#i can't wait to buy a new laptop at the end of the year

[dameronology]

we can't be friends (steve rogers)

summary: based on we can't be friends by ariana grande

warnings: angst, swearing

sorry for being absent for six months. even more sorry that this is what i came back with. enjoy!

Being loved by Steve Rogers was like sunlight on a stormy day. Peaking through the clouds, encouraging you to come out of whatever shelter you'd chosen; letting you smell the fresh rain on the pavement as the light finally came through, taking back the water until next time. It was warm on your skin, right through to your bones and your heart and to your very soul. You could have basked in it forever.

The mornings were your favourite, waking up to golden alabaster skin, carved into his muscles. They were slightly scarred, with jagged pink marks of stab wounds and bullet skims and far too many near misses for you to be comfortable. Of course, he healed faster than most but when you were as trigger happy as Steve Rogers was, barely a mission went by when he didn't come home with some minor wound or another. Still, him being there was the most important part. He'd let out a sleepy little yawn and subconsciously roll over to hold you, taking him in his arms and pulling you to his chest. That was where you felt safest.

No matter how busy he was or how demanding work became, Steve always showed up. Flowers waiting for you on the counter after a bad day; ordering take out when you were ill and always making sure your favourite show was recorded on the DVR. You never even had to ask. He'd buy you new roses before your old ones had even began to wilt; had your busiest work days recorded in your phone calendar so that he could step up, even when his own job was pulling him across the country. That was the thing about Steve Rogers: he always showed up.

Until he didn't.

Being loved by Steve Rogers was like sunlight on a rainy day, but waiting for him to love you back was a never-ending storm. Rain pelting down, hammering onto your clothes and seeping through to your skin and your bones and eventually drowning your heart. There was no dry escape. No shelter to hide from the rain. You always felt it - the wet, the cold, the shivering - no matter how hard you tried to escape. There was no getaway from the realisation that he no longer loved you back, or from the 19 miscalled waiting on his phone, or from the dead roses wilted on your kitchen windowsill.

Long conversations about your future had turned into silent, screaming pauses. The arguments felt pointless. You could only beat a dead horse so many times before you realised it wasn't coming back to life.

You sat on opposite ends of the sofa now. Slept on different sides of the bed. Watched your favourite show in silence whilst he tapped away at his laptop, barely even bothered by your presence. He'd sat too a high standard for himself. It was one he couldn't keep, but even the bare minimum was a golden standard compared to what he was giving you these days.

"I'm done."

You'd surprised yourself more than anyone with the words. Steve had come home from work late again. The fourth time that week, twelfth time that month and countless times overall. You'd made dinner. It was cold now, like the stony expression on his face and the watery one on yours.

"What?"

Steve glanced up from his phone, brow furrowed.

"I'm done," you said.

"With what?"

You sighed deeply, regathering yourself for a moment. Pushed down the lump in your throat, shoulders raised to try and show whatever tatters of your pride you had left.

"I'm leaving you," you said. "I can't...I don't want to sit around and wait for you to love me again."

Steve put his phone down, pausing for a moment. It looked like he was going to say something...maybe anything. Even though your mind was made up, part of you wanted him to beg. To get on his knees, take your hands and plead for your heart back. God knows that this time a year ago, he would have pleaded with you in person and with writing in the sky.

Instead, he just sniffed.

He sniffed, and you left. Keys to your shared apartment thrown into the dish on the side, never to be taken again. At least the Lego heart keys chain you had together would be together again - you know, when he was actually home.

Whatever time you had previously put into your relationship, you now put into yourself. Found a nice little loft on the other side of the river - it felt like the wrong side, but everything felt wrong without him - and decorated it with everything but photos of you together. There was a nice rug, and a beautiful sofa, and your marble counters were a nice welcome home.

Still, the bed felt cold. Not as cold as it had when he'd lovelessly laid beside you, but still. Cold. It felt strange only having one tooth brush in the holder, and only one bottle of shower gel on the edge of your bath. The toilet seat was always down now (Steve had had only one flaw, and that was it) and you always tripped over the shoes that you left by the door because he no longer tidied them away.

