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actualbird · 3 years ago

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Oh god!

I really love the poly headcanons they are so sweet.... (or don't but that's part of it and i think the tot boys+MC deserve all the love the world has to give).

But, liking it or not, our 4 beloved boys are kinda complicated (that's what makes them perfect). Plus I never thought about how people get in poly relationships. So i was thinking, how do you think they all get into a polyrelationship together?

(I really have no idea of how that would happen)

hi, two anons!! im glad you guys liked my nxx team polycule stuff!! i'll answer these in one go, my "headcanon" (in quotes because i think this kinda turned into a character analysis/minific of sorts HAHA) being what first anon asked, How They Get Together.

heads up, wc of this is 1.9k words long so buckle up for a bit of a read jfsjdfkjbf

because first anon, youre right!!! the boys are stupendously complicated which i love so so much but canon has also shown us clearly that each of the boys' quirks and habits and tendencies causes a lot of (mostly played for laughs) friction. the bickering, the backhanded insults, the "im the best one here" preening contests. theyre all SOOOO RIDICULOUS and it is hilarious but yep! the boys r complex!! and that means this beautiful ship, imo, has a lot of phases to get to the actual romantic relationship bit.

how they get together, in my opinion, starts because of mc.

not in the sense that she matchmakes them all, but like.

phase 1 of the nxx team polycule is this:

through being in love with her (which we all know the boys 100% are), each of the boys come to terms with their own flaws and weaknesses. it's very apparent to me in all the story thus far that these boys are flawed as hell, it's very compelling but even more compelling to me is how all of them also do intense mental gymnastics to Not Confront Those Flaws. like, marius is a dickbag always teasing and toeing the line of insincerity, vyn is a controlling mf who always tries to sway situations to his benefit, artem is so repressed to the point that he has genuine trouble with emotions, luke is a self sacrificial bastard and also a huge hypocrite about how no, actually, hes the only one that should be hiding his pain and being dishonest, no dishonesty from other people!! in the beginning of the story, all the boys have their flaws and seem to have just kinda...not addressed how those flaws are harming them and the people around them.

and then mc rolls around and they all fall in love with her. and she sees those flaws and she doesnt let them slide. she challenges the boys in her own ways to see another side of the situation, to acknowledge what theyre doing. she doesnt want to get rid of flaws, thats impossible and also not cool. she just has this beautiful hope for like, all of humanity, that goodness can prevail with the right work. so when she sees her beloved nxx boys, she believes that for them as well.

which leads to phase 2 of the nxx team polycule:

the boys, more aware of themselves, become more aware of each other.

they werent Unaware of the others of course. it's just that they didnt like...truly connect on a personal level just yet. they saw the other teammembers with their emotional armor and flaws and saw a wall that wasnt worth looking past.

but after mc makes them realize that hey, flaws arent the end of the world actually, it's alright and the person behind them may just be worth it, the boys like. end up understanding the others. A LOT OF THIS BIT IS UNINTENTIONAL, ON THEIR PARTS KJDSBFS. like they stumble into understanding each other by accident, they didnt plan it, but over the course of nxx investigations, it's inevitable that they end up seeing the depths of the others. i delve into this a little bit in my fanfic "filler eps of the lost gold" where the boys are just going thru their actions and then trip over another boy's fears or desires and through that, gain a deeper understanding mutually.

and with understanding, sometimes, comes trust.

phase 3 of the nxx team polycule goes like this:

everybody in this team, whether they like it or not, whether they know it or not, has a heart that wants to give love so desperately.

marius lives in a world full of snakes so he cant have his heart on his sleeve for his own protection. vyn wants to be seen as perfect and the heart is inherently messy so he holds it back. artem for a very very long time was focused on work and success and achievement that he neglected his heart. and luke has been giving love all his life in a sense but in a way thats hidden.

all these tendencies that are brought upon their life circumstances results in this: they want to love honestly but they havent been able to do this

until mc. and all of them want to push back whatever fears or patterns their life has instilled in them because they see her and see somebody so unwaveringly good that all their hearts begin giving love to her to make her happy and to make themselves happy as well.

but heres the thing. the boys dont just see mc. by this point, they have connected and understood and come to trust each other as well, and the consequence of that is that They Can See Each Other Now Too, Truly.

and heres the thing. all of the boys are unwaveringly good as well.

one by one, each of the boys realize that what they feel for the other boys in the team starts to...change. yeah theyre all friends, they pick on each other a lot of the time, but the bedrock of the relationship is solid and strong now. but when marius is with luke, marius sees a light inside of luke so bright that he seems unaware that he gives off. when artem is with vyn, artem sees a goodness inside of vyn that hesitates to make itself obvious and known because vyn is scared of getting hurt thanks to it. all of them see the other and their goodness and, unbidden, their hearts want to give love to each other as well.

and because theyre all a bit stupid in their own way theyre like, huh, weird! wonder why this feeling is so familiar! and yet i cant seem to name it...and then they all independently compare these feeling with the feelings they have for mc, a feeling they do know the name of, and theyre like.

WAIT.

THESE FEELINGS ARE...VERY BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT I FEEL FOR MC.

which only means one thing: theyve fallen in love with everybody else

marius: //goes to his studio to Think and sees that a bunch of his recent art actually had little crumbs of these feelings already, etched into the brushstrokes and scenes. has an emotional crisis about it

vyn: //records a 1 hour long entry in his audio diary to examine and gain control of his feelings but by the end of the hour all he knows is that he wants to hold these people and be held by them

artem: //quite literally just bluescreens, artem.exe has stopped working, sits at his study and slowly, slowly, thunks his head down onto his desk, valiantly trying to ignore the fast pulse of his heart

luke: //manically vents about it to peanut who, by virtue of being a bird, doesnt get it. just keeps talking at peanut to get a grasp of it all and then lies down on the floor, overwhelmed

mc, sitting in her apartment watching some netflix: ...why do i inexplicably feel as if something very, very important has just happened?

phase 4 of the nxx team polycule is basically:

pining: extreme difficulty level

because pining is already hard when ur pining for one person. what more for an additional 3 more people. and those additional 3 more people are pining back.

and all these boys are SOOOO OBVIOUS with their romantic feelings, in their own special way. the way they show their affection to mc starts to bleed into their interactions with the others and everybody can CLEARLY SEE WHAT IS GOING ON, LOL, but also all the boys are too chickenshit to confront it, because if they confront it, what will even happen??? being in love with each other, all of them, thats going to be such a complicated fucking relationship, holy shit. it's 2030, yeah, being a polyamorous group relationship isnt completely unheard of, but sue them, theyre scared.

but mc (who i forgot to mention already knows of the boys' romantic feelings for her, shes just hasnt made a move yet on any of them because SHES IN LOVE WITH ALL OF THEM AS WELL and shes been trying to figure out how the hell to make that work, she cant bear to choose just one of them, she'd be heartbroken over leaving the rest of them behind) sees that the nxx investigation team is now all pining for each other FULLY and she kinda wants to laugh when she realizes whats going on because like, what are the chances? that this would happen? that they all found each other and their feelings fell into just the right place for nobody to be left behind?

theyre all scared, she can tell. and she is as well, she wont lie.

but shes always had a belief that goodness can prevail with the right work.

and love is one of the greatest goods out there.

phase 5 of the nxx team polycule:

It's Time For Communication, Baby!!!!!

the exact scenes of how this happens is a bit vague to me. it could go two ways: mc going to each of the boys independently to talk about feelings, hers about everybodys and his about everybodys as well. OR they have a fucking meeting about it all together and artem literally schedules it in his google calendar, or something.

either way, they like, actually talk about this. starts casual, maybe over a chill date, maybe over dinner at a nice restaurant, maybe over a walk in the park as the sun is starting to set. but where ever it happens, the end result is the same: a heart is laid out bare and it is taken in gentle, grateful hands.

marius: OKAY, NOW THAT THE FEELINGS ARE OUT OF THE WAY, CAN I PLEASE KISS ONE OR ALL OF YOU, PLEASE, IVE BEEN WANTING TO KISS U GUYS FOR FOREVER

vyn, laughing fondly: has anybody ever told you patience is a virtue? we quite literally just talked it all out.

marius: //needy whining noises

artem, embarrassed: ive...never kissed anybody before

luke, embarrassed but trying to play it Cool: ....same here

mc: kissing is great, you two will love it!

marius: awesome, awesome, so is ANYBODY going to give me a go ahead or WHAT????

phase 6 of the nxx team polycule:

i dont want to say it's happily ever after, once they all get together. thats not really realistic.

they all have their quirks and tendencies and habits. and those will inevitable clash against each other. theyll have their arguments, theyll get upset, theyll sulk and be angry, sometimes. but also...

theyll see each other smile and feel like their love shining so brightly. theyll reach out for another's hand and be held in such a way that makes them think that their heart is in a safe place. theyll love each other and theyll put in the work to continue loving each other. because goodness will prevail.

and they all see each other as the most good people in the world.

so whatever happens, theyll get through it together.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #marius von hagen #tears of themis rosa #artem wing

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liesoverthec · 3 years ago

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Hey !! So I hope my previous ask didn’t come off as me saying I think buddie would turn out corny because they are a mlm ship, because that definitely isnt the case (although I totally understand the gender roll thing in lgbt relationships and how that makes couples come off) ! And agree with you that bathena, maddie/chim and henren are all beautifully written couples and that the writers do a great job with them. I think more of my concern with buddie is the proximity with which they interact with each other at work and how it might change if they become canon. For example, bathena and maddie/chims jobs overlap, but they don’t work with each other which allows them space to have their own stories, I guess. And we get scenes where they develop the relationship at work (like the ep last season where athena went into the building to save bobby, or the dispatch hostage episode). But because they have separate jobs its not all the time, so the characters are allowed to grow in the relationship but also outside of it. But eddie and buck are very well established as partners and I just worry that there would be blurred lines between work life and home life and given the fact that theres not really a strong comparable on 911 (closest would be bathena) and my distrust in network tv in general I guess that just makes me a little wary? And then I also think the way the other couples were clearly developed as romantic while buddie’s development so far has been more platonic/familial (once again imo - completely understand if ppl view their development differently) that it makes it hard for me to see how they would write buddie as a couple because I personally feel like writers haven’t written “romantically” for them yet, so I dont know what their romantic take on buddie would be. but on the other hand if they canon and their interactions remain mostly the same as they are now then thats great! I just personally cant picture it well (also like you said, maybe fanfic has a role in that too haha)

Hi anon, sorry I held onto to this for a little bit! (For anyone curious, the first ask is here)

Okay so I'm gonna start with your second concern first - bc actually you're wrong! Of the couples, only Henren was really MEANT to be together. Originally Eddie and Maddie were going to be a couple, so Madney was a shift, and Bathena was DEFINITELY not meant to be together (idk if you remember but they took a swing at Bobby/Abby first even). Going back to my relationship data, Bobby and Athena only had 12 interactions together in the entire first season (aka only 12 of 314 interactions total, so only 3.82% of the entire season had them together. Only 4 of those interactions were the two of them alone, and all 4 of them came from eps 9 and 10 so only 1.27% of the entire season was the two of them together). Plus Peter Krause has mentioned before that he didn't know he'd be married to Angela on show when they started. So when you say Bathena was developed to be romantic (as opposed to Buddie in particular), you're dead wrong! The romance actually came AFTER they got together. Which goes to show that they're capable of pulling a loving, convincing relationship out of a hat on a dime just because. So your worry there is totally actually based on completely wrong evidence.

As for your other point regarding their jobs, here's the thing. The incredibly simple solution to your worry about them blurring the lines between work and home is them having stories with people other than each other. And honestly - they're doing that already, particularly with Buck. Buck already spends copious amounts of time with his sister and Chim, and has stories related directly to his relationships with them, and not his relationship with Eddie. So they can just ... keep doing that. And Eddie has plenty of openings for the same thing (since I'm assuming you're worried that his stories with Christopher would be absorbed into Buck's) - he has two younger sisters, if he and Buck got together there's PLENTY of room for a story with his parents, hell it doesn't even have to be bc he's dating a man that he has issues with his parents, he could talk to Hen about queer identity, he could have an Army buddy come to town, it's all there. I can think of a million things they could write for both Buck and Eddie that have nothing to do with each other, and some of them are really, REALLY compelling - so I'm not really sure why you think the writers wouldn't be open to exploring those. They developed David as his own person w his own character outside of who he was with Michael, and he wasn't even a main! David was absolutely the side piece, in terms of the show. So I'm not really sure why you think the writers would do that for David and just ... not extend the same courtesy to Buck and Eddie, whom are infinitely more important to the writers as individuals than David.

Also - the thing is, most of the Buddie scenes where they're at work, aren't Buddie scenes. Things like Buck mentioning the telenovelas Eddie watches this week isn't actually a Buddie scene, they're talking about Toni and Clive and Hen, and they just happen to connect to one another during that. Which is a thing that happens between ALL the characters on this show all the time. So your worry that their work lives will always be about each other is something you're probably just viewing completely through a Buddie lens. They can have stories outside of work together, and still be together at work, and things they do that WE think are solely about their relationship won't really be. And it's okay that we see that, but it's also important to acknowledge that at moment, they're just two participants in a conversation about someone else's life. Not everything will be about them, bc rn now not everything they do is.

So I really think all your worries are unfounded, and I reiterate my statement that it's important to get to see them together BEFORE the finale, bc I know they're going to be treated right!

#asked and answered #anon answer time #buddie #seriously though #they're basically already in a relationship #they ask each other for advice on their personal lives ALL THE TIME #so im p sure the amount of them we see talking to each other REALLY isn't going to change at all #i sort of feel anon #that you're coming at this from a pov where you're trying to think of reasons it shouldn't happen #so that you're not disappointed when it doesn't #which... isn't really something i approve of as a general stance #besides the fact that i don't see a solid base to any of your worries 😂

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pokefanclaire · 3 years ago

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London Tourist

Hello! I’m so new to this but I have another Lucifendi ship fanfic (don’t judge me too harshly) Also I don’t own any rights to the game, or characters its purely my weird thoughts. So this one is about a visiter that will come to London, and the Commissioner has asked Lucy to be his tour guide but Alfendi gets jealous and mutual pining happens. Pretty tame but please let me know what I'm doing as its all so new! Any advice would be greatly recieved.

London Tourist:

Lucy quietly knocked onto the commissioners office door startling him from an unexpected evening nap.

“Ah Lucy my dear, take a seat. Thank you for coming to see me at such short notice. The matter I want to share with you is of a personal nature. So please excuse that I have chosen you specifically”

Lucy suddenly felt uneasy.

“I have a friend, a very dear friend of mine who’s son will be coming to London for a few days and I was hoping you would be kind enough to show him around London. Inspector Layton will be able to maintain the cases for you while you’re away. I would like you to do this as a favour to me personally so all expenses will be covered by me. Is that clear my dear. I have had my assistant book tickets for some interesting plays, tours and visits that I believe will interest a couple of like minded youths as yourselves?”

“sounds grand sir”

she beamed at the commissioner thankful her unease was unwarranted.

“His name is Eric, he is your age I believe possibly a year older. I’m certain you’ll get along very well. He will be a calm and welcome change from your changeable mentor.”

“I look forward to meeting ‘im”

Lucy felt very proud that out of all her colleagues she had been chosen to show the commissioners dear friend’s son around London.

“thank you Lucy, that will be everything. And I thank you for rising to the challenge of tour guide” He chuckled as Lucy skipped toward to door. ‘What a sweet and generous girl’.

“Night Commissioner! Thanks agai’”

“Good night.”

Lucy ran back to the Mystery room hoping her mentor would still be around to hear her ‘mission’. Opening the door Lucy was greeted by an exhausted placid Prof stretched out on the sofa with case files scattering the dimly lit room

“Lucy dear! You’re still here.”

“I’ve jus’ finished speaking with th’ commissioner”

“ah yes, of course. Sorry Lucy I momentarily lost track of myself. Are you about to embark on a solo mission? Can you tell me any details or is it on a need to know basis?”

