#i changed this drawing so many times because i wasn't satisfied if how it looked at all

[bluebirbbb]

✦ Of Sunflowers and Flames ✦ (closed eyes+open eyes+better quality horizontal version :D) YOU CAN ALSO GRAB IT ON INPRNT YIPPIEE :))))

[otomehoneyybearr]

3rd Birthday Story Sale

Kagari Amagase: A Heart-Throbbing Moment (Gift) For You

Taglist: @candied-boys

On the morning of my birthday—

The first thing I saw upon waking wasn't Kagari's sleeping face or his green eyes, but a single cherry blossom and a letter.

.....

Kagari: "You arrived early, Princess. Were you that eager to see me?"

Emma: "Of course, I wanted to see you as soon as possible, but..."

Kagari: "Why are you looking at me like I'm some bizarre creature?"

Emma: "Because you're tied up, Kagari."

(And cutely tied up with a ribbon, at that.)

The location mentioned in the letter was Kagari’s secret hideout, known only to a select few.

There I found, for some reason, Kagari with his wrists bound together, filling my mind with all sorts of questions.

Kagari: "Gifts come with ribbons, don't they?"

Emma: "So, does that mean...?"

Kagari: "Rejoice. Your first birthday present is me."

(I’d imagined doing something like this with Kagari, but I never thought it would actually happen!)

I was so surprised that I was speechless.

But my gradually warming cheeks were proof of how genuinely happy I was.

(If he's the present, that means I get to spend the whole day with him.)

The thought of having the person I love by my side on my birthday—Well, there’s no way I wouldn’t be overjoyed.

Emma: "Thank you. I'm really, truly happy!"

Kagari: "Then untie the ribbon quickly. Otherwise, this gift might run away, it has legs, you know."

Emma: "I'll untie it right away, so please don't run away."

I hurriedly grabbed the end of the ribbon and pulled, and it easily came undone.

As soon as he was freed, he hugged me tightly, burying his face in my neck.

(This is the first time I've received such a cuddly gift.)

It was ticklish and endearing, so I hugged him back.

Kagari: "Princess, are you satisfied already? There are more presents. In fact, the next one is the main gift."

(Can there even be a present better than Kagari in this world?)

Kagari: "Take this."

(A notebook...?)

It was a small, palm-sized rectangular notebook with a picture of a sleeping cat on the cover.

(It’s a drawing made by Kagari. Haha, how cute.)

(If this is the main present, maybe there's something written inside.)

With growing anticipation, I opened the cover. Inside was...

Emma: "A coupon to eat dorayaki together?"

Kagari: "If you give me any of those coupons, I'll grant the wish written on it."

Emma: "What a tempting present. Are you sure I can really have this?"

Kagari: "I made it for you. If you don't take it, it'll just turn to ashes."

Emma: "Thank you, I'll take it!"

I carefully turned each page to see what other coupons were there.

A date while holding hands coupon, a dressing-up coupon, a birthday cake coupon, a birthday song coupon, a kiss coupon, a hug coupon...

Seeing the cuteness of the contents written in Kagari’s slightly scrawled handwriting made me smile.

(A hug while kissing, kissing on his lap, a hug from the front, a hug from the back, a hug from the side... So many variations.)

(It's so like him to have so many kiss and hug coupons. His desires are quite clear.)

I tried giving Kagari a kiss coupon.

Emma: "Mm..."

Kagari: "You really like kisses, don’t you, Princess? So do I."

His kiss was swift and took my breath away, making my cheeks hot as he slightly lifted the corner of his mouth.

(Giving him a coupon is basically saying, "I want this"...)

(This might be a present that tests my heart as well.)

Still, it didn't change how happy I was.

(Which coupon should I use next... Oh, this one looks good.)

Kagari: "The dressing-up coupon, huh."

Emma: "I thought it would be best to use this one first. I can't imagine what it entails, so I'm looking forward to it."

(Will it be a birthday sash, a hat shaped like a cake, or maybe glasses?)

As I eagerly anticipated, Kagari suddenly wrapped his arms around my back, hugging me.

Emma: "Waaah! Why am I being undressed!?"

Kagari: "Because I'm going to dress you up."

Without any room for argument, he quickly stripped off my clothes, leaving me in my underwear.

Embarrassed, I moved behind Kagari to escape his gaze.

Emma: "I can put on clothes by myself, you know?"

Kagari: "If you refuse, you'll spend your birthday in your underwear. Not that I'd mind."

Kagari: "Besides, I’m better at dressing you than you are."

Emma: "Dressing me… Oh."

Kagari took something wrapped in a cloth from the closet and placed it on the floor

When he untied it, an elegant kimono in a soft gray plum color appeared.

(Wow… It’s beautiful.)

The various flower patterns primarily in shades of red were both vibrant and softly understated, exuding a subtle sweetness.

Kagari: "A birthday comes only once a year. I wanted your outfit to feel special too."

Kagari: "You always cherish things tied to memories, after all."

(Kagari thought this through so much.)

Emma: "...It’s so beautiful, it makes me hesitate to wear it. It captivated me instantly.”

Kagari: "I'm well aware of your tastes, so this reaction was expected."

Kagari: "But seeing you actually happy makes me even more pleased than I anticipated."

Though his expression was hard to read, the air around him seemed a bit gentler.

Suppressing my embarrassment, I moved into Kagari's line of sight.

Emma: "Could you please help me dress?"

Kagari: "Of course, I'll make you look adorable. Just wait and see."

True to his word, Kagari tied the obi in a rose knot and braided my hair to match.

I couldn't stop looking in the mirror, so delighted by how cute he made me look.

(Even though I’m already overwhelmed with joy, I still have many coupons left...)

Emma: “Eek!”

Kagari gave a playful bite to my neck and looked at me with a slightly sulky expression.

Kagari: "Hurry up and give me the next coupon. Let me celebrate you more."

Emma: "Sorry, I was just so happy with how you dressed me."

Emma: "Then, next... I'll use this coupon!"

Kagari: "A birthday cake coupon and a birthday song coupon. Wait here."

Emma: "Okay."

(Since it's Kagari, it might be a gigantic dorayaki or a stack of them reaching the ceiling.)

However, when Kagari returned to the room, what he was holding was undeniably a birthday cake.

Emma: "A rose cake! I love it."

It's the classic birthday cake in Rhodolite, topped with fruit and rose-shaped sugar decorations. The difference was the little cherry blossom sugar decoration placed next to the rose.

Setting the birthday cake down on the table, Kagari and I sat on the floor facing each other.

Emma: "The rose and cherry blossom are so cute together. Well, let’s dig in..."

Kagari: "Wait, little glutton. We haven't sung the song yet."

Emma: "Oh, right. It looked so delicious that I almost forgot..."

I quickly pulled my hand back from reaching for the cake and placed it on my lap.

After subtly clearing his throat, Kagari began to sing the birthday song I knew so well from childhood.

He slightly nodded his head to the rhythm, and I clapped my hands in time with him.

(His pitch is off, but he probably practiced a lot for today.)

This was evident from the song and his serious expression, and it was so endearing that I couldn't help but smile.

Kagari: "Happy birthday, Princess. Now, open your mouth."

Emma: "Aah... mmm, it's delicious. And it tastes nostalgic."

Kagari: "What a lovely smile. You're so cute I want to shower you with affection right now."

Kagari: "Ready for the second bite?"

Emma: "Yes, I am."

I took a larger bite of the cake than before, and the sweetness of the rose and cream spread throughout my mouth, soothing me.

After that, I kept eating each piece he offered, and fed him in return, and the cake quickly disappeared.

(Ah, that was delicious...)

Kagari: "..."

(Kagari's gaze hasn't left me for a while now. Is he waiting for the next coupon or something...?)

(Now that I think about it, he usually takes every opportunity to kiss or lean on my shoulder, but today he hasn't.)

I suddenly noticed the coupons placed beside me.

(Oh, that's why...)

Kagari: “….!”

I picked up the "Kissing on His Lap" coupon and handed it to him.

Kagari approached me happily, like a cat with its tail raised, and lifted me onto his lap.

A soft kiss landed on my lips, and he narrowed his eyes at a distance close enough to feel each other’s breath.

Then, he nuzzled my neck playfully with his nose, making me unconsciously let out a soft sigh.

(Seeing Kagari so happy makes me want to use these coupons more often, even though I'll be sad when they run out.)

After that, I used the coupons as I pleased.

We held hands and went out to the town, he fed me dorayaki, we stole kisses away from prying eyes, and spent an incredibly sweet time together that could only be described as over-the-top romantic...

Before I knew it, the sky had turned a deep blue.

(There was a mysterious special coupon that turned out to be for viewing the night cherry blossoms.)

Sitting side by side on our usual spot on the tree branch, Kagari and I gazed at the enchanting, almost otherworldly cherry blossoms, which looked different from how they did during the day.

(Ah...)

As I instinctively reached out to catch a falling petal, Kagari's hand extended from the side and caught it first.

Kagari: "You really like this game, don't you?"

Emma: "I just can't help it."

I carefully took the offered petal and pressed it between my handkerchief.

Emma: "This is the first time I've received so many presents on my birthday."

Kagari: "Hearing that makes me happy too. I want to be your first in everything."

Kagari: "But look forward to next year's birthday as well. I promise to prepare an even grander celebration than this year."

Emma: "What..."

Kagari: "What's with that reaction? Ah, I see. This year alone was enough for you."

Emma: "That's not true! I'm looking forward to next year too."

Kagari: "That's right, be greedy, Princess."

Kagari: "Next time, I'll make the birthday cake all by myself... I swear it."

(Does that mean he had intended to make it by himself this this time?)

(…Next year, huh.)

(Before we became lovers, he’d never say anything like ‘See you next time’, no matter how many times we met.)

(But things are different now. He’s promised a future.)

(…It feels like I've received another present.)

I put the handkerchief in my pocket and took out the remaining coupons.

There were only a few left, most of them being kiss and hug coupons.

(It’s okay to be a bit greedier, right...?)

Emma: "Kagari, could you fulfill all the remaining tickets?"

Kagari: "I'll grant any wish of yours."

Kagari: "Besides, I haven't had enough of you yet."

Our lips met, and we passionately conveyed our happiness to each other with intertwined tongues. With every kiss, his emerald eyes gleamed with a fierce heat, and just being stared at made my core tingle with a sweet ache.

Kagari: “Did I get a perfect score for celebrating your birthday?”

Emma: “Yes. It was worth 100 perfect scores.”

Emma: “Thank you for such a wonderful birthday, Kagari.”

Kagari: “Then let me say this too.”

Kagari: “Thank you for letting me have you all to myself on your birthday.”

(At first, I thought he was happy just because I used the coupons...)

(But perhaps even more than that, he was happy to be wanted and given attention.)

Thinking that only made my love for him grow…

(For me, Kagari’s happiness is the greatest gift of all.)

This time, I initiated the kiss, and we spent a blissful time together until the date changed.

▼・ᴥ・▼

[mermaidfanficlibrary]

Yandere Poly Kageyama & Tsukishima x male reader

Where they make fun of him at school. Bullying pretty much, but if someone else tried to do it they wouldn’t be going back to Karasuno again.

They want to see the reader cry, not having people around to lean on because they wouldn’t dare go near him. But what if he comes to school all smiley and cheery? Where he’s now got either an animal at home who’s made him happy or a neighbour to spend time with.

They don’t like it at all. Only they should be the reason him feel any emotions. They want to control everything. They want to be the only reason he is happy or upset.

I wouldn't hurt him if I were you | Yandere Haikyuu x Male Reader

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Kageyama Tobio

Summary: You just wanted a normal school life, not two boys fighting over you. Reader is male.

Warnings: Yandere themes, harassment, obsession, bullying, death, abuse

A/n: So sorry this took so long!! Sorry if this was rushed!

୨💔୧➤ You were a new transfer student to Karasuno High school. You were reserved and kept to yourself most of the time, not wanting to draw any unwanted attention to yourself. But that wasn't as easy as you thought it would be.

୨💔୧➤ You had caught two of your fellow first years eyes, and hearts. Kei Tsukishima and Tobio Kageyama saw you at the same time as you walked through the hall. You walked past them as they were bickering and Hinata trying to sheepishly break it up.

୨💔୧➤ As soon as you past, though, they both shut up and just watched as you fumbled with your locker. That was the moment where everything changed between the two boys.

୨💔୧➤ That day Tsukishima and Kageyama would corner you and tease you endlessly. They would scare you whenever they could. The two would also hurt you, but that was rare and only if you "misbehaved" in their mind.

୨💔୧➤ That's where the obsession seed bloomed into something more volatile. They would endlessly manipulate you and made you feel guilty about everything. They would say you deserved this or that it was your fault.

୨💔୧➤ Both of them would break you down, and isolate you so that they were the only ones you could lean on. They made everyone afraid of you, because no one wanted to mess with Tsukishima and Kageyama.

୨💔୧➤ If they ever saw someone else picking on you, they would not have it. They would corner that person and, let's just say, they're not in school anymore and no one questions the disappearance.

୨💔୧➤ Same thing when the two see a wound or bruise on you that they didn't inflict. But first they would patch you up, made sure it healed. During that time, they wouldn't hurt you at all.

୨💔୧➤ Once they saw you flinch and break down, they were satisfied with what they had done. They found every opportunity to make you break down and cry in front of them. It was odd when either Kageyama or Tsukishima would hug you or comfort you.

୨💔୧➤ It was mental torture. You had many sleepless nights with the thought of the two boys hurting you and doing whatever the fuck they wanted to you. No matter how hard you tried to escape them, both at school or at home, there were a thousand thoughts that were burned in your mind.

୨💔୧➤ So to escape those thoughts, you would walk outside late at night, with just yourself. It was a nice and refreshing change when you started taking those nightly walks. All your anxiety washed away.

୨💔୧➤ That's how you met your neighbor and new best friend! They made you feel so safe, and you would talk to them whenever something was troubling you. They took so much weight off, and you were finally able to feel happy.

୨💔୧➤ You started smiling and giggling at school to yourself whenever you looked down at your phone and saw their contact. Your neighbor made you so happy. You would skip down the halls! This however caught Tsukishima and Kageyama off guard.

୨💔୧➤ They thought they had broken you down. They worked so hard only to see you smiling at other people that weren't them? No matter how hard they tried to break you down again, you would just come back to school smiling and radiating sunshine.

୨💔୧➤ They were curious as to why you looked so happy when you looked down at your phone. Who was making you giggle like that? It made both of them very angry. They decided together that they would steal your phone and look at whoever was texting you, they also added their own contacts on your phone.

୨💔୧➤ Tsukishima put his contact under My love on your phone, and Kageyama put his contact under My darling. On their phones, your contact name is Our darling. They immediately got a message on your phone from your neighbor. They were enraged

୨💔୧➤ You were trusting other people, you were friends with other people. In their eyes, you were practically cheating on them. So they took your phone to handle your oh so friendly neighbor in person.

୨💔୧➤ You walked out of class and checked your locker for your phone, but you couldn't find it. You were sure you had it with you, but you just assumed you left it at home. You started to walk to your neighborhood.

୨💔୧➤ You felt something was off, so you walked to your neighbor's house first to check on them. It wasn't odd for you to drop by and check in on them. But you were filled with anxiety, you've never felt this anxious before.

୨💔୧➤ Once you opened the door, the place smelt like death. Your heart dropped when you saw the red pooling beneath your feet. You looked up to see the two boys who bullied you endlessly. You fell to the floor sobbing, and they were smiling!?

୨💔୧➤ Maybe you should have just been alone, and not had talked to anyone. That way, everyone would have been safe from them. This was all your fault, at least that's what they told you.

Do not repost or translate without my explicit permission! Reblogs are welcome!

[6okuto]

hai everypony. used some of u and ur ocs as my muses for a little (big) (rough) spread :3 So u know u r perceived and enjoyed.

if ur surprised because we don't talk um. i recognize ur user and or did some tag lurking so. hey... um. Hey...... tags and notes under the cut!

@khalixvitae - KHALIX ! do not know this guy At All but i decided to mix things up and use him!! if u have any thoughts to share abt vil i'm all ears! >__<

@sweet-milky-tea705 - JAYCE! yasenia. smoking duck gif. is anything else needed 2 say... i didn't forget her ears i just. upside down. hair. and. giuspelazpe

@koyukiki - Leon Kennedy. LMAO he's literally the most random guy on here. "why hoseok da bus driver" vibe LIKEHEEBFHSB but u know. hiii koyuki!!

@shobvrry - wehehehe... hiii friend,, little shoto for u!! :3 do u like the placement of frozen joke bear. get it. bc. because. he. and. get it

@dira333 - kENMA!! this is evidently Not the thing i wanted to give u but. this has taken a while and i actually want 2 redo the other thing so. haii dira!! \o/

@satorisoup - tHe Only self ship other than me on here. based it on ur existing self ship comms and picrews.. R ur eyes green. like. ..IMCRYING . ROCK ON LENE!

@last0bread - !! azalea has SUCH a cool + unique design!! she's also quite satisfying to draw?? LOL. i also like doodling flowers so thanks for letting me do that :3 🩷 /silly

@mustddart - oh my god i didn't know u changed users and just got so scared. I rock w these guys. i don't know their dynamic i based it solely on this post (& it being percy) but I ROCK W THEM!!! U r one of the people i recognize by user btw. Hiiii stay awesome!!!! 🩷🩷

@luv-indigo - SOOO lovely!! loved reading about nadine and seeing her in each step ^__^ !! i recognize u by user too. Haiii all ur art and ocs r super nice and cool!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️🩷

@vaultureculture - bro i am rocking w this design so hard. elvia is stunning like okkk???!! leander i see u. i get u 🙂‍↕️🔥 phlomis is also Awesome i love the dynamics and story going on IM ROCKING SO HEAVY!!

@kandy-katz - omg. i did the chibi first and by the time i got to the last empty space i realized sol was the only one who was a sole (haha) chibi and !! 😭 i felt so bad bc his full design is SO SO cool so he's here twice. HE'S AWESOME!! 🩷🙆🏻‍♀️

@dreamtydraw - smoking duck gif. apple bag trio.. lOVE THEM!! 🩷💌 wasn't originally gonna do all 3 but i saw this pose and thought it was silly and fun.. yeagh. all ur ocs are always so lovely and unique!!! everypony reading this go check dreamty on itch.io and play all 5 games NOW!!!

@evanox - SARA RAAAHHHH!!!! saraahhhhh!!.???? haha get it. ...just looks like i spelt ur name wrong. Let's carry on. MAEHWA!!! 😭🩷🩷 worked off jayce's art I hope she looks ok. sage is drunk and saying something stupid /affectionate Idk what.. hehe she's lovely!!

@anonymous-eggy - Big Fan of masks and i love this one. HIS DESIGN IS SO FUN!! i finished drawing them the fastest fr fr i want that shirt so bAD and their hair is so nice yeahh i rock w az HEAVY!! 🩷🩷

@someiicecube - cannot overstate how heavy i rock w esther. u hooked me at an awesome stunning design and reeled me in w reading too many romance books and wishing it was him. so me. SO COOL!!! 🩷🩷

da process........

yeahgh. 👍 i wud like to draw some for real in the future but actually if i draw anything in the next few days my brain will explodeo.

[kissorkill16]

Help Me Forgive You: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: Aaron reunites with his father again after years.

Meet me at the Raven Brooks cemetery.

25 year old Aaron Peterson had recently received a note from an anonymous stranger. He felt like he recognized the handwriting, but it was still drawing a blank to him.

But despite his reluctance, he went to meet this person.

When he finally got to the cemetery, he walked by a couple of tombstones and memorials of people, he stopped by a familiar grave. He bent down.

Mya Rose Peterson

1973 - 1983

She was a young and lively little girl.

Indeed she was.

"I miss you so much, Mya.", Aaron said to the grave, then he felt a shadow cover his entire body and the grave.

"Hello, Aaron."

Aaron whipped his head around to see whose shadow this was, and he nearly fainted when he saw who it was.

A familiar, muscular, hulking man in a white dress shirt, brown khaki pants, and black leather boots. He didn't look too familiar, but Aaron recognized him even out of his argyle sweater.

It was his father.

He hadn't seen him in years.

Aaron stood up to meet his level. He didn't quite fully reach his height, even as an adult. His father would always be taller than him no matter what.

"Hey...", said Aaron, it felt awkward for him to just talk to his father after being taken out of his custody years ago, but he tried to make it feel normal. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Now it was just stupid. He knew it's been a while.

But his dad nodded. "Yes, it has been. It's been a long while since we've seen each other."

Aaron turned on his heel and started walking away from the grave, "Do you want to walk and talk?"

He nodded and wrapped his arm around Aaron's shoulder.

The two walked around the graveyard in silence, despite saying they were going to walk and talk. However, after a while, Theodore broke the silence.

"How was Germany?"

Aaron looked at his father, "It was kinda cool.", he said, but Ted wasn't satisfied with that answer. "What do you mean by that?"

Aaron awkwardly looked at the ground, "Well, Quentin's been doing okay with raising me, despite having no parental experience whatsoever. He did his best."

Ted smiled, "That's nice.", he said. "It's nice to see he was a better father than I ever was."

Aaron's eyes widened and he pulled away from his father. "Dad, how could you say that?"

"Aaron, you don't need to pretend anymore. You're an adult now, you're allowed to express your feelings.", said Ted. "I know I wasn't the best husband and father, I wasn't even a good person back then. I neglected you after your mother died and locked you in the basement after your sister died, and I kidnapped your friend just so you could have a friend, and I messed up his life too."

Aaron knew this was true, but he didn't want his father to talk bad about himself.

"And before that, I ruined your friendship with Enzo and scared his sister. I killed so many people with my death machine rides and avoided consequences instead of facing them like a man. The only time I didn't run away was when you were given to Mr. Gershowitz. I'm glad he's been a better parent than me. You must've been so happy with him."

Now Aaron couldn't take it anymore.

"Dad, stop it!"

Ted looked at his son with wide eyes.

"After Quentin took me in, I never stopped thinking about you. Despite all you've done to me, our family, to everyone around you, I still loved you and I missed you so fucking much. You were my dad after all!", said Aaron. "I still don't fully forgive you for gaslighting me into thinking that I'm the reason why bad things happen, or for hurting Nicky, or for ruining my friendship with Enzo, but I want to try and forgive you, because I want to believe that you've changed."

His eyes filled with tears, and he wrapped his arms around his father.

"Just help me forgive you."

Ted felt his own eyes fill with tears, and he wrapped his arms around Aaron, burying his face into his shoulder.

"I will."

[saffroarn]

Spoiler Alert for anime-only.

Seeing that Jigokuraku's fans has started to catch up to the manga till chapter 44, where gabimaru got amnesia & not remembering his wife,

I just decided I want to share my angst thoughts when i first read that part too; imagining if Yui really wasn't real - which actually I find it really hard to believe this sudden change since that plot twist seems quite quick for me, it didn't really give me the impact but it's enough to give other readers doubt, just because of how 'Yui-only-appear-in-flashbacks'-mindsets. I myself can't believe there's still some manga/anime that still has a happy ending, so yeah, this really proved that we all are prepared for the worst, since anime/manga always kills off our fav characters...

And yeah. I was thinking about the possibility of how heartbreaking Gabimaru would feel - and since the arborification actually makes me relate to Hanahaki a little too much,

I couldn't find any fanarts of this idea, so I thought I would sketch it myself, it's not like im an artist, I draw only to satisfy my imagination & this is the best I can do it guys, sorry. (IDK which one looks better. I'm bad at photography)

Btw, I listen to Stitches by Shawn Mendes while sketching this. I cried when the part 'now I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing Stitches' - like, gosh, he wounded so many times, meanwhile, we, readers/viewers knowing that these two has only 1 scene of simple kiss in their flashback, actually make me tear up for no reason, (we all need more sweet gabiyui scenes 😭🤚🏼)

Like - I didn't listen to this song imagining Yui's leaving him. It's more like [what if kaku yuji actually made 'Yuzuriha/Shija was right' plot?] - it would be much worse than killing any character.

Btw, that one part from the song; 'just like a moth drawn to a flame' reminds me a lot of episode 1's scene where 2 moths flying around the candle while Gabimaru in prison scene where he told Sagiri that he got betrayed while in the mission, leading himself to be captured.

[ccl-c]

some things i wanted to draw a while ago but never had the time because work has been so intense. now that s2 ended this way …

long rambling below:

i had been having a very bad feeling about the “devastating loss” and fuck it really happened (it being foreshadowed from ep1 is kind of funny but fuck).

i did enjoy the episode, and if this is the end of the show i'm good with that. ep8 isn't just about izzy's death obviously, nor is the season or the show about izzy, and i know it's a bridge season where problems are not solved, but i need a way to get over this, so.

within the episode i think the death is beautiful, but within his whole arc, for me it's the timing and david's explanations that i found kind of awkward and disappointing. it might be because the budget got cut but i think also because izzy's arc was a bit too prioritised especially if david wanted to stick to the mentor-death-in-act-two trope (izzy is my favourite character but i have been feeling the unbalance since ep3).

izzy's last speech sounded almost too early for ed's arc. letting a repressed traumatised amputated (also talented and romantic and sometimes humourous) elder apologise for what he believed half of his lifetime and die voluntarily (to some extent; i think he said “i wanna go” mostly because he knew the wound was fatal, but then why must it be fatal it was on the left side?) when he was just physically and mentally getting better is tragic but it also could have been a more satisfying death. i am very biased and very bad at literature, but i think if izzy and ed got to earnestly communicate about their relationship and past issues, if ed had more interactions with the crew to (re)build the mutual love, and maybe if besides telling ed to “just be ed” izzy really got to see it (when he's not dying), his story would be more complete and he would really be leaving at his happiest.

of course death is inevitable in life and unpredictable in piracy, of course there are tropes in tv shows, and of course it's part of the journey for the audience to feel devastated. but i read multiple interviews and the central idea just seems to be “the mentor often dies in the second act” which is valid in itself, but then s2 becomes “how can we make the most out of his last moments” (after posting this i heard that “funerals strengthen families” dropped; i'm just so disappointed i don't know what to say). honestly i was confused about how david said “let's give con all the toys he could play with” (yes if i had con in my show for one last season i'd want to let him do everything possible as well and i am grateful david did, but after all con played a side character; also it's cruel to “give him everything” while hiding the ending from him until halfway through the shooting); it's supposed to be a story and not a talent show (um). if time is too short for his ideal arc then maybe he should do fewer things but each better paced, or maybe the mentor-death-in-act-two trope needed to be adjusted, or maybe it wasn't the right trope at all.

i might be dumb but i didn't see the mentor-hero relationship before stede said blackbeard said izzy made him the captain he was, and even then i honestly thought it was mostly stede talking for ed. when david put it like that i can see little traits of it in s1, but i find the jesus-judas (jcs) dynamic much more obvious. let alone the father figure thing; didn't see it at all.

there are many ways to mark an end and for a recurring character to leave (buttons turning into a seagull was beautiful; the swede temporarily leaving to become jackie's husband was also lovely; but ivan's death mentioned by fang just looked like they had to get rid of him); ultimately what frustrates me is that it's unclear what the concept of death itself brings to izzy's arc at this point. major character “deaths” in this show is often associated with change or rebirth, and i'd expect a realistic humanly death from severe wound to also open up something new in his story or in general, even if his life ends here. maybe that's for s3. but for now he died just because their power-thirsty enemy hated him and his gorgeous speech and piracy; ed did not seem to consider the crew his family, nor did the crew seem to bother. piracy did become more about belonging though but that's not his legacy.

on a side note, letting a disabled elder (who was previously seen seriously irritating ricky) escort ricky and no one noticing ricky hid a gun? izzy was playing with fire (ha) to talk to ricky like that but at least ed and zheng and jim and jackie could have been more alert. then roach was asked to look for bandages and nothing happened afterwards? that was the guy who replanted his own arm back and who was ready to chop off lucius's finger. if he just came up to izzy's side and tried to take care of him and then izzy said “no it's too late i want to go painlessly”, or if someone said “let izzy and ed have their moment”, then okay, but having roach try to save izzy with no follow up is kind of disrespectful to roach's character.

with how much david loves izzy and con there probably was a better version of this story that didn't fully make it into the show. that said, i do work in a creative industry with various constraints in many directions; it happens that creators have intentions and priorities that the audience does not understand and vice versa, it happens that budgets got cut and what you deliver is not what you would have made in better circumstances, but when a mainstream tv show got such polarised reactions about one specific part of the story, there might be a real problem and the budget or the creative direction won't be enough to justify it.

then if all this is for izzy to be brought back in s3 i'm curious to see how it will be played out. his death was shown in such an explicit way and he even got buried on land (honestly the burial was weird and a bit creepy for me but well) it doesn't seem likely he survives again; it might be fun if he reincarnates as a creature or appears in new flashbacks, or in the gravey basket.

(also, now that izzy's dead, i hope con can share his version of the backstory of izzy's ring.)

my point is, maybe, that i think izzy's arc in s2 was so saturated and glamorous and full of potential that it felt too important to end, while the main romance and the crew's arc could have used some more time to address more context or some issues underlying since s1 for example. also lots of things weren't consistent and many interesting points were never addressed again, but i hope it's left open for s3.

but it doesn't undo what has been great about this show. the death scene itself was beautiful too, and the whole cast and crew deserve an hour-long standing ovation.

i guess it's just a bit like you went on a really fun roadtrip with a beloved friend but had an unexpected misunderstanding leading to conflict with said friend at the end of the last day. eventually you probably stay friends because you always had a good time, but you will be thinking about the conflict.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 31: Paracosm 🦄

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Paracosm (n.)

a detailed imaginary world, especially one created by a child

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Inktober is officially OVER!! 🥳YAHOO!! 🎉 

…Oh, and Happy Halloween, too. 🎃

I did my best to go out on a high note, and I think I largely succeeded…even if the results aren’t very Halloween-ish. 😅 

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about my general thoughts/process. ✨

Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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At long last, we end very similarly to how it all began: In a "world" of sparkle and starlight. 😉

I could wax poetic here about how glad I am to be done, but I think me just saying those words alone is plenty enough of that for tonight. Besides, if you really want to split hairs, it's not over until we do the wrap-up image you Sparklers know I usually like to do...

Anyway. I'm not sure my posting time will reflect this by the time I get done with this description, but I did start on this one early enough in the day to give myself plenty of time to brainstorm and play with the concepts a bit. Though, in fairness, I don't think I actually ended up scratching that many ideas or changing my mind all that much as I worked; I think the bulk of my time was just spent trying to figure out where to squeeze in more detail. After all, the definition does say a detailed imaginary world.

Now, I will admit that I'm not entirely sure this really evokes "world" so much as "little house," ("playhouse?") but this is very much another word I put on the list thinking it would be fun to play with in poetry format. More specifically, I was thinking of how satisfying it was to end Obscutober 2021 with "Phantasmagoria"Obscutober 2021 with "Phantasmagoria" as the final word and was hoping for a similar experience.

But as we discussed yesterday: I'm not working in poetry format this time! 🙃

So I relied on the same "Adult Coloring Book Vibes" that I was trying to channel yesterday, because when I think of trying to encapsulate a tiny imaginary world in a detailed but simple drawing, a lot of Johanna Basford's work comes to mind, particularly her book "Small Victories."

From there, a tiny house as an "easy" way to communicate this is meant to somehow be representative of a whole world wasn't a far leap of logic, so that's what I ran with.

I will also take this opportunity to point out that I deliberately drew the houses to point inward, towards the center of the mandala, to kind of go along with the idea of an "inner" world. It was also just a nice change because I somehow did not really notice until today that every other Obscutober piece I've done this month except maybe Day 7 all "point" outward in some way. 😦

Not that which way they "point" matters all that much, I'm just surprised I didn't really notice I hadn't taken advantage of the ability to "point" inward. That could've been fun to play with on Day 23 in particular!

It also doesn't really show at all, but I was thinking about Haunted Houses when I drew the little house, since tonight is Halloween, which is part of why it doesn't use very many properly straight lines...And you might be able to see a the tiniest bat I have ever drawn in my life over the door! But that's about as far as I got with making the house look "haunted." I had thoughts of pushing it further, but I held back because I knew I wanted to get kind of rainbow-y with the color scheme and didn't want the house to clash too much with that.

And as you can probably tell, I also just didn't have a ton of space to play with a lot of fine "spooky" details and have them actually be recognizable. The windows on the house were pushing the limits as it was. 😅

Speaking of windows, I'm not sure how well it comes across, but I did try to put some edging around the houses to create kind of a cathedral/stained glass window effect. Ironic as heck considering I mostly tried to avoid that kind of thing all month previously because I had two glass-specific words I wanted to let have that option on the table...And then I mostly didn't even use that effect for those specific days. 🙃

But! Go big or go home, I wanted to have fun and I like stained glass, so here we are!

I kind of tried to tie the "world" aspect back into it by filling some of the "glass" spaces with those cobblestone-ish spaces. Obviously it's not a "yellow brick road" as in a certain imaginary world because it's not all yellow, but calling it a "rainbow stone road" in similar fashion would be fair, I think. 😉 It's cute and goes super well with the stained glass impression...In fact that might be carrying the whole stained gladd impression by itself, but I'll let Sparklers decide that for yourselves.

Also, to my credit, I did try to bring in a little more "spook" by going with moths to help fill out the rest of the space rather than my first choice, butterflies. Butterflies don't really specifically have anything to do with imaginary worlds, I know, but they seem to have gotten filed in the same folder in my brain. At the very least you could draw the connection between butterflies (and moths), fairies, and magic, which would fit in nicely with an imaginary world.

However, my compromise was starting with the very butterfly-esque Luna moth, which is more colorful but they do have a very eye-like marking on their wings, which I attempt to use to my full advantage here (while still attempting to keep it at least a little abstract).

I was actually going to have all Luna moths all the way around, but when I copied & rotated the layer I discovered they were too long and go cut off on the other 4-points, which I did not like the look of.

So rather than have to figure out something else to draw in their place or re-draw new months from scratch, I erased the bottoms of the wings, altered the shape of what was left a bit, then changed the antennae and the "eyes" on the wings to be a bit different. Boom! New "normal" brown-ish moths. 🦋 And y'know, the brownish moths don't get enough love compared to their flashier counterparts anyway, so they deserve to be here and I'm happy to have them.

To polish things off, I felt it essential to have a rainbow border. More than anything else, I associate rainbows with the concept of imagination. I very nearly put some clouds in there too, but then I remembered how surprsingly annoying it's been to get cloud shapes I'm happy with in this format at various points earlier in the month. So no clouds, just more rainbow bits to fill the space where the clouds would've been.

