#i cant live with this knowledhe but im not manahinf to repress it
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hi <3
#cant stop thinking abt cant stop thinking abt all those horrid things he did since those memories came back today and i feel so sick#every second im not actively distracting myself my body jst starts shuttign down and i cant see straight or think abt anttjing else#hebmakes me feel so sick#so rotten so ruined#why did he do those things#i gave him everything i could i tried so hard to be good i was obedient and kind snd helpful#why does it always end up like this#my body never forgot those things he did#andnnow my mind cant forget eit#either#they all fo this#every time it ends like this#dvery one i let in everyone i try so hard to trust they all take advantage of it#i cant live with this knowledhe but im not manahinf to repress it#and i cant show it bc if i so he'll get mad like that again he'll fet so mad#he scares me so much#why do i care about him why do i want to be good why do i feel its all my fault why do i want to try so hard to be good enough to be cared#about my him whej hes never given a fuck about me and only ever used me#hes a good person rigjt everyone likes him right#so it has to be me#it has to be me that causes him to become that person#to do tjose things#and i let him#he can ruin my body and my mind if it'll mean he stays#i know its all my fault#i must want this#sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick#i feel so sick im so afraid to go to sleep because i'll dream about it again and i'llnonly remember more#moss.exe#repetition tw
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