven’t…?” she murmured.
“Don't fret darling. It was plenty satisfying bringing you to ecstasy. It's all the fulfillment I need.”
“You can… continue, if you want. Until you finish,” she suggested shyly.
He hesitated before schooling his face into a more practiced, nonchalant expression. “I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable should this end up taking too long.”
“I don’t mind if it does,” she said softly. “Take your time. I want you to feel good.”
Those words struck him with unexpected force, cracking his carefully constructed facade. Two centuries, countless lovers, and not one had bothered saying those words to him before. A genuine desire for his pleasure, freely offered. It was disarming.
He nodded stiffly, looking away before resuming his movements. Focusing on her and her pleasure was the only thing he was used to, and he felt strangely adrift, unsure of how to proceed when the focus was meant to be on himself.
He wrapped both arms around her middle, pulling her tightly to his body, burying his face in the back of her neck.
She responded by gently holding his hands in hers as she began to move against him, her hips grinding against his, trying to help him along.
He chased his pleasure, the sounds of their lovemaking growing louder in the night. She was incredibly sensitive; each thrust sent a wave of pleasure through her, so intense it bordered on pain, yet the feeling of him growing thicker inside her, his moans vibrating against her neck, was pure unadulterated bliss.
Her quiet moans filled the air as his pace quickened. He was so close, so very close but that precipice was so hard to reach sometimes. 
He rutted into her with a raw, almost wild abandon, his desperation becaming evident.
With an aborted, surprised gasp, he went hurtling over the ledge he’d been tiptoeing on since they began. He grunted and surged forward, burying himself fully within her as his seed spilled into her, finally releasing the tension that had been building within him.
White spots danced in his vision as he began to descend from the peak. Distantly he noticed her fingers were tracing idle circles on his arms as he slowly came down.
“Fangs?” Karlach’s voice, thick with sleep, cut through the night, making them separate instantly. “Bring me one of them boars you catch, okay? I’m starving…” she mumbled before rolling to her side and letting out a sleepy snore.
Astarion looked at her in disbelief and a touch of affront before he heard Thiriann snickering.
“I guess you’re on food duty tonight.”
He tucked himself back into his pants, shaking his head slightly at the absurdity of it all. 
Gods, they’d fucked in the middle of camp like a pair of green youths. Even he had to admit he’d gotten a little carried away in his desire to tease her.
 “Thank you, Astarion. I needed that,” she said, kissing his cheek.
It was a peck, barely a kiss really, a simple thank you. Yet it was sweet, almost as sweet as her blood. He had no idea what to do with it so he resorted to his practiced charm.
“You know where to find me if you find yourself in need of assistance in the future again, darling,” he said with a practiced, flirtatious smirk. “My tent is always open.”
And with that, he hurriedly walked into the woods.
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hunters-vigil · 3 days ago
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Pain Relieving Hugs
Summary: Reader is AFAB but using they/them pronouns (most of fic is in 2nd person) and has really bad periods. Reader has been seeing Xilonen but it's not official yet. This fic is a bit personal to my sufferings with my period over the last few months.
Warnings: talks of periods, it gets detailed when describing how the cramps hurt, painkillers not working, symptoms associated with periods, atypical symptoms according to google but i deal with them every month so ???, swearing, R is insecure about having rough periods. Originally the pronouns were going to be she/they in the fic but wasn't sure how well that translates, so... I wrote this for me😅
Fic under the cut, don't repost my stuff on other platforms, i have ao3.
Originally you thought you had over-done it when helping Kinich with some deliveries. Maybe Ajaw had been right about you dragging him down, affecting his efficiency. At least over-doing it would explain why you felt so worn out when you tried to get out of bed the next day.
Maybe you had eaten something that didn't agree with you. Maybe that was the reason why you could feel cramps in your abdomen, front, back, sides... like you were being stabbed from all angles with sharp weapons that Xilonen had crafted. She could make anything anyone wanted as long as they filled out the form well enough for her to understand.
It wasn't food you ate, or just regular over-doing it working. It was your period's warning signs. Signs that you began to recognise before it was too late. Unfortunately, nobody else had recognised them. Not even the woman you were seeing, whose workshop you would often visit if she wasn't sunbathing up a tree or napping somewhere.
The stabbing pains weren't extinguished by any of your attempts for painkillers. You were trying to be careful, but the first few days were always hell, and your only other option was what Chuychu had suggested as a remedy. It was better than nothing, but you forgot to pick up the remedy she suggested.
"Well, fuck me I guess..." you grumbled, leaning your arms on the table to try and block out the aches. The world was getting fuzzy, but you needed to try eat something. You were usually at Xilonen's workshop by now, but walking hurt horridly, barely being able to focus on your surroundings.
The food you managed to find was tasteless, your stomach too busy cramping to want to digest any of it, and your tiredness made it even more bland. The shower you had taken before it all got worse was the only refuge, not getting too lightheaded this time at least.
Sobs tried to claw their way up your throat, but you choked them down with the closest glass of water in reach. The chalky taste almost choking you.
Enough was enough. Wobbling like a baby deer, you forced yourself to walk back to your room, curling up under the blankets, regardless of the thin layer of sweat coating your skin, or how cold your hands felt against you as you held yourself to try self-soothe.
///
Meanwhile, Xilonen was stuck in her workshop. Her attempt to wrap up everyone's commissions for the day had been usurped by the Pyro Archon. Her Archon had broken her sunglasses again and wanted a new pair as soon as possible.
Mavuika had gone from shouting outside of her workshop for her, to trying to discuss intricate details that were unnecessary for anything but the paperwork Xilonen required regular customers to fill out. Things for the Archon were a little different however... Mavuika loved to talk through her ideas, how the shape could be altered a bit, the frame bridge of the sunglasses could be adjusted a little... fine, fine, fine. On the condition that the archon didn't ruin them two days later. Or the bike that was constantly being revised and took her three months to build...
"Where's your personal peacemaker anyway?" Mavuika enquired playfully, a smirk on her lips as she glanced around the workshop, wondering if Xilonen had hidden you somewhere.
"Uh, what? My personal what-now? Oh, because they stopped us arguing last time?" Xilonen frowned, recalling you had said she would see you tomorrow, yesterday, which was today, "honestly, I have no idea. They're usually here by now."
"Are they now?" Mavuika raised an eyebrow, smirking until Xilonen huffed.
"Do you want your sunglasses fixing or not, Mavuika? Because teasing me about my- the person I'm seeing isn't helping."
"You two aren't official yet?" Mavuika's curiosity spoke for itself, even as Xilonen distracted herself by looking at blueprints, the furnace, anything but to tell her archon about her relationship. "What happened?"
"They just thought that they overdid it yesterday when they were helping Kinich. Ajaw can be too much with them too. They'd usually be here by now..." Xilonen confessed, not usually one to want her stress to eat away at her. Maybe it was different with her when it came to you.
"How much work do you have left today?"
"Besides your sunglasses, nothing that can't be done tomorrow." Taking one glance at her comissioned work, she sighed, giving Mavuika a pointed look.
"Fine... go check on your lover. Ask them out and I'll forgive you for delaying my sunglasses until tomorrow."
"You're lucky you're the Archon." Xilonen gave rolled her eyes at Mavuika's teasing teasing, heading out of her workshop and making a beeline for where you lived.
///
The curtains of your house were still shut, and the delivery of fruit and vegetables that she could only assume was from Ifa was untouched on your doorstep.
Her knuckles against the door produced no sign of life, and kicking your door in wasn't exactly the greatest plan... but she could make you a new door, if she needed to.
Scouring her surroundings, Xilonen spotted the plants on your porch, unlike her own, they were budding with life. Nudging each pot carefully, she eventually found the key to your front door.
An empty glass and a plate covered in crumbs laid in the kitchen, abandoned. From what she could tell, the chair had fallen back from someone standing up, but there was no sign of you so far.
She knew where you slept, she had been there a few times, but you two had only made out a few times there. Never any further, especially when there was a lack of official titles for the relationship so far.
The door stood ajar, the curtains closed, and a blanket was half on the floor. Xilonen couldn't help the sigh that escaped her lips, spotting you curled up under another blanket, fast asleep.
Her footsteps quiet on the floor, Xilonen gently stroked your face, smiling as you began to stir with a whine.
"Mm... Xilonen?" your eyes barely opened, looking up at her tiredly as a tired smile crossed your face.
"How are you feeling?" the geo vision holder enquired, her hand resting on your forehead, noticing how warm you felt, "are you sick? Your forehead feels warm."
"No. I, ugh, I feel like a blood bath... and like my insides are being churned up in a bread mixer." You immediately grimaced, trying to hide under the blanket but any and all movements felt like you were being stabbed in the abdomen. "Sorry, that's so... too much information. You can go, I'll be fine."
"Is it usually this bad?" Xilonen shook her head, sitting on the edge of the bed to coax you out of the blanket.
"Usual painkiller remedies stopped working. Forgot to pick up a new one to try out... I'm sorry, this is all really gross. I didn't want you to see me like this." You fought back tears of frustration, trying to fight back the thoughts in your head, telling you that you had ruined everything. You really liked Xilonen, but being reduced to this once a month? You didn't blame her if she wanted to leave and not come back.
"Hey, it's okay. You're not gross, you just have really bad periods, onesleave you in bed all day." Xilonen replied, stroking your face as you looked at her with watery eyes.
"You came here during your work hours?"
"Well, you got me out of listening to Mavuika's sunglasses specifications again. Plus, I was worried about you. She noticed, and said her sunglasses could wait, so I made my way here." Xilonen explained, shuffling down to lay on the bed with you after removing her vision necklace so you'd both be more comfortable.
Burying your face in her chest, you held onto Xilonen to absorb her comfort, feeling her arms around you, holding you close. A soft rumble underneath you led to your eyes flickering, burying your face further into Xilonen as she purred, snuggling her face into the crown of your head.
"Do you want me to make you some food? It might help you feel better..." Xilonen proposed after a while, feeling you let out a soft sigh against her skin, "I brought in the fruit and vegetables that Ifa left on your doorstep."
"Okay, but can we stay like this a bit longer? You're hot, and you smell really nice." You sneakily moved your head up to press a kiss to her jaw, unable to reach her cheek.
"Oh, uh, thank you, sweetheart." Xilonen flustered, trying to fight against how her tail swept side to side, displaying how happy she was feeling.
