#i cannot believe how CLOSE they are to one another right now holy shit this is the closest they’ve been together in YEARS!!!!

[harrys-toothpaste]

2025 is gonna be the year of the directioner i fear.

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Four: in another life

Rafe Cameron x reader

Chapter 4: in another life

Note: Here's part four!! I'm still crying over TTPD. Down bad is so incredibly Rafeit's insane. Anyway!! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. This part covers the smau up until part 26. Good luck soldiers!!

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio, mentions of drugs, mentions of suicidal ideation.

Word Count:  6,722

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter 4: in another life 

It’s a nightmare. Everything feels off. The walls are caving in. His mouth feels as if he had chewed on cotton balls for the past hour. It’s spinning. He’s lost control of himself and he doesn’t know how he’ll get it back. 

It started because of the thought of them together. Forever. Married. Having kids and living happily ever after clawed and his chest and ate him from the inside out. It was an ugly feeling. He wanted to be happy for her. There was no way he could be. Not when he was so deeply in love with her. Not that he ever stopped. 

It was just one blunt. He stole it from Barry. He was careful not to disturb any of the other drugs he had in there. Careful not to look at them too long. He’s been good. Has been clean for more than two years without any missteps. And here he is high once again. It’s just weed he tells himself. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

They’re about to go onstage when Sofia loses her mind. She goes absolutely ballistic. He’s pulling her off to the side away from prying eyes.

“Stop. Relax. Let me explain.” Everything comes out in a jumble as he’s trying to balance his damn guitar and get her to stop flailing her arms everywhere. 

“There’s no explaining anything. We are over. We are so done, Rafe. Holy shit I cannot believe I put up with your crazy obsession with your friend who by the way you didn’t even date. You’re insane.” 

“Can you calm down for a second?”

“No! For your information Rafe. She doesn’t want you! She’s moved on! And we could have too but no. You’re here still pining over something that doesn’t exist. You are so incredibly disrespectful to me. I have been nothing but supportive of you. And I have put up with so much shit from you so much hatred because what? Did I take you away from her? You chose me! You left her. And now I’m leaving you.” 

“Sofia-“

“The way you have treated me the last couple of months with your album release and hinting that it’s about her? Do you have any idea how that makes me look? How it makes me feel? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh! Sorry! You and her! And barely even yourself, you know how I know?” She looks at him, volcanic ash in her eyes. “Because you’re fucking high right now!”

“Keep your voice down.” He pulls her deeper into the corner they’re standing in.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I loved you. I did. I thought that once she moved on, we would be okay. I was wrong. Do not sabotage this for her. She’s happy. You’re not good enough for her. And not for me.”

She does a 180 and storms off away from backstage and away from him. He looks up and Topper is staring at him from where he stands beside Sarah, her hand is on his arm, a look of concern on her face. He shakes his head at them and turns to the stairs that lead to the stage. He spots Y/N and Julio, they’re talking quietly to each other, he sees her laugh and touch Julio’s face, and he kisses the palm of her hand.

Fuck this. He runs back to the green room. He knows he left it around here somewhere and he knows where the lighters are. He digs through three of Barry’s jackets before he finds the blunt. Barry must have moved it. When he pulls it out, a plastic baggie with four white pills comes up with it. He thinks about putting them back. He wants to put them back. He hears the 5-minute warning, stuffs the baggie in his jeans and runs to find a lighter. 

+++

There’s something off about Rafe. She notices when they begin their second song. He’s swaying more than usual, coming up and singing to her face a little too closely. 

It must be because they’re trying to be friends. And maybe the fight with Sofia. It was pretty nasty the way she went at him. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, the crowd and music drowning them out. Sofia looked upset. She must have cooled off because she’s in the audience standing next to Sarah. Not that their manager would allow her to leave even if she wanted to. It would cause too much speculation online and that’s something they don’t need more of. 

She hasn’t had to protect Julio from how Rafe and her used to act on stage, during their no-talking years, they still put on an act but it was nowhere near the level of how they acted pre-everything. They were pretty heavy on the PDA, without confirming anything of course. It was more like singing into each other's mics while staring longingly into each other’s eyes. A lot of heavy petting, she would drape herself around Rafe, Rafe would swing her around and carry her. They would practically make out on stage every show. They did everything but have sex. It’s no wonder the theories and rumours started. 

Post everything that went down, they tamed it and kept it to their side of the stage unless they were switching over. They didn’t share a mic and looking at each other too long was off-limits. And now, well now, it looks like Rafe wants to sing into her mouth with the way he gets closer and closer. Julio knows about their past and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him but this is a little much. She doesn’t want to rub anything in his face or make him feel disrespected. She also can’t diss Rafe on stage. They have an act. They’re all best friends and nothing bad has ever happened between them. 

So she plays along. And she sings into his mic, she whips her hair in his face and he sings over her shoulder. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. This should be a fun one to look at online. At some point, her shirt comes off. She’s a little angry at Rafe’s immediate switch-up. She feels that since they’re just figuring out how to be friends, he could give it a rest and not go all out. So her shirt comes off. It got stuck on the mic stand, she got pissed off that it ripped a little and she took it off, throwing it into the crowd. At some point Rafe is not even fully on the stage anymore, he’s lying down looking up at her as he plays his guitar. She’s standing over him, singing into the mic and playing the bass all while wondering what the hell has gotten into him. 

Security is going insane over Rafe hanging off the stage and people are trying to grab his legs. Sarah is diving into the crowd trying to get a shot of what’s happening on stage. She kind of wants the show to be over but at the same time, it’s the most fun she’s had on stage in a while. 

+++

Trying to find their footing after not being friends for three years, that much is clear. One moment he’s trying to make out with her onstage and the next he can barely look at her. It has been a little bit harder than she thought it would be. 

It’s strangely painful. The realization that they can’t go back to how they were before anything happened. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but these awkward silences might kill her. 

She’s sitting between Topper and Rafe, staring directly at Barry’s bored face as Ash explains who kows what. Something about which celebrities and important label heads are coming to tonight’s show. 

She didn’t care about the label heads. One of their most important shows had been the one two days ago. Their friends had all flown in from different places to see them. Now back in the city she calls home, that’s still all that matters. 

Cleo and Pope flew in from New York, John B and JJ had flown in from Hawaii. JJ would be leaving almost immediately after to continue training for the next big surf competition and John B would be staying at Sarah’s. Julio was at her house, she didn’t want him to have to spend the entire day at rehearsals so she told him to come by when he was ready. Ward was around somewhere too, probably with Sarah and John B. Kelce was at his hotel and would be arriving later with Kie after he got her from the airport, the only one that had missed the last show. It was an important show for them because of their people not because of some random celebrity they didn’t know. 

After the show, they would go to one of their favourite bars to celebrate and then she would be off to North Carolina for a week before moving to Madrid for the foreseeable future.

She was so excited to be there a bit before Julio started filming so they could visit his friends and family. 

After Ash is done running them through the guest list, they have some downtime before their private soundcheck and the fan soundcheck. Fan Soundcheck is her favourite because they get to play some deep cuts and answer some fun questions.

They’re standing backstage as one of their stagehands announces they’ll be out in three minutes. They’re standing in a circle making sure that their in-ears are on. Barry and Topper bickering about some random thing.

“Ready, buddy?” She looks at Rafe, her eyebrow raised as Barry laughs. 

“Buddy? Good one.” Topper laughs as Rafe’s face turns red. 

“Okay yeah, I’ll never say that again.”

“Please,” she laughs, “let’s go.” She leads the guys onto the stage as their fans start screaming. 

They play a song right off the bat and then sit down for a few questions. 

Everything is going fine, the mood is great, they’re all vibing with each other on stage, it’s great. Right up until it’s not. 

“Hi, my name is Sammy, my question is for Y/N.” She smiles at the girl and waves. 

“Hi Sammy, I remember you! You saw our last show too,” she speaks into the microphone. 

“Hi! Oh my goodness yes. I drove here from San Francisco after getting tickets last minute.” The girl rambles. “Okay, so I was wondering, what are you most looking forward to doing on your break?” She mulls over the question before answering. 

“I’m going to be semi-moving to Spain for a while so probably just exploring the city.” Sammy nods and thanks her as the mic is passed to the next person.  

Something shifts on stage after that question. She doesn’t know if she missed something or what, but suddenly the mood is tense. Barry’s in between her and Rafe and she can still feel the tension coming off him in waves. 

After the last question, they played one more song and bid the fans goodbye, telling them they would see them in a few hours for the show. 

Barry goes and does whatever Barry does before a show, Rafe storms off and Topper follows him. She looks over at her guitar tech who just shrugs his shoulders and takes her guitar from her. 

She texts Julio asking when he will be getting to the arena. When she doesn’t receive an answer, she sits in the green room, with no idea where the boys are. 

She dozes off for an hour before her phone blows up with texts from Rafe. She opens Julio’s message first, telling her that he would leave her house in an hour. Then she goes to Rafe’s texts, saying something along the lines of needing to talk to her. She sees that she has notifications from Twitter as well and opens those. From Rafe too. 

“I need you”

“Please don’t go”

“Y/N”

What is he doing? They just talked about trying to be friends, she knows about his feelings but he can’t go around blowing up her phone. He’s just sad about Sofia, how could he expect her to stay after he confessed to her that he still had feelings for his ex who wasn’t really his ex? 

She asks him what he’s doing and he asks to meet her. She tells him no, and that it’s too late to d this. Too late in the day, too late because the show is about to start, and too late because she’s going and she doesn’t want him. 

After telling Cleo to haul ass to the arena. Needing to speak to her about the Rafe of it all. She runs to the bus to hide. She doesn’t want to see him so she’ll avoid the arena. 

She doesn’t think about how if he doesn’t find her inside, he’ll look for her on the bus. 

“Y/N?” She hears him call. She’s in her bunk, curtain drawn and holding her breath. He walks closer and stands in front of her bunk. She can see his shadow. 

“I know you’re in there.” She stays quiet still. “Please talk to me.” She sighs, not able to deny him when he sounds so sad. 

She draws the curtain open and meets his eyes. 

“We talked about this.”

“No, we talked about how I would try to be your friend. Not how you’re going to move away with your boyfriend.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit at home alone for however long the break ends up being?”

“No, I thought we could hang out when we were both home and repair our friendship or whatever.”

“Rafe, I can’t do that. I won’t put my life on hold for you anymore.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just feel the same way? Why won’t you love me?” 

She’s surprised by his words. For the first time, she looks at him. Takes in his dishevelled appearance, his jittering hands, and the dilation of his pupils. 

“Are you high?” she swings herself off her bed to get as much distance between them as possible. 

“No.” He’s lying. 

“What the fuck Rafe? Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m fucking sad okay? And I don’t want to feel anything.” She can’t believe he would go down this road again,  after being clean for so long. She can’t believe he would be around her like this. Not when he knows how many bad memories it brings.

“You have to leave. You have to get away from me.”

“Y/N.” His voice cracks.

“No. You know my history, the shit I have been through because of drugs. You know it very well actually. I don’t need to be around your erratic behaviour. It’s triggering, it hurts me.” Her voice is firm. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” he backs up turning around quickly and storming off the bus. 

She sits back down, her hands slightly shaking. If he’s using again, she doesn't know if she can have him in her life. 

+++

He’s happy Sarah’s the one that finds him. He’s spread out on the floor. The curtain covers him from the fans' curious eyes. The stage is quiet, with only a few people coming and going. The rest of the crew’s at dinner. 

“What are you doing?” She stares from above him.

“Laying.” He mumbles

“Are you not going to come eat dinner?” She points behind her in the direction of the lunch room.

“Not hungry.”

“What’s wrong?

“Sad.” He sees the annoyance at his one-word answers cross her face. 

“Rafe, full sentences please.”

“Y/N told me to go away. That she couldn’t be around me.” She crouches down next to him. 

“I thought you two were trying to be friends?” she questions. 

“I ruined it.” He can feel himself well up. 

“How?”

“By being high.”

“You are not.” she kneels left to him now, grabbing his face roughly and bringing it so his eyes are aligned with hers. 

“I am.” She looks angry at him. He feels tears start to gather. God, why does he make the women he cares most about in his life so upset?

“You can’t be high. You’re an addict.”

“Just weed. Nothing more.”

“I don’t care if it’s just weed. It’s not just weed for you. It’s a slippery slope. You go from weed to forgetting you’re sober, to cocaine.”

“I’m sorry.” The pity in her look makes his stomach twist.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up before the show. You need food and to sober up.”

“I’ll be sad though.” She stands up, extending her hand out for him to take. 

“You’re high and sad, I don’t think it helped.”

“That’s what the cocaine is for.” He jokes, it doesn’t earn him a laugh, just a scowl.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Maybe he can get drunk after the show, then he’ll forget how sad he is. 

+++

The show goes off without a hitch. They are all smiles, dripping with sweat as they take the final bow of the tour. Tears are prickling her eyes as she looks over at Topper. His smile was big and shining. She looks at Rafe and he’s messing with Barry’s hair, a burst of laughter leaving him as Barry jumps on his back. Barry waves to the crowd as Rafe piggybacks him off. Topper grabs her hand and pulls her off the stage, waving one last time before they can’t be seen anymore. 

Julio waits for her, a huge grin on his face and his arms wide open for her to run into. Once she lets go of him, she hugs Cleo and then Pope, and then she’s tackled by JJ, Kie, and John B. 

“You all killed it!” JJ yells in her ear, making her jolt back. 

“Fucking best show we’ve ever played!” Topper screams, coming up to her and hugging her. Barry joins the hug putting his sweaty arms around them both. Rafe hesitantly joins the group hug. 

“Another successful tour,” he says, his eyes catching hers in the huddle. She smiles softly. 

“Let’s go party!” Kie screams from down the hallway where she’s started to walk away. 

Everyone starts cheering and following her lead. She finds Julio’s hand as they make their way to gather their stuff and leave the arena. 

+++

He spots Julio come in through the back doors of the club, Y/N hanging off his arm, her lips swollen. His eyes soften when he looks at her. He sees how much he loves her, and how he would never hurt her. He would go to the ends of the world for her. And he hates him. He can’t stand that she’s not hanging off his arm. That he’s not the one kissing her against a brick wall outside a sleazy bar. 

Sofia’s gone. They’re done. And he’s hurting for the relationship that he could have had if he had let go of Y/N. Not that he ever could have. It wasn’t in the cards for him. A world where he wasn’t irrevocably in love with her didn’t exist. 

“You okay?” Sarah comes up next to him, planting her hands on the table to steady herself. 

“I’m high again.” He confesses. 

“Rafe, we talked about this.”

“I get that I just can’t stop. Everything hurts.” They look of pity from earlier returns.

“You need to stop.” He looks past her to where Y/N is.

“It’s just weed.”

“You don’t get to do weed. It’s not just weed to you. Slippery slope remember?

“I know.” 

“I’m here for you. I think you need to go back to rehab. Either before you tour or after. It needs to be sooner rather than later.  I’ll drive you there myself.” She offers. 

The idea of going back to rehab irks him. He’s not as bad as he was last time. He has control over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

“I don’t know how to be okay watching her be with someone else.” Sarah looks behind her at Y/N with Julio. Her smile lit up the room. Her laugh was music to his ears. 

“You don’t get to break down about this. You made your choice. Let her be happy. you need to focus on staying sober, you heal, and you move on.” 

“How?” He can’t rip his eyes away from the couple. Wishing with everything in him that it was him with her.

“By being her friend, Rafe.” She pats him on the back. He watches as she follows Topper out the back door where Y/N and Julio had come through earlier. 

Everything he and Sarah talked about flies out the window when Julio of all people see him standing there with a little bag full of who knows what that Barry gave him. Barry’s drunk and high, that’s one of the only reasons he gave it to him. Barry would kill him any other time. 

He’s been toying around with the idea of just doing it. Taking all these pills and getting it over with. 

“You probably shouldn’t take those.” Rafe side glances at him but doesn’t speak.”

“If you’re doing that shit you shouldn’t be around her.” Rafe doesn’t like him and he likes him even less when he tells him if he can or can’t be around Y/N.

“Mind your business.” He barks out.

“This is my business, you know why? Because she’s my business. And she’s a recovering addict too, Rafe. Or did you forget?” He shrugs. 

“Look, I don’t care if you care about your sobriety. But we both know you care about her enough not to risk hers. So if you’re going to do that shit, don’t bring it around her. And stay away from her.” This is the angriest he has ever heard the dark-haired man. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do on my tour with my friends.”  Deep down he knows Julio’s right. Right now he doesn’t care what the man says. He wants to fight him. 

“Do whatever the hell you want with yourself, I’m asking you to please, stay away from Y/N if you’re going to do drugs.”

“So you’re isolating her now too.”

“What does that mean?” Julio looks at him, one eyebrow raised, lips tight.

“You’re going to take her away. You’re taking her away from her family and her friends, to live in a country where she knows nobody. What kind of boyfriend does that?” 

“I’m taking her away from you, right?” 

“Yeah, you are.” The words spill from him before he can even think of denying them. 

“She isn’t anyone’s to take away. She makes her own decisions and she chose to be with me.” Julio saying shit like that makes him feel like he thinks he’s the best option. The best man out there.

“Shut up. You’re not better than me just because you say that stuff.”

“I’m not better than anyone, just let her be.” He doesn’t say anything. Julio stands up.

“You had your chance. Let her go.” He stays quiet. Julio starts to walk away. 

“I can’t.” He sees as Julio’s steps stutter.

“I’m going to fight for her.” 

“There’s nothing left to fight for.” He walks away. Back into her arms. Where he wishes he could be.

+++

The two weeks back home in Kildare were filled with press and interviews. Filled with people asking them when the next album was and when they would be back. He was scheduled to go to rehab after two weeks back home but due to scheduling, they had to move his tour up. Y/N was already in Spain. She spent a bit of time with her family, made sure everything was good and then flew off to Europe, taking his heart with her.

They were okay again, he had explained that he would go to rehab and try to get himself under control again. She told him that she was proud of him and that she wished him all the best. She told him that she wouldn’t be able to make it to his first show but that she would be there for his last. She hugged him goodbye on her last day on the island and told him that he would see her soon. 

The engagement scare still circulated in his brain. He’s so afraid that she would get engaged while she was away and he would truly lose her forever. Whenever he thought about it he felt like throwing up. 

One month. One month and he would see her again. 

+++

She stayed with Julio’s family for three weeks in Madrid before they had to go to Valencia where he had to film. She liked being in Madrid the most because she knew how to get around and she could stay at Julio’s house. In Valencia, they’re staying in a hotel so she doesn’t have the comfort of her things. She’ll go to the set with him most of the time but other times they are such long shoots she’d rather do anything else. She wants to explore but she’s so directionally challenged she’s scared to get lost and never return, her map couldn’t even save her sometimes. 

Julio cooks for her every day, he teaches her how to cook some dishes he learned in his classes, they write songs together, and she runs songs by him which turns into them taking turns serenading each other. They drunkenly kiss under street lights and dance in the rain. She’s never felt happier, ever been so in love. 

A month in and she’s back in Los Angeles where Rafe’s playing his last show. She’s excited to be here for him but she’s counting down the hours until she can go back to Spain. 

When she gets home she checks to see that her house hasn’t been broken into and that all pipes are still in place. Her worst nightmare is returning to a flooded house. It all seems normal, she opens a few windows to air it out. Penny’s back in Spain with Julio so she feels extra alone. 

She texts Rafe that she’s back in town and he texts her back within a minute. 

“Thank you for coming, angel.” She smiles at the nickname and responds,

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

He sees her and his world stops. Her hair is in loose waves and it looks a little longer than when he had last seen her. His heart reaches out to her, begging to be in her presence. Sarah notices him there standing like an idiot and waves him over, the motion grabbing Y/N’s attention. 

“Hey,” he says walking over.

“Hi!” She says putting her arms out to him, she goes on her tippy toes to reach him. 

“How are you?” He asks her, slowly letting go. 

“I’m good! Jetlagg is kicking my ass, but happy to be here! Look at you, rockstar.” She has a wide smile on her face that makes him feel like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Yeah,” he laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, shy all of a sudden.

“I heard a little rumour that Sofia was around?”

“I invited her to a show, extending a branch and all and we talked but that ship has sailed.”

“Are you on good terms?”

“I think we could be better, but it’s okay, I’m not holding my breath.” She links her arm with his, he looks at where their arms connect and feels like he’s on fire. How is he ever going to get over her?

+++

Rafe is amazing. He’s in a class of his own when he’s up on stage giving the show of a lifetime. It makes her tear up. She can’t help but think how he almost gave this all up when they were younger. She can’t imagine him anywhere but the stage. If he were working for his dad, his star would be caged. She’s so happy she could be a small part of his journey. He deserves the world. 

For the first time since they started talking again, she feels like they can go back to normal. She loves him. She can have her best friend back. 

+++

She doesn’t know how fast everything can fall apart. It’s perfect. Too perfect. She should have known that the other shoe would drop sooner or later. That’s how her life goes. She should have known she couldn’t have everything she wants. Things get ripped away eventually.

Rafe and Topper had mentioned that there were rumours they might have to go on a festival run. She hasn’t heard anything from their manager or their label. She likes the idea of a festival run, it could get them playing in front of people who don’t know who they are and expose them to new crowds.

She misses performing, she knows this would cut her time in Spain short. Much shorter than anticipated. She’s supposed to be there for almost seven months, with a bit of travelling back and forth until Julio finishes filming and they can stay in New York for a while. 

She’s only been here for three months. It’s been so nice to be back with Julio full time, and get to do normal couple things after work. She doesn’t know how she’ll break the news to him. She chooses not to until she knows for sure. 

The peace is short-lived. 

“What is this?” Julio holds up the phone for her to take. She grabs his phone and looks at Boston Calling’s festival lineup. She reads trying to see what he’s talking about and finally finds what he’s asking about. Saturday, May 8th: Kildare Split B stage. 

“I promise I didn’t know anything about this.” She tries to reassure him.

“That’s in two weeks.” He says to her, she feels the emotion in his voice.

“I know. I’ll talk to them.” She gives him his phone back and wraps her arms around him. 

“I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped up in each other, silence overtaking them.

+++

“Ash, no one told me. I just thought I had more time.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have the contract, you’re expected here.” She slides her hand over her face and sighs. 

“Okay. That’s fine, but I’m leaving right after, no press.”

“Y/N, that’s not the only festival. You’ll be doing stops all spring and summer.” Her stomach drops. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 

“I’m sorry. The label will make no exceptions. You have to be here for every show.”

+++

She cries in Julio’s arms about having to leave so soon. He tells her it’s okay and that it’s nothing that they aren’t used to. She hates being used to being so far from him. She already misses him. 

They try to get back to normal for the remainder of the time but something shifts. She can’t quite place it. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if it’s him. It feels off. For the first time since they met, it feels like they’re orbiting around different stars. 

They’re returning to their apartment from lunch with one of his co-stars when her world starts to crack. She knows what he’s thinking before he even says it out loud. His eyes are sad and she can read him. She’s never hated him a day since they met. Not until now. She tries to distract herself, tries changing the subject, she tells him she’s going to shower and get ready for bed. 

In the shower, she tries to scrub away the doubt and rubs at her skin to try and rid herself of the feeling. Impending doom. The world ending. A black hole fiding her universe and destroying it before she can do anything to stop it. 

When she gets out of the shower he’s sitting on the edge of their bed facing her, she’s still trying to avoid it, she kisses his cheek and turns away. He stops her from walking away by grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. She doesn’t face him. She can’t.

“This is so hard.” His voice comes out hoarse.

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I love you so much it hurts.” It’s not supposed to hurt. He taught her that. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“You said we could get through it. You said that it was nothing we hadn’t done.”

“I know what I said. I thought I could.”

“And now you can’t.” He looks at her, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“No. No. No. Stop, no, you don’t get to break up with me.” She’s screaming, the tears already spilling from her eyes. She’s never felt so crazy. And her world falls apart. She doesn’t remember a time before her life was him and her.

“Y/N. You know I love you, I would do anything for you, and this is the right thing to do.”

“No. You don’t get to choose what is right for me. I do. And I choose you. I always choose you.”

“It’s not feasible. Being away from you. It hurts too much. It hurts you and it hurts me. I can’t do 

it. My heart breaks every time you leave.”

“I’ll do anything.” Tears fall from his eyes as he gulps.

“Moving here is not realistic for you, you were supposed to be here for way longer and look, you leave in three days. I don’t blame you. It’s everything you’ve worked for and I won’t be the person that holds you back.” She’s sobbing now, she can’t see him over her tears, she’s shaking and desperate to get him to listen. To keep him. 

“I’ll quit the band.” It comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop it. she grabs his face and makes him look at her. “I’ll quit.” He looks at her eyes wide. 

“No.”

“Julio, please.”

“You don’t mean that, you’ll resent me and you won’t be happy and it’ll ruin us.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She’d never heard these sounds come out of her body before, so guttural and painful from somewhere deep inside her. 

“You will. You would never ask me to quit acting, would you?”

“No,” she whines, the tears flowing.