It felt like half your heart was missing, but eventually it grew back.

You forgot about Steve, and the Avengers, and that entire world until Natasha Romanoff texted you. It had been six months since your break-up by that point, and even though you missed them all dearly, it had been natural for Steve to get them in the break-up. You had your friends. He had his. But, it was nice that Natasha still thought of you.

Hey, hope you're doing well. I'm having my birthday party next week at my apartment. 7pm, same building as always. It would be nice if you came. Steve may or may not be but he's been annoying lately so I'd rather have you. Let me know <3

At first, it had been an immediate no. Then you thought about it some more, and it was a definitive no. Then, you found yourself calling Nat and talking for three hours straight.

Apparently Morgan was in her One Direction era, and had thrown an hour long tantrum when she found out they weren't together anymore. Pepper and Tony had tried to pay for a reunion, but they weren't interested. Bruce was doing an assignment in France and Clint and his family had moved a little closer to the city. Sam and Bucky were still working for the government and naturally, that had brought Natasha onto the subject of Steve.

Doing better. That's what she said. Apparently he wasn't working as late anymore and he'd cut down his hours. He was going to therapy, drinking less and working out more. She'd lingered on the last sentence, but ended it with he's more like your Steve again.

That made you want to go to the party even less, and yet the following weekend you found yourself stood outside Natasha's high-rise apartment building at 7:35PM. You'd put more effort into your appearance than usual; a more expensive fragrance, spent a little longer on your hair and worn the outfit Steve had always thought you looked best in. Maybe it was a calculated move, but you'd never been all that good at maths.

Your entrance was met with four or five hugs. Natasha looked amazing as ever, and Bucky was brighter now. Tony was elated to see you and you didn't ask about Pepper's little baby bump, but you could see it was there. Your mind was kept too occupied by all them to even think about Steve.

That - naturally - all came crashing down when you saw him across the room. He was leant against a pillar, hair longer now but fluffed up and a 5 o'clock shadow gathered on his chin. Not like the man with long hair and a beard that you'd left, but not quite the squeaky clean looking Steve you'd fallen in love with either. Still though, it was closer. He was showing through the cracks.

The question of whether or not you would approach him answered itself, because you blinked and suddenly he was stood in front of you.

"I owe you an apology."

Straight to the fucking chase.

You faltered slightly, but didn't let it show. "Yeah, I think you do."

Steve glanced around you at all your friends - naturally, they were all staring at you. They might have been superheroes but that didn't stop them being nosey fuckers.

"Let's go to the roof," he said. "I mean...if you want. You don't owe me anything."

You nodded your head. "Let's go to the roof."

The climb up the stairs to Natasha's terrace was awkward, but not as bad as the silence that quickly filled the cold air as soon as you got up there. Steve might have been one of the bravest men you'd ever met, but vulnerability scared the shit out of him. You suspected that was the case now.

"So?" you asked. "What could you possibly have to say?"

"I'll only say that I'm sorry once," Steve began. "So: I'm sorry. For pushing you out, for not trying, for letting work consume me. Even more for the fact I didn't even try to stop you leaving, because as soon as you shut the door, all I wanted to do was run after you, but I'm not stupid. I knew your mind was made up."

"Where are you going with this?"

"You leaving was like a bucket of cold water," he continued. "It made me realise a lot of things - about how much I'd left myself go, mostly. I've stopped drinking and started going to therapy, and I have my work hours capped."

You smiled. "Well done, Steve. That's really great."

"I'm better now. Not fully, but...I'm getting there," Steve replied. "I asked Natasha to invite you tonight. She wanted to anyways but it was sort of my idea."

"Why?"

"So I could apologise, but mostly because I want you back in my life," he explained. "As friends, as something more. Hell, I'll take you as my enemy if it means I get to see you again."

You sighed, eyes falling to the ground. What could you even say to that? Enemies sounded pretty good - and definitely well deserved - but you didn't hate Steve. You'd moved on, but that didn't mean you'd lost all capability to love him.

