#i cannot for the life of me remember who's on my tag list anymore

[helenazbmrskai]

Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke. [1/2]

Title [Guide on how to not marry the Northern Duke.]

Pairing [Northen Duke! Yoongi x Reincarnated! Reader]

Genre [Fantasy Romance, Reincarnation, World in a novel AU, future smut and angst]

Summary [You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death at the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.]

Words [11,5k ; part 1 out of 2]

Warnings [mistreatment and negligence, period drama, slow burn, mention of blood and drugs, tiny sexual tension]

Rating [+18 overall but this part is a tame +14]

A/N: Guess who’s back again? ME. I’ve been working on this for a lot and I know I already have a similar story on going but I just couldn’t get over this idea in my head. So enjoy! And as always excuse me for the typos.

Masterlist // part 2 (end) // I don't do tag lists anymore I'm sorry!

Every story needs a good start, and this one starts now with an old tale, much older than you.

There’s an ancient fairytale that tells you about the funding of the Empire and it all starts when God left.

Tired of human foolishness and deeply rooted malice he left the world he created to turn around its axis and burn down on its own; famine started to scavenge the continent as war broke out in every corner of the human world. Each kingdom perished one by one until only one was left.

It seemed like humanity would be wiped out permanently in no time but then just when they all thought there was no turning back, a saintess appeared among the rest and divided the continent into four regions with the help of the received divine power. That’s the birth of the empire’s central city where the empress Hyeri ruled over the four divided territories.

To prevent war from breaking out again the saintess turned to the heavens and pleaded while crying out to their maker and hearing her prayers the God who left decided to give them one last chance at redemption seeing the pure heart in front of him.

That’s when the holy prophecy was made.

Each chosen duke was granted unique powers to rule over their territories. However great powers come with great responsibilities. In the end, there’s always a price to pay but that’s the tale of another story.

This is how peace finally settled over the world once more. In exchange for the powers, the dukes wrote a blood oath that prevented them from stealing each other’s powers or waging unnecessary war. However just like every pact it wasn’t perfect. Loopholes could be taken advantage of but momentarily peace was forged.

This is the short version of the founding tale of the originated Kingdom that was taught to the people of the empire throughout generations. You particularly remember these starting lines from the novel you read in your previous life. The introduction is something you often skip through but thankfully you didn’t do that with this one.

The four families who inherited great power were Kim, Jung, Min and Jeon. When you first read the story introduction you thought that it’s quite lame and generic to base the family's attributes on the four seasons. However, seeing one of the duke’s illustrations you decided to read it all.

When choosing a book to read you only pay attention to the hotties. In this case, it wasn’t any different either.

A mysterious and cold duke of the north is something that a girl cannot ignore to save her life.

Each duke possesses an artefact which comes in the form of a ring and different precious gemstones that fit into the depression are named after the four seasons using a dead language.

Nix - means snow, which makes the wearer the lord of winter. The most handsome guy throughout the entire book in your opinion. Next, Saltus - translates to forest which is the symbol of spring. Umbra is shade and Calor is heat. The last remaining ones are autumn and summer. Each duke is the epitome of beauty, and their descendants are no exception.

This is a fantasy romance novel you read before you died in a sudden hit and run accident.

The original story is about an orphan girl Hyo who is the lost daughter of the king. After she’s found – the plot starts as she meets the four archdukes at the annual imperial ball and falls in love with the lord of Spring. Kim Taehyung. A handsome man with good manners and unmatched beauty as he’s described in the book. She’s captured by one look of the male lead’s brown eyes and shiny blond curly hair. Despite their fairytale-like first meeting, their love is not exempt from hardships. Their first obstacle is the villainess Kim Y/N who falls in love with Taehyung at first sight at the same ball and sets her eyes on marrying him but in the end, she fails to murder Hyo and gets beheaded by the second male lead Min Yoongi as an imperial order.

Hyo and Taehyung then live happily ever after and the novel ‘Flowers bloom in the heart of the Lost Princess’ ends there.

You see, dying a second time is not an option even if the one you possessed is Y/N.

You need to make an elaborate plan so you can avoid your impending death by the hands of your favourite character so you can’t just sit around and wait for something to happen – no matter how distraught you wake up one day in an unfamiliar bed.

Even though there’s no chance you will fall in love with the Duke of Spring like in the original novel – things can still go wrong if you make changes in the natural flow of the story, so you need to think this through carefully. You need to think about the plot holes and that the characters you see can be different from what you read in the book as that only tells you one side of the story.

The first thing you need to change gradually is the way the servants and the Duke see you.

The first week when you reincarnated as Y/N you spent your days with a high fever bedridden, you’re not sure if the pain came from the strain of absorbing the real Y/N’s memories or if something else is behind it. Your health is very poor as your medical history suggested, but you get accustomed to the villainess' body step by step. After another week your probation ended so you were able to leave the estate freely again. There were days when sudden headaches interrupted your day and, in the morning, you often coughed up blood.

You ignored it at first because the symptoms seemed to get better with time, and you had no way of knowing if it was normal. You didn’t ask in case someone found it suspicious. The most important thing right now is that you need to focus on staying alive and avoiding your death at the end of this novel – this is what you thought without knowing anything at that time.

As the plot thickens when you least expect it.

It’s not just your weird health conditions your head hurts just from thinking about the actions of the real owner of this body.

You just can’t grasp why a beautiful woman like Y/N would do those cruel things when she has everything she could’ve asked for. She’s a rich girl born with a golden spoon in her mouth, and she gets crazy just because she can’t have a man. It feels unnatural. If someone asks you to choose between life and a man you would choose life without hesitation.

You can have another man but not another life. Er, well – in your case, you do get another one thought but that’s beside the point.

Even before that incident happened with the female lead, she had a terrible reputation among the nobles.

Well – you can’t do anything if you’re not well rested so you will just think about this a bit later. You can’t possibly pull another all-nighter to study how this novel works. You close your eyes to finally get some shut eye when some woman barges into your room without knocking forcefully parting your curtains to let the early rays of sunshine in. The sound of her voice makes you freeze. This uncomfortable feeling suddenly ripped through your body as if a pile of rocks were sitting on your chest not letting you breathe. While you gained some of Y/N’s memories there are still holes in those fragments that you’re unsure of. However, her feelings are so intense sometimes that your body reacts like clockwork.

What you feel after hearing her voice is sheer terror. Who is this woman that even a villainess like Y/N is even afraid of? You can’t open your eyes as if your body is doing it unconsciously, unmoving like a doll to protect itself. Someone is coming closer.

You feel a prick on your forearm and your eyes fly open due to the pain. Her name appears in your mind as soon as you see her face and some of Y/N’s memories flood your head regarding that nasty woman. She triggers something dark in your eyes to appear.

Your nanny, Biwon.

“Wake up. Are you planning to sleep till the afternoon?” Biwon lets out a fake troubled sigh and her eyes are full of arrogance when you meet them you freeze completely at the sight.

“I’m sorry nanny.” Your mouth moves on its own like a broken record. It feels like this is not the first time she wakes Y/N up with a prick of a needle and the apology comes to her like second nature. Y/N’s attitude shows all kinds of trauma of being abused. How is it that this was never mentioned in the novel? While not much was mentioned about how she grew up you would think this is a piece of important information to have.

“Wash your face the duke requested to have breakfast with you for some reason.” She left without giving you any kind of assistance like a maid should do. At last, the water in the basin is ice cold to the touch and murky it manages to wake you up completely from shock.

You’re not just imagining it. Biwon has complete power over Y/N even though she’s the lady of the house.

You knew that the other maids avoided Y/N because of her temperament but to think that she’s been through manipulation and abuse by someone so close to her. Because Biwon is the one who spent the most time next to Y/N ever since she was a child everyone buys her lies. No one pays attention to Y/N, not her father or her brother.

She has no one to rely on in this household.

Biwon deliberately made her isolated in her own home so she could control and exploit her. Her malicious plan is clear to you after observing the situation objectively. What else is there that was not mentioned in the novel? Things might be more complicated than you thought.

However, this is not the time to ponder over this. You need to get ready alone. It didn’t take you long to realise Biwon forbids the maids from helping you so you can embarrass yourself in front of your family. While the real Y/N would have problems with getting dressed and being presentable without help as she’s a noble – there’s one tiny fault in your nanny’s plan – that she has no idea that you’re a modern woman who can wear her own fucking dress and get ready all by herself. She has a lot of extravagant dresses, so you had a hard time choosing but then something caught your eye. This dress has been buried deep in your wardrobe, a solid light cream-coloured dress with an elegant bow in the front. This is the perfect dress.

You do light makeup to match the dress and leave your long hair down after brushing it. While you were getting dressed you saw the countless bruises on your skin and your right arm was full of holes from the needle your nanny used to stab you with to wake you up. It’s good that the dress is long-sleeved. There’s no way the maids don’t know about your abuse since they bathe you. So, your guess is they are either the nanny’s people or they just simply don’t care enough to tell the duke. It’s clear the duke doesn’t care about Y/N so it wouldn’t benefit them to tell him when they could face the wrath of your nanny if she finds out. They think he wouldn’t do anything about it, and you think so too.

You feel compassion for Y/N. She was made to be a villain even if it doesn’t excuse her actions in the end. It’s only been two weeks for you, but she had to endure this for a lifetime.

You’re determined to change her future even more now that you know the truth. You’re going to live for her as well.

Opening the door to your room you find a maid waiting for you to lead you to the dining room as per the duke’s request. She looks taken aback by your neat appearance but doesn’t say anything and just shows you the way.

She dares to walk ahead of you. Even if you want to give her a piece of your mind you hold yourself back, you can’t afford to create a ruckus and be sent back to probation. It’s not that you care about who walks in front of you it’s the meaning of this action that angers you.

You hold back by creating a fist the pain of your nails digging into your palms in half-moon shapes keeps your head clear and controls your bubbling rage. You’re going to show everyone how Y/N won’t bow down anymore. You’re not a doormat that everyone can just walk over.

You’re not going to let everyone disrespect you ever again but to achieve that you need to make a plan and be more patient.

First thing first you need to make the duke care about you to an extent so he will listen to you. Good thing that you know the novel. You might be able to use that information to get what you want. You’re not going to make him like you, you just need to be useful for him to look at you. You’re not sure he would be even capable of liking you in the first place – not that you would want that after he neglected Y/N like that. Talk about loving family, this is just another example of being blood-related sometimes does not matter.

It's not like he’s your real dad anyway.

The dining room is just as fancy as the rest of the mansion. By the time you arrive the duke and your brother are already seated and chatting. The duke is sitting at the head of the table and Seokjin is sitting on his right.

Your tableware is set away from them probably a scheme made by your nanny to keep you isolated.

She must be afraid of why the duke suddenly wanted to dine with you when he usually never bothers to see you. You can’t let this golden opportunity pass like that. You’re going to make the most of it.

“Good morning, Father, Brother. Sorry for being late.” You give them a little courtesy. You’re careful to get your posture nice and graceful like you read in the etiquette book. The nanny purposefully discouraged the young Y/N to skip classes and remain a dumb doll for her to exploit but you’re not going to let her continue to do that.

While your posture is not perfect this will at least show that you’re trying to be as polite as possible.

You stayed up all night for an entire week to study about this new world’s etiquette and history to play your part more convincingly who knew that your knowledge would come in handy in a situation like this? You’re thankful that you decided to study even before you realised the nanny’s schemes.

You school your features to remain passive as you look at the grand duke’s and your brother’s dumb expressive faces. It looks like they are seeing a ghost. Even though you’re annoyed to be bent like that you keep the position until you receive the acknowledgement like a lady should. How annoying that you must bow like that until you are recognised by a man.

“It’s alright. Sit down, Y/N.” The duke gives you a curt nod seemingly flustered that he stared at you for so long. You remind him of his late wife a lot dressed like that. To everyone’s biggest surprise, you take a seat directly on his left side facing your brother.

You remain silent in your seat knowing that the duke’s pride will take a hit if he doesn’t correct the mistake that he didn’t even notice until you sat down. Usually, they wouldn’t care if you sit far away, they would probably think that you were the one who wanted the seat away from them in the first place as a sign of defiance but they can’t deny that you’re the lady of the house so to assume you would sit far away is an arrogant mistake on the servants part.

“What are you waiting for give my daughter a set and bring the food.” Thankfully the duke is just like you expected. He looks annoyed at the servants. His authority is absolute so the maids scurry to bring you some new tableware and bring out the food. The lonely set is forgotten at the rear end of the table. This is the first time you see something so mouthwatering in a while since you were forced to eat in your room and the food, they brought you was not even close to this. Now that you think about it, it was probably some leftover from the kitchen. No wonder Y/N is this thin.

It probably wasn’t even part of her punishment so someone must be stealing the food that is made for Y/N.

It’s hard to control your expression or your body language that is burned into your body by nature. You’re feeling uncomfortable all over that you can’t enjoy the food at all. It’s sad to see how rigid you are in the presence of your supposed family members. You don’t have any appetite even though you feel like you’re starving.

“How are things with Gold Wing? Did you manage to get them to agree with our terms?”

The Gold Wing is under the jurisdiction of the House of Summer. The old man Jung Jeyhun is a greedy man who keeps delaying his son’s succession because he wants to keep his title as an archduke. He’s the hidden boss of this novel. Y/N can’t compare with an evil villain like him. There’s probably no one else who knows he’s backing that trading company. You’re an exception only because you read the novel and know everything about how he wants to be the sole ruler of the Empire. He’s behind many unfortunate events that happen in the novel that no one finds out about until it’s too late.

“No. They’re trying to sell their stones for double the price. Knowing that none of the other companies have that much supply since they bought the rights to the mines.” Your brother looks irritated as if he recalls the meeting with the head of the company vividly.

No wonder they are cocky, they have the backing of House Summer, and they cheated the other rival companies out of the right to produce this type of stone that’s particularly high priced in the first section of the book. This stone is called Stelar which is steel but it’s a novel, so they had to give it a fancy name. Swords here are mainly made from two important ingredients iron or steel, but steel has a longer durability and is easy to craft to different shapes, so they tend to use that instead of iron which is way cheaper because of this fact. The knights used swords made with Stelar but because of the high price, it was hard to come by after the Gold Wing trading company monopolized the rights.

Their goal is to weaken the other three houses’ military power by selling the stones at a high price and getting funds for their territory but it’s not the only reason. The swords they sell are not simply made of Stelar. Steel is an alloy of iron. Iron needs to be mixed with carbon to make steel. They use some steel and put more iron to degrade the quality of the sword which breaks more easily than it should. You remember learning of it in school in your previous life, but these people don’t know of it because the novel has plot holes here and there. Since the novel focuses on the main characters things that are not related to them too much have more freedom to change, and things may differ as the author cannot mention every little thing. This could be what you need to make changes.

The truth that they tempered with the swords that got imported only comes to light when Yoongi investigates the company when he almost loses the battle with the barbarians but that battle only happens when you reach nearly half of the novel. He could tell that there was a difference in quality when he saw the sword break too easily. He made an assumption just by that and the fact that the new sword became heavier due to the added mass of iron.

Even if you feel bad for taking credit for his discovery you need to use that information, he finds out later so you can survive in this household.

“May I speak up, father?” You heard enough to grasp the current situation. You need to speak up before you lose your courage.

“What can you even contribute to this conversation?” Your brother looks angry that he got interrupted. In your eyes he’s not scary he’s just a big child throwing a tantrum when things don’t go his way. You decide to calmly face him even if you have to hide your nervousness by clasping your hands together under the table for comfort. Still can’t control the original Y/N’s physical reactions.

“I don’t think I asked brother.”

The duke raises his hand to silence Jin before he can spit out angrier remarks. The moment you appeared and gracefully bowed wearing your mother’s dress the duke could tell that something about you just became different. The air around you is filled with determination.

He got reports of you acting unusually tame so he asked you to dine together and see it for himself.

Your eyes that only reflected the world around it suddenly became full of will to live.

He’s curious to hear what you have to say. Usually, you wouldn’t speak unless you were spoken to. “Do you perhaps have a good idea of how to deal with them?” He proposes fully giving you his attention.

“The problem is that we don’t have Stelar to make swords for the knights, right? I suggest we find a mine suitable to harvest the stones we need that way we don’t have to depend on the trading company.”