“Then how could I ask you to quit your dreams?” He’s right. She knows he is and it fucking hurts. She wants to rip her heart out. She’s never felt pain like this and she wishes she could have never met him. 

That’s not true, the thought of never having him in her life hurts. No matter how painful this moment is, the realization that their relationship is over is, she would never take back the years she spent with him. He showed her what it meant to be loved. How it felt to be seen and wanted. He taught her selflessness in love. She would never take it back. She needs to numb the pain. 

She falls into his arms, her face on his chest as she cries and cries. He holds her like he never wants to let go and cries with her. God how she wishes she could live another life. How she wishes they could be other people. In another life, she thinks. In another life. 

He’s what she wants, but she’s not what he needs. Because she’s hurting him. She’s been hurting him and he can’t put up with it anymore. She’s not worth it.

She books her flight for that night. Not wanting to prolong their inevitable goodbye. She watches as he closes the door to his apartment. The last time she’ll be here. They hold hands on the way down to his car and then as he drives her to the airport where he kisses her for the last time. Kisses her goodbye. And she gets on the plane and cries all the way home. The flight attendant keeps bringing her water and the people around her are whispering. She closes the curtains around her pod. Her eyes focus on the sides of the window as the frost builds like little spider webs reaching out to her.

She loves him. She loves him. She can’t believe this.

+++

She gets to her house. Penny next to her. She sets her stuff down next to the door and collapses into a pile of skin, bone, and numbness. Her heart missing. Her heart was somewhere back in Spain with the boy he dragged her out of her isolation and brought her back to life. How could she ever be okay again?

She doesn’t leave her house or her bed until the day she has to be on a flight to Boston. She has about 100 missed calls and a billion unopened text messages. She doesn’t care to talk to anyone. Doesn’t want to explain the breakup. 

+++

She can feel herself isolating. To the way, things were before him. She’s in a room full of people and she feels the most alone she’s ever been. She waves everyone off, not giving them a second glance. She marches on stage, she plays the show with a missing heart. Pretending she’s okay. The band sees right through her, the fans don’t know better. 

Everyone is worried about her. Ash forces her to come out with the band and crew. She’s probably scared she’ll overdose if she’s on her own. All the telltale signs of how she used to be. They’re keeping an eye on her. 

She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she’s floating through life right now. She walks out onto the balcony, needing fresh air. 

Everyone’s dancing as she sits on the balcony and stares at the night sky. The wind makes goose bumps rise on her skin. She feels another tear try and escape her eye. She blinks it away before it can. She’s so tired of crying all the time. 

“Hey, you.” Topper steps out into the crisp air. 

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to cover that she’s been crying. 

“You okay?”

“No.”

“It’ll be okay. Sometimes love just doesn’t last. It happens and it’ll pass.”

“We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other. If the distance didn’t exist I would still be with him. I would choose him over and over again but I was hurting him and in turn, I was hurting myself and neither of us expected or would accept the other quitting their dream jobs to move. So we’re done and it fucking hurts, Top. I saw forever with him. I haven’t felt that way about anyone ever. Part of me thinks that one day, when we’re both settled and not chasing the next best thing, we’ll be together.” She’s choking up, tears spilling over.

“Come here,” he opens his arms to her and she falls into them, “I’m here for you.” she looks over his shoulder to where Rafe is with their friends. 

“For now I just want to drink and cry and sleep for three weeks. I want the pain to stop. I don’t want to feel.” She pulls back from Topper, grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside. 

She would forget. At least for tonight.

+++

Her head pounds in the morning. She would blame all the crying she’s been doing but it’s mostly the alcohol. Cleo would kill her if she knew how much she was drinking again. She opens her eyes and looks around the half-lit room, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. The curtains are on the wrong side of the room. She looks around some more and notices clothes thrown on the floor. Men’s clothes. This isn’t her room. 

She remembers bits of the night before, kissing and touching in the elevator ride, the fight to find his room key, looking into his blue eyes and forgetting the name of the man with the brown eyes. At least for a moment. She blinks as if that would stop the headache.  

“Shit.” She hears from beside her. She slowly turns her head until her eyes meet the blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Top.”

“Fuck.”

[thetriumphantpanda]

sharing is caring | joel & tommy miller

Summary | If there was one thing no-one really prepared you for when you got pregnant, it was the increase in your sex drive. Six months in and you're more frustrated than ever that something just isn't scratching the itch. You know exactly how to fix it, turns out Tommy does too - if only you'd asked about this three months ago.

Warnings | Pregnancy sex, descriptions of a pregnant body, oral sex (f receiving), masterbation (m), Unprotected PiV sex (Even if you're pregnant, STDs exist folks), creampie, Tommy getting cucked because he loves it more than anything, Joel just being.... Joel.

Word Count | 2.9k

Authors Note | You didn't think Joel was just going to disappear did you? Of course he wasn't. I know that pregnancy sex and this whole trope isn't for everyone, but I hope that I've managed to do it in a way that is still sexy and hot and has you all still loving our little threesome! Big disclaimer that I've never been pregnant, so the accuracy of this might be.... off, please forgive me. We've got one more part after this and I still cannot believe how many of you are still here for this little story. I appreciate all the love you've given me on this so far and I just hope you love the way this ends (When I share it with you), as much as I do! As always, if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or popping into my ask with some love. If you'd like to support me by leaving a tip, you can do so here on my Ko-Fi (But as I always say, no pressure!)

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“Fuck, Tommy, holy shit.” 

Your head is thrown back on the pillow as your hips rock to meet his, your hand working hard to try and bring yourself as close to the edge as Tommy is right now. It’s been six months of a sex drive that’s been through the roof and six months of nothing working to satisfy that. Tommy had always been diligent lover, right from the very beginning, you’d always been satisfied, but there was something that just wasn’t working, and it had all begun when your stomach had started to swell. 

It had nothing to do with hating your body – if anything, seeing what it was doing, carrying a creating an entire other human, made you love it even more – you could spend hours running your hands over the swell of your stomach, even when your child would kick or move about and your skin would contort in ways you didn’t know possible, all you could do was watch in awe. No, it had nothing to do with that, and everything to do with the fact you were craving something, someone, you probably shouldn’t. 

In the past month, though it killed you to admit it, you’d started faking your orgasms. Something you’d never had to do in your time with Tommy, but that was probably easier than coming clean about the fact that you wanted Joel. No. You needed him. The combination of these two men, in your mind, was the only thing you could think that would help – the eyes of your love on you as his brother fucked you into another dimension. But how the fuck do you even ask for that?

When all is said and done that evening, and Tommy is softly snoring behind you with his hands resting on your belly, you run through every possible way that you might ask him if he’ll let Joel join you again. It had been incredibly normal between the three of you – you’d fallen back into the relationships you’d had before this whole thing started – Joel seemingly nothing but the loving brother-in-law he’d always been, and two brothers who certainly hadn’t been sharing you between themselves. It was a relief, that you could all go back to your old roles, but you knew Joel wanted more. Every time you’d see him, you’d watch his eyes on your swelling stomach, eyes that would darken when they met your own, with nothing but wanting for you. You knew he would do anything for you, you just had to ask. 

“Can I ask you something?” You pluck up the courage one evening when Tommy is massaging your ankles to try and get the swelling to subside. 

“Course you can.” He comments, his eyes never leaving the sports coverage on the TV in front of him. 

“Promise you won’t get mad?” You’re biting at the corner of one of your nails, worried that you might just be about to ruin everything good you’ve ever had. 

You watch, puzzled, as a smirk appears on Tommy’s face, his hands still working to relieve the aches at your ankles, “What the hell are you smirking for?” You ask. 

“Just think I know what you’re gonna ask for, is all.” 

“Go on then, smartass,” You offer, “What am I going to ask for?” 

“You want Joel, right?” 

What the fuck? How the fuck did he know? Your shock and surprise that he knew exactly what was on your mind must show on your face because he’s chuckling. 

“You’re not mad?” You ask. 

“No sugar, I am not mad,” He smiles, “He did a big thing for us,” He pauses to put a hand on your belly, “I’d be dumb as rocks to think that after all this there wasn’t some kind of connection between you both and that’s okay,” He leans over and presses a soft kiss to your lips, “I know you love me, but if you need him to help then all you had to do was ask.” 

"I just feel guilty," You admit, "That we're doing this together," You rest a hand on your tummy where a foot has just kicked, "And I can't stop thinking about how good it feels when you're both there."

"You don't have to feel guilty," He reassures, "He's as much involved as you or I sugar, and it's okay to ask for what you want, I promise."

“I still want you to be there,” You speak softly, taking hold of his hand, “And you’re sure you’re okay with this?” 

“Don’t worry your pretty head about it, sweetheart,” He smiles, and you can tell it’s genuine, “Leave it with me and I’ll make sure you get what you want.” 

It doesn’t take long for Tommy to make good on his promise. Within the week, you’re led on your bed, trying to relieve the ache in your back for a little bit, when that familiar of knocks at the door rings through the house. You stay horizontal for a while, mind thinking back to all the times you’d done this before. This time you know it has nothing to do with being a means to an end, and everything about you being able to enjoy yourself, and that’s thrilling more than anything else. 

You push yourself up on your hands, leaning back on them slightly, when you can hear Tommy and Joel coming up the stairs. You’re dressed in your usual silk robe. The burgeoning bump in front of you means even if you tie it, it doesn’t fit properly anymore, so you’ve got the most unsexy pair of underwear on, the only stuff that fits right now, but when Joel makes his way through your bedroom door, left open this time, it doesn’t matter, he’s looking at you like you’re the loveliest thing he’s ever seen. 

Tommy is behind him, walking over to take his place on the chair in the corner, leaving you and Joel to have a moment to yourself, for now. Joel leans down and presses his usual chaste kiss to your cheek, pulling back to look down at you, looming over you as he traces your bottom lip with his thumb, just like he had the first night you’d been together. 

“You frustrated, darlin’ girl?” He asks, letting a smirk fall across his lips, “Thought you didn’t need me anymore, didn’t you?” You vehemently shake your head, no, you knew you needed him, and if you’d known Tommy would let you, you’d have asked months ago, “Don’t worry, pretty girl, I think together we can make you feel good.” He tilts his head to Tommy, sat behind you, but for once, your eyes are only on Joel. 

You reach your own hand up to cup his face, letting your fingers trace along the rough hair on his jaw, you want to tell him you’ve missed him, because you have, but instead you just settle for trying to finally get what you want. 

“You gonna spend all night looking at me?” You ask coyly, “Or are you going to eat my pussy?” 

“You drive a hard bargain.” He smirks, dropping to his knees, pulling at your ankles so you’re siting over the end of the bed, his hands coming to undo the tie of your robe, slipping it off to reveal your naked upper half to him. 

“Look what we did, pretty girl,” Joel whispers, big palms running over the swell of your stomach, “Look what we made together.” 

You’re overcome with emotion, tears pricking at your eyes, as his gentle hands trace the bump, mouth trailing just behind his hands as he worships his work, worships what he’s made you. As his fingers hook around the waistband of your underwear and pull them down, you feel the bed dip behind you. Tommy settles himself against your back, letting his legs rest on either side of your own, his lips starting to trail down your neck and across your shoulder as Joel spreads your legs. 

You can feel the breath from Joel’s mouth across the skin of your pussy, your hips bucking to try and meet his mouth. He brings your legs to rest over his broad shoulders, widening your spread legs before his mouth is on you. He’s doing what he always does, using his tongue to lap up at your slick hole first, and he’s groaning whilst he does it. He hasn’t had the taste of you on his mouth for six months, and even he’s surprised with how much he’s missed it. You lean yourself fully back into Tommy’s chest, as his hands come to cup the weight of your tits. They’re sensitive and sore, and he knows to be gentle, but he’s running his thumbs over your peaked nipples just enough that the pleasure outweighs the slight pain you feel. 

It's all inconsequential anyway once Joel trails his tongue up through your folds and over your clit. It’s like the trail of his tongue sets you on fire, lighting every single part of you alight as he touches you. You’re squirming against the pleasure of Tommy’s fingers at your chest, so much so that Joel has to grip the meat of your thighs to keep you steady as he trails the tip of his tongue over your clit in slow, languid movements, working you up slowly this time. 

With Tommy’s lips at your neck and his hands on your tits, and the slow but firm work of Joel’s tongue on your clit, you’re reaching your peak before you really know it’s happening. You can feel your thighs begin to shake and the way you’re grinding yourself into Joel’s face to chase the feeling of his mouth, you know you’re not going to last much longer. You reach down and run your fingers through his hair, anchoring his face to your aching cunt. 

“You gonna come for us baby?” Tommy breathes into your ear, “Go on, let go for us, I know you’ve been waiting.” 

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” You breathe out with every breath you exhale, “I’m- oh my god-”

It hits you like a fucking freight train. Six months of pent-up tension released all at once as you actually scream Joel’s name out into the room. You can feel Tommy’s erection behind you, pressing into your lower back as you arch up into Joel’s mouth, his tongue working you through the aftershocks. 

He pulls his face away from your pussy, rubbing the slick onto your thigh as he presses soft kisses to the delicate skin there whilst you try and fill your lungs with air, trying not to cry at the relief you finally feel after all this time. 

“Wasn’t so hard, was it, pretty girl?” He speaks from between your thighs, finally pulling back enough that you can see those big, brown eyes, “Just needed a little extra help, didn’t you?” You’re too blissed out to care much right now at his teasing tone because he’s right. You did just need a little extra help. 

“You want him to fuck you, sugar?” Tommy asks into your ear. 

Joel stands, hands poised at his shirt buttons, waiting for your permission. You look him straight in the eye, legs spread, your wet cunt on full display for him, “I’d be disappointed if he didn’t.” 

Joel is slipping of his shirt in seconds, belt and jeans soon following. You can already see the bulge in the front of his underwear as Tommy moves from behind you. You move to grip his arm to get him to stay. 

“I’ll be right over here,” He soothes, pointing to the chair, “Just enjoy yourself, okay?” 

You turn your attention back to Joel, who is palming his cock through the thin material of his boxers, watching you as you shuffle back onto the bed. 

“What works for you, pretty girl?” He asks, letting his underwear drop to the floor as he crawls onto the mattress with you, “What makes you feel good?” 

He looms over you, settled between your thighs as he kisses at your neck. He wants you to be comfortable. He knows the positions you both favoured before are a dream now – there’s no way he would want to fold you in half, your legs on his shoulders, like he used to. You bring a hand to his chest, letting your fingers spread through the patchy hair that sits there. 

“Let me ride you?” You ask, almost shyly. 

“Whatever you want, babygirl.” 

Joel stretches out on the mattress and helps you to straddle his waist, holding your hands as you flounder a little to mount his body. He keeps you steady as you reach between the two of you to grab his cock, lining yourself up ready to sink down onto him. 

“I knew you’d be fuckin’ beautiful like this,” He groans as you slide down onto his cock, wet heat enveloping him as his hands rest on your stomach as you start grinding onto him, “Look at you,” He coos, “Puttin’ on a show for your man over there.” 

When you turn your head Tommy is exactly how he usually is, filthy grin plastered on his face, fisting his cock as he watches you take your pleasure from his brother. It makes you feel powerful as you rock your hips, feeling Joel’s cock work inside your pussy as he watches you. 

“It’s a fuckin’ great show too.” Tommy groans as he works himself in his hand. 

You bring your attention back to Joel, palms placed on his chest as you start fucking yourself on him. His hands are on your hips, but instead of the bruising grip they used to hold you in, now he’s softer, gentler with you as he guides your hips in movements that have you both moaning each other’s names. 

“Feels so good Joel,” You choke out, leaning as far forward as you can with your pregnant belly, trailing kisses along his jaw, “Missed this.” 

When you finally lean back, hands on Joel’s knee’s which he’s brought up to rest behind you, feet planted on the bed so he can finally start thrusting up into your aching cunt, you know it won’t be long until you’re seeing stars again. Joel brings his hand to your pussy, thumb rubbing tight circles across your clit. 

“Missed you too, pretty girl,” He groans, hips faltering as he thrusts up into you, he’s close too, “Missed feeling this pretty pussy clench around me when you’re gonna come for me.” 

“Don’t stop,” You breathe, “I’m so fucking close Joel.” 

He does exactly what you ask, keeps a steady rhythm of thrusts into your pussy, his hand working at your clit. You take a moment to look at Tommy, who gives you a wink as you watch him, eyes on him as he comes, covering his lower belly and his hand with his spend as he continues to watch you. 

“Come on, pretty girl,” Joel growls, bringing your attention back down to him, “Come for me.” 

You can feel the walls of your tight heat fluttering around his cock as you start to come around him. You hold yourself up with your hands on his knees as your vision blurs and pleasure spools its way across your body. You’re crying out his name as you feel him still inside you, the warmth of his spend seeping into you as he groans your name. Filling you right to the brim like he’d always done before, gripping your hips to keep you in place as your walls continued to flutter around him through your aftershocks. 

Once he’s sure you’re both finished, Joel helps you to lie down on the bed, pulling you off him and settling you on your back. You can hear Tommy at the other side of the room, doing his jeans up before he’s padding out of the room and down the stairs. 

“Are you alright?” Joel asks, lips close to your ear as he lets himself take a moment alone with you, hand resting on your stomach as the baby inside you wriggles around. 

“I’m fine,” You sigh, turning to look at him, he’s so close, his hand warm and protective on your swollen belly, “Thank you.” 

“None of that, pretty girl,” He can see the tears forming in your eyes, he takes your chin in his fingers, tilting your face just enough to press the softest kiss to your lips, “No more tears.” 

You bring your hand to his face, pulling him back down for another kiss, soft and over far too quickly, pulling away just as Tommy starts back up the stairs. By the time he’s in the room with a glass of water and the tablets you were taking to keep your heartburn at bay, Joel is already pulling on his clothes. You’re standing up, aiming to pick your robe up from the floor, but Joel beats you to it – handing you the silk material before bending to pick up his shirt. 

When he’s dressed, it’s the same as always, you both press kisses to each other’s cheeks and say goodbye. Tommy walks him downstairs, and you can hear them talking a little as you head to the bathroom. If there’s one thing you weren’t risking, it was a UTI whilst pregnant. As you’re washing your hands you can hear the front door close, and the sound of Tommy’s footsteps back on the stairs. 

You meet him outside the bedroom door, shedding his clothes as you do the same. It takes you a while to find a position you’re comfortable enough in to consider sleeping – led on your back with Tommy’s hand firmly on your stomach as is had been since the very beginning, his head on the pillow next to yours. 

“Thank you,” You say into the darkness, “For trusting us.” 

Tommy takes a moment before he replies, “I know he makes you happy,” He kisses your cheek, “All I ever want is for you to be happy.” 

[genderqueerdykes]

Hello, yesterday I tried posting something to you but was met with a lot of setbacks. I'm a trans woman who wants to give her ideas on this trans infighting between trans men and women. Before I start I want to say that one of your prior asks said how porn of trans women was in the "#transmen" - literally the only people I see who see that and actually like it are chasers who don't know any better (or just don't care). It invalidates gender for both trans men AND trans women (I mean if these people were bigender, that's another story but...it's clearly not as I don't think chasers are THAT into trans terminology, we're just "chicks with dicks" or "boys with clits" - if even THAT is the nuance taken). Especially as the hastags on the post are normally anything to do with being trans, including TERF shit. I wanted to reply to that ask but...Tumblr must hate me for some reason. This may be perceived as a "simplistic" take from all the posts and asks but...to start with, I don't think it's right to paint all men as being beneficiaries to patriarchal society. Many of them just aren't. Those who fall down Tate and Incel pipelines aren't secure, thriving men. They're struggling with their own bullshit. Now there are plenty of women who also have little groups that fall into that category (Tradwife and Radfem). We all have the ability to fall down those pipelines though. We all have the ability to be shitty people to eachother (if you're an adult, chances are you ARE someone's "shitty person" in a story). The thing is we need to recognize our similarities over our differences. In some respects...yes I would say we need to do this for said groups I mentioned. It'll probably take years but...I don't see it as impossible (one of my toxic traits is believing people can do better) Also, just a quick note - Trans rights are clearly on the chopping block and will be for the next 4 years. This infighting will ONLY be an easy distraction for that to happen.

thank you so much for stopping by!

tumblr keeps randomly restricting who can and can't respond to my posts. it's not me. i do not watch my posts that closely. i will delete replies and block people if they're being shitheads and i notice it but generally my posts are kind of free reign for people to have discussion on because i literally cannot control everyone who interacts with my blog that would be impossible. thanks for sending an ask though!

Before I start I want to say that one of your prior asks said how porn of trans women was in the "#transmen" - literally the only people I see who see that and actually like it are chasers who don't know any better (or just don't care). It invalidates gender for both trans men AND trans women (I mean if these people were bigender, that's another story but…it's clearly not as I don't think chasers are THAT into trans terminology, we're just "chicks with dicks" or "boys with clits" - if even THAT is the nuance taken). Especially as the hastags on the post are normally anything to do with being trans, including TERF shit. I wanted to reply to that ask but…Tumblr must hate me for some reason.

agreed, wholeheartedly. many people have pointed out it's bots doing this, but it doesn't change the fact that it's very upsetting for anyone to see this kind of thing overwhelming their tags when they're just trying to talk to people and find community. even if it's bots doing this it doesn't change how dysphoric it is to go into a tag for your given gender and feel unrepresented in your own tag, somehow. it's not right.

and i have noticed like. i'm not sex or kink negative. far from it. but it really seems like people do not understand how to appropriately tag fetish content and por n. like it's really getting out of control at this point. i have another ask about this that i'll answer as well. trans sexuality is so important. like so, so important. it's holy, it's beautiful. it shouldn't be censored. however there's a problem with por n and erotica being just about the only text + photo posts in SO many queer tags. people seem to be trying to use tumblr as a queer erotica sight at this point and it's very uncomfortable

what you've mentioned is something i've noticed. it's one thing to have a fetish and to use fetishizing language in a private space but people are not doing a good job of keeping their content out of general queer tags. like the transmasc, trans man, transfem, trans women, butch, lesbian and nonbinary tags really do not need to be this full of por n and erotica, y'all. it's getting out of hand. i'm talking about just the general tags for these things. there are a lot of people wanting to connect with other people who identify this way who do not want to do so sexually or do not have a kink relating to their gender

also nobody really seems to give a shit about asexuals, either, and anyone else who is sex repulsed. it's frustrating as all hell.

i appreciate you for taking the time to send this! thank you very might! i really appreciate your insight!

[ladybirdswritings]

BEAUTY AND THE HYBRID - Klaus Mikaelson Fanfiction

summary: a slip of burlap rope brings an unsuspecting woman to a bloodthirsty hybrid.

warnings: mentions of ab*se, stockholm syndrome, captivity, dea*h, and violence.

next chapter <3 | a03 | tag list

three

Painful throbbing, burning at my skull. It's warm, wet. The light filters through beige burlap weakly, making me squint. I try to sit up, but my body betrays me with its weakness.

"Apple please."

Soft hands shake me, a distant whisper echoing through my ringing ears.

"Birdie." My voice fails me, and my words are merely mouthed.

"I'm here, please get up."

She sounds so scared, but I can't remember why. Not now. The same soft hands gently pull at me, guiding me upright. This new position makes me yelp, pounding- drumming viciously at my skull in punishment for the shift. Blood rushes, making me dizzy. My body slumps backward, the floor is bumpy.

Small fingertips tug at the burlap till its ridded of. The light is unwelcome, I squint- eyes flooding with tears from the pain.

"Holy shit."

Birdie.

She has maneuvered her way onto her knees. Her brunette eyes are wide, urgent. Her palms, tied together alongside her ankles, press against the spot where my skull pounds most. When she pulls them back to analyze- they are stained crimson.

I wince.

She looks around urgently, but it seems as though there is nothing that satisfies her to help.

A van, we're in a van.

We hit a bump and it makes her fall back to the floor.

My gaze shifts toward the burlap sack once blinding me, it's all red. It's blood... my blood. I feel a drop of it fall down my temple.

Birdie struggles for a moment but manages to sit upright. As horrible as this situation looks, I cannot understand it. Not until Birdie speaks again.

"The case. Apple... they got the case."

I don't understand it at first. Birdie sees that when I furrow my brows... but it seems as though in an instant, it all floods back to me. The diner, The waitress, the case, the killers, and for some odd reason? The man with the piercing blue eyes.

Holy fuck. Holy. Fuck.

I can't stop it, I shake my bruised and bloodied head as my lips swell far too quickly for me to halt. They tremble, and my skull pounds harder as my tears begin to fall.

"Oh my god, oh my god..."

This is all my fault. We, my Birdie and stupid I, are trapped in a white van with vicious murderers all because of some mysterious case I had so I could afford Joel's meds.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

"Apple, hey its okay."

"Birdie did they hurt you? Tell me they didn't, oh my god..."

Her jaw is tense, she shakes her head immediately.

"No, they didn't I swear. They just bonked you. Really fuckin' hard.

I slump in relief. A very small amount of it.

My eyes close, images horrifying and unwelcome flooding my scattered mind. I breathe deep, the smell of my own blood nauseating me instantly. Still, I think of mom... I think of how she would handle this.

I center soon. Not because I am strong, but because in front of me is Birdie. My eyes open again.

"Okay. Okay, Birdie. We're okay, I'm gonna get us out of here, alright?"

She doesn't believe me, I can see it in those frightened eyes. If I believed in a force above, I would pray right now, beg him for all the answers I need. All I can think of is mom, and Joel.

Fuck. Joel.

His meds are in my purse, and he's just missed them. He's alone, he's worried.

The man isn't my biological father, he is Birdie's... but it never made him feel like any less of a dad to me... even if it was just one-sided.

But now? I've gone and fucked it all up, thinking I was going to save him. My tears threaten to poke at my gaze again but I stifle them, wincing as another droplet of blood travels down my sunken face. Down my cheekbone and jaw, dripping from my chin. My eyes watch as it falls, staining the lump in my pocket.

Birdie's gift...

Wait...

Birdie's gift!

"Birdie, listen... I need you to help me alright? Reach in my pocket and pull out the box."

She nods, doing so immediately with much struggle. Still? By some miracle she manages, even while bound by the burlap round her wrists. I instruct her to bring it to my teeth and I tug on the ribbon with them, using my nose to push the cover off.

"Holy shit, is this my gift?"

I smile sadly, "Happy birthday, Birdie."

She smiles back just the same. Birdie places the box in my lap and pulls the oak wood pocket knife with the engraving of a lightning bug upon it out from its olive box with cream ribbon. She shakily hands it to me just in time, just before another bump in the road sends her back on her bum.

My hands are weak, weak enough that it nearly makes me drop the gift from my grasp. One look at Birdie bound and it's enough to allow a shot of adrenaline to course through me. I meet my sister's suspicious eyes.

"Apple, it's a dull knife. We'll still be cutting by the time these assholes grab us again."

I shake my head at her,

"Birdie... the rope. It's burlap. Remember what Joel taught us in Haddonfield?"

A surge of remembrance and hope overtakes her gaze as she nods eagerly. Joel's voice echoes in my head.

"One cut, twist, pull, slam."

"I just need one good cut."

The knife is dull, very dull... but I am patient. I scrape the blade against the frayed burlap once, twice, thrice. No avail. Birdie frowns, knee bouncing as I repeat the same process four more times. The van is slowing now, just a bit. We gulp in unison.

"Try angling it more." She whispers, I nod.

Once, twice, thrice.

It's cut.

We both laugh in gratefulness and exasperation, and I glance upward to whatever imaginary or otherwise force looms above.

Please let this work.

Birdie and I speak and unison.

"One cut. Twist... pull... slam!"

I bring the burlap down on my knee in a quick motion and by some incredible grace? It snaps in two. We laugh again.

"Fuck yeah dude. Hurry!"

I create quick friction as I drag the blade back and forth upon the burlap on my ankles, once it's halfway split- I push both of my feet in opposite directions and the rope snaps again. My luck is slowly resurfacing.

I cannot control the hopeful tears that flood my eyes, I sniffle and wipe at them as I crawl to Birdie and begin working on the rope.

"Wait! Check the doors first."

She's right, we need to escape quick. Everything aches within me as I manage to drag myself to the metal doors at the very back of the van where we are caged. My luck once again dances in a joyous victory.

"It locks from the inside, bird."

She sighs in relief as I click the lock open.

"Some shitty kidnappers, huh?"

I smile at her humor, only to make her feel at ease but in actuality? I wasn't listening, only rushing back on all fours to keep cutting at the burlap rope. I make quick work of the wrists, as does she at breaking free. She flexes her fingertips happily.

"Just one more to go..." I whisper, cutting quickly at the burlap round her ankles.

"Okay bird, hard as you can, kick one foot out and one foot in." She nods, but god- she's small. Strong, but small. It doesn't work. Fear bites at the skin between her brows with a wrinkle.

"It's okay, its okay... again."

She tries harder this time, but the rope remains in tact. The van goes slower now.

"Fuck. Just go, Apple. Go!"

More tears flood me, fearful ones now. I grip her chin between by index and thumb, forcing her to look at my eyes. My voice is guttural.

"Hey. No, mm mm. I'm not leaving here without you, do you understand me? One more time, come on Birdie. Harder!"

She tries again, but nothing.

"Fuck!" I cry, sliding the blade back and forth upon the rope as quick as I can, as urgent as I can. Both of our eyes are wide, and even wider when we hear the doorknob to the front cab turn.

I drop the knife, not bothering with the stupid fucking thing any longer and I tug hard as I can on the rope, cutting up my palms red and splintered in the process.

We don't have time.

"Nonononono please, please god." I whisper.

The door opens.

"Hmm, maybe next time you start to play with my locks- you'll think about who's in control of them." The man, jet black hair and suited towers over us.

I push Birdie to the corner and grasp the knife in my unstable, sliced palms.

"Hey, get the fuck back!" I spit, but it only makes the man smirk.

"Oh how sweet and incredibly stupid of you. What a brave sister."

I yelp as he makes quick work of bending my wrist back in a direction it wasn't crafted to be in. The knife falls, clattering against the floor as the van speeds up again. Quickly, urgently for some reason.

"He's on us, El!"

"Then faster, you imbecile!"

My wrist is still bent, but the pain becomes white noise when I gaze up at the man for the first time since the diner.

I chill, immediately.

"You've been enough trouble... Stupidly so, you've made me hungry from all the work you've been."

Horrible, gray veins protrude from under reddened eyes. Sharp teeth emerging from that once perfect smile. Stalking me, prey.

My god.

He's a monster.

I shrink, hoping Birdie is smart enough to just close her eyes. She isn't.

"Die, motherfucker!"

She sticks him in the side with the pocket knife, yet I know my sister. She knows it isn't enough.

"Birdie!"

She ignores my cry, desperate and brave she is, pushing my body back with so much force I didn't know she could harness. I fall through the doors, the pavement greeting me harshly, slamming against me as my body rolls amongst it from the speed the van once travelled.

Birdie doesn't follow.

The same spot that throbs slams against cold road seven more times, till my vision is blurred and the concrete is flooded red. All of it hurts, all at once, so much so that I cannot pinpoint the pain anymore- only my exhaustion. I stop, eventually.

The sun mocks my unwilling eyes, meshing the clouds together to a mess of gray. A storm looming. My body betrays me once more, I can't bare to keep my eyes open any longer. I fight it still, weak, soft blinks before they fall shut.

I am fighting.

Birdie.

Voices. Distant but somehow close.

"My god."

Stiletto steps near me quickly, two fingers as icy as the palms upon me earlier press themselves against my neck. It's a woman, now. Another golden blonde, I think.

I part my lips, I can't speak. I can't cry out.

"It's miraculous Nik, for a human. She has a pulse. How on god's green earth did she survive that?"

Birdie. It's because of Birdie.

Boots near me upon the same pavement that bloodied me.

"Must be a miracle, Rebekah. Gather her, we need to regroup."

The fallen angel, the honey, that voice.

I'm exhausted. I can't listen any longer.

The voices are distant again, I am at peace.

[lil-gae-disaster]

i love those stupid ass adult fags who are almost in their 40's (as of 2011)

I might've given Nox a bit o' alc in this one... wanted to see how that'd be 😔

Edit: HOLY SHIT THIS TURNED OUT TO BE LONG AF

Kisses for you (Because I love you too)

Ever since the parent day at Hogwarts - a day from which Nox still needs to recover mentally - said man started to hang out with a certain other man. None other than Blaze Allard, his teenage love (allthough the love was, most likely, one-sided.)

Being the obvious but also oblivious person he is, others around them started to notice how close they've been lately and how they look at eachother. Nox for his part was still to notice that his love - which hasn't died since he was 14 - wasn't as one-sided as he thought it to be. Quite on the contrary, seen as his love was more than requited. Everyone seemed to notice. Except them, somehow.

People around them all felt different about this. There were some who couldn't stand the idea, such as Ivy, who was utterly jealous of Nox, and Leo, who was being pity and hated idea the in general. Others couldn't care less. Clorinde, Nox' significantly younger sister, was one of them. But being the wingwoman she didn't know she was, she invited them both to her birthday.

So here the two lovebirds were, sitting in Clorinde's living room. The party had already winded down, the guests had all started to return to their own homes and even Clorinde headed to bed, being so kind as to let both of them stay at her's for the night. "Just don't stay up for too long now.", she reminded them, like some sort of mother would. Which makes sense considering she's planning to adopt a certain student of hers.

Little did they know, Clorinde left them alone in the room on purpose. And little did they know, the fact that her sofa functions as only one bed was on purpose too - though if they'd notice, she'd brush it off as being drunk while setting it up.But that'd be a thing to worry about later. Because right now, neither of the men were worried about anything. They were happily chatting, allthough a little quieter than before, telling eachother stories about the happenings in the magical world and the muggle world. It was clear that one of them definitely had a few sips of alcohol - Nox was starting to sound a bit tipsy and his words were sounding slurred. Blaze on the other hand had barely touched a drop, having expected drive home later in the evening. So, natural, he was still completely sober.

Unlike Nox, who was clearly somewhat drunk, seeing as he was repeating a story he had already told that night. It was cute, really. The way he kept stumbling over his words, his face red from the alcohol he drank. It caused the older of the two to chuckle multiple times. Does Nox even know what his drunken behaviour is doing to Blaze? When he finally couldn't take it anymore, he spoke up, knowing he needed to confess while the other was still somewhat sober.

"Nox?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

The silence was loud. Nox was staring at the man next to him with wide eyes until he laughed slighty in his drunken manor, causing Blaze's heart to flutter with both butterflies and a slight feel of hurt. "Hah... You're amazing. That was a good joke." The taller man took another sip of his wine, brushing it off as a joke until the silence made him look at the other again. "Hold on. You're not joking, are you."

Another silence. Then Blaze nodded, making Nox believe it even less.

"You can't be serious! How- How can some like you, beautiful and astonishing, like some as me? I mean, just look at me!" He gestured to himself. "I can't control my liquor! I'm half-blind, I'm reckless, heck, I mostly don't even feel like a man! No, Blaze, you cannot possible love someone like me." With that, he finishes his glass to drown his sorrow and the hurt he feels at his own words.

But then the beautiful man next to him speaks again. "That's where you're wrong, Nox. I love you. I don't care if you don't feel like a man at times, I love you despite that. I couldn't care less if you can't control your liquor, because goddamn it, you're cute when you're drunk. And good fucking hell, your scar makes you even more handsome. I love you, regardless of what you call your flaws. I love you for who you are. So, if you love me too... Will you allow me to be your boyfriend? And if you don't feel the same, then-"

He was cut off as Nox suddenly pulled him in for a kiss by his shoulders. Both of their faces were red and hot, both of flustered as hell. Nox felt as if he could die at this moment. He doubted he'd remember this the next day, but he hoped this wouldn't be the last time he'd get to have the feel and taste of Blaze's lips.

It was when they were both at a loss for air that Nox pulled away from - in his opinion - the most beautiful man in the world, allthough he did so reluctantly. Both men just stared at eachother with red faces, until a soft and loving smile sneaked onto the faces of them both. So, they just stared at eachother in comfortable silence. Until Nox dared to speak.

"Blaze?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

With a chuckle, the older of the two placed a kiss on his new lover's nose. "I love you too, dear."

And Nox swore to Merlin's beard, he felt the happiest he ever was when he woke up in Blaze's arms the next morning, knowing he was loved by the one he loves.

Gay.

[milogreer]

HELLO here are my incoherent thoughts on these kick ass playlists 💖 this is even longer than part one because i'm soooo normal about blake, milo, and morgan specifically. obviously. have fun 😇

elliot

this side of paradise takes me out EVERY TIME. ENOUGH

okaayyyy fourth of july? closing this playlist now-

RIBS?? rubs temples

frame the halves and call them brothers….

RUN BOY RUN IS MAKING ME SICK

no fuckin way you put sufjan’s fourth of july on here too. HELLO?

blake

sorry in advance ‘cause i fear. i will be very insane about this one. 2 hours and 45 minutes??

okay so i already said in previous tags that ‘the red means i love you’ made me grind my teeth together but i’ll say it here too. cause it’s true.

“i can fit two people under my skin […] you crawled up in there and joined me within” LOVE this song grrrr

monet issues ……… okay i am listening. “spent too many years finding myself in the wreckage under rubble, i got myself in trouble” “blood doesn’t mean a thing when you cannot fucking breathe and you lose yourself completely” IM DONE LISTENING.

STALKER’S TANGOOO A CLASSIC. no notes.

“and i found jesus, what a liar, so i trade licks with muddy waters�� COME ONNN

FUCKIN SLEEPWALK?? holy shit i haven’t heard this song in ages. fuck this one is so good

stoppp stop stop saint bernard??? this song makes me CRAZY

an unhealthy obsession ✔️ another classic yandere song. “you’ve got those eyes that drive me crazy and i’ve got eyes to watch you sleep” 💀

THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED ON IDLE WORSHIP

BACKSTABBER OMG. i legit haven’t heard this song since i was a teen. fuck yeah. bonus points for the basement line gdkjghfkl

“i hear voices, i see visions / these spirits are your prison” ‼️‼️‼️

of course we must have meant to be yours. what yandere character playlist is complete without it

cold cold cold YESSS. GENIUS. “as the darkness falls, it fills up both my eyes / my life before me like a flash in the night” YES

this is love is going to make me start throwing things for REAL. “everyone that tried to fix me knows that i can’t change a bit / i’ve got no shame, got no pride, only skeletons to hide” RRRGGGG

sitting with brutus for a long time. many thoughts. also “as i set to face it, i’m unsure / should i embrace it, should i run? what motivates me, hatred? is it love?” GOD

‘bad idea right?’ mhm mhm nodding sagely

MY WAY OF LIFE. YOU GET ME.

AND SUPER PSYCHO LOVE WOOO. i love yandere songs <3

this took almost my whole lunch break but it was so worth it. tysm for this i can’t wait to be even more mentally ill about blake than i already was by listening to this in full lmfao

sam/darlin

oh my fuckin god francesca.... "how could you think, darlin, i'd scare so easily?" "my life was a storm since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?" STOP.

thank you for putting lil nas between two hozier songs bc i needed the reprieve honestly before de selby (part 2). this is sick

save a horse ride a cowboy my beloved <3

YOO FIRECRACKER. josh turner <33 ik sam is literally southern but it's still so fun to me when there's country songs on his playlists 'cause i feel like country songs are never on character playlists :') i love this

no but this is full of gems... tongues & teeth, we'll never have sex, arms tonight, the night we met, until i found you, i found ?? it just keeps going. NORTHERN ATTITUDE?? LITTLE LION MAN. CEILINGS. i have to get out of here actually

I'M DYING AT SHAKE IT FOR ME. how is this song from 2011 i feel SO OLD

sam

pleaaase please not family line again 🫠

bdg covered lay all your love on me??? this is sending me to the MOON

MMM ain't it fun is so so good. thinking

i think you had believe me in one of your other posts abt sam but mannn MAN. MAN I LOVE IT.

seeing jaymes young on playlists gives me ptsd like i KNOW whatever song it is is gonna hurt. and it did here too 😔

david

kind of really obsessed with this cover of make a man out of you

bahaha true love by p!nk 😭 sooo real. i love this song

[sees yellow by coldplay] HEY 🫵🏼 stop that!!

SAINT BERNARD AGAIN BRO. CMON

i don't know welcome home son by radical face but i know enough radical face to be afraid of that song LMAO

asher

hard times is such a banger for ash, like ... this energy with these lyrics >>>

wow i only know a handful of these actually 🫣 LOVE scrawny for him sm AND ELECTRIC LOVE<3

milo

MY MAIN MAN. RGHH. something so personal abt his cover having a cross necklace *_*

good old fashioned lover boy EXACTLY EXACTLY. i'm literally always saying this

listening to i can't handle change like this 😐🧍🏼‍♀️ why would you do this to me

hmm i wasn't sure abt sweater weather at first but actually yeah... yeah

oohh nothing is so sweet 🥺 like giving me a cavity sweet. i love it

wait i've been listening to this one as a real playlist and why did it take me halfway through everywhere i go to remember this wasn't just my liked songs LMFAO

rolling from would that i into bad idea right has me CACKLING. kind of a genius pick! really fun song from either POV honestly

WOMANIZER IS SO TRUE like sometimes i'm sorta picky abt referring to him as some kind of playboy but like . he's CHARMING. we all know this. he sure as shit knows it

oh fuck shut up and drive?? between this and animals on david's playlist i'm gonna act UP

hey speaking of nickelback LOL she keeps me up is such a fun song

HAHAHA VIOLET?? "looking through the peephole on the door of my apartment" STOP that's so funny 😭😭

hmmmm. slides habits onto my blake playlist.

us putting teeth on our milo playlists🤝 god this song rules

what the fuck did troye sivan put in this album?? "i feel like my mother might like you" 🥺🥺

jealousy jealousy !! "i think too much 'bout kids who don't know me" SHH. HUSH. finding out even milo gets self conscious was like a kick in the head

OH MAN CLASSIC IS SO GOOD.

vincent, vincent/lovely, & porter

speedrunning all them in one go cause i'm not super into these guys RIP

two birds is SICK it is sick and twisted on every playlist i've ever seen or put it on

extremely satisfied to see electric love on here LMAO opportunity knocked and you answered!

STOP WITH SUFJAN'S FOURTH OF JULYYY OW

strawberry wine ....... 🫠

oh my god and through me (the flood) wtf.

LITTLE TALKS. good god i was just shot back to my sophomore year of high school

oohhhh the busted wine bottle for porter's cover >>>

ok the first four songs on porter's KICK ASS. brutus in this context gives me goosebumps like crazy ("if you want i'll call you king, but why do i lie awake each night thinking instead of you, it should be me" GEEZ)

first time??? okay. i'm glad that's the end of this because that's so mean 😭

geordi

this luigi's mansion remix goes so hard

FUCK ABOUT IT >:0 my best friend sent me that for them a few weeks ago!! sick and twisted but so so tasty

songs i can't listen to is going to make me WEEP. AHHHH

literally the first line in i love you so gets me every single time for him 😐 and it's all downhill from there

vampire?? VAMPIRE? dog. you can't do this to me.

DIAL DRUNK YOU CANTTT DO THIS 😭😭

okay my girlfriend is a witch is making me giggle so you're forgiven LMAO

never mind you put be nice to me on here. "there's very little left of me and it's never coming back" WE'RE SO OVER

morgan

^ me rn opening morgan's playlist knowing i'm to blame for it. i’ve had dinner between morgan and geordi so i have ENERGY.

i only know once in a lifetime from the meme but “letting the days go by, let the water hold me down” ✔️✔️✔️ same as it ever was‼️‼️

DEAD MAN’S PARTY YESSS THE VIBES!!!!

ooohhhh what’s the time where you are !! i rly liked this one when i first heard it on milo’s (i think) & it fits rly well here too :0

murder on the dancefloor ✍🏻✍🏻

I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECT STARING INTO THE TV SET 🎶🎶 FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE

argh i have GOT to listen to more of duo’s music ….

GIRLS ON FILM 👯‍♀️🎥

mad world??? “the dreams in which i’m dying at the best i’ve ever had” ??? this isn’t fun anymore 😐

you worry too much, you make yourself sad ‼️ you can’t change fate but don’t feel so bad‼️

OK OK I’M DONE. DOG THESE ARE SO AWESOME. the effort you’ve put into them is NUTS and they’re so gorgeous !! i had a blast listening and reacting to them hehe ty again for sharinggg and i am NOT sorry for inspiring the morgan playlist 😌💕

my redacted audio spotify playlists - pt one

alrighty gang, here we are! ive been teasing it for a while, but im finally making a post with the links to my redacted audio playlists.

the ones i have public are the only ones that will be included, i dont have my listener character ones public rn only because theyre based on my interpretations of the listeners and are very special to me.

anyways, lets get on to the fun part! btw, some of the songs on the ship playlists might skew a bit towards a gendered-ish feel. thats just based on my interpretation of the listener characters. the songs can still work in a gender neutral sense.

included in this; guy/honey, guy, the D.A.M.N. crew, gavin/freelancer, lasko/coworker, gavin, lasko, damien, huxley, elliott/sunshine

i will be reblogging this soon with the rest of the playlists, have no fear hjkfagfh

the playlists

━━━━━━

guy/honey

guy

the D.A.M.N. crew (mainly polyDAMN)

gavin/freelancer

lasko/coworker

gavin

lasko

damien

huxley

elliott/sunshine

[ashwhowrites]

Bratty Eddie's ex

Half of it is proofread. I'll do it later

Angst to smut to fluff

"Okay so remember we need to leave once I say because I have that important meeting tomorrow morning then we have to meet the realtor for the house, you cannot be late, got it?"

"Okay" Eddie said smiling, watching as she zipped up his jacket and pecked his lips

"alright let's go"

The couple raced out of their small trailer and out to their car. Heading to the party they were invited to.

It didn't take long for Eddie to get tipsy, dancing in the middle of the living room. Not quite sure where his girlfriend was at the moment.

"Eddie Munson?" Eddie's ears perked up when he heard his name, turning around. Eyes bulging out of his head as he saw his ex from years ago

"holy shit! Jess" He laughed, throwing his arms around her and she hugged him. Jess was his ex from before he met Y/N. The last woman he was ever his old self with. Back when he was dominant, controlling and mean.

"wow! I can't believe I ran into you. How have you been?" She asked over the music

"so good! I have a girlfriend and we are looking at a house tomorrow together! How are you?" He explained happily. He was excited about his future with Y/N. Living in a new home together, making a house their own.

"that's amazing. Good for you. I'm doing well" she smiled, a hand landing on his arm as she congratulated him.

"Eddie hey! Are you ready to go?" Y/N came out of nowhere. Eyes glaring at the girls hand on Eddie's arm.

"I'm actually catching up with an old friend right now. Can we stay a tad bit longer?" He asked, puppy eyes asking her softly

"actually ex-girlfriend" Jess said with a smirk, she didn't enjoy the way Eddie's new girlfriend was drop dead gorgeous.

"oh ex girlfriend? That's....great. I wish we could but it's already late. Maybe another time" Y/N said sharply. Throwing Eddie a look, it was time to leave now. But his eyes looked so soft and pleading.

"five minutes" she snapped, walking off to the car.

"Is she always controlling like that? The Eddie I knew didn't ever take demands from a girl. That would totally take a jab at his manhood" Jess laughed. Eddie felt himself growing uncomfortable. He knew his girlfriend was pissed but he also felt like Jess was right. He was a man and he was in charge of himself. Y/N did tend to control him a lot, but he knew she only did because he liked it. But did a part of him miss being the one in charge? Being the one who told how it was and forced women to comply with his demands?

"I'll be right back" he said to Jess. Downing the rest of his drink as he walked out to the car. The alcohol in his system was definitely a factor for the dumbest decision he was about to make

"are you ready?" She asked, unlocking the car

"I want to stay" he said. Standing his ground

"Eddie, we can't. It's already midnight and I have to be up at 7 for my meeting and you need to be ready by 8:30" she explained. She already had this conversation with him before they even left.

"I don't care. I want to stay. I don't need your permission. I can take care of myself and make my own decisions. I am capable of doing shit without you. I'm letting you know that I'm staying" he said as strongly as he could. Crossing his arms as he looked down at her

"Knock it off. Get in the car Eddie" she snapped. She was slowly losing her temper. She didn't have time for his attitude.

"Y/N, I said I am staying. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. Jess can bring me home" he growled back. His eyes squinting at her

For once in their relationship Eddie saw something in her change. Watching as her body deflated and her eyes cracking. Was she....was she upset? Her anger faded, he could see her eyes getting wet. Was she going to cry? Fuck, she doesn't cry. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"consider me told, have fun then Edward" she said, voice cracking as she got in the car, not looking back as she drove home

Edward? She never calls him Edward. He felt his throat close up. He made her upset. He's never once made her upset. Mad? Definitely. Annoyed? All the time. But actually upset and hurting her feelings? He's never done that.

~~

"don't fucking cry" she whispered to herself. Slamming the car door as she walked into the trailer.

He's never once called her by her first name since they first started dating. But hearing him call her by her first name while his ex-girlfriend sat in the party waiting for him to come back hurt her way more than she would have liked to admit. A fling from the past shows up and suddenly she's just Y/N? She usually never gets upset about these things. She knew Eddie loved her and the trust they had was unbreakable. She didn't care that he wanted to stay, it was the fact he demanded it all because Jess was there. Her Eddie loved being submissive and not making his own decisions. He liked to be taken care of, he didn't have it as a child and she was trying to pick up the pieces. He was dominant before her, she knew that. She had a feeling Jess reminded him back to when he was in charge of everything. Did he miss it? Did he actually not enjoy having her as his mommy anymore? Was she actually controlling and demanding? She just tried to look out for him but maybe she's doing it in the wrong way?

A new feeling of insecurity was filling her as she changed into her pajamas. She pulled away the blankets, getting her side ready as she moved to Eddie's side. Preparing to prep his side for bed but stopped. He wanted to take care of himself? Fine. She fixed his side neatly, crawling to her side and cuddling under the covers. Making sure her back was to his side. She didn't want the reminder that he wasn't home.

