#i cannot believe we let this happen ����

[7seas-of-ryy]

Crestfallen - Part 3

Author’s Note: I made up a lot of sicknesses/random things that have never been mentioned throughout the actual ACOTAR series! The breaks in text are going back and forth between the two rooms.

Overall Summary: Although you were born in the Day Court, you've been living in the Night Court for a century. You're close with the inner circle but what will happen when a new healer is brought into the picture?

Part 3 Summary: Clara has been found out, but what has she done to you?

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Warnings: talks of injuries

"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean." Clara said softly, a small confused smile on her lips.

"When I asked you to help her, you said "I didn't do this one." What does that mean." Nesta snarled at the young healer.

Mor seemed deep in thought, Azriel and Cassian were equally confused, and Nesta seemed ready to pounce.

"Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing her say that." Mor spoke up.

"You better tell us what's up right now." Cassian growled.

At this point, Clara's smile faultered. She looked around for a way out but noticed the four of them had her surrounded and they wouldn't stop until they knew the truth. She may be evil but she wasn't dumb.

"It wasn't even that bad." The healer confessed.

"What have you done?" Azriel questioned, his voice deadly calm.

------

Madja had seen cases like yours before but never this bad. The cut on your back had traces of venom in it. A rare venom that used the victim's power against them.

She needed to extract every last ounce of it that was in your system but it was trickier than it sounded. If she took too much too fast, it could essentially tear your powers from your very being which would kill you.

"I need you to enter her mind. Once you are in, I will start to remove the poison from her system, you just need to let me know if her mind starts fading." Madja explained to Rhys.

"Are you sure this will work?" Rhys asked.

"Of course I am, boy. Now do as I say." She said quickly.

Rhys tried to enter your mind but all he could see was blinding light. There was no where for him to enter, it was almost as if the light was burning him. He pulled away, never feeling anything like it before.

"I can't get in, her light, it burns me." He explained to the healer.

"Listen to me. It might burn a bit but you will be fine. On the other hand, if we don't fix her right now her light will continue to burn brighter until it has consumed her. Perhaps we could get the shadowsinger in here to help." Madja told Rhys, hoping Azriel's shadows could help.

Rhys immediately spoke to Az through his mind and he appeared within seconds.

"What can I help with?" He rushed out his question.

"I cannot enter her mind, it is too bright, painfully so. Could you somehow use your shadows to help me get through?" Rhys explained the situation.

"I can try." Az responded.

------

Cassian looked towards where Azriel just stood, knowing he went to help you.

"I have no clue what's wrong with Y/N, honest. I swear I didn't think it would go this far." Clara pleaded with the group.

"You better start explaining before I unleash Nesta upon you." Cassian threatened.

Nesta had been eerily still, like a predator hunting her prey. Clara was visibly scared. Her hands were shaking, terrified of what Nesta would do to her.

"Ok listen. I've had a huge crush on Azriel for years now, so when I saw you guys needed another healer I took that as my opportunity." The "healer" explained.

"We've only known you for 2 weeks, how could you have a crush on him for years?" Mor asked.

"Everyone knows Azriel, the mighty shadowsinger, the feared spymaster of the Night Court. Well...when I met him all he wanted to talk about was Y/N. About how much I'd love her personality, how she's so great," Clara went on, "so I was a little jealous of her."

By this point, Mor was dissappointed she didn't believe you. She assumed you were exhausted from your mission and the guilt she felt was awful.

"When she showed up to my shop I got angry that she was back so soon. Rhys wanted me to do a check up on her and all I saw was a tiny cut on her back so I thought she'd be fine and I just wanted her to leave." She continued to explain.

Nesta was fuming by this point. Not only because of what she did to her friend but also because she didn't see through Clara sooner.

"Wait wait wait, all this is happening to Y/N because you're jealous of her? What kind of vile creature are you?" Cassian seathed.

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen-" She began to plead when Azriel appeared in the room again.

------

Rhys re-entered your mind, this time with Azriel's shadows being a protective barrier around him. It was way easier this time but he wasn't sure how long Az could hold it.

"Alright, start." Rhys told Madja.

The healer began her work. Unweaving the venom from your powers, from your soul. She was about halfway through when Rhys called out.

"STOP! I can feel her fading!" Rhys was panting, he was exerting all his energy.

Madja pulled out, confusion taking over.

"This doesn't make sense. It's as if another energy is pulling her powers. Like an untouched ball of energy using up the rest of her." She explained.

"What do we do?" Azriel questioned.

"It needs another energy form to pull from..." She started.

"My shadows." He whispered.

Before anyone could stop him he sent them out to you and that little ball inside of you immediately began to absorb them. He screamed out in pain and Rhys and Madja quickly began to work.

It took only a few moments more for Madja to finish yet it felt like an eternity for the two males. It had been way easier now that Az was distracting whatever it was inside of you. The venom was successfully extracted and the room was eerily quiet. Rhys and Az both fell back, feeling drained from using their powers in such a way.

"Why isn't she waking up?" The shadowsinger whispered, making his way toward you.

"It must have to do with whatever is deep inside her. I need to do a full body work up on her to see what is going on." She spoke and started right away.

Az felt a tear slide down his cheek and quickly brushed it away. The High Lord stayed back to give you space to be checked out but he felt the same as the male next to him, worried and hopeless.

It felt like an eternity when Madja spoke up again.

"There is a substance inside her nose. Almost like a powder but I haven't seen it before. I'll have to take it back with me to break the molecules down. I'm afraid Y/N will have to stay in this state for now." She told the two males.

Azriel's head shot toward Madja at her words.

"Wait, did you say a powder was in her nose?" He muttered.

She just nodded her head in response, holding up the sample she collected. Your words from earlier popped into his head.

"Y/N told me 'she blew some powder in my face which caused everything'." Azriel stated coldly and winnowed away.

