#i cant form words for shit
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Mmm thinking about genderqueer Sirius experimenting with his style and things alike while he figures it out
He doesn't care what other people think, of course, and it's another big 'fuck you' to his parents if they just so happen to see his new articles of clothing, aside from the entire wardrobe they already don't approve of
He cares what the marauders think, though
But he doesn't have to worry about that too long because they'd definitely hype him up the entire time
He'd definitely be nervous at first even though he knows it realistically wouldn't be that big of a deal with them, but the relief and absolute euphoria when they started vocally supporting him is something else
He'd definitely get bolder, wearing skirts and dresses more often but still keeping to what he'd wear before as well
The others would ask questions to make sure he's comfortable (like new pronouns or preferred descriptive words)
And he'd just be over the moon(y).
I personally feel he wouldn't care too much about the pronouns people use for him but will get giddy if one of them used something other than just "he". And a compliment is a compliment no matter what, regardless if it was traditionally femme or masc. (Though I imagine he gets a shy smile when he's called pretty)
#sirius black#the marauders#genderqueer sirius#parents be damned#walburga would have a fit#bro im tired#naptime me thinks#ignore the fact that its 4 am#its naptime when its naptime#i cant form words for shit
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got so into my laughingstock feels that i burnt my fuckign toast
#shit was Black#literally was in my kitchen Wailing about them and forgot the bread slices i put in the toaster oven three seconds prior#s'ok i made a new set but oughhhhhh i am still sooooooo so unwell about them....#OUGHHHHHHH THEMMMMMMM#theyre just... snf.... theyre just two silly goofy guys in love....#silly goofy fruity fellas and they love each other <3#SIDE NOTE GINGER SPREAD ON HONEY/BUTTER TOAST ABSOLUTELY FUCKS TRUST ME ON THIS#absolutely unprompted#but yea i was specifically thinking about that fic i have in my head#yall know the one by now. the one i desperately want to write and I SWEAR I WILL EVENTUALLY#but the fuckin... Misunderstanding... it makes me insaneeeee#its the most unhealthy part of their relationship AND THEY ARENT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP YET#damn theyre so healthy. theyre so. wails screams howls#but howdy being an oblivious idiot to his own emotions is so important to me#mans is whip smart & quick in every other area#but in this One Subject hes dumb as a rock & that hurts both of them <3#but it also turns into something they can cry w/ laughter over later#someone asks how they got together. they exchange a look. and burst out howling#full on wheeze-laughing Cannot Form Words#y'see most couples would have some lingering 'i cant believe you did that' and/or guilt#but barn & howdy would just find it hysterical. full on 'remember when you-' 'yeah lmfao'#THEYRE SOOOOOO <3#yknow if i ever find someone i want to have a partner-esque relationship. i want to have what laughingstock has#i do genuinely believe that howdy might have feelings for barn#but i like to live in the delusional world of my mind where they're Established <3#grabbing them and slamming them together like a violent 5 yr old playing with dolls#kiss! kiss damn you!
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i feel like this site leaning heavily into the "pedophilia and incest and rape kinks are good" angle lately can be attributed to the mass expulsion of sex workers and black ppl on here ngl
#like gonna be honest these r the two groups that have far more of an understanding of how these r linked to colonialism and exploitation -#to be able to wholeheartedly oppose them w/out hesitation#like if youre a sex worker you'll likely see farrrrr more clients who are total strangers specifically seeking out children#by virtue of trying to protect said children in whatever way that you can#its easy to form opinions in the abstract if you straight up do not witness these events time and time and time again#and thinking about my ancestry + history of black exploitation especially against black children ...#i dont fully buy into the idea of 'these are exclusively issues of the nuclear family structure'. FAR more nuanced than that#as of the current society we live in.. the very family dynamic is one of inescapable relationships#if you can imagine how hard it can be when two people in a relationship have a lot of overlaps in friends have an awful break up#a relationship within the family would be much harder to reckon with. you cant just pack it up and walk away so easy#most of the ppl on here defending this shit do not even buy into it for themselves. it is entirely for roleplay purposes#they can put it away when theyre done#no disgust isnt always a good moral informant. but i will say i felt appauled reading the words 'incest fans' said in a cutesy way#ppl seem to misunderstand when black bloggers say incest kinks are a white ppl thing#what they mean is white ppl never have to reckon with the TRUE magnitude of power imbalances. it's treated like a fucking game#you never had to stand and feel the weight of knowing your ancestors are lighter than before because of the countless times white slave -#- owners raped them
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Do u think Karkat and Jade share some sense of loneliness? With both of them not really being able to connect with other people for the first 13 years of their lives because of outsides forces (Being a mutant in Alternia and living in an island alone)
yea
i like to imagine they connect like that, just a small detail. its nice and really depressing, they turned out very differently.
though yes jades isolation is a bit more important (plot wise-ish) than karkats, but its still a very interesting parallel
With both of them not really being able to connect with other people for the first 13 years of their lives
i mean for karkat it was probably a nightmare, not being able to connect with anybody physically for years and just having to deal with yourself and just... with self loathing a part of it? yeah probably really lonely. though karkats life pre-sgrub is a bit more vague than jades, its kind of obvious that he didnt have any physical interactions (other than crabdad) due to the fact that he needed to be protected by well, alternias whole.. everything system. i think about karkats life pre-sgrub a lot, actually
and jade? loneliest girl on earth. she didnt really have anybody (except for her grandpa but .. You know. Dead. taxidermized. or after she was a toddler. i say 2 years old) and she was left on prospit wondering and the only time she was with another person was with a sleeping john in the other tower. and all the prospitians. but that was her main physical interactions (were not using bec because .. Dog. woof bark woof bark)
because of outsides forces (Being a mutant in Alternia and living in an island alone)
and thats the saddest part, it really isnt either of their faults for any form of isolation.
anyways sorry if i got anything incorrect or just kind of got things straight up wrong. its 1:20 am (as im currently re-vising) and i am too tired to correct myself
now i know this is more of a fully canon analysis. but i do want to give my opinions on how it would effect them after the game
using the fact in the credits that they do live together (with d*ve. why am i even censoring his name? because its funny) i think they would prefer to be close to each other. for karkat its more of the fact that i think he still would feel a bit sorry (not in the sense that he didnt feel all that sorry during the game when he was harassing jade, but i mean that the feeling still lingers from time to time) and would try to just stay near her to make sure shes alright
and jade would be near karkat because of the fact of their relationship during the game. i feel like after she did forgive him during the game she did get more curious. like the reactions he had with the passwords. probably just wanting to have someone around that was talking to her for so long and was bothering her while she was still alone, just the concept of someone who was bullying you for maybe.. MONTHS (i.e "CG: HI AGAIN, IDIOT.") (emphasis on again) .. YEARS?? (or on her part) is just.. near you. physically. it brings an awkwardness between them. from how they were isolated and bothering each other and now just... together ??? physically?? it probably is so strange to them . strange to me mostly but it is a strange concept in itself
but i digress this part, i just started rambling about it
#rganswer#its 12am i cant really put my mind to things im sorry#though i do think about how karkat made a secret in the meteor (alterniabound)#but then everyone dumped their shit into his room.. haha loser#but.. maybe im reading too into it but it could be seen as a form of coping (i do not want to use that word but it feels the most correct)#to just remind him of his life pre-sgrub#with how he bootlicked alternia? yeah he probably was taking it all in that he was just being reminded of how he just was stuck in his->#->hive to not get killed for being a mutant#i mean the fact it was 'to cope' feels like a bit too much of a read-in. he probably got in there just to calm down for a minute and get->#->back out#but jade? yeah she does not want to be alone i think thats obvious#yes she self entertains herself pre-sburb with well.. everything#she lives in the perfect place to be isolated#in your own little world to yourself#and a isolated island? its just like some classic fairytale#but instead of there being a prince you just kind of stay there#only communicating with some people online you've never seen#the best connections with humans#sad#isnt it??
