#i could have gone on

[svampira]

my babygirl he's so normal

[seesgood]

below the cut is spicy humor, if you are not in the proper place for spicy humor, don’t click below the cut. okay? okay. 

my favorite things about rpc drama:

everyone using people’s first names as if we’re all just immediately supposed to know who a person is by their first name. 

bonus points if the drama is bad enough that the name now becomes Legendary, i always pity those who want to use their name / alias but it’s one of “The Bad Ones” 

it’s very much giving lunchroom gossip

bonus points because the person involved in the drama always changes their alias so then you get “this is a warning about name / other name / other other name / other other other name” 

the dash response always being vague posts about drama but no one ever actually posts what the drama is, you have to go through the black market network and hope someone offers to message you privately and fill you in and then you are now charged with spreading that knowledge to who you deem worthy 

the ‘vague mention of drama’ > ‘omg im so glad that my dash is so nice i only ever get the reaction posts and not the drama’ posts > thought out really well written meta about The Drama and what it speaks to on a broader / more philosophical level’

rehashing the ‘filter your own content’ vs ‘actually some content IS bad’ debate for the trillionth time 

hours later the “wait omg what happened?!” or “i left for like three hours and it all goes to shit?!” posts arrive 

the references to the ‘walking into a burning room carrying pizzas’ gif 

the fact that at this point we all know that every person not involved with The Drama is gossiping about the drama, because we all secretly like the drama but you can’t outright say that you like the drama ya know bc then that’s bad 

it always being That One Fandom but the fandom always changes with the times so you’re never sure which fandom it’ll be next until it becomes That Fandom 

your dash being just entirely vague posts about the drama but then there’s always 1-2 people who are posting regular headcanons / metas about their character and it’s very much giving ‘the band played on as the titanic sank’ vibes 

call out post google docs that are over 30 pages. why? just why. your target audience will already have made up their mind in the first two seconds of your spiel, the majority of people are just reading it bc they want the Hot Goss

[bywandandsword]

My mom shared a tiktok about neanderthal evolution and thirty minutes later I've move passed expanding on what was in the video and all the human evolution that got to that point, and after a brief detour talking about the Leaky's and the Trimates, I've moved onto explaining grolar bears, climate change's effect on spiecies' development, and challenging our taxonomic system

[hinamie]

to moving forward

[christadeguchi]

quick question: when will she ravish me.

also... the music. the little wet noises... so good...

[seance]

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES + the onion headlines

[wakamotogarou]

Tautogram in C

By thewolvensong

Crystalline carnage churns cycles cinders cremating, creating carcinogens. California celebrities celebrate ceaselessly, clam-bakes champagne & chardonnay!

Champions constipating cerebral cells Clerks, clerics censure censor cement certain certified collaborative collapse Collegians collared & clinging colorful cocks cauterized!

Colossal columns combine combusting, compelling competing complaints- Complacent compliant complicit cogs, chafing chains challenging chances.

Change (chaos) character charades, chastised cheaply choosing chatting Chitinous chips clambering. cinematic ciphers & circuses.

Cackling cadavers, cannibals carnivores camouflaged candid candidates (caramel candy) Cankerous cancer collecting & colliding canonizing cantankerous capitols, Capsizing captains carouse carefully.

[underwhelmingalchemist]

In honor of the Gävlebocken being declared dead by wikipedia

[shepscapades]

At long last… the story of how Mumbo Deviates! I realize this is the most anticlimactic response i could've given to the crazy number of asks I’ve gotten wondering how Mumbo deviates and asking how angsty or heartbreaking or dramatic it is… but hear me out okay. The idea that mumbo is just doing Normal, Day-To-Day android stuff and some random mob just. spooks him so bad that he deviates on the spot and never tells a soul is not only Hilarious but it also feels Really in character DLFGKJFGJ

(And so, i stick to my guns about mumbo being spared from angst. silly goofy guy who i love so so much =w=)

[ducktracy]

there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love

[kedreeva]

You can hear this bread. One second I'll show you. Please listen to my bread

This is a loaf of asiago chunk sourdough. Inside there are chunks of asiago. The dough was mixed with mashed garlic as well. The sound in the video is the cheese bubbling in the interior, echoing in the air pockets of the loaf. I'm going to eat the shit out of this for breakfast tomorrow.

This is the world's easiest sourdough loaf too, with only 6 hours total rising/proofing time!

Ingredients:

455g white bread flour

1 tsp sea salt

285g warm water

100g active, bubbly starter

120g Asiago cheese

(optional) crushed garlic to taste (I use about 2 cloves worth and it's a lot)

Asiago chunk sourdough bread

Cut asiago into smallish chunks

Combine flour and salt in one bowl

Combine starter and water in another bowl, stir until starter is dissolved.

Mix flour into the wet mixture until a dough begins to form. Knead on a well-floured surface until dough is smooth.

