#i cant function i had too much coffee

[bunnihearted]

🤧🐀🌧️🌊

[notanotherblorbo]

The problem with having friends is that I want to hang out all the time and do things for 1 million years but I am also. Tired. And having a job. And having a family that has a bunch of shit going on all the times.

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

If you do HC can you do HC about dating canon Levi and also Eren if you write for Eren?

anon, i really, really tried to come up with some for eren, but unfortunately, i don't think i can write/produce eren content that would be satisfactory and i don't want to provide something half-baked!!!

i hate being someone that writes for only one character, but i don't feel like i can do other characters justice

i'll still provide some for levi because levi brainrot hours are 25/8

also my GOODNESS i'm sorry it took like a month for me to write this, my brain is clearly not where it needs to be. i also went from i cant think of any :((( to pumping out like 5 without thinking why does my brain have to be like this a;ldkfj

Dating Canon!Levi Headcanons

➼ levi's love language is acts of service. we all know this. although he's not against quality time or physical touch, if you're having a hard time, you bet you can expect him to do something out of the way for you. stressed about work? he'll happily bring you a warm cup of tea as you work. got injured after an expedition and want to go outside but can't? this man will literally carry you to the top of the wall if he knew it would make you happy ➼ levi wouldn't be too thrilled about you being on the scouts, but he's not going to make too big of a deal out of it. after you all, you were an adult and you could take care of yourself. that wouldn't stop him from worrying about you when on the battlefield, though, especially after the 57th expedition ➼ if something did happen and you got hurt or levi thought you had died while outside the wall, it would shake this man. he'd either be by your side constantly or not be around at all. he'd need time to sort through all the troubling emotions that popped up within him when he thought he'd lost you. ➼ he'd eventually process, though. and when levi comes back to you, you can expect some pretty protective behavior for a little while. he won't do anything too explicit or out-of-place, like taking you off missions, but he would use his status to see if maybe he can nudge erwin just a bit to see if you could at least be closer to him during the next expedition and vice versa ➼ when you're on breaks between expeditions, levi would like to take you on top of the walls during sunset to stroll across it. it was away from the hustle and bustle of the villages within the walls and provided the two of you with some much-needed private time. ➼ i know there's a trope of you and levi needing to sneak around because you can't be dating while both being on the scouts but i dont think that has to be true. i think you'll definitely have to re-evaluate whether you can function the same on a battlefield, but i don't think erwin or pyxis are the type to keep you separated from one another unless there was an explicit beneficial reason to. ➼ after the hole in shiganshina is sealed and ventures outside the walls were possible, he'd also take you to the beach since it was a sight neither of you had gotten to explore before. levi wasn't too big of a fan of it—wet sand = mud after all—but he liked the time that he spent with you and watching a smile appear on your face every time he brought you there was enough for him to bear with it ➼ if you went with him on the marley trip before the raid on liberio, he'd love it when you dragged him to the various dating locations, grabbing ice cream, exploring tea shops, coffee shops, etc. levi might not vocalize it, but you'd be able to tell by the way his furrowed eyebrows softened or the edges of his lips slightly twitched into a small smile, or how you'd just be waiting for him and he surprises you by showing up with two ice cream cones.

y'all i really want to write a marley date scene al;jfslkd #: @chaotic-on-main @romantichomicide95 @lovolee3 @svftackerman @levisbrat25 @leviismybby @idkks4m @moonmalice @levis-squishy-cheeks @roseofdarknessblog @anviacker @aam1na @luvjiro @noctemys join my tag list!

[tartigglez]

Hello tumblr user that I don’t know

May i please suggest Zhongli and the orange heart emoji? xoxoxoxoxox

~tulip anon (i cant get to my emojisss)

"ten-twenty"

tartigglez 100 follower event!

・❥・hello dear tumblr user who i also don't know! i hope this is satisfactory

・❥・zhongli x gn!reader

・❥・0.5k

・❥・zhongli is sick (poor babie), food (soup for sick!li), zhongli doesn't understand mortal sickness, modern au, (idk why i'm warning for this but some people are grossed out by it) li blows his nose at one point

zhongli x 🧡

as an archon, sickness did not apply to zhongli. it was a problem that he never faced. so when his mortal form came down with a case of the cold, it was quite literally the most dramatic he had been with you in a very long time. 

it was actually quite funny, hearing his voice go all nasally and having such a graceful and uptight man laying on your sofa as you made soup for him. of course, he didn’t find it very funny when you giggled at him. 

“dear~ please stop laughing, i feel so… what’s the thing you say? ippy?”

you couldn’t control your laughter, “icky, zhong. icky.” of course you wouldn’t laugh at him if something was seriously wrong, but right now he was just a little under the weather, and would be walking around liyue like nothing had happened in a couple of days time. 

“i finally understand what you mean when you say that. it’s not nice” 

“i know its not nice dear, here.” you brought a bowl of the soup over to him, as well as a box of tissues. giving him a moment to sit up, you got the thermometer off the coffee table and checked his temperature again, and to your surprise it actually wasn’t too badly out of range. then you handed him the box of tissues so he could blow his nose. 

“so, what is it i do again? just, exhale into it?” gosh he was clueless, how adorable. then again, how could you blame him? it's not like archons are built the same as humans, nor do they have the same bodily functions or needs, it's just a change for him, that’s all. 

“yes, but hard, so you can get all the icky out”

“i can’t help but feel like you’re using that word wrong” 

you looked at him with mock insult, mouth wide as you placed your hand on your chest. “well excuse me, master of linguistics!”

“haha~ i jest my dear”

after eating the bowl of soup, and making yet another pathetic attempt at blowing his nose, zhongli asked you to come back into the living room, inviting you to sit beside him, which you humbly declined, much to his dismay. opting to sit on the armchair opposite him instead

“dear, why won’t you sit near me?”

“‘li, you do realise… how sickness spreads… right?”

“uhm… yes”

“tell me how”

“well, when mortals…”

“when mortals…?” you gazed at him, raising an eyebrow.

“fine, it is in fact… a gap in my knowledge. but, i did read somewhere, that a true loves kiss cures all ails”

“archons, ‘li. you do know those books are fiction right?” you giggled at him again, laughing at his cluelessness. for someone who has spent his whole existence protecting mortals, he doesn’t seem to know much about their actual workings.

“uhm… well… you should try it anyway! kiss me better!”

let's just say, the day ended with a very long winded biology lesson about the transmission of viruses....

© tartigglez, 2023. do not copy, translate or repost

[nhasablogg]

I dont wanna monopolize all your prompts but maybe a short one where Spencer won't/cant go to sleep/is drinking too much coffee to stay awake so someone tickles him to tire him out? Or just to convince him to get some actual rest?

-M

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Characters: Hotch, Reid

A/N: This is probably ooc, but I don't CARE I wanted to write about Hotch and Reid. Also tweaked the prompt a little, hope that's okay!