“Are you a fool? Do you think if we could produce it, we would continue to make this ridiculous deal work?” You’re getting tired of your brother always cutting in. You can’t get angry though. The first thing you need to change is how people see you and you can’t get angry because the people around you will call you a temperamental child even if your anger is justified. They wouldn’t care either way they just want to belittle you. You just need to not allow them to do so.

“We have a place like that in our territory that could be suitable. I can mark it on a map if you’d like.” Even though the duke might be suspicious of how you know of a place like that he will investigate either way. This deal is too good to pass up on.

In hopes of discovering a new mine, he will even accept the flimsy lie of you just discovered it by reading some book and looking at maps.

“Alright. I will instruct the knights to check it out. If what you said is true, I will reward you.” You nod your head pleased with the outcome of this uncomfortable breakfast.

In the novel the imperial prince comes across the mine in your territory when he’s running away from assassins and due to his discovery, he gets praised by the king for solving a big problem. However, if you find the mine first that puts you in a favourable position with the other houses and even the king if you give the stones at a lower price making the Gold Wing trading company lose its base customers by making better deals.

Thankfully that painful breakfast comes to an end soon as father’s aid whispers something into his ear. He leaves in a hurry which makes you think it’s about something important and work-related.

Your brother leaves without saying a word so you can finally enjoy your food alone.

Ever since you came to this place you’ve never been this full before, it puts you in a fairly good mood. You even managed to grab the duke’s attention and for once got something more filling than stale bread.

All you need to do is wait until the mine is discovered and now that one thing is out of the way you need to start with disciplining your maids and get your nanny kicked out. Biwon had a good life here up to this point because now that you’re here you will make it a living hell for her, and that’s a promise.

“What did you talk about with the duke?” You’re not surprised to find your nanny in your room when you get back. She looks anxious you can see how her nails are bitten and she slightly thumps her foot. You got back early so if you tell her some half-truths, she won’t suspect you that much.

“He didn’t talk to me at all. He only talked with my brother about work that I don’t understand. I don’t know why they keep ignoring me. You’re the only one who cares about me, nanny.” Good thing that the maids left after serving the meal, you would be in trouble if someone overheard you and you were caught lying. You bury your head in her apron to conceal your disgusted expression when she caresses your head.

You need to act like usual, so she won’t suspect a thing. If her guard is down, it will be easier for you to make your move.

You can easily produce some fake tears for the greater good.

“That’s right, only I care about you. Who else would love a useless child like you.” You bite your tongue to hold back when Biwon hugs you. You agree with her even if you want to break her arms that hugs you like a shameless person.

Biwon doesn’t use needles on you again to erase her marks since you started to dine with the duke. Thankfully she doesn’t realise what you’re planning.

The mine you talked about last time turned out to be true and the duke was very happy to get back at the Gold Wing trading company. He started to make a profit thanks to you, and he even listened to your suggestion of lowering the price to sell it to the other houses. Developing the mining ground consumes a lot of money at the moment but the profit will be greater than ever if it’s finished. You asked to have dinner with them every day as a reward which made him look surprised. He reluctantly agreed when you asked to make your contribution a secret for now you can’t let your nanny hear about it just yet. The duke probably thought he would buy you some clothes and accessories and you will be all set. Unfortunately for them, you don’t care about luxuries especially if it comes from them.

While you would prefer to not eat with them you need to show the staff that you’re indeed the lady of the house. Now they are giving you the bare minimum of respect after the maid got scolded by your father after the tableware incident.

You didn’t think Jin would come after you excused yourself from the meal. Right when you leave the dining room your brother appears halting you in your step and grabbing your hand forcefully to stop you in your tracks.

“Where are you going in a hurry so dressed up?” Your wrist throbs in his hold. That bastard how could he grab the hand of his sister so hard? Compared to him your body is so small you look like a child next to him. You’re not surprised since you were malnourished before. You’re sure it will bruise badly but you refuse to show him that he’s hurting you.

“I believe it’s none of my brother’s business where I go in my free time.” You look into his eyes with confidence. Y/N was always longing for her brother’s love but you’re not the real Y/N and you will never consider him your brother, so his attitude doesn’t bother you at all emotionally. He simply became a person you’re forced to live with and tolerate for now.

If everything is over you will cut ties with them for good.

“You’ve been acting weird ever since your probation. If this is your way of seeking attention from father or I, that will never happen no matter what you’re scheming.”

Using the moment of his surprise you get out of his hold and get farther away from him. Your smile says it all. ‘I don’t consider you a brother so go to hell’. You’re getting angry but you refuse to show him any reaction even if you can’t exactly control the fire in your eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid of that. I don’t consider people who neglect and belittle me my family at all. I don’t need your love or attention anymore.” You show him your back confidently as you walk away from his frozen form.

“Gaon prepare some indigestion medicine for me. Is the carriage ready?” Jin catches your voice talking to your maid still frozen on the spot you left him.

Your eyes looked different. When you were young you used to beg for his affection always clinging to him but now. Why does it look like you despise him and why does it bother him?

He never felt anything for you for a very long time.

“Yes, my lady everything is like you instructed.” You nod satisfied by the way things progress.

Now there’s only one thing left to do.

You’re on your way to meet with the head of the blacks information guild. The only one who could top the Gold Wing trading company by power would be them. The blacks is one of the largest information-selling guilds – trading only to deceive people and hide the fact that they know everything that can be known throughout the empire.

They have men everywhere. The head is conveniently the second young master of house Autumn who currently stays in House Summer territory. Jeon Jungkook is clever enough to know that information is the most important thing to have the upper hand this is how he was able to survive the battle for succession.

It will be probably dangerous to meet him but you will have to take this gamble on if you want things to work out you need the backing of the most powerful guild in the empire.

Convenient that the duke doesn’t care about Y/N’s safety so you don’t need to play hide and seek with the guards you can do your business without getting interrupted. If you say you don’t need an escort, they back off immediately and let you leave.

Following the novel’s description, you look for a house with a red chimney and a black door away from the main streets. Once you find it you have to knock two then three times until someone asks, “Are you lost?” and you have to reply with “Yes can you tell me where can I find black paint?” - and you’re in.

It’s only a select few that know about this code so Jungkook will be suspicious of how a lady with a bad reputation knows about it, but you came to make a deal that he can’t refuse. You can talk around the fact of how you know about their secret entrance.

As you expected Jungkook came himself to greet you, you could recognise that brown hair and emerald eyes anywhere.

“Please have a seat. I prepared some tea.” His smile is pleasant but calculating. His intentions are clear unlike when you talk to your blood relatives, so you’re surprisingly relaxed in his presence. Jungkook is intrigued by your body language. Usually, people are distrustful of him because of his mask. Your eyes tell him that you know more than you look.

“I have a request to make. I would like to know what this liquid is and any information that you can get on it or the bottle.” Jungkook is said to like straightforward people, so you try to be confident.

Jungkook laughs seeing your confidence. You exceed his expectations he heard that you’re stupid and extravagant with a bad temper, but it seems like his information is outdated. That needs to change he smirks.

He gives you credit for realising he wields information. Usually, people come to his guild to do business. Not many know that the purpose of the blacks is different.

“How much will you pay me for the information?”

“I heard I can pay with information for information. I have something important to tell you anyway.”

“Oh.” People rarely have any information that he doesn’t already know but you look so confident that he has to humour you. “Please enlighten me.” Taking a relaxed laid-back pose he awaits your answer.

“The head of the Gold Wing trading company is the current Duke of House Summer and he has a spy in your guild.” The only reason the blacks are not at the top is because of the upper hand they gain from the spy. No one would suspect that Jungkook’s right-hand man is a spy. He causes the guild’s destruction near the end of the novel. Heartbroken from the betrayal Jungkook is stabbed by him in the end.

Jungkook grips the side of the sofa after hearing your daring words until the wood slightly splits. He doesn’t usually trust people so to think that someone betrayed him feels impossible.

“I’m not saying that without evidence. There’s a tree in the back looking directly at the alleyway if you dig the dirt near the roots, you will find a letter with a coded message it was placed there this afternoon so you have to look for it before sunrise. I swear on my life that if I lie to you, you have the right to kill me.” The only way he will believe you is if you match the sacrifice for your accusation. Your life is on the line, but you know you’re right.

Or that you hope it’s the same as in the novel.

Jungkook instructs one of his men to look for the tree. He visibly pales when he sees the man come back with a dirty envelope. He reads the letter with a face of indifference, but you know he is furious deep inside and somewhat sad. Trust is not easily given away by him.

“Who— ” Jungkook closes his eyes to compose himself. “Who is the spy?” He appears distraught which is normal considering the fact you just dumped on him suddenly.

You hesitate for a moment. You know this information will hurt him, but he is entitled to the truth – and you do this to save his life in the end. “It’s Sam.”

You can tell it hit him hard but you don’t think he doesn’t believe you. He might get angry and it’s really not your place to intervene. However, you know this feeling very well. Being betrayed by someone you trusted. If nothing else you can sympathise with that feeling.

“Please excuse my rudeness.” You tell before you impulsively side-hug him. He’s so surprised by your embrace that he doesn’t try to push you away immediately. You’re so warm and your hand is comforting on his back. He doesn’t know you, but it feels like you understand him to some extent.

He closes his eyes and lets this moment pass by. Hidden from prying eyes it’s just – you and him for this moment.

At last, he composes himself and accepts your request. He even gives you a pendant that’s only given to the highest-ranking customers saying that your information is worth that much.

It’s a pretty pendant with a black snake on it. Looks like a masterpiece.

Thankfully nothing out of the ordinary happened while you were out. You were able to enjoy some snacks when you got back in peace as your nanny was on vacation.

You need to make your move while Biwon is away your plan needs to be done by the time she gets back. Thanks to the blacks information guild – you were able to identify the liquid your nanny made you drink every day — you only had to wait two days to hear from them.

Your discovery is enraging and liberating at the same time.

It helped you put the pieces together and even gave you an advantage to work with. To finally know the full truth of what happened to Kim Y/N. This could be a good explanation for why you couldn’t access all her memories or why some things become hazy the longer you thought about it.

Life was way too cruel for a girl like Y/N.

Now that you’ve set up the stage you just need to wait for the protagonists to arrive.

Biwon seems relaxed after her vacation; she probably enjoyed a luxurious life out of the jewellery she stole from you. You’re getting sick just from seeing her smile. It must have felt good to be able to look down on a noble lady and make Y/N cater to her all this time, exploiting a poor young lady. To think that all those rumours come from her to isolate and degrade her. She should smile while she can you think smirking through the rim of your cup.

Now’s showtime.

The taste of tea is familiar in your mouth. Due to double the dose of the liquid she made you drink each morning the symptoms came earlier than you anticipated. Suddenly getting on the drug after you stopped taking it is a huge risk, but you need to prove her involvement in the crime.

You didn’t think it would hurt this much though. Your head clouded over soon, and your body collapsed on the floor in tremor.

Gaon called the doctor immediately as you instructed and while you were getting examined your other trusted maid planted the evidence in your nanny’s room. It didn’t take long to see Biwon try to escape your trap, but it was too late when the knights found the medicine bottle.

She had nowhere to run to.

You regained consciousness but it was hard for you to open your eyes yet. The pain you felt in your abdomen felt unbearable, but you need to see this through till the end.

“I can’t believe I didn’t notice this. To tell the truth, the lady came to me often to ask for headache medicine.” You could feel the worry in the doctor’s voice. You feel bad for suspecting him at first. He might be the only one to actually care for Y/N in this forsaken house.

“This drug is called blackroot it’s made from a rare flower that was used in a war experiment in the past. The characteristic of the flower is that it can manipulate the mind – it makes the user unable to control their temper and creates hazy thoughts. While it works as a brainwashing technique it has all kinds of side effects such as explosive temper, haziness, headaches, loss of appetite and memory loss. The longer someone takes it the more fragile that person will become.”

No wonder Y/N is this thin. When you first heard about this drug you felt incredibly furious to make her take such a dangerous drug just because Biwon was greedy for things she couldn’t have.

Once the dizziness subsided you were able to open your eyes it seemed like the medicine the doctor gave you had some effect. The pain is still there but your head is clearer.

“I- didn’t do this! I was framed!” Biwon begs on her knees in front of the duke and young master but seeing their reactions no one actually buys that half-hearted accusation. Serves her right.

You made sure to get solid evidence of her crime.

You’re able to sit up thanks to Gaon’s help and you look down upon your nanny with a hard expression.

You cannot believe this is finally over.

Now no one will dare to take advantage of you after this incident comes to light. It won’t make your reputation restored to how it was before but at least it will provide you with a good opportunity to show the people around you that you’re different without having to fear someone figuring out you’re not the real Y/N.

“Have the witnesses come forward.” The maid who is questioned is shaking like a leaf in front of the duke.

“Who served Y/N tea?” Jin comes forward to interrogate the maids. For some reason, he looks livid. It’s probably because of their pride. How dare they manipulate the duke’s daughter a mere maid. – they probably think like that.

“The nanny always prepares the tea for the lady in the morning. No one was allowed to touch it I swear I didn’t know that the lady’s tea had blackroot in it.”

“That’s right, we were never allowed to serve her tea or be present when she made it we would be only called when the lady was about to get dressed.” If they were present at all you think for yourself as you roll your eyes.

“N- No! That…” Biwon looks around like a cornered animal. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. No, you promised the real Y/N that you would not let her go so easily.

“I’ve heard enough. Drag her to the underground dungeon.” After hearing the duke’s command, the knights drag Biwon out of the room. Finally, some quiet. Your head is killing you.

“Everyone leave, now. My daughter needs to rest.” As if seeing it on you that you’re nearly at your limits the grand duke instructs everyone to let you be.

Everyone leaves except for one person. Jin looks torn as he contemplates what to say to his sister.

You know the reason why Jin treated Y/N with contempt is because of that incident in the past. Y/N mad because of withdrawal symptoms from the drug called him a monster. She told him that because of him their mother died, and she even threw a teacup in his face that made him bleed. In reality, she partially blamed him for being forgotten and emotionally abused. After that Jin ignored her altogether. While saying those things are hash and not justified because of the drugs the behaviour of her brother is not something that you can overlook either. There’s no clear line to determine what’s right or wrong. You can’t simply judge if someone deserves forgiveness as it entirely depends on the person who’s granting it.

There are no right or wrong answers.

Their relationship was probably a bad fate. You’re not his sister so you have no intention of making up with him even though he’s wearing that pitiful expression. You feel bad for Y/N but you’re not going to live as her shadow forever. Once this story ends you will leave this kingdom and live as yourself. To make that happen you need to keep your relationship with Y/N’s family distant just like before so you could leave without problems in the future.

“How are you feeling?” Y/N has memories of when her brother spoke to her softly like this. Too bad it’s too late for Y/N to see this. You pull your hand away when he tries to hold it.

“This doesn’t change a thing between you and me. I would appreciate it if you could ignore me like before.” You turn away not inclined to see that pitiful expression on his face anymore.

Thankfully he leaves without a fuss this time.

Things are only growing more awkward as time passes. You made the suggestion of dining with them every day to avoid being punished by Biwon, but it comes back to bite you in the ass now that she’s gone, and no one dares to bother you anymore. You ignore the looks of pity you receive from the staff. They were the ones who ignored and badmouthed you. They have no right to take pity on you at all.

Those who did not try to see the truth don’t deserve to feel regretful.

It's annoying to see the duke and your brother try to get closer to you. They have no idea what Y/N had to go through while they were living in their blissful ignorance.

You wonder if things would have been different if she had been born as a boy in this period. Women are often ill-fated. How tragic.

“Your birthday is coming up in a few months. Do you have something in mind about how you want the celebration banquette?” Your fork freezes in the air when the duke calls you.

While you don’t want a party it would be good to build your reputation. You have no choice but to have one.

“I’ll prepare for it. Thank you for your concern.” You keep your eyes on the food. After taking that double dose your appetite seems to be worse than before. You need to gain some weight, you’re too thin as it is.

“Don’t worry about the budget just prepare how you like.” You’re getting dizzy this is getting bad you overestimated and thought some rest was all you needed. You need to take better care of yourself if you want to beat the final boss of the story. This is about time you meet with your favourite character as well. You need to look your best even if he only glances at you for a second. You’re getting excited just thinking about him.