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This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-
Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.
(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)
#clover speaks#clover vents#hating bi lesbians is not terf rhetoric vagina art is not terf rhetoric medical sexism is not a terf topic#everytime you call some form or bigotry or some form of deep cut feminism you dont know shit about terf rhetoric#another trans person loses their wings#terfs harm people via certain avenues in specific ways#you've turned it into a fucking meaningless buzzword to decribe everything from opinions you dont like to actual bigotry#its basically gotten the exclusionist radical regressive gatekeep gaslight terreatmemt#words that mean very specific real things but gets so overused it means fuck all now#if your explanation for why something is supposed terf rhetoric is just something something splitting the community#something something exclusionary something something heard one say it once then you dont have the authority to fucking talk about it#I've been in the trenches fighting terfs and learning about their veiws and mindsets to accurately fight and rehabilite them#the hell they've actively put me and many other trans people through can not be understated#one called you a name one sent you a hate anon and sudeenly your the master of knowledge? gtfo#the specifics and deep rooted hate and history of that group is serious and every time you call some fucking#meaningless community discourse about if some inane insult is a slur like stupid or freak and call it terf rhetoric#you give terfs more fog to hide in you obscure the enemy that much more#you make it harder to find real actual terfs and their nazi friends when you call a fucking antikin a terf for being antikin#stop comparing other groups to terfs and heres a quick ajd easy way to identify if something is actually fucking terf rhetoric#dose the topic specifically talk about terfs or terfism or transmysogny/transandrophobia in the context of exclusionary radical feminism?#if the answer is yes then their might KEY WORD MIGHT be terf rhetoric involved.#if the answer is no then its not fucking terf rhetoric plain and fucking simple#find another buzzword milo because transmedicalism by definition cant BE FUCKING TRANS EXCLUSIONARY RADICAL FEMINIST RHETORIC#God this fucking community sometimes is so fucking exhausting#reminding me yet again that its mostly young and mostly people who lose their minds when i bring up terfs and racism#and yes you perisex afab trans person who thinks this isnt about you and the random shit youve false flagged as terfy#this is about you and your misusage of a serious allegation and association to falsely claim some terminally online take is terfy#You just make me hold my head in my hands and sigh really loud and try not to send you to the shadow realm#Not everything an alleged terf believes makes something terfism or terfy#please actually learn what words mean before you use them and make an ass of yourself called some tranfem exclusionist a fucking terf psyop
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Nghhh chewing on finweans and realizing how self-sacraficial is so deeply instilled in that family, and that that particular trait is prevalent in each generation.
Finwe knew he couldnt win against Morgoth, but he could try and protect his grandchildren. He fought regardless.
Fingolfin knew he couldnt twin against Morgoth in 1-on-1. He fought regardless.
Finrod knew he would die on his quest for Beren, and still fought the wolf to save his friend. He did.
Celebrimbor knew he could protect others by dying, protecting the knowledge about the rings. He did.
It stands to reason that Elladan, Elrohir or Arwen, would have come upon a similar fate.
