#i could just come out to them and go out femme but that would prob be worse overall than if i didnt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thecandywrites · 2 years ago

Text

Kinktober 2022 Day 3- Dirty Talk

So this is a fun twist on the prompt that I had a blast writing. Enjoy.

Again, many, many thanks to @starsandskies for her Kinktober prompts. Again, I'm still playing catch up. But! Hopefully you'll really like it.

Kinktober Day 3

Dirty Talk- Food Poisoning

You spotted your potential client and grinned and sauntered up to him and put your hand on one shoulder as you moved your hand from one shoulder to the other as you came around him.

“So what brings you around here Handsome?” You cooed to him as you took the glass of wine that was in his hand and daringly took a sip of it as you held his gaze almost defiantly.

“The usual reasons.” He answered back, as if he had been rehearsing that line at least a hundred times only moments before you asked your question.

“The usual reasons?” You scoffed before you put his glass of pinot noir back into his hand as you sucked your teeth in disappointment.

“Too bad. I don’t waste my time with the usual.” You tossed back before you turned around to walk away to find another potential client that would be worth your time.

“Why?” He called after you which halted your escape as you turned to the side to appraise him and give him an unimpressed look.

“Usual reasons means you have usual problems. It means you’ll need usual solutions to said problems. And it also means that you have the usual pay to solve those usual problems. And I’m not that kind of problem solver and my price is way higher than "the usual pay". Because I'm a specialist. But there are plenty of others in this place that will fix that usual problem for you right up without a single issue, you're surrounded by all kinds of tools whose bread and butter is "the usual". And I'm frankly unimpressed and find 'the usual' boring and not worth my time.” You answered back as you gestured to all the others that were walking around the place, scoping out potentials there while others came and headed straight to their preferred "problem solver". While you could only hope and pray that your favorite "subcontractors" would be coming in today to give you worthy of your time and expertise, and with the bank roll to make it worth your while too.

The “problem fixers” were indicated by key items. If they were male, or preferred to present as male, they wore black suits with red ties, red pocket squares in thier suit jackets and red shoes with gold and ruby tiebars and cufflinks and earrings if they so desired. With the occasional black gold chain encrusted with rubies among them or regular yellow gold chains, encrusted with rubies, garnets or any other precious red stone if they so desired.

If they were female, or at least- preferred to present as female- they wore black dresses or pantsuits with either a red belt, or sash. But with your dress this evening, you forewent the belt and the sash since it would break up the sleek designs of the dress itself and would break up the look and aesthetic you were going for. Because you sure did love putting the femme into femmefatal. But it was required that the black outfit have red shoes and a red clutch and red lipstick to match. Along with gold and ruby jewelry. Whether that be yellow, white, rose or black gold was up to the discerning taste of the wearer. Since the shade of red could vary slightly to make sure it was a was a flattering shade of red for the wearer. And also afforded for the "problem fixers" to differentiate themselves from the others while more of the senior members had thier own signiture look that didn't take kindly to copy-cats.

And if the "problem fixer" was either nonbinary or gender neutral or simply refused the classic gender roles, they had the most freedom of how they could dress their bodies. Just as long as it went with the theme of black, gold and red and very fashionable.

But usually, the more jewelry, especially the quality of said jewelry, or bling, the higher end designer brands you wore- indicated- how much your cost would be if you got commissioned to "fix problems". Cheap costume jewelry? While flashy- indicated you were new, barely trained and untested and had yet to earn any "real" money taking jobs from bids from the subcontractors. If you wore something real, but smaller and simpler- it either indicated you had a few jobs under your belt, but yet to build up enough of a portfolio of work or pay for that matter- to invest in your appearance in this place. But the big rollers, the ones who had been in this game the longest and had the most amazing wet work in their portfolio and they still wanted to be hired and to stay sharp- could afford to go all out. And some of the male presenting "problem presenters" could afford to practically look like a pimp with jewel encrusted everything, thick heavy furs, even in the heat of summer. And oppulant extravagance and it was usually the subcontractors- depending on their need- willing to increase thier price for the job ten fold if not more- to have "the best" fix thier problem for them.

And while you weren't quite to that level. You had enough experience to ask and demand a higher wage for your work while your quality of work was on par with some of the greats. But the only thing they had on you- was experience and connections. Which is what you were looking to build in yourself now. And you were hoping this ruby and diamond jewelry set would be worth it's investment if it got you viewed as one of the more desireable- "specialists" in here.

And it was the red that distinguished the "problem fixers" from the rest of the staff. Who wore black and gold exclusively. For female presenting persons, usually gold pearls on an item to distinguish them or if they were male, or presented as male, pure solid yellow-preferrably 24 karat gold for their accessories with no gemstones on the off chance they would be mistaken as anything other than the wait staff. But even they could afford to invest in thier own attire so that thier own tips for thier service would make any other waiter or waitress willing to slit thier own family's throats just to get the paydays these guys did. Because- just like in Vegas- with gambling Whales. The clientelle in this place could afford the best in food and drink and afford to leave thousands, maybe even tens of thousands of dollars in tips depending on how much food or drink they needed.

Otherwise the very lavish and luxurious private club could be mistaken for an exclusive nightclub but it far away from the flashing lights of Vegas, but in a city just as bright and just as bustling as any other world reknowned city. But this particular establishment was open 24/7 to serve it's own exclusive clientelle who could come from any time zone on the planet and need "work" done at any time of the day or night.

And the design of the place was exclusively black and gold with diamond or crystal accents in the chandeliers, which was why the "dress code" for those that worked here and got the privledge to work from here was so strict. There were many codes that many lived by here. And if you were serious and took your work seriously- you needed to present yourself as such, but still play into the illusion that this was just some fancy, super exclusive club. And not the assassin's den it was.

But this client, from the looks of him, wasn't worth your time. So you simply gave him a little waive goodbye with a smirk over your shoulder before you continued to walk away from him to look for another potential client before he came walking after you.

“Well what if I could offer you something unusual?” He offered, just a tad desperately too. Which was intriguing as you read him top to bottom and looked around to see if anyone else was watching your interaction with him to see if any other had overheard and was now on their way to try to claim this client right out from under your nose.

“Which is what? Vallina? Only distinguished by the fact that it’s from Madagascar as opposed to any other kind from any other source?” You returned as you paused again but turned all the way around to fully face him this time.

“No, I’m talking about the kind that is as dangerous and deadly- like food poisoning.” He tried to convey, as he dropped his volume to say the term 'food poisoning' as his cheeks flushed harder while fear flashed in his eyes. Which made you blink in surprise, not thinking he would have the nerve to say something like that- especially out loud and out on the open floor for anyone nearby to hear. Because "food poisoning" could have many implications in this establishment. But was never something to be taken lightly or dismissed. Because "food poisoning" was like a mini SOS signal. And the way he said it- told you it was a serious case. And depending on the severity, could be dangerous to the establishment as a whole.

Ok, so 'the usual' was more than what he seemed at first glance as you closed the distance between him and yourself as you looked into his eyes, trying to read his soul beyond them as your grin grew. Because "food poisoning" was also the kind of threat that many "contractors" allowed thier "subcontractors" to offer. It usually paid at least double or triple to get rid of. And if anything, your curiosity was piqued and you decided to give him a second chance to make a bid for your time and attention.

“Now why didn’t you lead with that? I love it when subcontractors talk dirty to me.” You cooed as you slipped back into your courtesan facade.

“Is there anywhere we could go privately to discuss the further details?” He asked hopefully before he pulled out a black envelope gilded in gold with the design that marked that what was inside was a job- open for bidding with a skull imprinted on the wax seal, which meant it was a kill order. Which only made the curve to your grin that much more dangerously wicked.

“Of course, come with me.” You offered as he pocketed the envelope and you took his arm, and since you were on his arm, the guards at the bottom of the stairs allowed both of you to ascend them in the first place. Because the VIP section was actually a series of booths for negotiations on the orders, offers and jobs. You brought him up the black and gold glittering stairs to the VIP booths that lined both sides of the hallway, looking for an open one- which they were all numbered, but if the booth was in use- it had a cover over the number to signify it as being in use.

The booths themselves were distinguised by the black silk curtains between the black marble columns that had gold leaf pressed into the various reliefs carved into the pillars themselves that indicated where one booth started and ended. But between the pillars- hung all around, both inside and out with long, black silk curtains- with gold glittering jewels sewn into a cascading design down the length of them. You pulled his pocket square from his business jacket pocket and put it over the number over the number jutting out of the pillar to indicate you were putting it into use. Since each "subcontractor" always had to have a pocket square or something similar to get the privlidge to come up here and get a private booth to discuss the details and negotiate.

And once you did that, you pulled back the curtains to reveal a set of doors before you opened one of them and gestured for him to enter it first which he did before you closed the curtains and then shut the door. You pressed a button inlaid into the special table inside the booth- to close that set of noise canceling doors since the space was enclosed in bulletproof, and noise proof plexiglass, hidden by long curtains of silk to hide the safety and security measure, just in case "negotiations" went south and got messy.

“Now, the room is secure, what is this ‘deadly dangerous food poisoning’ problem that you might need an exquisite problem solving tool- like me to fix? Come on, talk dirty to me.” You invited, your tone as salacious as the pose you struck on the small half circle black velvet couch in this little private booth.

“Uh, um, well, actually it’s all in here.” He rather nervously answered before he took the envelope back out of his inside jacket pocket and handed it over to you which made your eyebrow raise in critical if not surprised fashion as your smile shrunk down to a pout. While this wasn't "unusual". It had been a while since you had a new client that used this particular proper proceedure. Usually only those who were brand new to this used this exact "proper" proceedure and formality. But such protocols and formalities could usually be dismissed and unused once there was more familiarity. But he was honoring the proper proceedure and protocol so you followed it in turn.

He must have been new. Very new. Because usually the subcontractors only let you glance at orders like these as they read the details which were more like ‘demands’ off to you, using coded language that sounded like “dirty talk” but was in reality- instructions for “problems” that they wanted “tools” and "problem solvers" like you to fix.

You took the envelope from him and took a moment to inspect it closely. Because this wasn’t your first encounter with a plant, or the bait for a trap, which this room was specifically built to save the tool, but kill the unlucky bastard who tried to play "subcontractor". But something about him didn’t lead you to believe that he wasn’t necessarily a plant- just a nervous first timer.

But this particular envelope was thicker than usual, which meant there were many "details" about this offer. The envelope was authentic though. And that’s all that mattered in that moment.

Because usually the fakes never got the tiny details about the envelope right. They either had the spacing off, or they didn’t have the gold embossing raised or quite the right pattern on the silken satined black paper. Or they got the paper it was printed on- wrong in thickness. It was a unique silk blend paper, with areas of matte or glossy pearl finish with real 24 karat gold leaf on the embossing. And gold foil lazer printed in other areas. You turned it around and noticed the second seal that under the first. The first seal simply held a special band around the envelope. The skull in gold wax- indicated it was a kill order.

But the second seal was to the actual envelope. That seal was what defined and dictated who the contractor was- that was offering the job. Each crime syndicate family had it’s own seal. And the seals themselves were also very hard to duplicate. You tapped your acrylic nail on the seal to make sure it was real wax and not that cheap plastic-y wax that the skull seal was always in because it was meant to glitter and glow like real gold but was essentially trash once it was broken and could be kept for your records as part of your portfolio. And the relief was also embossed with gold leaf too.

You recognized the seal. You had done many jobs for this particular syndicate before. And it was actually this syndicate you were hoping had a job lined up for you tonight since this syndicate never seemed to rest. Always working, always moving, always growing and expanding. It had started out as a big fish in a little pond and then when they made it to "the big time" they realized they were a small sardine in an ocean. But they were quickly gobbling up other fish and just kept on swimming and eating and were now quite the shark in comparison. Something to have a healthy fear of, high respect for, and graciousness and respect when dealing with. So you knew the seal was authentic. Which only led you to believe that the man next to you must be brand new to this. And probably wasn’t saying anything other than that one buzz word because he probably had no clue what to even say beyond that.

You broke the wax seal which for you- was another sign he must have been new- like newborn baby- still covered in afterbirth kind of new. Because the normal subcontractors broke the seals when they got the order and it was the order- made to look like a couture invitation- to even get through the doors and enter the establishment in the first place. The subcontractors had to- themselves have a dress code of thier own. Grays and either blues and greens, to contrast the black, gold and red.

But even at the door of the establishment, the invitation was scanned for "contrand". It was X-rayed, ultrasounded, wieghed, measured, and inspected to make sure it wasn't a fake as a security measure. But even the best fakes had gotten passed before, so each "problem solver" were always on thier toes so to speak because if a few had gotten through and past the doormen before, it could happen again, at any other moment.

But the regular subcontractors liked to open it and read it first and then “resealed it”. Which you could tell by how the red wax would have been partially remelted to restick to the paper. But this looked and felt like he was simply handed this by the contractor and sent in here, practically almost blind with the bare minimum of knowledge to not get himself killed on sight. Which meant he was either being protected, or- most likely- had not proven his trustworthiness and this was always the big test for "subcontractors" is if they could get into this place that was affectionately referred to as "the tool shed". Thus the construction terminology.

“You’re new.” You noted as you dropped the courtesan act and looked at him even more closely, keeping an eye out for every single detail possible to make sure he wasn't a plant. Because if he was, you had every right to kill him where he sat, because "food poisoning" was practically communicable in a place like this and posed just as big of a threat to the establishment as it could pose to it's respective syndicate.

New could be good though. Very good for the business, because the newest additions to the exclusive clientelle lists paid the most, while the oldest ones paid what they originally did when they first entered the agreement to have the right to even send someone in here with thier bids for jobs. It could also be good if he was new especially if this particular syndicate was growing.

But new could also be dangerous because new always came with the risk of it being a trap and "the new guy" or "new girl" being a plant from any of the agencies like the FBI- CIA or MI6 or whatever. Even though most "problem solvers" usually were ex military or had any kind of "formal" or "informal" training as an assassin to be "deemed good enough" to be "a tool" for any particular "tool box" in this "tool shed".

But so far- he was following protocol. So you didn’t feel the need to press the hidden panic button that was hidden in an unassuming gold tile in the other wise black marble with gold inlay on the floors- to get the room surrounded and to open up a trap door for you to fall through before the room would be blasted and kill anything and everything within the booth, thus- the bomb proof plexiglass.

Because you didn’t see how he could pose a serious threat to you. At least from his spot on that couch and especially since while this dress didn’t leave much to the imagination, it still held the fact that you were armed to the teeth and could kill him at least 16, if not 17 ways just from sitting here without breaking a sweat, or a nail.

You opened the envelope and pulled out the distinct card. The correct perfect thickness of the sleek and silken pearlized pitch black but patterened paper. Complete with the embossed- gold gilded border. So far, so good. The gold foil type was even correct. It had a sequence number at the top and the correct date typed under the sequence number so that both the contractor, the tool and the tool shed could keep track of any and all work done.

The establishment sent out these "blank"- "invitations" to the syndicates with deliberate spaces in gold foiled lettering and lines in any language the syndicate liked to work in- so that the syndicate could fill in the blanks with gold ink as to what they needed. But each "invitation" had a cost unto itself to even get a single one of. But most syndicates could afford to buy them in bulk and by the dozen, if not by the hundreds for any given year. And any "unused" invitations from the previous years, could be exchanged and "rolled over" into the next year while others had standing orders and only the original members of this club could use invitations that didn't need to be numbered according to the year but still had to be serialized in number. So it was an authentic offer from an authentic syndicate.

Just a new subcontractor who didn't have a fucking clue what he was doing in the tool shed.

Great.

You needed to ask for more in your fee for them to send you the FNG and scaring you into thinking that the syndicate and the establishemnt were in danger from this "food poisoning". Which was very fatal in it's full understanding.

“Is it that obvious?” He asked as he flushed a bit sheepishly and fidgeted with his watch, which you could appreciate was probably standard issue for him in that particular syndicate because each syndicate did have thier own unique styling as well. But you could tell it was recording your interaction with him, probably more for his protection than yours to make sure that you both followed proceedure and protocol. Which was allowed, since syndicates needed to be a bit paranoid to make sure that the tool they were using was authentic too. Because it wasn't unusual for "plants" to hide as "new tools" in the tool shed either. And thankfully, the plants got picked out pretty quickly because they didn't follow the protocol or the full dresscode. Because otherwise, tools could be traded and moved to different tool boxes in different tool sheds because of the vetting process involved in becoming a tool. And communication between tool sheds was immaculate and nothing seemed to get passed them.

“The usual subcontractors- which is what you are for coming in here- have usually already broken the seal and read the offer and choose their desired tools according to the needs of the situation or "problem" that needs a "problem solver" or "tool" like me to fix. The fact that you didn’t, means either you are not that familiar with the catalog that lists all the tools in this "tool box" for this particular "tool shed". Or it could have meant that you already knew what was in here without having to open it, and that any tool would do. Or, possibly, that you're looking to pinch a few pennies and are hoping a cheaper tool that doesn’t get used that much- is eager to make it out of the tool box to be used and get resharpened before it’s considered no longer a viable or productive tool and no longer kept as a tool. Because no one keeps rusty tools in their tool boxes. Because rust- like food poisoning- can spread and be more of a liability rather than useful.” You waived off dismissively as you read it over before you grinned when you read it and were delighted by the "problem" that needed to be fixed.

The bid to solve and correct the rather dangerous and indeed deadly problem that definitely counted as "food poisoning" was, as you expected and hoped for- two and a half times the usual price for such a job, mostly because of who had caused it. Because this problem- risked this family’s exposure and could lead to multiple members of the contractor's immediate family as well as the key members of the syndicate being vulnerable and needing "medical assistance". Which usually meant a trip to a very special hospital that was a line of hospitals around the world that tools, subcontractors and contractors alike could use and access to get the "medical care" they needed. That could range from anything to plastic surgery to alter appearance, fake thier deaths and actual medical records, patch ups and recovery, you name it- they could provide it- to keep you alive, even if you had to use one of many "spare" lives you could afford and if at all possible- keep everyone healthy and happy and most important- functioning so that business wouldn't be interrupted, and neither would the flow of funds in all of it's glorious forms. Gone were the days of cold hard cash, but now that practically everything was digital, you really only needed to have a cache of hard currency, as more of a disaster preparedness kind of situation. Otherwise, because all tools in the tool shed, depending on what kind they were and what specialties they had- meant that with every successful job, not only did your fee increase, but so did the "budjet" from the establishment so that you- as a tool- had everything you needed to get the job done and done well. And this job had an offer that the syndicate would vouch for the tool to be 100% funded and backed. With even a special care package guaranteed. Which for you was icing on this surprisingly exciting and dangerous cake for taking out the deadly point of threat.

And right now, this syndicate was hoping to keep the "food poisoning" to as few in number of people as possible. It needed not just any tool with any particular skillset, quite the opposite. It needed to have a very special tool with a very special skill set to fix the problem. And clean up the mess, scrub the area, clean up any signs of any food poisoning. Which, depending on how many people could "contract" it. Could threaten the entire syndicate and potentially cross-contaminate the establishment. Which was why the establishment already put thier stamp of approval for full funding when they recieved the order for this particular job's bid invitation. The offer also requested that that the tool- tie up any and all loose ends and leave the scene spotless. And it was right in your wheelhouse.

But this was only the initial bid, with only the biggest and most important details listed. However, what was unique was that this offer came with a very quick timeline because "food poisoning" could be quite contageous quite quickly and it was very urgent and needed immediate action to rectify and cure, clean, decontaminate and immobolize, deactivate and sterlize the source of the food poisoning so that the threat was rendered inert and came with a shockingly short deadline, which would also explain the higher than usual fee. Because the point of threat was trying to use what they had gotten and use it as blackmail against the syndicate. Which was why it now counted as "food poisoning". And the job required you to retrieve the blackmail intact but of course, not see what said blackmail was so you yourself wouldn’t be seen as a potential threat either and be "exposed" to the "contamination".

Food poisoning indeed.

“So what’s the take?” You asked him.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“Wow, you are really brand-spankin' new. Do you need me to really spell all of this out for you?” You asked him with a frown.

“Uh, no, I uh, just need to know if you’ll accept it or not.” He answered.

“Any special conditions if I do?” You asked.

“Only that you do so and finish the job before the deadline that’s on it.” He answered before you nodded and hummed in response.

So you pulled your special fountain pen out of your clutch- with ink that glowed under black light- so that to the onlooker under normal light- it never had anything written on it at all. The pen was specially made just for you, and your pen that distinguished you from the other “tools” in this toolbox. But the ink- was rather universal to be used by all the tools belonging to this particular tool shed becuase under blacklight- instead of glowing blue or even a slight purpleish blue- it glowed pink which was as close to red as they could get since the color of choice for this tool shed was red since all the toolsheds kept to the black and gold styling and decore, but the accent color to signify the "tools" was unique to the toolshed itself and the very lucky tools could go and work from any and all tool sheds around the world and had all the sets of "dress code" to match.

And the only other identification you could give was your handwriting style and signiture, that was also in the catalog too. You swiped your fountain pen's tip to get the special ink over your thumb before you pressed your thumb print into the paper with your signature, as another safety precaution and protocol to protect the subcontractor that they were working with a professional tool, and not a fake or a plant. The thumb print especially was used to distinguish each tool from the others and was also in the catalog that only the heads of the syndicate had access to such things and were kept under more locks and keys than any gold or jewels could be. Because a tool's thumb print was just tantamount to signing the contract- or in this case- your counter offer- in blood because of all the layers of anonymity to keep everyone safe and to keep the contractors themselves- clean and safe which in turn was a layer of protection for their immediate friends and family.

You wrote your own special conditions on the back in order for you to take the offer and be the "tool- used” to fix this problem on such short notice. But with the same quality of work as previously given on your previous work with them. You blew on the ink to make sure it dried into the special paper and didn't smudge. Then once the ink dried, you slipped the paper back into the envelope and used the heat from your cigarette lighter to reheat the wax on the bottom edge of the seal on the envelope before you sealed it again and handed it back to him, but kept the strip of special black paper with the gold wax seal showing a skull with you- as proof that you were in active negotiations with a client.

“I’ll be waiting right here for the answer. The guards at the bottom of the stairs will let you back up without me because your pocket square is still on the number because we are now negotiating terms.” But this envelope is your key in and out of the tool shed. Guard it with your life." You offered to him as you pressed the same button hidden in the inlay of the table that opened the doors so he could go and deliver your counter offer before a server came in just after he left and noticed your subcontractor left the booth- envelope in hand as he quickly walked down the long hallway and down the steps to go outside where he could give the counter offer to the contractor- who- should be nearby, but not so close so as to be caught up- just in case the establishment came under fire from an ambush.

“Anything I can get for you while you wait Love?” The waiter asked with a tray tucked under his arm.

“I’ll take a Viper Venom and a Fluer slider- medium rare. I have a feeling I might have a while to wait and I’m hungry. Also, is there any way you can tell me what FNG subcontractor I just got a bid from? He practically still had afterbirth on him. He followed protocol but if he had not had an authentic bid on him, I would have thought he was a plant and would and could have killed him on sight and ordered that whoever's offer he had on him- got compromised.” You requested.

“Yes Ma’am.” He answered before he left to get you what you requested as you sipped on the wine that the subcontractor had left in his glass on the table.

Besides, every time you came into the "tool shed" you got comped a meal for however many hours it took for you to secure a bid. Usually the negotiations for such jobs could take a whole hour in itself, if not two or three.

But the Fluer sandwhich was your favorite thing on the menu. It had an A5 Wagyu steak cooked perfectly to your preferred tastes- medium rare, with generous slices of truffles, aoli and arugula on some fancy brioche bun. Big enough to satisfy an appetite but not so large that one felt sleepy or sluggish after eating it. It was positively delectable. Along with your favorite drink that was a favorite among all the other “tools” here. It was sweet, fruity, and practically lethal in potency because the bartenders were very generous in thier pours at the bar. It was a common practice among the bartenders here to be very genous in thier pours because the more liquored up the subcontractors and tools were, the more likely they could amicably come to a solution to the problem presented to them. And the drink countered all the dry wines or other drinks the other subcontractors ordered.

The waiter came back a little later than usual, but your drink was still ice cold and the food hot and fresh from the kitchen as the folder barely had much of anything in it.

“What in the everloving fucking hell?!” You frowned when you looked at the folder.

“Is the food or drink not up to your standards Ma'am?” The waiter asked.

“No, of course they are always excellent. But what is up with this file? Is this the cliff notes to the real thing or is he really so new that can barely fill a folder at all?” You asked rather rhetorically.

"That's all I could get from management." The waitor shrugged which earned an irritated eyeroll.

"Well thanks anyway for pulling it. I appreciate it." You thanked him as you tipped him a crisp hundred dollar bill, because while your meal was free, the waitor deserved to be paid well for thier work and discretion. Because that wine tasted expensive, like at least a grand just for a glass expensive.

You picked up the pitifully thin file up and looked through it and just frowned deeper and deeper as you read through the scant details inside of it. The "subcontractor" which that title was a big streatch for what he was- his name wasn’t ringing any bells. His face didn’t have any of the “familiar” facial features from the well known “contractor” that sent “subcontractors” who were usually direct decendants or very close compatriots here as "subcontractors"- out to get “tools”.

He had to be either a son in law or a nephew or something. Someone close but not necessarily of blood relation. Because otherwise there was nothing in this folder that suggested he should qualify as even a subcontractor and should not even been allowed to set foot into this establishment.

