#i cannot emphasise the think enough i feel

[foundbybullet]

ok i think im done shit-talking dream for today

[castielmacleod]

Crowley when Cas is having another internalised homophobia moment about their relationship: hey, don’t cry, you and me ascending to godhood, ok?

[erosastro]

Synastry that indicates strong sexual attraction

🔥Venus and Ascendant aspects: Strong physical attraction in particular, even with the harder aspects, even though at times it can difficult. The sexual chemistry is strong af. They tend to idolise each other though, especially for Venus personally to the ascendant person. This of course is more mutual and harmonious with positive aspects(this includes conjunction).

🔥Mars aspecting Mars: The harsh aspects will be explosive to say the least, and likely impulsive and instantaneous even if they clash a lot. Harmonious aspects are still hot and heavy and cannot get enough of each other. There’s still strong desire for one another.

🔥Moon aspecting Mars: Mars desires the emotional qualities of the Moon and Moon is attracted to Mars energy and drive. Normally, the favourable aspects are better with this, including conjunction. This is also a major baby making aspect (obviously depending on other contributing aspects/factors).

🔥Venus aspecting Pluto: I LOVE the conjunction with this one and I know that’s an unpopular opinion but it’s sooo hot. Whilst it can get possessive and jealous, if you’re both mature enough people it won’t get unhealthy (imo). As much as I don’t have the conjunction, harsher aspects are more difficult to work with but the chemistry is unreal. You’re so attracted to each other regardless of the aspect. You’ll want to do each other anywhere and everywhere.

🔥Sun aspecting Mars: Again, even the harsh aspects create strong sexual energy between two people. Intense sexual attraction and with positive aspects your bodies seem to move in sync with each others naturally. Harsher aspects tend to be more rough but all aspects are hot and heavy.

🔥Sun aspecting Venus: I’d emphasise the positive aspects more on this one, maybe opposition too, but not always square. Because this is more the lovey-dovey, I wanna make love to you type of aspect. It’s gooey and romantic more than anything but the sexual tension is still intense.

🔥Venus aspecting Mars: this one is a classic and I think it can go a long way, even if the signs are not in the degree enough to make an aspect(for example a cancer Venus at 20° and Scorpio Mars at 10°). It can still be intense and both parties are attracted to each other. Squares are hot af in this aspect btw but tend to be complicated in the long run(again depending on other aspects).

🔥Mars aspecting Pluto: You’re instantly drawn to one another. They’re both fascinated with each other and can’t explain why. They can’t stay away from each other and the sex can get kinky👀 even with harsher aspects.

🔥8th house placements(particularly Venus, Mars, Lilith and Moon): As controversial as this placement is, you can’t deny the attraction you feel to one another. The sex here is intense and you can’t explain the emotional connection to the other person. It can be unsettling and deep but you can’t stay away from each other. Sex is otherworldly .

[identitty-dickruption]

alcoholism recovery timeline (as of 69 days of sobriety)

things are different for everyone, but I thought it could be useful for people if I sketch out a rough timeline of withdrawal symptoms/things that are still problems etc now that I'm over two months into recovery. caveat that my body may be different from yours

first few days

your big problem on day number one is getting through whatever hangover you might be experiencing from your most recent bout of drinking

HELL !

headaches. nausea. shaking. flu-like symptoms

the headaches took several days to die down, the nausea was mostly gone after 48 hours

cannot emphasise enough that the biggest problem of the first week is physical recovery. if things start to get scary, go to emergency. some people can experience seizures in withdrawal, and that can get dangerous

first few weeks

mood-swings. goddd the mood-swings. terrible

some of the longer-term withdrawal symptoms are going to start to be more obvious around this point

examples: clumsiness, nerve problems (e.g. the shakes won't go away), changes in appetite

it is at this stage that you want to establish some kind of routine around the times that you usually would be drinking. e.g. if you used to have your first drink at 7:30am, that is now Going For a Walk Time

you will learn just how strong your mental associations are between booze and various activities. the hard bit is breaking those associations. which is easier if you have replacements

around about one month

this is. a commonly reported danger-time

for me, and for others I've talked to, one month is around the time you start to think "hmm it can't have been that bad. surely I can just have a couple of drinks?" <- it was that bad. trust

this is the time when it can be good to start to take stock of what you've gained from sobriety. remember why you're doing it. have some positive reasons as well as the negative ones (e.g. sobriety makes me feel more comfortable in my body, more secure in my relationships, etc)

the other thing that can happen at this point is. the reasons you drank in the first place coming back in full force. this is the point where I went from "quitting alcohol" to "recovery from alcoholism"

around about two months

from here, I've mostly found it's about maintenance of the good habits I established early in recovery. this means reminding myself of why it's important to be keeping those habits going

the thing is. the tangible benefits might now be plateauing, so you need to make sure you're able to find ways to motivate yourself to keep going

if you're feeling comfortable to do so, it might be a good idea to test yourself a little bit. where it was a good idea to avoid bars in the first month, you might be okay to go back to those environments with your new coping strategies (just remember to give yourself an out)

you will keep learning about yourself and you will gain awareness of all sorts of triggers that weren't immediately obvious at first. as long as you stay vigilant and you know who to turn to in a crisis you will be okay. trust me <3

okay that's kind of where I'm at now. hope it helps. luck and love to all recovering alcoholics out there

[wonijinjin]

doctor seventeen with a s/o who has a weak immune system

synopsis: what the title says.

word count: 0.7k | genre: fluff, humour/crack | pairings: seventeen x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of being ill

texting and contacting you every day every minute: scoups, hoshi, dk, seungkwan, dino

these guys will check up on you a lot during the daytime, several times. you can expect messages like “drink your water throughout the day, I know you haven’t been drinking much. and please eat some fruits and vegetables too, they are perfect for your daily vitamin intake.” they will also not be shy to call or facetime you to check in and see how you are doing, especially in times when you are stressed about something, like school or work. they are the type to give you multiple lectures when you get sick or injured, like a parent scolding their child for their bad behaviour. “baby I told you to take your probiotics and vitamins regularly! taking one every few days isn’t going to make your immune system stronger! consistency is key we have talked about this so many times!” even though they are quite strict about these lectures their words always come from a place of love; they hate seeing you in pain, so they feel the need to prevent these events from happening with a good and detailed health lesson from time to time. “you know I don’t want to nag all the time, but you need to listen to me darling. I don’t like the idea of you catching the flu or any virus any time soon if I can do something about it.” their nagging can get annoying sometimes though, but hey, they are trying their best to protect you from the cruel world’s treats, so you will just have to accept it.

silent protectors: woozi, wonwoo, minghao, vernon

these guys’ love language when it comes to your health is definitely subtle acts of service; they are the ones who would go out of their way in order to prepare dinner for you to have a healthy meal when they know you didn’t have good food that day, or when you ate absolute garbage throughout your busy schedule. “come here sweetheart I ordered your favourite nutritious dish, have a taste!” they would offer sweetly, seeing how tired you are from working and running errands all day. they make sure you get enough rest during busy days as well; especially mentioning sleeping enough, since good sleep is an important part of keeping yourself healthy. “that’s enough for today, okay? you’ve got to sleep to give your system time to process everything that happened to it. you cannot stay healthy if you overwork yourself sweetheart.” however, these comments are not a frequent thing, they usually keep them to themselves since they know you are a fully capable human being who knows their limits (or at least they hope so). thanks to their observing nature they approach most situations like a regular person, only using their knowledgeable medical side if absolutely necessary.

the ones who adore and baby you a lot: joshua, jeonghan, jun, mingyu

now these guys just kind of adore the fact that you need to be taken care of a little bit more carefully than some others, since they have so much love to share and give to you. they are a mix of actions and vocally emphasising what to be wary of, for example you not thinking ahead when doing certain things. “baby I love the idea of dancing in the rain, but it is literally in the middle of the night, you know how the temperature gets. cannot let my baby freeze and catch a bug now, can I?” although they would rather you didn’t get sick it is also not uncommon to see them coo at you day and night when they do need to take you under their protective wings when you are under the weather. “say ah, here comes your soup.” they would spoon-feed you every single time. “next time I will have to wrap you in bubble wrap like a baby so this becomes evitable.” another thing they like to do since they know you tend to get sick easier is wrap you up in winter, seeing the warm layers on you easing their minds knowing that the cold won’t affect you nearly as severely as without them; this way even though they aren’t there with you all the time they can be sure that you are okay.

[vroomvroomwee]

I don't think some of you should be coming down on Aziraphale so hard for his decision and I'm going to point out something not enough people take into consideration.

Just think of the circumstances he was in. He got offered a deal that could fix pretty much every single problem they have and that could consequently make both him and Crowley incredibly happy.

At least that's how he sees it. It all comes crashing down once he realises that that's not what Crowley wants. That it's not that easy for them to have that perfect life. Having that opportunity and then it being ripped right out of his hands. Just look at how giddy he was when he was telling Crowley, after which he straight up went into denial and refusing to listen to what Crowley has to say, because this. would. have. solved. everything.

But... it's not what Crowley wants. And it's not as if he can make him go with him to Heaven (thank god) because he's not that kind of person. He's not possessive or controlling. And more than anything he loves Crowley and up until that moment he had the perfect means to make him happy. And now it's gone.

So not only does he have this earth shattering realisation about Crowley and what he wants he also now has to deal with what he himself wants. Now if anyone knows how it feels to be in such a stressful and agonising dilemma over something, you will probably feel and emphasise with Aziraphale pretty hard in this scene. Because this is where old coping mechanisms start to hit. This is where he falls back on something reliable, something he can trust will make the right decision, and that is his old belief that Heaven is to be obeyed and that it can do no wrong, that is still so ingrained in his instincts and decision making. This is where his trauma comes into play.

And he fights it.

How fucking strong do you have to be to be able to fight your own gut feeling, that has been trained and created for millions of years. He actively tries to tell the Metatron "no" multiple times, shame that the Metatron is a master manipulator and doesn't let him the opportunity, but he still does it nonetheless.

(This is the part I wanted to point out) This boy had to make a life changing decision that would determine how he would spend the rest of eternity itself. And he didn't even have 10 minutes to make it.

He had only minutes to make this decision. Imagine the sheer soul-shattering heart-rending turmoil that has been going on inside him. The sheer panic and dread he was probably feeling.

And despite what millenia of training and what his thoughts and logic were telling him, he still followed his heart, he still chose Crowley... until the Metatron sensed exactly that and told him about the Second Coming.

Well, now that made things much simpler. His happiness or the universe. And he sacrificed himself. Again...

And to top it all off, he had to fucking smile. He has just lost everything he loves, earth, the bookshop, crepes... and Crowley. No. No, it's more than that. After Crowley's confession he realised he lost everything he never even had. Utterly and completely alone. And he cannot dare shed a tear. How. Fucking. Strong. Do you have to be to be able to do that.

[stardew-shitposterino]

The Bachelors and how they’d react if you asked them to start a family

Same old same old. This post is inspired by @babiebom 's post about the bachelor/ettes and how many kids they’d have :3 I’m not really a person who is too keen on children and being a housewife, but I can’t deny that the thought of a picture perfect family does warm my heart, girlies. Enjoy 💅🏻🍼

Some answers are gender specific. I hope to anyone playing the game as a same sex couple that you can look past that 🙏🏻

Sam:

-he’d be boots the house down in total shock

-don’t get it twisted, he is ecstatic, but damn he didn’t expect it to be this soon

-of course he is excited about every life stage of his potential little ones, but he can’t wait to have someone he can teach how to skate

-„really? A-and you’re not joking or anything? RAD!“

-maybe he is a bit too excited as he‘s definitely ripping his pants off his body as soon as the message sunk in

-„Oh you didn’t mean we should start it right now? Sorry my bad 😅“

Sebastian:

-he is happy but can’t really show it

-anxiety is kicking hard rn

-it’s not that he doesn’t want this, but he has so many worries, after all he had lived through himself

-he definitely needs some time to think about this

-„Y/N, I’d really love to have this with you one day, but please give me time to adjust to this. It’s a lot for me to process.“

-he will eventually open up about it and you agree on not rushing things. If you’re an opposite sex couple, you agree on starting a family once you’re pregnant. No planning, just living and if it happens, it happens (it probably happened after like 2 months after you had the talk lol)

Elliott:

-„Heavens, Love! What wonderful news. I’ve been waiting for this moment. This will be the start of our legacy!“ (excuse me bruuuhh this is how I imagine him talk lol)

-he had heart-shaped eyes if you haven’t noticed

-as much as he loves the romance and allure of being a childless couple with a world to their feet, he can’t kick the idea of being a wholesome dad raising a curious child with his wonderful partner

-he emphasises on not rushing things as he doesn’t want you to feel pressure. He knows how stressful your job is so he doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed though you proposed that idea first

-you can bet your ass you went to bed after that talk 👀 WHO SAID THAT 🤨

Harvey:

-he is a blushy mess thank you and amen

-he‘s so anxious but also so excited

-no way you actually proposed this to him. He actually accepted his fate as a childless bachelor

-but here he is, finally getting the happy little family he always wanted

-but it isn’t smooth sailing with him, oh no. You can bet your ass he has to calculate everything through before he feels comfortable enough starting to bring this wish to reality

-you know, you earn a shit ton of money but he is anxious ok. He needs to KNOW the child won’t end up homeless with nothing to wear once it’s here

-“Oh this is all so new and, I-I don’t even know how to say it without it sounding wrong. I just can’t grasp that this is happening. Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming”

-you didn’t sleep with each other that day but a make-out sess was in it. A wholesome one to say the least. This man is wholesome in my books 📕

Shane:

-the only thing missing here is that he fainted and fell to the floor after you popped the question

-say WHAT NOW?!

-no way. He probably heard it wrong. You didn’t just ask HIM to have YOUR children… no wait the other way around. This is what that question did to his brain lol

-or generally having kids together. He isn’t opposed to adopting because he fears the kids will inherit his messed up brain so taking in kids that are in need of a nice, welcoming home doesn’t sound bad either

-but no wait wait back to the topic; he’s a MESS

-he always wanted children and a family in general, the very boring ass white picket fence fantasy is what he longed for but kind of accepted that it’s something he cannot have. Well guess what…HE CAN

-“wait…did you- and you mean with me? Or is there someone else I should know about? Ok sorry bad joke. But you mean it?! Really? A little sibling for Jas🥹”

-just know this burly man started crying a river of joy tears. But once the tears dried and it kicked in 👀

-“ok if we want this to work out we gotta get to business 😎”

Alex:

-like Shane, he waited for this moment

-just he isn’t anxious like some of the others, he straight up jumps for joy lol

-“BABE NO WAY! I’ve been waiting for this!”

-he is a happy crier tho. Expect him to cry a little but in a good way

-but also expect him to propose the question of having a lot more kids in the future. He wants a football team of kids. But the amount is still negotiable of course (you gave him the “spouse stare” which made him go down a notch lol)

- he will babble about what gender the first kid might be, what he’d do with them depending on it and how he’d get them the smallest grid ball jerseys you’ll ever see because “LOOK THEY ARE SO TINY”

-like some of the others, he might be a bit too eager to start the baby project. Even if you can’t conceive yourself, he will live out that fantasy. You prepared yourself for this because it was very much predictable lol

[holybibly]

hmm interesting, (different anon) please can you do san and mingi for that same type of reply. love ur blog btw!

So, bunnies, here is my opinion on San and Mingi. Again, I emphasise that this is my personal opinion and you may not agree with it. That's perfectly normal and natural, we're all entitled to say what we think.

I'll start with San. I will make a separate post for Mingi. First of all, San was the member who made me start following Ateez. I was so amazed by his beauty, and considering I've been in K-pop long enough to remember EXO's debut, that's saying something. I didn't notice the other members at all until a certain point (I'm terribly ashamed of this), as it was this kitty that completely captured my attention.

There was so much magic, exquisite, predatory and almost demonic in it that I could not deny myself. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same at the moment. Lately, the excessive sexualisation of San has begun to bother me. I no longer feel him as himself, but rather as an imposed image of a "sexy guy". I'm also not a big fan of muscles. Of course I will support anything that does make him happy and his pleasure and joy are the most important thing, but if we talk about me, for my taste San was simply in perfect physical shape in the Fireworks era and he looked more natural to me then than now. But! This is just my opinion.

His aura has changed and I think the demonic part that had me in its stranglehold has disappeared a little.

San is definitely a daddy princess, but he is also a dom of pleasure just like Hongjoong. I don't see San as rude or tough, in fact he's a softer boy to me than Wooyoung, for example.

San also gives me very clear toxic boyfriend vibes, I can literally feel it on him, but not in a harsh way, but rather in a caring way. San is suffocating you with his love, he wants to take care of his significant other all the time, he is intrusive, demands attention, possessive and clingy. Emotional connection in sex is also very important to him, he is definitely not a one-night stand.

As far as perversions go, I don't think San has a very long list, for example, I absolutely could not associate him with humiliation or manhandling, he is very respectful and well mannered, I think he is very respectful of women and it is difficult for him to overcome this in himself even during sex.

He is romantic and gentle, quite soft and I might even call him vanilla.

He gives a lot of attention and affection to his partner and your pleasure comes first for him. This doesn't mean that San can't be harsh or treat you more rudely, no, he just doesn't think it's necessary most of the time.

[chaoticgoodthief]

Slay The Princess Ramble

Ok I have been having Thoughts about the Voice of the Contrarian and am not afraid to share them. Will start under read more link because this might get a little long.

Ok, one of the Main Things about the Contrarian is that he doesn't follow the narrative, and I accept this, but I cannot emphasize enough just how Different he is from the other voices.

Ok, let's start at the tip of the iceberg here. Change. Born as counterparts to the Shifting Mound's Princesses, it makes sense that the Voices remain static in their personalities. Broken is submissive. Cold is apathetic. Hunted is animalistic. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. But Contrarian actually changes over the course of The Stranger path. He sees what he's done to the Princess, recognises that it has hurt her, and just ... drops the jester act immediately. The only other Voice that really changes at all is Hero, and that's because he's literally always by your side. And that's not even getting to how you find him Strange Beginnings.

Strange Beginnings. Oh, do I have Feelings about this ending, but I'll focus on just the Contrarian (for now). Out of all the Voices, all the cabins, the Contrarian is the only Voice other than the Hero himself that can join you in the finale. Maybe it's because his change has made him closer to the Shifting Mound than any of the other potential voices. Maybe it's because inside of The Stranger's cabin was the first you saw, rather than the Princess'. Maybe it's something else altogether, I don't know. However, what I do know is that once again, he's changed. He's ... honestly more downtrodden than even the Moment of Clarity version of himself. Only making jokes when he notices Hero's concern, accepting the knife without a second thought, (even calling himself the worst part of the Long Quiet in the most recent update, I've heard). But that's still not the end of things.

I think what interests me the most about Contrarian, though, is his relationship with the princess. He. Does. Not. Have. One. She is a literal stranger to him. He is not the Stranger's true counterpart, not really. Nothing about him contradicts her, unlike how all the other Voices have been named after their actions relative to their Part I Princesses. Instead, he is the Contrarian because he contradicts the Narrator. I can not emphasise enough how wild that makes my brain go. Because it explains SO MUCH about why he's Different from the others. Long Quiet is a foil for the Shifting Mound, his Voices are foils for her Princesses. Everything about them is static, unchanging. Because they are a single being, spiralling further into itself with every decision you make, only ever changing if you refuse to follow the path set out for you. And then there's him, the reflection of an echo of a mortal. (If he was there in the Spectre route, would she see him as something Other as well, something that once belonged but has been fragmented off of its given path).

Gah I'm obsessed with him. I want to dissect him for science. I want to tear and rip and pull him apart until I can understand what mysteries still hide behind the facade he shows the world. What are you hiding, you smiling little freak of nature?

[lorre-verie]

₊˚ʚ ᗢ. ᴛʀᴜᴛʜ ᴏʀ ᴅᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴛ. ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

aka, the chapter where shit really goes down (i CANNOT emphasise this enough)

the unfortunate pair: ao’nung x fem! sully! reader

chapter summary: after experiencing so many issues with your health (and beating the crap out of Ao’nung), a relaxing visit to the spirit tree was exactly what you needed. Or is it? In the end, you and Ao’nung have a bit too much fun with each other, considering your shared hatred.

warnings: mentions of death, cussing (somewhere here), fighting, crying, idk, sad stuff

word count: 6k

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | masterlist 

“Y/N? Can you hear me?” 

“I think she’s waking up.”

“Y/N, please don’t die!!”

You slowly opened your eyes to the muffled voices that surrounded you. Your body jolted forward, head spinning, still feeling like you were trapped inside the deep blue. 

“Woah woah woah, slow down, tiger.”

You felt a pair of hands steady you by your shoulders; your dad. 

A gentle hand rested on your back; your mother. 

You could hear tiny sniffles as you tried to make sense of what was going around you; Tuk.

The world was becoming more comprehensible with each breath you took, so you focused on that. Chilly hands shaking, you placed them on your face to wake yourself up, fingers delicately massaging your eyelids. 

“That’s it, princess, come back to us.” your father half-whispered, his warm hands still planted firmly on your shoulders like if he let you go, you’d start levitating. 

You blinked a few times, looking at your entire family staring at you in a rather spacious tent. You were laying in a hammock. The strong scent of herbs wafted in the air, you could almost taste them on your tongue. It seemed that you were in the metkayina’s healer tent. 

You heard Kiri’s voice somewhere behind you, “Do you need anything?” her words echoed in your brain. 

You opened your mouth, rubbing your temples. “He..hejolum,” you managed to utter, “please.”

note: hejolum is a concoction I completely made up and used for curing dizziness and nausea.

A slight pause ensued, but was followed shortly by the sounds of Kiri rummaging through the herbs to make the mixture. 

“How are you feeling?” Neteyam asked softly. He was next to your mother, Lo’ak behind him. “I think I’m good,” you responded a little bit hesitantly. 

“What happened?” your voice picked up its volume, you were finding the strength to move the rest of your body. 

Neteyam and Lo’ak shared a look. Kiri walked up behind you with a warm bowl of a greenish liquid, tapping your chin for you to open it. 

“I can drink that myse–” She disregarded your words and started pouring the liquid down your throat as you opened your mouth, and you nearly choked and spat it all out. When you were done, you gave her a sharp glare. 

“That’s what you get for requesting hejolum instead of fyorl leaves.” she smiled innocently, putting the bowl away in a corner. You wondered if she even got permission from Ronal to start using her herbs, but you didn’t feel like bringing it up. 

“Hejolum is more effective!” you scrunched your eyebrows together. “Yeah, but fyorl leaves work just as fine and I don’t have to work for it,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky you had a near-death experience, or I’d be shoving those leaves down your throat right about now.”

Your ears perked up at ‘near death experience’. Memories of the purple shell and your struggle flashed through your mind like a really badly put-together slideshow. And then it dawned on you. 

“Who brought me here?” you looked at Neteyam. His hesitancy to answer said it all. 

You hopped off the hammock quickly, your body almost toppling over. “Hey, hey, easy! You still need to rest!” your father called out to you, but you were already sprinting away in search of Ao’nung. 

Neytiri sighed next to him. As he watched you stumble over yourself, Jake couldn’t help but feel a small grin make its way up onto his face. 

“She’s definitely her father’s daughter.” he smirked, earning a groan from your mother.

You didn’t know why, exactly, you were running. You just knew you wanted to thank him for saving your life. 

It felt exhilarating to feel the wind in your hair and the sand beneath your toes, and you ran to where you usually saw Ao’nung hanging around, slowing your steps. 

The broad leaves of the trees swayed with the soothing breeze, and you slipped in between the dense foliage, just so that in case you did find Ao’nung you could surprise him and make him yelp. A mischievous grin appeared on your face as you thought about it. 

And then you heard voices. They were laughing, and you recognised his deep tone among the others. You quickly headed left, towards where you could hear them. 

Weaving in between the trees, you finally spotted them. You hid behind a tree that was thicker and taller than the others, listening to their conversation. Just because. 

“Wait, did you guys hear something?” a boy that had similar hair as Rotxo said in between their laughter.

“You’re being delusional.” Ao’nung chuckled, but his head turned to see if anyone was there. You didn’t show any signs of life, even going as far as to hold your breath. 

“You’re the one being delusional. Do you like that girl now?” another friend of his commented. You assumed that he was talking about you, because everyone thought you two were interested in each other. 

But still, you wanted to hear what he was going to say. His friends jeered at him, one of them mimicking kissy faces. You gagged at the thought. 

“No way,” his tone was one of disgust. “I wouldn’t like that freak even if the fate of the world depended on it.”

You felt a sudden emptiness in your chest at those words. 

“Their whole family is a bunch of freaks, I’m going to be honest.” 

Your fingers curled inwards, your thumb pressed tightly against your palm. Your breathing became shallow as he went on. 

“And did you see how temperamental the girl is? She’s a pain in the ass to deal with,” he laughed.

Your blood was boiling. 

That fucking, 

bitch. 

Before you knew it, your arms and legs were moving on their own, hoisting you up on the tree. You made your way up on top of the tree, not caring for the way the bark dug into your palms, scratching up your hands, as his friends laughed at his remarks, his insults towards your siblings and you. 

You crouched on top of the thick broad leaves, balancing yourself with your hands and your feet planted on the section where the branch separated into leaf. 

One of his friends looked up and saw you, making eye contact. He backed up and ran without a word, making everyone else confused. 

The other two looked up and Ao’nung continued to talk shit, even mocking you and your brother. “Ao’nung–” the rotxo-looking one gasped. 

“And can you believe it? They’re such slow learners!”

“Ao’nung!” the other one hissed. 

“And– What?” he looked confused, before looking up to see what his friends were looking at. His eyes widened in horror, he didn’t even have time to react as you pounced on him from above, knocking him down onto the dirt.

His pathetic little crew ran for the hills as you delivered a hard punch to his face, an absolutely deranged look in your eye. He fought to get you off his body but to no avail, and the only thing he could do was scream bloody murder.

You thrashed and clawed at his skin, the feeling of something wet flowing underneath your nose making you stop abruptly, and the distinct red of blood tinted your fingertips when you wiped on the spot above your lips.

The skxawng beneath you took the opportunity to try and push you off him, but you bit his arm in retaliation and he yelped in pain.  

“You’re CRAZY–”

You were laying down on top of your sleeping bag in your marui, playing with your hair in between your fingers as your father paced around angrily. His heavy steps as he scolded you were the only thing you were even processing, too busy thinking about the million different methods you could use to murder that two faced donk–

“Are you even listening to me right now?” he groaned, the wrinkles on his forehead were more prominent now than ever. 

“Mhm. You can’t attack people for no reason, why would you do that, I’m growing old and I can’t see the brave sacrifice and revolutionary importance of what my daughter did for her family,” you listed, mimicking his low gruff voice.

“Princess, you know I hate having these kinds of talks with you,” he sighed, crouching down next to you, and you let go of your hair, crossing your arms to look at him.

The small sound of something dropping to the ground came from outside, and you both turned your heads in the direction of the source. “Lo’ak! Don’t touch anything you aren’t supposed to!” he shouted. 

More sounds of rummaging and a faint “damn it, how’s it he always knows?” followed, before silence returned. 

You turned your heads back to each other. 

“But it’s vital. You’re my daughter and I care about what you do. And anyway, I’m not the one you should be afraid of.” he raised his eyebrows, shaking his head. You frowned, realising what he was implying.

“Your mom is gonna freak out, I’m telling you. And I suppose that’s punishment enough for you.” he ruffled your hair with his hand, winking as if to say good luck, I can’t save you as he picked himself up, leaving through the flap of the marui. 

Your mother stepped inside, and your ears flattened. You knew how she was when she was angered. You got up quickly as she walked to you. 

“Are you hurt?” she asked, her eyes searching your body for any sign of injuries. You shook your head no, ignoring the fact your palms had tiny cuts on them. 

“Good. Now tell me why you did that to the boy.” she looked into your eyes patiently. 

“He called our family freaks, he mocked 'Teyam's accent, he said Kiri’s nose looked weird, he said dad looks 30 years older than he actually is,” you went on, listing every scathing comment he said about your family, your mother’s face either morphing into one of outrage or shock after each thing.

“And…yeah that’s it I think.” 

“So you beat him?” 

“...yes.”

“How?”

“Well I climbed a tree, and then I jumped down from the tree onto him, knocking him down, then I punched his face and then bit his arm when he tried to slap me off–”

“He tried to slap you??” she fumed.

“Yeah, and then I kicked him in the crotch before Neteyam pushed me back,” you said with a matter-of-factly tone, shrugging. You left out the part where you got a random nosebleed in the middle of the fight. After all, it was probably because you were just so enraged by Ao’nung’s stupidity.

She angled her head upwards, not saying anything for a few moments. You heard a cough from outside. 

“I am very disappointed in you,” she said loudly, but with the hint of a prideful smile on her face. Pulling you into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to your forehead, she whispered ‘play along’.

“You have disgraced our family and I hope that you understand the severity and the consequences of your actions, Y/N.” Her tone of voice was ruthless, but the look on her face said otherwise. 

You put on your best fake pout, “But–” 

“No buts.” she crossed her arms, still smirking. 

“See, Y/N? What did I tell you?” your father sauntered in, playing the good cop once more. He walked up behind your mother, rubbing her back reassuringly. “Don’t worry, my love. You don’t have to get so mad at her, she’s only a child.” 

Neytiri rolled her eyes lightheartedly when he wasn’t looking at her, causing you to desperately hold back a smile that was fighting its way to your face. 

“But,” your father said pointedly, “you must go and apologise to the boy.” 

“What?” you uncrossed your arms, staring wide-eyed with your mouth hanging open. 

“You heard me. Go find him, and apologise. You can’t be on bad terms with the olo’eyktan’s son, especially when half of the village already hates us.” he stated, hands still around your mother’s shoulders. 

You knew it was no use to fight him against it, so you let out an exaggerated sigh and slumped your way to find the dumbass. As you left, your mother turned to your father. “You were right.”

He looked at her, one eyebrow raised. 

“She really is her father’s daughter,” she laughed, remembering when her mate beat up Tsu’tey (may he rest in Eywa’s arms). Jake looked down, slightly ashamed. 

It wasn’t fair at all. Not the slightest bit. He was the one that spewed all that goddamned nonsense about your family, and you were the one that needed to apologise? 

“He had it coming.” you huffed to no one but yourself, kicking the sand as you “tried” to find Ao’nung. (You were hoping you would just never catch sight of him.)

To your utter surprise, he was also slugging his way across the sand in the direction of your marui, with the exact same sour look on his face. Your eyes met, and you both begrudgingly moved within arm-length of each other.

His face was absolutely beaten, his right eye with a huge bruise around it. There was a bloody scratch on his lip and as you glanced down you noticed the marks of your teeth still near his wrist.  

Damn, you really messed him up. 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, looking down to not have to look at his face anymore. Cause if you did, you’d just look at his black eye the whole time. 

He crossed his arms, sighing “I’m sorry as well. I got an earful about it from my mom and she said I deserved it.”

You pressed your lips in a thin line to avoid smiling, but he saw right through it. “Ha ha, very funny,” he rolled his eyes, continuing. “Your siblings are invited to visit our spirit tree tomorrow night. You can’t not go.” 

“The spirit tree?” you half gasped half shouted. 

“Yes, little forest imp. Do you need your ears checked? If so, I can bring my mother over to have a look.” he smirked, tilting his head to the left in the same manner he always did.

You wanted to hold him against his previous actions, but you thought it was better to forget about it. But if he ever did that shit again, he wouldn’t walk out of the fight with just a black eye. 

You turned around, flipping him off as you walked away. “Bye, shit piñata!” A big smile tugged at the corner of your mouth as you imagined his offended look. Oh, how stupid he would look.

The scrumptiously delicious smell of food drifted through the air as you arrived back home, and ducking under the flap of the marui you could see dinner was ready, and your family already sitting down in their places. 

Neytiri smiled at you as you came in, gesturing for you to sit in your usual place next to Neteyam. It had only been around 3 weeks since you’d moved to Awa’atlu, but you were already addicted to the food. 

“How’d it go?” your older twin asked. Lo’ak and Kiri looked at you expectantly, hoping you’d say you beat him up again. 

“It went alright. We had a normal, civilised conversation.”

Kiri groaned and Lo’ak slapped one side of his face, Jake clicking his tongue for them to silence themselves. 

Your mother nodded and took hold of your father's and Tuk's hands, signalling for everyone to join in prayer. As all hands interlocked with one another, Neytiri started,

“Great Mother Eywa, we offer our gratitude for the bountiful meal that we are about to share. As we partake in this meal, we ask for your continued blessings and protection for ourselves, our loved ones, and all living beings on this planet. May this food provide us with the strength and energy to carry out your will and serve our purpose in this life.”

As she finished, Lo’ak quickly rubbed his hands together and started scarfing down his food. Neteyam side-eyed him judgmentally, secretly wondering how they came from the same parents. 

In between bites, you realised you almost forgot to tell everyone about the invitation. “Oh, guys.” you cleared your throat. “We’ve been invited to see the spirit tree tomorrow.” you looked towards your siblings, and Kiri’s eyes lit up immediately.

“At the cove of ancestors?” she said, mouth full of food. You nodded, and she slapped her palm over her mouth. “Hey that should be fun,” your dad smiled, nodding. 

“Can I also go?” Tuk looked up at you with hopeful eyes. 

“Of course, Tuk, all of us are going.” 

The next day, you, your siblings, Tsireya and Rotxo set off on your little journey on your ilus to see the spirit tree. Ao’nung and you are doing what you do best; annoying the crap out of each other and everyone around you both. 

Even while on an ilu, Ao’nung moved with a swagger like he was superior to everyone else, annoying the hell out of you. Snide remarks were exchanged constantly during the trip when you were above the water, which made everyone hold their breath for as long as they possibly could handle. 

But despite his annoying habits, you found yourself strangely attracted to him. There was just something about his confidence that made your heart race the slightest bit faster when you were around him (and when he kept his mouth shut). 

You weren’t sure if it was just the adrenaline from the constant bickering or if there was something…. more.

“You always have that dumb look in your eye like you think you’re invincible.” you scoffed, sending Ao’nung the next round of insults. He shook his head, looking down with a smile as Neteyam sighed behind you two, exhausted. “Honestly, it’s cute.”

His gaze flicked up to you almost immediately. You swore there was the smallest amount of purple dusted across his cheeks, causing you to double-take. But it was gone. 

“But not as cute and positively pathetic as your feeble attempts to fight back,” a subtle, but unmistakable smile of satisfaction spread across your face as if you had reached the punch line of a stand-up comedy act.

“What can I say? You’re a challenge I can’t resist.”

At this, your head whipped towards his direction. But he dove beneath the water, leaving nothing but bubbles on the surface of the sea in his wake. 

“Oh my god. That was disgusting,” Kiri practically sobbed behind you, Tuk agreeing as your hand clasped your mouth, unable to fully process what the frog had just said to you. 

Can’t resist? Does that have some other meaning behind it? Why’d he have to SAY IT LIKE THAT? Was he teasing you on purpose? Holy jesus fuckballs. 

Shaking it off, you dipped underneath the water with your ilu. There were rocks with plants growing on them suspended in the water, unmoving. You weaved in between them, ducking underneath a larger one and following Tsireya’s lead.

As you resurfaced, you audibly gasped at the beauty of the cove. “We are here,” she smiled warmly. “This is the cove of the ancestors. Our most sacred place.” she turned, watching as you and your siblings held your breaths in awe. 

It was glorious, like nothing you’d ever seen before, much like the rest of Awa’atlu. A huge almost circular structure protruded out of the beautiful blue water, towering over you all. 

“Eclipse is the best time of day to be here.” she stated as the light slowly dissipated, you needing to shield your eyes from the sight momentarily. The darkness engulfed the sky, leaving almost no light source except a giant brightly glowing flower-like plant underneath the water as you approached.

“This is it. This is the spirit tree,” Tsireya gestured, looking happily at Kiri’s overjoyed face. You gawked at the centre of the tree, which beamed with an intense glow. 

The metkayinan siblings dived in first, the rest of you following shortly after. What seemed to be the glowing leaves of the spirit tree were absolutely huge, they were bigger than Ao’nung himself. The metkayinans gestured for you all to grab your queues and make the connection; but you stayed floating, watching the others make their bonds. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder; it was Ao’nung. He motioned and pointed at your queue. You shook your head. 

He rolled his eyes, using sign language. You deserve to experience it too.

You tilted your head. And you?

I’ve already experienced this a lot of times. Go, he insisted, not wanting to reveal the true reason for his actions, and you smiled to yourself, excited.

As you made your way to one of the huge fronds of the tree, he still couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his stomach that something horrible was going to happen. 

He stayed put, watching everyone intently, subconsciously looking your way more often than the others. 

All of a sudden, the spirit tree’s leaves started shaking, the lights flashing violently. Everyone was ripped out of their moment bonding with Eywa, all except you. The bioluminescent freckles all around your body blazed with light, your body trembling uncontrollably.

Ao’nung immediately pushed his way through the water to you, disconnecting your queue and pulling you up to the surface, Neteyam and the rest of your siblings close behind. His heart pounded vehemently against his chest, looking at your unconscious body as he pulled you onto his ilu. 

“What’s happening??” Tuk cried, trying to reach for your hand. “Is she breathing?” Neteyam asked in a panic. 

Ao’nung bent his ear to your nose, praying desperately that you were. He heard your staggered breaths, trying to gather the lost information in his brain of what his mother taught him.

“She’s having a seizure,” his eyes widened in recognition. “We need to get her to my mother, now,” he snarled, taking off on his ilu immediately. 

Ronal could not find any spiritual fault with you or find a way to wake you up, as everything she tried had failed. Your father had no choice but to call Norm and Max all the way from the forest, and it took them an incredibly painstaking full night to arrive. 

Your whole family waited anxiously, your father kneeling down next to you on the mat as Norm and Max did their thing. “Alright, I’m seeing from her brain scan that it was, in fact, a seizure. But the thing is,” he paused, looking at Jake.

“What? What is it?”

“That’s not the only thing we found that didn’t look right.” he looked at your peacefully sleeping body nervously. 

“The state she’s in right now is some kind of defense mechanism from her body because she doesn’t have the energy to fully function right now. But this injection can help her.” he gestured towards the tiny needle that Max was administering into your veins.

“She’ll regain consciousness soon, but Jake, there’s something seriously wrong–” “Please, get to the point.” your father croaked, he hated seeing you this way. 

“Defense mechanism? Wha… What kind of defense mechanism is that? Is that normal?” he asked, worry laced in his words. 

“No. This is some kind of reaction from the mixed DNA she has. She’s part avatar and part na’vi, which means she’s part human as well. Somewhere in there.” Norm explained. 

Your dad’s ears flattened as he heard that his own genes could be one of the reasons that you were suffering right now, and he looked at Norm expectantly, to keep going. 

“I took a sample from her DNA, and it’s not looking good.”

He showed Jake the tablet he had in his hands. “See that?” he zoomed into one of the strands of your DNA, pulling the digital version of your gene out to inspect it. “That singular gene right there is one that increases the risk of cancer. Specifically, leukemia.” 

“Leu- Leukemia??” Jake rubbed his hands against his face in distress. “She has leukemia?”

“..Not quite. The na’vi genes she has directly interfere with that, and if she does have leukemia, it somehow causes a mutation of some type of disease similar to cancer, running through the blood. But we need to ask her if she’s been having any symptoms.”

“If she’s been having symptoms, there’s an extremely high chance she has it. We can’t take a blood sample right now because she’s too weak. So, that’s our only option.”

“Oh.” Jake thought for a while, looking at the woven floor of the marui, trying to remember if you’d brought up any problems with your health. Besides the fever, he couldn’t think of anything that couldn’t be explained with some other reason. 

“I think she’ll be fine, right? She hasn’t said anything about any issues,” he said, trying to calm down his own heart. 

“Well, then there’s nothing to be worried about, pal.” Norm nodded, slapping Jake’s back and rubbing it reassuringly.

At that moment, your eyes fluttered open, and it felt like you’d been hit by an ikran flying at full speed. “She’s waking up,” Max said.

As the world came into focus (felt like deja vu), you were able to make out the blurred silhouettes of your father and Max and Norm’s avatar. 

“Hey princess, how are you feeling?” Jake smiled, gently shoving Max away, looking down at you. 

“Where..where am I?” you muttered, lifting up your hands and putting them in front of your face.

Outside the marui, Neteyam and Lo’ak were sitting in front of the entryway playing with the iPad Norm brought over for them, tasked to ward away trespassers. 

“No, you skxawng, press ‘O’!” Neteyam hissed, trying to take the iPad from Lo’ak’s hands. “I’m trying, bro! Stop pulling! These weren’t made for na’vi fingers!” he retaliated, his grip on the device tight. 

As they played tug-of-war with the considerably delicate piece of technology, Ao’nung walked to them. “Hey. Move, will you?” he crossed his arms, head tilted downwards. “Go away, shit piñata.” Lo’ak grumbled, trying to slap Neteyam’s grubby not-so-little hands away from their pride and joy. 

Ao’nung exhaled sharply, raising a leg to try and get past the two fighting brothers. “Hey! No entry!” Neteyam stopped his leg with his hand, pushing it back onto the sand and successfully nabbing the iPad from Lo’ak. “Give that back, idiot!”

“Let me through.” Ao’nung insisted, practically pleading. On a normal occasion, Lo’ak would’ve made fun of him for how desperate he was being. But this was not a normal occasion. An iPad was within his grasp for the first time in weeks, and he wasn’t about to let his stinky older brother ruin it all. 

“You aren’t family. Get lost!” Lo’ak grumbled, waving him away before putting Neteyam into a headlock. 

He huffed, walking away. “Tch. Watch me become part of your family, skxawng.” he scowled, as Kiri and Tuk ran past him, intent on getting to the iPad.

Of course, he was referring to Lo’ak and his younger sister. No other implications. 

You sipped the water from the cup Norm handed to you, sitting up straight. “Now, I’m going to ask you a few questions, alright?” Norm smiled, pulling out his tablet to write on. You nodded slowly. 

“Have you been getting any fevers?” 

One nod.

“Any unnatural fatigue?”

Two nods. You should have been able to handle the dive. It really wasn’t as deep as Ao’nung made it out to be.

“Lost any weight recently? Wait no, you guys don’t weigh yourselves here, sorry. Any nosebleeds?”

Three nods.

“Okay.” Norm’s gaze was starting to feel a bit unsettling. “Have you..coughed up blood? By any chance?”

You remembered the time you were training with Veyä. Four nods. 

Your dad looked at you accusingly, wondering why on earth you didn’t say anything.

His eyes darted between you, Jake and the tablet nervously. “You said…she’s been paler than other na’vi ever since she was a kid?” 

Jake’s heart sank deep into his chest. At first, he couldn't fully comprehend what his friend was implying. But as the reality set in, his lips parted in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His little girl, his precious 15-year-old daughter, had been living with chronic leukemia for a decade without anyone noticing.

The weight of the realisation was absolutely soul-crushing. His mind raced back to all the times he had brushed off symptoms as normal childhood illnesses. The knowledge that he carried the gene that increased the risk of leukemia only added to his guilt.

As you looked at him puzzledly, not a clue as to what was going on, his whole world fell apart. He struggled to keep his composure as the pain tightened his throat. Tears streamed down his face as he tried to process what this meant for his family. The wonderfully bright and happy future that he had imagined for his eldest daughter was now uncertain.

Norm looked at the horror-stricken look on his friend’s face. He inhaled, and Max brought up Jake’s arm, pulling him up to bring him to the other corner of the marui, where you couldn’t hear them.

Norm gave you a sad smile. “Wait here, we’re going to talk about something for a bit.” Five nods. 

“There’s- There’s gotta be treatment right?” Jake stuttered.

“I’m so sorry, Jake.” Norm sighed, looking down. There was nothing more he could do for you. 

“What? There’s gotta be something you can do!” 

“We aren’t sure if normal cancer treatment would even work. Her illness combined with the na’vi genes mixed into it- It would be super risky to even try anything. We don’t have the equipment or the knowledge, and this has never, ever happened before, Jake.”

Tears started welling up in his eyes. “So- She’s just going to die?” The silence they gave him as they looked at them with pity in their eyes, it broke him.

His little girl. His first daughter, his princess. He couldn’t protect you from this. How was he going to tell the rest of the family? What would be the reactions on their faces? Most importantly, what would you think?

You had a flame that blazed brightly in your soul just like his and your mothers, you were their family’s first troublemaker. For it to be extinguished so soon, for such a reason as a terminal illness,

it was unimaginable.

Upon your family hearing the news, it felt like the world was ending.

Truly. 

Neteyam had his head in his hands, tears falling down to his lap. 

Kiri had a hand over her mouth and nose to prevent her violent sobs from reaching anyone else’s ears. 

Lo’ak looked at you in horror, still unable to believe what he’d just heard. 

Tuk was already crying, hugging Jake tightly.

And your mother. She was a mess. Her pupils constricted, her hands tangled in her hair. She tried not to scream, the only thing coming out of her mouth was an ached, hoarse whisper. 

And then there was you. 

Head tilted down, looking at the floor, you sat curled up in a ball as Neteyam went to embrace you in a hug. 

Your life was ending so soon. Just around one year left, they said. 

But to your own surprise, you weren’t sad.

You were motivated. 

That night, you were left alone in the marui to your own thoughts. You played your favourite happy song on the speakers that Norm graciously gifted you with before they left. You scribbled in na’vi a few things on a piece of paper. 

Someone walked in through the flap, and you craned your head to see who it was. Ao’nung. “Hey. You alright? I was wondering where you were,” he rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. 

(recommended time to play I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston, at just 4 clicks of volume (put your volume all the way down and then turn it up by pressing the button 4 times), think of it as background music, or u can put on any fun happy song suitable for dancing to)

You looked at him silently, putting the piece of paper away. “I noticed a distinct lack of spears to my throat today,” he continued.

Ah. He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t know. “Why? Did you miss me?” you smirked, getting up from the floor and brushing yourself off. A lightbulb popped into your head, the song playing in the background giving you a gloriously fun idea. 

“What is that? Sky people contraptions? Is that- supposed to be music??” Ao’nung looked behind you, bewildered. You snickered at his reaction to the alien technology and noise, kneeling down to the speakers and turning them up. (recommended time to turn the music up as much as u want)

You walked up to him and leaned in, dangerously close to Ao’nung, and gazed up at him with an intense yet playful look. Your eyes sparkled mischievously as you locked eyes.

With a sudden burst of confidence, you leaned even closer, noses almost touching. Your lips curved into a sly smile as you watched his ears turn the faintest purple.

You pulled away, but only slightly, maintaining a tantalisingly close distance. You looked up at him with a normal gaze, as if nothing had just happened, before uttering the words, "Dance with me."

“What?” 

“Dance with me. Come on!” you pulled his arm into the center of the marui as the chorus began, and the energy of the song pumping through your veins and causing you to dance, uncaring for the horrified expression on his face. 

Your movements were outlandish to him, he’d never seen anyone dance this way before. Not to mention the incredibly strange music.

But the way you danced happily without a care in the world amused him, and not in a condescending way. He felt himself smile as you twirled and lip-synced to the lyrics that the singer was saying. 

He couldn’t understand it at all, but he felt his heart soar somewhat when you motioned for him to join you. 

But he wasn’t a dancer. So he looked on as your arms lifted high above your head, your movements fluid and graceful as if you were in your own world, dancing with reckless abandon. You moved closer to him, lifting his arm up and twirling under it. 

You only laughed as the song ended, looking at him. “Looks fun doesn’t it? You should join me.” you smiled at him. A genuine smile. 

“I don’t dance.” he crossed his arms.

“Oh come on, I’ll teach you!”

“There’s really no need for that–”

You pulled his arms, hands interlocking with yours as the next song on your playlist (Love on Top - Beyoncé or anything u want) started up. “I love this song!” you looked at him. “Just feel the rhythm. Freestyle it. I won’t laugh, I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, forest imp.” he rolled his eyes. But he couldn’t deny it, the song’s beat was irresistible. 

“Move your feet, at least.” you beamed, your movement as your hands still held onto each other tightly affecting his own. He begrudgingly moved his feet to the beat of the song. 

“That’s it, let loose!” you laughed, and it sounded like an angel’s call to him.

As it turns out, you weren’t so annoying when you were having fun. 

As the night passed and Ao’nung left after you guys had a little dance competition, you crawled over to your sleeping bag, pulling out the lone piece of paper from underneath.

You crossed out the first thing that you listed.

Bucket List! 

Dance with a partner to my favourite song.

Drink alcohol

Go on your first date

Have a sleepover with my friends and siblings

Karaoke night

Have my first kiss 

Receive an oshalia flower 

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | masterlist 

Important Fun Fact!

An oshalia flower is any flower that comes from the family Oshalia (made up by me, again), which is beautifully stunning and a commonly used way on Pandora to express interest in courting someone. Remember this for later. 

YAYYY omg i finally finished this, it's the longest chapter by far! I really hope you enjoyed this u guys! Like PLEASEE i hope its good and that i didn’t make any mistakes bro 😭 thank you so so so much for everyone’s support on this series, it’s really motivated me to keep it going.  anyhow, i wonder which parts of the bucket list will be completed and which ones wont? well, all in due time, i suppose.

Taglist: @eywas-heir @elegantkidfansoul @yeosxxx @whoreforpomegranates @fanboyluvr @thecrazyswamp @shkudss @stvrligghtt @ratchetprime211 @dearstelll @littlecrisisworld @itssomeonereading @goodiesinthecloset21 @ilovejakesullysdick @larkkyoris @opalescentblog @lovedbychoi @plzfeedmebread @holysaladapricothero @arminsgfloll @lovekeeho @evans-bitch

note: usernames in red are the ones I couldn’t tag

[vermilionsun]

Hi, can I request nsfw headcanons for mhin pls and thank you

Hello hello! Glad you requested this. Food is served :)

Disclaimer! Once again, I will not be specifying what Mhin has down there. Use your imagination <3

Mhin

aka the birb inside a fishcage-

🕊 To begin with, I will go against the popular belief that Mhin’s a freak in the sheets; In my h̶o̶r̶n̶y̶ humble opinion, they’re much more quiet and reserved.

🕊 Fingering With that said, fingering is one of the casual things they enjoy in this area. Lay them back gently or set them firmly on your lap and explore their insides. They’ll be shaking in no time.

🕊 Oral Please PLEASE suck them. Pull their thighs above your shoulder and go at them. Expect them to grab your head and guide you.

🕊 Hair-pulling I can see them enjoying casual hair–pulling from both parties. Their lover’s hands gripping their hair as they make eye contact and forcing Mhin to arch their back or Mhin roughly pulling them in for a kiss.

🕊 Praise Honestly, if you’re up for any kind of talking during sex, praising them will get you the most points in the hate—affection scale. Grab them softly, rub on their curves and kiss them on the base of their neck while whispering sweet nothings to them. For the love of Eridia’s God(s) do not degrade them. Mhin’s already struggling with self-hate and I think humiliating them further would just upset them more, directly or not.

🕊 Partially clothed/Fabrics Listen, Mhin enjoying being amidst different types of fabrics feels just right. Whether the fabrics have to do with the surface they’re sprawled across or them being wrapped around Mhin’s slender frame doesn’t matter to them much. Satin, linen, cotton, silk — as long as they're soft to the touch, Mhin is in their element.

🕊 Edging Denying them their much–anticipated orgasm has two outcomes that come consecutively; confused blinking and frowning. If you try to pull that a second time, they’ll groan and urge you to continue. By the third time, they’re getting frustrated and almost pleading.

🕊 Mutual masturbation Bring that up and look at their cheeks turning redder than their eyes. The best scenario though would be Mhin being caught touching themselves (which they wouldn't be caught dead doing) and their partner urging them to continue as they start doing the same.

🕊 Multiple orgasms Do I even need to explain this one? They got the stamina, so they might as well continue until they’re satisfied.

🕊 Ice They will shiver and squirm, might whine too because yes their body temperature is usually low but not below zero?!

🕊 E Y E C O N T A C T Hear me out; I cannot emphasise enough how much it means to them. If they’re in a serious romantic relationship and pants are going down, happen they meet their lover’s eyes it’s on. Despite their eyelids fluttering close every now and again, Mhin will try to catch their partner’s eyes no matter what.

🕊 Crying Due to their curse, their body’s limitations are beyond human comparison, rivalling ones of a monster. That’s to say, they’re not one to cry of physical pain or injury. So, if Mhin happens to cry during sex, it means they finally felt safe to be vulnerable after a long long time s̶i̶n̶c̶e̶ ̶L̶o̶v̶e̶n̶t̶ and it’s not something to be dismissed.

🕊 Dumbification HEAR ME OUT I BEG YOU. Sometimes, when thinking, acting, living becomes too much or too bothersome, an escape is needed and rarely for Mhin that means getting fucked until they’re no longer able to think (one of the reasons they got down with Leander in the first place).

🕊 Aftercare Depends on how tired they are. Usually, a nice shower and cuddles until they fall asleep are what they need. If a talk is needed, it can wait until the morning—and no, they won’t wake up in the middle of the night to leave, they’ve come this far with their lover, after all (unless you’re Leander).

[errorscriber]

what lies beneath the facade? an observation of kazui mukuhara's face

my attempt on trying to analyze kazui's feelings! (not sure if this has been pointed out yet im sorry if someone made a similar post. this post has very, VERY brief/minor discussion of sui btw)

im sure we all know by now that this is kazui's true feelings about his marriage; he hates it, and shows a self deprecating smile to the audience. i think, that the right side of his face where his bangs are longer is where kazui shows his true feelings to us. im gonna put some scenes where i think it's the most damning (while there are other pics I think applies, they may look like im reaching a little, so I won't share those). this is why in some scenes in half/Cat, you may notice that Kazui's expression can look unnatural where this observation is at play.

hell, even in the Cat album cover here, he covers the side of his face where his bangs are longer. this man is trying his best not to show anyone what he really feels. letting the door itself do the talking, so why should he? signifying that he at least, cannot wait what to show Milgram, to show us, what secrets are behind that door. (but also channeling an air of uncertainty doing so)

as well as in Undercover, i think it's very interesting that the creators make it a point to show both halves of kazui. when his mugshot gets taken, both of his sides are shown to us. one where he's smiling, and one where he's not. notice how his left side is where he's grinning and his right side is where he's serious?

we only catch his serious expression with one glimpse before he realizes he's being observed and quickly shows us a smile. (then during that scene where they show us which location correlates to which prisoner, the light is shining on the right side of his body. also, kazui is the only prisoner where they show both of his side profiles. the others show 3/4 of their faces)

before i continue, thank you so much for reading in advance!! >_< anyways keep marching on and keep reading this cool post of mine!

more pictures where they emphasise on his "right" being his true self in Cat, where his eyes are shown on the start and end.

half:

when I took a closer look at these images... was kazui more unhappy being around the long haired woman Vs him and his wife?

left is kazui with his wife, right is kazui with the long haired woman

this next one really gets me a lot. the most clear cut observation that tells us the other half of his face is where he expresses his true self.

he tears up for one split second, a ball of teardrop forming on his eye. what was something on that stage that made him so emotional?

then he quickly looks away to see something else catching his attention (which was the apple) after he stood up and looked forwards, kazui genuinely looks shocked/surprised.

knowing this observation can also give us a different perspective to some other scenes in half. like this one:

his wife touching his right side of his face. multiple questions pop up in my head when i see this scene.

was she ready to hear kazui out? was she catching onto him that he was hiding a secret/hiding his feelings? or was she trying to comfort that side of his face, as if she was saying "whatever it is you want to tell me, im sure i can handle it." to him?

hinako tries to understand him. tries to "grasp" his true face, his "true self". but kazui can only give a weak, depressing grin, as he gently puts her palm away, balling his fingers around hers. he doesn't know if she's actually ready for it. even though she's gentle with how she holds his "true side".

as we all know, before they zoomed in to this shot of kazui putting her hand down, their silhouettes were blurry. if you weren't close enough, you almost thought she was choking and suffocating him. not only kazui felt like the marriage made him feel like he was in a rut, he was afraid of hinako "suffocating"/disliking his true feelings (or side), even though she is holding it with care. hence why he was putting her hand down.

of course we know it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to turn out, from the next scene here.

kazui is clearly depressed towards the outcomes. at the end of half, his right side is not very happy at all, despite his left side making it look like he's grinning.

everything is all a mess now.

cat:

after finding out hinako wanted to "touch and caress", kazui genuinely seems interested in this thought and was sincere about what he was feeling here, so he pursues her in hopes those feelings are fulfilled. interestingly, the lyrics "so, it's wrong?" are on the screen when he shows the camera his right side.

when he proposes to her, he still remains looking at her in this direction, although we can't see how his expression looks like. unfortunately for hinako though, this is the last time kazui ever looks at her on this side.

during the confession scene, his right side is blocked by the cup, so we actually don't know what he was feeling completely when he asked the question.

after this scene, we can finally see his right side again, but it's well hidden by kazui blocking that side of his face with a hand and cigarette. giving us a sense of mystery of what transpired after he asked the question.

kazui is entertaining his wife with magic tricks while showing his left side to the camera. his "fake" side is what he wants to show to her and to all of us.

but his left eye squints as he realizes about his dream. his left eye squinting is telling us that his fake side is breaking apart. then, kazui drops down to his knees. take note of the rope falling down on his left lap. after getting back up (from what seems like kazui stumbling from drinking 4 cups of alcohol), he rubs the right side of his face. he is really frustrated with himself here.

with all of the information we have so far, we can interpret this as kazui desiring to remove his fake, other half of himself (this is the only object we don't see when kazui is showing off his magic tricks, and ropes can be associated with suicide). he is given a choice to remove his left side, his false side, which is why that rope fell down that direction.

as he's about to tell hinako the truth, he transitions from

> lighting a cigarette, his eyes hidden from us

> kazui facepalming himself. as a smoke in a shape of a noose is formed. remember the rope i talked about earlier?

even though the rope initially landed on his left lap, the noose is angled to his right side. he's grasping his right side of the face as well. this, here, is kazui being ashamed of his "true self". if he could, he would want to remove his true self if it meant having to keep lying to people, or if it meant making people happy. kazui is going through with telling hinako the truth, while this scene tells us he is hesitating to do so and is 100% expecting for it to hurt him and her.

> he lets down his hand.

showing hinako and us, the audience, a very unique expression where he's snide, mischievous... almost mocking, yet at the same time, really depressed and frustrated with it all. from hinako's pose in half touching kazui's "true side", this is his answer; she is not going to like it one bit.

a stark difference in feelings. kazui looks like he's going to say or do something harmful, but his other side tells us otherwise. he didn't want things to be like this. also, it contrasts with the final scene in half very well.

when he bites on the dove, he doesn't look that satisfied doing so.

in this climax, it seems like kazui himself doesn't know what's what anymore, letting the adrenaline of telling his feelings take over him. letting both his "true" feelings and his "lying" self beat him up, because at this point of no return, what difference will his fake and real self make anyway?

i really love how we can't tell if his bloodied lips are frowning because he's shocked, distressed, or if he's grinning ear to ear, happy and glad to have finally told the truth. even in this scene you can tell that the right side of his lips is less happy than his left where his mouth is more elevated and smiling.

what does he feel now after all of this chaos? well, let's look back at his right side of his face again...

the MV ends with this shot of his right eye, slowly zooming in.

empty, emotionless, forlorn, and distant...

it's almost like he's staring and watching something at the sky after something fell down.

[meraki-yao]

TN Candies Part 2

HI! I’m back with more candies to share :D

Part 1

Again, preface for precaution, but it’s the exact same stuff as last time, so if you know it and you’re okay with it, feel free to cut the chase and go straight to the main event under the cut.  

1, This post contains content regarding real-person shipping. If you’re uncomfortable with the subject, again, please don’t read under the post

2, I don’t have all the candies because I really just view them in passing, so I’m just gonna write/translate the ones I’ve seen, remember and find at least a logical speculation

3, I need to reiterate this in case my position in this gets misunderstood: Me writing about “candies” isn’t because these are MY opinion or things *I* found or *I* believe in them being evidence. I am just a translator and messenger.

4, Chinese people have a very difference understanding of platonic/romantic affection/relationships compared to the Western world, and that they look at the candies with rose-tinted glass. Chinese/Asian people are generally a lot less affectionate with their personal relationships, for example friends wouldn’t say “love you” to each other if they’re just friends, nor would they expand their friend group to the others easily or other stuff. And these people who look for candy go into their “investigation” already with the belief that “they are together”, everything remotely resembling a close relationship will automatically be interpreted as romantic. I thought about it a lot, and honestly among the “candies” I’ve seen, most of them are a matter of interpretation: yes those are things couples will do, but it wouldn’t be weird if friends did it too. So they’re not that seriously or up for further speculation. There is I think only one “candy” that I can’t quite say the same, which I will explain and elaborate on in this post. 

5, Please remember that the people who do this do it in good nature: something I didn’t make clear in my post yesterday, which is on me, is that the fans do want them to be together, but they’re not like… yandere level or something. If they’re just friends the fans won’t be upset or betrayed or anything, they just prefer to see them as romantic. They don’t mean any harm, and they don’t cause any harm because China is physically and digitally too far away for them to actually fuck shit up, and they understand the lines of parasocial relationships: those who met with Taylor during his China trip in December know to, and didn’t bring up this in front of him. They know where to draw the line, and whoever doesn’t and starts becoming a problem gets kicked out of the community. This is meant for fun.

Ok with that being say, main event under the cut:

Lexi Galitzine

Preface for this one, and I cannot emphasise this enough: I did not fact check this one, I don’t follow Lexi on any social media. These are discoveries of the original posters. Please do not disturb Lexi and respect her privacy, especially since she is not a public figure. This is observation and speculation all done in casual, good fun, please respect her and leave her alone.

Starting from 20th December, Lexi Galitzine, Nick’s older and only sister, starting following Taylor on Instagram, which is quite odd since it was past rwrb’s promo period. Even during the promo period, Lexi only liked the rwrb official account’s post on twitter. And it’s her personal account, not her work account, so this is a personal thing.

She then proceeded to like Taylor’s post from the 20th, 23rd , and 29th. All of which are pictures from his China trip, and therefore has nothing to do with Nick.

Lexi is a graphic designer, so she mostly follows artist and designers. For Nick’s co-workers, Lexi only follows two female co-star who are very close to Nick. Taylor’s the first male friend of Nick’s that Lexi followers.

Your Man

As we all know, on Taylor’s birthday, Aneesh posted her (so far) last rwrb photo dump, and among those ones was Taylor and Nick singing together (which was adorable)

They sang “Your Man” together, which is quite a romantic and sweet song if you look at the lyrics

Taylor then commented under the post, and I quote “You recorded Ahahaahhaa”, implying he didn’t know that this was recorded at the time of the video. But… from the video, Aneesh isn’t that far away from the boys, and Taylor’s facing Aneesh, unlike Nick, who was facing Taylor.

(This is fully up to interpretation) There’s such a… vibe between them in that video.  

(To me this is a stretch but) Taylor’s at Nick’s trailer. And if we recall the “OHHH THERE’S THE MOVIE STAR” little video where Nick got all adorably flustered since Taylor filmed Nick getting out of the lift, it means that Taylor was waiting for Nick, and Nick wasn’t surprised to see Taylor, so this has been going on for a while. If there is more than one lift, then Taylor also somehow knows which one Nick’s coming out from. They know each other’s route/place and meet up a lot.

Aneesh posted a video of both of them singing on Taylor’s birthday, and when wishing Taylor happy birthday, she posted that video on her story. It’s Taylor’s birthday, it would have made more sense to post either photos of just Taylor, or Taylor with her, which is what she did for his last birthday.

Nick’s Tiktok

Mentioned this yesterday but I’ll translate it here too: Nick originally followed 83 accounts on Tik Tok. On 11th January 2024, Nick cleared out his following, and only 7 remained: Camila Cabello (Cinderella 2021, Cinderella), Ayo Oedebiri (Bottoms, Josie), Rachel Sennott (Bottoms, PJ), Sio Torley (M&G, Crew), Inez Ella Clark (M&G, Makeup), Cameron Valetina (Model), and Taylor. Taylor is somehow, the only guy remaining.

Among these seven people, Nick mostly likely only introduced Taylor and Camila to Lexi, because Lexi only follows those two on social media

Later Nick followed a 4 generally accounts, but then three days he unfollowed two of those. So he has 9 followings now: 2 content accounts, 6 girl, and Taylor.

Please note that I did not fact check this, and I literally cannot fact check it because Tik Tok is completely unavailable here. Everything I translated is from OP and the screenshots she provided.

I think I’ll leave it there for part 2! Again there is still more, so lemme know if you want a part 3!

Again, this is all in good fun. But after the shit storm yesterday, I kind of wanted to use this to remind people in the rwrb who love them both and are understandably bothered and upset by the haters that the boys are proven to have a good relationship, and this is evidence. Whether these acts are platonic or romantic is none of our business and up to interpretation, but these show that they have a good relationship regardless. Don't let the assholes get to you, and have fun with these :D

Tagging a couple of folks:

@lfg1986-2 @tal-vez-o-quizas @na-18dia @mylucayathoughts @androgynoustriumphclown @hopefulblizzardsublime

[hoeratius]

okay, asking this question is maybe the dumbest i've ever felt bc it feels like there should be a straightforward, obvious answer here, but every time i've tried to look it up, i've found nothing but pages upon pages of what feels like people talking in circles and only serving to make me more confused in the end. since you're the most knowledgable person i follow when it comes to the Classics, i figured this might be a good place to ask and maybe get an actual answer? (that being said, it's fine if you don't want to/don't have the time to answer this! obviously!!)

where can i read about the older greek myths? as in pre-trojan war. mostly, i'm interested in theseus but also just pre-trojan war stories in general. i know not everything got the iliad/odyssey treatment and there's probably not any surviving text to point at in a lot of cases, but there must've been something. every time i try to look up where to read about the history of theseus, i'm being directed to a bunch of modern retellings, but google has gotten so bad as a search engine, i literally cannot find anything about the origins of this thing everybody's retelling

from what i understand, theseus was sort of everywhere sticking his nose in everything at all times, so i'm not asking for a comprehensive timeline of his whackass life and everything he ever appeared in or anything, but if you could point me in the direction of anything about him--actual plays or academic texts, anything like that--that's more credible than, like, a self-published, self-described "bold new reimagining" with a stock image of a dude in party city roman cosplay as the cover, it would be MUCH appreciated 😭

(again, sorry about how... basic this question is i guess lol? i'm very new to classics in general and still pretty ignorant about everything, so it's EXTREMELY likely that this is a very dumb question with a very obvious answer, but thank you regardless!)

Hello! What an exciting ask (and apologies for my excited and maybe incoherent answer)!

Since you seem to be most interested in Theseus, I’ll use him as an example but much of this can be applied to other Greek heroes/myths/stories more generally.

As you noted, few get the Iliad/Odyssey treatment. In fact, even Achilles and Odysseus don’t, considering the Iliad spans only 7 weeks or so, and the Odyssey misses out on Odysseus’s actions before and during the Trojan War, and after he came home – and he did a lot after he came home. So where to go to find all the other stories that happened?

Some things to keep in mind:

Writers assumed their audience was familiar with the hero’s greatest deeds already

The big boys – Achilles, Odysseus, Theseus, Perseus, Heracles, Oedipus – had their stories shared in many formats. Think of the Parthenon metopes, which show Theseus’s key deeds in sculpture, or vases, hymns, public performances, bedtime stories, etc. People would encounter these often enough that the outlines of these heroes’ stories were known to them from a young age.

One of the Metopes of the Parthenon, showing (probably) Athena and Theseus.

As a result, ancient texts never show the entire story; they select the moment they want to tell and focus in on that. Hence the Iliad focuses on Achilles’s wrath, the Odyssey emphasises his homecoming, and the Argonautica tells the story of the Golden Fleece. Similarly, tragedies will choose a meaningful moment: not all of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra’s struggles, but his return home in the Agamemnon, or the events that lead directly to Pentheus’s dismemberment in the Bakchai.

So finding one text that will give you a useful overview will be hard!

These heroes are often also connected to so many other famous characters, that sometimes they show up as a side character in their stories, so it depends on which stories capture your interest most.

Pre-Homeric texts are few and far between

But this is not to say there aren’t pre-Trojan-War myths!

There are loads! Anything with Heracles or Theseus is pre-Iliadic, and others, like the house of Pelops, link more to the Trojan War but are also separate from it. Plus, there is Hesiod’s Theogony (roughly contemporary with Homer), which tells of the births of the gods and goes all the way back to the start of the universe.

The Ovid situation

Many Greek texts are lost, and we’ve only got allusions to this or that part of the myth in the existing fragments, etc. etc. So how do we still know so much about so many of these stories?

Enter my fave: Ovid.

Far later than Homer (1st century versus 8th century BC), but with access to all the Greek texts and them some, he wrote a lot of fairly comprehensive stories. These include the Heroides, letters written from the perspective of female characters trying to connect to their male lovers, with letter 10 coming from Ariadne to Theseus, and Metamorphoses 8 with parts of Theseus’s story.

If you’re looking for a high-level overview of what was what in ancient myth, starting with the Metamorphoses will give you all the big boys and many of the smaller ones.

Theseus specifically:

I must admit that Theseus is not my strong suit, but sources I’m familiar with that I would recommend:

Hippolytus, by Euripides and Phaedra by Seneca: these both tell of Theseus’s second wife Phaedra falling for his son Hippolytus and causing his death

Catullus 64: A lament from Ariadne after Theseus has abandoned her on Naxos

Metamorphoses 8, 12, by Ovid: Snippets of Theseus’s life, incl the Minotaur

Ones I’m not as familiar with but might be up your street:

Life of Theseus, Plutarch: a historian/scholar’s biography. He had them in pairs, where he compared the two; Theseus is linked to Romulus

The Argonautica, Apollonius Rhodus: Follows Jason in his quest for the Golden Fleece; Theseus is one of his heroes

Oedipus at Colonnus, Sophocles: apparently Theseus is a major side character here but I don’t remember!

There is also The King must Die by Mary Renault, a modern retelling from the ‘80s that blew me away. The only book set in ancient Greece I’ve ever read that doesn’t shy away from how alien their culture and values are to us today and doesn’t try to sugarcoat things.

And if you’re looking for more heroes: Wikipedia is your friend!

The Classics-related pages are pretty reliable, and they often mention the main sources per character.  

I hope this gets you started but please do hit me up with more questions, I always love diving into these things!

[unicyclehippo]

Bubbles

[for @possibilistfanfiction started out as smth soft n goofy for u, then tilted toward sad :/ sorry. also i guess this is canon divergence where ava doesn't go through the portal but also she's fine? cannot emphasise enough that im not Thinking just vibe w me]

//

there's a bath in jillian's safe house, a really good one. it's deep and fancy, in the way that really expensive things are where they're sort of deceptively simple—it doesn't have a billion dials, or jets, it's just a comfortably large tub made of some heavy, smooth material that your fingertips glide over when you touch it.

you're dying to fill it to the brim with burning hot water and just. soak. for one hour, maybe twenty. you heard somewhere that a hot bath is good for aches and pains and that sounds like exactly what you need. you hurt now, everywhere. your body, your skin, your heart.

'ava?'

beatrice is hovering in the doorway. she looks totally serene but that's a fucking lie and you know it is because there's no way she can be calm, be serene, because you fought and killed an angel (big question mark there) and saw and rescued god (two big question marks) and you kissed her (you kissed her and she kissed you back) and no one was supposed to die but michael isn't here in this big house that his mum bought so that she could lock herself away in it and rip open time and space and save him and she let you back into her house even though you let him die and beatrice is standing in the doorway of the bathroom and there's two strands of hair knocked loose from her bun and the sight of it saves you, a little bit. you're going to lose your mind thinking about angels and gods and the halo in your spine and the way your whole nervous system feels like a livewire right now, stinging you raw from the inside out, but beatrice is here and you want to touch her hair. tuck the strands behind her ear. maybe, if you're lucky, she'll let you linger. twist one around your finger so you can feel the silken slide of it.

'yeah,' you croak, 'hi.'

beatrice smiles. her eyes roam over your face. she can't look away and you knew that she loved you before you kissed her, before you left her, because everything she wouldn't let her hands do, she did with her eyes instead. beatrice wants to touch you now—you want that too, of course, but you don't know how yet and you're hurting—so she stares.

'i can run a bath,' she offers. 'i can do that for you.'

you'll do anything for her. you'll die for her. you'll strip down out of your bloody clothes so that she can look but not touch. you'll let her run a bath for you.

'please.'

beatrice steps into the bathroom. it's about as big as the whole apartment had been, back in your little mountain town, but it doesn't feel like it. there's nothing in the world but you and beatrice and the four paces that separate you; the world is closing in around you and your shoulders are shaking from holding the collapse at bay. atlas, you think, was lucky. he was all alone. but there's a girl in front of you who wants to take some of the burden off your shoulders and you want to let her, except the burden is you and you don't know how to hand it off gracefully, you don't know how to divide the weight evenly, you don' t know how to split the world into orange slices and hand her just the northern hemisphere, or just your fear and trust. you don't want to hurt her but it's crushing you.

the taps open. water spills from the spigots, steam curling up toward the ceiling. she pours something into the water—lavender? its dusty, dusky in your nose, on your tongue. white froth builds in the base of the tub and grows.

beatrice is pouring you a bubble bath. you're going to cry, definitely; it's not a matter of if but when.

you sit on the edge of the tub and start to peel off your armour. it takes time to figure out how; teeth gritted, fingers curling stiff and unhelpful into your palms, you have to ask for her help.

'does it hurt?'

'no,' you lie.

beatrice stares at you hard but pretends to believe you, which is nice of her. she opens you up, peels your armour away like the skin of an orange. maybe there's something citrus in the bubbles she poured out, maybe you're hungry, maybe you're tripping fantastic on jillian's pain medication and thinking way too much about the gold light of adriel's church and how kissing beatrice had stung, just a little.

'stand up,' she says instead, and helps with your pants too. she's touching you, so she's looking away, eyes averted. you wonder what it would feel like if she let herself look and touch, both at the same time, and then quickly stop when it makes your head spin more than it already is. 'careful getting into the tub.'

her hands are on your elbows. they always seemed like weird body parts to you, useful only for bending your arms, helping you reach out with your hands. now, when she is touching you there, you think they might be the best thing god (huge question mark) ever invented. you tuck the feeling away for later, for some fun alone time, and refocus on the way her fingers tremble and her hair isn't perfect.

'i'm okay,' you tell her, because she hasn't looked at you, and you think she might not realise—the divinium is gone, the shrapnel tugged out of your chest and belly and legs, even the little bit by your wrist. then, you step into the tub and the water is hot and you feel like it's searing away all your fear-sweat and blood and as you start to half-fall, half-sink down into it, you say, 'will you stay?' because you got exploded a little and if there's ever a time to capitalise on that, it's now.

beatrice keeps her eyes on the ceiling as she lowers you down into the water. it sloshes over the side, splashes a line at beatrice's thigh where she's leaning against the side of the tub to help you.

'you don't have to. you don't have to do anything. you don't.'

'i'll stay,' beatrice says, and now that you're covered by the water and bubbles, she looks at you. looks at your lips and lifts her hand to touch your cheek, thumb at the corner of your mouth.

you want to kiss her again. you want to fall asleep. you want to sit in this bath and cry and hold her hand. you think, wildly, with a little luck you will get to do all of those things and more.

'do you want to get in here with me?' you ask, because if you believe in anything in this world it is pushing your luck. pulling your knees up to your chest. the water is deep enough that they only barely break the surface.

beatrice smiles. 'yes.'

'holy shit.'

'but i won't.'

'totally fair.'

'but...' she strokes the corner of your mouth, and you swear you feel the water heat up another degree around you. 'i want. i want to stay.'

[sora-of-uranus]

The removal of the sexism pisses me off not because it just affects Sokkas character but because it has ruined almost every woman in the show.

Suki takes off her make up often, as if it isn't a large part of her cultural identity and personality, as if her being a kyoshi warior and her destinctly femenine clothes are something to be ashamed off or that hinders her. Because its only her that gets this treat amongst the warriors, and shes the only main kyoshi warrior for the audience.

Yue's entire character is removed. It is replaced with what I think is meant to be a sympathetic princess to the people, she joins the nans in the kitchens and make deserts for the children. Like a disney princess whose quirky and silly and held back only by her title of a princess. Gone is the battle between her desire to help and her duty to be a water tribe ideal woman. Gone is her realising that the best way to help her people is to not be an ideal woman, but to take action and to do what no one else can, to become one with the moon so that she can forever help not just her tribe but the entire world. It is depressing, it is deep, it isn't fair to her but when has the world ever been fair?

Katara aswell. Her bending is forever unlocked by men (Aang and Jet), her defiance of authority is lessened and her naievety is also changed. A lot of her motherhood role is also completlty gone since they have changed Sokkas sexism into elder brother smothering. Her fight with Paku holds a lot less significance since she has no RAGE behind her. No rage that has built for YEARS as time and time again people have said no to her face for being a woman, for being weak, for not being enough simply because of who she is. that doesn't exist for her anymore because the water tribes are just...nice. We see one bad person in the water tribe and its Hadoka and he's mean to sokka! Kataras rage comes from Paku saying no to her, and whilst thats swell, it changes her entire "I'm a master now" moment into just...lame girlbossery. Thats kinda how the entire last 2 episodes felt like for her character. A common girlboss character without the emotional depth to make it femenism.

I think my main issue is that both shows set themselves up as being femenist by nature. The og show wanted to tackle issues with sexism, using book 1 as its main demonstration with it, but the theme still follows throughout the narative. netflix's show outright said they were removing the sexist elements. When you place youself onto that pedastal, any sexist writing you have becomes emphasised.

The og show undoubtably has sexist moments! Irohs comments to June are the most obvious to me, a long with a couple comments from Zuko later on. You can certainly argue that the extreme lack of GOOD mother figures is an issue (Kat and Sokkas mother is dead, Zukos is 'dead', and Toph is awful and rather quite compared to her father). Theres other examples, although currently my brain cannot think of any since I don't often write indepth critisms.

The live actions main point of sexism is its female main characters. we literally meet Yue in the kitchen! Women can be in kitchens but that is certainly a choice! Theres this strange hatred for make up aswell, yes with Suki but also with Sokka. His war paint is removed. Its like saying make up cannot be worn by strong fighters which is rather sexist. Speaking off: not putting Sokka in the kyoshi outfit is just...dumb? If you want to show him learning the style, having him wear the outfit. Its an aspect of the style and philosophy. A man wearing make up and a skirt doesn't emasculate him yet the show makes it feel that way with the refusal to do it. "Oh but then you'd have Sokka and Suki kiss in the kyoshi outfits" who cares. "it will look like lesbians" it won't. Even if it did, who cares? you can't be 'femenist' and anti-lesbian. Putting Sokka in the Kyoshi outfit, having him respect it, is just as important as having Aang learn the other elements, or Iroh creating lightning redirection. Why? because it shows a respect of culture, and how you can blend that into your own way of thinking. It's cultural extchanged based on respect.

When you name yourself femenist, yet have explicitly sexist writing, your GOING to get dogpiled with critism based on that 'femenist' msg.