#i cant wait a month. i need it NOW IM RIPPING MY HAIR OUT

[haichawlie]

OHHH YEAH OH YEAH

[mieltelecheycrema]

oh god they followed me back i feel sick

[mochamadeleines]

Sweethearts and Sweet Dreams <3

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.” (6.4k words)

tags!! - 18+ modern au! Husband! Joel Miller, Wife! Reader, you guys are happy and in love!, mutual obsession if u squint, lots of exposition im so freaking sorry, pervert Joel if u squint, praise kink joel if you squint, dumbification if you squint, written for those with daddy issues lowkeeyyyyy, written with game joel in mind but could be hbo joel no problem!, lowk i combined the two in my mind, mentions of shy old man joel, housewife! reader (by choice), unspecified age gap but reader is like. thirty? and joels Like...55??, talk about joel taking medication for his anxiety, p in v sex, dirty talk, public sex, outdoor sex, joel has a kink for dresses because i said so? service top joel if you squint, pet names, a pinch of jealousy and possessiveness for fun, playful banter, mentions of maria and tommy and their baby with a made up name Lol, mentions of ellie and sarah (rip), mentions of readers past abusive relationships, talk about joel struggling with substance abuse/addiction and being hospitalized.....Im sure u can theorize why </3, lots of lore ill get into in another fic MAYBE *smirks*, flip flop in perspective, sometimes showing what joel is thinking or what reader is thinking blah blah

authors notes!! - hi there!!! im mocha and this is my first joel fic ever + my first fic posted to tumblr!! im really nervous cuz i havent written anything in months and ive never written joel before so please let me know if you like it!! id love to write more of this au for u guys if theres a demand for it...Thank u for reading!! also barely proof read im ngl. ive been staring at this fic all day im sick of itttt. p.s i dont usually write smut i also kinda do idfk Is this bad or am i tweaking

You step out of the house, morning sun soaking into the roots of your hair and the driveway beneath your feet. Theres a package youve been waiting for. 

You cant contain your grin as you wiggle it out of the hot prison that is your mailbox.

“What the hell are you doin’ out there barefoot?” Joel chastises you from the front door, leaning his elbow on the frame. Joel, your lovely husband of two years. Been together for five. And because of how hard he works, you have the privilege of being a stay at home wife. Some people think that sort of life is stifling, but youve never felt so free. No more jobs you hate, no more financial struggles. Just you, Joel, and your cat, Cement. He likes to pretend it isnt a totally hilarious name for a pet.

You were his first relationship in almost a decade, so it was a lot of work helping him unpack his anxieties about dating, and a lot of work for you to feel safe and unafraid. Honestly? Youve been mistreated by enough men to land you in the psychward.

But Joel never yells at you, he never breaks things when hes angry or threatens to hurt you. He might raise his voice every now and again, but its never because of something you did. Sometimes the stress of life is just too much. 

He works hard, he loves his daughter- daughters- and he would do anything to keep you happy. Whatever you say goes, he says. Even now, you hardly argue. Of course you have disagreements, or off days thatd lead to one of you being especially moody, but the both of you do your best to communicate.

Behind that rough exterior, is someone who just wants to be needed. 

You first met Joel at a youth center you volunteered at, he taught guitar, you taught arts and crafts. Joel says it was your smile and sense of humor that charmed him. It was his singing and southern accent for you.

Your favorite thing about Joel is how soft he gets around you. He says its because you make it easy to be soft. 

Joel was a shy lover at first. He would get nervous just kissing you, or holding your hand. While most people become intimate very early on in their relationship, you and Joel didnt do anything sexual for the first five months of you dated. Sure, you almost did, plenty of times, but he would get so overwhelmed and cut things short. You broke two of your vibrators during this era of your relationship. Embarassing.

You remember your first time very vividly. Joel had worked back to back doubles trying to meet a deadline, and on the final day, after having barely spoken to you for almost a week, you had shown up to his house, unannounced. You were wringing water out of your jacket when he swung the door open. 

“How-” Joel blinks a few times, stepping forward to examine the rainfall. “How long you been out here?”

“Not that long,” You lie and pick up the container you brought off the porch chair. Part of you had a hard time mustering up the courage to even knock on the door. Droplets of water cascade down your chin. “Hi, sorry. I know youre tired.”

He shakes his head, voice soft and warm. “S’fine. Now c’mon, youre gonna get sick.”

Youre seated at the little dining table next to the kitchen now, trying to let the sound of the rainfall ease your nerves.

Joel was quick to grab you a towel, and does the honors of drying your face and hair with it. “Why didnt you jus’ call me? Woulda gotten out of the shower faster if i knew you were gettin’ soaked out there like this.”

“I dunno, sorry.”

“An’ whatd i tell you about apologizin’ all the time?”

“Sor- Uh. Right. Okay.” You tighten your jaw. No more.

Joel moves behind you, now squeezing water out the ends of your hair. “Whas’ that?”

“Oh!-” You peel back the lid, showing it to him. “Old fashion cake donuts are your favorite right? I remember you saying you liked eating them with your coffee in the mornings so…I made these. Youve been working a lot lately and I wanted to do something nice for you.”

Joel gingerly grasps the container from your hands, looking into it. Theyre a warm golden brown, outside evenly fried, and the sweet scent of them hits his nose right away.

“I was just gonna leave them on the doorstep and call you to tell you they were there, but I wanted to see you.”

His adam's apple bobs as he swallows the dryness in his throat. Youre too good for him. 

“Thank you very much.” He presses a kiss to your damp hair. “Now, lets get you into some dry clothes.”

Joel gives you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers to keep you modest while your clothes wash and dry. 

You wait patiently on his bed for the hot chocolate he promised you before you showered. Theres nothing to watch on the tv, so you just turn it off and reach for the lamp on his nightstand instead. 

He comes in quietly, and sets the mug down beside the lamp. You finally come into focus, clear as day even under the low lighting.

“You uh.. You look nice.”

You blink. “I look nice?”

“In my shirt.”

That gets a smile out of you. 

Joel tips his head towards the mug. “S’hot so, give it a few minutes. Dont want you burnin’ your mouth.”

You nod. “Okay.”

Hes sat beside you now and the two of you sit in silence for a while. Its not awkward, just the kind of silence where both of you want to say something but just.. Cant.

Joel unravels first. “Missed you, y’know. Just been tired.”

“I know.” Your voice wobbles, and Joels jaw tightens like hearing you sound so sad stings him. “I missed you, too.” 

He slides his hand over yours, giving it a squeeze. Its okay. 

“Hey Joel...Can I stay the night?” 

“Sure. Id really like that.”

While you drink your hot chocolate, you and Joel catch up. You both talk about work, and about your new found interest in baking. Joel teases you about your lack of cooking skills, you do the same. Youre both useless. 

When its time to climb into bed, neither of you can actually fall asleep. Joel rolls onto his side, away from you and the window. You follow, curling up like a little cat against his back. The sensation is nice for the both of you.

You speak up after a little while.

“Joel?”

“Mm.”

“Thank you for letting me stay.”

He scoffs, voice thick with exhaustion. “Like I'd force you to leave after you brought me such a nice present.”

You let out a little giggle, “So if i didnt, youd kick me out?”

“Id think ‘bout it.”

You gasp, gently shoving at his back. “Thats mean…!”

“S’really not.”

“Oh yeah? And what if I poisoned them?.”

“Then itd jus' be a regular day of your cookin’ then.” Joel reminds you, lighthearted. Too many times where you left the shells in your eggs or burnt toast or left the bacon on the pan for too long.

“You cant get mad at me for my dark past when you made a perfectly good sirloin taste like horse leather.”

“Ugh. Dont remind me. That was like putting a one-hundred dollar bill into a paper shredder. How do either of us stay alive again?”

“Uh. Digiorno?”

“Digiorno.”

After a few moments, Joels rolling over again, and hes guiding your head to settle against his chest. Your arms wrap around him, and his arms around you. 

“Joel,” You whisper. He hums. “Im cold.”

“S’cause youre not wearin’ any pants.”

“And whos fault is that?”

“Still yours.”

“I was left out in the rain like a sad, sopping wet cat. One that was left in a box all alone with no family…” You pretend to sniffle. “Dont you feel bad for me?”

Joel sighs, not saying anything more except making sure the part of the comforter behind your back is tucked into your side so the cold air doesnt get in. When hes done, you do a little shimmy up his body, and throw your leg over his hip. Oh no.

Hes alert now. Very alert. Be normal. Joel hesitates, licking the dryness off his lips. “Uh. Feel better?”

“Mhm.” You push your face into his throat, cat-like, before settling down again. Hes like a radiator.

Actually scratch that, he cant be normal. 

“Darlin’.” He rasps, patting your back to get your attention.

“Mm?”

“Your leg. Move it.”

A few beats pass. “Why?”

“Because…” Wow,  he didnt think hed get this far. You shift forward and Joel lets out a quiet exhale through his nose, one that couldve been masked by the rain if you werent so close.

“Are you-”

“No! No. Its- Its not what you think-” He cant see your face in the darkness but he knows you feel the semi-hard struggling through the confines of his pants. Lame.

“Joel,” You say, soft. Your hands slide up his arm to cradle his jaw. Lightning flashes into the room, giving you a glimpse of Joels tight expression. He whispers your name back, just as soft.

“This is normal.” 

Its normal, it is! Except for the fact that you guys havent had sex yet. The stress of being intimate is too much, kills his boner in a blink. The longer he waits the worse the anxiety gets.

“I-I know.”

You place a hand on his chest, feeling it pound away like crazy through all the soft muscle.  

“Youve been taking your medication, right?”

Has he?

The silence of him thinking is proof enough. “Joel-”

He sighs, rubbing his eyes through the darkness .“I know, I know. Shoot, Im sorry. I just forget sometimes.”

“Its okay.” The pad of your thumb strokes the tops of his cheek, and you press a tender kiss to his mouth to soothe him.  “...Want me to remind you?”

The softness of your lips has him a bit dazed. “Huh?”

“I said, do you want me to remind you? I can- You know, call you before you leave work. Make sure you take them.”

“You know I wake up at five-o-clock in the mornin’ , right?”

“I know.” 

In a whisper, “Okay.”

Joels rough palms trail down your back and stop at the curve of your butt, finger tips delicately tracing the skin above your shorts. You shiver.

Barely above a whisper. “We dont have to go all the way.”

He says your name again, laced with worry. He doesnt want you to feel pressured. 

You pull your leg off his hip and push yourself up, settling your hands on either side of Joels head.

“Can I tell you something?”

“Yes-”

“-And you cant get all in your head about it. You stay here, with me. You stay present.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, a bit defeated. “I will stay present.”

“When you...When you say you dont wanna have sex, what is it that youre thinking exactly? I know you said you just get really nervous but I feel like youre not being totally honest.”

Joel stays quiet, idly rubbing your sides. Maybe you are a cat. Just getting to feel any part of you is soothing. “I jus’ want you to feel good. ‘Fraid ill do somethin’ you dont like.”

“You cant assume how I feel, Joel. Being intimate.. It takes time to learn what the other person likes.”

He sighs. “I know.” Youre always right.

Adding on, “Like I said, we dont have to go all the way,” You lean further back, situating yourself on his hips. He lets out a shaky breath when he feels the pressure of your ass through his sweats.

“But, I want to start somewhere. I want to feel you.” 

“Fuck- Um-” Hes shaking now, letting you grind your hips down onto him. Joel cant seem to control the way his hips instinctively push up to meet yours. Youre both becoming of a mess of little gasps and hot breaths and tiny whimpers already.

You hunch forward, guiding his hand under your your shirt- His shirt- letting him feel up the supple skin of your stomach, then the area where your ribs are, then your-

“And I want you to feel me,”

Surprisingly, you did actually go all the way that night.

Your sex life was a bit of a rocky start, but after Joel got over most of his anxiety, you learned quickly just how goddamn insatiable he was. Five years in and he still regularly makes you sore. 

There are a couple things you learned about him and his sexual interests. He loves to take you in his truck, in your kitchen, in your bathroom, on your couch. Other, riskier places. Anywhere that isnt your bed apparently, not that he isnt fucking you there either.

Joel is handsy, so handsy infact it embarasses you to no end, especially when youre infront of others. Thats usually how it starts, too. First he kisses you, then gropes your hips and your ass, and the next thing you know, youre cumming on his fingers. Then hed bend you over, or get you on your back, or make you ride him. Is it really riding if hes just slamming up into you until your brain turns into mush?

He likes that too. Making you not think.

Youd be lying if you said its only ever him. Sleepy morning handjobs before work, whining to him over the phone and touching yourself to his voice, arching your back into him while you're washing dishes, sucking him off after hours in his office.

And while most men prefer lingerie or little costumes, Joel likes dresses. Dresses that are discreet so he can take you in the backyard when he comes home early and sees you gardening. Or when youre both at a friends house and hes had a little too much to drink and finds himself alone with you. Dresses that make it easy to play his favorite game with you. I touch you, and you make sure we dont get caught by being too loud. Joel really is the worst sometimes.

Now, you only ever wear pants when its cold, or to bed or sometimes when youre lounging, like today. Youre in some shorts and a tank top. Otherwise, its dresses all year round, usually retro styles or ones meant for spring. Joels not picky though, he loves any dress on you.

Even if you wear an extremely modest, white lacey sleep dress, looking like some kind of vintage ghost, the man would still keep you up all night. And he has. He said you looked like a princess. You guess you kind of did.

The entire thing is like an unspoken arrangement between you both. He doesnt tell you to wear them, you just do.

And he works hard to spoil you, so why not buy as many cute dresses as possible? 

You got a cute dress today too, on the same day Joel has off. You think its going to be a new favorite of his.

The big polymailer stays hidden behind your back. Be casual. “Uh- Nothing!”

“Nothin’?”

“Mhm.”

“Whats behind your back then?”

You sway in place, trying to suppress a knowing smile. “I dont have anything behind my back.”

“Lemme see then. Show me your hands-”

“Hey, Mrs. Miller!”

Both you and Joel turn your heads to the voice, and only one of you has the energy to fake a a smile. Your neighbor is stopping in his driveway, having come back from a jog it looks.

“Hi, Lee.” 

Joel really, really, really doesnt like Lee. You dont like him either, but youre not one to cause problems. Lee on the other hand, is. Hes a bit younger than you, and a lot younger than Joel. Hes one of those tech dudes with a massive ego, thinks that youll be swayed by his money and his “charm” and youth as if youre some sad housewife in need of saving. Gross. 

And another thing, Lee doesnt even actually live here! Hes here ever so often to visit his dad between, you dont know, tech expos? You forget. Joel believes he started showing up more often to see you. 

Youre walking towards the porch again. Joels looking especially unhappy to see him today, knuckles pulled taut into a fist. His lips stay pressed into a thin line, careful not to let anything slip out. He usually lets you do most of the talking, as much as it pains him. 

Joels really not a fan of the way Lees eyes take a trip up your bare legs. Little shit.

“Out with no shoes again, Mrs. Miller?”

“You know me, Im uh- Im weird.”

“The weird ones do it best.” He smiles, all teeth. It gives you the creeps. His attention is on Joel now. Its like watching a puppy try to one up a wolf. “Right, Joel?”

“Uh huh.” Whatever that means.

“Actually, I've been meaning to ask you something, Mrs. Miller.” Lee crosses into your driveway and you glance briefly at Joel, as if to make sure he isnt going to start growling at the other to stay away. Youre clutching the package to your chest now. 

“Have you ever been to a support group for uh- you know, the spouses of addicts?  I have a friend from work and shes really struggling.” 

Lees tone is sugary sweet, but the fake kind you put in diet soda except that stuff is way better. Joel sighs from the door. You stand there, dumbfounded on the porch steps because what the fuck is he going on about. 

You clear your throat, keeping your voice firm. “No. Ive never needed to.”  

Joels voice cuts in like a knife. “Been clean for almost twenty years now.”

“Yeah but, you know,” He shrugs, squinting a bit under the morning sun. “Relapses happen.”

Joel and Lee are at a stand still, and the moment Joel lets the arm leaning on the frame drop to his side, you know youre in for a lot of trouble. You move quickly towards the door. “We have to get ready for a- uh- a thing? but Im sorry about your friend.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Miller. Im doing my best to support her.” And before he turns away, he just has to be slimy to you. “If you need someone to talk to, Im here for you.”

“No, that really wont be necess-”

Joels slinging a strong arm around you to yank you back inside before shutting the door. 

“Motherfucker,” He hisses to himself, stomping through the walkway and into the kitchen.

“How-” You rub your eyes, letting them adjust to the light inside of the house. You put the package down onto the bar counter that opens up the kitchen and follow Joel to the fridge. “How does he know?? I thought-”

“Been living in this house for decades now,” His expression is tight, brows knitted together while he chugs a bottle of water. “People talk. ‘Specially if I'm being rolled into an ambulance on more than one occasion.” Joel frowns. “Fuck- I shoulda punched him in the fuckin’ face- Do you see how hard he tries so hard to flirt with you infront’a me?”

“I know, love. I was there.” You take the bottle from his hand and set it to the side, then wrap your arms around him. “Try not to let it get to you okay?”

Joel sighs into your hair, giving your body a squeeze. “I know, I know, but jus’ hearin’ him tryin’ta use my baggage to make a pass at you…S’fuckin’ evil.”

“I agree, but I dont want his blood on the driveway.”

“So get it on his driveway instead, got it.”

You giggle and tip your head up to kiss him. The tension eases from Joels shoulders, and he cups your cheeks, letting his worries melt away into your mouth. When the pads of his fingers start to slide under your tank top, youre leaning back. Youll be here for a while if this goes any further.

Joel mindlessly chases your lips, looking a bit pouty now that its over.

“Im gonna start getting ready for the barbecue, okay?”

“This early?”

“I like being punctual.” 

“My brother wont give a damn if were late.” He noses your jaw, pressing a kiss here and there. Your knees are beginning to feel weak. The bastard is trying to distract you.

“But I do. The farmers market opened today, and I promised Maria I'd get her fresh strawberries before we got there, remember?”

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles into your shoulder.

Joel lets you go, watching you round the bar counter to get your package and disappear upstairs.

-

Ever since you came down to a freshly showered Joel, and got into the car with the gift bags you prepared for Maria and Tommy, Hes been staring at you. One wrong move and the drools gonna start pouring out of his mouth.

Your hair is in its relatively natural state, freshly washed and shiny from the oil you put in it. You put on some light makeup, and went a bit heavy handed on the blush to look sunkissed, and topped it off with a flavored lip gloss Joel especially enjoys. 

Now, the dress. Its a pink floral mid-length dress, with a low cut sweetheart neckline and a corset style backing to cinch your waist and push out your chest. The material is thick and pretty, and there are two other layers under the skirt to keep its shape. You have on a pair of little pink pumps with little bows to match. 

The drive to the farmers market is fairly peaceful, the windows are half down and theres music playing at low volume on the radio. You and Joel have different tastes in music, but one genre you can always agree on is alternative rock. 

The weathers beautiful, sun high in the sky, and its not too hot or humid. The day really is perfect. Youre gonna soak up some sun when youre at the barbecue. Hopefully, they made lemonade again too.

Joel has been mostly quiet throughout your shopping. While it would worry some, youve been with him long enough to know that he just has a lot on his mind. What hes thinking about? Maybe youll learn when you make it back home at the end of the day.

You gasp, strolling through the grass to a stand with a mountain of apples. Granny smith, Macintosh, Pink Ladys, Honeycrisp, the works. He grunts, trying to keep the things that are already in your basket steady. You came for strawberries and are going to leave with much more than that.

Joel nudges you softly. “Remember, this is quality stuff, meaning itll go bad faster. Dont get too much.”

“Okay, got it.” You beam, and then begin inspecting the Pink Lady apples first, trying to find the ones with the best color.  He keeps the basket within reach so you can drop your picks in.

"These were Sarahs favorites."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was funny 'cause we started arguin' over these or Red Delicious. I think Red Delicious is better."

"Thats so cute! Hmm. Should we get one for her? A Pink Lady?"

"Uh," He thinks on it for a moment, unsure, but the smile on your face helps him make a decision. "Sure, why not."

You drop two perfect Pink Ladys into the basket, moving onto the next pile.

“Hey, Joel.” You grin, holding out a wrinkled granny smith apple. “This one looks like you”

“Ha ha.” He deadpans, and grabs it from you to put back. In turn, hes reaching for the runt of the pile. A pathetically small one sitting near the bottom. “Now this one looks like you.”

“Does not!”

“Does too.” 

The next stand has golden kiwis, and youre practically dragging Joel forward to try them. You ask for one, and the man at the stand slices it into halves, giving you a plastic spoon to go with. 

You let Joel smell it first. “S’good.”

“Lets see if it tastes good.”

You sink your spoon into it, humming when you see how soft and easy it is to scoop out. In your mouth it goes!

Its tastes sweet, a bit mango-y and fucking delicious. You bounce in place, spoon feeding Joel next. “Oh yeah,” He smiles, smacking his lips a bit to really let the taste settle on his tongue. “Were takin’ some of these.”

You take one, then two, then three and four then five and as you reach for the sixth one, Joels stopping you with a gentle hand. 

“Darlin’.” 

“Right.” 

For the next few stands its just you and Joel trying various kinds of fruit. Starfruit, blueberries, some mangos, and then youre going back to the truck.

“I think my favorites were the mangos and golden kiwis. I hope Maria and Tommy have enough space in their fridge for all of this.”

“They moved into a bigger house, I reckon their fridge s’probably bigger, too.”

“What time is it?” 

You let go of Joels arm so he can switch the basket from one hand to the other. 

“‘Bout…” Hes squinting at his watch. “12:34 in the afternoon.”

“Oh! Guess we got the shopping done sooner than I expected. Hmm. Should we stop somewhere in the mean time?-" You snap your finger when you remember something. "They opened up this cafe that has cats in it! We can drink coffee and play with them for bit! The next fourty-five minutes will go by super fast."

“Youre gonna make Cement jealous.”

You bat your hand dismissively. “Hes not gonna caaare.” 

“Oh yes he will. And remind me again why we named our cat Cement?

“Uh, we were both drunk and had gotten him the day before without a name picked out?”

“A whole year later and we still kept it. Worst pet owners ever.” Joel chuckles, opening the passenger door for you like he always does. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm.”

The giant basket of fruit goes into the back seat next to the gift bags before Joel slots himself into the drivers seat. 

You fumble with the radio a bit, trying to see what else is on but ultimately landing back on your preferred station. Theyve been playing a lot of Linkin Park recently. Hell yeah. Joel buckles himself in at last, and pulls out of the parking lot. 

“Marias gonna teach me how to make baked chicken,” You hum, gazing outside the window.

“You sure youre not jus’ unteachable?”

“Ha ha,” You lightly shove his shoulder, making him smile. “I thought you loved the meat sauce pasta I learned how to make.”

He settles into his seat more comfortably at the stop light, elbow rested on the window. “Got me with that one. Think I like ground turkey over beef, though.”

“Yeah? Me too. The beef tastes better but the turkey is lighter. Stops me from feeling all sick.”

“Agreed.”

Youre looking out the windshield now. Where did all the buildings go? Youre out of the city. 

“Uh, Joel?”

“Mm?”

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere to kill time.”

“Yeah but where?”

“Youll see.” 

Your brows pinch together. “I see a whole lot of nothing except for trees."

“Almost there.”

Joel makes a hasty left turn onto some campgrounds. Your stomach starts to twist into excited knots. Is he gonna show you a baby deer or something? Bunnies? He used to be a park ranger for this area, and would tell you stories about all sorts of baby animals hed run into.

The car comes to a stop, and he turns the engine off. Silence.

“So…Were out in the woods to kill time?”

“Mhm.” Joel unbuckles his seat belt and twists into the back to grab the spare jacket he usually keeps there, then gets out of the truck and comes around the back to open the door for you. 

He holds your hand to help you get down from the passenger side, and as soon as both of your shoes hit the ground Joel is on you. 

You dont know where your hands should go, youve kissed Joel a thousand times and yet you still get so flustered when he catches you by surprise. You keep your hands on his shoulders for now, letting him press wet kisses to your neck and shoulder.

“This is new right? The dress?” He gives your ass an appreciative squeeze through the fabric. “Thought you looked so pretty when you came down stairs in it.” 

Your heads spinning. Something about your dress? 

“Woulda been okay if you let me have you earlier.” He pulls away, examining your flushed face cradled by his hand. Every part of you just fits so well in his palms. “Then I thought, why not have you now? We got time to spare.”

“Joel- We- Someone could see us-” You sputter, and Joels already shaking his head with a knowing smirk. He pulls you around to the bed of the truck, popping it open, only pausing to spread open the jacket he grabbed, just having just thrown it in there when he came around to get you.

“No ones gonna come lookin’ for us.” He turns you around, pushing you down onto your front. “As long as youre quiet.” 

Fuck. You really hate this game. At least, you like to tell yourself that.

Blood rushes to your ears while Joels rough palms lift up the skirt of your dress, exposing your ass and thighs to the cool air. He whistles from behind you. 

“Red lace panties?” His fingers dont shy away from tracing along the fabric covering your cunt. “This new too?”

You crane your neck over your shoulder to look at his face. “Uh.. Surprise?”

Joels smiling now, fingers dipping under the lace. “Thas' awfully sweet of you.”

His touch slips and slides around your growing wetness, then trails down to your clit. Your voice wobbles a bit and fuck- fuck hes going too fast. “Joel- Ah-” You whimper and try to push yourself up to look at him but his hand is steady on your spine, keeping you down. 

Smug, “Go on, sweetheart. Keep sayin’ my name. Jus’ like that.”

A whine escapes you when he pulls away, “Nooo.” You push your ass back, as if to entice him. You succeed, because hes skipped his usual routine of fucking you with his hands and is now unbuckling his belt.

Joel rolls you onto your back, and peels your underwear all the way off, bunching it up and shoving it into his back pocket. Your face burns just watching him.

“Think i'll hold onto these for a lil’ while.”

His hands push the back of your knees towards your chest, exposing your heat. Youll never get used to the way he just seems so interested just watching your cunt squeeze around nothing. 

“Thats-” You swallow, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. "Joel.”

“Relax." He coos, "Seen it a thousand times already, and ill be seein' it a thousand more. Get used to it, honey.”

Your attention flickers down to where his dick is about to meet your entrance. Joels nudging you down onto your back again and pulling the top of your dress down to expose your chest. Its when youre distracted that he actually moves to push himself in.

Both of you groan together, and Joel could never get bored of fucking you, not when your cunt just pulses around him everytime hes inside you.

Joel wastes no time fucking you once he eases all the way inside. Youre trying your best to keep quiet. Shit is no easy task. Its like Joel is trying to get you guys arrested.

He props himself up with a hand near your head, and lets the other keep one of your legs pinned open. The moans start to claw out of your throat. “Joel- Joel-” 

“Shh. Thas’ enough.” He growls through his teeth, fucking you harder. “Youre gonna- Gh- Get us caught-”

Something rustles between the trees, making you both freeze. You clasp your hands over your mouth, watching Joel straighten up to look around.

After a few seconds of squinting, Joel can see a few foxes moving about through the trees. Thank fuck. His shoulders visibly relax.

Hushed, “E-Everything okay?”

“Yeah, jus’ some animals.” 

And like that, hes back to it. His dick is going to make your eyes permanently stay rolled into your head. 

Joel is always just so handsome when hes pounding into you. His forehead gets shiny with sweat, and his jaw is tight from clenching his teeth, keeping himself quiet so he can focus on your moans. His face is noticeably redder against his usual farmers tan too. Really, hes just so attractive.

A flurry of yes and harder and fuck spills out of your mouth and into your palms. Not too loud, you try to remind yourself.

“Joel- S’too much-”

“Nah, thas’ not it.” He huffs, humorous. “You can take it. Y'always do. In fact, you love gettin’ your cunt bullied by me, aint that right?” As if to get his point across, he thrust in all the way to the hilt, making you keen. You forgot how to breathe, lungs drawing tight in your chest.

"Fuck," You manage to squeeze out.

Your palms push weakly at his shoulders, trying to ground yourself somehow. His head drops to the junction of your neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply.

“You good?” He checks in, breath hot on your skin. As if your crying isnt enough.

“So g-good, Joel- Fuck- Youre so good.” 

With a little nod, Joels pushing himself up, switching to slow and deep strokes, really digging himself into you, and trying to find that spot he likes to call home.

He massages your chest, then squeezes your sides and your hips and finally, his thumb finds your clit. Immediately, you jolt. 

“Oh fuck-” 

“Quiet.” And he says it to keep the charade going, even though his favorite thing is hearing your sobs.

His thumb rubbing incessantly against your that sweet little nub of yours. You choke, and Joels chuckling, watching the way you squirm, body not knowing whether it should lean into his touch because its too good or away because its too much.

It starts with this firey feeling under the pad of his thumb, then deep inside your stuffed cunt. Youre going to cum. 

Your hands fly to your mouth again, and you get all wide eyed from the sensation. Its cute. Your muscles pull taut, legs locking around Joels hips. Youre wailing into your palm when it happens.

“Good girl,” His voice soothes you through it. “Very good.”

He pets away the fly aways sticking to your sweaty face when its over. Your eyes drop shut while you catch your breath. 

Joels moving again now. He rolls his hips a few times, and thumb is building the foundation of another orgasm in you. Youre shaking badly.

Your words slur too, “Cant- Too soon- Joel- Joel-”

“Another one.” Joel says firmly, but breathless. 

Youre gasping, not sure where to focus your eyes. The trees around you look like theyre spinning. Your attention is back on Joel, whos looking rather satisfied watching you squirm and cry. If thats how wants to play, then fine.

Your hands slide up Joels biceps, and rests on the nap of his neck to bring him down. “Juh-Joel,” You pant, cradling his face with both hands. “Youre so good- The best-”

Oh, Joel likes that one, you can tell by the way he looks away briefly. Shyness. Excitement runs up your spine. Joel loves being told hes doing well. 

“You are- Nghh-” You swallow the drool in your mouth, trying to get the words out clearly. “The best husband I could ever ask for.”

Joel wheezes, head dropping into the curve of your shoulder. “Please.”

“S’true,” You nod rapidly, fingers curling into his hair. “Youre so good to me and-and youre mine and- Joel-  Im yours.”

“Jesus-” He groans, soaking up the feeling of you pressing kisses to his face and up his jaw. 

“Hhah-  No one else can have me, okay? No one- Not even-”

The name doesnt even come out of your mouth before Joels coming to a stop to slip his arms all the way around your middle. With the new leverage he has on your body, hes drilling his way into you. You fucking squeal, rules now long forgotten. Youre a useless ragdoll in his arms and he wouldnt have it any other way.

Your lips are shiny with spit and left over lip gloss, and he can still taste the mintiness in his tongue. Every now and again your eyes drop shut, but his dick just punches into your guts a little harder. Look at me. 

Your brain is mush, just the way he likes it, and youre perfectly pliant in his arms, babbling over how good you feel. Hes kisses along the valley of your breasts now, stopping to suck the flesh of your nipples.

Youre just so pretty. Even when you have bedhead, or youre snotty from a cold, or youre all dirty from working in the garden  youre still so pretty. Including now, all sweaty with you lipgloss all smudged and your mascara starting to run. Youre perfect. 

Joel grunts loud, jaw clenched tight as he gets lost in the feeling of your insides. His perfect little wife.

When he cums, hes doubling over with a loud grunt, getting a few last thrusts in before his spent floods your cunt.

Youre blinking away your tears, now watching the clouds inch along the sky. It really is a beautiful day. You pet Joels sweaty hair, and kiss the side of his temple. Your core throbs faintly. Jesus, he did a number on you.

“Love,” You say softly, patting his back.

“Mm?”

“Get up.” Another pat. “Youre squishing me.” 

Joel backs off to buckle himself up, but you stay seated to catch your breath and adjust your dress. At least it didnt get ripped during all the… Commotion. Not like last time.

“I need my underwear back.”

“Nope,”

“Joel.”

He kisses the center of your forehead and helps you down from the bed and into the passenger seat instead.  “Told you i'm keepin’ ‘em.”

You sputter, “I cant go to barbecue commando!”

“Sure you can.” He pops open the glove compartment and gets out some tissues, hand snaking under your dress again to clean you. You sigh softly at the sensation.

“Youre the worst.”

“I am indeed the worst.” Joel pulls the seatbelt over your chest and clicks it in. “You can tell me all about it on the way to Tommys.” 

[bkgml]

MORE EX BF BAKUGO STUFFS PLSSSSSS

actually my fav trope it’s an illness 🙈

*incoming call from kirishima*

is the notification lighting up your screen.

it’s 3am, is what the clock is telling you as you crack an eye open while groaning.

“fuck.” you whine as you grab your phone, sliding your thumb to the answer button.

“hello?” you croak, still tired from sleep.

you hear an uneasy sigh from the other line.

“uhm. hey yn. it’s kirishima.” he says.

you can hear the urgency in his voice even though he’s desperately trying to hide it.

“hi kirishima. why are you calling me?” you say as politely as you can for it being 3 in the morning.

“i know it’s late, i’m sorry. bakugou got in an accident, it’s bad.” he says and your heart drops.

“that sucks, i’m sorry. we’re broken up though. so uh… what does this have to with me?” you ask timidly.

“is that her? let me fucking talk to her!” you hear the voice of your ex boyfriend in the background.

“i don’t want to talk to him.” you say calmly.

you hear a sigh from the other end followed by a ‘hang on’.

“i know. the situation is complicated though, can you let me explain?” he asks and you can hear the pleads in his tone.

you pause before speaking.

“…alright fine.” you breathe.

“thanks. bakugou man im going in the bathroom for a second!” he calls to katsuki.

you hear rustling and shouting before the click of a doorknob.

“okay. he needs you.” he says slowly, cautiously.

“kirishima-“ you frown.

“i know.” he cuts in.

“we got attacked by villains today and he got hit with a memory loss quirk.”

“so… what does he remember?” you whisper.

“pretty much everything important. except…”

you stay silent while you wait in anticipation for his response.

“the breakup.”

your breath hitches.

“kirishima, open the fucking door! i need to talk to her!”

you can hear the pounding.

the pounding on the door.

along with the pounding of your heart in your ears.

“yn. he needs you. i know this is awful to ask of you. we don’t know how long this will last and in his mind, the love of his life is refusing to see him after he’s been injured. please come. please.”

the pounding continues.

“yn! baby, can you hear me? what did i do?? just let me talk to you. kirishima let me talk to her!”

he’s pleading through the door. like he was on your last night together.

“fuck. fine. i’ll be there in ten but i want all of you to delete my number after this.” you say as you rip the covers off your body in annoyance.

you walk up the stairs of your ex boyfriends apartment building, where you left your heart six months ago.

you knock on the door and kirishima half opens it, restricting you from bakugou.

“hey. thank you for this.” he says, quietly.

you switch your weight on your feet and glance at you hands.

“yeah… what do i need to do exactly?” you sigh.

kirishima clears his throat awkwardly.

“well. knowing him he will probably kick me out so it’ll just be the two of you. since he has no memory he’ll probably act however he would after a fight with you.” he replies.

“so he’s going to kiss and hug me?” you frown, raking a hand through your hair.

kirishima sighs before the two of you hear loud footsteps, barreling towards you.

“baby?! hey, what did i do? hm? come inside.” bakugou mumbles out, reaching for your arms.

you smile weakly before you’re being pulled into the apartment by your wrist.

he brings the two of you to sit on the couch and you look at kirishima.

“act natural!” he mouths to you.

“hey, suki.” you softly say, nickname foreign on your tongue.

“did we get in a fight?” he asks.

you gulp, playing with your fingers.

“yeah. kind of.” you reply.

he huffs to himself.

“i cant fucking remember. i still cant. damn quirk should’ve worn off by now.” he glares at his coffee table, arms crossed.

you hesitate but eventually place your hand on his back, rubbing comforting circles into his skin.

he looks at you softly.

“can we fight tomorrow when i remember? just wanna sleep with you.” he whispers, frown present on his face.

you sigh, taking a moment to think to yourself.

“okay, katsuki.” you smile wearily.

he leans forward to press soft kisses to your lips.

you exhale into the kiss, bringing your hand up to cup his face.

he shift to kiss down your neck before nuzzling into it.

“okay guys, i’m still here.” kirishima says awkwardly.

you laugh lightly and katsuki frowns at him.

“are you stayin over?” katsuki asks. he’s familiar with kirishima needing to stay the night after dangerous missions. his own home seeming too empty and dark.

kirishima nods and katsuki stands from the couch, pulling you with him.

“night.” the boys say to each other as kirishima settles on the couch and katsuki pulls you to his room.

you look behind you and kirishima sends you a comforting smile.

as soon as the door shut behind the two of you, you felt katsukis hands under your arms until he tosses you on his bed.

you laugh lightly, your mind feeding you bittersweet memories of moments just like this one.

katsuki crawls up the bed until he reaches your stomach, flopping down onto you and burying his face into your shirt.

“hi.” you say sweetly.

soon your shirt is lifted and he’s pressing open mouthed kisses into your skin.

“hi. ‘m sorry we fought. love you.” he mumbles, lifting himself on his forearms and crawling higher up on your body.

you nod. failing to reciprocate his love.

he frowns and sucks the skin under your collarbone.

“love you.” he repeats again, frown on his face.

“kats-.” you whine, voice breaking.

“what’s going on? was our fight bad?” he soothes, rubbing circles into your cheek with his thumb.

you feel your tears bubble over as you nod.

going to wipe your tears before he could see them. he beat you to it, kissing them away then pressing a warm kiss to your temple.

“it’s over now, yeah?” he asks.

you whimper and tuck your face into his neck.

“i want it to be but when your memory comes back you’re gonna leave me again.” you cry, fisting his shirt while tripping over your words.

he shushes you, bringing a hand to the back of your head and scratching your back.

“it’s okay, sweet thing. we’re okay.” he whispers against your neck.

“just go to sleep, yeah?”

you nod hesitantly and katsuki rolls onto his back with you clinging on.

you cuddle up sweetly on his chest and he scratches your back until you drift off.

“are we broken up?” katsuki asks shakily.

kirishima turns to see katsuki standing in the doorway.

“uhhhh. i don’t think you and me were ever together.” kirishima laughs uncomfortably.

“you know what i fucking mean.”

kirishima groans, dragging a hand down his face.

“i’m trying to stay out of this.” he frowns.

bakugou clenches his fists.

“i deserve to know.”

“katsuki?” you call from the bedroom.

“you’re telling me tomorrow.” he frowns at kirishima.

kirishima nods in reply and katsuki walks back into the bedroom.

“hi sweets.” he smiles, climbing into bed with you and kissing your neck.

you scratch at the base of his hairline in appreciation.

“why’d you go?” you ask softly.

he knows you’re trying not to sound scared.

even though you both know you were a little tense.

“my memory’s still gone.” he smiles, giving you soft kisses.

“just needed some water.” he says against your lips.

“mmm.” you hum into the kiss, relief washing over you.

“let’s lay down, yeah?”

“let’s lay down, yeah?”

“i cant.” you sputter, gasping through sobs.

his hands are on your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs.

you shake your head while stepping back, using your hands to push at his chest.

“baby.” he reasons.

“you can’t call me that.” you whine.

“i love you so much, just sleep here with me.” he pleads.

you wrap your hands around his wrists and tug his hand from your face harshly.

“is that you talking? or the commission?” you say coldly.

his face turns solemn, allowing his arms to drop.

“i just want you to be safe.” he whispers.

you fist his shirt.

“you keep me safe.” you cry, tears flowing freely.

he wraps his arms around you, tightly.

“the commission doesn’t think so, sweets.” he replies, his own eyes filling with tears.

you watch as the love of your life’s memory comes back.

and he watches while yours fill with tears.

you grab onto his shirt with the tightest grip you can muster.

“please don’t go, katsu.” you whimper.

his face morphs into the familiar face that plagues your dreams.

“no.” you plead.

“no. no. no.”

he drops his head so his face is in your neck.

“i need you safe. you’re not safe when you’re with me.” you feel tears on your neck.

“i don’t wanna be safe. i want you.”

he brings his head up to look at you.

“i want you too.” you smile through your tears at his words.

he kisses your cheeks softly.

“but we can’t be together, baby. at least not for now.” he says, pressing his forehead to yours.

the two of your cry together, entangled in each others embraces.

until you fall asleep, dried tears on your faces and his lips on your forehead.

part 2

[marijkeoo]

my friend tried to kill herself and we crack jokes in the hospital room about the causes and effects and i love her but goddamn was it hard to stay awake i thought i was going to throw up after that spicy marg but i didnt and she kept drinking and now its all gone ive fallen off the horse but im still running beside it and i hope that i can get a second to breathe soon i couldnt recognize myself in the mirror on monday and i got up anyways and went to class i think i might have some kind of weird relationship with food but ive been eating scones with soft butter even though its so expensive and ive been healing i think my sister is still so incredibly stupid but at least i dont have to hear about it all the time and get unreasonably upset about the fact that we dont talk anymore and nothing ever changes but nothing stays the same my friend from back home is ghosting me even though we live a mere 10 minute bus ride away and it hurts i think even though i dont really think about her much my roommate is going back to toronto and might drop out but ive done it too and i think that everything will all work out itll all work out itll all work out itll all work out my parents are coming in two days and i wont tell them i want to sleep and im so aimless but i will say that i love the city and i love living here and im grateful every day for my life even if i wake up at 1pm after getting home at 6 and i miss my classes and its not even that i learn anything i just love a ritual and i was going to go get a job today but i think it has to wait another little bit and i have work to do but i think maybe its ok to eat some tinned fish and let my hair dry i never used to shower in the morning but now i dont always shower at night i want to be like the elif batuman character and go for runs and pretend everything is fine and study linguistics but then discover nothing can explain our little chatty quirks and give it up and study something so much better i.e. philosophy but i skipped the linguistics part and went straightt into this degree that i think i love but also i didnt really have a choice i need to pay for school next semester but i cant figure out how to believe that i can get money somehow i dont think ill ever be famous but maybe people can know me a little bit i have to be on the radio hosting a show soon but i cant force myself to want to actually forcing myself to do anything nowadays is so fucking hard but ive never had a mental illness and i think im too dutch to linger on myself too much i have this thing that i say all the time to my friends and i repeat it to myself it the mirror "you think too much about yourself" and i havent cried in six to eight months properly but i think i might pick it up as a hobby maybe i just need a hobby ive been reading a french translation of a milan kundaris book (rip king) and the woman roughly says "why do men never give what i give in return" and she says this to her partner and he wonders why she thinks this because its really fuckin stupid to him and he says "you know what i think about? war." and i thought that was really funny and i laughed out loud on the metro and the days are getting colder and the burning of limbs doesnt happen quite as bad and the burn is just skin or whatever and i type with these long red nails i stole from the drug store and im relearning how to speak and talk and interact with people even though i think im a linguistic terestrial bipedal animal and i saw a cool show on monday and only got five hours of sleep and i play euchre and sometimes i win and i just cant believe that she tried to kill herself but at least she came and woke me up if she died without letting me know i wouldve been really upset and i really dont tend towards emotion if you couldve heard the 911 call i made you would think that im a robot and my friend said i sounded like one in the hospital room last night i think that i need a little handycam and to get better and out of this rut im always in a rut it seems

also i just remebered that wherever you go you bring yourself with you and this is significant because i never feel at home anywhere i am i always feel alien im always an alien i need to become a professor at small liberal arts universities in rural canada and move every two years because i dont know how someone could stay where they are for longer than that i love this life that i have but i need to restart pretty regularly but im stuck here for at least two years then i move and go to winnipeg or saskatoon or calgary or up north maybe i go to yukon or iqualuit and i do a masters then i go to europe for a doctorate and come back parading around because i finally made my grandma happy and i send postcards and i tell my friends ill see them later because later is indefinite and saying see you in five years sounds gross and sad but later is always sometime sooner it feels and i want to be a ghost i need to be a ghost i want to wander into peoples lives and leave them but sometimes drop back in just to say hello over coffee and hour before i need to be at the airport my isolation feels key to my mission on earth and although i dont talk to God all the time i think i feel him residing in my soul and i know that my soul infuses everything i touch and if i ever get married it needs to be a tall protestant dutch man whos nice to me and likes to be around me and i dont know if ill ever find a man like that but desires not a crime my life is spinning out i need to smoke a dart but i dont want to spend money on cigs i have a matchbook i stole from a bar and i think we should bring back lighting belmonts with matches its so rare we get to hold fire in our hands the smoke pit is a gift if your a bullshitter like me i heard that run clubs are the new dating apps but i think that running with people usually sucks and having anyone i could potentially be interested in see me like that would give them the ick and i think its good to be alone, at least until summer when i can go sit on a patio and drink a light beer my friend showed me coffee tonics and i think i could die happy if i had one in my hand all the time and i have a pink moka pot and life always works out for me because every day on this earth is another day that i get to drink my coffee and eat tuna and see little dogs and sit in the library and sunbathe in the park and listen to amy winehouse and exist in a moment

[violettelueur]

— FUSHIGURO MEGUMI || THANK YOU FOR STAYING

↳ featuring : fushiguro megumi from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood, mention of injury, mention of death and grammar issues

↳ form : imagine

↳ published : 18 january

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 1.6k

↳ request : AAAA YOUR FINALLY OPENN <3 um so for starters i was thinking abt the same scenario for the s/o, where the s/o was megumi’s gf. team tokyo was seeing your *dead* body lying on the ground, not knowing that your actually trying to use the reverse technique slowly. megumi felt he failed at protecting you, when you’re actually still alive but reviving. eventually he came to you, crying, and just kept saying “please dont leave me” “i cant afford to loose anything” “please”. IM SORRY IF ITS TOO SPECIFIC 😭😭 i really want some fluff+angst rn LMAOO. thankyou!! <33

↳ barista’s notes : hello hello hello ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ i had to remove a tiny bit of your request because it is a spoiler for non jujutsu kaisen manga readers ʕᴥ·　ʔ and don’t worry if you think you’re being too specific, i will try my best to make the perfect cup of  coffee for you ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ but other than that, i hope you enjoy you cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and you’re welcome back anytime!

“Y/N, wake up please”

However, no matter how desperate he sounded nor how loud he was. You were non-responsive.

The grass below your body was struggling to soak up all the blood that had been spilt from your unknown wound caused by the special grade curse that you were fighting against.

No one knew how the curse was able to get into the premises of the battlefield of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, let alone how it managed to get anywhere near Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College. However, right now, all Fushiguro knew was that you were in critical condition as you continued to stay silent to his pleas.

“This ain’t some joke Y/N, wake up!” Fushiguro shouted in agony as he lifted your body into his arms, searching for any source of warmth from you that he was desperate to hold. Yet, you were just stone cold.

Frantic, Fushiguro began to search around your body to see if he could find the injury that was the final blow that you took, but there was no visible presence of one leading to the shikigami sorcerer’s anxiety to heighten as he began to wonder what really happened to you. What could have the special curse did that causes you to fall into a coma? A coma right? You were just in a coma? You weren’t dead? You couldn’t be dead?

“Megumi, she’s….Y/N is..” Maki began to stutter, afraid of the junior’s reaction to what she would have to announce as she began to reach out to him, leading Fushiguro to turn to look at her with tears welled up in his eyes which led Maki to look at him with widened eyes.

Never once she ever saw the green-eyed sorcerer have a single tear in his eyes as well as the rest of the sorcerers behind her as they stared at the situation that was happening right in front of them. On the other hand, they weren’t really surprised at the fact that you were the one that brought those same tears into his precious eyes. 

You were the first person to ever make them see Fushiguro smile.

Itadori remembered it as clear as day. It was when he had first met you at Harajuku around the same time when he first met Kugisaki. To his surprise that day, you weren’t the new student that they were meeting but rather a current student at the school he newly attended, it was just that you weren’t the one chosen to collect Sukuna’s finger at Sendai that day due to you having a mission of your own.

                                              ꕥ

“So, you’re the infamous student that ate Sukuna’s finger?” you commented, as you walked towards the two students who were waiting in front of the station Gojo has told you to meet everyone at - but to no shock or surprise from you, the said teacher was not there to greet you.

“Oh? Are you the new student we are waiting for?” Itaodori kindly asked, as he took another bite out of his ice popsicle leading to your boyfriend, who was standing next to the salmon-haired boy, to have a say in the newly started conversation.

“No, this is L/N Y/N, she’s a first-year student like us, she enrolled at the same time as me,” Fushiguro informed the boy leading you to kindly smile at him while holding up a peace sign to seem more friendly.

“I’m Itadori Yuji, I’m from Sendai,” Itadori greeted you as he pointed at himself, causing you to nod your head before asking both the boys where your extremely tall teacher was, only for them to shrug at you indicating they had no idea on where Gojo was at all.

‘He probably is buying snacks or something ha?’

“Now it ain’t just the two of us ha Megumi?” you playfully asked your boyfriend as you poked his cheek, leading him to send you a side glance only for a giggle to be your response. Although it was a small interaction, Itadori was able to instantly pick up on something that confused him slightly.

“L/N, why did you call Fushiguro by his first name and not his family one?” Itadori asked in curiosity as he wondered how you were really friendly with the usually grumpy sorcerer. Turning to look at your new classmate, you smiled at him and quickly answered by saying, “no reason really, he just allowed me to since we’re really good friends,”.

Knowing Fushiguro, you knew he probably didn’t want to reveal the fact that you and him were in a relationship to Itadori too early into his newfound friendship with him, so you decided that it was the best for now to tell your new classmate that you two were really good friends.

On the other hand, what you didn’t see was how Fushiguro was looking at you. The shikigami user really appreciated the fact that you weren’t the type to tell the whole world about the both of you since he was a person that thought that not everyone needed to know if he was in a relationship or not leading to a small smile to dawn his face with a hint of adoration in his eyes as he stared at you.

Which was caught by the sights of Itadori Yuji.

                                             ꕥ

However in his sights right now was not the same expression Fushiguro had that day. But how he wished it was. All Itadori could see right now was fear, desperation and regret in Fushiguro’s emerald eyes as he was holding onto your body like he was gripping the small amount of life that you could possibly have left in your body.

“Please don’t leave me,” Fushiguro muttered in a brittle tone, as he gently shook you, not giving up on the fact that you could have a chance of waking up. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your beautiful eyes. Not giving up the chance that he gets to see your bright smile. Not giving up on the chance that he gets to see you alive.

“I’m sorry for not protecting you, please just wake up, I can’t lose you too,” Fushiguro begged as sorrowful tears began to lightly hit your cheeks with his throat slowly closing up leading to a slight struggle in breathing. Fushiguro slowly and regrettably came to the realisation that you were now gone, leading to a river of guilt that uncontrollably began to flow down to which caused the grade two sorcerer let out a pained scream as his friends from behind looked at the scene with a broken heart.

Gripping on to your body, Fushiguro held your body against his chest and his face was hidden in the crook of your head wanting to hold you for one last time before you were fully taken away from him.

“Hey….Mimi”

Now he was hallucinating. Fushiguro was now hearing your voice as if you were calling out to him. He couldn’t help but fully accept that fact that you were dead and there was no chance you could possibly be calling out his nickname that he hated so much but was so desperate to hear again if he could.

Suddenly to his shock, Fushiguro felt a light but tight grip on his school jacket leading him to slowly pull away with widening eyes to a hand on his jacket causing him to look up to notice your eyes slowly begin to open, showcasing the coloured orbs that the shikigami user was so desperate to see.

“Mimi….it’s really hard to….concentrate using reverse curse energy….when you’re tightly gripping on to me,” you slowly commented with a small smile on your face, to which then you slowly began to sit up only to fall back into his arms due to exhaustion of using a magnitude of your curse energy to heal the injury that the special curse managed to wound you with.

“Y/N!” everyone shouted, as they crouched down to have a clear view of what they were seeing. To their complete astonishment, you were fully awake with a smile on your face leading everyone’s hearts to fill with joy as they were relieved that you were here right in front of them alive and well.

Kugisaki couldn’t help but instantly let tears of complete joy flow down her cheeks as she launched herself on top of you, tightly hugging you close to her releasing all the agonising tension that she was holding in the second she saw your once lifeless body in Fushiguro’s arms.

Gently lifting up one of your arms to Kugisaki’s body to comfort her, you slowly turned your head to stare up at the pair of emerald eyes that were looking at you with such relief and radiance, leading to your other hand that was previously gripping his jacket to then be placed on his cheek as you used your thumb to caress it to help him slowly come back to reality.

To be honest, you could tell he needed it right now. At the beginning of the Kyoto Sister-School Goodwill Event, you, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were utterly dumbfounded at the fact that Itadori was alive and well after 2 months of assuming that he was dead after Sukuna ripped out his heart and now you somehow you ‘came back alive’ after sustaining a serious injury of your neck being slashed - you knew seeing two people being revived was not what you saw every day.

“I’m sorry for scaring you like that,” you whispered to Fushiguro as you lightly brushed the remaining tears he had on his cheek leading to the stoic sorcerer to softly place his forehead against yours as he began to savour the warmth that he thought he had lost.

“Thank you,’ Fushiguro muttered as he closed his eye tightly, holding in the new coming tears that were threatening to flow down leading to your hand that was on his cheek to be now placed on the back of his neck as your fingers began to caress his hair to help calm him down even further.

“Thank you for staying”

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[bakugohoex]

PLS IM BEGGING YOU continuation of Jean x reader undercover in Marley ?🥺💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

part two: “this isn’t a date jean, we’re undercover”

pairing: jean kirschtein x female reader

cw: season 4 spoiler for the latest episode, fluff, language, nsfw (basically sex, some nipple play and just a lot of love)

word count: 2900+

a/n: so yeah, heres a part two for the one request i got nearly a month ago, i cant believe you guys liked part one so much, hopefully you all like this part as well

summary: in which you and jean spend the night together after confessing your feeling’s for one another, with a long night ahead and the raid on liberio beginning, is it really possible for the two of you to be together in this hell hole 

part one  | part three 

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist 

His lips re-attached to your neck, sucking and biting along the thin strip that he had previously licked. Eyes filled with lust, his body encasing your own, you bit back a moan but at the feeling of his lips and tongue swirling across the bruises made you whimper his name. He looked back down at you, your fragile messy state, your dress half off of you, clinging to your thighs, he couldn’t wait to rip it all off. Make you his, he watched you try to cover your face with your arms, but straddling your lap allowed him to grab your arms.

“You’re not hiding from me baby.” He whispered softly against your skin, the way his breath sent a shiver down your spine. He had grabbed your arms putting both in one of his roughened hands, you remembered the days you’d spend outside holding hands whilst walking around Marley for intel. How these same hands were holding your wrists to keep you in place.

He smirked looking down at your fresh sweaty face, “we don’t have to do anything.”

“No, I want too, we know what’s happening soon and I want to…I want to be with you.” You spoke softly and it was heaven to his ears. He looked at your face, the face he had seen for the past 6 years. The face he’d grown to love, grown to have wanted and now here he was after all these years, standing in front of the love of his life. Stradling her and he knew his 15-year-old self who had seen her fighting real titans would be jealous of this scenario occurring.

He captures your lips again; he brings you up to meet his own body. Your arms around his neck as you bring your body closer to his bare chest, you felt his back muscles tense under your fingertips that brushed along his nape. He was always so beautiful, so pretty, gorgeous even and he was yours, he was going to be yours. “I want to fuck you so bad, baby, I want to make you mine.” He whispered through the kiss.

You didn’t speak, instead stopping the kiss, he watched your movements, how you slid the dress away from your legs and tossed it to the wooden floor. You were bare for him, but it wasn’t like before, it wasn’t like this morning and how you had easily changed in front of him. This time there were underlining implications, this time the sound of the bra being unhooked occurred and the sliding of your underwear away from your frame.

This time he was ready for you, he was going to make you his. You were bare to him, lying sprawled on the bed with a seductive enticing look. He knew that you’d do anything for him, that he’d do anything for you even but in this moment, he wanted to fuck you dry. The pace of everything from seeing you vulnerable to now seeing you become his had been quick and he couldn’t wait any longer. He had waited 6 years for this, you had waited 6 years for this.

The sound of the belt being undone was the only sound and the shuffling of his trousers being taken off. You could see the bulge in an instant, your eyes flickering between him and the indent. Well Eren might’ve been right about the horse part but it defiantly wasn’t his face. You took a deep breathe, you had imagined of course, the little looks you’d given to see it, but it had always been a failed mission. But now here he was ready to give you something ever so perfect.

“I want it in me, Sir.” The sound of you calling him sir sent him into overdrive, your body was laid out just for him. For him to cum in and make you feel every part of his cock.

He watched how you were almost begging for it and he wanted you to plead to him, “beg for me.”

“Plea…please fill me up Jean, I want to feel you spilt me in half, please Sir.” The pleading nature and how your mouth was almost watering at the sight made the boy grin. It was feeding his ego well and he loved how easily you’d do anything for him.

“This might hurt.” He whispers softly, he moved to trap you in his body again, but this time he had pulled you forward, making him feel just how wet you really were across his cock. Your legs rested on his shoulders as he went down to kiss you, one finger softly skimming your clit up and down, feeling the slick across his fingers.

“Sir, please.” You whimpered slightly, the pain of feeling your legs on his shoulders but it became relieved as he bent down kissing you softly. But all you could really feel were his fingers rubbing through the slick.

He moved his fingers back out, making you come closer to his body, he could feel your much smaller legs across his shoulders make no impact having carried a lot heavier. But looking down at your face, your messy hair he just wanted to make you feel pleasure. “Suck.” He shoves his fingers down your throat and you moan at the taste of yourself, just as you began sucking on his fingers, feeling the sweat still from his fingers mixed with the saltiness of your wetness, a much larger moan came from your mouth.

His cock having slammed right into your walls, he felt suffocated himself between your tight walls but the pleasure of having your warm cunt around him made him love it. “You’re so tight baby, keep moaning for me.” He loved the sight of you moaning his name, moaning anything really, his fingers rubbed against your lips, encasing your wetness onto your pretty little mouth.

“Jean, fas…faster.” You whimpered, as he went back out and slammed back in going deeper and picking a pace. His veiny cock had felt like sheer heaven, the way how one of his hands grabbed your breast, playing with your right nipple with his index finger and how his other hand had grabbed the headboard.

His pace becoming even quicker as you felt all your worried disappear, all the fighting against titans and Marleyans were gone and all you had was Jean, your Jean inside of you. “Y/n…fuck, baby, you fe…feel so good.” He was breathless at each time he thrusted back and forth, you felt your leg fall off his shoulder, feeling him bring your body even closer.

“Jean, please, oh go…god!” You were a moaning mess and the feeling of Jean’s hand moving from your tit to your hand felt even better. It was a sign of love, a sign of a future, not just the war that was about to begin but the future you two would have together.

The headboard and bed shook under the thrusts, Jean’s fingers laced in yours as his mouth went to your hard nipples. He left a swirl of saliva around both before sucking on the left making you move your other hand in his hair. You could feel the knot in your stomach occur, the way your cum had built up inside and how it was ready to realise right on top of his cock.

He could feel your heavy breath through the room, his sucking stopping as he looked up looking at your dishevelled face. Your chest heavy from the quickened thrusts he had been doing, you looked down to meet his eyes and, in an instant, he let go of your hand and headboard and brought his hands to your face. Before bringing his lips back onto your own, it was soft, passionate even and it was a sign of your future and love.

His thrusts more stroppier as the kiss went on, your hands reaching his back, feeling his skin between your nails. He could feel the scratches and even then, he didn’t care because he was about to cum in you and make you his. “I…cum.” You could barely speak through the kiss, but he understood, and he gave a soft whisper through the kiss.

“Cum for me baby, be a good girl and cum on my cock show me your mine.” It was a praise you had been waiting for and in an instant your insides melted away as you could feel yourself gush across his lengthy cock. Mixed in was the feeling of Jean’s own cum which had filled you right up, he remained inside of you as you were both breathless, cum coming from your insides as it leaked onto the bed.

He finally looked up at you, his eyes soft and mouth wet after your sloppy kisses. He felt like he had won, that he had gotten what he came for in Marley even though you had been with him all along. He had achieved what he wanted from life, you.

He had slid himself out of you, standing up with his whole body on show. The darkness had erupted to fill the sky, the sound of Marleyans walking around was still evident but all he could think about was you. Finding some discarded clothes he wore them but still remained shirtless before picking you up in his arms, your bare body sprawled out for him and only him. Before helping you to the bathroom to let you do what you needed to do. He was soft with you, helping you down and bringing you clothes before leaving you.

He thought out about the earlier events of the day, “sometime soon is our time to act.” Your words remained in his mind, it was happening, he and the whole survey corps knew it. If he lost you…he couldn’t bear to even think about it, he felt the soft arms around his waist.

Your head against his scratched back, he grabbed your hands across his waist. Small circles from his fingers, he turned to face you. The dark moonlight coming from outside as he watched your small frame in his clothes. How you looked perfect in anything and how your soft smile would be the death of him. “I love you.” He confessed through a whisper.

“I love you too.” You spoke going on your toes to hug him softly, he grabbed you helping you to reach his shoulders as you were able to see the outside. The true horrors of what was behind the walls and how this might be your last moments of happiness.

The days were long afterwards, hard even, everything had began to set in and you both began to spend less time in the place on top of the shop, and more time in the abandoned building. Having contacted Eren, the day was today, and the plan was in full suit.

Jean and you had been quiet about this new love for one another but here you both were. Hand in hand walking through the festival, you looked around noticing some men in military uniform. One in particular you could never forgot, the one of the beast titan. Children swarmed them and the group definitely had no idea who you both were which was a positive.

Jeans grip was tight as he spoke to you, “we could always just settle down afterwards.”

“I’d like that.” You leaned into his body; it wasn’t like before when the fake relationship where you both were getting used to it. You both looked like a couple, you went behind the group, reaching to pay for some candy apples.

“Here, let me.” A man with a pushed back undercut grabbing the candied apple for you.

“Thank you.” You smiled as you went to pay for it, Jean having let go to wait and watch the interaction.

The man stops you bringing out his own money, “I’ve got you.”

“I could…”

He interrupts you; you noticed the armband indicating he was a subject of Ymir, a Warrior who had inherited a titan, “don’t worry about it.”

You smiled at him, taking the candied apple. “Ooo does little Porco have a crush.” The youngest girl mocked Porco and you couldn’t help but smirk before leaving the scene. You knew in a matter of minutes Reiner would come back, the boy you had spent three years with would arrive and you and Jean would be in the shit.

“I don’t like how he’s looking at you.” Jean muttered watching you bite in the apple, the candy sticking to the side of your face.

“This isn’t a date Jean, we’re undercover.” You repeated the words you had said on the day that your relationship had bloomed and you both could still overhear the group with the add on of Reiner.

“I’ll take you on a proper date later then.” He spoke confidently, always having wanted to take you on a date back on Paradis Island.

“What before we raid Liberio or after?” You tease the boy.

He grabs your hand tighter making you look at him, “I should fuck that attitude out of you.”

“Mm I’d like to see you try.” You chuckle as you paid no attention to Jean who seemed to crave all of you at the moment. Not a good time when the raid was occurring in less than three hours.

“Porco has a crush.” The girl repeated to Reiner, both you and Jean listening from a lot further behind. Could they speak of something more interesting than Porco’s interest in you. Jeans grip had tightened but he knew that it was all for the mission at hand.

“I do not, I was being nice.” Porco remarked back.

The group of kids turned to the boy before laughing as if he was joking, “who pays for some strangers food.” A boy with glasses said, you recognised the boy next to him, the blonde hair being something Eren had said in the letters, the boy who was posting the letters in the first place. Falco, the boy who would wield the armoured titan after Reiner.

“She may have been a bit attractive but that was all.” Porco had moved the conversation on, and you both listened in.

“Don’t pout, he isn’t my type.” You mutter to Jean who you could almost feel the anger rush through him.

“I don’t pout.” He muttered holding your waist and leaning against you to listen.

“They aren’t speaking about tonight’s events so they must not know themselves what that Tybur guy is saying tonight.” You both began walking away, having received no information but more contact with them instead. You continued eating the candied apple right through to the base.

“Stop for a food break Y/n.” Levi rolled his eyes, already in the new survey corps gear.

Rolling your eyes, you had bought another candied apple on the way back and took it from your other hand. “Here, try it.” You pushed it the captain, who look horrified but took it anyway, not thank you, but you didn’t care.

“Y/n…” Sasha whined waiting to see if she got any food.

“Yeah, yeah don’t worry, Jean has more food.” Sasha in an instant ran towards Jean as if he was her God. He looked however frightened as fuck at the hungry girl ready to eat his arm off. Whilst the two of them were fighting you were met with the change of clothes.

The black with your ODM gear and spears, it was a lot, villainous even. Something that was long awaited and a change from the dresses you’d been wearing. You felt the material in the small side room and saw the blades you hadn’t wielded since you left the island.

The cold grip felt like a long memory away, the fighting against titans, the snap of their necks bringing them down. It was a distant memory and now you were fighting humans again, real humans.

Dusk began to set as you sat around, Yelena having already left to trap Porco and Pieck away. You stood around, the new clothes around you and the plan ready to occur. The cloak that covered your body felt refreshing, it reminded you of home, your family back in Paradis. It might've been hell but with without it all you wouldn't be here with Jean. You looked at Jean, he was talking to Connie about something but as soon as his eyes laid on you, it warmed. Whatever Connie was saying had been ignored as he watched you, both of you knowing this could end badly.

“Let’s go.” Hanje had arrived at the door and the sound of her dismissing everybody to the respective areas had occurred. You and Jean were lucky enough to have stuck together with his own band of people to control.

Jean and you stayed low on the building, watching the Marleyan soldiers watch Tybur, Jean looked at your delicate features, how you looked exactly the same as you did the day you two met. He softly touched your cheek, “whatever happens, promise me we’ll see each other again after this.”

“I promise.” You nuzzled your cheek into his rough fingers.

You both stood up Lord Tybur’s speech was ending, the confession of the truth behind King Fritz and why Titans had remained on Paradis island for these years.

“…that our war with the forces of Paradis Island begins now!” His last words the sound of Eren’s attack titan spewed out from the building, a shock running through everybody’s faces, rubble falling everywhere at the now discarded building. Eren’s roars boomed through the now ruined stadium and you and Jean were finally met with the boy.  

go back to part one | proceed to part three here 

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[creepytoes88]

Vinnie smut

Do not read if uncomfortable with 👇🏻

Daddy kink/hitting(ass,face,thighs)/unprotected sex /and mean names 🥰 PLEASE TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS 👏AND SEND ME THINGS YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ ONLY ABOUT VINNIE FOR RIGHT NOW THO 🥸 anyways let’s get too it lol sorry for any typos

I could feel Vinnie’s hot breath on the back of my neck as my back was pushed against his hard chest. Vinnie’s right hand wrapped tightly around the inside of my thigh sandwiched between both of my legs. I can feel his hip bones pushing into my backside, making it so hard to breath normally. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, my mind starts to wonder to those forbidden places.

I let out a sigh the ungodly things I would let him do to me taking over my mind “GOD I need help.” I took a deep breath before I looked at the clock on Vinnie’s night stand “I can’t wake him up he has photo shoot in a couple hours” I think to myself. I close my eyes trying to fall asleep but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way his warm hands and cold rings felt against my skin and how his soft plump lips would feel trailing down my stomach. I shot my eyes open before letting out a sigh and cuddling deeper into Vinnie I turned around so my head was buried in his chest.

“I could just breathe his sweet scent all day..” I think to myself before I even realize what I was doing I rested my icy cold hand on his warm jaw rubbing his cheek. Vinnie let out gasp, eyes shooting open “Are you ok, princess?” he whisper shouts not being able to see me in the pitch black room “y-yea I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up baby“ I said as I thread my fingers through his hair “No you’re not, what’s wrong sweetie please tell me.” Vinnie asks worried as he wraps his warm arms around my waist I could feel his cock against my thigh and his sweet voice caught me off guard I couldn’t help it and let out a soft moan softly tugging on his hair.

Almost immediately I felt him start to get stiff against my legs I let out a slightly louder moan at the idea of Vinnie actually fucking me right now he instantly shoved 2 of his long fingers in my mouth making me choke a little in shock. My eyes widen as I look up at him “I should have known that you were just hungry for my dick” he says as he kisses down my neck “I’m right aren’t I slut” he grunts in my face. He flips me so my back is against his chest again and pushes his massive clothed cock against my thong “covered” ass. I let out a whine letting him know I’m ready now no foreplay needed, I suck his fingers that are in my mouth he would occasionally push his fingers deeper hitting the back of my throat making me choke every now and then.

“Answer me slut“ he grunts as he takes the fingers out of my mouth to lightly smack my left cheek. I moan at the stinging sensation “Y-YES DADDY!!” "I’m s-s-sorry” I let out in gasps and stutters. Vinnie just chuckles sending shivers straight down my spine I could feel the goose bumps rising on my skin and the blush creeping on my cheeks. I’m so thankful he can’t see me in his dark ass room “tell daddy want you want Princess” he says as he caresses my bottom lip with his thumb, nibbling on my earlobe “your b-big cock daddy.” I whine out “ ah-ah-ah what are the magic words princess” Vinnie says as he sits up so he can have better access to my body.

I could practically visualize the smirk on his face just by the sound of his voice, no lights needed. I blushed again, is it worth it? I think to myself is it worth the short lived embarrassment that is just going to inflate his ego more “I’m waiting princess I still wanna get some sleep before the shoot tomorrow” Vinnie says as he starts fiddling with the hem of the tank top I’m wearing and his other hand rubs the inside of my thigh as he sits on his knees, I could feel his eyes scanning my body. Fuck I can’t do this I’m going to explode and he barely even touched me yet GOD of course its fucking worth it what am I thinking. “Pretty Please daddy will you fuck me with your big cock!!” I let out in a shout as Vinnie smacks the inside of my thigh a couple times making me let out a Loud groan, I could feel my wetness tripping down on the bed sheets even with my panties on “mmm whatever you want princess.”

Vinnie says in a sexy, raspy voice and he pulls my top over my head and rips my panties right off my body “ VINNIE THOSE WERE MY FAVORITE PAIR!!?!” I shouted still very turned on but slightly pissed “I’ll buy you a hundred pairs of underwear if you shut the fuck up and let me make you feel good.” Vinnie states with confidence “try not to wake the entire neighborhood ok” he says as he pushes his head into my neck Vinnie’s hands hold my hands and hips to the bed making it very difficult for me to move and grind against his bulge. Vinnie trails his lips slowly down nipping and sucking on random spots slowly driving me crazy I began to let out soft moans, I feel Vinnie’s lips trailing between my breast with out warning he grabs ahold of my right nipple with his teeth bitting it softly. Enough to feel good but hard enough to make me let out a loud unexpected moan Vinnie licks and sucks on my bud for awhile before repeating on my left nipple.

I was so focused on the feeling of his mouth on my nipples I didn’t even realize he moved my hands so they were above my head before I could react Vinnie pushes his middle and ring finger knuckle deep into my heat spreading his fingers as much as he could. As he thrusts them into me repeatedly at a fast pace, His thumb rubbing my clit in tiny circles as I let out moans and whimpers “are you daddy’s little slut?!” He says against my upper stomach I could feel the vibrations in my tummy “YES DADDY IM YOUR SLUT” “such a good girl for me princess, I think you deserve a treat.” Vinnie let’s go of my hands and moves so he’s head is between my legs he grabs my legs and throws them over his shoulders he immediately wraps his hands around my thighs so I can’t move.

“AH please baby I need it so bad” I say in a whiny voice Vinnie dives his head down sucking on my clit with no mercy his tongue plunging in and out of my dripping pussy I couldn’t help but scream his name it felt so good. “VINNIE! YESSS DADDY MORE PLEASE!!” I was no stranger to having sex with Vinnie but I swear everytime we have sex it’s like the first time but it only gets better and better I could feel the knot beginning to form. I run my fingers in Vinnie’s hair pulling at the roots and pushing him deeper into me I open my eyes to get a good look at him to see his beautiful hazel eyes staring right back at me. Full of lust and adornment I throw my head back in a pure fit of pleasure begging for Vinnie to just fuck me already. Before I can do or say anything I release on Vinnie’s Gorgeous face I let out I few more moans and I feel Vinnie pull away he smashes his lips into mine and I can taste my self on his lips I groan in response grabbing his strong shoulders digging my nails in to the flawless skin of his back Vinnie looks down at me “oh I’m not done yet sweetie” Vinnie slaps the inside of my thighs and the sides of my ass a couple time as I cry out in pleasure at the sweet stinging sensation that comes with it.

Vinnie pulls down his boxers revealing his massive cock Vinnie is a beautiful man there is no denying that and his cock is no different my mouth starts watering at the thought of sucking his on perfect balls( ball sucking simulator🤌😎 either you get it or you don’t lol) and him ramming his thick cock down my throat till he finally spills over. I go to grab his bulge and he slaps my hand away “not a chance I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’re not gonna be able to fucking walk straight for a month!” I moan at the thought of what he just said Vinnie pulls his boxers down and he wraps one of his large hands around my neck and the other on my boob. Vinnie rubs his tip against my clit making me whine and moan “beg for it bitch” vinnie says in a airy tone “pllllease daddy fuck me I need it now” I gasp “What was that princess I don’t think I heard you correctly ?”

“ p-p-PLEASE DADDY I NEED IT!!” I heard Vinnie chuckle before rubbing his cock between my folds “need what princess?” Vinnie ask again playing dumb “YOUR BIG COCK DADDY PLEASE I CANT-!” Vinnie pushes into me before I can finish my sentence, he pushes faster then normal making me let out a whine, he’s so big! I always have to adjust to his size I moan as he hits balls deep making me arch my back pushing my chest to his. Vinnie let’s out a soft moan as my walls tighten around his cock “ M-move Daddy!” I moan loudly my hands rushing to his unruly curly hair I tug on the roots and wrap my legs around his waist and Vinnie let’s out quite literally the hottest sound he’s ever made. “F-FUCK baby you’re soo tight!” Vinnie pants and moans as he shifts around to get him self more comfortable before almost pulling all the way out before slamming right back in to me “OH GOD VINNIE, MORE PLEASE , YOU FILL ME UP SO GOOD DADDY!!”

I shout I wanted to hear him make more of those delicious sounds the thought of Vinnie’s moans and pants making me tighten around his cock once again making him release a loud moan. I throw my head back in pure ecstasy feeling him pound in over and over again hitting spots I didn’t even know existed until I met Vinnie. I let out strings of nonsense the pleasure taking over my mind and body my eyes closed and all I could think about was how good Vinnie felt grazing my g spot every-time he pushed in and the sound of skin slapping skins, his pants and moans driving me absolutely crazy even the feeling of his balls bouncing off my ass cheeks every time he thrusted in ( I’m fucking dead lol 😭) making my mind melt. I could feel the knot in my stomach beginning to come together again and as if Vinnie knew he flips me over so my face is in the pillows and my ass is in the air. Vinnie slaps my left ass cheek I let out a whimper before pushing back on him and letting out a moan Vinnie groans and rubs my ass cheeks “count them whore” he slaps my right cheek this time “two!” Another one on my left “Three!” Vinnie then smacks both of them at the same time a couple times in a row.

I let out loud moans I know I’ll have hand prints tomorrow but it’s so worth it “you like that huh baby” he laughs and kisses my shoulder blades rubbing my ass I moan and I start to feel the knot break before I could even say anything Vinnie cut in “Don’t you fucking dare cum yet Bitch!” “PLEASE VINNIE I CAN’T HO-O-LD IT MUCH L-LONGER!” “I said fucking hold it slut!” He grunts as he grabs ahold of my hair pulls back on it so my head is facing up and smacks my face once or twice “ OH FUCK YES DADDY HIT ME AGAIN PLEASE!” “You like it when daddy hits you princess?” He asks as more of a statement then a question knowing damn well I love it “PLEASE AGAIN DADDY” Vinnie smacks me on my thigh this time significantly harder then he did on my face. I moan as my back arch’s into him as I start thrusting back towards Vinnie he starts rubbing my clit in circles again “you want me to put my babies in you beautiful” OH YES DADDY PLEASE CUM IN ME!” I let out more moans and gasps as he thrusts so hard and deep into me I can’t hold it anymore.

I let out the loudest moan I have ever made “DADDY YESSSS” it felt like a balloon popped in my stomach I was shaking from the pleasure still coursing through my veins. My nerves shot as I was basically falling asleep at this point I feel Vinnie’s hips snapping against my ass a couple more times before I feel him release inside of me I hear Vinnie let out a deep moan and a grunt “IM SORRY DADDY I COULDN’T HOLD IT ANYMORE!!” Vinnie flips me over while still inside of me. My eyes still clamped shut from pleasure and sleepyness, also partly because I don’t want to see the disappointment on his face. Oh how wrong I was “Look at me princess” Vinnie says softly pushing my hair out of my face. I open my eyes at the sound of his voice to see his beautiful face with a proud smirk displayed perfectly on his face.

Vinnies eyes then leave mine to look down where the two of us meet. I slowly trail my eyes down the same path as my lover to see just how big of a mess I made “Princess you never told me you are a squirter?!” “That’s because I never knew I could. None of my past boyfriends made me do THAT before!” I said with a giggle “well how did it feel” Vinnie asks as he pulls out watching as both mine and his cum runs out licking his lips before leaning down to clean up the mess he made “ S-So good daddy...so good” I said as I push my hips against his face and throw my head back so much for getting some more sleep I guess.

[etherealluminescence]

helloo! can i request the brother with a virgin mc who’s really nervous when they get intimate because she’s scared she cant pleasure them? you can make it nsfw if you want. btw i really like your writing! i hope you have a good day 😊

Hello anon! Thanks for asking, I’ll be making this one nsfw! It’s pretty long since I included smut scenarios at the bottom of each, and as an opening to each hc! Just skip the italics if you don’t like nsfw or feel free to skip this whole thing if it’s not your style, random tumblr user ✨ And thank you I hope you have a good day too anon 🥺🥺

I’m such a kinky person who had to include tail fucking by levi even if no one agrees that is his kink and no one can tell me otherwise.

Brothers react to a f!virgin!MC (NSFW)

Lucifer

Quiet moans filled the air as Lucifer began undressing you. Taking off your blouse, he cupped your left breast through the cloth of your bra, eliciting a yelp from your slightly swollen lips. Slowly, he etched his hand down to your core, rubbing it.

Before he could continue, however, you let out little sobs. You thought you were ready for this, but could you really do it? You were a virgin and judging from his height he’s probably as giant down there as his ego is.

Would you even be enough for him? There’s no way, right? What if he wants you to do something? Are you just going to ruin the mood?

Confused, Lucifer immediately stops his actions and tries to console you. Did he do something wrong? Was he pressuring you into this? Did you not actually want him?

Covering your face with your hands, you tell him that you’re actually a virgin, and don’t know what you should be doing. Would he even be satisfied with you?”

“MC, darling, show me your face.” This was not a command, it was a request. He wanted you to look him in the eyes when he talks to you.

Bringing your arms down, you look up at him and start to cry a bit more. Was he going to berate you?

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, okay? I assure you, I want to do this with you, you are more than enough to satisfy me. And all you need to do is let me hear that beautiful voice of yours.”

Now a crying and blushing mess, you bring your head up to give him a quick peck on the lips, a sign telling him you want to continue.

Deepening the kiss, Lucifer easily starts the mood back up again. Kissing, biting, and sucking all over your neck down between your breasts. Dark purple hickies covered your body by the time he was finished. Somewhere along the lines of him biting and sucking, he had managed to discard your undergarments.

His finger slowly entered you as you stifle in a moan. As he fingered you, he gradually let you get used to it before adding a second, then third, and even a fourth. The sensation was so foreign to you, but oh so very welcomed. Clenching around his fingers, you let out a small cry that it feels weird, as your sticky fluids coat his fingers and trickle down your thighs.

Smiling down at you, he removes his fingers and licks them clean before kissing you and letting you taste a bit of yourself. “You’re doing perfect, what was there ever to worry about, love?”

Mammon

“Of course the human wants to do it with me, who wouldn’t?” Mammon semi-yelled in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. Taking both your hands in one of his, he slowly lowered you down on his bed as he gave you a kiss.

Before he could do anymore, you brought your knees up and told him to wait. He was sort of offended and embarrassed, but decided to listen to what you had to say.

“Im-a-virgin-please-be-gentle-with-me-and-don’t-make-fun-of-me-I-don’t-know-what-to-do-or-how-to-pleasure-you.” you very quickly said before burying your face inside of his pillows beside you.

“What was that MC? You gotta say it slower! Slower! Ya know?” Mammon responded. Truthfully, he heard you clearly the first time, but he just wanted to hear you say it again, but slower, and let him soak in the glory of this.

Taking your face out of the pillow, you looked up at Mammon and repeated yourself. “I’m a virgin, Mammon. I don’t know how this works or how to pleasure you, but please, be gentle with me.”

Seeing his sly smile, you wanted to die. He did it on purpose, didn’t he? Before you could hide yourself from reality again, he pulls you into a deep kiss. “I’m gonna tell everyone the Great Mammon was your first in everything!”

“Ma- mpf!” You were cut off by another kiss. Turning you around, Mammon propped your ass into the air and gave it a small spank making you squeal. Today, he’ll let his little human be, and work hard for them.

Ripping off your pants and underwear, he pushed his fingers into your ass and began to slowly push in and out. His other hand worked at stroking himself, telling you to watch so you know how to do it next time, because you will be giving him a blowjob eventually.

Climaxing on his fingers, he pushed them into your mouth and told you to suck. You ate every last bit of it as if it were the tastiest substance. Pulling his fingers in your ass out, and pushed his length in, causing you to cry from the size. “You were that hungry for my cum MC~? Get ready.” That cocky son of a bitch.

Leviathan

Loud moans from the both of you echoed throughout the room. Levi’s hands were roaming your upper half while his tailed worked on getting rid of your lower half’s clothing. But just as he got to taking off your underwear.

You didn’t mean to, but you started to cry. You were shaking. You just couldn’t control it anymore, out of everyone, you figure Levi would be a virgin and not know what to do like you. But you underestimated how many eroge games he plays.

Startled, Levi was trying his best to function. Why were you crying?? Did you not want a yucky otaku like human? Did you not like him? Did you agree to date him for a few months out of pure pity and suddenly want to get rid of him?

Trying your best to calm yourself, for both your’s and Levi’s sakes, you let out a shaky breath and explain to him what you’re feeling. The gears in his head are finally shifting.

“You mean a beautiful and amazing person like you is a v-virgin?” Levi asks, unsure if he’s hearing it right or if you’re making an excuse.

Repeating yourself, this boy was ecstatic. It was the complete opposite of what you thought was going to happen. You mean he gets to be your first?? And otaku that likes to watch idols and plays video games 17 hours a day actually gets to be YOUR first time?

Levi was amazingly happy and even expressed that very loudly. His little tail was wagging. You couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction, soon enough forgetting your own worries.

Levi told you not to worry. Although he’s also a virgin, he’s played plenty of eroge games and seen enough hentai to know what to do!!

Spreading your thighs, Levi inches closer until you could feel his hot breath hovering over your clit. Using his tail, he pushed it into your mouth, causing you to moan in shock. As his tail began fucking your mouth, he began working on eating you out.

With one of his fingers, he reached up and began to pinch one of you buds while keeping up the pace. All of this was extremely stimulating for you, a virgin. Two of your holes were being filled and your breasts were also getting attention. Pressing your thighs against his face, you began to smush him as you got closer to your edge, which only excited him even further.

As he pulled out of your mouth, you climaxed and dug your hands into his back, leaving scratch marks. However, the night was still young and just one climax wasn’t enough. There’s a reason he was fucking your mouth, as he shoved his tail into your ass and pushed his length into you.

Satan

Swallowing, you look up at Satan to try and gauge what on earth you should do. Taking his length into your hands, you slowly began to rub and stroke, as best you knew how.

At that point, it was obvious. You couldn’t fake it. You were shaking, you looked confused, and you clearly did not know how to give a blowjob.

Satan was first to speak up between the awkward silence you two shared. Your boyfriend wasn’t going to judge you, but he wasn’t going to get off this way either.

“Do you, perhaps not you know, know how?” It was definitely awkward. The two of you were inwardly cringing. Sex wasn’t something you two often talked about, or well, ever talked about. You never thought about having sex with anyone in general.

Quickly, you responded with a little “no”.

He isn’t judgemental, he could predict it from the fact you would close your eyes if two people held hands in a movie calling it “lewd” and unforgivable. He thought it was a human joke at first, with Solomon saying that too, but the blush on your face was way too strong for it to be a dedicated joke.

Satan takes liberty to guiding your hands over the sensitive parts, and the general parts, telling you how and where to touch and suck.

While he’s explaining, he’s also boasting his knowledge of dick anatomy.

Placing your hands on his hips, you began to lick the tip of his dick before moving to the underside, making sure to give it all the attention it deserved. You soon took a third of him in, your limit, and used your hands to stroke the remaining parts.

Groaning, he entangled his fingers into your hair and began to accidentally choke you against him. Little tears were forming in your eyes, but if felt damn good to have his thick member filling you up, as you listen to hear his groans that you made.

Climaxing without warning, his hot bitter seed filled your mouth. You nearly gagged it out, but swallowed it whole in order to try your best to pleasure him. Patting your head, Satan tells you that you were amazing, and a very quick learner.

Asmodeous

“How about we have some fun, darling?” Asmodeous whispered into your ear before biting it as he wrapped his around you from behind. His hands began to slowly fondle your breasts, but before he could any further.

You knew this day was coming. Asmodeous was the demon of lust, and he was your boyfriend. A very amazing boyfriend who held back on his lust and stayed loyal to you meaning he’s been sex deprived for months. It was finally time, or you might accidentally kill him.

You were more than willing to help your boyfriend, you really were, but you were also scared. He’s been with probably thousands of people by now- he’s probably a thousand and slept with a hundred thousand! How could you, a virgin, satisfy the master of fucking?

But only because he is the master of fucking, he could tell you were uneasy. He tried to avoid making too many moves on you, other than flirting, because he would just know you were feeling nervous, but he couldn’t understand why. He knows he’s beautiful but you don’t have to be so worried to see him nude?

Asmo began to stroke your back and slowly backed down, he could wait until you were ready. But you however, had made up your mind. You were terrified, you knew you wouldn’t be as good as him or the other succubusses who were literally born to fuck, but you wouldn’t want him to be horny and be unable to do anything about it because he loves you.

Grabbing his hand, you turned around and looked up into his eyes, and swallowed putting on a brave face. “Asmo... I’m a virgin, and I’m not sure if I could pleasure you, but if you would, please take care of me.” You started off strong but slowly began to mutter, blushing wildly.

Asmo was incredibly happy. You mean his darling MC is a virgin;; like his girlfriend was worried about pleasuring him and wants to be fucked by him?? And only him?? Ever?

He literally forgets he was trying to get the sick and begins to squeal. He’s holding your hands and telling you words of encouragement and that you’re the only one for him, and that he will teach you exactly what to do.

Groping your ass, he gave it a rough squeeze as you yelped. Taking advantage of the situation he shoved his tongue into your mouth and easily claimed dominance. Swirling his tongue around, he made sure to taste all of your mouth. You’re his.

“That’s just the basics on how to get a quick kiss~” he teased as he started to nibble on your neck. His left hand was already under your panty, fingering you, while his right was massaging your breast. Your small whimpers and mewls only encouraged him to continue and do more.

He knows he should only do so much while you’re a virgin and probably don’t have a high enough stamina yet, but damn were you sexy as fuck. You on the other hand, were drowning in pleasure as he sucked and bit your buds and was pushing even more fingers deeper inside you, hitting your g-spot.

Beelzebub

Beel’s big figure dominated you as he pinned you down underneath him on his bed. You had always know he was tall and well sculpted, but being this close and intimate with him, you were having second thoughts.

“You’re so pretty, MC.” Beel whispered as he gently kissed you on the lips, as if going any harder would cause you some kind of harm.

Ah, of course he was gentle. He always was. It sort of made you feel bad, and even conflicted for having thoughts of being scared. But hearing him unzip his pants, and looking at his dick brought you back into reality.

There’s was no way it was going to fit. Your two hands could not wrap around that. Your mouth could not fit more than a third of that, even on a good day. How are you going to pleasure him or have sex if you can’t even fit him?

Beel was always watching you, so he could immediately tell you’re uneasy. And he immediately began to tell you not to worry, and it’s okay. And that he will stop and go get snacks for you if you want to stop right now.

It caused you to cry. He’s just so sweet, how did you land the greatest and softest boyfriend in the history of the world?

He wasn’t sure what to do so he went to his dresser and pulled out a bag of chips and offered it to you. Seeing Beel so worried and concerned made you feel a lot better.

“I’m fine, Beel. I just really love you, but I’m a virgin. I’m not sure if I could fit you, or well.. pleasure you. I’m sorry, it’s stupid.” You ended up telling him.

Did you think he was just going to go put it in without prep work?? Of course not! You silly goose, he was going to prep the life out of you. And him. Don’t worry. You probably won’t even be able to go all the way today.

“Oh.” Well now you learned about what prepping was. And you thanked whoever came up with that idea.

Bringing your thighs into his shoulders, he pulled your panties down and pushed his tongue into you, and started to swirl. One of his hands was covered in lube, working on himself, while the other was working on your ass.

Going deeper and deeper, you let out small whimpers that gradually grew into loud moans. Your body was no longer in your control, and the only thing in your mind was now your desires.

Climaxing for the first time, Beel didn’t even bother to stop. He ate you up like his favorite meal and continued to work on you, pulling his fingers out of your ass to give it a light smack before continuing his work. “One day, we’ll get to the full course, but let’s enjoy this first.”

Belphegor

“You’re such a good girl.” He whispered pulling you closer towards him. As he took off your shirt and bra, he gave your nipple a quick pinch before starting, causing you to yelp in surprise.

You honestly had no clue what you were doing. You knew you were being intimate with Belphie, but how did you get to this point? One second you two were cuddling, and the next he asks you to help with his hard on.

You didn’t realize there was so much to the bedroom world. There were different positions? Styles? Ways of pleasuring people? What on earth is a breastjob? Is that like plastic surgery?

Before you could say anything, Belphie could already see you shaking. Hell, you were shaking more than the time he kind of killed you.

He already had his suspicions that you had no idea how this worked, but is that really something to be scared about? He didn’t get it.

Sighing, he tried his best to tell you how it works. He didn’t want to embarrass you by making you say that you’re a virgin allowed, so in a way, he was being nice.

“Put your hands on my dick and suck. Afterwards pull out and put your breasts against it. It would kill you if we did it raw.”

Blushing, you stared at him with wide eyes. So he could already tell you’re a virgin, huh? Was it really that obvious? But before you had time to express your inexperience, and how it was obvious, Belphie unbuckled his pants and removed his boxers. He just wanted his hard on gone, not a therapy session.

Thanks, Belphie. You tried to be nice in your own way.

Letting saliva form in your mouth for a bit, you bring your face closer to his length as you open and start to suck. Belphie’s hands entangled themselves in your locks, guiding you on how to slowly bob, and when to stop.

As you removed yourself from him, he gripped you by the hips and pushed you forward, your breasts against his lower half. Parting your breasts, you push him all the way inbetween, before slowing starting to move up and down.

With the help of Belphie, you gained a steady pace and gradually began bounding on your own. His low groans encouraged you and you went as best you could. With him no longer needing to guide you, he began to squeeze and roll your nipples between his fingers, causing you to cry out in ecstasy as well.

[tokyoghoose]

something that never was

pairing: daisuke kambe x reader

playlist: even if it's a lie - matt maltese*, a soulmate who wasn't meant to be - jessica benko, the less i know the better - tame impala, id rather go blind - beyonce ( cadillac records ), the house we never built - gabrielle aplin*, i cant make you love me - dave thomas junior, i go crazy - orla gartland, blow my brains out - tikkle me, hidden in the sand - tally hall

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating,

summary: the coldness he radiates gets the best of you, ultimately leading to the end.

announcements!

i dont really see daisuke cheating unless it was a misunderstanding or smth, but i liked the idea of this fic. Let me know what you think!

you can tell i didnt write this in a sitting lol. Im vv sorry if it's hard to follow!

feedback is welcome and appreciated! requests are open!

There's a warm body beside you, yet the bed feels cold. The arm around your waist feels almost as foreign as the face in front of you. It hurts to look at him, to feel him. It hurts to even be around him. He's so beautiful but he feels like half the man he once was. It's disheartening.

Maybe the saying, what you don't know can't hurt you is correct because you were feeling the repercussions right about now. Curiosity really did kill the cat, and at this point, you don't even know how to get satisfaction from it. How does one bring up cheating to their partner? Especially when the partner is like Daisuke.

He likes to brush things off without paying a price except for whatever was in his bank account, the type to hand you a card and say 'go get yourself something pretty.' And it wasn't like he was a bad lover, in fact, it was very easy to fall in love with him. He has a charm about him that's magnetic, one glance and suddenly it's impossible to look away. Or at least that was your experience.

With the final confirmation that closing your eyes will do nothing other than bringing pictures into your head, you turn your back to him and try and distance your body from his. It doesn't do anything to help when he pulls you closer subconsciously, except for maybe it makes you want to cry.

You'd confront him tomorrow, you decided.

If you need to.

———

The pace you set is leisure and if kt wasn't for the poor nail bed quickly coming to nothing, it'd seem like you weren't completely losing your head. It's all you can think about. Daisuke out with some girl—who you know for a fact isn't his sister, and who is all over him. He didn't even make a move to push her off! He hates that kind of attention so if he didn't object it, then he was asking for it. He wanted the girl on his side. In fact, for someone who insists the other person sits across from him at a restaurant- he looked quite comfortable with her nearly in his lap.

Maybe you're overthinking this, y/n.

The door clicks open and your ears strain to hear the sound of Daisuke's dress shoes. He's rather indulgent when it comes to dressing wear and the shoes were practically silent, even with the short heel on the back.

"I'm home." He says to no one particular, taking off his trenchcoat and hanging it on the rack beside the door. He stops his path to the bedroom when he sees you frozen in place and staring in the living room. He merely quirks a brow, going to take off his suit and tie.

Suddenly you can't speak and you have tunnel vision. It's unfair how calm he always looks—it's almost smug like he knows everything about you and more. Like he can read your mind and tell you your darkest thoughts and when you'll die because let's be honest, it'll probably be by his hand. Maybe you should back out now before you can say anything. Forget it all because what if you're mistaken? The more you think, the more weight is added onto your shoulders and the more it pushes you down, down further into the hole you want to crawl into. Maybe you should let it because all you want to do now is escape his piercing gaze. His eyes are studying you, taking in your form and the cogs in his brain are turning to find an explanation as to why you are standing there like a psychopath and not welcoming him home like you usually do.

You feel like you're drowning. Is the light getting dimmer? The black around your vision only seems to close in around Daisuke and you try to look anywhere else but his face. There's water in your ears, the popping of them only intensifies until you can feel it pounding into your head with faint static.

Am I going to pass out?

It's not until his hand comes down gently on your shoulder that the closing circle of vision widens out and suddenly all the imaginary water rushes from your ears. You glance down at his rings before back up him, barely catching the end of his words.

"Are you alright?"

He's never been one to beg, so you would have to answer now or he'll leave it be for the rest of the night and probably months after until you're like this again.

"I-can we talk?"

He eyes you suspiciously, narrowing his eyes and keeping his brow raised before nodding, slipping his tie off around his neck, folding it neatly into the palm of his hand. He gestures for you to start the conversation, going to the minibar curving around the kitchen and living area.

When you don't reply he urges you on, "Why so tense? Did something happen, darling?"

It'd seem like he didn't really care from how cold his voice was, but you've grown accustomed to the monotone to know that he truly is concerned for your health. He genuinely wants to know why you're acting so odd. It only makes this so much harder? You're wrong- you have to be. This must be a sick trick your brain has played on you. Or he must be playing some sick trick.

Anxiety settles itself into your gut and it seems like it won't leave anytime soon.

"Daisuke, are...- are you cheating on me?"

His eyebrows finally go lax but he doesn't look up from unbuttoning the cuffs of his white button-down. His fingers fidget at the buttons and instead of the previous loose form, his hand forms a fist.

"I- "

"Why—exactly, are you accusing me of this?"

His gaze sends chills down your spine. He's offended but he doesn't offer a defense. Suddenly your mouth is dry and you lose all your words? How exactly were you going to tell him you stumbled across him and some woman in a restaurant and practically stared them down for fifteen minutes.

You decide the bear it and swallow a lump that has formed in your throat.

"You were with a woman earlier this week snd well, the displays of affection that I saw were not very like you. You've been gone for long hours and even if you blamed it on the new job, Daisuke—you never tell me anything. Is she for a case? Are you using her for information? Go on, tell me about it. Give me a reason not to accuse you."

You regain your confidence but it falters when you meet his indifferent expression. You'd prefer it if he looked angry and the silence that fills the room is deafening and the tension suffocating.

"I can't tell you anything about our cases-"

"I'm your partner! What am I going to do? Rat you out to whoever is breaking the law? Why would I even how those connections, Daisuke?"

Daisuke inhales deeply through his nose like this whole conversation is a burden on him and you can't help but feel like a burden too. Was this relationship not worth the time to talk this out? One hand grips the bar and the other pinches the bridge of his nose.

"You aren't my partner, you're my fiance. My partner and I work together. So, no. I can't tell you about the cases."

You want to rip out your hair. This isn't about his stupid job or his stupid partner. This is about the dumb fucking restaurant and the dumb fucking woman who was hanging off him.

He can't actually be this dense!

"It's not about that! Either you aren't getting the point or you keep changing the subject because it's true!" Your voice rises in pitch, your confidence failing and turning more so into desperation. But you aren't crying yet. There are no tears and your eyes are dry and you absolutely refuse to cry in front of a Kambe.

It's like the beginning of your relationship all over again. A protective barrier around yourself so you don't get hurt and offended by his cold shoulder. Was it so bad to think you've moved on from that feeling? Why is it so difficult for him to just comfort you and push back those fears? Is he that emotionally stunted? You may not know much about his past and his family, but damn— at least you're trying to work through it with him. Can he put out a little more effort?

All he does is pour himself a glass. All he does... is pour himself a glass.

"You know what- forget it. If you're so entitled and so emotionally reserved that you can't even talk to me without a drink first, then I guess we'll talk about it another time—when you don't look like my voice gives you a headache."

Daisuke actually looks taken back by your words and you suddenly feel bad for hitting a sore spot. He may not have shown it often, but he doesn't particularly like not being able to show his true emotions; no matter the reason being.

"Y/N, wait.."

But you're back on adrenaline just as soon as he felt a drop, pushing past him to get to your coat. You just needed to calm down before you said something you'd truly regret. Words tended to stay in his mind much longer than they were intended to.

"I'm staying at my mother's. Don't call me, don't text me, don't come near me until you're ready to tell me what the hell you were doing with her. "

When he doesn't say anything more and you can practically hear the cogs in his head turn, you make your way out there door, making sure to slam it shut.

You slip on the coat angrily, slamming open the door without sparing him a glance but waiting for him to say something. Anything. Were you being too rash? You shake your head and scold yourself, mentally. You can't just turn around now, not after an outburst like that. He has to learn something from this.

Irrational or not, hopefully, his true colors would show.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Plz i need more papa dabi with his little girl! They're so cute! Can i get dabi with a preggo s/o? At first he doesn't want to be inhis baby's life but when his s/o is involved in an acciedent where the baby had to be taken and put into an incubator he runs at high speed to the hospital and wants to see his little girl! Just imagine him sticking his hand into the incubator and the baby grabbing it and he cries? The s/o didn't survive the acciedent tho :(. It's ok if u don't want to write this..

Mentions of abortion and dabi is toya theory

He laughed.

The bastard had the nerve to laugh when you spilled the tea... when you took all of the courage in your being to tell him taht you were carrying a baby.

His baby.

Suddenly he went to look at you, his smirk slowly dissapearing when he saw your expression.

"Wait, shit-You're serious?" He asked out of no where and you almost snapped.

"Of course Im serious Dabi! I'm pregnant!" You almost cried out, knees almost giving up on holding your form as a billions of thoughts went through your boyfriend's head.

"... we can't." He breathed out, dedperation coming over his eyes but his face still hold onto the same resting bitch expression of his "We can't kept ... whatever the fuck you're carrying."

"I'm sorry but what?!" You exclaimed on horror "How can you even say that? Dabi I-"

"Listen." He said between teeth "We can't have a kid, okay? I can't have a kid... I'm no good for you for fuck's sake, imagine for this thing growing on your-"

"Don't you dare call our child a thing, Todoroki Toya." You growled, not backing away when he glared past your soul for using THAT name on him.

"Don't test your luck now dollface. Or even myself can get rid of this problem we got in." The words slipped his tongue before he could stop them before he felt a huge sting on his stiches and right cheek.

He hissed a bit and looked over at the woman he loved for years... completely broken and absolutely terrified of him, yet a hand still on the air to prove to him she indeed had slapped him.

Well, he deserved it. He couldn't lie.

"Listen..." you sobbed and he could feel his heart shattering "If YOU don't want to be a part of this baby's life, be a better father than yours was... that's alright, but I AM having this baby Dabi. Whether you liking it or not." You cried but still manage to stay with your gaze locked to his.

"(Y/n)..."

"No. If you don't want this kid, then you won't want me then, since I am having this baby."

He snatched his coat before grabbing the handle of the door before looking at you dead in the eye, words spilling like the venom of a snake.

"I should have fucking pulled out when I had the chance then huh?" He slammed the door right after, fighting with himself to prevent him to come back when he heard you falling and collapsong with cries in your apartment.

~

Nine months have passed since then, and after all the shit he had been through, this was by far the worst time of his life. He couldn't raise a kid while being a villain, he was already aprehensive on entering on a relationship, yet... you were the only one able to enter his heart and break the barriers he worked so hard to build ever since his childhood.

"Yo check it out! Disgrace!" Spinner's loud voice echoed on the room as he pointed at the Tv. A car accident aparently as some heroes showed their false selfs off to the reporters while some hurt pregnant woman was hurt and...

He jumped from his seat, turquoise eyes widening so much that his staples hurted like a damn bitch. But he couldn't care less to his pain, he couldn't care less at hearing shigaraku and the others asking him where he was running of to.

No, he couldn't care about a fucking thing when his doll was the one injured.

Wearing his disguise while running he almost sey on fire someone blocking his way as bis legs almost created wings from how fast he was running. His heart was on his ears as he manage to follow the ambulance.

Bjsting on the hospital he was easily barried by the security and some nurses.

"Get the fuck out of my way before I burn you pieces of trash to crisp." He said nonchantly but glaring through his glasses as he showed his palm on fire.

At the sudden scare of them he jumped and stormed his way until one ghard holded onto his shoulders.

"Young man you cant go on there. That woman is on a surgery right now. Between life or death situation."

"Bullshit I saw that woman kicking ass far better than All might, let me enter bastard." He was at the verge of shouting as some other securities came to help contaon the villain.

"Listen, family is usely allowed to wait on another room but-"

"For fuck's sake, I AM THAT FATHER'S KID!" He shouted in ager as some flames erupted, scating the poor workers as they let them in at least on the waiting room.

Boucing his knees fervently, he flinched when a doctor came to talk with him with a frown.

"Im sorry sir. We could only save your daughter... but the mother suffered a lot of loss of bloss."

He felt like screaming... vomiting? He didn't know... he had lost you. He cjrsed under his breath shakily before slamming his fist on the wall... his stiches coming out and blood of his being spilled on the wall and the floor as the doctor watched silently.

He couldn't even fucking apologize for being an ass to you...

He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder but he growled and shrugged off anyway. The doctor, not taking it too personally, decided to spoke up.

"I understand your state of mind... but if you wish, your daughter is on a incubator. Safe and sound, you can go see her without a problem, just ask the nurses and they will lead you there." The man spoked before leaving the room, letting Dabi scream all of his wtath and destroy the room in the middle of his outburst and regret.

Crouching down on the ground, he brushed his indigo looks out of his eyes as he let out tears to slip down his eyes, to his scars then drop on his clothing.

Standing shakily up, he made his mind. You wanted to so badly have a kid, his no less... it didn't matter whose he was or what his past was about... you loved him and then he treated you like that?

He looked at the window and the sky outside to see it was about to rain... promissing to you, wherever you were, that he was not going to mess up the last remain of love that you both had.

Following the nurse without a word he almost gagged when he saw the bundle of clothing enevelopong such a small human being that had a tuff of his natural color hair. He didn't had words to deacribe on how beautiful that sign was...

You would have loved amd even cried with that...

"This is your daughter sir! Congrats! Rei is such a cute and healthy baby despite being pre mature."

His head jerked in her direction as he mouthed a what... shocked and frozen at hearing that name.

"Oh! Sorry, but before... she died, she only could say that her name was Rei. She kept saying until she blanked out.."

He looked at the girl and slowly lifted two of his fingers to touch the incubator in a mix of regret and adoration.

The nurse mumbled that she was leaving them for a while just when the baby had opened her eyes to look at him sleepily. He forgot how to breath for a second befofe he saw the baby touch her hand where his fingers where before smilling and giggling for the first time.

He couldn't control the disgusting sob that ripped out of his throat as he watched the girl smile back at him despite how he was wearing. He couldn't believe that she was a perfect mixture of him and you... but judging by the giggles... she took a lot from your personality.

"Hello... Rei."

[violetnotez]

request:  It’s the the first time I send a request so I hope I’m doing it right 🥺 can I request a kirishima x reader one-shot with the reader being the traitor and during a fight with the LOV she betrays her classmates and her boyfriend and they found everything out. Possibly angst ofc and you can choose if end it with angst or not, as you prefer. Please I love your blog 🥰

hi anon! So I really loved this idea, and I kinda took it in a different direction, hope thats alright! <3

Kirishima x reader

Genre: Angst, PG

Word Count: 2.6k 

Warnings: none!

Prompt:  #3, “you cant tell me you dont feel the same way” from @bnhabookclub​ Provisional Licensing Exam event

Summary: You have been recruited by Shigaraki to spy on UA as a student. You mistakenly fall in love with Eijirou Kirishima during your time there, dating him for almost 6 months. But now Shigaraki needs you back, and in order to keep Kirishima safe, you have to break his heart

You let out a deep sigh, your chest feeling heavy and full of despair.

You didn't want to do this- you didn't want to hurt him, or let him go.

But to keep him safe- you had to do it.

Shigaraki had revealed the night before that his new plan was complete, and that your spying operation at UA was no longer needed. You had been recruited by Shigaraki at a young age to pose as a student attending UA High, your powerful quirk allowing you to get into the famous Class 1-A. For the last few months you had been pretending to be a hero-in-training, befriending every member in the class in order to win their trust. It was tiring work, trying to study on your own as well as memorize each student's strengths and weaknesses for Shigaraki to use. But by being so friendly with them, you began to realize you actually liked some of the students, making it difficult to hate them as much as you used to. They were so carefree and hopeful about the future, not realizing how cold the real world was like you did. You surprised yourself by loving every moment you were with 1-A, especially with your boyfriend, Eijirou Kirishima. It was hard to stay away from him- he was so bright and charismatic, his smile able to be seen from a mile away. His warmth was so intoxicating, lighting up your life in love and affection. He was the sweetest boy you had ever met, and quite handsome as well, sealing the deal for the massive crush you had grown to have on him. You felt guilty for dating him, knowing that a large portion of your life was hidden from him. It was a frigid lie that had once tried to hold you back from crushing on Kirishima, yet his brilliant warmth melted it away. He unknowingly helped you feel safe, to momentarily believe the world wasn't so bad after all.

Even though you had grown to love the redhead and his bright personality as you spied on Class 1-A, you knew the consequences that one day you would have to leave, yet you followed your heart anyway.

But now the dreaded day had come- Shigaraki needed you to disappear from this new life you had learned to love. He had received all the information he needed from your snooping around, and it was time for you to leave.

Guilt flooded your body, drowning your lungs and heart in regret and misery by the news: you should never have dated poor Kirishima in the first place. You knew it would break his heart once he knew your time together would end, but it had to be done: if Shigaraki ever knew a student from 1-A was romantically in love with you, he wouldn't hesitate to use Kirishima against you as bait to keep you wrapped around his clammy finger. You wouldn't allow Kirishima to get hurt over you, not on your watch.

The only way to ensure you could slip away without worrying about Kirishima was to make him forget about you. That was a close to impossible task, so that idea you scratched out from your mind. You only had two options left: tell him the truth or break his heart.

If you told him the truth, you would have to admit that you were a villain, and most likely would break his heart from the pain away. It would mean revealing your whole life and reason to be a "hero" was a complete and utter lie, most likely destroying the boy in the process. But you already knew Kirishima like the back your hand, and could guess his actions in an instant. He would most likely try to help you, attempt to fix your ways and tell you could leave: but you knew better. You were too involved with the LOV to ever leave and live an everyday life. They would hunt you down if you so much as even admitted to wanting to leave.

You decided the best course of action was to tell Kirishima you were over and down with your relationship- it killed you to even think of speaking such lies, but you didn't want to see him getting hurt. The boy would be heartbroken, yes, but after a while, he'd get over it. His friends were so supportive, so he was sure to have many people consoling him out of his blues. He would forget about you one day and find someone else, someone who wouldn't lie and hurt him. It hurt you to admit it, but this was the best plan you could think of to keep him completely safe.

You were going to miss Kiri and his strong embraces, though, as they were only things that made you feel safe and protected. He was so bright, cheerful, and kind, and it was hard not to resist those warm emotions when your world felt so cold and menacing. But the only way to keep the light inside Kirishima bright was to cut ties with him permanently- you had to break his heart.

Kirishima bounded into the common room cheerfully from his normal workout routine, a warm towel wrapped around his shoulders as he greeted some of his friends. His eyes fell on you, and his heart soared- you looked so pretty sitting there, the setting sun making strands of your hair sparkle like spun gold. His smile grew wider, his perfect teeth sparkling- how was he so lucky to land such an amazing girl like you? His strong arms wrapped around your body from behind the couch, his skin radiating heat as he rubbed his cheek against your hair. "Hey princess, how are you?" he mumbled your pet name into your ear, making your heart churn painfully- this would be the last time he'd hold you like this, the last time he'd speak so softly and sweetly to you. You sighed sadly, meekly wrapping a hand around his skin. 'Hey Kiri," you replied numbly, your voice depressed. You rose from the couch, your legs feeling heavy like lead as you wrapped your arms around your body- why did it feel so cold? Kirishima's smile faded slightly- you didn't sound at all happy. You usually greeted him so adorably, always giving him a big hug or a peck on his cheek. Now you seemed defeated, your hands wrapped around your body as if to protect yourself from something. "Hey, whats going on? You alright- is something bothering you?" he asked sweetly, clueless to why you were feeling this way as he closed the gap between you. He placed his calloused palm on the small of your back, reassuringly, his thumb rubbing against the fabric of your shirt. You swallowed hesitantly, your eyes unable to look into his- it felt too painful to look at him, his innocence to the whole situation making you feel so conflicted and guilty. "We need to talk," you forced yourself to say, his face instantly masked in worry. "Uh-uh sure!" he replied quickly, his speech a little flustered as he tried to seem unbothered, "do you want to talk in my room or yours?" "Let's go in mine," You quickly began walking to your room, Kirishima's footsteps following close behind. He was perplexed and worried- you seemed like something was really bothering you, your voice free of any brightness and joy like it usually was.

You felt like each step to your room made your heart fall heavier and heavier, opening up your room door slowly and letting him enter your room. He flipped on the lights, illuminating the space as you closed the door- even though you'd be long gone by the morning, you felt you at least owed Kirishima some privacy by having the door closed. It made the room feel so much smaller now that Kirishima's aura took over the room. Guilt and shame were eating up at you as you remembered all the hangout sessions and study dates you had in this room, hating how worried and compassionate he looked towards you. "What did you want to talk about? Is it something I did or do? I'm really sorry if I hurt you some way," he was already thinking it was his fault, making you cringe in internal pain- god why was he so sweet? It was you, it was your own personal issues, not him.   "No Kiri, no!" you frantically reassured him, your hands going out in front of you in protest. "Its not you, its- its just," "You can tell me anything, you know that right?" he affirmed sweetly, his eyes soft with concern. You nodded your head numbly, your mouth feeling dry like sandpaper. Kirishima walked close to your body, placing his palms around  your elbows, your arms full of tension as he tried to melt it away with his touch. He was looking down at you with so much worry, so much adoration and love, it made your stomach turn painfully. Why did this have to be so hard-it was so agonizing, like pulling off a bandage slowly and painfully. You just needed to get it done, to rip off the metaphorical bandage as quickly as possible- the longer you wait, the longer the stinging and the pain will be for the both of you. "Then tell me whats wrong," he instructed softly, still utterly oblivious to the whole situation. You swallowed thickly, your voice and throat feeling hoarse and tight. It was now or never. "Kiri, I- we need to break up."

Kirishima froze, his heart stopping in his chest. He didn't hear you correctly, right? Maybe he heard you wrong? There was no way you wanted to break up with him, no way at all- "I-Im sorry, I just-I just don't love you," You hated how these words were coming out of your mouth, these lies that were obviously ripping you and Kirishima apart from the inside. You watched his expression turn from worry to agony, his eyes wide with shock. It hurt too much to see him look so frozen, as if your words had caused him to shut down. His hands were still on your body, the air changing so suddenly- it was stuffy, stale, and uncomfortable. And it was your fault. You shimmied out of his embrace, turning around so you wouldn't be forced to face him. The guilt was eating at you- you couldn't bear to look at him look so defeated when you knew you had caused it. Your abrupt movement seemed to wake him up out of his heartbroken daze, his hands instantly grasping for you, spinning you around quickly. You breathed hitched painfully in your throat- you had never seen him look so defeated, so desperate. His palms were wrapped around your shoulders tightly, almost painfully, making it practically impossible to escape his hold on you. "y/n, please, please just tell me what's wrong," his voice was wavering, his eyes already gleaming with tears, "I-I know this isn't you, if I did something, y/n, I'll fix it, I promise! I can't lose you, please, please dont do this-" he was practically begging "Kiri, I-I, I cant," your voice was becoming weaker from the stress of trying to hold back a sob, "I-I never loved you." "Y/n, no, I cant accept that," tears were gliding against his cheeks, his voice full of passion, "you cant tell me you dont feel the same way." "I-I love you so, so much, you have no idea," he looked down at you with his wide, puppy-like eyes, begging you to change your mind with his words. "Your all I think about- when I wake up, when I fall asleep, everything I see reminds me of you. You make me so happy, the way you smile, your laugh, your hugs- I-I cant live without those things y/n. I cant live without you. When I asked you out that day, I was so nervous- I had been planning for weeks before, and when you agreed to go out, you made me the happiest man alive." Tears were falling down your cheeks now, your heart screaming in agony. You wanted to tell him that's how you felt as well- Kirishima was your whole entire life, enveloping your every waking moment in his wonderfully bright aura. He was your light, your sun, your anchor in the crazy mess of the galaxy of your life. There was no love and no warmth until Kirishima came around. But now you needed to keep him safe- you had to sacrifice your happiness with each other in order to keep him out of harm's way. "Kiri, I only dated you because I felt pity," you lied straight through your teeth, wishing you could melt into the wall seeing Kirishima's face break. "I was too afraid to say no," His heart couldn't take anymore clearly, his face conflicted with so many emotions you couldn't differentiate between any of them. You felt like this was the most ultimate betrayal to the boy, making him think his love he had with you was all a lie. It wasn't, and you wished you could just tell him the truth, but you knew that would be worse. He'd never allow you to leave- you had to, to protect yourself and him. You put yourself in a crappy situation- you wouldn't drag him along with you. "So-it-it was all fake?" He asked, his voice quiet and terrified. He didn't want to hear the answer he knew would spill out of your mouth. "Yes," The room was deadly quiet, Kirishima completely dumb founded-all the times you hugged him, made him feel accepted in your life, laughed at his jokes, kissed him, made him smile, made him happy-was all a lie? A cruel joke in order to spare his feelings? He felt like such an idiot-he should have known this was too good to be true. He felt deep down he wasn't good enough for you, strong enough, smart enough, manly enough. This was just confirming that fear by 10 fold. You were sniffling, watching the love you had for the boy only grow out of misery, while his love for you was diminishing. "Y-n, I-"he was so confused, his hands running through his hair in anguish. "Why?!? Why did you-you were my first everything! You are everything to me! I can't believe you, there's gotta be another reason-I love you, you love me!" You were so quiet, your shoulders shaking in misery and guilt as tear after salty tear fell against your cheek. Your silence was painful, confirming what he feared with each passing second, your averted eyes hiding the actual truth "You love me, right?" You were too afraid to speak, knowing what you had to say to break him from you-but you couldn't. The lie of saying you didn't love him was eating up your insides, clogging your lungs and your throat to the point you felt you couldn't speak. You couldn't tell him you didn't love him-it was too painful. You already lied to him enough. "I'm sorry," you whispered, looking at him with reddened eyes. What he thought you were sorry for was your lack of care for him, the lies you had told him for the past 6 months, and it burnt his insides in a gut wrenching flame, the fire licking and eating his insides in agony.  He had to leave-he couldn't take this anymore, his body walking right past you and opening the door quickly to get fresh air. You were now sobbing, broken gasps crying out his name as he shut the door behind you, closing his heart off from ever accepting you again. You were sorry that you were in love with him, and by being in love with him, you had broken him.

Taggings:

 (if you would like to be added, message me via my inbox- if you would to specify a certain character youd like to be added for, that is fine as well!)

@weebartistinc​ @yuueimagines​ @orokayagi​ @leeeah-loooser​

[egos]

so i had a therapy session on friday and i had a huge breakdown yadda yadda yadda and she wanted to schedule another session today instead of waiting on friday cuz ... 7 days is so long and i wanna die ...i needed this .. like going more than once a week for a few weeks...and she just messaged me saying she cant make it today and she offered me some other time slots this week and none of them work for me! so instead of going twice a week or once a week but not having to wait 7 days between appointments i get 0.. im going to rip my hair out she started doing this like a year or so ago . constantly cancelling our appointments and rescheduling etc etc and i was mad and hurt? bc she would cancel or have smth interrupt our sessions 9 out of 10 times. i stopped going for months bc of this. and like 2 months ago i started going again and she started being flaky again . and i really need someone to talk to im losing my mind like i know its just a job and she has her own life but truly this just serves as a reminder than no one cares about me. literally on friday i talked about how i had no one to physically turn to when i was at my worst and now this... its like i pour my heart out to someones whose job is to listen and then they just ... ignore u more or less

[soulwillower]

isn’t this easy?• bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)      

warnings: swearing, some angst, fluff, poorly written, unedited!!!

... idk what this is

[losers + reader are aged up to high school in this.]

2.2k words

♡

bill’s eye rolls were getting increasingly more aggressive and painful to watch as you and the losers sit in the clubhouse, silently eyeing the boy as he leans against a pole with his phone to his ear. on the other line, an upset voice spits words like “insensitive,” “asshole,” “stupid,” and “embarrassing” but bill says nothing back, sighs emitting slowly from worried down lips with a pained and embarrassed look.

bill was broke, and not in an economic sense as much as in his relationship. he’d never admit it to you up front, but he told eddie and ben three days ago that his girlfriend was taking so much more than she was giving. and its killing him. 

its not like none of you noticed, it’s just that he’s still with her despite that that hurts you.

you cant help the twinge of anger that lights a fire deep within you; you open your mouth to question the berating insults that were just flying through his phone from the girls that was supposed to love him.  

richie asks before you have a chance. “whats got your girl’s panties in such a twist, big bill?” mike chuckles and okay, not exactly the words you would have chosen, but the grimace and shrug bill responds with suggests the job was done either way.

“e-earlier today i m-made a thats wh-what she said j-joke.”

you blink and share a look with eddie before looking back in shock to bill. “and thats all? you got all of that just from a joke? what, was it bad?”

he shakes his head, “i th-thought it was funny. she and her boring flathead f-friends didnt. i’m in the d-doghouse, now.”

it’s quiet then, because all seven of you - and possibly bill himself - were all thinking it, but not even you or richie were bold enough to just say it. plus, bill could never betray the treatment that he’s always known, and it's killing you to watch him wilt under this girl. he gets this treatment from his parents and now his girlfriend, too. it hurts you everywhere.

and in the silence of the group, the sarcastic 'cheers' gesture that bill makes with his can of soda is a sad reminder that he’s going to stay true to the golden core that once defined a now-dying infatuation.

but you’re fairly certain that golden core started rotting the moment they’d met. 

- 

sometimes, when bill gets flashbacks or around the certain times that he cant help but stare forlornly at the empty room across his hall, he would call her.

she didn't get it, of course she didn't. she tried to help him the first few times, like a decent girlfriend - really, the bare minimum - but it got hard for her. or she didn't want that part of bill. 

she only wanted the ‘good parts,’ you’d heard. but that doesn't make sense, because every part of bill is a good part. 

she doesn't get him, she doesn't understand the depths of trauma and hurt that swirls slowly below the depths of his 6’1 frame - behind his smiles, his leadership, his kindness, cheer, and unsullied bravery and intuition.

the losers get it, you get it. because you were there along with him the whole time and though still none of you want to outright address it for fear of getting violently sick as you recall memories. 

but you and bill can talk about it in a way that’s accessible for the two of you and it’s typically stuff that makes you laugh or makes you uncomfortable upon reflection, the fuzzy memories that get harder to recall the older you grow. 

and because of that, more often than not you’ll get a text and then sit in your car down the block until you see her leave his house before sneaking to his room to comfort him and brush tears off his cheeks that roll down from both the petrifying fear of repressed memories along with the stinging pains of rejection from his disdainful girlfriend.

it was heartbreaking.

during those nights he tells you that he doesn't deserve someone like you and you think that’s absurd. but he also tells you how nice it is that you make him laugh when he knows he’s about to cry, and how you know exactly how he feels when those intrusive feelings get in the way and its almost too much. he says he loves you, and when you say it back it’s with a stabbing pain through your heart. because he loves you, but not in the same way. 

and sure, you dream of the day where bill wakes up and realizes that holy shit, you’ve been in front of him the whole time. but even that isn’t as important as your longing for bill to wake up and see that he just deserves better than her. 

you could give that to him, but even so, he just needs to get out of her talons because they were ripping him apart.

- 

and when it had been a few days since you'd last gotten to see bill, you decided you needed to check in on him. out of childhood habit, you walked through the backyard and went to knock on the back door. but his figure is already there and before your fist can make a sound,  the door slides open. “oh, hi.” you say, eyes wide, fist hovering above the empty space that once was bill’s sliding door.

bills green eyes swim with happiness and he gives you a tired smile, stepping out with you and giving you another glimmer of hope. “h-hey y/n, wh-what’s up?” he asks you, following you without question. you shrug, “wanted to go to the park. need to get away.” you explain, leaving out the 'you' at the beginning of your last sentence. he gives a blinding smile as he’s helping to lift you over his back fence. “g-good, i’ve been missing my g-girl lately.”

you think about those words the whole way to the park and they still make you smile as your legs brush against each other on the park bench. you can't help but watch him as he talks. the way his lips form words as he tries to force them out of his mouth, the embarrassed blush totally absent from his cheeks now that his girlfriend isn't around. he told you once with a grimace that she doesn't always love when he stutters.

you do, of course. you always love everything about bill.

and minutes later, when you crack a lewd joke, he looks shocked and unsurprised all at once that you can't help your stare as his green eyes flick around, checking if any kids at the park heard before looking to you. he tips his head back with a bright laugh, the melodic sound coaxing a laugh of your own from your lips. his arm casually comes to rest against the back of the bench as laughs still bubble from his cherry lips, his red hair glinting in the sun.

he looks at you and for the first time in months, he looks completely relaxed. “y/n!” he says, halfway between amusement and chastising, his lips still smiling. you smile back at him, holding his soft gaze as he shakes his head softly.

isnt this so easy?

you wonder briefly why it isnt easy like this with him and her.

because you just don’t get it. bill’s the kind of boy that everybody loves - very few people dislike him and if you discredit the psychopaths or lunatics that this town is riddled with, the people left are far and few between.

his girlfriend dislikes him now, though, and he dislikes her. but hes too nice to see that, because he just wants everyone around him to be happy even if its at his own expense.

- 

and then two weeks after their phone call in the clubhouse, he showed up at your door with short breaths, stuttering words, and tears swimming in his eyes. it was one in the morning and he looked almost as bad as you’d seen him since that one summer back in middle school.

and when you were up in your room, he told you all about their breakup and how that itself didnt hurt, but what was killing him was how foolish he’d been to keep on dating a girl who didnt show him the kind of love he wanted.

he started to say something else, but stopped and you didn’t bring it up, as much as you wanted to.

bill was sleeping on rocks at home, spending sleepless nights thinking about where they’d stepped and the entire mess that had thankfully ended tonight. but he couldn’t sleep well and the evidence was right under his eyes.

so you’d let him stay with you, and he insisted on sleeping on the floor but you thought that was nonsense. he curled up with you on the bed and it was the best sleep the two of you ever had.

- 

then it happened again a couple weeks after their break up. bill had run up to your front door and pounded on it until you begrudgingly answered. he'd woken you up, because it was seven in the morning and you gape at him - he looks like he's been up all night. "bill-" you start but he starts stuttering, talking a mile a minute as if he has to say something now or else he never could again.

the feeling of an empty pit in your stomach that wishes for a splash of light starts to grow as he looks at you almost warily. "y-y/n, i have to- just listen, p-please, because i n-need to a-ask you..."

you wait patiently, terrified because he looks like he might be sick, but he starts anyways. “y/n. you u-understand me, you always h-have...” he looks very anxious, and bill is rarely anxious so you start to panic. his next words are shocking.

“y/n, are y-you... are you in l-love with me?” he asks, and the air leaves your lungs. he’s watching you, looking torn, and it breaks your heart. it looks like he’s in pain and he looks so lost. you nod slowly, shrugging. “yeah, bill. i just- i cant help it.” you say, feeling defeated and somehow elated by your admission.

his eyes well with tears and he shakes his head. “im so s-s-sorry.” he whispers, voice cracking. it kills you. “i’m s-sorry, f-fuck.” 

you’re scared and confused and deeply sorrowful as his words leave his lips. just because he doesn't love you back doesn't mean he has to be sorry about it at all. 

 it hurts you to think that a boy who gives so much love for everyone can be so lost and unsure with himself, feeling so undeserving of real love. “y-y/n, i'm s- i didnt kn-know. i d-didnt know, i'm so s-sorry.”

he's hysteric and your heart hurts as you realize he's sorry that you had to see him with his ex all the time and you shake your head. you’ve never seen bill like this before. 

“bill, it's okay, i just want you to be happy, that’s all. i don't need you to- we dont have to-“

“-i don’t want to f-f-fuck it up w-with you, too. i’m s-scared.” he says softly, eyes bright and teary like summer grass after a long rain. his hands are shaking as he lifts them to rub at his tired eyes, lip quivering.

the world spins for both of you as you tentatively walk forward, grabbing his cheeks softly. theyre warm under your touch and when he looks down at you, the spinning stops.

“why do you think you could ever fuck it up with me?” you ask softly, genuinely curious as your heartbeat thumps against your chest. his eyes are closed, in either fear or regret. 

“you couldn’t if you tried. i love ‘thats what she said’ jokes.” you say teasingly.

bill laughs wetly, his cheeks slightly squishing as his wide smile is obstructed by your soft hands. “i love y-you.” he says, eyes opening to stare at you seriously. you raise your eyes, surprised and elated at his words.

“you do?” you ask dumbly, hands falling from his face to his shoulders to steady yourself. “y-yeah, i do. i think i have for a r-really long t-time.” he says sheepishly with a smile.

you can’t help but let out a relieved laugh, your shoulders relaxing as he grins down at you with a look full of nothing but love. 

“can i k-kiss you?” he whispers, hands sneaking to your cheek and neck. “please.” you say just as quietly, unable to wipe the smile from your face.

when he closes the gap, he tastes like salt but he kisses you softly with more intent and feeling than you ever thought possible.

his hands are gentle and rough all the same, kissing with wild fire and with calm waters. you feel pinned to earth and up in the clouds, his lips on yours and tongue swiping gently in your mouth. he’s smiling into your mouth, laughing gently with love as he pulls you closer, arms wrapping tightly around your middle.

the darkness that ached for the splash of light within you is completely gone now, replaced with glowing love, admiration for the boy that you’ve loved since middle school.

 he belongs with you.

[randomsevans]

Pain of being in love part 3

Original apart of @jtargaryen18 #30daysofchris2020

Two weeks had dragged by as you felt like an empty shell going day by day . You hadn't spoken to anyone apart form Scott ,you haven't left the house unless it was for a good reason. You would constantly forget to eat so Scott became like your own personal chief.

And all this because the time had finally arrived where your love for chris was outshone by his own love for someone else .

Scott had told you that Lisa and Minka have been planning a engagement party much to chris dislike as he sees the announcement as an engagement party .

Chris had tried to call you but you always let it go to voice mail as it was probably an invitation to the party next Saturday. You really didnt want to go . The pain in your heart was begaing you not to as it cant take anymore hurt . But you knew as being the brothers best friend and a family friend you need to go . Because as much as it hurt you . You know that this will make Chris happy and you need to be happy for him even tho you are dying inside .

++++++++++++

It was the day before the party so the Friday and some how Scott had managed to get you out of your bed and house only to be in his house on his couch . Currently eating too much mint chocolate chip ice cream along with this stuiped movie Scott forced you to watch

Love Rosie .

"How fuckin ironic "

You knew that Scott put picked this movie on purpose . Whether it was for the both of you to make fun or the movie like you usual do or let you watch it because it was so fuckin relatable. Either way you too had ended up watching the movie in silence with a few mumbles about food or if one was getting up or not and even a giggle or two when Rosie was struggling with a new born .

It had got to the part of the wedding and oh by god how you related to it . Rosie speech on how she loves him no matter where he is or who hes with .. your heart was yelling someone gets it . You were stuck in your own your head focusing on Rosie words until Scott spoke up.

"How ?" He ask

"What ? " you were confused and faced him as he faced you turning his body as the movie played in the back ground .

"How , when, why ?" He stared directly into your eyes with the soft blue shade he shares with his brother

"What ? " you asked again

"When did you begin to have feeling for my brother and why ... and how much because not to be mean but iv never seen you like this not ever so his engagement clear has affected you " he said softly

You hadn't yet actually spoken the words I love your brother to Scott or I'm in love with him to be more exact but Scott had guest it never asked about it until now .

You were silent for a moment thinking ... well more like your head was empty of thoughts you just liked the silence.

"Who said I have feeling.... "

"Y/n " Scott cut you off

You shift in your seat turning to face Scott legs cross over each other and hands in your lap looking down .

"I .. I had always had a crush on him you know ... who didnt " scott hummed in agreement

"But do you remember that day when I...was ment to have my first date but he never showed up "

Once again Scott hummed

"Well Chris picked me up... and he tried cheering me up .. and it worked "

You glanced up a Scott who looked softly at you as your eyes hot glassy . You looked back down to your hands as there stared nervously fiddling with the ends of the blanket that was wrapped around you.

"Well we were at a dinner ... and do you know in movies it like you have loved someone and you always new . Well it wasnt like that ... "

You took a deep breath.

"I hit me .. like a truck ... he was sitting at the other side of the table... and it hit me everything flooded I... love him but not just that . Because I love you ."

That caused Scott to scoffed as if ' I know you do who doesnt '

"It was more ... well more like a different type of love ... or more like . I was in love in love with him ."

You glance up at the ceiling letting the tears sink back into your eyes as you shake your head .

"I AM in love with him "

You looked at Scott who now had tears in his eyes ..and red showing he was trying to hold them back .

"And I think I always will . "

You were both silent for a seconde

"No matter where he is ... or who hes with a will always love him "

That caused you both to giggle as you made your way into Scotts open arms

"Quoting are we " he chuckled as your head landed on his chest as his arms wrapped around you .

"Well you know me "

You heard him sniff as you felt a tear drop into your hair .

"Oh .. god ... how have you kept it in for so long... that was like ... .... we were 14 or 15 fuck how ? Why ?" He said softly as tears clouded his voice .

"I didnt say anything or do anything because he will never and has never felt the same I'm... im like a sister to him ...in a weird way... and I'd never deserve him ....."

You left your head and looked at Scott .

"And at the same time I realised iam in love with him I also knew nothing would become of it because... " tears bow fell down your eyes .

"Because it was better to have both of you in my life then not to have neither of you ... and I wasnt willing to risk it ..... and I knew ... I knew this time would come .... but it dosnt stop .... it doesn't stop it hurting " you couldn't help but let it all out as you tucked your self back into Scott

He placed a kiss in your hair

"Your a silly one ain't ya ..... I will always be here you know that " he said softly

"You do know that right ?"

You just nodded as your tears drained his shirt .

++++++++++

You stood at Lisa front door with Scott by your side much like that dreaded day three weeks ago . You were in a blue floral dress in small pumps waiting patiently as you heard the party already up and ready with in .

"Its not late to turn back " Scott whisper in your ear just before the door swang open. To reveal Minka at the door with a giant smile and an even bigger diamond on her left hand . That had somehow made your heat beat pain through out your veins.

"It is now " you whisper back before putting a wide fake smile on

"Minka .... contagralations " you tired your best not to sound bitter you really did .

"Y/n right ? " she asked looking you up and down . You just nodded your head

She was about to speak again when Chris practically ripped the door hinges off as he opened the door wider . As his eyes landed on you there grew and his month hung open as he let out a deep sigh . Making your heat beat fast instead of the numb feeling it has had over the last three weeks .

"Y/n " was all he said a small whisper .

You and Chris eyes were locked missing the fallen smile of Minka as she looked between the two of you here eyebrows knitting . While Scott had a small smirked placed on his lips due to Minka reaction

"Chris I thought we agreed I'd do the door " Minka snapped at chris . Breaking his eye contact with you . To glance at Minka for a split seconde

"Um yeah sorry " he said quickly and looked back deep into your eyes , with the softest blue shade "I... I just heard her name ..." he sighed and he said it slowly and softly . He tilted his head almost like a child went there feelings are hurt . "I haven't..... I havnt see you ... heard form you ... I tried calling but ..I always ... "

"I was busy " you cut him off

Before chris could answer or even process what you said , Lisa pops her head at the other side of the door

"What are you all doing out here ! ... come on come in "she took at step back with a wide smile , as you stepped in .

She pulled you in to a tight high as she always does "isn't this amazing.... finally get to celebrate my boy with hes wife to be "

You closed your eyes as your rested your chin on her shoulder and sighed "it sure is "

You took a step back and put on the widest smile .

What you didnt know was as you were facing momma Evan's. Two blue eyed boys looked at you with soften eyes but both for different reasons .

"Come on let's join the others " lisa said to all of us.

"I couldn't agree more Mrs Evan's " minka replied

"How many times Lisa or even better mom " lisa laught her and Minka walked side by side to the garden

"Ma! " chris said .

"What she will be my daughter in law soon so she better get use it " both lisa and Minka laught and diserperared into the garden . Leaving you , Scott and Chris still in the hall way of the front door .

"How soon exactly ?" Scott asked the fill the uneasy silence .

"Um its gonna be a fall wedding " chris replied

"Oh " was all you said as you felt the pit in your stomach grow and your heart beating fast

"Like .... next year or two ?" Scott said slowly shrugging with his hands in his pockets .

"Uh no " Chris paused and took at quick glance at you and looked at the floor . "This year .... in 3 months " he sighed.

And as if it wasnt possible you felt your heart crack more .

Scott only let out a deep sigh and grab your arm " come on y/n let's get a drink " you nod you head and began to walk to the garden . But you turned your head over your should and with a deep sigh , you dry throat and stinging eyes .

"Contraglation Chris " you sighted, eys watery " I'm... happy for yo... you ... sh ...Minka is a lucky girl " you choked out as Scott pulled you futher away as he tried to save you from futher heart break or for you to continue lying .

"I'm...not " Chris mumbled silently as you were out of earshot .. and took a deep sigh and then finally followed your direction and headed for the back yard.

The never ending growing pit in your soul and tears in your heart was growing more painful as you chuged down your first of many drinks of the night. But what do you expect it's the pain of being in love

Ps I didnt realise that the actress (lily colin)that play Rosie in the movie love Rosie actual dated chris

[theravencawsatmidnight]

On The Prowl... Pt Six

A fantasy AU

Warnings: Violence. Blood. Mentions of breeding.

All parts can be found under the OnTheProwl tag !

Shinso was staring at the dead deer in front of him, he seemed to be lost in thought. He kept thinking about you . Why? You were just a vessel for his kittens. Thats all. Why did you matter so much? When he was breeding you , it felt different. You didint fight him , in fact you talked with him just minutes before . Was it because you smelled different? His tail swayed in irritation. Aizawa, he took you from him in the worst way . Bred you in front of him . Theres no way you would have his kittens now...

Bakugo spotted Shinso sitting by himself , he growled making Shoto and Chizome look up from their deer. They watched the lion stalk over shoving Shinso causing him to stumble to his feet. He growled low back at Bakugo . The lion scoffed standing up straight sticking his chin out .

“Hah?!? Whats youre problem ?!” He asked walking around Shinso circling him “Are you upset you lost youre little kitten maker?”

“Bakugo. Stop” Shoto said walking over

“Shut up Leopard!” Bakugi roared back

“He did say his was returning soon. It was reckless on Shinso’s part” Chizome added pawing his snout.

Shinso growled pouncing on the black wolf growling in his face. Chizome snarled kicking him off and Shinso rolled hitting a rock.

“Look at you. Youre just a gentle purple panther. A scardy cat!” Taunted the lion

“What am i suppose to do..” Shinso asked not getting up.

“Fight for Alpha!” Bakugo pulled Shinso up

“I agree. Aizawa always gets first dibs when hes around and the incubators never carry full term so its like a waste. “ Shoto calmly added.

Chizome stepped over joining the group. “Having Aizawa in charge does not benefit us”

“If hes right about leaving this place then we should. We are wasting our time here.” Shoto added

“Why does it matter to you guys? You wont listen to me if im Alpha.”

“Stupid!!! You think we want that jaguar in charge?!? You heard Shoto. When hes here we dont get any incubators. And you want the stupid incubator back right?” Bakugo held his hands out , explosions bouncing off them. “Lets go get er !!!”

Shinso blinked at the lion for a second, he looked at Shoto , he had ice coming off him. Chizome had his tongue out . Shinso looked down at his paws while he spoke.

“What if she has his kittens though. I cant love them. I will have to kill them. I dont know what that will do to her”

“We wont know till the day comes. Thats why we need to get rid of Aizawa” Shoto said putting his paw on Shinso’s shoulder

“You think he will see it coming?”asked the Wolf sniffing the air.

“Ill stay behind.” Bakugo said sitting down ripping a deer leg off its body to eat. “Just tell flea bag to howl and ill rush in”

Shoto nodded looking over at the jungle then back at Shinso and Chizome. Chizome wagged his tail and Shinso looked at his paws again before following the two.

Aizawa was petting youre head in slow strokes , he had pulled himself out of you with a pop sound and laid you ontop of him. You couldint move, at all. You could not feel youre legs and youre stomach was slightly bloated with all of the seed inside you. You couldint cry anymore, no tears came out . The breeze creeping between youre thighs burned to no end. You could only feel the intense throbbing of youre swollen tired heat. Aizawa stroked hos paw down to youre back tracing over youre mark Shinso left you , you flinched and Aizawa ran his paw back up to youre hair repeating the process.

“You seem quiet incubator.” He gripped youre chin looking at youre empty bloody dirty face. You were lifeless. “Something on youre mind?”

You could hear him but you did not want to answer. You were too busy thinking about the next 9 months. What they would include .. and how they would play out. Aizawa pet youre head mocking you . “How does it feel? To know that this is youre life now. To know i own you. To know youre precious panther is not coming back for you.”

You wanted to cry.

Aizawa picked you up setting you next to him against a rock. The sudden shift in movement made you whine in agony . You did not want to move anymore, it hurt to much. You looked down at youre body . You had cuts on youre chest and stomach. You reached up to touch the bruises that covered youre arms and chest . The cuts stung and you could smell dried blood all over you. Gently you laid youre head against the rock and slowly rubbed youre stomach staring off at nothing.

“Think ill go find dinner for myself, dont go away now” he teased petting youre head before leaving you all alone at the den.

You prayed something would come by and kill you. Anything. Just end it.

You heard footsteps creeping towards you and you shut youre eyes. Hopfully whatever is coming will kill you , or eat you at least. You were picked up and placed over a fuzzy shoulder , you instantly felt a warmth against youre stomach and heat. The relief you were feeling was impossible to describe. You could feel youre heat start to relax and calm down . A cold paw was placed over youre heat causing you to jerk for a second. A small whimper of relief fell out of youre mouth .

“Shes a mess. Look at this.” He moved his cold paw to show Shinso and Chizome.

“Is she ruined?” Asked the wolf sniffing youre thighs.

“No, just needs a long rest and a bath...and no breeding for maybe a month.”

Was .. was that Shinso?!? He came back?!? You tried to look over youre should but every bit of movement ached.

“Take her to our other den Aizawa does not know about. Ill meet up with you”

It was him!!! He was coming to save you.

Shoto nodded and left with Chizome. You could see him once Shoto turned. He saw you reach out to him , Shinso nodded looking at the ground.

Aizawa returned awhile after chewing on a bone to see Shinso sitting on a rock and no incubator. He strolled over to Shinso sitting down next to him scanning around the empty den.

“So, where is she?”

“Far away from you.”

He purred leaning on Shinso’s shoulder whispering in his ear. “We both know you cant take me on alone Shinso.”

“I know that Aizawa.”

“And youre too scared to use youre quirk on me anyway. “ he wrapped his arm around the panthers shoulders pulling him close. “Oh Shinso, before i kill you. I want to tell you about how nice it was to once again, take youre kittens away from you”

“Yes, Aizawa.”

A low howl traveled to both their ears.

“Ah sounds like they made it , but ill get to that. Remember when i brought you with me once ? We left the jungle?”

“Yes..Aizawa.”

“That one you found was quite a looker, so beautiful, so innocent. You were sure she was the one for you. Do you remember what happened?”

Shinso looked over to the jungle watching the leaves shift in the wind , his ear twitched when he heard a growl . It sounded close.

“One morning, i was coming back with food for me and her . And i heard her moaning, and i found her under you begging you, to breed her.”

Aizawa laughed pulling Shinso closer . “Thats right huh?!? No matter what you do. They always come to me”

“Let go of me .” Shinso shook him off scooting away a tiny bit.

Aizawa stood up roaring and stretching. “Tell me where she is.”

“No.”

“Have it youre way.” Aizawa grabbed Shinso’s neck yanking him up to him.

Shinso stared blankly at Aizawa, he did not fight back. He seemed to be waiting for something. Aizawa stepped back slightly , scanning around the open area. Bakugo was close by on all fours creeping over. Aizawa had his back to him and he could see Shinso’s face, he twitched his nose and Bakugo started running with a big grin on his face . Aizawa sighed and his tale started to rise.

“Did you really think a surprise attack would work?”

“It wouldint?”

“N-“ Aizawa dropped Shinso . And his tale fell to his shoulders

He only had a couple minutes before Aizawa broke free. Bakugo tackled Aizawa with a grunt .

“Can i kill him?!? Let me kill him!!”

“Break his legs.”

“ hah?!?”

“Bakugo. Break his-“ the tape wrapped around Shinso’s leg dragging him away

Aizawa roared rolling over grabbing Bakugo , his eyes red. Bakugo shoved his paw in his face and nothing came out . Aizawa kicked Bakugo off him scrambling up to tackle him . Shinso looked back at the tap rubbing his head, he grabbed it biting into it breaking it . He rushed over to Bakugo to see him fighing and bloody. He pinned Aizawa down panting hard. He had a long scratch over her right eye down to his chin that was bleeding and one of his big white fangs was missing.

Aizawa struggled under Bakugo’s weight abd did not see Shinso come over. He picked up a rock and dropped it on Aizawa’s leg causing hin to scream out in pain. Bakugo spit blood at him stumbling off him fighting to stand up. He glanced down seeing a long gash across his paw. He hopped over to a nearby rock to nurse his paw while Shinso finished off Aizawa.

“She wont want you! Not after taking my cock , she will beg for mine!!!”

Shinso dropped another rock on Aizawa’s other leg watching him scream out in pain. “You..— illfinf — you. Ill find you!!!”

Shinso ignored the jaguar going over to Bakugo.

“Can you walk?”

“Yes i can walk!!!!” He pushed himself off the rock putting weight on his foot falling over.

“Fuck!!!” Roared the very angry lion

Shinso held his paw out and Bakugo swatted his paw away staring at the ground heaving hard. He glanced over to see Shinso had extended his paw again. He clicked his teeth grabbing the purple paw . Shinso yanked him up laying the lions paw over his shoulder . He walked away from the den leaving Aizawa to scream in pain.

“Thank you Bakugo.”

“Whatever!!! ... thank you for not leaving me to die.”

“Not a problem. Youre mane tickles.”

“Heh.. shut up. Stupid cat.”