"Was that too much?" you asked after a while, your eyes fluttering open to try gauge how Xilonen felt at your affection.
"No, no, it was fine, I like you a lot so, I'm not opposed to this. Especially these naps, it was about time for me to have one anyway. So having one with you, my- having one with you, is nice." Xilonen corrected herself quickly, a small smile creeping onto your face, but slightly moving yourself wiped it away with a pained grimace. Your body just had to remind you of your cramping.
"You can call me what you want, as long as it's not derogatory. Moving hurts, can we stay like this a bit longer?" your request was granted, as Xilonen answered by snuggling you closer, closing her eyes to go back to sleep. She'd like to call you hers, she thinks. But that conversation can wait a little longer, since it's time for a nap...
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rin-art-fanfic-universe · 2 days ago
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OMG I LOVE UR WORK!!!
Could you maybe do something whit souya kawata? I love him so much😭
Thank you bb 💕
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Souya Kawata || HCs
if you got caught up in a dangerous area
• Sweet lil bean who would care too much.
• After every fight, Souya would be the one to check on all their squad members to make sure no one is injured too heavily.
• If you were in the area and he happened to notice, he would approach you with his signature pissed off face and angry demeanor. "It's dangerous to hang out here." He would say, in an oddly kind and wholesome manner.
• Souya would be awkward and a little hesitant to talk to girls. He doesn't talk much to anyone in the first place, but in his interactions with girls, he'd be worse than Hakkai. He would not say much and would avoid looking into their eyes. "I don't want to make them uncomfortable or intimidated..." He'd say.
• You'd run into him in an electronics shop. A bright smile in his direction would earn you an awkward nod from him. He'd be surprisingly knowledgeable about a lot of things related to computers, gadgets, games, and such. You'd feel like he's a lot easier to talk to than you thought earlier.
• Then a few days later you would see him on the ground next to a vending machine, beating the hell out of some guys. Blood dripping from his knuckles and a teeth fallen on the ground beside his victim while his other opponents flee the scene. He would seem so different with a crazy smile on his face, a malicious laugh you'd never imagine coming from him. You'd notice the change in his hair colour, a bright orange instead of the blue you saw the other day. "Did something happen to him?" You'd wonder.
• "S- Souya-kun," You'd carefully approach him despite being warned against it by others who were terrified to see a fight in broad daylight.
• When he'd turn around, he'd smile at you brightly, no hint of recognition in his eyes. "Ya need something from me?" His orange hair and blood-covered face would feel unfamiliar and you'd look at him in confusion.
• A warm hand would wrap around your wrist and pull you away from the scene. You'd look back and forth between the person holding your hand and the guy beating up some delinquents on the sidewalk.
• Souya's hold would be firm, yet gentle and would make you feel safe. He wouldn't even hurt a girl by accident. Turning around, you'd see the same blue hair and green jacket you remember from the last time you met him. He'd take you into a quiet alleyway so you can talk. "Why are you always looking for trouble? I told you this area is dangerous." He'd ask, with the same grumpy voice, yet you'd easily notice the concern behind it.
• "I thought you... near the vending machine..." You'd struggle to form words with Souya's hand still holding yours. Souya would nod in understanding. "Ah, that's Naoya, my brother. Don't mind him, he's not a bad guy." He would reassure.
•When Souya would finally realise that he's been holding your wrist for a while now, his eyes would go wide and he'd immediately let go. "Sorry.." He'd say, barely audible. "Earlier... were you scared? Too much blood..." You'd shake your head in response and tell him that you were just surprised and not scared. "I'll take you home. Stay here, don't go, I'll get my bike." And he'd jog back to retrieve his bike so he can safely take you home.
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dreamingthroughwords · 5 months ago
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i could write like a 100000 word essay on hualian & their love but right now i’m thinking about just how tender it is and how they are with each other. the way they both show their love differently - hua cheng protecting, fighting, forming himself for 800 years for his beloved; xie lian with touch, grabbing hua cheng’s hand without thinking as the novel goes along before they get together and frequently thinking of him & always wanting hua cheng to be there so he can be the first person xie lian tells everything too, how xie lians confession of love was a simple hug but said “i love you” without him having to say it. their love shows in their actions, words, thoughts, in everything they do and that core love between them that bleeds through each page of the novel, the main story and the extras, is so tender, full of hope that there is someone out there who will understand you like no one else, someone who will stick by you at your worst and stay. hualian embody such tender love for each other that the the book ending with “no paths are bound”!” is just. there’s so many ways to interpret it but their love for each other is always, always at the centre of it
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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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sayheykid · 10 months ago
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i genuinely don't think a story's worldbuilding and lore has ever drawn me in the way that check please did. it's been years and i still think about it every day. the characters and plot were always superb but i think what has stuck with me the most is the depth of the settings and how everything feels so lived in and tangible. everyone wants to make a fake world and town and university but no one else has EVER done it that well
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iamnotlookingidonotseeit · 3 months ago
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sometimes I tell my parents things. often then i wonder why i even open my mouth. but when I keep it light I end up wondering why I can't seem to connect on any real kind of level. and I add another thing to the list for therapy
#my mom is politely skeptical about whether i should be on anxiety meds and i don't even know why i even brought it up#to the woman who says she 'just quit worrying' after she almost died in her 30s#not all of us can just. do that#she said her friend she's been taking care of has anxiety n depression and she 'gets it more now' so i think she was trying to be supportive#but i don't think she gets what i mean when i say i've been full of paralyzing dread pretty much every day since i became self aware#legit i do not know why i brought it up. getting different meds is a thought i've only entertained a little bit for a long while#not really substantial enough to bring up nor really anyone's business but mine#i think maybe i just want to know my family cares. like maybe she could ask 'why do you think different meds would help?'#but our family doesn't communicate like that or at least her part of it doesn't. and me and t learned it from her#we take a side immediately when we don't feel certain and express doubts like facts instead of asking questions#that has been a skill i've been trying to learn#to ask questions before taking a side or forming an opinion even#common sense but not to all#anyway we went back to talking about their upcoming trip#i think the thing we connected most genuinely on was she wanted to know how things are at work for me since it's been stressful#she formed a lot of her identity around being competent and respected at work#and i think she finds it easier to say 'i want you to be successful and secure in the world' than 'i want you to be happy'#i don't think she'd articulate it that way. but i think that's a kind of 'happy' that makes sense to her on a gut level. that she Gets more#she finds comfort and security there and she wants it for her kids too#and i know we can connect on some other things. music. cooking. science. but i don't think she gets me in certain ways i wish she would#i love my mom a lot i just sometimes want her to hug me for longer
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piknim · 6 months ago
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It is very hard for me to change oc designs for some reason but i had a great idea for one and it actually is motivating me to figure out how to draw him
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roastedoatmilk · 2 months ago
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Arcane Women Strap Hcs
characters: sevika, vi, caitlyn, mel, ambessa
A/N barely proofread sorry, also my first time writing for arcane please be kind 🙈 i hope y’all enjoy lmk your thoughts :)
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Sevika
first things first she has a dark purple strap i’m talking almost the same color that shimmer is and boy does she know how to use it
whenever she pulls the strap out be prepared to not be able to walk the next day
she prefers to fuck you in missionary but if she had to choose a different position it would be fucking you from the bottom, she just loves to be able to see your face while she pleasures you
her strap game is DIABOLICAL, she always makes sure to hit that spot inside you that makes you let out a squeal and causes your toes to curl
honestly she could just cum from fucking you alone but if you feel up to it once she’s done with you she loves when you eat her out after
“that’s it baby, you’re taking me so well just a little more”
Vi
vi screams black strap to me like it just makes sense
she prefers to fuck you slow and DEEP, i’m talking girly lifts your hips off the bed and grips them so hard that you can feel bruises form
shes so cocky about it too like she knows she’s good
vi’s another one that could cum from pleasuring you alone and 9/10 times she does, however the one time she doesn’t she will literally sit on your face once you’re well enough to take care of her
“that feel good pretty girl ? yeah i know it does, you’re always so good for me”
Caitlyn
dark blue strap sorry yall i don’t make the rules
caitlyn loves when you’re on top and she’s fucking you from below
she revels in the sight of you falling apart above her while she’s gripping your hips guiding you
she’s 100% a brat tamer and you can��t tell me any different
“oh darling is it too much ? you shouldn’t have behaved like that if you didn’t want me to fuck you like this”
Mel
HEAR YE HEAR YE she has a gold strap idc idc
mel also likes it when you’re on top however she prefers to gently guide your movements while she praises you
don’t let that mislead you tho shes a HUGE tease
she can and will make you edge yourself until you’re literally crying begging her to let you cum
“ my love you look so beautiful when you ask nicely like that, go ahead and take what you need”
Ambessa
ruby red strap that’s all imma say
the cruelest of the bunch, she’s not afraid to leave you dry while she takes what she needs
another brat tamer yall you love to see it
she doesn’t make love she FUCKS, be prepared to constantly be buying new headboards
she makes you suck on her strap NEXTTTTT
“sweet girl did you think i’m finished with you ? no no we aren’t done until you can’t remember anything but my name”
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sttoru · 6 months ago
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Omg could we see reader getting jealous of Sukuna having sec with his other concubines? And maybe liek the other concubine rubs it in readers face?
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 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (no comfort), suggestive \\ smut aspects. size difference. one tiny mention of reader being a crybaby. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’ \\ kuna’s an asshole! not proofread, excuse the grammar. no part 2. wc: 3.3k
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you’ve been away from the estate for three days; three days too long for the king of curses. so much had happened while you were away to take some well deserved rest—a small vacation that sukuna had granted you because you needed it.
perhaps that was his first mistake. giving you permission to leave his side ended up being a bad decision. he hates that faint feeling in his chest, the feeling of missing something.
missing someone.
it couldn’t be. sukuna doesn’t have any weaknesses, and yet he can feel his body reacting to that unfamiliar emotion again. all because of you— that one human who always succeeds to occupy his mind.
he couldn’t let himself succumb to it—he’s not going to. sukuna is not going to let a mere human like you deter him from his superior identity that he’s had for decennia. he’s not going to let you have that power over him and his body.
and thus, when you return to the estate, you find yourself being laughed at. you were unpacking your luggage when two concubines stand at your doorway, hiding their evil smiles behind their handheld fans.
they don’t waste a single second and immediately rush to ruin your carefree mood.
