#i could have written another 2-3 paragraphs about him giving her the letter but i wanted to behave

[fortifice]

Stay behind the barricades, that’s what the Captain had ordered. The influx of high power Fragmentum creatures had been steadily increasing, & no one knew why at first, until it became clear there was a much larger one that had spawned across the ancient bridge, causing more dangerous creatures to swarm the area. Ice abominations, monsters that cruelly mocked them by donning a perverse copy of Silvermane armour.

Aventurine had intended to listen. He was good at following orders, usually. When it suited him, anyways.That changed when a wounded lieutenant stumbled in behind the barbed-wire covered fence with a massive spike of ice embedded through his torso. He was trying to make it to a medic, the blond realizes. The soldier stumbles & pitches forward, & Aventurine darts towards the man, catching him. He’s tugging weakly at his helmet, & the blond tugs it off, his stomach sank. He couldn’t be older than eighteen or nineteen years of age, & that wound… there was no chance of him making it back. “What happened?!” He asks frantically.

“…swarmed us… too many… we’re outnumbered. My mom…” he wheezes out, gripping the strategist’s arm, coughing up bright red blood as he sinks to his knees holding the boy. “Letter. In the barracks. Make sure… she…”

Aventurine doesn’t know who his mother is. “I will. I promise.” He says anyways, & the boy smiles in relief, blinking one last time, & then he’s gone… just like that. Not for the first time in his life, Aventurine lowers to the ground the body of a teenager who never really got to live, closing his eyes. He feels a burning sensation sweep over him, & doesn’t realize what he’s doing until he’s strolling through the gates. It’s a bloodbath. He can see them fighting to hold the monsters back, scattered among the corpses of monsters & their own brothers-in-arms. He hears someone yelling at him to get off the field, he’s certain he probably looks insane to them, no armour, no weapon, in the middle of a death-laden war. It’s not his first time witnessing slaughter, however.

He was helpless, just a young child, the last time he witnessed a scene like this. The one that ended with him in chains & branded like cattle. But Aventurine hasn’t been helpless in a long time. He murmurs to himself, the incantation which invokes the power he’s been told to keep secret from the people of Belobog unless given no choice. But a choice between watching people get massacred to keep his hand hidden up his sleeve, & playing that can’t, is no choice all.

Immediately, the power granted to him by Diamond, Emanator of Preservation, envelopes him in a green shimmering light, resonating from the stone in his hands. Aventurine of Stratagems. His clothing turns to armour, & he grabs the nearest monster which had pinned one of the soldiers - one of his new friends - to the wall & throws it down over the side of the bridge, golden coins drop from the sky, harmless in appearance, devastating in their effect. They pelt the monsters from above, tearing through mutated flesh & impaling them with enough force to shatter whatever passes for their bones.

“Belobog… is under the protection… of Preservation!” He throws his hands forward & a tidal wave of dice slam into the creatures, knocking several of them off the edge of the battlefield & into the abyss, shrieking all the way down. He throws up several shimmering golden shields to protect the wounded soldiers, & hears someone yell out a warning to the Captain.

Aventurine catches a glimpse of Gepard from the corner of his eye, through the mask, just in time to see some thing crash into his shield bodily, knocking it out of his hands. Everything seems to happen in slow motion. Aventurine sees one of the soldier-like creatures shift its focus to Gepard, & raise its arms, bearing a wickedly sharp sword made of ice.

He doesn’t stop to think about it, he just moves.

“Gepard!” He barrels into him from the side, knocking him backwards into the snow, & feels a splitting pain in his back as the sword rips through his armour & body alike, ice cold splitting pain tearing through him. The creature is swiftly buried in an avalanche of golden coins hitting it at terminal velocity in retaliation.

“ Got your six… hehehe… & you wanted me to stay behind… with how badass I am…?” Aventurine chuckles out a weak laugh. Then he vomits up approximately half of his blood volume into the snow & buckles under the sudden icy numbness that sweeps over him. He feels someone catch him, & through blurring vision & tears of pain frozen to his lashes, he catches sight of the Captain’s frantic expression above him, screaming something the gambler can’t hear. A bare hand runs over the soldier’s cheek fondly as his Cornerstone flickers off. “…you should smile more… your face looks so warm when you smile… pretty…” he murmurs. All he taste is his own blood. “The kid lieutenant… make sure his mom gets the letter he left for her… I promised him… I don’t… break my promises…”

Darkness pulls him under, & Aventurine is aware of nothing at all until he wakes up in an unfamiliar hospital six days later.

The battlefront was interspersed with corpses, their proud, royal blue banners undulating fiercely in the keening wind. seldom were the battles where men met death expeditiously, the harbinger’s distorted wail cleaves through the clamor of combat, enticing the fragmentum monsters to surge and slaughter. The Captain’s command heaved these honorable men to their graves, their throats slit or their stomach cavities gouged open, every fleeting image of carnage was engraved upon him, he would not forget their sacrifice. Gepard turns on a monster, his fist colliding with black, shuddering skin and it screams in agony, the force enough to cause cracks to burgeon across its stomach, thick, wet entrails disgorge from its husk, death the stillness that follows. 

“ push back !” his authority rises above the pandemonium, his remaining comrades rallying themselves before their Captain’s resolve, their shouts in unison with him as they break ranks and plunge through the snow, guns fire in rapid succession, gurgling screams press at him from all sides. He cannot allow his focus to slip for even a moment, the next monster rushes at him from his flank, spindrifts of snow flying in all directions as it bears down upon him. He uses its velocity to thrust earthwork between its shoulder and body and shards of ice proliferate from the impact, it lets out a rattling howl before it’s suppressed to silence by frost. The guard fight valiantly, pushing back the encroaching fragmentum but their allies fall, crumpled in the snow as they take their last, stuttering breaths. Even if they triumphed at this rate the toll would be too great, more than anything he wanted to cast his mantle of protection over them, his men, his people, but he was but one of many upon that battle ground. 

He doesn’t notice when Aventurine joins the fray, not initially, his attention confined between two Fragmentum monsters who circle him like quarry, they wear debased uniforms of their fallen brethren in mockery, their weapons raised then, abruptly crashing into the ground where a second before he stood. Swiftly he turns on one, catching the next downward arch with his shield and following it up with a sharp thrust, it buckles under the impact. the next hastily takes its place with a blunt jab, the weapon connects with Earthwork and forces him back a step, heels digging into snow. His gauntlet clenches around the shaft of the weapon, verglas tears up towards the imposter and before it can wrest its hands free it’s fixed to the hilt, a punch tears through the air and collides with its helmet. 

From the corner of his eye he catches a glaring flash of gold, he doesn’t immediately recognise it, but it’s forcing the monsters to retreat further back into the snow, on their side, that was what mattered. without proper time to question who or what had allied with them he launches into the next series of thrusts and blows with renewed vigor. the cold seeping into his bones and making his muscles scream in protest doesn’t impede him, his only purpose here is to save as many lives as he can, in spite of that his gaze catches on the fallen, his heart laments fiercely for their loss. each strained breath and imminent blow is for them, in their honor. 

He does not sense the imminent danger, the puncturing blow that is intended for him but is knocked violently out of its path, his senses reeling as snow rushes up to meet him. It takes only a second for the world to still, for the acrid scent of iron to inundate him, his eyes rise and they meet his savior, the IPC envoy, Aventurine. He wasn’t meant to be here, he should have been back at the barracks, this wasn’t his fight, not his war. It was. Gepard had been spared. The offending enemy is buried in an avalanche of gilded coins and he laughs, it’s a wet, horrendous sound, as if he were choking. As the arm holding the blade goes limp, Aventurine sinks to his knees, the scintillating green light around him disperses, flickers in and out as it's swept up in the wind. His stomach lurches, in the moment it takes for the other to collapse the Captain’s arms are extended, waiting, the other’s body falling into him. Aventurine had saved him. “ medic, we need a medic.” there was no one out there to offer first aid but, as the enemies waned and retreated other soldiers rushed to their aid, helping Gepard to his feet, offering to take Aventurine from him but repudiated adamantly. It takes three men not including the Captain to escort them from the battlefield, fifteen dead, many others injured, the report is distant and jarring to Gepard whose eyes are fixed upon the slack body in his arms. It was like a march to meet death, returning from the verge of it, each step laborious, he was limping on his left side. 

It takes six days for Aventurine to regain consciousness, at first, he is treated by the medics on site but when they can do no more for him he’s transferred to Belobog’s hospital. The son’s letter is given to his mother who sinks to her knees before Gepard and sobs in ruined gasps, her hand stifling them. He mourns for her but his rimy gaze is distant and doleful. In the wake of the slaughter many of the men are ordered to take respite, their bodies battered and their souls weary. Gepard remains at the hospital as often as he can and when sleep finally claims him he’s often found hunched awkwardly in a chair in Aventurine’s hospital room. It goes on like this for six days.

He had not intended to doze off, sleep offered him no alleviation, the rush of lurid memories jerks him awake more often than not, now, his arms were resting across the other’s bed, his head laid upon them. His hair is disheveled and the darkness gathering beneath his lashes speaks to nights besieged by haunting repetition. He is coaxed from that dark, tormenting place when fingers trace the contours of his face fondly. Golden lashes flutter open, startled, his eyes widening as they glance up and are met with Aventurine’s mesmeric gaze. “ I gave it to her..” he says, voice still thick with somnolence. “ the letter.” it was as if he had held onto that sorrow for too long, a solitary tear streaking down his cheek. “ you saved me.. you really were a - badass.” it sounds foreign when spoken with such solemnity and he offers him a strained, exhausted, relieved smile. 

[citizen-zero]

I just went back and reread Mina’s very first entry, her letter to Lucy on May 9, and in it she writes,

I have just had a few hurried lines from Jonathan from Transylvania. He is well, and will be returning in about a week.

Which REALLY sheds a new light on two things: 1) the fact that even while he was rushing, Jonathan sent a full paragraph of text to her, and 2) the fact that Mina was expecting Jonathan to be home by mid- to late May, and hasn’t seen or even heard from him in damn near 3 months at this point.

(Note on that last point: there seems to be some discrepancies in the text here? Jonathan writes two letters on May 12, one to Mr Hawkins and one to Mina, but it doesn’t seem like Mina, at least, ever gets this one, and it isn’t the one that gets burned later because Jonathan specifically discusses writing that one. The single line Mina gets seems to be one of the three written on May 19, specifically the one dated June 19, and from what I’m seeing in her journal thus far there’s no mention of her receiving a letter explaining he’d be staying another month; in fact, on July 26 she actively says she hadn’t heard from him in some time. It doesn’t seem likely that Mr Hawkins would receive correspondence and then not tell her, so either those letters were never sent or Stoker forgot to account for them, lol.)

But I digress. Her mention of him sending “a few hurried lines” in May is a stark contrast to the single line she received yesterday, and we can see exactly why she immediately sensed something was wrong—again, even when Jonathan was in transit and had a pressing need to be on time, he still found time to write more than a single sentence to her mentioning that he was doing well and giving an update on his ETA. One would assume that, if he’s sending this newer letter while still at Castle Dracula and not yet actively traveling, he’d have plenty of time to write something longer and more descriptive, even if he’s not waxing poetic.

And on top of that, she hasn’t heard from him at all in 3 months!!! Oh my god! Imagine if you were making plans to see your friend or partner next week, and then they totally dropped off the face of the earth without warning, and then three months later they texted you sounding completely different from how they normally do and offering absolutely no explanation for their absence. You’d be freaked out too! You’d have probably been freaked out much sooner than that! You’d probably assume they were missing or fucking dead!

I understand that travel and communication took more time back then (especially if we agree with Stoker’s portrayal of Eastern Europe as less technologically advanced) and one couldn’t always promptly inform about delays, but we have telegrams and trains at this point, and it’s not like Jonathan’s in the middle of the ocean (haha!). It’s entirely reasonable that he might be delayed a week or two or even three, but one might expect that if he was going to be delayed THREE MONTHS long, he’d have sent word much sooner. If Jonathan could send a letter from within Transylvania that got to Mina within a week or so of his arrival, and if she could reasonably expect him to be home in a week from her May 9 letter, AND if she could consider it noteworthy not to have news of him within a day of his single line…then it doesn’t make sense to me that it’d be reasonable to anyone for him not to communicate this long of a delay.

Which makes it SO interesting that Mina’s downplaying her own uneasiness about him, because it mirrors Jonathan trying to rationalize everything he’s experiencing in the castle. She has a plethora of reasons to be completely panicked by now, and it seems she’s suppressing that panic by pretending like she doesn’t know why she’s feeling uneasy. The line from Jonathan should’ve been comforting, it’s finally news of him after all this time…but it’s jarringly out of character. I think on some level Mina knows that something isn’t adding up, she knows that there’s red flags everywhere, but she has no proof and no way of finding out, there’s no real reason for her to think that anything is wrong. It’s the kind of suppression you might do when you’re desperately trying not to have a panic attack about a situation you have no control over.

Once again, reading Dracula this way really makes for a richer experience because in the book, her May 9 letter and her journal entry on July 26 are much closer together and you could easily read both of them in one sitting. But when it’s spread out the way it is, you can go back and be slapped with realizations like this.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

S&B Book Review From A Show Viewer.

I did it, I got the Shadow and Bone book yesterday and I’ve just finished it. I have to say the ending left me both shocked and flabbergasted and not necessarily in a good way but I will get into why soon. I don’t want people to think that I thought the book was bad because its not, I thought it was ok, I mean its not my favourite fantasy novel but I still enjoyed parts of it. I think the best way I can describe my feelings about it is you know when a film comes out that’s based on a novel they always say watch the film before you read the books or the film will disappoint you, well I feel like its the other way round with the books, I just think the show is better than the book, and by watching the show first I was a little disappointed with the book and I do think if I had read the book first I would have enjoyed it more if that makes sense. But like I said there were parts of the book that I enjoyed there were even some things that I think were handled better in the book than in the show. But overall in my opinion I do think that the show is better. So in this review/ comparison I am going to talk first about the parts that I wasn’t so keen on then the parts I liked as I like to end on a good note. Also let it be known I have only read the first book and obviously there are spoilers for both the first book and the show. The rest is under the cut.

 Dislikes.

1) The Characters. 

So when I got half way through the book there was something about it that just didn't feel right to me and I couldn’t, at first, put my finger on what it was. For some reason I just wasn’t enjoying the book as much as I thought I would. Then it hit me, I didn’t really like any of the characters. In the show I loved or at least liked pretty much every character. For example Marie and Nadia, although they were only side characters who didn’t get much screen time, I liked them, they seemed like such sweethearts. But in the books Alina describes them as being two faced, how they are all sweet to Zoya to her face but then are mean behind her back and Alina wonders if they are the same with her and she doesn’t really seem to trust them. Whereas in the show like I said they seemed genuinely sweet and it seemed like Alina really was friends with them. Another example is Dubrov and Mikhael. They are only really in like a paragraph or two of the book and they aren’t nice at all. In the show they were lovable goofs, their friendship with Mal is soo wholesome and we see Alina meet them for the first time. However in the books Alina already knows them and they refer to her as ‘sticks’ which she hates and she also thinks about how Mikhael had once ‘pawed at her’ whilst drunk. The reason why I think their show counterparts are better (other than they just seem to be nicer human beings) is because I liked them I was sad when they died. I was upset when Marie died. I cried when Mikhael and Dubrov died, because I cared about their characters. Whereas in the books to be honest I really couldn’t have cared less when I learnt that they had died. 

Even the main characters didn’t do much for me. It’s not that I didn't like them I just didn't love them the same way I did in the show. I can understand now why so many people dislike book Mal. He is barely in the first book, in the beginning its not that he’s a bad person but its obvious that Alina feels ignored by him and he’s a little oblivious to her, its the classic taking a friend for granted until you lose them and then realise how much they meant to you situation. I think the fact that we don’t see any of what Mal is up to whilst they are separated doesn’t do any favours for the character in the book. When he does show up he is cold and actually kind of mean to Alina. I do believe that alot of this is because he is traumatised by witnessing the deaths of his friends but I will get into that more later. As for Alina and the Darkling again I didn’t dislike them I think out of all the characters they were the most interesting but I didn’t feel that same connection with them that I did in the show. Basically there wasn’t a single character where I had that I love this character moment, I was just kind of meh about them all. 

2) Alina’s Age and Agency.

Another thing that the show did better in my opinion was aging Alina up and giving her more agency. In the book she is only 17 and I think you can tell that. She is much more timid and dare I say whiny in the book. I mean she comes across as a teenage girl which is what she is so it’s not the books fault she was written as she was supposed to be. But after seeing her show counterpart who wasn’t afraid to stand up for herself and defended Mal the book Alina seemed like a different character, one that I felt like I just didn’t know and one that I didn’t love as much as the show version. I mean in the show Alina shows these moments of defiance. Like when she is first brought to the General’s tent and he asks ‘well’ and she replies ‘well what’ before remembering who she is talking to and adding ‘sir’. Again when the Queen in making the comments about her being Shu and asks her maid to say good morning to her. And so Alina tells the queen she doesn’t actually speak Shu before again remembering who she is talking to and adding ‘your highness’. When Mal is being bullied at the orphanage and she threatened the bully with I think it was a letter opener. She has this kind of snarky, sassiness about her that I didn’t really get in the books. Also I feel like Alina had alot more agency in the show. Like burning the maps to get on the skiff. It was a terrible idea no doubt, but it was her doing something to get herself on the skiff so she could help her friend. In the books their unit is ordered to cross the fold from the beginning, Alina has nothing to do with her being on the skiff. Also with her relationship with The Darkling, Alina is mostly nervous around him and he is the one that initiates all their kisses. Whereas in the show Alina is the one to kiss him first. I do feel like in the book Alina is more kind of pushed and pulled around by the plot or by other characters and doesn’t really do much for herself. Like another example is when Baghra reveals that The Darkling is the Black Heretic in the book she has this whole plan for Alina’s escape which is for her to go to Os Kervo and board a ship where her passage has already been paid for and in the book Alina just goes with it, whereas in the show we see her decide not to take Baghra’s instructions and escapes herself, her own way, again it might not have been the best choice seeing as she puts herself right into The Crows hands but it is her choice. Even the decision to go after the Stag isn’t hers in the books. It’s Mal’s. There was one decision that Alina did make for herself and it was one part of the book that I think I hated the most which I will get into later.

