#i cannot imagine 5k tho

[rapidhighway]

Bro how is it even fucking possible to produce a food that like, has more calories than a single human can use in a whole day. Like a single meal. And you WILL get hungry later and you will have to eat later. How is it possible to make a meal like that. Bro how is this allowed

[bookinit02]

LMAO i just saw this girl on tiktok write out her dream lifestyle and how much she would need to make for it. and she got 215k a year. so just for fun i was like ok let me throw out some crazy numbers. the most extravagant life that i can imagine living. and it came out to 50k a year😭

[httpsserene]

𝐡𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐟𝟏 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝟑: 𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠

📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: your boyfriend has to make an appearance at some sponsor event. he's gone ahead and bought you an alluring outfit, but he failed to mention how seductive he looks in the new fitted suit his team got him. you two won't be staying long, but you increase the pace by riling him up, mostly unintentionally. so it's your fault that he makes you ruin his loaned mclaren. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. explicit. squirting. car sex. semi-public sex. ooc (out-of-character) oscar. overstimulation. mild possessive behavior. mild jealousy. vaginal fingering. vaginal sex. condom usage. the audacity of men. lando norris’ savior complex /jk. author’s overuse of italics and run-on sentences. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5k words 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!black!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: water • tyla

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: what can i say, y'all. back at it with the unhinged thirst. every time i do one of these, they've been getting shorter and shorter. don't be afraid, for #4 (dr/mv) i'll be back on my game, they deserve it. yes gremlin lando appearance. also, i cannot imagine oscar ever acting this way, that's why i put the ooc tag? it's definitely a fun read tho (i think), along with the smut! thank you, loves, for the support on this event!

want to be added to my general taglist? or my f1 kinktober taglist? send me an ask!

thank you to my betas! @biancathecool for helping with my grammer and @barnestatic for her wonderful spoiled brat idea :))))

cross-posted on my ao3, httpsss

if you want to look at what i'm planning for ktober, or catch up on previous uploads here's my f1 kinktober masterlist and my general masterlist for all of my works!

oscar is known for his unfazed, composed and collected demeanor. he’s aware that some people say he has no personality–but, he’s just an introvert at the end of the day. oscar’s a man of few words: that’s what people who aren’t well acquainted with him would say. if you’ve had the pleasure of sticking around oscar long enough for him to become comfortable with you, you’ll learn that oscar has an incredibly complex personality. he’s overly sarcastic, has a niche sense of humor, and can ramble endlessly at you. but, he’s still a fairly calm and quiet individual. which is why the way oscar is about to scream at the top of his lungs in the middle of this mclaren event, would be considered uncharacteristic of him.

he originally invited you to join him tonight thinking that having you by his side would eliminate the social exhaustion he experiences at these types of sponsor events. however, the aussie failed to realize that you may introduce a…different problem, to tonight’s business party. when oscar asked you to join him two weeks ago, he was prepared for all of your objections–you’re both chronic homebodies, and you both hate partaking in small talk with balding, later-aged, cologne-drenched, white men who don’t know when to let a conversation die. he chose the perfect time to ask you (after you emerged from the bathroom post-self-care bath), and addressed all of your grievances. 

oh, you don’t have anything to wear? he already bought you an outfit, had it altered to perfectly fit your measurements, and bought you a pair of heels and a purse to match. oh, you won’t be able to get your hair done in time? he already scheduled an appointment with your usual hairstylist the day before the event, paid all of her fees, and tipped her very nicely. oh, your nails aren’t done?  he booked you a spot at your preferred nail salon for a premium mani-pedi, and has a few nail inspiration photos picked out if you can’t decide. if you need your lashes done or need to get waxed, he can make the call right now; he has them on standby to fit you in.

knowing the amount of phone calls oscar had to partake in to arrange all of this causes you to fold and agree to join him. there’s nothing more the two of you hate than making phone calls–well, besides the pr events.

oscar had chosen an alluring burnt-orange mesh corset and matching ruched ankle-length skirt that looks beautiful against your warm, soft and shining brown skin. your hair is silk-pressed, length reaching your mid-back and your edges are laid in a minimal manner, matching the simplicity of your makeup look. simple gold rings are spread across a few fingers, ears accessorized with a pair of small good hoops oscar gifted you, and his initials rest in the dip between your clavicles attached to a thin gold chain. objectively, you're considerably modestly dressed, the only skin you're showing is on your arms, shoulders, a smidge of your decolletage, and the tops of your feet in the low-heeled strappy sandals. 

this is the start of what oscar failed to account for. he didn’t expect the outfit to hug your curves like plastic wrap. the whole night he’s had to forcefully deny himself the opportunity to stare at your ass, but that doesn’t mean the other men at the event have the same courtesy. he’s taken to burning holes with his eyes into anybody who lets their gaze linger over your form for a second too long. on a regular day, oscar is generally unaffected by anyone who appreciates your body (they can look, but the second they try to touch–you let them know exactly how they had you fucked up), but if he catches one more mclaren engineer undressing you with their eyes–he will make zac fire all of them; he’ll plan his own race strategy and do his goddamn pitstop by himself.

oscar also didn’t account for how your timid and sweet attitude would have everyone enamored with you; at first, watching everyone eagerly attune to your shy words was amusing to him, but it quickly became a nuisance. he was originally leading you around the room, doing his rounds at any important figures’ tables, and everything was fine. and then, oscar had made the obvious mistake of making you laugh–a pleasant stream of giggles spilling from your lips, dimples deepening, and smile widening at whatever small joke he made. he’s always thrilled to see how you throw your head back in amusement, how your hands clap together gleefully, and how your eyes squint in from the force of your laughter. as he shakes himself out of your dazzling trance, he attempts to rejoin the conversation–but every single person at the table remains entranced and wide-eyed at you. 

this would be completely fine, of course, if it was a one-off occasion; but it’s not. 

suddenly, every person oscar tries to thank for supporting mclaren, starts ignoring him and paying more attention to you. he’s literally the pilot of the car that these people are spending an absurd amount of money on, but they can’t even bother to try and pretend to listen to him. men and women alike are finding any excuse to prolong conversations with you, and even lean within your personal space with the excuse that ‘they can’t hear you very well because you’re so soft spoken.’ nobody can invade your personal space, but oscar. he has no choice but to do the very thing he hates–pda. you continue to circle around the room, his hand constantly resting on the small of your back or the dip of your waist. when you’re in the middle of listening to some completely unnecessary story a man is telling you, oscar constantly adjusts your hair, plays with your rings, and smooths down your skirt if he feels like they’re trying too hard. you banish oscar to getting you a glass of water when he begins to interject in conversations in a passive-aggressive manner.

his third strike off the night, might actually be an overall win in his books. when you saw oscar in his new fitted suit, you stared him dead in the eye and told him to ‘get naked and rail you’. it’s this beautiful deep cream color that pairs perfectly with the dark orange tone of your outfit, but the vest underneath the suit jacket highlights his tiny waist so clearly that it makes you want to scream. in between socializing, you overwhelm oscar with compliments, unable to stop telling him how handsome he looks. you surgically attach yourself to his side and hug his arm; taking an occasional squeeze of his bicep, playing with his cufflinks, and tracing the veins on the back of his hand. oscar practically runs to get you a refill of water because he’d be unable to stop himself from getting fully hard if you touched him any longer–the trousers hide nothing.

he can feel your burning gaze from across the room, and turns back to watch you after asking a waiter for water, and catches your eyes roaming the length of his body. in high-definition, he sees your tongue wetting your lips before you bite at your bottom lip–and then, your attention is stolen away from some random man who’s introducing himself to you and the group of ladies you found yourself accosted by as soon as oscar left your side.

and, that’s it for oscar. he thinks he may have heard his last-fucking-button being pressed inside his head, and seethes. he goes to push off from his leaned stance against the counter and makes to start his warpath, but a hand grasps at his shoulder. oscar turns around snappily, biting out an irritated and sarcastic, “can i help you?”

“woah! calm down now, mate. thought you were going to bite my head off for a second,” it’s lando, “if i were anybody else i’m sure there would be an unfortunate tabloid of ‘how oscar piastri is the most rude f1 driver on the grid’” lando jokes teasingly, yet a hint of seriousness leaks into his tone. 

oscar nods, understanding the underlying warning within the brit’s teasing. he apologizes softly to lando, before glancing back over at you, and can infer that you charmingly informed the man that you have a boyfriend—based on the way you point in his direction. oscar watches the polite smile fade from your face as the man continues to bother you, and the murderous look rises to his face again.

“OKAY”, lando claps abruptly, startling not only oscar, but everyone in a 10 foot radius. lando waves everyone else’s eyes away, smiling like he didn’t do anything, and speaks underneath his breath, “go. i’ll cover for you.”

oscar’s mouth drops open, baffled, “what?”

“leave—get your girlfriend and go,” lando says matter-of-factly, his smile becoming genuine, “zac probably won’t like to hear that you looked particularly murderous, and he definitely won’t like hearing that you slaughtered our sponsors, and that i let it happen.”

oscar snorts before he thanks lando sincerely, and the brit dismisses him, “i’m just looking out for my rookie teammate as the senior driver for our team. i can’t let your horny teenage mindset become common knowledge to our esteemed guests.”

“first of all,” oscar says dryly, his grateful mood dissipating at the mocking, “i didn’t even know you knew the word ‘esteemed' existed,” lando scoffs, “and secondly, you are literally only two years older than me.”

lando looks at oscar with a blank stare and deadpans, “do you want to leave or not?”

oscar daps up his teammate in farewell, and makes his way over to you as quickly as he can without seeming desperate, your glass of water left behind on the counter. your back is facing him as he approaches and you're still unwillingly participating in conversation with the man who can’t take no for an answer. as he gets closer, he can piece together the conversation; the dude doesn’t believe you have a boyfriend and you must be lying to him, and you’re adamant that your boyfriend is very real.

“look, bro. even if i was lying about having a boyfriend, why would i give you my number now? like, i’m just supposed to forget how you’ve been harassing me—“

oscar rests his hand on your side, and when you turn your head to see who’s touching you, he leans down and kisses you. it’s a kiss deep enough to let everyone know who you’re leaving with tonight, but not deep enough to be salacious (he can hear lando’s cackle from the other side of the room).

you melt into his kiss before he pulls away, leaving you dazed and disoriented, stumbling into him. oscar drapes his left arm around your shoulder, guiding you to tuck into his side, while he offers his right hand to the offending man for a handshake. “it seems i haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you yet. i’m oscar, i drive for mclaren,” he introduces himself, sounding overly pleased.

the man angers, ignoring oscar’s extended hand and cockily states, “you should already know who i am. my family nicely lent you the mclaren you drove here tonight!”

“ah,” oscar smiles viciously, “if ‘your family’ kindly lent me the car, that would explain why i only remember your father’s name–and not his arrogant, disrespectful, and narcissistic trust-fund son’s name.”

the man stomps his foot in rage, like a spoiled brat, and questions, “who do you think you’re talking too?!”

oscar smirks, “nobody important, apparently,” (one of the ladies listening whispers a quiet ‘damn, that’s crazy’), oscar continues, “don’t worry, mate–i’ll make sure your father’s car returns home to him safely. should i bill you for any cleaning, in case i make a mess of it?”

the guy stumbles over a response before he scoffs and stomps away. oscar shrugs uncaring, before addressing the group of ladies who were cliqued to the side watching the whole interaction, “well. if you all don’t mind, i’m just going to steal her away from you ladies, if that’s okay?” (like there’s an option). the ladies fawn over oscar’s protectiveness before they let the two of you go, and then he starts herding you towards the exit.

it’s torture. in every five steps the two of you take, you're interrupted by various guests trying to catch you one last time. oscar feels like they’re all intentionally aggravating him; patting you on the arm, commenting on how eye-catching you look, and using the fact that the two of you are leaving to press a kiss to your hand in goodbye. you two burst out of the main doors and sigh in relief, for different reasons–for you, it’s because oscar didn’t give one of his sponsors brain damage, and for oscar, it’s because he’s one step closer to getting you in his bed.

you grasp at oscar’s hand, and he starts to lead you down the steps towards the valet, and as you fall into step at his side, you speak softly under your breath, “i can understand why you kissed me like that inside because the dude was being an asshole–even though you were marking your territory like some kind of dog–but, please; don’t tear this poor man’s throat out for helping me into the car.”

the australian remains quiet, properly chastised and works on releasing the pent up effect of the annoyances from inside the venue. everything is going well; the valet asks oscar for his parking ticket, and he goes to grab the keys, but stops just before he makes to start heading to the car, and turns back to you two and says, “i don’t know if i told you when you walked in but–you look incredibly beautiful tonight, miss. you could be a model, seriously. like, you should feel so lucky to have a woman like her–”

all attempts of oscar finding his peace are thrown out of the window. he interrupts the dude’s rambling, and bites out, “hey man, y’know what. i can just take the keys to the car. we can walk to it.”

the valet stutters, confused, “a-are you sure, i mean it’s like pretty far in the back. i can run and get it no pro–”

“it’s FINE! i mean, it’s cool, we can use the extra steps, y’know. enjoy the breeze and everything,” oscar says, slightly maniacal. there’s no breeze, it’s warm. the valet’s and your eyes meet for a second and a shared thought of “he’s trippin” is passed telepathically.

the valet concedes, not wanting to upset the f1 driver any farther and tosses him the keys. as the two of you are passing by, oscar hands the man a bill that’s probably too big based on the man’s astonished gasp. you call out to the man, continuing to walk further in the lot, “sorry about him! he just gets a little touchy about strangers driving his car, y’know?” oscar grumbles lowly next to you, and you smack him on the arm, “what did you want me to say? ‘oh sorry, my boyfriend just wants to fuck me really badly to soothe his needless jealousy?’”

“as long as he knows who’s the one who gets to take you home and fuck you.”

“oscar!” you squeak, “we both know we’d die of embarrassment if you said that. i can’t even imagine those words coming out of your mouth, in that order.”

you guys eventually puzzle out where the car is after several remote beeps of the car’s horn, and find that it’s literally tucked away in the last row, far corner with no surrounding cars for two rows.

oscar doesn’t open your door like he usually does, and leads you around to the driver's side. he opens the door, pushes the seat back as far as it goes, and sits down. without saying anything, he loosens his tie and goes to unbuckle his belt before you reach down and grab at his hand, bewildered, “oscar jack! what the fuck are you doing?”

he blinks, “i’m fucking you, right now. it’s too long of a drive back—i’m going to crash the car if you keep sitting next to me in that goddamn outfit. i was going to take you to the bathroom inside, but i figured you’d at least prefer the car. you can be a little louder here.”

your mouth dries, “you said they loaned you an incredibly rare, vintage mclaren, babe. i’m not gonna-“

oscar wrestles his way out of his suit jacket, spreads it underneath him on the leather seat, and pats his lap. “problem solved.”

shifting your weight, you glance around nervously. oscar is right, you would prefer the car over the bathroom. all those people inside who could overhear, gossip, and spread the news of how rookie mclaren, f1 driver, oscar piastri, had you yelling his name in the middle of an event. you’d pass.

“oh, c’mon now, babe. you didn’t think i saw the way you were eating me alive with your eyes inside,” your boyfriend teases, “i know you‘ve at least gotten a little wet for me already, haven’t you?”

that’s all it takes; the australian acting possessive and feening to get inside you is more than enough to have you straddling his lap and pulling the car door shut with a slam.

oscar tugs you into dirty make out, and you get lost in his pink lips, tugging teeth, and explorative tongue. the last of your breath tapers out in a reedy moan, and you break the kiss to pant against his lips, and oscar laughs. his laughter spreads through your chest, and it has your hips rolling against the bulge you feel underneath you. his amusement is cut off, and his hands fly to grip at your hips. he starts tugging you against him in a filthy grind, and choked off moans from the two of you start to fill the car.

you press kisses to oscar’s jaw line, paving a path down to his wide strong neck with your tongue. you suck on small patches of skin, not using enough suction to leave a mark, but enough for oscar to become aware of the fantasization that you could. the aussie gasps at every random suckle of your lips as he scrambles to pull the skirt up your legs. you shift your hips up to make it easier for him, as your hands feel down his torso to his belt. it unbuckles fairly easily, and you shove it out of the way, to unzip the slacks and pull his cock out.

oscar moans, throwing his head back at the feel of your hand on his length, and you get entranced in the trap that his pale thick neck is, again. you hum against his neck, introducing teeth alongside the ache of the suction of your mouth, and bully the collar of his shirt out of the way to find a space to leave a few marks. oscar’s breath freezes at the first hickey he feels you leave, but the rapid inhale he takes next clears his mind enough to have his right hand pull your panties to the side, and move to caress your heat.

you shudder on top of him, your breathy sigh amplified within the car. oscar sinks two fingers inside of you, and a much louder moan is tugged out. your hands fly up to grasp onto his shoulder, and your head tilts backward away from his neck in pleasure. his fingers thrust into you gently for a few beats slowly working to open you up for him and once he feels your cunt starting to relax, his thumb reaches to press at your clit. whines fill the air, as you lean all the way back, resting your back on the steering wheel allowing oscar all the space he needs to stretch you out. his fingers start curling as they drag out of you, and you can feel the pads of his fingers rubbing over a soft spot on the front of your walls. 

oscar’s eyes were stuck marveling over the overwhelmed expression on your face, but once he starts feeling wetness dripping down his arm he glances down, and curses out a rough, “fuck, baby—you’re dripping all over me.” your cheeks burn hot, and you can’t tell if that’s out of humiliation or the effect of his awe-filled voice. your right hand releases his shoulder, and bats at his arm, before tugging at his wrist to pull his fingers out, “that’s enough, mmm, just get in me already.”

oscar eagerly draws away; he uses his clean hand to tug his wallet out of his back pocket, and tugs a condom out with a smidge of struggle before handing it to you. you snatch it out of his hand, biting it open and rolling it over his cock, and once it’s on, you tease, “jeez, osc. you really were planning on jumping me in the middle of the event tonight—grabbing a condom and everything; you think i’m that easy?”

he chuckles, satisfied, his hand drenched in your wetness rubbing over his cock to get him slick, and teases back, “you’re about to ride my cock in the parking lot of said event, pretending to be worried about ruining the seats of this vintage car. i’m not calling you easy, but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared, does it?”

your cheeks are definitely burning from humiliation this time around, but you huff, ignoring him checking you. you tug his hand away, raising your hips, and guide him to your entrance with your own hand, before slowly sinking down. 

twin sets of moans fill the air as he bottoms out; one of his hands reaches to palm at your ass (it’s sticky, so it must be the one he fingered you with), and the other grips at your waist tightly. you squirm on top of him, knees barely managing to find enough room to prop on the seat to give you a stable base. once you feel stable in your cramped position, you give a testing grind of your hips, and from there, it’s lights out.

oscar lets you set the pace for a few thrusts, suffering in the languid rock of your hips; you’re torturously tight around him, and he can only groan at the feeling of you wrapped around him. his chest heaves, before he brings both hands to halt your hips, and starts fucking up into you rough and quick. a scream jostles out of your throat at the unexpected change of speed, but you just take it with no complaints, allowing yourself to go limp against the wheel of the car to hold your body upright. he moves your body for you, pulling you downwards to meet his upward thrusts; and you feel him constantly applying pressure against that one tender spot right under your navel.

your boyfriend revels in the sound of the moans he’s punching out of your throat, admiring the way your head is thrown back—mouth open wide, eyes scrunched tight, lips bruised and bitten to hell. it’s a lewd picture, painted by himself. the car rocks along to his frantic rhythm, windows fogging, and sweat begins to form on both of your skin. the aussie’s core tightens; he won’t last much longer, you’ve had him half-hard the whole night.

a frustrated grunt escapes oscar, and you hum questionably about to ask what’s wrong–but his right hand leaves your waist to furiously start circling your clit, and an ear piercing shriek leaves you. “c’mon now, babe. ah-be good and come f’me yeah? im so close, baby–please,” he babbles, the last shred of sanity leaving him. his hips don’t falter once–to you it feels like they’re moving quicker, every sensitive spot receiving attention from the sharp snaps of them.

you cry out, it’s all too much; your hand reaches down to press against his navel in a feeble attempt to stop him from stroking so deep and roughly, and incoherent pleads try and tumble out of your mouth, “mm! osc–no! ah–too much, baby! it’s too much–hngh–feels weird–s-slow down!” it’s like his ears are filled with cotton; he can hear you begging down at him but can’t make out what your saying over the blood rushing in his ears. he’s trapped staring at your pretty cunt, watching the obscene amount of wetness coming out of you–the suit jacket underneath him is completely ruined, and he off-handedly thinks it won’t be saving the leather upholstery.

your legs start quivering and trembling–it damn near looks like you're freezing to death, even though the car has become as humid as a sauna. your own orgasm shocks you, and your eyes roll back erotically–unable to give oscar any warning. and in your last moment of awareness, you realize that something feels different, but it’s too late.

you choke on your scream of, “oscar, fuck!” as fluid gushes out of your cunt, and the first wave is enough to completely drench oscar’s pants, and oscar finally returns to the moment in amazement. he eagerly brushes his hand against your clit, and shortens his strokes to quick little jabs to force more of your juices out, and you can only ride along. you try to slam your legs shut, to jostle oscar’s hand away, but it’s futile with his torso propping you open for him. you’re sobbing messily, as he forces more liquid to spray from your cunt–and he moans out his own orgasm, ripped from him in surprise. the australian halts his stimulation this time around when you frantically tug his wrist away when the pleasure melds to pain, and allows himself to get a few more jerks of his hips in.

you fall forward, collapsing into his chest–the squelch of your thighs meeting his pant-covered ones has him humming and grinding his hips into you as gently as he can. the two of you shake against each other, hearts rabbiting as you catch your breath. oscar’s hands rise to rub at your back, bringing you down from the aftershocks still trembling over your body. 

“i-i’ve never squirted before,” you whisper into his neck.

your boyfriend hums softly, “did you like it?”

he feels you nod against him shyly.

“then, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he comforts, knowing if he seems approving of it, you’ll be quicker to accept it as something good, “how i’m going to explain the ruined suit and car seat to mclaren on the other hand…”

a shaky laugh from you causes oscar to smile, “i told you you shouldn’t fuck me in the car.”

“how was i supposed to know that tonight would be the night i’d made you gush all over me?! i was hoping that when the time came we’d at least be on a couch,” he whines.

“shut the fuck up,” you joke, “i want a live play by play when you explain the cleaning bill to zac.”

the aussie pauses, faking thoughtfulness, “maybe i should send the bill to the trust-fund baby. zac would back me up–he’s american, he’d probably find it hilarious.”

oscar gently shifts you over to the passenger seat, and you tug your skirt all the way down, and he fights his way out of his slacks that stuck to his thighs with your wetness. he manages to wrangle them off and kicks them to the side of the car floor along with the soiled suit jacket, after fishing the keys out of them, sitting out in his boxers, and glances over to see you adjusting your appearance as best as you possibly can.

“you want a mcflurry?” the aussie offers.

“as long as we can get a fry with it,” you smile at the random shift in conversation, allowing him to hide his embarrassment.

oscar turns the keys in the ignition, and the engine rolls into life with a deep, vibrating hum. he catches your legs pressing together tightly, and you squirm at the purr of the engine under your seat.

“well,” oscar starts nonchalantly as he reverses out of the spot, “you have the time that it takes to get from the drive-through to the flat to finish eating–because as soon as we get home, i’m taking you to bed and learning how to make you squirt, consistently. i don’t care how long it takes, or how many orgasms you have–i’ll keep going ‘til you come dry, babe.”

taglist: @lorarri @soph1644 @jaydensluv @fanboyluvr @nissaimmortal @redgonerogue @hollie911 @saintwrld @buendiabebeta @butterfly-lover @lana-d3l-rey @dylan1721 @spicybagel14 @dhhdhsiavdhajj @miahgonzalez16 @jjaekin @dkbj14 @f1lover55 @f1lov3r @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @sweetpiccolo-blog @my-ylenia @zaynzierulez @reblog-princess

© httpsserene 2023

[the-doomed-witch]

I am sorry, but I am still laughing hard at the scene of you unlocking your phone to a very obvious smut lesbian gif 🤭🤭 (horrifying x 10^9 I can't imagine going through the coming out again... it gave me chills just remembering.... staystrong 😅)

Hahaha I understand you. I am the other way around, I can't write something that is less than a 2-3 part.. or a 10k 😅

YEEEEEEES! YOU GOT IT *-*-*-*-*. ARGH, I can already hear her little whimps... #someonesaveme #justkiddingdontsaveme

* cuts to me swaging back to my lovely seat 💺*<maybe on the crew area>

Well, if I was the teacher I would simply place a bucket on the ground and throw the files up in the air. The ones inside the bucket gets 88%, the ones off 65%, the one stuck on the light feature 0% and the one hovering unnaturaly above my head 100% 😌 there is NO WAY I would read it all...

I have no idea who the fuck invented the whole menstruational necessity.. come on, (1) is not possible THAT is evolution - nature isn't that stupid and (2) if any God/gods/people-with-very-big-and-loose-shirt-who-speaks-with-an-ethereal-voice did this... they SHOULDN'T !!! JUST SNAP AND CHANGE THIS SHIT! *screams to the universe* Argh!.. (Stark could have added that in the snap... just saying...)

I shouldn't go into that thought .... waaay down the anatomical road (I am anonymous, tho. 🤔 I can say whatever :o) (ok, this anon thing is growing on me)(here to never coming out of anon 🥛) (milk because is 7 am there) (Google images " gracilis muscle" and that is the ideal location/path for kiss/lick/ni.... I AM NOT smutting anatomical knowledge!) (Stop it, My/N)(Jesus, I am beyond saving 🥲)

. . 🌿👵 (two dots being exorcized by a christian old lady)

living in this household ain’t easy if i come out i’ll be in some serious danger and i’m not joking😭 so well anyways

I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW 10K WORD FICS ARE WRITTEN!!! i don’t even want to talk further into it because i’m feeling guilty about not writing more than 4-5k words rn 🥲

PLEASE I AM CRACKING UP AT YOUR GRADING METHOD 😭🤣💀 being a teacher sounds like a great job to me but i hate children so much i cannot explain how annoying they can be! they can be the scariest creatures ever

in some of our mythological stories, the men were the ones who menstruated initially (like there’s a whole diff detailing there but let’s just say that’s the thing). like???? why do they want anyone to suffer through that at all???????? peace & love on the planet earth, please😐🥲

no no keep going i just googled gracilis muscle & you’re so right. it’s the milk for me though 😭 cheers 🥛🥛 *quickly adds some instant chocolate mix thingie*

not the exorcising BYEEEE😭

[mari-the-bimbo]

hii congrats on the milestone!! i love your works so much <33 im not sure if the 5k followers request thing is still open bc it says closed on your bio so im so sorry if its closed and feel free to ignore this ask! if was open tho, id like to request a ex husband gojo ask before y/n and him divorced and like the marriage/relationship dynamic back then when they were still married/dating :) im so sorry for asking if ur asks are closed :(( thanks for reading this! <3

Ex husband Gojo: before the ex

A/N: Hey love! Thank you sm! 💗 I think I wrote something similar to this before but I must’ve forgot to link it to my masterlist! But no worries, here ya go <3

It’s sad Gojo decided to self sabotage your relationship for your safety, and was now becoming an awful selfish man as a result of not being able to cope with it. Because originally Gojo was a fun, loving husband.

He was always very physically affectionate. His 6’3 figure would always cling onto you from behind, engulfing you in bear hugs, kissing your cheeks, giving it a bite to make you squeal, as he chuckled. Good morning and goodnight kisses were a must.

As much as he liked your beautiful name, he would love calling you Mrs Gojo instead. Public, private, or in bed oop-

He definitely brought you a matching pair of his glasses to be that couple, giggling stupidly when you guys would roam the streets in matching shades.

He’d always conveniently walk in on you changing, smirking victoriously as he lies down on your shared bed, hands behind his head in a relaxed manner as he enjoys the little show you were putting on. Dirty words being moaned out of his mouth as you do.

I think ever since you had his children, his perspective of you had changed, you were now the ✨mother of his children✨, but unlike ex husband Gojo, husband Gojo meant it in a good way.

It meant you were a goddess that deserved everything for blessing him with such beautiful children, and so he’d spoil you regularly, whether it was adorning you in diamonds or whisking you away for another baecation.

I can imagine Gojo being obsessed with your pregnant belly, he’d caress it adoringly as he asks you “can I fuck you?” in a voice that seemed to innocent.

Oh yes, Gojo definitely had a thing for you having a pregnant belly, it turned him on so much. Seeing your pretty pregnant glowing face cry so cute and helplessly as he drilled his cock into you is an image Gojo cannot erase from his head. maybe that why he’s crazy for a third one even though you’re divorced.

He would love yelling “nap time!!” across the house whenever he was feeling deprived of affection. His mouth widening into a genuine smile when he would hear you and the kids giggling at his clinginess, chuckling when all 3 of his angels would jump onto him, coddling him with cuddles and kisses.

Its sad how our favourite memories are ones we can never revive. Will ex husband Gojo ever be able to get that again?

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Golden Gremlin

by Faux_King

He was finally going on a mission, not as a hunter with Dream like he imagined, but as an assistant with Sam. His sixteenth birthday just hit, and he was being allowed to enter the most dangerous nation for him right now. The Antarctic Empire

A nation filled and ruled by hybrids, dangerous creatures that could kill you in an instant. Tommy had been told all throughout his childhood how dangerous they were, and how hunters were created to take them out. Now he was traveling with Sam to visit a town on the outstretches of the nation. Pogtopia. Trying to blend in and fulfill his duties as Sam’s assistant, he runs into a stuck up emo prick while getting food. “You’re a *child*” “I’M NOT A CHILD YOU FUCKING PRICK” “A gremlin, then” fondness evident in his tone.

Yeah, Tommy really hated this guy.

Words: 10207, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Minecraft (Video Game), Dream SMP - Fandom

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dream SMP Ensemble, Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot, Alexis | Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude, Niki | Nihachu, Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo, Eret (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity & Karl Jacobs & Sapnap, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit

Additional Tags: Slow Burn, i think, I don’t actually know this is my first time and I’m accidentally making 5k per chapter, Possessive Behavior, its all platonic tho, Dark Sleepy Bois Inc, my beloved lmao, Family Dynamics, Sleepy Bois Inc as Found Family, ima cry i love sleepy bois as family, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Only the fiancés are like actually in a relationship, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Protective Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, They just yoink him LMAO, Phil Watson is Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit's Parent, Dadza, AWESAMDAD AWESAMDAD, Touch-Starved TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Bird Hybrid Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Siren Wilbur Soot, wow I’m so original/s, Past Child Abuse, Forced adoption, pog - Freeform, BAMF Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), BAMF Toby Smith | Tubbo, i cannot write neurotypicals lmao, Autistic TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), no beta we die like slime, Ill add more as i go lmao, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Possessive Sleepy Bois Inc, Deity Kristin Rosales Watson, He/Him and She/Her and They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), He/Him and They/Them Pronouns for Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF)

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/37791274

[yoificfinder]

Hey! I love your blog. You're totally awesome. And I could keep saying more stuff if I wasn't CRAVING a pirate AU so badly. Anyone could be the pirate (preferably Yuuri tho; but it doesn't matter). Thank you!

A Siren's Call series by @lucycamui, @crimson-chains [E, 195K]

A siren hardly belongs abroad a pirate ship, but love and adventure tend to bend the rules even of nature and myth.

astrolabe by neck_romancer [E, 13K]

A young Duke has been captured by the fiendish pirate, Silvertail. Yuuri may be a pirate, but he does not condone kidnapping. He's also got one eye on that 2,000 gold bounty, and the other on his Soul Star. Maybe this deadly mission will lead him to a generous pay day and his soulmate all at once.

Into the Deep by @ars-matron [E, 181K]

For five years the mysterious pirate ship, the Eros, has tormented the eastern seas. The most heinous of their crimes, the abduction of omegas from their very homes. Some merely children.

Viktor Nikiforov, captain of the Russian military's fastest ship the Agape, has dedicated his life to finding the infamous pirate pack. Rescuing the omegas that he can, and avenging those beyond his reach.

But Viktor's never gotten close to the Eros. He doesn't even know who he's chasing. And the years of arriving too late are beginning to wear on him. If he cannot find them soon the mission and his command will be taken from him.

A new lead in the mission may be just the break he's been waiting for. After five devastating years he'll do anything it takes to catch the Eros and her crew and bring them to justice. And finally he will have vengeance for the innocent souls that were lost along the way.

Starlight by whatsup_buttercup [E, 21K]

“This is my room,” Viktor says breezily. “I’d love to give you your own space, but, well, the ship isn’t very big, and I imagine we’re going to be spending a lot of time together.”

Viktor’s not even looking at him, instead going over messages on his phone. Yuuri clenches his hands into fists. Since childhood, Viktor had been a dream to reach for, someone Yuuri aspired to meet one day, to dance on the same level with. Now he’s here to be his obedient, bedazzled whore; a decoration in this empty room.

The Lonely Depths by @aurum-auri [E, 4K]

Yuuri was lord of this undersea hell, the god of death at sea, ruler of Davy Jones Locker.

More than anything, he was in love with a mortal.

With the Tides by @kiaronna [T, 5K] *WIP

Honorable and soft-hearted Katsuki Yuuri is not particularly good at being a vicious pirate captain. Viktor Nikiforov, decorated top naval officer, is very sure of this fact. Mostly because he is being held both captive and captivated by the other man on his pirate ship, the Hasetsu.

Other people's rec:

The Pirate King by Sophia96 / @sophialala1

[lunatm]

❛ ✶ ( KELSEY MERRITT , CISFEMALE , SHE/HER ) . who the hell is blasting PINK LEMONADE by JAMES BAY at one in the morning ? nevermind , that’s just LUNA HEARST from 1511 . apparently , they are a TWENTY-THREE year old ARTIST from PACIFIC GROVE, CALIFORNIA , and they’ve been living at the complex for SIX MONTHS . i heard they can be a bit - RESERVED , but they make up for it by being so + PASSIONATE — which makes sense , considering that they are a CAPRICORN ! when i think of them , i imagine OIL PAINT STAINED CLOTHES, PRINTED PHOTOS AESTHETICALLY TAPED TO THE WALL, A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF GLOSSIER PRODUCTS . and of course , don’t forget to follow them at ( @PHASEDLUNA )

hiiiiiiiiiiiii im brenna 😌 im so excited to rp w yall omg. im fighting a migraine rn so im sorry if this is messy, but here’s my girlie!!! this is gonna be kinda short bc my brain is so 🥴 rn asljkascnj lol anywayyyysssss my discord is: ʙʀᴇɴɴᴀ#7518 PLS PLOT W ME 👉👈

☮ QUICK STATS. ☮

NAME: luna imogen hearst

FACECLAIM: kelsey merritt

PRONOUNS: she/her

SEXUALITY: heterosexual (unfortunately)

AGE: twenty-three

BIRTHDAY: december 27, 1996

ZODIAC: caprisun

☮ BASICS. ☮

her dad is both an heir (direct descendant of the hearst family) and a co-founder/ceo to a massive coffee franchise. her mother is an english professor at cal state monterey bay. they met in college at csmb, fell in love and got pregnant young (20) with yours truly

miss luna reigns from a small-ish town just outside monterey, ca called pacific grove (yes like in big little lies but that’s unrelated — her mom was just too obsessed with steinbeck).

coming from a place that favored art and literature over most anything else, luna thrived creatively. her passion for sketching and painting was only supported by her community of friends, family, and mentors.

her family lived in a large historical home filled with love and support. of course there was the typical fighting between siblings and growing pains, but that never shadowed over the overflowing love her parents pumped into their family.

a few months after luna turned 15, in a very dramatic way, it came out that her mother was actively having an affair with a coworker for at least a year and a half prior. it completely shattered her family and caused a massive rift in luna’s relationship with her mother. her mother immediately filed for divorce, expressing zero remorse and breaking luna’s heart in the process. basically her mother is dead to her lol (she still keeps in heavy contact w her mom’s side of the fam tho)

by age 16 luna, her youngest sister, and her father were moved into a multi-million dollar penthouse just across from central park. both she and her father felt the breath of a new life as a smaller family, luna becoming the mother-figure her deaf sister needed as she was only 6 at the time.

so now luna exudes vodka aunt energy while maintaining zero faith in the ideation of love believing it all always comes crashing down in the end.

☮ PERSONALITY. ☮

she’s v cold & distant, but super passionate about art and romanticizes everything except love itself.

she’s impulsive in the sense of being spontaneous. she doesn’t really think about things she does. she just… does them. also is not afraid to roast the shit out of you. will give you the smoke, no remorse.

will only be Soft™ when no one else is looking & she likes u

just like... a tru earth sign u know

literally cannot be in a relationship longer than 3 months. not a single one of them has met her dad or sister.

speaking of her dad, she’s the biggest daddy’s girl (i cringed but its tru)

OH idk if this is personality or background, but she’s v much in the social class of the 1% (bein a literal heiress ig) but she kinda just… doesn’t acknowledge it. like she realizes she’s very privileged, but her brain is like “i am normal 😌” while just dropping $5k on stupid shit. zero concept on “too expensive”.

very protective of her family and will throw down any time for them.

despite being non-sporty herself (except kick boxing), she loves baseball & hockey. don’t get too excited tho, she’s still loyal to her dodgers.

uhhhhhhhhhhh i can’t think of anything else 👉👈

[ragnarachael]

And So, All Yours

Pairing: Loki x Asgardian!Reader

Word Count: 5.9k 

Summary: You didn't believe the ball was anything important, even if you were forced by Odin to take "royal etiquette" classes. However, nearing the end of the night, you find out just exactly what all of the fuss was about.

Author’s Ramblings: welcome to what i’ve been working on for a literal month and a half! we’ve got soft loki, (almost) ballroom dancing, hot and heavy loki (only for like a fraction of a second tho,, i got some loki smut in my docs i’m working on so who knows how long that’ll take between me doing my requests)  this fic has it ALL BABY. i spent so much time on this which is why you see how long it is. i cannot yearn for loki properly if there’s no 5k fic in my docs. don’t ask about my loki wips unless u want whiplash.

Warnings: suggestive scenes! i mention arousal a lot, but there’s no explicit sex scenes! just the tension, because loki can’t help himself. 

P A R T  O N E (you are here) 

MASTERLIST !  FEEDBACK !  AO3 LINK !

You didn’t suspect that after courting a prince for a multitude of years would mean taking “proper” classes to attend a ball. You had been to balls with your family and Loki's family before, including the time you've been with Loki and even before officially becoming lovers.

And yet, you had been in so called “classes” learning proper etiquette of a royal ball for the past week thanks to Odin's orders.

This meant that any of your free time had been taken up by learning how to ballroom dance, proper dining etiquette, and even getting fitted for a new gown. You'd trade all this nonsense you've already learned to spend time with your lover.

You just wanted to see Loki. That’s all you wanted—well, rather craved—at the end of the week. However, you knew Loki must have things to do to properly prepare for the ball, if Odin was forcing you to take these so called courses.

You tried focusing on the things you were being taught and that thankfully made the days leading up to the ball come faster than you could have imagined at the beginning of the week. Before you could even stop and think about how you'd finally get to see Loki, you were getting pulled into your long, emerald gown whilst your hair was being braided into intricate designs and makeup was being applied to your face. The handmaidens were going over what you had learned as you sat in front of the golden vanity in the room you had in the palace that Frigga had assigned you to stay in for the week.

It all started to become incessant chatter in your ears as your mind began to pull elsewhere, starting to realize that you're seeing Loki for the first time. What would he be wearing? Would he be seated next to you at the dining table? Would he try to pull any tricks contrary to his training he's been given at the same time as you?

"My lady, are you paying attention?"

"Y-Yes!" You exclaimed abruptly, making eye contact with one of the handmaidens through the mirror. "Yes, I am. My apologies."

"You're thinking of Prince Loki, aren't you?"

You let out a defeated sigh as you nodded, closing your eyes as you felt the other handmaidens position hairpins to hold your hair in certain spots.

"I don't think it would be foolish if I were to say yes."

The handmaidens let out kind laughter as you felt your face heat up even more due to your apparent embarrassment about the situation. You're unsure as to why you're so shy about admitting to missing Loki, as you've never been shy about it before.

You assume it's because of the amount of time you've been apart.

The handmaidens were reassuring with your embarrassment and made any shyness dissipate through vigorating conversation. They were kind and had answered questions you had about the evening you were preparing to face, including what Loki was to be wearing. You had been told it was formal attire for all and not just the women unlike the last, which made you believe that it was an actual celebratory ball and not some sort of peace treaty.

It made most of your nervousness ease off of your bare shoulders as the final touches to your appearance were made, continuing to making light conversation with the handmaidens before sending them out once their work was done to allow them get ready for the ball, now alone in your quarters for the first time this evening.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, staying seated in front of the pearlescent vanity that matched most of the heavily gold accented room, realizing just how much more... regal you looked. It was a huge difference from your everyday attire when you went to tend to royal duties as often as Loki almost always did.

It was almost as if you really were princess of Asgard, even if you hadn't married into the family. 

"You have always been royalty to me, my love."

Your head whipped around at the sound of your lover's voice behind you, a grin replacing your pursed lips you had while you sat and examined yourself in the mirror. "Loki?"

He had a matching grin as he wore a forest green tunic that had gold accents—much like your dress—accompanied by a plunging neckline which allowed your eyes to trail down to view some of his broad chest. You didn't hesitate to bite your lip for a moment before remembering you're wearing lipstick and quickly release your bottom lip from your teeth as to not ruin any of the work that had been put into your appearance.

Loki didn't seem to notice and said your name back lovingly before you took a moment to unfold yourself from the comfort of the chair in front of the vanity and rush the best you could into his awaiting arms.

However, the second you found yourself hugging him tightly, you realized how abnormally warm he felt under your touch. A little... fizzy even. As if his skin were buzzing like a glass of freshly poured sparkling mead, or as if Thor shocked him once more. Almost as if he was falling ill. Regardless, you were confused. You had seen him cast illusions before, but you've never touched him in that form, so you were unable to deny that possibility from your mind.

There had been one night when you were close to touching him in that form. But that was cut short.

"Conjuring illusions, my love. Not sick," Loki started after hearing your thoughts of concern, pulling away from you so he could tilt your chin up with a hand to let him catch your eyes with his, "I had to find some way to see you. I've been deprived of you for far too long."

His words made your face heat up as you scanned his face, noticing that there had been a slight green glow around the top of his head. He felt so real under your touch, but he was still buzzing. 

"Couldn't you get in trouble—"

"Darling, I've done this many a time, and you're worried if I'll get caught?" Loki couldn't hide his chuckle at that point and moved the hand that was on your chin to cup one of your cheeks. "You truly underestimate the God of Mischief."

"The last time this happened, Frigga had banished me from our quarters for a week, need I remind you," you replied with as much confidence you could muster. Loki’s face starts to heat up slightly, most likely recalling the events of that night. His hand moved from your cheek as he started to shift his body slightly into a defensive stance, arms falling to his sides.

"I told you I was testing the spell out—"

"I'm joking, my dear," you giggled out, moving your hands from their place around his waist to hold his face. "Let's change the subject, shall we?"

Loki seemed to lose his stance on the topic before taking a moment to properly take in your appearance, clearing his throat.

"You look ravishing."

It only took a moment to hear the change of tone in Loki's voice, and you could feel heat pooling in your belly in that instance, your legs wishing to press together for very little desired relief. Even when he's an illusion, Loki still found ways to make you yearn for more intimate activities.

You opened your mouth to say something as you watched Loki's illusion falter under your hands, no longer feeling his cheekbones your hands were resting on. His head turned over his shoulder which sent your hands breaking through the illusion's structure with a small hissing noise.

Quickly, you moved your hands away from where his face once was as Loki sighed and turned his attention back to you, his touch seeming to ghost over your hips.

"I'm afraid we'll have to continue this later, darling." Loki saw your pout and couldn't help but give you a soft smile before running a buzzing thumb over your lower lip. "I love you."

Your pout was quick to turn back into a giddy smile. After saying what was over a thousand I love you's, you never tired of hearing it. "I love you more. Stay out of trouble."

"Now where is the fun in that, love?" Loki questioned teasingly before pressing a quick, tingling kiss to your forehead before finally disappearing in a flash of green. Your heart clenched momentarily in sadness, wishing you had more time to converse with Loki before the night's activities.

One week was far too long to be without your lover, and you prayed that you'd never have to go through this again without good reason.

Sighing softly as you looked in the direction where Loki once stood, starting to pace as you waited for your guards to collect you and escort you to the ballroom floor.

From what you recalled from your handmaidens, you were to have your arrival announced. Something about that screamed Loki's doing, considering you assumed the ball was just a personal affair that most Asgardians were invited to. Another part of you actually started to fancy the idea of this ball being a treaty of some kind, for you had no clue as to why else your arrival would be announced.

More things to ask Loki once you see him in the ballroom.

It felt like years as you continued waiting for the guards. You touched up some of your makeup unnecessarily as well as look at the elaborate hair pins that were pushed into your hair, noticing how they sparkled under the lighting of the room as you adored the gold shimmering at every turn of your head. Part of you was curious where Loki was and what he was doing currently. Perhaps he was engaging with some Asgardians in conversation. Or, maybe he was conversing with his mother at the dining table while guests filed in.

Or, possibly he was trying to find Thor so he could cause some mischief before Odin could find out.

"Norns, this man.." You happily mumbled to yourself. Just thinking about Loki was making you flustered. And you were still just waiting to be taken to the main ballroom. Your hands gently covered your face as you took a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.

Soon enough, your patience was rewarded as your usual guards that accompanied you on palace grounds came to guide you to the ballroom after you instructed them to give you a moment for one last look over at your appearance after sliding your shoes onto your feet.

Seeing yourself in Loki's colors gave you the confidence boost you needed before you turned to the door that led out to the thoroughly decorated halls of the palace, calling out for your guards kindly as your doors shut behind you.

"Gentlemen," you greeted with a smile, "how are you this evening?"

Völund and Áleifr greeted you just as warmly, falling into step with you as you continued conversing with them.

Your anxiousness only started to slowly grow as you made your way down long halls to get through the palace to the ballroom the ball was to take place in. This wasn't your first time having your arrival announced in total, but for a ball, it was a first.

To Asgardian customs, it was as if you were being recognized officially as a part of the royal family. That made your anxious feelings only tighten your chest. Would the Asgardian people accept you? Most already have since you and Loki had announced your courtship ages ago, but you did see glares some local women had given you when they saw you on Loki's arm. You already have taken on royal duties as well--but not as many as a princess should, in your opinion. Loki always disagreed—as he was the one you did most tasks with—as well as Frigga, but you still felt as if you could do more for your people of Asgard.

You wanted to do more. They deserved it.

"Milady, are you ready?" Völund asked as you stopped walking before the archway that led to the staircase that was to commence your announcement. You couldn't help but peek out into the ballroom, only to be blown away by how full it looked.

You were quick to pull back from the edge, taking a deep breath. At least the entirety of Asgard was doing to watch you come out from behind this wall and walk down the very same steps Frigga and Odin had walked just mere minutes ago with Loki and Thor trailing just after them. How were you to do it alone? Part of you felt disdain for the rules that Odin had in place, for if they weren't stopping you, you would demand to make your arrival with Loki so you didn't worry so much about everything that could possibly go wrong as you descended from the stairs.

"Prince Loki said he would not mind waiting at the last steps, ma'am," Áleifr added kindly, noticing your breathing had started to quicken from your burst of anxiety. You didn't hesitate to ask if he could get the message to Loki that you would like him to be there when you start, knowing that your panic would be minimal to none the second you see him.

Áleifr was quick to walk out onto the steps and converse with the other guards that were stationed just around the other side of the walls you hid behind before he returned, one of the other guards walking down the steps at what seemed like a fast pace.

Völund started a gentle conversation with you while Áleifr kept watch for any other guards or drunk Asgardians who tried to roam around the palace. In the midst of this, you tried to bring back your cool and collected façade that left you on the journey to the ballroom doors.

It took a few moments to get everything back under control as you felt your fingers start to toy with some of the rings the handmaidens adorned your hands with as accent pieces for your outfit. You thanked Völund profusely for his help, starting to ask questions about his family to keep your mind focused on something other than the things that were coursing through your mind. 

Áleifr was quick to check for the guard he had sent to get Loki out on the steps once more, conversing with him once he had jogged back up the steps for a moment before returning where you and Völund waited.

"Is he waiting?"

"He's just finished conversation with the Queen and should be arriving momentarily, milady."

"Then we will wait for his arrival, if that is alright."

Völund and Áleifr voiced their agreement as you continued to try and make calm conversation to get your mind off of the crowd of your people enjoying their time at a royal ball.

You were twisting a ring on your middle finger for the fifth time when Áleifr had been informed of Loki's arrival at the bottom of the staircase. Your hands were quick to separate and fall back to your sides like you had practiced on your second day of your so-called classes, lifting up the skirt of your dress slightly to avoid stepping on the fabric as you moved a bit faster than you should have.

The sounds of the ballroom were silenced as Odin was heard talking loudly. You didn't bother to try and make out what was being said as you held your head high, walking out into the center of the archway with Völund and Áleifr just behind you at your sides. You hoped you seemed composed and not as if you just took a moment panicking about the amount of people you were hopefully not to make a fool of yourself in front of.

The smile you had was completely genuine as you heard the Asgardian people applaud you as you took your time going down the first few steps before your eyes caught Loki's. The look he gave you made it feel as if it were just the two of you in the whole room. It urged you to speed up a bit more as you came down the steps, completely drowning out the applause and trying to focus on not tripping as you kept your eyes locked with Loki's.

Eventually your hand extended to land in Loki's as you finished the final steps of the main staircase, the crowd cheering a bit louder as you did a final bow before Loki pulled you in for a quick kiss that made your face heat up into a blush.

"Odin will have your head," you teased through clenched teeth as you smiled and waved, Loki doing the same as he started to guide you to the main ballroom floor after thanking your guards for taking care of you. Loki let out a genuine laugh, letting his fingers lace through your own.

"I would love to see him try," he replied as the crowd finally started to quiet down back to a low hum. Just how it was before your arrival. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," you confirmed softly, starting to stand a bit closer to Loki's side as his hand slipped from yours to wrap around your waist so he could hold you to him as you traveled together through the main floor. "I just saw how many people were in attendance and... lost my head for a moment."

Loki stopped guiding you for a moment to look at your face to be sure you weren't lying before pressing a swift kiss to your temple as his grip tightened momentarily. "I'm sorry, darling. If Odin allowed it, I would—"

"I know, my love. I understand. I'm fine now, no need to burden yourself with worry any longer," you said, taking a moment to glance up and scold at him as his face seemed skeptical. "I am fine, Loki."

"If there is any moment tonight where you need a moment to collect yourself—"

"I won't hesitate to tell you." You finished Loki's sentence with ease, letting out a soft laugh. "Are you aware of how adorable you can be when you worry?"

Loki rolled his eyes fondly as the two of you started to move through the crowd again, "do tell."

Your laughter grew with his reaction, your heart starting to pick up speed once his laughter started to quietly cut through yours. 

The ball was less intimidating now that you had Loki at your side, striking up conversations occasionally with some of the people you walked by as you made your way back to the large dining table that the two of you were required to sit at with the rest of the family.

Dinner went smooth. As smooth as it could with Loki and Thor sitting together, which amused you and Frigga to no end. The two of them had a good relationship, but there had still been tension that had to be resolved by a third party. You still thought that Loki should have sat next to you for the entirety of the dinner, but you didn't want to voice that opinion anywhere near Odin.

The second dinner was done, Loki was quick to whisk you away onto the ballroom floor to dance to the music that was playing. You couldn't hold back the laughter that was bubbling at your throat from your lover's sudden excitement. "Slow down, Loki! We have all night!"

Loki slowed his stride for you, but continued guiding you to one of the empty halls that was connected to the ballroom. 

So you weren't going to dance, then.

It felt as if you were both teens again, sneaking around the halls of the palace during important happenings of which you were both required to attend. But of course, instead, you both opted for taking solitude in empty halls, closets, even rooms to spend time alone together. Thanks to this, guards have easily caught you and Loki in many compromising positions over the years.

Part of you wanted to protest his actions in this moment due to your current training you had drilled into your mind for the past week, but another part of you didn’t care. You missed Loki. And the ball was already dull enough, so you’d happily let him shove you into a closet if it meant enjoying yourself for the first time in a week.

Loki shocked you by making a sharp turn into another hallway, and pulled you from your thoughts by pinning you to the wall and slamming his lips to yours in a heated kiss. You gasped against his lips, letting your head lean forward into his hands that moved to cup your cheeks, finally savouring his touch.

You had forgotten how soft Loki’s lips were. They were sweeter than normal, even. Perhaps that was thanks to the mead you both had drunk during dinner, though. You let out a little huff of a moan as he nipped at your lower lip, taking the chance to lick them apart.

Your hands found their home on Loki’s sides, gripping the fabric under your fingertips tightly as he started to pull away from the kiss, your shared breaths heavy.

Loki let out a breathless chuckle as he pressed one last kiss to your lips, resting his forehead on yours as your noses gently bumped together. Your smile was the most genuine it had been in the past week, and you felt dizzy just from this interaction alone.

“Hopefully no guards saw that,” you teased breathlessly, letting out a giggle yourself. Loki let out another laugh before closing his eyes as he kept his forehead pressed to yours.

“Nothing they haven’t seen before, darling.”

“Mmm.” Your eyes looked over your lovers face for a moment, no traces of worry or annoyance from the evening to be seen. Just love. Endless amounts of love. “At least it wasn’t like the last time—”

Loki’s eyes opened quickly, his gaze boring into yours as he tried to be threatening, “do not bring up the ball from four months ago. Mother is still cross with me for that.”

“As she should! I should be cross with you for ruining one of my favorite gowns!”

The both of you looked at each other, your body still pressed into the wall thanks to Loki crowding you into the marble of the palace. After a few moments of staring, you started to break into giggles again.

“You must admit,” Loki said through his laughter, “you looked even better with the gown off—”

“That does not change the fact it was my favorite, Loki,” you scolded playfully, letting out a long sigh to catch your breath, grinning like a madwoman as you watched Loki smile down at you fondly. “I missed you.”

“And I missed you, my love.”

You didn’t hesitate to take his hands from your cheeks before intertwining your fingers with his. “Next time there is to be a ball, please try to convince Odin I am far more educated than he believes. I don’t think I could take a week away from you again.”

Loki took a deep breath through his nose in that moment, pulling his forehead from your own to press a kiss to the skin.

“I tried to reason with him. You know how he can be,” Loki replied with a tone of sadness. “But, that matters not. We’re together now, and that is all that matters.”

Your grin never faltered as Loki spoke, leaning up on your toes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“It looks to be you’re right, my prince.”

Loki gave a boyish smile before leaning in for a longer kiss before the two of you started to catch up. The conversation flowed easily between the two of you, despite Loki’s close proximity. Occasionally, the both of you froze, hearing footsteps coming from the main hall that you had originally been dragged down by your lover. 

Thankfully, the two of you remained undisturbed as you talked about your week without the other. 

As most of your conversations with Loki do, it started to take a turn in a more... intimate way. Loki started to press gentle kisses to the bare skin of your neck as you prattled on about your useless lesson about posture you had taken earlier in the week. His hands started to roam across the fabric of your dress—his excuse being that he’d wanted to feel the fabric properly, never having seen anything like it before—and his body was being pressed into yours just a bit more than it usually would be if you were engaging in casual conversation.

“The teacher had been quite rude, the more I think about it—“ You cut yourself off with a breathy gasp as you felt Loki nip at the sensitive skin of your collarbone. You wanted to scold him for even considering the idea of marking up your skin. 

But you felt warmth wash over you at the idea of being marked for everyone to see.

“Do carry on, darling,” Loki muttered gently as he looked up at you, lips barely touching the spot he’d just nipped at. You took your bottom lip between your teeth as you watched Loki smirk wickedly up at you before going back to your collarbone.

You tried to continue stumbling through your story, little moans cutting through some of your words every once in a while thanks to Loki’s roaming hands and skilled mouth. 

“L-Loki..” You felt him finally pull away to admire his work as you tried to avoid the throbbing heat that was starting to grow between your legs. “I would not like to be caught without a gown again.”

Loki couldn’t help but let out a deep chuckle at your words, his hands lightly resting on your backside as he moved back to his full height. You could most definitely detect a deeper, more dark tone under that laughter that screamed mischief.

“Darling, if I were to disrobe you again, it would be in the comfort of our chambers. No guards will see what is mine again.”

His words made you take in a deep breath, trying to seem unaffected how he just openly called you his. You didn’t think that after a week without his silver-tongue you’d have this much of an effect from it. You took your lip between your teeth again as you were quick to secure your arms around his neck to try and draw him closer to you. 

After clearing your throat, you gathered as much courage you had in the moment to speak as seductive as you could. “What’s stopping you from taking me to our chambers, then?”

Loki opened his mouth to reply, his eyes darkened with lust before you both heard guards coming down the hall. They were quietly conversing between each other, and you could both hear Loki’s name on their lips. In sync, you and Loki turned your heads to the opening that led into the hall you two had come from originally, both trying to listen in.

If you weren’t so on edge from the sudden possibility of getting interrupted with Loki, you’d laugh at how in sync you two were. 

“They’re coming this way,” Loki mumbled quickly. His hands moved from your bottom then, turning your head back to look at his face and cupping your cheeks in his palms. Your eyes ran over his face, noticing a determined look etched in his features as your face started to heat up under his touch.

“Loki,” you whispered suddenly as the footsteps of the guards came closer, “what are you doing?”

He hushed you swiftly, closing his eyes as you felt your body starting to tingle. Your grip was tightening around him as you shut his eyes under the assumption that maybe if you did it, whatever he was doing would work better. Either way, Loki didn’t seem to mind as the metallic footsteps finally stopped in front of the hall Loki had dragged you in to pin you into the wall. 

“Prince Loki!” One guard called out suddenly, which caused you to flinch from the sudden loudness of his voice. You could hear the footsteps move directly behind Loki, sounding as if he were shifting on each foot. You assumed that meant he was looking into the crevasses of the hall to find the two of you. 

It was at this moment you realized Loki was using his magic to conceal the two of you against the wall so you wouldn’t be found. The other guard let out a huff.

“Let’s just try the next hall. Odin will have our heads if we don’t find ‘im.”

The first guard grunted out of annoyance, most probably because of his task he was assigned, and started to walk out of the hall. “The prince better not be where I think he may be.”

The second guard let out a booming laugh, a soft  clank  being heard, “We can finally stop worryin’ about it after tonight. You ‘member he told us that the plan they’ve been workin’ on is happening tonight.”

You tried to listen to their conversation the best you could before their voices faded down the hall. Both you and Loki let out a sigh of relief at the same time while you opened your eyes to look at Loki.

He had his face contorted in what looked like worry.

“Plan? What plan?” You questioned softly, letting one of your hands slowly slip into Loki’s hair to toy with the strands while he kept his eyes closed. Loki’s forehead stayed pressed to yours as he stayed silent.

“It.. It’s nothing for you to focus on, dearest,” Loki finally said, nervousness lacing his tone as his eyes finally opened to look into yours. “I have it under control.”

You rose a brow skeptically, moving your hand that was in his hair to slip to his cheek, watching him lean into your touch as his hands fell to rest on your shoulders. “Do you, my love? You are aware I’m willing to help you at any given moment, correct?”

“Yes,” he replied, keeping his eyes trained on your own as he turned his head and pressed a kiss to your palm without any hesitation. “I am aware. I’ve handled far worse.”

You knew he was trying to make you laugh with that sentence. You cracked a smile just so he could feel pleased before moving his head back up so you could press a kiss to his lips. When you pulled away, he tried to chase you back into another. That made you giggle quietly before moving your hand that was on his cheek to his mouth to cover it.

“We can continue what we started later. Odin needs you for something.”

Loki didn’t hesitate to let out a huff against your palm before grabbing your wrist and sliding his fingers between your own. “Must we? We’re not too far from our chambers—”

“Loki.”

“—and you know I can certainly be quick—”

“Loki!” You exclaimed with a soft laugh, trying to cover his mouth with your other free hand only to have that one be caught with Loki’s as well. He laughed with you as his fingers laced between each of yours tightly, running the pad of his thumb over the decorative rings that adorned your fingers. You noticed how his thumb lingered on the empty spot of your ring finger. 

“Fine. Later,” Loki relented as he looked down at your hands with a growing smile. “I do hope you can be patient.”

“Can you?” You replied, snorting fondly. Loki let out a scoff of a laugh before giving you a quick peck on the lips. You smiled at the affection before Loki finally stopped crowding you against the wall, let go of one hand to help you fix anything of your appearance that was out of place before he started to guide you from the hall you had hid in. 

In the silence, you let your thoughts linger until you came to a sudden stop. Loki stopped just as you did, turning his head around to look at you over his shoulder. He spoke your name softly with concern as you asked the first question that came to the forefront of your mind. 

“What is this ball for?”

Loki’s body turned to face you again, his head tiling in confusion. “I beg your pardon?”

“Usually,” you started, clearing your throat as you were reminded of your posture. You fought back a grimace and stood a little straighter, tilting your head up. You most certainly didn’t miss Loki’s eyes traveled down the length of your neck most probably to look at the mark he left on your collar bone, “I can tell what ball it is by who’s in attendance, but all of Asgard seems to be in the ballroom and I can’t place as to why that is.”

His eyes trailed back up to your face, confusion leaving his face as he blinked a few times to process what you were asking. Loki’s hand momentarily tightened around your own before taking a deep breath.

“It’s their anniversary!” Loki replied suddenly, almost as if he himself had forgotten. “My mother and father’s, that is. ”

You cocked your head to the side, your brows furrowing. “Really?”

“Yes!” Loki exclaimed, a wide grin coming to his face at the blink of an eye. “Another amazing thousand years as Asgard’s rulers.”

Something in you could tell Loki had been lying. It was a new instinct you were trying to work on. It made you sound callous, not trusting your lover, but he only lied to you when he deemed it absolutely necessary. It drove you wild when all you wanted to do was help, even if there was a battle to be had, and Loki just left you in the dark.

“Why didn’t Frigga tell me at dinner?”

“She doesn’t like to make a big show about things, darling. You know this. She probably thought you had already known,” Loki explained gently. “You were with your handmaidens all day anyway, it’s a fair thought.”

You thought about it for a moment before realizing Loki was right. You had only started to talk with people who weren’t your assigned handmaidens once your guards had retrieved you from your room you had gotten ready in. Loki was giving you a knowing look when you let out a huff of annoyance.

You hated when he was right about certain things.

“Fair thought indeed,” you grumbled, starting to take the lead after giving Loki’s arm a tug when you rounded the corner of the hall, “let’s get you to Odin so he can chew your head off.”

Loki only let out a fond laugh, not hesitating to walk next to you happily as he pressed a kiss to your temple. You couldn’t help a smile come onto your face to break your annoyed expression as you were met with the empty halls you had rushed down mere minutes ago, Loki’s hand casually slipping from your grip to curl low around your hips to guide you back to the ballroom.

[x-exo]

nearly 5k ppl in this tweet alone and that's on twitter i cannot imagine the mess in pann twitter com/1s1j5/status/1332198781765390337?s=20 kinda feel bad for him but he could've avoided his reputation going down the sink by just coming out and saying this isn't true tho even idk how to feel about him 🤷‍♀️

yk i think that if he might have his reasons for not having said anything yet we don’t know what the truth is or what he’s feeling or doing tbh 

[recurring-polynya]

Writing/Art Update: 12/9/19:

I feel like I did not do anything last week, but I guess I did. Everything is a little rough right now, between the holidays and bunch of school stuff with the kids, so I am trying to be gentle with myself and not stress about writing. I usually hesitate to say I’m taking “time off” because writing is generally how I de-stress (is it, though?) but if I get anything done in the next week, it will be kinda shocking.

I have been getting really nostalgic for last spring, when I was only sleeping about 5 hours a night and was absolutely manic with ideas the rest of the time. How do I get that back, eh? I... cannot imagine it was healthy. It was so fun, tho.

Anyway, this week...

I posted a cute bit of fluff about Milo the Squad 6 Guard Dog.

Call Me Back When the War is Over is now up to...95k? Where did those other 5k come from? I probably pasted them in from stuff I wrote earlier. I dunno. Unfortunately, I have written most of the fun stuff in this fic, so it’s just the really painful mortaring everything together that’s left, like, uh, ending scenes. Why is it so hard to end scenes? Also, I am very sorry that so much of my fanfic just has terrible scene transitions, it’s probably because I watched the Phantom Menace too many times when I was a teen. Also, I do this for free and I do not actually care about growing as a writer.

Anyway, I am close enough to the end that this thing is really starting to take shape. It is probably gonna be 13 parts + an omake (if you do not write omake for your fanfics, I honestly can’t recommend it enough). 7 parts (and that omake) are basically done, and 8 is pretty close to done. Big chunks of 9, 10, and 11 are done, and 13 is half done (but I have two exam fight scenes to go and you know I hate those).  Also, I need to come up with an Inuzuri story, and I have been blanking on it. Ch 12 is pretty much not done at all, but I think it will be fun, so I have been saving it??  I expect to start posting it sometime in the January/February timeframe.

That’s far enough away, and I feel bad about this taking so long, so here’s the title card/ch 1 illustration, under the cut. Yes, I am doing these for all the chapters, I am done up through Ch 5. I am a ridiculous person and I know it.

[v-hope]

a few weeks ago someone asked me if i had any favourite hyunjin fics and i said no…

this is it.

honestly this is now not only my fav hyunjin fic but i think it is also hands down the best social media au i’ve read in AGES.

it’s been SO LONG since i read a fic that i could physically not put down until i was completely done with it. like, i discovered it yesterday at 8pm and i was like okay i’ll read until like 4 or 5am since i normally can’t fall asleep at night bc of the hot summer weather anyway, and when it was 5am i was not done with it and i said okay 7am it is. 7am max and i’m going to sleep. and then before i knew it, it was 8:30am and i was just putting my phone down after experiencing SO MANY FEELINGS like oh my god i am so in love with this fic i needed to gush about it now (after having gotten some sleep. i’m fine, i’m fine) even tho the epilogues are not up yet, and on that note i cannot wait to read them whenever they’re posted bc i cannot get enough of it.

i mean it. i remember reaching part 40 and being sad bc i somehow managed to make myself believe it was only 50 parts so it was about to end and i was not emotionally ready for it. and then i found out it was actually 70 parts and i was SO HAPPY you can’t imagine. couldn’t have cared any less about my sleep lmao.

i loveeeeee how the story progressed so naturally in a way, how we could see hyunjin and y/n’s dynamic change right in front of our eyes. the obliviousness and denial that comes with a good enemies to lovers fic (PLUS a fwb/fuck buddies one, can it get any better? 😭) when we can see how strongly they feel for each other and how jealous they get bc of course they catch feelings before they can even realise. and the tension, oh my GOD THE TENSION. i could feel every single bit of it through your words and i absolutely LOVED IT.

i loved every single part and how particularly beautifully written the written ones were. i’m not joking when i say i don’t usually read anything over 5k words because i am so tired of reading +30 pages every day for uni. and when i read smaus with written parts that are longer than that i tend to just kind of scan for the dialogues to get an idea of what’s going on and that’s it. but in this fic i was hit with +20k words written parts, and the last one was even 35k words and i read every single word of it bc that is just how hypnotized i was by the whole story.

i loved the overall dynamics of it. not only hyunjin and y/n’s, but the entire friend group as well. every convo managed to be both entertaining AND actually important/necessary for the story development, i’m actually very grateful for that lmao. and i need to rant about a few things so let me just

‼️SPOILER ALERT‼️

okay first of all, yeji??? A CUTIE PIE. at first i was scared she would turn against y/n at some point, when she first saw hyunjin and called him beautiful and all that, and how she made a separate gc from y/n just so she could gush over him lmao, but she was actually so supportive of them even when she was the only one who didn’t know about the relationship those two were keeping a secret :( we stan a supportive friend who only wants the best for her bff 😭 i also at some point thought she was gonna end up with felix, but i’m happy she ended up with minho, they were so cute together. oh and also the way she kept checking up on y/n and if she was truly okay with her getting together with minho? 10/10 best friend but like ma’am it’s okay just go get your man 😭😭😭

i loved jisung’s role the most. how he was always so protective of y/n (sometimes maybe a little too protective 👀) and how he was the one to bring some much needed sense to her. AND THE ONE TO GO OFF ON HYUNJIN AND TELL HIM HOW HE HAD BROKEN UP Y/N’S HEART AGAIN AND BEING THE ONE TO ACCIDENTALLY CLEAR THINGS UP AND GIVE THEM THE LITTLE PUSH THEY NEEDED TO FIX UP THEIR SHIT AND GET BACK TOGETHER, everyone say THANK YOU JISUNG

wooyoung was so lovely :( i loved the part his role played in the story as well. how hyunjin got protective and jealous bc of him and how that ended up with him and y/n getting /together/ for the first time. and how supportive he always was of y/n and how he understood her heart was with hyunjin and didn’t get mad at her for it. although i did get mad at him when he texted hyunjin and told him that y/n hated him. like i know his heart was on the right place but SIR IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS PLEASE LET THEM BE THANK U.

okay now to the characters i wanted to punch ☺️ which were chaeyoung (crying tho bc she’s one of my twice biases lmao) and the girl i’m just gonna address as sj bc i can’t remember her name hehe. oh, and yunho at first (again, that’s my ateez bias right there so i cried a bit too).

yunho made me feel so uncomfortable and i hated how y/n was wondering if maybe she was overreacting. if you feel like someone’s touch is inappropriate then that’s all you need to stay away from them. i was thankful for hyunjin tho. yunho being an asshole gave us the chance to see hyunjin care for y/n for the first time, even when they could not stand each other back then. when he saw how he was feeling y/n up that one night the three of them were alone at the studio and she went out to get some air and was so scared of hyunjin leaving her alone with yunho… and how he followed after her and handed her her bag so she could leave with him :( hyunjin baby we love u, thanks for taking care of her back then 😔

chaeyoung sweetie… whatever she was doing all along, that was not it. her twitter feed being full of hyunjin without him knowing, and making it look like they were a couple? not it. telling everyone that they were into each other and they were not together /yet/? NOT IT. god, i was so scared when she ran into y/n at the cafe when she and hyunjin had fought bc a part of me actually believed something was going on between the two of them since hyunjin could’ve really used a rebound :/ i’m just glad he stood his ground all along and made it clear he felt nothing for her at one point.

now, sj. girl wtf???? kissing hyunjin THE SECOND you see him after YEARS of not doing so, and even more AFTER HE TOLD HER HE WAS DATING Y/N???? like even if she didn’t believe him, if someone tells you they’re dating someone then you better believe they’re not comfortable with you kissing them. ugh, this girl istg, the way she would cling on to hyunjin and question y/n and make her look bad and feel self conscious on purpose. the way she would talk about her and hyunjin’s sex life so freely? i wanted to punch her so bad, y/n remained way too calm, i would’ve lost it. THANK GOD hyunjin finally spoke up and called her out when she made that comment about how he was in bed. it was about time someone put her in her place. glad he turned her down when she asked to meet up alone as well. like dude HE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE LET IT GO!!!!!!

i loved how hyunjin reassured y/n tho :( and how soft he was with her and the bonfire (we’re not mentioning the whole chaeyoung situation. although i did love to see hyunjin standing up for y/n even if he was hurt by her words 😭😭😭) AND HOW THEY WENT TO THE ART MUSEUM AND THE DASIES AND OH MY GOD THAT BRINGS ME BACK TO THE NECKLACE!!!!! when it was first mentioned in like the first few parts i thought it would end up in a fight, like hyunjin accusing y/n for stealing it or whatever, but the fact that he saw it hanging around her neck and loved it so much that he actually acted as if it was hers all along and even gave it back to her after she left it behind?? please i’m so soft 😭 the way that he would always stare at it and touch it and would want to see it on her bc it was his necklace that she was wearing i—give me a moment.

i loved all their little moments at his dorm :( and the balcony :( and hyunjin making a whole ass art expo just to answer y/n’s drunken questions back then :(

ugh i don’t think i had ever written such a long comment after reading a fic but i have SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT THIS ONE. i needed to let you know how much i loved it and that you’re an amazing writer bc i could feel every single emotion they were feeling and their story was so so beautiful and i just. crying. hyunjin being so soft and calling her baby and being so clingy :( and falling in love with her but then feeling so insecure when it came to her feelings towards him :( and the same the other way around.

i empathized so much with y/n. how she was scared to fall for him again and have him break her heart all over again. and how IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED at one point even if it was a huge misunderstanding on his end. i would’ve been so scared too to just put my heart out there. but y/n baby that boy is so whipped for you and loves you so much i’m glad things turned out well for them 😭😭😭

okay i believe this is enough of me rambling lmao. again, I LOVED THE STORY. can’t wait for the epilogues, idk what will i do with my life when it’s over. probably reread this over and over again.

thank you so much for writing this masterpiece 💖

only fools fall for you | hyunjin sm au

synopsis:

you're excited to finally get a new start at university, majoring in the thing you love the most; dancing, and you're positive that absolutely nothing can ruin the quintessential college experience for you.

that is, until you run into your lifelong rival, hwang hyunjin and to make things worse...you can't seem to get rid of him.

pairing: dancer! hyunjin x dancer! reader

fic type: social media au

genre: college au, angst, enemies to lovers, smut and some fluff, slowburn (!)

status: complete

masterlist:

playlist

yns squad

hyunjins squad

1. a fresh start

2. not a cat, minho

3. i need new friends

4. number one fan

5. a hopefully hot boy

6. bane of my existence

7. i blame felix

8. a beautiful dancer

9. did you just defend hyunjin

10. be more passionate

11. the enemy you know

12. should i be offended

13. is this even legal

14. the bar is so low

15. not a bad kisser

16. ready, ready baby

17. the morning after

18. what happened last night

19. showstopping

20. being sick

21. im gonna kill him

22. a pretty face

23. dramatic entrance

24. distracted

25. communication can help

26. the world would be a better place

27. get back at him

28. what i want

29. nothing to hide

30. you've matured

31. beautiful face but a terrible personality

32. one and done

33. you sound whipped

34. i want you to

35. does this make up for it

36. don't say no

37. play with fire

38. weather forecast, wet

39. more important than ramen

40. you up?

41. not fighting anymore

42. english lit can wait

43. am i allowed to kiss you

44. red lights

45. the view

46. corn dogs

47. chaeprincess

48. i hate people

49. looking out for hyunjin

50. talk to yeji

51. how can you be sure ?

52. happy birthday han

53. everything okay ?

54. what happened in high school

55. happy for you

56. safe space

57. what's kkami

58. yeji knows

59. moving on

60. you need to get out

61. unforgettable night

62. daisy

63. hatred is a strong word

64. not afraid to show it

65. hopeless romantic

66. not your business

67. have faith

68. little star

69. epilogue part 1

70. epilogue part 2

[theydigthecape]

watched The Suicide Squad couple of days ago, so

pros:

takes a hard look at a horrific comics-style consequence of US militarism/colonialism and doesn’t flinch

doesn’t try to pass itself off as a superhero film: welcome to amoral antiheroism that owns itself

doesn’t attempt to present Waller even vaguely as a good guy

classic comics vibe

juvenile humour (ie a major component of the classic comics vibe)

Bloodsport

Idris Elba as Bloodsport

jfc dude does whatever he wants and makes it look amazing

packs a shittonne of amoral DCU humans and metahumans into one film

Weasel is Bill D. Cat, basically

lady Ratcatcher

and her pet rat

with Taika Waititi as her dad 🤍

really, most of the actors did a decent job

Idris Elba

….did i mention Idris Elba

(can’t believe they used motherf*cking Starro, tho the denouement was kinda worth it)

cons:

can’t *believe* they used motherf*cking Starro

juvenile humour (😑)

i cannot express to you how tired i am of Robbie’s face

even if she does a marginally competent rendition of my fav Doc Clown

dumbing King Shark wayyyyyy down wtf

not even Constantine would

hackneyed generic South American coded dictatorship trope(s)

STARRO

srsly, what is this, some kinda b-grade Super joint or smth

ANYWAY.

+2 for imaginative variety

-10 for hackneyed tropes

-1 for Robbie’s face

-1 for King Shark

+1 for Ratcatcher and her rats

+2 for creative use of rats re: Starro

-5k for Starro

+infinite indefinable positive amounts of wtfever for Idris Elba

= a Not Completely Terrible cinematic experience

[canonicallyanxious]

Fanfic Author Tag [???]

Tagged by @towonderland72​ - thank you so much friend! i’m a tad bit behind on this [and all the messages in my inbox aksjdnasd] thanks to traveling but i’m finally back home so *cracks knuckles* let’s do this thing

Tagging: @boxesfullofthoughts, @rumpelsnorcack, @call-this-a-mask, @hotchocolatenthusiast, and any other writer who feels like doing this!

Where do you write (add a pic if you want)?

i used to write like exclusively in my dorm room because it for some reason is really difficult for me to write when other people are in the room [like it’s not even an anxiety thing, it’s just very distracting? i don’t have this problem with studying for the most part so like idk] but thanks to Mental Health Bullshit this past semester i now associate my room with, like, all the feelings that are completely not productive for writing lol. and then some. hopefully it’ll be different now that i’m moving out though. i guess we’ll see!

When do you write?

Most productive hours for me are from midnight to 4 am unless i’m too tired [i’m frequently too tired]. but this is no joke, because every time i am able to write during those hours i can get anywhere from 3-5k done which, considering on a good day 1k is a lot for me, is pretty good lol. otherwise, evening hours from 9 to midnight is usually it for me. Morning SUCKS ASS for me, i for some reason cannot for the life of me get anything substantial out before noon. don’t ask me why! i guess i will just never be a morning person

Do you write with music?

YES. ALWAYS. I also always study with music, as i find trying to work in silence [or with the ambience of the room around me] leads to me being very easily distracted and antsy. I guess it’s a case of, music helps me focus and ignore everything else going on around me, especially if it’s not catchy music and i can sort of let it be background noise [but again, it’s different to actual background noise! more focus i guess?? idk]

Do you ever write on your phone or with pen and paper?

my usual answer to this question is GOD NO NEVER THAT IS MY OWN PERSONAL HELL. my answer right now is, i did in fact write 5k words of my heart held a ledger on my phone, on account of a fun combination of traveling, forgetting my notebook at home, and my shit ass iPad keyboard not working, and NEVER. THE FUCK. AGAIN. AM I DOING THIS. the screen is so SMALL you can’t SEE FOR SHIT autocorrect is determined to MURDER ME [how many times did my phone change “Isak’s” to “ISak’s” for some STUPID ASS REASON??? I LOST FUCKING COUNT] my clumsy thumbs HATE ME editing is a goddamn nightmare because of all the above. i would 100% not recommend doing long things on your phone, please, save yourself and your sanity

In terms of handwriting, I have a slightly less hateful relationship with pen and paper, but i still don’t?? really like it??? that much??? which as an aspiring writer feels kind of silly to admit [there are TONS of writers out there who’ve managed to suck it up and write without a keyboard, ya wimp] but it’s mostly because i like to edit as i go, as in i like to play around with phrasings and ideas on the page as opposed to in my head, and a lot of the time there will be something i want to add to the sentence that doesn’t occur to me until i’ve already started writing the sentence, and that’s much harder to do on paper. also i dislike having to take breaks for my cramping hand because again i am a wimp

How long do you write for?

a few hours at a time, maybe? if i’m lucky? i’m not much of a marathon writer. but generally whatever i’m writing i just need to make sure i get to the end of the scene because as i’m sure many other writers can relate to a really fun feeling is coming back to the document the next day and your past self left in the middle of the scene [sometimes in the middle of the sentence if they’re really being an asshole!!] and you’re just like “what the FUCK happens next”

[as a sidenote, i actually usually have longer editing sessions than writing, because when i’m editing i’m always like MUST. MAKE IT THROUGH. THE ENTIRE CHAPTER. FOR THE SAKE OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. which, when you’re dealing with 10-15k words at a time, can be a bit much lol]

Favourite nourishment while writing?

Don’t usually eat while writing? maybe water?? i absolutely snack while editing tho it’s a lot of reading, chocolate covered almonds are the goddamn best but i’ll settle for small candies in general. also drinking hot chocolate!

What is the easiest part of writing for you?

not sure if this means process or, like, easiest thing to write?? process would probably be outlining/planning, which feels much less like work than all the other parts of writing, and also the least pressure, you can just let your brain go wild 

Easiest thing to write is probably internal monologue, is that a boring answer? Idk i just think it’s a lot of fun to try to get into a character’s head and figure out what they’re thinking in any given moment, how they’re reacting to and processing the world around them, etc. tapping into feelings, finding the words for those emotions even when there are no words, is a challenge i get a lot of enjoyment out of.

What is the hardest part of writing for you?

Process - the actual writing lol

Hardest thing to write - GROUP SCENES! ARE! THE BANE! OF MY EXISTENCE! just in general, scenes where you have to keep track of the physicality of a lot of things at once, like a lot of people or very actiony things, are difficult for me because i think envisioning the physicality of something is really hard to begin with [i’m not much of a visual person ,my spatial awareness is horrendous], let alone if there are lots of moving parts to remember. which i guess is also why physical descriptions, of settings or of people, don’t come naturally to me either. i think when i write i sort of imagine my characters in a vacuum which is. not good haha.

Any other writing rituals?

Hmmmm none that i can really think of...? editing i have a couple, like if i know it’s gonna be a session with a lot of work i’ll for sure make myself a cup of hot chocolate because i Deserve It, also i try to save all the stuff i delete into an odds and ends document though i often forget lol. also when i send my drafts to my beta readers i almost always give them, like, a ridiculously long list of things to keep an eye out for. the less familiar i am with a beta the more i tend to send them akjsdnaskdjna mostly because the more i know them the more i trust them to know the things i usually worry about

[chenlays]

for mi radish

ok so as of 9.29.17 that was our fIRST FRIEND ANNIVERSARY of one month wow I am CRUING

so I just love u so much I need to express through a 1065 slide power point

I would if I could :’)

OKAY so here r some things to make u happy n know I love u more than life itself 

n i’m sorry i didn’t post sooner or it isn’t as amazing as the one you made me, but just know i love you so much and i can’t wait to take bad pictures of u n throw shade and leave hyuck notes in ur room and house to make u feel happy that’s my dream omh

wow ur just so beautiful,,,how??

hyuck is drowning

I’m drowning

your beauty is endless and I am so amazed bc

like ur lil blemishes n crooked teeth and messy hair

SO CUTE

like wow they are just there and that’s yOU and I’m ?? So confused bc u say sometimes that ur ugly and I’m just ?? How

like nO ur “flaws” are so pure and beautiful within themselves n I LOVE

I mean idk if I was hyuck I wouldn’t even have to look twice to see that ur so pretty

Also I cannot wait to touch ur tummy and smoosh it n lay on it u titty

if u let me 🤧🤧

just wow I love u and ur face and ur body

They’re so beautiful

who iS paige I only know too perfect for hyuck

YOUR NAME AUTOCORRECTS TO THAT STILL IM CRUING

uR SO GOOD TO ME

lIke u make ocean stuff and I feel so happy n blessed

and when I call myself ugli u make me feel better

I still think I’m ugly tho sorry

And ur so cute bc u say ilY a lot

and that’s all I need omg

ur so extra tho with those sneak peeks

I cried a lot

u cARE ENOUGHT TO MAKE ALL THAT

I feel so loved n happy that u have done that

I JUST WANNA WRITE LILE 5K WORDS ABT PONG

You deserve so much pong snuffs 😤😤

but just being my friend and taking time out of your day to talk is just so nice to me

likE I’m so gross pls

WTFWVS

i also will sing to u some day bc i truST you with my life but i can’t do a capella sO idk i will learn how to sing my paige for u

omg u shy away but u actually love it that’s so cute and my heart is a fukin oven don’t think I don’t see those tags ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

YOU’RE ALSO SO CUTE WITH HYUCK WHEN IS THE WEDDING 👀👀

frick im in pain from these razor burns and my back hurts n my legs are sore but i nEED to supply you with my everlasting love

ok so i know i say hyuck is ugly and all that

but wow i cry whenever u get soft for him its so cute 

just,,,yes please do yell abt his hair n his cheeks n his eyes

yell all u want bc i’m always listening and i am literally always on my phone bc i don’t have anything better to do other than c ry 

but yes pls do scream about how u wanna marry him and date him

I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IRL

JUST IMAGINING YOUR VOICE WHEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT HIM

OR HOW YOUR EYES PROBABLY LIGHT UP

IM GONNA CRY BECAUSE YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND I BET YOU UNLEASH UR FULL POTENTIAL WHEN SOMEONE SAYS HYUCK

I WANNA VIDEO CHAT W YOU ALL THE TIME AND SCREAM ABT PONG BUT I CANT AND I’M SAD :((

ok but,,,pls marry hyuck he doesn’t deserve you but you love him anyway smh

you are just so good and cute and you love ur dogs and are doing cook soul and i’M always proud of you and i always wanna hug you,,even if it’s just for safely getting to your bed without all those spooks

i jUST wanna be with you and yell in ur ear abt chenle as u yell in mine while we hug n cry,,,my dream

i am so soft for u smh pls never change “hi i’m yuta,, welcome to chili’s” or i will CRY it’s my fav by you,,,also the fact that u watched like 5 of those green pornos i can’t bREATHE

OK SORRY IF I DON’T APPRECIATE YOU ENOUGH BUT I’M BAD AT WORDS AND I JUST WANNA WRITE U HYUCKS BC I KNOW IT MAKES U HAPPY

hyuck is really gross compared to u and ilysm pls realize this

a nice soft couple kMS

he loves u so much,, and he better or i will kick him >:(((

so he is sad ofc people get sad

and he wHIPS out that phone so fast to text you

“hELLO my beautiful, amazing, cute, adorable, sweet, bby 💖”

“WTf do u want :)))”

“COME A ND cuddle u fuk”

and ur runnin and he feels so blessed bc he needs u and he loves you kns

so when u get there he has ur favs,, like some tea or lil fruit snacks chenle

and he has them on the table in front of the couch and has a movie on to distract him, but now that you’re there he is already 10x better

so he dRAGS u to the couch and since ur so tiny,, he pulls u into him and literally encases u and has his head on urs and a nice cute lil smile

like,,he looks so soft n content when his leg is trapping u and u can’t even move ur arms wtf dude

but u snuggle up to him anyways and are warm n it’s really nice to feel like that

n if u want ur fruit snaccs,, he just reaches over n then moves so he can feed u :”o

leaves the grape flavored ones for last bc he probably hates them don’t eat chenle thx

and he just g r i n s when he does bc wOW ur so cute his whole body aches

how can someone,, just anyone,, b this cute

he is so lucky >:(((

then when u wanna nap finally, he makes u more comfortable and pets ur hair probs and puts ur face in his chest A WGWH

and is just shielding you from nOTHING 

just wants you to feel safe n loved

also sings rly softly because he knows ur a ho for his vocals

literally just snobs himself to sleep bc ur so cute with ur messy hair n small smile bc ur happy

uGSHds i need to send pics to him when ur married

“wow look at this loser she’s wearing ur sweater”

but he would think that’s so cute and would send me like 897847894876 heart emojis and i’d block him

but then i would feel bad n ask him to send 68 paragraphs on how much he loves u so i can print them all out and leave them on ur doorstep

nct st will be a blast and i will make sure hyuck treats u right bc that’s the only way u deserve to be treated

liKE A Q U E E N

ur a titty tho

when u get married i’ll make chenle screech uR fav bc them vocals 👅😩😩🔥😍💦💦👏

CAN I WRITE MARRIAGE HCS THX

wow i think he would be really extra when he wants to propose to u pls be at least 624 when u get married thx!!!

takes you to a very beautiful spot in japan or even somewhere in europe if you don’t care being that far from ur home at nct st🤧🤧

so he would take u to a really pretty garden park thingy in early fall when it’s just getting cold and the flowers aren’t wilting,,,and walk around and watch as you get happy bc of the fish ponds and puppies people are walking n dOZENS of rainbows gay icon

and he would hold ur hand n smile so bIG when u pull him towards something n yell abt it

constantly says you’re more beautiful whenever you say a flower is pretty

“oMG hyuck this is so pretty im wheezin”

“your beauty is far more ethereal ;o”

ur heart busts a nut even on the 673rd one bc binch he is so amazing

then after u walk through the park and suffer many encounters of him protecting you from thirty seven butterflies and literally squaring up,,he walks you to a nice cozy cafe cAFE BOY HYUCK and pays for a nice hot chocolate 

asks the barista to put a heart in it and pink marshmallows and is rUSHING to grab it so he can give it to you

goes up to you at the table while ur texting or scrolling istg u better update me abt the adventures on ur hyuck holidays and has the softest and most heartwarming smile you have ever seen

and he is trying to speak so he can show you the hot chocolate before the marshmallows melt and he just ca n t bc ur so beautiful just lookin at him and he’s shaking 

but he ends up putting it on the table and being really cheesy n putting a hand on ur cheek n smooching ur forehead bc he’s highkey gonna scream if he has to explain

but ur in love with him and you just laugh n admire the cute lil pinkies and the heart and then look up at him and he’s sweatin bc fuk ur so ethereal and he is nervous abt the day

and he is internally screaming every second bc ur so clueless n u just want to love him like every day and have a nice relaxing vacation after everything on nct st it’s rly stressful

i’ll call u some time n just “i fukin swear noodle man won’t sNOp throwing noodles at sheema and chenle im so scared to go outside pls come home”

as ur drinking the hot coc o,,he’s deep in thought n messing with his hair or looking stressed n ur worried bc,, it’s supposed to be a nice week long vacation full of fun n r e l a x n he’S STRESSIN G

so u almost throw what’s left of the drink bc ur worried n snatch his hand n,,, “hYCUk what’s wrong??????????????????????”

and w o w he brightens up so quick when he hears u and literally becomes the sun and his eyes are like fukin LIGHTS 

but he just says he is alright because it has to be a perfect day for you 😤😤

and he lets you finish ur drink while ur still lowkey worried but he makes himself look happy i mean, he is but he’s nervous fuk even tho he is still about to explode

so when ur done n ur smiling at his cuteness,, he throws ur cup away and dRAGs you outside n u walk for a while n go slow so u can enjoy each other n just hold hands n talk abt whatever is on ur minds

until like 256428 steps later yOU turn the corner n there’s a big ass aquarium and yOURE LITERALLY SC R E AMING

ur running to the doors so fast to see all the pretty fish n sharks n stingrays

ur like a little kid i BET and it’s so pure and adorable oh my god

but hyuck is struggling to restrain you

“sweetie pls i have to pay first”

and then u calm down once he pays n grabs ur hand so u can take all the time u want to scream abt the tiny starfish who just wants to be free

but i doubt he would take u to one where the animals are suffering bc he’s sweet n values ur love for the ocean

but u are looking literally everywhere and he’s tearing up bc ur smiling so wide n ur with hyuck and he’s keeping ur hand warm and j ust looking at u so fondly instead of where he paid to look smh

but u drag him to a lil tiny red fish and it’s so small and energetic n ur like,, “wow bby that fish reminds me of ur good years”

he sighs but agrees tbh

“i’m still hot wym”

but u also see fish that are so beautiful n ur talking about how they remind u of him n he’s gonna SCREAM bc nothing can be prettier than u wtf

he doesn’t say anything tho bc he wants u to keep looking at the flashy colors and how happy or sad or cute they look and just doesn’t want to look away from u bc he is so in love and who knew that looking at fish could make someone so amazingly beautiful i did tbh

n sadly,,,you walk to a different section and go :o at the tiny sharks n how blep they look,, just swimmin with >:0 blep

but u hig h ke y almost scream bc there’s some little kids who r pressing their faces to the glass bc there’s really pretty otters and the otters r just zoomin and playing with each other n having fun bc they r happy

hyuck is shaking at the excitement

u take out ur phone n send pics to the nct st mom gc and all of us respond in .7 seconds,,,even ally smh she’s so busy n inactive i love her,,,abt how amazing an otter is

jade has it as her background on everything in less that 5 seconds 

but as ur also pressing ur face to the glass,, hyuck points out two otters that r really cute n swimming together and u look so fast and squeal at them

hyuck is a cheesy fuk poetic “ahh those remind me of us wow they r so cute”

u wanna smacc but he looks so soft n precious,,,u just can’t ruin his softness

it’s like a full 3 minutes before u move to the dolphins n make fun of chenle smh meet me behind mcdonalds at 4am if u wanna roast my poor bub bc ur just tearing up at how happy and loving he looks,,,my aesthetic is hyuck looking at u with nothing but love in his eyes bc ur the cutest and best thing for him n he is so glad to have met u all those years ago n live with u on nct st n love u forever,, even tho sometimes he has to wake up at 6am bc me n lele r shiverign in the basement bc noodle man is trying to murder or even tho a keet gets stuck in ur room and it’s trying so hard to go back h o m e and i’m sobbing in the driveway bc i lost 1/23 keets n he wants to kill me bc i’m calling him ugly n he’s callin me ugly constantly and i’m annoyin  g but he can’t bc u love meeee

but wow he would go through the worst for u i’m gonna cry

but it’s a lil late when u get back to ur hotel i assume with dozens of pictures n 800+ messages from me tbh abt ur safety n how i don’t want his ugly to rub off on you,, but u r exhausted n ready to sleep n cuddle even if it’s like 7pm 

bUT WAIT

hyuck is askin u to get up so h e can like,,,talk to u better

n he is so 

ugly bc highkey screaming 

ur hair is a lil messy from a long day n ur barely smiling bc u wanna cuddle n ur slouching maybe

but h e thinks ur the most beautiful thing ever n just holds ur face n smooches u all over for 90 minutes until u r laughing n telling him to sNOP

n then he just looks at u so lovingly while ur eyes r shining from that n ur smile is so wide n bIG and he just fukin whips out a power rangers ring n 

“bab ily so much n i wanna b with u for the rest ofm y life pls marry me :D “

u fukin SCREAM 

“ok i would but u have  a fukcinh power rangers ring that cost 2 cents”

“sI K E” n he pulls out a real ring n throws the power rangers one away,, he rly wanted to actually use it but couldnt waste an entire 80 paychecks so u get married w a fukin toy on ur finger

but he is in t ea r s n hugs u so good after u got that $$$swag money$$$ ring on and u r screeching n begging for cuddles and love and ofc he provides n cuddles u to death while still hugging so good and petting ur hair n singing u some old stuff that u really like n then talking with u abt ur future n how u wanna murder me bc i still call him ugly

but ur just so adorable and cute and i’m sobbing bc what a fukin sweetheart

n when u fall asleep he jUSt stays up a little later bc he can’t snop thinking abt how lucky he is n how amazing u are

“blessed by gucci jesus”

n he woNt snop smiling and he just can’t wait to love u forever n see ur smile every day n sing for u all the time n hug u n make u dinner n breakfast n leave cute lil notes in ur lunch for work or send like 800 word messages abt how he wants u to have a good day n think of him if ur sad,,,so pure i want to yell abt poNG

@pcypaige ILYSM AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND HUG YOU SO TIGHT U DI E BUT THEN I WILL REVIVE U WITH HYUCK PHOTO CARDS OMGMGM ILY SOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSO MUCH AN D IM SCREAMIGN 

[yakumtsaki]

I’m in the worst mood ever! Good (?) news for you guys though, cause I need an outlet for my rage so prepare yourselves for.. another profanity filled Union update! Keeping it real and fresh as always, aka what Komei has been doing to the litter 24/7 since our lot can barely contain all the cat shit we’re drowning in. We’re halfway thru completing Komei’s lifetime want, 3 cats at the top of their careers out of 6, and it’s only taken a literal lifetime.

So the situation in the house continues to bear an unsettling resemblance to the last days of the Roman Empire. No wonder these cats can’t get promoted when they’re too busy trying to avoid getting killed by Visigoth Victor. We have Victor vs Ronron...

Victor vs Neo..

Victor vs Alegra..

..and Victor vs Roux! I’m starting to suspect that Victor may be the problem here.

☕

Meanwhile Victoria and Komei are having the time of their lives watching the bloodshed! Last time I saw either of them so happy was when they were cheating on each other. Bread and circuses indeed.

One small glimmer of hope appears when Roux gets this insane bonus and then immediately gets promoted!

I’m all like YAAAAS BITCH SLAY, 4/6!!! and then NOT 2 FUCKING SECONDS LATER:

..............

.........................

...................................FUCK. ME.

How many times is it now that Neo has gotten fired, cause I’ve literally lost count. Imagine if he wasn’t the ~genius one. Way to disgrace your mother’s name!

I’m so upset by Neo’s fuckery that I take Melody and Gunther out clubbing in the middle of the day to feel better. Ah, so cute ❤

SO. CUTE.  ❤

PERFECTION ❤

Unfortunately our milf past is back to haunt us.

-Ooooh, hey there, jaibait ;) Look at your girl. Then back at me-

GODDAMMIT GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BRANDI LETOURNEAU. IS THERE ONE NON-PREDATORY ADULT WOMAN IN THIS TOWN

We run into the Count, and Melody has the honor of being introduced to one of Victoria’s lovers, an important rite of passage for anyone marrying into this family. Congrats, Melody! Let’s ignore Daniel’s first kiss, Lakshmi, who seizes the opportunity of Melody turning her back to discreetly merge herself with Gunther, and then spends the rest of her stay furiously heartfarting over him. Jfc Gunther, what do you do, roll around in honey?

-It’s Axe bodyspray ;)

Ugh fuckboi. You better not cheat on Melody, you hear???

I MEAN SHE GAVE US A FUCKING ELECTROSPHERE AS A DATE PRESENT. Thank you Melody! Finally the litterboxes get the lighting extravaganza they deserve.

AND VICTORIA TOPS HER CAREER. TIME TO RETIRE AND LOUNGE AROUND FOREVER ❤

When I tell you guys that Komei wants to bankrupt us I’m not kidding. Ever the practical spirit, the moment we have some extra cash he starts rolling wants to buy $2k stereos and $5k games. GROW UP

This night is a mixed bag, on one hand Vic topped her career, on the other Gunther got fucking arrested while sneaking out with Mel. Thankfully his parents could not give less of a fuck even though both were awake when Dorian diligently returned him.

-This will teach you to walk around with that glorious mane, leaving no woman for us hair-challenged adults, brat! Stay within your age group!

Looking amazing painting in your hot dog uniform!

-Melody forced me to wear it so no one would hit on me..

Melody knows what’s up.

-God, being monogamous for two entire days sure is tough. My mind is racing with all the hot dog pick up lines I could use..

You’re really too young for me to castrate you, so better just try and channel those frustrations into your art.

-I don't need no drama, I just need some nana, just told my lil' mama, ‘babe, I think I love you, kinda’ ♪

WRONG ART FORM. GOD. Get it together Gunther, cause if you fuck things up with Mel it won’t end well. For you.

-So Gunther, the other day I was thinking of some professions that would be more realistic than your dream of becoming a legendary artist.. Kid’s party magician popped in mind.

-Ugh, don’t listen to him, Gunther, you can’t abandon your dream! I mean look at your father, he had a dream to see 6 pets top their career.. and 40 years later.. he’s still nowhere near achieving it! HAHA. What a fucking loser you are, dear. God, I can’t believe I married you, what the fuck was I thinking. All I got was stretchmarks and two decades of sleeping next to the overwhelming aroma of cat excrement. In conclusion, Gunther, you and your brothers were giant mistakes.. What were we talking about again?

Yea, seems about right. Komei is, once again, on the verge of aspiration failure, which you know, when is he not. He finally does roll one want I can complete tho..

Cooking competition! I cannot stress enough how much I ignore anything Free Time related, like I’ve been playing this game since I was 10 and I only discovered that special hobby lots exist last year. So yea, this is a first for both me and Komei, but we’re in this together! We submit our specialty, cat hair covered chili..

The competition is fierce. Thank god Komei’s loving family has come along to support him!

-Why are we here again?

-Some of your father’s cat beauty pageant shit or something, who cares.. STOP MOVING YOUR HANDS SO FAST

LOL look at these anxious flops. Our Komei is cool as a cucumber tho! Wtf is a professional chef doing here?? This feels very unfair, they should be in a league of their own. If we lose to her I’m gonna appeal and then burn this place to the ground.

And we’re up first! Is the judge gonna appreciate our secret ingredients of cat hair and saliva???

YAS. A very promising reaction!

LMAO professional chef flops! Bet she didn’t have a trace of pet dna in that cake!

I can’t quite decode this expression, but I think it signifies expectations not being met. FLOP

Yea mte, blondie. Who tf enters salad into a cooking competition? A non-starter if there ever was one!

WE WIN AND WE HAVE THE DICK STICKER TO PROVE IT. GET IT KOMES

I don't know what you heard about me, but a bitch can't get a dollar outta me ♪

No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see, that I'm a motherfuckin' P.I.M.P. ♪

Congrats, Komei! How lucky you are to have your family share in this moment of triumph! 

-You won’t believe this mom, but Neo got fired AGAIN

-LOLOL. Wait, why do I have a feeling we’re supposed to be doing something else right now?

-Is it playing more red hands?

-Yes!

We return home, where og weeaboo Tom Cruise/Last Samurai graces us with his presence! Looking good, Tom. Meanwhile Vic has an emotional moment in the rain contemplating the artistic merit of the flamingos. Idk why both she and Komei have become obsessed with them ever since they aged up but it’s pretty depressing. And then, as Komei is soundly asleep, the unthinkable happens...

SIMULTANEOUS FUCKING PROMOTIONS. I wish I had something more eloquent to say about this but the best I can muster is FUCKING. BYE. THE FUCK. I DID IT.

THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER. IT’LL BE A COLD DAY IN HELL IF WE TRAIN A CAT AGAIN IN THE NEXT 9 GENERATIONS. NEVER AGAIN.

AND WE’RE FINALLY OFF TO COLLEGE. GOD. Melody comes over on her own and we have this dramatic moment of Gunther ~passing her by, off to join his brothers at La Fiesta Tech. And to slut it up. Or is he??? I legit don’t know yet, but find out next time in The Unions: College is a Scam.