“you know, you shouldn’t have returned at all,” the brunette giggles, her laugh sounding like nails scraping against a chalkboard. she looks to the other woman next to her before glancing back at you, “i mean—heh—lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence.”
you figure it’s just another way to get you riled up, so you do your best to ignore them. you put your packed kimonos in your wardrobe as your back faces the two.
yumi, the second concubine, nods along. she knows what she’s about to reveal will get on your nerves. and deserved, if you ask her. they had successfully caught the attention of their king while you were away. for the first time in a good while since your arrival in the estate.
the fact that they managed to spend quality time with sukuna again, is a wonderful first step to your downfall. one that will surely crumble your confidence as his so-called ‘favorite’.
“mhm,” yumi grins as she recalls the memories of her time with sukuna. time spent together that you were unaware of, “lord sukuna definitely didn’t seem to mind your absence when he had me in his bed last night.”
you freeze.
your brows furrow and the corners of your lips twitch. you don’t know if you should believe them—they could’ve lied about it for all you know. although, the voice in the back of your head had already rang the alarms.
guessing by the way they were dying to talk to you the second you came back - which never happens - you realise that they’re probably telling the truth. they’re only telling the truth to agitate you. it’s so painfully obvious, and yet so. . . hurtful.
“what?”
you don’t recall when you’ve choked up. you feel a lump in your throat. it shouldn’t even be there. you promised yourself to not get attached to a monster like sukuna.
so what if he went to bed with his other concubines?
but of course he’ll get pleasure from his other women when you aren’t around. he doesn’t feel any love, he sees it as worthless, so why did you expect him to not indulge himself? he still has his other concubines around for a reason.
you really shouldn’t be surprised by this revelation.
“what do you mean ‘what?’ - you heard me,” yumi shrugs, that cocky smirk still on her face. she’s clearly enjoying your reaction to everything she’s revealing. all the two concubines wanted to get out of this encounter with you, is to break that delusion of yours.
the delusional thought that you’re special to the king of curses—the delusion that sukuna considers you as something more than a toy to emotionally manipulate and play with until he’s tired of you.
“my lord spent all night with me in his chambers until the sun rose,” yumi continues without an ounce of shame. she bites her lip as she remembers the way sukuna had her body positioned on his large bed. for her, it was a dream come true.
though for you, it’s a living nightmare. even if you try to deny the fact that it physically and mentally hurts. there’s a painful twist at your heart—reminding you of the truth.
the truth being that you had truly thought that sukuna wasn’t really a monster of a man. you thought he was a different, more softer person around you.
you should’ve listened to the servants when they told you to not get tricked by sukuna’s special treatment, that he could easily manipulate you and make you do and act as he pleases.
“do you want me to explain it in detail?” yumi crosses her arms over her chest as she looks down at you with a menacing glare. both of the concubines are loving that face you’re making. that face of defeat that you’re attempting to hide from them, “how he held me and pleasured me until i—”
“enough,” you cut them off with your hands clenched into fists. you don’t want to hear another word. you’re already feeling awful; already, not even an hour into your return. you can never catch a break.
you have an urge to throw things around. you already feel stupid, and if you decide to throw a fit, you bet that you’d feel even dumber. you truly do not know why you’re getting this worked up about it.
maybe it’s because of the special treatment. the delusional thoughts you have about your relationship with sukuna. you really thought that you two had something special. an unofficial romantic relationship, perhaps, or something that resembles it.
a secret, unspoken deal where you’re promised his loyalty in exchange for your body and soul.
although, those dreams have been shattered this very instance. you’re once again reminded of the animalistic nature of the being called ryomen sukuna.
he told you clearly that he’d never tie himself to someone, a human no less. devotion to one person? why would he.
“out of the way.”
you push the brunette and her sidekick the other way. you’re going to confront the man yourself. or at least, you’ll try to. you can hear their sick laughs and chuckles fade into the background as you stomp your way towards sukuna’s chambers.
the other concubines seem to have gotten the gist. some peek their heads out of their rooms, grinning at you in victory. seeing your confidence slowly crumble and the realisation kick in - the realisation that your dear lord’s special treatment means absolutely nothing - is a sight for sore eyes to them.
you enter sukuna’s room and close the heavy doors behind you. you swallow the lump down your throat and try your best to look presentable.
no tears, you promise yourself. you’re not going to waste them on something like this.
“oh, it’s you, little one,” the familiar voice calls out. sukuna’s low and husky voice rings from his bed. he’s laid back against the many silky pillows, blowing smoke from his kiseru. he lays there like he doesn’t care about your reappearance at all.
he eyes you up and down, “how was your vacation, hm?”
sukuna asks like it’s the most normal thing to do. it seems like he’s trying to catch up with you, to ask you how you’ve been enjoying your time alone, though it also seems like he couldn’t care less at the same time.
“just absolutely fine, my lord,” you reply with gritted teeth and an obvious hint of sarcasm. there’s also a bitterness to your tone that doesn’t go unnoticed by the pink-haired man. he frowns—this cold greeting is not what he expected nor what he wanted to hear from your mouth. he expected you to at least smile at him like you usually do, but you didn’t.
on top of that, you seemed to be annoyed with him. that unexpected attitude of yours made something inside of him snap. it irritated him somehow; the fact that you’re so comfortable talking to him like that . . . it reminded him of the recent inner conflict he had which you were the cause of.
one of his hands tightens into a fist at his side. his jaw clenches and his eyes narrow into slits. you’re physically in front of him, which means that he’s also about to experience those complicated feelings again. the same ones he tried fleeing from by letting you go on a break, and by physically taking his mind off you.
he did the latter by taking his frustrations out on his other women. the stress that came with the thought of him possibly liking a human, relieved by pure animalistic sex.
that’s exactly what you’re upset about.
there’s an urge inside of sukuna to act normal. to ignore those difficult emotions and just treat you like he usually does. yet, another part of him is trying to protect his sense of superiority by trying to push you away.
there’s a war going on in his mind as he tries to calm himself down. you’ve always had this effect on him and it’s becoming unbearable. he has to show you, no - remind you, that you’re nothing to him. you mean nothing—nothing at all.
he’s the king of curses, you’re but a human. he’ll need to remind himself of that obvious statement as well. he’s got all the power in this situation. not you.
you cannot rule over him or his mind.
“you dare come back with an attitude? tch,” sukuna scoffs, nearly breaking the kiseru with his fingers as they squeeze around the solid material. he’s turning off whatever emotion present in his body. that doesn’t belong there anyway. he won’t care if you cry—he won’t care at all.
you notice the sudden change in sukuna’s tone as well. you’re sure you’re the reason for it. perhaps you crossed a boundary with how sassily you replied to him when he was simply asking you how your vacation went.
“my apologies,” you murmur with a sigh. you try to avoid getting on sukuna’s nerves any further, yet when you remember the words from the concubine, how she implied that sukuna had given her the best night of her life when you were away, you get mad again.
your eyes have a fiery look in them. you don’t want to get worked up. you don’t have the right to. you were warned from the very beginning to not get attached to an asshole like ryomen sukuna.
you’re to blame for feeling like this. it could’ve been prevented if you just weren’t so weak. if you just stayed away from him.
“did you have fun while i was away, my lord?” you continue, your voice shaking a little. you need the confirmation. you’re sure sukuna knows what you’re referring to by now, especially because of the way you’re acting out of character.
the king of curses raises a brow at your question. you sound even angrier, even more pissed off. he tilts his head after taking a deep inhale of the tobacco from his kiseru. he tries to figure out what you’re hinting at, “what are you—”
and that’s when everything fell into place. the dots connect.
sukuna’s jaw clenches. he realises that you’ve found out about him receiving services from his other concubines while you were away. there could be no other explanation behind your sudden attitude. besides, he knows how his other concubines could be. they must have told you the moment you came back.
normally, he’d say that it’s none of your business. what he does is up to him—he does not care about the consequences of his actions. though, seeing the slight hurt in your eyes, mixed with sadness and disappointment stirred something inside of him. he brushes that feeling away and stares at you intently, awaiting another comment. perhaps you’d cuss him out or bawl your eyes out in front of him.
either way, he promises himself that he won’t care.
sukuna is the king of curses. feeling bad for a human like you would only further tarnish his image, that image of superiority and power he has.
he’s a man of many needs. you should’ve kept that in mind when you left him. he wanted to keep you with him—to hold you down and refuse to let you leave—but that would be another sign of weakness. one sukuna could not manage to show.
when you departed, he was irritated by the fact that he had no one to turn to with his needs. from simple needs like wanting your company to sexual needs like craving your body.
keeping you by his side or letting you go; both decisions seem to clash. either way, there’s one thing he’s sure of, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it: he missed you.
sukuna can’t believe that he can feel an emotion like that. he can’t accept that fact. that’s why his irrational mind took over—his dark urges that strived to prove himself to still be the same old ryomen sukuna. the monster that did not need a single soul. the ruthless man that did not depend on anyone else, especially not a human. a woman like you.
he thought he’d forget all about you if he’s surrounded himself with other women. but, he was quick to be proven wrong, and that only caused to enrage him more and more.
every time sukuna fucked a concubine, his thoughts still manage to drift away to you. to how he wished that it was you he was holding.
nothing hit the same with the other women and that frustrated him. he’d keep them around in his room after he fucked their brains out, something he never allowed a woman to do except for you, yet kicked them out again after a few minutes.
it doesn’t hit the same.
you’re just different. your presence is soothing and calming to the chaotic soul of the pink-haired man. no one else could compare. that realisation made him feel inferior; a feeling he loathes.
sukuna’s red eyes glow. he hates seeing you look so defeated, but he cannot give in. if he tells you the truth, he’ll admit his weakness. he’ll admit that a human like you has completely taken over his brain. that’s no good.
if he doesn’t tell you the truth, he’ll save face. he’ll feel like himself again. his old self—the cold ruthless monster that he was before he met you. one without a soft spot for a human.
it’s an active dilemma that’s running through his mind as he slowly blows out another cloud of smoke. you cannot guess what’s going on behind those intimidating eyes staring you down.
sukuna tilts his head back and scratches his neck, smacking his lips as he makes his decision.
“yeah, i did. i had lots of fun.”
the words sting. they hurt you and make your heart ache in a way that makes you physically weak. you should’ve expected that answer. your shoulders tense up and your fingers curl around the material of your kimono—feeling a sense of anger and betrayal.
you can see a ghost of a smirk on sukuna’s lips, which only reminds you of his nature. his nature as an independent, aloof and cold man who likes to play with his prey. a natural disaster that knows no emotion, that shows no mercy to anyone.
you’re naive for thinking that you could be the exception. all of those times with sukuna were confirmed to be but a lie in that moment. as your gazes meet, you can now easily interpret what that look in those red eyes meant.