Alfendi chuckled toward Lucy, adoring the pride on her face.

“oh it’s nowt like that Prof, its a personal favour the commissioner would like me to do for his good friend. He wants me to take care of his friend’s son while he visits London”

Alfendis eyes shot up to meet hers “He?”

“yea, some lad a similar age to me. Eric I think it wer’”

“…and…. you said yes?”

“’course Prof, I cant let him down. Besides I don’ have no reason to turn him down”

“……. oh”

“you can ‘elp if you like? You know London better than anyone ‘ere at Scotland yard. I still feel like a tourist”

“...doubt he’ll want to see the London eye once he sets eyes on you dear Lucy...” his voice suddenly sounded bitter as a streak of crimson hair washed over his head.

“Um hi Potty, I wasn’t expecting you this late in the evening”

Alfendi’s eyes were hidden under crimson dishevelled hair making it hard to read his expression but a smirk pulled at the edge of his smile.

“Just fine my dear Lucy, and yes I would be thrilled to guide you when my schedule allows. In fact i’m quite free now”

“We can wait for Eric. He will arrive tomorrow afternoon some time, and I have ‘is number here”

Potty Prof strode toward Lucy unexpectedly grabbing her wrists.

“In that case, now is the very best time to show you the city before any corruption. Don’t you agree dear Baker?”

His grip worsened on her now pink wrists. Before she could register the twinge of pain, Alfendi had pulled her forward sending her tumbling into his chest.

“Clumsy girl” he sneered. “falling for me are you my dear Lucy?”

Lucy looked up, unable to process the last few exchange of words.

“sto’ messin’ with me Potty”

Alfendi towered over her, a streak of red flashed across his cheeks as he crouched to meet her eyes.

“I haven't started yet my dear, now please collect your belongings. I really must show you what London can do to you before Eric has the chance”

‘Did I hear that ‘ight? Is he jealous of some lad I haven't even met seeing London wi’ me?’ Lucy had never seen her mentor like this. Lucy had regular run ins with Potty Prof, that wasn't new. But she was sure he had some new found venom in his voice while pronouncing his name too...

Lucy struggled to keep up with Alfendi’s new speed and determination to leave the mystery room.

“Baker! Come on!”

a desperate sounding Alfendi held his hand out to take Lucy’s. Pulling her from the room he fumbled with keys, hastily locking the Mystery room.

“I’ll get the commissioner for this.. I swear….” he snarled under her breath to no one in particular.

Alfendi took a deep breath “Lucy dear….” He held out a slightly trembling hand to her “….please allow me to…show you….what i’ve longed to… for some time… but if I can just....” He stumbled as flashes of burgundy replaced the crimson red of his hair “.. accompany you this evening” he finished by kissing the back of her hand.

“Prof? Are ya ok?”

“Yes dear, I just wish I had more time than fate has decided to grant me, more time so that… I could show you both sides.. and how… he is all bark.. he wouldn't hurt her....”

Alfendi’s train of conversation trailed off as he began muttering to himself. Or his other side she thought.

“prof if ya sure its not an inconvenience. Then lets go! Where first?”

Splashes of red and dishevelled hair gave Lucy a small jump.

“oh hi Potty! Where to first?”

“Baker, dear Baker...” He whispered in a sultry tone forcing her to take a step backwards.

“Why don’t we start here?”

Alfendi increased his steps toward Lucy.

Lucy instinctively stepped back matching his speed knowing how unpredictable Potty could be. Her wrists let out a twang of pain reminding her of his last practical joke on her. ‘You’re tougher than this Lucy lass’ she encouraged herself ‘He’s your Prof, he wont ‘urt you’ she glanced left and right in blind panic looking for an escape. Alfendi cupped her chin with his hand bringing her wide eyes to meet his. ‘Don’t panic’ Lucy thought as she acknowledged Pottys hand on her chin, softer and gentler than she expected. A rush of heat rose to her cheeks as she breathed in that familiar scent of her beloved Prof ‘Why now Potty? always keeping me on my toes’ an audible groaned slipped past her lips as she felt his heated breath against her lips

“Potty?...”

She took a step back to gain some distance.

THUD.

Lucy’s back met with the wall.

“yes dear?….”

Alfendis hand slid down her chin, caressing the soft skin of her neck.

“you know Baker, I wanted more time… This little situation with Eric has meant I have had to adapt to time constraints” he took a final step closer to Lucy closing the distance between them

“…..will you forgive me if I act at all un-gentelmanly under these circumstances….”

He lowered his hands to meet hers, lifting them above her head in one fast and smooth motion.

“….Prof? What’ got into ya all sudden like”

Lucy’s hands struggled against Alfendi’s but he was taller, stronger and currently sporting his darker persona.

“this aint some time to joke ya kno’ Prof ya said ya were gonna show me London before Eric arrives”

Alfendi leaned into her neck, his breath uneven and franticagainst her ear.

All the hair on the back of her neck rose as waves of electricity seemed to shoot down from her now numb arms held above her head. The comforting smell of Alfendi filled her head and she bit down on her bottom lip letting out a small squeal.

“I said i’d show you what I… I mean London can do to you..”

“Please Prof my arms.. they hurt a little”

Crimson hair flashedto deep burgundy as he let go on Lucy’s arms.

“Lucy, please forgive me, are you in pain? Are you okay.. please forgive me...us?”

Alfendi nuzzled his face into her neck not wishing to meet her eyes and confirm what he already knew.. that he had blown any future chance with his sweet Lucy. he spoke softly.

“Please Lucy, its me I wont hurt you. I’m so sorry”

“Prof...”

“Lucy?”

Alfendi took a cautious step back and forced himself to meet with her rubyred eyes. Lucy stared into the Prof’s soft amber eyes, taking in the look of embarrassment and hurt that marked his face.

Alfendi scanned her face in a panic searching for clues to her expression was she upset? Scared? no. thats not it. A soft glow of red spread across her cheeks intensifying the ruby red of her beautiful eyes.

“Prof, my ‘ands were numb is all. Dont fret, I aint hurt”

Alfendi studied her face with desperate closeness causing Lucy to blush brighter with fresh heat flooding to her cheeks

“Prof please...”

she stifled a moan by biting down on her own lip wincing.

“Lucy dear…I cant begin to…”

“Prof’.Al......”She paused “Alfendi. I was never in any danger..not from you.”

An unfamiliar serious expression marked Lucy’s sweet face as she matched Alfendi’s closeness causing him to take a step back.

“wasn’t there something important you wanted to do to me Alfendi...?”

#lucifendi #alfendi layton #lucy x alfendi #alfendi #lucy baker #mystery room #layton brothers mystery room

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blake-belladonna-defence-force · 4 years ago

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It's the ✨annoying little shit✨ again

The Gremlin anon😺

Here is the ✨update✨ with what happend ✨yesterday night✨ and also ✨today morning✨

So, after I wrote my roommates conversation with Miss oh honey, I started reading it and

MY GOD!!! GIVE ME A BREAK FROM THE GAY!!!

I'M NOT USED TO THIS KIND OF CONSERN FROM SOMEONE!!! IT'S SO FUCKING ADORABLE!!!

I'M GONNA PASS OUT OF GAY OVERDOSE!!!

I wanna kiss my roommate so bad ;-;

BUT I'M TOO SHY FOR THAT!!!

But before I could panic even more, Miss oh honey gets in (I was in my roommates room because it's bigger than mine since we agreed to sleep together) and asks with big grin on her face "How ya doin?"

"Gay- Gay panic"

"Oh honey you need to make a move soon or roommates name won't handel it"

"What do you mean?"

"Honey you know that they are conserned about you and already doing that ugly sad kitten face"

"I don't think it's ugly"

"Of course you don't, you love roommates name! But now, take my advice and make a bloody move! I WANT PROGRESS IN MY SHIP"

Before I could say anything she got away and shortly after my roommate got back and didn't notice I was there

I was coverd in their blankets like a cotton ball with only my head slightly out, and for the face my roommate was doing they were in auto pilot mode

They literally started changing in front of me

And did I say anything? No cause PANIC

I COULDN'T STOP LOOKING!!!!

I TRIED TO OPEN MY MOUTH TO SPEAK BUT THERE WAS NO SOUND!!!! I COULDN'T AND I FELT LIKE A PERVERT FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK AWAY!!! I FELT SO BAD ABOUT MYSELF!!!

BUT THANKS TO JESUS AND HOLY MOTHER I GOT CONTROL OVER MY HANDS AND COVERD THE REST OF MY HEAD WITH BLANKETS BEFORE MY ROOMMATE TOOK OUT THEIR PANTS!!!

(I could only see their back since they were turned around BUT if they took their pants off... I don't want more panic and gay thoughts so I wont think about it)

As I evolved into a full white ball of blankets I felt a tap on the blankets. I got my head out and I saw my roommate only with a fucking top on, but with a really sofh expression that made me melt

IT WAS SO CUTE!!! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!!

But while I panicked they started laughing and saying that I looked like a cute tiny fluff ball

I never blushed so must for a laugh and a compliment, that laugh was music, I want more ;-;/

FUCKING KISS ME ALREADY!!!

But as I keep staring without being able to say anything they grafmdualy stoped laughing and started looking conserned/sad (sad kitty face here we go again) and then they look down and finally notice they are only with a top on and then they say "oh- sorry" and put a shirt on

BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE QUIET THIS TIME AND I WILL SAY SOMETHING

And what I said was "Nice"

Just that... WHY ON HELL DIDN'T I SAY SOMETHING ELSE!?!? WHY GOD??? WHYYYYY!!!!??

But before I died of embaressment they asked "Nice what?"

"You are nice- I mean- I just- You are nice to me! You always have been since the beggining and uuhh... I just- I don't want you to be sad or- or think you are a jerk just because I got embaressed in the kitchen and uuhh-"

"Wait, how do you know about me thinking that?"

"I- I could hear you two talking"

"shit"

And this when I finally notice how hard blushing!!! Were they that embaressed? But before I could jump into conclusions I rembered Miss oh honeys advice abd asked "Uh- glup Why are you so worried about me?"

Looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read and said "It's cause- sigh You've already been through so much... You deserve to at least be confortable in your own house, to have a safe place to yourself... Don't you think?"

I just- Give me second I need to CRY MY EYES OUT!!! WHY ARE TOU SO CUTE!?!? WHY!!!?? WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!???

*incoherent gay gremlin noises*

I didn't notice I was crying until my roommate, with a very conserned voice, asks "Are you ok!? Why are you crying!?"

I kept sobbing until the picked me up, with blankets and all, and hugged me tight

I NEVER FELT SO GAY WITH JUST A HUG!!! IT WAS SO SAFE AND WARM!!!

I MELTED!!! I'M NOW A GAY GREMLIN JELLY!!!

At a certant point they layed down with me and cuddled me. I felt so tiny but yet so loved, it was so good and safe ;w;

Is this what real actually good relationships feel like? Cause I love it ;w;

I'M GAYING SO MUCH OVER THIS!!!

And before we went to sleep, my roommate wiped my tears and said "Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you're hella strong"

"snif What do you mean?"

"I mean- I still about that time I saw you knocking out a guy, that was built like a greek god, twice your sise, in front of our door step!"

"Oh that- that was just-"

"Was just hella impressive!!! I ALMOST DROPED MY FOOD!!!"

THIS IDIOT MAKES ME CRY AND THEN LAUGH AND FEEL HELLA GAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!! don't GIVE ME A BREAK!!! I NEED TO REST!!! And that's actually what I said to them, but more like this

"Jesus Crist- Look, let's sleep already before I pass out" AND MANAGE TO SOUND FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT IT!!!

It was because I was really tired

BUT STILL COUNTS AS A VICTORY!!!

So, after I said that, my roommate nods in aproval and fucking kisses me in the forehead

WHAT'S WITH YOU AND MY FOREHEAD!!!??

Anyway, we fell asleep and this morning when I woke up, first thing I do is check tumbler, and when I get there I see shitlords ask about gremlin-fever and the gremlin in back of my head is like pspspsps do iittt

After I send that ask about giving permition for you to use my story as a fanfic I put my phone back in the table, roll over, and PROCEED TO HAVE A FUCKING HEAR ATTACK!!!

THAT DORK ON HAS SHORT AND A TOP COVERING THEM!!! IT'S FUCKING FREEZING OUTSIDE THE BED BUT THEY ARE BOILING!!! LITERAL VOLCANO TEMPERATURE!!!

I'm starting to think that shitlord anon was right about the fevor in a literal way...

BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST!!!! THE FACT THAT I CAN FEEL EVERY INCH OF SKIN IN THEIR BODY!!!

But them I look down and see their arms around me AND FUCKING HELL HOW STRONG IS THIS BITCH!?!?!

I probably panicked for and hour or so before I realize... I CAN TOUCH IT

I now I'm the volcano!!! But when I start touching their belly OUT OF GAY CURIOSITY

THEY OPENED THEIR EYES AND ASK "What are you doing?"

WHAT DO I ANWSER TO THAT!!!??? I CANNOT JUST SAY I WAS TOUTCHING YOU OUT OF GAY PANIC

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A BETTER EXCUSE THAN THAT!!!

So, as an intellectual, I said "I- I was j-just c-curious to know how it f-feels to touch it"

"You were curious to know how it feels to touch other persons abs?"

"Well... Yeah b-but not- Not, like- I'm inocent I swear!!!"

They started laughing at me and got closer, and with their fucking casualty say "You can it I don't mind, you're inocent after all"

I WANNA DIG A HOLE AND HIDE!!! YE GODS ABOVE HELP ME!!!

But I remberem shitlords anon little tip, and actually got the courage to kiss their forehead. The moment I kiss tgeir forehead they stop laughing and blankly stare at me for a solid minute, BUT THIS TIME I'M GONNA BE THE ONE TEASING BITCH, so I said what shitlord anon said "I was just checking your temperature, you look like you might have a fever"

I MANAGED TO HAVE COURAGE TO SAY THAT WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A DYING SQUIRREL!!!!

IT'S REVENGE FOR MY ENDLESS PANICS!!!

They didn't even say anything anymore, they just nooded, IT WAS PRICELESS!!!

But then, Miss oh honey opens the door saying "GOOD MORNING LOVE BIR- Oh- Am I interupting something?"

We both just stare and since she cant se if we have clothes or not due to the blankets she does a shit-eating-grin and says "Oh- Sorry to interrupt your bonding time~ I will let you continue~ giggles"

I DIED RIGHT THERE!!!

But my roommate was FUCKING PISSED

They got out of bed and started chasing her, screaming her name in pure rage!!

And I stayed in the room... Looking at the ceiling... Thinking about my life choices...

BUT PLEASE CAN SOMEONE SEND HELP

I need it ;-;

IT'S TOO MUCH GAY PANICS!!!! HELP!!!

And also, Miss oh honey is gonna sleep here today, cause aparently one of her neighbors has covid, and his wife texted everyone that he is coming back from the hospital so he can rest home (cause the hospitals are all full and he is not having trouble with the desease), like, he got positive a month ago, and Miss oh honey went for test and got negative, she stayed at home for a while to make sure she was okay, and since her covid neighbor wasn't at home with is family cause ge stayed in the hospital (and none of is family has covid, fortunatly)

So, baisically shes gonna stay for while...

Hope ya'll have a nice day/afternoon/evening/night

- gay panic Gremlin anon

Holy shit— you go, Gremlin anon! I don’t think I’ve ever been this proud of a stranger before in my life 😂

Y’all are too cute and I’m dying. Good luck with your roommate and your wingwoman Miss “oh honey”, Gremlin anon xD

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gringolet · 3 years ago

Note

that italian?

okay okay okay i think it happened long enough ago that i can dish about the drama. she changed her url and im not including it anyway so its fine.

prepare for a fuckin. essay in responss to a TWO WORD ask but anyay

so once upon time there was an italian who hated children and loved reylo. she also hung out in the arthuriana tag and got a bunch of asks about it. so one day some poor anon comes in and asks if she has any trans headcanons for arthurian characters, and she, instead of being a normal person and saying like, no, she goes off about how trans characters in fanfic is forced representation and she cant talk about trans people bc surgery is triggering for her.

found this in the archives lol. so i rbd politely explaining that while it was fine to not have trans hcs, her justifications for it were a little offensive.

hey i dont want to start discourse or anything but i see ur asks in the tag a lot and i wanted to politely address this. firstly obviously no one is under any obligation to hc things, and headcanons and fandom is not activism. if you’d just said “no, not really” it would b fine. i mean, cringe of u, but fine. but u make a couple of points here i want to look at a bit critically. then there is “I don’t like when headcanons are pushed up as ~representation, especially when… Ehm, it’s just fandom stuff?” i dont want to misinterpret you or put words in your mouth, but the implication that theres no need for trans rep in fandom and dismissal of that is a very cis take. My initial read of your intention there was a complaint of ‘why should something like fandom spaces, which are for fun and not serious, be filled with non fun serious (bad) trans stuff that i have to see when im trying to enjoy myself.’ now that could be incorrect, you were a bit vague here. if that is what you meant, i think you maybe should examine why you feel that way. if it isnt, im unclear on what exactly youre trying to say here. the idea that trans hcs are performative wokeness and “representation” in fandom is completely ignoring the actual trans people making and wanting them. there is so vanishingly little representation of trans people in actual media and even less thats good, and i think implying trans hcs are being pushed on people and fandom for, ~representation (a world of meaning in the ~ i shant speculate on) is very dismissive and ignorant of that fact. honestly the main thing im troubled by is the idea that trans bodies are inherently disgusting and triggering, which is an incredibly harmful and hurtful idea, and since you yourself acknowledge that trans people and hcs dont predicate surgery i question why you bring it up, except as a justification for disconfort rooted in unexamined prejudice. im not accusing you of being a terf or anything, i dont believe you meant harm by this or have bad intentions, and im definitely not saying anyone has to hc anything. it was the uncomfronted insidiousness of your justification that concerned me. this is not a personal attack at all, you just have a lot of influence in this fandom space and i wanted to make you aware of some of the surely accidentally harmful things ur saying.

so she flips out and rbs that yelling at me and cursing me out in italian (she moved blogs so i dont have her whole response just bits)

basically she completely derailed the original topic and accused me of calling her a horrible person for her triggers? which i never did and would never do, and then tried to make it a wierd anti v proshipper thing

third: I never said there’s no need of trans hcs in fandoms, BUT I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency of condemning people on the basis of what they ship / the dynamics they write. ( like the infinite discourse about how ‘I ship only mlm enemies to lovers because f/m enemies to lovers are Inherently Bad and Abusive - something I personally heard on Twitter sigh ), so I feel the need to say it. blame the current fandom climate.

and were like wow, this lady is unhinged, so we look around her blog and find a. a lot of stuff like saying its racist to not like incest?? and that italians arent white?? also shes a swerf?? and kind of deniel italian colonialsm? and reblogs from a bunch of out and out terfs} there was more but this isnt a callout post lol.

valentine lanzelet made a post about this crazy italian we found and she flipped out on him (this is one of several cursey italian tag rants)

roughly means: GO SHIT YOURSELF (italian alternative to go fuck you), RACIST TERF IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN A WHEELBARROW (italian saying which does not translate well) AND WHAT HAS ITALIAN COLONIALISM TO DO WITH THIS YOU UGLY SHIT, and anyways lancelot sucks

(translated by claudio beheaded)

anyway so then. and this is when it gets unhinged. she goes on this server me and a lot of my mutuals n friends r in, camelot, and starts complaining about me.

(in red is the server admin, who was lovely) i asked her to move this convo to dms if she must bc it was rude to bring drama into the server, and she refused, and started insisting that she was being bullied and just wanted to be left alone, so i was like okay lets all block each other and move on, and she refused, continuing to defend everything she was being criticized for

they also said claudio was making them look bad by translating their rants which like... queen if that made them look bad they were already a bad look.

so she keeps pinging people and replying to shit despite everyone else at this point begging her to just drop it and call it a stalemate

imagine this but around n around for like an hour. also she repeatedly got me and valentine confused it was super funny. also she claimed it was an invasion of her privacy for valentine to go on her public blog and look at the things she openly said and rbd there

so the server got put in slow mode and she KEPT GOING even though everyone was just begging her to stop and not even responding

as u can see, around this point we just started spamming her with emoji reactions. she announced she was leaving then went back to arguing a full three times before finally dipping from the server

then she continued complaining about us and calling us puriteens in her tags (trying to make it a proshipper v anti thing i guess lol?)

for literally months before finally remaking. also in that time she got in an argument about how the crusades were fine actually. italianphobia works hard but she works harder i guess

anyway i prolly left out a lot but thats the italian saga

#cw discourse #i guess?#conflict anyway #if any involved have funny things to add go ahead

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inuitakumi · 4 years ago

Note

002 BinQui <3

LETS FUCKING GO BINGQIU HOURS

when of if I started shipping it:

i mean i’d see a lot of art of miss mxtx’s main couples so i kinda went into scum villain already shipping them??

my thoughts:

tbh this is an ongoing problem w/ tunglr dot net but i feel like ppl can be kinda bad at reading into them and especially thinking that sqq doesnt love lbh back. like i wouldnt say its FLAWLESSLY done but as we know without even reading back in the novel i could pick several moments where sqq truly cared abt lbh and wasnt just doing shit out of pity.

What makes me happy about them:

they are both so fucking stupid i love them

What makes me sad about them:

kings i love you but wine enemas are Not It

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

a lot of people have a loooooooot of trouble with binghe’s character. like they don’t seem to know how exactly to balance crybaby and ‘i literally do not give a shit about anyone else’ and he always seems to be off. actually wtf is it w/ people and being bad at writing the mxtx gongs in fanfic

things I look for in fanfic:

imma be real with you i mostly read bingqiu porn bc whenever i try to read gen fic the issues of ppl having No Idea How To Write Binghe shine through a lot worse

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

idk about binghe but i’m also very fond of sqq/lqg and wouldnt have minded that as a ship either. i think mxtx always makes the gong way to devouted to the shou that i always have a hard time seeing them with anyone else lmfao (tho tbh i cant actually think of an alt ship for xl now that i think abt it. tho there was that time dutch and i twisted around wei changze/xie lian aldskfjladsj)

My happily ever after for them:

domestic bliss where binghe finally learns how to use his heavenly sky pillar

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

just from guessing of lbh being the more tactile one i’d guess he’s big spoon by pure virtue of making sqq cuddle him klasdjflkajs

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

just sort of....being in the same room? like i can see lbh cooking or cleaning up while sqq does paperwork or naps. if not that then you know doing night hunt/taking care of spirits or demons sort of thing

#the-evil-pizza

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mousehole5000 · 4 years ago

Text

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

#minors dni #reading this is weird its like wow this is pretty great actually im having a blast #and then there's these moments that are like...... hmmmm.#idk they havent been awful i just think theyre :/#still funny tho ill give it that #tgcf liveblog

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swellwriting · 5 years ago

Text

Datapads and Love Letters Pt.3

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Reader x Armitage Hux

Warnings: Smut yet again because I have no self-control.

Request: Please write a part 3 to the Hux fanfic. Maybe one of Kylo being jealous and trying to dissuade the reader from being with Hux.

A/N: Serving you some more Hux and some more Kylo, all in one! I roll a three-sided dice to decide whether to call him Hux, General or Armitage so I’m sorry for that business. ALSO lots of I-N-T-I-M-A-C-Y-!!!

Word Count: 2.5k Previous Part Two Part 4

Sunberry red wine stains his pale lips making them somehow look even more kissable. You take the wine glass from his hand, finish it and then place it on the floor outside the tub, bubbles drip onto the black tile, white iridescence contrasting smooth black. You’re sitting on top of him, a site he can’t comprehend, so beautiful and intimate and he still thinks this is some fever dream.

You lean against him, wrap your arms behind his neck and kiss him, he tastes like the sunberries, you prod his mouth open with your tongue, wanting more.

The bath started normal, sitting with your back pressed against him, relaxing. But now you were careless about the splashing bubbles and puddles on the floor tile, moving against him without care as you kissed him, noses butting.

You keep messing up the kiss, your mouth breaking into a smile until you cant keep focus and just giggle against his mouth. He’s concerned at first, he doesn't understand what’s so funny.

“What?” he asks quietly, smiling too now against your lips, happy to hear your cute laughter.

“Nothing I’m just, just happy, this is fun I’m having fun,” you say trying to explain your self. Hux thinks for a moment that his heart has stopped, he can’t handle so much pure goodness, the adoration in your eyes and voice is too much. He leans forward, you’re still sat in his lap as he rests his forehead against your collarbones and chest, his hair tickling your chin as you rest it on his head.

He kisses in between your breasts, wet skin meets his lips, kisses become sloppy, the taste of wine on his tongue stronger than the soapy bubbles on your skin.

His hands travel to your hips and you know what he wants, where he’s going with this.

“Can we?” he asks in between kisses, working his way your neck.

“So soon?” You tease and he blushes darker than his wine-stained lips.

“Oh no, I just...” he tries to explain himself and you giggle bringing a finger to his mouth to quiet him.

“I'm just teasing! You think you can do it again though?”

He raises a brow, silently asking what you mean.

“Oh, well men sometimes can’t go again, so soon. Usually, you’d need a bit of time to, mmm, recover is not the word I’m looking for but I think you get what I mean.”

He nods his head understanding, he feels foolish and unexperienced, like he should know more about these things. The only time sex was talked about in the academy was how it ruined soldiers, and that it was forbidden. Which makes sense from a school point of view who doesn't want any academy babies being born.

“Have you never-?” You ask and he doesn't catch on, so you sink your hand into the bubbly water and wrap your fingers around him, he’s soft in your grasp until you start moving your hand slowly up and down, he closes his eyes from the action, and puts his forehead back against your chest “-touched yourself?” you finished and he was glad his face was hidden because he couldn’t imagine how red it was, his face felt burning hot against your cool wet skin.

He feels almost as if he is in trouble, for what he’s not sure, but he doesn't want to admit this to you, he feels dirty to say it allowed.

He brings his lips to yours quickly, kissing you hard, bucking into your hand desperately.

“I'm gonna assume you have.” You say, so calmly talking about such a personal subject with him, but you feel so at peace with him, so content and free, why hold anything back. He nods while still kissing you, you smile against his lips.

“It’s okay, it’s not a bad thing, I have to.” You admit as you let go of him and grab his hand that was caressing your breasts and bring it between your bodies and guide his fingers to where they were before. “I've thought about you,” you admit and he stops kissing you, looking at you in awe.

“That weird?” You mumble, cheeks heating up under his gaze.

“No, it’s not weird, I just never imagined you would then…” he trails off as you kiss him again, he moves his fingers inside you and you start pumping his cock again, moving your hands out of sync, splashing water all over the place.

“Did you ever do it more than once?” You ask, curious if all of your efforts would be for nothing.

“Sometimes, it depends,” he admits quietly accidentally biting your lip as you rub a soapy thumb over his tip.

“Think we can do it?” You ask playfully and he quickly nods his head before you even finish speaking.

“Yes absolutely.”

You move closer to him, hover above his cock that’s gripped in your fingers, he doesn't take his fingers away, still sliding them in and out, his palm rubbing against your clit, you close your eyes and rest your forehead on his.

“You kinda gotta move your hand,”

“Oh,” he mumbled and fumbles, grabbing your hips and helping you move onto him, he slides inside easy and you waste no time, no pausing through transitions.

With each rise of your hips more bubbles and water splash out, you don't care enough to control your quick movements, you’re moaning into the kiss, into his mouth, he bites your lip again, mumbles an apology. He holds your hips tight, reaching fro control as he stops your movement, you feel him come inside you and then continue to move your hips as he watches your face expectantly.

You rest your forehead against his as you reach your high, stomach twisting, eyes rolling back. His face is elated, but he looks proud of himself. He pulls you flush against his chest and scoops water in his hands and lets it drip down your back, his fingers follow the liquid, running his open hand down your back and then bringing more water up. Your head is resting on his shoulder, heartbeat calming, breaths getting slower.

“You’re going to fall asleep in the tub.” He says quietly, trying to crane his neck to see your face.

“We can go to bed.”

Before long you’re sitting at the end of his bed, wrapped in a large towel, one is wrapped around your hair too. He brings you a pair of his pyjamas that should fit you well enough and you take them with a smile, he watches you get dressed, still in awe of you, that you’re his, that he gets to touch your body.

“What side do you sleep on?” You ask as you crawl up the bed, he points to the right so you crawl to the other side and pull the thick blankets over top of you. He follows quickly and is glad that you make the first move to cuddle up to him, holding him close as you quickly fall asleep.

The next morning you wake up early, you have a droid bring you your belongings and then get ready, sharing the bathroom with Armitage, brushing your teeth side by side. He likes this less lonely life already, though he isn’t sure how often you will stay over.

He leaves before you do, kisses your cheek, tells you to have a good day, a pip to his step, you put him in too good of a mood.

You walk up to your door where Kylo is waiting like he always is.

“Do I have the wrong room?” He asks sarcastically.

“Nope!” You say with a smile, your helmet in your hands and lightsaber on your hip.

“You’re radiating, I can feel you through force,” he says flatly.

“Awe thanks Kylo!” You tease as you start walking, he quickly follows you.

“It's annoying.”

“Not everyone can be brooding 24/7 like you are.”

“ I do not brood,” he argues, sounding ridiculous.

“The only person on this ship who has seen you not brooding and angry is me.”

“ I think you get more annoying every day,” he murmurs, putting his mask on.

“And I think you’re just jealous.” He whips his maks back off and drops it on the ground loudly, his facial expression would make you laugh if this was any other situation, he gawks at you.

“Jealous?” He says like it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard but you can feel his emotions through the force so plainly they fill the entire training room. Kylo is almost controlled completely by his emotions, which usually isn’t a problem, anger works in his favour most times, but when he’s weak, he’s very weak.

“It’s coming off of you in waves, I can feel it.”

“And I could feel you through the force last night, you and him,” he says with disgust and you’re taken aback.

You’re confused and you don’t mean to look into his mind for an answer but you do it by habit, crossing a line by accident but it’s too late to take it back, you see him sitting in his room, sensing your overwhelming happiness and joy, the light surrounding you and he’s worried, worried that Hux will make you weak, worried that he’s losing his only friend in the universe.

“You aren’t losing me, I’m still your apprentice, your friend.”

“We are not friends!” he yells and you take a step back, the inner conflict, everything Snoke wired into his brain is messing with him. Telling him he shouldn’t want to be friends with you in the first place so why is he so upset at the notion of losing you as one.”

“Even if you won’t say it out loud I know we are.” You try to calm him.

“Get out of my head!” He yells and pushes you back with the force, you fall to the ground looking up at him. You want to match his anger but you are far more sensible than him, you know this can be repaired easily.

“Come sit with me,” you say quietly and he stays standing, ignoring you. “Please,” you gesture down to the mat in front of you.

He sits down begrudgingly and silently.

“Kylo, you need to allow yourself to process emotions other than just anger, I know you think it makes you stronger with the force but that isn’t true, it clouds your mind, it makes you act too rashly. I know the thought of losing me scares you, I’d be scared to lose you too, but that doesn't mean I don’t get my own life.”

“Your sounding very Jedi mastery right now,” he says, not allowing himself to smile but he isn’t as angry anymore at least.

“Ew, do not call me a Jedi,” you joke and he laughs a bit.

“I was a Jedi once,” he says and you hold back a laugh.

“You were only a padawan technically, I know Jedi’s are all about their technicalities and rules and such.”

He rolls his eyes, “you’re insufferable.”

“Mhm, so are you though.” You smile at him and it’s a weird moment, one not shared often. For people so ruled by their feelings, you think you would talk about them more, but you don't. “We should train, you got some anger issues you need to work through,” you tease standing up and he stands across from you, grabbing his lightsaber and looking at the hilt.

“Maybe if I hit you in the head with this hard enough you will come to your senses?” He asks, taking his stance and pulling his helmet on.

“Good luck getting close enough,” you counter, as you run at him with your sabre ignited.

Kylo did not like this new relationship, but he decided he would try to ignore it. What he couldn’t ignore was Hux standing in front of him asking him a question while a bunch of other officers waited on his reply.

He had his mask off and he was standing unnervingly close to the general, Armitage was tall on his own but Kylo towered over everyone. Thank his boots for that.

Hux looked up at him expectantly and an uneasy silence filled the room, Kylo wasn’t listening to the General speak, he was busy fantasizing about killing him, sticking his sabre through the Generals stupid heart, choking him with the force, it seemed so nice in his head.

He finally realized everyone in the room was staring at him so he dug into Hux’s mind for the question he had asked prior. All he found were Hux’s worried thoughts.

-Oh kriff he seems mad, he’s angry, he’s always angry, does he know what I did, oh kriff does he know what I did?- Hux’s thoughts ramble so fast Kylo almost can’t keep up, he speaks allowed.

“Do I know you did what?” Kylo asks angrily through gritted teeth, the officer standing nearby takes a step back, that was not an appropriate answer to Hux’s question about whether or not they should move against a nearby planet that was rumoured to be a rebel sympathizer.

Hux’s face pails instantly, he realizes Kylo is in his head and he tries to control his thoughts but they jumble in his mind as Kylo sifts through them, he stumbles upon the events of last night, bits of what took place between you and Hux, kissing, dinner, and then bare skin, baths, Hux hands on his apprentice.

“You did what to my apprentice!” Kylo yells and grabs Armitage by his neck using the force pushing him backwards and up against the wall.

Hux grasps for his neck, eyes wide, accepting that this is how he’ll die, completely worth it though if he’s being candid.

Kylo is seething, partly because he hates the idea of Hux being anywhere near you, touching you, angry he accidentally saw you in such a compromising situation but Hux didn’t mean it, he tried to suppress the thoughts it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t block Kylo’s prying mind out of his own.

“Please remove your hands from my boyfriend’s neck Ren,” you say quickly, using the force to loosen Kylo’s grip, Hux falls to his knees. You called him the less personable name you could, you even almost came close to pulling the “Solo” card.

Kylo looks at you and then quickly looks away blushing.

Hux grasps as his neck, trying to catch his breath.

“What is going on here?” You ask an officer and they shrug, fear-stricken still.

“I looked into the General’s filthy brain,” he pauses and then looks at your sorrily, “I didn’t mean to see, I…” he’s lost for words and you walk over to Armitage, offering him a hand, pulling him to his feet and then interlocking your fingers with his as you pull him out of the room.

“Perhaps you should stay out of other people’s business then hmm Kylo?” You ask and you aren't angry since you suspected this would happen eventually.

Kylo rushes into his office and slams the door shut. You bring Hux back to your room to take care of him and his bruised neck.

“He’ll get over it soon enough.” You say as you trace your fingers down the pale bruised skin of his neck, the bruises travel under his collar, forming darker splotches quickly.

“If I can survive that long!” He says and then winces at your touch.

“Does it help if I kiss it better.” You tease kissing his nose.

“Very much so.”

SW TAGLIST: @bluerorjhan

EVERYTHING: @jordan-ia

Requested part three in the comments: @elentiya @huxismyman

#armitage hux x reader #hux x reader #general hux x reader #armitage #armitage x reader #armitage hux x you #armitage hux #general hux x you #general hux #Hux #hux one shot #hux fanfiction #general hux smut #smut #hux smut #hux x reader smut #star wars fan fiction

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actualbird · 3 years ago

Note

Hello, Zak. I just want to say thank you for your content, it makes me super happy and your analyses have become a solid part of how I perceive the NXX.

Non-ToT related ask: what do you recommend for beginner fanfic writers and content creators (for ToT and fics in general)? I'm thinking of posting more on my blog but I'm not experienced in using Tumblr or writing. (please do not misinterpret this as self-promotion!!! i just need advice owo.)

hullo!! thank u so much for the kind words, waaahhh, im glad u enjoyed my works :DDD

and no worries, i dont see this as a self-promo and also oooohhh!!

i'll cut ur main ask up into parts, hehe!!!

the only writing advice i'll ever give: read a BUNCH

i think this is important for all kinds of writing, fanfic or not. the bedrock for writing is reading.

go to fics other ppl have written that you personally really love and enjoy. go through it again, this time taking note of the bits that struck you in any way.

like, if theres a line that hit hard or a fic thats structured in a way that you found interesting or a certain kind of characterization that you cant get enough or anything that piques your interest, take note of it

and then look deeper and pick it apart. try and figure out how the author pulled that off in the writing. look at the things you yourself enjoy reading and study how they managed to do the things that impressed you

to word it differently: study, HAHAJKJADBFKSD but it's a fun kind of studying, since ur sources are texts you like!!

the "pick it apart" method is a more active kind of way to "study" but in general, even reading without that active mindset still enriches the writer brain. subconsciously, you'll gravitate towards doing things in writing that you enjoyed reading from other stories. reading is fuel for a writer

like, in my opinion, no writer at all can grow by just staying inside our own head. we grow by looking around and learning from things that resonate with us

in terms of what u wanna write, just go wild, write what you want

idk if this is something that resonates with you, but when i was starting out writing for tot i was HELLA ANXIOUS cuz the stuff i wanted to write (found fam shenanigans, shipping uncommon ships, several thousands of words of character analyses) wassssnnnttt exactly the stuff i saw everybody else in the fandom writing. if this is something u arent worried/anxious about then hell yea! skip to next part! but if it is, then i tell u this:

write it anyway. even if it feels like something nobody else wants. if you want it, write it anyway

because fandom surprises you. it surprised me! turns out theres a whole lotta people who like the stuff i thought nobody would be interested in

additionally, write what makes you happy and what youre interested in cuz it really shows in the writing itself. i cant rlly explain it in words, haha, but like...i can tell when somebody is super passionate about their piece in the words of the piece. enthusiasm brings life into writing and enjoyment in general is, in my opinion, the whole point of fandom anyway :D

tumblr is a mess tbh, do you want an ao3 invite?

tumblr. is a mess. however, among the social media websites right now, it's actually the best for written fanworks thanks to the lack of word limits and the blog focused structure of the whole site. that being said, it's a niGHTMARE keeping things organized on tumblr. my masterlist of totworks doesnt work anymore on desktop cuz i broke thru the link limit kjbkHBSKF IT ONLY WORKS ON MOBILE NOW and i had to move the whole masterlist to a gdoc for desktop accessibility kabfskafa.

so if youre writing fanfic, i VERY MUCH recommend getting an ao3, if you dont already have one. and if you need an ao3 invite to register for an account, send me a DM! cuz ive still got three invites in my account, im very willing to send you one :DDD

buuuuuut, i do also make a lot of fanwork thats not technically a full fanfiction piece (hcs, analyses, minific rambles, etc.) and those do seem better just staying on tumblr. so for posting writing on tumblr, use tags!!!

some main tags for tot that i think would be useful to totwriters are:

#tears of themis

#tears of themis fanfic

#tears of themis headcanons

#[character's full ENG name]

#tot [character's ENG first name]

#[character's full CN name]

#[character's full ENG name] x rosa

#[character's full ENG name] x reader

tho if ur blog is new and has just be created recently, keep in mind that theres a tendency that your posts wont show up in these tags until tumblr has "ensured" that youre not a bot akjbfkjsfas. tumblr whack like that. how to make tumblr realize ur not a bot is by following a some other people and reblogging a bunch of posts. interacting with other blogs, basically. this is non-bot behavior and will pull ur posts out of the nether and into the tags eventually

other stuff that might be helpful would be adding a wordcount at the top of the post (apparently ppl like this? akbfkjfksa i had no idea until i joined this fandom) aaaand a title and/or short description of the post that gives an idea on what the post is about

i see other totwriters on tumb doing cool stuff with like, banners and formatting. those seem nice!! i dont do them personally because im not great at visual aesthetics KBAJSFKSAJFSA but if it interests u, go for it!!!

OH ALSO, if ur gonna be posting a lot of fanworks on tumblr, making a masterlist with links of every post is a great idea!!!

i think thats all ive got? kjKABKJFAS forgive me, i just clocked out of work, so my brain might be a little scrambled.

i hope this helps!! and i send best wishes to you and your writing :DDD

#iceysghost #asks #im less versed with the reader ship tags since i dont write reader ship but thats what i saw on posts sometimes!!

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breaniebree · 5 years ago

Text

A Second Chance Chapter 219

I received an amazing number of reviews on this chapter and I wanted to share them/address some of them here to show my immense appreciation for those who take the time to drop me a line or two for what I write.

Some of you have decided after this chapter you can no longer follow my story and while it saddens me, I expected it. I write first for myself and I know where I want this story to go and while I hope you all keep reading it -- I know that not everyone will continue it.

Devereaux13: I can’t. You really just did that to us? Started this story with a oh! Sirius is gonna live! But NOO u had to frick us all over. Oh my god. I love you for this story but hate you for this story. I cried more this time than the cannon one. Goddamn

Lightningscar: Huh, well, judging from the reviews, this chapter is getting you a lot of heat... personally, I though it was great in many ways, both in action, description of thoughts/feelings and great descriptions of what was going on. My biggest beef, though, gotta be this: *Ginny grabbed Luna's hand and the two of them climbed onto the wolverine's back* Ehm, it is likely it was explained in previous chapters, and if memory serves, Animagi are generally slightly larger than their natural counterparts, but... a wolverine is generally about the same size as a medium dog, shoulder height being around 30-45 cm (12-18 inches), 65–107 cm (26–42 in) long (not counting the tail). Basically, Ginny and Luna are crawling on top of a Spaniel or a Golden Retriever (on the small size) Yes, wolverines are ridiculously strong compared to their size, capable of carrying prey many times its own size... carrying dragging it. One big difference between carrying something in its powerful jaws, compared to carrying something heavy on its back. A few other minor beefs Ehm, why did Voldemort pull a Jafar on the cat (Lady G, was it?) and not outright kill it? So they got giants wandering down mid London without anyone being the wiser? I'm sure you have thought of the logistics about it :) Well, all in all, great chapter. Things have advanced rapidly compared to canon, for better (less Horcruxes) and worse (Ministry bye-bye)... though, in the latter case, it can be interpreted somewhat ambigious. Fallen as in the place (which was a given, seemed to be completely overrun suddenly... makes one wonder where all of the defence forces went, guess we will find out sooner) or if it has fallen as an orginazation like they did in canon. Curious to see what happens next. Yours sincerely, Lightningscar

Menna Taha: Ok let me just say.. Sirius was going into battle with the intent to save his son, knowing that his Fiancée who he was very much in love with was pregnant with TWINS. I mean you’d think he would be more careful than in the books where he was reckless, lonely, rusty and under house arrest in a place he hated. Also the ministry fell! Just like that! After all the preparation and the relations with the french, Bulgarian and Russian ministries AND the fae and the army they made AND the warning they recieved! What were they fucking sleeping! I love you please don’t hate me.

They were not sleeping, but they weren’t prepared like they should have been. It’s a problem that will be addressed.

HGRHfan35: Well...shit... This was a really bad idea: to read this in bed. How the blazes do you expect me to sleep, now?!

Daddy: WTF! Why end it here. WHY!

Wade Bradford: Noooooooooooooooo!

AZfangirl: i cant believe you killed sirius. this one really hurts

Ofglitterandgiggles: I’m broken

axelvaz: Started this about a week ago and I’m finally all caught up! But oh my gosh! What a cliffhanger! Sirius!

Emeralds and Rubies: I thought we might get off easy when Pettigrew fell through the veil, butI’m heartbroken for Harry and Zee, but you definitely did this whole plot point justice.

maximusrexmundi: Eeeeeehhhhh so I was with you until the very end. I just can't imagine a Voldy who is objectively in a weaker position (than in the books) being able to muster a force that could attack and defeat a FULLY prepared ministry who both knew he was coming AND had international allies

Runningtwiceasfast: I have to say I am incredibly impressed with this chapter. I am obviously sad as I was in canon when Sirius died but due to the more uplifting tone of your work overall that you would shy away from a turn like this. Sirius' death is so important in canon a it really is a turning point in the story. Obviously when Cedric died it was sad but Sirius' death made everything all the more real. Your Harry has gotten so much more of a life and childhood than canon Harry but he too is now faced with the reality of life without Sirius. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Joanne: Wow! I’m so sad. I’ve been listening to Led Zeppelin in honour of Siri. I had hoped that this part of canon would be ignored but alas. War is war. Amazing storytelling: you made us feel this loss and that takes talent. I both dread and look forward the next chapter. Will Harry take Ginny with him? Will the breakup occur? Did Remus and Tonks make it out? Will there be a funeral? So many questions! Enjoy your birthday and rest while we all grieve.

Ahugefun: I need you to undo sirius death. Im not joking He shouldnt Not with zee pregnant and harry so attached to him Its not fair to us the readers who enjoyed your story so much andddd already mourned sirius a little bit when he was kissed before you changed that.. Im hoping that you wont kill remus and tonks in the end of the war. U are your own story and if somthing happen in jkr world doesnt mean it should here!

Everything that happens in JKR’s world is what inspired me to write my story so of course it affects it. Some will be the same, some will not -- includes character death. Not everyone will die who did in canon, but some will, and some who survived in canon, will die here.

jakegarrett94: nooooooo not sirius

Leaf Ranger: ...I'm sorry...but this...this is exactly why I called fucking bullshit in the last chapter. Because of all this. This. My problem isn't the pacing of your story. My problem is all this death and carnage and bullshit happened...not because of something realistic...but because the Grey lady, for no reason, was a cryptic dumbass. That is my problem. While it'd be hard to swallow, I'd have accepted most of what happened in this chapter if there was an ACTUAL reason, in the story, as to why they weren't able to be told where the diadem was. but there wasn't. The only reason was solely because YOU wanted it that way. And it's your story, fine, but at the very least, there should be a damn good reason WHY, in the story itself, things happen the way they do. It should never...EVER be just because you, the author, want it to happen that way. because then it breaks the immersion of the reader, if something happens solely for the sake of you, the author, having it happen that way. *sighs* To be honest? I'm sorry, but this, this just is too much. You killed off Sirius and had the Ministry fall DESPITE the preparations they had already made, despite the warnings they had. That just...no. I'm sorry, but no. I'm done. Thanks for what was a pretty entertaining story up to this point, but after this? Just nope. It's not worth it. It really isn't.

Sorry to hear that, but again, it is obvious to us the readers where the diadem is, but not to them. The Grey Lady can be cryptic if she wants as she’s dead and has nothing to lose, it’s up to our heroes to find the answer. Sorry you feel it’s not worth it, thanks for reading as long as you did.

Redplayer1998: Please tell me it's a trick sirius can't be dead not after 200 chapters of building his character please no

Dutchie: Oh man Sirius died, bummer! Still a great story.

Whiton: Hey I’m a bit late but I wanted to say happy belated birthday. I love this story it’s fun it’s sad it’s thought provoking and is just a wonderful thing to read. Hope this finds you well and hope you keep writing.

AkashiyaHyrule: What the... this can't be it. What's the point of creating all that military platoons, and gathering allies-if the Ministry are just going to fall so fast? This feels waaay to early for this story plot to occur. But that's just my opinion. Hopefully you got a plan that works, and it's believable. It's also in my opinion that if Sirius Black's "death" is true (hope it's not), Zacharias should not be with anyone else or find someone else to replace him. I suspect you might do something of that nature. You haven't shy away from all the random romances that occurs, even in minor characters. Don't think I haven't notice your tendencies to ship characters! Anyways, it would be annoying, weird, not the same, awkward, and off-putting. I hope that will never happen. But then again, this your AU, so you have the final say on what you want to implement. I invested a lot of my time in this piece of fanfic, so I don't wish for it be ruined by very disagreeable choices (it's all subjective, of course). I mean no disrespect, as I know writing is a tough pastime, and you deserve to be commended for the amount of time you put into your AU. So, good luck. You deserve your break, and hopefully things will be explained Chapter 220! P.S: He's really dead, isn't he? I guess I would have to expect the death of Remus, Tonks, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, Lavender Brown (at least in the movies), Dumbledore, Snape, Moody, Dobby, etc, etc. P.S. Why the hell am I just naming character deaths?