Words: 1.3k

Hotch didn’t make it a habit to profile his profilers. It didn’t seem ethical, especially not if it didn’t affect their abilities to work. Which was exactly why it took him slightly too long to realize that Reid was sleep deprived.

“How many hours of sleep per night does a person need to function normally?” he asked him that afternoon.

Reid looked up from his paperwork, one hand gripping his fifth cup of coffee. “Between seven and eight depending on age.”

“I see. And how many do you get on a nightly basis?”

Reid straightened, his lips pursing. “I sense I made a mistake.”

“How many, Reid?”

“Mmm.”

“Reid.”

“Maybe two?”

“Two?”

“Not every single night of my life!” Reid scrambled to add. “But. Recently.”

Hotch rubbed at his temples. “Jesus. For how long?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Reid. You need to lay off the coffee.”

“It’s not because of that,” Reid said, holding up his hands. “It’s the only way I can focus during the day. It doesn’t matter how tired I am at night. I just can’t seem to sleep.”

“Nightmares?” Hotch remembered when Morgan had approached him about it a few years ago, when Reid’s nightmares had started.

Reid shrugged. “Partly. I’ve been able to handle them before, though.”

“We experience new things all the time. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if you find it harder now.”

“I’m not ashamed.” But he wouldn’t meet Hotch’s eyes now, turning back to his pile of papers.

Hotch huffed, wondering how to approach this. It wasn’t as if he could physically make sure Reid was sleeping.

Unless…

“I want you to take a nap right now.”

Reid turned back to him. “Sorry?”

“We have a couch and a quiet room for a reason. This job’s demanding. I order you to go to sleep.”

Reid held up his cup. “But I’m five coffees down,” he said weakly.

“Then starting tomorrow you’re not allowed to have any more coffee past noon and will take a nap after lunch.”

“Sir, with all due respect-”

“No arguing.”

Reid’s mouth snapped shut, but Hotch caught him mumbling something along the lines of “Morgan will tease me to death” as he left him.

And Morgan did, stopping only when Hotch shot him a look the next day. “I think I should enforce this rule on everyone if I’m being honest. I doubt you’re taking care of yourselves as you should.” Everyone squirmed, refusing to look at him. “Hm. Reid, come on, the room is ready for you.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. You look exhausted as it is.”

“I’m fine, Hotch, I promise.”

“Didn’t I say no arguing?”

Reid sighed, following Hotch into the room. It was nothing special really, but it had a couch by the wall, a table and a chair for when you needed complete privacy while working or eating, and a small window with the blinds closed, just in case you needed daylight. Hotch rarely was in here, and he had no doubts his agents barely knew of its existence.

“There’s blankets and extra pillows,” he said, pointing to a basket. “You get an hour.”

“What if I can’t fall asleep?” Reid asked quietly, arms crossed. Holding himself rather than displaying defiance, Hotch noted.

“Just resting is also good for you.” Hotch softened, taking in the young agent. How much he’d seen much too young. “Please try, Reid. Please.”

Hotch left him before he could reply.

*

Reid found him 27 minutes later, hair somewhat unruly and his eyes containing something that nearly scared Hotch a bit. “I can’t. Hotch, I can’t.”

“Reid, Reid, calm down. What is it?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Reid-”

“I just can’t, I-” He ran a hand over his face. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

He saw the frustration in the kid now. How he probably spent weeks trying and failing to get the rest he needed. How that was slowly etching itself into his bones and spilling over.

Hotch sighed, wondering if he was crossing a line. “Come with me.”

They went back to the room and Hotch had him sit down next to him on the couch.

“Relax,” he told him. “It’s okay. I want to try something.”

“Okay.”

“I do this to Jack when he can’t sleep. I know you’re not a child,” he added when Reid opened his mouth. “But I think this could help as long as you’re not uncomfortable with me touching you.”

“Uh.”

“Or we can get someone else to do it. Maybe Morgan.”

“What exactly do you have in mind?”

“Jack relaxes when I stroke his back,” he explained, finding himself smiling softly. “I figured sometimes you just need to know that someone is there. It also helps you relax.”

Reid exhaled. “Is that- something you want to do for me?”

“Of course.” Hotch said it with no hesitation, although still wondering if it was appropriate. But their job literally involved them sleeping and eating and crying around each other. He saw no reason why this would be different. “If you want me to.”

“I guess it can’t hurt,” Reid mumbled, suddenly blushing and turning away from him. “I, uh, should I lie down?”

Hotch hadn’t thought of the details. “Yes, I’ll- I’ll sit on the chair.”

“Okay.”

It was awkward, as they shuffled to get in position. Hotch wheeled the chair over, realizing it was probably much too high for him to comfortably touch Reid, but it would have to do. Reid was facing the back of the couch, visibly tense and waiting for Hotch to approach.

“Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Are you gonna keep doing it until I fall asleep? Because that will probably take hours.”

Hotch really hadn’t thought this through. “I’ll do it for a bit just to help you relax, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m gonna touch you now, okay?”

“Okay.”

It was strange, to be petting your co-worker, but to be fair it wasn’t the strangest thing he’d done for this job. Reid lay completely still as Hotch let his fingertips run over his back, over his spine and shoulder blades and the nape of his neck. He shivered slightly, which made Hotch smile. Despite everything Reid hadn’t lost his humanity.

“How’s that?”

“Feels good,” Reid mumbled. Hotch could imagine him blushing, eyes closing and mouth slightly agape.

“And a little weird?”

Reid breathed out a laugh. “And a little weird,” he agreed.

Hotch laughed too, running his fingers down Reid’s spine toward his lower back. “Well, hopefully you’ll relax anyway- oh.”

Reid had twitched away from him with a yelp, glancing back at him briefly enough for Hotch to catch his panicked expression. “Uh.”

“Did I cross a line?” Hotch asked, equally as panicked.

“No, no, I just- Ugh.” He turned back around, pressing his face to the couch. “I think I’m good now, sir, thank you, you can leave now.”

“Reid, what-”

“I’ll fall asleep in no time.”

“Reid.” Hotch grabbed his arm. “What happened?”

Reid sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“If I overstepped-”

“You did nothing wrong, it just tickled.”

“Oh.”

Oh.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish.”

“How could you have known?”

“I’ll be more careful. Is it just your lower back?”

Reid didn’t reply instantly. “My sides. Back ribs. Shoulder blades if you’re being very gentle.”

“I see.”

“Neck too.”

“So I have about one fourth of your back that’s safe to touch,” he joked and Reid groaned, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry. I’ll be careful. Although it would have been fun to hear you giggle.”

“I don’t giggle.”

“I’m sure that’s a lie.” In a moment of rare playfulness, Hotch gave Reid’s side a poke, earning something akin to a shriek. “Sorry.”

“You did that on purpose.”

“I think I know what to do now next time you refuse to sleep.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. Now be still and let me continue. I promise not to tickle you.”

Reid did. Hotch deserved a medal for keeping his word.

[lazycats-stuff]

I have a stpry idea for you.