‘know your place,’
that’s what it means. you’re foolish, dumb. you take a deep breath to compose yourself after you���ve been made out to be a total fool. you should’ve listened to those warnings, you should’ve known that you were getting played.
this is exactly what sukuna desired to achieve. to build up your trust, to make you comfortable enough with him, to think you’re special and that he won’t need any other woman other than you — just to shatter your pathetic delusions when the time comes.
“tsk tsk. no need to look at me like that,” sukuna scoffs, a mocking laugh leaving his lips. he can hear a small voice in the back of his head telling him to shut up and let you go, to not make it worse, but who is he to listen to that irrelevant thought? he can decide for himself.
“y’ weren’t around, so the other concubines simply did their job by serving me,” he stares the other way, seemingly not interested by your presence anymore. his face is as expressionless as ever, “what do y’ think i keep them ‘round for, brat? for decoration purposes? hah, nah.”
another loud mocking laugh makes you nearly burst out in tears. you don’t know if it’s in anger or sadness. you take a deep, shaky breath for the last time. you unclench your fists and nod, accepting the reality check you’d just gotten.
it’s a slap to the face, but it helped you get out of your delusions. the delusions that sukuna is a man capable of loving someone, even if it is just for a tiny bit. this visit confirmed that there’s not an ounce of love or appreciation in that man’s body.
“i’m glad you had fun, my lord,” you answer after a bit of silence. you bow at sukuna in an attempt to stay polite while struggling with that inner turmoil. you don’t even glance up at him anymore. you need another break already.
sukuna isn’t dumb. you may think that you’re good at hiding your emotions, but you’re not. at least not around the king of curses. he’s spent enough time around you to realise that you’re going through a lot right now.
he’s the reason for it, yet he cannot bring himself to feel an ounce of empathy. he just looks at you with a blank stare, thinking that this is for the best.
“good night then,” you add and turn around to walk out of sukuna’s room. your steps are slow as you secretly hope to be called back, like sukuna would do every time you’d leave his room after an intimate night. you just want him to tell you that this was a test of some sort—a cruel joke.
you want to feel like his favorite again. you don’t want to be thrown away like this. you don’t want to be on the same level as all the other concubines. you want to stand out to him.
unfortunately, you don’t hear sukuna’s voice anymore. he lets you walk away without a care in the world. the heavy doors of his chambers close behind you and you feel your knees buckle. “fuck,” you cuss to yourself and clench your chest.
you lean back against the closed doors and try to regain your composure. crying can be done when you’re in your room—not in the hallway where anyone could catch you. you don’t want to give the other concubines more reason to bully you.
you drag your feet across the wooden flooring. all those times with sukuna, all those slight glimpses of his soft side that only you’re allowed to see— all of that is thrown into the trash.
you really shouldn’t have gotten so attached to him on an emotional level.
meanwhile, sukuna is silently sitting on his bed, thinking back to what just happened. he usually never doubts his decisions, but this is an exception. why couldn’t he just tell you the truth?
his mouth had moved before he could let his mind process all that he was feeling. a small part of him regrets it, though strangely, he couldn’t feel any real sympathy for your situation.
sukuna drapes an arm over his eyes, clicking his tongue at himself. he just wants to let the situation go, though his brain isn’t letting him to. the image of you standing at the edge of his bed, clearly hurt by his actions, flashes through his mind again.
he sighs. he’s sure that he’s going to forget about you soon enough. he needed an excuse to get rid of you for the sake of regaining control over his own being and he took the chance. he should be glad that he did—it meant that he’d be his usual self—with no weaknesses to look out for.
sukuna blows out another cloud of smoke through his mouth. as much as he’s proud of himself for not giving in to you, he can’t help but let his thoughts wander again. you’re probably crying in your room. he knows you’re sensitive. you would always cry about the smallest of things and he’d hold you (feigning reluctance) until you’ve calmed down.
he can’t do that now.
well, he can, but he won’t. sukuna has made his decision today: it’s power and status over you. that’s what it’s always been. you were but a toy he used to get a stronger grip on himself.
perhaps he simply is what people make him out to be; a monster. nothing more, nothing less.
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babycharmander · 6 months ago
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
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[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
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espinosaurusrexex · 2 months ago
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Bucky who starts a purely platonic physical touch giving friendship with reader… until it turns into more
・゚✫* 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡  。✭・゚
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It starts off so innocently. Bucky just sat really close to you one day and noticed how the touch of your shoulder on his made him tingly all over.
The same happened when your hand brushed his, or you passed close by, and he caught a whiff of your hair - something that reminds him of the feeling he now seeks out when you’re around.
It’s no secret that either of you have been single a long time with basically no prospects for a future relationship, so no one questions when you and him suddenly hang out more.
He invites you over when you ask him if he was okay, and he realized that his day was in fact crappy and that if you offered to talk to him, he’d tell you all about it.
And when you sit on the sofa listening to Bucky talk, your hand instinctively found his and before Bucky knew it, his head was pressed into your shoulder, your nails raking over his scalp releasing a feeling within him, he can only describe as heavenly.
He loves it when you comfort him, and he loves comforting you, somehow knowing that you need this part of your friendship just as much as he does.
So it becomes a regular thing: when the rest of the team returns home to their spouses after a tiring mission, you and Bucky retreat to either one of your apartments under the pretense of not wanting to be alone.
Of course, neither of you planned for it to become so touchy and intimate... no, that would be insane, right?
It’s a normal afternoon for the two of you, hanging out at your place, a movie playing on TV, Bucky’s head buried in your chest as he lays half on top of you and you with your back against the sofa. Your hand rakes over his hair as his are halfway tugged beneath your body, seeking all the warmth he can get.
The physical touch aspect of your relationship has somehow crossed the lines between friends, but neither of you care. It feels too good to be held and protected to stop.
Bucky hasn't felt the caring touch of a partner in decades and you... well, let's just say that all men before Bucky didn't feel the need to express their love through aftercare - not that Bucky is in any way shape or form about to give said aftercare... no, you are just friends. Just. Friends.
Friends who frequently hide their hands in the other's jacket when the cold catches up to them.
Friends who bury their faces in each other's chest and lap like it is the most normal thing a person can do to another.
Friends who somehow always wonder if the other feels that spark ignite whenever they hold each other close.
Bucky feels the sensation when he's practically caging you beneath his upper body of the sofa. He lifts his head as he usually does to see if maybe this time he could magically hear your thoughts.
"What's up?"
He shakes his head. "I just really enjoy this." he mumbles and blushes, and your hand suddenly stops its path along his scalp.
"Me too." you smile and look into his eyes.
normally he'd put his head back, and you'd resume watching the movie, but something is different today.
maybe it's the way his hair looks perfectly tousled by your constant motions, or maybe it's the way he slowly blinks at you like a very comfortable pet.
but you finally find the courage to kiss him.
Follow my library blog for fic updates! @espinosaurusrexex-library
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rhaenyratargcryen · 5 months ago
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you're my shotgun lover and i want it all | tyler owens (twisters)
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masterlist ❈
summary: Every once in a while, the two of you will get a little too drunk, stay until last call, sneak back to your motel room, and fuck. Nobody knows – at least you don’t think they do – and you never talk about it when you’re sober. Tyler will generally stay until you fall asleep, but he’s always gone when you get up the next day. Only once has he woken up in bed with you the next morning, and you’ve never made that mistake again. There isn’t a name for what you feel for him, you don’t think, and you can’t tell what he thinks of the arrangement. Clearly he likes it, or he wouldn’t be making eyes at you from across three people’s laps as you pull these peanuts from their shells. author's note: i...wrote this...in one.......single......afternoon. my fingers hurt anyway he's so hot i have had a crush on glen powell since 2018 (set it up supremacy) but this movie reawakened something in me. i should probably watch top gun now
pairing: tyler owens x f!reader word count: 9,123 (...oopsie) warnings/tags: pWp (with, y'all!), alternate universe: canon divergence, friends to lovers, friends with benefits
also cross-posted to ao3 okay love you bye xoxo your comments and reblogs are appreciated but not required i will love you all the same i hope u like !!!! <3
all characters are 18+ these are 18+ activities minors pls do not interact my eye is twitching as i write this 
It has been one hell of a week.
The tornadic activity has been off the charts – more storms built up under ideal conditions for weather hell-bent on destruction in a multiple-day stretch than you can remember ever tracking before. Your team had obviously been up for the chase, but now that the storms have passed, and the sun shines on the cleanup efforts, you can’t help but wish you’d chosen a different life path. You love what you do, but God, were you tired. Blisters have formed on the palms of your hands despite the gloves you’d donned. You could practically feel the knots forming in your neck. You shovel one more load of leaf litter before heaving the blade into the ground and leaning against it. Across from you, a backhoe is demolishing and excavating the remains of a house.
You close your eyes and try to just let the sun warm your face, thinking about how fast it can all just be gone. Mother Nature’s a beautiful force, but she can be cruel.
“Hey, don’t be slowin’ down on me,” Tyler jokes, clapping a hand between your shoulder blades. You hadn’t heard him approach, and his voice has startled you, pulling you from your thoughts. “We’re ‘bout halfway done with our part, I think.”
“No,” you reply, swiping the back of your arm across your forehead, trying in vain to clear your bangs from your eyes, but they won’t budge. Tyler reaches up and, almost as if he isn’t even thinking about it, takes the unruly pieces of hair between his thumb and forefinger and tucks it behind your ear, underneath the temple of your sunglasses, to make sure it stays this time. The action is so intimate it sends a flush crawling up your neck. You chance a look around to make sure no one else has seen. “Not slowin’ down, I promise. Just thinking about how lucky we are to be alive. How sad it is that all these people just lost everything.”
You’ve known Tyler since the two of you were in college together, fast friends who’d stuck together through a lot that could've put a strain on any other relationship, although you hadn’t studied meteorology – you’d been in school to be a librarian. 
One night, he’d asked you to stay up and help him with a lab he’d missed for one of his classes, and he loves to say he knew it then – that you were hooked – but you were too far along in your degree to do anything about it now. Switching from an arts degree to one in STEM? You’d have had to start over from scratch. 