I do like that she is older in the show as I feel like I personally can relate more to her as an adult as oppose to a teenager. Its also fresher because there are so many of these young adult fantasy adaptions where the heroines are 16-18 years old and that nice but you are still a young adult in your early twenties and so I think its a nice change to see a slightly older heroine if that makes sense.

3) The Darkling’s name and Novokribirsk.

Well I know this one is not going to make me popular with the book fans but I really didn’t like that no one knew the Darkling’s name or rather that he didn’t have a name really. I know his name reveal is a big deal to book fans and that was one thing they didn’t like about the show and maybe if I had read the book first I would have agreed. But I personally, having learnt his name in the show, found it difficult seeing everyone refer to him as The Darkling because in the show it is only really used by his enemies and always in a derogatory way and as a slur, everyone else just calls him The Black General or General Kirigan. I also think the fact that he does have a name in the show makes him a little more human. The other difference between the show and the book is Novokribirsk. In the show although I didn’t necessarily agree with him expanding the Fold into Novokribirsk I understood his reasons behind it, his motivations. But the West Ravkan rebels plot doesn’t exist in the book and so I just couldn’t understand why he was killing his own people, why he was killing Ravkans. If he had expanded the Fold into Fjerda or Shu Han I would have understood but Novokribirsk made no sense. I am sure I am wrong about this but I kind of felt like Bardugo was trying to be shocking and trying to show look he’s a villain but it just didn’t line up with the rest of his character. Like he is power hungry yes but he also cares about the Grisha and the Ravkans and so him turning on the people of his own country with no motivation at all didn’t make sense to me. Instead of feeling shocked I just felt kind of confused by his actions. 

4) The Reveal That Genya Is A Spy.

This is another one where I feel like if I had read the books first it wouldn’t have bugged me so much. But one of the more powerfully emotional scenes for me in the show was that conversation between Genya and Alina in episode 7 where Alina realises that Genya was Kirigan’s spy. It is heartbreaking to see these two friends fall apart like this and you can see both of their sides. You can understand why Alina feels betrayed but you can also understand why Genya did it. But in the book the scene just isn’t that emotional. Alina realises that Genya is a spy but whilst we see her thoughts and her processing it she doesn’t confront Genya about it. Instead Genya tells Alina that David feels terrible about putting the collar on her and that he feels like he has destroyed all of Ravka. As Genya leaves Alina calls after her asking her to tell David she forgives him and then she silently, in her head, forgives Genya too. I just was disappointed in this scene when I read it. I do think this is just another thing that was handled better in the show. 

5) Mal and Alina’s Sudden Romance.

Ok I’m not hating on Mal and Alina here I actually think (well more in the show than the book) that their relationship is cute, I don’t hate the relationship its just that I prefer Darklina. But in the book I was actually really shocked when they kissed. For me I feel like it was a little jarring and I would have preferred if their kiss had come in the second book. I think the problem is it just felt like there was no development. I mean we had Alina spending the majority of the book lamenting about how Mal doesn’t like her back and only sees her as a friend. We barely see Mal in the book at all and then all of a sudden they don’t just kiss but are confessing their undying love for each other and I was just left with my head in a bit of spin at how fast that change came. But hey maybe it was just me. I do think part of the problem is that we only get Alina’s pov so that makes it come as more of a surprise. But they went from just friends to intense burning love in 0.1 seconds flat and for me it was just too much of a rush. I just wish it had been built up a bit slower as I felt like they got to the whole I love you’s a bit too quick. Even if they had their first kiss at the very end of the book and then continued to build the relationship in book 2 and have the love confessions then I think it would have been a bit more believable to me. 

6) Shaming Alina. 

Ok so there were a couple of times where I felt like other characters were shaming Alina for having feelings for The Darkling and for falling for his manipulation. Of course I could be misinterpreting this but I didn’t like the connotations behind these lines. The first was when Baghra is organising for Alina to escape and Baghra tells her she’ll organise for a servant to be placed at Alina’s door who will claim she is ill so that Alina has more time to get away. When Alina tells her the servant would have to be placed this evening as The Darkling may come to her room and Baghra replies with ‘foolish girl’. Obviously this makes Alina feel ashamed and even more foolish for falling for The Darkling’s manipulation. Here’s the thing I don’t mind Alina feeling foolish I think that’s realistic, I think any of us would feel like a fool if we were in the same situation. What I don’t like is the author having other character’s call her foolish for being manipulated by someone. I just don’t think its the healthiest of lessons to teach to young girls that if you are unfortunate enough to be manipulated by a a man than girl are you a fool. I don’t necessarily think it was the author’s intention to present it that way but I do think that is a message that a young girl could take away from this, I mean if I can interrupt it this way than others could too. 

I felt a similar way with Mal’s line when he says ‘I love you, Alina, even the part of you that loved him.’ Look I’m sure that this line was suppose to be romantic and show acceptance. But it bothered me, it really really bothered me. It bothered me because once again it is suggesting that Alina should be ashamed that she had feelings for the Darkling, it presents Mal as being this oh so righteous person because look at him he loves her even though she once loved The Darkling. It suggests that its harder for him to love her because she loved the darkling and like she has to be forgiven for it or as if she has been tainted by it. It wasn’t Alina’s fault that she developed feelings for The Darkling or that she was manipulated by him. And Mal isn’t a better person for loving her even though she loved The Darkling, he shouldn’t get extra brownie points for loving all of her unconditionally. 

7) Alina Is A Murderer!!! 

Ok so this is the part of the book that shocked the hell out of me but also left me utterly confused and I hated it, I really hated it. I’m also kind of baffled as to how I’ve not seen anyone talking about this. I mean maybe I am over-reacting but I have only just finished the book so it is still pretty fresh. But there is a huge difference between the ending of the first book and the ending of the series and that is what happens in The Fold. So first off Mal doesn’t sneak on to the skiff he is there because the Darkling is planning to execute him as a traitor by feeding him to the Volcra. The other thing is there are alot more people on the skiff, you’ve got the ambassadors from Fjerda and Shu Han, you’ve got Kerch Merchants, you’ve got an envoy for the King, you’ve got a ton of Grisha and their are also a ton of soldiers, all on this skiff. The darkling also never has Ivan kill the ambassadors they don’t try to fight back against him after he expands the Fold. What does happen is this, The Darkling throws Mal overboard and this is what triggers Alina being able to free herself and her power from The Darkling’s control. She then abandons ship and jumps off the skiff to Mal and leaves everyone who is onboard to die. Which in itself is bad enough but that's not all she does. She doesn’t just leave them without her light to protect them she uses the cut to destroy the skiff, she damages the mast and also cuts the skiff in half essentially stranding them there without any way of escaping. She does this knowing that they will all die.

I know what some of you will say. How can you be mad about Alina doing this when the Darkling has killed people and you still like him. Well first off because The Darkling is the anti hero in the show whose motivations I understood and well I’ve already said I wasn’t a huge fan of his actions with Novokribirsk in the books. Also with him being the antagonist I know he’s going to do things that are morally grey or downright dark. I don’t however expect it from my hero of the story. Also I wouldn’t have cared as much if Alina had a valid reason for doing it. Like she was sacrificing these people to safe a larger number of people or something like that where she was in some kind of moral conundrum where sacrificing the people on the skiff was for the greater good, if it was for example a situation like Clarke from the 100 and the Mountain Men, what she did was terrible and definitely morally grey but she did it to save her people and that’s what made it interesting to see her struggle with the guilt of it, to be horrified at what she had done but understand that it was a difficult decision for her that needed to be made for her peoples survival. Or even if it were a similar situation to Katniss and Finnick in Mockingjay where she knew she couldn’t save him so had to make the choice to sacrifice him to stop the mutts from coming after the rest of them. But that’s not what was happening here with Alina, she does it to save Mal. And look I get it. Mal is her childhood friend, and Mal is the person she loves, Mal is her home. But Mal is also one person and she probably could have found a  way to save him without sacrificing everyone else to do it you know like she does in the show. It’s not even just the leaving them behind bit that gets to me but I just don’t think it was necessary for her to break the ship. It was one thing to take her light from them and use it to protect only her and Mal, but at least if she had left the skiff unscathed they would have had a chance to survive. 

I mean maybe I am just have too much of a rigid idea of what a  hero is suppose to be or gotten too used to heroines being a certain way but the difference between the hero and the villain is that whilst the villain does everything for themselves and is usually very selfish the hero is supposed to be selfless. They are suppose to think of the greater good and put that above all else, they make personal sacrifices and that doesn’t necessarily mean not protecting their loved ones but it also doesn’t mean leaving innocent people to die just so that you can save one person, regardless of how important that person is to you. 

I mean  I feel like we are being told that Alina is this saviour and that she is the hero but then the character isn’t acting like the hero. I mean she doesn’t seem to care about anybody but Mal and yet she is still very judgemental of the Darkling even though he is trying to save his people albeit in completely the wrong way. 

  I mean one thing I will say is that she does recognise that what she has done makes her like The Darkling. She also does have guilt about it and nightmares but I found it hard to have sympathy for her because I just didn’t think it was necessary for her to do it. 

I don’t know maybe I’ll feel differently about it in a few days after I’ve processed it more but at the moment I feel strangely betrayed by the book like they’ve taken one of my favourite characters and ruined her. Which I know is silly because the books came first but I just can’t help but think my show Alina would never. She saved Mal and everyone on the skiff.  

Grey Area

Ok so this section is an odd one, so this is things that I’m not sure how I feel about them I liked some bits but also didn’t like some bits. 

1) Alina’s POV

So the book is told entirely from Alina’s pov and to be honest I am of two minds as to whether that's a good thing or a bad. I mean most YA fantasy novels are told from the heroine’s pov like The Hunger Games or Divergent. So this is something that can work, but in the case of Shadow and Bone I feel like having it solely from Alina’s pov was at the detriment of the other characters. I feel like because Alina doesn’t like alot of the other characters or has negative thoughts about alot of the other characters the reader also doesn’t like them. On the flip side of this it does very much put you in Alina’s shoes so it helps you better understand that isolation she feels and that not really trusting people, doubting them. You can understand her struggle to connect with people and how she always wonders if they really do like her or if they have an ulterior motive. There is this one part earlier on in the book where she talks about how people, in particular girls, would befriend her but it was only because she was friends with Mal and they were interested in him, so they used her to get close to him. I think this really does explain why she struggles to trust people when she gets to the Little Palace as she automatically assumes that if they are trying to be friends with her its because they want something from her. Because you can see her thoughts you also get a really good idea of how insecure she feels and how much she wants to be accepted. Like there are several parts where its obvious that she wants to please The Darkling, or she wants to impress Baghra or Botkin. She worries about how the other summoners will react if they find out she is struggling with her powers. There is one scene I loved where Alina is finally able to summon on her own and she just rushes outside to the lake where all the other summoners are to show off her powers because she is just so excited. All of this where its exploring Alina’s thoughts and feelings is great and well written but I think the problem of having it from her pov is although you get a good idea of Alina and how she feels, first impressions are also important and we get all of our first impressions of the other characters through Alina. However Alina doesn’t really like anybody, so  when she talks about how mean Dubrov and Mikhael are and how they call her names and ignore her, or when she talks about Mal not really seeing her and taking her for granted, or when she thinks about how two faced Marie and Nadia are, how grumpy Ivan is, how intimidating and mysterious The Darkling is, and so on, these impressions of the character stick with the reader and so I think it is then hard for the reader to change their view on these characters, if that makes sense. So in some ways the first person narrative is great but in others I think it is a little bit of a problem.   

2) Mal’s Reaction To Alina And The Darkling/ Their Reunion.

Ok so this might be a controversial one but I’m kind of split on which of Mal’s reactions I prefer. I know that seems crazy considering how mean he is to Alina in the books when they see each other again for the first time since she is discovered to be Grisha, but hear me out. On the one side I liked how non judgemental show Mal was when Alina admits that she had feelings for Aleksander. I liked that he said she didn’t owe him an explanation because its true she doesn’t, just like he doesn’t owe her an explanation for any relationships he’s had. So in that sense I think the show did it better. 

In the books their reunion doesn’t go so well. Mal shows up at the Little Palace having found the Stag and unlike in the show he does speak with Alina. But its a very negative interaction where he gets angry about her wearing black and talks about how the Darkling is all over her and just in general makes her feel bad about this new life she has found as a Grisha. Obviously I didn’t enjoy this scene but there was one element of this whole reunion that I did like and that is Mal’s trauma. In the show they don’t really address the trauma Mal experiences at seeing his friends die beyond a small conversation with Alina where he tells her what happened to them. But in the book during this scene and then later when they are travelling to find the Stag together Alina notes a few times that he sometimes gets a look in his eyes or that he seems different. There is a notable change in him due to what has happened to him and I feel like this gives some depth to the character. Yes he acts like a dick to Alina but its because of his trauma.   

Likes

Ok on to the good stuff, things that I loved from the books. 

1) Grisha Powers And Amplifiers.

So I’ll be honest the books do a better job of explaining the Grisha abilities and the amplifiers than the show does. So in the show they do have that line about the small science feeds us and merzost feeds on us. Well in the book this is better explained and you find out that a Grisha gets stronger and healthier the more they use their powers. Whilst in the show Alina tricks the testers by cutting her hand, in the book she actually supresses her powers. As a result this makes her ill, she always has circles under her eyes and she has no appetite so she is really skinny. I really like this idea that instead of draining them like most fantasy powers do in other series it actually makes them stronger. I thought it was a very interesting concept. It also explains why Baghra looks to have aged despite being immortal like The Darkling. In the book when Alina asks The Darkling what powers Baghra has he replies that it had been so long since she had used them that no one knew. So it seems like the reason why Baghra has aged is because she isn’t summoning. 

The other thing that we get more information about in the books is the use of amplifiers. Morozova’s creatures aren’t the only amplifiers other Grisha do have them for example Ivan has a bear claw and Marie has a seal amplifier. I think Zoya also has an amplifier. We also find out that a Grisha usually can only have one amplifier.  

2) Ivan’s Backstory 

Ok this is probably a small thing but I really wish they had kept Ivan’s backstory in the show. He lost family to the Fjerdans, if I remember rightly I think it was his father, brother and uncle. Though correct me if I am wrong on that. But this has obviously had an impact on him and he says they died fighting the King’s wars. It just really goes a long way to explain why Ivan is so loyal to The Darkling. Its because he believes the Darkling will end all wars and seeing as Ivan has lost a large portion of his family to war it makes sense that he would stand by the Darkling. 

3) Alina’s Time At The Little Palace. 

So another thing the books did better than the show was showing the time and training that Alina goes through. In the show it only seems like Alina is at the Little Palace for a few weeks but she is actually there for at least five months if not more. You also see her struggle with her powers and combat training more and you see her starting to get better at both. In the show by the end of episode 4 she can summon on her own and she has that break through but it takes alot longer in the books. But yeah I would have loved to see more of her training. 

4) Baghra and The Darkling. 

So this isn’t really something the book does better but it was a scene that I really liked and that was where Alina arrives to her lesson with Baghra and The Darkling is there and she is surprised that Baghra is arguing with him. Whilst we do get the interaction between Baghra and Aleksander in the show which I did really like, Alina herself never sees the two interact and I think it would have been interesting if she had. I just wish in general that we had gotten more interactions between the mother and son. The other thing I liked was during the scene where Baghra is helping Alina escape Alina question why Baghra would be betraying her son. One thing I did wonder when watching the show was if Baghra knew all this information about Aleksander and how he wanted to expand the fold and if she really did believe he was power hungry, why did she stay by his side. Well the book does give an answer to this and she says she loves her son that’s why she is trying to stop him because she doesn’t want him to cross a line he can’t come back from. I do feel like this adds more depth and complexity to their relationship which I am always glad for. I can’t wait to learn more of their backstory. 

5) Alina’s Mirrored Gloves.

In the books the gloves David makes for Alina are used alot more. They are also described as being mirrored whereas in the tv show they looked more like gold chainmail. Also she gets them sooner in the books. But they’re really cool and she uses them to like distract or blind her opponent during hand to hand combat. Also I really like the scene when they are introduced because its basically Genya giving Alina a tour and they go to the Fabrikator workshop and when Genya introduces David he’s working on the gloves and he just goes these are for you. It’s awkward but also funny. 

6) Genya and David.

You get so much more of their relationship in the books. Well by so much more I mean Genya does talk to Alina about David. As a result we get one of my favourite interactions in the book where they are having a girly talk and Alina tries to reassure Genya that David will come around and that he’s just shy, then Genya says ‘“Maybe I should lie down on a table in the workroom and wait to see if he welds something to me.” To which Alina says “I think that’s the way most great love stories begin.” I don’t know why but I just loved this I think its because its just two girls talking about a crush and I think its very relatable. But yeah Genya and David are very cute. 

7) Tidemakers.

So one of the things I wished we could have seen in the show was the tidemakers using their powers. We get told about them and obviously they can control water but we never see one. Well in the books we do get Tidemakers using their powers and we get Alina describing them to us. There is a particularly cool scene that happens at the winter fete where tidemakers create this wave as part of the Grisha demonstration that then gets turned into mist by inferni. It wasn’t much but I still enjoyed getting a little glimpse of them using their powers. 

Ok that’s all I can think of for now, I’m sure I’ll think of more once I’ve had more time to process the book. But overall I thought it was ok I am interested to see where the characters go from here. I ordered the second book already and its due to arrive tomorrow so looking forward to that. As for this book if I gave it a rating I’d say its probably a 6/10 I thought it was good but there were some things about it that I think it could have done better with.  

[wasalwaysagreatpickle]

Friday 21 May 1830

5 1/2

11 20/..

Fahrenheit 62˚ at 5 3/4 a.m. – fine morning – streets dry after all the rain last night – off at 6 35/.. – (without breakfast) took fiacre on the boulevard to my apartment rue Saint Victor – Monsieur de Mèrbel’s 2nd lecture from 7 33/.. to 8 1/2 – took a little ink stand this morning (1st time and found I could very comfortably take my notes in ink – much better than pencil – lecture on the internal structure of plants as seen with the naked eye and with a loupe – breakfasted very comfortably on my brown bread and 4 sols worth of good milk at the laiterie in about 10 minutes, and home at 8 3/4 – 

At my desk at 9 – I find this French ink so bad I really must write to Miss Maclean to bring me a bottle in addition to the 2 bottles sent by Sowerby with the books – read over what I wrote yesterday to Mariana mention the talk between Lady Stuart de Rothesay and me about going to the Pyrenees in July, and had very kind letter from Lady Gordon last week, and if I go from home at all this summer and not with the Stuart de Rothesays shall probably go with her – ‘she asks if I will go to Spain next – what I shall do, of course, I cannot tell so long beforehand – But all this is quite between ourselves – I never name any of my maybes to anybody but you – I shall, I hope, see you again one of these days; and you may be quite at ease, whatever I determine on’ –

Wish her not to forget, when she has time to remember, French and the use of her pencil – mention Amici’s camera lucida – and Miss Maclean’s intention of being off from London on the 27th – then wrote a little more mention my good breakfast for 7 sols – (milk 4 sols – bread suppose 3 sols) – ‘the luxury of life is independence with a competence – I often enjoy leaving at home carriage and servants, and stealing in among the petit monde, and seeing how it is, that some can live where others would starve – In fact the carriage is at the coach makers again, for the present – Do for pity’s sake believe, that a certain portion of the ‘mammon of unrighteousness’ is absolutely necessary; and let us all do the best we can for living not starving – Let us have the option of having carriages and horses, and all that the world deems comme il faut – we can leave them at home as often as we like – I should be thankful to get you into this way of thinking – If Charles thought as I do, I should not trouble myself about your opinions; for he would take care to provide for you to the utmost of his ability – he would move heaven and earth, and leave brick and mortar forever as they are at Lawton, to leave you not induced to less than five hundreds a year after having shared with him more than as many thousands – How times are changed! I, who never cared for money till you taught me, am now to teach my teacher! well! do what you think best, - but remember that living where others would starve might be even to you less easy, and less comfortable than you may have sometimes imagined, were you obliged to try it – Do not, I beseech you, mistake me – I mean nothing which ought to annoy or disquiet you for a moment – all I ever ask myself is this – How is that she who, in early days when life, and hope, and friendship, all were young, could do so much – how is it that she should seem so careless now? Charles pays all now; and you are rich – Have you misunderstood me? tell me honestly – if you have, I never dare let another word upon the subject escape me in joke or earnest’ – 

Had written the last 1/2 page 3 and 1 1/2 end of my letter to Mariana very small and close, and so far of today at 10 3/4 – at which hour and before this Fahrenheit 70˚ - then wrote a full 1/2 sheet and 2 1/2 pp. of another 1/2 sheet to Miss Maclean exceedingly kind letter – long to see her but not impatient – beg her do what she is persuaded is best, and take her own time, and rest a day or 2 at Boulogne set her at ease about having so long prevented my asking anybody – ‘making always such exceptions, including yourself, as you perfectly well understand, I care less and less about having anybody with me – I am never at home till evening, and then my aunt, and dinner, and going to bed, are quite enough – It was from last August to October that so unsettled me – you were my physician and balm of gilead, in that case – I am well enough now, and could go on long enough in this way, if nothing occurred to rouse my memory from her slumbers – you do me the greatest kindness to come – the next greatest to leave me the power of saying I can ask no one so long as I am expecting Miss Maclean you always miscalculate your usefulness – Do set your mind at ease on this point – were it not for you, I might feel some obligation to do one or two things I escape now – Besides, if I take it into my head to wish to go from home while you are with us, I shall make no scruple…….It will amuse you to find how I consume my time, and how immeasurably little I trouble myself about anyone for whom I do not feel some interest at heart’ –

Then read over what I wrote yesterday to Miss Hobart dated Friday (today) but mentioning its being a fête day, just wrote over the sentence’ ascension day Thursday not Friday’ – ‘Have you got any more stories lately? the cuisinère of an English family that was here in the winter went the other day to Madame Galvani, to entreat her to try and get her a place – ‘Oh! mon dieu! Madame! Madame sait bien que quant ou sort d’une maison anglaise, ou a bien de la peine à en trouver – personne ne vous vent, parci qu ou a tout de suite la main rouiellée Madame Galvani Et pourquoi ça dout? mais madame [suit] bien que ces anglais ça ne fait pas comme tout le monde – ça mange des radis et du beurre aprés l’entremet!’ I hope that inimitable ça ne fait pas – ça mange – is not lost upon you – Ever affectionately yours AL’ – 

Had just done all and written so far of today at 1 1/4 – at 1 1/2 letter from Mariana (Lawton) 3pp. ends and under the seal – she and Mr Charles Lawton had a most providential escape from a thunder storm – the horses took fright and ran away – luckily ran into a hedge – narrowly missed throwing them into a horse-pond where Mariana would have been undermost, and where, if not water enough to drown them, they would have been very seriously inconvenienced – she glad I have not ordered the gowns – my explanation of the modes so clear, Watson can do all that is required –

Explains about money matters if I had only myself in view I do not hesitate to say I should think very little of the subject with regard to you I know your habits are yearly becoming more expensive therefore I should be glad to feel that I was likely to bring more to the exchequer than was sufficient to cover my own expenses of dress and maintenance and those who have hitherto benefited by any over plus in my income must of course be minus any future advantage now bearing in mind that these were the thoughts that dictated the sentence in my last which you have transcribed I am quite at a loss to guess what idea presented itself to you when you wrote immediately after it –

‘I shall not comment much upon this paragraph – it must surely be unnecessary; for you yourself on reading it over, cannot fail to be struck with much that cannot fail to have occurred to me’ – now, my darling if you wish me to know what did occur to you, you must explain, for in truth I cannot guess for in my conscience nothing ought to have occurred but a very satisfied feeling that at least I was not mercenary, and should not cost more than my own means would provide. In as much as I cannot bring myself to say more than I have already done on money matters you may perhaps think I am still unconcerned but I do not mean to say, that I would throw away any just or fair way of improving my pecuniary advantages’ – August cottage given up – Charles could not get the money without a mortgage, and would not (could not)’ give that – filled the other end of my letter in answer to Mariana saying I was satisfied – had I had her letter the 1st thing this morning, should not have written what I did some hours ago – all I meant was one could not prudentially be indifferent on the subject of money matters – 

Mariana’s argumentation not very logically deducible from the paragraph in question she writes heavily and formally and I like not her style she may well talk nowadays of not being mercenary when she will have her jointure and my fortune to come to she could be mercenary for herself when she married Charles but she cannot now be mercenary for me? the fact is I had better see her again and see how she pleases me nowadays I have my doubts [I] not she is changed? 

Sealed up the envelope containing my letter in envelope to ‘Miss Maclean 1 half sheet full and 2 1/2pp. of another 1/2 sheet unluckily not sealed, and this and 1/4 sheet letter full to Miss Hobart in envelope to ‘Miss Hobart Honourable Lady Stuart’s Whitehall’, and at 2 5/.. gave this to George for the Embassy, and gave him for the great post my letter (3pp. and long ends small and close) to ‘Mrs Lawton, Lawton Hall, Lawton, Cheshire, Angleterre’ – 

Somehow I knew of leaving the letter to Miss Maclean unsealed but unluckily did not think of it might be disagreeable if Miss Hobart saw line seven from the bottom of page last but one – 

Had just written so far of today at 2 55/.. – then till 4 3/4 reading over Mariana’s letter, and writing her 1 page and 4 lines very small and close – 

In answer to the crypt on the other side – 

A useless day this for science – I will take care to have less to explain with Mariana in future – 

Lovely day – I read last night while undressing and this morning in the fiacre [Δcɑλojos] à, my school edition nonnulli è Luciani Dialogis (London 1726), and brought the book and my Greek grammar here with me this morning – off at 5 1/4 – sauntered along the quais – home at 6 25/.. – dressed – dinner at 6 3/4 – came to my room at 8 1/2 – settled with George – said I was much annoyed at the answer he gave me yesterday – he said he was very low – very well, said I, you have been in the family almost 10 years you ought to have known me better but the next time it occurs I shall take it as a warning – now take notice if I say I will do a thing no entreaty can prevail – 

On coming home this afternoon found on my desk long rigmarole note from Monsieur Saint Romain explaining who he is, fancying from my asking on Wednesday at Daly C’s why he adopted the name of Saint Romain that he ought to give me a long explanation for fear I should think him wishing to make himself greater than he really is – nonsense – sat musing – violent thunder storm between 7 and 8 – very heavy rain and loud thunder and lightning even till now after 9 – coffee at 9 5/.. – came to my room at 10 25/.. at which hour Fahrenheit 65 1/2 – fair, but raining heavily till about 10.

[pixiealtaira]

I was tagged by @chocoholicannanymous to post the first lines of the last ten fics I wrote...on. They all were WIPs..all of them.  It might be a bit embarrassing to admit that this doesn’t even make a dent in the WIPs in progress.  Nope...not a dent.

I realize I tend to long first paragraphs often, so I went with between 3 and 6 lines...

Pretty much nothing as a name...so I’ll refer to it by the title of the doc.

So, with our further fluffiery...from what I worked on latest to ten back....

1) Modeling AU ---glee WIP

Santana, Rachel and Kurt were filling the condiment bottles and chatting as they watched while the group of 4 singing wait staff finished their last song. Or rather Rachel and Santana were chatting and Kurt was trying to ignore them while not letting them know he was ignoring them, or at least not letting Rachel know he was ignoring them.   He wasn’t incredibly happy with anyone that moment, although he was at a better place with Santana than with Rachel.  It could have been because he and Santana had had it out a bit earlier so the air was partially cleared, but not cleared enough for him to be helping her chat with Rachel.

2) NaNoWriMo 2017 ---- glee wip, also second part to the story above but nano wants new works...so I made it one (this year nano was a failure...ended up with too much family drama going on and the son was a senior in highschool)

Kurt Hummel trudged into the costume workshop attached to the theater department at NYU.  He wasn’t sure Rosie, who he was supposed to meet up with was even there yet, as it was ridiculous o’clock in the morning, but the back entrance door was open so he figured someone responsible was inside.

“hello?” Kurt called out.

“In the room with the sewing machines, back right hand door.” Kurt heard yelled back to him.

3) NaNoWriMo 2016 ------glee wip...again this year of nano was a failure...but that was because I was sick for most of it

The summer after Blaine’s massive meltdown and tantrum and the subsequent break-up was looking to be…difficult. Horrid. Soul crushing. Kurt saw no relief from it. There was no one to ease the feeling that somehow he was solely to blame. He had no one to talk to, really.  Artie blamed Kurt and wouldn’t give him the time of day.  He was the only one still in New York City. He hadn’t heard from Elliot or Dani since before he was bashed back in February…he remembered asking about why he hadn’t and getting a vague brushing off and then the bashing happened and then every moment was focused on Blaine again…making sure he wasn’t feeling inadequate or ignored. And no body at work spoke with him, at least not at the diner. 

4) CM-Glee cross --------Criminal minds Glee crossover WIP...I am determined to finish this and it’s companion fic...I will...at some point

If one had asked, which of course no one ever did, Spencer Reid would have actually told that anyone who’d asked that he would have rather been anywhere else than where he was.  He’d have liked to have had the opportunity to give some input, to have some options! Yes, he’d had some …issues, especially when things were dealing with teens, but it wasn’t like everyone else he worked with had always done everything exactly right each and every time either.  (Morgan and any pretty women they worked with in any way shape or form…for example. Hotch stopped Spencer from talking before he got that pointed out though.)  These weren’t even really teens, for the most part…at least not high school students. Out of the six deaths, only one was a student.  Spencer did not see the reason Hotch had stared at him the whole time he gave his lecture on not letting themselves get too emotionally involved.  Nor did he see why HE and HE alone had been left at the police station when they arrived. He was actually an agent, for Pete’s sake.

5)nanowrimo 2013 ------glee and criminal minds crossover WIP...yes you read that date right,however this ficis over 80000 words and I think could be finished quickly if I could just get past one fricking scene

After Kurt’s summer from hell, Kurt Hummel had hoped that things would be better for the school year, or at least the same things wouldn’t be bad.  He was really tired of the repetition of misery that was his life lately. However, when it came down to it, school had been going just like it had the year before.   Granted, he’d only been tossed into the dumpster once so far. (He suspected it was because he was harder to toss this year after putting on a few inches in height.)  However, the locker slams had become brutal again and slushies were still a routine.

6) why Kurt speaks fluent french ----I suck at titles. Glee WIP.  Somehow half what was written for this got lost...on some hard drive or flash drive was another 5000 to 10000 words, but I have not been able to find it so we spent a bit over the summer rewriting.

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the parking lot of Hill Side Elementary School, and wondered once again where the hill that she’d figured it was named after actually was.  It certainly wasn’t anywhere near the school.  False advertising…that ought to be a good reason not to have Kurt go to there, although she was pretty certain her husband would disagree.  Elizabeth hated the school.  She had hated it from the start, really…from the moment they got the letter in the mail that told them that due to the schools nearest them being under construction still and the next closest school being under renovation and so only being able to house half the students it generally did…her child was slated to go to Hill Side.

7) Kurtoberfest day 16 holiday recipes --- WIP, almost done, maybe, au where Finn is alive

Kurt remembers the day Finn Hudson’s career path was chosen.  Finn had come to New York to ‘hang’ with his brother and sneer at Rachel and torment Santana.  (Ok, Finn said he’d come to hang with Kurt, but he spent more time sneering at Rachel and tormenting Santana than hanging with Kurt, to the point of refusing to go site seeing to places Finn had wanted to see in favor of bugging the girls.) Kurt and Finn had been watching old comedies waiting for Rachel to get back so Finn could bug her when Kurt switched from Sister Act to Kindergarten Cop.  Finn had never seen Kindergarten Cop. Kurt was frankly dumbfounded about that fact, seriously.  Kindergarten Cop was like a staple of movie viewing.  Finn watched Kindergarten Cop with an intensity that Kurt had only ever seen him give to 45 buck steaks and a basketball ball game on TV once that Finn had bet 300 dollars on.  Finn didn’t even notice when Rachel came stomping into the loft and then left again.

8)Kurtoberfest prompt 17 harry potter au ---glee and HP crossover

When Harry Potter left Britain, and the wizarding world, he decided to run to someplace he could get lost in.  He beat dear old Voldie, he’d won the damned war for them, and all he got from it was fits from people who didn’t like how he did it…he should have used magic, not non-magical means and he certainly shouldn’t have used a snake to help…and proof of just how manipulative certain people had been in his life, which thankfully the goblins had helped him with after he proved to them he did not sign anything giving anyone means to form marriage and partnership contracts with anyone. Half the Weasley’s weren’t talking to him, and he was fine with that after finding out that Ginny had been feeding him love potions because he wasn’t responding the way she wanted and that Dumbledore had sold him off to her mom, essentially in trade for her pledging the aid of all her children to Dumbledore’s cause.   He also didn’t appreciate that Dumbledore had promised Harry’s magic to the ministry in exchange for the ministry turning a blind eye to certain things Dumbledore had done…like sealing his parents wills with no authority to do so.

9)  Severus Snape meets a Small Harry What If ----Harry PotterWIP one of like 8 with this name in my WIP folder.  This one has a big harry and a small harry and is a bit dark

As Severus Snape watched over Flitwick’s classroom, full of Gryffindor third years, he cursed the fact that the quarantine of a house also included their head of house.  He cursed the outbreak of – what was it…ah, yes… the Chicken Pox – some silly Muggle disease a first year had brought back with them after a family gathering during the short spring break which had spread through the Ravenclaws like a wildfire.

10) T and T Kurt....Glee WIP  Just how did Kurt’s tiara collection get started?

Elizabeth Hummel looked around the dressing room area of the pageant and briefly contemplated her sanity…or lack of…in getting involved with it all.  She was tired of the tantrums and whining and screaming done by both mothers and children.  Luckily her child wasn’t involved in any of that.  Her child was seated off to the side.

“Katerina Bates, please come stand by mummy.” Elizabeth called.

The child slid off the chair they were seated on and hopped over.

“Elli. Not Katerina.”

“Katerina today. You can be Elli tomorrow.”

Yeah....there were six other in that Kurtoberfest bunch being worked on, three other HP and three other CM fics..because I told myself I would finish a WIP this summer and my mind said NOPE, Will no concentrate on One. Nope Nope Nope.

Also wrote lines for beans  for Clever Jack and the Magic Beanstalk because of course the magic beans needed a whole mini scene song and dance number to themselves...of course they did.

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: greywash

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi, I'm greywash! I usually go by Gins, I'm 37, I'm an engineer, and I live with my beta/writing and queerplatonic life partner HBBO (havingbeenbreathedout) in the cheap(er) seats outside San Francisco.

How long have you been writing for?

