#i could probably use only my phone to make a better background in less than 30 minutes

[scrumptiousobjectcollector]

There's an article by a website called Fast Company that goes more into Mattel's usage of A.I in their products

Yeaaaa nty. At that point they should just use a plain background then if they don't want to go through the workload of creating a captivating and immersive background. Or stop trying to push so many dolls.

Idk if the article has a typo but to claim that people won't notice the ai... obviously a lie because people have noticed.

[hughesyodaddy43]

Pizza solves everything ⎸ L.H

pairings: bf! Luke x fem!reader. Platonic!Ethan Edwards and Mark Estapa x reader Genre: fluff warnings: angst?,mentions of cheating, stressed reader, exam season synopsis: Lukes girlfriend gets worked up over finals. Ethan and Mark attempt to make her feel better. requested?: yes word count: 3.1k authors note: I am not from America so i don't know how exams and schooling work over there, i hope this still makes sense. i gave reader a nickname, 'missy' and will probably use that name for future Luke fics.

You groan as you type on your computer, sitting at your desk with mindless tv playing in the background. You currently live in a tiny apartment with your best friend, Ethan. It's a two bedroom and can only really house two people before feeling cramped. However it is right next to Umich and is far more convenient than living in the dorms. 

You only started living with Ethan last year, after your previous roommate moved out and you needed someone to share utilities with. Seeming as though Luke was leaving for New Jersey and Ethan never left your house anyway - it seemed only logical that he started paying rent.

Having a boyfriend in the NHL is both a blessing and a curse, the blessing being the fact that your hot boyfriend is in the NHL and the curse being that everyone else thinks he is hot too. 

You never were the jealous type, or at least not before you saw all the girls that crowded Luke when he went to parties. Something in you cringed when you saw how awkward he got when denying girls, it was common that you'd have to step in otherwise that man would have just stood there like a statue the entire encounter. It wasn't like he would ever cheat on you, you were confident that he wouldn't. However when your hair is fitted to a much darker shade then the girls he interacts with, it's hard to not think about him wanting a more ‘conventional’ Hockey Girlfriend. 

Luke is always first to tell you he doesn't care about that stuff and you believe him, but when you haven't called him in days, sometimes weeks, it gets less easy to control the unsettling feelings.

Everytime you call with Luke, it's always cut short, whether it’s Ethan banging on your door at 11 o’clock  for a ‘late night snack’ or Jack barging in to argue with Luke about something, you never get to talk about what you're really feeling. 

Because of the distance and lack of communication, the relationship has been a bit strained, it's not like you could tell if luke felt the same since he's too busy sleeping or playing hockey to communicate that with you. You were so proud of Luke, no doubt about it, however something in you boiled when he only ever mentioned hockey during the ten minute phone calls.

Since the last phone call you had with him, you've only really exchanged small text messages every couple hours. It was upsetting that you couldn't talk to your boyfriend about everything going on but it was also a nice way to get away so you can finish up and focus on all the upcoming exams.

You had your next one tomorrow and really needed to knuckle down and get studying for it. You've managed to get what you needed done for tonight so you thought you'd call Luke for a final call before bed.

After wriggling comfortably against your pillows, you lean against your head board. bringing your phone up close to your ear, you press the dial on luke's contact  listening closely to the ringing sound on the other end.

Ring 

Ring 

Ring 

Your breath hitches as you hear Lukes voice on the other end, only this time it was his voicemail. You take one last deep breath before shutting your phone off and sinking into your pillows. 

Your phone vibrates on your nightstand and you view a message from your best friend and biggest hater, Ethan.

House rat: the team got too much pizza, if you're still up I can bring you some?

House rat : Silence speaks volumes missy 

Pissy missy : no. i'm just asleep

Pissy missy : You're disturbing my slumber 

House rat: oh well pizza is good for your soul. Mark is coming too ;)

Pissy missy: Fuck.

You sigh and put your phone back down, wiping your eyes, you sit up against the headboard once again and pull your computer onto your lap, Resuming your place in your essay.

“MISSY  COME HERE GIRL” Ethan calls out from the front door, walking towards your room in long strides. He bursts through the door with a box of pizza in his hand and makes his way to sit at the end of your bed, Mark slowly entering behind him. Mark moves to sit further on the bed, next to Ethan, pulling out a piece of pizza from the box.

“How are you?” Mark asks as he stuffs his face with the crust.

You sigh, reaching to rip a piece of pizza from the rest, bringing it up close to your lips

“Been okay, I guess” you take a bite, avoiding eye contact with the two boys in front of you “are you sure? You've seemed a bit distant'' Mark asks “im fine.” you say, taking another big bite of the saucy crust “are you sur-” “I'm fine so quit asking” you yell, adding an edge of venom to your words. Taking the boys by surprise “wow, someones a bit extra pissy tonight” Ethan adds. 

That's when something in your throat tightens, you feel yourself bubbling over. You don't understand why, your whole nickname stems from the fact that you get pissy from time to time but it feels like that was the last straw.

Tears begin filling your eyes, vision goes blurry as you feel your cheeks burn up. Sniffles are heard as the boys go silent before you. Tears drip onto the final bite of your pizza.

“Im-sorry-i-just-so-stressed-and-upset-and-luke-hasnt-been-talking-to-me-and-i-miss-him-and-i-think-hes-gonna-breakup-with-me-and-im-just-so-sad-and-i-dont-mean-to-be-mean-but-im-just-so-angry” you hurry through muffled sobs as your eyes go red and your sinuses block up.

“Woah hey hey, Missy i didn't mean to make you upset.” Ethan says , leaning forward to meet your eyes

“Yeah, talk to us..but a bit slower please” Mark says softly, careful to not make you cry again.

You take a deep breath, lifting your head up to see the two young hockey boys worried faces, your lip quivers slightly as you breathe in and out, ready to spill out what has been hurting you.

“I don't know, I'm just so stressed with these exams and I think I'm gonna do fine but I'm just scared.” you start, trying to get one problem out at a time 

“I know for a fact that you'll do fine in your exams and assignments” Ethan comforts “yeah! you're like the smartest person i know!” Mark chimes

“Thanks.. It's not just that tho” you say, sniffling a bit as tears continue down your face and onto your swollen lips, the taste of salt sinks into your mouth. The Hockey players stay silent, waiting patiently for you to continue. 

“Luke and I haven't really been talking and I think he wants to break up.”

 The boys share a knowing glance but say nothing. 

“And you know i've seen all the girls jack brings home, the pretty blonde girls i mean what if luke met one of them and they fell in love” you say, growing more and more hysterical as each thought processes through your head.

Logically you new Luke would never cheat but with your emotions running high you couldnt help but think that  Luke had fucked the entire female poplutation of new jersey ranging from 18-25 by now.

“And all he every talks about when we do call is stupid fucking hockey” you rise your voice slightly before looking at the boys 

“no offence” you add, placing your hands in your lap and finishing your pizza

 “ he didn't even answer my call tonight” you finish, the last sentence being muffled as you swallow your food. 

To your surprise the boys stay silent and stare at each other with Ethan looking down at his phone then back up at mark then sharing a look back to you.

“OMG SO HE IS GONNA BREAK UP WITH ME” you scream, tears streaming down your face harder 

“WHAT NO NO NO” the boys choir, eyes wide.

“Then why are you looking at eachother like that? And who the fuck are you messaging at 12o’clock at night???” you yell pointing towards ethan. 

“No-no one” ethan adds, throwing his phone away to the end of the bed.

Mark moves to sit next to you, throwing an awkward arm around you in a comforting embrace 

“missy, he's probably not gonna break up with you'' Mark adds 

“PROBABLY??” you cry 

“NONO he means he is NOT going to break up with you” Ethan interjects, throwing a pointed look at Mark “oh yeah sorry that's what i meant” Mark stuttered

You groan loudly as your head flys back onto your pillows, you bury yourself into your blanket

“Okayyy so you're tired so we're gonna get outta here” Ethan says, dragging the pizza off your bed with Mark sliding off behind him.

“Good night, Missy'' Mark says, patting your head, peeking out slightly 

“Good night!!” Ethan yells from the kitchen with a mouthful of pizza.

X

X

You wake up to the blaring sound of your alarm, you look at your phone that reads ‘7 am’ and still you have no response from Luke. You sigh and remove yourself from your bed, making your way towards the shared bathroom you have with Ethan. 

You walk down the hall and pass Mark who is sleeping soundly on the couch, you continue walking and stop by  Ethan's room, you peer in to see him sprawled out on his bed, keeping note that you should keep quiet as you get ready so you don't wake the two up prematurely.

You take time in your shower to clear your mind, enjoying the warm hug as the water runs down your back and soothes your sore neck. You recite in your head that everything will be okay and to just focus on your exam first, then worry about whatever bullshit Luke is pulling.you finish your shower and get dressed in warm attire. You pair your favourite long sleeve shirt with your fav baggy sweats and continue on with your hair and makeup. Finishing up, you leave the bathroom and are met with the inviting smell of fresh breakfast.

Walking down the hallway you are met with Mark and Ethan who have both woken up and are now stuffing their faces with every breakfast food you own.

“Good morning” you say, giggling slightly 

“Morning” Mark says, eyes still drawn to the tv 

“Heyy, do you want a bagel?” Ethan asks, walking over towards you “you're gonna need some brain food” he adds 

“Maybe not, i'm too nervous to eat right now” you say

“Hmm, are you sure? What about I make you one for later?” he asks

“Maybe next time” you say as you turn on your heels back to your room, rummaging through your cupboard you find a comfy hoodie to throw over your body to keep you warm and toasty throughout your exam. You pack up your bag and walk back out into the kitchen. You then return back to your room, retrieving your charging phone. 

“Missy, do you need a ride?” Ethan asks 

“Nah, the walk will be nice for me, good way to clear my head” you add, walking back out of your room. 

You grab your bag and sling it over your shoulders 

“Thank you by the way, for last night” you add looking back towards Ethan and Mark 

“No problemo, i'm sure you'll feel better soon” Mark says, turning his head to give you a cheeky wink 

You giggle a bit as You look back at ethan confusion still evident in your face 

“Don't listen to him, he's weird” Ethan adds as he walks towards you to give you a pat on the back “you'll do great” 

“Thank you” you say as you move out the door and towards school.

X

X

The timer blares through the room as everyone stands , making their way towards the teachers desk to send off their papers. You sit there for a minute, staring down at your paper, revising everything you wrote down. The girl beside you nudges you out of your trance as she waits for you to stand up and hand you paper i with her. All you can do is quietly walk your way down the daring stares that lead to the front of the class. You hand in your work with a deep breath and make your way back to your previous seat, ready to go home and eat your feelings. 

“How do you think you went?” the girl beside you asks as you both walk out of the room,

“Um i think i did okay, passable i hope” you responde 

“I'm sure you did great, you wrote a lot more than i did”

“Hmm how do you think you went?” you ask 

“Good.. i hope”

“You did good, i know it”

“Thanks, missy. I was gonna ask before but how's everything going with Luke? Are you gonna see him soon?” she asks

“Maybe, idk. We haven't been talking too much recently”

“Aww thats a shame well i hope all goes well”

“Yeah, thanks”

“Bye missy” she exits the conversation, making her way over to her next class 

“Bye” you add, thankful that this was the only class you had scheduled for the day.

The walk home was calming , the cold breeze blowing on your face created a refreshing cooling to your hot body as you walked through the campus, passing a couple friends and saying hi briefly before separating.

You make your way to your apartment, trudging up the stairs in a final burst of energy. Unlocking the door you walk into your heated apartment, looking down as you remove your bag, take off your hoodie and hang your keys up, not making note of the tall figure sitting on the bar stools next to your kitchen. 

You turn around and are met with Luke - your boyfriend. The man who you love. The man who's been ignoring you. 

“Hey baby” he says, standing up to walk towards you

You take a step back, anger and confusion plastered on your face 

“Well at least you have the courtesy to do it in person” you say, crossing your arms over your body, sliding your sleeves over your knuckles.

Luke looms over at you, he stares in confusion, trying to read your emotions.

“What are you talking about?” 

Your gaze leaves the floor and meets his, anger bubbling inside your stomach 

“You wanna break up?” you say bluntly, mono toned and unnatural 

“What?? No ??Why would you think that?” Luke argues, voice becoming higher and his breath itching slightly at the information that his girlfriend thinks he drove 9 and a half hours just  to break up with her.

“Are you serious? No call? no text? no nothing, not even a stupid instagram reel and you think my mind wouldn’t wander to that?” you say, stepping forward at each word, announcing your words with a spit of fury.

“I did call and I did text” Luke defends, hands slapping against his sides.

“Barely, Luke we only called for ten minutes a week and all you talked about was stupid hockey and I love hockey but that's all you would talk about. And not to mention the dry messages I mean we barely even talked like normal people, just robots with no love for each other.” you rant on, eyes feeling heavy as tears glistened in your sockets, afraid to let them fall you do your best to blink them away before luke notices.

“Missy” Luke whispers, snaking his hands to your forearms 

“I was only trying to give you space, I knew you would get stressed with your upcoming finals so I wanted to give you as much time as you needed to study. I didn't mean to be dry and unloving towards you” his voice was soothing and calm, his fingers brushing lightly on your clothed arms.

“Well it was a dumb decision” you grumble, earning a snicker from luke 

“yeah , it was and I'm sorry.” he agrees 

“So why are you here then? If you aren't gonna break up with me?”

“I was planning to come down after your finals were finished, I was originally driving in tomorrow but Ethan messaged me last night telling me to come early” 

“Oh. so that's why they were acting weird” you say, reciting the events of last night in your head.

“Yeah, Do you know why he said that?” 

“Well i was a bit emotional last night, i was crying while stuffing my face with pizza” you laugh looking back up at luke.

“Oh my, so is that why Ethan sent me 43  messages at midnight?” Luke adds, smiling to himself before pulling up his phone to show you the absurdly concerning amount of texts from the boy.

“I'll take it that Ethan and Mark were not very good at comforting you?” he says, sitting back down on the bar stool and pulling you to stand in between his legs 

“They weren't too bad , maybe not the best tho” you say, giggling slightly at the situation 

Silence fills the room for a bit before luke speaks up 

“I'm sorry I caused you so much stress, I love you and I wouldn't trade you for the world. Maybe I should try and talk to you more and not just about hockey, hm?” he speaks, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear 

“Yes please” you smile before leaning in to give him a deep kiss. You both pull away before going back in for a warm and comforting hug, swaying slightly.

“I don't know about you but i'm starving, do you wanna go get some food?” Luke asks, speaking into the crook of your neck 

“mhm, exams make me hungry and that breakfast bar Ethan snuck into my bag wasn't very filling” you add, moving so you can look at Luke once more, placing a delicate kiss on his lips 

“About Ethan, should I talk to him about how pizza doesn't solve every problem?” 

You giggle at his comment, staring softly into his muddy blue eyes before being interrupted by Ethan opening his door 

“PIZZA SOLVES EVERYTHING” he shouts just before slamming his bedroom door closed.

“He's been home this whole time?” I ask Luke 

“Who do you think let me in?” Luke chimes, smirking down at you.

wriggling out of his arms its not long till you're pulled back by a  gentle hand on your wrist 

“Wait, I  gotta ask how your exam went” Luke asks, hands sneaking around my waist and resting on my lower back.

“It went okay, i didn't give up so that's good” i say, shrugging.

“Mhm good, never give up” he says, finishing his comment by  patting my head.

Silence is left between us once again, eyes frowning as he tries to read my expression 

“I missed you, Lukey. Don't pull that shit again”

“I missed you too, and judging by how angry you were when you came home i definitely won't” he says as we both make our way out the door and down the stairs.

[joyboygojo]

good things come to those who wait

ABOUT — Saturo would be more then happy to give into your desperate pleas for attention. After all he hates to deny you, but Shoko has other ideas for the evening. Including making sure you’re nice and needy when you finally return home from the party.

INCLUDES — mdni. mommy / daddy themes, pet names, edging, spanking, oral (giving), sex, mentions of cum, begging, fingering

NOTES — Hey! This is my first time posting a fic. Feedback is always welcome, but be kind.

You’re lounging on the couch, book propped against your stomach, bored out of your mind. You reach over and grab your phone, checking the time, and groaning when you see you still have a couple of hours left to go until your partners are home.

You sigh, and try to get back into your book, but when you check your phone again only mere minutes have gone by. With defeat your impulses get the better of you, and you ring your boyfriend.

If he’s on a mission he’ll let it go through, and you grin when he picks up on the second ring. “Hey,” he greets, “why are you calling?”

You huff, “I’m bored ‘toru.” You complain. The deep vibrations of his laugh are almost felt through the phone. “Can’t you and Shoko come home early?”

“Too busy here unfortunately, mission gone wrong, Shoko’s healing everybody up.” He says.

“Everyone okay?” You ask. As much as your need for attention was pressing, you cared for the kids your boyfriend more or less calls his own.

“Yeah, just a few wounds. Nothings serious.” There’s silence. “Why don’t you go entertain that pretty little head of yours with my card sweetheart. Get out of the house.”

“I want you though.” He laughs again as he can hear the desperation that seeps into your voice. “Can’t you play with me a little?”

You know you shouldn’t. You all have some dinner with the higher ups to go to later and your girlfriend said the only way you were going to enjoy the night is if you refrained from playing with yourself while they were at work.

Of course this was received with irritation since they had left you high and dry for a couple of days now. You needed more than kisses and lingering touches. But they were hell bent on teasing you. Sho had all but worked up you up and left you hanging before she went to work today. And you could still feel the throb of an incomplete orgasm sitting in your belly and you constantly shifted in the hopes of relief.

You want to be good, you really do, but the throbbing has become unbearable. “You want daddy to play with you mhm?” He says, tone slipping deeper than before. “And how do you want me to play with you doll?”

“Wanna use my fingers while you listen to me please-”

“Is that (y/n)?” Your girlfriend‘a voice can be heard in the background. You groan in defeat and remove your wandering fingers. You know she can’t see you through the phone, although Satoru probably can, but you don’t want to give her a reason to punish you anyways.

“Yup, she’s bored.” You hear a scoff and the passing of his phone.

“Bored mhm?” Your girlfriend teases.

“Please don’t make me wait.” You plea. “We can just skip dinner.” You can hear your boyfriend hum in agreement. You know that he’s easy to convince, you only need to suggest it and he’ll cancel going. Shoko doesn’t really like going either, but she usually requires more convincing. “I can make you dinner, we can stay in and I can—”

“We have to go this time.” She says breezily, and you pout in response. Fingers slowly playing with the waistband of your shorts as she speaks. Restless energy slowly returning as you stare up at the clock. “I wanted to tell you to go pick up our outfits from the dry cleaners.” You nod absentmindedly. “Behave and we’ll entertain you later. It’s only a few more hours.”

You huff as she hangs up, and decide to try your best to distract yourself in the meantime.

You managed to have some restraint while getting your outfits and shopping as suggested. You did your best to take your mind off the way your clit throbbed at the mere thought of tonight. All your efforts though go out the window when you see them dressed up and ready to go.

Saturo is a deep black suit, arguably your favorite by the way the slacks show of his toned thighs and his rather large - you avert your gaze. You can see his shit eating grin though as he catches you staring. Shoko is not much better, and the way her thighs show through the slit in her dress makes you envision her thighs around you in a different way. You rub your thighs together in the hope of quelling the growing need you feel.

“Good choice in dress,” Satoru says when he sees you, and your girlfriend hums in agreement. You go to her, wrap your arms around her waist and lean up to kiss her.

“Please Sho let’s cancel.” You plea, and push against her. She chuckles, and kisses your nose, before giving your ass a tap.

“We’ll go, stand around for an hour and leave.” She says easily, and with that you all set out. On a good day you tolerate these parties, on a bad day you loathe them. Tonight is a loathe kind of night as you do your best to focus on the maroon coloured walls to distract yourself. It doesn’t help your efforts that your girlfriend has other ideas.

Gojo is off speaking to some of the higher ups, when you feel her hand rest on your ass. “You look gorgeous sweetheart.” She squeezes, and you startle in surprise.

“We’re in public.” You complain.

“I bet if I checked under the tight dress you’re absolutely soaked.” You clench you jaw and she laughs. “I mean Saturo is in that suit you really like isn’t he.” Your eyes rake over him, and you try not to imagine what’s underneath it. “All he’d have to do is unzip his fly, and bend you over.”

You exhale shakily, squeezing your thighs together. “Please.” You let the slight whine in your voice be known.

“Please let him bend you over right here and have his way with you while I and all the other higher ups watch.” You feel your face get hot at the thought. Her hands squeeze again, and you try to move away, but she wraps her arm around your waist.

She knows your move, of course she does, you’ll head straight over to your boyfriend and beg him to leave and he’ll oblige. She’s seen the way his eyes linger to yours hungry and tried.

“Nuh uh.” She tuts at your feeble attempt. “How long has it been since we showed you any attention hm?”

“Two days and seven hours.” You tell her, and she breathes a laugh right near your ear.

“Is that so?” You give her a look. “Come on baby, that’s no so long is it?” You don’t answer. “Or are you just that needy?”

You turn into her. “Please.” You beg.

“Please what?”

“Take me home and give me some attention.” You plea. You stare up at her brown eyes, to see as per usual that they’re twinkling with mischief.

“What if I like you needy though?” She moves you in front of her. Arms around your waist. You’re keenly aware of everyone around you, though luckily no one much pays you two any attention. Her lips hover near your ear. “I know ‘toru likes you needy.” You whimper at the mention. “Know that we’re going to get home and he’s going to make you beg for his cock like the needy little thing you are.” You see your boyfriend’s lips turn up in a smirk and you know he’s listening. “He’s not even going to have to work you up now is he?”

“No Sho.” You breathe and push back against her.

“So needy.” She teases.

“Please ‘toru take me home.” You plea, and your girlfriend this time lets you. “Please take me home, I need you to stuff me full.” He says something abruptly to the person he’s speaking to and turns. You whine in relief when he comes to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and kissing your forehead.

“Let’s head home.” You’re situated between them on the way home, and they take the opportunity to rub both of their thumbs across your thighs. You don’t care when your legs part for them, and they chuckle.

“Little slut is needy.” Saturo says, and you nod your head frantically. Once upstairs your dress doesn’t last, once in the bedroom, he’s pushing it up around your waist and spanking your folds. You let out a soft cry, and push yourself back against him. “So wet.”

“All for you.” You say as he runs his fingers along you. You hear your girlfriend in the bathroom, probably getting undressed, and if your mind weren’t so fuzzy already you’d snap at her to hurry up.

You press against the crotch of his pants, babble when you feel him hard against the satin fabric, and grind. “You don’t even need me-“

“No!” You interject and he smirks. “Need you, need you so bad.” Shoko comes out, and her eyes drink in the sight of you. She likes you just like this, desperate and eager to please the both of them.

She lays down in front of you, legs open, and she doesn’t even need to ask you. You instantly begin to eat her out. Her fingers tangling in your hair as you do, pushing you against her further. “So good for us.” She murmurs, and you suck her clit harshly in response.

If you weren’t so focused on the task of eating your girlfriend out you may have noticed her nod to your boyfriend, who finally sinks his cock into your desperate folds. You moan out at the feeling of being stretched. Even with how wet you are he’s still thick enough that it burns slightly.

He bottoms out almost instantly, and you hear him moan. Your pace slows for a moment, to distracted by your own pleasure, but a hard spank to your ass makes you whine and get back to pleasing your girlfriend.

“Daddy’s gonna take it real slow okay baby, and when you make mommy come then we’ll talk.” You double down on your efforts, trying with each movement to gain a bit more friction from Saturo, but he purposefully denies it.

Her fingers lace in your hair tighter, as you can feel her walls clench around your tongue. She comes on your face, and you do your best to clean her up. Gojo rewards you with a harsher thrust that makes you cry out, his speed picking up. “Come on doll give mommy another one you can do it.” His nimble fingers reach around and pinch your clit.

“Please faster.” You beg, you feel almost there, but Gojo’s pace keeps you right on the edge of your orgasm. He pulls out and you sob. “Please!”

You feel your girlfriend’s fingers grab your chin. “You’re our good little slut aren’t you?” You nod frantically. “And you’d do anything to make mommy and daddy feel good?” You nod, your lip quivering. “I know you can give me another one.” You nod, and she pulls you back into her, and only when you work to yank another orgasm out of her does Gojo sink back into you, pace quicker than before.

Your brain is fuzzy now, as the pressure in your lower belly builds. You feel her come again, and so desperate to please you continue. You can feel the way your boyfriends hips stutter as he gets closer himself. “Please can I come?” You beg. She watches your glassy eyes.

“My needy baby wants to come?” You nod. “Want ‘toru to come in you? Stuff that needy hole?”

“Please daddy.” You beg. Shoko pulls you into a kiss, and you feel both your orgasm and Saturo’s wash over you. He pulls out, and pushes his fingers in, helping you ride out your orgasm, as he fucks him cum back into you. You let you body go lax against your girlfriend, and she chuckles.

“See?” She teases. “Good things come to those who wait.” You huff as Saturo goes off to get you a glass of water and a cloth to clean you up with. “Next time maybe we’ll make you wait a week.”

“You wouldn’t last that long.” You whisper against her, eyelids getting heavy.

Saturo laughs. “She’s right.” He says as he climbs into bed. “She’s too cute to deny for that long.”

[tumblingxelian]

Chloeka Snippet:

Juleka had been in some degree of proximity to Chloe for several years. She had been the target of Chloe's romantic intentions for nearly a month and a half. & the beneficiary of her familiarly of the modelling world for about a week.

In all that time Juleka had never once seen Chloe wear a skirt; maybe a dress or gown in the background of formal events. But a skirt? Never.

Add in that it was a rather short skirt, and that Chloe was twirling in front of her and Juleka's mental 'Chloe folders' were growing rapidly.

"You like it?" Chloe asked, all too aware she'd managed to get Juleka staring, "I thought I'd try something a little different, add a little spice," she intoned, an attempt at a husky purr not quite landing because it was too catlike.

'Which frankly does not help!' a part of Juleka's mind screamed as another imposed monstrous Jaguar like alterations to Chloe's frame. 'Not helping at all.'

Fortunately, she had gotten used to Chloe's sheer energy and growing up with a brother who could sense your emotions left Juleka with a fairly good poker face.

Her long tails thrummed on the desk, as she made sure to meet Chloe's gaze, well aware that tended to make the blonde blush before answering.

"It looks good-"

"I'll say!" Kim cheered from across the isle.

Juleka leaned back to peak around Chloe to where the boy was none to subtly ogling Chloe's long legs, bedecked as they were in white stockings that cut off less than in inch before the hot pink skirt.

Chloe barely registered him, instead her hungry blue eyes looked over Juleka's reaction, and it was probably obvious from the rictus, barely restrained snarl that Juleka did not 'like' Kim staring.

"Chloe," Sabrina called, "There's a message from a Mr Helistat?"

Perking up, the blonde straightened her golden blazer and blew Juleka a kiss, "That'll be about your next shoot, wish me luck darling~" With that, Chloe pranced off, skirt swaying. Even hitching up a little as she leaned over her and Sabrina's desk, speaking into the phone.

Juleka heard Kim's seat scrape on the floor as he stood up to get a better view.

As if on instinct, Juleka found herself silently half turning in her seat. Never taking her eyes entirely off Chloe who greedily drank in the eyes she knew were on her. But even as Juleka watched, she slyly shoved Kim's chair out from under him.

Fortunately Max had his head in mobile and didn't notice.

Meaning when Chloe finished her call and took her seat, Kim tried to take his only for it to fly out from under him. Sending the athlete flopping to the floor and drawing all eyes to him at the shouting.

Juleka floated a hand over her mouth, one of the rings Chloe had given her for the shoot gleaming in the light as she murmured, "Oh, who did that?"

Her & Chloe's eyes met and the blonde was beaming and blushing and looked read to burst out laughing.

"Not funny Juleka, I could have broken my coccyx!"

The withering and all to insincere 'tragic' never quite left her lips, as Rose helpfully intervened.

"It can't have been Juleka, I was sitting here the whole time and so was Max and neither of us saw anything." She squeezed Juleka's hand and Juleka squeezed back.

Familiar warmness just a little too distant and not all encompassing enough to do more than make her senses tingle. As if her very essence was trying to lance out of her and leech some of that light but couldn't quite reach it. same.

"Mhm, maybe you shoved your chair back too far when you stood up?" Juleka offered with a shrug.

Kim pouted, evidently not convinced, but that was when Caline called out, "Anyone injured?"

Kim rubbed his rear but shook his head.

"Then we can assume it was an accident and maybe a good lesson on where to keep ones eyes focused."

"Yes Madame," They offered by wrote and all eyes turned to the front.

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

Spoiler-Free KEY Review

Alright. I finished KEY. I'm going to play it again with my sister and then probably do a more in depth review of it, but for now I've got a just-finished-it review, and we'll see how this one compares to my second review after a second playthrough.

Plot:

The plot wasn't too bad! A bit linear compared to other games but I did enjoy it. It wasn't as visual novel-y as MID but wasn't as interactive as some other games. But overall it was fun and entertaining!

Characters:

The characters were enjoyable. I liked having some characters there being only barely involved when others were SUPER involved, so we have a lot more range with suspects and suspicions. I definitely would have liked digging deeper into the characters, like in CUR and GTH and SAW and such. Although, I'll admit, in most of the other games we didn't get super deep backgrounds either. There weren't a lot of dialogue options, so maybe in the future we can get more dialogue and character deep dives! I want more substance!

The only part about the characters I actively didn't like was a certain character's hair (bro, that's some Assassin's Creed Caterina Sforza hair, Sims hair, idk but it wasn't good enough), and the random unimportant NPCs. The NPCs were a bit distracting and did take me out of the game if I paid too much attention to them, so that's my take on that. In the future, I want to random unimportant NPCs to be completely gone and I want to VEN sound design back. That was immersive without needing the actual people standing around.

Now the phone characters were almost useless, only there to push the plot forward with barely any fun shit. In the future, I NEED more interaction with them. Less texting, more actual conversations. And they don't even need to be strictly about the game, give me conversations like what we had with Savannah Woodham. Not just a phone call here or there for only the purpose of moving forward in the plot. I need weird phone calls where they're like "hello! what do you want!" and the only dialogue option is "bye!" so then you hang up. I also want to actually be able to call them, because if there isn't a plot reason for it, you can't call them. So. Yeah. Oversight from the game devs.

Controls:

This game I feel was not designed with point and click in mind. I feel like it was added as a second option while favoring the "modern" controls of free roam stuff. However, I enjoyed the free roam! Maybe this is because I play a lot of other video games that aren't point and click, but I ended up really liking it. Other than that, the controls CAN be a bit clunky to get used to, but that happens with every video game with new controls you don't know yet (when I started playing Red Dead Redemption 2 I punched my horse so many times because I couldn't get used to the controls and I felt so bad). I think they could definitely work on it more, but it is WAY better than Midnight in Salem. Way WAY better.

Music:

While not as iconic at the Kevin Manthei tracks I am in love with, I did like the music! It was pretty good, with some tracks standing above the others. I will say though that the track that plays in the tech store is my least favorite as it just sounds... meh. In every sense of the word.

Puzzles and Minigames:

Oh my god. OH MY GOD. There are actually puzzles!!!! After all, what, two puzzles in Midnight in Salem, we actually get REAL PUZZLES! They have some new puzzles, some recycled puzzles (THAT I WANT MORE OF), some pretty puzzles, some clunky but fine puzzles, and just a good variety of them. They also offer hints if you are struggling.

I think my favorite puzzle is... Well, I don't want to spoil it, but there are a few contending for the top place. (Although fuck math, all my homies hate math.)

As for the minigames, the coffee making is fun, although a bit daunting with the instructions. I recommend making your own notes aside from the in-game recipe books. The latte art can be irritating but eventually you get the hang of it. Not quite as bad as the SAW calligraphy but nowhere near the delight I got from the SPY cookies minigame.

Glitches and Issues:

I did catch a few typos and a few glitches, but they weren't the norm. Just look at the HeR site for what to look out for, and make sure your PC can handle the game. I didn't need to look out for that since I'm currently playing Red Dead Redemption 2 and my laptop is running that fine (on low graphics lol). Way less messed up than MID, worse than some of the other games, but hey, it's not like we've never had bugs in the games before (there have been a few times the games have crashed on me because of bugs). And this time we have autosaves to help out with that.

Overall Impression:

It's a solid game. I thoroughly enjoyed it. While the UI and controls are still similar to MID, the game itself is a step in the right direction where I want the Nancy Drew games to go. It isn't perfect, I don't think we'll ever get a perfect Nancy Drew game, but it's good enough for me.

I'm happy with it. I got to have the joy of a new Nancy Drew game, which is something I haven't had since Midnight in Salem, and we know how that went. I got to find new clues, see new places, meet new characters, complete puzzles that were both new and recycled, and enjoy a new mystery. It brought a smile to my face multiple times and made me squeal in delight when I solved something. I haven't had a good new Nancy Drew game experience since I played SEA when it came out.

So I'm happy. Is it my favorite? No. But do I think it's bad? Also no. I think it's somewhere in the middle for me, but that's okay. These games make me happy, and I hope we get more so they can continue my happiness in the future.

Tentative rating: 7/10

[steampaul]

i've started a little series of weekly posts documenting every MoC i made (digitally) over the last few years:

Week 10: 2023

for the galaxy explorer, Some GWP ideas, the bricklink designer program,my gripes with an ideas set, being abandoned, some potted blocks, classic defender mini and a bit more Rock Raiders stuff

this is the last week.

i got the 10497 galaxy explorer as a christmas present in 2022 and i wanted to make a base for it. this is of course based on the printed baseplate that was included in the original 928 (or 497) galaxy explorer in 1979. its build atop a 50x50 baseplate.

my first idea of a possible GWP inspired by the trend of GWPs being remakes of older sets, like 40567 forest hideout, 40580 blacktron cruiser, 40601 majisto's magical workshop and 40581 tahu and takua was this MoC.

I chose 7708 Uplink from Exo-Force to base my GWP MoC on even though 7701 Grand titan was my first Exo-Force set (and the first one i got from shop@home), because it's a smaller set and thus more suited as a GWP (also i think that joker hair looks better in purple and would be more fitting as a modern version of the Exo-force rubber hairpieces for Ryo and less for takeshi imho)

the original Tumblr App-icon. but in lego.

i made this to be my current Phone background. the grey greebles are my lockscreen and the Ace flag is my homescreen, so that unlocking my phone imbues the background with colour.

this is my First MoC i posted on Tumblr at the same time i posted it on reddit.

i love 21340 tales from the space age, but i had a few gripes with the added fourth art piece and i felt the need to analyse why exactly i thought it wasn't as good as the others and how i would try to fix it.

Bricklink opened their designer Program to the public with series 1 in that year and i wanted to add something based on one of my favourite MoC ideas i ever had. the abandoned factory i posted back in week 2. i hd the idea of an old, abandoned industrial building that you could give walls using your (probably huge) collection of brick seperators. i cannot remember if i posted it anywhere or not. and why i didn't if i didn't.

yipieeee! it's Tbh, the autism creature. my first MoC iv'e only posted to tumblr.

oh god, this one. someone asked me to build them a MoC based on a house they wanted to buy on zillo. i made it for them, took a bit longer than i thought it would and even though i've been pretty transparent about this, they ghosted me.

oh well.

cheesy brick studios made a Video where he made some minecraft Potted plants inspired by 10329 tiny plants.

this then inspired me to make some bigger versions of (almost) all minecraft potted plants.

40650 creator land rover classic defender released that year and i wanted to make it look more like it's Icons counterpart (10317).

i think it looks nice. even though it is not on par with the 8 wide speed champions sets....

some More Rock raiders!!! this time in the style of another possible GWP, so no neon green or orange, sadly, because those colours were discontinued just as i finished building this MoC.

an who are these little guys?, you might ask. well they're also Rock Raiders MoCs, based on the a little one person Mining transport that i cannot find the reference i used. and i cannot remember what they're called.

this is it. the final week. i have no idea what to do to continue with my MoCs, maybe something yearly? making at least óne MoC every week? i dont know. but i know i'll make a master post sometime later this week where i'll link every one of these Ten weeks.

see ya!

first week last week

[mollymagician]

I actually finished the second chapter of my weird little street artist!Dream AU

I am so proud of myself. Like, so proud, guys.

*************************

A week passed. Slowly the sunflowers faded from the New Inn’s bricks, distorted and worn away by rain and curious fingers.

Hob had spent a good amount of time scrolling through the various social media accounts run by enthusiasts dedicated to cataloging Dream’s work and any bits of personal information that they could gather about the artist in question, which was: nothing. Zero.

Well, aside from one blogger who claimed to have seen a shadowy figure lurking around one of the murals at two in the morning and described them as…tall.

Yes, tall, Hob thought. Legs for days. And the hair’s got to add at least two inches.

Matthew was right, he had been out of touch lately, but this sort of thing wasn’t normally in his wheelhouse anyway. He appreciated art and what it meant to the world but he had enough personal artistic ability to fill the tip of his pinky finger. Literally. He’d broken the ice with more than one tough group of students by illustrating his lecture on the fly with horribly drawn graphs and chaotic stick figures. Still, he could recognize talent when he saw it.

He had a few favorites saved on his phone. On the side of a building just off Richmond Green, an expanse of blue and white, shot through with swirling figures in every earthy shade—children, it took Hob a moment to realize. Children running against a vibrant blue sky. Tucked just out of sight of the bustling crowds at the Tower of London was a flowing mass of sunset hues shot through with streaking dark figures that could only be ravens.

On the side of the old derelict White Horse Tavern, where Hob had spent a good chunk of his youth faffing about with his mates, a white figure leaping against emerald green, rampaging, like it had escaped it’s hill in Uffington and didn’t plan on being caught again.

The talent was obvious…but that wasn’t all it was. Hob remembered reading a line somewhere—it’s not what a horse looks like, it’s what a horse IS. It’s what they all were, these weird works of art, weren’t they? Things distilled down to the essence. Yes, the artwork was arresting. Yes, the man who made it was just as striking. But Hob couldn’t explain the feeling that there was something there beyond what he was seeing, like a magic eye painting with a third hidden layer, and just as frustrating.

Or maybe month and a half into his sabbatical from what he jokingly referred to as his ‘side hustle’ was long enough for his brain to be going a little stir-crazy.

Then one morning, it happened again.

“Woah,” Matthew said. “That sure is…something.”

They stood staring at the new mural spanning the Inn’s northern wall. Radiating tongues of yellow and orange emerging from a peculiar dark background. The wall was smooth here, and the image had less of the feel of stained-glass and instead was a tumult of swirling line and color.

“I can’t tell if this means you shouldn’t take any more flirting advice from me, or my flirting advice is 100% on point.”

Hob slanted him a look. “I didn’t take any flirting advice from you, if it makes you feel better,” he said.

“That’s probably your best bet, actually.”

“Even if I had, I don’t think he’d threaten to burn down the place because I used the worlds worst pickup line on him.” Hob stepped up to the wall, reaching up to trace the shape of the image carefully without touching the easily-smeared strokes. “Look, here. The way the light curves here…the mantle. It’s a—a hearth, a fireplace. Like the one back in the old White Horse. See?”

“Oh,” Matthew said. “Huh.”

This strange offering was on a side of the building hidden mostly from public view, between the glorified storage crate they called Dar’s Gardening Shed and a stacked pile of unused planters. He didn’t think there’d be any gawkers this time, Hob himself had only happened upon it that morning by chance. Of course, Dream seemed to favor out-of-the-way locations, were there were swaths of empty wall and not many observers around to interfere. But this felt different. This felt…personal.

As Matthew lifted his phone to snap a shot, Hob said, “Hey. Uh. Maybe don’t post this one.”

“What?” he squawked. “It’s free advertising, dude. Why not?” At Matthews perplexed look, Hob could only shrug.

He didn’t have to wait long for it to click “Oooohhh. I see.”

“Matt.”

“Aww.” Matthew followed him back around the front of the building and through the main entrance. For all he looked broad and soft-edged, once he latched his brain on something, he was relentless. It was like being pecked to death by ducks. Pecked to death by something, anyway. “Oh come on, man, it’s adorable.”

“Matthew, zip it.” Hob ducked past the bar, hoping he could make a quick exit into the kitchen. This wasn’t a conversation they could have out here, not if he wanted his dignity intact. Any moment now—

“Not that I’m not a fan of anyone telling Matt to zip it, but why are we telling Matt to zip it this time in particular?”

Hob sighed. Too late, he was doomed.

Dar’s russet head poked through the kitchen doors, followed by the rest of her, busily tying on an apron. They’d just opened for the day and only a few regulars had so far trickled in, at least, which meant there would be minimal witnesses to what he was about to endure.

“Our resident mysterious artist left him a token of affection on the wall in the alley and he wants to keep it all to himself.”

“Ooh!” Dar said brightly. “Tall Dark and Spooky strikes again!?” Matthew handed her his phone where the photo of the yellow and gold flames swirled in miniature. She gave a little whistle. “Oh my!”

Hob dragged a hand over his face. “It’s not a token of affection.”

“Wanna bet?” Matthew pulled out his wallet and waggled it. “Bet you ten bucks. Pounds. Whatever. Shit. What country am I in?”

“—and he’s not our mysterious artist,” Hob continued, undeterred.

“He’s decorating your pub and he likes my tea,” Dar said decisively. “That means he’s ours. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Actually I’m pretty sure most of the time you do.”

Hob wondered if noon really was too early to start drinking.

“I’m sure he’d be fine with the attention,” Matthew said, “considering that he’s dropping this stuff all over town.”

“No one knows anything about this dude, Matt,” Hob argued. But. You do, a little voice whispered in the back of his mind. You know how he likes his tea, you know his hands look cold, you know his eyes are the bluest thing you’ve ever seen— Hob shook it off and plucked the phone from Dar’s hand, closing the screen and poking it back into the front pocket of Matthew’s shirt. “You didn’t see the look he gave me last time he was here. Maybe he doesn’t actually want any kind of attention at all.”

“Well,” Dar said, flipping a dishtowel over one shoulder. “I can guess at least one type of attention he wants.” She looked past Hob and jutted her chin towards the door. Slowly, trying to be nonchalant and failing, Hob turned to glance behind him.

…you know his eyes are the bluest thing you’ve ever seen and he keeps looking at you with them…

Dream edged in through the door of the pub, cautiously, and headed straight for his usual table. He moved, Hob thought, as though the space around him was packed with rickety shelves covered in teacups. Slow and precise. Or, as Matthew would say, like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. As soon as his eyes met Hob’s he glanced quickly away and busied himself with pulling the ever-present sketch book from his satchel.

“WELP I should be—“

“Oh look, I’m just gonna head—“

Hob watched in resigned amusement as Matthew and Dar both suddenly discovered they had somewhere else to be and nearly ran into each other trying to get there. He sighed, and set about making a cup of tea.

He didn’t know what possessed him, this time, to make a second. Or to sit down, easy as you please in the chair across from his stranger, as though they had a standing date. Maybe a little of his old confidence was coming back from wherever it had been banished to over this past exceptionally shitty year.

Dream, who had been very studiously ignoring him for the last five minutes, actually gave a startled jump when a mug appeared in front of him, followed by a whole other human. He watched Hob with an expression of guarded surprise as he settled into his seat, cleared his throat, and extended a hand across the table. “Robert Gadling. I, er, hope you don’t mind me being wildly presumptuous.” To his delight, Dream reached out, slowly as though he was expecting to be bitten, and met his hand. His grip was firm, but cold. Hob resisted the sudden fierce urge to take his hands and wrap them around the mug of tea he’d just set down.

“I don’t mind, Mr. Gadling. I. Was.” He looked down at the blank page open in front of him, seemingly at a loss for words.

“I’m sorry for interrupting you,” Hob said. “I just wanted to come over and thank you, I suppose.”

Dreams eyebrows crept up. “Thank me?”

“For the—“ Hob gestured over Dream’s shoulder. “Artwork. It’s remarkable, really.”

Dream opened his mouth to speak, closed it. Tried again. “You don’t mind,” he finally stated, not quite a question.

Hob huffed a laugh. “Do I—? No I don’t mind at all. It’s brilliant. I needed something to brighten up this bastard of a winter and you’ve done a spectacular job of it.” Dream glanced away with what appeared to be a blush coloring his worryingly pale face. “I just had one question, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“No. Please.”

“Why us?”

Dreams head tipped questioningly to one side and Hob hastened on. “I wondered how you choose your…locations. There’s always some inspiration, isn’t there? Was just curious what it was about this old place that inspired you twice.”

Dream stared at him for a moment, a parade of emotions flickering across his face so quickly, it was impossible to parse them. His eyes dropped back to the table. “I came by chance. I was out looking for. Inspiration, as you said, I suppose.” He spoke like someone who hadn’t in so long that he’d lost the knack, Hob thought. A crying shame, with that voice. “I saw you, and your employees. Laughing together. Often. I was…interested in your experience.”

“Friends,” Hob said. Dreams eyes flicked up to meet his briefly and he smiled. “I inherited the place. Been in the family for generations. Doesn’t really feel like mine, you know? It belongs to the community at this point, I’m just here to keep the paperwork in order. Knew I’d be taking it over one day, but if I didn’t have friends helping me out here who knew what they were doing I’d have made a complete mess of it.” Hob realized he was prattling on, as he was wont to do, and took a gulp of tea in an effort to rein in his mouth. “I’m sorry. You said you were interested in our…experience?”

Hob watched Dream move his fingertips over the surface of the blank sketchbook page, producing a gentle rhythmic susurrus. “Yes…I…have had precious few of my own. I find inspiration in watching other’s appreciation for life and this place…there’s so much life to appreciate here.” Oh. He was blushing. It was fucking delightful. “I hope you don’t find that. Intrusive.”

“Of course not,” he said. “It’s literally what we’re here for.”

Dream said, “You were very kind, Mr. Gadling. The last time we spoke. It was…it’s own kind of inspiration.”

Ohhhh dear. Oh good grief. He was in trouble. Hob had no idea what his face was doing. He couldn’t even imagine. He coughed to clear the sudden tightness in his throat. “Call me Hob,” he said. “Everyone else does. No one uses my proper name unless I’m in trouble for something.”

“Hob.” Dream said. His mouth curved into the smallest of smiles. Something in Hob’s gut gave a little delighted jump and warmth bloomed, down beneath his breastbone. “My name—is—“ He paused and swallowed. Hob could see him battling forward through something, some wall, and had the irrational urge to cheer for him. “Dream” he finally managed. “You may call me Dream.”

The warmth in Hob’s belly grew, filling his chest. Knowing the name was nothing compared to being gifted the name. “Well, Dream, you’re welcome to come back anytime. Avail yourself of the blank wall space.” Hob grinned, hopeful. “And the experience.”

Dream was silent for a moment, then took a quiet breath. “The tea is also very good.”

It startled a laugh out of Hob. “That’s Dar’s doing, she blends it. Grows some of the herbs herself out there in the spring. She’s got a terrific hangover remedy if you ever need it.”

“I don’t often drink alcohol but I will keep that in mind.”

From the corner of his eye, Hob had noticed the steady motion of Dream’s fingers against the paper turning jerky and irregular. Now he’d abandoned it altogether in favor of twisting them together over and over. His shoulders were tensing, rounding a bit. Ah. It was time, Hob thought, to let him experience his inspiration from afar. But they’d made a start. He thought it was a good start.

Hob picked up his half-drunk mug and lifted it in a little salute. “Right then, I’ll…just leave you to the—the creative processes.”

Dream wrapped his hands around the mug in front of him, just as Hob had imagined, though without his own curved over top of them. “Until next time, then.” And there it was again, that faint smile.

Hob beat a retreat back to his flat. He was only halfway up the stairs when his phone began buzzing its way out of his pocket. Dar, as expected.

Okay we want the story. Spill!

Goddammit. I think I owe Matt a tenner

Told you

…………………..

Next time came later that week, when Dream appeared with his sketchbook and awkward smile and absurdly sexy voice, which Hob coaxed out of him for ten whole minutes before it was obvious he needed a break from human interaction. Hob gathered his small victories where he could.

The warm feeling in his gut, it stayed with him. It was gentle, soothing, some invisible softness blanketing all the rough-edged hurts he’d collected over the past year. It was…striking.

Which was why it was so profoundly obvious to him the moment it was gone.

The day started off wrong-footed in a dozen small and frustrating ways. It was one of those bloody wretched freezing winter days, devoid of snow or any kind of charm, with a biting wind that seemed hell-bent on causing as much trouble as possible. The Inn was busy with customers who mostly just seemed fed up with the outdoors and wanted to forget it existed for awhile.

Hob was helping out behind the bar, pulling orders for a surprisingly rowdy pre-dinner crowd and keeping an eye on one customer in particular—red sweater, surly expression, toeing Matthew’s cut-off line for acceptable drunkenness. He just caught Dream stepping in, huddled in a coat that didn’t look near heavy enough and looking even more like a frozen scarecrow than usual. Quickly he threw together Dream’s usual order, with the addition of a large muffin on a plate, and hurried over. “My friend, hello. I have a job for you today.”

Dream’s brows lifted slightly as Hob set it all down in front of him. “A job involving…muffins?”

Hob grinned. “We started bringing things in from that new bakery down the street, Gilbert’s, maybe help give them a boost. Matthew’s idea.” He nudged the muffin forward and grinned. “Taste test for me, give me a report later.”

Dream opened his mouth, but a crash and raised voices in the direction of the bar drowned out whatever it was he was about to say. Hob looked over his shoulder and swore. “Excuse me, I’ll be back.”

It was Anita, a friend of Dar’s, only two weeks on the job. She stood frozen in the middle of a circle of broken glass from a dropped tray and bystanders who were half out of their seats with the look of folks obviously ready to start throwing punches but unsure how to go about it. The man in the red sweater had one hand locked around her wrist and what could only be described as a leer on his face.

Coming up on them, Hob heard her furious “…I said shove off.”

Red Sweater slurred, “I see you talkin’ but ‘m not hearing anything worth listenin to, yet.”

“Oooh, bad idea mate,” she said. And then Hob’s hand was coming down on his forearm, fingers digging, and he released her with a pained shout.

“Out. Now.,” Hob said.

“Fuck you arsehole, what, you own the place?”

“Actually, yeah,” Matthew said, stepping up to Anita and gently pulling her out of range.

“He does.”

Hob leaned in close and growled, “It’s not that loud in here, I know you heard me.” He shifted his grip to grab a handful of red wool at the back of the man’s neck and pulled. “You can leave now, or I can walk into the back and just let the regulars decide how to sort you out.”

The man wrenched himself out of Hob’s grasp and honked a few more drunken obscenities around at no one in particular grabbing his coat and staggering off. Hob watched him go, resisting the urge to fling him bodily through the door. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dream, his head bent over his sketchbook, pencil moving intently.

It was pure dumb luck that he saw what followed, it happened so quickly.

The man was stalking unsteadily towards the exit, which took him directly past Dream’s table. As he neared it, Dream looked up and made the most peculiar gesture with his hand—Hob nearly missed it—as though he were lifting something from the table in front of him and flicking it away.

The banana peel hit the floor just as Red Sweater came parallel with Dream’s table. His shoe hit the peel, and in true slapstick fashion, his foot shot out from under him and he landed flat on his arse.

A wave of snickering passed through the crowd. Someone in the back hooted, “OH SMOOTH.”

Red Sweater scrambled to his feet, gave the room in general the finger, and slapped his way out the doors. The usual buzz of the Inn resumed as everyone went back to their conversations. As though an absolutely impossible thing had not just occurred right in front of them.

“What a dick,” Matthew said, appearing at Hob’s side with a broom. “Hey, you okay, boss?”

“What? I— yeah.” Hob shook his head. Nodded his head. Dragged his fingers through his hair. “Is Nita okay?”

“She’ll be okay, I think, she’s taking a break. You sure you are? Because you look like someone just slapped you with a fish. Hey! You know, there’s a word for that? It’s—“

“Hold that thought, Matt,” Hob said, reaching out to pat him absently on the shoulder. Feeling cold prickling across his skin, he made his way over to Dream’s table.

The table was empty. The tea sat untouched. The muffin was missing. Dream was gone.

Hob bent and picked up the banana peel, staring at the thing dangling limply in his hand. It was. A banana peel. Slightly squashed from being tread on. He didn’t know exactly what he’d expected, but that’s what he had. Feeling slow and stupid, he looked down at his feet and there on the floor—a steak of yellow, like chalk ground across the wood.

“What the hell?” he muttered.

Standing there by the door, he felt the cold rushing in, chilling him for the first time in what seemed like days.

Suddenly he was moving, ducking into the kitchen and through the back employee door. Turning the corner, he skirted around the odds and ends that littered the narrow space and pulled back to look at the wall where the orange flames had swirled.

They were…gone.

“What the bloody hell?”

The piece was still there, mostly, a little worse for wear. Hob could see the framing background details, but the flames themselves were gone. Instead there was nothing but empty space, clean bare wall, not even traces of clinging pigment left behind.

The wind blew sharply down the alley, and Hob shivered.

[after-witch]

Bright Lights Chapter 10 [Small Spaces Sequel]

Title: Bright Lights Chapter 10 [Small Spaces Sequel]

Synopsis: Ollie asks for help from the only people in the world who can understand her.

Word count: 2116

notes: we're baaaaaaaaack!!

AO3 CHAPTER LINK

Ollie had never quite believed in the notion of people being angels sent from heaven, but she really had to wonder if Miranda perhaps had wings underneath her scrubs that had so far stayed hidden. Because Miranda did not sigh or frown or look put-out when Ollie asked if she could stay for a few more hours.

Instead, she’d put her hand on Olivia’s shoulder and said, “Take as long as you need. I don’t have any other patients to see today. I had a feeling this might be an all-day thing.” 

Her dad had just fallen asleep when she finally left the Egg to meet up with Coco and Brian. Ollie had been tempted to wake him; she wanted to ask about the watch and the book. But he looked peaceful, and Ollie knew how rare that could be with him. So she kissed his forehead and let him sleep, and tried to ignore the knot in her stomach that only grew as she stepped out of the house and got back into her car.

The school still hadn’t called.

They didn’t call while Ollie was driving, nor did they call when she pulled into the parking lot of a local coffee shop, where she spotted Coco and Brian standing outside of their family van.

Coco was still talking on the phone when Ollie got out and approached them. It was Brian’s mother and father on the phone. They were semi-retired, and Brian often sighed over the pressure to take over the ski lodge when they decided to move into full retirement.

It wasn’t just the pressure, though, of how he’d manage a ski lodge and his sports camp. While he’d gone back to enjoying the slopes less than 2 years after the Hemlock Lodge horrors, Ollie knew they still sometimes gave him the creeps. They gave her the creeps, too. 

In the background of the call, Ollie heard James and Charlotte trying to pipe in with questions for their parents.

“How long are you going to be gone?” asked James. “Why did you pull us out of school? Am I going to have to make up for my science test?”

And then Charlotte spoke up, her voice high and clear on the speaker. “Is this about that man you and dad were talking about? Is Sam in trouble? Can we help?”

Ollie’s breath caught in her throat and she threw a furious look at Brian and Coco. Her lips mouthed the disbelieving words: “You told them?”

Coco’s brows pinched together and she looked ready to say something, but Brian shook his head and pulled Ollie aside.

“No, of course we didn’t.  They overheard us mention “him” the other day when you called about coming over.”

Olile felt guilt settle hard in her stomach. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m just–”

“Frazzled, I know,” Brian said. He didn’t look mad, just worried, which made Ollie feel better. “It’s fine. Let’s just figure out what’s going on with Sam, okay?” 

Coco finished the call and then immediately called another number as they walked into the coffee shop. Brian ordered for them, so that Ollie and Coco could get set up in the corner booth away from anyone else. 

Coco’s phone was set against the wall, and a tired, anxious looking Phil was square in the center of it. Even on the small screen, Ollie could see him biting back a thousand questions. 

Brian came back with coffee and sandwiches, although Ollie knew she probably wouldn’t be able to touch the food. Not when her stomach hurt so much. Not when she kept thinking about the smiling man. 

“All right, Owl,” Brian said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Fill us in and we’ll go from there.” 

Ollie’s throat felt tight. She swallowed against it and stared at her coffee cup. Could she be wrong? Was this stupid?

Coco took her hand and squeezed it. Ollie bit her cheek hard, fighting against tears. Why was Coco so good at making people feel better? Ollie couldn’t even get her own daughter to stop hating her. 

Coco gave another squeeze and Ollie took a deep breath.

“Okay. Here goes…”

She told them everything–no. Not everything. She told them about Sam. About not letting her go to the circus, about her being upset about never getting to stay out on her own or go on most field trips.. Coco and Brian already knew all of this, but Phil didn’t. It wasn’t something she felt like texting to him, exactly. Ollie tried not to feel hurt by the way his frown deepened. She wondered if he thought she was a bad mom. Too over-protective. 

And then she got to the events of this morning. Sam forged her signature. Her dad was acting strange. Her mom’s watch–gone. The Small Spaces book, written and published by one Beth Webster and used to save their lives the first time they fell into the smiling man’s clutches–missing. 

“The school said they would call when they got hold of her teacher, but it’s been a while.” Ollie’s hand curled around her untouched coffee mug. The hot ceramic was comforting. Distracting. 

“He probably can’t hear his phone very well in a circus,” offered Phil. Ollie glanced at Coco’s phone. “I know I can barely hear mine if I’m outside. I miss a lot of work calls.” He gave a shaky laugh, and Ollie returned it with a tight smile.

“Yeah,” she said, weakly. She wanted to believe it. What was more likely: that the teacher was having a hard time hearing his phone in a loud circus, or the teacher had been… what? Absconded by the smiling man behind the mist already? 

“Maybe–” Coco began, but Ollie’s phone rang, and she almost knocked over her coffee mug to pick it up and answer it. 

Coco, Brian and Phil were completely silent. It made Ollie’s stomach hurt more. She put the phone on speaker so that she wouldn’t have to repeat the conversation to her friends. It was hard enough recounting everything that had happened with Sam. 

“Hello?”

“Ollie, dear?” Mrs. Phelps’ voice was as kind as ever. Ollie clung to that kindness as she waited for news. “I’ve gotten hold of Mr. Wheeling, and let him know what was going on. Oh, he sounded very upset. They’re about to go on with the big show. But he said that he would pull Sam aside before it starts and keep her with him, and he’ll call you as soon as the bus gets back.” Mrs. Phelps sighed. “Sam is such a sweet girl, I can’t imagine why she would do something like this.”

Ollie felt relief lift her shoulders–at least nothing had happened yet–but there was still that underlying fear. It made her voice shake when she spoke. 

“I think she’s just stressed, Mrs. Phelps. With everything going on at home.”

Ollie felt like she could see Mrs. Phelps’ expression over the phone, and a sudden, awful nostalgia came washing over her. Sympathy face. Mrs. Phelps would be making sympathy face; that horrible, pitying, pinched look that had made Ollie so furiously helpless as a kid. 

“Of course, dear. Well, please let me know if you need anything else.” 

Ollie thanked Mrs. Phelps and set her phone back down on the table. 

No one said anything for a moment.

“So, she’s with a teacher,” said Phil. “Or she will be in a few minutes. Shouldn’t you look a little more relieved?”

Ollie’s hand went back around the mug. It felt lukewarm now.

“If this is what we think it is…” she began.

“What it could possibly be, but isn’t for sure,” corrected Brian. 

Ollie looked at him but said nothing.

“Then it doesn’t matter if there’s an adult, does there? It didn’t matter with us.” She thought about Mr. Easton and his awful, confused face when he turned back into a human. She thought about her dad and Coco’s mom and the owners of Hemlock Lodge, thrust under the smiling man’s whims. She thought about Phil’s uncle, and blood in the water. She thought about her dad. And the clowns. And the dolls. 

With the sullen, pinched expressions of Coco, Brian and Phil, Ollie realized that they were all thinking about those things, too.

“No,” Phil said, his voice choking a little. “An adult being there doesn’t mean it’s safe. You’re right.” 

Brian looked like he wanted to reach through the phone and hug Phil. But no one said anything about it–about Phil’s uncle, or any of the other horrors that they’d experienced. 

Sometimes you didn’t need to say anything out loud in order to know everyone in the room understood it. 

Ollie finally took a sip of her coffee. Although it wasn’t piping hot anymore, it was made just how she liked it. She glanced at Brian and wondered when exactly he’d learned her favorite coffee order. Then she remembered how many times he went on coffee runs when her dad was in the hospital. 

“Would it be crazy,” Ollie said slowly, “to drive up to the fairgrounds and wait in my car, instead of waiting for the bus to get back?”

Coco and Brian looked at each other. Whatever they said, they said with their glances. Sometimes, Ollie wished she could reach between them and pull out their silent conversations and hold them to her chest. “I don’t think it’s crazy.”

It was Phil who spoke.

Phil shrugged, a tiny gesture on the small screen. 

“Listen, Ollie. Trust your gut. It got you–” He shook his head. “It got all of us through everything before, right?”

Ollie nodded. “I guess.”

Phil held up his hands. “If this is the smiling man, then you’ll be ready to take him on. If it’s not and you’re crazy, well, you’ll just be Sam’s overprotective mom who caught her forging a signature and you can cross that bridge when you come to it. Either way… you’ll be ready.”

“Damn, Phil. When you’d get so smart?” There was an edge of pride in Brian’s voice. 

Phil chuckled, a short breathy laugh. “Oh, about a week ago. You must have missed it.”

Even Ollie cracked a smile.

“Ollie,” Phil said, suddenly sounding serious. “I have to get back to work. But listen. Tell me if you need me to come. You know I will.” 

Ollie shook her head. “I know. Thank you. For now, though, please don’t worry about it.” The image of the empty space where her mom’s watch should have been came to mind, and she continued. “Just maybe… be on standby, okay?”

When Phil hung up, the three of them were quiet. Ollie drank more of her coffee and checked her phone to see if Miranda had texted. Or if Sam had answered any of her text messages–but Ollie realized, with a grimace, that none of the texts she’d sent to Sam had gone through. 

There probably won’t be many bars at the fairgrounds, she thought. At the same time, the other possibility whispered in her ear. You know technology doesn’t work around him. 

She couldn’t wait for the bus to get back to the school. Phil was right. She had to trust her gut. In the worst case scenario, she’d be ready. In the best case scenario, she’d have yet another thing to work out with Sam. 

Her voice was quiet and tired when she finally spoke.

“Will you guys come with me?”

Coco stared at her like she had three heads. 

“Do you seriously need to ask that?”

Ollie looked across the booth at Coco.

Coco, who had just been some irritating new kid when the smiling man had first come. Ollie hadn’t even liked her, not really. But now Coco was her sister in every way possible. They’d grown so close over the years, she sometimes forgot that they weren’t really related. 

And Brian, who wasn’t just her brother-in-law, but one of her best friends. He knew her inside and out. He and Coco–and Phil, in his own way–were all there for her when she needed them. And she was there for him, as much as she could be, even if over the last few years she’d felt stretched too thin, like paper about to rip. 

Ollie put her hand in the center of the table. It was silly, she thought. Something you did when you were little and played in the woods and made secret clubs and pacts. Something you did when you were young enough to cut your palms and mix the blood together. 

But Coco put her hand on top of Ollie’s, and so did Brian. 

“Together,” Coco said.

“Together,” said Brian. 

“Together,” whispered Ollie.

[bellamer]

Just woke up from a dream where I was in Metal Family and I was Glam and Vicky' adopted daughter and they adopted me around Christmas so everything was framed as if it was a Christmas episode

Anyways, we were all going to the store to go Christmas shopping and Glam said that instead of the usual amount of presents Dee and Heavy get, they'll get a little less since I'm there and I deserve presents too, which made Heavy and Dee mad

So I felt like I wasn't bonding with the family, since Vicky rarely talked to me, Dee felt standoffish and Heavy didn't know how to feel about a "surprise older sister", Glam acted like he was at least a little happy to have me there and tried to make things comfortable for me but could still tell I was sad.

So we get to the store and the store was like a big ass mall and we all split up, but Glam went with Vicky, Dee went with Heavy and when I tried to go with Dee and Heavy, Dee blew me off and Vicky and Glam said I couldn't go with them because Vicky didn't want me with them so I was all alone

So I decided that I just wasn't a good fit for the family and disappeared into the aisles and other stores, hoping that they wouldn't find me and would forget about me

A few hours pass and Dee, Heavy, Glam and Vicky meet up at the agreed upon spot but I wasn't there. Vicky started calling my phone but I turned it off and Glam started asking security guards if they saw me but the guards said no and said they'd better find me cuz the mall was closing in like a half an hour

Vicky suddenly started panicking like "THAT MOTHER'S ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN, I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION !" and was violently shaking people asking if they saw him, Glam said to calm down because I was probably just waiting in the car or something so he sent Heavy to check but I wasn't there and a snow storm was going to start soon too so we needed to leave soon

Meanwhile I was in an abandoned part of the mall, crying and I didn't know it, but Chive was also there because he liked looting old stuff from the abandoned stores, he saw me but didn't say anything, just texted Glam "Dude, why's your daughter sobbing her eyes out in the abandoned part of a mall ?" And then he approached me and asked what's wrong, so I told him that I ran off because I didn't belong and nobody wanted me with them, and Chive laughed and said "They took you in because they wanted to give you a loving home, of course they want you around." But I just shook my head and told him they all act like I'm just a burden, unknowing to me, Chive had called Glam and put him on speakerphone, so that he and the rest of the family could listen into our conversation

Soon, I heard Vicky, Glam, Dee and Heavy calling my name, and I was about to run, but Vicky yoinked my ass into a tight ass hug and smothered my face in her chest, telling me she'd beat my ass for making her worry like that, and I was in shock since this was the first ever time Vicky showed affection to me or spoke more than a few words to me, Glam made her let me go and said that the only reason I couldn't shop with Vicky and Glam was because they didn't want me to see my presents

Dee apologized for blowing me off and said that for a long time he was the oldest and it was just him and Heavy for a while so he was just having trouble adjusting to having a new big sister, he didn't mean to make me uncomfortable.

They all assured that I was part of the family and that they loved me and appreciated me as a daughter and sister

We all ended up hugging before leaving the mall with Chive and it ended with a credits like thing where it showed pictures of us on Christmas with a heavy metal version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas playing in the background.

Then I woke up sad

[iveneverseenthesebowlsbefore]

(Thought I'd post this separately in case any non fandom people were interested.)

I was thinking to myself the other day that maybe I don't get more engagement on my tunes because ppl don't know how hard I work on them (obvs it must be that) so because so many of you asked, here's a long ass post on how I write a (fan)song.

Part 1: The Idea

Most of the time, the idea's the hardest part for me. I'll get either lyrically or musically inspired one day and play around on guitar or piano or open garageband and scroll through loops but not come up with anything i like enough to want to develop. And it's really because there's no spark behind it. That's the best part of fandom songs, I never need help for inspiration.

I get accosted with feels from a show, decide I must write a song for it, think about Stede and Ed, open gb on my phone, pick some chords and open my mouth and see what comes out.

(Le beginning)

Usually i get a lyric or two, a phrase maybe, and the start of a melody. Tbh It all happens so fast.

But after 15 minutes or so i have the bones of something; some lyrics; chorus and a verse, and what story i want to tell and where I want it to go.

Part 2: Taking Shape

Moving to the desktop now, we got a notes app with the WIP lyrics up and a few tracks from the iphone of the chord progressions for the first verse and chorus.

Usually i just have a simple guitar part, some percussion loops and bass...although if anyone has ever heard any of my songs you may notice that 'bass' always means CELLOS because i REALLY like low strings cuz they are DRAMATIC and i grew up on too much HANS ZIMMER.

Anyway, that's when i put my headphones on and start to sing what i have into the mic. it usually sounds very silly. i talk to myself lots. There's lots of gibberish. There are many kitty cat pitter patter sounds. (From the cats, not me)

Basically here is when I shape the content of song - edit and finish the lyrics, figuring out what story I want to tell while I do.

If I can't get the melody and lyrics to flow, what needs to change? What rhythm might work where, what's awkward, what lyric is too cliche or could hit harder?

What instruments do i want in this song? Do I want to add any ahhs or mmms or ooos to the background? what part is boring, what type of sound might make things pop?

Musically, I take out anything that doesn't feel good to my ears and add in anything they want to hear. Lyrically i try to add more depth with less words at any necessary phrase changes - any constraints actually makes lyric-writing easier for me (rhyming is also great for that)

I sand it down, smooth it out; make it into a song I would want to listen to and as a vocalist one I want to sing. This is only a first draft of the song, but the more I like it, the better i'll sing it.

Part 3: Finalizing Melody/Adding Harmonies

Usually i take a break between pt 2 and pt 3. My uncle likes to say i wear a lot of hats doing the song thing and i think he's onto something. Songwriter hat, lyricist, arranger, vocalist, topliner, engineer, producer, i kinda have to dabble in all them to get a song into a song. I def wear some better than others tho. And arranging harmonies is probably my favorite. At least, this is the part that comes most naturally to my earballs.

First I'll either piece together or record a new rough lead vocal of the final melody. I'll probably sing through it a couple times just to make sure everything feels good and locked in. I'll pick my favorite take, mute the others, and at last, it's harmony time bitches.

I make a new vocal track, press play, and then stop and record at any place i hear there ought to be harmony. A lot of time that's like, everywhere.

Sound painting i call it.

What can I say, I did a lot of choir and i hear a lotta harmonies and I'm so adhd guys i just wanna put all the noTES EVRRYWHERE

I go through a few runs of this. I'll want to make sure i have everything i hear recorded, even if i don't use it, so i can figure out what actually sounds good. I then have a LOT of extemporaneous harmonies to go though. As i enjoy pain, I then go through those.

I sort of go back and forth between zooming out and zooming in during this part. Zooming out on the entire song, figuring out what doesn't click, what's too much, what needs more and what needs less and then zooming in on the actual harmony parts. Does the vocal blend blend? Does it sound sexy or just dissonant af?

The more parts I add the more i have to make sure something wonky doesn't go and wonk everything up. The harmonies are never very complicated, usually just a 3rd and maybe a 5th in places. But i like to do counter melodies sometimes and then put harmony parts on *those* as well. Sometimes i add a bass vocal or a high octave, sometimes i do that on only certain words or phrases.

At the end I'll usually end up with my lead vocal, a double at some or all the choruses, and pruned harmony tracks on the verses and choruses, bridge, and on any counter melody thing I've done at the end of the song. i listen again, rerecording any harmony parts that need some tightening. These are only rough vocals; this is to get all the parts down and recorded and ready to sing later.

After that, the hard part (of this step) is over and I can start to play around a bit. I'll listen for any places calling out for what i like to call ~sparkles~ - moments where some ear candy would enhance the song. A high octave heaped in reverb somewhere, maybe an echo effect for one word only.

Once i start the sparkles part well... o the vocal plugins... the reverb alone... all the different ambience and echo-y sounds you can try, "church reverb", "echo chamber reverb"...

(tag yourself I'm Prison Main Floor)

You guys there's just. So many presets. Wtf does 'dark rising hall' sound like? I dunno but i'm about to find the fuck out.

i lose time then. Some hours pass. Days mayhaps.

Part 4: Vocals

Oh vocals. See this part. This part sounds like fun right? The singing! I love the singing of the song! And I do actually! But this part? This isn't singing. This is recording. And it's the actual worst.

See, I am, at heart, a theatrical singer. A performer if you will. And if I may draw your attention to this microphone on the left here:

This one on the left? This is a dynamic mic. This is my friend. This is a mic you use on stage. Where some people belt into it and others stick the whole thing in their mouths. You can do whatever with dynamic mic. Dynamic mic don't mind. Dynamic mic loves you. Dynamic mic lives for the drama of the theater.

Now the mic on the right? This mic is a mic for recording in studios. This is a condenser mic. This is a very different mic. Condenser mic very sensitive. Condenser mic pick up a fly fart. The juicy details of it too.

i have a very strained relationship with the condenser mic.

Getting the final vocals down in an apartment with paper thin walls, squeaky floors, cats licking themselves (loudly too Daphne jesus), with a condenser mic, just getting the room sound sounding soundy enough is hard enough, but then i gotta sing into the thing!

i don't edit my vocals in a program like melodyne anymore because its too fucking hard and time consuming (aka pitch correcting the pitchy notes) which is a thing you absolutely should do when you're stacking as many harmonies as i stack. But again, lazy. This means i gotta get those babies on pitch as much as I can. I have to get them at a decent level - they can't be too loud or the mic gets mad, they can't be too quiet or the fly farts will drown out my voice.

With proper breath support and a nice warmup most of the time I can get a decent tone outta myself. But guess what, your girl here? She got that long covid. And when you have lungs that are supposed to be all hot air balloon shaped but instead have become more like knotted up twisty straws and you gotta breathe real good to get a nice tone that isn't brittle or pitchy...

oh and remember those harmonies i love arranging oh so much? Gdi me. Gdi.

So yeah this part's really hard. It may take a while depending on the state of my voice (or yk, lungs/general health) it'll get done over the span of several days, lately, because my voice gives out so quickly. But eventually ill have a few takes of each vocal part, maybe 3, of performances where my voice was in ok enough shape.

Oh but we're only halfway done this part.

Part 4a: Comping

Now its time to go through the song one line at a time. And listen to all three sung versions of that line. One at a time. And pick which one is least offensive to my ears (aka one with a good level, nice tone and intonation, on pitch, controlled, has decent phrasing and diction and feeling too. And one I sang the correct lyrics on. I flub them more than you'd think). And then put them all together on one track to make a Final vocal track. This is called comping vocals.

I hate comping vocals.

It always gets a little messy.

I am usually very very cranky at the end of comping vocals.

Cuz remember all those harmony tracks? Guess what. I gotta comp them too. And all those sparkles and any mmms and ahhs and stuff I added? Yep. They gotta be comped. And *then* i gotta blend them together with fade outs and fade ins so it doesn't sound like 3 takes spliced together. And then I gotta make sure there's no kitty feets in them. And then I gotta reorganize them; join the regions, bounce the tracks, rename files, so it's *not* so messy and not a nightmare to mix.

Man oh man. I love to sing but i hate this part. I always get there in the end. But i have a lot of curses to edit out of those takes ill tell ya what.

Part 5: Tightening It Up And Sending It Off

At this point i can take off the vocalist hat and go back to the song-writer/producer hat and concentrate on making this song a song other people wanna sing along with too. How much i work on this part depends highly on the song. Sometimes it feels ready where it is, sometimes not.

I listen again and pay attention to the dynamic movement of the song. Is there enough build, drama, ear candy, etc? Is there a part calling out for a random funky loop? Most importantly, is it the best version of the song my ears can hear?

i start trying things. Take instruments out in places, vary them in others. Mute everything but the percussion. is it too much, not enough? Mute everything but the percussion and bass, the heartbeat of the song. Is it vibin'?

I think about the characters, think about how i feel listening to the lyrics; do they evoke them the way I wanted it too? Does it say about them everything I wanted it too? Does it need something more at the end, a hook all throughout? Should i take a sparkle and expand on it?

A bitch can get lost in this phase. But I'm better at it than you'd think after writing all that out. Because really, i don't think. I'm just listening. What do i want to hear? It's an intuitive thing, a feeling thing.

When i don't hear any places left I can improve it's time to send it to co-producer and engineering master badass uncle man. His ears are actually the best ears. They are grammy winning ears. I used to get intimidated sending my songs to him but now after working with him for so long, i just get super excited. What's *he* gonna hear??

Part 6: Edits

Producer notes! This part might be lengthy or not at all - basically what i said, what does Uncle Badass hear? He is very very good at hearing things. Sometimes he'll hear something sticking out that isn't working, sometimes he'll hear that the song needs a fucking church bell like in Safe to Land (which i maintain is a legit stroke of genius it works so well. 'Member Ricky's exploding clock? Wtf. UB don't even watch the show, how'd he know?)

Sometimes he'll notice a vocal thing, a harmony he hears and thinks I could add, a part of the song that needs to go somewhere different. Maybe something will sound wonky in the chords or harmonies.

Sometimes, i didn't get the vocals sounding quite right at all and so...yup. You guessed it. They need a total redo. Part 4 here we go again.

Sometimes it'll be the guitar part i have sucks ass because i'm not a very good guitar player. But hey just my luck. Guess who is.

(Uncle Badass)

So yeah he'll add some sweet ass guitar for me.

He will also tune up my fake instruments to sound a little less fake. For example bass (not the cellos this time); i am not a bass player and it's not the part of a song i attune to naturally unless it stands out, which means the bass parts in my songs are very one note most of the time (ha); he'll add some walk up/downs, maybe, move it around so it sounds more like s bassist playing a bass and not someone pushing a button on a screen. it's pretty neat.

Once we've decided the edits to the arrangement and I've done and finalized any vocal edits I needed to do then it's mixin' time.

Part 7: Mixin', Mastering, And The Final Mix

This is my favorite part because i don't have to do anything. Well mostly. I start to think about like, oh, sharing, I have to like, put it on the online places. Because if I made an art and no one see/hears it, did I really make an art??

This involves very little because i am bad at it.

I really love people like, listening to my songs, that's the point yk? But I don't like anywhere but, eh, tumblr. So usually i just tell my small group of hellsite frez, only a fraction of whom are in the fandom thing the song is about, and make a bad lyric video. I used to do the twitter and the other places; there was a hot minute during the Hannibal times that my songs were getting some real listen-age, it was fun! And i made a couple people cry. Which was the goal really so I've peaked.

But yk, I like my songs. I like it when other people interact with and like my songs too. But i don't really care if they do or they don't anymore. It's the getting older part I s'pose. And also fan edits are like 10 seconds long now. My millennial ass with all my 4 minute show-tunes don't have a chance on this here musk's internet. But I digress.

Anywho, while I'm not doing much, my uncle's *working* on this thing. He's been doing this for... yk what im not gonna tell you how long he's been doing this for because he'd say it makes him sound old. And it's impossible. Did you see that pic? That mofo will never be old.

So yeah, Uncle Badass puts on his engineer hat and makes this thing sound like a song. I've tried my best at audio engineering; i haven't quite gotten it down, but I know enough to know how little I know, you know? It's pretty amazing, I send him a lot of noise and he cleans it up and glosses it all up and finishes it and makes it into a song that sounds like a song.

After a few days he'll usually send me back a gorgeous thing and i'll be like OMG THIS IS A GORGEOUS THING. and then listen to it thrice more and be like OK LET'S TWEAK THIS PART OF YOUR GORGEOUS THING

This usually is just more arrangement talk, nitty gritty details this time tho, maybe i want an instrument to come in a measure earlier, maybe i want to just *hear* that and see if i like it better (and then ofc, he would make that edit for me...and many times...I don't actually like it better...and he un-edits it. But the ears. They want want they want yk?)

We go back and forth a lot during this part.

We tweak here and there, slowly but surely morphing the song into what I heard in my brain when I wrote it back in Part 1, when it was just an idea and a lil stanza in my notes app.

This is a very cool part. Cuz then it's done! It's mixed and mastered and ready to go and just THERE! I can hear it! It's real! It's me! And we made a whole bunch of sound that didn't exist before! How cool is that?

Ahh finished song dopamine is the best.

So, yeah! That's how I write a song. And how it goes from a lil idea to a finished Art. And it feels good to finish an art! And then I post it on tumblr dot com and it gets 2 notes! But hey

[machine-gun-casie]

where are you?

synopsis: you feel insecure with colson and he’s having none of it. (itty bitty titty committee!fem!reader)

wc: 4k

warnings: smut (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and all that), dom/sub undertones, “sir”, soft dom!colson, praise kink, choking kink.

a/n: this is my first ever smut so pls be gentle! i wrote the reader as small chested, but nothing else is described because ik how annoying it can be when small chested reader starts turning into skinny reader, so i hope you enjoy! please tell me what you think and how well i did because this is so nerve wracking!!! i love you guys!!

“Col, what are you doing?” You whined, crossing your arms over your chest. You were both lying on the couch when he suddenly jumped up and pulled you along with him. 

“Wait a minute.” He giggled as he set up his phone on top of a contraption made of random books he found lying around and two tissue boxes. His front facing camera was open and from what you could tell he was filming on tiktok.

“Oh my god, is that tiktok?” You groaned lightly. Colson had been obsessed with watching tiktoks recently, yet he hadn’t been really into making them. But the last time Casie was over, she taught him how to navigate the app and he was so eager to create. But did he have to be eager right now? You hadn’t had a chance to lie down with him all day.

“Yes,” he replied and walked away from his phone to stand directly in front of you, “now stand like this.” He instructed as he placed his large hands on your waist and positioned you to face him properly, taking your hands in his gingerly and putting them by your side.  

The first few notes left the speakers of his phone and you furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to figure out the name of the song. “Am I supposed to react or something?”

“No no, just wait.” He smiled, incredibly excited for whatever this was. As the music grew louder, Colson came closer and brought his hand up and grabbed the collar of your sweater gently in his palm. He pulled the sweater outwards and leaned forward to look down your shirt.

“Where are you?” He mouthed with the music.

Your jaw dropped as you threw your head back in laughter, your hand instinctively coming up to cover your chest once more. “You motherfucker!”

Colson laughed and pulled you into him by the hem of your sweater, “Come on, you know that was funny.” The audio replayed in the background as the time allotted for the video was used up, leading Colson to let go of you and reach for his phone.

“It was.” You agreed. “Doesn’t make you less of a dick.”

“You know I love your tiny tits, babe.” He mumbled as he fiddled with his phone.

“You better.” You chuckled and went back to the couch, hoping that your blanket was still warm.

“Hey, I’m gonna post this. Is that cool?” He called out to you.

“Go ahead.” You replied as you made yourself comfortable. “That was funny. Is it a trend or something?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “there was another audio that went like ‘to girls with anything smaller than a b cup, I hope you gentlemen have a good day’ or something. I thought that was funnier, but I couldn’t find it.”

“Yeah, tiktok’s search thing is crap.” You rolled your eyes. “Honestly, the most memorable part of the videos on their platform is the audio. You should be able to find things without having everything saved in your favorites.”

“Anything else I should include in my email to tiktok’s team?”

“Yes, tell them to verify me while they’re at it.”

It was only an hour or so later when Colson had to leave for something or other, he had told you about it a few days prior but you couldn’t remember for the life of you. He said that he’d be back before midnight, which was code for ‘you should wait up for me’. It was around ten p.m. when you decided that you should probably freshen up and put something nice on. 

After a quick shower and some of that lotion that Colson loved the smell of, you sat on the damp bathroom counter and pulled out your little makeup bag that you had yet to unpack after your last trip with Colson.

Makeup wasn’t a necessity for nights with your boyfriend, but you knew he loved how roughed up you looked with smeared lipstick and mascara running down your cheeks. So you put on your heaviest mascara that wasn’t waterproof, focusing on your lower lashes, and one of your cheapest lipsticks so it wouldn’t stain no matter how badly it smeared.

You weren’t really thinking of how you would look as you went through your routine, but more of what would happen when Colson got home. So when you opened your lingerie drawer, full of red, black, and bright pink sets all thanks to Colson, you were surprised to be hit by feelings of insecurity and dread.

Considering the fact that your relationship with Colson was almost a year long thus far, you hadn’t felt insecure or uncomfortable with him in so long. Was it really… No. It couldn’t be.

That stupid tiktok. It was getting to you. 

You weren’t sure why. You knew it was a joke, a good one at that. It hadn’t made you uncomfortable at the time. Nor did it now, really. You and Colson have joked about the size of your boobs many times, just like how you joked about how skinny he was or how bad morning breath always was. It was just how your relationship grew to be after you both fully let loose around each other. 

So why was this getting to you? You tried to come to a conclusion as you pulled on one of your favorite sets. As you stared at yourself in the mirror and adjusted the lingerie, you heard the front door open and decided that the time for analyzing your insecurities was not now.

Moments after you settled down on the bed, the door open and revealed Colson in a nice fancy looking suit. He let out a low whistle as he dropped his phone and his keys on the dresser, “Wow. What did I do in this world to deserve this?”

“I think you just got real lucky.” You smirked. “Love the get up, lover boy.”

“Yeah? Balmain for next week’s carpet.” He did a little spin as he walked closer. A fitting with Balmain, that’s right. “How much do you love it?”

“Not enough.” You feigned a frown and cocked your head to the side. “I’d like it off now, please and thank you.”

“Since you used your manners.” He smiled as he shrugged off the white suit jacket, disposing of the shirt and the pants quickly after, leaving him in just his boxers. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart. I’d rip that set off you if I didn’t know how much it costs.”

“I don’t mind,” you purred as he climbed onto the bed next to you, “my man can buy me another.”

“Your man?” Colson raised his eyebrows at you, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned. He pulled you onto his lap, purposefully placing the damp patch on your lace panties against his pulsing erection.

Your hips bucked up at the contact and you hissed. “Yeah- my man.” You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against his lips, pulling away as soon as he tried to take it further. “He takes care of me so well.”

“How does he take care of you, sweetheart?” Colson asked as he trailed his hands upwards against your thighs, one of them speeding up to your waist while the other stayed on its course. Your boyfriend wasn’t one for teasing, especially when he was as hard as he is now, so you knew where his hand was headed and it wasn’t going to take long.

“He fucks me so-” You gasped as his fingers reached the side of your panties, pushing them aside to stroke you gently. “He fucks me so good.” A moan escaped you as his pointer finger slowly sunk into you, knuckle by knuckle.

“Yeah I do.” Colson grinned as he watched your face contort. “So pretty, baby.” He let his thumb rest against your clit once his finger was fully sheathed inside of you.

“Colson,” you whined as you tried to ride his finger, “move.”

He pouted at you mockingly. “You were being so nice just now with your ‘please and thank you.’ You’re throwing around commands now?”

“Please, please, touch me.” He wasted no time in pumping his finger in and out and using his thumb to circle your clit. You whimpered at the attention, losing yourself to the pleasure. He had barely touched you and you were already desperate. “Another one, Colson. Please?”

“I love it when you use your manners, baby girl. Always so polite.” He smiled and watched you carefully as he pushed in his middle finger with the next thrust. His middle finger being slightly longer in addition to the girth of both fingers had your jaw dropping as your head fell back. “So perfect. Look at you, taking my fingers so well. Think you can take my cock just as good?”

“Yes, yes, please Colson.” You nodded fervently, trying to pull yourself off of his fingers. But he wouldn’t let you, pushing up along with you to keep his hand in place as he tsked at you.

“Not now babygirl, need you to come for me first. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He replied as he brought the hand on your waist up to your face. “Can you come for me?”

You whined as your eyebrows furrowed, eyes screwed shut at this point. “Wanna come on your cock.”

“And you will,” Colson reassured you, letting his hand fall to your neck, his thumb gently stroking the column of your throat, “but you gotta give me one before I can let you. I know you can, sweetheart. You’re always such a good girl for me, always taking care of me. Let me take care of you.” He circled your bud faster as he praised you, pushing his fingers in as deep as he could without hurting you to press up against your g-spot. He watched as you rolled your eyes back as the pleasure hit you and he knew you were close. 

He let his hand trail down your chest and then he pulled the lace covering your right breast down. Colson lowered his head and connected his mouth to your hardened nipple and you groaned as he swirled his tongue around it. You grabbed him roughly by the sides of his head and pulled him into a deep kiss. With your eyes closed you didn’t see Colson’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.

He pulled away and looked at you carefully, realizing that you were on the precipice. “Come for me, Angel.” He breathed heavily against your lips. And like a good girl, you did.

Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as you let the pleasure wash over you. Colson smirked as he watched you ride out the high, knowing that he did that to you with only his fingers.

“You really know how to use your hands.” You panted, leaning forward to place your forehead against his. 

“I changed your mind on fingering, didn’t I?” He asked. Colson was right, you used to hate being fingered before you met him. It just felt like prodding fingers and harsh jabs in a place that was far too sensitive for that. He begged and begged to touch you for weeks before you finally agreed, and it was probably one of his proudest moments when he managed to make you come five times with just his fingers that night.

“Ugh, I hate that word.” You chuckled,

“What? Fingering?” Colson asked as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, knowing damn well what word it was. “But I thought you liked getting fingered? I always finger you so good, don’t I?”

“Oh my god, shut up!” You laughed. “You are a man child.”

“A man child who’s great at fingering.” He waggled his eyebrows at you as he brought his digits up to his mouth and sucked them clean. He placed his wet fingers against your cheeks and brought you closer to him, kissing you deeply. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it was intoxicating.

“Fuck me already!” You whined as you broke away from him. You pawed at his boxers to show him how desperate you were. “Please, I need you. Been waiting for you all day.”

“Me too, baby.” Colson huffed, lifting you off his lap and putting you down on the bed to take off his boxers. Once they were halfway across the room, Colson tried to push you down on the bed but you resisted.

“Wanna ride you.” You whispered and watched his eyes light up. 

“Can I take these off first?” He asked, hand coming up to your bra strap, and you nodded. He reached back and unclasped the fabric, watching the straps gently fall down your shoulder. He always loved undressing you, never letting you do it yourself. His hands came up to gently squeeze both your breasts, thumbs rubbing back and forth on your nipples. You slowly reached down to slip off your panties, knowing that Colson would stop you. “Hey, no. Let me.”

He always undressed you, he thought as he pulled your panties down your legs. Why would you attempt something different today? Something wasn’t adding up.

“Lie back.” You whispered as you pushed him down. You crawled up towards him and moved your legs to straddle his hips. “It’s been too long, baby.”

“I fucked you this morning.” Colson chuckled, voice tight as he felt your sopping wet pussy land on his aching dick.

“Like I said,” you sighed nonchalantly, “too long.”

Colson wasn’t one for teasing. You, on the other hand, lived for it. You glided against his length slowly, slicking him up and torturing him at the same time.

“You’re killing me here, sweetheart.” Colson groaned.

“You know it’s my favorite thing to do, my love.” You smiled, leaning down to kiss him. “Gotta remind you who’s in control.”

“Fuck,” he groaned at your words, “you wanna have that talk now? We both know I give you the reins when I feel like it.” He swiftly flipped the two of you over, leaving him hovering over your body. His right hand quickly reached up to circle your throat, applying the slightest bit of pressure. “Now be a good girl and ride my dick like you said you would.”

“Yes sir,” you smiled as you got the exact reaction you were hoping for. He dropped down next to you and helped you back into your previous position, but you stayed hovering over his hips. You grabbed the base of his cock and positioned the tip against your entrance. Slowly lowering yourself, you let go once the tip was firmly in place. You placed both hands against Colson’s heavily inked chest and pushed down the rest of the way.

You both moaned in unison when he bottomed out after what felt like forever. Colson tried to move his hips, but with the slight shake of your head he paused. “Gimme a- gimme a second, Mr. Monster Cock.”

“After all this time, sweetheart?” He smirked.

“You say that every time, Colson.” You laughed as you tried to relax. “Okay.” You nodded as you slowly lifted yourself off his hips, pausing at the tip and then lowering yourself a little faster than before. “Feels bigger every time. You’re not taking those penis enlargement pills, are you?” You knew you were only stroking his ego at this point, but his face was worth it.

“They should probably use me for their ads.” 

“They’d sell out too fast.” You groaned, your eyes fluttering shut. “I should ride you more often.”

“You don’t like it when I’m in control?” He asked, head rolling back and accentuating his adam’s apple. He opened his eyes and placed his palm against your throat again, warning you.

“Love it when you’re in control, baby.” You hummed. “But I gotta say, watching you from this angle is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to heaven.”

“Good answer.” He chuckled, letting his hand slip down to your chest. Before he could even try to hold you, you grabbed his hand and pushed it against the bed, holding it there.

It finally clicked in Colson’s head as he saw the sweater you were wearing earlier that morning hung up behind the door. You had barely let him touch you today after he filmed that stupid tiktok. Oh fuck no, this wasn’t gonna happen on his watch. 

He sat up with you still in his lap and grabbed both of your hands. “What are you doing, y/n?” His tone and the use of your name and not a pet name stopped you in your tracks.

“I’m fucking my boyfriend, what are you doing?” You asked, not understanding what he was on about. 

“You’re not letting me touch you.” You looked down at your hands in his and raised your brows at him. “No,” he paused, placing both your hands in his left one and reaching towards your chest, “you’re not letting me touch you.” He squeezed your left breast causing you to gasp and arch your back. “Every time I get close, you push me away.”

“I’m not-”

“Don’t lie.” He shook his head disappointedly. “You know that video was a joke, right? I can delete it right fucking now if you want me to.”

“Colson, it’s not about that-” You started.

“Then what is it about?” He raised his brows at you. “You’re not letting me enjoy what’s mine.” He pinched your nipple hard and watched as you arched your back again. “You are mine. And I like to enjoy what's mine. These are mine. I like to kiss them,” he leaned down to do just that, “I like to bite them,” he gently nipped against the soft skin of your breast. “And I fucking love marking them.” He sucked a spot right next to your nipple, pulling away only when he was sure it would be dark enough to show. “Don’t stop me from enjoying what’s mine, you understand?”

“Yes sir.” You nodded, wrists still held in his left hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t about the video, I promise.”

“Shh,” he pressed his lips against yours to silence you, “we’ll talk about it later. We’re not having any important conversations when you’re squeezing my dick like that, sweetheart.”

“Like,” you paused to clench your inner walls, “that?”

“Oh fuck!” Colson choked out, thrusting his hips up roughly. “Darling, I think you should let me handle this now.”

“I’m all yours,” you breathed.

As soon as the words left your mouth, Colson let himself go. He didn’t even bother flipping you over, he just took control with you on top. He grabbed you by the hips and simply used you.

You tried to sneak your hand down to give your sweet spot some attention, but Colson’s growl stopped you. “Be patient, baby.”

The thrusts were no longer consistent as his hips stuttered, telling you that he was close. “Colson,” you whined, “please.”

He paused and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he saw how wrecked you looked. Tears leaving black trails of watery mascara down your cheeks, and lipstick smeared to one side, probably because of how he flipped you over that first time. He could see how desperate you were and he wanted to be the solution. He needed to be the solution.

Reaching down slowly, taking his time trailing your body as he went, Colson circled his finger against your clit and began to thrust ever so slowly. It took so much effort to maintain his slow pace, but anything was worth it when it came to you. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He asked as he focused on your blissed out face. “Beautiful and mine. All mine.”

“Yours,” you nodded as you squeezed your eyes shut. “So close, Colson. I’m so-”

“Let go for me, baby.”

With a high pitched moan, you let go. You spasmed on his cock, milking it and making it incredibly difficult for him not to blow his load right then and there.

As you started to wilt against him, you felt him slowly pulling out of you. “But you-”

“Wanna- Oh fuck… Wanna come on your tits.” He groaned, pumping himself as soon as he was out of you. You quickly laid down on the bed and pushed out your chest. He brought his knees to either side of your waist and placed the hand that wasn’t working his cock around your throat. “Mine.”

“Yours.” You gasped. With a few more pumps, his head was rolling back and he was painting your chest.

He panted heavily as he came down from his high, eyes still tightly closed. When he finally opened them, he smiled lazily. “Look at you, covered in my load. So pretty, baby.” He reached down and rubbed the seed into your skin and against your nipples. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead and sagged against you for a moment.

After his breather, he sat back up and headed to the bathroom, tossing a ‘be right back’ over his shoulder. You were left alone in the bedroom for a minute, hearing the water running in the bathroom reminding you that you need to pee.

You weren’t entirely sure where the sudden insecurity came from tonight. Not that you weren’t ever insecure about your body, but never during sex and definitely never with Colson. You sat up on the bed and stared at the open bathroom door where your boyfriend was. He had only ever made you feel loved and gorgeous. Maybe his obvious acknowledgment to your lack of cup size did make you question. Question your worthiness of him. He was obviously well endowed, and most people knew that. You chuckled lightly as you remembered the stupid cock sock.

Maybe it made you feel a little less than, you thought as you walked towards the bathroom. You walked in and let your fingers trail against Colson’s shoulder as you passed him at the sink to do your business.

You watched him as he grabbed a towel and ran it under the warm water. You quickly finished and sat on the bathroom counter in front of him. He slowly wiped away at your chest with the damp cloth, being gentle against the soft skin. 

But here he is. Caring for you. Loving on you. Loving you. You almost laughed out loud at yourself for questioning his love or your worthiness when he was so obviously devoted to you of his own accord. 

“I love you.” You broke the silence.

“I love you, too.” Colson looked up at you, slightly shocked and confused. You had both already said the ‘L-word’ a while ago, but you usually kept the love confessions in dark rooms and not in the harsh bathroom light. “Was I too-”

“No.” You shook your head as he reached for your pack of makeup wipes behind you. “No, you always take care of me so well.”

You went quiet again, before you opened your mouth to speak at the same time that he did. He paused and waited for you to speak, but when you didn’t, he started again.

“If that video bothered you, you should have told me y/n. I’m sorry I made you feel insecure, but next time you gotta tell me before it escalates.” He spoke softly as he pulled a wipe out of the pack and cleaned up your face. “I love you. That includes every part of you.”

“I’m sorry, I promise it wasn’t the stupid video. It was actually really funny.” You chuckled. “I don’t know what hit me. When I was getting ready before you came, I just looked down at my drawer and felt so stupid. I felt like I was pretending to be sexy for you. Like- Like I was convincing myself all this time that this turned you on when there’s no way it could.” He opened his mouth but you looked at him and he paused. “But I know that that isn’t true. And I’m sorry for doing that back there.”

“I swear to god y/n, if you apologize one more time-”

You laughed, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m so- I’m not! I’m not sorry!”

“You aren’t,” he nodded, his eyes meeting yours so that you knew he was being serious, “because you have nothing to be sorry for. And I know that if I apologize again, this is never gonna end. I love you, and you are so sexy, and I am the world’s luckiest man because you’re all mine.”

“Yeah, you are.” You giggled and smiled as he rolled his eyes. 

[skzsauce01]

Angel Sent From Up Above

Anniversary Request Special

Synopsis: Hyunjin, a new guardian angel, has fallen in love with a human. His human’s girlfriend, to be precise. Angel AU, background college AU and skater AU.

Warning: violence

Word Count: 8.3k

Pairing: fem!reader x guardian angel!Hyunjin; fem!reader x human!Jeongin

“Is she healed now?” Hyunjin asks the moment Jisung flies in. He knows Jisung is probably exhausted from keeping maladies away from you, but he needs the answer now. “Is her flu gone?”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s wings are tinged gray with ruin, but he keeps them on display for all the other guardian angels to see as he walks past them. They are proof that he has been doing his duty. They’ll return to white soon enough anyway. “Your human’s her boyfriend. Why didn’t you try to check through him? He visited a few times even though she told him not to.” Jisung sighs and shakes his head. “What an idiot. He’s going to get sick himself.”

“He hasn't visited recently, so I haven’t been able to check through him. The Archangel’s forbade me going to Earth unless it was something serious. I think he’s worried I'm spending too much time with humans.”

Jisung shakes his head. “I think he’s worried that he’s going to have to Seungmin you.”

“I'm not going to get expelled.”

Jisung shrugs, and ruin falls from his wings like ash. “You better watch out. You checked up on her too much last time she got sick, so he's probably trying to make sure you won't abandon your human. He's banished people for less. Case in point: Seungmin.”

“She's important to Jeongin, so she's important to me."

Jisung sighs. “Sometimes I think you’re more protective of her than I am.”

He says it as a joke, but Hyunjin knows it’s the truth. He cares deeply about you, maybe even more than his own human, but he will never say that last part aloud.

Hyunjin used to believe that becoming a guardian angel was the best thing that ever happened to him. All of his afterlife, he had wanted to be promoted, to be granted the pure white wings and the crown of sun rays. Regular angels had wings and halos but never white wings and golden halos; silver and silver was the “regular” combination.

Watching over a human was considered the highest honor an angel could receive, and everyone clamored to gain the attention of the Archangel. Hyunjin was not immune. He worked as a messenger for years, delivering even the most inane notes between the higher ups. He endured the attacks, verbal and sometimes physical, and kept his mouth shut. Eventually, the Archangel recognized his efforts, and before dawn broke on Earth, Hyunjin was named the new guardian angel of a baby boy, Yang Jeongin.

“You will protect him. You will guide him,” the Archangel said. “He is your responsibility now and yours alone. Do you understand?”

From Heaven, Hyunjin could only look at the wet, wrinkled face of his human. His human. “I understand.”

Then the Archangel flew off, and Hyunjin flew to Earth for the first time to meet the baby. No one noticed him as he phased through the hospital walls nor as his giant wings folded back. Only Jeongin would be able to see his guardian angel.

“Hello there, little one,” he whispered to the swaddled baby. The boy was fast asleep, and Hyunjin gently stroked his face. “I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Hyunjin, your official guardian angel. I’ll always be nearby now, and I’ll always make sure you’re safe. Sometimes you won’t be able to see me, but I’ll always be watching over you. I promise.”

Jeongin stirred awake and stared back at Hyunjin. Two sets of eyes blinked at each other, one full of curiosity and one full of tenderness.

“Go back to sleep,” Hyunjin said. He drew his hand over the baby’s face, and Jeongin’s eyes fluttered shut. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

Guardian angels talked about their humans like parents, bragging about how gifted they were and sharing complaints about what unbelievable thing they did the other day. Hyunjin mostly did the latter. Jeongin was an adventurous child, which was just a nice way of saying that he liked to play with danger. Hyunjin often had to fly in to save him or to redirect the threat somewhere else. The other angels joked that Hyunjin stayed on Earth more than Heaven sometimes. He didn’t mind though. Even with his human’s shortcomings, Hyunjin adored him. He watched from above as Jeongin said his first words, attended his first day of kindergarten, and got into his first fight.

“He’s a troublemaker,” Minho observed.

Minho was a guardian angel as well, but he tended to lurk on the outer edges of the realm as the other angels avoided him for a reason Hyunjin hadn’t figured out yet. Hyunjin liked him well enough and treated him like a mentor, sometimes a friend.

“Hey, you’re not one to talk. Your human started a black market of candy at school.”

Minho shrugged. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

Jeongin didn’t end up growing up into a troublemaker, to Hyunjin’s relief. The impulsive streak was still there, but he utilized his judgement more now. There were no car crashes or cases of alcohol poisoning, and when Jeongin asked out girls, it was with daisy bouquets and a suggestion to get lunch. Hyunjin slowly stopped making routine trips to Earth and chose to view Jeongin from the comfort of Heaven. It was there that Hyunjin noticed you.

“I think she’s upset with him,” Jisung abruptly says. “She cried after a video call with him, so if your human starts acting strangely, that’s why.”

The news makes Hyunjin stop mid-step, and he turns to his friend. “She cried? What? What did she cry about?”

“I don’t know. I was too busy trying to lower her temperature. Can you believe that she almost hit—”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I just got back! There is no ‘earlier!’ Besides, we aren't allowed to interfere in anything that isn't dangerous. Heartbreak, if this is even what this is, is temporary."

“Humans do drastic things for love.” The movies has seen while watching Jeongin have told him that much.

“Which we will attend to when it happens. You’re a new guardian; you’ll understand them better over time. Not everything is life-threatening, fragile as they are.”

Hyunjin turns away from Jisung and glances down at Earth. The clouds part, and all of the brick buildings of the university rush towards his eyes as he focuses on Jeongin. He’s asleep at his desk, his lamp still burning bright above him. How long has it been since the video call? Or perhaps he’s just tired from the events of his day. But he looks so small and vulnerable in his chair. Jeongin isn’t fragile — the amount of situations he has gotten out of covered in bruises and blood is astronomical — but he is mortal.

“But she loves him,” Hyunjin softly says, “and he loves her.”

“Exactly. Humans fight over small things all the time, and this is one of those times.” Jisung places a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder to placate him. “Trust me.”

“... I trust you.”

“Good. I need to rest, but we can catch up and see what stupid things they do after.”

The moment Jisung flies off to the rest area, Hyunjin goes against the Archangel’s orders and flies to your apartment. When he peers inside your bedroom window, he spots you sitting in bed in the dark, your phone screen illuminating your face. He phases inside and sits at your desk chair, resting his forearms at the top rail. You can’t see him, but he wishes that you could.

You mindlessly scroll through messages, sniffling every few seconds. Whether it’s from your crying or your illness, he doesn’t know. He can’t hand you a tissue or tell you comforting things or hug you like Jeongin can. When you wrap your blanket tighter around your shoulders, he wraps his wings around himself as well.

Suddenly you throw your phone beside you and let out a heavy sigh. “It can’t get any worse than this,” you say to yourself.

Hyunjin waits for you to say more, but you only stare at the ceiling with blank eyes. He can’t compel you to talk; only Jisung can, but he’s not here. So instead, Hyunjin knocks over the glass of water on your bed when you shift into a more comfortable position.

“Of course it can,” you sigh again and blot as much water as you can with your tissues. You pull another one out of the box with more force than necessary and furiously dab your sheets. “First I get sick, then I miss a homework deadline that I can’t make up because my professor lost his heart thirty years ago along with his hair, then my boyfriend breaks up with me for like no reason, apparently I have an exam tomorrow, and now I’ve spilled water all over my bed, so I can’t even sleep. Thank you, universe. I really needed this.”

He immediately regrets his decision.

“Worst freaking week of my life,” you mumble as you throw away the wet tissues. Hyunjin almost reaches out for your arm when you pass by, but he retracts it just in time.

When you climb back into bed, you draw your blanket up to your chin and begin murmuring numbers. They come out calm and even at first, but they become more tense as time passes. Hyunjin half-listens as he scans the contents of your desk. A laptop, a shopping bag, an open notebook with doodles on the margins, an uncapped black pen, and a pack of gum. He presses his forefinger to the point of the pen, drawing a tiny heart by touch. Then he stamps the heart among all your misshapen stars and imaginary flowers. You might just think it’s an ink smear, but he hopes you look at it and smile.  

You hit three hundred and forty-seven before you begin to sound drowsy. Hyunjin stands at the foot of your bed, watching as you finally drift off in the middle of three hundred and ninety-three. Serenity settles across your features.

“I’m sorry for what I did earlier. Good night and sweet dreams,” he whispers. He pats the corner of your bed before flying off into the night.

He needs to see Jeongin.

It was hard not to notice you when you were on a collision course with Jeongin. You were going too fast, and Hyunjin’s wings couldn’t carry him to Earth in milliseconds. With horror, he watched as you sharply turned the building corner on your skateboard and just barely jumped off in time when you saw Jeongin about to make the same turn.

“You okay?” Jeongin asked as he hurried to stop your runaway board.

“I should be asking you that!” you exclaimed as you followed him. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have veered that close to the wall. You’re not hurt or anything, right?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Good. I can’t risk getting sued again.” Unsure of how to respond, Jeongin nudged back your board to you. You neatly stopped it mid-roll with your foot. “Thanks, by the way. See you around.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You kicked off, but before you left the area, you turned around and gave him a wave. Jeongin waved back, albeit more shyly than you. After a moment’s hesitation, he yelled out, “Be careful!”

“I’ll try!”

Jeongin laughed and turned the corner, looking at the brick wall with more wistfulness than most people usually did. Before he entered the building, he peeked around the next corner, as if he expected you to come speeding by again. You didn’t.

After that, he noticed you more often, usually swerving around strangers as you cut through campus. Whenever he had the opportunity to say hello, he did so with a smile, and you returned it with a waggle of your fingers before disappearing into the crowd. Once, you nearly crashed into a railing. You laughed it off and gave him another wave along with a funny face. Hyunjin felt something inside him melt. Jeongin must have too since he headed to his next class with the most lovestruck expression Hyunjin had ever seen on him.

It was then that Jeongin began forming a plan.

Two weeks after the first meeting, Jeongin waited in the quad for you to show up. Just as he hoped, you came walking down the steps fifteen minutes later, skateboard tucked underneath your arm. It was supposed to seem like a coincidence, but Hyunjin had followed Jeongin as he scoured nearby skate spots, asking around about you. Yesterday, he had learned where you liked to practice tricks. He got up from his bench, hands hidden behind his back, and approached you with the same moves and confidence he had rehearsed in the bathroom mirror.

“Hey! How have you been?” he called up from the very bottom.

Meanwhile, Hyunjin groaned. Jisung, who Hyunjin had tracked down two days prior to this, also did so.

“You said he was a charmer,” Jisung complained. “Look at him. He can’t even charm dogs with a treat.”

“For your sake, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Just wait though. It’s going to get better.”

Jisung huffed. “It better. She deserves the best.”

Fortunately, you took it all in stride and waved hello at Jeongin. When you were finally beside him, you answered, “I’ve been good, thanks. You’re not here to sue me, right?”

“No! I was actually wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. If you have time, that is.”

“Really? But I almost killed you that one time. I mean, I’d be happy to, but it’s kind of weird after what happened.”

“I’d rather skateboard than walk, and you seem pretty good at it.”

You shifted your weight to one foot, and Hyunjin chuckled when he saw Jeongin’s eyes wander to your jutted-out hip. Jisung made a noise of disapproval.

“Okay, what is this really about?”

“Skateboarding,” Jeongin said. Then he took a step closer and held out a bundle of daisies towards you. “And lunch, if you want.”

You broke out into a grin. “I am a little hungry right now. L/N Y/N, skateboarding extraordinaire and ramen enthusiast, at your service.”

“Yang Jeongin, also a ramen enthusiast. Nice to officially meet you.”

Jeongin is still sleeping at his desk when Hyunjin arrives. He shifts and exhales when the wind from Hyunjin’s wings create a small breeze but does not wake.

“How could you break up with her?” Hyunjin says. “She’s amazing and wonderful, and you decide that you don't want to be with her? Sometimes I wonder what’s going on in your head.”

Silence.

“If I were human, I would have never done that, but…”

Jeongin shifts again, burying himself deeper into the crumpled hoodie he’s using as a pillow. The table squeaks, and a mechanical pencil rolls off the desk. Hyunjin quietly places the pencil back to its initial place and shuts off the lamp.

“Take care of yourself, and make good choices, okay? I can’t do that for you.”

Instead of flying back to Heaven, he perches on the roof of the building across from Jeongin’s. Jeongin finally wakes up and notices that his light is off. He glances at it confusedly for a few seconds, wondering if he misremembered leaving it on. In the end, he decides it’s not worth the effort and falls into his bed. He didn’t even spare you a thought, a crime in Hyunjin’s eyes.

Then he realizes he may have a bigger problem on his hands.

Jisung.

Jisung is going to be very upset when he finds out about this.

Over the weekend, you brought Jeongin to the quad to learn the basics.

“Put both feet on the board now,” you said as you walked alongside a skateboarding Jeongin. He was borrowing yours to practice, so he treated it with more reverence than a well-used board would need. Even though he was pushing with his back foot, he was going at a snail’s pace.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going to lose my balance and fall.”

Perhaps it wasn’t reverence after all.

You shook your head. “No, you won’t. You’re not going that fast anyway. You can just step off if you really feel like you are. Give it a shot.”

To his credit, Jeongin lifted his foot a few centimeters off the ground before planting it back. “I’m going to lose control.”

While you did your best to persuade Jeongin to give it another try, Jisung gave Hyunjin a dissatisfied look. “I remember you telling me he was a daredevil. What is happening?”

He didn’t exactly know either. “He’s in front of his crush; give him a break.”

“These two better not end up dating. She deserves so much better than him.”

Hyunjin gave him a dirty look, Jisung gave him a “What? It’s true” type of a shrug.

You step in front of the board. “How about this?” you said. “You stand on the board with both feet, and I’ll pull you along so you can get used to the feeling and be less of a scaredy cat.”

“Okay.”

You took both of his hands and slowly guided him backwards. At the same time, you instructed him to put more weight on one side to change directions. Jeongin was surprisingly stable, and Hyunjin watched proudly as his human suggested that you increase your speed a little.

“See? It’s not bad?” you said. “Keeping balance isn’t that hard, right?”

“Yeah. Also,” he grinned, his meek demeanor completely gone, “we’re holding hands now.”

Your eyes widened as you glanced down at your joined hands, and you let out a delighted gasp. “You sneaky little—” Much to Jeongin’s alarm, you let go and smirked. “If you go past the bench without constantly pushing, I’ll let you hold my hand when you walk me home.”

“Kind of presumptuous of you to assume that I would offer to walk you home,” he teased, resting one foot on the floor. “Or is that what you want me to do?”

“You asked me to lunch with flowers. You were going to.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Then he kicked off, skating past the bench with ease. Still going, he looked over his shoulder and shouted, “Do you want to grab doughnuts before you head home?”

“Watch the lamp!” you yelled as you ran towards him. “Jeongin, stop looking at me and turn around!”

The collision with the lamppost was unavoidable, so Hyunjin simply watched as Jeongin took a flying leap off your board and took a tumble on the concrete. While you fumbled for band aids — Jeongin’s knee was scraped and bloody — Jeongin patted his pockets to check that his phone had not fallen out.

“So doughnuts?” he sheepishly asked.

“Sure. I’ll buy.” You finally found one hidden in the bottom of your backpack along with an alcohol wipe. “Guess you get to hold my hand after all.”

“How are you so prepared?” he asked, nodding to the contents you had unceremoniously dumped out whilst rummaging. “You have tweezers and gauze?”

“My mom made me carry a first-aid kit with me when she found out that I skate to class. It comes in handy.” You ripped open the package. “This might hurt.”

“You can kiss it to feel better.”

You laughed and pressed the alcohol wipe to his knee. “You’re such a flirt, I love it. Does it hurt?”

“Yeah, hurts a lot.”

You opted to kiss the band aid instead, causing Jeongin to pout and Jisung to sigh in relief. When you stuck it onto his skin, Jeongin made a big production of being relieved from pain, which made you laugh and shove him.

“No! She’s in love with him,” Jisung groaned. His wings drooped, and Hyunjin swore his halo actually dimmed when you kept your hands in Jeongin’s after you pulled him up. “Well, Hyunjin, looks like you and I are going to be best friends.”

Hyunjin personally saw no issue with that. Like Jeongin, he had been charmed by your antics and your easygoing nature. Protecting his human’s friends, family, or lovers wasn’t part of Hyunjin’s duty, but he felt compelled to watch over you too.

Because if he were human, he would have fallen in love with you too.

In the midst of his lamenting, Jisung flies down and sits beside him on the roof. His wings are still slightly gray, and Hyunjin strangely begins to feel self-conscious of his pure white ones.

“Didn’t the Archangel forbid you from doing frivolous things?” Jisung says in lieu of a greeting. “I saw you at her apartment earlier.”

“I just wanted to check up on her. Not that I thought you lied,” he hastily adds. “I wanted to see for myself. She’s a little… distraught.”

“She got into a fight with her boyfriend. It’s normal.” When Hyunjin doesn’t reply or even make a sound, he grows concerned. “Is it something else? She’s getting sued, isn’t she? I knew it was going to happen someday. When I find that smug richie-rich, I’m going to—”

“Jeongin broke up with her.”

“What.”

Hyunjin repeats his sentence, trying to block the view of Jeongin’s bedroom with his body. Jisung looks like he’s ready to rain judgement onto him, and while Hyunjin is rather good at his job, he’s not sure if he can hold back an enraged guardian angel. Jisung takes several deep breaths before regaining the little composure he can muster.

“I knew I hated him for a reason. I knew he didn’t deserve her,” he spits out, though the venom in his voice wavers. “Why would he even break up with her? She loved him so much.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “That’s what I want to find out.”

“When you find out, let me know. I’m going to see her now.”

Hyunjin stays on the roof until sunrise. Jeongin sleeps without any trouble, and when he wakes up, he looks fresh-faced, no guilt hanging over his head. Hyunjin feels something inside him cracking apart.

You truly don’t deserve this.

“Do you think they’re going to crash and burn?” Jisung asked as he studied you and Jeongin walking through the park, practically glued to each other’s sides. “I think they’re moving too fast. It’s only been a month.”

Hyunjin really didn’t care about that. As long as you and Jeongin were happy, he was happy. “A month is a pretty long time for them. Mortal lives are short.”

“Exactly. They should be more selective about their life choices.”

Hyunjin only rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to you. You were pointing at the tiny carousel in the middle and tugging at Jeongin’s sleeve. You dragged him over and pushed a coin into the slot for the ride. The lights lit up and a carnival theme played while you struggled to wedge yourself between the saddle of an elephant and the roof of the carousel. Jeongin sat on the edge, beside the tiger, and chuckled at your flailing limbs.

Hyunjin suppressed his own laugh. You were something special. Just last week, the two of you had made it official and started dating. You had done it in the sweetest possible way.

You had taken him to a local skateboarding shop to help him pick out his first board. Once he had chosen one — the ‘one’ being a light blue deck patterned with multicolored doughnuts — the staff at the shop sent him to the back to try it out. Meanwhile, you made the age-old excuse of needing to use the restroom when you were actually getting the flowers you had hidden in the back.

Hyunjin had turned into a pile of fluff when you gave Jeongin the daisy bouquet and asked if he wanted to officially be your boyfriend. You were so earnest. Jeongin playfully pretended to think it over, a feat Hyunjin knew he wouldn’t have been able to do if he were in his position. There were no fireworks or confetti when Jeongin finally said yes, but the staff did clap and cheer. Jisung looked on with contempt. Hyunjin looked on with envy.

“You know,” Jisung abruptly said, snapping Hyunjin back to the present, “when her last boyfriend broke up with her, she had ice cream for dinner for a week.”

“Oh.”

“You see why I’m being wary of him now?”

Hyunjin did, but Jeongin was different. His previous relationships always ended well, and on one occasion, he remained friends with his ex. He sighed and decided that a change of topic was necessary so he wouldn’t have to potentially endure a tirade. “Did you hear about Minho’s human? The bank he worked at got robbed, and he got held at gunpoint.”

That caught the overprotective Jisung’s ear. “What? Is he okay?”

During Hyunjin’s recountment of Minho’s recountment, the carousel ride ended. You squeezed out of your spot, hitting your head on the roof, and Jeongin pulled you in for a forehead kiss. The world grew brighter when you smiled, he realized.

Hyunjin shadows Jeongin around all day, hoping to learn the reason for the breakup. Unfortunately, Jeongin doesn’t say anything. He does show some regret though, as he scrolls through past messages and old pictures. When he heads to classes, he opts to walk instead of skateboarding like usual and avoids the quad whenever possible.

In the evening, while Jeongin is chewing on his salad like a cow to cud, Hyunjin pays you a visit. He finds in the freezer section of the grocery store with three pints of ice cream in your basket. From the looks of it, you’re about to add another three to your haul. Peanut butter pretzel sounds equal parts delicious and confusing.

Hyunjin studies your expression, frowning at the same time you do. Your eyes are ringed with red, your jaw tight, and your eyebrows seem permanently furrowed. When he follows you back home, he half expects you to start crying on the way, but you hold fast and manage to open a pint of the salted caramel flavor before the tears finally come. There’s no wailing, just sniffling and the sound of you furiously wiping at your face with the sleeve of your hoodie. In the midst of it all, you find the strength to reorganize the freezer to make space for the other pints. Something about that makes Hyunjin’s heart drop.

By the time your roommate discovers you in the kitchen, the entire refrigerator has been reorganized and the ice cream finished. You sit in a dark room, your finger hovering above the ‘SEND’ button of a message to Jeongin. Hyunjin can see it if he flies above you: “Can you please just tell me why? You keep saying you did something wrong, but I don’t even know what it is. Please let me decide if it’s worth breaking up over.”

“Rough day?” she gently asks as she flips on the switch.

“Yeah.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Maybe tomorrow. I just wanna process it right now,” you hollowly say. You grab your skateboard — the same black, paint-splattered one you had last year — and unlock the front door. “I’m going out for a ride, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

“Stay safe.”

After you leave, Jisung phases through the kitchen walls and hisses at Hyunjin, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Jeongin?”

He nearly forgot about him. Eating dinner isn’t a dangerous task anyway though. Besides, if Jeongin does get physically harmed somehow, Hyunjin will feel an echo of the pain. Hyunjin glances at the door, and Jisung shakes his head.

“I’ll take care of her. Go back to Jeongin, and make sure he’s okay. You can’t keep leaving him all the time.”

“Fine, I’ll go.”

“Good.”

Hyunjin reluctantly goes back to Jeongin, who is still eating his salad. His resolve from last night is clearly gone as evidenced by his melancholy expression as he scrolls through even more photos. The one of you in mid-air makes him clutch his phone.

“Let me get one of you when you’re really high up,” Jeongin suggested. He was comfortable gliding around on a skateboard now, but nowhere comfortable enough to try any tricks. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from trying to get him to learn. The “pop shove it” was your favorite, solely for the amount of height you could get.

“Okay.”

As you did over and over again for your enthusiastic boyfriend who was unfortunately not that great of a photographer, Hyunjin observed from a rooftop behind Jeongin. Sometimes you looked like you were flying. He could imagine wings protruding from your back, and if the sun hit you just right, there appeared to be a halo as well.

“I got one!” Jeongin exclaimed as he held up his device to you. “Look.”

Hyunjin couldn’t see for himself, but your mouth dropped into an ‘o’ once you took a first glance. A flustered smile made its way onto your face, and everything about you turned soft.

“This looks amazing,” you said. You sidled up to him and rested your cheek against his shoulder, turning your head towards him. “I love you.”

The words hung in the air for a few seconds as both Hyunjin and Jeongin tried to process them. This was the first time you had ever said them, and it came seemingly out of nowhere. Hyunjin recovered first.

“Say ‘I love you’ back, you moron,” Hyunjin whispered, like Jeongin would be able to hear him from this distance. “‘I love you too.’”

“I wanted to say it first,” Jeongin finally said. “Ugh, I had it all planned out too. We were supposed to get doughnuts after this, and I was going to buy you one of those heart-shaped ones.”

You kissed him on the cheek and intertwined your fingers with his. “We can still do that.”

At the doughnut shop, he said the words second, and you kissed him again, leaving a crystal of glaze on the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin licked his lips as if you had left it on him instead.

“Did you find out?” Jisung asks when Hyunjin leaves Jeongin to check up on you. You’re skating around the city, making sharp swerves and weaving in-between lampposts. Jisung is trailing behind you in the sky, but he slows when he sees Hyunjin approaching.

“No, but—”

“Then go back to him. Hyunjin,” Jisung sighs, “I know you care about her, but she’s not your human. Jeongin’s your responsibility.”

“I know but—”

“Go back. And I’m telling you this not as your friend but as your senior. You’re a guardian angel, and you need to take your responsibilities seriously. I’ll get the Archangel involved if I have to. Do you want to get Seungminned?”

The threat of the Archangel strangely doesn’t scare him anymore, however. In fact, the Archangel being involved may solve many of his current issues.

“I’ll find you again when I find out,” Hyunjin slowly says.

Jisung nods in approval before racing after you again. Hyunjin heads to Heaven, not to keep an eye over his human but to become human.

Ten months into Jeongin’s relationship with you, Hyunjin asked Minho, “Is it possible to give up your divinity?”

Minho gave Hyunjin a curious look. “Is being a guardian angel that taxing for you? You haven’t even experienced a full lifespan yet. I know, twenty year-olds are annoying, but it’s not nearly as bad as forty year-olds and their mid-life crisis.”

“I’m just curious. Or, as a last resort,” he added, hoping that Minho would stop being suspicious if he joked about it. “My human’s been making some dumb choices.”

A lie, but Minho fell for it.

“I told you he was going to be a troublemaker!” he cackled. He sympathetically patted Hyunjin’s back. “If I’m being honest, I thought about it a few times. I always get assigned to the troublemakers. Probably because the higher-ups hate me for not tolerating their BS. They’re always playing favorites. Anyway, the easiest way is to get expelled by the Archangel. It’s happened a few times before.”

“Can’t you just ask him?”

Minho smirked. “You don’t think other angels have tried that? He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. It’s supposed to be a punishment.”

“What’s the hard way then?”

“Same thing minus the Archangel getting involved: your wings getting cut off,” he matter-of-factly answered. “The halo will break once your wings are detached. It’s only been done once, by the way.”

Hyunjin absentmindedly rubbed the area where the bones of his wings met with his shoulder blades. All he needed were two clean cuts across his practically impenetrable back.

“How do you do that?”

“With the Archangel’s sword. Another angel has to cut it though; you can’t do it yourself.”

The Archangel would likely banish him to Hell for even asking about his weapon. If Hyunjin ever did manage to steal the sword away, Jisung would never agree to it. He couldn’t just ask any angel to help him.

“How do you know about all this?” Hyunjin asked.

Minho hesitated, something he rarely did. He quickly recovered, hiding his sudden apprehension with his usual devil-may-care nonchalance. “I can’t give away all of my secrets.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Friends. The word hung in the air like the sun, and Hyunjin knew that Minho would tell him because underneath all of his bluster was loneliness. Because no one liked Minho, or if they did, they still avoided him anyway.

“Yeah, we are,” Minho answered, smiling for a second before a strange expression crossed over his face, pride mixed with a touch of sadness. “Do you really think the Archangel would have expelled one of his favorite guardian angels that easily?”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Seungmin. He asked me to cut his wings for him.”  

“I need you to cut my wings,” are Hyunjin’s first words to Minho after not speaking to him for days.

To his credit, Minho is only speechless for a few seconds. The dove in his hand pecks at him for more headpats before he recovers. “Well, do you have the sword?”

“No, but I think I can get it. When I do though, would you do it? You’re the only one I trust.”

Minho sighs and tosses the bird out of Heaven, grimacing a bit when he hears it squawk. When he faces Hyunjin, he smiles the same smile he did when he talked about Seungmin. “It’s always me, huh? I’ll do you one better. I’ll steal the sword for you. The Archangel’s been pissing me off anyway.”

For once, Hyunjin’s thoughts are not on you but his friend. He imagined that Minho would be willing, but perhaps he’s too willing. “Are you trying to get expelled as well? We can go together.”

“No, I like being immortal. I hate all of the BS I get put through sometimes, but the Archangel can’t kick me out. He swore an oath to me a long time ago before he got promoted, and it’s pretty much unbreakable. Besides, even Heaven needs a scapegoat.”

That explains why virtually no angels interact with Minho, Hyunjin being the exception. He has never heard of the Archangel being oathsworn, though it seems likely that the Archangel wants to keep that a secret.

“How are you going to get it?” Hyunjin asks. “How did Seungmin even get it? The Archangel always has it with him.”

“Seungmin was one of his favorites,” Minho reminds him. “He had easy access to him, and the Archangel trusted him enough to let him borrow it for ‘a study.’ Don’t worry about me though. Just wait for me on Earth. Somewhere where no one goes. I’ll find you, slice off your wings, and the Archangel won’t even know what happened to you.”

“That’s not possible. He always keeps it on him.”

Minho shrugs, a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve done it before. Why do you think I’m the scapegoat?”

Seungmin. For Minho and now Hyunjin, being Seungminned didn’t mean being expelled for being frivolous anymore; it meant leaving of your own accord.

“What happened to him?” Hyunjin asked. “Why didn’t the Archangel grant his divinity back? Someone should have spotted him on Earth.”

Minho’s wry grin was back. “You think the Archangel wanted everyone to find out the golden boy of Heaven no longer wanted to be an angel? Plenty of angels already saw him roaming Earth. It was easier to let everyone think that Seungmin was banished. So when they saw him on Earth, he was just a fallen angel, nothing important.” He nudged Hyunjin’s arm, and the solemn atmosphere vanished. “A troublemaking human isn’t all that bad. Like I said, the twenties are annoying, but they’re manageable. Is he one of those partying types?”

“He goes out sometimes,” Hyunjin carefully replied. Jeongin liked hanging out with his friends and you — mostly you, now that Hyunjin thought about it — but he wasn’t getting blackout drunk every night. At least, Hyunjin hoped he wasn’t. He usually watched over you if you were ever in the vicinity. “Speaking of which, I should check up on him.”

Minho said his goodbyes, and Hyunjin flew back to Earth once he saw that you weren’t with Jeongin. You were studying at your desk, rolling a pen between your fingers, reading through a document on your laptop. The desk light casted a warm glow on your face. You frowned, and your lower lip swelled outwards.

He wished he were human.

Just as Minho said, Hyunjin waits for him to arrive in a secluded part of the university campus. The building rooftop is devoid of anyone, and the area surrounding it is empty as well. The evening turns into night, then night into the early morning when the sky begins lightening. Still, Minho has not come.

He distantly wonders how Jeongin is faring and his promise to Jisung. When he’s human, he’ll ask Jeongin directly, maybe in disguise of a survey: “Why did you break up with your last partner?” Even to him, it sounds stupid. However, that’s not the real reason why he’s giving up his divinity, so it hardly matters to him. Jisung is resourceful; he’ll find out eventually.

Finally, when the sun peeks over the horizon, Minho descends from Heaven, a familiar silver sword in his hand. He lands beside Hyunjin, a triumphant smile on his face. But his usual humor has been replaced with solemnity.

“You’re sure about this?” he asks as he rests the blade on the top of Hyunjin’s wings.

He has never felt so sure of anything in his life. “Yes.”

“It’s going to hurt.”

“Then make it quick.”

Searing pain shoots through his body as the sword pierces through the thin skin and into the bone. The process is not as nearly as seamless as Hyunjin hoped it would be, and Minho breathes heavily as he pushes the blade down. Bones snap, feathers drift to the floor, and blood trickles down his back. The pain only grows greater near the end, but Hyunjin grits his teeth and keeps quiet. Dawn breaks when his wings finally fall to the floor, no longer white but splattered with red. Soon they fade into dust, and the remnants scatter into the wind. His golden halo shatters into sunlight. The world dulls as the last of his powers disappear, but everything feels much better than when he was an angel.

“Thank you,” he whispers to Minho, who he cannot even look at anymore. His eyes would be burned.

“You’re fallen, not quite mortal and not quite divine. You won’t be affected by all of an angel’s power.”

When Hyunjin cautiously glances at him, Minho waves the bloody sword at him. “See?”

“Yeah.” He wanted humanity, but this is good enough for him. He just needs you to be able to see him, hear him, touch him.

“I need to go back before Heaven becomes Hell, but find Seungmin if you can. He can help you figure things out. Last I heard, he’s living somewhere in the mountains.”

“Thank you,” he repeats. “Minho, I can’t even put it into words about how much this means to me. Thank you for everything you’ve done.”

Minho pats his shoulder before stripping off his clean shirt. “Clean yourself before you leave. No one wants to witness a walking crime scene this early in the morning.”

When he flies back to Heaven, the last thing Hyunjin sees are his wings, still pure white.

“Hey,” you said as you laced your fingers with Jeongin’s. He had just finished class, and you had waited for him outside the building. Hyunjin had sat on the other end of the bench, savoring the proximity. That was the closest he would ever get to you. “Are you busy tonight? The skate shop just announced — literally an hour ago, those jerks — that they were doing a midnight drop, and I kind of want a new deck.”

“Ugh, I’ve been meaning to buy new trucks, but I have to meet up with my group tonight. Send me pictures though.”

Disappointment only momentarily flooded through Hyunjin. If it was anything like the last two meetups, it would be at the library, and the library was a safe place. Jeongin would be fine there. Hyunjin would be free to shadow you as you went to the skate shop.

“I can get it for you,” you offered.

He shook his head. “It’s fine. Maybe I’ll just wait for a sale.”

“Don’t be surprised if I do get you new trucks,” you warned. You let go of his hand and held his arm. “I still owe you for last month’s dinner.”

Jeongin shook his head again, a smile making its way onto his face. “You don’t owe me anything but a kiss.”

“Flirt,” you laughed as you pressed your lips to his cheek. “Never change, Yang Jeongin.”

That night at the skate shop, Hyunjin hovered above you as you stood in line, chatting with others. There were no unscrupulous characters around, but he stayed with you, only going back to Jeongin when Jisung insisted. However, by then, Hyunjin had already seen you eyeing the shiny teal trucks through the window. Hyunjin knew nothing about skateboards even after all those months, but you seemed pleased by them.

“You’re only getting trucks for sure?” your brand new acquaintance asked. “This is, like, the biggest drop they’ve ever done.”

You shrugged. “I’m kind of on the fence about the decks I saw on the email. I don’t know. Maybe wheels too?”

Meanwhile, Jisung hissed, “Hyunjin, go before something happens. What if a fight breaks out?”

Hyunjin sincerely doubted that one would happen at the library. He lingered around, taking his time unfolding his wings and stretching them.

“Your boyfriend’s lucky,” your acquaintance sighed.

“Nah, I’m the lucky one.”

Daisies, that’s what he needs right now. Choosing the rooftop of a building was not a smart decision, but the access door is thankfully unlocked, and Hyunjin races down all of the emergency stairs. However, with no form of currency on him, Hyunjin heads to the quad, hoping that he can pull up some dandelions for you. You need to be supported, and bright yellow flowers are just the thing.

What he doesn’t expect though, is to find you doing pop shove its at your usual spot. It’s so early in the day; did you even go back to your apartment to sleep?

“Good morning,” he calls as he walks closer. He waves at you, and you can see him! You tentatively wave back and give him a halfhearted smile. “How are you today? You look beautiful.”

“Thanks, and I’m fine,” you politely reply as you take a step back away from him. “What about you?”

Hyunjin curses in his head and takes another step towards you. “I’m good. Really good, actually. I was wondering if you could teach me how to skateboard. I’m new here, and skateboarding seems like an efficient way to get around.”

You flinch at his words, and he desperately wants to take them back. How did Jeongin do it? Why do his statements come out so stiff? “You seem pretty good at it.”

“Are you not cold?” you blurt out. Hyunjin curses again as he realizes that he’s shirtless. His old one was stained, and Minho’s was as well as the result of his cleanup. This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. “You know, I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you.”

“Hyunjin. My name’s Hyunjin.”

“Nice meeting you, Hyunjin.”

You grab your board and immediately head off to the direction of your apartment. Hyunjin is tempted to follow, but he stays where he is. A bad first impression isn’t the end of the world. The only thing holding him back is his lack of a shirt.

He wanders through the quad, scanning the grass for some flowers. Most of them are the white, fluffy dandelions, but he needs the bright yellow version. However, he takes the white ones anyway in case he can’t find any. The wind scatters the seeds, and he—  

“Hyunjin, I told you not to come back.”

Jisung.

Hyunjin turns around, dropping his bouquet onto the ground. To his horror, not only is Jisung present but also the Archangel. His sword is strapped to his side like usual, not a blood splatter tainting it. Minho did an excellent job of cleaning up the crime scene.

“Jisung, Archangel,” Hyunjin nervously greets. The Archangel frightens him now. “How can I help you?”

“Jisung, why did you bring me here?” the Archangel asks. “I have other things to attend to.”

“He’s abandoned his human too many times, and I don’t think he’s fit to be a guardian angel anymore.”

The Archangel grasps the hilt of his sword and studies Hyunjin, up and down, back and forth. He circles him, and Hyunjin can almost feel his mortality-divinity shining through his body. Jisung hasn’t noticed yet, but there is no doubt the Archangel hasn’t.

“Normally,” the Archangel begins, “the punishment for not fulfilling your duties as a guardian angel is being expelled from Heaven. But you have already fallen.”

“What?” comes Jisung’s shocked voice.

“It was a mistake,” Hyunjin tries. Minho’s words ring in his ear: He only expels the ones who don’t want to be. “I thought I wanted humanity, but I’ve realized that being a guardian angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Please. Grant me my divinity back. I will never abandon my human again. I will swear an oath if I have to.”

The Archangel smiles with no teeth, and a chill runs down Hyunjin’s spine. “I’m in a forgiving mood today, so I will do just as you ask. Your divinity will be granted back, but you will no longer be a guardian angel. I’m stripping you of those powers and those duties. You will be replaced immediately. It was my mistake for tasking you with such a large responsibility when you weren’t ready yet.”

With just a snap of the Archangel’s fingers, Hyunjin’s senses sharpen, and the world comes hurtling at him. Nothing is dull anymore, but everything feels so dark and wrong. You will never be able to see him, hear him, or talk to him again. And he will never be able to either. Power surges inside of him, and new wings burst through his shoulder blades, fanning out once they reappear. A silver halo hangs over his head. There is no physical pain into becoming immortal again, yet he wishes there was something. Everything he and Minho did was erased with ease.

Hyunjin swallows the lump in his throat. “Thank you,” he chokes out.

“You’re very welcome. Come along now. Only guardian angels are allowed to be on Earth.”

Hyunjin follows the Archangel back to Heaven while Jisung goes after you. The Archangel loudly deliberates on who he should be replaced with, and Hyunjin knows that his request was not granted with kindness. The Archangel informs that he will be a messenger again. Hyunjin barely hears him as he takes one last look at Earth. Jeongin is there. Jisung is there. You are there.

Hyunjin avoids Minho’s eyes as he flies inside the realm behind the Archangel and hides among the rest of the regular angels until he is called to send a message. The higher-ups recognize him, make snide remarks about his demotion, and make pitiful faces at him. He barely registers them. There is a hollowness in him, and no matter how many memories he recalls, it isn’t enough to fill the void.

A few weeks later, Jisung approaches him, but even he stays a healthy distance away. “Hyunjin.” The disdain is clear.

“Jisung.”

“You knew about the reason all along, didn’t you? You were there when it happened.”

“When what happened?”

Realization dawns upon Jisung, and he shakes his head in disgust. “I should have known. You weren’t with him that night because you left him like you always did! You could have done something. Make him fall off his chair or something. Make the girl lose her balance. Instead, both of our humans suffered because you weren’t there.”

“What happened?”

“A girl from his group project randomly kissed him, and he thought he had been leading her on and cheating on his own girlfriend, so he broke up with her because he thought that would be the right thing to do instead of just telling her what actually happened. They’re back together now because he finally got the nerve to give her closure. It took nearly a month. They were miserable for a month. All because of you.”

It stings. “They’re okay now, right?”

“They’re fine, no thanks to you.” Just when Hyunjin thinks he’s going to leave, he takes a step forward, lips curled into sneer. “You know, angels and humans aren’t allowed to be with each other. It’s been forbidden for millenia.”

“I know,” he whispers. “But I loved her, and I had to try.”

“She would have never chosen you anyway.”

He never had a chance, did he?

~ ad.gray

Yes, you did! I remembered it and wondered if you were going to come back! Hope you enjoyed this! <3

[iwalc]

Surprise- Brian May x Reader

It was late. You sat on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful, incredible life. 2 years ago, 3 years into your marriage with Brian, you decided to have a child, a token of your love for each other. It was a rough start. There were numerous times where it didn't work at all, other times when you peed on the stick, soon after seeing a positive test, the excitement was immense and when you told Brian he got so excited, all of this to then be broken by the news of miscarriage. It broke the both of you but somehow you still managed to carry on. And for the reward of not giving in you could finally tell Brian once again that you were pregnant, and that time, all went well. In August 1980 you could finally give birth to a bouncing baby girl. It was a strange feeling, suddenly the gravity of your universe shifted and everything revolved around this tiny human, the beautiful Amanda that you and your husband, the love of your life had created and would cherish forever.

You had Brian, your beautiful girl Amanda, you had a beautiful and warm atmosphere you could call home, and there was nothing more that you wanted in life. Until a few months ago.

Your husband had started to secretly give you hints until he finally sat down with you and spat it out.

"Love?" he called silently since Amanda was sleeping, from the living room as you were in the bathroom catching up some laundry. "Yes, gorgeous" you answered just as you accomplished the task at hand. "Could you come here for a minute, there is something I'd like to talk to you about", "Ofc, I'll just wash my hands first". You thought about it as you washed your hands in the warm water. It must be something that's been on his mind for a while since whenever it's something ordinary he just spits it out, out of nowhere. You were curious.

When you walked towards the living room you saw him sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands. This worried you quite a bit. "Hey, what's up?" you asked as you sat down next to him, your hand automatically landing on his thigh. "I uh, I... There is something that's been on my mind" he started, looking down at his feet signalling his nervousness. "Well, I figured, I've noticed there's been something on your mind lately, but I didn't want to push you into talking with me if you didn't feel ready to." you gently said as you squeezed his tight gently. "I haven't found the right time to tell you and talk to you about it" he continued. "I want to know what's on your mind, love" you answered, really wanting to know. He turned his head to look at you for a moment, his curls falling off his shoulder, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want me to just spit it out or with some background information?" he asked chuckling a bit, "Do you think background information will be necessary?" you asked him smiling while adoring his beautiful features. His hazel, soft eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his jawline, his beautiful dark curls framing his gorgeous face. "No, not really. I uhm", "Brian, love, I know you are nervous but it's just me, spit it out", "I want another baby Y/N" he blurted out, waiting worriedly for your reaction, a small smile daring to tug at his lips. You were quite shocked, to be honest, it wasn't what you thought your husband had been thinking so much about. "You know Amanda is growing quickly, she's almost 2 years old now and I uhm, it would be nice to give her some company and" he didn't get to finish his explanation because of you interrupting him with a kiss. Taking him by surprise.

It was a brilliant idea. It made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pulled back from the passionate kiss, seeing his chocked state made you laugh. He smiled at you, adoration poured into the gaze that reached your face. "I'd love to expand our family and have another child with you!" you squeaked, flying into his arms, which in turn led to chuckles escaping Brian's throat. The sound filled your heart and once again you thought about how perfect your life had become. You were so in love with everything, but most importantly Amanda and Brian.

The way he got so excited. The way his hazel eyes got deeper with adoration and excitement. The way his smile reached his eyes. The way he hugged you, telling you how happy you made him, how in love he was with you and to share his life with you. The way he existed. Your heart ached with love for this man.

And that day, it was set, you were going to try for a new baby. It wasn't always easy, already having a child to take care of, as well as Brians sometimes strange working schedule. However, to you, it was quite obvious it had worked. You were experiencing some symptoms, which reminded you of your first pregnancy: Absent period, hormonal imbalance, tender breasts, bloated, nausea in the mornings. Even Brian noticed some changes:

You had just gotten out of a late-night shower and were just going to change into your pyjama shirt when Brian suddenly commented something you found very strange. "Love, have you been missing your period?" he blurted out. This was something you never ever thought he'd ever think of, never the less keep track off. You turned around to stare at him, "Yes, in fact, I have, why?". "No, I was just thinking, I reckon you told me last month that we had to buy more pads and tampons til' this time, but neither of us has bought any and you have been feeling quite fine compared to how you use to feel when the time of the month comes around." he said like it was nothing, you just starred at him incredulously, at awe of the attention he had paid. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked as his face fell. "No, no you didn't. I'm just amazed by the attention you pay to those kinds of things. I wasn't prepared for the question nor the explanation for it." you said and chuckled as you dragged the shirt over your head. Walking to the bed you smiled to yourself, wow, what a man. As you buried yourself under the quilt, snuggling up to Brian who gladly put his arm around you he blurted out another incredulous comment. "I also can't help to notice that your breast has gotten bigger". You laughed at the comment. "I don't know if they're bigger, but tender they definitely are. How do you notice all of these things?" you couldn't help but ask as you looked up at him. "Well, I don't know, I guess I just do. And I've known you for about ten years now, and we've been together for almost eight of those. I would like to say I know you very well" he stated. "Well yes, you definitely do, and I love you for it!" you said as you reached up for a kiss, he chuckled a bit and smiled into the kiss.

Brian didn't ask anything after that, you know he had his suspicions but neither of you wanted to get the hopes up too early, regarding all of the tries before Amanda. However, after emptying your stomach one morning, you decided that it would be time to take a test. Brian couldn't be with you this time since he had work at the studio that had to be done, and since Amanda was spending time with her grandparents, Ruth and Harold, you figured it would be a perfect time. Since Brian wasn't home, nor did he know you were going to take a test, you decided to keep it a secret until you knew the result and decided to take it from there.

You had pregnancy tests laying around in a draw in the bathroom. You took one, peed on it, and while waiting for a result you went to eat some breakfast. Coming back to the bathroom to look at the test, you suddenly became very nervous, you really wanted it to be positive! You would hate to break the news to Brian, telling him that it was negative and that the symptoms had been a result of something else. You took a deep breath and grabbed the test. You slowly turned it around, feeling the nervousness clearly increase. All the fear suddenly washed away, it was positive.

Suddenly you felt all the emotions in the world all at once. Tears started to drip from your eyes as you smiled like crazy. The excitement was a fact which resulted in several exited screams and runs throughout the house. If anyone could see you they'd probably think you'd be crazy. But you didn't care because you were the happiest. You had more than you would ever wish for.

Before taking the test you were thinking about waiting to tell Brian until you've seen a doctor etc but now, there was no way you could make that happen. You tried not to call Brian at the studio to tell him. Instead, you rushed to the phone and decided to call Ruth and Harold.

It felt like it took forever before anyone picked up the phone. "The May household" you heard Harold answer. "Hi Harold, it's Y/N, how are you?", "Hello Dear, I'm fine thank you, how are you?" he asked, he sounded happy, it warmed your heart. You contemplated whether telling them or waiting. Apparently, you had been quiet for too long, "Is everything alright?" he seriously asked. You hesitated a bit, "Yeah, I uhm I think so", "You doesn't sound too sure about that dear, would you like to talk to Ruth?", "That would be nice, thank you, Harold". Harold was a great grandad and a wonderful father in law, however, you had always had a better connection towards Ruth.

You heard Harold calling for Ruth and some muffled noises. "Hello dear!" you heard Ruth's voice cheering through. "Hello Ruth, how are you? And Amanda?" you gently asked, not really levelling with her enthusiasm. "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. Amanda just ate some soup, so she's full and satisfied" she laughed. "That's great! I hope you're all having a good time and that she's behaving" you chuckled. "Oh dear, don't worry, she's the best!" you chuckled as an answer. "Now, Y/N, will you tell me what's wrong?", "I uhm, I was wondering if I could pick Amanda up a bit earlier than planned? Like today?", it was quiet for some time before she answered. "Oh, well yes of course you can! Is there something wrong?" she asked. "No, I don't think so at least" you chuckled, "I just want her home for tonight when Brians getting home.", "Y/N, I'm sorry but I can see right through you, there is something on your mind.", "Well yes, there are, I just don't know if I want to tell you before I tell Brian.", "Oh" and with this, you knew she understood. "Ok, I think you know by now anyway, I uhm, I'm..... pregnant, and I wanted to" you didn't get to finish your sentence because there was a scream on the other end and it made you laugh. "Oh my heavens, Congratulations!! I am so happy for you two!" she almost screamed. "Don't get too excited Ruth, it's still pretty early" you voiced your fears. "Oh dear, I understand your fear, I really do, but it will be alright in the end, I promise!", at this you got emotional, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you sniffled, "Oh love, It will be alright! We'll pack Amandas things and then we'll be right over, okay?", "Okay" you sniffled, "Thank you Ruth!", "No worries dear!", "Ruth before you begin packing things up, you don't have too, you can have her back tonight or tomorrow if you want.", "That sounds nice if it's alright with you two, but I guess you would appreciate some time alone to talk and everything, so we'll happily come and pick her up tomorrow again!", "That sounds great, I know she loves being with you two! I won't hold you up any longer, see you soon then", "Yes darling, see you soon!"

You took a deep breath. Wow. This was a rollercoaster.

You were so happy and so appreciative for Ruth and Harold. Brian and Harold haven't always been on great terms but the last year things have been amazing between them and both Harold and Ruth have always been amazing towards you. They are great, amazing! And there is no wonder why Brian is so great.

---

You were in the bedroom and looking for a specific body that Amanda had, knowing that Brian would know exactly when he saw it, when you heard knock on the front door. You quickly ran downstairs and opened to great your baby and parents in law.

"Hi," you both said at the same time as you opened the door. Ruth walked inside first and greeted you with a big smile, embracing you in a hug only a mother could. "You look great!" she happily said as her hands went to your cheeks, you chuckled a bit "Thanks, I don't feel great" you laughed, hoping not to get further questions. Harold stepped inside and handed you your baby girl, oh you had missed her. "Hi baby," you said in a squealing voice before showering her in kisses, making her laugh. Harold walked up to you, and to your surprise leaned in for a hug, he's not a hugging person normally, you gently hugged him and received a happy congratulations wish. "I'm happy for you both," he said, "Thank you so much, Harold," you said and gave him a joyous smile, just as you also felt tears streaming down. "Oh wow, I'm a mess" you laughed as you brushed the tears off. "No worries dear, I was the same when I was expecting Brian" she laughed and Harold agreed, not pleased with the recall of memories. You all broke down in laughs.

You welcomed them inside and as always they made themselves feel at home as you served some tea and biscuits. Ruth was playing with Amanda on the sofa. "Has she taken her nap today?" you asked as you saw how Amanda started to get cranky and sleepy. "No she hasn't, she was about to fall asleep in the car on our way here but we thought it was better to keep her awake so she could sleep here.", "Maybe we should go take a nap, baby girl," you said as you approached them on the sofa. Suddenly, Harold stood up, "I can take her to nap, if that's ok?" he asked, "Yes of course," you said as you walked and picked Amanda up and handed her to Harold. "I'll be upstairs with the bottle in a minute," you said as you walked to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.

---

Amanda was happily asleep upstairs and Ruth and Harold had just left. However, before they left they handed me a little box and you thought that now would be a good time opening it. Inside you could see a yellow shirt, in Amanda's size. When you unfolded the soft material you saw the cutest thing. The shirt had "Promoted Big Sister" embroidered on the front. You chuckled slightly as an idea about how to reveal the news to Brian popped up in your head.

This will be perfect.

---

Amanda was seated in her chair as you finished up the rest of the dinner. For the occasion, you had made Brians favourite dinner.

You had been so distracted by the food that you hadn't heard Brian coming home. You only noticed when Amanda squealed when she saw him entering the large kitchen. You turned around and was treated by a sight that could melt your heart a thousand times over. Brians had picked her up and were showing her with hugs and kisses, making the baby girl let out belly laughs. You felt how you were about to cry but quickly turned around again to brush them away.

Brian put Amanda back in her chair for a moment and approached you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips brushed against your neck and kissed your temple. "Hi" you gently voiced. "Hello, love," he said and kept kissing your cheek. "It smells delicious," he said and placed one last kiss on your ear. "It's your favourite," you said and put down the spatula to turn around and greet him properly. "I noticed, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his hands placed on your waist. "nothing special" you lied. "How was your day?" you asked as you leaned in for a hug, hugging his waist, his hands brushing your back. You could smell his cologne, feel his arms tightening around you. "It was okay, nothing special," he said, his voice low. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. One of his hands stroke some hair behind your ear to then cup your cheek. "How was your day? And why's Amanda home, shouldn't she be at my parents?", "They came to visit earlier and I wanted her home, but she's going back tomorrow," you said as you adored his face. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was like nothing else, your whole body tingled. You felt the excitement again.

The dinner was nothing special. Brian kept complimenting the food, which warmed your heart. Throughout the whole dinner, you just kept adoring the little family you have and the excitement to reveal that one more was on the way kept getting stronger and you were growing impatient.

Amanda played with a rattle toy while you and Brian both cleaned up after the dinner, stealing hugs and kisses here and there.

When the kitchen was done cleaning you honestly felt exhausted, and Brian, being the wonderful husband he is, sensed that. He walked up to you and kissed your forehead as he hugged you. "You go sit down and relax and I'll take care of Manda" he said and kissed you again. "Thank you" you whispered.

Brian kissed you once more and walked excitedly towards Amanda, "Come here baby girl, it's time for jammies" he said as he picked her up and threw her up in the air, making her laugh once again. You felt at peace and happy as you saw them giggling, making their way down to the nursery.

It was getting quite late. You sat down on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful incredible life. And the excitement for the news Brian is left to find out is very much evident.

You couldn't focus on reading the book, you just sat there biting you lip slightly and listening to what was happening in the nursery. You heard Brian talk to Manda and her giggles. Until it all stopped.

Silent took over the house, the only thing you could hear was Mandas joller and the fire in the fireplace.

"Love?" Brian called for you. You didn't answer, you wanted to see his reaction without you interfering to early. "Y/N" he almost shouted. Silence took over again.

Apparently, he grabbed Amanda and the shirt he had discovered and worked to the living room. "What is this?" he said, trying to hide his excitement if it weren't true. "It's a new shirt I bought for Manda" you chuckled. He looked so confused. His eyes went from looking on Amanda, to the shirt, to you. "What?" he blurted out, confusion written all over him. You rose up from the sofa and approached him. He had put Amanda down on the floor as he inspected the shirt.

You walked towards him and when there was almost no space between you he looked up at you, studied your expression. You smiled and took the shirt out of his hands and folded it and put it on the table. You walked up to him again and smiled. He tilted his head a bit, once again showing his confusion. You took his hands and brought them up to kiss them and then placed them gently on your lower stomach to get the message through. He caught on immediately. His eyes widened and he let out a breath. "Ooh my lord" he breathed as he adjusted his hands slightly, his gaze fixated on your belly. You chuckled and once again felt tears forming in your eyes. "I'm pregnant, Brian" you said smiling as the tears ran down your cheeks. He looked up at you and a smile spread across his face, "Really?" he asked as he looked at you. "Yes, I took three tests and all of them was positive".

Brian moved his hands and embraced you in a loving, comforting hug. His head was placed in the curve of your neck, his hands wrapped around you, your hands on his back, feeling his warmth, feeling the soft curls against your cheek. What you discovered next melted your heart. You heard sniffles coming from Brian.

You broke the embrace and looked at him, your hands holding his cheeks, your thumbs brushing away the tears, as more tears streamed from your eyes. You both were crying out of happiness, and soon enough you were both laughing. Brian held your waist, "Oh boy I love you!" he said as he laughed and kissed you. "I love you more" you gently said, looking into his hazel eyes. "Thank you" he then said as a wave of more tears streamed down his rosy cheeks. He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "I.. I don't even know what to say. I love you so much and there is no other I'd want to share my life with. You make me happy, you're keeping me on track, you are my universe. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you! You have given me the best gift of live already once, and now again. I... I'm speechless. I love you so much! And I am so excited" he laughed. "I am so excited. Im so excited for all that the future has to bring us. To see Amanda grow up, to see this little bean grow" he placed his hands on your stomach, "I love you, so much!" he started to cry again. This hit you hard. How did you end up with this fantastic man? If only you could show him how much you meant to him so he could really understand.

"Baby, I love you! So much! And I am so happy. I have more than I could ever have asked for. I have a wonderful husband, who's also my best friend. You cheer me up when I'm down, you comfort me when I'm sad, you laugh with me when I'm happy. I am so glad and grateful that I get to share my life with you too. I love you so much it hurts!" you said and kissed his swollen, red lips to then hug him tight.

You were so excited for what the future would bring. You would never want to do this with anyone else. This was perfect.

--------------------

I hope you liked this one! I surely do! If you guys want maybe I could build this story further, maybe to follow them throughout the pregnancy or something? Let me know what you think!

[storiesforallfandoms]

comparisons ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2195

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Colson Baker one where you’re dating after him and Megan where you get a bunch of hate and they both defend you against the hate please”

description: when her boyfriend’s ex is one of the most beautiful actresses of this generation, she finds herself being constantly compared to her and receiving hateful messages

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, hate messages, insecurities

masterlist (one, two)

There was some sort of assumption that when you start dating someone, you immediately hate their ex. That could not be further from the truth for me and Colson. In fact, Colson’s ex-girlfriend introduced us shortly after their break up, and had constantly pushed for the two of us to get together.

Megan was basically the backbone in our friendship. She pushed me to pursue my dreams in acting (as well as helped you with that since she was so much more famous than you were when you started), then she pushed me to start auditioning for bigger roles. The moment she introduced me to Colson, I knew exactly what was coming next.

“That’s weird, Meg,” I had told her. “Isn’t there, like, a girl code about dating your best friend’s ex?”

“I’m literally shoving you onto him,” she had responded. “I think you’re fine with the girl code.”

A few months after meeting, I finally caved and asked Colson out on a date. Six months later, I was still thanking Megan for giving me that push.

Shortly after making our relationship public, however, the happiness slowly came to a stop. For me, anyways. Colson, bless his heart, was blissfully ignorant to the comments his fanbase started to send me.

“yikes, he really downgraded huh?”

“how do you go from megan fox to...that?”

“guess mgk couldn’t keep up his streak of hot girlfriends”

Hate comes with fame, I knew that. I had my fair share of hate comments ever since the start. It was easy to ignore them when they were just a handful of hate comments here and there, but this was different. This was a bombardment of hate that was so heavy I could barley go online.

Colson was oblivious for a while, until he found out I had deleted all my social media accounts.

“Did you delete your Instagram babe?” he asked the minute he got home the day I had done it.

“Yeah,” I responded, nonchalantly. “I deleted all my social media.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I just thought it’d be better for me mentally. They say being so attached to social media is bad for you or whatever.”

“But you weren’t even addicted to social media. You just liked sharing your memories - our memories.”

I shrugged again and turned back to my cooking. I wasn’t about to tell him his fans drove me off the internet. He loved his fans, I couldn’t fuck that up for him, even if what they were saying hurt me so much.

My back was to him as I cooked, so he couldn’t see my reaction when he asked, “Is it because people were comparing you to Megan?”

I froze completely. I could feel his eyes staring into the back of my head, but I just couldn’t convince myself to turn around to face him. I knew that if I did, I’d crack. I had gone too long pretending everything was okay, keeping this secret from Colson, to finally let it slip now. I just had to throw him off of his thought process.

“Where did you get that idea?” I asked, trying to keep my voice light.

He was next to me suddenly, holding his phone up so I could see it. On the screen was a picture of me at a red carpet just below a headline that read “(Y/F/N) deletes social media accounts amid hateful comments from boyfriend Machine Gun Kelly’s fans”.

I sighed in frustration. Of course the tabloid vultures had already written articles about it. I had only done it a few hours earlier, but they always had to be the first ones to write another story about me.

“I didn’t even know I was getting hate,” I said, trying to keep up the lie even though it was pretty obvious I had been found out. “I just decided to delete my accounts, it must be a coincidence.”

“Really? Because this article says you were receiving so much hate that you couldn’t even go into the comments on your pictures or replies on your tweets without seeing a mass amount of hate from my fans.”

I turned off the stove and turned around suddenly, abandoning my cooking completely as I quickly walked out of the kitchen and towards mine and Colson’s room. I felt a lump forming in my throat, and the last thing I wanted was for Colson to see me cry.

I wasn’t shocked to hear his footsteps coming after me. I forgot how much longer his legs were than mine, so it didn’t take long for him to catch up with me and stop me before I could get too far away. He took hold of my arm and turned me around to look at him. The moment my eyes landed on his face, it felt like someone had finally broke the dam holding back my tears.

Colson pulled me in for a hug and held me tightly as I sobbed into his chest. Every ounce of overwhelming feelings I had been bottling up for months was finally starting to come out, and I realized it was long overdue when I eventually began to grow tired from my crying.

I felt Colson pick me up and bring me to his bed. My eyes were starting to grow heavy despite how much I was fighting against them to stay awake. The minute my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

I wasn’t sure how long I was asleep, but it was obvious I had needed that rest, because when I woke up again I felt more well rested than I had in a long time.

I opened my eyes to find myself facing the window, which helped me to pinpoint that it was now nighttime as the sky was pitch black. I rolled over, expecting to find Colson asleep next to me only to find that I was alone in his bed. I was confused at first, forgetting the events that happened mere hours earlier.

I could hear a distant voice talking and was able to identify it as Colson’s. I got up from his bed and made my way towards the stairs, hearing it get louder as I stood at the top.

“I wish she would’ve told me,” he was saying. “I don’t know why she would’ve kept this a secret from me.”

“She didn’t want you upset with your fans,” came another voice. This one was distorted like it was coming from a phone. When she spoke again, I realized it was Megan’s voice. “And she’s stubborn. She was probably determined to deal with this by herself.”

“I just hate that she felt that way,” Colson sighed. “I don’t want her believing anything any of those people said to her, but I saw screenshots and fuck...they really did just bombard her with hate.”

“I know, but none of us could’ve predicted this. Your fans were so cool with us dating, I thought they’d love (Y/N) since we’re so similar.”

I sat down on the top of the stairs and peeked down enough that I could see Colson without him seeing me. He was laid out on the couch in just his sweat pants. In his hand he was holding his phone up, the other was slung over the back of his couch. I could see the guilt on his face, which broke my heart to see. I didn’t want Colson feeling guilty for something that was out of his control.

“You think what I posted will do anything?” he asked Megan.

“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell. When people want to hate, they just want to hate.”

Hearing that Colson had posted something made me curious. I felt around my pants for my phone, but realized I had probably left it in the room or downstairs somewhere. I was in too deep now to give myself away, but I really wanted to know what he had posted about the situation.

“Thanks for talking to me about this, Megan,” he said.

“Of course, Colson. Anytime.”

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Colson tossed his phone onto the coffee table and put his arm under his head. “Are you gonna come down babe?”

I wanted to ask how he knew I was there, but instead I stood from my spot and made my way down the stairs. When I entered the living room, Colson just looked up at me for a moment, almost expectantly. I smiled down at him and laid on top of him with my head on his chest. The arm that was over the back of the couch wrapped around me and he gently kissed the top of my head.

“How much did you hear?” he asked.

“Just the last bit,” I admitted. “Something about a post you made.”

Colson hummed, his chest vibrating underneath my ear as he did. “I wanted to address the issue, and I knew you wouldn’t let me do it if you were awake.”

“I still don’t like that you did it now,” I said, half joking. “Can I see the post?”

He moved his head to look down at me. “How do I know you’re not going to delete the post?”

“You don’t,” I responded. “You’ll just have to trust me.”

He smiled and reached over to grab his phone from the coffee table. He opened it and pulled up a post he had made on Instagram: it was your usual white background with text post you saw celebrities make from time to time.

It read:

“I love my fans so much. You guys are my EST family, and I’m so proud of this family that we have built over the last few years. However, it came to my attention today that some of you have been less than nice to my girlfriend to a point where she felt the need to delete her social media accounts. I will admit, I was oblivious to this at first as I am not one to go onto other people’s social media to read comments and replies, and (Y/N) kept this to herself instead of telling me about it. But now that I do know, I have to say I am beyond pissed. (Y/N) is the most beautiful girl I have ever met, inside and out. She is not Megan, and honestly - with all respect to Megan - I’m glad that she’s not. I love Megan as a friend, but truly that’s all she is to me. (Y/N) is my soulmate, the love of my life. These comparisons and jabs at her because she isn’t my ex are absolutely disgusting, especially coming from people who claim they love me as much as you guys do. Please learn how to treat the people in my life with love and respect, or else take my face out of your profile pictures and my name out of your usernames/bios as you are not a true fan of mine. From the bottom of my heart, fuck you to anyone that made my girlfriend feel like shit.”

I scrolled down to see the comments and saw that the top one was from Megan, and was already liked by Colson.

“(Y/N) is not my competition, nor is she my enemy. She is my friend and she has been since before Colson and I were ever together. The fact that people feel the need to pit two women against one another just because they both dated the same person is absolutely appalling to me. I’d like to emphasis Colson’s statement - fuck you to whoever hurt my friend.”

I handed Colson his phone back, not wanting to read any more. I could feel a lump in my throat again, but this one was from happiness. I felt so lucky to have two amazing people in my corner during a time that was otherwise very trying for me.

“I’m sorry I never told you,” I said as I rested against his chest again.

“You shouldn’t be sorry, (Y/N). I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry either. You can’t control your fans.”

“Then neither of us will be sorry.”

I chuckled at this. For a moment we were both silent, the only sound being Colson’s heart beating under my ear. It was a soothing sound, and combined with his fingers tracing over my back, I was almost lulled back to sleep.

“I love you,” he mumbled against my hair.

I lifted my head to look at him. “What?”

“I said I love you.”

I was speechless. It was the first time he had seriously said those words and he had managed to shock me into silence with them.

He looked at me, his face slowly becoming concerned with my silence.

“I love you, too,” I finally managed.

A smile broke out across Colson’s face as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly to him. For the rest of the night, he would whisper those three words to me randomly, and I would whisper back my response every time.

[prof-peach]

Hello there.. My name is Ranny and I saw Pokemon matchups are open.

I read somewhere among your posts that Ghost types could be good for little exposure to the outside? I could be mistaken, but I'll leave it to the expert.

I feel I'm quite.. difficult.. to matchup with and I can't think of something myself, I don't want to hinder any Pokemon's growth with my circumstances.. which I should probably explain? I guess I don't need to go into too much detail but I have a lot of anxiety and depression, social anxieties and ptsd (very reactive to things moving too fast above me). I have fluctuating agoraphobia also, when at a severe level being too close to windows and doors will trigger panic attacks.. I have mobility issues down to Fibromyalgia, communication and management difficulties due to Autism, and I have a hard time concentrating or get lost in hyperfocussing down to ADHD..

I'm very introverted, an INFJ personality, but I do get lonely, very lonely. My depression pretty much has me feeling low more often than not but also pretty hopeless in finding a Pokemon friend, partner, companion, or anything that won't ultimately become hindered by my existence..

Any shred of hope I have of finding someone, even if just the right direction toward one, has been poured into this.. But ultimately, please don't feel too bad if you can't think of any or don't have any available.

I have seen many specialists for my mental and physical health too, it's a painfully slow process, I just thought some company might help the journey perhaps..

Fingers crossed, huh?

Many kind regards, Ranny

The right thing you did here was explain. I’m able to give you a far more accurate suggestion because of that, so thank you for being honest about what you need a Pokemon for, aside from good company.

You’re not wrong, finding a Pokemon must have been hard for you, no one individual Pokemon could cover all the bases. That being said, a group of three low impact species could indeed help you here.

Because your situation is so specific, there’s a little less wiggle room on what you could get away with keeping, but for sure you have some choices.

So first off, emotional help, shuppet. A Pokemon happy to be indoors, often willing to help those who show them love. They’ll help regulate the moods, keep you calmer, happier, and overall more freed up to handle other things. The feelings of anxiety and depression are exhausting, You know that, but without that constant background noise of it all, you’ll have a lot more energy and opportunity to enjoy more things. In serious cases, even two shuppet would help, so talk to your doctor and also the pokecentres near you about this. This of course can be done over the phone or online, if it suits you better. Shuppet are underrated, and have high populations in the wild, I don’t know why folks overlook them, perhaps the dex entries around the species spook them. Either way, can’t suggest better than them.

Second up, indoor happy psychic types. The psychic lines are adept at aiding day to day, if you hurt and can’t reach something, or you feel tired and can’t get up to deal with going to the bathroom or something, they’re more than capable of using telekinetic powers to assist your movements, even in the bad days. Some are fully able to learn how to help regulate moods too, predicting panic attacks for their trainers, using various methods to help you before things get too stressful, or even dangerous. They also regulate brain waves, so your autism may feel a little easier to manage the longer you spend with a psychic partner. It’s proven most psychic types will do this automatically, to aid their human family day to day.

My top psychic pokemon picks for you:

solosis - a Pokemon that can and does exist in the vacuum of space, they don’t require food like average Pokemon, and have a very upbeat outlook on things more often than not, thrive indoors, so long as they get enrichment and company.

Espurr - correctly trained these Pokemon can also double up as a really good buddy for those who feel calmer when petting or brushing fur. They can be great loving companions, but also are notoriously happy entertaining themselves should you be busy, and find the life of an indoor Pokemon quite agreeable sometimes.

If I was in your position, and I felt like I could afford and handle three, I would get all three Pokemon I suggested. This gives them days off, time to relax, and breaks from the duties of a support Pokemon. Everything needs time out, so having a care rotor will allow them to plan for time out, to do things they enjoy too.

You’ll have to take this list to your local adoption centre, or even lab/professor, and they will help to put you on a waiting list for the correct species you decide upon in the end. You can’t just go and catch one from the wild in this case, these Pokemon all need very intense and specific lessons to help them be the best aids to you. The facility that eventually helps you find a set of partners will then try to match your personality to those of the support Pokemon then have ready to be rehomed. Get ready for a few visits to the facilities, to meet potential matches, but it’s well worth it. The company and love Pokemon give us is proven to aid in mood, and wellbeing. I think it’d really do you well to take at least a shuppet on.

Be aware, when possible it’s still nice for these Pokemon to go outside, even if you don’t. If you have access to a yard, or a shared garden, try to let them have time in the sun when possible if they are interested. Socialising them is also advised, even if only with friends and family’s Pokemon, send them with trusted individuals to the shops, just to take a break from the house, you know, normal junk like that.

The facility that will eventually assign you a partner will make sure to pick individuals who suit your lifestyle as best as possible, so you shouldn’t end up with a partner who isn’t ok with the conditions you’ve set out.

Do not lose hope, there’s a combo out there for everyone, and I think this set is a good one for you from what you’ve told me. Hopefully you can move forward and make some neat friends!

[bratkook]

like you used to. jjk

“So kill me like you used to...”

part two.

pairing. ex boyfriend!jungkook x reader genre. angst, mentions of smut, toxic exes warnings. very toxic depictions of relationships, hints at infidelity, drunken mistakes, they’re both very toxic for each other and just can’t stay away, brief mentions of smut word count. 2.9k note. this is just a lump of angst that my mind conjured at 1am last night, i just love angst and messy relationships that are destined to fail 😌(its not edited so if u see a typo no u dont)

It always started with a phone call. 

Whether it was from you or him always changed. Sometimes he’d get the call at two in the morning, vision blurry as he brought the phone to his face and saw your name illuminated on the screen, that old goofy selfie you had together still set as your contact photo. He’d hesitate for a moment just to keep you on your toes before pressing accept, already getting up and putting pants on because he knew just what you were calling for. 

Tonight was your turn to be on the receiving end, laying in bed comfortably as you scrolled through random posts to try to help you sleep, the flash of his face fills your phone, it’s a random close up photo of his eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled up in a smile. Even though his name is changed in your contacts, no longer having the cute bunny emoji tacked to the end, you know you’ll still pick up in a heartbeat. And you do. 

The second you press accept you’re met with the familiar sound of his voice, slurred and thick as he speaks so jumbled up you would barely be able to understand him if you didn’t already know what he was saying. It was the same things he always said whenever he got like this, proclamations of love that only cut up your freshly scabbed over wounds, salt rubbing into them when he cries about how he misses you, promises to change. 

They get cut off when the phone is yanked away from his grasp, the second familiar voice belonging to his buddy Yugyeom now speaking into the receiver. “You gotta pick him up Y/N.”

The annoyance is evident in his voice, the babbling of Jungkook still heard in the background along with the dull beat of whatever place they were outside of. 

“He’s not my responsibility Yugyeom.”

He simply sighs into the phone, staring at his mess of a friend before rubbing his jaw, sore and aching from where he had just been socked after attempting to force him into an uber. “Yeah well he won’t let anyone else take him home, he’s drunk as fuck. I’ll send you the location.”

Not waiting for a response he hangs up and sends you a pin of where they’re at, thrusting the phone back into his friend’s hands before getting into that uber and leaving Jungkook alone while he whines against the dirty bar wall, crouching down onto the filthy sidewalk as the car drove off. 

Yugyeom knew you would come to his rescue like you always did, never once saying no and letting Jungkook fend for himself because on the rare occasions where you’d call him drunk and crying he’d do the same. 

Getting into the car still dressed in your pajamas, shoes thrown on without being laced up, hair still messy, it felt like routine now from how often it happened. Jungkook called you sober, text you while in a sane state of mind, but without fail at least once a month he’d get absolutely shit faced and call you, leaving you what he thought were heartfelt voicemails if by some chance you didn’t answer. 

It was the same bar every time, a bar you used to frequent with him, knowing the location and all the small side streets to get you there without needing directions. Doing this felt like such a normal part of your life it almost made you forget that you and Jungkook weren’t together anymore. It’s been a year since you split and you still find yourself thinking if things could be different. 

Would it have been best if you never confessed to each other, never admitted to the small inkling of a crush before it was able to fully blossom? It was hard not to wonder how different life would be now if you had walked away the first time things went south, if he had walked away after the first argument. 

Whenever he called you, pulled you in with those drunken promises it was easy to convince yourself that your relationship was perfect, that it was worth all of the struggles. Your brain morphed each fight, each time you cried alone, twisted it around and molded it to make it easier to consume, easier to believe you were meant to be. 

You thought you were soulmates, and maybe you were, two people destined to be together, meeting at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances. What was meant to be perfect puzzle pieces connected had slowly turned into jagged edges that no longer clicked regardless of how hard you tried to jam them together, foolishly thinking you could spill your love into the gaps to mend the spaces, making the pieces whole once more. 

Love was never enough. 

Love made you stupid, made you blind and gullible, smiling through lies to avoid arguments, going to bed angry until he was hovering over you, coaxing you into forgiveness with soft kisses and gentle touches. It always went this way, regardless of who’s fault it was without fail he’d end up slot between your legs, the only time the puzzle pieces connected perfectly, allowing him to fuck you as if he’d never see you again. Murmurs of love and adoration were passed between panting breaths, sloppy kisses, shared moans to mask the empty promises you made every time.

Staying away from each other was a hard habit to kick, the two of you stuck on an endless game of seesaw, neither of you having the guts to get off and move on. All it took was a simple drunk phone call for you to go his way, the slur of his voice as he cries into the receiver about how much he loved you, missed you, needed you next to him, wanted to try again. It reeled you in so easily, winding you up until you were hauling your sloppy ex boyfriend off the dirty floor and into your small car. 

He remembers none of this, he never did, not fully anyways. Small tidbits of words he said flash in his mind as he comes to, drool on his cheek and neck sore from the unfortunate position he had slept in, groggy and unaware of his surroundings. 

He knew your apartment too well, recognized the green wall he had helped you paint, now holding endless pictures of you and your friends. None of Jungkook anymore. 

All of those photos were gone now, not burned or shredded in some ritual to get over him, simply tucked into a box and shoved so far into your closet you hoped you would forget it. You never did of course, the way the box laid dust free made it clear how often you pulled it out and sorted through the photos whenever you had too much wine, whenever you had off days where you just felt so alone and wished you could go back to the times you had convinced yourself were better. They weren’t, you knew they weren’t once you sobered up and balanced out your emotions.

Jungkook doesn’t feel bothered that not a trace of him remained visible in your home, he knew his presence lingered in the cracks, buried so deep in the crevices of your mind he knew you would always think of him. 

He groans softly as his eyes roam the interior of your home, the throbbing in his temples making him stop and shut his lids, not needing to analyze the place he was at less than two weeks ago when you had called him over. Jungkook briefly wonders if he should sneak his way out, not used to waking up on the couch instead of in your bed right beside you, maybe he had said something last night that crossed the line and landed him on the couch as a punishment. 

As you finally emerge from your room his plan of escape is put to a stop, his eyes gravitating towards your bedroom door, seeing the way you cautiously step out. Having heard Jungkook wake up since you had already been awake for the past hour, your body not allowing you to sleep while knowing he was in the other room, it took a few minutes of courage before you were able to face him. 

Spotting him on your couch shows how much he doesn’t belong, the pinned leather jacket he wore looking so harsh against the light coloring of your furniture, his dark disheveled hair contrasting with the tidy way you organized your apartment. He senses it, the skin crawling sensation that spreads the longer you stare at him, how he felt so out of place somewhere he used to call home at one point. 

“Thank you for picking me up.” He chooses to break the silence, voice raspy, his internal self screaming at him for always doing this. His eyes are sincere, genuinely meaning it, knowing just how messy he got when he had too much to drink, how his friends could never handle him when he crossed the line and began to call for you. 

Like always his words were routine so he expects it when you huff and say, “You need better friends Jungkook.”

“I know.” Because he did, he knew his friends enabled him, riled him up and once he became too much they pushed him onto you, knowing Jungkook’s grip on you was still too strong for you to ever say no. 

“What if I hadn’t picked you up? Would they have left you on the side of the bar to fend for yourself?”

“Probably,” he shrugs, from past experiences he knows very well they would have. His friends had dealt with Jungkook crying over you far too much, their patience fully stamped out, no longer able to tolerate him when he became like this. 

Not even realizing when he begins to smile as he thought of the nights you didn’t pick up, how he had ended up in the most random locations because he refused to go home to a place you weren’t, he snaps out of it when you scoff. “It’s not funny Jungkook, you could have gotten hurt or something.”

There it was, the reason you were upset. Not because he had called you and spewed the same bullshit he always did, no that you could tolerate. You were upset, and worried, that you’d get a following call from someone stating he had injured himself while calling for you. 

“I know.”

You pause to breathe, his short responses not irking you like it should, arms crossed over your chest as you observe your ex boyfriend still sitting on the couch, looking like a scolded child. 

“You can’t call me anymore Jungkook.” How you have the nerve to say that to him is funny, acting as if ten days ago you weren’t the one doing this to him, telling him you missed him, securing your anchor around his foot and dragging him back under with you. 

This is the checklist you needed to go down, a formality of the morning after so he doesn’t mind it. Instead he frowns at the way you continue to say his name, the way it rolls off your tongue makes him wince, missing the way you’d call him Kookie, playful pet names like Bunny, something he swore he hated but secretly loved. Jungkook wished he could hear you say it again, humor you with that damned bunny eared headband he’d wear to hear you laugh, squeal as he posed and dance for whatever silly video you recorded as you shouted out the ridiculous nickname. 

The last time he heard those words spill out of your mouth had been too long ago. 

“I’m sorry.” he admits, he knew he had to stop, couldn’t continue to hold onto the past, knowing how wrong you were for each other but he wasn’t the only one. Those were the same words you told him ten days ago, apologizing with guilty eyes for asking him to come over when you were lonely, needing a familiar body to occupy the space next to you, wanting his hands to soothe you, make you feel whole again just for a night. 

Once the sun came up it was back to normal, the two of you having the repeat conversation you had every time, the exact one you were having now. A formality. Nothing more, just mindless words that you would both agree to just to move along, to make you both feel better, more secure with yourself until the next time the phone rang. 

Your heart twists in your chest as you look at him, the same toxic love you had for him brewing in your heart, spilling over and burning you but you ignore the pain, convince yourself you don’t feel it as you breathe in. That same rope latches around Jungkook’s ankle as you avert your eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with a small sigh. “Do you want breakfast? I know how you get when you have a hangover.”

He smiles for the first time, charming as always, looking up at you through the subtle waves in his hair. “I probably shouldn’t.”

You know this. He definitely shouldn’t because breakfast will turn into words exchanged, civil at first, flirty the next, a coin flipped to decide if a petty argument would begin or if you’d reminisce about the good times. Regardless of the outcome, what always followed ended with you moaning out his name as he rocked into you, those same empty promises spilling through his lips that you swallowed with a kiss. 

A brief moment of bliss, a small dose of the past that only serves to hurt you further but you crave it, loving the small rush that came with arguing, the roughness of his hands as he pushed you around before sliding home, burying his face into your neck as he broke you down all over again. 

Normally you’d try to convince him further, but as your mouth opens to protest you get flashes of the night before, how you had carried Jungkook up your flight of stairs, hearing him ramble about nonsense so slurred together you paid it no mind. You would have had him sleep in your bed beside you like you always did but when you fish his phone out and begin to slide his jacket off it buzzes to life. 

Always being nosey you type in his password, smiling when you realize it was still your old anniversary but when you unlock it and see a flood of messages from a girl named Natalie, calling him babe, asking where he was, the smile falls from your face as you start to snoop. 

It doesn’t take much scrolling through their thread of messages to easily discover she was his girlfriend, blissfully unaware that he was shit faced and calling you, confessing to his love for you while she laid at home and wondered if he was having fun with his friends. She reminded you of yourself, of the way you used to be with him and it left a sour feeling on your tongue. 

“Yeah you probably shouldn’t.” 

He stands up now, following you slowly as you approach the door, heavy boots thumping on the hardwood as he reluctantly steps closer to the exit. He doesn’t want to leave, wants you to try to convince him to stay, not knowing that you knew the dirty secret he was hiding buried in his phone. 

You don’t decide to tell him you know, it was pointless. That was just how Jungkook was wired, so much love to give he had to spread it out, give everyone a fair share of it, choosing to pretend he wasn’t being selfish. It was naive to believe it, to think all the love he held was strictly for you, it was why he was able to pull the hood over your eyes so easily. 

Even when you pull the door open and give him a tightlipped smile he knows you’ll still call him, forget all about Natalie when you’re lonely once more. So when you look him in the eyes and sigh, “Goodbye Jungkook.” He knows it’s not for long, maybe a week or so, maybe less. 

He simply smiles, stuffing his hands into his jeans as he shuffles out, turning to face you as he steps backwards. “See you later Y/N.” And his words sting in a way he doesn’t mean, knowing just how right he was. 

Jungkook would never mind how heavy the anchor you hooked on his ankle was because he knew you would forever be a sucker for him. 

As you shut the door behind you it feels like a small weight starts to hang from your shoulders, the same tug starting from your chest, guiding you into your room until you’re pulling out the cursed box and sorting through those damned photos. With stinging eyes you flip through them for a moment, focusing on all the laughs captured on film, blurry vision moving to your phone beside you, hands already itching to call him again. 

It’s as if he knows, still inside your building, lingering in the lobby to give you a moment and it doesn’t take long. Once his phone starts to vibrate he smiles, staring at the photo of you as you call him like clockwork. With a clear of his throat he answers the phone, barely saying hello before he hears a small sniffle through the speaker. 

“I miss you Kookie.” 

Jungkook lets his eyes shut as he presses the elevator button, loving the feeling of being needed by you, already knowing to head back up because this was routine. 

“I know you do baby, I’ll be right up.”

And just like that you’re once again desperately trying to make those stupid puzzle pieces fit together, hoping that maybe this time love would be enough.