Tyler had formed his team while you were in grad school and he was working as a cowboy for the rodeo back home, and you’d dropped out without a second thought when he asked you to be a founding member, to travel the country with him every tornado season. Said he wouldn’t – couldn’t – think about doing it without you. You’ve been riding with him ever since.
The two of you share everything, always have, and sometimes you wonder if it might be too much for the professional relationship you’re supposed to have.
“That’s what we’re here for,” Tyler grins, the hand still glued to your back rubbing gently, sending goosebumps across your skin under your shirt. “To help ‘em feel like their luck is turnin’.”
Always the optimist, Tyler Owens. He clears his throat, the hand on your back pulling away, and steps slightly closer to you.
“One of the folks over there gave these to me,” he says, gesturing to a group of people gathering in front of a house that looks like something had tried to suck it into the ground from dead center. “I saved their cat from their screened-in porch, poor thing had been yowling all night apparently. Know these’re your favorite, so, here you go. I think you earned it.”
You take the tin from him and open it, your mouth instantly watering at the sight of the small, round butter cookies inside. “God,” you groan, picking one up and taking a bite, savoring it over your tongue. You can feel Tyler watching you carefully. “Thank you. You get me.”
“Do we get cookies, Tyler?”
Lily’s voice sounds from your left, and you glance over at her. The shit-eating look on her face tells you she did see Tyler fix your hair for you. Your stomach somersaults.
“If you’re good,” Tyler says, smirking, “after the sun sets, we can head back to the motel, find some shitty bar, and drinks’ll be on me, okay? How’s that sound?”
Lily whoops, turning to Dani, who’d since appeared beside her, and the two snicker and fist bump. 
“You need any help over here?”
You look back at Tyler, cupping one hand above your eyes to shield them from the sunlight. Despite your glasses, it shines bright from directly behind him, and you can hardly stand to look at him. 
“Yeah, I’m good,” you murmur in reply, bending down to toss some siding that had been blown off one of the houses on this street into the wheelbarrow you’ve been using. “You should go see what Boone’s up to – I don’t think anyone has seen him in a minute.”
No doubt Boone was hiding somewhere with one of the breakfast burritos Lily and Dani have been rolling since early that morning, seeing how long he can get away with not doing his part. He’s a good guy, but the manual labor side of the job isn’t really his thing.
“Eh, he’s better off wherever he is,” Tyler laughs, and a small smile takes over your face, too. “Hey, you sure you’re okay? You don’t need a break? You can take a minute to yourself, no one’ll judge. I know how this can all get to you a little more than it gets to everyone else.”
You know him well enough to know he’s not calling you weak-stomached, that he’s genuinely concerned for how you feel, but he’s right. It does all get to you. Settling in to help survivors of these natural disasters is just something that comes with the chasing – there isn’t one without the other for you and the rest of the crew. You nod, glancing back up at him. 
“I’m okay, Tyler. Go off and be the face of the operation – you don’t have to worry about me.”
Tyler’s eyes narrow, his gaze shifting between your eyes, trying to find evidence you’re withholding the truth from him, but he seems to find nothing. With a minute tip of his head, he turns to resume working through a long-term plan for rebuilding the town with the mayor and some other members of the local government. 
This is something else you know he loves to do – shmooze with higher-ups, show off his people skills. Not only are they higher-ups, they’re small-town folk. His kind of people. He knows how to get through to them, how to get them to trust him. You love that about Tyler. He’s never condescending – he always has a genuine desire to help. He’s been through this hundreds of times, and these people may only have been through it this one time. You look around at them, at the people of all ages picking up the pieces that remain of their community, then cross your fingers and send a thought out to anyone listening:
Please let it be the only time.
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After a few more hours of genuinely back-breaking work, you hear Tyler’s sharp whistle and know it’s time, meandering over to his truck where it’s been parked for almost eighteen hours. Using your teeth, you pull your gloves from your hands and hiss. They’ve been rubbed raw, the skin blistering where each finger meets the palm. You try to ignore the throbbing sensation, leaning against the passenger side door and closing your eyes. The rest of the crew sidle up to you, taking long drags from water bottles and cigarettes and trying to make peace with how you’re leaving this place tonight.
“Does anyone else want to break off to shower first?”
It seems Dani’s the only one, and they shrug, putting their hand out, palm up, to Dexter, who hands them the keys to the RV.
“Meet y’all there,” they say, stifling a yawn, and you know it’ll be a bit before you see them. The rest of you will have to pile into Tyler’s truck, and before you can object, the other three crawl into the back seat and leave you on the front bench with Tyler. You let yourself in and close the door behind you, buckling and watching as Tyler shakes someone’s hand and hustles to meet the rest of you. His Texans cap hits the bench before he does, between the two of you, and he turns his keys in the ignition, buckling his own seatbelt.
“Where we headin’?”
“There’s a place with a mechanical bull nearby. I vote there.”
“How nearby is ‘nearby,’ Boone?”
“Uh,” he pulls his phone from his pocket, does a quick Google to double-check. “Forty-five minutes?”
Dexter leans over and grips Boone’s phone, reading the screen. “In the opposite direction of the motel, Boone.”
Everyone groans, objecting, and you press your hand against your temple to alleviate the pressure there. The noise, God, the noise.
“Could we go somewhere closer to the motel, maybe?”
“It’s got a mechanical bull,” Boone stresses, and everyone rolls their eyes.
“Boone, you know damn well we’re not making it back to the motel if we go that far away.”
He groans, and you pull your own phone out, checking Maps to see what’s around the motel.
“This one’s three minutes from where we’re stayin’,” you say, showing Tyler your screen, and he nods, shifting into reverse, backing out, and starting down the one lane of the street that’s been cleared of debris. 
“Hey Boone,” you toss over your shoulder as Tyler shifts into second gear. “By the way. Long time no see.”
Lily snorts, smacking you on the shoulder to let you know she thought that was a good one. Boone shakes his head. 
“Hey, just because you didn’t see me all day doesn’t mean I wasn’t out there, too. How do I know you were workin’, weren’t sitting on your ass in the shade somewhere, hm?”
You hold your raw, red palms out for him to inspect and that shuts Boone up quick. Tyler whistles as he gets an eyeful of your skin.
“God damn, girl,” Lily murmurs. “That looks like it hurts. I think I might have Aquaphor in my bag back at the motel if you want some.”
“I’ll be alright,” you reply, knocking your elbow against her knee behind you in thanks. “Appreciate you.”
The rest of the drive is taken mostly in silence, everyone in the backseat trying to rest their eyes, but you stay up, your eyes on the road, so Tyler isn’t the only one making the thirty-ish minute drive back to where you’re staying, where you checked in only after it’d been decided which towns had been hit the worst, so you could reach all of them easily by truck.
“What’s goin’ on in your head? Hm?”
You turn to look at Tyler and he glances at you from out of the corner of his eye, then at your lap, at the fingernails you’ve picked down to the quick. “Real quiet over there.”
“Nothing,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Don’t let Boone get to you,” Tyler says, tapping his right fist on your thigh once, twice, then letting it rest there. You brush your knuckles against his and he opens the fist immediately, taking your hand in his but not squeezing, careful not to put pressure on the blisters on your palms.
“It’s not that,” you start, then realize your mistake, your admission. “I really – I think I’m just tired. It’s been a long week.”
You’re acutely aware of your hand in Tyler’s. It’s not like you’ve ever been shy around him – your cheeks flush at the thought – but this is…different. Sweet. More.
“Yeah, that it has,” he sighs, adjusting his left hand on the steering wheel so he can drive a little more comfortably, but his right hand stays in yours. 
You settle back into silence, Tyler seemingly having dropped the subject, and your eyes return to the road, but you feel him looking over at you, checking on you, every once in a while. You try your hardest not to meet his gaze. 
Soon enough, Tyler is putting the truck in park, then shutting the thing off. The noise – or lack thereof, you guess – wakes Dexter in the back, then Lily, who snorts when she sees your hand in Tyler’s. You pull away and unbuckle your seatbelt, watching as Tyler, with a hurt look on his face, wipes his hand on his jeans and swings himself down and out of the truck.
“C’mon, Boone,” he shouts, slapping a hand on the door that Boone has his head resting against, and the man sits up straight, wiping sleep from his eyes. “The sun hasn’t even gone down yet. Drinks on me, pal!”
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The motel really is that close to the bar, so you all decide you’ll leave the truck parked there and walk home at the end of the night. The unspoken verdict is that you will all be getting shitfaced tonight.
The lingering smell of cigarettes in the air seems to rejuvenate everyone and Lily pumps a fist when she spots the old-fashioned jukebox across the room, then claps a hand over her mouth when she realizes there’s a TouchTunes sitting right next to it.
“Oh, I am so forcing you fuckers to listen to Chappell Roan all night,” she says gleefully, and you laugh along with her, looping your arm in hers and letting her pull you across the room while the boys settle in at the bar.
“So what was that all about?”
“What was what all about?” You play dumb, shrugging when Lily gives you a hard look and unhooks her arm from yours.
“Girl, seriously,” Lily scoffs, bumping your hip with hers and slipping a twenty dollar bill into the TouchTunes. Evidently she wasn’t joking when she meant you’d be listening to Chappell Roan all night. “I saw that thing earlier, the hair thing, don’t think I didn’t. And y’all holding hands in the truck. What’s going on there?”
You shake your head but she grabs your wrist. “I’m serious, Lil. Nothing’s going on. We’re friends – good friends. He noticed I was having a hard time today, and wanted to make sure I was alright. That’s all.”
You can tell she doesn’t fully believe you, and when she opens her mouth to object, you cut her off.
“I’m gonna run to the bathroom, okay?”
Lily watches you, trying to read the small line between your eyebrows, but eventually she nods and lets go of you, letting you turn away from her. You push through the door to the women’s restroom, your nose wrinkling at the smell, but you ignore it. Standing in front of the sink, you watch yourself, hands shaking. This isn’t you. You’re better than this at shoving these feelings for Tyler down, way down – or, rather, you had been, up until this week broke you, apparently. Turning the knob for the cold water to the left, you let it run over your sore hands, hissing at the feeling. Carefully, you cup your palms and watch them fill, then splash the water onto your face, soothing the flush. There. That should help.
There’s a cold bottle of Coors in front of the seat next to Dexter when you arrive back to the group, “Red Wine Supernova” playing from the speakers. You almost snort at all the old men – regulars, no doubt – groaning out their distaste for whoever chose the music all across the room.