“Alright. Excuse me I’m full.” You step away from the table to leave and prepare for the upcoming events when you lose your sight for a moment. Thankfully the head butler catches you in time that you’re not faceplanting the floor this moment.

“I’m fine. Thank you.” You push the old man away with reddened ears. This is so embarrassing.

“I’ll carry you to your room.” Your hand automatically holds onto your brother when he suddenly picks you up, to keep your balance. Now you’re really getting tired of their sudden act of affection.

“I said. I’m fine.” You pursue your lips in a frown when he keeps ignoring you to let you down.

“You can hate me all you want. I deserve it but I’m not letting you down.” You’re speechless. At least he knows. It doesn’t matter if he has regrets now that you solved everything.

If it weren’t for your effort and sacrifice things would have been left alone and you would be still suffering without anyone to rely on at the hands of your greedy nanny.

They can feel guilty all they want; it doesn’t change a thing. If anything, you’re feeling angrier about how they think they have the right to make things right after everything that has happened.

It’s bothersome.

“It won’t change anything. No matter how hard you try I’ll never consider you as family again. Not after you and father abandoned me. You don’t know anything about me or how much I suffered. If you didn’t care then don’t care now.” It’s probably hard to hear and somewhat you feel guilty for saying that since you don’t know what Y/N would have wanted but this is how you feel.

You’re torn about what you should do.

This is supposed to be your home when you feel the safest.

However, you can’t remember a single good memory or a time when you felt relaxed in this place. It just makes you sad.

“I understand.” His hand around you tightens just a tiny bit before he relaxes his posture and the hands that hold you gently. At least he’s not trying to come up with excuses. He knows fully well that what you told him was the truth. They have no idea how much you had to suffer since they kept ignoring you. His heart is getting heavy when he realises how light his sister feels in his arms. A woman in her twenties should weight a lot more than this. He’s carrying you with care and gently places you on top of your bed. You have no intention of getting closer to him, but it’s been bothering you for a while ever since you saw that memory. You feel like they don’t deserve your kindness. You wonder if Y/N would be forgiving. If she would be able to embrace them and trust them again. You know you can’t.

“You’re not a monster and I’m sorry for saying that so stop thinking about useless things.” You impulsively grab his hand before he can leave. This is all you can give him as an apology – you know Y/N probably would have wanted him to hear that at least. Something wavers in his eyes. You didn’t think such a small gesture would make him cry. Now that you think about it probably no one said such words to him before. His biggest fear. From an early age, he always heard that his mother died because of him. It shouldn’t be a small child’s fault. It makes you feel like this whole family is just unfortunate.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” Jin holds your hand with shaking fingers. You can clearly feel his tears fall as he pushes his face into your palm seeking some comfort. You don’t know how but you can feel that this apology is sincere. You don’t have the heart to push him away this time.

Just this once you will allow it.

“The captain of the imperial guards shouldn’t cry like this.” You pat his head while he cries. Seeing such a powerful figure crying into your skirt on his knees feels weird.

He hadn’t left for a while and even when he did, he looked reluctant. You could tell what he was thinking without having to hear him say it. He’s afraid that the next time you see him you will push him away and avoid him. Your hand on his head and your words comforted him. He’s the one who did wrong but, in the end, you helped him instead deal with his biggest fear a little better.

He realises that he doesn’t deserve such a good sister as you.

His sudden resolve and earnest eyes make you bite your lips in worry. You know it won’t be good when he suddenly turns around with fiery passion. “I, Kim Seokjin give my oath to Kim Y/N that I will protect you for as long as I live. If I break my promise, I’m willing to die a miserable death.” This is your first time seeing someone give their knight’s oath. His hands are elegantly placed over his heart in a kneeling position and his eyes are fierce and honest. Stupid brother, you’re not the one he should give his oath to!

That was not your intention to make him so motivated. You should really learn how to ignore things in the future if you want to avoid bothersome situations like this. It’s not like you can reject him now either.

After he finally left because of work called you collapsed on your bed.

You can’t believe he gives you the knight’s oath instead of the female lead. He’s supposed to fall in love with her and be the miserable second male lead. You expect that things will be different if you change your destiny, but such drastic changes make you anxious for the future development of the plot.

Thankfully your favourite character was not caught up in the love triangle since his territory is the farthest away from the capital. He doesn’t frequent gatherings because of his inability to fully control his powers, and he has a bad reputation overall because of his war achievements and fearful power. Throughout the novel, he is described as someone who doesn’t care about women and is only fixed to find a way to control his abilities.

Min Yoongi you can’t wait to see him at the upcoming hunting festival.

Everything becomes normal and quiet.

Your daily life is better except for the torturous dinners with your family. Thankfully Jin is busy with imperial work and your father manages his new business and duties as a duke, so you don’t have to run into them too much inside the house.

In two or three days you make a trip to see Jungkook and get useful information and sometimes chat over some tea.

What’s next on your list is to gather personal intel on people who will attend the hunting festival. The fact that this is organised by the Duke of Summer is making you anxious. You remember some crazy shit happen around that time and his main target will be your favourite character. Min Yoongi.

Trying not to look too obsessed with a man you’ve never met before you decided to look over his information last.

There’s not much that could be gathered on him (even by a professional information broker as the North keeps their gates locked skin-tight) in the first place the info that your eyes skim through is less than you expected even with the additional stuff that you know because of the novel is limited mostly to his childhood and main events which is not much at all.

He wasn’t present in all the episodes but when he’s involved – well, things were never good.

You don’t know all the archduke’s special abilities which is a concern. You know Min Yoongi can read minds. The limitation to his power is that he has to touch the person to hear all the thoughts but with malicious intent, it doesn’t even need that.

It makes him the second most powerful ability user since he can detect lies and see one’s true self. Someone has to be well aware of his ability to hide something from him.

His special skill is to tell what the other person is thinking good or bad but that means that he could hardly hear his own thoughts. The world is never silent for his ears and that has its consequences. What little is known of them in the outside world is that all the Min descendants had gone mad at some point in their lives and chose to kill themselves when there was another person that could take over the Ducey or their son became of age if they were lucky to hold on until then. Min Yoongi’s tragic childhood is summarised in a few sad lines in the novel it was not overly detailed, but you remember feeling sad.

Whilst your survival is the priority you want to change Yoongi’s fate as well if it’s possible. Even if he’s not going to madly fall in love with you. You want him to have a happy life and not end as tragically as in the novel. You liked his character a lot. Even when he was faced with such hardships, he never gave up he would never succumb to the same fate as his father, and he held on until the last moment of his life.

You admired his determination to live.

You want to do the same with your second chance and hold on until the last moment trying to change your fate.

Who knows maybe you could overcome it together.

So many scenarios run through your head imagining how you will greet him when you finally meet him, what you will say to him. All of those restless nights couldn’t have been wrong when you’re finally faced with him. None of them could get you ready for that hard cold stare that he shows you.

You practically burst open the carriage door after the chaperone states that you’ve arrived.

Being in the same space as your brother and father acting all cute and considerate for almost four full hours made you want to let the ground swallow you whole and never want to see the sun again.

This is when you first make eye contact with him – or so you think. His eyes visibly slip over your face as if he’s not even seeing you just looking through you like you’re one tree of the dozens curving the landscape. It hurts your pride a lot to be invisible to your favourite character, but you gulp it down and hold your head high when you exit the carriage.

You knew it well that he was that type of person, but it didn’t mean it still did not hurt you to see it with your own eyes. There’s one thing to say he’s not interested in women but in reality, it felt like he’s not into humans – not just women. Hearing everyone’s thoughts might be a reason why he would be so over humans that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge them but damn.

Now that you see him and not just read about him you can tell two things already. One, he’s crazy handsome. The lines that describe how good-looking he is does not give him justice. Two, the lines in the novel are too tame to describe how much he loathes to see and interact with anyone. It’s almost comical how disgust is written all over his face when he has to shake hands with nobles or greet the young ladies.

That face still has many admirers even when his expression is a permanent frown all the time. Most likely to his greatest disapproval, he’s very popular with the ladies despite his bad reputation.

You can imagine how annoying it must be for him. Forgetting how you felt hurt before you even started to feel bad for him. His circumstances are unique and, in fact, no one knows what he has to deal with every single day. Even though you know you don’t really know what it feels like.

You’re contemplating how to approach him to not get immediately shut down or seem too suspicious when some of the ladies have you locked in a circle. Seeing their arrogant expressions, you could already tell what would happen when they finally opened their mouths.

“What a surprise to see you attend this year. Are you even allowed to be outside yet?”

You grit your teeth and smile at them.

It’s a waste to argue with them and you’re not here to let them bully you. You came here to see your favourite character and they are already dampening your mood.

“The ladies might need to check their eyesight soon. I arrived here with my brother and father so if you have complaints about me being here you could always go to them.” You speak with a permanent smile but there’s nothing friendly in your expression as you cross them leaving the circle of hyenas behind you.

They’re lesser nobles of course they wouldn’t dare complain to them. Your family is powerful after all one of the four most powerful people in the kingdom is your father. They targeted you specifically because you were an easy target so far too dumb to attack them with words like they do, and Y/N's violent temper just served the right purpose to belittle her and make her the most hated woman in high society. You’re not going to give them the chance to humiliate you anymore. They are just extras in a novel.

The thought alone makes you smile. Right. You’re the main villain in this novel but you’re going to turn it into your story so that you can be the main character in your life.

Something that you always wanted to try.

The first day goes by without incident. After the second day of the hunting festival starts the hunting begins and activities for both the ladies and men begin slowly but surely following the original plot of the novel.

Until there’s a big error occurring in the middle. You don’t remember any banquet happening to welcome the most influential families. This could mean that it wasn’t relevant to the main plot to mention, or things changed somehow and now there’s a sudden dinner plan made by someone.

There’s a banquet held for the four archdukes and their families and while you’re thrilled that you’re seated right across from your favourite character you were not expecting him to death glare you right in front of your salad.   

To your best knowledge you haven’t even greeted him yet so why does he look like he wants to murder your entire family? You’re unsure.

At some point, you stop avoiding him and look him in the eye but still, you can’t read his expression at all.  

You feel like you don’t have to emphasise that you couldn’t eat a single thing at that dinner in peace.

You jump when a man approaches you in the empty hallway and when you look at him something clicks in your mind, now that you think about it you can recognise this man from anywhere. He’s Namjoon his right-hand man the only person that he tolerates.

“You scared the living shit out of me.” You’re so surprised that you don’t check your language before it’s already out in the open. Your eyes are wide as you look at the man probably thinking that you’re a weird person. Shit. Now you’ve done it. You tried so hard until now to remain in character and not use slang words or bad language.

Which is hard on their own as you breathe and live with words that end in fuck most likely than not.

The struggles of a modern woman. Haah.

“I mean you should not hide in the shadows like an assassin ready to strike Mr. You scared me.” You try to put the blame on him entirely so he would forget your previous words and it seems to work as he’s quick to apologise and state his business.

“Duke Min would like to speak with you. If you could please follow me, I will lead you to him.” You narrow your eyes after Namjoon finishes his sentence. Him wanting to see you is very weird.

Why?

“Does this have to do with him glaring at me throughout dinner?” You take a step back narrowing your eyes suspiciously at the man. Even though he’s just the messenger you can’t help but ask. You and him being alone after you witnessed his personality might not be the best idea even if he’s still your favourite character. You don’t want to die by his hands either.

“He.. the duke has a difficult personality but he’s not a bad person. I’m sure he’s just interested in the lady.” You can tell that Namjoon really believes that but for some reason you can’t picture him being interested in you. Y/N might be pretty but the duke is not that kind of person to be captivated by something so shallow as that. That has to be a different reason why he wants to talk with you in private and while you’re anxious.

You decide its best to see what he wants.

Also, he’s not someone that anyone can just say no to. He will most likely force you to meet him. It might be your best option to get this over with and see where this conversation goes. If it even goes anywhere. He’s a practical person like that.

You’re anxious and excited at the same time as you follow Namjoon just a step behind.

“Who are you?” You’re perplexed to meet with this type of question. He cornered you without warning, both his hands were caging your hip, your backside digging into the edge of the table.

You’re scared and strangely excited to be this close. Your heart is beating heavily trying to break out from your ribcage.

“Kim Y/N.” You reply dumbly while still trying to process this sudden change in his behaviour and his closeness to you.

You were greeting him first and suddenly you’re completely caged in.

“Kim? Is Duke Kim your father?” You would find his furrowing brows adorable if you weren’t so close to witnessing it. His scent is overpowering your senses, and your faces are just a hair's breadth away from touching – your favourite character makes it hard for you to think straight. Air is caught in your lungs when he holds you by your chin tilting your head up to meet with his eyes.

“Y-Yes.” You’re unsure what he wants to hear from you. From the moment you stepped into his office, he kept questioning you without answering any of yours in return.

“Am I interrupting something?” Both of your gazes turn to face a surprised Kim Namjoon standing by the door. He looks exactly like he just got here and witnessed something weird happening. You can’t blame him for it, you’re surprised as well. Min Yoongi keeps acting weird. He looks somewhat bewitched as he keeps looking between you and Namjoon almost bordering to look crazy in your eyes for a moment.

As if he’s in a deep thought about something mind breaking discovery.

Yoongi didn’t hear his right hand man coming at all but what’s even weirder than that is he can’t hear his thoughts at all.

It all started when he tried to read this woman’s mind throughout the dinner celebration but failed while everyone’s else mind spoke to him clearly. He found it strange for her to be the only exception. As if she has a shield around her mind that doesn’t allow his power to penetrate. The Kim family’s power is to neutralize other powers (everyone is aware of it as the family never tried to hide it) but that can’t be the answer since he could hear their thoughts all the same as you have to be aware of the power you’re trying to block but no one knows that he can read minds.

But now upon making contact with her, he can’t even hear what others are thinking. Which could mean her power is even more rare compared to her family. Everything is quite like it was never before. It’s unsettling but on the other hand, it’s quiet and peaceful.

A realisation draws on him that Kim Y/N might be the key to finally learning to control this power of his that has been plaguing his generation of heirs and forcing them to live a miserable life until they either take their lives or become insane. Her power acts like a tranquillizer almost. Tasting this peaceful silence Yoongi’s hand curves around her waist more protectively. Protective of this silence he’s experiencing for the first time in his life.

He will do anything to keep this woman by his side from now on. He comes to a firm resolution on the spot.

“Be my wife.” To say you feel shocked after hearing that would be an understatement. This is not your usual love confession, and you know it. There’s nothing tender in his words or expression if anything it feels like a business transaction to you.

It’s clear he’s proposing an arranged marriage kind of deal where you both get something out of it but you’re not fond of the idea. In your previous life, you never had a real boyfriend whilst you dated here and there. Someone you could say is the love of your life you never once experienced that feeling, and you don’t want a marriage in your second life without love. You decided to do anything you wanted from now on.

“I’m sorry but I have to refuse your proposal. I won’t marry a man I know is not in love with me and I don’t love him either. This is not something I want.” Too shocked to reply you use that time to get out of his hold and get away before he regains his senses after getting rejected. He probably didn’t think anyone would dare to say no to him as he was aware to be popular with the ladies. This just makes you even more unique as it was anyone else, they would have said yes immediately to an offer like that. Namjoon gets out of your way as you leave, his mouth hanging open still trying to process that the man who notoriously hates women suddenly asked for a lady’s hand in marriage and getting brutally rejected by one at the same time.

The door shuts behind you abruptly and Yoongi massages his temple with his hands trying to figure out what he did wrong for you to storm out like that. Was his proposal not to your liking? What does it even mean to marry the person you love is beyond his comprehension.

[kckt88]

Don't Mess with My Mind.

Summary:

When you first got into a relationship with Aegon, it was everything you’d ever dreamed of. But when you catch him in bed with your best friend, it’s his younger brother Aemond who comforts you, at first you think you can go back to normal, but no matter how hard you try you cannot forget how Aemond made you feel that night and soon the two of you embark upon a passionate all-consuming affair that ultimately leads to life changing consequences.

Warning(s): Angst, Hurt, Comfort, Alcohol Consumption, Cheating, Kissing, Smut – Fingering, Oral Sex (M & F Receiving), Unprotected P in V Sex.

Word Count: 3670.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!

MODERN AU - AEMOND x Y/N - AEGON x Y/N

Inspired by the song: EMO - Don't Mess With My Mind.

Tag List: @immyowndefender, @zenka69, @iloveallmyboys, @summerposie, @namelesslosers, @dixie-elocin,

The door slammed behind Y/N as she ran out of the building, the tears streaming down her face.

How could Aegon betray her like this? She thought he loved her. He’d told her enough times.

Y/N came to a stop near the car park and sagged against the stone wall, the sounds of Aegon fucking her best friend still ringing in her ears.

That absolute piece of shit, he’d even text her earlier in the day inviting her over to spend the night only for him to get caught with his pants down, literally.

Everyone warned her that Aegon was no good, but she wouldn’t listen, she foolishly believed that she would be the one who could tame him, oh how wrong she was.

The guy was a massive prick, Sara was welcome to him.

Let her be the one to put up with his drinking habits, the temper tantrums, and his disgustingly long toenails.

The only good thing about him was his nice-ish cock, no surprises there as he obviously got plenty of practice, Y/N wondered if Sara was the only one or were there others that he was also seeing, gods it made her feel sick.

Suddenly the glare of approaching headlights made Y/N wince as she raised a hand to shield her face.

Y/N looked up and saw Aemond getting out of his car with a tall dark-haired woman.

The woman began giggling as Aemond bent down and whispered in her ear, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they began walking towards the entrance to the block of flats.

“Hey Y/N-what are you doing out here by yourself?” asked Aemond as he noticed her shaking form huddled against the wall.

“I-I just came to see A-Aegon and I caught him in bed with Sara” replied Y/N.

“Isn’t she supposed to be your best friend?” mused Aemond as he removed his arm from the dark-haired woman who Y/N remembered was called Alys.

“Not anymore” quipped Y/N.

“Aemy, can’t we go inside it’s getting cold” whined Alys, looking bored as she examined her red painted nails.

“In a minute” replied Aemond.

Alys narrowed her green eyes at Y/N and gently took hold of Aemond’s arm, only to be immediately shrugged off.

“Aemond-“ muttered Alys through gritted teeth.

“I think it’s for the best that you leave” urged Aemond, never taking his eye off Y/N as he opened his wallet and pressed some money into Alys’ palm.

“What?” gasped Alys as she closed her fingers around the notes Aemond had given her.

“Money for a taxi-I’ll call you tomorrow” urged Aemond waving his hand at Alys dismissively.

“Aemy baby-I thought we was-“ said Alys her voice low and saccharine.

“I said fuck off Alys” snapped Aemond.

“Fine. Your loss” retorted Alys as she spun on her high heels and stormed off.

Aemond watched with mild disinterest as Alys disappeared round the corner.

“You didn’t need to send her away” muttered Y/N.

“If I’m honest you did me a favour, I shouldn’t have brought her here the first place, as always she treats me like shit, then begs me to forgive her-“

“-So why did you-you know bring her here?” asked Y/N.

“Truthfully-I wanted sex, and it’s much easier than going to some dingy shit hole and putting in the effort to chat up some random that I can’t stand beyond my need to come”.

“Makes sense I suppose” muttered Y/N.

“Now tell me everything” urged Aemond as he took out a cigarette and quickly lit it.

Aemond smoked as he listened to Y/N, and as she spoke, he couldn’t help but notice how sweet she looked, her cheeks tinged pink and her plump juicy lips that would look great around his-

“-And that’s when I found them in bed together” muttered Y/N.

Aemond reached forward and gently brushed the stray tear from her cheek with his thumb.

“If you really want to get back at Aegon, play him at his own game” whispered Aemond as he discarded his cigarette, crushing the dock end under his boot.

“H-How?” asked Y/N wiping her nose on her sleeve.

“Fuck someone else, I mean do you really wanna be out here crying over his pathetic arse or do you want to show him that you don’t give a shit?” said Aemond.

“I guess-but I haven’t got that many friends, so I don’t know who would-” sniffed Y/N.

An opportunity to get one over on his cunt of a brother had never so gloriously presented itself before, and of course he was going to seize his chance, she was ripe for the picking, and he was going to devour her.

“-I’m more than willing to help you-if you ask nicely” muttered Aemond as he leaned forward and braced both hands on the wall beside her head.

His warm breath tickled her skin as he slowly ran his aquiline nose slowly up her cheek.

Y/N closed her eyes sighed, despite being with Aegon she had always found Aemond rather attractive, and despite her initial reservations surrounding his offer, she realised she would be a fool to pass up such an opportunity.

If Aegon could fuck her so called best friend, then she would fuck his brother.

“P-please” whispered Y/N as she felt Aemond’s teeth nipping at her ear lobe.

“Oh, sweet girl-I know you can do better than that” whispered Aemond as reached down and slid his fingers past the waistband of her leggings.

“A-Aemond, please-I-I need you” moaned Y/N when she felt Aemond’s long fingers teasing her folds.

“Oh baby, I’m going to fuck you so hard that you’ll forget my brother’s name”.

Aemond pressed a finger to hips lips as he led Y/N through the flat he shared with Aegon, all the lights were off and everything was silent, no doubt his twat of a brother had fallen asleep.

Y/N eyed Aegon’s bedroom door nervously but she followed Aemond into his room, noticing how clean and organized it was compared to his brothers who in all honesty was a bit of a slob.

Aemond quietly shut the door, the lock sliding into place with a soft click.

“Last chance to back out baby” whispered Aemond as he crowded Y/N against his bedroom door.

Y/N shook her head as she pressed forward and claimed his lips with her own.

The kiss was filthy, it was depraved-gods it was fucking amazing. Aemond couldn’t help the small groan that escaped his tips as Y/N’s tongue slid against his.

Aemond slowly moved his hands down Y/N’s body before roughly grasping her ass and hauling her up against the door.

Y/N whimpers, gripping at Aemond’s shoulders as he slots himself between her legs, his tongue still invading her mouth.

Aemond presses himself against the apex of Y/N’s thighs, and he growls like an animal when she reaches down and palms his hard cock over his jeans.

“Fuck-“ groans Aemond as he begins grinding his clothed cock against her.

“Someone’s eager” whispered Y/N as she flicked her tongue against the corner of Aemond’s mouth.

“Oh, sweet girl you have no idea” quipped Aemond as she spun her off the door and carried her to his bed.

Soon their clothes are abandoned in a haphazard heap on the floor and Aemond was laid between Y/N open legs moving his fingers through her dripping folds as he expertly devoured her with his mouth, his nose bumping against her pearl as fucked her with his tongue.

Gods, she tasted delicious.

Aemond loved performing oral sex on women, something his past partners never complained about, but nothing compared to Y/N’s she was delicious in a way he’d never tasted before.

“Fuck,” squeaks Y/N as she grasps at the back of Aemond’s head, her fingers digging into his hair, holding him in place.

“You’re quite sensitive. Are you going to come already?” asked Aemond smugly.

Aemond alternates between using his fingers and tongue to bring Y/N to her peak.

Y/N arches her back as she comes, Aemond gently sucks on her pearl as she rides out the euphoria of her peak.

“Is that you done baby, or do you want more?” asked Aemond playfully, his chin shining with her slick.

“M-More, please” gasps Y/N as Aemond reaches forward and presses a singular kiss to her pearl before he quickly wipes his chin with his hand.

Aemond smirks as he removes his boxers, his hard cock slapping up against his abdomen,

Y/N looks at Aemond and her eyes widen, he was bigger than Aegon significantly so, his cock hard and heavy, the tip glistening with pre-cum.

“Don’t worry little mouse-it will fit” whispered Aemond as he presses his lips against Y/N’s in a heated kiss.

Aemond takes himself in his hand and guides his hard cock to Y/N entrance, pushing in slowly and pausing to give her a moment to adapt to his size.

After pressing a gentle kiss to Y/N’s lips, Aemond pulls out slowly and slides back in, his pace gentle and steady.

“I thought you said you were going to fuck me hard?” questioned Y/N.

Aemond lets out a pleased grunt and slams into Y/N hard, smiling as she let’s out a yelp of surprise.

The pace he sets is brutal, his hips slapping against hers.

Y/N moans desperately, as she moves her hips to meet his, attempting to allow his cock to reach deeper within her.

Aemond gets the hint, and quickly lifts Y/N’s legs over his shoulders, using the new angle to drive his cock even deeper than before.

“Tell me how it feels, Am I better than my brother” demands Aemond.

“It’s good, so good-yes-yes your so much better than him,”

Y/N praises sets something off inside Aemond as he continues to pound into her, the headboard banging against the wall from the force of his movements.

“Aemond, please, I’m close” whimpers Y/N.

Aemond moves a hand down to where the two of them are joined, and rubs Y/N’s pearl in quick circles, dragging her closer the edge of the precipice.

“I never want to leave this sweet pussy–fuck,” groans Aemond as he marks each of his words in tandem with a rough snap of his hips.

Y/N come with a loud, scream, her body shaking underneath Aemond’s as his thrusts grow sloppy.

“J-Just a little longer-fuck” groans Aemond as he slams into Y/N three more times before reaching his own peak, spilling rope after rope of seed inside her.

After a few moments, Aemond gently moves Y/N’s legs from his shoulders, his chest heaving with every breath he takes.

“I-I wasn’t too rough, was I?” asked Aemond.

“No. I-It was wonderful” exclaimed Y/N, her body shaking slightly.

Aemond smirks as he slowly removes his softened cock from her slick cunt, his singular eye fixated on the drops of seed that spill out.

He takes a finger to Y/N’s opening and pushes his seed back inside, delighting in her moan of surprise. He leans over to press a gentle kiss to her lips, before bringing his finger to his own mouth and sucking it clean.

Aemond laid down on the bed and pulled Y/N to him.

“Not tired, are you?” asked Aemond curiously as Y/N laid her head on his chest and began running her fingers through the sparse hair that graced his chest.

Y/N looked at him and smiled as she shook her head.

“Good, because I plan to fuck you so many times tonight that you cannot walk tomorrow”.

 “Promises, promises” replied Y/N as she ran her tongue over his nipple.

 Y/N started at her phone, another text from Aegon begging her to call him.

He seemed oblivious to the fact that she’d seen him in bed with Sara, initially she did think to give him a piece of her mind but then she decided it was for the best that she ignored him, she really couldn’t deal with any of his excuses at the moment.

Not when she’d spent the entire night getting fucked to within an inch her life by Aemond.

Never had she had so many orgasms in one night, the man was an absolute menace.

Aegon had never made her feel this way, he was a rather selfish lover in that respect, but Aemond, he was something else entirely.

He devoted himself into worshipping every inch of her body and boy was she feeling it today.

Every single muscle ached from being contorted into a number of different positions, Aemond had incredible stamina, the way he held her in his arms as he fucked her against the wall or the way he held her hips as she rode him, his cock reaching places that she never knew existed.

Her phone buzzed again and just as she was about to tell Aegon to go fuck himself, she noticed that it was Aemond who had text her.

Gods, Aemond was on his way over, it had barely been twenty-four hours and he was already desperate for her.

But in truth she was just as desperate, she craved him on a whole other level and her heart fluttered at the thought of seeing him again.

Soon she heard a knock her door and she took a brief pause before she answered it.

She smiled as she saw Aemond leaning against the wall, dressed head to toe in black, a half-finished cigarette hanging from his delectable mouth.

“Come in” said Y/N as she opened the door wider.

“Don’t worry little mouse, I intend to” replied Aemond as he stubbed his cigarette out and entered her flat.

This was how it was between them, over the next few weeks.

Aemond would come to her flat and fuck her on every available surface, she lived alone so they were free to explore one another for as long as they desired.

Sometimes Aemond would sneak her into his room at the flat he shared with Aegon and have her in every way imaginable.

Once he had her pressed against his door with his cock deep inside her as his brother was on the other side complaining that he was making too much noise.

Y/N knew she should put Aegon out of his misery and end their relationship, but the things she would do with Aemond were beyond anything she’d ever experienced with his brother, it made her feel wanted.

It was passionate and all consuming, Aemond was like her own personal drug, she was addicted to him, and she had no remorse about indulging in her habit.

Aemond had invaded every single part of her mind, body and soul.

Even when she was at work, she would find herself reminiscing over their time together, how he sounded when she sunk to her knees and took his cock in her mouth or the way his muscles would tense as he thrust inside her.

She also loved his dominate streak, he would tie her up and blindfold her, as he devoured her cunt, or he would spank her as he fucked her from behind.

Later that day Aemond had picked her up from work and took her back to his flat, after he’d stripped her of her clothes he’d slid down her body, spreading her thighs further apart, so he could get a good look at his sought-after prize.

“Such a pretty cock sleeve" breathed Aemond as he ran the flat of his tongue up Y/N’s soaked slit, from bottom to the top, tasting her.

“Oh, my god” moaned Y/N her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

“That’s it. Let me hear you”.

“YES! It feels so good. Don’t stop. Aemond. Please”

"Delicious" purred Aemond as he began lapping at Y.N, running his tongue along every fold.

"More" panted Y/N

Aemond inserted two fingers, sliding them in and out of her slick wet folds.

“Oh, fuck"

Y/N was giving off a slew of loud swear words, moans, and pleas, that surely Aegon would hear.

 Aemond’s fingers were soaking wet as they continued to pump in and out of her tight heat.

“I can’t wait to get my cock inside you. I don’t want to wait any longer, come for me” moaned Aemond.

Gods he was so hard, it was almost painful.

Finally, he felt Y/N’s inner walls start to flutter around his fingers, squeezing them. Her back arched taut as a bow, and she screamed her release.

Aemond pumped slowly and lapped at her whilst she came. Soon her tense body went slack and pliant.

“I need you NOW!!”

Aemond couldn't wait any longer. He surged up and ploughed his hard cock into Y/N’s soaked cunt.

"AEMOND!" shouted Y/N, her eyes popping open from her post-orgasm haze.

"You feel so good" rasped Aemond.

"Fuck me, Aemond" urged Y/N, her tone bordering on desperate as she thrust her hips upward towards his.

Aemond chuckled and bit down lightly on a nipple, making Y/N moan and squirm.

He started to thrust slowly, trying to prolong the feel of his her squeezing his cock.

"Faster, Aemond" begged Y/N.

"Patience" chided Aemond as he ran his nose up her neck.

“Yes, Aemond, just like that-" panted Y/N.

Her hands ran over his arms, over his shoulders, and down his back. Her nimble fingers mapped his back muscles and then went down to his arse and gripped him - pressing him into her harder.

“Gods" grunted Aemond, speeding up slightly.

"Fuck me, Aemond" whispered Y/N "Fuck me with that big, cock of yours. You feel so good inside me, filling me up. Give me what I need. Make me scream, make me come”.

Aemond knew exactly what Y/N was doing, and he couldn’t help himself.

Y/N wanted faster, and he was going much faster now; so much for having the control in the situation. His pace had increased with every filthy word that dropped from Y/N’s luscious lips.

Now he was quickly thrusting in and out, shaking the bed, the headboard banging loudly against the wall.

Y/N was meeting him thrust for thrust.

“Aemond! I’m going to come. Oh, fuck!” screamed Y/N; not caring if Aegon would hear them.

Y/N always looked amazing when she came. Her head thrown back in pleasure, her eyes alive with lust, and her skin shining with sweat.

“Fuck” groaned Aemond as he exploded. His cock throbbing and twitching as he spilled his seed inside Y/N’s wet heat.

It took a good while for Aemond to regain his senses.

Y/N was laid underneath him completely blissed out; their sweaty bodies pressed together.

“Mine” whispered Aemond in his post orgasm haze.

Y/N hummed as Aemond pulled his softened cock from her and flopped down onto the bed beside her.

Aemond placed his hand on her stomach and sighed contentedly as his fingers drew patterns on her skin.

Y/N closed her eyes and pressed her face into the soft sheets, laying with Aemond after sex was always nice, he would often pull her body to his and bury his nose in her hair, or he would haul her over his body, so she was practically laid on top of him.

Aemond seemed to like he closeness and if Y/N was honest she didn’t mind it either, Aegon was never much of a cuddler after sex, he just kind of rolled off her and went to sleep.

As her eyes began to drop, Y/N realised that she needed to officially end her relationship with Aegon, he still kept trying to call and text her, even Sara had tried the cheeky bitch. However, it still baffled Y/N that Aegon would even think that they were still together, especially after she’d been ghosting him for the last few weeks.

Y/N did wonder what Aegon’s reaction would be when he found out that she had been having sex with his brother, but it wasn’t like he could take the moral high ground given what he’d done with Sara.

No doubt he’d throw a hissy fit and try to play the victim like he did in most of the situations he found himself in, but things needed to change, and they never would unless it was her taking the steps to make those changes.

Where Aemond factored into that, Y/N didn’t know as they hadn’t really talked of exploring anything beyond their sexual involvement, it was only when she thought about it that Y/N realised that she wanted more, but she was too anxious to say anything to Aemond just in case he didn’t feel the same way.

But as the saying goes when one thing goes right in your life, another thing will go spectacularly wrong.

A few days later whilst she was at work Y/N was staring at her phone, she’d just got a calendar notification and was horrified to see that her period was long overdue. So, on her lunch break she rushed to the chemist to buy a pregnancy test.

As she returned to work, she hid the box inside her jacket, not wanting anyone to see it.

She bypassed her boss when she returned and sat in the toilets reading the instructions and making sure she peed on the stick properly.

Suddenly a soft knock at the door, distracted her attention from what she was doing.

“Just a second” said Y/N loudly as she held her hand between her legs.

“Boss wants you to stack the new delivery”.

“I said just a second, I’m trying to fucking pee” snapped Y/N.

“Ok but hurry up, you know what he gets like”.

“Fucking pain in the arse” muttered Y/N.

All she wanted was five fucking minutes, sure she should have waited until she got back to her flat to do this, but she couldn’t. She needed to know. Now.

“Fuck-fuck-fuck-please” muttered Y/N as she glanced at the ceiling of her bathroom.

Her hands shook as she tightly gripped the pregnancy test. After taking a deep shuddering breath she turned it over.

“Shit” exclaimed Y/N the tears welling in her eyes.

She was pregnant, with Aemond’s baby.

[ishipallthings]

Cap Iron Man Rec Week 2024 (Fri)

Family Fluff Friday - July 26th for @cap-ironman Rec Week

Family fluff - both canon and AU fics, all the fluff!

Remember to show some love for your hard-working creators!

Deep in the Heart of Me by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar) (AU)

There were days when the realization that he was someone’s father made Steve’s head hurt, but mostly he was grateful that he could trust his instincts, because apparently Peter was what had been missing from his life. Yes, he still had lingering, unresolved issues from his time in the Army, and sure, he had what Bucky annoyingly referred to as a criminally untapped ass, and no life outside of work and Peter, but Steve was okay with how his life had turned out because of trusting his instincts. Unfortunately, those same instincts had straight up betrayed him by going absolutely haywire upon being exposed to Tony Stark.

ten years too late (just in time) by Anonymous (AU)

 Steve never went out with Tony when they were young despite Tony’s attempts at wooing him, mostly because he thought Tony was too much of a flimsy playboy who could never really commit seriously to anything that wasn’t partying. Years later he runs into Single Father Tony taking care of his 3 year old. Tony refuses to buy his kid candy before dinner and is overall a pretty decent dad. Tony also thinks Steve could never be interested in him, since he was always rebuffed before, but Tony’s in for a surprise.

Tony, Please by FestiveFerret @festiveferret (AU)

Steve is doing just fine nursing a painful crush on his most captivating client. That is, until his babysitter has an emergency and drops Steve's six-year-old daughter off at his work. Somehow, everything goes off the rails.

Send Me A Hero by suitofhumour @suitofhumour (AU)

Tony needed a bodyguard for his kids and Steve Rogers was the most recommended pick available. Even as Tony tries to be wary of him, the guy manages to worm his way into Tony's life and soon his heart. But Steve has a secret that might be something that even Tony with his Iron Man suit cannot handle easily.

The one where… Tony meets Mr. Rogers by shieldmaidenofrohan  (AU)

“Are you ready?”

In the midst of a heavy rain by BladeoftheNebula @bladeofthenebula27 (AU)

“Do you know where Mr Rogers is?” Peter hummed. “He took his refreshment with him. He said he was going for a walk and would return for our next lesson.”

the porcupine and the armadillo by meidui @meidui (MCU, post-EG, series link)

‘I would not hurt them,’ the Porcupine thought to himself. ‘They did not give me a chance to show them that my belly is soft and has no quills. They also did not care that my quills are not there to hurt them. They are there to protect me and I would not survive without them.’

Treading Desire Lines by fohatic @fohatic (MCU, post-EG)

Tony knows that his daughter can be difficult, but he really needs someone to do him a solid when an important opportunity arises. Unfortunately, word is already out: Morgan Stark is a real handful. Never one to shrink from a challenge, Steve steps in, hoping to shift the strained dynamic between him and Tony and having no idea how the course of his life is about to change.

you’ve got to close your eyes and see by Thahire @thahiree (MCU, post-EG)

Morgan manages to bring Tony back eleven years after Thanos’ defeat, long after everyone’s learned to live without him. Everyone’s overjoyed once they get over their shock, but Tony finds it hard to adjust, now that Pepper’s moved on and Morgan’s not a little kid anymore. Somehow, the one constant is Steve.

Hope you guys enjoy the recs, and stay tuned! Please mind the tags before reading. Check out my tag for previous years’ rec lists, and here is an older rec list I made for stevetony single parent AUs :)

[countrymusiclover]

3 - Day with Aemond

Part 4

A Wolf Among Dragons

Tag list ( just ask to be added ) @tallrock35 @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea @immyowndefender @iamavailablesstuff

“I am going to miss you, dear daughter.” My father said weakly laying in his bed in his chambers at the very end of his illness that had fallen to him.

He had declared that I would be wed off to the king's brother to further our alliance with the South since me and my brothers were taught to never forget the oaths we had sworn to one another. “I don’t want to leave you, father. Not if this may be the last time I see you.”

“Stark’s don’t forget their oaths, daughter. We must keep our word even if those in the South may not do the same.” He declares to me while holding onto my hand that was tightly squeezing his.

Sniffing through tears I didn’t want to leave for a city I had never been to. Winterfell was my home. I didn’t want to be trapped inside a castle for the rest of my life. “I’m well aware father but - what if they change who I am? What if I no longer act like a Stark?”

“Stark’s don’t go down without a fight. They won’t destroy who you were raised to be. You will always be a Stark of Winterfell just like our words will always reign true.” My father Rickon coughed into his sleeve keeping a brave face when he spoke so strongly to me.

I recited our family words like it was a prayer. “Winter is Coming.”

“And we must protect ourselves. You must protect yourself when in their family. I won’t be there to protect you anymore so you must find a way to protect yourself.”

“I love you, father.” Kissing my fathers forehead I heard the chamber door creaking open meaning it was time for me to go to my new home and be wed to a dragon man. I wouldn’t let Kings Landing break me if I had anything to do about it.

Sitting underneath one of the Godswood trees simply reading a book quietly to myself. Flipping the page over I didn’t even notice someone walking up to me so ingrained in mh reading till the person spoke up. “Fancy meeting you here, Lehna.”

“My prince - uh Aemond forgive me. I wouldn’t have imagined you ever taking a stroll in these woods.” I admitted clearing my throat remembering the arrangement we had made about simply addressing each other by their first name with no titles being used.

He teased me with a smirk on his face. “Are you saying a prince cannot have other interests? That we can only be interested in swords and our next fight rather than enjoying a stroll through the trees.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you, my prince. In my experience most men, including my lord husband, don't care much for the scenery.”

Aemond nodded, putting his arms behind his back. “Normally I don’t stroll through the gardens but I thought it would be a good change after sparring in the courtyard. From our conversation the other day with your daughter I have already noted that not too many ladies of the court carry a sword so it seems we’re both even when it comes to not following society's rules.”

Sending him a genuine smile I met his gaze. “I suppose you’re right about that.”

“What are you reading there?” His one good eye not covered with a black eye patch shifting downward to the open book seated in my lap.

“Princess Nymeria led her Rhoynar across the Narrow Sea on 10,000 ships to flee their Valyrian pursuers. She took Lord Mors Martell of Dorne to husband and burnt her own fleet off Sunspear to show her people that they were finished running.”

It was almost hard to catch whenever the prince was actually happy. He was always so reserved and kept a serious composure about himself to act like he felt absolutely nothing. Until this very moment that is when I saw a huge grin cross his features. “The Targaryen histories. What made you want to learn about my family history?”

“You wanted to know about my family. I figured I should do the same since I'm already wed into the Targaryen family. I even thought about trying to teach myself High Valyrian given the fact that Daemon hasn't yet.”

The dragon prince tilted his head. “What has he taught you then?”

“Perfected my ability to use a sword and not ride a horse side saddle like we're taught.” An idea popped inside my head thinking it would be fun to challenge him a little. “Have you ever rode a horse side saddle?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“Would you do it if I dared you?”

He was clearly taken back by my question. “What are you asking me, Lady Lehna?”

“I propose we dare one another and whoever wins the most turns gets to pick what the loser has to do with them. What do you say?” I held up my right hand towards the prince.

He stepped closer, shaking my hand in his firmly. “Deal, lady Stark.”

We left the gardens and made our way through the keep until we ended up first in the kitchen. One of the kitchen workers brought us some hard ale in two big goblets before leaving me and the prince alone. Aemond reached for his cup being the first one to suggest a dare challenge. “Whoever can finish the whole thing wins.”

“Three, two, one, go!” I cheered and together we began quickly drinking from our separate cups at the same time. Daemon had me drink some ale in the city streets but never this quickly so I had to stop having a little bit left before I watched Aemond slam his remaining liquor down. “Seven hells! How can you do that so fast?”

He sat the cup down holding a hand to his head feeling a little dizzy from that much liquor. “Aegon had me get drunk with him when we became of age. I managed to do that for two rounds before it made me quite sick. I’ll never do something that ridiculous ever again - oh and it appears I’ve won.”

“Fine, fine, yes you win. Now it’s my turn.” Getting up from the chair I ran from the kitchen and he followed me to my chambers. Letting him inside my chambers where I shut the door and headed over rummaging around in my clothing closet grabbing a pair of heels that I assume might fit. “Put these on and try to walk from the door to the window.”

Aemond scowled back at me, eyeing the heels hanging from my hand. “I will not put those ridiculous shoes on.”

“Would you rather attempt to do needle work and prick your fingers a bunch of times?” I challenged him. “Or are you a chicken refusing to do either.”

Aemond glared at me with one good eye. “Watch your words.”

“You weren't hurt me, not intentionally anyway.” I responded surprisingly not afraid of him putting his hands on me. “There’s a good person in you from where I'm standing.”

He crossed the room taking the heels from my hand and undoing his boots slipping them on. He stumbled across the room and fell on his knees hallway in the middle where he gave up causing me to laugh before he glanced over his shoulder at me. “You win, Stark. But don't you ever tell anyone about this.” I helped him up off the ground and he switched back to his shoes waiting outside the room for me to change into a tunic and trousers rather than attempting to fight in a gown.

We had one more challenge given that it was whoever won out of the three. Aemond and I had agreed on the last one being sword fighting given that me speaking good High Valyrian would take far too long and he’d obviously win. He drew his sword first before I drew mine and we got into a fighting stance. We took some swings that caused our swords smack against each other before gently shoves me backwards in the training yard. "What would the people of court think about this? A highborn lady fighting their prince?" I grunt, taking another swing at him.

He swung back circling me to make our sword press against one another for a moment. "I don't care what the court public think and neither should you." He steps back a little sword still raised as I get back in a fighting stance.

I raise my sword trying to strike him but he lightly elbows me in my side to strike me from below. I switch my sword to my left hand for a moment to knock him away. "Your form is better than I thought it would be."

"Thanks -uh!" I grunted out, pressing my sword against his. He pressed his sword against mine, never losing gaze with mine.

He started to loosen his hold on his sword when we pushed the other back but suddenly he knocked my sword from my left hand, knowing we both are dominant in our right hands. I dodge his next attack to reveal a dagger from inside my boot and block his sword coming down on me.

"Impressive, very impressive indeed." He parts his lips when I push his sword down getting up from being on my knees.

“Thanks for the compliment. But you still are a better swordsman than I, so you win. Two for two. So what will we be doing?” I slipped the dagger hidden back into my hidden spot.

Aemond stepped closer to me with both our swords swaying when our bodies moved. His eye lowered down to meet my soft eyes as he softly whispered. “Have you ever rode on Dragonback?’

“No, I haven’t.” I nervously gulped not sure if he was being serious or not.

Aemond simply replies. “Then that's what I want to do with you. I want you to ride Veghar with me.”

[euphoricvampirism]

BLOG INTRO

[BASIC INFO]

name > jay pronouns > they/she biracial ; queer ; taken by my beautiful, sweet girlfriend ; neurodivergent

[INTERESTS]

biggest hyperfixation at the moment > mouthwashing

RED > not active in/apart of fandom

shows, movies, games > x-men, voltron legendary defender, the last of us, aphverse, the owl house, daisy jones and the six, lego monkie kid, the hunger games, the book of life, sally face, minecraft, the folk of the air, stardew valley, genshin impact, spiderverse/spiderman, monster high, my hero academia, demon slayer, the case study of vanitas + more i cannot remember

music > fleetwood mac, stevie nicks, paris paloma, ethel cain, artic monkeys, nirvana, chase atlantic, hoizer, rihanna, beyonce, the neighborhood, t-pain, mitski, glass animals, chappell roan, the weeknd, panic at the disco (do not support urie), taylor swift (not often anymore), epic: the musical, hamilton, heathers, ride the cyclone, i listen to practically anything

activities > writing, drawing, reading, playing video games, spending time with friends/my girlfriend, sleeping, making ocs, watching youtube

[DNI / BOUNDARIES]

DNI LIST > basic DNI (racist, anti-lgbtq+, terfs, pedophiles, etc.), proshipers/comshippers, zoophiles, people who IDENTIFY as animals (not furries u guys are cool), anti palestine/pro-israel, extreme gore/horror, people who hate on unproblematic ships/ocs for no reason, "cringe culture" believers, rude people: if you don't have something nice to say, just don't say it

BOUNDARIES > do not flirt with me, even jokingly | messages/asks are okay! just be kind and use tone tags if possible (emphasis on sarcasm) | do not ask for personal information (personal social media, where i live, stuff like that) | do not trauma dump to me | simply stop doing something if i tell you it is making me uncomfortable

if you are on the DNI list and interact with my blog or if you break my boundaries repeatedly: you will be blocked, no exceptions

[LINKS]

[OTHER SOCIALS]

[MASTERLIST]

[WIPS]

[REQUESTS]

[valiantroeagleangel]

Nosferatu I.

Vampire Ruffilo x female reader

Nosferatu! Ruffilo, Nicholas is not necessarily very mentally stable, a bit obsessive too, and a perv, masturbation, voyeurism.

I PUT MY SOUL IN THAT THING. I'm pretty sure I'm about to pass out. Seriously it took me days to proofread it because I'm weak and lazy and I thought I could just write gothic stuff like it was the XIXth century as if I was a native English speaker. Spoiler alert: turns out I cannot.

Anyway, there will be a second part but that second part is long as fuck and I didn't want to put everything in there because I'm not writing 10k words long chapters. So I'll have you waiting for the rest of the story. But here, take my fucked up stuff. It sucks, it's short, but it's here.

Where Noah is a young and arrogant vampire, Nicholas is more mature and full of remorse (and a total psycho).

Mama’s tag list:  @philomenie @gipsonnikki @circle-with-me @somewhere-diamond @malice-ov-mercy  @smokeynaomi @darkhallcorner  @loeytuan98  @sthnog  @cookiesupplier  @cncohshit  @lma1986  @skulliecadaver-blog @talialovesmiw @to-be-written @4rtificialfolio @arkiliastuff

He used to be so gorgeous, him who used to profane the bed of many people of the fair sex. The type of man any woman's mind would go blank just by the sight of it. He used to be so gorgeous, tall, and talented. But now all that was left of him was a name.

Nosferatu. What a pathetic sobriquet.

What was the worth of his life now? What deserved a soul like his, doomed to damnation? Nothing. He deserved nothing, only the pity he could experience for himself. Those crooked fingers didn't merit to be seen, nor this monstrous face.

He used to be so gorgeous but now, now all he was reduced to was awful looks and a stupid nickname. He had lost all his greatness, all his presence for the sake of an immortality he no longer even wanted. He had dreamt of eternity, a forever life that would grant him power, money, love.

Love.

No love was left for him. No one stayed by his side after all these centuries. His body was perishing like a bird hiding to die. He was ageing in the worst kind of way. In an inhuman kind of way.

Sometimes he tried to remember what he used to look like but even then he couldn't see it anymore. All he could see in the mirror was the time that had passed and the lack of blood that destroyed him without ever letting him die. Sometimes he also told himself that he deserved it, that it was his sentence for being so greedy during his young years, thinking that he would pass eternity in the arms of simple women, women who would have been ready to give him their life. Oh, he could kill to live that again, he would die to live that again, just one last time. To feel the heat and the adoration from another someone.

And when he thought about that, he thought about her.

The first time he saw her, he wondered for a second if it was people like her who inhabited the Garden of Eden. People like her deserved to live in the heavens and were cursed to live in that hell of human life. He wondered that for a second, to not regret his appearance. To not regret the fact that he couldn't dare to approach her even if he wanted to. He would kill for her, die for her, even live for her. Live that miserable life if it meant spending eternity by her side.

Nicholas was consumed by her presence, his mind haunted by her image incessantly, day and night. Other women held no allure for him now; his thoughts were fixated solely on her. Yet, how could he dare approach her, she who was so pure, so holy, while he remained steeped in sin? She was beyond his reach, an angelic figure in a realm far removed from his own. Accustomed to the company of prostitutes, he could only hope that one day, amidst her divine radiance and devout Christian devotion, she might cast her eyes upon him.

As time passed, his longing intensified, driving him ever closer to her. The first time he spoke to her, she seemed unaffected by his gaze, as though she perceived him differently from others, as though she saw the man he was beneath his sinful exterior. If such were the case, he thanked the heavens for this unexpected mercy.

It seemed a miracle from above, an answer to his relentless prayers. How could it be possible? He feared her seeing him, hearing him, uncovering the darkness within his soul. But in her presence, surrounded by her saintly aura, perhaps he was not as rotten as he believed. Just as animals flee from their predators and dragonflies shun the shadows, he felt compelled to flee from her, lest his darkness tarnish her innocence.

"Pray for me, pray for the salvation of our souls, and I shall pray for you."

Perhaps he was not irredeemable, after all. Perhaps his perception of himself was skewed by his past sins, by the atrocities he had committed. He saw himself through his own tainted lens, blind to the possibility that she saw him differently, saw the goodness that still lingered within him.

In her presence, he began to see himself anew, to crave her with a fervour that surpassed all else. He longed for her touch, her gaze, her salvation. With any other, he would have succumbed to his basest instincts, sating his desires without remorse. But with her, he found himself captivated, entranced by her naïveté, her chastity.

She became his guiding light, his salvation in a world corrupted with darkness. Though their encounters remained chaste, devoid of lust or romance, he found himself drawn to her with an intensity that bordered on obsession. He cherished every moment spent in her presence, every fleeting glance, every whispered word.

However, she was too kind, too pure for him to pollute. He dared not cross the line, to stain her innocence with his immorality.

Until one fateful night, as he wandered through the rectory garden, drawn once more to her window. It was a simple gesture, a fleeting glance to ensure her safety, but it would change everything. As he peered into her room, illuminated by the soft glow of candlelight, he perceived her, naked.

In that moment, he realized that she was unlike any other, her beauty transcending the physical realm. He already knew she was so much more but his desire for her, once suppressed, now burned with an insatiable fire. He longed to feel her skin beneath his fingertips, to taste her essence upon his lips.

In the shadowed embrace of the night, she stood, an ethereal vision of delicate beauty, unaware of the storm brewing within the depths of Nicholas's soul. His vow echoed in the caverns of his mind like a cursed refrain, a promise forged in the crucible of his darkest desires. He had sworn that he would never defile her virtue with the stain of his lust. But, as she moved unknowingly, marked by purity, madness clawed at the fragile confines of his sanity.

Nicholas had known many a depravity in his timeless existence. Nicholas had sinned so much before. Sins that festered like an eyesore upon his immortal soul, but sins he bore with the weight of indifference. What use was there for remorse in the heart of one condemned to an eternity of solitude?

But now, as he stood in the cloak of night, his gaze fixed upon her, he felt a stirring of something long dormant within him. A flicker of care, of forbidden longing burning like a phantom flame. It was a torment he had not known before, a torment born of the realization that he cared, cared too much, and yet not enough to resist the call of his baser instincts.

In the hush of that nocturnal sanctuary, she moved to put her nightgown on, unaware of the predator lurking in the shadows. And as she dressed herself, Nicholas succumbed to the darkness of his fantasy.

With trembling hands, he unfastened is belt, allowing it to fall to the ground like a silent plea for absolution. A hand slipped beneath the fabric of his attire, a profane offering to the insatiable hunger gnawing at the last strands of his sanity. The moment hung suspended in time, a symphony of temptation and remorse warring for dominance within his fractured soul.

And then, as if in defiance of the heavens themselves, he bit down his lower lip, a desperate attempt to stifle the sinful moan of ecstasy threatening to spill forth from his lips.

With haste, his fingers passed through the band of his underwear as he only caressed his tip before stroking himself a little. There was nothing in the world that this Nicholas treasured more than sex, except for blood maybe. But god that woman was all he desired and the fact that she was far from his touch was killing him.

Yet, even if he tried to struggle against his sinful urges, groanings escaped him the moment he pressed his palm against his member. He observed her with a hunger that defied reason, his eyes tracing the delicate lines of her form as she tended to her hair with tender care. It was a simple gesture, devoid of any overt carnality, but it was enough to kindle a fire within him.

Nicholas found himself trapped in her gaze, a glance that pierced through the room. It was as if she possessed an otherworldly awareness, a subtle acknowledgement of his presence that sent shivers down his spine. His breath caught in his throat, a stifled gasp escaping his lips as he struggled to maintain composure.

In that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still, suspended in the fragile balance between desire and restraint. His hand continued its desperate rhythm, betraying the turmoil raging within him. Even as his body yearned for her, Nicholas wanted to look at her, to observe her like he never did, in the vulnerability of the night.

She remained oblivious to his presence, lost in the mundane tasks of dressing herself, unaware of the tempest brewing just beyond her window. But for Nicholas, her every movement was a symphony of temptation, a call beckoning him ever closer to the edge of reason.

With each passing second, the boundaries of propriety blurred, giving way to a primal hunger that consumed him whole. He was a man possessed, shackled by the chains of his own desire, unable to resist the pull of her allure.

And as he stood there, bathed in the pale glow of the moon, Nicholas knew that he had ventured too far into the darkness, surrendering himself to a passion that could only lead to ruin. But, even in the depths of his despair, he found solace in the knowledge that for one brief moment, he had allowed himself to want her as he damned the consequences.

The more he touched himself the more he frowned his brows, slowing the movements of his fingers. He tried to calm his tempestuous breathing, tried not to come in his garment like a young one but it was an undying torture.

In the hushed sanctuary of her chamber, she moved with a delicate grace, her form, a silhouette against the flickering candlelight. Her slender arms swayed gently as she reached out, fingertips brushing against the handle of the candleholder, guiding it to its rightful place on the nightstand. The candle, cradled within her grasp, cast dancing shadows across the room. There was nothing more than innocence within her every movement.

But as she performed this simple act, Nicholas found himself trapped in a web of his thoughts. Though her actions spoke only of purity and grace, his mind betrayed him, wandering down forbidden pathways fraught with desire and longing.

His hand pressed on himself, he groaned again, his forehead covered in sweat betraying him. He couldn't handle anything anymore. He touched himself like she touched the light. And he whispered her name as he finished between his fingers.

She continued her ethereal motions through the room. Each step echoed softly against the ancient floorboards, a melancholic melody that stirred the very air around her. With a gentle sigh, she departed, leaving behind the confines of her sanctuary.

As she vanished into the shadows beyond, the weight of her absence hung heavy in the air, leaving Nicholas to wrestle with his unruly desires amidst the solitude of the rectory garden. Alone with his sins, he was left to confront the horrors of longing that raged within his heart. He was left to face the monstrosity he just committed.

[apollo-the-frog]

im just gonna make a list of my favorite rwrb quotes

(sorry for any mistakes)

"you decided to put your dick into the heir to the british throne" zahra says, as she is actively pegging the equerry to the heir to the british throne

"HRH PRICE DICKHEAD💩"

to alex from henry

("is alex claremont diaz going to be a father?" news) 

to alex

"but we were ever so careful dear"

The turkey /cornbread knows my sins, 

Henry 

-alex

(I totaly... Privately called that)

-nora abt henry kissing alex

(I have no idea what a maypole is... Are they known for their homosexual tendencies?)-alex

"Who says make love anymore? Are we gonna like... Listen to Lana del Rey while we do it?) -alex

"everytime I see you it takes another year off of my life" -zahra after she sees henry in alexs closet 

[ALEX READING ONE LAST STOP]

"it's like there's a rope attached to my chest and its pulling me towards you"

-alex on the dock with henry

"if you want me to leave you'll have to tell me to leave"-alex at the palace after henry ghosted him

(WHEN THEY WRITE THE HISTORY OF MY LIFE I WANT IT TO INCLUDE YOU. And my LOVE FOR YOU!!)

-alex (i think) at the museum at night

"HISTORY, HUH? 

BET WE COULD MAKE SOME"

-alex at the museum at night

(and I'm not gonna get any work done until you let these lovesick homosexuals on the phone with one another) -zahra on the phone to shaan after email leaks (the lovesick homosexuals are alex and henry)

"the phrase 'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing youve ever writen to me"-henry (i think) in emails

"Sugar, I cannot express to you how much the press does not give a fuck about who started what," Ellen says. "As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn't your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term."-ellen claremont, after the cake incident 

“You and me and history, remember? We’re just gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”-alex, after email leaks

HRH Prince Dickhead @

You are the thistle in the tender

and sensitive arse crack of my life.

Text from Alex:

yo there’s a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe?

Text from Henry HRH Prince Dickhead:

I BEG YOU TO NOT

A: "You are gonna go be, like, five hundred feet away from me for the rest of the night, or else I am going to do something that I will deeply regret in front of a lot of very important people."

-after alex and henry make out in the red room

"O, fathers of my bloodline! O, ye kings of olde! Take this crown from me, bury me in my ancestral soil. If only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when American boys with chin

dimples are mean to him."-henry in emails writing a story abt them to alex

"Christ, you're as thick as it gets," he says, and he grabs Alex's face in both hands and kisses him.

“I don’t give a damn what Joanne has to say, Remus John Lupin is gay as the day is long, and I won’t hear a word against it.”-(henry i think) in texts

"The next slide is titled: EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?"

-ellen claremont, the powerpoint presentation 

"Sometimes you just jump and hope it's not a  cliff."(idk who said that but i think henry)

"Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You're... my friend." "No, I'm not." "Zahra, you're my mean friend." "Am not."-alex (idk when)

"I've been gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Phillip."-henry, with the queen

"Diaz, you insane, hopeless romantic little shit, says the voice of the President of the United States, muffled in the bed. "It had better be forever. Be safe"-ellen claremont, on voicemail 

oh shit i forgot the agenst the walls one sorry 😢

if you know the page # or character/time mistakes put in tags :)

[sweetroyalberry]

ooc; TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging: you know

---

Name: Neku

Pronouns: he/him/his [starting to consider they/them]

Birthday (no year): February 24

Where are you from? What is your time zone? Northeastern USA; EST

Roleplay experience: ~1.5 years, starting with Puyo Puyo Tumblr RP (yes I am serious) that led to friends recommending me to try FE indie RP. I went on hiatus for a few years but am back in closed RP form.

Got any pets? I only had some short-lived goldfish when I was veeery young

Favorite time of year: Winter

Some interests and things you like: Math (ew), gaming, music, golf

Some funfacts & trivia about you: Okay how did I miss this my first time uhh I try to do competitive gaming in Smash and Splatoon! Also I had a very brief time of playing drums when I was younger but now I just keep the rhythm to myself.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Smash Bros, Splatoon, TWEWY, Touhou Project, and (most current delusion) Kiseki/Trails

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Fighting, Empoleon (this one is too hard)

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Older brother has exposed me to many franchises I liked, with this time being him showing me a bit of FE7 on his totally legal GBA. From there I eventually played it myself but first got to complete Awakening later on and it snowballed from there.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? All of them barring FE1, 3, 5, and Three Hopes. FE4 is also technically there but I have attempted to start it many times; oh and FE12 as well.

First Fire Emblem game: Blazing Blade

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Echoes: Shadows of Valentia

Any Fire Emblem crushes? I think Lyn was my first due to FE7 being my first game (very creative I know), and now currently Ayra is probably within my walls

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? - Awakening: Tiki - Fates: Kagero - Three Houses: I literally cannot remember and am too lazy to check but let's just say Shamir - Engage: Ivy

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Promoted mages, specifically Sage

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class? Probably General because I'm too big.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? Blue Lions

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with? Sigurd would be my pure gameplay pick, but Ike would be really fun to vibe with [he's probably my favorite lord behind Alm!]

How did you find TOA? Short story: N. Longer-ish story: I started to desire trying to RP again, especially with my rekindled interest in FE thanks to Engage's reception, and then I begun hanging out with N more and he told me more about this place. Yeah, said it was only longer-ish.

Current TOA muses: Mae, Sonya

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again? Mae is someone I saw (not too highly) placed on 2022-2023's Most Wanted list and I knew I wanted to do an Echoes muse to start. I don't know if they mesh with my own personality/style well, but they are definitely fun to play around with still. :>

Have you had any other TOA muses? Shamir was a short project that got smashed up due to a busy summer/nerves, but I do want to visit her again someday. Her voice and personality is very strong, but might not be for me.

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards? Magic cool. Pegasus knights cool. Sword people cool! Personality-wise, I think I try to veer more toward social muses, which like I said w/ Mae doesn't really fit me in real life but...hehe.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most? I'm still trying to find a general vibe, but I really do like writing scenarios that deep-dive into muses' thoughts, like...not 100% angst, but still not light?

Favorite TOA-related memory: I'm still young but running in right as everyone started kissing each other and being able to join was...very good.

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day in TOA that you’d like to share? I somewhat shown off my more out-there delusions via tier lists (highlights being Yglr from a very brief attempt to bandwagon from FEH Book II hype before reminding myself why I hate bandwagoning) and I made my interest in Citrinne pretty public, but currently (when I am NOT getting absorbed into Alm-route side material oh god spare me please) I am desiring Anna Fire Emblem. No specification on which one, because that's part of the fun for me too :)

[djs-horny-blog-lmao]

do you have any hypno writers you really like? either for TSS or just in general. your writing is great so I feel like you'd have good taste in recs

- 👽

first off, 🥺 that's really sweet thank you

second off, i don't think im going to have a very good answer for you. legitimately, i used to trawl the nsfs/nsfw tags the most,,, back in about 2019?? and the landscape of who's writing and how much is being written has changed a surprising amount, and I can't remember for the life of me who i used to read.

the sanders stuff? fuck dude i dont remember anyone other than @/tulipanthousa in specific, but i remember reading good stuff. God. i remember tss kinktober 2019 was really good but i cannot rely on tumblr ever being able to take me back that far.

when it comes to just hypnokink blogs? again a lot of the stuff i initially microdosed on is actually gone (i joined tumblr first for porn but also like,,,, ten months before the porn ban)

But i am still gonna list a whole bunch of blogs i find inspiring / hot. tho tbh you might have guessed some of these already based on my rb history

(im also not tagging ANYONE bc im just some rando fandom smut blog and that'd be mortifying >.<)

@/of-mutts-and-men just hits that monsterfucker vibe perfectly. a lot of werewolf vibes and ive been so into that lately. also a healthy dose of mind-fuckery.

@/aspiring-house-husband has really good hypno story posts (and non hypno) but just. clenches fist. the eroticism is off the charts. their posts are So inspiring. and so fucking hot. drives me crazy insane.

