#i could feel my sanity slipping away while writing this

[chilpilled]

the original soundtrack cover is chilaios signaling and heres why:

(i have a phd in chilaios studies so u can trust me on this. i am of sound mind)

look at how each of them is handling the instrument. chilchuck is confused and overwhelmed by the hurdy gurdy, he doesn‘t really understand it but he makes the attempt to play it anyways, struggling in the process, though trying to be careful, as we see with his raised pinky and the gentle way he handles it. laios on the other hand is putting all his effort into blowing that trombone, cheeks red and eyes popping out of his skull. hes passionate and dedicated and desperate to make this work, though he could probably be a bit more careful, just like chilchuck should handle his instrument with more confidence. neither of them are very good at this, but they‘re trying their best.

also the instruments themselves say a lot. chilchuck has a hurdy gurdy, a rare instrument that seems odd at first, confusing and maybe even frustrating to people who don‘t know how to play it, yet rewarding once you put in the time and effort to learn. laios has a trombone, a loud, maybe even abrasive instrument if you don‘t know how to play it right, yet with time and practice it becomes melodious. each has an instrument representing the other, and each is trying their best to learn. and thats true love.

its also important to mention the water bottle between their chairs. its a bit more on chilchucks side, yet why would he need a water bottle, considering its the only water bottle in the image and chilchuck is one of the people who doesn‘t play an instrument that you blow into? the answer is clear. why would chilchuck have a water bottle and conveniently place it between his and laios‘ chair? because he may not need the water, but laios sure does.

one last thing. body language experts say that people point their foot towards the person they feel most comfortable with or are interested in. now look where laios‘ foot is pointing. i rest my case

[0cta9on]

Unlikely Duet - 6

length: +7k words

Genre: Fluff

NewJeans Minji x Male Reader (OC)

(Author's Note: I could've taken another day to edit this, but I wanted to upload it asap so here it is :^) Hopefully my writing isn't too garbage and I hope y'all enjoy <3)

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★

Minji’s POV

I could do nothing but pace around my room, anxiety fueling every step. Danielle was supposed to be here 20 minutes ago to drive us to the fair, but on this particular day of all days, she decides to be late. My vice president, the one who I can lean on when I’m overwhelmed with responsibilities and even more of a stickler for rules and punctuality compared to me, is late.

The brunt of my morning was spent avoiding my parents like the plague, staying cooped up in my room and eating my meals as quickly as possible. To them, it probably seems like I’m giving them the silent treatment for what they said last night (which I’m still upset about), but in reality, I was riddled with anxious thoughts and simply avoided speaking in case I accidentally let it slip that I was planning on lying to them. I’ve done it tons of times before, but every single time is nerve wracking. While I hate that it’s gotten to this point, I owe a lot of my sanity to what I’ve been able to get away with by lying. Besides, it’s probably better this way - my parents still believe that I’m their perfect daughter and I still get to have some semblance of a social life.

Like the sonorous tones of a church bell, a resounding ding emits from my phone. They’re here. With shaky hands, I grab my tote bag from my bed and carefully tiptoe down the stairs. Right as I reach the front door, my father calls out to me from the living room.

“Minji? Where are you going?” He asks, a look of curiosity on his face.

“O-oh, uhh, I guess I forgot to tell you this but I was actually planning on going to the library to study with Danielle today.” I grin at him, trying my best to sound convincing. Our eyes lock as he studies my expression for what feels like an eternity. It might just be my stress causing my eyes to play tricks on me, but there seems to be a hint of sadness in his expression, as if he doesn’t want me to go. I shake it off and refocus on the task at hand.

“Well, I better get going-”

“Wait,” he interrupts before leaving the room for a moment. He comes back with a $20 bill in his hands and offers it to me. “Here.”

Panic began to set in. Did he find out I was actually going to the fair? If he did, why would he be giving me money? Shouldn’t he be angry at me for lying to him?

“Um, what’s this for? We’re just going to the library,” I reiterate in hopes that my initial worries were wrong.

“In case you two get hungry after, you should get some snacks. Food fuels the brain.” The relief I felt after he said those words is better than any award I got in my entire academic career up to this point. Normally it would raise red flags for my father to be doing something uncharacteristic like this, but I didn’t care. I’m just glad to almost be free.

“Thanks,” I say as I take the cash. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Don’t stay out too late. Don’t be messing around while studying. And-”

I shut the door behind me before I could hear the rest of his sentence. It was probably some other generic dad advice, like “Don’t talk to strange boys at night” or something like that. The sight of Danielle’s mom’s car parked on the other side of the street was like seeing a boat heading your direction after being stranded on an island for 15 years. Hanni beckoned me from the passenger’s side window, an excited grin painted on her face.

“Hurry up girl, let’s go!!��� She shouted. As I open the door to the backseat, Hyein and Haerin wave back at me.

“Hi Minji!”

“Yo.”

“Hi guys, sorry, my dad wanted to talk to me before I left,” I replied as I got in the car. “Danielle, what took you so long, I was pacing around my room for the past 20 minutes anxious out of my mind!”

“I’m sorry, there was something I had to take care of before I could take my mom’s car,” she apologizes as she tampers with the rearview mirror, clearly annoyed with its inability to swivel properly.

Hanni pops her head from the front seat. “Okay y’all, we just need to take a deep breath and calm down. We’re going to the fair to chill out and have fun, let’s not let petty things like this ruin the day before it’s even started, alright?” Haerin and Hyein nod enthusiastically, peering over at me to gauge my reaction. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in order to allow my mind to forget about the stress from my morning. Today is the day that I get to let loose and forget about all the pressures I face in my regular life. Nothing else matters but having fun. As I open my eyes again, I am welcomed by the smiling faces of my four dearest friends (Danielle was especially happy about finally fixing the rearview mirror). My lips curl into a smile as I look back at them.

“Yeah, you’re right, Hanni,” I admit. “Okay, let’s go!!” We all cheer as Danielle steps on the gas. Hanni turns up the radio, blasting a loud pop song that blares out of the windows as we cruise through the neighborhood.

______________________________________________________________

The lights, the sounds, the smells, everything about the fair was overwhelming in the best way possible. Large groups of friends and families meandered along the concrete pathways, talking and laughing as they try their hand at classic carnival games or satiate their hunger with fried food and extravagant sweets. A giant ferris wheel sat in the background, the sunlight peeking through its rotors. A wave of nostalgia washes over me as I’m reminded of old family memories. Before they pressured me into trying to obtain some kind of impossible perfection, I used to be able to exist simply as their daughter, who they loved and played with like any other child.

“Hey Minji, are you okay?” Hyein asks me. I snap out of my thoughts to find the girls looking back at me with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking about something,” I reassure them. “What do you guys wanna do first?”

“I don’t know Ms. President, what do you wanna do?” Hanni asks with a wide grin.

“Well, I guess we can-”

I freeze as I see a familiar face in the distance, intermingled with the crowd. Yuno is here. With the convenience store girl.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

“Where the hell did he run off to?” I grumble as I struggle to search for Yujin in the crowd. The fair was more overwhelming than I could’ve imagined - it was difficult navigating through the sea of strangers without accidentally rubbing elbows with them, all while trying to find oxygen through the constant stench of fried foods and sugar wafting through the air. At the very least, the lights were pretty to look at and I would be lying if I said the ferris wheel didn’t pique my interest.

Winter chuckles at my annoyance. “Relax, he’s just getting a corndog. See, he’s on his way over here right now,” she says, gesturing through a gap in the crowd. Lo and behold, Yujin skips towards us with a corndog in hand and a stupid grin on his face.

“Look what I got!” He presents his fried snack to us with the excitement of a child presenting a drawing to their parents. An ungodly amount of ketchup and mustard drips off the corndog, creating a gross glob of orange on the ground.

“Is that healthy?” Winter asks, concern laced in her voice. Her words fall on deaf ears as Yujin chomps off a large piece, covering his mouth in sauce. I chuckle in disbelief, both deeply disturbed and quietly impressed, while Winter hands him a pack of napkins from her purse.

I take the opportunity to look around at my surroundings again. As I gazed out amongst the crowd of smiling faces, I suddenly felt out of place in it all, like I wasn’t allowed to be here. Everything felt so foreign to me, I wasn’t sure if I should feel at ease or on edge. Whether it’s paranoia or just a hunch, I couldn’t get rid of this nagging feeling at the back of my head.

“Hey Yuno?” Winter nudges me.

I turn my attention towards her. “What?”

“Isn’t that the student council president?”

My heart stops for a split second as I look down the other end of her finger. In the heart of the crowd is Minji, huddled around her friends. She’s wearing a simple outfit of a gray collegiate sweater and jeans, yet my eyes were naturally drawn to her like a magnet.

“Y-yeah, that’s her,” I stutter, trying to maintain composure.

“Mm, issa Danielle? Les go shay hi!” Yujin exclaims with a mouth full of food, running toward them before I could stop him.

“God dammit…”

“What’s wrong, do you not wanna say hi?” Winter asks as we follow the trail through the crowd Yujin left behind.

“It’s not that, it’s just… Whatever, let’s just go.” With every step I take, my heart rate begins to accelerate as, once again, fate pulls me towards Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

He’s coming this way!! Why is he coming this way?? Did he see me? Should I run? No, why would I run? Pull it together, Minji!! Maybe if I pretend I didn’t see him, he’ll just walk past me. Why would I do that?? Agh!!

“Ketchup… and mustard,” Haerin blurts out, drawing puzzled glances from the group. Suddenly, a boy wearing a white eyepatch emerges from the crowd, carrying a corndog smeared with red and yellow condiments.

“Danielle!!” He calls out, waving excitedly. “Hi!”

“Yujin? What are you doing here?” Danielle questions, a hint of surprise present in her voice.

“I’m with my friends!” The boy, Yujin, exclaims as Yuno and the convenience store girl appear behind him, drawing an impish grin from Hanni. I couldn’t help but feel underdressed when compared to convenience store girl’s flowery sundress and cardigan. “I didn’t expect to see you here too! This is great!”

“Uh yeah, I guess it is,” Danielle responds awkwardly before turning to us. “Um, this is Yujin, I’ve been helping him and his grandma out recently.”

“We’re friends!” He adds enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I suppose we are.” 

I couldn’t help but giggle at Danielle’s uncharacteristic awkwardness. Normally, she’s the serious voice of reason that stays calm under pressure, yet here she was, looking like an embarrassed older sister flustered by the antics of her younger sibling.

“It’s nice to meet you, Yujin,” I greet warmly. “I’m Minji, also a friend of Danielle’s.”

“Oh, you must be the student council president!” He replies eagerly. “These are my friends, Yuno and Winter. Yuno might look a little scary, but don’t worry, he only fights bad guys. He helped me and Winter out before! And Winter is really shy, but she’s really nice once you get to know her!”

“H-hello,” Winter stutters with a polite smile, while Yuno offers a simple nod. A flush of warmth colors my cheeks as our eyes briefly meet before we both quickly avert our gazes. Unfortunately, Hanni notices this and stifles a laugh, making my cheeks grow even warmer with embarrassment.

“Hello, I’m Hyein!” Our youngest chimes in. “This is Haerin, and that over there is Hanni! It’s nice to meet you all!”

As the group falls into casual conversation, I can’t help but peer over at Yujin’s eyepatch and be reminded of my conversation with Yuno last night. Despite his injuries, he’s chock full of energy and vibrancy that contrasts with Yuno’s usual solitary and soft-spoken demeanor. The difference in their personalities is cute in a way. Winter, on the other hand, shares many similarities with Yuno. Like him, she’s very soft-spoken and a little awkward, but has an aura of kindness around her despite that. I imagine the two of them got along well because of this - for some reason, this fact irks me.

“Since we’re all here to let loose at the fair, why don’t you guys join us? The more the merrier I always say, isn’t that right, Minj?” Hanni says, nudging my ribs with her elbow. I didn’t even have to look at her to know what kind of face she’s making. 

Coincidentally, my eyes meet Yuno’s once again, and I quickly break away as I think of what to say. I would hate to butt into Yuno’s time with his friends, but a voice in the back of my head was telling me otherwise.

“Yeah, you guys can join us if you want to,” I say as I give into the voices. My lips curl into a smile, but inside, I couldn’t shake the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Yuno appears taken aback at my answer as a slight pinkish hue grows on his cheeks. The group moves through the crowd looking for what to do first with Yujin leading the way and Yuno trailing close behind. I stay in the back, letting my complicated feelings fester.

“H-hello, Minji.” Winter’s soft voice interrupts my thoughts, and I turn to find her trailing behind the group alongside me. Her simple makeup look is subtle, yet it perfectly accentuated her natural beauty. Pair that with her cute outfit and she could have any guys she wants. A shiver went through my spine at the thought.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying my best to act natural.

“I just wanted to ask if you’re doing okay. I never got the chance to after what happened that night.”

My mind flashes back to when Yuno and Winter had saved me from that drunk man a couple days ago. I was too terrified and too weak to protect myself, yet this timid girl jumped in front of him to protect me. And here I am, feeling all weird because I think she looks prettier than me.

“I’m doing fine now. Thanks again for that, I owe you one,” I express.

She quickly shakes her head at my offer. “Y-you don’t have to do that. If you want, I can give you a can of pepper spray. I have a couple more of them at home.”

A chuckle escapes my lips, and Winter seems to loosen up at this. “I might have to take you up on that offer,” I say, half-jokingly. A wave of shame washes over me as I suddenly felt bad for being jealous of her. Maybe the events of this morning still have their effects on me or maybe I ate something bad earlier, but something feels off with me today and I’m not sure why.

“Guys, look over here!” Yujin shouts excitedly from the front of the group, pointing at a giant Spider-man plush sitting on a prize table for a basketball game. Two basketball hoops stood tall before him, much higher than a regular basketball hoop. “I HAVE to get this for my room!” He quickly pays the game attendant, who places three basketballs on the counter in front of him.

“Alright, the game is simple. All you have to do is make at least one basket and you get a prize,” the worker explains. Yujin takes the first ball and psyches himself up, giving the ball a couple dribbles before throwing it… And completely missing the hoop.

“Aw man,” he groans in disappointment. “Yuno, why don’t you try?”

Yuno accepts the challenge, gripping the second ball with steely determination. I watch with bated breath as the ball leaves his hands. It soars high into the sky… and completely misses the hoop. The ball shoots way over the hoop and ends up knocking a corndog out of someone’s hand. The girls and I struggle to stifle our laughter as Yuno’s cheeks turn a bright red.

“A-ah… Shit…” He curses under his breath. “M-maybe Winter should try…”

Winter steps forward, her hands shaking as she grips the final ball. We all freeze with anticipation as she shoots the ball towards the hoop. Miraculously, it arcs perfectly in the air and lands through the hoop with a satisfying swoosh. A scattered array of claps and cheers erupt from some bystanders that witnessed that moment, but none are as ecstatic as Yujin, who jumps and cheers with the excitement of a kid on his birthday.

“Congratulations, ma’am! Which prize would you like?” The worker asks her.

“T-the Spiderman p-please,” Winter stammers, accepting the toy and handing it to Yujin.

“Ahhh!!! Winter, you’re the best!!!” He screams, drawing a variety of reactions from passersby. Yuno flashes her a quick thumbs up while Hyein, Haerin, and Hanni shower her with compliments, which Winter modestly tries to brush away with a bashful smile. Meanwhile, Danielle is occupied with trying to contain Yujin’s overflowing energy.

“M-my dad really likes basketball, so he made me play w-when I was younger. I-it’s nothing really,” Winter explains. She’s kind, pretty, AND athletic? It’s almost as if God himself created the perfect person and placed them in front of me on a day I decided not to dress up. There’s no wonder I felt jealous of her. But why am I jealous of her?

“Are you okay?” Yuno asks me.

I startle slightly at his sudden appearance. “H-huh? Yeah, why?” I awkwardly chuckle. Yuno’s gentle gaze meets mine with genuine concern, momentarily distracting myself from my swirling thoughts. I found myself wanting to draw closer and get lost in his irises.

What?! Minji, what are you even thinking?! Have you gone insane?!

“You look… upset,” he admits shyly. “I just wanted t-”

Suddenly, a basketball bounces off of the other hoop and hurtles towards Winter. In a flash, Yuno turns and catches the ball right before it hits her in the face, his gentle expression replaced with a stern glare at the person who threw the ball.

“Watch it,” he growls in a calm yet menacing tone as he tosses the ball back. His face immediately softens as he turns back to Winter. “You alright?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, Yuno,” she answers with an appreciative smile. I felt my heart drop from my chest as I watched their interaction, confusion and envy creating a storm in my mind.

“Sooooooo, you gonna make a move or no?” I jump as Hanni startles me from behind.

“W-what??” I sputter.

“I recognize that face anywhere. You’re jealous~.” 

Heat creeps up my face as I struggle to find the words to explain myself. “Wha- I am not jealous!” I seethe, trying to keep my voice down. “I’m just… impressed by his reaction timing.”

“Mhm,” she hums, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m impressed by how close they look. Don’t you think they would make a cute couple, Minj?”

Her words leave a bitter taste in my mouth. “Y-yeah, I’m sure they would,” I reply, unconvincingly. “W-whatever, like I said I’m not jealous.”

“Oh sweet, sweet Minji,” Hanni sighs, shaking her head as she pats my shoulder. She follows the rest of the group as they move on, leaving me to watch Yuno and Winter as they walk side by side. No matter how hard I try, I can't rationalize this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see them together. I need to do something, but I don’t know why.

______________________________________________________________

We spent the next hour walking around, playing all the fair games, and filing our stomachs with an array of different snacks the fair offers. I tried to enjoy myself, but the pit in my stomach continued to grow and grow until it became unbearable. I even started to consider Hanni’s words, but no amount of inner turmoil would make me go that insane. 

As the sun dipped low, casting an enchanting orange hue over the fairgrounds, it seemed like the perfect time to watch the sunset from atop the ferris wheel. As excited as I am to be able to watch the sunset, I still couldn’t get rid of this weird feeling as I watched Yuno chat with Winter and Yujin at the front of the group. Hanni seemed to notice this too.

“Girl, you look miserable,” she remarks, resting her chin on my shoulder with a sympathetic pout. “You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“I-I am having fun. This is my ‘having fun’ face.” I flash her a forced grin in a feeble attempt to mask my true feelings. Hanni sighs heavily right as we reach the front of the line.

“Each cabin only fits two people, so you’ll have to split into groups of two,” the ride operator explains. Naturally, Hyein and Haerin pair up together, waving excitedly at us as they eagerly step into the first cabin.

“Yuno, do you wanna ride together?” Yujin asks him. Before he could answer, however, Hanni takes matters into her own hands and pushes Danielle into Yujin.

“Hey Yujin, did you know Danielle is really scared of heights? She needs a big strong man protecting her while she’s up there.” Danielle silently curses at her with her eyes as Hanni pushes the duo into the next cabin. My eyes go wide with panic as I suddenly catch onto her plan.

“Winter, I love your dress! Let’s chat about it on the ferris wheel!” Hanni exclaims as she grabs Winter’s hand, pulling her towards the open doors of the cabin. Right before the doors close behind them, I catch a glimpse of Hanni flashing me a thumbs up. My heart threatened to explode from my chest as I found myself left alone with Yuno. 

“S-soooooo… U-um, do you wanna, um, I-I gues-”

“Let’s go,” Yuno utters as walks ahead of me into the cabin. I mentally facepalm, cringing at my sudden inability to formulate a coherent sentence. I step into the cabin and sit across from Yuno. As the doors seal shut, the space suddenly felt a lot smaller and more intimate. I gaze out at the orange glow of the sun to distract myself, both mortified and oddly blissful.

______________________________________________________________

Yuno’s POV

My heart kept chugging like a speeding steam train, I worried that Minji could hear it echo off the walls of the cabin. Throughout the day, I could feel her gaze lingering on me and I don’t know why. Did she wanna talk about yesterday? Was something on her mind? Was there something in my hair? Did I smell? I would’ve showered before I left the house if I knew I was gonna bump into her.

A strange feeling fills my chest as I observe the way the sunlight reflects off of her skin. The same feeling that had been haunting me for the past couple of days. Minji constantly invades my thoughts, stirring emotions I couldn’t comprehend. Everything about her felt new and strange, but I couldn’t deny that being around her made me feel happy. I drop my gaze to the floor as she turns to me, hoping she didn’t catch me staring.

