#i could grade cheese on their abs

[5mary5]

HUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH?!

OOÒOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSJDNSKXNDKDN

[thesadboy]

Buncha Little Macs! Honestly I initially wasn’t a big fan of SugarMac, having been more on the MarbleMac side, but that couple grew on me because of how wholesome they are TvT That and how the episodes about their relationship have some fairly solid advice on romantic relationships (ie, the whole “small gestures of love are good too” in Hard to Say Anything)

I actually kinda like the design for their canon kid, but the rumored name of “Big Sugar”??? Ehhh not so much haha. So in my next gen, his name is Sweet Apple while his brother there on the upper right (who’s the middle child) is Piney Apple and his sister there on the upper left (who’s the youngest) is Red "Angie" Anjou.

Also for MarbleMac, I’m wondering which direction I’ll take that ship in (polyamory? divorce? Marble moves on? who knows)

Some more info below👇

Sweet Apple was always fascinated with his dad's yoke and would always beg to wear it since he felt it would "make him a big boy." Big Mac told him that once he was strong enough to carry it around for a day, then he could wear it. As you can see here, he did manage to do just that :^)

Each of them have their own nicknames for their paternal aunts. Sweet Apple calls Applejack “Auntie Jacki” and Apple Boom “Auntie Bloomy”. Piney calls Applejack “Aunt AJ” and Apple Bloom “Auntie AB”. Angie calls Applejack “Auntie Jack-jack” and Apple Bloom “Aunt Blooms”.

Angie was named after a type of pear as Big Mac's attempt to connect better with his maternal family. After he and his sisters got to properly know Grand Pear, they met the rest of their Pear relatives, including their maternal grandmother Cinnamon Pear (this is an actual character who appeared in Perfect Pear btw, I'm one of those who headcanon her as being Pear Butter's mother). Cinnamon Pear was even the one who suggested her name, while discussing potental baby names with Big Mac and Sugar Belle (Sugar Belle was pregnant with Sweet Apple at this time).

Of the siblings, Sweet Apple’s the only one who got to meet Granny Smith and Grand Pear :,)

When they were little and told that they would have another sibling, Sweet Apple was excited to be a big brother again while Piney wasn't since he still wanted to be the baby. Though Piney's dislike of the idea was forgotten for awhile when he and Sweet Apple had a bet on whether their sibling would be an earth pony like them or a unicorn like their mom.

Sweet Apple is best friends with Lil Cheese and the two of them often spend time together in Sugarcube corner, which is convenient since Sugar Belle delivers her sweets there whenever she can.

The kids adore their maternal aunt, Fizzlepop Berrytwist aka Tempest Shadow (I like the headcanon that Tempest is Sugar Belle’s older sister who ran away before she was born since it makes for great angst material). “Auntie Fizzy” (only the kids can call her that) loves the kids but she’s awkward around them, lol.

Angie’s enrolled in the School of Friendship, which is where she wanted to study ever since she’s heard about it. Her Auntie Jack-jack even helped convince her parents to enroll her there. She’s noted to be really active in various clubs and extracurriculars but struggles a bit with her grades.

Like his mother, Sweet Apple is interested in baking and alongside his best friend, they apprenticed under the Cakes to learn all the best recipes. Currently, Sweet Apple’s planning on going to college and taking a culinary course.

Piney’s the only one of them who doesn’t have a cutie mark yet, something that he’s insecure about.

Angie often listened to stories from Sugar Belle about Starlight Glimmer and while her brothers don’t think too positively of her (Sweet Apple is scared of her while Piney is wary and always onguard when she’s near), she can’t help but be intrigued with her. She wants to know what the road to villainy then reformation is like and whether powerful magic might have a correlation to emotional instability. It’s this fascination with the Headmare that was part of her reason for wanting to go to the School of Friendship.

Piney struggles a bit with middle child syndrome, mainly feeling that he doesn't have anything great going for him like his siblings.

[rabidwerewolfie]

Bowl Full Of Jelly

Dad’s watching Good Morning America and I just happen to be in the room.

They talk about Trainers Of The Stars meaning personal fitness trainers. Two body-builder men with abs you could grade cheese on, a fairly toned woman with a little extra on the hips, and a fat woman in a sweatsuit.

Fuck your “No offense”, I don’t care WHO this offends, I do not want a personal fitness trainer who’s fatter than I am. If you can’t even keep YOURSELF in shape how the hell are you going to help ME?!

I am going to immediately assume you are REALLY bad at your job.

Who the hell do these people think they’re fooling?!

And before the fat-shamers waste their time arguing with me, there is no such thing as Health At Any Size. You’re welcome to be any size you please but don’t try to bullshit me about how someone 4-500 pounds is just as healthy as anyone else.

Just because your doctor doesn’t tell you that you only have 5 months to live doesn’t mean you’re in good health. You’re just not critical. Yet.

[azlrse]

In The Arms Of A Mother (Platonic Yandere Golden Cheese Cookie x GN Human!Reader)

CW: semi yandere themes, implied kidnapping, angst to fluff, implied ab*se, self aware AU.

A/N: Golden Cheese is by far one of my faves among the Ancient cookies and I couldn't find some fics dedicated towards her and this idea popped out. Also, let's pretend that Golden Cheese and the other ancients are present in the game.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Picture this; you had a pretty decent life. Good grades and enrolled to a prestigious university, had many friends and musically gifted from the line of your great ancestors. You had the perfect life in someone else's perspective but every picture perfect life has its dark secret.

You never felt true affection from your family.

But rarely, you only received those if you became the top among your peers, winning a musical contest and carrying out great pride from your family name.

Failed to do so would only deem you as a failure in your family. Your dad would lecture you for hours and kept on hitting your hands with his baton as a punishment.

"You only got 2nd place at the competition?! You are NOT a loser! You should work harder!"

"Next time, if you didn't win that trophy, all of your privileges will be gone, including that nuisance of a phone of yours. Playing that stupid game as a 'free time', tsk..."

Playing crk is your escape after dealing with alot of problems in your life, sealed away in your humongous room filled with prized trinkets and trophies that symbolizes your mental sacrifices to achieve those awards.

While playing the game, her yellow eyes stared at you in disbelief (after seeing the small bruises on your face), how could your parents treated you like that?! You don't deserve to be in that household, it's better for you to live with her in the huge palace where a great kingdom awaits you, as the queen's newest child.

While surrounded with riches and a kingdom where she rules, there's no doubt that the heroine also experiences loneliness despite having the other ancients as her closest friends. She also sees some of her friends having children of their own like Hollyberry and Dark Cacao.

When she first saw you, she became extremely worried from your appearance; red puffy eyes, eye bags and the occasional wounds and bruises from the hits you took. Golden Cheese would start watch over you, even if you were logged out from the game.

She even tries to talk to you through the games dialogue like "I wish you were here.." and "You can do it, my child. I believe in you." If that's not enough, she would even stared at you occasional through the taps of your screen.

She now sees you as her child, with or without your parents knowledge, you'll be with her under her protection, away from your abusive household.

-----

"Another B-?! When did you become so dumb?!" Another hit was landed upon you and your arms covered your head as an act to defend yourself. "B-but I tried my hardest to get an A. You know that subject was the hardest to memorize!" And you felt extreme pain as blood began to drip down from your head, making you dizzy and began to pass out from the impact.

Golden Cheese only stared in shock and in anger when she saw your worsen condition. That's it, she had enough of your parents' bullshit. She needs to take you back in Earthbread, away from your family. From now on, she's now your new mom and adopts you as her child.

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO US LIKE THAT!"

"Listen here you worthless dunce, you need to thank us for providing you a home and sending you to a really good school. So you better fix your attitude and get those grades back!"

........

"Not if I'm here..." You saw a blurry yellow figure, holding a weapon on its hands. "Stay away from my kid, you nuisance.." At this point, your parents are a bit scared by the stranger's attitude and the weapon on the figure's hands. "Your kid?! What are you talking about?! You don't give birth to them, you aren't present in their lives and you don't care for them so what gives you the right to be their so called parent?!" You parents sneered.

Golden Cheese only chuckled and proceeded to knock the both of them out with her weapon. She then carried your unconscious body and walking towards the bright portal of the room. "Rest well, my child. From now on, you'll be protected and to be cared for, as long as you're in my arms."

And that's the last thing you remembered before you consciousness slipped away while murmuring a small 'thank you' towards your rescuer.

-----

You woke up and searing pain was present on your head, which was bandaged up. You noticed that your body was treated with medicine and was covered with several bandages. And the bed you were in, it was really comfortable and the pillows are really soft. You noticed that the room you were in was different; golden yellow walls and several tapestries were seen. Not to mention some of your trinkets where also placed in a nearby desk.

You tried to stand up but instantly fell down, a dull pain was felt on your legs and the clothes you wore.... It also looks different....

What on earth is going on here?

Staring at the mirror that was beside by the bed, eyes went wide as soon as you saw your reflection. Flat body and a garment that only royalty could wear. Then it hits you..

You just became a cookie...

Letting out a scream, some guards came rushing towards your room and proceeded to tell the queen that you were awake. "The princess/prince was awake! Notify the queen please!"

Helplessly lying on the cold ground, you still whimpered in pain as tears began to our down from your eyes. Your eyes glued towards the door as heavy footsteps began to grow louder and louder. Upon opening the door, she saw you on the ground, clearly in pain and her motherly instincts kicked in.

"Why did you stood up from the bed? You should rest for a while, Parmesan Cookie. You're body is not yet used like us so you must rest, my child." You were baffled from the name and the figure that rescued you from your nightmare.

"You're Golden Cheese Cookie..." She nods in affirmation. "Why do you call me 'Parmesan Cookie'. That's not my name, my name is (y/n) and why did you bring me here?" Golden Cheese let's out a sigh sat down beside you. "Having you real name can bring alot of pain from you, especially when I first rescued you from your horrible family. I couldn't let you suffer and it'ss better for you to live here, I won't let anyone hurt you again."

Golden Cheese hugged you tightly and was a bit stunned by the affection she gave towards you. You didn't do anything good today so why did she just gave a hug all of the sudden? Her hugs were so warm and comfortable (unlike your parents), you proceeded to cry softly and gripping her arms back. Thanking her profusely for rescuing you from the household you suffered for years.

"Thank you Golden Cheese, thank you..."

"No need to thank me, Parmesan. And you know, you can call me mom from now on."

"....thank you mom..."

And then you felt asleep once again, in the arms of your new mother, who cares and loves you unconditionally and your new title as the new royal of the Golden Cheese Kingdom awaits you.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

A/N: should I create this as a series? ://

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

[unanuvola]

Come sarò io e come sarai tu (con qualche giorno in più)

Pairing: Damiano David x reader; Ethan Torchio x reader

Characters: Damiano David, Ethan Torchio, Victoria De Angelis, Thomas Raggi

Genre: Romance

Warning(s): Swearing

Summary: What if after fifteen years the past you really want to forget comes back to you at work? What would you do?

Note: thanks to my friend @tezz1n for the translation <3

⁂~⁂~⁂

PROLOGUE

June 2005

It was terribly hot for the beginning of June and I was in the middle of a chaos of people. It was as if most of the Manzoni High School students had the same brilliant idea as me and were trying to grab something to eat before the Måneskin concert. My patience reached its limit when I was surrounded by armpits’ smell. God, why are guys so afraid of washing themselves? 

"Excuse me... Please…" I said while trying to break free from sweaty and sticky people.

"Let her pass that her fiancé is going to perform! She can’t wait to throw her bra on stage!" 

I heard them clearly because, after all, they weren’t trying to hide themselves and I didn’t even need to look who was talking, ‘cause I knew them all too well.  Mariani and Russo from fourth grade, two losers with little desire to study and a big desire to be a pain in the ass. They started a little while ago, but I was trying not to care too much, in a little bit more than a month the final exams would have been over and I would have not seen those bastards ever again. 

"You know what? His boyfriend? In my opinion he fucks with all of them, also the lass from International!" 

While they were still laughing, I reached my table. I took a plate and a handful of cheese fries and asked for a cup of Fanta. I thanked and turned around, fries in one hand and a fully filled cup in the other. I’ve not even had the time to take a step when someone on my right pushed me and my orange flew on Russo’s white shirt. 

"Holy shit!"

My gaze went from the orange stain growing on the fabric to the livid face of Russo and a laugh broke free. The more he looked at me with hate, the more I could not stop laughing. 

"The fuck are you laughing at, dickhead? Look at what you’ve done! Where do you think to go? Come back here, bitch!" 

But I was already slipping in between the crowd with my medium finger well high so that the two losers could clearly see it. 

I sat in front of the stage that the end-of-the-year festival committee had placed in the middle of the school yard, and took my phone from my crossbody bag. Two missed calls from mom. I rang her ‘cause obviously I had no credit and, after some minutes, the phone started to buzz.

"Ehy momy! Something happened?" 

"No, just wanted to know if you’ll be home for lunch."

"Don’t know… it depends on what they guys are going to do after the concert," I said nibbling my lips, "but this evening I’m home for sure. I’d like to speak with you about something." 

"Ok, honey! See you at dinner. Please, on time. Have a good concert and say hi to Ethan!" 

"Ok! Bye, bye, bye!" and I hung up. 

So, this evening I would have said to my parents that I’d have liked to sign up for university here in Rome and to not come back to Turin. Was I ready? Absolutely not, but that was not the time to worry myself for sure. I would have thought about it later.

The other students from the Manzoni were starting to crowd and I had to stand up. I was about to put the phone in my bag when it buzzed. A message.  

From: Damiano 

<3

Without thinking twice I gave him a ring and then I started staring at that little heart mindlessly. Shit, I’m screwed - I thought while placing the mobile in my bag and taking my oh-so-precious digital camera, a birthday gift from my parents. 

I liked Damiano, well, I liked him a lot and, inexplicably, he liked me too. I wasn’t able to understand how such a miracle was even possible, but it was and the best thing to do was to live it every single day.

The principal took the stage and, after the usual recommendations (“No pogo, no throwing things on stage and no inappropriate behaviours."), he introduced the band.

"And now a big round of applause to Måneskin!" he exclaimed, gesturing for my friends to get on stage, "Have fun everyone!"

The firsts to get on stage were Thomas and Victoria, already carrying their guitar and bass over their shoulders. Then it was the turn of Ethan. His eyes were frantically moving over the crowd until they set on me. He smiled at me before sitting behind his drums. At least, it was the turn of Damiano. He went past me and winked, I could not do or say a single thing such was my bewitchment. The long hair over his shoulders, the shirt opened that allowed a glimpse at his abs. The same abs I was caressing only some evenings ago.

"Hey-yo this is Måneskin! The first song is for you, Malibù." Damiano said at the microphone and the unmistakable notes of Luna by Verdena started to fly in the sky.

Yes, Malibù is me. No, Malibù is not my name. It’s the nickname Damiano gave me one of the first times we’ve met. And in that moment, he was dedicating me one of my favorite songs. Saying I was in cloud nine was not enough. I sang every line, at the top of my lungs, and only when they started singing the other songs I decided to take some picture. I tried my best, but I was almost sure that all the pictures would end up being blurred because the guys were moving worse than snakes. What kind of official photographer would I be if I couldn’t even take a picture in focus?

At the end of the concert - too early for my taste - I ran in the classroom that had been set as backstage. I wanted to congratulate the guys and, even more, I want to jump on Damiano, saying to him that he’d been oh-so-good and then kiss him for the rest of my life. 

The classroom door was half-closed. Instead of opening it, I peek through the crack and what I saw turned my blood into ice. Without even noticing, I started crying. I covered my mouth with my hands to lessen the sobs, but it was too late. Victoria, her lips still on Damiano’s, opened her eyes and saw me. 

I started running, fast. My eyes were burning terribly and my brain couldn’t react to what I’ve just seen. 

I have not had the time to leave the school when I felt someone grabbing my arm. Even if my sight was blurred by the tears, I turned and saw Ethan. 

"What happened?" he asked me. His voice sounded so far away, like a distant murmur, "Would you tell me what happened?". His usual composure was gone. I squirmed and ran away without looking back. 

I exit the school building not knowing that that was the last time I would have seen Damiano. 

[makbarnes]

Chapter 7

Bucky set his duffel bag next to your door in the hall and slowly knocked. Bucky was leaving for a mission and hated every detail about it. He would be gone for a month and he didn’t want to leave. You opened your door and saw a sad Bucky standing in the hall. You opened your door and Tatum rushed up to him. Grabbing his leg, he picked her up and shut your door behind him.

“Are you leaving now?” You walked up to Bucky.

“Sadly. I am, Baby.” You hugged Bucky tightly as he stroked you hair.

“Can I give you something?” Tatum pointed to the floor and Bucky sat her down. Tatum looked through her toys and Bucky gripped the back of your head. Pulling your lips into his you moaned quietly and held his hips. Bucky’s teeth nipped at your bottom lip, asking you for an entrance. Letting his tongue pass into your mouth he leaned you back a bit. His tongue moved over your own and went over the little cracks in your teeth. His hand on your lower back, he pulled you against him, feeling his hard abs under his plain shirt you pressed your hands against him.

“We should stop or I am never gonna let you leave.” Bucky kissed you powerfully one last time before gripping your hand.

“Here.” Tatum held up a little gray elephant to Bucky and he took it from her hands.

“I can’t take your elephant.”

“But what if you forget me?” Bucky hugged her tightly.

“How could I forget you, Doll? You’re my favorite girl.” Bucky kissed her forehead before taking the small elephant, standing up to you and giving you one last kiss.

“You too.” Bucky rubbed Tatum’s head before reaching for the doorknob.

“Keep this locked, and there is a you know in your cabinet.”

“Bucky, I don’t want that near Tatum.”

“Its for your protection. She can’t even reach it.” You crossed your arms, and motioned toward the cabinet. Bucky sighed and walked over taking a small handgun from your cabinet. Tucking it into his duffel bag he picked it up from the ground.

“Better?”

“Much. Thank you.” Pecking his lips you shoved him slightly down the hall and he smiled back at you before leaving.

____________________________________________________________________________

Felicity walked into Sam’s house and her hands were shaking.

“What’s wrong, Kitten?” Sam took her hands and he tucked her face into his chest. Her breathing was heavy and she felt a few tears escape her eyes.

“I’m pregnant, Sam.”

“That’s amazing news. Why are you crying?” Your best friend Felicity. You had known her since the eighth grade but she went to college and moved to Brooklyn. You knew she was there but you had started law school. After moving to Brooklyn after college, Felicity went into the peace corps and that is where she met Sam Wilson. She had been there for two years, helping the victims of a natural disaster in Wakanda. While they were fighting HYDRA, Sam got shot down and crashed into a building Felicity was in. Sam grabbed her by the waist and threw her to safety before the building crumbled. SHe spent months helping him recover, falling in love. He stayed there for the two years Felicity was assigned until Steve needed his help. Getting married in secret, and after trying to have a baby but failing. They decided to move with him to help, heading back to Brooklyn she joined SHIELD. Before Felicity got on a case her and Sam were having fertility problems it finally had worked two months ago and she was losing it. The case SHIELD had been assigned on, was watching Loki, while the Avengers were watching you and Tatum. Felicity seduced Loki after he left you and she kept her marriage from you but still tried with Sam for a baby. Yes Loki and Felicity did have sex but only with a condom, saying he didn’t want a {Y/N} repeat. But after finding out she was pregnant she knew it was only a matter of time before he found out.

“I ruined the case...I’m such a fuck up.” Felicity sniffled a little while Sam wiped away her tears.

“You are not, You did not ruin the case either. It’s falling apart as is. Bucky is too involved to try and keep it from her any longer. We can just pretend it’s Loki for the meantime. Say the condom broke.” Sam kissed her powerfully, she moaned a little while Sam picked her up on his hips. Moving her over to his bed he stopped kissing her and grabbed a small silver band off of the table and slipped it on Felicity's ring finger.

“Still feels like I’m marrying you every time I put it on you.” Sam kissed her neck and she pulled off his forest green shirt. His chiseled abs made her chew her lip, hearing her phone ring in her back pocket she sighed and picked it up.

“Hello?” Felicity’s voice sounding impatient as ever.

"Are you alright, love? You sound...distracted." Loki’s voice pierced through the phone. Seeing Sam roll his eyes and grit his teeth, he rested his head on Felicity's chest.” “I’m just on break. Why?” You held onto the back of Sam’s head and smiled.

“Hm. Well I was phoning to tell you to meet me at Zenkichi for lunch. We are having Anago & Cream Cheese Tempura and I want you here at six. Oh and wear that skimpy red number, would you? It's ravishing on you.” Felicity sighed heavily and hung up her phone. “I have to go babe.” Sam lifted her shirt and kissed up her center. Moaning in the back of her throat she pushed Sam away. Sitting up she sat down her phone and went over to her closet.

“Why does he get all the fun?”

“Blame Fury, he assigned me on this.” She grabbed a red dress from the closet and stripped off her regular clothes. Slipping on the dress Felicity adjusted the low v-neck and fluffed her hair a bit.

“Take it off.”

“He told me to wear this, Sam.”

“I don’t give a shit, You only get to wear that with me. When we are out together. Not for that douchebag.”

“What am I supposed to do, He is so controlling.” “I am your husband and he does not own you.” Sam picked out a white dress with black lace down the side. Taking the red dress off of her Sam slipped the white one on.

“There, go tame the reindeer.” Felicity kissed him hard and slipped off her ring, giving it back to Sam.

“I hate having to leave you.”

“I know, But soon Felicity.” Sam kissed her hungrily before moving her out of the door. She waved Sam goodbye and went to Loki.

___________________________________________________________________________

You had made yourself comfortable on the couches with your caseload as Tatum played on her mat behind you. You had her kid music playing and found yourself tapping your foot as you read the information in the files. Tatum came up and grabbed your foot, laughing.

“What is it baby?”

“Dance, Mommy!” You smiled as you picked her up and spun in circles along with the music. You took her small hand into your own and swung her around as you hummed the beat. Tatum had a permanent smile on her face as you twirled around the room with her. She moved her hands to hold the sides of your face and kissed your cheek.

“I love you Mommy.”

“I love you too, baby.”

“And I love Bucky and Thor, and Steve.”

“I know you do baby.”

“Do you love Bucky, Mommy?”

“I do.”

“Does that mean he’s gonna be my new Daddy?”

“Maybe, you’d have to ask him that Tatum.”

“He said to ask you.” Tatum giggled as she wanted down and she rushed to her room. You pushed back your hair as you made your way to grab your phone and thought about texting Bucky. Before you could type out anything your phone dinged and a smile grew over your face as you noticed it was from Bucky.

“Hey Doll. Just checking in.”

“Hey, Everything is fine here. But uhm, we need to talk to Tatum. She’s asking a lot of questions and I think it would be better if we were both there. I’m not saying we need to do it right now but maybe in the next coming weeks as we get more serious.” You fiddled with your hands and worried he would block your number.

“We can do that. Whenever you think the time is right.” Bucky quickly responded and a warm feeling came over you as you settled down with your phone in your lap and worked on your cases and continued texting Bucky.

NEXT CHAPTER

SERIES CHAPTER

[dilly-oh]

Red Hoodie of Fate

The blaring of the fire alarm woke Kakashi from a particularly good dream about tacos. He bolted upright, cracked his forehead on the coffee table, swore horrifically, and stumbled to his feet, blearily remembering falling asleep on the couch several hours ago. He must have rolled off at some point, maybe when he’d been sprinkling some cheese on those delicious tacos- no, stop. Food later. Fire now.

Thank God the dogs were at Yamato’s for the night, otherwise he might never have gotten out of the apartment. Bisuke was scared of loud noises and liable to hide in the deepest, darkest corner of the flat, while Bull would refuse to budge after laying down for anything less than the apocalypse. Pakkun probably would have just puked in anxiety and made matters worse, while Uhei, Akino, and Guruko would have simply started howling along with the siren. Urushi and Shiba were the only ones who’d have listened, and that was only if he had treats, which he no longer kept in his pockets after an unfortunate incident he didn’t care to repeat. He made a face as he recalled the taste.

Pulling on a pair of sneakers and a frayed red hoodie from the floor, Kakashi stuffed his keys and phone into his pockets before throwing open the door and lurching out into the hallway. He couldn’t see any flames or smoke, but he wasn’t going to sit around and wait to see if this was legit.

Maybe it was the brat from downstairs, playing pranks again. Kakashi had caught him stuffing a cat into someone’s mailbox the other day, so he definitely wouldn’t put it past the little punk. It had better not be those two idiots down the hall smoking weed again. Doors opened all along the hallway as tenants began pouring from their own apartments, hurrying down the hall and clogging the stairs like sleepy zombies. Kakashi shuffled along with them, letting the river of half-awake people drag him down several flights and out the front doors.

Kakashi milled around the parking lot with the chattering crowd, shivering at the cool night breeze and stuffing his hands into the hoodie’s front pockets. With nothing better to do than stand around awkwardly waiting for the fire-trucks, he glanced about, studying his neighbors one by one.

There was the brat, tousle-haired and sleepy-eyed, clinging to his mother’s long red braid, still half asleep. Near him was the emo kid who never brushed his hair and wore nothing but black – Kakashi was tempted to ask which make-up tutorial he used for his smoky eye. The two pot-heads were in the back, leaning against each other, dozing in place. There were more - the old man who wrote dirty novels and sometimes asked Kakashi for his expert opinion, the married couple from the floor above, and-

There was a man standing in the middle of the parking lot in nothing but a towel. Kakashi did a double-take before it processed.  

He was dripping wet, water dribbling down his shoulders and pooling around his bare feet onto the pavement. Beads of moisture slowly made their way down the curve of his pectorals, glistening in the divots of his collarbone. Goosebumps had broken out over his tanned skin, pebbling his nipples, his long dark hair plastered to his neck and shoulders. He looked like some ancient Selkie come to seduce men to their watery graves, or a primordial God of the sea preparing to smite some mortals. And hopefully date him, dear God please.

Who the hell was that? Kakashi stared in shock, struggling to place him. He’d memorized every face in the building, and he certainly didn’t remember this Adonis, which was quite impossible. He had a whole grading system for every male in the building, and this knock-out would be graduating top of the class, Magna Cum Laud. Then the man turned his head and the light from the streetlamps hit just right, highlighting the faint slashing scar over the bridge of his nose-

Wait. Holy shit. Kakashi recognized him now, but could barely believe it. That was UMINO? Umino Iruka, the stuffy teacher’s aide who had just moved in next door like a month ago? The nerd whose idea of a good time was binge-watching a season of the Great British Bakeoff? Kakashi had given him a barely passing C+, having to dock points for the arsenal of pens in his shirt pocket and that one time he saw him wearing socks with sandals.

Damn. He’d totally misjudged him. This man was a BABE. The white towel only heightened his natural tan, accentuating the deep V of his hip-bones while the shadows played across his toned stomach. He looked…

He looked cold.

Umino stood stiffly upright, head high and without shame. In fact, he glared about, arms crossed, seemingly challenging anyone to make a comment or dare laugh. But Kakashi saw the goose-bumps on his skin, the subtle shiver of his shoulders. Summer had passed and, while winter was still a ways off, fall had begun muscling its way in. Kakashi wasn’t sure the clenched jaw was from irritation or to keep his teeth from chattering.

Kakashi gathered his courage and walked over.

“Hi,” he began, and almost stopped when Umino glared at him, eyes dark and daring. “Umino, right? Hatake Kakashi, from next door.” Umino studied him for a moment, then gave a sharp nod of acknowledgement. “Uh…want my jacket?”

“No, thank you, I’m fine,” Umino bit out with a tight smile, pushing some wet strands of hair out of his face.

Someone wolf-whistled. Probably the old man.

Umino slowly went red, the flush starting in his cheeks, then traveling down his neck to bloom halfway down his chest.

“…Yes, please,” he said quietly, gripping his towel in a white-knuckled hand. Kakashi fought back a chuckle and yanked the hoodie off over his head, inadvertently pulling up his shirt as he did so. Blinded as he was, he missed the flicker of Umino’s eyes over his exposed abdomen and prominent hipbones, the flush darkening a degree. Finally free, Kakashi gave the hoodie a shake and held it out, grinning sheepishly.

“Smells a bit like dog. Sorry.”

“S’fine,” Umino muttered, quickly taking it and pulling it on. It was a little too big for him but did the job, covering that delicious expanse of tanned skin and muscle. Kakashi stepped back and studied him for a moment, his mouth going dry.

Shit. It didn’t help at all. If anything, it made it worse.

Umino was now wearing his hoodie, which draped over his body but only made it to mid-thigh. The result was even more alluring and provocative than him standing there in a towel. Kakashi cleared his throat and snapped his eyes away, praying for a fire-truck to come peeling around the corner and hose him down so he could cool the fuck off.

“…You have a dog?”

“Huh?” Kakashi’s eyes snapped away from Iruka’s meaty thighs as he realized the owner of said thighs had just asked a question. “Oh! Yes. Dog. Or, rather, dog-zuh. Plural.”

“Plural?” Iruka frowned in confusion. “How many are we talking-”

“Eight.”

“EIGHT?!”

“Yup.”

“You have eight dogs.”

“Yup.”

“How did you even sneak that by the super?”

“Oh, she thinks I only have four. I have a friend who keeps a couple at his place. I just rotate them out.”

Umino laughed. It was a nice sound, even when he snorted a little at the end.

“So, what do you do?” Umino asked. “Other than harbor illegal animals, that is.”

“I work at the gym down the street,” Kakashi said, jerking his head. “I’m a fitness trainer.”

“Well, that would explain your abs...sssolutely horrible fashion sense. What are those track pants from, the 80’s?” Umino cleared his throat suddenly and jammed his hands into the hoodie’s pockets, frowned, then pulled out a crumpled wad of receipts for fast-food takeout. He stared accusingly at Kakashi for a long, quiet moment.

“…I’m allowed a cheat day,” Kakashi said.

“These are all from the same HOUR-”

“Gai bet me I couldn’t eat it all. I had to defend my honor.”

“Did you throw it all up afterward?”

“…I can neither confirm nor deny that. I can, however, confirm that I won the bet.” Kakashi winked cheekily, and Umino rolled his eyes.

“Do you…enjoy your job?” he asked, stuffing the receipts back into the pockets.

“It’s not bad. I mean, it could be worse, I could teach brats all day.” Kakashi shrugged. “What do you do?”

“I teach brats all day.”

…Dammit.

Umino’s grin was mischievous, though, and there was no hostility in his tone, so there must have been no offense taken.

“How’s that go?” Kakashi asked, genuinely curious.

“About as horrible as you’d think. I have them just when puberty rears its ugly head and turns them into angst-ridden monsters. My classroom in a cesspool of hormones and crying.”

Kakashi laughed aloud. Umino wasn’t anything like he’d thought. Both inside and out. It was incredibly refreshing, not to mention incredibly attractive.

Which is why he was quite disappointed when the first fire-trucks started to pull into the parking lot. He’d rather the whole apartment complex burn down if it meant he could stand out here, chatting with the hot teacher all night.

The fire, just a microwavable popcorn-bag gone wrong, was put out in minutes, the complex deemed safe by the groggy super, a busty older woman who was either hung over or still drunk at this unholy hour. Tenants began milling back inside, clogging the entrance in their desire to return to bed. Kakashi lingered in the back of the crowd with Umino, reluctant to part ways.

“Well, I suppose I should thank you for your hospitality,” Umino said lightly, reaching up to grasp the hoodie’s zipper. “You can have this back n-”

“Keep it,” Kakashi said quickly. Perhaps too quickly, going by the surprise on Umino’s face. “I mean…just for now. Till you. You know. Get inside and get dressed. You don’t wanna catch a cold.” He cleared his throat awkwardly, feeling his ears get hot.

“Oh…alright.” Umino's hand lowered and he gave him a shy smile, plucking at the loose red threads hanging from the sleeves, winding one around his pinky absently. “Thank you.” The quiet words warmed Kakashi, a delicate shiver traveling up his spine. Kakashi mumbled a response, then doubled over as the hyperactive blonde kid suddenly bowled right into him.

“Watch it, old man!” the brat shouted, dodging away.

“I’m not even thirty!” Kakashi barked after him, offended. “Friggin’ kid. Can you believe-” He turned to Umino and blinked.

He was gone.

---

A knock on the door woke Kakashi right as he was taking another big, crunchy bite of taco. He bolted upright, cracked the back of his head on the coffee table, swore horrifically at himself for not getting in the damn bed this time, and stumbled to his feet. Making a mental reminder to just go and eat some fucking tacos already, he lurched towards the door, tripping over the rug and falling against it with a loud thud. He fought with the handle for a moment before finally yanking it open, squinting at the light stabbing into his eyes from the hallway.

Umino stood there, not hot as hell towel-Umino, but pressed khakis and crisp button-up, array of pens and hair in a severe ponytail Umino, fully dressed and ready for the day. Kakashi, rather than feeling a twinge of disappointment, was surprised to find the man just as alluring covered from head-to-toe as he was three-fourths-naked.

“Good morning,” Umino said, horribly chipper considering the abominable hour.

“Mornin’. What’re you doing here so early?” Kakashi mumbled, rubbing his face. Umino stared at him.

“It’s 9 a.m.”

“Holy shit. Really?” Kakashi squinted down at his watch. “I thought 9 a.m. was a myth.” Umino’s mouth fell open. “You still haven’t answered my question, though.”

“Oh. Right. Um. Your hoodie. I have it,” Umino said quickly, tripping over the words. He was flustered and twitchy with nerves. If Kakashi were a predator, this was when he’d pounce. “I, um, washed it. For you. Here.” He thrust the jacket out, perfectly folded and smelling of lavender. Kakashi was impressed.

“What, did you wash it twice?” he asked, taking it in his hands and marveling at how soft it felt. The rich red color was much more vibrant, almost seeming to glow.

“Three times,” Umino replied flatly. “Then Febreeze.”

“Umino-”

“Iruka.”

Kakashi blinked, looking up to meet the other man’s gaze.

“You can call me Iruka,” he said, sincere.

“…Alright. I’m Kakashi.” Kakashi stuck out his hand, tucking the hoodie under his other arm. Iruka’s shake was firm, his hands surprisingly soft. He must moisturize or something classy like that.

“I want to thank you for helping me out last night,” Iruka went on, two spots of color appearing high on his cheeks. “I was in a rather…awkward predicament and even after I snapped at you, you still helped me despite my rudeness. I…really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Kakashi replied easily, scratching the back of his head. Oh God, his hair must be a nightmare- no, wait. It always was. Nevermind then. “Any time.”

“So, um.” Iruka shuffled his feet a little, clearing his throat. There was that predatory instinct, niggling Kakashi to jump on him and go for the jugular. “I was wondering how to thank you, and I thought I could, maybe…make you dinner?” he finished weakly, glancing up at Kakashi from beneath thick lashes, then looking away again, suddenly shy. “I’m pretty good in the kitchen, so, if there’s anything you’d like…”

“Tacos,” Kakashi said instantly.

“…Oh.” Iruka deflated, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face. “Tacos. Really? I was hoping for something a bit more…challenging. Something that would allow me to show off my culinary skills a bit. But, I mean, if that’s what you want-”

“I like miso soup,” Kakashi said after a moment. “With eggplant.” Screw tacos. He could have tacos any day of the week. He’d take a bowl of cold cereal if it meant getting to spend the evening with this full-course meal.

Iruka lit up, his smile warm and inviting.

“Miso soup it is, then. I’ll have it done by tonight and bring it over. Does that sound alright?”

“Sure.” Kakashi waved as Iruka walked off down the hall, then slipped back inside and closed the door. He brought the hoodie up to his nose and inhaled the comforting scent of lavender, thinking how differently last night would have gone had he not grabbed the hoodie. What he would have missed out on. Fate, it seemed, really did exist.

Hopefully he’d be seeing more of Iruka…in more ways than one.

-End-

Months ago, I was chosen as a pinch-hitter for the Kakairuzine (I would step in if someone had to leave), so I completed two fics just in case they were needed. Since it wasn’t, I’m posting it here. Enjoy!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #431-432

two biggins’ in one, beware the long post.

Do you own any Funko Pop! figurines? No. How many cats and dogs have you had as pets in your lifetime? I couldn't possibly count the cats. A lot. We've had I wanna say eight dogs through my entire life. Can your mom and/or dad play any instruments, or how about anyone else in your family? No. My older sister played the clarinet in school, though. Have you ever colored in an adult coloring book as a stress reliever? I have, but they don't really affect my stress level. Can you crack crab legs without a tool? UGH EW I hate crab legs. So mushy and just... ew. I don't think I've tried to without a tool. How many light sources are in the room you’re in? Excluding the natural light out my windows, three. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Just your usual cream cheese. Who’s your favorite director? Tim Burton. I love his style. Bats: cute or gross? Bats are SO goddamn cute. What was the last really intense pain you felt? I had a sudden pain in my chest the other day that scared me quite a bit. Would you rather vacation by a beach or a lake? A lake, for sure. How would you feel about traveling abroad alone? I'd be way too lonely. What is your father's middle name? John. Where did your last kiss take place? The airport. Which movie villain do you find the most terrifying? Probably Jason. A masked guy just casually pursuing you with a knife is horrifying to me. If you married your favorite celebrity what would your last name be? Fischbach alskdfla;wer;lkwera;wle Do you stick your tongue out often in pictures? No. Which one of your family members are you closest to? My ma. Would you rather have name brand shoes or name brand clothes? Shoes. It's very important for them to be comfy for me. Are you a good liar? Yes. :x Are you proud of your parents? Yeah. If you could get backstage tickets to ANY concert - which would you pick? If Mom was with me, Metallica. She would actually fucking die if she met them. Like she cried and laughed with joy when she found out about the concert in Raleigh some years ago, and we thought we were going to go, but yeah, money. Which is better: orange or grape soda? Orange cream soda. Grape soda is so gross. Was the last thing you ate hot or cold? It was room temperature. Who was the last person in your house who isn’t family? Our landlord/family friend. I think. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Can you remember the last song you listened to? I'm listening to "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White right now. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? Ha, that is a colossal understatement... Can you do a back flip, or anything else of that sort? Definitely not. I couldn't even do stuff like that as a kid. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? ^ Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer, for sure. Do you have a job, and if so, where do you work? No. If not, do you want one? Not right now. I want to focus on the gym and getting in shape. Do any medical afflictions run in your family? A whole lot. What’s your favorite Mexican dish? Shrimp quesadillas. Or rice with cheese sauce. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yeah, hockey and baseball. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? I'm actually conflicted on this right now. I use tampons, but there are reasons I don't really like them and am considering something else. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Not me myself, but Mom has. What months were you and your siblings born in? My two immediate sisters were born in April and June. What did you have for dinner last night? Uhhhhh... I want to say I had a chicken pesto bowl? Have you ever had sex in/on a vehicle? No, that sounds so uncomfortable. Do you do anything to groom your eyebrows? No. I don't care about that anymore. Has your town ever flooded? Oh, for sure. Hurricane Floyd from when I was... I wanna say two or three WRECKED my area. Have you ever played at the McDonald’s play place? Yeah. That was a blast as a kiddo. Have you ever taken a picture of snow? Yeah. Do you cry easily? Very. Are you happy with where you live? No. The suburbs suck. I miss living in the country so much. Do people ever mistake you for being a different race? No. Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, she's my best friend in the whole world. What genre is your favorite movie? I actually don't know what it's considered? It's a kids movie, though. Who was the last person you were in a car with? My mom. Do you like the picture on your license/I.D. card? My permit picture is fucking hideous. When was the last time somebody hit on you? *shrug* Was the last person you met a male or female? A guy - my personal trainer. What brand is your underwear? I'm in my pjs, and only a madman would wear underwear to bed. What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food? Just the rolls, really, lol. I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving foods at all. Do you have a TV in your room? No, because I don't watch TV. Are any of your electronics charging right now? My laptop always is, though I know you shouldn't do that. I need to charge my phone, too. What was the last video game you played? Video game, not computer, I want to say uh... The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon? What’s the biggest promise someone’s ever made to you? Did they keep it? To never leave me. He didn't. Google, Bing, or Yahoo? Google. What was the last song you had on repeat? The song I mentioned earlier. Who is your favorite person to watch on YouTube? Markiplier. :') How many college degrees do you want? It'd be nice to have a Bachelor's in SOMETHING, but I'm not returning to school. Three tries was enough money down the drain. Can you wink? Yeah. Do you own any jerseys? No. Have you ever tried to snort Pixie Stix as a child, or even an adult? Uh, no. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? No. The last time Jason and I hung out in any capacity was his brother's wife's baby shower, and it's a bad memory. As well, it just reminds me of what I once wanted with him. I'll go to them and be okay, but definitely not thrilled. Has there ever been a time in your life, you felt sexually undecided? Yes, especially in the I want to say 8th grade. I had an inescapable crisis that literally lasted a whole week (or maybe more) forcing myself to believe I was straight, despite already showing but denying bisexual attractions. I was religious back then, so believed if I wasn't straight, I'd go to Hell. Then I came out as bisexual in uhhhh... 2018 I wanna say, and that was a long examination of my feelings. It felt like a massive weight off my shoulders when I accepted it. I felt legit happy. Do you think tattoos and piercings are sexy on the opposite sex? ugggghhhhh yes Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? No. What color are the headphones you have at this moment in time? My earbuds are pink and white. Ever choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, for sure. My fave is strawberries. What would you say is the color of your favorite bra? I have a pink and black lacy one that is super cute, but it's too small for me right now. It just stays in my drawer. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No. What do you usually buy when you go to the dollar store? If I'm stopping there for a snack (which is usually the only time we stop by one), I tend to get a honeybun. Ever peed in the pool? Be honest! No, that is so gross. When you’re older, what kind of house do you want to live in? I want a medium-sized house that's semi-isolated in the woods. I'd love a nice path to walk down and take photos, a catio for Roman or whatever cat I may have in the future... stuff like that. I need lots of nature. Where do you want to get married? In some sort of gothic building, though I'm sure that would be a WILDLY expensive venue, so I doubt that'll happen. Realistically, either in the woods or even a massive flower garden. Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? Yes. What is your favorite childhood TV show? Pokemon. Honestly, do you like school? No, I didn't. Last thing that made you cry? PTSD. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now? No big secrets, no. Last person you took a walk with? Sara, years ago. Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? Oh, have I... Who was the last person to actually pick you up in the air? Probably Jason, honestly. Does any part of your body hurt? My non-existent abs are killing me from exercising yesterday. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a regret what would you do? While it's tempting, hand me the cash. Can you keep a secret? Absolutely. You tell me a secret, you can guarantee I'll be keeping it between you and me. Your favorite romantic movie? The Notebook. How do you feel about Valentine’s Day? I honestly like it. I love the aesthetic of it, and I know people say "well you should celebrate love every day," and while that's right, what's so wrong about nationally designating a specific day to appreciate it? I think it's a very cute holiday. Who was the last person you took a picture with? My sister Katie. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I haven't worn jeans in yeeeeaaaarrrrssss. When I did though, I loved jeans like that, especially for skinny jeans. Do you celebrate 420?No. Have you ever kicked a vending machine? No. How do you eat Oreos? I prefer to just dip them in milk. If that's unavailable, I separate the two parts, eat the cream, and then the two cookies. Do you wear your shoes in the house? No. Would you survive in prison? Absofuckinglutely not. It's dark, but just to be entirely honest, I'd probably find a way to kill myself. Ever been to Georgia? I've been through it. Do you get your hair cut every month? Not every month, no. It needs a trim right now badly, though.

Current relationship in detail. I'm single and should be. If you were kicked out of your house, who would you call/go to? My dad. List things you spend money on in an average week. Nothing. Rate each of your sexual partners (if any) from 1-10. He was honestly a 10 lmao like I don't have a lot of experience at all, but yeah. Post the last FB group/page that you joined. I actually don't remember because I've been on break from Facebook for around a month. Would you parents be mad if you were in a relationship? No... Think of the last person you had sex with. Do you think they’ve slept with anyone else since they last slept with you? I'm sure he has. He dated someone right after me for like... eight months or something? Is there someone that you believe you will always be attached to? I think that's very obvious by now. What board games are you good at? Idk, I don't really enjoy board games. Is there a sport/hobby you keep thinking about taking up, but that you’ve never quite gotten around to starting? Definitely no sports, but I've been wanting to get back into video editing. I just... haven't, even though I have the software. Do you think pranks like egging/toilet-papering someone's house are funny or immature? They're incredibly immature. I see zero humor in them. Do you think “sleeve tattoos” are a good idea? They're hot as fuck, man. Is there anything in particular that your parents argue about? What? I'll just say they're divorced for good reasons. Do you ever actually read the “Terms and Services” when you sign up for websites and such? No. If you have a handheld games console (a DS or GameBoy, for example), how often do you use it? Almost never. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, what do you say? Realistically, I wouldn't answer because I don't answer numbers I don't recognize. Hypothetically, if I knew it was him, I'd probably say something along the lines of, "Hey J, are you okay?", because something must be seriously wrong if he wants to talk to me of all people. If your best friend was kicked out, would your parents let him/her live with you? Mom absolutely would. Are you afraid of falling in love? I'm terrified of it. Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? I wish I didn't. Have you ever kissed someone & wished you didn’t? Yes: Tyler. Did you get kissed last night? Haven't been kissed in years. Do you enjoy going through a carwash? Bring out the rainbow soap and it's hype lmao. How did you get most of your scars? My cat, ha ha. He sometimes plays way too rough, and I just scar very easily. Ever had to take an inkblot test? Yes, when I went to a psychologist. Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn’t do? Maybe? Have you ever seriously slapped someone in anger? My sister as a kid on her arm. Safe to say I got in trouble for it. What/who woke you up this morning? Just my body. Who was the last person to be in your bedroom besides you? Mom. What’s one of your locked text messages? da;lsd;fakwer I have one locked from Sara that says something like, "You are so beautiful." I cried. Have you ever finished a game of Monopoly? I think? Jason and I used to play the digital one you could download on the PS3. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. I mean, I know of a girl who went to my school who was paralyzed from the waist down in an accident, but I didn't/don't know her personally. She was a MASSIVE deal in my education community. Like you would see "prayers for (name)" on school and church signs. The truth all comes out when someone is drunk, true? Usually true. I sometimes think back on the one time Jason was drunk, and he just told me in the most adoring voice, "I love you, Brittany." It's painful as fuck to remember. I really do wonder if he meant it, given this was in the later half of our relationship. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? Constantly. How about feeling disappointed in someone else? I dunno. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? I definitely experience envy more often. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Do you have any specific chores you do around the house? I'm supposed to empty the dishwasher in particular. For you, does comfort or fashion come first in dressing? Comfort, 100%. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? No. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I do. That sounds pretty good right about now. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? Electric. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Yeah, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Yeah, at SeaWorld as a kid. Did you ever have one of those Easy Bake ovens as a kid? Yeah. My little sister in particular was obsessed. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. From inside of your house, how many doors lead outside? Two. Are there a lot of trees in your yard? No. :/ I miss that. Have you ever liked someone that treated you like crap? No. Have a best friend? Yeah. :') Does it bother you when your best friend does stuff without you? That is so childish. Everyone needs space sometimes. But to answer the question, considering she lives many states away from me, obviously not. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? Yes. Does anyone hate you? I wouldn't at all be surprised if Jason does. Colleen might, but I really don't give a shit if she does. What’s the one thing you regret more than anything? The way I spoke to Jason after the breakup. If only I could take those letters back. Do you remember important dates? I am VERY bad at dates, doesn't matter how important they are. What’s some lyrics from a song that means a lot to you? "For such a little thing, you sure are in your own way" from a Mother Mother song. Who gives the best advice? Sara. Who do you usually see in your dreams? :) Jason is nearly a permanent fixture. Jeez, I'm bringing him up a lot in this one. I'm surprised my PTSD isn't dragging me into a pit for it. What type of cake did you last eat? Uhhh I wanna say double chocolate? Mom got two slices from the store for me and herself a long time ago. How many of your friends are gay or bisexual? A large number. I don't feel like counting. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Just your usual peanut butter and jelly. When was the last time someone asked you out? Did you accept or decline? Years ago by Girt. I accepted. Do you like The Offspring? Sure, I like a handful of their songs. One pillow or two? I sleep with two. Do you like Mad Libs? Sure, they can be funny. Are you suicidal? Well damn, just throw that in there. Anyway, no. I'll admit I've had very brief, passive thoughts very rarely as of the late, just wondering if there really is a point to me being here, but I'm not actively suicidal at all rn. Where do your grandparents live? They're dead. When alive though, they lived in Florida and Michigan. Do you cut yourself? And this one? No, I haven't in many years. What is your pet’s name? Roman and Venus. Have you ever been to Canada? No, but I'd love to visit. Aren’t babies overrated? "Overrated" is definitely the wrong word... I don't particularly find a lot of babies cute and I don't want my own, but they're not overrated. Have a built-in pool in your backyard? Never have. Ever won yourself a stuffed animal? Yeah. Ever had someone else win you a stuffed animal? Yes. Ever been to a circus? No. I wouldn't set foot into one. Ever shot animals? I never, ever could. Do you consider yourself intelligent? I USED to. I think I'm dumb as shit now. School knowledge did not latch onto me well, I guess. Have you ever run away from home? Yes. It was so overdramatic. I came back hours later because I had my phone and Mom texted me threatening to call the cops. Do you put family first, friends, relationships, school, or something else? I will never put my mental health behind anything/one again. What’s something you’ve stood up for in the past? When Colleen and I were friends in middle school, we both spoke before the class in absolute disgust at how our classmates were treating our poor substitute teacher. Colleen had AT them, while I was more tame about it but still wanted to bash into their heads that they were all being absolute trash to the poor man. What’s something you worked extremely hard to get? My mental wellbeing. Granted, I'm not exactly "well" now, but once upon a time I was living in the deepest ocean trench as far as depression goes. Are you satisfied with your body image? Hell no. I really, really, really hope loyally going to the gym will help me with that. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I know of. Have you ever seriously taken advantage of someone or been taken advantage of? No. Have you ever been seriously ill? Mentally, immensely. Physically, not really. I've had some nasty stomach bugs, but nothing truly severe. Have you ever befriended a former enemy? Ha, it's funny, I used to hate Jason's first ex/heartbreak for how badly she hurt him. Like she could've been falling off the face of the earth with only me to save her, and I'd let her keep falling. I hated her. Yet now we're Facebook friends and comment on each other's stuff like it's nothing, ha ha. She reached out to me a few years ago to apologize for high school stuff (she also hated me for Juan - her ex or something along those lines - being interested in me instead of her), we chatted a bit, and now I think she's great. If you’re not religious, would you ever pray as a last resort? If you are religious, do you often pray for other people? I don't pray anymore. That's all I'll say to keep this from becoming potentially very offensive. Have you ever dated someone, then after you dated they came out of the closet or switched (for lack of a better word) sexual orientation? I'm pretty sure my middle school boyfriend Aaron is gay, but I'm not certain. He vanished from Facebook a long time ago. Has a boy/girl ever walked a ridiculous distance just to see you? How about vice versa? I tried doing that the night of the breakup. By car, I know it was a seven-minute drive, but walking there, never mind at night, was ludicrous. I only didn't manage because after a few minutes, Mom came after me and kept cutting me off with the car. When was the last time you felt really uncomfortable? Right now. My abs REALLY hurt, and I'm also cramping like a motherfucker after not having a period for 3+ months because of TMS therapy. I'm still pissed about how it had a physical effect on me, but didn't mentally do what it was meant to. Is there anything that your mom is really known for as to how she is as a person? She is very, very loving and lives to help others. Who have you been talking to the most today? Nobody, really. I've spoken with Mom obviously, but for the most part, today's been quiet. Are you nosy? I can be pretty damn nosy, yes. What’s the meanest thing you have done to a friend? Consistently flirted with her boyfriend behind her back. I was 12, okay? If your ex called you crying, what would it most likely be about? THE ex, I have no idea. I don't know what's going on in his life, besides his mother dying quite a few months ago, but I don't see why he'd contact me about that. Who was the best kisser out of all the people you have kissed? Jason. Have you ever been told that you have an annoying laugh? No, but I think I do.

[sinsdaycorp]

Would u be willing to list below some of the avalance fanfics?

Sorry that it’s taken me so long to answer this, I haven’t been on a laptop in a long time so I haven’t had a chance to really look at my inbox… 

So, this has also given me a good reason to go through my bookmarks and reread some Avalance (:

Hope these recs are good!!

– –

Forever with No matter where you are (I’ll be there) - moonlitprincess

“She remembers the day Sara changed her name in Ava’s phone, remembers the way the late morning sunlight had streamed in through the windows and fallen on Sara’s bare back so that her skin was warm to the touch, remembered the way the sheets had bunched at Sara’s hips as she lay on her stomach, Ava’s phone in her hand and scrolling through contacts until she reached her own name.

“What are you doing?” Ava murmured, reaching out to trail her fingers lightly over Sara’s spine.

“Changing my name on your phone,” said Sara, locking the phone and tossing it back onto the pillow between them. “I’m now your little bird.”

Ava chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to Sara’s shoulder. “Why?”

“So if either of us ever get caught, you won’t get implicated as being associated with Sara Lance.””

OR

an avalance ocean’s 8 au.

– – 

Guns hidden under our petticoats - plinys.

Ava is certain that this is a joke, and if not, the worst possible assignment the Time Bureau has ever given out. The assignment of monitoring Sara Lance - future threat to all of time and history, and currently Starling City’s very own Black Canary - certainly isn’t what she had been hoping for when she’d been promoted, but Ava’s determined to stick to the non-interference rules and make the most of it. Though Sara has been known to throw a wrench into many people’s carefully made plans.

– –

A million miles away - plinys.

Sara upgrades her phone to the latest OS - meant to be innovative enough to seem nearly human - and finds herself falling for the voice that’s always in her ear.

(A Her. AU)

– –

Forever with your hands in my pockets - plinys.

“If only there was something I could do to help my grade,” Sara says, her voice sugary sweet, “I’d do just about anything?”

“Well, you could start by doing your homework.”

(Or: Sara’s five step plan to seduce her political statistics TA into giving her a good grade.)

– –

Summer slipped us underneath her tongue - plinys

“Wait, you didn’t think that I wore my Bureau suit around the house, did you?”

– –

Silence - plinys.

“We should play a game,” Sara insists.

“How about the silent game,” Ava suggests.

– –

BASICALLY ANYTHING BY PLINYS!!! 

– –

Don’t you like you, cause I like you - CoffeeAndArrows, moonlitprincess

But before Ava can turn to run away from the door, it swings open to reveal Sara Lance standing in front of her. Her hair is bundled into a messy bun on the top of her head, two stray strands framing the sides of her face. She’s wearing a SCHS soccer hoodie and skin tight shorts that only come halfway down her thighs, revealing muscly, freckled legs that Ava has to work very hard not to look at. Her feet are adorned with grey fluffy socks which Ava is avoiding calling adorable in her head in fear of starting to associate Sara with any word remotely cutesy and affectionate.

Sara’s expression is genuinely surprised for several moments, eyes wide and startling blue. Her lack of makeup and the dim, golden light of the corridor highlight the freckles that are littered across her face.

Her eyelashes are really blonde, thinks Ava. How did I never know her eyelashes were blonde?

OR

a high school au in which sara and ava have been each other’s arch nemesis since freshman year, but when ava’s parents react badly to her coming out, it’s sara’s doorstep that ava shows up on when she doesn’t know what to do.

– –

The day before you came - Phoebmonster

“So, the brief is …” She tapped her fingers on the wheel. “Make your Mom believe you’re really gay and give you some peace and quiet next year.”

Ava nodded, and Sara grinned.

“Right, I can do that.” She said, more to herself than anything.

aka the ‘i’ve hired you to pretend to be my partner to annoy my family at christmas but i think i’m really falling for you’ AU that Absolutely no one asked for.

– –

Cause I see sparks fly (whenever you smile) - mrsavalance.

“Excuse me, one of the flight attendants said that this seat was still free. Is that correct?” You are frozen in place when you find Sara Lance staring at you with those piercing blue eyes. You cannot help but stare at them. They seem to appear to be even bluer now that she is standing right in front of you, than they are on screen. You quickly avert your gaze to the empty seat next to you, which you had placed your bag upon as soon as you figured out that no one was going to sit there, and if she noticed you staring, she doesn’t comment on it at all, which you are immensely grateful for.

or

The Avalance celebrity au, nobody asked for.

– –

i just wanna spend the nights with you - moonlitprincess.

based on a tumblr ask: “i had been on a few casual dates with this girl and we went back to my place yesterday and we were gonna y’know…fuck for the first time. anyway she takes off her shirt and it turns out she has a six pack (an honest to god could grate cheese on it six pack) and i was so surprised/turned on that i couldn’t breathe and passed out, hit my head and she had to drive me to the er. i have 4 stitches. she’s probably never gonna call me again lmao”

OR

college au where ava is only MILDLY crushing on campus heartthrob sara lance and can totally 100% be chill with a casual hookup … until she realises sara has abs. (ft. our favourite ladies being useless gay disasters & plenty of unexpected feelings)

– –

The One With the Bet - WardenRoot.

Ava loses a bet to Sara, the terms of which states that the loser has to do whatever the winner says

– –

Scars - WardenRoot.

Ava sees Sara’s scars for the first time

– –

What if I’n weak and I need you tonight - WardenRoot.

Ava finds Sara crying in her room after a not so successful mission and tries to comfort her.

– –

Will You Be My (Fake) Wife? - WardenRoot.

“So what you need from us is a date?”“A fake spouse, yes.”

When an object from the future gets displaced, Ava needs the help of the Legends to go undercover and retrieve it

– –

So, I guess I’m trying to say, anything by WardenRoot also? 

– –

Sweet Girl - TML9115

Sara is turned into a five year old. The legends with the help of Gary convince Ava to watch her.

– –

More than a Clone - StoryChanger

Ava is attacked in her own apartment and barely escapes to the Waverider. Sara and her team work together to figure out why she was attacked and discover that someone close to Ava maybe a traitor.

– – 

The Holiday Party - ffgirl21

In a last ditch effort to help Sara get over her recent breakup, Laurel drags Sara to her law firm’s Thanksgiving party where she runs into Ava Sharpe, a corporate lawyer at Laurel’s firm.

– – 

Nailing The Canary - notthegoblin

Ava Sharpe is a spy tasked with capturing the elusive Canary. Can she keep focused on her mission when Sara Lance catches her eye?

– –

A Special Kind of Real Fake Love - karadanverz

In order to catch a time-traveler that’s trying to erase the Time Bureau from existence, Ava and Sara must go undercover at a couples retreat for a week so that they can catch him.

– –

Camp Waverider - Notabeautifullittlefool

The summer camp AU that I was literally the only one to ask for.

– –

all these roads lead back to you - Phoebmonster

She could feel it now, something that wasn’t there before, clear and mysterious like the pools of water in the caves, sat at the edge of her mind. If she just reached out -

(An artefact gives Sara and Ava the ability to read eachother’s minds. it goes about as well as you would expect.)

– –

So, I went through all my bookmarks and took out a lot of options from this list because they weren’t all complete. 

I hope you enjoy these fics, because I surely did! 

Also, if you have a twitter, there’s A LOT of SMAU’s on there that have me in stitches.

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1124792102557290498?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/saviourxsara/status/1111513658209624065?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/katlikescats_/status/1122598940162052097?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/Iegendsofau/status/1038175307839225856?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/plinys/status/1079173574781530114?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/katlikescats_/status/1080932001941766144?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/mrsavalance/status/1092893264473194498?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1080450697915781120?s=20

– –

https://twitter.com/jesmacalIans/status/1088810889632010240?s=20

– –

Hope you enjoy each and every one of these as much as I did. 

[centrally-unplanned]

(This is a silly one)

Rent-a-Girlfriend, a decently-popular anime airing this season, may have made me realize something I think I have always misunderstood about certain entries in the rom-com anime genre. Rent-a-Girlfriend, to be clear, is a cursed show that assaults my dignity and masculinity with every ~12 frames a second it airs. I am not above a show like this at all! I watch all sorts of crap including occasional fanservice cheese, and you know the show has some positive elements. The past ~3 years have seen some anime finally shedding the industry’s policy of treating sex like a 5th grade health class does, and actually having rom-coms acknowledge that some people??? have sex??? when dating??? has boosted the, ahem, ‘maturity’ of the genre. It might just be a prong in Shinzo Abe’s society-wide strategy to boost Japan’s birthrate, but if that results in the main character of Rent-a-Girlfriend masturbating to thoughts of his ex ~30 seconds into the show to communicate his sexual desperation, ‘cause that is what happens folks, it is at least refreshing enough for me to throw the LDP a ballot sweep for their efforts. 

Similar honesty applies to the show’s premise, that of a lonely virgin renting a girlfriend and the hijinks that ensue, where while not a sex worker the transactional nature of the female protagonist’s job is in fact fully on display - no “I truly love all my clients” saccharine coating to glue your palm perpetually to your forehead. As a dumb rom-com fanservice show its frankness can be fun.

That frankness is also its downfall, however, in that they are painfully transparent in how pathetic and irredeemable the main character of the show is (I do not remember his name and do not care). He is a straight up incel, perpetually, and I mean mentioning-it-every-30-seconds-perpetually, lamenting his virginity and remarking on how its presence has invalidated every possibility in his life. Sex, and its pursuit, are his only hobbies (besides liking fish, YEAH I GET IT SHOW). He has never once had an interaction with a character that isn’t cringe, from flailing to put together basic sentences to misunderstanding elementary social cues, and of course the casual sexual harassment is par for the genre. 

No one should associate with him in-universe of course, but in particular I do not get how anyone in the audience could either. He is not the first character in a rom-com to be an unceasing flood of terribleness, and the argument is always that these characters are “self-inserts” and relatable to the NEET-esque audience. But I have never understood this - the vast majority of people, even the depressed & anxious like myself, see *some* redeeming value in ourselves. For the marginal it is our inability to slot those qualities into society in a way that is acknowledged that renders us useless. The average anime viewer is not so far gone as to see this as relatable, right? And yet they do - I checked Reddit, I checked MAL, and the sentiment is all over (many disagree of course, but still). I even checked the manga to see how it was adapted (my free time is not precious, as we established) and its actually played-up in the anime! He still sucks in the manga but he at least has a baseline of sanity to him. 

(Some of this has to do with the “gutter effect” in comics where the limited panels asks you to implicitly accept that you are only seeing glimpses of what actually transpires, normally the most extreme glimpses, and so they can string together panels of awkwardness and your mind fills in “normality” between them, reducing the MC’s extremity in the mind, unlike an anime where the in-between moments are explicitly shown.)

I get it, people are different, cultural gaps exist, the audience is ~15, yadda yadda. But I still felt like I was missing some extra ~20% of the explanation. Then I remembered some old advice, from a sensei lost to time - to understand anime, you need to watch it with your dick in your hand.

So I di- nope, not even gonna attempt to crack that joke. But I realized I needed to stop treating these shows like *shows*, they are *porn*, specifically fetish porn. In say a Femdom video the, uh, “main character” is exactly as pathetic, terrible, and worthless as those anime MC’s - but you would never complain that that was “unrealistic”, that concept exists in porn but its warped beyond recognition. For a subby guy or gal watching femdom, being useless is the point, for a lot of reasons (kink is complicated) but a primary one being that the useless, useless guy is going to get sex anyway. In a way that is “believable”, at least by the weird standards of a sex drive, but being garbage and still getting sex is the entire fantasy. You can’t self-insert into that as a whole person, but your sex drive (hypothetically) can. And weebs, as 10 seconds perusing memes will tell you, are drowning in dirty, disgusting subs.

Rent-a-Girlfriend may go on way longer than I think porn should, but hell porn always does, clearly long-form porn is just some people’s jam. The show even makes the kink explicit - alongside that opening masturbation shot is an actual cuck joke as the main character remarks that thinking of his ex fucking her new boyfriend turns him on! A callback to that joke later in the show is what made me realize this - if you understand the fetish comes first, then the main character being that pathetic is not just good, but sort-of how the show tells you the fetish its going for, and how you should watch it. The other entries into this genre all build on the same fetish appeal. Not so explicitly as porn, of course, but still, if its what you want you will find it.

But its pretty explicit, let’s be clear - the main rent-a-girl, who due to ~hijinks~ he is consistently interacting with, in between being nice is hammering him for the pathetic, worthless excuse of a person he is as she takes his money. She needs to be charging *waaay* more than ~$50 dollars a date for that quality of a performance.

[heroloverangel]

Anatomy Lesson

Helping UA’s top student with his homework should be fun, right?

“Alright, what’s this one?”

“The, uh...the belly muscle?”

You groan, throwing your head back in exasperation. “Come on, Togata. We just went over this. It’s the diaphragm.” It’s no secret that Mirio’s grades are awful, and as class representative it feels like your duty to help him study. You’d foolishly assumed you could bring him up to speed in his classes, but you’ve been sitting in his room for over an hour now and it’s like you’re trying to tutor a brick wall with your anatomy notes.

He laughs it off despite your agitation. “Sorry. I’m just not really good with subjects that aren’t tied to hero work.” That’s an understatement; he’s in real danger of having his internship suspended if he doesn’t improve.

“I know, and I’m trying to help you. But you have to focus, okay?” He shoots you a thumbs up and to your delight, actually manages to stay on task for a solid twenty minutes without getting distracted. You still have a lot of work to do with his assignments, but you feel much more confident about it now.

You take a quick break to stretch and arch your back. You unintentionally push your chest forward and catch him staring, and you feel heat rising to your cheeks.  You’ve always thought Togata was cute; his friendly face and warm personality are a fantastic combination and the fact that you could use his abs as a cheese grater doesn’t hurt either. On his part, he’s about as subtle with his emotions as a punch to the gut. You’ve seen him accidentally knock Tamaki down a flight of stairs in a rush to offer to share an umbrella. It’s impossible to miss the clear interest he’s showing and you can’t resist teasing him a bit.

“See something you like, Lemillion?” He laughs sheepishly and looks away, concentrating on the book in his lap a little too hard to be convincing.

“Just resting my eyes!” He gives you that bright grin again and you drop the subject. “You’re a super good tutor, I bet I’ll start getting the top scores in the class after all your help!” Mirio flips the textbook forward several chapters to a random page. “Now, let’s get back to work and look at the--oh god.” You look down, curious about what’s shaken him up so much, and you’re greeted by an extremely detailed, graphic drawing of an erect penis. Honestly, it’s almost pornographic and for a second you wonder if Midnight was the one who ordered these books.

This is going to be awkward, but you’ll muscle through it. “Alright. Well, you’ve got the head here, and you can see that the foreskin-”

“We don’t have to do this!” He blurts it out, voice pitched higher with embarrassment. “I mean, I already know enough about my willy! So really, we don’t need to spend any time talking about it!” You’ve never seen him blush this hard before, and you’d be lying if you said you don’t like it. He quicky flips the page in a desperate hope of ending the uncomfortable moment and is tragically denied.

You should have known what the next heading in the book would be. Mirio lets out a defeated whine as the two of you are faced with, of course, an equally graphic picture of a vagina. “I suppose you know enough about this one too, huh?”

He looks straight at the wall, the floor, out the window, anywhere but at you. “Um. Not as much,” he admits hoarsely.

You’re enjoying the sight of him squirming way too much. “Tell me about this part.”

“That’s...that is...it’s the, you know...the clit.” He mumbles every word as if he’s being forced to say it at gunpoint.

“And what is it for?”

“...S-sexual pleasure,” His eyes are screwed shut, refusing to even look in your direction. You’re pretty sure he’s on the verge of just phasing through the floor to escape.

You point towards another sketch on the page, your hand accidentally brushing against his. It’s like he snaps out of a trance and freaks, throwing the book to the floor like it’s covered in spiders. “Haha, well I think that’s enough studying for tonight!”

There’s been a very unheroic idea forming in your mind over the past few minutes and you decide to throw caution out the window. “Not yet. I know you worked hard tonight, but I don’t think you quite get it yet.” He looks at you in confusion and you adjust your position on the bed, moving to sit up on your knees in front of him. “I think you might need a more...personal demonstration of that last one.”

Mirio’s eyes flash with realization just as your fingers slip beneath your skirt to your hips. “Hey, what are you--oh.” He watches you slide your panties down your legs and carefully kick them off without revealing yourself. He swallows and forces himself to look only at your face. “Wait, seriously?” You offer him a reassuring smile and sit back on your ass, slowly opening your thighs to offer him a view of your pussy.

You knew he’d be interested, but you weren’t expected the unwavering focus he’s suddenly directing between your legs. “This is still a lesson, Togata,” you remind him playfully. “I expect your full attention here.”

“Sure thing, sensei!” He scoots closer to you on the bed and reaches a hand out before stopping himself. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

It feels like the room gets 100 degrees hotter but you nod before you have a chance to second-guess yourself. His eyes watch you like a hawk as your hand slips down to spread open your folds, giving him a clear invitation to continue. He licks his lips subconsciously and your breath catches in your throat as his fingers lightly trace over your cunt, much more gentle than you’d expect him to be capable of. Your eyes slip closed while he teases you like this, letting out a shaky moan as he circles your clit for a few seconds before withdrawing. You’re getting wet the more he touches you, and it’s almost a welcome relief when you feel one of his big fingers probe at your entrance.

“Ahh, Mirio,” you gasp out and he stops. You open your eyes out of curiosity and find him debating something with himself for a moment before he suddenly grabs you by the hips and hauls you onto his lap.

“I wanna get it right,” he explains and tugs at your clothes. “I’ve been wanting to do...well, all of this with you for so long.” Your shirt’s being yanked off before you can object and he pulls you in for a deep kiss that leaves you breathless. How are you supposed to argue with such a heartfelt confession? You kiss him again, letting his tongue slide into your mouth at the same time you feel him lifting your skirt to bunch uselessly around your waist. His fingers resume their teasing, one of them slipping fully into your waiting body without hesitation. “You’re so soft,” he smiles at you affectionately as he works you over.

You occupy yourself with his own clothes, pulling at his shirt until you get it open and can run your hands along his sculpted chest. Mirio presses another finger into your pussy and you burrow your face in his neck to hide your whimper. He pumps them inside you, relishing the little sounds he drags out of your lips. “You’re really cute,” he says, voice nice and husky with arousal for you. “Come on,” he pulls you back with his other hand. “Let me hear you.” His thumb brushes against your clit and you cry out for him and squirm on his lap. “You like that, huh?”

“Y-yeah,” you pant out. “Just keep touching me like that. Please, Mirio.” Your hands roam over his muscular frame, one coming to rest on his abdomen and sliding down until you can feel the throb of his erection through his clothes. With unsteady fingers you manage to pull the zipper down and get a glimpse of him. The outline of his thick cock is obvious, straining eagery against his boxer-briefs and leaving a stain of precum on the fabric. “Oh, Togata. No wonder you’re failing, there’s no blood going to your brain.” He barks out a laugh at your joke that quickly morphs into a rough groan as you squeeze him over his underwear.

“Good thing I have you then, isn’t it?” He’s merciless on your clit, rubbing firm circles against your swollen bud, drawing more of those sweet little noises out of you that leave his dick aching for more. He pushes a third finger in easily, you’re already soaked and dripping down his palm. The added stretch is amazing and you can feel white-hot tension low in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment.

He’s watching the scene in front of him with clear delight; the sight of you riding his hand and knowing you’re loving every second of his attention might be the highlight of his life. “Don’t stop,” you beg mindlessly. “Just a little more, please. You feel so good, just like that. Mirio, I-” His mouth crashes down on yours again, wanting to savor your orgasm all to himself. He feels the way your muscles flutter invitingly around his fingers, milking them for more stimulation as you shudder through your climax.

You come back from your high to find your face resting against his firm pecs and his fingers motionless but still buried inside your sensitive cunt. He gives you a warm grin and flexes them teasingly before withdrawing, making a big show of lifting his hand to his mouth and happily licking up every drop of your juices. “Pervert,” you taunt, but there’s no anger in your words and you don’t object when hie grabs you around your hips and pulls you farther up on his broad thighs. 

“How far am I allowed to take this?” You can feel the heat radiating off his body, raw desire obvious in every toned muscle.

You chew your lip thoughtfully. “As far as you want,” you decide after a moment. In the blink of an eye he’s phased through his clothes and reformed under you before your legs can even hit the bed. It’s a bit difficult to wiggle out of your skirt without losing contact with him but you manage, and you’re even willing to ignore the sound of a strap being torn completely off your bra in his haste to free you from it. The two of you look each other over for a second, both feeling just a little awkward about progressing into actual sex and then-

“I like your nipples,” Mirio blurts out, destroying the tension immediately. You can’t help but burst into laughter at his outburst and guide one of his warm hands up to grope your chest. Mood restored, there’s only excitement and butterflies in your stomach as you reach for his cock, standing ready and erect against your thigh. His free hand holds you hip to support you as you line him up and slowly sink down onto him. You give yourself a minute to take a breath and adjust to his size, sighing at just how full you feel, with him buried to the hilt in your pussy like this. He’s waiting for your permission, and there’s a spark of fire in his eyes when you begin to move.

You’ve barely managed to set a rhythm before he takes over, not so subtly demanding more from you. Strong hands grip onto your ass, working you up and down his dick with little effort on your part. You reach for his shoulders for support and find yourself fixating on the impressive arms caging around you. You watch the thick muscles of his biceps flex with every move, coupled with the feel of his strong thighs catching you every time he drags you down to bottom out inside you, together has you seeing stars. Eventually you drag your focus up to his face and see he’s equally interested in the sight of your breasts jiggling with the force of his movements, meeting your gaze with an unashamed smirk. “You alright there? I’m not being too rough, am I?”

It’s sweet that he makes the effort to check on you, even in the heat of the moment. “You’re good. You’re--ah!” You’re interrupted by an especially energetic thrust, voice cracking into a jittery gasp. “Really, really good.”

His lips are on yours once again without a second thought. “I could kiss you forever,” he admits, surprisingly romantic as he angles you back a bit to get a better view of your dripping cunt taking him over and over. “God, you’re squeezing me so tight.” You can’t hide your moan, the tingle that goes through your spine at his comment. Mirio picks up on it immediately and can’t resist teasing you a bit. “You like that? Hearing how good you make me feel?” He brings a hand up to your face, lifts your chin to look at him. “Who knew you’re so cute when you get all blushy like this?” You wonder if he’s just trying to goad you into more kisses, but it proves to be a good way of shutting him up.

It’s hard to keep up with a man who has seemingly infinite stamina and it’s not long before it all threatens to overwhelm you. You slide a hand down between your bodies, intending to push yourself over the edge but he catches your wrist in a firm grip instead. “Hold on,” he warns, never slowing in his pace; his cock is rubbing against a sensitive spot inside you with every thrust and it’s driving you mad. “I’m getting really close, do you want me to pull out?”

You don’t even have a single brain cell left to waste on debating it. “It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

Mirio groans into your neck and releases your hand to wrap his arms tighter around you. “You’re so great,” he huffs out, lips trailing over your jaw like he’s addicted to the taste of your skin. He watches as you slip your fingers down to stroke your clit and between your movements and all his attention, it barely takes you a minute before you’re shivering with your climax. You’re hardly aware of the constant, steady rhythm of his thrusts growing increasingly sloppy; all you can focus on is how good he feels surrounding you, inside you, on the verge of filling you up and you love it. It takes you a second to realize he’s talking you through it, tone warm and rough as he mindlessly praises you. “So...so sweet, and pretty....smart and cute, nice and tight and wet for me…oh, shit...” 

His words devolve into a needy growl, hips stuttering wildly underneath you and it takes all the control he still has to stop himself from digging bruises into your body. He ruts up into you one last time, fast and hard and you can feel his dick twitch within you, spilling warm cum deep inside your cunt.

You stay like this for a minute or two, listening to each other’s breathing slow and calm down. You glance up at his face, a little worried this might be an awkward ending to your hands-on demonstration, but the moment you lock eyes you both burst out laughing. 

“That was fun,” you manage out through giggles. “I hope you learned something from that lesson.”

He nods, wide grin beaming on his face. “Class rep is a real pervert and likes it when I fill her up.”

You snort; it’s a good enough answer for tonight. Carefully you climb off him, your thighs aching from being spread open on his lap and your legs having a distinct jello-like feel to them. Mirio helps you gather your discarded clothes, apologizes sincerely for ruining your bra and promises to buy you a new one. You look around for your underwear, and to your surprise an arm snakes around your waist and your equally naked classmate hugs you against his chest.

“So…” He rests his head on your shoulder and you instinctively lean into him. “Are we dating now? I mean, do you wanna be my girlfriend?” He’s still smiling, but you can tell he’s serious. “I meant it earlier, about how long I wanted to do this. I don’t know if you noticed, I’m pretty sneaky about it, but I’ve kinda had a huge crush on you forever.”

“Never would have guessed,” you joke, tracing your fingers over his arm. “I’d like that-” You hold up a finger before he can celebrate. “-but you have to get your grades up and pass your classes, okay?”

Your new boyfriend agrees without a moment of hesitation. “I can totally do that! I’ll be the best student in the school in a week, just watch!” You admire his enthusiasm, getting caught up in his mood and find yourself pulled back into his bed before you have a chance to question it. “Can we study again? And hey, you should sleep over, that way we can have another lesson before class in the morning!”

You roll your eyes but your arms reach up to pull him on top of you. You’re not worried about his scores anymore, you know he’ll pull it off now that he’s properly motivated.

[caspianhayes]

                            CASPIAN ALEXANDER LEVI HAYES.

FULL NAME:  Caspian Alexander Levi Hayes. NICKNAMES(S):  Cas. AGE:  28. DATE OF BIRTH:  November 20th, 1991. PLACE OF BIRTH:  Chicago, Illinois. CURRENT LOCATION:  Red Ridge, Nevada. ETHNICITY:  White. GENDER:  Cis male. PRONOUNS:  He/him/his. SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Pansexual. ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  Panromantic. RELIGION:  Atheist, raised half Jewish, half nondenominational Christian. OCCUPATION:  Bartender at Violet. EDUCATION LEVEL:  Bachelor’s Degree in business from the University of California, Los Angeles. EXTRACURRICULAR:  Swimming, baseball. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:  Has a studio apartment near the north side of Red Ridge, lots of windows, usually relatively messy. SPEAKING VOICE AND ACCENT:  Speaks smoothly & calmly, a very standard midwestern accent that’s barely noticeable. It’s very easy to listen to him speak.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

FACECLAIM:  David Corenswet. HAIR COLOR AND STYLE:  Brown, curly, very well taken care of. It looks just as silky as it feels. Typically kept short, has grown out once in his life, and didn’t like the way it looked then. COMPLEXION:  Pale, warmer undertones. EYE COLOR:  Blue. EYESIGHT:  15/20 vision - what the average person sees from 15 feet away, Caspian can see from 20. He won’t be needing glasses anytime soon. HEIGHT:  6’3” WEIGHT:  174 lbs. BODY AND BUILD:  Muscular, but not as muscular as he used to be. He retains his biceps and pecs, but has given up on ab workouts, aside from the occasional one once in a blue moon. TATTOOS:   None, with no plans on getting any. PIERCINGS:  None, no plans on getting any. CLOTHING STYLE:  Cas’ wardrobe leans casual. Dark jeans and t-shirts are his everyday apparel. He only dresses more formal for work because he has to. When it’s cooler outside, he’ll go for a sweater before a sweatshirt. He still wears white Converse, has a beat up old leather jacket that he got in high school, and doesn’t like jewelry on his wrists or fingers.   DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS:  Almost unnaturally blue eyes, his dark curls, and a smile that lights up a room. A sniffle that’s almost always there. SIGNATURE SCENT:  Whiskey, leather, vanilla, and cashmere.

HEALTH.

MENTAL DISORDER(S):  Anxiety. Fear of abandonment and failure. ADHD. PHYSICAL DISORDER(S):  None. ALLERGIES:  None. SLEEPING HABITS:  Caspian has nightmares most nights. He doesn’t go to sleep until the sun starts to rise most mornings, thanks to the fact that Violet doesn’t close until well into the night and he has to stay after closing to help clean up before he goes home. It takes him a while to fall asleep,  but, once he does, he usually isn’t asleep very long. His nightmares startle him awake. It’s rare that he gets a total of six hours combined any given night. EATING HABITS:  He tries to take care of himself where he can in regards to his food. His breakfast most morning is a smoothie and some eggs, he’ll spend the extra money for organic fruits and vegetables. While he does take care of himself most of the time, there are those times where he sits down with a whole pizza and a pint of ice cream and finishes it all, though. When he’s high, he rarely eats, which is why breakfast is so important to him. SOCIABILITY:  He is an extrovert through and through. That’s part of the reason he thoroughly enjoys his time at the bar - socialization. He’s a very smooth talker and a very good listener, which is likely why people typically find it easy to trust him. The cocaine makes him even more sociable. BODY TEMPERATURE:  Naturally warmer, he gets cold very easily. That’s part of the reason he likes the desert so much. ADDICTIONS:  Cocaine. DRUG USE:  Frequently. At least once a day. ALCOHOL USE:  Semi-frequently. Likely drinks one glass of whiskey whenever he’s on shift, but otherwise rarely touches alcohol. Outside of work, when he does drink, it’s likely watching a football or baseball game.

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS:  Loyal, hardworking, charming, resourceful, charismatic. NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Anxious, sly, liar, secretive, stubborn. LIKES:  Cocaine. The Chicago Cubs, dogs, cashmere sweaters, traveling, warm weather, swimming pools. DISLIKES:  The cold, rough textured clothing, grating voices, loneliness, the sound of someone chewing with their mouth open. FEARS: Abandonment, loneliness, never being good enough. Failure. Death. HABITS:  Cocaine, cutting his nails frequently, smoothies with breakfast, fiddling with a necklace or other small things. ASTROLOGY:  Scorpio sun, Taurus moon, Scorpio rising. PERSONALITY TYPE:  ESFP. MORAL ALIGNMENT:  Chaotic neutral. HOGWARTS HOUSE:  Slytherin. ELEMENT:  Water. PRIMARY VICE:  Lust. PRIMARY VIRTUE:  Diligence. WEATHER: Sunny day, no clouds in the sky. Somehow, still a chance of rain. COLOR:  White and red // light blue. MUSIC:  Doesn’t listen to much music. MOVIE:  Inglourious Basterds (2009, dir. Quentin Tarantino). SPORT:  Baseball. BEVERAGE:  Kale and banana smoothie / Arnold Palmer. FOOD:  Scrambled eggs with cheese, broccoli, cupcakes, raspberries, peaches. ANIMAL:  Dogs of all varieties. SEASON:  Late spring, early summer.

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.

MOTHER:  Amy Hayes. FATHER:  Stephen Hayes. SIGNIFICANT OTHER:  None. SIBLING(S):  One older sibling, 33+. CHILDREN:  None. PET(S):  None.

PROMPT.

Routine.

Who would’ve thought that Cas would end up here, of all places? Certainly not his family, certainly not anyone from his past. He doubted that anyone actually needed a business degree to bartend at the Violet, or to bartend anywhere, really. He doubted that anyone would think to find him there, which was part of the reason he enjoyed being there in the first place. That was the point of running away from the past, no? To escape it? Nights at the Violet were indulgent, and that was Caspian’s favorite part of it all.

Indulgence. Sweet indulgence. To start his shift after a hit of the best coke he could get his hands on was a feeling of near-euphoria after a morning of restlessness and anxiety. He could feel that paranoia and constant worry wash away as he walked the length of the bar, ears tuned in to everything happening around him. That was the thing about Violet; people talked. And when people talked, Caspian heard. They may have thought that he wasn’t listening, that he was just there to do his job and go home. But that wasn’t the truth. He knew about the man at the third stool and how he’d been cheating on his wife for the past three months. He knew about the woman at the seventh who owed Valencia more money than she had in her bank account, and, despite that, continued to turn to Violet every night for the comfort of a glass of gin. He knew the high-rollers with their hands dirty, knew the secrets of the civilians who simply wanted to live life without Valencia’s influence, knew those who feared Rorschach and what his arrival may mean. And it was almost as euphoric to him as the coke was. Almost.

HEADCANONS.

He grew up in the shadow of his older sibling. He always hated it - always hated never feeling good enough for his parents. No matter what he did, it wasn’t enough. Not when he made the varsity swim team and baseball team as a freshman in high school, not when he was given a swim scholarship to UCLA for college, not when he worked his ass off to get good grades despite his involvement in two sports.

The Hayes family is big in the financial planning world. If you don’t know a thing about that, you probably won’t know who they are, but his mother has been on covers of industry magazines and interviewed for finance TV shows before. She and his father co-own their own company.

He started partying in high school to try to let off some steam after games and dances. He only increased his partying in college. This was when he first tried cocaine. The partying got heavier and heavier, and, eventually, he lost his scholarship. That’s when he started bartending - he didn’t want his parents to know that he lost the scholarship, so he had to pay his own way through the rest of school. This was also when he cut contact with his family.

He likes it when people talk to him as if he was a brick wall, not absorbing any of their information. But he keeps that dirt in his brain - after all, who knows when he’s going to need it?

He was a good cook, once upon a time. Now, he doesn’t really have the incentive to be one, especially since he works through what most people would consider “dinner time”.

He’s pretty good at poker, but he’d never go into the casino to play. That’s too formal for him.

He wouldn’t refer to himself as a cocaine addict - just a man who likes cocaine. He figures he could stop at any time he wants to.

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

SUPPLIER: he's got a drug addiction; he needs drugs. this is probably someone within valencia who provides him with his fix - someone he pays either with information or money.

MUTUAL DISLIKE: this person doesn't like him for whatever reason. maybe he owes them money. maybe he's made a promise he didn't keep. whatever the reason is, cas doesn't like them, either. they're greeted with distaste.

FRIENDS: obviously everyone needs friends. these people may or may not know about cas' addiction problems, and, if they do know, he still won't admit to having an addiction problem.

PAST HOOKUP: any gender ! he does have a tendency to sleep around solely for praise and validation that he feels like he's been missing in his life thus far. don't be mad if he doesn't call you back.

BOSS: this is someone in Valencia, as Violet is owned by them. Cas probably doesn't know too much about them/their involvement in the organization, they probably aren't too close because he's wary of them more than anything.

WARY: this person knows that something's going on with Cas. May or may not suspect the cocaine addiction, probably someone on the side of the law, recognizing that Caspian isn't getting by on his own.

OWED DEBT: Cas owes this person something, whether it be because they provided him with coke or because his car broke down and he needed help fixing it - whatever the reason, he's in debt, and he can't repay it yet. Valencia or not !

OLDER SIBLING: this is the big one ; see the main.

[sushigal007]

The Bright Household

Time to head over to my final University subhood. Eeee, I’m so excited! My very first uberhood rotation is almost over! *ahem* So, the first household I’m gonna be playing is the Bright Household, consisting of Allegra Gorey, Jane Stacks and Martin Ruben.

And I don’t even get halfway through checking Allegra’s clothes before Jane and Martin start mackin’ on each other.

Allegra: You guys changing your clothes too? Jane: Uh... yes, that’s exactly what we’re doing.

Allegra: So I was thinking we should make a chores chart...

Allegra: I was thinking we could take it in turns to do stuff like take out the trash or clean the bathroom rather than one person be stuck with one chore...

Allegra: Unless either of you have any objections? No? Cool, we’ll do that then.

Llama: FADA SOOLA- Allegra: Um, I’m trying to study here. Llama: What a great idea!

Martin: Why is there a Llama- Llame: Um, I’m trying to study here.

Jane: -And then I said- Coach: JUMPING JACKS. NOW. Jane: What? No, that was that asshole coach.

Jane: Everything hurts and I’m dying.

Jane: Rehydration! Martin: Do you have to do that when I’m cooking RIGHT NOW?

Family dinner.

Family dinner with cheering.

Allegra: Holy shit, weather!?

Jane: Pretty stars.

Martin: Haha puddles. Cow: *lurks ominously*

Martin: Oh look, all that puddle jumping made me fit. If that were true, Peppa Pig would be jacked.

You’re not Googling that, are you? Martin: What? No, I’m writing my term paper!

Meanwhile, Allegra challenged the Cow to a game of catch. Allegra: Ow! What the fuck!? Cow: Oops, thought we were playing baseball.

Allegra: Do you want me to go and fetch a baseball bat then? Because I can do that.

Who’s that? Allegra: No idea.

Jane: Um, I would quite like to go to bed now. So go? I’m not stopping you? Jane: But it’s finals time! Oops lol, better go do that first then.

Results!

Martin: Hi. Allegra: HAHAHAHA THAT’S HILARIOUS.

Martin: Noo, my abs! Ah well, easy come, easy go.

Allegra: If you had a genie lamp, what would you wish for? Jane: Is the genie limited like the Aladdin one? Because there’s a couple of people I wouldn’t mind murdering.

Right, time to pick up welcome packs from the student center. Jane: Flamingo dance night? Wait, did I misread that? Surely it’s flamenco- no, it’s flamingo. OK. Weird.

Townie: And fuck this bin in particular.

You know there’s a bath right behind you, yes? Allegra: Yes, why? Just checking.

Jane: Surprise! Martin: A welcome pack! Just what I always wanted! How can I ever thank you!? Jane: ...It’s a $15 llama toy in a bucket- Martin: HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU? Jane: ...With an orgasm.

And Martin is happy to oblige.

Meanwhile, disappointed by her crappy grades last semester, Allegra decides to write a term paper.

While Jane mooches around and paints.

Somebody else rolled a want for a woodworking bench, and Jane’s OTH is tinkering, so I ordered her to make bricks.

Will: Here’s an invitation to my secret garage. Come alone. An invitation no girl can resist!

And results! Allegra’s grades have definitely improved!

Allegra: Ugh, I’m starving. Allegra: Ooh, a sandwich! Allegra: Ew, it’s rotten. Allegra: Ugh, I’m starving. Allegra: Ooh, a sandwich! Allegra: Ew, it’s rotten. Allegra: Ugh, I’m starving...

Nice earrings, Alexandra!

Allegra: Bella Goth did WHAT!?

Jane: The fossil fuel industry is killing the planet. Allegra: And my pawn is killing your bishop. Jane: Is that even a real move?

Jane: I know you’re there, Allegra. Allegra: But the door hides me so well!

Jane: Right, now I’ve got all my skills, it’s time to write my term paper.

MEANWHILE. Martin: Mmm, Allegra’s kind of sexy.

Allegra: And I can prove it! Kissy kissy!

Martin: I’m flattered, but no thank you. Allegra: But but but...

Allegra: Please? Martin: Still a no!

Allegra: MY HEART IS BROKEN CRY CRY CRY. You got a body point though! Allegra: I WANT KISSES!

Jane and Martin: Mmmm, tasty tasty grilled cheese.

I felt bad for Allegra, so I had a look at her relationships and saw she had a crush on Castor Nova, so I invited him over in the hope she might get some smoochies from him instead. Allegra: Mmm, human contact. Just what I need before I run off to class in ten seconds.

Martin: Hurry upppppppp! Allegra: Sorry, gonna be here a while. All those grilled cheese sandwiches and no kisses, you see.

Allegra: And now to get wasted!

Grades!

Coach: STOP EATING GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES FOR EVERY MEAL THEY’RE BAD FOR YOU NOW DOWN AND GIVE ME FIFTY! Allegra: Me? Coach: No, you’re not a cheese sim, you’re fine.

Coach: WHAT DID I JUST SAY? Martin: but but but my cheese...

Coach: Yeah it smells pretty good, I’ll give you that.

The couple that eats grilled cheese together works out together. Martin: Under duress.

Allegra: I want a car. Done! Allegra: I want a real car.

I force-fulfilled that want because it is a real car, or at least it will be when Jane’s done with it. My hope is that she’ll finish it before she graduates.

Jane: Woohoo break!

Martin: I broke my ankle. Jane: I’ll break the other one if you stop.

Llama: VOOOOO GERBITS! Martin: Can I barbecue a llama? Just babies, I’m afraid.

Erik Swain came over.

I should probably hurry up and play his household before he dies.

Jane: Snow!

Llama: Right, where’s her wallet? Allegra: Zzzz... I’m being robbed...

Allegra: I don’t wanna study! So don’t? Allegra: I’m dying of hunger! I don’t wanna study! So stop trying to study then!

Allegra: I DON’T WANNAAAAAAAAA!

Martin: Talk to me about grilled cheese sandwiches and I’ll make you some.

The car is coming along nicely, but I’m not sure Jane will manage to finish it in time-

Allegra: Leave it to me.

Cheerleader: YAAAAAY FIX THAT ENGINE WOOOOO! Allegra: As soon as this car is done, I’m gonna run you over in it.

A coat of paint...

And it’s done!

Just in time for Jane to graduate.

Jane: After all that advice from the coach, I’ve decided to embrace fitness. Really? Jane: Hahaha no, get me a new outfit now please.

Martin: So. Allegra: So. Just us. Alone at last.

Before I change Jane’s clothes though, I move her into a little Plasticbox apartment Downtown. She’s a little short on cash because I don’t want to sell the car, so she has to dig for a few hours first.

Landlady: You done digging holes in my yard yet? Jane: Almost!

Landlady: Then sign here.

Landlady: And pay no attention to the weird borky terrain.

UBERHOOD INDEX

[legoyuri]

just thought i should mention to you guys that my abs are so firm that you could grade cheese on em.

[hoardofhyperfixations]

Powerful Chapter 7: Trams

Chapter 1

Previous Chapter

Warnings: None

Pairings: Logicality, Prinxiety

Genre: Mostly fluff

Summary: The bois go over to Logan's house. Well, most of them.

Logan liked to consider himself an intelligent boy.

He was a straight A student, in several Honors classes--including English. He was, admittedly, surprised that Romano Prince and Patton Harrt had been in that class as well--and had skipped the fifth grade.

So he was naturally a bit confused on why he didn't regret his decision to date Patton. Patton talked a lot. He was extremely sensitive. He was very touchy-feely. He was cuddly. He was the complete opposite of Logan. And he wasn't...the sharpest tool in the shed.

To put it simply, Patton had asked Logan why they didn't have candy that tasted like mint toothpaste.

And yet, Logan couldn't bear to see him sad. How odd was that?

"Looks like a storm's coming, Lo!" Patton chirped from his place on Logan's floor with Sasha in his lap.

Logan just grunted, rubbing his temples. He knew damn well a storm was coming, considering his frustration was the cause of it.

"Lo?" There was a sudden warmth on his leg and the bed dipped next to him. Logan looked to his right and immediately leaned back, as Patton was way too close. He moved his leg away from Patton's hand.

"Uh- yes, Patton?" Luckily, Patton seemed to get the hint and scooted away from him, nearly off the bed since it wasn't that wide. Odd, Patton was pretty much hanging off the side of the bed, but he didn't even seem to tilt or be close to falling. Logan just decided he probably had really good balance.

"Are you alright? You seem angry." Patton spoke softly, and that just irritated Logan even more. Who gave Patton the right to be so sweet and so cute?

He looked everywhere and anywhere except for into those baby blue eyes; at Patton's bag with it's cat design, at the window where he could see a the rain beginning to pour in buckets, at Sasha, who was taking a nap...

"I'm fine. Just thinking." Logan answered in his usual flat tone. He glanced at Patton, who's orange hair was as adorable as ever. "Would you mind going away for a few minutes?" The silence in response made him wince; he didn't even need to look to know there was a flash of hurt on Patton's freckled face.

"Oh, uh- yeah, I guess." Patton mumbled, standing up. "Am I- am I still spending the night...?" Logan blinked at the question.

"Of course. I'm not kicking you out, especially not in this weather. I just wish for some time to think." Logan assured, voice softening. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Are you sure? I know I can be a bit- um...overwhelming at times." Patton smiled a bit sadly and Logan's heart ached to fix it.

"Patton, you're fine. I'm not used to 'hanging out' even with a normal perso- that's- that's not what I meant." Logan frowned, cringing a bit. "You're something special, Patton, in the best way possible. I have never met someone who fit the definition of sunshine so well."

"Sun? But I'm the dad friend, not the son friend!" Patton chirped, grinning.

...

"God dammit, Patton." Logan groaned, rubbing his face. Mostly to hide his fond smile. Damn Patton and his stupid adorableness...

"Watch your language!" Patton gasped, hands on his hips like a disappointed father. Logan rolled his eyes, pushing his wire framed glasses up his nose.

A knock came at Logan's door, cutting off Patton's remark about how quickly the storm was clearing up.

"Logan? Can I come in?" His mom asked.

"Yes, Mom." Logan answered, scooting over so Patton could sit down next to him again. He felt his face turn pink as Patton rested his head on his shoulder.

It was to fool his mother, of course, as she walked into the room. Of course. Absolutely.

She smiled, shutting the door behind her. Sasha ran up and ran circles around her legs, resulting in a nudge from her feet.

"Hey, hun. Hello, Patton."

"Hi, Mrs. Trams!" Patton chirped, toying with the promise ring around his ring finger.

"Well, Lo, your father and I wanted to go to the movies. Would you two be alright on your own? You can invite your friends over." His mom explained. Logan paused, thinking over her words briefly before glancing at Patton.

Patton nodded, so he smiled a bit and nodded as well.

"We'll be fine, Mom." Logan assured. His mom smiled, kissing his forehead then Patton's before leaving and shutting the door behind her.

"...wanna invite the others over?" Patton asked, grinning. Logan hummed absently.

"Yes, I suppose I wouldn't mind." He agreed. "Do you happen to have Dee's phone number, though? I have the others', but not his."

"No, but I think Virge does." Patton said as he sent texts to Roman and Virgil, adding a message to invite Dee to Virgil's.

•

He's so- so ignorant! Logan thought. He decided to tell Roman so, ignoring the scolding look from Patton. Roman did his usual over exaggerated gasp and offended noises, animatedly arguing with Logan and upsetting Virgil, who was laid across his lap like a cat.

"Stay still, moron." He grumbled, scrolling on his phone some more as he made himself comfortable.

Patton was downstairs, getting snacks for them all.

Logan rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and going to speak only for Sasha to interrupt him with a yipp. Roman snorted, fixing his hair. Logan narrowed his eyes at Roman, the gears in his brain turning as he thought things over.

Roman always reacted to animal noises the way he'd react to someone speaking. Whenever Sasha barks, he seems to speak for her. Animals seem to love him. Wh-

"L?" Virgil's voice cut through his thoughts. "What do you think?"

"Huh? My apologies, I must've zoned out." Logan mumbled apologetically, running a hand through his slicked back hair and glancing at his watch. 10:21. "What were you conversing about?" Virgil tilted his head.

"Disney movies have dark sides to them. Princey thinks they don't and that-"

"He's ruining the sacred name of Disney!" Roman screeched. Logan rolled his eyes.

"Well, looking at the facts," he began, "nearly every happy or upbeat thing has a dark side of some sort-"

"Traitor!"

"Bold of you to assume I was on your side in the first place."

"Nerd." Roman hissed, pouting and crossing his arms.

"Prep."

"I got cheesy puffs!" Patton exclaimed as he walked into the room with a wide grin on his face. Logan fought off a smile of his own as Patton set down the large bowl of cheese puffs and smoothing out his white skirt.

"Pat to the rescue." Virgil mumbled, then elbowed Logan. "L, you're staring."

"Falsehood." Logan had in fact been staring at Patton. Luckily, Patton had been distracted by Sasha running around his feet and barking happily. Patton was so cute...

God, he was in for a hell of a ride, wasn't he?

Then the doorbell rang.

Taglist: @sea-blue-child @ab-artist @freepaperie081 @soft-transboy @zamoradraw @beach-fan @nerdy-as-heck @cute-anxious-kitten @imjustawibba @angels-ofthe-sea @the-dumbster @theunoriginaldaisy @romansleftshoulderpad @what-a-catch-joe @all-hail-red-leader

General Taglist: @superkat500 @all-hail-red-leader @demonvirgil @llamaavocado @angels-ofthe-sea @anyay666 @detroit-become-pan @kaioanxiety @definitely-a-plant @shesavampirequeen

[gottagobuycheese]

Tag Thingy

Thanks @indezaisive for tagging me! This is a welcome distraction from studying for OSCEs though I really should get on that :P

Name: Cheese 

Gender: Meeeeeeee 

Sign: Gemini 

Height: allegedly 160.5 cm, which is somewhere around 5′3″? 

Sexuality: Ace! (aroace probably but because of this one brief weird time from high school the jury’s still out) 

Lock Screen Image: That generic bright blue space photo on iPhones because I have no personality and also like space 

Ever had a crush on a teacher?: Nah 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?: cremated uhhh let’s see, ten years, ten years. That’d be...2028? So ideally, if everything goes according to plan and I don’t shoot myself in my remaining foot, I’ll be a couple years into a job, unless I somehow get into some fancy pants specialty that requires more than a standard residency (but I’d have to get a decent grade in pathology for that so whelp) 

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?: The ISS, or Antarctica, or Denali, or somewhere equally wide open where I could pretend I don’t have any pressing responsibilities and feel that awesome wonder you get when you see a sky which a bunch of stars. Or if that’s too outlandish, Japan because that was the greatest break I’ve ever taken 

What was your coolest Halloween costume?: I dressed up as the bubonic plague one year for extra credit in my history class and had a grand old time. Everyone who dressed up (for extra credit) was supposed to give a presentation about their historical relevance, and my teacher loved my costume so much she made me come back for her last class of the day to do it again. A lot of other people were creeped out by it, which was extra fun. I still have this bald patch on the back of my hand from where I had to yank off this one stubborn raisin 

Favorite 90s TV Show: I don’t know what TV shows I presently enjoy were from the 90s, but at the time I loved Digimon. Still enjoy it, but mostly for the nostalgia at this point. I think I also just enjoyed that whole feeling of getting up super early on a Saturday with my brother to watch the latest episode of whatever season was playing at the time 

Last Kiss: Probably my dad? That was months ago before I started Hell Semester 2.0, but I'm fairly certain he was the last person to see me off to the airport so. Probably 

Have you ever been stood up? The bus...it keeps ghosting me. This whole week has been an exercise is betrayal. Like, you get up at 7-whatever so you can catch the 8:02 bus to make it to your 9 o’clock class, but nooooo, by the time you get to the bus stop, the 8:02 bus doesn’t exist! So you have to wait for the 8:17 bus! But that bus is late! And by the time it finally reaches your stop it’s so full of people that were betrayed at all the previous stops that you can’t even get on! And then you have wait for the next bus and be atrociously late for class and walk in shame through the front of the room right in front of the lecturer to the only available seats left in the lecture hall, or you try to sprint to the next stop before it gets there so you can nab a spot once some of the people disembark that only worked once though and it was because the traffic lights were in my favor. Or take a cab, but that’s so expensive 

Ever been to Vegas? Yup! Twice, I think. Once when I was around 6 (which could mean I was anywhere from 4 to 9, because I ascribe almost every vague childhood memory I don’t have a specific time period for to “when I was 6″) and once for New Year’s 2017. A better experience the second time since we didn’t lose any precious stuffed animals, but it was quite loud and drunk because it was New Year’s. But we did go see a magic show, so that was neat. And it wasn’t a creepy magic show and they didn’t rope us in for audience participation, so that was even better 

Favorite Shoes: I really like these velcro sandals of mine, but they’re so old and tattered I feel like the straps are just going to fall off soon. My foot is already breaking through the body of the sandal into the hollow space inside, and there’s basically no sole left. I should probably get new ones, but meh 

Favorite Fruit: Oh jeez this is a hard one. Fruits have grown on me so much. I do love mangoes, but tangerines are such a good regular reliable snack, and I’m more picky about mangoes than tangerines. Oh but I had these insanely good mandarins in Japan once that tasted like actual heaven, especially because it was so hot and they were so cold. So maybe those after all 

Favorite Books: I haven’t read in so long I’m sorry I think the most recent book I enjoyed was Howl’s Moving Castle or The Martian, but those were more oh-no-I-have-important-things-to-do-let-me-procrastinate-harder reads. I guess if we’re talking comforts reads that I know I can enjoy at pretty much any time, probably Harry Potter or Warriors, but I know I’ve read a lot of other books I really enjoyed at the time. Unfortunately, I have the memory of Mouse AB#310013 so I cannot recall what they were 

Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Done: gonna take a leaf outta Zai’s book and say going to med school because let’s face it the way things are going this isn’t gonna end well for me or for the general public. In terms of actual, genuinely, 100% beyond-a-shadow-of-doubt stupid things I’ve done, probably this one time in high school where I made the mistake of trying to wear a dress. I was home alone, about to leave for a school performance, and I thought to myself, “Hey, since this is already here, instead of wearing my normal funeral performance clothes, what if I try this out?” I didn’t know that the bows on those kinds of dresses could be untied (I thought it was just stitched in as part of the design), so I tried to squeeze my head and arms through the darn thing by sheer force of will (in hindsight, I may have been trying to go to the armhole instead of the head hole because I’m just That Bad at wearing anything but a t-shirt and shorts). At some point my vision started to go spotty and I toppled over, and the only reason I am still alive to tell you this story is because I had the foresight to remove my watch. I managed to squeeze one arm through next to my head and yanked on that bow like my life depended on it which it did and freed myself from its murderous grasp. And I haven’t ever tried to wear a dress since because I’d probably die :D 

Best Thing You’ve Ever Done: In sixth grade I let this low-key annoying stranger borrow my valve oil in our first few days of band class and now they’re one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that

Why do my answers keep getting so long every time 

Tagging @pachelbelsheadcanon, @averybritishbumblebee, @christlovez, @sailorlock, @stealingyourdreams, @eiramew, @shingeki-no-korra, and YOU! If you want to. But don’t feel obligated!