@/erogenousmind also is top notch and im pretty sure, from memory, has some really good hypno scripts? im picky w/ scripts, i dont like ones that try bait you into reblogging at the end >.< and a lot of them dont necessarily pace well, but i remember this person's stuff being Good

@/yoyomindloops is v much the same as above. they have that erotic hypno dnd series. good shit.

and tho im p sure theyre not on tumblr anymore actively, the blog is still up, and @/lewd-zko's art is just. such internet hypnokink classic.

im also gonna cite 2 like,,, 'makes hypno porn video content' things that i find really inspiring/hot too (tho i will admit, ive never bought their things, i dont exactly have the privacy to do so nor the funds)

@/the-hedge-hypnotist was a guy i remember has been around for ages and has been like,,, solidly one of the Ethical Hypno Content Guys? there's been... a fair amount of drama over the years, it seems, but yeah. he always super cites the models he works with and even the teasers for what they make is super top notch and really erotic. i remember one i was obsessed w/ was super eldritch horror... and i didnt even think i was into that

and lastly, a site that's been driving me insane and im actually gonna link it directly, is Mesmerotic. their people are hot, theyre hypno is hot and real and genuine, and even tho like,,, i can't buy their stuff yet, their teasers/snippets are insanely good. and they do some versatile things!

the other major idea spinner, other than my own brain, is actually DM's with a bestie ^-^' it's no more than plotting erotic fics together (it's actually for a different fandom, i reuse the ideas and she doesn't mind) but got ae have some good kinky ideas. the superhero stuff? that was aem.

...i dont know if this is quite what you meant, but... yeah! fdkgjfdg

[tinker-tanner]

Tag Nine People You'd Like to Know Better

Favourite colour: intense, vivid green. I don't know how to describe it properly, but if you imagine the glow of radioactive waste in a cartoon, that's about it. Purple, orange, red, and black also suit me well.

Favourite flavour(s): My palate is unfortunately rather unsophisticated thanks to having almost zero sense of smell until age 27 (thank you estrogen for my life), so my sense of taste hasn't historically had a lot of room for variation. That said, there is nothing in this world quite like top-notch cheesy garlic bread.

Favourite music: indie rock writ broadly. This ranges from folky stuff like The Mountain Goats to metal-adjacent prog like Polyphia to the vast soundscapes of Sigur Rós. Also enjoy quite a bit of rap, electronic music, and folk.

Favourite movie: Attack the Block, always and forever. It's the perfect mix of horror, teenage shenanigans, comedy, and genuine emotion. This is also John Boyega's first starring role. I genuinely cannot believe he pulled off this kind of leading man energy as a teenager: watching this movie in 2012 lets me sincerely say I was into him before it was cool.

Favourite book: Two-way tie for first. Book of the New Sun by Gene Wolfe might be the smartest book I've ever read. Not that it makes the reader feel smart - I have rarely felt dumber than when I'm trying to understand what Severian is leaving out of a story - but that there's so much going on and every reread enhances how much you can extract from it. The Sisters of Dorley by Alyson Greaves helped give me the courage to finally acknowledge I was a woman and is also just a stupendous psychological drama filled with women who have so, so many things wrong with them. Honorary mention to The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, which is still up there but no longer quite in the top spot.

Favourite series: Revolutionary Girl Utena. I did not know TV could ever be this good. I do not expect any TV show to astound me this much again. Watching Utena, I could feel my brain physically reshape itself. The show is unexpectedly blunt about rape and child abuse considering it's shojo, so watch out for that, but if you can handle it, watch this show.

Last song: "Sun Bleached Flies" by Ethel Cain. The perfect song for a certain mood when you need to reckon with not being Christian anymore. The first time I heard her sing "God loves you, but not enough to save you" was like a revelation.

Last series: Afraid I don't watch enough TV to remember this.

Last movie: The Boy and the Heron. Miyazaki near the peak of his powers, which I never expected to see again. The big screen added a lot to this one. Even by the usual high standards Ghibli sets, it's incredibly gorgeous.

Currently reading: Beowulf (as translated by Maria Dahvana Headley). I'm a sucker for Old English literature. Took two courses on Old English in undergrad and they were some of my favourites of the degree until the person who taught me turned out to be profoundly racist. Headley's take is bizarre and therefore compelling to me: I'm always interested in seeing how weird someone can get with the source material.

Currently watching: Nothing. I weeded and organised my bookshelves for the first time in the 2020s and am taking advantage of this to read my TBR list at a ferocious pace.

Currently working on: Nothing in particular. I'm not all that creatively inclined and what little writing projects I did have were pushed aside by all the real-life nonsense I'm juggling. Tarot reading has been a joy to learn, though; attempting to interpret real-world events through knotty tangles of symbolism is exactly the sort of thing my brain likes. Shoutout to The Tarot Restless by Winslow Dumaine, which dared to ask "What if I made up my own Dark Souls cosmology and put it in a deck of cards?"

Tagged by @tobermoriansass, which I find terribly considerate given how hard it is to drag him away from his elves these days. Tagging @sophibeans @stackslip @licoricefern @deadciv @catgirltoes @loki-zen and whoever else would like to join in!

[littleragondin]

On Repeat Tag Game

I was tagged by @bengiyo and @troubled-mind to put my repeat playlist on Spotify on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. Thank you both! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝

As always it's a little bit all over the place, but here are my 10!

aeseaes - Carrion Comfort

I have liked all aeseaes songs I have heard so far. This one I heard for the first time as I was re-reading Abarat by Clive Barker, where the villain (who fascinated me as a teen) is called Christopher Carrion, and the song has been haunting me since. Also I can't resist some cannibalism imagery.

Luther Vandross - Your Secret Love

Haha okay, so maybe I listened to this one on loop while I was working on my Love in Translation's gifset. I just really, really like this song - I am a sucker for love songs, and he is so, so good at it. Plus, what a voice...

안예은 Ahn Ye Eun - 홍련 (紅蓮) HONGRYEON

Alright, I discovered Ahn Ye Eun (kinda) literally two days ago thanks to @petrichoraline and I already have three songs of hers in the on repeat (the other 2 are Trumpet Creeper and Changgwi). She has an incredible voice, her instrumentals are so rich, and I adore how she plays around with horror themes and traditional myths. I am a little obsessed. (I'd recommend going down the comms a little, someone translated the lyrics and gave a few notes)

Debout sur le zinc - La déclaration

That's my favorite song of theirs and one of my favorite love song period. It's very sweet, but my favorite is the ending verse where he says. "It's a bit of a declaration [of love] even if I know that you're not/ the remedy nor the solution, just a splint on my arm/that small thing linking us to others when we don't do well/an ultimate language of survival that put the world back on its axis" - recognizing that love won't heal him entirely but is still necessary for him to survive.

Jonathan Hultén - Where Devils Weep

I cannot for the life of me remember how I found this one, but the sorrowful music with those, in the end, hopeful lyrics have been a pick me up the past week.

Déportivo - Les Bières Aujourd'hui S'ouvrent Manuellement

Deportivo is a french rock band from my teen years, so this cover is a bit of a throwback. This is a quietly sad song about a man realizing that his long term relationship has run its course - "It will always be a mystery to me/how the body get used to it/when love dies slowly". It talk about the very mundane things (his partner turning their back at him when they go to bed, the clicking of their spoon the only sound between them as they dine) that made him realize they are not in love anymore.

The Real Zebos – Puttin' On the Ritz

Tons of covers of this song exist (I do love Taco's version from like 1982 I think). This one came up in the spotify recs and it clicked for me. Love the singer's voice, and it feels fresh without losing it's original vibe.

Simon & Garfunkel - America

I have slowly been working my way through Simon & Garfunkel's discography over the last few months -because all their songs I grew up with I love. But since I discovered this one, it's a go to when I feel down and I need something for comfort (there is something that makes me feel heard in "Katie I'm lost I said though I knew she was sleeping. I'm empty and aching and I don't know why").

เงา (SHADOW) - LAZYLOXY

Guess what show I'm excited for!!!!! Joke aside, I put Lazyloxy's opening for Rakdiao on loop for weeks when I watched that show, so the moment this came out spotify stuffed it under my nose and I really like it!

Elisabeth (2005) - Marktplatz in Wien (Milch)

Like last year, October somehow means I start putting the 2005 live recording in Vienna of Elisabeth on repeat. I love musicals, and I have a special relationship to this one (it's the musical that got me into Takarazuka and my first German musical). This song always scratches the itch perfectly so I listen to it even more than the rest of the album (all songs with Lucheni are top tiers for me)

If you feel like doing it, I will tag @petrichoraline, @sparklyeyedhimbo, @scienceoftheidiot, @howdydowdy, and @iguessitsjustme !

[rubyleaf]

Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

[iguana-eyanna]

I posted 91 times in 2022

55 posts created (60%)

36 posts reblogged (40%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@persehpone

@cocoamoonmalfoy

@fantastic-fantasy-fanfics

@apureniallsource

@okay-j-hannah

I tagged 49 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#dc - 12 posts

#marvel - 12 posts

#dc comcis - 11 posts

#jason todd - 10 posts

#batman - 10 posts

#damian al ghul - 10 posts

#damian wayne - 10 posts

#dick grayson - 10 posts

#bruce wayne - 10 posts

#tim drake - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 33 characters

#sherlock holmes x pregnant reader

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Come To Your Senses

Summary: Neither you or Sherlock are honest about your true feelings for each other. But is either one brave enough to admit it before you wed another?

a/n: part two of Don't You Remember, inspired by the song Come to Your Senses by Jonathon Larson

It became rather difficult during the weeks to lead up to your wedding.

First off, someone had tipped off of your alliance with the Holmes brothers and gave you more threatening letters. It became so bad that you had to tell your fiance the truth and it caused more problems as he knew your previous relationship with Sherlock.

Speaking of the notorious detective, he decided to stop by your engangement party to tell you of his suspicions for your case. Before he walks up to you, your fiance walks out with a furious gaze, giving Sherlock a dirty look.

Sherlock doesn't react to the pompous prat leaving as his only wish was to speak to you. You were about to talk to your other relatives until you saw Sherlock.

"What are you doing here?" you ask a bit hostile.

Sherlock lists his hand in the air, holding a small notebook.

"I have my deductions... I was wondering if I could have a dance." he says.

You don't say anything but you give your hand to him. You two make your way to the dance floor, where prying eyes were on both of you.

"The wedding is still going on, I suppose?" he asks out loud.

You scoff as your eyes began to burn.

"I don't have time for your mind games, Sherlock." You bite back as you two began to dance.

"Judging from the dirty look he gave me, you must had a squabble with him. What is it, he wants to hire another investigator or he thinks that you're having an affair-"

"Do you really think I would do something that awful?" you ask, hurt that he would ever suggest anything so cruel.

"Then what frustrates you and your fiance then?" He raises his voice.

"He said I can't perform anymore!" You tell Sherlock, who became shell shocked.

You realized you made a scene but people resumed to the boring festivities. "He said that I am unsafe outside the bounds of his estate. Every time I am on a stage, the more chances my life will be in danger. I can't act in front of large crowds or live as I please. I tried to reason with him, but he doesn't want me hurt. And I don't know what to do to get through... I don't know what to do." you say to yourself.

Sherlock stands still. "He can't do that to you. Does he not know that it makes you happy?" he asks.

You lower your head as tears threaten to fall on your cheeks. "I can't disobey him, he's supposed to be my husband." you say in a low tone.

Sherlock takes your hand and leads you outside from the ballroom to a quiet gazebo. You sit down, tears staining your cheek. He gives you his hankerchief, and you take it slowly away from his hand.

"If a man makes you cry out of sadness, I suggest you don't marry him." He says with care in his voice.

"I have to laugh, You sure put on a show." you bitterly chuckled under your breath. Sherlock goes up to you, kneeling at your side.

"Come to your senses. Defenses are not the way to go. And you know, or at least you knew. Where is that fire cracking spirit that didn't care of society's standards and wanted to create something wonderful?"

You shake your head in frustration "Love is passe in this day and age. I can't refuse the privileges that are to be gifted to me. If I call off the wedding, it will taint my image and my family's reputation. I cannot do this to them.

"You've changed." He says in a small voice.

You get up from your seat, trying not to let your heart speak its truth.

"If we feel as we did, and I do want nothing more than to speak of what's imaginable... but I can't. Love becomes disposable when you realize you can't have it anymore. I must play the part of his wife and I plan to do it flawlessly." You concluded.

Sherlock gets up from his knelt position and looks down.

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316 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

#4

The Worth of a Flower

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Summary: When the Witcher visits a kingdom, he stumbles upon a mysterious villager. He soon finds out you're not so ordinary as you appear to be.

Warning: arranged marriage

A few days.

Geralt was to stay at a neighboring kingdom for a few days.

He was just passing by from a quest. He was famished, tired.

Jaskier was tasked to find an inn as he was annoying the Witcher. His fatigue wore him down as he accidentally bumps into a commoner.

He grunts to himself and looks down to the person that fell onto the ground.

But, somehow, his breath was caught in his throat as he saw you.

You were too startled to speak as you see a huge man towering over you.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-" You stuttered out, afraid for what might happen.

"No, please. This is my fault. Let me give you a hand." Geralt said gently.

You were confused about his kindness but you take his calloused hand and brought yourself up.

"Thank you." You quietly said, trying not to blush.

"My pleasure." He said, feeling this unknown giddiness that was forming in his heart.

"I must leave but, I thank you again for your help." You said, quickly leaving as your cheeks were as red as rose buds.

Jaskier arrives where Geralt stood, wondering why this brooding man changed moods so quickly.

"You met a woman, didn't you?" Jaskier teased.

Geralt rolled his eyes and walked towards the inn the bard came from.

As the hours passed, Geralt could only wish to see you again. His wish was granted as he would catch glimpses of you on the streets, admiring the festivities or tending to the poor. He was shocked at how you would give a gold coin so easily and wondered where you would have such wealth.

It took him the courage to go up to you one day as you were picking apples at a stand.

"If you're wanting to ask me something, you'd better ask now before flies get in your mouth." You said, not looking up to the witcher.

Geralt feels like an idiot as his broad figure hasn't been the most stealthiest as he watches you from afar.

"You're not frightened of me?" He asks.

You look up at him, smiling.

"Why would I?" You said, admiring how his hair reminded you of a mane that galloped freely.

He coughs in his mouth and takes a closer step to you.

"I would love to accompany you on a walk if you'd allow me." He asks sincerely.

Your cheeks fall red again as you are most impressed at his chivalry.

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354 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

#3

Mend What's Broken

Pairing: Druig x reader

Summary: Druig travels to Australia to relieve Gilgamesh from taking care of Thena. But what he didn't expect was to find you, their daughter.

Warnings: deviant attack, past hurt!reader, use of shotgun (self-defense)

Druig never liked the hot, dry weather. He was already missing the amazon jungle that was full of life.

He would have loved Australia more if Gilgamesh and Thena didn't live on the outskirts of the country.

But they had to, Thena still had mahd wy'ry. Gilgamesh had called upon Druig so he could take a few days off. Druig didn't mind of course, they were his family and he would do anything for them.

Now, he pulled into their house in a rental jeep.

'Not much has changed...' he thought since his last visit. There was the outside oven where a faint smell of blueberry pie hung in the air, there was the tree where Thena was mostly meditating or drawing, there was a girl that was hanging up wet clothes-

Wait.

Why is there a young woman here?

Did his eyes deceive him?

He softly walks closer to the woman who had her back faced him. She was humming a soft tune as she bent down to a basket to finish hanging up the wet garments. Her voice alone made the mind controller feel powerless, making him feel weak on his knees. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling a type of peace he hasn't felt for a long time.

Suddenly, the humming stops. Druig opens his eyes and he realizes the girl has caught him.

What made Druig even more delirious was the girl was pointing a shotgun directly towards his head.

"Dad!" she screamed, fury in her eyes.

"Dad?" Druig repeated, raising his hands up high to show he meant no harm.

In a rush, Gilgamesh runs out of the house, ready to fight. It wasn't until he saw Druig that he put his guard down.

"Don't worry, honey. It's just Druig, our friend." Gilgamesh said.

The girl lowered her gun, but didn't put her guard down to the stranger before her. Thena appeared out of the house and walked up to the young girl, murmuring something under her breath. The two women walked inside of the house and Thena shot a glance at Gilgamesh.

"I didn't mean for you to find out this way." Gilgamesh said, finishing the chores you were doing earlier.

Druig followed the mighty warrior, confused.

"Why didn't you tell me you two had a daughter?" Druig said.

Gilgamesh released a big sigh and put down the now-empty basket.

"A few years ago, Thena and I were on a walk. We suddenly heard a scream nearby and went to the source. It was a deviant, slaughtering a small camp area. Thena and I took it down, she almost had a relapse until we heard a small whimper. She turned around and saw that there was a little girl hiding in a bush. She looked no younger than 7, and the deviant scarred her on the left side of her face. Thena looked up to me and I knew that we wanted to take care of her as our own."

"So you just kidnapped a girl without researching any family she had left." Druig bit back.

Gilgamesh felt a fury in him and stepped in front of Druig.

"Don't you ever insist that, we did the right thing. My girl in there just saw her family torn to shreds. And if we took her to an orphanage or any family, no one would believe what she'd seen. And what would happen to her then?"

Druig fell silent, not realizing the casualties of people discovering more alien beings on the planet.

"I'm sorry." Druig apologized sincerely. Gilgamesh just patted on the mind reader's shoulder and walked towards the house.

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356 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

#2

Not As Beautiful As You

Pairing: Barry Keoghan x actress! reader

Summary: the cast for the Eternals have been acting strange since the beginning of the premiere, and you realize they all know something you don't

"Babe, could you help me tie the back of my dress?" You hollered as you stand in front of the body mirror.

Barry, your boyfriend of almost 6 years, comes out from the bathroom and admires you at the door frame.

"You look cute when you're flustered," he said, teasing you.

You scoff as he walks up behind your back, already wrapping the ties to cinch your waist.

Once he finishes, he moves your hair on the side and kisses the back of your neck, making you blush.

"You're breathtaking." He whispers.

You smile as you turn around, close to his chest.

"That's what I was going for." You smirked, as you walk towards the bed where your heels were at.

You and Barry are in a hotel suite at the moment to prepare for the Eternal's premiere. You were excited as this was your first acting debut. In the credit scene, you're portrayed as Heater Delight, a love interest to Eros.

You found it hilarious as you had a great friendship with Harry. You formally met him on the set of Dunkirk where Barry introduced you two to each other. Harry loved you guys and invited you to a few of his live shows over the years. Paparazzi would even catch you, Harry, and Barry drinks at some pubs or out for dinner.

You look out the window, seeing how dark the sky was as the city lights illuminated.

Barry looks down on his phone and sees that Harry was face timing him.

"Barry! Wanted to call to wish you good luck tonight." Harry shouted as he was prepping before a live show for his tour.

"You better mean about the premiere man, and not, you know." Barry warned as he was referring to your presence.

"Is that who I think it is?" You yell out loud, walking as fast as you can in your heels to see who's talking to your boyfriend.

"Hey, H! Wish you were here!" you said through the phone.

"Same here, the tour has been a bit tiring but I hope that you'll have more of a blast."

"Why is that?" you ask, knitting your eyebrow.

Barry took the phone away from your hand and gave a stern gaze at the singer.

"It's your first red carpet where you're debuting of course!" Harry laughs nervously.

"We need to leave soon. I'll catch up later." Barry said.

Harry returns a guilty look and waves goodbye as Barry hung up.

"Rude." You say out loud.

Barry doesn't say anything but kisses the top of your head quickly.

"The driver should be pulling up soon, we should head down." He says, under his breath.

It's not like your boyfriend to brush Harry off like that, the boys would take hours of catching up! You roll your eyes as you follow your boyfriend in tow, probably thinking how he might be a bit nervous as this was his official Marvel film.

With no time wasted, you two arrived at the premiere. You all were shocked at how many fans showed up, but excited nonetheless. Barry never left by your side when you were both taken on the red carpet. Then, you get to see the rest of the cast mates as they gathered in the middle for group shots.

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470 notes - Posted January 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What They Didn't Know Was Missing

Summary: It's hard to come into terms of becoming a mother, but Sherlock reassures you that he'll remind you every day that you are worthy of being one to your child.

Warning: pregnancy symptoms, labor, mentions of abandonment, mentions of gun violence

It was around noon at 221 Baker Street. Sherlock was walking back home with a small packaged box in hand, holding it a bit tighter than he should.

He makes his way to his apartment, walking on the steps as he turned his key to the room. He looks around, not minding that his organized mess is gone and the smell of his pipe no longer lingered in the air.

Sherlock was territorial when it came to his home, but he made changes in his life when he met you.

You were the owner of a barkeep, feisty, and wasn't afraid of telling a man off when he didn't pay his tab. So when Sherlock came to the bar to ask about a suspect, you'd only answer his questions if he was a paying customer.

Either he was desperate to find answers or he just wanted to stay to talk to you for hours, the Holmes man paid a heavy load.

You both weren't afraid of courting each other in public, even if you two weren't of the same status. But, it was time to change some things. Your pub that you've built from the ground up turned into a legit business and Sherlock turned from his lone wolf days and finally proposed to you.

"I never knew I was alone until I met you, and I don't want that feeling again."

Your ceremony was small, Enola and his mother shed a few tears and you couldn't believe that his eldest brother, Mycroft, came (he never liked you due to your independent spirit, but he started to tolerate you more. Call it a win). Being married for about half a year has been a dream. But like a dream, one has to wake up.

Once Sherlock takes off his outdoor attire, he searches for you and lands his eyes on a figure on his couch.

"Hi." he whispered softly as he kneels to your level as you laid on the couch.

You turn around to face him and give him a tired smile.

"Same symptoms as yesterday?" He asks, unpacking the small box in his hand.

"Yes. When you left this morning, I awoke abruptly and felt sick." You said as your stomach churned.

"Here, chew this." Sherlock said, taking out an herb that was small as a chestnut.

You leaned your head further as he fed you the piece. You slightly grimace at the taste.

"It taste like grass." You said.

"I didn't know that you eat grass." He said, smirking. You lightly smack his chest as you lie on your side.

"It's already fighting off the nausea. How did you know it will work?" You ask.

Sherlock sat on the ground while he combed your hair with his fingers to help you relax.

"I remember my mother used it when she was pregnant with Enola."

You pause at his words, feeling your face pale.

Pregnant... the word scared you.

You got up from your lying position as Sherlock dotingly helps you too. He sits beside you as you laid your head on his shoulder. You've been feeling some sort of way since a doctor diagnosed you alongside your husband's deduction. Secretly, Sherlock was thrilled that he would become a father, he never thought he'd had a chance of having a family of his own.

He looks down at you, his eyes gazing at how you've been losing sleep and appearing almost crestfallen. He knows why you’ve been feeling like this, but he wants to hear it from you first.

“Please, love. I just want to know how I can help you.” He murmurs.

You begin to sniffle as you try to avoid his gaze.

“You can’t, Sherlock..” you said as you were about to get up.

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956 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[mikibwrites]

personal crap under the cut, massive tw for self harm and the thoughts that go along with that.

I wanted to apologize for my absence on here lately. I know you've seen me reblogging n liking sometimes, and i do enjoy coming on here when i have a couple extra spoons bc I love reading everyone's wip posts and the like. When i have even more spoons i try and go back and comment on things i've read and try to be upbeat but most of the time it feels like a lie (not the things i say in comments i MEAN those i definitely mean all the wonderful things i have to say abt your fic, it just feels like im faking a smile for the moment when im making the comment if that makes sense idk)

the truth is i'm not okay. i haven't been okay in....a long time. up until a couple of months ago i was pretty good at masking but it's like i've lost the ability to even do that. i go to work and do what i can to get thru the day. i come home and i barely speak. my husband worries, i know he does, but he doesn't know what to do. the other day at work i dropped a paper clip on the floor while trying to clip some papers together and my mind immediately went "you deserve to die a painful death". and i just thought....yeah. true.

i'm not going to do it. i know im not. mostly in life i tend to just hurt myself in ways that linger. burns. hitting myself till i bruise. stop eating. eat too much. things like that.

also i isolate. i isolate so much that i lose decades long friendships. just bc i can't find the wherewithal to respond to a message. and they end up thinking its their fault when its not. not at all. but then what else are they supposed to think when i essentially ghost them? when i have absolutely zero ability to keep up a convo even in DMs. if You're reading this (which im sure You're not bc why would you) Im sorry. I've thought about you at least once a day every day since you left. I honestly do not know if i could've done better. maybe i was always a piece of shit. You definitely deserve better. You don't want to know nor should you care what i did to myself after i read your last message. bc it is no way your fault and you should not feel anything abt it. but. yeah.

i'm talking abt this friendship i lost and i don't even know when it happened. it feels like it was yesterday. but i could have been years for all i know. time doesn't make sense anymore. i don't sleep. i don't take care of myself. i'm a shell. and yet i get up and go to work every day bc i will be homeless if i don't.

i don't even really know what i'm trying to say here. i guess maybe im trying to tell anyone i've befriended in any of my fandoms that im still here but im not like...here. and im not okay. not by a long shot. but like. i'm trying. also i see every time someone tags me and it makes me ache bc even if it's a copy/paste of a prewritten list, someone remembered i exist today, outside of what people need from me. i have given all of myself and my psyche to a job i used to love but now cannot stand. it's nice to feel acknowledged by someone who doesn't want anything from me other than to show me something they're proud of. it's nice.

so anyway. sorry for the steam of consciousness. i just. needed to say something somewhere. and also apologize for ghosting anyone. i tend to do that.

[fizzingwizard]

found some more cottagecore asks ty op

tagging @prevailing-westerly because you seem to like doing these too, and anyone else who might want to

teacup: what are 5 of your favorite songs at the moment?

Francesca - Hozier Two Slow Dancers - Mitski About Summer - Luli Lee Wish - Olivia Lufkin Hopeless Wanderer - Mumford and Sons

candle: how did you meet your best friend?

I don't have a best friend right now, so I'll talk about my childhood best friend. Not to knock adult friendships, but childhood relationships are so full of firsts and extremes of emotion that I feel like this one will always be special to me.

We were next door neighbors after I moved into the neighborhood when I was eight. I don't remember being introduced. But the other kids on the street included a girl my friend didn't like, a boy I didn't like, and then a few kids we just never interacted with (although years later I got to be friends with one of them through Girl Scouts). So pretty much we got to be friends because we didn't like anyone else :P and we both liked to play pretend. It was so much fun that I used to dread growing out of it, and we kept playing pretend long after most kids moved on.

blanket: what is your sleep schedule like?

Technically healthier than when I was younger, lol. I can't do all nighters anymore, not without paying the price. I get 6-8 hours a night, more of the 8 hours recently because I just pass out around ten or eleven with the lights on and stuff. On vacations I can still get by on less. Since I live alone and don't have kids, I have fewer sleep troubles. Even so, when I'm working I still feel so tired in the evenings.

hot chocolate: do you have a crush / partner / etc? describe them if so!

My boyfriend looks a little bit like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born. I think I liked the movie particularly because of that, haha. He's quiet but friendly and very gentle and go with the flow. He always has candles lit.

fireplace: what has been your favorite age so far?

Whatever age I'm at. Every stage of my life has had its share of joys and difficulties. So as tempting as it is to say childhood, when happiness was never overshadowed by fears of tomorrow, I don't think it's really true.

cookie jar: if you could be doing anything right now, what would you do?

Swimming in the sea in Okinawa, for sure. And then ice cream afterward.

sweater: do you remember any of your dreams? describe them if so!

The dreams I tend to remember are all disturbing lol. And they fade when I try to think of them. I only remember one, from when I was a kid, a recurring dream in which a deer would approach me in random places. I'd be extremely scared and then wake up. The deer never did anything. I didn't have a fear of deers. Cannot explain.

doll: describe yourself through a mixture of fictional characters

Jo March with a touch of Beth. Right smack in the middle of Elinor and Marianne Dashwood. Bit of Snufkin, more Moomintroll, even more Moominmamma.

kitsch: what are your favorite books?

Well, the Moomin books obviously. Others: Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro), Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen), Lord of the Rings (JRR Tolkien), The God of Small Things (Arundhati Roy), Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte), The Giver (Lois Lowry), His Dark Materials (Philip Pullmann).

lace: list 5 things you like about yourself

Committed 2. Genuine 3. Resilient 4. Accepting 5. Reflective

teddybear: what is your favorite temperature / weather?

70s Fahrenheit/ sunny if I'm outside doing stuff 60s F/ rainy if I'm inside writing

coffee mug: is there someone you miss right now?

My dad, who didn't reply to his birthday message

embroidery: do you consider yourself an artist?

In my opinion, to be human is to be an artist. People who actively try to control, restrict, or limit art have abandoned their humanity.

[xyriscomplanata]

Name: Xyris (X) or Izzy

Pronouns: I'm cool with any, my favourites are he/she/it/doll though so that's usually what I tell people

Where you call home: Honestly right now nowhere really, I'm just kinda floating around but nowhere feels home

Favourite animal: One thing about me is that I cannot pick favourites of anything I keep changing my mind!! Right now I feel inclined to say bumblebees or cats

Favourite cereal: I don't rlly eat cereal anymore but if it's crispy/crunchy and chocolate I'll probably like it

Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner: I feel like I'm just not a learner at all (auditory and sometimes visual learner I think)

First pet: See my family had nineteen cats and three dogs when I was one year old but I don't exactly remember that - first pet I remember having is a bunch of fish

Favourite scent: Again I'm really bad at picking favourites but right now new books slap, like when you open a book for the first time, also rain smells good but only when it's cold outside

Do you believe in Astrology: Not really

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/Apple Music/whatever: Exactly fifty-one but I always listen to the same five and don't touch the other ones anymore

Sharpies or Highlighters: I feel this may come as a surprise but I have never (knowingly) held a sharpie in my hands in my life and I don't exactly know the difference?? So maybe I have had sharpies?? But they're called something different in German? I don't know what sharpies are!! And Google can't decide????

A song that makes you cry: I have a list of songs that have actually made me cry before

- Feel better; Penelope Scott

- Body; Mother Mother

- Class of 2013; Mitski

- Fallen Down (Reprise); Toby Fox

- Alien Blues; Vundabar

- Bimbo doll; Tila Tsoli, BJ Lips (don't ask Idk either);

- ANY song in the Banana Fish ost but especially Him and Hym, and Prayer X

A song that makes you happy:

- Undertale; Toby Fox

- we fell in love in October; girl in red

- Hayloft || (Smashup); Mother Mother

Do you write/draw/create: Yep, usually I'm a writer who draws on the side but lately all my motivation has been for drawing and all my writing drafts have been rotting :((

Harassing you with tags feel free to ignore this @livinganime14 @moonstones-and-mangoes @breadbased @paddinglily

you know what? i'm actually gonna do a tag game this time!

tagged by @shadowoffandoms!!!

Name: Hiro!

Pronouns: they/he/she for now!! (aka any)

Where you call home: my bed HEHEHEHE

Favorite animal: raccoons, foxes, and monkeys!

Favorite cereal: s'mores cereal

Are you a visual, audio or kinesthetic learner: if that test i took in school 2 years ago still applies, then all 3!

First pet: theres WAYYYY too many pets i've had, although the ones i know were REALLY old were Shake, Rubin, and Oreo!

Favorite scent: UMMMMM i know i dont like the smell of cities all that much, so i guess my favorite would be the foreset or a lake!

Do you believe in astrology: I mean, maybe???? not really, although ill fully support anyone else who does believe it!

How many playlists do you have on Spotify/Apple music: i think like... 65??? i dont really use them though, i just listen to my liked songs playlist LDSNFKLJF

sharpies or highlighters: HIGHLIGHTERSS!!! i love bright colors

A song that makes you cry: Practically any cavetown song!! a lot of them are just really comforting to me, but the one that tends to hit the closest to home is probably the song empty bed!!

A song that makes you happy: I have lots of songs that make me happy, and a lot of them give off an insane vibe because im super normal, and they are -Hole Dwelling by Kikuo -Anytime You Smile by JT Music -Vampire Culture by Will Wood -Let's go to heaven! By Kikuo (again) -Snail by Cavetown (again)

Do you write/draw/create: yes! Yes i think!!! mostly draw though HEHEHE okay uhhuhfuah @karineverse @inka-boi @starswirly @mythicalmagical-monkeyman @birdinabowl @beanyboi173 @charlieswanismydad AND ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO