#i could go on forever but ill stop for now❤️

[camelspit]

its stellarlune hating hours again.. 😠

[giannan04]

Can you please do a part two to the Jungwon one shot you wrote!🩷

Ask and you shall receive! A few people asked me to make a part two to my Jungwon X F! Reader one shot (https://www.tumblr.com/giannan04/760529750415589376/i-neeeed-panty-fucking-with-jungwon-ill-love) and I was thinking of writing a part two, I just didn’t know how much people would like the first part! I’m so thankful for everyone who supports my writing!🫶🏻

⬇️Part one is listed here ⬇️

Pairing: Best-friend’s brother Jungwon x F! Reader

Genre:Slight bad boy x good girl trope, smut. Best-friends brother

Warnings: SMUT! Cursing (F word is thrown around a lot), God’s name said in vain like twice (I’m a Christian 😭) choking, p in v, cream-pie!, unprotected sex (WRAP IT UP Y’ALL), oral sex (f! Receiving), choking, that’s about all I can think of.

MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT!🔞

You were always the perky cheerleader, dedicated to your academics and looking forward to college—just like your best friend, Niki. Everyone thought you two would end up together, especially since you were the head cheerleader and he was the quarterback of the football team. Jungwon, Niki's older brother, never let you forget that. He teased you constantly for being a “goody-goody”, for being just like Niki. But Jungwon was different. He was the bad boy who didn’t care about school, dropped out early because he was next in line to inherit their parents' pharmaceutical company (it would’ve been Niki, but he wanted to be a doctor), and spent his time smoking, drinking & partying, and bringing a string of different girls home every week—-much to the annoyance of Niki and his parents. Deep down, you always knew Jungwon wasn’t good for you, but something about him drew you in, even if you couldn’t stand his teasing, low-key flirting.

——-

It had been hours since Jungwon fucked you (and your panties), leaving you breathless and wanting more. The heat of his touch still lingered on your skin, making it hard to focus on anything else. You couldn’t stop thinking about the text he had sent when you finished earlier, the one that made your heart race: ‘See you in my room later. I’ll make sure you cum this time ;)’

You were now in the living room, curled up next to Niki, trying to concentrate on the latest season of ‘Attack on Titan’ but your mind kept drifting back to Jungwon. The way he had touched you, the way he spoke to and took control of your body with such ease—it was all too distracting. Niki, blissfully unaware, sat beside you with his eyes glued to the screen, excited to binge-watch your favorite anime. Every time you even thought about slipping away to Jungwon’s room, Niki would either start the next episode or ask, “Where are you going?” and “Why do you keep getting up?” trapping you in place.

Your phone buzzed again. You glanced down to see a picture of Jungwon’s hand gripping his hard-on. His dick was pressed against his boxer-briefs, begging to be freed. You squirmed on the couch, desperate to get up and leave the living room, but every time you did that, Niki would play the next episode. ‘I’m waiting for you’, the text read. Heat rushed through your body and your stomach fluttered, your body itching to get up and leave, but Niki kept chattering about the show, keeping you in the conversation. You could barely focus. All you could think about was how badly you wanted to be in Jungwon’s room.

Another text came in not long after. ‘Wtf are you doing?’ Jungwon's frustration was obvious, and you quickly typed back: ‘I’m trying to get away from Niki, but it’s hard!’

Minutes ticked by agonizingly slow, feeling like house until finally, Niki groaned, clutching his stomach. “Shit, I shouldn’t have ate so many snacks” he groaned, wincing. He stood up and headed toward the bathroom. “I’m gonna be in there for a while,” he added dramatically, and you watched as he dashed down the hallway.

This was your chance.

Without a second thought, you rushed to Jungwon’s room. The moment you slipped inside, you found him undressed, his lean frame illuminated by the dim light. He turned to you, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Took you long enough,” he drawled, eyes raking over your body. “Strip.” He ran his tongue over his lips in anticipation.

You hesitated, suddenly shy, your hands trembling slightly as you stood by the door. ‘Why am I so nervous?’ you thought. ‘It’s not like we haven’t done this earlier… but still…’ Your mind raced. ‘What if he doesn’t like what he sees?’ You couldn’t shake the insecurity that crept in as you stood there, feeling his eyes on you. You couldn’t believe that you acted all impatient earlier just to be nervous in front of him.

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, clearly sensing your hesitation. “What’s the holdup? I already fucked you earlier,” he said, his voice low and teasing, as he smirked at you.

“It’s different this time,” you muttered, tugging at the hem of your pajama shirt. “Before, it was quick… and I still had my cheer uniform on. Now it’s…”

Jungwon rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders, clearly unimpressed by your nerves. “It’s not a big deal. Get undressed.” He palmed his erection with impatience.

Your fingers fumbled with the waistband of your pants before you finally managed to strip. You stood before him, feeling exposed and vulnerable, your arms crossed over your stomach and chest. ‘Is he really going to like my body?’ The thought kept looping in your mind, but you pushed it aside, trying to focus on the moment. Jungwon’s gaze softened just slightly as he approached you, his eyes trailing up and down your body. He reached out, his fingertips tracing the curve of your waist. “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, his voice softer than usual.

“Thanks,” you replied shyly, avoiding his intense gaze.

Jungwon didn’t waste any more time. He picked you up effortlessly, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as he carried you to the bed; you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. He laid you down gently, pressing his lips to yours in a deep kiss. Yet, as his hands roamed your body, he paused, sensing your hesitation. He pulled back, his forehead resting against yours. “What’s wrong now?” he asked, his tone sharp with impatience. “I already told you, you look good.”

You bit your lip, trying to find the right words. “I told you… this is different.”

Jungwon let out an annoyed sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Please stop overthinking it,” he muttered. “Just let me get to work. I wanna make you feel good.” You blushed. You wanted Jungwon. Badly. You knew he was right, you were doing too much overthinking about everything. “Okay.” Jungwon smirked at your response. He lowered back down and began kissing your stomach.

He trailed kisses down your stomach, his lips brushing against your skin as he moved lower. When he reached your core, he didn’t hesitate. He immediately flattened his tongue against your wet pussy lips. Jungwon’s tongue began to explore you, teasing and tasting, making your body writhe with pleasure. His touch was both demanding and tender as he focused on your clit, swirling his tongue and applying pressure. The sensation was almost too much, and you moaned, your hands gripping the sheets. “Oh my fucking God Jungwon. It feels so good.” You moaned louder, your fingers twisting in Jungwon’s hair as you pushed his face deeper inside you.

"Good girl," Jungwon murmured against you, his voice vibrating through your body. "You love this, don't you?" He picked his lips, using them to suck your clit gently.

The pleasure built quickly, and despite your exhaustion from earlier, your body responded eagerly. “Jungwon…I-I’m so close.” Jungwon’s skillful movements drove you to the edge, as he moved his tongue faster, and you cried out as you came, your body trembling under his experienced touch.

Once he was satisfied with your reaction, Jungwon shifted positions, his hands gripping your hips as he entered you from behind in a rough, commanding thrust, the sounds of your wet cunt filling the air. His dick plus the feeling of leftover cum from your last orgasm filled you with so much pleasure. The raw intensity of his movements made you gasp, each thrust hitting deep, relentless and powerful. "You’re so fucking tight," he growled, his breath hot against your ear. "Already came, and you’re still so perfect for me." Hearing him praise you while he fucked you so good left you craving for more. “Oh my god.”

His pace was unforgiving, his hips pounding into you with each stroke. You could feel his balls slapping against your pussy from behind. “I’m going to make sure you feel every inch," he groaned, pushing you further, your body arching and grinding back against him. His movements were punishing, but the pleasure was undeniable, making you cry out with each forceful thrust. “Yes, Won, you fuck me so good!”

Jungwon’s grip tightened on your hips as he felt his own release approaching. "I’m gonna fill you the fuck up," he groaned, his thrusts becoming erratic and frantic. With a final, deep thrust, he came inside you, his body shuddering with the intensity of his orgasm. The warmth of his cum filled you, and he stayed buried inside, panting heavily. The warm cum and his thick cock felt so good inside you, you didn’t even want him to move.

Afterward, Jungwon carefully pulled out, his eyes still intense as he grabbed a warm cloth, which he already had waiting on his dresser. He began to clean you up and you felt the care in his touch. "You did so well," he said, his voice a mix of praise and control. "Such a good girl, taking everything I gave you." You’re murmured softly, that was all you could do. You were laying there spent, made a mess by Jungwon.

He leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your inner thighs as he continued to clean you. "Look at you, all wrecked and perfect," he whispered softly, a teasing edge still present in his voice. "Can’t even move after all that."

He helped you into his arms, covering you with a blanket and pulling you close. His touch was soothing as he rubbed your back, but there was still that familiar sharpness in his tone. "Don’t get too comfortable," he warned with a smirk. "Next time, I won’t be so easy on you."

He pressed gentle kisses to your forehead, his hands lingering on your body in a caring way despite his earlier harshness. "You did great," he whispered, his voice softening. "You’re amazing." You really did like Jungwon. Besides how good he made you feel sexually, you could feel how much he cared for you. And he made you feel good about yourself. But you couldn’t help but wonder if Jungwon saw more in you than just sex.

As you lay there, deep in thought, Jungwon noticed the distant look in your eyes. "What’s on your mind?" he asked, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You hesitated, feeling a blush creep across your cheeks. "I was just wondering… what does this mean for us? Are we… official, or am I just… your fuck buddy?" You bit your lip nervously and played with your fingers, unable to meet his gaze.

Jungwon rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips as he pulled you closer. "What do you think? You’re my girl," he said confidently, leaning in to kiss you deeply. Before you could respond, he continued, "I’ve always wanted you. It drove me crazy that your little “good-girl” self was too occupied with school and your friendship with Niki to see that."

He looked into your eyes, waiting for your response. "Do you feel the same, despite what you’ve heard about me? I know Niki told you I’m not good enough for you”

You nodded, kissing him back with equal intensity, holding him close. "I do," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity.

Just then, Niki barged into the room. "I knew you guys were fucking!” he exclaimed, giving you both a stern look. "Seriously? I couldn’t even take a shit in peace without hearing everything! And you’re supposed to be my company, Y/N!”

The tension in the air was thick as Niki stared at you, in the same bed as his older brother. You laughed awkwardly, attempting to break the tension. “Um, I’ll be right back down, Niki.”

Niki huffed, rolling his eyes. “So, are you guys like “a thing” now?”

Jungwon smirked mischievously at his younger brother. “Damn right.” He leaned down and kissed you, not caring that Niki was watching. Niki wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Gross”, he said, turning towards the door.

Before he left the room, he looked over his shoulder, directly at Jungwon. “Just make sure you treat her right. I don’t play about Y/n.”

Jungwon held you even tighter, his face nuzzled in your neck. “No shit. I’ll treat her like a princess.”

You couldn’t stop the cheesy smile that tugged at your lips. You knew Niki wanted the best for you, but you had no doubt in your mind that Jungwon was good for you.

——

A/N: Y’all, Jungwon is a DOM and I will die on this hill!😭🫶🏻

[moochalove]

Last Nights Mistakes and New Beginnings (Part 4-5)(Final)

(yandere!kazuha x pregnant!reader x scaramouche)

Did you know they call me the yappinator? Anyways i’ve been meaning to finish it but i’ve been busy w school but now i have the time so i will be yapping away more (posting a little more)🗣️ Get cozy bcs this is long asf!

Reader is bi-icon! (+ trauma) If imma be fr, the beginning is a little off bcs i wrote it weeks ago (im lazy and i will not fix it🥶) ANYWAYS ILL STOP YAPPING! TY FOR READING 🤭 (if u do😡)

word count: Pretty fucking long ❤️

proofread: HELL NO! 😋 fill in the gaps/mistakes for me pls🫶

TW: Stockholm syndrome

Arriving at the mall you think about making a break for it but these heels prevent you from doing so. With enough for the heel would surely snap though… Noted. Reaching for the door handle you’re stopped and pulled into a kiss. It’s a little uncomfortable but you play it off with a smile, “Don’t worry Kazu, I’m not gonna run off~” “I know darling, but this is the start of our new life so allow me to take the lead. Don’t worry your pretty mind about anything.” With that, he places one last peck onto your face. Once again, he is opening the door for you and you guiding you to the some shops. Immediately you notice his firm grip on your waist, and it’s uncomfortable. He said you would be buying clothes but you now realize he meant he was picking clothes FOR you. You’re in the dressing room and he has you trying on all these cute coquette clothing. It feels a little uncomfortable but you try to get used to the feeling of the outfits. Some are loose, and some are tighter. In your mind, you already knew which ones you liked based on the texture, design, etc..

Whenever you came out to show off an outfit you felt like a real couple. Showing off your outfit and making comments, no matter what you wore he seemed to agree it looked good on you, even if you didn’t think so. Something feels wrong about this but you can’t help but smile when he looks at you so adoringly.

You guys go to about three more shops, all of them having a different theme. By the time you were done, it was mid-afternoon. Both of your feet were killing you… not to mention you were hungry… You both agree to stop and get something to eat.

You arrive at a very familiar restaurant… Weren’t you just here? When was that though? If it was important surely you’d remember!

•

•

•

Scaramouche was frantic, to say the least. You weren’t answering his messages… Has something happened? He needs to get to you asap, but how? What if you’ve been removed from your home? If it came to it he could ask his mother to track you down, since she had that kind of power.

Knocking on the door he’s anxious, and hoping he would be met with a bright smile and worried hushing telling him that you were okay. After about a minute he knocks on your room window… No reply. Should he wait around? No, that’ll take too long. After some contemplation, he decides to reach out to his mom.

They have a long talk before she eventually caves. It feels like it’s been forever since she’s seen her child and when he comes back he’s on an adventure trying to get his girlfriend back. She didn’t think situations like that existed but he’s shown her the possibilities are endless. The way he talked about you so dearly gave her the impression you were a thing. Since she’s such a good and caring mother, it’s the least she can do for her future daughter!

Maybe he should’ve emphasized that you were just friends even though he wished for more

From what some super normal and not shady people told him, you were last seen at that restaurant you both had visited yesterday. Why were you there? That didn’t matter right now! Furrowing his eyebrows he sat there and thought long and hard. How was he going to get to you? Kazuha would most likely be glued to your side so directly approaching was out of the question. Could he signal you to him from afar? No, that probably won’t work… Pounding his forehead slightly he couldn’t form a good plan.

“You seem troubled, Doll.” A sly finger guided itself through his short purple locks.

“What do you want, Miko? I’m busy and-“

“You know it’s nice to run away then come running back when you need help. Your mother was on edge for weeks. Spending whatever free time she had looking for her poor child. Always looking for you despite her own needs.”

“Did you come to ask me what’s wrong only to turn around and try to guilt trip me? You don’t change, do you?”

Without saying anything she placed a bag next to him and then made her way to the door. Peeking through the bad he looked back to her fleeting figure before shouting out, “Wait! What is this for? You really expect me to forgive you with this bag full of clothes?! Plus, this has girl stuff in it anyways-“ “Silly Kuni! This is to help you get your girl back!” “Excuse me?!” Miko sighed while shrugging, “And you say your moms are no help! C'mon, you have to think outside the box, silly!” Taking the bag back she pulled out the cutest dress you’ve ever seen along with tights and heels. “It’d be stupid to approach her directly. You have no idea what kind of mental state she’s in, she may not trust any other man or claim she’s fine with her captor.” Digging deeper into the bag she pulled out a long wig that happened to be the same shade as his own hair, “So you have to coax her out as someone willing to understand and help her out of the situation!” Before he knew it he was all dolled up, shifting uncomfortably in the dress and trying to adjust his posture and his footing, constantly brushing his much longer locks back while puckering and rolling his lips that had a gloss applied to them. Would this really work?

“Miko, I don’t think this is gonna work… I don’t make a very convincing girl….” he awkwardly fussed with his bangs before glancing over at her. Miko held her phone up and with a click and a flash the very image of… whatever this was… saved onto her phone and probably being backed up to her cloud. “Oh, you look just like your sister!” Placing her phone back in her bag she shooed him out of the car before, then rolled down the window offering a few words, courtesy of her never-ending-kindness! “Just be kind to her, her heart will surely realize who you are... Or don’t! Maybe she’ll see through all of this!” Scaramouche could only grit his teeth as she motioned her hand at him. “I’ll be waiting here so once she comes to her senses I won’t be far. Plus! Wouldn’t want you to try and be all hero-like only to trip and fall in those cuttteee heels of yours!”

•

•

•

Spoonful after spoonful you swallowed whatever food had been shoved into your face. Were you even hungry? Not that it matters. At this point, you’ve come to treat this as if it were a real date! Yet your heart doesn’t skip a beat when he cups your face. A couple of people do glance over at you both awkwardly but that smile of yours tells them you’re just a young couple in love. It goes on like this for a few more minutes before beautiful swaying locks catch your eye, it’s true you’ve been ignoring the faces of those who’ve been passing by, but this face is stunning. Your heart skips a beat when your eyes meet each other. Now something about all this feels familiar but you can’t quite pin it down just yet. Kazuha notices how your attention is drawn away from him and he immediately pulls your chin towards him, “Is something the matter my love? You seem distracted.” He bluntly states as his eyebrows furrow slightly in frustration. “A-ah, no, I just…” Perhaps you were scared or maybe still stunned by that girls beauty but you can’t seem to form a coherent thought. He shifts around in his seat a little, ever so slightly moving his chair to block your view of the girl. With a short ‘ahem’ you brush it off as just seeing someone you thought you recognized.

If you look past his intense gaze you can still kinda see her fussing with her long hair. A waiter shows her to her table that so happens to be next to yours. You bite your tongue to hide a giggle when you see her awkwardly try to walk in heels, maybe she’s not used to them? Once she sits down it’s obvious she’s not used to wearing such feminine clothes, the way she keeps lifting her feet off the ground and sliding them farther out, or how she pulls the hem of her dress down even though it’s past her knees. The way she covered her mouth and spoke in a quiet meek voice told you maybe she was shy. Kazuha glanced at you both, almost trying to understand the connection you guys had but signed in defeat, “I’m gonna use the restroom then pay for our food. Don’t go anywhere.” And with that, he was gone but surely it wouldn’t take him long to be back.

Scaramouche had to be quick about this. The least he could do is get you outside.

Trying to keep his ladylike demeanor he tried starting the conversation with something normal. Of course, this meant he would have to speak a little louder in order for you to hear in the louder environment. He would be lying to himself if he said he hadn’t “practiced” his female voice.

“Isn’t the food here the best?”

Taken aback by how cute she sounded you cover your mouth slightly. “She even has a cute voice!”, you thought to yourself. Once again stunned you take a moment to respond.

“Y-yeah!” your response is a little fast-paced but she just smiles in response. “Haha, you seem a little nervous, what, too stunned by my looks?” Even though he was supposed to be portraying a meek, innocent girl, he couldn’t help but still be cocky. It’s as if you were on autopilot with the way your response was the same yeah…

Part of you felt like that’s something he would say. Who was he again?

“It’s a little stuffy in here, don’t you agree? How about we get some fresh air?” The girl suggested so innocently that you’d completely “forgotten” what Kazuha told you NOT to do. As if you’d been under a spell you followed a girl you didn’t even know the name of out of the restaurant. Her name! You need her name! This can’t be the last time you see each other you need her contact info! You reach to where you would normally keep your phone only for your attention to be stolen away by her.

She handed you her phone that had a picture of a very certain cat. Your heart fastens as you start to recall some things, you couldn’t submit to someone who only half-loved you. No, you had to get home to your first baby. Tears threaten to spill as everything comes back faster than you can comprehend.

He didn’t love you, no, he never did. If he did he would’ve stayed the first night. He was just looking for something to sedate his own woes. You come to the realization that your delusions you made up to protect yourself were false. You haven’t been in love for years like your mind had told you, you don’t know what he really feels, you just filled in the blanks with lies your mind fed you. In reality, you’ve probably only really known each other for a couple of days, during those 4 months you spent pregnant and alone your brain spun a story as if you were real lovers. Hating yourself could come later but for now, you need to get a grip and get out of here. Suddenly you’re caught up to speed and all it feels like you’re gonna vomit, your clothes feel tighter and you can feel your own skin, every pore feels open and you hate every second of it. What feels like hours is only a matter of seconds.

A hand is gently wipes your tears away,

“It’s time to go, Y/n.”

“I cant.. I’m sacred. I-“

“Don’t be. I'm here now, and I’m not letting you go.” He looked so serious, although a little funny since he was still in his getup.

Reaching for your wrist he gently and slowly led you farther away from the establishment and closer to your getaway car.

Both of your steps got faster and faster. You didn’t want to look back, no, you shouldn’t.

A voice you’ve come to hate shouts out to you. Ears pound loudly and your heart skips several beats when you hear fastened footsteps approaching. A wave of pain crashes onto you when your lower back aches in pain. You stop even though you don’t want to and clutch your stomach in retaliation.

You have to move right now otherwise he’ll catch up. Scaramouche turns back around for you and effortlessly picks you up and carries you to the car. When he turned to place you in the car he’s sure Kazuha has seen his face. Crap… Not like it mattered right now. He rushes to the other side of the car but is pulled back by a hand that is placed on his back, it’s cold and uncomfortable. Almost as if it triggered something in him he shouts and pushes him back into the ground.

Once Scaramouche is in the car Miko doesn’t hesitate to slam on the gas pedal and get you both somewhere safe.

Final Part:

When you wake up you’re in a very comfy bed. Moving your legs a little you wince uncontrollably. Memories come flooding back and your eyes dart to where Scaramouche is sitting. A smile makes itself known on your face and you reach out to him. He melts into your touch but avoids looking at you. You know you messed up big time by not running away from Kazuha like you should have… But you were in a deranged state! Surely he won’t blame you completely. Breaking the silence you ask him what’s wrong.

“I know we kinda just met but I hope you know I love you…” he trailed off, still avoiding eye contact. “I always have… It’s a shame you don’t remember me. If you did then I guess you could technically say we didn't just meet.”

Huh? You two knew each other? Maybe he’s got the wrong person. Innocently you ask, “Have we met somewhere before? I’m sorry but I don’t seem to ever recall-“ “Just take a good look at me and try to recall. We used to be playmates when we were little. Your parents were busy like mine so they would drop us off at that one daycare.” Your eyes squint as you take a good look at him, “And we went to school together for a little while- I tried stealing your pen-“ Eyes widening you can’t help but burst out laughing.

Now you remember him!

“It’s you! I- How could I forget? Oh my gosh, it seems work has made me forget my younger days!” Covering your mouth to hide a smile you can’t help but laugh a little louder. His face seems upset but eventually melts into a smiling one along with you. For a couple of moments you both laugh and exchange playful banter. Everything in the world is right at that moment.

But once again, your mistakes will catch up with you.

After the laughing dies down he squeezes your hand and places a handle on your stomach. This causes you to shift uncomfortably but you try to play it off as a cramp.

“When the Doctor came to relay your status he told me one bit of information that… you probably didn’t want me to know.”

Oh shit. Oh shit- Your heart fastens and you try to muster out a response but it hitches in your throat. “I-I canexplain p-please let me-“You fumble your words and tears pool up in your eyes.

With an affirmative squeeze to your hand he smiles softly, “It’s okay.”

“But it’s not- I messed up and now-“ You covered face with your hand, attempting to hide yourself away from him.

“And now- we can work this out, together. I promise I will do my best to be a good parent. If you’d just give me a chance- A chance to take care of you and your child. I would do anything to be with you once and for all. Please, Y/n, don’t leave me again.” His hand came up to yours pressed against your face, and slowly removed it from you.

A part of you feels raw, and exposed, yet, this time it’s different. Part of your brain tells you to run from his affection but the other part feels so defeated that you just want to cry into his chest and beg him to stay with you. Lucky for you he was willing to stay with you. Even if you were going to have your kidnapper's baby. Leaning into him you cried out all your sorrows that had been bottled up for the past couple of months. All he could do was rub your back and listen to you cry your heart out.

It felt good to finally tell someone how you truly felt. How much has been troubling you? Although you’re sure if you were to tell this to a professional you’d been locked up….

After you’re done crying you wipe your tears and take a deep breath. Your chest and shoulders feel lighter. The whiplash of everything could hit you later, you couldn’t care less right now. All you wanted to do was eat, stretch, and take a nap.

Scaramouche looked at you dead in the eye and you feared the worst. Was he joking? Did he actually hate you and never want to see you again? Did-

“Goddamit- I dropped my wig…”

You stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing. “That’s a shame! You didn’t look half bad in it~” you joked. “Oh please- You were head over heels for me and you know it!” “Ah, you got me there! Who knew you’d make such a fine girl! If only you could say the same about you know-Ow!” he punched your shoulder gently, but considering your current state it hurt more than he intended. “I’m sorry, Y/n- I-“ He checked the area to see if it was bruised or anything but was immediately met with a flick to the forehead. “Ow-!” “Haha, got you!” “You little-“

Both of your bickering would soon die down as soon as his parents would enter the room. It was obvious how you both turned stiff as boards. Acting as if you weren’t pulling each other’s hair like you once had.

Ei placed some flowers on the bed stand and Miko would sit down on the bed with some sweets in hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Y/n.” Ei bowed politely, “I’m not sure if my son had mentioned us to you. If not it’s alright- But we are his parents.” Miko started feeding some cake with a fork as she nodded along. “I’m very happy to see you make my son happy. It used to worry me that my son would die alone-“she feigned a tear falling from her eye. “MOM.” Blush spread across Scaramouche’s face as he crossed his arms. “Ah, excuse me, that’s beside the point! What I mean to say is that you shouldn’t worry about the wedding founding- Your new moms will buy you everything you will need-“ “THATS NOT ANY BETTER!” He exclaimed even redder. She smiled so innocently all while still looking a little confused. Miko finally chimed in, “What she means to say is that she supports you both no matter what. Even if you don’t think she agrees with you,” she turned her head towards him, “she believes you both will make the right choice. We hope you both can treat this as a new beginning. As I like to say, carpe diem!” “You never say that.” Ei tilted her head with a soft smile. “Well, I do now!”

All four of you burst out laughing. You guys talk a little more before they leave for their business dinner. Once again you and Scara are alone.

“Are you really sure you’re okay with marrying a pregnant woman?” “Of course I’m fine with it, since it being you and all.” Rubbing the back of his head he laid his head down on the bed, “Are YOU sure you wanna get married right away? Just because my mom mistook us for dating already doesn’t mean we should skip that part… Plus, what if you don’t like who I am…” You pet his soft purple hair with a smile, “Well, as long as you promise not to be a complete asshole, then I suppose we’ll be just fine!” “You think I’m an asshole?” “Haha, anyways…. What kind of wedding cake should we have? I was thinking of a [favorite flavor] cake! Ooohh and we can look at the different types of venues! Ah, I guess after that we need to plan a baby shower!”

He’d completely tuned you out and just stared at you, lovingly. Your skin glowed perfectly from the artificial light, and that smile of yours was perfect. You no longer looked tired and stressed; instead, you looked happy and not so tired. He couldn’t blame his ex-friend for falling for you. Although he feels a little jealous that he’s seen parts of you that now belong to his eyes only now.

Fingers tap up and down on the bed as if he’s contemplating something. You take notice and tap his shoulder, you ask if he’s listening. Suddenly he gets up- His soft lips are placed against your slightly chapped ones. It’s warm. Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly melt into the kiss.

Once he pulls away you’re both gasping for air. Out of embarrassment, he hides his face in your neck. He’s embarrassed- you are too. “A-a little warning would’ve been nice. I was talking yknow?” “Shut up before I kiss you again..” You knew he was too embarrassed to do it again so you teased, “Yeah, I think you’d like that-“ Instead of another passionate kiss he instead peppered kisses all over your face. “I hate you.” “I love you, Scara.”

•

•

•

The wedding went amazing since his parents had done most of the planning (of course you both directed them) And your baby shower went just as well! Initially, you were both worried a certain someone would catch wind of it- and you’re sure he did. Thankfully the place was heavily guarded (, courtesy of Miko) and was also in a secluded area, along with there being a very strict guest list. You both already knew the gender so the part just consisted of fun baby shower games and many gifts from your friends and families.

You had been getting intensive therapy for the rest of your pregnancy. Those couple of months left you with deeper wounds than you had thought. Of course, you still have trouble with going out on your own and you’ve completely dropped going out (since you’re a mother now ofc) When you do have to go out alone you wear your hair differently each time along with a mask and sunglasses. Whenever someone gets a little too close they happen to get stopped by someone. Your bad dreams usually consist of you trying to run away but your legs move slowly or trying to scream but nothing comes out, and other things you’d rather not discuss...

Your delivery went well and luckily you gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Ei and Miko informed you that you had a week to name him. On the fifth day, you and Scara decided on [name], since you both liked the name and agreed on it. When both of the families came to see him you got the chance to meet Scara’s aunt and sister (who both happened to be named Makoto, although Scara called his sister Raiden since she was “scary”) The boy was blessed with your hair color (he has a red streak through it) but had his fathers eyes. At first, it scared you but with some affirming words from both sides of the family and your lover, you’ve grown to love them.

Some of your friends and family didn’t approve that Scara wasn’t the father, some even berating you and calling you names. The name-calling mostly came from Scara’s side of the family. Area

On your son's first birthday, he spoke his first words. “Mama!” You nearly cried tears of joy when he said that. Scaramouche frowned and pinched the boy's cheeks gently with a huff. Much to his surprise the boy spoke again, “Daddy!” Now both of you were crying tears of joy. You swaddled your boy in the softest blankets before you both cuddled him off to sleep. Both not believing you had been blessed with such a joy.

Once your son has gotten a little older he learned how to say the cat’s name, always gesturing his hands and babbling, “Meowmeow!” The now healthier cat would come to the boy and rub its head against your son accompanied by a purr.

Once he turned two years old you noticed how he started taking after his father, often mimicking him by making an angry face and huffing. All you could do was smile and kiss him while his father pouted behind you both. One time you had joked around with your young son by asking him, “What face does daddy make when he’s angry” and your son crossed his arms with a scowl on his face. You burst out laughing while your husband messed with his hair pretending to be upset.

You went back to work while Scara was a stay-at-home husband. On stressful days you would come home, sore and tired, but the moment your eyes laid on Scara’a resting figure along with your sons. Well, your heart simply melted into mush as you took about 30 pictures of them from all angles. You were convinced that all of the time you spent alone and suffering was worth it for this moment.

It felt like that person was a bad dream- but now, you’re wide awake and ready to face the future with your loving husband, and adorable son.

Gawdamn I don’t stop yapping🙏 If you read all of this ty pookie!! there will be a $10 mil block of gold under your pillow when you wake up 😍😋 I will be writing some hcs (maybe) and a scenario where u encounter kazuha w your kid soon!!! (i promise) Anyways i’m knocking tf out… BAI><!!

♡ taglist: @swivy123

[kaynk8]

The eighth sin

When a part of the land on the territory of an Irish women's convent was given to the Vikings' settlement, the nuns had to learn how to coexist with people who stroke deadly fear into them.

A young nun Erin catches Ivar's eye and now her faith undergoes severe questioning

🔴Warnings: religion, slight dubious consent, first kiss, mentioning of alcohol, smut, slow burn

Chapter masterlist

@ivarlover ❤️

Chapter IV, Invidia (Envy) Pt.1

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept alone in their room before Maeve fell ill so that even during the time of her absence it still seemed as if the girl was sleeping on the next bed. So when she heard the door squeak in the middle of the night, Erin’s drowsy mind didn’t suspect anything until somebody shook her by the arm.

‘Erin,’ the voice called out to her from the darkness.

She got up abruptly only by purest chance avoiding banging her head into the caller. She was about to say something but Aislin put her finger to her mouth.

‘Shh, Erin, it’s me.’ Aislin whispered. ‘You need to help me.’

‘What hap…’ but she trailed off as she saw the girl’s huge terrified eyes.

‘Aaron… he was here. We…’ but Aislin didn’t have to go on. Shaken with the realization, Erin woke up instantly. She couldn’t believe the girl could even talk or do anything after what she’d just done. Her Sister in Christ - willingly lying with a man – worse – with a pagan! She’ll burn in hell forever for her weakness. Is this ever possibly forgivable? What if somebody knows? All her insides clenched sour and it suddenly became so cold that Erin started trembling even thought it was quite warm in the room.

She put her hand to her open mouth.

‘Aislin! Oh my god, are you serious?’ Erin could hardly speak with her tongue that’s gone dry.

‘Come with me. Please.’

She threw the blanket aside in a quick move and jumped to her feet. The panic rose in her chest. They had no time to talk. They had to get rid of the evidences – whatever they might be – as soon as possible.

They walked through the silent dark hall quietly, passing the closed doors where nuns were sleeping soundly and had no clue of their Sister’s terrifying act.

When they got into Aislin’s room they could finally light a lamp. Even though it didn’t provide especially much light, Erin’s head ached so hard so that she would prefer to have no light at all.

Aislin grabbed a crumpled bed sheet that was piled next to her bed and Erin took the lamp from the nightstand. She was grateful that they didn’t have to stay longer in that room. Even the air felt filthy and soaked with male scent.

They walked into the laundry room and Erin put the lamp on the windowpane hoping nobody would happen to go near to see it. Even thought it was the dead of night, she’s just become a witness that life goes on even when the light goes out.

The candle inside the lamp flickered frantically as if its light wanted to escape this sinful scene.

Erin would wish to take a moment to pray because things were too heavy to grasp but both her hands were busy. Moreover each second was on stake.

They filled one of the basins with cold water and placed it onto two stools. Aislin dipped the sheet into the water. She applied some soap on the cloth and started rubbing the blood stain energetically with her hands.

‘Should have made that horndog clean that up. Ugh. I’m still bleeding I guess. Can you imagine?’ She stopped rubbing and turned around to check if there was no blood on her night gown. But it was spotless.

The locks of her hair constantly fell on her face and because she touched them with her wet hands they stuck to her more. Erin first thought was that Aislin finally gave up and let her hair be cut off but then noticed that the rest of its length was hidden beneath the collar of her gown.

‘Oh, Aislin!’ Erin signed so hard it seemed she breathed out all the air from her lungs and her head span immediately. ‘You ought to confess this when there’s a chance, you just have to…you can’t go on living with a thing like this.’ Her voice dropped to whisper.

‘I just confessed... to you,’ she said it so impossibly calmly as if they were not talking about the greatest sin a nun could commit. She stretched the place where the bloodstain was above water and turned it towards the light to see if there was anything left on it.

‘But I have no right to give absolutions… ’

‘Erin, there’s no way I’m telling this to anyone else.’

‘But…’

‘And I don’t need any absolutions,’ Aislin threw the sheet back into water, still holding it by its edges, and turned her face to Erin. The girl saw Aislin’s fists clench crumpling the wet fabric. ‘I don’t…’ she bit at her lower lip, ‘… regret a moment of it.’ Her eyes glistened wistfully in the candlelight.

It was impossible to hear, it was impossible to know that God hears her too. She wanted to grab her Sister by the shoulders and shake those cruel words and thoughts out from her. Wanted to cry and plead her to make, at least, a slightest attempt to save her soul. Erin pressed her lips together to hide the trembling. She could literally feel the pain that was on her face when their eyes met.

Suddenly they heard rapid steps and another source of light flowed into the room.

‘What’s going on here?’ Karen’s curious eyes pierced into the two girls. Like elder nuns, she was wearing a black veil, even in their house among her Sisters she never allowed herself to show up with her head uncovered.

‘What does it look like?’ Aislin cocked her head to one side waiting for the respond.

‘You couldn’t do it in the morning?’

‘Do I have to sleep on it?’

‘You both are hiding something. And what is it that you have to confess?’ She made a step forward and Erin’s muscles tensed. Karen put her candle higher and her eyes, sunk in the shadow, looked like two black hollows.

‘Nobody told you it’s impolite to eavesdrop? What I have to confess is just none of your business, Sister Karen.’ Aislin’s face now was all confidence.

‘Oh, well, what a shame that it is,’ Karen threw a posed look at her nails.

Aislin raised a curious eyebrow and stared back at the girl.

‘Because I happened to hear a male voice coming from room. I knew it was you! It was you I saw with a pagan! You slept with him? Imagine what Abbess would say if she knows.’ Karen spat that out with such a pleasure as if Holy blessing fell upon her after these words.

‘A male voice? Here? Are you out of your mind?’ Aislin shot Erin a quick ironic glare before bringing her attention back to Karen. Erin pretended to be shocked and forced a sarcastic laugh. She was greatly surprised at how naturally Aislin said it. So convincing that Erin herself suddenly started to have doubts if she really didn’t make up all the talks with the girl before.

‘Can’t even think of what dreams you were seeing to start hearing male voices. Slept with him, really? I wonder what Abbess would say when she knows how vivid your imagination is.’ Aislin imitated Karen’s voice when saying the last phrase. She turned away from her and dipped the sheet into the water to rub it again.

‘The thing is I wasn’t sleeping, Sister Aislin.’

‘Oh, Dear Lord, Karen! What do you want from me? If you are hearing things, maybe you need a doctor as Maeve? I got my monthly bleeding’s all. No man’s involved, apparently.’

'Right. Maeve. You two dragged this innocent girl into pagans’ pit. Because of you she’ll rot in hell for eternity.' She gazed at them maliciously.

Erin couldn’t take it anymore.

‘Would you prefer her to die?’ She spoke up and looked at Karen with irritation. ‘You personally did nothing to help. Don’t bring Maeve into this, she was suffering, she couldn’t make her own decisions. If you want to blame it on somebody, blame it on me. And believe me I’d go to hell for her.’

‘I wonder you’d be so brave to repeat this to Abbess. I’m truly convinced she’d be pretty curious to hear of how much you want to go down. And don't say I did nothing! I prayed! I prayed each second and never lost faith in our Lord unlike you! ’ She turned abruptly and walked away.

‘Abbess this, Abbess that, I swear the girl has eyes and ears everywhere. If one day she were to replace Abbess, no one would notice. A snake.’ Aislin muttered irritably.

‘She’ll tell her about you, you know her. You’re ruined.’ Erin was looking at the girl, pressing her hands to her cheeks.

'Help me,' Aislin ignored her preaching and pointed at the sheet soaked up and heavy with water.

'I’m not ruined, Erin,' Aislin said in a few moments. 'If you don't tell anyone. Karen's her pet but she sometimes overacts and everyone knows it. I hope Abbess is not as crazy as to believe that somebody really brought a man here.'

‘But, well,’ Erin couldn't help scoffing though it was not funny at all. ‘You did.’

Aislin smiled leniently without saying anything. She moved the sheet quickly, wringing the water out of it, while Erin was assisting her. They folded it into halves and put on the clothes line. It didn’t use to be inside but they hung it there after the Norsemen came and it became too dangerous to go out when they happened to need it. Unfortunately, they were not granted any mercy on that point and it was not a rare case when girls had to get up in the middle of the night because of unplanned accidents.

Erin was sitting on her bed with the open Bible in front of her. The candle on her nightstand almost burned out and the pale light from the rising sun crept into her room through small windows.

‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.’ She scratched the words with her finger. They were so plain and unburdening and so… unreachable. The freezing horror seized her soul when she was thinking Aislin’s words over. How come she doesn’t regret? Is it possible for a woman to become this corrupted, this unreasonable because of a man? How could this ever happen to Aislin when she’s always been so strong in her will but then…

But then Erin’s heart fell.

What she accused her of was all wrong. She was so totally wrong. When had Aislin ever needed anyone’s help? Never had. Of course Aislin realized everything, of course, she understood. Otherwise she wouldn’t have come to her. She needed her. Instead of hiding things and doing everything on her own, she came to Erin’s room. She, too, was afraid, just didn’t show it.

God forgives everyone. Murderers, thieves, whores… his mercy is endless. And Aislin, lost and misguided, will be forgiven, too.

***

Erin was coming here on the same regular basis as she was coming to the chapel to pray. Abbess gave them a reluctant permission to visit Maeve but forbade going to the Norsemen’s settlement alone. Although, it was said in such a manner that felt like she just was obliged to say it and never have anything to do with the whole story any more.

Their settlement wasn’t huge and Erin was never afraid to get lost. Almost every time she came she knew exactly where she could find Helga or Ivar. She knew where Maeve was and was allowed to visit her whenever she wished.

A thin and joyful sound of pipe met her as she stepped on their territory. The melody swam through the field as if setting the rhythm of the day. People around seemed especially energetic and the atmosphere of an upcoming celebration was in the air. Three girls in impeccable white gowns were lying in the grass surrounded by flowers and weaving flower wreaths. Their beauty and youth were blooming with colorful flowers crowning their heads.

A huge bonfire had already been prepared. But what made Erin stop and take a look was a huge cross in the middle of it. It was a strange cross. It looked like a spear because it had a triangle on top of it and two circles attached to the bottom sides of this triangle. It was completely covered with green leaves and decorated with flowers. She wondered what they were going to celebrate this time. It was St. John’s today and she knew some villagers still celebrated Goddess Aine’s day, even though the Church forbade it. However, the Norsemen hardly planned to honor an Irish goddess, nor St. John either. She could anticipate blood of animals they were sure to sacrifice again and so she thought it would be much better if she got away from here before everything started.

She saw Ivar in the distance and was about to wave at him but then she stopped watching when a blonde girl ran up to him. At first Erin thought it was Helga but then she recognized it was one of the girls who were making wreaths. Flowers and stems of grass woven into the wreath on her head encircled her fair face and suited too well to her long beautiful hair Erin would never ever be allowed to grow. She was clenching a bunch of wild flowers in her both hands. Ivar and the girl smiled at each other playfully and for a couple minutes they seemed to be talking. Then she picked the biggest flower and made a gesture for Ivar to lean closer. She tucked it into his braid and laughed joyfully admiring her work. Then Ivar leaned even closer and Erin thought he was about to kiss the girl but suddenly in a quick movement he took the wreath from her head and placed it on his. The girl touched her head to smooth her disheveled hair and jumped to grab the wreath from Ivar’s head but was too short. She made a face at him and tried to jump higher, holding at his shirt, but he was quicker to dodge her.

They seemed so happy together that a painful heat suddenly flooded over Erin’s chest. For some reason that scene gave her an unpleasant feeling. The feeling she knew she wasn’t supposed to feel.

She never sought for Ivar’s attention. And yet, he somehow made her feel special. And she realized she didn’t like the idea of it slipping away. She should be grateful that God showed her this. Led her away from the sin she might draw herself into like Aisling had. But her possessive side, which Erin never though she had in her, tried to tear its way out with its sticky little claws.

She walked as fast as she could to the tent where Maeve was, hoping to get away unnoticed, but somehow he saw her.

‘Erin!’ she pretended not to hear and didn’t slow her pace but he caught up with her quicker than she expected.

‘Hello.’

‘It really makes me happy to see you so often,’ Ivar smiled at Erin as he came up to her. ‘If only the circumstances were different. Got Midsommer.’ He nodded to a man passing by who said the same to him.

Ivar was all shining and beaming and seemed sincerely happy. Erin might really have thought that it was because of her, had she not seen what had happened before. Why he was in such an upbeat mood was obvious to her. And, sadly, she was not the reason.

She gave him a restrained smile. She was fighting the sourness but it turned out to be shown on her face.

‘Is everything alright?’

‘Yes. Are you celebrating something?’ Erin hurried to distract him from going into details. She looked around at the commotion in the settlement.

‘Yes, Midsommer. Would you like to join?’

Erin frowned, giving him half sarcastic are-you-serious look.

He clicked his tongue in a fake disappointment.

‘I got it. Next time then. By the way, your friend is much better,’ Ivar’s face lit with a reassuring smile.

They approached a big tent which looked almost triangular and was covered with some animal’s shabby skin. It didn’t cover the whole hut so it showed the skeleton of a weird building through the holes. It still made Erin wonder how one can live in the conditions like these but gradually was getting used to seeing it every day.

A boy probably of Maeve’s age was standing at the entrance and peeking inside.

''Schas!' Ivar tiptoed behind his back and slapped him on the shoulder. The boy shrugged and turned around, clearly not expecting anyone to catch him.

Ivar said something in his tongue, caught him by the ear and pulled him aside jokingly. They boy laughed awkwardly and hurried to walk away.

Ivar lifted the cloth hanging at the entrance and made an inviting gesture for Erin to come inside.

[personasintro]

I know that a lot of people have said such stuff, but for you to just read this massage would warm up my heart. As i hope that the happiness you deserve, never will be brokan again by these annoying haters. I will try to make it short......

First of all, dont mind my English. It's not my first language, so I'll try my best.....

We have seen so many nasty comments about mh and the way people want it to be written. And sorry not sorry I am just over it. I mean, everyone knows that wherever you go, there will be some assholes that will be hating on nothing. But I am just getting tired of this, and I couldn't even imagine how tired you would have been by now. So for all the bitches (🤍) that are pissing me and mimi off. PLEASE just stop complaining about every single shit. Yall are probably the cause of all the shit yall complaining about. I heard that one of the possible reasons for mh's delete could be cuz of the amount of complains that has been about the story. Many times, has this been said, but for hopefully the last time ill say.....

JUST FUCKING LEAVE IF THE STORY IS NOT TO YOUR LIKING COMPLAINING WILL JUST MAKE IT WORSE CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY MIMI WILL WRITE THE WAY SHE WANTS THE STORY TO BE WRITTEN AND THATS HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO BE!

Well, this was my massage to the annoying haters. I hope that they will shut up for once, and I hope that mimi will forever get the support she deserves❤️ and for yall bitches, go complain about amazing work and it's amazing writer somewhere else🫶🏻

Thankyou😊

I’ve received so many messages full of love and support and I’m incredibly thankful to have readers like you guys! You’ve no idea how much this means to me and helps me when things are rough 🩵🫶 thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[bamgyw]

i’m so sorry for this rant in advance😭. for a little backstory i’m 20 and i’ve been with my boyfriend since i was 15. he is pretty much perfect. he is supportive of my passions, he is understanding, he is sweet, and we have sooo much in common. lately ive been feeling extra lost and down due to (most likely) going off of anti depressants that i have also been on for 5 years. i feel very confused about who i am and also have been disassociating which is something ive never experienced before. ugh im so sorry this is getting so deep😭. i really do love him but im just so confused on if i’m IN love with him anymore. i mean we try to be intimate but the past few years due to body changes and stuff it’s really hard for me to find pleasure in it. when i read fictional things i definitely enjoy that (thanks father rey🫡) but it’s so hard when it’s actually real life. in the past i’ve also become like infatuated or had “crushes” on other people during our relationship but obviously of course never acted EVER on these feelings. when i would look things up people would say these things are normal so i would try not to dwell on it. but right now there is nobody that i have feelings for (at least that’s real or someone i know) yet i still feel distant from my boyfriend. our lives are so intertwined in literally every aspect and we have so many memories together. i can’t possibly imagine my life without him and it scares me thinking of a future where he isn’t the one that i’m with. life would be so different than what it has been and he is my best friend as well. the thought of us not being together devastates me. even with all of these things i can’t help but imagine my life sometimes if i were to be with other people or just be single and move some where across the world and live all of these unrealistic dreams that i have. sometimes i feel like i’m settling. not because he isn’t good enough but because it’s the exact opposite. he is too good and deserves all the love in the world. i want to be in love with him so badly. i just don’t know if i am anymore. like are these fleeting feelings that will go away or is this just my mental illness speaking?? i don’t know anything anymore. all that i know if that I actually just don’t know anything at all anymore. everything hurts so much. being an infp on top of this makes it so much worse😩. i’m not even expecting you to know an answer to this of course but i haven’t even told anyone in my life the way i’ve been feeling. i’m scared that if i say it out loud things will change. i just hurt so much every single day and this has been going on for over a month now. somehow it feels like an eternity though. thank you for taking the time to even read or respond to this😭❤️

well first off, breathe and take this virtual kiss on your forehead. mwah. this is painfully complex, which makes it very human, too. and that is good. it means we're alive and functioning. i promise that all this hurt won't last forever. it never does. we got this !!

i'm sorry for taking so long to reply to you :(, i wanted my thoughts to be somewhat meditated so i could make sense and be as helpful as humanly possible.

also, please don't apologise. you all keep apologising when you think you're bothering me or annoying me or sending asks too long WHICH IS NEVER TRUE so yeah, there's none of that in reyville. we're all really cool no matter what.

and if only the act of sharing this has been useful in the slightest, even just for the relief value of venting, then it was more than worth it and i'm really glad you did !!

first thing is the going off meds. antidepressants are bitch. i don't know which ones you were taking specifically, but usually what they do is numb you out instead of taking away your pain, right? they don't make you feel less shitty, just limit your ability to feel at all. which is fucked up, because the day you stop taking them all the pain comes to you at once. and you don't know what to do with yourself and you feel miserable and you don't even know why.

so. i'm no one and i know nothing. still. i am your friend from the internet, which is a sacred bestie bond, so i'm gonna try to be as honest as i possibly can.

but ultimately you're the person who knows yourself the best (you're literally you), so the wisest and most valuable opinion is always your own, which is fucking scary because freedom is a prison. but you're cool and i trust you, so.

so (and again, i'm not a psychiatrist i'm a rando on the internet), i think you're right when you say that going off the meds might be a reason why you're in so much pain. you need to be patient and allow your brain some time to balance the chemicals and get used to working on its own.

but beyond that, you're feeling shitty and lost, which absolutely fucking sucks. your pain is here and widespread and tangible and so we need to cope with that now !!

when you talk about that inability to feel pleasure, again, mental illness is literally crippling. so you shouldn't press yourself about not being able to enjoy getting intimate with your boyfriend. just take your time and get comfortable with yourself first.

and don't get the concepts of love and attraction confused !! you struggling a little to get turned on does absolutely not mean that you love him any less. asexual people exist, and they date and get married !!

love comes in so many different ways, even within one person. so don't be scared because things aren't as they used to. even if you were feeling great emotionally, things like this happen all the time and it's alright !! your libido might not always be on the high, and so what? and with all that's going on inside your head, it's understandable that you can't enjoy getting intimate.

i feel like i can't advise you to tell your boyfriend about this because i don't really know him and i don't know how he would react. but you do know him !! so if you trust him and you think it's safe, in time and whenever you're comfortable, talk to him. your mental health is your right and duty, but this involves him as well, so maybe he deserves to know. (and he definitely will be able to help you. more than me, at least).

the precise point of it being not real is that there is no risk, nothing to lose. you're allowed to be at your most open and comfortable. that's why fic writing is often brought up in conversations about feminist sexual liberation, because in real life there are little to none safe spaces for girls. so they, we (assuming that you share this experience) wouldn't get a chance to explore our sexuality were it not for fiction. (i rambled i'm sorry).

still, i don't think your libido is entirely broken? you mentioned only getting turned on by fiction, but that's literally so common. if it weren't, the idol industry would totally crumble.

it's pretty simple, in fiction there's no danger to the relationship, no actual commitment and no threat of failure. it's not real, it has no effect in your life. so all those worries that clog up your brain in real life and that paralyse you—do i still love him, do i love him like he deserves, what would i do without him— those ugly but very necessary parts of a relationship are just gone.

that's the beauty of literature of any genre, it's a chance to try and fail without real consequences. an exploration.

but it can also be a great source of dissatisfaction, when real life feels dull and not enough. there's a beauty to that dullness too, though sometimes it is a little harder to see. that's where the deep bond with your boyfriend comes to play.

there's the line (this is stupid, sorry, it just reminded me of it) in the intro to the new ariana grande album. "how can i tell if i'm in the right relationship? aren't you really supposed to know that shit? feel it in your bones and own that shit?"

you mentioned he's your best friend, and i think that's so cherishable. personally, i value having someone to share life with so much, (i'm terrified of being alone, and now i'm supposed to insert some lame joke to make it goofy) but i also understand that great fear of not being satisfied in that kind of traditional, unbreakable concept of relationship.

i think fear of commitment is so much deeper than people usually make it out to be. he's perfect, but is he perfect for me? no one is ever gonna make me feel this safe and loved, but also, why does it feel like it's not enough? it fucking sucks.

but there's so many external things that can be triggering all those thoughts. things neither you nor your boyfriend can control.

there's the antidepressants. there's the fact that you've been with your boyfriend since you were fifteen?? that's so fucking young, you were babies !! you don't know how to live a life without your boyfriend because you practically never have. there's the combination of everything that just results in that anxiety storm which might also be causing you to wanna run away and live a completely different life !!

whatever you do, just remember that there's no such thing as a bad choice. you have a right to be curious and want to explore other ways of life, and you also have a right to look for stability with your boyfriend. they're both scary, and there's a lot of pondering to do. but i believe in you !!

your boyfriend is so important, and he deserves all the best. but the best is almost never pretending that everything's going fine so that he doesn't get upset. loving him like he deserves might mean talking to him earnestly about everything you're feeling, or even a sincere break up.

and please don't take this as me encouraging you to break up with him. only you know if that's the right choice. i just want you to walk without guilt into whatever path you think it's the right one.

as you think about all this, love yourself a lot. that'll make everything easier. (cliché but true) you need integrity and a lot of self-respect to make the best possible decisions, for you and for everyone you love.

please try to not get anxious. to keep your head a little cold and your heart calm. if not, your fears will turn into these irrational bloodthirsty monsters and every decision will feel like it's life or death. it's not, it's gonna be okay.

talk to yourself as you would talk to dear friend, be supportive of yourself. sometimes it even helps to put yourself in a third person pov and think about your problems as if they were happening to a character !! (again, the holy power of story).

and don't hesitate to send in as many asks as you need and talk to me about anything !!

i hope i didn't make too many stupid points during this long ass speech, and i hope i didn't tell you too many things you already knew. i really want you to feel better, and i trust that you will.

be strong !! a hundred thousand kisses.

[waywardsou2]

IM WATCHING THE FINALE OF ROTTMNT SOMEONE SEND HELP I AM DYING. I AM SOBBING AT ALL OF THIS. THEY KNEW KARAI FOR 10 MINUTES AND NOW SHES GONE. THIS IS SO HEART FELT AND SO SAD AND SO BROKEN AND IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND! I don’t know if I can commit to this.

I’ll keep this thread going but damn is this a lot to take in.

AND RAPH CARRYING EVERYONE AND HAVING TO HOLD LEO BACK AND SPLINTER AND DRUXUM BEING THAT AWESOME DADS THAT THEY ARE, STAYINF BEHIND TO STAVE OFF SHREDDER.

Aaaaa

Pt 2:

OMG LAST EPISODE BEFORE THE MOVIE AND I AM FREAKING OUT. AND CASSANDRA?! OMG I KNOW HER HEART IS IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT OMG. THIS IS GONNA BE INSANE

also is shredder voiced by the same guy that voiced splinter in 2012? Coz if that’s the case I’m gonna die, yk again

I also thought Draxum was gonna betray them, but thank god he didn’t. I love Him too much

This is going to end my life. I hope my boys are gonna be ok.

OMG OK HERE IT IS, FINAL BATTLE. AAAA

Pt 3.

OMIGOSH OK WOW. I JUST FINISHED IT BUT IVE GOT WORK SO ILL HAVE TO WSTCH THE MOVIE LATER. BUT GOD DAMN THAT WAS EPIC. WHY DID I NOT GIVE THIS SHOW THE BENIFIT OF THE DOUBT WHEN IT CAME OUT YEARS AGO. WHAT WAS I THINKING. I CANT WAIT TO WATCH THE MOIVE!!!

Pt 4.

ITS MOVIE TIME, HERE WE GO, MY SHIFT IS OVER AND I COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS THE ENTIRE TIME, SO IM NOT GONNA WASTE ANYMORE PRECIOUS MINUTES, AND GET INTO IT!!!

Pt 5.

OMG THAT MOVIE WAS AMAZING, WHY DID I WAIT 5 YEARS TO START WATCHING THAT FRANCHISE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WHAT WAS I THINKING!? THAT MOVIE WAS FANTASTIC, ITS SO WHOLESOME AND RELATABLE AND HEARTWARMING. OMGGGGGGG! THAT IS AN AWESOME FAMILY MOIVE. BRUH OMG. ok ok but seriously I do have some actual things to say.

1. I’m sad that we didn’t get to see future Donnie and raph or much of the future at all, that sorta felt like a really big chunk that was just kinda missing. Maybe that’ll be cleared up in the new season/s coming out soon.

2. I wanna see what happens to Casey, I want him to meet his mum or something like that, because that is awesome.

3. The power of family is such an amazing element to me because realistically, they can’t be family they are different spiecies of turtles and their dad is a rat and their…dad is a yokai BUT THAT MAKES IT FOUND FAMILY. And I fucking love that even more. I never understood the unrequited love of family but found family makes it so much more close to home for me. I love them

4. DONNIE IS FUCKING AWESOME. I KNEW HE WAS MY FAVOURITE FOR A REASON. HELL YEAH!

5. This whole thing was a blast and an emotional rollercoaster and I really recommend it to anyone who hasn’t seen it (but let’s face it I’m the one that’s late to the party here) but holy fuck yes, awesome movie, awesome part of the franchisee, turtles forever

COWABUNGA!!!

💙🐢

❤️🐢

💜🐢

🧡🐢

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

I have been gone forever.... It's time I stop lurking....... Okay but fr I really have not been in your asks forever 😭 I have been keeping up with things though 🗣️��🔥 bro I can't cause I have been so sentimental and emotional lately!!! What is wrong with me!!! I just cried over how my brother used to look up to me and now he like hates my guts 😞💔 everyone around has felt my sappy, cheesy wrath too.... I think I'm making the loml borderline uncomfortable with how lovey dovey I've been! I mean not really uncomfy LMAO, but like it's very unusual for me. He and I got into an argument the other day and I couldn't stop saying my feelings without saying it in such a harsh manner, which is like not me?!?? I mean I nag him with problems all the time but I usually try to be gentle about it, I got so emotional and angry that I wouldn't be gentle bro!!! I wasn't like intentionally trying to make him feel like nothing, it was more of me being less understanding. The calm soft words id say were sharp and harsh, like everything I was saying had a harsh manner 😭💔 i felt so bad, I seriously did. I was tempted to give him this super long apology but I know he hates super long apologies so i held back on it, but I think I've been super emotional and stuff beCAUSE of that and now I can't stop saying how much I love him yadda yadda. I'm so lovesick for him 💔 but now I'm trying to stop nagging him and be yk ME again!! I've been so off 😡 can you tell loneliness has caught up to me...... I fear I'm losing my aura in this ask but oh well!! It's anonymous not like you know who I am 🗣️🔥🔥

Basically tho, this current writing you're doing is actually so well written!!!? I mean your stories and whatnot are always extremely good, but the complexity of gojos character right now?? LET ME DIVE IN!!! What happened???! Maybe you've explained it somewhere and I don't remember, but why is lil bro pursuing hookups for comfort!! Why does he avoid any sort of feelings!! Gojo LOCK IN!!! WE ALL JUST HAVE TO LOCK IN!!!!!!! Anyways, hope you didn't miss my long asks too much 🤞 perhaps... I'll be around more often..... (Oh bruh my sleep schedule is so cooked!! I finally laid down to sleep at like 5 pm, I slept for like 4 hours and ik it's gonna be a repeat of staying up all night and then falling asleep at 5 pm and waking up 4 hours later 😭😭💔)((it's caused me to miss my sweetie pies message today!!!! I have got to wake up 😡😡))

Your beautiful amazing talented fan,

-👽 anon (gosh yes praise my return!!!) ((you prob forgot anyway LMAO IM JUST EMBARRASSING MYSELF ATP 😭))

OMG 👽 ANON HELLO!!!! it really has felt like forever….! glad to see u back!!

i think something is going on in the universe bc i’ve also been emotional and sentimental especially with my lover… could potentially just be my meds tho but ill blame it on the stars ! i hope u get back to normal soon ❤️

THANK U SM THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME CONSIDERING I FELT LIKE YHIS SMAU HAS BEEN A FLOP…. and he briefly mentioned it in his little monologue during the party at choso’s house

rip ur sleep schedule… and yes plz come around more often again!!!!

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Tuesday, February 20th, 2024! Part 2 (Positive)

6:24pm: 2sday, 02/20/2024 pt 2 lots of 2s

Anyway lol came home, blew the biggest final boss wad out of my nose, took a dump and let me tell you I'm smelling colors now 😂 I've never been so happy to smell my shit. I was really fucking scared that I had covid on some permanent sensory deprivation shit and I was on the verge of losing my mind. This morning I have never blown so much ODDLY colored snot out of my nose all at once before, it was like the weirdest fucking orange color but it's like I want to think it was from the cough drops but I really don't think it was because there was SO MUCH and it permeated all of the snot I just don't know. It was all so thick no wonder I've just been fucking miserable 😅 but I'm the biggest trooper I know I did the most this weekend and I'm SO GLAD I didn't let that mf stop me.

So glad I got my sense of smell and taste back I could actually taste the last Valentine's Day macaron I had left 😂 it must have been a sinus infection, that's so insane. Being sick is horrible I wouldn't wish it on anyone 👀

I have so many things to be grateful for. I am grateful that I don't have to live my life angry and upset forever like some people. I am grateful that I forgive people and have an amazing heart. I love life and I'm just going to keep doing the best I can with what I've got. ❤️ I love my cats every day I'm just going to love them with all my heart, don't be scared something will happen to them (anxiety) just love them everyday and you'll never have any regrets. I even forgive him for everything, calling me a shitty person, threatening my brother, all because he's just mentally ill. I have a feeling he'll be back, I just don't think that was the end. But that's not something I'll concern myself with for now. Just try to be at peace with what's going on right now.

7:52pm: I've literally just been scrolling on my phone enjoying doing nothing to the sound of my clear nasal passages and just enjoying breathing. Got my heated blanket out, just reading reddit stories about trash men and I am so glad I can't relate anymore!! It's not even so visceral anymore, I don't get like physically angry the way I used to reading these anymore. I feel very healed, it takes a lot to trigger me anymore. I think that's my way of knowing that I just will never fall for some crazy shit ever again 😂 I'm not even upset anymore. All that random ranting this morning and now it's like, poof! Goodbye. I knew I've been done in the back of my head, I was just enjoying the attention :) it felt good! You can't blame me for wanting to feel good, it's part of human nature! And it's not like I ever felt true respect for their relationship, it was truly a farce, an act, and I just didn't gaf. Oh how the turn tables, huh? I got mine as far as I'm concerned and I'm well convinced that is a really fucked up man. It's unfortunate, but it's not like I never tried to help him 1000x. I still am shocked how unempathetic I felt towards her even when bad things happen to her, I just don't feel bad for her and I never will, she's a really trashy, vain, disgusting person who does not deserve empathy or sympathy as far as I'm concerned. Lmao I feel like he would really get pissed off whenever I said they were perfect for each other, I think bc he knows exactly what I meant by it. What a joke.

10:39pm: it's ok to wake up from the nap and realize he's really gone :) you'll sleep and wake up again and sleep and wake up and good things will happen :) it's ok to feel the twang. This is a perfect example of how I would never do this to someone I've known for years but it's nothing for him to do it to me. We are not the same and that's good news for me :) I will survive and thrive because I'm actually a good person with a heart. At least I own my mistakes. He's too chicken shit to accept my apology like a fucking adult, he just had to run away again, no explanation. He never learns, never changes, acts like this is something I've done before?? Really thinks this something I'd do on purpose. Idc I know who I am, you would think he would know but he seems too self absorbed once again. How could he not realize how his words affect people, he's cruel. I'm not cruel, you hurt me and I told you I was having PTSD like feelings about you coming here and you always have acted like you're the only mf in the whole goddamn world with mental health issues, I've tiptoed around yours for years and you continued to dismiss mine repeatedly. Yeah I don't trust you mf and it's sad af how hard I tried to, but sad for you, not me.

12:16am: Coward is so the best word to describe him still, he acted cowardly by not even knocking on the door when he came the first night, so weird. Coward by blocking me when so many other exes would've burned his shit. Makes no sense, but nothing he ever did made sense ever. He treats his gf like shit by telling me wack ass things. He's such a bad person lol. I'm not gonna chase after him anymore I already resurrected this friendship back from the email grave once, I guess somehow that meant I was on thin ice with him?? Idc I'm not chasing him anymore. The comfort I find within knowing I would never act like him is all the comfort I need.

[polydeuces]

𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫: austin butler x black fem! reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your husband austin is away shooting dune part two. you start to go down memory lane when you realize how much you miss him and your little family you have together.

— requests are open !

liked by pollyannabennett, florencepugh, and 3,959,294 others

therealy/n: do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there? is your heart filled with pain, shall i come back again? tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

view all 39,925 comments

rileykeough: I wonder if you're lonesome tonight?

devonleecarlson: crying. this is so bittersweet :(

florencepugh: you'll see him soon, darling! tell the baby i can't wait to see them blossom in the world!

emmalouisecorrin: coming over and i’m bringing ice cream 🍨

tessamaethompson: i want a love like your love.

pollyannabennett: two souls bound to fall deeply in love.

nattyiceofficail: ohh my heart is melting

altonmason: tell your man to stop texting me about how you're doing! love you btw

anyataylorjoy: a love that not only Shakespeare could write

liked by y/nistrouble, auspresley, viadejonge4ever, and 129,294 others

y/nbutlerupdates: not abt y/n/n, but about her husband. pic a fan took of florence pugh and austin butler out to dinner in budapest. 2022. flo and aus are in budapest filming dune part two. photo via arnoldicaro on instagram.

view all 59,922 comments

gowiththeflo: flo looks so cute omg & this duo is everything

y/nistrouble: take the hat off, butler i wanna see the hair.

auspresley: he can do anything and ill fall apart

viajonge4ever: HES IN DUNE PART TWO?? SINCE WJEN??

austindaily: the fake picture of your friend trick a classic

mydarlingy/n: y/n is so damn lucky

liked by bazluhrmann, olivia_dejonge, and 5,284,838 others

austinbutler: I feel so honored to have loved you for as long as I have and to create something so beautiful with you. Thank you, my love, for being my rock. Thank you for supporting everything I do. You are divine. I can’t wait to see you and to see my family once again. I adore you.

View all 62,824 comments

they/nbulter: to quote Ian McEwan, “I’ve never had a moment’s doubt. I love you. I believe in you completely. You are my dearest one. My reason for life.” You’re a star. 🤍

ausfan29: 🥺❤️❤️

bazluhrmann: To be killing it in the industry and be such a dotting husband- and father - is hard work but you have excelled at it. Can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and your family.

y/naus35: stopp im sobbing sliding down the wall!! this is so cute!!

olivia_dejonge: I’m so happy that y/n came into your life. You have a permanent smile etched onto your face now, you guys are a perfect duo! (Soon to be trio!!) send me baby pics Xx

y/nfan29: husband!aus in real life?? omg ??

_ashleybee_ : So proud of you Austin! I cherish the times you and y/n/n come over and now you’ll have a little one around too!! Can’t wait. Love you!

cancely/n: PR RELATIONSHIP!!! ⚠️⚠️ ⤿ inlovewithaus: bffr. they have a child on the way. ⤿ y/nupdates: bro be so serious rn lmao they’ve been together FOREVER! just say you wanted Austin but couldn’t have him and move on.

yourmom: Thank YOU for being y/n’s rock and for being the best husband anyone could ever have. Grateful for you. Xx.

[leorawright]

Hi! I just recently saw your stuff and I absolutely adore it, so I was wondering if you could do the tf2 character’s final moments with a reader that’s terminally ill (and who’s death is certain perhaps)?

I imagine some very hardcore angst to come along with this, so if you’re not comfy with angst, I apologize in advance!

I'm perfectly fine with angst and it's nice to have a change!

Warnings: death, angst, mentions of drinking in demomans part, lots of tears

Mercs with a dying s/o

Scout

Trying so hard not to let you see he's crying

He's trying to distract you by telling you all the things you would have done together

It doesn't matter what Medic says he will cling to you until your body is cold

He can't let you go you he doesn't want to

He thinks letting go is giving up hope but medic can bring you back right!?

...right?

Soldier

He was avoiding you

He wasn't trying to be rude or mean he just didn't want to acknowledge you were dying

When he finally sees you he asks you in a choked voice why you aren't training

He barely gets the sentence out before he collapses into you sobbing

You can't leave him! He finally found someone who cared and he can't lose them!

At your funeral he will start sobbing as soon as he calms down

He just misses you so much...

Demoman

He tried so hard to be sober for this moment

He doesn't want his last moments to be clouded by alcohol

He can drink after you die to fuzz out the sadness

But now he wants to remember you clearly

He'll sit by your bed and rub your hand as share memories

He's definitely crying

When you die he goes to try and numb the pain then thinks about what you would want

He decides to go work on some bombs

Pyro

*faint muffled hysterical sobs*

Pyro is absolutely devastated your dying

You were their best friend!

It's doesn't matter the engineer can read them stories and draw with them it's not the same!!

They will cling to you until medic says it time to leave for your funeral

They'll sit through you funeral sniffling the entire time

I think they might be one of the few who accepts you death and tries their best to remember you and not let you memories get crowded by smoke

Heavy

He also accepts it with grace

He will stay with you and make you your favorite meals until you die

He was always so caring and it doesn't stop even on your deathbed

At your funeral he has the best speech about how much you meant to everyone, especially him

He loves you and won't stop even after your gone

Engineer

It takes him a while to realize your dying since he's buried in work

When he does find out he won't wast a second and is by you side till its over

Even though the tears don't stop his words are surprisingly clear

He's so thankful for all the time he got to spend with you

He hopes you are dying happy because he wants you to be happy

Always and forever❤️

Medic

Immediately starts looking for a cure

He will spend all his days in his lab looking for a cure

When he inevitably doesn't find one he walks over to you bed and collapses onto you sobbing

He'll apologize for working so much and for not being there

After that he won't leave and when you do die he'll accept it after millions of tears

Sniper

Incredibly sad but doesn't cry

Don't get him wrong he's sad but he just doesn't cry

He was saving this for when you both got older but he'll show you now

It's a scrapbook of all the times you were together

You first meeting, his confession, the first date and all the ones after that

That's when he starts crying

Spy

He doesn't show up for a long time

He's lost many people and sure he sad he just thinks you don't want to see him

It isn't until all the other mercs force him to that he goes to see you

When he sees you he's incredibly quiet and apologizes for not coming earlier

He stays by you but almost never says a word

When you die he goes to his room to sob

He's lost many people but why did one have to be you?

Hope that was angsty enough that was my first angst prompt

[motthe]

Ok so here's the simp who asked for the silco lumen fic

Can i be called silco anon? Ill call myself silco anon. Anyways-

How would parents (characters +reader) react to their kid's lumens? Would they get worried who it would be? Or the fact that the kid could get hurt by it??

Like viktor, silco, etc.

don’t know a lumen is?? check here for info!

viktor: when his little girl wakes up squealing loud enough to echo down the hall, he has to keep his heart from rocketing out of his chest. you take one glance, curled into his side for warmth during the night, and snort before rolling out of bed to see what all the fuss is about. when the eight-year-old comes thundering into their room, a little ball of light in her hands, viktor suddenly realizes how fast time is going by. i think it’s a wake-up call for him. he spends so much time with her, he does, but now that her lumen is around he wants to dedicate even more focus to their relationship. someone will come sweeping her off her feet one day and he prays it won’t be for a while. he just wants his little princess to be his for as long as possible 🥺❤️

silco: has to stop himself from grabbing the damn thing and whispering threats into it. he would hope something gets across maybe a good clear “hurt my daughter and you die” but it’s too soon to know if his little girl has that type of lumen and he knows better than to steal something out of her hands. when she wants something, she gets it and he has spoiled her rotten. i think silco keeps a close eye on his baby after her lumen shows up, always waiting to see hints of her soulmate nearby so he can grab them and investigate if they’re truly good enough for her. you have to remind him lumens and their fate is between their soulmates and no one else, pinching his ear when he grumbles under his breath every time your little girl rants about how sweet her lumen is (and whatever their trait/talent is).

jinx: she is so excited when her baby boy shows off his lumen his first day with it. he was so afraid of not getting one, being in his preteens with no sign of a lumen. but once he gets it, you and her are celebrating. she loves to watch him talk to his lumen, always a chatterbox just like his mom as he tinkers away with his latest invention. you’ve often had to wipe some tears from her eyes because “he’s growing up so fast, trinket. think we’re doing okay?” you always assure her he is the best little goblin the two of you have ever raised, getting a laugh and big kiss on the cheek.

vi: big buff mama is glaring at the little ball of light. it’s not that she isn’t happy her baby is fated, she just doesn’t like the fact it showed up as soon as her kid just turned six years old. she’s an early bloomer for sure and mama ain’t happy to have her baby’s attention stolen away so quickly. you have to kiss her frown away for a week, reminding her that the lumen coming early doesn’t mean anything. “if anything, now she has something to keep her company when we’re busy, hon.” takes mama forever to stop being grumpy every time that lumen flies by with her little girl tow. but once she accepts it, she’s back to being the big mama bear we all know and love ❤️

ekko: he’s exceptionally happy to see his boy receive one. it was the single most greatest day of his life, so seeing it happen to his kid? makes him a bit emotional honestly. you rub his back, laughing when he sighs and shakes his head as if that’ll shake the emotions free. he makes sure to sit his boy down and remind him how exceptional a bond with a lumen is and how important it is to make sure he treats it with all the love he has. “if you’re lucky, you’ll get someone half as gorgeous as your (mother/father/dama (dad/mama))” “DAD!”

[christinesficrecs]

I am drowning in lost fic requests. Please help if you can!! 💜

Hi, I’m desperate to find a fic. I think it was sterek but the only thing I’m sure is that true alpha doesn’t exist. Deaton have Scott some sort of tea that gave him red eyes. And maybe Stiles is a spark. It would be so nice to help. :)

jazzathebunny says it's this steter fic. or it's this sterek fic. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Intention by AliDee12, ReadablePlot | 125.6K | Explicit

The idea of making things better clings to Stiles: He needs to undo even a fraction of what he did, stop it from happening again, make something around him better in a way he can’t for himself.

And things do get better, for all of five minutes.

Hi, I've been looking for a fic, it's magic stiles one and I think it starts with Derek being chased by hunters and and he thinks he's gonna die and then texts stiles that he lives them. I think stiles saves him and he hurt his ankle and they're in a motel?

I love you too, or whatever by yodasyoyo | 2.7K

“You. Love me too.”“Yeah well,” Stiles grumbles. “It’s either love or I’ve had really bad indigestion for the past five years. I don’t know. Take your pick.” He waves a hand airily, cheeks flushing pink.The corner of Derek’s mouth tugs up in a smile. “Well you do eat like a pig. It could be indigestion.”Stiles goes to kick him, and then sucks in a pained breath between his teeth. “Shit motherfucker, fuck, shit.”

I’m looking for a specific fic but I only remember one scene: Stile’s is kidnapped and stuffed into the back seat of a car. They eventually let him go because he’s being SO annoying and he lets it slip that he’s Derek’s mate? Does this sound familiar?

Pry Him From My Cold Dead Fingers by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella) | 10.5K

“So they’re coming for our Emissary because they lost theirs?” Derek asked, somewhat angrily.

“It would appear. The McCall-Hale Pack’s reputation precedes itself.”

“Don’t worry,” Scott said, “we won’t let them touch you.”

Deaton turned to him, offering a private smile before inclining his head slightly. “Very comforting, Scott, thank you. But,” he looked between them, “I’m not the Emissary they’re coming after.”

Derek frowned and shared a look with Scott, who looked as confused as he did.

“What do you mean?” Scott asked. “What other Emissary is there?”

Hi! Was wondering if you or anyone else could remember a Sterek kid fic? Their kid was a boy and his name began with an N (either Nate or Nick) I think. There was a scene where Stiles says “baby” and both Derek and their kid turn to look at him! Thanks!

isaidshakerattleandroll thinks it could be this one?

How Derek Met His Smallest Fan by purpleduvet (maga_nw) | 37.2K | Mature

Derek comes back to Beacon Hills after years of being gone and meets Stiles and his kid at the supermarket.

Hoping you may be able to help find a fic! I think there was a spell placed on Stiles and Derek that collected or was storing energy when they would get together? And it ended up effecting the pack and making everyone randy at some points. I vaguely remember Deaton may have been away and the spell kept making the pack forget to ask or be weirded out by it. Does this sound familiar at all?

Thank you drgrlfriend and isaidshakerattleandroll for the great suggestions!! These are both amazing fics. ❤️

Lap Magnet by Prairie_Grass | 30.7K | Explicit

Wherein an ill-advised floral arrangement leads to a whole new definition of obliviousness, accidental mate-bonds, and far more sex and tropes than one fic really needs.

By a Law Divine by mirrorkill | 23.1K | Mature

Okay, so, kissing Stiles. That's a weird thing that Derek's doing now. He has no idea where it's even coming from, especially considering bickering and fighting is their usual state of existence. And then he does find out where it's coming from: A curse that's making everyone in town kiss someone they have mutual feelings for. …yeah, Derek's not even sure why he's surprised by that.

Hi!! I’ve been looking forever for this story and I’m having no luck so I’m hoping you can help. I don’t remember a lot except one scene near the end of it after Stiles and Derek have gotten together, they’re at the loft and Stiles hasn’t been in contact with his dad (Or something like that). So the sheriff stops by the loft to check on Stiles then gets mad (?) about sterek and Stiles tells his dad that he won’t be able to keep them from being together. After the Sheriff leaves Derek was genuinely surprised that stiles chose him over his dad cause no one has ever chosen him over someone else and Stiles gets mad about Derek’s lake of faith in them. Thank you in advance for any help 😁

The healing touch by devilscut | 96.6K | Explicit

Stiles loses his temper with the rest of the pack when they all make excuses not to volunteer to help their Alpha. Deaton has instructed that for the next 24 hours Derek can't use his hands after he seriously injures them in a magical entrapment. Seeing the emotional hurt that Derek's selfish pack has inflicted on him when they argue and try to get out of it, Stiles volunteers to stay and then proceeds to give the rest of them a verbal ass-kicking. He then takes care of his friend, the Alpha, Derek Hale, while trying to work out what his feelings are towards the werewolf.

So I just came here and was caught by surprise bc I did not think anyone was looking for lost ice anymore sooooo I’m gonna push it out there….. I’m looking for a fic and it is VERY VAGUE like I don’t even know if it’s gonna ring any bells but !!! I remember a fic where stiles says something like “I’m not trying to be a replacement for Paige” or maybe it was like “I’m not gonna be a replacement@ something ???? This could be anything I know but I would appreciate the help!!!!!!

Hi, I'm hoping you can help me find a fic. I'm looking for a fairly long fic where stiles agrees to start having sex with Derek to if he'll let Scott to join the pack. There is a scene where Danny calls Derek out because stiles is too sore to sit. There's also something special about the way stiles can use mountain ash in the fic.

Stiles Wears the Pants in This Pack by TheDreadedSneeb | 95.8K | Mature

Stiles is an awkward badass, Scott is a good friend and person all around, Peter is creepy but helpful, and Derek is not a natural at leading but he really cares about his pack.

can u help me find the fic where stiles finds derek at a bar, but it turns out to be an incubus and stiles keeps coming back to it bc hes willing to take what he can get and he doesnt rlly care that its killing him slowly but eventually real derek comes back to beacon hills?

Satisfactory Compromises by TroubleIWant | 17.7K | Mature

Stiles is basically doing fine. He's surviving, anyways. So what if it's a struggle to get out of bed most days? Back in high school, everything about the supernatural had seemed edgy and romantic and exhilarating, but after seeing everything he has, wanting to go back to ignorance is only natural. Only then Derek comes back to Beacon Hills and says he's in love with him, and everything changes.

For the worse.

Hi, I’ve been looking for a fic where Stiles is being controlled by a mage or something? I think there was a moment where the mage rubs his hand across Stiles’s head and leeches magic from him. The pack didn’t know Stiles, and I believe Stiles was causing damage across the country? It’s NOT the one where he has a kid. Sound familiar?

[rosewantstowrite]

MASTERLIST

GUIDELINES

Here some information, this is my masterlist and will regularly update it when I make a new story or a new chapter. Here’s the symbol you need to know what’s to know what’s the story contains.

Fluff: ❤️

Angst: 🔪

Smut: ♨️

Favorite: ❤️‍🔥

Natewantstobattle:

Nathan sharp:

none

series

1. New Girl ❤️ (discounted)

summary: What’s will happen between the new neighbors? Will it be a fairytale or would it be dangerous

2. Miracle Baby 🔪 ❤️ ♨️

summary: After almost losing her baby from her baby daddy by him hitting her in a fight, Nicole ran to the one person she can trust, she ran to Nathan Sharp, her long time best friend, they grew up with each other, after moving to California she supported Nate on his adventures to be a musician but she too found an adventure with a guy, she let agreed to a family but after almost killing her and the baby she goes to Nate, what will happen when Nate realize that’s he’s in love with his best friend? Can he face her?

Natemare:

none

Nightmare world 🔪

summary: Natemare just witness his love get killed and ripped of her soul by Phantom, and tried to bring her back as she was once but she come back different.

series: none

Phantom:

Don’t leave me 🔪

summary: When his lover gets tired of him always trying to get them in a contract with him so he could have them forever they break it off with him, but before they could get away he had knocked them out and kidnapped them.

series: none

Markiplier:

Mark Fischback

none

series: none

Darkiplier:

none

series: none

Damien:

none

series: none

Wilford Warfstache:

none

series: none

Jacksepeticeye:

Seán Mcloughin:

none

series: none

Antisepticeye:

none

series: none

Chase:

none

series: none

Actors:

Aidan Gallagher

None

Series:

Dreamland ❤️🔪♨️❤️‍🔥

summary: What happens when two souls keep meeting in the land of dream? What happens when they finally meet? Would they be able to make it work, or will the sudden attention comes too much?

Emmy Raver-lampman:

None

series:

Elliot page:

Good kitten: ♨️ coming soon

summary: While watching a movie, Elliot begin to get bored so to see how much his lover can take of his teasing which didn’t take long so they end up having fun instead of watching the movie they picked

series: none

Robert Sheehan:

None

series: none

Tom Hopper

none

series: none

David Castenada

none

series: none

The Umbrella Academy:

Luther:

None

series: none

Diego:

baby blues: ❤️ coming soon

summary: it was the first year for y/n of being mom, she begin to get the baby blues and tries to trick diego of having another baby but he keep refusing

series: none

Allison:

none

series: none

Klaus:

None

series: none

Ben:

None

series: none

Viktor:

lonely memories: 🔪

summary: it was the one year anniversary of his beloved fiancé’s mental illness battle that they lost to, now he’s sat in their room, with a bottle of whiskey and the only solace of her favorite jacket and the goodbye letter in front of him, the last note from his fiancé.

series: none

Five:

Birthday Love ♨️

summary: It’s Five’s birthday so you decided to celebrate it the way you thought he’d like to celebrate it but he had different plans.

series:

1. Light love 🔪❤️♨️

summary: What happens when Viktor brings in a stranger with a mysterious past and Five overheard something he didn’t expect to know about his brother’s friend, what would happen when the two starts to get close and he decided to change his entire life, taking on the role that Viktor had previously been doing? Can he handle the responsibilities that’s goes with his decision?

2. Long Forgotten Memories ❤️ 🔪♨️

summary: After 17 years for Rosaline Kwon of never going back to the Academy until the day of Reginald’s funeral, she decided to go back to give mortal support to what used to be her second family, the only one who she stay in contact with after deciding to stop going there was Klaus Hargreeves, he helped her forget about the one who shattered her completely who was her childhood best friend and secret crush; Five Hargreeves, what happens when she returns to the Academy and Five returns? Will she be able to fully forgive and tell him everything she wanted to tell him that day he disappeared or will her hatred for him cause her to go to the one person who she used to forget about him or will she just leaves the family to do their things once more and try to ignore everyone again?

Other:

Darren Treacy:

none

series: none

Kpop

Soloist artists

Lee Wonho

none

series: none

Anime

Yu-Gi-Oh (Duel Monsters)

Yugi Muto

• Head canons

Nsfw Alphabet

Mixture of head canons

none

series: none

Yami Yugi | Pharaoh Atem

none

series: none

Seto Kaiba

none

series: none

My Hero Academia

Touya Todoroki/Dabi

none

series

Burn Into Memory ♨️🔪❤️❤️‍🔥

Akira Williams was a Touya’s lover before he become a villain, something in her past caused her to grow angry at Enji, she wants revenge, what will happen when after 8 years being away from her home and she returns to exact her revenge against Enji Todoroki but runs into two people she hoped to not come across until it was time to reveal herself? What happens when they both finds out who she was? Would they be angry at her to the point they will never accept her apology or would they try everything to win her over again and have her be their lover? Will she accepts this outcome?

TikTokers:

Ish (Ishnessarmy)

none

series

The Long Forgotten Lover ❤️ 🔪 ♨️

Nicole Mikaelson, the girl who always give it her all but never gotten the things she deserves, back in elementary school she used to date this girl but the girl that Nicole was in love with had an unknown secret, Nicole moved right before middle school, ultimately forgetting about the girl who had capture her heart, years past by, the girl turn into a distant memory, but after her mother died Nicole had moved back to her hometown in Maine, the only problem was she was different from everyone. Nicole has a secret and one mental health problem that no one will know. She followed this person name Ish on tiktok not realizing it was the girl thats gotten her heart, when she moved next door to Ish and she didn't realizes that but when he comes to her door to introduce himself, he saw the girl who he used be in love with. What will happen when he falls back in love with her and she doesn't remember him for who he was?

[ankhisms]

ok ep 49 live reactions and final overall series thoughts

good lord theyre going to just blast the entire world with a beam i guess. no wait the tv tower my god

i do love the zect trio team with kagami misaki and tadokoro it was a nice moment when they asked kagami if he was going to move straight forward and kagami said yes and then they defied their orders to arrest kagami and are with him now like YESSSSS

NOOOOO THEY HAVE TENDOU TWO AND THEYRE GONNA USE HIM FOR THEIR PLAN. HASNT HE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH HAVENT YOU TORTURED HIM ENOUGH

hiyori getting her little apron waaaa

is kagami really dead. did kagami really just die. ok thank fuck hang in there kagami

STOPPED THE END OF THE WORLD WITH A SINGLE FLOWER THAT SYMBOLIZES HIS SISTER. GO TENDOU GO

OHHHHH THEY DONT ATTACK TENDOU WHEN THEYRE TOLD TOAND THEY TURN BACK INTO HUMANS

TENDOU TWOOOOOOOO

very good moment when all the zectors came to tendou

kagami and tendou doint the finishing blow together was also good ❤️❤️

im so sad about tendou two like. what a miserable life. im so sad

letting the zectors go ....

GO AWAY DAISUKE OUT WITH YOU BEGONE FROM THE CAFE FINAL REUNUON FOUL MAN

hiyori biking through the ginkgos im just so happy shes safe and living her life to the fullest AND JYUKA CALLS HER ONEECHAN THAT MADE ME SOB

god damn it kagami becoming a cop. absolute betrayal

OH HIS DAD IS ALIVE I GUESS?

AND TENDOU JUST FUCKS OFF TO FRANCE FOREVER ALRIGHT

alright final thoughts:

im very bad at ranking what my top 5 or top 10 kamen rider/toku in general shows are because almost all the shows ive seen have things i think are good and fun and i love them and enjoy them in different ways yknow! i dont think kabuto would be in my top 5 if i ever made a list, but i did really honestly enjoy kabuto. it took me a long time to watch it i think i mightve started watching it in 2021? maybe towards the end of the year im not sure but i know its been one ive been watching for a long time and i am very fond of the characters and i know ill continue to be fond of them in the future for sure, i had a fun time watching the show and seeing what bizarre nonsense happened to the cast

im not about to act like i understood kabuto overall and i know thats a common thing to say about the show which makes sense after watching it like lmao yeah i see why people might not like this or say it makes no sense because a lot of it didnt make sense to me either but the thing is throughout the show and especially towards the end i could like see the outline and vague shape of themes but i felt muddled in being able to fully understand those themes and feel like i didnt really in the end 100% get what those themes might have been trying to say beyond messages about humanity having the capacity for good and changing for the better and of course messages about family and love with tendou being so devoted to both kagami and his sisters. there for sure is a part of the show near the end where it feels like everything just kind of goes off the rails and things are just happening rather than any semblance of plot, but i did like the last episodes and the last battle was especially good, the one year later ending was a little confusing but overall i felt like the ending fit the show well enough. kamen rider kabuto is a show that i have watched and tendou is unkillable and although he is insufferable i do love him

[godblessgamora]

2022 year in review

thanks for tagging me @quillsmora ❤️

number of stories posted on AO3: 9

word count for this year: 129, 594. it’s actually insane how much i wrote in under six months

fandoms i wrote for: guardians of the galaxy + antman

pairings: starmora + scotthope

stories with the most:

kudos: songs that make sense (which makes me super happy because i love this fic so much)

bookmarks: songs that make sense (that’s my most popular work in every sense, so i’m not surprised at all)

comment threads: make my wish come true (i attribute that to the fact i asked zoe and claire to leave comments on ao3 rather than on twt lol)

word count: make my wish come true (the story was supposed to be like 20k lol)

works I’m most proud of:

— make my wish come true: i think the story is a lot of fun. i loved wiring all human au but also i just think the characters are are really funny, sweet and well written. i like the jokes i put in the fic and i love their development

— songs that make sense: okay sooo. this one is kind of special because it’s my head canon that gamora carries a lot of guilt. then again, it’s not really a head canon, is it? the movies talk about her guilt, but i don’t think it was mentioned in depth. and because of my headcanon i genuinely believe she feels really guilty for pushing peter to go to ego (and she DID push him, she’s the reason he went), and the fic focuses on her guilt. it’s a fresh take (i haven’t read anything similar on ao3), and it’s a very important perspective (#tome). plus the fic was inspired by a line from castle, and we all know how much i love the show. this fic is a tiny connection between my two favorite fictional worlds <3

— this one means forever: it’s unpublished yet (i’m still writing it) but… i’m so proud. it’s a very special, very emotional (well, hopefully) one shot. if i manage to make the ending as emotional as it is in my head, i will be beyond happy. also the fic is my connection to lucifer, and it’s another tv show that holds a special place in my heart. i can’t wait for everyone to read this story, though im scared to post the link on twitter so i might not even tell anyone, i don’t know.

works i’m least proud of:

— rewrite the stars: just something about it gives me the ick, i can’t even explain it

— road trip fic i’m working on now: just something is so wrong. i’m still wiring and haven’t started editing, but the first draft is terrible. i think i would have to ask friends to read the first few chapters before i post to make sure it’s even readable

share or describe a favorite review you received: i always screenshot reviews that are anything but generic “i loved the chapter, thank you”. shan’s review to the first chapter of make my wish come true is very special + review by sharkinterviewee to wicked games.

it’s not really a review but zoe’s tweet “kate could write a starmora grocery store fic and ill be invested”. it’s one of my lock screens and i always look at it when im feeling down

a time when writing was really, really hard: i post only when the story is fully written, so if it’s hard then i will just stop writing until i feel better. but posting make my wish come true was so freaking hard, and it was one of the reasons why i left twitter. christmas + anything gotg related messed up with my head a lot, and having a christmas starmora fic was even worse. i took a break from anything gotg and genuinely contemplated deleting make my wish come true. december wasn’t fun </3

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: starmora smut. i haven’t posted the fic yet but i was really surprised when i finished the fic

a favorite except of your writing: ohhh that’s a fun question. i have a few, but i’m too lazy to post it now, so ill post screenshots on twitter instead 😁

how did you grow as a writer this year: well i’m pretty sure i make way less grammatical and punctuation mistakes than i did when i started lol. ty to people who don’t mind those and are understanding of my english as a second language situation <3

how do you hope to grow next year: it’s silly but i want to write a 100k words story. i hope to accomplish this goal

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: two things, honestly: support on twt and actual books. i got back into reading and definitely stole some tropes, some situations, and some lines. but also gotg hive. i’m beyond grateful to claire for her support with make my wish come true, as i truly believe she’s the biggest supporter of the fic and she always made me smile with her comments and excitement. also zoe because i still have screenshots from that one evening we talked about the fic, and her support meant so much (again, posting the fic was really hard). and shan, bff ur “seated” tweets made me smile so much.

anything from your real life show up in your writing: i wrote an entire fic about my favorite croissant place so…

any projects you’re looking forward to starting in the new year: i REALLY want to write the spy au (set in space). i hope i can do it! but for now my main focus is finishing the road trip story, this one means forever, and writing couple outtakes for make my wish come true and i want crazy

tag writers: i don’t check tumblr at all so i don’t know if you’ve done it already but if you haven’t and want to go ahead @enigma731