~~

Eddie was definitely even more drunk when Jess dropped him off. Hanging his head as he saw the trailer coming up

"I think I made her sad" he admitted, a pout on his lips as he unbuckled his seatbelt

"who cares? You are Eddie Munson. You loved making girls cry remember?" She laughed

"that's not me anymore. She....she changed me for the better. I love her and I hurt her feelings" he was disappointed in himself.

"look Eddie, you are a grown up. You don't need mommy to tell you when to go to bed and have a curfew" she mocked. But Eddie hated the way it made him feel. She wasn't "mommy" because she controlled everything. She was "mommy" because she loved him unconditionally. She loved him through his abuse, trauma, temper tantrums, and everything else that made him so fucked up. And he basically told her he didn't need her.

"you don't get it" he said sadly, even more disappointed in himself for staying with an ex when he knew he should have gone home. He could be in her arms, sleeping and dreaming of her. Not sitting in his ex's car as she talked down on his relationship.

He removed himself from her car, walking into the silent house. Not a single light on, that was weird. She always left the kitchen light on for him. He swallowed the lump in his throat. Quietly removing his shoes. His eyes catching the clock on the microwave

2:30

Shit, he thought to himself. He slowly walked into the bedroom, another dark and silent room. He switched on the lamp, seeing her sleeping body cuddled into the blankets. Her back facing him. He noticed his side of the bed was spotless, not pulled, waiting for his arrival. His sad eyes looked from her to the bed and back to her, was he even welcomed to sleep here? He changed into new boxers and pulled the sheets, crawling beside her. Hesitantly moving himself closer. Touching her shoulder as he traced his palm down her arm and around her waist.

"mommy?" He squeaked out softly. A tiny bit of hope that she was awake.

He sighed to himself as he got no answer. Kissing her shoulder softly as he closed his eyes.

~~

Y/N woke up to her alarm blaring. Smashing it off, pissed that she couldn't sleep off her attitude. She looked over and saw Eddie snoring beside her. His adorable face shoved in his pillow, and his hand inches away from where her body was. She tore her eyes away and got herself ready for work.

Not bothering to wake him up and went out the door.

~~

Eddie groaned as he felt his head start to pound. Rolling over to search for his girlfriends body. Frowning when he didn't feel her. He rubbed his eyes as he blinked to the now bright room. Her side of the bed was made, her pajamas folded on her pillow. He sat up and looked around the room. Feeling the need to throw up, he raced to their bathroom. Puking out everything in his body from the night before.

"BABY?" he screamed, holding his hair back as he puked harder. She always helped him when he was hungover. Tying his hair back as she rubbed his back. Puking made him panic. And she somehow always knew how to calm him down.

He sniffled as he heard no response. Reminding himself he was okay. Flushing the toilet and moving to the sink to brush his teeth. He spit out his toothpaste and took out medicine from the cabinet. Sticking his mouth under the faucet to swallow the pills.

He held his head as he moved into the kitchen, his eyes looking at the clock

9:00

"SHIT" he panicked, running into the bedroom. Throwing on any clean clothes he could find. He was late, she was going to kill him.

He raced to his car, throwing it in drive as he sped to the house. His head was still pounding as he got out of the car. Racing into the house

"so the bedroom and bathroom are connected right?"

He sighed in relief hearing her voice. He coughed as he walked up to them.

"I'm so sorry I'm late" he apologized to the realtor, but mostly he meant it for her. He hated that she refused to look at him. His hand slowly moved to grasp hers. Flinching as she crossed her arms the second she felt his hand. He swallowed another lump in his throat. Following behind silently as she talked with the realtor, touring the small house.

~~

He followed behind her as they drove back to their trailer. Quickly getting out as she walked to the front door

"can we talk?" He asked, walking in behind her

"about what?" She said nonchalantly. Sitting on the couch as she turned on the tv

"last night?"

"nothing to talk about Eddie. You wanted to stay and I wanted to leave. That's that" she said, a bitter smile

"are you...mad?" He asked, sitting next to her

"nope" her eyes glued to the tv

He sighed and turned it off, but her eyes never moved to him

"are you sad?"

"I don't get sad" she snapped, arms crossing over her chest

"did I hurt your feelings?" He tried again

"no Eddie. I don't give a shit okay? Drop it" she growled, walking to their bedroom and slamming the door.

She wasn't used to her chest hurting when she looked at him. She didn't know why it seemed to hurt so fucking bad. She thought he enjoyed their dynamic, that he liked how she was so different compared to his past relationships. But maybe they've been doing too long. And he didn't like it anymore.

~~

Eddie stared at the door. Heart pounding. He hasn't been in this position before. He has never seen her so stuck in her own head. Usually he's the one upset and she makes it better with soft touches and a gentle kiss. But he can't even touch her without her flinching away. He honestly didn't think there was anything in the world that could break her down. And he never thought he'd be the one thing.

He knocked worriedly on the door

"I'm getting scared. Please talk to me. I just don't know what to do" he pouted, refusing to stop knocking until she opened the damn door

"figure it out Eddie. Apparently you know what's best for you and can make your own decisions" he flinched at her harsh tone.

Eddie thought long and hard of a plan. Whenever she was mad at him, she'd punish him and they'd be fine. Maybe he needed to beg for a punishment. Help her get the anger out of her system

~~

Around dinner she came out. Cooking silently as she stared at the water boiling

"Eddie, can you grab the sauce from the cabinet?" She asked, her eyes not moving away from the pot

"your legs work" he smirked. Waiting patiently to see how she would react. His smirk fell the second she sighed, moving quietly to the cabinet and grabbing the sauce.

~~

"Eddie can you clean your dish please?" She asked, her eyes looking down at the dirty plate she was scrubbing

"make me" he snapped. Praying she'd turn around with the familiar fire in her eyes.

But just like earlier, she sighed to herself and grabbed his plate off the table, throwing it in the sink as she cleaned it, no words.

~~

"can..can you help me?" He asked shyly, looking up at her as he fixed the broken tile in their bathroom

"thought you could do shit without me" she snapped

Walking past him and back into the bedroom

Yep, he definitely fucked up

~~

Just like the night before he found his side of the bed untouched

He watched as she got undressed. Staring at her naked skin as she threw on her pajamas.

Maybe he just needed to ask?

"mommy, can...can we....have sex?" He squeaked out, nervously biting his lip as he watched her lay down. Stripping his own self down to his boxers

"you can take care of yourself remember" turning her back to him again as she closed her eyes.

He couldn't handle another night with her being so mad at him. He grabbed her shoulder and turned her on her back. Throwing himself on her lap. Trapping her arms under him as he trapped her underneath him

"I'm sorry okay? I don't like this. I don't know what you are thinking or feeling. I'm sorry for everything, for talking back, for staying with Jess" to be fair, he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for but he felt like Jess was the main reason

"that's not what I need an apology for" he hated how weak her voice sounded. It was always so strong and confident

"what do you need it for? I will gladly beg for forgiveness. Please let me make this better" he begged. He could feel his eyes getting wet as she looked up at him. That distant look in her eyes

"are you happy with me?" He swore he could hear insecurity in her voice

"of course I am" he said instantly, "why would you ask that?"

"you....you called me Y/N for the first time in like two years. You never call me that. I'm not stupid Eddie, I know that Jess said something to make you snap on me. And I just....I felt like it made you realize you didn't like how we were. That you missed being on top and in charge of everything.... that you don't care for me to be your mommy anymore.... I don't feel good enough anymore Eddie okay? You obviously don't need me anymore and my work of putting you together is done. Fixed you up perfectly for other girls apparently. Tell me you hate how we work and tell me sober that you don't need me anymore so I can move on. Now get off of me" she snapped once she felt her eyes getting wet.

She refused to cry over this. She was confident and independent. If Eddie didn't want her anymore that's fine. She'll be gone in a blink of an eye. She didn't need him....she simply just really fucking wanted him.

Eddie could feel his own heart breaking as her eyes filled with tears. How fast her hard exterior was falling apart. Her arms flying as she squirmed underneath him, trying desperately to shove his body off of her

"no don't move on please don't" he cried, not bothering to hide the fact he was bursting into tears over this

"I love you. I only love you. I was stupid and drunk. I don't like being that old Eddie anymore. I love worshipping you. I need you, and I will always fucking need you. I'm sorry for saying stupid shit I didn't mean. I don't like taking care of myself. I love how we work. I love the way you punish me and ruin me. Test my limits and make me beg. I love that you are my mommy and take the best care of me. I've never felt this much love from anyone ever. You fix me more every day, but I'm fixing myself for you. I don't want anyone else. I don't want to learn to love anyone else. Those girls....i mean fuck they aren't even close to being half of the women you are. They let me treat them like shit, but you have no problem putting me in my place. That's what I need. I love you and I can't let you go. Let me fix this please. Let me show you how much I love you mommy " he sobbed above her

Her arms going weak as she watched him cry and babble over her

"Eddie stop crying" she demanded. She couldn't handle his puppy eyes filling with tears when she's supposed to be pissed at him

"I'm sorry" he repeated over and over, lips kissing her neck as he desperately grinded his body against hers. Kissing the same spot over and over as he whispered apologies

"I'm your good boy and that's all I want to be" he admitted, forehead pressing against hers. Letting his tears fall off of his chin and on her chest

She smiled weakly, wiping his tears

"you promise?" She asked weakly

"I promise mommy" he said strongly. No hint of hesitation

"well mommy thinks you need to be reminded how good you have it" her lips curled in a growl

Eddie felt his cock grow harder as the familiar fire burned through her eyes. The sad and distant look gone as she gripped his jaw

"remind me who I belong to, please" he begged, grinding his hips harder against her

She smirked and flipped them over, leaning back on her legs as she sat up. His body laying underneath her

"who's slut are you?" She demanded, her hand moving down his chest and into his boxers

"yours mommy. I'm your slut" he whined. A big sigh of relief when she took his cock out of his boxers

He waited for the usual praise that left her mouth when she would see his cock when she first pulled it out. But she didn't say a word, gripping his cock in a tight grip. Smiling as Eddie's body squirmed

"ow fuck" he whined. Gripping the sheets as she gripped him even harder.

"shut up" she snapped, moving down his body

Spitting on his cock as she jerked his head

"mommy that's so good" he moaned

"I said shut up" she growled, removing her hand from his cock

"I'm sorry. Please" he begged, watching as she walked away

She rolled her eyes, digging through their sex box for his butt plug, her strap, and her biggest dildo

She walked back to the bed, throwing the toys next to his head. His brown eyes looking over at the toys. Then moving back to her as he heard clothing hit the floor

Her naked body sitting near the end of his body

"I mean it. Shut the fuck up and do not speak unless I ask you too" she said, slapping his cock harshly

He bit his lip as he moaned. Choking back his sounds

He nodded fast, eyes begging to be touched

She took the butt plug, staring into his eyes as she took the plug in her mouth, sucking on the toy

"you want this in your asshole baby?" She teased

"yes please mommy" he begged

She smirked as she shoved it in, not bothering to be gentle

He whimpered as he bit his hand. Loving the way his ass felt full from the plug.

"tell me, was Jess one of the girls you made beg for your pathetic cock?" She asked harshly

"yes mommy" he admitted

"you fucked her rough and hard?" Her mouth spitting on his cock again

"fuck...yes" he moaned when she began to jerk his head again

"did you make her scream and cry?"

"yes mommy" he whimpered

"I wonder what she would think if she saw you. A plug up your pathetic ass, tears in your eyes. " She mocked, her tongue licking up his cock. Sucking on just the tip

"I don't care what she thinks" he groaned. Hands itching to push on her head

"why's that?" She asked curiously, jerking his cock roughly as she stared down at him

"fuck...Jesus" he groaned. Words not making it out of his mouth as she roughly jerked him off

"I...I..oh God" he squirmed

"I'm not hearing any answers"

"because I don't care about her. Just you mommy" He stuttered out

"you cared about her enough to question yourself" she added, angry eyes staring into his wet ones. Jerking him off even harder. Her grip was so tight she could barely move fast

"I'm sorry" he whimpered, puppy eyes looking down as she destroyed his cock with no care in the world. God he loved watching her hand fuck him.

"you will be" she threatened. Her hand only focusing on jerking his tip, making sure he was sensitive from the start

"mommy I can't...you need...not the tip the whole time" he choked out, clenching his teeth as his tiny hips squirmed against the mattress

"excuse me? I don't listen to my brat's demands", for that jerking the tip even harder. Rubbing the skin as she ignored the rest of his length

His hand raced down his body, trying to stop her hand from moving

"you better take away that hand right now" she growled "mommy decides when she's done playing with your cock, be a good boy and fucking take it or I'll stop completely"

"no no! Just please" he babbled out, yanking his hand away fast

If she only focused on his sensitive tip he was seconds away from having to beg to cum.

"fuck my hand you whore"

He whimpered as he slowly moved his hips against her hand. Going at his own pace to slow down the orgasm that was so close to boiling over. Bucking his hips in the air as his cock slid easily in the grip of her hand

"fucking pathetic. I know you can go way faster than that" she ignored his cries, going back to jerking him the fastest she could

Eddie couldn't handle it. Hips squirmed against the bed so bad his whole body was cowering away from her. Hands searching for the headboard to grip, he had no control to what left his mouth at this point. Painfully whimpering as he felt his balls tightening

"you need TO STOP, SHIT" he warned

"don't you dare fucking cum. Sit still and take it" she growled. He was thrashing so hard her grip was getting loose as he flipped his body to its side, taking a sigh of relief when her grip was lost

But in seconds his hips were slammed down, trapped underneath her body. She yanked off the rest of his boxers. Throwing the item somewhere around the room

"you are really testing me today" , a slap down across his right cheek had his toes curling

A loud whimper left his lips

"you want mommy to continue?" Her voice was soft and gentle, a huge contrast to the slap across his face

"yes just please slow?" She looked down at his puppy eyes

Getting close to his face, practically breathing in his breath for oxygen

"you'll take it exactly how I give it" she yanked his mouth open

Spitting directly on his tongue

Without question he swallowed it. Humming as he tasted her spit down his throat

"you will not cum tonight, do you understand me?"

"mommy I can't hold it all night" he admitted. He's never been able to. The second he's either being fucked by her in his ass or if she's riding his cock, he always needs to burst and cry.

"I don't give a shit. You'll do it" she ignored his protests, her hand moving down to his butt plug, pushing it in and out. Her thighs still locking him in place. His asshole clenched around the plug. Sucking the toy back in.

One of his hands moved closer to her chest, preparing to grip her right boob when she smacked his hand

"don't fucking touch"

"MOMMY" he whined pathetically at that. He can't cum, he can't touch her, and he has to sit still. Three things Eddie was never good at

"yeah cry out. Make our neighbors hear how much of a brat you are" she mocked, yanking the plug fully out of his ass, throwing it to the side as she reached for the dildo

"I know how to shut you up. Suck mommy's cock for a little bit"

Once again yanking his mouth open, watching as he stuck out his tongue. She smiled and placed the dildos tip flat on his tongue. Watching as his lips closed around it. Sucking it softly as he moaned

"your bratty mouth loves being filled with cock doesn't it?"

He nodded the best he could. Moaning as she slipped the toy deeper in his mouth, watching as drool made its way down his chin. She leaned forward, licking up the mess he was creating.

She kept it at a steady pace. Thrusting the toy in and out of his mouth. Loving the pop of his lips when he released it. The gagging when she pushed just a tad bit too far. The choking when she held it, forcing him to deep throat it. He tried to put on the best show he could. Keeping her distracted enough to realize he technically wasn't being touched anywhere. Giving him more time to recover from his almost orgasm.

After she made him choke three more times, she yanked out the toy. A line of spit following behind.

She tossed the toy to the side, shoving her own tongue down his throat. Giving him no second to catch fresh air before his throat was filled with something else. He moaned instantly. Letting her devour his mouth anyway she wanted. His hands clenching the headboard hard, nails digging into the wood as he tried to keep his hands off of her.

She made the kiss loud and wet. Grinding her hips against his soft stomach. Eddie felt his stomach clenching, feeling her wetness soak his happy trail and belly button

"oh God" he moaned into her mouth as she began to hump his stomach faster

She pulled away and slapped his cheek again

Throwing her head back as her nails dug into his chest, rubbing herself against his stomach

She moaned his name over and over as her fingers tweaked his nipples. Pinching, pulling, and twisting. Loving the way his bottom half kicked and squirmed

She slowed down her hips as she grabbed her strap, smirking down at Eddie's puppy eyes

"put it on" she spat, throwing it on his chest as she got off of him. Looking down at his soaked line of curls leading down to his cock. She rubbed her wetness further in the small patch of hair, loving how it all matted together

"wait me?" He choked out

"yeah. I want to be fucked so you are going to fuck me, but I want a real cock" she growled

"my cock is better than this!" He defended, sitting up as he held the strap

"put it on" she demanded again, ignoring his argument

"if you want to be fucked then I'll fuck you" he snapped, grabbing her ankles as he moved her down the bed

Throwing the strap across the room as far as he could

Spitting on her cunt and rubbing it in

"you think you are good enough to fuck me?" She teased

"I know I'm good" he countered back, yanking her legs apart as he pushed himself inside of her

Moaning instantly as his cock was tightly held by her. He had to focus on her, he had something to prove

"mommy you are so wet" he whined, laying his body down on hers. Holding himself lightly by his arms next to her head. Snapping his hips fast against hers. Immediately feeling her get tight around him. The moments he actually got to fuck her always made his body shake

"fuck I can feel how hard you are" she whined, her hands thrown around his neck as she moved her hips up to match him

He was desperately pounding into her. Sounds of their skin smacking bounced off their bedroom walls. Moans and whines, from both, filled the space between their bodies.

One thing she knew Eddie hated was when she didn't praise him when he was in her

She refused to let him have this

Clamping her mouth shut as he fucked her. She couldn't deny it, this was the best he's ever fucked her. His hips were smacking into hers so hard. His hip bones practically stabbed her. His patch of dark brown pubes were brushing against her clit and it was driving her insane. The feeling of his balls smacking her ass had her hands yanking his hair.

"come on, I know you want to moan for me" he growled, he used his left hand to hold himself up, his right hand cupping her jaw, forcing her to look at him

Staring into her eyes as he slowed down his hips. Pounding harshly one thrust at a time. He could feel her tits jolting with each thrust but he refused to break the eye contact. He made sure to give each thrust all he had. Making them as hard as he could. Making sure to go as deep as he could. Smirking as her eyes began to roll into the back of her head. Her jaw opening as she let out soundless moans

"come on mommy. Moan for me" he tried again, drilling her harder into the mattress

When she refused to make a sound, he grew more frustrated, sticking two fingers into his mouth then rubbing her clit.

"fuck" she said quietly

It was quiet but he'd take it. Rubbing her clit faster, going back to fast and rough thrusts. Refusing to stop. Clenching his eyes, making sure this didn't backfire on him. He couldn't cum either.

"mommy, come on" he grunted, sinking his teeth in her neck

She held clumps of his hair as she panted beneath him

"mommy please. Say something" he whined, smashing his forehead against hers. "tell me I'm doing good. Please mommy. I'm doing good right?"

She could hear the insecurity laced in his voice. The pleading behind his whines. His eyes were full of determination, his cock was hitting spots she never knew she had. She could practically feel him in her stomach. At the end of the day the man she was hopelessly in love with was begging for some type of reassurance that she was feeling good, and that broke her down.

"I'm close baby. You are doing so good. So fucking good. Mommy is so close to cumming. You going to make me cum?" Her heart beamed as his face lit up

"yeah I'm gonna make mamma cum" he moaned

Smiling as he kissed her lips. Rubbing her clit as fast as he could

"That's it. My fucking good boy" she moaned, her hand moving to his back, holding his ass as she shivered underneath him.

"cum mommy. Cum for your good boy"

"EDDIE GOD" she screamed, panting as her orgasm washed over her. Soaking his cock in her cum as she clawed at his ass

Eyes closed as she threw her head back

Missing the way Eddie smiled down at her, a proud look in his eyes. Watching every detail of her face as she came. The way her eyes shut, her neck thrown back, her nails scratching his ass, her tits being shoved against his chest. The way her mouth opened and small pants of air came through.

He slowly fucked her through it, slipping out of her slowly, hissing as he was still rock hard

"and you didn't even cum. I'm so fucking proud of you" she praised, leaning up to kiss him hard

He whined into her lips. Elbows on either side of her head as he kissed her deeper. One hand still on his ass, the other one cupping his jaw as she leaned up, easily slipping her tongue and moving it against his. He could feel precum leaking, panting as he pulled away.

"I'll never love anyone as much as I love you" he whispered, kissing her nose softly

"dammit. Don't be so cute" she teased, shoving his shoulder

"tell me you love me" he begged, his puppy eyes back in work

"I love you baby" she said, tugging him down against her chest. Rubbing his back as he sighed into her

"did you mean it about no cumming tonight?" He asked nervously

"sure did brat" she teased, smacking his ass as her other hand played with his hair

"mommy" he whined desperately

"not happening" she laughed, tickling his soft skin

"go to sleep and maybe I'll help you out tomorrow" she proposed

He nodded into her chest, trying to ignore that his throbbing cock was inches away from her cunt. A cunt that was still dripping on him.

Digging his face into her neck. Pecking the skin softly

"I'm sorry again for making you feel not good enough"

"it's okay bud. We're okay now" she smiled, kissing his sweaty head

His hand searching for the one in his hair, lacing it with his as he pressed their hands into his face, kissing her hand repeatedly

Sometimes she needed reassurance more than him. And he would never pass up the chance to remind her he was in love with her.

~~

Tags!

@simping-over-boys-with-trauma @capricornrisingsstuff @somnialol @buginnettesstuff @thegemaqua @skyline4446 @bunnyweasley23

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming

@eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy

[sunnydayroleplay]

Say Jean and Joseph is fighting to the death for MC's love. Who would win the fight, Jean or Joseph?

I saw this and I fucking flipped. I blew over. I am in love. I know it's not that big of a deal but HOLY SHIT. TWO ONCE FRIENDS NOW ONE SIDED RIVALS FIGHTING TO THE DEATH OVER THEIR WELL RESPECTED SUNSHINE. OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDD! I know this isn't a fanfic, but everyone lmk if you want it to be one~ We're writing this. Now. Contents Inside: Mentions of Murder/Blood, no gore really I don't go into detail like last time, Heavy emotions, You witnessing god awful action, and so on.

(If you're sensitive to any of these topics, please click off and go check out some other stuff on my blog!)

______________________________________________________________

Before we start off anything, let me put down the ground rules for this duel to ones demise.

No weapons. Only pure fists and emotion. So Jean cannot kill Joseph with his Colt Python, or Beretta 92S. Yeah, that's right you big tit bitch, freckled face mother fucker. Don't kill him again.

Now, with that one rule settled. Let's get down and dirty.

It's a night, unlike any others. The wind blew just a little harder, the temperature dropped just slightly lower. The moonlight's beautiful glare dimmed for what was about to come.

You sat there, your legs crossed as if you were back in your primary school days, sitting on that colorful carpet on the floor.

You were scared, nervous, you didn't want this to happen, and no matter what you did or said, nothing helped the issue.

(Unless you're into being fought over for, otherwise, have fun getting your rocks off to this shit~)

The boys were face to face, though they didn't say anything, their expressions said it all.

Joseph has the muscle. He's the heavy ammunition in the camp. He has that build, that could overtake anyone "below him" in a fight. He's the man standing behind the other sitting down tapping his fingers mischievously, ready to kill at the snap of a finger.

That being said, I believe Joseph would win the fight for 2 reasons.

Reason 1:

From all the head-cannons, and theories about Jean, we can definitely tell he has firey and passionate hate for Joseph. He hates him.

Not even, he loathes him.

I mean, his jealousy only grew to the point he supposedly killed him. Him murdering Joseph, shooting him cold and hard in the head was all personal.

And due to what he physically looks like, Jean knows he wouldn't beat Joseph in a fight, which brings me to reason 2.

Reason 2:

Jean is the cunning one. He's intelligent, and he knows it. Possibly a narcissist, but we won't know until confirmed. He's clever, he's the man in the camp planning attack and escape routes, planning both A and B at the same time.

There's no doubt about it that Jean would've loved to stab Joseph personally over and over and over close range. But he knew it would be risky, and so he didn't.

Not to mention, of course he would be the one killed instead if it came to it.

That's why he shot him once where he knew that Joseph would be out like that. And he wouldn't get caught.

Now if this were under normal circumstances, I personally think that Joseph wouldn't kill Jean.

Despite his troubles now and in his past, and his physical appearance, he wouldn't work with kids for nothing!

He's just a man trying to better himself. Trying to forget and start over.

He's just a man trying to help others, help young children who are at risk to turn out how he did growing up and have them learn from his mistakes to turn out to be the person he wanted to be in the end.

Joseph truly has changed since the person he was before, and I could go on and on about the topic, but that's for another blog.

Though Joseph has the ability to kill Jean whenever he wants and no fuss, he wouldn't.

Why would he kill the person he loves working with?

Why would he kill the man who has given him such good advice when he was nervous or unsure about something?

He couldn't imagine it.

But he's living it. Right now.

He didn't mind it that Jean had a thing for his sunshine, I mean, you weren't dating anyone after-all. But he was jealous.

Joseph felt how Jean always felt about him for once.

Now details right now seem boring, so I'll do some brief mentions.

Jean struck first.

He knew he wouldn't be able to get any punches in as soon as the fight started, so he might as well get one.

Joseph struck him right in his nose.

He struck him so hard that a mysterious liquid began to come out.

And like that, their fight began.

Hard tumbles, teeth being knocked out, throw downs, punches in the guy.

Quite some time passes. Joseph is looking down upon Jean, just like how Jean always thought he did.

Joseph was the main role in the show they acted in.

He was always the person people talked about.

He was always the person in the interviews.

He was always the person people looked up too.

He was always number one, and Jean was always second.

Jean was second and he hated it.

And he would only die second too.

As Jean lay down on the cold hard ground, he looked up at you.

With all his energy, he let out one last smile, and his final words.

"I....w..ill..always be..h-here..for you, ..my..lo..-"

And just like that his limbs go numb and his voice trails off.

You kneel down, tears in your eyes, and close his eyes for him.

Joseph kneels down beside you, also in an emotional state.

"I-I..I didn't want..Jean..please."

You comfort Joseph, letting him know that " you had no choice".

At least he won your heart.

But was it worth it?

[imaginesbymonika]

Confessional Cam

Chapter 1

Pairing: Chris Pontius x fem!Reader

Plot: Y/N and Chris have been hooking up with each other for months now. And the young woman was convinced that they both weren't catching feelings until a confession caught on tape changes everything.

Warnings: Swearing, angsty, perhaps a bit a humor and slight naughty talk at the end

A/N: I don’t know a reason why I shouldn’t upload a chapter when it’s already written :)

masterlist | previous chapter

Song to listen to while reading:

"What's going on with you?"

Chris who stands under the shower flinches as the curtain get's pulled to the side. Without asking Steveo gets into the shower as well. For a moment the two men merely stare at each other. "What do you mean?"

"You were acting really weird this morning."

Y/N chuckles dryly and simply shuts her eyes again. She lays on a canvas chair on the balcony of her hotel room. Meanwhile Stephanie is standing in the doorframe and watches her closely.

"I just got up with the wrong food this morning, nothing wrong with that. Happens to the best of us."

"I heard you crying in the bathroom earlier."

"No you didn't.", Chris utters, visibly offended as the water slowly runs down his face. But Steveo furrows his eyebrows, he doesn't believe him and Chris can see that: "I definitely heard someone weeping in here before."

Y/N simply chuckles and puts her sunglasses back on: "Steph, babe, it honestly isn't something you should have to worry about. Come on, lay down on the other chair for a bit. Let's tan.”

But her friend doesn't move a single muscle. "Then what's up with the tape you asked Johnny to delete for you?"

Chris immediately looks away as if he is trying his best to prevent further eye contact with Steveo. "So I was right, something is going on... Spill it, Party Boy. What's wrong?"

"Don't you guys think that it's like super weird, that both Y/N and Chris want their tapes deleted from like the same night?", Bam asks as he follows Ryan and Johnny up a hill towards a cliff. The hot sun is shining heavy on the three friends: "I'm just saying, I think it’s like really weird."

"You think, that their tapes are somehow connected?", Ryan asks as he walks slower, so his friend can catch up. Bam shrugs:"I don't know, could be." "Well, you two detectives, there is no point in losing sleep over it.", Johnny explains as the three men reach the highest point: "In a week and a half, we will see those tapes one way or another."

Bam and Ryan exchange one quick knowing look.

"Are you lying to me, I feel like you're lying to me.", Steveo declares as his eyes scan his friends face for any indication that he is in fact lying to him. But when he cannot find anything he takes a deep breath and his jaw drops.

"Holy shit."

Y/N runs a hand down her face: "I know, I'm completely fucked. I was virtually on my knees in front of Johnny out on that stupid patio- I was practically begging on my fucking knees for him to delete it." She runs a hand down her face before she pulls her knees closer to her chest:”But he won’t do it.”

A silence falls upon the two girls and when Stephanie notices how tears are threatening to run down Y/N's face she softly sighs and walks over to her. She gently places a hand on her back: "It's going to be okay."

"No, it's not. I am going to lose my best friend over this."

Chris watched her closely, sometimes he did it as if he didn't care about whether or not people found out about them. Y/N who held hands with Stephanie was dancing and laughing in the dim lights of the hotel bar. There was something about the way she simply existed out in the open that pulled him in. He knew in a few seconds, he would have to turn his head away and stare at Johnny or Bam and he would have to force a conversation with them. While all he really wished to do was to watch her.

Her soft skin felt warm under his touch. And he was angry with himself that he didn’t know enough words to define her beauty in its entirety. While at the same time, he wondered why he got so mad in the first place when he knew he didn’t actually understand it. Chris feared that he is going to spend his whole life running after that kind of knowledge. That he is going to search for it everywhere whenever she wasn’t around.

When she was on top of him, and he was holding on to her hips for dear life he tasted a piece of heaven. She ate him up only to spit him out again a few moments later and god, he loved nothing more.

[fanficimagery]

Lost and then Found pt. II

Imagine being taken by HYDRA. After years with them, they set you loose on someone you haven't seen in a while. Unfortunately for HYDRA, you weren't as susceptible to their mind experiments like they thought. Now away from their influence, your only worry is making sure you're prepared for your baby to enter the world.

Words: 11.3K Author’s Note: I won't say I don't like this because there are some parts in here that I absolutely adore. However, it is rushed and it feels forced to me, but I needed to get this out so here it is. Also, I've never experienced childbirth so please ignore my mediocre take on it. Haha.

Tags: @aya-fay​ @70s-chic​ @sipsteacasually​ @kaitlyn2907​ @scarlettwitch99 @thingsforimagination​ @b1sexualtonystark​ @living-that-best-life​ @alexnicolaidisss​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @eliwinchester99​ @mimilh @rosesloml​  @blackxwidowsxwife  @meredeph @lexy9716​ @wxnderingthoughts​

The Avengers have grown accustomed to having a werewolf living among them and sitting in on mission briefings, but they put their foot down when you attempt to join them for missions. You want to desperately prove yourself to the group of assembled heroes, but you also very much want to protect the life growing inside your womb. So agreeing to stay home while pregnant, they eventually task you with setting up your own apartment the first time they all had to leave you behind.

Of course you weren't totally alone and Pepper had flown in to help you set up, her excitement for your pregnancy spurring on your own excitement even more.

You get settled quite easily and it shows how much trust you have in them when the full moons don't affect you like they normally would. Now others could come and go during the full moon, and you barely batted an eye at them. Unless it was Tony. Tony needed to be watched at all times after he attempted to rile you up purposely on the night of a full moon to see exactly how much control you had.

The slight swell to your abdomen eventually sets in and you couldn't be more proud of the roundness that was obvious when you wore a tight shirt. Wanda, too, was absolutely smitten with the small bump and the whole team was relieved to see her genuinely happy after everything she'd recently gone through. But Wanda wasn't the only one who doted on you- oh no. For some reason, the sight of your bump made the two super soldiers absolutely melt when your shirt was fitted and the bump was on display. Everyone knew it was inevitable for Steve to turn to mush, but it was Bucky who surprised everyone.

Bucky always made sure to sit close to you, snacks on hand and ready to make a run to the store when your cravings got the best of you. You'd even caught him reading a pregnancy book, but he looked so embarrassed when you caught him that you couldn't bring yourself to mention it to anyone else. And for that he was grateful- always letting you crawl into his lap when you had the urge to scent mark everyone.

Your cuddle sessions became more frequent, which made Wanda pout and Sam and Steve rather smug for some unknown reason to you.

It's cooler than normal around the living quarters given the rising summer temperatures and, though you normally run hot, your own body temperature has been up and down since you've become pregnant. So on this particular day you find yourself cuddled up to Steve, your left arm thrown over his waist and left leg draped over his legs. Your bump is resting near his hip and he smiles down at you every time you grumble about needing to pee.

"This baby is going to be the death of me," you mumble. "All I wanna do is cuddle, but no. I have to pee. Again!"

Leaving the comfort of the new couch that had been ordered for your specific cuddling tendencies- it could honestly pass for a bed with how spacious it is- you get up and take care of business in the bathroom. And then when you get back to the living room, you find that Bucky's taking up the other side of the sofa Steve is on.

"Yessss." You nearly skip back towards the sofa, crawling in between both men. "Supersoldier sandwich."

Steve snorts and then yelps when you manhandle him into scooting down until he's laying down again, then wrapping yourself around him like you had previously been. All the while Bucky is laughing at his friend's misfortune, but then you reach behind you and drag Bucky closer until you whine at him to spoon you. You smell rather than see his embarrassment, especially when Steve teases him to just spoon you already, and then you practically purr when you're enveloped in their warmth.

As Bucky settles behind you, you end up grabbing his metal arm and dragging it over your waist. He tenses, but you run your fingers up and down the back of his hand until he gets that you're okay with him- metal arm and all.

Stuck between two solid bodies, enveloped in their warmth and scent, is enough to send you off into a content light doze.

And then you're jolted back into consciousness when you feel Bucky freeze behind you. "What was that?"

"What was what?" You sleepily mumble.

"Your stomach. Are you- was that your stomach grumbling?"

This time it's your turn to freeze as you place your hand over his that's still crawling your bump. "You actually felt that?"

"Yeah." He chuckles.

"Holy shit," you muse. "It's way too early for anyone other than me to feel the baby. How the hell-"

"Wait, what?" Steve says, a whine lacing his tone. "Bucky got to feel the baby?"

You laugh as you move to turn so you're laying on your back, and both Steve and Bucky try to maneuver their hands around your small bump in order to feel the fluttering sensation. "This is insane. I can't believe you guys can feel it."

"I don't feel anything." Steve frowns.

"Don't pout, punk." Bucky smirks. "I can only feel it because of the arm."

Grinning, you reach up and lightly pat Steve's cheek. "Don't worry, Rogers. When the kicks start coming in, I'll go find you first."

The two men are distracted when the elevator dings open and Wanda steps off, the scent of food wafting from the bags she's carrying. Your nostrils flare and your mouth waters, and you start to pull free from Steve and Bucky.

Wanda smirks. "Hungry?"

"Always." Now free of the men, you hurry towards the kitchen where Wanda is laughing and pulling out containers. "Is that," you inhale deeply, eyes closing in bliss, "medium-rare steak, baked potato with the works, and.. and fries?"

"I even got that sauce from Arby's you like so you can dip your fries in it."

"Oh my god, you're my favorite."

"Hey!" Steve and Bucky shout from the living room. Wanda preens.

A couple more months pass and you're in awe of what your body is doing.

You're absolutely in love with your growing bump which now looks like there's a volleyball under your shirt, but for some reason you're unreasonably uncomfortable. You've been meaning to go shopping for maternity clothes, however, everything you've found online is not to your taste. You just want a simple loose shirt, but all maternity clothes seem to either have a floral theme to it or ruffles that you're not a fan of.

So stuck in one of your usual t-shirts that feels like it's stretched too tight and showing off the bottom portion of your bump, you walk around your apartment grumbling and shifting uneasily and trying to find a way to make yourself feel comfortable.

You're pacing around the room, hands rubbing along your swollen abdomen when there's a knock on your door. Agitated, a growl slips free. You stomp towards your door, another growl threatening to slip free, when you're stopped short at the sight of Bucky.

His eyebrow quirks at you and you sigh, trying to shake off your agitation. "Why are your eyes glowing, sweetheart?"

"I'm annoyed. I can't help it."

You swing the door open wider, but Bucky remains rooted to his spot. "Why are you annoyed?"

And just like that, the tears well up and start dropping one after the other. "I am so uncomfortable!" You cry. Bucky's eyes widen before he steps forward, arms loosely wrapping around you. "I just- I want to be comfortable. None of my shirts are fitting me and I- I just- I need-"

"Okay. Okay, shh." Bucky gently rocks you side to side. "Come on. Come with me."

Miserable, you agree and follow after Bucky to his own apartment that's just a few doors down the hallway. You're not sure what's going on when he tells you to wait in his living room and then disappears into what you can only guess is his room, and your brow furrows when he returns with a shirt in hand.

Sheepish, Bucky rubs the back of his neck with one hand while holding the shirt out with the other. "Here. You can use one of mine until you find something more comfortable."

You glance between him and the shirt, reaching for it as a smile starts to take form. And when you have the shirt in your hands, you readily strip out of your own shirt and huff a laugh when Bucky blushes and averts his gaze. Pulling on his shirt then, you groan with satisfaction as the material hugs you just right. "Oh heck yes." And then picking up the collar of the shirt, you can't help but deeply inhale the material and groan yet again. "This is exactly what I needed."

Bucky slowly smirks. "Good. Now let's go grab something to eat." He can't help but laugh as you latch yourself onto his arm, mumbling about him leading the way as your eyes close in pure bliss.

Your senses tell you Bucky's just leading you towards the communal kitchen, your nose twitching at the smell of food coming from it's direction. There are a few voices too and it's easy to pick out Wanda, Steve, and Sam.

Upon opening your eyes, you're met with amused and/or surprised expressions. "What?"

"Do my eyes deceive me or am I sensing a walk of shame?" Sam slowly smirks.

You and Bucky both frown as Steve and Wanda laugh at their friend's assumption. "Huh?"

"You're in Barnes' shirt," he says. "You cannot stand there and tell me you two ain't foolin' around."

It takes you a second to realize what he's saying, your mind connecting the dots when you feel Bucky tense next to your side. The slight embarrassment wafting off of him nearly makes you whine, but you swallow down the urge. Instead, you roll your eyes and say, "First off, if I was getting dicked down by this beefcake, there would be no walk of shame. I would happily tell you about length, girth, and every goddamn ridge on this man's dick." Wanda cackles as Sam's eyes bulge in shock, Steve then choking on his orange juice. "And secondly, I'm fat, Wilson!" You let go of Bucky, turning to the side and grabbing the sides of Bucky's shirt to pull tight over your swollen tummy. "None of my shirts fit comfortably anymore and Bucky was just helping a girl out." His mouth drops slightly as if he hadn't thought of that and you shake your head at him. Letting go of the shirt, you walk forward to sit at the kitchen island. "Do you seriously think anyone wants to get it on with a pregnant chick? Use your head, Samuel."

As you settle down, Bucky takes a seat next to you and you automatically lean into his side with your head on his shoulder. Wanda and Steve both smile, but neither of them say a word. Sam, however, just can't let this go. "So let me get this straight- you two are not boning in secret?"

"No," you say, fighting off a smile. "We're just friends. Which means you just lost the bet too because my bump is fully set in and there has been no sex." Sam, Wanda, and Steve slowly lose their amused expressions and this time it's your and Bucky's turn to be smug. "What? Didn't think we knew about that, did 'ya?"

"Y/N, I am so sorry," Wanda says, but you wave her off. "I didn't think-"

"It's fine, Wanda. We thought it was funny."

Bucky remains quiet, but his little grin lets Wanda know he was fine with the supposedly secret bet as well. Her shoulders seem to sag in relief and you readily accept the plate of bacon Sam nudges in your direction.

"So," Wanda muses, "you need to go shopping? I'm free today and tomorrow."

You grimace. "I guess so. As much as I want to, I can't steal the guys' shirts for the next few months."

"Good. We'll head out after you get something to eat."

Leaving the medical facility, you aimlessly walk back towards the family compound with several black and white photos in hand. You had known there was a baby growing inside of you, but it's just now truly sunk in after seeing your baby's profile instead of a blob with still-forming limbs. A slip of paper with your baby's gender is tucked into your back pocket, Doctor Cho having given it to you in case you wanted to know.

You're not exactly looking for the quiet of your apartment, so you remain in the communal living spaces in hopes of someone distracting you. Only when you get there, all is quiet.

Turning on the large screen flat TV, you put it on a random cooking show after crawling onto your sofa and getting comfortable. You've only managed to watch one entire episode, your interest captivated by the meals the chefs are putting together with only a few certain items from their basket, when the elevator dings.

You don't bother looking back, Bucky's scent wafting over to you before he even steps into your peripheral. "Hey doll, want some company?"

"Please," you groan.

Bucky toes off his boots and sits on the edge of the sofa, scooting back towards the middle until he's shoulder to shoulder with you. You sigh and lean against him, laying your head on his shoulder while your arms remain on your lap. "What's wrong?" Bucky immediately says.

"Nothing. Why?"

"Because you're not cuddling me."

The tone of Bucky's voice makes you freeze, amusement blossoming. Slowly you lift your head and attempt to meet his gaze. "Are you- are you pouting because I'm not cuddling you?"

"No."

You huff a laugh, letting your forehead fall on his shoulder once more. After a moment, you lift his arm and settle underneath it as you cuddle him. Bucky chuckles and squeezes you just a little tighter against him. "Is this better?"

"A little. Now tell me what's bothering you."

You quietly groan, shifting under his arm until you reach to your other side and pick up one of the sonograms. "I had an appointment today," you say while handing him the picture. "It's just- I guess it's just sinking in that there's an actual living being growing inside of me."

"You mean all the kicking these past two months didn't give it away?" Bucky huffs in amusement. "Wow. Would you look at that?" He says. "The little nugget is really growing. Huh?" Your hormones get the best of you and you end up sniffling, tears filling your eyes. Bucky freezes. "Doll? Are you- are you crying?"

"How the hell am I going to do this, Buck? I'm a foul-mouthed werewolf who just recently escaped the clutches of HYDRA. What business do I have raising a baby?"

"Hey. Hey, look at me." Bucky gently nudges you so you'd glance up at him. With his flesh arm still tucked around you, his metal hand gently holds your sonogram between two fingers as he makes you look at it. "You're going to do just fine. You wanna know how I know that?" You sniffle and wipe the tears from beneath your eyes. "Because you have all of us- you have me- in your corner. This little nugget of yours will never want for anything as long as we're around."

His words only make the tears fall even more and you hide your face in his shoulder once more. He holds you tighter, shushing you and murmuring words about how you're going to be a good mother. If you could overlook everything HYDRA did to you in order for you to conceive this child and then go on to keep the child, then there was no doubt in his mind you were going to be a great mom.

As you sit there against Bucky and work on getting yourself under control, you can't help but notice that he turns the sonogram back towards himself to stare at it. You shift your head just right so you can see his face and it warms your heart to see him smiling at the profile of your baby.

The elevator dings again, this time dropping off Wanda. When she walks around the sofa and takes in your puffy, red-rimmed eyes, she freezes. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"She had a bout of insecurity." Bucky tattles on you. "It's fine now."

Wanda blinks at Bucky in surprise before looking back at you and you offer her a small smile. "New sonogram pictures. It's.. just sinking in that this is really happening."

Wanda glances at the small piles of pictures next to you, squeals, and then hurriedly picks one up. You chuckle as she coos. "Has Doctor Cho mentioned whether it's a girl or boy yet?"

You nod. "I, uh, I have the slip of paper that tells me. I haven't looked at it yet."

"Well what are you waiting for?" Wanda immediately takes a seat and you slightly lean to the side in order to pull the folded piece of paper out of your pocket. You hold it out to her and her eyes subtly widen. "You don't want to do it?"

"I do, but.." You trail off, shrugging. "It doesn't really matter to me. As long as I have a healthy baby I'm fine. You seem more excited for this than me anyway."

She slowly smiles, only taking the slip of paper when Bucky shrugs. He seems confused for a split second that Wanda would even seek his opinion, but then his expression is neutral once more and that's all the approval Wanda needs. She takes the slip of paper, opening it to peek at the gender. She gives nothing away. "Last chance. Are you sure you want to know?"

"Lay it on us, Maximoff."

Wanda glances at the piece of paper once more before looking straight at you, a smile blossoming from ear to ear. "It's a girl."

Your breath hitches. "Yeah?" Your voice then cracks and tears immediately well in your eyes again.

Bucky squeezes you tighter to his side, chuckling, and Wanda's own eyes fill with tears as she nods. "You're having a little girl." A sob breaks free, even as you laugh, and the tears flow faster. Wanda crawls towards you and pulls you into a hug, crying softly as she rejoices with you. "If Pietro were here, he'd spoil that little girl rotten."

"Right?" You wetly laugh, pulling back and settling against Bucky once more. "I can already hear him. A little prinţesǎ," you coo, putting on an accent that was nowhere near what Wanda or Pietro sounded like. Both Wanda and Bucky laugh at your horrible accent, and your smile slowly falls as you fondly remember Wanda's twin. "I really wish he was here to meet her."

Her smile drops too, nodding in understanding. "Me too."

Wanda moves to replace the sonogram picture, but you shake her head and push her hand back. "No. That's yours."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You too, Bucky." You then glance at him, gesturing to the sonogram he still held. "I got copies for Steve, Natasha, and Sam as well. Even Doctor Cho happily kept one," you say.

"Thanks, doll." A kiss gets pressed to the side of your head and you can feel a rumble of content threatening to come out, but when you catch Wanda's gaze- her eyebrows wiggling causes you to frown and stomp down on the urge. "This is going up on my fridge."

Wanda smirks at you as you flush. "Yeah, well you're welcome."

Your friend can't stop smirking, but she's kind enough to not call you out on it in front of Bucky. "So baby shower?"

Now you groan. "Do we have to?"

And without missing a beat, Bucky and Wanda say, "Yes."

When word got around that Wanda was to plan your baby shower, you were surprised at how excited it seemed to make everyone. Apparently no one was immune to the impending arrival of your daughter, Clint having flown in to toss around some ideas and secure an invite for he and his family. Then when Tony and Pepper got involved, you had to make them promise that the shower was to not be over the top. But according to Tony, only the best was allowed for the next baby Avenger.

No one would tell you a thing about the baby shower, not even Bucky who you found yourself hanging out with more and more as the weeks went by. The surprise of finding you curled up in his lap was long gone and now when anyone was looking for either of you, it seemed they went to the other for your whereabouts. So a couple days before the shower, you thought you had won Bucky over and that he was moments away from telling you what you wanted to know about said shower, but Sam and Steve had given him one look and then quickly marched him out of the kitchen to keep him from spilling the beans. Afterwards, he stayed pretty tight-lipped, up until the day of said baby shower when Natasha, Wanda, and Pepper had you contained in your apartment while the boys took care of everything else in the communal living space.

As Natasha had you sit in front of your bathroom mirror, she did your hair and makeup for the party. So as you sat through her torture, you couldn't help but take a selfie with your fangs on display as you snarled at her smirking reflection in the mirror. Bucky had laughed at your picture and the only clue he gave to you about your baby shower was a picture of a sunflower.

Pepper and Natasha had several dresses for you to try on for the shower, but the outfit that won you over had been chosen by Wanda. It was an off-the-shoulder white short playsuit with lace detailing around your clavicle and thighs. You vetoed every heeled shoe until a pair of sandals were dropped in front of you and you let Wanda help you into them.

Once you were fully dressed, Natasha came to stand before you with her hands behind her back. When you narrowed your eyes at her, she smirked and produced a floral crown from behind her back. The flowers were fake, but the small versions of sunflowers and daisies were still pretty. So you bent your knees a little and let Natasha settle the crown atop your wavy hair, fixing your hair once more around your shoulders.

Then arm in arm with Wanda, you let your friends lead you out of your apartment and into the elevator. Your excitement was very obvious and the women couldn't help but chuckle as the elevator doors opened. Your excitement turned into awe at the sight of all the pink and white balloons, and the pink and purple floral garlands hanging from the corners of the room and around each table. There was a table for gifts and a table for finger foods, and of course there was no missing the three tiered pink and white cake. Everything was chic and girly and you absolutely loved it.

Tony, Bruce, and Helen Cho are huddled together, no doubt deep in a conversation about science. Clint and his wife Laura are there, along with their three kids milling about with another young girl who you remember is Tony and Pepper's daughter. And then there is Steve, Sam, and Bucky who each have a drink in hand and are chuckling quietly amongst each other.

"You know from all the stories I've heard, baby showers were meant for women only." At the sound of your voice, conversations taper off and smiles are directed towards you.

"Are you kidding?" Tony huffs. "I know all about the games played at these shindigs. I wanted in on the games and prizes."

"Of course you did." You then direct a smile at everyone gathered. "Thank you all for coming. This pregnancy wasn't exactly.. you know," you trail off, eyes lingering on the gathered kids who are surprisingly paying attention to your stomach, you say, "but I've grown to love this tiny human so much already before I've even met her and I'm just happy she's going to have such a great little community surrounding her."

"Aw look. You made Wanda cry."

You immediately glance to your right where Wanda's laughing, wiping beneath her eyes. "Shut up, Barton." And then, "So what are we doing first? I've never actually been to one of these."

"Games!" Laura and Pepper muse together.

Everyone chuckles at their enthusiasm and you let Wanda lead you to a seat. Pepper sits with Tony and Natasha finds herself being drawn to Clint and Laura, but she doesn't take a seat quite yet. You, however, are led to a sofa chair that Wanda takes a seat on one side of and Bucky the other.

"So the first game is a word unscramble," Natasha says. She walks over to a table and picks up numerous clipboards, along with a cup of pens. "There's a three-minute time limit and the one who unscrambles the most words wins."

Tony claps his hands together, rubbing them in anticipation. "This is so my game."

Natasha passes out the clipboards and pens, and you're happy to realize that this is a game you can play with them. Lila is the only child interested in playing, so Cooper keeps Nathaniel and Morgan busy with a gaming console just on the other side of the room.

Once everyone has a clipboard and a pen in hand, Natasha takes a seat with her own set. "Everyone ready?" At their agreement, she says, "FRIDAY, please set a countdown of three minutes."

"Timer is set, agent Romanoff." A timer is suddenly displayed on the wall across from them.

"Start it now."

The moment the first second ticks away, everyone rushes to pay attention to their piece of paper on the clipboard. You hurriedly scan the words, unscrambling the most obvious words- bottle, crib, bib, booties, blanket, nightlight, and car seat. The others give you trouble and as your eyes dart to the timer, your anxiousness kicks in to unscramble a few more.

Tony is grumbling about impossible words as Laura and Pepper laugh at his misfortune. Wanda is humming, happily it seems, whereas Bruce has just plain given up. Stroller and pacifier give you trouble, and your grumbling starts then. But when you get umbilical cord and morning sickness, it causes you to unknowingly dance in your seat.

Hearing a chuckle next to you, you glance at Bucky and see him peering at your clipboard. You gasp. "You dirty little cheater!"

Steve and Wanda both snort, and you angle yourself away so Bucky can't steal any more of your answers.

You think you've got a good lead, but just as the timer hits thirty seconds Laura calls out, "Done!"

"WHAT?!" Tony shouts.

As the unofficial person in charge of the games, Natasha takes Laura's clipboard to double check her answers. Sure enough, they're all correct. Steve, Sam, and even Clint boo Laura as Natasha grabs a small wicker basket that contains several envelopes inside.

Taking an envelope, Laura opens it and her eyes nearly bulge out of her sockets. "Wow. Every baby shower I've been to had gifts consisting of candles or Bath and Body gift baskets or even kitchenware. This- this is a lot."

"What'd you get, babe?" Clint asks.

"A check for twenty five hundred dollars."

"What?!" Sam yelps.

"Is that a normal prize for a game?" You wonder.

"No. No it's not," Sam says. "Come on. Bring on the next game. I need to know what those other prizes are."

You laugh as everyone suddenly becomes a bit more invested in winning one of the games. But as your laugh tapers off, you glance at Pepper and Tony. Pepper merely smiles when she sees your slight concern. "Don't worry about it. You didn't want an extravagant party, so Tony got a few prizes that were just a little bit more expensive than your average baby shower prize. Trust me, these were the least expensive prizes I could talk him down to."

"Well as long as you're sure.."

You shift uneasily in your seat and then Natasha's walking into the center of the room with a roll of toilet paper in her hand. "Come on, Mother-to-Be. We need to measure your bump and then let these idiots figure out how many squares you are. Whoever guesses the exact number, or closest to, wins."

Natasha helps you stand and you can't help but grumble, "None of you assholes better think I'm huge."

Lila giggles and you send an apologetic look to both Laura and Clint.

Hidden behind the kitchen island, Natasha has you stand still so she can wrap the toilet paper around you. You laugh as you hold the beginning of the first square on your stomach and Natasha reaches around you, unrolling the paper. It's an exact eleven squares.

Taking note of how many squares your bump is, you and Natasha rejoin the group.

"Alright. Give us a twirl. I need to see the bump all the way around," Tony says. Then looking at Wanda, he narrows his eyes. "And no cheating!"

Rolling your eyes with a small huff, you give a slow twirl. Natasha hands Steve the roll of toilet paper and he eyes your stomach before unrolling several squares of it. Bucky goes next, followed by Wanda and Lila. When Clint gets a hold of the roll and unfurls it dramatically, you can't help but growl at him. The others laugh and then take their turn, and then everyone is eagerly awaiting to see if they guessed correctly.

"Are you ready?" Natasha muses. Everyone nods. "It was eleven squares."

"Dammit! So close," Sam whines.

Everyone's looking around, but it's a smug Steve that raises his hand. "I guessed eleven."

"Boo!" Apparently, half the room are sore losers.

You laugh and then it's his turn to choose a prize. When he picks an envelope, he opens it up and his eyebrows raise in surprise. "An all paid expense trip to the spa and then a dinner reservation for two at some fancy restaurant."

"You're taking me to that," Sam immediately says.

Everyone laughs and then Pepper mentions taking a food break so you don't rush through the games. There are a lot of sandwich trays, fruit trays, and vegetable trays. And being the considerate pregnant werewolf you are, you let everyone else make themselves a plate before you, Steve, and Bucky make your own.

Eating carefully so as to not spill anything down the front of your outfit, the laughter and chatter around you makes you feel the most cherished you've ever felt. The finger foods itself is not enough to fill you up, but it does sate your hunger for now. However, with Wanda and Bucky still on either side of you even at the table, between the two of them they're constantly adding extra fruit and fruit dip to your plate.

A few more games are played afterward- Tony guesses the closest to the amount of jelly beans in a mason jar and wins a week-long getaway for two to Fiji, Natasha is the fastest with changing a diaper on a fake baby and wins another set of an all paid expense trip to the spa and restaurant for two, Lila wins at baby bingo and a check for twenty five hundred as well (Clint is clearly happy his family is raking in the cash), and Bucky is the fastest to suck all the apple juice out of a baby bottle which earns him a week-long trip for two to the Bahamas.

Everyone is having such a great time that a sudden alarm blaring immediately puts them on edge. But after Tony rapidly swipes through his phone to figure out what's going on, he realizes they're being called to assemble. Gazes dart in your direction, but you smile reassuringly at them.

"Go. The world needs you guys more than I do right now."

"But we didn't even get to see you open the presents," Wanda frowns.

"And that's fine. You already know I'm going to love whatever has been gifted. We'll gush about everything when you get back."

That seems to be all the team needs to hear before jumping into action and you're a bit surprised to see Bucky hang back. He waves Steve off when he notices his friend holding the elevator and you look up at Bucky with a furrowed brow. "You sure you're going to be okay, sweetheart?"

"Positive." You smile at him, stepping close to him and setting your hands at his waist. "And besides, opening these presents will not only distract me but it'll distract the kids as well. Go save the city or wherever you're needed, Sergeant. I'll be waiting in my apartment for when you get back."

Bucky's hands, both metal and flesh, reach up to gently cradle your face. His gaze darts all over your face for any signs of deceit, but finding none he finally grins. "Okay." He leans forward and kisses your forehead. "I'll be back soon." And then in a move that has you freezing and Pepper, Helen, and Laura's eyes widening, Bucky's hands drop to either side of your stomach as he bends at the waist and addresses your bump. "And you be good for your mama. I see the way you're making her flinch." He brushes his nose from side to side against your stomach and then chuckles when there's a kick in retaliation.

Before Bucky can straighten, you quickly paste on a smile but there's nothing you can do for the burning blush on your cheeks. And the damn prick smirks proudly at how flustered he's made you. "Go," you utter. "Go before Steve comes down to drag you to the jet."

Bucky gives you a nod before stepping back and turning around to saunter towards the elevator. You manage to keep it together until the doors close behind him, the elevator whisking him away, before someone says anything.

"Spill. Right now," Pepper says.

You glance at her, shoulders rising and lowering in a shrug. "I have no idea what the hell just happened, but I'm torn between crying at how cute that just was and wanting to desperately jump his bones." Lila giggles and your eyes widen. You point at her in an accusatory manner. "Stop giggling. You're not supposed to know what that means."

The other women snort as Laura urges her daughter to go play with her siblings and Morgan. Reluctantly she goes. Then as soon as she's out of hearing range, the ladies give you your full attention.

You sigh. "Bucky is.. a very attractive man. Too attractive if I must admit. And if I wasn't knocked up by some random guy's baby gravy, then I could definitely see myself turning on the charm and seeing if he's actually interested."

"First of all," Laura says, "never say baby gravy again."

Pepper snorts as Helen's nose wrinkles. "And secondly," Helen then pipes up, "that man adores you, baby and all." You huff in disbelief. "Don't think I didn't see him pacing outside my office at your last appointment. Or see the way he lit up when you gave him one of the sonogram pictures."

Laura smirks. "Clint told me Bucky keeps a copy of a sonogram in his vest."

And that- that's news to you. Yes you're well aware of your attraction to him as well as his attraction for you (being a werewolf really helps out when you can scent someone's emotions), but you wanted him to make the first move in order to be sure you and your baby were what he wanted.

"Whatever you decide to do, just know we all support you," Pepper says. You're still reeling at the fact that he carries your sonogram picture with him that you have nothing to say. "But until that day comes, why don't you start opening your gifts? I'm dying to know what the men thought were acceptable gifts."

Giving a feeble nod, Helen and Laura hurry to get up and start bringing over gift after gift. Then once you make yourself comfortable, Pepper hands you the gift she had gotten herself with squeals and coos following soon after you pull out onesie after onesie. The booties and floral headbands melt everyone's heart as well.

At the beginning of month nine, HYDRA starts to become a thorn in everyone's side. You figure they're looking for you and their precious cargo, but Natasha assured you everyone in the base you were held at had been taken care of and every file wiped from their computers. As far as other HYDRA bases knew, you did not exist. It was just a coincidence they were active again.

As the weeks slowly pass, your due date is any day now. So it's no surprise when you wake up in the middle of the night one evening, uncomfortable as can be, with pain in your back and lower abdomen.

It's four in the morning and you don't want to wake anyone, but Helen said to call her at any time in case something felt off. And this definitely classifies as something off. So after placing a call to your doctor and friend, Helen tells you to keep track of your contractions and head to the medical wing if they get too close together. She's currently in another state, but after a quick word with FRIDAY the A.I is sending for a quinjet to pick her up.

Moving from your bed to the couch in your living room, you work on trying to find a comfortable position. Sitting or laying down doesn't work, so you take to pacing. But you get tired of pacing very quickly and end up pulling out a yoga ball to bounce on.

By six in the morning, the contractions are about twenty minutes apart. The pain has amped up as the time passed that your claws and fangs have ended up elongating, and you've already shredded two of your couch cushions when you were suddenly seized up by a contraction. Eventually it becomes too much for you to endure so you have FRIDAY alert Wanda with a Code Pink. And not even four minutes later, Wanda is barging into your apartment with concern-filled eyes.

"Is this it? Is the baby coming? What's going on?"

You grimace, hands rubbing your stomach as you lightly bounce on your ball. "Uh, I'm in labor. This sucks."

"Well why aren't you in the med wing?" She asks. She comes closer to you, looking you up and down to make sure nothing else is wrong. "And what happened to your couch?" Instead of saying anything, you end up showing her. Another contraction hits and you snarl in pain, claws digging into your thighs and eyes blazing blue. Wanda's eyes widen. "Oh. I see." Then glancing upward, Wanda asks, "FRIDAY, how close are Y/N's contractions and can you please contact Doctor Cho?"

"The contractions are only eleven minutes apart now and Doctor Cho is still twenty-five minutes out. She has, however, advised me to inform Y/N that she should be heading to the med wing now. The nurses have been alerted and are waiting to have Y/N admitted."

A breath of air whooshes from your lungs just as you get yourself under control and you watch as the claw marks on your legs start to close themselves up. "Wanda," you pant, "I'm not going to be able to walk there."

"I got it." Your eyes watch as Wanda walks over to your kitchen, her hands glowing red as the same energy envelops one of your kitchen chairs. Right before your eyes, the wooden chair turns into a wheelchair. She then wheels the chair over to you, putting on the breaks before walking around to help you into the seat. "Now come on." She beams down at you. "Let's go have this baby."

Since the medical building isn't far, you don't bother with your pregnancy bag. The building is equipped with anything and everything you could possibly need and if you wanted your own stuff then you'd just send Wanda to get it. The elevator ride and walk towards the medical building is filled with your heavy breathing and pained grunts, as well as Wanda's encouraging words that are honestly starting to annoy you.

As soon as the nurses lay eyes on you, it's a whirlwind to get you situated as quickly as possibly. Wanda watches from the corner of your room and as soon as you're settled and the baby's heartbeat is resonating around the room, the terror sinks in.

You're about to have a baby. A BABY!? You're about to push out a baby that you're going to have to take care of for the next eighteen years and who will depend on you for the rest of her life. She will most likely be enhanced too and have to be looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life as well.

"Hey. You okay?" Wanda asks.

"No." Your voice cracks and the tears immediately well up as you meet your friend's concerned gaze. "I don't know if I can do this."

"What? Of course you can!" Wanda rushes towards you and takes a seat next to you on the bed, wrapping one arm around you and holding your hand with her other free hand. "This is just the pain and the realization that you're about to give birth talking, Y/N. You're going to be fine. And on the days where it does become too much, you have a whole team at your beck and call. You and baby Wanda are going to be fine."

Wetly chuckling, you say, "Nice try. That's not her name."

"Well you can't blame me for trying."

A wave of pain courses through you and you squeeze Wanda's hand. She hisses, you snarl, and when it finally passes you can sense a wave of pain radiating from your friend. Glancing at her, your eyes widen. "Oh no. I'm so sorry!"

Cradling her hand to her chest, she weakly smiles. "It's fine. It's not broken. I just- I never realized how strong of a grip you have."

You quickly take her injured hand within your own, concentrating on siphoning her pain away. You know it works when she tenses and pulls her hand out of your grip. "What was that? You had black veins-"

"It's okay. I was just taking away your pain. See?" You say, gesturing to her hand. You watch as she glances at her hurt hand once more, flexing her fingers and then looking at you in surprise. "Yeah. I kind of forgot I could do that."

"You forgot?" She laughs. Then sobering up, she says, "I bet you wish you could take your own pain away right about now."

"You have no idea."

When you become truly uncomfortable, Wanda has you sit in the middle of the bed and pulls your hair up into a messy bun before having you lean forward. Using as much pressure as possible, she presses her fist into the small of your back in hopes of alleviating some of the pain. Then when Doctor Cho finally makes her arrival, she comes with a cup of ice chips in hand and tells you to crunch on that while you're waiting.

Doctor Cho is just as excited as Wanda and you can't help but glare at them when one particular contraction has you groaning out in pain for over a minute. "Oh fuck HYDRA!" You shout once it's over. "There's so much fucking pain and I didn't even get to have the fun part of sex!"

Wanda's eyes are wide as Doctor Cho tries to hide her smile, moving around the machines to make sure you and baby are doing okay still.

"Um, bad time?" You glance at the doorway to find Steve and Bucky standing shoulder to shoulder. Steve looks rather amused whereas Bucky is looking at you as if you have bad news to deliver.

"Steve, the next time you go after HYDRA, kick them in the balls. Hard."

He snorts. "Sure thing, sweetheart. How long have you been in labor?" He nudges Bucky and the two of them walk in when Doctor Cho doesn't immediately shoo them out.

"Since four this morning."

Bucky and Steve are both about to admonish you, no doubt, when a contraction hits yet again. Your features immediately transform as you snarl and Wanda makes sure to keep her hands tucked close to herself. "They're getting closer," she muses. Then looking at Bucky, she says, "Come over here and hold her hand. She nearly broke mine earlier."

Bucky gulps. "Doll?"

"Give me your fucking hand, James!" Steve snorts as Bucky hightails it towards the bed, slipping you his vibranium hand for you to squeeze. And once the contraction passes, you slump back into bed and sniffle. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's, uh, it's fine. I understand."

"Just so you know, I got that on camera." Tony saunters in, Pepper at his side.

But while Tony is far too amused at your pain and yelling at Bucky, Pepper is elated for the life you're about to bring into this world. Wanda relinquishes her spot next to you so Pepper can slip in. "Hey Y/N, how are you holding up?" Her gentle touch as she brushes the sweaty flyaways off your forehead makes you cry once more.

"This sucks."

"I know it does, sweet girl, but trust me. It's going to be all worth it the second you hear your baby's cries."

Another contraction hits and you're grateful that Bucky had never pulled his hand back. You squeeze his vibranium hand and whimper in pain, and Doctor Cho comes forward. "Okay, Y/N, I'm going to have to see how far you're dilated now since the contractions are only two minutes apart."

Doctor Cho helps you prop up your knees and, though the blanket is still covering you, Tony blanches. And that- that makes you weakly laugh. "Alright, everyone, if you're going to stay I'm going to need you to stand near my head and not my feet. Got it? Cool."

Pepper quietly laughs and leans in to press a kiss to your temple. "We're going to go, but good luck! I can't wait to meet her."

"Thank you," you say just as she pulls away. "For everything."

Pepper winks at you and grabs Tony's hand, he willingly letting her take the lead. Wanda reclaims her spot and Bucky doesn't budge an inch. Steve, however, nervously rubs at the back of his neck. "I'll be in the waiting room and alerting everyone." Then meeting your gaze, his expression softens. "You're going to do great. I'll see you after."

You smile at him, but another wave of pain prevents you from saying anything. And once Wanda and Bucky are left alone, Doctor Cho pushes the blanket and your hospital gown up to your knees so she has an unobstructed view of your lower half. You wiggle at the sudden pressure between your legs and then she's looking up at you and smiling. "You're ready to push."

A sob stutters out as your fear comes back tenfold. You hold tighter to Bucky's hand and reach for Wanda's with your other hand, but you don't squeeze her like you are Bucky. "L-Last chance to book it out of here," you say without meeting their gaze. "Because the second I start pushing, you guys are stuck with me."

It's quiet and then, "As long as you want me, you have me. I am not going anywhere, sweetheart."

Your bottom lip trembles and Doctor Cho smiles adoringly at Bucky's words. Wanda chuckles. "Yeah. What he said."

"If you two are going to stay, I'm going to need you to wash up real quick and put on a sterilized cover."

Wanda and Bucky both assure you they'll be right back, and Doctor Cho leads them to a small room connected to yours where they can get ready. You can hear water running a moment later as your friends lather up and then the rustling of the paper coverings they have to put on that covers the front of their bodies. Then when all three return, Doctor Cho hurries around the room to prep what she needs for the delivery while also calling in a couple of nurses that you had okayed to be in the room when the two of you had made your birthing plan.

Bucky and Wanda take their places on either side of your bed, and Bucky immediately slips his hand into yours. Wanda just watches from her spot, anxiousness rolling off of her even though she's smiling widely. The two nurses finally enter the room, taking their place by flanking Doctor Cho when she slides a stool to the end of the bed you're laying on.

Doctor Cho smiles at you and gives you a nod. "Okay. You ready? We're going to push on three."

"Ready or not, she's coming," you say.

"That's the spirit." Doctor Cho then glances down at your lower half. "And push on one, two, three!"

Immediately you push with all your might for the first six seconds, but the excruciating pain flares up and you roar out in pain. You don't need a mirror to know your face has shifted and you barely hear Doctor Cho telling you to take a breath and that that was a really good push. So when you're allowed to take a break, you fall limp against the bed and start crying. "That hurt so fucking bad."

"Hey. That was good," Wanda assures you. "It'll be over soon."

You shake your head, denying her words when you come to the conclusion that you honestly don't know if you can do this. And then, "I think you dented my hand."

You startle at Bucky's words, snorting and then pulling your hand free and swatting him. "Shut up. No I didn't."

"You didn't," he grins. "But I got you to laugh. Now take a deep breath and do it again. Push."

Giving yourself a moment, you do exactly as you're told. You reclaim Bucky's hand and then push again, roaring out seconds later. When you fall back against the bed, tears are rolling down from the corners of your eyes. "I can't. I can't do this," you cry.

"You can and you have to," Wanda says. When you look at her, her own eyes are filled with tears. "You can do this, Y/N. You can. Now push again."

You continue to whimper until Doctor Cho tells you to push again. You do and it feels like the pain is even more excruciating now. Cho smiles. "Oh wow. There's the head." She glances up at you in surprise. "Your baby really wants out."

The nurses behind Doctor Cho immediately go into action, grabbing blankets and preparing for the baby's arrival. "Helen, I don't- I can't-"

"You can." You glance up at Bucky and nearly stop breathing when he leans down so his forehead is against yours. "You can do this, doll. You're almost there. Just a little bit more pain and then the most precious being ever will finally be here."

There's a lump in your throat, but you manage to swallow around it. "Easy for you to say. Your vagina isn't being stretched open way further than it's supposed to be."

He smirks. "Shut up and push."

"Fuck off, Barnes."

There's no malice behind your words, but it doesn't stop Bucky from acting as if offended. Then when you position yourself to push again, Wanda grabs onto one of your knees as Doctor Cho instructs her to and then Bucky does the same. You grunt, you scream, and you cry harder than you've ever cried, and after several more pushes there's a piercing wail that emits from the end of your bed.

All noise ceases except for the piercing cry and your eyes widen when you see Doctor Cho lift your baby still covered in a mess. She's laughing as she lightly wraps the baby in the blanket and then stands to lay her on your chest. "Congratulations."

The tears immediately come back tenfold as your arms come up to hold her against you. "Hi," you cry. "Oh my god. Hi."

The baby continues to wail as you glance between Wanda and Bucky, and you don't think you've ever seen them so stunned before. As your head falls back in exhaustion, Doctor Cho says, "We have to take her now. She needs to be cleaned up and we need to run a few tests before we bring her back."

And though you know she's right, you can't help the growl that bubbles up when you see one of the nurses step forward. You manage to suppress it seconds later, but the nurse is glued to her spot in fear. Bucky moves and you don't make a peep as he gently wraps the baby in the blanket once more and lifts her from your chest. Your eyes are glued to him as the smallest of smiles turn up the corners of his lips and then he's handing the baby to the waiting nurse.

"S-Sorry," you manage to say to the nurse.

And a moment later, she grins. "It's fine. New instincts are wreaking havoc on you, no doubt, but we we'll be back as soon as we can."

You nod at her, heart aching as you watch the nurses walk out of the room with your newborn daughter. Doctor Cho taps on your ankle and says, "Ready for the afterbirth?" Your nose wrinkles and she chuckles. "I know. I need to get you cleaned up and then tell you all about what your body's going to go through for the next month or so."

Sighing, you look up between your friends. "Go. Go find out how much Baby weighs and then tell the others she's here."

Wanda chuckles and her nose wrinkles in a cutesy manner as she gently cradles your face in her hands and leans down to kiss your forehead. "You did so well. I'm so proud of you."

"Mhm. Thank you for being here."

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't have missed this for the world."

Wanda takes her leave, no doubt to find the baby, and then you look up at Bucky. The emotion in his blue eyes is enough to make your heart stutter, but instead of repeating Wanda's actions, he grabs your hand and gently squeezes it. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me witness that. I-"

His own voice cracks and you smile knowingly up at him. "I know." You then bring his hand up to your lips, pressing a kiss to the back of his vibranium hand. "And thank you for being here. I wouldn't have been able to do this without you or Wanda."

He grins. "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Chuckling, you gently push him away. "Go. Go find my girl and then tell the others. I'm sure they're dying to know what happened."

Bucky smirks before backing away and then turning on his heel to take his leave. As he makes it to the door, he rips off his hospital covering and trashes it. Then walking down the corridors, mind reeling over everything he's just witnessed, he lets his hearing take him to where he can hear a baby fussing.

He finds Wanda not long after and she glances at him, smiling. "Six pounds, three ounces."

He exhales in awe. "Jesus. She's tiny."

"She is."

Side by side, Bucky and Wanda watch as the nurses give the baby a washcloth bath. The entire time she's screaming her lungs out, but it only makes them smile and laugh and joke about how Y/N is going to have her hands full. They continue to watch as her foot prints are taken for the birth certificate and measured, then rocked back and forth until she calms down.

When she's placed in a bassinet to rest, Bucky clears his throat. "I'm gonna go find Stevie and the others. Give 'em the good news."

Wanda just hums in response and then Bucky's on his way once more. This is the lightest he's felt in a long while and he can't quite explain the pure elation that he felt the moment he watched Doctor Cho put the baby on Y/N's chest.

"Hey there, Tin Man," Sam calls out. "Any news?"

Bucky glances up, masking his surprise that his feet had taken him to the waiting room without really knowing. "Uh, yeah." He slowly grins. "Six pounds, three ounces." Pepper gasps, smiling wide. "She's, uh, she's in the observation room right now. Wanda's there if you wanna see her before they take her back to Y/N."

Pepper is the only one to get up while Steve, Sam, and Tony hang back. A moment later, all three watch as Bucky numbly takes a seat.

"I- that was.."

"Intense?"

"Beautiful?"

"Grotesque?" Tony muses.

Bucky briefly glares at Tony before looking at Steve. "I didn't know seeing the birth of a baby would feel like that."

"It usually doesn't," Sam says. "I mean childbirth is a beautiful thing, but it's not usually so intense unless there's feelings for the lady giving birth. Come into any realizations lately?"