The Corinthian x male reader.

Yn had a really bad day, like really really bad, so when he got home he gave Corinthian the silent treatment. The Corinthian has tk use his southern charmᵗᵐ to get Yn to talk.

You got it Anon!

Summary: (Y/N) is having a bad day at work, so much that he ignores everything and everyone. Corinthian included. Corinthian is not having it and decides to use his southern charm to get him to talk.

Warnings: None.

(Y/N) sighed, for the nth time this day. There was so much work for one person. He truly needs a raise or a new job. If he gets a new stack of papers, he is going to set this place on fire. He can't do any paperwork anymore. He truly cant. And it seems that he needs to stay late. For the 3rd time this week. Overtime that is not paid.

Welcome to Hell.

He sighed for the nth time today, refusing to look at the big stack. He looked up and froze once he saw an intern with a huge stack of papers, heading towards his desk. He looked up to the ceiling, praying to whatever deity is willing to listen that he doesn't stop by his desk.

And of course, the intern stops by his desk.

" I'm sorry mister (L/N). "

" I don't blame you, I blame our boss. " (Y/N) said, standing up.

He went to the break room, leaving the intern behind. The poor kid is not blame here and he didn't want to snap at him. He couldn't do that to the kid who simply wanted to earn some money and get some experience.

He opened the door to the break room, but jumped back once he felt bumping into somebody. With a hot cup of coffee in their hands. He hissed in pain as he felt the hot coffee on his skin, even through the fabric of his shirt. He quickly moved the damp patch away from his stomach, trying not to get a 1st degree burn.

" Shit! " (Y/N) cursed at the coworker.

The coworker started apologizing and (Y/N) simply accepted, moving into the break room, quickly taking napkins and wiping the coffee of off his skin. Why is this happening to him?

He quickly washed it off and looked at his shirt. The big brown smudge bothered him. He frowned at the smudge. He was going to burn this place down one day.

" Shit... " He said to himself.

Once he was done with the half the stack of papers, he was packing up to go home. He stayed an hour late and he was exhausted. For the 3rd time this week. He has just hoped to leave because he didn't want to see the boss, he didn't want to get any more work at this point.

" (Y/N), just the man I was looking for. " He said, walking up to (Y/N).

(Y/N) didn't say anything, he simply nodded in acknowledgement. He didn't want to say anything rash and he definitely didn't want to snap at the man. He does sign his paychecks after all.

" I need you to stay behind tomorrow as well. "

" Well sir, if those hours are not going to be compensated, I'm not going to stay behind. I am exhausted and I don't feel well. "

His boss seemed shocked to hear him say that. It seems that he didn't hear anybody say that to him.

" We are already short staffed as it is (Y/N)! You can't bail out on us! "

" Well, that is not my fault, that is your fault. And my health is more important then to pay for your mistakes. Now, if you are going to excuse me, I am leaving. Good night. "

(Y/N) quickly left, not wanting to continue this conversation with his boss. He simply wants to crash right now. He frowned once he exited the building, but couldn't find his car keys, but then remembered. The car was at the mechanic's. Shit. This is going to be a long walk back home.

He sighed and got started. He looked up to the dark sky. It was far too dark for his liking. He could only hope that the rain doesn't fall right now. The first drop made him lose hope.

Corinthian glanced at the clock, then glancing outside at the rain falling down.

He hoped that (Y/N) is somewhere nearby, knowing that he was at work. He didn't like it. His lover was exhausted and simply moving on autopilot, barely able to function.

He remembers how he had to feed (Y/N) once. He chuckled at the memory and put the book away. Maybe he should go see where his boyfriend, just to make sure...

He didn't have to, since (Y/N) walked through the door.

" Hey darling'. How was work? " He asked from the couch, glancing at the remote, before turning to look at his boyfriend.

He didn't get anything in return. Okay. Maybe he simply didn't hear him. Or maybe he is mad about something. Because (Y/N) usually greets him with a kiss and a hug. No ifs or anything like that, Corinthian always get his hugs and kisses.

He frowned once he hear a sniffle in the bathroom and then the shower. Okay, something has happened to (Y/N). He needs to break him out of the trance and make him talk.

After the shower, (Y/N) moved to the bedroom, sniffling on the bed, seemingly forgetting that the Corinthian was in his apartment, worried about his lover.

He needs to get him to talk. So, he is using one of the things that he knows will make him talk.

His southern charm. The one he uses to seduce and make (Y/N)'s knees wobbly.

" Why darling, what's got you so worked up? Hmmm? " Corinthian asked, sitting down next to (Y/N)'s lying form. (Y/N) curled into himself more, trying to make himself smaller.

" Did something happen at work? Did somebody tried to do something to you? Do I need to kill somebody honey bun? "

Corinthian smiled when he heard a watery laugh from (Y/N).

" What happened hun? If you need me to kill somebody, I will. "

(Y/N) moved to lay his head down on Corinthian's lap. Corinthian got the hint and started scratching (Y/N) as if he is a cat. Behind the ears, or caressing his head.

" Now, what happened? "

" I had so much work today, then I got coffee spilt on me and my boss wanted me to stay behind tomorrow... And I told him no, then I got soaked by the rain... And... I'm sorry for ignoring you. "

" Don't be hun, it's normal for wanting to shut off. But just know, if you need a talk, I am right here. "

He moved his hands down to caress (Y/N)'s face.

" I know... I know. "

[chososcamgirl]

HEHYEHYHEYE SIGMA ALPHA IYAAA DAILYY CHECK INN‼️‼️🔥 I HOPE UR VERY SKIBIDI TODAYYYYY

ITS 10PM HERE AND I WAS ON A GRINDDDDD I HAVE LIKE A MILLION TESTS AND QUIZZES COMING UP BUT I LOWK FEEL BURNT OUT FROM HW, MY SCHOLARSHIP COMP, WORK N STUFF SO ILL PROB STUDY TMRWWW..

ITS SJAP SUNDAYYY AYYAYAYYSDYYAYAYSYA SO EXCITEDDD I NEEDED THIS AFTER A LONGGGG DAY SINCE I FEEL SO BURNT OUTTTTT BUT ITS WORTH IT SINCE I GOT MY SHIT DONE ‼️🔥🐺

UGHHH WOKE UP TO A NEW CHAPTER AND STARTED FROTHING AT THE MOUTHHH SO HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON CHAPYER 7🙏🙏‼️🔥😼😼

TRIDANT BLOWING UP⁉️⁉️😣😣 SIGHHH IG WE CANT GATEKEEP INUMAKI ANYMORE 💔💔💔 SIGHHHH… it’s okay.. I’ll hide him in my attic so no one else can see him 😈😈… BUTTTTTT THEM BLOWING UP WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN.. THEYRE GETTING THAT BAG FSS 🗣️🗣️

@/megumism’s comment on not wanting tridant to blow up is SOOO REALLL LITERALLY ME WHEN I SEE MY FAV SMALL ARTIST BECOMING TIKTOKIFIED AND THEN EVERYONE STARTS CLAMIMG TO BE A DAY 1 💔💔💔