------

The shadowsinger appeared in front of Clara, his shadows surrounding her and pinning her against the wall. She shrieked in either pain or fear but he didn't care. You were in danger and he would stop at nothing to help you.

"What did you blow in Y/N's face?" He demanded.

"What?!" She feigned innocence.

Azriel held up the vial of powder close to her face. His shadows squeezed tighter around her frame.

"It's nothing serious," She weezed out, "It's a mix of vamire, spitfire aconite, and root of igranium. All it's supposed to do is heighten the pain/sickness they already have. I had an antidote that I gave her. It's in my bag."

Mor quickly grabbed the bag from the female, searching for both the powder and the antidote. She handed them both to Az.

"And why would you posion her just to give her an antidote?" Cass asked.

"I wanted to impress Azriel." She whimpered looking down.

"What's in the antidote?" Az shouted at her making her flinch.

"A..Adlirin and G..G..Green Gilliflower." She sputtered in terror.

The shadows left along with their master and she fell to the floor.

------

"Both of these are in her system," Az spoke holding the vials, "Vamire, Spitfire Aconite, Root of Igranium, Aldirin, and Green Gilliflower."

Madja's eyes grew wide and a bad feeling shot through both Az and Rhys at her reaction.

"This isn't good." She said, looking over your unconscious form.

Taglist

@rcarbo1 @acourtofbatboydreams @bravo-delta-eccho @tele86 @theravenphoenix26

@anoneyesee @ren-ni @kabekusa @isa1b2h3 @i-am-infinite

@historygeekqueen @mariahoedt @fr0stf4ll

[sporkarts]

Rio and Subtext

I'm pretentious and I love media analysis so I wanted to break open the scene where Rio and Agatha fight, right after Agatha has broken out of the spell. The fun part about media analysis is that I could be 100% wrong!! and that's okay lol

SO! AAA uses something called re contextualization, where almost every interaction has a layer that is given a greater context later on and i LOVE it. It's not 100% perfect but the biggest moments work so so well. I think one of the best examples of this is the first fight between Agatha and Rio. Looking back, especially during eps 4 and 5 it's really hard to see what the hell Rio was even doing there. But I firmly believe that Rio showed up to warn Agatha that the seven were coming. YES OBVIOUSLY her showing up was also a vehicle for exposition, but diegetically, I think it was Rio's way of warning Agatha.

Sources:

The beginning of the fight, it's obvious even from a first watch-through that Rio is holding back. She easily overpowers Agatha multiple times and at first we're meant to interpret this as someone 'playing with their food' so to speak. On a larger scale, I believe this is a test. "oh hey, you really are out, but you're also so vulnerable"

next, Agatha yields, something I think Rio isn't used to seeing her do. It's here where Rio confirms that Agatha 1. has no power and 2. has no idea what's been happening while she's been trapped.

Then, Rio concedes. She can't kill Agatha, but the Salem Seven can. On the first watchthrough, it sounds like she's tangentially related to the Salem Seven. She's dressed similarly to them, she's the one that mentions them, and she also specifically says she'll "tell them where to find you"

However, in Episode 5, we get context on a few things.

Who the Salem Seven are

Rio is very defensive of Agatha ("when her own mother tried to have her executed" "where is she?")

Rio doesn't particularly like the seven, in fact she seems to, at least in part, dislike them ( "they became a feral, hive-minded coven bent on revenge")

Rio doesn't like Evanora Harkness ("yeah well, her mother can't have her")

At no point is Rio ever shown to command or work with the salem seven, but she is shown protecting Agatha (verbally) from anyone who tries to take her away

When Rio is revealed as Death, it re-contextualizes a lot of the rest of their interaction. Rio cannot kill Agatha because it's against the cosmic rules (which we also learn she follows STAUNCHLY) but she also cannot directly save Agatha. If the Salem Seven were to attack her, Rio could not save her from dying. This also puts a lot of emphasis on their final battle, wherein Rio is so distraught that she's more than willing to break the rules of her existence just to bring Agatha closer to her.

SO!

her parting words from ep 1

"I am not the only one who wants to see you dead. Wants to see you burn, or hang, or drown" ... "Okay Agatha, but I'll be sure to tell them where to find you." ..."the worst of them, the Salem Seven, I expect you'll see them at sundown. After all these centuries, Agatha Harkness will finally meet her end, it really warms the heart" ..."yes I do, it's black and it beats for you"..."te veo"

translation: I love you. I cannot kill you (because of rules), I'm upset with you, but I cannot kill you (because it would kill me). And I'm obsessed enough with you that I cannot let anyone else kill you, but I cannot save you. So I am warning you, they aim to kill you and they can kill you. They will not hesitate and you cannot escape this if they find you, so find another solution. I love you so much my Very Being is devoted to you. I love you, and I see you.

again, yes, so much of that is exposition (antagonist setup, inciting incident etc) but I really and truly believe that this was a warning above all. feel free to disagree! i just love love talking about the deeper meaning behind things :3

[catboymoments]

Hi everyone I’m so sorry to bring this up because as we all know tumblr discourse is EXHAUSTING but the blog @ romans12-19 that has been obsessively documenting my friend Juicebox and spreading misinformation + encouraging harassment towards them (based on a “”callout”” started by their groomer) has not let up and is continuing to spread a hate campaign. I’ve spoken about this before because the people who have been harassing juice for some reason value tumblr clout over human lives. (they’ve sent the goddamn fbi to their house for working on a doc to take down a local predator knowing that Juicebox is a black disabled victim of police brutality.) juice is my friend and I care about him so much and I want this to stop and for these absolute ghouls to leave him alone and get a life.

… And because I am simply a person who cares about juice and is their friend (that they cannot believe because they want a villain so bad) they’re trying to drag me into it to. By (checks notes) bringing up a “callout post” made by a grown woman who harassed me on Twitter when I was SEVENTEEN Years Old for disliking proshippers in the jojo fandom full of either non issues or things that I’ve since acknowledged were tasteless of me to say. So. THATS HAPPENING.

so please I ask of you can we report this blog for harassment and hopefully get it taken down because this is ridiculous. Holy shit

[laylainalaska]

MASH continues

I watched the episode with Charles and Martine last night (11x03) and first of all, I canNOT believe that the place where that episode leaves Charles in that subplot is CRYING ON THE BED. Did we do anything to deserve this? Talk about an episode that cried out for an upbeat/supportive tag scene with him and Hawkeye and BJ. (And you know they would! It's pretty clear that they're a) curious about what's going on with him and Martine, and b) generally supportive in similar situations in other episodes. He definitely wouldn't tell them exactly what happened, but like they're not going to get him drunk, commiserate a bit, and try to get the story out of him, c'mon.)

But I was also fully unprepared for the adorableness of crushing Charles. You know what else I was unprepared for? This little exchange with Hawkeye and Charles near the beginning when Hawkeye's telling him he doesn't have a chance with her.

THE HAND ON THE ARM, BOTH OF THEM, I CANNOT.

I think it's interesting how differently Hawkeye reacts to Martine's obvious interest in Charles than he did in the episode a couple of seasons earlier with the lady reporter who was interested in BJ (and not in Hawkeye). In that case he just would not let it alone, whereas here he takes it gracefully, steps aside, and doesn't bother them. I don't know if that's just because he relates to Charles differently than he does to BJ, or whether it's that he can tell Charles is genuinely into her and doesn't want to get in the way, whereas with BJ being married, it was a very different situation.

(Or a little of both.)

More thoughts below the readmore.

I kinda knew the broad strokes of the plot of this one, including what made them break up, and I was generally expecting Charles to be a lot more of a dick to her about it and I think it's interesting - in light of some of his past behavior - that what happens is a quiet, sad withdrawal instead. He does hurt her, but he's pretty clear about this being a him problem, not a her problem. He doesn't want her to change or try to be someone different for him, or even hide her past. He just doesn't think he can face up to it at home.

I think the really interesting thing this episode brought up is how he's compartmentalized his life here from his life back home. Everything that's been going on with him here, the friendships he's made and the much looser, more relaxed way he behaves, is a "here" thing, which isn't going to go back "there" (and I think he's really wrong about that).

The thing that fractures him and Martine isn't the idea of having a wartime romance with her here, it's the idea of having a future with her -- taking her home and introducing her to his family and having to support and defend her in Boston society. This obviously is very much a him problem, but I think it's interesting that he doesn't seem to consider, even for a moment, just having a no-strings-attached fling (which he clearly did do with Donna!). He doesn't even think about that as a solution; he's got to say goodbye to her now or he never will.

I think this kinda goes back to the thing I was talking about in the Dreams post a little bit, about Charles getting attached. He does get attached, we see that throughout the series - not all the time, or to everybody, but when he attaches, it's deep, and he can't just shake it off.

(Which also suggests how effectively he's going to completely lock away the last couple of years of his life - not very. He's going home different, and everyone's going to know it, and pretty soon he's going to know it; he may even know it by the last episode.)

But I'm also just very deeply affected by his goodbye to Martine. That whole scene where he's laying on the bed, clearly heartbroken ...! Okay, yeah, he was going to simply let her leave without saying goodbye, and that's self-protective as much as anything - and Charles standing her up for their last night's date was definitely ... choices were made! He just can't face her and his feelings for her. That scene on the bed, though. OW.

.... also unreasonably charmed by "your friend Hawkeye." Even apart from shipping - although I do ship it - I feel like part of the solution to his problem is right there. Hawkeye makes him laugh, and brings out a warmer, more playful side of his personality.

And it's not one-sided! For one thing, Hawkeye clearly enjoys spending time around him and pestering him. But also, Charles can steady him in some situations where nobody else can. I'm thinking actually, not "Sons & Bowlers", but the OR scene in "Follies of the Living, Concerns of the Dead," another one I watched fairly recently. That little "I must have run the bowel too fast, I missed something" and Charles's "Don't worry, I've got it." Hawkeye trusts him as a surgeon to an extent that he can just let go and know Charles has it in hand, and that's something I think he comes to lean on.

(Yes, I watched an episode in which Charles has a canonical romance and now I'm talking about Charles/Hawkeye, I can't help it.)

Anyway, though, I just think this episode is really interesting as a kind of benchmark of how things are going for him in the war. I think this might be the point where he actually realized not only that things are going to be different at home but that he might not want to be that person when he goes back.

[olenoidedserratuspilled]

I am once again being nosey and butting in on other people's conversations. I'd advise against clicking on read more.

Trans people have been eating each other alive for a long time, and it's gonna keep happening, unfortunately.

Yes they have, all the more reason not to look for any united front or community.

lots of transmascs (and other trans folks) suck just as bad as the transfems letting you down.

Again, lots oall the more reason not to look for any united front or community.

If you want solidarity, you have to start by offering yours.

And if your solidarity isn't accepted? What then?

One person can't make a difference, we both know this, so in order to clean the metaphorical river you'd need to join with the people already working to clean it. If they don't want you to join, what then?

we cannot under any circumstances afford to entertain separationist ideas or feelings.

The separationist ideas will keep growing whether you entertain them or not. People desire an outgroup to rally against, and once they're rallied against an outgroup they'll look for more and more people to lump into that outgroup. Once you've been lumped in, there's no way out. Can't reverse entropy.

You need to remember that even the ones who are wrong about you are still more right about themselves than you could ever be

And you're still more right about yourself than you could ever be, but they don't care about that. They believe they're more right about you than you are, and many will get aggressive if challenged on this. Why take that risk just on the off chance you might enact some small change?

If you start tuning them all out because of what they're getting wrong about you, you will lose a massive part of the story, and your picture will always be incomplete.

The people tuning you out seem to be doing just fine, so having an incomplete picture can't be so horrible.

We can't make things better for trans people if our picture of transphobia and trans experiences is incomplete.

That's too bad, because the people with incomplete pictures seem pretty confident that they can. There are few of them now, but there'll be more of them soon, and there'll be less people with complete pictures or willing to gain complete pictures soon. Eventually our only options will be an incomplete picture or no picture at all.

By and large, one single Anon giving up on looking to transfems for allyship doesn't change anything. It would if many people did the same, but OP does provide a very good argument against doing that, so I don't believe they will.

Even if they did, every conflict has its surrenders. Especially ones that seems to grow ever more hopeless.

This post isn't aimed at Anon because Anon won't see it. It's aimed at an entirely hypothetical person. It's a post for nobody. On the off chance Anon does see it though:

This is what the people demanding your solidarity think of you. You're still free to give it to them, it is your solidarity, but do so knowing what you're getting yourself into.

I'm starting to feel like.. i should stop looking to transfems for allyship. the way so many of them talk about and treat transmascs... i'm probably better off on my own than trying to form any kind of united front or community or whatever with them. the number of times i've seen transfems putting transmascs down lately is just.. it's ridiculous..

Trans people have been eating each other alive for a long time, and it's gonna keep happening, unfortunately. On the bright side, not everyone's like that! And lots of transmascs (and other trans folks) suck just as bad as the transfems letting you down.

The thing about it is that if you want a better trans community, you have to help make it. If you want solidarity, you have to start by offering yours. If you want the river to be clean, you need to go pick the litter out of it. I know it's hard and unpleasant a lot of the time, and it's scary because you might get hurt, but you still have to try. Being scared or tired or even hurt doesn't get you out of trying.

There are a lot of people already trying together, and a lot of them are transfem. Seek them out in every way you can. (I often reblog from them, if you need a place to start, and I think I've put some lists under my #recs tag over the years)

And don't let the seperationism get you. I'm so serious right now, we cannot under any circumstances afford to entertain seperationist ideas or feelings. Start reckoning with it if you haven't yet, and don't let yourself stop reckoning with it.

You need to remember that even the ones who are wrong about you are still more right about themselves than you could ever be, and you need to listen to what they're saying about themselves anyway. If you start tuning them all out because of what they're getting wrong about you, you will lose a massive part of the story, and your picture will always be incomplete. We can't make things better for trans people if our picture of transphobia and trans experiences is incomplete.

I'm sorry you've been hurt. You deserve better. I hope you're able to connect with folks who make it easier soon.

[secretress]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐀 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐮𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐲. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞.❞

Are you the sun, the moon, or the stars? (Detailed + channeled song)

Masterlist.

Author's note,

I was just thinking about writing random things for the author's note. Usually I have nothing to add, but author's note divides well for 'masterlist,' and 'divider.'

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I.

“When a shooting star is in the air, everyone gazes at it like it is something magical, but when you come into the spotlight, no one does the same, and yet you keep shining. Why shine when everything around you does not do the same?” A lot of people question this. I see so many people in one room, you in the middle, a spotlight shining on you, and yet there is a pretty smile on your face as if you are the star of the show even though they are behind you holding a rose to someone else. So why is it that you shine whether or not people focus on you? What makes it easier for you to do such a thing even when you cannot and you are scared?

Why do people’s questions like these sometimes affect you when you are a star? When you are so radiant, both inside and out, so genuine, so caring, and such a pretty soul? What makes it easier for you to cower into a small ball in the back of your mind when others say things like that to you? Sure, you will put a front on, but why? Why not let them know that their opinion does not matter to you as you already do, but actually mean it? You should mean it.

If a shooting star grabs others attention instantly, if people make wishes when they see one, if people take photographs of it, if people are so in awe of it, why can’t you do the same with yourself and mean it? What makes it so hard for you to remove the mask with yourself and become genuine with your own heart? To go within the depth of your pretty heart and figure out what makes you so insecure about who you are because, mind you, you are supposed to shine. You are supposed to be in the spotlight, and you already know this. You are supposed to be seen and you know this; you are the one who is trying to be seen, so when it happens, why let others hurt you? Why let others take your actual spotlight away from yourself? Shine brighter around them and forget their words, it should not mean anything when you already know what you want.

Sometimes figuring out what we want can be challenging, everyone has been there, yet you already found it out, so why push it away out of fear? You are deserving of being in the spotlight, it is your dream, so make it yours, make it your shooting star and when the star burns up, let an illuminating trail of light appear so people know who you are, so people know that you did that, and go on with your day. Because you did that, you got out of that hellhole and shined brighter than any star, and fled to somewhere that makes you safe or you will. And yet, everything holds you back. It is okay to be seen, and it is okay to feel scared. These feelings are valid, but it is not okay to not push yourself and not figure out more to your heart by ignoring it. Stop ignoring the depths of your heart and this time, as you read this pile, take some time and learn about who you really are. Yes, you already know what you want, and that is awesome, but who are you really?

Are you someone who cowers away from their wants? Are you someone who shuns themselves when someone voices their opinions? Are you someone who laughs at the cruel words but cries later? Are you someone who desires to be assertive and wishes they could gain the spotlight to voice their opinions or also help or motivate others? Are you someone who thinks it is okay to be seen? Or are you all of these people, depending on your fears and emotions, but never doing anything about it?

I believe it is time for you to become a shooting star, take charge of your life, and become happier for yourself. Because when you become a shooting star, and someone tries to bring you down, you are still going to have that light trail leaving everyone breathless.

Channeled song.

Dos Oruguitas - Sebastián Yatra

Masterlist

Pile II.

“It’s a wish, a beautiful, beautiful wish. My, my, you are such a beautiful star illuminating in the sky, dancing around me. Oh, for how I wish, no.. truly long for your touch-’’

Your beauty draws others, they crave your touch, your presence, yet it is never anything sexual. Your mind is their dream escape route, meaning they desire to escape the world only if it is in your mind. Your mind has an endless amount of doors to so many possibilities of fun, you can think of anything and instantly make it into something fun. You could write a one page book and instantly become rich with how rich your creativity and vocabulary are. Your mind grabs people's attention like a star would if it were displayed in a museum. However, this pile is not about you, but about your future spouse and how they see you as a star.

“When am I going to see you again? Let’s meet again, I really really miss you. I want to clasp our hands together, intertwine them, and feel your breath on my lips from the last kiss we had on our first night out. When can I see you again? You free? I want to hug you and tell you that I love you and we just met.’’

Have you seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? If not, I will keep the spoilers to a limit, but a lot of the kids fell into their temptations dealing with the consequences, and Charlie, a boy himself, never did because he was amazed by everything from his poor background. Your future spouse will be amazed only by you, everything around them will be ‘’their’’ temptations. Meaning, they will see only you as the perfect prize and meeting you is their golden ticket. Being with you is their prize, though not in a materialistic or objectified way. For them, it is from pureness and genuineness. You became their excitement; you made them see the world as how it should be with how bouncy and bright your personality is. You made them feel grateful for being alive, to experience things with you, to see the world how you see it, and-

‘’AND I WANT TO LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH THAT WHEN WE MEET AGAIN, I WILL FUCKING BURY YOU WITH ALL OF MY HUGS SO YOU CANNOT BREATHE, GOT IT? You are my shooting star and I want to love you, love you so very much. I want you to become my charm necklace; I want to make it have a star jewel like you. Thank you, thank you.. and thank you, god/gosh, I love you so much.’’

You open your future spouse’s eyes so very much that they feel comfortable being their authentic self. They have been reserved all of their life, feeling scared to open up about who they are because they are from a traditional environment, and that type of pressure has shaped their mindset into what they believe their gender is supposed to be in life. But you have lifted something deep and made them realize there is more to life and that it is okay to be themselves because they will still have people who love and adore them for who they are. So thank you, on my side, for doing that for them.

A lot of you actually relate to them on struggling to be yourself, and some of you still struggle, but remember, every single person is complex. There are more than eight billion people in the world, if everyone was the same, it would be boring. And sometimes boring is okay, and sometimes it is not. But, what is more important is for you to realize how special our quirks can be, and how beautiful we can be if we let it shine. So sometimes, you will not be bubbly and feel as if you wanted to be stoic, then do that. Our personalities are not shaped into one label or category of personality traits, and that’s it. If that was the case, then the word 'complex' would cease to exist. But it exists, and so do you—and your future spouse. Meaning, everyone is complicated and everyone will act differently and that is okay. And sometimes people do not have a lot of layers to themselves for whatever the case is, and that is okay too.

So, go ahead and be the star that you are, because at the end of the day, you can only be your own person, and someone else will be theirs. You are a powerful star that deserves to be loved by them, but also yourself. Ignore those thoughts of insecurities that rise, and push yourself to be a star for yourself.

Channeled song.

Dos Oruguitas - Sebastián Yatra

Masterlist

Pile III.

When you look outside to admire the night sky, or to see what time it is, you always see a star, or stars, twinkling near a moon, whether it is crescent or a full moon. And if you are lucky, you will see the moon shine brighter or become like a blur. But if people were lucky enough to really get to know you, outside of the reputation you hold or the mask you wore, they would see how many layers there are of you. One could say it is similar to a split personality, or others would say you would be a great actor. So would the star be compared to how many stars there are in the world. The real question is, what makes it more fun to hide who you are than let others see you? Is it chaos? Fear, shame? Or the fear of getting hurt again?

When a moon goes through a lunar cycle, it loses some part of its shape, and when you wear so many masks, you lose parts of your personality. But in this circumstance, you can never get yourself back, but the moon can. A star shines brighter, shows its beautiful side, but you cannot because you lose each spark from your personality.

A star and a moon are supposed to coexist, they are supposed to connect; you are supposed to coexist with all of you, flaws and all. Each part of your personality, down to the smallest details, is supposed to coexist. Why despise the moon part of your personality, the darker parts of yourself? Why hide this:

You are such an elegant and creative person. You are so incredibly perceptive, with a cold heart that focuses on logic and moves into the night like a shadow figure. You can solve anything quicker than most people, and you are so intuitive that you can guess any show character’s name or their motive. You move softly around others, surprising them and surprising them with who they are; some would call you a psychic or a therapist with how keen you are with others. In other ways, you are somewhat tricky but lovable, but around your environment, no one is like you, so you have always been the loner. Blending in with others is easier, and losing touch with who you are has made you feel sick about who you are, but at the same time it feels safer.

Why hide someone like this? It’s beautiful. You are beautiful. Your shadow self is beautiful. Your other side is beautiful too. All parts of you are beautiful.

The fear that lingers will be your downfall, do not let it consume you when you know who you are. Stop letting that fear eat you alive, and instead realize how beautiful your shadow self is. As well, as stop hiding it from you, allow those thoughts to be around you, because it is better to be all parts of you. Our shadow self is not what makes us evil, or in other words, a bad person as others have called you. It is what makes us, us, and that is rather a beautiful thing, especially to embrace.

It is time for you to embrace who you really are and let go of the imposter parts of you. My intuition tells me, ''if you do not let go of all the lies you put around you, whom you speak with, those who know the fake you, and the lies you tell yourself, you will go mad and lose yourself in the deepest parts of a void. If you allow others to know all of the fake parts of you, you will, in the end, lose all of them, and all that time spent and connection you made would have been for absolutely nothing. That pain will kill you further if you would have told them. And though, when you do, it will not blossom into something beautiful; you will lose some people, but those who are genuine and understanding will stay with you, and that is more beautiful than the forbidden fruit Adam and Eve ate. Would you prefer to be them and then be pushed onto Earth without the beauty of heaven, or is it better to become parts of a ripe fruit, and that is the only thing you wish to eat? Hear your inner voice and let go of everything. Start to respect yourself.''

Channeled song.

Dos Oruguitas - Sebastián Yatra

Masterlist

Pile IV.

A lot of people are drawn to the words “sun,” “moon,” or “star(s),” but no one is ever drawn to the river that glistens when the moon is out, when the sunset comes up or down, when the star sparkles, and sometimes you can see the shadow of it if you truly focus on it. No one truly focuses on the small details of the river flowing nicely each time so others can notice the greater gesture. No one ever thinks about the river the way others do with those words, and yet, the river is never bothered to let others shine so they know of their grand self. You are not bothered letting others shine so they can feel better for themselves, or if they already know, it does not bother you when they take the spotlight. Because you already know how special and great you are, and you do not need anyone’s validation or comments to boost your confidence. You are already secure about who you are, so why be any of those when you are the calming river itself?

You are someone who prefers to be in the background and to help others when in need despite what others think of you. You prefer to hide your grand gestures, allowing others to question why you would not want others to see the help you gave them. And though some people think it may be an act, you know it is genuine, and that is enough for you. Sometimes, you wonder if it would be better for others to know that you are, in fact, a nice and genuine person, maybe a little prone to being too kind, but at the same time, you know that others could use that against you, and it is better to go along with the reputation you built for yourself, ‘’heartless.’’ The people who know you well question that reputation and sometimes try to make others change their minds, but it never works, and you have already told them it is a waste of time. Because everyone will only see you as that, and when they finally get to know who you are, they will realize they are wrong and that is good enough for you.

You are someone who is already content with yourself, as mentioned, but with everything else. You already know that it takes a long time to change and to heal, or become better for yourself, because you were like everyone else. You used to follow the crowd or believe others about others, so in a way, it makes a lot of sense. Gossip can become addictive for others, until it comes back to bite them and they become the town's new gossip, or if it is with someone they care for. And for you, and the people you know, you are part of the bunch who strays away from the concept of gossip; you have surrounded yourself with people who care for you despite what others think, and it is something you pride yourself in (in which you should). But others think your pride is gross and do not understand the concept of what a healthy friendship and/or relationship is. The environment you grew up in, not a healthy one but rather very.. toxic, shaped you into becoming the same in your past, but as you realize how toxic and evil you became. You decided to change for the better and became a beautiful river that you were deep down inside your heart.

A river never changes, it always stays in the same location, may have others put something into it without the care of the river itself, but the only change is its color. The color of a muddy brown finally being cleaned into a transparent clear blue that calmly streams for the marine animals living in it, the land underneath the water, and so forth, yet it always tries to get rid of the unwanted junk inside. The same can be said for who you are; those unwanted junks are your intrusive thoughts and unwanted memories you try to push back into your past. And though it is beautiful that you were able to clean yourself out of that muddy brown river, it would be better to forgive yourself for the pain you have caused to both you and others, but also what had happened in your past. Because fully healing does not happen if the person does not forgive themselves, and you have changed immensely, so forgive yourself. It is not that you do not deserve to be forgiven (your thoughts), nor is it about being worthy, it is the thoughts of those you harmed, killed, abused, and so forth. And I cannot say what they should say, but all I can say is, “thank you for healing every day and becoming better as much as you can. Your change is incredibly beautiful and rather challenging to do, so you should thank yourself for it as well as learning to forgive yourself. Because that was a long.. long time ago, and instead of wallowing in the guilt (which is understandable), I believe you should accept what happened and use those lessons as an opportunity in your life as of now.”

Channeled song.

Dear Theodosia - Hamilition

Masterlist

[jovialsongdefendor]

I always wondered why the so much hate towards sonadow? Like what? Because they are two guys or what? It is because it gets on the way of your ship?

No, just because other ships exist doesnt mean that your ship is being attacked. Shipping is supossed to be fun and harmless and see h8w the characters interact with each other and explore more traits of their relationship and personality. Why suddenly everyone is making a big deal who ship is superior? Like a war? Where is the fun on being a ass?

The argument they bring that shadow is 50 and sonic is like 15 doesnt have any source and I noticed many people on this fandom dont ever bring any source of where they found that "confirmed" information, or others twist the information to their own benefits. No, shadow is not 50. If that was the case, then aang of AVATAR is a creep for ever be interested on katara. Is like your are frozen in time and you dont age and you have your same look and personality, like aang and that was happened with shadow. And about the ages: no. There is not confirmed ages for the characters. Sonic, amy, knuckles, tails, cream. Nobody has a confirmed age

[Sonics profiles being updated by removing the ages]

And if we talk about them being horrible to each other, the answer is simple: bad writing. Specially in recent games or any media like tailstube. Personalitys completely out of characters, on mostly all the characters (not only sonic and shadow). And lets not talk about the IDW comics. Many people say that they are cannot but, believe me, it is better that they are not cannon. They are so many plot holes that I will need to make another post to number all of them.

If you want to share your opinion, share it. Just be civil.

[tuesdaykiss]

“touching toes”

rafe cameron social media au

“he’s over more and more, had to give him a whole drawer. to be honest, kinda like seeing his trainers by the door.” — olivia dean, ‘touching toes’.

synopsis: after finishing her fashion studies at college in nyc, y/n moves to outerbanks to live with her grandparents. she worries about the loneliness that comes with being in a new place, knowing only her cousin topper and other relatives… that is until she is acquainted with a certain cameron.

part — 18 | 19 | 20

masterlist

later that evening, the two of you found yourselves sitting on the couch opposite the end of the bed. the air between you was still charged with the weight of your earlier conversation, but somehow it was lighter. rafe’s arm draped over the back of the sofa, fingers brushing against your shoulder absentmindedly. feeling a sense of comfort from this newfound understanding between you both, you leaned into him slightly.

the moment was shattered by the sound of the hotel door swinging open. sarah stormed in, her dress bag slung lazily over her shoulder and a pair of heels dangled from her fingers. her cheeks were flushed, her expression a mixture of anger and exhaustion.

“seriously, rafe?” she snapped at her brother, her voice remained sharp as she organised her things.

you froze, distance growing between you and rafe on the couch as he crossed his arms. he wasn’t surprised by her outburst, if anything he looked like he has been bracing for it.

“what now?” he questioned, keeping his tone cool.

pointing an accusatory finger at him, sarah spun around, “what now? are you serious, rafe? what now?” her eyes darted to you for a brief moment before returning to him, “that picture, on your story! the whole fucking world saw it!”

you swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks heat up. you hadn’t even looked at the aftermath, too afraid of what you’d find.

“so what?” rafe shot back, his nonchalance clearly irritating his sister, “it was a joke, sarah.”

she scoffed, “a joke? you posted a picture of her arse!”

sarah began pacing around the room, her hands pulling through her hair, “do you have any idea what you have done? people are going to dig. they’re going to speculate. and you’ve brought her into this… MESS!”

the weight of sarah’s words settled over the three of you, the room going quiet. rafe’s jaw tightened but before he could form a response, sarah let out a frustrated sigh and flopped onto the bed.

“i mean, seriously, rafe,” she muttered, palms covering her face, “could you not have just waited ‘til after my show?”

sarah knew there was nothing going on between you and her brother, you had told her that yourself. but she couldn’t help but feel anger over the stolen limelight; rafe’s post had sent her fandom into a frenzy, causing them to forget about her big day. you let out a sigh of relief, realising her anger wasn’t directed towards you.

you opened your mouth to say something, but sarah’s next words stopped you.

“because, oh… my…god! my rehearsal today was amazing!” she suddenly gushed, her voice abruptly taking on an excited, sing-song tone as she sat up.

“you should’ve seen it,” she continued, her earlier anger momentarily forgotten, “the lighting was perfect, the music was flawless and the models? oh, we killed it! i cannot wait for you to see it tomorrow!”

a smile crept onto your face, despite the tension. that was sarah for you — she couldn’t stay mad for long, not with something so exciting on her mind.

“you looked stunning on the photo you sent me,” you said softly, intending to steer the conversation further away from rafe’s post.

she beamed at you, “i just can’t believe this is really happening. i mean, loewe, really? i get to walk for loewe!”

rafe took the opportunity to chime in, his voice softer now, “i’m really proud of you, sar. you deserve this.”

her gaze flicked to him, her expression softening slightly, “thanks, rafe,” she said, though she didn’t let him off the hook entirely, “but don’t think this means i’ve forgotten about your post. we’ll continue that conversation later.”

rafe sighed, his hands up in mock surrender, “fine, later.”

yourusername

liked by sarahcameron, rafecam and 4,263 others

yourusername can’t sleep bc @/sarahcameron is walking for loewe tomorrow ❤️

view comments

sarahcameron i love youuuuuu

sarahcameron i’m so excitedd arghhh

yourusername i know, you’ve been jumping on the bed for half an hour

user real

sarahfan101 so we’re just gonna forget about rafe’s post?

user2 that’s what i thought, she hasn’t said anything on it

user3 do you think they’re a thing?

user2 i hope not that’s MY man

sarahupdates so proud ❤️

johnbr fine you can give her a good luck kiss (cheek only) from me

yourusername already did jb, 100 times

kiaracarrera if you look closely you can see me in between you both

itscleo squint and you’ll see me too

that night, the hotel room was quiet except for the faint hi um of the air conditioning. rafe had retreated to his own room. you and sarah were sprawled out in the plush king-sized bed, the soft glow of the bedside lamp casting a warm light over the room. she was scrolling aimlessly on her phone, still buzzing from her rehearsals earlier that day, while you stared at the ceiling, attempting to gather your thoughts.

she let out a soft sigh, looking at you with an expectant look as she turned, “so,” she began, setting her phone on the nightstand. “are we going to talk about it, or are you just going to act like my brother didn’t post a picture of your arse?”

“i was hoping you’d forget about that,” you groaned, throwing your arm over your face and laughing, “and it was hardly my arse!”

sarah snorted. “forget about it? are you joking? i’ve been dying to bring it up all day… i need answers.” she shifted her face to you, propping her head on her arms, “so spill. tell me, what’s going on?”

“i already told you—”

“oh, come on,” sarah said, nudging you side, “i’m not that stupid, i’m not falling for the whole ‘it’s a joke’ act, you’ve got going on.”

you sighed in defeat, your stomach knotting as you tried to conjure up what to say next. “it’s… complicated,” you mumbled, your gaze stuck on the ceiling.

a/n: have so much to do, but i’ll aim to finish the next part in time i promise

me when i have posted all my pre-made chapters…

taglist: @my-name-is-baby @yesshewrites1 @urbrunettebombshell @leather-n-velvet @fruitcakerafe @littlefreak-liz @wdwbts101 @akobx @lossfairy @marleymarleymarleymarley @jjmaybankmylovee @mbella607 @scream4mami @mrsdrewstarkeyy @honeyluvsatj

[stopaskinf]

Drabble from this: inspired by this video 👆🏾and a piece of drunk Gojo fanart I cannot be bothered to find rn.

Warning: toxic relationship, femdom!sugarmama!black!fem reader, college au! Subby! Kim hongjoong, he’s insane, talk of cnc but doesn’t actually happen, Hongjoong has an intoxication fetish lowkey, he’s insane

All Hongjoong remembers before he got to your shared home was that he had finals, and 2 bottles of Bacardi after finals.

He doesn’t know what time he arrived home, but he knows he was there before you; although, that doesn’t say much considering your line of work.

He ought to ask you about it one day. Hongjoong only knows two things about your job. First, It’s making you filthy rich. Most college aged people can only dream about having a black card, let alone use it so carelessly. Second, it keeps you out of the house; which he resents your job for.

He laid on the king bed still in his Balmain suit and matching loafers. His eyes were half lidded and glossy. He was being kissed by the deadly allure of sleep, but he was determined to see you.

“Oh…Hi baby. You asleep?”

You finally came home.

He lazily turns his head and grabs your free hand while your other supports your weight on the bed.

“Where were you?”

Even when his ears and cheeks are kissed red by drink, he’s still possessive.

“Work, hun.”

“Quit”

He nuzzles his hand further into your palm. His thumbs rub your knuckles in loose patterns.

“Baby, how am I supposed to take care of you when I’m broke…are you drunk?”

He nods, ruffling the bedsheets with his movement.

“Mhm…why you wanna know? You wanna take advantage of me?”

His eyes hold a mischievous gleam in them as he brings your palm in for a long, slow kiss. Anyone who saw him would have believed he was born to seduce. To lead good people to their destruction.

“No, goofy. I’m trying to make sure you’re ok.”

You rub his cheek and flash him a sweet smile. Hongjoong can’t stand it. It’s been weeks since you’ve touch him. He knows he doesn’t need to provide “sugar” in this arrangement with you, but that doesn’t stop his sweet tooth.

“Is there someone else?” He glares icily at you.

“No-“

“Cause if there is, I’ll kill them. I’m make sure there will be nowhere left to find that bitch when I’m through.”

“Ok, honey-“

“Then I’ll burn this place to the ground with you in it. In fact, I’ll sit outside and watch it burn. I’ll make sure you’re gone. I’ll be damned if some other bitch is showing you lo-“

His drunken ramble is quickly silenced by the intrusion of your thumb entering his mouth. He feels it rest on his tongue as your acrylic threatens to poke uvula. Thank god, he has a bad gag reflex. He may be rabid but he’s a well-trained dog. He closes the top roof of his mouth just enough to leave a faint ident on your knuckle; then he begins suckling on your thumb.

Small suction and kitten licks become pornographic as he hollows his cheeks and swirls his tongue around your digit. A faint bit of drool dribbles down his chin from his sloppiness. It leaves him unsatisfied, he needs something bigger, pulsing.

You slowly wean him off your thumb to see his dazed expression. His ears, cheeks and chest are now crimson and scorching. His eyes are glazed over with lust as you bring your spit covered thumb to his cheek. You see the erection forming in the trousers you bought him and a thrill goes through you.

“Mmm…C’mon, fuck me.”

“No.”

“C’mon, please,please, I’m so drunk I wouldn’t even be able to fight back. You could do whatever you want to me.”

He squirms closer to your form and bites your hand.

“Besides, I owe it to you don’t I? Just need to fulfill my bargain. Make my momma happy right? Need to let her use me and pour more alcohol down my slutty throat.”

He turns his head and licks your thumb. He gives it a small kiss and looks up at you as he says, “Need to please you Ma’am.”

“How ‘bout we talk about this in the morning baby.”

God, you’re gonna fucking kill him.

[watchingwisteria]

listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.

[kamwashere]

just was completely fucking eviscerated by andrew and ryan’s actors on actors interview btw. if u even care.

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[hauntingblue]

CAUSE THIS IS THRILLER (bark), THRILLER (bark) NIGHT

Usopp's outfit is so funny for reals

He got the whole squad laughing

Luffy enablers at it again.... (Robin.... I know.....)

The humor panels so far have been so good!!! God this arc is so funny

HE SAID IT‼️‼️

They look like birds 😭😭

It's just too good... luffy taking cerberus and zombies what can't he do

It's just banger after banger what can I say

Franky feeling for other people because of his guilt complex and sanji lying through his teeth and pulling out the women excuse to seem unaffected... yeah

Look at them.... look how they ate

Omg joyboy reference?? (No)

Sanji is rubbing off on usopp.... also chopper noticing that is sogeking's weapon akdhaksjak

ANOTHER SLAY!!!!!

Their priorities: I'm not strong enough, there isn't enough food, and nami isn't here

Franky going from wanting to kill brook for his jokes to making a joke like his after he hears his backstory... exactly (Robin was already enabling him before the backstory even fdagjsfha)

Sanji is altering his body and actually being on fire to communicate to us how fucking mad he is..... I need more of him going insane I do I do

My god what is he doing ALDJALAJALA

AHSAHAHQHAH THEY ARE THE SAME!!! naaah sanji wouldn't force a woman to be his wife

You cant see me but I am nodding my head in agreement over and over

You don't understand he altered his body to communicate to us how mad he is. He inploded himself and then reconstituted again. Those germa 66 genes are insane

You tell em usopp!!!! The first of many girls you've scared into defeat!!! Akdjqknql

Zoro zombie regressed to not trusting robin akdjaks he's still in there

ROBI-CHO SUPLEX??? HELL YEAAAAAH

There is zosa- [GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT GUNSHOT]

Super frapper gong.... he is doing combo shots with frobin... omg.... parents....

Everything is so fun I'm having such a good time reading.... and then zosan angst like damn I am being fed well here

[tevos]

////

[sophfandoms53]

Good day to be a striker fan LMAO

I mean the show literally made this incredibly obvious in Western Energy but some ppl don’t pay attention bc he’s an antagonist and that drives me nuts bc regardless of his villain stance in the narrative; his anger and pain are on full display in this scene it runs circles in my head constantly.

The eye twitch always stuck out to me too, this vendetta is incredibly personal for Striker and it always has been.

[tenwhiteandalusians]

is episode 8 the domitian arc ? more on this and EVEN MORE narratives i’ve been ignoring that the show said “actually,,,” about in 5