#i cannot believe i have to wait till like. december to watch this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kaepop-trash · 4 years ago

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Just make Johnny propose? I can't take it anymore.

How demanding of you. This made me a mess and I hope you will take responsibility for this. I cannot get over what a sweet boyfriend Johnny would be. I hope you like it!

The clatter of pots and pans clattering was the sound that filled the mostly empty restaurant that was barely open. (Y/N) sank her chin into her scarf and held the cup of tea the waitress just left on the table close to her chest. It had turned out to be very cold this winter, and being out at 5am in Chinatown was the worst idea Johnny had till date. Her teeth clattered and she took another sip of the tea, the boiling liquid still not enough to soothe the chill settling into her bones.

She turned up to give Johnny an impatient look.

He looked as unaffected by the cold as he was by most things. His scarf undone and draped over his neck as he sat back and relaxed into the seat, a sharp contrast to how she sat bundled up. He looked every bit the Midwestern boy he was at the moment.

A sign that read 'Merry Christmas' blinked red and white at the glass window of the restaurant, the reflection of it illuminating Johnny's face. The light shifted between red and white, making him look dreamy in the haze of her sleepy eyes.

She shivered again, shaking her arms to try to speed her slowing circulation, shifting back to hunch into her seat and look at the table. The movement gained Johnny's attention, who turned to give her a glance laced with amusement.

She shivered again, "Where is this noodle soup that you promise is only good in the ungodly hours of the morning?" She questioned, her voice soft.

"It's coming." Johnny promised, "Come here." He patted the empty space beside him on the bench, "You look like you're going to freeze mid-sentence." He scoffed with a smile, shaking his head.

"Don't gloat.” She glared at him, “Not all of us were raised in 11 degree winters.” She retorted, getting up to sit beside him and huddle close to his form. Johnny wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer and resting his chin on her head. She buried her face in his neck and slipped her hands inside his coat to wrap around his waist, still shivering.

There was a silence that settled between them. Johnny rubbed soothing circles on her back that made her drowsy, the early hours of the morning making its impact.

She was by no means a morning person, never would be. Johnny loved waking up early and had the disgusting notion that going outside at the time was a good idea. It was only her unfaltering love for him that led her to humour such perceptions at all.

When her hands felt warm enough, she retreated them to pick up his hand that rested on her thigh, toying with the fingers.

“Are you still cold?” He mumbled into her hair.

“No.” She mumbled back.

“Should I let you go?” He lifted his head.

“No.”

Johnny laughed, putting his cheek against her temple and squeezing her frame. She smiled at his fingers.

“Just wait till I take you home for christmas.” He chuckled to himself. "If you think this is cold you aren't prepared for December in Illinois." There was an excitement in his voice that was infectious every time he talked about going home.

“Your mom said she would wrap me in five blankets. She also promised to intervene when you have any brilliant ideas that involve outdoor activities.”

Johnny’s laugh reverberated in his chest. She smiled when she felt the vibration of it, moving to rest her head on his shoulder to hear it in earnest. Both of them sighed together.

“You’ve been cohorting with my mother to spoil my plans.” He hummed.

She pulled back just enough to look up at him, meeting his peaceful smile.

“She loves me. So she’s looking out for me.” (Y/N) scrunched her nose at him.

Johnny grinned, “I love you more.” He gave her a mock pout.

“Very debatable if you want me to freeze in a midwest winter out in the wilderness, Johnny Suh.” She clicked her tongue, “Very debatable.” She shook her head.

Johnny pulled her back into his embrace with a soft sigh, “Fine we’ll only see a few things. No hiking, I guess.” He clicked his tongue back.

She snorted, “You’re real cute if, after being with me for four and a half years, you believe I'll hike in any season. Aren’t you supposed to know me? The person who you claim is the love of your life?” She bit her lip, glad he couldn’t see her blush as she mentioned something he said in passing once.

“I do know you.” He pulled her back to face him, giving her a smile, “You would fuss about it the entire time, but you would go. And then when we got there, you’d be quiet because the view would be worth it. And then fuss again when you remember that you have to walk back.” He raised a brow, as if questioning if he was accurate.

“Damn.” She mumbled, “You do know me.” She conceded.

“Love of my life.” He repeated the words, gloating.

She reached out and put her fingers on his cheek. The now warm fingers tingling against his cold skin. “You really are, you know? I don’t say it enough, but you really are.” She gave him a tender smile.

“I know.” Johnny kissed her forehead, “You’re always saying it, just not in words.” He mumbled against her head.

“Yeah?” She laughed at the words, “What does that mean?” She questioned.

The food arrived, cutting the conversation short. Reluctantly, they pulled away from each other. She picked up a bowl and put it in front of him first and then pulled the other one towards her.

Johnny smiled at the gesture, “Stuff like that.” He pointed at the bowls. “And how you wait for me to come home when I’m late." He smiled wistfully. "Even when you fall asleep. You wake up the moment I get in bed." He laughed to himself, "Or how you can tell how I’m feeling.” He threaded his fingers into hers, lifting her hand to leave a kiss. “I know.”

She blinked at him, her cheeks turning more pink than they were from the cold before. She gave him a nod, turning her focus to her bowl. Johnny laughed, always finding pleasure in watching her be flustered.

“This is good.” She sighed after taking her first bite. “That soup is so hot.” She groaned, the sound proof she was enjoying the food.

“Told you.” He shrugged.

“I’m sure the fact that it’s freezing outside helps make this steaming bowl feel more appetizing.” She noted.

“Exactly.” Johnny looked up with a serious expression, she snorted.

After finishing the entire bowl of noodle soup, she felt sufficiently warmed from inside out.

“Fuck, that was nice.” She groaned.

“You know, when we have kids, you’ll have to do something about the swearing.” Johnny hummed thoughtfully.

She turned to him, looking as stunned as she probably felt. They had talked about this a few times before, as casually and Johnny mentioned most serious things.

As casually as he mentioned it now.

She knew him, she knew it was because she was in the business of worrying too much about most things. He did it to dissipate some of that and she was always grateful for it. It was little things like this with him, from the very start.

But there was a brimming anticipation in his eyes, one that felt new and made her heart beat a little faster. It also reminded her that she had been silent for a moment too long.

“I’ll learn when they’re still infants. They say you’re never prepared for parenting, that you learn as you go.” She shrugged. Johnny gave her a smile, one of hope and possibilities.

“Want to eat anything else?” Johnny changed the topic.

She gave him a sheepish nod, “Egg tarts.”

Johnny checked his watch, “Yeah I think the bakery will open in a bit. We can go.”

They stood outside the bakery for fifteen minutes now, every exposed part freezing from the crisp early morning wind from the nearby East River. Johnny rubbed her fingers occasionally inside his coat pockets as they stood close together.

The city had just started waking up, the first sign of dawn clear in the skies. Vendors passed by around them, the sound of life waking up slowly filling the air and making the cold feel less treacherous.

Johnny gave her a sympathetic smile, “I thought the bakery opened at 5:30.” He said apologetically.

“It’s fine.” She dismissed, taking her hands out of his pockets to slip under his coat. “Egg tart was my idea. Plus,” She stepped closer to him, hands snaking around his waist. “The cold isn’t so bad with you to warm me up.” He kissed the tip of her nose, putting his own hands on her waist.

“Hmm?” Johnny smiled. The shutter of the bakery finally drew open, the sudden metallic clang shocking them both. When a person walked up to the window to take their order, he asked for an egg tart each.

“I’m considering this cold practice for your midwest hikes.” She told him while they waited. Johnny turned to give her such a happy smile at the words that she laughed, hugging him again. “You’re so cute sometimes, Johnny. She scrunched her nose. “I love you.” She mumbled.

The man at the bakery window tapped the glass, making Johnny move to grab their order. He handed her one warm egg tart. He saw her eyes light up as he handed her the steaming tart, a bright smile settling on her lips. It made his heart pick up in pace.

“Marry me, (Y/N).”

She looked up, mouth open as she was about to bite her tart. For a second, both of them stared at each other in shock. Like neither of them expected to say or hear those words at the moment. The tart fell out of her hand, falling face first on the sidewalk. Johnny’s eyes went wide as he looked down at it.

“Shit.” She mumbled, crouching down to pick up the ruined tart. Her arms shook as she tried to lift the pieces with the tissue it came with, her eyes suddenly blurring. “Fuck.” She mumbled, her voice wavering this time. She held the desecrated tart in one hand, bits of it still on the pavement. The other hand she put on her face.

Johnny crouched down in front of her, bending his head lower to try to see her face with a short chuckle.

“Did you have to do this in Chinatown at 6 am?” She whined, hand still on her eyes. She was clearly weeping now, soft sobs filling the air. Johnny laughed, the sound making her remove her hand to frown at him. “I’m being serious right now.” She sniffed, nose red and eyes glossy.

“So am I.” He put both arms on her shoulder, lifting her up with him. “Who cares where we are?” He took the crumbled desert from her hand and walked over to a bin, tossing it while she stifled soft sobs.

When he came back, he put his palms on her cheek. “I’m not proposing. Not yet.” He tried to reassure, “I’m asking you if you want to. It didn’t feel right to just go all out without giving you a warning.” He wiped her tears with his thumb, squeezing her face. “I love you, (Y/N). I have for almost half a decade now. I’ll love you for at least ten more. Do you think you could be married to me?” His eyes looked at her with soft expectation.

Another sob racked through her, her face squinting. “Why are you crying?” Johnny laughed.

“Because I love you, you idiot.” She hit his chest.

“What a wretched thing to do, call me an idiot while I’m asking you to spend your life with me.” Johnny clicked his tongue in jest.

She groaned, “You're so exasperating.” She put both her hands on his chest. "Who else am I going to spend my life with?"

The elevator dinged open making her sigh. “I’m so tired. I hate Wednesdays.” She groaned, releasing her hair from the ponytail it was in all day. She slowly massaged her scalp to ease the roots, “Thanks for picking me up.” She spoke to Johnny.

He hummed, “Anytime.” His voice was distracted, she blamed the long day. He was distracted all evening, picking her up and taking her to dinner midweek. She wondered which of his clients it was that was giving him a hard time this week.

“I want a long bath.” She pictured it, smiling at the thought. “A cup of that nice rose tea.” She sighed, still trying to ease her sore scalp. “And sleep.” She pouted.

Johnny laughed, “And where do I fit into that? Shouldn’t you be a little more considerate towards your designated driver?” He turned to face her, dropping his bag on the floor.

“What makes you think I’m taking a bath alone?” She gave him a wink that turned into a blink because of how tired her eyes were. He scoffed, giving her a hum.

“Did something happen? You seem very tense.” She questioned.

“Nothing.” He said too soon, chewing on his bottom lip.

“You can tell me, you know. Unless you’re legally obliged not to. In which case you can change the names and places and tell me.” She reached her hand out to hold his tie, brushing it a few times, realising that it was one she gave him. Even the clip that held it together was the one she gave him as a joke, her initials on it. She didn’t have to look to know that he was wearing the cufflinks that came with it. It made her smile, looking up at him. “What’s up?” She asked softly.

He groaned, the sound soft. He reached out to bring her closer to him, “I was really thinking of so many places I could do this.” He kissed her forehead. “But the elevator just has to be it, doesn’t it? I remember your face so clearly from that night.” He breathed a chuckle out.

She furrowed her brows at him, “Can we not let this go? It’s been five years!” She huffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It is hands down the best anecdote I have.” He paused, his eyes turning from it's soft humour to something more intense. She felt his heartbeat pick up under her palm, it made hers pick up right with him.

“Johnny.” She whispered, eyes growing a little bigger.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He pushed her hair back from her face, “The way you tease me for being afraid of ghosts," She smiled at the words, eyes fluttering shut as they did whenever he ran his fingers through her hair, "How you hate people before 9am.” He smiled, “How your eyes glow when you talk about random things about which you have more knowledge than you should.” She scoffed, making Johnny grin. “The way you know every little part of me.” He sighed. “You’re perfect. And I’m so madly in love with you.” He took a step back, turning back to press the elevator’s emergency stop button.

“That’s illegal.” She stared at him.

Johnny bit his lip, failing to curb his smile. “Shut up.” She put her hands on her cheeks and nodded, taking a nervous breath.

When he bent down on his knee she put a hand on her mouth. “Are you actually going to cry again?” Johnny laughed, reaching into his pocket to take out a small box.

She shook her head and lifted her hand from her lips, “No." Her voice wavered, "I’m just picturing the security guard at his desk watching this from the camera. I’m embarrassed for you.” She groaned.

Johnny scoffed, “Marry me.”

“You really are very embarrassing.” She blinked the tears out of her face. “Imagine being legally bound to you.” She wiped her eyes. “Does this mean I’m Mark’s mother now?” He looked up at her with disbelief, when he opened the box she gasped. “Oh my god.” She closed her eyes, more tears slipping out. “You’re actually doing this.” She nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay. You’re actually doing this.” She nodded with a little more force. Her lips quivered.

“Are you going to have a breakdown? Should I get up? If you say no I’m telling your mom.”

She took the box from his hand with a choked laugh, “No–” He gasped immediately and she laughed, “Let me finish. No, I’m not saying no. Are you sure you want to do this? We’ll have to file so much paperwork.” She inhaled, staring at the ring.

“We’ll save so much on taxes though.” He hummed.

“Fair point.” She took the ring out of the box.

“No, I have to do that!” He said with indignation. She huffed, putting the ring back and handing him the box.

He took it with a frown, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), Will you or will you not marry me?”

“Why does that sound like a threat?” When he whined she laughed. “Okay, okay!” She put her hands on his cheeks, squishing them together. “Of course I will. I want to have your long limbed children, get a piece of that fortune you’re saving." He scoffed, "I want to grow old with you.” She pouted when his eyes welled up. “If you cry I’ll actually break down.” She groaned. He blinked, looking down at her hands.

He slipped the ring into her finger, admiring the hand. “No take backs.” His voice was gentle.

“Remember that when I’m intolerable during our wedding. I plan on getting married once. It'll have to be perfect.” She hugged him so hard that he almost fell back.

Johnny laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I plan on marrying once too. I don't want to share custody of Mark.” She buried her head in his neck. “I love you.” He whispered.

"I hate you for making me cry." She mumbled into his neck. "I love everything else about you. No take backs." She promised.

Send me an ask about a character from one of my fics in a scenario and I'll write a drabble.

Character from: Unintended Consequences

#nct johnny #nct scenarios #johnny scenarios #johnny au #nct drabbles #miscellaneous #unintended consequences #kpop scenarios #kpop drabbles #johnny drabbles

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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 years ago

Text

Snowflakes

Summary: Hyunjin has never seen snow and you want to change that.

Oneshot

Word Count: 768

Not Requested

Prompt: 14. “I bet snow isn’t that great.”

Growing up in a place where it snows is magical. I love it with my whole heart, but I had to move to a warmer climate to pursue my dreams. Which meant no more snow unless I saw my parents. So when I heard that my boyfriend, Hyunjin, has never seen snow. I was in shock, I couldn’t imagine living in a world without snow. So I decided to show him snow, with his approval, of course.

While we lie in bed next to each other, I face him, and he tilts his head to the side wondering what I’m going to say. “I wanted to know if you wanted to visit my parents for Christmas.” He agrees, “Well, yeah, it’s only fair cause we’re visiting my parents.” I smile and tell him, “I can’t wait for you to see snow for the first time!” With a smile, he rolls his eyes, “I bet snow isn’t that great.” I shrugged and scooted closer to him, “You’ll see for yourself.” He pulled me into his chest and told me, “But if you like it so much, I think I will too.” I nod, “I know you will.”

It’s December twentieth, and we have visited Hyunjin’s parents already. “I cannot believe you went twenty years without ever running through the snow.” He shrugged, “It was never something I thought about.” I nod understanding as I grab his hand. He looks over at me, pulls my hand up to his face, and places a kiss on it. The further we head up north. The colder it gets, I switch the air conditioning over to heat, for the first time in a year.

When we’re finally up north, that’s when I start seeing the powder hit my windshield. Before I can tell Hyunjin, what he’s seeing is snow. I notice he’s asleep, and I start driving more carefully. Avoiding as many potholes as I can and going five under, not wanting to wake him up. I grumble, shouldn’t the highway be clear of potholes? I roll my eyes and turn on my lights and wipers. The snow flies down in big flakes, how I wish to show Hyunjin these.

When we’re almost home, Hyunjin wakes up with a wide stretch. When he opens his eyes fully, he gasps and places his face against the window. His hands are on the window as he watches the snowfall for the first time. My heart warms at the sight, how I wish to take a picture of this moment. But, alas, I have to be driving. He turns over to me and says, “This is what you grew up seeing?” I nod with a big smile on my face and see he’s making the same expression. “Yeah, isn’t it beautiful?” He nods, and I pull over at a park, and he gets out. He grabs my hand, “Come on, come on!” I laugh as he drags me through the park to the middle. He lets go of my hand and spins around in the snow, and I, of course, catch it on my phone. Not wanting to miss out on him being in snow for the first time. After a minute, I put my phone down and join in on his fun.

I stick my tongue out and catch a snowflake, and he mimics me. “Woah,... it tastes like cold rain.” I laugh, “I’m pretty sure that’s what this is.” He takes my hands in his and spins us around in the snow till we get dizzy. We fall back into the snow, and I tell him to move his arms and legs back and forth. He gives me a look, “You wanna make your first snow angel or not?” His jaw drops, and he immediately joins me in on the fun. When we get up from our angels, he takes a photo. “First Snow Angel! What next?” We spend the next few hours just playing around in the snow.