'Newbie indeed.' You mentally griped as a low, dangerous growl left your throat before you picked up the sandwhich and took a big bite of it and chewed it rather aggressively and not at all in a "lady like manner". But this FNG was getting on your nerves, if the FNG was even worth the suit he was wearing. He would need to clean the afterbirth off of himself and learn to act his part and do so quickly if you were going to have to do deal with him in the future. God, if he really was so new, that he couldn't grasp more than "food poisoning". You'd have to talk shop and practically hold his hand and it'd be like teaching a kindergardener- trying to teach him the "right" lingo here. Because it very much was a language all it's own. With it's own rules and slang too. And if the counter offer included a demand that you'd have to hold the FNG's hand to walk him through this process, you were going to demand twice the already generous price. You lost your patience for dealing with FNG's and newbies years ago.

You finished your meal and your drink by the time he had made it back to the room just in time for the waitor to "refresh" his wine glass with more wine.

“Did you get lost?” You asked him rather dryly, if not sarcastically as you reached your hand out for the envelope that would either be a confirmation or would be a counter offer.

“Uh, no just, um the contractor had more details for your consideration.” He answered as he handed it back to you as you opened the envelope, popping the seal with ease. You flipped a switch under the table so you could read what had been written back - under your bid for the job. Since all negotiations were always written in UV ink as it turned the purple lights on in the booth and got your own ink to glow pink and your contractor's ink to glow the usual ultraviolet color.

“Sit down.” You ordered him before he obeyed and immediately sat, very ridgidly on the couch and didn't even reach for the glass of wine as you could hear his heavy labored breathing as if he just got done running a marathon.

“Whose son in law or nephew are you? Because you're of no blood relation to the contractor and his familiy. Not unless you're the son of any number of the contractor's mistresses.” You asked him pointedly as you read over the counter offer and frowned even deeper as your coy smile was replaced with a hard, serious look instead.

“Excuse me?” He asked as he balked at your very serious question and tone.

“First off, this? Is pathetic.” You began as you lifted up his file folder before you slid it to him across the table.

“You would need ten times the experience and have way more modalities to even have you qualify as “subcontractor”. The fact that you are not just a newbie, you practically have your umbilical cord attached and afterbirth on you. So that means in order for this to be authentic- and legitimate." You held up the invitation that had been in the envelope for emphasis.

"For you to be this inexperienced but still be considered a subcontractor that is even allowed to enter the tool shed and into this particular tool box to select a tool- means you must have very considerable and serious connections. So to explain your newness- you have to be either the son of a contractor, the son in law of one or the nephew of one because other than your blood relation to the contractor, they're the only ones allowed in here without proving themselves to the establishment's management. So before I give you my answer to the counter offer, I need you to cut through all the cat and mouse bullshit and tell me who you really are and what’s really going on. Don’t start talking dirty to me now, because I sincerely doubt you know what any of it would really mean anyway.” You demanded firmly before you pulled your hold handled gun from it's holster on your hip and pointed it at him after you pushed the safety off since it was already chambered with a live round.

"You have to the count of three, one..." You began before he put his hands up in surrender.

"No! No! No! Don't shoot, you're right. I'm the son in law to the contractor!" He immediately confessed.

“Fuck, I'm not cut out for this. You're right. I have no business in here. I'm the newest of newbies. I didn't know until this afternoon I was even coming here. I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm in way over my head.” He practically blubbered as tears came to his eyes.

“Yes. My father in law is Victor Von Marriongnois. He wants me in the family business. But I had no idea just what kind or how big or all encompassing said “family business” was. And yes, this is the first time I'm doing any of this. I know that you’re an assassin that likes to go by either "a problem fixer" or a "tool" for anonymity's sake, for your safety and for mine. And that if I tried to say the wrong thing you’d kill me on the spot because of how weary all of you have to be for your own survival. Look, I’m just an accountant from IT. I'm barely able to keep up with the others on the financial team since IT and finance are so integrated now- for my fahter in law. I used to just launder money for him and his family and their businesses and probably not even half of what’s in that folder is true. It's probably just filler to make me out to be more "experienced" as whatever I'm supposed to be in here. Once I realized I fucked up, Falicia took me in for a "family meeting" to explain what I did. And I tried to fix it. But I don't know if I made it worse or what." He began to confess as you could finally see the real fear and other emotions on his face and in his voice which got you to lower your gun but still kept the safety off, just in case.

"My father in law told me that since I fucked up- that I needed to clean it up. And do it right and finish what I started. That in order to that- I needed to come to the "tool shed" to get the right tool to do so for me because I apprently didn't clean it up right or whatever. But he said all I needed to do is come in here, that a “tool” would approach me and for me to say it was “usual business” and that that would get me into a room like this and to keep an eye on the kind of pen you had because each pen apprently is unique to the tool and to tell him what the pen was so he would know which tool I got. But to otherwise not say anything else, that all I needed to do was to hand the “bid” to the tool, and the tool would either accept or decline but I was not to leave this place without getting a tool to accept it and to fix it." He continued.

"And in the worst case scenerio- that if I said "food poisoning" it would convey whatever that term is meant to convey. But it would get a serious tool to consider me and the offer seriously. I have no idea what any of that means. I’m just doing as I’m told. Because Falicia needs me to, so I’m not a liability to her, any more than I already am since she's practically royalty and I'm just a geek from nowhere but just happened to have a thing for computers and for technology and numbers and for laundering money and moving it around so it all seems legitamate." He explained.

"Falicia is her father's head accountant so we worked really closely for a lot of things and just...closeness bred fondness that grew from there. We just got married, we just got back from our honeymoon for crying out loud! But because I fucked up while we were on said honeymoon- she's in trouble and this could get her whole family and everyone she loves in trouble.” He readily confessed before you ‘oh’ed’ in understanding and put the safety back into place on your gun and reholstered it.

“Ok, that explains things. Yeah, you totally would have completely fucked up if you tried to “talk dirty” to me and you would have gotten yourself killed for doing it wrong, because people have been killed in here over less. You poor thing. Show me Falicia.” You sympathized with him as you appreciated his wedding ring and just shook your head.

But Falicia was a friend. You had dealt with her personally many times since she was her father's daughter and had a gift for her family's business. So you gladly and happily signed off on accepting the counter offer and put both thumb prints on it from each hand- to show that it was a done deal. Then put the invitation back into the envelope and you re-sealed the wax seal again and put it back into his hands as he blew a sigh of relief. Especially once he brought up his wedding pictures with his bride Falicia Von Marriongnois-Chantemont on his phone to show you as you recognized Falicia and her obvious new husband in them, and you were now relieved that you didn't have to kill him, just because he was a newbie who just happened to know he was in way over his head. You got to learn that this subcontractor-Falicia’s husband- was indeed Thomas Chantemont and the two did look really happy, both for the wedding and all the other pictures he had of the both them on his phone as you could see how long the relationship had been going on since the man had pictures of the two of them going back for over a year. But Falicia never talked personal life and details in here. Always only business, which you appreciated.

“Well, it's a good thing you said "food poisoning". Because to the Von Marriongnois, that's something very, very serious. And I would hate for any member of that family to fall ill. Tell Falicia that Valincia is going to take care of it and that, as always, I have her back. I take it this is to cover up the fact that you and her got into a little too much trouble and got caught or at least photographed doing it?” You guessed as you nodded to the envelope.

“Yeah. I had to do some “business” on our honeymoon and I- like the literally drunken idiot used the hotel’s wifi to do it. So my internet traffic practically had to use a public highway and of course it got spotted. Stupid, rookie mistake. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess.” He admitted as you sucked in a breath between your teeth as you grimaced.

“Yikes. Yeah. That counts as food poisoning. And Falicia is Victor's favorite daughter. I can't imagine the hoops you had to jump through to get her to be your bride. Well at least you’re sweet and honest, which is a very big rarity. Especially in this business. And is probably why she likes you and loves you enough to trust you to be a big boy about this and deal with this yourself. You manned up. I'm sure she's very proud of you, as is your father in law. Good for you. I’m happy for you both. So, as a favor to Falicia, I’m going to do you a favor and give you some pointers on how to clean that afterbirth off of you because of how much of a newbie you are to all of this. If you ever have to come into this place again, or any other “tool shed” again. Because many contractors use many tools in many toolboxes and may have multiple tool sheds- right?” You explained metaphorically as he slowly nodded in understanding.

“Next time, heaven forbid, you have to come in here and do this again- first, ask your father in law for the opportunity to look at the catalog for the toolshed and toolbox of his choice. Because, he– as a “contractor”- is allowed to have one for every tool box in every toolshed available to him. And you- as one of his “subcontractors” as brand new to this as you are- are allowed to be familiar with it too- if you so choose to be, that is. If not, that’s ok, and I’m sure Falicia would be happier if her husband wasn’t “talking dirty” to another woman, or even another guy, even if it’s metaphorically speaking. Each tool in said catalog will list what each tool is best for what purpose and which tool specializes in what. You don’t send a scalpel to hammer in a nail, right? You follow?” You explained.

“Yes Ma’am.” He nodded.

“Good. Next, if you ever have to do this again, memorize the catalog to the point that you know who are the tried and true, who are the new tools, but most importantly- which ones are the untested tools. Because they haven’t been used so they’re cheaper but they’re a gamble if they’ll get the job done and not leave a bigger mess and more problems than you were trying to fix and clean up by using them in the first place. You still with me?” You asked.

“Yes.” He confirmed.

“And the way you can tell that- is look at what they're wearing- simple jewels- newer tools that haven't had a whole lot of experience, the bigger the jewelry or the bigger the bling, especially if it's the real thing and not fucking cubic zirconia stained red to imitate a ruby- the more expensive the tool will cost to use. But usually the better quality of work they do. But this was not "usual business" this really was serious and potentially deadly. So you got lucky by catching my interest and I'm sure Falicia will be relieved to know that I will be handling this for her personally. I've taken bullets for her before in the past and I'll pass through hail, rain, sleet, snow, magma, whatever- for her and for her familiy. But in the future- If you need "a snake in the grass", you should also know to not send a black mamba when a garden snake will do. You still follow? The right tool for the right job. Each tool in here- to you and to the untrained eye- they may all look alike. But trust me, some of us have gained a little speck of rust here and there, some of us are very shiny, either because we polish ourselves to mirror finish or are shiny because we’ve never been used before, much less, just fresh out of the box and brand new to the tool box and the tool shed. And if you’re going to be a real subcontractor, and a regular one at that- you’ll need to learn the difference between us all. And usually, the more disastrous the problem, the more tools you’ll need to fix it and the more sophisticated those tools will need to be to fix it too because your problems may not be just a leak in a pipe causing mold. It may need tools from carpentry, drywall and plumbing in addition to hazmat for the mold. You still with me?” You furthered.

“Yes.” He nodded.

"Next thing. Especially if you’re the person who fucked up and made a mess and are sent into this toolshed to find the right tools to fix it. But even if it’s not your problem, if the contractor trusts you enough to be their subcontractor to come into this tool shed and into this tool box to select a tool. Open up the bid or offer- whichever term you prefer- to read it yourself. Because sometimes some contractors will slip extra things into it- and either won’t tell you to protect you so you can claim that you had no idea what you were doing or what you were involved with if what we do in the shadows ever comes into the light." You advised him.

"But mostly, because you're Falicia's husband, you probably got a pass on this one because of how close and entrenched into the family you are and will continue to be. But I’ve also seen when subcontractors fuck up bad enough, that they are sent into a particular tool shed that’s really more of a slaughterhouse. And the bid is really to actually kill the messenger." You warned him, because for Falicia's sake, you felt he was owed that much at least.

"So that kind of blind faith and blind obedience can get you killed when it's not earning you faith and trust from your father in law or in this case- your contractor. It almost did tonight because even though you followed protocol, because you were so new, I almost thought you were a trap sent in here to try to snare either myself or any of the other tools and when i saw your father in law's seal, I worried that the whole familiy had already been compromised and completely poisoned by that food poisoning and I didn't want that to cross contaminate this place. This is our place of business, this is where we earn a living and every tool shed that has to shut down, the tools, when they're not caught in the crossfire, have to be shuffled and sent to other tool sheds to keep them as tools. Which is again, very dangerous and obviously deadly. But I'm telling you this because it has happened in the past and it can happen again. Which I'm sure Falicia and her father could tell you all kinds of stories about. So, again, if you ever have to do this again, know the job, so you select the right tool. Because there are some tools here that flock to amatures and take advantage of their inexperience to ask for more pay, more perks from the establishment, more everything just to get ahead and fatten up their own bottom lines at your expense. And Falicia is my friend and I would never dream of doing her or her family dirty just because you’re brand new baby level of new to this. Ok?” You emphasized.

“Right, makes sense.” He nodded in understanding.

“Also, if and when you learn how to first- talk shop- meaning you- plainly talk about the problem and plainly ask for solutions. There are some tools that don’t even like talking shop. They prefer to “talk dirty” in euphemism and metaphor, because talking plain shop can make people uneasy. Because usually plants will talk plain shop because when they can’t talk dirty and talk dirty right- their lives are on the line. And they are just in this tool box looking for a dirty tool. So when you have graduated from talking shop to “talking dirty”, make sure you can speak it fluently and make sure you completely and fully understand what each thing means. And don’t let your mouth make promises that you- as a subcontractor and not a full contractor yourself, have the authority to offer or say in the first place. I’ve seen too many subcontractors just trying to secure enough tools for “a build” or “a repair” or “a problem” that they weren’t authorized to say or offer. And it costed the contractor way too much than the subcontractor themselves were worth. which lead to those subcontractor's demise. Hopefully this is the one and only time we ever have to meet in person and face to face unless I'm pulled into to act as your shield to protect you and Falicia and any little kiddos you may have along the way. But if you do ever get to have the privilege to come in here again, look for me if I’m not otherwise occupied. Now that I know your face and your connection. We can build rapport with each other and learn to trust each other for a more fruitful working relationship." You offered your hand for him to shake.