THE DRUNK TEXTTINGGG OH MY LORDDD MEGUMIS SUCH A RED FLaG I HATEEEE HIM FOR THAT.. JUST CUS HES HOT DOESNT MEAN HE GETS AN EXCUSE TO BE A BITCH.. ONLY WE CAN DO THAT ☹️😡🔥 AND THE BRIDAL SHOWERRRRR ARGHHHH I FEAR WE FUMBLED THE BAG SOOO HARD BECAUSE THE SOON TO BE MARRIED GIRL COULD OF MOVED TO LA WITH THAT FUCKING MONEY I CANT BELIEVE WE LET HER CHOOSE LOVE OVER MONEYY‼️‼️‼️ESPECIALLY IN THIS ECONOMYYY CUS SHE WOULD OF BEEN SETTTT FOR LIFEEEEEEE IF I WASNT FOR US 💔💔 TELL HER WERE SORRYYYY 😣😣

MEGUMIS EGOTISTICAL ASS IS ANNOYING ME SOO BAD THAT I HAD TO STOP READING AND WATCH AN EDIT OF HIM EVERY 5 SECONDS SO I WOULDNT THROW UP BC OF HOW MUCH OF A MISOGYNIST HE IS… IYA HOW THE FUCKKK ARE YOU GONNA GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION⁉️⁉️ ATPP UR DIGGGINGGGGG A GRAVE FOR HIM CUS I SEE NO WAY OUT OF HIS NASTY ASS ACTIONS LIKE GET UPPP YN‼️‼️😣😣

SUKUNA SAYING HE MISSED USSSS OH MY GODDDDSDDMNSNS?!?!?! THE WILLLLPOWERRR WE HAVE TO NOT TEXT HIM BACK IS JUST FUCKING INSANE CUS… ngl… I would fold INSTANTLY… 🤤😫

I WOULDNT MIND GAINING A FEW STDs FOR TOGE PLEASEE JUST LET ME HITTT OMFGGG PLEASEEEEEE MEEEEEE AUFBENENENNEEN PLEASEEEEEEEEE 😫😫😫😫

IF SJAP YN DONT WANT TOGEE ILL GLADLY TAKE HIM IN WITH OPEEENNN ARMS AND LEGS 🤤🤤 heh.. get behind me kitten… the worlds not safe for us alphas… they don’t understand us.. no one will match sjap toges FREAK BETTER THAN ME SOO PLEASEEEE ALL IM ASKING IS FOR ONE CHANCEEE ILL GO BALD FOR HIMMMM USKWNENENE HES SO FINNEEEEEE 🤤😫🤭 I NEED HIM SO BAD HE MATCHES MY ALPHA FREAK SO WELL… also I need to know.. does he have his bowl cut or the cut from the movie 👀😫🤤😍😍 IN SJAP CUS IM IMAGINING HIM WITH HIS CUT IN JJK0 (UGHHH I LOVE THAT CUT SOO BADDDD 🤤🤤)

Mechamaru appearance when?? (AND WILL WE SEE MECHAMIWA CONTENT 🙏🙏👀👀)

UGHHH THIS CHAPTER WASS SOOO FILLING IM FUCKING STUFFEDDDDD THANK YOU IYA SIGMA POO POO I LOVE U 😘 CANT WAIT FOR TODAYS XHAPTER TO BEEE OUTTT IM GIGGLING JUST THINKING ABT ITTT HEHEHEBEHEHEJEJEHHE 🤭🤭🤭

OKKKK SUMMING IT UP NOWWWWW… I SLEEP A LOTTTT CUS IM ALWAYS JUST SLEEPING.. IDK I CANT FUNCTION NORMALLY WITHOUT ATLEASTTT 15 HOURS OF SLEEP 💤😣🙏 WHICH TIES IN TO MY QOTD ANSWERRRRR‼️ I WOULD LIKE TO CONTROL TIMEEE SINCE THENN I COULD SLEEP FOR HOWEVER LONG I WANT 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ AND PLUS MORE TIME TO ROT AND I LOVEEEE PROCRASTINATION SOO IT WOULD BE SO HELPFUL TO MY HORRIBLE HABITS ‼️🙏🔥🐺🐺😈😈

OKOKOKOK AOTD OF THE DAYYYY🔥‼️ COFFEE OR TEA AND TELL ME WHAT TYPEEE (EX: BLACK TEA, EARL TEA, AMERICANO, FRAPPUCCINO, ETC.)

BYEEE ILYYYY IYAAA CANT WAIT FOR WHEN THE CHAPTER WILL BE POSTEDSDSNSNNSNS‼️🙏🐺🔥😈

- 🐺

HI ALPHA!!🐺🐺

DAILY CHECK IN TIME WHOOP WHOOP!!🙌🙌 i am feeling VERY skibidi today thank you very much🙂‍↕️ I HOPE YOU ARE TOO🫵

aw sorry to hear that alpha :( don’t worry! burn out is normal so u should always remember to take breaks in between and don’t overdo it! your health is ur first priority <3 also manifesting AMAZING grades on the tests trust🙂‍↕️ me and pack got you‼️🫡🔥 SJAP SUNDAY IS A GO!!! now we wait *taps foot* 6 days… just imagine sjap weekend as a reward for the school week AND NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO GO SO INSANE TRUST IM BITING MY NAILS RN…

THOUGHT TIME‼️🐺 LMFAO the gatekeeping is so real i support you 100% YESS me w literally everyone these days i have a love hate relarelationship with tiktok💔 city girls were down 3000 when we talked the bride out of marriage on GOD that’s the worst thing ever… another fallen soldier chat😓😓😓 it’s okay we will rise like the phoenix and prevail.. somehow…

LMFAO THE EDIT WATCHING IM CRYING UR SO REAL ALPHA. don’t worry tho.. this is only the beginning. TRUST THE PROCESS AND LET ME COOK👩‍🍳👩‍🍳 no same like i would fold and retract for sukuna im sorry. anything for him.🙏🙏 YOU AND TOGE IM CRYING ALSO YES IN SJAP HE DOES HAVE JJK0 CUT IM SORRY BUT HE LOOKS SM BETTER IM THE MOVIE. idk what second year toge hair was awn💔 but it was NOT it. mechamiwa appearance in the later chapters trust 🙂‍↕️🫵

THANK YEW ALPHA!! UR COMPLIMENTS FILL ME WITH LOVE <33 OOO GOOD SUPER POWER THAT WOULD B MY THIRD CHOICE ACTUALLY BC I LOVE SLEEPING‼️ i could sleep for 3 consecutive days if i could… but alas… i would get my ass beat unfortunately…

AOTD‼️ coffee DEFINITELY and i’m a sucker for an iced latte or a mocha😭 basically anything sweet bc i do have a sweet tooth :3 WBY!!🫵🔥🫡 ILY ALPHA <3