#sometimes it just hits me with a sledgehammer like that family (esp the feanorian side) is portrayed as selfish a lot#(instert 'justice for caranthir for tslling Angrod to fucking stick with the people who arent hiding in Menegroth from Morgoth'-agenda)#(insert 'feanor was a selfish prick by abandoning the others in aman and forcing his sons to re-swear the oath upon his death' rant)#but i still think they are actually more opputunistic when you REALLY want to put a word ending with -istic there#feanor saw the opportunity to leave aman. fuck the brother he never liked. feanor only needs the people who'll be loyal to his family anyway#curufin saw the opportunity to get support form those of nagothrongld after he and celegorm had to flee like cowards from the dragons#which. for two people who i think have immense pride in their battle skill and strength must have been a HUGE ego blow#celegorm saw the opportunity to either: fuck over doriath and thingol by keeping luthien as political leverage (i dont think he's have#forced himself on her intimately. so fuck that. idc man. leave that shit away from me. he's an asshole but not a rapist imo anyway)#or: get a silmaril out of this mess SOMEHOW.#maedhros saw the opportunity of a possibly successful assault on angband after the silmaril quest of B+L and immediately began warplanning#and realistically speaking you cant tell me that maedhros didn't see the opportunity to casually drop the fact that it was HIS brothers and#HIMSELF holding basically all the eastern lands of beleriand in safety by closing off the Gap of Maglor while... where have you heard vague#rumours of turgon and ⅓ of the nolofinwean people maybe possibly not having died after suddenly disappearing? yeah. thought so.#just the opportunity to make slight political jibes available to shut anyone up about them being selfish#this is a weird post idk where this is going i stopped thinkig halfway though the second sentence#somehow that tag rant veered from self-sacraficial to opportunistic. didnt have that on my bingo card
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Was really excited today cause I bought a nice treat for myself and was about to post about it with a translated name for the food but my guardian angel stopped me like "don't post I CANT WAUT TO GULP DOWN SOME KNOTS"
#how do you even translates nózinho#little knots feels weird#and just knot is akward#english doesnt have a good diminutivo form of words#it has uwufication but thats not good#i guess cheese knots is best option#doesnt hit the same tho#same shit with melzinho. you cant translate that to lil honey fuck off
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HOLY SHIT?????
HOLY FUCK?????????????????
#I AM GOING FUCKING FERAL H#TH#I CANT EVEN FORM WORDS WHAT THE FUCKIK#THIS IS FUCKING CRAZY DUDE AGRJWGQHGWISVEKWVWOEHDKGWKS#THE SUCKENING OST IS TOO FUCKING GOOD HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THIS SHIT#THIS IS FUVKING WILD IM LOSING MY MINDDD
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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is there anything worse than having to train someone at work when you're the biggest idiot in the world :-|
#i cannot explain shit to save my life hsjsjsjsldh#IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD I JUST CANT FORM WORDS 😭😭😭😭😭
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Idk why i expect charitability from ppl who probably listen to whatever their staple favorite left-leaning video essayists says about the Other Leftists they dont like and takes it to heart and doesnt form their own opinion with the information provided (or the information specifically and intentionally left out to make the person look the worst that they can) just kinda does whatever that persons says because Its Probably Correct
I mean, theyre "on the left" and uses all the words you like, nevermind what their intentions or long terms goals are or how thatd reasonably be practiced irl or if it'd actually hurt the general cause of progressives and make things even more divisive and worse bc they value being petty more than actually having any values.
#yall be like 'i better go watch this black person who believes in racial separatism and take everything they say to heart and not form my#own opinion because the Correct Thing To Do is to let every minority im not say shit that would only help nazis in the long run Because Im#Not That Minority So Clearly I Have No Stake In This'. like idk. its one thing to pretend you understand every thing about a certain#minorities experience that you dont have. its a whole other thing to actually challenge people on their beliefs. and if the person you#are challenging cant give you a good enough answer or dodges or gets MAD at you for even asking - you should probably avoid them or at the#very least not just believe every fucking thing they say and never come to your own conclusions on shit.#people are supposed to have the critical thinking ability to have their beliefs challenged and give you an actual answer#theyre supposed to want you to understand. theyre supposed ro be able to explain it to people who dont understand#and arent in the same spaces enough to understand. if you cant explain to me why racial separatism is somehow Ideal then why should#i listen to you. just to do whatever you say no questions asked or else im bad and very problematic?#like how am i supposed to take this kinda person seriously when they go around calling shark3ozero the c word and other#racist shit. like you're not serious lol. you have no issue just acting like the people who disagree with you on something are just purely#bigots.#when the people you attack are far more on your side than the fucking republicans who yall barely even mention. which is interesting.#anyways if you believe in dividing everyone by race understand that thats LITERALLY what white supremacists want. that is Not the ideal#world for me. idk about you. and if you understand this and still follow me gtfo of here#you're a dipshit and prolly an accelerationist and i dont have time for your bullshit and likely nihilism.#you're gonna end up killing yourself thinking the world is only ever against you and everyone who disagrees w you is a bigot.#and i dont mean necessarily actually putting up a noose i just mean you're gonna isolate yourself SO MUCH from other ppl and stay only in#your one little space. that if you ever lose that space for whatever reason you'll be left alone w no help.#or you'll isolate yourself so much and stay inside forever and be hella paranoid in grocery stores thinkin everyone there Wants To Kill You#and im not gonna act like ik whats in the mind of someone who believes in racial separatism. that was more of an example. but i can try#to understand and i can tell that someone has to go through a lot of bs to think thats the only solution. im not trying to downplay why ppl#might think thats the best option. but really its the same shit w terfs and cis men and it kinda seems like its a solution born from trauma#with convoluted justifications for why its Fine actually#thats how it looks from my angle rn. if thats not the case and you feel like its different im always willing to hear different angles on#stuff. im never married to my positions as im not exactly a static person who never changes.#id say thats quite the opposite of my Whole Thing
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I think we should all cultivate in our hearts the logical extreme of "let people surgically modify their bodies" in that "people literally do not owe you a history of doing such, or justification etc"
Yes that influencer is awful (not because they got surgery, but because of the lengths they will go to sell you something they know to be misrepresenting).
It's not feminist to want to be conventionally attractive, whatever that means to the day, but one still has a right to pursue that even if you wouldnt and don't deserve your scorn or judgement
#BLEH cant find the words#Like im not arguing its a feminist win or that theres NO external factors here#But i feel like if we dont get past the 'well obviously except theeeeeese people.' Shit like this#Theres always going to be a stigma on the 'Proper and Valid' forms of surgical body modification too
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I think you guys are losing it with the Earthspark critiques now actually like at first I was on board but now it feels like u guys have forgotten we've only got one season so far and 99% of what we have seen was clearly set up for later pay off like calm down a little-
#if u replace these words with other words this is fucked up#and someone replies#ramblez#I joined in on it for a sec to talk abt how I personally view the themes#but now going in the tags is kinda a minefield suddenly all from one blog#and its like guys this series JUST started#not to mention a lot of the takes just feel. In really bad faith or purposely reading too deep into minimal stuff rn#like sure maybe the cybertronians are supposed to be symbolism for immigrants and stuff but I think they could also just be#symbolism of poc or other races in general? Considering what they've expeirence isnt purely xenophobia but other forms of racism too#and we dont exactly have enough info to know how the cons are gonna be treated what route the villains go down etc etc#ngl some of the takes feel like that tweet where some guy was like yea did u just figure out changing words in a sentence changes its meanin#the same is for stories#we dont yet entirely know what the terrans symbolize in all of this#what they are going to do with the cons the villains and everyone else#so yeah if u decide that certain characters n such symbolize something different than the intention [which we dont know yet#] u can make a story fucked up and problematic but thats not good critique thats how u make X character is secretly dead and this is#the afterlife theories abt pokemon and shit-#u cant just be like 'if you take this character and read them as symbolic of a thing thats never really mentioned or suggest by the story#then their story is actually very fucked up' and not provide more elaboration-#reminds me the tfa transphobia post that was like 'tfa clearly shows modifying ur body to be evil and dehumanizing#in terms of the characters upgrading' AND LIKE DID U EVEN WATCH THE SHOW OPTIMUS UPGRADES HIMSELF TO#TAKE DOWN MEGATRON... YOU KNOW... THE VILLAIN#LIKE YEA IF U TAKE THESE CHARACTERS NOT CODED TO BE TRANS AT ALL AND SAY THEY R SYMBOLISM FOR TRANS PPL#U MIGHT SEE THE STORY AS FUCKED UP BUT ITS NOT THE STORIES FAULT UR SCRATCHING OUT WORDS AND REPLACING#THEM WITH OTHERS-#reminds me of the nightheart shit too#nightheart isnt coded to be trans hating nightheart isnt transphobia its common sense#and yea if u take him as symbolism for being trans suddenly every woman in TC is transphobic now but thats not the storys fault#thats yours for putting concepts in the story and projecting ideas onto it that it does not hint at nor care to explore
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hey yknow what would be fucked up
if you were in a time loop and conscious of it but not the one the time loop was running on. You’re just trapped in all your previous decisions but you’re in there. Unable to affect the time loop but Conscious of it.
#like. tell me this WOULDNT be INCREDIBLY fuckfull#hm ideally I think this is either a harrow or an olruggio situation if I ever made a fic about it#(harrow obviously is stuck in the Last Day At Canaan House)#(olruggio is stuck in. hmm it would be INCREDIBLE angst hell if he was stuck in ch40 always only remembering the questions bc his mouth#forms the words and then Forgetting rinse and repeat until Qifrey gets his shit together)#I DID read a really good Jake Animorphs time loop where Tom was also In On The Loop hhhhhhrgh#but like. hough man the agency metaphors for Olruggio in that situation.#He wants to help SO GODDAMN BAD and he CANT. there’s nothing he can do. he doesn’t even know what he’d do if he COULD.
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Donnie is okay!!!!!! He’s safe!!! Now they just need to bring him home and help him recover from whatever magical residue stuff lingers. Please say he’s gonna remember everything when he wakes up!
(P.S. where is Odette? And Odile? Surely they don’t just disappear?)
odile was made to hunt odette, and no other reason. the magick that created her dictated that so long as odette still lived, so must she.
now, it's time for both of them to rest.
credit to @dryad-druid for inspiration for odile's black swan/ballerina form.
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#holy shit.#I#I.#I CANT form words#usually I’d be shouting but holy fuck holy fucking hell what the fuck I can’t even#i cant even#wtf omfg I what I what I what I what oml I love thsi so much I’m exploding this is so crazy I’m crazy.#ohhhhh im so crazy kshhxdh I can’t even pretend#I CANT EVEN ORETEND TO BE NIRMAL ABOUT THIS OH MU FUCKING GOD THSI IS WHAT. WHAT.#OHHHHH NY GOD#‘of course. your my little sister’#WHAT THE FUCK. LOOSING MY SHIT#IN THE MODT POSITIVE WAY HOMY FUCKIGN SHIT#OH MY FUCKIGN GOD#WHAAATTTT THE FUCJ#OHHHH NY GOD.#HOMLMNDHDHSDYHS HOMYHSUXHSHX HOLLLYYYYUUJXHDHDUSHXUDHCUSHD#AAAAAAAAAAAA#SCREAMS INTO THE VOID#WHAT#WHAT. WHAT.#OH NY GOD#OH MY GODDDD#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#HDUCHDUDWJUDWJXUWJXUWHXUSUS
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need to reread tac to Cleanse my brain from this fuckery but i genuinely cant read this series without . my pysche malfunctioning
#for both: ohhh my god this series is FUCMSJFJDJWIDJWJ OK#and . ohh my god the similarities between the trianflw n my One Relariknshio hasbme Sixk#andaso i stulidly chose . jacks nixkname dkr evie for Him so like thats ruined forever !#its cool ! . cant stans gim ! i sont want Nyrhing to do sith him !!!! i canr its nor good for me !!!!!#anyway i do infact miss aric i may go n read poison princess tmr#take some notes mayhaps . idk i have so many thoughts abt this series i wanna get some fonthis Intensity Out#in Word Form . n i thought the creenplay mightve been it bc like .#idk whatever im going to bed fuck all od rgis i got shit to do tmr
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