"How do I know you won't do it again?" you asked.

"You don't," he replied. "I don't know that either, but what if it doesn't happen again? What if...what if things were really good?"

You glanced away, eyes staring at the distant Manhattan skyline for a moment. It glittered and glimmered, mostly rebuilt after the 2012 incident. You could see Stark Tower as well. Steve had told you he loved you for the first time on that roof top. Now, here he was, begging for you back on another.

"Friends," you muttered. "We can be friends. I don't know after that. I've waited six fucking months for you to decide that you love me again-"

" - I never stopped -"

" - not the point, Steve!" you cut him off. "We'll start with friends, then go from there."

"I'll wait ten years if I have to," he said. His smile suggested he was joking, but you knew he wasn't.

With that, Steve pulled you into a hug. In your soul, you knew you couldn't be friends. Enemies was worst but strangers was horrible too. The answer was inevitable, but you just had to make him wait a little while.

maybe a part 2?

[ms-demeanor]

Since some people might want a Mac, I'll offer a Mac equivalent of your laptop guide from the perspective of a Mac/Linux person.

Even the cheapest Macs cost more than Windows laptops, but part of that is Apple not making anything for the low end of the tech spectrum. There is no equivalent Mac to an Intel i3 with 4 gigabytes of RAM. This makes it a lot easier to find the laptop you need.

That said, it is possible to buy the wrong Mac for you, and the wrong Mac for you is the 13-inch MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Get literally anything else. If it has an M2 chip in it, it's the most recent model and will serve you well for several years. Any new MacBook Air is a good pick.

(You could wait for new Macs with M3, but I wouldn't bother. If you are reading these guides the M3 isn't going to do anything you need done that a M2 couldn't.)

Macs now have integrated storage and memory, so you should be aware that whatever internal storage and RAM you get, you'll be stuck with. But if you would be willing to get a 256 gig SSD in a Windows laptop, the Mac laptop with 256 gigs of storage will be just as good, and if you'd be willing to get 8 gigs of RAM in a Windows laptop the Mac will perform slightly better with the same amount of memory.

Buy a small external hard drive and hook it up so Time Machine can make daily backups of your laptop. Turn on iCloud Drive so your documents are available anywhere you can use a web browser. And get AppleCare because it will almost certainly be a waste of money but wooooooow will you be glad it's there if you need it.

I get that you are trying to help and I am not trying to be mean to you specifically, but people shouldn't buy apple computers. That's why I didn't provide specs for them. Apple is a company that is absolutely terrible to its customers and its customers deserve better than what apple is willing to offer.

Apple charges $800 to upgrade the onboard storage from a 256GB SSD to a 2TB SSD.

A 2TB SSD costs between $75-100.

I maintain that any company that would charge you more than half the cost of a new device to install a $100 part on day one is a company making the wrong computer for you.

The point of being willing to tolerate a 256GB SSD or 8GB RAM in a Windows laptop is that you're deferring some of the cost to save money at the time of purchase so that you can spend a little bit in three years instead of having to replace the entire computer. Because, you see, many people cannot afford to pay $1000 for a computer and need to buy a computer that costs $650 and will add $200 worth of hardware at a later date.

My minimum specs recommendations for a mac would be to configure one with the max possible RAM and SSD, look at the cost, and choose to go buy three i7 windows laptops with the same storage and RAM for less than the sticker price of the macs.

So let's say you want to get a 14" Macbook pro with the lowest-level processor. That's $2000. Now let's bump that from 16GB RAM and a 512GB SSD to 32GB and 2TB. That gets you to $3000. (The SSD is $200 less than on the lower model, and they'll let you put in an 8TB SSD for $1800 on this model; that's not available on the 13" because apple's product development team is entirely staffed by assholes who think you deserve a shitty computer if you can't afford to pay the cost of two 1991 Jeep Cherokee Laredos for a single laptop).

For $3000 you can get 3 Lenovo Workstation laptops with i7 processors, 32GB RAM, and a 2TB SSD.