“Sooo…” She began, filling the silence. “Winter seems nice.”

I tilt my head in confusion at her sudden interest in Winter. “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”

“How’d you two meet?” She asks with an odd amount of intrigue

For the most part, Minji is an open book. I never have to guess what she’s thinking or feeling, and unlike her parents, she never seems to be hiding some ulterior motive beneath a gentle exterior - until now. At first, I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but being the open book she is, it became clear as day that Minji was hiding something. But why? Maybe it wasn’t my place to pry, but my instincts told me otherwise.

“We have english together, but we didn’t start being… ‘friends’ until a couple days ago. She and Yujin kinda just… inserted themselves into my life. And now we’re here,” I explain. Minji’s brow furrows in response.

“Wait, you only started talking a couple days ago? I thought you two were dating.” She hurriedly clasps her hand over her mouth as if she didn’t mean to let that out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“We’re not dating,” I say a little too quickly. “Just friends.”

The cabin falls silent as both of our cheeks turn a light crimson. Minji turns back to the window, and my eyes gravitate towards her face once again as if that’s where they’re meant to be. The light and the shadows dance on her skin creating a work of art right in front of me. She’s beautiful in the most impossible way, defying everything I know about the world just by existing. My heart pumps faster and faster as my mind begins to run wild, imagining the two of us together as more than friends. Going on dates and being close. Just like this. Maybe Minji wanted to know if Winter and I were dating because she’s interested in me. I quickly shot that idea down. Those kinds of thoughts only lead down a bad road.

“My parents used to take my brother and I to the fair when we were younger,” Minji says, snapping me out of my daze. “We would go around and play all the games, trying to win the prizes. The games were always rigged, so we never won any. One time, I got so upset that I couldn’t win a bear toy that I started crying. My dad ended up paying extra just so he could get me the bear.” A gentle smile graces her face as she recounts her memory.

“We would always ride the ferris wheel at the end so we could watch the sunset from the top of the ferris wheel, just like this. I was always too short, so my dad had to hoist me up so I could see through the window.” She chuckles lightly before her smile eventually fades from her lips and her gaze falls to the floor. “Sorry, being here must have made me nostalgic. It’s been awhile since I got to watch the sunset from a ferris wheel.”

“Don’t be sorry. I like hearing you talk.” My eyes grow wide with panic as I realize the implication of my words. “I-I meant I like you. I MEAN YOUR STORY!! I liked your story…” My face falls into my palms in an attempt to hide the deepening blush, and I let out a muffled “Fuck” under my breath. I can hear Minji trying to stifle her laughter, which only makes me feel worse. I wanted nothing more than to bury myself six feet under and stay there for eternity.

“I know what you mea- AHHH!!!”

I jolt my head up right as Minji jumps from her seat and into my lap. Bewilderment, accompanied by a million other emotions, runs through my mind as she wraps her arms around my head and hides her face in the crook of my neck.

“M-Minji, uhh w-what are you-”

“There’s a spider on the seat!” She exclaims, her voice tingling with fear. I maneuver my head around her and see the tiniest spider I’ve ever seen scurrying around the spot where Minji once sat. “Ahhh, I really hate spiders!!”

I try to pry her body off of me, but her grip is tighter than an anaconda. A wave of deja vu washes over me as I suddenly start to feel lightheaded.

“M-Minji… Y-you’re choking m-me…” Right before I feel like I’m about to blackout, Minji releases her grip on my neck and slides off of my lap into the space next to me. The seat is a little cramped, but it’s better than dying in such an embarrassing way.

“I-I’M SO SORRY, YUNO!!” She apologizes, her face a bright tomato red. She flinches as the spider continues to move around on the opposite seat, wincing with each movement. “I-I really, really, really, REALLY hate spiders.”

Even after she almost choked me to death, I couldn’t help but find her cute as she shields her eyes with delicate hands, her face nestled into my shoulder. A grin threatens to grow on my lips as I try to comfort her with a few gentle pats on the head.

“I used to be afraid of spiders when I was a kid,” I began in a calming tone. “Whenever I saw one, I always cried to my parents about it. One day, I found one in the bathroom, so I ran to my mom sobbing and told her to kill it. Instead of killing it, she held me in her arms and carried me to the bathroom where it was. I was just like you, hiding my face on her shoulder because I was too scared to even look at it. In a gentle voice, she told me about how it was alone and probably looking for its family. If I killed it, then its family would be sad. She told me that she would be sad if I was suddenly killed when I was out all alone. From that day on, I was never afraid of spiders. Every time I saw one, I would carry it outside so it could find its family.” 

I chuckle under my breath. “I don’t think it actually works like that, but I don’t kill spiders because of her. Because of my mom.”

As I finish my story, I notice Minji’s eyes watering and her lip quivering as if she’s about to cry. “Ah shit, are you okay?” I ask with great concern.

“S-Sorry, that was just… really sweet,” she sniffles. I bit my lip, trying to suppress my smile as I simultaneously fought the urge to wipe her tears away. As she calms down, we sit together in silence, watching the tiny spider walk around the cabin.

“He’s just a little guy,” Minji utters, a cute grin on her face. “I wonder why I was so scared of you before.”

Just then, my phone buzzes in my pocket. I open up the notification to see a selfie of Yujin and Danielle with the giant Spiderman plush wedged in between them. Despite Danielle’s awful personality, Yujin seems to like her, so I guess it’s alright. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve easily mistaken them for siblings.

“Aww, that’s cute. We should send one back,” Minji suggests, her eyes lighting up. 

“O-oh, uh, sure. How do I…” After a minute of hopelessly fumbling through the labyrinth of options on the screen, Minji gently takes the phone from me and opens up the camera with a simple tap.

“Do you know how to use a phone, Yuno?” She teases.

“U-uh, no…” I answer, scratching the back of my head in embarrassment. Her eyes widened with surprise at my response. “It’s my first phone, and I just got it today so I haven’t really had a chance to properly look through it.”

“O-okay, well just press on this gray square over here if you wanna open up the camera,” she explains in a kind tone, free of any judgment. She raises her arm and I can see the two of us reflected onto the screen. “Scoot a little closer so we can both be in the frame.”

With a gulp, I scoot closer to her in the already cramped space. The flowery scent of her hair wafts through my nostrils, gentle and clean. Hypnotized by the scent, I don’t realize I’m staring at her until she nudges me with her elbow.

“Look at the camera,” she reminds me, a knowing smile playing on her lips. The phone camera manages to catch the redness of my cheeks as I glance back at my reflection. Minji snaps a few shots before reviewing her work.

“They came out pretty well, don’t you think?” She inquires, and I can only nod in agreement, despite my less-than-stellar appearance in the photos. Minji, on the other hand, looks as pretty as ever. Even when she’s not doing much, the camera seems to pick up on all her good sides. She fiddles with my phone for a little bit before handing it back to me.

“Here, I put my number in so you can send me the photos,” she says. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“N-not at all,” I stutter excitedly, my heart soaring in the air. Minji giggles at my elation and we share a laugh in that cramped ferris wheel cabin. In that moment, as the sunset bathes us in its warm glow, everything falls into place. The weird feelings, the incessant thoughts - they all lead to one undeniable truth. I’m in love with Minji Kim.

______________________________________________________________

As I step out of the cabin, I see the rest of our friends waiting for us at the front of the ferris wheel. Instinctively, I reach my hand out towards Minji as she carefully steps out, which she accepts with a small grin adorning her lips. Though the contact is brief, the memory of her delicate hand in mine etches itself into my memory.

“Soooooo, did you two have fun?” Hanni asks us with an unnerving smirk that could only mean trouble. Before I get a chance to answer however, Minji grabs her wrist and leads her away.

“I-I’m going to the bathroom, Hanni you’re coming with me!” Her voice echoes as she drags Hanni away, trailed by the rest of her friends like ducklings following their mother. Perplexed, Winter, Yujin, and I settle onto a nearby bench to rest in the shade.

“The ferris wheel was fun, I took a lot of pictures of the sunset!” Yujin shares, displaying the photos on his phone. Almost his entire gallery was full of sun from slightly varying angles, along with a few selfies with Danielle. Her gentler side she exclusively shows to Yujin is such a stark contrast from her usual coldness, it’s almost unsettling.

“I feel exhausted.” Winter slumps beside me, her head tilting to the side as if she was too tired to even hold it up. “Hanni is really nice, but I felt so drained after talking to her for five minutes. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from.” I quietly snicker to myself. That seems on brand for Hanni.

My mind wanders back to the epiphany I had earlier. “Um, can I ask you two something… odd?” Their heads perk up, looking at me expectantly. “Have you guys ever… ‘dated’ anyone before?”

“I’ve had crushes before, but I was always too scared to confess,” Yujin admits.

“What about you, Winter? Have you ever had a boyfriend?” I ask.

“Um, not exactly…” With a hint of reluctance, she retrieves her phone from her purse, revealing a polaroid tucked in her phone case -  a snapshot of Winter with her arms wrapped around a girl with striking eyes and jet black hair.

Both of our jaws drop, simultaneously shocked and impressed.

“Oh shit…” I mutter before coming to my senses. She’s pretty, but not Minji pretty.

“Wow, that’s your girlfriend, Winter?!” Yujin exclaims. Winter smiles shyly as she puts her phone back in her purse.

“Y-yeah. She’s studying in Japan right now, so I don't get to see her often. I hope she visits soon; I think you guys would get along with her really well.” The look on her face as she thinks of her girlfriend reminds me of my mother’s face in old wedding photos. I don’t understand anything about love or relationships, but that face told me everything I needed to know. “Why did you want to know, Yuno?”

My cheeks suddenly turn warm. “Oh, uh… No reason.”

As if on cue, Minji and the rest of her friends return from the restroom, with Minji looking noticeably flustered and Hanni more excited than ever.

“It’s getting dark, so we were planning on heading back,” Danielle says. “Do you guys need a ride home?”

“O-oh, it’s okay, w-we were gonna take the subway home,” Winter replies.

“WAIT!” Yujin shouts suddenly before turning to her. “Winter, can we ride with them? Pleaseeeeee?” He grabs her sleeve and looks up at her with pleading eyes. 

“I-I guess if it’s okay with them.” “WOOHOO!” Yujin cheers. “I call shotgun!” He dashes toward the parking lot, his Spiderman plush bobbing in his arms.

“Hey, that’s my seat!” Hanni exclaims, running after him. In the midst of commotion, I sneak over to Minji.

“H-hi,” I stutter, brimming with nervous excitement.

“H-hey.” Even with the sun completely set, her smile manages to illuminate everything around us. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but the air felt different compared to the times we’ve talked before. That strange yet euphoric feeling still lingers in my chest, this time I finally know what that feeling is - I think. Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s the fumes of fried food decaying my brain. The only thing I know for sure is that I like being around Minji.

“Are you two going to come with us or no?” Hyein calls out to us while Haerin glares suspiciously in our direction. Flustered, we walk side by side towards the parking lot, following distantly behind the rest of the group. The scattered murmurs of the crowd begin to fade behind us, the chirping of crickets and the subtle crunching of rocks underneath our feet taking their place. An ombre of growing indigo looks down at us from a cloudless sky, dotted with specks of starlight thousands of lightyears away. Despite their distance, they shine brightly against the night sky, almost as bright as the girl walking next to me.

“Yuno,” Minji voice breaks through my daydreams, pulling me back to the present. “You’re staring.”

“Ah… Sorry…” I turn my head away to hide the heat creeping up my face, prompting a soft giggle from her.

“You know, you’re not what I expected at all.”

Curious, I turn my gaze back towards her. “What do you mean?”

Her eyebrows furrow as she thinks about her response, and I bite my lower lip to stifle my smile at her cute expression. “Ever since sophomore year, I’ve always heard whispers about this scary guy that goes around fighting people. I never believed it because I thought it was too cliche to be true,” she begins, shooting me a playful glance I scratch the back of my head, suddenly feeling sheepish. 

“That is, until two years later, when I come face to face with the ‘scary guy’, all bloody and bruised from a fight that happened two seconds ago. When I first met you, I thought you were some jerk who liked hurting others for the fun of it. I was wrong and I’m sorry.” Minji looks up at me, eyes full of remorse. I’ve seen others use this look on the people I’ve hurt, but never on me. To be on the receiving end of it felt disconcerting.

“You don’t have to apolog-”

“You’re kind and caring and you never hesitate to stand up for what’s right even when no one else will. While I don’t agree with your methods, I think the reason why you fight is very admirable, and if people just stopped being scared of you for two seconds, they could see how cute of a person you are.” Her hand shoots up to her mouth while her eyes go wide with panic.

Did I hear her right? Did she just call me… cute??

“I MEANT GOOD!!” She exclaims, correcting herself. “I meant to say you’re a good person…” We stand there, turned away from each other, too embarrassed to fill the growing silence. The chorus of crickets is quickly drowned out by my heartbeat echoing in my ears. My entire body feels both uncomfortably warm and freezing cold at the same time. The sudden honk of a car horn makes us both jump. 

“What are you two still doing? Let’s go!” I turn to see Hanni yell at us from the back seat of an SUV. It seems that Yujin got to the front seat first. Minji and I both trudge towards the car, too embarrassed to even look at each other. Hanni steps out of the car and reclines the seat forward to let us get into the back, where Winter is sitting alone with two empty seats on either side of her. 

As we settle in the back seat, I immediately shut my eyes, hoping that falling asleep would make things better. One final thing stays in my mind as I slip into unconsciousness.

She thinks I’m cute.

______________________________________________________________

A gentle shake rouses me from my slumber.

“Yuno, we’re here,” I hear Winter say as my eyes slowly open, finding my bearings. Outside the window, I see the convenience store where Winter works at.

“Winter said you guys live around here, so I hope you don’t mind,” Danielle explains from the front seat. Minji and Hanni step out of the car, allowing for Winter and I to exit.

“See you guys around,” Hanni says, waving goodbye. My eyes meet Minji’s momentarily before we swiftly break away. Not even a second of eye contact and I can already feel my body temperature rising.

“Thanks for the ride! Byeeeeee!” Yujin exclaims as the car disappears down the street. The three of us say our goodbyes to each other before we go our separate ways.

A flurry of emotions fills my stomach as I look back on the oddly eventful day. What started as an excuse to get out of the house turned into my first time at the fair, with Minji no less. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m in some surreal dream and that I’ll wake up one day to find out that none of this ever happened. As odd as all of this feels, I have to admit that I did enjoy it. The ferris wheel especially was… fun.

As I enter my house, I see my dad sitting on the couch, watching some sitcom on the TV. Right. I completely forgot he’s “different” now.

“Hey, Yuno,” he greets, a bright smile on his face. It’s the first time in a while that I’ve seen his smile. “Did you eat? There’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry. I tried to cook dinner, but it didn’t turn out right.” A hearty chuckle leaves his lips, a sound that I vaguely remember hearing years ago. 

“I’m good. Thanks,” I say as I head towards the stairs. As my foot lands on the first step, a sudden impulse arises within me. “Uh, dad?”

“Hm?” His eyebrows perk up as he looks at me expectantly. I had no idea what I was planning on saying to him. Should I tell him about my day? Should I apologize? Should I tell him about my… “crush”? Is that what that is?

“Uh… Nevermind.” I hurry up the stairs, deciding against saying anything. My head was already filled to the brim with confusing emotions, I didn’t need to add more to the pile. I collapse onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of today playing in my mind like a broken record. I pull my phone out, fidgeting with the shiny piece of metal in my hand. Minji put her number in my phone. I can talk to her whenever I wanted to. And I do want to. My thumbs freeze right above the keyboard as I figure out what to say to her.

Maybe I should keep it simple with “Hey”. No, that’s too boring. How about “How are you feeling?” What am I, her doctor? Uhhh, maybe “I had fun today.” That’s stupid. Come on, think, Yuno, think. Fuck, I’m shit at this.

Is this what having a crush feels like? This sucks.

______________________________________________________________

Minji’s POV

“AGHHHHHHHHH!!!!” I scream into my pillow, hoping I don’t accidentally alert my parents to my “Teenage Angst”.

Minji!!! Why did you call him cute!? I mean, you’re not wrong, the way he got all embarrassed after missing the basketball hoop was kinda cut- WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN THINKING RIGHT NOW!? ARGHHHHHH!!!

I hold onto my bear toy for comfort as I wrestle with the conflicting emotions in my head. Maybe this is just a result of all the stress from prom preparation clouding my judgement and sending me into a whirlwind of confusion. A day that was supposed to be full of leisure and enjoyment was instead full of jealousy and confusion. It wasn’t entirely bad though; riding the ferris wheel with Yuno was… nice. I feel my heart flutter in my chest as I recall that memory. Surely, Hanni’s teasing couldn’t be right… could it? Am I… in love with Yuno Lin?

[ldrfanatic]

i love you

part two of the breakup series

i'm really digging this y'all, sorry not sorry

one two

bookcase slytherin boys

song listened to while writing - i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrahams

"why am i always in the wrong?!"

you pinched the bridge of your nose between you index finger and thumb, desperately clinging to whatever semblance of sanity you had left. after deciding to go back to being friends, you and theo had been butting heads for weeks.

admittedly, he wasn't the only one fucking this thing up, but he continued to act as though nothing had happened. he repeatedly crossed decidedly not friendly boundaries and acted like an overprotective boyfriend.

but he wasn't your boyfriend anymore. and you were starting to get tired of reminding him of that.

"i can't do this with you."

the finality of your tone seemed to dissolve theo's anger nearly instantly.

"w-what?"

"i said we could talk, we did. it was a beneficial conversation. but i set boundaries with you, theo. boundaries you've blatantly ignored. how can we be a good couple if we can't even be good friends?"

"but I don't want to lose you."

you looked at your ex-boyfriend, your best friend really, with a torn look.

"that's just the way life goes." you gathered your things into your arms and headed towards the door. you lingered in the archway, turning over your shoulder to blow theo a tearful kiss. "i love you, i'm sorry."

-=-

theodore nott had no idea what to do. now that he was officially without you, it seemed like he was just spectating life. nothing felt real.

after a few weeks, you'd gotten to the point where you would talk and even joke occasionally, but only in public settings. theo tried not to push his luck with it. he was fortunate that you would even look at him after what he did.

instead, theo did his best to push his emotions away. he tried to drink them away at first, but once you heard, you immediately cut contact with him until he promised to drink only when he was in a good headspace.

everywhere he went he'd slip up with an inside joke or a code that only the two of you knew. even mattheo had started to flash him rather pitying looks.

finally, after a grueling charms lesson, theo had worked up enough courage to talk to you before lunch began.

"Y/n."

you graced him with a smile that would've made him feel better. that is, if it had reached your eyes enough to be considered a genuine smile. after three years of dating, no one could detect one of your fake smiles like theodore.

"yeah theodore?"

you'd finally stopped calling him nott but theodore wasn't much better if he was being honest.

"i just wanted to apologize. i know i wasn't at my best when we were-"

your voice interrupted him.

"you were the best. you were also the worst."

"i know. i was a dick, it is what it is. it's a habit i need to kick."

"age old curse."

theo took a few steps closer, and gently grasped your hand when you didn't step away.

"i just want to make amends. lately it seems like shit is never-ending. but i needed you to know that how everything ended, everything that went down between us, it haunts me."

"it's okay theodore. we're friends now."

you smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. it may not have been completely genuine, but it was a healing smile. you were healing. and who was theo to disrupt that? loving you and wanting you to be happy had to also include stepping back and letting you be happy even if it had to be without him, right?

"right. friends."

theo wanted to be more than friends. way more than friends.

-=-

"i'm wrong again."

"what?"

pansy looked up from her potions textbook as you stomped into the dorm room and plopped face down onto the bed.

"i slammed the door closed on theo earlier. whatever might have been is definitely never going to happen now."

"i thought you didn't want anything more to happen?"

you had to curse your best friend for being so accurate all the damn time. did she always have to be right? your voice was muffled as it sounded from the other side of the room.

"i thought so too. but, i can't get him out of my head."

pansy placed a spare piece of parchment in her book, and closed it, clearly resigned that she wouldn't be getting any work done tonight. instead, she perched on the edge of the bed and rubbed your back soothingly.

"that's normal. you guys dated for over three years."

"but this is different. what if he's my soulmate?"

your eyes welled up.

"then he'll come back to you."

