#i cannot stress how much this means to me he’s my favorite performer of all time this is like me meeting the beatles or something

[daisybees]

i met john gallagher jr today i’m gonna pass out

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Kinktober Day 8 || Missionary

PAIRING || Boyfriend!Tony Stark x Girlfriend!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || 3K

SUMMARY || You've been having a tough time now that the end of your residency is approaching, and Tony comes home early from his mission to be there for you, and giving you a night to truly relax together.

RATING || Explicit (E)

TAGS || Canon compliant. Former sugar relationship. Established relationship.

SMUT || Dirty talk. Praise/praise kink. Fingering. Fingersucking. Missionary. Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!). Aftercare.

A/N || AAAH, this was one of my favorite stories to write and share! Again, I want to give my thanks and undying love to my bestie @ccbsrmsf1; I cannot tell you enough how grateful I am for the support and proofreading! 🤍

All graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Tony Stark || Sugar Daddy!Tony Stark || Kinktober 2024

For as long as you can remember, you have dreamt of attending medical school and going through all the classes and training necessary to fulfill your dream job: a surgeon. While the road to get here certainly hasn’t been easy, you’re finally nearing the end of your residency and your time in medical school. All the years of experience have taught you a lot, but the one thing that sticks with you daily is how important it is to spend time with the people (and cats) you love.

In one month, you will officially graduate and become a surgeon within SHIELD’s medical team, where you’re currently doing your residency. But before that day is here, you have a few more long, demanding shifts ahead of you, and today, you’ve just come out of one of those. You had to perform one surgery after the other, and even though they all were successful, you did make some mistakes that shouldn’t have been made, leaving you with a stone in your stomach.

The elevator ride up to the penthouse is taking too long for your liking as you lean against the back wall, your eyes shut tight to push your evil thoughts and insecurities away. On top of all this, you’re also dreading stepping into the penthouse, as there’s nothing but a large, silent space waiting for you. Tony is gone for a mission that will last a few weeks, and Moon is staying at Bucky’s, where he is being spoiled rotten with Alpine. However, you’re met with a surprise as you smell the scent of your favorite food while the elevator doors open.

“H-hello? Is anybody there?” you ask carefully, your steps cautious as you enter your home.

“Yes, there is! But it’s just me, Sugar,” you hear your boyfriend say as he steps around the corner to greet you, and you can feel your body relax instantly at the sound of his voice. He was supposed to be gone for at least another week, so you’re not entirely sure why he’s home already, but you’re not going to question it as you let yourself fall into his strong, comforting, warm embrace.

“Hmmm, I missed you so much, you know that? I hate to be gone for this long,” Tony whispers as you let your hands glide under his shirt, the exceptional warmth of his body comforting in its way - he always tends to run hotter than the average person. You use it well when you’re cold or need comfort, as the warmth reminds you of him.

“Missed you too,” you murmur against his chest, not ready to let him go anytime soon. He’s been gone for a little over three weeks, which means you have a lot of cuddles to catch up on, so you might as well get a head start now. His hand gently cups your head as his thumb rubs soothing circles. As he does, you can feel the stress of the past weeks without him flowing away with every passing second.

You’re unsure how long you two stand in each other’s arms, but when you pull away, you feel about ten pounds lighter, and you’re finally able to kiss your boyfriend the way you’ve been longing to in his absence. The thought of being able to kiss him again has been on your mind constantly, and it has been part of some of your dirty thoughts, too.

Tony’s lips feel like heaven as you take your time to get reacquainted with them, his taste being something you’ve missed more than you thought. A soft moan escapes as his fingers dig into your sides, your body responding to his touch in a way that can only be described as desperation.

Your hands wander from his neck into his hair, pulling gently on the roots as his hands squeeze your hips in excitement, his pants becoming tighter the longer you two take your time with the kiss. The heat steadily rises between you two, and every last thought of what happened when Tony was gone slowly leaves your brain as his tongue makes it impossible to think. And he hasn’t even taken any of your clothing off yet.

“Sugar,” Tony says as he wants you to look at him, the need for air becoming too much, his words coming out breathy as he looks into your eyes with a slight smirk - “I made us a simple dinner; I figured you’d be hungry right about now. After that, I promise to give you all my time, attention, and love as I make you fall apart on my fingers and cock over and over again.”

Tony is nothing if not a man of his word, so after you two enjoyed your dinner - one of your favorite dishes that he learned to make especially for you - and a sweet dessert that has you feeling very content now that you’re on the bed, cuddling with Tony. Your head is on his chest, your leg is hooked over his, and his hand is playing with your hair while the other is rubbing soothing figures on your arm. Life couldn’t be more perfect if you’d tried.

“Thank you for coming home, Tony; I can’t believe how much I missed spending time with you,” you tell him as your eyes are shut, and you feel comfortable and soft. A small smile lights up his features, a feeling of pride swelling somewhere deep inside him. Before he had the honor of falling in love with you, he would never have considered being missed by anyone, but now that you two have had the chance to explore your love after your arrangement, he wouldn’t want it any other way. Thankfully, he’s not shy about admitting he missed you, either.

“You don’t have to thank me, Sugar, I promise. As soon as I heard you weren’t feeling well, I went home when I got permission from Steve and Nat. They didn’t hesitate for a moment when I told them that you needed me, and they practically pushed me out the door and into the Quinjet before I even had the chance to finish my sentence,” he says with a giant smile as he thinks back to that moment.

“Go, she needs you much more than we do, Stark! We’ll be fine. And besides, you’ve already been away for too long, so you have a lot to catch up on,” Natasha says as she throws some of Tony’s things in a duffel bag. All he can do is stand there and watch as she’s doing everything short of throwing him over her shoulder and carrying him to the Quinjet. Then, before she zips up the bag, she spots a small red box on the floor, reaching for it before Tony can say anything about it.

“Is this what I think it is?” Natasha asks with a quirked brow, and the color on Tony’s cheeks rivals the color of the small velvet box his fellow Avenger is holding. He nods, not trusting what might come out of his mouth when he does. He carries the ring everywhere, even if you’re not with him, because he can’t help but think of it as his good luck charm - you usually are his good luck charm, but on missions, this will have to do.

“Who’d have thought you’d ever go down on one knee? I surely didn’t until you met her. But you two are made for each other, Tony. I can see how happy you make her; she deserves someone as amazing as you. Go home and ask her to marry you already!” she says with a large grin, throwing the box to Tony, who easily catches it.

“Thank you, Nat, it means a lot,” he says as he grabs his bag, ready to go home to you.

“How’re you feeling?” It's a simple question, but still, you don’t have a clear answer. There’s still a lot going on inside you, and you want nothing more than for your boyfriend to silence every last thought going wild inside of you. Without saying anything, you move in a way so that you’re straddling him, leaning forward and kissing him with a passion and hunger that your boyfriend happily reciprocates.

A soft moan escapes your lips as his hips buck up, pressing his rapidly hardening length into your waiting core. Then, it becomes clear to Tony what you’re looking for, but he has a different plan for tonight. His arms circle your waist, holding you so that it’s safe to turn until your back is on the bed, and he is now on top of you instead of the other way around. His lips don’t leave yours for a second, making him incredibly proud as he deepens the kiss.

“Tony,” you say in a breathy voice, your chest heaving as you look up at him with neediness in your eyes.

“It’s okay, Sweet Girl; let me take the lead tonight, and I’m going to give you a night you’ll never forget,” he whispers before placing a few kisses on your cheek and your jawline, making your body feel hot, and your panties wetter than ever. You nod in agreement, allowing Tony to strip you completely naked before doing the same to himself. Your legs are spread wide to accommodate him being comfortable between them, your head propped up on a pillow so you can see exactly what he’s doing.

“Look at that, Sugar. ‘S all because of you- ‘m so fucking hard for you,” Tony groans as his hand strokes his painfully hard length, and it makes a wave of arousal soar through your body as you drip onto the sheets below you. Then, without warning, he works one of his thick fingers into you, making your back arch, and a loud moan bounces off the walls as he gently stretches you, as the last thing he wants is to hurt you.

“Good girl.”

The praise makes you preen as he takes his time stretching you on one finger, then two, and finally, when you can take three of his fingers comfortably, he takes them out before offering them to you. Without a second thought, you wrap your lips around his long digits, licking them entirely clean with a soft hum of approval. The entire time, Tony’s cock is throbbing from pure excitement as you look at him with your big, pleading eyes.

“So beautiful,” he whispers as a smile tugs at a corner of his mouth. After your boyfriend is delighted with how you cleaned his fingers, he wraps his hand around himself again, stroking a few times before moving to line up with your waiting entrance. His pink tip slips in without much resistance, making him groan as he feels your warmth around him again, and his thoughts are slipping away alongside yours.

“That’s it, you take me so well, Sugar. You feel like heaven around me,” he tells you as he gently thrusts into you, ensuring he’s taking it at a pace you’re comfortable with. The entire time, he can’t stop telling you how good you feel and how much he loves you, your heart swelling and your cheeks heating at the praise he’s giving you. Simultaneously, he knows it’s exactly what you need, as if he read your mind.

“I love you, ‘m so lucky to have fallen in love with you, you know that? Such a beautiful, sweet, caring girl who’s all mine. God, you would look perfect when carrying my babies - your perfect belly all swollen after I’ve fucked you in every position imaginable,” he groans, your nipples perking up even more at the thought as you suck him in even deeper with your eager pussy.

“Oh, you like that, huh? I- I just know that you’d make the best Mommy ever, and when you’re pregnant- fuck- I’d drink from you every single day, Sugar. Your milk will be so sweet as I take my fill from you,” he tells you, his pace picking up as he does. Your nails dig into his shoulders at the thought, your brows furrowing as the edge of your release slowly comes closer and closer. As Tony looks down to where you two are connected, he gasps softly, and a wicked grin spreads that has you following his line of sight.

“Hmm, I’m so deep I can see myself in your belly,” he whispers, and he slowly pulls his hips back before thrusting back in with renewed enthusiasm as he can see himself. It’s always a massive ego boost for Tony, and the obscene moan slipping from your lips is clear evidence that you’re enjoying the sight, too. Once Tony’s nestled deep inside you again, he repositions himself slightly so that he can set a better pace, and your hands move to his back as your legs wrap around his waist to pull you even further into him.

“I-I’m close- please,” you pant out, the pleasure you’re feeling almost overwhelming as he keeps the same pace and drives you to the edge you’re longing to fall over. As you drag your nails over your boyfriend’s back, he groans loudly, adding to your pleasure until the sweet release you’ve been craving is finally there. A loud shout of his name bounces through your bedroom as he fucks every last thought out of your brain, his forehead pressed against yours as a layer of sweat adorns your body.

With a few more faltering thrusts, Tony buries his cock deep inside you and his face in your neck as every last drop of his cum is eagerly milked by your body, leaving both of you satisfied beyond belief. It’s everything you needed and more, but when he pulls his softening cock out of you, you let out a little whimper at the loss of him. He presses a soft kiss to your nose to soothe you, making a dopey smile appear as he peppers your cheeks in kisses, too.

“I love you, Sugar, ‘m the luckiest man on earth right now,” he tells you after getting comfortable beside you, allowing you to snuggle into his side, exactly like you were before you two made love. Before you can answer, though, you’ve fallen asleep in his arms. Every time Tony’s gone, you don’t sleep as well, and you’ve also come out of a few 12-hour shifts, meaning you’re more tired than usual.

“Sleep well, Sugar,” he murmurs as he looks at you, followed by a kiss on the crown of your head. Once he’s sure you’re deeply asleep, he gently gets up from the bed to get a surprise ready for you. After pulling on a pair of pants, a henley, and a pair of shoes, he makes his way to Bucky’s apartment, not giving a single hoot about how he looks after he had sex with you. He’s proud to show off the fact you two made love, and his post-sex hair is a trophy he wears proudly.

After a few short knocks, Bucky opens the door while holding Moon and Alpine to ensure they won’t run away.

“Hi, Tony,” Bucky smiles before stepping aside, letting the other man into his apartment. Once the door is shut, Bucky bends down to put the felines down, and they make a beeline to Tony, who happily gives them all the attention they could desire.

“How is she? I know she’s been having a tough week,” Bucky says, his voice tapering off near the end. You and Bucky are pretty good friends, and even though he tried cheering you up, he knew you needed Tony more than him, so he sent Steve a message about your well-being.

“She’s better now; when she came home, she looked like she was on the verge of collapsing due to her tiredness, and it breaks my heart to see her that way, you know? But I know she’s doing what she loves, so I will always support her. Again, thank you for sending that message; I appreciate it.” Tony claps Bucky on the shoulder, who smiles in answer to his words.

“No need to thank me, Tony. You would’ve done the same for me,” Bucky says, and he’s right. While they haven’t always seen eye to eye, they’ve turned it all around, and now they’ve managed to build somewhat of a friendship. It hasn’t always been easy, but with your help, they’re getting along more than you ever could have anticipated. Then, Tony says his goodbyes before scooping up Moon, ready to take him back to your penthouse.

While Tony and Moon are standing in the elevator, Tony can't help but talk to Moon, as he missed him a lot during his time away for the mission.

"I'm happy to be back with you. Do you know that? Even though you're more like a black and white cat now, with Alpine's fur everywhere! Though Mommy won't mind, I'm sure of that. She's so excited to see you, my sweet Moon. Are you ready to go and see Mommy again?" As if to answer him, he gives his Daddy a soft meow, making Tony smile.

As soon as he steps into the penthouse, Moon jumps from Tony’s arms into the bedroom as if he knows exactly where to find you. When Tony walks into the bedroom, he sees Moon curled up by your side, purring with his eyes closed. The sight is one Tony never wants to forget, and he snaps a photo before making his way to the bathroom, ready to take a nice hot bath. The rest of the night is spent together in said bath with some fruit and your favorite chocolates, followed by a much-needed massage and more snuggles in bed.

“Thank you for everything, Tony. You gave me exactly what I needed today,” you say, scratching Moon behind his ears as he lies on your boyfriend’s lap. Then, you lean in, softly kissing your boyfriend’s nose, making him blush. You’re getting more comfortable and ready for more sleep, and when it finally takes you under again, you’re having some of the best rest. And it’s all because you’re with the man you love more than anything.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is: Wormdebut! Wormdebut has published 18 fics on AO3 all in the steddie tag!

@thefreakandthehair recommends the following works by @wormdebut:

Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back

Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)

Hell Bent For Leather

All You Have Is Your Fire

It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)

Worm is incredible! For a humble worm, they sure know how to write fanfiction. ;) But seriously, Worm has a way of exploring different dynamics in such depth with an immense amount of care that's so obvious in the finish products! -- @thefreakandthehair

Below the cut, Wormdebut answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

These two idiots inspire me. I mean look at them. I think the thing I love about Steve and Eddie is that to me they are destined to be together. Post-Canon, Alternate Universe. It doesn’t matter. They are meant to be together in any scenario. I could and will write about these two forever.

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Rockstar Eddie, baby. I love some good sex, drugs and rock and roll.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

Is safe (mostly)sane and consensual BDSM a trope? I like to write that. 😂

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

Tuesday’s Gone With The Wind - Thisapplepielife there is nothing quite like reading this for the first time. I truly thought I was going to explode as it was being updated.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

Omegaverse! I have a fic in the worm vault that will come out eventually. Wormegaverse. It’s coming. I’m fucking stoked for it.

What is your writing process like?

Hoooboy. It’s a mess. I cannot write an outline to save my life. (I’m looking at you King of Hell Eddie fic. I know you need an outline okay?) I tend to write in order, but if I get stuck I will skip a scene or two ahead so I can figure out how to squish two pieces of a story together OR I will write little notes about my intentions and skip it and come back. (My favorite note of all time is when I wrote “spit kink shit.” So I could remember my very pure intentions)

Do you have any writing quirks?

Boy do I! I tend to go into like writing fugue states where I will just bust out thousands of words in a sitting and if I am not doing that I am thinking and over thinking about when im gonna fugue out again. I also get really stressed when it actually comes time to write a sex scene? Weird, I know. But every single one is super important to me and I want to make sure they read well. My friends can attest that I am an absolute basket case when it comes to me writing Steve and Eddie getting down and dirty.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

God when I’m done. I am NOT great at posting chaptered fics but I am trying to get better with it? I prefer writing larger pieces though. I am an over-thinker to a fault and for some reason I stress less with one-shots.

Which fic are you most proud of?

It’s gotta be Kiss Your Knuckles. That fic is everything to me. But my Boys Who Kiss series is also so fucking important to me. Those two have so much more to tell y’all and I can’t wait to share their lives with you. I’m a musician so any of my fics that are heavily laced with performance and song are very special.

How did you get the idea for Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)?

I remember listening to Twin Size Mattress one day and I was like—Holy Shit, this is so Steddie-Coded it hurts. And it’s post-canon AND Rockstar Eddie? Incredible. The words just screamed Eddie Behavior and I knew Steve had to write a one-hit wonder about how he felt.

When writing Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face), what was something you didn’t expect?

Oh I sobbed when I finished it. I couldn’t believe that I had actually finished it. It truly means the world to me and I wanted to share it with you all so badly. I cried for like an hour.

What inspired It Feels Like Fourteen Carats But No Clarity (When I Look At The Man Who Would Be King)?

Honestly? Tumblr user @ghosttotheparty had made a post about the scenario that Fourteen Carats is about and I messaged them and was like hey listen I want to take a shot at this, if that’s okay. Fourteen Carats is the first fully formed fic that I have ever posted aside from tumblr Drabbles and while I personally don’t love it I keep it up just in case someone somewhere does. 😂

What was your favorite part to write from All You Have Is Your Fire?

OH. Absolutely just eluding to Tattoo Legend and Icon, Jim Hopper. God he so fucking hot neat.

How do/did you feel writing Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back?

I felt some type of a way, clearly. I think this is my favorite Eddie that I have ever written (My favorite Steve is Kiss Your Knuckles Steve) and he just kept getting more and more interesting. Like who the hell fucks you and speaks French while they do it? Tell Eddie Eddie does. And thank god for that guy.

What was the most difficult part of writing Hellbent For Leather?

Writing sub/bottom Eddie! I did this fic as a gift for tumblr user @gorgeousgreymatter-x (love you bitch) and it was hard because I don’t often write that dynamic, but god damn I loved these two Steddies.

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

Ah— “It is, and I do.” Something about French chef Eddie, really—yeah. I am proud of everything I have written but if I can be honest with you I rarely remember what I have done. I often joke that it’s simply Steve and Eddie in my brain just writing what they want, because people will quote my work or talk to me about a scene and I’m like—‘I wrote that?? Nice.’

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

WELL. Once I can break myself out of this accidental hiatus I am so excited to share more of For Your Entertainment with yall. I am also so fucking excited to share King Of Hell Eddie with the world. I can’t fucking wait. I am working on a ‘Came Back Wrong’ fic that is less scary and more comedic and I am stoked for that. I have quite a few things that are happening and I am just so fucking excited to share them all with you. 

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Just thank you. Thank you for reading and thanks for letting me be a part of all of this. I have not felt this inspired and loved in a long fucking time and I’m not going anywhere so I hope yall will stick around for the wild ride. Fucking love you.

Thank you to our author, Wormdebut, and our nominator, @thefreakandthehair! See more of Wormdebut's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[igotanidea]

Number one: Foggy Nelson x reader

Request: Reader is pregnant, but she doesn't realise yet. Matt can tell, because of his super senses thing and he breaks the news to her, and she rushed to tell Foggy.

A/N: changed the original request in that "rushes to tell him" part, adding a bit of hesitancy on reader's part. Hope you'll still like it anon :)

***

They were just hanging at Josie’s, having fun, getting drinks and enjoying time spent together outside of the law firm and the whole Daredevil business.

Matt, Foggy and Y/N.

Just like the old times, though a lot has changed.

“I’m going to get us a round of something stronger. On me!” Y/N raised from her chair, ready to head towards the bar.

“No, honey. Stay. I can’t let my girlfriend serve me.” Foggy kissed the top of her head quickly taking over in placing the order.

“Oh and since when are you a prince charming?” she mocked playfully.

“Always been. Too bad you didn’t notice the treasure you got for yourself.”

And with those words he headed towards the bar to get everyone's favorites.

“He’s a gem.” Y/N chuckled, turning back towards Matt, but upon seeing his expression, the smile died on her lips and she frowned in confusion. “Hey Murdock, you ok?”

“I don’t think you should be drinking tonight, Y/N.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” her confusion only grew bigger with Matt’s every word.

“Just don’t—”

“Ok, listen up, devil, I’m in no mood for your games, you either tell me what is going on or I swear-“

“Hey, hey, relax!” Matt smirked characteristically “I seriously forgot how defensive you can get at times.”

“Can you really blame me? I’ve been dealing with you and Foggy for way too long for it to not rub off me.”

“Well. Speaking of Foggy, when was the last time you two have—”

“MATTHEW MURDOCK!”

“I’m just asking-“

“This is none of your business! Jeez!” Y/N reached for her water, taking big, loud sips, trying to calm her nerves at Matt’s audacity and control her burning cheeks. “You’re unbelievable! Have you seen me asking about your performance in the area?”

“Come on, you know I had nothing wrong on my mind-“

“You better keep your mouth shut.” She spat angrily.

“Have you told him yet?” Murdock smirked again.

“Told who what?”

“Foggy.”

“I swear if you don’t stop talking cryptic I will…” she hesitated wondering what she could threaten the daredevil himself with, to make it convincing.

“Take a deep breath, princess. All that stress cannot be good for the baby.”

“Baby?” she almost choked at the word, coughing so excessively that it made Foggy look at her from the distance. Luckily Matt sensed his friend’s concern and smiled from above Y/N’s arm at the attempt to calm Franklin down. “What baby? What are you talking about Matt? Is this a joke, cause if so, it’s not funny at all and-“

“Y/N, sunshine, you don’t need me to tell you that. You already know.”

“Well there’s knowing and knowing. You sure, though? I mean, I know your super senses work in a strange way, but-“

“I’m sure.”

“So next thing you do, you’re going to tell me the future? Maybe a glimpse on the gender?” It might have been fake, but it sounded like her voice had a hint of hope for that.

“Nah, can’t spoil the surprise for the happy parents, can I?” he chuckled, corners of his mouth travelling upwards. “And as much as I would love to act like a diviner, this is not how my thing works. You’re going to have to figure it out by yourself.”

“Figure out what?” Foggy clearly heard the last part of their conversation, immediately wanting to be let in on whatever secret his best friend and girlfriend were discussing.

“The future.” Y/N quickly responded, her heartbeat a little accelerated and her breathing a little ragged. She didn’t want Foggy to find out about his future role like this. Not in a bar, with the bottle of beer in hand. No.

She was going to tell him, but at an appropriate time and place. Preferably choosing some veiled way to give him a hint. He was a lawyer, equals smart, equals he would put two and two together.

While her thoughts were spinning like crazy, both Foggy and Matt noticed her distraction, though each of them for very different reasons.

Matt was simply looking at her from the opposite side of the table, smirking knowingly. It was adorable how she was blushing and sweating, after he broke the news to her. Almost as if she wasn’t planning it while it was no secret, both her and Foggy were meant to start a family soon. And Matt was happy for both his friends.

Meanwhile Foggy, once again became alerted seeing his girl’s reddened cheeks and shaking hands.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay? You look a little flustered. Has Matt been throwing jokes at you?”

“More than one joke, actually-“ she muttered, draining the remaining water from the glass. “But rooted in reality.”

“Oh.” Foggy threw glances between both his companions. “Do you maybe want to share?”

“All at the right time, Franklin. All at the right time.” Matt gave Y/N a smile and patted his friend’s back. He was not going to spoil the surprise for Foggy, besides he had a feeling that Y/N was quite sceptical about the news he gave her and would like to check everything three times before spreading it to the father-to-be. “And I don’t think she will be drinking that beer after all.”

***

There was still a chance that Matt was wrong, right? That whatever he sensed or saw in her body was just a slip, right? Obviously, he couldn’t have seen anything she missed. It was her body after all. If anyone was to feel any changes it would be her, right?

At the moment, she was locked in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, clutching the pregnancy test in her shaking hands, waiting for the results to come. Minutes dragging into hours as her feet couldn’t be still on the ground, instead stomping on the floor in some crazy, uncontrolled rhythm.

Two lines.

With a sigh and spinning head, she laid the stick on the counter, next to the previous five that were showing the same two lines over and over.

Seemed like Matt was right after all, damn his ass! It was almost embarrassing that a man read right through her body like it was something that he was allowed to!

She was going to be a mom to a little bean, already growing in her womb.

And that was—

Amazing. Heartwarming. Exhilarating.

-Terrifying.-

Her hand instinctively found a way to her stomach, caressing it softly, now with full knowledge that she was already two beings in one and that it came with a whole checklist of responsibilities, starting from doctor’s appointments and healthy diet, ending on shopping and nursing an innocent, fragile being that were to show up in the world.   

Her baby.

She smiled to herself already imagining tiny hands reaching for her. Tiny feet with tiny little toes, perfect for tickling and caressing. Tiny face, perfect for smooches. Pretty little eyes and innocent looks full of trust.

Her baby.  

Her and Foggy’s baby.

And now there was no way she could pretend anymore.

He had to know.

She had to tell him. Knowing that Foggy would be happy too. But just like he said to Matt, the night before – there was knowing and knowing.

***

 “How was your day?” Foggy put his bag down in the hallway and rushed to the living room to Y/N’s side, leaning over her pecking the top of her head in that signature gesture that was speaking volumes.

“Bearable.” She retorted, putting down her book and shifting a little on the couch, to make more space for him. Obviously, he took it as a cue to move closer and pull her into a hug, allowing her to snuggle into his side. “But it’s much better now.”  

Foggy chuckled.

“You are becoming a little cheesy Y/N, you know that?”

“Oh really? Too bad for you, your girlfriend is turning into a cheap romantic.”

“Another cute trait of you I’ll have to learn how to deal with.”

“And who’s cheesy now?” she rolled her eyes, poking his chest playfully.

“Hey! Stop it!” his hand wrapped around her wrist, before interlacing their fingers “at least we match, don’t we?”

“We do.” She grinned playing with his hand, before realising something “Oh! I totally forgot! There’s a parcel for you. Came earlier today, I left it in the kitchen.”

“In the kitchen?! And you’re only telling me this now?” Foggy feigned offence “there’s no way I’m going to move anywhere while you are so comfortably settled in my arms, love.”

“It might be important though-“

“Nothing is more important than my time with my girl.”

“But what if--?”

“Why are you acting like you want me to move away from you?” Foggy gave her a look, trying to read right through her and figure whether she was hiding something.

“Franklin Nelson, do not give me your lawyer stare, I am not one of your clients-“

“Of course not. Cause if you were, I’d have to recuse myself from the case due to personal reasons. And then, Matt will be the one to handle you. I mean – “ he grinned playfully “your case. Not you per se. Cause you are mine.”

“Ok, ok, I get it, but—”

“No. No Y/N, look at me.” She obediently met his eyes “You are mine. I do love you, you know it? And I may not me the vigilante, but I will always protect and cherish you-”

“Oh, Foggy…” she leaned to kiss him softly “I do love you too. And believe me, I do not need nor want a vigilante. Why would I when I have a hero sitting right next to me?”

“Cheesy, told you.”

“Ok, you know what, you are right. I do want you to get away and see what’s in that parcel.” She mocked “Because it may be addressed to you, but I am the one who seems to be more curious about the content. Did you order some sort of gift for me?”

“No that I know of.” Foggy walked to the kitchen and carried back the medium sized box, wrapped up in a pretty paper and with a bow on the top. “There was no label here? No sender’s details?”

“Nope. Not a single thing. Hey, are you having a secret admirer, I should be jealous of?”

“I can assure you, that since I met you I haven’t been flirting with any girls.”

“That’s not an answer dear.”

“Well maybe we should just look inside and check for ourselves?”

With that word, he started to carefully untie the ribbon and unwrap the box. Slowly and methodically as if he was defusing the potential bomb. Once the paper was off he put his hands inside retrieving…

“Shoes?” His expression showed a hell lot of confusion. Two soft slippers, small enough to fit on the palm of his hand “I don’t understand. Why would someone send me baby shoes? It’s not like I need any—”

“Um… Foggy…”

“It’s almost as if someone were suggesting that—” suddenly it dawned on him, his eyes grew wide. “Y/N…” it seemed like the whole blood drained from his face.

“Foggy, please just listen to me, I can explain-“ now she was sure that he did not like the news and it was too much of a shock. “Sit down and we can talk about it –” Y/N raised from the couch, grabbing his hand, hoping to calm and ground him.

“Y/N… Are you- are you pregnant?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re pregnant with my baby?!” he exclaimed

 “Well, you’re the only one with whom-“ she managed to stutter, not sure how to proceed with his unusual behaviour. Foggy didn’t seem mad, but he also was not over the moon. “Foggy, dear, I swear I can-“

“You are pregnant with my baby!” he exclaimed again, rushing to hug and hold her. “We’re gonna be parents! I am going to be A FATHER!”

“Yes, yes you are, but—”

“Oh, Y/N, love! You have made me the happiest man on earth!” he cried out, pulling her closer, before realising that she was now carrying their baby and it might have been too tight. “I’m sorry. I;m just so excited!”

“So… you’re not mad?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” he pulled back, looking right into her yes “Did you think I would be anything but happy?”

“Well, it is unexpected and we didn’t exactly plan it—”

“And that was the reason you thought I would be mad? Y/N, love, I’ve already learnt that the best things in life are those that you cannot plan. I was never meant to go to law school. I was never meant to meet Matt, and he was never meant to become a daredevil. But all those little things, those little steps? They led me straight to you. None of that was planned and yet, turned out to be the best unexpected surprise I could ever hope and wish for. So, please, dear, when will you understand?”

“Understand what?”

“That I love you, that I’m not ever letting you go. Ever. And I’m not saying this in some creepy kind of way, but in a man-in-love kind of way. You are my world. Well – you two are my world now.” He smiled, placing palm on her belly. “And if anything, it’s the best damn thing I could wish for. Just imagine Matt’s face when we tell him.”

“Actually-“

“Please do not tell me he already knows!”

“Well, I wasn’t the one to tell him!”

“Well, I don’t care if he’s the Daredevil or the god himself, he couldn’t have known before me!”

“HE knew even before me!”

“Do you think we should tell him to piss off?”

“Foggy!” she laughed “since when do you use gutter language? Besides, he is your best friend.”

“Mhm. Best friend, indeed. But you are my family. So, he’d better stay back, because—”

She chuckled again and leaned to kiss him, before he could even finish that sentence.

“We are going to be parents.” She reminded him, emphasising the first word. “You and me, Foggy. Think about that.”

“You and me” he repeated leaning his forehead on her.

“Mhm. Yes. You and me. And I can already tell you are going to be the best father.”

“And how do you know? Did Matt maybe tell you that?”

“You’re so silly, Franklin.”

“That’s a valid question!”

“Then no. Maybe it’s impossible, but I know it from the way my inside tingled when you touched my stomach. As if our two-week-old baby already knows you. As if he or she knows you are going to accept them, love them and take care of them once they show up in this world.”

“Hm. If that’s the baby’s opinion—" he pulled her closer to his chest again.

“Not only. The mother agrees with it completely.”

Foggy chuckled, his heart racing as he kept holding onto Y/N.

He was finally going to have his own family.

And as much as he loved Matt as his best friend, Foggy was definitely going to tease him about the fact that it was him, who got the pretty girl this time.

That he was number one for her. 

[ploppythespaceship]

Star Trek: Prodigy - Season 2

I've finally caught up with the second season of Prodigy, and despite my annoyance with how it was given to Netflix, barely promoted, and dropped all at once... I'm happy to say it's another great season of Trek. It's not perfect, there were definitely plenty of things that annoyed me, but overall it's an even stronger outing than the first season that cements the show's place as my favorite of the modern Star Trek shows.

I cannot stress enough -- if you passed on this show because it's animated, because it's a kid series, because you don't like the modern Treks, anything like that, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a try. I desperately hope we'll get a third season.

Full spoilers under the cut.

What I Liked

I'm a sucker for convoluted time travel plots, so the main arc of this season was right up my alley. I was glad to see the more interesting story lines of the first season weren't abandoned, like Solum and the Vau N'Akat -- instead, they take center stage.

The timeline and all the paradoxes were honestly so complex I'm surprised they went for it on a kids' show, but I had a blast with it. Like all time travel plots, it does fall apart if you poke at it too much -- but that doesn't matter! It's fun, and it's there to facilitate the characters and the universe.

It's also just a relief to see a season that's actually long enough to properly tell the story it wants to tell. This is a full twenty episodes, meaning there's actually time for the major plot beats to breathe, time to develop the characters, time to explore their relationships. This seems so basic that I almost feel I shouldn't be pointing it out at all, but modern TV seasons keep shrinking. This is an example of how to do it right.

As a life-long Janeway/Chakotay shipper... my heart is happy. Even if they don't officially hook up, there's so much there.

Also, this show does better by Chakotay in a handful of episodes than Voyager did in seven years. He has an honest to goodness character arc. We actually learn what tribe he comes from. We get a glimpse of why he chose to join the Maquis. He gets to actually be cool.

In general, I like how to legacy characters are handled in this show. They're included purposefully, with meaningful arcs and relationships, but still very clearly playing second fiddle to the cast of new characters. That's exactly how it should stay.

Dal has a solid arc. Last season he learned how to step up and be the captain, and this season he learns when to step aside and let someone else take charge. And frankly I love that for him.

Overall, the characters are as charming as ever. Rok and Zero are easily my favorites, and the rest are a ton of fun. Admittedly, Maj'el took some time to grow on me, but she eventually did -- and her budding relationship with Zero is utterly adorable. I love how it's never really pointed out or harped on, it's just shown through their interactions.

What I Didn't Like

Unfortunately, the animation is still not great. I don't typically watch shows with this animation style, so maybe it's par for the course, but even after two seasons -- forty episodes! -- I find it odd and distracting. The main issue is that characters and voices don't match. The lip sync is often fairly off, and the vocal performances are often much more expressive than what's on screen.

Also, while the vast majority of the character designs are great, there are definitely more stinkers this time around. The Doctor looks atrocious. Wesley is a bit terrifying. And Zero's corporeal form is so bland and uninspired that I was relieved to see them return to a metal suit again.

You can definitely feel the hands of the writers contorting events to make sure that all the same characters are the protagonists again. They're not really naturally set up to be involved in these events, and I wish it felt a tad more natural. (If we do get a season three, it looks like they're better set up for a new story line, so I hope this won't be an issue going forward.)

For the most part, the blending of serialized and episodic works quite well. But two episodes in the first half of the season definitely don't work for that -- the racing episode, and Zero receiving their corporeal body. The overarching plot has been established with a fair amount of urgency, so stopping for these unrelated one-offs felt incredibly out of place. Thankfully, the second half of the season did much better with this, finding ways to weave the individual episode plots into the overall narrative in a less jarring way.

I do not like how Wesley is characterized in this show. I think having him come back is fun and his role in the story fits well, but writing him as a wisecracking jokester simply does not suit him. Wil Wheaton is also somehow a worse actor now than he was as a teenager, so his performance makes me cringe. He's easily the worst part of the season for me and the one thing I will dread on rewatches.

While the voice cast is largely excellent, I did find Jankom's voice to get grating after a while. Jason Mantzoukas always seems to go straight to 110%, when many scenes call for slightly softer deliveries. It genuinely sounds like he wasn't in the same room as everyone else, and it makes his lines really stand out. Jankom has always been the least interesting of the main cast, but this season made me actively start to dislike him, and it was purely due to the performance.

I was NOT expecting the end to tie directly into the Mars attack, and I'm curious to see where that can go next season. I think that era of the Federation's history is ripe for exploration, and I hope this show will get the chance to do that.

[crystalelemental]

Did you know there's a tier list maker for Unicorn Overlord classes now? Time to have opinions no one else agrees with!

For context: I am ranking this solely based on combat performance that I achieved. There are classes I have seen people rank far above what I do, and whether that's because they understand something I don't, or they had particular setups I didn't piece together and got better results out of it, it doesn't matter. I am rating this on how I experienced the class playing through twice.

The highest I beat was Tactical. I did try Expert, and beat the maps just fine, but I have this known brain problem where anything timed starts to stress me out if it runs too close, and I was constantly running too close. I never lost a map through the 8 or so hours I played it, but I couldn't stand the time pressure and kicked it down to have a more relaxed time of my life. Make of that what you wish.

S-TIER

Breaker. I feel like the surest indication of an S-tier classification is not having to think about it at all. While some will argue for the best possible performance being the indication of tier, I argue the opposite. I don't think many people are going to dig into the game that hard, and thus many aren't going to see the glory of incredibly fine-tuned tactics that let you beat Arena at level 15 with like three guys. Most are playing normally, and encounter stuff that just naturally works, and that, to me, is the surest sign of potency for a class, because there is nothing hidden that makes it good, you feel it right away. That in mind: Breaker is the most mindless win condition in the game, and my personal assertion for best class. Enrage is dirt cheap at 1PP, stacks, includes accuracy for consistent hit rates, counters armors, and has a row-wide attack that can't even be blocked or guarded. Once armor is removed, Assaulting Blow will recharge 1AP for every KO they land, potentially sweeping the entire enemy team, with no more support than "make sure they don't get hit." Anyone with cover and the tactic of "prioritize Highest Phys Atk" will do the job.

Gryphon Master. Gryphon Master is a bit more dynamic than Breaker, but no less devastating. Row-wide damage for 1AP is exceptionally strong, and they don't suffer the Berserker's accuracy penalty either. Add in cav effectivenss, and they're unspeakably strong. Being flying, they can front row dodge tank. Late in the game, they can pivot to Fatal Dive, dealing true damage to foes and denying guard, which can easily annihilate back-row foes and chip bulkier targets enough for follow-ups to finish. Griyphon Master has so much going for it, and very few legitimate flaws. So long as arrows are covered, they excel.

High Lord. Alain is ridiculous. Not because of anything offensive, but because defensively, he is unparalleled. Blocking is a huge deal to me, I like covering for squishier allies, and Alain's access to specific equipment giving him a much easier time hitting 4/4 means he adds a lot of defensive backbone, without suffering poor Mag Def, and contributing some DPS through anti-cavalry tech and row-wide offense. That anti-cav tech also removes AP and PP both, while inflicting Guard Seal, which is exceptionally potent. His potential to disrupt and defense a team cannot be understated.

Featherbow. At time of writing...this is my favorite class. Consider this bias if you must. Featherbow is S on utility. Row-wide Blindness in response to an attack leaves little room for foes to counter. She is not bound by the Rogues need to hit, and is instant enough that removing this status is impossible prior to them attacking. Photon Arrow hits two targets for -50% Phys Def and Passive Seal, which is devastating if aimed correctly given her high initiative, potentially shutting out a healer completely. Even Saint's Shot can be devastating, just removing 1PP from a target, or 2 if they're non-flying. As a flier themselves, they have evade potential on the front row, and can use their own blind effect to deny archers specifically. Featherbow is a metric ton of fun, and can really disrupt entire teams with good play.

Snow Ranger. Snow White Strike. That alone gets this an S. Follow-up attacks are generally good, accounting for typical shaky accuracy, but Yunifi defies that will solid bow accuracy and a devastating Freeze effect. This is an excellent way to keep an opponent locked down, and the damage doubles if someone else freezes for her. Triple Counter can be devastating as well with enough evasion on her; a full power retaliation that hits three opponents is amazing. Yunifi is interesting in that it really is her passives that make her tick, but Glacial Rain can be used on the back line to really hammer an enemy team with full AoE damage and a freeze effect that shuts down everything. The accuracy is shakier, but to my understanding, only one arrow has to hit for freeze to work. Yunifi is fantastic, and I adore using her.

Dark Marquess. I admit, my first run, I did not really respect Berengeria. I get it now, though. On-entry passive that cuts the initiative and attack of all foes is excellent. So long as foes are afflicted, she recharges PP on multiple attacks, including a 1PP follow up move for infinite regain that also heals her. When she's attacked, she boosts Atk/Initiative and gets 1AP back. She has row-wide offense that inflicts Stun. While it requires afflictions to be present, which can be slightly restrictive, she still has strong options even without that condition met. Dark Marquess is just very persistent and incredibly strong, with a powerful opening move, and it's hard to go wrong with her presence.

Elven Augur. The elf girls are very, very strong, but Augur is definitely stronger. Offensively, an on-entry row-wide attack that inflicts stun if it doesn't kill is great. Much like Sibyl, Augur has a good synergy between skills. Primus Edge restores 1PP if at 100% HP, even if it misses. Elemental Impetus will use 2PP to recharge 1AP, making this a good, steady source of recharge. The main draw, however, is Elemental Roar, a 3AP move that hits all foes and gets stronger with more active fairies. Her opening skill is strong by default, but adding a fairy into an AoE burst is outstanding. Very little investment needs to go into Augur for their magic to devastate, and they even pack a little recovery that can specifically heal up a Cleric-type if they get hit with status, keeping your team rolling without a care.

A-TIER

Shieldshooter. Again, I like blocking. Shieldshooters can block while recovering HP to allies. Shieldshooters also have competent offense in Heavy Bolt, making them a good two-skill focus unit. Their follow-up is fairly weak, but can be nice as I believe it cannot be interrupted, finishing off units that get Holy Cradle or otherwise barely survived. As a bow user in the front, she can aim specifically for back row as well, taking out core supports or big threats with hilarious precision. If anything holds Shieldshooter back, I'd say it's that they don't quite excel at what they aim to do. Heavy Bolt is good damage, but she lacks the same kind of hilarious disruption as Alain does against cavalry, or the row-wide offense he can pack, leading to her being more about sniping a particular target in a match and otherwise existing for defense. Still one of my favorites, though.

Swordmaster. One of my favorites. Swordmasters are about precision removal of specific enemies. By default, this is Scout. In some situations, it can be the fliers. With Runic Sword and some backup with Inspiration, it can include Armor, which legitimately feels like their best utility. But Swordmasters rarely carry. Their damage can be good with proper support, but maintaining that is difficult. And without it, their damage drops precipitously. I do compliment their anti-meta properties, like Meteor Strike being the easiest way to just blow through Galerius' Dark Armor, but they have trouble answering as much as they counter. Outside of Runic Sword, which is a one-time item, they have no means of getting around armor or guards. They're evade tanks whose Parry doesn't work on range, so arrows can break them, and truestrike remains a problem. Their PP generation is a bit challenging as well. Two swords means less flexibility on accessories. But for the sheer depth of what they can do for a team, and how well they can be crafted to serve any comp, A feels right.

Wyvern Master. Look, I don't know why I like Gryphon Master better. I think better early tools, but Fire Breath doesn't take long to unlock and is arguably stronger. Column-piercing is really good too, easily slapping someone out of commission on the back row. I think Wyvern Master is fantastic, but for some reason it just never felt like it worked as well as Gryphon Master, despite having comparable tools. Maybe I'm just biased. Maybe I just really liked Fatal Dive. I cannot give a satisfying answer, because they do rule.

Druid. Druid's great. Probably the strongest on-entry skill in the game, coupled with immediate debuffing of a target's offense as they attack. Defense Curse wildly improves damage and prevents Guard entirely, which is exceptional for offensive cores. I think the only reason I don't respect Druid more is that I didn't use Druid more. Their kit is truly excellent, if hard countered by Clerics.

Prince. Buffing alternative to Druid. Seriously, it's the same thing but reversed. Buffs initiative on entry instead of debuffing, buffs attack instead of debuffing defense, grants truestrike instead of inflicting Guard Seal. Prince does fantastic back-row work. I think I value Druid just a little more, solely because I think the entry skill is stronger, and Guard Seal slightly more valuable than a truestrike.

Elven Sibyl. She's a healing version of the Augur, whose on-entry skill is a heal that provides a nullification to one debuff for a row. She also has Primus Edge/Elemental Impetus, allowing for fantastic generation. However. My problem lies in her AP skills. Elemental Roar remains the boom it is on Augur, but her 2AP skill goes entirely to waste using it, and it's a row-wide heal that provides nullification of one attack to a whole row. To put it bluntly, this is insanely good. Evade tanks have a backup that can now prevent certain death, solely because Eltolinde was present to provide it. And yet...this comes at the cost of Elemental Roar. I talked about this positively in other classes, having strong variability, and I think that's Sibyl's strength too. You can use her as either Elemental Roar AoE damage for a wipe, or you can use her as a healer with built-in blocks to damage for an entire row. But you cannot do both. And that's why she's down here in A. Because the S class options? They can do everything they want in one set. Eltolinde cannot. She makes much harder concessions.

Valkyria. I wish I could put this higher, but I do think it's fairly limited at times. Boosting team defenses and guard rate on entry makes the entire team a lot stronger, and 50% guard rate is percentage points, meaning even your frail back row has better than average odds to guard and reduce a lot of damage. This is not what sells her. What sells her is Maiden's Hammer, a Truestrike move that deals better damage the lower her HP, and is a counterattacking move. This is an excellent utility move. Combined with her natural ability to hit Flying with Vertical Edge, she's like a heavily defensive variation on Swordmaster. But. Swordmaster has that magic attack to blast armor apart, being much more offensively competent. Valkyria relies on Brandish, which is expensive and never deals as much as you want. She can eventually break through, but definitely needs support to see it happen.

Dreadnought. I feel like Dreadnought is a boring, overly straight-forward damage class with exactly one interesting tool. Unfortunately for me, that one interesting tool is hilarious and extremely powerful. When a foe guards an attack, Dreadnought kicks them in the face, inflicting Stun and Guard Seal. That is. EXTREMELY good. It turns a lot of offensive focus options from middling and in need of support, to potentially just blowing right through armors. With her self-buff to get truestrike and sure crit, she's able to obliterate pretty much any individual enemy she sets her sights on. And with greatshields, even in the back row, she tends to be excellent on defense. Initiative can be a problem, but just kicking open a guard for allies is a massive boon.

High Priestess. This may seem a bit mean, but I don't consider Scarlett as potent as other unique classes. Her healing leaves a bit to be desired, and while her main attacks remove buffs, the fact they can miss creates issues. It's not like her damage is exceptional either. What keeps Scarlett in A is really just how rare buff removal is, and how nice having a shield to halve incoming damage while denying status can be in good hands. But the later you get, the more allies can find items that make them immune to status anyway, and thus her shield goes largely to waste. This is especially true for evade tanks, who just...move out of the way of the attack, rendering that shield moot. Scarlett has good tools mired by problems that kept haunting me, but I fully acknowledge what she brings.

B-TIER

Bishop. Standard healer. What gets Bishop in my good graces is Refresh being row-wide, and access to some good AP skills from staves, most notably Lyrical Wand. Most of their AP skills are pretty whatever, so the wand skill is free, and recharges AP of a target. I do think Bishop can be a little finicky, though. Specifically targeting what you want and when can be a challenge on the tactics, with their default sets healing every single hit no matter how minor resulting in consumption of 1PP. It's a necessary class, but not an exceptional one.

Featherstaff. Featherstaff has some solid traits, but I feel like initiative is their worst enemy. Unless they get Overheal or Holy Cradle up right away, it's easy for opponents to just slap something and ruin your plan. Holy Cradle in particular feels like shit outside of PvP/Arena contexts. It's 2AP that could go into just keeping you from dying, and very little in main game can threaten to one-shot you. They're overly specific for single matches, which is why I put them below Bishop.

Wereowl. Very fun but very finicky. Wereowl has basically one truly good trait, and that is granting 1PP to an ally after they use one. This combos into some hilarious shit, especially when you look at things like Featherbow's row-wide blind response, or sustaining healing or guarding, or counterattacks, etc. That said, getting that PP where you want it to go and not having them burn through all of it is very, very challenging. I will give credit for having pretty whatever AP skills. I think they're another that really likes the staff effect to be their primary, though Night Vision for huge accuracy buffs is nice.

Feathershield. What if your tank could dodge? Feathershield is fun because they are flying armor, which means they both take hits well and can evade, making them excellent at sticking around. That said...is it just me, or are there like no greatshields that have passive abilities to shield allies? Is no one else bothered by this? It's like the one fatal flaw. If I could get this guy to both reflect spells and jump in on attacks against the healer, I think we'd be set. I do want to specifically complement synergy with Valkyria. Iron Will with his buff to Mag Def for the entire party makes for some outrageously tanky units.

Great Knight. Cavalry Call. That's basically the class in a nutshell. They have a great buff that applies to all cavs, and are able to rush a column both with their base move and with a follow-up. In addition, they pack the usual AP recovering stuff, but with two different forms of attack, including a 2AP multi-hit move. Great Knights have a lot in their favor. I don't really respect them. I feel like a lot of their utility relies entirely on a full cav team that makes them hysterically easy to counterpick. I think they put so much in offense that every comp tends to lack wildly for defense, and their results in a map are either a clean sweep of massive damage, or getting half the team killed. I think without someone to proc boosted initiative or debuff foe's initiative, they tend to move too slowly and eat a lot of damage. They live attached to Selvie. Outside of cav comps, while they have decent tools, their offenses are significantly less pronounced, and I feel like they falter. They're really fun and have one of the more mindless overall setups, but it's such a hit and miss tactic that's so, so easy to counter.

Doom Knight. I don't really favor sacrificing HP for power. I admit they have a good system going, as well as good bulk and potential to recover damage they do take. I recognize their fire-base AoE move is tremendous damage with a lot of benefits. I just can't put them higher than this. Similar deal to the Great Knights, I think they tend to be easily bowled over at times. Tactics matter a lot, and if their conditions aren't in place, they falter wildly. Without a Cleric, or at least some means of active healing, they're very easily KOd. I like them well enough, but not all that much.

Sergeant. Granting Sure-crit can be specifically tailed for Maximum Funny. Granting 1AP to any ally at the cost of 2PP is also really nice. Sergeant doesn't have the best offensive profile, but column-piercing and cav effectiveness isn't bad, and they add some response to fliers as well. They're a decent all-arounder with no particularly outstanding traits, but some really fun concepts to play with.

Elven Archer. Ice Arrow is one of my favorites, I love freeze and they have the initiative to back it up. I've also seen talk of their on-entry skill resulting in Scarlett granting a PP back with some healing, kicking off their party-wide heal and instantly recovering the team to full not matter how battered from the last encounter. It's something! But I feel like Elven Archer often fails to dazzle. Damage isn't great, they don't have the same truestrike as base archers, their on-entry skill is nice but not one of the better options out there, etc. I do like them a lot, though.

Elven Fencer. Similar deal but worse. They rely heavily on evasion, and can sure-dodge, but only when conditions occur that grant the effect. Otherwise, they have sub-par evasion for a frontline tank, and are always hoping to recharge AP on successful dodges. They rely heavily on allies to set conditions for dodging, and are as easily bopped by truestrike as other evade tanks. At least they have really good and fun offense that has a magical edge, allowing them to hurt armor types.

C-TIER

Sainted Knight. This one would get me killed on Reddit. I don't think Sainted Knight is all that good. I think the blocking of magic can be divine, and the combo with Legionnaire is obviously decent. But I think their problem is often passivity, and being too cluttered with AP. Yes, they can deal hilarious magical damage. If they aren't using Row Heal. But then you need someone else dedicated to healing. Which causes its own problems. But keeping healing means they don't do much in the way of attacks, and that magic potential goes to waste. But also there's only two magical swords in the game and Swordmaster is way more proficient about removing armor, while their attacks seem to fail to KO anything with reasonable Mag Def. Even in just general runs, I use Sainted Knight often for mobility and reduction of magical assist attacks used against us, but their teams are extremely hit and miss by effectiveness. I struggle to see a situation in which they feel as good as many claim.

Legionnaire. I like blocking, so here they are. I do think they're highly passive, lacking for damage or healing or literally anything but guard. But it's nice to have someone to just block attacks and take like no damage, you know?

Feathersword. Kinda middling. Yes, ranged attack, decent self-buffing, but their kit is kinda whatever. No particularly great attacks, buffs literally everything but stats you really want like straight Atk, Discharge is their only means of offense but it removes literally every other form of buff. They have a Truestrike but its 2AP, and their lack of sheer crit rate means Gambler's Coin isn't even salvaging them. I have yet to feel like Feathersword truly does all that much.

Landsknecht. What if you were a follow-up class, but your follow-up missed? What if Berengeria were kinda bad? Bastard's Cross is huge damage, but easily guarded and then rendered unimportant. Landsknecht does have good damage potential, and the AP regeneration of Breaker and Great Knight, but it tends to fall way behind on every other metric I care about.

Warlock. On the one hand, row-wide move that can stun, and great follow-up and counter attacks with generalized magic. I do think the shaky 90 accuracy is a problem, as is general initiative woes and frailty. Pure magic classes tend to heavy invest in just their magical offense and everything else is kinda whatever. As a result, Warlock can do some nice stuff, but I rarely consider them exceptional.

Sniper. I barely used them. I kinda dislike them, to be honest. I got one to work in the Virginia/Feathershield team comp I used, but I feel like the biggest issue they have is that damage output feels limited. They're kind of another precision removal tool, in that they can aim wherever they want and are specifically good against fliers, but only okay when it's a wyvern without crits. Taking out back row stuff also relies heavily on what the enemy team's composition is. They can work, but they're not a favorite, for reasons that are slightly difficult to parse. I don't think they're that bad, but I've never had good success with them.

Sorceress. This has to be my most contentious opinion. I think Sorceress kinda blows. Stupid frail, horrendous initiative, magic can get completely hard countered by two class types, getting conferrals to land where you want when you want is an exercise in pure frustration, status conferrals take 2PP and a whole accessory slot which is demanding, and while their freeze is an excellent status, I pretty much never see it because the rest of the team does its job first or the witch dies immediately. They can be good. Devastating, even. But I feel like they're very often a liability. Also now that both are on here: I don't respect Trinity Rain. Way, way too much investment of a team's resources for something that can (1) miss, (2) be blocked, and (3) be entirely shut down by Feathershields and Sainted Knights.

D-TIER

Vanguard. They're just not too useful. I give some credit for Arrow Cover blocking flying attacks as well, and being useful alongside Swordmasters and fliers for the specifics of what it does. But that's about all I can really praise it for. Neat concept, very lacking outcomes. There's a reason they're a 25 Honor promotion.

Werelion/Berserker. They are the same goddamn class and I don't like them. Row wide and then full party AoE damage should be great, but their offense is surprisingly low by raw stats, and all of their attacks are base 80% accuracy. Which is, as it turns out, bad. The only good stat they have is HP, and fun fact: no situation in any game I've ever played has allowed high HP but bad defenses and evasion to work out. Ever. I feel like this could be a way better class if their other stats were a little stronger in some places, but as it stands, very underwhelming.

Werebear. I tried, but never found much interest in them. A greatshield class that can't block anything, and instead specs into attempts at offense that are inaccurate, or completely miss anything not on the ground. Wholly unimpressed.

Viking. Their on-entry skill should be a favorite. There's so much that should be fun with this. I have never, even once, found a situation where I think it's worth it. Other on-entry skills just offer a lot more bang for your buck, and letting everyone bypass guard, while nice, often isn't necessary to taking down armor. There are other approaches. Like magic. Even half-magic like the Elven classes will do a better job than bringing a Viking's low initiative and inaccurate shenanigans. I want to respect them, I really do, but I've never found a significant use.

Werefox. Let the broad opinion being: I do not respect units whose life is evasion. "But you like Swordmaster." For the offense. For its ability to remove, with incredible precision, several different types of opponents as you see fit. Werefox does not do that. It has some offensive utility I'm willing to acknowledge, but I didn't have a great time using them ever.

F-TIER

Werewolf. Werewolf is one I wanted to like. A row-wide 15% Phys Atk buff with no other conditions is fairly unique, and they have means of restoring AP for further moves. Unfortunately...I just never encountered success. This feels unfair, I feel like something could've happened if I just found something I liked. But the one (1) time I made a team with one that actually started to work out? It was the Virginia/Fodoquia team. And it turned out the best results for that team? Was dropping the Werewolf for a Cleric. I dunno man! Results don't lie! Maybe I'm using it wrong, but I've yet to see this class accomplish literally anything.

Rogue. _Lucille_ on Reddit has some excellent takes on classes, and some fantastic strategy. They're the kind of person who can beat Arena before breaking level 20 on the highest difficulty, something I legitimately could never piece together. So when they say that dodge tanks are better than physical tanks, and that Rogue is very good, I'm inclined to believe this is true. Evasion likely is more successful overall if outfitted correctly. But personally? I consider tier based on ease of access as much as anything. If something is stupid broken busted, but only once you've been playing for a while and have a working meta knowledge of tactics and how to specifically counteract all the things that otherwise beat you? That to me isn't success. That requires niche knowledge for success. And on that note: Rogue sucks. Getting it to work is an unending nightmare. So many enemies have Truestrike, and the only means of not dying horribly is knowing AI patters and how to avoid being the target of attacks that threaten, and nothing else. Even outside of this, just letting one (1) attack land the low percentage to hit is instant death, and in general maps, you're encountering so many swings that eventually that 10% will land. It requires a level of precision and calculation that I feel is way beyond what is reasonable as a more casual fan of the game. While their skills feel exciting, I never once found them significant. Row blindness is done infinitely better by Featherbow, and even Druid if you want to use the staff for it. Stealing AP is only ever 1AP despite the translation, and fails entirely if guarded. PP steal can also be guarded against, ruining the attempt. Someone mentioned using them with Viking's War Horn to ensure hits, stealing PP and using that on accessories to buff allies constantly. Great plan! That also cuts into their evade rate because less equipment goes to it, so you get hit more often. Evade stops working the instant archers are introduced, because they just hit you through it. Their bulk is so bad, anything that touches them kills. Their passive skills are bad, with an on-entry that just inflicts Guard/Passive seal on one (1) target, which sucks, but is likely to go first given their high initiative, ruining much better options because only one goes off. I have active contempt for Rogue. I would love to get it to work, just to see what others are seeing, but I feel like their utility ran out before I even finished the demo. I get that no damage is better than chip damage, but you know what's even better than that? Not dying immediately because you failed a roll.

Paladin. I think the basic fact that nothing seems to outline the skills on a Paladin should tell you what you need to know. The class itself is good enough, but Josef is so gimped in the stats department that once you leave Cornia, and start fighting things closer to his level? He's easily overwhelmed on the frontline and contributes very little to a backline. There's no reason to use Josef past the opening. At least the Rogues can be outfitted with something going on, Josef just feels like a burden.

[clawsnoir]

alright, finally found some spare time to write about my favorite girl. let's talk about selina in the batman 2022 & what's driving her attraction to everyone's favorite emotionally repressed asshole vigilante.

under a cut, because this is going to get long - apologies in advance!

selina kyle is incredibly perceptive. this is an innate ability of hers, as well as a learned one. taking people/situations at face value can and will get you killed on the streets, to say nothing of the consequences that kind of naivety can bring when you're delicately navigating the criminal underworld the way that she is.

when she first meets Batman, she knows him by reputation only. he's a vigilante with a taste for vengeance - and while his biggest claim to fame is putting away a serial killer, he spends most of his nights pounding street level thugs into the concrete and throwing them in jail. selina, a street level drug dealer, is definitely aware of this fact and responds appropriately when confronted with him in person for the first time. she's startled, wary, then curious...and lastly, defiant, when he just stands there and continues to stare at her. she doesn't know what his deal is, and when it becomes clear that he's there looking into annika, she's less concerned about figuring it out and more worried about what exactly he's planning to do.

which isn't to say she isn't attracted to him - she's not as obviously affected as he is, but the pull is there.

their first contact in the mayor's mansion reveals quite a bit about him to selina. his unwillingness to hurt her, his surprising protective streak, and his unexpectedly naive assumptions about her motives. he's not the unfeeling monster he's painted himself as - and selina, who knows a thing or two about using disguise and theatre/performance as a means of survival, recognizes his damage as being similar to her own.

let's talk about the performance that is Batman. bruce is Batman is bruce, but he is not yet at a point where he has self-actualized and reconciled the two halves of his identity. this is important, because selina has yet to meet him as bruce; all she knows is the Batman.

the Batman has total control of his environment, he's highly logical and unaffected by emotion, he's powerful and authoritative, a dominating presence that strikes fear wherever he goes. (this is how bruce wants to be seen, and he's been successful thus far) selina is into that! like, I cannot stress how much she is into that, even as she enjoys poking fun at him for his stoicism. but she also can tell that it's a constructed persona, and the glimpses of the man beneath are intriguing to her.

there's also the outfit which, um...it's fetish gear. let's all be honest with ourselves, it's fetish gear. do not @ me with 'tactical this' and 'military that' because it is literally kink. shout out to zoë for confirming that selina thinks his entire getup is dead sexy and is part of why she's into him in the first place. freaky recognizes freaky, is what I'm saying lmao. his big bad bat persona is the perfect complement to her coquettish sex kitten.

so while selina is into the batsuit and the dark avenger thing bruce has going on, she's also curious about and drawn to the man inside of it. he's a dick towards her, no doubt about it, but it's never really /about/ her, it's about his own issues. selina knows this. she cuts him a lot of slack, but she also isn't afraid to stand up to him and cut him off when he oversteps her boundaries.

he's positioned himself as someone who's cleaning up Gotham's filth, looking out for the little guy, punishing evil...yet he's not really doing any of that effectively when they meet due to his tunnel vision methods. when she calls him out on his naive and limited worldview, she's trying to help him, to make him better.

& yes, part of why she falls so quick is due to how lonely she is. her affinity for strays says it all. is she perhaps a little too eager to trust him and throw her lot in with a virtual stranger, one she has never seen the face of? maybe. do bruce and selina have a history of falling in love at first sight and being each other's only exception when it comes to the walls they put up to keep others away? they sure do!

to steal from my fave @cityhalloween, selina wants batman to prove he's the man she thinks he is. a protector. the kind of man who uses his power and influence for good. the complete opposite of the men she's been surrounded by her entire life. is it a little unhealthy that she's more attracted to his potential than anything? a little bit, yeah, but who cares.

selina and bruce are very, very different; but inside they are one and the same. two broken kids playing animal dress up to distract from the pain, single-minded and solitary, coming to life in the dark where they feel free to be themselves. it's all about the recognition of the other, seeing parts of yourself in the beloved and loving them when you can't love yourself.

it's a genuine and pure connection. the relationship itself is um...not quite functional, as they both have a lot of character development to go through before they're fully realized versions of themselves, but the love is real and true.

[lovenona]

I just haad to say thank you for the free serotonin that you have provided me with through the last artist sukuna post

it's just... ✨beautifull✨ we are slowly building up this au

BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM GETTING MORE AND MORE FRUSTRATED WITH THE LACK OF ATTENTION WERE HE'S KIND OF POUTING

and then there need to be a project done in which you have the option to work in groups and NO MATTER WHAT this proud cherry haired idiot WILL work alone but geto won't he came to y/n and they really need to work in a group if they want to get this done so of course y/n is happily gonna agree to the offer of geto to work together they do be viben after all which ultimately leads to the fact that y/n is gonna give sukuna even less attention (it probably doesn't even get on his nerves that much that y/n works with geto its just the lack of attention and ultimately time spending with you that result from it)

ah i am sorry I was rambling again😂

anyways hope you have a nice day and don't stress yourself too much with answering always happy to see you post❤️

babe let me just say ur brain is massive and i thank u from the bottom of my heart – anyway here’s the original post for everyone about to embark on this godforsaken journey with art student sukuna and our new friend pretentious fuck geto suguru 

if you thought you were pitiful at drawing, your sculptural skills are on another level of true and utter shit. you cannot, for the life of you, create things out of clay. you despise carving anything into wood. your pottery faithfully collapses on you whenever you try. you hate working with glass. you would have dropped the class, honest, if you didn’t desperately need it in order to fulfill your major requirements and graduate on time. 

all in all, it’s an awful class created solely to tank your gpa – you don’t understand what you’re doing, you don’t understand what anything is supposed to look like, and you sure as fuck don’t understand how anyone else seems to have their shit together all the time. when you glance around the room, no one, not even the famous ryomen sukuna, has trouble making their materials turn into something recognizable.

(and, in true sukuna fashion, he loves to make sure you know how fucking untalented you are.) 

so when anthropology-and-ceramics king geto suguru asks if you want to be partners for the next big art project, you agree without a second thought. you’ve been talking to him recently, small talk before class, and for all his pretentious faults, you think he’s delightfully hot as fuck with a smooth voice to match. he wears those crisp, expensive button-downs that he bought at overpriced local craft markets. he always smells like cedar and eucalyptus; he brings a different tote bag to every class, his favorite being one he got as a gift for subscribing to the new yorker. he shops organic only and throws around the words “fair trade” and “bourgeoisie” and “means of production” with the ease that sukuna throws around the words “fuck” and “shit.” 

you think geto is fascinating. and maybe he talks down to you when explaining his anthropology knowledge, he absolutely does, but when he gazes at you with those warm eyes and offers to help you learn how to sculpt and raise your grades, you can’t help but agree with a pair of big pathetic doe eyes. 

why wouldn’t you? you’re just here for a good time, after all.

so when you giggle as geto places his sinfully smooth, manicured hands over yours while teaching you how to use the pottery wheel, you don’t think much of it. you think he’s cute and warm. you’d be a fool to notice the dark annoyance radiating from the other corner of the room.

ryomen sukuna always works alone. but what he didn’t count on was that you wouldn’t be working alone with him. 

it’s not that you’re working with geto, he swears. it’s that you’re not working with him. his ears feel strangely empty without your argumentative quips, without the way you tell him he’s infuriating and annoying every time he tells you something lewd just to fluster you. it’s strangely empty without you both arguing about the difference between great artists and sell-outs – were you here, in his corner of the room, maybe sukuna would have tried to tell you michelangelo was a loser just to see what you would say. 

but you’re not with him. you’re listening to geto tell you about the time he went to study abroad in germany and how he took a trip to morocco where he tried some amazing food you’ve never heard of. he’s telling you about the time he helped make tampons in botswana after his senior year of high school and all of the other deliciously precocious things he has done for the sake of human rights and anti-capitalism. 

(you’re killing the environment, you know, geto often admonishes you when you stumble into class with your cup of coffee. that cup is going to end up in a landfill. he always taks a sip from his hydroflask for emphasis. it’s sleek and black with an oxfam sticker on it.

and sure, you know that your cup is going to become trash. geto doesn’t have to be an annoying fuck and tell you when it’s only eleven in the morning and he drove a literal moped to campus. but still, with that silky man-bun, everything he does is okay.) 

but understand that sukuna doesn’t hate geto. sukuna craves attention, and he absolutely cannot stand being ignored. he’ll pout without realizing it, pursing his lips and wondering what kind of circus act he needs to perform to win back your presence. should he get another tattoo? cuss out the professor? offer to fuck you senseless in the third-floor bathroom? he’s not sure – he’s never not been seen before. ryomen sukuna doesn’t know what it’s like to come in second. 

so he intercepts you after class; in a manner that is both sukuna-and-not-sukuna, he’ll casually throw one of his heavy arms over your shoulders, subtly pulling you away from geto’s aura, wrapping you in his scent of earth and leather and sex appeal. “come on, puppy,” he says, sultry and annoying and condescending all wrapped in one, tapping his ring-clad fingers against your arm. “you’re supposed to help me write my paper, aren’t you?” it’s not a question, it’s a demand, one you know deep down that you would rather die than shy away from. 

you might not like sukuna, you tell yourself, but there’s something about him, the way he talks and moves and exists in the world, that makes you unable to shy away. there’s something about him that always makes you want more without you quite knowing why. 

(he kissed you, once. sometimes you wonder if you would like it to happen again.) 

and you’re still nestled under sukuna’s arm, trapped in his orbit and following him to his favorite empty classrooms, when geto calls back to you, wondering if you’re still interested in going to the avant-garde poetry reading with him tomorrow night. 

he’s going to present a poem he wrote on the terrors inflicted on south america by the united states, geto had explained earlier when his hands were on yours. it was going to be some real, hard-hitting poetry, none of that “rupi kaur bullshit.” he thought it might enlighten you to join him, perhaps in more ways than one.

you pretend you don’t notice the way sukuna’s arm tightens around your shoulders when you tell geto with a flirtatious smile that you can’t wait. 

[oumakokichi]

hello! could you talk a bit more about the original (as in jp, not localization) ouma's personality and speech patterns? you've mentioned that he tends to trail off or speak more softly when it is implied he is speaking the truth, etc. and how he is not so loud/intentionally obnoxious. //btw when does he call himself a fairy? that's so cute

I got a couple of questions asking about the fairy line Ouma has, so I don’t mind sort of rolling them both into one! And I’m more than happy to talk a little more in-depth about Ouma’s speech patterns and personality in the original game, too!

Since I’ll be covering some late-game spoilers, I’ll put the bulk of this under the cut, so be careful when reading!

First off, I cannot stress how much I recommed playing ndrv3 with the Japanese voices enabled. If you’ve already played through the English dub but never experiened the original voice acting cast, I promise you won’t be disappointed. The Japanese cast are all fantastic, incredibly talented VAs who, unlike the dub, were hired specifically for these roles and not just re-casted from previous DR games.

Hiro Shimono as Ouma gives an absolutely incredible performance. The localization might still have many flaws in its translation and omission of certain lines or punctuation, but you can still very much get a feel for how Ouma’s character was intended by listening to Shimono’s performance. Re-playing the game with the Japanese voices will definitely let you hear how soft and tonally different Shimono’s performance is in places from the English dub, and compare it to the way in which many lines are written and punctuated as if Ouma’s yelling at everyone.

That isn’t to say that Shimono’s Ouma is never loud or excited: Ouma is a character whose moods and façades are all over the place, and therefore his performance requires a voice actor who can similarly change moods and intonation on a dime. Ouma is very much loud and haughty and deliberately annoying when he’s supposed to be, but his voice is also low and ominous at other points when he’s trying to be scary. And again, it’s soft and hesitant in places where he’s considering divulging some of his information, or when he’s insisting that all the things he does are for everyone’s sake, because he cares about them and doesn’t want anyone to die.

These moments feel so much more genuine in the Japanese version of the game--because they’re meant to be. As fantastic of a liar as Ouma is, it’s much easier for us, the player, to tell when he’s lying on a re-play, knowing the information from chapters 5 and 6 that we do, and looking at cues like his sprites (often his blank-faced ones) and, yes, his delivery of certain lines.

This probably sounds like me just gushing about what a fantastic voice actor Hiro Shimono is, and in part that’s exactly what it is, but I want to stress that pretty much every single voice actor in the Japanese cast is just as fantastic and that they all do their jobs incredibly well. With all that gushing out of the way, I’ll move on to talking about some of Ouma’s actual speech tics and the way he refers to other characters.

Like most things about him, Ouma’s speech patterns are sort of an interesting mix and even seem a little contradictory at times. He uses the very masculine pronoun “ore” (オレ), but he also refers to nearly everyone (with only a handful of exceptions) by their surnames and the much more childish honorific “-chan” (i.e. “Saihara-chan,” “Akamatsu-chan,” “Amami-chan,” etc.)

The use of “-chan” is very interesting. Honorifics in Japan are extremely complicated and tend to mean different things depending on who is using them. Typically, “-chan” is seen as a very feminine way to refer to someone else, commonly used in close-knit friend groups among school girls.

There are, of course, a few notable exceptions to this however: often times, middle-aged or elderly people will call a child “-chan” regardless of gender, as a way of showing they find them cute and endearing. And sometimes, people will use “-chan” to refer to other things they find cute, such as pets, or even to refer to themselves in a sort of informal, tongue-in-cheek way.

The fact that Ouma uses “-chan” as an honorific to refer to nearly everyone in the game stands out quite a lot: by and large, boys don’t use this term to refer to other boys. Using “-chan” to refer to anyone you’ve just met or don’t know very well is already somewhat frowned upon, but a boy using it to refer to other boys is especially rare. This helps set Ouma’s character up as someone who is both incredibly casual and informal with others (not to mention, you know, quite coded). Considering childishness and lightheartedness are traits Ouma values, and how much emphasis is put on him having “a very innocent, childish streak that’s hard to hate,” it makes sense then that he would talk like this.

Not counting Monokuma and the Monokubs, the only characters who Ouma doesn’t refer to with “-chan” are Gonta and Kiibo, who he simply calls by name. This also says some interesting things about his character.

Gonta is easily the character who Ouma interacts with the most often, as well as the charater he hurts the most in the end. Ouma’s choice to exclude Gonta from his usual way of calling people is, I think, a testament to how much Gonta really wanted to be friends with him, even if their friendship was never exactly on equal footing.

Meanwhile with Kiibo, I feel the choice to exclude him from his usual way of addressing others is indicative of how much Ouma tried to remind himself that Kiibo “wasn’t human,” and therefore how suspicious he found his presence in the killing game. We know Ouma suspected Kiibo and likely even had an inkling of his role as the audience proxy/camera in the game, due to how Kiibo’s picture is one of the only others set aside on his whiteboard besides Saihara’s, with the word “weird” written next to it (he also clearly guessed about the cameras after Gonta’s line in chapter 2, as we see from how he commissioned Miu for the bug-vac).

Ouma clearly enjoys teasing Kiibo a lot, and their banter reads very much like a manzai comedy duo; I feel like Ouma often tried pushing himself to remember that Kiibo “wasn’t human” on purpose in order to not get too attached to him or too distracted from his goal of ending the killing game. I don’t think Ouma’s decision to exclude Kiibo from the way that he very particularly referred to most of the rest of the group was just an accident or a coincidence.

Honorifics aside, Ouma also refers to several characters in interesting ways. He often uses “daisuki na ___-chan” (大好きな) to refer to some of the other characters, a phrase which more or less equates to “my beloved.” He uses this phrase with Saihara more than any other character of the game, but there are a few other instances where he does use it with Amami, Momota, and (if I’m remembering correctly) Kaede. Pretty much every single instance where the localization put, “because I love you” or “because you’re my favorite” whenever Ouma was talking to Saihara was usually a point where he would specifically call him “my beloved Saihara-chan.”

In chapter 4 during the scene where Ouma is alone in the parlor of the VR world, he also specifically, exclusively refers to Saihara as “suki ni natta hito” (好きになった人), literally: “the person I fell in love with.” This line was changed in the localization to, “when there’s a person I like,” which is more or less literally correct--however, the phrase “suki ni natta” is much heavier and more loaded with explicitly romantic implications than “suki” would be on its own, as it’s often used in Japanese love songs and shoujo manga love confessions.

Worth noting in my opinion is the fact that this is the exact same phrasing Maki uses to describe her romantic feelings for Momota. Since Maki’s feelings for Momota are considered canonically confirmed because of this, Ouma’s feelings should be considered equally canon, but a lot of people don’t know this because, well, it’s sort of been lost in translation.

And now, on to the fairy line! Ouma calls himself a fairy in chapter 3, when he pops up in the middle of Saihara and Korekiyo’s discussion of the katana in Korekiyo’s lab. Full of enthusiasm, he decides to touch the sword and examine it for himself; Korekiyo starts to object, but Ouma interrupts and says:

“Come on, it’s not a big deal! I’m like a fairy, so it’ll be fine!”

I’ve always really loved this line and thought it was super adorable, both as a nod to how fairies aren’t supposed to be able to touch steel in most fae mythos, as well as the fact that fairies tend to also have a love for mischief and pranks and lies. The localization apparently didn’t like it so much though, because this line is simply changed to, “Come on, would I lie to you?” instead.

One final thing I can think of as far as Ouma’s speech tics go is that his laugh in Japanese is romanized as “nishishi” instead of “neeheehee,” as this is closer to the Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound horses make--but I actually don’t mind this localization change at all! “Neeheehee” definitely looks a lot closer to the word “neigh” and helps capture that horse joke in a way that I feel like western players can more easily understand.

All in all, while I still definitely feel people can like and enjoy Ouma’s character from playing the localization alone, I still stand by my opinion that listening to the original Japanese voices helps give a much better picture of how the character was intended to come across, and really shows how much depth Hiro Shimono put into his performance. He’s quoted in the official ndrv3 artbook as saying that he believes Ouma is someone who’s actually “really meek if you take away his strong wish to outwit everyone” (credit to @kaibutsushidousha for the art book translation), and I think this interpretation of Ouma really shows through in so many of his lines.

Thank you both for the really fun questions! I hope I could provide some more interesting information about Ouma and the translation!

[hyenahunt]

Conquest - Prologue

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt

Hiyori: But the problem is, we're not enemies at all. We're allies, aren't we?

[Location: ES Breakroom]

[One day in late spring...]

Hiyori: "Eden Breaks Up?! The decisive battle fans have all been waiting for: Adam VS Eve —"

—Or so says this ridiculous performance plan I just received over HoldHands.

I'd greatly appreciate a detailed explanation of just what is going on. Depending on your answer, chances are I won't let you off.

Nagisa: ...Wow, Hiyori-kun, your expression is frightening.

Ibara: Aye-aye! Allow me to offer you an explanation. After all, it is my job to see to it that this incomprehensible world is dissected, cooked up and arranged for serving.

That being said, however, this appetising proposal came from the higher-ups themselves, and as such I myself am not too clear on how it came to be.

All the same, I do have some grasp of the overall outline.

Nagisa: ...I had no idea about this. While I did receive it on HoldHands, I leave all administrative matters to Ibara.

Hiyori: Nagisa-kun, you're pretty much the leader of both Eden and Adam, aren't you?

I do feel it would be for the best if you managed such things yourself, but well, everyone has their individual strengths and weaknesses, I suppose?

Nagisa: ...Yes. I'd rather not concern myself with the everyday world. It's troublesome.

...And having Ibara look over it results in a more accurate understanding. He's the right person for this.

Ibara: Ahahaha! Receiving such praise and trust from you is truly an honour, Your Excellency!

Nagisa: ...I simply state the truth. By the way, Jun, did you know about this proposal?

Jun: Ugh, please don't drag me into this, Nagi-senpai. Ohii-san's been in such a crazy awful mood all morning and I wanna have nothing to do with it, y'know~?

In situations like these, I'm the one who usually ends up as his stress outlet, after all —

But whatever, I guess. What'd that proposal say again...?

It sounds like something only the unit leaders receive, so there's no way an underling like myself would know anything about it, yeah~?

Nagisa: ...Ahh, it does seem like that's how it works.

...It's set up so that all messages I receive are immediately forwarded to Ibara, so it doesn't concern me, though.

Hiyori: Nagisa-kun, are you alright with that?

If you leave every little thing to Ibara like that — or grow dependent on him, I should say—then aren't you going to have trouble living on if he randomly drops dead one day?

Ibara: Worry not! I won't be dying any time soon — I cannot allow myself to die when we've gotten this far already!

Hiyori: Well, even if Ibara does kick the bucket, I can look after Nagisa-kun like how I used to so everything will be just fine.

Ibara: Indeed, should such a situation ever arise, I will leave him in Your Highness' capable hands.

...Anyway, to return to the topic at hand, I do believe the current proposal isn't completely devoid of points worth considering.

Hiyori: ... In what way, may I ask?

Jun: (Woah. Ohii-san's face is seeeriously scary as hell right now. He's usually all silly laughs and smiles, so when he's got a serious face on you know shit's gonna go down.)

(This time he seems kinda actually really upset about things, huh?)

Ibara: Right. Firstly, it is essential to note that this proposal is by the restructured top brass of CosPro, after the majority of its executives were fired due to the scandal at the end of last year.

They're all most eager to repair their damaged reputations — money is no object in their quest to prove their innocence and competence.

So in short, they intend to create something of great extravagance with this proposal. They'll pull out all the stops, no matter what it takes.

And since this comes right on the heels of the scandal, even the higher-ups will be careful not to attempt anything dubious behind the scenes — so everything should be safe.

Nagisa: ...Well, true fools tend to repeat the same mistakes over and over, though.

Ibara: All the same, it's common knowledge that after the last scandal, we as Eden collectively denounced and drove out the top brass.

Taking that into account, the fact that they've put out a proposal means that they're prepared to face such a situation once more.

This is a proposal of great importance—one that puts their lives on the line, if you will.

At the same time, if we were to reject this proposal, which is composed of the desperate desires of these higher-ups, they'll simply shrink away and believe anything they do or say will be pointless.

I'd greatly prefer to have some clumsy fools bumbling about their jobs rather than frightened figureheads cowering in a corner.

To be frozen in place is no different from being dead, after all. And corpses certainly can't be mobilised for war.

Simultaneously, always saying anything and everything is out of the question will never allow for growth in us humans.

...Well, such overprotective and motherly behavior seems to be a favorite of His Highness Hiyori.

Hiyori: ...In what sense? I certainly feel as though you're mocking me right now, you know?

Ibara: Of course not, I would never do such a thing... It is but a misunderstanding.

But in any case, for the sake of the top brass gaining experience, and to grant them that sense of self-confidence and achievement, I would dearly like for us to accept their proposal.

Nagisa: ...It's actually an interesting proposal, too.

...A confrontation between Adam and Eve... I've never considered such a thing before.

Jun: Well, it kinda feels like something guys would be pretty into. It's almost like pro-wrestling.

Seeing who'd win if Adam and Eve faced off... that might really catch our fans' interest, actually~

Hiyori: Ngh... A lion is still the king of beasts even if he doesn't go around proclaiming it, right?

Ibara: Certainly. That being said, a performance is essential in allowing the masses to actually understand this, as they are rather slow on the uptake.

And it is for that purpose that we now have this current plan: "Conquest".

For us of Eden, who were regrettably only the runner-ups for the idol world's greatest festival, Winter Live, at the end of last year...

Perhaps it's a rather ambitious event, to try and realise that domination that once slipped through our grasp —

That world domination, thwarted by Trickstar, or rather obstructed by traitors within our own camp.

Now is the time to see it through — that, I feel, is the current sentiment borne by the higher-ups of CosPro.

Conquer all, and we shall seize the world within our hands.

Hiyori: Well, in all honesty, I do have faint regrets that we weren't able to conquer the nation at the end of last year.

But we'd still be able to make the world ours just by doing things as we always have. Why make a show out of something so unsightly as an internal quarrel—

Ibara: That's not the case. ES has now been established, and in this new era of oligarchy between the four agencies, it'll prove difficult to stand out if we simply go about our days without aim.

If we are to use a single showpiece to launch ourselves to the top, then it is essential for it to be explosive in nature.

In that sense, I believe Conquest is the ideal plan for it. Since the earliest times, people have always been drawn to showdowns of destiny, after all.

Such as Holmes and Moriarty, Godzilla and King Ghidora, Goku and Vegeta... Would you understand those examples, Your Highness?

Jun: Oh, I totally get you.

Ibara: Good. Let's see... it would be something akin to the War of the Roses — does that make sense?

Hiyori: Mm... I can't deny that a showdown between age-old enemies would be exciting, of course.

But the problem is, we're not enemies at all. We're allies, aren't we?

No... I consider Eden a family, but am I the only one who feels that way?

Nagisa: ......

✦✦✦✦✦

��� all ✦ next →

[min-arya]

Change of Mind

Pairing: jimin x reader

Genre: Fluff

Note: this was my very first work last November 2020. I tried to give it an ending but, I genuinely cannot think of a good ending for this story. it sucks but whatever. pls send me your ideas aaa i would love to read them. thank you for supporting me!! i adore y'all! :) <3

You hate children.

Everyone who knows you knows that. They really can’t convince you to pick up their baby, or coo at them. They didn’t even try to hide the disappointment in their eyes when they saw you roll your eyes when their children copy you. They keep pestering you about how you hate children when one day you’re going to have one. The thought made you smirk, as if. It’s easy to say that you won’t have one because you don’t have time as a single busy woman. And also, they’re pretty loud and dumb. They’re always so dependent; can’t do things on their own.

“I think you’re being too hard,” your brother, Namjoon, said. He was a married man for 4 years now. You can see the dark bags in his eyes as he looked at you in concern. You rolled your eyes as you already know where this is going. “They’re just kids,” he added.

“We’ve had this conversation for a long time, can’t we drop it already?” you said a little loud out of frustration. Namjoon shushed you, scared to wake up his cranky daughter. By the way, you were at their house because it was your pregnant sister-in-law’s birthday. They invited you this morning, and you decided to drop by for a little greetings and told her that your gift will be a little late, which she didn’t mind. “ughh! It’s getting late. I’m going home.” You said irritatedly.

“Okay, so you see, I have a very important meeting tomorrow,” he began. You know something was off, and you’re not going to like it because of the way he slowly and carefully stated his words. You don’t want to hear it, honestly. But you didn’t and can’t cut him off because first, it’s disrespectful; after all, he is the oldest, and second is that, he beat you to it. “I need you to attend the family day in Miyoung’s school.”

You were bewildered, maybe beyond that but, you were. He knows that you hate children, why would he do that? Is it because you’re the only one who is free on Fridays? That’s not even an acceptable excuse. You hated children! You expressed countless times of how irritating they are, how can your niece be any different? Is it because he raised her? You looked away for a second, not knowing what to say. You brought your gaze up, about to protest until you caught a glimpse of his tired pleading eyes, you had no choice but to comply. “Fine, but you owe me 50 dollars,” you agreed with a groan.

Namjoon smiled weakly, knowing his pregnant wife doesn’t have to stress herself up for this school activity and get all the rest she needs. “I’ll double it if Miyoung comes home with a smile.” He said, playing along with his sister’s antics. “By the way, it starts at 8:00am. Don’t be late.”

“Fine,” was all you said standing up to reach your bag. “I’ll be here tomorrow, 7:00am sharp. Thank you for the meal, Oppa. I’ll be going now.” You stated, from you professional voice to a surprisingly calm voice after the news of babysitting your niece.

Tomorrow is going to be a long, long day.

You finished your morning routine with a groan and a pep talk. This is only for today. This is only going to last a few hours. After that you’ll have the peace away from children. After that pep talk, you left your garage to go to your brother’s house to fetch your niece. You internally wished she’s not as annoying as any other kids her age.

You arrived 15 minutes later. Seeing how your niece is crying in front of a kneeling Namjoon made you realize that she hates this idea, too. She’s scared of you, that’s for sure. But, what can you do? Imagine your babysitter hates children. Damn.

“Why can’t you go instead, Daddy? She hates me, I know it!” your niece said as she started to sob louder, not stopping any sooner no matter how much your brother is trying to convince him.

“She doesn’t hate you, baby. She’s just jealous because she’s old and lonely.” He said as if he didn't know you'd already arrived. You scoffed loudly at that. It was almost funny. You…jealous of a kid? Pleaaaaase. “It’s only for today, Miyoungie. I promise I’ll make it up to you. We’ll get ice cream after this event is finished.” He ended, knowing his daughter is a weakling for ice cream.

“Fine.” She stubbornly said. Angrily stomping to the shotgun seat of your car.

Namjoon walked towards you with a paper bag in his hands. “Here’s her costume, by the way. I think the event ends at 3pm. It’s only 7:15, have you had your breakfast?” he rambled. Even though he was annoying most of the time in your childhood, he was, no doubt, caring.

“I’m fine. Has she had her breakfast or do I need to drive her to McDonald’s?” you smirked victoriously, proud at your comeback sass. It didn’t last long though after Namjoon playfully smacked your head with the word pabo leaving his mouth. “Anyway, we’ll be going now. Don’t worry, she’ll be safe.

Namjoon handed you the paper bag filled with clothes and lunch box for two before walking towards his daughter, kneeling to her height and hugging her. He whispered something to her tiny ear before she nodded. He wiped her tears away. He opened the door to the passenger’s seat of your car, making sure he fastened the seatbelt as he closed the door gently, not wanting to startle his daughter.

You went to the driver’s side to finally start the car. You badly want to end this day. You glanced at your niece who was sulking beside you. I mean, who could blame her tho? This was so unplanned. She already informed her dad about this last week. And now, he’s telling her that he won’t be able to attend so he needed you as a substitute guardian. Isn’t that a little heartbreaking? But, anyway, your niece just wants to get close to you.

“Are you ready to go, kiddo?” you asked in a surprisingly calm manner. You saw how she nodded cutely. So you reached for the clutch and got ready to go.

The silence between you was pleasant, it surprised you. Everything about today surprised you.

You feel the stares Miyoung was giving you. They weren’t out of hatred or adoration. It was out of curiosity. Maybe something about you fascinated the toddler’s tiny mind. ‘What did Daddy mean when he said that she is lonely? Is she sad? Is that really why she hates me? Is she going to eat me?’

“What is it?” you asked, growing frustrated by the curious glares she gave you. She looked away, and shrugged.

“Daddy said to not cause you any trouble. If I do, you’re going to eat me. Is that true, Aunty?” she said with a slightly shaky voice. So that’s how he raises his kids huh. “Please don’t eat me, Aunty.” She faced her body towards you with her hands clasped together, practically begging.

It was cute, no doubt. Is that what Namjoon whispered to this baby? You laughed at the thought. For the first time in, like, your whole life, a child has made you laugh. Your niece’s eyes widened at your laugh. The tiny toddler is overthinking too much for her tiny mind to handle. She now thinks you’re really going to eat the sweet sweet child.

“What?! AHAHA. NO! Of course not. Why would I eat you? I don’t eat children, that’s gross.” You said between your laughs. Feeling the atmosphere between you lighten up. This day was going better than you thought it would be.

Maybe kids aren’t so bad after all.

After a few hours of meeting (more like seminar or something) with the parents and this really charming teacher, accompanying Miyoung to eat her sandwich and her meal but she offered you her sandwich because you don’t have anything to eat even though you have money but she insisted so you accepted, and phone calls from your work, it is time for the little performance the toddlers from this said kindergarten prepared for their ‘parents’. So that’s the costume for, now I get it. You thought as Miyoung came up to you and handed you the video camera that you didn’t know that she had. Maybe Namjoon packed it since he couldn’t go.

The performance was good, entertaining even. You felt like a proud mama cheering for her baby while holding the camera. It surprises you on how you reacted, you seemed really fond of the child, and you were though.

After the performance was done, the crowd dispersed into sections, making the columns and rows you all formed a while ago a mess. Miyoung rushed into you and held your hand. And suddenly, your phone rang. You let go of your niece’s hand to reach for the phone in your right pocket.

It was no surprise that it’s your boss. “It’s me, Sir Kim. What seems to be the problem?” you said. What could be the problem? Mr. Kim always bothered you, like he was really annoying. And now, you’ve filed your one-week leave and yet, he’s still bothering you and bombarding you with work. Man, he’s the worst.

“Nothing, I was just saying you got the promotion. Have fun on your leave.” With that, he hung up. Maybe he’s not so bad after all, pfft. That was amazing news, so amazing that you decided to take Miyoung to an ice cream parlor yourself and treat her with her favorite ice cream that you had no idea of.

You were happy, so happy that when you put it back to your pocket and reached for your niece’s hand, she wasn’t there.

Oh no. I’m doomed. Namjoon’s going to kill me. You thought as you started formulating a plan on searching for Miyoung. Internally panicking. What to do? You scanned the whole area to see if someone found Miyoung. Unfortunately, the messy crowd started to disperse slowly.

The pounding of your chest, beads of sweat start forming on your forehead as you spin around trying to look for a familiar small girl with a yellow humongous ribbon on her head. You were out of luck. Stupid phone call. Stupid promotion. Stupid boss. Stupid life!

You approached a middle-aged woman who looked like a principal in this kindergarten, thinking it would help you search for your niece. But then, an unknown number called you. Anxiety filled your stomach, a slight ringing in the background was heard, then silence.

Oh no, is Miyoung kidnapped? Are they going to ask me for ransom? Why is this happening? You thought as your shaky hands answered the phone.

“Hello? Hello, Miss?” a sweet honey-voiced man talked through the phone. He didn’t sound like a mysterious criminal, did he?

“Hello? Who is this?” you cringed at how shaky your voice was, you should’ve sounded tough not like some scared girl.

“Oh, where are my manners! I’m Park Jimin, Miss. Kim Miyoung’s teacher. I found your business card on the child’s ID. Don’t worry she’s in good hands but, be sure to pick her up though. We’re at the teacher’s faculty. I’ll hang up now.” He started, sounding so sure and professional.

You have finally arrived at your destination, the teacher’s faculty. You see Miyoung, sitting on a chair with a chocolate in her hand, eating happily while she swings her feet.

A man approached you, just as you reached to Miyoung. The man smiled down at you. “You must be Y/N. Miyoung’s this way.” With that, he led you to the faculty room that your niece was staying on.

“Aunty!” she shouted as she jumped off the chair, ran to you and hugged you as if you were the one who got lost. “Jiminie told me that he’ll buy me ice cream if I behave until you arrive.” She said, giggling. “Now that you’ve arrived, I can finally have my ice cream!”

“Jiminie?” you asked, curiously. “I thought he was your teacher?” you added.

“Yeah, but he’s daddy’s best friend so it’s fine.” Huh, that explains it. “Come on, Jiminie. You still have to get me ice cream.” She said as she skidded away from you and closer to the teacher who happened to be your brother’s best friend.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him to you, almost stumbling at how much height difference they have. “Woah, easy Miyoung.” The teacher said between his laughs. He genuinely seemed to be enjoying kids his whole life. Heck, why would he even be a teacher if he doesn’t?

You didn’t think you could handle being in the same room with someone the total opposite of you yet, here you are. Everything about this day seemed to surprise you. “Wait, are you even done with your work? We don’t want to cause you any trouble.” You said. Well, that came out wrong. It sounded like you didn’t want to be with him. Wait, no…not really. It's nice having him around, maybe cudd—NO Y/N, you just met hi—

“Y/N? Y/N, right? I was just telling you that my shift was done half an hour ago.” He said, interrupting your internal rumbling. You looked away from the scene of trees swaying with the wind to glance at the handsome guy looking at you in concern. “Uhm, shall we take your car or mine?” he asked, fidgeting the keys latched to the belt loop of his pants.

“Uhm, I’m not sure. Huh, I guess I haven’t thought about that. Miyoung?” you looked away from the stunning man to look at your side thinking that your niece might be by your side. But sadly, she was long gone to her teacher’s side, trying to pull his weight away from the direction of your car.

“Let’s go to Jiminie’s car! His car smells like vanilla and strawberries!! C’mon c’mon!” She squealed to you while pulling on her teacher.

You shrugged. So much for an ice cream, you thought as you followed the two.

The whole ride was surprisingly pleasing. Miyoung was right, his car smells good. Strawberries and vanilla.

You glanced to your left, looking at his hand at the clutch lever. By the way, you were on the passenger’s seat since Miyoung insisted that she needed space. You became silent, staring at your niece. What did she mean when she said she needed space? Is she trying to sell you out? You thought as you continued to watch her looking around, trying to find something. And then, she pulled a blanket from the back of the car. She happily hugged it before spreading it to cover her tiny body. She sat up again, reaching for a certain purple pillow.

To say that you were confused was an understatement. You reached for the door handle of the passenger’s seat before boarding. You finally noticed that Jimin was watching the whole scene. He explained that he was the one who Namjoon asked to drive her daughter. And that today was different since he had to assist and entertain parents so he wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on Miyoung. You nodded in understanding.

“We’re here,” you snapped out of your daze when you heard his sweet honey voice rang throughout the car. You turned your body to look at your niece, you noticed that she’s still in her mini dreamland. You unbuckle your seatbelt before going around the car to wake Miyoung up. You opened the car that was facing the top of her head, noticing the slow but calm pace of her breathing while she sleeps. Just as you lifted your hand to shake her shoulder awake, a hand grabbed your wrist. “She gets cranky if you shake her awake. Let me do it,” he said before letting you go slowly.

You step aside to give him a way to Miyoung’s head. You tilted your head to the side to watch what he was doing. He was stroking her head gently as he whispers into her ear. It freaking worked. She sat up while rubbing her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her off his car. She looked at you before waving her hands enthusiastically before yelling, “Hi Aunty.” You waved back before walking to Jimin’s side.

You leaned towards him to give him a compliment, “You’re really good with children.” He looked down at you before facing forward, smiling adorably. He mumbled a small ‘thank you’ as he led the way.

You finally reached to Miyoung’s favorite ice cream park in front of a park. The place was spacious yet, simple. Groomed trees around it, benches and a playground. It’s the perfect destination to couples, and couples with children. That’s probably why this is Miyoung’s favorite place.

Jimin sets Miyoung down as he goes to the counter to place an order. You saw how Miyoung immediately ran towards the playground, communicating with some kids her age. You turned your head towards Jimin who was looking at you, “Yes? Is there something wrong?” you asked him.

“Uhm what flavor do you want? My treat,” he said, pulling out his wallet. you held out your hand, about to tell him that he didn’t need to buy you an ice cream, He was persistent as he said, “don’t worry, it’s on me.”

“Cookies n’ cream,” you mumbled while looking down. He nodded then faced the cashier attendant. You unknowingly pouted when you noticed they were close to each other, whispering something between themselves. You saw him moved away, shaking his head as if he was denying something. You turned away towards the playground, just to forget the scene and also, to keep an eye on Miyoung. She seemed to be enjoying her life as a kid. Lucky.

Jimin shyly cleared his throat, snapping you out of your daze. You noticed he was holding two cones. He handed you the cookies n’ cream flavor, before turning back to get Miyoung’s favorite ice cream. “Thank you, though you didn’t have to,” you said, as you gave him a genuine smile.

“Nah, I wanted to,” he said as he giggled slightly. You two walked side by side towards the playground. You sat on a bench while munching on your ice cream. He called your niece to give her her ice cream. She ran towards him immediately before going back to the playground. Jimin sat beside you as he started to devour his ice cream. “So, Namjoon-hyung’s sister?” he started, facing you.

You snorted lightly at how awkward he sounded when the question left his mouth. He looked at you, amused. “Yeah, and you’re his best friend?” you said with just right amount of sass while you raised your eyebrow at him. “How come I’ve never heard of you before?” you asked with genuine curiosity as you faced the scene before you.

“Hmm, probably Namjoon-hyung forgot again. You know how he forgets stuff like that.” he said facing the same directions you’re looking at. It’s hard not to notice how the air around you is claiming, and the getting-to-know conversation the two of you are having feels like two best friends catching up with each other. It was nice. “I heard that you hated children. Why is that?” he suddenly asked, catching you off guard.

You shrugged. You were about to answer but a detail on his sentence stopped you. “Hated? What do you mean? I still hate them.” you said, calmly. You inhaled before talking, contemplating what to say. “Well, I just don’t like how high-maintenance they are. They always demand attention and can’t do things on their own. But, I can stand children; just don’t let them copy me. I hate how they do things I do.” You finished your rant with a sigh. You turned your head to Jimin who nodded in understanding, he looked amused. Fuck, I sound like a child.

He let out a short laugh as he leaned towards you. “Same, but I find it adorable though,” He said, trying to ease himself. “To answer your first question, you seem too fond of Miyoung, so I assumed that you have changed your mind,” he ended before proceeding to continue his ice cream.

“what? I mean, she’s a great kid...she doesn’t annoy the hell out of me,” you replied with a shrug. “Well, what about you? What’s something about children that fascinates you that you chose to be a teacher other than every other career that you can have?” you questioned him. You were grateful that he didn’t hate you for hating something he finds adorable.

Jimin looked towards the playground, thinking deeply for a wonderful example. “I love how innocent they are. They don’t have to worry about anything. All they want and need to do is to be happy and enjoy their childhood. And, I want to be a part of that wonderful memory.” He said as his eyes glowed in adoration of the kids playing with your niece. Laughter was heard as you two talked. “And then, there’s just the hint of pride whenever they achieve something. Even the tiniest victories, they’re so happy,” he added. He was shaking his fist adorably as if trying to contain his excitement.

“I think you’re going to be a great dad in the future,” you complimented, giving him a sweet smile.

“Thanks, I think you’re going to be a great mom too. Someday, he said.

An unfamiliar warmth swells up to your chest as you took in his words. “Yeah. Someday.”

[pipes-loves-writing]

things I actually said at 3:00 am while watching hsmtmts s2 ep11 (spoilers)

mr mazzara doing recap yayy

aww nini giving out cards

umm?? Everyone looks so good?

caswen (Ricky and Ashlyn FRIENDSHIP) is my new favorite forgotten friendship of the show

I already posted this but the matching casts are so cute

breaking your hand isn’t the worst injury you could get? Why would they need understudies?

I said it once and I’ll say it again everyone looks SO GOOD

Kourtney being howie’s biggest fan is just so :))

THEY ARENT GOING TO THE CAST PARTY

I LOVE THEM

EJ’S LITTLE “I mean..” IS SO UERBRJRHDBRH

‘someone I dig a lot :))))))’

TELL ME HE WASNT THE HUMAN FORM OF THE SMILEY EMOJI

‘what do you wear on a *date*’ awww g

seb talking for carlos is so cute im glad seb can read him so well :)

seb’s single clap kills me everytime

ASH WITH FLOWERS TO BIG RED IS SO CUTE AND IS SUCH A CUTE CALL TO HSM

howie looks excited aww

Ej’s last show :(

TIM IF YOU DONT KEEP MATT CORNETT I SWEAR-

mr mazarra’s little “Jennifer” was very…I’m not entirely sure what it was. Calming? If that makes sense

OH NO

MIKE WHY ARE YOU HERE

she’s so awkward ahh

so is he i hate them

aww Lily looks cute

I feel like the ‘lol’ that Lily says is her trying to protect herself in case Ricky rejects her :(

‘LILY SCRAM’ NATALIE THATS SO MEAN

her little wink-

MR MAZARRA BEING THE NARRATOR IS SO WEIRD WHY DIDNT THEY CAST A STUDENT

aww steph being the enchantress

‘everyone gets to say that at least once’ I’m not sure I like Nini acting like she’s had multiple parts with names? Like I don’t think she has. Only Marian and Gabriella

mr mazarra’s British accent is funny to me and I’m not sure

also I’m not sure I like this cardboard rose it kinda looks tacky to me

HOWIE IN THE AUDIENCE PLEASE

‘SHE HEARD WRONG’ PLEASE-

‘she just hog tied him’ SEB’S LOOK

spotlighting the judge is so weird don’t do that

I don’t like miss jenn calling him Sebastian all the time

Carlos looks terrified poor baby

be our guest is good so far

ASHLYN PIROUETTES AT THE END IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THOSE

SHES SO GOOD

also I can’t be the only one who notices that ej is holding Babette’s (gina’s) feather dusters during be our guest aww

howie looks concerned oh no

Natalie’s little speech before intermissions so funny

Gina and EJ’s little interaction ‘stop ittt say it again’ and then EJ’s little ‘yeah :)’ is so cute

JORDAN FISHER

‘It feels like I’ve aged ten years since I got this part’ same Ricky same

aww Ricky standing up for Lily

‘PLEASE EVERYONE REMAIN IN THE SAME ROLE YOU STARTED IN’-

wait I don’t like this

Why is howie acting so weird? Like is he starstruck or lying I cannot tell.

“Enjoy your air” “I will thanks” that’s so awkward bye

‘I’m a lucky girl’

aww Gina’s little smile before something there is so cute

Also Ricky looks like he actually enjoy performing now I love him

big red looks so happy to watch ash perform awww

LICKY? TO SHIP OR NOT TO SHIP THAT IS THE QUESTION

unrelated but I LOVE ash’s green dress so much I actually kinda want to make it

also ginas little feather dusting the air in something there is cute she’s such a good Babette

GINA LOOKING AT EJ THE WHOLE TIME CUTE BUT why isn’t she singing

WHAT IS THE CALL MR MAZARRA GOT

that was seb’s whole part and i hate that

aww ej getting starstruck not because jamie’s a music producer but because he’s gina’s brother

WAIT I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE EJ GETTING BROTHER APPROVAL BUT ITS JAMIE REJECTING HIM FOR GINA I HATE IT HERE

EJ DONT LISTEN TO JAMIE GINA LIKES YOU

I feel so bad for Natalie I’m sure she thinks it her fault that she lost it or forgot to place it but it’s not your fault Natalie it’s okay props is so stressful

MISS JENN

WHAT THE HECK

THAT WAS SO AWFUL AND UNCALLED FOR

how could you say that to a student who has gone through so much oh my gosh

also I can’t believe they said that on a Disney show

also Ashlyn’s little ‘I do believe you’ to Natalie is so nice she’s my new favorite character just cause of this ep

Richard?

give us more Natalie screen time next ep and season

what the-

OH

HECK

NO

LILY I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

LILY I THOUGHT WE COULD ACTUALLY TRUST YOU

I DONT SWEAR BUT IF I DID I WOULD SWEAR RIGHT NOW

okay that’s it

if the next episode is shorter that 35 minutes I’m never watching the show again

jk I love you hsmtmts

[chainofclovers]

This Way Up season 2 thoughts and feelings

We finished watching the second season of This Way Up last night (watched it in two sittings over Friday and Saturday) and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would though the season did feel uneven at times. The story also made me feel incredibly, incredibly sad, and my brain is so cluttered with thoughts that I'm not sure I'll be able to actually make sense of the show if I don't just go on and share my impressions, as scattered, self-indulgent, and based on the limited memory of a single viewing as they are.

Where was I when I was watching this season of television?

Physically, I was on the couch with my wife, repeatedly remembering and forgetting that the Olympics were happening. And so, interspersed with this deep dive into the mental health and personal and professional challenges of London-based Irish sisters Áine and Shona, I experienced some archery, skateboarding (those bros honestly seem tooooo cool to even want to come to something as embarrassingly earnest as the Olympics, but good for them!), and men's gymnastics.

Mentally, I was contemplating some significant professional (and, yes, personal in their way) life events that are neither here nor there for tumblr dot com. I was also considering the season two premiere of Ted Lasso and my fannish relationship to that show. For it is true--the person I was while watching season 1 of This Way Up is not the same person who watched season 2 this weekend, because in the meantime a 45-year old white man from Kansas (and every person he knows) managed to become my primary media preoccupation, and I am surprisingly chill about how not chill I am about this anxiety-ridden ray of sunshine/football coach (both footballs). But as we all know, being chill does not mean feeling chill. That make sense?

Anyway. This Way Up. It's about to become a mess of spoilers and feelings in here, so venture behind the cut if you dare!

For Obvious Queer Reasons I was extremely curious to find out what happens between Shona and Charlotte and Shona and Vish. As such, while it was uncomfortable to watch, I think my favorite scene in the whole season is when Shona and Vish have video chat sex and Shona has this intrusive memory of sleeping with Charlotte that feels like the ONLY moment in the entire season that she isn't performing or editing herself in some way.

My other favorite moment is when Charlotte talks about how upsetting it is to feel like a "lesson learned" chapter in Shona's autobiography.

I cannot believe I'm about to type these words, but I think the writing on this show might actually put too much trust in viewers to pick up on things. I know, this never happens! This is my dream! Why am I typing this? But hear me out. I think there are a lot of interesting parallels in terms of whether Shona and Vish (established, engaged, committed) and Áine and Richard (new, taboo [but is it really that crazy that she ends up dating the dad of someone she tutors?], exploratory) are truly able to listen to each other and accept each other's needs. It's about honesty or lack thereof, and it's also about what's really happening inside someone's mind. It's such an incredible moment when Richard tells Áine he likes that she's always so "up" and she has this private moment where you can see this heartbreak in her eyes because of course we know that she really struggles with her mental health and with depression. And I like that the show has both Bradley and Charlotte in the position of being on the overlapping outside of those relationships, offering their own wisdom from a place of really, really caring about Áine and Shona. But I just wanted MORE of that. This episodes are so short, and I needed there to be more of a tight story about those parallels, more of a sense that we'd hurtle towards some kind of revelation by episode 6.

I realize this is a thing about UK shows, but these seasons are just too short. The episodes are like 24 minutes long and there are only six of them and I felt that while you could create an effective season of TV with those constraints, this season jumped between scenes too frequently. I wanted to live in the scenes for longer. I didn't want to feel like I was watching the editing and decisions about what to show happen before my eyes.

If season 3 happens, my second biggest dream is that Bradley and Áine can have a conversation following up from the observation that it would be nice to be with someone they're just comfortable with (spoken while they're slumped on the couch together having one of the warmest conversations two characters share all season). My biggest dream is that Shona and Charlotte can have a respectful conversation about how Shona defines her sexuality. I want Shona to be safe explaining if she'd want to use the term bisexual or queer or pan or even lesbian or some combination of those terms. Not because the labels are the most useful thing, but because in this case it would be incredibly useful for her to force herself to choose some words, not in the context of feeling Vish-related pressure. To be brave enough to describe herself, and to be safe enough to know that Charlotte isn't going to make some snide comment about men. It's totally fair that Charlotte is so hurt, but she needs to be able to listen, too.

I do think this season does an incredible job capturing Shona's intense ambivalence about herself, and how she is SCRAMBLING to deflect from that by focusing on her sister, work, family, wedding-planning, the hen do, basically anything but dealing with her own little brain and heart. I mean, when COVID starts to arrive in their lives, it feels like she really wants Vish's asthmatic uncle to be the golden ticket they need to call off the wedding.

I have mixed feelings about how frequently Áine references the feeling of being an actor or the feeling of experiencing things as someone might in a movie or show or the feeling that someone else is treating her as an actor or character rather than as a real person. I think it's an interesting thing to write about, but upon first watch I struggled to figure out if it was a commentary on the other parts of the story or an additional thread Aisling Bea wanted to weave into an already incredibly short season of TV.

It was very jarring to have a COVID plot. The only mainstream media I've seen so far with a COVID plot is--LOL (to quote Áine, who says LOL so many times this season)--the final scene of the Saved By the Bell remake. Again I say LOL!!! I didn't hate it or love it, necessarily, I just thought it felt strange because we're still in the pandemic and everything is strange.

Everything with Tom was so, so, so painful. I don't know if I can even get into it. I just felt visceral devastation and was hurtled into strong memories about people in my own life who died prematurely. (Suicide but not only suicide.) The way the last scene ended felt like--immediate tears just pulled from my eyes without me even realizing what was happening. And God, the way Tom-in-the-flashback calls her a "soppy cunt" (I think?) and we realize Áine used those exact words to jokingly refer to Richard's previous girlfriend who was a human rights lawyer? GOD.

While Áine and Shona don't really engage with each other in the same way my sister and I do, my sister and I are also really, really close and I'm the older sister and watching this show always gives me a lot of emotions about siblings. This is actually part of why the rapid scene cuts and feeling that they both were leaving so much unarticulated stressed me out. Áine nails it at the end when Shona has finally told her about Charlotte and she says Shona needs to tell her more, but I wanted to SEE that conversation happen. I wanted to FEEL Áine's reaction, because Áine's reaction matters more than Vish's or their mother's or anyone else's. It was frustrating!

I dunno, y'all. I really love this show. I think it is exactly what it wants to be. I could not tell you today if I will ever rewatch it even though I (think I) still consider it a favorite. I honor and respect the fundamental messiness and pain and hilarity of this show. What a wild experience.

[masqueradeball]

How about number 3? Like, tell us all about it if you want :)

Oh my gosh 🥺 thank you so much for giving me my first ask! 💖 I'm eternally grateful I get to spill all my pheels out.

3. What is my favorite Phantom tv/film adaptation?

My absolute favorite Phantom is the 1925 Lon Chaney silent film. He just embodies everything that I like about Gaston Leroux's Erik for me and he is both horrifying and pitiable. I dislike the ending but I can live with it given it's what test audiences wanted at the time. I truly love his Red Death costume. You can find it on Youtube and the Tubi app for free.

My first runner up would be Claude Raines in the 1943 because his Erique so soft and tragic in that film I cannot help but love him. This was one was my grandma's favorite 'classic monster' movies that she loved, so I have a special place in my heart for this one. I love his hair and appreciate that he was one fine silver fox before the revenge and jealousy issues set in. The opera parts are a little boring, but the costumes and the sassy diva rival to Christine are worth the watch. We get 2 handsome Raouls who end up going to dinner together at the end of the movie and a Christine who gets to bask in the limelight of her career while not choosing any suitor, which is the best possible outcome for her. Double play for the win in my book! You can watch it for free on the Peacock app.

My next runner up is a 3 way tie between Robert Englund, Gerard Butler, and Charles Dance.

I honestly enjoy all their performances because they each bring something unique to the role.

I cannot stress enough how violent the Robert Englund version is if you want to give it a go, but Erik Destler is insane, twisted, and fabulously murdertastic in this. I love the creepy, evil vibes the man gives off. Think of this film as a time travel AU of the original novel. I feel like he nailed Leroux Erik's darker, snarky personality that some people tend to forget he had and the gothic horror parts of the original novel are there. Bonus: they keep the Faust parallels like in the novel!

I'm gonna say it: I love the Charles Dance miniseries. I know it's not the best, but damn, he is so dry and sarcastic I cannot help but enjoy his performance. I want to pinch his cheeks and smother Cherik with the love his father never gave him everytime I see him. Again, this one focuses on the operas a lot, and for me it's a bit boring. But the backgrounds, settings, and props in this thing are fantastic and the costumes are wonderful too.

That leaves Gerard Butler in the 2004 movie. No he is not the world's greatest singing Phantom, but I don't care. I absolutely love his facial expressions and body language. The Phantom is an emotional, expressive dude and the Red Death costume scene is pretty good. I love how kind and sincere Emmy feels in this film and I appreciate she's not overracting and doesn't feel fake compared to some other Christines *coughSierracough* Being the film version of the ALW musical, this Phantom story focuses on the romance and Gerard excels at that. When he and Christine are singing Past the Point of no Return, I FEEL THEIR PASSION! And that's what counts more so than hitting the same notes we've all heard a million times before.

Now for the versions in the 'I will eternally like this' category 😊 :

The Phantom of the Paradise from 1974. This is also a very violent and dark film so fair warning if you haven't seen it. It's a bizarre rock musical, but if you're weird like me and enjoy Rock & Rule or the Rocky Horror Picture Show, this might be a film you'd like too. I don't want to spoil it too much but the Faust/devil parallels are here too, as is various pop culture references. His teeth and mask are terrifyingly cool, and so is the electronic voice box he uses. It makes sense Daft Punk was inspired by this film. Maybe G1 Soundwave was inspired by this film too, but that's a debate for another day 😉

Next is the animated 1988 film. This one features animation on par with other 80s tv cartoons of the time. I love that they kept the Persian and the torture chamber from the novel. The Phantom's death scene is pretty damn epic. Christine is kind of a flake, but animated Leroux Erik is hilariously insane and terribly charming, especially when he calls himself a Don Juan. It's worth watching just for his antics and his dialouge.

You might not expect a Goosebumps episode to do a Phantom story any justice, but here we are: 1995, The Phantom of the Auditorium is a spooky fun take on the story and honestly, I'd like to see the full play the kids at that school are putting on cause it looks better than some of the live Phantom stage scenes I've seen. Both young boys playing the Phantom are fantastic actors and the plot twist at the end is great.

I absolutely have to give a shout out to Wishbone's Pantin at the Opera. He is the best, cutest, most adorable Raoul de Chagney ever and I will fight you if you dare talk smack about this version. I'm not even a Raoul stan by any means but like, this dog is precious and I enjoy this episode so much.

Also in the animated category and cute dog category is Scooby Doo Stage Fright made back in 2013. This movie is one of my fave Scooby Doo films (yes I own almost all of them on dvd) and there are multiple Phantoms, a reality tv show contest, and Fred and Daphne finally kiss each other! Lots and lots of hidden Phantom references in the background and lots of voice acting talent for those of us who appreciate that.

Now for the versions I intensely dislike 😏

The 1962 Herbert Lom version. UGH where to start. The sets are so small and everything looks dirty and of the wrong time period. The color in the film looks washed out. The clothes look too modern somehow (maybe it's their hairstyles?) and it bothers me. It feels low budget in a bad way and it shows. This phantom is not likeable or pitiable even though his backstory is similar to the Claude Raines version. He has no romantic interest in Christine, so it feels off. This guy is such an old a$$ piece of sh*t, he literally slaps Christine as she's singing for him for no damn reason. His paper mache mask looks like a Kindergartener's botched art class project. His personality is like somebody locked up cranky grandpa in the basement and he's PMS-ing because y'all forgot to give him his daily prune juice. This squatter's lair lacks creepiness, and his bizarre sidekick is annoying and yet somehow more interesting than the Phantom. The pervert manager trying to bang Christine aggravated me and simultaneously made me want to vomit. Raoul is the only likeable character in the whole damn movie. The Joan of Arc opera scene makes up for some of the film, but it's still terrible.

Next on my meh list is the 1983 made for tv movie starring Micheal York and Jane Seymour. Now, this one has some likeable and applaudable scenes: the various murders and general creepiness of the Phantom, and the lair scene when she wakes up in his bed and the Phantom gets all up in her face is so intense and so Leroux I absolutely love it. The rest of the film is a jumbled hot mess at best, but Jane Seymour is 🔥 and she gets some damn good sex, so hell yeah to that!

And lastly, I do not like the Royal Albert Hall 25th anniversary recording. I should preface this by saying it is Sierra I don't like. I like Ramin, I love Hadley, everyone else is wonderful but I cannot stand Sierra. She tries too hard to make Christine a Disney Princess- and that doesn't fly with me. It comes off as insincere or mocking the source material at best, and at worst it makes Christine look like an airheaded ditz. Apparently Sierra played Ariel at one point which is hilarious because of all the Disney princesses, I dislike her the most. But that's a different rant for another day.

And finally, the one I hate most of all:

The 1998 Argento film. This is the worst Phantom adaptation I've ever seen. It is a whole lotta nope for me. Between the rats, the unecessary and pointless telepathy, the r*pe scene, and the unfunny weird vibe from the murder going on in this film it's a disaster from start to finish. Honestly, it's the rats and his hair that bother me from a visual standpoint alone and it's beyond disgusting the way this a$$🤡 treats Christine. I don't like any of the characters in here and for good reason. It's not worth watching and if you do, be ready to bleach your brain afterwards.

💖 Sorry if this was a long read! Thanks again for giving me an ask and I will cherish it forver!!!! 💖

[jackedspicer]

C.B.H.!

new chowder oc dropped. Youre gonna hate this guy so much

first of all, corned beef hash is a character that my siblings @collectiveazaelas​ & @castingcomets​ and i have collaborated on making. from the bottom of our hearts, we hope you hate him as much as we do

at first glance, corned beef hash serves as a narrative foil to ms rhubarb. his initial conception centered loosely around antagonizing her, but his personality quickly grew beyond that. he is a beast unto himself and others. his only goal is to be self serving and (intentionally) get in the way of others in his life, primarily the other OCs kumquat and pimento, but also canon characters as well. he does this not out of spite or dislike for others, but rather it’s just because he can, and it is often times the fastest route to his goal. he is the freudian id, if the id had a sense of self control and awareness (though he does occasionally blip out on the latter). 

cbh's age isnt exactly clear. he exists in the comically broad adult world that most of marzipan city seems to: anywhere from 25-2500; whos to say? he graduated valedictorian from law school. around this time, he terrorized his dormmate (and future "friend"), pimento (a ram-like man with a few loose screws), to the point of dropping out and going into the culinary field, as "a kitchen during rush hour is still less stressful than sharing a living space with cbh." cbh is at times a petty thief, and at times a criminal mastermind - it depends on his current "schemes" and what is funny at the time. he knows the law to the letter and sometimes uses it to his advantage. though others sometimes think he is a temperamental idiot, most actions are done through thought-out choice and by utilizing his own strengths.

He has a stand in the farmer’s market at which he sells an assortment of mysterious wares and occasionally baked goods that are Evil & Wrong. The quality of his stock ranges anywhere between genuine artifacts to actual garbage from the dumpster, which he will then try to “spruce up” and sell as something more. He’s a hustler no doubt, and he earns his supply through meticulous dumpster-diving, talking down prices at thrift stores, and general vaguely-illegal tomfoolery. At times, he’ll get his hands on elusive items, and how he accomplishes this is seldom explained (he once was arrested and jailed for 12 days because he “accidentally” was selling illegal dognip). He frequently enlists in Kumquat’s help in his various endeavors and typically has her do the dirty work. For example, one of their foraging techniques involves his hooking her onto a fishing line and casting her out to sea; it’s usually just junk, but sometimes she’s clutching a few shiny souvenirs when reeled back in.

He does move the physical location of his stand around a lot, both to “drain fresh pockets” and to avoid growing too known and hated in one area. That being said, he’s been at this for a while, so every vendor at the farmer’s market knows him and is all too familiar with his cycling. The clientele are just unfamiliar enough to fall for his beguilement, though, save for a few skeevy regulars who seek him out for his stuff.

yes he was valedictorian. yes he was a frat boy all throughout college. yes he does beer kegs by pouring the beer directly into his head. yes hes a criminal mastermind. No its not a big deal

being a “bottlehead” (as he calls himself), he doesnt know what sex is (why would he need to?) but he doesnt know that he doesnt know. he loves the culture of it and he’ll hit on anyone. he doesn’t get vocab, but he’s raunchy without hesitation (see quotes section)

he has his eyes on the front of his skull because hes a pursuit predator

his tragic flaw is that he has no flaws. likewise, his lack of complexity is what makes him complex. He has no insecurities. This guy is a black hole. He is everything, but most importantly, he is Nothing.

It’s typical for him to throw around callous, vulgar, and at times offensive references. Case in point: his favorite nicknames for kumquat are Cumsquat and Cumsquirt. Likewise, his nicknames for pimento are Pissmentos, Bimento, Bitchmento, etc.

whenever he does something to boast about, he pounds his chest, turns around, flashes the back of his jacket, and chants C.B.H.! the way a frat boy chants his college's name

he's largely inspired by the way chris fleming characterizes the massachusettsian frat boy. in our minds, he also shares a voice with him.

he feels no shame and he does not hide himself. He may be a bullheaded, grandiose individual, but that doesnt mean he'll withhold his words of affirmation. he'll say something and really mean it - he gives and withholds performances for no one, as he only serves himself.

He devotes no time to introspection. it’s debatable that he might not even know how, but it would be time squandered as there’s not much to introspect On.

it’s a mistake to misinterpret kumquat as his little buddy whom he feels affection for; in his mind, they’re on the same team is all. hes gotta protect his own. It’s as if they’re in the same frathouse. that being said, hes not a good team player. he gets along with kumquat and at times pimento because they’re both socially passive, and the same goes for any relationship he’s ever had. Working with someone of his caliber would guarantee the butting of heads and stalemates on stalemates. A disaster

he’s heavily inspired by 3OH!3

his other inspirations include grunkle stan, brucie kibbutz, and caesar from big top burger, in equal parts

his species is potion

his mother is a lava lamp, his father is a science flask, and he has several siblings, with one of which being a bong named Oregano.

Cannot stand being called Corn

QUOTES

“C.B.H.!”

“You wanna go? You wanna start some BEEF with the HASH?!”

“By the power vested in me by the state of marzipan city i now pronounce you FUCKED PWNED”

“I’LL SUCK YOUR MOM’S DICK, BRO, DO NOT FUCK WITH ME!”

You want to know if his potion liquid is adhesive so you ask him if he has a meniscus and he thinks that youre asking him smth dirty so he says “hey hey i’m on my day job right now. Come by after 8 and ask me then, see what happens”

“If it’s not broke, we don’t sell it!” (motto)

“You wanna throw rocks at this glass house?”

 “Oh i’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t know it was politically incorrect to have my TITS OUT”

“Broskis can you keep it down, im trying to get my wicked sleep gnar gnar on”

“I’M GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM GONNA COME UNCORKED. IM SERIOUSLY GONNA COME UNCORKED”

“Bro, i can’t deal with you trying to kiss me & shit. I’m not gay. Like, yeah, i’ll fuck a dude, marry a dude, but i seriously can’t be seen smooching someone with horns that big, you dig?”

“MY MOM DOESN’T LIKE YOU, STOP PRETENDING SHE DOES!”

“Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, i’m looking at the fucker right now.”

“Whose bottle do i gotta brush to [XYZ] around here?”

his uncieknuckies-type shitpost blog: @corndbeefhash​

and finally, his difficult person ranking:

[escapewithbts]

Breakdown - Seokjin

———————————————————————

You heard the front door open and close from your spot on the couch. You muted the tv and waited for your boyfriend to appear in your shared living room. As soon as he turned the corner you smiled, but it quickly faded when you saw the look on his face. He looked burnt out, and sad, and he didn’t even acknowledge your presence. This was the fourth night in a row he had come home like this.

“Hi my Jinnie-ah,” you said to him, “How was your day?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his dark brown hair, placing his keys on the entry table.

“It was fine,” he mumbled, still not meeting your gaze.

“I made kimchi stew, your favorite,” you told him, “There’s some leftovers waiting for you to heat up if you want.”

He nodded then sauntered into the kitchen. You followed behind him.

You took a seat on one of the stools at the island and watched him open the refrigerator. He placed the stew container on the counter across from you and took off its lid.

“This looks really delicious, thank you Jagi,” he said to you softly.

“Of course, my love.”

Jin placed the leftovers in the microwave and started it before coming back over to the island and leaning down to place his head in his hands. You frowned.

“You know I don’t want to pry Seokjinnie, and you can talk to me when you’re ready, or not, but please know I am always here for you.”

He sighed and rubbed his tired looking eyes with his palms. Then he looked down at his hands and fiddled with his fingers.

He whispered something so quietly you barely heard.

You cocked your head.

“What was that?”

He stood up straight and took a deep breath.

“I want to quit Bangtan.”

Your felt your heart fall into your stomach, and you couldn’t help your eyes getting wide.

“Oh Jin-ah...Don’t say things you don’t mean..”

He shook his head and finally looked up at you, a darkness in his chocolate brown eyes.

“I’m serious, (y/n).”

Your heart started pounding.

“But... why?” You squeaked out.

You loved Jin more than anything in the world, and you knew how important not only his job was to him, but also his fellow members who were basically his brothers. Knowing he hurt so much to want to leave and hearing him even say those words broke your heart.

Jin’s fist clenched and he squeezed his eyes shut.

“Because I’m just... not important. They don’t need me. I don’t add anything. I barely have any verses in the new songs we’re working on. Since Dynamite and BE, everything is going to Jungkook-ah and Jimin-ssi and Taehyung. I feel like I don’t matter. Maybe they think I can’t add anything anymore.”

When he opened his eyes they were filled with tears, a couple running down his cheeks.

“Oh Jin...”

You got up and ran to him, wrapping your arms around his thin yet muscular torso and pulling his head down to rest on your shoulder. You stroked the hair on the back of his head gently with your fingers.

“Of course you matter, my love. Of course you do. Those boys love you so much. You’re their oldest hyung, their mentor, their source of joy. And you’re so talented. You have worked so hard on your vocals and have improved so much. You sound beautiful, Jin, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your girlfriend. You add a softness and lightness to your songs that no one else can.”

He shook his head against your shoulder.

“I’ve just been in such a funk lately. I haven’t felt like myself. I feel like I’m disappointing everyone. The fans, the staff, the members. If I can’t be my normal, goofy, lovable Jin then who am I to them?”

You lifted his head off your shoulder and cupped his face with your hands, staring into his now wet and puffy eyes. You wiped more falling tears from his cheeks with the soft sleeve of your sweater.

“You are so much more than that though. So what if you’re not feeling like being silly? It’s okay. Being your ‘normal self’ is just being true to you. If you’re not feeling happy, then don’t be. It’s okay to be in a funk, Jinnie. You’re human. It’s been a weird past year for everyone; you’re definitely not alone. It’s okay to feel stressed or scared or angry. And it’s okay to show it,” you smiled at him and ran your hand through the bangs covering his eyes, “You cannot hide from your emotions, you must face them and challenge them and get through them. I know it’s hard because everyone expects you to be a certain way, but those who matter won’t mind, like your members. They know your worth. You just need to know it, too.”

Jin nodded in understanding.

“How did you get so wise?” he asked, a small smile appearing on his plump red lips.

You smiled back at him and shrugged.

“Years of experience.”

He wrapped his long arms around you and buried his face in your neck.

“How do I know it will get better?” he questioned softly, “What if I’m truly not happy being in BTS?”

You sighed.

“Only time will tell that, Jinnie-ah. If I’m being honest, I feel like performing in front of an audience is more of an outlet and stress reliever for you than you think it is. Do you think so, too?”

He nodded in agreement and lifted his head up.

“Yes. It also reassures me that ARMY is still there for us. It is so difficult now with only being able to read over the internet. It’s hard to filter out the bad. I hope soon we can all be together again.”

You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“And you will feel better when that time comes. I’m sure of it.”

He stared deep into your eyes, searching for reassurance.

“And you’ll be there for me through it all? No matter what happens?”

You grinned up at him widely, stepping on your tiptoes and wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

“I will be here for you through anything and everything, Kim Seokjin. Because I love you.”

His face relaxed for the first time in days. He blinked at you slowly before placing his forehead on yours.

“And I love you, (y/f/n) (y/l/n).”

*

Masterlist