Mix in cheese (and garlic) until well incorporated

Dust rising bowl (solid! Not a basket!) with flour. Let dough rise 1 hour in warm spot, covered with plastic wrap

Fold over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour

Repeat folding over around the edges, place back in bowl seal-side down for 1 more hour (3 total rising hours to here)

Shape dough into round if not, and place into proofing basket for 3 hours. Toward the end of this, preheat oven to 450F, with the cast iron pot so it's HOT when you add the dough.

Dump your dough onto your kneading board, fold over around the edges one more time, slice the top DEEPLY.

Bake 30 minutes seam-side down in covered cast iron pot at 450F. Remove lid, bake for another 30-40 minutes with lid off. (Cook time may vary on location and oven... MY OVEN takes this long. I just baked a loaf at a friend's that baked WAY differently, it was done in about 40 minutes total)

Remove and let cool completely before slicing. You can freeze it but slice it first.

[psirem]

It was the first time you realized God could not understand you.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Unsolved Mysteries.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

[thatdeadaquarius]

About your language brainrot. I see your "Reader's writing can't match tyvat's long and flowery writing" and bring you "Tyvat isn't used to books over 50 pages long so a short story to the Reader is a whole dictionary to tyvat readers".

Seriously, have you seen how thin the books are? They don't wrote novels, they write short chapters formatted in the way really old stories are. As in, summarizing all the events down into one smooth story then adding a few quotes. Fanfiction writers are insane. They will willingly sit down and write hundreds of words at a time. To them, a proper modern day story of maybe, oh 10k words or so, would probably be like the Oddessy itself.

If we were to combine the two headcanons. It would end up as many historians being intimidated by this insanely long written scripture in the language of the forgotten.

I'm going to take this a step further and say that if the creator asked some people to proofread their things, it would establish a hiarchy of who is able to actually finish the book the creator read and who isn't.

NOW THIS, THIS IS MY FUCKING JAMMMM

I'm so sorry this is so old!! u probably all know this by this point that I've really slowed down as the year has gone on, but I graduated university and then got my first job so its been pretty crazy!

Sun: Reader (you/they/them)

Orbit: Headcanons-ish

Stars: dash of all the book/nerds of Genshin, heavy on Sumeru?

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: Cussing, 16+ Mature Audiences, Spoliers for Sumeru Archon Quests/Scaramouche, & Trigger Warnings: mention of shipping/characters shipping themselves with you.

Comment if any missed, please.

☆

FULL STOP.

THE AKADEMIYA, FONTAINE RESEARCH INSTITUTE, HAVE BEEN WAITTTINNGGGG ON YOUR ASS LMAO

You fall from the fucking sky like a 5 star, or pop out of the Irminsul or whatever

and immediately are mobbed by scholars. LMAO jkjk (not really, bc that's what it’d feel like)

can you even imagine the dread older stories(”the classics” to them), that was instilled in the poor students around Teyvat??

id like to think ur works are the most preserved over the thousands of years of Teyvat archeologists excavating them, in comparison to other authors (teyvat just likes you more, suck it William Shakespeare)

also, bc I cant resist language differences/world building I'm sorryyyy 😭 😭

the vocab of Genshin lang vs. ours, has significantly less vocabulary like their actual dictionary is 1/3 the size of ours type of energy

(Omfg all ur fanfics being considered like insanely long realistic romantic classics or tragedies like Jane Austen-level, and only the richest and biggest play companies put on plays about ur stories bc the script goes on for hours)

(ur plays only get put on for rlly big events bc of this, like Lantern Rite or like a Summer/Winter festival/your birthday, which is, yes, an international holiday)

dude the sheer power move of anything you’ve written being essentially “Journey of the West” to them, like Damnnn.

endless like adaptations, plays, Teyvat-short stories condensing it, (THEIR OWN FANFICTION ABOUT UR STORIES)

the power is, in fact, going to your head every time another scholar both deflates at how long ur stuff is, but also lights up bc they get to read it

speaking of scholars… you know who snatched you up first. you know. you don’t even need to read the next line.

Alhaitham.

sneaky bastard he is, absolutely manipulated, mansplained (and manwhored bc he knows he’s handsome, cheeky little shit) his way into getting you to sit down with him and interview you about both translating other classics, your own, giving your own analysis of others works and ur own, and picking ur brain apart of how/why you wrote urs, etc. its fucking endless,

Kaveh had to come rescue you bc u were starving to death after getting stuck with the Haravatat scholar in his office for nearly 7 hours of interrogation discussion about literature

and Alhaitham wasn't even nearly done, he’d informed you as you left that he already had another appointment for later conversation scheduled (how?? you don't even know ur own schedule??? you have a schedule???) and was looking forward to more of your “creative and enlightening input” :)))

(you’re never going to escape him, not even Nahida herself can save you from his stubborn ass)

On another note, Xingqiu is quaking when you agree to autograph his copy of your stories (of which he has all hard covers of the first edition translations)