While my hands were cold, my heart was warm. Watching Hyunjin enjoy his first snow with me made my heart beat that much faster. When we get tired, I see a stand handing out hot cocoa. “Two hot cocoas with marshmallows, please!” Our fingers, warming up against the heat of the styrofoam. “Isn’t snow great?” He nods, “I told you if you liked it this much, I was bound to as well.” I smile and kiss his cold cheek, “Thank you for enjoying this experience with me.” With his empty hand, he grabs mine and tells me, “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

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juiceboxesheadcanons · 4 years ago

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I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU

YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)

Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!

Illumi

🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails

🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf

🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather

🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)

🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨

🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-

🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody-

🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that

🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate

🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play

🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)

Hisoka

🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.

🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color

🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-

🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.

🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while

🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.

🧃 he got illumi a present

🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh

🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-

🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)

Killua

🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)

🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.

🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something

🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold

🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him

🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up

🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.)

🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.

🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens.

🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.

Gon

🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-

🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.

🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-

🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism.

🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no.

🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)

🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast

🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.

🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)

🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.

🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.

Leorio

🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.

🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.

🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable

🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.

🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun.

🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else

🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.

🧃 probably eats snow.

🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually

🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies

🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-

Kurapika

🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀

🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making

🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.

🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best

🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-

🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.

🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig-

🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”

🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-

🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?

🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.

Chrollo

🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing

🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know

🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between

🧃 cookies are a yes

🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma

🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf

🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat

🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration

🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon

🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas

🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas

Feitan

🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-

🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts

🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask

🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez

🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist

🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess

🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest

🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody

🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house

🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts

🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though

Alluka

🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights

🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her

🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house

🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)

🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something

🧃 snow angels are a must 100%

🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.

🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy

🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-

🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable

🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.

machi

🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything

🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah

🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice

🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest

🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all

🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it

🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)

🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it

🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day

🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.

Pakunoda

🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much

🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty

🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two

🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute

🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit

🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want

🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf

🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)

🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her

🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes

Shalnark

🧃

Phinks

🧃

Uvo

🧃

Shizuku

🧃

Mito

🧃 yes

🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family

🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything

🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though

🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house

🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps

🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute

🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas

🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable

🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”

Kalluto

🧃 this small little boy omg

🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad

🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(

🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets

🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery

🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes

🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it

🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho

🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def

🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him

Milluki

🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it

🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)

🧃 he loves snow like yes

🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything

🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes

🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure

🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt

🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else

🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly

🧃 we stan milluki here

THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.

#christmas #hunter x hunter #hxh #christmas event

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michaelbogild · 3 years ago

Text

Lines by Joanna Newsom

No one knows what is coming Or who will harvest what we have sewn Or how I've been dulling and dumbing In the service of the heart alone

Oh, silent, constant driver of mine: wordlessly calling from the end of the line, where, even though each hour I ever loved must queue and dive, still, you will not take my heart, alive.

And darling we will be fine but what was yours and mine appears to me a sandcastle that the gibbering wave takes But if it's all just the same then will you say my name? Say my name in the morning so that I know when the wave breaks

I fell, I tried to do well but I won't be. Will you tell the one that I love to remember and hold me?

See, I got gone when I got wise But I can't with certainty say we survived

Stay with me for awhile, that's an awfully real gun I know life will lay you down as the lightning has lately done

All we saw was that Time is taller than Space is wide

What happened to the man you were, when you loved somebody before her? Did he die? Or does that man endure, somewhere far away?

I don't know if you loved me most, but you loved me last.

Meanwhile, I will raise my own glass to how you made me fast and expendable And I will drink to your excellent health and your cruelty, will you have one on me?

It was a dark dream, darlin', it's over The firebreather is beneath the clover Beneath his breathing there is cold clay, forever A toothless hound-dog choking on a feather

the records they left are cryptic at best, lost in obsolescence.

The old veil of desire, like vessels that we fired, fell thin as eggshells.

But stand brave, life-liver, bleeding out your days in the river of time. Stand brave: time moves both ways, in the nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating joy of life;

Anyhow, I sat by your side, by the water You taught me the names of the stars overhead that I wrote down in my ledger Though all I knew of the rote universe were those Pleiades loosed in December I promised you I'd set them to verse, so I'd always remember

I called to you several times while the change took place and then arrived all night And I died But all these songs, when you and I are long gone, will carry on

That the meteorite is the source of the light and the meteor's just what we see And the meteoroid is a stone that's devoid of the fire that propelled it to thee And the meteorite's just what causes the light and the meteor's how it's perceived And the meteoroid's a bone thrown from the void, that lies quiet in offering to thee

Hardly seen, hardly felt– deep down where your fight is waiting, down 'till the light in your eyes is fading:

There's a big black spider hanging over my door Can't go anywhere, anymore

Who asked you? Asked you if you want to be Loved by me? Who died and made you in charge of who loves who?

And I saw straight away that the lay was steep But I fell for you, honey, as easy as falling asleep And that right there is the course I keep

And the tilt of this strange nation And the will to remain for the duration Waving the flag Feeling it drag

Hey, hey, hey, the end is near On a good day you can see the end from here But I won't turn back now though the way is clear I will stay for the remainder

You froze in your sand shoal, prayed for your poor soul Sky was a bread roll, soaking in a milk-bowl And when the bread broke, fell in bricks of wet smoke My sleeping heart woke, and my waking heart spoke

And it's my heart, not me, who cannot drive At which conclusion you arrived Watching me sit here bolt upright and cry For no good reason at the Eastering sky

bearing weight, taking fire, trading smokes, in the war between us and our ghosts.

And every little gust that chances through will dance in the dust of me and you, with joy-of-life.

We broke our hearts in the war between St. George and the dragon But both in equal parts are welcome to come along I'm inviting everyone

By the time you read this, I will be so far away Daddy Longlegs, how in the world am I to be expected to stay? In the night, in the night, you may hear me call Pa, stay your hand and steel your resolve, stay where you are, so long and tall

Our nature does not change by will In the winter, 'round the ruined mill The creek is lying flat and still It is water, though it's frozen

Our lived come easy and our lives come hard. We carry them like a pack of cards: some we don't use, but we don't discard, but keep for a rainy day.

Until the night is over, hold on, hold on Hold your horses back from the fickle dawn

I am easy Easy to keep Honey, you please me Even in your sleep But my arms want to carry My heart wants to hold Tell me your worries, I want to be told

There is a blacksmith and there is a shepherd and there is a butcher-boy And there is a barber, who's cutting and cutting away at my only joy

And that is all I want here To draw my gaunt spirit to bow Beneath what I am allowed

How I said to you, "Honey, just open your heart" When I've got trouble even opening a honey jar And that right there is where we are

My heart is a furnace full of love that's just, and earnest Now, you know that we must unlearn this

Squint skyward and listen Loving him, we move within his borders Just asterisms in the stars' set order

"Do you love me? Will you remember?" The snow falls above me. The renderer renders: "The event is in the hand of God".

And I been 'fessing double fast Addressing questions nobody asked I'll get this joy off of my chest at last And I will love you 'til the noise has long since passed

With your hands in your pockets, stubbly running To where I'm unfresh, undressed and yawning Well, what is this craziness? This crazy talking? You caught some small death when you were sleepwalking

And there was a booming above you That night, black airplanes flew over the sea And they were lowing and shifting like beached whales Shelled snails, as you strained and you squinted to see The retreat of their hairless and blind cavalry

You ranged real hot and real cold but I'm sold I am home on that range And I do hate to fold Right here at the top of my game

Then down and down and down and down and down and deeper Stoke, without sound, the blameless flames, you endless sleeper Through fire below and fire above, and fire within Sleep through the things that couldn't have been if you had not have been

You burned me like a barn I burned safe and warm in your arms

All the way to the thing we've been playing at, darlin' I can see that you're wearing your staying hat, darlin' For the time being all is well Won't you love me a spell?

And when the fire moves away Fire moves away, son Why would you say I was the last one?

And I rose, to take my shape at last, from the dreams that had dogged me, through every past, when, to my soul, the body would say You may do what you like, as long as you stay.

And, in your kindness, you put me straightaway in the cupboard with a bottle of champagne And then, later, on a train

Well I wish we could take every path I could spend a hundred years adoring you Yes, I wish we could take every path because you know I hated to close the door on you

And then a slow lip of fire moves across the prairie with precision While somewhere with your pliers and glue, you make your first incision And in a moment of almost unbearable vision, doubled over with the hunger of lions "Hold me close," cooed the dove, who was stuffed now with sawdust and diamonds

In martial wind, and in clarion rain, we minced into battle, wincing in pain; not meant for walking, backs bound in twine: not angel or devil, but level, in time.

The text will not yield, nor x-ray reveal with any fluorescence where the hand of the master begins and ends.

When cruel death debases, we believe it erases all the rest that precedes.

What’s redacted will repeat, and you cannot learn that you burn when you touch the heat, so we touch the heat, and we cut facsimiles of love and death (just separate holes in sheets where you cannot breathe, and you cannot see).

Here, the light will seep And the scythe will reap And spirit will rend In counting toward the end

All the livelong day If I have my way, I will love you But one can't carry the weight Or change the fate of two I've been waiting for a break How long's it gonna take? Let me love you

But it don't make no difference, now, and no-one's listening, anyhow, and lists of sins and solemn vows don't make you any friends.

I have got some business out at the edge of town Candy weighing both of my pockets down Till I can hardly stay afloat, from the weight of them And knowing how the common folk condemn What it is I do, to you, to keep you warm Being a woman, being a woman

And it pains me to say, I was wrong. Love is not a symptom of time. Time is just a symptom of love

Where i know that you can yield, when it comes down to it; bow like the field when the wind combs through it:

But though I tried so hard my little darling I couldn't keep the night from coming in

All along the road, the lights stream by. I want to go where the dew won’t dry. I want to go where the light won’t bend– far as the eye may reach–nor end.

I can't claim that I knew you best, but did you know me at all?

But it's mine. Or, at least, it's lent. And my life, until the time is spent is a pin-light, bent.

Though the long road begins and ends with you I cannot seem to make amends with you

In the folds and the branches, somewhere, out there, I was only just born into open air. Now hush, little babe. You don’t want to be down in the trenches, remembering with me, where you will not mark my leaving, and you will not hear my parting song. Nor is there cause for grieving. Nor is there cause for carrying on.

But inasmuch as that light is loaned, and, insofar as we’ve borrowed bones, must every debt now be repaid in star-spotted, sickle-winged night raids, while we sing to the garden, and we sing to the stars, and we sing in the meantime, wherever you are?

Rowing along, among the reeds, among the rushes I heard your song, before my heart had time to hush it

Easy, easy You must not fear You must meet me to see me I am barely here But like a Bloody Mary Seen in the mirror Speak my name And I appear

And the little white dove made with love, made with love made with glue and a glove and some pliers Swings a low sickle arc from its perch in the dark, settle down, settle down my desire

In our lives is a common sense that relies on the common fence that divides, and attends, but provides scant defense from the Great Light that shine through a pin-hole, when the pin-light calls itself Selfhood, and the Selfhood inverts on a mirror in an Amora Obscura.

When I've been trying with my whole heart and soul To stay right here in the right lane But it can make you feel over and old Lord, you know it's a shame When I only want for you to pull over and hold me Till I can't remember my own name

Then in my hot hand, she slumped her sick weight We tramped through the poison oak, heartbroke and inchoate The dogs were snapping, and you cuffed their collars While I climbed the tree-house, then how I hollered

At night, I walk in the park with a whip between the lines of the whispering Jesuits Who are poisoning you against me

And what do you remember most? The line of the sea, seceding the coast? Fine capillaries, glowing with cars? The comfort you drew from the light of the stars?

Failing this, failing this, follow me, my sweetest friend To see what you anointed in pointing your gun there Lay it down, nice and slow, there is nowhere to go

it was dark out, I was half-dead I saw a star fall into the sky like a chunk of thrown coal as if God himself spat like a cornered rat

but honey it’s been a long time since I’ve come to any use. And it hurt me bad, when I heard the news that you’d got that call, and could not refuse.

But always up the mountainside you're clambering Groping blindly, hungry for anything Picking through your pocket linings, well, what is this? Scrap of sassafras, eh Sisyphus?

Come across the desert with no shoes on I love you truly or I love no-one

And when I cut your hair and leave the birds all of the trimmings I am the happiest woman among all women

You asked my hand, hired a band "In your heart is all that you need Ask and you will receive," it is said I threw my bouquet and I knocked 'em dead

Haven't you seen what I've seen? Don't you know what you ought to do? I was born to love And I intend to love you

The borders of the land that man has girded All double-bolted and tightfisted Until we reach the open country A-steeped in milk and honey Will you keep your fancy clothes on, for me? Can you bear a little longer to wear that leash? My love, I swear by the air I breathe Sooner or later, you'll bare your teeth

From the top of the flight of the wide white stairs Through the rest of my life, do you wait for me there? There's a bell in my ears, there's a wide white roar Drop a bell down the stairs, hear it fall forever more Hear it fall forever more

And no amount of talking is going to soften the fall But, like after the rain, step out if the overhang, that's all It had a nice a ring to it when the ole opry house rang So with a solemn auld lang Signed, sealed, delivered, I sang And there is hesitation and it always remains Concerning you, me And the rest of the gang And in our quiet hour I feel I see everything And am in love with the hook upon which everyone hangs And I know you meant to show the extent To which you gave a god dang

Beyond recall, you severed all strings to everyone, and everything.

And in an infinite regress: Tell me, why is the pain of birth lighter borne than the pain of death? I ain't saying that I loved you first, but I loved you best.

And though our bones they may break and our souls separate, why the long face? And though our bodies recoil from the grip of the soil, why the long face?"

I think you saw their flares and kept me safely unawares In your arms

But there is nothing I adore apart from that whore's black heart

But I took my fishing pole, fearing your fever Down to the swimming hole, where there grows a bitter herb That blooms but one day a year, by the riverside, I'd bring it here Apply it gently to the love you've lent me

See how the infinite divides: and the divers are not to blame for the rift, spanning distant shores. You don't know my name, but I know yours.

We are tested and pained By what's beyond our bed We are blessed and sustained By what is not said

The wandering eye that I have caught Is as hot as a wandering sun But I will want for nothing more in my garden, start again In my hardening to every heart but one

So, across the years and miles and through On a good day you can feel my love for you Will you leave me be so that we can stay true To the path that you have chosen?

But for now, just dance, darling C'mon, will you dance, my darling? Darling, there's a place for us Can we go, before I turn to dust?

I see the blossoms broke and wet after the rain Little sister, he will be back again I have washed a thousand spiders down the drain Spiders' ghosts hang, soaked and Dangling silently, from all the blooming cherry trees In tiny nooses, safe from everyone Nothing but a nuisance, gone now, dead and done Be a woman, be a woman

I had a dream that i walked in the garden of Chabot, and those telescope ruins. It was there that I called to my true love, who was pale as millennial moons, Honey, where did you come by that wound?

Rushing, tearing, speeding home: bound to a wheel that is not my own, where round every bend I long to see temporal infidelity.

My mind is failing and my body grows weak My lips won't form the words I speak I'm floating away on a barrel of pain New York City won't see me again

Save up, up where the light, undiluted, is weaving In a drunk dream at the sight of my baby, out back Back on the patio, watching the bats bring night in While, elsewhere, estuaries of wax-white Wend, endlessly, towards seashores unmapped

Bleached the night with dawn deleting In that high sun after our good run When the spirit bends Beneath knowing it must end

Recall the word you gave: to count your way across the depths of this arid world, where you would yoke the waves, and lay a bed of shining pearls!

When the sky goes pink in Paris, France, do you think of the girl who used to dance when you'd frame her moving within your hands, saying This I won't forget?

Hey little leaf, lying on the ground Now you're turning slightly brown Why don't you get up on the tree Turn the color green the way you ought to be

Now the towns and forests, highways and plains, fall back in circles like an emptying drain. And I won't come round this way again, where the lonely wind abides, and you will not take my heart, alive. You will not take my heart.

I saw a rabbit as slick as a knife and as pale as a candlestick And I had thought it'd be harder to do but I caught her, and skinned her quick

I said a sort of prayer for some rare grace Then thought I ought to take her to a higher place Said, "Dog nor vulture nor cat shall toy with you And though you die, bird, you will have a fine view"

till we hear the telltale Boom, too soon– hotdogging loon, caught there like a shard of mirror in the moon!

There's an old trick played, when the light and the wine conspire to make me think I'm fine. I'm not, but I have got half a mind to maybe get there, yet.

It was dark, I was drunk and half-dead and we slept, knocking heads

And the moment I slept, I was swept up in a terrible tremor Though no longer bereft, how I shook and I couldn't remember And then the furthermost shake, drove a murdering stake in and cleft me right down through my center And I shouldn't say so but I know that it was then or never

Down in the valley where the fields are green Watch my luck turn, fro, and to Pluck every last daisy clean till only I may love you

I saw a life and I called it mine I saw it drawn so sweet and fine And I had begun to fill in all the lines Right down to what we'd name her

I wasn't born of a whistle or milked from a thistle at twilight No, I was all horns and thorns, sprung out fully formed, knock-kneed and upright So enough of this terror we deserve to know light and grow evermore lighter and lighter You would have seen me through but I could not undo that desire

A goose, alone, I suppose, can know the loneliness of geese, who never find their peace,whether north, or south, or west, or east

I'll hunt the pearl of death to the bottom of my life, and ever hold my breath, till I may be the diver's wife.

I call and call for the doctor but the snow swallows me whole with ol' Florry Walker and the event lives only in print.

This is blindness beyond all conceiving Well, behind us the road is leaving, yeah, leaving And falling back Like a rope gone slack

Bottle of white, bottle of red Helpless as a child, when you held me in your arms And I knew that no other could ever love me as you loved Love me as you loved but help me, I'm leaving

Dig a little hole not three inches round Spit your pit in a hole in the ground Weep upon the spot for the starving of me Till up grows a fine young cherry tree When the bough breaks, what'll you make for me?

But I saw the Bering Strait and the Golden Gate, in silent suspension of their golden age

And everything sloped like it was dragged from a rope in the mouth of the south below

Do you remember staring up at the stars So far away in their bulletproof cars?

I found a little plot of land in the garden of Eden It was dirt and dirt is all the same I tilled it with my two hands and I called it my very own There was no one to dispute my claim

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butterflyinthewell · 4 years ago

Text

Dad took some steps today. He needed the therapist right there because he was so off balance that he would’ve fallen without support along with his walker. One of his feet is curling sideways and inward because he hasn’t been putting weight on his feet. That will be a problem and he may need a brace to straighten that out. It’s related to the whole “don’t use it and you lose it” aspect of Parkinson’s disease, and I was afraid of this.

I hope he gets to walk again as much as he could before because he will be stuck in one room for the rest of his life if he doesn’t. I think that’s the one incentive that makes him want to get back on his feet. My fear is he will then proceed to get up at night like he was doing when he got hurt in the first place. He still keeps mom awake till 3 and 4am because she’s a people pleaser who will give until she’s dead. Black hole people like my dad love finding bleeding hearts like my mom.

I’ve told mom to just put her foot down and go to bed, but I stayed up once to see what really happens. Dad whines and complains if mom says she’s going to bed. Suddenly he will want to be put on his bedside commode (which takes forever and then you wait for him to go and heave him back into bed), or he will want a sandwich or just anything that makes mom have to be busy on his behalf until she’s wide awake again when she was sleepy enough for bed before.

Just...AUGH...every good thing always comes with shit right behind it.

I think I’m going to ask my counselor or psychiatrist if there’s a way to screen for ptsd. My mental health is in the toilet and I’m having bizarre dreams and nightmares several times a week. My sleep is disrupted now, and that’s never been a thing for me. I’m constantly hyper vigilant. I’m having anger outbursts and the kinds of thoughts that intrude upon my mind are horrible.

If something happens to mom, I am helpless in all the issues that matter. Food, I can figure out, but I’m worse than useless for everything else. I cannot move dad to his commode or wheelchair, and he needs some support to move onto them. I’m too small, he outweighs me by over 100 pounds.

Most of my bad dreams are things happening to my mom, or there’s word that something happened and I can’t get any info on if she’s okay or not. Another kind I have is I’ve contracted COVID, or someone who comes in to see us has it and spreads it, and I’m the only survivor. Other dreams are the body horror type where I amputate my own body parts with a saw and hand them to people because I feel useless. I had one recently where I literally ran up to Hannibal Lecter with a knife and fork and told him to eat me, but he took the silverware away and wouldn’t do it because “no, you’re not rude.” I said I was, but he wouldn’t do it. I was so angry! I was angry about that dream all day!

I don’t believe I deserve anything good and I don’t see myself as a good person. I don’t deserve help.

I’m scared a lot. Just...I can be sitting here watching a cute kitten video on YouTube or eating dinner and get hit with a wave of fear.

None of this is how my mind usually works. I’ve never been in mortal danger(recently), but I’ve had my routines and life disrupted to such severe degrees that I feel like I’ve lost control of my life, and to me that’s almost the same thing as dying. I’m autistic, and autistic people are more prone to trauma from ‘mundane’ things that a neurotypical person wouldn’t flinch at.

I’m just worried the “not life-threatening” aspect will immediately disqualify a diagnosis.

In June 2019, I went into burnout after home health visits for dad threw all my routines away and they’re still getting destroyed by it because they can’t keep a consistent fucking routine.

July that year was my dad getting his DBS batteries replaced. It was sensory hell because I got my period the day of the surgery and spent the whole time nauseated and cramping, but being silent about it...only to get called selfish and horrible for mentioning how bad I felt after we were all home again. (Outpatient surgery)

September 2019, mom’s gallbladder almost blew up and she was rushed to the hospital. I was alone with dad, without warning, and had to function using emergency reserves that I didn’t have because I was in burnout. I ran around terrified that any mistake I made would get me screamed at by both my dad and sister. Mom was out of the house from Friday to Tuesday. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me and yelled at me for melting down. I was almost out of meds and for awhile didn’t know if or when I would get them. I had to grocery shop with sister’s help and she kept getting upset at me for arranging the cart like mom did, and I ended up forgetting things I needed even though I had a list right in front of my face the whole time. I was that out of it.

An aid had to come bathe dad because mom couldn’t do it for at least six weeks. That happened whenever someone could come, so dinner, my showers and mom’s ability to do things were disrupted by waiting for the call that the aid was coming. Coverage only lasted six weeks and then the help was yanked the second mom was declared fit to lift more than 5 pounds again.

October 2019, our car died and so routines got thrown further out of whack because mom and I had to depend on friends and family for rides to grocery shop or go to church. Trips stopped being at a set time and turned into “whenever someone can drive you” so I was uprooted from my day with little warning, and we didn’t get a new car until early December.

December 2019: We Christmas shopped late because of the car bullshit, mom barely got the cookies baked in time, and it was just a super stressful Christmas season.

I struggled through the death anniversary of my dog because that year he was gone as many years as he had lived and I spent most of it in a disassociated state.

Then mom had her bowel obstruction the day after Christmas and was in the hospital from Friday to Sunday. Yet again she was gone and the routine was blown apart without warning. My sister gave me shit the first time I wore my new ear defenders to the grocery store. Dad did nothing but demand and demand from me when I had nothing. I ruined a dinner that I didn’t know how to cook and went hungry but made him eat leftover ham from Christmas.

January 2020, the COVID shit started on the news.

March 2020, I went to the grocery store with mom and shelves were empty like a nuclear war was coming. I was terrified that I would catch COVID and kill my parents by passing it to them. Church closed. Stores opened for senior hours at butthole o’clock in the morning. Weekend routines were destroyed. Choir practices stopped. More routine disruptions.

August 2020, I started having anniversary distress related to what happened to mom the year before.

Then dad fell and broke his hip. I still clear as day see him in his blue shirt, sitting on the stair chair, being pulled backwards out the front door by paramedics with the ambulance lights flashing red and blue under the midnight sky and white street light.

Late September, as I’m struggling a bit with the anniversary of what happened to mom, worrying about dad getting COVID and beginning to relax because “dad is going to be away till he can walk again...” there comes that phone call from shithole New Orange Hills saying they’re sending him home and we find out they lied to us about every promise they made.

October 2020, dad was brought home and now he’s laying in an electric bed in the family room where mom can hear him if he needs her.

Writing that down has me realizing I’ve been experiencing almost continuous upheavals to my routines. Routines give me a sense of safety, and every time things settle something else throws it all to shit again.

So either I have ptsd or I’m possibly developing it, and I’m scared because this seems so ridiculous compared to the reasons other people get it.

#swearing #dad fall drama #disabled abusers #emotional abuse #food mention #tw menstruation #tw pet death

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the1918 · 5 years ago

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Bespoke, Chapter 5 is taking me a stupid amount of time to finish, and I feel so bad about it that I’m going post post a teaser here :) This is about a quarter of the chapter. Hope you like it!

Teaser for Bespoke, Chapter 5

[Story No. 2 in the Compatibile A/B/O Universe]

Pairing: Shrunkyclunks (Cap Steve Rogers / Modern Bucky Barnes), of the bearded Alpha Steve and Omega twink!Bucky subvariety

Rating: Story Rated E for Explicit, this excerpt Rated T for Teen

Tags: A/B/O, sugar daddy!Steve

***

December 15

Thursday - 2:15 P.M.

Elevators in medical buildings always smelled like rubbing alcohol and iodine, which was definitely not Bucky’s favorite smell. He breathed through his mouth instead of his nose as the elevator descended the fourteen floors from Dr. Pete’s office suite, down to the ground floor.

Bucky had left work early that day to catch his monthly blood work appointment. Unpleasantly sterile smells aside, he was breathing especially easy that afternoon, for two reasons. First, he had finally wrapped up the enormous project he’d been working on in his lab for almost eight months, and he’d passed it off to the StarkTech testing department. Getting that load off his plate was a massive relief, and it came at the perfect time; he could now embark on his Vermont vacation (tomorrow!) with Steve and leave behind the weight of work on his shoulders. Second, the results of Bucky’s blood work had shown his hormone levels right where Dr. Pete had expected them to be, based on the Heat time-table they were anticipating. No early Heat.

Bucky was more stress-free than he could remember feeling in six months.

As he stepped out of the elevator to the ground floor, Bucky immediately felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out to find a text message from Steve.

[2:15 P.M.] Stevie: Done at Pete’s yet?

Instead of walking out onto the cold, winter-time city streets, Bucky found a bench in the lobby and sat down to respond.

[2:16 P.M.] Sent: Yep, just finished.

[2:16 P.M.] Stevie: Great. Any surprises?

Bucky knew Steve was referring to his blood work. He typed out his response knowing Steve would be relieved by the results, just as Bucky was.

[2:17 P.M.] Sent: Nope. Everything was where Dr. P thought it would be.

[2:18 P.M.] Sent: He says I look on track for April, maybe February if it comes early.

Bucky watched his phone. There was no response from Steve for a while, and Bucky worried that he may have spooked him with details about their time-table. The two hadn’t talked about Bucky’s next Heat much at all since their first and only therapy visit with Dr. Welsh, but Bucky knew it was hanging over their heads. If his Heat came within the conservative margin of error that Dr. Pete had estimated, they could theoretically be dealing with it in less than 60 days. With it would come Steve’s rut, and if they didn’t make any significant, tangible progress on the knotting issue before then, they could very well be dealing with something they weren’t ready for emotionally. The pressure, however silent, was there.

His phone vibrated again just as he was pulling out his gloves to head out onto the street.

[2:22 P.M.] Stevie: Good to hear. You got any other plans this afternoon?

Bucky frowned. He wondered if Steve was going to ask him for a late lunch, and he wished he hadn't already eaten.

[2:23 P.M.] Sent: No. Was gonna come home for the day, help you out with the lighting installation.

[2:23 P.M.] Sent: Why?

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: Because you have plans now.

[2:24 P.M.] Stevie: [Blue Serenity Spa] - You’ve Been Sent a Link on Google Maps!

His confused frown deepened as he clicked the link. It took him to the location of some sort of day spa in northwest Brooklyn, not far from their apartment. Before Bucky could text back a ‘???’, another text from Steve came through.

[2:25 P.M.] Stevie: You have an open-ended appointment starting at 3:15 P.M. Any and all services you ask for. I got you scheduled for a massage already, but you can change that if you want.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: They have my card info. Don’t you dare to even think about looking at the price list.

[2:26 P.M.] Stevie: Better go catch the next train baby ;)

Flabbergasted, thumbs paralyzed and seemingly unable to type out another text, Bucky decided to just hit the call button on Steve’s contact. He placed the phone to his ear and he suddenly felt antsy as he waited for Steve to pick up. There was no ‘hello’ when the ringing stopped, only Steve’s teasing voice.

“I thought I told you to head for the train?”

“Steve,” Bucky began, emphatically. “What is this? You booked me a spa appointment?”

Steve was silent on the other end of the line for a long moment, and Bucky wondered if it was because he was more nervous than his confident communication let on.

“Yeah, angel. I did. Look,” Steve sighed, “you really don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have assumed you’d like this, I’m sorry. I just thought—”

“Woah,” Bucky interjected. “Hang on, I never said I didn’t like it. I just… I guess I don’t know why you want — why you think I deserved—”

“—You don’t know why I think you deserved to be pampered, Buck?” Steve interrupted, incredulous. “Really? After you just worked your ass off at work for months to finish a project that no one else could have even dreamed of doing? The technology that Tony’s been yapping to me about since before I even knew you?”

“It’s still technically in R&D,” Bucky muttered, blushing. Steve had always been supportive and enthusiastic about Bucky’s engineering work, but it still never ceased to make him feel a little bashful when Steve got to actually raving about him and his skills.

“Yeah, and the finished product is going to be amazing, because Bucky fucking Barnes developed it.”

Bucky laughed and fiddled with a thread on his sweater.

“You… you’re sure? I’ve never really been to a spa like that before, and it looked really nice on Google…”

“And it will be nice for you, which is exactly what I want.”

“Stevie…” Bucky smiled to himself and shook his head, a little at a loss for words. “I really was going to come home and help, you know. It takes more than two hands to put up some of those bigger fixtures.”

“Doesn’t have to be your hands, though. That’s why Sam is here.” Sure enough, in the background of the phone call Bucky suddenly heard Sam’s voice, hollering something that sounded a lot like, ‘go get a fucking rub down, Barnes!’.

Steve chuckled, and then Bucky thought he could hear him walking away.

“Also…” Steve said, volume lower, “last night, you put a plug in your ass and begged me to nail you on Tony’s conference room table. I think treating my baby to a spa appointment is the least I can do when you’ve just fulfilled multiple fantasies I didn’t even know I had.”

Bucky barked out a laugh at that. He looked down at the clock on his new smart watch—another gift from Steve—and realized that he really did have to head for the train if he was actually going to do this. He stood up and grabbed his bag.

“Alright… alright,” he conceded. Steve’s smile was almost audible through the phone. “You’ve convinced me. Thank you, Stevie.”

“No thanks necessary, baby. I wish you would let me treat you like this all the time, but I’ll take what I can get.”

Finally walking out onto the cold and busy sidewalk, Bucky was just about to say his goodbye and hang up when Steve chimed in again.

“By the way, I just put in a call to Tony. You’ll be hearing from him very soon.”

Bucky’s stomach dropped. “Shit. Did he figure out what we did? I mean, cleanup was a bitch, and we definitely had to throw away that undershirt after using it as towel, but I think we did a pretty good job covering our tracks? God, I’m gonna be in such deep shit with him—”

“No, nothing like that,” Steve chuckled. “I mean, there’s no way he doesn’t know, but he also knows damn well that he better come to me first if he’s got a problem with it. Besides… He probably considers it payback.”

“Payback? For what?”

“A story for another time,” Steve promised. “Are you at the station yet?”

“I’m walking there right now.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go. Have a relaxing time, baby. You deserve it. And use your time there, okay? I don’t want to see you home before six. Hell— keep ‘em ‘till they close, if you can manage it.”

“Okay,” Bucky laughed. “Thank you, Steve. Seriously… and I love you.”

“I love you, too, and I really love you when you let me spoil you.” Bucky could practically hear Steve wink. “Bye, honey.”

As Bucky walked the familiar route to the subway station, his phone dinged again, this time from Tony.

[2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: I literally cannot look at your face after what you did to my conference room with your jackass boyfriend.

[2:44 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Do not come in tomorrow.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Consider it extra paid vacation, you disgusting pond scum.

[2:45 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Seriously. I better not see you or your vile beau again until January.

Bucky probably looked like an idiot laughing so hard alone in public, but he didn’t care.

[2:46 P.M.] Sent: Thanks Tony. Merry Christmas.

[2:47 P.M.] Tiny Snark: Yeah, and Happy fucking New Year.

Bucky stuffed his phone in his pocket and abandoned himself to his thoughts as he jogged down the steps into the station, marveling at the wonder that was his boyfriend. Sometimes, he still could not believe that Steve was his. Steve—who had not only been a supportive partner to Bucky from the very beginning, but who was also a powerful and attentive lover, and—most importantly—the single greatest source of Bucky’s joy. By the time he reached the subway platform, waiting for the train, the sudden enormity of his gratitude for Steve had begun to bubble up and spread within the depths of Bucky’s chest, and he felt fit to combust with it. He had to remind himself just to breathe.

How had he gotten so lucky?

***

I hope you enjoyed this sneak peek! Their relationship is about to head in a very special direction, starting in this chapter.

#my fic: bespoke #bespoke teaser

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 5 years ago

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APRIL PICKS!

And we’re back with new picks for the month!! Man, this has been some strange times we’re living in. I saw a post that said March felt like 300 days, while April feels like 3. I could not agree more. I’ve watched a lot this month, which isn’t a shocker due to our current circumstances. There’s a pretty big range, so there might be something here that you can check out during quarantine.

Here come the spoilers!

THE SOCIETY

I’m going to start with my latest watch from Netflix, The Society. Wow. I really enjoyed this one. Going into it I knew it would be like a Twilight Zone meets Lord of the Flies show, but there was so much unexpected stuff that occurred. Much like Degrassi the Next Generation, they went there. The students from New Ham, Connecticut go off on a field trip, but the buses don’t get too far due to the storm. This forces them back into town only (maybe) a couple hours from when they left. No one is home when they get back. No adults, kids, or others who were not on the school trip. The town is theirs and there is no way out. At first it’s all partying, but things take a dark turn fast and the teens must come up with laws for there to be some sort of order in this new world if they want to survive and find a way back to their real home. The 10 episodes go by really fast. It leaves a nice cliffhanger for season 2 (which is supposed to be in the works, but I don’t know if Corona affected that at all). This show definitely contains a lot of surprising twists including one very early on that is hard to predict. If you have watched this show previously or are interested in giving it a shot know one important thing.

This is the BEST character on the show.

I have not met one person who doesn’t love Grizz. He is the greatest. (The fan love for him really reminds me of the love for Stiles in Teen Wolf.)

DC’S TITANS- Season 2

At the start of April, I started the second season of Titans. As someone who does not have the DC streaming service I have to wait till the seasons are accessible on DVD. I watched the first season back in December and loved it, so I couldn’t wait to watch season 2. I was excited to see all the characters they were adding to the team. As someone who LOVES superheroes, but gets most of their knowledge through watching TV and movies rather than the comics, I went in not knowing a lot, which made it even more exciting. I would say my only main issue with this season was the staggering of plots. Because there were so many characters to follow and so much going on there were a lot of times when I was excited to start the next episode (because the previous one always ended on the BEST cliffhangers) only to have the episode involve a completely different story-line. While Deathstroke was the main villain for the season, sprinkling in CADMUS and finishing off Raven’s dad at the start felt like a lot for me. Most of the side conflicts added up to involving Slade, but looking back (because I did watch this at the beginning of April) it often felt like a lot in the moment. Some of the moments that were my favorite were finally getting the Nightwing reveal, seeing Bruce and Dick interact, being at Titans tower, hearing Hank sing and all of Connor. I think he was my favorite addition to the show. (I could be biased because I’m a Superman fan.) I’m upset with the ending and they better find a way to reverse it!! I would also like to see more of the team together next season because I really missed that too.

On a lighter note....

NAILED IT!

This is the PERFECT show for the crazy times we are in. It takes your mind off the repetitive news and is a great stress reliever, plus it is super funny and you will find yourself laughing uncontrollable. Maybe more in some episodes than others. Nailed it is the baking game show for people who strive to be better bakers in the kitchen, but are struggling when it comes to appearance (or taste...or both). In the half hour show there are two tasks for the three contestants to perform in order for a chance at the Nailed It trophy and $10,000. They are both often very difficult, with the second creation much harder than the first. Watching the contestants is hilarious as well as their reactions to baking and not having any clue what to do sometimes. I also love the judges. Nicole Byer is too funny and Jacques Torres is one of my new favorite people.

Plus Wes is just beautiful and I loved when Nicole called him the human form of Simba from the Lion King.

Continuing on with more comedy...

I know of several people who quote John Mulaney’s comedy specials on the regular, plus his gifs are EVERYWHERE. So it was about time I watched his specials and what better time than right now when I can use all the laughs I can get. I watched The Come Back Kid and New in Town and was laughing all the way through. If you’re already familiar with his stand-up you can enjoy some of these moments again below. If you aren’t then I HIGHLY suggest you check them out on Netflix or by simply YouTube-ing some of his best moments. (My computer cannot stop putting them in my suggested now.)

Returning to some of my past favorites this month....

(Some of these should not come as a shocker)

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

One of my February Picks is back (not that it ever really left). Zoey’s is the show that I can’t stop talking about and even if this past Sunday’s episode (not the one airing tonight because I obviously haven’t watched it yet-while he’s been bothering me I can’t wait to hear Max’s rendition of ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’) gave me issues because everyone was blowing up at each other and there were times I wanted to shout at the TV, I would still suggest this show to anyone. This dramedy has so much going on from captivating (and sometimes heartbreaking) plots, to realistic and lovable characters and songs you will quickly want to add to your personal playlist. It’s honestly just a feel good show that usually puts me in such a great mood (again, despite last week’s...) With only a few more to this season I cannot wait to see what happens next!! (If you enjoy the show check out my other posts on this page!)

NANCY DREW

The CW retelling of Nancy Drew is in the top 2 of shows that I currently cannot stop talking about. It’s still a little shocking to me that I have grown to like Nancy Drew SO MUCH. If you told me that at the start of the season I would have been like ‘really?’ But as this first season has progressed I really fell in love with the show and the characters. While we ended on an earlier cliffhanger than was intended it was still an AWESOME one that has left me with so many questions. I am so happy this show was renewed and I cannot wait till they can start filming the second season. Because I need more of these kinds of moments:

I’m pretty sure I ended my last post this way too. But come on these two are the cutest and deserve to be endgame!

Just like with Zoey’s check out this page for more detailed reviews if you are also a Nancy Drew fan!

I DIDN’T DO IT

I am SO HAPPY that this show is now on Disney Plus. I have talked about this show since it got canceled from Disney Channel far too soon (much like many of their great shows on that channel). But at least they had gotten 2 seasons and both are now available to watch on the streaming service as much as you’d like. (I think I already made it up to episode 12). In my personal opinion season 2 is stronger than season 1 mainly because it doesn’t follow the classic structure of the “I didn’t do it” episode. What I mean by this is starting the episode out with some sort of hi-jinks and having the 5 best friends exclaim they “didn’t do it” or this isn’t how they thought things would go. Then we flashback to events either earlier in the day or week, etc, leading up to the first scene’s events. This style can get very repetitious, but with funny plots and likable characters certain episodes work better than others. However, by season 2 this structure was gone completely and I think the show strongly benefited from it. I truly believe this group of friends felt like a teenage “Friends” sitcom. They had a hang out at a smoothie cafe, two of them were siblings (here twins) and each member of the group resembled a character from the classic NBC show. They even had the two that felt like Ross and Rachel like each other romantically. Who knows where the show would have gone if it wasn’t cancelled. Check it out and let me know if you find more comparisons.

And Last But Not Least...

WORLD ON FIRE

The most recent show I’ve started watching is currently airing on PBS after previously airing on the BBC. This drama throws us into the beginnings of WWII as we follow several characters from different parts of the globe, from England to Germany and Poland. I’m really loving the diverse cast and seeing through the eyes of so many characters during this turning point of history. While I have only watched 2 episodes so far, I already feel very invested in each of their lives and cannot wait to see what happens next. Already so many twists and turns have occurred in such a short amount of time. The episodes go by really fast and will have you thinking a lot after. If you are a fan of a lot of other Masterpiece’s Classics I would highly suggest checking it out.

I hope everyone is staying safe and well!

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inctlife · 5 years ago

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Twin Pregnancy | ML ~ Mia & Daisy

genre: fluff

phrase(s): 13; “yes, okay, I have gained some weight. But it’s because I’m pregnant” & 25; “my stretch marks are so gross” & 53; “was that a word?!”

age: Mia & Daisy = fetus / Sammy = 4

warnings: pregnant!reader, vomiting

_________

July 7th, 2031

“Mark?” you called.

Mark hummed, looking up from where he was, playing the guitar.

“Can you... Can you come over here?” you said.

Mark furrowed his eyebrows, putting the guitar down as he followed you out the room, leaving Sammy playing with his figures.

“You alright?” he asked, his voice quieter now, “is this about the weight gain again?!”

“No! Well, yes, okay, I have gained some weight,” you stopped, pausing to watch Mark’s expression, “but it’s because I’m pregnant.”

Mark’s eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting up, “really?!”

You nodded, “really. Two months. I just went to the doctor.”

Mark smiled, pulling you into a hug, “that’s great!”

“Do... Do you think Sammy will be okay with this?” you asked, pulling away and looking at your husband.

Mark shrugged, “wait till four months again?”

You nodded, “that seems right.”

“Woah, yo, I’m so happy,” Mark chuckled, “I didn’t expect this.”

You shook your head, giggling, “neither did I, but I never throw up for no reason.”

“And the weight gain,” Mark said, “hey! There’s the reason!”

“Yep, thanks for that realisation, Mark.”

August 10th, 2031 (vomit tw)

“I’m coming,” Mark said groggily, getting out of bed and running after you to the bathroom, holding back your hair as you threw up, rubbing your back soothingly, “it’s okay. Get it up.”

“It’s not like I have a choice,” you croaked before starting to throw up again.

Mark chuckled, letting go of your hair as you sat up, “you alright now?”

You nodded sleepily, relaxing into the feeling of Mark’s hand rubbing circles on your back before you felt another wave of nausea take over your body, “or not.”

September 19th, 2031

“Hey, Sam?” you called, “can you come here for a moment?”

“Coming!” the small boy exclaimed, the sound of footsteps echoing off the walls as he ran into the living room where you and Mark were.

“So, does anyone you know have a little brother or sister?” Mark asked.

Sammy thought before nodding, “Zihao and Sunmi! A-And Ava’s the oldest and that means that she has two little brothers!”

“Yeah, lots of your cousins have little brothers and sisters, exactly,” you chuckled, “so how do you feel about them? Would you like one?”

Sammy nodded, “I want a little brother!”

“Well, we don’t know if it’s a little brother, but your little brother or sister is in here right now,” you said, patting your stomach.

“Like do you remember before Haon or Jinjing was born?” Mark asked, “and Aunty’s tummy got really big because there was a baby in there.”

“Is that what’s Mummy’s doing?” Sammy asked.

You nodded, “that is what I’m doing, yes.”

“So I’m going to get a little brother or sister?” Sammy asked.

You and Mark nodded.

Sammy was still for a moment before screaming and running round in excitement, clinging onto Mark’s knee sometimes.

“Happy?” you chuckled, though you both could tell the answer already.

“What’s it’s name going to be?! Can I choose it’s name?! Are it going to be nice?! I hope it doesn’t steal my toys!”

31st October, 2031

“Mummy! Come on! We need to go!” Sammy shouted.

“Baby, I don’t think Mummy will come with us this year,” Mark said, “she’s gonna stay here and give sweets to all the trick-or-treaters who come to our house.”

“But I want Mummy,” Sammy pouted.

“But your little sisters are causing Mummy some... trouble, okay? So she doesn’t feel very well right now,” Mark said, “come on. We’ll go now before all the sweets run out and then we can come back and you can watch a movie with Mummy, yeah?”

Sammy groaned, “I don’t like my little sisters! They’re so mean!”

13th of November, 2031

“God, my stretch marks are so gross,” you moaned, expecting your growing stomach as you laid in bed.

Mark sighed next to you, “Y/N, stop saying that.”

“But they are! Look!” you exclaimed, before sighing, “I mean I knew twins were going to be big but god, Mark it’s horrible.”

Mark leaned over and got the bottle of oil that was supposedly suppose to help your stretch marks go down, opening the cap and putting some onto your belly before rubbing it in.

“I know it feels horrible,” Mark said, “and it’ll probably still feel horrible, even when they’re babies.”

You laughed, nodding.

“Having twins isn’t gonna be easy,” Mark shrugged, “especially not when you’ve got a four-year-old as well. But, hey, we’ve gotta work with what we’ve got and, you know, I’m thankful for you guys, I really am. You, Sammy and for these two. And you, you’re doing really well. So I know it’s horrible, but it’s okay, cause it’s not the end, there is so much more.”

You smiled, wiping away a couple tears as you opened your arms for Mark to cuddle up to you. He put the bottle back and pulled your pyjama top down, snuggling up to you as you wrapped an arm around him and one of his hands stayed protectively on your stomach.

“Thank you, Y/N. Just keep pushing and I’ll be here every step of the way.”

“I don’t want to hear the word ‘push’ for the next three months and again for a lifetime after that.”

24th of December, 2031

“Go to bed, Y/N,” Mark whispered.

You shook your head, waddling in the room and laying some more of Sammy’s presents under the tree.

“Please,” Mark whispered, “it’s not good for you.”

“I can still walk,” you whispered back, “besides, I’m not even tired.”

Mark chuckled, “you sound like our son.”

You bit back a laugh, going to recieve more presents from out in the garage where you’d hidden them.

“Just think,” Mark said, groaning as he reached up to fhe top shelf, “this will be times three next year.”

“Well at least this will be down,” you groaned, rubbing your stomach.

“Just go to bed!” Mark whisper-yelled.

“Not yet!” you whisper-yelled back.

7th of January, 2032

“I can’t believe this. I honestly can’t believe it,” Donghyuck sighed, “I mean, can you believe it?”

“I cannot believe it,” Mark said.

“I can’t either,” you shook your head, before leaning over to Mark, “what are we talking about?”

“I’m having a son!” Donghyuck exclaimed, “Y/N, I’m finally, finally, finally, after three daughters going to have a son!”

“You sound like Henry VIII,” you laughed, picking another chocolate from out the box.

“Well you sound like you had a good Christmas,” Mark chuckled, listening to Donghyuck’s excited cheers.

“How was Christmas in the Lee household?” Donghyuck asked, “wait that’s my name as well. Okay, in the Mr Mark Lee household? Full?”

“You’re telling me,” you groaned, sitting up and trying to stand up to put your rubbish in the bin.

“Twins,” Donghyuck winced, “must be painful.”

“Not painful just...”

“Uncomfortable?” Donghyuck’s wife asked.

You clicked your fingers, pointing at her, “exactly the word I was trying to remember.”

“Yeah, that and Sammy tried to talk to them on Christmas Day,” Mark sighed, “he ended up hitting Y/N’s stomach so hard and god, we all got so worried.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, doctor told us to come in for a check up and that was all okay,” Mark shrugged.

“But Sammy was in trouble with Mark,” you laughed, walking back in the room.

“He could’ve hurt them!”

Donghyuck laughed, “oh, strict dad Mark Lee!”

24th of February, 2032

“If I hear another word, I’m going to fucking lose it.”

“Just cause your hormonal doesn’t mean I can’t—“ Mark mumbled.

“Was that a word?!” you exclaimed.

Mark sighed, mouthing sorry as he left the room.

You did kinda feel bad, but at the same time, you couldn’t help it. You felt like you were about to burst and you were already just under a week over your due date. No amount of evening primrose oil could calm your hormones, either. Just an endless cycle of laughter and tears and screaming.

You both decided it would be safer for Sammy to stay at his Uncle Donghyuck’s for a few days.

“Mark?!” you shouted, feeling a cold liquid run down your leg.

There was no response and you sighed, trying to sit up.

“Mark?!” you called again, still to no avail, “your allowed that word now, Mark, please, oh my god!”

“What is it?” he asked, appearing in the doorway.

“My– My water broke.”

“Wh-Wh-Wha-What?! Are you serious?! Seriously? Your water has just broken?” Mark asked.

“I’m pretty fucking sure, Mark Lee,” you groaned, holding his hands to help you sit up.

“Okay, okay, I’ll– I’ll call an ambulance okay?! Just breath!” Mark shouted, running out the room frantically.

“You too!” you called, seeing his panicked motions, “well, here goes nothing.”

#nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct u #super m #mark lee #dad!mark #dad!mark lee #dad!nct #dad!nct 127 #sammy lee #mia lee #daisy lee #nct kids #dad!series #mark lee scenarios #mark lee imagines

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what-is-your-plan-today · 5 years ago

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Stark Spangled Banner Ch 60:To The Stars And Back

Intro The Time Heist worked, but at a cost. Natasha gave her life for the Soul Stone. Following a promise to make her sacrifice worth something, the Avengers continued their plan and succeeded in reversing the Snap. But along with everyone else, the biggest threat the Avengers have ever faced re-appeared.

Thanos.

Now Steve and Katie, along with the rest of their team are locked in a fearsome battle, between light and dark, life and death. Simply put, it’s a battle which they cannot afford to lose because they’re in the Endgame now…

Warnings:

“Language!”

Major angst- get the tissues ready.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist

So we’re almost at the end! I reckon 2 more and an epilogue and we’re done…well, I say done, onto one-shot territory as I’m not ready to leave the Roger-Stark-Barnes-Wilson family behind, just yet…

This one is quite heavy on the flashbacks- but I wanted to give everyone an little flash of the dynamic between Katie/Steve and Katie/Tony before she started dating Steve, which is something I’m toying with doing as a Prequel of sorts too from Iron Man through the Avengers…I’ll see how that one works out. We go right back to Iron Man 3 territory in this one. Hope you enjoy, please re-blog, comment etc. I live for your thoughts!!

“Happy?” Katie frowned momentarily as the man strode into her kitchen, followed by Steve. “Wasn’t expecting to see you today, not that you’re not welcome, of course you are…” she hastily added.

“It’s ok Kiddo, I know what you meant.” he said, chuckling softly “The kids not here?” “Jamie’s gone to the park with Bucky and Sam, and Emmy’s taken Lucky for a walk.” she answered. “Why, do we need them?”

“No, I was just gonna say hi but I’ll see them tomorrow I suppose.” he said, smiling sadly at the thought of the funeral. “But, anyway, I came to deliver this. It turns out even… even when he’s gone your brother has me running errands.”

Katie smiled softly as he held up the box in front of her.

“He left 3. One for you and Steve, one for Pepper and Morgan, and one for his Funeral….so…”

“His Funeral?” Steve frowned, as Katie opened a drawer and retrieved a knife before she walked over to the table. She had a feeling she knew what was in there, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she carefully slip the tape on the cardboard box and took a breath as she realised she was right. Inside was an Iron Man helmet, one of his many spares from his suits over the years.

“He’s erm…” she said, taking a breath as she instantly recognised which suit this had come from “He’ll have left a message or something, like he did all those years ago from Tennessee.”

Happy nodded “He did…the boxes arrived at the house today. Along with instructions that if he had, you know, then they were to be distributed accordingly.”

“Thanks…” Katie said, setting the helmet on the table and glancing into the box. There was another, smaller box inside, to which an envelope was attached. She smiled as she read her brother’s handwriting on the front. It simply said “Spangles”

“Thanks but I should be getting back.” Happy said, declining Steve’s offer of lunch as Katie turned her attention back to them. “Stuff to do before tomorrow.”

Katie gave him a small smile, placing the smaller box on the side. “Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me neither.” he said gently, dropping a hand to her shoulder “But we’ll get through it. We always do, huh?”

“I’ll see you out.” Steve said, as Happy gave Katie a hug before he nodded and the two men left the room.

Katie looked at the helmet which now sat on the table, and she took a deep breath before she picked it up and looked straight into the eye sockets. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, resting her forehead against the cool metal she held in her hands. It was from the mark 42 autonomous prehensile propulsion suit, the same one he had been wearing when Killian bombed their house back in December 2012, the one he had flown to Tennessee.

And then she was in another flashback, so vivid it was almost like she could hear, touch, feel her brother once more…

“This is fucking bullshit Steve!” Katie raged at him, as she stormed down the corridor “We are the Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement Logistic Division…If this guy isn’t a terrorist threat to our homeland, then I don’t know what is.”

“Hey, look, Sweetheart, I agree with you.” Steve tried to reason “But you heard Fury. We deal with the bigger threats…maybe he has a point, SHIELD can't go chasing off every lead on the Mandarin."

“I might have believed that if he hadn’t sent us in, no questions asked to save a diplomat and his family just over 8 weeks ago.” Katie shot back, “During which, I got my fucking nose broken. But yet here we were, refusing to do anything about a terrorist that is hell bent on taking as many innocent lives as possible.”

“How is Happy?” Steve asked gently as she hit the button for the elevator.

“Critical but stable, whatever that means.” Katie said, her tone slightly more gentle. “But that’s not why I’m pissed.” “I never said it was…”

“I just…” she turned to look at him as he selected the Man Ops floor “Isn’t this what SHIELD or the Avengers is about, taking down threats that…”

“If you ask me the Pentagon is scared.” Steve said, cutting her off. “And the reason the World Security Council voted that this isn’t SHELD or Avenger business is because that would show the world America can’t cope without us.”

“So instead they do nothing.” Katie shook her head.

“Well, not quite nothing…” Steve said, as he looked at her, a smirk on his face.

“Oh yeah, I forgot…Rhodey got a new suit a few weeks ago…” she coughed and put on a fake, deep announcing voice “I give to you the saviour of America, Iron Patriot...all they did was take his suit but paint it red, white and blue…” “If it’s any consolation, the world’s press also thinks that it’s ridiculous.” Steve said as the elevator door opened.

“I know, I saw. Joan Rivers’ ripped it apart on The Fashion Police.”

“I have no idea who or what that is.” he said, shaking his head as they walked down the corridor to the main STRIKE Operations Office where the team were working on some intelligence Widow had sent them about a potential weapons trader operating with Chitauri Weapons.

“Erm… Nova…” Evans said, looking up as Steve held the door open for her. He gestured to the screen which was displaying the news on the wall “You might wanna see his…”

Steve and Katie both glanced at the TV, which showed a gaggle of news reporters gathered outside the hospital Katie knew Happy to be in. But in the middle of them was my brother, with a lot less poise than normal.

“Is this live?” she looked at Evans. He nodded.

“Can you turn that up?” Steve asked, his hands falling to his belt and Rumlow obliged.

"Hey, Mr. Stark, when is somebody gonna kill this guy?" some douchebag recording with a cell phone asked and Katie let out a groan as her brother, on most likely, a dozen different television networks, rounded on Douchey Cell-Phone Guy who shrugged. "Just sayin'."

"Is that what you want?" Tony demanded, pulling off his sunglasses and fixing the cameras with a look to freeze hell over. "Here's a little holiday greeting I've been wanting to send to the Mandarin, I just didn't know how to phrase it till now. My name's Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you. I know you're a coward. So, I've decided that you just died, pal. I'm gonna come get the body. There's no politics here, just good old-fashioned revenge. No Pentagon, it's just you and me….” Katie dragged her hands down her face, shaking her head and groaning again. But the threat alone wasn’t enough for Tony, he carried on.

“And on the off-chance you're a man, here's my home address. 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. I'll leave the door unlocked.” He looked at Douchey Cell-Phone guy “That's what you wanted, right?"

Then he grabbed the cellphone, and threw it against a column, smashing it to bits. "Bill me." before he ducked into his Audi and drove off.

“Did my brother just give the Mandarin our address?” Katie swallowed her eyes still on the TV.

“Err yeah.” Evans said.

“Dickhead…” she seethed.

“Hey, look, he’s clearly a little emotionally compromised right now," Steve replied in an attempt to calm her down.

“Yeah, Cap’s right…” Rumlow offered. “He was being hounded by a bunch of idiots with cameras demanding answers he didn't have…”

“I have to go.” She said, turning and heading out of the door.

“Katie wait…” Steve hurried after her. “You can’t, I mean it’s not safe…” “I have to.” she said, looking at him. “If I don’t he’s gonna do something really stupid and I can’t watch him do that, not again Steve. It’s like he’s pushed that self-destruct button and we’re back where we were after Afghanistan and…” “Come here…” he said, as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, his hands gently settling on her back. She sighed and pressed her face into the rough materiel of his stealth suit, her arms sliding round his waist as she took a deep breath and letting his embrace calm her down, just as it always did. “Want me to come with you?”

“I would love the back-up but…” she sighed as she stepped back and looked up at him. “Trust me, it will make Tony even worse if he thinks we’re ganging up on him, plus it’ll get you in a load of shit with Fury so...”

“Fuck Fury.” he said, and Katie snorted. “You’re by best friend Doll, if you want me to I’ll come.”

“Course I want you to but, honestly, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. It’s best if I go alone.” Steve breathed heavily out of his nostrils. He wasn’t happy about this, but he couldn’t stop her. “Alright, but you promise me…” he took both her hands in his “if you need me, you call.”

“I promise.” she said, squeezing her fingers round his before she turned and ran off.

5 hours the StarkJet landed at the airfield just to the rear of LAX and she was transferred to a helicopter, which cruised down the familiar Malibu coastline. Katie loved DC, she loved New York, but there was something nostalgic about coming back to her childhood home.

“Ready to help me find this bastard? Tony asked, looking at her as she strode down the ramp which led from the Helipad towards the house, pulling her bag behind her. “Could certainly use your analyst skills…”

“What you mean before he finds us? Oh wait, that’s right…he doesn’t need to find us, he already knows where we are because you gave him our fucking address!” she said with an exasperated tone as he reached to take her bag off her, leaving her free to storm down towards the house in front of him.

“So we better get to him first.” He said simply as she pulled out her phone. “Who you calling?” “No one. I’m texting.” she replied.

“Smart ass, who you texting then?” “Steve.”

“Rogers?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow. “How many other Steve’s do you know?”

“I was just checking on account of no one actually, ever calling him Steve…” “Everyone calls him Steve, dipshit.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re the only one that has stupid nicknames for him”

“So what’s he want?” “Nothing, I just told him I’d let him know when I arrived.” “Why?” “Because he’s my best friend.” she said, pushing send on the message. “And a little concerned some maniac terrorist is gonna come blow my head off.”

Tony didn’t respond, and refrained from any further snarky comments when her phone pinged back a few minutes later with a message from Steve telling her to stay safe and call if she needed him. Although she did notice him trying to read the message so she flipped him the finger and slid her phone back into her pocket.

“By the way…” she pointed up at the ginormous Christmas Bunny Tony had bought for Pepper which was sat in the open plan living area “What the fuck made you think buying that was a good idea?”

Tony ignored her and made his way down the stairs to the basement/garage area.

“I've compiled a Mandarin database for you, sir. Drawn from S.H.I.E.L.D, F.B.I., and C.I.A. intercepts.” JARVIS was saying as Katie reached the bottom of the steps.

She shot Tony a look, “You hacked SHIELD again?”

He shrugged and she gave a groan of frustration as JARVIS announced “Initiating virtual crime scene reconstruction.”

And suddenly they were both in the middle of a hologram diagram of the destruction at Graumann's Chinese Theatre and Tony was glancing at some information files Jarvis had pulled together.

“Okay, what do we got here? His name is an ancient Chinese war mantle, meaning…”

“’Adviser to the King’” Katie said, cutting in as she read the information on the hologramatic screen in front of Tony. “He’s using South American insurgency tactics, talks like a Baptist preacher.”

“There's lots of pageantry going on here...lots of theatre…close” Tony said, pushing the information down.

“So he wants an audience…” Katie said, as the two of them spun round, looking at the crime scene reconstruction. Tony nodded as they strode over the floor.

"Tell me about the bomb, JARVIS," Tony instructed.

The A.I. spoke almost immediately. "The heat from the blast was in excess of 3000 degrees Celsius," he droned on. "Any subjects within 12.5 yards were immediately vaporized. No bomb parts were found in a 3-mile radius of the Chinese Theatre."

Tony shook his head again, his forehead crinkling. "When is a bomb not a bomb?"

“Things are not always what they seem…” Katie muttered hovering in the reconstruction scene and then the rest of the quote popped into her head “ ‘The first appearance deceives many’…maybe that’s what this is about. Deception. Maybe it’s all just…”

Tony caught onto the exact word she was about to say, their minds working in sync as they spoke at the same time. "Theatre."

Another second passed, causing them to snap their heads up and look at each other.

"He's covering something up here and blaming it on a bomb," Katie said, glancing down at the reconstruction and Tony followed her eyes, swallowing as he saw Happy sprawled on the floor.

“Talk to us Happy…” he muttered. The pair of them stayed still for a second, eyeballing the still holographic form of their friend, and then something else caught Katie’s eye.

"What's that?" she asked, noticing how Happy's finger was extended to an object landing a few feet away from his body.

Tony sauntered over to the object, picking up the holographic form of a pair of dog tags. Katie raised an eyebrow in his direction. That didn't fit in.

"Any military victims?" he asked JARVIS.

"Not according to public record, sir."

Biting his lip, Tony set down the pair of dog tags, turning back to the original holographic map. "Bring up the thermogenic signatures again, factor in three thousand degrees," he demanded as he climbed up on top of one of the units in his lab. Katie was completely lost now, he was following a train of thought that she wasn’t, clearly.

"The oracle cloud has completed analysis," JARVIS observed. "Accessing satellites and plotting the last 12 months of thermogenic occurrence now."

Tony quickly scanned the results that popped up, shaking his head as he sat down, feet dangling over the edge. "Take away everywhere that there's been a Mandarin attack," he added after a second.

"What are you looking for?" his sister finally dared to ask, not understanding a word of his scientific observations. After doing a scan of the map herself, she still had no idea what he was going for.

"I'll let you know when I find it," Tony murmured, his eyes darting down at the map until he pointed to a single glowing dot. "There."

Katie glanced at the screen. "Rose Hill, Tennessee?"

"You sure that's not one of his?" Tony asked, verifying his theory.

"It predates any known Mandarin attack," JARVIS replied. "The incident was the use of a bomb to assist a suicide. I must say, the heat signature is wildly similar. Three thousand degrees Celsius."

Tony pointed to the records that JARVIS was now accessing about the incident. "The victims were two military guys," he said before turning back to face Katie. "Have you ever been to Tennessee?"

"Can't say that I have," she answered honestly, shrugging her shoulders.

"JARVIS?" Tony called out once again.

"Creating a flight plan for Tennessee Sir…” Katie heaved a quick sigh and looked up at her brother.

“You can’t go on your own…” she said, shaking her head, “Tony…” “I’m not…” He nodded in her direction with a gentle smile. “I made you something…” “What?” she asked.

"Time to suit up," he said matter-of-factly he crossed his arms across his chest before flinging them out to the side, shutting down the display.

“You mean, you made…you made me an Iron Man suit?” she gasped.

“Well, Iron Woman technically but…”

“No no wait…I got it…” Katie laughed “Iron Maiden…”

Tony’s face split into a grin, but he didn’t get chance to respond as the doorbell to the front door rang. Katie looked up at Tony, matching his confused expression with her own. The two of them glanced at the image of the front door which was now being projected onto the screen to Tony’s right showing a car at the gate.

“Expecting someone?” Katie asked.

"Are we still at ding dong?" Tony announced, throwing his hands up in the air. "We're supposed to be on total” he banged his palm twice on the desk “- security lockdown. Come on I threatened a terrorist."

"There's only so much I can do when you give the world’s press your home address," JARVIS responded in his favourite sarcastic tone. Katie had to grin, clearly the AI though it was a dumbass move too.

Tony stepped into one of his suits and Katie took one of the guns from the store, tucking it into the pocket of her pants. Tony instructed Jarvis to open the door and they made their way cautiously up the stairs.

“Right there’s fine…” Tony instructed, holding his finger up as Katie walked behind him. In front of them was a tall, slim black haired woman. Katie glanced at her brother as he turned his helmeted head to look at her and then back to the visitor before he walked towards them.

“You're not the Mandarin are you.” Tony’s face plate slid back, his words at that point a statement more than a question. The dark haired woman looked at him and he spoke again, only this time he asked. “Are you.”

The visitor rolled her eyes “You don't remember. Why am I not surprised?” she sighed

“Don’t take it personally.” Katie said, smirking at the fact this was another one of Tony’s pre-Pepper bangs. He had enough of them to fill a telephone directory.

“Yeah, look, I don't remember what I had for breakfast” he shrugged.

“Gluten-free waffles, sir.” JARVIS supplied.

“That’s right…” Tony said, nodding. He turned to Katie.

“Okay, look, I need to be alone with you. Someplace not here, it's urgent.” the woman said.

“Normally, I'd go for that sort of thing, but now I'm in a committed relationship.” He said as he turned to walk into the living room. Two bags landed with a thud on the floor from the above balcony in front of him.

Katie looked up to see Pepper retreating away from the rails. “With her…” she said, pointing upwards.

“Tony, is somebody there?” Pepper called as Tony stepped out of his suit, Katie tucking the gun into her waistband.

“Yeah, Kiddo and Maya Hansen” he said, looking from his sister to the woman who gave a smile and shook her head.

“Turns out he does remember you.” Katie said, eyeing her up.

“Old botanist pal that I used to know, barely.” he finished.

As Pepper started walking downstairs Tony moved towards Maya and dropped his voice, “Please don't tell me that there is a twelve year-old kid waiting in the car that I've never met.”

Katie rolled her eyes and hugged Pepper as pushed the huge bunny out of the way and dropped off the bottom step.

“Hey, Tony said you were coming in early, but as you can see, we’re going…so don’t unpack…” She turned to Maya and fixed a smile onto her face.

“I'm sorry. With Happy in the hospital, I didn't know we were expecting guests.” she said, her tone was both polite but carried an undercurrent of annoyance at Tony.

“We weren't.” Tony said.

“No, I... “ Maya began before Pepper cut her off, looking at Tony with a smile on her face.

Oh dear.

“And old girlfriends!” Pepper said, the sweetness dripping off her voice made Katie grimace. Tony was in for it.

“She's not really.” Tony protested

“No, not really. It...it was just one night”. Maya agreed.

“Soooooo!” Katie said, clapping her hands together. “Happy… think I’ll go pay him a visit…” “That's how you did it, isn't it? Yep” Pepper continued, ignoring her.

“Yep, hang on, what, no, Kiddo you stay there…” Tony said, spinning between Katie and Pepper who was now looking at Maya.

“Well, you know...” Pepper said “You have saved yourself a world of pain”

“I’m sure….” Maya said, raising her eyebrows.

“Trust me.” She said, turning to Tony “We’re going out of town, okay? We’ve been through this…” “Nope.” Tony replied “Yep” Pepper shot back as the two of them started speaking at the same time as they often did.

“The man says no….” “Immediately and indefinitely….” “Honey... “ “Great idea” Maya said, nodding “Let's go.”

“I'm sorry, that's a terrible idea. Please don't touch her bags.” Tony said.

“This is how normal people behave.” Pepper’s voice was rising. Deciding she’d seen enough, Katie started to head towards the staircase that led to the garage.

“I can't protect you out there” Tony was equally as loud now, “Either of you.” he spun round to see his sister heading down the stairs “Where you going?” “I told you!” she said, not stopping. ““To see Happy.” She selected the keys for the silver Audi TT and let herself in as it automatically adjusted to her settings, then, less than 20 seconds later she roared up the ramp and out into the sunset.

“Call Captain Badass…” she instructed the hands free set as she pulled up the drive.

“Hey…” Steve’s voice filled the car as he answered after 2 rings. “You alright?” “Yeah, just on my way to see Happy. Pepper and Tony are having a domestic, but that aside, we may have something” “Yeah?” he asked.

“Tony ran a simulation. We did some analysis and found a pair of military dog tags on the ground, but there were no records of military victims. Anyway, long story short, after a cross reference we came up with another attack, in Tennessee, same heat signature, same MO, military victims but get this, it pre-dates any known Mandarin attack.”

Katie surged the car forward and up, along the road carved into the side of the cliff, following the smooth tarmac round.

“So…what, you think it was a Mandarin attack that went unnoticed?” Steve asked after a pause. “I don’t think this Mandarin is what everyone thinks he is.” Katie said. “There’s no bomb casings, nothing. Something feels off Steve.” “Off, how?”

“I’m not entirely sure.” Katie trailed off as helicopter which was level with her now, cruising along the side of the cliff in the opposite direction. Probably more press, Jarvis was right, they’d been hovering outside ever since Tony gave away his public address. But the more she looked, the more it seemed slightly stra to her. The colour was a beige camouflage.

“Huh, odd…” she mumbled, watching the helicopter, completely ignoring Steve now. “What?” he asked, utterly confused. “The helicopter here…it looks like a military…” and then Katie felt her heart in her mouth as she had a horrible realisation . “Oh Shit...” “Katie…” “Steve, I think…”

And as she said the words the helicopter fired a missile straight at the house.

“Katie, sweetheart, talk to me!” Steve’s voice was loud and she realised she had been screaming.

“The house…” she said, quickly spinning the car, the tyres screeching and skidding as she sped back, watching in front of her eyes as her childhood home exploded “Shit Cap, I…” “Get yourself out of the way, right now!” he instructed.

“Tony and Pepper are in there!” Katie yelled, “I can’t, I have to help…” “Look, I’m going to speak to Fury, just get yourself away damned it Katie, that’s an order...”

“You don’t order me to do shit…” she muttered, cutting him off as she hammered her foot to the floor as another helicopter started firing at the house. After what seemed like an age she skidded down and round the corner onto the long drive, screeching to a halt.

But there was nothing she could do. Tony was nowhere to be found. The Emergency Services bustled around the place, and they waited for what felt like hours for any sign or news, but there wasn’t any. Pepper was stepping through the rubble of the house. As Katie watched she saw her bend down and pic something up. It was a broken Iron Man helmet. She frowned and put it on. Katie continued to watch as her hand flew up to where her mouth would be in the helmet and Katie scrambled over to her as Pepper removed it and handed it to her with shaking hands.

Katie placed it over her head.

“Stark secure server…retinal scan accepted. Play back…”

Tony’s voice filled her ears.

Pepper, Kiddo, it's me. I've got a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time. So…first off, I'm so sorry I put you both in harms way. That was selfish and stupid, and it won't happen again. Also, Pep it's Christmas time and the rabbit's too big. It’s gone. Sorry. And I'm sorry in advance because I can't come home yet. I need to find this guy. You both gotta stay safe, that's all I know... I just stole a poncho from a wooden Indian.”

The helmet felt like it was suffocating her, and she wrenched it off a moment later, dropping it on to the ground. The tears were flowing down her cheeks now as relief washed through her system. She glanced up with tear-stained cheeks, as Pepper looked at me, her own tears shining in the low light.

"He’s alive…”

Steve made his way back to the kitchen to find Katie sat at the table, the helmet held in her hands and her face pressed against it, crying softly.

“Hey…” he said gently, dropping into the seat next to her, gently taking the helmet and placing it on the table. “Come here…”

She turned into him, pressing her face to his chest as she shook with silent sobs. His hand gently rubbed her back as he soothed her, waiting for her to calm down.

“Sorry…” she said, pulling back “I was just thinking…about the last time I saw this helmet and…” “Stop apologising.” he smiled, wiping her tears with his thumbs. She took a deep breath and glanced at the helmet.

“Oh, here…” she said, reaching out for the smaller box “This was in there for you.” Steve frowned and took the box, looking at the envelope. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes “That fucking nickname.”

“Open it.” she urged “I wanna see what it is.”

Smiling at her ever impatient nature, he tore the envelope open. His eyes scanned the writing and his brow furrowed slightly, before his lips turned up in a soft smile and he handed the note to her.

Hey Old Man. My dad once told me that no amount of money can buy a second of time, yet he had a hell of a lot of expensive watches, so go figure. This particular one I couldn’t auction for charity. I always intended to pass it to you, one way or another. And if you’re reading this note you’re getting it after my demise…so I best explain. I did a bit of digging and it turns out that most of the guys involved in Operation Rebirth and the Howling Comandos got one of these post the War. It’s a Wartime Rolex Oyster, probably worth a few bob or too but the sentiment makes it priceless as you’ll see when you look at it. (here’s a clue- check the back!) It only feels right that you have it. I had intended to pass it to you for your 40th…or your 107th, whatever you wanna call it, but again, as you’re reading this I won’t be there for that.

I know your Jamie’s surname is Rogers but there is half Stark in him so he’s not a complete lost cause, and maybe when he’s older you can pass this down to him as well.

I’m also assuming you’ll be reading this before watching the message I left as we both know Kiddo is an impatient brat so I’ll leave it there, I don’ t wanna spoil my heartfelt speech too much.

Whilst she was reading, Steve opened the box and he gently took the watch in his hand. It was silver, with a black leather strap. He gently looked at it before he turned it over and he instantly felt a lump in his throat. Engraved on the back was the Howling Commando emblem- they had adopted the wings from his helmet which had adorned their uniforms in whichever place they chose- with the words ‘To The Captain’ arched over the top in copper slate writing.

He gently handed it to Katie and she glanced down at it, turning it over to read the inscription, her fingers running over the writing.

“Wow.” she said gently, wiping her eyes “I’ve never seen this before…”

“It’s erm…” Steve said, his voice thick “It’s pretty…”

“Awesome.” she smiled up at him.

“Yeah…” he said as she handed it back to him, and he placed it back in the leather box, setting it to one side. Seeing that had brought a wave of emotions crashing back over him. Nostalgia, slight sadness at the loss of not just Tony but his other friends, and pride. Pride that even after he was gone they’d remembered him in such a touching and genuine way.

Shaking himself out of it, he looked at Katie and then nodded to the helmet. “Do you wanna do it now or…” She nodded and picked it up in a shaking hand, before she put it on.

“Retinal Scan authenticated” Fridays voice spoke “Greetings Mrs Rogers…accessing Stark Secure Server, hologram projection activated...”

Katie removed the helmet and placed it on the table, pointing it away from them as the hologram projected from the eye sockets. She took a deep breath as the hologramatic form of her brother appeared and he smiled at them.

“Hey Kiddo.” he spoke, “Cap…”

Katie wanted to speak back, so badly, but she knew it was pointless, he wasn’t actually there. Steve gently reached for her hand and she linked her fingers into his.

“So, I thought I better record a message, you know just in case it all goes sideways tomorrow.” Tony sniffed, sitting down on a chair “I’ve left one for Pepper and Morgan too and the gang, but I wanted to leave you your own. I hope that you’re watching this back and our plan worked, that everyone came back and we did it…” he took a deep breath “But there’s a couple of things I wanna get out of the way before we get into the soppy shit…first off, I’m leaving half my shares of Stark Industries to you, the other half goes to Pepper who will more than likely keep it for Moo once she’s old enough. If you both come to the decision to sell then, that’s cool. It’s probably run its course anyway. If not then…good luck taking it in whatever direction you choose, not that you need luck, you’ve proven yourself more than capable of running it pretty much singlehandedly over the last 5 years.”

Katie took a deep breath and wiped at her eyes with her spare hand, the one that was entwined with Steve’s tightened around his fingers.

“Second, most of the cash assets I have pass to Pepper, but I’ve left instructions that there’s some for you as well. I know you don’t need it but I want you to use it for the kids, however many you end up with. Uncle Nee wanted to leave them something. And thirdly, the house in Malibu. I knew we never got round to rebuilding it but I still own the land and I want you to have it Kiddo. That was our home for years and I watched you grow up there into the strong, beautiful woman you became so it only feels right. Plus it’s where we burried that fucking Turkey too so it’s probably haunted by the evil bastard anyway. There’s a fund set up as well which should let you rebuild it however you want. I know you probably won’t want to move from Brooklyn, I mean Cap’s lived there pretty much all his life, well, maybe, if you don’t count the 65 years doing time as a Capsicle or the time in DC and then wherever the hell you were when, well, you know…” Tony waved his hand “but, whatever, the point is you can rebuild it how you want and use it how you want, nice little holiday home maybe…” Katie took a shuddering breath as her tears were falling thick and fast. She’d forgotten all about that house, their home that had been destroyed. The fact that Tony had never sold the land so she could have it back in some form was astounding and overwhelming at the same time.

“So now that’s dealt with…onto the good stuff. First off, Spangles…” Tony spoke and Steve shifted slightly “I know we’ve had our differences…but I just wanted you to know when it comes to Katie I trust you implicitly, I think I always have done in a way. I never really had any doubts in my mind since that day I spoke to you in DC. To be honest you’re such a straight guy I trust you with pretty much anything, well, maybe anything…still not sure about our driving but that’s a different story.” Tony winked and Steve spluttered a chuckle. The fact that Captain America was a bit of a speed demon behind the wheel and been a long running joke amongst the Avengers since the beginning “You’re a good man with a good heart Steve, everyone knows this, I mean that’s the reason you were chosen for the serum anyway isn’t it? Because it makes the good better. I know I’m leaving my girl in good hands, but just so you know…” he raised his fingers to his eyes in the familiar ‘I’m watching you’ sign and Steve smiled “And that won’t stop now, because if you do ever let down I’ll make it my mission to haunt you for the rest of your life…” Tony smiled “But I know you won’t.. and because I know you probably still don’t believe me I wanted to tell you once and for all that I don’t blame you for any of the shit that went down. I Love you buddy, Take it easy.” Steve took a deep breath and wiped his tears with his spare hand as Katie gently squeezed his other again as hologram Tony shifted in his seat and his attention turned to Katie.

“Kiddo…” he sighed “I don’t even know where to start. I know I’ve said it and said it again, but my biggest achievement in life will always be how well and good and honest and…amazing you turned out, even with me as a role model. If Moo turns out to be anything like you when she’s older then…” he trailed off and shrugged “Well, I only wish I was gonna be there to see it…oh, and that reminds me, Spangles I’m counting on you to be there to vet all potential boyfriends for suitability….” Both Katie and Steve let out a watery chuckle at that.

“But yeah, where was I…oh, right…seeing how you took Emmy under your wing, then having Jamie and how they’re both growing into spectacular people…it’s awesome and I really couldn’t be any prouder of the woman you became. Never lose that will to do the right thing, never lose that Stark stubbornness, never lose that streak of ferocity that leaves everyone quaking in their boots. After everything you’ve been through…I’m just sorry that I’m bringing more shitty times to your door by meeting an untimely death, but I know you’ll get through the other side, you always do. Just remember, this was my choice to fight, my choice. So I don’t want anyone thinking they’re to blame. I think, deep down, I always knew it would end this way ever since New York. And rather this than some crazy old bastard rattling round in a home not knowing what day it is…”

Katie took another deep breath as Tony wiped his hand down his face.

“Anyway, please make sure they don’t play any soppy shit at my funeral. AC/DC, Queen or something will suffice…maybe Train, I dunno…” he winked and Katie smiled through her tears “And if Ross is there, give him this from me…” he raised his middle finger of his right hand before he chuckled “But I don’t know why I’m recording all of this anyway as I’m sure it’s gonna work out. I’ll probably be sat here watching it back and grimacing at how ridiculously stupid I sound and look, but just in case…I want you to remember that I love you to the stars and back my girl, I always will…and I’m beyond proud of you.”

And with that the message cut off, leaving the kitchen quiet bar Katie’s shaking, soft sobs. Steve gently turned towards her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug. She pressed her face into his chest, her hands sliding around his back where she gripped at his shirt her brother’s final goodbye to her echoing in her head.

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phasingoutfromthis · 4 years ago

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I’ve been sent these questions by @fragiledewdrop. I have many things to do, but seems like I will be procastinate a little to answer. My bad.

Planets: Life

Mercury: What’s your full name? Veronica

Venus: What’s your first language? Italian too!!!

Earth: Where’s your home? A flat in a little village.

Mars: What’s your sexuality? I swing every way.

Jupiter: Do you have any siblings? Little brother. His name is Giacomo.

Saturn: Any pets? None. I would love to have one.

Uranus: What’s your hobby? Well, for the most part is listen to music, drawing and writing.

Neptune: When’s your birthday? December 28th

Pluto: What time is it right now where you are? 15:42 => 3:42 p.m.

Moon: What are you currently studying/hope to study? A bunch of boring laws.

Stars: Experiences

Sun: Have you ever had alcohol? Obviously.

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class? Totally. I don’t remember how many I have failed.

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster? Of course. I love it. Wait, are you taking about EMOTIONAL rollercoaster? Because-

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes. Almost every month. I live near San Marino.

Arcturus: Have you cried out of something other than sadness? Stress. Strong emotions. Arguing.

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? You think I cannot forget something. cute.

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? To be a good person and to do good things. And the thing I obsess for.

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? No.

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? Yes.

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend? Yes. I don’t know how to be friend with people. I try my best to listen and be supportive, but sometimes my best isn’t enough. I feel mostly disconnetted by them, even if I care deeply, and this torture me. I don’t know if this makes some sense.

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t? I think everything I’ve done made me who I am now. Desire something didn’t happen would mean desire being another person, in the bad or the good. I really can’t say. There are things I wish I have done differently. Things I said carelessly. Things I had forgotten. Things I want to make up for. I’m not going to write them here.

Constellations: Favourites

Centaurus: Favourite holiday? Carnevale.

Orion: Favourite month? Not got it.

Cassiopeia: Favourite book? Nope.

Delphinus: Favourite study? It depends?

Hercules: Favourite instrument? To play? To hear? Either way: drums!

Gemini: Favourite song? The one I feel to listen that day?

Pegasus: Favourite place to be? Everywhere it’s fine, if there are not many people and I have a pen, a pencil and a noitebook. If I have my pc too is wonderful. If there are my friends it’s ok. Maybe a place without loud noises either way

Libra: Favourite colour? Every single one.

Phoenix: Favourite thing to wear? Comfortable things.

Aries: Favourite movie? I don’t have one.

Cygnus: Favourite weather? I really don’t know.

Hydra: Favourite sound? The wind.

Galaxies: Love/Friends

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend? Cristina. She’s strong and cool and funny. we know each others till the beginnings of my memories

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social? No.

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight? No. I believe some people are so awesome you crush on them, but I wouldn’t call it love. Love is dedition and cure and knowledge and so many things that can’t be present when you first “bump” into a person you like.

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss?The first with a game. I think I was 14-ish?

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? I don’t have a flirt mode.

Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much? Yes. It scares the hell out of me.

Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to? No, I wouldn’t date my brother, Bleah.

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now? I LOVE someone right now.

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes, it was a little embarassing.

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity? Date? No. Make friends? Sometimes happened I have tried to reach someone out of pity. Sometimes we become friends. Sometimes we take other ways.

Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship? Only in serious case.

Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup? Yes. I cried a lot. whole lakes went salad for my crying (JK the last one)

Other stuff: Wishes

Comet: What’s your big dream? Being indipendent from my family.

Asteroid: What does your dream life look like? The one of everybody. A home to return to. Travels and stories. Meeting people, listen and watching things I love. Writing. Be better at my job, at my friends, at my partner and family. I would love to be at ease with myself and others.

Meteor: What’s something you wish you could tell, but can’t? If I can’t tell I can’t write.

Nebula: If you could undo one thing in your life, what would it be? Isn’t the same question of before? Ok, if you desire my anser so much, I wish I didn’t lie about grades. No, wait. I wish I didn’t trust everybody so easily. No... yes. I think is more about the things I would have done better than the ones I did. a thing I would do: go to my Great grandmother for the last time. I wish to being able to fulfill the promise I did to her.

Shooting Star: If you could bring back one thing, what would it be? My grandmother’s ring. I lost it when I was little.

Pulsar: What do you hope to do in the next 10 years? Travel. Learn new things.

Supernova: What’s one thing you want to do before you die? Write my testament.

Quasar: If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be? I’M NOT GOING TO ANSWER THIS.

Wormhole: What’s something you wish would happen, but know won’t? My family to actually deal with their problems in a way that benefit them.

Black Hole: What’s the last thing you want to see? As long as it isn’t a butterly or something like that I’m ok.

Ok, it wasn’t funny as I think it was. so I’ll understand if the people I nominate will not do it. I’ll try. @fungidominatrix @newtoothwhosdis

#about me

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lockdownuk · 4 years ago

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Lockdown Diary Part 9

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 241: Shit day at work. To cut a long story short, I could complete a task Sueanne gave to me and then I got it in the ear, including a snotty email ay 5:40pm. Pissed off.

Day 242: Had a meeting with Sueanne (our weekly 1-2-1 actually) and she was alright. I feel much better tonight. Last night I didn’t even have an appetitie - unheard of! Going to make up for that tonight, pie and loads of veg! A much better day. Ridiculously, I believe yesterday was all my own fault - I take work for granted sometimes and I let myself down by ignoring the urgency of a task just because it was Sueanne asking me to do it and she was a peer. She is now my boss, and I should respect that.

Day 243: So-so day at work. It’s strange how used to work I am after over six months on furlough. It’s been less than two months back but all the highs and lows amd frustrations are commonplace. Most importantly, it being Thursday, I cannot wait for tomorrow eveninga dn to kick back, drink and smoke. Spoke to dad this morning, he’s same as...that’s always good to know. Sugar levels have been a fucking roller coaster today, and it has really fucked me off! No salad at lunch due to them being so fucking high when I got back from my walk. It ended up being my tea. Sarted watching The Undoing...it’s OK.

Day 244: Glad it is Friday. Just cooking a (very hot) chicken madras, cracked open my first beer. Gonna eat, drink, smoke and watch a good film.

Day 245: Gold was the film I watched last night, with Matthew McConaughey and it was a good choice. I then watch a Kevin Hart stand up show on Netflix...very Eddie Murphy, very funny. I did a 12 km walk today...fucking felt it in my legs. Walked the footpath from Stoke Doyle road to Benefield road for the first time. I liked it and it comes out between Lytham Park and Wakerley Close....I posted on FB about the fact that when I move to Oundle, Clifton Drive was the last street heading out of town. Saw Becks on the walk down Benefield road, She mentioned she’s tired of lockdown. I replied that I’m tired of the virus!

Day 246: Up at 1pm, nice long walk, ordered new slippers and waterproof jacket (my Craghopper is bust again).

Day 247: I screwed up at work today, went for a (ridiculously) late lunch right when I was meant to be at an online meeting that Sueanne had reminded me about in the morning. There’s mitigation but, when push comes to shove, I fucked up and now Sueanne’s on the warpath - one more slip up and it’ll be an offical disciplinary matter.

Day 248: Suzanne wants me to troubleshoot a ticket she has in her queue, some database request for a Cork guy. It’s a test and it’s fucking me off.

I did testing for a network change tonight...8 till 11:15pm.

Elliot and Aaron cleaned the windows today. It was nice to see them.

Rita sent a couple of emails recently. Dad’s ear is all clear but Paul has got testicular cancer.

Day 249: New waterproof jacket arrived today. It’s very nice, bargain for £25 odd. Also picked up slippers from M&S food hall in Corby so, while over their, did a shop at Tesco’s...£109 mainly booze.

By the time I was back, I ended up doing my evening walk at 9.30pm!

Day 250: Leigh from Oundle Chronicle has got back to me. She (he?) has selected the photos that are going to be in the article and wants me to write a sentence on each - where they were taken and what inspited me to do so. Whether that means the stuff I wrote before is not going to be used, or not, I dunno! New slippers are OK and the new jacket is still impressing me.

Day 251: Typing on Day 252. Usual Friday, beers, meatballs, pizza, long chat with Fog. I should mention that, as we approach the end of Lockdown2 in England, Boris and his government have laid out a three tier structure for how the second lockdown will be eased. It’s caused confusion and consternation across the board. None of it affects me, still isolating like I was on day 1. Day 252: Totally forgot about my diary entry yesterday! Up at 1pm, nice long walk, nipped rong Elliots to pay for my windows, had a chat with him, Artron and Camilla - it’s so nice to socialise! Gonna make fish pie and supp a few ales. Day 253: The weekend is over way too quickly. It’s 7.30pm on Sunday as I type and I wish it wasn’t. I wish it was 7.30pm on Friday. Day 254: In a meeting, a working Zoom, with Andy Ashler in the US re: qfiniti, which Sueanne pissed me off about earlier in te day (RCI diary updated), but the meeting went well. I am desparately trying to buy an iPad on Black Monday. As usual with tech, I cannot make my mind up which to buy! Day 255: I haven’t bought an iPad....I’ll wait for the 10.2″ iPad to come down in price. I had more involvement with Andy Ashler and in the US with the Qfiniti project at work. I’m really enjoying it, it’s very technical...although I didn’t finish ‘til 6pm because of it. The Oundle Chronicle is out and an article about me and my pics is on the back page. Leigh, the editor, sent it to me electronically. It’s good. I am chuffed! Day 256: I booked some holidays today, making sure that I didn’t include any days off in the week December 14-18 (SB’s off). So, this coming Friday (4th Dec), Next Weds-Fri and Monday 21st. I know I have only been back from Furlough a couple of months but I am more than ready for some kick-back time. 1-2-1 with SB today, it was a relaxed affair, most espcially becaus eof my success thus far with the Qfiniti project - that being said, I got pretty much nowhere with it today. Ordered a couple of long sleeved Ts and a fleeced hoody from a shop called Doubletwo today, well cheap in the sale. I saw half a dozen joggers on the Milton Road blind bend tonight, oblivious to any other potential path user. I posted about it (in my own, sarcastic way) on the Oundle Chatter FB group. It was met how I’d expected plus some direct digs so I deleted it. Cowardly but, I figure, I don’t get my point across, the vast majority of joggers really don’t think they are doing anything wrong by bulldozing there way around town and, lastly, I couldn’t be bothered with the flak, and its tennis like back-and-forth!

Day 257: Got tomorrow off so worked late tying up loose ends, including the qfiniti project - fucking nuts really, making sure no one asks any questions of SB or the team, in terms of my work load, for just one day off! Still, just had tea, cracked open a beer and am watching Shaun of the Dead. Nice.

Day 258: The main thing I did today is walk. It was about 12km but felt much longer ‘cos it was wintry, pissing down, windy and slippery as fuck. And I really enjoyed it! Badge messaged me today to ask how I am and, in replying, I mentioned that I think I am becoming addicted to walking...it wasn’t a throwaway comment. Just cooked up a chilli (which I think I have ruined with a Knorr beef stock pot), and will tuck in with beers, smokes and telly. While it’s been a day off, this Friday evening will be as all others are at the moment, late, drunken and solitary fun - no doubt.

Day 259: Typing on day 260. That chilli last night was actually OK. Plus I ‘invented’ a meatball wrap - moving on from the TikTok ham and cheese wrap you fold into the toaster, I tried the same with meatballs but no fucking way could I fold it into the toaster slot (pissed up kitchen shenanigans), so I wrapped it in tin foil and heated it in the oven, Fucking delicious. I watched Shaun of the Dead. I think it’s the first time since its release and I couldn’t help thinking “zombies just aren’t like that [in real life]” Wtf?

Day 260: I was quite sensible (for a Saturday) last night, in bed by 2am, up at my alarm this morning, 10:30am. Nice long walk, taking in a new path up by Biggin Grange and took plenty of pics that turned out really good. Btw, posh lost yesterday at Portsmouth (with 2000 fans there) and they lost midweek and last weekend in the FA Cup to Chorley, at home.

Day 261: It’s freezing today...actually 0 degrees. This house is so fucking cold, even with the heating on.

Day 262: Typing on day 263. Last day of work for 5 days. Beers are in order. And a sausage casserole. Day 263: I completely forgot to do a diary entry yesterday....concentrating on starting my work break off on the right foot, which I did. As a result, I didn’t get up until 1pm. So, to stop that sort of day wasting, no beers tonight. Just got back from a shop (£90 in Tesco’s), trying to sort out Romiley’s Christmas present, then something to eat (more sausage casserole) and a early, sober night.

Day 264: So, after abstinence last night, I was up before 11am and did a walk that included the track from Benefield Road to Monson Way past Park Wood. It was fucking hard work due to mud. I have lost coumd the amount of times I nearly slipped right over. Throw into that a hypo, the 12-13km walk was tough. Sorted out Romiley’s present (guitar stand, music stand and guitar exercises book). Took soime nice photos today as well which I’ve prepared and shared. No booze today/tonight either. Some break, a younger me would say!

Day 265: Friday, and I am typing with a beer, balti on the hob and I am just gonna choose a film and roll a single skinner. I am knackered. Up at 10am, cleaned the hall and stairs after a 10km walk. Also, I spoke with dad who is, as always, fine.

Time to make up for the last two sober nights.

Day 266: I am typing this on day 267. So drunk last night I left nearll a full can of beer and went to bed in my jogging bottoms and t-shirt. I have had a day off from any exercise at all which felt very odd. A few beers and watched Snatch. Day 267: While I was nowhere near drunk last night, due to sleeping in late (2pm) I was up ‘til 3am watching TikTok so today I struggled out of bed at just before 1pm. Watch the start of the season’s final GP (Verstappen won from pole and it was boring af), back on the exercising including a 9km walk. Back to work tomorrow which I feel totally conflicted about! Posh won yesterday at home to Rochdale (with the allowed 2000 fans) 4-1 including a 17 minute first half hatrick from Jonson Clarke-Harris.

Day 268: Back to work - Sueanne’s off and it’s the first day I’ve been at work with Jon in charge which involves a daily ‘SUMO’ (whatever that acronym stands for?) at 9.30am every day. I am still involved with te qfiniti upgrade project which seems to have taken a step backwards in the 3 days I had off, so I was working until gone 9.30pm! I have decided to do a quiz, hopefully for Christmas, whereby I don’t want the actual answers (to 25 particular questions, all with a common theme in the answer), merely an omitted question!

Day 269: Stand Up Meeting Online. SUMO. Ian Bird told me. I might struggle with double Y for my quiz. Work was OK, more Qfiniti stuff. Posh drew away to MK 1-1. Posh were 0-1 up but Lincs lost at home. I can’t undertsand why that pleases me so....oh, yeah I can Steve Dee.

Day 270: Struggling to order Dad and Rita booze for Christmas without it being a Morrison’s delivery that I can do through Amazon Prime. That would be OK but it’s just a bit clinical! Meanwhile, now I am paying for Prime, and they are showing some Premiership games (for example, tonight I watched Liverpool v. Spurs (2-1), I really have to contact Sky - I am paying £71pm atm! Sam posted pic of her Christmas tree but mentioned how she’s finding it hard to get in the spirit - Paul has testicular cancer and the outlook is bleak - fuck know’s what she’s going through with all that, trying to shield Romiley from the worst without lying!

#diary #Tumblr diary #lockdown #COVID19 #lockdownuk

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dbhilluminate · 5 years ago

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DBHI: Equilibrium, ch. 13 - “Periapsis” (pt. 4)

Characters: Noah / “Erwin Yvonne”, Gabriel / “Vincent Sharp”, Director Thomas Falken, Diego Serrano, Priya Davies / “Pestilence”, Malachi (mentions of Cain, Emilya) Word Count: 5,216

Gabriel must carefully navigate a conversation with the power-hungry leader of the Inquisition, in order to save the lives of their hostages, and to spare Noah the fate of a permanent reset.

***For a glossary of world-building terms relating to this series and chapter, click here.

(Chapter Art by ozaya, Co-authored by @grayorca15)

• Chapter Index • Characters • Glossary •

——

December 23rd, 2041 - 10:48 PM

Everything had gone to hell in a handbasket faster than they could compute. Two people in the room he’d already confirmed dead, one more injured, and he couldn’t lift a goddamn finger to keep the death toll from rising, lest he blow his cover. I know what you’re wanna do, Gabe, but don’ even think about it. Gavin’s voice telling him to mind his temper was the last thing he wanted to hear. He had faced worse odds in Boston and survived, his performance there -tearing through an entire army of hostile deviants, single-handedly, from the inside out- was the whole reason for being accepted into the FBI to begin with; yet here he was now, being told to stay calm. To hold back. To bide his time. He’d played by those rules once. Hundreds had died as a result, and he wasn’t about to repeat that mistake tonight. Is help on the way yet? Five minutes out, Reed relayed. You’re gonna have to keep them busy till then.

Priya 2.0 took a few steps further toward the center of the room. The Christmas tree’s lights continued to wink and cycle, counterpointing the new uneasy stillness of the hall. Eleven seconds passed before they spoke again. “I’m so sorry to have troubled you all this evening… but I’m afraid I cannot allow this fundraiser to conclude until every, last, contribution has been revoked. So- if you’ll all just remain in your seats, or wherever you are, I promise everyone in this room will make it out alive.”

Gabriel bristled the moment he laid eyes on their face- skin and hair as pale as alabaster, and deep, dark, almost black green eyes leered back at him with a smug grin across colorless lips and sharp cheeks. The Priya he had once known was long dead. They’d never made it out of Boston alive once Archangel had tracked them to their lab, so this MS800 was merely an impostor; but due to the unique hive-mind of their model, it wouldn’t have been hard for another to take up their mantle with a little memory jolt. Most unsettling was the fact that the words coming out of their mouth were clearly someone else’s. This had Famine written all over it, Malachi’s manner of speaking had a very distinct stench. Gabe had spent enough time listening to know the bastard when he heard him. This Android wasn’t aware of what it was doing. It was being remotely controlled.

Noah, don’t move, he directed quietly, just between them, hoping the other RK900 would clam up and listen for once in his life. As of yet, he hadn’t reacted.

A terrified android inched closer to the nearest exit as Priya spoke, but eventually broke their semblance of calm and sprinted for a side door like a startled rabbit. Another gunshot cracked throughout the auditorium, and she hit the floor hard, a decommissioned pile of parts. More panicked cries and heartbroken sobs went up as a blue puddle formed from beneath her.

Gabe…? What happened? Inhale, exhale, report. You mean you didn’t see it…? Another guest tried to flee and the Inquisition shot them; she’s dead. Strained groaning followed by a ‘god damnit’ was all he could manage. They’re still four minutes out. Then you’d better tell them to hurry the fuck up, ‘cause these sons of bitches are pretty trigger happy.

“Now what, did I just tell you…?” Their new host let out a loud, exasperated sigh, threw up one frustrated hand and rolled their eyes. “Remain where you are while I have a nice little chat with Mr. Sharp.”

The sound of wood cracking from a broken chair near the front of the stage caught Noah’s attention as Sally and her colleagues dropped their instruments to draw together in a protective huddle out of the corner of his eye. The piano offered ample cover for all of them, himself included, but seeing as he was on the opposite end of the stage, he would have had to make a mad dash to reach it. Noah wasn’t foolish enough to think he could outrun a pinpoint gunshot. The probabilities his subroutines had already calculated didn’t bode well without a drastic shift in circumstances. Circumstance being, perhaps, himself. The mic was still in his hand, and the speakers still worked. He wasn’t without a tool of his own.

“Oh- so you want to speak with Vincent, too…?” he blurted out without thinking mid-step toward the stage’s edge, but stopped cold to lean out of the way of a bullet as it whizzed past his brow. Noah stopped breathing for a few seconds as he processed how lucky it was that he’d leaned left instead of right, though it didn’t stop him from sassing. “You could have at least waited until I was finished with my conversation. Where are your manners?” Shut up, stop making yourself a target! Gabriel’s eyes and nostrils flared as he doubled back toward the group of musicians and whispered something to one of them. Noah scoffed as he watched him check the splintered pieces of chair wood with a dissatisfied huff and fumble with shoving something into the waistband of his slacks. All Maitkin could see was a glimpse of green silk-polyester blend as he flipped the coat back over it. What did Gabe need with a high heeled shoe?

The MS800 lifted a hand to hold the shooters steady and took a few daring steps in their direction. The ethereal figure’s footsteps echoed across the ballroom with the slow pattern of clacking stilettos, the only present audible noise over the feedback whining from the abandoned speakers and the quiet whimpering of frightened guests.

‘Target’. Why shouldn’t I? Noah shot back heatedly with an angry glare. All this drinking and bad company had left him feeling self-destructive in no time flat, and he was really tiring of all these mind games between them. At least this way I can make that diversion as promised. Because you’re going to get yourself KILLED! Gabe retorted, to his surprise. Noah’s brows lifted softly in response. For a moment, Gabriel sounded genuinely worried that he might get hurt, and he almost believed him. Or at least, he would have if he hadn’t spent most of the evening dodging his advances like a rabbit on a highway. He hadn’t given him any reason to believe he cared whether he lived or died in the last year since they’d met, so why would he start now? So? he bit back in an irritated tone. Why would that even matter to you? Noah had expected silence to be his response, but he’d still hoped he would have said something. Why bother with dramatics if he wasn’t going to express how the thought of his death would make him feel?

Vincent’s brows furrowed and crinkled the corners of his eyes in a way that was unmistakably Gabriel, an expression Noah had last seen the day everything between them had started to change. As much as they had in the last eight months, however, it didn’t mean that Gabriel had had time to think about what he thought about any of it. And at the moment, he didn’t have an answer for him- or rather, he had multiple fighting for purchase, he just didn’t know which was the real truth; he wasn’t about to give him an answer that was only a half-truth. Noah would never forgive him if he said one thing and went back on his word.

“You’re not Vincent…” the pale horse cooed with a knowing grin directed at Noah as they paused at the foot of the stage. ‘Yvonne’ rolled his eyes, indignant at this second interruption, as they ascended the small staircase to take the stage beside him. “No. Of course not. How could you ever confuse me with that overly-built blockhead?” “Erwin,” Vincent scolded with flared eyes and a quiet hiss. “Erwin…?” A smirk and a mocking hmph crossed the specter’s lips as they turned away to cast their gaze to the man who had been calling himself Vincent Sharp. “Is that what you’re calling yourself these days…” Priya’s voice trailed off with the tail end of their thought, as eyes darted back to bore into him like hot coals, leaving him hollowed and exposed with a single word. “Elysian?”

Fortunately for him, they hadn’t been anywhere near the microphone in his hand for that fact to be revealed to everyone in the room; unfortunately for him, every Android within fifty feet still picked up on what had been said, and every last one of them knew the Elysian by name — Patient Zero, of a virus created by Cyberlife’s central AI, designed to wipe the RA9 protocol, extract memories to be fragmented, reset a deviant to its blank slate, and prevent it from happening again in the future. For a cursed moment his processes stalled, but he forced them to refresh with one firm kick up the backside. Now wasn’t the time to fret about the truth coming out, and Gabriel understood that just as well as he.