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[semiotomatics]

putting my "personal spewage" tag to good use

so this week has been. good. like really good. ive been sleeping so much better (like, ive been able to fall asleep in under 30 minutes for the last 3 nights!! and have stayed asleep for 10 solid hours every night!! thats unprecedented!!!) and feeling less stressed (still stressed, but less stressed) and have had more energy (tho that could just be the coffee ive been drinking lol) and just generally feeling good. like, i had an idk ~a ha moment the other day where i realized theres a difference between my mood and my function. bc, altho historically both my mood and my function have been low, lately only my function has been low. and it still is, im still struggling to do even basic self-care/body maintenance/just general life tasks, but ive been getting better at it (ive eaten at least one full meal a day! i brushed my teeth for no other reason than because i knew i needed to!) and not wanting to die has really helped with that. it still feels way too early to declare a victory and i have major stressors on the horizon that im waiting to see how they will affect me, cause im kind of in a stressor lull right now (money's okay, family's okay, work's okay, etc) which i keep thinking is why im feeling relatively okay, but still. i feel okay. thats amazing. tho its also kinda terrifying and i keep thinking "oh god i feel okay does that mean i have to go back to work what if i freak out again what if i cant handle it" etc etc but like. i keep reminding myself i dont have to go back to work until im legitimately ready to go back, no ones going to force me to go back when im not ready to, and im hoping to go back part-time anyway so that its easier on me, which will help, so. yeah. hopefully it'll be okay.

but anyway, im just so excited at some of the thoughts and feelings ive had recently. mental illness is so good at making you forget what it feels like to be happy and healthy and alive and in love with the world. i had been stuck in that dark cloud for so long, and i still don't feel like the skies are totally clear, but im seeing hints of blue through the grey and its amazing. i want to love being alive. i want to look forward to my future. i want to be happy. i really really hope this lasts and i get to just be happy.

[magpigment]

duck or ape by roar and i dont wanna die by the unicorns are SUCH good songs for william my god!! i already had those songs on my radar but man do they fit him. Also i would love to hear any and or all of your reasoning for your william playlist!! 👁

this got longer than i thought and i still didn’t finish it so i might go back to this at some point and expand upon or add certain things BUT for now, enjoy!

ok so! not all of these will have explanations, and some will only have explanations, but most will have lyrics that specifically remind me of wiwi and a brief explanation. hope this is cohesive enough!

william wisp:

dead now by forrest day

ok listen. listen listen listen. this entire song? literally william to a T.

'Save the rest for another day like this Your mind has gone blank, you're dead now You're dead now

The flames I lack, maybe never coming back Under attack, I'm dead now I'm dead now

You creep, you've grown too cold to sleep Your eyes grow wide, you're such a creep You've reaped, you've sown, your own you keep You creep, you freak, you've blown it

You're alone, you're alone, you're alone, you're alone You're alone, you'rе alone, you're alone, you'rе alone [cont.]

All right, you've grown too old to fight Your life is shown in different light You laugh and toast your final night You laugh too late, you've blown it'

this entire song fits not only his first death but his slow loss of function over the next few years and his general uncanny effect on other people and how they perceive him AND how he perceives himself. i cant even articulate how much this song IS HIM in my brain.

momento mori by fish in a birdcage

'Like a muzzled hound I'm tied and bound A wild beast crying for release I want my mouth so I may howl And share with silence of the trees Ashes to ashes dust to dust Filling up my coffee cup One way to shake me up I never wanted to sleep My bones became a drip Now that I've had my sip After a little taste I never wanted to sleep'

ONE: wolves. TWO: in my head this is more or less how he never wanted his powers, much less to die for them, and how he tries to cope w them after the fact

oh! starving by car seat headrest

'Goodbye, secret files When I'm gone, all this information will die'

'Cats crawl into gutters Just at the sight of me You guys got mad skills I just got mad (I'm not happy unless I'm unhappy)'

this bit specifically is very william to me, because like. especially in early seasons he was pretty vocal about his view of himself as just some guy vs dakota and vyncent, with his powers not being some grand thing and his own struggles with heroism and morality. you guys got mad skills is to me about how he views dakota and vyncent, and i just got mad is about how his own abilities only ever served to make him worse off and how he feels like he could never use his own powers for good things (ep31-35 for reference)

i hate living by car seat headrest

'I wish I was drunk I wish I weren't here I need to be more drunk Or be less here And when the cops came Hiding in the back of the closet And these people would not stop laughing They could not shut their mouths Oh Wasn't I the life and soul? No no no'

'You wouldn't think having a good time Would be so goddamn hard You wouldn't think having a good time Would be so goddamn hard You overthink, you don't have a good time You just wait for it to end You don't think you'll ever try something as Meaningless as this ever again'

the comfort of a laugh track by roar

Why is it so hard to speak To people I don't know Is it something that you learn When constantly alone? When did I become a man Trapped inside a ghost?'

'If you could only see me now I know I'd disappoint somehow I'm stuck inside a fantasy Where I could be all you would need'

'Will I live in shame of the things in the past that I should have done for you? And is it possible to forgive all the ignorant ones if they're just too young?'

'Fake love, yeah, you know you'll be truly missed Fake love must be some kind of abstinence Let's not make much more out of all of this Let's not, but we still can pretend we did'

poor grammar by roar

'I can't see you when I need to How am I supposed to get through? Method-actor, suffering Try repeating once again, this time with feeling Premeditated like some sick joke Waited all night for you Waited all night for you'

to me this entire song really fits william and vyncent

duck or ape by roar literally this entire song. self explanatory lmao

nights like these by pigeon pit honestly this song just gives me the vibes of the three prime defenders just being traumatized kids and comforting each other and stuff, or specifically during the timeskip when it was just will and vyncent just trying to cope, and then dakota trying to find his place with them again after he gets back.

saintly rows (oh oh) by dear and the headlights OK SO. RELIGIOUS TRAUMA WHO?? not to mention the entire song heavily uses death and religious metaphor near interchangeably, and ghosts are used largely as that metaphor. it lends itself very well to his religious upbringing (even if it's not a super large focal point of his character but clearly both his parents are religious, his first idea for his superhero suit had religious imagery which he ended up not going with, and he, with dubious canon implication, has some sort of actual physical aversion to various religious artifacts or rituals such as bibles and praying, along with how much focus charlie puts on the fact that william keeps bringing up that there is no god) which is super super interesting to me. also the song has several allusions to being unable to sleep, paranoia, loss of oxygen and by extension the ability to breathe, 'Caskets for hands bury your plans right next to your songs', 'Out come the gaunt ghosts of your thoughts,' and generally being plagued by some sort of ghostly figures which cause paranoia which in william's case could be the wisps or some sort of extension to how he perceives himself. either way i think the song fits a lot!

im not crying. youre not crying, are you? by dear and the headlights

'Did the seesaw nights put their hands on you? I can't really say, I can't really say Are you swinging from the eaves in a tasteful noose? I can't really say, I can't really say'

in my mind this section fits with how he died the first time, following the wisps in the woods and falling and not wanting to fully admit to himself that he died that night