“Thanks,” you toss over your shoulder at Tyler, sitting on the other side of Dexter and Boone. He nods and nurses his own. You frown and settle onto the stool, leaning an elbow on the bartop so you can turn and face your friends. The cold beer against the palms of your hands feels so nice.
What’s wrong with him? He won’t make eye contact with you, and you notice his jaw clicking as he grits his teeth. What’s got his panties in a twist?
As the night unfolds, you find yourself laughing more and more, loosening up, letting the stress of the last week fade into memory. Someone has produced a deck of cards from God knows where and Dani – who did join the group eventually – is showing off card tricks you didn’t even know they knew. You feel a warmth spreading through your body, and you can’t stop thinking about how much you love all of these people. Your friends. Your family. Empty bottles are swiftly replaced with full, cold ones without notice, and everyone is languid, relaxed, unburdened by the work that you’re all doing.
You take a pull from your drink, using the cover of the bottle to risk a glance to Tyler three seats down from you to find that he’s already watching you, and the look in his eye tells you exactly what he’s thinking. That somersault-y feeling is lower than your stomach now. You’re only three beers deep, but the air in your head reminds you that you’ve barely eaten all day, so you’re a little more affected by the alcohol than you’d usually be. Impolitely, you reach across Dexter next to you to grab a handful of peanuts from the basket to his left.
Glancing back up at Tyler, you meet his heady gaze again, and he smirks around the lip of the bottle against his mouth. He knows he’s got you right where he wants you. You swallow nervously around another sip of beer.
Every once in a while, the two of you will get a little too drunk, stay until last call, sneak back to your motel room, and fuck. Nobody knows – at least you don’t think they do – and you never talk about it when you’re sober. Tyler will generally stay until you fall asleep, but he’s always gone when you get up the next day. Only once has he woken up in bed with you the next morning, and you’ve never made that mistake again. There isn’t a name for what you feel for him, you don’t think, and you can’t tell what he thinks of the arrangement. Clearly he likes it, or he wouldn’t be making eyes at you from across three people’s laps as you pull these peanuts from their shells.
“Alright, y’all,” Lily says, slapping a hand on the bar, startling you out of your thoughts. You watch her, popping a nut into your mouth. “Think I’m gonna head out. I suggest you all do, too, fuckers, it’s late.”
Everyone starts to protest, but one glance at the clock tells you you’ve all stayed much longer than you thought – it’s a quarter past midnight, and you’ve got to be up with the daylight. You balk, but if you want to talk to Tyler tonight, you know you’ve got to shoulder your exhaustion and stick it out a little longer.
“I think I might stay for a bit,” you murmur, watching everyone stand and gather their things. You glance over at Tyler, who you can see clearly now that everyone’s out of their seats, and he’s watching you, too. The look on his face reads plain, now – he wants you.
“I’ll stay with her,” he says, eyes on yours. The green in them has disappeared almost completely, you notice, his pupils blown wide. “Walk her back. Y’all head back if you want.”
“I might stay, too –” Boone’s voice cuts off, coughing as Lily elbows him in the stomach, maybe a little too hard. “What the fuck was that for?”
“You’re going to bed, too, Boone,” Dani interrupts, a hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the door. They poke him once when he starts to protest. “C’mon, now.”
Everyone shuffles out the front, Dexter calling good night, and all of the sudden, it’s just you and Tyler. You don’t know why, but your palms begin to sweat at the thought of being alone with him again. He stands, palming his drink, and slides onto the seat next to you, his body angled towards yours.
He’s never made you nervous like this. You don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you.
“So,” Tyler starts, grinning at you. “You come here often?”
You snort, emboldened by the booze, and he chuckles in response. “Idiot.”
“God, but I do love making you laugh.”
You blush under his scrutinous gaze, and take a quick swig of the dregs of your drink, unsure what to say to that. He mirrors you, taking a sip of his own while his eyes bore into yours. Accusatory.
“You don’t do it much anymore, you know that?”
“Do what?”
“Laugh.”
You press your fingertips to your mouth and Tyler’s eyes follow your hand. “I guess I just haven’t had much to laugh about lately,” you start, sighing deeply. “Tornado season’s been hard this year, and you know how much that – it gets to me. As much as I love what we do. You know. Remember that family a couple weeks back whose daughter was stuck under her bunk bed when it pressed on her too long, lost her leg below the knee? That got to me, Tyler. It did.”
“It gets to me, too,” he murmurs, knocking his knee against yours. “I guess I’m just better at hiding how bad it affects me. You can talk to me about it, though. You can talk to any of us.”
“I know I can,” you breathe, trying to keep your hands from shaking. “I know. Sometimes I don’t know what to say, though, you know, what is there to say? It’s not fair to complain about how sad it makes me to watch these people lose everything.”
“You’re allowed to feel sad. And to feel frustrated. It’s not fair, you’re right, but we’re doing good work, yeah? Fighting the good fight. Figuring out what makes these things tick, how to warn people when they’re in the path, get them outta the way and safe. Maybe they lose their house, their car, but they won’t lose themselves, or each other. That’s what matters most. Just remember that.”
You look up at him, set your elbow on the bartop, and prop your chin on your open palm. Your hands don’t hurt so bad anymore, you notice. “Thanks, Tyler.”
“Anytime,” he smiles, but you shake your head. 
“Seriously. You always know what to say.”
A look crosses his face then, too quick for you to read, and he sets his drink down, flagging the bartender over to close out the team’s tab. You frown, wondering if you’d, ironically, said the wrong thing.
“What’s up?”
Tyler looks back to you, and this time, the look in his eyes is unmistakable. It burns. “Taking you home, sweetheart.”
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The walk back to your motel is done in silence. Tyler’s hand swings next to yours, and you feel it searching for yours more than once, but you don’t take it. You climb the stairs together, slowly, and he walks you to your door. His room is one more floor up.
You can tell he thinks you won’t invite him in, that you’ve changed your mind – or maybe that you never made it up. He hadn’t, after all, told you plainly that that was why he’d stayed with you at the bar. You unlock the room with your key card and step inside, opening the door only far enough for you to fit through it. You turn back to look at him, his face awash in the street lights shining into the hallway. You flip the lightswitch on next to you, illuminating the room behind you, too.
“Well,” he murmurs, making to head back down the stairs. “Good night.”
“Tyler?”
His head turns back to look at you, watching as you hold out one hand and he takes it, letting you pull him closer to you. You press yourself into him, push your whole face against his chest, your hip keeping the door from closing on the two of you. You inhale deeply, the smell of him overtaking your senses. His cologne, yes, but underneath that, the smell of dirt, earth. Home.
You feel his arms wrap around your back and you turn your head to the side, press your ear to his heartbeat. Your hands come up to scratch down his back and you feel it when he shudders.
“Stay?”
You hear his breath hitch in his chest, then the deep rumble of his voice as he says, “Alright, baby.”
With a short inhale, your eyes flutter, nearly closing at the term of endearment. You step back, pulling him with you, and as you close the door behind you, he pushes one hand up into your hair and pulls your head toward his.
“I, uh,” you whisper against his lips when they get close enough to yours, “I think I might shower first, if that’s okay with you?”
“Alright,” he murmurs, unlacing his hand from the strands of your hair before toeing his boots off and carefully setting them under the chair next to the front door. “You want company?”
You swallow. You’ve never done anything like that before. It’s always been quick. When you do this with him, you hardly ever have time for a chat before he’s got your shirt over your head and his mouth on your skin.
“Sure,” you reply. You feel him watch as you turn around and pull your shirt off, reaching back to unclasp your bra. The modesty feels redundant, but you can’t help it.
“Not gettin’ shy on me now, are you? S’not like I haven’t seen you naked before,” he chuckles, and you throw a look at him over your shoulder just as he’s pulling his own shirt over his head. He left his hat at the bar, you think. You’ll have to go back in for it when you pick up the truck.
“Tyler,” you scold, and he laughs at you, steps across the room to wrap an arm around your torso and press a kiss to where your neck meets your shoulder. The place he knows makes you melt. You sigh and push back against him, the feeling of his hard chest against your bare back a welcome one. This feels more like what you know, what you’re used to.
“Shower,” you remind him, and he nods, his forehead pressed into that spot now, and he pushes his fingers underneath the waistband of your jeans, running them along the bit of skin there around to the front, where the fabric splits at the button. He pops it undone, then uses his thumb and forefinger to grip the zipper and slowly – so slowly – pulls that down. He can’t help himself, you know that, and so you hold your breath and wait for him to push his hand into your panties. Ever a predictable man, he does just that, and you gasp at the feeling of his warm hand against you.
“Are you sure?” Tyler’s breath against your neck makes you shiver, and you press your ear to the side of his chin. He runs his fingers along the seam of you, finding first your clit, your legs twitching at the sudden rush of pleasure when he brushes his hand against it, then pushing down to find you wet and wanting. You cry out softly. “You don’t sound sure. You don’t feel sure.”
You hum, your neck stretching back until your head is pressed to his chest, and he pulls his hand back up to start working small circles on your clit, your wetness on his fingers allowing for smooth movement, with just enough friction to have you panting for more. 
“Sounds more to me like you kinda want me to fuck you with my fingers.”
“Tyler,” you whimper, telling him with just his name that you are getting close. He smiles against the side of your neck, pulling his hand away and shoving your jeans and underwear down just enough that his hand has room to smack your clit lightly. You squeal, right leg kicking out at the feeling, and he continues moving his hand in circles to soothe the hurt.
Your breath is coming out of you in short huffs, and before you can come, Tyler takes his hand off of you and wraps it around your stomach to join the other. You pant and whine, rubbing your thighs together to chase the feeling he’d had you practically pressed up against, now ebbing with the loss of his fingers.
“You said you wanted to shower,” he whispers in your ear, pulling your panties back up, and you scowl, pushing away from him. He laughs and holds his hands up in defense as you pick your t-shirt up off your bed and crack it at him like a whip. “Let’s shower, baby.”
“I might kick you out right now, Owens,” you snark, but the small smile on your face gives you away, and Tyler unbuttons his own jeans, leaving them in a pile on the floor at the end of the bed. Your jeans join his, and you’re both left in your underwear.
“You wouldn’t,” he replies, pulling his briefs off slowly, biting his bottom lip as you watch him. “You like this cock too much.”
