#i completely forgot how much i adored the second law in high school

[dragonpaint]

if you interrupt me to say muse sucks because you learned it's popular to hate them when i say i listen to them after you asked me to list who i listen to i will pluck your eyebrows and eyelashes and hotglue them to your nipples

[creativeashproductions]

Proceed With Caution // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: The reader doesn’t expect to become involved in a hostage situation with her fiance’s older sister, the older sister’s best friend and the best friend’s date from hell. With the addition of a SWAT member, how will the taking of dispatch change?

Warnings: Swearing, blood, threats, angst, guns, hostage/kidnapping

Words: 5.9k

A/N: Recently got into the tv show 9-1-1 and completely fell in love with Buck so here I am writing for him as well. This takes place during the season three episode ‘The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1’. Reader and Buck are already in an established relationship.

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Masterlist

The apartment was quiet as the sound of your keys clattered in the bowl on the countertop. It was pretty early in the morning, so you had no doubts that Buck would be just waking up. On his days off, he would use the first day to catch up on sleep; based on prior times, he would be up in half an hour.

“Buck?” You called out from the kitchen. You heard a groan from the loft where Buck was in the process of waking up, “I forgot to drop off that book Maddie wants to borrow. When I get back, do you want to get breakfast?”

A grumble you somehow translated to approval was what you received in response. You jogged up the stairs to the loft to grab the book from your bookshelf. Buck’s bare leg stretched out from underneath the comforter on your side. The soft sighs Buck made in his sleepy state tugged at your heart; the sighs grew louder when you bent to kiss his head.

“See you in a bit.” You whispered to the sleepy soft male. He sleepily grinned in response before curling into your pillow.

The sound of your footsteps softened on the steps back to the main level of the apartment. Your keys snagged from the bowl before you gently closed the door behind you. The sun was gorgeous to be awake to see and had Buck not worked a long shift, you’d have adored watching it with him.

Your car pulled out of the parking spot in the Los Angeles Service Center’s direction that Maddie worked at. Your lips quirked as the radio spewed out the station that Christopher listened to in the car. You could even pick up the book in the backseat where he called his spot. The book could be found in Buck’s Jeep as well.

It had maybe three days since you’d seen the young Diaz, and damn did you miss the kid. Christopher has his enigmatic quality that demanded you love him for all that made him simply Christopher. The second you’d met him, you knew he would mean a lot to you.

You hummed in time with the song that was currently Christopher’s absolute favourite. Slowly you went from humming to singing along when the light turned green. A handful of songs came and went on the admittedly long drive due to traffic.

It was about forty minutes after leaving your apartment that you parked next to Maddie’s car in the parking lot. Lucy was sitting at the front office with a grin you matched. The woman buzzed you before she clocked out with her reprieve Jake.

“Hey, Sue!” You grinned at the older redhead. Sue had absolutely no problem seeing you, given that you were welcome in the building.

Sue’s first interaction was when you came to the centre to pick up Maddie when she came to work sick. Maddie had managed to keep it under wraps for an hour before Sue caught on. Ever since, Sue was fond of asking Maddie about her brother and you.

“Maddie’s not in just yet.” Sue spoke with a kind smile, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to meet with one of our sit alongs.”

You nodded towards her while beelining for the woman’s bathroom, hoping to catch Maddie after using it. You’d drank too much water on your run earlier this morning. Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate in the time you’d entered the bathroom, several things happened. Lucy ended her shift, Jake started his shift, and a group of strangers entered the building.

Your hand went to push open the door when through the crack, you saw two men you’d never seen before. Years of your job gave you enough feeling to know that something wasn’t right. That being said, you eased the door closed and attempted to find a hiding spot.

The garbage was too narrow and had no lid. The few seconds you had left, you glanced up. The ceiling hadn’t been renovated in many years. Rectangular sheets could be raised. Thankful of the rock climbing lessons you’d done with Maddie, you managed to crawl into the ceiling just as the two men entered.

“Nobody’s here.” The one-man with his head as pale and shiny as a cue ball. He gave off the most creepy vibe; the shorter Hispanic man wasn’t as violent looking, “Kinda hoping someone tries something. I’ve wanted to try out this.”

The man waved the large gun in his hand with a sick smile that twisted your stomach. That was the moment you’d realized something was very wrong. The second they left, you gently dropped back on the ground. Your first instinct was to send a message to Athena, but there was a fatal flaw. You’d expected to be in and out of the building quickly, so you’d left your phone in the car.

“Fuck.” You swore. One hand roughly running over your forehead as you contemplated figuring out a plan.

The building had many cameras throughout that you knew the blindspots for. The year after high school and during the summers, you’d worked in the building. Despite having worked here when you were younger, it was never during Sue’s shift. Over the years, you’d come to know the blind spots and a few cameras that were decoys. You even remembered Maddie and her friend Josh complaining about three cameras not fixed yet.

“Think.” You breathed, making a pattern of pacing, “They’ll need a lookout. They’ll take out the security guard first. The front doors are out. It’s a team, so they’ll also need eyes on the building. Terry is definitely a hostage.”

Of course, you’d end up in a volatile situation during the first half of your day before your shift started. The only comforting thing about the situation was the holstered gun on your hip and the badge on your belt. Maybe you should backtrack to why you had a gun and badge; you were an LAPD member, specifically SWAT.

“The changeroom.” You breathed, recalling it was down the hall with no camera. All you needed to do was pretend to be a dispatcher. The changeroom, now mostly a file room, had a few extra maroon and blue uniform shirts.

You timed it. The man holding Sue’s tablet was in the process of talking with his cohort, so you dashed to the room. You took no time in changing into a loose maroon shirt with your thick sweater overtop to hide the gun in the small of your back.

Your holster, badge and personal shirt tucked in the bottom of a box for safekeeping. As soon as you saw your entry, you sat with the group of hostages a hall over. A few looked surprised but let it go when you raised one finger to your lips.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Maddie hissed from the other side of a startled Josh. Both of them were surprised at seeing you here, “Oh my god. Buck is going to kill me.”

“I was dropping off your book before I get breakfast with Buck, but it appears my small bladder saved my life.” You snarked with your eyes scanning the room, “What’s going on?”

“That is my date from hell, Greg.” Josh inconspicuously pointed towards the man, clearly giving orders. The anger flared inside you, “You need to get out.”

“Josh, no offence, but I’m an officer with the LAPD. I work with SWAT. I’m your best bet of making it out alive.” You informed the dispatch duo, who went still as Cue Ball patrolled the hallway with a sadistic glint in his eyes.

“They took control of the building for a reason we don’t know about. We’re still working but under strict monitoring. They said it will be an hour, but we’ve seen their faces.”

“No witnesses.” You finished for Maddie with a deep sigh, “Unfortunately I left my phone in the car. Did they take yours-”

“They took Linda’s EpiPen. Of course, we don’t have phones.” Maddie sighed, leaning back to rest her head against the wall. Not even having a SWAT member by her side was comforting; your badge put a more significant target on you.

“We have to warn someone.” Josh mumbled to both Maddie and you, “You’re on shift Y/N?”

“Not for a few hours. I was supposed to drop off the book and get breakfast with Buck before my shift. This was supposed to be five minutes tops, so I left my phone in my car.”

“I already did.” Maddie spoke with a sad look on her face that overtook the fear, “I just hope he gets the message.”

Your hand reached out to squeeze the woman you’d had a hand in raising Buck more than their parents. Maddie had become family when you first started dating Buck. The in-law part of her familial relationship to you never crossed your minds; you were simply sisters to each other.

“Who?”

“Chim. I told him I loved him.” Maddie finished with a teary gaze. It made you sick seeing that look again after Doug.

You remembered seeing that haunted look when she stumbled out of the thicker woods covered in blood. You’d stayed by Athena’s side when Buck clutched her so tight and sobbed with her. It had been before you’d become serious with the man, but it was that frightening day that Buck fell for you. You’d just finished a taxing shift with your team when you heard about Maddie was missing, and Chim was in the hospital. You’d ignored the exhaustion to search high and low through your work contacts before narrowing the search area.

“Good thing Chimney obsesses over the little things.” You spoke, slouching down against the wall, “We’ll get throu-”

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Maddie warned you with her brows furrowed together, and you saw what she was doing. Despite your years of experience and the gun you had, she pushed her fear down behind the concern that a big sister shows her young siblings.

“I won’t.”

At 8am, Buck was just entering the apartment building from grabbing the mail addressed to both you and him when Chim had called.

“Yup, go for Buck.” Buck spoke, opening the door to the apartment he’d only temporarily left. His morning had been late after his long shift the night before. The most productive thing was dressing for his breakfast date with you and grabbing the mail.

“How come 9-1-1 doesn’t respond when I call?” Chimney questioned the younger, now confused male.

“Uh, is that some kind of riddle? Like who watches the watchmen?” Buck asked, closing the door behind him. His eyes scanned around for any indication you’d returned home, but the bowl was vacant of your keys.

“Neither of those things are riddles. Okay, I just tried calling 9-1-1, and I got the high call volume message. Did I miss an earthquake or something?”

“Nope, pretty chill morning.” Buck responded as he closed the fridge door with a bottle of water in hand. The entire conversation wasn’t concerning to him, given that Chimney was often like this.

“Where’s Y/N? She’s the police she’ll know-”

“She’s not home right now. Wait, why are you calling 9-1-1? Is everything okay?” Buck slowly asked with his brows coming together. The sigh of frustration from Chimney was answer enough.

“Your sister said that she loved me.”

“Yeah. Wasn’t that uh, the whole point in that big date you had last night?” Buck inquired on his way to the table. He had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation that would hopefully pass the time until you got home.

“You declare your love, and she declares hers? That’s how it went with Y/N and me.”

“Yeah, I know, okay, but she didn’t, all right? At least not last night. Look, she made this big deal saying that she couldn’t say those words, and then this morning, she blurts them out and hangs up on me.” Chimney speaks, pacing in his own apartment. The side by the side of Chimney and Buck’s separate apartments told different tales of their states.

“It’s still not quite sounding like an emergency.”

“’Cause I sound insane.” Chimney spoke, staring up at the ceiling with a battle in his mind. He wants Buck to talk him out of this, but he also wants Buck to agree with him, “She’s at the call centre. What could happen there? You know what, forget it, I’ll try Y/N again.”

“Again?” Buck questioned just as his co-worker ended the call. Buck tugged his phone away from his ear to stare at it confused.

You always answered the phone if you weren’t working at the moment, but given you still had hours, he found it unsettling. After seeing the news report with the ladder truck on top of him, calls weren’t ignored between you two. That feeling of concern grew when you didn’t answer his call either. Nor the second one.

“Nah, she’s probably talking with Maddie.” Buck spoke, but that second-guessing feeling didn’t dissipate. 

In the call centre, you’d been marched to one of the stations with a deep hope that you’d remember everything. It had been years by then since you’d worked as a dispatcher. It didn’t help with the gunmen patrolling the room.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” You calmly questioned the caller.

“Hi, my cat is up the tree by my house. Could you send someone?”

“Can I get your name?” You went through the motions of getting her name and address before you informed the woman, “Okay, the LAFD and LAPD no longer respond to calls of cats in trees. The cat will make its way down on its own. If the tree is in your backyard, I’d use the time to garden or read a book on this beautiful day.”

“Oh, thank you. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

“It’s no problem. Having a wonderful day Susan.”

In no time at all, you’d been rotated into the board room away from Josh and Maddie. It gave you time to inspect everyone you hadn’t made contact with yet. No one appeared harmed other than in distress with the situation.

“Downtown. They don’t want anyone downtown.” Linda whispered as Maddie was guided onto the floor by the elbow. You’d only gathered her name from her near-silent introduction to you when the hired guns had been far from your area.

“Let’s go.” Greg snapped, roughly pushing you towards the conference room. Something deep in your gut already predicted that someone was going to be stupid.

It was your sharp eyesight catching the minuscule agitation in Greg’s interactions with the Cue Ball guy. The slight tightening of his grip on the gun, the tension in the room growing stifling. And everyone knows that when emotions run high stupid things happen.

“Why do they keep moving us around like this?” The man beside Maddie questioned. He was definitely the most shaken of the group. He was basically shaking like a chihuahua.

“To disorient us.” Maddie spoke, staring at the group monitoring the dispatchers currently in play. Her eyes refused to leave them.

“So, we can’t make a plan.” You finished for your sister-in-law. Objectively out of everyone, Maddie, Sue and you were the most collected individuals for various reasons.

Maddie had lived in a volatile house with a man that could be unpredictable if a situation called for it in his mind. Sue had been working in the centre for years to navigate the emergency while you walked into dangerous situations.

“Jamal.” The shaking man spoke, holding his hand out towards you, “Are you new?”

“No.” You spoke as you shook his hand, “I’m Y/N. Maddie’s sister-in-law. I’m filling in as a favour for Sue.”

The lie slipped off your lips a little too quickly. You decided to come to this hostage situation as if you were undercover. It meant having to ignore that Maddie was in the situation with you.  

“Worst day for a favour.” Jamal snorted with his eyes pinned on one of the armed men holding all your lives in their hands. You’d have spoken, but Jamal checked out mentally from the conversation waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The shoe dropped when the IT Specialist announced numbly, “Jake’s dead. They shot him.”

It didn’t matter how long you’d been working for the LAPD, any death, whether it was a civilian or a criminal, it was still was startling. Jake, the security guard that alternated shifts with Lucy, wasn’t someone you spoke with. He was on shift when you weren’t here or just missed the shift change.

“We need to get a message out.” Jamal spoke, glancing at the only people in the right state of mind, and those were Maddie, Josh and you. Terry had seen the violence these men had no issues with.

“I did.” Josh breathed, thinking of the arguably cute security guard he sometimes liked to stare at, “A woman called about onions in an omelette. I dispatched an officer.”

“To the restaurant?” Maddie inquired with her pinkie connected with yours for comfort. Both of you would prefer your SO’s hand instead.

“Not exactly.” Josh replied, staring at his best friend with a glimpse of hope in his brown eyes.

Hope may be the only way you could get out of this without hurting anyone in your admittedly surface level plan.

“Buck will think something is up.” You added 

Buck had begun pacing the kitchen of the apartment with Chim adamantly telling his friend his plan to go to the centre. Buck had joined Chimney in the concerned department when you had failed to return to the apartment, return calls and to make matters worse, so was Maddie. His texts had gone unanswered as well, not even having the read receipt on.

“She’s not picking up either. I tried Y/N and Josh, but neither replied. When I tried Maddie and Josh, it went straight to voicemail.”

“Now, I’m definitely going.” Chimney announced, shoving his wallet into his pocket just as someone began knocking on his door.

“What if something is wrong? I know Y/N is a member of SWAT but radio silence? No text to let me know she was called in early?” Buck thought aloud with his finger dragging along his thigh, “Maybe we should call the police.”

“I...think someone already did.” Chimney informed Buck as he stared at the sudden appearance of Sergeant Athena Grant at his door.

“What? What do you mean?” Buck hastily questioned, leaning against the kitchen island. He could just faintly hear Athena speaking on Chimney’s end of the phone, “Chimney? What’s going on?”

“Athena was sent to my apartment. Hang on, Buck, I’m just gonna tell Athena what’s going on.”

Buck stepped away from the island to settle on the stairs to the loft, impatiently waiting for Chimney to finish speaking. That fear of losing pieces of his life expanded deep in his gut, just like the times Maddie left in his childhood. That fear of being left behind.

“What’s she’s saying now?”

“She’s making her case.” Chim whispered as he continued to eavesdrop on Athena’s call with her higher-ups, “Now she’s folding like a cheap suit.”

“All right, let me talk to Athena.” Buck demanded antsy to figure out the situation that clearly had something wrong. That fear he’d thought of early flared catching the tail end of Athena’s conversation, “No! No, no. We can’t just send in SWAT. If there is someone inside the call centre doing something, they’ll know we’re onto them.”

Unfortunately, Buck was correct in this thought process, all thanks to living with a SWAT member. He knew these things after the years he’d been with you.

“Maddie? I think I can sneak up to Terry’s computer. Maybe get eyes on the place-”

“No!” Terry nearly shouted, stiffening when Cue Ball hesitated in the doorway at his sudden shouts. You all held your breath for his reaction, but thankfully he was called away by one of the men, “They have-”

“Terry, I need you to calm down. I’m familiar with these types of situations. I’m SWAT. I need to get on top of this. Don’t be a hero.”

Maddie’s head began to shake when your arm was roughly grabbed by Greg, “Your turn.”

You were separated from Josh and Maddie, but instead of being pushed into one of the dispatcher seats, you were pulled to the original hallway.

“I don’t like how friendly you are with them.” Greg spat, shoving you to rest against the wall, “Don’t move.” 

You catch the eyes of Maddie with an apologetic expression before you used the pacing routine to sneak away. You didn’t release your breath until you were attaching your holder to your hip in the change room. By now, your team would be aware that something was wrong, Hondo would be hell-bent on finding you.

Until you had help, you were on your own.

You used each blindspot of the cameras in the halls to the stairwell, and you used a broom to adjust the cameras. The cameras not kept you from view but not appearing suspicious. Once at the floor where Terry was practically always at you softly closed the door. 

You’d only started to sit down when you heard the ding of the elevator, “Shit.”

You slipped into the closest containing extra parts if anything broke. Through the crack, you saw Terry being held at gunpoint. The gunman that had been holding the tablet on the floor, Ellis as you’d heard.

“You’re telling me every cop in the city has just disappeared?” Ellis demanded as Terry, and he disappeared around one of the corners. The tapping of a screen indicating Ellis was searching for something with Terry’s involuntary help.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know!” Terry snapped back, creating even more tension in the room, but Ellis didn’t move to grab his gun.

Ellis appeared to the only one reluctant to discharge your weapon, unlike Cue Ball, who just happened to join the party.

“Figure it out!” Ellis spat, turning on his heel at the sound of approaching footsteps. You could see him roll his eyes at his team member walking into the room.

“What’s going on here?” Cue ball questioned the duo in different kinds of distress, and you swore Cue Ball enjoyed the intimidation from his teammate and the IT specialist.

“That police car’s not the only one that’s gone dark.” Ellis nervously spoke, stiffening for the volatile reaction that one could expect from Foster.

“You think they know we’re here?” 

“Foster, it could be a system glitch.” Ellis offered keeping one eye on Cue Ball while monitoring Terry’s work as well.

Cue Ball spoke a sentence that sent chills up your spine, “Time to cut our losses.”

As Foster and Ellis began going over their personal plans made out of Greg’s knowledge, you noticed Terry glance over. His eyes widened slightly before quickly looking away when you raised a finger across your lips.

“We can go down the back stairs. I have a car waiting around the corner, we split the art up between the five of us, and we go our separate ways.” Foster spoke, revealing his plan to double-cross Greg, which in all honesty made sense. Greg was ill-fitting to be in charge of their operation, unable to control his lackeys.

“I like that part of the deal.” Ellis breathed, skirting around the trigger happy criminal only to halt in his steps, “Wait, you’ve got a car parked down the street? You were always gonna double-cross Greg.”

“You weren’t?”

“If we’re gonna do this, you can’t just sell famous works of art on eBay.”

“You can’t sell them from prison either.”

At that moment, something almost shifted in the area, something that made you pull your gun from your holster. Your body telling you something was about to happen. It happened in a split second. Foster fled the room leaving only Ellis just outside. With Terry frantically shaking his head, you tiptoed to the unsuspecting criminal.

“LAPD!” You shouted, pointing your gun towards the shocked man, “Put the gun down and put your hands up.”

“Aren’t you a dispatcher?” Ellis questioned, blinking in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? Next time check the schedule I haven’t worked here in years.” You spat, keeping your gun pointed on him, “Do I say-”

The sound of two guns going off made Terry flinch and scream as he instinctively dropped to the ground. IT was supposed to be safe, but Terry had now heard three gunshots in under two hours. He really didn’t want to see the outcome of the shots.

A moan coaxed Terry to peek out through the privacy glass. Ellis was on the ground while you kept your gun on him. He didn’t see anything else when the power went out. He didn’t see you drop to your knees, but he heard you.

“Terry...get down. Lay on your stomach with your hands insight, and don’t move.” You informed the terrified IT just as the floor was swarmed.

“Put the gun down!” The sound of Tan’s voice was welcoming as you slowly placed the gun on the ground. “25-David I have Y/L/N. The suspect is down, need medical.”

You got back to your feet when Tan nodded his head, “Thank god. There’s a possible body in the IT room along with the It Specialist Terry.”

“You got your badge on you?” Tan questioned as he cuffed the moaning Ellis up, “Street can you escort her down?”

Street nodded from his position, watching Tan’s back before guiding you to the stairs with hawk eyes. Even off duty, you kept your head on a swivel.

“You caused quite the commotion.” Street spoke halfway down the stairs when you barely mumbled. He caught you as you went down like a sack of potatoes, “Y/N!”

“Adrenaline is crashing.” You moaned, looking at your shoulder where the maroon had grown darker, “I think he shot me.”

“26-David I’m in the stairway. Prepare a medic.” Street spoke into his radio before he strapped the gun away and swept you into his arms, “Think you can have my back?”

“When don’t I?” You wheezed, with the sweat starting to bead on your forehead. As you crashed from adrenaline, you barely noticed being placed on the ground at the main entrance.

A paramedic cutting your borrowed shirt to reveal the bullet hole in your shoulder courtesy of Ellis, the only member who’d thought wouldn’t shoot his gun. You could vaguely hear Maddie calling out your name as you were loaded onto a gurney.

“M-Maddie?” You spoke, tilting your head to see Chris holding Maddie back from, “Chris! That’s my sister in law.”

Chris only let Maddie go when Hondo gave the all-clear, and you were so thankful when Maddie’s hand encased yours.

“Don’t close your eyes.” Maddie pleaded sick with the amount of blood on your skin and soaking through the gauze, “Who’s gonna help me put up with my little brother?”

“Buck.” You breathed sluggishly, blinking as the artificial lights changed to natural with the gun shining through the glass front doors.

“You didn’t let me close mine in that ambulance, so I need you to do the same. Don’t close them. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Maddie cried as an officer pulled her aside as you were stopped. You wouldn’t remember it, but Maddie had to watch as you coded right in front of her.

Maddie had to watch them perform CPR on you and fight for a pulse. She had to think of how’d she’d tell her little brother she’d killed his fiance. The counting of the paramedics sounded as if underwater, and as they did, the world went quiet. Her mind checked out as the trauma settled in.

Maddie stumbled out of the building into a zoo of officers, medics, and news reporters almost robotically. She barely felt Chimney hug her, but she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.

“It’s all my fault.” Maddie gasped, collapsing against him, “If I had-”

“Maddie?”

Chimney felt Maddie stiffen at the sound of Buck’s voice amidst the multiple voices milling around. Maddie raised her gaze to meet Buck’s blue eyes dripping in relief and question.

“Buck.”

“Maddie, where’s Y/N? Her car…” Buck trailed off, catching the utter heartbreak in his big sister’s eyes. A look he’d come to know in his line of work as a firefighter. The utter devastation that came with watching someone you love die, “No. No.”

“I got a pulse!” Came from the nearest ambulance, and Buck skirted around his sister and Chimney, “Ready to transport!” 

Your eyes slowly blinked at the white ceiling of the ambulance with pain in your midsection courtesy of chest compressions. Breathing came painful, and the bullet wound throbbed, but it all faded when you saw blue eyes above you.

“Buck.” You sobbed, more like groaned, as he was urged to sit on the bench holding your hand, “Maddie?”

“She’s okay. Chim’s got her. Can you keep your eyes on me? I need to see those big beautiful e/c eyes.” Buck soothed, bringing your hand to his lips, “Did I ever tell you my favourite colour?”

Despite Buck’s best attempts, you continued fading in and out of consciousness but continued to be stable. He spoke about the funny video Eddie had shown him of Christopher at the end of their shift last night. He talked about everything and anything under the sun during the short ride to the hospital.

The last thing you saw was Buck being held back as the paramedics pushed the gurney into the ER. Everything turned black.

The beeping was the first thing you heard before your eyes fluttered open to a stark white room and that unmistakable hospital scent. You noticed the second thing as Buck holding your hand in both of his with his forehead pressed against them.

“Buck?” You moaned to the one person you had wished to see. The man whose eyes were bloodshot from crying, “What’s wrong?”

“Your heart stopped beating twice. I thought I was gonna lose you.” Buck cried with his lips pressed against your hand, “I was so worried.”

“Hey. I’m fine. I’m here.” You cooed, tugging one hand away to run through his messy hair with a soft smile. His blue eyes brighten at the familiar feeling of your digits in his hair, “I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t here for decoration.”

His eyes found the ring he’d gently placed back on your finger from when the nurses had removed it. It only left your finger when you were on duty, in which it was slung on a necklace hidden under your uniform.

“Better not be.”

“Does the hospital have a chapel?” You questioned out of the blue leading to Buck snorting as you giggled, “I’m serious. When I was bleeding in that building, all I could think about was you. If Maddie is anything like you, she’s waiting in the waiting room with Chimney.”

“You aren’t wrong. All the chairs are taken. Our family was waiting for you to wake up.” Buck breathed, leaning closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips, “Are you sure?”

“About marrying you?” You softly questioned the man who couldn’t help but believe this was a dream. How he’d somehow got the girl of his dreams to agree to marry his ass, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. All I want to share is your last name for the rest of my life. You are it for me, Evan Buckley. All the flaws you see are beautiful to me.”

“Only you would want to get married after being shot mere hours ago.” Buck chuckled with a sigh pulled from his pink lips, “I’ll get the doctor for you and find out if we can be married here.”

While you were checked out, Buck left the room to go back to the waiting room where the 118 and your co-workers waited. Everyone perked up at his appearance, Christopher asleep on Eddie’s lap.

“Is she okay?” Bobby questioned as the tension in the room grew more and more. It shattered into relief when Buck grinned.

“She’s sore as expected. She’s gonna catch some sleep, but she’d like to see Maddie.” Buck replied, pinning his gaze on his big sister with her curled into Chimney’s body. Her cheeks flooded with tears of absolute relief, “C’mon.”

The waiting room started emptying with Buck’s promise to keep everyone updated, but before Bobby could step away, Buck asked for him.

“Do you need a few days off?” Bobby questioned just as Buck came closer to the seasoned firefighter.

“No. But could you spare an hour?” The expression on Buck’s face was enough for Bobby not to ask any further questions. He simply followed Buck back towards your hospital room, where Maddie and Chim waited.

“What’s going on?” Bobby inquired, with the addition of the hospital assigned Priest holding the standard bible. Chimney could only shrug in response to whatever was going on.

“I know there have been times we haven’t seen eye to eye, but Bobby, you’re like a father to me. You gave me chance after chance when anyone else would have given up. You guided me on how to be a man. Y/N and I would like it if you’d be here for this.”

“Wait, are you getting married? What about the wedding?” Maddie spluttered, flicking her gaze between her brother and you. Her question surprised her boyfriend and Bobby.

“We’ll still have it. But I want to marry her without the pressure of our parents. Just a private ceremony with some of the people that mean the most to us.” Buck answered for the two of you, “Would you stay?”

“Of course.” Maddie softly spoke with a slideshow of memories playing in her mind of watching Buck grow up.

Watching Evan go through all kinds of injuries, all in the name of attention but never getting it the way he deserved it. She remembered giving him advice for asking out Donna and holding him when he was rejected. The little toddler with the impish grin somehow turned into an idiot in the hospital.

Maddie saw the man her little brother had turned into with the help of the 118 and you.

Buck’s fingers made quick work of buttoning his short-sleeve uniform with the sudden appearance of his friend.

“That’s new.” Eddie spoke from his opened locker holding his uniform and a picture of his family on the door. It was a picture of Christopher, Buck, you and Eddie from the zoo a couple months back.

Buck looked over at his best friend, “Hm?”

“The ring.” Eddie snorted dramatically, looking at the ring that had been living on his finger since he married you five days ago, “Did my invite get lost in the mail?”

“Nah, we just got married in the hospital. We’re still planning the wedding to appease both sides of our family. And I promised Christopher he could be in the wedding. With Y/N on medical leave, the planning will be faster. She’s going stir crazy after five days.” Buck finished tucking in the shirt into his work-issued pants. Lastly, he slid his ring onto the metal chain he had bought recently.

Like you did, he would wear it around his neck when working for safety reasons.

“I’m happy for you, man.” Eddie told his friend just as the bell rang, “You’ll have to tell me how you’re liking the married life.”

“But first, we have a job to do.” Buck supplied all the while jogging to suit up in his turnout gear with Hen and Chimney.

[big-wet-cas-eyes]

wings: day 3 of @starrynightdeancas 's 2k followers celebration ✨ (ao3)

when i saw the wings prompt, i didn't think i would end up writing meet cute au, but here we are (wc: ~2000)

Thursdays are Dean's favorite day to be at conferences. Usually, there's only a partial day of events, and some people skip it altogether. Once the conference is in full swing, he'll be busy bouncing from talks to lunches to happy hours to dinners with people he only sort of knows. But on Thursdays, he can breathe.

Conferences certainly aren't his favorite part of being a professor. He's kind of a homebody, so the travel and socializing is a little much for him, especially when air travel is involved. But he does like exploring new cities, so he makes the best of it.

That's how he finds himself wandering around downtown Thursday evening. The streets are bustling with the after-work crowd.

Dean pauses when he passes one of those huge angel wing murals that he sees all over the internet. There are a couple of teenage girls standing there posing and giggling. Dean chuckles, and once the girls run off, he snaps a picture of it. His best friend, Jo, loves gimmicky tourist things like that, so he sends the picture off to her, along with a wish you were here text.

"Excuse me, would you mind taking my photo? If you have a moment, of course," a deep voice asks him. Dean looks up to see a man standing there, looking at him hopefully and gesturing behind him toward the mural. He feels his jaw drop open for a second when his eyes rest on the man's face. He's gorgeous. Dark, messy hair and piercing blue eyes that make Dean feel like he's melting into a puddle.

But Dean raises his eyebrow slightly when the question registers in his brain. This guy doesn't really look like the type to want a picture in front of a cotton candy-colored mural of angel wings. He looks to be about Dean's age. He's wearing a full suit with a trench coat on top, despite the summer heat. He realizes he's still staring when the guy clears his throat.

"Sorry for bothering you, I'll find someone else," the man says with a slight nod before beginning to turn away.

"No, no, wait, I'll do it!" Dean says, feeling bad for basically ignoring the guy while checking him out. "You just surprised me. Took my brain a second to process."

The man smiles at him. "Thank you, I appreciate it," he says, handing his phone to Dean. The camera app is already open.

Dean gives him a small smile back. "Not to be weird about it, but you don't really seem like the angel wing mural type."

"Ah, I'm not," he says dryly. Sensing Dean's confusion, probably, he adds, "I sent my daughter a photo of the mural earlier. She's been bombarding me all day with requests that I take a photo in front of it."

Dean smiles wider at that. The man's eyes light up as he's talking about his daughter, and Dean's smitten by how cute it is. "Totally get it, man. If my niece was old enough to text, she'd probably do the same to me." He thinks of little Mary, running around the house in a princess dress and fairy wings as Eileen tries to catch her. Maybe he should take one for her, too. "I've got you." He glances down at the guy's chest and adds, "Take off your badge first."

"What?" the man asks, clearly confused.

Dean pulls his matching conference badge out of his pocket. The lanyards attached to all of the badges this year are a horrid shade of neon orange. "This," Dean says, shaking it slightly, "Take yours off for the picture."

"Oh… thank you," he says, pulling off the lanyard and shoving it into a pocket of his trench coat. He walks in the direction of the mural. He turns and faces Dean, mouth in a straight line.

Dean snaps the photo and frowns. The dude doesn't look happy, despite the joy that was in his eyes when he mentioned his daughter. "Smile, dude! This is for your kid!" Dean says loudly.

The man huffs slightly, but then his mouth splits into a gummy smile, eyes crinkling at the edges. The smile is infectious, and Dean can't help the one that spreads across his own face in response. He takes a couple more photos before he gestures for the guy to come back over. He does and Dean returns his phone.

"Mind taking one of me? Looked at it long enough that I want to send one to my niece anyway."

"Yes, of course," the man replies, taking Dean's offered phone.

Dean smiles and poses (hands on his hips, like a superhero), and there's a good chance the picture captures the laugh that comes out when he hears the other man chuckle.

He walks back over and retrieves his phone. Then, he offers his hand for a handshake. "So I guess we're in town for the same conference. Dean Winchester. It's nice to meet you."

"Castiel Novak," he replies, grasping Dean's hair and shaking it firmly. "It's nice to meet you as well." He pauses for a moment, and his eyes widen with something that looks like recognition. "Dean Winchester. I just read your new paper, Bradbury and Winchester. It was fascinating."

"Hey, thanks, man," Dean says with a grin, "but if I'm being honest, almost all the credit for that one should go to my grad student, Charlie. She's the best."

"Well, it's a testament to your teaching that one of your students can produce such excellent research," Castiel says, and Dean blushes at the words. "I would love to be able to teach like that someday."

"Are you not a professor?" Dean asks. Maybe he misjudged the guy's age.

"No, I actually only recently completed my doctorate. It took a little longer than I'd hoped, but I had to take some time away from schooling for my daughter." Dean nods in understanding. A handful of people he knows had a baby during graduate school and it definitely did not make the experience any easier for them. "I'm beginning a postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Kansas next month, though."

"Oh, no way, that's where I teach!" Dean says. When he sees the glint of amusement in Castiel's eyes, he says, "But you already knew that. Because you just read my paper."

"I did. Different department than you, though. I'll be working with Professor Cain."

Dean smiles. "He's great, you'll like working with him." Before he can continue, Dean's stomach decides to punctuate his sentence with a loud grumble. "Uh, any interest in grabbing dinner? I'm starving, and I'd like to hear more about what you do if we're gonna be colleagues soon."

"Sure, I'd like that, Professor Winchester," Castiel says.

Dean scoffs. "You're uninvited if you call me that, Cas. Just Dean."

"Dean. Okay, let's go," he says, a small smile curling at the edges of his lips. They walk for a while, chatting a little about food and the city until they stumble upon a restaurant that sounds good to both of them.

Once they've ordered, Cas pulls out his phone. "I hope my daughter appreciates the picture," he says, swiping at the screen as he looks through the photos Dean took. He might have gotten a little carried away; there's a bunch. "I don't want to receive another photo of her pouting at me."

Dean chuckles. He pulls out his own phone to send his mural photo to his brother and sister-in-law. Cas also took a few, but he selects one where he's laughing extra hard. Took this for Princess Mary, tell her I love her, he texts to accompany the photo. "I'm sure she'll love it. How many pouting photos did you get?"

Cas hums, tapping a few times on his phone as Dean watches. "It appears… six." He turns his phone around to Dean. The name at the top of the text message thread reads Claire🐝 and he can already see two of the pictures. Cas's daughter, Claire, looks a little older than he expected. That, combined with the heavy eyeliner, doesn't make her seem like the kind of kid that would beg her dad to take a picture with an angel wing mural. Cas scrolls slightly and Dean sees a slew of please dad and you gotta! text messages, interspersed with more pictures of her frowning. It's kind of adorable.

"How old is she?" Dean asks.

"Fifteen," Cas answers. Dean opens his mouth, but closes it again when Cas continues, "I know, I don't look old enough to have a daughter her age. I get that a lot."

"Sorry," Dean mumbles. "No need to explain, I was just surprised."

Cas shrugs. "It's okay. Accidental pregnancy with my high school girlfriend back when we were both trying to convince ourselves that we were straight." Cas immediately blushes. "Sorry, too much information. I had already switched out of professional mode for the evening, and I forgot that we technically work together."

"You're in good company. No judgment from me. You won't be the only one out of the closet when you get there." He winks and then grimaces internally. He hadn't meant to start flirting.

Cas's eyes widen and then soften. "Thank you, Dean. I'm glad I haven't made a total fool of myself." His phone buzzes on the table and he picks it up. He smiles that wide, bright smile again, the one that Dean can't help but match. "Claire loves the photo," he says, turning his phone around. It's another photo of Claire, but this time she has the same bright smile on her face as her dad.

"She really wanted you to take that picture, didn't she," Dean says with a chuckle.

Cas nods. "She did. She's a sweet girl."

"Why's she love angel wings so much? She doesn't really… look the type, I guess," Dean asks, his curiosity finally winning out.

"The eyeliner phase is new. She's always loved angels, though. Her mother used to tell her angels were watching over her every night before bed, and I think that stuck with her."

Dean smiles. "My mom used to say the same thing to me. Definitely sticks with you," he says, as he pushes up the sleeve of his shirt. He holds his arm out to show Castiel the angel wing tattoo on his forearm, his mom's name and the dates she was alive in the middle. "Got this for her a few years ago."

Cas reaches out, brushing the edge of one of the wings. Dean shivers a little at the touch, but mostly just because of how soft and gentle Cas's hands are. "It's beautiful, I'm sure she would appreciate it," Cas says. "I think Claire's mom always said it because I'm named for an angel. Claire calls me her angel when she's feeling sentimental." Dean's not sure if Cas realizes that he's still tracing the edges of his tattoo. Honestly, he doesn't mind. The contact feels nice and he feels surprisingly drawn to Cas. His hand stays there until their food arrives.

The conversation shifts slightly, becoming more casual. They talk about their research, the talks they're planning to attend during the weekend, and a little bit about the university Castiel will soon call home. It's comfortable. Cas is really nice and interesting, and Dean's excited that it looks like he'll have a new friend when the school year starts.

A little voice in the back of his head hopes that he'll end up more than a friend, and Dean thinks the feeling might be mutual when Cas grabs his hand on their way back to the conference hotel.

[heloflor]

About MML season 2

So after rambling about one season 2 episode, I now want to rant a bit. So here’s a list of reasons why I find season 2 weaker than season 1. Obviously, this post is mostly me complaining about some stuff so, if you don’t want to hear about it, don’t read.

Note that this is a personal opinion and you have every right to disagree with it. Also, the points given aren’t sorted in any particular order of importance.

For those who don’t want to read the post (because you don’t have time/aren’t really interested/ can’t stay focused for too long etc) or if you only want to see certain points, here’s a list of what I will discuss here :

- Murphy’s Law seems weakened

- Dakota and Cavendish are like looney toons characters and more time is spent on them getting hurt rather than on their interactions with each other, which makes their plot boring

- Compared to most Dwampyverse couples, Zack and Melissa have no development

- Doofenshmirtz is annoying but does have his few moments

- A few jokes take too much time; in particular, “Cavendish Unleashed” makes me straight-up angry because of that

- They wanted to make a plot for Zack but it goes nowhere

- other smaller things like the lack of time spent on the school characters

Now, onto the longer version (very long post ahead) :

1. Less Murphy’s law

So in season 1, Murphy’s law was a main focus for the story, in the sense that it was pretty strong. Most episodes had stuff blowing up or getting destroyed. And often, you end up thinking that people got hurt by such mess. Take episodes like “Worked Day”, “Family Vacation”, “Murphy’s Lard”, “The Little Engine that Couldn’t” or “Milo's Halloween Scream-a-Torium”, to cite some of the most extreme cases. And yes, not every episode is like that, and some are even pretty chill when it comes to Murphy’s law like “The Race” or “The Substitute”.  Also, Murphy’s law was conveniently turned off except when convenient for the story in major episodes like “Missing Milo” and “Fungus Among Us”. But overall, you really had that impression that Milo’s life was chaotic and explosive and hard to live by.

In season 2, there definitely were episodes in which Murphy’s law was strong, like for example “Freefall”, the ending of “Teacher’s Feature” and any episode with the aliens, in particular the last three episodes of the season. But for the most part, Murphy’s law mostly felt like an inconvenience rather than an actual problem. For example, you have “Walker, Runner, Screamer” in which like one problem happens or “Disco Do-Over” in which Milo very easily solves his parents’ problem. It also doesn’t help that both episodes have at least one character make a big deal out of Murphy’s law.

But aside from that, there are also episodes in which Murphy’s law doesn’t even seem to really happen. Like in “Lady Krillers”, “Spy Little Sister” (I’d argue that the lightbulb accident would have happened regardless of Milo’s presence) or even “Cake ‘splosion” in which Murphy’s law is there but overall it feels more like Milo overcoming the show’s obstacles.

So yeah, Murphy’s law is still present but at the same time it doesn’t feel as strong as the first season. And while it does give more time for Milo and co to have some character development I guess, overall it just feels kind of off. And now that I think about it, this lack of a mess in the A plot in a show that’s meant to be chaotic might be the root for my next complain.

2. Dakota and Cavendish are too cartoony

 So in season 1, the B plot was my absolute favorite thing in the show. I couldn’t and still can’t get enough of these two idiots and how they play off of each other. But in season 2…let’s just say that I barely watch their plot during the first half of the season, and the reason is simple : Cavendish and Dakota are a joke in this first half. Their plot is all about them trying to get something and stupidly get hurt by it, and it just feels boring.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not against these two getting hurt. After all, they failed basically all their missions in season 1 and looked dumb while doing so. But the thing is : 1. In season 1, it was mostly because of Murphy’s law so it wasn’t always their fault and 2. The main thing about them in season 1 was their interactions. The most interesting thing about them has always been how they act with each other, at least in my opinion. Heck, my favorite B plot (not episode but B plot) is from “Abducting Murphy’s Law”, an episode in which all Dakota and Cavendish do is talk to each other in different places. It’s just two guys talking, and yet I absolutely love this plot.

So yeah, you don’t need to make Dakota and Cavendish be incompetent idiots for them to be great, you just need to make them interact with each other. That’s also why, out of all their “collecting trash” plots, my favorite is in “Lady Krillers”, because I love the first half with Cavendish complaining while Dakota is being baby while listening to music + their dumb argument over moving the bag and then Cavendish getting scared and Dakota immediately getting protective. This is fun ! This is cute ! This is very dumb and I like every second of it !

On the same note, I can’t stand the B plot of “Disco Do-Over”. The idea isn’t bad and the old lady is a great one-of character, but overall the plot is just urgh for me. The only thing I like is when Cavendish says that Drusselstein sounds made up (I guess Professor Time never wrote an autobiography) and Dakota starts listing made-up words, only to end up smiling at Cav while saying his name slowly in a borderline flirty way, as if he enjoyed every syllable of it. But thing is, I consider that, when shipping is the only thing I care about in an episode/plot, it means that it’s bad. And “Walker, Runner, Screamer” is in the same vein. I can’t stand the plot.

There are actually two things about these plots that I thing really pisses me off (the fact that these plots don’t have much of the duo playing off of each other doesn’t really pisses me of, it just makes the plot boring) :

First of, it makes Dakota seems completely incompetent. Yes I know he wasn’t a first-class agent and even in season 1 he wasn’t that athletic or anything but there was still the feeling that he knew what he was doing. He always managed to steal from Brick and Savannah or know where the duo was, he was able to save Cavendish hundreds of times and finally who knows what the Mississippi purchase was. So while he wasn’t the best, there was some competence. But in season 2, it’s more or less gone.

And for my second pet peeve : Cavendish’s mortality. In season 1, it was established that Cav had a hard time staying alive and could die from tons of different ways, including falling from great heights or getting sent through a wall by a horse. And while we do see him survive a giant rolling rock in “Murphy’s Lard”, Dakota still makes a comment asking if Cav is alive.

But is season 2, it seems like they completely forgot about this part of his character. The worse has to be in “Loot at This Ship” in which he somehow survives when messing with the ship. But earlier in the season, there’s also “Lady Krillers” in which he survives a bull attack three times ! Though, what really pisses me off with that isn’t just the fact that he survives for the sake of comedy; it’s Dakota. In this episode, Dakota has no problem just running away and letting Cavendish get attacked by the bull ! And it’s the same thing in “Disco Do-Over”. When Cav tries to sneak into the garden and gets attacked, Dakota just panics and runs away ! I swear the first time I saw this I was like “Excuse me ?!”. Because you’re telling me that Vinnie “sacrificing himself over and over again with no regrets for Cavendish” Dakota is now ditching Cav in situations he finds dangerous in order to save himself ???

I’m sorry but it pisses me off. It might just be me overreacting but seeing two characters whose main strength in the story was their banter now interacting less and getting hurt more, with one of them going against everything he did in the first season; this just angers me. And so when I watch season 2, I tend to skip most parts of the B plot (which makes me watch like 1 min of episode for “Lady Krillers” because the A plot is very meh. “Disco Do-Over” has an adorable A plot tho).

And last note about these plots, I didn’t mention “Field of Screams” and “Managing Murphy’s law” because I tend to forget about the first one that I find pretty meh (the entire episode, not just the B plot) and the second one has a B plot based on cringy humor and I’m not really into it, though I do really like hearing Jeremy getting more and more tired of Dakota and the hug at the end is such a cute and underrated Dakavendish moment. Also Dakota makes a dad joke near the beginning and I absolutely adore that.

I also didn’t mention “Freefall” because it’s fine. Dakota is being Dakota (and I adore this dork), we start to see Cav get genuinely angry about his job which sets the root for the second half of the season, there’s one scene in which the two are clearly very bored and for some reason it makes me laugh, and the action scene is fine (also damn Cavendish knows how to fly a plane !). But I find “Freefall” to be a good episode in general so yeah.

3. Zack and Melissa

 First thing first : I have nothing against the ship itself. I’m not a big shipper when it comes to child/teens characters but I completely understand why people ship them, and I agree that they have personalities that mix well together. And honestly, this point is probably my most minor complain.

That being said, I do believe that their relationship has basically no development. Or at least, if you compare them to other couples in the Dwampyverse. Because thing is, Dwampy tend to have pretty high standards when it comes to couples. I mean, if we look at every canon couple + a few fanon (aka “here’s my need to infodump about random stuff nobody cares about”. This part will be in italics so, if you want to skip it, you can see where it ends) :

- Phineas and Isabella : since the first episode, we see that Isabella is attracted to Phineas. And throughout the entire show, these two are always willing to help the other, with Isabella always wishing to help in any way she can with the project of the day and Phineas always wanting to make the best projects when it comes to Isabella (just look at how he gets upset in her birthday episode when the finale doesn’t go according to plan). So yeah, they’re two kids in love with a very sweet friendship that you know will evolve into a relationship once they get older and understand relationships better.

- Ferb and Vanessa : Ignoring “Act your Age”, this is the usual trope of a young kid falling in love with an older person. And just like with Phina/bella, it’s made clear that Ferb likes Vanessa and is willing to do anything for her.

- Candace and Jeremy : Same kind of relationships. Candace is clearly head-over-heels for him, Jeremy often gives her presents since the beginning of the show and overall is always patient and understanding to her. It’s very sweet and it’s satisfying to see them get together and know that they will stay that way.

- Linda and Lawrence : While we don’t see much of them, it’s made clear when they’re together that they genuinely love each other. Same for their respective parents.

- Vanessa and Monty : A very organic relationship. It’s two teens who find each other attractive and, after randomly finding each other in the same place, decide to talk and learn more about each other, eventually deciding to start dating. It’s pretty sweet.

- Sara and Neal : These two are just fucking adorable ! They’re two awkward nerds in love and the episode when they get together really plays onto this and it’s the most adorable thing. And while we don’t see much of them, at the beginning of “Love Toboggan”, it’s made clear that the two have seen each other enough for their respective families to know that they like each other.

- Amanda and Milo : Another duo of cuties. The idea of a relationship between them is hinted very early, in “Smooth Opera-tor” in which we see that Milo likes her. And throughout the show, we see them getting closer as Amanda learns to accept Murphy’s law and becomes a genuine friend to Milo. We also see that Milo really likes her and is always willing to help her in any way he can.