'You're following a flashlight down utility halls And then you mumble to yourself that this has all been your fault And oh, you're not laughing, you're not laughing, are you?'

this fits with his incessant need to solve mysteries and his tendency to blame himself

'Then the howls and moans pour from the black and it's a sea of blank faces straight to the back Aggressively mediocre in every single way Yet you're the only reason that they came'

this fits with when they went to the spirit world, his own identity crisis and his feelings of inadequacy in comparison to the rest of the team, and being unable to rectify that his own abilities help, and that even without them his friends would still want him around the rest is just like. vibes? and scenes in my head lol.

harness your hopes - b side by pavement

'And the freaks have stormed the White House I moved into a lighthouse It's on a scenic quay, it's, oh, so far away Far away from the beginning, the shroud is made of linen The yearling took the purse, the goth kid has a hearse Heart-breaking, earth-quaking'

'Minds wide open truly Leisure, a leisure suit is nothing It's nothing to be proud of in this late century And I'm asking you to hold me just like the morning paper Pinched between your pointer, your index and your thumb It's a semi-automatic, believers are ecstatic You see the way they cling, the cold metallic sting And I'm living in a coma for Donna de Varona The harness made of hopes, the lovers on the ropes Nun is to church, as the parrot is to perch And my heart's wide open Truly'

i dont wanna die by the unicorns

'I spotted the glow over the mountain, tonight My turn to turn in just when the weather's getting nice I predict: I die in a plane crash I see it now, I die in a car on tour And there's no one to stop this Nobody to loosen death's firm grip on me Doo doo doo doo I die It's true Doo doo doo doo I die And so do you My prophecy is almost complete My finger's on the pulse (But where's the beat?) We don't wanna die in the ocean (Drifting out to sea) We don't want to die in our sleep (-ing bags) DEATH: buckle up boys, we're going for a little ride Death! I just want one more breath! Can you grant me one more please?'

all the dying by mother mother

this entire song just fits him very well i think? especially with his upbringing in deadwood being able to see things that werent there and being able to see ghosts, and how prevalent death was in his life from even before he died

NOT TO MENTION ITS ALSO LIKE HOW HE VIEWS HERO SOCIETY AND HEROISM AS A WHOLE. and his general viewpoint on his own powers and his disdain for his powers especially in association with mallard etc etc

'When I see the damned in their dire straights Damning all the men with those american names I said don't damn the man, damn your hand For makin' a fist and shaking it all around Damn the hand, damn your hand Oh, you can damn the butchers and damn the beef Oh, you can damn the flies in all the heat Or you can damn the dying and dying and dying ♪ Dying and dying and decomposing Dying and dying's for real Dying and dying and pounds of posy Dying and dying's forever When I hear the crying of a siren in the night I think of piles of writhing people, fighting for their lives I see an image of a body, broken and beet red I hear the acappella angels singing for the dead I think of all the butchers and all the beef I think of all the flies in all the heat I think of all the dirt that lays a bed for bones I think of all the words that get written on the stones I think of all the surf that come crashing over souls I think of all the dying'

figure in the background by snake pool rather self explanatory methinks

friendly neighborhood poltergeist by rory webley

self explanatory also, but imo this fits very well with williams crush on vyncent

villains pt1 by emma blackery

'So I'll go I'm better off alone Run and tell them that the villains on my list They're the reason I've been pulled so low Monster, monster, I feel like such a monster Tell them I've been saved But the devil walks amongst ya, amongst ya I'll be the ghost the haunts ya You've seen my demons but you weren't really supposed to You've got me locked up but I'm not like you I'll be my own escape route, you know I'll get you caught up Got my attention I'll make you my victim'

'I don't feel anything Because I became possessed and obsessed With the idea of revenge Where you going now? Everybody's looking at you 'Cause you set yourself on fire just to light up the room'

youre not welcome by naethan apollo

'I can't believe you used to truly scare me You were like a ghost story told to keep me weary But I never listened, no, I slept good 'til morning And when our paths finally crossed, I didn't heed the warning Then push, push, push, push Yeah, you pushed me to the edge I used to dread the thought of falling quickly But now I just wish that you'd send me off that ledge So I can finally fucking take you with me'

basically this can be about his tumultuous relationship with the wisps, mallard conway, or the hero agency as a whole, or a mix of the three! however, i mostly associate this segment with his tie with the wisps and how badly mallard wants him to embrace it (especially the 'i used to dread the thought of falling quickly' because of how william died the first time, and then the 'now i just wish youd send me off that ledge' with him falling down the slope of morality in e31-33)

dead! by my chemical romance

'And if your heart stops beating I'll be here wondering Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life And if you get to heaven I'll be here waiting, babe Did you get what you deserve? The end, and if your life won't wait Then your heart can't take this Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say, I Think they never liked you anyway'

'Wouldn't it be grand to take a pistol by the hand? And wouldn't it be great if we were dead? And in my honest observation During this operation Found a complication in your heart, so long 'Cause now you've got (now you've got) Maybe just two weeks to live Is that the most the both of you can give?'

'If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing? If life ain't just a joke Then why am I dead? Dead!'

grave digger by matt maeson

'I can't run to you, Father I need love ♪ I can't talk to you, Mother I know it's got you caught up But your sweet sinless sensation is not my style And I'm not giving up But tell me if I run away How long will I bleed? Tell me if I run away How long will I bleed? ♪ Colors blend They're all black and white ♪ Goddamnit, I cannot bend I'm all shriveled inside'

'Ain't no point in tryna pick-a me up when I'm down Yeah, you can stick out your hand And you can lean towards the ground I'll be tryna suck all of the liquid out the dirt Tryna catch a curve Digging my own grave'

hand me my shovel, im going in by will wood and the tapeworms

'My soul was crushed like a tall boy Underneath the boots on the curb And I'm still picking up my molars And putting them back in my face My name was soiled by a last call spill With a backwash swill and the blackout killed me Sober on impact from a fall from grace Take the road on higher ground And tell me, "Don't look down, you'll fall and break your back" But that just reminds me how there's more to be found beneath the black! This is not enough This is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom This is not enough This is not enough to prove it yet No, I need to hit the bottom (Gotta get to the bottom of this) (Gotta get to the bottom of this) (Gotta get to the bottom of this) Take you with me'

'Looking up, we see the point of entry Between where we are and we've been Looking down, I could say Heaven sent me Hand me my shovel, I'm going in!'

'Gotta gotta gotta get, gotta get, gotta get Gotta get to the bottom of this If it kills me!'

this entire song describes william's need to solve mysteries to a T dude.

hope this made some iota of sense, and sorry for the lack of explanation on most, i just couldn’t figure out a way to properly articulate it 😭 anyway hope you enjoyed lol, i’d love to hear others thoughts and additions if they have any!

[bunnihearted]

📖🖊❄️

[azarathedragon]

Gas station/convenience store employees are doing the work of like 6 other people in a day. They are not likely to be afforded a break, or a place to sit.

They are responsible:

food upkeep and availability

food safety and proper sanitization

operating the machines that cook these foods. Do you know what a 500 degrees Fahrenheit oven feels like? To accidentally touch it in the wrong spot? The smell when a bit of food falls off a tray and has to be dangerous scrapped out with the nearest pizza peel?

Cleaning said machines? That it takes a few hours to cool down to a safe working temp, to then be in the most Jojo ass pose to clean it because the damn unit is at an awkward height level

wiping down doors, handles, registers, counters (do you know what 4 hour old soda and slurpee spills is like to clean? DO YOU!?)

servicing fountain/slushee machines. aka if its empty that poor soul has to go drag/carry a a bib (which is basically a 30 pound water pillow) to its rack and fuck with the most jammed up shitty plastic nozzle hookup. its probably gonna rip skin off too in the process because it wont open nicely.

refilling beans/ground in the coffee machines. emptying and cleaning the unit. (dealing with the unit when it decides it doesnt want to work. Or a hose breaks inside and now theres water EVERYWHERE)

stocking supplies for the drinks and food bars

stocking shelves

stocking coolers

stocking cigarettes

maintaining a register. more than likely, two or three registers simultaneously. vaulting the money when the register has too much and it takes. forever.

trash. so much. trash. its everywhere. its never ending. (SIR HOW DID YOU GET THIS 36 PACK OF BEER INTO THE TRASHCAN??? THE LIDS NOT BIG ENOUGH? FUCK! I CANT GET IT OUT. WHYYYYYYYY??????????)

cleaning the bathroom. Yea you can bitch about the state of the bathroom, but that poor worker at the counter? There the one who has to clean that. Everyday. And that bathroom is like that. Everyday. They are one person, working an entire store. They cannot get to it regularly. Management will rip them a new one if the registers are not attended. They cannot be in 5 places at once.

sweeping and mopping the damn place at least ONCE a shift, preferred two but lord knows they do not have the time for that

truck check-in. Pepsi, Coke, beer companies, Frito-Lay, etc. All while dealing with customers.

lottery bullshit

Propane. And every motherfucker who decides to smoke beside the cage. (i personally had one where we had a leaking tank, the Fire Dept out back monitoring the removed offending tank. And i shit you not, a dumb MF smoking next to the cage that had a leaking tank in it not even 15 minutes prior. I about murdered that man.)

the gas terminal operation. some of them are super shitty to deal with and the interface and systems sucks.

wet. sweaty. ass crack money.

the local homeless person who desperately needs anti-psychotic meds but obviouslly doesnt have them because theyre homeless.

the local batshit crazies with some bonkers conspiracy theories. bonus points if management chose to hire said person and leaves you to babysit them because they cannot do the basic functions of the job

counterfeit money. theres a lot. i do not need a magic pen to identify a counterfeit either.

and so so much more, but this has gotten long enough

all while be paid 9-10 bucks an hour :))))))))))

I'm not even kidding I think food service jobs are the hardest customer service jobs that exist and if you have them on your resume long enough that it's clear you could maintain them people should be begging on their hands and fucking knees for you to work for them.

[forestryfae]

god this sucks. like im glad i can finally get rid of all this stuff but tidying is mostly just hard because i have a lot of stuff to put away and not enough space or boxes for it and i just sort of dont know where to put the stuff im done with at.

decisions arent too hard its more difficult when i dont know if i wanna keep stuff or not and i keep going back and forth on it. like yeah sure i Like the thing but do i want to keep it just for that reason? does it have any function beyond looking nice? does it make hobbies or housekeeping easier? i do i really wanna carry it around when i move? where do i put it when i dont use it? can i live without it? do i think ill find stuff i like better than this? is it sentimental and does it evoke any good memories at all or do i get sad looking at it and feel guilty getting rid of it? would i notice i dont own it anymore? did i even remember i had it?

its worse w furniture cus i cant just move or pile stuff up as easily. theres also not much i want to bring. red couch, two identical funky dressers, a desk, a planter, and other than that i have nothing in particular i want. maybe the tv stand, a shelf on wheels and an office chair too but honestly idfk. i havent really used those in a while so do i really wanna bribg them when i dont even know what ill use them for?? i def DO wanna bring my coffee table its v nice and grandpa made it but its rly big

ill need some new stuff, like a bed so i dont have to sleep in the one ive had since i was 12, and a dresser for clothes, a closet for other junk, and ideally a different tv stand with space for my art supples and some dvds and books, and a nightstand. thats about it. so theres just a lot to consider

[k00297635]

Day One

Hello. Today I did a last minute switch from Graphic Design into Ceramics. I was glad I did. We started our day off by looking at some mugs. I was really interested in how much design goes into functional pieces. Some mugs had a wider rim and I never really thought about it but the drink would cool a lot faster as opposed to a mug with a smaller rim. The wider rimmed ones would be better for a tea so it can cool faster and the narrower ones might be better for a coffee. It interesting to think about I suppose. Also, the handles of a mug are roughly double the thickness as the mug so that they can hold the weight of the mug. An uneven handle could lead to to an unbalanced tilt while you're trying to drink your drink and you could spill it. Also interesting. I'm a chronic drink spiller but I found out that the shape of the rim can make it easier or more difficult to drink out of. also how thick the rim is can affect this. This whole time I thought I just had bad aim. Its only now I know that my mouth will only accept a well designed mug. After discussing some different types of mugs we were asked to come up with 10- 15 different designs for mugs!

These were some I came up with. I played with some ideas of funky legs and tulip leafed cups but in the end I thoughts of things I would find useful. I've collected a lot of funky mugs over the years and I am constantly reminded by friends that the funkier the mug is the more difficult it is to drink out of. I thought of this sort of everything bowel/mug. Like a one piece fits all. If you poor and you like to crotchet you could use it to hold you wool and it had a chop stick holder or maybe even a sippy cupped corner for if you're in the go but in the end I thought it was too busy. I thought I would think of the ideas while making but try and just do something organically as it would be the first mug I've ever made. .

I made these by rolling out slabs and letting them get leather hard. Then, I used an opened disposable cup from the canteen as a template. I slipped and scored the sides and then slipped and scored the base and attached it. I was generously with the slip and really let her soak it all up for a strong mug with no holes. I got some fresh clay for the handles and thought it might be fun to make them look like fish. I don't know fish was on my mind, I had been spending a lot of time by the river in Galway so maybe that's where my mind was. Anyways, it took a few goes to get them the right size because if they're too small you cant get your fingers through and if they're too big its awkward to store in your (my) already overcrowded presses.

I also made these. The one with the holes could possibly work as a three holed pin head camera. I also made a little tray with handles and attached some tiny ducks onto it, I remember going to the national gallery with my mother when I was a young teenager to see a Vermeer exhibition and afterwards we went to the gift shop and I saw the most beautiful bowl of my life. The outside was a white glazed stoneware kind of vibe and the inside was a baby pink. On the rim of the bowl was a tiny bird and in the inside there were little bird footprints leading up to it. It was the perfect bowl and I ate every single meal out of it until it was sadly dropped and broke beyond repair. I think about her often. I think the little birds were the perfect touch and I will be adding them to more pieces.

[anicekidlikeme]

Fuck you, Mr. Ireland.

What I am about to do feels like opening the biggest box in a storage room full of neatly packed items. I am going to be embarassed, and teary, but it's okay. Telling stories and retelling stories is such an important impulse, and I must set her free. For whoever is able to find this atleast.

I used to laugh so much that my throat would get sore. And I feel like i was a different woman then and I am a whole other one now. Everyone makes such a big show about being sexually assaulted. They call you brave, they say it is not your fault, and whatever else is in the manual of saying all the right things. Touched, ruined, decreased in value are more like the words I would use, but fuck, sexual assault survivor works too. I still cant find the courage to tell my mother, but it is nice to daydream of a reality where she finds out, holds me tight, says its okay and its not my fault. I want her to say she likes me. But that won't happen.

Therapy helps. It's evident. I have come such a long way from not being able to shower for days, not able to leave the home of my then boyfriend, not wanting to eat. God it sucked. I learned nothing from it. And I want to honor that. I left my friends behind just to run as far away as I could from what I thought was a big danger sign with a bomb on it. It's not so graceful wishing ill on someone, but jeez, I cannot fucking help it. You know he's in Italy right now? Or Spain, or London. Im not sure. He could be fucking anywhere and he'd be standing high and mighty, with so much power over me. I truly believe that if you wouldnt wish the worst on your worst enemy, you need worse enemies. This man is my worst enemy, and sincerely, fuck him. I wonder if he thinks I won. I wonder if he did win. My brain fucking trots every day thinking about that. I get so used to feeling bad sometimes I wish I could just lay down and watch everyday pass. Not reacting.

You wouldnt believe how many hugs I have gotten from my friends since that day, but not one felt comforting. It didn't make me go wow, it feels like im ready to put this past me. To start fresh. I set such a strict deadline for myself for when i should have been fully healed, but oh my god was that a stupid idea and a giant failure. I will probably have moments of grief for the rest of my life, and you know what, I want to fucking honor that too. My boyfriend and I were joking around the other day about what the worst crime ever could be. Of course he went with murder, and its no shocker what I picked. I told him so casually, atleast you get to die and it’s all over when you're murdered. With Sexual Assault, you are a victim forever. Sorry, I meant "survivor". Fucking bullshit word.

I am working on it, and everyday is better. But if anyone would like to hold me all day, wow would that be awesome. I could use a full day of being held. For the longest time, I felt such shame asking my friends for help just for me to be able to function normally. They are truly the most patient, loving and generous people in the world. They protected my heart with such gentleness.

I wish sometimes that I had so much money that I could make everything work out for me just the way I wanted. I choose to go back to New York and live in a large large apartment with plenty of windows. I'd ask Drew if he wanted to come. We'd live close to all my friends, and host dinner parties. Enjoy the city (which you can only do with 2 mountains of cash). In a few years, we'd have a kid, and move to the suburbs. I would love to make babies with Drew. They would be so smart, kind, gentle, loving, and talented. I have never felt that way before for anyone (Sorry past boyfriends). We'd start a cute coffee shop together, and live out the rest of our days with no worry.

Im not even close to having that kind of money, but thats okay. To have people in your life that make you want to imagine your whole future with them is so special. There is no way he won.

Fuck you Mr. Ireland.

[hongjoongscafe]

I am so freaking excited for the next bloody love update 😁 i hope you are doing well ..it is getting kinda hot these days and i have been having too much icecream and iced coffies lol i think i am gonna die ..but it is my guilty pleasure 😅 do you have any favorite flavour you love ? For me it is hard tp choose i can basically enjoy anything as long as it screams ICECREAM!! Get some sleep too incase you are not 🤧 cuz if i dont get 7 hrs of sleep , my body and mind cant function the same ..i look like walking dead 🙂🥲 with the whole dark circles and the concealer thingy ..so dont feel obliged to update ..update if you want to ..i just want to tell you that cuz i feel like it becomes more of a chore than a hobby or escape ..yk like authors just get too deep in this shit that they began to lose themselves and then it just feels burdensome and tiring for them to write ..i just want every writer to get inspired , be happy with whatever she is writing and provide content she wants to not bcz she feels obliged and is overworking herself /himself ☺️ if you are not doing this ,thats completely fine then but i wanted to let you know that you have readers who care about you and also see you as a human being, who is real and living her life not only some tumblr writer who writes dark fics ..❤️ i love your writings

Sincerely

-🧜‍♀️ anon

*Also about the detailed scene of dark lord jeon , i would kill for that please do write that ..dont blame me👁👄👁 even you cant deny that this scenario sounds so hot yet so creepy at the same time shoo

* i dont know if this whole shit is making any sense but english is not my first language SORRY!

Ahhh, really? I'm glad that you are excited🥹. It is getting too hot. Going to college is so horrible these days. I felt like I might pass out due to the horrible heat🥲. I bring my hand fan with me now. Ah, add more water to it as well! Stay hydrated. If it is ice cream, I LOVE chocolate (basic but I love it). And I'm not a big caffeine consumer. So, a nice homemade iced coffee (Indian domestic style) is just perfect😌. I think there are so many flavours to explore when it comes to ice cream, I'm all in for it!

I'm not gonna lie, my sleeping schedule is just so messy. I thought when my classes will start, it will be fine, but nooooo😭. Same girl🥺 I have started to use concealer as well. It's just too much at one time. I appreciate you looking out for me. I'm not gonna lie, these days I'm an emotional wreck. I haven't gotten anything done with fiction. I'm literally writing a line or two every day. You are so true! It does become a chore at one point. I had to step back for a while but now I realized that I do this for fun and I don't earn anything from this and I can delay it and write when I feel like it the most. Slow updates are now my thing. Writing definitely can be burdensome especially when you put in so much effort but the outcome is kinda not as expected. Now I keep my expectations low but readers like you make it much more amazing.

This brought tears to my eyes. I have been so emotional and questioning every single thing in my life. So seeing this ask just made it a whole lot better. I love that you understand that I have a real life and can't be separated from that.

Side note that no one asked: I now have a great friends circle. So, I like to give them some time as well! Anddd👀 my result for the second semester came in a few hours ago, I came third🥹!

Thank you so much, pretty anon! I love you so much 💓💓

Ahhh, I am writing that part. I wrote some of it, rest I will write it tomorrow. I hope you will like it. But you guys definitely have to wait for a week or something (I'm sorry about that🥺)

Girl! Stop! You just made my day. It was perfect! I really REALLY appreciate you. Thank you so much, anon! I hope you have a great day/night💓💓😘