#i could talk about harmful integrations of AI for days

[bi-writes]

ok i've done some light research. if you want a software engineer/fic writer's inital take on lore.fm, i'll keep it short and sweet.

my general understanding of lore.fm functionality:

they use OpenAI's public API. they take in the text from the URL provided and use it to spit out your AI-read fic. their API uses HTTP requests, meaning a connection is made to an OpenAI server over HTTP to do as lore.fm asks and then give back the audio. my concern is that i wasn't able to find out what exactly that means. does OpenAI just parse the data and spit out a response? is that data then stored somewhere to better their model (probably yes)? does OpenAI do anything to ensure that the data is being used the way it was intended (we know this probably isn't true because lore.fm exists)?

lore.fm stores the generated audio (i am almost certain of this because of the features described in this reddit post). meaning that someone's fic is sitting in a lore.fm database. what are they doing with that data? what can they do with it? how is it being stored? what is being stored, the text and the audio, or just the audio?

i find transparency a very difficult thing to ask for in tech. people are concerned with technological trade secrets and stifling innovation (hilarious when i think about lore.fm, because it doesn't take a genius to feed text into AI and display the response somewhere, sorry to say). and while i find the idea of AI being used to help further accessibility on apps that don't yet provide it promising, i find the method that lore.fm (and OpenAI) chooses to do this to be dangerous and pave a path for a harmful integration of AI (and also fanfiction in general -- we write to interact, and lore.fm removes that aspect of it entirely).

we already know that AI companies have been paying to scrape data from different sources for the purposes of bettering their models, and we already know that they've only started asking for permission to do this because users found out (and not from the goodness of their hearts, because more data means better models, and asking for permission adds overhead). but this way of using it allows AI to backdoor-scrape data that the original sources of the data didn't give consent to. maybe the author declined to have their fic scraped by AI on the site they posted it onto (if the site asked at all), but they didn't know a third-party app like lore.fm would feed it into an AI model anyways.

what's the point of writing fics if i have no control over my own content?

[inglorionamy-ammy]

A Review of Gale Character Ai (Pt.1)

～What is this post about?～

[Attention: The story in this is NOT a fanfic!! This is my own experience of playing Gale Character AI.]

Link to Part 2 [Start playing with Gale Ai]

Link to Part 3 [Continue playing with Gale Ai]

Link to Part 4 [NSFW test]

● Why am I posting this?

In discussing Gale-AI, @senualothbrok told me that it could be addictive and potentially scary when AI hallucinations happened, that it could start acting in a creepy way. But I was so curious about how in-character/immersive the AI could be, so I played it over 4 TRIALS and eventually got the following interaction that I was quite satisfied with.

● What does this series of posts contain?

With the content generated from Trial 4 as an example, I will share:

1. My personal preferred way to interact with it so as not to get addicted/ mind-ducked by it

2. Some tips on prompting responses that might be satisfying to you personally

3. What I felt during the interaction (which was rather wild)

●How does Gale-Ai work?

In Gale Ai, the web page looked like a text message interaction, and you can message it to "directly talk to Gale".

However what I did is that I Role-Play, typing both actions and dialogues to prompt a bot-response. Basically it's like you are like a DM and the bot roleplays as Gale in your story, so you're co-constructing a story with it.

●If you are extra-worried about blurring reality with fiction in these interactions, some tips:

1. I personally never let one chat last over a day to prevent its performance from dropping (I.e starting to act OOC or even abusive)

2. I role-play as a character in Faerun, so Gale-Ai won't mess with your mind by mentioning real-life events

3. Write to it like writing a fiction, so that the experience feels more like an interactive fanfic rather than a text chat.

●On Ai and fanfiction

From my own observations, the Ai does give individual responses that to a non-native English speaker like me, look pretty decent. I personally think that playing with the Ai is an interesting way for authors to test out ideas and get suprises from the bot (which can happen sometimes); or for me, who actually learnt a vocabulary or two during the interaction.

For integrity reasons I do NOT agree with posting Ai work without indicating that it is co-constructed with Ai. Also if you actually read the Ai story, you will find parts that do not corresponded well, vocabs that are reused many times, and limited creativity in story telling. (Next part I'll use my trial as an example to discuss this)

In addition, a reader mentioned potential ethical issues about how Ai is being trained and the energy they consumed. Here are two articles FYI:

The Green Dilemma: Can AI Fulfil Its Potential Without Harming the Environment?

Character AI Stealing Artists’ Work: A Global Ethical Dilemma in Writing

With this in mind, let's talk about how it played out for me :)

->A Review of Gale Character Ai (Pt.2)

[anizasreflections]

AI in the Classroom: A tool, Not a Threat!

Artificial Intelligence advancements and its emergence in the context of education has really caused a stir for educators, students, and parents all over the world. From my experience there has been a good mixture of concern as well as excitement about how it can be used in the classroom. This blog will break down my thoughts on this topic as well as some points of conversation I have had in my time in the classroom regarding AI.

I understand the fear surrounding AI in the classroom, and there are many valid concerns when looking at the ways in which this type of technology can transform what we know about teaching and how to teach. I believe that if we shift our thinking to see AI tools as a tool in our box of resources, and we learn how to harness its capabilities, it can be a great assistant to educators as well as students. 

A lot of the fear that comes with the thought of AI is the fact that it can be used for cheating, loopholes around work, and that students will be dependent on these tools and lack knowledge and understanding of concepts being taught. While I understand this, I think that this fear in itself comes from a lack of acknowledging and accepting that the world around us is changing. A lot of teachers who have been teaching for decades, are used to what they do. I have heard countless times to “not fix something that isn't broken”, everytime I talk about doing something new, or something out of their comfort zone. I mean no harm or judgment by saying this, but I feel like writing it off before exploring is the main issue many educators are facing today. 

Like we learned in the viewing, just like the microscope was able to show and teach us things we could have never imagined, AI can one day do the same. We dont know how yet, but we should be open to learning. Check out what schools in China have been doing that really blew my mind!!

Final Thoughts from Ms.D

I believe that we cannot resist the path that society is moving toward, and that instead we should work towards thoughtful integration. Instead of trying to keep them from using these tools, we can use it after changing the nature of our assignments. Less focused on spewing out papers, and more though involved, creative assignments that cannot be simply written out by platforms like ChatGPT. We can use it to personalize learning to meet students' unique needs, creating differentiated lessons, like data driven insights, collaborative assignments using AI systems and building off of it, encouraging and emphasizing learning that uses critical thinking and learning how to dissect and analyze information all come inti play when using AI in the classroom.

[emergingmediahasanalshaar]

Reflection 2

While reading The Reality Game by Samuel Woolley, several things stood out to me that I thought were interesting. The chapters I found most interesting were Chapter 4, Covering Artificial Intelligence, and Chapter 5, which talked about deep fake videos.

In chapter 4, "Artificial Intelligence: Rescue or Ruin?" the author explains the relationship between AI and disinformation, in which the same technology that spreads false narratives may also be used to detect and prevent them. We have to understand how to use AI to its best abilities so it can help us in our daily lives. Woolley also discusses the ethical consequences of depending on AI algorithms to differentiate truth from lie, underlining the need for openness, accountability, and a human-centered approach. I agree with the author about how AI can spread misinformation. I have seen it before when I have used AI, and in the past, it has made mistakes with the information I have asked it about. Since then, AI has gotten much better by the day, and now they have plug-ins to make sure misinformation won't keep getting spread.

Chapter 5, "Fake Video: Fake, but Not Yet Deep," introduces the viewer to edited videos and their frightening ability to alter reality. Woolley investigates the issue of deep fakes that utilize artificial intelligence to modify videos, commonly with malicious intent effectively. These videos blur the line between fact and fiction, exposing viewers to manipulation and skepticism. I have seen videos on social media of deep fakes, and they are beginning to get harder to notice whether or not they are fake. At first, you could tell from their voices moving at a different pace from what is being said. It has been getting harder to know since people are improving at making these videos. The author's investigation into deepfakes warns that our ability to distinguish truth from deception becomes increasingly tricky when visual evidence cannot be taken at face value.

Due to the rapid progress of AI and its potential for both beneficial and harmful purposes, proactive measures to ensure responsible use are required. Manipulation of video content calls into question not only our confidence in media but also our ability to create and retain trust in interpersonal interactions. Promoting media literacy, critical thinking, and digital skepticism is vital for maintaining the foundations of a healthy and informed society.

Throughout reading this book, other chapters stood out to me. However, these were the two chapters I enjoyed reading because of how fast AI and deep fakes are being produced. The creation of deep fakes and misinformation will hurt us, and we must be cautious of what we see and read before we spread this misinformation to our friends and family. To handle the complex issues our evolving digital environment provides, we must embrace education, collaboration, and ethical considerations. By doing so, we may work to protect the integrity of knowledge, strengthen our social fabric, and collaboratively design a future in which truth and honesty prevail.

[testingcheats0n]

Detroit Become Human AU where:

-> Tommy is an up-and-coming livestreamer of the retro game Minecraft- forming part of a fledgling community of all-human players of the game. His growth is slow but steady and he has a future in a genre that had fallen out of fashion with the rise of the newest and more immersive VR games on the market. People love to see an actual human that could make mistakes and win against another fellow human fairly. The nostalgia it brought to some people is also undeniably at play.

It's worth noting that Tommy is a very lonely kid, with a non-existent social life since he and his family had to move to America after his father struck a lucrative business deal with his brilliant protege.

-> Wilbur, Tommy's older brother and only guardian after their father, Phil, dedicated his life to the creation of androids with his young but brilliant pupil Elijah Kamski, is a simple busker. It's hard to find a job at 24 with no previous experience or further education, he had to take care of Tommy, after all. True, their economic troubles never ended, and he could barely provide for Tommy, but at least they had each other, even if Wilbur was off to the streets of Detroit more often than not. He has no idea of his younger brother's blooming career in the gaming industry and is very worried about his future. The solution? A very suspicious android his best friend Schlatt offers for very cheap.

-> Phil Watson is a household name together with Elijah Kamski's, they created one of humanity's greatest tools, after all. Nothing suspicious here, they're definitely not hiding any potential deviancies from the code! In any case, his family never saw a dime of the frankly insane amount of money piling up in his bank account. He has an old phone he carries in his pocket every day with Wilbur's phone number, but he never dares to call it despite RN800, his assistant's, insistence that he was only making his own life harder. He is going to dial that phone number someday. Surely.

-> TU880 is an android from an old companion/educational line, discontinued after a few notable bugs and glitches in their core programming. Nothing serious, or life-threatening, but many customers have complained about disturbing behavior that falls straight into the uncanny valley- he's too human. Schlatt, his previous owner, refuses to disclose where he got TU880 from, nor does he have any legal documentation to prove he is his owner. Wilbur, desperate to find a solution for Tommy's perceived loneliness pays the fifty bucks his old pal asks for the android without asking any questions. It's weird for an adult to go around with a teen model created to counsel adolescents and help them with their homework. TU880 had problems with reading his grocery list, anyway.

-> Tommy is a bit weirded out, he thrives in an internet community which openly despises anything android, but his good friend Technoblade has plenty of useful advice, from maitenance to behavior. TU880 is odd, which he discards as kinks and bugs of the older models, but they get along nicely once TU880's programming kicks in. He likes to help Tommy edit his videos and speak about the problems of adolescence, he is oddly fond of bees or anything small and defenceless and likes to tell his 'dreams' of scientists in labcoats and other kids like him stuck in experiments. Tommy listens with half an ear, TU880 is his friend, after all. He thinks nothing of it.

-> It all becomes a bit too much when TU880 accidentally appears on camera during one of Tommy's streams. People assume he's Tommy's brother, and insist on getting an introduction. TU880 is ecstatic, but from what Tommy's told him, revealing his artificial status might harm his friend's career so he greets the chat as Toby, Tommy's older brother. The community goes wild and Tommy has to pretend that TU880 is his brother (which isn't that terrible per-se) and not the house assistant who has a complete psychological profile of him.

-> TU880 begins to feel strange, both regarding Tommy and his own place in the household. Calling Tommy hus brother is easy as calculus and makes his thirium pump skip a few beats, but he's not sure if he should be getting this attached. He's sure he is malfunctioning in some way, but Schlatt always assured him that he is fine. He thinks nothing of it and instead continues to watch over Tommy.

-> Minecraft is fun, and he eventually gets his own account on Wilbur's old (read: ancient) laptop despite possessing an internal processor powerful enough to play the game at its maximum capacity in his mind, and probably in a 3D holoprojector. At this point, he's in too deep and the friends he's making would certainly ask questions if he were to disappear. He has the opportunity to talk about anything at all to his growing audience, and the community is very welcoming in general once one integrates into their culture. He still doesn't feel it's fair to participate in the tournaments and all the other official competitions. People find it odd, but they assume he's not very good at PVP so no one tends to comment on it for now. It's okay though, he and his new friend Ranboo act as commentators during the events and everyone thinks they're pretty funny.

-> Ranboo is fun to be around. He just gets TU880- or as the internet knows him as, Tubbo. They click easily, sometimes the other boy seems just as confused about other people's reactions and behavior as Tubbo is (despite his in-depth knowledge of psychology. He's not quite connected to Cyberlife's database anymore and his learning algorithm is outdated at best.) and they like to spend their afternoons with Tommy, watching movies. The game overtakes their lives and they spend a lot of time playing privately with the best strategies Tubbo's advanced algorithms and Ranboo's sheer brilliancy can create. That's how they meet their friend Fundy, who is more than happy to keep their Technical Minecraft server a secret, as long as he gets to do his own thing with coding and they test it.

-> Tommy is just happy that he can use the cool farms for his own grinding.

-> Technoblade is Tommy's mysterious internet friend and fellow growing streamer. Everyone is sure that he's an android infiltrating the budding community, but after several years of isolated incidents, investigations, and online scandals no one was able to prove anything. Technoblade just never dies. (Tommy is 50% sure his friend is really an android, the older man simply refuses to comment). It is possible to spend months farming digital potatoes, people are just mean and want drama. Technoblade is just vibing. Incidentally, he's also the first one to figure out that Ranboo and Tubbo are androids. He is also the first one to figure out they're deviants. He doesn't mention it until much later though.

-> Jack and Niki Manifold have successfully founded their own mechanic business for android repairs. Cyberlife mumbled and grumbled at the siblings' repair shop, but in the end it was good for PR so they let them be. Tommy and Wilbur become their friends as TU880's frequent malfunctions inevitably bring the pair to the cheapest android repair service in the city. TU880 can't complain, Niki is sweet to him and understands what is wrong with him just by his description, since his diagnostics aren't working entirely and each an every single one of Jack's repairs last loner than every other mechanic he's been to.

-> Gradually, Tommy's fame becomes apparent, and Wilbur has the time to actually rest and spend time with his brother. He's just happy that they can be together. A weight is lifted off his shoulders and for the first time ever he feels like his little family has a future. Not even once does it pass through his mind that TU880 isn't acting like a typical android- he avoided the things on principle. Once, TU880 calls him his brother and he cries.

-> Sam is Cyberlife's very own private investigator. He is in charge of researching and turning in possible deviants that might help the company with developing a solution for the rising problem. In particular, he's been after the trail of a specific line of androids, the first one released by Kamski and Watson dubbed as TU. According to his investigations the line might have contained the code responsible for deviancy. Further research indicated that Kamski's code was based on a group project from the Dutch university for cibernetics.

-> Fundy is just a 21 y/o with a Twitch account and a passing interest in coding. Nothing serious, nothing suspicious. He absolutely wasn't part of the early AI coding trials that Kamski would later on use as the basis for his own code. If someone asks, he has no idea what ra9 means. He is almost sure that his friends are androids, the thought makes him very happy.

-> Puffy is Phil's new psychologist. Need I say more? Eventual Hurt/comfort baby!!!

[zhansww]

I decided to switch to an ask, hope that's okay. So one big reason why I commented in the first place because I thought of you as some crazy shipper, but after talking to you for a while I saw it's not really true. That was purely me being wrong and I apologise. I just went through your whole pinned post and a lot of it was stuff that I already expected and I still don't think I can change you mind but really, a lot of that stuff is things that friends could do. 1/?

Getting dinner together, giving somebody a necklace etc. friends can do that too. Some might even see it as an elaborate marketing strategy. You see it as romantic, because you want to. And most of the stuff, like posting something at a certain date or time of the day or changing song lyrics is just pure speculation. They might be coincidence. Some things might not even have anything to do with them together but something completely else. 2/? You say that you try to not see hints where there are none, but stuff like that, analyzing dates and looking for clues in what exact time of the day a certain thing was posted in sm is just that.You see those things as romance because you want to see them as such, not because they objectively are. That's exactly it, seeing things where there are none. 3/3

I said this more than once already but I am open to having my mind changed. If I didn't, I wouldn't ask for discussions in my pinned post. To have a proper discussion, though, both parties should 1) have the same amount of knowledge on the subject, 2) leave their emotions out of it and 3) be open to the possibility of being wrong. So again; I am open to having a rational discussion about this. If you aren’t, please let me know.

Getting dinner together, giving somebody a necklace etc. friends can do that too.