Guest: There . Are . No . Words. Saz J

Guest: I, like so many other readers here, have absolutely loved the changes you have made to the story of Harry & Sirius - it has been a wonderful story that we have looked forward to reading every week. However, as much as I love your story, I am upset and disappointed that you had this last chapter play out the way it did. You have, for 218 chapters, written about great changes and strengths for Harry, all the others, and especially Sirius. To have this last chapter happen almost like the original version (book & movie) is a bit of a let-down to your earlier chapters. I will still look forward to reading your story, but maybe without the enthusiasm I have had this past year.

KittenWithAnAx: damn it! I'm crying! Why do I always hope that Sirius survive? even when I watch the movie I hope he don't die! I hate and I love you! yes A break is need! let us mourn in peace! my baby died! and I know that in two weeks I will be back! because I'm too curious and I love how you write! I will still mourning Sirius but I will be back... anyway I will go cry in the shower! have a nice two week break! (and Happy Birthday!)

Blitz90: Hello Breannie ! First of all, I wanna say that your story is awesome ! I really like many of the change that you bring to the HP world! Congrats on that ! Now, about chapter 219, nice chapter all around but I felt that the training they got change nothing but maybe because of the stress to fitgh Death Eater explain it to... maybe you can show me the light on this ? Second, the death of Sirius... I must say that I am disapointed about that. I know that you said in the beginning that it will be ultimately a Hinny story but for me, Sirius was the heart and soul of you fiction. Lets hope that he is just in shock or king of a coma !

Qarz: You put a lot of effort into this, writing so many words is nothing to sneeze at and it shows dedication. However, you don't seem to understand that actions have reactions. If you make changes in Canon then the whole story has to change to make any modicum of sense. You didn't do that and the more than 1.5m words are a waste since it led to the same place and somehow things are even worse than in said Canon. I truly pity those who read this huge story just to be disappointed.

nesciamema: Kinda disappointed by Harry's shoddy fighting since they've all been training for a while, the only one who seemed to be thinking strategically was Ginny before she was taken out. Hoping Zee doesn't miscarry and fights for the babies rights as heir to the Blacks. No way in hell should any Malfoy hold the title with what just happened.

goldenone: thank you for posting this on my birthday it was a great gift but also HOW COULD YOU IMA CRY

aj613: ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod I was hoping Sirius would be spared holy shit oh my god whyyy? Amazingly written as always, BUT WHY?! THEY WERE GONNA GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES AND HARRY CALLED HIM DAD I—

Rufus777: I understand why you had to kill Sirius. But it still makes me sad. Well written as always. I've been a fan since chapter one. I had forgotten about the Dursley stuff. Good on you to remind everyone of those memories. Keep up the awesome -rufus

kyle.grimm90: I am so sad that Sirius died again... I was really hoping he would survive this time. I love you story is so addictive but I wish that would have gone different. I was so excited he didn’t go through the veil I was jumping for joy and then wammm he died. I won’t stop reading but it killed me when he died.

Haillie: WHAT! OH COME ON!

yunkol76: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thanks for the present! Now time to enjoy another GREAT chapter

coloredwords: First things first. A very happy birthday to you. I hope you have (had) a wonderful day. Second I wish you no riot reviews for your birthday. As much as I want to know what happens next, I respect you too much to shout and riot. But what a chapter! Damn. When Peter fell through the curtain I thought for a second Sirius would be safe. But alas. My last hope lies within some time turner or time room miracle. And all of a sudden we skipped right to the beginning of DH. I'm so curious to see what happens next. Have fun writing and enjoy your two weeks off. I will be here, waiting patiently.

Fruitcake49: I would rather this entire chapter be a nightmare. Why do Sirius and Harry always get the short dirty end of the stick? Such terrible childhoods and Sirius has to die leaving Harry alone. I gotta tell you if anyone other than a character in a story were put under this much pain and unhappiness they would crack and cease to function. As much as I like this story, Harry needs Sirius. I'm tired of people killing him off.

Steelcode: NO NO NO NO NO! HE WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED...HE HAS KIDS! WHAT ABOUT HARRY'S KIDS! WHAT ABOUT SIRIUS' FUTURE! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS ANOTHER JOKE PLEASE!

X.pix.X: Happy birthday, and great chapter

Undead Gothic Princess: you are mean and a god all at once! I was on the edge of my seat the whole time reading this, then took a sigh of relief when pettigrew died cuz I thought "hey, Sirius will be fine now, he survived!" then wham! I dont think he's really dead dead though. they'll either be a way so that it was polyjuice or maybe they use a time turner. something better happen so that he just appears through the front door/hospital wing and is like "whys everyone so down when my hansome face is here?!" please let it be true, otherwise I dont think I can go on in this cruel world xxx

HarryPotterLover2422: Such an amazing chapter! I have enjoyed reading this story for quite some time now and look forward to each new chapter. I am so sad with what happened to Sirius, but I am looking forward to what’s to come! I loved the Lucius called Theo his son that was amazing! I think one of my favorite things about this story, other than how amazing it is, is how you humanize especially the Malfoy family in terms of Draco and Theo. Amazing as always! Happy belated birthday! Can’t wait for more! ️

Leo: Happy Birthday! I was so excited to see that you have written this chapter, until I read it, I can't believe you've hit us with the double whammy. This chapter both made me cry and amazed at your incredible writing skills. I hope you carry on and finish this story. However, most importantly, please, please please, please, puppy eyes please can you post the chapter. I know you said you won't but imagine puppy eyes, you know you can't say no to that. Keep us the brilliant work.

I am imagining puppy eyes, but no, I’m sorry.

GoldenPotterFan: Chapter 219 and the first time I am commenting. Started reading this story between Christmas and New Year 2018 and read all chapters up to then by the time I went back to work. Since then I have waited for updates every week. Somehow, I don't believe that Sirius is dead. Just a feeling I have. I also think Lucius might be working against Voldemort while still not quite working for the Order. I would not be surprised if he saves Sirius somehow. I cannot wait for another update. PS Happy Birthday, I hope you had a great day :)

devonleney27: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! Thank you for the gift of this chapter, sorry I didnt get you anything!

DoodleBug78: OMFG cannot believe that! Really?!

witchyromy: mmmm i would have thought that with the time living in the magical world, and all the extra training harry has done, with sirius and remus and mischa and the rest of the group as well in the extra defense lessons that this would have gone better, they almost only used stupify and some 1st year spells. The whole thing is 80% the same as the original... i have to say i am a bit disappointed.

Sorry to hear that, but I kept what I needed to keep in there for a reason and I hope you will stick around to see that, but if not, well thanks for reading.

Guest: Welp, I’m crying. I’ve been following this story for a while, and honestly didn’t expect to be so upset about Sirius’ death, again. You’ve done wonderful work at recreating this moment. There are so many tiny complexities in this rendition and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Hoping zee’s fall didn’t hurt those babies. Thank you for your work. ️

snowball0709: Happy birthday! Hope you have a great day:) Now to the story.. HOW COULD YOU KILL SIRIUS? This story is all about his second chance! And the wedding, the twins... come on, siriusly! I really hope you have something up your sleeve and that he miraculously lives somehow. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

Lolikiano: I'm so excited you posted early! I can live with the cliffhanger as an exchange! Your stories have inspired me to write my own fanfiction and I can't thank you enough for that! I'm looking forward to your next update in two weeks! P.S. I love the "Surprise" pregnancy (which i TOTALLY called when Zee got ill!) I can't wait to read Harry's reaction!

Maggie1874: I'm so sad and disappointed that Sirius died. I was really hoping he'd live in your story.

Krazyasibe: Happy birthday! But why would you do that! I love Sirius!

alix33: No need for anyone to shoot Nott senior in his undersized wanker, Ginny will just have bat bogeys coming out of it rather painfully (and satisfactorily for us readers) in a jiffy. Dumbles had sweet fanny adams to do with the six being able to turn into animaguses. I like Lady Godiva's way of dealing with Death Eaters far better than I do any of the light side's humans' only effective for a couple of seconds stupefying. That vile bitch Bellatrix killed Sirius! I wonder which charm was used on the statue which made it keep Harry away from Dumbles and Tom Riddle junior.

wheezing-reader: Happy Birthday! Your story is probably one of my all-time favorite fics! Saying that WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! No. This is not okay. I'm not okay with this.

Josh: Can't believe you killed Sirius! Hope something miraculous is going to happen. This is supposed to be about "A Second Chance" for him, so he needs to be alive!

Menna Taha: Happy birthday! But still how fucking dare you

jmdaz44: I know Sirius canon-ly dies in the fifth book but I was hoping you’d spare us somehow, especially after the proposal and pregnancy. Instead you were just fattening us up to be slaughtered. You’re cruel. I love the story and your writing but it hurts. It hurts. I truly hate your Bella. I should have waited to read this until this evening because now I feel like my whole day is ruined and it is just starting. I hope you’ve got something feel-good planned because I’m pretty down on this right now. I guess that parallels where we are in the story; things are getting real and nothing is for certain anymore. Hope is a dangerous thing.

alyson3il: First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a wonderful day, and short hiatus to get everything straight! Second of all, WHHHHYYYYYY?! WHY? Why? Y? y? WHHYYYY! I thought Sirius would be SAFE, you lured us into security with Peter, but then it just HAD to happen. I got my hopes up that it wouldn't be him, he had Zee, he had the twins on the way, HE WAS GONNA GET MARRIED! I get that things happen, BUT THIS THING DIDNT NEED TO HAPPEN, or maybe it did. You're the author, you have a plan in place, and you know what you're doing. I'll just be hurt for the next two weeks.

Miss Elyon: 1) Happy birthday dear ! All good for you! 2) Thad Nott - It was too late! (I loved that Lucy killed this son of a troll) And Wormtail ... I'm sure you will be very well received in hell! 3) Bella ... fucking crazy bitch ... something will come to you and it won't be pretty! 4) More importantly - You made me cry so fucking hard with Sirius. I went into depression until you post again. I truly love your story (although it makes me cry like a baby!). The pain at his death was more brutal than the book. I know you have something planned (I hope) and I will be reading (with a sniffling nose) the next chapter! To cure this chapter I'll read the whole story again and cry all over again ... I think I like to suffer ... kkkk See you in the next chapter ;)

chefke: o.m.f.g. omfg. I'm freaking out

xcherry91x: OMG NOOOOOO! I was hoping that Sirius wouldn’t die. I cried when I read that. The babies! They gots no daddy

SuperBossy: Not happy at all.

rolly21: I can’t believe you killed Sirius. I was really hoping that you wouldn’t.

LilyBlack18: I was so not expecting that. I was sure Sirius wouldn't die . My god, reading his death again was pure torture. At least Harry still have Zee, Remus, etc. I'm so sad, though... I really thought you wouldn't keep that part of the story, and you gave me false hope when Peter died x)

greg.is.wilson: You are evil.

Mutt N. Feathers: Yes my dear, I do trust authors. Needless pain is never inflicted by them. I made readers think I killed Sirius too, but instead had other plans. You love him too much. I live in hope. Mutt

supersandman86: Oh man! Not Sirius! He just got his life to perfection. Loving son, a fiance and a child on the way. Nice to see Wormtail redeem himself by shoving zee out of the way and Thaddeus got what he deserved. Now we just need to give Crouch and Bellend Lestrange pain that even they can't endure. This was always the dark point in the whole franchise in my opinion, where Harry felt the most hopeless. Let's see how it goes.

Sirius black411: You are so cruel...so so soooo cruel. They were going to get married...have twins and raise them.. How could you?! I can't imagine what Zee must be going through but she is still there for Harry. She will be a great mother.

Wodril: This Sirius didn't really seem like the guy to be done in while taunting. Not being hit by the killing spell, and the whole "he'll writhe in pain as he dies" spiel makes it a bit more uncertain. I never really appreciated him coming back to life after the dementors, and kinda hope, for the sake of the story, he'll stay dead this time. He will probably show up as an inferi anyway?

Jewels46: Omg... I’m crying! You’ve reduced me to tears. I know it was a very real possibility, but I hoped it wouldn’t actually come to fruition even though I understand the significance. I do really like how you wrote his death though, a much more fitting end. The bit you added with Peter had led me into a false sense of security that the lovable mutt would be safe. I just can’t even right now. Wonderful chapter. I’m going to cry some more and eagerly await the next one

Dianne: Yes I need atleast 2 weeks to emotionally reconstruct myself after this bombshell of a chapter. Deep breaths in and out. Curious about how you've brought a 7th year canon event now itself. I'm not sure I even took in everything coz I was crying so hard and couldn't read clearly, was reading this at clg and I surprised everyone by suddenly crying out loud and sobbing :'( and everyone was baffled when I said one of my most favourite characters just died painfully and I was crying for that, but they don't understand the power of reading or the power of HP thankyou for an early update and kudos you're an amazing writer!

purplevictory: That wasn't nice. I mean, happy birthday and everything, but did your present to yourself really have to be the torture of your fans? I know Sirius will be fine, I just don't know how you're planning to get there. Thank you for the early chapter. But, when your birthday celebrations are over you really ought to write "I will stop being mean to my readers" 50 times. You don't have to use a blood quill.

Write lines as punishment? I don’t have time for that, I need to write the next chapters.

xXMizz Alec VolturiXx: Noooooo I can’t believe that after all this you still killed Sirius! When his life was finally all good with babies on the way!

eternal king of fire: wow this chapter was a tear jerkier poor sirus and zee

speedsONEandONLY: No. Nope. No. I refuse to see this as a real chapter. None of this happened. I mean what was the point of letting them be happy, of getting rid of the Horcrux early. Only to fucking destroy them. To make him want to sacrafice, kill himself anyway. This chapter didn't happen. This is a "what couldve been" I doesn't make any fucking sense. Nor does it for the narrative. So, No. I refuse to think, Believe, You could be so heartless to characters/people you love. That you made us love. I don't see anyway how the story Could really go on, if this chapter actually happened. It reads more like the last Twilight movie from when Aro rips off Carlisles head. Sorry, but no.

Sorry, I guess I’m heartless. Comparing me to Twilight though, that’s heartless.

Ari Black-18: I know that this is a war, but please let Sirius escape death again, don't do this please, please make this better, tell me that Remus and Tonks somehow save him, tell me that even tho he is in bad condition he's still alive, don't leave his twins and Harry without a father, don't live Zee without her love, don't rip away Remus's brother from him, give him a second chance from the original story, let him be there with Harry at the end, the world it's already too shitty for it even to suck in a fanfic. Call me naive or delusional, but I actually believe that this is not over, I trust you enough to know that you wouldn't do this, your story it's to damn good to lose such a character just like that, so I know you are going to fix it, you're going to pull a surprise under your sleeve and make us love it so much. I believe in you, I mean you wouldn't just kill Sirius like that, not this Sirius, your Sirius. I trust you, I know you wouldn't do this. Please enjoy your break, chill, eat a lot of snacks, maybe even party a little, and then, please, bring our uncle Siri back.

Seriuslypadfoot: Hey Breanie, very well written as per usual. I hope Sirius isn’t actually dead, as this story is one of the few Sirius and Harry fics that I have thoroughly enjoyed and don’t want his character to end this way. Powerful moment with Malfoy in this chapter, but I wish he showed more backbone and fully went against the death eaters like his family wants. Again, hope Sirius doesn’t end here, the death will really hurt the story in my opinion. But this is your story so write it how you will. Thanks for your hard work!

Thank you! Malfoy doesn’t have much of a backbone, but I do have a plan for him. I’m sorry you feel that Sirius’ death hurt the story, I think it’s important for what’s next.