You can’t help laughing at him, but the sight of him bare in front of you does have you biting your lip. You step forward to cup his growing length in your hand. Before you can move it, Tyler puts a hand on your wrist.
“How’s your hand?” He makes to pull it away, presumably to turn it over and appraise your blisters, but you shake your head.
“S’fine,” you whisper, tightening your grip. You tug once, twice, and press a kiss to his bare chest, then tip your head back to search out his lips. He leans down to oblige you, his lips parting against your mouth as you twist your fist. You love these moments you share with him, when you’re both bare, physically, emotionally, away from the real world, and you can pretend this is an everyday thing. When you’re not trying to tell yourself you feel nothing for him. Like this is just how it is between you.
Tyler groans when you pull your hand away from him and you click your tongue, press that same hand against his bicep.
“Doesn’t feel so good, now does it?”
Before you even know what’s happening, Tyler is picking you up, one arm underneath your back and the other around the backs of your knees. You look up at his face and laugh. “Put me down, Owens!”
He grins and carries you the few paces into the bathroom, placing you on your feet in front of the tub. Tyler leans down and pushes his thumbs underneath the waistband of your panties, waiting for you to put your hands on his shoulders and step out of them.
He lets you pull away from him to turn the hot water on, adjusting the cold side until the temperature is perfect, before pulling you against his chest once again. This time, you can feel his hard cock pressed against your backside, and you hum appraisingly. You reach behind you to fist him again, but he shakes his head – you feel his chin brush against the top of your head – and he groans out, “Mm-mm.”
“What?”
“We’re gonna shower, baby, c’mon.”
You glance back towards him and watch as he flicks the overhead light on. “So we don’t slip and die,” he says, and you laugh, pushing the shower curtain to the side. Holding Tyler’s hand, you step over the lip of the tub and under the steady stream of warm water, inhaling deeply when it hits the sore muscles in your shoulders and back. Tyler groans at the feeling, too, when he steps in behind you.
“Here, switch with me,” he murmurs, guiding you by your waist until you’re the one underneath the water. You let it fall onto the top of your head, over your face and down the back of your hair, for a moment, eyes closed, relishing the feeling. Tyler reaches both hands up and brushes the water out of your eyes, runs his hand over the top of your head. 
“Shampoo?”
You open one eye, the other shut against the water, and nod. You gaze up at him, heart squeezing at the way he’s watching you. His smile widens and he takes the tiny bottle in his hand – it looks even more comically small now – and dumps the product into his other palm, setting the bottle down onto the edge of the tub and rubbing his hands together.
“Turn around.”
You do as he asks, inhaling sharply through your nose when you feel his hands run through the hair at the crown of your head. Your stomach aches with longing as you register how unnaturally intimate this is. His fingers feel so good against your scalp, which is slightly sunburnt, you’re now realizing. He massages the shampoo further into your hair, running his fingers down the back of your neck and across the tops of your shoulders. When he’s satisfied with his shampoo job, he steers you by your arms to face him again, then carefully helps you tilt your head back and rinses it all from your hair.
You watch him pick up the other small bottle from the shelf, warm water still running down the back of your head. 
“I’ll do my conditioner,” you murmur, taking the bottle gently from his hands. “It’s a – it’s a science.”
“I am very good at science, if you can recall.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “It’s something I’ve gotten perfectly right. It’ll take just a sec.”
So you work the conditioner through the ends of your hair, avoiding his gaze as he watches your hands first coat your hair in the product, then rinse it out. He reaches forward to run his own fingers across it, as gently as he can.
“Hm,” he makes the noise in the back of his throat, pulling his hand away. “Soft.”
You can hardly look at him, the twisting feeling in your stomach shifting to something warmer, something further from apprehension, something that feels a lot like want. “You?”
Tyler shakes his head. “I’m good. Here,” he says, rubbing his hands across the plane of your upper back. “You’re tense. You worked hard today. Let me help.”
You weren’t going to protest, but before you can, Tyler guides you forward and out of the direct spray of the shower, then presses his thumbs into your muscle. You groan, your head falling forward onto his chest at the feeling, and he chuckles at you, continuing with his hands. “Feel good?”
“So good,” you whimper, and you feel his cock twitch against your stomach.
“You fucking dog,” you joke, and Tyler laughs against you, pushing your hair off the back of your neck and pressing his thumbs in there, too.
“Hey, what can I say? I like making my girl feel good.”
You freeze. His girl? His girl. He hasn’t noticed your reaction, and he keeps pressing his fingers into your sore muscles, pulling one hand away briefly to push the showerhead down and away from the two of you. You glance up, already missing its warmth, but you find that the steam rising around you is doing a good enough job at that.
“Here, baby,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your forehead and guiding you to press your hands against the tiled wall to your left, running his hands down your back.
“What are you –”
Before you can finish the thought, you feel Tyler’s fingers parting the seam of your cunt from – from behind, and you groan at the feeling of his middle finger slipping inside of you.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he groans, his knees hitting the floor behind you. You toss a glance at him over your shoulder and your own knees nearly buckle at the way he’s looking up at you – with hunger, and with reverence, and with something else entirely unrecognizable. He looks wild. He looks in love.
One of Tyler’s hands clamps down around your hips and he leans forward, pressing a kiss to the back of your thigh as his finger starts to shift in and out of you. You shiver and push your face into the cool tile, groaning softly when he finds that rough bit of flesh inside of you, the one that makes you come undone if he works it long enough.
“Yeah?” Tyler sounds fucked out already, his voice breathy against your skin, and you can picture the look on his face, the concentrated expression he gets when he’s trying to make you come. You try to focus on the feeling of the shower’s spray where it hits the edge of your foot rather than how good his finger feels inside you because if you think too closely about how good it feels, you’ll get lightheaded. And nobody wants that.
“Yeah,” you reply weakly, and for a few minutes it’s just like that, the only sound in the bathroom the shower, your panting moans, and the noise your pussy makes as he pulls his finger in and out.
“Sound so good for me, baby,” he says, pressing a kiss to the back of your thigh again, and you whine, trying to protest when he slips his finger from you. He laughs deep in his chest and lightly smacks the swell of your ass.
“Don’t complain when I’m doin’ somethin’ nice for you,” he jok, and you can feel then that he’s shifting himself around. You want to look over your shoulder, want to see for yourself what he’s doing, but freeze when you feel his palms cupping your ass, his nose pressing against the inside of your thighs.
Your mouth forms the word oh, but no sound comes out until you feel his mouth press against your cunt, tongue pushing inside of you, and then you cry out, chest heaving, when he presses a sloppy, wet kiss to your clit. You pull your face from where it’s still resting against the tile and look down at Tyler to find he’s already looking right up at you. His grip on your ass tightens when you make eye contact with him, and he spreads you open wider for him, eyes narrowing as his tongue flicks again, and again, and again.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he moans against you, the vibrations causing your legs to twitch. You already thought you were going to burst, the steam from the shower, the way he’d washed your hair, the fact that he was in your room at all – it all made you feel slightly insane. To add insult to injury, he’s just pushed two fingers inside of you and immediately found the spot that takes you out, and you start to shake a little.
“Tyler,” you whine, pushing one hand down to grip his hair. He groans when you tighten your hold on it, fucking into you a little faster. “Tyler, fuck, gonna come.”
“So come, baby,” comes his reply, and you do, you come so hard that the toes on your right foot curl until you’re on tiptoe and Tyler has to reach up and grip your waist to steady you. You feel it crest, and peak, then subside, but he keeps working you through it, his mouth moving against you still, and a second, smaller – though still good – orgasm wracks your body right after the first.
You breathe through it, push your foot down so you’re standing flat on the surface of the tub again, and wait for Tyler to pull his fingers out of you. 
“Baby,” Tyler groans, squeezing your hips, his fingernails biting slightly into your skin. “You gotta let go’a me, if you want me to get up.”
His voice, fuck, his voice, you think, releasing your grip on his hair and turning to watch him rise from his knees, the tile cold against your back. You surge forward to kiss him square on the mouth and he catches you, smiles against you when you part your lips to taste yourself on his tongue.
“Was that good?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, pressing one, two, three more quick kisses to his mouth, before he reaches behind you to turn off the water. “So fucking good.”
Neither of you bother with a towel, instead opting to stumble toward the queen bed in the middle of the room and climb right underneath the covers.
“Hi,” you whisper when you’re settled in, the duvet pulled up under your chin. Your eyes rove over his face, then glance over to the alarm clock behind him. 1:56 in the morning. “You still wanna fuck?”
Tyler snorts, reaching over to poke you in the side, gripping the skin there until you start to laugh. “You still wanna fuck?”
“Yeah,” you reply, grinning, when you catch your breath. “Wanna?”
He’s quiet for a second, watching the duvet rise and fall with each breath you take, before he peels it off of you, using his elbow to push himself up until he’s leaning over you. There’s a rosy flush on your chest, your breasts heaving and it’s all he can do not to lean down and take one of your nipples in his mouth, the one closest to him. Instead, he runs the back of his other hand across your chest, catching against the hard peak, and watches your breath stick to the inside of your throat. You feel yourself subconsciously leaning toward him as his face comes toward you. You want him to kiss you, but instead, he angles his mouth to kiss the skin below your chin.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathes against your neck, pressing his open mouth to you there, and you gasp at the feeling – of his mouth against you, and of his praise. It all feels so nice. He just made you come in the shower, and now he’s going to make you come in this bed, hopefully more than once. 
You wrap your hands around his back and pull him toward you, watch as he settles in between your thighs. You can feel his thick cock, heavy, insistent, where it presses against you, and you want to take him into your hands, but he has other plans. 
With one hand pressed into the pillow on either side of your head, Tyler uses his knees to knock your legs out further, sitting back against his heels when he’s satisfied. He wraps his big hands around your thighs and pulls you closer, smiling down at you. “You’re so beautiful.”
You blush when he repeats himself, suddenly feeling very bare. He’s just as naked as you are, but you can’t help but feel like he’s seen your whole hand, meanwhile you hardly have any idea what cards he might hold. In the dim light from the lamp beside your head, you notice that you can see the green of his irises again. It seems like the shower sobered the two of you up very quickly.
His gaze locked on yours, Tyler takes himself into his hand, groaning at the pressure of his grip after neglecting his own want for so long, but he suddenly curses, pausing just as he’s about to press inside of you.
“What?”
“I don’t have a condom,” he breathes, sitting back again. He runs one hand through his hair, visibly weighing the options.