I apparently "wrote" and "illustrated" a story for my mom about a dragon who forgets his best friend's birthday when I was three, so. It's been a minute. I kill fewer crayons these days.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

Well... basically, I followed @longnationalnightmare in from another fandom, and a few people on my Tumblr dash were reblogging gifsets, so I originally watched the show basically just for more context. (The threeway. By "more context," I mean "the threeway.") Anyway, it took me about 0.3 episodes to be completely hooked: I had read the books a few years back and was ambivalent about a lot of things in them, so when I started watching the show I was expecting a lot less than I got? I'd expected a sort of silly B-show with lousy acting, and, I mean... it is frequently *very* silly, but then it turned out that the cast ranges from 'very good' to 'incredible', and the interpersonal dynamics are *fantastic*, and those are both pure fannish bait for me. The show's not perfect, but they fixed a lot of my problems with the books, a lot of which lived on a character development level... I think the show really has done some incredible work with Quentin, especially; and also with depictions of complex, liminally-sexual queer friendships, like the relationship between Margo and Eliot, which I feel like I've never encountered represented this well in any other visual media source, ever.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Ooh, that's hard. Eliot is just my hands-down full-stop favorite character, but there's always that tricky question of "who is your favorite character to write *in the point of view of*" versus "who is your favorite character to write *about*," especially when you have a relationship or relationships you're really invested in (for me, the asymmetrical Quentin/Eliot/Margo triad). When I want to write stories that are love letters to Eliot Waugh, which is often, then I want to write from Quentin or Margo's point of view, because when I write Eliot's point of view, I am inevitably writing love letters to one or the both of them.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

Well, since I came into the fandom during the post-S3 hiatus—I started watching the show in October—just by default that's where most of my work is grounded, so far.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

Oh boy, I sure am! I have a lot of work to do on my 39 Graves fic, and then I still have, hm, probably another... twenty or thirty thousand words, ish? On "The Marriage Plot," which is the sequel (...sort of) to "Firebird" and also my sort of... emotional raison d'fanfic, for The Magicians. It's sort of a, uhh... well, let's call it an un-arranged-marriage fic, is the best way I can think of to put it.

How long is your “to do list”?

Oh gosh. It's atrocious, but it's also not all for /The Magicians/. There's "The Marriage Plot," but I also have a long-running /Sherlock/ WIP that got toootally hijacked by me suddenly desperately needing to write hundreds of thousands of words about Eliot and Quentin not getting married, and so I'm just getting back into that; and then I have 39 Graves. I also still owe my partner a /Sneaky Pete/ storylet and have two other outstanding prompts from the summer, one for /Lewis/ and the other for... I.... totally don't remember! /The Good Place/, I think? I saved it around here somewhere. On top of that, I'm doing fan_flashworks bingo over on Dreamwidth, and I don't want my entire bingo card to be "The Magicians," though so far that's been somewhat difficult to resist. And I love the weekly prompt idea that the Rec Center and the Neitherlands Library are running for S4! I had a blast writing for the "Identity" prompt and am looking forward to this week's as well. Well, at least I write fast.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

I think I have to say "Firebird," because I haven't finished "The Marriage Plot," and who knows how that'll go; but they're so inextricably linked in my mind it's hard for me to think of "Firebird" as like—its own separate thing? I guess I can say that "Firebird" was really uncomfortable in places to write, so I'm proud of myself for getting it done without flinching away from all the, like, body horror and murder and super dubious consent; and I think it does what I want it to do. We'll see how I feel when I finish "The Marriage Plot."

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

Well, I definitely haven't been here long enough or written enough stuff to have that feeling, but—let's say "The Get Down," which is just a little bonbon about Margo and Eliot being best friends and banging a psychic. I love themmmmm~ ~ ~

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

I'm not particularly superstitious about writing, but I am hugely invested in my writing routine—I'm a write-every-day person, and I do mean 'every day'; I'm on a 2,179 day streak on 750words.com—that's a little shy of six years. People are usually horrified when I admit this, but: I get up at 5:15 in the morning seven days a week so that I can put on headphones and write for at least an hour and often more like two before work, or whatever it is that I'm doing that day. (I also go to bed at like.... eight forty-five. I am a party animal.) I also very frequently write on my lunch breaks and have the excellent fortune to live with my writing partner, so we spend loads of time writing on the weekends and talking about fiction. This is literally the life of my dreams, but you have to be a very specific kind of obsessive weirdo to feel that way, I think.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I am too much of an egg in this fandom to have an answer to this one yet, I think. :) I probably wouldn't start a longfic during the season, but shortfic, sure, why not?

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

"Firebird," because of all the aforementioned body horror and murder and super dubious consent. I am a delicate flower, who happens to be fascinated with narrative about people confronting their personal monstrousness. It's a tough row to hoe, man.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

For /The Magicians/, the particular dead horse that I love to flog is Fillorian marriage, and the implications that forced fidelity have for consent; and also just for how intimacy *works*, within a marriage or a long-term relationship where that sense of choice, of choosing and being chosen, is so much of what lends richness to the relationship.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Nonfannishly: Georgette Heyer, Sarah Waters, Herman Melville, Miranda July. Fannishly.... whoo boy. In /The Magicians/, I'm still catching up on all the great stuff that people have written! @longnationalnightmare , @adjovi , @achray , @shmazarov, @numinousnumbat , and @ohmarqueliot are some of my favorites so far... in other fandoms: gosh, where to even start, I've been in fandom for 20+ years, we could be here a while. I guess since we're on the subject (sort of) of the monstrous, I reread @1001cranes ' "disguise fair nature with hard-favoured rage" the other day and was just as floored by it now as I was... gosh, was that really seven years ago? Well, it's evergreen, go read it again. @septembriseur for fiction about altered consciousness. @drawsaurus for the interplay between warmth and brittleness and humor and darkness. @helenish for her endings. @havingbeenbreathedout for the interplay between sex and story, and basically everything else as well.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

Right now, I have open on my laptop: (1) @astolat 's "And I Alone Have Escaped to Tell You [which I've read before], (2) @ohmarqueliot 's "Reaching in the Dark" [which I haven't started], and (3) what is, in context, the most ironic thing *ever*: a handbook on strategies for managing ADHD. What? Don't judge me.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

Basically that learning to write is just figuring out how to ask yourself "What are you trying to do with this _______?" (comma, word, line, paragraph, chapter, story), and then figuring out how to answer. (Thanks, Dad!)

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

Oh, I mean—I'm pretty okay with even the totally predictable bits of my narrative voice, I don't stress about it too hard anymore, but yes, there are a bunch of words I *know* I overuse. Especially since I'm a little bit blind to repeated words if I'm reading and not listening to my work read aloud, which—I try to do at least one pass where I get my computer to read to me when I'm editing, but I need to have both time and focus to make that work, both of which, I find, are often in short supply. "Tells"—he tells her, she told him—is *the worst*; I'm always looking for it my brain just skips over completely, it's like it's not even a word for me anymore.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

Oh dear. I'd been in fandom for several years before I started writing, but as I recall, the first thing I actually wrote was an exceptionally overwrought and tragic Snape POV Remus/Sirius story. I have no idea what happened to it and I'm almost certainly happiest that way.

Self-edit or Beta?

Both!

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes?

All are delicious.

Smut, Fluff or Angst?

Smut.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn?

Quick and dirty on the sex and slow burn on the feelings.

Favourite season?

Season Two

Favourite Episode?

Cheat Day

Favourite book?

The Magicians

Three favourite words?

lovely, devastating, yearning

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[silentauroriamthereal]

So. I met Benedict Cumberbatch the other night. 

I’m still processing, honestly, and the big thing that I need to write is another letter to him, one which I assume going in that he will never read (I can’t even imagine the volume of fanmail he must receive!), but I’ll still write it because I need to say it, even if it’s never read. In this post I want to talk about some of the stuff I want to say there, so I’m just kind of working through my thoughts here. 

This is going to be long, and a little emotional, so I’m putting it behind a cut to spare your dashes (among other things!). 

I have a few different things to say about the entire thing. First, let me just go through the evening as it unfolded: 

I managed to buy a ticket to the New York debut of Letters Live. I’ve adored the concept of this event since the first time they held it and when I found out they were doing one in New York right during the tiny window of when I was going to be there, I jumped at the opportunity, though the tickets were uncomfortably expensive for me. There is literally no other living person that I would have been more excited to see perform and potentially have a tiny chance to meet, though, and the timing seemed almost foreordained, so I did it. 

The event was phenomenal. A gigantic wall of a human was seated in front of me - an unpleasant man who was approximately 10 metres tall and 5 metres wide, and I’m 5′4, so... yeah. I waited until after the first act and managed to slip into a much better seat, hahaha! The performance was so well-planned, I thought. The selection of letters was specially curated for an American audience, with most of the content written by Americans. To hear Rose McGowan read her own letter to the Hollywood higher-ups was chillingly powerful, as was hearing Toni Morrison’s letter to Barack Obama. There were several letters funny enough to make me cry with laughter, and to my pleased surprise one of these was read by another well-loved actor of mine, Tom Hollander (who I keep feeling so sorry for these days - people must confuse him with Tom Holland all the time, and they’re not remotely similar, lol). Benedict’s first letter was an absolutely hilarious one that just went around facebook about a month ago, written by a Canadian man apologizing for having absolutely trashed, via a flock of seagulls, his hotel room in Victoria eighteen years ago. He also read one of the Chris Barker/Bessie Moore exchanges with Loo Brealey, and finished the evening with Stewart Stern’s incredibly stirring and moving letter to the family of James Dean following his death. 

Listen: seeing Benedict perform live, with my own two naked eyes, breathing the same air as him - it may sound ridiculous, but that alone was profoundly moving to me. Just seeing him, period. Then seeing him perform - breathtaking. And then hearing him read this particular letter was just - it’s hard to even put it into words. I felt a little as though I was hearing him read what could be his own epitaph. Listen to these words: 

A star goes wild in the places beyond air — a dark star born of coldness and invisible. It hits the upper edges of our atmosphere and look! It is seen! It flames and arcs and dazzles. It goes out in ash and memory. But its after-image remains in our eyes to be looked at again and again. For it was rare. And it was beautiful. And we thank God and nature for sending it in front of our eyes. So few things blaze. So little is beautiful. Our world doesn't seem equipped to contain its brilliance too long. Ecstasy is only recognizable when one has experienced pain. Beauty only exists when set against ugliness. Peace is not appreciated without war ahead of it. How we wish that life could support only the good. But it vanishes when its opposite no longer exists as a setting. It is a white marble on unmelting snow. And Jimmy stands clear and unique in a world where much is synthetic and dishonest and drab. He came and rearranged our molecules.

I mean, this is exactly how I already feel about the nature of Ben’s talent, the privilege I feel at being allowed to experience it in any way, in any medium. He has a talent that lights up the cosmos and I’m just so grateful to the universe that this talent exists and has been given a place to be seen and witnessed by the rest of us. His talent blazes, and my life is the richer for being able to experience it. 

I tried really, really, really hard not to hope too much to have a chance to meet him at the stage door after. It’s kind of impossible not to hope, but I told myself sternly that I already never thought I would have the chance to see him perform in person, and it really would have been enough. I’d joked to my friends before leaving for New York that if he so much as laid his own two beautiful eyes on me and actually saw me, heard my voice, any of that, that I could die in peace. I’ve never expected that, though, to have any sort of fleeting brush of contact like that. It’s not the nature of the way a person like him relates to a person like me. In fact, allow me a tangential paragraph here: 

Being a fan can feel one-sided. I know everything that a person can possibly know about a person whom I have never met. I can guarantee that I have seen, read, or listened to every interview he’s done, ever, with very, very few exceptions. ALL of the press junkets. I could have written his imdb page. Like many of us! I know every line on his beautiful face. I know the freckles on his skin, the tendons of his forearms and calves. I know every part of his physicality that’s ever been shown to the public, and with him, that’s a fair bit! His voice is my ringtone (it’s a clip of Sherlock saying “it’s a text alert; it means I’ve got a text”) and his voice is more dearly familiar to me than most of the people I know personally. I know his facial expressions, though he’s constantly reinventing the way the muscles of his face can move for every new role he plays. I’ve analyzed his accents from a phonetics standpoint. In short, I know everything that’s possible for someone like me to know about someone like him. And he knows nothing about me - not my name, not what I do, not what I eat, not my voice or my talents or my eyes or fingernails or passions or pet peeves - not of my existence, full stop. But that doesn’t mean that our relationship - and bear with me on that word - is one-sided. This is how it works: he gives. He gives and gives and gives. Benedict doesn’t phone it in. He BLAZES. He burned through so much energy playing Hamlet (any wonder, have you seen him in it???) in the summer of 2016 that one of the reasons Dr. Strange had to push back its filming schedule was to give him the chance to bulk up again after the play’s run. Benedict commits, and like the aforementioned star analogy, he radiates energy to every possible point of contact around him. THIS is his side of the relationship: he blazes out his talent/energy/love/passion/commitment, and we receive it, and the appreciation and love and passion we feel in return for it is something that we share with each other, not with him. That’s how fandom works: it’s not a direct thing. Not in the standard, interpersonal way. He shines; we turn to each other rather than to him, to talk about how it made us feel, how it moved us, how it excited us and made us laugh and inspired us. Somehow, this entire experience crystallized this for me perfectly. 

Now, back to the stage door: there was an absolute CRUSH of people at the barricades. I don’t want to talk about this part too much because it was extremely unpleasant. We had to wait for a long time. I would have stayed until he left the building, no matter how long it took, unless it would have made me look like a total creep, because that’s not something I ever want to do to someone I admire. He did come out eventually, and that’s when the pushing and screaming started. I once said that I would never scream at a celebrity, and I didn’t. The crowd, unfortunately, was a mix of three groups of people: 1. aggressive paparazzi 2. aggressive fanboys who had brought comic book shit for Ben to sign so that they could sell it on ebay 3. genuine fans. Guess which group was not at all problematic?? Turns out I was standing right in a knot of #2′s, and because they were hollering at him, like screaming at him to get over there and sign their shit, Ben went over to the other side of the barricade to sign stuff there. He told off one of the paps and said he was there to be with the “real people”, which I appreciated. He did come back near us, and I had the briefest of moments to talk to him. I thanked him for not having become a lawyer, and he laughed. Everyone was thrusting stuff in his face and yelling. I just had my little ticket from the show, and the comic book manchildren kept putting their stuff on top of mine. Ben finally said he was going back inside, that his wife was there waiting for him, but he turned back toward me and I managed to ask (possibly plead) if he would sign my ticket. He looked me in the eye then, smiled, and said, “Of course”. 

I stammered out a congratulations on Patrick Melrose and he smiled again and said thank you, while he was signing. But that one moment of eye contact is all I wanted. He looked at me, and he saw me. And I made him laugh. 

I was literally almost suffocated by the awful people around me, none of which were: a) female, or b) actual fans. I’ve thought sometimes, while watching videos of Benedict on the red carpet, with all of those media folk screaming at him to turn this way, smile into their camera, all of that, that it feels very much like harassment. I know that people in his position know that it comes with the job, that the fame and riches are supposed to be the offset of having no privacy, of being followed by media and fans alike, quite literally, of being shrieked and barked at like they’re trained performing animals (which I don’t like, either!). I know he knows that, but it doesn’t mean that it’s pleasant in any way. He handles it like a pro, because he is in every way a consummate professional. But it can’t be pleasant for him. He’s incredibly, extraordinarily generous with his time. As a performer myself, I know how I feel when I’ve just finished a solo concert or an opera - I feel like taking off my heels and fancy dress, putting on pyjama pants and relaxing every muscle I have on a couch somewhere, preferably with a tall drink in hand. Performing Hamlet is considered one of the most demanding male roles in the English theatrical repertoire, yet Benedict would not only perform it a stunning eight times per week, but then sometimes spend up to THREE HOURS signing autographs and taking selfies after. If he chooses to limit how long he gets screamed at by aggressive, even violent paps and shitheads who just want to use his signature for money, good for him! I respect that, even if I felt incredibly sorry for the people further back who didn’t get to have that, one brief moment of contact with this person we all admire so very, very deeply. And so, because of this, because of seeing firsthand how gross people are to him and just the sheer volume of what he puts up with for our sake, so that some of us, at least, can have that tiny moment, I don’t think I would do it again, if only to reduce that volume by one teeny tiny amount. I got my one, deeply, deeply hoped-for, fleeting, searing moment of contact. It’s all that I could have asked for. He saw me, and I had the chance to say some tiny part of my gratitude to him for what he gives of himself to all of us. That’s all I wanted. 

The wait, the near-suffocation, all of that, was worth it, to win that one precious moment. I clutched my precious ticket and fought my way out of the crowd and wandered dazedly off toward the subway, through late Friday night Times Square crowds, feeling so much that I didn’t even know how to process it. I felt like I was about to burst into tears and I couldn’t have even said why or whether I was happy or sad or possibly a cornucopia of every human emotion ever. I felt - and still feel - a bit like I just had a brush with an actual, blazing sun. It was shattering, and I will be forever changed by it. I am so grateful. 

[fox-household]

Fox Household Christmas Morning 2018

So, while I didn’t end up having time for a proper Christmas chapter or anything, (sorry about that). But I still wanted to at least have something typed for what they did or what happened I guess. This is basically just going to be a description, I wrote this all in one go until 1 in the morning. Honestly staying up this late or even later for Christmas Eve, last year I spent a huge portion of time playing Person 3 FES and its epilogue, The Answer trying to finish it, I didn’t finish it then but I did on Christmas day, so that was cool, those feels to man... Persona 3 is the best in the series for sure when it comes to story. The Christmas Eves before that I ended up spending my nights on an app called Geeking until 2 to 3 in the morning, that was fun, haven’t been on there for a while now though. The next chapter is going to be the New Years one I mentioned, just need to force myself to finish it off without distracting myself as I’ve been doing recently, it’ll get there. Hope this doesn’t have to many errors since I got a little tired writing this. Merry Christmas everyone. 

Anyway, Christmas morning arrives and as it turns out, Asgore is the first one to wake up who then went onto wake-up Clover and then they woke up Sci then the chain reaction moved to Alphys until finally Muffet was awakened. Before moving on I would like to point out that for the first four, when they woke up they found a sort of web sac hanging from the roof which turned out to be Muffet’s presents, later it was found out she tried to give it early so she didn’t have to watch them open it and their reactions or thank you’s, Asgore ended up giving a lecture on doing such an ‘’unchristmas’’ action. None of them did open it in their room though, some figured out that it was presents and the others were just to scared to open it without context.

Alright, so next they all moved out to the living room, but before this there was a ring at the doorbell. For some background here, for newcomers and people from the RP for some of it. Twice we did a Christmas RP special and everyone got sweaters with their own puns (Actually I should also mention we basically did a CPAU with our characters, look it up if you haven’t it’s funny). For FH, I have made it canon that no matter where anybody is in the world on Christmas day, when they awoke, they would have a doorbell ring and when they went to check who rang the door, they found a Christmas sack which its contents included a sweater for the specific person. Nobody really knows the how or the why except that maybe Christmas magic actually exists. This does include other people as well unless you don’t want it to.  

Alphys went to the door and brought inside a sack which to everyone (except Clover) expected since it’d happened for the last two years. Sci got his green sweater where it said ‘Merry Mathsmas’ and around the sleeves there were strips that were embroided with maths symbols. Asgore got a crimson sweater that said, ‘Hope Christmas won’t be a Reigny Day in gold lettering’, the sweater also had a golden crown under the writing around where his belly is (Honestly thinking on it, it has very similar colours to Gryffindor merch in Harry Potter). Muffet had a sweater that was grey and purple, the clothing article was made of webs and according to her, was mostly made by her ‘children’, with the simple phrase ‘I am to fancy for my sweater’, which while it did have the slight chance it was mocking her, it amused her all the same and she was relieved she didn’t have to advertise Christmas puns. Alphys got a sweater that was a strange and not quite even mix of black and white that was in all these different curvy lines and stuff. People found it strange that hers wasn’t exactly Christmas related and while it was a pun, it made some of the people she showed a little weirded out or react strangely, nobody quite understood why besides that it looked strange, Alphys herself always preferred everybody else’s. On hers, in green lettering said ‘Math Puns are the first Sine of Madness’, except the word madness was in blood red, the main saving grace that gave it any sign of normalcy was the cute little Sine graph on the chest area that looked like it was ripped straight from a graphics calculator, people just brushed it off as being a weird one. However, what nobody had expected was that there was a fifth sweater, a new one for the girl who had not been related to any of the RP characters during Christmas so now it was her turn to receive a brand new, never before seen sweater. What Clover ended up unfolding was a yellow sweater, on the front and back of it was a what looked like the reticule and lines from a sniper optical sight made of dark brown (I’ll have a picture to show what I meant). On the back in the middle of the target was what appeared to be her cowboy hat and, on the front, just like the others, there was writing. On the front written in a silvery grey was ‘I Beretta not get coal for Christmas’. While she did her best to hide it and would never admit it, she was actually pretty happy to get her own sweater and was feeling a little left out at first.

Now onto the exciting part, them presents. I’m going to split each person into a hopefully small paragraph for what they got starting with Muffet. Also I need you to realise that Sci was giving out the presents in a Santa hat and Asgore was wearing reindeer antlers while also helping Sci with the handing out.

Muffet: Muffet specifically got two presents, one from Sci and one from the others. Since Clover and Asgore don’t have jobs at the moment and they don’t really have much of an allowance or anything, at the same time Alphys really doesn’t make all that much money herself (a topic for another time, AKA just ask I guess) so to help each other out, the three of them teamed up for Sci and Muffet. The team of three struggled for quite a while since the only thing they could really think of was a tea set, but they were sure she had a bunch of those, until they remembered another hobby of hers and with a little help from Sci’s suggestions, they figured it out. Muffet ended up opening the Christmas wrapping of a small wooden, suitcase shaped thing that opened up into a chess set, they figured out she could use one after they remembered she used to complain a little bit that her only chess set was left back home, and she didn’t want to risk bringing her glass one. Sci went on solo and with much less hassle than the others. The second gift the spider ended up gaining was a pair of very good quality headphones, ones that would help her listen to her music when she was working, something that only Sci really knew she loved. After opening the two of her presents, she did her best to act all cool about it and while she mostly succeeded, she did end up giving one of her rare, genuine friendly smiles, that show up every once a while, to everyone.

Sci: The skeleton also got two presents since it was from the trio and Muffet. The trio took a little time with him as well and probably struggled a bit and pretty much ended up looking stuff up online for ideas, in the end they just figured they could give him something amusing that he would use in a helpful way. So what they ended up finding and using was a Darth Vader toaster that made Star Wars toast, also they found him a Binary tie on the internet to add on the side. In Muffet’s web sac which was quite heavy, he found two things that were related, one was just a much better, higher end coffee machine than the small time one they already had, this one had a bunch of buttons and settings he was certain he would never use. On the side of that was also a small handheld expresso maker that could basically make coffee on the go. Although Muffet did warn him that if he ever overdoses on caffeine or she sees him sneaking in some Red Bull somewhere to use in combination, she wouldn’t hesitate to confiscate them off him. Sci found the toaster and an incredibly amusing present, one that really helped put him in a fun mood, the coffee gear was also very welcome, and he knew for certain there was going to be a heck of a lot of use out of it all. Sci thanked everyone happily and was itching to test out the new machines for breakfast.

Alphys: So, for Alphys, Clover and Asgore couldn’t rely on her, so they decided to try and get Muffet to help them a little, what she ended up doing was giving them a freaking $100 bill and saying just use that. Asgore refused to take so much so she ended up forcing them to take $75 instead. They did realise they probably didn’t need to work with Alphys after that, but they felt to guilty to ditch or anything, plus they wanted to help her too. Anyway, the two kids ended up giving her an incense holder along with a large collection of different incenses that were said to promote relaxation and sleep, Lavender being a big part of it. The logic of it was that since Al seemed so tired all the time, incense might be able to help her sleep. Muffet’s present for her was a few anime posters she could put up in her room, from ‘Mew Mew’, ‘Cells at Work’, ‘Violet Evergarden’ to finally the movie ��Your Name’. Muffet did also grumble afterwards that ads had started thinking that she was into anime. Sci’s present was simple in that it was a gift card to a science supply place, some place where she could buy whatever she wanted for her basement lab. The only way I can describe Al after that was gleeful, she was super happy, all the gifts to her were perfect and thoughtful, although she needn’t worry that her presents weren’t good enough compared to those. (I’m onto you Al -_- )

Clover: Muffet straight up got her a gun range membership so she could go out and shoot stuff, although she did require adult supervision. Al and Sci were pretty clueless about what to get her to the point that they straight up asked her, hoping it was something reasonable. She did end up giving them a small list, Sci ended up giving her a small pocket knife that he made very clear to be only used responsibly. Alphys ended up giving her some gun cleaning and maintenance supplies she found on eBay, just so Clover wouldn’t have to buy new ones for a little while longer. Asgore ended up getting her six different old, classic western movies and straight up challenged her to a marathon to see who would last the longest. Clover is someone who values practicality and the use of the present rather than the large amount of effort, that and she appreciated someone getting her anything at all in the first place, so even if Sci and Al had to ask her or even if she was sure Asgore managed to find those movies in a cheap bargain bin somewhere, she was very happy thankful for what she got, giving everyone a respectful hat tip and a thank you.

Asgore: Finally, the prince’s turn to get presents. Muffet ended up getting him a large supply of Golden Flower tea bags despite their rivalry when it came to making tea, along with that she also got him his own ornate, fancy looking tea set, one that was coloured in gold and red, real royal looking. Muffet made her own fun little comment that ‘’it was only fair that her greatest rival has the equipment to pose a challenge’’. Sci got him a book that was about rare, obscure and in some of the weird cases, mythical plants from legends, for the most part though it was a botany book. Alphys also had a similar idea to the skeleton and got him his very own tools to work on the garden, newer ones that he could keep in the shed to replace the older and crap ones she had from the beginning. Clover had actually originally planned to go the botany route, except she found out both Al and Sci were doing the same thing, so she made it her vow to do something at least a little different. So, what she ended up doing was getting a small tent that could only fit about two to three people in it and offered to take him on a camping trip in the woods. Asgore had always loved the idea of spending at least a few days in nature just for the hell of it, for fun and relaxation, so she figured this was the perfect opportunity. Asgore as expected was really happy about all of this, every single time he opened a new present he gave them his most sincere thanks and most appreciative smile. He gave everyone a hug… or well he offered one to Muffet and she threatened to stab him (Although he did give her one later in the day and managed to escape her wrath).

(Left one for Clover’s Sweater)

(Sci’s presents, because I could and because I had to look them up)

So yeah, that was their Christmas, I hope that was a good enough of an explanation. After that they spent the day chilling, they did have a Christmas meal together that Muffet and Asgore made, roast turkey and all. Thanks for reading, myself and the other five wish you all a Merry Christmas, you all deserve to have a great holiday, wish you all the best.

[geneshaven]

Dear Felicity

This letter was inspired by that scene in 609 when Felicity told Oliver that if he went to prison, she would wait for him.

 Leavenworth Federal Prison/August, 2020 /0214hrs.

 My love, I can safely say that these old school, pen-written letters we’ve been sending to one another the past 2 years has been the sole reason I haven’t attempted an escape from this place. They give me something to look forward to. All the lonely nights I spend in the darkness of my cell reading your letters reminds me that if I did escape and was caught, my time here would be extended, taking me even further away from you. I know we talked about this (I mean written about it) and you told me to stay put. I only have 3 more years. I got off cheap. Watson wanted me to go away for life. But you were right that I should not do anything stupid and I won’t. I look at those last 3 years I have to serve, and sometimes my head fills with chaotic thoughts, thoughts of making it home to you, if only for a brief moment before I would have to start running from pursuit. I once told you that I’ve been through much worse than prison. That was once true. But now, I have so much more to lose in my life, more than just my ability to survive.  It’s all I’ve been thinking about since I came to this place---how full my life has been since I brought that bullet-ridden laptop to you. We both know how damaged and lost I was for all those years leading up to you and me finally coming together for good. Being your husband, your partner and your best friend is what has helped me endure these long dark nights without you. The thought of you out there and the calmness you bring to my soul---it is what keeps me from scaling these prison walls and becoming a fugitive at large. There was a time I would have died to keep those closest to me safe, as you well know. It was a reckless and selfish way to live. I never allowed myself to think about what my brazen acts would do to those so close. I didn’t realize that even though my death would have ensured your safety, it would have also denied you that happiness I was so quick to wish for you. I learned the hard way that keeping you safe at the expense of my own life wouldn’t have brought you happiness, it would have brought only pain and loss and loneliness.  When I think about that, I am ashamed.

Whew! That was a long paragraph. Anyway, when Watson won her case against me and put me inside these walls, I’ve had all this time since to look back on the past 12 years. Felicity, you were the only reason I was able to crawl out of the cesspool my life was and stand on firm ground, to breathe fresh clean air and grow stronger. The one thing, the only thing that has empowered me all these years is having your love and light guiding me. And I’m not even going to mention the sex (at least not in detail) we’ve shared with each other. That would be a whole letter by itself. I will say though that it is the most passionate, raw and fulfilling love-making I’ve ever had, or will ever have. Touching you is like enveloping myself in silk---exotic and soft and life-changing.

Enough. There are no cold showers to be had around here at such a late hour. But to sum up: pleasuring myself is a poor substitute for the real thing. Giving in to the fantasy and imagining you here wrapped around me is a harsh self-abuse and just plain cruel. At this point, thinking about being naked with you, about being inside you and riding on the waves of pleasure you bring---it gives me the determination to wait out these last 3 years. You are the nirvana that awaits me upon my release.

There is one more thing I wanted to tell you before I call it a night. It might not matter much to you, but it’s something I’ve been reluctant to share with you and I cannot imagine why. It feels as if I’ve been keeping another secret from you. As I said, I’ve had nothing but time these last 2 years, alone with my thoughts, not only looking ahead but also behind.

I’m sure you remember our flight to Nanda Parbat, when we took Thea to save her live in the Lazarus Pit. You brought me a blanket and thanked me for letting you be there for me; not that I had any choice. Anyway, I told you that I came back to Starling City before they found me on the island. I told you I saw Thea and that I killed her drug dealer. Do you remember? Of course you do. But Felicity, Thea was not the only person I saw.

I said it was complicated. But really, it wasn’t. I was then unwillingly working with Masao and Argus. We broke into Queen Consolidated---it doesn’t really matter why anymore. I was in my mother’s office when a certain blonde IT girl strolled in.  She went to the desk and I watched her looking at a picture of my father and me. You said I was cute and that it was too bad I was dead. I was enamored, and you gave me a brief moment of normal. You were so beautiful amid the ugliness of my life, and for a second I thought of breaking my cover and telling you so.  Then you were gone and it would be another 2 years before I saw you again.

I told you on our first date that you were the first person I saw as a person after leaving Lian Yu. That was the honest truth then. But it was also the truth that night at QC when I watched you from afar.  Felicity, you had an aura about you on both nights. You brought a light that I wanted to bathe in, to cleanse myself of the darkness and hopelessness I was mired in back then. I have often wondered how you would have responded that night at QC if I made myself known. Would you have run screaming from the room as if seeing a ghost? Would you have been curious? Would you have still thought I was cute?

This admission may be my final lesson on being inclusive. After we “officially” met that day two years later in your cubicle, I began to think about Fate. As I stood there and lied to you about that laptop, I felt a kind of liberation that would not have been possible 2 years earlier. And, you made me smile---both times.

So, we can talk more about this if you want when I come home. But until then, what I can say is it was shown to me on those nights that beauty still exists in this world. Amid all the pain and darkness and death that filled my life for 5 years, you were an inspiration, a direction I could take, away from just being a survivor. I am only sorry that it took us so long to realize there is nobody else out there that can truly fulfill our lives.

Sorry if this letter seems a bit long-winded and meandering, but like I said, I have a lot of time to ponder on such things. It also makes me feel like you are in this cell with, giving me someone to talk to. I hope you are doing well. I can’t imagine how lonely you’re feeling. Okay, I can.  Probably as much as I feel. I am so grateful for the comfort my letters may bring you as much as yours do for me.

I am going to sign off now, my love. I will go to sleep with the anticipation that I will see you in my dreams.

With all my love,

Oliver.

@memcjo @it-was-a-red-heeler @almondblossomme @dmichellewrites @hope-for-olicity @wordslovedreams @1106angel @melolicity @bandanab310 @swordandarrow @olicityfanfluff @angelalafan @ruwithmeguys @cruzrogue

[pamphletstoinspire]

Understanding The Bible - A Practical Guide To Each Book In The Bible - Part 33

Written by: PETER KREEFT

TEN

________

How a Christian Is Different: First Corinthians

Today, especially in America, Catholics, like everyone else (except Orthodox Jews and Fundamentalists), want to be “accepted”. Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians is especially relevant to such people. Though it talks about dozens of separate issues, the most unifying theme is that Christians must be different.

Corinth was the largest, most cosmopolitan, and most decadent city in Greece. Two-thirds of its seven hundred thousand citizens were slaves. It was a major port and hub of commerce. Much of the commerce was in human flesh. “To act like a Corinthian” was an ancient saying meaning debauchery, especially prostitution. Men went to Corinth to take a moral holiday.

The city was also full of idolatry, which centered around Aphrodite, the goddess of sex. Her temple, atop an eighteen-hundred-foot promontory, had a thousand temple prostitutes. Paul had come here in the years A.D. 51 and 52 to evangelize. Now four or five years later, he writes this letter to address some of the problems of this new, struggling Church surrounded by an “advanced” world just like ours: a world in “advanced” stages of decay.

His main point is that Christians are called out of paganism to a radically distinctive lifestyle. For Christ is the Lord of every aspect of life. Paul is utterly Christocentric; in 1 Corinthians 1:30 he identifies four great abstract ideals (wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption) with Christ Himself. In 1 Corinthians 2:2 he says that he “decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ”. Any addition to Him would be a subtraction.

America is strikingly similar to Corinth. According to polls, most Catholics consider themselves “Americans who happen to be Catholics”, rather than “Catholics who happen to be Americans”. Two of the words they dislike the most are “authority” (or “lordship”) and “obedience”. Yet these are precisely what Paul calls for.

Christ always sought out the most needy, and His Church has always followed His lead. Christianity naturally flows to the lowest places, like water. Corinth was the world’s lowest place, the spiritual gutter. Yet the Corinthians thought of themselves as high, not low—like the high and airy temple of Aphrodite. For one thing, they were rich due to trade and prostitution. For another, they were well educated. Though they did not produce any philosophers, many philosophers from Athens taught there. The most prominent philosophical school at the time was probably Scepticism. The last thing any of them would believe was a man rising from the dead.

Into this atmosphere heavy with lust, greed, and pride, Paul had introduced the clear light of Jesus when he first visited (2:1-5). And he now continues the same strategy: not compromising, not pandering, not patronizing, but calling for the hard way, the distinctive way of living the life of Christ in a Christless world.

This is not a systematically ordered letter, like Romans. It moves from topic to topic. There are many minor topics, but the four major ones are (1) sectarianism, (2) faith and reason—Christianity and philosophy, (3) sex and love, and (4) the resurrection from the dead—both Christ’s and ours. Other topics include incest, pagan lawyers, eating food offered to idols, prostitution, virginity, marriage, divorce, the Eucharist, order in worship, speaking in tongues, and other spiritual gifts.

The first two of these major points are treated together since simple faith unites while pride in reason divides. Paul is utterly scandalized at the growing factionalism in the Corinthian church (1:10-13). Can anyone seriously wonder which of the many “denominations” he would approve today?

Paul sees the source of division as the proud claim to possess superior “wisdom” and not submitting to Christ as God’s Wisdom. The wonderful irony and paradox of God’s folly being wiser than human wisdom (1:18-3:23) is the definitive passage for philosophers or theologians with “original” minds who tend to resist Christocentrism and want to “advance” in different and schismatic directions.

If all Christians had kept this passage uppermost in their minds for the last two thousand years, I believe that the tragedies of 1054 and 1517 and the hundreds of tears in the seamless garment of the Church since then could never have happened. If the Church ever becomes visibly one again, this passage will be the foundation for unity. Yet she always remains substantially and invisibly one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic.

On the number one topic in modern morality, sex and love, Paul does three things. First, he condemns sexual immorality in chapters 5 and 6, as well as the Corinthians’ lax attitudes that accepted it. Instead of justifying incest, they should excommunicate the offender. Instead of justifying prostitution by the slogan “all things are lawful” (6:12), they should realize that in doing so a Christian, as a member of Christ’s Body, makes Christ fornicate with a prostitute (6:15)!