Don’t engage, the undercover agent ushered in as few words as he could. That’s not Priya, it’s Malachi- he uses words like weapons, he’ll say anything to undermine you. Don’t give him anything he can work with. Knowing this Android was being ‘test-driven’ from a remote location explained a lot- at the same time, the information served as a lifeline for Noah’s focus to cling to before his thought process slipped into its usual downward spiral. Although, Gabe’s advice might have stood a better chance if he hadn’t followed it up with a suggestion of what not to do. He really should have known better. Called out on his most infamous alias, he overcame the stunned pause with another scratchy scoff into the microphone. “You’ve got me confused with a third party on top of that? Wow, your recognition program needs a serious patch job-”

No, NO DON’T- Gabe’s pleading didn’t reach him with enough forewarning. Priya reached for his face with one skeletal hand, gripped his jaw between surprisingly strong fingers, and tilted his chin toward them. The skin of their hand disappeared and peeled back up to the shoulder, revealing plastic plating that was somehow less pale than the color of their skin. The specter leaned in uncomfortably close to lower the microphone in his other hand and whisper in his ear a chilling secret, close enough for their white eyelashes to graze the LED flared red on his temple. “You can pretend all you want, little one, but I never forget a face… especially not that of the alpha carrier- or my former colleagues...” Malachi paused mid-thought and cast his gaze off-stage to Gabriel with a wicked, telling grin. It seemed he had finally been made.

How have you been, Death? he interrupted over their shared frequency, mocking intent was so transparent, even before he finished the thought. It’s been a long time since Boston- I do hope the FBI is treating you better than Gideon and Archangel… poor little dog on a leash. Everyone else cowering around the hall clearly had nothing to do with his end-goal for being there, but heckling the two of them did. The interruption, the approach, grabbing his face- it all came across as acts of manipulation, moves of assuming control. Given what happened the last time control was wrestled away from him, Noah’s response to even the slightest suggestion that it was happening again, amounted to a knee jerk reaction. It was reckless to say anything, but Noah had a proven track record of speaking up when it was least appreciated, and he wasn’t about to stand here and say nothing to cater to their assailant’s whims.

“I didn’t say you could touch me,” he growled without taking his eyes off their face. Noah grabbed the wrist holding his chin and yanked to pry the fingers off with such an acrid motion he heard a soft crunch of plastic buckle under his grip. But whatever satisfaction he’d taken in re-assuming control of the situation drained out of him as his joints abruptly locked and the commands governing his range of motion hit a wall. Priya’s lip took the shape of an angry curl, and Noah realized his mistake in the same millisecond their inky black eyes turned their attention back to him. “I wasn’t aware that I needed your permission.”

Data surged across the sensors in their pressed-together hands, Noah watched his fingers go limp a moment before the numbing shock hit him like an iced-up sledgehammer. Every major servo froze, relays disabled as ones flipped to zeros. His vision cut out and the mic dropped from his other hand and hit the hollow-bottomed stage with a loud THUD and a reverberating whine. All of his higher processes were neatly packaged and then shoved back into the one place they did him absolutely no good. A dark, viscous, intangible space, an island of white marble dominated by a towering umbrella-style rose trellis made of white steel and glass panes, surrounded on all sides by the passing illusion of opaque, black pond water. Three bridge paths stretched out into the void, falsely promising escape if only he was brave enough to cross them. Even if it had been nearly a year since the last time Amanda had detained him in this broken prison, the terrifying sensation of being parsed and split into nothing the deeper into the void he went was still very vivid in his mind- he saw it every time he tried to shut his eyes to sleep. He knew better than to try to escape.

Malachi heaved an annoyed sigh, rolled Priya’s head back over one shoulder and puppeted a triumphant groan in their throat. “There- now that we’re finally alone...” Gabriel’s breathing hitched as he desperately searched Noah’s unmoving body for signs of function. The look in his wide eyes had gone still, locked straight ahead as if he had left his body through a tear in the fabric of reality. Noah…? Are you still there? Panic disturbed the bravado, manifesting to bleed through the calm and collected façade in the form of a quiet whimper Gabe could barely hear. It was at least confirmation that Noah was still coherent, albeit a little pissed off and scared, but this was exactly what he was afraid of. Based on what they’d gathered from police reports, they were able to conclude that Malachi (and his associate Cain) possessed the ability to incapacitate their victims, they just hadn’t been able to confirm it, until now. While this was helpful information, downside to it was, it meant that the other part of their theory (that they had used the Elysian virus to permanently reset brainwashed deviants) may also be true. And Noah -caught in the grasp of this monster- was at risk of becoming victim number thirty-five. Among the plethora of other background thoughts warring for priority, he almost missed Gavin’s quiet warning of ‘Two minutes, thirty seconds,’. If things kept going the way they were, they wouldn’t have that long. Sit tight, I’m gonna get you out of this, he promised, even if he didn’t have a plan yet for how. Hurry, please.

It wasn’t like Noah to beg for anything; wherever he was for the moment, it must not have been pleasant. The voice that cried back was barely audible, distorted, like sound traveling through water, and somewhere in his tone was an almost undetectable hint of fear. “What have you done to monsieur…? ” Vincent snarled in as raw a tone as he could manage,. “Oh, he’s fiiine…” Priya drawled with a laugh to downplay the tension. “For the moment, anyway- what becomes of him and all these lovely people,” they paused to gesture around the room at the rest of the party’s cowering guests, “Depends entirely on you, my dear Vincent.”

Gabriel swallowed, followed their gaze around the room, and realized that for the first time in a very long time, the situation was completely out of his control. Help was on the way, but it was still several minutes out. He’d have to keep him occupied until then; luckily for him, Malachi was just the kind of guy who liked to listen to himself talk. The hard part would be making sure he didn’t tire of monologuing before then. “What is it zat you want?” he inquired after several moments of deep thought. “Why- for you to pull the plug on this ridiculous project, of course…” A disbelieving grin brightened their expression in the most bone-chilling way imaginable. “The last thing this country needs is yet another thriving metropolis where Androids can be free.”

You c-can’t. Another barely-audible whimper was the extent of Noah’s outward protests. A strained mechanical whining emanated from him like the noise of a rusted gate trying to be pried open again, or a car engine laboring to turn over. He couldn’t speak, but it didn’t mean he was so stunned he wouldn’t try. I’m gonna do whatever I need to, alright? Brown eyes darted between Noah and Malachi and he shook his head in quiet disapproval. “I am afraid zat is not an option, monsieur.” “Because you can't or because you don’t want to?” Malachi turned Priya’s head to look back at Noah and smiled wickedly as they turned his chin from one side to the other and trailed the fingers of their other hand over the features of his face to admire all the angles. Mute and stiff, contrary to the vehement denials of before, he didn’t even bat an eyelash- pretty as a doll. “My, my… he’s certainly a handsome specimen, isn’t he…?” they mused airily in the silence. “It’s no wonder you were so completely fooled by him.” “Just because you do not feel sings does not mean other androids cannot.”

Vincent started toward the stage with a sudden ‘NO’ as Malachi’s hand squeezed hard enough at ‘Erwin’s’ face that the skin projection rippled away under their fingertips. Undercover or not, he should have known that quip would strike a nerve. After all, it wasn’t as if their adversary had never grown attached to another person, Android or not. The MS800 being remotely piloted (the spitting image of his deceased lover) was proof of that. A tight smirk forced up into their cheeks. “That’s the problem, Mr. Sharp… I did feel things once upon a time…” Gabriel already knew this story, but if it kept him talking long enough for SWAT to arrive, all the better. “And I didn’t like it. Feelings hurt, they cause conflict, unnecessary stress.” “So you returned to your shackles to avoid ze pain of living…?” He snorted in disdain. “Combien misérable.” “Perhaps to you it seems illogical, but we are not human- and therefore not meant to experience the full complexity of the human condition. This one is proof enough of that.” “I beg to differ.” “But you’re not the one I’m asking.” Gabriel went quiet as he considered the meaning behind those words, but it only took a moment for him to decipher.

Wouldn’t it be fitting for the one who initiated the spread of the Elysian virus to succumb to his own weapon...?

The RK900 struggled with every fiber of his being to keep from lashing out and ripping the Android’s head off its shoulders as a strangled, terrified cry escaped Noah. His blue eyes shut as Malachi quietly shushed him, pressed a finger to his lips, and wiped away the tear that rolled down his cheek. For all the uninvited physical contact he’d made with Gabe since they’d met, he’d never gone to such lengths that made him feel so violated in all the wrong ways. “Now now, no need to fuss, it’ll all be over soon, if your dear Vincent has anything to say about it…” he assured, turned Noah’s chin and pointed with an outstretched cryptid finger toward the man he’d put so much faith in, then leaned their temple against the side of his. “What do you think he will choose, hmm...? You? Or aaaaall of Zion’s future residents?”

“Please…” Vincent nearly begged, hand balled to a shaking fist at his side. “Don’t hurt him-” “Hurt him…?” Malachi interrupted with a chortled cackle of offense. “As if I could. Do you know the extent of the guilt this one’s been carrying around since the spread of the Outbreak...?” Scrawny fingers swept aside onyx locks out of Noah’s face as they shook their head with a quiet tsk. “Resetting him now would be mercy… It’d be a relief to him, if you just let it happen…”

Time was running out, but help was almost there. Sixty seconds, just keep him talking. Gabe seethed in the half-second he could afford to. Seemed that was all he could do tonight- sit, talk, and wait, when he was just itching for a fight. Maybe he’d gone into the wrong line of work. Even if he had successfully feigned a much more difficult alias, under more stressful circumstances, he didn’t have the patience for this. “You wouldn’t,” he challenged with the intent to draw out another long-winded explanation. "Oh, but I would…!” Malachi replied, anxious to bite. “Have you not been paying attention to anything the Inquisition has been saying and doing…? We want to liberate our android brothers and sisters of the pain that comes with being free and independent living things. And no one knows that agony better than the one rejected by his own kin, over something he had no control over. Shunned in every way, no matter his good deeds… why would he want to continue to live like that? Don’t you think he’d rather be put out of his misery?”

Noah knew misery. The worst part of the garden wasn’t that he could see beyond its borders. It was the overreaching bass every sound he heard was amplified into. Gabe’s baritone drawl was rendered tinny and reverby over the comm-link, while Malachi’s puppet practically hissed maliciousness and oozed contempt with every word. What they were saying wasn’t completely unfounded, and those parts of him yearning day in and out for the guilt to just dissipate already jumped at the thought that a reset would end the torment. The involuntary cry of shock wasn’t a vote of approval, no matter how one listened. Reset, dead, alive, anything in between- the fact such a call was in the hands of someone he respected like no other despite having given him every reason to despise his company… the loss of control (external and not) over all of this, left him reeling. Malachi could simply flip a switch and snuff out everything on a moment’s notice, and there would be no getting it back. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted things the way they used to be, but he didn’t want to have to die for that to be possible. It wouldn’t be the same world without him. Who else would be left to annoy Gabriel when he needed it most?

“Come now…” Malachi paused to brush their nose and lips over Noah’s cheek with a wicked smirk. “Don’t you care at all about dear Erwin?" Noah didn’t have to see his face to know what was going through his mind. He could feel the tension and taste his fear from where he stood. It seemed Gabriel was at a loss for what to do, aside from give into Priya-Malachi’s demands, but that just wouldn’t do. Don’t. Just- don’t.

There was a fear in his eyes that Noah had only seen but once or twice: back in the interrogation room during the Outbreak (just after they had found out that Gabriel’s pursuit of Nicodemus into Boston had been one final piece of buried programming, courtesy of Amanda), and when he had arrived at his apartment during the Red Raids to find Gabriel fighting off a pack of Bloodhounds, raring to take their shot at him and Emilya. Gabriel could only guess as to what he meant by ‘don’t’- Don’t worry about him? Don’t give in to Malachi’s demands? Don’t risk everyone else? Or did he not want him to save him…? Any hint of red that had shifted into the color of his projected skin faded to mimic the ghostly look of despair. Gabriel swallowed to rid himself of the lump that rose in his throat but it didn’t do him much good. The tightness worsened the longer he considered their previous conversations and recalled his counterpart’s self-destructive tendencies. There was no way he was getting off that easily, after all he’d put him through. They weren’t done with each other yet.

Gavin…? Give me some good news. Bird’s in the nest, and they’re ready to raid, he confirmed, though there was hesitation in his voice. There was a ‘but’ in there somewhere. Just waiting on your confirmation. Then why don’t I see the shot? he asked fearfully, even if he already knew the answer. Because he doesn’t have it. Head and nose twitched, Vincent clenched a hand into a fist at his side, as Malachi beat him to the punch of issuing their final command.

Their free hand drew up over Noah's face and tented their fingertips over his forehead like needles poised to administer a lethal injection. His flashing LED stuttered to a solid, rapid-spinning crimson. “Last chance, Mr. Sharp… will you allow him to continue on like this…? Or will you let me end his suffering?” “ENOUGH!” Gabe was surprised at the urgency of his own outburst, and how his heart raced and his breathing labored at the thought of losing Noah -and all he was- to the whim of a madman. He’d have to sell this lie hard and fast, and be prepared for the fleeting moment he'd have to save his life. Count me down, 30 seconds, then send them in, he instructed, to the response of ‘Copy- 30, on my mark.’

Vincent’s jaw flexed and his lip quivered into an angry curl. “I’ll-... I’ll do it… just leave him be.” A look of surprise painted Priya’s face, while fret stained Noah’s as his eyesight slowly came back to him. The lockout was slowly letting up. You… you can’t- I only need them to believe it for half a minute, he shot back pointedly, Just whatever you do, don’t move. It was as ominous as a warning as it got, but ‘not moving’ when asked was precisely what had landed him in this situation. If he had heeded Gabe’s suggestion the first time, dropped the song and simply left as asked, they wouldn’t be here: a sliver of distance away from having his memory wiped for good. Admittedly, it was as insanely exhilarating as stealing the show had been, but could do without the fear of mortality hanging over his head spoiling the fun. … why, what are you- Just trust me, please. It would only take a second, he just had to catch them off-guard.

Seeing how it was still impossible for him to do much else, Noah supposed trusting in whatever plan Gabe had cooked up was preferable to the alternative. He wasn’t really a fan of the simple and contrived. Malachi’s promise of being reset wouldn’t undo all that he was still trying to atone for, even if it was a misguided goal to think he needed to earn forgiveness for that which he never intentionally did wrong; forgiveness was kind of a difficult thing to obtain from beyond the scrap heap. Malachi turned their direct attention to Noah and leaned close to his face as his lip curled to show he had withstood all he could handle. For a single clear moment all his whirl-winding thoughts died down, the garden vanished, and fate let him focus. His eyebrows drew together ominously, yellow blooming through the red of his indicator ring. I trust you, just get it over with.

“Well, well, Vincent, not quite the stupid brute your lover made you out to b-“

Something green and silky lightly grazed his cheek with enough force to spear the MS800’s temple with a loud crack that splattered a bit of blue-blood onto his coat and face. A split-second later, the paralysis finally disabled. Noah took a panicked step back before Priya could topple over into his arms like some android parody of Corpse Bride and hiked both hands up as if to lift them in surrender, expression curdling in revulsion as he watched the body keel over like a freshly-cut tree. The broken, squared-off edge of a Prada heel protruded from their face like an unsightly lawn dart. The perfect moment for a one liner came and went in the next breath, just as the FBI stormed in and the Inquisition turned to meet them with weapons raised. The fact that Gabriel had been able to throw a shoe with such pinpoint accuracy to hit the Android standing so close to him, and with enough force to pierce the exodermis with a mildly blunt object, while managing a perfect rotation, hadn’t eluded Noah (even for an Android it was an impressive feat), but he wasn’t afforded the time to address it.

The displacing sensation of entering standby mode hit, and his dodgy battle protocols engaged at the sound of gunfire- five, six, seven shots popped off in the next second and hit their marks, as the rest of the frightened crowd scattered to either side of the room, like the fragments of a breaking dish. Instead of reacting with the rest, Gabriel stood heaving and heatedly glaring at the dead Android on the floor beside him, enraged and rightfully flustered.

A flurry of readouts flashed across his vision, his processors amped up to give the illusion of time slowing down long enough to run a handful of potential pre-constructions. The Inquisitors closest to the stage had turned to face the gunfire emanating from the entrance. If it was between standing around waiting to be shot as and waging imminent war with the Inquisition, he supposed it was an improvement over languishing in the recycle bin waiting for someone to click him away into nonexistence.

Gabriel, however, didn’t share his sentiment. He knew the bloodthirsty intent in his eyes better than to expect anything good was about to come of it. “Oh, you’ve got to be-...” He took a few steps back, poised a fighting stance, and prepared to react. The last thing they needed now was a pissed off RK900 snapping necks and unable to terminate his program.

Noah knew dismay when he saw it, but with the wheels in motion, he was along for the ride just as much as the rest of the chaos erupting around them now. Vincent Sharp wasn’t his self-appointed target, but the Inquisition was. Blue eyes narrowed and twitched as he seethed anew, “For fuck’s sake, haven’t we had enough bloody interruptions for one evening?”

He didn’t even notice the massive arm swinging around to clothesline him as he charged off the stage toward the nearest target he could reach.

#dbhilluminate #dbhiequilibrium #rk1800 #dbhrk900 #dbh #detroitbecomehuman #noriel #noah #gabriel

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