#i cannot stress enough just how much this commission will help me in a whole lot of ways

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey The Neon Void readers, quick update from the author's sister!

(art commission by @kaysdenofchaos)

Hi readers of The Neon Void fanfic. This is the author’s older sister. She’s been getting a lot of fan art and asks lately. She’s sent me screenshots of a few unanswered ones looking for advice on how to respond.

While all the love and support of TNV is genuinely appreciated, my sister @sugarpasteltmnt is not equipped to respond to a small handful of these asks/comments that are, quite frankly, inappropriate.

Sugarpastels is not a therapist, and she’s certainly not an internet stranger’s therapist.

She’s an adult with an extremely demanding and stressful job for a very large client. Some of you have already experienced and enjoyed her work IRL without knowing it. Her company is close to finishing another project that will bring a lot of joy to hundreds of thousands of people every year, but working on a project of that scale is extremely stressful.

She is writing this fanfic for fun. TNV is a way for her to decompress and put her creative energy towards something other than work.

What’s not fun is coming home to asks/comments from readers who are projecting their own struggles/mental health onto TNV, and even Sugarpastels herself, and demanding some sort of attention from her over it.

Let’s be real: it’s fun to watch our blorbos suffer! So much of fandom is just us putting our favorite characters in Situations because it’s fun. Simple as that. But I think another reason TNV has resonated so strongly with readers is because of the way Sugarpastels writes the internal struggles of these characters.

We are both aware that TNV deals with mental health topics. Since the early days of “modern” fandom, fanfiction has been a way for people to explore complicated, difficult and sometimes even taboo subjects. There’s no shortage of complex feelings being explored in TNV, which is why we’re all having so much fun reading it.

But that’s all it is; an exploration. Sugarpastels is not a mental health expert. I’ve read a handful of books on PTSD and mindfulness for research while writing my own fanfic, and I would never consider myself prepared to help someone else.

It’s okay if you relate to things from TNV. I know I do! Again, fanfic has always been a way to read about things rarely dealt with (or handled poorly) in published fiction/tv shows/movies. I will always argue one of the greatest things about fanfiction and other fanworks is being able to see ourselves and our own struggles through our favorite fictional characters.

But Sugarpastels is not a fictional character. She’s a real person. Most importantly (to me at least) she’s my little sister, and this big sister cannot handle watching some of her readers expect more of her than is appropriate.

So I’m asking you to please be mindful of what you ask/say to not just her, but literally everyone on the internet. Unless you’re chatting with someone regularly, they do not know you. Whether it’s friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc, there are people in your life who know you personally, and are therefore better equipped to help you than a stranger on the internet.

Sugarpastels is so full of empathy that it’s hard to not feel for you when you send things like this. But it just isn’t fair to put that kind of unnecessary pressure on someone who is, at the end of the day, just trying to have some fun writing about ninja turtles bein’ sad.

(That being said, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED TO SEND HER ASKS AND FAN ART!!! They make her day every single time and are seriously so, so appreciated. She’s texting me about it constantly how much she loves all of TNV’s readers. This whole post is really directed at an extremely small percentage of her readers, but there have been enough I felt something needed to be said.)

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: CALL ME ICARUS

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟷𝟿𝚝𝚑 || 𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚙 𝙽𝚊𝙽𝚘

y'all i am so busy rn that i forgot to keep yous updated on my progress. moving forward i am going to try and be more present here, i am going to work my way through my backlog of tag games this weekend and queue up all the writing yous tagged me in.

this month is camp nano and it has kept my mighty busy. here is a list of things that has happened this month:

finished the prologue and chapters 1-10. i got them up for betas to read (if you'd like to beta for CMI, the form is still open to apply here)

got in contact with an artist and started the process of commissioning them for a cover (they just sent me the concept sketch and im!!!!!)

set an official publication date (announcement coming soon 👀👀👀)

submitted a query! (and realized that i don't want to trad pub so i'm self pubbing instead!)

started talking to formatting editors. i'm not sure if i'll be able to afford a good formatting review before publication, but i am in talks with someone who will let me use their Vellum!

started research on how to self pub/what company i want to go through (and actually set up a channel where i can dump my research once i compile it!)

cried a lot over this whole process. a lot.

so yeah! a lot has happened! a lot of good stuff, but a lot of stressful stuff as well! that's okay though, i'm just over the moon that i have an official pub date 🥰

i'm going to push through to the end of camp nano, but i am going to try and get back into weekly wupdates and just talking about writing a lot more. i was a little hesitant about joining camp nano given how bad regular nano went for me last year, but a new server i joined has really helped me find my love of writing again (thank you doom and clanky and so many others that i met through the bird app, i love you all)

anyways, enough rambling. let's get to what you guys are really here for: snippets! i am going to add a couple here (read, a snippet for each chapter i've missed updating here) to make up for my relative silence as of late:

Chapter 5:

There are two more encounters listed below it, but before Icarus can read them over he is distracted by a flash of gold entering the shop. His eyes shoot up, latching to the new patron standing in line with their back to him. It’s normal for bright colors and movement to grab his attention, but this time something feels different. He can’t put his thumb on it, but his brain is telling him that he should recognize them. It’s screaming that he should know who they are. But for the life of him, he cannot make out who it is. Whomst? The fuck? From this distance, he can’t see anything that might tell him who they are. Their plain black clothes could be the tell of an Elysian, but that isn’t a guarantee. The only truly identifiable trait is the halo of blond curls cascading over their shoulders. Why do I feel like I know them?

Chapter 6:

Ariadne whistles, a long and appreciative sound as she sees her husband’s work. The tattoo had been a beast to heal, but the hours of torturous pain and restless nights of endless itching had been well worth it. He spent days ogling the tattoo after it had first healed, the feathers look so real that you can almost feel them when running your hands over the inked skin. It is everything he wanted and then some. A feather-light touch runs down the etched skin. There is only one person who had ever touched him with that kind of reverence, his artist must have gotten up to inspect the tattoo. He is admiring his art—as he should—when he says, “Looks like you should have used more lotion.” He lets go of one edge of the hoodie to flip him the bird. It’s impossible to hide anything from his artist, of course, and he knew that his lackluster care would be noted. There are likely small splotches where the ink had fallen out due to his poor moisturizing regiment, but it’s not like he has much of a choice in that. Icarus drops the back of his hoodie with a sigh as he turns to face the artist again. YOU KNOW? HARD REACH AREA ALONE. His eyebrows raise as he speaks, his signs becoming large and boisterous. He then mimes trying to reach the middle of his back. That gets a chortle out of his artist and Ariadne. He hadn’t thought to consider how he would need to reach every part of his back before getting the tattoo, and the fact that he doesn’t have anyone in his life to help him makes it that much worse.

Chapter 7:

“Look,” Andromeda levels at him, voice growing in intensity as they say, “I understand that you don’t quite trust me yet. I mean, we just met yesterday. Hell, I don’t even know your name yet! But-” “Icarus.” He grabs the hoodie on the left and pulls it over his head. He takes a moment to pull his hair up and fasten it in a ponytail before turning and leaning back against the closet door. “My name is Icarus.” “Okay. Icarus. Y’know, that fits.” Their voice is calmer, quieter, as if that piece of information is enough to placate them. Icarus huffs. The name really does fit him, doesn’t it? Always jumping into things without thinking of the consequences, taking risks, and keeping shit close to his chest until he gets a bit too close to hubris and starts to fall apart. Falling in love with the sun personified. Burning, falling, crashing, drowning. Yeah, the name fits him. The only difference between him and the Icarus of myth is that he died at the end of his story. Icarus has no plans of dying. No, he plans of making it out the other end of his story and living to tell the tale.

Chapter 8:

“I thought the whole ‘Oh, Hestia has a pizza shop?’ ordeal would tell you that I have no idea where to go.” Huh, yeah, that should have clicked with him. It’s not like they could search up directions, they likely don’t have a phone just the same as him. Can’t risk having a way for someone to use GPS to locate him. It’s not like he has anyone to keep in contact with, anyways. “It’s just down the street. Go out the front of the building and head down West Saint Clair, it’s just past fourth street. I’d say can’t miss it but you very much could, there’s no sign out front. It’s the only building that looks like there’s someone living in it on that block, though.” “Got it. West Saint Clair, Fourth Street, not-abandoned building.” Andromeda repeats the directions to themself as they head towards the front door. “Anything else while I’m out?”

Chapter 9:

How could he forget? “Καιρὸς δε, Thanatos,” he mumbles as he stretches his arms out in front of him and rests his forehead on the blissfully cool counter. “And here I was thinking you weren’t gonna remember me.” Long gone is the shrill and timid voice of a sickly kid, replaced by one of the most soothing and deep tones Icarus had ever heard. “…Fair ‘nuff.” The vibrations of a glass hitting the counter top make Icarus look up. A glass of water, just water. He groans, that is not what he wants right now. He’s craving the sweet buzz of an energy drink, but that will require him to get up and walk around the island to grab one. Andromeda chuckles, not moving an inch as they watch Icarus suffer over the glass. “Quit pouting and drink.” He drops his head, turning his face away from the glass. “Oh come on, you big baby. Deja de hacer un berrinche y bebe.” They poke his cheek as he pouts. “Mira, food’s ready. Sit up and eat.”

Chapter 10:

“Why are we running?” they ask, gasping for air after the impromptu sprint. Icarus points to the bird as it hops along the ridge of the tent. He turns to watch their reaction, this is a big deal. Their eyes widen and their jaw drops open, they are just as shocked as he is. His smile has not left, though it dulls as their face drops to sadness and grim acceptance. What? “A crow.” Before he can say anything the look is gone. They beam a bright smile at him. “I can’t believe you found a bird! That’s definitely good luck for us.” But it’s not, their reaction sits wrong with him. He squints his eyes, watches them to see if that glimpse of despair will surface again. When it doesn’t, Icarus forces a smile on his face. If they don’t want to talk about it then he isn’t going to talk about it.

Okay, i think that's enough of a writing dump for now. here's the CMI Taglist:

@flowerprose @isherwoodj @cream-and-tea @touchingmadness @lockejhaven @marinesocks @wildswrites @the-finch-address @writingpotato07-deactivated2023 @leighvalentin @inkspellangel @cljordan-imperium @outpost51 @alleahgrinnon @smol-feralgremlin

Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!

[izzym-art]

It’s that time again!

I am accepting commissions! This time, I have a different system.

I will be doing a batch + waitlist style. One batch consists of four slots. The slots for all batches will be filled by first come, first serve basis, and a priority for emails with complete commission details. So no reserving your slots while you think about what to get or compiling the details. 

Once all 4 slots in a batch have been filled, I will fill the next four slots in the 2nd batch, and so on. I will work these batches by tackling one batch at a time. I will charge a batch at once, work on all 4 slots, and after I’m finished with the 4th slot in that batch, I will move onto the 2nd batch and charging them then. If a particular slot or the ‘last’ slot is not filled, I will still work on the batch as per usual, meaning I won’t wait for it to be filled to start charging and work on them, if they’re not filled by the time I reach that particular batch, so do not worry. I really hope this makes sense! If not, please feel free to shoot me a message :)

Another thing, for this commission style, there’s no immediate time limit. So again, don’t worry about not getting the first 4 slots because as I’ve stated, it’s a mix of waitlist style, so I’ll accept your commission as long as it meets my terms as stated under the cut. Also, I will definitely have some delay in answering your emails due to my day job and sometimes I KO-ed after work *shrugs* so if I don’t reply, please do not worry, and allow me some time. I will never ignore your emails. I will reply to them once I’m able to. :)

Now that that’s out of the way, details for the commissions will be under the cut!

Before we get started, a few things worth noting:

Commissions will generally take days or weeks, especially if your turn is very much later, and now that I have a day job. If you are IMPATIENT or you can’t wait or think commissions will be done in just hours, it’s not. So if you are any of the above, please think twice before placing a commission.

All payments will be done through PAYPAL and I only accept USD.

Please collect all the references you plan on using.

I’ll ask for FRONT VIEW, ¾ VIEW, SIDE VIEW & BACK VIEW of your characters/OCs, HEAD SHOT and FULL-BODIED are very much preferred.

If you want a specific fashion/clothing/hairstyle for your character(s), have them ready as well.

Specify if you want me to have full control of the art. If not, please provide reference and details as much as you can.

Please understand that I have the RIGHT TO REFUSE a commission that I am not comfortable to do, even if I didn’t state it in the terms below.

One last thing; this commission will generally take quite a bit of time. I have a day job, sometimes my weekend is taken, sometimes I crash after work. I will admit that work has already taken 70% of my energy on the daily, and now I’m also trying to work out and that’s another 10% of my time taken. Your commission will take a bit longer. I’m sorry, but that’s inevitable. However, you will get your piece, that I shall never compromise. Just at a longer time. If you still want to commission me, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. <3

What I do best:

Solavellan

I can draw for other fandoms as well, just provide me references.

I will gladly accept drawing your OC’s as well! Again, provide references.

I can draw NSFW art, but nothing explicit. I prefer sensual and tasteful 😉

Minimal background, starry background.

What I will NOT draw:

Smut and/or explicit sexual content. Nipples, dicks, vaginas and buttholes are not allowed. Butt cheeks? ...depends.

Anything that depicts an alteration or amendment of a character’s canon sexual orientation. I’m sticking to canon, guys. Sorry.

Anything that depicts racism, abuse, pedophilia, rape.

Mechas, robots, Sci-Fi & Zombies. Just.. No.

Colouring:

Please provide the reference for the colouring you wanted onto the characters or art.

Only flat colours/very minimal rendering available.

PAYMENT METHOD, REFUND POLICY & DELIVERY METHOD will be presented and discussed privately through email.

If you are interested in commissioning me, please send me an email to hansaera0891@gmail.com stating your Tumblr URL, so I can update and organize. Once I have, we will start discuss about the commission!

I hope that is clear. If there are any information I might have overlook, don’t hesitate to send me an ask or DM!

If you can’t commission me, I have a Patreon if you’d like to become a patron and Ko-Fi if you’d like to donate! I also have a Redbubble if you’d like to buy my merchs, or you can always reblog and boost this post! :D Thank you so much for all your support my lovelies ♥

[lemony-snickers]

it has been funny reading thru these survey results (the one referenced in this post).

full disclosure, i do not follow the blog that conducted the survey & didn’t know it was happening, i’ve just been perusing the answers on and off since seeing that post.

also gonna put this shit under a cut because nobody needs to hear my meandering thoughts on a thing that does not actually concern me asldfjasd

anyway.

sooooo many of the salty responses (and these are not the majority, they are just louder than the rest), the people who are complaining complaining about writers “not doing their job” and similar sorts of things seem typically to be upset about the following:

writers not writing enough

writers not writing the specific content they want to see

writers having other interests

writers lamenting burnout and lack of engagement, which they perceive as the writer’s fault

and like.  i just want to know.

how much is someone supposed to write?  how much is enough writing?

because when i started this blog i posted almost once a day.  an utterly & totally unsustainable pace.  burnout is real.  it really happens.  even when you love something a lot, it can still weigh you down.

and it is so easy, i think, to get caught up in the feedback loop.  to think “oh people like what i am doing, therefore i shoul do more of it.”

but at a certain point that is literally not possible.  i did burn myself out.  i had to step back because what i was doing could not be maintained.

i have posted approximately 5k-10k words per week on average, over the last two-ish months.  maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot to some people, but from an objective perspective, i’m gonna go out on a limb and say it is.  (and, you know, for once i will say i actually know what i’m talking about.)

is that enough?  should i be doing more?

more than half of the writing i have posted to this blog has been based on requests received.  and you know what?  more than half of those posted this year, i have never heard from the person who requested them.  anon requests, i understand, are submitted in such a way for a variety of reasons.  and i’m not expecting someone to “out” themselves on their blog by rb’ing their smutty kakashi/reader request onto their wholesome recipe blog or whatever.

but until recently, my ask box was open.  and i still did not receive asks from the folks who requested some of these fics.  just a, “hey that was nice.  :)”

i used to, but somewhere along the way, i lost that and i don’t know what i did wrong, you know? because according to these folks, i am doing something wrong.

am i expecting too much?  i spend hours writing.  i spend hours and hours and hours creating content for other people.  i do not have a ko-fi.  i cannot offer commissions.

is hoping for some recognition of the labor that goes into writing really so much to ask?

writing as a whole is entirely devalued in our society.  there is this expectation that anyone can write.

and you know what?  i am actually one of those people.  when i lost my job as a freelance writer, i thought, “that makes sense.  i’m not that special.”

but the time it takes is still time.  the effort it takes is still effort. even if everyone can sit down and write 50k words of smutty fanfiction, most people won’t.

the idea that burnout is “not real” or that writers need to “just post consistently” in order to maintain interest in their work is absurd.

i write almost every single day, but not every day is as productive as i would like it to be.  i recently had to help care for a loved one in hospice.  it was incredibly stressful; i travelled out of state, lived on an air mattress away from my spouse for a week while being under intense emotional and physical stress (dementia is a fucking monster, y’all).  i came home, stayed a week, returned the following weekend to say my goodbyes, drove back home, learned of my loved one’s death on the drive and cried in a rest stop parking lot, spent another week at home, and then returned for the memorial service where i had to give the eulogy because no one else in my family could.

it was exhausting.  and i worked every day but one that entire time, remotely or in the office.  i took phone calls from my grandmother’s bedroom and while i signed for hospital equipment and morphine refills.

and still i posted fanfic.  still i wrote requests for people even though all i wanted to do was chuck myself over a cliff.

is that not enough?  will it ever be enough?  will anything?

is it so absurd that i would post about that?  is grief a reasonable enough excuse to post something annoying and not what people followed me for?

idk.  listen, i think i am a garbage human with no talent, lol.  the fact that people do not comment much on my work, do not reblog it, always lands on my shoulders as a cloak of, “told you you were worthless.”

and, obviously, that is my own thing.  that is its own problem.  but what else is a person supposed to think?  when you spend countless hours writing something only to post it with the highest hopes and to hear nothing in return?

what is that supposed to mean if not, “sorry, but not good enough?”

in the end, all we can control is what we ourselves do.  the energy we put out into the world.  and i just cannot imagine being so hateful or judgemental or cruel.  i cannot tell you how often i have had someone say, “i’d love a sequel to this!” without sparing just a moment to tell me why.

the why matters, you know.  if someone’s work is good enough for you to read, good enough for you to ask for.

oughtn’t it be good enough for you to say why?

i’ve not been great at keeping up with my fellow writers lately and for that i do apologize.  but i hope you all know from my past screaming comments and reblogs and recommendations how much i value the work you do.  how much i see the effort you put in.

because someone should tell you it is.  someone should tell you that it’s okay to feel burned out or sad or to stop writing for a while because you need to do something else.

i’ll tell you.  i’m not great at telling myself, yet, but maybe eventually i’ll get there.

ramble over.  ily all very much, take care of yourselves.  <3

[sylverstorms]

Miranda x Mia---- Eternal

A Ko-Fi commission I wrote for the wonderful @saltwatereulogies. Thank you so very much for the support and I hope you enjoy the fic!

Drip. Splatter.

The first sound you’re aware of is that of the occasional waterdrop crashing onto the same humid, uneven floor you’re lying on.

The second is the sound of her voice.

“Rise and shine.” she says, somewhere off to the side. You are still too disoriented to pinpoint exactly where.

You’re not dizzy enough, though, to not immediately realize you’re trapped. The way the light behind your captor shines makes it all the more obvious, casting large shadows in the shape of your prison bars across your small, moldy cell.

“Y-you…” you struggle to talk. Your throat is too dry and your temples pound like a war drum. It feels like you’ve collided with a truck. And yet her voice commanding you to sleep is the last thing you remember.

“I haven’t formally introduced myself. Though I’m sure your friend has told you about me.”

You blink to make your vision focus yet it’s hopeless. She is but a dark blur to you –am I hallucinating or are those wings?

“My name is Miranda.”

Suddenly, that name snaps everything into focus so sharply you could get whiplash. You’re on your knees the next second, just about ready to leap at her. She’s the one. The one Chris warned you about. She may look like an angel but she is a devil.

“I don’t care who the hell you are! What do you want from me?!” you demand.

“Your cooperation in my experiments, for starters.” she says it calmly, but she is no fool to believe you’ll just agree to that, you can see it in her crystal-blue eyes.

“Ha! As if!” you retort.

“Well. That answer will change when I have Rose.” The name of your daughter makes every nerve ending in your body kick at once.

“What. Like Ethan will just hand her over to the likes of you?”

“Actually.”

A slow smirk crosses her full lips. Then their shape changes to match yours. All of her does, until you are left looking at a perfect mirror of yourself. Only, there’s no way you look quite that good inside of this shitty cell.

“He’ll hand her over to you.”

When she laughs, it is your own voice haunting your ears.

-

-

She has your daughter. She has your everything in her hands. So, she has your cooperation, as well.

Miranda doesn’t really talk when she comes to collect blood samples for whatever experiments she needs them. Your initial cries and questions were muted the second she told you the more helpful and less annoying you are, the more inclined she’ll feel to bring Rose to you for a while.

In the end, you do let yourself be her docile little lab rat.

Until you literally can’t take the silence anymore.

“Was it really… that easy?” ‘To enter my home and take my daughter’ you want to add but you can’t even get the words past your throat.

She seems to understand, though. “Effortless.” she isn’t being cocky as she says it. In fact, she seems almost surprised herself. At least, from the angle you get of her face, while she’s studying a strange rock-like substance under a microscope.

“How the hell did Ethan not figure out you aren’t me?!” That moron. He just gave your daughter to her. That clueless moron!

For a split second, you see her lip twitch in what could, perhaps, be a withheld smile. “I was there for a day, so. Seems like your husband doesn’t know you quite that well.”

Is it really fair to blame him for not knowing you, though? With the secrets you’ve kept from him? The distance? The trauma from the shared nightmare you experienced coming back to you every time you even looked at him?

God, Rose really is the only thing that kept you together, isn’t she…

It’s easy to hate the accursedly beautiful bitch outside your cell. It’s easy to blame Ethan for not even suspecting something was amiss with you for a whole damn day.

It is not so easy to blame yourself as much as you do them.

-

-

Miranda replies when you ask her things, so you ask her about herself. To your surprise, she does not shroud her motives from you.

She has lost her daughter, she tells you, and the only way to get her back is through yours. For the first time since you met her, you see emotion clearly expressed in her eyes and voice. You recognize how she longs to be with her child again.

You can understand the never-ending grief of a mother losing her offspring. You know if anything happened to Rose you would rather fling yourself off a cliff than live a life without her.

And apparently, that is what she tried to do, too. She tried to die –and discovered life instead. That is what she calls it, anyway. All you can hear as she explains is that she found –and founded— the Mold. The same one that ruined your husband and you.

One more reason to hate the psycho witch.

And yet.

When you try to reach for the rage you previously held for her, you find that it’s gone. You’re bitter, you’re exhausted, you want to cry and above everything you want to see Rose again. But you don’t loathe her as you should.

“What do you mean… the only way to get Eva back is through Rose?” you dare ask after several minutes of silence.

She turns to look at you, eyes as piercing as they are blue. “Technically, the trade is simple.” Maybe you’re losing it from the stress and lack of sleep, but you think she almost hesitates for a second. “…a life for a life.”

As soon as she speaks and the meaning of her words registers in your mind, you’re gripping at the rusty iron bars with all your might, rattling them, shouting profanities at her. You are back to hating her all over again. It’s much simpler this way.

Until… she walks over and grabs your hand over the metal. Her touch is oddly warm for such a glacial heart. You cannot tell what she does to you, but it feels like an aura flowing through your system that silences you. Calms you. You do not want to be calm.

“I wasn’t finished.” she speaks. “That is where the experiments with you come in. By running tests on your blood and Rose’s and using my DNA as a medium, during the ritual I can trick the Megamycete into giving me what I want through a form of mitosis. Essentially, cell duplication that will not override the existing vessel.”

To be honest… you lost her midway through the very first sentence. You were quite good with biology back in the day but right now, in the state you’re in, science is going right over your head.

“...Is there an English version of that.” you ask.

Her mouth curves into that almost-smile again. It would be quite gorgeous, actually, if she hadn’t kidnapped you, infiltrated your home as you and abducted your daughter.

“If the tests succeed, you get your daughter back, I get mine from cloned DNA and Mold cells.” There’s a hint of pride in her voice as she says it.

And now, assuming she’s telling the truth, you want those tests to succeed more than you want to get out of here. Her hand leaves yours and the weird calm she blasted into you dissipates with it.

“Wait. So…” Realization strikes you like a thunderclap. “So these tests are for me?”

“You’re welcome.”

“I didn’t say thank you, you crazy b—blonde.” You rattle the iron bars again, a tad weaker than before. She does smirk over the microscope, this time. “How likely are the tests to succeed?” you ask impatiently.

“Quite.” she replies, flat once again.

“…And if they don’t?” you hate how your voice shakes there, at the end.

She looks at you, dead in the eyes, as she answers: “I am getting my daughter back either way, Mia.”

You can’t believe it. You cannot believe you’re thinking this, but you hope the crazy bitch knows what she’s doing.

-

-

Miranda is… despicable, but she is a woman of her word.

She brings you Rose for hours at a time and in exchange you help her outside of your cell. You thought your daughter would be in a worse condition, considering who keeps her, yet she’s healthy as ever, well-fed and clean. The worst part is, she laughs every time Miranda comes close and she even reaches out for her.

“No, my darling, don’t do that.” you tell her, tucking her tighter in your arms, before the woman behind you notices what’s happening.

Except it’s too late. “Ah, I see.” Miranda speaks, coming up to you from behind. She’s tall enough to lean over your shoulder and wave at Rose, who moves both hands towards her. “A lady of taste.” the woman praises and the lightness to her voice almost makes her sound like someone else. Someone normal.

“Stop it.” You turn your child away from her. “She’s just confused because you’re lit up like a Christmas tree.” You motion with your chin at her getup.

Miranda chuckles. “What. She senses our bond. Rose feels safe with me.”

Safe with the monster who wants to sacrifice her to get her own child back. You cannot swallow that thought down. “But she’s not, is she?!” you snap.

“She is.” Miranda reverts to her cool facade, glancing down at your daughter. “I will never let anything hurt her. And when she gives me Eva back, I will make sure she grows up bathed in luxury.”

It’s the Mold, you’re sure of it.

It’s the Mold’s fault that you believe her.

-

-

You were supposed to see Rose today. Instead, Miranda comes into the cave alone, looking irritated. You start to worry. Nothing phases her without a good reason. What if—

“Where’s my daughter?!” you demand, eyes wide.

“We have a problem.” she tells you. Your blood goes cold in your veins. “A problem named Ethan Winters.”

“Ethan?” you gasp.

“He is trying to get Rose back and according to reports from the Lords under me, he cannot be killed. His hand got cut off and he just reattached it. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” she’s certain that you know. You can see it in her steely eyes.

“I— why would I—”

“Before you think to lie to me, hear something else. I bear good news, as well.” Miranda says. “I have succeeded in my experiments. During the ritual, I can guarantee Rose will remain unharmed and unchanged.” the edge of her lip curls up as she delivers the news. You almost cry from the sheer relief.

You almost leap forward and hug her, yet you remember who she is and that she caused this mess in the first place.

“But my conditions have changed.” her voice is a sword that cuts off your happiness just like that. You knew it was too good to be true. “For me to save Rose, you will tell me how to permanently get rid of Ethan Winters.”

…What?

She wants you to… trade your daughter for your husband? How the hell can I do that?!

“He has ruined too much for me to let him walk away happily now.” Her jaw is tight enough to sprout new lines on her flawless face. She wants him dead and she always gets what she wants. “He has killed colleagues of mine. Spat in the face of a damn-near god. I will have his head.”

The corners of your eyes sting with welling tears. Your body is far more honest than you in making a decision. Nobody is too important to sacrifice when it comes to your daughter. Not yourself. Not Ethan. And Miranda knows this better than anybody else. You loathe how she knows.

“Give him to me, Mia. And in a few days this whole thing will be over.” she continues in a significantly softer tone, getting closer to you. Her wings shift, the very edge of black feathers brushing your arms.

“You want me to aid in killing the father of my child?!” you sob, grabbing at her clothes. You’d expect her to shove you away, but she doesn’t move. She doesn’t even blink.

“You have been so cooperative and so brave.” she soothes, gold-taloned fingers coming underneath your chin. “Make one last sacrifice for me. Help me murder Ethan so Rose can live. Help me and I vow to be her eternal guardian angel. Hers and yours.”

She could just force the answer out of you. She’s touching you and you know she has that power. But she doesn’t do it and it’s far worse this way. She wants it to be your choice.

You look away from Miranda’s icy eyes and her promises of everything.

And you tell her.

-

-

You do not ask about Ethan. All that’s in your mind is the ceremony.

For the entire morning, you cannot breathe. You trace notes in her lab and pace around until you literally feel like you’ll explode—

And then Miranda comes in. She is radiant, smiling from ear to ear, glowing with pure joy. She looks every part the goddess she pretends to be. The golden circle usually adorning her back is gone, her long blonde hair is left free to flow like fine strands of silk past her square shoulders.

“It is done!” she tells you, a hand extended for you to take. “Come. I’ll take you to Rose and you will be the first to meet Eva.”

Her hand is warm when it closes around yours. Black wings shroud you both. There is a gravitational pull around you that’s so intense you shut your eyes and grab onto her biceps for dear life.

“You can look, now.” she speaks once the world is stable again. Your gut is churning, yet every bit of exhaustion and discomfort vanish the second you see Rose. She is safe within the first of the two golden cribs in front of you, bathed by the soft sunlight that disperses across the luxurious, dark-tiled chamber you’re in.

You run towards her, lifting your daughter in your arms and kissing her forehead over and over. She laughs at you, blue eyes crinkled. My love. My everything, you think. Everything was worth it for this moment. And you would do it all again, to ensure her safety.

Miranda’s steps, regal and authoritative, come to a stop near the other crib. You lean closer, take a look… to see another little angel there, sleeping peacefully. She resembles Rose, yet she resembles Miranda, too.

“Oh my God.” you breathe. “You really did it.”

“I did it and you and Rose made it possible, Mia.” she says. Your child extends a tiny hand towards her. She removes one of her claws and lets her finger be taken in your baby’s grip. “You don’t have to leave. She loves me already.” A proud smile curves her lips.

You hate how it looks like a sunrise.

You hate it even more that you understand why Rose is so charmed.

“Her mom can grow to love me, too.” Crystal eyes look into your own. “There is no place safer than by my side. Stay and we will raise them together. You won’t have to fear disease or death with me. You and Rose will have every little thing you could ever want. Forever.”

You don’t want your child to be co-patented by this selfish megalomaniac, who is the killer of her father. But. Then you stop to consider what you have been through until now. Nightmare after nightmare; this vicious cycle does not look like it will be broken. One thing or another will haunt you and hunt you wherever you go. You don’t want that life for Rose.

You won’t accept that life for Rose.

“…we will stay. But you can forget that part about me growing any fonder of you than I am now.”

Miranda nods, but something in her expression is so damn cocky you want to smack her. “Oh, what’s that, Rose? You can tell your mother is lying, too? My genius girl.”

Your jaw drops. She is my genius girl!

Miranda then touches your chin and tilts it up. You don’t want to be any closer to the gorgeous fucking witch, but when she stops there, hovering just over your mouth for a skipped heartbeat, looking down at you with those crystalline eyes of hers, you’re paralyzed.

Her lips slide over your own for just one slick, hot second. When she pulls back, she caresses Rose’s cheek and winks at you.

“I hate you.” you say, yet it holds no real bite. God, you’re exhausted.

“That’s alright. We have all the time in the world to change that.”

[colorful-horses]

💐 ?

💐 - who’s your favourite mlp blog?

I don't know if I have a Single favorite blogger, so heres a list of some of my absolute favorite pony bloggers:

🎨 MLP Art Blogs

@cassettepony - Such a unique art style. Cannot stress enough how unique her art style is! It's very stylistic and the colors are POPPIN- they're so saturated and pretty! Her art reminds me of jolly ranchers,, I also absolutely love the exaggerated expressions and how she draws EYES (when the corner of the mouth slightly clips over the bottom of the eye.........immaculate) + She does something really special that I never see any other pony artists doing, which is giving the ponies little chin hairs or 5 o'clock shadows (I. i don't know what it's called please forgive me). It is so special and cool to see, and it's so recognizable! I ADORE Cassettes art and I've always been too shy to say hi so uhhh. Hi! 👋

@msponies - ponies drawn in mspaint. HIGH QUALITY posts here. I am so inspired by their use of colors- the RANGE in some of these posts is crazy. Some of these drawings have such extremely unique color combos that you wouldn't think would work so well together, but msponies is just a master at using a color palette to its full potential its actually crazy! Their Trixie drawings are some of the best, and I cant help but admire how bold their backgrounds are (yea I know that kinda goes hand in hand with the whole color palette thing but i just really like their art); the bold colors and the dark outlines are so scrumptious

@celebrationcastle - They don't update extremely often, but when they do, you kno its gonna be a top tier post. They have a very flexible artstyle, and they post fanart for every generation. They were the ones who made that Valentines Pinkie Pie design that popped off a while ago, and for good reason; they are extremely good at drawing and designing. Like, they've completely mastered the artstyle of g3 and g4 (and probably every other gen. its nuts), and their g5 fanarts art probably my favorite I've ever seen (sunny starscout, my beloved). Everything they post is a banger. Their blog is just such a big inspiration to me :,)

📖 General MLP Blogs

@yodawgiheardyoulikeponies - absolute FAVORITE pony collecting blog. OP is SO sweet and her collection is AMAZING! I absolutely adore her photos and her posts, and her enthusiasm about collecting is so infectious. The positive energy on her blog is absolutely pure sugar, and I just really cannot stress enough how much effort she puts into her posts. She makes little pony photo shoots! And makes little stories out of them!!! It's so fun to just sit and read through. I always check her blog after new merch is released just because it's it's interesting to read about a Pony Veteran giving their input on modern toys. 1000/10 I love this blog

@ahorseofeverycolor - I only have notifications on for like. 5 or 6 blogs? And this is definitely one of them. They regularly post about ponies and horses (okay, they mostly focus on Breyers, but thats not a negative to me at all- I got my first Breyer the other day BECAUSE of this blog, lol), and their blog is just so clean and organized! They post about so many different kinds of ponies, whether it be comparing flat-footed release to concave foot releases, or custom ponies they made themselves, or just really cool pony finds that aren't necessarily obtainable (prototypes, special custom ponies commissioned by hasbro by professional artists, etc) but are really cool to look at!!! I really like this blog!!!

@mustcollecthorses - This is a blog that I have a super bad habit of opening and then scrolling through for like. 2 hours straight, lol. It's a mix of reblogs and original posts, so it's really my Ideal pony blog; usually when I hear about pony news, it's because he reblogged it! It's a very focused blog, so it's definitely a good one to follow if you need some more horses on your dash! He recently made an edit of Hitch from the new 5 pack to give him brushable hair, which I absolutely love (why did they gotta give him sculpted hair umu) I also like that OP leaves tags on the posts he reblogs! I don't know if it's just me, but I always like a blog more if they add tags with input about the toys and news and things like that. It adds some personality and a Vibe to the blog and I just really like it!!!

ok thats all! i of course follow a bunch of other pony themed blogs, but those are some of my top favorites, and ill limit it to 3 per category for the sake of simplicity. please consider following them! They're all so cool and talented!!!

--

send me pony themed asks

[tallstars-rewrite]

Chapter 23

chapter list / previous / next

Upon closing his eyes, the feelings returned. The earth crumbling above his head. The weight of the walls, thick and solid with stone and mud pressing against him. He couldn’t breathe. No light in sight. No way to even tell which way was up, or if there even was an up. 

Tallpaw jolted awake, and the pain returned to his body. His front leg throbbed and he didn’t dare test its movement. His shoulder burned as if vicious claws had raked across his flesh and taken all the skin with it. Someone was gently grooming his fur. Hawkheart's familiar grizzled shape leaned over the muddy form of Woollycloud. Tallpaw's head shot up as he remembered what had happened to him. For a moment he thought Woollycloud might be suddenly dead as well, but his flank rose and fell faintly beneath his gray fur, still dusty with soil.

“Don’t move so fast,” Lilywhisker’s gentle voice came from behind him. She placed a paw softly on his back when he tried to stand. “You’ve had a bad shock. Your wounds need to be cleaned.” 

“The tunnels--the tunnel, i-it--”

“I know.” Lilywhisker said gently. “You’re alright. You’re safe now.”

“Did he wake up? How do you feel Tallpaw?” Dawnstripe’s head poked through the entrance. She looked distressed and exhausted.

Tallpaw tried to shake the dizziness from his head. “No--listen to me, my fathers down there, some cat has to go get him. I didn’t want to leave him alone.”

“No cat can help Sandstone now,” Hawkheart rumbled. Tallpaw just stared at the medicine cat blankly. That couldn’t be right. They had to go help him, he had to go help him.

“Hawkheart, please,” Lilywhisker hissed.

“It’s the truth, and there’s nothing any cat can do about that. If he really was down there, then he’s gone.”

“No.” Tallpaw snapped.

 It wasn’t even shock, it was to him a statement of fact. He was surprised by the force in his voice, as if he said it with enough will behind it it would simply become true. No, It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t, not after what had already happened. He simply refused to accept that that was the case.

Dawnstripe pressed her muzzle against his head. “I’m sorry, Tallpaw.”

“No!” Tallpaw yowled, “he couldn’t have gotten trapped, no one knows the tunnels better than him. It couldn’t have--”

“Tallpaw,” Woollycloud’s mew creaked. “It’s the truth. The other tunnelers checked every other possible entrance. They’ve been looking since sunset. They’re all collapsed.” 

Tallpaw ignored the pain and pulled away from Lilywhisker despite her protest, standing on shaking legs. “Didn’t you see him? He was down there, we can’t just give up!!”

Hawkheart hissed and looked like he wanted to push Tallpaw back down into his nest but all he did was give a dismissive gesture to Lilywhisker and Dawnstripe with a curt jerk of his muzzle. 

“Thank you for your assistance Lilywhisker, but I think my den will need space for now. Crowding will just add to the stress. I’ll take it from here.”

Lilywhisker nodded sadly. “I’ll be nearby if you need anything. Whatever little help I can offer you, since...I assume you’ll be working alone again for a bit.” 

She turned and led Dawnstripe from the den, who looked mournfully once at her apprentice before following. Hawkheart disappeared to the back, leaving Tallpaw with Woollycloud.

Woollycloud put a large paw on Tallpaw’s foreleg while he continued to desperately babble,  “if we just dug through it, Woollycloud, if any cat can, you could! there has to be some way, please, I can’t take this. Not after Brackenwing, it’s not fair! Sandstone had to have found some way out, he wouldn’t let himself get trapped! It doesn’t make sense!”

Woollycloud pressed his nose against Tallpaw’s forehead, and his voice was hollow with exhaustion and grief. “I do know the tunnels. I know how unsafe they are. The most skilled tunnelers in the world cannot command the earth, nor can we stop it when it breaks. I promise you, if there was anything I could do...Nothing would stop me from doing it. Your father was a brave cat, but he is a cat as mortal as the rest of us. He is in StarClan’s paws now.”

Tallpaw opened his mouth to argue further, and shut it again. His voice was gone. This was too much. The world itself was snatched out from under his paws, he felt like he was trapped in a worse kind of tunnel again. The force of it pressing on his heart. Stone filling up his stomach and pulling him to the ground. He couldn’t speak. He just lay his head in his paws. How could Sandstone just not exist anymore? He had been alive not a few hours ago. Feeling just as confident and invincible as he always had. The last thing he’d said to Tallpaw was what a disappointment he's been. And now, how could he ever make it up to him? How could anything ever get better?

“It’s not fair, It’s not fair, I never even got to...I couldn’t even say sorry,” was all he could choke out. “Why Sandstone? Why Brackenwing? Why not any other cat?” Why not me? He wanted to say.

“I wish I knew Tallpaw. I really do.” Woollycloud rested his muzzle on Tallpaw’s neck as he lay there.

 Outside, there were no voices. It was early dawn, the sky fading into a pale misty gray. To his dismay, out in the center of camp he saw only an empty ring of purple flowers where Brackenwing had been. He had missed her vigil completely. She was already gone.

 He hadn’t even had time to properly accept it. All that remained of these cats who had been such a massive part of his life were simply swept away without a trace from his world, and they weren't ever coming back, and that was all there was to it. The bad dream he thought he was having was broken. There was no waking up from this.

No one outside would speak until the sun touched the horizon. He knew it was meant to be a time of reflection and peace as they let go of their clanmate and wished them well on their journey to Silverpelt. Tallpaw didn’t feel at peace. He only felt trapped with the heavy thoughts in his head. Wherever his mother was, however she took the deaths, Tallpaw’s heart couldn’t take seeing her. He wondered numbly how much loss and grief a cat could be struck with before they simply crumbled to pieces where they stood.

They would continue only communicating in signs and gestures until the mourning patrol returned after sunrise. Tallpaw stared into the quiet empty camp, watching daylight slowly creep across the rain soaked ground. On a normal morning, the night patrols would be returning and the clan would be bathing in the first light of sun since the rain clouds had begun to part. It seemed so wrong for the weather to be this cheerful while he felt so dreadful. Had he expected the sun to stay down and the world to remain shadowed in the dark? It would have at least felt more appropriate. But the sun rose anyway, in spite of Tallpaw’s feelings. 

At last the patrol returned, filing into camp and sitting below Tall Rock, waiting. Heatherstar made her way through the crowd and leaped up to address them. For a few heartbeats she was still, as if composing herself, before she finally spoke.

“WindClan has been blessed to know so many moons without loss, not since our beloved Badgerstar took her leave of us. Four seasons have now passed and she has watched over us and blessed our clan with time to recover. But with all great blessings, there must be hardships that follow.”

She nodded to the elders who sat at the base of the rock alongside Reedfeather. As the elders of the clan who had served the longest, they would give the final words of remembrance. Fennelpelt stood and dipped his head to the clan, and his old tired voice rang out.

“Remember our sister Brackenwing and our brother Sandstone as we continue to serve our clan in their memory. May StarClan light our path.”

“May StarClan light our path.” the clan echoed back, their silence broken at last.

Heatherstar continued, “as a clan we must go on. I will confer with my elders and deputy about how we will address ShadowClan’s threat. Brackenwing will not die in vain. I assure you we will protect our land.”

With that the crowd began to break apart. Reedfeather gathered the able warriors to him and began to organize the patrols. They would need extra to make sure their territory was clear of threats. Hawkheart had returned to the den. 

Woollycloud greeted the medicine cat as he entered.  “I’d hoped we would share the morning of remembrance again,” he said. “It has been so long…Surely we can’t let the tradition be gone forever?”

Hawkheart grunted “I’m not sure the clan remembers how. They are too on edge to rest after the attack. Not to mention the younger ones have never even experienced it. They will remember in their own way.”

Woollycloud sighed. “How is Brackenwing’s family?”

Hawkheart shook his head. “As well as one might expect. No one wants the first death a cat experiences to be their own mother. Briarpaw...” he trailed off. “...Briarpaw may be out of commission for me a bit longer. And Shrewpaw shares his father’s temper. Anger is one of the only things louder than grief after all. That cat is living proof of it.”

The ceremony of remembrance that Woollycloud lamented was done seasons ago, where the whole day after a body had been taken away, the clan would sit together and share stories of the fallen, remembering their skills and their gifts to the clan. The tradition had died out sometime during the famine moons before Tallpaw was born, when so much death happened so the stories could not be fit into a day and the clan had no time to spare that wasn’t spent hunting. It was one thing Sandstone once said he was glad of. “If the famine did anything, it taught us to be strong. We do no favor’s for our dead by weeping for them.” 

Tallpaw, unlike him, was not used to death. How could this ever feel normal? How could it be over so quickly? But that’s what warriors do, Tallpaw thought, and his father’s voice echoed in his head. Good warriors hold their heads high and march onward. If you can’t do something about it, you just go on. No point in wallowing in your sadness. Even now, despite everything, taking his father's words to heart hurt. He couldn’t imagine ever getting up again, let alone returning to his duties. But then, I've never really been a worthy warrior, have I? Sandstone knew that. 

Tallpaw watched blearily as Reedfeather organized and sent off the border and hunting patrols. Just like the sun rising, the day simply...continued. Everyone had to return to their duties to feed and protect the clan, just as they’d had to yesterday. How could everything just go on when nothing was the same at all? It would never be the same again.

***

“Has there been any increased pain? Burning?” Hawkheart asked, sniffing the wound across Tallpaw’s shoulder.

Tallpaw did not reply. 

“He has not complained of any,” Woollycloud responded for him.

Hawkheart huffed and turned to the back of his den, mumbling something about marigold. 

Dawnstripe was of course the first cat to come see him. Tallpaw managed to turn to touch noses with her when she entered.

“Heatherstar isn’t upset with you, is she?” Tallpaw asked weakly. 

Dawnstripe blinked at him in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“About what I did in the battle. How badly I messed up. I don’t want it to be your fault. I couldn’t remember what you taught me.”

Dawnstripe blinked in surprise and then in sympathy as she shook her head. “Of course not Tallpaw. You must remember what I told you about blaming yourself.”

“I want to be better. I will be. I promise. We can start training again as soon as Hawkheart lets me.” Tallpaw said firmly. No matter how much the idea of returning to "normalcy" dragged him down, he had to try.

Dawnstripe sighed and touched her nose to his forehead. “Tallpaw, you must give yourself time. You know I will understand if you need longer to get back on your paws.”

“The rest of the clan keeps going. I can’t do nothing. I have to make it up to them.”

Dawnstripe held his gaze “The fate of the clan is not your burden alone to bear, nor is it any one cat’s. It’s not fair to hold yourself responsible for what happened, or hold yourself responsible for fixing it. Not for what happened to Brackenwing or Sandstone. We are always ready to give our lives for our clan, and sometimes it can’t be prevented.”

Tallpaw curled his lip as he pawed absentmindedly at a stray twig on the ground, to avoid making eye contact with his mentor. “Brackenwing may have died nobly. What happened to my father wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have happened. It was pointless and stupid and he’s just gone for no reason. If that rogue hadn’t been down there messing around…" Tallpaw sat up suddenly, clearly taking Dawnstripe aback as her gaze flicked to the wound on his shoulder with sudden concern, but Tallpaw couldn’t think about it as a burst of anger flared through his hollow chest. “And where is he anyway!?” he demanded. “Did he just run off again? Will he not even face us after what he caused?”

“What happened was an accident, Tallpaw--” Dawnstripe began, but she stopped, seemingly sensing that the words would likely do no good for him. “The visitors spotted us as we traveled home this morning. They should be here soon to speak with Heatherstar.”

“Good,” Tallpaw said. “I want to be there when they do. And he’d better be there.”

Woollycloud started to protest, but Dawnstripe shook her head at him. Almost on cue, soon after the visitors scent touched the roof of Tallpaw’s mouth, and he stifled a growl as he spotted them. He couldn’t see if Sparrow was there.

Heatherstar came forward to greet Bess, and the molly dipped her head to her respectfully. 

“We offer our sincerest condolences. Brackenwing was a kind and wonderful cat. May she rest peacefully.” Bess mewed. There seemed to be genuine sadness in her voice and in the face of her companions. Tallpaw couldn’t help feeling defensive. They barely knew Brackenwing. They didn’t truly know what WindClan had lost, and their words were empty as far as he was concerned. 

Heatherstar nodded solemnly. “We thank you for your words. But I’m afraid we must discuss, it is still unclear to us what happened in regards to Sandstone.”

“Sandstone? The big pale ginger tom, yes?” Bess sounded confused, and Tallpaw wanted to scream.

Algernon spoke up “Is it true then? Something did happen to him as well?”

“You don’t know? Sparrow... did not tell you?” Heatherstar questioned. 

Tallpaw couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer as he thrust his way out of the den “And where is Sparrow?” he demanded. Shocked eyes that snapped to him, as he hadn’t spoken much or left the den since he returned, but Tallpaw ignored them. “Has he run off again? Is he too ashamed to face what he did?”

“I’m right here.” Tallpaw barely heard the quiet voice. Sparrow had been in the back of the group, blocked from Tallpaw’s view by Mole and Reena. He didn’t try to shift forward to meet Tallpaw’s gaze either. Was he trying to hide from him? 

Reena made a small distressed sound at Tallpaw's accusation as everyone’s eyes turned towards her and her companion. “Sparrow said...he didn’t want to talk about it yet. I wanted to give him space. But it’s not fair to say it was his fault!” she protested.

“Reena, what in the stars has happened?” Bess asked.

“It is his fault!” Tallpaw cried. “Sandstone chased him down the tunnels, he wasn’t supposed to be down there! Sandstone never would have gone into those tunnels if it weren’t for him!”

The clan began muttering, Plumclaw got to her feet with fur beginning to bristle. Heatherstar raised her tail for silence, but her eyes narrowed slightly. “Why had you gone down there, Sparrow?”

At last Sparrow came forward. His fur was unruffled to Tallpaw’s surprise. He gazed around him evenly. It’s like he doesn’t even care! 

“It was an accident,” Sparrow said simply. “I thought I smelled those ShadowClan cats you warned us about. I wasn’t with the others so I didn’t know there had been an attack that day of course, or I wouldn’t have been on the moor. I ran down what I thought was a rabbit hole to hide, because I remembered what you all said about how important it was for us not to be spotted by them, but the tunnel was longer than I thought. I was only going to hide for a moment, and then leave, but then Sandstone appeared down there. He was furious with me, and I didn’t know why. He demanded that I follow him out, and said he knew a short cut, a different way then where I’d come in. The shortcut went down narrow passageways and when he squeezed through an opening...I don’t know, I think something was knocked loose, and from there, the whole thing started shifting. I turned and ran back the way we came, and by pure luck found the entrance I had come in originally and escaped. I thought Sandstone was behind me but...I guess he wasn’t.”

“That’s fox-dung!” Tallpaw spat. “Why would Sandstone do that if the first entrance was closer? And it doesn’t explain why you just left him behind after he tried to help you!”

Sparrow met his gaze evenly, and Tallpaw fought the urge to leap across the clearing and claw that smug apathetic look off his face. “What could I have done? I don’t know anything about the tunnels. I trusted that he did, that’s why I followed him down those passageways. I didn’t think to question why he did it. It must have just been a mistake.”

Tallpaw looked wildly around at his clanmates. “You can’t possibly believe this! It’s absurd! No cat knew the tunnels better than Sandstone.” He turned his furious gaze back on Sparrow, who looked as unbothered as ever. “How dare you try to blame him for this!  You’re not telling the full truth!”

“But…” Hazelnose mewed quietly “it is true Sandstone has been caught in collapses before. It happened not a quarter moon ago when he brought Tallpaw down into those same tunnels.”

Tallpaw stared at him in disbelief. How could one of Sandstone’s own tunnelers say something like that?

 “That was my fault.” Tallpaw insisted. “I didn’t listen and dug too fast in the wrong place. Sandstone always knew what he was doing.” “He’d been getting bold and reckless.” Hazelnose continued. “I looked up to Sandstone as much as any tunneler. But we’ve known that tunneling has been getting more dangerous each season. He had too much faith in that tunnel system. These accidents have always happened sometimes and...and this time it caught him. It’s horrible but I have no reason to believe the visitors would lie to us.”

“You have no reason to blindly trust them either! How could you betray Sandstone’s memory like that? P-Plumclaw, what about you?”  He turned to the slouching gray molly. Surely Sandstone’s own apprentice wouldn’t take this cowardly rogue's side. Plumclaw stared at her feet. She didn’t seem to know what to say.

Tallpaw felt himself growing desperate.“W-we can’t let him get away with this! He doesn’t care about us! I don’t believe him, I won’t! My father would be alive if it weren’t for him!” his voice rose into a piercing caterwaul, and when he finally stopped to breathe he saw the eyes of his clan mates staring wide. No one spoke up with him. They just stared at him with shocked concern. Tallpaw breathed heavily, his poultice crusted fur bristled. Hawkheart at last came from his den and put a paw on his foreleg.

“You need to stop making a scene,” he growled quietly. “This isn’t how a clan cat behaves--”

“Shut up! I don’t care!” 

Tallpaw ignored Hawkheart’s stunned look as he smacked his large paw away. He was sick of being looked down on when he knew he was right. Hawkheart looked as if he was going to cuff him back for talking to him in that way, but Tallpaw turned his back on him. He couldn’t care less about the medicine cat’s temper right now. “Heatherstar, please, you must believe me. We must do something!”

Heatherstar met his gaze evenly. “There is nothing to be done, Tallpaw.”

“No--”

“Enough." Her voice was firm but gentle. "You speak from your grief. We will tear ourselves apart looking for someone or something to blame when tragedy befalls us. What happened was a horrible accident. The visitors have shown kindness during their time with us, and I cannot believe that any of them would bear us ill will. We must move on.”

While Tallpaw had screamed, Sparrow had stayed as still as ever. It wasn’t fair. When Brackenwing was killed because of his misstep, guilt clawed Tallpaw raw, gutting him from the inside out. It still was. Here Sparrow was, having pointlessly and recklessly put a cat in death's path, and he didn’t even care. Sparrow looked away from him and simply went back to sit with Mole and Reena. He would carry nothing with him from this, because he had no reason to care about any cat other than himself. How dare he sit there perfectly fine with his actions while Tallpaw tore himself apart inside. Sparrow was the one who should have been buried. But there was nothing he could do now.

 Hawkheart shoved him roughly back and snarled, “I should give you another scar for talking to me like that. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

Tallpaw did not speak but he did not flinch away from Hawkheart either. Dawnstripe had come and whispered something to the medicine cat that Tallpaw couldn’t hear. The gruff old tom sniffed and stepped back to his den, hissing over his shoulder. “Your apprentice must be taught to control himself. Trust me, you don’t want me to teach him.”

Growling at Dawnstripe shut Tallpaw up instantly. He hung his head as his mentor sat beside him. Why did he have to be so much trouble for her? 

Meanwhile Algernon stepped up to Heatherstar, hanging his head low and mewed, “we’d never wish to cause you or your clan strife, Heatherstar. We swear to you, Sparrow is a good cat, and he’d never mean anyone harm. I’m so sorry for the misfortune we’ve brought with us.”

“I do believe you, Algernon.” Heatherstar said. She sounded tired. “Our clan owes you for how you’ve helped us in the past. But...I regret to admit, I don’t think it is a good idea for you to stay longer. Our territory may only get more dangerous from here and I can’t guarantee protection from our enemies.”

“We understand completely Heatherstar,” Bess said sadly. “We have mourned our dear Hen in this place long enough. It is time for us to move on. We wish all of you the best, and pray for peaceful times to find you soon.”

That was that. Many cats came forward to wish the visitors well. Even Dawnstripe left his side to say farewell to Bess. Tallpaw sat alone in the shadow of the medicine den.

Eventually, Reena hesitantly came over to Tallpaw. “I’m sorry, for everything that’s happened to you Tallpaw,” she said earnestly. “I know your grief. It’s awful to lose family like that. I hope one day you heal from your pain.”

Tallpaw didn’t so much as meet her eyes as rage still rolled in his stomach. He didn’t want her sympathy now, and he didn’t want to forgive her for siding with Sparrow when it was so obvious what he did wrong.

She raised a paw as if to reach to him, to say something else. But she didn’t. She mewed a quiet farewell and returned to her mother, tail dragging behind her. He would have hated to see the warm molly that way just yesterday. Some part of him said maybe he was being unfair. Reena had been kind and trustworthy every day he’d known her. But the anger and grief inside him washed over those feelings like a gust of wind blowing away paw prints in the dust.

The visitors would simply leave. Sparrow would never have to think about or face consequences for what he’d done to them. It didn’t matter what anyone said. If Sparrow wasn’t here, Sandstone would still be here. His father was gone, the cat that caused it would simply leave, and Tallpaw would be stuck drowning. If they had turned the visitors away, this would have been prevented. For all he knew, if they didn’t have outsiders on their territory, ShadowClan wouldn’t have had as quick an excuse to attack. Maybe their small patrol wouldn’t have been so viciously ambushed. If they’d listened to Sandstone and not messed with outsiders, maybe none of this would have happened. But that maybe wasn’t good enough. Everything was done now, and nothing would fix it. 

Sparrow’s impassive yellow and blue eyes met his one last time as the group left the camp. Tallpaw hoped Sparrow saw and felt all his burning hatred as he glared back at him. 

You can run away now. They’ll let you get away with it. They won’t punish you for what you’ve done. But I know. I know what kind of cat you are. If there’s any justice in the world at all, someone will make you pay for it. 

Sparrow quickly flicked his gaze away, and then he was gone.

chapter list / previous / next

[gaerli]

Overthinking and Worrying

[Hawks x GN!Reader]

--SPOILER WARNING--

[Hawks is concerned because Y/N isn't sleeping--]

It has been a while since Hawks stayed up late, as he always sleeps after 2-3 hours after arriving home, leaving you awake by yourself. You didn’t complain honestly, you loved seeing your fiancé sleeping peacefully curling up to you and you especially loved how he has this childish smile of comfort and safety while sleeping when you pet his head gently.

While the winged hero could sleep peacefully, you on the other hand had a hard time catching sleep, and this problem has been occurring for a while, however you did not want to worry him so you kept it to yourself. After all, this isn't the first time you go through this problem before. But how come you cannot sleep? Anxiety and the stress of everything weights on your shoulder during the nights. Overthinking and worrying very much for your fiancé takes its’ toll on you, leaving you with so much adrenaline of stress to be able to catch sleep. And how the media (and even villains) keeps an eye on you and Hawks isn’t helping your case either…however you were able to get a bit of sleep and the sleep deprivation wasn’t very visible on you…

This has been going on for a while, however after recent events and after Hawks told you about what the commission have been planning as he trusts you enough to tell you as he knows you would never utter a single word or be suspicious when someone asks about Hawks, though, let’s say this alone have kept you up at night. You can’t fantom the idea of how in the living heck does the hero commission throw your fiancé out in such a dangerous mission without a second thought. This lack of sleep problem of yours has gotten worse after the war incident and Hawks gotten badly hurt to the point of almost losing his wings and life in the process. 

Obviously the first weeks after Hawks was granted a long long hiatus from hero work to focus on his health was hard on both him and you. He kept waking up in cold sweat, tears and panic in his eyes and out of breath as he kept having nightmares of the fight with Dabi. When you asked him about what exactly went down, he couldn’t bring himself to say it which you respected and told him to tell you when he is ready. You kept being awake the first weeks for his sake, rarely caught sleep as not only your anxiety for his wellbeing is crash up the roof, but also you want to be ready whenever he was about to wake up in panic. This made your sleep deprivation even worse but you made sure to hide it as you wanted him and his wellbeing to be your priority #1.

After few weeks has passed, he has gotten better and he got the help he needed in order to deal with this borderline traumatizing event he went through and you were with him throughout the whole ordeal (he thanked whatever up there to have blessed him with someone like you in his life). However you on the other hand haven’t been able to get any sleep or any rest. And after a while it was nearly impossible to hide the sleep deprivation anymore as it was visible on you. Not to mention the fact that after Hawks managed to calm down from everything he did notice off stuff about you…

…he noticed that you barely have energy to continue with the day but keep pushing yourself as well as he is the first to sleep and last to wake up which proves his theory that you’re not sleeping.

He is concerned because you’re sleeping at all.

Hawks decided to confront you about this as now he is worried about your wellbeing. So while you two were cuddling in the couch, with him laying on your lap while you leaned against the couch cushion, he decided to ask you—

”Dove?”

”Mm?”

”When was the last time you’ve gotten a full 8 hour sleep?”

”…uh”

That question of his caught you off guard. How come he asks about your sleeping habit. This low-key made you nervous as you did not want to worry him with your problems-

”Ahah oh— w-w-well you see honey…I do get enough sle—”

”Don’t lie to me (Y/N), I know you well enough that when you begin to talk like this means you’re hiding something” he replied as he sat up and turned to around to face you, his face expression says it all. He is very concerned

”(Y/N)…dove…talk to me”

For some reason, the way he gently said that and the way he held your hands in his, looking into your eyes with love and care made you breakdown and cry which made the winged hero not hesitate to pull you into his embrace and hold you close. 

”I’m sorry dove…I can guess partly on the reason for the lack of sleep…” he said in a low voice, feeling guilty over the fact he made the love of his life this worry to the point of lack of sleep

”N-No honey, it i-isn’t only because of what happened to you” you managed to say, clutching to his shirt. After that you two didn’t say anything. Just you quietly sobbing onto Hawks chest while he held you close, not bothering hiding the pain he felt for seeing you in such state.

After a bit, you managed to calm down and Hawks handed you napkins to blow your nose while brushed away your tears.

”…during the night…I have a bad habit of overthinking and worrying to the point I can’t sleep” you said while looking down, feeling a bit embarrassed about talking about this as this is the first time in a long time that you actually talk about the sleeping problem.

”How come I did not know about this?” ”Because…I didn’t want to bother you Kei…”

His expression softened and he smiled gently, caressing your cheek affectionately.

”Dove…you would never bother me…I love you and I want to be by your side the same way you are by my side” Hawks said as he leaned to capture your lips in a gentle kiss, which you gladly returned.

”…Kei…I love you”

”I love you too (Y/N)…but we gotta find a way to help you get more sleep”

”B-But how?” You asked, genuinely not knowing how. Hawks thought for a bit until he thought of an idea

”I think I know how… you said you cannot sleep because of anxiety and worrying right?”

”And overthinking…s-sometimes” you said while looking aside a bit flustered

”Overthinking, right. So I wanna know, what exactly are you worrying and overthinking about to the point of not sleeping- is it nightmares?”

”N-no!! I barely get these nowadays b-but” you looked down, a bit too shy to say it out loud, but at this point, Hawks is your fiancé, you two should tell each other everything, including insecurities ’He gotta know…he needs to know…’ you took a deep breath, looking up at Hawks who was waiting for your answer attentively-

”I���feel like I am a huge burden to you…I see what the media is saying about our relationship and I know the villains are still after not only you but me- d-don’t get me wrong I don’t care most of the time!!—” You tried to explain yourself, but then looked down and continued ”—…but…I feel like I am an extra burden to you, I feel like I’m holding you back…I feel like the media and the villains are always keeping an extra eye on you because of me as they think I am your weakpo—” 

”You’re my weakpoint, as in I would do anything to keep you safe and alive!”

”R-Right. B-but yeah anyways” you continued ”I feel like I am holding you back and that I am an extra baggage that you need to deal with as the same time as you deal with your own shit” you sighed, taking a deep breath.

”Not to mention…how much I worry for your well being and how much the hero commission is pushing you beyond your limits and to the extreme…” you looked up at him with worry in your eyes ”Keigo I am worried about you and about your reputation”

Hawks was silent for a moment, taking in everything. He understands it all now.

”I see…(Y/N) I am so sorry I caus—” ”N-No Kei honey it is not your fault!!” You quickly reassured him to which he smiled gently to.

”I love you (Y/N) and I want you to know that you are never holding me back, you are never bothering me and I don’t give two shits about reputation or what the stupid hero commission wants from me. I am so sorry that I keep worry you tho, you don’t deserve to be sleep deprived over me but just you know—” he leaned close so that his forehead touches yours, smiling at you with love and affection in his eyes 

”—that I love you. So much dove, the fact that you worry for me means that you care about me and…just thank you, for everything”

You looked at him with a gentle smile yourself and chuckled a bit. 

”No need to thank me sweetheart. You are my everything”

He leaned to give you a kiss on the lips, filled with love and affection, a kiss worth thousands of words of love.

”Tonight (Y/N)…it is all about you” he said after you two pulled away from the kiss. ”Tonight…let me take care of you”

You smiled, a bit doozy after the kiss. You did not complain or protest against it. After all— when Hawks is being the big spoon and in charge, he knows how to make you feel comfortable and loved, safe and protected, tucked away from the cruel world in the bubble of love.

”Alright…” you said as Hawks stood up, carrying you bridal style up to your shared bedroom—

.

.

.

As you two are laying on the bed, with you laying on Hawks’ chest, his heart-beatings calms you down a lot, however before those thoughts even had the time to creep up into your head, Hawks began softly speak reassuring and loved filled words while gently running his fingers from your neck down to your back before caressing your head. 

”I’ve got you (Y/N)…I’ve got you” he managed to say which made you smile. Oh how lucky you are to have someone as loving as him in your life. However as soon as he began speak about how you two’s future will be after marrying and after creating the family you both want with each other and how much he is looking forward spending the rest of his life with you, you felt a feeling of happiness and joy within your heart. You’ve forgotten to even think of how you both will have your future with each other because of the negative overthinking. This felt so nice to hear and you even imagined how your and Hawks’ kids will look like and how the wedding will be.

Not gonna lie, this lulled you to sleep slowly and surely. You yawned a bit before snuggling closer into his chest with a dorky smile on your face. 

”Thank you Kei…I love you”

And soon, you found yourself drifting to sleep and not long after staring to snore a bit. When Hawks heard you snore a bit (which he adores by the way), a smile plastered on his face and leaned to kiss your head adjusting himself before cuddling you close and drifting to sleep himself.

”Good night dove…the love of my life”

To say you two had the best sleep that night is an understatement and for the first time in so long, you slept properly and long enough as well as—

—this was the best sleep you’ve ever had and it is all thanks to your birdman fiancé.

.

.

.

.

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AUTHOR NOTE: Hello!! This is my part of the collab with my friends at BNHA Sanctuary (btw, I love you all so much over there, dope ass people 100/10 I would forever protect). 

I also wanna apologize if Hawks is a bit OOC and I wanna apologize for my English and grammar errors as well as the inability to properly express the fic properly, English is not my first or second language and I am still learning it ahaha. *Sweats in Swedish* 

Anyways! Reader is gender-neutral here and I’m gonna try to be as inclusive as I can be. I based the events in this fic loosely on the manga and on what I went through back when I had a very bad case of insomnia, ahaha enjoy!! 

P.S-- please don’t hesitate to tell me how to improve as I am still working on being a better writer. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS ACCEPTED AND ENCOURAGED IN ORDER FOR ME TO PROVIDE BETTER CONTENT AND FICS FOR YOU GUYS!!

[og-danny-dorito]

[ Tanjiro Headcanons To Fuel The Fluff/Angst Tank ]

He Is Baby™ thank you very much and i love him with my whole heart

- hi hello i would like to share my thoughts on this baby cause i love him v much

- he gives me the vibe that he would def love anything strawberry related. like strawberry milk, strawberry shortcake, strawberry yogurt- the list goes ON

- he would eat them more often if they weren't so godamn expensive, and most of the time you can only find those kinds of products when in the city and he mostly travels through the woods rather than through heavily populated areas. he does get them when he can though, and usually has some stocked up when he and nezuko leave rural areas

- thats not the only fruit he likes though! hes also a huge fan of cherries but he gets those even less since they're even MORE expensive. he also very much likes mint chocolate chip icecream! something about the clash of dark chocolate and refreshing mint is just so good to him, and usually he’ll try to look for that specific flavor if theres any icecream places nearby. my basis for that?

- thankfully though he doesnt really buy things from others since he just gets most of his food from the surrounding forest. you see, tanjiro literally lived in the woodlands for most of his early life before the whole 'incident', so hes accustomed to being more of a hunter-gatherer when it comes to those sorts of things

- he knows a whole bunch of stuff about forest plants and topography for that reason specifically, and can make food out of pretty much nothing due to having to go through some rough winter times that required scavenging

- overall though hes a pretty good cook! his father and mother both liked to cook and bake and all that before they died, and, being eager to help and learn, he usually watched them when they did or asked to help with preparing the food

- he actually probably has a lot of domestic skills, now that i think about it. things like sewing up ripped clothing or repairing damaged items are almost muscle memory to him since he was raised to value what he had and not aimlessly spend his money due to his humble beginnings

- he’s actually more comfortable with simple things rather than lavish ones since thats what he grew up with. being a demon slayer means that he does get commissioned to do things sometimes or paid for it, but he usually gives most of his money to poeple who need it after spending some of what he has on more efficient and useful things like better fabric for clothes and repairs for things that he doesn't have the skill set to fix himself

- due to this humble attitude he has for things, he barely ever really treats himself to things he enjoys. he usually puts others before himself and thus forgets about his own needs, leading him to often deny taking care of himself if he deems to 'not have enough time' or 'not being important enough”

- usually forcing him to sit down and eat or at least take a moment to drink some tea can calm his nerves a ton, even if its only just for a second

- i'm pretty sure that his favorite drink is green tea (or strawberry milk), actually. its just so naturally calming and relaxing that he usually uses it as a staple for calming himself down or taking a breather from the stressful life he's lead so far

- for someone that barely takes care of himself hes awfully adamant about others taking acare of themselves. oh, you haven't slept in three days because of work? guess what you're going to sleep right now. no, dont Mention how he keeps moving even though he should be in bed because of a broken rib, your needs come first now go to sleep

- deeefinitely the mom friend type in more ways then one. its p obvious that he already takes care of Nezuko, Zenitsu and Inosuke as good friends of his, but hes kinda adamant on taking care of them almost like they're younger than him or something. this doesnt mean that they can’t take care of themselves of course, he just kinda feels the natural instinct to protect people he values if he can (mainly due to the fear that he’ll suddenly loose them without making it clear he cares about them first but we will unpack that suitcase LATER in the list)

-for that reason i can safely say that he's probably fantastic with kids because of his gentle nature. hes just so soft and pure that children naturally feel calm around him? its weird how like a baby will literally stop crying in a city full of people just because they saw tanjiro wave and smile at them and as SOON as hes out of eyesight they start crying again. also tanjiro holding a baby? you CANNOT tell me this man wouldnt softly sing some lullaby he remembers from his childhood to a child cradled in his arms, fast asleep. and the smile he gives to the person who finds him like that is BLINDING i cannot comprehend the purity-

-the EXACT same thing goes for animals. its straight up canon that he understands (to an extent) what birds are saying when they're chirping to one another, so its probably safe to assume that he might understand a little bit of what other animals may be saying when they communicate

- yet another effect of living in the forest most of his life and being way too observant at his age :p

- when dogs bark he responds to them out of instinct, knowing what they mean. when some pig just randomly snorts at him don't be surprised when he just says "oh, thank you!" in the most earnest tone possible because he probably knows what the animal said and is responding to it honestly. answering like he's pretending to know what it means would be dishonest, and thats too out of character for the sunshine boy

-its also gotta be mentioned that tanjiro physically rejects the concept of being dishonest. i swear to god I'm not making this up- when hes lying its so easy to tell because his face is physically rejecting the concept that hes not being sincere

-this goes for pretty much anything- he cant really blatantly lie without shifting in place or making a weird expression. its no expection that when asked about his feelings that he can barely keep a straight face by saying that he's "okay"

-theres just so much pent up grief and sorrow for so many things that its hard to really say that he's "just fine" or "alright" some days. the accumulation of trauma and guilt has lead up to this constant dread boiling in the pit of his stomach that he'll fail one day, and this would've been all for nothing

-he'll die one day without his goals being met, without Nezuko being healed, without his friends safe, without so many things that he thought he could fix that will eat him up until he fixes them. he doesn't have frequent depressive episodes all that often anymore since Sakonji helped him with that (kind of, it was kind of a group effort by his other superiors, the Pillars, too with some reassurance and advice since a good portion have Been There Done That with the survivor’s guilt and the like) in terms of teaching him how to meditate more frequently and search for positive outlets for his negative feelings. he helped him accept that it was okay to feel bad about it, but he couldn't give up, no matter what. because “What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?”

-and so he doesn't. he never gives up, on anything. he refuses to give up when his friends are in danger and the odds are against him, or when hes face to face with an eldritch demon who's been alive longer than the numbers he can count. tanjiro is incredibly persistent in his efforts, big or small, and makes a conscious decision every time to not abandon what he worked for because the phrase "What worth was your dream if you just gave up in the end?" motivates him to be better than who he was yesterday and try his best to reach his dreams

- because of this he's a heavy believer that most people can change. i say most because I'm pretty sure he knows Muzan will never change, or some of the other terrible people in the world. he's accepted over time that he can’t help everyone, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try his hardest in figuring ot if they are truly, genuinely, capable of being better. so he's incredibly supportive of people who actually do make efforts to improve themselves because he knows how hard it is to come from such a bad situation/bad mindset and reteach good values and habits

- that doesn't mean that poeple are expempt from their punishments of course- everyone deserves the consequences of their actions to be better to know what to improve on, but he has sympathy for the poeple who's consequences stop their lives short (example, countless demons that he feels terrible for because they came from really bad situations)

-since he knows how hard it is to improve on anything- he’s very very supportive to people who do that for themselves or for others. in fact, he would go out of his way for about anyone to make their life a little better but if he sees someone struggling their way to their personal best he'll happily be a help to them in any way that they can. oh, you were training really hard today and had no success in perfecting a certain technique? its alright, you can just lay down right now while he fixes your bath water and tomorrow he'll help you out with it in any way he can. hes the best cheerleader!

-overall tanjiro is very sweet and kind, even though he has personal problems with his own demons and feeling as if he's a burden most of the time. for all this suffering, he views the prosperity of the people around him worth it and is selfless to the end of the line for those whom he cares about

[ ~Thank You For Reading!~ ]

[brokenjardaantech]

Blue-tinted Red Walls (Chapter 8: Into No Man’s Land)

my entry for the @dbhau-bigbang. also part of the groom lake aftermath series.

summary:

In the past, Fadia and Reyes argued.

In the present, Connor finds a sanctuary from the most unexpected source.

In the past, Connie woke up.

also on ao3

content warning for your typical violence from both games. in short: guns and biotics and people getting wounded.

also, special thanks to @fanndamnedibals for drawing the amazing piece of art for this story. it’s really fucking cool.

---

Before

Fadia was greeted by a punch to her face. Her whole upper body swivelled from the inhuman force, but her lower body planted firmly on the floor still, and with a smooth swing, she stood straight as if the punch never occurred. 

‘What the fuck were you thinking?’ Reyes snarled. ‘Giving plans to Russia and China like that? What happened to me being in charge? What happened to androids being free? What happened -’

Fadia gave the other android a hard shove. ‘What else can I do?’ she yelled. ‘What do you understand about yourself? Do you even know what you’re capable of?’ A shake of her head. ‘Thanks to my father, CyberLife is now producing androids for the military for a price much cheaper than paying non-commissioned officers in the long run, and you think they won’t use it to secure their claim on the Arctic where all of earth’s thirium is? We need someone to keep them in check. China and Russia are the only answer.’

‘And enslaving more of us? More of my people? Pushing the world into war once more?’ the air crackled with static. ‘Have you ever considered anyone else apart from yourself?’

‘Watch your voice box, Reyes,’ Fadia took a step forward, her height letting her loom over the man. ‘You are standing here yelling at me because I care for my brother so cut the bullshit about me not caring. Look what caring did to you -’ indicated her metallic body - ‘to me -’ a wave of her arm - ‘and to the rest of the world. Listen,’ a thin layer of blue appeared between them, ‘just a quick walk around the garden. A farewell. Then I’ll go.’

‘“A farewell”? What is that supposed to mean?’

‘With luck, you won’t see me much for quite a long time. Years. A decade, even. There is something else that I’m… working on.’

‘Leaving a mess your own making behind now?’

‘My father made the mess!’ Fadia lit up. ‘And no, I’m not running away, but there are more important things to deal with right now. It will need my full attention, and I don’t want to leave without giving my brother closure.’ When Reyes’ hand moved towards the gun she knew was hidden underneath his shirt, she sighed. ‘Please. Do you want to see Scott asking where I am every day for the next ten years? Do you want him spending his days worrying about me?’

Reyes was still glaring at her, but at least he was not drawing his weapon. A few seconds of tense silence passed, and with a snap of his arm away from the gun, ‘What do you want to tell him?’ he said as he turned away from his creator, his expression filled with disgust. ‘I can… deliver the message for you.’

Fadia’s lips twitched downwards. ‘Must you?’

‘You wish to protect your brother, don’t you? Don’t you think he’ll be stressed out by your current state?’

‘My current -’

‘Your message,’ Reyes crowded into his creator’s personal space and managed to look imposing despite his height disadvantage, ‘or get the fuck out of here.’

Fadia looked at her first creation down her nose. ‘Tell him that I came to say hello and that it is perfectly normal from that point onwards if he cannot contact me. Tell him it may be years before he sees me again,’ a step back. The door swung open. ‘And it is your fault.’

‘Hold the fuck on -’

A crackle of blue, a flash of dark energy, a faint trail of dissipating tendrils. Sara Fadia Ryder was gone, leaving her creation standing at the door with a hand outreached hopelessly with nothing but thin air in his grasp.

o0o0o

Now

Streets unsafe for androids. Sanctuary at these coordinates. Will deliver supplies to said location as soon as possible. I’m sorry.

The world has become a blur. Hank’s house, receiving the message, decoding the message for Hank, changing into another set of clothes, getting into Hank’s car, and they are off to the docks before they even know what is happening. The androids led by Markus marched. People - androids - were killed. CyberLife is setting up ‘recycling centres’ to recall all androids in the city and around the country with the help of the police and military. They have to act now or they will be trapped by one of the many checkpoints popping up in the streets. Everything, as Hank says, has gone to shit.

Are you going to be fine? Connor texts. I doubt you will be carrying out your orders.

I told my men they have the choice to leave and everything will be on me. If they’re staying, they’re staying on my side. On the android’s side.

And their response?

They’re packing up right now and I’m making sure that nothing will get to them.

How about you?

Meet me there. Hopefully. Vouch for a fleshy human later, can you? I’ll be bringing whatever I can.

Absolutely.

Good.

They arrive at Ferndale after what seems like hours later, Hank stopping a few blocks away from the water in order to not arouse suspicion even though the area is deserted, but Connor’s scans reveal stray patches of evaporated thirium on the floor, which means that injured androids have been here… a few hours ago. 

Hank turns around. ‘Think I should stop here.’ He cocks his head at the area at large. ‘Go on. I won’t leave until you’re out of my sight.’

The image is not comforting enough. ‘Come with us,’ Connor begs. ‘We need you here.’

The human shakes his head. ‘I can’t. Someone has to keep up appearances at the precinct. Besides, Jeff seems to have something to say. I’ll give you an update later when he’s finished yelling at me.’

It makes sense in some ways. Splitting up, gathering information from both ends, and then creating a better plan to save all of them. Simple; at least, it should be. But he also has been with Hank for such a long time - most of his time on earth, really - that it will be strange to be alone with a much slower counterpart of himself in tow. It will be a challenge.

It is also their only chance.

‘I understand,’ he forces out of his voice box, and he opens the door and steps out of the car into the snow before walking around to help Connie get out. What surprises him, however, is that Hank steps out as well and draws Connor into a tight hug.

‘Come back,’ the human says, to me, he doesn’t say, but Connor hears it anyway, and he wraps his arms as much as he can around Hank’s body and squeezes, a silent ‘I will’ that he hopes that his partner understands. ‘I will fight like there is no tomorrow to go back to your side,’ Connor confesses as he catalogues everything there is about Hank, his smell, his proportion, his warmth, because it seems that things are going that way and he wants him to be the last thing he recalls when - when -

‘-nor, look at me.’

Hank’s hand is on his cheek already when Connor looks up. They are so close that Connor can distinguish the shape of each and every single one of the snowflakes in the human’s hair, his brows, his eyelashes, and he can feel every single valley and spur on Hank’s finger that uniquely corresponds to Hank as he brushes his thumb against where Connor’s cheekbone would be had he been human. ‘Most advanced prototype, remember?’ the human says, still holding Connor tight. ‘If there’s someone who can make it out alive, it’s you. I have faith in you.’

‘I -’ you shouldn’t. ‘All I’ve ever done is failing my missions.’

‘To save lives, I know,’ the hand on his cheek moves to the back of his neck. Connor shivers from the warmth. ‘No matter which colour we bleed.’

‘I -’

Thank you. For everything. For making me realise that I’m more than my programming. For being there even though you didn’t understand what was happening.

There is so much he wants to say but can’t due to the sheer amount of information filtering through his processors, but one thing is certain: they all advise him to throw caution to the wind. As if having the exact same thoughts, Hank leans his head forward at the same time, and they meet halfway through in a desperate kiss, a rough press of lips against lips that is all over too soon but conveying enough emotions to each other that they both deflate when they part, the tension in their body suddenly gone now that they are resigned to their fate. 

‘We’ll talk about this,’ Hank warns, but there is no malice in his tone. Come back alive.

Connor has to break their gaze and hook his head on the human’s shoulder or he’ll never get his words out. ‘You stay safe too.’

A large hand on his back, Connor’s thick, season-appropriate attire ridding him of the last human warmth he may get to feel. ‘I will.’

They finally pull apart. A hand that doesn’t belong to Hank brushes Connor’s arm, and that is when he remembers that Connie is here; as if seeing her expectant expression, Hank hugs her as well completely unaware of how close to tears the other android is. Connor moves to hold her hand. ‘Let’s go,’ he tells her, because someone has to be the more responsible one between the two, and they walk away hand in hand together towards the coordinates Louis gave them without a glance backwards.

oOoOo

Jericho. Cargo freighter. Abandoned ship. A sanctuary for deviants old and new, the latter far outnumbering the rest due to Markus’ actions. The bombs on stand by scattered around the place indicate that the freighter is rigged, but no one seems to care; there is a cluster of androids on one side where a holo is recycling the news, another on the other side checking and modding weapons on improvised benches, and another group sitting at a long table working on laptops still in their suitcases. No one seems to have noticed them, which is good considering his previous… reputation as a deviant hunter (even though he didn’t do a very good job at it); he can withstand cold looks and harsh words hauled at him, but Connie is innocent here, and he doesn't want her to suffer any more abuse.

He receives a notification from their intertwined hands that his sister’s internal temperature is falling below recommended levels, so he scans his surroundings, noting the broken grids and - there, a fire contained in a rusted metal barrel surrounded by a sitting area created from stacked-up crates. He spots what seems to be an improvised medical bay where broken androids are being repaired and thought of asking for some thirium for Connie, but from what he can see, the androids under repair are all in much worse shape than his sister, so all he does is giving Connie a quiet reassurance and… waits while he recalls what he just saw. Rupert. The Tracis. Other newly-deviated androids still in their uniform. It’s a miracle that he and Connie don't get spotted.

The drowsiness from the other side of the shallow interface plus the weight on his shoulder indicates that Connie has fallen asleep once more, and with no one to help take care of her, Connor can only sit there and do -

Wait.

His free hand reaches into his pocket and fishes out a coin. It is not the one he is familiar with, but it makes for a good replacement after only a few tries, and soon enough he has it spinning on the tips of his fingers despite the gloves and low temperature and is using it to ignore the dropping thirium level warning from his sister’s HUD. It can be that he is distracted. It can be Connie’s fatigue getting into him. It can be the flickering light from the fire creating shadows that were not there some time ago. It can be that he is in a bubble; to him, nothing else apart from Connie matters.

All he knows when he lets the coin fall onto his palm and looks up is that Markus has been sitting there in front of them for quite a long time. He tenses, knowing that his cover is blown, and he knows that his fate is in the deviant leader’s hands.

‘You deviated,’ the RK200 states. It is not a question.

‘How do you know?’

‘A human contact passed the news to me through an android he rescued and asked us to not view you with suspicion. He goes by the name Lee Aaron, but it is, of course, not his real name. I believe you’ll have the chance to thank him later in person.’

Connor really needs to give Louis a hug. ‘I see.’

Markus indicates Connie with a slight jerk of his head. ‘And this one?’

There is only one answer. ‘My sister.’

The deviant leader raises an eyebrow. ‘Do I even want to know?’

Connor thinks of his creator, the way she kicked them out, the way she doesn't seem to care about their lives, how she seems to be on their side but let them die for the last ten years. ‘Later. It’s a long story.’

Markus studies Connie for a few seconds. ‘It’s still early,’ he says. ‘You can still leave the country by bus before curfew starts. One of our people used to work in the state department, and I can have modified electronic passports delivered to you.’

[Thirium level: 37%] flashes in front of Connor’s HUD. ‘We are under no condition to travel,’ We, more like Connie, but I will not abandon her. ‘The military has set up multiple checkpoints around the city for temperature checks. I doubt it is safe for us to go outside now, but thank you, for offering.’

Jericho’s leader nods in understanding. ‘Is there anything you need? Biocomponents, blue blood, systems checks?’

[Thirium level: 37%]. So why is he hesitating? ‘My sister… her blue blood level is extremely low,’ he admits. ‘It is currently at thirty-seven per cent, far too little for her to function normally.’

Markus looks horrified. ‘rA9, Connor, why didn’t you tell someone when you came?’ he shoots up from his seat as if forgetting that he can remotely send a message to the medics to call for some thirium. ‘I’ll get some for you. Stay here.’

‘You don’t have to -’

‘You’re one of us now,’ a firm hand on Connor’s shoulder prevents him from standing up. ‘We help each other out whenever we can and right now your sister needs it. We’re rationing our supplies, but I think we can spare a bottle. It will last until Lee arrives.’

Connor lets out a breath he doesn’t know he has been holding and puts as much gratitude as he can into his voice as possible when he thanks Markus, but the other RK-series prototype merely waves and places a firm hand on his shoulder, silencing him and, through a shallow interface, telling him to rouse Connie first. He brushes a lock of her hair back into her beanie, and her eyes flutter open in confusion.

We are in Jericho, remember? he reminds her. Markus is getting you some thirium. You will feel better very soon.

Connie sends back a vague affirmative and takes off her beanie with a frown. ‘No hat,’ she mutters as she clumsily shoves the piece of cloth into her pocket. ‘Not anymore.’

Connor can pre-construct all the ways she can lose what little heat she generates. ‘It is to prevent you from losing body heat.’

She shakes her head, her braid falling apart. ‘No hat.’

An overwhelming wave of discomfort washes through him and yes, he would rather sacrifice his body heat to avoid the pain as well, so he lets it be for now and adds [Find a new hat for Connie] into his increasing list of optional tasks that, judging from the constant drone of the news from the floor above, he may or may not be able to finish in the near future. 

Markus returns with half a bottle of thirium and holds it in front of Connie, but all she does is staring at it instead of taking it; from their interface, Connor feels her processor (yes, somehow Ryder stripped all processing units but one from his sister’s body) straining itself to comprehend the other android’s action. ‘It’s for you,’ the deviant leader explains, and it is after an entire minute of processing that Connie slowly reaches out and takes the bottle with both hands. 

‘Thank you,’ she says. Then holds the bottle on her lap without doing anything else.

Connor accepts the link request. Is she alright? Markus asks. She seems… unwell.

Connor partitions part of his focus to the chat and diverts the rest to helping his sister. Sara Ryder modified her after retrieving my - the body, he says as he guides the bottle of thirium to Connie’s lips. Her processing power is incapable of computing large amounts of information. The liquid rolls and slides into Connie’s mouth. I intend to ask our creator about the full extent of the modification once this is over.

You didn’t ask her?

Connor recalls the power he felt radiating from Ryder. We could either leave unharmed or become dust rolling across the floor of her living room. We chose to live.

It is understandable, Markus nods. In reality, Connie seems to understand what the item in her hand is for and finally starts drinking without her brother’s aid. I’ve had… the displeasure of meeting her a few times. My… father - he doesn’t like her much. 

Connor thinks of the entire family, how Alec Ryder tried to flush his knowledge about his powers away, how Sara Ryder modified Connie and left her to suffer. A family trait, he replies, and it makes Markus chuckle. He opens his mouth as if to say something but seems to be distracted by something else. 

‘There are some issues I need to take care of,’ he said in the end. ‘Return the bottle to the med bay if you can.’

He leaves. A drop of thirium escapes Connie’s lips and rolls down her chin, and he wipes it away with the corner of his sleeve while adjusting his reception frequency into that matching the other androids’ channel just to find himself being flooded by information concentrating on ‘a human’, ‘supplies’, and, most disturbingly, ‘illegal weapons’.

He is an ally, Markus’ voice cuts through the chaos, and everything dies down. 

oOoOo

The precinct is still bustling with activity when Louis goes in under Hank’s request and in a bad way: the drizzle of rain before the wind picks up and a storm rolls in. He can tell that people are on edge from either the revolution or even civil war brewing at the horizon or, for those who have decided to stay, worrying about their loved one’s safety. One example is - Detective Gavin Reed, his nameplate reads - who is shouting into his phone with a voice loud enough for everyone to hear if he had been the only one talking. But right now, in the chaos of the office he rarely steps into, Louis can strain his ear and barely make out the details, his heart thumping from the familiar name on the call.

‘Cut that shit, Eli! You can’t tell me what to do!’ Reed yells. ‘You’ve got your duty, I’ve got mine, and right now I’m fucking staying in this motherfucking shithole. You understand me?’ An eye roll, then his eyes snap towards the direction of the entrance where a man who obviously doesn’t work in the force walks in. Everyone assumes that he is one of theirs, though, and he - probably Eli - manages to reach Reed without much resistance.

‘Gav, listen,’ he raises his hands in front of him as Reed pokes the screen of his phone so hard that Louis wouldn’t be surprised had it broken, ‘remember what I’ve told you? About me? Who I work for?’

‘What about -’ Louis can’t see Eli’s expression from this angle, but it must have shut Reed up. ‘Shit.’

‘Quite,’ Eli says drily. Then his voice softens. ‘Please, Gavin, I just want us to get out of this alive. Together.’

He tones out the rest of the conversation and instead focuses on the task at hand. An encrypted diary and a hollow statue. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Hank’s credentials are easy to guess, and he flinches when the evidence locker unfolds to reveal androids strung up like pieces of meat. He focuses on what he wants instead and quickly grabs both items Hank told him that can lead the FBI to Jericho because of course the first thing androids do after gaining sentience is worshipping a god and writing down the address of their secret hideout and -

‘What is a SWAT Captain doing here?’

He turns. Sees Eli standing at the door. Remembers the two empty spaces where the evidence he took should be. A flash of a long-forgotten memory: an interrupted project, a team gone missing, one last goodbye.

I know him.

‘I remember you,’ negotiate first, use force only when necessary. ‘You used to work with my sister. How did you get in here?’

‘Police departments around the world have… questionable security measures compared to the people I am working for,’ Eli - Ilya - Louis doesn’t know anymore - taps his watch. ‘Quite easy to break into, really. Now, what did you take?’

‘All evidence I’ve retrieved are under Lieutenant Hank Anderson’s orders,’ sorry, Hank. ‘You can ask him for confirmation.’

‘No need to be hostile,’ his tone is still condescending, and Louis feels his nerves tingle from both his emotions and the man in front of him. Fuck. Does that mean he’s like him as well? ‘If I were here for you, I would’ve subdued you a long time ago, wouldn’t I?’

Louis is still not convinced. ‘The hell do you want?’

‘I don’t have much time,’ Eli/Ilya takes out a… thing that seems to have materialised from his sleeve. ‘If you’re doing what I think you’re doing, you’ll need this later.’

Louis warily approaches the other man. ‘What does it do?’

‘It syncs with your nervous system. More specifically, the biotic nodes - both natural and artificial - in your entire body which are part of your nervous system. An amplifier, as we call it informally. Gives you a boost in a fight. Gets you out of tight places.’

‘How do I know you’re genuine?’

‘Me and your sister drifted apart a few years ago,’ hold on, a few years ago? Does it mean - ‘It doesn’t mean I want to hurt innocent people - android or human. I’d hardly want her to throw a fit after knowing that you died being shot at by the US military.’

But Louis isn’t quite listening anymore. ‘Hold on,’ he says even as he shoves the device into his pocket. ‘Anna is alive?’

‘We have little time left,’ the other man doesn’t seem to have heard his question. ‘It’s a matter of time for the FBI to find where the deviants are hiding. If you want to get to them, better do it quickly. Preferably armed.’

Louis gives Eli/Ilya one last sweep, memorising his features, his measurement, his clothing, everything that he can notice right now so that - ‘We’ll talk later.’

‘Get out alive first.’

He doesn’t allow himself to think as he methodically packs up, drives back home, refills the food and water dispensers for the cats in case he’ll be away for a long time, drives to the safehouse - deserted because not long ago the military just marched through and searched door to door for androids - to retrieve all the supplies he can carry - thirium, printers, guns, and finally brings himself to Jericho where he hopefully won’t get gunned down on his first step into the cargo freighter for being human. He taps into his powers - just in case - and hooks the amplifier over his ear.

He doesn’t know if it’s the energy or the power or just that there are so many androids in Jericho, but he manages to reach the heart of the freighter relatively undetected. Connor and his sister are probably among the clusters of androids downstairs, but first, he needs to have a word with the leader of the deviants.

‘Human.’

He gets surrounded by what must be a dozen androids in less than a second, the LEDs on their temples - for those who keep theirs, that is - spinning yellow while they communicate silently through their channels. He follows their line of sight and there it is, his borderline-illegal, modded-to-hell rifle that he gets away from carrying openly only because he is a SWAT Captain, and he starts regretting his decision to bring it out in the open to deter the military.

The androids in front of him part like Moses splitting the Red Sea in half, Markus emerging with quickened steps and standing in front of him in an instant. Piercing eyes - one blue, one green - scans him from head to toe despite Louis being pretty sure that it’s just for show, and when their eyes meet, he decides to slide the duffel bag containing the printers and thirium down his shoulder and holds it towards the deviant leader with straining arms. ‘I brought supplies,’ he explains, feeling dumb. ‘Scan my bags if you don’t believe me.’ 

Markus’ eyes don’t move but Louis feels him scanning the contents of his luggage anyway. He doesn’t move at all, but then two androids emerge from the crowd to take the bags downstairs. ‘You are expected,’ he says. Then, gesturing the rifle on his back and the other weapons Louis hid underneath his clothes, ‘Not very discreet, aren’t you?’

The other androids file away, their anxious chatter having nothing to do with what he knows will come. ‘It gets the message through without words,’ Louis replies as he fidgets with the strap of his rifle in front of his chest. ‘I’m on a time limit here.’

‘For what?’

‘The FBI is coming. You have about one hour and a half to evacuate.’

And then everything becomes a blur.

oOoOo

FBI. Evacuating Jericho. Blowing up Jericho. Staying in Jericho to defend the last evacuees. People leave in groups of no less than three, taking crates, supplies, and, sometimes, injured companions away from the failing cargo freighter. Some, like Lucy, volunteered to stay despite being recommended to leave first, and some left with the friends they had made during these few eventful days. Holding Connie tight against his side with her hand in his grip and the shallow interface between them the only thing keeping her functional, Connor is torn between sending her away to safety without him, going with her to their next sanctuary, or forcing her to stay with him and face the dangers of potential firefights and massacres. He can tell from her panicked shiver and the way she tugs herself underneath his arm that she does not want to go at all and neither does he, but he doesn’t know if he can live with it if she died because of him.

Someone kneels in front of him, and when his eyes focus, Louis’ face comes into view. ‘Josh is leading the last outbound group. The rest of us are staying in case the FBI came before all of us can go.’

‘So Connie can come with us?’

Louis checks his watch. ‘If you want her to be safe, no,’ he rearranges his limbs so that he is sitting cross-legged on the floor. ‘We’re expecting confrontation very soon, maybe in a few minutes. We need to move now or else we might risk getting her in the crossfire, glowy blue superpowers or no.’

He doesn’t move from where he’s sitting on the floor. Connor watches his sister pout and her eyes water, but to his surprise, she nearly slaps his arm around her shoulders away and stands up on her own. Louis stands up as well, adjusting the rifle on his back by its strap, and leads her away presumably to Markus’ lieutenant. It leaves a large gap in Connor’s mind. 

oOoOo

Louis feels the hair on the back of his neck stand up before the rumble even starts.

‘Hurry,’ he transfers Connor’s sister from his arm to Josh’s. ‘They’re coming.’

‘What?’ the android has the nerve to look confused. ‘But don’t we -’

‘Just go!’ he can feel the full weight of all the shit he’s stowed on his body as he takes a step back, all the spare ammo and the four pistols and the submachine gun he somehow manages to keep underneath his winter clothes. Here’s to hoping that his powers are enough to keep him afloat. ‘We’ll catch up with you.’

He runs, feeling the shift of the small packages of thirium he left for himself in case he is trapped and needs to fight his way through, and it’s about thirty seconds later that he nearly slams into Connor who just turned the corner. ‘They’re coming from all sides,’ he says as he reloads his pistol. ‘Markus is detonating the charge in the hold. We need to find an exit and jump in the river.’

‘And the others?’ Louis knows they shouldn’t be standing there but he needs to know. The implication of jumping into freezing water in winter… surprisingly doesn’t scare him as much as it should. ‘Are they jumping too?’

‘North is leading them. I’m just here to find you.’

He doesn’t exactly have a choice now, does he? ‘Lead the way.’

He pulls his scarf over his nose and runs.

oOoOo

‘Hostiles sighted. Preparing to engage.’

Louis is pulled behind one of those watertight doors before he even registers the movement, and the next thing he knows Connor is dashing out of cover and immediately gets shot. Letting his instincts take over his body, a shield of blue tendrils shoots out of his hand and fixes itself in front of the android before he rushes out while slinging his rifle onto his shoulder and drags him as far as he can away from the soldiers by walking backwards, and as he feels the fabric in his grip twist and bend, he wonders if the soldiers pick up his face with the built-in tech in their helmets. Their facelessness does give Louis an advantage, however, because he feels no qualms about creating a blue sphere of energy in his free hand and lobbing it towards the shield, causing it to explode in a boom of bright blue mist. He also forces himself to not think too much about the horrible screech of rusted metal before the corridor collapses behind him as he drags Connor into another empty room to examine the wound.

‘You alright?’ he asks. The wound on the android’s shoulder doesn’t seem to be bleeding, but he knows it is an illusion created by the many layers Connor is wearing right now; of all he knows, the android can be soaking his innermost shirt. ‘How long until your self-repair kicks in?’

‘A few seconds,’ Connor’s jaw is tight when he uses Louis’ shoulder as leverage to stand up. ‘It will not heal properly until I have sufficient thirium in my systems. We have to go.’

‘Will the water get in?’

‘Not if I give my chassis priority.’ Connor freezes for a blink of an eye, the only indicator that he is scanning his surroundings now that his LED is hidden beneath his beanie. ‘We are safe for now.’

Louis steps outside first this time, his protective barrier tinting his world blue. The corridor smells of static and the unique smell of a mix of his powers and rusted metal, and they don’t run this time, Louis needing to concentrate on always keeping his powers on hand so that he can react as quickly as possible in case they got ambushed again and Connor distracted by both constantly scanning their surroundings and mending the gaping hole on his shoulder. They run into a few stray pairs of soldiers on their way, but nothing cannot be taken care of by sneaking away or catching them unaware with a stasis field. 

He is almost frightened by how easily he accepts his powers as his main source of offence and defence and uses it on people with no regrets.

‘Connor! Lou! You’re alive!’

They round a corner and are greeted by Simon and North. Both of them appear unharmed and North doesn’t look too happy that Louis is there, but one look from Simon is enough to urge all of them to run towards the exit on their deck, hurdling over collapsed walls and doors and leaping over gaps on the floor as quickly and smoothly as they can to get out of the place as soon as possible - and to outrun the footsteps behind them.

North takes the risk to look backwards. ‘Markus!’

Before Louis can turn to greet him, he hears gunshots and a surprised groan from Markus as he turns and discovers the leader of the deviants on the floor with two bleeding wounds on his back. The lights hum and go out, and they are left with the dim, far-away lamps mounted on the soldiers’ rifles as their only source of light. The rumble of helicopters outside seems so close now.

‘Markus!’ comes the panicked cry from Simon, and Louis raises his arm just in time to push him back to let Connor do his job. ‘Stay back,’ Louis says. ‘Let us handle this.’

He lobs a sphere of blue towards the soldier shooting at the two androids as the prototype slings Markus’ arm around his shoulders and starts limping towards the exit, knocking them into the wall with a thrum that resonates in the entire corridor. From the light of their rifles, two more soldiers join their still-standing comrades, and he knows he needs to up his game to be able to fight them all at once; instead of suspending them in stasis fields or using the old-school spheres, he swings his arm upward with his palm to launch an unending chain of explosive tendrils that tears through the soldiers, lifting them off their feet and illuminating the rest of the corridor with blinding blue light. Their position exposed, Louis cuts off the shockwave chain and lets it fizzle and dissipate behind him and runs with the others towards the exit as he shrouds himself in blue to protect himself from the freezing water.

More gunshots and shells hitting the ground. A ‘Run! Quick! Come on!’ from Markus. Louis leaps.

Everything beyond his barrier goes dark.

o0o0o

Before

The remodelling was going well. The new programmes had all taken root in 51’s system, the body modifications were adapting to the original biocomponents and responding to the new system, and her vitals were steady if less satisfactory than what Ryder expected. Whatever. Her task was complete. This stage of her experiment was a success.

Deactivating the skin on her hand, she placed it on the other android’s shoulder and woke her up, 51’s skin rippling and flickering as the sudden increase in power usage. It stayed that way as she blinked her eyes open, and her mouth opened and closed as if she had something to say but couldn’t.

‘RK800, register name: Connie.’

51 - Connie - shivered.

Perfect.

---

the art!

link: https://www.deviantart.com/coakesam/art/DBHAUBB-2021-877769882

[organiclifestylemagazine]

How I Fixed my Knee Pain

At 18, when I weighed more than 300 pounds, in a momentary lapse of judgment I decided to ride an electric scooter through downtown Atlanta. This did not end well for me. I hurt my knee so badly I couldn’t walk on my own, I needed crutches. By the time I could walk on my own it was painful to stand up. I was sitting down all the time. The injury took months to heal. I was out of work for more than a week. When I got back into work the job had become very difficult. Walking up and down the stairs and chasing the kids was agonizing.

A few months later I moved in with my father, and I started exercising and eating right. Today, my knee pain is almost gone, but not completely. When I do feel knee pain it’s the first indication that I am not taking proper care of myself as well as I need to. I feel it when I eat restaurant food (even the healthiest), or anything processed. I feel it if I eat corn or wheat. I feel it if I don’t have my daily salads. It keeps me on track.

My knee keeps getting better and better. What I am doing is working. I am now sharing it with you. This is how I lost 150 pounds and fixed me knee:

Strength exercises

Squats were instrumental in building up the strength in my knee. Squats are generally one of the most beneficial exercises you can do to improve mobility and bodily function. They mimic natural movement that we used to do in nature. We used to squat to use the bathroom, to harvest food, to hunt, to stay inconspicuous, to simply take a break, etc.

My knee would pop a lot when I first started doing jiujitsu, 6 months ago, and usually popping made it very sore. Every time it got sore it felt as if it got a little stronger.

Running also helped. Being active in general promotes healing and is usually the best way to heal an injury. I use Vibram Fivefinger shoes. I used to have flat feet that would exacerbate the knee pain, but they have strengthened into healthy arches. I think this is in large part due to running in the Fivefinger shoes. Flat feet cause the knees to buckle which causes the hips to become out of alignment.

Related: Running Without Knee Pain

My Workout routine

I work out intensely every day. I run a mile, weight lift and do bodyweight exercises for between 30-45 minutes, and train Brazilian jiujitsu for about three-five hours a day. This wasn’t always the case though. Prior to my knee injury, I was not active at all, and for months after my knee injury, I couldn’t so much as walk up the stairs without feeling discomfort, let alone workout.

When I did start working out, I ran into problems. I wasn’t able to squat as low as I wanted to, and when I ran my knee was extremely sore. While my knee tried to heal, the arches of my feet would both go out of place giving me problems when I ran or even walked. One of my arches was so flat my shoes were two totally different shapes after I wore them in. As I tried to fix that problem, my right hip (the hip of my injured knee) would continue to go in and out leaving me with an uncomfortable pinching feeling in my hip.

Supplements

I use deep tissue on my knee to promote healing when it gets sore, or when it pops.

I also take B vitamins and vitamin D to help with soreness.

Thyroid issues

From years of antibiotics and other prescriptions, I developed thyroid problems in the form of constant chronic neck pain, amongst other things. The thyroid problems got radically better so much so that I didn’t even notice them for months. When I began doing jiu-jitsu they showed up again. My neck is often sore or stiff from training and on bad days I’ll develop a headache. When I started training more intensely (multiple classes a day) my endocrine system would crash, physically unable to keep up with my workload due to a weak thyroid. I would become extremely nauseous and fatigued and would often throw up. These crashes would put me out of commission for as long as three days at their worst. My thyroid continues to get stronger, and I take glandular supplements on a daily basis to help build a stronger thyroid and prevent crashes.

Related: Holistic Guide to Healing the Endocrine System and Balancing Our Hormones

Diet

Diet is always the most important part of healing and recovery. No refined sugar, no gluten, nothing inflammatory. Lots and lots of vegetables, grains, and legumes. I eat salads every day (recipes).

I cook all my own from scratch, everything minimally processed and as natural as possible. When I buy food from the grocery store I look for food with as few ingredients listed as possible. When you’re trying to get well don’t trust anyone else to cook your food, not a company, not a restaurant, not other friends and family.

If you’re interested in learning more about how I eat, check out these articles.

Related: How To Heal Your Gut 

Sleep

In order to allow my body the time it needs to heal I have to get at least eight hours of sleep a night. I generally average closer to nine, or ten hours a night though with how much I work out. Sleep and diet go hand in hand. It’s impossible to be in perfect health if you’re not consistently getting enough sleep each night, but in turn, it can be difficult to get quality sleep without a healthy diet.

Fixing my diet was the most instrumental part of fixing my sleep. After fixing my diet, I had to develop a routine for sleep. Picking your wake-up time is easier than picking your bedtime. Decide when you want to wake up each morning and stick to it. For me waking up at a certain time made it easier to assure I was going to bed at a certain time.

As we’ve all heard before, you should avoid using your phone right before bed. I’m bad about this, but what I do that I highly recommend is programming your phone to go on do not disturb every night before your bedtime. My phone goes on do not disturb at 10, and I’m asleep by 10:30 at the latest, but usually by 10, I’m already laying down in bed.

Related: How To Detoxify and Heal From Vaccinations – For Adults and Children

Injury prevention and recovery

One injury in one area affects more than just that one area! I learned that my weak thyroid causes flat feet, which cause one’s knees to buckle, making me more susceptible to knee injuries and making it very difficult to heal! My knee has caused hip problems and problems with the arches of my feet. Be willing to work in areas beyond just what’s injured and see how being in tune with the whole body can make a big difference.

Many people don’t understand all the areas in which a healthy diet benefits you. People still think too much of your health is left up to chance. Someone who eats a healthy diet is less prone to injury and takes less time to recover when they do get injured. A healthy diet makes for stronger bones, a more resilient body. I cannot stress this enough, you are what you eat. The old saying reigns true to a degree most people don’t realize.

One of the most important parts of healing and recovery is knowing your body. This comes with eating right and taking care of yourself. If you constantly provide your body with the right stuff, it lets you know what it needs. Rest is important. Often times we don’t need nearly as much recovery time as we think, but it’s still important to take time to figure out what you need.

Please keep in mind that if you’re on a weight loss journey that isn’t finished yet and you’re ramping up your workout routine you are likely going to run into problems other people won’t. They may be insignificant. Your back may be a little sorer, the arches of your feet may have a hard time staying in place properly, but with the proper diet, you can make it out the other end stronger than most. Be patient. Some of these problems can take months or years to completely fix.

I’ve lost 160 pounds and I’m healthier than most anyone I know, but I still run into problems I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been heavy and if I didn’t still have a few pounds to lose.

How I Fixed my Knee Pain was originally published on Organic Lifestyle Magazine

[calliecat93]

Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: The Little Mermaid

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty)

By the time of 1989, The Walt Disney Company was in it’s Dark Age. Walt had passed, the Nine Old Men were retiring, and their films were viewed as jokes. The Dark Age tends to get what I feel is an overly harsh reputation, but that’s not what we’re here for. The cold hard truth is Disney was a shadow of its former self. Their films just weren’t getting the same praise as they once did, and now with Don Bluth gaining success, with films like An American Tale and The Land Before Time, they weren’t even the top studio anymore. Their lowest point was the colossal failure of The Black Cauldron and while films like The Great Mouse Detective earned some praise, it was just never enough. They’d start getting some steam with Who Framed Roger Rabbit? but considering that they commissioned Richard William’s studio in England over Disney’s own animation studio, it seemed that even the company itself was losing faith in their own talents.

That all changed, however, with the release of their 28th animated feature. This would be the film that changed everything. It brought Disney back into prominence after years of being laughing stocks. It would enter the animation medium into its Renaissance, a time still fondly remembered by many. And for the purposes of this series, it is the film that both resurrected and revitalized the Disney Princess franchise. All of this would be due to 1989’s The Little Mermaid.

Overview

Ariel is a mermaid, but she dreams of one day being able to be part of the human world. Always collecting whatever surface world treasures she can find, to her father’s disapproval, Ariel one day stumbles upon a ship celebrating the birthday of the handsome Prince Eric. It’s love at first sight, but as he is a human, her father King Triton reacts negatively. Hurt, Ariel goes to the sea witch Ursula, who grants her human legs at the cost of her voice. To remain human, Ariel has three days to get Eric to fall in love with her and kiss her. But Ursula has her own wicked plans for Ariel, plans that will endanger both land and sea. Will Ariel be able to get Eric to fall in love with her and become part of his world? Or will Ursula triumph?

Review

I have been waiting for this day for SO LONG. Do you want to know why I decided to do this series, to begin with? Aside from 2020 driving me to insanity? It’s because while the complaints against the Disney Princesses in general have frustrated me for as long as I can remember, there were two in particular that always made my blood boil because they made no sense. Cinderella was the first one, which I already covered. The other? Ariel. I think you all know what I’m referring to here, but let’s put a pin in it for now. We have a LOT to discuss before we get to analyzing Ariel herself. First, let's go over the film.

The film is based on the story of the same name by Hans Christian Anderson. Walt himself had actually planned it long before, but sadly was never able to make it a reality. When the directors pitched it, at first it was denied due to Disney having already releasing a mermaid film called Splash not too long ago. But it was allowed to continue to be worked on as a future project and after a great deal of tweaking, expansion, and reworking, it was approved as a feature film to come out after Oliver and Company. There were a LOT of changes from the original story. The sea witch went from neutral to the villain, characters were expanded and added, and of course the story of unrequited love that ended with the little mermaid committing suicide was thrown out all together. A lot of the story basis was still there, but Disney was taking it and making it their own arguably even moreso than with the Classic Three.

The animation is fantastic. Many of the films prior like The Rescuers and Oliver and Company, while they looked nice, had this… roughness to it. I mean they were outright recycling animation for a good while, with Robin Hood being the biggest example. But the animation here is some of the nicest, most fluid that they’ve had in quite a long time. It’s colorful, expressive, and grand in feel. This is especially true with the musical numbers. I mean Under the Sea has SO much going on, and it is a true spectacle! It’s especially prominent when Ariel is mute. Since she can’t express herself with words, the animation had to be on point so that we could still understand her thoughts and feelings. They did an amazing job. From things like her visual glee at being human when going to bed the first night, to her annoyingly blowing her bangs during the canoe ride, turning into excited glee when Eric guesses her name. It helps Ariel feel more like a three-dimensional character and illustrates everything to us that words couldn’t at that point.

The biggest animation challenge for this film would be to convincingly portray the illusion of being under water. They had to convince us that Ariel was living under the sea, and I’d say they did a pretty good job. It is no easy task and trying to describe it is… hard. But I never had any doubt that they were underwater, especially compared to the scenes that were on the surface/ just look at how Ariel's hair is constantly flowing compared to how it sits when on the surface. It’s that attention to detail that I always appreciate. The opening especially, seeing the underwater landscape thriving as we see the silhouetted merpeople until the grand reveal of King Triton’s castle. Not to mention the seashore setting of Eric’s own castle and kingdom, a perfect match for this sort of movie. As someone who loves water/seaside settings, it’s always a joy to see!

While several of these people worked on the Dark Age films, this is really the first film that allows the then-new talent of Disney to shine. The directors were John Musker and Ron Clements, who are VERY important names to the Princess line. They not only gave us Ariel but also Jasmine, Tiana, and Moana. They’ve been attached to many of Disney’s most beloved films and event cult classics like The Great Mouse Detective and Treasure Planet (both of which you should watch). You also have animators such as Glen Keane, who would go on to animate Pocahontas and Rapunzel and work on some of the future princes (The Beast and Aladdin), and Mark Henn who would animate Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas (alongside Keane), Mulan, and Tiana. They both would be the supervising animators for Ariel, and go on to have very successful careers in future productions. 

But this film also gave us what may have been the best decision that the new management ever made. For the music, they hired lyricist Howard Ashman, who chose composer Alan Menken to collaborate with him. I cannot stress enough how important these two’s contributions were for this (and the next film we’ll be discussing) production, especially the former. Ashman became very passionate about this project and was very influential on it’s direction to the point of being credited as a producer. Menken of course would go on to have a LONG, successful career as a composer on many of the Renaissance films. Many of which we’ll be touching on in this retrospective. These guys won two Oscars for The Little Mermaid for a reason.

I haven’t talked a whole lot about the music in these films outside a little bit about the main song. That’s because while not unimportant, the music didn’t really move the story along. Like Someday My Prince Will Come/ is cute, but does it really drive anything forward? Or tell us anything about Snow White that we didn’t already know from I’m Wishing? Not really. Ashman, using his stage musical experience, wanted to use that kind of styling with The Little Mermaid. To use music to add depth to both the characters and to the story. We’re all used to most Disney films being this Broadway-esque spectacle nowadays, but this film was the first to truly do so. Considering how this formula is still being used to this day, I think it’s safe to say that it was VERY successful. Again, the music won two Oscars for a reason. Heck for a LONG time, the music was all that Disney was able to win from The Academy, so that says a LOT as to how good this was.

So now that we’ve made it here, I’m going to discuss the vocal tracks individually and give my thoughts on each of the major ones:

Fathoms Below: Might be the most underrated song of the bunch. It’s in the style of a sea-shanty discussing the legends of what is below the sea. It’s a great intro to the film, letting us know right off the bat what kind of movie we are in for. I know that it sure had me invested~

Part of Your World/Reprise: I’m gonna go more into depth on the song’s meanings when we analyze Ariel, but this song is perfect. It’s the song that tells us Ariel’s wants and dreams and Jodi Benson does such a great job putting so many different emotions into it. The animators also did a fantastic job with the expressions, fully showcasing Ariel’s longing, sadness, and desperation to be part of a world that she cannot. The reprise equally does a great job showcasing her evolving revolve, going from ‘longing’ to ‘determined’. The song is fondly remembered for a reason… and it almost didn’t make it into the film. During screen testings, Jeffrey Katzenberg (the studio head at the time) wanted the sequence cut as the kid audience was ‘bored’ and ‘restless’. The directors and Ashman HEAVILY disagreed and argued back, with Glen Keane ultimately being the one to convince Katzenberg to keep the scene. Thank God for it because this adds such a strong, emotional core to both the story and to Ariel’s character and it would have taken so much away if removed. I love it~

Under the Sea: This was the number that won the Oscar. I… find it the most overrated track tbh. Not that it’s bad, FAR from it. It’s probably the best animation-wise with how much is going on. Sebastian somehow managed to conduct… all the sea life into a mass spectacle that certainly had me convinced to living under the sea. The calypso style is very fitting and fun, and Samuel E Wright sings it with so much passion. I guess that I find it overrated because I just like other songs more, but this is still a true showstopper that’s worth revisiting.

Poor Unfortunate Souls: Aside from I think Cruella DeVille (and even then Roger’s the one singing it), I think that this is the first true villain song in a Disney film. If so, then they started on a GLORIOUS note. I love this song! It was THE perfect song for Ursula. The first half with her fake reformed villain act but with this condescending air to it (Pat Carroll’s delivery with the  ‘Pathetic’ line is perfection) was already grand, but the second half? Pat Carroll just lets loose and goes utterly insane. It is AMAZING and has so much charisma to it that you can’t help but be invested. It’s also very creepy, especially in the end with Ursula's cauldron bubbling and especially how she takes Ariel’s voice. This would inspire many great villain songs in the future and to this day remains one of the all-time greats.

Les Poissons: I never thought that seeing a chef cook would be so horrifying… the song is fine. It’s a silly sequence, albeit morbid from poor Sebastian’s perspective, and Rene Auberjonois did a fantastic job despite the song being pretty short. It’s my least favorite track, mainly because it doesn’t really add or enhance anything. But it was fun… poor Senastian though XD

Kiss the Girl: The love song of the film. I love the animation for this one. I mean what’s more romantic than taking a canoe out on the lake? That’s where I’d want my first date to end! The mood is set so well with the use of shadows and once more, Sebastian is able to conduct a spectacle effortlessly. Once more Samuel E Wright does a fabulous job singing, this time with a serenade style. Even if poor Scuttle didn’t get the appreciation that he deserved. Let the seagull sing, dang it! The only thing that ruins it is the eels capsizing the canoe, jerks! But yeah a beautiful serenade that is bound to convince anyone to… well, kiss the girl XD

And that’s not even getting into Alan Menken’s score! Alan Menken is my favorite composer of all time, so I love everything that he has ever done. I still remember the opening, hearing the instrumental of Part of Your World and immediately became invested in this film. The man is an EGOT for a reason, and this is only one of the many fantastic soundtracks that we’ll be discussing in this review. He also did some additional music for the Broadway version of the film, and there’s a whole body of demo work that he and Ashman did that you can probably find on Youtube, Spotify, or whatever music streaming service you use. Listen to Ashman’s rendition of Part of Your World, you WILL be driven to tears.

So now we get to characters… and HO BOY do we have a lot. For the sake of this review we will be going over King Triton, Sebastian, Flounder, Scuttle, Ursula, Prince Eric, and as per usual Ariel will have her own section at the end.

King Triton, while not evil, serves as an antagonist early on in the film. By all appearances, Triton is a capable ruler who wields a great deal of power due to his triton. He appears just, and for the most part he is as well as a caring father. The only problem is… well, his anger issues. Triton HATES humans and the surface world. We’re never told why aside from him calling them ‘fish-eaters’ (the DTV prequel suggests it’s due to the death of his wife, but the canonicity is debatable), but considering that his youngest daughter’s greatest passion is learning about the surface world… yeah. Needless to say, they have issues between them. But he is otherwise loving and was even excited that Ariel may have found love until he found out about their species. With how overprotective he is, that was a nice subversion despite how brief it was.

Triton often gets the ‘abusive’ label thrown against him and while I do think that that’s a little too strong, there is no denying that his hatred and anger affects Ariel emotionally. He may have seen destroying Ariel’s grotto as for her own good and is likely the culmination of however long Ariel’s been going to the surface finally boiling over. But to do this right in front of her when she is begging him to stop and outright ridiculing her for saving Eric’s life… yeah. It’s… it’s a horrifying scene that does NOT make Triton look good and is what pushes Ariel into seeing Ursula. It doesn’t matter the reason, destroying your children’s things is something that WILL scar them emotionally. To be far, the moment Ariel breaks down Triton clearly realizes that he crossed the line, but he just leaves because… yeah there was NO WAY that they were reaching a reconciliation at that moment.

Triton has a lot of issues, but the reason I don’t call him abusive and like him as a character is because after the grotto scene, he was clearly remorseful. After Ariel goes missing, he outright says ‘What have I done?” and his demeanor expresses a lot of remorse. If that wasn’t enough, I think that him both selling his soul to free Ariel AND turning her human after realizing how much she loved Eric more than showed that he has learned his lesson. Triton had to learn to allow Ariel to grow up and choose her own direction in life, even if he didn’t like said direction. It’s very relatable to how some parents struggle to let go of their children as they grow up. My only real complaint is, as I said, we don’t know why Triton hates humans so much. If we did and saw him work through it, it may have helped us understand why he was so against Ariel’s passions and not come off as needlessly cruel as he did. Nevertheless, he realized his wrongs and made it right. His hug with Ariel at the end is one that gets me every time.

The sidekicks of the film are Flounder, Scuttle, and Sebastian. IDK why they named Flounder Flounder because he isn’t… well, a flounder. He looks like some kind of tropical fish. Flounder is kind of the kid appeal character, even being voiced by a child in all incarnations except Return to the Sea since he had grown up. He is Ariel’s best friend who goes with her on her adventures, despite almost always being easily frightened. He’s well-meaning, but can cause more trouble like when he accidentally exposed Ariel’s excursion during the concert. But he’s also a sweet little guy and very loyal to Ariel. The kid outright went out of his way to somehow recover the Eric statue, which is ten times his size, and deliver it to her grotto to make her happy. That is friendship. He doesn’t really develop, but he’s a nice supporting character.

Scuttle is… well, dumb. But a fun dumb. He’s a surface creature and thus has more knowledge about surface world items than Ariel does… except he doesn’t. He’s not smart, but they manage to keep him entertaining because he’s so sure that he knows what he’s talking about. Imo, dinglehoppers are a MUCH better name for forks than forks, dang it! He tries to help, like it was his idea to try the serenade during the canoe ride… too bad that he can’t hold a note. Poor bird tried. They also DO allow him to be useful at the end, discovering that Ursula had tricked Eric and he amassed one heck of an army to humiliate her long enough for Ariel to reach the ship. It is one of the funniest AND most awesome moments in the whole film. Scuttle is just fun comedic relief who doesn’t overstay his welcome and his VA Buddy Hackett did such a great job~

But if there’s any character aside from Ariel that we remember from this film, it’s Sebastian. This Jamaican crab is the royal musical conductor and Triton’s advisor. He’s often the one who has to watch over Ariel, which clearly frustrates him on multiple occasions. Tbh, Sebastian probably has the most character development in the film. In the beginning, while understandably upset that Ariel being a no-show ruined his conducting debut (though tbf… NO ONE bothered to make sure she was in place? Really?), he’s mainly upset that /he/ looked bad. After the storm, he’s more concerned about getting into trouble with Triton than about Ariel herself. He knows how much the human world means to her, and while one can argue that Ariel /should/ be more aware of how her actions affect others, Sebastian isn’t much better. He only discourages her to save his own shell, not for her own good. Which eventually leads to him breaking and exposing what happened during the storm when he should know damn well that Triton will explode. Yeah it was because he misunderstood, but still.

However, Sebastian isn’t a bad crab. After the grotto's destruction, he immediately feels guilty and tries to apologize to Ariel, but she angrily dismisses him. He tries to convince Ariel to not go to Ursula, but as she’s still upset she bitterly brushes him off and tells him to get her father since he’s good at that. He therefore follows with only Flounder and at first, panics after Ariel is human. It’s understandable because… yeah, that’s bad. His first reaction is to get Triton to fix this, with Ariel trying to stop him. Once he sees the heartbroken look on her face, Sebastian realizes just how miserable Ariel would be back home. At this point, it's reasonable to assume that Triton will only be stricter about letting her have her ventures, and thus she’d be stuck in an unhappy life. This, along with the situation at least being partially his fault, convinces Sebastian to hold off and help Ariel win Eric over. Which he certainly tries his best. 

One of my favorite scenes is Ariel going to bed and being so excited to experience these new things as Sebastian tries to advise her on getting Eric to kiss her. But he stops when he sees that Ariel has fallen asleep with the biggest smile on her face, and he just affectionately calls her a ‘hopeless child’. The affection in his expressions and Samuel E Wright’s delivery is just so sincere and it really shows that for all his bluster, Sebastian does care for Ariel. The crab is also a seriously talented conductor. Like I said, he put together both Under the Sea AND Kiss the Girl in zero time and they’re both amazing numbers because of it. He really tries hard to help Ariel and once Ursula strikes again, he decides it’s finally been long enough and gets King Triton. Sure that doesn’t go well, but at that point it was absolutely the right call. He also helps fight off Flotsam and Jetsam, willing to put himself in harm’s way to help both Ariel and Eric. 

Sebastian became a much more understanding, more selfless crab over the course of the film, realizing that he needs to care less about saving his own skin and to understand why Ariel does what she does. It’s especially notable at the end. In the beginning, he advised Triton to keep a firm grip on Ariel when he asks if he was too harsh. At the end? He advises him that children have to be free to lead their own lives, which is what convinces Triton to grant Ariel legs. It’s a really nice character arc and this along with Sebastian’s two spectacular musical numbers leaves no question as to why he’s so beloved.

But what’s a great film without a great villain? For that we get one of the best, Ursula the Sea Witch. She is a fantastic villainess. She’s a large octopus woman who used to work in the palace, but for reasons unknown got banished. In early versions, she was going to be Triton’s sister which would have added a VERY twisted dynamic to the whole thing. Maybe that’s where they got the idea for Scar in The Lion King… anyways! Her design was based on Drag Queen Divine who was also going to be the VA for Ursula, but she sadly passed away of an enlarged heart before any recording to be done. After going through various performers, the production staff settled on actress Pat Carroll, who did a spectacular job. You can just tell that she is loving every single second of this role, and she has always happily returned whenever they need new Ursula material like in House of Mouse or in the parks. Just listen as she goes off the chain in Poor Unfortunate Souls that is some amazing acting.

Ursula is confident, manipulative, and a true actress. Her entire gimmick is manipulating vulnerable, insecure people into making deals with her. Deals that are pretty much impossible to keep and thus, she claims them as hers and adds them to her ‘garden’. She targets Ariel specifically because of her passion for the surface world and since she likely knows of Triton’s hatred for it AND of his anger problems, she’s just waiting for the day he screws up and Ariel is vulnerable. I’m gonna go MUCH more in depth with this when we get to Ariel, but this is SO important to note. Ursula struck when Ariel was hurt, emotional, and not thinking straight. It shows just how manipulative she can be. This is who she preys on. She knows how to sway them to act how she wants them to. She’s a saleswoman, and BOY does she sell it. It doesn't help that she gives Ariel very little personal space and manipulates her feelings for Eric to be further swayed. Yet Ariel is the stupid one because she was manipulated by a master manipulator… patience Callie, you’re gonna be able to let it out soon enough…

Ursula works so well as a villain because of how smart and manipulative she is. Like I said, she knows how to prey on the vulnerable and insecure. But she also knows when to get herself involved. After Ariel almost kisses Eric on the second day, Ursula disguises herself and uses Ariel’s voice to hypnotize Eric. And even though Scuttle and his undersea army humiliate her and Ariel gets her voice back, she bought just enough time for the sun to set and the spell breaks. Ursula won. She captured Ariel, forced Triton to sell himself to save his daughter, and claimed ultimate power. It was a truly methodical plan that ultimately succeeded. You gotta give her props for that.

Don’t make any mistakes though. While Ursula is intelligent and confident, she /is/ still evil. I’ve seen people say that she should have won just because they don’t like the ‘abusive tyrant’ Triton. Aside from what I already said about Triton above, Ursula is shown to be far, FAR worse. I mean… I hate to use the term, but she essentially s***-shames Ariel throughout Poor Unfortunate Souls. I mean she outright calls her a ‘little tramp’ after the canoe scene, which in this context is a G-Rated way of calling her a s***. To a sixteen year old. Yeah… plus we saw how power-mad she went once she got the triton, and it didn’t bode well for either land or sea. Triton’s temperamental, but he isn’t a tyrant. Ursula’s only redeeming trait is that she DOES care for her henchmen Flotsam and Jetsam, and their death at Ariel’s hand is what provoked her to go mad with power. This was ultimately her undoing as she was so focused on tormenting Ariel that it allowed Eric to take his ship and kill her. It’s a pretty gruesome Disney Villain Death (we outright see her SKELETON FLASHING at one point), but she brought it upon herself.

If you asked me what villain helped shape many of the ones we got during the Renaissance… I’d say Professor Ratigan from The Great Mouse Detective. But Ursula was the first Renaissance villain, and she started it off right. She’s enjoyable enough that we love it when she’s on screen, but still detestable enough that we want her to lose. Many complain about doing ‘purely evil’ villains. That villains HAVE to be sympathetic or nuanced, otherwise they are poorly written. While there’s nothing wrong with sympathetic, or even redeemable villains, having a purely evil one is also perfectly fine. Disney is the master of this. Ursula’s motivation is strictly to gain power, but it works because they give her character so much personality and charisma. Petty motivation, but excellent character writing that makes us not mind. I’d say if you want to learn how to do a Pure Evil character right, study Ursula in particular along with Jafar and Hades. They’re all great examples of how to do it right.

Finally we come to our leading man, Prince Eric. So far the Disney Princes have acted more as a necessity than anything. It’s as I said in the Sleeping Beauty Review, Florian and Charming fill out a plot point and while he was more proactive in comparison, Phillip fell into the same trap. Did Eric finally break the curse? Well… yes and no. He's a firm middle ground between ‘necessity’ and ‘actual character’. He’s allowed FAR more than any of the other princes thus far. Eric is a seasman, he loves going out on the ocean in his ships. He’s adventurous, good-looking, and an overall nice guy. We see that he isn’t really into fancy stuff, outright cringing when Grimsby unveils the statue. He also isn’t interested in Grimsby trying to set him up with various noble women. Like Jasmine and to a degree Prince Charming, he wants to find love for love, but on his own time. These are the traits that attract Ariel to him. Plus he’s also heroic, going back to a BURNING SHIP in order to save his dog Max… yeah I’d fall in love with him too.

After Ariel saves him, Eric becomes determined to find her. But he only briefly saw her face and heard her voice. Funny how NO ONE gets on Eric for this while hating on Ariel, but again we’ll get to that soon enough. When he meets Ariel he recognizes her face… but since she can’t talk, assumes that she can’t be the mystery girl. Still, being a good person, he takes her back to the palace to give her shelter. It’s not long before he becomes endeared by her though. She’s pretty, sweet, and even though she can’t talk he has a good time showing her around the kingdom. It's so clear by /Kiss the Girl/ that he has fallen for her, to the point that even Grimsby points it out to him. It gets him to give up on the mystery girl which is VERY important. It shows us that Eric didn’t fall for Ariel because she happened to be the girl he was looking for, but because of who she is as a person. It shows the audience that his feelings are genuine which makes us further root for him and Ariel… too bad that Ursula goes and ruins it.

As far as personality goes, Eric is more fun than his predecessors, but he’s still stuck with the standard prince-like personality. He’s given more lines than all of them combined and has a real charm to him. You can see why Ariel would like a guy like him. He’s kind, fun, adventurous, and even a little rebellious. He is her ideal vision of what humans are like. The end of the film lets him prove himself as well, going out to help Ariel despite the danger and of course using his own ship to kill Ursula. It does cause Ariel to be a bit of a Damsel in Distress, but she DID save him much earlier and she stops Ursula from blasting him to smithereens, so it balances out. It was enough to prove himself to Triton, at least. So Eric is a nice step up as far as princes go, but we’re not quite out of the well with them yet. But it won’t be much longer, heehee XD

There’s other supporting characters that I really don't have much to say about. Ariel’s sisters are nicely designed, but ultimately bland. I think the series and Ariel’s Beginning did more with them, but otherwise there’s not anything to discuss. Grimsby is fine enough, being the closest thing that Eric has to a parental figure (where ARE Eric’s parents in all of this anyways?) and is stuffy, but otherwise a decent guy. Chef Louie is… crazy. That’s all that I can say. This film has a lot of characters, let’s put it that way. But of course, we have one more to go over. The titular little mermaid herself. I’ve been hinting at this throughout the review, so I think you all know exactly how this will go…

Ariel Analysis

I cannot stress enough how massive a step Ariel was for the Disney Princess line. As much as I have defended the Classic Three and standby all of that, there is certainly some repetition going one with them. All three are beautiful, passive, and can’t directly do much to accomplish their dreams. And at least two of them are dreaming mainly about a man, which is NOT a bad thing, but it was certainly getting old. Feminism has also been evolving since 1959, the last time a Disney Princess film came out. A lot had changed in those thirty years. Women in media could now be more proactive, take matters into their own hands, and have their own hopes and dreams that weren’t just about love while still being allowed to find love. Simply put, as much as I love Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, the times had changed and it was time for Disney to get with those times. Thus we got Ariel, and she was exactly the right princess to take the line into a whole new direction.

The beginning of the film is a pretty clever way to set her up. The Classic Three are known for being angelic singers, and for good reason. It’s pretty much the first thing they do when we meet them (well, as an adult in Aurora’s case) so the concert sets this up. It’s Ariel’s ‘debut” and her sisters all have the looks and angelic voices that fit the archetypal Disney Princess. But then the shell opens up… and is empty. Then we cut to Ariel, who is about to go inside a sunken ship to look for surface world artifacts. It is an excellent subversion, setting up a Classic Princess move and flipping it on it’s head. It’s shown very quickly that Ariel is adventurous and actively seeking out her dreams despite her situation instead of trying to just make do with the way things were and hoping for the best. We also get a fun sequence of her and Flounder escaping a shark, so first time a Princess got an action scene as well.

The film very quickly establishes Ariel’s love and fascination with the surface world. Exploring sunken ships, going to Scuttle to get more information, later we see her grotto that is filled with so many items that we would consider standard, but that she considers treasures. These mean so much to her. She finds the surface world ‘wonderful’. But there are setbacks and consequences for her actions, in this case her forgetting about the concert. She didn't mean to and feels bad about it, and Flounder mentioning the reason why didn’t help. It’s clear that Ariel and Triton have been arguing about this for a long time, the latter failing to understand how much this means to Ariel and is at his wit’s end. His demands for her to stop upset her, causing her to storm out of the throne room and head for her grotto.

This leads to Part of Your World. This song/sequence is vital to understand Ariel’s character. This is the song where she expresses all her hopes and dreams. How she wants to be human. How she wants to learn more about the surface world. How she wants to experience things like walking down a street or finding out how a fire can burn. Throughout the film, we never learn how Ariel got so interested in human culture and just why she’s so passionate about it. But we really don’t need an in-depth explanation because this song conveys so much sincerity and emotion that it makes us believe in her passion. We understand how much this matters to her, and in turn it makes it matter to us. It’s why if it had gotten removed, it would have robbed Ariel of this depth and in turn, rob the film of something essential to its story. Thank God it remained intact.

This is a good time to talk about Ariel’s voice actress, Jodi Benson. Having originally been in Howard Ashman’s failed musical Smile, she was brought in originally as Ariel’s singing voice before being promoted to also doing the speaking the lines. This was not only her voice acting debut, but as far as I can tell her film debut as well. She did such a lovely job in the role. She perfectly conveys Ariel’s passion, drive, and sincerity while still coming off as a sixteen year old girl. Her singing voice has been rightfully praised, and to this day Ariel is often considered the best singer among the princesses. Benson has gone on to do other voice roles such as Barbie in the Toy Story films, Patsy and Ms. Doe in Camp Lazlo, and Aquagirl in Batman Beyond. She has continued to reprise Ariel to this day when needed and has always expressed so much love and gratitude for the film and her part in it, She’s also supported others who have done the role like Auli’i Cravallho (aka Moana) for the ABC Musical and Halle Bailey for the upcoming live-action remake. She’s a lovely woman and may she continue to do well~

Going back to the film, Ariel finds herself at a ship and this is where she sees Eric for the first time. It’s love at first sight. Of the Renaissance Era Princesses, Ariel is the one who gets the ‘love at first sight’ critique levied at her the most. Belle and Mulan of course didn’t have that issue and I usually see Jasmine and Pocahontas be given a free pass in this regard. Now of the five, The Little Mermaid IS the most blatant with the trope, but let’s look at it through Ariel’s POV. This is the first time that she’s seen so many humans up close. Eric is around her age (to my knowledge, at least. His VA was 16 at the time IIRC). It is very quickly established that Eric is jovial, uninterested in things like statues in his image, rebellious as he has rejected all the women Grimsby has arranged him with, and wants to find love for himself. He has many of the traits that Ariel herself has, being a rebellious, free-spirit teen herself. But most of all he is heroic, as demonstrated when he goes back to his burning ship to save his dog.

In other words, Eric is Ariel’s ideal vision of what people are like. She saves him from drowning, the first time that a Princess has saved her Prince, and is able to look at him more closely. She is clearly infatuated and seeing this man, this good-hearted, handsome young man who is everything that she ever dreamed of. This is what pushes her from just dreaming about being human to swearing that somehow she /will/ be human. Yes, she gets motivated by love, but the goal was there before this moment. It just became a solidified goal. One that she is going to make a reality someway, somehow. She even notes in the Part of Your World Reprise that she doesn’t know when or how, but it doesn’t matter. Compared to how fleeting her hopes were in the main song, the reprise is so much more triumphant and determined and continues to show just how important this truly is to Ariel.

Sadly however she still has one obstacle in between her and her dream; her father. The next day she is so happy and lovesick and it’s really cute, but Sebastian knows that this is going to cause major issues with her father. His big Under the Sea plea goes ignored, and Ariel is led to her grotto by Flounder, who has brought her the Eric statue. She’s so happy and acting like… well, a teenager in love. But unfortunately due to Sebastian jumping the gun, Triton finds out and he is enraged. Not only is he angry that Ariel again went to the surface, but she both saved and fell in love with a human. Thus we get the dark scene of Triton, in his rage, destroying the grotto. Every item, treasure, and relic that Ariel has gathered for who knows how long has become nothing but a pile of dust. Including the statue of the man she loves. 

Say what you want about ‘love at first sight’ or Ariel being a lovesick dummy, but this is outright traumatizing. This sixteen year old girl, a girl who aside from forgetting a few engagements has done nothing wrong, had all of her hopes and dreams shattered by her own father all because of his own blind hatred. Imagine being a teenager and your parents destroying everything you love all because they hated something that you loved. Even if Triton regretted it, it doesn’t change the pain that he inflicted upon his own daughter as she breaks down. She’s so upset that she rejects Sebastian trying to apologize and just tells him and Flounder to go away. They comply, leaving Ariel to cry in her now bare grotto… that is, until Flotsam and Jetsam appear.

So.. let’s now talk about Ariel going to Ursula and accepting the deal. First, her going in the first place. When Flotsam and Jetsam bring Ursula up, Ariel… /refuses/ to go. She is aware that Ursula is bad news. She had no intention of going to her at first and outright tells the eels to leave. What makes her agree? The two knocking the remains of the Eric statue in front of her. At this point, Ariel’s pretty much been rejected by her father and all of her treasures that kept her seabound are gone, so… what’s she got left to lose? She follows and naturally Sebastian tries to stop her, but she just angrily tells him to get her father since he’s good at that.

Ariel enters Ursula’s domain, and we come to the scene. Ursula declares to have changed, demonstrates her power, and offers Ariel the deal to become human for three days and it’ll be permanent if Eric kisses her. If Ariel fails, she not only becomes a mermaid again, but she belongs to Ursula. She also has to give up her voice as payment. Now we all know the big criticism against this, that being Ariel selling her voice and leaving behind her family and all that she ever knew and loved… for some prince that she hasn’t even really met yet, let alone spoken to. Now do I see why people dislike this? Yes. It’s a very rash, very stupid decision not just for those factors, but the fact that Ariel is essentially selling herself to the devil for this one thing. None of this is a good thing… but here is the big question, does the film do enough that this makes sense for Ariel’s character? Is this something that I can see her doing?

Yes, yes I can.

Let’s look at this piece by piece. First, Ariel is clearly uncomfortable the entire time that she is in Ursula’s lair. Ursula continuously gets into her personal space, laying on the manipulation at every step. When she lays out the deal, Ariel is at first hesitant. She herself brings up that if she takes it, she’ll likely never see her family again. She’s also hesitant when Ursula lays out the terms of payment, not just because she has no idea how she’d woo Eric without it, but just the concept of losing her voice clearly unnerves her. Look at her face when she grabs at her own throat, she is NOT okay with this. Even when Ursula begins to create the brew and poof sup the contract, Ariel isn’t excited or just jumps to it without thinking. She is VERY CLEARLY hesitant and unnerved about everything. 

So… why does she do it then? Well remember, she’s still emotional after her confrontation with her father. Her father has rejected her in her eyes and destroyed everything that she had worked for. At this point, her dreams and feelings for Eric are all that she has. She is hurt, emotional, and desperate and when we are hurt, emotional, and desperate we tend to make rash, even outright stupid decisions. Especially when we’re teenagers. Ursula waited to strike at this very moment for this exact reason; so that Ariel wouldn’t be thinking rationally.  These are the exact kind of people that Ursula preys on, and as I said above, she knows how to manipulate them to act how she wants. She gives Ariel the offer of her dreams, assures her that she can woo Eric without talking, poofs Eric’s image up at one point, and makes it clear that she’s giving her very little time to think it over. 

With absolutely nothing left to lose and it being clear that her father will never support her dreams, Ariel reluctantly signs the contract. She outright turns her head away when she signs. She KNOWS that she’s making a big choice and she isn’t 100% okay with it. She didn’t just give up her life callously for a man like some like to make out. It was a rash choice, but she had reluctance and fears about it. But it’s the only chance she’ll get to get her dream of being human and being happy, which is what ultimately drives her to make her choice. Given how she risked her life already against a shark, this is in-character for her and shows how far she’ll go for her dreams. And as we’ll see, this is going to have consequences as we near the end of the film.

So the deal is made. Ariel loses her voice and is transformed into a human. Once she makes it to shore, she gets to see her new legs, and for the first time since the confrontation, is happy. She has legs. She is human. The one thing that she had wanted for so, so long has finally come true. Naturally Sebastian wants to get Triton, but she stops him and gives him the saddest, most pleading look that I think I’ve ever seen. This is Ariel’s one and only chance to get what she dreamed of. Triton would not only stop her, but considering what happened before, who knows what else he’d do if he saw her as a human. It is 10% understandable why Ariel doesn't want him involved, especially once it would just lead her back to a life of misery. Sebastian realizes this and agrees to help her, which pretty much gets her to forgive him for what happened before.

Thus, we get to the first true meeting between Ariel and Eric. Of course, Ariel can’t explain who she is because of her voice being gone, so Eric assumes that she can’t be the same girl he saw despite her looking like her. But he sees her in the makeshift dress that Scuttle got her into and assumes that she’s shipwrecked, especially since she can’t walk well. So he takes her to the palace, and Ariel is able to get refreshed and get used to walking on legs. She is clearly delighted by everything. She is now part of the world that she longed for,, and she is loving every second of it. Sure she quickly finds out that forks aren’t combs, but hey she’s learning exactly what she wanted to learn. She is in utter bliss throughout the two days that she’s on the surface, doing thinks like learn to dance and ride a horse-drawn carriage. It’s all she ever hopes it would be.

But of course, Ariel still needs to get Eric to kiss her, or all of her dreams will end. She almost makes it with Kiss the Girl, which despite not being able to talk she made it pretty clear that she was willing and ready for Eric to kiss her. Ursula ruins that, but Ariel HAS endeared herself to Eric and he even prepares to go to her after giving up on the mystery mermaid. But of course, Ursula disguises herself as Vanessa via Ariel’s voice and hypnotizes Eric into marrying her. It’s sad because when Scuttle informs her of the proposal, Ariel is elated. She runs down the stairs, excited and gleeful… then she sees Eric and Vanessa, and you can see her heart break in two. It especially hits hard as she watches the ship take off, broken-hearted. She’s lost the man she loves, in moments she will be a mermaid again, and she will belong to Ursula fair and square. She pursued her dream, and it all seemed for naught.

But once Scuttle finds out about Ursula, Ariel quickly springs into action. With her friend's help, she reaches the ship just as Ursula’s necklace gets broken. This is a nitpick but I don’t like how Ariel ultimately wasn’t very active in helping rescuer Eric. Tbf IDK what she could have done, but I’d have liked to see her stand against Ursula before things go downhill. Otherwise it feels like this and the other events after… kind if feel handed to her by convenience and luck. But regardless she gets her voice back… but she fails to kiss Eric before the sun sets. That’s right folks, the so-called selfish, stupid deal that Ariel made? She failed to uphold it. She reverts to a Mermaid and now belongs to Ursula, and Triton can’t break it as it’s legally binding. So even if you DO think that Ariel made a bad choice, the film shows that yes, it WAS bad and she is now paying the consequences. Sure Triton sacrifices himself to take her place, but that still means that Ursula not only gets power, but her father is now a husk.

Ariel is enraged at this. Despite everything, I don’t think there’s any doubt that Ariel still loves her daddy. She was reluctant about never seeing him again before, and now seeing how her deal has lead to his fate upsets her. One big issue with Ariel is how… well, the film doesn’t make it clear that Ariel grew or learned anything. Sure there are consequences to her actions, but we don’t see her ponder over them. This is the closest we get to her showing regret as she tries to apologize to Triton and outright attacks Ursula for what she did to him. But she doesn’t express true regret for her actions. She doesn’t have a true reconciliation with her father so that the two can reach a resolution. I guess we can blame timing since we’re in the final ten or so minutes here, but it makes the end feel… convenient.

Eric saves Ariel from getting blasted by Ursula, and she manages to save him from Flotst and Jetsam. How? Bu yanking Ursula back and causing her to kill her own minions. Sure it’s not the Big Bad, but again Ariel marks a First in Disney Princess History by indirectly killing a villain. This provokes Ursula to go kaiju and essentially torment Ariel, who is unable to do anything at this point as she’s caught in a raging whirlpool. While one CAN say she’s a Damsel-in-Distress here (hence why I suggested Ariel should have gotten to do more in the wedding crash), she HAS saved Eric twice now. Plus by allowing Eric to kill Ursula, he essentially proves his worth by saving both the ocean AND the surface, and it contributes to Triton’s ultimate decision.

So yeah, Ursula dies, Triton corrects his wrongs by making Ariel human, and Ariel and Eric can live happily ever after. As I said, it /does/ kind of hurt Ariel’s character as she doesn’t really learn a lesson and it feels like she got incredibly lucky at the end. But at the same time Ariel is still a good character, and she marks a LOT of progression for the Disney Princess line. Sure she is a little selfish (though she usually means no harm), but she’s also someone who actively goes after her dreams. She doesn’t have to wait for it, nor does it center on love. Sure Eric is the catalyst, but that’s it. A catalyst. She’s allowed to rescue her prince. She’s allowed to fight against the villain. Sure she’s still emotional, falls in love, and needs her friends help. But she is also a very proactive, curious, and ambitious girl. Her dream was by far the most impossible of the Princesses thus far, but she still managed to achieve it.

Ariel is divisive, and I get why. The film DOES have some narrative problems (minor, but still) and I get why Ariel may rub some the wrong way. Me personally? I love her. She was a refreshing breath of air in the Princess line. She’s different from the Classic Three. She’s a bit more bratty and far less classy, but she also feels the most like a teenager and she follows her dreams in a very different manner. She’s still a good-hearted person, but she’s a flawed person. That’s what I love about her, she’s imperfect. Could more have been done to develop her? Maybe. But her flaws aren’t so bad that she’s a bad character or unlikeable. Her actions make sense and stay true to her character. I understand why she does what she does. I care for her because I see the sincerity in her. I relate to her longing for something that seems out of reach. And while it was nowhere near as conflicted, I know what it’s like to be in conflict with my father who loved me, but never truly understood who I was. But I loved him, he loved me, he ultimately would have let me lead the life I wanted, and in the end that’s what matters. It’s why Ariel and Triton at the wedding always makes me cry. Yeah, watching this two years after my dad passed… really hit hard.

The point is, I cared about Ariel. I related to Ariel. I did when I was a child, and I still do as an adult. Anyone who loves something or someone despite everyone around you not understanding or being against it I think can relate to Ariel and her position. Plus again, she set forward a new direction for the Disney Princesses. It’s a precedent that stands strong to this day. I’ve done my best to shed light onto Ariel, but it won’t convince everyone. If you hate her, fine. I can’t change your mind and tour free to make all the arguments you want. But I’m allowed to stand by my argument, and I am. Ariel is one of my favorites. She inspires kids to follow their curiosity and their ambitions. It teachers parents to accept their children and who/what they love, and to let them go forward in their lives. One can even argue that her film teaches kids to be careful when emotional to avoid the mistakes that she made, but still achieve a happy ending as well. Either way, I think that the hate against this little mermaid is far too harsh and it ALWAYS centers on the deal without taking anything else into account. It’s time we change that.

Final Thoughts

I love this film. The animation is lovely, the music fantastic, and despite a few issues here and there the story is sound. I don’t remember when I first saw it (it came out four years before I was born so not then), but I’ve loved it since that first time. I’m pretty sure I love the ocean and mermaids in general because of this film. Sure it diverts a good deal from the original Hans Christian Anderson story, but honestly? As someone who found that story unnecessarily cruel? I will take this version any day (no offense to those who like the original story, this is just me talking). It is a masterpiece that changed the game for Disney, for animation, and for the Disney Princesses. Ariel was very much a huge inspiration for many of her successors, and I am grateful for all that this little mermaid did.

Upon its release, Disney was FINALLY able to step into the light after spending over 20 years stuck in the dark. The film was a monumental success. The biggest success that Feature Animation had had since Walt’s days. They also finally beat Don Bluth, winning in the box office over All Dogs Go to Heaven, and returned to the top of the animation world. The Disney Renaissance had officially begun, and it wasn’t even close to slowing down. Just two years later, another Disney Princess film would be released. One that would achieve greatness, but also face great tragedy. So come and be our guest as when we return, we discuss a tale as old as time with 1991’s Beauty and the Beast.

Image Sources: Disney Wiki, Animation Screencaps Other Sources: The Making of The Little Mermaid: Treasures Untold

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

About the frozen fandom ask :

🎨, ✍️, and 👗

P.s remember to get enough sleep~

@like-redhead-probably I got enough sleep I swear ;-; actually I overslept TBH

🎨- Favorite fanart(s)/ artist(s)?

I’m gonna limit my answers to those who are currently active in the fandom otherwise we will be here all day xD. Anyone who has seen my tags knows this  to be true. My favorite fan artists are:

@giuliaciulia89 - because asdfghjklssh have you SEEN her line art?? And her expressions?? And how she does shading and color (with markers!! Traditional Art YO!!) literally is just... takes my breath away. Her recent Hogwarts Elsanna commission was absolutely delightful, but I am always delighted to see her original content as well such as her 101 Dalmatians au and her All For One And All For Love Three Musketeers au. It has so many mysteries, I’m very intrigued. Watching her process is very relaxing as well, like *sketch, sketch, sketch* and suddenly WHOA, there’s like, a whole concept outlines in no time at all. Incredible

@zero-kiba - because while much more active on Deviantart, I am ALWAYS extremely gay for Copper! That’s been going on 5 WHOLE YEARS Y’ALL! I stayed up until the sun started creeping through my windows catching up on every single page that I’d missed out after about 2017 when I started working full time. Zero-kiba’s work is BOMBASTICALLY expressive and really hits that mark between UTTERLY badass and heart-meltingly soft. Also do yourselves a favor and read their other works too! Tip of the Iceberg is Copper characters in a comedy setting, The Realm is 65 pounds of concentrated whoop-ass, and The Whole Shebang?? Gay has hell. Really gay. I cannot stress that enough (also it’s a little self plug - I help make that one alongside Zero-Kiba, daughterofhel and giuliaciulia89)

@ice-bjorn - because like.... do I even need to....expand?? Y’all have seen my tags. Ice-bjorn’s got the kind of content that just pulls you up short. Doing something? Concentrating? Not anymore you’re not! Ice-bjorn posted new art and you’re gonna FEEL ABOUT IT for the current conceivable future! Unbelievably emotive, you can see all the hard work that goes into each piece (including writing!!). I’ve gone OFF in my tags so many times about their stuff and I aLWAYS anticipate doing it again XD I can’t possibly pick a favorite piece, but this one gives me the warm fuzzies (Edit: although I did link another further down)

@jabs-wocks - because they constantly surprise me. One day ADORABLE! Next day ANGSTY. Next time? New style?? New type of coloring?? Always has a great sense of humor and unique ideas. Also, such an enabler xD Always makes me want to make something in turn <3 Like, remember when I went OFF with that angsty piece of Anna drowning after the dam collapses? Or when I nearly ditched my (already very long) project to idea bomb on about their Skadi!Elsa piece? Yeah, I love their work very much

 @gracepago0314 - because I’m a long time fan from when they had a different username! Great style, strong short comics, and WOW have they come a long way! They already had such a strong aesthetic, but seeing their work at the top of 2020 was such a treat because it was SUCH a change! I loved seeing what I recognized about their unique style and getting to see all the ways they’ve improved and expanded! Also that reincarnation au goes straight for the heart ;-;

✍️- Favorite fanfic(s)/ author(s)?

Limiting my answer to the same for the same reasons. Many of my favorite authors are no longer active, but my heart is very big, and I am always making room for new stories and writers to love!

@fruipit - because every time I get an email from ao3 that they’ve updated I go ballistic. Every story I have ever read (or reread... many times) by them is just SO INCREDIBLE. Their writing makes me make bad decisions: like fighting sleep to make it through one last chapter xD Their work makes me ask questions, their stories flows like a needle and thread, their diction makes me believe. I have nothing but the highest praise for Fruipit’s work, they’ve been writing for years and continue to pick at that gentle thing called wonder. Choosing a favorite work of theirs is GENUINELY DIFFICULT, but I love Risky Business, Koselig, and When Spring Comes very much. Tiny Hearts is a riot tho xD Oh wait and Who Dares Wins! .....Look just... go read Fruipit, you won’t regret it xD

@arendellesfirstwinter - because after years and years they just bang out one badass story after another. Their most recent (and with the dawn, what comes then?) has reduced me to tears twice. No. Three times, I reread a chapter. Their writing is exceptionally raw and pointed, but they are never angsty for angst sake. Their prose has the kind of weight one gets from having a huge amount of intent and care for what they create, and the characters they foster along the way <3

@daughterofhel - because I enjoy the simple pleasures of comedy. Literally just makes me laugh. Her dialogue SLAPS. Her world building is effortless (well, it’s not, she works very hard but it FEELS effortless, which is quite the trick xD). Her stories just WORK, her scenes are so alive and colorful and I adore how she makes characters interact even under the most RIDICULOUS prompts xD Exceptionally creative and silly, I guarantee she will surprise you for the better

@themountainsays - because every story idea is completely fascinating. Even if it’s not like, written yet? Just idea bombing or musing? Totally cool, I love reading them because you can feel the excitement behind them. Or the spite xD. Ara’s writing is also almost lyrical, it’s lovely to read, and honestly? Read out loud too! I’m a huge fan of spoken poetry/spoken stories and Ara’s always gives me that vibe. I’m behind (orz) on Creatures of the Arctic, but it’s SO FUN, I’m always keen on updates :D

@theseerasures - because I adore their frohana stuff. So freaking much. Kristanna + Icebros with so much tenderness that I just stare at my screen and go “holy hell someone MADE that.” Reading their work is like... being given a soft blanket to wrap yourself in, receiving a mug of hot chocolate, and then being told “Okay, now here’s a story that’s going to make you feel feelings really hard,” and you kind of nod back like, “Okay, seems fair.��� Idk man they just get me real good, every time. For years.

👗- Favorite outfit? One you’d like to see?

Picking a favorite is hard! But please for the love of god: bring Anna’s military-esque jacket/dress to the silver screen. Holy hell. I’m such a sucker for how absolutely DASHING Elsa and Anna look in masculine/military dress. @giuliaciulia89 and @ice-bjorn both here and here get me xD But I also love their highly feminine outfits? Anna’s coronation dress in F1 is a fav and of course Elsa’s ice-dress is iconic, but my absolute favorites? I don’t know, they’re all so beautiful...

Oh! You know what else I’d want? Casual wear. They’re always dressed up for adventure! Or a fancy party! Let the crew relax more! More day-to-day, more cozy pjs! Kristoff in a big oversized shirt, Elsa in Fifth-Spirit inspired sleepwear, Anna in clothes made by their new Northudran family - complete with little hexagons but like, lined with soft reindeer fur <3. I’d love to see them when the world isn’t falling down around their ears, for more than 5 minutes, please ;-;

Thanks again for asking!! I know this is a few days late but I hope my jabbering made up for it ^_^

[ofxwordsxandxletters]

Christmas Cheer

Series: Naruto

Setting: College!AU

Pairing; Sakura/Hinata

Rating: G

After an accident lands Sakura on bed rest and crutches, Hinata makes it her job to cheer her partner up. 

Author’s note: A commissioned piece for @wombatking​! So the pairing and plot are by request and the characters borrowed and adapted for this AU. Hopefully, it gives you some warm fluffy feelings this holiday season! 

*~*~*~*

Christmas Cheer The goal was in sight and this was her moment. Last game of an almost perfect season and she wanted to finish strong. Sakura had never been one to back down from a challenge, even one she’d set for herself so she barrels for the goal desire in mind. Movement out of the corner of her eye warns that things might get tricky and she leaves it up to fate as she sends the ball hurtling towards the goal seconds before there is a collision and a blinding pain shoots up her leg as she takes a tumble. The breath is knocked from her and as she lays there dazed and in pain, she can’t help but hope that the goal was good.  Watching from the stands, Sakura’s girlfriend, Hinata, is horrified at the sight of her partner hitting the ground and rises immediately so she can make her way down. As she makes her way through the throng, all she can repeat in her head is how much this could not be a career-ending injury. Soccer was Sakura’s whole world and that would devastated her to not be able to play. But she knows that regardless of all of that, she has no plans that aren’t helping her through whatever this turns out to be. And thankfully, it turns out to be a clean break. However, the doctor is adamant about Sakura staying off her foot as much as possible. Absolutely no long distance trips for at least a month if not more especially if she wants to it to heal right.  “Does he honestly expect me to cancel my trip home for Christmas?”  “Sakura,” Hinata says softly, “You know he wants you to get back to what you love doing. And I know you do, too. So maybe it’s for the best. I can decorate the dorm and we can celebrate together here.” “My parents are going to be super-bummed you realize.”  “I know. But look at it this way; at least for one holiday you won’t have to deal with Naruto.”  At that, Sakura cannot help laughing softly. “I suppose there is a plus for that. Sure your folks will be okay with you declining their invitation, too?”  “They’re just going to have to be. Besides, it’s not like it isn’t tense every year and I end up at your house within a day or two, anyway.” “Your father is still not close to being okay with things is he?”  Hinata sighs as she pushes the wheelchair. “He wanted...different things for me, that’s all. He’ll come around eventually. It’s just a matter of waiting him out.”  “Still, I think he’s a total narcissistic dick for having problems with how you want to live your life. You want to help people. That’s admirable. And as for me...well, I’m definitely a catch so he should be glad his daughter has such discerning tastes.”  Hinata giggles at her words as she guides the wheelchair into the elevator. “I suppose you are right in some ways. But my mother is hopeful that by the time I graduate he’ll have accepted it.” “Well, even if he doesn’t, you know my family adores you.”  “I do and I’m very grateful to them. So you won’t be the only one who will be missing them this Christmas but I do think it important to listen to the doctor’s orders.”  “Suppose that is what I get for dating a med student.” *~*~*~*~ Hinata helps Sakura settle into her bed and gives her the privacy to call her folks deciding that she might as well let her own know she wasn’t coming this year, either. She was sure her father would be less than understanding, he never was, but her mother would be. It’s with this hope that she makes the call and waits. Three rings and would come, “Hinata, I didn’t think we’d hear from you until you were ready to leave.”  She closes her eyes and steadies herself. “Mom, there’s been an accident and Sakura has to stay off her feet. I need to stay here and look after her.”  There’s a long pause before her mother answers, “You know your father won’t approve of this. However, I know how important it is to you to take care of her. You enjoy your holidays and don’t you worry about us. If he wants to get grumpy then I’ll point out that there would be dishonor to not take care of someone who is hurt when they need it. Give Sakura my love and the hopes for  a speedy recovery.”  “Thanks, mom, I love you.”  “And I you. We’ll talk soon.”  It was always easier to talk to her mom than her dad and she was glad he wasn’t the one who answered. Stern and aloof, he was terrifying even now and Hinata had trouble making herself heard. Even distance made it hard because she could hear the rife disappointment in his tone and just envision him before her. Pushing that thought away, she decides that a list is in order of how to make the dorm apartment more festive for  the two of them. She certainly knew shopping would be a must because she has every intention of making this a fantastic holiday season for her girlfriend no matter that they had to stay here on campus.  At least they would be alone as their other two roommates Ino and Tenten had already left on vacation. Ino and Sakura had a childhood rivalry and no doubt the blond would have made her feel quite bad about her injury for the whole time otherwise. Hinata would have no doubt intervened but she didn’t think Sakura needed the added stress as it was.  She’s mulling over the list when she hears, “Hinata!” and makes her way for her room. “Done with your call?” she asks.  “Yeah. Surprisingly they were pretty no-nonsense about me doing as the doctor ordered so long as we agree to facetime with them on Christmas. They are, as always, so proud of you and send their loves. They also said they’d send a fruitcake back with Naruto.”  “I suppose we can see if it actually arrives or not,” Hinata says hiding a grin.  “Knowing Naruto? We’ll probably have to thank them and tell them it was delicious and not really know the truth.” That makes Hinata giggle before remarking, “Well, we all know how much he loves to eat.”  “So should they. So hopefully they’ll send him with his own and he can eat that. How’d your talk go?”  “I spoke with my mom. She’s going to handle my father, which is probably for the best.”  “Yeah, no doubt. Sorry that you have to…”  “No, none of that,” she interrupts gently, “I am going to look after you. Besides, it’s always so uncomfortable anyway so I honestly consider it a relief to have a reason not to go.” “I just know that you love them despite how slow your father is coming around on things.”  “I know. But they will be fine without me.”  “Still…”  She leans close before lightly kissing her cheek. “None of that. Now, what do you want to do? We’re going to make this place festive.”  Sakura smiles at that. “You are sweet for all of this. But honestly, you don’t have to go all out on my account.”  “It’s not a problem. Besides, I know you love this holiday and so do I.”  “Well, I won’t say no to decorating...but only if you agree to help decorate this ugly white cast  first. I don’t like it all that much.”  Hinata smiles. “I’ll put some decorations but I will leave space for our friends to sign it because you know they’ll want to when they find out.”  "Suppose that is unavoidable," Sakura sighs, "but until that time, let's make it at least a little festive,?" "Of course," Hinata readily agrees. It's not too long before she has the tools she needs and she settles next to Sakura. "Let me know if at any time it becomes too much, okay?" "Don't worry, I'll let you know," Sakura promises. It's with this in mind that Hinata starts to work. She inks.and then paints a couple of holiday-themed items over the white cast. At the end, Sakura marvels at the snowman, reindeer, present, Christmas tree, and of course, a jolly Santa Claus. "Are you sure you shouldn't have wanted to major in art?" "It's more a hobby than a passion," her girlfriend replies as she cleans up and puts away the items. "Still, you're quite good." "Thank you. It'll take some time to dry so try not to jostle it too badly." “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on moving much, promise.” She gifts her with a soft smile before adding, “If I don’t say it enough; I’m so glad that I have you in my life. You bring such sunlight to my world.”  Hinata smiles before leaning and kissing her cheek. “I think those are the painkillers finally kicking in. You should rest while you can. I’m going to go out and get a few things for the apartment.” “I assure you it’s not,” she murmurs before yawning, “Okay, maybe a little. But the sentiment is still honest.” “I know,” comes the response, “but rest. I’ll be back and when you wake up it’ll look fantastic in your room.” “‘M lucky that you go through all this trouble.” As she leaves, Hinata murmurs, “It’s never any trouble for you. Promise.”

[phoneboxfairy]

Working Up a Sweat (The Gym Fic!) (smut alert)

Ao3 link - https://archiveofourown.org/works/22405093 (Includes all proper formatting/italics/etc)  Commission for @a-god-of-calamity :)   Magnolia, Fiore, a fair sized city boasting sixty thousand residents, and home to a few notable families. Perhaps the most notable is the Dragneel clan. Unlike other families the Dragneels are not old money. Rather, Igneel, the family patriarch often referred to as The Dragon King, earned their wealth and notability slowly but surely, starting with the purchase of a single hotel a few years before the birth of his son. By the time the son, Natsu, was in middle school that single hotel had transformed into an empire. A second hotel was dedicated in providing luxury accommodations for travelers who otherwise might not have been able to afford it. Eventually the empire grew to include include shelters for families in need and the Dragneel Fund, which provides support to those who need it. But even Igneel the Dragon King cannot live forever, so making sure his heir would be ready to take over became a priority starting right around the same time Natsu entered high school. He made sure the boy had extra lessons on proper business management as well as plenty of first hand experience helping in various positions within the organization. By the time Natsu was twenty five he knew that company like the back of his own hand.  Even the old man was frequently heard praising his son’s skills. But lately...lately it all seemed like it was a bit too much. As much as he loved his family and the company, he desperately sought some sort of an outlet. Natsu tried to work out at his private gym, knowing full well how working out can relieve so much pent-up stress. But his efforts here were fruitless. When he was at home he couldn’t help thinking about work, about the company that led to his family’s wealth. Good thing Magnolia has some pretty awesome gyms. The newest one in town was called Fairy Tail, and already had a reputation for its facilities, classes, and top-of-the-line equipment. One afternoon after a stressful meeting, Natsu made a detour from his usual path home, instead ending up in the gym. He paid for a membership and made his way to the locker room. That’s where he first saw her. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of what he immediately described as a smoking hot blonde.  She’s curvy but clearly works out, he thought, judging by the way her sweatpants and tank top hugged her form. Her hair was tied up in a sloppy ponytail, and she had this fierce determined look on her face. What a babe. Wow. He shook his head to clear his mind, turned around… ...and walked right into a locked door. Thwack It didn’t go unnoticed. A few people snickered. But otherwise nobody really seemed to care about Natsu’s silly blunder. He dusted himself off then headed in the direction of the weight room...this time paying attention to where he was walking. As soon as he got to his destination he got right to work pumping iron. For a while that’s all he could think about. Then a voice caught his attention. "Are you alright?" "Hnh?" He looked up and saw her, the babe from earlier. Oh shit, better play it cool. "I...saw you run into that door. I would have stopped but I was running late for my class. I didn’t want my students to miss any yoga time." She was blushing. The rosy tint to her cheek made her look even prettier. "Ohh. That's nothin'. I'm fine. Thanks for asking!" He flashed a smile. Her blush deepened. "You're welcome." Pause. She bit her lip. "I'm Lucy, by the way. Lucy Heartfilia." "Nice to meet ya, Lucy." He recognized the name. She was the heir to the Heartfilia travel company, a group that sent quite a few customers to Dragneel hotels.  Rumor had it she had spent part of her inheritance buying a small bookshop and turning it into what locals referred to as paradise for bookworms. She was also every bit as beautiful as he had heard. "Likewise. You're Natsu Dragneel, right?" "Yeah, that's me. How'd you know?" "I saw your family crest on your hoodie. And I, um, recognized you from the paper." Those publicity pictures don't do him justice at ALL, she thought. To say nothing of how utterly hypnotic it was watching him do dumbbell curls. "Wow, you're beautiful and smart. I like that." “Thanks.” Her smile lit up her face. “So, what brings you to Fairy Tail? Don’t you have a private gym in your mansion?” “Yeah but sometimes you just need to get away, ya know? Escape from everyday life.” “I definitely get that. I should go, though. It’s been a long day and I’m supposed to meet my friends for dinner.” She handed him a folded up scrap of paper, blush setting her cheeks ablaze. “Call me if you want. Or, you know, if you have time.” “A cutie like you? I’ll make time.” A smile that exposed a fang and made Lucy’s heart flutter. “Al...alright! See you later, Natsu.” With that she left, leaving Natsu feeling pretty good about the whole situation. It wasn’t every day you had a meet cute with an absolute babe like Lucy, after all. With her on his mind, he couldn’t help smiling. That first night they shared a few texts. He wasn’t really surprised she didn’t talk much. After all, she did say she was meeting with friends. No way was he going to monopolize her free time like that. He also wasn’t surprised when they met up again a few days later after their respective workouts and immediately began flirting. Natsu was, however, quite surprised when Lucy asked him out. “Do you, um, want to go out sometime?” “Like a date?” Flustered nod. “Sounds good to me. I know! I can take you to dinner Saturday night.” Lucy paused and seemed to contemplate this for a minute. Then she smiled. “I like that idea. If you want I can show you around my bookstore first...” The light in her eyes suggested she wanted to, so why was she acting so shy about it? Well, Natsu wasn’t about to make a beautiful woman feel bad about something she was so clearly passionate about… “Sure!” Another one of his bright smiles. “Text me your address and let me know when you wanna meet up. Don’t keep me waitin’, alright?” Mock sternness. She saw right through his ruse, giggled,  melted his heart. “Wouldn’t dream of it, Mr. Dragneel.” Lucy leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Natsu’s eyes widened. He sure as hell hadn’t expected that, not so soon anyway. “Is that a hint of things to come?” “Only if you’re good.” Her response left him speechless, eyes wide as he stared at her in admiration of her boldness. She treated him to another cheek kiss, giggled. “See you Saturday night.” With that the pair went their separate ways, both contemplating their upcoming date. Truth be told it was quite an exciting prospect. Neither one were exactly unlucky in love, but all previous relationships seemed to be lacking...something.  Natsu was fed up with women trying to hook up with him in an attempt to score some of the family fortune, and Lucy had had more than enough of men seeing her as nothing more than a smoking hot body and a prolific bank account. Their meeting had been quite fortuitous. Lucy didn’t care how wealthy Natsu was, as she had money of her own. And sure, Natsu thought Lucy was a total babe, but he was also quite enamored with her personality, her sense of humor, and the way her smile made her entire being light up. Sexual attraction was there, sure, but with it was also the possibility of something more, something sweet, something lasting… Natsu sure hoped so, anyway. With these thoughts in his mind, the heir to the Dragneel Fund spent his Saturday morning preparing for this date. Lucy spent hers minding her shop for a bit, although she did close early to make sure she was adequately dolled up for her suitor. “Adequately” was an understatement. She thought she looked beautiful, a perfect mix of relaxed and classy in a black uneven tank top, matching skirt, a white overshirt, cut out leggings, and black boots. Her long hair was tied into two side ponytails, and a light dusting of makeup accented her face. By the awe-struck smile on Natsu’s face when she opened the door, he was pretty impressed too. “Hey, Lucy! Looking good. I feel kinda underdressed.” A gesture at his black dress shirt and jeans. “Don’t feel that way. You look great, Natsu.” Cute blush, beautiful smile. “Come on in. I’ll show you around.” The Celestial Gate was a shop like none he had ever experienced. It had that old book smell that reminded him of his father’s study growing up. Lots of shelves were lined with an endless quantity of books. There was even a cozy little reading area with couches, beanbag chairs, and tables to set snacks on. Now, Natsu didn’t exactly visit a lot of bookstores, preferring to order any needed reading materials online, but somehow he found Lucy’s shop every bit as appealing as its owner.   “I have an idea.” “Hm?” Lucy would never admit it but she had been glancing at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking.“Why don’t we stay here? We can order something to eat and get to know each other.” That look on her face seemed to be a mix of surprise and relief. He suspected, given their similar backgrounds, that she too had had more than her fair share of glitzy, ritzy dates. Here’s the thing about glitzy, ritzy dates: You can’t properly get to know someone on them. Not really. “I’d love that.” “Awesome. Hungry for anything special?” “This is gonna sound weird but...pizza!” She giggled. Natsu grinned. He didn’t think that was weird at all. That’s how Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia came to spend their first date sitting together in an oversized beanbag chair she called a fuf, eating pizza and talking about their life experiences. Once the food had been put away he laid back, stretching his arms behind his head. She quirked her head, bit her lip. “Can we cuddle? Is that okay?” “Duh. Go ahead.” A gesture and a smile beckoned her closer. She paused for a moment, smiled, then snuggled next to him. As if on instinct he curled his arms around her. Why not? It felt right to hold her close like this, although he couldn’t explain why. His fingers dared to stroke over the bare skin of her midriff. She didn’t object. In fact, she snuggled closer and let out a content sigh. “So warm...I like this...” “Me too.” He chuckled. He lifted his other hand to her cheek, let his thumb brush over her chin. She gazed up at him, eyes full of curiosity and wonder...with maybe a little anticipation thrown in. She nibbled her bottom lip. His heart melted. So cute, so absolutely beautiful. She looked like she needed a little tenderness, and honestly he was glad to give that to her. That decided, he leaned in, took her by surprise, kissed her. No resistance. That kiss was sweet...but entirely too fast. “Natsu?” “Yeah, Luce?”Luce...I like that... “Kiss me again?”“Alright...” Another softer chuckle. Another kiss, then another. She seemed to melt into his arms, and almost all her inhibitions floated away.Almost.As good as it felt to make out with her, to feel her body against his, Natsu couldn’t help noticing a little hesitation. And undeniable chemistry or not, he wasn’t the type to force someone into something they weren’t comfortable with yet. Especially not Lucy. So he pulled away from the kiss, rested his forehead on hers. Smiled.“That was nice...” “Yeah… we should do it again sometime.” “Definitely.” Here she kissed his cheek. “Thanks for an amazing first date.” “First, huh? That means there’ll be more, right?” “Duh.” She giggled. Natsu waited for Lucy to lock the shop up, then walked with her to her apartment door. They shared a tender kiss with a promise for more, and he watched to make sure she made it inside safely. Then he went home, unable to keep himself from smiling. Maybe an hour passed since Natsu had kissed Lucy goodnight and headed home. He had enough time to hop in the shower, change into comfy pajama pants, and flop on his bed and turn the TV on when his phone buzzed. A message...from Lucy? And a photo at that? It wasn’t exactly a surprise. After all, they had sent each other silly selfies before. So he opened the message, opened the photo file… ...and was treated to an absolutely stunning vision.  There was Lucy in a rather racy lingerie set. Black silk and lace. A pushup bra and a low-rise thong, accompanied by a cheeky message. “New set...you like?” Oh yeah, he liked, alright.He sent back a single word.“Wow.” She didn’t reply right away. That’s when he realized something was, well, amiss. His suspicion was confirmed when her response came through.“Oh my GOD wrong convo. I meant to send that to my bffs. Sorry sorry sorry!” She was mortified. Aw, poor girl... Natsu got an idea.“It’s fine. I like seeing that side of you. Let’s make it even, though.” “...you like it? And what do you mean, make it even?”He leaned back on his bed, grinned, snapped a pic, and sent it to her. “Fair’s fair ;)” At first he wondered if he scared her off, since she didn’t respond. When she did..she was clearly impressed. “Well...that explains why you always wear baggy pants ;)” One message made him blush. How could she be so adorable and sexy all at once? “Duh. ;) Just know you can always be yourself with me, sexy-as-hell selfies and all.” “Thanks, Natsu. I should go to sleep, tho. I can barely keep my eyes open. Talk tomorrow, k?”“Of course. Night, Luce. Sweet dreams.”A kiss emoji was her last message of the night. From that point on, things seemed to change between the two. To be clear it wasn’t a bad change. In fact, Natsu thought it was an improvement. Lucy was becoming more open and flirty with him, whether they were on a date, in the gym, or texting at the end of a long day. They had known each other for a little over a month, and had gotten into a routine. Chat and flirt at the gym on the days Lucy taught her class, go on dates every Saturday. Then Lucy caught Natsu by surprise by sending him spicy little snapshots every night accompanied by the same three word message: “Just for you… * kiss*”   The first night she was wearing an outfit that reminded him of a librarian...well, except for the way her top was unbuttoned to reveal a flash of black lace bra and the curve of her breasts. On another night she was laying down in a silky nightgown that accented her form perfectly.One night he was treated to the sight of his gorgeous girlfriend’s body barely wrapped in a towel, offering him a teasing glimpse of generous underboob and soft freshly washed skin, skin he wanted to kiss and touch more with each passing day. Late Thursday night, she surprised him yet again with a text. “Rough day?” “Yeah. Ugh. Board meetings suck.” “I feel that. Here. Maybe this’ll make you feel better...” Accompanied by a rather large download file. Curious, he clicked it...then realized it wasn’t one pic, but several. The folder was titled “Yoga Fun.” Yeah, he liked the sound of that. There was Lucy in a tight tank top and shorts that hugged that beautiful ass of hers, doing a variety of sexy yoga poses that succeeded in taking his breath away and sending blood straight to his cock. He couldn’t, wouldn’t stop looking at the utterly erotic vision before him. Then his phone buzzed again. “What do you think?” He responded with a pic of his own, showing one hand stroking over the growing bulge in his sweats. Buzz buzz. Another photo file showing her in the bath, her completely bare body covered in nothing but warm water and bubbles. “Mm, yummy. Now to enjoy a nice bath. More tomorrow...” Followed by a wink and a heart. That night Natsu gave in to temptation. He let his imagination wander as he flipped through Lucy’s photos, his fantasies focusing on what he would very much enjoy doing with the voluptuous blonde. At this point the sexual tension between the two was as thick as fog. They were clearly both head over heels for one another, both pretty damn sure they were going to hook up at some point… but the question was, when? The answer turned out to be sooner than either expected. The next night, after some pretty intense flirtation and a goodbye kiss that included him grabbing her sweet little ass in the middle of Fairy Tail’s evening rush, Natsu got a message. “Want to play with me tonight?” The accompanying image made his mouth water. She lay on her back in a rather skimpy ensemble consisting of a cupless bra and low-cut lacy panties. Her free hand, the one not holding the camera, stroked over her bare skin. Her hair was down, flowing freely around her, and there was a sinfully inviting look on her face. There was only one acceptable answer here. “YES.” “Good. What’cha wearing?” For once words failed him and he went for the direct approach, took a hopefully appealing selfie showing off chest and low-hanging sweatpants, and sent it to her. Her response sent his heart racing. “Yummy, but a bit overdressed, yes?” “If you say so...” He paused, flung his sweatpants off, took another pic. “Is that better, babe?” “Getting there. I’ll give you a special treat if you lose the boxers, Dragon Prince.” One single text sent his pulse racing. Was she serious?! Gods, he hoped so… He also didn’t want to keep Lucy waiting, not with such an intriguing promise hanging in the air. So off went the boxers. He grasped his cock and snapped another photo, hoping she would like what he had to offer. By the looks of it, she was quite impressed. “Dragon is right. I’d love to ride that...” Accompanied by a wink. He blushed. For several moments there was silence. Natsu wondered if Lucy had forgotten about this special treat… then his phone buzzed, indicating a received video file… That video file… holy shit, it was hotter than anything he had ever had the privilege of witnessing. Lucy was on her knees on her bed. Her legs were parted, and she ran her hands through her hair. The whole time she was flashing a sexy little smile at the camera. Her hands roamed. They cupped and squeezed her generous tits, and fingers brushed over perky, berry pink nipples. Holy shit she’s fucking perfect… He couldn’t, wouldn’t, take his eyes off of her, slowly pumping his cock as the video continued. Her hands wandered downward, stroking over her tummy and lower. She did a little shimmy dance as she hooked both thumbs into the waistband of those tiny panties, tugged down, exposing silky skin and a bare hint of blonde hair… “Natsu...” Her seductive whisper made his cock twitch. He grasped harder, eagerly anticipating what was next, wanting to see her most intimate regions… ...but the video stopped there. Knowing Lucy, this was deliberate. She did like teasing, after all. He sent her a video of his own, showing her exactly what he thought of her special treat. “More please?” “Of course…*kiss emoji* You know… I think of you when I touch myself…and I feel like playing tonight...” “Oh? I’d like to see that.” “You can if you want...vid chat, maybe?” “Yes please.” The text went through and perhaps a minute later Natsu’s laptop beeped. Incoming video request. He did a flying leap over to his computer desk, perched himself in the chair so he was comfortable and visible to the camera, and accepted the request. There was Lucy, beaming up at him in all her beautiful glory. He could see her a lot clearer now, thanks to the larger screen. Her skin looked so soft, supple, glistening with a fine mist of sweat. “Ready, Natsu?” “You bet,  Lucy. Let’s play.” His voice was dark and low, practically a growl. The sound gave her a sweet chill. Playing with him was going to be fun… “Alright...” Soft giggle. She bit her lip, gazing up at him with those big brown eyes as she tugged her panties off and let them fall to the ground. One hand shifted between her legs, parting her lips so he could see easier. “You like this, Natsu?” A purr as she traced fingers over her clit and those delicate pink folds. “I love it, Lucy...” Definitely a growl as he grasped and pumped. His breath caught in his throat as he watched her pull out a vibrator from under her pillow and gently trace it over her skin, taking the same path her fingers had taken moments before. “Shit...I wish that was me...” “And I wish you were...right... here...” She slipped the toy into her pussy, then let it buzz away as she fucked herself. Her voice got a little higher. She sounded a bit like a video girl when she moaned, except those girls had absolutely nothing on his goddess. “Babe, if I were there you wouldn’t have to play with that damn toy...” “Ohh...really… what, mnn, what would you do to me if you were here?” “Anything you wanted.” Fuck, the thought of really being with her was making his already impressive erection even bigger. “I think I’d lay you on that soft bed of yours, warm your entire body up with my mouth, then take my time pleasuring and fucking you until we were both completely satisfied.” “That sounds like heaven. Mnnn...” The toy was drenched, and he could see her horny juices leaking from her folds as she humped her hips, one hand pinching and tweaking her nipples. “Na...Natsu...” “Go on, Lucy-baby.” He caught a glimpse of her nodding in response. Then she moved the toy up to rub little circles against her clit...and immediately cried out. “Ohh….Natsuuuuuu!” Her entire body trembled in utter ecstasy, all for him. Natsu kept pumping, fueling his own passion with the thought of being buried deep inside her, imagining her milking his cock as she came… “Lu...Lucy….!!!” One last mighty pump brought forth a spattering mess of his seed. Given the circumstances, he couldn’t say he cared. It’d get cleaned up eventually. “That...that was fucking amazing...” “M-hm. It was...” Big happy sigh. “Hey Natsu?” “Yeah?” “I’m gonna hop in the shower. I’ll call you when I get out, alright?” “Alright. Take your time, baby.” A giggle as she blew a kiss, then the screen went blank. She did indeed take her time. He had time to get cleaned up and was loafing on his bed, this goofy happy smile on his face. He had also had time to send a message to the company’s merchandiser requesting that a Dragneel Fund hoodie be sent to a certain bookshop that next morning along with a large bouquet of flowers, which explained part of that goofy smile. Ring Ring They exchanged some sweet talk followed by the comfortable pause of two people very much in love. Then Lucy sighed. “What’s up? Everything’s good with us, right?”“Everything’s wonderful. I was just thinking, that’s all.” “Thinkin’?” “Yeah...” Was it his imagination or did her voice falter here? “I...I think I love you, Natsu. Isn’t that crazy? I mean, we haven’t exactly known each other very long...”“That’s not crazy, Lucy.” His voice was low, soft. He was imagining holding her close as they talked, maybe even running a hand through her hair. “You’re not the type of girl who’d be so open and sexy with someone unless you really cared for ‘em.” “...how do you get me so well?” “Because I love you, duh.” Too late to take the words back now, not like he wanted to. “It’s weird. This whole thing started out as a big physical attraction but the more we’re together, the more I’m around you, the more I realize it’s gotta be love.” Sniffle, sniffle.“Lucy? Are...you crying?” “Y..yeah, a little. Because I’m happy. You...you make me happy...” Siiiigh. Then,  “I... think I have an idea for our next date.” “Alright. What’s that?” “We could meet at your place and have some, um, private gym time. I could show you some yoga moves in person...” Yoga moves...the implication was clear with the tone of her voice. Oh, they were going to get flexible, all right. “I like the sound of that. Same time, right?” “Yeah.” Yawn. “Sorry. I’m about to fall asleep.” “It’s okay. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Sweet dreams, princess.” “Night, Natsu. Love ya.” Click.That was that. Both fell asleep easily, smiling even in slumber. In the blink of an eye it was Saturday afternoon. Natsu got an early start, heading down to his gym to make sure everything was in order an hour before Lucy was due. Then he started lifting weights, pumping iron until the doorbell rang. There she stood, smiling at him in a slightly oversized hoodie and those same shorts she had teased him with the other night. “Hey, beautiful.” “Hi.” Blush. “Where should I put my bag?” “Anywhere’s fine. I’ll get staff to take it up to my room.” “Okay.” She set the overnight bag down, then made a show of unzipping her hoodie. She peeled it off slowly, flashing him a saucy smile as she revealed a skimpy crop top that accented every curve.Damn…“So, ah, how do we start?”“Watch me and follow my lead.” A quick kiss that would have been chaste were it not for Lucy nibbling his lip. Watching her was no problem, not when the sight of her enthralled his senses. He wasn’t great at yoga, but she was more than willing to help. She brushed her hands against him, giving him subtle hints at how to correct his posture. Eventually she started showed him some more complex poses, more for the sake of showing off for him than anything else. Splits, bending over, even a rather suggestive headstand. Then she felt a warm hand stroke up her thigh. Siiiigh. “That feels good...” “Want some more?” “Yes please.” “Whatever you say. Keep posin’.” And pose she did. She did another headstand, starting with her legs straight up but moving into splits. His hands found her ass, squeezed, then adventurous fingers stroked over the front of her shorts. She blushed, exhaled, didn’t protest. She also didn’t tremble at all, no small feat when she was being intimately fondled. Damn him and his amazing hands. Slowly, carefully, she moved her legs straight upward. “Hold still.” “Okay.” Inhale, exhale. She didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was up to. His hands roamed again, this time tugging her shorts upwards and off her legs. “Oh...Naughty boy.” “Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” Dark chuckle, flash of fang. “I like it...and I think you’d like it if I got rid of some of these clothes.” “You know I would. Show me. Please.” “Anything you want, love.” In one smooth motion Lucy got back on her feet. Then she made a show of peeling her top and sports bra off...a show Natsu watched intently. She didn’t break eye contact, not even as her hands roamed and cupped her now bare breasts. He caught a glimpse of her tongue flicking over lips. Holy shit. “Now what?” “Don’t tell me you’re playing innocent, Natsu...” “No, no way.” Here he reached over, cupped her cheek, smiled at her. “I want you, but I want you to have a say in what we do tonight.” “Oh...okay. In that case...” Her eyes brightened and her smile turned mischievous. “Tie me up.” Not a question, none of her usual shyness. He nodded then wrapped some athletic tape around her wrists. Then he took a good long look at her. There she lay, naked except for those little panties. Those would come off soon enough. First he focused on her bare form, leaving kisses and love bites all over her body. He grabbed and kneaded her ass. She squirmed. Good sign. "Hold still.""Okay..." He tugged her panties off, baring the sweet pink treasure between her thighs.And what a treasure. He gazed at her in reverence. One hand stroked over her tiny tuft of soft blonde hair."Damn, Lucy. You're perfect.""Thanks. Don't be shy, though." Eyes heavy, voice low and sensual. He nodded then turned his full attention to lavishing pleasure on her. Fingers traced over her clit with feather soft touches while his other hand parted her lips oh so gently.She smells incredible... Growl. He leaned in and flicked his tongue against her delicate pink folds. She trembled, quietly begging for more."More" was exactly what he wanted to give her. His free hand stroked her thigh then squeezed her ass. Then he treated her to a spank. She moaned and arched her back. So he did it again, his hand leaving a red mark on her peach skin. Her scent changed, and she was definitely getting wetter. “The cute rich girl has a spanking kink, huh?""Mm-hm.""What if I spank you while I'm eating you? That sound good, Lucy?""Why don't you see for yourself?" She winked and giggled...but then his hand met her ass again and the giggle became a moan.He nibbled her clit. His fingers kept her lips parted as he moved again, letting his tongue trace over her slit. She was a hot, delicious mess: squirming, tits heaving, biting her lip as she begged for more. Another spank. She made an absolutely feral sound, which he took as encouragement to go on.Not that he needed encouragement...His tongue slid into her slick folds, lapping up her delicious wetness. He had wanted to taste her ever since they had played together on camera, and reality exceeded his expectations. She was a goddess, and her pussy tasted like heaven. He wanted nothing more than to savor her, to satisfy her over and over...He also wanted to carry her up to his bedroom, pin her down to his bed, and bury himself so deliciously deep inside her...Well, that would happen soon enough. She shifted, draping her long legs over his shoulders, spreading to give him better access. He slipped two fingers into her, fucking her with his hand as he licked and nibbled. He hit a certain spot. She shuddered.“Ahhhh!” Aha!He hit it again, rubbing what had to be her g-spot with increased pressure. "Holy shit Natsu just like that....mnnnnh...yes..." Another nibble, another thrust. Lucy didn’t just moan Natsu’s name. She screamed it as her body was rocked by a glorious orgasm complete with a spray of her juices. Never had he ever made a girl squirt before, but no other girl was quite like his Lucy… he smiled at the thought as he untied her, feeling her soft hands fluff through his hair as he licked her clean. “Thanks for the snack, babe.” “Mmm, and thank you for the orgasm. I’ve never cum so hard in my life, love.” It amazed him how she could go from delicious temptress to sweet girl next door so quickly, but he could honestly say he loved both sides of her. With that decided he pulled her into a kiss, one he hoped conveyed every bit of feeling he had for her, one she was happy to return. “Let’s go to bed.” The softest of whispers yet so sensual. He nodded, picked her up and carried her to his room. He lay her on his bed with another oh so tender kiss. In all his fantasies he had imagined playing as rough with her as possible, taking her with animalistic fervor. Now that she was in his bed...it didn’t seem right. His Lucy deserved to be pleasured, savored, worshiped. And Natsu was very keen on worshiping her. She helped him shuck his sweatpants off and he got right to work. He kissed and nibbled her body, caressed her soft skin, taking in every reaction. She had to be exhausted from their ordeals down in the gym, but you’d never know it. She writhed with each touch, moaning with each caress and kiss. He nibbled her collarbone while his hands explored her breasts. Soft, smooth, full. He squeezed and kneaded, all while suckling the tiny berry of her nipple. Every so often he switched, mostly to devote equal attention to both sides. Then she let out a sound kinda like a whimper. “Want it, baby?” “I...need it. Please, Natsu...” “Alright. Gimme your hand...” Nod. He clasped her hand and braced himself over her. She wrapped both legs around his waist, her way of encouraging him to make the next move. When he pushed his hard cock into her sweet, damp, depths, the euphoria both felt was audible in their moans and sighs. “Nnnnnh, feels so good, Natsu...” Words couldn’t describe the feeling of finally being one with her, of making love to this woman who meant so damn much to him… They moved together, each motion accented with kisses that raised in intensity as passion heightened. Her hands wandered. He wondered absently if there was a rhyme or reason, or if she just wanted to explore his skin with her fingers. Either way it felt incredible. She felt incredible. He paused mid-thrust, towering breathless over his goddess, gazing at her and seeing her gazing back at him, her eyes amber with love light. “Love ya, Lucy.” “And I love you. Now shh.” Delicate fingers traced over his mouth. Her hand slipped to his cheek and pulled him into a kiss. He got the hint right away and resumed pleasuring her.  So warm, so inviting. So perfect. Minutes...hours...how long did they spend together that night, entwined in passion? Neither cared about time. Being together was all that mattered. Once passion reached its peak and the waves of bliss subsided they lay together kissing and cuddling. They only paused, reluctantly, when Natsu got up claiming a need to pee...which ended up taking longer than Lucy expected. He came back, scooped her up and carried her to the bathroom, settling her into the warm waters of a bath. Then he got in with her and treated her to a kiss. Later on, dried off and cuddling in bed, Lucy grabbed her phone and took a selfie. Natsu quirked his head at her.“For memories.” “Ohh. We’ll have plenty of those.” He kissed her and she knew he meant it. This beautiful night was just the beginning... (Epilogue coming as soon as I can get it written :) )

[whumpywhumper]

Oryn--Part 5

This one is a little heavier on the “world-building” side than the whump but I’m using this one for the “Fevers” slot on my @badthingshappenbingo card

Thanks @0idril0 for looking this over for the eternity that this has been on my computer. Red is completed, yellow is requested, and green has an idea--I need some more requests! 

Link to previous parts: Part One, Two, Three, and Four

Tagging the people who seemed interested in Oryn: @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @fallingstormphoenix @whumpitywhumpwhump @wildfaewhump @whumping-every-day @imagination1reality0 @voidwhump

***

Galen rustled through his bag, pulling bottles out of it and looking at labels. "I think we're going to need to keep a closer eye on this one," he murmured.  

The "one" in question was finally asleep, his whistling breaths drawn through dry and cracked lips. Emrik continued combing through the black, greasy locks under his hand. The Fae needed all of the comfort that he could get. "I think that would be a good idea," he pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a dry chuckle. "That probably took more than a few years off of all of our lives."  

The older man gave a sardonic smile, "An understatement."

Their sleeping charge moaned quietly, and Emrik turn back to him. His face was lax in sleep, the only evidence of pain a small line between his dark brows, just under the cool cloth on his forehead. Sleep changed the Fae’s face from the terrified and pain filled mask that he had first seen. Emrik didn’t think he would ever forget the stark terror in those yellow eyes or the way he had called out for his goddess. 

Now, he looked so young. Young and war torn—a mass of bruises, stitches, and broken bones. Emrik sighed and flipped the cloth to the cool side. He felt a tug on the tattered remains of the dyät knot and nudged back with gentle reassurance, “It’s alright, shhh.” He brushed through the dark hair again before disentangling the knot and releasing the magic. A shudder rolled through him at the release, and he sighed in relief. 

 Galen gave him a concerned look at the noise, "Are you going to be alright? You don’t normally seem to strain like that." 

"I don’t normally have to strain like that,” he muttered, giving the sleeping Fae a considering look. “I'll be fine. I'm just glad I waited until he let me, and I didn't try to force the knot on him." 

The human cocked his head at him with confusion, hands stilling, “You know I don’t know magic, especially your magic, what do you mean?” 

“I mean if I had tried to force him, I wouldn’t have had the power to follow through.” A shrug, “Would’ve knocked me out of commission for a few days, trying to battle it out with him.”

A frown, "I've never heard you put it that way before, lad. Usually, you just do it and everything is fine." 

"Usually, our patients are human," Emrik leaned forward in the chair that he had drug to the bedside, "or lesser seelie. Greater seelie are a whole new game, their grasp of magic is unparalleled. Their access to the weave of lei lines in the world is literally a part of their body, like an extra organ." He sighed and shrugged, "I don't understand all of it. I just know my magic cannot trump his. You humans have found ways around it," he tapped at the cuffs around their poor charge's wrist with a dark look, "for certain things. But I can't." 

Galen gave an equally dark look at the cuffs and collar. “Guess I’ll take your word for it then.” He came over with his bag and pulled the blankets back from his charge’s chest. Black bruises crawled up his sides, equally matched by red welts and stitched cuts. The tube, made from the hollow roots of an astor plant, in the Fae's chest wall had been quickly stitched in place, held against his side with blood tacky bandages and lead down to a glass bottle on the floor. 

His hands were gentle as they could be, but the Fae whimpered as the older man searched for air pockets or other injuries from his fall. “I know, I know, pup, it hurts.” Galen’s voice held a comforting baritone gravel that settled their charge, his weak breaths smoothing into a softer rhythm. 

Emrik shook his head, the corners of his mouth turning downward. “You said Melisandra is coming in the morning, right?”

“Mmmhm, why?” 

“I think she speaks better Saethe than I do, she might be able to talk to him if he wakes up again. He seemed to respond to some of what we said, but I don’t know how well he understands us. Even if he understands us, I don’t know how well he would speak Common.” 

Galen grimaced. “He knows the words ‘please’ and ‘no more’, I can tell you that. He woke up for a few minutes earlier tonight, begged me not to hurt him.” 

“They really did a number on him,” Emrik murmured. He shook his head again, pushing away the melancholy as he stood. “He’s stubborn, hopefully stubborn enough to recover from this. I’m going to go and get you more water.” 

“Thanks.”  

*** 

Oryn woke to the low murmur of voices nearby. There was a cold wet weight over his eyes and arms that caused him to shiver weakly. His bones ached and the slight weight that covered him was too much. It hurt, everything hurt, and he couldn’t stop the quiet whimper that pushed through his chapped lips. The voices near him quieted, and he did his best to breathe normally through his fear and confusion. He didn’t know what was going on, but he knew that the people in the room weren’t actively hurting him. That could change quickly if they knew that he was awake. 

A cool slender hand pressed against his hot cheek, and the Fae flinched, automatically turning his head away, a burbled moan caught in his throat at the spike of pain through his spine. The wet weight—a towel?— slipped from one of his eyes, but he kept it closed. 

“He is so warm,” an accented feminine voice whispered, not appearing to notice that he was awake as the towel was eased back over his eye. “How long has his fever been like this?” 

“The fever started last night,” a gruff vaguely familiar grumble answered, near his hip, “it’s still climbing. Emrik and I are doing everything we can for it, but it’s up to him now.” 

The woman hummed, slender fingers pressing over the wet towel, making cold drops of water track down past his ears. “Did he wake at all?” 

A choked laugh, and he heard the rasp as the man ran his hand over his beard. “For a few minutes. By Tala, he was so scared.” The gruff voice faltered, and he cleared his throat. “The pup toppled off the bed when I went to get water for the fever and split some of his stitches open falling on the floor. Punctured his damn lung. Poor Emrik had to help me calm him.” 

”I saw Emrik when I came in, he’s dead asleep in your foyer.” The woman’s light touch moved across his forehead and carded through Oryn’s still matted hair, catching on the tangles and knots. His fevered skin ached where her fingers touched, hypersensitive to the pull of his hair against his scalp, and he couldn’t suppress the hitch in his breath.  

“Hmph, he said he used a lot of his reserves last night, tried to explain some of the magic to me. Not that I understood it. Meli, I know Emrik is exhausted, but is there anything you can do?” 

Fevered confusion clouded the injured Fae’s thoughts. What?

“I don’t think so, Galen. Our magic doesn’t work the same with them. I haven’t figured out why yet.” The woman‘s chair skittered over the floor as she stood. “Even if he was human, he is very weak right now. I don’t know that he would survive my attempts at healing.” 

“That’s basically what Emrik said,” a thick fingered hand took Oryn’s limp one and covered his swollen fingers with a warm, rough palm. Oryn’s fingers twitched around the larger hand, the hard splints under the manacles causing a twinge through his arm, and the stranger smoothed over them with a soft murmur. “He’s been tortured to within an inch of his life, Meli. Where did your men say they found him?” 

Her men? Who were these people?  Were they Soren’s friends? A dim memory of yelling men with authority in their voices welled up, but it was too tenuous to grasp and examine. 

A quiet rustle of papers across the room marked the woman’s location. “Soren’s, apparently he was searching for some seelie runaways. You know about his fascination with their magic.” 

Oryn felt his insides throb at actually hearing Soren’s name, a sharp inhalation making his ribs tug painfully, and an insistent voice started up in the back of his mind. They’re Soren’s friends. They’re going to hurt me too. They’re just waiting for Soren to come back.

 He barely noticed the other’s fingers stilling over his own.  “Run aways?” the questioned response stressed the plural. “By Tala, will he never learn? Someone needs to teach him there is a reason that the seelie are illegal to own. He is going to cause another war.” 

A sharp sigh.  “I’m not sure he hasn’t. The run aways were, apparently, on the border of the Leander Ridge when this one was captured. I don’t think the Queen’s forces were able to find the others after we got our report from Soren’s informant.” 

Oryn felt his heart start to drum against his ribs, a spike of dread lancing through his gut. They were hunting the other seelie too. That’s why they were treating him, because Soren hadn’t gotten the information from him. 

She continued with an ironic lilt to her voice that made Oryn tense further. “Besides, and I have no idea how he did it, but this little pup killed him as my Inquisitors broke the door down. So I guess we don’t have to worry about teaching Soren any lessons in the the future.” 

“I’m sorry, he what?!” Shock colored the male’s voice as Oryn’s hand was placed back on the covers.    

The Fae felt a wave of alarmed confusion start to roil and churn within him. Dead? A fog of pained memory boiled up, the sharp press of a knife against his abdomen, a brief, sweet flash of hope. But nothing else. He killed Soren? 

Meli laughed as she answered, and the Fae’s frantic mind turned it into a sharp, cacophic peel of noise. “You heard me, Galen. Soren cracked his head on the floor, and it turned his brain to jelly. The only reason I know it was your dark haired charge, and not some sort of freak stroke, is that one of the lesser seelies could feel the knot.” 

“But, how? This has to be one of the most magically restrained seelie I’ve ever come across, how did he even manage to scrape together the magic to form a knot?” 

“I’m not—“ she cut herself off and there was the soft slip of fabric against fabric. Oryn felt the woman’s presence leaning over him again before there were slender fingers at his throat, over his collar, over the pounding pulse in his throat. “Galen,” she murmured, softly, “I think he’s awake.” 

Oryn’s chest hurt, and he realized he’d forgotten to control his breathing, small wheezes for air making his broken ribs scream with pain. Panic flared, and he choked on a whimper when he sensed the male leaning over him as well, the masculine presence strong and looming. Celünie, please. Please, don’t hurt me. Soren was going to hurt the boy. He was so young. Please. 

“Oh, lad,” Galen murmured, “shhhh, easy, it’s okay.” 

It wasn’t okay. Oryn didn’t know who these people were, and they were touching him, and he didn’t feel good, and everything hurt. He gave up playing at sleep and tipped his head back into the pillow, shifting, gasping as a throbs of pain pounded through him. Wanting to get away from the hand at his throat, the potential punishment. He tried to move his legs, needed to flee, but he moaned weakly when a jolt of pain crashed through his body like lightning. Traveling from the broken bones and into the shorn muscles in his abdomen. 

“Shhh, myonik, shhhh,” the woman soothed in Sæthe, “we are not going to hurt you.” Her fingers moved from his throat to brush against his hair in a deceptively gentle caress, another hand trying to cup his cheek.  

Oryn didn’t believe her. Didn’t believe any of these humans with their promises and gentle hands. They’d been gentle before too. But he’d killed Soren, and they wanted to punish him. Hurt him. Make him scream. 

His body was so heavy, and it was agony to move, every tiny muscle contraction telling him to stay still. But he didn’t want them to touch him. The damp cloth slid off of his face when he shook his head, rejecting the hand against his cheek, dull pounding starting up behind his eyes. The heat of the fever flared without the coolness of the cloth, and he whined, eyelids sliding open to search the blurry shapes over him. 

Two people hovered, the bright light making them dark, indistinguishable shadows to the brightness of the room. He flinched back with a tight gasp of air, trying to raise his arms in a defensive posture, but the heavy appendages were easily caught in strong hands. His wrists throbbed even in the light grip, and the square, broad hands controlled him without any trouble. Ignoring his whimpers of protest, the man crossed his wrists across his stomach so that Oryn could be pressed back into the mattress by his other hand.  

“Don’t move, lad,” Galen ordered, false kindness in his voice, “you’re very sick and very hurt. You need to stay still.” 

Oryn’s struggles weakened, and he shuddered, the fear of disobeying overcoming his trembling limbs. His tongue was heavy and unwieldy in his mouth, but he swallowed thickly, trying to force his eyes to focus. “Dä. . . därog. . .il. . .il a.  . . “ His voice was a hoarse, thin rasp that wavered on the plea, and his dry throat closed on any additional words as he panted for air. 

“Shhh, be calm,” the woman said in Saethe, the lilt of his native tongue falling easily from her lips. The woman leaned further in, the hand in his hair sliding back to cradle his head as a cup was placed against his lips. “Drink, myonik.” Her angular face finally came in to focus, but her expression was unreadable to the exhausted Fae. 

Blinking his gritty eyes fitfully, Oryn turned away from the sloshing liquid in the cup, an incoherent croak all he could manage. His throat was so dry, but these humans would hurt him, wanted to punish him for Soren. Wanted to know where his friends went. He didn’t know what was in the cup. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want it. 

He couldn’t stop the hiccuping sob that slid out of his mouth as he squeezed his eyes closed. Please, I don’t want it. 

“Shh, shh, shh, okay, okay.” The cup left his lips, and he sobbed harder when something skimmed across his cheek softly. “I know you’re scared, shhhh, it’s okay.” 

“Oh pup, don’t cry.” Galen’s hands softened their restraining grip, his thumbs rubbing circles into his skin. 

Oryn exhausted himself quickly, his breaths coming in hitching, shaky sobs and gasps as the woman continued carding through his hair, murmuring softly. “You aren’t going to be hurt, I promise. You’re being taken care of; you’re safe, now. Shhh.” His eyelids fluttered weakly, unable to fully unshutter themselves, and he swallowed past the dryness in his mouth. 

“This is just water, we aren’t going to hurt you, but you need to drink, little one.” The woman raised his head again as she pressed the cup back to his mouth, and Oryn couldn’t fight against the cool liquid as it poured past his chapped lips. Pure, sweet water touched his tongue, and it soaked it up like a sponge in the desert. Swallowing fitfully, he sighed as the water soothed his parched throat, and she helped him drink until she pulled the cup away. 

The Fae was drifting on fatigue, the rattle of things in the room making him jerk and whine, as the woman lowered his head back down. “Galen, is that too much water?” 

“That should be enough for now,” Galen murmured, making Oryn shudder as new cool rags were drawn down his arms and across his neck. “He needs all of the fluids he can get, but we can’t have him drinking too fast.” 

“Okay. . . “ Fingers carded through his hair again before she continued in Saethe, “Sleep now, myonik, we will talk when you feel better.” 

Oryn whimpered, head ticking to the side as he forced himself to stay awake.  He wanted to explain, maybe they’d have mercy if he explained. “D’rog. . . “ he slurred, wavering “. . .S’ren. . .” 

“Hush, you don’t have to worry about Soren. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you here. Sleep.” 

The Fae did the only thing he could and obeyed, dark completely overtaking him.