“Thank you. I’ll tell Falicia you said hi and tell her that you told all me this as a favor to her, which I'm sure she'll appreciate because my father in law only told me just enough to get me in here, and it was like plunging a kid into the deep end of the pool to see if I would sink or swim." He admitted as his blush started to fade and he reached for his wine and gulped it down.

"But, wait, if you’re such good friends, how come you didn’t come to the wedding?” He asked as an afterthought.

“Did you have all of your computers and laptops lined up at the wedding or reception to show everyone there how you laundered all that money for them and exactly which computers you used to do it with?” You asked with a tilt of your head and a sympathetic grin.

“Ah, I see. No. No I didn’t.” He shook his head no.

“Same thing. Tools should be kept safe from the weather and elements in a toolbox and in a tool shed until they need to be used. It’s safer for everyone involved. Thus- why contractors have subcontractors- it gives everyone a sense of safe anonymity. Usually the only times the tools see the contractors themselves- is when there’s a problem big enough they need the whole toolbox and the whole tool shed to fix. Because remember, tool sheds can hold many, many tool boxes and each tool box is for usually reserved to fix various kinds of work- like how a plumber's tool box is specifically stocked with special plumbing tools. Just like there are carpentry tools, drywall tools, roofing tools, plumbing tools, same thing. And then there are just “general tools” that you can use for anything and everything. And it takes a lot for a tool to be counted trustworthy and universally applicable enough to make it to that utility tool belt if you catch my drift.” You explained.

“I see, so, just out of curiosity, if I had needed to "talk dirty" to you about this, what would I have said?” He asked curiously.

“You would have said "That we should get on a plane and go to a five star all inclusive resort and get room service with a view and ask for our room to be scrubbed extra clean because the last maid got sloppy with the room service and you have to watch out for food poisoning.” You answered.

“Oohh.” He nodded.

“Ok, that makes sense, I think.” He answered as he blinked a few times as he gave his brain a moment to process that.

“Well, it was a pleasure to do business with you. As always please send my thanks and regards to your father in law and of course to your divinely gorgeous bride Falicia. And stay in the honeymoon phase as long as you can. And try not to make any more mistakes, especially of the "stupid" variety. Especially onces that could lead to the whole family getting food poisoning if you catch my drift.” You offered. Then you stood, which prompted him to stand with you and you firmly shook his hand and left the booth, while the busboy quickly cleaned the room and got it ready to be put back into use by another subcontractor.

You got his pocket square from the doorway's number and folded it in a peculiar way, because how it was folded and placed into the pocket also had meaning to the contractor.

“Don’t forget to grab a bite to eat and get another drink for the road before you go. If this place was a public restaurant, it would get a 3 Michilan star rating. Most subcontractors usually eat before they get down to business.” You offered to him as you gestured to the bar and the variety of tables below you that various other members were enjoying a meal at.

“Will do. Thanks again Valincia.” He offered as he shook your hand again which got you to giggle. Oh sweet innocent thing he was.

#kinktober #kinktober 2022 #starsandskieskinktober #starsandskies #Kinktober Day 3 #Kinktober Day 3 Dirty Talk

10 notes · View notes

sitp-recs · 4 years ago

Note

Hello!! I hope you're well ☺️ I love and save all your Drarry fic recs and was wondering if you could do a rec list for Drarry fics that include well written OCs and who are actually important to the story. My example for this would be The Man Who Lived by SebastianL. Thank you and take care ♥️

Hi anon! I’ve seen better days but thanks for asking, hope you’re doing well! Erm I gotta admit that I don’t really keep track of OCs 😬 it’s nothing against them - I just don’t get too attached and since I usually avoid fics where they get romantically involved with Harry or Draco, I don’t think I’ve read many fics where they’re particularly important to the story. I’m listing just a few fics below (you prob already know them) but I’m sure my followers will be able to help with more recs :)

We Might Be Too Old for a Bildungsroman by @wellhalesbells (2015, Teen and Up, 21k)

Harry finds something he’s been looking for since the war’s end. Admittedly, the packaging’s a bit odder than he expected.

Here's The Pencil, Make It Work by ignatiustrout (2013, Explicit, 50k)

Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (2020, Explicit, 61k)

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what's he doing right, that Harry isn’t? Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years. And that’s what starts it all.

Headlights in the Snow by Saras_Girl (2016, Mature, 71k)

What’s big and purple and smells like tea? Harry is about to find out.

Wild by orphan_account (2016, Explicit, 92k)

“No,” Harry said, by way of greeting. Malfoy’s blonde head rose slowly, carelessly. “Get out.”

“I feel as though we’ve already established this, Potter,” Malfoy responded. “And I feel that what we established was that you telling me to get out of places really doesn’t make me more likely to vacate them.”

I Am Not Who I Became by mab_di (2019, Explicit, 93k)

Draco left England after the trials and has travelled the world meeting wizards and Muggles from different cultures and with vastly different relationships to magic, each other, and the natural world. Now he's a fisherman in Finland on commercial vessels. Harry has been struggling since the war and has become a recluse while trying to write his autobiography. An invitation to the Hogwarts class of 1998's 15th reunion isn't welcomed by either of them, but neither could predict how the night, and their reunion, will upend their lives.

All Missing Things (Can Be Found) by daisymondays (2017, Explicit, 100k)

After a drunken hook up ends badly, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy have no intention of ever speaking again -- but when they're assigned to solve a case of young child disappearances, they have to put their past behind them.

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (2013, Mature, 114k)

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (2018, Explicit, 234k)

Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along. As Draco reckons with his ex-wife's infidelity and questions about his own sexuality, he finds himself going to an openly gay Potter for guidance. As their friendship deepens, Draco realizes that there is quite a lot that Potter can teach him. And that he is surprisingly ready to learn.

Foundations!verse by Saras_Girl (2013, Explicit, 264k)

Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

Tales From the Special Branch by Femme (2017, Explicit, WIP)

When Gawain Robards asks him to form Special Branch seven-four-alpha, Harry Potter knows they'll have to work outside the confines of the law--even though they are the law.

Thanks for the rec @uggghhhwhy:

Taking Chances by @gracerene09 (2018, Explicit, 135k)

After the war, Draco disappeared and started over in America, vowing never to return to Great Britain and the fraught past he left behind. Unfortunately, when his mates convince him to sign up for an exchange programme for the last year of their Auror Training, Draco learns that he doesn't have much of a choice in the matter.

#anon #asks #drarry reclist #original characters

44 notes · View notes

gettin-bi-bi-bi · 5 years ago

Note

1. A lot of times on lgbtq media, I’ll see things that include all wlw but will be labeled as for lesbians. Like “lesbian term”, “this song for lesbians”, or they’ll be posts or media talking about “lesbian only” experiences that could apply to all wlw. What bugs me is that bc lesbian has a very strict definition, I really don’t feel included in these. Whereas “gay” is an umbrella term and I often feel like I wouldn’t have these problems as a bi man cause I feel like gay covers me.

2. Lesbians of course have their own things, but I’m only talking about stuff that def includes all wlw but is called “lesbian”. Like “lesbian” couples that may have a bi women in them. I feel like there’s this split between communities bc any time I see a bi girl use the term lesbian(not as a label; for anything else) there gets so much crap thrown. While I know bi men prob feel that same sometimes, gay is such a universal term that I don’t see it as much. Idk if that’s invasive of me to feel

disclaimer: I was typing and typing and.... this kinds turned into a rant so. Take it or leave it, I don’t know how much sense I’m making. You know, up until ~50-60 years ago the word “lesbian” just meant every woman who had sex with women. That 100% included women who also had sex with men. (Note that at the time those labels were about sex acts and not about an identity based on attraction.) So many lesbians back then were what we would now call bisexual or pansexual.

However, lesbian separatists and “political lesbians” (basically the OG radfems) decided that a true lesbian should not have anything to do with men. And thus they started to exclude bisexuals from lesbian spaces and terminology and we were forced to make our own community. Which we did.

Now in the last couple years, especially on tumblr, there’s been this attempt to “reunite” lesbians and bisexual women into a shared community called “wlw” or “sapphic”. Unfortunately there’s still lesbian separatists. And that’s how you get entire campaigns on tungle dot hell where people recycle radfem rhetoric to tell bi women we aren’t “allowed to use butch/femme because those are just for lesbians” and other historic revisionism like that.

Most of the time I see people use “wlw” or “sapphic” it's bi/pan women who make that effort. And I notice a development in which the same thing happens to wlw/sapphic as it did to “lesbian” back in ye olden days: bisexuals are being told to keep their mouths shut about their male partners because “this is wlw safe space and this shouldn’t be about Straight Things” and as a result many think that “sapphic” is just a synonym for “lesbian”.

And note that this is all something that happens in relatively niche online communities like tumblr. When we’re looking at mainstream media then it’s a whole other piece of cake because mainstream media, especially when created by and for cisgender heterosexuals, just doesn’t fucking care about these distinctions. Sometimes it’s “just” ignorance and not even malicous - they just really don’t know the difference. Sometimes (often times!) it’s textbook bisexual erasure.

Personally, I totally get how you feel. I don’t feel connected to the “lesbian community” at all. I have a couple of lesbian friends but I don’t engage in any lesbian community events (even though Berlin has plenty to offer). I don’t feel like I have anything to add there and frankly, I don’t feel like I can openly talk about the fact I am bisexual and dating a man.

Even terms like “wlw” and “sapphic” - even though I do use and appreciate the sentiment behind them - don’t really give me a sense of community or belonging. Maybe that’s also a generational thing. I also don’t feel like I have one type of attraction that’s sapphic and then another type of attraction that’s [insert adjective] for men (and another again for enbys?) - all of my attractions are bisexual so I don’t feel comfortable describing my attraction to women as “sapphic” bc it implies that it’s something different than my attraction to other genders. But again, that’s just my personal feelings. I don’t mind those terms and I don’t mind if someone would use those as umbrella terms for me or as identity labels for themselves - go for it. I just don’t feel any significant connection to them personally.

I’m also a petty asshole though so if some event or media or whatever is advertised as “lesbian* .... party / movie night / pride / book club” then I’m just like, well, I’m not a lesbian so that’s not for me, guess they’ll be missing out on getting to know me. And I get even more pissy when they add in small print “*also welcome to bisexuals” because if you wanna make an event for lesbians and bi women then why not advertise it as that? Putting us in parantheses or small-print is at best tone-deaf and at worst an expression of how little they value us.

Many lesbians aren’t actively biphobic and would never want to exclude us and would actually genuinely welcome us. So, don’t take this as me slagging off all lesbians. However... many, especially the younger ones, are still incredibly oblivious to the history of their own label (because radfems work very hard at erasung that history so it doesn’t include bi and trans women) as well as ignorant about the struggles that bisexual women have to face in particular both in mainstream society as well as within the LGBTQIA+ community. They often don’t realise how alienating it is for us to always only being an after-thought at best. Which is kinda hilarious given that they often (rightfully!) voice the same criticism when everything is made about cis gay men and lesbians are just the after-thought.

So long story short: I get it. It sucks. That being said, bisexual men also face a lot of issues and biphobia affects them in some specific gendered ways that are also pretty shitty. They really don’t have it better or easier then other bisexuals when it comes down to biphobia.

Now, you can either say “fuck it, lesbian stuff is for me, too” and ignore all the separatism and basically reclaim your rightful place in this community. Or you can stick to the bi community and seek out media/events that are explicitly for all the queers.

Maddie

#I may have said this before but I'll put it here again:#I feel a stronger connection and can relate better to gay men than to lesbians #*shrug emoji*#Anonymous

10 notes · View notes

knoxhq · 4 years ago

Text

► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄

hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!

also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell

basics.

full name: knox hale drury.

nicknames: drury.

age: twenty two.

gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him

sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.

major: political science.

housing: moriarty.

backstory.

triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).

nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.

it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about.

no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance.

knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.

that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could.

he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.

and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.

the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by.

it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car.

he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point.

for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.

study.

so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK

like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.

he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side

that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.

regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them.

bt like again he’s baby

like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig

if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ

he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm

wanted connections.

friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.

best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty

frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!

enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.

flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10

exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )

roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk

other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)

#had:intro #bullying tw #police tw #arrest tw #incarceration tw #again i did nOT make him jj dont worry dfsahjfd #also this intro is bad pls do not look at me #alcohol mention

4 notes · View notes

survivorbehemoth · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 15: "congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!” - Jules

congrats daisy for winning season 7 of celestial: behemoth!