Besides, this way it kind of looks like the moths are going to fly over the houses, bringing the rainbows with them, which is a pretty cute idea. 😊

And then I topped things off with some stars/sparkles because one of my earlier ideas was to get some trees in here and maybe evoke the idea of laying out under the stars at night, letting your imagination run wild. But as evidenced by my little trees stumps, I did not actually get very far in entertaining that particular idea. 😅

Setting the scene at night does go better with the hints of more Halloween-ish themes, though, so all is well.

The colors then are about as self-explanation as you can get. The only thing I didn't really touch on is that I tried to make the house black/purple with red roofing, but I kept the layers light because I didn't want the coloring in those spots to stick out too much. I think it's better if the house can kind of "blend in" as just a small final nudge to the idea that they're just a small part of a larger world, rather than their own central figure. If that makes any sense.

In the end, I do think this turned out as one my better more doodle-y attempts for the month. Just goes to show what a difference actually having time to think about what the heck I was doing can make. [I say knowing my past self cannot hear/see this yet because that's how the past works.]

And I do think this is among my favorites for the month, but I'm still not quite ready to say it's my favorite-favorite. It is missing some more "traditional" mandala touches that make it harder to compare with those that strike the doodle vs. traditional balance better. I tried to squeeze a couple things in there, but ultimately my other ideas literally and figuratively took up to much space to really leave room for that.

It looks good—great even!—though! So I'm thrilled to go out on a relatively high note, especially after the last few prompts both gave me trouble and were a bit of a whirlwind to make since I was so bad at giving myself enough time to make them in. 😅

...Well, it's a high note for now. We'll see how hard of a time I have with cross-posting and if that dampens my mood too much or not. 🫠

Still, that won't change the fact that I am DONE. I DID IT!! And now I can safely focus all of my attention on a certain other project I've been working on prepping for November in the background all the while.

Still, that won't change the fact that I am DONE. I DID IT!! And now I can safely focus all of my attention on a certain other project I've been working on prepping for November in the background all the while.

I'll see you Sparklers tomorrow, bright and...colorful. 😉 👋

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See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

Hi! This is anon from the other day who was asking about outlining! First of all, thanks so much for your input! It was really helpful and I finally have an ok outline- at least in my opinion! Just wondering if you have anymore advice on outling in general- My fics going to be a longer one- looking at average novel length here for everything I want to shove in it. Have a good day! :D

Hello, dear anon! I am always happy to give advice (though the quality of it may be lacking, as I speak from personal experience rather than professional study).

If you're looking for some more advice (writing wise), I would suggest making sure that you don't spend too much time obsessing over any one chapter, especially as you're just starting out on such a long project. Not that you can't edit, but I've seen so many new writers (how new are you at writing? That may change my future advice, if you ask for it) edit and edit and edit their first chapters without ever moving onto the second because they're trying to get it perfect. I'm on a writing exchange platform on Reddit (Writers Helping Writers), and I had one kid send me his first chapter no more than seven times to review the different versions, because he couldn't get down the details of how he wanted that inciting scene to go. It's been like 3? months, and he just sent me an eighth version the other day, and I had to tell him that I wasn't gonna give (the same) feedback on the chapter anymore XD

Especially if you're going to be doing a long fic, new things you'll want to add to different sections will pop up as you go. You just have to accommodate for ideas as they come up rather than try to preemptively pin them all down, and I'm saying this as the person known as being super super detailed with crazy outlines, apparently. You have to be a bit flexible--the story will take you places that you didn't expect to go, and you'll have to go back and fix details and revise many many times.

Specifically for outlining, however, I am a very visual person, so I have drawings, diagrams, and I also have a corkboard with all my chapter "sections" on sticky notes, with string connecting big subplots (I've actually taken these all down right now, and the only one's up are concluded subplots XD Arc 2 is a mess rn). You'll just have to play around and see what works for you, when it comes to that. Have you seen the train station model for subplots? I'm not sure if that's exactly what it's called, because googling it gets nothing, but when I started writing years and years ago there was one for the Hunger Games going around XD Basically, deciding which subplots will be advanced in which scenes, and tracking them through the story that similar to a system of subway rails, with each chapter being a stop that only some of the trains (subplots) will stop at. It gives you the opportunity to visually make sure that you give each the amount of screentime they deserve and also remember to give them a satisfying conclusion that's going in the same direction, to extend the metaphor, as the main plot.

It's great that you have an outline already, as that'll cut down on those revisions that I mentioned earlier a lot! And you're going for NOVEL LENGTH? Wow, good luck, and as I said before, please message me when you get around to posting that! Feel free to message me if you need anything, whether that be talking through plot points or my specific processes for anything.

You have a good day yourself, my dear writing anon!

[thefemcelthatdeservesbetter]

That's not me

I hate looking at the mirror. I don't understand what i see in it, it always changes form and look. It's so weird. Came back from school and looked at the mirror. That wasn't me. It doesn't even look like the me i usually see, that i hate. The me i saw looked even uglier. It's so hard to not understand how you look like. I don't know how i look. I'm insecure about it, and it makes me lose so many opportunities. I always try to comfort myself, thinking "oh but maybe that's not the way you see yourself, after all cameras and mirrors distorts in some way reality!". That's what everyone thinks. That's what everyone says. But if that could apply to me, those people wouldn't mock me.

I hate them so much. It's really all their fault, no matter how i look at it. If they didn't laugh at me, I'd be maybe able to or better at taking compliments. Their sarcastic "you're so pretty" are ruining me. Because of them, when people tell me that genuinely and honestly, i find it hard to believe. If some people say I'm cute, and some others taunt me, how am i supposed to feel about myself?

It's so hard loving yourself when you initially do not, and people worsen it. Why is it me that should be targeted if I'm already not doing alright? Why can't they choose someone able to stand anything at all??

I hate my body. And I'm starting to hate it even more. I'm so thin, my breasts are almost inexistent. I don't understand the shape of my nose. I feel like my eyes are divergent, but they're not. Sometimes i feel like my lips are too small. Sometimes it feels like they're big. Sometimes my head is triangular. Sometimes round. Sometimes oval. My jawline is sharp, and soft at the same time. I don't understand anything at all.

I miss having boys crushing over me, in elementary school. I don't know what went wrong. Did something even go wrong? I want to know at least if all this worry is only a delusion. Why do i look so different from when i was 5?

My mom showed me an old picture of me and said "oh! See how pretty you were?" I know she didn't mean to sound bad, she didn't even notice it. But I'm sure she did feel it deep down. I wish i could stop worrying about all that. I wish i was perfect. There's nothing good about me. I'm thin. I barely have any breasts. I don't have a pretty voice. I'm not intelligent. I'm not good at speaking. I don't have a personality that anyone would go for or one that would compensate all the other flaws. All i do is listen to music, complain and draw. I'm not even good at art, and anyway art isn't real, being an artist is not a positive trait, it's only a way to escape reality, as we are not satisfied with it.

I wish i was like those stupid girls online who post their "I'm just a girl🎀" bs. They're pretty and they know it, so whatever how much they're toxic, weird or creepy,, it doesn't matter. They're popular and have many friends but act like they're weird. Romanticizing "weird kids". They're attention seekers, aren't they? I am too, and I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm desperate for any kind of attention. But they're not just that, they're whores!!!! I hate most girls. I could say i hate women. If they didn't exist, i wouldn't have to compare myself to them everyday. But i wish i was like them so i could carelessly be a bitch and get away with everything because I'd be pretty!!!!! They start ignoring you once you don't entertain them anymore smh. And beware of the trans people that overly use ":3" and "I'm just a girl 🎀" while saying they're NOT female. Like... Where's the logic in that? It's not even funny. And they have such a huge victim complex. They'd affirm that they have "abandonment and attachment issues" then leave you for no reason, without any justification and still believe they're the victim.

I wish i could be raped. That way I'd be sure that at least one person finds me attractive, no matter their age. I just want a male to say I'm pretty and to take care of me.

But i can't, because all the boys are already stolen by them sluts. Even when their single, they wouldn't even consider you as an option because their standards are oh so high.

Life is unfair, really unfair!!!!!!!!! is jacking off the only way to escape from this nightmare??!?!?

why do i have to be so stupiddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!rr

[liroutrozenberg]

Tremors and injuries

Trial part. I have an idea for a story, but I'm not sure whether to write it completely or not. All photos are taken from Pinterest, I am not their author and do not claim them as my own! Sketch 1

Ilona wasn't sure that flying to this godforsaken planet was a good idea. Karma, the universe, fate and all the higher powers in general clearly didn't like her. Learning a new culture and language was difficult, but she managed it, somehow overcoming herself, in order to finally end up on the "Second Earth" as some scientists called Pandora and they could actually be understood, albeit partially.

Despite this, the opportunity to learn something new attracted her strongly enough that she could close her eyes to many things, which she did, initially adapting to a new life on a separate research base somewhere deep in the jungle. It was calmer there than in Hell's Gate and it was possible to work without being distracted by the constant military, who wandered everywhere and sometimes stuck their noses into other people's business.

During their loading onto the helicopter that was supposed to ferry them from Hell's Gate to a safe research base, she crossed paths with Corporal for the first time. It turned out to be Lee, a fellow participant in the Pandora program, albeit with a different assignment and job profile than Ilona herself. In the end, during the first part of the flight they were able to find common ground, no matter how you look at it, and they still have a long time to work together and it would be worthwhile to establish a relationship right away.

"So, what brings you here? Wouldn't it be easier to stay with the rest of the military and earn promotions?" Ilona raises an eyebrow questioningly, watching as her interlocutor's ears perk up after the question was voiced.

"It's either here or be shot. Of two evils, I chose the lesser." Lee answers, her lips spreading into an extremely satisfied smile before she begins to laugh at Ilona's puzzled expression. "Just kidding. Don't take my words too literally. I'm just not a fan of the standing that happens there and I prefer silence."

"You scared me for a second." Ilona admitted honestly, feeling her heart pounding in her chest and it was unclear from what exactly. Either from the joke that was voiced, or from the pure laughter that sounded like a rumble in the helicopter. But she quickly threw this thought into the background.

"Okay, I didn't mean to." Lee raises her hands in a conciliatory manner, continuing to giggle quietly, before another member of our small group distracts her, drawing attention to herself and she talks to him, giving Ilona a short break.

The second part of the flight went smoothly, which made Ilona intuitively think that something bad was waiting for them in the end, but most were in a good mood, which was hard not to give in to, and soon Ilona calms down a little, feeling that everything is not so bad and she just needs to get used to the changed environment, which she had never thought about before.

At the center, two employees who had arrived a few days earlier were already waiting for them. Lee immediately went to reconnoiter the area and warned them not to wait for her until late in the evening, as this was her duty. In general, no one objected much, except that they made sure that she had enough combat ammunition just in case, even though Lee did not look like someone who was capable of starting shooting just because of some rustle of unknown origin.

Ilona occupied a small room near the laboratory, so that she could have quick access to it. The living spaces were small, designed mainly so that they did not spend too much time in them, but overall the place was quite pleasant, which was strange to think about the national center, but this was the last thought that could come to mind.

Having laid out a few things, Ilona headed to a small conference room to listen to the briefing and plans for the first time, which the first arrivals had already made. A little later, a few more goals were added to the list, as someone wanted to study the water bodies, and a few more needed to improve their level of speech in the Na'vi language.

Ilona's first day at the research center was slowly coming to an end, when the Sun began to give way to the Moon, symbolizing the end of a hard day. The white light of the lamps in the lab seemed completely familiar and calmed her down a little, although she still felt some nervousness from the new team and place, but now it was not felt so acutely and she thought that she was coping with her emotional state quite well.

"Hey, good evening. Are you planning on sitting here all night?" Melissa - one of the scientific leaders, passing by the lab, noticed her new partner and smiled good-naturedly, entering the room. "Everyone is planning to gather upstairs, you know… to chat and get to know each other better. Are you coming?"

Ilona thinks for a moment before setting down the tablet she had initially been giving her full attention to. Chatting with everyone sounded like a good idea and she certainly wasn't against the idea.

"Yeah, sure. That would be great." She smiles and gets up from her seat, immediately following Melissa as she strides up to the top floor, into the apartment complex where the others have already gathered.

+ + +

The conversations lasted so long that the stars were already shining in the sky, and through the darkness one could see the nearest planets, leisurely continuing their peaceful life, because for them absolutely nothing had changed, allowing their cycle to continue further, as if nothing had happened.

"Does anyone hope that we will have to work closely with the Navi representatives?" Grakber, sitting on the table and bending his legs under himself, goes over all the possible developments of events while they are here. Although, he was one of those who should raise his level of the native language, so his question made sense.

"Well, that would be great. Although, our job is not about that." Melisa retorts as if nothing happened. "Perhaps Li will encounter a few of them? Speaking of which…" She looked away and glanced at the time before furrowing her brows. "She still hasn't returned, and it's been almost seven hours since she went into the forest."

This thought was unexpected, because the Corporal had indeed not returned back yet, continuing to wander somewhere in the dense jungle. Was this something that should alert them, or could they continue to just sit here in safety? No one had an answer to that question, on the other hand… if something had happened, Lee would have let them know, right?

[theood]

No one prompted this but I wanted to talk MORE about my fl oc, Larkin Colt. So, I'm using @ahoy-hoyy's questions! Under a cut because I'm answering all of them on my own ^_^.

🦇 What is your OC’s Ambition, and have they achieved it?

Larkin's ambition was Light Fingers. He has achieved it, at a great cost. Larkin has a False Star of his very own, but he misses his child. He didn't want a child, but, in the midst of Parabola, when the child was still a babe, Larkin held him, and the attachment was quick.

Sometimes, Larkin just cries. He thinks how he could have done better. For the child, for his crew, for Clarabelle.

He still feels responsible. For everything bad that took place. Larkin doesn't like to talk about it, but... the orphanage and what he did still clings to him.

If he could though... oh. He would let out his anger onto Mr. Fires. That damn bat started it. It was his fault. And Poor Edward? Larkin cannot hear the name without snapping.

🗻Was your character born in the Neath; if so, how old are they? If not, why did they go there and how long have they been there?

Larkin was not born in the Neath! He was born on the surface, away from London entirely. He came to the Neath when he was hearing tantalizing rumors of a heist to end all heists. Something that would have him set for life, he just had to look into it.

Now, he's been in the Neath for at least 5 years. And my, what a wild time it's been. Still so new to the Neath if you ask some and yet... he feels as though he's been there longer.

(While I view Larkin as being in the Neath longer, I have been playing for 3 years! His character however easily fit into a role of someone who'd been in the Neath longer!)

📷 Share a picrew of your choice featuring your OC’s design! Actually, here's older art I drew of Larkin!

His design hasn't changed much. I always wanted him to have darker clothing. Red with golden accents. His outfit is supposed to be a black dress shirt (sleeves rolled up), red vest, slacks and or dress pants, a brass ring on his left hand, and a few various pins to symbolise various things. (At the time it was merely a bee pin).

I'd like to redo his outfit now, to incorporate more devil motifs as it's important to his character. This is afterall an older drawing. His cosmogone glasses aren't even here!

⚓️ Which faction is your OC closest to?

If it isn't already obvious from the bee pin, and the colors he wears, and the scar on his wrist, Larkin is closest to The Devils. This wasn't a hard decision from Larkin. Ever since he first came to the Neath, as a young man he found himself drawn to the Devils and their charms.

While many in London speak ill, or warn those of the Devils, Larkin either didn't hear or chose not too.

Larkin pledged his alliance very quickly. His closeness with the Devils has made more than one Londoner uncomfortable around him. Larkin does not take it personally. The Devils now have started to welcome him with smiles.

♟️ Is there a faction they are totally at odds with?

While many can say Londoners do not care for them, Larkin constantly finds himself sneering at The Constables, has a personal distaste for The Church, and Society depsite seeming to do well enough around them.

• The Constables: Larkin isn't one to follow the law. And since coming to the Neath he's only gotten better at criminal activities.

Larkin does not favor the Constables or their reign. Given the chance, he will lead them on wild chases that lead nowhere, or hinder them.

🗡️ What is their profession? Are they satisfied with it?

• The Church: When one is close to Hell, to Devils, of course he isn't going to be attending church on Sundays.

Personally, Larkin cannot entirely understand how religion continues on in the Neath. And while he can hold his tongue, he will not hesitate to voice his own opinions.

• Society: This is more personal, a learned dislike. Some of higher society like Larkin, but it depends on how they personally feel towards devils, or the matters of Hell.

🌹 Are they currently courting anyone? Or trying to?

Larkin is a glassman Silverer. Addressed ad such and everything.

Larkin is... the Parabola holds both good and bad. With a few days of talk from his devilish friends, Larkin become one for them. He's gathering what he can on The Fingerkings to aid the Devils.

And, it pays fine. The travels through mirriors almost came natural, and it feels like he was meant too but it doesn't mean Larkin enjoys it.

At times, the Parabola seems to drag him further into it, and he loses time.

He wouldn't change professions though. No matter what.

Also, worth mentioning, he is trained to be a Spirifer. He handles souls well, but never for his own personal gain. Always traded back to a devil.

No. Larkin, despite being in London for a while has not courted anyone. At a time though, there was a devil. If you get close enough, he may just let slip he still loves that devil.

🦑 Are they human?

Yes! Larkin is human. As human as someone who's become soulless can be.

☀️ If given the choice to return to the surface, would they?

🥼 Does your OC have a favorite in-game clothing item?

Oh, how Larkin longs to feel the warmth of the sun. To see the real stars, to feel grass, breath air that doesn't feel weighted.

But he cannot. Unless someone could offer him the thing he cannot afford. Larkin has died too many times in the city. He cannot ever return home.

And... even if he could. How could he leave his child? He would need someone to tell him it is okay.

Yes! His brass ring. He wears it always. To show his allegiance to the devils.

🌊 Have they been to Zee with their own ship?

🔥 Which menace causes the most problems for them? Which menace causes the least amount of problems for them?

Many times! Larkin, though he may not seem the type actually owns a Majestic Pleasure Yacht!

Larkin is not a captain though. And while he does fine at Zee, he doesn't feel at ease.

🎩 What clubs are your OC associated with?

Larkin is often plagued by Nightmares, and Scandal.

The nightmares are a natural occurrence for Londoners, but Larkin tends to wear himself thin, and often finds himself dreaming more frequently. He also just seems to find nightmareish things.

As for Scandal, well, *gestures*. He is a criminal, and not all too happy to confirm to society.

Depsite the criminal background, Larkin doesn't garner much Suspicion! Perhaps it's because he's better at thievery, and being unseen, or it's the connections but he often doesn't need to hide away.

At the moment, it's the Dilmun club. Larkin isn't much into clubs.

🛤️ Which one are you focusing on developing more than the other/s?

Larkin, as evident by all these answers. I do have another oc. Two, actually. Icarus Swallowfern, a not-so-human seeker, and Mr. Devilbone. A Master Of The Bazaar who deals in Souls and other infernal goods. Runs a shop frequented by devils and often those who come trying to learn more than they should really know.

🎟️ Have they written anything for the Shuttered Palace’s court?

Oh absolutely not. Larkin does not have the time or patience! He has much better things to do. And ugh, being kicked out was so not worth the hassle to get back in. Why bother?

🍏 Free Space: Ask Any Question

I'm going to use this to talk about Larkin's attachment to the city, and how he proceeds around London.

Larkin never meant to grow attached to tge city. But between thr Devils, and his ambition and many other things he has.

He never meant to stay, either. He was supposed to steal this diamond. But a month turned into 3, into a year into... death. Again and again. And his soul, and Clarabelle. Oh god, Clarabelle. His false child.

Larkin is tied to the city. For better or for worse. And oftentimes, Larkin feels incredibly alone. He fears for the future he most certainly doesn't have. The devils like him but... he isn't entirely stupid. More often he is used as a vessel for information, not viewed as a friend. Larkin cannot count true friends on two hands.

This brings me to his relationship with Mr. Fires. Larkin cares little about The Masters of The Bazaar, or what they do. He is not above stealing from the Bazaar or working to be an annoyance at best to them.

However, Mr. Fires? See, Mr. Fires claims to love the city. For that reason you'd think Larkin would take interest in Fires. But, he can't connect.

Larkin holds a grudge. A long standing one, for Fires involvement with his child. Larkin wnats to see Fires as something to look to for hope? safety? He doesn't know what, but Fires cannot provide it.

And because Larkin doesn't forgive, and because of Poor Edward, Larkin would rather kill Fires, than to negotiate. Let Mr. Fires feel his pain, the suffering he shouldered.

Larkin teeters often. Logically, Fires is not the only thing keeping the city alive. But Larkin knows unlike others, Fires doesn't want another city.

In the end, Larkin can only hope that maybe someone will remember him, when his time comes. Or that maybe, maybe, the Devils weren't lying and he does have a place with them, and he'll be okay.

[griefabyss69]

✨🪄 Fic Writing Review 2023 🪩✨

Tagged by one of the most encouraging and friendly people I've ever met, @steddieas-shegoes!

I wanted to wait until the year was truly over to do this, because who knows! I could've ended up writing right up until midnight this morning. I didn't, but I did post on Dec 30th and started a new WIP yesterday evening, so it was close tbh.

Words and Fics

I published 201631 words on ao3! I had really wanted to reach the goal of 20K and I did work hard in the last few days of December to reach it, something I think will help me feel more satisfied when work sucks all of my free time away again.

I wrote 200019 unpublished words! To be fair to myself, I went through and added up the wordcount of every WIP I have that's over 1000 words. That's most of them!

37 fics on ao3 - I think there's maybe 5 little drabbles on tumblr that I didn't put up there.

59 WIPs - Some of these are long and almost finished, some are more of a summary of ideas, and the most common wordcount I came across was 4-5K.

Top 5 Fics by Kudos

Still Motion - Rated E - 6.5K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] Steve poses nude for Eddie so he can do figure sketching from his bed, as Eddie starts to look like he's getting too warm. Of course, it's not the temperature that's getting to him.

Last Man Standing - Rated E - 15.6K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (First fic in the LARP AU series, includes art!) Steve asks Eddie to teach him how to play D&D. Eddie has no idea what's in store for him as Steve throws him for a loop, making the game into something that changes Eddie on a molecular level, if his dick is to believed.

Between Light and Darkness - Rated E - 5.2K - [ AO3 ] Eddie's living in Steve's basement while they figure out the vampire thing, and Steve wants Eddie to have a safer source of blood than going out and hunting - he offers himself. Eddie doesn't want to hurt him, and doesn't think he can control himself. So they argue about this a lot. The arguments lead to a whole new discovery that they never learned from vampire legends.

Acceptance and Negation - Rated E - 18.7K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (Also known as the forniphilia fic) Steve loses a bet against Eddie, who gets to order him around all night. It wasn't intended to be a sex thing until Steve discovered something new about himself.

Waves - Rated E - 4.6K - [ Tumblr ] [ AO3 ] (FKA spit luvrs supreme) Steve watches Eddie a lot, and becomes obsessed with his mouth. They're hanging out one day when he snaps and does something about it.

It's so fun and gratifying to me that a lot of these are from the paraphillia series, a project that I haven't had enough time to work on lately but is something I'm still super interested in!!! I took a leap with this one and the reception has been encouraging!

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

The continuation of my Paraphillia series! I'm hoping this is what I can work on next!

The LARP AU - I don't expect to finish it this year, there's a lot of story in my head and it's a really fun sandbox for me to keep playing around in! I have more art planned for it too if I ever get my attention span for drawing back <3

The Apocalypse AU - The very first and very second fics I finished and published in over a decade! There's still story left here, and I want to revisit it sometime this year.

Challenges! There are SO many fic challenges, and I participated in two in 2023 - @steddiemicrofic and @steddievember. I'm hoping to find the right challenge to add to that list in the new year! I'm also trying to have realistic expectations for what my free time will be like 💀. (Also, shout out to the mods of those two challenges! For Steddiemicrofic, that really gave me a jumping off point to help me meet more people in this fandom and was a very low key, low barrier entry into participating in something! And for Steddievember, thank you for the encouragement, incitement of, and inspiration for some more of my unhinged bullshit favorite type of writing.

And lastly, just a shitload of WIPs I'm so fucking fond of and hope to get to and complete this year <3

Truly thank you to anyone who's ever interacted with me on here! My year looked really fucking different from March (when I posted my first fic) to December. I feel really fucking lucky to have made some good friends here, and I think I grew a lot in some ways that I wouldn't have otherwise! It was scary as hell putting my writing out there at first, and now the main source of tension is that there aren't infinite hours in the day so I can keep up with how much I want to share with you all <3 I'm blowing you all kisses from the abysses 💖 Tagging anyone who hasn't done it yet who wants to!

Rules under the cut <3

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Eat glass or don't, you're in charge of your destiny.

[annabtg]

deleted scenes?! Let’s gooooooo

Ask for Nom De Plume commentary here!

I have so many deleted scenes for NDP xD I think the juiciest ones are the ones that originally belonged in chapter 5!

This one was part of chapter 5 for the longest time, until I remained stuck on ages around chapter 7-8 - I knew I needed some drama between James and Lily at that point but I didn't know what. So after careful consideration, I decided that some of the issues that had been resolved in chapter 5, should remain unresolved and be the cause of drama in chapter 8.

Scene under the cut, more commentary follows right under it!

He let out a heavy exhale and his gaze fell to the floor, disappointed, resigned. “It had to happen. How long would we keep it up anyway? I can’t keep you trapped in this situation forever.” “I don’t feel trapped,” she said, her hand gently reaching out to rub his arm. “I’ve enjoyed doing this with you.” James scoffed. “Yeah, so much fun, getting yelled at and called names.” “That’s not what I mean.” There was something husky in her voice now that made him look up; she had inched closer, and the room was suddenly suffocating, she was stealing all the air out of his lungs – “James –” Her breath came out hot against his mouth, tantalisingly close, and she leaned in until she closed the distance – a fleeting, delicate touch of her lips, those full lips that – He pulled back with a jerk. “Wait.” She stared at him with Lily’s green eyes and unreadable silence on her unfamiliar lips. “Not like this,” he explained, raising his hand near her mouth without daring to touch. “Do it as Lily.” The request brought a strange frown to her face; something between uncertainty and disbelief. Had he ruined the moment? Nevertheless, she picked up her bag from where she’d thrown it on the bed, retrieved her wand and proceeded to Transfigure her face back to normal. James alternated between watching her intently and looking away whenever she took a moment to rest from the pain that scrunched up her face. He should have offered to help. It was the least he could have done after asking her to change for him. What an idiot. “Done,” she said eventually, without much cheer in her voice. He turned around to find her awkwardly standing by the bed, wand thrown back on it, and looking at him with resignation. Oh yes, the moment was well and truly ruined. He had believed that, if he ever got an opportunity to kiss Lily, he wouldn’t be able to hold back the fire that always consumed him when he thought of her – but it seemed that, even thirteen years later, he was no better than the clueless, bumbling teenager who had fallen in love with Lily Evans at first sight. He approached her slowly, timidly. Her arms were hanging limply by her sides, uninviting, reserved; yet he reached out and lightly caressed her palm. “It’s all right if you’ve changed your mind.” “That’s not it,” she mumbled. “Then what is it?” “I’m not –” She lowered her head, looked away; he squeezed her hand to comfort her. “It’s stupid.” “What’s stupid?” She found his eyes as if trying to draw courage from them. “I thought I could be sexy and confident but all I can think about is how Scarlett is prettier than me.” He dropped her hand and reached up to cup her face, both hands slipping across her jawline until his fingertips were buried under her thick, red hair – and he leaned over her mouth to kiss the scarlet lipstick off her lips. “No, she’s not.”

This scene cemented Lily's self-awareness and James's interest in her so well, I later found myself unable to put anything between them. Especially because I wasn't going to add new problems (people, situations) etc. to the mix - the story was already about the length I'd planned, and all I wanted for them was a little drama before the ending, so as to make the resolution more satisfying emotionally.

So, with pain in my heart - because I really liked that scene - I had to cut it. I rewrote the whole thing from Lily's POV, because while we were at it, it fit better from a structural aspect, and made her more surrendered to her emotions and less focused on her self-doubts - which were then free to resurface in chapter 8, given how James now wouldn't get the chance to tell her explicitly that he does, in fact, like her better than Scarlett.

[tenobelisk]

being in charge of things sucked because i had to juggle my mental illness with making sure things operated the way they should. this meant fixing the previous person-in-charge's failure to set and maintain standards. for years. standards for everything, most importantly workload distribution and efficacy.

so while undoing the damage caused by neglect, and shaping new employees to fit the new standards, i had to deal with old employees wondering why standards had changed. they were unfocused except when it came to themselves and their comfort, often at the cost of their coworkers. we were not a team, we did not work together or help each other. it wasn't done that way.

so look, guys, we're all paid shit, you and me, i'm not getting more for doing this. i just can't be part of a poorly run outfit because then you have asymmetrical workload. i will not work harder or less than anyone else in this place. we're all going to just muddle through equally and have each other's backs. we share the burden otherwise some of us end up doing more because the others think passing the problem on to someone else is somehow better than dealing with it themselves. like it's a lottery or playing hot potato with a lump of shit.

i was always working harder, i just couldnt tell them. not only because of my mental issues but because i could not morally or logically give them information that would burden them with more responsibility than they agreed to when they became employed. they were not responsible for making me satisfied i was doing my job, just as i was not responsible for their own satisfaction.

the key thing is that in these situations i was put in a managerial-type position without any improvement in pay or access to resources. so i had to make sure all of us knew we were sharing the work to minimise our individual burdens until we finished our time commitments and went home.

instead i was met with opposition and disdain just for trying to restructure things away from being a selfish free-for-all where one person's slacking off had to be picked up by someone else and they were drawing straws or playing adult hide and seek with effort. just a little bit of care and attention can make all of this time pass easier, instead of a weird hunter-and-hunted game where we try to pass the buck and leave our problems for other people.

in the end i realised i could not convey principles to people who had no willingness to learn anything outside of their own narrow idea of what they wanted. they had come to work for a specific experience and anything else was a flavour in their mouth they spat out without a thought. it just wasn't what they wanted, never mind if it was better or easier. their resentment had turned them toward selfish isolation and away from any kind of hope. they were broken and had no unity.

and i realised how many employers would prefer broken selfish workers at odds with each other. because the times that this worked.. the times that i rallied people together and made them see that we could make our time commitment to this job something we can enjoy and turn to serve our purposes.. those times often ended in bargaining for better wages and work environments. there were walk-outs and mass resignations, conflict and upheaval and revolution. and i realised something.

[chalk-reverie]

Pain things

At the end of my college chapter here are my thoughts in my art journey and maybe my life in general.

I am not a good writer, but I will try to express myself here transparently.

Internship thoughts

I was insecure, jealous of my peers.

My works in character design are always rejected, or yet rather too many revision, which is alright until I keep on comparing myself to my classmates. I notice their work was always accepted, mine was rejected. I know we all lack in study but I felt insecure, since I was static during the pandemic. I hate that other people are better than I but I know myself, I am not working hard enough.

I also felt motivated to study and work more after this internship since school lacks the creativity part, anatomy and basic structure of art. I want to grind, to reach and satisfy myself. I want to create more! I have so much ideas now that my school wasn't supportive on those ideas that I have.

I recognize my lack of practice and self-discipline. I then to go happy go lucky or overestimate myself when I lack the accuracy on drawing things from real life. I get lazy, and easily tired. I am more excited on other things, especially playing games. Because it is easier to do that and socialize than doing what I really want to do; express myself through art.

I am afraid to express what I love. To the world, to my mom, to myself. I want to do it, but I just have too many excuses.

I am honestly, need to learn more.

Thesis Era

I was burnt out. I run my imagination wild again, not looking at the reality that I am facing. During my thesis

I was proud. I told myself, maybe this leadership, is what I fit in, and try that again. I told myself that I can do it. But it was all in my head, I lack communication, and expect to much on the future me.

I am a hoax. A coward, I tried my best, I said, but I really don't.

I am angry. And sad, for people who I suppose to trust with, but it was I, who's only believing.

I was hurt. I cried, felt betrayed once again. Ano pa nga ba aasahan ko sa kanila?

Retreat Era

In Calaruega, where the figure of God Transfiguration: a great change of form or appearance. especially : a change that beautifies, glorifies, or makes more spiritual.

It really did change, comparing to the first time I was there.

Before, I was disconnected with myself, and kept distance with others. But now, I felt disconnected with other people, while I am much interconnected with myself.

I also saw, the difference between me first and the second me who visited this area. Four years, I really did change a lot. I was more willing to forgive myself, and much more reflection than before. Although the hatred was there, I see the world with much more light. Before I was more focus on myself, but now, I was seeing the bigger picture, myself, to others and to my shadow self. But I have a lot of work to do, and I am tired, so tired. The tiredness has never gone away.

My Appearance

I still don't have the confidence. But always want to cut my hair. To cut ties with my mother. I don't want to see her traumas, nor listen to her childhood fears. Their arguments. I don't want to hear it. She scarred me enough during my childhood days. Now that I am an adult, I don't want to hear your advices when they themselves couldn't do it. Hypocrites. I am not relying on my clothes, my appearance... Never. I am tired of fitting on what was pretty on your eyes and other peoples mouth's praises on me.

I AM NOT WEAK!!

My Sexuality

Was r**ed by my peers. They don't understand and I did not try to explain. Melbin keeps making fun of it, insensitive of it. I just have to roll my eyes on him, who doesn't give a fuck about understanding just one bit about it.

Sad, my close friends doesn't understand it as well. Well, I don't really know how to explain it. There is no safe space to talk about it, I am afraid, that my parents would know. I don't want them to know, so I keep quite about it. Like a caged bird, I am afraid to fly.

Low-key talk

I- would like to share one bit. I like, girls, a lot than men. I have terrible experience with men so I could not imagine being happy with them. For other people yes, and I kept saying they are lucky. They are seen, as for who they are. Unlike mine, who was seen for a pretty body, pretty face, the outside. Boys like that, my fucking big butt, my lumps, and not for who I am. My PAIN, my ANGER, MY SCARRED SOUL. No boy wants that, a broken cry-baby nonbinary girlson. No man would understand my pain, or even recognize my insanity. A girl might be. I have my trust on girls, even they broke my heart so many times. They don't want my body, they want to see me, as me. At first they don't want to pry, because they don't know me yet. But when they did, it's like a whole universe expands, and all of my burdens are lifted. I felt that so many times. Soulfully. It just feels so right. I don't know my sexuality yet, I haven't dated anyone, nor talk about it in real life. If ever, I'd like to open my heart once, because I only want to live my life once, but willing to die all over again for anyone who see me as who I am.