Bucky opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. Slowly closing his mouth, he frowns and then takes a moment to think about everything since Y/N was brought back to the compound. He thinks about every moment he had with her one on one, and one particular moment stands out to him. He'd been sitting in the communal kitchen when he heard someone approaching, their fucking fuckity fuck, fuck, fuck being a dead giveaway as to who it was. Y/N had rounded the corner, hands on her lower back and complaining about the full moon taking a toll on her body this time around.

Bucky suddenly sits up, eyes widening. "And there it is," Steve chuckles.

Sam starts to swear. "That doesn't count! Feelings have to be returned. We don't know how Y/N feels."

"Please." Tony scoffs. "If you can't tell that she's in love with Robocop, then the muffled sex noises from when they're boinking like bunnies after she heals will be a dead giveaway." Sam groans as Steve snorts and Bucky stands up without a word. "Atta boy, Buckaroo. Go get your werewolf."

Back in the room, you're cradling your baby and staring down at her in complete awe as you run your forefinger down the bridge of her nose. Wanda and Pepper sit in chairs next to the bed, and Helen stands at the end of your bed. "So everything checks out perfectly," she says. "Ten fingers, ten toes. Perfectly healthy."

"But," you muse, eyes never leaving your daughter's face. When she doesn't say anything, you glance up and smile sheepishly. "You're nervous about something. I can smell it."

She grins. "Right. I forgot you could do that." You continue to stare at her until she shifts nervously from foot to foot. "Well, um, when we took a sample of her DNA it was automatically entered into the system."

"Okay."

"I wasn't looking for anything. I promise," she pauses to gulp, "but it pinged in our system. We got a hit for a DNA match to someone who was already in the system."

"W-What?" Helen nods, uncomfortable. You glance between Wanda and Pepper, and both are equally shocked as you are. Then meeting Helen's gaze again, you ask, "Who?"

"James Buchanan Barnes."

The air seems to whoosh out of you at that and you don't know how to feel. On one hand, you're absolutely delighted. But on the other hand, he had no say in this and you don't want him to feel obligated when he no doubt finds out. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I ran it twice more and Bucky's the father."

"I'm what?"

Dread pools in your stomach as your gaze darts to the opened door. Bucky stands there frozen. "Shit," you quietly curse.

No one dares to say anything, so Bucky stumbles further into the room. "Did you just so I was the father?"

You gulp. "I-It would make sense. Why HYDRA was so ecstatic," you explain, tears stinging your eyes. When he glances at you, you say. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't," he says. "I'm not- I'm not mad." And in a move that surprises you after he's just found out that he's a father now, he sits on the bed just right in front of you. He smiles at you before his gaze darts down to your daughter and he chuckles softly while reaching up to gently caress her beanie clad head. Lowering his voice, he says, "I'm.. happy that it's me. That she's mine. Ours." He then looks up at you, his smile vanishing at the sight of your tears. "I mean, I won't push my way into your lives if you're not-"

"Shut up," you sniffle. "She's ours. Of course I want you there, but only if you want to be there."

Bucky's radiant smile in response makes you swoon, and Pepper and Wanda finally chuckle.

"I hate to break up this moment," Helen says, "but I need a name for the birth certificate. And signatures."

Guiltily looking at Bucky, you say, "I already chose a name. If I had known-"

"It's fine, sweetheart. I'm sure you chose a good name."

You nod and then glance over at Wanda. "I, uh, I wanted to honor the pseudo big brother she'll never get to meet." Wanda's smile falters, eyes glistening. "Her name is Petra. Petra Amaris." Pepper immediately coos and Wanda loses her composure. Your eyes widen and you glance at Bucky, gesturing for him to take your daughter. Panic flits across his features, but then he steels himself and reaches to carefully take her from your arms. Then once you're free, you maneuver over to the side of the bed closest to Wanda and reach for her hand. "Hey. Hey, shh. If you don't like it, I can-"

"No," she's quick to cut you off. "I love it. I'm just surprised, that's all."

"It's a beautiful name," Pepper assures you.

"Good."

Bucky looks so enthralled with Petra in his arms that you look for Helen and gesture for her to hand over the birth certificate. Taking it and a pen, you get to work filling in your name and signing it at the bottom. Then looking at the father portion of the certificate, you figure you'll let Bucky fill it in if he wishes. But as for Petra's last name, you fill it in without even thinking about it.

"Here. Your turn," you say. "Only if you want to though. No pressure."

Bucky glances at the birth certificate, reading it over. He grins before glancing at Petra once more and then takes the pen from you, gesturing for you to place the clipboard down on the bed so he can write. It takes only a few seconds and then you're handing it over back to Helen with a beaming smile.

It doesn't seem like Bucky is going to relinquish Petra anytime soon, so you take the moment to lean back in the bed and rest for a bit. However, you only get to relax for a few minutes before there's a knock on the door.

"Aw man, you're lookin' awfully cozy with that kid in your arms, Barnes," Sam says.

Steve elbows his friend as Tony makes a beeline for Pepper. "Huh. She's actually pretty cute," Tony says. "I thought I was going to have to come in here and lie about how cute she was."

"Tony!"

You grin at him, but Steve steals your attention away as he hovers over Bucky and reaches in to touch your daughter's tiny hand. "What's her name?"

You and Bucky meet each other's gaze, silently communicating about whether or not you should tell them. You give him a nod and he slowly smirks. He moves so both his feet are planted on the floor, and Sam and Tony have a better view of the baby cradle in his arms. "Her name is Petra."

"Aw damn. Named after the Maximoff speedster," Sam says, shaking his head. "Should have seen that coming."

Wanda giggles as you snort, but then you have to bite your lip to keep from bursting into laughter when Bucky tells them her full name. "Petra Amaris Barnes."

The men seem to all freeze, but then Pepper and Wanda coo about how adorable it is that you gave her Bucky's last name.

"Wait, what?" Poor Steve. He looks so confused. "Barnes? She has your-"

"I'm the random HYDRA operative who apparently supplied the other half of Petra's DNA."

"Holy shit."

"You got that right, birdie," Tony mutters.

You giggle and then shrug when Steve meets your gaze. "It was a surprise to us all, but apparently Bucky's more than okay with it."

The room goes quiet as the situation sinks in and then Tony starts to giggle. All eyes turn on him when says, "We sent in Barnes to seal the deal with Y/N and he really sealed the deal, huh? Got him a baby momma and everything."

You blink in surprise and then stare at Bucky, grinning softly when he seems to pink in embarrassment and refuses to look at you. You glance at Wanda and gesture towards the door, and she seems to get the hint. "Right, well," she says, standing up. "Why don't we give these two a bit of privacy while we go make some phone calls to Clint, Laura, and Nat. I'm sure they'd like to know Petra is healthy and that Y/N is doing fine."

Steve and Sam get the hint, but Pepper has to push Tony out of the room. Then left alone with Bucky, you smile at him. "Care to explain what Tony meant about you coming in here to get the girl?"

You watch as he gulps and you can see him trying to piece together what he's going to say. "I might have come to the conclusion that I liked you more than a friend and was coming to see how you felt about that."

Your breath hitches. He.. likes you? That was something you kind of already knew, but were waiting for him to say something. And leave it to him to confess after giving birth and your emotions were kind of haywire at the moment.

Unable to speak at the moment, you carefully lean forward until you're on your knees and Bucky glances up in surprise. And without warning, you press your lips to his in one of the most softest of kisses since he is still holding Petra.

It takes a minute for his brain to reboot and when he does, you smile against his mouth as he returns the kiss. "Is that," he mumbles, "is that your way of saying you like me too?"

His eyes sparkle and you huff a quiet laugh, biting the bottom corner of your lip as you nod. "I do. Have for a while, but didn't want to scare you off since I was pregnant."

"You wouldn't have," he assures you. "I adored the two of you long before I found out she was mine. I'm all in if you'll have me," he says.

You nod. "I want you."

"Good. 'Cause you're not getting rid of me. Ever."

"That's fine by me."

[azenkii]

A Long List of Trash Fire Lord Zuko Headcanons

...that i couldn't get out of my head:

(warning: SUPER LONG POST i havent figured out how to trim posts yet)

he's the one who unchains azula despite iroh's protests. she doesn't even try to fight him, just cries into his shoulder and keeps mumbling about how father's going to be so disappointed in her. he takes her to her rooms and has her drink a sleeping draught, then stations the best guards he has left outside her chambers.

his first council meeting takes place literally a day after sozin's comet. he hobbles into the council chamber shirtless with his entire torso covered in bandages and every council member just looks at him like '...what'

he does NOT sleep for like,,a week after sozin's comet and then another two weeks after his coronation. katara, aang and suki try to persuade him to sleep and he doesn't listen. eventually sokka, toph and mai team up to literally drag his ass to bed and tell him he's not allowed to get up until he sleeps (does mai pin him to the bed with her knives? yes. is it kinky or sexual in any way? definitely not.)

he drinks So. Much. Tea. at this point it's practically tasteless to him but he drinks it anyway because he just needs something to do and tea is something familiar. he keeps iroh on his toes because he's constantly asking for new tea blends, uncle, i think i actually tasted the last one,

he flat-out refuses to grow his hair for at least a year after ozai's defeat. the second it starts getting close to his chin he shears it off himself, with his knife, and his stylist has a heart attack every single time

when he's tired he'll occasionally jump up when one of his guards moves. it stops after a bit, but for the first month and a half or so he's really twitchy. when sokka asks, the only explanation he can come up with is that he's not used to having people stand behind him silently and not want to kill him, much less want to protect him (sokka immediately takes him out for a shopping trip and makes a point of walking behind him the entire time, but only on zuko's right side, where he can clearly see it if sokka moves towards him)

when the healer declares azula mentally unstable and in need of an institution, he shuts himself in his office for the rest of the night. no one's allowed in, not even iroh. he finally emerges in the morning, eyes red from crying and sleep deprivation, and tells the librarian that he'd like a list of the best mental institutions in the country, please, the best in the world if you can get them

he loves theatre (is this even a headcanon?). unfortunately it practically died out in the fire nation along with the rest of the creative arts, leaving nothing but small troupes like the ember island players. one of zuko's personal goals (meaning things he wants to accomplish that aren't as important as restoring his country) is to bring back theatre; he finally manages to do it after about eight months or so of being fire lord, along with other arts like dancing, music and sculpture

he establishes a national day of mourning, on the first day of autumn every year, to commemorate the genocide of the air nomads. from 100AG onwards, every calendar printed in the fire nation has it marked. at first it was called the day of repentance, but aang persuaded him to have it changed (by arguing that he didn't want guilt to be a literal staple of fire nation culture)

he introduces literally So Many educational reforms, plus a mandatory class that teaches students about the cultures of the other nations (air nomads included) and how some of their traditions overlap

he turns down the offer of having a statue put up of him in the capital. toph ignores him and does it anyway.

he visits azula regularly, makes sure she's (relatively) comfortable and well-fed, and sometimes just sits down outside her door and tells her about everything that's going on right now ('some of the far colonies have developed their own standardised writing, azula, you wouldn't believe it, and i've asked the fire sages to come visit more often—but you never liked them, did you? oh, well; i'll make sure none of them go into your chambers by mistake')

(he doesn't know it, but when he does this azula sits by the door and listens. she wonders what kind of writing the colonists have developed, and whether or not the fire sages have taken on some new recruits.)

he hates being above anyone else. never sits in the throne if he can help it, nor does he sit on the dais in the council room. when he talks to people shorter than him, he finds himself stooping a little bit to talk to them on their level (the exception to this rule is sokka, who he mocks for being shorter all the way up until sokka grows taller than him, the bastard)

the first time he visits the earth kingdom, the earth king's ministers call a toast. he ends up being the only one who has to sit out, because he's too young to drink by earth kingdom law

once his servants figure out he won't kill them for talking to him, they start becoming a lot more bold, telling him off when he doesn't take care of himself. at one point, they force him to let them take care of him so much that he literally just bolts into the gardens and hides there until the staff rope in mai and ty lee

when he needs to escape, he does one of two things: (a) he dresses up as the blue spirit and does some parkour until he calms down, or (b) he goes to work at the jasmine dragon. (b) happens less often bc the jasmine dragon's in ba sing se, but there's been a few memorable incidents when an earth kingdom diplomat walks in and yells, 'LEE?!' when they see the fire lord

the first court artist who draws him also happens to be the one who drew azulon and ozai. he draws zuko without his scar. zuko takes one look at it and tells him, very calmly, that he'd like him to leave, please.

zuko burns the portrait. he doesn't fire the court artist, but he never calls on him again unless he has to. a second court artist is called, and can't help but be a bit confused when the fire lord tells him to be sure to include the scar

he forgets the crown. a lot. sometimes he walks into council meetings in his sleepwear with his hair tied up in a messy ponytail and a bunch of scrolls tucked under his arm. none of his councilmen have the guts (or the heart) to tell him that this is not, in fact, formal council wear

he goes to feed the turtleducks when he's stressed. he thinks he's being subtle. he's not. the entire palace knows, and they consciously give him space when they see him in the turtleduck garden

most of his staff are older than him, so they look at him and see this teeny tiny fire lord who is So Small and who Must Be Protected. the day after zuko's coronation, the head chef holds a meeting where they commence Operation Do-Not-Let-That-Boy-Turn-Out-Like-His-Father (subsection He's-The-Only-Good-Thing-We-Have)

one night he wakes up to find suki sitting in his room, decked out in full kyoshi warrior garb and makeup, and just about screams blue murder. suki tells him there are suspicions of an assassin in the palace, and would you please stop yelling it's very distracting, we won't be able to hear anyone coming over that racket

zuko gets very, very paranoid of random spirits after that. yeah, suki looks like a possibly malevolent spirit when she's wearing her makeup, what about it? (when he tells sokka he's highkey terrified of spirit shenanigans, sokka just looks at him and says, 'man, the stories i could tell...', and THAT'S when zuko remembers sokka spent like six months more than he did travelling with the avatar)

on his first visit to the southern water tribe, he removes his boots and leg guards, rolls up his pants and kneels barefoot in the snow. even though chief hakoda immediately starts trying to pull him up, he's stubborn as hell and stays kneeling for the entirety of his very long, very sincere apology-on-behalf-of-the-fire-nation speech. he nearly loses his toes to frostbite after that, and both sokka and katara never stop giving him shit for it

the first time he grows a 'beard' is completely accidental. he's stressed over some trade miscommunications with chief hakoda, hasn't slept in a few days...and then when sokka arrives as water tribe ambassador to help smooth things over, he takes one look at zuko and says 'man, facial hair does not suit you'

zuko: facial what now

he checks a mirror to find that he's got stubble covering his chin, dark enough that it almost looks intentional, and holy gods how the fuck did he not notice this before

'UNCLE WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME' 'i assumed you were doing it on purpose' 'WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING ON PURPOSE'

he shaves it all off immediately, of course, which prompts a lot of teasing and rib-poking from sokka until zuko finally snaps that he's scared it'll make him look like his father. sokka stops after that.

(the day after sokka leaves, zuko finds that a mysterious someone has scribbled all over ozai's royal portrait, giving him a frankly ridiculous beard and moustache that literally CANNOT be grown in real life. oddly enough, he can't bring himself to care about the defamation of royal property. he's too busy laughing.)

his paths cross with toph and sokka more than any of the others, because sokka is ambassador and toph is technically still a beifong. most of the time, at formal functions, he ends up sequestered in the corner with toph and a hoard of snacks, and they talk and swear much more than they usually do (zuko's ministers once heard him when he was drunk with toph, and the servants swear the older ministers' ears started bleeding)

he restores fire nation cultural festivals, and in doing so subjects himself to learning a lot of complicated dances

during one memorable week, he wrote so many letters and drafted so much legislation that he ran out of paper. he had to go visit the nearest school and ask for some

he keeps up with his firebending and sword training even though it's hard to fit into his schedule. his ministers refrain from reminding him that he has guards to protect him now; it's still hard for zuko to trust his safety with anyone but himself (team avatar is the exception).

he started sleepwalking about two months into his reign. no one knew why. one time, he nearly sleepwalked right off the edge of a balcony, and one of his guards had to grab him by the back of his robes.

the sleepwalking stopped after around a month and never happened again. at this point it's practically palace legend.

after freeing the war prisoners, he went around collecting every single earthbender-proof wooden cell he could find in the capital and surrounding areas. when he'd gotten most of them, he gathered them into a huge pile in the city square and set fire to them with his own hands.

unfortunately he couldn't do that with the waterbender metal cells but he did get toph to come in and bend them all into pretty shapes (well, toph thought they were pretty shapes. everyone else thinks they're meaningless squiggles)

he learned how to write with both hands at the same time out of sheer necessity (he refused scribes until it became clear that he'd be putting some people out of a job; that was when he started letting scribes write very, very minor things, but all important documents/drafts/letters are still written by him)

he once put the wet end of an ink brush in his mouth instead of the wooden end by mistake. didn't even realise until he bit down to keep it in place and ink went oozing everywhere

when his guards rushed in to find him coughing and spluttering black liquid all over his desk they thought he'd been poisoned but no he's just stupid

on his 17th birthday, his first one after being crowned, he got tackled by team avatar in the middle of the ballroom and ended up at the bottom of a cuddlepile for like ten minutes

this cuddlepile happened at an event that was very much public and very much formal. it was a scandal for weeks

just. fire lord zuko, guys. so much potential

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Bound Blood (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 5.5 Bonus

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for language Warnings: None Summary: Local feral human spends some time with their new family. Four short bits featuring Daphne (Maiden OC), Bela, Lady D, Daniela, and a surprise guest. Enjoy. Previous Chapters: 1: Sharing Is (Not) Caring; 2: Bloodbath, Baby!, 3: Haunt Me Dearly, 4: Portraits For Ghosts, 5: Heart Of The Matter

5.5: Family

i.

“Wait, you’re telling me that you came here willingly?” You asked, mouth agape, eyes wide. It felt like every time you talked to Daphne she had something incredible to say. Which was, of course, why she was your favorite maiden to talk to. That, and the fact that she had adapted so quickly to your ‘charming personality’. So far she was the only servant you had been willing to be honest with. Mainly about your feelings regarding your blood bond, but also just about your relationship with Cassandra in general. Something about Daphne simply made her incredibly approachable. From what you had heard, you weren’t the only one to think as such, with her being fairly popular among the castle workers.

“More of us do than you might expect. Some consider it an honor to serve one of the four Lords, and Castle Dimitrescu is certainly… nicer than either the factory or the reservoir. Personally, I came here for a friend of mine. She, well, had less of a choice. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being here without knowing anyone, so it felt like I only had one option. Can’t say I regret my decision, if you can believe it,” Daphne explained, folding laundry all the while. At the same time, you carefully sort through the not yet washed clothing, separating them into two baskets. After all, you wouldn’t want Lady Dimitrescu to end up with a pink dress! Technically this wasn’t your job, nor did you have a job at all, but you hated having idle hands- especially when talking to someone who was working. At first Daphne had protested, but she had given in upon realizing just how stubborn you could be.

“That’s… impressive. I mean, holy shit, that's a real ride or die friendship right there. Is she, uh, is your friend still, you know, around?” You stuttered, cursing your tongue for asking such a thing. If the answer was no, you were going to feel like a real asshole. Which, admittedly, you had a tendency to be. But this wasn’t one of the times where it was intentional. Thankfully, Daphne is all smiles, and even seems amused by your spluttering.

“Yes, we’re even roommates. Well, us and five others. Possibly with a sixth one on the way, if we ever get someone to fill the empty space,” she replies, pausing to think. Then she’s back to work, refusing to waste any time. “Speaking of roommates… I know I said I’m not one for gossip, and I meant it, but a little songbird told me that Cassandra seems to be in a much better mood these days. Are the two of you, well, getting along? It would be nice to know that soulmates can overcome even the roughest of introductions.” There’s a hint of something odd in her tone, and you take a moment to wonder what she’s (unintentionally) hinting at. Had she met her soulmate, only for things to go poorly?... Before answering her, you make a mental note, deciding to see if any of the other maidens had a scar across their nose.

“It’s not like she and I are dating or anything. We’re just, you know, not hating each other. Currently,” you said, shrugging. But Daphne raises an eyebrow at you, and you find yourself instinctively feeling guilty, somehow feeling small next to the shortest person you knew. “Alright, alright, we might have… Okay we kissed. And promised each other not to die, because having your soulmate die hurts like hell. Also maybe she showed me her mom’s art collection and I made a joke about the titty sculptures because holy shit, this house has a lot of titties.” At this, Daphne bursts into laughter, grinning from ear to ear.

“Amen to that, for sure.”

ii.

“So… fan of science, I see,” you say, awkwardly, bouncing a little on your heels. Next to you is the eldest Dimitrescu daughter, who had unexpectedly joined your table in the library. There were several other places she could have sat, with both more comfortable seating and more workspace, but for some reason she had chosen here. So far she hadn’t said a word. Hell, you hadn’t spoken to her since your first meeting, where she had suggested killing you. Naturally, you weren’t quite sure what to make of her. Something told you that she felt much the same about yourself.

“Fan of oversimplification, I see,” Bela counters, after a few tense seconds. Then she sets down her book- a heavy text about Romanian avian fauna- to give you her full attention. “It would be more accurate to say that I enjoy studying biology, particularly the branch of zoology.” Well, this conversation was certainly… happening. Honestly, you couldn’t tell whether she was legitimately judging you, or merely chaffing you for her own amusement.

“You’ll have to, er, forgive me for being overly broad. Consider it a side effect of my nerves, those themselves being due to our unsavory introduction. In case you don’t recall, you put that sickle of yours into my shoulder,” you reminded, with a sarcastic smile. To your surprise, Bela chuckles at this, almost as if fondly remembering the incident. Seriously, you think, why did my soulmate have to be from this family?

“Staying silent was an option. Perhaps that would have suited you better?” Bela says, now clearly teasing, smile much more genuine than your own. Knowing she had a point, you’re quick to blush, mildly embarrassed.

“Touche. I am curious, however, why you decided to sit next to me in the first place. I certainly wouldn’t have tried starting a conversation if you hadn’t,” you explained.

“Like I said… I enjoy studying zoology,” Bela replies, with a sly grin. It takes you a few moments to understand the intended implications. Once you do, however, you’re giving her a hard stare. Then you scoot your chair a few inches away from her, in exaggerated movements. “Don’t worry, I was only joking. Though you certainly are an interesting human. Much more, hmm, cheeky? Compared to the servants, at least.”

“Somehow I get the feeling that they simply prefer being alive, as opposed to not being as snippy. Except maybe Daphne, now that I think about it. Very sweet, that one,” you muse. “Regardless, I think I’ll return to my book now, for it lacks a tongue, and is therefore less likely to taunt me.” Doing just as you had said, you open the book, holding it a bit higher than what would be comfortable, so that it becomes a ‘shield’ of sorts. Nothing was quite as satisfying as subtle body language.

Accepting your words with a shrug, Bela also resumes reading, turning to a bookmarked page. Roughly an hour of relative quiet passes. Neither of you so much as glance at each other, not even when she drops the pen she had been taking notes with. In the end, you are the one who leaves first, and finally the silence is broken. You give your goodbyes, and Bela returns them politely. Though you do not know it, she sets her book down as soon as you leave, pausing to think about you. Now that things had ‘calmed down’, it was reassuring for her to know that you weren’t always full of spite. Still, you held onto your cleverness (for the most part), leaving her with no doubt about the universe’s decision. You were her sister’s soulmate.

iii.

“It’s official: I’m lost in a creepy castle. The universe hates me. Probably should have realized that sooner, considering how it decided to introduce me to my soulmate,” you mutter, scowling deeply, as you wander unfamiliar halls. How had you even gotten lost? Sure, you had taken a wrong turn, but it hadn’t taken long for you to realize your mistake! Evidently you somehow managed to make another one while backtracking. Now you were standing in the center of the corridor, hands on your hips, desperate for some maiden to come rescue you. What you really didn’t want was Cassandra to find you, because she’d make fun of you for the rest of your life. It’s not like she had specifically joked about you getting lost before. Except that was exactly what had happened.

A few minutes pass uneventfully. There aren’t even any distant sounds of life; no footsteps, nor echoing voices, nor the squeaking of floorboards. All you can hear is your own breathing. As well as the occasional sigh, admittedly. By this point, there’s a part of you that’s starting to panic. After all, there was a chance that the castle was big enough for certain sections to be abandoned. Hopefully that’s not the case, you think, I mean, they’d cut the power to those parts, right? Here’s hoping… With that in mind, you get back to wandering, figuring that you’d have to eventually run into a familiar landmark. Or better yet, someone who actually knew the castle’s layout.

When salvation at last reveals its holy visage, it is not in the form of a lowly servant, rather the muffled voice of none other than Lady Dimitrescu herself. Neither her exact words nor who she’s speaking to is clear. At first, you can’t even tell where her voice is coming from, but you quickly approach one closed door, then another, searching for the source. Several doors later you’re certain you’ve found her. By then you can tell that she’s not alone. Not wanting to seem rude by interrupting, you take a few steps back, leaning against the wall to wait. For the most part you still cannot make out what’s being said, but a few words do reach your ears.