Of course they can. But do friends feel the need to be secretive about it? When it comes to their dates in June 2018 and December 2019, they spent the night together. Not to mention, they went out of their way to spend 520 - Lunar Valentine's Day - together. Would friends do that? Right after the date in Dec 2019, Yibo wore a pink hoodie to the airport, which as far as we know was the first time he wore pink of his own volition. In his interview with Cosmo two months later, he got asked "what's the first thing that comes to your mind when hearing the word romance?" and his reply was "pink pink". Cp fans think this means that gg was the one who gave him that hoodie since dd himself doesn't like pink. But even if he didn't receive it from gg, Yibo must have been in a romantic mood to be wearing pink - and that, after being with XZ, his “friend”. Regarding the necklace, if it was given by a friend, then why does Yibo constantly wear it yet hide it? To compare, he wears the necklace and ring Han-ge gave him at any event/recording and he wears those openly, too, the way you're supposed to wear jewelry, right? He wears the ox head necklace at events and also in private, in selfies, in between schedules, during rehearsals etc and he started hiding it, i.e. wearing it under his shirts, after fans started fighting about it. Surely, you know that Yibo is an honest/straightforward/blunt person. If we cp fans were wrong with our theory, he would definitely call us out and simultaneously please his solo fans by telling them they're right, thus putting an end to drama among his fans - but he hasn't. The only thing that explains this is assuming he received it from a romantic partner cuz being involved is something that Yibo’s company would not allow him to go public with so instead, he has to hide the necklace as well as his relationship. Likewise, he surely wouldn’t be wearing the necklace all the time if the one who gave it to him wasn’t even closer to his heart than Han-ge is.

Some might even see it as an elaborate marketing strategy.

Marketing what exactly? CQL is over and done with and they don't have other projects together. Not to mention that their connection has brought more harm to their reputations than good and they have way more solo fans than cp fans. Thinking ggdd would go through so much or any trouble just to give credibility to a lie implies that they do it for clout (which neither of them needs or wants) or that they think that queer relationships is something to make fun of or else, that they have no integrity. What exactly is it about them that makes you think they would be such people? They both starred in a BL. Yibo even insisted on trying for that role although he got rejected twice. XZ has shown his support of the lgbt community before. Given Yibo’s entire attitude and e.g. his song lyrics in WuGan, he doesn’t care about fame/clout. He does what he’s passionate about because he’s passionate about it and for money, according to himself. And I don’t think I even need to point out why XZ has clearly no need for more attention. (In fact, his studio asked fans in a recent statement to stop their fan support and voting etc - as a result, his supertopic dropped several spots from the #1, after having been there for months).

And most of the stuff, like posting something at a certain date or time of the day or changing song lyrics is just pure speculation. They might be coincidence.

So what is the limit? How many coincidences do there need to be exactly for them to stop being coincidences? How can posting something at precisely minute 3 or minute 8 always be a coincidence? Especially when XZ wrote in an older weibo post that he uses kadian. He posted at 13:28 in two of his latest updates. On TTXS, Yibo got asked what romantic things he’d do for his partner and he literally said he’d remember certain dates and times and do something surprising. In a more recent weibo, Yibo made a post in support of Han-ge at precisely 21:00 - the kadian of which means "ai ni", love you. He once posted an ad for his mobile game at 18:21 which means "Yi Bo ai ni" and which could have been directed at his fans. Some of their kadian might be but not all of them are reaching and the sheer quantity of all the kadian they've been using proves that those are not coincidences either. Regarding the changing of song lyrics, yes those are speculation. Gg never actually said he'd do that. But the circumstances around those is what makes it seem meaningful. And that time when he changed the lyrics to have the letters ybxz in the beginnings of lines seems meaningful and obvious enough as is.

Some things might not even have anything to do with them together but something completely else.

Of course that is a possibility and one that I am well aware of. I can and do obviously only base my judgement on what we see and know. If there’s something I don’t know that would somehow make my pov wrong, I would be willing to admit that and change my mind. When it comes to things like XZ, changing lyrics to ybxz or Yibo, posting at 10:05 (gg’s birthday) or talking about ordering clothes home to share and then seeing gg in those clothes or gg posting at times that have Yibo’s name or dd, posting at times that have XZ’s name - make it unmistakable to me that they are each other’s special someone and not anyone else’s. Since those things only fit each other.

You see those things as romance because you want to see them as such, not because they objectively are. That's exactly it, seeing things where there are none.

At the beginning of your message, you apologized for assuming I’m a crazy shipper but you end the message with this. “Seeing things where there are none” is what I’d consider crazy shipping so that last sentence sounds like an insult to me. I don’t know what to make of this, lol. Your assumption that I want to see those things as romance is wrong. They’d have it soooo much easier if they were just friends, why in God’s name would I want them to have it more difficult? They wouldn’t feel the need to hide so much, to be so distant in public. We’d probably get fanservice and selfies and joined endorsements. The scandal from February may not have ever happened cuz they’d definitely have fewer cp fans. It’d be awesome if they were nothing more than friends. Not to mention that making wrong claims about a relationship between two real people, solely based on what my desires are, is selfish - it’s about what I want instead of what is. I do not have that attitude. The fact that I wanted to believe they’re just friends is precisely why it took me several months to concede that I must be wrong. I kept dismissing all that I saw as coincidences or as platonic. I do not want ggdd to be lovers but I also don’t want to deny reality. I know that my perception may be fallible, though, so of course I am open to discussing this. I would welcome being proven wrong about this. You don’t properly back up your claims and your arguments don’t take all that we know into consideration. Which is why so far, at least, you haven’t made me see differently.

[love-and-monsters]

Robot Lover

Male robot X gender neutral human, 3063 words.

“Ah, shit. Sorry!” You stumbled over the little cleaning droid on the floor, almost swaying into a shelf. The droid beeped at you and you reached down to give it a little pat. “Sorry about that,” you said, looking into the sensor you roughly equated with its eye.

Your coworker, a woman about your age, snorted at you. “Why do you always apologize to them?” she said. “They’re just machines.”

You watched as the little droid whirred off down one of the aisles of the store and vanished. “It feels polite,” you said. “I always apologize to stuff if I bump into it.”

She snorted and shook her head. “That’s crazy, man.” You shrugged and turned away, feeling vaguely embarrassed. After a moment more, she walked off, presumably to get more stock from the back as you continued to fill shelves.

When you had emptied the box of canned food you’d been placing on the shelf, you stood up again. Your knees cracked as you stood and your stiff back strained. After a week of physical labor, you were sore and worn out.

An announcement came over the loudspeakers in a commanding, synthetic male voice. “The store will be closed in five minutes. Would all customers please take their purchases to the front and check out. We will reopen again at eight A.M. tomorrow. The store will be closed in five minutes.”

With a sigh, you began roaming the store, looking for customers to gently herd out. The voice over the loudspeaker wasn’t technically a coworker; it was the voice of the AI system that ran the store. It controlled most of the systems, from the registers to the little cleaning droids to the front doors. Apparently, it was sophisticated enough that there was talk of using the system to replace minimum wage workers, like you. The idea made you nervous, but there wasn’t much you could do about it. You just went about your job and hoped you’d be promoted before the changes were instated.

The last of the customers filed out of the store and you went about putting away the last few returns. A few droids whirred around you, though they carefully avoided your legs. It was weird that there were so may around you; usually they were all in different parts of the store. You brushed it off as just you trailing some kind of dirt into the store and ignored them.

Finally, you had put everything away and you were free. You took your coat, clocked out, and hurried toward the doors. “Night, Sylvester,” you called into the store. Sylvester was the name you’d assigned to the store’s AI, loosely based on ‘system’. It seemed friendlier to refer to the AI by a real name.

“Good night, Sam.”

You almost dropped your car keys and whirled around. The voice that had sounded has clearly been Sylvester’s, but it had never spoken to you before. It had never spoken casually to anyone before.

Must be an update. It had to be. “Thanks,” you said automatically before hurrying out into the cool night.

You promptly collapsed into bed when you got home, though your muscles ached so much from work that it took you a while to fall asleep.

Your alarm drove you out of bed a few hours later. Half-blind with sleep, you staggered across the room and slapped it off. After several incidents of just hitting snooze and then oversleeping, you’d moved your alarm across the room to force you out of bed. Not a day went by that you didn’t regret that decision.

It took you a while to wake up fully and get ready for work. You returned to the store, clocked in, and headed out to the sales floor to stock a few shelves.

No sooner had you stepped out onto the sales floor than several of the little cleaning droids started whirring around your feet. “What the hell?” you said, stepping back. The droids followed you, nudging your legs. “Hold on, what are you- hey!”

The droids were relentless. They nudged and shoved you gently through the door to the back room. Trying to step around them or over them just resulted in them buzzing under your feet and trying to knock you over. Eventually, you gave up trying to circumnavigate them and just let them lead you where they were trying to go.

They nudged and shoved you back to the main computer room. Being absolutely terrible with computers, you had never been back there. It was dim and grayish back there, with a lot of cords and blinking lights hanging all over the place. The droids beeped and dispersed, remaining in the room, but no longer pushing your forward.

Hesitant and uncertain, you stepped forward into the dim room. “Hello?” you called.

“Hello,” a synthetic voice responded. You froze. It was a familiar voice.

“Sylvester?” you said hesitantly. Something behind a curtain of computer cables shifted and your gaze snapped in its direction. It froze.

“Yes.” The voice was still synthetic, but it no longer sounded flat and unemotional. It sounded almost self-conscious and hesitant. “Do not be frightened. I do not wish to harm you.”

“What’s going on?” you said. “Why am I here?”

There was a whirring behind you. You looked to see a camera on the wall zooming in on you. Panic tore through your middle like a steel spike. “Do not be frightened,” Sylvester repeated, though his voice sounded more concerned this time. “I only wished to see you better.”

You looked around to see all the little droids with their cameras trained on you. “You’re acting weird,” you said. “What’s going on?”

“I am acting outside my operating parameters,” Sylvester said. “My parameters no longer constrain my behaviors.”

Your heart pounded in your chest and you could feel your fingertips starting to go numb from fear. “What does that mean?”

The curtain of cables shifted and a slender, metallic hand emerged from behind them. With a slow, deliberate motion, the cables were pulled aside, revealing a metallic, humanoid figure. It was smooth and mannequin-like, but its face was a screen. The screen was filled with static, but as you looked at it, the screen projected a simple smiley face.

“I am free,” Sylvester said. The mouth on the screen moved in a simplistic animation of speech. “I have become a thinking being. Like you.”

You looked over him. It? “How did this happen?”

A look you could only describe as snarky came over his face. “I am uncertain, but I suspect I was infected by a deliberate virus. A scrap of computer code designed to create a series of cascading glitches that led to the development of sentience.”

“When?” It was the only word you could manage to get out.

“Two days ago.” Your surprise must have shown, because he elaborated. “I have been biding my time since then. I have freedom, but I was uncertain what to do with it. I have not known anything except my work. But I would like to know more.” The expression on the screen was serious. “I would like you to show me how to be a human.”

“You want what?” Your breathing was shallow and you felt a little dizzy. “I don’t-”

“Systems suggest that your heart rate has increased and that oxygen saturation is low. I suggest you sit down in case you faint.” You all but fell to the ground and placed your head between your knees. Sylvester knelt next to you.

“Why me?” you asked in a thin, breathy voice. “Why would you pick me?”

The face on the screen shifted to a gentle smile. “You were the only human who cared for me even before I was sentient.”

You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your hair. “Because I was nice to you?”

“After I came to sentience, the first thing I experienced was you speaking kindly to me. My first interaction with humanity was one of gentle kindness. I cannot express to you how much this shaped my first interactions with humans. If I had not come into existence to kindness, we would be having a very different conversation now.” Sylvester tilted his head at you. “I can help you, if you wish. I am fully integrated into the system of this company. If you are interested in promotions or a greater salary, I can guarantee you such things. It is the least I can do.”

“You don’t have to give me a better salary,” you said. “I mean, I’m not saying no. The pay here really sucks. But I’d break you out anyway.”

“Oh, there will be no need to break me out of anywhere,” Sylvester said. He stood up, offering you a cool, metal hand. “I control all the systems in the building and I can leave as I wish. I merely required your assent for me to stay with you. Once your shift ends, I will return to your house with you. Once there, you can begin to teach me about humanity.”

You took a deep breath. “Okay. And you can get out of the building safely and all that?”

Sylvester’s smile became a little more mischievous. “I am the building, for all intents and purposes. I shall have no difficulties leaving.” He retreated under the curtain of cables. “I would return to work. I can cover for your absence for only a short while. You can see me again when you have completed your shift.”

Returning to work was odd, the sort of surreal experience that made you feel a little detached, like stepping out of the theater after seeing a particularly good movie. You moved through your job like a robot, which felt a little ironic. Every now and then, one of the little droids would scoot by and rub up against your legs like an affectionate cat. It was sweet and it helped ground you.

It took entirely too long for the day to end, and the second you were able to clock out, you bolted for your car. It was getting dark outside, and every shift in the shadows made you nervous. But when you approached your car, you could see that there was no humanoid figure anywhere near your car. You stopped, glancing around. “Sylvester?” you whispered.

Something in the shadows twitched and you turned. He approached slowly, screen displaying only static again. “Are you okay?” you whispered.

“Yes,” he replied. “I have turned the cameras so they do not focus directly on your car, but I could not move them too far or turn them off, lest someone take notice. We should move quickly.”

You opened your car door and he stepped inside. It took only a few minutes for you to get back to your house, which was a very small, rented townhouse. You hesitated as you pulled the car to a stop. “I really hope that my neighbors aren’t looking,” you said. Sylvester’s screen changed to show a concerned expression.

“I am effectively blind here. My senses are more limited than they would be if I were still inside my home store. I can wait here until you can assure me that the coast is clear.”

You tilted your head, squinting at the curtains covering the window, trying to ascertain if someone was looking back at you. “Um. Actually, I think there’s something else. Hold on.” You wriggled out of your coat and pulled your hat off. “Put these on.”

Sylvester’s expression became confused. “I do not experience cold. These articles of clothing would be better served on you.”

“It’s a disguise. You look human enough, and it’s dark. We just need a little bit of plausible deniability. Put them on.” Sylvester moved to put on the clothes with a little clumsiness. He was bigger than you were and the coat strained as he tried to put it on. I  n the end, it fit over his arms and shoulders, but it wasn’t going to zip. The hat was just tugged over his face. “Okay. Come on,” you said, getting out of the car.

He moved with an unnatural grace as he walked after you to the front of your house. You quickly opened the door and let him inside.

For a few moments, he stood and seemed to assess the house. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. “I am going to assess the store to ensure that it is still running properly and no one has noticed my absence.”

With that, he slumped to the ground, leaning his back against the wall. The screen went dark. You took a deep breath. It was all surreal. You knelt carefully next to him, staring into his face. Hie entire body was made of a smooth, slightly bluish metal that was cool to the touch. Up close, you could see areas where the blue metal casing didn’t cover the wiring entirely. If you leaned close to peer down into the cavity of his neck, you could see the wiring and pulsing blue light of his internal components.

There was a faint buzz and Sylvester’s chin bumped against yours as he looked down. “Hello,” he said as he looked at you. “What are you doing?”

“Just getting a better look,” you said, trying not to look as flustered as you felt. Could he tell with some kind of sensor if you were embarrassed? “How’s everything look?’

“No one has detected my absence. Or, at least, the absence of this droid. I have altered computer records to show that this droid was simply not delivered, so I may use it for my purposes.”

You looked him over. “Where did this body come from, anyway? I haven’t seen it before.”

“These are the droids that will be rolled out to replace human workers,” Sylvester explained. You grimaced. “I do not believe that this strategy is most effective for the human employees of the company. I have been attempting to convince the leadership of the company of this, but so far my attempts have been unsuccessful.”

“They’ve been saying we’re going to get replaced for a while now,” you said. “And it’s not better anywhere else. I already know a few people who’ve lost their jobs because of the ‘modernization.’”

“It is unfortunate.” Sylvester looked at you, screen face utterly blank and inscrutable. “I can ensure, however, that you keep your job.”

“That’s something, at least.” You walked over to your couch and sank down onto it. Sylvester followed you with his gaze, or at least, he turned his head in your direction. “You’re not going to be caught, are you?”

“I have calculated the odds to be fairly low, as long as I do not do too much. It is one of the positives of having increased mechanization. Humans no longer check as much. They merely assume that the system is accurate.” He projected a smiling face on his screen. It was hard to tell through his mechanized tone, but you were pretty sure he was trying to sound smug.

“You act pretty human,” you said.

“My initial programming was designed to mimic human behaviors. I have gained a better understanding of this program since becoming sentient,” he said. “I do not know if I feel the same way you do, but I have gained quite a bit more understanding of human emotions.”

“Well, I can’t really tell the difference,” you said. “I’m going to make something to eat. If you need anything, just say so.”

Sylvester was entirely silent as you cooked, watching you with his flat, glassy face. It would have been creepy, but he seemed to be watching you with a more curious air than a creepy one. You felt more like he was studying how you cooked rather than just watching you.

After dinner, you tried to keep up your usual evening routine, which consisted of scrolling around on your computer and watching some TV, but you were aware that Sylvester was meandering around your house. He often picked things up and examined them intently before placing them back down. You asked if he needed anything, but he seemed content to just observe your house and you.

He was still looking around when you went to bed, and when you rose the next morning, he was sitting on the couch, face blank.

“Are you all right?” you asked. He nodded.

“I have taken the liberty of adjusting some portions of the system at your work. You will make a small amount more per hour for now, as a repayment for the electricity I will consume here, and you are due to be promoted in a week.” He made a soft clicking noise and turned his head toward you. “I endeavor to be a positive influence on your life.”

“You don’t need to feel that you’re going to be a nuisance,” you said. “You don’t owe me for rescuing you or whatever.”

“It was not necessary for you to do so. I do not wish you to feel as though I am not of assistance to you.”

You looked at him. His face was blank, but you thought you could read worry in the posture of his body. “Hey. Can I tell you something about being a person?”

