#i cna fix this.
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yes you do. every single action you have taken up to this point will lead to him detesting you. you want him to hate you as much as you hate yourself. you want everyone to want you dead as much as you want yourself dead. you’re an open fucking book, and i’m the only person who cares enough to skim your pages.
He doesn’t have to know that. Nobody else has to know that.
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I want a loser twink bf and a loving, sweet, and perfect gf.
LIKE THESE. YUTA IS SO PERFECT AND KIARA OMG I LOVE HER/THEM SM!! I LOVE KANGEL SM AS WELL!!! ♡♡♡♡♡☆☆☆☆
#🦈gawr's fine!#i have different taste for men and women. msotly in real life though!!#like i will clean and do house wife stuff for those types of men and women#idk i super tired right now and i saw a video about types and boom#i also fisn unstable men and wkmen fine like omg i cna fix u... no i cnat and u wil probs ruin my mental health more!!!
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to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.
when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.
but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.
#anyways cna u tell im kinda going thru it LOL#ive always been a toxic person thats why ive sort of secluded myself from society i avoid human contact w non household members as much as#possible bcuz i feel honestly like im a ticking time bomb that just hurts everything i touch#i dont think its fair to have to have someone deal w my shit when its such an emotional turmoil so even though i want friends im making my#peace w the fact that i like honestl dont really deserve rhem? ik this seems MOPEY but its like this is my geniune non like baiting thoughts#i was an abuser in high school and in an abusive relationship where for the first half i was the perpetrator. i hit my ex and u know i dont#even have anything to add to it other than it was fucked up. i was selfish in bed and sex addicted and sometimes did anything for my fix.#i will and cannot lie about my past as being a shitty person. its scary to say and post but i have to be honest thats who i was that IS a#part of my history as much as i wish i could i cannot erase.#i dont rly even know what to add here honestly. just watching mias vid got me thinking u know#there is more to this story ofc the same ex i was abusive to was also abusive to me it was just split into segments. like i was the problem#for the first year and a half then it switched to them but its not rly rhe best place 2 share that story when im talking about my mistakes#im not trying to detract here i just want 2 get this shit off my chest again. ive talked about it before but not since remaking a few times#anyways i dont have any excuses well i mean i can pull a bunch out but im not going to cuz at the end of the day i shouldve known better#than to be a bitch when i knew i was being a bitch u know?#being the bad guy is a constant struggle where u will have to really really fucking fight yourself tooth and nail to change and i want to be#that person. i want to be someone who can be 100% honest about how shit i was to myself and others (which i do already do to my friends)#hopefully this makes sense idk anyways if ur struggling with being abusive or toxic im here for u. u can get through this and you can be a#good person it is within ur hands i promise u#ok love u goodnight#personal
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kinda wanna buy yiik just for the lols but i can sense it is something i would become genuinely obsessed with under like 20 layers of irony
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P4G Voice Clip Collection (PC 32bit .xwb)
happy women's day !!! here's all of P4G's voice clips from the PC 32bit's xwbs. I say PC 32bit since they did change a bunch of the files and formats in the latest 64bit update, but nonetheless.
I've got the voice clips re-encoded and uploaded individually on cloud. You can still do a clean rip of the game's files if these are unsatisfactory though.
I've also got spreadsheets of file names, IDs and a bit of extra notes to better distinguish them and track them down. If you wanna help with labeling and recording just hit me up! Go help the modding community or people who just wanna nag voice lines (because i dont think i have the time anymore 🛌 one man army)
Cloud Folder (JP & EN; more details in the spreadsheets)
ROOT (JP) - Published Web Page - View as spreadsheet
ROOT_E (EN) - Published Web Page - View as spreadsheet
#persona 4 spoilers#persona 4#p4#fyle#// ALL THE AUDIO IS HERE AND THEY'RE PROPERLY NAMED YAYY 🎉🎉🎉#// if you have any more questions or that the links or files arent working you can also hit me up here !!#// sorry for the shitty formatting on this one compared to all my other spreadsheets. i hope someone cna fix it for me <3#// theres over 20k files in here but not excluding all the silent placeholder or repeating clips (yosuke laughing 4 times in a row)#// if you dont want to unpack the xwb or deal with the adx2 folder you can hit me up for what i unpacked and you can#// re-encode it yourself ?? but idk man i unpacked these 2 years ago i think you can do it better LMAO#// no i dont have the bgm or comse with me so you wont get the TV listings clips or sound effects sorryy#// there's links for the spreadsheet itself and the published html because it's so big it crashes when i try to view it on laptop#// so i have the webpage so it actually LOADS .💥#// you can see what's properly documented and understand my brain damage
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the 21st may very well be the "indo-pacific century" but it doesnt matter if the west still holds all the power
#mine#in which i reflect on a few cna documentaries#tbh the biggest thing ive learnt from my ponderings#is that india really really needs to be fixed#if they get themselves together they could probably enter the world stage fully#if asia was one big cooperative bloc with good relations#ah well. its a dream
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i am REFUSING!!! to believe that this wasn't a genuine moment of vulnerability. for my own sorry little gay heart, i have to believe that, despite the fact that she is a raging bitch, she was just genuinely in love with me here
#shes IN LVOE WITH ME!!!!!!!#I CNA FIX HERRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the stuttering through the text. ohm#this horrible cheesy fucking dating sim#i miss it. i miss it so much#lotus rambles#* 🐍 / you believe me like a god .
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i changed my theme while disastourously high and now dont like it much at all. Hm...
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#love life rn#but anyway! do not fret i have. Solutions to my problems &this is one of them#/hj btw. its temporary. i cna Fix things
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i wanna enjoy luca stuff and talk with people about it why does half of the active fandom have to be people that make me so incredibly nervous
#i also need to figure out why i cna be incredibly happy one day and then want to actively kill myself the next day#like hey doctors i think something might still be wrong can we maybe fix it instead of saying its anxiety bc ill do it one day!#and itll be your fault
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was supposed to be over a week ago but shit happened teehee but anyway. sending my computer out to hopefully be repaired today. computerless.....
#its under waranty so if they CANT fix it im supposed to get a check. well i guess an amazon gift card lol.#which blows. but i guess my fucking bad. last time they just straight up sent me a check and i didnt see where the policy had changed#so like originally i was gonna be happy either way cause i was gonna use the check to build a nice desktop#now idk how possible thatll be...#so i really hope they cna just fix it i guess.#really anxious In General about it though.....like what if it gets damaged in the mail.......#it says its air shipping so hopefully thatll be gentle on it but aughhhh#im so anxious abt expensive machine. wonder fucking why
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ON THE WAY HOME LETS GOOOOO
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positive shitposting
(you are fantastic)
(you are amazing)
(you are incredible)
#i dont know#still havent fixed the account yet#dont know how#but hay now my comments and messages arnt glitched so that's great#i might reblog all my stuff from the og blog#just in case#idk i hope soon i cna fix this#have these weird shitpost things for know#idk man
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Yee I got the diolouge before "the punch" and I was sad that Des didnt punch back bc cmon babygirl ur litterally one of the best assassins at this point give that shithead a right hook and U said u would😭
Anyway Shauns email afterwards was bs too and tbh changed my view of Shaun a bit "he was with u all the time when u were in coma🥺 he means well" as if that magically fixes it
Okay so in ac3 one of the conversations you can have with bill goes something like this:
"Hey dad"
"Fuck off"
"Ooh, someone's angry. Are you gonna hit me again? Because this time I will hit back." (Definitely not accurate but you get the point)
But the end of that conversation implies that Bill used to hit Desmond when he got angry, and des told him that if he tried that shit again, he was gonna get sucker punched.
Which is yet another reason I say desmond should have beat the shit out of Bill when he punched him after we found out Haythem in a Templar.
#Desmond clearly still craves his love and approval whenever u talk to bill#and bill is like “back to work so u cna go back to ur worthless simple life after”#like damn....#how much of a shithead do u have to be#But the diolouge where Des asks “did you look for me” in the saddest tone#and bill saying “everyday#and a day earlier it would have been me who would have found you“ was the only time I actually felt for Bill#but that doesnt fix all he has done.
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Woah (so tired that my face is swirling in the mirror)
#nobdy tell me to go yo slepe itsike six in the morning and im fixing my sleep schedule#schools back in mlike three fays so i have to force reset my sleep schedule#staying uo the whole day and night means i cna force it better again
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.
#I'm on about retail being not-that-hard because one of the training videos was like 'what about DIFFICULT customers?'#and then had the most trivially annoyed people being irritated about easily remediated things#like. oh no. you didn't know something and the fifty year old man said something mean? easy. you eat the dirt. apologize. then fix#I've had residents scream at me and then immediately break down into tears on me.#this one dude wouldn't stop jacking off in his doorway (right on the main hallway)#I actually got along really well with the unmedicated ocd resident who sent cnas home crying once a week#like. if the scenario ends with the customer smiling and agreeing with your solution. that's not a difficult customer.#anyway maybe I'm talking out my ass and in a few months I'll have horror stories worse than working the dementia unit#I doubt it though. if anything I have significantly more protection here than in nursing.#residents only faced consequences when they physically assaulted staff. and even then it was all 'what could you have done differently'#don't get me wrong. I loved it. one dude tried to claw out my eyes and I was glowing the rest of the night. absolutely thrilling experience#black and white confrontation is fun because there's no social anxiety. there's no question about nuance. it's just all of war
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