-=-

<taglist>

@moonlightreader649 @thatdammchickennugget @helendeath @fandom-life-12 @bouquetolegoflowers @maryvibess @nighttimemoonlover @blobsblobician

[metalnecklace]

Stubborn When It Comes To This

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Words: 9075 (this really got away from me)

Warnings: Smut (mdni), Plus size reader, Use of (Y/N), Probably some historical inaccuracies, Mentions of canon character death, Language, Oral (both f and m receiving), Fingering, Light choking, Spitting, Creampie, Unsafe sex (wrap it up, folks), Praise, Consent is sexy!, Pet names

Notes: This was supposed to be a super quick thing, I have no idea what happened

Summary: Javier Peña is frustrating, until he isn’t.

Masterlist

Arrogant.

If I could pick any word to describe Javier Peña that’s the one I’d use. Arrogant. Or maybe asshole. Bastard. Piece of shit.

Maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

I had been working with the DEA for about two years as a secretary, and usually didn’t have much issue. Luckily most of the men left me alone due to my larger frame, but not even that stopped the infuriating Agent Peña from being a thorn in my side. My entire time was spent blocking him from documents he wanted, no matter how hard he shamelessly flirted with me for the first few months before he gave up the charade. I knew it wasn’t sincere, and I knew I’d be the one getting in trouble if I let him have what he wanted.

So I said the one word he hated the most: No.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he sighed, exasperated. “Just give me what I want. Do you understand what’s at stake here?”

“Yeah, my job,” I grumbled, “and my sanity. Javier, we can't keep doing this.”

“You’re right, we can’t. So give me those files.”

I looked up at him, putting down the pen I had been writing with. “I can’t give you those files. I barely have access to them, so what makes you think you can?”

He chewed his lip, staring at me while I refused to budge. “Fine. But if Escobar gets away again I’ll know who to blame.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m to blame for your incompetence.”

He narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenching so hard his lips were in a pout. I thought for a moment he looked almost adorable, but shook the thought from my head the second it entered.

“You know what? That’s fine. You sit here like a good girl behind your desk and frilly little blouse, while I put my ass on the line so you can live safely.” He stood up to his full height, looking down his nose at me. I had never felt smaller, but couldn’t avert my gaze. “Can I have the files, yes or no?”

“Fuck you, Javi.” I gritted out between my teeth.

He grumbled something under his breath that sounded like mierda, then turned on his heel and marched away.

I grabbed a scrap piece of paper from my desk and spent the next fifteen minutes scribbling on it with my pen until it ripped through the surface. It was upsetting, the way he got under my skin like no other. I had never dealt with anybody like Javier Peña.

It had been a lot tougher to deal with him since Carillo’s passing. He no longer danced around the subject as much, and got straight to the point. Or demands, I should say. His patience was thinner and it seemed as though it was getting harder for him to keep his temper at bay.

I felt bad about my comment. He had never spoken to me the way he had, even when I had frustrated him so much in the past. But I knew he was still feeling the weight of Carillo’s death. It was no secret Javi blamed himself.

I had just gotten so sick of his attitude, I couldn’t stop the words from slipping out. Of course he had called me a good girl too. I was always dressed like a school teacher instead of the usual classy outfits the secretaries had. They always looked so poised, perfect, and sexy, whereas I always felt a bit frumpy when I tried to show off a bit more of my body. So I stuck to the knee length pencil skirts with flowy, frilly blouses tucked in and buttoned all the way up.

Perhaps what bothered me most was that he was doing the one thing that most of the women in that office were accused of. Everybody knew he slept around, either with informants or the other women in the office that allowed his company. When he wasn’t partaking in those options he could be found at the whorehouse or the bar. He did everything to get what he needed, who he needed. But the second any of the women indulged in the same they were shamed by the men around them.

On my very first day I could see Javier Peña coming from a mile away. The way his jeans wrapped around his legs and ass like they were made just for his shape, and the glisten of his skin shining underneath the top three undone buttons of his shirt. The pout of his lips, the warmth of his eyes. I could feel myself drooling just watching the way he sauntered down the hall to my desk. His fingers stretched out over the paperwork on my desk in front of me as he leaned in like we were sharing a secret. The pout on his lips slipped into a smile that made me glad I was already sitting down. That smile disappeared once he realized I wasn’t going to be giving him what he wanted.

He tried the sweet approach for months, but I never budged. It frustrated him, that was apparent, but I couldn’t afford to get in trouble because of him. I had been transferred to Colombia because I was well trusted in my position at home, and didn’t need to jeopardize that reputation because of some pretty boy.

Even though he was very, very pretty.

I didn’t see him for two weeks after my comment about his incompetence. It was strange enough for me to notice, since I usually saw him every few days if not every day. I hadn’t even seen him around the office, which meant he was either away or avoiding me. I figured it was the former since I doubted I was even a speck on his radar. Sure we pissed each other off, and I usually went home imagining what it would be like to go home to him, but to him I was just a pain in the ass secretary who stood in his way.

Eventually news traveled down the pipeline that Javi had been caught up in Los Pepes, which was a complete shock to me. I never suspected he would do something like that, but I assumed that just showed I didn’t know him well enough at all.

Without his presence the office seemed duller. I found I was just moving through the days, not realizing how much I had looked forward to our little arguments before.

When Murphy announced that they got Escobar, the first person I thought of was Javi. The man who had spent all that time, all those years, just to be sent home in the final hour. My heart ached for him, but I was mostly just glad the fight was over.

The fight with Escobar, anyway.

It wasn’t long before we were assigned to the Cali Cartel case. Some of the secretaries were leaving, but a select few got to be reassigned. I wasn’t sure where I was going to be assigned, but was told that I had specifically been requested.

Imagine my surprise to find I had been requested by Javier Peña himself.

I walked into his office, expecting to find a new agent, but found those eyes pinning me in place.

“Javi?” My mouth was gaped open, and I’m sure my eyebrows were raised comically high on my forehead.

“(Y/N),” he greeted me as though it was the most normal thing in the world. “You’re early.”

“You’re the one who requested me?” I asked, still shocked. “Why are you even here? I thought you got sent home.”

He chuckled and resumed looking down at the files on his desk. “I was, then they called me back. Turns out they need someone willing to do what it takes. As for you, yes, I requested you. Turns out you’re willing to do the same.”

He looked back up and met my eyes, his lips were quirked into a slight smile.

“I figured if you could keep me away from those files that long then I’d need someone like you guarding me.”

“Guarding you?” I was so confused.

“Yes.” He stood up and walked around his desk so he was standing in front of me. Whenever I had spoken to him in the past I had been sitting at my desk with him hovering over me. This time we were face to face, and although he was still taller than me it felt nice to at least be closer to eye level. “I need somebody to make sure I’m not bothered throughout the day. I have way more responsibility and people depending on me than before, and I can’t have people thinking they can interrupt me whenever they think their bullshit is more important than mine.”

I nodded, chewing on my lip. My heart stuttered as I watched his eyes flick to my movements before moving back up my face.

“That’s funny,” I finally said, “considering it was you who used to think their bullshit was the most important.”

His smile grew into a smirk. “Exactly. Which is how I know you’ll be perfect.”

My face heated at his praise, but I turned away before he could notice. “Great. I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”

I was stationed just outside his office door, and did my best to keep people out unless he told me otherwise. Although I was slightly annoyed to not only be working with him yet again, but to be working for him, there was a strong part of me that wanted to do my best. I wanted to do well for him.

To be good for him.

Javi was right, though, he did have more riding on his shoulders. There were times where he worked throughout the night, and I would walk in the next morning to find him in the same spot as he was the evening before with the same clothes. Other times he was gone for a few days, or even weeks.

I was usually quite swamped with whatever he needed me to do, but even though I worked for him I felt like I never saw him. Javi’s voice over the phone became a comfort, because then at least I’d know he was alive and well. Or at least physically well.

“Javi, are you alright?” I asked during a phone call one afternoon.

“Yeah,” he grunted, “of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He hung up, leaving me wondering what he wasn’t sharing. Not that he owed me any explanation. His work was exhausting, and he was putting every part of himself into it.

He finally caught one of the brothers, and the office decided to go out to the bar to celebrate the amazing victory. Javi didn’t seem to care that he made a huge step forward in not only the case, but also his career, and told everyone to go out without him. I watched his back, forever tense, as he dragged his feet into his office with his head down. He didn’t even acknowledge me when he passed by, but I tried to ignore the hurt that radiated through my bones.

I was dismissed with just a wave of his hand, and I went home to change. It had been a while since I had gone anywhere but work and home, and I couldn’t help but feel as though I wanted more. Every time I went home at the end of the day I longed for someone to fall into.

My closet was almost embarrassing, since I mostly had workwear that was not usually appropriate for a bar. In that moment I envied the other women at the office with their working outfits that looked so easy to transform to nighttime events. There were a few girls I had become friends with, but they were much smaller than me so I wouldn’t even be able to raid their wardrobes, and I was too proud to ask for fashion advice.

I swiped through skirt after skirt after blouse until I came across a dress I had tucked away toward the back. The tags were still on, but the little black number was perfect. It was slightly small when I squeezed myself into it, but only slightly. I just wouldn’t be able to sit in it. I also had to leave one of my top buttons undone, showing off the slopes of my breasts. The hemline was a bit shorter than the pencil skirts I usually sported, but it did the trick.

The mirror reflected a woman that I nearly didn’t recognize, until my red painted lips turned up into a smile. My eyes squinted a bit at the corners, showing my true happiness to be out of the office and ready to take on the nightlife.

I was on my way to the designated bar when I felt a pang in my chest, like a tug toward a certain building. Leaning forward, I asked the cab driver if we could make a quick stop. We pulled up outside the office and I slowly made my way inside. The lights in the hallways were dimmer than usual since the other offices were unoccupied, but one doorway was still bright.

Of course he was still there.

I stood in the doorway and studied him for a moment. Javi’s white shirt was a bit wrinkled, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a few buttons undone. His tie was laying off to the side across his desk, next to his arms which led up to where his hands cradled his head. He was clearly stressed, if the ash tray of cigarettes were any indication, along with the empty bottle of whiskey next to them.

For a moment I thought about walking over to him and smoothing my hands over his shoulders. They seemed so tense they were almost up to his ears. But I knew that wouldn’t be the right move. Instead I just knocked softly on the doorframe.

He jumped a bit, looking up to see who was there. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head once he saw me, and he dragged his gaze down my body and back up to my face. I could feel my chest heating up but stayed steady on my feet. I knew what I looked like, and felt better in my skin than I had in a long time.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, both confusion and shock etched across his features.

“I should be asking you the same question,” I said. “You know we’re celebrating your accomplishment right? If you’re not going to join us, at least give yourself a bit of a break.”

He sighed and sat back in his chair, his hands clasped together on his lap. “Just because I caught one of them doesn’t mean crime stops for the night.”

I shrugged. “I know, but still. Why don’t you relax for the night and let them panic a bit?”

“I haven’t seen you wear that before,” he commented, changing the subject to keep me from pressing. To my shock, his eyes shamelessly roamed my figure once more.

He used to flirt before he gave up, back when I was just a barrier between him and whatever he wanted. But even then, he would comment on my hair, accessories, nails, but never my body. Even when he commented on my clothes it was a throwaway comment about the patterns or adornments.

The way he was following the way the fabric of my dress hugged my waist, my hips, my soft tummy, had me blushing like crazy. It wasn’t subtle by any means, and certainly not what I was used to from Javi.

“Yeah, I bought it a while ago but never had a reason to wear it.” I smoothed down imaginary wrinkles as a way to distract myself from his gaze. “Figured now was as good a time as any.”

He hummed in agreement and looked back down to the papers sprawled out on his desk. I wondered briefly what it would be like to be those papers before tamping down that train of thought. My face was already burning from his attention, I didn’t need to make it worse.

“Well, I hope you have fun tonight. You’ve been working quite hard, you deserve a break.” He still stared ahead at the papers, as if it was too difficult to look at me again.

“Javi,” I said, causing him to drag his eyes away enough to finally look me in the eye, “you should really come.”

He nodded slowly, then looked away once more. “I’ll try.”

I sighed and wished him a goodnight, hoping I would see him again before the night was through. The click of my heels echoed throughout the empty hallway as I walked away from Javi’s doorway.

Although I occupied myself with my small group of work friends at the bar, I still kept a lookout for my boss just in case he actually attempted to make an appearance. After about an hour I gave up, realizing that he wasn’t going to grace us with his presence.

I had known that in the past he would only go out with either Carillo or Murphy, that he wasn’t the celebratory type, but I had hoped things had changed.

One of my coworkers approached me. I hadn’t really talked to him other than being the middle person whenever he needed to speak to Javi, but he seemed quite nice.

“I don’t normally see you out of work,” he said. His name was James, and he was slightly taller than Javi, but didn’t have an ounce of his charm.

“That’s because I’m hardly ever out of work.” I chuckled, bringing my drink to my lips. When I first ordered it I had to struggle not to cringe at the strong taste, but after another two it was going down like water. Dangerous, but much needed.

“I’d love to see more of you,” James said, not shy in the way his eyes took in every part of me. I felt myself struggling not to shy away, so unlike the confidence I felt when Javi did the same. “You’ll have to get the boss man to give you some more time away.”

I smiled. “Yeah, like that will ever happen. You know he needs the best,” I joked.

James stepped closer, his cologne invading my senses. “Well, he needs to learn how to share.”

“Who needs to share?”

My back straightened as though someone shoved a rod through my spine. “Javi?” I asked spinning to see him standing behind me, a smile directed at me, his eyes downright murderous toward James.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Javi brought his glass of, what I assumed was whiskey to his lips, and raised his hand to my lower back. I welcomed the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of my dress while his eyes remained on the man in front of us.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming out,” James spoke calmly, as if he couldn’t tell the tension radiating between us. “I heard you weren’t the partying type. Well, anymore.”

Javi’s smile never wavered, but his eyes darkened enough that I noticed. “I wasn’t planning on making an appearance but somebody reminded me of how hard we’ve all been working.” He turned to look at me, his hand tightening slightly on my back. “If we don’t celebrate our successes we might as well let them win now.”

“You mean your success?” James wasn’t backing down.

“Teamwork.” Javi countered, looking back up at James. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.” His hand slipped around to my hip, pulling me into his space. James’ eyes flickered to the motion, his smile turning into a smirk.

“Wow. Looks like you’ve grown up a bit, Peña.”

“Someone had to.” His hand tightened, my chest felt on fire.

James glanced toward me, then the hand at my hip, before aiming his glare back to Javi. “Although it is comforting to see some habits haven’t changed.” He stepped back, turning to part from us, but not before throwing over his shoulder, “you two have a wonderful night!”

I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye before James was out of sight. Javi removed his hand from me and started to walk away, but not before I spun on him, ready for a fight.

“What the fuck was that?” I was shocked at Javi’s display, but mostly downright furious.

He shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“All of this,” I gestured between us, and to my hip, still feeling the warmth of his skin, “and the whole ‘someone had to’? Are you serious?”

His eyes darkened. “What are you trying to say here?”

“You have no right,” I hissed through my teeth in anger. “I may work for you but I don’t belong to you.”

“I didn’t even do anything. If you want to keep talking to James, be my guest.” He stepped closer, I could smell the whiskey on his lips. “But don’t think I’m going to stand by while that shitbag tries to pick you up.”

“Maybe I wanted him to pick me up, ever think about that?” I crossed my arms, then immediately uncrossed them when his eyes flickered to my cleavage on display.

“I did think about it, but thought you might want to know what kind of man was trying to do it.” He downed the rest of his drink then zeroed back in on me. “That man has been sleeping his way through the office and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. I didn’t think you’d want to be one of them.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “So he’s you?”

His lips tightened into a thin line, his jaw clenching. “Right.”

It felt like someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I wasn’t completely wrong either.

“Javi, I’m sorry I-“

He held up his hand. “No, you’re right. I won’t be bothering you anymore, don’t worry. Have a good rest of your night.”

I didn’t bother trying to stop him as he set his empty glass at the bar and walked away. I sighed, finding myself alone, and when I looked around I noticed James was already chatting with another woman, her head thrown back in laughter. My night was ruined, so I went home.

Javi didn’t return to the office for another week. I had been told he was away looking for ways to keep Gilberto Rodriguez in prison, but he hadn’t left me a single note. He never even called me the entire time he was away. I worked away with what I had delivered to me by others, but Javier Peña never contacted me directly.

He had to return to his office eventually, but it only happened after Franklin Jurado was murdered. I knew Javi was beyond pissed and frustrated. But so was I, especially after he walked into his office without a single acknowledgment thrown my way.

I immediately stood and followed him into his office before he even had a chance to sit down.

“What do you need, (Y/N)?” He asked, still not looking my way,

“What do I need? What do I need, Javier?” My chest heaved while I tried to contain my anger. “What the fuck?”

He finally looked up, his face placid. “Unless this has to do with keeping that motherfucker locked up, then I suggest you save it for later.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, then walked out of his office, slamming the door behind me. I barely paused to grab my purse before storming out of the office, not giving a single shit who was watching my temper tantrum.

I marched myself to the nearest bar, ordering the cheapest whiskey they had. I wasn’t wanting to get drunk, just needed to dull the senses a bit. Calm the fires that licked at my heart.

Two drinks later I found myself feeling enough of the effects and bravery for what I wanted to do. I laid more than enough cash on the bar and clutched my purse to keep me steady as I walked out and in the direction of a certain apartment.

I had only been to Javi’s apartment once before, and it was only to drop off paperwork he had needed. He had barely cracked the door, not wanting to cross our work and home boundaries, which I appreciated in the moment. This time I was ready to run across those boundaries if he’d let me.

Javi never answered his door. I knocked over and over but no response. I sighed, realizing he probably hadn’t left the office. It felt as though I was doing a walk of shame as I made my way out to the street to try and flag down a cab.

The cab passed by the office and I almost asked if we could stop, but no longer felt the fight that had brought me to Javi’s apartment. Instead I just rested my head on the window and watched the lights pass by until we stopped outside my place. I trudged up the small flight of stairs and rounded the corner to find the man I had been looking for leaning against my door.

He was still in his navy suit from work, though his white dress shirt underneath was slightly wrinkled. His tie was missing which gave me room to see the expanse of tan skin exposed with his top three buttons undone.

I stopped in my tracks. “What’re you doing here?”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge deal. “It’s later. I figured you still wanted to talk.”

I glared at him, his expression still not changing as if he was already bored from what I would have to say. Instead of lashing out in my hallway I pushed past him to unlock the door. I walked in leaving it open, he got to choose whether or not he crossed that boundary. Sure enough, I heard the door close with a click and the lock slid into place. I was glad he took the same safety precautions as me.

“Take a seat wherever.” I waved toward my living room before making my way into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and thought about it before pouring myself more whiskey. Javi would appreciate it, but I probably needed to slow down. I poured myself a glass of water instead.

I brought his alcohol and my water out to the living room and handed him the former before sitting in the chair opposite him.

“So,” he started, “what did you want to talk about? Back at the office, I mean.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “You’ve been a real jerk.”

He didn’t seem shocked whatsoever and nodded for me to keep going.

“I’ve been working my ass off for you, even though I did not like you, and you’ve been so rude. You hardly give me the time of day, and the whole James thing was fucked up.” I felt like everything I had to say was falling apart. I was spiraling, no longer fueled by the alcohol and anger running through my bloodstream just an hour earlier.

“Okay,” he said. “You done?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m done.”

He stood up, drained his glass, and placed it on the table. “Alright. Sorry for being an ass. Hope you have a good night.”

My mouth dropped open as he turned to leave. “Javi!”

He stopped but didn’t turn back to look at me.

“You can’t just leave, don’t you have anything to say?” I stood up and walked over to stand in front of him. He wouldn’t look at me.

“I don’t have anything to say. I apologized, what more do you want?”

“Javi, come on. There must be something else going on. I know you’re frustrated with work but that doesn’t explain your behaviour-“

His head snapped up, his eyes locking on mine.

“You have no idea what I’m feeling so don’t fucking act like it.”

“Then tell me! Tell me, Javi,” I begged.

He grabbed my upper arms and pushed me back toward the wall. His hand came up to the back of my head to cushion it against the hard surface, causing my breath to catch in my throat. I couldn’t look away from the heat burning in his eyes, intense and focused directly on me.

“I have seen shit that would keep you up nights. Stuff nightmares are made of. And I’m so fucking tired. Half the reason I smoke as much as I do, no matter how hard I’ve tried to quit, are to stop my hands from shaking, and the only comfort I’ve found is either in someone else’s bed or at the end of a fucking bottle.” He softened his grip on my arm. “Until I met you.”

I opened my mouth to speak but the look he gave me was enough to stop me in my tracks.

“Ever since you walked through that door you’ve been the only thing I think about. Whiskey doesn’t taste the same, smoking has lost all its effect, and I wouldn’t dream of being in any bed but yours. If only you’d have me. I know I don’t deserve you. You’re so good, you’re the hope in this world. I don’t deserve to carve out my own comfort in you.” He pushed himself even closer. I could feel the heat between our lips. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you. Craving you.”

He leaned in, his nose brushing against the underside of my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled my scent, sighing out and causing goosebumps to erupt over my skin.

“If you tell me to stop then I will, just say the word. I’ll walk away, I’ll move away if I have to. I’ll never bother you again.” His voice was raspy, a restraint pulled tight over his vocal cords. “But if you don’t stop me then I’m afraid I never will. I’m addicted to you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

“Javi,” I breathed, finally opening my eyes again to find him pulled away enough to observe my reaction. “I-“

He shook his head slightly. “Yes or no, querida. Do you want this? Do you want me as much as I want you?” His voice was a whisper, barely loud enough to hear, shared only between us like a secret though we were alone.

I nodded my head, then said, “yes, Javi. Yes.”

Kissing him was like coming home after a long day. The plush press of his lips quenched a thirst I didn’t realize was that strong within me. It was everything I wanted. Everything I needed.

His arms were strong as they held me against his body, pulling me in tighter and tighter. I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t stop. Our lips slotted together perfectly, he pushed and I pulled, drinking him in. I moaned into his mouth, giving him an opportunity to slide his tongue past my lips.

We pulled away gasping for air, our chests heaving together. His eyes searched mine for any sign of regret or hesitancy. He never found it. The only thing radiating from my very being was want.

“Wow,” I sighed out, “that was… wow.”

He chuckled and leaned in to peck at my lips. “It doesn’t have to stop if you don’t want it to.” His lips smudged kisses across my jaw, then down to my neck. I moaned when he reached my collarbone, licking a strip up behind my ear.

“I don’t ever want to stop,” I said, slightly out of breath.

“Good,” he growled against my skin before sinking his teeth in enough to make me groan. “Me neither.”

“I need you, Javi,” I said, my voice turning to a moan at the tail end of his name.

“I know, lo se, hermosa,” he spoke between bites along my neck. “Show me your bed, baby.”

I pulled back as much as he would let me and led him by the front of his shirt through my hallway until we got to my room. Before I could turn around to face him again he had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his front. His name left my lips in sighs and moans while his hands slid up my body to cup my breasts, all while his lips still continued exploring any inch of skin they could reach.

My ass pressed back against his aching cock that could be felt through his suit pants. He pulled his lips away from my neck enough to whimper in my ear as I kept grinding myself back against him. His thumbs rubbed against my nipples through the fabric of my blouse and bra, but soon enough he pulled away with a huff.

“You look so sexy in this outfit, baby, but I need to feel you,” he said, his eyes roving over my clothed figure. He reached up and flicked the frills at my collar with his fingertips, smiling gently at me.

“Thought you hated the frills.” I remembered him commenting on them several times.

He shook his head, disbelief in his eyes. “They drive me fucking crazy, keeping up that good girl image. You were always such a good girl with everyone.” He leaned in and kissed me, pulling away just enough that I could still feel his lips. “For everyone except me.”

I gasped as he bit my lower lip, tugging on it slightly. His hands started undoing the buttons on my blouse as he kept talking.

“Always so vulgar, dismissive, uncaring with me. Pushing me away, telling me no.” His lips followed the skin he uncovered as he continued to slowly unbutton my shirt. “But you can be a good girl, can’t you?”

He looked up at me, his big, brown eyes tugging at my heart. He smirked and shoved me backward onto the bed. I barely got my bearings before feeling his body following mine, caging me in. There was no way I could move as he pressed me into the mattress and continued kissing his way down my body.

“You’re going to be such a good girl for me. Aren’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, Javi,” I moaned. “I’ll be so good for you.”

I had never planned on giving in so quickly to Javi but I melted as soon as I felt his lips on me.

“Good fucking girl,” he growled against my lower abdomen. His hands slipped down to my skirt which he peeled down my legs. “God, these thighs. They look fucking delicious.”

I went to close them, feeling too open for him, but he slapped the inside of one of them before I could. He chased the sting with a gentle kiss, then sucked a trail of marks inside my thighs up to my center. He practically ripped my panties off, bringing them to his nose and inhaling while his eyes were locked onto mine.

Lord, he was sinful. And I needed him bad.

“Javi,” I groaned, pressing my head back into the bed.

“Ask nicely, hermosa.” His hands slipped up my calves and thighs, pushing my legs apart enough for him to settle between them. He was on his knees on the floor, and my legs were over his shoulders. “I thought you were a good girl.”

“Please, Javi. Please,” I begged. I wasn’t even sure what I was asking for, pleasure forming a steady haze in my mind. All I knew was that if he didn’t touch me I was going to go crazy.

“There we go,” he said before sliding his thumb through my slit. He ran it over my clit before moving further toward my hole. “Fuck, so wet. You’re absolutely soaked for me.”

I gripped onto the blankets as his tongue swiped over my clit. His name and ‘please’ were the only words I could say or think while his head was buried between my thighs. My back arched as his tongue was relentless on my clit, his hands warm and firm holding my legs in place.

“Are you always wet like this? Or is it just for me?” He asked, pulling away enough to circle me with his middle finger. I writhed on the bed, wanting more. “You don’t have to answer that, baby, I think I already know.”

His finger slowly pushed into me, and I moaned for him. “Javi, fuck, need you, Javi.”

“Lo sé, querida, but I need you to be patient for me.” He continued to fuck me slowly with his finger, then slipped another one inside. I practically lifted off the bed when he crooked them and hit the right spot. “There we go.”

“Javi, please,” I breathed, my chest heaving. “I want to cum.”

He smirked at me, then spit directly on my clit. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feeling of his spit sliding between my folds.

“Filthy, baby, you’re fucking filthy. You love this, don’t you?” He dove back in, sucking my bud into his mouth while he was rubbing against the exact spot I needed.

Lightning started to shoot through my veins, and I knew I was close. Just in time for him to leave my clit. His tongue traveled down until it was fucking into me between his fingers. My chest burned as a blush spread up to my neck as I opened up for him. His nose nudged at my clit once, then twice, until it became a steady rhythm.

He pulled away. “Ride my face, baby, use your hips.” He pushed his tongue into me then pulled back out. “I won’t break, I can take it, come on. Fuck my face.”

I groaned and reached down to fist his hair between my fingers. He slipped his fingers from my cunt and wrapped his arms around my hips, pulling me down on his face. His nose pressed deliciously against my clit and his tongue continued to lick into me. I started to buck my hips, testing out the waters until he used his grip on me to encourage more movement.

It wasn’t long before I was pulling his head as close as possible and grinding my hips against him. Javi moaned against me, the vibration racing through my body. My toes started to curl as his grip tightened into steel. A thrill ran through me at the thought that there might be marks afterward, that his fingerprints would be worn into my skin as a reminder of how I felt in that moment.

My orgasm hit me like a bolt of lightning as it shot through me. “Javi, Javi, Javi,” I chanted.

He groaned and finally pulled away once I fell limp. “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful when you cum.”

I lifted my head to look at the man still on his knees for me. His face glistened with my juices, and my mouth watered at the thought of tasting myself on his lips. A blush continued to creep up onto my cheeks as I took in his disheveled appearance. He was still wearing his suit, which was extremely rumpled, and reminded me that I was still in my blouse and bra.

He leaned forward and kissed me, before he started to slide my shirt off my shoulders, then moved his hands to the straps of my bra. It was almost strange how delicate he was after the strength he showed while holding me to his face, but he was gentle as he slid my straps down my arms. One of his hands went up my back to the clasp, and he undid it with a simple motion. I gasped as he smirked at me while pulling the fabric off my chest.

I was always very conscious of my breast size. They were considerably larger from a young age, and something I had always tried to hide. The first time I hadn’t was that night at the bar. I thought about shying away from Javi as he uncovered them, but the look in his eyes made me freeze. His pupils almost completely engulfed the deep brown, and they were fixated on my fully exposed body.

“Holy fuck, hermosa,” he growled, reaching up to cup both breasts in his warm palms. “I knew you were beautiful, but seeing you like this? Unbelievable.”

His thumbs smoothed over my nipples, making me moan. The warmth of his mouth pressed on my sternum, then moved to my right breast.

“Javi,” I sighed, one of my hands coming up to the back of his head. His hair was still ruffled from when my hands were in it before, and he moaned when I gave a gentle tug to the curls at his nape.

He licked over my nipple, making my body jerk. “What do you need, baby?”

“Clothes, off, please,” I panted as he absolutely tortured my nipples with his teeth and tongue. “Need to see you.”

He pulled back, locking me in place with just a look. Slowly he started to slide his suit jacket off, maintaining eye contact even when he started undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. My skin vibrated with a restless want, my fingers itched to reach out and touch the tan planes of his stomach that he revealed to me. I was practically salivating by the time he dropped his shirt to the floor. His fingers moved to the button of his pants but I reached out to stop him.

“Wait,” I said. “Let me. Please.”

He smiled and dropped one of his hands, the other coming up to smooth the hair out of my face. “Okay, baby. You go ahead.”

I continued on, beaming up at him, trying my hardest to be sexy but the euphoria running through my limbs made it impossible. My fingers were trembling at the thought of what I was doing, but I pressed on, determined not to let him see how nervous I was. A firm grip on the underside of my jaw caused me to pause.

Javi lifted my face so I could see his. “(Y/N). We don’t have to keep going. We can stop right here if you want.”

I shook my head as much as I could in his hold. “I don’t want to stop. Just nervous is all.”

He nodded. “Take your time, I’m in no rush as long as I’m with you.”

His words caused my smile to grow almost too large for my face. I could tell he meant it, his smile matching mine even through the dark look in his eyes. Even if I couldn’t feel the heat radiating from his body, and the hardness just on the other side of his pants, I would know how turned on he was.

I popped the button on his pants and slowly dragged the zipper down. “Such a good girl,” he cooed above me, keeping me going.

The dusting of hair leading down his pants was soft against the back of my fingers as I revealed more and more skin. Where I thought his underwear should begin was bare, and when I started to pull the fabric down I was met with the thick base of his cock.

I glanced up and his hand reached down and cupped my jaw, his thumb smoothing over my bottom lip and dragging it down until it popped back up. I felt like I was barely breathing as I refocused on the task at hand and pulled his pants the rest of the way down.

His cock was smooth as velvet and heavy in my hand. I heard him inhale sharply as I started to drag my hand slowly toward his tip then back down to the base. I lowered my head until my lips were perched at the slit, and poked my tongue out to catch the bead of precum that had gathered there. He hissed through his teeth as I hummed at the taste of him.

“Fuck, baby, stop teasing,” he grunted, reaching his hand to the back of my head. I waited for him to pull me closer to his length but he never did.

I parted my lips and slid the head of his cock into my mouth further and further until I could feel the weight of him settle on my tongue. The taste of him was heady, and flooded my senses. Salt, skin, warmth, and him.

Before I could continue pushing myself further, his hand came around to my throat and wrapped around firmly. He pressed back and I had no choice but to pull myself off his cock, and continued to follow his grip until he had me pinned on the bed. His hand squeezed once around my neck, enough for me to feel lightheaded for a moment, and then he pulled away.

Javi slowly tugged at his cock, now throbbing and fully hard, while he watched me. My mouth was still agape and my chest rose and fell steadily.

“I’m sorry, hermosa, but I need to fuck you.”

I couldn’t speak, too stunned at the ghost of his grip on my neck. I had never had somebody do that, but the way he had wrapped his hand around my throat caused a steady pulse to erupt between my legs. I wanted his hands back on me, wherever he wanted to put them.

He kicked off his pants and socks, then climbed on the bed next to me. I pushed myself up until I was laying on my back toward the top of my bed, my head on a pillow. Javi watched with his mouth in the shape of an ‘O’, trailing his eyes up my legs, my stomach, my chest, then landing on my face.

He moved so he was on his knees between mine, and brought his fist down to his cock once more. I watched, mesmerized by the sight of the wet head of his cock disappearing in his large fist, as he lazily stroked himself.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded, his voice soft but firm.

I obeyed immediately, bringing my hand down between my legs and circling my clit with my middle finger.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “you look so good. You’re doing so good for me, baby, so good. Fuck.”

“Javi,” I whimpered for him. “I need you. Please, I need you so bad.”

I was absolutely aching for him, electricity lighting up my nerves while he watched me pleasure myself all for him. I gasped at the feeling of his cock sliding between my folds and looked to see him thrusting his hips against me. He held firm onto the base of his cock, directing it to nudge against my entrance before sliding it up to my clit instead, over and over and over.

“Beg,” he said. He didn’t ask, he spoke calmly as if he wasn’t torturing me.

“What?” I asked, unsure that I even heard him right.

“I said,” he slapped his cock against my clit, making my entire body jolt on the bed, “beg.”

I thought about what that meant for him. After years of begging me for something as simple as basic files, and after years of me telling him no, he now had me in the palm of his hand. For a second I thought about saying no, then he slapped his cock down again. Tears sprang to the corners of my eyes at the sensitivity, and I gasped when he pressed himself at my entrance.

“Please,” I whispered, “please, Javi. I need you, I need your cock inside me. Please fuck me.”

He sighed, pulling back. “You’re lucky my patience has run out. Next time you’ll have to do better.”

The thought of ‘next time’ raced through my mind, but that was cut short when he started steadily pushing in. The stretch of him caused my head to fall back into the pillow and a guttural moan was ripped from deep within my chest.

He stilled when he was settled all the way, and I wiggled my hips to feel more of him. He leant down and braced one hand on the bed next to my head, while the other gripped onto my outer thigh.

“Want to be gentle with you,” he said, his words coming out tight. “Want you to feel good.”

“Don’t. Don’t be gentle, please.” I panted underneath him, sweat starting to prickle at my skin. “Want to feel it, I want to feel all of you, Javi. Don’t hold back.”

He pulled out abruptly, and I whined at the loss of him. “I need you on top,” he said, helping me move so he could take my place on the bed. His hands guided me so I was straddling him. “You want to be good for me, right?”

I nodded, feeling my nerves creep up. He could see all of me, and I would be the one in control.

“Then fuck me like a good girl.”

He pulled my hips down into his length, and I threw my head back as he sunk further and further in. Once I was fully seated my entire body shuddered. His lips were parted with his tongue sliding out to wet them as he looked at me like I was his next meal.

“Look at you, baby, mierda,” his voice somehow came out incredibly sweet and syrupy, even though I could feel every ridge of his cock against my walls. “Ride my cock, that’s it, ride me like I’m yours, I’m all yours, baby, all yours.”

The only sound I could make was a squeaky, high pitched moan as my legs burned from bouncing on him. My hands were perched on his chest while his traveled up my body to grasp my tits. He held me firm and I used the opportunity to switch up what I was doing.

“Oh, Javi,” my voice came out lower than expected once I started to grind myself against his pelvis. His name continued to pour from my lips, getting more and more breathy until I was just shaping my lips around the letters.

“That’s it, good girl,” he continued his praise, which made me grind down even harder. “Such a good fucking girl.”

My orgasm approached steadily, less of a punch to the gut as the last one, and my thighs tightened around his torso. I continued to grind myself back and forth, my toes curling, his words and moans spurring me on. I reached up to one of his hands and pulled it off my breast, leading it up to grip around my throat. Finally I gasped out his name as my pleasure pulled me under, squeezing the air out of me until I slumped down over him.

“Oh fuck, such a dirty girl, cumming with my hand around your throat,” he growled.

He barely gave me time to recover, and pulled my upper body closer so he could bend his legs. “Stay still,” he grunted before pounding into me so mercilessly the only thing I could do was hang on to him.

My teeth latched onto his collarbone, and my hands scrambled until they found purchase on his shoulders. He was grunting and gasping while pushing himself in and out of me, my cunt deliciously trying to grip him while I sobbed from oversensitivity.

Javi chanted my name over and over while I continued to bite down on his neck. His hands reached down, one wrapping around my lower body to press me down onto him further, while the other gripped my ass. His body jolted, messing up his rhythm, and he held me even closer to him. I felt so incredibly full as his grip of steel held me firmly in place. His cock pulsed inside me before his hot cum started filling me up.

“Baby,” he whined against my temple, his voice gravelly and torn. “Baby, baby, baby.”

Eventually his body melted, his cock softening inside me. We made no effort to move, and stayed still just breathing together.

“I am never letting you go,” he murmured, his lips still pressed to my hairline above my ear. “You hear me? Never. You’re stuck with me now.”

I chuckled, then gasped when I felt his cock stir. “Sounds good to me.”

He helped me roll over so I was on my side, and he went to find a warm cloth to clean us up. I could feel his cum steadily leaking out of me, but was still a bit sad when he wiped it away. It helped when I saw the way he watched it drip out of me first, almost like he didn’t want it to end either.

We slept in each other's arms that night, and when I awoke to find my face still buried in his chest I couldn’t help but smile. He slowly woke up not long after me, and we laid in bed kissing each other slowly. Our tongues moved lazily together with our soft moans waking us up more and more. He pulled away and I reached for him.

“I can’t, we have to go to work.” He chuckled while gathering his clothes.

I groaned and rolled onto my back so I could watch him. He got dressed while I wished he would do the opposite.

“Can’t we just call in sick?” I mumbled, sleep still thick in my throat.

“Yeah, cause that won’t look suspicious.” He buttoned up his shirt, and started to roll the sleeves up his forearms a bit. “Bad enough I have to walk in there with the same clothes as yesterday.”

I smirked, and got up to get dressed. My smirk turned into a full blown smile, and it didn’t leave when we got into his car together, or when we walked into the office side by side with his hand on my lower back, and not when I sat at my desk.

And it certainly didn’t leave as I watched him continue on into his office with the top three buttons of his shirt still undone, showing off the purpling bruise on his collarbone.

[khunyuki]

"I've lived my life with blade and you always in my mind"

ʀᴇqᴜᴇꜱᴛ: 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚕𝚢?

Synopsis: Kafka was so used to calling Kagami as Platoon Leader Hoshina that he was confused when she ran away after mentioning that in front of his Vice Captain. Part 2 of this post.

Pairing/s: Hoshina Soshiro x Fiancee!OC

Note/s: I was undecided if I should choose detailed or not but for now i'm writing it in the way I knew how to write. Shorter but better i guess hahahah

Warning/s: Minors below 18+ is NOT ALLOWED

Genre: NSFW

Masterlist: TOC

↓↓↓ PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AS THIS CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT ↓↓↓

"My wife, why are you hiding here all by yourself?"

As if her body took a screenshot, Kagami was so startled by the sudden voice whispering in her ears that she jumped and lost her balance only to bump into the person she's hiding from.

"S-Soshiro! H-how did you get here?! Since when??"

Kagami wanted to run away but the sheer strength of his grip overpowers her easily. She didn't know how he got behind her undetected or how he found her but she knew... She's already screwed...

"I-i'm not hiding I swear! I just have work to do!"

Kagami made an excuse with whatever comes to her mind first. Her brain already in a mush despite him not doing anything and just holding her in his arms. Her face turning red by the second as she remember her crimes.

"Is that so~ I wonder what kind of work does Platoon Leader Hoshina have to do in the storage room?"

Hoshina Soshiro licked his lips as his fiancee gulped at having been caught. He lifted her body to sit her down on the empty table, then pressing close enough between her legs to meet her private parts with his own. Her legs unconsciously wrapping around his hips and her arms on his neck.

"That's... Ummm... Well..."

Kagami couldn't move nor could she think. Especially when he was grinding his hips in a sensual way, making her aroused while he's just looking at her with his usual foxy face like he isn't doing anything to her at all.

"Tell me... Do you really want to take my last name that badly, my dear wife?"

Soshiro took his left hand from her hips to the base of her cheeks and jaw, cupping and supporting it. His thumb rubbing her plump lips, playing with it. He urged her to open her mouth and made her suck on it. He couldn't help but bit his own lips in delight as she easily gave him access to her mouth, her tongue playing with it as she sucked it like a baby. He could feel her sanity leaving out of her body as he removed his hand away from her face.

"Yes. I do"

As if possessed, Kagami gave her answer as if she's out of breath. Staring at him with those bedroom eyes full of need, she pulled him down so their lips could meet with each other.

.

.

.

.

↓↓↓ PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AS THIS CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT ↓↓↓

↓↓↓ PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AS THIS CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT ↓↓↓

.

.

.

.

Soshiro ripped her tights and moved her panties aside, pushing her uniform's skirt upwards. He inserted his digits on her needy cunt while he kissed her hungrily, drowning out the moans she's letting out.

"Be quiet. You wouldn't want anyone to hear you, right?"

He whispered in her ear while pumping in and out of her. His free right hand brushing her hair back, moving her braids to the back. She placed her hands on her mouth in an attempt to drown out her moans.

"Remove your buttons but don't take your clothes off"

She did as she was told, undoing the buttons of her uniform clumsily. The standard formal uniform for women is made like a dress with a belt so despite what she's doing, the uniform still clings to her with only her chest exposed. He licked his lips at the show.

"That's right. Good girl"

He removed his right hand from her head to slipped it inside her bra. Cupping her left breast and squeezing it in the confines of restrictive clothing. He pushed it upwards while he played with her erect nipples and bit her neck.

"Soshi--"

His actions left her breathless that she almost forgot to keep quiet. Just the mere thought of doing such vulgar act at work made her wet and tight, even more so if someone hears her loud noises during it.

"Shhhh~"

The soft shushing he let out brought shivers down her spine, making her bite her bottom lip in ecstasy. Never in her life did she thought of something like this happening to her yet it gives her with so much delight because she's doing it with her lover.

She was close, so so close with the way her pussy became even tighter and how her silent moans became more erratic. Then he stopped all of his work, removing his fingers from her cunt and breast making her feel so empty and whine as he interrupted her high.

"Tell me what do you want me to do?"

He knew just how much she wants him but he can't let her get what she wants so easily. Even if she stares at him with those eyes, begging him to make her cum and put it inside.

"I-"

She knew he was teasing her with that twisted smile on his face. He wants her to beg him but she's too embarrassed to do so. She couldn't even close her legs and squirm as he's standing in between them.

"What does my dearest wife want me to do?"

He asked her as he removed his own member from its own confines, stroking it with his hands then slapping it against her pussy. She tried so hard to contain her moans but the way he rubs it upside down her folds, pressing on her hole yet not entering it fully, she was going crazy.

"Please! Put it in plea-Ahhh"

She begged him in a whisper shout as she couldn't handle it any longer. He didn't even let her finish before he pushed himself all the way inside producing a smack of their skins meeting each other. He was pounding on her so roughly and fast, she couldn't even produce a sound as her mouth hangs open.

"Who am I?"

He asked her, not once stopping his fast pace. His hands now on her bottom bringing her closer to him as their hips met.

"Soshiro~"

She could only call his name in response at the pure ecstasy she's feeling.

"Not that, the other one"

This confused Kagami as she suddenly looked at him for clarification. Only the smile on his face was his answer. Then she thought back to what he keeps on calling her the entire time, not that she could thinking properly with him rearranging her guts at the moment.

"H-husband?"

She guessed having recalled him calling her wife over and over again, and how she got into this situation in the first place.

"That's right"

His pace became even rougher, constantly hitting her g-spot as reward for her correct answer.

"My husband~"

"My wife~"

They called out to each other with their newfound endearments feeling even more vigorous as they feel their climaxes coming. He could feel his member getting harder at her every mention.

"I'm the only one who can make you and see you like this hmm"

"Yes! You're the only one!"

They momentarily forgot to be silent as they released at the same time. As always, he rode her still releasing all of his semen inside her womb then finally removes it with a satisfying pop. They pant heavily at the sudden workout as they he held her in his arms.

"How about a second round?"

He gave her an expecting grin before he got slapped on the shoulder.

"We're still at work..."

Not as exhausted as before, the fog on her mind instantly cleared as soon as she came, remembering where they are.

"Hmmm... What a shame. I wanted to show you more how this husband of yours will treat you"

He helped her stand up, fixing her bra and buttoning her uniform. He purposely didn't wipe up their juices but instead pushed something inside instead, earning a gasp from her. The liquid dripping on her ruined panties was forcefully pushed back by an object.

"What did you do??"

Confused, Kagami wanted to know what he did. Sure she trusts him but this was the first time he's done something weird to her like this.

"You can't remove it"

She could feel that thing vibrating inside making her really uncomfortable. She's also so full yet this object was shaking on her insides. She once again looked at his face to ask if he's sure about this but was only greeted by a smirk.

"If you make it until you get home then I'll give you a reward"

<- Table of Contents

[universe-friday]

EXCERPT #40:

Hello. I hope somebody is listening.

[...]

Might be surprising to you, old sport, that I indeed can still lose my sanity in the City. Even after being here for so long, I feel myself slipping further away from who I once was more and more, day by day.

I’ve been feeling deflated since losing Thalia. Almost sounds like she’s dead… God, I hope she’s not dead.

She was truly my one good asset in this City. Who am I kidding? She was everything more than just an asset to me. Not my contact, not my sidekick, not my friend. She was my person… And now, she’s gone, and I have to understand that eventually… Right…? When will that finally compute in my head, old sport?

[…]

Searching for contacts is no use here any more. I cut off so many of my contacts because I had K… And then after K, I had Thalia. I taught her everything I knew, and she did the same for me. I can do so much for myself but there are still things… Just small things that only she had the power to do.

Her brain was… Is such a beautiful concept to comprehend. Hell- You heard the lights, the- the way she managed to get messages to me even when she didn’t have all of her equipment with her.

Who… Who else could be like her…? How am I supposed to replace that… All that we had, I must trade it all away so that I could have someone to fill in for her brain. So I can still have all of the information she gave me on the City. On the agency… Is there anyone like her?

[…]

I haven’t been outside in a while. I haven’t been able to go back to my old setup. I’ve just been here, staring, at this light with Thalia’s final message. It’s beginning to taunt me, beginning to shout at me, reminding me over and over that she will be okay and to just leave it be.

But I’m stuck. My feet are glued to this floor, unless God forbid another cyborg walks down these halls.

I can’t do it all for myself. I can’t continue to do K’s night patrolling and attempt to add Thalia’s coding and engineering skills on top of that.

It’s never easy to find a second in the City, old sport.

I can’t put up posters, hand out fliers… I can’t preach on the City’s streets about all I wish to preach about. If the government doesn’t catch me fast enough, the agency will.

And damn it, I can’t stay in hiding anymore. I have to go back. I can’t stand being here anymore.

Thalia, darling, if you’re listening.

I will be okay.

[...]

this excerpt of universe friday is heavily inspired by @eclipseisruminating's original excerpt they wrote based on my own, set after the previous excerpt!

this was really awesome to have someone write an excerpt just like mine and i loved it so much i decided to adapt it into my own for no. 40!

you can check out the original excerpt they wrote here!

[butmakeitgayblog]

How is my favorite ball of floof, Sal?

I was just writing him today while waiting in the doctor's office ��� he's good, he's good. Living his best life. Meeting one of his soon to be bestest friends ever

//////////////

The door swung up open before she could even finish her third knock. 

Clarke felt all the air escape right out of her lungs.

Because framed in the picturesque doorway was - possibly, potentially, easily debatable once her brain would start working again - one of the most beautiful women Clarke had ever seen in her thirty nine years of life. 

Just… not the one she'd expected. 

“Can I help you?”

Clarke blinked back at the rounded, deep amber eyes that stared at her in gentle questioning. Blinked at the sight of a messy curled bob of black hair that fell carelessly across the elegant line of petite shoulders. Dark brown skin looked almost velvety in the shadowed threshold between inside and out, and Clarke physically swayed foward on her toes just to catch a stronger whiff of her floral perfume. 

Mentally rolling her tongue back up into her skull, Clarke recovered enough to lean a sharp hook at the waist toward the left, just far enough to take another glance at the house number tacked on the side. 

‘Hm… Yep, I can still read…’

“I uh...” Clarke managed to right herself and actually stammer out loud when whatever celestial being she was gawking at only continued to look at her with serene patience, “Does, uh… Does Lexa live here?”

“Yes?”

Clarke frowned when nothing else came. “O-kay… Is she… Is she here right now?”

“Well I certainly hope so. Otherwise I'm breaking and entering.” White teeth shined in a perfectly aligned row when this riddle-baring goddess's lips bent into a teasing smile. But rather than feeling like the punchline of some joke she was being left out of, the effect of this sweet angel faced woman's charm only made Clarke smile in return. 

Before she could reconfigure the slog of words bumping around in her brain, a clatter of lazy tip-tap tip-taps grew loud enough to jerk Clarke's attention toward a rather large and decidedly hairy nose wedging its way into the exchange. A nose became a muzzle, became a panting white, black, and brown face. One with droopy eyes and even droopier jowls that nudged the door-guardian out of its way.

“Dude, c'mon.” Those ridiculously white teeth flashed in another soul brightening smile as the woman pushed herself away from where she'd been hip-checked into the door, and gave the beast-sized brute of a Saint Bernard a few scratches on the head. “Manners, my guy. What would your mother say about this kind of violence?”

Doleful eyes slid shut in a look of ecstasy at the rake of fingernails through his coat of cowlick laden fur.

A distant echo of muddled footsteps had the beautiful stranger turning, craning around to look behind her into the shadows of the house, which seemed entirely like an open invitation for Clarke to lift up on her toes and chance a peek into the darkeness beyond as well. Nothing gave itself away even as the padding of steps drew closer. Clarke rocked back onto the flat of her feet just before the door widened enough for another face to fit into the bizarre tableau, though it was the one single face that helped Clarke stop feeling like she needed to have an evaluation done of her own sanity. 

“What is the hold up out here— Clarke,” Lexa breathed as a smile lit up her blessedly familiar face. Glasses propped on top of her head and normal school attire button down exchanged for a tight knit Henley, the sudden vision of this entirely different version of Lexa added itself to Clarke's mental catalog of the woman. Lexa slipped past the mountain of a dog, giving it an absent command of ‘Back it up, big man,’ along with a snap and a point at the floor beside her that seemed sufficient enough to have him reversing several feet out of her way. She elbowed past the woman in the doorway to beckon Clarke inward with a wave of her hand. “Sorry, I didn't know it was you. Come in. You're early.”

“Uh, yeah. I hope that's not a problem.” Clarke floundered as she stepped in at the urging, eyes darting between Lexa and the dog who'd sat itself in a flop of limbs at her side, and the stranger now silently watching it all. 

“Not even a little.” The easy cadence of Lexa's words only helped to ease a fraction of Clarke's nerves. “You just said you couldn't make it for another couple hours.” 

Clarke tugged upward at the collar of her sweater that suddenly felt a touch too revealing. “I dropped Madi off with her dad a little early. Much to her numerous complaints.”

The soft tilt of Lexa's lips dipped into a frown. “Everything okay?”

“Of course. Just, getting her to understand that I actually had plans was met with great disdain. It's a theme we've developed, she and I. Ever since she's gotten her license, she doesn't seem to understand the concept that my car is not somehow now her car.”

Lexa's face relaxed into a kind of relieved understanding. “Ah, I see. A driving teenager. I don't envy you.”

“We're braver than the marines,” Clarke said amidst a roll of her eyes. 

In the quiet and fondness of Lexa's smile, Clarke let herself uncoil another fraction of an inch. She returned the soft sweetness of that green-eyed gaze with a herculean effort to not be the first to reach out. She'd pictured this moment more than a few times on the drive over - a few hundred more the previous evening, if she were being honest - but where'd she'd fantasized about just grabbing the woman and kissing her very pretty face off, possibly backing her into a hazy and ill-defined wall to have her way with her the second she would walk in, Clarke found herself rather perplexingly stuck to the spot. Unmoving in the relief of being in Lexa's space again. Unrushed and content to keep sharing smiles like a couple of idiots.

It was only an inelegant ruffle of fur and flapping jowls that broke the moment, followed immediately by a rather wet sounding sneeze prompting Clarke to finally drag her gaze away.

“You have a dog.”

Lexa glanced down at the mountain of black and tan fur at her side and back up. “I told you that I have a dog.”

“Uh, no,” Clarke laughed at that wild understatement and gestured to the device in her hand as though proof enough. “You text me an hour ago, ‘You're not allergic to dogs, right?’ And when I said no, you marked it with a thumbs up.”

Lexa seemed to pause in thought as her teeth worried at the plumped corner of her bottom lip. “... I did do that.”

“You did.”

“Okay, I think I might see where the breakdown in communication happened.”

“Solid work, Professor,” said a voice that drifted from over Lexa's shoulder.

“Your input isn't appreciated,” Lexa said to the startlingly still present but unidentified goddess hovering near the door. Forcing down a rather painful looking swallow as she nudged the glasses more securely up the slope of her nose, Lexa buried the obvious lede in the room and instead gestured to the hulking pile of dog sitting patiently where Lexa had left him. “Right, so I suppose introductions are in order then. Sal. This is Clarke. Clarke, this is my dog Sal. Sal, say hello.”

As if on cue, a giant paw went up in a clumsy mimic of a wave.

Clarke let out a surprised chuckle at the display, waving back on instinct before realizing that she was, in fact, waving at a dog. She let her hand drop. Idiot. “Hey, Sal. He's a… big guy, huh?”

“I'm convinced he's part moose,” Lexa sighed with an affectionate ruffle of Sal's ear. “In my defense, he was not this imposing when I got him.”

////////////

[gizmocrate-werecrow]

What to do when you are a leafling: my annoying friend.

(Ah the dilemma of wanting to Write more olimin chapters and wanting to write corps chapters.)

Dingo watched as the S.S. Beagle flew away alongside the onion. Pom offered him to come along with her but it just wasn't his thing. Dingo could feel a smile crawl onto his face as he walked away. 

DANDORI DANDORI DANDORI! WE SHALL ALWAYS DANDORI AND–

“SHUT UP!” Dingo screamed, everyone, even Shepherd, looked at him in shock. Dingo cringed to himself and could feel the thoughts subsiding once more. He silently prepared himself as Erma walked up to him. Dingo started to run. He climbed onto a rock and started to cry.

He could feel the thoughts coming back to him in a blast. Nothing but Dandori, he had to organize and save time, he had to…

“Hey? Are you okay Dingo?”

Dingo looked around and picked up Jack.

“N-no. I made a fool of myself. How come i seem to be the only one to resist the…well…the thoughts”

“The Connection meant to be like your comms man. We talk to each other and relay messages. So we can cooperate and survive. It's meant to keep us alive.” Jack chirruped. They held the toothpick with happy noises and did a few stabbing motions.

“Wait a moment, does that mean the Dandori thing isn't normal?”

“Dandori thoughts is a normal thing but at this strength. Does this mean someone is messing with it?” Jack said and tilted their head in curiosity. 

Dingo let out a long sigh. The thoughts slipped into his mind again. Begging him to simply do Dandori, find a cave, find a bunch of Pikmin and be a Dandori practitioner. Maybe he should give up…yeah that sounded great to do…Dandori…he should Dandori all the time.

“Dingo? If you’ve got any problems, let me know.” a voice said. Dingo could feel himself blush again, it was Erma again, what should he say? He looked up to see Erma’s lovely blue eyes. He could feel the Dandori thoughts slip away as he looked at her.

“I’ll let you kn-kn-know.” Dingo managed to stammer out before he felt faint, no he should keep himself awake. No screw it! He needed to tell her, he needed to tell her everything!

“You want to know what happened to me. I’ll tell you, it all started when Bernard and I crashed in a place with giant pink flowered trees.” 

–

Bernard wandered around the camp in a daze. The thoughts in his head he knew weren't his. But no matter how hard he tried, it seemed he couldn't reel them into his own sanity. Dandori is fun and the most efficient way to live life. If others were like him then maybe he would have not crashed. He never crashed in his life until now. 

“Santi…friend…why don't we…when the ONION lands…you get someone…and let them embrace DANDORI!” Bernard declared.

“Why–” Santi started

“Because if we make them embrace DANDORI…we can save everyone…if I did DANDORI earlier…the ship…wouldn't crash.”

Santi raised an eyebrow, as annoying as Bernard was, this was completely not his thing. 35 years of dealing with, avoiding and getting annoyed by Bernard has made him familiar with the positive ace pilot. 

“Bernard, are you okay?” Santi said with a hint of hesitation in his voice while light chittering began to echo in his head.

“I'm fine SANTI, I crashed the ship...I…” Bernard started, he hugged Santi tightly. Soft sobs began to sound from the pilot. Santi quietly dragged Bernard away from the general area around the base and to the rock. Oleander was sitting there and kicking their legs while Santi sat Bernard down. 

“Who is that?” Oleander said, coughing a bit of poison out.

“My rival…It’s okay…You can talk to me…Like you always do.” 

“Can you play your flute…for me?” Bernard weakly asked. He looked up with a smile as Santi took the frost covered flute out of his pack. Santi took a deep breath and began to play. Soft music danced around the air, bewitching the ears of those nearby. The thoughts in his head seemed to slip back into only his own. The soft whisperings of Dandori now seemed like a bad dream rather than a horrible reality. Bernard looked up with some sense of a smile on his face. 

“That…feels a bit better….I don't know what came over me.”

“No worries Bernard we’re…ack…Best friends after all.” Santi said with a pained smile that had a hint of warmth to it.

(my idea is that even though Santi finds Bernard annoying due to the whole fate thing. He still cares for Bernard…a little. While Bernard sees him as a genuine friend.)

[the-mxster]

Incorrect Tensimm + Donna quotes (pt2)

Pt 1

Donna: The Doctor doesn’t deserve you.

Donna: If they don't treat you right by now, you're gone.

Master: I'm gone.

Donna: Now go chop their dick off.

Master: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Donna:

Donna: I'm gonna tell them.

Doctor: Don't you dare.

Master: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Doctor’*

Donna: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Donna: *is wearing silk pants* How does this look?

Master: Like its slips on and off really easily.

Donna:

Master: No, I didn't mean it like that-

Doctor: We know what you meant.

Master: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.

Doctor: What club?

Donna: The ‘hating’ Doctor club.

Doctor: …The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!

Master: *sucking on a popsicle*

Donna: Pfft, you practicing for when the Doctor gets here?

Master: *takes a huge ass bite out of the popsicle*

Donna: *Concern*

Master, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Donna: Doctor's in the kitchen.

Master: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.

Donna: So you're just gonna wait until the Doctor is in danger and save them?

Master: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them.

Donna: ...

Donna: You're insane.

Master: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Donna: What’s up your ass this morning?

Doctor: *walks in* ...Hey.

Donna: Hmm… nevermind.

Master: WAIT NO!

Doctor, to Master: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!

Master: *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*

Donna, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call the Master cute or small.

Donna, rushing into the room: It’s terrible, just terrible! I am so upset!

Doctor: Donna, honey, sit down! Sweetheart, tell us all about it. Master, would you get Donna some water?

Master: What are they gonna do with water? Has water ever made you feel better when you were upset? Have you ever heard anyone say, “Thank God, the water’s here!”?

*Donna sneezes*

Doctor: Donna, are you sick? Here, let me wrap you in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup while singing you a lullaby!

*Master sneezes*

Doctor: Oh my god. Shut the hell up.

Doctor: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.

Donna: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.

Doctor: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

Master: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

Donna: Master, I am questioning your sanity...

Doctor: I never questioned it, I knew their sanity was missing from the start.

Donna: I dare you-

Doctor: Master is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Donna: Why not?

Master: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Doctor: Breathe, just breathe.

Master: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Donna:: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Donna: What are you writing?

Master: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.

Doctor, looking over Master's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

Master: I'm not that stupid!

Doctor: Master, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Master: DONNA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Doctor: Did the Master just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Donna: Yeah, they did.

Doctor: And did I just do finger guns back?

Donna: Yeah, you did.

Doctor: Regular soda is too sweet!

Master: Diet soda has a weird after taste!

Doctor: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY!

Master: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda!

Doctor: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink!

Master: I'm going to physically attack you.

Doctor: Which is better, Donna?

Donna: Oh, I usually drink water!

Master: Wha- NO!

Doctor: DISGUSTING!

Donna: The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Master: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Doctor: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!

Donna: Doctor-

Doctor: *sighs* Master used to call me Doctor...

Donna: ...Because it's your fucking name.

Master: Donna is mad at me, and I'm not sure why.

Doctor : Okay, did you talk before they got upset?

Master: ...yes?

Doctor : That's probably it.

Donna: Why would you do that?

Doctor : Because I feel guilty.

Master: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

Doctor : The Master noticed only today that they can label their email inboxes, but they took apart their entire bloody laptop two weeks ago.

Donna: This reminds me of the The Master who couldn’t turn on the coffee maker, but remembers about 500 digits of pi.

Doctor : I’ll be delighted to inform you that this is the very same Master.

Donna: Master! What did I tell you about lying?

Master, looking down: ...That it only works on the Doctor.

Donna: Wow! The Doctor made you cry?

Master, tearing up: Yes, and they said some really mean things that are only partly true.

Doctor : Guys, the Master is missing.

Donna: Good.

Doctor , trying to impress Donna: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Master: They turned it off and back on again.

Pt 3

[shyvioletcat]

2. Do you read/reread your own fics?

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

2: For my own sanity I try to keep for plot purposes only, but if someone reblogs something I haven’t seen in a while I usually read over it. Then just about die at all the writing errors.

19: I think you’ll easily be able to guess this one:

Rowan tried to keep his hand steady even as the little girl in front of him was determined not to stay still. Ivy had begged him to do face painting at her party, and of course he was going to say yes. He had spent the last month practicing on paper, his daughter and even his friends when they let him. Rowan had been good to start with, and now he was considering making it a weekend job. Not really, being a deputy principal during the week and being a full time dad was more than enough work for him. But at least it was therapeutic.

“Hold still for just one more second,” Rowan told the brown haired girl sitting in front of him. She huffed, but listened, the lure of a unicorn horn and ears overriding the need to see what was going on. Adding a few last details on the horn to really give it some sparkle and then he was done. “There.”

Rowan didn’t need to say more than that and the girl was off. He wiped his hands on an old tea towel and was about to refill some of the snack bowls when his mother approached him looking like she was holding in a secret.

She sidled up close, beckoning him a little closer so Rowan had to lean in then whispered. “Your mermaid is here.”

29: Okay, so I’ve mentioned this scene before but here it is in real life. This is how the big pivotal blow up in It Takes Two was meant to go down:

“You’re scared of the way I make you feel because you don’t want to feel anything at all”

Aelin spat the words at Rowan, each once laced with disappointment and anger. She had thought… she had thought that maybe they were something more. But it seemed Rowan would rather continue his bleak existence than be with her.

Rowan’s back was tight as he gripped the back of the armchair, tense like he was holding back from something.

“Just admit it Rowan. Admit it so we can finally be honest with each other.”

Rowan turned, the look on his face had Aelin rooted to the spot. She couldn’t read it but the intensity of it kept her gaze locked with his. Then he was in front of her and before she could ask him what he was doing or hurl another insult at him his lips were on hers, both his hands cradling her face. Aelin stood there frozen in shock for half a moment before her hand wrapped around his neck kissing him back. When she felt his tongue run along her bottom lip she gasped. Rowan took the opportunity to slip his tongue against hers and Aelin was ready to combust.

This was the first time they had kissed since that fateful night and it reminded Aelin just why she had been so willing to tumble into his bed even though she had hated him in that moment. Kissing Rowan was unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Rowan’s lips became gentle, the kiss changing from that urgent burning intensity to something soft and gentle. When he finally pulled away there was still that unreadable expression on his face but Aelin could at least now read the sadness in his eyes.

“Rowan…” Aelin’s voice was hoarse, evidence of how thoroughly he had wrecked her.

He spoke, his voice hollow. “It wasn’t supposed to be you.” Rowan stepped back from her, his face was so hard when he looked at her again, cold and hard and unyielding. Then he said the words again, “It wasn’t supposed to be you.”

Then he was out the door, leaving Aelin standing there spiralling and falling, to where she didn’t know.

Thanks for asking 💜

[3pirouette]

Fic: The Prices We're Willing to Pay (3/?)

Title: The Prices We’re Willing to Pay

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :) 

Story Summary: Inspired by Multiverse of Madness. What if it had all gone differently?

Chapter 3: The Avengers

Summary: Peggy and Steve get recalled to save the universe. 

A/N: And if the last chapter proved I could do this, this is the chapter/movie that reminded me this is going to be HARD AS HELL. In order to maintain my own sanity, I will not be re-writing the entire movie, which gives you, the reader, a lot of wiggle room to decide how you think things went. I’m only going to work on what I feel is interesting and important to the story I’m telling. If I don’t talk about it, you can assume it happens similarly to the movie. Just insert your favorite Peggy headcanon. 

For Steggy Week 2k23 Day 6: Multiverse/What If...?

~*~

Peggy was sitting at the kitchen table, steaming mug between her hands when he walked through the door, tossing his gym bag to the side. “Why are you up?” he asked gently, even though he couldn’t see her; the light from the kitchen radiating through the apartment was enough clue.

“Same as you, I suppose,” she muttered, sipping at her mug, waiting for him to join her. 

He leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, crossing his arms over his chest, serious as his gaze fell on her. “What was it?”

“Same as always,” she replied, shutting her eyes and shaking her head at the ghostly image of Red Skull hovering over her that she couldn’t get out of her memory no matter if she was asleep or awake. “You?”

His head fell to his chest, eyes closed. “Bucky.” 

Peggy pushed away from the table, taking the few steps between them slowly and pressing her forehead to his. “I suppose we slept for seventy years. What’s a few sleepless nights?”

He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight in the dim kitchen, the quiet solitude of the night wrapping around them. 

She slipped her arms around his waist, falling deeper into his embrace, content. The clothes of the future were so soft, so thin, she thought she could feel every plane of his body through them, and she didn’t much mind it. They still hadn’t fully figured out how to navigate exactly what they were here in the future where ranks no longer mattered and powerful women were considered somewhat normal, where a relationship wouldn’t be frowned upon when they’d been prepared to fight the rest of their lives side by side, hiding what they felt for one another except for furtive glances and desperate moments alone. 

“We have to talk,” he murmured against her hair. “Fury found me.”

She huffed through her nose, laying her head on his shoulder. “Smoke and mirrors, he is. He knows very well where we live if he’d wanted to have a chat.”

“Seems to be a little more urgent than that.” Steve pulled back, looking unsure and reticent. “I don’t know what we should do.”

Peggy sighed, moving to turn on the coffee machine for Steve as she pushed her shoulders back. “You and I both know that we really don’t have a choice, do we?” She focused on her task of pulling out the coffee and the filters and setting up the machine that she was just starting to get familiar with. “Waking us up was an investment. They’ll want a return on that. I would.” 

Steve sat heavily at the table. “I think he might let one of us out, if we could convince him.”

She leaned against the counter, rolling his empty mug between her hands while the coffee maker began to steam to life. “Perhaps.” She shrugged, setting the mug in front of him. “That is, if he even wants me.” She sighed, sitting back in front of her own mug and wrapping her hands around it. “Lady Britain is little more than a biscuit brand now.”

She wasn’t sure why it stung so much- she’d always hated the moniker, but seeing that in the future the adventures of Captain America garnered radio plays and trading cards and museum halls and Lady Britain had been nearly lost to history, despite being at his side for every mission, brought back familiar feelings of helplessness and frustration. 

“They are some pretty tasty cookies, you have to admit,” Steve tossed out as he leaned back, smiling at her as he waited for the coffee to finish brewing. 

She chuckled, smiling despite herself. She took a slow sip of her tea. “Far better than K rations.”

“I want you,” he whispered after a quiet moment. “Even if Fury doesn’t, you know I don’t trust anyone else with my back.”

“Neither do I.” She reached out, taking his hand in hers. “But we may not have that choice.” 

~*~

Peggy moved around the small lab, the energy of Doctor Banner behind her making her anxious. 

“Aren’t you afraid of me?” Banner asked from his workbench across the room, not even pausing in his typing. 

“Should I be?” Peggy replied quickly, looking up from the data pad Romanoff had given her with the information they had on the mission. 

Banner glanced at her, but resumed his typing. “Most people are.”

Peggy set down the pad and leaned on her elbows, scrolling through the files. “I’m not most people.”

He chuckled defensively. “No, no I suspect you’re not.” He stopped finally and pulled off his glasses. “What happened to you and Captain Rogers should have killed you.”

She smiled gently, looking up from the live feed of Germany where the Quinjet was just arriving. “Same could be said of yourself, couldn’t it?” 

Banner smiled, genuinely this time, and turned back to his work. “If you would be amenable, I’d have some questions for you after this is over. I mean, there’s quite a bit of information on Captain Rogers but almost none on you.”

“Mostly by design, I assure you,” Peggy replied a little shortly, face hardening. 

Banner’s tone shifted as he turned, contrite and aware he’d hit a nerve. “I’m sorry. That was…” He took a gentle breath. “I’m always looking for ways to… to fix me, ya know?” He shook his head, suddenly so small and anxious again, even though he’d just started to look at home in his lab without anyone else there to bother them. “I shouldn’t have asked, I’m sorry.”

“I’m happy to help,” Peggy whispered, softening as she moved over to show him the camera feed on the pad. “Physically there’s very little difference between myself and Captain Rogers, but I’ll help if I can.”

“Must kinda suck,” he nearly smiled, trying to recapture some of the light banter they’d had, “to wake up and find out you’d been forgotten about.”

“I was a spy long before I was Lady Britain,” Peggy started, smiling softly. “A spy desperately hopes they’ll never be known.” She shrugged, turning her attention to the screen. “It does sting a bit, but there have been far more things that have been harder to deal with.”

“Well, I’m happy to listen.” He shrugged, looking as Loki came out of the museum. “I know what it’s like when you don’t have anyone to listen.”

Peggy looked at him, watching his face turn serious as he watched the feed from Germany. “Same goes for you,” she replied quietly. 

Banner’s smile was brief, melting as focused on the feed. They watched with bated breath as Steve, then Tony, fought Loki, until the man gave up. 

“Seemed….”

“Easy,” Peggy finished, sharing his skepticism. She pulled the pad back and sat at the table. “We should keep looking,” she muttered. 

“Haven’t stopped.” He looked over the results for a few minutes before looking back at her. “So… you two…”

Peggy looked up, uncomfortable. “Us?”

He stuttered, once again uncomfortable. “You’re… well, I guess I’m asking…”

“There wasn’t time for that during the war,” she muttered, focusing on the reports populating before her eyes as the Quinjet made its way back to them. “There wasn’t time for dating or marriage or promises of tomorrow when none of us were sure there was going to be a tomorrow.” Peggy looked up to see Banner nodding at his computer, fingers tapping over the keys but not really typing anything in. She set the pad down and turned to him. “It was always just… eventually. And then we woke up and here we are and neither of us want to be the other’s only option, but…” She tried to smile when he looked up. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with. Not for anything. Never has been.” 

Bruce smiled gently at her. “I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just... you two seem like you’re already married or something.”

“Might as well be.” Peggy stood, moving around the small lab. “We’re figuring it out.” She stopped, looking at the data flying across one of his screens, not knowing anything about what it meant. “What about you?”

He laughed and set his glasses on his nose, typing frantically. “No, uh, there’s not… I don’t…”

Peggy looked up at him, remembering so many lonely nights as she traveled as Howard’s secretary, as she’d been a spy in the SOE and SSR, and felt her heart break a little. “Alone isn’t easy.”

“No,” he muttered, eyes on the data, “but sometimes it’s safer.”

Peggy took a deep breath and smiled. “I’ve been told I’m quite hard to kill, if that makes any difference.” Her voice grew quiet, “and I quite miss having friends.”

Bruce looked up, mouth open, ready to answer, when the data pad beeped and Natasha’s voice came in over the coms. They both moved over to it to hear that Thor had shown up. He didn’t look at her, but tipped his head as he stood next to her. “After all this is over, it might be nice to have a friend, too.” 

~*~

Steve moved in, frustrated, with Peggy right behind him. “Is everything a joke to you?”

“Funny things are,” Tony replied, looking them up and down. 

“Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny.” Steve turned to Banner, only slightly apologetic. “No offense, doctor.”

“No, it's alright.” Banner smiled, amused. “I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things.” 

Tony circled the room, talking to Banner and avoiding them both. “You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut.”

Peggy could see them starting to amp up for a battle of wills, but wasn’t ready to step in quite yet, despite how frustrated Steve was as he spoke. “And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark.”

Tony rounded the tables, unable to stand still. “You think I'm not? Why did Fury call us  and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables.”

“You think Fury’s hiding something?” Peggy finally chimed in, curious. 

“He's a spy.” He looked her up and down, leaning on the table. “He's the spy. His secrets have secrets.” Tony stopped and pointed to Banner. “It's bugging him too, isn't it?”

Bruce hemmed and hawed, avoiding eye contact. “Uh...I just wanna finish my work here and...”

Peggy spoke up, surprised she agreed. “Stark’s not wrong.” Steve looked at her, confused, but she raised her eyebrows and gave a slight shrug in her defense. “I had more secrets than I could keep track of some days. Doctor Banner, what are your thoughts?” Peggy encouraged.

“'A warm light for all mankind,’ Loki's jab at Fury about the cube.” He fidgeted, but turned to them, more sure of himself. 

Steve nodded, still unconvinced. “I heard it.”

Bruce pointed at Tony, his hesitant stammer gone. “Well, I think that was meant for you. Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news.” 

“The Stark Tower? That big ugly—” Steve stammered, Tony’s stare enough to remind him of his manners, “...building in New York?” 

Bruce picked up the thread as if Steve hadn’t spoken. “It's powered by Stark Reactors, self- sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?” 

He couldn’t help but preen a little as he responded. “That's just the prototype. I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now.” 

Banner turned to Peggy, hoping she’d understand. “So, why didn't SHIELD bring him in on the Tesseract project? I mean, what are they doing in the energy business in the first place?” 

“Even better question,” Peggy started, “is why Tony hasn’t been involved with SHIELD from the start.” Peggy looked around, jaw set. “Howard, no doubt, knew what you were capable of from a young age.” Her tone grew grim. “What was he protecting you from?”

“My father? Protect me? Ha!” His sardonic bark of a laugh only barely hid the dark truth of their relationship from those around him. “I should probably look into that once my decryption programmer finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files.”

If Steve was surprised before, this surprised him even more. “I'm sorry, did you say...?”

“Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide.” He smiled insufferably for the seriousness of the conversation, holding out a bag of blueberries. “Blueberry?”

Steve shook his head, walking away with his hands on his hips, trying to calm himself before he turned back to Tony. “ Yet you're confused about why they  didn't want you around?”

He shrugged, popping a blueberry in his mouth. “An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not possible.”

Steve kept pacing, laying out his own thoughts as much as he could gather them. “I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war,  and if we don't stay focused, he'll           succeed. We have orders, we should follow them.”

Tony stepped closer to Steve, shaking his head. “Following is not really my style.”

Steve smiled sarcastically, tired of fighting to keep his composure as Tony egged him on. “And you're all about style, aren't you?”

Tony closed the distance between them, his frustration bubbling over. “Of the people in this room, which one is; A. wearing a spangly outfit, and B. not of use?”

“That’s out of line,” Peggy called sharply, stepping between them. “Both of you are out of line.” She looked between the two of them like they were small children she was scolding. “Fury or Loki or both doesn't matter if we’re fighting amongst ourselves.”

Bruce sighed, stepping in to try to keep the calm. “Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?”

They all stood there, silent, for a long moment before Steve shook his head. “Just find the cube.”

His steps were heavy as he turned and left. Peggy followed, eyes sharp on Tony before running to catch up with Steve as he headed to the hull. 

~*~

Peggy pursed her lips, looking over a box’s listed inventory. “He’s Howard’s son, did you really expect him to be a paragon of kindness and virtue?”

Steve huffed out a laugh. “I don’t know, I guess I expected…”

“Howard. Excitement. Recognition.” Peggy supplied the words, enough of her own disappointment in them clear as she lifted then closed the lid on a case of ordinary tools. “I was hoping for something, as well. It seemed like a chance to—”

“Start over?” Steve looked over at her, frustration clear. “Like if he was just like his father, maybe we could have been friends or—”

Peggy laughed, moving towards him. “I have news for you, he is just like his father.” She leaned back on a case as Steve turned, ready to offer a rebuttal. “You didn’t spend as much time as I did with him, Steve. He was crass. Rude. Drank far too much far too often and knew how to use his charm to get what he wanted.” She sighed, pushing her hand through her hair, sad and missing her friend. “Under it all there was a good person, you knew that man and so did I, but so very, very few did. He didn’t let people see that man until he knew them, and even then his tendencies to be a narcissistic asshole were always just below the surface.” 

Steve’s mouth twisted; he knew very well what kind of man Howard had been. “So, I’m just supposed to give Tony a pass for that?”

“No.” She took a deep breath and moved to check another case. “Quite frankly, I’m about one more trite, rude quip away from giving him a black eye.” 

Steve’s light laugh bolstered her heart. “At least I’m not the only one.” He lifted another lid and his laughter died, causing her to turn from her own case of standard issue body armor. “He was right.”

Peggy stepped over to him, looking over his shoulder to frown at the Hydra weapons. “Hate to say it, but I’m not surprised.” She lifted the Hydra weapon from its box, frowning. “Seems he also has his father’s trait of being annoyingly right.” 

His jaw clenched; she could feel the anger pouring through him. “Why would Fury hide this?”

Peggy sighed, unsurprised. She’d seen the memos that crossed Howard’s desk. She knew exactly why an agency would want to collect, study, and use Hydra’s weapons. “Because Howard had wanted to, and neither of us were there to tell him what an enormously stupid idea it was.”

~*~

The explosion rocked through the carrier, sending them all reeling and opening the floor below Peggy’s feet. She gripped the edge of one of the tables, holding tight as her legs dangled into the gaping hole, the carrier evening out finally. 

“Put on the suit.” Steve helped Tony out the door and turned. “Peg?” 

She pulled herself up from the hole, then turned to lay and look in it. “Banner and Romanoff both went down. I’m going to take the long way.” She looked up at him as she pushed to her feet and followed him out the door. “You stick with Stark.”

A few flights of stairs and a few more bruises later, Peggy found Natasha and Bruce. 

“Don’t change,” she heard Natasha muttering, trying to pull herself from the wreckage as Bruce couldn’t help but morph before her eyes. 

“We’re getting you out of here,” Peggy replied as Bruce lumbered off, growling. She lifted the pipe without difficulty and helped Natasha up.

Natasha tried to object weakly. “But he’s—”

“And you're hurt, and you know more about this place than the rest of us.” Peggy wished she had more time to know this woman, to understand her and trust her in the light of her blossoming mistrust of Fury, but she had little choice. “Let Thor worry about Bruce, he’s the least likely to be injured if they go face to face. We’ve been attacked. What do we have to protect? What will they go after?”

Natasha looked back over her shoulder, but then nodded and limped a step forward. “I know where I would go.”

Peggy followed behind, hands out in case the woman fell. “That's a good enough start for me.”

~*~

Steve’s voice was small in her com, hit with another loss so soon. “Close it.”

Peggy pressed the staff into the reactor, pushing as hard as she could, trying not to think about what that meant for Tony. 

She felt energy pulse through her, familiar energy that made her mind flash back to a time she wanted to desperately forget. Red Skull flashed before her eyes and she almost lost her grip on the staff. 

She felt the energy consume her like it had the day they’d gone down. She felt the scepter vibrate in her hands and it hummed through her body. The power of these two objects overwhelmed her, scared her. 

Her fear was enough of a reminder that she needed to push harder. They had to win, no matter what. Humanity had no other option. 

She gave another push, screaming with effort, until the staff reached the center of the reactor. 

Everything exploded in blue light. She felt it ripple through her body as she was pushed back. She landed hard against the glass of the building, right at the very edge of the platform. Gasping she reached out, grounding herself. 

“Peg! Peggy!” Steve’s voice was loud in her ear. “What happened?”

“Reactor’s down.” She huffed out, still trying to catch her breath. “I’m fine.” She took another shallow breath as Selvig helped her up. “Stark?”

Steve sounded hopeful. “Son of a gun.”

~*~

Peggy stopped Howard with a hand at his wrist, tired surprise written all over his face. “Yeah?”

They had only a few feet of privacy, standing outside the Shwarma place, gearing up to resume helping the police and SWAT teams with search and rescue. She looked to Steve, who was in deep conversation with an officer, before turning back to Tony. “We’ve gotten off on the wrong foot.”

Tony shrugged, shaking his head. “I think we can call it even now.”

“No,” Peggy replied gently. “We know you’re not Howard. And I don’t know what he’d said or done to make you dislike us- dislike Steve so much,” she started, holding up her hand, “but we’d like to start over.”

“My dad—” Tony sighed. 

“Your father was a grade A bastard.” Her words surprised him into silence and she took the opportunity to continue. “I knew him when he was young and he was as brilliant as he was boorish.” She smiled gently. “But he was a friend, and when I knew him there was still a good man in there. But you knew him a lot longer than either of us did.”

Tony laughed. “Yeah, I suppose I did.” He nodded, looking around before he let the next bit slip out quietly. “I think he was hurt. A lot. And he hurt a lot of people. Hurt me, really, because of it. You two dying- disappearing, whatever- hurt him.” 

“I can’t change whatever he’s said to you,” Peggy whispered. “I can only imagine based on the little I knew of him.” Peggy repeated herself, emphatically. “We know you’re not Howard, and Steve isn’t the Comic-book goody-two-shoes he’s been made out to be.”

“And you?” Tony asked, genuinely interested. “Are you not the super-spy Peggy Carter who could lift a tank and file reports with the best of them?”

Peggy smiled weakly, the memories flooding to her brain. “Perhaps. But did he ever tell you about the coffee I made?”

“No…” he drew out. 

“Said it should be classified as a war crime on more than one occasion.” She smiled, lightly. “I’d like to get to know you, Tony.” She took a deep breath. “And yes, I’d like to know more about my friend who I lost, and who seemed to have lost his way, but I’d very much like to get to know you.”

Tony nodded, uncomfortable with the outpouring of emotion, especially while he was still so raw from the battle. “Yeah, sure. Why not?” He tipped his head to where the rest of the group was waiting and started moving towards them. “We’ll, uh, have a game night or something. I’ll have Pepper set it up, she’s better at that stuff than I am.”

“Pepper?” Peggy asked, stepping carefully through the wreckage next to him. 

“Yeah- uh,” Tony scratched his beard, trying to figure out how to phrase it. “Steve’s got you,” he finally landed on, “and I’ve got Pepper.”

Peggy smiled, she’d already learned something new about him. 

~*~

True to her word, Peggy met Banner in Stark’s lab, ready to prove him whatever data he could while she and Steve took a break from helping with the clean up. A week later, there was still more to do throughout the city and there would be for months and maybe years to come. The tests were fast, and simple. By the end, she was smiling at Banner over the mug of coffee Steve had just brought her, confident she’d found a new friend. 

He smiled back. “Well, if you should develop any interesting symptoms—”

“Doctor Banner, I thank you for your concern but I—What?” Peggy stopped speaking as Banner and Steve both stared at her, open mouthed. “Why are you gaping like that?”

“Peg…” Steve’s mouth worked for just a moment before he pointed at her hand. “Your coffee.”

“Yes, I—” She stopped as she looked down, fully expecting to see her mug safely in her hand where she felt it, where she knew it to be, but instead it was floating in the air a few inches away, steam rising. “Oh,” she whispered, barely breathing. She could feel it in her hand, but at the same time she now knew that she could feel the air around it, feel the force of the mug pressing on the nothingness just as sure as she could feel the nothingness and know, know, that she could move that nothing to do whatever she wanted it to do, like hold up her mug. 

“Are you…” Steve didn’t have to finish his question. 

“Doctor Banner,” Peggy started, slowly extending her fingers and watching as she willed the mug slowly away from her and down to the table, then drew a gentle figure eight with it with nothing more than the twitch of her finger, “if you have a moment I do believe I’ve developed some interesting symptoms.”

“Yeah,” he laughed out, nodding with the hit of a smile, “I’d say so.”

[cosmic-has-moved]

Rehired [Chapter 3]

Ao3 Version: [HERE]

Different day, same antics at the same usually hours. It was chaotic yes, but it always has been to the point it was regular.

Everyone at the studio was doing their usual thing, writing, singing, drawing.

Except Audrey, who was on another errand run for Susie who since morning has been completely ignoring yesterday's incident. She would be lying to herself if she said it didn't bother her, but Audrey knew better than to argue at early hours.

"Run along now, my little angel~"

She hated how much the actress saying that made her stomach flutter. She also hated how much she was hesitating to speak up about her feelings to her.

The artist had been tasked to collect misplaced voice scripts for the actress and give them to her, they should really have folders for these things.

After collecting them all while chatting to other staff she comes across to keep her sanity, lord forbid she loses that. She made her way to the elevator to drop off the papers, hoping to finally speak to Susie about their relationship.

While waiting for the doors to open, Allison walked up next to Audrey and they both greeted each other with a smile.

"Are those voice scripts you're collecting?" She asked gesturing to the pile. "Did they get misplaced again?"

"Yup" Audrey answered, "They should really put these in folders, that way I wouldn't have Susie making me run around for them." She chuckled quietly to herself.

"Susie?" Allison blinked in surprise, "Susie Campbell? She works here as well?"

The elevator doors opened to reveal Susie standing inside of it, arms crossed with a bored expression. Until the two saw each other in mirrored shock, Allison's being one of surprise while Susie's was anger.

It had only now occurred to Audrey upon the two looking at each other, did she ever think about Alice's two voice actor's relationships towards each other. She quietly panicked as she followed Allison into the small elevator, the air immediately densing up as the doors closed.

"You" Susie harshly whispered while glaring at miss Pendle.

Allison looked down at Susie, a look of guilt and remorse on her face as Susie clenched her fist. "Susie, I-"

Susie cut her off, "Are you here to steal my voice acting role again?!" She pointed an accusing finger at Allison, who didn't even flinch at the outburst.

Audrey tried to slip away but was stopped by Susie who grabbed her arm tightly, hating that the touch nearly made her groan in need.

"I'm not here to do such a thing, Susie." Allison got closer to them and gently held Audrey's shoulder, "Let her go and I'll explain, okay?"

The actress's grip got tighter on the artist's arm that she gasped in pain, "Oh no, my little errand girl is staying right here." She tugged to lower the artist to her level and smirked, "Right, honey?"

Audrey could barely respond probably as her heart was racing and her brain was going all over the place, "Yes, ma'am." Her face blushed faintly.

A frown grew on Allison's face, "You're still dragging others around as your errand runners?" She forcefully removed Susie's hand from Audrey before stepping between them. "But besides that, this is between us, Susie."

Susie glared up at the older woman and crossed her arms, "I personally like to have witnesses around for when I am about to murder someone." She gripped onto Allison's shirt collar. "And I want her to hear what you have to say for yourself about replacing me."

Allison swiftly kicked her foot back to press a floor button, causing the elevator to finally move. "Now I understand why she was sick yesterday." She mumbled to herself while her face shifted back to remorse. "Just let me explain, Susie."

As the elevator doors opened upon reaching the selected floor, Allison motioned to the artist to leave, which she happily did to Susie's frustration.

Audrey didn't even look back as she powered walked back to her office, still unknowingly holding onto Campbell's scripts. Only ever realising after she sat down at her desk in a huff and looked down at the papers, cursing to herself for not just giving them to her.

Placing them down on her desk and straightening herself out, Audrey slammed her head on the wooden desk with a thud. Her screams of frustration muffled by the furniture, before she slowly lifted her head up and rested her chin there.

"Maybe I should have stay with Allison. Susie might actually kill her for all I know, but maybe she isn't capable to do so?"

The artist gripped her head as a painfully sharp headache began approaching, was this from the lack of sleep or something else?

Rolling her head to face the window and look at the cloudy skys, Miss Drew sighed. She thought about Bendy and how he's coping while she's at work dealing with so much drama, drama that she never really told him about.

She thought back to yesterday and how he showed concern for her, does he always worry while she's gone? Does he get lonely? Maybe she shouldn't leave him alone too much, maybe using her vacation days would help.

"I hope Bendy is doing okay, staying his usual happy self while playing with his trains." She mumbled to herself while a tired smile formed on her face. "Perhaps I should take him to the ink world again so he could play with the others, it's been a while and I'm afraid he gets lonely a lot. Yeah that sounds nice..." Her eyelids became heavy as she tried to fight off sudden weight of sleep.

When she next woke she found that there was a cup of coffee in front of her face, the warmth nearly causing her to fall back asleep. Sitting up and stretching before grabbing the fresh cup, she had wondered who left it there and more importantly, where was Miss Campbell's scripts?

Turning in her chair to examine the room, she was surprised to see both Allison and Susie speaking to each other while looking over the missing scripts. No battle wounds or torn clothing on them or anything, it was a shocker.

"Thank you for the coffee." The artist spoke out after taking a sip of beverage getting the two's attention, the hot taste easing her nerves.

Allison walked over to her and smiled, "It's nothing, dear. We're just sorry you had to see that earlier, we have talked it out and there's no ill will between us now." She looked over at Susie, "Isn't that right, Susie?"

The actress faked a smirked and replied sarcastically, "We indeed did, pet."

Sighing from the response but knowing it's the best she could get, Allison sat next to Audrey on her desk. "I hope it wasn't too awkward for you."

"Honestly." The girl chuckled, "It wouldn't be the first time I was in between two people being bitter towards each other, perhaps I attract it."

"Oh just blame Allison." Susie suddenly stood next to Audrey that it startled her, "It was her choice to work here." She said before walking passed them towards the door.

"I didn't even know you worked here, yet alone even know that you returned to voice Alice Angel again." Miss Pendle crossed her arms. "And who tried to prevent her from leaving again?"

Waving a dismissive hand at the woman, Susie opened the door and looked back at them. "Whatever you say." She looked over at Audrey and blew at kiss towards her, making the poor girl turn red. "See you later, pet~" That's when she left the room and closed the door.

Letting out a short sigh and looking down at the other, Allison grabbed a chair and sat next to her. "I must say, you chose an interesting woman as your partner."

Audrey froze and her face turned red, "Partner? As in girlfriend?" She asked in a panic. "Susie's my girlfriend?!"

Quickly realising her mistake and holding her hands up to calm the girl down, "You two aren't? I just assumed based on how she acted towards you."

Audrey quickly shook her head, "We're just work colleagues! Is that how we're viewed?"

Allison laughed nervously, "I mean, I have been told you accompany her quite a lot by other animators. How long has she been so." She paused for a moment to think of the proper word, "Flirtatious towards you?"

The question caused Audrey to bite her bottom lip, "Around the time we first met. I didn't even know she was being flirty, just being extra friendly." She crossed her arms in a hold. "I even thought my feelings were making me over think it..."

"So you do like her? Romantically?" Allison asked before leaning close, taking a mental note of Audrey's sudden change in mood.

"I guess so." The artist looked down at the floor in deep thought. "I haven't experienced falling in love before, so it's all so new to me."

Leaning back in her chair and continuing, Audrey looked out the window. "Does being in love involve constantly craving their presence? Melting as soon as they touch you? Losing sleep because all that appears is their face?" She looked back at Allison with a blank expression, "Does it involve becoming someone new?"

Miss Pendle shifted her gaze to the ground in thought before looking back at Audrey, "You mentioned how you never fell in love before, how far does that go? Have you ever had a first kiss or even been on a date?" She held her hands together and rested them over her lap. "Of course you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable to."

Thinking back through her life so far, Audrey tried to remember a single time she had experience such feelings or even been put in a romantic experience.

There was a time during her school years that a few asked her out, but she rejected them due to no interest in them.

Her first heart skip was Susie, her first kiss was Susie. But why her?

"It's Susie." She answered, "But I don't know why." The same headache returned but faintly.

"Can I try something, Audrey?" Allison asked and scooted closer to Audrey after receiving a nod, her hands slowly raising to the girl's face and gently holding it.

She flinched at first at the touch and closed her eyes shut but quickly loosened up, her face nestling into Allison's hands as a needy sigh slipped through her lips.

The same lips that felt another pair press up against them, the touch making Audrey's eyes to snap open and push Allison away in surprise, her hands covering her mouth while staring wide eyed at the other who shared the same expression.

"What about that didn't you like?" Allison asked while scooting away, clear embarrassment in her gestures.

"It wasn't Susie's lips!" Audrey angrily threw her hands up before realising what she said and proceeded to bury her face into her palms, Allison hesitantly patting her back. "But I also didn't hate it..."

"I want to kiss you again, but I also want the kiss to be from Susie." The artist groaned loudly in frustration and removed her hands from her face. "What's wrong with me?"

Looking at her in sympathy, Allison could only answer with what might help.

"Tell her how you feel" She smiled at her to assure her, "With how affection she's appears to be towards you, she could be in the same boat as you."

Audrey smiled at her and gave her a hug which she returned, "Thank you again, Allison."

Chuckling to herself while patting the girl's hair, Miss Pendle sighed happily. "It's all about honesty, it's what makes problems and relationships heal." Her gaze shifted away from Audrey. "I just wish Joey took it to heart."

Lifting her head up after remembering something and looking at Allison, she asked her a question that had been nagging her.

"How did you know Joey Drew was my father? I only knew about that information about two months ago."

"That pin you have, it was something he made himself and only showed to people he trusted. I was one of those people." She stood up off the chair and put the chair back. "I'm honestly surprised that he has a child, he never really appeared to be a loving husband or father type of person."

"But now that I look at you after figuring it out. You're a splitting imagine of him, you have his eyes and hair." She crossed her arms, "It's a funny coincidence that you work at your own father's studio without his involvement."

"I" Audrey began before laughing softly, "I guess that makes sense." She sighed in relief. "It seems we both have a strong fascinating with Bendy, perhaps I unconsciously knew about him and that's why I became hooked."

"Perhaps, but we might never know." Allison added before continuing, "But I must ask, do you know your mother or?"

"Oh" Audrey thought for a few seconds to think of a logical answer, not wanting to reveal that her mother might've been the ink machine. "I never knew my mother, not even sure she's alive to be frank. I was mostly in an orphanage for as long as I could remember."

She tried to continue speaking, but harsh memories stopped her and Allison could tell.

Placing a hand on the artist's shoulder, she reassured her. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." As Audrey slowly nodded, she stood up off the chair than walked over to the door and opened it. "But other than that, I'll leave you to it. Take care, Audrey."

They waved at each other as she left and closed the door, leaving the artist alone in the room.

Audrey sat at her desk feeling a small burden fall off her shoulders.

___

After finishing her shift and making her way home after getting off the train, Audrey began thinking about Bendy again.

Was it really right to just put him in the ink world when she had time to? Does he feel lonely without her in both the apartment and ink world?

A huge wave of guilt washed over her. Audrey had always wanted to bring the little guy to work with her, but the fear of what the world would do to him lingered all over her.

She had to keep him safe.

Walking into the apartment complex and taking the stairs up to the needed floor, Audrey walked into her home and greeted Bendy who was no where in sight.

"Bendy?" She called out slightly concerned as she wondered around. "You better not be in the washing machine again."

Suddenly to her absolute horror, Bendy in his ink demon form crawled out of the bathroom on the ceiling, eating what looked to be one of her clothes.

Jumping up and grabbing onto his horns, Audrey glared at him. "Get down right this instant, young man!"

The demon only replied with a snarl before climbing down to the floor and allowing the young woman to safety stand back on the floor, his voice speaking in the usual distortion. "You took forever!"

"I know and I'm sorry..." She sighed in guilt, holding his head in reassurance. "I was just caught up with work and other stuff, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

Sitting on the floor and crossing his arms as his body slowly shrunk , he growled a response. "I just don't want to feel alone..." He hugged her, "But I also know that you can't risk leaving your work or taking me with you."

Audrey held him in her arms as he finally shifted back to his toon form. "I've been thinking about how lonely it must be here for you, buddy." She walked over to the couch and plopped him down next to her. "And it just feels wrong leaving you in the ink world as well."

The toon looked up at her and rubbed his teary eyes. "So maybe, I should get you a little buddy to keep you company while I'm gone?" She smiled as his eyes lit up. "You want me to get us a pet?"

His rapid nodding made her giggle as she patted his head, "Okay then, any type you have in mind? Like a cat, dog or a lizard?"

Bendy looked around the room in thought before running over to the bookshelf, getting out a book with a cartoon cat on it. It was decided.

"A cat? Okay, buddy." She watched him run back to her and jump back on the couch, "I'll go get you a friend tomorrow, but you gotta look after them, okay?"

Audrey giggled as he happily nodded and did a salute pose, "Alright, little guy." She picked him up and stood up off the furniture. "Now let's get you some real food and put you to bed."

Bendy silently laughed before hugging her tight. She had a very good feeling for the up coming days.

[titlemewickedwonderland]

His Starlight Her Firefly (Chapter 6)

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Workshop

Previous

He breathed her in. The scent of her skin and the way her soft curves felt wrapped around him and pressed against him. For the briefest of moments, his mind did not wish to believe that this was the same little girl he had left two years prior. She had only been a girl who looked as if she was of two and ten years and now she looked and felt like a woman grown already. But Daemon knew to his very core this was his Astraea. His starlight. Even as he went to pull away and her arms tightened around his neck to keep him close he knew she was all the same spitfire and energy he had loved as a little girl growing up. She had grown up. And if he was any other man he would not have allowed a striking beauty like herself to cling to him as such while being a married man - But Daemon wasn't any normal man and he with his lady wife had not consummated nor touched each other since their ceremony. 

A soft laugh vibrated through his chest as one of his arms rested along the slight curve of her waist and the other slipped into the silky strands of her tangled black locks at the back of her head to hold her closer for the briefest of moments; simply enjoying the fact that he was home and able to see her once more after two long years of silence - a fact he was seriously regretting as he held her, how much had he missed of her growing up because he chose to distance himself for the sake of sanity and focus? Despite Westeros not always feeling at home as the years grew he knew wherever this incredible woman stepped foot home would follow suit. This fact was made steadfastly true as he felt her nose nuzzle at the skin of his throat where it peaked from the color of his leather riding gear and a smirk tugged at his lips.

"Ao emagon grown, dōna mēre. Skoriot iksos bona riñītsos nyke geptot inkot? " (Trans: "You have grown, sweet one. Where is that little girl I left behind?") he asked in the tongue of High Valaryion; deep and content as he allowed his cheek to rest against the top of Astraea's head. 

"Hae ao vestragon drēje, ziry mazverdatan bē" (Trans: "As you say true, she grew up.") her reply came swift and easy as ever before she was suddenly pulling her face from his neck and glaring up at him with such fierceness he thought perhaps she would burn him alive with just her gaze alone like Caraxes's fire.

"Two years and not a single word from you! I wrote you letters upon letters for days and you didn't even reply to a single one! I thought you dead until I came across letters from you on Uncle's desk talking about the bloody war! You could write him but not me?!" she jabbed a finger into the leather of his chest plate still with that fierce glare upon her pretty face. 

"I was so worried! I had to take the company of the dragons when Uncle was too busy for me. Do you understand how hard that was for me? When all my nights were filled with cold loneliness because you were not there to keep me company in the late hour by the fireplace. Or when you'd read to me before bed the histories of the dragons. Or how you'd sneak me into the kitchen at night for some sweet cakes that cook left over from supper. Do you know how hard it was for me when I had to go riding horseback with Uncle in the mornings when he wanted fresh air? Horseback Daemon! Not dragon riding...horseback!" her words ending in a pant of breath as she spewed it all to him between animated waves of her hands.

Daemon stared down at her unblinking through it all as if she damn near grew a second head but then his lips were pressing tightly together to hide the grin he knew would only make the princess more irritated if she saw it and most likely fly her into another tirade. Any normal man would have scolded her and told her it was his duty; that she should concern herself with things more to her station. But he was not and she was different than other ladies and women of the court. So instead of brushing her off the rogue prince reached up to take hold of her face in his palms and leaned down to press his forehead against hers; gazing into the vibrancy of her eyes as if trying to sink into her very soul.

"Shijetra issa, dōna mēre. I did not mean to upset you." (Trans: Forgive me, Sweet one") Daemon murmured while his thumbs brushed along her cheekbones with such tenderness as he gave her a small smile which Astraea weakened to the effect and returned the smile with an indulgent one of her own.

"You could have at least sent me one note. That's all I ever really wanted to make sure you were alright." she finally surrendered allowing the righteous flame of her frustration to die out completely in a puff of smoke as she played with the ends of his long white hair that rested along his shoulders. "I missed you." 

His eyes slid shut briefly hearing those three words slip from her lips. Because he honestly missed her too. More than he would say aloud. But instead of saying them back to her, he reopened his eyes to look at her again. 

"I got you something." Daemon pulled away from her; allowing her gentle curves to slip from his fingers. 

Astraea watched with childlike interest as the man stepped back to Caraxes's side to reach for the pack tied to the saddle and brought out a small velvet bag before he was stepping back in front of her with it in his palm. 

"What is it?" her brows furrowed as she looked at the black velvet perched in his palm. 

"Something I got for you for your eight and tenth birthday but it seems you have outgrown it throughout the years faster than anticipated so I suppose I shall give it to you now." the prince chuckled as he began to untie the strings of the baggie and reach inside to pull out something that glittered in the fading light of the evening.

"Oh...it's beautiful, Daemon." Astraea's gaze glittered in the light like twin gems just as much as the necklace the man held up between them did in the fading light. 

It was truly a work of art; crafted specifically in mind for the princess herself. It was 3 delicate chains the color as black as coal but glistening with a metallic shine intertwined in a braid; thick enough that it was designed to be worn like a choker necklace and in the middle sat a ruby as a centerpiece. Below attached by a thin delicate black chain no more than an inch long was the carving of a metal dragon with one crimson eye made from a ruby glaring in the sun.

The princess reached up to caress the carved dragon and smile before the necklace was pulled from her grasp and the man twirled a finger around in the air in a silent command to turn around. Huffing with a playful roll of her eyes Astraea did as she was told and turned around. She smiled when she came face to face with Caraxes who had refused to follow the keeper into the cavern and was waiting with impatience to be greeted in return which the young woman did so with a flurry of High Valaryion endearments as she hugged the snout that was shoved unceremoniously against her chest making her stumble back into the rogue prince who grumbled something no lady should hear. But the princess did not mind and instead placed a kiss on the warm scales of the beast with another coo of delighted endearment. 

"He's just grumpy, old boy." she teased resting her cheek on Caraxes head for a heartbeat before she pushed lightly at his cheek with a firm command and an even firmer look on her face as if a mother chiding her child. "Jikagon iemnȳ." (Trans:"Go inside")

As the large red beast gave a grumble but followed her orders Astraea could hear the prince grumbling even more under his breath behind her something about his dragon listening to only her and she turned to chide him but he merely grabbed her shoulders and spun her back around. 

"Damnit Astraea turn around woman!" he ordered impatiently as he grabbed a fistful of her thick long curls and flung them over her shoulder.

"Temper temper Daemon. It's unbecoming of the king's brother." Astraea glanced over her shoulder at the man with a teasing mirth in her eyes

"When did you become so impish." Daemon's voice was low but teasing as he leaned closer and draped the cool metal over her head to rest against her throat and fasten the gift to its owner. 

"I blame you. I spent far too much time with you when I was younger, Daemon. I swear." 

"Don't swear, it's unladylike."

"And then you abandoned me." the beautiful girl spun around when she felt the clasp to the necklace latch. "How do I look?" she posed as if posing for a portrait painting with her shoulders thrown back and chin lifted up proudly.

Daemon's mirth turned into something more like tenderness with something else gleaming in the depths of his violet irises she could not place as he reached out to brush aside her hair from her shoulder; his fingers stroking down to the dragon that rested just below her collarbones. "You look beautiful, Dōna mēre." he murmured 

Astraea looked up at him and smiled slightly as she reached up to grasp his wrist that rested at her throat. "I've missed you, truly."

He stared deeply at her for a moment as if he was mulling over something that was deep; his gaze flickering across her features making her wonder what he was thinking. But then he pulled his hand away from the warmth of her skin and instead linked her arm with his to guide her back down the side of the mountainside away from the Dragonpit. "You can tell me all about it during dinner. I feel like we have much to catch up on, princess."

~

She was amused. Seeing the tension and the surprise that no one else would have seen in his eyes if they knew Daemon as well as she when the man walked into the dining hall that night to find that there were new faces amongst the people last seen in his absence. Astraea sat on Viserys's left side at the head of the table while Aemma sat on his right across from her and him in the middle. There were others on council both from the court and those of Aemma's household that sat in the chairs scattered on both sides and everyone looked at the prince returned from battle in barely contained surprises. Viserys was one of those who stared in silence but Astraea knew he was secretly happy to see his brother home alive and without harm; that much was clear as he beckoned for a chair to be placed between his niece and the man she had been sitting beside. 

"I'm glad you made it, brother," Viserys spoke up quietly as the servants placed the dishes down and the cluttering of silverware covered the conversation of the royal family at the head of the table. 

"I was worried he was going to have vanished in his bath if he was even a little bit late in arriving," Astraea commented with a joking smile as she reached for her cup of wine in front of her receiving an odd look from Daemon who followed the journey of the golden goblet to her lips before he was meeting his brother's gaze. 

"I am pleased to be home. I've truly missed Westeros after two years of nothing but the battlefield and unruly men." Daemon's lips curved into a slight smirk as he began to pick at his food. 

"And here I thought you'd be going home to your lady wife instead of visiting the Red Keep." Lady Aemma gave a pointed look to the prince who stared her down without blinking.

"We can talk more of war later. Let's enjoy dinner." Viserys stated with a knowing nod before he was reaching for the pretty blonde's hand on his right side. "You remember our cousin the Lady Aemma of House Arryn, don't you brother?"

Daemon glanced at the woman before giving her a polite but courteous smile and nod. "I do. It brings me joy to see you are in good health, my lady. I hope my brother has not yet bored you of his company."

The brotherly jab did not go unnoticed as Astraea coughed into her cup of wine while she choked on the red liquid in the midst of a laugh and she covered her mouth feeling the tips of her ears growing red with embarrassment as amused gazes looked at her across the table.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to laugh." she wiped at her lips with a cloth and cleared her throat facing her plate again.

"It's always good to hear your laughter, niece" Aemma replied raising her own cup as a silent toast to her before sipping at the wine with smiling lips. 

"Yes, well. I have asked Lady Aemma to marry me. The wedding will come in fourteen days time; I would hope you could come to the wedding unless you have more pressing matters to attend to." Daemon looked across between the two with wariness. 

"Oh? That is great news. Congratulations are in order then for the both of you." the rogue prince stated. "I shall hope to make it. I would never miss my brother's wedding."

'Just the princess's birthdays' - the jab was right at the tip of Lady Aemma's tongue but she refrained and instead turned to her niece who piped up with an easy:

"Truly." Astraea agreed with a proud smile and Viserys was relieved to see how his niece had warmed to the idea of an addition to their family although thinking back; she'd already accepted Aemma before it had ever been official - the darling girl that she was.

"I would assume then you'll be consummating for an heir soon then?" Daemon grunted when Astraea's foot collided with his chin and her ruby eyes widened in horror that he had seriously said that aloud and at the dinner table no less. 

"That's none of your business. You can't just ask that so bluntly!" she hissed at him before her hand swung out to smack him in the arm but his hand quickly caught her wrist and he brought her hand to his lips to a fleeting chaste kiss to her wrist to nullify her spark of anger.

"It was in jest, Astraea. We all know that is what is expected. There is no need for secrecy." 

the princess pulled her hand back with a huff and resumed eating. Not caring as Daemon's violet eyes fixated on the side of her face. She looked pretty tonight having bathed with oils that reminded him of a spring meadow while she donned a beautiful dress made of red silk that hugged her upper body and allowed modest cleavage to spill forth; holding up with a beaded gold belt below her breasts. He took note with pride that she wore the necklace he had gifted to her hours before and that it was showcased more prominently due to the fact that her usually waist-length black curls were pinned up in intricate braiding and pinned in place with gold ornate clips allowed her elven ears to be on full display. When he finally drew his eyes away he caught Aemma's knowing look and he flashed her an appeasing smile before dropping his gaze back down to his plate as he ate with an occasional break in conversation with those at the table.

When the dinner affair was finally over Astraea was happy to retire to her room while Daemon and her uncle excused themselves with their councilmen to the council room to discuss news. Aemma tagged along with the young woman down the hall until the pair was finally closing the princess's chamber doors closed behind them.

"By the gods! I thought that would never be over!" Astraea breathed as she sank herself onto the lounge couch by her window and kicked off her slippers from her feet to prop them on the soft cushion. 

Aemma laughed softly as she took a seat by her feet and rested a hand on her ankle. "You'd think you'd be used to them by now." she mused playfully before tipping her chin at her. "Are you happy to have Daemon home again?"

"I am. I've missed him very much." Astraea agreed with the slightest of smiles on her face as she sat up and drew her legs to the floor. "I've grown used to not having him around though; I've forgotten how potent his presence really is now that he's home. I'm just scared that in the morning he'll leave again without a word and I won't see him for another two years or longer," she confessed gazing down at her hands in her lap.

"I don't think there is anything to worry about. He doesn't seem too keen to leave anytime soon now that he's seen how much you've grown." Aemma amended softly as she scooted over and reached out to begin to pull the pins from the younger girl's hair allowing the dark curls to gradually fall to her shoulders.

"What are you talking about?" the princess blinked up at her

"I'm merely stating that if you do not wish for rumors to start princess you and your father should be a little more discreet in your mannerisms while in each other's company," Aemma replied carefully as she piled the pins in her lap.

"Daemon is not my father, Aemmna. I have never looked at that man as such!" the very idea made the girl's face scrunch up.

"Oh? I only assumed so since the king said you were taken in by Prince Daemon and you call the king uncle- If not a father figure then, princess how do you view the rogue prince?" Aemma asked carefully as she sifted her fingers through the girl's hair to untangle any curls.

Astraea sat thinking a moment with pursed lips. She spoke truly when she said that she did not think Daemon as a father figure. He had never once come off to her as such. Not unlike King Viserys who was the brother of the man supposedly raising her. Nor did she think of him as a lover. Daemon was simply...Daemon in her eyes. The one who had always guided her and protected her against the court while young. The very man who had fought for her honor time and time again, someone she had always found to be her comfort and her best friend but never once thought him as anything more than her Daemon. Her answer was not a simple one because to anyone else it didn't make sense.

"He is..." her teeth sank into the plump flesh of her bottom lip "He is simply Daemon. I do not know how to explain it, auntie. But I can assure you there is nothing but kinship between the rogue prince and myself. He has simply always been there for me growing up even while he distanced himself time and time again with training and war." 

Aemma's face softened and she grasped the girl's arms to draw her against her shoulder in a familial squeeze of support and comfort. "Well, just be careful. I do not think he seems to be on the same page as you in that regard. Others have the same thoughts about his display of affection for you so openly in public. He is not known for affection beyond twisted manipulation and his...well, never mind." the blonde gave a plaintive smile as she let the girl go.

"It's not my place to say anything, anyhow. Here, let me help you undress from your gown." she offered 

Astraea allowed the king's wife-to-be to grab her sleeping gown and help her into it before reaching for the necklace around her throat. But before Aemma could touch the piece of jewelry Astraea's hand clasped over it and her ruby eyes looked at her startled. 

"I'm sorry, I'll get it." she stammered as she tenderly unclipped the fine artistry from around her throat and placed it back in the little velvet bag that rested on her vanity. 

"It's beautiful."

"Thank you." Astraea did not venture further to tell her where she had gotten it but the words hung heavy on her tongue. The woman seemed to understand regardless and gave the girl an indulgent smile of secrecy before she grabbed a wooden comb and began to brush her long hair out.

"I love your curls. I've never seen anyone's hair this long; not even my own has grown to such lengths. You must take such pride in it." Aemma commented as she moved the comb through the inky locks. 

"Thank you." again, those words slipped like a parrot from Astraea's lips as she played with the fabric of her nightgown as her mind grew foggy with memories and daydreams 

"I have always been told that I have lovely hair. I suppose that was the approval of some sort from my peers that I didn't have the heart to change so that no one looked at me differently, but truly it's such a pain to care for." she sighed out at last

"You care too much about how people view you, princess." Aemma's words would have brought any woman to a haughty defense but Astraea simply nodded to her not blind to her own faults.

"I know. I cannot help it. When you look as different as I any praise one gets for their looks can change a mindset." she turned her head to look up at the woman standing behind her with sad eyes. "People are not so open to change despite the world we live in. When we are born into a certain role that is a role that we are forced to play. You know this as well as I do."

Lady Aemma's heart constricted in her chest and she stopped to set the comb down so that she could kneel by the girl's side. "Astraea." she reached up to lift her chin with a kind smile. "You are a beautiful young lady that anyone would be lucky to have in their lives. Just because you are different does not take away how special you are. You are the princess of Westeros with the king and his brother at your back with a dragon covering a protective shadow. You are powerful my dear and you need to see that. A princess never allows the jealousy of her peers to get under her skin as if their opinion matters. You are of house Targaryen. You have every right to this family as I do."

Astraea studied the woman's face trying to allow her words to sink in. Once upon a time she had believed them true. But as she grew and as her body changed so did the views of her peers. It was easy to hide her elven ears with a hat or decorated headwrap and if she kept her head and eyes downcast no one would see her eyes and speculate. But Aemma was right. She could not hide forever and as the princess was taken under the wings of dragons she would soon have to play a part in her family. The problem was. No one wanted the freak of Westeros to wed in fear whatever she was would pass to any future children she may have; if one dared to wed and stomach to bed her. No, she was not ugly nor did she give reason to make people hate her asides from her unruly tongue, not unlike the man whose wing she took shelter beneath but because people feared things they could not understand and Astraea Targaryen was a thing of fearsome beauty no one ever chose to take the chance to understand. And that was her lifelong curse until she died.

Chapter 7

[that-is-just-so-typically-me]

The last three consecutive days have gone so gently on my mental health I literally just had the thought to myself, “I feel like I might be getting some of my sanity back lmao”. But really, I have just sat here tonight after updating my resume and filling out job applications all day and realized that I had suddenly slipped into the quiet and full-bodied sensation of safety and peace. It was like my mind’s eye was turned inward on myself to find that I was actually genuinely happy (not ecstatic, manic happiness, but happiness in that calm and bright and unhurried way that I know is what we actually should be feeling the majority of our daily lives).

And it was like I stepped out of my high-strung tunnel vision for a moment and could still be aware of where I come from and where I’m going, but still give attention to myself in this moment, instead of never feeling properly present like I have experienced for so long. It went away a little as I began to think about what I was feeling, but I realized that I’d forgotten what that bodily sensation of calm and safety and security felt like, or even that it was a thing that happens and I can feel. I don’t think I’ve really felt that in many, many years. As soon as I checked in with my body, the first memory that came to my head was from like, five entire years ago. It’s unnerving how much you can just forget about your own experiences, especially when depression censors so much in hindsight.

But I think this is how I know that I need to lean into this direction. I’ve been so intentional with my choices for the past few days and it’s been great. I spent two nights in a row with one of my best friends (one night having a heart-to-heart I badly needed, and another going to a drag show which I, shockingly, also badly needed) and did a co-working thing with my friends who work from home and often meet up to work alongside each other, and I really think that’s what did it. I’m just not meant to be literally totally alone all of the time? I need to forgive myself for not tending to this sooner, because when you are launched into a mental health crisis suddenly but work two/three jobs and attend school full time, it is just hard to find time to stay connected to loved ones so you don’t find yourself isolated while you’re struggling. I know that my progress won’t be linear, but I’m writing this down so I can maybe remind myself of what I was feeling and what I was doing when I felt that way.

Anyway, cross your fingers for me that I get the job I want most 💚💚💚

[artsy-dreamer]

…how do I fix this once and for all

[gizmocrate-werecrow]

what to do when you are a leafling; Guardian of Pikmin

(:3)

The trio was surrounded by Armored cannon larvae. One charged up a rock and fired it, Jack and Dingo hid behind Bernard. Bernard did a punch, leaving it in rough halves. Bernard laughed and smiled.

“You know that wont stop me” Bernard said he then yawned and groaned. The chittering choir echoed in his mind as he felt all of his thoughts slip away. He mentally tried to grasp on his own sanity and felt it grow foggy and dark.

“...”

Dingo dragged Bernard out of the way of another boulder, scooping Jack into his arms. He tried to  slip through, a rock hitched his boot and he fell. Jack shook the others again with nervous twittering again.

“Dingo! Bernard! Get up!” Jack begged, they looked up at the armored cannon larvae and panicked and groaned as they nudged Dingo.

Dingo moaned, the world was spinning around him. His body was hotter than normal and colder than he could remember, he shaked and barely got up onto his legs before they gave way again.

“Sos this is…sos this is…please send help, please send help…” The red Leafling’s voice rang through Dingo's head. He quietly mouthed the words he heard. The dirt was looking quite comfy and maybe for a moment he could close his eyes…

There was a loud bellow, stopping the larvae. They looked up and squeaked in fear. “Leave these Pikmin alone!” 

There was a giant white furred creature with huge lumbering arms, it had a deep voice that reminded Dingo of the red Leafling that started this whole mess. It had strange red cuffs on both arms and blue eyes that almost seemed white.

“Wha—”

Jack perked up and cheered, they did a happy dance and looked up at the giant.  “That’s a Mamuta!”

The larvae panicked and slipped into the ground below.

The Mamuta kneeled down.

“‘Such a strange Pikmin you are?”

“I'm not a Pikmin! I'm Dingo of the SS shepherd! Ranger of the rescue corps and h-hey!” Dingo said, Mamuta gently touched the stem on the ranger’s head and thought.

“Hm, you must be another one of the half planted then. I have been seeing more of them as of late. But as long as it does not disrupt the Connection I shall not act.” 

“Huh? What do you mean, my friend has been talking about dandori every day! Only at night he seems to break through it.” Dingo said he could barely open his eyes at this point.

“Oh…that is the nature of the Connection, to send help to think as one. When I just freshly hatched I was greeted with an overwhelming sense of peace. That feeling is a part of me every day now.” Mamuta said, they gently picked up the two leaflings and pikmin and put them on their shoulders.

“Now close your eyes half plants, let the feelings of worry fade from your minds. Rest is important to all and is important for the soul.”

“But the monsters!”

“That is a worry made by the mind, now lay down, if you truly are a rescuer then you must know that not everything can be solved with brute force. I have seen your mind half plant. Clearer than others I have seen. Now rest.”

Dingo laid down, he weakly smiled as the Mamuta sat down, giant butterflies flew by and one landed on Jack’s head. Jack did a squeak and a long cute sounding yawn.

“Dandori…dandori in the day…dandori in the night.” Bernard sleep mumbled, tossing in the soft fur and smiling. Dingo took one last look at Bernard before his eyes closed.

Dingo was in the rescue corps headquarters in giya, despite all of the others mouths moving no sound came from them.

Bernard was showing a picture of his wife and kid to Collin and motioning to his ring. Russ and Yonny chatted in the self proclaimed science corner of the room, pointing at the other officers and writing down various notes. Collin was tinkering on the coms while simultaneously talking to Bernard, small sparks emitting from the devices.

But Miss Erma Shepherd, latest in the long line of the shepherds was patting a small yellow rescue pup. The pup’s pom pom tipped tail wagged with what he could guess was excitement. He shuffled awkwardly towards the pup and Sheperd, hiding a small red flower behind his back. Fear gripped his heart and he was shaking, just when the words were about to come out of Dingo’s mouth however the rescue alarm went off.

Dingo’s eyes snapped open, how long exactly was he laying on Mamuta for? The sky has turned from blue to hints of pinks and purples. Nightfall was coming and they needed to find Yonny’s hideaway! 

Wait, they were on the ground now!

“Jack, Bernard, wake up!” Dingo said he noticed Jack nudging Bernard yet again. He looked over Bernard and let out a long sigh. He heaved the heavy sleeping pilot onto his back.

“Jack, do you remember where the cave is?”

“Yes I do! Follow me!” Jack said, happily leading the way with a small marching tune.

Dingo looked over his shoulder and over Bernard, he swore he spotted a glint of blue eyes staring at him from afar.

(I freaking love Mamuta and I wanted to capture the sense of peace that the creature always had.)