Zhongli/Rex Lapis is known for having a near-lifelong passion for searching for your works specifically, and learning how to translate them better into Teyvatian vernacular

like the same way he can absolutely speak on Rex Lapis facts/rocks/adepti info, is the same confidence he speaks about knowing ur work lol

(yes he did also ask for several autographs and another sit-down talk about the works, tho a lot more sneaky then Alhaitham bc he just casually gets u guys into it during dinner)

Barbatos/Venti has written some of the most famous songs based on your stuff, he has his favorites too,

but he always claims the best songs are any that have been written in the story, like either when a character sings something, or there are like quotes from songs ur fanfics are based on lol

(he also demanded to hear what they actually sound like from you, yes, you have to sing them for him lol)

Venti also can surprisingly drunkenly ramble the entirety of at least one of ur stories, like, word for word lmao

(Diluc gave in and did give him a drink on the house for that one, just once, Venti doesn’t remember it lol)

(I forgot to mention, u guys still speak the same language, just like, different versions of it)

ur works being one of the few things all the Archons can freely talk about with each other, like it’s neutral ground bc they’re all fangirling about it lmao

Furina and Neuvillette have had like,, fierce debates over the decades about character dynamics and the general drama of ur stories, they’ve gotten into it enough they’ve stopped talking to each other for a couple days a few times lol

Albedo, Sucrose, Kokomi, Yae Miko, Ei, Raiden, have read every single work they’re gotten their hands on in Teyvat (it took them like a literal year or longer)

Albedo drew you fanart for every single story, bc he’s hyperfixated on everything related to you ngl,

Kokomi had commissioned smaller pocket versions of ur works (which later got popular thanks to Yae Miko) both the OG and the Teyvat shortened versions

THE HARBINGERS ARE THE MOST DOWN BAD LMAO

Childe has literally tried to recreate battle scenes from ur works lmao

and gets especially riled up about fighting someone who resembles any characters from them (esp villains, what a cutie)

You cannot fathom the amount of research throughout Teyvat that has been secretly or indirectly funded by Pantalone/Tsaritsa

from the experts to analyze them, to funding play companies to act them out, to actually excavating places to get more of ur stuff unearthed

(the Harbingers absolutely are the first group of people that got to read several of ur stories first bc of this, like the world’s most exclusive secret book club lol)

Scaramouche used to clown on Childe all the time about how he was too impatient to even “sit down and read the King’s classics”, and he was downright insufferable when he found out about Tartaglia’s habit of recreating battle scenes/that being what motivated him to fight sometimes lol

that being said, Wanderer surprisingly never forgot ur stories.

Even when his memories were wiped for a bit, he found comfort in these fantastical epics still sticking around, even when his old names did not

(he mayyyy or mayyy nottt have secretly namedhimselfafteroneofthetragicprotagonistsherelatesto- )

oh btw, Nahida also found joy and comfort in ur stories when she was trapped, they also helped her literally grow as a person bc she had ur stories to help her sort of process the world/what life was like outside of her dreaming prison 🥺💔❤️‍🩹

◇

OMFG

ANYWAY FULL TONE SHIFT LMFAO-

the ABSOLUTE SPIRAL-RED-STRING-CONSPIRACY-THEORY-BOARD ENERGY IF THIS WAS A BLUNT LANGUAGE AU LMAOOOO

like specifically how Teyvatians like to give all the context ever thru their words, but older deities/beings like you just do simple phrases that can have deeper meanings (whereas teyvat just explains all the meanings behind their words)

STOP there’s like an official display at the Akademiya and Fontaine Institute of red string theory boards 😭😭 (look what you’ve done to themmm LMAO)

for like every story of urs, INCLUDING THE FANFICS STOP

IMAGINE THE SHIPPING WARS IF U EVER WROTE ONE THAT WASNT EXPLICIT OR LIKE ONE OF THE MAIN ROMANTIC INTERESTS HAD CHEMISTRY WITH OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAA

that's actually what Akademiya scholars argue about the most viciously, it’s like politics you can’t just bring up ships from ur stories casually in regular convos 💀

(poor Cyno has to deal with a shipping war once a year bc someone always makes the mistake of reading ur work for the first time (without being told to not talk to others abt ships lol) and it starts an all out brawl in the cafeteria every time LMAO)

Also yes.

Cyno is a fanboy.

(he has read Creator x Reader-insert fanfiction.)

(As have most of the characters mentioned, and those not lol)

…

(I'm gonna make a whole Creator x reader fanfic post one day i stg lmao)

☆

an iced coffee? for me?? :0

ok but real talk…

wtf do you guys wanna see for new years!!

i didn't do a inktober/october days thingy bc i felt too unprepared (and bc id wanted to post that 1000+ followers eldritch au for Halloween)

but now i kinda wanna, at least for a few days :o

ill post a poll in a minute, so check it out!! but still, please feel free to comment some ideas here! :)

Safe Travels Deafening Dreamer,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily

[p4nishers]

crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever

hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE