#i cant even imagine what part of the fandom id have ended up in if it weren't for antis scaring me out of most other places

[thatgirlwithasquid]

yknow sometimes i wonder what kind of environment antis think theyre making cause when i first got into the st fandom i really wasn't that into billy. like. i enjoyed his character but i didn't love him

[spikeinthepunch]

i have my 2022 art summary queued up and just want to ramble about the last year,... lots of stuff happened, good and bad! been a strange time.

i imagine most followers around have probably been here since late 2020 but 2020-21 i did art quite a bit, but the thing that really stuck for that period was i was super involved in warrior cats RP for some time-- i love RPing and these group also got me motivated to draw too! but i feel like i kind of wasnt around in the typical way due to how consumed i was in it. i dont think i need to go into detail of every month during that time, but it wasnt until early this year where i dropped it, and i didnt really publicize in detail why due to the issues surrounding it, but it was probably the biggest impact on me this year mentally, and in terms of art direction. and i feel like itd feel good to document this in a blog after it has now blown over- and why ive shifted my direction too.

i was very happily running my own RP server for just a year before i had to close it this year and it still makes me sad, as much as i moved on. ARP was like... a very big deal for me and i cant deny that. i dont have a lot of projects i get that into or get even close to setting off with its story figured out. i wrote well over 100 pages of documents for the world and the 6 planned arcs. i drew loads of art i couldnt even share until it closed (tbh im not positive i have shared it anyways bc i didnt wanna post it here). i made a website, i made riddles and code, i developed lore that was far outside of the warrior cats scope to it basically just being original!

truly i have never developed a project as far as i made ARP and to shut it down in order to save my privacy and past trauma from being further exposed in such an inappropriate way really sucked ass. a lot. it was a situation where there was no control given to me, no sense of understanding from the community. im not writing this out now to be pointing fingers and calling out names- just venting how it took a toll on me this year. what had happened with my server was that one of my own mods decided to dig into my profiles and found an old nsfw page, which even more indirectly led to an old flist, which exposed various things i was into around 17-19, reflecting trauma and abuse id been through (in it, voiced wanting to take part in certain kinks; ex. being a victim to violence and dubious consent scenarios). this information was at first presented as a threat to minors viewing my RP page (as in "ppl can see your nsfw profile from the blog!") which wasnt true/accessible as they said it was and required many many clicks to find, and then slowly revealed to me the people exposing this were in fact two of my own mods and was promptly cut off from explaining anything else as it spread in a private mod discord in the RP community. Which was worse to me than everything else that could have happened honestly, and i only learned this second hand from a person who saw it in that discord and thought it was horrible this information was spreading like that behind my back. in some ways things were okay-- i didnt get "called out" openly as i did my best to explain how these pages were not current to those around me, and that they had dug into some deep cutting trauma and a period where i wasnt getting any help to cope properly. it still didnt stop the fact i left every other RP i was in due to connections w those exposing it, and in turn closing my own. i dont want to say im thankful i didnt get called out publicly, but the damage was bad enough in so many other ways because i couldnt continue my server at all, and in the end people's obsession with purity culture in the fandom still made them deem me "bad" because i had nsfw accounts in any capacity. thats not a space i want to be around anyways...

ill forever be thankful for those who stuck it out to the end and witnessed the documents i got to share before closing it for good. but this was a HUGE part of my life for the last years of the pandemic, and i wasnt there for warriors cats- i was there for the people i knew, and the stories i made. i still miss RP a lot, and i want to host projects like that again after moving on mentally from that ordeal.

but my 2022 art summary shows a major shift that was 100% in part to disconnecting from wcrp. humans everywhere! seriously. for a solid few months i couldnt even bare to look at anything related to ARP. i didnt want to think about how i lost this story i developed so hard for so long.

honestly didnt really start drawing properly again until the summer- my art during my HL phase was very very light and very messy. i fell into a hard depression early summer and i only crawled out when i got into mcyt- and even then i was hiding it from this blog. i think i just needed to not feel like i was "online", because August included me joining a onceler RP and again, not saying anything about it. which Weehawken was the first RP thing I had done since i closed ARP too, and it was weird. not the RP itself, it just felt weird to try that again.

and it wasnt my favorite month, i just felt so tired and exhausted- that depression was kinda lingering and drawing a lot for an RP again was something i wasnt really used to anymore.

the past three months have been.... better? or i have at least enjoyed what i am drawing more. i think im far enough removed from what happened with ARP too that it doesnt weigh on me as strongly. i wasnt blaming myself for anything but it doesnt feel good when you know you have to kill something. we talked about recovering it, i had ideas, but i just knew it wouldnt be worth trying to with so much damage caused in my own self, and the impression that whole community left on me knowing people would willingly spread such personal information without question. having trauma exposed after going to therapy and relearning how to use the internet in a way that doesnt lean on trauma dumping and whatever unhealthy bullshit? its quite a blow. i dont make personal blogs like this often because i have good methods to deal with my shit these days.

despite this messy year im doing well. its been ups and downs. overall i know im far more confident in myself, i moved out to live on my own, and im just doing my thing. whatever bull shit happened this year, call out or not, i know im still just gonna keep doing whatever it is im doing. and heres to hoping i can bring a world to life like i did with ARP again, bc i really have a lot i want to tell and show and do.

[pjinthestreets]

artemiy burakh/child abuse discussion kind of?/longer post re dad artemiy emotions

while i do appreciate a ‘soft ending for the guy whos been through it all’ and i obviously share the instinct to imagine/create that (shuffles 45k of trying to get him to eat a big family dinner with the kids which has spiraled wildly out of control) i feel like i havent seen ANY content where artemiy isnt a gentle papa bear lol. which again isnt to say all of yous are Wrong for your Nice Dad Artemiy content but like. he kills people. he kills kids. theres a multitude of artemiys out there walking the haruspex path differently but you just cant make the argument that theres not room in him for full-on child-murder. and yeah its a video game and harvesting 100+ human organs in 12 days is just not even possible but like. especially classic-flavor artemiy (and i think some versions of p2) has a pretty low threshold for violence and having taken human lives is gonna impact how he is at home yk. plus like, even if you play him as tender as possible in p2 he didn’t come home to start a family..

idk what you guys’ experiences are with unanticipated troubled-youth mentorship but its not gonna be easy or intuitive to jump in as a father figure for two. lets say Troubled kids whove raised themselves halfway. and artemiy absolutely has anger issues, grief, and baggage of his own thats not even touching the ‘ive cracked ribcages to cut out warm hearts and i know what punctured intestines smell like’ aspect lol. one way or another i find it rly hard to imagine him as father of the year and i actually find that rly compelling. even the most well-meaning and stable adults whove actively planned their futures around parenthood fuck up badly because in this bitch of a world no one is without fractures and kids are gonna be impacted by that. i think healing is the work of a lifetime and loving-protecting-nurturing a child can absolutely change everything about a person but i kinda find it unfair to artemiy (and sticky and murky)’s characters to tack on a ‘and then it was all fridge drawings and baseball games and sometimes artemiy had nightmares but he’d go kiss his sleeping kids’ heads and feel better’ as the ending.

i wanna say part of that is the extreme taboo around depicting.. anything at all Problematique, ever, lest ye Endorse, and especially an extreme aversion to portraying someone who harms/abuses a child as anything but a vile monster (or occasionally a repressed alcoholic with PTSD, nonetheless a monster but at least a sad pathetic one?). ive been thinking a lot lately about Redemption Narratives and what we expect from them, who’s eligible for them, and what a Redeemed Character looks like. artemiy is a character id like to see heal and grow as much as the next guy and i can see why ‘artemiy harms a a child or literally anyone and its not done thru gritted teeth for the greater good’ is not a thing this fandom in particular is ready for. i can count the number of even ‘artemiy gets violent with an adult who in some way triggers him’ art/fic ive seen.  but for real, many to most of us have some pretty fucked up shit in our family histories, and most of us will do fucked up shit in our lifetimes. genuinely fucked up shit that changes the trajectory of other peoples’ lives! sometimes those people are children at the time too! how can we hold that harm without denying it, without forgiving it or erasing it?