DetroitNate: A review? I hated this chapter. Oh the writing is great as usual, but what happened in it? I hated, loathed, detested it. I hope justice comes and comes quicker than Hinny did in this story cause it is getting too difficult to read of how these vicious bastards seem to get away with anything they want. JKR did two things I can't stand in canon kill off Sirius and Fred and now I'm wondering if this story will follow her on that pattern... I hope not, I really do.

Thank you and I promise, justice will come quicker than Hinny -- as in it won't take another 197 chapters, maybe 196, just kidding!

Paola1991: So is this death for real or is he coming back? I mean you tricked us once. I guess i kind of assumed you’d never kill him off because it was kind of a sirius fix it story? Where he gets a better life? This took me by surprise. Its primarily why i hate book 5. I thought someone else was gonna die instead. Hes the one character i would never kill i guess. Especially with zee having his kids! Not sure how i feel.

Guest: can i honestly beg something? can you please bring back sirius alive? please? i know u wont do it.. u have a plan with ur story... but as a big big fan of ur story im really really begging will u please?

Queen Raja: Wow. And I thought the book’s death was heartbreaking! Seriously, bravo. I don’t cry easily, and this chapter made me UGLY cry! Waiting until two weeks will be very hard, but I’m glad you’re able to take some much deserved time for yourself and Dusk. Happy Birthday, Breanie!

Maisie: how and why could you do this to mee im cryinggg please say its looking better in the next chapter

midnitewanderer: Dumbass went and reread it. Not gonna lie, it was a brilliant chapter but I am still this close to hunting your ass down and forcing to rewrite Sirius back in. Where’s my angry emoji when I need it. I can’t help but feel that you wrote Zee the way you have specifically for this chapter. Not only does she come into their lives and becomes the best pseudo mom ever written in any HP fanfic, she basically adopts Harry into her entire family. Sure there’s stories out there with the Weasley’s treating him as one of their own but not like this. ZEE’S ENTIRE FAMILY ADOPTS HARRY. Your sneaky ass has been prepping us from the beginning of her intro! He calls them all Grandad/Grandpa, Grandmama/Grandma, etc. so that eventually he sees that he’s never truly alone. Then enter the Weasleys, McGonagall, Rem&Tonks, Andi&Ted, Dumbles, Nev, Lu, Mione, he’s surrounded by so much love. I just know the next chapter is going to be hard for me seeing as I’m a crybaby but damn it to hell, I can’t wait. 2 whole weeks. What am I gonna do?

Thank you. I guess I was kind of sneaky like that, wasn’t I?

Zacnelson0628: Breanie... I kinda had a feeling that was going to happen. Still really sad though. I hope you kill of bellatrix in a spectacular manner.

I will do my best -- I do know exactly how it will happen and who will do it.

notthatchhavi: Oh, wow! I don't know what to say! This was a extremely well-written chapter When Lucius said that Theo was his son...it was such a moment I went ooooooohhh Well other then that..I cried I literally cried when Sirius died and yes I am still in denial I hope atleast Remus and Tonks will be okay.. Harry needs some support from one father When Sirius died.. it broke my heart.. Harry calling Sirius Dad.. and Sirius saying that Harry was the best thing ever happened to him I feel that he was not saying that just to Harry.. it was to James too because the Potters were the best thing which happened to Sirius I feel really bad for Zee...being pregnant with your fiancée's children and then him dying is not an easy thing to go through But the most importantly...this chapter made me cry I have read many fanfictions.. but i have never cried.. they might have been super good.. but has never made me cry I think the ability for a writer to make the reader both and laugh and cry is extremely important and difficult...I think by this story you have proven yourself as a damn good writer

Having Harry call him dad was vital and every time I tried to change it, I came back to it.

josht1987: Just know, that I am very mad at you you right now. We'll see what happens after the next one. An extremely well written chapter, but... You know what you did.

Daerwin45: not Sirus oh please he is so important it was going so good im sorry i am just a fan and it has been such a great story i did not mean to question your reason. i just was enjoying harrys and Sirus' relationship.

PotterBlondie: Oh my god, I wasn’t expecting Sirius to die! Or for anything to go this badly in one chapter! I hope he gets to escape death again? Pretty please? I hope you had a wonderful Birthday!

midnitewanderer: Nope. I’m done. I’m done. I AM FUCKING DONE! I will have no more toilet tissue by the end of the night. My chicken is currently burning on the stovetop. My emotions are freaking fried right now. Not only was he... UGH! I can’t. I literally can’t right now. I know this is fiction and whatnot, but my heart is hurting. How in the hell did I get so emotionally invested in this damned story?! Now, I’m going to remove my burning chicken and cry in a corner.

scrappy8: OMG what a chapter Poor Sirius is gone

Covley Hatake: Please let Sirius some how had lived. I like cheered when Pettigrew went in the veil instead and then that. You like ripped my heart out with Sirius. Like come on. Still good story but wanted Sirius to be there for the happy ending. I picture Harry though being the best big brother to those babies and protecting the hell out of Zee and the babies. Betting she tells Harry soon as well. Also question if he is dead what does that mean for them claim the Black title? With out him to claim them they would be seen as illegitimate and as the deal with Malfoy was made he could take it? curious on that one.

akshutalankar: well this is a really bad chapter to be posted on birthday... plz give us next soon... make Sirius alive pretty please

shooter124: O my god, I am crying. Please don’t take Sirius from us, Zee needs him and so does Harry! However that death scene was crazy good. I’m hoping that you have this elaborate plan as to why Sirius had to fake his death or something. Please please please say he is still alive, Sirius and Zee have not finished their story yet and Remus needs his best friend. This is my favourite story I have read on FF, you are a fantastic writer and I get excited every time you post!

Wolf's scream: Nice set of Bat-Bogeys, Miss Weasley! Yeah, a ticked-off wolverine is NOT something I'd prefer to cross. Greengrass is there? That's ... something I was not expecting. Yeah, Theo's advice to smash the Prophecy seems pretty sound to me. (With the possible caveat that certain DEs might lose whatever semblance of control that they have...) Seriously, Hermione? That's not a "baby." And in any case, Petrification is not intrinsically harmful: it merely decreases the probability that the Petrified one will pose a danger to himself or others. Sheesh. Somebody needs to get her priorities sorted. :-) I'm a little surprised that the DEs that trapped the teenagers in the Brain Room were using less-than-lethal spells. Granted, I'm rather glad that they did, but I don't understand whys. Well..! Lucy IS good for something, I guess... It's rather a pity that Harry hadn't smashed the Prophecy and grabbed another as a decoy. :-} Oh! What would happen if Harry were to chuck the Prophecy through the arch...? Ah - excellent move, Lady G! :-) Remus was dueling Dolohov? But Harry had Petrified Dolohov just a bit ago... maybe another DE released him, or the spell wore off? So - the Rat did something useful before departing... BTW, a fairly effective dueling technique might be to blast the floor/ground out from under one's opponent. Or merely make it incapable of supporting the opponent's weight. Especially if one is in a structure and not on the bottom floor. Well, at least there's no ambiguity at all regarding Sirius's fate. :-/ Well, laughing at Bella is a pretty good way to ensure that she's even more off-balance, yeah. It's good that Dumbledore addresses Tom by his given name (vs. the nom de guerre that he made up)

Guest: You cant do this Sirius can't be dead! Please let him live! P.S. happy Birthday Seriously though bring Sirius back.

dhnysports88: for the love of god tell me they planned to fake his death, DON'T DO THIS TO US

minerdude: Wow this is a great story, even if you killed Sirius, although with the next chapter I hope we discover thinking he was dead was part of the fog of war. If Sirius is dead it was truly well written to get our guard down by sending Peter though the veil

Old-fashionedAnglophile: What. The. ACTUAL. HELL?! Are you trying to destroy us? And you're making us wait for it? Damn your excellent and captivating writing. I'll be waiting for the next chapter with bated breath.

Thank you (I think).

littlehughesy: WHY? Why must you keep killing off characters that I love!? It's like Game of Thrones all over again! I get that it is canon for Sirius to die at the Ministry, but for fuck's sake can't Harry just have a little less suffering for once? For the love of God, if you kill Remus and Tonks in this story, I am done. Just done. I cannot handle my emotions right now. Okay, venting over. As much as I don't like it, your story is still fantastic. And hey, cheers for the early update and happy birthday!

Atea1793: You... are... absolutely... evil... YOU KILLED SIRIUS, KILLED DEADALUS DIGGLE, LEFT ZAHIRA A PREGNANT WIDOW BEFORE SHE EVEN GOT MARRIED, MAY HAVE LEFT HARRY AN ORPHAN AGAIN, AND HAD THE MINISTRY FALL A WHOLE YEAR EARLIER THAN IN CANON?! I'M STARTING TO THINK YOU'RE AS SICK IN THE HEAD AS VOLDEMORT IS! Excuse me while I spend these next two weeks gathering a mob to go after your twisted ass. The Death Eaters will seem like playground bullies when we come for you...

Guest: Omg. Omg. You actually killed Sirius. I cried. I honestly would have rather see Remus die, but maybe that’s what makes this story stronger and more intense. I definitely need 2 weeks to process this. Poor Zee and poor Harry.

lcwintersoldier: Goddamit how could you kill Sirius :'(

LifeonEarth: Oh come on you hand to bring Marauder into this. This hurts.

I’m sorry, but I thought Marauder deserved to be in Harry’s thoughts.

White Squirrel: Why does everyone feel the need to kill off Sirius even when there's good reason for events to play out differently? Honestly, this whole section felt like it wasn't up to your usual standards. You copied so much from the book, even when they had different people there and a different plan. It would have made more sense and wouldn't have been that hard to choreograph a different battle sequence.

I felt that it was important to keep it similar which I will explain later on, but of course you’re entitled to your opinion.

love reading20613: Oh god no please no

alistark94: What an ending! I gotta say I'm suprised you still killed off Sirius. Great story by the way!

Anixara: Wow, I find this story just in time for the latest chapter to be THAT. God damn it. Now I have to figure out if waiting for the next chapter is even worth it with how much that fucked with my emotions.

Breaniefan: This was so unrepresentative of your characters to just shove them back into JK's exact plot. This Harry would never have been so impulsive, Ginny and Theo would have escaped, the well trained Order would have been quicker on the mark and more effective. This was just lazy writing, taking so much of the original story and just shoehorning it in - I'm so disappointed! Also why the fuck would you kill Sirius? The whole point of fanfic is to FIX those stupid character deaths from the original, not go and do it again. I've followed this story from the start and loved it, but if Sirius is still dead next chapter... You've lost a reader.

I’m sorry that I’ve lost a reader over this, but as I said, I knew he would die from the first chapter. Harry would be that impulsive because Ginny was kidnapped and there's no way he wouldn't try to save her. She and Theo may have been able to escape but not unscathed. I don’t believe that fan fiction is made to “fix” stupid character deaths because the original story is amazing and I’m getting the chance to play with the characters we all love so much and Sirius had a second chance on life and he lived it.

Adelite: AAAAH. aaAAAH. I came here for a BETTER WORLD and you killed SIRIUS BLACK of ALL PEOPLE and just when HE LEARNED HE IS HAVING TWINS?!?? I swear to god AaaaaahahahAH the original didn’t hurt this bad I read 219 chapters in 2 weeks just to be welcomed with this I am absolutely gonna riot and also what happened to Tonks? P.S if you kill Rem, Tonks and Fred in the battle of Hogwarts I will personally pee your pants

Pegg7: I can not believe it!!It has been chapter that i'm saying something bad was about to happen, but not this bad!!!!!The only think i can do now is wait and speculate: you had wormtail die through the veil and not Padfoot, so, maybe, there is a chance, i have hope! By the way, the chapter itselff is good, nothing less to say... I'm going to have a lot of speculation as how the thing are going to be next, so i'll dread this 2 next weeks Love you (a little less) as always

lovelyellie: that really hurt my feelings damn

phoenixmaiden13 (Lady Phoenix): I so hate this chapter, yet it was so good. Still can't believe you killed off Sirius, I thought he was safe for a minute but I guess not. At least they will have a body to bury. I'm going to go cry now.

They will have a body to bury and I hope that chapter makes you all feel the emotion as much as I did writing it.

MrToddWilkins: But he is still alive! The blood-Harry’s right!

Bosma18: Happy birthday but why did you have to kill Sirius he was one of my most favorite characters he and zee where supposed to marry and live happily ever after I wanted Sirius to die of old age while being surrounded by his grand children

Jmcglynn522: You killed him.... you killed him... he just found out that Zee was preggers, with twins(FYI: Taking antibiotic potions and birth control potions = Twins. Mine just turned 20.).And there’s no do over this time....no time turner.... just... you killed Sirius Black.I love your story, I’m bawling hysterically right now, but I don’t like you very much at the moment.... you killed him....why??? (Happy parts: Ginny preforming the “bat bogey hex” on Thaddeus’s dick for Theo! Lucius killing Thaddeus for hurting Theo, “his son!”. Ron touching “Uranus”. Lady G not dying. Zee not dying. And Pettigrew’s death was to kind.) And Happy Birthday!!!(Even though I may be traumatized for life.)

Pettigrew’s death may have been too kind but I think it was an important turning point for him in that he saved Zee for Sirius.

LordSmidgeon: I'm hoping so much all this was pushed in his head by Voldemort after the brain room to mess with his psyche. I'm hoping he comes to and they are just getting him away from the veil. Or it was all what he saw in the veil. Like honestly, if you have to have someone die please dont kill Sirius (at least not yet).

Siriuslover: Im in denial. He’s not dead. How could you kill Sirius!! He was the main reason I’ve loved reading this!! Ugh please take it back I’m so sad

kellykat1889: Your evil.

RiverFord: I think I’m going to need two weeks just to recover from this. I’ve absolutely loved this story so far but you literally just killed off my favorite character and I can’t even...

archiveScrapper: Happy birthday! I'm a long time reader and first time reviewer, but I finally felt like I had something to say (plus wishing you a happy birthday is important). I'm actually weirdly... proud? of you for keeping Sirius's death at this point in the story. In the books it's kind of the point at which Harry has to officially grow up, and realize that even though he's a kid, he's the center of a really vicious war where his actions have very real consequences. And he has no one left to fully protect him either. Even in a fic where Sirius matters a whole lot more, and Harry is gonna be a thousand times more hurt by his death, that moment of change, and of Harry accepting his inevitable place in this fight is really important? So I just wanted to say that as much as I'm really sad about Sirius being gone, because I really did enjoy him getting to be happy for once, i think it's an important moment for the story and I'm really happy that it's one that you kept even in a version of this story that's a lot happier than the original story ever was. I've been wondering how you were gonna handle this moment for a long time now, and although I'm definitely gonna go cry about Sirius's death now, I'm really happy with what you decided to do.

xXQueenOfDragonsXx: NONONONONONONOSIRIUS! I WANT TO HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW BUT I CANT ‘T

TheOneWithWritersBlock: Please tell me this is a dream. Please tell me that Sirius didn't actually die. Please tell me that the ministry hasn't actually fallen. Please tell me it's all one big giant nightmare.

leflemmeenrose: Happy birthday!A break is definitely needed. I'm gonna spend it crying until you upload the next chapter haha. Take your time.

Zerius: Yay! Pettigrew's dead!I am struggling so hard not to say I hate you. I don't actually, but why did you feel the need to kill off Sirius?! He was Harry's family, he had Zee, he was in love, he had such an amazing life and now... Now he's never going to see Harry and Ginny get married, he won't see his children grow up... And Dedalus Diggle? What was the meaning of his death? Why did he have to die? And so cruelly... I love the new battle though. I've got a love/hate relationship with this chapter. Great job, can't wait to see what happens next. Please heal Sirius! Maybe he's not actually dead? Maybe there's a cure? Please say there's a cure! Again, amazing job! Update soon! I love it!

LaureWithAnE: I don’t really like you at the moment. But, happy birthday! How is it, after 17 years, the death of Sirius Black still makes me cry?

PurpleLotus (Person of Earth): Why did you have to kill Sirius? I just can't even process everything that happened. You made me cry and my heart is broken for Harry and Zee and the twins. I don't know what is going to happen and it's killing me. The ministry fallen already...I have no words for the desolation I feel. You have emotionally annihilated me, so congratulations. I understand the need for a break, I will be waiting impatiently for the next update. Happy Birthday and Happy Writing!

#a second chance #breanie #a second chance spoilers #harry potter fanfiction #fanfiction review

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hysterialevi · 5 years ago

Text

When the Devil Cries pt. 35

Fanfic summary: (NO SPOILERS IN THIS STORY) After arriving in Saint Denis, Arthur ends up falling in love with a seemingly innocent pianist, only to find himself in a battle with one of the most notorious outlaws to ever emerge from America. Now, between working for Dutch and robbing money for the gang, Arthur has to also protect the man he loves as the two of them try to find their freedom.

Pairing: Arthur Morgan/Male OC

Author’s note: Sorry about the longer wait for this one guys! I had a hard time putting my thoughts into words on this one for some reason, but I’m finally happy with the end result. There’s only going to be one more chapter after this one, and I’m extremely excited to share the final parts of this story with you. Enjoy!

Previous chapter

This story is also on AO3

From Eddie’s POV

A FEW YEARS AGO

BISHOP RESIDENCE, LONDON

“Nathaniel!” I exclaimed, trying to calm the man down as he paced around. “What are you doing? We need to go! Your father’s men will be here soon!”

“I know!” He replied in a frantic tone, trying to barricade the door. “Which is why you need to get the hell out of here!”

I pulled back at the reply, shaking my head in confusion. “What? But w-what about you?”

Nathaniel took out his gun and staunchly faced the doorway, loading a series of bullets into the chamber as Atticus’ men approached the house.

“I’ll hold the gang back. Try to make ‘em see reason. It really ain’t worth it, all this death. You and your family...none of you deserve to die. This whole thing’s a goddamn massacre. My father’s just gone mad. I can only pray that I’ll be able to change his mind.”

I paused for a moment, instantly thinking about the worst outcome.

“...And if you cant?

Nathaniel fell silent at that and gazed sorrowfully at me, letting out a morose sigh as his head hung low.

There was a certain temperament to him at the moment that really I didn’t like, and the longer he stayed in place, refusing to leave -- the more I got a terrible feeling that I knew exactly what he was thinking.

I just hoped I wasn’t right.

“...Listen, Theo,” Nathaniel said softly, freezing mid-action. “I...I need you to make it outta this alive, you hear me? I need you to survive.”

“And I will,” I insisted, “but not if we stay here! We need to move! Come on!”

“We’re surrounded, Theo.” Nathaniel replied hopelessly. “If we run off together, they’ll gun us down before we can even escape the city. The only way you’re gonna get out of this is if I cause a distraction and force them to come up here. In the meantime, you’ll be haulin’ ass to safety and hopping on the first ship to America. You understand?”

I still rejected the idea.

“Nathaniel, you’re out of your mind if you think I’m leaving you here. There’s no way--”

“--I can’t come with you, Theo!” He fired back, causing me to go quiet. He immediately picked up on my surprise and switched to a gentler tone, lowering his voice.

“Trust me, if there was another option, I’d take it, but...this is where we’re at. This is all we can do. I’m...I’m sorry, Theodore. I truly am. But I can’t go with you.”

I bit my bottom lip and held back the tears that were welling up in my eyes, only to have them spill out freely once everything started to sink in. It was just one of those things I couldn’t control, and despite the reality of our situation, I absolutely refused to believe that this was the last time I’d ever see Nathaniel.

I mean, I had already lost both of my parents, and God only knew what was happening to Alice. I couldn’t lose Nathaniel too. I just couldn’t. He was the only person I had left. What...what the hell was I going to do without him? I had never been to America before, and I didn’t even know if I’d be able to make it there on my own.

All of this was just...too much at once, and it felt like the weight of the world itself was crushing my shoulders.

Striding over to me, Nathaniel affectionately wiped away some of the tears on my face and lightly gripped my chin so that I was looking at him, causing the both of us to nearly break down right then and there as we silently said goodbye to each other.

There was a look of finality in his eyes -- the kind that said he knew he was going to die -- and with every shaky breath that he took, I could almost see the life draining from his expression.

“Listen to me, Theo,” Nathaniel reassured. “You’re gonna be okay. Just...go to America. Change your name. Start a new life. Don’t tell anyone who you are, and you’ll be safe. You ain’t gonna be alone.”

I turned away from him out of distress and held onto his hand, desperately trying to think of any excuse that would permit me to stay.

“...It’s not that easy, Nathaniel.”

He caressed my cheek, offering whatever encouragement he could.

“I know, but if anyone can do this -- it’s you. You’re much stronger than you believe, Theo. Someday, you’ll see that. But for now, just do whatever it takes to survive...and don’t look back. No matter what happens. You hear me?”

I offered only silence in return, causing the other man to grip me by the shoulders and look me in the eye.

“Do you hear me?” He repeated, his tone growing more desperate.

I took a deep breath and nodded in response, albeit reluctantly.

Nathaniel suddenly planted a brief but deep kiss on my lips and brought me into a tight embrace, clearly reluctant to let go so soon.

“Goodbye, Theo,” he whispered mournfully. “And thank you for everything. ...I’ll never forget you. Promise you won’t forget me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

PRESENT DAY

EASTERN NEW HANOVER

...Nathaniel Rose.

I couldn’t stop repeating his name in my head.

As Arthur and I scaled this enormous rock formation where Atticus awaited our arrival at the top, I felt like I was finally confronting the past that had haunted me for so long.

Years of grief, fear, and hatred all overwhelmed me at once, and despite having spent the majority of my life writing stories, I couldn’t think of a single word that was sufficient enough to describe my emotions at the moment.

There were just so many memories, so many questions, so many regrets -- that it was impossible to express them all.

From the time I spent falling in love with Nathaniel, to Atticus’ betrayal, to the murder of my family, and now, to the end of it all...I didn’t know what to think.

Was this truly the only way it could’ve ended? Was there ever a possibility of my family living in peace? Had I always been destined to live this kind of life from the start?

...Were Arthur and I even meant to cross paths in the first place?

Well, whatever the case was, I couldn’t deny that I was somewhat remorseful of how I had grown.

Not too many years ago, I would’ve never even considered the option of shooting someone to death -- and yet, here I was, after all this time, ready to kill the man who had single-handedly destroyed my life in the name of greed.

I had to admit, it was rather frightening to see the sort of man I had become. I never anticipated that I would go out of my way to end another human being’s life like this, but it was something I felt like I had to do. Not just for my family, or for Nathaniel...but also for Arthur.

I loved that man more than anything. He may not have thought much of himself, but he was a hero in my eyes.

Arthur found me whilst I was at one of the lowest points in my life, and not only did he help me survive, he also gave me the courage to become the man I was today.

He showed me the beauties of this world and turned everything I feared into something I could conquer. He always faced his problems head-first, no matter how frightening they could’ve been, even if it meant confronting the man in the mirror.

There wasn’t a single thing I felt like I couldn’t achieve with Arthur at my side, and now that the two of us were finally preparing to take Atticus down for good, part of me wondered if this could truly be the end.

I only hoped I’d survive long enough to find out.

Bringing myself back to the task at hand, I pulled the trigger on my gun and fired it once more, putting down the last of the Pinkerton agents blocking our path.

The silence following the gunshot seemed to fill the air more than the sounds of any battlefield could, and as I watched the smoke slowly dance away from the barrel of my pistol, I could sense Atticus’ gaze following me from afar.

He was keeping an eye on us. I could feel it. I just had to find him first.

“...Look at all these bodies,” I remarked, examining the Pinkertons that we didn’t kill. “They’re still incredibly fresh.”

Arthur glanced at the surrounding area, reloading his weapons. “That can only mean one thing. Atticus is still here. And he’s waitin’ for us.”

I bit my lip in nervousness, trying to find any clues that could’ve led us to Rose. “Well, let’s just hope we can find him before he finds us. Atticus may be outnumbered, but make no mistake -- he’s not at a disadvantage. If anything, he has the element of surprise on his side. We need to be extra careful.”

Falling silent at that suggestion, Arthur thought to himself for a moment and simply stayed in place whilst I wandered off ahead, only to abruptly stop in my tracks once I realized he wasn’t following me.

I peered over my shoulder, curious to see if he was okay.

“Arthur?” I called out. “Is...something wrong?”

The other man furrowed his brow in concern and gave me a firm stare, squinting slightly in the sun radiating behind me.

His eyes were fixated in a manner that told me he was evidently preoccupied with something else, and judging by his current demeanor, I could tell he wasn’t entirely on board with the plan.

Just what was going on?

“...Are you sure you wanna do this?” He asked plainly, keeping his voice steady. An uncertain sigh escaped me.

“I know it’s...probably foolish,” I conceded, admittedly tempted to turn back, “but even if it gets me killed, this is something I have to do. I can’t keep running away from Atticus like this. Look at all the people who have been hurt because of what we’ve done. Nathaniel, Hosea, Lenny...even you. This war between us has to come to an end sooner or later. Otherwise, it’ll never stop following us.”

Following my words with a heavy heart, Arthur let out an uneasy breath and brought his gaze to my gun, reminiscing about the first few days of our relationship.

It was pretty clear that he never expected that I would someday use his gift to take down my worst enemy, and on top of all that, it was probably safe to assume that he blamed himself for indirectly pushing me onto this path.

I knew how much Arthur beat himself up, after all. He may have never expressed it aloud, but it was rather obvious that he felt guilty for bringing me into such a chaotic lifestyle.

What he didn’t realize, however, was that he actually taught me how to find peace within myself.

As much as I wanted to put a bullet through Atticus’ brain and avenge my family, I still hadn’t forgotten Arthur’s words to me back at the Bastille.

He experienced the same kind of grief I did after his own family was murdered. He shared the same anger. There was no question that Arthur knew what he was talking about when it came to vengeance, and regardless of how crippling my rage could’ve been at times, I didn’t want to lose myself either.

I didn’t want to become a killer.

I didn’t want to become Atticus.

But even then, I doubted I’d ever fully forgive myself if I didn’t at least try to settle things. There was just far too much history between me and Atticus for us to simply part ways, and I refused to pretend as if I could just move on...but that was where Arthur and I disagreed.

Or, at least, I thought it was.

“Okay,” Arthur said at last. “I understand.”

“...Really?” I asked, tilting my head up in surprise.

Arthur nodded, casually resting his hands on his hips. “Yeah. I still don’t think this is the best idea, but all I know is I’d want the same kinda closure with Dutch. That man betrayed me same as Atticus betrayed you, and I ain’t so righteous that I’d pretend I wouldn’t try to get some answers if given the chance. But...just try not to lose your head, alright? I don’t plan on goin’ to England alone.”

I gave him a reassuring glance. “And you won’t. Thank you for understanding, Arthur.”

The outlaw grinned, lightening the mood slightly. “Hey, if we won’t understand each other, who will?” He patted me on the shoulder. “Now, c’mon. We got ourselves a score to settle.”

Climbing further up this magnificent rock formation, Arthur and I kept our eyes peeled as we scanned the surrounding area for any signs of Atticus’ presence, ready to shoot at a moment’s notice.

Ideally, I was hoping I’d at least be able to pull some answers out of the outlaw before anyone got shot, but if there was one thing I knew about Atticus, it was that he had lost any traits of forbearance ever since losing Nathaniel. Most-likely, he wouldn’t even bother to hear me out.

...It was sad, really, to think about how far our friendship had fallen. When I first met Atticus, he became somewhat of a paternal figure in my eyes. He never once fell short of the legends that spoke about him, and with every threat that presented itself to him or his son, Atticus only proved himself to be the man that the Wild West truly feared.

Who knew? Perhaps this fight would be over within a minute. Or perhaps, it would drag on for another couple of years. Or maybe, the Pinkertons would surprise us all, and none of us would walk out of here alive.

Really, there was no way to predict how the future was going to play out. But, God willing, perhaps this would finally be the day where Atticus and I put this battle to rest. Far too much blood had already been shed over these past few years because of our feud, and if my time with Dutch’s gang taught me one thing, it was that wounds should never be left to fester.

I didn’t know who was going to die today, but it had to be one of us.

Breaking the silence with an intrusive bang, a single bullet suddenly implanted itself into the ground beneath my feet as a flock of birds spread into the sky, causing me to come to a halt.

I didn’t see anyone in the area who could’ve pulled the trigger just yet, but as the gunshot started to echo throughout the mass emptiness surrounding us, a gentle series of footsteps crept towards me from the side, leading my attention to a rather big boulder up ahead.

It was only a short few meters away and cast a rather tall shadow in its wake, but what came sauntering out from behind it only seemed to blot out the sun even more.

Atticus Rose.

“...My, my,” the solemn man flatly remarked, holding his revolver in my direction. “I suppose the rumors are true, then. The Theodore I know would’ve fled at the first sign of danger. That’s usually his typical response. And yet, here you are -- purposely seeking me out after years of avoiding me like the plague. One could say you’ve grown, Mister Bishop. Perhaps...one could even prove it.”

I clenched my jaw in an effort to remain unwavering, not even daring to take my eyes off Atticus lest he shoot me in the back.

“...You know why I’m here, Atticus.” I replied, barely able to speak above a whisper with how hard my heart was pounding.

The older man’s stare didn’t even shift. “Yes. I do. But before we get to that, I must ask...” his eyes flicked around in curiosity, “where is Rodrick? Hm? What has happened to my friend?”

Arthur jumped in, not even bothering to sugarcoat the truth. “That maniac is dead. I killed him.”

Contrary to what I expected, Atticus didn’t seem shocked by the news. Only disappointed.

“Is that so?” He questioned, afterwards sighing out of dolor. “...I knew it would happen someday, but I suppose you can never truly brace yourself for someone’s death, can you?”

Atticus took a few careful steps towards us, his boots softly scraping on the rock.

“So, you’ve dealt with Mister Kingsley -- as well as the rest of my gang -- and now you’ve come to put out the last fire. Is that it? ...One final fight to be marked in the pages of history? The extravagant end of a journey that will be preserved through storytelling? A glorious conclusion for the benevolent heroes?”

Rose scoffed.

“Well, I for one, have been eagerly waiting for this day to arrive -- I cannot deny that. But I hope you understand, Mister Bishop, that none of this truly means anything.”

I gave him a puzzled look. “What are you talking about?”

Atticus gestured to the world around us. “We’re nothing but a group of outcasts, Theodore. Whether you kill me, or I kill you, none of this will matter. In the end, civilization will only express relief at our demise, and they will happily forget that we ever existed. They’ll say, ‘Good. Let the savages kill each other.”

He let out a deep breath, staring at the ground. “...This is why revenge is pointless. This is why our little war will be no more than a raindrop in the storm to come. Because we mean nothing.”

I furrowed my brow out of frustration. “Then why bother chasing me like this? Why rip the country to shreds in an attempt to track me down? Why kill those who simply wish to protect me if we are ‘nothing?”

Atticus’ expression softened in a forlorn manner, and I could’ve sworn I saw a glimmer of the man he once was buried deep within his eyes.

“...Because I have nothing else to live for.” He answered truthfully. “It may be a mission doomed to end in futility, but this is the only thing I can do, now that Nathaniel’s dead. Just as killing me is the only thing you can do. ...Isn’t that right, Mister Bishop?”

Trying not to lose my resolve, I forced myself to keep my eyes on Atticus and clenched my hand into a fist, admittedly terrified of what was to come.

I wanted to shoot the man. I wanted to shoot him more than anything in the world. But...despite my natural impulses, something just...held me back.

What was wrong with me? Was I afraid of killing a man? I had done it before. What made it so hard to pull the trigger this time?

I supposed it was because I had witnessed Atticus’ past for myself. Sure, I had done my fair share of killing -- unfortunately -- but it was far easier to end a person’s life when you didn’t know their life.