________________________________________________________________

JIOFEOJIFEWOJIWOJI THAT SOUNDS SO BITTER BUT DYLAN SIR U HANDED HER THE GAME! HANDED IT TO HER! GOD! and its what she deserves!

________________________________________________________________

anyways. let it be known this was NOT MY FAULT.

________________________________________________________________

let the record show, before last night's tribal, I SAID SOMETHING WAS NOT SITTING RIGHT WITH MY SPIRIT!!!!!!!!!! AND???? what happened. look what happened.

Vocaroo

Vocaroo 2

Video

Vocaroo

Vocaroo 2

Vocaroo 3

Video

________________________________________________________________

still practicing my slide puzzles WJIJIEFIJWJIFIFWJEJWIEEJWIF

OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME I HATE THIS GAME!!!

this final 4 is absolutely amazing and i literally love all of them so much, but that just makes things 10x worse. i think that playing my idol on daisy was a huge risk and the fact that it is now a final 2 makes things a bit more interesting. my ideal plan was to have daisy in the final 4 with me so that i wouldnt be the next target, but now that she won immunity it just didnt work out how i intended at all!!

voting out jules and szymon is purely going to come down to which one of them will sway my way and it's going to hurt to send one of them to jury no matter what, but i just feel like i came all this way and not making top 3 would just suck so badly. so yeah, this sucks. i hate that no matter what i do im going to be upsetting people and hurting feelings but... i guess that's just the game! at this point im not even sure if i can win against daisy but it seems like she will take me, it just depends on whether or not i stay loyal to her if i win FIC or if i take whoever is with me in final 3.

much to think about, BUT I JUST CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR !!!!

Video

________________________________________________________________

Jules is voted out 3-1. She becomes the 8th member of our jury.

Watch the Cast Assessment take place below:

youtube

Video

Vocaroo

Video

________________________________________________________________

Szymon is voted out by Daisy. He becomes the final member of our jury.

Video

idk thought this would be cute to include my voting log and stuff hehe <3 https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RiA0RUWX4TRpqBTgRzLJJ3fHu2jBqZ-bCJozFd3HcRs/edit?usp=sharing

Jules: https://youtu.be/6zKeJuOJKeY

https://youtu.be/5dV_-X6Rv2U

https://youtu.be/N5tnq-4QAT8

someone (zach) asked me to rank the jurors from nicest to meanest...so here we go. ily all <3 <3

1. seamus (this will def come as a surprise, but seamus was the most levelheaded and nice one on the jury. he really never made a bitter comment even though he had every right to, especially at me/daisy/dylan and really anyone who was in after him except chips. like. he was the only person to reach out in pms after and it was immediate, he really comforted me and i really admire men who can have like good relationship w/ women that are platonic??? i know he's been like terrible in the past and i did call him on some stuff in hydravivor and ill be the FIRST to admit that i called him a crackhead on a daily basis but i think he's grown a lot!!!!!! idk. i think he's also the MOST self aware!!!! im a seamus stan, what about it?)

2. brandan (while brandan was kinda irrelevant game wise this season -- but not in our hearts -- he was very objective and a peacemaker. he had good reason to be MIA too so the fact that he got as far as he did means to me that he did form some strong social connections. and he did!!! with me, i think w/ conor, so idk, he had a role like i did in the game imo. i really liked him and he really brought a fresh perspective on things!!!)

3. szymon (he's only not ranked higher bc he's pissed off rob and he stands his ground a lot more outwardly than the first two, at least in the jury chat. also he's not had as much time as a juror. but even then, i think szymon is not a bad guy like some of the ppl make him out to be. like, idk, i think he made a mistake on a game level and he even admitted it and idk he's a legend. truly. im so glad to have met him and i think he was a really nice juror to have around while he was ACTUALLY around bc he stood up for me/daisy the way seamus did)

4. lovelis (lovelis makes some pointed comments but.....he's not dumb at all and so i don't think he's been bitter. also his pointed comments have been funny and mostly radiating the energy of the other Bitter Jurors so idk. i really like him on a personal level as well and have for a while so idk. i dont KNOW KNOW him but he's never been the type to make harsh comments without them having some merit to them. so i kinda trust his judgement even though he wasnt in the game long/an early merge boot. idk i think he's open minded enough and he's also someone who admits when he's done a Lil Too Much but he's really lovely. just competitive.)

5. chips (i dont think chips is MEAN per se, in fact, i dont think he has a mean bone in his body on a personal level. like WFIJFJIFWE I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT HES SO FUCKING NICE!!!!!!! but thats why it's so funny to see him in games bc he's a lil lying, a lil backstabby and sometimes he's a lil passive aggressive. but its not undeserved. its also a pisces thing WEFJIEIEJWEFJIWEF i think what i saw in the jury house was sometimes chips going along w/ things, but i dont know, i really do not know much about chips game and ill probs ask him more afterwards?? but idk he was REALLY nice to me tho so FWIJFWEWFIFW i just dont trust him in games.......i dont know whats on his mind half of the time......)

I WANNA SAY FOR THE NEXT 3 MEN THEYRE HEAVILY INFLUENCED BY THEIR FIRE SIGN PLACEMENTS SO while i know some of them do hold resentment, its a lot easier to deal with and work with and with all 3 of them we've talked it out with/are going to talk it out. only #8 has been the MOST stubborn but idk imma let him do his thing & try not to pass too much judgement u know cause i dont need to waste my braincells on that

6. conor (knowing conor's astrological placements makes this make sense to me. but i wanna say that i think he's the type of leo to like be upfront, get it out, vent, and be fine? which is why i respect him a lot and i think we do have a mutual respect for each other. some of the comments he made were kinda rude tho and him fake liking astrology for social game was SO UGLY TO ME!!!! like i'll clown him for it for as long as i know him now cause....JOKE'S ON HIM!!!!!!! WJOEFWEOWEFO but that was kinda mean but def conor's come around and seen the light / has also reached out to me to talk. he's also admitted he left a mean speech in sbbb9 and regretted it so i think he might just shoot off at the mouth a bit. but BETTER THE DEVIL U KNOW THAN THE ONE U DONT and i appreciate the transparency NOW as opposed to the fakeness of him saying he liked astrology for social game. THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!!!!! im a fan of leos tho and he's a leo moon like me. so. i think we'll be fine. )

7. rob (i actually really REALLY like rob on a personal level but i really do not know if i could play another game with him, at least survivor, id be open to playing bb. i think ill say that the best thing about rob is that he's also apologized, was one of the first to when i confronted them all, me and him have a good personal relationship tbh!! but some of the game comments he made were p harsh and he's definitely a lil bitter but again, he's admitted it, i think while he's more up front -- i dont think i ever wanna be on his bad side in a game. EVER!!! cause we didnt even have any loyalty to each other in the game but he was SO harsh on my game like it was wild bc i dont think id ever be that harsh to ANY OF THEM ABOUT THEIR GAMES LIKE THAT???? anyways. its fine bc again he's apologized and he's owned it but PHEW he got a lil bit of a sharp tongue. really eloquent tho!!!!!!!!!!! love hearing him speak)

8. gage (last but least the southern belle himself................this man an aries and i dont know his other signs but him being an aries man is enough. they POP OFF!!!!!! a lot of times there's some truth to it, sure, but sometimes they just be popping off and FOR WHAT!!!!! i do understand gage's frustrations though but even he apologized for being too mean in HIS FUTURE FUCKING CONFESSIONALSSSSSSSS TO MEEEEEE so. idk. he's got an issue with letting things go in games and miss annajane calls him on a lot of BS and it does NOT seem to really knock him down but. gage is really wht u see is what u get, doesnt really own his faults but at least u kinda know where ur at w/ him. but he's still probs the meanest one in there but i do understand from a game level why he was so fucked up about it, especially after hearing FTC. its just that. i understand his position. BUT HE NEEDS TO TAKE A XANAX SOMETIMES I S2G GAGE I WILL GIVE YOU ONE!!! girl it is NOT that serious!!!!!!)

also forgot to mention that i admitted to gage that chris from s1 was NOT actually my brother and his jaw was on the floor <3 I GOT TO DO ONE TROLL THING RIGHT!!!!!! rip me/seamus' showmance serious!!!!!!)

okay just to add onto my last confessional -- the songs i think represent me best from this playlist game wise are: - perfect for you - punchin' bag - stayin' alive - flip - femme fatale/future nostalgia (for the girls alliance that never was....rip but also me/daisy at merge vibes) - X - the shortchange - TAKE ME AS I AM!!!!! THAT SONG IS THE ONE THATS BECOME MY SONG!!!! for this game especially!!!!! - over yet (the lyrics literally speak for themselves) - tough on myself (sorry for stealing ur song vincent) - seven devils - villains pt. 1 (i dont think i was a villain but i did stuff in this game that i usually dont and would consider villainous for myself FEWIWFEJIFEW i was in my feelings!) - passion & pain taste the same when i'm weak (me coming into the jury house and realizing they'd all snatched my wig w/ the edges and the glue.....i DID cry to this song for at least 2 hours! yes i did! WIFJWJIWEIJE) - tar ('under the stars -- pull yourself from the tar'. at the end of the day, this season was fucking stacked and there wasn't one person who was a bad player at all. at all.stars, if you will. i was under a lot of stars and from all the breakdowns in my game to me actually breaking down -- i GOTTA PULL MYSELF FROM THE TAR!!!! learn!! grow!! be better!!)

TOP 5 (not 'perfect for you'): - punchin' bag - take me as i am - over yet - tough on myself - tar

good for my whole journey imo!! the last 3!!! okay this is my ACTUAL last confessional okay thank u for everything!!! bye!!!

https://youtu.be/T5wRzWwlOp8

and here's my personal playlist for the org: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2E8KGCo1SrBgoJIQ9DycfM?si=96PWq-6ERCyisacQr3zPww

it is literally an hour and a half until the winner reveal and i really just have no idea what's going to happen. like in the back of mind i just have a feeling that im losing bc, yeah you know self-deprecation woo! but yeah idk i think i really gave this game my all and while i dont think i played it flawlessly, i still think i played a strong game i can be proud of :,)

having it be a live final tribal for my first ever like, jury questioning was just--- ugh wild but i actually think it went really well. just based on what people were saying it definitely seemed as if some of the jurors didnt really want to see me and daisy at the end or like, really werent consider voting for me but i think i was definitely able to sway some people who were willing to listen and definitely gave some of the jurors something to think about. so whether or not i win i do think that i had a really great final tribal performance, maybe it was even enough to sway enough people into giving me their vote?? WHO'S TO SAY

anyways this has been such a wild experience and it's surreal to think that it's ending in like, a little over an hour but no matter what happens i can say confidently that i will be able to look back on this season fondly and will be leaving it with my head held high bc I REALLY DID THIS LIKE!!! I REALLY MADE IT TO THE END!! WOW I STILL CANT GET OVER IT HAHAHA!! but yeah bye forever <33

Rob’s Last Video: https://youtu.be/X3krxxfJ3oo

________________________________________________________________

Daisy wins in a 7-2 vote!

#superspooky

1 note · View note

wheel-deal · 5 years ago

Note

Wheel !!! Hello!!!! :D Odd numbered questions, plus 2 and 16?

2. what are your pronouns? They/Them! but i understand people will call me she/her. im not that dysphoric about it it, but being called gender neutral stuff makes me <3

3. what is your gender presentation like?

I appear very woman like. I have big breasts and long hair. but i love dressing more masc. Super loud button up shirts are my new fav!!

5. what makes you feel validated?

When my boyfriend calls me his partner. >x<

7. favorite trans meme/bit of trans humor?

uuuuh idk. Thanks i chose my name myself or just owning things with trans in it. we own all transportation.

8. how did you pick your name? (answering this one bc i want to) i am just.... a name collector. i go by wheel, wheels here on tumblr. i have another username i use more than wheels but want to keep that separate from and off tumbr. at home i go by my birthname, but i have a name ive preferred since i was very little. Also when im given a name tag i often write BOB. Bob was my grandfathers name and i just like it. When i go to summer camp im always BOB. Also a name ive been fond of for a long time is Atlas. I think if i was a little more brave id go by Atlas, but for now i go by all the other ones.

9. what does your name mean? kinda hard to answer this one without giving my other names. but wheel-deal came from a particularly punny group chat. and i wanted to be the real-deal and im in a wheelchair :> I explained why i like BOB. I remember in my elementary school library they had this GIANT set of Atlases which is where i first saw the word, and i relate to the character Atlas holding the world on his shoulders... My other user name is my dads old college nickname. my mom passed it on to be when i was little trying to come up with a username for webkins or something xD. As for my preferred name i use irl now... i just always liked the sound of it. when my best friend and i would play make believe i would always use this name.