all that is to say, i dont begrudge the wealth of happy-family endings that artemiy and kids get to have. i AM bummed about the dearth of more complex post-game content, because its something that i think bears thinking about.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

HI i just wanted to say that i really enjoy your twilight metas (as those are the only ones ive read so far) and you're a genius. it's awesome to me how realistically you think about characters and the plot, which i have never been able to do because i always get confused. thank you especially for your post about jacob and how the fandom treats him bc ive always had mixed feelings! i love him (the fanon/new moon him ofc) but i also felt rly weird about the whole SA thing, especially as a brown boy thats been villainized (i didnt SA anyone i just realized how that sounds) i understood that it had racist roots but it still...happened, yk? anyways u put it beautifully and its alot easier to understand how i feel about him now. also like everything else u post about!! i despise the cullens w my every being but its so entertaining to see their dynamic and actions laid out. mostly bc it solidifies my hatred but anyways. they also kind of change my views on other characters, like i always kinda liked bella (i dont like alot of things she does but alot of the fan content i see on her made her feel rly relatable) and its rly interesting to see that she would be a kind of absent parent, bc id never considered it like that and it makes so much sense and woah. u have so much evidence to back up ur theories and opinions too--i tend to get lost in fanon but i dont rly do that w ur posts! even ones where ur spitballing its just muah chefs kiss i love. i write alot of self fulfilling fanfiction and tbh it does not feel the same when the characters r too ooc and ur posts have helped a fuck ton! ur super cool and i love ur stuff keep going :)

i do have some questions tho u dont have to acknowledge it at all and ik you tend to focus more on the cullens, but what do you think the wolf pack is like now that jacob, leah, and seth have left, and now that they have so many new members? do you think any other girls would have shifted and how would they be treated? ik leah was kind of alienated in canon not only bc shes a girl but also bc of her feelings, and i cant tell if the pack would be wary of her/treat her the same as leah, or if they would have learned their lesson.

have a good day!

Well first, thank you, I'm very flattered. I'm going to go ahead and acknowledge @therealvinelle here as well as she's I believe the one who originally posted the post about the very complicated topic of Jacob Black and his terrible choices throughout the series.

As for your questions there are a few pack questions in my inbox but it's mostly a matter that people keep asking questions about Bella and she keeps getting eaten.

Also, I'm not sure you want me answering these questions. Like all of Twilight, it's a bleak pit of despair.

But here we go

What About the Pack/Tribe After Breaking Dawn

There's a lot of shit going on in the tribe right now. Jacob leaving is just part of it.

They have an unprecedented number of shifters in the community and that's going to spell... a lot of issues in the years to come.

Namely, per Sam and Emily, domestic violence will be through the roof and kept very hushed up for the understandable reason of these people look like they were mauled by bears. This will also likely increase the number of deaths in the tribe, especially among those who are young. Accidents happen, it's not good, this is going to have a devastating impact on the people.

You also have a lot of angry, disaffected, young men who can no longer really be a part of society. They can't really attend school, can't even really leave the reservation for fear of turning into a wolf, they can't hold a job, at the age of nineteen or younger they each had their futures ripped away from them.

Some, Seth, handle this very well (possibly because he hasn't clued into what this means yet), others like Jake... do not. These people have had their lives turned upside down and in some cases utterly ruined: that's not good in any society.

Then you have the imprinting, lord, the imprinting.

To date, there's the Sam, Emily, and Leah disaster. The three of them handled it very well, but it still utterly destroyed Leah's life and emotional stability. Not helping, of course, is that Leah has had her very identity taken from her, has no privacy, and her only option of escape is to follow Jacob around which... we'll get to in a few paragraphs.

Added to that, you have the Claire/Quil disaster, in which the tribe is desperately trying to handle it by a) keeping it very quiet b) trying to make Quil just be the babysitter. That's unlikely to work out for them and is just angstfest all around and no one's fault.

And then, of course, Jacob/Renesmee. Jacob, having now imprinted, will follow Renesmee to the ends of the earth. He has no other purpose now. Which means that Leah and Seth, who are in his pack, get to follow along and uproot their lives. For the tribe this means they'll never be rid of the Cullens, not truly, and Billy has lost his son entirely. Not to mention it's guaranteed to go awful places.

Then you have the paternity questions this whole thing drudges up, the trauma of these children having to be sacred warriors and having slaughtered demons with human faces, many of whom were also once children and more.

The tribe and the pack are a goddamn mess.

Jacob imprinting on the Cullen hybrid daughter and leaving the tribe? Yeah, it's weird and no one likes it, but that isn't even the peak of the nonsense these people have to deal with.

Would the Other Girls Shift?

No.

Leah seems to have won the genetic shitty lottery. In 600 years of shifting, there has never been another woman, and Leah has all shifting bloodlines in her veins.

It seems Leah was just very unlucky.

Were other girls to shift I imagine they'd face much the same situation. Suddenly teenage boys are witnessing them naked, all the time, they have no choice to become sacred warriors (a role not typically meant for women and which will very much feel like 'the boy's club') and I don't get the idea that anyone learned anything from Leah.

Jake certainly didn't, he just thought she was Uber Bitch until she begged him to let her in his new pack and reminded him she was a human being with feelings.

The concept genuinely had not occurred to him.

TL;DR Remember kids, Twilight is despair

[volfoss]

Giomis 🥰🥰🙏

omg love and light u wanted to see me SO pissed tonight <3333

not even apologizing for this one but if u ship them uh fucking burn <3 but ill separate into bulletpoints for ease of reading

the fucking age gap besties are u really out here thinking an 18 year old quote unquote lusting (from what ive seen from fanon, its uh like that) after a 15 year old isnt predatory

so uh teehee let me kinda go thru some of the points id imagine the gross bitches would make for wow omg giomis canon:

affection: so its literally? like very easy to see that mista is someone thats canonically affectionate (ie stuff w narancia post the sale fight) and absolutely not remotely a reason to be like omg wow theyre so in love wow hes hitting on this 15 year old

the whole gun scene with the cioccolata fight when giorno was literally just?? like not fucking grabbing the gun from his hand, like hes not shooting steadily w one hand so he was steadying himself? especially when he presumably doesnt have a lot of use with a gun

the scene post the ghiaccio fight as if araki hasnt literally done this shit before (which idk to me it kinda uh feels a bit homophobic in the way of not treating gay ppl seriously but besides the point) with avdol and joseph and ive never seen anyone really be like omg this is THE part 3 ship the way that giomis is very much like a prominent part 5 ship

idk like im sure some ppl are bringing up shit like wow they work together in fights (which literally ALL of the main team do) or wow theyre the only two alive at the end but i literally will not go into that tag to find out idc

but onto the reasons i literally just do not get the appeal and hate it and will personally send u to the incinerator if u ship it. there is like 0 chemistry but also fanon understands these two guys like the least? wow i sure love reading fanon where its giorno cardboard cutout giovanna and guido horny as shit to the point its noncon mista

like not remotely that it would be good without the fandom not understanding them at all, but it just adds another layer onto this shit sundae

canons timeline of a legit week or less doesnt remotely give enough time for anyone to really develop meaningful relationships (which wow is why i literally do not understand like ANY giorno ships because dude he knew them for a week at most and thats nowhere near enough time to like get along with anyone or know them enough esp w like idk fugo and trish) but sure we're gonna slam these characters together because wow the main jojo HAS to be with someone else because god the jjba fandom is so fucking shitty with shipping everyone with someone but thats also just a general fandom problem

i just i dont see how hard it is to realize hey maybe lets not do a 15 year old and an 18 year old (im also fucking subtweeting the gross fucks that are also out here like omg trish x mista.... die <3) because literally the 18 year old has a few years on the 15 year old and it can definitely be positioned as a grooming situation

ppl just really fucking slam both giorno and mista with anyone that moves and its like? why? why does watching a show mean u have to ship people? why do people ship BOTH of them with fucking diavolo and members of la squadra? idk maybe its not enough that giomis in of itself is disgusting but people really make shit worse because they just dont know how to handle these characters

its literally just a friendship my guy, did u forget when mista shot giorno like unprompted? idk not like wow omg cute ship material. people just really need to pair giorno with ANYONE and cant even think of him as his own character (also a problem w mista fanon wise, but idk i blame giomis for this bc of how prevalent it is)

its so so hard for people to just realize hey not everything has to be romantic and not everything has to be interpreted as romance

anyways teehee fucking perish if u like giomis and block me 😍

[heavensmortuary]

the resident evil ship?

Ooo ok! I dont ship often but RE is one of the few fandoms I have ships for. I'll go with Jill and Carlos, Claire and Leon, and Ethan and Mia

·When I started shipping them: After I played RE3R! I thought their dynamic was cool, especially Carlos doing his absolute best to protect Jill in the hospital (that part of the game was the most stressful sjdjf). For Claire and Leon; at the end of RE2R. That scene where theyre basically recovering from the fight and taking Sherry by the hands and leading her someplace safe was so heartwarming and I love them all very much. For Ethan and Mia, when I finished RE7

·My thoughts: I know RE doesn't really have the best writing when it comes to relationships, but I like how like, what a great team Jill and Carlos when working together! For Claire and Leon; yknow that one meme thats like "best friends secretly think of each other as sidekick", thats them. Leon and Claire should have been able to adopt Sherry. For Ethan and Mia, I know Mia is a bit. Odd. But Ethan loves her SO much. Like, hes absolutely willing to go through hell and back TWICE for her, even to the point where hes literally falling apart. I don't like Mia a ton because shes kind of a flat character, but Ethan is like. Husband of the year

·What makes me happy about them: For all of them, I'm not sure how I'd narrow it down except that I like it when characters are so devoted to each others safety, even though thats a trope used all the time. Like. I'm not even sure HONESTLY how id go through something so scary and hellish as like, the Bakers house in RE7, and all for someone I love. Same with the others; they encourage me to go the distance no matter how scary for the ones I love, and thats pretty cool imo.

· What makes me sad about them: oh boy oh boy alright. 1. Carlos was in RE3 (a game that came ouT IN THE 90s) and never used ever again. Jill haven't been in a game since Revelations 1 I think 2. Claire and Leon didnt get together and adopt Sherry and Sherry grew up raised by the Government pretty much. Infinite Darkness really belittled Claire's character next to Leon sjsjdkf 3. Uh. *Spoilers for RE8* WHOOP Ethan kicked the bucket without even saying goodbye to the wife he loved so much

·Things done in fanfic that annoy me: I can just think of one, and its people writing Ethan like. Getting together with one of the Lord's when uh. They all pretty much dismembered his kid. Pretty awkward. Also there seems to be a disturbing amount if hate towards Mia like. To the point where people love to kill her off in fanfic

·Things I look for in fanfic: I don't read fanfic much but when I do, I usually like reading about them all going on adventures or missions together

·Who Id be comfortable with them ending up with, if not with each other: Can't think of any really. I personally headcanon Claire as ace but that might be me self projecting lmao

·My happily ever after for them: Good question. For Carlos and Jill; I can't imagine them wanting to settle down that much. I would LOVE to see another game where they work together behind the scenes. Please RE9. Please. For Leon and Claire; honestly I cant think of much. They both need therapy and a vacation. For Ethan and Mia; they should have been able to live somewhere quiet and away from all the horrible things theyve seen and raised Rose. Simple, but thats what they deserve

[normal-thoughts-official]

I.t.a (Identity thief anon)

I thought I had replied (if I did and you just hadn't post it it's 1000% fine ahshs)

I love Elliott so much!! And his crush is so cute (but also looking at the bigger picture is hilarious that I killed his would be father in law lmao) also awfullest thing pixelberry did was making me choose if I wanted to be his legal guardian or if I wanted him to be emancipated only to not have to do any of them since, you know, our grandpa was still alive...

Also I thought about it way too much for a choice (with no actual impact) in a game ahshshshhs, emotionally wise I'd have wanted to be his legal guardian but I think it'd make more sense (legally) emancipation because he would still get government help but there wouldn't be a risk of someone taking him away of in case I wasn't a successful guardian, and he could apply for scholarships more easily while I worked or something lmao I was just excited in that part.

I know there are some books in which you can be poly but the only I remember was moty (mother of the year) which was a better than expected book (to be fair I didn't goof have expectations) and in that one I started to date the three love interests <3

How far along are you in endless summer, who are you romancing, what do you think of the classmates + lila and what do you think about the story in general 👀

u hadnt replied!!!! hi i missed you!!

i didnt know u could be polyam in moty! i might try it out then, i never gave it a shot cuz i hate the idea of having kids 😬 but anything for rep i guess

and YEAH I KNOW DIDNDIDNDO i love elliot so much and him and robbie are SO cute together but damn his in law straight up tried to kill us huh. like robbie deserves better than bobert or whatever his name is and im glad to have killed him but

also okay im in the middle of the second book idnfidndidndo around the part where the arachnids show up for jake. my opinions so far are kind of messy but uhhh

grace and raj are my faves, hands down. craig is a close second

i like almost everyone except for jake because hes just military propaganda in a trenchcoat with that annoying wahh im too conflicted to care about anyone white boy complex, and aleister because he was a dick to grace. idc how much he simps for her now she deserves better than him. and Quinn is kind of whatever. like her whole personality is uwu and its kind of annoying but i dont hate her or anything

the story is such a fucking mess?? udndidn i have NO CLUE whats going on 😩 if they manage to make everything make sense by the end ill be REALLY impressed cuz damn wtf is going on

im romancing sean!!!!!! what can i say, i have a type and that type is self sacrificial idiot. he has a heart of gold and he deserves better and aaaa 😭😭 u idiot man stop putting ur life in danger as the instinctual reaction BLEASE. i just want to wrap him in a blanket and make him take care of himself for once

i also like estela a lot but im not really that interested in romancing her ig? i enjoy our moments together but my feelings for her are more casual ig

i rlly want to like lila but i cannot stand her simping for discount tony stark my god. please lord just make it end

i rlly like everyone's dynamics???? its so nice to see how the group has been growing together more and more. i love them ❤️

i LOVE the vaanti. every last one of them. my beloveds. if they tried to kill us it's cuz theyre valid

varyyn and diego are the greatest couple this game has ever given me i am SO grateful for them. i just got to their first kiss and aaaaaa it was so sweet. upset at choices for not giving me art of their kiss when i had to watch aleister and grace's but 😩 its fine im fine. holding onto hope that ill get art of them eventually but i dont want to look it up and risk spoiling myself

i actually like craig and zahra as a couple a lot too which i didnt expect. i still dont fully understand what happened between them but i really hope they work it out :(

on that note i love zahra. anticapitalist queen. cant believe she fucking hacked wall street. id die for this woman even tho she wasted tiramisu

tbh i dont wanna get off the island. like what for? to go to college? when i could stay with the cool vaanti culture and be happy and not have to worry about capitalism and have sick ass tattoos? lets just kill tony stark and stay there besties

really like how they made the MC's past a mystery? like yeah we have absolutely zero past and backstory as per usual but this time it actually is an integral part of the story that we dont know that we were born in la huerta or basically anything about ourselves truly (even tong stinky didn't so like?). and it was nice to see that being a part of the story rather than just this weird feeling of detachment from the MC

the MC is so stupid and i love him

sean and craig are gay for each other. michelle and quinn are gay for each other. i diagnose everyone with gay

i literally dont have a single theory as to what the hell is going on like not one. and i have gotten almost every clue/idol/file but like i literally have no idea how to tie all of this together. this is such a mess didndkdndkdndidn im kind of excited to see what happens because ES seems to be so popular in the fandom i can only imagine the plot is gonna blow my mind, but im kind of afraid of being disappointed

and thats all ive got so far i think? udndidjd god

[sammysnaughtygirl]

the way you treat me

Fandom: Walker (TV 2021)Rating"R Warnings:adult content Characters: Cordell Walker (Walker TV 2021), Grace& Emily Tags: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Walker Bingo, Angst, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Shameless Smut, Crossover Pairings, - Fantasy Summary: cordwell walker uses blackmail against rival Grace

Square Filled"blackmail,Angst cordell walker ,had had a bad day at work ,his face was smeared with redness as he had just bumped into an old friend and found out that she too was now a texas ranger and he couldnt understand what she was up to why she had joined the force why she had come back to town without informing him if made him fume with anger ,G race was cordy,s longtime friend but before she had left town without letting him know she was leaving they had become more than friends so he thought now he just didnt want to see her at all.his mind wondering what had sent her packing had also wanted to know what had brought her home cordell was so upset he just starting throwing things around the room shattering glass and smashing holes into the walls with his fist he was now in a new relationship with emily but if knew if he spent even just one moment with Grace he wouldnt be able to control himself because he knew deep down in his heart he wasnt over her so he made up his mind he just had to prepare himself for their reunion ,Emily had to be first he had to make himself keep her the focus of his agenda but he felt he knew it was gonna take all the power he had to do this. he snatched open the fridge and grabbed a beer before plopping into the chair in front of the tv he drank serval before heading off to bed his dreams were covered with images of Grace dancing thru out the night when he awoke he dressed in a hurry and dashed out for the office praying he was early enough that he wouldnt run into her as cordell was reaching for his assignment the door flung open and in a instant Grace came gliding thru it as if she hadnt a care in the world not even taking notice of cordell standing there glaring at her Grace stumbled into the bosses office and drapped herself in the seat asking what she needed to do for the day,she was handed an assignment the boss making it clear that she need to take charge and get to work immeditaly so she ripped the paper in half and stuck in her pocket ,out the door she went with no hesitation not looking to see her new partner might be as she reached the patrol car cordy stood beside the passenger side door with anger in his eyes omg Grace plurred out not you ,well im not happy about this either cordell shouted back to her its not my cup of tea to have to see you again. me, Grace was stung with his words why are you so mad at me ,cordell couldnt believe she would even ask him such a thing you left not explaining to me why or if you,d come back how was i to know you couldnt handle things what Grace asked she started to laugh at his gesture which made him grow angerier ,Grace could see hurt in him im sorry for not talking to you before i just took off but i didnt know how to deal with what was happening not just between us i had alot going on,so why didnt you come & tell me this did it make it better to shut me out to take the high road and just leave me in the dark? no it wasnt fair for me to leave without explaining to you why i had to im listening cordell said ,we cant do this now she told him we have work to do,oh i get it the old dodge the question routine, no it will just have to wait Grace said work has to come first sure cordell agreed as they both jumped into the patrol car this isnt uncormfortable at all Grace said cordell sneered at her without saying a word back the day grew long but they stayed silent after all they both were just not ready for real talk soon the day had come to end and they parted ways waiting for the right time to open the wounds she had left behind Grace didnt know exactly how much hurt she had caused. the next day she hoped things would look clearer but cordell wasnt going to make it easy for her he wanted answers he pulled her aside after arriving at work the next day ,we have to have to talk about it he said fine Grace followed him into

breakroom i need to know why you left he asked she looked at him her eyes were filled with tears i had to she told him but why ,why i dont understand he looked confused Grace nodded her head i know you dont ,Emily found out and she threatened you what,no way not possible cordell said she threatened me how ? she threatened to have your job she knew how much you meant to me still do actually ,stop it cordell pleaded i dont trust you anymore fine Grace told him ask her yourself she was afraid of the time we were spending togather she knew you had fallen for me too thats why she did it,she wanted to tear us apart and it looks like it worked your the one who walked away not me i would have never left you .i need to talk to Emily still dont believe me huH? cordell turned his back and walked out of the room,he stormed out of the building pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Emilys she picked up after just two rings hello ,Emily i need to see you now can you meet me at the square in an hour sure babe she told him what,s up nothing i just need to see you its important ok ill be there see ya soon bye she said,cordell got into his pickup truck and drove to the square where he waited for Emily to show up he sat in the middle of the square at a table directly facing the road so he could see her before she seen him ,the minutes went by quickly and before he knew it she was pulling into a parking spot he watched her as got out and started to walk over to his table he stood up as she approached him and he kissed the side of her check whats up anything wrong she asked him ,cordell shook his head you tell me he said why did you threaten Grace & me it was blackmail you know that right wait stop she nodded i can explain ,explain what how you took her away from me how this was all your fault?thats not what i meant Emily spoke i need to let you know why i did it i love you,no you just wanted what you couldnt have isnt that right you knew i loved her ,you knew how i felt about her and you didnt say a thing ,you probally knew she loved me as well is that why you did it ? i didnt mean to you didnt mean to what hurt me how did you think i was gonna react did you think i was gonna just fall into bed with you was that it ,Emily grabbed his hand i love you not her,cordell slowly removed her hand from his im sorry i dont feel the same yes you do i know you do she started to become violent and adutanted no i dont cordell tried to be calm with her as she was going off on him he decided it was time to just walk away as she tried holding on to him .you cant just walk away she cried as cordell fled,Grace was alone back at her moms old place and cordell knew he would find her there so he wasted no time after his meeting with Emily he knew now what had happened so he was headed to comfront her once again ,when he reached the porch of her house he started to feel those old feelings surface as he knocked on the door Grace peaked out to see who it was can i come in he asked sure she lead him inside i talked to Emily really Grace said howd that go i know what you told me was true i was just mad and hurt im sorry for the things i said to you apology accepted ,she told him he stood there learing at her what whats wrong she asked how could do that to me ,cordell i told you no i mean really how could you just walk away knowing how i felt about you i didnt want to cause trouble for you i wasnt sure if you felt the way i did ,so i just gave in to her demands it was easier than being rejected by you ,how can you say that you know id never reject you,he took a step foward and placed his hands around to cradle her face im in love with you how could you not see that he leaned down and softly kissed her pink lips she could feel her body clinging to his every word i want to be with you not Emily .Grace was so excited she threw her arms around him and squezed him so tight as if she never wanted to let go the tension was mounting the heat from his touch made her dizzy,maybe we should move this to your bedroom cordell implied catching her breath yes maybe we

should he scoped Grace up his his arms and carried her to the bedroom bringing the door shut with his foot he dropped her on the bed gently and drapped himself over the top of her and leaned in glancing her over before brushing a kiss against her lips ,standing to his feet he lifted Grace and slowly undressed her his hands once again found her mouth tracing the outline of her lips with his fingertips ,moving back on the bed cordell slide his hands down her body tracing her outline it made Grace tingle with every touch the two conitnued on to make sweet love and ended the night falling asleep moments later being at peace with one another embracing their newfound love .Grace dreamed that night the most beautiful dream ever .the way you treat me its the most beautiful thing i could ever imagine she had found what she was searching for cordell .

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[pumpkinpaix]

You were paging Saint Seiya fans? I’d lay serious money that someone involved in the production of “The Untamed: The Walking Dead” was an Andromeda Shun fan; watch how they have WQL using his chains.

(anon,,,, you unlocked hidden dialogue,,,,,, i’m. sorry, but also?? not sorry. im literally listening to nebula chain on repeat right now, and I can still fucking sing along to like, every lyric and i memorized this back when i was 12 and couldn’t speak japanese lol)

GOD MY LITERAL EXACT THOUGHT as SOON as I saw the trailer!! when i say i screamed!!!!! :’D

i mean check out my tags on the post;;;

[ID: screenshot of my tags on the trailer for cql: the living dead. relevant tags read: #cant believe my character type remains soft boy who controls pointy chains #wen ning #or #andromeda shun #you decide HAHAHA /end ID]

in case anyone is wondering what we’re talking about:

[ID: screenshot of wen ning and sizhui from the trailer of the living dead. wen ning is holding glowing orange chains that float around him like snakes or ribbons with triangular pointed ends, dressed in a dark cloak. /end ID]

[ID: screenshot of andromeda shun from saint seiya (omega), holding a glowing pink chain that floats around him like a ribbon/snake with a pointed triangular end, dressed in a dark cloak /end ID]

(got a little uhh, deep in the weeds, so here’s a readmore)

andromeda shun remains a really important character to me, for both his embodiment of kindness and the radical gender space he occupied. like!! look here. hyoshun was the very first queer ship I let myself care about, and I felt enormously transgressive about it when I wrote them having a single kiss in a oneshot i never published because I was scared to. I still have it in a notebook upstairs! maybe i could post it now, ahahahahah. baby’s first queer story!! :D

i was really disappointed with the decision to cisswap him in the netflix adaptation because it felt like an undoing of so much that made his character compelling. there was something so extraordinarily powerful about a character who was completely confident in his masculinity, regardless of what other people said, regardless of what kind of gender roles he occupied: he cried easily and freely, in happiness and sorrow, was violent only as a last resort, chose kindness over everything else, fought under an explicitly female constellation, with an extremely feminine armor design (pink with pseudo-boob plates LMFAO), but was also the most powerful member of the team, the first bronze saint to access the eighth sense (i think?? oh my god someone canon-check me, it’s been a LONG time since I read/watched it), and canonically the purest soul on earth!!! 

(this is not to say that saint seiya was like, gender radical~ to be clear. it remains wildly misogynist LMFAO like. mother FUCK kurumada!! there was SUCH potential for interesting character beats with every fucking woman, and none of them got them 8)))) like, every girl in that story had excellent potential!!! i will FOREVER be pissed about how we didn’t get shun & june friendship development HHHHH i have been bitter about this since i was 12 and no i will NEVER stop!! do i have specific hcs about how they fell into a relationship bc of shared trauma + proximity and then realized they were better off as friends, broke up amicably, and remained extremely close for the rest of their lives?? yes, don’t worry about how the canon timeline is so fucked it wouldn’t allow for that since shun canonically spends like, 95% of his time post andromeda island in life-or-death battles, on life support, or the host of the ultimate enemy. and then i think 250 years in the past, maybe?? i haven’t read next dimension L O L)

what i would have GIVEN for fem Ikki or Seiya or Shiryu instead!!! (i’m excluding hyoga for a couple of reasons, but he still would’ve been better than shun) god imagine the POWER of phoenix/andromeda sister/brother dynamics! for all the reasons that a gentle man is compelling, a vicious, arrogant, selfish, cruel woman that refuses to die ALSO would have been incredible as a protag. (basically, what we COULD have had with shaina goddamn it!!) imagine sapphic ikki/esmeralda!!! or shiryu/shunrei, or seiya/any woman that the series decided to throw at him lol.

anyways, circling back around to the original point, I would say saint seiya was one of the most influential animes of the 80s, and remains listed with series like dragonball, sailor moon, ranma, etc. in most parts of the world that experienced an anime boom, except the united states?? like, asia obviously, and I know it was popular in europe (particularly france and belgium) and latin america (latin america truly carries this fandom outside of asia like damn), but somehow, the states really missed out :’) i suspect it has to do with cartoon network botching the release of the dub /shrug

saint seiya definitely occupies a culturally significant position in china (i remember when I was obsessed with it in middle school, I visited china and several of my family members were like what??? saint seiya?? that’s such a violent show!! for boys!!! whereas in the states, almost no one recognizes the name) so it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it was an intentional reference. or ripoff AHAHA

as an aside, wen ning and shun also have pretty easily comparable character notes: eg. kind and soft, but extraordinarily dangerous when either pissed off or fighting seriously; perceived as enormously weak/shy/sensitive, but are secretly very talented in a specific martial skill; the whole “harbors a horrific evil force within” thing and fighting for control over it--so frankly, i love it, even if it’s 100% Not That Deep. i understand that this is a somewhat generic character archetype, but i am just like. That archetype with Those chains? 👀

IF ONLY THE LIVING DEAD HADN’T BEEN ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE,,,,,,

i was literally so excited for it, and i was so terribly betrayed :’)

another parallel: neither living dead nor saint seiya had any respect for women eyyyyy

tl;dr, i love andromeda shun, and we were robbed by every production team >:c

[twilightpoison]

Diabetic head cannons but for a different fandom? More likely then you think, because i need to keep myself awake until i can get a second opinion on what to do next. So have fun with my rambles about selected Ikerev boi’s that will not make sense.

Warning: Needles unedited and cursing because lack of sleep

General head canons:

- alright just to start out lets say Alice is from our time, not sure how they dealt with diabetes back in the 19th century but apart of me is saying it wasn’t that good.

- So with falling into cradle really in theory out of the suitors, Kyle would be the only one who would know what the fuck is going on.

- Probably during the chase out of the garden Alice’s blood runs low and she doesn’t have glucoses tablets on her or something. Zero would ask what’s up and she would give a small explanation with Kyle cutting her off to finish her sentence.

- Anyway is already canon that Zero always has lollipops on him so thats how she doesn’t die from low blood sugar and gets like 15 different flavors of lollipops.

- Alice depending on the route would probably end up with him as her doctor and supplier of insulin and needles until the full moon.

Lancelot:

- dude imma be straight with y’all, he’s suffering.

- Do you think he can administer glucagon? He cant even take getting a shot.

- Plus he probably cant even watch Alice giving herself an insulin injection.

- Alice would probably be more considerate with that last one though.

- I cant see Lance’s Alice being the type to just do it in the open because of how much Lance hates needles.

- If Alice mentions about how her world has Pods or sensors that negates the needles, you can bet he’ll get someone to create something similar.

- The first person i think of is Oliver so probably him.

- Despite hating seeing Alice inject herself, he does often make sure she does.

- Carb counting and the conversions he can help with too.

Jonah:

- ey I know the relationship here is built on the mutual love of sweets, and you think because Alice is a diabetic she wouldn’t eat to much of it.

- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Nah that wont stop her. If anything she would be the type to 100% eat sweets on the regular and not care about it. Trust me I knew someone like this and I too wondered how the fuck was she still alive.

- Once Jonah realizes what’s up though... he probably be very strict on Alice’s sweet intake.

- Alice is probably chaotic enough that he knows he can’t stop her, because lets be real here. Edgar would give her some of his candy so really its the lesser of to evils.

- Would definitely track the blood sugar levels, you would think he was the one that had it. Thats how detailed it is.

- Probably keeps in mind on what foods they like to eat and how many carbs are in there so when the two of them are on a date and Alice is struggling to carb count he knows what’s up and tells her how much to give.

- Jonah would probably be reluctant to stab Alice with glucagon or insulin. He would know how to but its something else doing on someone you care about.

- He would be internally panicking probably.

Edgar:

- tbh wasnt expecting to put him in this but now that i think about it, Edgar would definitely some how know right away.

- I haven’t played his route yet though so there isn’t much I can comment on. But what I can comment on...

- Edgar would always have sweets on him and some how always know how much Alice need to take.

- How the fuck he gets this information I can’t tell you, because I don’t even know.

- Another boy that can track her levels better then she can herself.

- He would probably be able to stab Alice with glucagon or insulin if something happens. I wouldn’t trust him to, but he knows how so its better then no one doing it.

- Definitely wouldn’t panic if something bad happen, he would become serious but nothing else.

- Would always keep a watchful eye for signs of lows or highs.

- After finding out what candies Alice likes he would definitely carry those around him more often.

Kyle:

- havent played this bois route part 2.

- BUT LET ME TELL YOU THIS IS PROABBLY SUPER EXCITING FOR HIM.

- Stressful yes, BUT EXCITING.

- As mentioned Cradle is in the 19th century while Alice is from the 21st. There is so much they don’t know about Diabetes that Alice can tell him about.

- Would 100% try to get Oliver to invent a insulin pump or a Blood Sugar sensor, after hearing about them.

- probably gets into the habit of carrying around glucose tablets and makes sure Alice has all their stuff with them as well.

- Constant check ups for Alices levels and condition, this is a new world that doesn’t have everything she has back at home so they need to be diligent with keeping up with that sort of thing.

- Idk if he would know that sometimes Type 1 can also have Celiac but if he does he would ask.

- If not Alice would probably let him know if they do or not.

- Kyle would probably make sure the kitchen staff knows to give Alice low carb meals most of the time.

- anything to make this easier to control until the full moon.

- This is obvious but Kyle would 100% stab Alice with a needle if in an emergency.

Zero:

- a baby- he always has lollipops on him.

- The first time it was just luck on Alice’s part that he did, but now he is like the go to man to get sweets from. (Aside from Edgar.)

- I dont think Zero would be to involved with helping. Its not really something he knows to much about.

- However that doesn’t stop him from helping out.

- Aside from carrying sweets he also gives gentle reminders after meals or if Alice has a snack or something to take insulin to cover it.

- Would probably be the third most confident with stabbing Alice with a needle if need be.

- You know how he gives Alice those earrings that tell him if she is in danger?

- Imagine him getting something similar but its like an ID bracelet that lets him know if there is an emergency.

- He mostly lets Alice take care of everything herself though.

- Its the small things that he can make alittle better.

- Definitely would be the type to make the frustrating times better with sweet words and cuddles.

I’m not gonna do the black army tonight (today? Idk). I just gotten the ok to sleep. Hopefully my 24 hour lack of sleep brain did good lol.

[rainingincale]

I just saw your tags on the "harry was oppressed" post. Might elaborate on that when you are not tired? How Zayn was oppressed? His relationship to ot4. Other celebrities? I love your thoughts!

*cracks knuckles* buckle your seat belts folks we’re in for a wild ride here lmao.

also for context *here* is the post this anon is referring to

I think to start off i should just make a little disclaimer, everything i am going to discuss will be based in my biases probably seeing as I am also a brown British Pakistani person who is Muslim. Zayn has been someone that especially when i was younger I looked up to and was very essential in my journey of learning to love and accept myself and my culture tbh. It’s cheesy as hell but it’s true and i think this is important to know before I go into this more because like I said i am definitely biased towards him. Another thing is that I’m just going to be discussing my personal opinions and also my memory is not very good so i will probably miss out a lot of other things that happened/could be discussed. please dont take this as anything more than just. my opinion.

A thing that really opened my eyes to racism and especially the racism in the 1d fandom was the day that zayn left. I dont think thats what the post above was about btw and ill go into that but i kind of just want to talk about this. The day he left was. a severe mess. Not only because it was obviously upsetting but because of all the bs that people were spouting about a situation that absolutely no one had any context on. the statement that was released on facebook gave us nothing. literally just stated that zayn was leaving the band and the accusations and hatred people were directing towards zayn when we didnt know what actually fucking happened (and still dont might i add) was disgusting. people accusing him of being selfish and how they hated him and why he had to ruin everything. Accusing him of using mental illness as an excuse and lying about it and so much more. i had unfollow more than half of the people i followed that day. it really opened my eyes to the fact that these were all thoughts and opinions people had underneath it all and zayn was fine as long as he was part of 1d and giving people what they wanted. which was essentially being the token in the group and once he wasnt providing that anymore? people turned and people turned fast.

i think its also important to point out the flip side of it and that was zayn stans saying that 1d were nothing without 1d etc. i want to talk about why this was different from ot4 stans hating zayn. of course it wasnt nice to see or hear EVERYONE arguing with each other. i hated it so much. but i think what people failed to realise was that when it comes to situations like this you need to look deeper and think about all the nuances of the situation. zayn stans being happy about zayn leaving the band and saying 1d was going to die i did not agree with. anyone who knew me then and knows me now knows that i am a 1d stan regardless (preferably ot5 but i supported 1d until the end even as a 4some) BUT these opinions were rooted in his mistreatment in the band and the racism he was having to face as a result of being in the band etc etc i apologise for not being a person who can better describe and explain this situation but hopefully you are getting the picture. when fans were hating on zayn. with no context with nothing. that was based on racism. point blank. the amount of tweets FROM 1D FANS talking about how he was leaving to join isis and how upset fans were gonna be vulnerable and join etc etc all this deplorable bs. and he had to deal with comments like that throughout his whole time with one direction and i imagine even now. 

Another thing id like to talk about is who zayn stans at least from my point of view usually were. For me i remember when i first got into the fandom i actively made the decision that i didnt want zayn to be my favourite because i didnt want to be a stereotype and this was a point in my life when i still tried to shun and push my culture down because i was ashamed of it. it was only as i slowly saw that zayn was considered as cool and hot and everyone else liked him that i kind of understood that maybe. being brown was alright and it was something cool and that maybe i was cool. it sounds fucked up and honestly i dont even know if i want to be admitting this so adamantly but argh if it helps someone understand then maybe its worth it. (mortifying ordeal of being known eh?) anyways i noticed as i engaged more in fandom and looked for more diversity, more fans like me, majority of non white fans were also... zayn stans. and honestly it makes sense because we all tended to flock towards the closest diversity we could find it seems. im not saying that there werent white zayn stans and that the other boys didnt have non white stans but i just wanted to point out this trend. so when you also take this into account and the fact that on the day zayn left it was majorly... white stans who were criticizing zayn it puts it in perspective for you. majority of fans who still like and support zayn are also not white.

there is a lot more to do with fans but hopefully thats enough of an insight and you can understand the kind of vibes that were present during 1ds prime and what not only zayn had to go through but also as a result the racism we ended up having to deal with as well tbh.

now!!!... something i dont really like talking about lol so this will probably be short but the other boys. so as far as i can remember liams always been kind to zayn since hes left (no surprise there <3 also please correct me if im wrong), niall was kind of indifferent/didnt say anything really, and then there was louis and harry *awkward smile*. hahaha. from my memory i remember when asked about what the most difficult thing was about zayn leaving harry said ‘the paperwork’ which was *awkward smile* and he also kicked that monkey mask/pinata? i cant remember with naughty boys face on it and honestly im sure theres more but his overall reaction to zayn leaving was kind of not caring and maybe being slightly nasty which :) with louis there was the massive twitter fight which literally tears my soul in half so lets not go into that haha and honestly other things where it maybe seemed like he was upset with zayn leaving as well. honestly i am a bit in two minds about these reactions because at the end of the day we dont know what occurred behind the scenes and we probably never will as much as we can speculate or whatever. not to mention that this 10th anniversary it seems maybe everyones on good terms which, who knows really im going to try be optimistic. i think whats important to note about heir reactions is that we dont know anything about their situations but the problem was really how fans reacted tbh (btw i forgot to mention earlier this is about basically everything except for harry and the nb thing. that is inexcusable). the boys reactions were understandable but the problem is that fans of course vicariously are influenced by the boy they stan so when one of them acted a certain way of course that ended up reflecting in fandom and resulted in more racism etc. 

another thing with zayn was that there were many files leaked with like promo or whatever basically describing what kind of role the boys would take on/ their image etc. and of course all the other boys got things like bubbly/funny/charming etc and zayns descriptors? moody, mysterious, dark horse etc etc like from the inception of 1d zayn has been victim to racist stereotypes being pushed on him. and i think this is where harry comes in because of course the image pushed onto him was also extremely harmful and i definitely dont think we should not talk about that but often you'll see that... thats all that is talked about because people are uncomfortable admitting racism and talking about it. 

When i mentioned other celebrities my point was basically just that while ive only talked about zayn in one direction this... is so present among any and every fandom. 5sos, Little Mix, Fifth Harmony... any fandom you can think of, i promise you it is there. racism in fandom is a real thing and a big problem and honestly this is why i always say representation is so important. and when i say that i mean everywhere!!! because if I didnt seek out non white fans to follow then maybe i would’ve had a completely different perspective on all of this.

The thing is also that a lot of this is just stuff that we’ve been able to get our hands on and also fan analysis and theories etc. there is probably so much more to talk bout or go into or stuff we’ll never even know about. I’ve kind of had to make peace with the fact that with celebrities you just really don’t actually know anything about them.

I think i’ll end this here if there’s any more questions you have about anything feel free to ask! and again this is all just my opinion  but hopefully i’ve been able to help answer you <3 have a nice day and i hope youre hydrated!!!

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO

[perce]

me, who hasnt written much of anything in the past year but has been reading way too much fluffy ml fic lately: haha what if i drug up one of my old ml AUs to work on

vague, procrastination/indecision induced rambles beneath

i have 6 in mind that seem like fun to work on. one is best done in bullet point fic bc thats how it started here and thats all it deserves but its still fun. two is mostly just shenanigans with a side of background actual plot. third is chloé-centric set post s1 w/o s2 bc thats when i started it. another 2 are sad and i love them ( 4 being in a weird limbo state of probably being doomed to being an off-putting set of drabbles bc im not sure how i want to end it but the beginning and at least some of the middle are vaguely planned. 5 is. :) haha. i really like this one and the only reason ive not already finished it is bc i got stuck on a chapter but an idea came to me a bit ago that i think might help that.) and finally 6 i actually thought of the other day while reading a fic, despite it, honestly having no connection beyond ladybug-centric, i guess. and puns? i thought to myself a Funny Joke™ and decided that was delightful for what that one shot would actually end up being. which is to say. not as angsty as 4 or 5 bc itd get a light ending but. Potential for sadness on that one.

that all said, i think im especially itching to work on 2, 3, 5, and 6. 4 is tempting but w/o clear direction or inspiration its not. gonna kill me if i dont. lol. 1 is. actually u can search my blog for that its “gabriel isnt a terrible father au” which. christ that’s 3 y/o now. its cute and i have plenty of fun ideas in mind for it but. no clear story for it to follow atm so again not worried abt it seriously. 2, 3, and 5 are like my ml au babies or w/e we call that these days. older concepts bc i kinda fell out of the fandom a good bit before s2 came out, but im a pro at ignoring canon and will happily disregard s2&3 for them. i dont care. i mean 5 is well beyond canon anyway, and 2 is an origins au (i posted the first chapter on ao3 on a whim and have since regretted it in part bc its poorly done but also bc its been sitting there for 2.5 years w/ no updates in sight). 3 is... i guess a post s1 au that id vaguely considered attempting to get at least up and running before s2 started but alas. i love it so much though.. ik ive told sim abt a couple of these and i think i told mickey about 5, and they drew a sad mari in response to that, iirc. 

anyway i just cant seem to pick one and stick with it so here i am rambling really vaguely about them instead bc fuck it. i like ml aus but insist on keeping them to myself (mostly) until ive written them but then not actually writing them. rip. side eyes my danphan raised by ghosts au. my old friend. and all my other dp aus.

i even have a red pencil and pen to write with i just gotta DO IT. hh

edit: you know the real disappointment here? i have pv aus, one i really wanna try my hand at, ahem bc the other pv fic id actually want to bother with would be my straight up whole entire take of however that wouldve gone over, its been too long since ive interacted with a lot of pv content and id need to brush up quite a bit. and thus am not feeling as inspired for it rn. or my hyper niche pv warcraft crossover au thing that i cannot imagine anyone else out there would care about. also i think ive forgotten most of the ideas i’d had for it before which sucks.  guess this is just how im gonna be sad about the pv for now. ironic considering my icon lol

[luxexhomines]

S

Ahhh, thank you guys so much for asking!! I just compiled them all into one post so I don’t clog up your dash with several posts. Here we go! I’m going to tag this as discourse and put a cut because my answers to the letters might not please everyone, aha. It’s long, too. Major spoilers for NDRV3.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Honestly, I’m not super sure at this point. Surprise, surprise, I only just recently finished watching the rest of NDRV3 and started writing for it. And I haven’t thought about tropes that much, though I’m sure I’ve written plenty of them into my writing at some point, even if not posted on here. 

If we’re going to go Danganronpa-centric, as this is my side blog for Danganronpa writing, I’d say that I fall in love with characters that are contradictory and with seemingly bipolar or gray morals despite probably having morals as straight as an arrow myself, i.e. Nagito or Kokichi. The characters playing “straight man” and relating to the reader’s perspective are also my favorite; in a wacky situation, they offer reason and normal reactions, which I would peg Hajime as (maybe Kazuichi, too, although he’s more of a crybaby). In fanfiction, I just love hurt & comfort fics, especially involving–you guessed it–Kokichi. I am particularly partial to the Oumota chapter 5 and chapter 5 trial rewrites, which, lucky for me, both of which are quite often rewritten by spectacular writers.

If we’re going in general, I always end up reading manga with an independent, strong and decisive character that crosses worlds and/or bodies by accident or death and becomes incredibly powerful/influential in the world and dominates over other characters with skills ranging from cooking to fighting. I guess I read a lot of manhua with martial arts or other manga with game aspects to it.Writing-wise, I love reading slow burn fics, even if I haven’t read one in quite some time. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

I have a feeling this is going to go into highly controversial areas, so if you ultra ship Kaito x Maki, please turn away now...

I just hate that “man saves woman” from herself or traumatic past trope. Don’t get me wrong, I love hurt/comfort like I mentioned, but to specify, what I mean is when a strong and independent woman needs saving by a man. I realize Maki has a lot of issues from her past as an assassin and that Kaito is a viable, good option for helping her out and facing those issues, but the fact of him being a man and the way he just swoops in and fixes things forcefully by pulling her along for training just irks me. And before you ask, yes, if Kaede did it instead as a woman I would have less of a problem with it, even if I don’t like that somehow after a couple days of training together Maki somehow is better able to get along with others and most notably Shuichi despite having spent the previous entire time cooped up in her Ultimate room alone, is willing to use her experience as an assassin to help out with the investigation when she just walked out in the past, etc. Problems from a past like that would never be so easily faced in reality; people and their minds are much more stubborn than we’d like to think, too. 

In general, I am also highly averse to the Women in Refrigerators trope. To some extent, I feel that Kaede fits this trope, as a.) she is an important, pivotal, incredibly fleshed out female character and even the initial protagonist of ndrv3, b.) she dies arbitrarily for a murder she did not commit, c.) a big part of her death is written into Shuichi’s character development for making him grow as the protagonist (he sheds the cap, faces the truth, and the memory of Kaede’s last wishes serves as his support to reveal the truth several times in trial), and of course, d.) her death in the execution is grotesque as befitting of a Danganronpa execution. Kaede deserved so. much. more.

There are probably more out there, but I won’t mention them for the sake of length & time. 

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Okay! So don’t hate me for this, but I haven’t been really keeping up a bunch with fanfiction writers or specific ones that much. It just hasn’t ever been a habit of mine in the past to follow one writer–ironic, I know. There’s one that immediately comes to mind, but she’s not part of the Danganronpa fandom, so unless someone asks, I’ll leave her out of it. However, there are a couple of writers that I recently discovered through the Oumota weekend event and which I follow on my main blog, and I thoroughly enjoy reading their work. Their work also contains mentions of NDRV3 spoilers!

1. @kirastrations

I recently reblogged her work on this blog because I have so much love for the Oumota fic she wrote (which deserves more love!). It’s called One by One, One After Another, and I simply adore the way she writes Kaito’s character and experiences with the other characters throughout the game and the overarching feeling that comes across as a result of the situation and what ensues. The diction choices she makes is absolute art; I see the imagery so clearly in my head, and not a single word of hers is wasted. It’s concise while being aptly and most beautifully descriptive. Even though I’m not a huge fan of Kaito, the way she writes him and his actions make me love him. I would describe the work as a futile yet desperate and exquisite struggling, an embodiment of angst that is so beautifully painful that it appears to be an illusion. I haven’t had a chance to check out other works from her just yet, but that’s on my to-do list!

2. @golden-redhead

I love, love, love their work too. They recently posted Lavender, a Kirumi x Kaede (Tojomatsu? Kaerumi? Kirumatsu?) work for femslash Feb, and it is a post-reality Virtual AU short fic. The way they write the interaction between Kirumi and Kaede offers such a delicate, carefully constructed image and story while creating some tension between the two. They also format the story with Kirumi’s thoughts in a simple and straightforward way that is just so delicious to read. Aspects of Kirumi explored are small things that unravel into a bigger statement about her character and the nature of the killing game and the impact it has left on her. It reminds me of the way a player might gently stack up a house of cards–attentively, with a sharp eye and feel. 

3. @starlightwritesalie

They wrote these two Oumota fics for the weekend that I fell in love with, especially the one for Day 1: Heroes/Villains. Sometimes when living in the world of Danganronpa, you forget that these tragic situations and the killing game are experienced, in essence, by children. You can argue that they’re older than high schoolers for the first two games, but mentally they are still high schoolers, and let’s face it–a couple years above the legal age of being an adult in America, 18, can hardly be counted as an adult, either. They reminded me of that sickening fact so poetically yet bluntly, and the story they write only serves as a further reminder of that fact. They write statements about the situation and how the pair act in the situation that are so agonizing yet irrefutable–as is the situation that they’re both trapped in. The ending is so unbearably cruel, packed with pain, but the way they create it is so decisively soft and snatches away my breath with the truth at the heart of the game, the situation. 

So there you have it! Sorry that my answers are so long... I have too much to say, and especially about the people whom I adore. Since it said to pick 3, I didn’t get to include these two, but I also love aroseandapen and mystic-mints dearly. If you ask, I’ll write a whole paragraph on why I love them, too, although I suspect by this time you all are getting rather tired of all my talking, haha. I also didn’t include imagines blogs, but if you’re curious, feel free to ask about that since I am still kind of a imagines blog! I guess at this point I’m kind of a fusion of an imagines blog and normal fanfiction writing blog.

Thanks for asking, and if you have any more questions, feel free to shoot an ask!

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 4: Dead on Your Feet

Fandom: Voltron

Prompts;

Hidden injury

Waking up disoriented

Cant pass out

This one could be considered more graphic as it revolves around an injury, Id also like to warn about ooc because its been a minute and I havent... actually finished the series yet cause Im not prepared... as is the story of my life.

Lance doesnt think this is what his family wanted for him.

Another bullet lands home, ripping through a chest and exploding in a glorious combination of holy water and silver. It leaves a gory mess behind, but its effective for many species.

Honestly he didnt expect to end up here, at least not so soon, with these people, and such a large threat hanging the balance of the world on their shoulders.

Six months ago, Lance had been at school, doing normal teenage things. Thinking of home many miles away in Cuba, and wondering if that missing person report was a normal one or not.

It was still a couple years before he'd be allowed to do any solo hunts (above a certain level), but he still liked to keep track of things to learn and stuff. Its what his sister would do, and if he was gonna live up to their legacy, he should learn from the best. He wanted to do his part, to join the family business, but he understood his mothers hesitance.

So its just his luck, that an Angel ruins his plans. His and four others that is, some mumbo jumbo prophecy that had them being hunted down and forced into hiding, Lances student visa was definetly expired.

For six months they've been off the grid. Doing hunts his mother would have never approved of, and becoming a team Lance never would have imagined he'd be on. He still wonders if the prophecy is wrong about him, if hes put his family through all this for nothing, but then he saves someone... being able to protect people, its more than he could ever ask for.

Keith slices off another head, Shiro is incinerating left and right, Pidge is exorcising the owner, and Hunks providing cover for her. Even with several types of creatures, this hunt isn't one of their more difficult ones, in fact... its been surprisingly easy...

He twists in his snipers nest, but the creature is already on top of him, voices shout in his comm but he can barely hear them as he grapples and strains to keep teeth from his jugular. He just manages to get his pistol out when something flashes out of the corner of his eye, he tries to roll them, to get on top, manages to get his gun between them-

POPOP

"LANCE! Respond!"

He swallows thickly, kicking the creature off and rolling back to his spot, he snipes two more that had tried to take advantage of Shiros distraction,

"I'm here."

"What happened!? You good?"

"...Yeah, no worries im fine."

His face is stuck in a grimance, he tries to blame it on the stench, puts all his focus in making his shots as quickly as possible to get this done with. They were almost finished anyway, it thankfully doesnt take much longer. Pidge completes the exorcism, the last of the creatures are felled, and Allura is seemingly satisfied. She makes a short comment on Lances mishap, one he barely hears since its nothing new, but wilts under anyway.

They split up from here, as a group causes more looks, they'll meet up at their newest hideout. Lance will need to clean up first, covered in blood as he is, Lance hopes the extra time will allow him to get a grip. It was his mistake, he can deal with it.

"Dont take too long Lance, we'll need to get out of here pretty quick." Pidge calls, the first to leave.

"You sure youre okay man?" Hunk gives him another once over, nervous energy taking over now that the mission is complete.

"You know me, dont worry so much hermano."

Hunk mutter under his breath but pats his shoulder and take his exit as well.

"Good work out there Lance." Shiro nods at both Lance and Keith before taking the other exit.

Lance crosses his arms now, side twinging, but he ignores it in favor of trying to catch his breath. Keith scrutinizes him, lips pulled into a deep frown as he throws his duffel over his shoulder.

"You didnt get bit right?"

Lance regards him with an unimpressed look,

"Despite popular belief, I am not stupid enough to hide a bite."

"I never said you were stupid!" Keith defends, growling a bit, "we're just worried. See you at base." And he stalks off with a huff.

Only when he dissapears does Lance lift his shirt. Still oozing blood, his stab wound looks anything from pretty. But he could handle it, his mistake, his clean up. He takes his leave.

.

He'd never really been one to regard the cielings of truckstop showers. At least, it didnt sound like a normal thing to do. And this was a nice truckstop, walled shower stalls and nice doors that offered privacy, the cieling could use some work, and the floor wasnt nearly as comfortable as it could be, but that was probably a good thing.

Now, why he was in a truck stop shower, and where he was locationally were other questions all together. Really the only reason he'd need to be at a truck stop....

He wondered if they had milk here, he could go for some enchiladas. No wait, he wanted... where were his clothes? Why was he wet? Didnt he have something to do?

That ceiling could use some work.

The swirly designs on the walls were nice, and the squares! Wow magic swirls that turn into squares, this place was- oh! That looked like his bag! What was that doing here?

Why was he naked?

That was quite a sidewalk. It got closer to his feet every time he took a step, it had him stumbling but he could appreciate modern inventions.

Oo and the sky is so blue, and sparkly, much better than the dumpster across from him. And this darn sidewalk, his tailbone did not appreciate modern inventions.

Dumpsters. What a weird word; dump. Sters. Does the Dump stir stuff? That sounds exhausting.

Oh! That puddle looks like the ocean! Only its red, but maybe the coral is just extra reflective today, cause thats definetly how it works. Shut up Rachel.

"LANCE! Oh my Gods.... just hang on buddy, come on hermano look at me!"

Why does his head feel so heavy?

"Pidge! Call, anyone! Just hurry! Lance, stay with me!"

He knew that face! Such a pretty face, he helped Lance with his math homework, Lance only needed the one question but he was so nice Lance couldnt tell him he was fine... oh! Thats what he forgot!

"'M fine."

He was supposed to be okay cause he made a mistake, crap he was supposed to fix it!

"Shhh, its okay bud, we'll fix you right up, you'll be okay."

"We gotta get him out of here Hunk. Keep him awake."

And there goes the world, and any food he mighta had in him.

"Quiznak! Hurry it up, hes losing too much blood!"

"Stay awake! Lance stay aw-"

..

"I knew he looked bad. I should have stayed with him."

"I should have checked on him immediately, he was radio silent for too long."

"He was watching your backs... I shouldnt have yelled at him for getting snuck up on. Watching six backs is hard enough."

"Dios mio, I'm not dead." Though he sounds like a croak for sure.

"Lance! How do you feel?? Do you need water??? Are you comfortable?????"

"Give him some space Hunk!"

Lance scans the faces around him, before falling back on Hunk, he vaguely remembered being in his arms.

"What happened?"

"You passed out in my arms and gave me a heart attack after I told you to stay awake, thats what happened!" Hunk is crying at this point and Lance blanches at the thought.

He reaches a hand out quickly, to offer any comfort he can since the rest of his body fails to quaporate. Hunk takes the hand though, so he'll take it as a win.

"You got stabbed... during the hunt. Do you remember that?" Shiro asks carefully.

"Oh... right. Im sorry, I know I should have been more careful."

"No, we're sorry for not making sure you were okay. You got attacked and still had our backs, thats impressive, but I would much preffer to know youre injured Lance."

He stares at him a moment, trying to compute the statement.

"But... I made a mistake. Im supposed to make sure to fix the mistake so it doesnt happen again."

"As your team, we should be supporting eachother. And that means, ensuring everyone is safe after a mission and makes it home." Allura finally steps forward, and Lance is alarmed to find tear tracks on the Angels cheeks.

"We'll do better next time. We never want you or anyone, hiding an injury again okay?"

Everyone seems very ernest about this, and Lance has a hard time denying them as it is.

"...Alright... I'll be more careful next time though I promise."

"And we'll find a way to have your back while you have ours."