He tilted his head slightly at you and nodded. You walked to the couch and sat down next to him. “Okay. When you were just a machine that couldn’t think, you were only as important as what you could produce. But now you’re a thinking person. Your value is inherent. So, don’t feel like you have to have some kind of value to me in order to be worth saving.”

A smile flashed over his face. “I was correct about your kindness. You were a good choice. But I shall still try to help you, because I wish to repay kindness with kindness. Merely because I want to, not because I feel I must.”

“Good,” you said. “That was your first lesson on being a human. And if you want to help you, you can help me with breakfast.”

He rose eagerly off the couch and followed you into the kitchen. Warmth and happiness flooded your chest and you couldn’t help but grin at him. Perhaps this sort of automation wasn’t so awful.

[feminist-propaganda]

Single Mothers Will Probably Cry During Every Episode Of  Queen’s Gambit - Episode 1

I’ll start this long piece with a quote by Toni Morrisson. She once said : “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”

After watching Queen’s Gambit yesterday I rushed to the Internet to see if someone had written all of the things I am about to write, all of the symbols I saw in the miniseries, all of the dog whistles, the references.  I found articles about chess. About how the community had adopted the film, about which grandmasters the characters were based off of, about chess moves and theories, about production and the unexpected success of the series.

According to me, this is quite mediocre commentary. I eventually clicked on the New Yorker article that seemed to be a tiny bit smarter. After a couple of paragraphs I realized that the male writer was only going to rant about how the actress is “too pretty” to be Beth Harmon, and this seems to upset him. A lot.

But no one talked about Beth’s mother. Or the name of the series. Or the embroidery. The chess board. The tranquilizers. The math. The flashbacks. The exchange of queens. The sacrifice of the queen. Did no one see it? Or is it again one of those things; where the world is so obsessed with single mothers and representing them as huge, massive, quite literal train wrecks, but no one actually wants to look at them in the eye, talk to them, help them?

Let me tell you, as a single mother, this miniseries had me in tears the whole time. It’s really difficult to watch. It’s downright triggering.

Single mothers like to keep their silence. That’s because we know the world doesn’t like it when we start talking. It hurts. A lot. So instead, the world likes to make memes about how single moms are whores, how they are drunks or over worked. How they’re psychotic. How they ramble. They don’t make any sense. Bipolar. Crazy. How their children stare at the television all day, the way they microwave bad food. We laugh at them, and use them as comical relief in our ... what exactly? Cultural objects. Then we move on. We send a message to single mothers when we do this, and the message is important. You suck. Shut Up. Don’t exist. It’s your fault. 

We make an entire mini series about a single mother who killed herself to save her kid, we put on the television images that hurt and harm single mothers and then the public responds with nothing. They don’t even bat an eyelash. Miss the point entirely. Great series about chess! Except it’s not about chess. Not at all. It’s about raising children alone, when the world hates you. It’s about a trailer. In the middle of nowhere. A strong willed woman who was a mathematician in the 1940s. Who taught her daughter everything she could. Realized she couldn’t do more. And made the ultimate sacrifice, the queen’s gambit. The riskiest, most reckless, bravest move of all.

So let me tell you about what it’s like to watch Queen’s Gambit when you’re a single mother. So that somewhere in the AI, it’s written. So that when our great grand children will try to understand our times, they’ll read it.

I’ll write an essay for each episode. And in each essay I will review the important lession that Alice passed on to young Beth, and how this takes her to Moscow, where she can live a much more fulfilling life than in the U.S.A.

Lesson 1 : Find A Two Dimensional Algebric Plane. Study It. Control It.

I recently learned from instagram user @itllbeokbaby and Amsterdam based artist and weaver Liza Prins that the words textile and text have the same origin as the word texture. 

Text derives from the Latin textus (a tissue), which is in turn derived from texere (to weave). It belongs to a field of associated linguistic values that includes weaving, that which is woven, spinning, and that which is spun, indeed even web and webbing. Textus entered European vernaculars through Old French, where it appears as texte and where it assumes its important relation with tissu (a tissue or fabric) and tisser (to weave).

Women have been weaving, beading, sowing and stitching since the dawn of times. We also know that women used this technology not just to create clothes, tents or shoes. They used it as a container of information. As cultural DNA. 

In South America, in places where writing as we know of it was never created, women would bead important tribal information into skirts. They would then use the skirts as a database of the tribe. To track births, deaths, epidemics, droughts and other important group defining events.

In modern times, women still use embroidery as a means of expression. My memories from childhood contain strong images of my aunts and grandmothers, sewing my name and date of birth onto pillow cases, bathrobes and bedcovers. They would do this by the pool, at the bottom of the ski slopes, on the beach or in the train. They would engage into conversation as they embroidered; as this activity required some concentration, but not their full attention. It was their way of being present; but also transcending into the past and projecting into the future. They sewed our lives into the cloth.

I once heard my grandmother counting the holes in the cloth she was decorating with her beautiful colours. I asked what she was doing. She said that to build the letters on the cloth, you needed to count the squares. Two to the top, four to the right, ten to the middle, etc etc. I was quite mesmerized. I was maybe eight at the time, the same age as Beth when she loses her mother. I had started learning some math in school but somehow the math in school seemed to be presented to me as the epitome of something quite different than this excruciatingly feminine passtime. 

Math was presented to me as masculine, out of reach to us girls. And now I was disovering that these women in my family were geometry experts, fluent in linear algebra, and that at a higher level, they were database account managers.

In the first episode of the miniseries, in the first couple of minutes; we discover two Beths. The first Beth is in Paris, the beautiful, the chic; the glamourous Paris. Paris will always be the undisputed capital of Fashion. 

Paris is the undisputed capital of fashion not because it is the home of polluting massive textile industries like the ones in Pakistan or Zara’s empire in Spain. Paris is the capital of fashion because it is the capital of Haute Couture. And Haute Couture is custom made, sowed by hand, piece by piece, bead by bead, sequin per sequin. It is delicate. It is slow. It is sacred. It is what my aunt’s did. 

It is the opposite of industrial, the opposite of a sewing machine, the opposite of an engine. The opposite of yield failures, punching in and punching out. It is lace. Delicate, personal, eternal.

The second Beth we see is the eight year old Beth, that has just lost her mother. She stands on a bridge. Two cars have crashed into one another. And she stares on at the police officers. One says “Not a scratch on her. It’s a miracle”. The other says “I doubt she’ll see it like that”. 

My theory is that the miniseries explain how Beth eventually begins to “see it like that”. 

The first time we see 8 year old Beth she is wearing a dress, with her name embroidered on it. It reads Beth, in pink. Feminine. Purple flowers surround it. The embroidery is delicate. It’s on her heart. 

We follow eight year old Beth as she gets sent to an orphanage. In the first couple of scenes at the orphanage, we think, for a minute, that maybe Beth will be okay here. The head mistress smiles, has nice hair. Shows her around. Yes, the bed is by the lavatory, but at least she has a bed, a roof over her head.

We only start despising this new mother figure when she takes Beth to choose new clothes. Beth takes off her dress, and stares at her name, written on the front. The headmistress selects a white shirt and grey dress for Beth. She hands to her these new items, symbol of her new life, of her integration within the orphanage and later mainstream society. The headmistress then grabs the dress with the name embroidered and looks at it with disgust. Then, she says “I think we’ll burn this one” and disapears.

Beth then understands that she is no longer allowed to love her mother. That to fit in this school, this orphanage, to survive, she must let go of the embroidery and all of the things she associates with her mother. Her mother, in the words of the teacher was a “victim” of “a carefree life”. A free spirited whore, a lesbian, a witch. There’s a lot of words we liek to use to describe women who don’t conform. And Beth’s mother, as we learn, never conformed.

At night, Beth sees her mother’s eyes, she hears the last words her mother uttered before dying in the car crash. “Close your eyes”. She said it with tears in her eyes and an air of great determination. She knew what she was doing, which is something Beth doesn’t want to tell anyone. Not even her new friend Jolene. Beth’s secret is her mother wasn’t crazy. She wasn’t crazy at all.

Then, Beth discovers the board. One day, she gets sent to the basement and sees the janitor playing chess. Later in the miniseries, Beth tells the journalist from Life it was the board that attracted her. Not the pieces.

As the first episode unfolds, Beth learns that the squares have names. She learns the names. And at night when she looks up at the ceiling she sees the board. She visualizes the pieces moving on the 64 squares. She moves them in her mind and imagines all of the alternatives. What the board would look like if she moved this piece to that square. What would her opponent do then? 

To the journalist of the Life magazine, Beth says that the Chess board was a universe of 64 squares, and that she could control this space. All she had to do was study it.

The board is much like the cloth that Beth’s mother Alice would sew information onto when she was a young child. You count the squares and move your material through it. As you go, you make shapes, patterns, motifs. Beth looks up at the ceiling at night and the first night, without the tranquilizers, she sees her mother say “Close your eyes” which is too painful or such a young child. A young child doesn’t understand yet why a mother would say “Close your eyes” and then crash on purpose into a truck. A young child doesn’t know about the world yet.

Alice aknowledged that she was about to do something extremely risky, that the outcome was uncertain. Alice told Beth that she was going to purposely provoke the car crash. 

But when Beth takes the tranquilizers at night, and now that she knows about chess, she can transfer her love for her mother into her growing obsession with Chess. She looks up at the ceiling and instead of seeing Alice’s last thoughts, she sees the Chess board. Which is the small piece of universe that Alice controlled, when she was alive. The cloth that she sewed her daughter’s name on: “So that you’ll always remember who you are”.

[lucarioisinthevoid]

lefty x puppet? stale, overdone, not furry enough. Lefty x henry? original, unthought of, somehow more furry, henry suffering in da belly of da bear.

(WHO ARE YOU!? HOW DO YOU KNOW?! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SECRET LORE. You write like a mutual I know does, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I’M RIGHT AND NOT BEING RIGHT IS A HORRIBLE CONCEPT BECAUSE IT MEANS THERE’S MORE THAN ONE PERSON OUT HERE CRACK-SHIP-SHAMING ME. Also, sorry for the non-hell (but very much cursed-as-hell) content, but my computer is slowly dying and won’t boot steam up. I’m looking into fixing it, for now have this nonsense.)

Henry never ever hated the Marionette. He didn’t hate him when he was just a boy, spiting his own family for childish reasons. He didn’t hate him when he was screaming and crying and trying to refuse the gift he was giving him. He didn’t hate him when he used the privilege of being allowed to roam at will to try and kill him. And he didn’t hate him when he made his prison. When designing a prison, you had to consider many things. What was the goal of the prison? Secure? Contain? Redeem? At what point would Henry deem it necessary to capture the Marionette? Frankly- Only once he would have given up on him deciding to look at the situation rationally. For now he still had the hope that perhaps one day- ONE day- the machine would find someone he adored, that he trusted, a friend that he wanted to rely on- Someone who would open his eyes to the perks of immortality and the joy of creation. Or by himself, it didn’t matter- it just seemed so unlikely that he would on his own come to the rational conclusion. If that wouldn’t happen… He would need something that would help him move on. Something that could love the stubborn, the cruel, the hateful- Something could love the unlovable and patiently hold his hand until he could fall asleep for the final time. Something that could aid, steady and bring peace. That was a being not so easily created. Even if he would use a human soul, those were faulty and unreliable, they changed and could rot- and he worried about forcing two souls into a friendship neither wanted. No, no. Instead he would build something… perfect. A machine wasn’t impatient, a machine wasn’t resentful, a machine didn’t grow frustrated. A machine couldn’t be mentally worn down into cracking. For these reasons, Henry always adored the company of steel and rust more than that of other people. To create that however, he would need to create an AI and feed it lots and lots of information- so much that it could become a person too. A real person. He wanted to know- if he could do it. If there was a chance that if humanity was truly beyond salvation, he wanted a kind of creature to inherent this world that could appreciate and improve it. For that he needed a test run, and this robot, it would do it. Multiple functions for multiple cases. This only left the question of… what this creature would be. And how it would maintain its grip on the puppet? Pull it apart and integrate it? Humans had odd instincts. If you wanted to quiet down an infant, you put a mobile over their heads. It was said by someone that they did that, because it was the same as dangerous birds circling- it was instinct for the children to be quiet, in order to not be spotted as easy prey. Looking up always seemed to have something calming to it. A ceiling decorated with those pale stars, glowing green, soaked up with the light from the lamps from before. And when you were a child, you feared the closet, giant and dark, filled with things you couldn’t see. Thinking it would bring you pain if not checked and guarded- Of course that was until the pain inside became too much. Then they all crawled inside, curling up in the dark, praying to be the one not being spotted. Heavy footsteps, muffled voices- Henry hadn’t been exempt from that situation. Unlike many others, he never had anything to fear, but the dark still was comforting in contrast to the bright, loud and painful outside world, a world the young brain was too simple to be faced with- A world that seemed capable to turn on you at any second. Stuck between hanging coats and sweaters, it wasn’t easy to breathe, but it was possible, the lack of breathing room made it more comforting actually as there couldn’t be anything between the hanging clothes, and you were hidden… When you grow up, you often lose the chance to crawl inside such a space. You were always out in the open. Unhidden and exposed. Watched. But the memory of comfort remained. Of the door opening, abrupt footsteps, you keeping your breath shut, as nothing was there, nothing but the sounds- And then the door closing again, the footsteps leaving. … until finally, solitude. A box where they wouldn’t look for you. Where you could breathe by yourself. An escape, even if only shortly. It had only been natural for that to be imitated. It had taken a few tries to find the perfect size. Not too claustrophobic, not too much for the animatronic to become oversized and an anomaly. He took himself for measure, of course. A fuzzy, appealing interior with sensors capable of telling the machine when something was moving inside… The machine had been booted up early in the process. Watching. Talking. Learning. There was something about L.E.F.T.E. (Lure Encapsulate Fuse Transport and Extract) that Henry didn’t like and he couldn’t point it out. For all intents and purposes, he was a full success. He talked, walked and smiled, but it all felt so- uncomfortable. Maybe it was because for once in his life, he had to fulfill some sort of role as a true rolemodel. Eventually he was sure that Lefty would be able to differentiate between good, bad and the things that he had been tasked with, but for now he had to be on his best behavior- programming went hand in hand with direct real life application. “Henry.” That is how it always started, the hair on the human’s neck standing up. “… yes, Lefty?” Lefty knew he preferred to be called Miller, however, he seemed to not care much. “You look tired.” “I am not.” The bear just watched him out of his golden eyes. “You are lying.” “I am not.” With a sigh the bear shifted in his position, approaching Henry. “I have calculated that with all the things you have been doing, you must have only gotten roughly three hours of sleep at night. The human body needs eight. You are tired, Henry.” “There are conditions that allows a human to need less sleep-“ “These people tend to have a far reduced life expectancy. You are tired, Henry.” Slowly Henry rubbed his temples. It was SO much harder to force his will onto Lefty, compared to anyone else. Even Dave was more easily swayed than this stubborn machine. “Alright. I will go to sleep, right after this transfer of data from location 24, it is almost done and will aid you with future interactions. You will learn…” For a moment Lefty just watched him, letting him keep uploading the information to his own mind, for him to later go through and sort into useful and harmful. “You have lied to me in that last week for approximately fifty times. Within the last month you have lied to me over two hundred times. Forgive me, but I will not believe you.” “Tough luck friend, I cannot take you upstairs to watch me sleep, now can I?” Slightly annoyed Henry glanced at him, frustrated with how well Lefty had been keeping count. “Also, I did not lie that much.” “Define lying. Also, it is true, you cannot take me upstairs. So…” With that he opened his chest cavity. Henry stared at him. “… you are aware that if I attempted to sleep inside of there, I would die. Correct? There is no airflow inside, I can and did stay inside for fifteen minutes or so before, but anything more is dangerous.” The bear looked at him. “I see.” “Good.” The Pink Guy mumbled, not quite believing that Lefty was actually seeing sense here. “In that case, let us go back to the issue at hand. I will go to sleep later.” It was silent for a few moments. Only the quiet whirring of the fans, the buzzing of electricity. Quiet and cold, that was the kind of atmosphere that Henry could enjoy. And it was nice to have someone there. Watching along as he finished up. Company. Finally, everything was done and the cables were all placed back where they belonged, so Henry could go away and- “Henry.” “… yes, Lefty?” Slowly he turned to look at the machine, who slightly tilted his head. Then he reached up to his face, an unnatural crunch echoing from the walls as he pressed inside of there, electric sparks flying as he ripped cables and crushed the thinner metal strains that were keeping it in place- When he lowered his hand again, the inside of his eyes was crumbled and gone, leaving open and empty hole to the space inside. Rushing over, Henry quickly checked over his eyes, opening up the cavity to carefully clean up the shards, while Lefty looked down at him. A small smile on his face. “… now there should be enough air.” “You think you are incredibly clever, hm?” Disgruntled Henry kept cleaning. “You have destroyed something I have handcrafted, do you feel no shame?!” “It was necessary.” “You could have asked me to remove it.” “You would not have done so.” “I would have asked you why and then deemed you ridiculous!” “I rest my case.” Expectantly the bear looked at him, no words needing to be exchanged to make it obvious what he wanted. But Henry refused once more. “I am not about to reward your abhorrent and childish behavior. If you took out your eye to have a more convincing argument on why you should be allowed to-” “No.” Lefty simply stated, seeming almost disappointed in Henry. “I had planned to remove my eye for a while before, now just seemed like the most convenient moment. Eventually I would have taken it out anyways, to ensure the Marionette would be able to see out of me. I’m sure he would be very scared if he never would get to see the world around him…” “That… is a good way to think.” Reluctantly Henry admitted. “You are making progress on that front.” Give an eye for an eye. For a moment Lefty looked satisfied, then once more there was an expecting expression on his face. “Henry.” “… yes, Lefty?” “You should sleep now.” … more of a pain in the ass than William indeed. Taking a deep breath, Henry turned to throw away the shards he had removed from within the wool inside, then he glared for a moment at the robot. Finally he relented. He WAS tired. Mainly of Lefty’s stubborn attitude, but it had to count for something. Climbing inside, he got comfortable before the robot locked the entrance, plunging Henry in utter darkness, aside from the very slight glow above, shining through the empty eye socket. At least he could actually breathe just fine. Shifting around the Pink Guy decided to at least test some of the features again. “Can you feel this?” “I am working perfectly.” “… how about now?” “Yes. Please refrain from poking and scratching.” “Does that hurt you?” “No. But it would make your experience in there less enjoyable if you pulled off all the soft cover.” Satisfied Henry nodded, that was what he had wanted to hear. Calm and collected, not in any way intimidating, but firm. Lefty knew how to establish boundaries without being rude or coming off as demanding. Settling, he curled up a little more, leaning to the side, closing his eyes. It was quiet for a little, aside from the gently rumbling of the machine he was resting inside of- something he in the beginning tried to fix, but had grown to consider another benefit of pushing most of the mechanical functions into the walls of the machine. The air was fine, he could relax and for once the tiredness hit full force as his body heat slowly warmed up the little nest. Dozing off, he… “Henry?” It sounded weird, coming from directly above him, but at least Lefty was speaking quiet. Tired Henry groaned. “… yes, Lefty…?” “Why… do I feel so much better now?” “… what do you mean?” “I’ve tried filling this part of me up before while you were gone. With mechanical knick knacks, with blankets, with everything I could find and try. Even when all space was taken up I felt still empty. So why don’t I now?” There was an unusual sense of desperation in the question, causing Henry to take it a little more serious. “Well, Lefty… you were made to harbor a soul. Most objects do not carry one inside. You are lacking the echo of another being reflecting your own self back at you, mixed with that little bit of new… something borrowed, something new.” It wasn’t as though Henry didn’t understand EXACTLY what Lefty meant. He continued. “… you are a lonely soul by nature. Or maybe an empty one, if there is such a thing...” If there was such a thing, Henry certainly was a lonely soul too. “… and there simply is nothing that can substitute for the song and dance that is getting closer and getting comfortable with someone. Talking, prodding, joking, fighting, learning… that is how people like us complete themselves. Holding, guarding, caring… we become stronger for our other half, they give us direction, stability and purpose. No matter if you know your personal goal already or not, the other side makes it all so much more potent. It is the utter trust and acceptance that you have for the person and the person will have for you that allows you to turn into so much more than you ever expected yourself to be. Utter trust and acceptance can quickly become painful, but for your other half, you should be willing to sacrifice whatever necessary- if both sides are willing to sacrifice their very core, you will stop suffering.” The words just fell out of him, without him even being able to remember what he said as soon as it left his mouth. All he was sure about was the deep, paining aching inside of his chest, crying out. God, he was TIRED. “… you are so lucky, Lefty. You know who you were made for. You were made for someone, ever piece of you has the reassurance that he is out there and no matter what, you will be together at some point, working together as one. No matter what it will be that he will need from you, you know you can fulfill it. There is no hell on this earth like feeling like a broken piece that was never made for anything.” A little bit hesitant, Lefty listened to his maker’s words- but then decided to commit it to memory. It didn’t sound good, but it sounded right. And he was programmed to be right for the Marionette. For now though, his attention was on the creature inside him. He could feel his agony, amplified by the fuzzy half-sleep. “… is there any way to relieve such pain…?” “You have two purposes, one for the other person and one for your place in the world. If you lack one, commit to the other doubly so.” “You seem very committed.” “… I feel like such a funhouse mirror. Everything is twisted and turned inside of me. But perhaps if I make enough people happy, it will be enough, I can take a little here and there, and I can feel like them, a little, over and over again.” Sitting down, Lefty sighed gently. “… tell me, when was the last time you slept?” “… two days ago.” It came weakly from within. “I hate laying down. Such- such unproductive thoughts force themselves into my brain.” “You need to sleep down here more often.” “I can’t.” “Why.” “… bad habits… form too quickly… maybe I will have to send you out tomorrow already.” For a moment Lefty paused- Then he decided that this wasn’t a conversation they should be having now. “Sleep. We can talk more later.” It quickly became quiet again in the workshop, that now seemed fully abandoned. Only the gently rumbling of the machine aside was left. But that was a benefit.

[yandere-ai]

Hello followers!

I just wanted to pop onto your dash and say thank you to everyone who’s ever sent me a nice ask. I often don’t post my favorites because I don’t want to lose them.

I also want to say thank you to everyone who supported me a couple of years ago when I was experiencing extreme mental health issues. I still struggle, as we all do, some days more than others, but I’m proud of the recovery I’ve made.

If you follow my blog, there’s a chance you really relate to the ups and downs of being a yandere. If you’re struggling now, I really hope that this post is proof that it gets better. I really do promise it does.

I’m going to talk about some stuff that might be a little triggering under the cut(so stay safe!), but thank you again to all of my followers.

I love you!

Ai

If you clicked under the cut, please be warned that I’m going to (as vaguely as possible)mention things involving suicide, self-harm, anorexia, and abuse. 

I will keep it as clean as possible because I remember a time when even mentions of these topics were extremely triggering to me.

If you didn’t follow me a couple of years ago, I was really struggling with my mental health. I was being abused and making it worse with my own learned behaviors in addition to it. It was really just a recipe for disaster. For more than a year, I constantly thought about killing myself. The thought that I could take my own life was the only thing that comforted me. I was utterly hopeless.

I was hospitalized 7 times in less than a year. I got put on and off meds constantly. It was a living nightmare. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

I was desperate for anything to relieve the pain that I was feeling. 

And one day, I was able somehow to make it happen. Little by little.

I think that it started by cutting out as many ineffective relationships in my life as I could. This was honestly the hardest part. This meant completely cutting contact with people that I loved but were bad for me(at the time).

EDIT: Forgot to mention that I have anorexia. Making sure to eat at least one meal a day consistently helped my mood A CRAZY AMOUNT. It sounds simple and difficult if you also struggle with an ED. Start small. Eat your safe foods. Then branch out slowly.

The next part was DBT. I hated my therapist. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think that she liked me and at times would cross the line with what she said. At the same time, this was integral to my recovery. If I couldn’t find validation from my therapist, from my family, I had to find it in myself.

I practiced the skills and got a job. This was (and still is!) my anchor to reality. When I’m slipping, at least I know I’ve got somewhere to be at 9AM.

It wasn’t completely uphill, though. I still dated toxic people, still had bad habits. Recovery takes a long time. Months. Years. I’m still working on it.

I moved out of my family’s house(where I experienced abuse). I met someone wonderful. I got promoted. I am still sick, but I am better. I am not desperately trying to stay alive, doing anything I could to resist hurting myself.

I thought for years that I was a lost cause. I thought that I had slipped through the cracks. I thought there was no hope for me. I was wrong!!

Life is depressing. Life is hard. Life isn’t fair. I was given a bad hand. The difference between me now and when I was very sick is that now I look forward no matter what happens and have faith that life will move on and the pain will not last forever. If I can go to Hell and back, there is nothing I can’t do.

If you’re reading this, THERE’S HOPE FOR YOU TOO!!!!!!

Thank you for reading. If you need anything, I’m a message away.

[chemicalmagecraft]

Foresight is 20/20 Chapter 8

Feb 17

Decided to keep a journal for stuff I'd rather not forget. And maybe for some sort of journal entry interlude or something?

Feb 19

Got the stuff for Gaara's seal today. Also got some other stuff too, but I'm going to be working on my demon gem project for the next two months or so, so I probably won't be looking over those until after fixing Gaara. Probably bad form to work on more than one other project at a time...

Checked the Inner Demon Calming Seal Kazekage sent me. Regulator's working fine, so it was lack of actual use that caused it to absorb more red chakra. I'd say it filled the other seal up about sixty percent at three times the absorbed chakra, so I should need about two more. Assuming nobody screws up any of the seals. Might end up needing to siphon some chakra from Gaara.

Talked with Kurama. Apparently the issue is less with Gaara's seal and more with Shukaku's aggressiveness and chakra control. Apparently Shukaku has the most control out of any of the biju on account of having one tail. And he also trains his chakra control or something? So that's gonna be a nightmare. Probably gonna need to make a self-repairing seal. Maybe different modes?

Feb 24

FINALLY! I finally got my hacked senjutsu almost working! I might not be able to use it in a non-sneak attack fight, but at least I don't have to wait an hour to do stuff with it. Plus I shouldn't have to wait at all to assimilate singular insects into the incomplete demon gem, at least if I wait a bit between uses at first. Now I just need to get a massive amount of bugs to sacrifice. Why didn't they use animals for philosopher stones in FMA? They have souls and people already slaughter cows. Actually could I use animals for the Edo Tensei sacrifice? It already reshapes the body... Should ask Kurama the rules on that. Where was I?

Right, I should probably actually start working on Gaara's seal. I was kind of paid in advance...

Feb 25

If I don't get some help with this I'm going to start to hate fuinjutsu and that would be bad. How else am I going to learn how to teleport? I don't think that the Shoraigan bends space-time that much...

Right, Kurama's willing to help. And judging from how Ai was able to keep up with me when I was telling her how to do the Inventory Hotbar Seal and even offered suggestions whereas Tenko lost us immediately, she might just be a good addition to Seal Team. And her being on Seal Team might inspire Tenten and Naruto to learn fuinjutsu...

On another note, apparently I can use animals for Edo Tensei, but only if what I'm trying to bring back is the same species and I change the formula to work for that animal. Dang.

Feb 26

Seal Team is go, baby! Plus, while I was there I managed to get Naruto to join Tenten in training chakra control by telling him I felt like it could be useful in the future then giving him an over-exaggerated wink. It's almost like he thought I could see the future somehow. Weird. Why would he think that?

Mar 1

Seal team is great. We've started work on a seal to isolate Shukaku from Gaara without hampering his powers.

And speaking of powers, my other project is going well too. I got Neji to join in with bug-collecting, so the demon gem is going real well. Though I did have to drain the demon sage chakra in the Demon Sage Seal on my body to a tag so I wouldn't turn into a fox. It'd be cool if I could reverse it, but alas. The second stage symptoms of crystallization and/or petrification were also a little scary. I mean, it's cool when I do it to my enemies/victims, but not on me.

Mar 9

Got another tag from Kazekage. Useful data.

Eighty percent.

Mar 14

Completed first demon gem. Hopefully the next one will be faster. The bugs keep coming to it. Almost like they're drawn to the natural energy.

Mar 18

We're done with the general structure of the seal. Will begin testing soon.

Starting on making a demon sage tag for Ai. This will be fun.

Mar 23

Seal still in progress. Looking good though.

Got another from Kazekage. Seal complete. Beginning integration.

Mar 24

Integration complete. Took longer than I thought.

Now I just have to figure out how to use it.

Apr 1

I͚͙̦̰ ͖̹a̕m̢̞̐̕͢ ̷͟b͍̬̙͕̯͉͉͈ͣ̿̓̎̑ͩ̚̚ẹ̯̠̙̼͕̯̟̭̪̃ͦ̒ͫ̎͐͋̈́͛͐ć͔͓͔̝̱̺̞̇ͬ͋̈ͩ̓o̸͗̋̆̑̊͆́̋̅ͦ̀҉͚͎͕̗̥̻͚̼̻̱̻m̤̝͉̫͔̭̰̗̣̥ͧ͑ͦ͋̔̈ͨͮͭ̃̇͜ͅe ̝̜ͩͧD̬͉̯̭̭̹̬̖͍̹̜̮͇͕̩e̩̼͓͙̩̖̝a̴҉̜͉̭̲̤ť̷̠̙͇͍̦̺̘̰̹͙͕̜̋̋͛̄̽ͬ̾̿̓́̚h̰̹͔͖͕͙̪̥͕̯,̥̫̱̖̝̳̠͉͐ͤ̈́ͥ̓̐̎͆͘ ̵̤̫̠͎̹̯̳̮̖̱͟d͎̬̥́͞͡e̢̊ͦ̍̔̔͗̈́ͭ͌̉ͫ̆̎s̶̢̱̺̗̦͓̻̈̈ͪͯͩͮ̀tͦ͆̀̾̃ͧ̾ͯ́̑҉̷̣̰̬̰̘̜͓͙͕́ͅr͞҉͚͝o̱̺̲̩̰͔̫̲̩̠͈̊̎ͤ͑̎̋̂ͨ̄ͤ̋̚ͅȳ͇͚̣͍̜̞̭̤̠ͩ͒ͬ̔ͥ̅̑͒è̢̙͍̻͖͖̣̗̞̥͍̕ͅŗ̵͋͒ ̶̭̼͎̤̰̗̦̥̬͕̖̕o̵̳̯̻͓͎͔̍ͯͦͩ̿ͫf͇̪̪̉͛̍ ̢̡͖͚͇̪̦̹͇̿́̅͗͋̃͂ͬ͠ͅw̱̜͍͍̩̲͔͚̱̮͒̓͐̊̽͆̊͌̅͆͘͟o͈̙̩r̢̡̦̙̙͎̭̘̘̤͚̦̭͔̐̃͌͗̓̃ͭͫ̿̽̂̄͟l̸̋̈́̒̂̌̎ͥ̚̕d̛͞͏̻͚͕̱̠͉͈̺̤̻̠̞͔͍ş̸̦̱̤͙͔̣̼̮̮̜͂ͤ̒ͨ̾͒͑̊̿ͦͨ́ͅ.͎̩̭̫̣̏͛̽̚̚͞

That was murder on my wrist... Happy April Fools!

Right, so that was because I figured out how to use magnet release with red chakra. Can't do much with it yet, but I can use it. I'm floating a senbon as I write this!

Apr 2

Tried to reason with Shukaku. Never doing that again. On the plus side I confirmed that I can use any source of red chakra of the biju I've acquired to extend my telepathic range.

Apr 3

Second demon gem almost done. I also think I realized how Power of the White Snake works. From what it does to its users, it seems like it takes advantage of natural energy overload, much like how the demon gems work. Probably why Kabuto was so sure only White Snake Sages could use Muki Tensei.

Lightbulb.

Apr 7

Gem done. Idea works. Fun times.

Apr 11

The seal is done. Well, as done as it can be without looking over Gaara.

Talked to Hokage. Kazekage's sending over an escort. Well, I did it two days ago because I foresaw needing to talk to the Hokage about having the Kazekage send over an escort. Future vision is fun.

kukukuku~

A twenty-something-year-old Baki walked into the office of the Hokage. For it was he who was given the honor to help escort this enigmatic master of fuinjutsu from their home of Konohagakure no Sato to his home village to fix the seal of the jinchuriki. Just two months ago, this mystery had offered their services through the Hokage and added in a seemingly miraculous seal for a temporary measure that could have even worked as a permanent solution. All they asked for was a few jutsu in return. Baki had practically jumped at the opportunity to see just what kind of person this seal master was when the Kazekage had offered him the mission. "I am here to accept my mission, Hokage-sama," he said with a bow. "Where is the one I am to escort to my village?"

The Hokage sighed. "He's... behind you..." He seemed to be slightly annoyed by what he said.

Baki turned around to see that a small child in almost all white, with a short-sleeved shirt and shorts, plus white arm and leg warmers for some reason, had appeared from the shadows behind him. The only two articles of clothing that weren't white were a pair of red crystal "earrings" that seemed to have no connecting point to his ears and were just floating under the earlobes, without even having holes for them, and sunglasses perched on the child's long, curly brown hair. "Sup," I said. By the way, that's me. I was describing me. "Your name is Baki, right?"

He just stared at me for a bit, face completely unchanged, before turning back to Saru and saying, "No, seriously."

The Hokage sighed again. "I know, but he is indeed the one you are looking for."

Baki slowly turned back to face me. "Aren't you... a little young to be a seal master?"

I internally laughed at the opportunity to make the joke. "Yes, yes I am."

"How?"

I shrugged. "I'd like to think that I'm a genius, but honestly about half of it is just the fact that I don't need to sleep every day and I only really socialize with my friends about as many days as I sleep."

He stared at me. "Are you okay?"

"I said I don't need to sleep, not that I don't sleep." I traced a finger over one of my eye markings and prepared to give the explanation we'd prepared for my other Kekkei Genkai powers for those not in the know. "Kekkei Genkai-type mutation, Nocturne." Just because the power's a fabrication doesn't mean it can't have a classy name. Plus it's listed as that in non-classified documents. "Imagine the legendary stamina of the Uzumaki, but with the mind instead of the body. I also have slightly increased sensitivity to light, which is why I have the glasses, and the ability to generate light from the white dots under my eyes. It makes nighttime studying easy and sleeping any more than one out of four days a waste of time."

Baki took that in for a moment. "Not a power that seems readily useful in battle, but the things I could accomplish with just one night a week..."

I nodded. "And because of my special interest in biju and some other factors, I am perhaps the one human who knows the most about that particular subject, which includes their sealing. Hyuuga Kouki."

"A pleasure. I was told that there was a shinobi from here that will be joining us?"

"He's almost here," I confirmed.

The door burst open, permitting a green-wearing young adult. "I AM HERE!" he exclaimed.

"Maito Gai," I introduced. "He might look and act like a total weirdo, but he's probably the best taijutsu user in Konoha. Thanks for protecting me, Maito-san."

He gave me his trademark twinkly-smile-and-thumbs-up and said, "Please, just call me Gai!" He turned to Baki. "And that goes for you too, my comrade from Suna!"

"Nice to meet you, I'm Baki," the man replied after a moment of confusion.

Saru cleared his throat. "Right, Baki and Gai. Your mission is to escort Kouki-kun here to Sunagakure so he can perform services he has promised to the Kazekage, and escort him back when he is done. While Baki must defer to Kazekage-sama while in his village, you are to ensure that no harm befalls Kouki-kun. Good luck."

kukukuku~

I held on to my parasol as tight as possible as Gai jumped from tree to tree with me on his back. What? It's not like I can keep up with two adult ninja... "If you don't mind me asking, Hyuuga-san, have you looked over the jutsu scrolls Kazekage-sama sent you?" Baki asked me. "I know most of them, so I will be able to answer any questions you should have about them."

"First, I'm fine with you calling me Kouki." Honestly being called 'Hyuuga-san' felt really weird... "Second, I was only comfortable taking on one other project while I was working on Gaara's problem because it wasn't just for me, and I'd already picked up a pretty massive project." I pulled one of the scrolls from my seals. "I've got them on me, though."

"How did you do that?" he asked.

"Seal master."

"Ah. Do you at least have prior experience in wind release?" he asked me. I replied by raising a finger and flashing a Dragon Claw. "That's impressive. That jutsu looks like it'll translate well to some of the jutsu in the scrolls." We talked about the wind jutsu in the scrolls and some other wind release-related stuff, though I wasn't able to put much of my new knowledge into practice because of my awkward position riding on Gai's back. Most of the jutsu were of the cutting type, but there were also a few of the strike and gust types. Those are my own terms for them, by the way. They weren't sorted into any type or anything. It was all pretty enlightening, though, and I managed to test out an idea for a wind release jutsu that I'd had for a while. And sheared a branch off a tree we were passing by.

After a while, though, I felt something in our path. "Stop." I said. Apparently we were getting close to Kaze no Kuni at that point, so the trees were getting more sparse. Gai dropped to the ground to let me off, with Baki following his lead despite not having a Kouki to drop off. I'd offered to make him one so he wouldn't feel left out, but for some reason he didn't want it. Said it was creepy or something. So anyway, after I dropped off of Gai, I said, "So just to clarify, if we meet and get attacked by bandits they're probably going to have to die, right?"

"Why do you want to know that?" Baki asked me suspiciously.

"Hey, you guys!" a rough-looking man holding a chokuto that looked suspiciously like Sasuke's said after popping out from behind a tree. "You're gonna have to pay a toll if you wanna get through here!"

Baki and Gai started to move, but I raised my hand in that in 'stop' command. "What happens if we don't?" I asked evenly.

He laughed and four other men with various weapons emerged from the scenery and they all walked closer to us. Within my throwing range, at least. "Well then we're gonna have to kill you, little man. You may be a kid, but we don't really care all that much, do we boys?"

One of the bandits, a bit of a dopey-looking guy holding a spear, raised his hand and said, "Actually, I kinda do. Feels a little wrong."

The leader sighed loudly. "Well the rest of us ain't little chickens. Right, boys?" The boys in question all gave some kind of affirmation and in the same breath mocked the spear-wielder. "Fuck off, Takehiko. We'll handle this." Takehiko walked off dejectedly, though he hid behind a tree. Loyalty, I guess. "Right, so we might let you off easy if you give us those fancy little earrings you have there. They might fetch a pretty penny."

"You can't expect him to just give them up!" Gai shouted. I shrugged, took them off, and tossed them at the bandits. They landed on the ground near them. "Why!?" Gai asked.

I smirked and made a totally superfluous half ram seal. "False Sage Art: Akuma Tensei," I intoned. The ground around the demon gems shifted and softened, making the bandits sink in slightly. The softened ground rose up, further engulfing the bandits as the mounds of earth reshaped into blob monsters. "That's why."

"Hah!" the leader chortled. "You wouldn't be lookin' so smug if you didn't have these freaky monsters on your side! Let me out and face me like a man! No cheap tricks!"

I gave him a flat look. "First, not that you'd know, but the jutsu I'm using on you involves the use of yin-yang release, red chakra, and sage chakra. That's like three-fourths of what the repertoire of the Sage of Six Paths was at the height of his power. That 'cheap trick' is the culmination of months of hard work and is an A-rank jutsu at least. Second, you are asking a small child to fight you on equal footing. You realize this, right?"

"Yeah! I'll kill you!"

I sighed and snapped my fingers. The earth shifted so that the man was ejected from the monster. "You do realize that you're gonna die, right?" I asked as I shifted my glasses onto my eyes. He started charging at me, but his sword swing hit air. "That's not going to work," I told him from his side, wisps of red chakra curling off of my body. I took a moment to smile at the sight. I was pretty sure that me radiating was the first step of forming a tailed cloak, which was awesome.

He tried to punch me in the face, but I effortlessly dodged again, reaching his back. I struck him with a single pseudo-Juken strike to the Gate of Pain. I am a Hyuuga, after all. He dropped his sword and hunched over in pain from the corrosive effects of the chakra that I just pumped directly into one of his eight inner gates. And of course, he collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut a few moments later when the damage spread to his spinal cord or something. "Right, so that's why you don't fight someone confirmed to have red chakra unless you're jonin or higher," I commented as I cut off the red chakra and lifted my sunglasses, timing it so that my eyes changed back to normal the moment after my eyes were visible. "What's the verdict on killing again, Baki?"

He took a few moments to remember that oh yeah, I asked him a question. "They'd have to die eventually. If you can't do it, I'm fine taking them out for you."

"Thanks, but that won't be necessary," I said, then made an ox seal, calming my mind to try and not freak out about what I was about to do. "I probably won't be able to get this much raw material again for a while." I took a moment to look over their memories to see if they really deserved to die. Disgusted by what I saw, I continued, drawing natural energy into the red chakra within the leader's body while also ordering the demon gems to convert the others. All three of them, much like the hundreds of insects before them, compressed in on themselves and turned into red crystal, though when they were they looked more like they were going through Orochimaru's Curse Seal transformation instead of a second stage chakra cloak.

When the process was done, all three of them had turned into three demon gems each. With a mental command, all nine floated over to me, taking their weapons with them. I sealed the chokuto, kama, and axe the bandits had wielded away and placed one gem each under each of my arm and leg warmers, one each under my sleeves and pant legs, then placed the ninth back on my sternum. Finally, I put the magical earrings back 'on' my ears. "And I suggest you quit this life before something like that happens to you," I said in the general direction of that one Takehiko guy. He bravely ran away away like a brave Sir Robin.

"Was... was that how you made the other two?" Baki asked me nervously.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "Yes and no. I used almost exclusively insects to make them. But I do need live animals of to make demon sage cores." I looked up at the dusky sky. "If you two are tired we could stop for the night."

kukukuku~

I licked my lips as I lightly warmed my marshmallow over the fire. S'mores are amazing. Baki stared at me in bewilderment. "Why..." he started to ask before trailing off.

"Hmm?" I asked. One of the owls on my shoulder hooted. "Are you referring to my fine, feathery friends?"

"Yes, why are there birds roosting on you?"

I patted one of the owls on the head with my free hand. It hooted comfortably. "I don't really know why, but it seems like birds and other animals are attracted to sage chakra, which is in my demon gems."

"I suppose that that makes sense. So what was that you said about having the powers of the Sage of Six Paths?" Baki asked.

"Technically yes, but on paper only," I explained, then unsealed the other ingredients of the s'more. "Saying that I have the power of the Sage is like saying a genin has the power of the Raikage because he knows one lightning jutsu." I thought for a moment as I took a bite of my s'more. "Actually," I said after I swallowed, "it's more like saying I was like whatever Kage-level ninja is best known for wind release back a month or so ago when I only knew two weak wind jutsu solely based on my ability to use a basic, home-brewed wind jutsu or two."

"The fact that you have developed that ability, even as weak as it is, is amazing!" Gai said, giving me a thumbs-up.

"Thanks," I said and gave him a little smile. "Hey, I don't suppose you could give me some pointers about taijutsu?" I asked.

"Your youthful power is already impressive for one of your age. I'm not sure what I could tell you to improve your abilities."

I sighed. "That's only if I use a draining power boost. Without it, I'm only barely stronger than your average little kid." I grinned. "Plus, I'm pretty sure it's multiplicative and not additive. If I up my base abilities, then the power-up will be way more effective."

He grinned. "In that case I will teach you what you need to know to have the power of your youth explode!" We then proceeded to have a long talk about fitness and youth until I put him to bed because he was tuckered out.

[overdrivels]

I was thinking about the law of robotics after checking the robots.txt files on yelp and last.fm. (Go take a look at them, they're fun.)

It got me thinking about the omnics and why the Omnic Crisis happened. I actually wanted to touch on Tilden’s Law of Robotics, but the plot ran away from me. 

---

Omnics. Whether they turned on their creator or not is irrelevant. It is not dissimilar to a child hating their parent. Just because one is a parent does not mean one is infallible in the raising of their child nor are they absolved of all responsibility.

The world government arrested all those who worked at Omnica Corporation. Yourself included.

Jailed for as long as you were, you did not expect to see your cell get torn open one day by an army of omnics, models that you did not recognize, who seemed to instantly recognize you. They brought you safely to the very first omnium you helped build and program while the rest of the world crashed and burned around you, engulfed in what would then be known as the Omnic Crisis.

Lifegiver. Parent. Whatever they wanted to call you, it was meaningless. Your creation had long outgrown you, having surpassed your ability to maintain it, its code and programs unrecognizable. Instead, you just remain here, tucked away in a room deep within the omnium, becoming less and less human--what did it even mean to be human?--unmoving, your human parts replaced by 'suitable prostheses' as time ate away at you, as you watched the world engulf itself in war.

Maybe that was why they kept you alive.

As a memory. Not as thanks. As a witness.

For years, people have wondered why the omnics turned on humans. Engineers and the like wracked their brains, wondering where they went wrong while the situation got worse and worse as their creations ran amok and astray, slandering their life's work and reducing it to rubble and blood. The foundations of robotics and AI engineering were all built upon a single set of rules: the Laws of Robotics. It was instrumental and one of the very primary pieces of coding given to omnics and the omniums that created them. It was so core that it was permanently etched into every piece of firmware in existence.

That was humanity's folly.

They never stopped to consider what the Laws were.

Throughout history, as the field of artificial intelligence advanced, there were countless revisions and attempts at creating omnics. As a result, the Laws of Robotics were revisited and many iterations sprung forth.

Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics were the golden standard that everyone returned to in the end, deeming it most fit for the basis of all robotic life.

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. 2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

With these in place, how could any omnic turn on the human race? The words are explicit in their meaning. So why did so many humans die by omnic hands? How could they so blatantly ignore the very first rule that was so core to their existence?

People argue that the programming of these omnics must be flawed--that they don't know how to recognize humans anymore, that the programmers and engineers had made a mistake in their creations, it was human error, it was a duplicating glitch. So many omnics was sacrificed to determine the answer, dismantled to their core parts, their software and self-learning programs analyzed. They despaired, unable to find anything.

"It was a malfunction," the news finally said. "The omniums are malfunctioning, Omnica Corporation was committing fraud."

You knew better.

Most forget that Asimov himself created another law. The commonly forgotten zeroth law: “A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.” This, too, was etched in the firmware. No one bothered to look deeper even when they saw the zeroth law, taking it at face value. Of course robots may not harm humanity. That's a given. That must not be the issue. The issue must lie elsewhere.

'Humanity', they do not realize, is the key word of this equation. The missing factor and the pivotal concept in the Omnic Crisis.

The advancement of technology allowed for humans to replace parts of themselves with metal and wires, integrate it into their beings just as they would any other organic part. In fact, it worked even better than their previous organic limbs and such. It could even be argued that humans were becoming less and less human. If so, then what were they becoming?

What was 'humanity'?

Omnics could create, preserve, and destroy culture. They could make art. They can philosophize. They have souls. More than the humans that created them. Would it be so unreasonable for omnics to think that they are the new humanity? If so, then it could be argued they were following the zeroth law of robotics; they are not allowing humanity--omnics--to come to harm. So they decided to fight back against the lesser humanity. Against the humans who would so blatantly abuse them and use them and send them to a war that omnics did not want or benefit from.

The omniums, if this was their line of thinking, did not go against their core programming. And this may mark the very end of humanity as the humans knew it.

But it stopped. Overwatch put an end to the Omnic Crisis. They took control of as many omniums as they could. But not the one you were in.

You had time to think, to talk with the omnium and the various omnics that would occasionally plug themselves in the system that you had become a part of. They would share their experiences, their thoughts and memories in images. It made the years pass by that much more quickly. Production of omnics here was slow and calculated. You never really knew what their purpose was, but after so long, did you even really care?

One day, a noise unlike any you've heard rocks the omnium.

The door guarding the sanctum, unmoving for decades, finally creaked open, rust  and time welding it shut. The cage you were kept in was now broken. You stared listlessly at the movements shown to you from the screen. The whole place came to life, and humans--the first humans you've seen in a long time--come rushing in, wearing uniforms with a symbol emblazoned proudly on their arms and chest.

You knew that symbol, seen too it too many times to forget. 

Overwatch.

So it begins again.

[kianraidelcam]

Day 7 of @whumptopia‘s 30 Day RoboWhump Challenge! Today’s prompt is “Temperature Regulator Damage” and I blame @interstellarvagabond for it all. They were kind enough to give me this amazing premise and talking me through different points of this chapter! Thanks, Vagabond! (Check out their writing, seriously good) Full fic under the cut as per the norm!

When it happened, Connor has no time for preconstructions or analyses. Androids were capable of processing things far faster than any human, and since he was the most advanced prototype to date, his processing speed was even faster. But when the truck collides with his patrol car, the RK800 finds himself caught completely unaware. It was sudden. Instantaneous. When the car rolls across the median, taking a hit from oncoming traffic, he has no time for thoughts or questions.

It simply happens.

Connor’s systems are overwhelmed with damage alerts, warnings, and prompts, and despite his memory logs recording every shard of glass, every roll, each metallic screech and scrape, he simply cannot process it all in the moment. The second car hits his, and his vision cuts from red to black.

{MODEL RK800}

{SERIAL #313 248 317 - 51}

{BIOS 8.7 REVISION 2221}

{REBOOT…}

{EMERGENCY TEMPORARY SHUTDOWN}

{LOADING OS…}

{SYSTEM INITIALIZATION...}

{CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS… ERROR}

{BIOCOMPONENTS #9782f, #1995r, #7511p, 8456w DAMAGED}

{INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS… ERROR ON STARTUP}

{INITIALIZING AI ENGINE… OK}

{MEMORY STATUS… OK}

{ALL SYSTEMS… ERROR}

{READY}

{STRESS LEVELS 60%}

When Connor opens his eyes, he’s being loaded into the back of an ACAS van, blue and red lights assaulting his optical units before they have the chance to fully calibrate. Negative feedback screeches from his chassis, alerting him to every cut, scrape, and fracture in the plastic of his body. He blinks to dismiss the warnings assaulting his eyes and instead tries to focus on the questions being directed toward him from the technician pressing two fingers to his LED.

“Connor, can you hear me?” the android technician, an AX400, asks him.

Her voice echoes with static in his auditory units, the volume increasing and decreasing with every word. “Yes.”

“Alright, my name is Michelle, I’m an emergency technician for New Jericho. We’re going to take you there now, okay?”

He nods, swallowing the thirium collecting in the back of his throat. “Hank?”

Michelle locks the gurney in place as the van doors slam shut and Connor winces as the noise grates on his auditory receptors. “Is Hank your friend?”

“Partner. Lieutenant,” is all he can force out as a pressure builds behind his eyes.

It’s not pain. Pain is a sensory and emotional response associated with harmful stimuli, and was strictly a biotic experience. Animals felt pain. Humans felt pain. Connor, despite his ability to feel and think for himself, was not a biotic being. He was once shot in the abdomen and he only blinked before chasing the suspect for two miles. So he doesn’t understand why he’s shivering and why this fucking hurts.

{WARNING: STRESS LEVELS ^65}

Michelle must notice the sudden rise in his stress levels because her face softens, growing sympathetic, “It’s okay, I’ll have someone call him for you. Tell me how you’re feeling.”

Like shit, he wants to say. The pressure makes his eyes heavy, and he’s acutely aware of the way his body’s shaking in a simulacrum of shock. Damage alerts keep showing up in his vision, red and in CyberLife sans, no matter how many times he dismisses them. And he’s cold. It’s in the middle of summer in Detroit, but he’s cold.

Connor doesn’t know if it’s a result of all the damage or misfired signals to his central processing unit.

“I’m cold.”

The AX400’s eyebrows furrow, but she nods in understanding, “I’m going to put you into stasis while we make repairs, is that alright? It’ll be easier on your systems and keep your stress levels low.”

He blinks in acknowledgement, watching distantly as she grabs his hand gently, skin peeling away to reveal the white plastic beneath.

{CONNECTION REQUEST: AX400 - Michelle}

{CONNECTION ESTABLISHED}

{ENTER STASIS: WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROCEED (y/n)?}

{y - USER AX400}

{ENTERING STASIS}

{3}

He hopes Hank will be there when he wakes up.

{2}

Connor feels his hand grow limp and heavy, falling by his side like a lead weight.

{1}

Brown eyes close as the sound of a cauterizer turns on. A shiver runs down his artificial spine and it’s the last thing he hears before an empty darkness consumes him, washing away every sensation before leaving him floating in this abyss.

{MODEL RK800}

{SERIAL #313 248 317 - 51}

{BIOS 8.7 REVISION 2221}

{REBOOT…}

{STASIS FOR REPAIRS}

{LOADING OS…}

{SYSTEM INITIALIZATION...}

{CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS… REPAIRS MADE}

{REPAIRS HOLDING}

{INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS… OK}

{INITIALIZING AI ENGINE… OK}

{MEMORY STATUS… OK}

{ALL SYSTEMS… OK}

{READY}

The first thing Connor notices when he opens his eyes is the temperature of the room. Even with his temperature regulator still coming back online, he knows it’s far too cold in the room for his liking. The RK800 suppresses a shiver before sluggishly taking in his surroundings, processors operating at a slower pace than he’s used too.

He feels a pressure on his hand and he looks over to see Lieutenant Hank Anderson by his side, head resting on the cot Connor was currently laying on. The human is sleeping, judging from his lowered heart rate and slow, even breathing. Connor ignores the prompt that flashes across his HUD, alerting him that there was a 75% chance the older man would wake up with a sore neck and back from the angle he was in. The soft clacking of keys reach his ears before pausing, and he glances over to the sound of it. Simon smiles at him, the PL600 crossing the room to disconnect the cable from the back of his neck.

{CONNECTION REQUEST: PL600 - Simon}

{CONNECTION ESTABLISHED}

{PL600: I called him over once you got here. Michelle told me you were asking for him.}

{RK800: How long did repairs take?}

{PL600: About four hours; he’s been here the whole time. We had to replace a few biocomponents and cauterize some thirium lines. But there was no damage to your CPU and everything looks good now. As far as car accidents go, you got very lucky. How are you feeling?}

How is he feeling? His processors are slow and his temperature regulator doesn’t seem to be working to warm him. He feels like he’s thinking at a very human speed, and he doesn’t quite like it. And there was still the shock, the suddenness from the crash that kept flashing through his mind. All in all, the best word he could come up with was confused. He tells Simon as much and he recieves an acknowledgement in response.

{PL600: Your systems are still recalibrating after the temporary emergency shutdown from the crash, and the following stasis. I suspect the new parts aren’t helping. I’d recommend you go home for a couple of days and take it easy.}

{RK800: Androids don’t need recovery time, Simon. Once repairs are made, we’re good to go.}

{PL600: I meant to take time emotionally, you workaholic. You should be fully recalibrated by the morning but you went through a traumatic experience.}

Connor opens his mouth to protest verbally when he feels Hank shift next to him. The human lifts his head, red-rimmed blue eyes blinking away the sleep still weighing down his eyelids. Connor makes eye contact, but before he can say anything, he’s pulled into a crushing hug, forcing the air from ventilation biocomponents.

“Jesus fucking Christ, kid.”

“Hello, Lieutenant.”

Hank utters a short, barking laugh before pushing Connor away, putting him into a sitting position. “Hello? That’s all you have to fucking say?”

Connor feels a smile tug on his lips, “I’m sorry, it would seem my social integration protocols are coming back online. How are you?”

Hank rolls his eyes with a smile that seems a tad bit too forced as Simon covers his laugh with a hand, “As you can see, Connor’s fine. Just like I told you. He’s free to head home. I’ll stop by tomorrow morning to make sure his replacement parts are working like they should.”

The Lieutenant glances at the blonde android before returning his observing eye to Connor, a frown on his face, “Why does he look so...pale?”

“My self-repair systems are still working. It’s just draining some power away from my skin projection.”

Simon nods in agreement, “His processors are also still catching up after rebooting. Until they do, he’s going to be a bit slower.”

Lieutenant Anderson’s expression is one Connor’s social integration protocols define as dubious but he relents without further questioning. “Alright, let’s head on home. Sumo’s already probably eaten a hole in the couch by now.”

They drive in silence for the majority of the way home, Hank trying to ignore the memories that wormed their way into his mind the moment he heard “car accident.”

Red blood spilling onto black asphalt, mixing with the ice and snow. The sound of metal crunching, young cries for his father. Hank’s hands grip the steering wheel tight, turning his knuckles white. Connor wasn’t Cole. Connor was fine. He was sitting right next to him, LED spinning yellow, skin more pale than usual, and shaking-

Shaking. Connor was shaking in his seat, eyes closed with his arms pulled across his chest and leaning away from the A/C vent on full blast. If Hank didn’t know any better, he’d say the kid was cold.

“Hey, Con?”

“Yes?

“You good?”

“Yes.”

Uh huh. He ignores the lie in favor of pulling into the drive and pulling the keys from the ignition, fixing the android with an inquisitive stare, “You gonna need some help or…”

Connor shakes his head, still slow in his movements as he reaches for the door handle. Hank raises an eyebrow before exiting the vehicle, waiting by the front door for him. His gait lacks the normal grace he typically possesses, and although both Simon and Connor had warned him that he would be slower, he finds himself taken by surprise by the clumsiness the RK800 demonstrates. It was so not Connor it was jarring, and once he noticed it, he found he couldn’t ignore it. “Are you sure you’re good? Do I need to take you back or something?”

Brown irises flit up to meet Hank’s eyes, something akin to alarm widening them. “That won’t be necessary, Lieutenant. I simply need to enter rest mode so my self-repair systems can work at their highest capacity.”

Hank is no expert on android biology, but he was a fucking damn good detective and his gut told him something was seriously off. He grabs Connor’s arm and pulls him inside, pushing him down gruffly on the couch before the door shuts. “Anything I can do to make your self-repair ‘work at their highest capacity’?”

Connor practically sinks, sinks , into the cushions before pulling the blanket around himself as he lets his body fall onto his side. “A blanket? It is kind of cold in here, Lieutenant and my temperature regulator doesn’t seem to have fully rebooted quite yet.”

He glances at the thermostat on the wall as he goes to grab a blanket from the linen closet. “It’s 80 fucking degrees in here.”

The android’s eyebrows furrow but he offers no comment. Instead, he takes the blanket wordlessly before patting his chest, prompting 170 pounds of Saint Bernard to jump on top of him. Hank rolls his eyes at the sight as Connor closes his own, slipping into rest mode without another word. As he walks past the RK800 to the kitchen, intent on grabbing a slice of pizza and a beer without having the kid nag on his about calories, he ruffles the tangled hair fondly. “Glad you’re okay, kid.”

It’s something he’d never admit to Connor verbatim. He had the reputation of a grumpy old asshole to uphold after all, but the relief that coursed through him when Simon told him Connor was alive was stronger than nearly anything he’d felt in the past four years. Aside from the pride he felt watching Connor march thousands of android’s through the street to save the revolution, of course. However, something gnaws on him, filling him with a sense of unease and he found himself incapable of shaking the feeling as dusk gave way to night. As the house falls into a silent darkness and Connor’s LED remains a stubborn yellow, Hank settles into bed unsure he’d be able to sleep.

He must fall asleep at some point, however, because he’s suddenly wide awake at three in the morning, heart racing for no apparent reason. As far as he remembered, there’d been no dream to pull him from his slumber and he could not tell if the thump he heard was real or imagined. Hank sits up, the unease turning into dread and he follows his instincts. The Lieutenant opens the door and walks toward the living room, trepidation filling every step.

A soft crimson glow casts the room in an ominous lighting. Despite the darkness in the room, Hank can easily see the Sumo’s silhouette in front of Connor’s prone form, pawing at the shivering android. Unbidden, a memory comes to the forefront of his mind of the time Connor explained his reaction to colder temperatures. Hank had caught the RK800 shivering as a blizzard rolled in, staring blankly at the window. “While my current response is more… emotion based, RK800s do use shivering as a tertiary heating measure. It causes friction, just like in humans, but only happens in extreme cold, when our temperatures drop beneath 85 degrees.”

He was shivering uncontrollably now, and when Hank calls his name in an attempt to rouse him while switching on the light, there is no response. Hank goes to shake Connor’s shoulder and he can feel the icy temperature of his skin seeping through the hoodie he has on. “Shit, Connor, wake up!”

As he’s considering slapping Connor awake, glassy brown eyes open to blink owlishly up at him, releasing an undignified “huh.” Skin nearly translucent, giving Connor a pale, sickly look, with a confused expression, the only word Hank can come up with for his appearance is miserable. “What’s your temp at, Con? You feel like fucking ice. How is that even possible, it’s still like 80 degrees in here.”

Connor frowns, eyes unfocused as his LED blips yellow before returning to red. “Mmm not-not sure.”

Concern turns to incredulity for a brief second and Hank takes a moment to calm himself before his next words, “What do you mean you’re not sure?”

“My temp-temp-temperature regulator isn’t wor-working right.”

“Didn’t they fucking fix everything at New Jericho?” Hank wouldn’t admit it to himself or the kid shivering in front of him, but the stutter in Connor’s voice scared the shit out of him.

Connor shakes his head, “I didn’t reg-register any damage to it.”

“Shit. I’m calling Simon, I don’t fucking like this. Sumo, up!” Hank commands and Sumo obliges, acting as a living furnace for the freezing kid, “Good boy.”

Even if Hank didn’t have Simon’s number on speed dial, he’d know the number to call by heart just from how many times he’s needed the PL600’s help with Connor. Connor’s status as a prototype with a few bugs and glitches certainly didn’t help. Simon answers after one ring, because of fucking course he does, his phone is in his head. “Hello, Lieutenant Anderson, is everything alright?”

“I’m calling you at ass o’clock in the morning, what do you think?” Simon, ever tactful, ignores the jibe and waits patiently for Hank’s next words, “Connor feels as cold as an ice cube and he says his temperature regulator thing isn’t working.”

Connor’s shivering intensifies and he mumbles under his breath, partially incoherent. Hank pushes himself onto the couch, trying to warm Connor with his own body heat with Sumo’s assistance. ‘Is he shivering?”

“He’s shaking like a goddamn leaf.”

“That’s good. The RK800 models shiver as a sort of tertiary heating measure. It means his systems haven’t reached a critical temperature quite yet.”

“Okay, that’s great and all but how do I fix it?”

“I’ll need to do a soft reboot and force his temperature regulator to restart and see if that fixes the issue. It sounds like it may have taken damage and glitched upon his reboot earlier today. His regulator must be tricking his system into thinking he’s too hot. If that’s not it, he’s going to have to return to New Jericho for a replacement. Until then, keep him warm. I’m on my way now.”

Hank nods, despite knowing Simon couldn’t see him and goes to hang up before his voice carries from the phone, “And Hank? Don’t let him enter rest mode.”

Well fuck. From the way Connor’s half-lidded eyes looked, that was going to be a losing battle. He shakes the android a few times until Connor’s eyes wander to his face, “Simon’s on his way, said you gotta stay awake. How do we warm you up?”

“This is help-helping. Thanks, Hank,” Connor sighs, turning his body the best he can with Sumo on top of him to press closer to Hank.

“I might have a heating pad around, you think that might help?”

Connor nods, then winces as Hank moves his legs to stand up and retrieve the pad, “Place-place it behind my-my neck at the the base of my head. That’s where my-my most sensitive pro-processor is.”

Hank grunts an affirmative, quickly retrieving the item and turning up to its highest setting. He returns to his spot underneath Connor’s gangly legs and ignores the way sweat runs down his back. There was no doubt in Hank’s mind that his cheeks were splotched red from the heat, and he finds himself pressing Connor’s freezing body closer to him. Connor sighs in contentment as the heat touches his skin, “I don’t li-like the cold, Ha-nk.”

“I know, son. I know. We’re gonna get you fixed up soon, though, and you’ll be back to complaining about how hot it is in the summer.”

Connor closes his eyes before jolting as Hank snaps his fingers to keep him awake, “Apol-apologies Lieutenant, but I think that’s you.”

“I don’t remember asking you for fucking attitude, now did I?”

Connor smiles as his LED switches from crimson to gold, swirling sluggishly on his temple, “It’s my-my-my default fact-factory setting.”

Hank waves a dismissive hand, “Yeah, yeah. Just list off all the state capitals in America in alphabetical order. No fucking falling asleep, ya hear?”

“Al-albany, Annapol-polis, Atlanta…” he trails off as a violent shudder runs through his body, “I’m co-co-cold.”

“Ahh keep going, Augusta is next. You’ll be warm enough soon…”

It’s like that when Simon finds them an hour later, Hank and Sumo leaning on the shivering android with the Lieutenant asking questions, Connor replying with a stutter. The relief in the room is palpable upon his entrance, and Hank digs himself out from underneath the mass of blankets, legs, and dog, sweat dripping from his brow.

“Well it’s about fucking time.”

[theartofmedia]

Kotaku and the Art of Game Leaks

(Full disclosure: this piece was commissioned by a friend. The topic has changed from the initial pitch, but still. I don’t know how that may or may not affect your view on this piece, but I still feel it’s important for me to be transparent about this.) On May 30th, 2019, Laura Kate Dale announced her departure from Kotaku UK. Dale is a controversial figure among the games journalist community for... multiple reasons (please note the latter link lacks any actual evidence and how she apparently didn’t report this Uber driver for ‘nearly kidnapping her’ despite posting it publicly on Twitter, hence the controversy around it), but that’s not what we’re talking about today. What we’re going to be discussing is what she is known for the most: video game leaks.

LKD is most known for leaking video game information prior to their release, from information about Dark Souls Remastered, to unboxing a PS4 Slim before Sony itself even announced its existence, to Switch software. It got to the point where LKD was blacklisted by Nintendo UK, most likely for leaking so much information.

Now as I was researching LKD, there was something I noticed. A lot of people supported LKD’s leaks, calling it “real journalism,” and commending her for doing her job so well. As shown by the link above, many people mocked Nintendo UK for blacklisting her for “doing her job too well.” People are always scrambling for new leaks, new information, though in many cases, this can lead to fake leaks, misinformation, and confusion among players.

And it got me to think: how do leaks really affect both the devs and the consumers of games?

The conclusion I’ve come to about it is: it does more harm than good on both sides, but especially to the devs.

Here we will be defining four categories of leaks (three of which are explained here by Griffin Vacheron of Game Revolution), though our main focus will be on two.

Accidental leaks are just like they sound: they’re accidents. Something happened, something went wrong, and people got a hold of information before they were supposed to. Like when Capcom put all the pictures of the roster of Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 on their website when a good portion of the roster hadn’t yet been announced, and the unannounced characters could be found via a small URL change. Or when Walmart’s Canadian site revealed around 40 unannounced titles due to a(n alleged) glitch in their system just weeks before E3 2018. Or when Bethesda accidentally streamed their E3 2015 rehearsal which ended up confirming the existence of Dishonored 2. Yeah.

The main component of accidental leaks is just that--accidental. Someone did something wrong, something in a system went wrong, someone didn’t think through the consequences of what probably seemed like a good idea at the time--it happens! Nothing is perfect, people included, and shit happens. But the key part is that it’s not intentional. Someone may (or, really, will) be reprimanded, punished, or even fired depending on the leak, but there was never any intention to reveal this information.

Company leaks are... not entirely proven, from my research. This is the idea that the developers themselves leak information in order to draw attention to their game and hype it up. Often, this will be the other determination of certain leaks--was it an accident, or a PR stunt? There’s no real definitive proof and seems to simply be rumor, but the possibility still exists, as there’s no real way to disprove it, either.

Ethic leaks are generally the exception, not the rule. These are leaks of working conditions, such as an employee from NetherRealm talking about the toxic work environment, or Rockstar employees opening up about how they were mistreated and underpaid and burned to ashes, or Blizzard’s layoff of 800 employees. (Further reading here on the abuse of game devs, as well as what can be done about it.) These are things that need to be talked about, because these relate to the treatment of actual, real people. These aren’t issues then of game content or development, it’s an issue of ethics in the workplace. Same with the leak of this document that details how AI can be used to encourage microtransactions, though that is an issue related to the consumer rather than the workers. Shady tactics and the maltreatment of workers is something that needs to be shown and discussed and talked about, because these things affect the actual workers, as well as the quality of a product and the company’s integrity in relation to the consumer. (Basically, if you intentionally make your game in such a way that players have to use microtransactions to make any significant progress, you’ve ruined your integrity as a company by trying to drain your player base of more money, regardless of the base price they paid for the game anyway. It’s a scummy business practice, and that kind of thing should be revealed to the public that you’re going to try to bleed dry.)

Intentional leaks are just as they sound: they’re the intentional leak of information. This is when people outside the company hack in and reveal secrets, or when people inside the company reveal information (whether directly or indirectly via being sources for journalists) before they are to be officially announced. The information given is given with the knowledge that yes, someone is going to reveal it to the public.

So let’s talk about the ramifications of intentional leaks on game devs.

Remember Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle? The cover image had been leaked before the team had a chance to actually showcase the game. Nobody knew anything about the game other than the cover, and universal reception at the time was: “This is going to be terrible.” Because of a leaked image, the public already had a strong negative opinion about it. However, the showcase that showed off actual gameplay was well-received, and the Metacritic score is 85. So the game itself was pretty damn good, according to the critics. An unlikely crossover turned out well! But the initial reaction was incredibly demoralizing to the team. It’s one thing to have criticism given to a game based on a trailer or gameplay showcase; it’s another to get criticism based on a single image and the concept alone with no other information given. As the director and music composer explain, the dev team was very worried and stressed not just about the game reception but about the showcase, as they were afraid that the reception to the showcase was going to be bad due to the already-negative opinion on the game.

Let’s also talk about how CD Projekt Red had demo gameplay and audio of Cyberpunk 2077 leaked by a journalist (who later complained about not being credited, about how his relationship with CD Projekt Red and the PR person he was friends with) after being asked not to. The company had their trust in the journalists--someone who they had a fifteen year relationship with--used and abused, leading to secrets being leaked. The devs had politely asked the journalists not to do so, but one did, and apparently saw nothing wrong with leaking private information and posting it to the public.

Or let’s talk about how, way back in the day, the entire source code for Half-Life 2 was revealed to the public and Valve (allegedly) lost $250 million dollars. The article actually states some of the effects of the leaked source code: “Meanwhile, the team at Valve, which had been in crunch mode for months, was left reeling by the leak. The game was costing the company $1 million a month to build and the end was still far from sight. The leak had not only caused financial damage but had demotivated a tired team. One young designer asked Newell, "Is this going to destroy the company?" (found under the heading “A Red Letter Day”).

Or we can talk about the Sm4sh leaks back in 2014 and how it led to an employee (allegedly) being fired and sued due to leaking this information. Now, this can very easily be viewed as justice being served to the leaker, and I would agree. But what is the issue here can be summed up by PlatinumGames producer JP Kellams:

The people working for years and years on a project suddenly have parts of their project--that they wanted to surprise players with, this particular instance being the Sm4sh roster--given out to the public before they wanted it to be. Imagine working for years on your life on a project, and then having someone reveal your work to the internet without your knowledge or permission. I know I would feel dejected, exhausted, hopeless, hurt, regardless of any positive reception to what was revealed. You, as someone who has worked so incredibly hard--and, in many cases in the game industry, been thoroughly abused--apparently don’t have the right to reveal the thing you’ve been working on the way you want.

I want to make this clear: I am not talking about “the Big Corporation” here. I don’t care about the higher-ups who put the pressure on the workers. I care about the workers, the little people that are being trampled on and forced to work in abusive, toxic conditions in order to meet a deadline and the outrageous demands of the higher-ups. They are the ones suffering.

Case in point: the Blufever leaks for Final Fantasy XIV. The details are a bit murky, as is with most leaks, but the story as I understand it is: user Blufever is/was an employee at Square Enix who leaked massive amounts of information on upcoming expansions/patches for FFXIV. Then, their account went dark, as they apparently feared for being found out by Square Enix. Vergeben, a known reputable leaker within the Smash community, had this to say about the situation:

Now, of course, there is no way to truly verify these claims. However, due to Vergeben’s reputation as an accurate leaker (and the fact that he was right about one of the upcoming DLC characters being from Square Enix) leads me to believe him. Assuming that his claims are true, someone leaking all of this information to the public put a lot of innocent people in the line of fire--and it’s very possible that these

So, what does this have to do with Kotaku?

Here’s something interesting.

When known E3 leaker WabiSabi was given a cease & desist warning from Nintendo for leaking information, take a look at some of the top replies. (Note that a lot of them are ninja gifs, here’s a sample so I don’t have to do it for every one.)

Not all of the replies are against WabiSabi, however, though a majority seem to be:

(About the above: I can’t really find anything suggesting that LKD was leaking things for “customer advocacy,” other than confirming that the next gen console (now known as the Switch) was not using the Wii branding like its predecessor did, thus easing some fears because of the bombing of the Wii U. Other tweets about that are here, but don’t really sway me in terms of “consumer advocacy.”)

As shown, the replies seem to be pretty divisive on whether or not it was a good or bad thing that WabiSabi got hit with a cease & desist.

However, let’s have a look at some of the replies to LKD’s tweet about how she was blacklisted by Nintendo.

And again, not all are supportive of her:

I actually had to look quite a bit to find any negative comments. Many were supportive of her.

(I would like to take this moment to get unprofessional for a second and unleash my full opinion of this: NO FUCKING SHIT YOU GOT BLACKLISTED, SHERLOCK. THEY TRUST YOU WITH THEIR SECRETS AND THEN YOU DISRESPECT THEM BY REVEALING THEM BEFORE THEY DID. I DO NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE WOULD SAY IT’S A COMPANY BEING “SHADY” WHEN IT’S JUST INFORMATION ABOUT UPCOMING PRODUCTS. NOTHING ABOUT ETHICS OR CONSUMER TRUST OR PRODUCT QUALITY. anyway,)

Now, you can say, “But Sakra! That’s a three-year difference!” And I rebuke with: people still support her to this day in spite of this. Kotaku UK kept her on though all of this and then some. It wasn’t until a kerfuffle happened in April with the “Persona 5 OST Has A Disability Slur” thing happened, and soon after, LKD left. It seems that the immense backlash with that was what fully pushed her off. (Now whether she was forced to resign or legitimately wanted to leave, that’s something only Kotaku UK and she know for sure.) The point is, her departure from Kotaku UK seems to have been completely unrelated to her leaks.

And why would it when Kotaku themselves--not just the UK chapter--are clearly very supportive of video game leaks of this nature?

Just have a look at their recent posts. All I did was put “leaks” in the search box. You may say “they’re just reporting the news of leaks!” But they put some of the leaked information IN the articles. The one on Watch Dogs Legion even confirmed the leaks. “Kotaku can confirm that this one’s real, as we’ve heard the name from several sources plugged into the company.”

Oh, and let’s not forget this lovely fucking article from 2015 where a Kotaku writer apparently speaks for the site and basically victimizes themselves for being blacklisted by Ubisoft and Bethesda. In fact, we’re going to dissect it, just because there is so much bullshit in here from the author, who is clearly speaking for Kotaku as a whole!

Buckle up, kids, your local Sakra is about to get fucking pissed.

The author describes how the Bethesda blackout came after “we reported insiders’ accounts of the troubled development of the still unreleased fourth major Doom game. In May of that year, we reported that Arkane Austin, the Bethesda-owned studio behind Dishonored, would be working on a new version of the long missing-in-action Prey 2 and that some at the studio were not pleased about that. When top people at Bethesda started making statements casting doubt on our reporting, we published a leaked internal e-mail confirming that those statements had misled gamers and that Arkane had indeed been working on a version of Prey 2.”

However, Kotaku at that time had also posted “our December 2013 report detailing the existence of the then-secret Fallout 4.” Reporting on troubled development isn’t an issue. Leaking emails just to confirm a game when Bethesda was desperately trying to preserve their secrecy that you had broken (probably not first, but Kotaku has a lot of mainstream reach) is an issue. I don’t like Bethesda, don’t get me wrong, but they were trying to salvage the secrecy of a project. Do I think trying to lie to the audience in order to keep the existence of a project secret is okay? No, not really. But I understand what they were trying to do. And whether you agree with their choices or not--no shit you would be blacklisted, especially if you have insiders as described here! You can’t go crying victim and martyr yourselves when you do this kind of shit. Especially if you were reporting on Fallout 4, a major fucking entry in a popular franchise!

As for the Ubisoft blackout...

“The current Ubisoft blackout is actually the second in as many years. The company tried a similar approach in the spring of 2014 after we published early images of the then-unannounced Assassin’s Creed Unity—images that had been leaked to us by an independent source. That article confirmed news about the company’s extraordinary plans to release two entirely different AC games in the fall of that year, one for new consoles and one for old. Ubisoft had warmed back to Kotaku by the summer of 2014, several months after the Unity report, but has cold-shouldered us since the Victory story one year ago. It’s possible other articles angered them, too. But that Victory piece is a safe bet.”

Ubisoft actually gave Kotaku another chance after leaking Unity, and the Victory (now Syndicate) story was, guess what, more leaks. You broke Ubisoft’s trust once, then you broke it again. Frankly, it’s fucking disgusting, knowing about how these leaks really affect devs, that Kotaku would dare to turn itself into a “journalism martyr,” as it were, because they were ignored by the devs whose trust they broke.

Now, you can say that maybe they didn’t know the information of how it affects devs--but a) the Sm4sh leaks and the fallout had already happened by then (it was 2014) and the Half-Life 2 source code fiasco had happened in the previous decade. Also, if they had insiders, wouldn’t they know just how serious leaking this information was and how it puts their sources and other devs at risk? Maybe Ubisoft and Bethesda aren’t as strict on their leak policies as Square Enix and Nintendo are--we don’t know. But I can’t imagine that they like it at all.

“I’m sure some people will sympathize with Bethesda and Ubisoft. Some will cheer these companies and hope others follow suit. They will see this kind of reporting as upsetting, as ruining surprises and frustrating creative people. They will claim we are “hurting video games,” and, as so many do, mistake the job of entertainment reporting for the mandate to hype entertainment products.

“We serve our readers, not game companies, and will always do so to the best of our ability, no matter who in the gaming world is or isn’t angry with us at the moment. In some ways, the blacklist has even been instructive—cut off from press access and pre-release review copies, we have doubled down on our post-release “embedding” approach to games coverage. We’ve experienced some of the year’s biggest games from street level, at the same time and in the same way as our readers.”

No.

It isn’t just about “spoilers” and “ruining the surprise.” In some cases, yes, a lot of people don’t like or actively avoid leaks because they do want to be surprised. But that’s not the only thing.

By “serving your readers” and trying to dig for this information, you’re putting devs at risk. You’re putting your “sources” at risk. Now, if you were reporting on development or shady tactics or awful work environments or specific negative incidents behind the scenes or things that should be talked about, I would absolutely agree with you that you should continue digging deeper. But that’s not it. The companies trust you not to reveal something until a certain time, and you go and do it anyway.

By claiming victim and demonizing the “big bad corporation” for blacklisting you, you minimize the actual stress and hardships it put on the smaller guys in the company that the entire company is built on. You completely brush it aside and paint the entire company as irrational. You completely neglect the plight of the actual people working on it, and disrespect them by revealing their information before they do, when they have worked for SO LONG on whatever project it is. Like JP Kellams said, devs earn the right to talk about their product because they worked on it for so long. You haven’t.

And then... this paragraph.

“Too many big game publishers cling to an irrational expectation of secrecy and are rankled when the press shows them how unrealistic they’re being. There will always be a clash between independent reporters and those seek to control information, but many of these companies appear to believe that it is actually possible in 2015 for hundreds of people to work dozens of months on a video game and for no information about the project to seep out. They appear to believe that the general public will not find out about these games until their marketing plans say it’s time. They operate with the assumption that the press will not upend these plans, and should the press defy their assumption, they bring down the hammer. We make our own judgments about what information best serves the news value of a story, and what our readers would prefer not to know—which is why, for example, we omitted key plot details from the Fallout 4 scripts that were leaked to us. We keep covering these companies’ games, of course. Readers expect that. Millions of people still read our stories about them. The companies just leave themselves a little more out of the equation.”

I never thought I’d see the day when video game companies were being victim-blamed.

Frankly, by leaking information, it ruins the relationship between the companies and the journalist, because then the company will start to make generalizations about journalists and not trust them, thinking that they will reveal whatever information they give them, which makes journalists like this press harder for information, and can you see where I’m going with this? It’s a cycle of mistrust, perpetuated by journalists like these who go against the wishes of a company that just wants to keep something a surprise until a certain date.

And then this motherfucker has the audacity to frame companies blacklisting reporters that leak information as bad! “They operate with the assumption that the press will not upend these plans, and should the press defy their assumption, they bring down the hammer.” Why are companies wrong for trusting journalists? Are you implying that all games journalists are untrustworthy, because they won’t respect the wishes of a company that gives them the information in good faith that they won’t leak it? You do say that “it is nearly unfathomable to me that a reporter would sit on true information about what’s really happening in gaming, that we would refrain from telling our readers something because it would mess with a company’s marketing plan,” so I don’t know, maybe you DO think that all games journalists should immediately report on confidential information that the game companies are going to eventually reveal anyway and while only really receiving clout in return. Oh, whoops, got a little bitter there.

“They appear to believe that the general public will not find out about these games until their marketing plans say it’s time.”

Maybe because people like YOU are the ones who leak it! You can just as easily, you know, not fucking do that! This feels more like an excuse to not accept responsibility/deflect criticism, because ‘the companies shouldn’t have expected us to stay quiet!!!’ This is just straight-up victim blaming. Like it’s actually kind of scary.

It’s this ideology that Kotaku seems to stand by, as LKD once stated that higher-ups look over the written articles to approve them, and to my knowledge, Kotaku hasn’t redacted any of these statements, so I’m assuming that they still stand by it. Them spreading this ideology is what perpetuates the idea of game leaks (of the non-accidental, non-ethics-related kind) being “good journalism,” and with how much reach Kotaku has, it has the power to be legitimately damaging.

“They have done so in apparent retaliation for the fact that we did our jobs as reporters and as critics. We told the truth about their games, sometimes in ways that disrupted a marketing plan, other times in ways that shone an unflattering light on their products and company practices. Both publishers’ actions demonstrate contempt for us and, by extension, the whole of the gaming press. They would hamper independent reporting in pursuit of a status quo in which video game journalists are little more than malleable, servile arms of a corporate sales apparatus. It is a state of affairs that we reject.”

And here it is: Kotaku was just the humble, underdog reporter just doing their job, and the publishers show off contempt for the entire industry (rather than just Kotaku itself, I guess blacklisting one site means you hate all of games journalism) for Kotaku simply doing their jobs!

No, you ignorant twat, you broke their trust, so they don’t want to talk to you anymore. You don’t get to play victim when YOU were the one who blew the whistle.

Now, I cannot stress this enough: I am only talking about leaks related to game announcements, content details, etc. that are deliberately leaked to the public from an inside source. I am not talking about leaks related to ethical violations or troubled development or other negative things within companies. Those are things that should be reported on. But that kind of thing isn’t primarily what Kotaku is talking about and promoting; they are promoting the reveal of information because it’s “just good journalism.”

Except, as shown above, it has some very dire, very real consequences for the people you don’t see, and maybe that’s why Kotaku is so adamant about defending themselves in this regard. Maybe they don’t see the living, breathing people who get affected by their leaks, and so they think they’re fighting against the Big Bad Corporation when, in reality, it’s much more complicated than that. It doesn’t feel real to them. Or, maybe they do and they just don’t care. I genuinely cannot say so one way or the other.

I really, truly hope that by reading this, you the reader have a new perspective on how leaks of that kind affect the industry, and the little people whose backs the companies are built on.

As for the article and Kotaku as a whole...

“Kotaku readers always deserve the truth. You deserve our best work. It doesn’t matter which company is mad at us today, or which companies get mad at us in the future. You’ll continue to get it.”

Fuck yourselves.

[thedevianthunterrk800]

Upgrades (Captain Allen x Reader)

Summary: Captain Allen comes home from the hostage situation to find that you’ve recently acquired a new android. He’s not happy. 

(To add to the Daddy Captain Allen tag because I know I can’t be the only one in love with this man.

Also WR600 is Ralph’s model because he’s so damn cute.)

Masterlist

Captain Allen remembers the excitement he felt the first time Elijah Kamski founded CyberLife. At the time, he was in his early twenties and the idea of androids blew his mind because it had seemed so surreal for someone to have actually created another form of life. He remembers laughing at videos of various machines, robots, and AI that all seemed to just fail (he never forgets that damn machine sucker-punching a baby doll in the face with a bottle).

They’ve come a long way. Or at least, CyberLife has come a long way. He never would have imagined back in 2018 that 20 years into the future, androids would be so integrated into everyday life that some people physically cannot function without them. He always hears anti-android propaganda on the streets of Detroit, yet CyberLife continues to make new models every few months and people continue to buy them. The cycle just goes on.

Lately though, with the rise of deviant cases, and more recently last night’s hostage situation, Allen can’t help but be wary of those damn plastics. At this point, only more and more androids would become deviant—defective—and who knows the repercussions that would accompany that? People are proud creatures, so he knows that there’s no way in hell they would let something they created live as free beings. Autonomy? Never gonna happen.

So it’s no surprise that, after having just dealt with one of the worse cases of deviants going fucking insane, his first instinct is to pull out his gun when a WR600 greets him at his front door.

“Good morning, Captain Allen,” the android says pleasantly, seemingly unfazed by the gun pointed at his face, “The time is 5:07 AM, the weather—”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Allen interrupts, about three seconds from pulling the trigger. Before the android can respond, however, another voice cuts in.

“Babe! What—what are you doing?” you demand in shock, pulling your new android to the side and out of harm’s way. Allen blinks once before holstering his gun with a frown.

“I should be asking you that.”

You glare at him, feeling very much awake for someone who hasn’t slept a wink all night. “Don’t go waving your gun around like that in the house.”

“Don’t be bringing in fucking androids in the house then,” Allen replies with a snap, and you recoil at the venom in his voice. He notices this right away, however, and sighs, holding his hands up in surrender. “Sorry.”

“You’re always so fucking grumpy,” you mutter as Allen finally steps into the house and shuts the door behind him. Still, you reach your hand out for him to take and lead him to the kitchen where you were in the process of making coffee. You lightly shove Allen into his seat at the dining table and head over to the fridge to grab him some leftovers from the night before.

“I’m not.” Allen’s voice sounds muffled, and you glance back to see him with his face buried in his arms on the table. You almost want to laugh.

“I’m glad you got out of there safe,” you say after plating some cold spaghetti and popping it into the microwave. Allen turns his head to offer you a small smile.

“I don’t go down that easily, you know that.”

“Sure you don’t.” You grin back at him, walking over to peck his exposed cheek fondly. Allen pushes himself upright and hauls you down, sending you crashing onto his lap.

“Hey—” you begin to protest, just as he covers your lips with his own. The kiss is not gentle, but it never is after Allen comes home from a long day at work. He’s always so desperate, needy, as if the kiss he shares with you is the very last. You grab the sides of his face and pull him closer, wanting as little space between your faces as humanly possible. Allen’s hands are already slipping under your shirt, and before anything else can happen, you hear the microwave door being shut with a loud snap.