“It’s okay, Tyler,” you murmur, leaning up onto your elbows. “It’s okay. I have an IUD, and I got screened after the last time I was with someone. I’m good. I’m good if you’re good.”
Tyler heaves a heavy sigh, running his hands up your thighs. “You’re sure? I’m clean, too, cross my heart. But only if you’re sure.”
You nod. “My head is clear. I think I shook off my drunk an orgasm or two ago.”
A grin crosses his face, and you roll your eyes at him before he even opens his mouth. Two? he mouths, then whistles lowly. You smack his stomach, and he grabs your wrist in his hand, lightning quick, pressing a kiss to the pulse point there. Your jaw falls slack, and you go all soft and pliant, letting him pin your hands above your head. His body comes down over yours, and his mouth presses to your cheek, then your forehead, and when your eyes flutter shut, the ghost of a kiss crosses them, too.
“I’m gonna fuck you so good,” he murmurs, and normally if a man were to say that to you, you would immediately regret letting him into your bed. But for some reason, when Tyler says it, it sends that familiar warmth spiraling down into your gut. You know he means it.
Slowly – too slowly – he guides himself back to your entrance, shifting his hips so they’re resting comfortably against yours, and he presses himself inside of you. You hiss; the girth of him, although a welcome stretch, is also a bit of an uncomfortable one. He leans down to kiss you, working you through it with a thumb pressing circles into your clit, sliding himself in bit by bit until he’s fully seated. 
A groan pushes out of him when you clench around him, testing the waters.
“Careful,” he murmurs, easing his hips back. “I’d like it if this lasted longer than ten seconds, please.”
You laugh against the side of his head, pull your hands down from where he’d left them above you and wrap yourself around his shoulders, pulling him flush against you. Tyler grips your thighs and starts to work himself in and out of you, carefully, gently, but you squeeze his waist with your knees. Encouraging him. Asking him to pick it up. You can handle it.
His hips start to pull back and snap against yours quicker and quicker, Tyler panting in your ear, lifting up onto his palms and pushing himself off of you. He sits up onto his knees and tilts your hips up for a different angle, one that sets sparks dancing in front of your eyes. You groan, head tossed back, and dig your nails into his thighs as his pace picks up.
“Fuck, yeah, that it, baby? I can feel you – fuck, feel you squeezin’ me.”
You hardly have a voice with the rate he’s slipping in and out of you, barely enough to squeak out, “Fuck,” before your cunt has him in a vice grip, working through another orgasm.
“Ohhh, that’s it, huh, that’s it.” His mouth is going a mile a minute, neither of you really paying much attention to anything he’s actually saying. You’re both focused on his own mounting orgasm – you don’t feel like your body is capable of much more than that – and you weakly clamp down around him once more. His eyes squeeze shut, his hips stutter, and he grits out, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck,” before he slots against you and you feel him filling you. You run a hand down his back, soothing him as he comes, biting your lip at the feeling, foreign but enjoyable.
Tyler groans and glances down to where his cock is softening inside of you. He eases his hips back, cupping your face and pressing a kiss to your forehead as he does. “Shit, I’m sorry, are you okay?”
You nod meagerly, pressing the back of your hand against your warm cheek. He watches you and, assured that you’re not going to pass out on him or anything, stands and hobbles into the bathroom. The sink turns on out of sight, and you close your eyes, listening to the water run. Tyler returns with a warm, wet towel and wipes the inside of your thighs, swiping gently across your cunt, before folding the towel and letting it fall to the floor at your bedside.
You feel loose, calm. Safe. You hardly notice him turn the light off, but you do feel the bed dip beside you as he rejoins you under the covers and pulls you into his arms. You melt against his sturdy chest, his heartbeat under your face a comfort, the rhythmic tick tick tick of it lulling you to sleep. But there’s still one thing you have to know before you can relax completely.
His breathing has started to even out, but he hasn’t snored yet, so you know he’ll still hear you when you ask, “Are you gonna leave?”
He grunts an acknowledgement of your question, nuzzling down into the top of your head.
“Do you want me to stay?”
You know your answer, but you still bite your lip, considering the question. You hadn’t thought before that maybe he left after every night you spent together because he thought you didn’t want to wake up with him. “Yes.”
“Okay,” he murmurs against your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Then I’ll stay.”
If he’s at all worried about what will happen when you wake up tomorrow, he doesn’t show it, but anxiety courses through you at the thought of anyone finding out. Does he want the others to know? Because that’s what it feels like.
“Stop thinking about it,” he whispers, like he can hear your thoughts racing. “It’ll be fine. Just go to sleep.”
Easy for him to say. He’s out like a light. And you’re left alone with your thoughts until you fall into fitful, dissatisfying sleep sometime around when the world outside starts to turn blue.
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A pounding on your door wakes you from deep sleep – the deepest you’d gotten all night, at least – and you try to sit up but find there’s a heavy weight on your chest blocking you. You rub the sleep from your eyes, glancing down at the sleeping body next to you. It takes a second for it to register: Tyler’s here. 
Tyler’s here. Sidled up against you, arm thrown over your stomach like this is where he belongs. He didn’t leave. He stayed, like he said he would. His face looks so peaceful – so beautiful – you almost hate to wake him.
“Come on, sleepyhead! Time to get a move on!”
Almost. You scramble to push Tyler off of you, ignoring his noises of protest, jumping out from under the covers and grabbing various articles of clothing off the floor to pull over your naked form. You plop back down on the bed, this time on his side, right next to where he’s starting to wake.
“Dude, get up, they’re gonna know you’re not in your room. They’re gonna know you’re in here.”
“So what,” he grumbles, rolling over as you push him and settling deeper into the bed. “Let ‘em.”
You sit up straight, one hand on his arm. “You mean that?”
He hums and turns his neck to glance at you over his shoulder. “Yeah, ‘course I do. You’re my girl.”
Your face flushes a deep pink and Tyler grins, reaching over to wrap an arm around you and drag you back down into the bed, pinning you under him and peppering an assault of open-mouthed kisses all over your face. You grin, thinking that you could get used to this – just not right now.
“Seriously, Tyler,” you laugh, pushing a hand against the side of his face. He squeezes your hip. “We have to get up. We gotta get back out there.”
Tyler sighs, loosening his grip on your body and kneeling over you. “Yeah, you’re right. Alright, alright.”
He stands and takes the top sheet with him, wrapped around his waist, and heads to the bathroom. To brush his teeth, you hope. God.
“You know,” he says, head popping back out into the room, mouth full of toothpaste. “Yesterday. I wanted them to see us holding hands.”
You watch as he smiles at you and disappears back into the bathroom, then fall back onto the bed, hands pressed over your eyes. 
Fifteen minutes later, the two of you are dressed, teeth brushed, hair taken care of, day packs slung over your shoulder, and you’re pulling the door closed behind you when you hear a whistle that pulls your attention to the parking lot.
“Damn, Owens!”
The voice makes you jump, and you groan. You thought you were going to get away with the sneaking around, but the rest of your team is watching from next to the RV as the two of you descend the stairs together.
Lily and Dani turn to Boone with smug looks on both their faces, and he rolls his eyes and pulls his wallet from his back pocket. They hold their hands out for him to slap two twenty dollar bills down into.
“What’s that?” You ask when you get close enough to them.
“We had a bet that you and Owens would come out of that room together. Well, that one or his. Didn’t matter which.”
“A bet I just lost,” Boone groans, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “I thought for sure…”
The rest of the crew snickers, including Tyler, who won’t look at you. You poke a finger into his chest.
“Did you know about this?”
“No, I swear,” he says, hands up, and you don’t know why, but you believe him. “That doesn’t mean I didn’t drunkenly confess to Lily weeks ago that sometimes we, you know…”
You scoff, almost mad, but then Boone shouts and the scoff turns into a snicker because, hey, you love him, but you can’t help but relish in his defeat.
“So they knew?! That’s cheating!”
He storms off while the rest of you laugh, Dani clutching their side and following him around the side of the building to try to make amends, trailing off, “If it makes you feel any better…”
Lily looks over at you, then at Tyler, a grin swallowing her face. “So, are you guys, like, together now? Or something?”
You look up at Tyler, who’s smiling softly at you, clearly deferring to you to answer that question. You feel a surge of affection for him swell in your chest. Clearing your throat, you turn to Lily.
“Or something.”
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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#idk if this is angsty or not so im just gonna throw it in the tags#but like. i fully know what my problem is. and how i could fix it. and literally the only thing making me sad and upset is myself#why? because my choice of medium is writing. because that makes it incredibly difficult to get anything out there and get people interested#in my creations. cause visual media is preferred so much over written anything cause its so much easier to consume#it doesnt help that i dont work with popular characters or ships (literally my current work im most excited about is for a ship only *i*#have contributed to so far. like.. we are talking that level of unpopular choices here)#and like. i dont say this to shame or blame anyone. this is obviously my choice. ive decided to do both of these things when i could have i#so much easier. i wouldnt be better at it if i did visual shit still. im way worse at that than writing. ive always been a writer first#but.. honestly seeing the difference with interaction and even in general interest due to these factors...#idk man. again i know this is entirely self inflicted like i chose this. i chose all of these things. and continue to do so#ive literally seen all of this. im not making it up. im not talking about just in general im talking this has happened to me personally#that rare time in june i made and posted art? do you understand the amount of ppl that said 'ive missed your stuff'?#the same people that dont consume my current works due to their form and have never went on the lengths to say the same thing about#my writing? when i took a two year hiatus from all of that basically? but a few months of visual arts?#idk fam im just. i understand all of this but im hurt. you know?#cause i know it doesnt matter. and its so much more difficult. i know there are people out there who love and appreciate what i do#and who understand how important this is to me compared to other stuff and before and whatnot#but at the same time the negatives (that are mostly in my head but they are still real things and they still hurt) are so much louder#i dont know where im going with this. im just thinking. excuse the brain barf#or dont. whatever. im just.. acknowledging my recent feelings. there is a reason i had a breakdown few days ago and yesterday was so rough#i should probably go to bed. sorry about this#its not gonna change anything in how stuff is viewed or how im gonna act about it but just.. you know. putting this out there#the inequality of how art is treated just has me thinking. that maybe im not made for this#maybe i should just be the below mediocre visual artist that does things that give them no happiness just cause it gets more attention#idk. just. yeah#good night#night is an absolute mess on main
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