With other enemies, the only thing I knew about them was that they were trying to hurt me. I had no other knowledge or interest concerning their previous experiences, and there had never been a reason for me to find out.

With Atticus, on the other hand...I watched him grow, just as he watched me. He guided me through the world alongside my father ever since I was just a young man, and treated me as if I was a second son.

We bonded over the years. We learned to trust each other. We became a family.

But...ever since Nathaniel’s death, everything just fell apart. Any redeeming qualities that Atticus once had were quickly replaced by a desire for vengeance, and the more he suffered due to his own sins, the more he desperately searched for something else to blame.

And, with time, the blame eventually fell on me.

But now, I realized. Simply pointing fingers at each other was no longer enough to help anything. Regardless of who was truly at fault, or who could’ve prevented this from happening, things had to be settled one way or another.

Atticus would have to kill me, or I’d have to kill him.

This was my reality, and it was time for me to wake up.

“...You murdered my family,” I recalled mournfully, thinking back to those horrible times. “You drove me away from my own home, and you took away the person I loved the most.”

Rose said nothing in response, so I continued.

“You ruined my life, Atticus. But I won’t let you take it.”

Using this opportunity to attack, I moved before Atticus could even have a chance to blink and aimed straight for his head, risking everything in a Hail-Mary attempt to finally finish him off.

As I brandished my revolver, time itself seemed to slow down. There were no second guesses or thoughts of hesitation holding me back, and for the first time in forever, I felt free of myself.

I had no fears, or worries, or doubts...I just did what I had to do, and the world seemed to hold its breath until I accomplished it.

I was finally where I had fought so long to be, and I would be damned if I didn’t take this opportunity.

Slamming the hammer on my gun down, I unleashed an array of bullets into Atticus’ torso as the man’s body jolted violently from the impact, causing him to collapse to his knees.

By now, there were clouds of blood evaporating into the air behind him, and with every second he spent staring at me in shock, the more I could see hints of Nathaniel’s presence lingering in his gaze.

It was the same look Nathaniel had when he knew his death had finally come knocking. It was a horrible sort of realization that carried a genuine sense of dread with it, but to be honest...I didn’t even know if that was an accurate description for it.

I had never been that close to death, after all. Yes, I had experienced a few close calls in my past, but I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how terminating its embrace truly felt. How...powerless it must’ve rendered someone. Especially someone like Atticus.

I mean, this was the same man who changed my entire world. This was the same man who grew up with the outlaws that murdered his parents, and eventually turned their gang into his own. He became a walking legend by the time he was my age, and later sacrificed all that glory in order to raise a family once he grew older.

He lived a life twice as adventurous as those who surpassed his own generation by decades, and yet...here he was. Mere moments away from meeting his maker, all because one person managed to slip through his fingers. All because he made one mistake.

...That was when it dawned on me.

Despite being the center of many legends, Atticus was no legend himself. He wasn’t the devil that civilization made him out to be, nor the invincible gunslinger his men saw him as.

In the end, he was only human. Nothing more than a father mourning the loss of his son, and a reflection of what I could’ve been if Arthur hadn’t been there to guide me.

He was the embodiment of everything I didn’t want to be, and so -- with a single bullet left in the chamber, I steadily approached the dying man as he knelt on the ground and held my gun up to his head, bidding him an incredibly delayed farewell before pulling the trigger one last time.

And just like that...Atticus was gone.

He fell backwards, plunging off the edge of this rock formation and disappearing into the vast nothingness below, vanishing as if he never existed.

Meanwhile, I stood there in disbelief, unable to comprehend what just happened.

Was...was that it?

Was that really the “glorious” moment I had spent all these years fighting tooth and nail for?

Was that all the end had in store for me?

I mean...I just took another person’s life, for God’s sake. I just killed the man who was responsible for all the suffering I’d endured, and yet...everything felt so mundane. So...empty.

The world didn’t realign itself like I expected. Instead, there was a definitive silence looming over us, and with the time I had to reflect on Atticus’ crimes, I simply used it to look at my own.

Goddammit...Arthur was right, wasn’t he?

I couldn’t deny that I felt a new sense of relief now that Atticus was dead, but there was nothing fulfilling about this sort of vengeance. In the end, I only found absence where peace once stood, and rather than falling into a state of serenity, my mind tore itself apart with an eternal list of questions.

It may have been the end of my war with Atticus and his gang, but it was not the end of this journey.

Calmly walking up to me from behind, Arthur placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and gently turned me around, giving me a look that said he knew exactly what I was feeling.

There was a sorrowful glint of familiarity in his deep blue eyes, and without even saying a word, I could tell that he was somewhat disappointed in me for not taking his advice.

But in spite of all that, there was still a faint smile hiding underneath his well-meaning glower.

Arthur understood that even though I made a mistake, the fact of the matter was: Atticus Rose was dead. Rodrick Kingsley was dead. Their entire gang was dead. And as for Dutch, well...we hadn’t seen any sign of him for weeks.

All these men who had pursued us for so long were finally out of our lives, and we were free of them, at last.

For the first time in years...our future was in our own hands.

It may not have been the triumphant victory that I envisioned, but it was a moment worth celebrating nonetheless.

I cupped Arthur’s face with my hands and gazed longingly at him, smiling ecstatically once Atticus’ death sunk in.

“Arthur...” I whispered softly, caressing his cheek, “...we’re free.” A cheerful giggle escaped me. “...We’re finally free!”

Arthur returned the laugh and pulled me into a embrace, holding tightly onto me.

“I’ll be damned,” he said, clearly in disbelief. “We actually did it. We goddamned did it. We’re...we’re gonna free men. We made it.”

I lightly stroked my fingers down Arthur’s bearded jaw and tilted my head in admiration, unable to take my eyes off his adorably crooked smile.

“Thanks to you. I may have killed Atticus, but I never would’ve reached him without your help. I...I owe you so much, Arthur.”

The outlaw beamed at that and affectionately gripped my wrist, offering his own praise.

“Aw, you helped me with a lotta things too, Eddie. Just in ways you don’t know.”

I chuckled, taking a step back from Arthur. “Well, I suppose we can talk about it later. For now though...” I glanced at the southern horizon, “I think you and I have a ship to catch. Shall we be off?”

The other man picked up Atticus’ revolver from the ground and wiped it clean, smirking at me as we took our leave.

“We shall.”

~~~~~~~~~~

From Arthur’s POV

A FEW MINUTES LATER

Gallopin’ freely through New Hanover’s open meadows, Eddie and I savored the natural beauty surrounding us as we steadily made our way to Saint Denis, eager to say goodbye to this hurricane of a country.

At the moment, Eddie’s head was calmly restin’ on my shoulder and his arms were tied loosely around my waist, allowing the poor pianist to finally find some solace in the midst of this mayhem.

I was still attached to the spontaneous nature of America in a number of different ways -- that was true -- but after witnessing the whole showdown between Eddie and Atticus...I couldn’t help but wonder if, perhaps, it was time to leave all this chaos behind.

I mean, I'd be lyin’ if I said I weren’t gonna miss the excitement of livin’ as a gunslinger, but all the violence and death that came along with it -- that weren’t the kinda lifestyle I wanted for Eddie.

He was a good man. He deserved a good future. One that didn’t involve crime, or bounty-hunting, or livin’ in the ass-end of the wilderness. It was my job, as his friend and as his partner, to get serious about settling down and start caring about other people.

Maybe we’d live somewhere in the countryside. Work away from the pandemonium of the cities. Earn our money like honest folk. I didn’t know how the hell England worked, but I was ready to learn if it meant livin’ a free life with Eddie.

He was all that mattered to me now, and Lord knew I had wavin’ this gun around for far too long.

I may have started out my life as a criminal, but it was time for me to move on from Dutch’s society, and pursue a normal career.

I doubted I’d ever truly be a civilized man at heart -- I couldn’t deny that -- but I was always gonna be a free one. And if findin’ my freedom meant giving up my ties to the Wild West, then so be it.

Right now, his was our only path to a stable, secure future...and I’d be damned if we turned back.

#red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #eddie ryan #arthur morgan x male oc #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 story

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crowsent · 5 years ago

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👶,⭐,💘, and💻. Love you!!

thank you for ask anon! writer ask game is here if yall wanna send in something. still taking asks for these btw

👶- advice for new writers =

yall this is hella fucking generic but PRACTISE. theres a reason almost literally every writer on tumblr gives the advise of “practise practise practise” and that reason is it works. practise doesnt mean ‘oh just write bc youll automatically get better over time’ it means ‘write bc if you dont, you wont figure out what you need to improve.’ did yall know that i literally had no sentence variation in the past? i started every sentence with [character name] or [character pronoun] and i didnt realise until i was 15/16 and i only realised bc i started writing a lot.

i think there’s a fear of failure with new writers. there’s this lingering doubt of “what if its not good?” and boy howdy i will answer that question right fucking now. it wont be good. when i compare my current work to my earlier work, my earlier work sucked fucking shit. i spelled soldier with a fucking ‘j’ and i had no idea what the hell a point of view was. and thats okay. whoever tells you that youre going to perfect writing is a fucking liar. there is no perfecting writing. 20 years from now, imma look at the writing from today and im gonna think it sucks shit. writing is a process. its a craft. you get better and better over time and the way you get better is by experimenting w different styles, different genres, different ways of writing.

and the only way you can experiment and improve is through practise. in video games, especially rpgs (which are my favourite kind of video games), you struggle in the early game. youre at a low level, you dont have good equipment, you have a hard time moving to the next area. but the only way you progress is by grinding, gaining levels, and getting stronger. same w writing. if youre a level 1 writer, just starting out, no idea what to do, just experiment. fuck around a bit. write crackships, write rarepairs, write niche self-indulgent reader/character fics. at the end of the day, you should write for yourself. its good and cool if other people like your stuff and validate all your hard work, but at the end of the day, the one who should enjoy your writing the most is yourself.

you WILL mess up and you WILL struggle, but thats the only way you can improve. i struggle with pacing the most. still do. but others might have pacing down pat and struggle instead with word choice or pov or something else. cant figure out where you need to improve if you dont write, so just practise and worry about all the fine print later

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration? =

this is definitely not universal, but i just sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate. cycle through all my emotions and thoughts and filter them out. then i just toss everything out the damn window. like. id just meditate for a while, focus on breathing, on experiencing the present, picture a field and a tree and myself and breathe. thoughts fly by and i let them happen but dont focus on it.

meditating gives me some semblance of emotional control bc i normally have none, and it gives me kind of this space. this safe space that only exists for me and me alone. so i use that space to let the world drift away. just me and my thoughts and sometimes, those thoughts end up being good writing ideas. but i usually meditate for a set amount of time. like 15 minutes or 30 minutes so i dont write until i finish meditating.

then when i get out of my headspace, i open up my laptop and see what i remember. thinking too hard about something causes it to muddy up. same with art. in digital art, artists flip the canvas to refresh their eyes, see if there’s anything weird or wonky about the illustration that they normally dont see bc theyve gotten used to it. flipping the canvas is like giving our eyes a jumpstart and lets us see what we could do better. in traditional art, its turning the canvas this way and that or repositioning yourself. meditating is like that. a break. a cleanse. a kind of pause where you dont think about anything and just try to process what you already have. you relax and kind of let yourself float down a river of thoughts and sometimes, a fish would jump out of that river and youd go “hey, thats a good idea. i should try that” so when you get out of the river, youre refreshed and ready to go.

same principle with showers. more ideas come to you in the shower when you dont have anything to write with bc youre not thinking about it. youre not focusing on finding inspiration or motivation so ideas naturally flow through you. you know that feeling when you want to do x then someone comes along and says “hey you should do x” and suddenly all motivation to do x leaves? same w your brain. focus too much on “i should be writing” or “i want inspiration” and its never gonna come. just let things happen. at least, thats how i do it. some people might get inspiration by reading or watching tv. everyones different so if thats not what works out for you, dont feel pressured to try my method

💘- what’s your favorite AU? Least favorite? =

magic au. specifically fantasy au set in like a pre-modern era. shows like avatar where theres all this magic and fantastical beasts and so on and so forth. semi-modern like six of crows and nevernight are great too. i want that magic to be woven into people’s lives. harry potter is okay but there’s like this separation between magic and muggle. there’s this feeling of “magic” but like as a tool. like a spoon or a gun or a shovel. i want magic au’s that are INTEGRATED with the world its set in.

like in atla, earth kingdom people have trains they move with bending while fire nation people have machines powered by heat and steam. both correspond to their bending and makes sense for the world they live in. but if your plot is like harry potter and its less worldbuilding and more action, then there’s this book series called seasons rising (read it. so good) where there’s a bunch of spells but the spells have character. the people using the spells GIVE it character and it feels much more intimate. pokemon does the whole fantasy mixed w reality better. give two trainers the exact same pokemon and by the time that pokemon reaches lvl 50, its gonna have a different moveset, different fight style, etc bc it was shaped by the world and people around it. i like harry potter but tbh it could have been so much better

for the least favourite au, it’s A/B/O i dont like the whole “omegas are only good for breeding hurr durr” and “alphas are violent and aggressive and cant control themselves around omegas” thing and it squicks me out. major squick. i read the original harry potter squick (THAT one. yeah. you know the one) and i still hate a/b/o more. i get why people like it, and there are one or two fics set in a/b/o au that i enjoy reading, but as a whole, i severely dislike a/b/o fics.

the themes are squick, the character dynamics get so messed up, and shipping dynamics (bc a/b/o fics usually have shipping) just get so blown out of proportion. there are so many a/b/o fics that turn ooc or the character interpretations radically change or something else. no hate against a/b/o fans bc yall are amazing for writing/drawing yalls au. there are things that you can only do in this setting and exploring those things can be incredibly fun for people, but for me personally, its not an au i like to visit.

💻- three works of yours that are must reads =

i. dont know what fandom youre in anon or your genre preferences. so ill just rec you one fic for a different fandom each with kind of different genres. ts masterlist is on my side @hufflepuff-deceit and regular fanfic masterlist is on my writing blog @crownonymous

(BNHA) Viper. its my first serious attempt at fanfic in YEARS and its my baby. currently has 7 chapters, i havent updated it in a while bc im hyperfocused on ts rn, but i love it to bits. its just all of my fav bnha fics crammed into one fic. quirkless kind of villain izuku with stain as a mentor as they work together to bring light to the injustices of hero society and where bakugos bullying has visible and long-lasting repercussions? sign me the fuck up. you can read it on ao3 HERE bc its not on tumblr. kind of fast-paced, has a lot more action scenes than anything else ive written. heavy plot-wise but has a lot of humour and comedy to break things up

(Kimetsu no Yaiba) I Pray To God He Hears You. not related to my other kny fic oleander which is a multichap retelling au. iptghhy is a standalone one-shot and kind of a character study on one giyuu tomioka. i love him so much. giyuu is my baby and i adore him. so of course i wrote a sad fic focusing on him. well technically, the fic focuses on giyuu AND his relationships. SPOILERS for chapters 130 and 131 of the manga. focuses mostly on giyuu and sabito, but there’s a fair bit of giyuu and tanjiro and urokodaki. you can read it HERE bc this is also not on tumblr. also deals with heavy things but more emotion-wise since it doesnt have that much of a plot. loss. grief. moving on. survivors guilt. that kind of stuff. very sad. hurt but with comfort, especially at the end.

(Sanders Sides) Logan’s Birthday Fic: Logicality. just what the title says. i wrote 5 different fics and published them all on logans bday but the logicality one received the most feedback and honestly? the cutest of the bunch. its gonna be crossposted onto ao3 but for now, you can read it HERE on my ts sideblog. theres no plot since its literally just domestic and relationship fluff. and puns. patton is in the fic, theres gonna be puns. nothing but good things and warm feelings bc logan deserves it.

thank you so much for such interesting asks anon! i enjoyed answering these. have a lovely day!

#crowsas answers #kny #bnha #sanders sides

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