“-expected more from you. How am I-” the voice gets cut off, not by Alcina, rather a sudden gust of air, akin to massive wings flapping. When the speaker continues, they are both louder and angrier. “Someone is listening. Have you not taken steps to ensure our privacy?” Then the door is swinging open, revealing your soulmate’s mother. At first she’s practically shaking with rage, but her expression turns to shock when she sees you.

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Cassandra?” Lady Dimitrescu asks, clearly stressed, as she steps into the corridor. There’s movement behind her, although you cannot make out any details. Besides, you’re quick to answer her, wishing to avoid her wrath (and that of whoever she was speaking to).

“I’m so sorry, Lady Dimitrescu, I was walking from the dining hall to Cassandra’s studio, and I took a wrong turn. I’ve been wandering for half an hour now. When I heard your voice, I thought perhaps I could, well, enlist your assistance. But you were busy, so I figured I’d wait outside. If I had-...” you pause, gulping, as the other figure steps into view. It’s a face you’re all too familiar with. One that popped up countless times through the village, and again throughout the castle, the owner’s name always spoken with acclaim, with worship. Mother Miranda, in the flesh, wings spreading out behind her, somehow cutting a more impressive silhouette than even Lady Dimitrescu. Instantly you’re falling to your knees, knowing that your sharp tongue was no match for this practical goddess.

“Who is this, Dimitrescu? Why isn’t their blood staining your claws?” Miranda questions, gaze never leaving your trembling form.

“This… this is one of my daughters’ soulmates. They were brought in with the last group of sacrifices,” Lady Dimitrescu explains, uncharacteristically hesitant. ‘Twas a true testament to Miranda’s power, as well as her influence, that she could make someone so powerful seem so weak. Which was exactly why you were shaking with anxiety. But to your surprise, the goddess does not immediately order your execution for your trespass.

“And already they know their place, hmm? Kneeling before me?” Miranda says, a strange smile dancing on her lips. Whatever anger she had been feeling a minute prior had faded, though you couldn’t even begin to guess as to why. Regardless, both Alcina and yourself are quite relieved, though neither of you are quick to show it. “Either they have a good head on their shoulders, or you still take care of some of your duties. Very well, they may live. For now. But I expect next week’s report to be far more favorable. I don’t need to remind you of the price for failing me.” With that said, Mother Miranda turned to leave, a swirling mass of dark feathers flying past you.

A minute passes, maybe two, before either of you feel capable of speaking up.

“Let’s get you back where you belong, yes?” Lady Dimitrescu says, quietly, before placing her hand on your shoulder to guide you. Tension hangs clear and heavy over both of you. Even as you walk down corridor after corridor, the feeling does not ease. At least not until you’re back in familiar territory, near where you had originally made your mistake, finally able to breathe a little. It’s here that Lady Dimitrescu pauses to speak once more. “Tomorrow I will assign one of the servants to give you a tour, in the hopes that this does not happen again. Furthermore, I ask that you forget everything you heard earlier, for it is neither your business… or my daughter’s.” You’re quick to nod, and with that she bids you farewell, leaving you alone. Now, you think, was it left from here, or right?

iv.

“I’m just going for a walk. Why do you care so much? It’s not like it’s any of your business,” Daniela assures you, despite the fact that all you had done was say ‘hello’. If this was her attempt at casting aside suspicion, she had done a terrible job of it. What made her so nervous? Was it even worth investigating? Only one way to find out.

“You’re rather bundled up, planning on being out for long?” You ask, trying to sound casual, leaning against the wall as you did. In response, Daniela pretty much stomps her foot. There’s something odd in her expression, however, that implies your question hit a soft spot. Certainly wasn’t what you had expected. “Don’t mind me, just trying to make conversation with my soulmate’s sister. Speaking of her… have you seen Cassandra? Is she, perhaps, going with you?” A little misdirection never hurt anyone. Probably.

“No!” Daniela replies, fast as a gunshot, too much emphasis to be unintentional. But she realizes her mistake as soon as she’s made it, and makes a clear effort to relax herself. “She’s probably in her studio, doing whatever it is she calls art, on the other end of the house. Besides, I don’t want any company for this walk.” For a moment you merely squint at her, unsure of how to proceed. In the end, you decide that it really is none of your business, being more than satisfied by what teasing you’ve already done.

“Alright, alright. Well then, I’ll leave you be. Just… be careful, yeah? If you get hurt, and your mother finds out that I didn’t stop you from going… not sure Cassandra could save me,” you say, with a shrug. At first Daniela can’t decide whether to be upset or relieved, but she seemingly settles for the latter, giving you a brief nod before heading outside. As the door shut behind her, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had done the right thing.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 314: ...Or You Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Villain

Previously on BnHA: Some random assholes were all “let’s throw exploding spears at All Might and see if it activates his Conqueror’s Haki” and SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS, IT DID!! Elsewhere, Lady Nagant confusingly tried to capture Deku alive by shooting him in the stomach, but to be fair I guess that’s what happens when you send an assassin to do a bounty hunter’s job, so yeah. Deku was all “ouch”, and then because this is a shounen he basically just straight up forgot about it, and did a big fancy Smokescreen thing, and then activated his mildly incomprehensible new ki-blasting quirk which he got from the Third. En and the Third were all “hey Deku maybe let’s not just impulsively activate all this shit in the heat of battle when you don’t know how to use it yet and you’re already injured,” and Deku was all “thanks for the quirks guys but I’ll take it from here” and snuck up on Nagant and grabbed her arm and so now what’s going to happen I wonder.

Today on BnHA: Nagant is all “[shoots Deku again]” because of course she is lol. Deku is all “tell me about AFO!” and Nagant is all “why would I tell you anything?” and then proceeds to tell him her entire life story which is FILLED WITH SO MUCH MURDER, YOU GUYS. Holy shit. So basically she was an assassin for the HPSC, which we already knew, but somehow it’s one thing to know that, and another to actually see her running around capping dudes in the forehead and being covered in more blood than the elevator from The Shining. Anyway, so you’ll never believe it, but all that murder had a negative impact on her psychologically, and eventually led her to question everything she believed about hero society, and so she killed her creepy boss and was promptly sent to Tartarus. This extremely fun chapter ends with Overhaul showing up all “HI, HELLO, I’M STILL HERE”, because for some reason he is still here. Why are you still here, Overhaul.

“the beautiful Lady Nagant” oh you know your audience don’t you Horikoshi

well all right then! so I’m guessing this means that she is not, in fact, going to roll over and die just because Deku’s out here all “GOT YA!” like they’re playing a game or tag or something. ffff may the manga gods have mercy on our young suicidal protagonist

lmao so Deku is all “GOD I’M SO SMART, WHAT A GOOD STRATEGY I HAD, CAPITOL JOB THERE OL’ CHAP, CAPITOL” and lol, okay. I mean, it was a good plan though. but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop here

“I’ll make you give me information on All for One” well there you go, lol. Deku Angst arc still fully engaged. still no light in his eyes either of course. just a lil chaotic ball of sleep deprivation and rage

lol, fucking THANK YOU though

oh my god what the hell did she do to him lol

did she shoot him with her elbow??? fucking look at this?? THIS IS WHY WE LISTEN TO HAWKS oh my god Deku are you dead

WHAT’S HAPPENING, IS THIS GOOD OR BAD, WHO’S WINNING

things that I wish I could tell from this panel which I unfortunately cannot tell

did she stab him or shoot him?? can you imagine if it was the former lol. why does Horikoshi keep stabbing all my kids. look Kacchan now the two of you can match

did she actually hit him or did he get away??

or did she hit him and then he jumped away?? just, what

well anyway, so now Deku is asking her why she sided with AFO, but he seems a lot more pissed off than when he was interrogating Muscular, though. probably because she shot him three times. fair enough

oh my god

does Lady have a blog here on tumblr dot com?? -- does Horikoshi have a blog here on tumblr motherfucking dot com?? why do I suddenly feel like this man is out here sneakily reading up on all our discourse

oh my god Deku it’s almost like getting up close and personal with someone who can shoot custom bullets from any distance and any position with deadly accuracy was a terrible fucking idea

IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD WARNED YOU NOT TO ENGAGE WITH HER AT ALL COSTS. IF ONLY SOMEONE HAD HAD THE FORESIGHT TO DO THAT sob. can you imagine how much shorter this series would be if characters actually listened to Hawks. Hawks, and Momo. why do we even let anyone else run the show ever

OH MY GOD

DEKU, RUN

OH MY GOD WHAT IS HAPPENING

this looks a lot like what happens to me whenever I play One’s Justice. those fucking combo attacks that you can’t fucking escape from and so your character just has to stand there getting their ass whalloped repeatedly while you wonder why you paid $40 for this

but anyways though. so Lady who did you kill?? I bet they deserved it, don’t worry I forgive you

(ETA: ANYWAY SO FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT LADY NAGANT DID NOTHING WRONG EVER IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. aside from murdering all those innocent people and shit. but there were CIRCUMSTANCES, and THEY WERE EXTENUATING, OKAY.)

-- holy shit

looks like the HPSC arc is back on the menu boys

so are we about to learn that the HPSC was going full Hydra on people’s asses? secretly dispatching anyone they deemed a threat to society?? “taken care of” as in you fucking shot them??

so then was the “hero” she killed actually one of the guys who was giving or carrying out these orders?? holy shit Lady, up until now I’ve mainly just been stanning you for your flawless eyebrow game and metal af quirk, but this shit could actually get real very quickly, and I am prepared to genuinely and sincerely love the shit out of you depending on what we learn next about your backstory

oh my god?!?

so wait, hold up. am I reading this right?? basically the HPSC started murdering vigilantes because they were worried they were gaining too much of the public’s favor?? holy fucking shit???

oh my GOD oh my god

“it’s been a while since I scarred you all with the dead dog and the graphic slaughter of an entire innocent family, huh,” Horikoshi says thoughtfully. “anyway so what do you all think of my new creation, the Spaghetti Bullet.” well, Horikoshi, so you know that squished-up face that Kermit the Frog makes sometimes? yeah. that’s what I think, if you must know lol

holy hell the juxtaposition

I’m actually kind of surprised to learn she had a lot of fans? what with her M.O., I was expecting her to have been an underground hero like Aizawa, but apparently not? then again I still have absolutely no idea how any of that works. I really need to read Vigilantes already

oh snap

nothing like a sweet dose of assassin trauma to finally round out our BnHA Trauma Bingo!! well done guys, we finally collected all of the traumas! hooray!

noooo Ladyyyyyyy

holy shit what a fucking chapter. like, this man promised us an assassin, and went and fucking delivered. I was not expecting it to be this dark, lol, but holy shit I am here for it

you know, at some point you have to start questioning the logistics of this, though

I mean, how do I put this... her quirk isn’t exactly subtle. that murder scene from a few pages back looked like the first season of Dexter for fuck’s sake, that’s not exactly “disappearing” people now is it?? and I mean, her bullets are literally made from her own fucking hair; it seems like it would be impossible not to leave any evidence behind. did no one start to wonder who the fuck was going around murdering all these people? or did the people who asked too many questions wind up getting conveniently “disappeared” themselves??

and hey, speaking of asking too many questions

holy shit is he blackmailing her??!? or no, wait -- what the hell is he reaching for in his pocket boy you better not

(ETA: what exactly was this man expecting fdslkjd. “uh oh my unstoppable hair trigger assassin who is literally always armed is asking questions, better announce that I am going to shoot her and then reach into my pocket veeeeeery slowly while she stands there all of two feet away.” how did this guy ever function as the head of a shadow government with these decision-making skills, I’m genuinely baffled.)

OH MY GOD LADY YES

this. right here. is why “run the fuck away” was damn good solid fucking advice. oh shit. but my god did this dude have it coming

so wait lol has she just been narrating all of this out loud to Deku this entire time

okay but can we just stop for a moment and appreciate the fact that they’re having this deep conversation about the dark secrets of hero society right in the middle of their intense mid-air sniper free-for-all lol

holy shit you guys, Nagant’s the one that should have made the tell-all video. I mean, no offense to you, Dabi, I’m sure you worked very hard on your video and did a ton of crunches every day so that you would look good with your shirt off while you told the world all about how your dad was a jerk. but seriously...

this is already like 100x more convincing than what he put out. also, gasp, is it another flashback

yes it is oh my gosh

so the HPSC Chairladyperson whom ReDestro killed used to be this guy’s direct subordinate, huh? I wonder if she kept the whole assassin program going after she took over. can’t say I was feeling any particular kind of grieving way about her death before, but certainly not now lol

but unfortunately Nagant has finally lost me at the same place where all of the villains inevitably do, which is to say when they somehow make the dubious mental leap from “society sucks and is bad” to “let’s just be openly fucking evil lol, worth a shot.” because when heroes murder innocent people and cover it up, that’s obviously bad (and I mean, it absolutely fucking is lol, don’t get me wrong); but when villains murder innocent people straight up out in the open without giving a fuck, they’re righteous revolutionaries? just -- is there really no non-murdery middle ground here?? I guess that’s what Deku and co. are for, hopefully

anyways oh shit Deku seems to have spotted something?? and he’s doing something weird with Blackwhip what

oh, he spotted her, I guess

lmaooooo

new favorite Deku panel right here. a masterpiece

oh my god you guys our little boy is starting to grow up before our eyes

you love to see it. and you can tell with those elipses that he’s gearing up to say something really cool and determined and badass like the shounen protag he is, yes please, Deku ilu so much please do your thing

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

IS THAT A TEENY TINY LIL EYE SPARKLE THERE OMG. still not anywhere close to his usual standard, but that’s some clear resolve there in his eyes there at long last! it always shines the most clearly when he’s being true to himself and his ideals, so I love that it finally shows up again here, when he’s reaffirming his resolve to help others no matter what

uh oh so what’s Lady going to do now

is it time for a trump card?? kinda sounding like it’s time for a trump card

???

I lied btw, this is my new favorite Deku panel. but anyways what is she up to now lol

ohhhhhh, lol

why does she seem shocked, lol. here I thought this was part of her plan, but apparently she forgot all about ol’ “Look Ma, No Hands” back up there

and so I guess that’s it for this week! so we’ve learned basically everything now about Lady and her quirk and her history with the HPSC and why she agreed to work for AFO. pretty much the only question that still remains is why the hell she decided to drag this asshole along for the ride! because I still cannot figure that out dsklkjlkf

(ETA: actually now I’m kind of wondering if they maybe have some past connection we don’t know about yet. when exactly was Nagant sent to Tartarus? is it possible she was ordered to track down and kill Overhaul at some point before that, but never got around to it? or something else along those lines? idk but now I’m curious.)

anyways Deku, I know that your empathy has no bounds and that you’re on a “saving villains” kick right now, and good on you... but also, if you decide to just like, skip all of that shit just this once, absolutely no one will hold it against you, I’m just saying. just, all I’m asking here is maybe let’s think twice before we start trying to reform guys who imprison and torture little girls for profit. I think maybe that’s a good place to draw the line. next week is going to be a very interesting chapter lol

[gay-otlc]

Straight A Supervillain- 11

Sapphics!!

Kindly ignore my inability to write romance

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“Can I get some advice?” Lani asked, twisting her hands together.

Naomi blinked. Lani… was asking em… for advice? Seemed fake, but okay. “I cannot guarantee that it will be good advice, but go ahead.”

“Cool.” A long pause.

“Um, you don’t like, have to-”

“Nah, I’m just gonna rip the fucking band-aid off.” Lani grinned, though it looked hesitant. “I’ve kind of been, like, questioning. My romantic orientation.”

Ignoring how absolutely awkward it would feel to discuss romantic orientation with eir crush, Naomi laughed and asked “And you thought I was the person to go to when you’re questioning? My gender is literally just confused screaming.”

“Yeah, I think my romantic orientation might also be confused screaming. And just when I thought I’d finally figured out the sexuality stuff, the split attraction model comes along.”

“Ahh, that’s annoying.”

“Right?” Lani rested her hands on her head and leaned back against the wall, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Naomi’s eyes stayed fixed on her. “See, I thought I was pansexual, and then I found out about the ace spectrum and everything and I figured panromantic demisexual worked better for me. But nooo, nothing’s ever that simple, and now I’m thinking I might be, like, on the aromantic spectrum?”

Naomi would like to think ey deserved some sort of award for keeping a straight (ha) face and not letting on that, oh, disappointment was sinking into eir stomach. It’s not that ey wasn’t happy for Lani figuring herself out, but just… unrequited bisexual pining. Ah, well. Ey was no stranger to unrequited bisexual pining. So ey smiled. “That’s great! Does that mean now you’re good at cards and archery?”

“Very funny,” Lani said, and that might have been sarcasm, but considering it was very funny, Naomi chose to believe it was genuine.

“Thank you.”

She sighed. “I don’t really know. This is all so complicated. I think I’m definitely, maybe, at least 90% sure I’m on the aromantic spectrum somewhere. But I don’t think I’m fully aromantic?”

This was a fucking rollar coster of hope and disappointment, but processing that was for another day. Supporting Lani was the main thing right now. Ey thought back to all the queer infographics ey’d seen. “So, like, what… greyromantic?”

“Maybe? Ugh. Like. I feel some attraction, maybe, probably. But it’s not at 100% allo? I could try to name a number, but it would honestly just be something random and it wouldn’t mean anything.”

“Hey, did you know that 69% of statistics are made up on the spot?”

A beat, and then Lani laughed. “Anyway, I was kinda psyching myself up to ask my crush-or-something to the VHS dance we’ve got coming up in a bit? And then the arospec crisis hit me like a ton of bricks, so now I just have no idea if I should ask em out.”

Wait. Em. Either there was another neopronoun user in this school (not unlikely, but…) or Lani was… talking about Naomi. As her crush. The person she possibly felt some romantic attraction towards. Eir leg bounced, trying to release some of the frantically excited energy building up.

“Em?” ey asked, barely keeping emself from shouting.

“Shit.” Lani flushed bright red and looked away. “Fuck. Um. Yeah. Did not mean to use specific pronouns for anyone. Oops. Sorry. I’m just gonna go let the floor swallow me whole.”

She stood up. Naomi stretched out a hand. “Wait! Um.”

“Mmm?”

“I like you,” Naomi blurted, and that was definitely the least romantic confession ey could have ever imagined. Ey stood up next to Lani, cringing. This scene had played thousands of times in eir daydreams, and this was… not close to eir ideal fantasy.

“You- what?”

“I have a crush on you.” Lani definitely wasn’t the only one wanting to sink into the floor right now, but also… but also ey couldn’t stop smiling.

Holy shit, please let this really be happening.

Lani smiled. “I kinda thought you might. But would me being… arospec, or whatever I am, be a problem?”

“Of course not! Honestly, Lani, I just like having you in my life, and I would really be happy to have you as a friend, and like… if our relationship is more romantic, I’d be fucking ecstatic, and if it’s greyromantic or something, I’m down for that. I feel like I’m probably saying this wrong but even though romance would totally be what made me happiest, I’d be happy with whatever you’re most comfortable with.”

Lani reached out to take Naomi’s hand in hers, and honestly, for a second Naomi thought ey might faint. “What if I don’t really know how I feel? Or how attraction works for me?”

“Hey, not knowing is fun. I mean, it’s hell. A little bit. That’s how it is for me with gender, you know? I’m looking everywhere for an answer and I’m not finding shit. I’m not really sure there is one, maybe my gender is just a big red question mark. But there’s something kind of cool about embracing that and just letting yourself be a question mark.”

A thumb brushed against eir knuckles. “I actually like that a lot. So we can just be dating, question mark.”

Ey couldn’t hide eir grin even if ey’d wanted to. “I’d like that. Lani, would you like to be my… maybe-girlfriend?”

“Yeah!”

“Great!”

“Great!”

Both of them smiled like idiots. Did the rest of the world exist? Did it matter? This was perfect.

“Do you want to be my maybe-girlfriend? Or maybe-boyfriend? Or… I don’t know, maybe-partner? What term would work best?”

“My earlier statement about gender being a question mark seems relevant now,” Naomi joked, trying to imagine the words. “What if you used girlfriend and boyfriend interchangeably? That would be so gender.”

“Yeah, sure.”

They fell silent again, going back to staring into each others eyes like they were in a fucking wattpad fanfiction. Naomi couldn’t stop eir gaze from slipping down to Lani’s lips more than once. And… Noel opened the door with a slam, ruining the moment. “Lani! Cameron needs help with an essay and I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just the math guy.”

Lani’s hand pried away from eirs.

“Sorry. Am I interrupting something?”

Both of them blushed and stammared out what could only be called an answer if ey was being generous. Eventually, Lani cleared her throat and said “We’re maybe dating now.”

“Maybe dating?”

“I’m arospec, I think, and I’m not totally sure where that leaves us.”

Naomi couldn’t resist draping an arm over eir maybe-girlfriend’s shoulder. “But wherever it leaves us, I like it.”

“That’s very cool and I’m happy for you, but Cameron still doesn’t know how to write an introduction paragraph and I’m half convinced she’s about to break her computer in a fit of rage, so, you might want to come help.”

Lani followed Noel out the door, and Naomi, jaw slightly agape, flopped backwards onto the bed. Gaze fixed on the ceiling, ey breathed out “Holy shit.”

What had just happened?

“Holy motherfucking shit.”

The next day, Naomi held hands with Naomi walking to all their classes, and could not wipe the smile off eir face. At least, not until Professor Night pulled another “Naomi, talk to me after class.” Lani did blow a kiss as she left, though, so it was not as bad as it could have been. At least if Naomi died now, ey would die happy.

“Naomi?”

Shit. “Yes! Hi. Hello.”

“Have you completed the presentation on your plan for Blaze?” For once in eir life, ey actually had been productive. In a timely fashion, too! So ey nodded. “Excellent. You’ll be presenting it at our school wide assembly tomorrow.”

Naomi. Presenting. In front of people. Shit. Couldn’t ey just get detention? “Um… okay.”

It was not okay.

“Are you okay?” Lani asked as soon as ey walked into their room. Naomi groaned.

“I have to give a presentation.”

Lani patted eir shoulder. “That’s my worst nightmare, I am so sorry. My advice would be to just turn invisible but you cannot do that.”

“Light the auditorium on fire,” Cameron suggested from his desk.

And for some fucking reason, Naomi did not take her advice. No, Naomi was standing on the stage in front of a sea of people, who were definitely not on fire. Why didn’t ey take their advice? Fire was fun, but seriously, why couldn’t ey have gotten invisibility? Lani got to disappear whenever there were too many people! Honestly, it was so biphobic that ey couldn’t.

From the front row, ey caught Lani’s eye. She gave em a thumbs up and mouthed break a leg.

Maybe ey wouldn’t die after all.

Shakily, ey began reading from eir slides, now projected onto the screen. “Naomi’s plan to fuck with Blaze,” ey started, and before ey knew it, it was over.

And ey hadn’t fucked up too badly!

The second the crowd applauded and Dr. Plague took over the speech giving, Naomi ran off the stage and into Lani. “You did great!” she cheered. Before Naomi quite knew what was happening, Lani was grabbing eir hand and pressing a kiss to eir knuckles. It was unclear what exactly came out of eir mouth. Some verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash?

“That was terrifying,” ey gasped, once eir brain resumed functioning.

“But you did it.”

The tension seeped out of our shoulders. “I did it,” Naomi agreed.

They stood in comfortable silence as students began filing out of the auditorium. Noel and Cameron both high-fived Naomi once they reached em.

“You inspired me so much,” Cameron said, wiping away a fake tear. “I’m so motivated to fuck shit up.”

“Please, you’ve probably been motivated to fuck shit up since the moment you were born,” said Noel.

Naomi shrugged. “He’s got a point. Now, I am starving, so how about we go get some lunch?”

“I hear we’re having bagels today,” Lani said, and before she even finished, Naomi was sprinting to the cafeteria with speed ey didn’t know ey possessed. When the others got to their table, all regarded Naomi wearily.

“I think you’re going to make yourself sick,” Lani said finally.

Through a mouthful of bagel, Naomi declared “Worth it.”

She rolled her eyes, looking fondly exasperated, and twisted her hands together. “What would you think if I signed up to volunteer for Blaze?”

Naomi nearly choked on the bagel. After coughing a few times, ey exclaimed “You can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

Well, you see, it’s because you’d probably notice Blaze’s uncanny resemblance to me and connect the dots and then I would get expelled. But ey couldn’t exactly say that, so ey opted for “You might get caught.”

“It’s a good plan, Naomi, I won’t get caught. Plus, I can turn invisible, which is a major benefit if I want to sneak through his paperwork or something.”

“Yeah, but…” Ey flicked away a strand of hair. “I’m just overly paranoid, I guess. I’m your maybe-girlfriend and it’s my job to worry about you.” The thrill from the words almost silenced the anxiety bouncing around em.

Lani smiled. “I’ll be okay.”

And ey couldn’t exactly argue this more without giving away what ey was worried about being revealed in the first place, so ey just nodded and regarded eir plate. The knots in eir stomach made the bagel suddenly seem less appealing. All Naomi could do was brace emself for the inevitable shitstorm.