- Brigette and Martin : Probably the most underrated characters of the show. I simply adore these two ! They’re just really wholesome people, especially Brigette. She knew full well what she was getting into when she decided to marry into the Murphy family and it’s clear that she doesn’t have a single regret. Like the Flynn-Fletcher parents, they aren’t around that much but when they do you can tell they love each other.

And for some fanon ships :

- Buford and Baljeet : Basically an enemy to friends to lover trope. They start off as bully and nerd but, the more time they spend with Phineas and co, the more Buford shows off his sensitive side and learns more to respect Baljeet’s boundaries while Baljeet learns to stand up for himself. And by the end of the show, the two are genuinely close. Heck, even in “Act Your Age”, despite the canon ships, there’s one scene in which the guys tell Phineas that “guys don’t talk about their feelings”. After they say that, there’s an awkward silence and at the end of it you can see Buford and Baljeet look at each other before looking away with a sad expression, as if they did have feelings for each other but never talked about it because of the “boys don’t talk feelings” thing (which, in real life, is complete bullshit. Let men be emotive, dammit !). But yeah, these two have a friendship that grows over the show and is sometimes teased as if something else was going on there.

- Heinz and Perry : Fun fact : when I became an adult and started getting back into the show, I couldn’t help but laugh as I started to ship it because this is such a crackship on paper ! Also, everything related to Peter the Panda, especially “Time Out” and “Lost in Danville” is fucking hilarious because of how ridiculous it is. I love the Dwampyverse ! (and I just realized that I didn’t talk about the humans/objects canon couples but given that only one person can evolve in these relationships…yeah)

But looking at the show and the books, yeah, these two are like two people thrown into an arranged marriage and having to figure everything out. Even if they start off as enemies, they eventually get accustomed to each other, to the point of being each other’s most important person. We really feel it in season 4. In a lot of ways, these two are a lot like Buford and Baljeet (which a lot of people had already pointed out).

- Candace and Vanessa : This one is mostly based on how much Candace admires Vanessa in “Night of the Living Pharmacist” and honestly, it’s pretty alright. I can definitely see why people ship it as there’s definitely some material there and there with Candace trying to impress Vanessa and look cool in front of her.

- Cavendish and Dakota : Act like an old married couple 24/7 ; often have physical contact and never react to it, showing that it’s normal to them and that they’re very comfortable with each other, almost to the point of having no notion of personal space when it comes to each other ; call each other “partners” most of the time ; have known each other for at least 10 years given Cavendish’s change in appearance from “First Impressions” to ‘now’ ; have to share a room most of the time due to their work ; are compared to Perry and Heinz, aka Dan’s favorite fan ship (or at least it seems to be) ; would die for each other and are willing to do anything to keep their relationship going, including stopping a “break up” (Dakota’s words). What else is there to say ?

  So looking at all these relationships, including the fanon ones, it’s pretty clear that Dan and Swampy like to give out tons of shipping material. But Zack and Melissa ? They act like friends for most of the show. In season 1, the only episode that’s really shippy is “The Math Book” with how they play off of each other.

The saddest part with this relationship for the shippers is that in the PnF crossover, we start to get hints that they might be a couple, only for them to keep the exact same dynamic as season one up until the very last episode of season 2 in which suddenly they act like a couple most of the time. And before you point out “Escape”, it’s probably just me but the way Melissa tells Milo to hurry because “It starts to seem like a date”, followed by Zack saying “You wish” in such a neutral tone gives off the impression that they don’t want it to be a date. So yeah, by the end of the day, it feels like they only got together because 1. Disney likes straight people and 2. They’re the hero’s best friends.

Seriously, on youtube, there’s a video that’s a Zalis//sa compilation, and not only is the video only 6 minutes long, but most of these moments could come off as two friends acting like two friends. And for the video length : reminder that there’s a Milan//da video from the same person that’s 17 minutes long, Amanda being a character that appears like ten times less than Zack and Melissa; and there are also two Daka//vendish videos, both 10 minutes long each, and they barely cover like 1/3 of the episodes the duo show up in. Seriously, a fanon ship has a hundred more shipping material than a canon ship ! Honestly, Zalis//sa shippers were robbed.

I think the only other ship that has that little development (and by that I mean way less development) among major characters is the one between Baljeet and Ginger. Honestly for this ship : Ginger shows that she’s interested and it’s taken as a joke in season 1; in the bees episode, Ginger listens to Baljeet and, while Baljeet is happy that she’s listening, he’s mostly happy that someone is listening, regardless of who it is. Then we see them dance a few times in the background, including in a Halloween episode in which Buford and Baljeet were sharing a costume and, as Baljeet and Ginger start to dance, we have a shot of Buford not looking happy about this. And yet somehow they became a canon couple.

With this forced ship, I tend to accuse Disney being homophobic and refusing Buford and Baljeet to be both single at the end of the show (seriously Disney seems to be so homophobic that they allowed couples between humans and objects but refused any gay couple. At least they seem to have started to be more accepting with recent shows from what I’ve seen).

4. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

So I know it’s been talked about but it’s still a major point in this season so I have to talk about it. So : in Phineas and Ferb, Heinz is a motivated inventor who was able to make inators that worked, though his poor planning and some of his ideas often got the best of him. But overall, he was just a nice guy with a certain genius and who was trying to cope with his childhood trauma in the only ways he knew. He’s also one of the best fathers in all of animation, especially given how much baggage he has, but that’s not the topic here.

Then, when Dwampy made “The O.W.C.A. Files”, they decided to change Heinz’s personality. Suddenly, he was a complete klutz who’s can’t do anything right and just pisses people off. And when they made MML, they kept this personality trait. It also doesn’t help that quite a lot of focus is put on him, which renders him even more annoying. I won’t develop much on his flaws because, again, others already did before. Instead, since so many people already talked about what was wrong with Doof in this show, I actually want to talk about the good moments that Heinz has in MML.

So, to cite a few : First off, the PnF crossover. Yes he does mess up his time machine with orange juice but that’s like his only mistake. Overall, he’s seen to be a great inventor who quickly understands the Pistachions’ weakness after spilling juice on a plant and immediately creates a plan around it. And speaking of which, I also really like how, when he meets the group at the beginning and is told to be a hero, he asks “What do you base your assumption on ?” (not a direct quote), which really shows that yes, he’s a scientist who thinks like one.

The moments where he butts head with Cavendish are also pretty good, especially with how what he says is only the truth : he’s not Professor Time, he’s just some random inventor, and Cavendish feeling so much deception is his own fault for idolizing someone. Thinking about it, it might actually be the only moments in the show in which he’s seen as more mature than another major character.

And overall, he’s just his PnF self in this episode. Like, there’s also how he talks to Diogee and, later, when Milo puts some pressure on him by reminding him of the stakes, he goes “I’m going to go back to talk to the dog”.

As for some other good appearances : “Spy Little Sister” has Heinz show up for a very little and it really works with making him a lot like how he was in PnF (honestly the lightbulb accident seems like something he’ll do in PnF. Heck, in the first part of the episode, he reminds me of how he is in “Doof 101”, episode in which the problems are caused by the annoying bugs and not him).

“Disco Do-Over” does a clever use of the “I am a superstar” video, though Heinz is a bit obnoxious in this episode.

The season 2 finale has Heinz once again act like a scientist when he asks the Octalian about shape-shifting.

Finally, I really like the friendship between him and Dakota. The two are definitely bad for each other and that’s what makes their interactions interesting. Though, I would have loved to see some time spent on pointing out the fact that Dakota grew up seeing Heinz as a hero. And on that same note, I would have loved to see a bit more of Cavendish interacting with Heinz, especially after Heinz and Dakota became “friends” (the last episodes give off the feeling that now that they made up with their respective partner, they aren’t going to hang out with each other).

So yeah, Heinz does have his moments in which he works pretty well. But most of these moments are in episodes in which he’s a minor character. When the show starts to focus more on him, he’s just annoying and immature, which is really sad given how great he was in PnF.

5. The humor

 Now it’s time to get the claws out. Seriously, this part was meant to be short but I can tell from what my brain has in mind that I’m going to give a long rant. To be honest this wasn’t even really supposed to be a big thing to point out, like I could’ve put this at the end with the other “minor complains”. But one thing pisses me off so it’s now its own part.

So to make things clear first : when I talk about the humor, I’m talking about one kind of joke that the show has done since season 1 but that feels off in season 2. I’m talking about the jokes that go on for a while, sometimes too long; especially too long in season 2.

I think a good example of a long joke made right is in “Party of Peril”, when we have to watch Elliot get attacked by a duck for like 50 seconds. It’s a joke that probably goes on for too long but let’s be honest it’s hilarious, along with creating the recurring joke of ducks hating Elliot.

In season 2, they kept trying to make these kinds of jokes there and there; but for some reason it doesn’t really work. I have two examples : the first one is in “Teacher’s Feature” in which we spend 20 seconds on Scott dancing in a cringy way while the kids comment on it. And I swear as I’m writing that I’m considering checking the length because it feels like 40 seconds, not 20, and that’s the problem. Watching the scene, they could have easily cut out 5 seconds of him dancing with music to go directly to the part where there’s no music but he keeps going. Seriously. They definitely could have made this joke shorter.

But the worst to me, the absolute worst, is in “Cavendish Unleashed”. OOOH BOY the fucking waste they did there.

So in this episode, there’s a joke that plays out 3 times, two times the same way and a third time with a slight difference. The joke is about people wanting to sign a paper to destroy then protect the forest, only to get crushed by the alien and being unable to use their hand. To put it simply, this joke is boring. It doesn’t even feel like a joke ! It’s just 15 then another 15 and then a whole 20 seconds (more or less) wasted on this shit. And I swear I also want to go check the length because I remember that when I first saw the episode, the third joke felt like it went on for two minutes. It’s not fun, it’s just boring.

But what’s the problem with that ? Simple : the ending of the episode. At the end of the episode, Cavendish talks with the main trio, learns that Milo was the abductee and then tells the teens to leave. And they just leave, asking no questions whatsoever. Like hello ???? Cavendish has been missing for days, maybe weeks ??? Dakota is desperate to find him ??? Haven’t Dakota told the kids that Cavendish was missing ??? Hadn’t they noticed during “Cast Party” and even before or after that Dakota wasn’t with Cavendish anymore ??? WHY IS NOBODY ASKING QUESTIONS ???? Why didn’t the kids go like “Oh yeah, we saw Cavendish today” to Dakota ??? Why waiting DAYS before telling him ??? Hell, in “Escape”, he talks about finding Cavendish like the kids knew ! So what the hell was that all about ?!

Seriously. Would it have been too hard to remove that dumb recurring joke and instead have an angsty scene in which Milo points out that Cavendish is considered missing, only for Cav to feel bad about it, making us feel for him, and then tell the kids that he’s doing what he believes is for the best and then ask them to keep it a secret from Dakota ? How come the only time we see Cav feel bad about leaving is in a fan animation ?

This seriously pisses me off. The whole arc about Cavendish going rogue could have been one of my favorites. We could’ve seen him struggle to live, think about what he’s doing and why, feel homesick or missing Dakota and the others. Hell, he’s been stuck alone and conscious in an ice cube for who knows how long, so why did he never take the time to reflect during that time ? And yes he was conscious. When he gets trapped, his eyes move and when he’s saved, he’s able to protect his face the very moment the ice break, showing that he was well-aware of Dakota breaking the cube.

But no. Instead, this arc spends like 30% of its screen time on Cavendish doing a Candace-like joke about trying to show the ship and 70% of the screen-time on Dakota sulking. And in the last episode, there’s a scene in which Cav complains about Octalia, only to be remembered that he can save the planet; and then he goes on a rant about how he’s going to be the hero of Octalia, showing that he didn’t learn a fucking thing from his arc.

This pisses me off. This really pisses me off. No wonder I wrote like 5 oneshots around that arc. I need to get that “Cavendish is struggling” angst juice one way or another.

And speaking of bad arcs…

6. Zack’s plot

 So in the first episode of the season (not counting the crossover), the characters talk about how Zack is a coward who tries to get over his fears. Ok so first question : since when is Zack considered a coward ? I mean, he’s very cautious when it comes to Murphy’s law, yes, but being cautious is not the same as being a coward. Besides, Murphy’s law is dangerous. And for most of the episodes, his reactions are the same as Melissa and Milo, when Milo gets scared. As for his fear of fish, anyone can have these kinds of irrational fears. Also there’s the Halloween episode in which it’s made clear that he doesn’t have much fears aside from the fear of dying from the unpredictable, hence his usual resentment with Murphy’s law.

It’s also worth mentioning that MML follows the trope of having a group with two guys and one girl; with one guy being the main character, the girl being the smart one and the second guy being the coward or the forgettable one in certain shows. I think this might be one of the reasons why there’s this idea that Zack is a coward.

But aside from the fact that, in my personal opinion, this plot comes out of nowhere, there’s also the problem that we barely see it at all. I mean, in “Snow Way out”, it’s put into the story. Then they completely forget about it and Zack goes back to act chill and cautious until “Freefall” whose entire plot revolves around Zack being fearful (again, rightfully fearful given the situation). Then it’s dropped again until “The Mid-Afternoon Snack Club” with the idea that Zack feels overshadowed by Milo (which, honestly, sounds like a more interesting arc than the whole fear thing). And finally, it’s dropped yet again until the very last episode in which they keep insisting that he has no fear anymore.

Seriously, am I the only one seeing this ? Or am I just bad at noticing the character growth ?

7. Smaller pet peeves

 So that last point is a list of small things that bother me in this season but that I don’t see myself write 10 paragraphs about :

- Most of the supporting cast needed more screentime. Seriously, characters like Neal and Veronica basically don’t exist this season, Sara also has a much more minor role, Bradley desperately needs some kind of character arc, most of the school characters and staff are also pretty absent (we miss you Drako !), Brick and Savannah only appear twice, once being a cameo in front of a pistachio cart,  and I’m sure there’s more that I forgot.

- A very personal opinion so it’s not really a pet peeve but time travel was much more interesting than aliens, though the plots were pretty similar with the people involved trying to get to Milo, only for Murphy’s law to occur and ruin their plan. Also, while I really like the captain/leader, the two guys sent to capture Milo are your usual comedic duo, like the two small devils in Disney’s Hercules (I don’t know their name in English, I only know that they’re named “Peur” and “Panique” in French).

And fun fact, “Spy Little Sister” is probably my favorite episode of the season, and while watching it, I really had a feeling of “god I missed that” when time-travel occurred. Though, I’ll admit, the aliens plot does a much better job using Murphy’s law, not only with the aliens failing constantly because of it but also especially in the finale with each character having their own backpack to “fight against it”.

- Bob Block. There was some potential with that character (*cough* villain *cough*). Though, I won’t develop here because I already did at the beginning of another post.

- The episode “Game Night” is weird to me. Like, it’s not a bad episode, on the contrary it’s a great one, but at the same time I find myself not liking it. I think the main problem is that it should’ve been a season 1 episode due to the whole thing with the deadly vortex and how Cavendish and Dakota somehow knew what it was. Also I feel like there’s a waste of characters. I mean, we get the Murphy parents, Neal and Cav and Dakota and yet it feels like the episode is mostly focused on the main trio + Sara. Also Veronica was robbed. They could have easily removed the whole vortex thing, hence removing Cavendish and Dakota from the story, and have Veronica with the group instead. Look I love the two time-travelling idiots but other characters deserve some spotlight too.

Besides, thinking about it, it’s a bit sad that Cavendish and Dakota don’t really interact with the others when they’re on screen. There’s like 5 people in the room and yet we either see them talk to each other or to the group in general (though to be honest this disconnect between characters even when they’re in the same room is also in the crossover and the season 2 finale).

So yeah, this episode is weird. It has tons of elements that should make me love it (the Murphy parents; Neal; Melissa being Melissa; Dakota being Dakota; some Daka//vendish, including a 3 seconds argument that has some of the biggest “old married couple” energy we’ve seen in this show; Milo and Sara being overly dramatic babies; the Veronica cameo). And yet, I somehow can’t find myself really liking it. It’s weird.

  So, overall, it was still a pretty good and solid season. Most episodes were pretty fun and enjoyable. But they were still a lot of small issues that, in my opinion, makes season 1 much better; and when I decide to watch random moments of the show or watch full episodes, I tend to mostly pick in that first season.

[chenziee]

Snacks before Cake

[Read on AO3 or below the cut]

Ship: Law/Luffy

Words: 1406

Summary: Trafalgar Law wasn’t ready for what was waiting for him in his apartment on a certain November afternoon.

He had expected to find his boyfriend waiting for him so they could relax a bit before getting ready to leave for their friend’s birthday party. He wrapping paper everywhere, maybe even clothes on the floor from where Luffy tried to pick out their outfits. What he hadn’t expected was the mountain of colourful boxes on the coffee table.

AKA your regularly scheduled last minute Pocky Day fic.

-------------

Trafalgar Law wasn’t ready for what was waiting for him in his apartment on a certain November afternoon.

He had expected to find his boyfriend waiting for him so they could relax a bit before getting ready to leave for their friend’s birthday party. He had expected to find wrapping paper everywhere, maybe even clothes on the floor from where Luffy had tried to pick out their outfits. What he hadn’t expected was the mountain of colourful boxes on the coffee table.

“Luffy-ya, what the hell?” Law asked, voice flat as he dropped his bag on the floor next to the couch his boyfriend was sitting on.

“Oh! Hi, Torao!” Luffy paused his game and let his head fall back to look at Law behind him, a wide grin on his face, a stick covered in green chocolate held safely in between his teeth.

Law huffed at the sight of him craning his neck back at an angle that shouldn’t be humanly possible, before he caved in and leaned down to press a quick, upside-down kiss to the corner of Luffy’s mouth. Only the corner because fuck if he was sharing half-eaten food with anyone, even if the other person was his boyfriend. “So what’s with all the Pocky?” he asked once they pulled away.

“It’s Pocky Day,” Luffy stated, looking at Law as if he was stupid for asking the obvious.

Blinking, Law looked pointedly at the coffee table, doing a quick count. “Twelve boxes. Because of Pocky Day.”

Luffy’s cheeks puffed up. “I know. It’s so little—” he paused to gulp down the rest of the sweet stick in his mouth— “but with the birthday party, I forgot to stock up.”

Law took a deep breath, wondering why he was even surprised; it wasn’t like Luffy didn’t eat constantly even without any food related holiday. But twelve boxes? “You’re going to get sick,” Law noted off-handedly, finally walking around the couch to join Luffy.

“I don’t get sick,” Luffy announced proudly, as if having a stomach of steel and terrible eating habits was something to gloat about.

This idiot was seriously ridiculous. Law was glad he wasn’t his doctor. Hoped he wouldn’t be his doctor—although, at the rate he was going, Luffy was asking for heart problems a few years down the road. But no matter how many times Law would try to scold him or try to get him to eat better, Luffy was stubborn and absolutely refused.

He wasn’t above throwing Law’s caffeine addiction in his face either, so Law eventually gave up.

“Are you planning to finish all that before we have to leave for Zoro-ya’s party or…?” Law asked conversationally when Luffy reached for a new box.

Law automatically put his arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders when he scooted over, pink box in one hand, video game controller in the other. “Torao, are you underestimating me?” Luffy shot back in return, a snicker accompanying his words.

Shaking his head, Law wondered why he even asked. Of course Luffy was planning on eating it all in under the hour they had left, and probably also eating everything Sanji was going to bring to the party. He made a mental note to try to save enough of the cake so that the birthday boy would get at least a slice. Nami really knew what she was doing when she forbade them from helping with the preparations and Law had to wonder how many parties his boyfriend had managed to ruin before he and his friends even started high school.

Suddenly, something nudged at his mouth and Law looked down, coming face to face with Luffy’s bright eyes, his mouth stretched in a grin around a new Pocky stick, which he was sucking on like a complete savage. Law would never understand what was so fun about licking the chocolate off until the biscuit was all soggy and then gulping the entire thing down because what was the point if you weren’t going to snap it? Why was this man like this, and why did Law tolerate it? It was honestly probably because the barbarian was so cute while doing inhumane things like biting into whole KitKats and sucking on Pocky—and because Law was weak.

Always weak to those eyes.

“Why are you poking me with a Pocky?” Law asked finally, pulling away a little bit in an effort to stop the incessant prodding.

Luffy cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows furrowing together slightly in confusion when he replied, “Don’t you want one?”

Law’s eyes slid down to eye the pink stick that was still hovering uncomfortably close and made a face. Fucking strawberry. “No, but thanks,” he refused simply, stopping himself from saying anything more. God knew he ranted about artificial strawberry anything more than enough on the regular.

“Oh right!” Luffy cried a split second later, slapping his forehead. “Sorry, I always forget you’re weird.”

Law scowled. The person who couldn’t even eat chocolate on a stick properly had no right to tell him he was weird for disliking a flavour, no matter how widely popular said flavour might be. But before he could so much a click his tongue at his so-called boyfriend, Luffy moved away from him and towards his Pocky pile, putting the strawberry flavour aside in favour of taking one of the other boxes out and returning to Law’s side.

“Sorry, I ate all the matcha—” Luffy apologized when he settled under Law’s arm again, ripping the box open— “but I still have blueberry!” There was a wide, triumphant grin on his face when he pulled out the thicker, light purple stick and shoved it in front of Law’s face.

Law chuckled at Luffy’s enthusiasm before he looked him straight in the eyes and leaned forward, slowly licking his lips; he took great pleasure in the way Luffy’s eyes stared transfixed at his mouth, and he had to stop himself from smirking and ruining the show too early. He waited until he saw Luffy gulp in response to the way his teeth closed around the Pocky stick gently, and then… he quickly broke the stick, the beautiful, satisfying snap of it breaking Luffy from his reverie.

Law would never get tired of how quickly Luffy could go from happy to flustred, or how amazingly bright his blush was. It was incredibly rare to see Luffy either flail or blush, which made the experience all the more gratifying, and Law didn’t bother to try to stifle the laugh that forced its way out of his chest.

He was just so adorable, especially the way he pouted over Law’s amusement while folding his arms over his chest. Luffy was probably trying to look upset and reprimanding but he only managed to look like a puppy who was upset over not getting a treat. Law’s smirk only widened at the thought, and he couldn’t resist ruffling Luffy’s hair.

The way the younger man leaned into his touch was pretty puppy like, too.

He wondered what would happen if he voiced his thoughts, whether Luffy would growl at him or if he would whine, but he resisted the temptation. He could tease Luffy more later when they didn’t have a birthday party to attend. And so, he only pulled Luffy a little bit closer, pressing a quick, little kiss to his temple.

“Don’t tease me,” Luffy grumbled but seemed to melt at the brief touch, relaxing into Law’s side as he put the rest of the half-eaten blueberry Pocky into his mouth. “You know you’re the only person I share food with.”

Law felt a genuine, soft smile pull at his lips. That was probably as close to a declaration of love as Luffy would ever get and Law would be lying if he said it didn’t make him happy, didn’t make butterflies go crazy in his stomach, as cheesy as it sounded.

“And you’re the only person I let hand feed me their food,” Law mumbled back, and goddamn it, now he was the one blushing.

These indirect confessions were seriously more embarrassing then simply saying ‘I love you’ but… the smile he got in return was worth it. Was worth any cheesy and embarrassing sentence; this man really had him wrapped around his little finger but Law couldn’t say he cared.

He truly loved this idiot, bright smiles and a mountain of Pocky and all.

[skylarmoon71]

Rafael Barba Imagine (Extra)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Law and Order SVU. 

“Sometimes I wonder how he’s still alive.” Carisi jokes. He and Rollins just got back from court after watching Rafael in his natural habitat. From what you heard he was going at the criminal with all he had. He walked in too, with Olivia on his trail. “The case is strong, and we have enough to put him at the scene. We’ll nail this son of a bitch. He won’t hurt another woman again. “ 

His assurance was all Olivia really needed. She knew where Barba’s priorities were and he always fought for justice for the victim. That was probably one of the main reasons that you liked him. His undying sense of justice. One thing instilled in you was not to trust anyone. At least in your eyes, anyone could do bad things. A mother, close friend, even a sibling. Most of the time when you caught the perp you were shocked at who the suspect turned out to be. That’s why with Barba, you were thankful for him. No matter what the situation, you knew Barba was someone you would never have to worry about doing something like that. 

Your gaze moved back to your desk, relieved that another psycho was getting what he deserved. “Why don’t we go out tonight. This case is pretty much wrapped up. “ Rollins pitched in. Carisi jumped up almost immediately. “I’m in.” he basically shouted. You giggled. 

“Me too, got nothing better to do.” Fin added. 

“What about you (Y/N)?” you blinked. Your eyes moved in Barba’s direction before pitching back.

“I-I’m fine. Think I’ll just call it a night. Catch up on some sleep. “ Rollins snorted, seeing right through you. She walked closer leaning in. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You got a little boyfriend don’t you?” her statement made you tense. You and Barba just started dating, and you didn’t want anyone to know about it. That’s why you were always cautious in your interactions. 

“I-I have no idea what you mean.” you denied. She just smiled. You were grateful she didn’t voice her thoughts out loud, because you didn’t want the entire team discussing your love life. Olivia came running out with her phone clutched to the side of her face. “Carisi, Rollins get to the school, Fin, (Y/N) come with me!” you didn’t even need an explanation. You grabbed your coat, swerving around your chair as you paced out the door with her. 

~~~

When you got back to the precinct you were exhausted. The suspect had taken the witness hostage, with intention to kill. Liv was fortunate she’d gotten a call from the school when she did, otherwise the outcome would have been far worse. He was now successfully in police custody, another charge added to his already high list. He was looking at 25 to life in prison. 

“Another full day.” you sighed dropping into your chair. Rollins and the others already left to the bar. If you were being honest, now you really weren’t in the mood to drink. The sight of that boy almost being shot never left your mind.

“Rough day.” a voice said next to you. Your eyes opened, looking over at lime green ones. “You have no idea.” Barba chuckled, taking a seat at your desk. 

“I know this job can get to you sometimes. I forget sometimes that you’re still pretty new to this. You should find someone to talk to about your day. It’s not good to keep it bottled up.” you nodded. 

“I have been chatting with someone. Liv gave me a number last time. When that guy took me hostage. It’s just something about being held at gunpoint that never really leaves you. “ Barba didn’t say much after that, just leaned over placing a hand on your knee. You smiled at the gesture, sitting up. 

“If you ever need to talk, I’m right here. I think you of all people should know how good I am with words. “ that made you laugh. “Rafael Barba, the king of communication.” he smirked. “At your service.” His presence really did help though. Despite his sharp tongue, his heart was always in the right place. There was just something about him. No matter how many times he said things to make you want to punch him sometimes, he was just so dang charming. Not to mention caring. You could see the genuine worry reflected in his eyes. He knew what this job did to people. 

“I know it gets hard, I just hope that no matter how much scumbags we take down, that you’ll never lose that light in you. “ You raised an eyebrow. 

“Really I have a light in me?” It sounded kind of cheesy, you were about to point that out to him but he stopped you. 

“Yes, and I am aware how cheesy that sounds. Before you tear me down hear me out. “ you closed your mouth with a smile. “Very well, proceed counselor. “ He grinned. 

“You’re the youngest, so I believe it's natural for you to be naive. But you’re actually the most realistic one on this team. When you first joined I thought you’d be making rookie mistakes. Similar to what Carisi did. He always assumed that certain circumstances would make a case solid. He’s studying law so I guess it’s understandable for him to have so much faith in the law. But that’s not how these cases usually turn out.” you sat there listening as he continued. 

“You don’t see the world that way though. Your eyes reflect hope, but also a tinge of maturity in ways that I’ve seen before. Your life growing up must have been hard, the level of knowledge and growth in your eyes is close to what I’ve seen from Liv. You have a general understanding of how the world is, something very uncommon for women your age. “ You were alarmed at how well he was reading you. For a second you swore maybe he was just moon lancing as an ADA and was secretly a profiler.

 “How do you..”

“I’m good at my job (Y/N).” Yep, there it was, that tongue. 

“That being said, there is also an innocence that does reflect your age. Maybe it’s the way your eyes sparkle when Carisi brings in your favorite pizza, or the adorable way your cheeks flush whenever I give you a compliment, or kiss your deliciously soft lips..” 

That statement was said a little lower. You blushed, as if proving his statement. He was right though. No matter how many times he kissed you, you’d always get a little bashful. You couldn’t help it. At heart you were still very much the shy rookie of NYPD’s Special Victims Unit. He leaned closer, face barely inches apart. You actively swallowed, wanting nothing more than him to lean in and claim your lips. From the look in his eyes, he was thinking the same. Your breathing got a little shallow at the lack of space between you. 

“I have faith that this job will not affect you in the ways you think. Trust me (Y/N).” he gave your knee another little pat before standing. 

“Well, get some rest, we’ll probably have a busy day tomorrow. “ And just like that he was padding over to his office. You just watched him strut off all confident. You pressed a hand to your face to try and calm your insistent heart beat. Once again Barba had won another case. You were sure he was smirking to himself in his office. 

~~~

Rollins walked in the next morning laughing at something Carisi whispered to her. You looked up at their voices. “Hey rookie, how was your quiet night. “ you grumbled at the nickname.

“Come on Amanda I’ve been here for at least five months. I think the rookie thing is getting old. “ 

“Please, I’m still the new guy around here.” Carisi chipped in. 

“It has to be the accent.” you spoke. He just gave you a look. 

“Very funny (Y/N).” you shrugged. 

“Just saying, that Staten Island drawl does get to you.” you teased. You turned not really paying attention to what was in front of you. You ran right into someone. Said person grabbed you by the shoulder to prevent a very ungraceful fall. You looked up to thank the person and also apologize. 

The words got stuck in your throat when you realized it was Barba. His hands were still on you. “Uhhh I-I uhhh..” you couldn’t form words. This was the closest the two of you ever were at work. You knew you should have maybe pulled away. You didn’t want your colleagues catching wind of anything. You finally willed yourself to pull back, straightening your clothes. 

“S-Sorry counselor.”  Your cheeks were darker than they’ve ever been. When you collected yourself you noticed a cup of coffee spilled on the ground. Carisi and Rollins were in the background trying to keep it together, especially at the look on your face. 

“Oh my gosh I dropped your coffee. I’ll get you another one immediately sir.” you just took off, completely mortified. Barba stared at your retreating form. A smile threatened to show but he held it back, settling for what he hoped was a stare of annoyance. “Rookies. “ he spoke and Carisi agreed with a nod. 

“Tell me about it.” he chuckled. 

~~

You stepped into Barba’s office with his coffee. After that very embarrassing situation, you felt like this was the only way to redeem yourself. When he saw you his eyes twinkled. 

“Oh, came to replace my poor drink. Frapa did not deserve such a death.” you glared. 

“Can it, it was bad enough basically the entire precinct saw me crash into you, after almost faceplanting. Don’t you think my ego has taken enough hits today.” 

You placed the caffeinated drink on his desk, turning to leave. Barba stood, grabbing your hand before you could go. You looked back at him in confusion and alarm. 

“W-What are you doing, someone could see u-” that particular statement didn’t have a chance to properly form. Barba pulled you forward. His lips meeting yours in a heated desperation. You tensed at the beginning, until he started nibbling on your lower lip. You submitted, body enjoying the way his tongue mapped every inch of your mouth on entry. Of course he wasn’t just good at law. This guy was just a walking ball of masculinity and frigging dominance. It drove you crazy. You were gripping at the back of his shirt as he ravished your mouth. When his lips left your own you were panting. Chest still actively pressed to him. The both of you were breathing erratically. 

“Sabes bien..” Sometimes you forgot he spoke Spanish. You didn’t even know what he said, but damn it was sexy. A pleasant shiver ran up your spine. 

“I should knock your coffee over more often.” he laughed, and so did you. 

“Definitely.” Barba agreed. 

Translation: Sabes bien- you taste good. (Sorry if this is incorrect, I got it from google translate lol)

[carcino-generic]

HOW HUMANS ARE HAVING THEIR LIVES RUINED BY KARKAT VANTAS

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ALRIGHT, HERE’S THE BASICS OF CAPITALISM FROM A WORKING CLASS AMERICAN. I WANT TO START OUT BY SAYING I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT EUROPE, CANADA, AUSTRALIA, OR ANY OTHER “FIRST-WORLD” COUNTRIES. I DON’T KNOW WHO TORIES ARE AND I DON’T CARE ABOUT EMMANUEL MACRON. FOREIGN AFFAIRS ARE NOT MY CUP OF TEA THANKS. I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITH DOMESTIC POLITICS. ALSO DON’T GET ON MY ASS ABOUT CALLING IT AMERICA INSTEAD OF THE U.S.A., CANADIANS DON’T ACTUALLY WANT TO BE AMERICANS AND IF THEY DO THEY’RE MORONS FOR REASONS THAT WILL BECOME CLEAR AS YOU READ ON. 

YOU KNOW HOW IN A NORMAL SOCIETY, TRADE IS DRIVEN BY RESOURCES AND PRICES ARE DETERMINED BY THE AVAILABILITY, COMPLEXITY, AND DIFFICULTY IN PRODUCTION OF A PRODUCT? SO IMAGINE YOUR COUNTRY GETS ENOUGH MONEY, POWER, AND SHEER BLIND DEVOTION FROM ITS CITIZENS TO THROW ALL THAT IN THE GARBAGE, AND THEN IMAGINE THAT EVERYONE CAPABLE OF MAKING MEANINGFUL CHANGES AT A FUNDAMENTAL LEVEL, WHILE REMAINING WITHIN THE CURRENT SYSTEM, IS OWNED BY SOMEONE WHO BENEFITS EGREGIOUSLY FROM EVERYTHING STAYING THE SAME, AND EVEN MORE EGREGIOUSLY FROM THINGS BECOMING WORSE. NOW IMAGINE THAT WHEN I SAID “SOMEONE” I MEANT “ONE OF MAYBE FIFTEEN MEGA-CORPORATIONS THAT OWNS EVERY OTHER BUSINESS IN THE COUNTRY,” AND WHEN I SAY “EVERYONE CAPABLE OF MAKING MEANINGFUL CHANGES...” I MEAN POLITICIANS WE ELECT TO PRETEND TO REPRESENT OUR INTERESTS WHO HAVE IN REALITY BEEN BOUGHT OUT BY CORPORATE INTERESTS AND RISK LOSING THEIR JOBS IF THEY MAKE LAWS THAT THREATEN THOSE CORPORATE INTERESTS’ BOTTOM LINES. BASICALLY, WE INVESTED ALL OUR POWER INTO PRIVATELY OWNED MONEY SINKS AND FORGOT TO CARE ABOUT THE THINGS THAT MATTER, LIKE THE ACTUAL CITIZENS? OKAY THIS IS GETTING AWAY FROM ME, WE MIGHT HAVE TO START FROM THE BASICS. 

I DON’T KNOW HOW YOUR SOCIETY WORKS, BUT IN OURS, YOU START OUT AS A LITTLE BABY. AS SOON AS YOU’RE PHYSIOLOGICALLY CAPABLE OF EXISTING FOR CONSECUTIVE HOURS WITHOUT THE PEOPLE WHO RAISED YOU, THEY SHOVE YOU IN A CLASSROOM AND START FEEDING YOU A MIXTURE OF COLONIAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, PHILOSOPHICAL, AND POLITICAL PROPAGANDA. THAT’S ALSO WHERE THEY TEACH YOU HOW TO SOCIALIZE WITH KIDS YOUR AGE AND SHIT. FOR SOME KIDS IT’S THE *ONLY* PLACE THEY CAN LEARN TO SOCIALIZE, BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS ARE TOO BUSY, ABSENT, OR PROTECTIVE TO BRING YOU OUT TO INTERACT WITH PEERS. EITHER WAY, THIS IS WHERE KIDS FORM THEIR CONCEPTS OF BOTH PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND SOCIAL CONTRACTS. THE TRAUMA OF RACIAL AND GENDER PROFILING IS NASCENT HERE, BUT OH BOY IT INTERNALIZES QUICKLY. (MORE ON HOW PEOPLE OF COLOR, THE WAR ON DRUGS, AND PROFIT ARE ALL LINKED LATER ON, OR MAYBE JUST LOOK UP A VIDEO ESSAY ON IT IDK.) 

IT’S PRETTY MUCH THIRTEEN YEARS OF THIS SAME SHIT, ESPECIALLY THE PROPAGANDA BIT. KIDS GROW UP BEING INDOCTRINATED WITH THIS COMPLETELY WHITEWASHED VERSION OF REALITY, BELIEVING CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS* IS THE SHIT AND CAPITALISM IS THE ONLY EFFICIENT MODEL FOR MODERN SOCIETY. THEY’RE USUALLY TAUGHT ALL ABOUT WORLD WARS I AND II, THE VIETNAM WAR, THE COLD WAR, AND THE SPACE RACE, WHICH (BY UNEQUIVOCALLY POSING AMERICANS AS THE GOOD GUYS AND THE SOVIETS AND CHINESE AS THE BAD GUYS,  CEMENTS THE CONCEPT THAT CAPITALISM INHERENTLY RULES AND COMMUNISM INHERENTLY FAILS) FURTHER INDOCTRINATES KIDS. IF YOU’RE REALLY AN ALIEN I DOUBT YOU’VE SEEN THIS IMAGE, BUT EVERY SINGLE AMERICAN EARTHLING HAS:

THIS GUY IS NAMED UNCLE SAM, HE’S BASICALLY AMERICA’S FURSONA. HE EXISTS TO PRESSURE YOU INTO SIGNING UP TO FIGHT IN A WAR. HE WAS USED A LOT IN THOSE WARS I TALKED ABOUT UP THERE, ESPECIALLY THE FIRST THREE. HE’S NOT AROUND SO MUCH ANY MORE BUT THE GENERAL SENTIMENT IS. HERE’S HOW. 

WHEN YOU GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL, THE LAST “REQUIRED” STAGE OF SCHOOL, YOU ARE EXPECTED TO MOVE OUT AND GET A JOB TO SUPPORT YOURSELF. BUT NOWADAYS, IF YOU WANT A JOB THAT PAYS FOR YOUR HEALTH CARE, LETS YOU STAY HOME WHEN YOU GET SICK, GIVES YOU DAYS OFF TO GO TO FAMILY EVENTS SUCH AS WEDDINGS, FUNERALS, THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILDREN, AND OTHER UNIMPORTANT DRIVEL THAT DOESN’T MAKE CEOS MONEY, YOU BET YOUR ASS YOU’D BETTER GET A COLLEGE DEGREE. HAVING A DEGREE IS THE NUMBER ONE WAY YOU CAN GUARANTEE THAT YOU MAKE MORE MONEY. THAT ALL SOUNDS FINE AND DANDY, EXCEPT NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY SOME INDUSTRIAL-SCALE LOAN SHARK MORE THAN YOU’LL EVER HAVE IN YOUR 401(K) TO LET YOU GET YOUR HIGHER EDUCATION. A LOT OF PEOPLE END UP OWING UPWARDS OF FIFTY GRAND TO A PRIVATELY OWNED LOAN AGENCY BY THE TIME THEY’RE TWENTY-ONE, BECAUSE AS FRESH ADULTS THEY WERE TOLD THEY WOULDN’T GET A WORTHWHILE JOB UNLESS THEY HAD A DEGREE. BUT HERE’S THE THING: A LOT OF TIMES, JOBS LIKE THAT WON’T EVEN HIRE YOU UNLESS YOU HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE NOW! THAT’S ANOTHER TWO YEARS OF CLASSES AND ANOTHER HUGE CHUNK OF MONEY YOU NEVER HAD TO BEGIN WITH. 

OF COURSE THERE ARE LESS EXPENSIVE OPTIONS, LIKE TRADE SCHOOL AND COMMUNITY COLLEGE. BUT REMEMBER THE PROPAGANDA I MENTIONED? IT’S SO PERVASIVE, A LOT OF YOUNG PEOPLE DON’T EVEN CONSIDER TRADE SCHOOL AN OPTION NOW, BECAUSE WE CULTURALLY VALUE THE “INTELLECTUAL” JOBS—DOCTOR, LAWYER, ENGINEER, ACCOUNTANT, BUSINESSMAN—WHICH ARE STRANGELY ALSO THE CAREER PATHS THAT REQUIRE THE MOST INVESTMENT OF TIME AND MONEY! NOW IF YOU DECIDE TO BE LIKE ME AND GET A JOB RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE THE EDUCATION INDUSTRY IS A PUTRID WASTELAND, YOU’RE AUTOMATICALLY LOOKED DOWN UPON. A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE WHO ARE PURSUING LESS LUCRATIVE CAREERS THAT INTEREST THEM***, INSTEAD OF THE BIG MONEY JOBS, ARE DISPARAGINGLY ASKED IF THEY WANT TO “END UP WORKING AT MCDONALDS.” I DON’T PERSONALLY WORK AT MCDONALDS BUT THIS SHIT STILL OFFENDS ME. BUT THEN AGAIN I’M A MILLENNIAL SNOWFLAKE SO WHAT DO I KNOW. 

ACADEMIA HAS A LOT OF ITS OWN PROBLEMS BUT I’VE ONLY HEARD THOSE SECONDHAND, SO LET’S LEAVE THAT HELLSCAPE TO ITS ELITISM AND STAY WITHIN THE BLUE-COLLAR SUBCLASS. COMMON PARLANCE WILL REFER TO THREE MAJOR CLASSES: THE LOWER CLASS (DIPLOMATICALLY CALLED THE “WORKING CLASS”, HA FUCKING HA!), THE MIDDLE CLASS (WHICH THEORETICALLY MAKES UP THE MAJORITY OF THE POPULATION), AND THE UPPER CLASS (FUCK THOSE GUYS BUT WE’LL GET AROUND TO THAT LATER.) THIS MODEL IS PRETTY MUCH JUST DESIGNED TO CREATE TENSION WITHIN THE PROLETARIAT, BUT HANG ON A SECOND, I JUST REMEMBERED YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE PROLETARIAT IS YET. 

SO BASICALLY, THERE’S NOT THAT MUCH DEFINABLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE “MIDDLE CLASS” AND THE “WORKING CLASS.” WHEN YOU THINK OF WORKING CLASS, COLLOQUIALLY, YOU THINK OF THOSE LOSERS THAT WORK IN THE SERVICE INDUSTRY OR DRIVE TAXIS OR (AND THIS IS INCOMPREHENSIBLE TO SOME PEOPLE) HAVE NO JOB AT ALL. THE MIDDLE CLASS IS MORE LIKE TEACHERS AND MIDDLE MANAGERS AND GUYS THAT BUILD SOFTWARE REMOTELY FOR MICROSOFT. REALLY THOUGH, THERE’S NO WAY TO DRAW A DEFINITIVE LINE BETWEEN THESE PEOPLE. THE BEST WAY TO DEFINE CLASS IN AMERICA, (AND ALSO APPARENTLY GERMANY, AT LEAST IN THE 19TH CENTURY,) IS TO SEPARATE THOSE WHO PRODUCE GOODS AND THOSE WHO OWN THE GOODS THAT ARE PRODUCED. THERE IS NO “MIDDLE CLASS”, THAT’S JUST A MEANINGLESS THING TO STRIVE FOR BASED ON WHAT WHITE FAMILIES IN SITCOMS LOOK AND ACT LIKE. 

WORKERS WHO PRODUCE GOODS AND SERVICES ARE THE BACKBONE OF SOCIETY AND THEY’RE CALLED THE PROLETARIAT. THEY ARE SERVICE WORKERS AND JANITORS AND TAXI DRIVERS AND HOTEL VALETS, BUT THEY ARE ALSO ELECTRICIANS AND PLUMBERS AND MECHANICS, AND THEY ARE LAWYERS AND DOCTORS AND PROFESSORS, AND THEY ARE YOUTUBERS AND INFLUENCERS AND SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS. THE PROLETARIAT IS ANYONE WHO MAKES MONEY BY SELLING THEIR LABOR. THEY CAN BE CONTRACTORS SELLING THEIR LABOR TO INDEPENDENT BUYERS, OR FREELANCERS SELLING THEIR LABOR TO MULTIPLE LARGER BUSINESSES, BUT MOST OF THE PROLETARIAT IS DIRECTLY EMPLOYED BY SOME KIND OF COMPANY OWNED BY A MEMBER OF THE BOURGEOISIE. 

THE BOURGEOISIE IS KIND OF A MEME AT THIS POINT BUT THEIR IMPACT ON THE WAY WE LIVE IS FUCKING INESCAPABLE. THEY’RE PEOPLE WHO *BUY* OUR LABOR, ACCRUE CAPITAL BY SITTING ON THEIR (SOMETIMES LITERAL!!!) THRONES, OWNING COMPANIES AND PEOPLE, SOMETIMES BEING A PUBLIC FIGURE (LIKE ELON MUSK) WHO RAKES IN ADORATION FROM HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF MINDLESS TWITTER DRONES WHO STILL BELIEVE IN CLASS MOBILITY****, OR SOMETIMES BEING A SHADOWY FIGURE IN THE BACKGROUND (LIKE THE KOCH BROTHERS) WHO JUST PASSIVELY RAKE IN THE BENEFITS OF OUR HARD WORK AND CAN’T BE ASSASSINATED BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD RECOGNIZE THEM IF THEY WERE SEEN AT KROGER. THEY ARE USUALLY BORN WEALTHY, BUT VERY RARELY THEY CAN USE THEIR CHARISMA, INTELLIGENCE, SOCIAL CONNECTIONS, AND INTRINSIC PRIVILEGE AS A WHITE PERSON TO YANK THEMSELVES UP FROM THE PROLETARIAT (READ MY CLASS MOBILITY NOTE FOR MORE!!!) 

SO THE RESULT OF THIS CLASS DIVISION IS AS FOLLOWS: 

THE PROLETARIAT NEVER EARNS THE ACTUAL VALUE OF THEIR LABOR. A “SMALL” CHUNK IS ALWAYS TAKEN OUT FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE TOP, WHO “RUN” THE COMPANY (BUT REALLY THEIR JOB IS USUALLY TO EAT FANCY LUNCH AND TELL RACIST GOLF JOKES TO RICH INVESTORS). IN FACT, WAGES ARE USUALLY ENTIRELY DISSOCIATED FROM THE ACTUAL PROFIT THE COMPANY MAKES. FOR A BUSINESS TO BE PROFITABLE, IT HAS TO PAY THE EMPLOYEES IT RELIES ON LESS THAN WHAT THEY BRING TO THE TABLE, WHICH MEANS MOST COMPANIES ESTABLISH A BASE WAGE THAT’S EITHER EXACTLY THE STATE’S MINIMUM WAGE OR A COUPLE CENTS HIGHER TO COMPETE. THEY LITERALLY PAY THE LEAST THEY LEGALLY CAN. SOMETIMES *LESS*.

YOUR JOB IS EXPECTED TO BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE. EXHAUSTED AFTER YOUR FORTY, FIFTY, OR SIXTY HOUR WORK WEEK? THAT’S JUST NORMAL, THEY’RE NOT SQUEEZING THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF LABOR OUT OF YOU THAT THEY CAN WITHOUT KILLING YOU! WANT TO TAKE A FEW DAYS OFF TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR WIFE AFTER SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOUR INFANT CHILD? SORRY, YOU’RE OUT OF SICK DAYS. MISSED THE BUS AND THERE’S NOT ANOTHER ONE FOR AN HOUR? IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR NOT HAVING A CAR OR SPENDING FIFTY BUCKS ON AN UBER. TRYING TO GO TO YOUR FIFTH FAMILY FUNERAL BECAUSE ALL YOUR RELATIVES ARE DROPPING LIKE FLIES AFTER A HARD SIXTY YEARS OF LABOR? OOH, SORRY, YOU ONLY GET FOUR FUNERAL DAYS A YEAR! NEED TO GET ANOTHER JOB BECAUSE YOUR CURRENT ONE DOESN’T PAY ENOUGH? WELL, YOU FORGOT TO DISCLOSE IT TO YOUR BOSS AND THEY FIRED YOU FOR TWO-TIMING THEM! A JOB IS MORE OF A COMMITMENT THAN A SPOUSE, AND IF YOU HAVE OTHER PRIORITIES, YOU WON’T LAST LONG. 

BECAUSE THE BOURGEOISIE OWNS SERVICES THAT SHOULD BE PROVIDED BY THE GOVERNMENT, LIKE HEALTHCARE, HOME AND AUTO INSURANCE, A LOT OF HIGHER EDUCATION ESTABLISHMENTS, CREDIT BUREAUS, LOAN COMPANIES, AND HOSPITALS, PROFIT IS THE MOTIVE THERE TOO! WHICH MEANS IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF INSURANCE, NEED TO BUY A HOUSE OR A CAR, WANT OR NEED AN EDUCATION, ARE CHRONICALLY ILL, OR JUST EXIST ON A GENERAL BASIS, COMPANIES ARE RIPPING YOU OFF. YOU ARE BASICALLY PAYING THOUSANDS A MONTH FOR THE CHANCE TO GET *SOME* OF YOUR MASSIVE HOSPITAL BILL COVERED IF YOU GET IN AN ACCIDENT. THIS ONE IS NEAR AND DEAR TO ME. FOR UNIMPORTANT REASONS, I MANAGE TO RACK UP A LOT OF DEBT EVERY YEAR GOING TO HOSPITALS AND URGENT CARE, CALLING AMBULANCES, PAYING FOR MEDICATION THAT DOESN’T WORK. DID YOU KNOW YOU’RE CHARGED NIGHTLY TO STAY IN HOSPITALS LIKE THEY’RE GODDAMN HOTELS? LIKE IT’S A FUCKING VACATION? AND DID YOU KNOW THE BILLING DEPARTMENTS OF EACH OF THESE PRIVATELY OWNED ESTABLISHMENTS IS MADE UP OF UNDERPAID, OVERSTRESSED MEMBERS OF THE PROLETARIAT WHOSE JOB IS TO FUCK UP YOUR BILL SO YOU OWE MORE THAN YOUR VISIT ACTUALLY COST? 

MEDICAL FACILITIES ARE ALSO PUSHED TO SELL OVERPRICED DRUGS THAT DON’T WORK TO PEOPLE. HEADS UP, GUYS, BUT ANTIBIOTICS DON’T WORK AGAINST VIRAL INFECTIONS, AND YET THEY’RE PRESCRIBED FOR THE FLU AND COMMON COLD EVERY DAY. AND SOMETIMES THE DRUGS DO WORK, BUT THEY’RE STILL OVERPRICED! IF YOU’VE BEEN ON THE INTERNET AT ALL THIS YEAR YOU’LL KNOW ALL ABOUT THE INSULIN CRISIS, WHICH WAS CREATED ARTIFICIALLY. BASICALLY THE PEOPLE WHO OWN INSULIN (YEAH, *OWN* A LIFE-SAVING MEDICATION) RACKED UP THE PRICE SO MUCH THAT PEOPLE COULDN’T FUCKING AFFORD IT ANYMORE, DESPITE A NORMAL DOSE OF INSULIN COSTING LIKE FIFTY CENTS TO MAKE?? OR, HOW ABOUT THIS—THEY INVENTED THIS COOL NEW CHEAP PAIN-RELIEVING DRUG CALLED FENTANYL AND DISCOVERED THEY COULD MAKE A SHIT TON OF MONEY OFF IT, SO DOCTORS PRESCRIBED THE HELL OUT OF IT UNTIL PEOPLE GOT SO ADDICTED TO IT THAT TENS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE DIED OF OVERDOSES. OH, DID I SAY “PRESCRIBED” IN THE PAST TENSE? MY BAD, THEY CONTINUE TO PRESCRIBE IT EVERY SINGLE DAY. IF YOU HAVE CHRONIC PAIN AND ASK DOCTORS NOT TO PUT YOU ON PAIN MEDICATION, A LOT OF TIMES THEY WILL STILL PUT YOU ON PAIN MEDICATION. IF YOU EXPLAIN TO YOUR DOCTOR THAT YOU KICKED A HEROIN ADDICTION AND YOU REALLY WOULD NOT LIKE TO HAVE OPIOIDS PUT IN YOUR BODY, THEY WILL PROBABLY STILL BE LIKE, HUH, SUCKS FOR YOU, AND PUT OPIOIDS IN YOUR BODY. 

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE ANY OF THIS? PERHAPS PETITION YOUR LOCAL POLITICIAN, OR GOD FORBID, STATE CONGRESSMAN, TO PASS A LAW THAT YOU THINK MIGHT IMPROVE YOUR LIFE? WELL, IT TURNS OUT YOU NEED A LOT OF MONEY TO RUN A CAMPAIGN NOWADAYS, AND POLITICIANS ARE ALLOWED TO BE SPONSORED BY BIG BUSINESSES, BECAUSE BUSINESSES ARE PEOPLE. SO IF YOU’RE THE SENATOR OF NEW JERSEY OR WHATEVER, AND YOUR CONSTITUENTS WANT YOU TO VOTE TO RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE, BUT YOUR CAMPAIGN IS OWNED BY WALMART, WHO WANTS TO KEEP PAYING ITS WORKERS ELEVEN BUCKS AN HOUR, YOU HAVE THE CHOICE BETWEEN MAKING A COUPLE LITTLE WORKING CLASS IDIOTS ANGRY OR GETTING ALL YOUR FUNDING FROM WALMART PULLED BECAUSE YOU THREATENED THEIR PROFIT MARGINS. 

NOT ACTIVELY DYING FROM A TREATABLE ILLNESS, WASTING AWAY FROM DRUG ADDICTION, OR ENTRENCHED IN SLAVERY TO A CORPORATION WHOSE PRODUCT YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN? GREAT! DID YOU KNOW THE PLANET WILL BE ON FIRE IN LIKE A FEW DECADES? OIL AND GAS COMPANIES HAVE SO MUCH INFLUENCE OVER THE LAWMAKERS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO PROHIBIT THEM FROM RUINING THE PLANET, THEY’VE PUT THE ONUS OF SAVING IT ON INDIVIDUALS’ SHOULDERS. REDUCE YOUR CARBON EMISSIONS BY TAKING THAT HOURLY BUS (YOU’LL EITHER BE FIFTY MINUTES EARLY TO WORK OR TEN MINUTES LATE!) OR RECYCLING YOUR SHIT (BUT IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOUR MUNICIPALITY CAN’T RECYCLE, THEY’LL THROW THE WHOLE BATCH OUT WHEN YOU PUT TRASH IN) OR TURNING THE LIGHTS OFF IN YOUR HOUSE (JUST EAT DINNER IN THE DARK YOU PIECE OF SHIT) OR INSTALLING SOLAR PANELS ON YOUR HOUSE (FUCK ME FOR RENTING I GUESS?) THERE IS SO MUCH WE CAN DO JUST WHENEVER TO SWITCH TO SUSTAINABLE ENERGY, BUT EXXON AND BP AND SHELL OWN SO MUCH INFLUENCE THAT WE’RE JUST *NOT*, AND LEAVING THIS WASTELAND OF A HOME PLANET TO OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS. BUT AT LEAST ELON MUSK BUILT THIS REALLY COOL LOW-POLY BETHESDA LOOKING PIECE OF SHIT FOR US TO MAKE MEMES ABOUT

HERE’S THE SKINNY OF IT, PEOPLE. THERE’S NO OUT WITHIN OUR CURRENT SYSTEM. EVEN IF YOU DID THE MAGIC AND PULLED YOURSELF UP BY YOUR BOOTSTRAPS AND NOW YOU’RE A BIG BOY WHO OWNS HIS OWN COMPANY, YOU LEFT BEHIND A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T WIN THE BIRTH LOTTERY LIKE YOU DID. INNOCENT FOLKS ARE DYING OF HUNGER OR ILLNESS THEY CAN’T AFFORD TO TREAT, CRASHING CARS THEY CAN’T AFFORD TO FIX, WORKING THEMSELVES LITERALLY TO DEATH TO SUPPORT THEMSELVES OR THEIR FAMILIES, AND SCRAPING BY WITH A MEASLY ALLOWANCE OF FREE TIME WITH WHICH TO UNWIND AND CATCH UP WITH OTHER PEOPLE. THEY DON’T HAVE TIME TO WATCH THE NEWS, THINK CRITICALLY ABOUT THE SOCIETY THEY LIVE IN, CONCEPTUALIZE UNIONIZING OR REVOLTING OR BUILDING GUILLOTINES. THEY WANT TO KEEP US EXHAUSTED AND STRUGGLING BECAUSE IT’S WHAT KEEPS THEM COMFORTABLE UP THERE, KNOWING NO ONE HAS THE ENERGY OR THE GALL TO TOUCH THEM. THE ONLY FUCKING WAY TO ESCAPE THIS HELL WE’VE CREATED IS THROUGH REVOLUTION. WE NEED TO SCRAP THIS WHOLE THING AND START OVER. BUT I THINK THAT’S ANOTHER ESSAY. ANYWAY I HOPE THIS WAS THOROUGH ENOUGH FOR A LITERAL ALIEN SOCIETY. 

TL;DR: WE ARE ALL FUCKED IF WE DON’T OVERTHROW THE RICH. 

---------------

*CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS IS SOME EUROPEAN WHO SAILED THE WRONG WAY AND ENDED UP IN THE AMERICAS. HE AND HIS BUDDIES RAPED AND PILLAGED THEIR WAY THROUGH A BUNCH OF INDIGINOUS COMMUNITIES AND DECIDED THIS COUNTRY WAS “FREE REIGN” TO SETTLE IN. HE IS HAILED AS THE AMERICAN ODYSSEUS AND CREDITED WITH THE “DISCOVERY” OF AMERICA BECAUSE OF COURSE ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO LIVED HERE FIRST DON’T COUNT??

**I DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT WARS EITHER BUT LET’S GET INTO IT FROM THE POV OF A GUY WHO PASSED HIS WORLD HISTORY CLASS WITH A STRAIGHT B MINUS. 

THE FIRST WORLD WAR: I DON’T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THIS ONE.

THE SECOND WORLD WAR: THE ONE WHERE A BUNCH OF SCIENTISTS AND GOVERNMENT OFFICERS BOMBED A COUPLE OF CIVILIAN SETTLEMENTS IN JAPAN AND I’M PRETTY SURE AN *ENTIRE HAWAIIAN ISLAND* JUST TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED. TURNS OUT IT KILLED A BUNCH OF CIVILIANS. HUH! WHO’D HAVE EXPECTED THAT! OH IT ALSO TURNED AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF OTHERWISE DECENT FOLKS INTO RABIDLY PATRIOTIC IDIOTS, BECAUSE THE PACE AT WHICH THIS COUNTRY CHURNS OUT PROPAGANDA DURING A WAR IS FASTER THAN THE SPEEDING RUBBER BAND I SHOT WITH MY FINGERS AT THE TEACHER WHO WAS EXPLAINING WHY EVERY OTHER COUNTRY WAS IN THE ABSOLUTE WRONG DURING THIS CATASTROPHE.

VIETNAM: OKAY SO BASICALLY PEOPLE HATED THIS ONE BECAUSE THEY REALIZED SOLDIERS WERE GOING ALL CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS ON THE COUNTRIES WHERE THEY WERE STATIONED. ENOUGH SAID. 

COLD WAR: THIS IS NOMINALLY A WAR BECAUSE THE GOOD OLD U.S.A. AND ITS HATEFUCKBUDDY THE U.S.S.R.† DID THIS WITH WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION 

(EVENTUALLY THEY DECIDED TO PUT THE FINGER GUNS AWAY. I’M GONNA LET YOU TRY TO PUZZLE OUT ON YOUR OWN HOW COUNTRIES “PUT AWAY” NUCLEAR WEAPONS CAPABLE OF ENDING ALL LIFE ON EARTH.)

SPACE RACE: THE U.S. AND THE U.S.S.R. HAD A FUN COMPETITION TO SEE WHOSE DICK WAS BIG ENOUGH TO GET TO THE MOON. SCIENCE IS RUINED. 

***ARTISTS, WRITERS, JOURNALISTS, VIDEO ESSAYISTS, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO ISN’T EITHER OWNED OR SPONSORED (THAT’S A FANCY WORD FOR “OWNED”) BY BIG BUSINESS TEND TO BE THREATENED BY POVERTY. PRETTY MUCH ANYONE WHO CAN FREELANCE ACTUALLY, BECAUSE WORKING FOR A CORPORATION PROVIDES THE SAFETY NET THAT SOCIAL PROGRAMS WOULD OTHERWISE TAKE CARE OF IF SOCIAL PROGRAMS WERE FUNDED EVER. 

****ALSO KNOWN AS THE AMERICAN DREAM, IN WHICH *ANYBODY* CAN MAKE IT IN THIS COUNTRY IF THEY TRY HARD ENOUGH! UNFORTUNATELY THIS IS A MYTH, AS YOU CAN SEE BY THE FACT THAT I AM STILL REALLY POOR, AS IS LIKE 90% OF THE COUNTRY. PLUS CLASS MOBILITY WORKS REALLY HARD TO KEEP MINORITIES IN EXTREME POVERTY, BECAUSE IT DOESN’T EXIST AS AN ISOLATED SYSTEM AND ANYONE WHO THINKS IT DOES IS A DUMBSHIT WHO’S BOUGHT INTO THIS EVEN MORE THAN THE AVERAGE DUMBSHIT. 

†RUSSIA’S COOL NEW NAME WHEN IT TRIED OUT SOCIALISM

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listen to me — chapter 41

LISTEN TO ME — 0041

listen to me masterlist;

WORDS: 2.7K

Hyoyeon, who paced the wide porch of Sooyoung's house, let out a relieved sigh when she saw a pair of headlights turn the corner. The first raindrops were beginning to stain the street, but the faint smell of wet dust hardly masked the smell of meat and spices that exuded from the kitchen.

― "Put the car in the garage!" ― she shouted at her son and pushed one of the buttons on the small control in her hand, thus opening the electronic gate and allowing Jisung's car to park next to her sister's. ― "You two took too long, huh? I was already worried."

― "It's not my fault if this woman chose the end of the world to live in," ― muttered Han as he removed his seat belt. It was a battle to find the right way, for all the houses in that gloomy neighborhood looked exactly alike. ― "That's because we took a shortcut down the road, otherwise we'd be running around by now."

― "I would have helped if you had called me."

― "My phone suddenly lost its signal and hasn't come back until now."

Hyoyeon scowled and checked the screen of her own phone. The neighborhood was a bit high compared to the city center, which always earned her a perfect internet connection and the like.

― "Mine's normal."

― "Must be the operator" ― Jisung's hair was starting to get messy from the wind. He threw the wires back and closed the car door after leaving it. ― "Jinah's isn't working either."

Just hearing the name of the woman whose, Hyoyeon smiled immediately. She followed Choi's shy drive from the other car door to Jisung's side and tried to use her manners not to look like a complete neurotic.

― "I said so much that, for a moment, I forgot you were here. I'm sorry, honey" ― and before Jinah could say an 'it's fine', Hyoyeon rushed off, ― "Welcome, okay? The house is yours! I mean, actually, it's not even mine, it's my sister's, but in the end it doesn't matter because it's all of us. I think this is a little confusing, but-..."

― "Mom" ― Jisung interrupted her. ― "Don't."

She, then, nodded. ― "Let's eat?" ― said before turning around and entering the house. Jinah laughed softly, while Han merely shook his head, as if he had nothing to say ─ and really didn't; so, they both followed Hyoyeon and also passed through the front door.

Whenever he visited Sooyoung's house, Jisung was very impressed. His aunt was so rich that, if she wanted to, could choose any mansion she liked and pay on real money, still, she preferred to share a common house with three puppies and cook in an apron full of daisies. It was what made her happy, then. Something hard to find in a world where capitalism always speaks louder.

― "Ah, finally." ― Sooyoung left the last cutlery on the dining table and took off her apron when she noticed the arrival of visitors. She flashed a kind smile in Jisung's direction and pulled him into a hug. ― "I missed you, dear."

― "Missed you too, auntie," ― he hugged her back and examined her sweet features after their contact ended. Apart from a wrinkle or two around her eyes, she didn't seem to have changed anything since the last time they met, that is, Christmas the year before.

― "And you must be Jinah" ― Sooyoung smiled at the girl, who immediately returned the gesture. ― "Hyoyeon told me a lot about you."

Choi blushed slightly: ― "She did?"

―  "But it was just good things, I promise." ― Mrs. Han set the bottle of wine on the table after pouring all the glasses and pulled out a chair to sit on. ― "It's going to get cold, don't you come?"

That's a good sign when your mother-in-law speaks better of you than your own boyfriend, right? Jinah had been very well supported by Hyoyeon from the first moment, she really had nothing to worry about. So, considering the laughter and such pleasant surroundings, why did she still feel so apprehensive?

                                                      ♡˖°

Jisung lost track of how many times he rolled his eyes and drank wine over it, knowing only that this was his third glass. Did his mother really need to be so indiscreet? What the hell!

― "Once he went to school dressed as a lion cub!" ― Hyoyeon was telling Jinah and looking at her son as if the latter were still a little child dressed in a cute costume. ― "I should have brought the photos, it was the most beautiful thing in the world!"

Jisung was right; leaving his girlfriend and mother together couldn't work out in a million years. They both adored each other so intensely that he couldn't understand, leaving only a few pounds of embarrassment and a merely drunk organism that was solely responsible for not yet allowing him to hit his head on the table.

― "Lion cub, how lovely," ― Jinah said with the same intonation used to 'talk' to pets, her lips projecting a pout that was characteristic of controlling herself so as not to pinch a cheek. ― "Did you roar too?"

― "Fuck you," ― Jisung was able to mutter, as Hyoyeon, random as she was, was distracted by Sooyoung about the chocolate pie the latter cited served as dessert.

― "What a rude lion cub."

― "Jinah, one more word and I'll eat you in the punch, outside."

― "With so many ways you can eat me, does it have to be right in the punch?"

Jisung glanced over Jinah's seemingly innocent face and was almost surprised by the girl's duality, just not doing so because he was more than used to it.

― "That's the way I feel the most right now."

― "Not funny."

― "Wow, it's almost half past eleven" ― Hyoyeon was startled by the time when she unlocked her phone to answer her crush message. ― "How long did I sleep?" ― she got up then, starting to stack the dirty dishes, as dinner was long gone and the four of them were just chatting.

― "No, leave it there." ― Sooyoung stood up too, but to prevent her sister from arranging the table. ― "You can let me do it myself later."

― "No way, look at this mess," ― Hyoyeon insisted, and in that Jinah and Jisung stood to help wash and dry the dishes. The hostess, however, continued to object.

― "Guys, I make a point, really." ― Sooyoung looked fondly at each one of them. ― "Hyo, this is the first time in years you've come to visit me and we end the night without a fight, and I love you so much, okay? Living here with my puppies makes me feel fulfilled, but, sometimes, it's a little lonely, and it was an honor for me to have you three here. This dinner is just a way to say thank you."

When she was done, Hyoyeon, who was teary-eyed, didn't hesitate to hug her.

― "I love you so much too, can I sleep here tonight?"

― "You still ask?" ― Sooyoung smiled. ― "There's a room of yours up there, you fool. By the way, you and Jinah can stay if you want, Jisung."

― "We have class early tomorrow" ― lamented Jisung. ― "But thanks anyway. The food was great and it gave everyone time to piss me off. Isn't it, mom? Isn't it, JinJin?"

― "Aish, the lion cub is a complainer too," ― Jinah scoffed, prompting Hyoyeon to laugh in agreement.

Jisung decided he wouldn't stress — no more — and went to say goodbye to Sooyoung, who was the only truly kind-hearted person in that house. Meanwhile, Hyoyeon took advantage of his son's distraction and pulled Jinah to a corner.

― "I just want to thank you for doing Jisung so well," ― she said quietly, holding a slight smile on her lips. ― "I imagined coming to the country and finding him in a completely different way, but, even complaining a lot and being grumpy from time to time, he looks happy in a way I've never seen before. I hope you don't get out of my family like Chaerin did, because knowing there's someone so amazing around Jisung is all I could really want."

― "If it's up to me, I'm not going anywhere" ― Jinah moved her impassioned eyes towards Jisung, who laughed at something Sooyoung was telling. ― "And I couldn't want anything else either, because you're so much nicer than I thought. Broke all that annoying mother-in-law stereotype, you know?"

― "Oh, good! I hate that kind of thing and I'm too young to be called an annoying old woman."

Jinah laughed, but both she and Hyoyeon were startled the next second by a noise outside the house. They were near one of the windows and, through the closed glass, they could see the dull glow of the moon that appeared just after the storm had passed. Everything was wet and dark; so neither could see the real cause of the noise.

― "These Sooyoung dogs are a problem, see? They mess everything up," ― Hyoyeon supposed, placing no importance on what happened. ― "Anyway, take care. Don't run too much and watch the curves, I'm scared to drive when it rains this way."

― "And this is the fifth time the day you say the same thing." ― Jisung joined his girlfriend and took the opportunity to say goodbye to his mother with a quick hug. It was a little clumsy, as he was still getting used to the new phase in which Hyoyeon was really present in his life, but it was also good.

― "I'm really worried, leave me alone. Oh, and don't forget to call when you get home."

― "I won't forget."

Finally, Jinah said goodbye to Sooyoung and the couple left the house, closing the door on their way out. Outside, Jisung took his car keys out of his pocket and threw them at his girlfriend, who complained in pain when the key ring hit her finger. Han saw it as a kind of revenge. No one told the girl to be so distracted, after all.

― "Drive for me," ― he said, leaning against the driver's door. ― "The wine made me a little drunk."

― "Looks like someone will be late waking up tomorrow."

― "I'm fine, I just don't want to risk it."

― "Responsible lion cub."

Jisung lunged at Jinah, but all he could do was land a kiss on Choi. They couldn't take too long, fearing the two women in the house would see something, but it was enough for both of them. Three hours could mean a lot of time for both, don't criticize.

Jinah took the driver's seat and Jisung did the same in the passenger seat. After buckling up, Choi stuck the key in the ignition and started it. It took about three seconds for the car to respond to commands, something that normally didn't happen, but was soon heading down the quiet streets toward the road.

― "Do you know what would be interesting now?" ― Jisung began, breaking the few minutes of silence. ― "Motel."

The car jerked slightly, as if the front wheels suddenly hardened, then returned to normal as if nothing had happened. Jinah frowned at both the strange reaction of the vehicle and Jisung's last speech.

― "Only if it's to get there and sleep."

― "But, baby, I already said I'm fine. Who almost lost control of the steering when I only mentioned the possibility of getting laid was you."

Jinah was about to reply that she had lost nothing and that someone else's car needed to get through the garage as soon as possible, but before that, Jisung continued:

― "I just won't insist on the idea because there are no motels nearby and it's too late for those who need to present a seminar tomorrow."

― "It reminds me that I have an evaluative exercise and haven't studied anything." ― Jinah turned the wheel to finally hit the road. The car jolted again, now because the brake had failed for a minimum second and the wheels climbed higher than they had demanded. Jinah ignored it. ― "One more defeat on my list, tsk."

― "It happens."

― "Not with you."

― "Ouch, why not?"

― "You're always studying," ― Choi replied as if it were obvious. ― "Sometimes, I just want a kiss and you don't even pay attention to me because you're too busy with the books."

― "It only happens once every ten of your attempts, you dramatic, I'm always kissing you."

― "You should kiss more."

Jisung laughed weakly, ― "Okay, I'll write that down on my agenda."

― "You better do it."

The silence returned. Jinah kept her eyes fixed on the headlamp track all the time, but as the speed increased, it was impossible not to focus on the speedometer for a moment.

― "Why are you running like this?" ― asked Jisung.

― "...It's speeding by itself."

― "What?" ― Han watched the 80KM/H hand move to 100KM/H and keep moving without Jinah stepping on the accelerator. By then, Choi had already stopped pressing the pedal and focused only on the brake, but the brake didn't work at all. Jisung began to despair. ― "Why doesn't it stop?!"

― "I don't know!" ― Jinah's heart was already beating like a drum. Her eyes searched the rear-view mirror. There was only one car behind them and the distance seemed safe to opt for a drastic measure. As such, she disregarded the nearly 120KM/H and pulled the parking brake hard, but the lever simply took off. ― "My God..." ― the panic was so, but so big, that she could at least express a reaction, and knowing that a sharp turn was coming only made it all the more terrifying. With that speed, it was obvious they would roll over.

Farther back, Chaerin and Seungmin were scared. The canadian had recognized her ex-fiancé's car and had no idea why he was running so hard.

― "Is he drunk?" ― Kim asked, uneasily in the passenger seat. Alright, Jisung didn't like his person and they never had reason to get fond of it, far from it, but, there were lives that were in danger. Seungmin was about to graduate in medicine, his concern was evident. ― "If they keep this up, they won't be able to turn it! What if he's with Jinah? They'll die!"

As nervous as Seungmin, Chaerin began to honk and even tried to accelerate to reach them, but it was too dangerous. The wet track made the wheels slide so easily, their intervention could be even more fatal.

A tear of pure despair ran down Jisung's cheek.

― "I don't wanna die, Jinah!" ― he shouted. The curve was just ahead, the pointer marked exactly 160KM/H. The adrenaline was so intense that he even tried to open the car door, but all four were locked and nothing seemed to be able to open them.

Jinah felt her throat tighten. She also wanted to cry, not only because she was about to die, but also because it was her fault. She saw the signals the car gave before it reached that critical situation and ignored each one. It was her fault, only hers.

Jisung couldn't die because of her.

― "You won't" ― and uttering each syllable in a shaky voice, Jinah put all her strength into the steering wheel ─ which had also locked at some point ─ and clenched her jaw as she struggled to turn it. A loud crash announced the success, and she took the mission to stop that car as if it were the most important of her life, and it really was.

The dreaded curve that would kill them both was forgotten when Jinah threw the car off the track and into the trees. The thin logs broke against the car at all times, but their focus was on the huge oak tree a few feet away. The wood was very thick and firm, surely enough to contain the impact.

Jisung realized what his girlfriend was about to do and, as if possible, was even more desperate, as they weren't heading straight for it. Jinah wanted to defy several laws of physics and hit only her side of the car so that the damage was mostly concentrated in one part and Jisung wouldn't get hurt so badly. Han's reaction to grabbing the steering wheel to stop was completely involuntary, and the two began to 'fight' for the steering in the next few seconds. However, Jinah managed to push him before the impact happened.

The roots of the oak tree crashed to the ground, one of the airbags failed, the engine died, and everything stained crimson.

a/n: god take care of my soul, because today i die.

i took a few days to post, right? sorry, but i started sticking my face in the books to study for the upcoming exams and i'm starting to write my final paper and this is leaving me little time to come here on tumblr, i'm sorry. but on this september 7th, it's Brazil's independence day and they decided to emend with the 6th, so i'll see if i have more free time to come here, okay?

anyway, about the chapter...

i won't even apologize because i know it won't do, i really want to ask patience. who follows the AU knows that out of 10 chapters i post, 8 are fluffy, 1 is a weak angst and the rest is just the rest, so this time i really wanted to do something different and heavier. this accident was in LTM’s plans right from the start and, despite all that is coming i don't regret it, as i believe it is another opportunity to try writing using new sensations and new paths, and that's it

i see you guys in the next chapters or is this the end of the line for many of you? there's still a lot to happen in this au, just saying huh

we end up here for today, hope to see you guys soon <3

[artificialqueens]

living on the edge of the law (biadore) - chapter 5 - lily2

bianca needs an outlet and all her friends are either flirting or too drunk to realize, adore is beyond stressed with her new restrictions and album being put out & sasha reaches an absolute breaking point.

— *.✧ “So you’re not exactly the fondest of her is what I am hearing?” Jinkx asked, taking a sip of her Pepsi, genuinely intruiged by the way of which Bianca was speaking. It bad been a full work week since Bianca had begun assisting Adore Delano, the grundy and up and coming singer from Azusa, California. Her auburn hair twirled around her finger curiously listening to Bianca talk, well yell— all her emotions and anger and work stories out.  “It’s not that! It’s really not, when she performs and she’s doing her thing? Jesus, she’s fucking amazing.” The small twinkle in Bianca’s eyes when she started talking about Adore singing was enough of an indication to Jinkx, “So you like her and her music, she’s just understandbly a bit tense, she’s young, and smells horrible?“  “Exactly!” They laughed, cheering glasses, Jinkx the one who was unlucky and stuck driving for tonight, Pepsi in hand whole Bianca took down tequila shots, “You don’t have to die of alcohol poisoning today y'know!” She spoke up over the music, Bianca rolling her eyes, scoffing a bit offended. “Bitch you of all people should know that I, as a Latina, cannot legally get drunk off tequila, it’s fucking water!” She yelled before taking down another shot and holding onto Jinkx’s arm, smiling to know that she had her closest high school friend in her presence and now permanently since she had moved to Santa Monica. The waiter came with their food and with a small slip of paper, passing to Jinkx who was definitely confused as to why a young waiter would be passing her something as generic as paper, crumpled and with clear writing inside judging by the blue ink stains from the outside. “Is this for me?” She asked, Bianca stunned.  “Yes, our bartender wanted you to have it, the girl with the dyed platinum hair.” He said before taking his now empty tray as Jinkx opened the slipe to find a phone number enclosed as well as a small message that read: Please take the number, I’m Ivy and I think you’re absolutely beautiful xx . Bianca snaked her eyes over to look at the note as she completely widened her eyes, “Well damn, atleast she isn’t fucking around with you.” The bartender who was apperantly named Ivy stared at Jinkx, looking for a reaction and getting one in the form of a smile and glance over, shoving the number in her pocket and brushing her hair from her face, “Maybe I still can get around.” She joked much to Bianca’s dismay.  “Oh bitch we are not that old, don’t do me like that.” Bianca taking a bite of her salad, decently content with the actual flavor of it though Jinkx was now only staring at that mysterious bartender who would return the glances often with a bashful smile. “Go and talk to her, say I want some alcohol bitch.” She whispered teasingly before Jinkx punched her stomach under the table, Bianca yelling before Jinkx shushed her, standing up. “I need five minutes is all.” She left the table and went over right to the mysterious woman.  “Oh sure!” She yelled before going on her phone, not wanting to answer Adore’s new texts right now, more trying to look occupied so she could try and spy on her close friend, Jinkx already cackling while talking some nonsense to the flirty bartender who made her a drink, unsuprisingly.  She finally replied to Adore who was just ranting on and on about how many limits her new album would have, Bianca telling her to suck it up and realize this was how the cooperate world worked unfortunately. The singer replying with nothing but crying emoji’s, Bianca quickly clicking out it not exactly wanting to deal with her childlike antics in a restaurant like trying to look preoccupied.  Two notifications popped up across her phone’s screen as banners, both were from Sasha, which was surprising considering how little she ever needed or asked for from Bianca, she seemed like she had her life together and wasn’t too worried about depending on friends over text, she just occasionally asked for some paperwork and a question about Shea, she realized even in just one week working at the office that everyone realize the emotions and feelings were beyond real besides the two people who were showing it most: Shea and Sasha. Bianca, Katya is throwing a party tonight, no reason specifically and she totally forgot to text you, I’m at her house and she invited you if you would like to come.  She begun typing a response almost immediately before doing a double take on the second message which mentioned the fact this party would almost hundred percent be a karaoke party. Working with singers was one thing but actually having to be under the influence of her co-workers and alcohol and sing for fun was a completely different ballgame.  Bianca didn’t care much for if she sounded good or not, she wasn’t Adore and not like karaoke was ever taken very serious especially at a party with the people she had begun to consider friends at the very least— she wasn’t exactly where the flaw in the plan was but something in her stomach growled, maybe she was just feeling far too attached to music and musicians tight now and didn’t want to think about her job outside of work. Okay I’ll come, just text me the details of the party and date, bring alcohol or no?  And just like that Bianca Del Rio, most known for her attitude just accepted a personal invite to a damn house party for a job she had barely started a full week ago, the only thing that could’ve made it possibly better was Courtney being closer and not hours ahead, never being able to FaceTime and Adore being a bit more mature and making her own decisions, to be less reliant on her friend she had spoke about in her office and on Bianca herself.  Bring nothing, Katya has enough please trust me on that :)  Jinkx insisted she would be back by now but Bianca just finished her food and paid the check without her knowing, slyly sliding off her chair and leaving a note for Jinkx saying there was a work party she had to go help and that she hopes things work out with the Ivy chick. She snuck herself out before skipping along to her car, turning it on to work the AC before reading Adore’s message, asking for her to come if she could and help Adore find a house or studio to stay in, expressing genuine want to get out of her best friend’s apartment in Los Angeles.  Please B!!! I need help, I have virtually no credit but I can’t keep leaning on her, you’re totally right. We can do it at your house if you want so you don’t have to make the trip. Bianca groaned, “She really just had to reply right after Sasha?” She muttered before thinking, it was a Friday so not like she had anywhere to be on the weekend, all she needed to do was finish organizing her closet and call Courtney and spill some more news and stories for the week. “Okay let’s do a few hours at Katya’s and then she can come over, perfect!” She planned aloud before texting her to come to her house around 10PM, sending her addressing and adding a: Don’t fucking walk this time you bitch. STAY SAFE!!!  She dropped her phone and blasted her music, slightly letting the window down, she had the decent and general idea of where Katya lived after having to take her home this past Wednesday because her car broke down or some shit like that, she was right across the recording studio and a block on the left so not like she could get lost, especially when seeing the Russian flag on her mailbox. It was extremely fucking stupid as a decoration in her own opinion and it was indeed very extra but it definitely helped Bianca distinguish her house quite easy.  “Hey whores!” Bianca teasingly called from the door once hearing Katya’s distinct voice yell at her to come in once she rung the doorbell. “Hello!” Smiled Sasha who was rummaging and sorting through the alcohol that filled the absolute perimeters of Katya’s shelves.  “Guess I really didn’t need to bring the alcohol when you have an entire liqour store in the back of your kitchen.” Katya snickered at Bianca’s comment before turning, holding a bottle of whiskey, “Some of it is just for guests, I don’t drink beer but I have some just incase someone like Shea comes over who can’t handle her liqour well.” Sasha slapped her on the back and cursed something unintelligible to Bianca who laughed, clapping and stealing some of the chocolate Katya had laid out.  “How many people did you invite?” She asked jokingly looking at the alcohol and food before Katya replied with a shrug, “Only about twelve people.” Bianca nervously smiled, that was about ten too many in her book. She was extremely extroverted but really liked her peace and quiet and knew it would be her awkwardly sipping alcohol and watching all these others talk so comfortably with eachother considering they all probably had worked together for years “Oh you’re great, you’ll be fine.” Katya’s voice sounding absolutely serious when she spoke the reply, Bianca had her doubts but trusted her newfound friend and co-worker. “Don’t worry if I get left out I’ll just steal all your fucking alcohol and leave, bag that shit up and go!” She yelled before grabbing Katya’s arm and laughing with the Russian sitting next to her before they started escalating into conversation about Adore and how that entire thing is going, everyone seemed obnxiously interested in that world of Bianca’s especially if it had to do with Adore, it was sweet at first and now it was annoying as hell: she didn’t have much to share so then it was time for Katya to speak.  “I finally asked my crush of about four years on a date.” Bianca’s eyes widened and Sasha almost dropped her glass in her surprise, “You’re joking!” She screamed before clapping and mumbling something in Russian. “Who? You never even told me you had a crush let alone for that fucking long.“  Shea better take notes!  "Her name is Trixie, she’s a singer but we met because we used to work in entertainment, she’s a makeup artist and does hair to but she’s trying to break into music.” Bianca rolled her eyes, “Seems like everyone is nowadays.” Katya almost pushed her off her chair, “She’s actually a fantastic singer, she does more country and folk music, it’s some really cool stuff but I finally asked her and you know what she responsed?"  Sasha absolutely delighted for best friend smiled, "What? I really wanna know!” Bianca put her face in her hands and listened definitely curious, she would laugh if after all of this build the answer was a deadpanned “No”.  “She said yes!” Katya screamed before Sasha also yelled and Bianca yelled since everyone else was, they all hugged before Bianca questioned her antics and if she was invited to tonight. “Oh fuck no, if she saw my friends she would dump me right before our date even happens!” She joked though Sasha wrapped her arms around her fellow Russian friend’s neck and smiled, “I’m very proud of you!” The two seemed to click like sisters, Bianca would’ve probably guessed they were if it wasn’t for Katya very early on distinguishing the two of them though she was sure somehow they were twelveth cousins. The doorbell rung and all three of the girls yelled the door was open, Katya giving a thumbs up before getting out more cups as Shea and Aja walked through the door all at once, stepping in and saying their hello’s and Shea quickly running over to Sasha who happily took the hug and held her hand as they spoke aimlessly as absolutely fucking expected.  “What is the alcohol of choice?” Katya said showing off her bar cart, twirling in her red tulle skirt, smirking. “I just want something straight, no ice.” Aja said dull, sitting down quickly and with a sour face. Katya nodding and fixing her a vodka pouring just a bit of club soda since Aja seemed intent on just vodka but the Russian knew better than that.  “You seem distinctly off today, something wrong?” Bianca tried to be the mediator here but Aja didn’t say a word, clearly wanting space though that only caused Bianca further confusion, “Honey why did you come to a party if you’re just gonna sit there in silence?” Katya quickly shushing Bianca and taking Aja to her room so she could drink and be in peace until she was ready.  The Russian came back out, greeting Farrah, Sharon, Aquaria and Alaska before grabbing Bianca’s arm, still clutching a vodka-soda in the other hand. “She’s having some relationship issues and she really wants to have a good time, I pushed her to come and atleast have a little drink so she wouldn’t have to think about it at home, alone, just let her be. It’s complicated but I swear after a few minutes of peace she will be fine.” Bianca took her word and nodded, the blonde obviously knowing her own co-workers of years in and out, much better than Bianca certainly.  “Let’s fucking sing!” Katya yelled to her friends who were already here, knowing in the back of her mind this was the people she knew wouldn’t be two hours late or busy. “Who is first?” She asked turning on the microphones and her laptop which was hooked to her system and flatscreen which projected the karaoke program on screen, Sasha raised her hand and whispered something to Shea who laughed and got up with her. “Throw us money bitches, you aren’t ready for this!” Shea shrieked before downing her shot and smiling, still holding Sasha’s hand.  Bianca took out a one and threw it, Farrah throwing a ten already. Shea picked up the money and grinned, stuffing it in her coat’s pocket before Sasha typed the song and stood back to back with Shea. “Oh my god it’s a whole production over here!” Alaska grinned happy, leaning into Katya’s large couch that took up almost two thirds of the entire living area which was impressive considering the scope and size of the woman’s house.  The music started and all of them cheered immediately recognizing the song though they let Sasha and Shea take the lead on this, Bianca wanted to see this happen in action. The Russian grabbed the mic as did Shea and they turned towards eachother, not even having to look at the lyrics but neither did anyone else, this song was an absolute classic.

“I’ve been hearing your heartbeat inside of me

I keep your photo right beside my bed

Livin’ in a world of fantasy

I can’t get you out of my head!”

Their singing wasn’t even half bad, it was pretty decent actually although Bianca prayed that meant they wouldn’t be asking for a record deal tomorrow. It was ironic they chose what apparently was “their song” according to Farrah who already had her phone out, recording her friends like a mom at a shitty dance recital, since this song absolutely epitomized their relationship.  Shea and Sasha staring at eachother intently as they sung each word in perfect sync and with the beat just having fun with the song, the Russian twirling her friend around and smiling in pure, delusional happiness.

“I’ve been waiting for the phone to ring all night

Why you want to make me feel so good

I got a love of my own

Shouldn’t get so hung up on you.”

At this point they both faced eachother back to back before turning on the word you, pointing to eachother. “Get a room!” Yelled Alaska who was absolutely eating this performance up, clapping and mouthing all the words when she wasn’t chugging her (already) second glass of some cocktail Katya must’ve made her.

“I remember the way that we touched I wish I

didn’t like it so much 

I get so emotional, baby 

Every time I think of you 

I get so emotional, baby 

Ain’t it shocking what love can do!”

They held hands the entire performance just staring into eachother’s eyes so damn sincerely that Bianca wanted to murder them both. “This is too good.” Farrah whispered to Aquaria as she danced in her seat, still recording. It went on for the entire song before they got to the last lyric and just danced around the wooden floor, smirking and putting the mics back before they all clapped and laughed wildly, “Absolutely stunning.” Aquaria commented before Bianca noticed Shea pulling Sasha away for something.  Oh my fucking god maybe today will really be the day! God knows what Shea is gonna say anyway.  The party grew twice its size in about two hours due to Alaska’s impulsive decisions and big mouth and Bianca decided this would be the perfect time to finally leave and be able to catch up with Adore, texting her as she said goodbye to Katya, attempting to look for Shea and Sasha but not finding them, which made her both extremely nervous and extremely happy. She skipped along to her car before turning it on and driving away, not rushing to be anymore since Adore promised she would be at her house at around 9PM, it was about 8:30PM, Bianca definitely had time. It was a fun party but she definitely felt out of place a bit, she wasn’t sure if it was of legitmate concern or just because it had only been a week since she started working there at the office. I’ll figure it out eventually, I always do. *.✧ Shea took Sasha’s hand and squeezed it, the Russian questioning exactly where they were going but the blonde simply left it up on her best friend who insisted she stay quiet so they could sneak their way through Katya’s room and going up the staircase though Katya and Alaska covering a tipsy version of “Last Dance” by Donna Summer was definitely enough of a distraction from anyone caring about what they were doing.  “Are we going on the roof?” Sasha joked before Shea stopped in her tracks. “Oh— you were serious!” The Russian laughing and whispering before blinking, feeling the mascara on her long lashes gently touch her skin, hoping there wasn’t a blackspot now. “I don’t mind!” She quickly intervened before her friend could reply, taking her another corner of the house and saying how she had done this multiple times with Katya on a holiday to watch fireworks without the mess of trying to go to pier all sweaty and crowded.  “I know all of my Russian sister’s home!” She gloated before they made their way, still holding hands and not letting go until they sat awkwardly silent, listening to the wind and staring out at the sun, which was beginning to make its course to set.  “Do you ever miss home?” Shea asked out the blue, it wasn’t at all an odd or weird question to ask Sasha who often talked of her culture and past but in the conversation and setting it did indeed feel a bit suprising.  “Well…” She breathed in before laughing and biting her lip, “It’s complicated.” Shea scooted as she closed her eyes and thought long and hard how to respond, her hand on Sasha’s knee happily offering her support, mumbling that she didn’t have to answer and that it was a dumb question.  “No, no, not at all! I do miss Russia and I will always be proud to have such a complex culture and amazing landmarks and history but part of me, it feels so ashamed. I can’t be who I am because of the country and even though it holds most of what I love and adore and it’s been the biggest source of childhood and happiness, I can’t act like I would want to go back."  Shea was definitely surprised. "I miss all the tea and the way of living in terms of pace, the neighborhoods, how everything is full of a myriad of cultures and I definitely miss the food—” she snickered, “But, I see all of the news and how badly the government is constantly acting, it’s getting worse for us. For us who are different and not willing to concede and fit in with what they think the perfect picture of society is, it’s the worst feeling ever knowing that I will never feel comfortable in my own motherland again.” Sasha feeling herself tear up.  Fuck. Shea didn’t mean to start such a conflict of interest, she quickly put her hands on her cheeks and frowned, wiping her wet eyes, “Don’t cry, it’s not just because of your mascara either, I didn’t mean to make you so sad, I think it’s a very beautiful country I was just wondering since you said your family still lives over in St. Petersburg."  "Do you miss Chicago?” Shea still not taking her hands off her cheeks shrugged honestly, “Sometimes yes, sometimes no: I definitely wanna go back during PRIDE though!” She bragged as she nudged Sasha with her now free hands, the Russian feeling herself get good energy again, smiling at her best friend’s enthusiastic reply.  “Speaking of—” Shea started, stuttering a bit as she felt her Sasha’s face soften and stare, her perfect smile revealing her rose glow at her cheeks.“Yes?” Everything seemed so perfectly silent and at ease when they just stared at eachother but Shea knew she would have to stay atleast something, something to make herself feel validated especially with Bianca and Katya beginning to understandably breathe down her neck about the entire situation. “Sasha, I think we should talk about us, you know.” Her nervous smile and laughter making it difficult to speak, the Russian nodding in wait. “I know you just recently broke up with your man—” Sasha rolled her eyes, “I know but I’m over it don’t worry, you knew he wasn’t the best from the beginning and you were absolutely right, youre my good judgement I guess."  "Well, I’m your best friend, it’s just what I’m here for.” Shea said painstakingly aware that if she didn’t say it now it would never come out. “You’re here always, the others can’t relate!” Sasha was joking but the wink she gave to her completely set off Shea who let her open her mouth to speak before she started looking away, completely in a state of emergency.  “Shea, what’s wrong?” Her gentle and soothing tone spoke, rubbing her shoulders before Shea breathed in before grabbing Sasha by her collar and leaned in, smashing their lips together. The blonde completely surprised to say the least, pushing her away almost immediately after kissing back, something just felt a bit wrong, she wasn’t sure what. “Sasha, I’m sor—"  "No. Stop it, please.” She begged, holding her hands, kissing them before staring into Shea’s eyes trying to make sure she was listening and paying attention. “I was kind of hoping you would soon, Bianca was starting to ask me about how I feel about you every day and I started piecing it all together in my head after years.” She laughed, Shea didn’t know whether to slap or thank Bianca on Monday but they would see after this endeavor.  Their hands interlocked and Shea looked down before Sasha smiled and bent down to lift her head and kiss her, finally. Shea had never felt greater in her entire life and it just had to happen on Katya's roof of all places, as the sun went down: you really couldn’t make this shit up. They didn’t really want to stop kissing, only stopping to breathe and struggling to kiss without giggling everywhere even as their lips met, it was weird.  “Okay I’m gonna call it quits now but only because, I think we should go to my house.” Her hand ran through Sasha’s hair who only gave her a grin, “To your house?” Knowing the kind of activities that would entail, no matter how badly Shea didn’t want to encourage it, it was gonna happen tonight and they both kind of accepted it. “To my house.” Shea whispered leaning in to kiss her again before the Russian pressed her finger to her lips, “And my car?"  Shea slapped herself for that one, "Dammit…” She whispered before they both decided to go into the house so they could atleast talk without wanting to fall off the roof, now that it was getting dark especially. “Let’s just take my car and I’ll drive you in the morning to go and get yours, deal?” She held out her hand for a shake but Sasha only slapped their hands together before quietly jumping into her body unexpectedly, pulling her by her waist, arms around Shea’s neck. Beyond satsified even as she heard the obnxiously loud karaoke still continue.  “Let’s get out of here."  "Thought you’d never ask."  *.✧ Adore knocked once, then twice and then heard Bianca scream and knocked three times just for good measure, coming in an unsurprising jumble mesh of clothing she knew she made look good: not like she was trying to impress anyone anymore, they wouldn’t revoke her contract just because of personal fashion tastes— atleast she hoped not.  "You really had to knock that many times? How fucking obnxious.” Bianca still threw the door open, the singer gripping her planner, a pen and her phone before she closed and locked the door. “Do you want water?” The voice spoke from the kitchen as Adore, beyond impressed, gave herself a little tour of the studio before waving Bianca off who poured some water and ice into a cup anyway, one for Adore even if she seemed to not pay attention to a word Bianca had said.  “I know, it’s very nice.” She sat on the leather couch before Adore joined her, stretching her legs on the couch before putting them down on the ground but keeping them crossed as she opened her planner, Bianca audibly gasping.  “Wow, she actually has something besides her phone and tights, I cannot believe I’m experiencing actual history in the making.” Adore flipped her off and cursed her out, “Oh fuck off hag.” She flipped to the page with the month’s plastered over them, looking for October as she spoke about how in the conference they wanted to do the album release the first week of October but promotion and some single releases month before. “So basically you have to come up with some venues I can do, they said to go out of state if I can for a little."  "Let’s say Nevada because I’m sure the bitches in Las Vegas would die to see you. I don’t think you have enough material just yet to go bigger but we can try and do some stuff there and I’m the west if you think that’ll get you some bank and promotion and actually not fall flat on it’s ass."  An hour later after some math, Adore moving places constantly and Bianca taking notes and making sheets for future reference on her laptop they had begun to slow it down and focus a bit less on work. Somehow they ended up on the topic of family and that’s where something begun it’s development. Adore, now laying her head on her assistant’s lap, groaned, Bianca suprisingly unbothered by the whole ordeal. "My dad is dead and my mom and I gave up on contact after she found out I dropped out of college.” That was tough, even Bianca paused a minute and really thought about this for a second, contemplating getting up so Adore would actually talk and not just close her eyelids and ignore all eye contact possible.  “You have guts for talking about it.” She knew deep down that she should probably finally speak about her parents, which she didn’t often, especially in a situation like this, having only really known Adore for a week, less than even. “I was thrown out.” She admitted softly, finally Adore sat up and grabbed Bianca’s hand, usually she would flinch and almost punch her right in the stomach and make some witty comment about her scent but she would let this pass without any comments.  “They found out from someone, a friend let it slip that I was into women and well— you can imagine how well two latino, immigrant parents took that!” She almost laughed, it was truthfully just the reaction she expected especially considering her age and the time it was found out, right before senior year. “I don’t regret it though, every bitch for them fucking selves, I was raised by wolves."  Adore leaned into her shoulder and felt her lips glued shut as she bit the inside of her cheek, "You’re very brave.” She admitted with nothing but respect and admiration for someone who clearly had seen all she needed to see at a young age especially regarding her personal life and interests, Adore’s mother never had an issue with her sexuality, it was just school and the alcohol. “Well enough of that sappy shit.” She cackled before moving to open her laptop, “Now let’s talk just a bit more about your next few apperances, we wanna organize it good so we can promote it.” *.✧ Eventually Bianca decided to give the clearly drowsy girl a small tour of the studio, showing off all the furniture and admitting Courtney had set her up, she knew nothing about houses which was what they had originally come to speak about but Adore needed to rest first, now wouldn’t be the best time. She saw a guitar and suddenly she was completely melting, running over and grabbing it, “Can I?” She asked like a kid in a candy store, Bianca leaning against the door frame as she turned on the light, this was just a vacant space with no purpose yet.  “If you sing and play, of course, not like I’m gonna serenade you anyway.” She sat on the small couch right next to where Adore planted herself, tuning the guitar before placing her fingers across the strings, rummaging for a pick in her coat, finding one hidden in the left pocket and giving a wink to Bianca, “See I’m not too messy!” Besides the joking she thought a minute, contemplating her song choices, it be cheesy to do her own song wouldn’t it? Or super egotistical? “Okay, this is one of my favorite songs.” She admitted with a heavy grin before she looked down, beginning to strum the strings.

“I got my red dress on tonight

Dancin’ in the dark in the pale moonlight.”

Bianca could die at any second as long as she got to hear that vibrato again, her face unknowingly leaned into her hands just as they did when Adore performed at her gig in Los Angeles, the singer slowly playing as she strummed the strings, so far so good. It was beyond good, it was absolutely perfect, no words to say.

“Done my hair up real big…”

Adore paused and stared into her assistant’s eyes, radiating onto her, she strummed: ”Bianca Del Rio style—“ the sudden ponder and lyric change earning a small clap and grin from Bianca herself who usually would call it a cheap move anyway but this was different, she fixed her long skirt so it covered her legs as she planted them comfortably on the couch as she took in the atmosphere of it all, Adore’s voice was enough to convince anyone of— who knows, the proof of god, but she always had the setting and emotions of the songs down, even if it was a gig as small as singing to Bianca in an abandoned room.

“High heels off, I’m feelin’ alive

Oh my God, I feel it in the air

Telephone wires above

Are sizzlin’ like a snare

Honey I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere

Nothin’ scares me anymore.”

Her hands so perfectly moving across the guitar as she barely even had to look down, even she knew her great capacity of play, this was definitely a song that deserved it’s own cover on her album but they could discuss that later, enough about work on a Friday night, especially after having to suffer through an entire karaoke party. Their eyes met and Adore felt herself completely bash up the next few chords, staring at Bianca the entire time, she embarrassingly put the guitar down before the older woman frowned, “That was fucking amazing, why did you stop?” Adore shook her head, “Messed up is all, got to me.” You did, when you fucking look at me it’s enough to mess up all my skill, how can I already be so damn fixated.  “I’m very tired.” She whispered, wiping her eyes though that wasn’t at all a little white lie, she legitmately felt brutually deprived of her rest. “If you want, and don’t tell anyone I’m being kind, you can stay in the spare guest bedroom, it’s a decent size and has a bathroom so then we can actually focus on finding you a house and I don’t have to have a constant and rampant panic attack about you getting home safe, deal? Great!” Adore couldn’t really refuse, there wasn’t any negative to this expect that she had to tell Tatianna awkwardly that she was sleeping over at her assistant’s house, you know— as professionals do.  Bianca stuffed her hands with two pillows and an extra blanket before dropping it on top of the guest bed, presenting it to Adore who could cry really, that bed looked comfortable and it was getting to be late even if her tolerance for a late night was almost always much, much higher. “If you do anything stupid clean it yourself.” She joked by the door frame before Adore grasped one of the pillows and walked near Bianca, not caring too much that she definitely leaned in to kiss her assistant of one entire week, Bianca’s hands covering Adore’s entire face as she grinned, “Sleep, don’t be fucking stupid. Good night.” She whispered before telling her she was in the other room if she needed anything. “Thank you.” Adore said loud enough for Bianca to atleast give a smile which made her entire heart burst, the door half closed and she was left with her phone and a million pillows in the midst of darkness once the living room lights were all turned off. Dammit Adore, you are so stupid.

[littlecrookedheart]

Shadows

Pairing : Clove and Elliot | Tom x Clove

Rating : Fluff, M for language

Word Count : 6,080

Author’s Note : Please take caution reading this if you are sensitive to sexual harassment (in the family of cat calling / staring.) Please take caution reading if you struggle with grief / death discussion.

Disclaimer : I do not own these characters. I’ve added a bit of a flare to them for the sake of this piece, but they do not belong to me.

Clove grabbed her phone from the bedside table, jumping up as she saw the time and Elliot’s missed messages, quickly typing back a reply. She swiped a sweater and black jeggings from her bag, running her fingers through her hair like a comb and leaving Tom with a note and a kiss on the cheek.

She pulled up to the driveway, sending her text before seeing Elliot already running up to the car, a wide smile on his face.

“You look sunny today.”

“I've been up for awhile.”

“Nope, Scooter, not what I meant. You look happy.”

Elliot shyly grinned, playing with his sleeves as she drove off down the road.

“I um...I may have asked Robbie to a dance.”

“Whaaat!”

“I know I'm not going to school with him this year but he should still go, right?”

“For sure. How'd you do it?”

“It was so dumb. I wrote it on the inside of a box of breadsticks.”

“Carbs are never dumb, first of all. Second, that's really cute!”

“You think? They're his favorite, you know the ones from that pizza place that has the best bread?”

“Yeah, the one by the spice market?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, critical question. Does he dip them in ranch, garlic sauce, or marinara?”

“How is that a critical question?”

“He's practically my brother in law-”

“Clove!”

“It matters!”

Elliot rolled his eyes and mumbled, “Garlic.”

“Ah, see? That wasn't so hard. And now he has an extra stamp of approval from your favorite me!”

“You're my least favorite you.”

“Elliot, you know how much I love you, but I will dump you out of this car.”

“Right here? Nah. We’re by that diaper place.”

“You lost me.”

“This whole area smells like a diaper.”

“No way?” Clove rolled her window down, immediately making a face and closing it. “Wow. It really does smell like a diaper.”

He chuckled, turning away to stifle the sound, “Like massive diaper.”

“I've considered it and I think that this would be the perfect Elliot dumping zone.”

-

“Welcome! Just the two of you?” The hostess perked, smiling from behind a couple of menus. Before either of them could reply, she gestured for them to follow her, leaving the menus at the table. “Your server will be over in just a moment.”

“Sit next to me, Scoot. Miss you.”

Elliot rolled his eyes and slid in the booth next to her, immediately flipping to a place in the menu full of waffles and pancakes.

A few moments later, a server came to take their order quickly dropping off drinks and a basket of toast.

“This is what I live for.”

“Toast in a basket?”

“Carbs!” Clove spread butter and jam on two pieces of toast, stacking them before taking a big bite. “I could literally just have this and I'd be content.”

“What are you gonna get?”

“I don't know! What do you think I should?”

“We've been sitting here for like ten minutes and you haven't decided what you want? I'm getting the supreme pancake thing.”

“Oh! Do they still have those birthday cake pancakes?”

“We have the birthday cake waffles,” the server said as he reappeared, pulling out his notepad. “Your birthday?”

“Nah, they just taste like dessert and I like dessert.”

“I haven't tried them but they do look delicious…” He gave her a long, full bodied once over, “Those cakes.”

Elliot looked to her with a scowl, confused.

“Not even trying to hide it, huh?”

The server moved his eyes along her curves, obviously staring at her chest. She pretended not to be bothered, zipping her jacket up higher.

“I need a sec. Scoot, go first.”

“Um...okay...I want the pancake supreme breakfast.”

“Sausage or bacon?”

“Both?”

“Okay. And for you, sweetcheeks?”

Clove started cracking up, holding a finger up to signify that she needed a moment. She stood up, facing him straight on.

“You think I'm hot, right? Do you always creepy stare at hot girls?”

“I'm not supposed to flirt on the job, sweetie-”

“'Sweetie,' my foot in your ass. I hope you like the unemployment line.”

She marched up to the front desk, pounding her fist on the wooden counter. The server quickly followed over, murmuring under his breath.

“Hi! I'd really like to see the manager. Like, head honcho. Who is in charge?”

“Ma’am, if you'll please-”

“I'm ma'am now? Twenty seconds ago I was, ‘sweet cheeks.’”

Elliot grabbed his phone to record her, a man with a large beard approaching her at the counter.

“Hello, I'm Peter. I'm the manager, what can I help you with?”

“I came here for a breakfast with my kid brother. He's right over there,” she nodded toward him, “Instead, I'm being sexually harassed by the guy that's meant to be my server.”

“Are we sure this wasn't a misunderstanding?”

“Right, I suppose I misunderstood him staring at my tits and making a comment about my ‘cakes,’ along with calling me, ‘sweet cheeks.’”

Peter's face turned a deep shade of red as he whipped around to face the server, who stood with his hands up in surrender.

“Didn't mean anything by it! If she didn't have those things out in the open like that-”

“I'm wearing a sweater, asshole. I could walk in here completely naked and you being a creep would still not be okay!” She used her hands to talk, keeping her volume cool and collected despite the rage in her eyes, “Clothes don't determine consent! Having breasts does not mean I'm dying for you to talk to me like that! You need to take a few lessons on common fucking courtesy, because my dude, you are lacking.”

“My office, Clancy. Now.”

Peter turned back to face her, shaking his head, “I am so sorry. He will be dealt with and your meal today will be free of charge.”

“Thanks, but listen, Peter. First of all, don't doubt someone when they say they're being sexually harassed. Second, he doesn't need to be, ‘dealt with,’ he needs to be fired. Keeping him employed here poses a risk to every single female patron that walks through that door with your seal of approval. That isn't an establishment most people want to support.”

As she turned away, Elliot began to clap, attracting the attention of a few other customers who joined in. She did a little twirl and bow, elbowing him as she got back in the booth.

“Tom thinks you're a badass.”

“Did you record me?”

“Yeah, because you're a badass. So I sent it to Tom.”

“Don't ever be like that guy, Scoot. You're so much better than that.”

“I'm not gonna objectify someone's body. I know how bad that is.”

“You're right. And you're smart for remembering.”

-

“You sure you're okay? That guy was a creep.”

“I'm fine! No scratches. Plus, I felt pretty brave doing what I did.”

“Yeah..you were.”

She wiped her mouth, grinning at him, “So...why do you think that area smells like diaper?”

“Dunno,” he shoved a huge bite of pancakes in his mouth, “But it didn't smell like that until after the flood.”

“Something wicked in those waters.”

Elliot glared at her, pouring more syrup over his food.

“Sorry, jeez. Something more wicked. Like poop.”

He snorted, covering his nose and mouth, “Goober, don't say, ‘poop,’ at the table.”

“Okay, dad. I forgot we can't say any of the gross words.”

Elliot’s face went slack, a weak smile slowly curling on his lips. “Dad hated that.”

“He did! He was the only one who was allowed to talk about poop while we ate.”

“I don't know why that made me really sad.”

“It’s okay, Scooter. We’re allowed to miss them.”

At the front of the restaurant, a small girl sat beside her mother, looking up as she watched her reapply her lipstick after their meal. Elliot’s gaze locked on them, his fake smile beginning to become genuine. Clove turned her head and watched them for a moment before saying, “That’s adorable.”

“I remember you used to do that with mom.”

“You do?”

“I remember when we were younger and you’d sit on the hamper in the bathroom and watch mom do her makeup. She always said, ‘Clove, draw your eyebrows as high as your hopes will take you-’”

“And when you dream, aim higher,” she joined him in unison, putting her arm around him. “I miss her.”

“Me too.”

“Remember when she’d sing to you when you were little? You’d hum along but never sing. She told you that your lungs were made to belt it out and you were doing the world and injustice by keeping it in.”

“I really can’t sing, either. She was the one doing the world and injustice by wanting me to belt it out.”

“Nah, Scoot. She just loves you.”

“Do…you believe in heaven?”

“I’ve seen enough of it to know it’s out there.”

“I don’t know if I do…but if it’s real, mom’s there. Dad too, but…mom is like the queen of the angels.”

“You know something? It might sound crazy, but-”

“Can you feel her, too?”

“Yeah. Right now, sitting across the table,” she pointed her fork to the empty spot, “Telling you that this hair looks so nice since it’s grown out.”

“She’d like Tom, I think.”

Clove’s eyes welled with tears, picturing a world in which her mother may have known him.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just bittersweet.”

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling him sniffle against her.

“Mom would love Robbie. God, Scooter. She’d be so proud of you. I know she is, wherever she is. They both are.”

“Do you think..” Elliot poked at his breakfast, choosing his words. “Do you think they’d care? Y’know…about me…liking guys?”

“I don’t have to think, I know they’d be happy to know that you were being true to yourself. I know they’d care, but only about your happiness. They’d never treat you differently.”

“Yeah…but how can you know that? It’s not like I ever got close to saying anything.”

“Because I know they didn’t mind. You know, one time I told mom that I liked girls.”

“You like girls?”

Clove shrugged, finishing off her drink, “Yeah. Not super often, but if I met a girl and I got feelings for her, I wouldn’t think any differently. One time when I was younger than you, though? I had a crush on our old neighbor. Remember Mia?”

“The girl with short hair? She was so much older than you!”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care. It was just a harmless crush, anyway. I told mom, ‘I think Mia is really hot.’ and she just laughed and said, ‘I don’t blame you.’”

“She really said that?”

“Why would I make that up?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I feel bad that we’ve mostly talked about mom.”

“Dad was great, but Scooter, me and you were always glued to mom’s hip. Of course we’re gonna have these times where we just talk about her, but we will have those times about dad, too.”

“My favorite thing about dad was his Saturday morning speech.”

“Oh, God. Kill me now.”

Elliot cleared his throat and began to do an impression. “Today is Saturday and I am going to sit right here-”

“In my pj’s-”

“And no kid or wife-”

“Is going to make me put on real pants!”

“-So if you need anything today…”

“Ask your mother or call a delivery service.”

They both stared at one another for a moment before doubling over in laughter.

“There is no question where we get our humor from.”

“Hey, Clove? I know we can’t visit their gravestones…not today, at least. But could we do something for them?”

“Whatcha have in mind?”

“Maybe we could write notes and burn them or something.”

“Huh. Okay. You ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

Clove pulled her jacket on, slipping a twenty dollar bill to Elliot.

“What’s that for?”

“Being you. But can you run up and get grandpa’s to go? It’s free like the rest of this meal, thanks to Clancy.“

He made his way to the counter to grab the order while Clove pulled out her phone, swiping through a photo album she had complied of she and Elliot with their parents through the years. He met her back at the table and slid the change under his glass for a tip, looking over her shoulder.

“Come on, Goob. Let’s go.”

-

“Just up that hill.”

Elliot pointed ahead to a pathway of trees, dead and barren from Winter’s wrath, the surrounding woods plush with evergreens. Atop the hill sat a dead patch of grass, remnants of a bonfire still smoking at a makeshift fire pit.

“Someone had fun here last night,” Clove smiled, “I love bonfires.”

“Actually…that was me. I came up here to think.”

A look of concern crossed her face as she sat on the ground next to him, bumping his knee with her own.

“You’re not just playing with fire…right?”

“No, I swear. I just got the idea from the fire last night. Watching the branches and sticks curl up and basically just become ash? It..it was like..why can’t bad memories do that, too?”

“Because memories are a part of us.”

“I wish not all of them were.”

“Tom told me something once that helped me a lot. Can I share it with you?”

Elliot nodded, pulling his beanie off. He stretched it in his hands, looking into the distance.

“We are the people we are. Our grandpa is the guy who was involved with the cult. Our parents..were murdered by that cult. We can’t run from it, but we have to remember that it doesn’t define us.”

“I don’t know if I know what you mean.”

“When you look at me, do you see any of that?”

“No.”

“What do you see?”

“My sister. That’s it.”

“Exactly, Scooter. Because we aren’t our past. Nobody should ever look at you and see those things, especially yourself. You were amazing before, during, and now, after all of that. You aren’t, ‘Elliot, kid who almost died however many times.’ You’re Elliot, my baby brother. You’re smart, you’ve got a great head on your shoulders. You’re a big sweetie-”

“Don’t push it.”

“…Even though you don’t believe it.”

“Thanks, Clove. I guess you’re right. I don’t think Robbie is anything like his dad or something..that’s kind of similar, right?”

“Yeah, it’s similar.”

Elliot laid back, folding his arms under his head. Clove joined him, watching the overcast sky as the clouds drifted along. She thought of the moments in between the sadness, taking her brother’s hand in her own.

“We made it.”

“Yeah, we did, didn’t we?”

“And we’re gonna keep on making it. Somewhere up there in all of those clouds, mom and dad are there. They’re looking at us now and they’re proud, I can feel it in my heart.” She placed a hand to her chest, choking back tears, “One day in a couple years, you’re gonna graduate high school, and you’re gonna look in the seats and wish they were there. It’s gonna feel like acid in your heart, but I need you to know something.”

She turned to him, wiping her eyes with her other hand, “I swear to you, no matter what you feel, they will be there. I will be there. You still have a family, okay?”

Elliot dove forward, embracing her tightly.

“Why did they have to leave, Clove?”

She squeezed her eyes, desperate to hold back her emotions as he sobbed in her arms. Be strong. Be strong.

“I don’t know, Scooter. They are right here with us, right now,” she wiped his tears, pressing her hand over his, aligning it at his heart, “You can’t tell me you don’t feel that.”

“I’m so scared..I-” he buried his face in his hands, “It’s been this long and I’m still so scared to lose you, too.”

“I’m not going anywhere. You hear me? I’m not leaving.” Clove’s arms wrapped around him, rocking back and forth as she began to hum, her touch maternal against his heartache. “We’re okay, Elliot. Breathe with me,” she said, her voice soft. She inhaled deeply, waiting for him to mirror her, slowing down his sobs one breath at a time.

Once he’d gone quiet, her humming the only sound against the blowing wind, she kissed the crown of his head and tightened her embrace.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He sat up, using his sleeves to wipe his face.

“Still wanna burn a note?”

“Yeah.”

She dug through her purse, taking out a miniature journal and a pen. She scribbled something of her own and handed him the items, digging a book of matches from her things.

“Do you want me to read it?” Elliot asked, pulling his hat back on.

“Only if you want to. I didn’t think you would.”

“Um…Doctor Ripley…wants me to be more open with you.”

Their therapist, a kind, plump man with thinning hair and very large, square glasses, had been working with Elliot twice weekly over the past year and a half. Clove joined him in seeing a therapist, sometimes the same, sometimes a tall woman with a harsh smokers rasp and eyes like a river. Always helpful, regardless - and she was delighted to see that Elliot, too, was having a good experience.

“Okay.”

He took a shaky breath and cleared his throat before starting, “Mom and Dad…I’m not mad anymore. I’m sorry that I was. I didn’t know how to..how to think about you actually not being here anymore. I kept..thinking about you, hoping we could go home again. I think it took me this long to let you go..and I just want to. I want to let you go. I love you so much…but you deserve to be free.”

Clove swiped the matchstick along the panel, placing the flame along the edge of his note. He dropped it, watching as it blew to the blackened pile of sticks. Once it dissipated, it was nothing but a clipping the size of a snowflake, and it floated off with the breeze.

“I’ll go now.”

She dug the tip of her boot into the dirt, doing her best to keep her eyes from flooding.

“Mom…Dad..”

Elliot placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling her body tremble beneath his touch. “You don’t have to, Goob.”

“It’s okay. Mom, Dad…you taught me love for so long I never actually realized that one day, I wouldn’t feel yours anymore. I just want to say thank you for Elliot…”

He looked to her, his brows bent in confusion.

“Thank you for Elliot because when I look at him, your love is everywhere. All around me. And I don’t think I could live without him for one second.”

She lit a new match, placing her note on the embers.

“I didn’t write this..but I want to add something. Grandma Josephine…wherever you are, thank you for my mom. Because she has always been an angel, and me and Elliot miss her so much. I wish I could have met you before you were hurt. But all of you…Elliot’s right. We have to let you go. You have to be free.” Clove reached for her brother’s hand, looking to the sky. “We’ll always love you.”

“Always.”

Their hands linked as they looked to the sky, taking in the crisp air. Elliot reached to hug her again, his eyes going wide as he broke away, “Grandpa’s breakfast!”

“Oh, shit! Okay, ready? I’m ready.”

-

She waved goodbye as Elliot ran inside, dodging many beginning drops of rain. She pulled up Tom’s contact and called him, leaning her head back against the seat rest.

“Hello, beautiful.”

“Hey. You busy?”

“Nope. Did Elliot tell you he sent me a video of you absolutely slaying that-”

“Tommy?”

Her voice was breaking, chest riddled in emotion and a heavy sound of tears.

“What’s wrong, angel?”

“I just really need you right now.”

“Okay, I’m here. Want me to meet you anywhere?”

“Are you home?”

“Yeah. Come over.”

“I’m gonna take a minute to myself and I’ll be on my way.”

“I’ll come pick you up if you need me to. Can you drive?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“It’s gonna be okay, my love. See you when you get here.”

-

Tom hung up the phone, scrubbing his face with his palm before sending Elliot a text.

He grabbed his keys and ran outside, speeding to the farmers market down the street before Clove arrived. Nearly slipping on the slick sidewalk, he pummeled through the door, running into an elderly woman who was sweeping the floor. The air smelled of fresh produce and rain, his eyes scanning around for plants and flowers.

“You okay there, son?”

“Yeah! Sorry, I slipped.”

“You’re in a real hurry.”

“The love of my life is on her way over and she’s bawling her eyes out. I need flowers. Can you point me-”

“What kind?”

Tom pulled his phone out to verify the texts from Elliot.

“Red carnations and white daisies.”

“You want the mini carnations?”

“What looks better?”

“The mini ones.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

The woman gathered a bundle of flowers and wrapped them in newspaper, tying a ribbon around the base.

“Wait, what are those tiny tiny white little things that come with flowers? On green branches?”

“Baby’s breath. I’ll add some.”

“Thank you!” He pulled out his wallet, but she shooed him away.

“You came in here and nearly bowled me over. I asked if you were okay and you didn’t say, ‘a girl I like,’ or, ‘my girlfriend,’ you said the love of your life.”

“Yeah?”

“Young people finding that is something special. On the house.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, yeah, now you go on.”

Tom smiled and ran out the door, jumping in the car.

When he pulled up to his apartment, sheets of rain blanketed the sky, Clove’s car nowhere to be seen. Safe, he thought, darting from the car to the front door, pushing it open to see her already sitting on the couch, her hair and sweater soaking wet.

He set the bouquet down along with his keys and grabbed a towel from the hall closet, pulling the throw blanket off the back of the couch.

Her eyes were rimmed in red, face puffy from her tears. He pulled her into an embrace, holding her tight as she collapsed in his arms, crying with all of her might.

“I’m here, I’m here.”

-

Once her crying slowed, he unfolded the towel, scrunching her curls within it to dry them. Lifting her sweater over her head, he dried her skin, draping the blanket around her shoulders.

“Don’t go anywhere. I’m gonna get you a top.”

She nodded, sniffling, using her sweater to wipe her face.

Tom shuffled through his drawers, finding an oversized t-shirt and a washcloth, stopping by the bathroom to warm up the cloth before heading back to her spot on the couch.

“Okay. Hand me that towel?”

He took it from her, drying the top of her back and spots on her hair he’d missed as he stood behind her, unhooking her bra before handing her the shirt. He smoothed his hands over her shoulders, running his fingers along the imprint of her bra straps, noting the indentation across her back where the band rested.

She pulled the top on, kicking off her jeans as she nestled into the corner of the couch, Tom squeezing his way next to her. He wiped her face with the washcloth and kissed her cheek, pulling her into his embrace.

“You know..when I was little before Elliot was born, sometimes my mom and I would order pizza and have a girls night. She’d bake cookies and play with my hair…”

Tom zoned out for a second, her hair in his hands as she told this story, her voice aching in grief. And back to reality, he took her hand, kissing the top of it.

“…It was just…everything.”

“Missing them extra today?”

“Yeah. Elliot and I talked about them and it was so nice but just..I can’t help but be heartbroken when I think about some things.”

“Do you want to tell me about those things?”

“Graduation. I know it was just a sheet of paper, but I did it, you know? They weren’t there. They won’t be there when I open my store. They…”

She choked on her words, tears spilling from her eyes again. Tom’s own eyes began to water as he wrapped her in his arms even tighter, easing her through the moment.

“If I ever get married, I- I always dreamed of them being there. And I know I have Elliot, I just…it’s not the same. I dreamt of it my whole life, Tommy. They’ll never be there. They won’t see me fall in love with you every single day. They won’t see it if I…what if we have a baby one day? How can I explain to my kids how amazing they were, but ‘sorry, you’ll never meet them?’ It’s just…it’s not fair. And I’m angry!” Her voice grew louder, “I’m so mad and I’m so fucking upset because I deserved them to be there. I deserved them holding my hands as I walked down the aisle. I’m angry and I’m sad and I feel like my chest is caving in.”

Tom rubbed her back, gently holding her to his chest.

“It’s not fair. You’re right. It’s the opposite of fair. But you know what you’re forgetting? They see you, Clove. You know they do.”

“Seeing me from another plane doesn’t make me feel less alone.”

“It’s know, baby. I wish I could mend your heart a million times over. Let me see those eyes.”

She looked to him and gave him a small, sad smile.

“They’re so fucking proud of you. Look at you, you’re a powerhouse. Not only are you a total badass, you’re an amazing artist. You have the best heart. The best head on your shoulders. You’re everything, Clove. And if for one second you ever feel alone, remember that you will always, always have my heart and soul. Plus, you know what? You can be pissed off. Throw something, kick a wall in, punch me in the face! It’s justified. You are allowed to be angry!”

She blinked a few times in a deadpan stare, “Did you just yell at me to punch you in the face?”

“Yes. Punch me, baby. If you feel better after beating the shit out of someone, I’ll volunteer.”

She giggled, his laughter joining hers.

“I’d never hurt you. I just…I’m so..”

“You don’t have to explain. I’m gonna be here every step of the way, even if that means making you laugh at me.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Because you’re the love of my life. Oh! Speaking of.”

He hopped up and grabbed the flowers, handing her the bouquet.

“Tommy…”

“Do you like them?”

He kneeled on the floor next to her, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

“They’re perfect. My mom…you..you remembered?”

“Elliot helped me out, but yeah. I remembered the story where she put them in every window on your birthday. You said that’s where you got that from…and if you have kids, you’ll do the same for them.”

She held them to her chest and kissed him, his lips like feathers against her own, the warmth of his love radiating from where he knelt.

“I’m gonna love you forever.”

“I’m gonna love you for even longer. And so do they. Their love for you is limitless, angel. They see you. They’re proud of you. They love you.”

“I’m wish they could have met you.”

“Me too.”

-

Late in the evening, Tom stood in the open doorway, listening to the birds sing after the storm. Clove sat curled up on the couch, streaming YouTube videos on Tom’s laptop as she munched on Doritos.

“Do you mind if I ask Elliot over to stay the night with us? I just really want him here.”

“Absolutely. I’ll text him and pick him up.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“It’s cool. We can get dinner on the way back.”

He sent the text, stepping inside to put his shoes on.

“Your hair looks nice like that.”

“What, like wild? You just like it down.”

“I do. You can’t blame me, you look like some fancy poet.”

“Now, that’s a compliment I’ll take. Elliot says he’ll be ready in fifteen. I should head over. What do you want food wise?”

“Can I say…junk? I want junk.”

“I can do that. Toppings?”

“You know me so well. Just a bunch of cheese…and some of that garlic bread?”

“Say no more, my lady. I’ll tell him to text when we’re on the way.”

“Tommy?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, angel.”

-

After picking up Elliot and a massive order of pizza, Tom pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store, taking the key from the ignition.

“Ice cream?”

“Hell yeah!”

Tom chuckled, raising his eyebrows. “Okay, what kind?”

“Anything chocolate.”

“You…really, really are Clove’s brother.”

“What of it?! Can you get me some tea? I have mone-”

“Shut up, dork. I don’t want your money. Do you also have a weird flavored tea addiction? I’m grabbing raspberry while I’m in here anyway.”

“I might like it.”

“I might dump it on you when I get back then. Put that money away.”

Elliot stuffed the bill back in his pocket, trying not to grin as widely as he was.

At Tom’s return, he grabbed the grocery bags, sifting through them to eye the items inside.

“You’re like, a really good boyfriend.”

“What do you say that for?”

“Clove is lucky to have you. She had a bad day and you went like,” he gestured with his hands, “Massively all out. People don’t usually do that.”

“I’m in love with her. That’s what you do when someone you love is hurting.”

“Thanks for being there for her. I know she loves you like that, too.”

“Can I…Elliot, I really want to tell you something. But it can’t make it back to Clove.”

“Okay?”

“Um..I have been thinking and I just-”

“Watch out!”

Tom slammed on the brake just in time to avoid a loose dog sprinting down the road, owners chasing behind.

“Who does that!”

“This town isn’t ever boring, huh?”

“I feel like I almost shit my heart out.”

“Same.”

They parked in Tom’s parking spot, unhooking their seat belts simultaneously.

“I’ll get the bags if you get the boxes?” Elliot smiled, reaching behind him to grab the few grocery bags they’d gotten.

-

“So wait, your mom was this jack of every trade, and your dad sold cars?”

“He said he’d been selling cars since he was seventeen.” Elliot chimed, slurping what was left of his ice cream.

“It sounds so boring!”

“Mom was the magic, dad was…the stage?”

“Scooter, what does that even mean?”

“Like, mom was all lights and colors, ya know? But dad was just stable. And he always would support her.”

“That…was a great metaphor. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“You should be.”

“Oh! Another time, mom came in from being out all morning and called a family meeting-”

“Oh my god.”

“You remember, Scoot? Oh yeah. She came in with this old, hideous, weird beaded wedding dress from the thrift shop. She said she needed to work her magic and it would be as good as new.”

“Was it?”

Clove and Elliot looked to each other and said, “No!”

Elliot laughed, “She made it big enough for the neighbors dog. That’s it! Mia, right Clove? Her first girl crush.”

“I’ve heard of Mia.”

“What? You have?”

“He’s my boyfriend, Elliot, what did you expect? He just had no idea?”

“Maaaybe?”

“Nah, she told me about Mia the same day I told her about-”

“Ben Park.”

“The comic guy?”

“Yeah, and Tom’s first guy crush.”

“You like guys?”

“I don’t really have a preference. I’d be into anyone who made the world light up, but I don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

He kissed Clove sweetly, pulling away quickly as not to annoy Elliot.

“Wow. This is actually really cool to know. I guess..I guess more people get it than I thought.”

“You’re never alone, man. Even if it feels like it.”

“You guys are cooler than I give you credit for. Can we do this again sometime? Maybe Robbie could have dinner with us.”

“We can do this any time. My place is open to both of you whenever.”

“Oh…speaking of. Scooter, what do you think about me moving a town over?”

“Why?”

“We’ve just been thinking about finding somewhere-”

“Like you guys living together? That’d be cool. We could do this more. Plus, you could give me my dresser back that you took to your studio.”

“If we can, we’ll get a place big enough for you to have your own room for when you’re over. And close enough to not really make a difference, like less than an hour.”

“Really?” Elliot laid back against the couch, “Cool.”

Tom pulled an array of blankets from the closet, tossing them behind him.

“What are you doing, baby?”

“Fort time.”

“Oh my god! For real? Scooter, when was the last time we built a fort?!”

“Like your birthday that one year?”

“Oh boy. I love forts.”

They spent the next thirty minutes layering blankets over the furniture, tossing them over one another, laughing until their sides hurt. Finally, after many slips and fumbles, the three of them settled in beneath the fort, television streaming old Adam Sandler comedies.

-

“Elliot’s out officially,” Tom whispered, “We had fun tonight, didn’t we?”

“So much fun.”

“It’s kinda funny, when I was talking to him in the car before we got the food, he had much of the same sentiments as you regarding your parents. Like…different experiences, but still saw them the same way.”

He climbed behind her, holding her close.

“Elliot and I wrote them notes and burned them today. But we read them out loud and it…was nice.”

“If I could say one thing to them, I’d thank them for giving the world someone like you.”

“My mom would cry.”

“That’s where you got that from.”

“Hey! You love that about me.”

“I do. I love every piece of you.”

“Thank you for being here for me..for loving me. For loving him,” she nodded to her snoring brother, “He needs people like you in his life.”

“He’s a part of you. Of course I love him. I’ll always be here for him, too.”

“You’re amazing.”

She kissed him, sweet pecks, silently pulling beautiful affections from within him. Tom held her into the night, gently singing to her as she fell asleep. He grabbed his phone, going to her social media and scrolling down to find photos of them that she’d posted.

He felt his chest swell with emotion, blinking away fresh mist. He closed the app and looked toward the ceiling, imagining their faces as happy as they were in the photo. With a voice as low as a whisper, he said, “I’ll never be able to thank you for everything you’ve given me. I want to…I love her more than anything. I want to marry her so badly. I hope that if she says yes…if she says yes, I hope you’d approve. I hope I can make her as happy as she deserves. And I’ll be anything I can to Elliot. I swear to you, he has my heart, too. I’ll help him. I’ll guide him. Whatever I can do. Thank you…from the bottom of my heart…for these two. They’re my family.”

And he dozed away, his cheek resting in a bed of Clove’s hair, their fingers laced together. This night was full of quiet love, happy, happy love - the light of the moon dancing across the walls, much like the slow fade of two lingering silhouettes watching over them.

[thegirlwhowrotelove-blog]

Mess’n With Tha Funk Ch. 4

Nayla P.o.V

"Wake up, come on sleeping beauty" Stella said tripping over her shoes while putting her jeans on hoping side to side balancing. I looked up at the clock and realized what time it was I hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom "Why didn't your alarm turn on"? Stella said as I opened the bathroom door and put toothpaste on my toothbrush and started brushing "Well I thought I did" I said as I looked at the sink water running around the sink.

"It's fine a late tardy will be okay" Stella said "My dad isn't going to kill me yet" She said under her breath as she brushed her hair back and put it in a bun.

Personally I met Stella online, PenPal site  and I started talking to her of course the time difference was strange but we managed and when we couldn't managed we've always found our ways. Stella would always answer her phone to a certain person or people in Korean sadly I can't speak it so it's hard. I never met Stella's mom or dad I don't even know if she has siblings or not but it's okay or whatever because this is my first year with her and I don't blame her for keeping things too personal.

"Come on LA" She said as she grabbed her car keys pressing the unlock button to her car as we heard the car noise and the flashing lights "Okay it's 07:10 am we're good okay" She said taking a deep breath "It'll only take us about 20 minutes to get there if we take this route to Yonsei but if we cut there here then maybe depending on the traffic, okay we're going to be just fine" She said as she started up the car and drove.

"Calm down Stella" I said looking at her with a smile as she looked at me and chuckled "Sorry this isn't like me to just be late or little late I've always been early and perfectly on time" She said as I looked at her "Well nobody's perfect but it doesn't mean to doubt yourself neither so the good thing about life is you keep smiling" I said as she chuckled a little more "What"? I said

"Why such a basic quote" She said as I looked at her "Basic Quote"? I replied

"Yeah you know keep your head up type of quotes" She said "Those quotes you looked up for your instagram post like back in 2014 those type of basic quotes" She included and started to laugh.

"Oh you got jokes" I said as she laughed and I couldn't help but to laugh at how she reacted.

***

"Okay so 12 pm I'll meet you here for our little lunch and what time do you need to be at work"? Stella said putting her purse over her shoulder and her books under her chest while she fixed her look in the reflection of the car window.

"I think at 6:30pm-12pm" I said as she looked up at me and stood there

"12pm!, Don't they care about your education I need to talk to my dad....." She paused "Well you need to talk to them about that because that is so unhealthy I mean it's stupid in my point of view. She said walking beside me.

"I don't mind I think I can handle it" I said as I carried my small designed flower book bag on my back and clicking my Iphone on and off.

"It doesn't matter what you say verbally LA the only thing that matters if it's healthy for you" Stella said.

I forgot she was a different major than me then again she's good in communication, Stella Majors in Law Enforcement which I'm not surprised this girl loves to argue.

"Look call that stupid boss of yours LA and tell him about your health because that is stupid" She said as she split ways as I waved to her and said "Okay".

***

Walking into my class was like walking into a stadium.. okay maybe I'm over thinking it but I don't like being late and walking into a full class even tho EWHA has about a 50 class rate of students in just one class this place feels like it's more than just 50. I stepped to the second row like mid-row because I don't know I feel "Complete" when I'm in the middle I sat down put my bag on my side and pulled out my notebook and my laptop and sat it on my desk.

"Seat taken"? a manly voice said as I looked up "Um no it's fine you can seat here" I said as he excused himself and sat right beside me.

He was handsome, very handsome like too much of handsome in his genes

"Media and Communications, this class is really big for it to be 50 students, Guess some people really want this teacher" He said with a smirk I didn't say anything to him nor looked at him because I had nothing to say to him it would've been awkward shit it was already awkward.

"Oh sorry, my name is Ruiji Wang nice to meet you" He said as he held his hand out and smiled.

I looked at his hand and it felt like I was forced to shake his hand in good manner and I did my mom didn't raise me to not have manners. I held on his hand as he placed his opposite hand on top of mine and bowed which made me blush he was good looker.  

"Um sorry my name is Nayla but my friends call me LA" I said as he looked at me "Hello LA first time in South Korea" he said as I looked at him and nodded "Yep, well I've been here a couple of times but I'm getting gifs of things" I said calmly as the teacher walked in.

"HELLO CLASS, Day 2 of Media and Communications"

***

I started to finish up my last bit of notes that I took from my phone because these professors don't play. I walked out of class as I heard someone calling my name I turned around and it was the Ruiji he put his cap on his head and quickly walked towards me.

"Hey... Are you busy tonight"? He said as I looked at him

"Me.. umm yeah I have work" I said as I looked at his dark brown eyes

"Well when ever you don't have work maybe I can take you out to eat some time whenever you're free"?

I looked at him blankly in his face and frozen up for me to be such a "Attractive woman" I sure do know how to pull this one off it's just he's so good looking once I thought I good looking man like him was talking to me I looked at him "Sure" and once I said that I was smiling as if he put a little love spell on me.

"Okay, I'll see you soon" He said as I watched him and waved at him bye.

I sat down looking at my phone clicking it on and off and looked at the time 12pm and right when I looked up Stella was walking her way looking as if she was born from a diamond.

"At least your early to our little meeting" I said as I got up and fixed myself

"At least your early to our little meeting" I said as I got up and fixed myself

"Shockingly, stupid teacher thinks she can give the whole entire class a project on the second day I didn't know we were back in High School" She said as I chuckled.

"Did you call your job"? She said as I looked at her "Um No maybe you could drop me off" I said as she groaned to the sky.

"I understand you're trying to like make money be your own person and what not but jesus LA you're a freshman in College this is your year to take a break" She said as I looked at her

"I know Stella but how would I learn besides I'm trying aren't I" I said as I walked to her car and unlocked it as we got in "okay" she said as she turned up the radio.

***

Stella dropped me off as I looked at the cafe sign and I signed as well "Work" at least I'm not working at dominos. I walked in and it was so packed oh yeah I think they will be needing me tonight "HEY NEWBIE" the girl said as I tried to focus on who was calling me she was a real pretty female to she jumped over the counter "Annyeong" she said as she stopped herself with a gasped "I mean HEY" she said as I chuckled "Annyeong is the only korean word I know so far" I said as she chuckled raising her voice for me to hear over the laughter and chatter.

"Come back here I'll show you around" She said grabbing my hand and pulling me to her location and showing me the magic behind it all "OKAAAYYYY Newbie you got a name"? She said as I looked at her as she turned around and flipped her long black hair.

"Nayla but feel free to call me LA" I said with a smile she looked at me "you have a nice smile no wonder Zuko hired you, okay so here are the cooks Gray, Tokyo Hemi" I looked at these dudes and I've never seen such beautiful men in my life did I really just step in a new world were only beautiful people lived I waved as they nodded their heads up "They talk a lot but today isn't a good day for them. In my mind I was totally fangirling "SOOOOO COOOL"

"Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite" "Okay so now the baristas Jennie, Lani, Genesis and Taylor they're the social ones always welcome to party with them they don't bite"

*Jennie below*

*Tokyo and Gray Hemi*

*Lani Below*

*Genesis Below*

*Taylor Below*

"Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food "Super Cool" I said in my head as my eyes showed everything, they took orders some admired their looks while others were just here for the food. "Okay come on they're pretty cool too but I love this place more, the cashier spot plot" She said as bowed "I'm Rania, head of the first cashier been working here since I was 16 so I'm pretty familiar with things all of these people you see in here have been working here with me since 16 years old so this is a family and your welcomed. "So it's me Rania of course, Zuko when he gets here, Jun the real bad boy over there making those adorable girl's tea and my favorite couple in here Miro and Jillian which they should be here right about now".

Rania looked at the time as Miro and Jillian walked in together "Hello Rania don't break down, the power couple is here" Miro said as Jillian hugged him "Looks like we finally got a newbie thank GOD I hate seeing the same dang people" Jillian said with a laugh. They both signed in and greeted me with a smile which was cute because now I ship them forever.

*Rania below*

*Jun Below*

*Miro and Jillian*

*Zuko Below*

"Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She ... "Well that's us, let me get you signed in and I'll start training you right away" she said as she paced back and forth handing me a appearan "Okay so we're gonna keep you up front no one wants to not see a pretty smile like yours? Right Jun"? She said as Jun looked at me and kept working "He can be a little ass once and awhile but it's fine we have those moments".

"Is it always this busy"? I asked as Miro looked at me handing me a cup of iced nino black coffee "Ummm I would say yes and I would say no depending on kpop stars and actors and actresses that come in here once and awhile I suppose a boy band is here today"?  Genesis came up front "Yeah a boy band alright, man did it's crazy out there I would kill to have that attention" He said putting down his tip book on the counter.

"Cute boy group wonder who it is"? Taylor said as her cheeks got bigger "Monsta X ohhhhh what if it is Monsta X"? She said exciting.

"How much you wanna bet it's not Monsta X"Genesis said as Taylor looked at him.

"Why wouldn't it be Monsta X" She pleaded as he looked at her and chuckled.

"Look I'm a good looking guy Monsta X wouldn't come all the way over here to just get a big ass cookie and coffee when they can go to their own company cafe" Genesis said as we watched the group of girls scatter.

"So you guys have famous people coming in here like regular"? I asked as they looked at me

"Um yeah, see some girls freak out when they see kpop stars or actresses and actors and some don't we get autographs" Rania said.

"We get photos" Lani said as she looked at the wall of celebrities

"Even Lee Dong Wook Phone number" Jennie said as they all looked at her

"Lee Dong Wook has better options than you Jennie" Genesis said as everyone laughed.

"Can a girl dream one day I will achieve that goal" Jennie said as they kept laughing.

"I bet it's Got7" Jun said as we all looked at him.

"Well it could be Got7" Jillian agreed as we walked over the counter and sorted things out.

"I heard BamBam changed his hair to red" Taylor said as she drunk her tea

"EW why red I loved him with his blonde hair" Jennie said as they sat on the counters it started to get a little quiet which I realized I didn't really do anything but talk to these people which I had no problem and I listened to all the side conversations.

"Jackson is so cute with blonde hair, Hey LA which Got7 member do you like"? Rania asked as they all looked at me I looked at them and chuckled.

"If only I knew got7" I said silently as Rania looked at me "WOW you really didn't come to South Korea to find your Kpop crush meet him and hopefully marry him huh" Miro said as Jillian hit his chest.

"Like a Kdrama I love those but I'm not really into Kpop" I said as Jennie looked at me "You're lying" She said as I laughed "Yeah" I looked at their faces and it was in total shock.

"Got7"? I said as they showed me a picture of all of them "OHHHHHHH GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS" they looked at me and busted into laughter "WHAT" I said as Taylor mocked me "Seriously you don't know got7 do you know who BTS is or Sexy OPPAS EXO"? She said as I nodded my head.

"Yeah I know BTS and EXO I just well it didn't come to mind" I said shyly "Well at least you're not familiar with them at least you know what you came here for instead of chase the guy of your dreams" Jun said as they looked at me "Well that was a good laugh but we need to take you to concerts so you'd get into that korean drama mood what type of guys you like huh"? Taylor said as  Tokyo and Gray came to the front with us "Apparently Asian men" they said as Jennie coughed on her drink.

"I watched this youtube video of these kpop artist enjoying a little chocolate so I'm just putting out some facts" Tokyo said with a wink of the eye I blushed as they looked at me "Why do you think she moved to South Korea if anything she could've moved to England there's varieties" Gray said playing with Lani hair. "I can hook you up with some of my people that love that chocolate magic or we can hook up"? Tokyo said as Rania got up and stopped the conversation "OKAY Zuko is back everyone up, up, up she said as I blushed even harder.

Wow this was interesting day