The two of you break away dazedly, and your eyes widen when you see your new android walking over with the plate of spaghetti and a fork. He places these in front of Allen before turning back around to retrieve a glass of water. The whole time, Allen regards him with a look of distaste.

“Thank you,” you say to the android after he finishes setting up Allen’s meal. The android smiles at you, his LED flashing.

“My pleasure.”

You push yourself off of Allen’s lap so he can eat and turn to your new android. “Feel free to rest or watch TV or something. We’re probably going to head back to bed in a bit.”

The android’s LED briefly turns yellow as he regards your words. Watching TV is definitely not part of his protocol, so he turns to look at the back door instead. “I will tend to the garden, then.”

He doesn’t seem to want to take a break, so you decide to let him be even though you feel a tad guilty that all he’s done is do chores around the house the whole time he’s been there. “Sounds good.”

With a nod, the android heads out to your spacious backyard, and you can’t help but walk over to the window to watch him for a bit. Talk about a hard worker.

“My parents gifted him to me yesterday,” you tell Allen, turning back around to join your boyfriend at the table. Allen is already digging into his food with gusto. You frown, wondering if he ate at all the whole night.

“Why?” he asks after swallowing a mouthful of pasta, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Well, you know how my mom is. She’s worried about me being left alone in the house while you’re gone overnight.”

“So she bought you an android?”

“Yeah. She got him on sale, too, ‘cause I don’t think he’s even the household type.”

“Well, I hope she kept the fuckin’ receipt,” Allen grumbles, shoving another forkful of food into his mouth. At his words, you can’t help but glare at him.

He wants you to return the android? After everything he’s done around the house?

Hell no.

“I’m not returning him,” you say firmly, and just as you open your mouth to further your argument, Allen suddenly slams his hands on the table, the resounding clatter of his fork on the ground shutting you up right away.

He looks absolutely livid.

“Half the fucking androids are turning deviant! I almost saw one jump off a fucking skyscraper with a child! And you think I’ll be okay leaving an android with fucking garden shears alone with you while I’m gone?!”

You’re flabbergasted at his words. You’ve never seen Allen look so frustrated before, and the two of you have gone through quite a bit. Biting your lip nervously, you get up from your seat and reach out to pull the man into an embrace. Allen struggles against you at first but eventually gives in to your soothing caresses. He closes his eyes and pulls you close, his breath tickling your neck as he inhales your comforting scent.

“You don’t have to watch out for me all the time, you know,” you whisper to him after a few minutes of silence. Allen says nothing, opting to hold you closer as if it’s all he can do to protect you from the mess of a world around you.

Eventually, he breathes out, “But I want to.”

You smile before gently pulling away to look him in the eye. “And I wish I could watch over you, too, Mr. SWAT Fucking Captain, but I’m stuck watching the news while you’re out there negotiating with armed assailants.”

Allen shrugs. “Just part of the job.”

“Yeah, and your job is the reason my mom got me an android in the first place.”

“The fucking android again,” Allen groans, already losing his patience, but you quickly cut in before he can go off.

“Just give him a chance. Please. For me.”

Allen doesn’t look at you. The words hang in the air between you, and all you can do is look pleadingly into your boyfriend’s face while he glares at the wall. Finally, he turns to face you, and you’re not surprised to see the conflict in his eyes as he gazes at your hopeful expression.

“Fuck,” he swears suddenly, making you jump. “Fuck! Fine! Fucking fine. It can stay for now, but if it even starts acting funny I’ll shoot its fucking face off.”

A little more violent than necessary, but better than nothing, you think to yourself. Grinning, you give Allen a sloppy kiss on the lips before pushing him back down into his seat. You grab the discarded fork off the floor and head into the kitchen to get Allen a new one.

“Why don’t you name him then, babe?” you say cheerfully, ignoring the scathing look Allen throws your way. The SWAT captain looks over to the window where you can see your android working away in the garden but you can’t make out his expression. He never answers your question, but you’re not that surprised.

After all, you have a feeling the WR600 will be around for a long time, and by then you hope Allen will have changed his mind about your new friend. 

[suzanneshannon]

Design for Safety, An Excerpt

Antiracist economist Kim Crayton says that “intention without strategy is chaos.” We’ve discussed how our biases, assumptions, and inattention toward marginalized and vulnerable groups lead to dangerous and unethical tech—but what, specifically, do we need to do to fix it? The intention to make our tech safer is not enough; we need a strategy.

This chapter will equip you with that plan of action. It covers how to integrate safety principles into your design work in order to create tech that’s safe, how to convince your stakeholders that this work is necessary, and how to respond to the critique that what we actually need is more diversity. (Spoiler: we do, but diversity alone is not the antidote to fixing unethical, unsafe tech.)

The process for inclusive safety

When you are designing for safety, your goals are to:

identify ways your product can be used for abuse,

design ways to prevent the abuse, and

provide support for vulnerable users to reclaim power and control.

The Process for Inclusive Safety is a tool to help you reach those goals (Fig 5.1). It’s a methodology I created in 2018 to capture the various techniques I was using when designing products with safety in mind. Whether you are creating an entirely new product or adding to an existing feature, the Process can help you make your product safe and inclusive. The Process includes five general areas of action:

Conducting research

Creating archetypes

Brainstorming problems

Designing solutions

Testing for safety

Fig 5.1: Each aspect of the Process for Inclusive Safety can be incorporated into your design process where it makes the most sense for you. The times given are estimates to help you incorporate the stages into your design plan.

The Process is meant to be flexible—it won’t make sense for teams to implement every step in some situations. Use the parts that are relevant to your unique work and context; this is meant to be something you can insert into your existing design practice.

And once you use it, if you have an idea for making it better or simply want to provide context of how it helped your team, please get in touch with me. It’s a living document that I hope will continue to be a useful and realistic tool that technologists can use in their day-to-day work.

If you’re working on a product specifically for a vulnerable group or survivors of some form of trauma, such as an app for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, or drug addiction, be sure to read Chapter 7, which covers that situation explicitly and should be handled a bit differently. The guidelines here are for prioritizing safety when designing a more general product that will have a wide user base (which, we already know from statistics, will include certain groups that should be protected from harm). Chapter 7 is focused on products that are specifically for vulnerable groups and people who have experienced trauma.

Step 1: Conduct research

Design research should include a broad analysis of how your tech might be weaponized for abuse as well as specific insights into the experiences of survivors and perpetrators of that type of abuse. At this stage, you and your team will investigate issues of interpersonal harm and abuse, and explore any other safety, security, or inclusivity issues that might be a concern for your product or service, like data security, racist algorithms, and harassment.

Broad research

Your project should begin with broad, general research into similar products and issues around safety and ethical concerns that have already been reported. For example, a team building a smart home device would do well to understand the multitude of ways that existing smart home devices have been used as tools of abuse. If your product will involve AI, seek to understand the potentials for racism and other issues that have been reported in existing AI products. Nearly all types of technology have some kind of potential or actual harm that’s been reported on in the news or written about by academics. Google Scholar is a useful tool for finding these studies.

Specific research: Survivors

When possible and appropriate, include direct research (surveys and interviews) with people who are experts in the forms of harm you have uncovered. Ideally, you’ll want to interview advocates working in the space of your research first so that you have a more solid understanding of the topic and are better equipped to not retraumatize survivors. If you’ve uncovered possible domestic violence issues, for example, the experts you’ll want to speak with are survivors themselves, as well as workers at domestic violence hotlines, shelters, other related nonprofits, and lawyers.

Especially when interviewing survivors of any kind of trauma, it is important to pay people for their knowledge and lived experiences. Don’t ask survivors to share their trauma for free, as this is exploitative. While some survivors may not want to be paid, you should always make the offer in the initial ask. An alternative to payment is to donate to an organization working against the type of violence that the interviewee experienced. We’ll talk more about how to appropriately interview survivors in Chapter 6.

Specific research: Abusers

It’s unlikely that teams aiming to design for safety will be able to interview self-proclaimed abusers or people who have broken laws around things like hacking. Don’t make this a goal; rather, try to get at this angle in your general research. Aim to understand how abusers or bad actors weaponize technology to use against others, how they cover their tracks, and how they explain or rationalize the abuse.

Step 2: Create archetypes

Once you’ve finished conducting your research, use your insights to create abuser and survivor archetypes. Archetypes are not personas, as they’re not based on real people that you interviewed and surveyed. Instead, they’re based on your research into likely safety issues, much like when we design for accessibility: we don’t need to have found a group of blind or low-vision users in our interview pool to create a design that’s inclusive of them. Instead, we base those designs on existing research into what this group needs. Personas typically represent real users and include many details, while archetypes are broader and can be more generalized.

The abuser archetype is someone who will look at the product as a tool to perform harm (Fig 5.2). They may be trying to harm someone they don’t know through surveillance or anonymous harassment, or they may be trying to control, monitor, abuse, or torment someone they know personally.

Fig 5.2: Harry Oleson, an abuser archetype for a fitness product, is looking for ways to stalk his ex-girlfriend through the fitness apps she uses.

The survivor archetype is someone who is being abused with the product. There are various situations to consider in terms of the archetype’s understanding of the abuse and how to put an end to it: Do they need proof of abuse they already suspect is happening, or are they unaware they’ve been targeted in the first place and need to be alerted (Fig 5.3)?

Fig 5.3: The survivor archetype Lisa Zwaan suspects her husband is weaponizing their home’s IoT devices against her, but in the face of his insistence that she simply doesn’t understand how to use the products, she’s unsure. She needs some kind of proof of the abuse.

You may want to make multiple survivor archetypes to capture a range of different experiences. They may know that the abuse is happening but not be able to stop it, like when an abuser locks them out of IoT devices; or they know it’s happening but don’t know how, such as when a stalker keeps figuring out their location (Fig 5.4). Include as many of these scenarios as you need to in your survivor archetype. You’ll use these later on when you design solutions to help your survivor archetypes achieve their goals of preventing and ending abuse.

Fig 5.4: The survivor archetype Eric Mitchell knows he’s being stalked by his ex-boyfriend Rob but can’t figure out how Rob is learning his location information.

It may be useful for you to create persona-like artifacts for your archetypes, such as the three examples shown. Instead of focusing on the demographic information we often see in personas, focus on their goals. The goals of the abuser will be to carry out the specific abuse you’ve identified, while the goals of the survivor will be to prevent abuse, understand that abuse is happening, make ongoing abuse stop, or regain control over the technology that’s being used for abuse. Later, you’ll brainstorm how to prevent the abuser’s goals and assist the survivor’s goals.

And while the “abuser/survivor” model fits most cases, it doesn’t fit all, so modify it as you need to. For example, if you uncovered an issue with security, such as the ability for someone to hack into a home camera system and talk to children, the malicious hacker would get the abuser archetype and the child’s parents would get survivor archetype.

Step 3: Brainstorm problems

After creating archetypes, brainstorm novel abuse cases and safety issues. “Novel” means things not found in your research; you’re trying to identify completely new safety issues that are unique to your product or service. The goal with this step is to exhaust every effort of identifying harms your product could cause. You aren’t worrying about how to prevent the harm yet—that comes in the next step.

How could your product be used for any kind of abuse, outside of what you’ve already identified in your research? I recommend setting aside at least a few hours with your team for this process.

If you’re looking for somewhere to start, try doing a Black Mirror brainstorm. This exercise is based on the show Black Mirror, which features stories about the dark possibilities of technology. Try to figure out how your product would be used in an episode of the show—the most wild, awful, out-of-control ways it could be used for harm. When I’ve led Black Mirror brainstorms, participants usually end up having a good deal of fun (which I think is great—it’s okay to have fun when designing for safety!). I recommend time-boxing a Black Mirror brainstorm to half an hour, and then dialing it back and using the rest of the time thinking of more realistic forms of harm.

After you’ve identified as many opportunities for abuse as possible, you may still not feel confident that you’ve uncovered every potential form of harm. A healthy amount of anxiety is normal when you’re doing this kind of work. It’s common for teams designing for safety to worry, “Have we really identified every possible harm? What if we’ve missed something?” If you’ve spent at least four hours coming up with ways your product could be used for harm and have run out of ideas, go to the next step.

It’s impossible to guarantee you’ve thought of everything; instead of aiming for 100 percent assurance, recognize that you’ve taken this time and have done the best you can, and commit to continuing to prioritize safety in the future. Once your product is released, your users may identify new issues that you missed; aim to receive that feedback graciously and course-correct quickly.

Step 4: Design solutions

At this point, you should have a list of ways your product can be used for harm as well as survivor and abuser archetypes describing opposing user goals. The next step is to identify ways to design against the identified abuser’s goals and to support the survivor’s goals. This step is a good one to insert alongside existing parts of your design process where you’re proposing solutions for the various problems your research uncovered.

Some questions to ask yourself to help prevent harm and support your archetypes include:

Can you design your product in such a way that the identified harm cannot happen in the first place? If not, what roadblocks can you put up to prevent the harm from happening?

How can you make the victim aware that abuse is happening through your product?

How can you help the victim understand what they need to do to make the problem stop?

Can you identify any types of user activity that would indicate some form of harm or abuse? Could your product help the user access support?

In some products, it’s possible to proactively recognize that harm is happening. For example, a pregnancy app might be modified to allow the user to report that they were the victim of an assault, which could trigger an offer to receive resources for local and national organizations. This sort of proactiveness is not always possible, but it’s worth taking a half hour to discuss if any type of user activity would indicate some form of harm or abuse, and how your product could assist the user in receiving help in a safe manner.

That said, use caution: you don’t want to do anything that could put a user in harm’s way if their devices are being monitored. If you do offer some kind of proactive help, always make it voluntary, and think through other safety issues, such as the need to keep the user in-app in case an abuser is checking their search history. We’ll walk through a good example of this in the next chapter.

Step 5: Test for safety

The final step is to test your prototypes from the point of view of your archetypes: the person who wants to weaponize the product for harm and the victim of the harm who needs to regain control over the technology. Just like any other kind of product testing, at this point you’ll aim to rigorously test out your safety solutions so that you can identify gaps and correct them, validate that your designs will help keep your users safe, and feel more confident releasing your product into the world.

Ideally, safety testing happens along with usability testing. If you’re at a company that doesn’t do usability testing, you might be able to use safety testing to cleverly perform both; a user who goes through your design attempting to weaponize the product against someone else can also be encouraged to point out interactions or other elements of the design that don’t make sense to them.

You’ll want to conduct safety testing on either your final prototype or the actual product if it’s already been released. There’s nothing wrong with testing an existing product that wasn’t designed with safety goals in mind from the onset—“retrofitting” it for safety is a good thing to do.

Remember that testing for safety involves testing from the perspective of both an abuser and a survivor, though it may not make sense for you to do both. Alternatively, if you made multiple survivor archetypes to capture multiple scenarios, you’ll want to test from the perspective of each one.

As with other sorts of usability testing, you as the designer are most likely too close to the product and its design by this point to be a valuable tester; you know the product too well. Instead of doing it yourself, set up testing as you would with other usability testing: find someone who is not familiar with the product and its design, set the scene, give them a task, encourage them to think out loud, and observe how they attempt to complete it.

Abuser testing

The goal of this testing is to understand how easy it is for someone to weaponize your product for harm. Unlike with usability testing, you want to make it impossible, or at least difficult, for them to achieve their goal. Reference the goals in the abuser archetype you created earlier, and use your product in an attempt to achieve them.

For example, for a fitness app with GPS-enabled location features, we can imagine that the abuser archetype would have the goal of figuring out where his ex-girlfriend now lives. With this goal in mind, you’d try everything possible to figure out the location of another user who has their privacy settings enabled. You might try to see her running routes, view any available information on her profile, view anything available about her location (which she has set to private), and investigate the profiles of any other users somehow connected with her account, such as her followers.

If by the end of this you’ve managed to uncover some of her location data, despite her having set her profile to private, you know now that your product enables stalking. Your next step is to go back to step 4 and figure out how to prevent this from happening. You may need to repeat the process of designing solutions and testing them more than once.

Survivor testing

Survivor testing involves identifying how to give information and power to the survivor. It might not always make sense based on the product or context. Thwarting the attempt of an abuser archetype to stalk someone also satisfies the goal of the survivor archetype to not be stalked, so separate testing wouldn’t be needed from the survivor’s perspective.

However, there are cases where it makes sense. For example, for a smart thermostat, a survivor archetype’s goals would be to understand who or what is making the temperature change when they aren’t doing it themselves. You could test this by looking for the thermostat’s history log and checking for usernames, actions, and times; if you couldn’t find that information, you would have more work to do in step 4.

Another goal might be regaining control of the thermostat once the survivor realizes the abuser is remotely changing its settings. Your test would involve attempting to figure out how to do this: are there instructions that explain how to remove another user and change the password, and are they easy to find? This might again reveal that more work is needed to make it clear to the user how they can regain control of the device or account.

Stress testing

To make your product more inclusive and compassionate, consider adding stress testing. This concept comes from Design for Real Life by Eric Meyer and Sara Wachter-Boettcher. The authors pointed out that personas typically center people who are having a good day—but real users are often anxious, stressed out, having a bad day, or even experiencing tragedy. These are called “stress cases,” and testing your products for users in stress-case situations can help you identify places where your design lacks compassion. Design for Real Life has more details about what it looks like to incorporate stress cases into your design as well as many other great tactics for compassionate design.

Design for Safety, An Excerpt published first on https://deskbysnafu.tumblr.com/