Second, Paul gives a positive alternative picture of Christian marriage in chapter 7. Here he clearly distinguishes God’s commands from his own opinion, which is to stay single. I think there is a wonderful divine humor in God revealing some deep and perennial principles of marriage through a celibate who confesses that he personally does not recommend it! I also see a wry divine humor in including in Scripture (7:6-12) a clear distinction between what is divine revelation and what is not. The distinction between divine revelation and human opinion is a matter of divine revelation, not human opinion!

Third, Paul writes the most famous passage about love ever written, chapter 13. This is the essential alternative to pagan lust for both married and unmarried. It is also a call to a clear and distinctive lifestyle and Christian witness. After all, Christ had prophesied that the world would be able to distinguish Christians from others by the special kind of love they had (Jn 13:35), not by having the same kind of love as the world had.

First Corinthians 13 is often read at weddings because it is the best definition of love ever written. This love (agape) is not a feeling or desire (eros) but a life; it is as Dostoyevsky put it, “love in action” rather than “love in dreams.”

The first paragraph (13:1-3) shows the infinite value of love by contrasting it with other things of great value: speaking in tongues, prophecy, knowledge, faith, and even the works of love without the soul of love.

The second paragraph distinguishes this love from all others by describing it in fifteen characteristics (vv. 4-7). Love is the skeleton key that unlocks all these doors. For instance, it is impossible to be patient with difficult people without love, but love brings patience with it.

Finally, the last paragraph shows the eternal destiny of love. Everything else, including all the things the Corinthians set their hearts and lives on, is doomed to die. Even faith and hope and earthly wisdom are not needed after death. But love is. When we love now, we plant seeds for eternity.

Chapter 13 is sandwiched between two chapters on spiritual gifts, especially the gift of tongues, and their use in worship. Paul shows moderation and wisdom in avoiding both the extremes of naive enthusiasm and suspicion, and in subordinating everything, even supernatural gifts, to love. He himself speaks in tongues and wants everyone to (14:5, 18), but the issue is much less important for Paul than most charismatics and their critics think.

Next to chapter 13, chapter 15 is the most famous and most important. It is the primary text in Scripture on the resurrection of the body. None of the Greek philosophers in Corinth believed in bodily resurrection, not because they did not believe in miracles, but because they did not believe the body was good and created by God. Their sexual materialism and their philosophical spiritualism went hand in hand. Paul revealed instead that the body is more real and good and important than they thought. It is a holy thing, the Spirit’s temple now (6:19) and the seed of something destined to live with God eternally, not a mere animal organism seeking sexual pleasure as its greatest good.

Plato had called the body “the soul’s tomb”. Paul tells the Corinthians, who were probably influenced by this philosophy, that to deny or ignore Christ’s bodily Resurrection is to abandon the whole faith. Without the Resurrection, “our preaching is in vain, and your faith is in vain” (15:14), “you are still in your sins” (15:17), and “if for this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all men most to be pitied” (15:19).

And this Resurrection is no mere symbol, no merely subjective and spiritual “resurrection of Easter faith”, or some such silly subterfuge. The Greek words for “the resurrection of the body” are anastasis nekron, which means “the sitting-up of the corpse”! Denial of the literal Resurrection, according to the Word of God, is denial of Christ, denial of the faith.

After demonstrating its existence (15:12-34), Paul gives some hints about its nature (15:35-58) through natural analogies. This body is the seed of another one. This body is as different from the resurrection body as a planet differs from a star. Paul’s contrast between a “physical body” and a “spiritual body” does not mean that the post-resurrection body will not be tangible. Christ’s was and is. It means that the source of this physical body is physis, nature, the dust we return to, while the source of our resurrection body is the Spirit of God, who will raise us as He raised Christ.

Paul concludes the great chapter with words that sound like trumpets (indeed, that is why Handel accompanied them with a trumpet in his “Messiah”). He concludes by sticking his tongue out at death, taunting it: “O death, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting?” Death is now a stingless bee for us because its stinger is in the body of Christ crucified. He took the stinger of Hell out of the bee of death for us.

The central theme in each of the specific topics Paul deals with (probably from questions in a letter the Corinthians had written to him) is the theme of Christian distinctiveness. This is seen most strikingly in chapter 6, where Paul is scandalized that Christians sue other Christians before pagan lawyers and judges. No one today even blinks at that practice, for we have so radically lost that sense of distinctiveness.

But why would a cat go before a dog to adjudicate a dispute with another cat? The difference between a Christian and a non-Christian is like the difference between a cat and a dog. It is not, for Paul, merely a difference between two beliefs, but a difference between two beings, two species.

I continually ask my theology and philosophy classes the simple question, “According to the New Testament, what is a Christian?” They always answer it not according to the New Testament but according to something else. For they always say what a Christian thinks, or believes, or feels, or does, or likes, or desires, but not what a Christian is. Paul knew what a Christian is: a Christian is a little Christ, a member of Christ, a cell in Christ’s body.

Because of this radical transformation of our very “I”, everything in our lives is transformed. As he was to put it in his second letter to these Corinthians (5:17), “If any one is in Christ, he is a new creation.” In our desperate, bored search for novelties and “new theologies”, we can never be more radically new than to simply rest on “the Church’s one foundation — Jesus Christ her Lord”.

[inkstainedfanfics]

End of the Year Fic Rec!

I started this blog in like March or April of this year, and since then, I’ve written plenty, but I’ve also read tons of work by others. So I decided to take a moment and just list some of my favorite fics/drabbles/one-shots I’ve read this year from the lovely people that take time to write stories for everyone.

I sorted them by fandom, and listed the author only once. So if there’s a few fics that follow an author, then they are written by that author until you see a different username! I hope you all check out and enjoy these stories as much as I do, and send comments to them if you do!

If you’re on this list, thank you so much for taking the time to write your stories. They’ve helped make my days better and have made me smile countless times. Thank you so much, I hope you have a lovely 2018 :)

And if anyone has any other recs, feel free to reblog and add them on. Authors deserve some love, and starting the new year off by giving them some appreciation can’t hurt!

                                       FANTASTIC BEASTS

White Lace - @fantasticnewtimagines: A Prince!Newt AU. Need I say more? Probably not but I will bc this series is wonderful. 2 parts are out, and I’m already shipping Newt x Reader. He’s so sweet but impatient with his role in the world and I just adore him and his interactions with Theseus so much.

Breakfast in Bed: Newt x Reader fluff. Pure fluff that is beautifully described with an adorable guest appearance by the disgusted Pickett.

Come Back: Newt x Reader. 3 recs in and I’m already recommending angst. Fitting. But honestly this fic will break your heart. Mentions of blood so don’t read if you’re squeamish about that I guess but otherwise, I promise you will not regret reading this fic. It’s heart wrenching and gorgeous.

Magical Office - @drdanwrites: The Office crosses Fbawtft. This series is hilarious and moving and a lovely combination of the popular show and the popular movie. I love the characterizations within this, and plenty of the jokes have legit made me laugh. It’s the right balance of goofy with dramatic and I’m hanging on every update.

Too Late - @scamanderson: Newt Angst. Shoot man I’m a sucker for the ‘tries to return to find out the other has moved on, awkward reunion’ trope (v. specific Ik lol) and this fic perfectly captures that idea. It’s sad, depicting the emotions of lost love and anger and regret as well as I think is possible.

                                       HARRY POTTER

Well, Hello There - @losers-witch: Remus Lupin x Reader. Sassy Reader gives me life tbh. “What’s a pretty young thing like you, doing in a bar like this?” “Ignoring you” I love it. + Protective, Confident Remus, something I miss in fics. + it mentions his scars in no way in a negative light, something I really like. + it’s a super cute story that has a chance meeting oooo. Go read it, seriously. You won’t regret it.

Mine: Draco x Reader. Tbh I normally don’t read Draco fics bc they don’t always characterize him like I expect, but this one is different (along with all the other ones she writes about him). He’s sweet in his own, Draco specific way. I like how it tracks the relationship growth in separate times and how we watch them grow together and apart as we read. and it has another confident Reader ahhhhh. I’ve reread it multiple times, also something I rarely do.

Welcome Back - @drdanwrites: Cedric Diggory x Reader. I honestly cannot read this around other people. I flail and can’t stop smiling it’s so dang cute. I love it more than anything. My boy Cedric is horribly underrepresented, and this is a wonderful cure to that. He’s so sweet about how much he loves his S/O and how he misses her when she’s gone and when he’s in the taxi on the way to pick her up??????? You should totally read this if you want your heart to grow like the Grinch’s.

The Climb: Cedric Diggory x Reader. I can’t even with this. It’s beautiful. He’s sweet and cute and you watch the relationship unfold and then there’s a kiss that I will never be over it’s so well written and honestly if you love Cedric and haven’t read this fic, you’re missing out.

You Are My Happiness: Seamus Finnegan Soulmate AU. Another boy that’s totally underrepresented. I haven’t read any other fics for him, so finding this was a miracle. The friendship between the two is adorable and seeing the two’s thoughts about each other is flipping adorable idk. You should 100% read this to make your day better.

                                       CRIMINAL MINDS

Gingerbread - @bookofreid: Spencer Reid x Reader. Soooooooo sweet. The final sentence gets me. Spencer’s so adorable and I love him and this drabble only fuels that love further and further. I still swoon and “awwwww” even after reading it at least six times. Short and sweet and worth your time 1000 times over.

Christmas Cheer: Spencer Reid x Reader. For some reason the line “Christmas with the Reids” gets me. This one involves Derek. Another short and sweet story that I love. The author has tons of shorter ones like this and Gingerbread, and I’m slowly but surely making my way through the list. The author has a wonderful grasp on the voice of the characters, and not once have I felt they said something ooc. Definitely check out and (I recommend) follow bookofreid bc the blog’s pretty great too.

The Ramblings of an Introvert: Spencer Reid x Reader. Okay, I’m a few parts into this 7 part series, but it’s gorgeous. It captures Reid’s voice really well, and I like the idea of him writing letters since that’s actually addressed in the show as something he would do. It’s an interesting way to relay his feelings, and I think the author executes it really well. The language use is exactly how I think Spencer would write, and the expression of his emotions is well done. Really lovely story that I’m certain I’ll be rereading in a while.

We All Fall Down - @criminal-minds-fanfiction: Spencer Reid angst. Another series that I’m only a few parts into. Honestly, I don’t read long series often, and I believe this one is over 20, but I read the 1st part and I had to continue on. The writing is descriptive enough that you get the scene but aren’t overloaded with details. It’s extremely engaging and sets up a story with a hook better than almost any other fic I’ve read. It also involves an intriguing relationship between Spencer and Reader, one that keeps you guessing and reading. Plus Will makes an appearance and I live for his accent and sweet attitude.

                                       MARVEL

Night Out - @wolflhards: Clint Barton x Reader. All right, this is my only Marvel entry bc I don’t really read for the characters EXCEPT Clint and I’ve found very, very few Clint stories *sobs*. I like this one though for how mischievous Clint is in the beginning. I think it really captures him. Then he’s sweet and goofy and ahhh so many emotions bc I love Clint so much. + a Corvette is involved, an undeniable plus. + THE END if you love Clint you’ll die. It’s such a wonderful last couple of paragraphs there to tie up a beautiful story.

                                       SUPERNATURAL

Dean Checking In - @supernaturalfreewill: Dean x Reader. Super short, a drabble, but still super cute. We get to see how Dean and Reader text, and then Dean smiles and I love that and Idk man I don’t have super in depth ideas for this, it just made me smile and swoon and I figure everyone should have the chance to read it and have that reaction.

Protective Dean: Dean x Reader. Another super short drabble but I have a thing for Protective!Boy fics, so this one is a favorite of mine. Dean’s so dang swoonworthy help.

Dean Sees You in a Towel: Dean x Reader. Dean’s so startled and he starts stammering and he’s showing his dorky, embarrassed side. Such a cute glimpse into a small situation.

Shut Up and Dance: Dean x Reader. They meet at a wedding Dean crashes, and the chemistry is amazing. I adore the dialogue in this, and could only ever wish to write Dean this well. Perfectly captures him and how he acts, and sets up a beautiful meeting that I just want to continue to read. Plus the ending is so gosh dang cute you’ll never get over it. Dean’s met his match :D

Impact - @kaz2y5-imagines: Dean x Reader. I will never be over this fic. I think about it all the time. It’s haunting, and Dean’s reaction to the crash has me swooning. He cares SO MUCH for the Reader, evident in his begging for Reader to return. And the end. Ugh. I love this fic so much. One of my favorite Dean fics I’ve read ever.

                                       DRAGON AGE

What You Did was Stupid - @jawsandbones: FenHawke. Okay, jaw is my go-to Fenhawke/ZevxWarden author bc all the works are beautiful. The author’s writing style is like the opposite of mine with short sentences and concise descriptions, but I’m jealous bc it’s so wonderfully done. A master of writing, I read everything that’s posted. This drabble in particular broke my heart. I requested it, and didn’t expect to literally tear up, but I did and now I’m here, recommending it to you all so you can have your heart shattered into millions of tiny pieces. It’s worth it, though, for the beauty of the tale and the tenderness of the emotions.

I Care About You: FenHawke. I don’t normally like fics that include mage!Hawke bc I always play as a rogue, which is fine, obv, authors can write what they want, I just usually scroll past it. But I didn’t scroll past this one, and thankfully so. It depicts a moment, one that is held out, one of terror meeting calm, need meeting warmth, worry finding a hand to help. I just love it. It’s short like the one above, but still rich with emotions and tentative, uncertain feelings that plague the beginning stages of a relationship. Idk I just love it. Highly recommend checking out her other works.

All in a Name - @kierarutherford: Cullen Rutherford x Inquisitor Baseball!AU on AO3. I don’t like baseball, but I’m partway into this series and I love it. I really enjoy how various characters have been included and written while Cullen’s still the focal point. Diana is independent and tough, but not obnoxiously so. I haven’t finished it yet, but the pieces I’ve read are interesting, the details really well described. I can always hear/see the scene vividly. The author’s super talented and wrote tons of stories this year, and I think y’all should check her works out bc they’re awesome.

[flames-of-remnant]

Rebirth AU

Read this post before reading this one.

Part (2/3)

Pyrrha would wake up a few days later, confused at where she was. Even more concerning, she wasn’t sure who she was at first. Her memory was blank. All that she knew was that she had to go somewhere, but where? She was in a cabin somewhere in the forest. An old woman greeted her when she awoke. All she could say was that she was told to come get her and nurse her back to health. Pyrrha was given a set of clothes to wear and after another couple days of recuperating she went on her way. She knew where she needed to go, but she still wasn’t sure why.

After days of traveling Pyrrha was having flashes of memories. She remembered Ruby, Weiss, Yang, Blake, Nora, Ren, Penny, but there was one who was still clouded in her memories. She knew she cared a lot about him, but she couldn’t remember much beyond that other than she associated the color yellow with him. She put those thoughts aside since she finally reached her destination. A strange cave that was several miles away from Beacon. At the entrance to the cave was a door. She entered and within was a sort of hideout that felt oddly familiar. There were piles of notes everywhere and there were even a few photos of strange people along the wall. The latest one on the wall was a man she felt she knew. Under the photo was a nameplate in which was written “Phoenix Rojos.” It was then that her memory came flooding back. The shock was overwhelming to her. A rush of mixed feelings washed over her and she was hyperventilating for a minute as she was trying to process what all happened.

It took her a while to calm down, but once she did, she looked over the piles of notes and there was one that was sealed in an envelope. She had a feeling it had something to do with her. She opened it and looked it over. It was a note from Phoenix himself. The note explained what his semblance was and how it worked. It was a life transference semblance that has been passed down for generations to those who were worthy of it. The “Phoenix Semblance” as he called it. He explained that for it to work the previous owner of it had to give their aura and their life to revive another who had died within a day of their death to give them a second chance. In doing so all the experience from those who previously had it are given to the new owner. This explained why Phoenix was as skilled as he was. The last paragraph of the note read as such:

“I know this seems like a lot to process, but if you are reading this, then that would mean that I felt you were worth saving. At the least I finally did something right for once in my life. I hope you don’t waste this gift and use it to keep on living and accomplishing your dreams. I don’t know how long it will take for you to come read this or how long it would take for me to choose a successor, but I believe it would be worth it. You keep on moving forward. Keep fighting whatever evils you wish. Save those who you love. Do what you love. Live the way you want to. Just know that I’ll be with you every step of the way. Even if we can’t talk beyond this letter. I’m a part of you now. Take care, and be sure to keep this knowledge a secret if you can. You never know what people would do with this kind of semblance. If you find someone worth saving, then you best write a letter like this one to let them know what’s going on.”

[dailyaudiobible]

05/26/2018 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 9:1-11:27, John 15:1-27, Psalms 119:49-64, Proverbs 16:1-3

Today is the 26th day of May. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it's great to be here with you as we begin to close the books on another week. And we have spent this week moving through David's life and we'll continue to do that in 2 Samuel. And we are reading of Jesus final days for the final time in the book of John. So, we're reading from the New Living Translation this week, which is today. 2 Samuel 9, 10 and 11 today.

Commentary:

Okay, so in 2 Samuel we're working through David's life and we come to this pretty horrible story of David's sordid affair with Bathsheba. And as sordid of a story as it is, it's maybe even worse than we might see on the surface. And we can't go all the way through the story because we're not finished with the story, but David has sent the army to war and he stays back in Jerusalem and he wakes up from a nap and there's Bathsheba. He can see her as he looks down from the palace. She's beautiful, she's naked. He wants her. He has her. He's the king. But she becomes pregnant so then there's all of the cover up, right? Because she's married to Uriah the Hittite.  And this is actually where the story takes a turn for the worst. Because Uriah the Hittite was one of David's top thirty warriors. In all of the military, he was one of the top thirty. A man loyal and sworn to loyalty to the king. So all of the sudden, this affair that David has with Bathsheba isn't just a betrayal of some (commoner) around Jerusalem. It's one of David's most loyal warriors he betrays by taking his wife. But that's not the end of the story. He's gonna take Uriah’s life over this and Uriah did nothing. David sends for Uriah so he can come home so that he can send him home to Bathsheba so that they can sleep together so that she can show up pregnant and the whole thing be covered up, which is sordid enough. But Uriah won't go home, right? He's one of thirty most loyal warriors. He won't even go home, not while his brothers are sleeping in tents out in the open in battle. So, David writes a letter to Joab, rolls it up, gives it to Uriah. Uriah doesn't know that it is his death sentence. He takes it back to Joab, the instructions are read, Uriah is killed in battle. We get it. This is a horrible, horrible, horrible thing David has done. But just to pour salt into the wound here, this is exactly what Saul was trying to do to David over and over and over, right? Send him into battle where he can be killed. Try to arrange for his, sort of, murder by war. David was always stealthy enough to escape. Uriah was killed. So we've been following the story of David and his humility and his approach to leadership, but when we get to this story, and it's like David has perpetrated an evil that is as evil as anything in the Bible. And we'll have to hang on until tomorrow for the conclusion of the story because we're not done.

Then in the book of John, we've been talking about it for days. That we're covering territory, the last final days of Jesus life for the last time this year so that we can give it gravity and honor it. So Jesus has been telling his friends that the Holy Spirit will be sent, the advocate who will lead us into all truth and that we should love each other. That's gonna be the distinctive in this new thing that God is doing in the world, it will be love. And this is the last conversation that he's going to have. This is it. This is the last teaching with his friends before he loses his freedom and everything moves toward the cross. And so that's part of that conversation in our reading from today. Jesus is instructing us to remain in his love. This whole thing is built upon love. So I wanna re-read a paragraph from today's reading so that we can personalize it and actually take it within ourselves and make it a part of our lives and make it a part of this day. And all of these words, these are Jesus words. So this is what he spoke I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father's commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow. This is my commandment, love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn't choose me, I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for using my name. This is my command. Love each other. So, it's almost as if... What else is there to say? What else can I say to expand upon that because it's very clear. Jesus is saying that if our lives are going to make any sense then we have to remain in his love and the only way to remain in his love is that we obey him. So, in other words, when we are in rebellion, then we are not remaining in his love. But the reason that Jesus was sharing this wasn't that he could lay down the final law and lord it over us. It was, as he said, so that we could be filled with his joy. That we could experience joy that will overflow. So, if we obey his commands, then we are remaining in his love. And the byproduct of remaining in his love is that we can experience overflowing joy. We follow that pathway by loving one another as he loved us. And there is basically the context for our lives. I have spent years wanting to understand what this intimacy with God is like. I've written books about this. To be a friend of God. To not be just an adherent to a religion. To actually experience the intimacy and friendship that is spoken about in the Scriptures. And Jesus talks about that in this paragraph that we just read. These final things that he's saying. I no longer call you slaves. A master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends since I've told you everything the Father told me. You didn't choose me, I chose you. Man, those words change the dynamic and change the atmosphere, right? Because we feel like we've chosen to accept Jesus, now we're hanging on for dear life and he's seeing all the effort we're putting in to try to obey his commands and is he gonna shower those blessings down us? Man, the dynamic changes when you realize you didn't choose anything. You were chosen, right? All those things we think that we deserve to have because we've chosen to live a sacrificial life in love with God, that sort of melts away when you realize you didn't do the choosing. You were selected. You were chosen. You were invited by God to participate in the renewal of all things. So, we weren't chosen like we won the lottery, we weren't chosen so that blessings could shower down upon us. What Jesus is saying here is, I chose you to become a part of this story. Remain in my love and you do that by obeying my commandments, you do that by loving one another like I've shown you what love looks like. You love like I loved and you'll experience overflowing joy. But that's not gonna make it easy. If the world hates you, Jesus said, remember it hated me. The world will love you if you belong to it, but I chose you. You're no longer part of that system. It's a whole new thing going on in the world and I chose you to be a part of it. And those who are in the dark aren't going to get it. And they're not gonna like you just like they didn't like me. But you're continuing the story. You're replacing darkness with light when you remain in my love, when you obey me, when you love one another. This is striking. It's beautiful to have that context for what this day is supposed to look like. It's also humbling that Jesus was saying all of these things as this last reminder, like shake it up one more time to remind them, I'm about to be gone from you for a minute because I'm about to make all of this possible.

Prayer:

Jesus, we enter into that deeply. We drink deeply from that. We want desperately to remain in Your love. And what You're telling us is that the way that we do that is to obey You. The way that we do that is to obey Your commandment to love one another. And we love each other when we look at the world through Your eyes and love in the face of hate and indifference we love. And so we declare that we love You. We love You, we worship You. We invite Your Holy Spirit, this advocate that You were talking about, to continually remind us of the things that You've said. And this is what You said the Holy Spirit would do and so we invite You, Holy Spirit, to continually remind us. Show us what it looks like to love as You love. Show us what it looks like to remain in You. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In Jesus name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it's home base, it’s where you find out what is happening and what's going on around here. So be sure to check it out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, dailyaudiobible.com is a good place to go for that. There's a link on the homepage. Thank you. Thank you supremely and humbly for your partnership. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the give button in the upper right-hand corner, or if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee, 37174.

And, as always if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family. My name is Lillian. I’m calling from Tanzania. That’s in East Africa. This is my first time calling. I’ve been listening to DAB on and off for about 4 years now but beginning this year I made a vow to loosen daily and so far, I’ve been able to keep up. And I thank you very much for this community, Brian and Jill for creating it. And I thank each and every one who is a member of this community and your amazing unity and love. I’m calling in today to request for your prayers. I am going through a very difficult and dark moment of my life. Friends, I need your prayers guys to just lift me up to God, me and my family. We are going through a financial crisis and I’ve spent everything I’ve worked my entire life for. Please pray for me. Pray for strength. Pray for wisdom in all the decisions I’m required to make. And pray for the Holy Spirit to really guide my footsteps in this moment of my life. I thank you all and ask you to pray for me as I pray for you, each and every one, the ones who are calling in and the ones who are not calling in. Thank you. And God bless you all. I love you. Bye-bye.

Good afternoon Daily Audio Bible. This is prophetic intercessor from North Carolina and it is Tuesday, the evening of Tuesday, May 22nd. And, you know, it just was impressed on my spirit to call in and encourage someone. I was listening to the song that He is our strength like no other. And I remember calling in around this time last year as I was going through the process of a divorce and I was so broken and so disheartened and so disillusioned and I called in and so many of you called in and prayed for me. And I just want to thank you, for each and every one who lifted me up during that time and encouraged my heart. And, you know, I’m a testament that there is beauty for ashes. And, so, I wanted to return the favor and encourage someone this afternoon, that just hold on a little while longer. Hold through the pain, hold on through the frustration, hold on through the hopelessness because God is coming to turn it and He’s coming to give you beauty for your ashes. So, remember that [singing] He is your strength, He’s like no other, He’s like no other, and He will reach you. [singing ends] there is no pain to deep that exceeds the reach of God. He is reaching for you today. So, hold on. [singing] He is your strength, He’s like no other, He’s like no other, and He’s reaching for you. [singing ends] love you guys so much. Be blessed.

Hey DAB family. James here from the UK. Just calling to pray for Cherry Chase Cherry pie. You left a message, you left a prayer request with regards to your work situation and racial hatred and tension in the workplace. And, you know, we’ve been talking about the royal wedding this week at work, at my work, and just what a tremendous occasion it was. I’m guessing a lot of you have seen it. But it really struck me when I heard you call but, you know, that we can create situations that make things look like there changing. And it’s great that we believe that change is coming soon and change continues to happen in terms of the way that we look at integration. But I really felt your prayer request when you talked about what was happening in your workplace and the fact that it felt like it was a throwback to the 1960s. And I just wanted to say, the white man listening to request, I just felt this burden and desire to pray for Cherry Chase. So, I’m hoping that there’s many others that aren’t able to call in but will be feeling the same way. So, I just want to lift you up. Lord Jesus, I just pray for Cherry Chase in her place of work Father God. She is facing principalities and powers that may be hard for her describe or understand or for any of us to really get to grips with. There’s a terrible evil in this world that makes our skin color, our origin, our ethnicity something that we actually use as a way of differentiating against each other, of creating prejudice, which is just totally perverse. And Lord Jesus, You stand against that. Jesus, You stand against…

Hello, good morning Daily Audio Bible family. This is Jay calling from Tennessee! Yes. So, I have made it and I have been listening every day, and praying every day. But I heard Sean 316 say something that struck me because I’ve been…I’ve been…led by the Spirit to call so many times and I just never did it. So, Sean 316, thank you for telling us to call and if God has answered our prayers because it motivates others and it helps others. So, my prayer, before I left for Tennessee and before I even applied for a job was that God would send me to a place where I can openly be a Christian, I can openly share the gospel with people, I can openly, you know, work with people who don’t mind me talking about Jesus. And would you believe that once I started applying for jobs I got accepted, offered and accepted a job in Tennessee without even having to interview? I’m here now on my, what is this, my third day of work and all my bosses are Christian, all my coworkers are Christian. I ran into a couple situations where I needed help and the companies that I dealt with were Christian companies and they didn’t even charge me any money. It’s just, it’s amazing. And even going downtown, where the people are a lot younger and in that frame of mind where they really don’t want to believe in Jesus, they are very respectful of what you believe and they don’t, they don’t hate you for it, as I dealt with back in New Jersey. Anyway, I love you and I just want to let you know that when you pray, God does listen. He may not answer the way that you want him to because I wasn’t planning on moving to Tennessee but he will answer your prayers. Love you guys.

[winterbvrnes]

Flowers [B.Barnes]

request (x) by @tieddown-withbattleshipchains

summary: You begin to find sweet gifts and cute letters left around your apartment, but you don’t know who they’re from… until you catch him red-handed.

wc: 1668

note: idk how i feel abt this & its prob riddled with errors [ps. i’m looking for a betareader ;)] also check that↓ out

Aly’s 600 Follower Writing Challenge

tw: mentions of Hydra and other enemies, second-hand embarrassment(?), sneaking around (intrusion?), and some cute blushing Buck

They started showing up on June 5th. You don’t know why, or how (seriously, you were pretty sure you’d locked your door when you left that morning) but when you got over the creepy aspect, you began to look forward to the little gifts that would show up.

The first ‘gift’ that showed up scared you a bit. When you walked into your quarters after a tiring day of dealing with press and saw the little chocolate and note card you were positive it was one of three things.

1) Tony being an ass and playing some kind of prank,

2) Hydra (or some other enemy) had broken in and was taunting you, or

3) Nat was feeling sweet today and left you a gift.

Tony had been on a week long mission since Monday (it was only Wednesday), so he wouldn’t have bothered to set this up. The compound is pretty much the most secure building on this planet (other than Damage Control’s warehouse) so that rules out anyone getting in undetected, or bothering to only to leave a candy. There is no way Nat was feeling sweet enough today, not after the asskicking you gave her in training this morning. So, you’re stuck.

With no clue why the candy is there, you kick your door shut and venture over to read the note.

Good job with the press today, I’m sure you did amazing. You always are, and so sweet too; sweeter than this cherry chocolate. Enjoy the rest of your evening by relaxing and destressing, and don’t let those reporters get the best of ya.

The sweet little message is written in beautiful penmanship, and signed with an adorable little smiley-face drawn by a heart. Your lips quirk up as warmth spreads through you at the kind and charming words. But, while they’re sweet, you can’t help but be a little put-off by the thought of someone coming into your room while you were away and leaving this intimate note and a candy (to which you were compared, which shows attention) without saying who they are. Your brows furrow as you place the note back down on the end-table, leaving the chocolate next to it to be safe, before going about your night.

It was two weeks before you received another gift. This time it was a small bouquet of your favorite flowers, bundled up neatly and left on your nightstand next to another note card signed with the same smiley-face. Your brows furrow and you look around, already knowing that you won’t see anyone, but trying anyway. Coming up empty, as expected, you lift the flowers to your face and sniff, inhaling the delicate aroma. Once again feeling a little odd about finding such a romantic gift in your room, you place them on the kitchenette counter and wander into your bathroom to put away your mission gear and shower.

After cleaning up, you finally break and place the bouquet in a vase and fill it with water to display on your windowsill. You smile slightly when you step back to take in the sight. The colors of the petals nearly glow in the sunlight, and you can’t resist snapping a picture for instagram. You caption it and post, watching the hundreds of like immediately flood in (the Avengers are very popular on instagram).

After that, the gifts continue to pour in; from flowers to little stuffed animals to personal care packages, each one incredibly thoughtful and topped with a note card. Whether signed with only a smiley-face, or joined by a cute paragraph, you began to look forward to hearing from this person. Their kindness and charming way began to win you over, despite your initial feelings of being intruded upon.

When you told the girls, Nat had simply rolled her eyes and laughed while Wanda gushed. “You have a secret admirer! That is so cute! I wonder who it is!?” Pepper, having walked into the conversation, had snickered and shared a look with Nat. You’d brushed it off, thinking they were on a different topic, and listened as Wanda named names and considered the possibility of it being them.

That’s where you are now, sitting on the couch listening to Wanda (for the third time that week) update you on her list’s status. After you received your fifth gift (a gorgeous smelling bathbomb and set of little candle) Wanda had started writing down the traits of each team mate that could be a tell for who-dun-it. You sigh, gaze drifting from Wanda’s list over to where Steve and Bucky sit, talking. You tune Wanda out and get lost in a daydream of the handsome soldier, watching as his blue eyes crinkle when he laughs, the brown strands of his hair falling from the bun at the nape of his neck. You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, imagining loosening his hair from the tie and running your fingers through it, feeling the silky waves between your fingers before fisting your hand and tugg–

“Hey! Earth to [Y/N]!” Wanda snaps her fingers in your face, drawing you out of your head. You flush upon realizing that Bucky is looking at you amusedly and you snap upright, turning to glare at Wanda.

“What?” You hiss, embarrassed as you rub your cheeks in an attempt to make them less hot. Wanda snickers and flicks her hair off her shoulder.

“You were staring,” she says simply and you open your mouth to vehemently deny her implications when Steve cuts you off.

“Wanda,” he interrupts, sending you a knowing glance (the one that reeks of Captain America) and placing his massive hand on her shoulder, “Vision told me he was looking for you, something about a movie tonight?” Steve nudges Wanda, not very subtly, and she beams, nodding. “I’ll take you to him.” As Steve passes, he gives Bucky a firm pat on the shoulder and you grimace at being left alone with the assassin. Not because you don’t enjoy spending time with Bucky, but because you enjoy it too much.

You give Bucky an awkward smile, which he reciprocates, before hiking a thumb toward the elevator and saying, “I should probably go train.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, go ahead,” you stutter out, flushing as Bucky sends you a smile and leaves, ever so calm and collected: the complete opposite of you. As the doors close and Bucky sends you a wave with his metal arm, you realize you’d been staring again, and blush heavier, turning to bury your face in your hands when he disappears. “Oh, fuck me.”

After your awkward encounter with Bucky, you’d decided it was time for a night out with Nat. Since she and Clint had moved out of the compound together, you’d been slacking on your weekly Nat-Nights. Lucky for you, Clint had just left on a brief mission with Wanda, leaving you free to get drunk and watch terrible Rom-Coms with Natasha.

“I’m heading out, Steve!” You holler from your doorway, leaving without waiting for Steve’s reply. He’s busy watching the newest Game of Thrones episodes with Bucky and Sam, so it’s likely he didn’t really process your shout. You sling your duffel bag over your shoulder and head to the garage.

Bucky glances over his shoulder towards the elevator, watching the number get smaller as you leave, waiting for the best time to do his thing. When the display reads B1 Bucky throws himself over the back of the couch and he rushes to his room. Steve and Sam watch him speed off and share a knowing look, Sam scoffing and rolling his eyes as they return their attention to the GOT marathon.

With the proper supplies in hand, Bucky sneaks his way to your door and tests the knob. Finding it unlocked (as you’d taken to leaving it since the gifts started coming) he steps inside, closing the door behind himself carefully. He’s standing at the kitchenette counter, arranging the presents when the door creaks open. Bucky freezes, wide eyes darting up to see you standing there, mouth agape.

“U-uh, wha-ho-why-what?” You stutter out, duffel bag landing on the floor with a thud. Bucky puts his hands up defensively.

“I can explain,” he says, shuffling in place awkwardly.

You let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re my secret admirer?” Never did you believe that James Buchanan Barnes could possibly be the one leaving you trinkets. The man you’ve had a crush on for months.

Bucky sighs. “I- Well, yeah.” He blushes a vibrant, the heat creeping up his neck. “I mean, I guess so? But, I mean, only if you like them, ‘cause if not then you’ve got the wrong guy. But- um, uh, yeah, I’ve been leaving you stuff… “ His face paints itself a deeper scarlet. “I’ve had a crush on you for a while and Steve said I should tell you, but Sam joked that I should leave you chocolate on your pillow like a hotel, and I thought it was stupid but then I got the idea to leave you presents, so Steve helped me ‘cause I’m not as good as I was back in the day, and I really like you–”

You cut him off by firmly pressing your lips against his, silencing any further rambling. His mouth is soft on yours and you smile, feeling heat on your cheeks. You pull back when you don’t feel Bucky respond. A frown settles itself on your face when you meet Bucky staring at you wide-eyed.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought…” You sigh in embarrassment and turn to leave, but Bucky’s hand grips your arm gently and pulls you back to him, allowing his hands to drift down your sides and settle on your hips.

His cocky grin is back, full blown when he says, “So, you like-like me?” You snort and flick his chest with an eyeroll at his words.

“Obviously, you doofus,” you whisper as his lips once again press against yours, feather soft.

Tag List for Bucky is Open

(strikethrough couldn’t be tagged, message me if the url is off or if want to be added/removed)

@fly-f0rever @dont-speak-just-read @sammywinchetre @theulimatefangirll

[douxbebearchives]

Author Profile: IWrite4Olitz

Stories on FFN; tumblr: @iwrite4olitz​

Your name/nickname/alias: 

Lynn, iwrite4olitz

How long have you been writing? 

Is “forever” too vague? Since I could properly grip a pencil...

How long have you been writing Olitz?

Since July 10th, 2015.

What drew you to Olivia & Fitz? 

Their combustible chemistry. Is there any other reason?

Outside of Olitz, where do you get inspiration to write? 

Everywhere. Anywhere. But my favorite inspiration comes from music. If I get stuck, I read a book. ;)

How do you describe your style of writing? 

::hyperventilates:: I...don’t have one compact sentence to describe it. I suppose it’s because I choose words and sentence structure to suit whatever tone I’m trying to convey, while also considering the “voice” of the character whose point of view I’m writing. So, for example, if I’m writing something romantic, I use more flowing sentences, but choose words that I think the character whose head we’re in would actually use. If I’m trying to convey something tense or urgent, I’ll use more concise, clipped language and structure. If I need to drive an emotion home, or incite a reaction of some kind, I choose visceral language. Ugh, this sounds so clinical! But I promise it’s not. It just happens naturally. I’ve been called “poetic” and “evocative” by readers. I’ve also taken this super fun quiz:

https://iwl.me/

...the results of which told me I write like Stephen King, which contradicts the poetic thing. Haha. Love Stephen though. Do you guys follow him on twitter? Follow him. He’s one of my best friends in my head. And he’s woke.

Do you write (journal, pen/paper) or type first? Depends. If I have it clear in my mind how a scene should go, I type until my brain is empty. Then I edit until it’s as close to my mental picture as possible. If it’s not clear in my mind, my brain automatically goes on high alert, snatching inspiration from anywhere, at any time. That’s when I scribble things in notebooks or type notes into a document to piece together later. Dialogue, action, events, settings...

Do you have a special notebook or writing utensil? 

I have several notebooks, Evernote, and Baby (my touch screen computer). But I plan on replacing her with a Mac soon, because she’s prone to viruses and my tech medical bills have been piling up!

Do you incorporate visuals, music, and/or poetry to help you get into the writing mood? 

Yes! Music is the most powerful inspiration for me. I can get several scenes, or a chapter, or an idea for an entire story from one song. I love creating inspiration boards to visualize big scenes more vividly (and sharing them is fun). I don’t read much poetry, sadly. I have a book of famous love letters and poetry collecting dust on my bookshelf if anyone’s interested. It’s red, vintage-looking, really pretty...

Do you use mood boards/aesthetics/Pinterest? 

Yes! Here’s the one for Pas De Deux: https://www.pinterest.com/AuthorLynnTurner/pas-de-deux/

Favorite kind of music or podcasts to listen to before/while you write? 

I don’t listen to podcasts as part of my process. I find them too distracting. My taste in music is all over the place. I have the same affinity for jazz or soul that I have for pop or indie. That’s not very helpful, I suppose, but it just boils down to whatever moves or inspires me. Would you believe that Pia Mia’s “Do It Again” inspired the one-shot that became No Regrets? She was a 19 year old youtube sensation at the time, and it was her summer smash hit (possibly her only hit) about a one night stand. Hey, I’m not proud. “Locked Away” featuring Maroon 5 inspired the gala scene at the end of that story. “Garden” by Emeli Sande played as I wrote the garden love scene in Pas De Deux, and “Dreamland” by Emilia Ali was playing when I wrote the scene that opens PDD Chapter 10. :-)

Where do you like to write (Home, coffee shop, etc.)? 

I prefer to write in isolation. I love cafes, but I tend to spend my time there doing research, or outlining, or creating inspiration boards. At home, I tend to write very early in the morning or late at night when everyone’s asleep...or during “me time” when certain tiny humans aren’t around to tug at my proverbial coat tails. If I have my headphones, I can pretty much write anywhere.

How long does it take you to write a chapter? 

Oh gosh...Okay, in a vacuum, with a chapter fully formed in my mind, tons of coffee and wine coolers, I can crank one out in a single day. Outside of that vacuum, it could take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. There are so many variables: mood, inspiration, time. I’m trying to be better at forming good writing habits. John Grisham says if you aren’t writing at least a page per day, you’re not writing a book. Stephen King writes 600 words a day. Stephen King is not human.

A favorite line or paragraph you’ve written. 

This changes all the time, and I have different ones for each work, haha. By the time anyone reads this, it likely will have changed again. (There are some things I’ve written for the next Pas De Deux update that might upstage this, I dunno)...but I think this paragraph from Olivia’s point of view in Chapter 9 is my current favorite, It shows their dynamic so well, I think, and is quintessentially the Olitz I recognize no matter the writer, or whether the story is AU or canon:

She shivered, unnerved to be in his head, to see for herself the irrefutable evidence that he knew her. He knew her and she hadn’t told him a single thing.

Describe yourself in 5 words/phrases: 

You could give me 24 hours and the fate of the universe on my shoulders and I still couldn’t do this, hahaha. In a perfect world, my self is constantly evolving, so how about, in keeping with the theme of fifths, I choose something in iambic pentameter?

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” -Dr. Suess

Favorite TV shows/movies: 

This question is a rabbit hole. You’d need a “read more” button, and once clicked, readers would be subjected to pages and pages...so I’ll just list the ones I’d grab in case of a fire, or the apocalypse.

TV: Gilmore Girls, House, Girlfriends, A Different World, Living Single, the travelogue adventures of Samantha Brown and Anthony Bourdain, Sense8, Queen Sugar, Greenleaf, Underground, House Hunters, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black

Movies I can watch repeatedly and not get bored: Pride and Prejudice, The Devil Wears Prada, Focus, Pretty Woman, Love Jones, Ever After, The Wedding Date, Trainwreck

Movies with romantic elements: The Proposal, Trainwreck, Maid in Manhattan, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, Something New, Serendipity, While You Were Sleeping, Maid in Manhattan, The Proposal, Miss Congeniality, The Cutting Edge, A Walk in the Clouds, Return to Me, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Under the Tuscan Sun, Love Story, Beyond the Lights, Circle of Friends, Belle, Closer, Stompin at the Savoy, Memoirs of a Geisha, Dangerous Beauty, Cinderella (the one where Whitney Houston plays the fairy godmother), Coming to America, Juno, You Me & Dupri, Parent Trap, Overboard, Braveheart, The Preacher’s Wife, Palm Trees in the Snow

Favorite vacation spot: 

Hawaii

Favorite books: 

You’d think that, since my movie list is a rabbit hole, my book list would be a labyrinth, but even with all of the books I’ve read, I’m selective about what makes my favorites list:

Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen, The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, Grin and Beard It by Penny Reid, Literally every book by Penny Reid, Hadassah: One Night With the King by Tommy Teney, The Twentieth Wife & The Feast of Roses by Indu Sundaresan, The Nonesuch by Georgette Heyer, Wildseed & Lilith’s Brood by Octavia Butler, The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer (YES, okay? It’s not literary genius but it’s very entertaining, if you skip book two), Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind, Master of the Game by Sidney, Sheldon, Psy-Changeling series by Nalini Singh

*With the advent of fanfiction, I’m much pickier about published books, which I’m sure you all understand. ;)

Favorite authors:  

I have a to-read list half a mile long, so I’m sure this will change, but these are authors whom I find consistently write entertaining stories, even if they don’t make my favorites list:

Penny Reid, Alyssa Cole, Alisha Rai, Nalini Singh, Philippa Gregory, Farrah Rochon, Stephen King, John Grisham, Octavia Butler

What do you like better? AU or Canon?

I enjoy both, so long as they’re written well. Writing-wise, I’m more comfortable writing AU. With canon, I’m constantly aware that these aren’t my characters, so I’m sort of hyper aware of the constraints. And I have control issues. Lol.

Favorite trope/scenario to read? 

Enemies to lovers, love at first sight

Favorite Olitz TV moment/conversation? 

Seriously??? Only one? How about top three? Top five? Okay, fine, since you’re twisting my arm, I’ll give you my top ten in no particular order. (You drive a hard bargain):

1. VERMONT

2. “You almost died.” “Yes.” “Don’t do it again.” (she went in there to get him to comply, but then she actually LISTENS to him, like, really listens...and he changes her mind. They show a united front in this scene that was gorgeous to watch)

3. “I hate you.” “I know.” ...which morphed into…”You are everything and I am nothing.” ::ugly, mucous-dripping crying::

4. “Sit with me and watch me earn you.” (and obviously the AMAZING sex that came after)

5. Can the entire episode of The Trail be one?

a.  “I got a guy.” “You got a guy? Another guy? Hell’s angel? Mobster? A kind hearted felon who owes you a favor?” “Technically, he’s on probation.”

b. Camp David. Allll the Camp David. They were so in love, cute and care-free.

c. Love scene from The Trail (It’s their best, IMO. Organic. Combustible. Raw.)

d.  One minute on the couch

6. Pre-State Dinner shenanigans, Post-State Dinner Navy t shirt

7. Literally every Olitz phone call

8. 503 Oval Office Kiss ::swoon::

9. Truman Balcony kiss, because he was so vulnerable

10. Fitz saying “I still want you” in the AU episode, because it was so real, and I *believe they’re destined to be together in every universe.

*Honorable mentions: Rose Garden, Deskgate, Constitution (These were gripping, but I have personal, nitpicking reasons why they’re not in my top ten), allll the Season 6 bedtime snuggles, and every hug.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Ava DuVernay is my other BFF in my head.

Someday, when I’m confident enough in my knowledge of the era I choose (which will take years and years of research and development), I will write a historical fiction with a WOC heroine...possibly with elements of science fiction.

[feeling-freckled]

Breathtaking In Black (Part 3)

I know its a bit short, but i’m just happy I’ve finally finished part 3.  Because their birthday was just last month, this chapter is dedicated to my dear friend Prin!  @theshinyhuman I’m sorry it’s so late, but I hope you like it :)  Happy belated birthday!! 

____________________________________________________________

Part 1

Part 2

After several hours of attempting to pay attention in class, Marinette had finally given in to the fact that she would not be learning anything new at school today.  The only thing she could seem to focus on was the weight of the small green envelope sitting in her back pocket.  The hands on the classroom clock appeared to be ticking in reverse as she desperately waited for the afternoon lunch bell to ring.

Finally, it rang throughout the school and Marinette was up and out of the room without so much as her usual “See you later,” to Alya.  She left the classroom in such a rush that she failed to notice Adrien smile to himself as he watched her sprint out.  She ran home as fast as her toned legs could carry her, and quickly climbed the stairs up to her room after swiftly waving to her parents down in the bakery.  She would apologize for being in such a rush later, but for now all of her attention was on the note.

She locked her trap door beneath her and leaned against her bedroom wall to catch her breath as she retrieved the note from her back pocket.  “What do you think he wrote?” Tikki questioned curiously as she flew out from inside Marinette’s small bag.

“I honestly have no clue Tikki,” she admitted as she began peeling the envelope open.  Her hands shook slightly as she unfolded the piece of paper that rested inside.  Marinette took a deep breath and began reading the note quietly out loud to Tikki.

“Dearest Marinette,                                                                                           

As you have most likely figured out by now, I have been attending school with you since I began class two years ago.  I know that you most likely have several questions wandering around in that pretty little head of yours and I promise to answer them all in time.  For now all I can tell you is that we have talked on several occasions while both in civilian form.  I’ve always considered you a friend, but last night I saw your true colors my princess and might I add that your true colors are beautiful!  I look forward to seeing you later today and can not wait for our dance this Friday.  Until then I will continue to leave you small clues and notes that will hopefully answer a couple more of your questions.  

Truly yours, Chat Noir”

Marinette’s breath was unsteady and her eyes continued to skim over the words frantically as if attempting to decrypt an ancient puzzle.  He had given her three big hints to his identity in just one tiny paragraph.  First, she now knew that she and Chat noir had spoken with one another multiple times while both out of costume.  Second, he had considered her to be a friend even before he had begun visiting her as Chat Noir.  And finally, she had either already run into him today or he was planning on running into her later after lunch.  And yet, even with all of this new information buzzing around in her mind, Marinette still couldn’t seem to stop the questions that kept interrupting her thoughts.     

How often had they spoken to one another?  Had she ever interacted with his civilian self outside of school?  Did they already see each other or even speak to one another today?  The questions continued to pile up as she slowly folded the letter back up and slid it back into the small envelope.  She hid the note inside of her sketch book and placed the book back down on her desk.  She then unlocked the hand made box that she kept her diary hidden in and began to scribble down a few sentences as Tikki hovered curiously.  

“What are you writing?” the small creature questioned as she floated over the book.  Marinette appeared to be making a list of some sort.

“I’m writing down all of the clues he’s given me so far.  I can’t tell if he wants me to figure it out or if he’s just having fun messing with me.”  Marinette had written “Clues” at the top of the pag and three bullet points with hints given to her in the note.  For once Marinette was finally focused until Tikki broke her concentration by asking the one question that Mari had been avoiding the most.

“Marinette, why do you suddenly care so much about who’s behind that mask anyway?”   

Why did she care so much?  She never wanted to know before.  Marinette knew that their secret identities were to be kept secret for a reason.  She knew that it was best for their own safety as well as for their dynamic as partners.  However, part of her knew there was another reason she refused to reveal herself to Chat.  As much as she adored and trusted her partner, she wasn’t very confident that he’d be happy to learn who the girl behind the mask really was.  He had always gone out of his way to show how much he admired and respected her as a partner.  What if he didn’t feel the same way about her civilian form?  These thoughts had quieted down when he started visiting her more, but a small part of her still worried that he’d have less faith in her and their entire partnership would be thrown off if he found out.  

Despite all of these thought and fears, she still wanted to know who he was.  She knew it wasn’t really fair for her to suddenly be so curious when she had refused to tell him her identity for years.  However, she still couldn’t ignore her new found curiosity.

“I’m not sure why to be honest with you Tikki,”  She spoke quietly without looking up from her list.  She silently took in a breath and finally looked up to lock eyes with her kwami.  “I’m worried the dumb cat might be growing on me in more ways than one,” she said with a slight blush on her face.  She hadn’t said it out loud up to this point, but now that she had she was suddenly very aware of her feelings.  Her heartbeat had skipped a few times since their recent meeting.  She had caught herself blushing many times. She had even stuttered when speaking to him.  All of the above were actions she had exhibited before, but only when she thought about…

“But what about Adrien?”  Tikki’s question stung.  Marinette definitely hadn’t forgotten about Adrien.  How could she ever forget about her first crush?  He was so kind and gentle towards her ever since she first met him.  He wanted to be her friend from day one, even though she had trouble even speaking to him clearly.  Marinette sat down on her chaise and looked down in her lap as tears began to build up in the corners of her eyes.  

“I honestly don’t know what I feel, Tikki”  she mumbled as tears began to dribble down her face.  Tikki lightly nuzzled Marinette’s cheek as she continued to cry softly.  Many ladybugs had fought with their feelings toward their partners in the past.  Tikki had learned that comforting her chosen came with the territory.  Every ladybug needed different forms of comfort.  For Marinette, words were never truly needed.  Simply feeling Tikki’s weight against her cheek helped her know she was not alone.    

Marinette eventually decided that returning to school later in the day was going to be too difficult for her.  She told her parents that she wasn’t feeling well and Sabine called the school while Marinette walked back up to her room.  She still had two days left to figure out her feelings about the two blonde boys in her life.  Taking one day to clear her head and get some rest would be for the best.  She lied down on her bed as her exhaustion from the night before finally began to really present itself.  Tikki curled up on the pillow beside her and watched over her chosen as her eyelids slid shut.  As Mari took time to rest and calm her thoughts a bit, two of her classmates began to worry about her sudden absence.

*     *     *     *     *

“Alya.  Do you know where Marinette is?” Adrien asked in a very uneasy voice.

“No!  I texted her about twenty minutes ago and nothing,”  Alya replied as she checked her phone a fifth time.  “I hope she’s feeling alright.  She seemed more exhausted and anxious than usual today.”

That response worried Adrien.  He never meant to get Marinette upset or distressed.  Had she been up all night?  Was she really so worried about the dance that it caused a visible spike in her anxiety?  

Did she not want to know who he was?  

“Dammit!” he exclaimed as he lept up from his seat.  

“Adrien where are you going? Return to your seat immediately!”  Ms. Mendeleiev called after him, but he kept on running.  Whatever trouble he was in, he would deal with it later.  For now he was only concerned with making sure he hadn’t crossed a line and taken his fun too far with Marinette.  He had to see her.  Had had to know she was alright.  Then he would go back and blame the whole thing on an emergency stomach ache, which wouldn’t be a total lie.  There was definitely a growing pain in his stomach as he approached her house and stared up at her balcony.  

“Alright Plagg, time to go aid a princess in distress,”  he whispered.  Plagg flew out from inside Adrien’s jacket and rolled his eyes.

“Isn’t that how this whole fiasco started in the first place?  Maybe you should just leave her alone for a bit.  The girl has been given a lot of information all at one and I’m sure she doesn’t need you bursting in and making it worse.”  For once, Plagg’s whole blunt and honest routine hit deep in Adrien’s chest.  The last thing he wanted to do was upset Marinette more, but he still wanted to make sure she was okay.  

“You know Plagg you’re actually right for once,”  he admitted as a new idea crept into his mind.  “But even if she doesn’t really want to see Chat Noir right now…”  he began as Plagg looked up at his chosen with an inquisitive expression.  “Maybe She wouldn’t mind speaking to Adrien Agreste,” he finished with a smirk.  Plagg shook his head but knew Adrien wasn’t going to give in.

“I still think this is a bad idea, but I know you won’t listen to me.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you kid.”  With that final remark, The kwami flew back into his usual hiding place in Adrien’s jacket.  Adrien closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before pushing open the door to the Dupain-Cheng bakery.