11. recent happy trans moment?

not really other than my boyfriend calling me partner unprompted. normally i have to remind him or prompt him to call me partner so that really made me cry

13. favorite canon trans character? (alt: 2nd favorite trans headcanon?) I dont think i watch many things with cannon trans characters unfortunately. The only one i can think of is Naomi? from Sense8 on netflix. But i love the headcannons of danny fenton (danny phantom), Jim Hawkins (treasure planet, fav movie), and Lars (steven universe)

15. favorite trans celebrity? All of the ones in POSE ?!

16. song that gives you Big Trans Feels? prob Im still here from treasure planet.

I am a question to the world, Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms. And what do you think you'd ever say? I won't listen anyway… You don't know me, And I'll never be what you want me to be. And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man. You can't take me and throw me away.

~~~

And I want a moment to be real, Wanna touch things I don't feel, Wanna hold on and feel I belong. And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same. They don't know me, 'Cause I'm not here. And you see the things they never see All you wanted, I could be Now you know me, and I'm not afraid And I wanna tell you who I am Can you help me be a man? They can't break me As long as I know who I am

~~~

They can't tell me who to be, ‘Cause I'm not what they see. Yeah, the world is still sleepin', While I keep on dreamin' for me. And their words are just whispers And lies that I'll never believe.

17. something you wish you could tell your younger self?

gosh. idk. all those feelings of maybe i should be a boy werent quite accurate, but all those feelings of not being a girl 100% were. and that being a tomboy will hurt later on when all your other tomboy friends hit puberty and go super femme. And HEY DUMMY YOU ARE ASEXUAL. you are not broken, its okay to not have crushes. hang in there. you will figure yourself out eventually. Oh and yeah when you first wanted a binder, dont let mom talk you out of it.

19. (how) does your gender relate to your sexuality?

AHAHAHAHAHA lets not open that can of worms bc thinking about this makes me cry a lot and question everything. Simply im here, im queer. i have a lot of love in my heart and polyamory is nice.

21. what makes you feel euphoric?

idk if i have felt real euphoria. but the feeling when i dress more masculine while still enjoying my long hair is pretty nice. makes me smile and feel more confident

23. claim something as trans culture.

uuuh baking? transformers? embroidered patches? idk my thude

25. what's your favorite part of being trans?

the same thing i love about being ace, the PUNS!!!

3 notes · View notes

vodcar · 6 years ago

Note

hi, i was wondering if u could expand on the post where u said lesbians can be nonbinary? if you have time/emotional capacity. or maybe just direct me to some resources? i IDd as a lesbian for a long time before realizing im not a woman but ive always struggled to give up the lesbian identity but now im wondering if maybe i dont have to. thanks for your post

hey!!! yeah i have lots of lesbian NB friends, and like im not a NB lesbian so probs not the best person to ask lol. my friend @hotcommunist is a good butch and a pillar of the community tbh and answers a lot of asks about a lot of things, maybe throw him an ask too? :0)so basically, and most importantly first off you can Just Be a NB lesbian if that’s your jam. if it feels right and feels like ur truth, then go for it! live it! You can work on understanding it later if u want? I did that w being a woman lol.One way of understanding it is to start with the realisation that ‘woman’ as a gender has been constructed in a heterosexual relationship to ‘man’ as a gender. So if you reject womanhood and also manhood, you can be NB. Similarly if a lesbian rejects the heterosexual relationships that make woman ‘woman’ and man ‘man’ (i.e. women are weak, men are strong. women are emotional, men are logical. women and men are meant to be together and only together) then in a way, you are rejecting what ‘woman’ has always been made to mean by heterosexual society.The theorist Monique Wittig carries this point onwards. She asks, without heterosexuality, what are women? Since ‘woman’ has only ever meant something heterosexually involved with men, then to be a lesbian, to reject heterosexual relations with men, means that you’re not a woman. She says: ‘Lesbians are not women’.Now I don’t know if i agree with Wittig 100% but i absolutely do see where her reasoning comes from, and I do love the freedom it brings.I would also look at other ways of doing gender. for example, instead of ‘lesbian’ being a description of their gender ‘woman’, lots of lesbians instead make the move to make ‘lesbian’ what matters most in their gender expression. In this way you are a ‘lesbian’ first and foremost and then you can consider if you are a woman or NB or something else.This is kind of hard to get your head around, but you can find examples in butch, femme, and stud expressions of gender in lesbian history and lesbian circles today. So for some stone butch lesbians, their gender expression and identity is Butch. Not woman, not man, not NB, but Butch. And Butch is explicitly a lesbian way of doing gender.Idk if any of that made sense? I’d recommend looking at lesbian history and gender-non-conforming lesbians in particular. Leslie Feinberg is an awesome figure to look at, and hir book Stone Butch Blues. (I haven’t personally read it, but I know its really sad so watch out and find some TW online if u can, sorry i can’t help out there.) More recently, the film Colette starring Kiera Knightley features a representation of what might be considered a lesbian relationship between Colette and Mathilde de Morny, a historical figure that sometimes went by the nickname ‘Missy’ and other times ‘Uncle Max’. De Morny occupies a place in history that is notable for her dressing exclusively in masculine clothes. She occupies a space in-between transgender history (of which she is a part as a gender non-conforming figure) and lesbian history (as she may be figured as a butch figure who is nonetheless not a man.) Most importantly, however is the long history of working-class butches who lived and breathed this life. To them, their most important aspect of their identity was being a butch and being loved as a butch. Questions over their ‘womanhood’ were secondary.I hope some of this helps and makes sense lol.

#lesbian #NB lesbian #grumpygrunkle

13 notes · View notes

solidburnreturned · 6 years ago

Text

by popular demand, here is my oc chatter regarding stuff like relationships n random character traits. its rly long oops but i divided it by character at least lmao,, these are all things that i think id also wanna use if i ever use these characters as humans (which i def will at some point honestly)

- i thinkkkk i want toad and pike to date. toad would come across pike in their lagoon one day while hes wandering around on another wonked exploration and pike is like hey lol :B with their pointy teeth and long ass hair and toad is like :0 he just sits and talks with pike for hours and comes by a few times a week to hang out with them. they fall in LOVE

- fred and lani are def gonna date too. two butches who use he/him pronouns fuck yeah? they have a powerful relationship. mega BDE. power couple. not a lot of pda but alone together theyre both very loving and tender, its a vulnerability thing for both of them. like lani is very cool and can be either stoic or borderline obnoxious while fred is punkish. fred is very head over heels for lani tho

- mardi n berg.....complicated....i gotta figure out how they actually end up together. berg is a jogger and mardi is a piercer/tattoo artist so that doesnt....make them line up very much in that department. ill think about it more and figure something out. itll probably have something to do with berg’s nose stripes and eye rings

- also side note on mardi......i want his backstory to include a grey period set off by his brother being eaten when they were both young at the troll tree. like he becomes angry and depressed, sorta like branch, his tattoos that he gives himself the only color on his body, until he learns to let go and his colors come back (high key this was inspired by 21 savage, mardi’s voice claim, and the line in his new song A Lot “my brother lost his life and it turned me to a beast”). ill develop this idea further but i just wanted to get it written down

- bismuth.......unsure. they had a crush on pepper and kept trying to ask her out until she came out to them as a lesbian, then they were like :’) but theyre ride or die theyre not gonna be an ass to her because they cant date her. they just care a lot about her. its like icarly

- gazpacho and jupiter CUTE two small trans trolls in That Love. i need to develop them more but. theyre just cute

- talia is still a little too new for me to develop her......but im thinkin about it...

- kinda same with ernie and olive. they kinda mostly just exist as cute babby characters right now? if anything olive is a trouble maker and ernie is a chatterbox

- clem and thursday also fuckin cute as hell......clem was a nervous wreck asking thursday out but theyve been together like ever since, which is more than a few years. they have a rly cute gentle lovey dovey relationship. thursday is usually hanging around up on her gf’s shoulder giving her kisses on the cheek

- bea and crystal.......adorabl relationship......crystal is another character thats kinda nervous but bea is so chill n confident is helps calm her down. theyre both trans and love the hell out of each other. rly slow n steady relationship, bea is very patient

- pj and marcus!!!! dumb mlm rep relationship. pj is so so gay for marcus he can barely comprehend it. its a dumb ego boost for marcus but hes also very in love with pj, he just expresses it in a weird cocky way idk marcus is a nerd. i need to make more content for them i think about these two way more than it seems

- dwight!! he has a boat. he lives on the boat.....ive thought about maybe pairing him with toad and pike. deciding on his voice claim has been the most difficult thing ever

- kass and current HELL yeah buff gf and tol gf......they spar with swords and wrestle for fun and hang out at the beach a lot. kass fuckin loves the gem on current’s back. i gotta make more content for them

- celia......i wanna do more with celia. friends with berg probs theyre both sporty. shes just a sweet giant troll who loves mushrooms. i gotta pair her with someone whose palette goes nicely with her pastels

- carrot and harriet are literally cricket and tilly from big city greens just older. yeehaw siblings. havent thought about relationship stuff with harriet yet.....i think she also needs ANOTHER redesign her colors are just too heavy still. maybe if i can make her colors compliment celia’s that could work as a pairing? hm hm.....carrot tho is dating ford’s oc rye theyre gentle country gays

- rainer. hm. i dont think theyre rly the dating type......theyre just chill with being them. they just wanna swim and be funny

- hammond and andromeda are probs two of my least developed characters.....hammond still needs a redesign. he might be cute to pair with walter, theyre around the same age. andromeda tho i have no idea. she might be a nice pairing with eve? if i ever feel like pairing her with someone...who knows. eve is very carefree and might find andromeda’s energy too intense

- radish i wanna make more content for!! i rly like her a lot....i think shes another troll who isnt interested in dating. shes very focused on being a chef instead. loves her friends a lot!

- mack and pepper 2gether 4ever obvs......they have a relationship that gets richer with age for sure

- im just gonna ramble about mack. i thinkkkkkkk i wanna make her half latina? columbian specifically. she doesnt quite read as white and i didnt make her with the intention of making her white. anyway i love mack a whole lot and should really develop her backstory more. its not rly as like...””tragic”” or whatever as pepper’s i know that but she def has layers. i wanna give her whole family more depth. she has a very complicated relationship with her own feelings and motivations that i need to think about more fully. my powerful femme tho i lov her

- mack’s parents, robin and champagne, i need to like....think about them more. they have kinda a comedic relationship thats sorta inspired by roger rabbit and jessica rabbit. robin is a very caring, gentle troll who’s very smart and cares a lot about his nursing responsibilities in the village. champagne is very relaxed and the “voice of reason” character of the family. she loves a good party and has her party planning down to a science. both are very successful power parents. kickass family

- i already talked about topaz and marney in a separate post but i still love them both so much. big wesbiabs

- pepper....pebber. im gonna talk about her the most obviously gfhjdkrs i wanna talk about her mental health i feel like i think about it a lot but i never write about it explicitly? this is gonna be long oops hgjfksd she has depression and ptsd stemming from the trauma of her crash...im thinking she also has adhd and thats just something shes always had. her depression rly got heavy during her recovery and right after like...she hated being bed/housebound and felt rly powerless to her situation and just let it eat at her until her personality had actually changed considerably. like extroverted wild child rebel to introverted, soft-spoken sulker. this got better with time but she still is pretty introverted, just turned her moodiness into chill energy.

- she has bad depression habits like letting dishes, old food, laundry, or just stuff pile up in her room until it gets overwhelming and she spends like two days just manically cleaning; or staying in bed for way longer than she should and messing with her hygiene; or eating way more or way less than she should eat in a day. just stuff thats hard to completely break out of when youre recovering. her color is pretty consistently the dark red but if shes having a particularly rough day she might look a little paler, or like a muddy brick color at her worst. thats kinda rare tho

- her ptsd is the thing she hates the most. for a while it made her feel very weak and she’d beat herself up over being traumatized by the crash which was obviously not helpful to her mental state but she was really all over the place during her bodily recovery. its part of the reason why she started working out, she wanted to reclaim some sort of feeling of strength and power that she felt she’d lost completely. she still gets really frustrated with this feeling of loss but she gets a lot of support from loved ones which has helped her not self-blame so much. her ptsd manifests mostly as nightmares/insomnia, chronic headaches/stomachaches, intrusive thoughts and sometimes flashbacks. the nightmares are what rly get to her, she really doesnt get a lot of good sleep and it can get to the point where she just doesnt want to sleep sometimes and she’ll stay awake until she crashes hard

- her scars used to be a big trigger for her ptsd, which is why she has her bangs covering the one on her face and wears long pants (her knee braces are too bulky for pants and would force her to wear shorts which would force her to expose her scars). she just. really really hates them. this is something she struggles with for a majority of her life

- once she and mack start going steady with their dating and start consistently sleeping in the same bed, pepper starts to sleep better. she still has nightmares that wake her up at least weekly, but having mack there to comfort her (whether she wakes mack up accidentally or if mack is already awake) helps a TON with getting her back to sleep soundly. it also just helps her sleep in general to have that comforting, loving presence in her bed snuggled up to her ;w; mack is a big help in general with pepper’s mental health, pushing pepper to make better, healthier choices and get out in the village more and have fun. mack for sure does not “”cure”” pepper of anything but shes a very positive light in pepper’s life that helps her pull thru tough times!

- i love all my goofy trolls so much. its so fun to just chill and blab about them to relax between working on big projects ;o; ty if u cared enough to read this whole thing ur so rad

#writing about my hooligan troll ocs is so relaxing #like im not overly invested its just something fun to think about and thats just very nice #txt #oc #oc rambles #ill tag it as that so i dont lose this #trolls #long post

6 notes · View notes

ichibri · 6 years ago

Text

@supernovaecastaway Okay, here's a bit (or a lot, oops) about my wip novel "Prince of Hell" that's I've been developing for 7ish years now. But first, just a heads up that there's lots of dark themes in it including: murder, suicide, self-harm, torture, abuse, sexual assault, mentions of pedophilia, etc. It's about hell and demons, folks, so it's not always so pretty. Also, lots of religious/mythology undertones. Okay, warnings aside, here we go. Under the cut cause it got long

There are three separate, parallel planes that make up this world - Heaven, Earth, and Hell. They're all connected by one ruler, that being whoever possesses the Tablets of Destiny. Currently that's the Almighty (God, pretty much. But because every person has different beliefs and views them differently, the Almighty goes by many names and takes many forms, pretty much whatever name/form the person looking at them believes in). And then we have Lucifer who rules Hell and is plotting to steal the Tablets to gain control of Heaven and Earth, because he's power hungry and is sick of having to bow to the Almighty and their archangels. But the story doesn't actually focus on Lucifer. His plotting is from the background and slowly builds until it collides with the main character's story (which I'll get to). Okay, but world building. So Heaven and Hell are built on death and sin. Everyone dies and everyone has sin. Even the tiniest baby and the sweetest old lady have sin. So everyone is punished. Whether they lived a godly life or have blood-stained hands, their journey of death starts in the bottom layers of Hell (There's 10 layers altogether. The top 3 are residential/agricultural/livable layers, but the bottom 7 are various levels of punishment). The greater the sin, the harsher the punishment (torture, pretty much). And the whole idea is that the human souls must ascend through the layers of punishment while keeping their souls intact. Once their penance is payed, they're allowed into Heaven as angels and given a chance at reincarnation if they so choose. But if their soul breaks down under the torture, they mutate into beasts and become demons that are stuck in Hell (and if they're devoured by other demons, it's over for them. They die die and their soul doesn't get to return to Earth). The whole idea of the punishment system is to reward the good and ensure "pure" souls continue the cycle of life by eventually returning to Earth. But that system is greatly flawed. Because it doesn't judge goodness. It judges how strong someone's soul is. For instance, a child's greatest sin could be stealing a candy bar from a store. That's about a level 2 punishment. But their soul is young and fragile and more easily broken. So they end up in Hell. Whereas a serial killer could have a soul of steel. They are so unbreakable in their depraved ideals that they survive the punishment and are given sanctuary in Heaven. And in most (if not all) modern religions, the greatest sin someone can commit is suicide. So level 7 punishment - the harshest, practically unsurvivable torture - is reserved for the souls who are already vulnerable. It's a flawed, rigged system, and it leads to lots of morally gray characters. And as the main chara finds out throughout the story, nothing is as black and white as it seems. Okay, gonna move on to the main five characters cause I could babble forever about the structures of Hell and Heaven, basically yeah, Hell isn't all bad and Heaven isn't rainbows and unicorns. Some would argue, they'd prefer Hell.

Angelo

Our main character. Nicknamed Angel by Pantera as a rude joke that eventually sticks and turns into a term of endearment. He's a human who didn't actually die, per se. One night, he and a buddy (Ryan, his crush) got drunk at a college party, and because Ryan was far more wasted, Angelo was the one to drive them home. Only, it was icy and snowing and they crashed. Ryan was dead on impact, and in his guilt, Angelo begged to trade his life for Ryan's. Normally, that wouldn't be enough to summon a demon, but it was the night of the December solstice (one of the days - along with Walpurgis Night, Halloween, and the solstices and equinoxes - in which demons can freely cross into Earth).

So Angelo sells his soul to a demon and he's taken to Hell to be auctioned off (Souls are mainly seen as pets/property in Hell, a luxury as well because the contracted souls never go through punishment. They're often used for "entertainment" or labor or plain old devouring). Angelo was on the fast track to being a warty old frog demon's toy before Prince Ian swooped in and quietly saved his ass.

Thus begins Angelo's everyday life in Hell, and he slowly discovers the demons around him aren't as scary and cruel as he expected they'd be.

And he's got a plot line of growth where he realizes he probably shouldn't have thrown his life away for Ryan (because Ryan wouldn't have done the same for him, which he finds out when he uses an oracle pool to check up on Ryan). He gradually finds that love he was looking for in Ian. They have one of those relationships were they start as friends and then they see the other doing something utterly mundane and think "god, I'm in love with him."

Prince Ian

One of Lucifer's chosen heirs (There's 50 altogether. They work in the punishment levels and are encouraged to devour and fight among themselves so that only the strongest survive. If one dies, they're quickly replaced with another demon. It all ties in with Lucifer's secret plotting to steal the Tablets).

I'm gonna be honest. His human name is Ian, but it's not what he goes by cause he doesn't remember his name/past life (which is common for newborn demons. As they devour souls and each other, they lose their beastly instincts and slowly remember themselves and their humanity, and their physical forms get less beastly and more humanoid too). Except he's not newborn. He was a contracted soul like Angelo, but Lucifer put him through the tortures of Hell to break him and mold him into a stronger general. Didn't really work. Pretty much just gave him anxiety, depression, and daddy issues.

But anyway, yeah, his original name was Prince Neko (I know, cringe. I was a much bigger dweeb in my early hs years when I first started working on this story). Ian is the character I've been overhauling the most, so I haven't picked a new name for him yet. But it'll probably still be cringy and cat related somehow, cause his demon form closely resembles a cat (again, he's getting redesigned, so nothing about his look is really set in stone yet), and Lucifer is the one who named him, and well, Lucifer is a dickbag. Like major pile of useless old dicks. [Edit - his new name is Kotě and yeah, he’s still got a cat design]

Anyway, Ian's story arc is pretty much about him trying to remember who he is and finding proof of his past, most recent life. Because Lucifer pretty much has him brainwashed into thinking he was this cruel, ruthless, bloodthirsty person. And although we see none of that in Ian's character (he's a soft, kindhearted soul), he's so lost as to who he is that he believes anything Lucifer tells him (he's got a stockholmy relationship with Lucifer).

Jagger

Femme nonbinary. In a polyamorous relationship with Murciélago and Pantera. Ian's attandant (similar to Angelo, Jagger was saved by Ian. As a newborn demon, they were almost devoured. Ian saved them, and they've been together ever since). Very stoic and loyal. One glare from them can shut up the nastiest of demons. But their bark is bigger than their bite. They're more of a 'knowledge is power' person than a 'punch first and ask questions later' person. They'd rather avoid and strategically retreat from physically combative situations than start a brawl in the streets.

Jagger's sin was murder. They killed their mother. They were already an adult when the incident happened, living and working on their own. They came home for a visit and noticed their little sister (like a 15yr age gap between them, so lil sis is about 12) was acting strangely. She was quiet, reserved, and flinchy where Jagger knew her to be this really cheerful and bubbly little kid. Jagger had a gut feeling something was wrong, so they starting coming around more often, dropping by unannounced to check in. And on one of those visits, they walk in on their mother beating their sister within an inch of her life, and Jagger grabs a kitchen knife and fights off their mom, eventually killing her. Jagger never knew their mom to be violent (she wasn't loving, but she never raised a hand to Jagger) so Jagger curses themself for not noticing sooner and for distancing themself in adulthood. Long story short, the lil sis went off to live happily with an aunt and uncle and Jagger was killed a short few weeks later in a prison brawl. Hence why Jagger would rather avoid altercations altogether, because they regret not getting to live out a life with their lil sis.

Jagger's character design is still up in the air. They're one that's getting a major makeover, so all I've decided on in is they're gonna be more beastly than I originally intended (sue me, Ima a monster fucker now, hs me would probs be appalled). [Edit - lol, yeahh did I say beastly?? More like furry, oops. They’re design is now based on a honey badger, so they maybe appear soft and cuddly, but when they bare their teeth, they’re quite rabid]

Prince Murciélago

Surprise, surprise, he's a bat demon. Nicknamed Ciel. But Pantera calls him Mercy (it's a sexual innuendo & others assume it's because Ciel begs for mercy in the bedroom but really, Pantera's the one doing the begging). He's pretty quiet and reserved, doesn't really stand out other than, you know, giant ass bat wings. But he comes off as lanky and frail, and physically, he is. But mentally, he's the one everyone comes to for comfort. He's the one dishing out heartfelt advice and a shoulder to cry on and the very best hugs.

And considering his sin was suicide, he's come a long way from the newborn demon who was broken and just looking for someone stronger to devour him (it was Pantera who he came across, and well, Pantera is a rough guy but he's not cruel. And long backstory short, Pantera and Jagger brought Ciel into their relationship and it become the 3 of them). As a human, Ciel was a poor rural farmer without much to his name. He struggled with depression and eventually decided to end his life by ingesting crop pesticides. But now, after finding a family with not only Jagger and Pantera, but also Ian and the rest of Pantera's faction (more on factions in a bit), Ciel is the mental strength of the group. And more often than not, he's the backbone holding everyone up.

Prince Pantera

My main squeeze, my man, the love of my life! And also the most quietly tragic character in the story (of course). Nicknamed Tera. Of the main five, he's been in Hell the longest (died the youngest tho). His design is based around a black panther. He's broad, hulking, just this crude, big buff burly beast of a dude. [Edit - his beef had been cut back a bit, lol. Imagine a Shiro-level of buffness. Broad shoulders, dorito-like, still beefy but not like muscle-head beefy] He's the muscle of the group, but surprisingly, he's not good in fights. Kinda sucks at them actually. He just knows how to take a punch so he ends up outlasting his opponents with stamina. But also gets the shit beat out of him along the way.

And okay, to understand most of his character and decisions, you have to know his human life (thus he comes off as a sketchy, ruthless and rather heartless guy at first). Pantera's sin was murder, and he was only 17. He was the eldest son of a single mother, and he had 2 little sisters and a little brother (ages between 7-10). After his father died, his mother remarried in order to keep the family afloat and have a breadwinner in the family (gotta remember, Pantera lived in an older era where woman stayed at home to raise the family). Anyway, his step-father was scum, downright fucking evil and deserved the torture kill that Pantera gave him. Because Pantera found out his step-father was molesting his younger siblings. His mother couldn't do anything to protect them, so Pantera took it into his own hands. And he tortured the guy. There's a scene where he's talking to Angelo about what humans consider sins to be (like being gay is a sin) and Pantera just says, "I'm not here cause I like to suck dick. I'm here cause I cut one off." So yeah, his sin was murdering his step-father. And a couple days after, Pantera was hunted down and killed by his step-father's gang of friends.

So now, Pantera's role is protector. He protects his found family, he protects the weak, he protects those who cannot fight for themselves. And he has no qualms about getting dirty and staining his hands in blood to do so. But there's more to his protection than just fighting and killing (altho, he's stationed in the level of Hell that rapists and pedos go to, and Pantera makes sure none of them get out of alive. When he fails to break one of their souls, he falls into this dark depression and those are days where Ciel becomes the backbone that supports Pantera the Protector).

But yeah, remember when I said Lucifer was a bag of dicks? He's downright scum. Lucifer comes off as this open minded, super accepting ruler of "be whoever you want to be". But there are no boundaries to that. Wanna be a rapist? Lucifer has no qualms with that, cause he is too. Wanna kill every soul you come across? Go for it, no one's gonna stop you. And when Lucifer wants something, he gets it. He's known to prey upon his heirs and take them to bed whether they want to or not. Pantera's experienced it and has heard gruesome tales from other heirs. So Pantera's protections extend to protecting Ian and Ciel from Lucifer's sexual appetite. Meaning Pantera takes their place. It's one of many deals he has with Lucifer, because Pantera would rather he suffer and be hurt than to allow anyone he loves to go through it again.

But those deals he has with Lucifer are hidden. Because he has lots of other deals where the nasty, cruel jobs meant for Ciel, Ian, or other weaker heirs are given to him instead. He also has one where he became Lucifer's dog to ensure his siblings souls didn't go through punishment and got a fast track to Heaven (despite knowing that meant he would never get the chance to see them again). So there are scenes where Angelo believes Tera is betraying the group because he sees the two in hushed and/or suggestive conversations, but it's really just Pantera making sure his family remains safe and whole, even if that means sacrificing himself to keep it that way. And okay, I could go on forever about Pantera and how much he's willing to give up for his family, but on to the factions of Hell.

Factions

There are 3 main factions among the heirs. The leaders are Pantera, Toro, and Anzu. (Lucifer names his heirs, it's part of breaking them down to groom them into his generals. And only the strongest generals inherit the names of old (like Anzu, Azazel, Bahamut, etc.)).

Pantera's and Anzu's factions are constantly at each other throats, because Pantera's believes in the strong protecting the weak because everyone, regardless of status or power, deserves to live a peaceful life. They believe in helping your fellow demon and giving to those that need it. And his faction isn't afraid to get their hands dirty to protect those beliefs and ensure the safety of all.

But Anzu's faction follows Lucifer's belief, but to an even more extreme. They believe in the strong conquering the weak and taking whatever they want. They thrive off chaos and cruelty. They prey on anyone who's vulnerable, including members of their own faction. Think of them like the people in The Purge movies who go out and murder everyone instead of just getting a months worth of free groceries.

Lastly, there's Toro's faction. They are neutral. Their belief is every demon for themself, they don't really care unless it personally affects them. Mainly, they just want to remain out of the cross-hairs of the power struggle between Pantera and Anzu. But when push eventually comes to shove, most chose to align themselves with Pantera's faction.

And the factions eventually play a role in Lucifer trying to steal the Tablets. Which is why Lucifer tends to fan the flames between them, because again, he greatly encourages in-fighting to assure only his strongest generals remain at his side. But the split of the factions will determine whether he succeeds, because lets be honest, Pantera would rather hand control of Hell over to an archangel (he hates archangels okay, they treat demons like garbage even though most the archangels have worse sins than the demons) than let Lucifer rule the entirety of their three worlds.

And okay, bonus character!

Princess Zaba

That’s her as a little clay charm I made. She’s a tiny little dart frog demon (like only 2cm tall). She wears cloaks that Ciel makes for her, and she lives in a little vivarium made up like a dollhouse. Her sin was suicide. She felt her existence didn’t matter, and now she’s so small that most demons don’t even notice her. She covers up her insecurities with sarcasm though, and is close friends with the main five (especially Pantera). She likes riding around in their pockets.

And okay, that’s all for now, lol. It’s long enough, and honestly, I had a hard time congesting it to just this. Cause trust me, I could on and on about this story and it’s characters for hours. I just love them so much.

#my writing #my characters #listen this project is my baby #and after wpwt is done I'll be focusing on this and my other original centaur novel

4 notes · View notes

gocatboygo · 6 years ago

Note

1-50 for Sarsaparilla?

ohhh my god skfjskdf sarsaparilla has no development whatsoever this is gonna be a blast and a half

1) which faction did they side with (NCR, legion, yes-man, or house)?

she sided with the legion from the time she saw vulpes in nipton bc Romam Armor Look Cool, cured caesar of his tumor & everything, and then just before the battle of hoover dam, assassinated caesar and sided with yes-man. she realized about halfway through her work for caesar that siding with the legion was never going to pay off and decided to Fool Him TM and then take vegas for herself

2) preferred armor?

OOF probably like… leather armor sdkfjsdk i dont know. she wore the tribal raiding armor at the very beginning of the game. she doesnt wear the legion uniform but i imagine her w some Legion Accessories TM like a mark of caesar on her chest or something

3) melee, guns, energy weapons, or unarmed?

melee babey

4) highest skills? secondary skills? lowest skills?

her highest skills are melee, stealth, and medicine (she polishes that up real nice when she realizes caesar has cancer). secondary skills are explosives and lockpick. lowest skills would have to be barter and survival :/

5) SPECIAL stats?

im just guessing at this point bc i dont remember them skdfjkd but i would say ST:5, PE:6, EN:4, CH:4, IN:6, AG:9, LK:9

6) what are their perks?

black widow, cherchez la femme, friend of the night, cannibal, scrounger, ninja

7) favorite companions? least favorite companions?

literally no one will hang out w her bc she’s legion ksdfjsd. she takes boone as a companion at the very beginning of the game and then she has to kill him. her fave would probably be cass, or raul, who is the Only Mf who will talk to her

8) any romantic partners? how do these relationships begin and end? are they healthy?

she thinks vulpes is hot for 0.2 seconds but she also thinks that about violet, gloria van graff, and some securitrons so i wouldnt worry about it

9) gender / sexuality / ethnicity / species / etc.?

cis female / bi / asian / human ((i just realized all my couriers are cis even though im trans as hell sdkfjsdkfsdj yikes))

10) where were they born/raised? when/why did they leave?

she doesn’t remember anything from b4 the bullet but she’s from new reno. she left because it’s new reno.

11) when, why and how did they become a courier? how long did they remain a courier before benny shot them?

she needed work after she left home and delivering packages didn’t seem terrible. she did it for like 2 years max before she got shot

12) how did the bullet affect them?

took out most of her memories (including her name) and sort of scrambled her good sense. she doesn’t feel very much fear, restraint, or remorse anymore, which is why she’s been doing All This recently

13) how did they deal with benny?

seduced him, slept with him, killed him in his sleep, and took his roomba yes-man

14) what’s their reputation with the ncr / the legion?

the ncr - fucking horrible she can barely go on the strip sdjfskdsd. pile body upon body babey. / the legion - superb. sparkling. if she weren’t a woman they’d even stop insulting her

15) what do the people in freeside think of them? the followers, the kings, the garrets, the van graffs?

the followers aren’t a fan of her because of all that legion business. the kings like her because she takes care of rex. the garrets generally dislike her. the van graffs like her a lot because she let them kill cass & did all their quests

16) what’s their reputation with goodsprings / novac / primm? (i know primm reputation was cut from the game but like let’s pretend for a minute sdkfjd)

goodsprings: bad bc she sided with the powder gangers kdsfjs / novac: she did come fly with me so its lookin alright! / primm: very mixed bc she’s pro-powder ganger but she also got them a new sheriff (meyer)

17) what’s their reputation with the khans / the brotherhood / the boomers / the powder gangers?

the khans: she’s a Legion Ambassador… a shining monument of their new allies… Excellent and yet they know fuckall about her / bos: well she did blow up that whole bunker. / boomers: i dont remember / powder gangers: as i mentioned before she sided with them at goodsprings and made meyer a sheriff so they like her a lot. boxcars is happy to see her

18) what do the people on the strip think of them? the omertas, the white gloves, the chairmen, ncr military police, mr. house? do the gamblers like them?

the omertas: she did cachino’s quest so it’s pretty good / white gloves: idolized / chairmen: hey that’s the fink that killed benny / ncrmp: BAD / mr house: well considering the fact that she killed him, not excellent

19) what is their motive for taking vegas?

literally just ‘she wants to’. the whole point of this courier was that she’s a no rules run, she’s lost a lot after the bullet scrambled her brain and she’s literally just doing whatever she wants to do

20) do they have a theme song?

no :(

21) what do they look like? how tall are they? are they attractive? any piercings, tattoos, scars?

she has black hair in the “blast back” style. pretty short, like 5′4″. no piercings or tattoos (but she probably gets a legion brand at some point w like the mars symbol or something). there’s of course a bullet scar on her head, and a few around her arms and torso.

22) how old are they? do they know their birthday? if so, what’s their sign?

she’s in her early-mid twenties, very young. im not sure if she remembers her bday (probs not) but she’s a Sagittarius

23) do they speak any languages other than english?

god no. she doesnt even try to learn latin jhjhkjgfkj she pronounces all of it wrong and caesar’s like please shut up,

24) can they read, write, do math, sing? did they ever receive an education?

she went to school in new reno so she can do all that. maybe not sing.

25) what were their parents like? are they still on good terms with their parents?

i honestly havent given it much thought. her parents were probably Just Okay TM. she doesn’t remember them.

26) what’s their d&d alignment? (bolded bc i really like that one ksdjfksd)

chaotic neutral, leaning into chaotic evil.

27) how’s their karma?

not great

28) how do they feel about killing people? do they try to avoid it?

like i said, the bullet messed w her remorse a lot, so it doesn’t particularly bother her anymore.

29) do they take chems? if yes, when and which ones?

yes, sometimes! usually mentats, buffout, med-x, or psycho.

30) do they gamble? where? is their luck good?

she likes to gamble. usually at the ultra-luxe. her luck is pretty good!

31) where do they usually sleep? do they have more than one home location? do they live with any other people?

she usually stays in the lucky 38, in her hotel room in novac, or in the tent Big C TM hooked her up with at the fort. if it comes to it she’ll sleep in the ncrcf. no one else really lives in her 38 save for the securitrons

32) what are their favorite weapons? where did they get these weapons?

her caesar’s fall collection legion-brand machete babeyyyy, one n only! she’ll also use a pistol (a light shining in darkness most of the time since u know she sides w joshua graham) or a police baton if that’s appropriate

33) do they flirt a lot? is it well-received?

yes she does and no it isnt! she licked vulpes. just. right on his visibly ugly face. one time she tried to climb yes-man

34) do they goof around a lot? do other people find it funny or do they just entertain themselves?

once again yes she does and no they do not! she’s doin it all for her, baby. chaotic neutral here we go

35) what do their companions think of them? are they close? have they done any companion quests?

the companions,, obviously dont think very well of her most of the time bc she’s legion. cass thinks she’s a Real Wild Card and respects her for that at first. raul doesn’t like her very much but he’ll still travel with her from time to time just to see what she Does TM.

36) why did you create them?

i wanted to do a no rules run! like i thought it would be cool to just. do the craziest things i could think of in fnv and do it all with one courier. and thus sarsaparilla was born

37) do they draw, paint, play any instruments?

hell no

38) how do they deal with injuries? do they use stimpaks, healing powder, med-x? does a companion help them? can they bear a lot of pain, or do they need to attend to injuries immediately? when they do have to see a doctor, do they have a preferred doctor, or do they just see anyone?

she uses all 3 depending on how bad the wound is. for minor wounds she uses healing powder because she has an abundance of it from the legion, but since she has fairly low endurance she often just has to use stimpaks & med-x. she’s not very tolerant to pain all of the time? but if she has a lot of adrenaline (which she comes by very easily) she can all but ignore it entirely. she doesnt have a preferred doctor

39) have they ever been irradiated? how did they deal with it? did it have lasting effects?

probably a few times but she just threw up and then took a bunch of rad-away and ended up fine. she’s never been damaged by radiation permanently

40) in conversation, are they kind? gentle? sarcastic? rude? do they speak warmly and openly with people, or are they more guarded? do they talk a lot?

she’s somewhat talkative, she mostly says whatever pops into her head whenever it comes to mind so her talking is just. a big mess of Thoughts She Had. she likes making a lot of jokes that are mostly for her

41) do they like long journeys through the mojave, or do they prefer to travel more quickly? do they prefer using roads or travelling through the deep desert?

she likes to travel quickly. no time to waste! she’s almost always using the roads

42) name a random fact about your courier.

she thinks it’s really funny to blow vulpes’s cover whenever she sees him undercover on the strip & she almost gets killed every single time. oh holy shit it’s vulpes! vulpes inculta! spelled v-u-l-p– oh my god its the ncr mp quick vulpes take your dick out in this gift shop

43) do they watch movie holotapes? what are their favorites? least favorites?

yes but shes literally only seen blazing saddles, gladiator, and we bought a zoo

44) what do they do with the lucky 38? do they like being there? do they leave their companions there? if they’re a yes-man courier, do they open it back up as a casino?

she doesn’t leave companions there too often, like i said. she likes it pretty well bc of the robots and the hot water? but i think that she really prefers staying in hotels except for special occasions. she doesnt open it back up bc yes-man kills her sldkfjds great transition

45) what do they do after hoover dam?

yes-man says fuck work and just absolutely murders her. hes like ok enough of this and finds a new human to do what he needs done skdfjksd

46) how do they die? how is their death received, by the mojave and by their companions?

yes-man fucking KILLS her ass! the mojave takes a great big breath of relief knowing they wont have to watch her shenanigans anymore skdjfds

47) what are their vices? are they an alcoholic, a thief, a hoarder?

oh boy literally all of them. she definitely steals a lot but thats literally just. a part of her “do whatever you want” complex that Is TM her greatest vice

48) can they cook, and if so, what do they cook? what are their favorite & least favorite foods?

she absolutely cannot. she likes pizza from the tops dskfjkds

49) did they kill caesar? vulpes inculta? what about prominent ncr figures, like kimball and colonel hsu?

yes she did kill caesar! her securitrons killed vulpes at hoover dam and she was power-tripping so hard she didn’t realize they’d already gotten to him. she probably didnt think about him again before she died. she didnt assassinate kimball herself but she definitely assisted in making the assassination go smoothly, and im sure her robots got to hsu sometime before she had yes-man throw oliver off the dam skdjfskd

50) what’s their happiest memory?

not to be fake deep but all this shit she does obviously causes more adrenaline than happiness. you could say that it’s when yes-man threw oliver off the dam, because that was her most exhilarating moment, or you could say that it was when she woke up in goodsprings, because it was the last time she was calm and being taken care of.

—

thank u so much if u read all this and thank you for sending me this ask. it took a long time but its a good exercise like i said skdfjsdf. send me more if these if yall have the heart, maybe not a whole 1-50 but like ! & please reblog my fnv courier questions post because i do think its nice, bye

#courier 6 #sarsaparilla #fnv #long post

4 notes · View notes