And look, for just $200 more I could go up to 48GB RAM and get a 4TB SSD - it costs $600 to upgrade the 14" mac from a 2TB SSD to a 4TB SSD so you could still get three laptops with more ram and the same amount of storage for the cost of one macbook.

I get that some people need to use Final Cut and Logic Pro, but hoo boy they sure are charging you through the nose to use products that have become industry standard. The words "capture" and "monopoly" come to mind even though they don't quite apply here.

"Hostile" does, though, especially since Mac users end up locked into the ecosystem through software and cloud services and become uncertain how to leave it behind if they ever decide that a computer should cost less than a month's rent on a shitty studio apartment in LA.

There's a very good reason I didn't give mac advice and that's because my mac advice is "DON'T."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for refusing to help my friend out financially after they got a new dog even though they need financial help often and are currently in debt?

Everyone is this story is mid to late 20s.

I have a friend in America who is on social benefits. So I know they don't have a lot of money. I'm also not rich but I earn minimum wage in my country and can afford to pitch in a little sometimes which I don't mind doing generally. I'm also not a big spender at all and I'm able to save up something every month.

In the past I've helped them with buying groceries and even gave them some so they could buy a laptop for art commissions and some games. I don't mind doing that at all. When their old dog got sick I helped out as well. Since I figure some people are going to want to know, in the last 5 years I have given maybe about 2000 dollars.

They got a new dog after the old one passed, which I get. A dog can be a good companion. I did find it a little irresponsible to get a new puppy when they at the time needed several hundred dollars for rent. I told them it might be better to wait until they where no longer in debt with their landlord before getting a new dog. They told me they understood my concern but they got the puppy for free from a friend so it would not be a big deal and they would be able to feed the puppy.

I did tell them puppies can get sick and end up costing a lot more than anticipated but they told me they were willing to take that risk and I decided to not push any further. I had given my opinion and there is not much else I can do. I did tell them not to count on my help financially especially since I had some things of my own that needed fixing and they told me they understood and not to worry.

But then a few weeks later the puppy ate their medicinal weed, which for some reason was within reach of a puppy, and had to get it's stomach pumped and stay overnight at the vet clinic for a few nights.

They came to me and asked if I could help out with the bill and how they would pay me back in part. The bill was over 4000 dollars. I told them sorry but no I can't. First of all, I don't even have that much, I'd have to take out a loan. Second, I warned them this could happen and that I would not be able to help out financially. They seemed a little pissed at that but I just thought it was because of the stress of the situation. They said they would try and get the funds elsewhere and asked me to share it around, which I did.

Unfortunately they didn't manage to get enough to pay the vet and ended up having to give the puppy to a shelter. It's a cute and calm pup so I have no doubt it will be adopted out quickly but it's still sad and I do feel for my friend. But now I'm being blamed for it. I've been getting several angry messages from mutual friends about how I'm the reason my friend lost their emotional support and how I'm the reason they are having a breakdown and suicidal thoughts.

I feel really badly for my friend but I also don't think it's fair to put the blame on me. The reaction from my online friend group makes me feel like I'm missing something that does make me the asshole.

[nnight-dances]

SWEET BOY

PAIRING: lee seokmin x f!reader (ft. choi vernon)

GENRE: fluff, angst

TROPES: older brother figure to lover, childhood friends to lovers, coworkers to lovers, jealousy, skinship, dk being a blushy idiot and you being a plain idiot.

lines are funny when it comes to your life. lines drawn from one point to another, lines forced to keep your work life and your personal life, but most important the big daunting line between you and your crush of nearly two years now, dokyeom. 

it's funny, it really is, given how much time you've spent riling yourself up over him, telling yourself that he should retain the role he always had in your life: the older brother figure. because dokyeom's heart-warmingly kind, no even more so– blood-curdingly kind, painfully nice to everyone he meets, patient beyond imagination. he's worse than any nice guys you've met, simply because he fits the archetype too well to be real. 

"don't you get tired?" you ask him, when he shows up at your door, clutching bags of take-out food, no doubt after hearing from your mom how you haven't had a chance to eat. yet, you'd emphasized to her after you'd made the mistake of letting her know you were too busy to cook. 

"shouldn't i be asking you that?" dokyeom grunts as he lets himself into your house, familiar with the place like the back of his hand. "i know mr. ko called you in and gave you an earful for missing the last deadline, but that's no excuse to skip meals."

okay, worth mentioning is the fact that while you knew dokyeom since childhood thanks to the fact that you grew up in the same household, you'd also ended up moving to the city to sign a contract with the publishing company where he worked at, as an editor. it was half a coincidence, because you can't say you sought out the company simply on its merits. 

you sigh as you stretch out a crick in your neck, "i'm not doing this because mr. ko told me to. i'm fine, i'm just trying to clear up my schedule before the end of the year. god knows i don't want to be working on new year's eve."

"and you won't," dokyeom takes off his coat, revealing a light blue sweater underneath, one that you've grown fond of. it's a sweet sweater, for a sweet man. 

"well, thanks, anyway. for the food. sorry if my mom pestered you into doing this."

"i don't want to hear a word out of you till you've eaten."

you obey him silently, taking out the lukewarm bánh mì from its bag and starting to eat. dokyeom watches with a slight smile, noting how your hair was in a ponytail, a rare occurrence. just another indication that you were forcing yourself to work too hard. 

"what am i going to with you…" he muses to himself, slowly tidying up the mess on your writing corner. the little wooden table you'd spent hours studying and testing before buying, is crowded with stationery and a few notebooks. your laptop sits blank, screen indicating that it was close to dying. dokyeom brushes off the stray balls of napkins off and into the small trashcan next to the chair, followed by all the tiny eraser dust particles. he's just plugged in your laptop when he hears you call out his name softly. 

"hmm?" he calls back. "you want some coffee?" you ask and when dokyeom arches a brow at you, you wave your empty hands, "i'm done eating! can a girl not want a warm liquid post-meal?"

"fine, fine. i'll have some, thanks." he laughs as you glare at him, mumbling incoherencies about him. 

"oh, right, i almost forgot to tell you," dokyeom pulls out his phone, ten minutes later when the two of you are settled on the couch, waiting for your steaming mugs to settle down a little. "there's a department-wide party this sunday, an end of year gathering or something. you should come, i hear the budget this year's crazy. it's at a fancy hotel and everything."

you narrow your eyes at dokyeom, "i don't know about that. work parties are a slog, dude. i can't stand to get drunk with the people who literally torture the creativity out of me."

"that's harsh, y/n. and an exaggeration."

"whatever…" you fiddle with the sleeves of your sweatshirt, "i… i don't even have a date. it's kind of a short notice to find someone anyway–"

"i'll be your date," dokyeom offers, faster than either of you could comprehend his response. his ears flush, "um, i mean, i'll go with you, if you don't… mind."

"why would i mind? i just thought you'd have someone to go with already," you say and when you catch the shy look on your friend's face, "unless of course, nobody's asked you. which i totally understand."

"hey! i don't want to take names but i've had to tell some people no already. so don't–"

"oh? so you rejected the people who did ask you? i thought you were too nice to do that. "

"yeah, i did. i didn't want to go with them. i don't know them well enough to guarantee they'll be fun for the entire night. plus, it's messy going with someone from work. you agree once, who's to say they'll keep asking you for life?"

"i'm someone from work, too," you point out, averting your gaze to the coffee, watching the evaporation swirl around. 

"you're different, silly," dokyeom chuckles out, arm hitting yours, "we're already messy. i knew you before work, and i'll know you long after. we're more than that, you know?"

that? whatever he meant, you find your heart soaring ever so much, "hm, i suppose you're not wrong. fine, i'll come to the party." if it's with you. 

that night you find yourself obsessing over this conversation. what did dk mean we're already messy? you were messy? you knew he didn't mean that like a bad thing but the word unsettled you anyway. your feelings for him only made it harder to listen to him objectively, especially when he says stuff like we're more than that. more than what, exactly?

– 

dokyeom's having a hell of a day, carrying around a headache he's had since this morning and a heavy to-do list that doesn't seem to be going anywhere despite the fact that he's been at his desk for about five hours now. he sits back with a grunt, taking his eyes off his screen for a moment to take a break. 

as soon as he tunes back into the physical world around him, he overhears his coworkers chatting near his desk, instant coffeee in hand. 

"yo, you're kidding! how'd you get her number finally?" ren, a newbie, elbows the man next to him. vernon, the man in question, is grinning too wide for his own good. 

"i just asked her for it. i told her i had some important doubts about her new manuscript."

"that didn't annoy her?"

"nah, y/n's chill like that. she was super nice about it, too, telling me she would love to hear from me."

ren gasps dramatically, "no way, do you think she–"

dokyeom clears his throat with a start, having had enough as an eavesdropper for the day. he stands up, making eye-contact with vernon who shoots him a nonchalant smile. it pisses dokyeom off, how wasn't he bothered? 

his headache's only getting worse so he decides to get himself something to eat while he's at it. some fresh air might help him. he shoots the pair a stiff smile as he leaves the office, hand clutching his phone a little too hard. as he gets into the elevator, he's alerted of a message.

speak of the devil, he thinks when your name pops up on his screen. am i expected to dress formal for this party? you ask. 

only if u want to :) he shoots back.

… what kind of an answer is that. 

an honest one. expectations are only as high as you want them to be.

you know i hate you right 

enough to ask me to be ur date? <3 <3 

you're befuddled on the other side of the chat, "who asked who?" you mumble, choosing to not respond to dokyeom's frustrating reply to your very genuine question. 

dokyeom, on the other hand, is feeling much better now that he's had a chance to talk to you. where you're reserved about your feelings for him, dokyeom really couldn't be more transparent about them. or so he thinks. but really, he's convinced he couldn't be clearer about how he feels about you– instantaneous responses to your texts, making sure you eat on time, corresponding with your mom to reassure her of your good health, careful attention to what you're into at the time so he can buy you the things you refuse to splurge on. 

to dokyeom, this was the clearest confession of his love for you. the only reason he hasn't vocalized it in person is because he doubts any good would come out of it. he's more than happy with the relationship he has with you, a safe enough distance but a warm closeness anyway. besides, he's pretty certain you think of him as more of a brother than anything. an older brother figure you've known since you were children. better to keep things the way they were. right?

– 

dokyeom's increasily unsure about his convictions to keep things the same. maybe it had something to do with the fact that you look breathtaking tonight. you're adorned in the prettiest pink dress, eyes sparkling more than usual thanks to the glitter you'd dabbed on and hair cascading down to your shoulders in curls that has him a little weak in the knees.

he does visibly gape at you when you greet him at the door with a small smile. he's flustered enough to be out of words so you're left speaking to a shell of him. "hey, you're a little earlier than i imagined. i'm almost ready. come in though." 

when he stands still despite your invitation, you frown. "dokyeom?" he bites his lip as he comes to and nods, walking in after you. "you good?"

"yeah, just a little nervous."

"nervous?" 

"you look really pretty," he musters, reddening when your eyes widen at his honest confession, "i'm a little dizzy." the two statements are correlated but you don't pick up on that, instead becomes concerned. you take his arm and your cold touch on his arm only sends him further down his dazed condition.

"dizzy? that's no good. come sit," you pull him to the couch, making him take a seat. god, dokyeom thinks he's dreaming when you touch his cheek, "do you need medicine? warm tea? water?"

he clears his throat, "n-no, i'm fine," he lets himself fall against the cushions, closing his eyes against the rush in his veins. "just– you should go get ready. i'll be back to normal soon."

you look at him in confusion for a prolonged few seconds before giving up and doing as he said. when you come back, you have a lip gloss and heels on. "okay," you announce to the back of dokyeom's head, "i'm ready, dk."

he sits up quickly, head clearing up now. he turns around to you and smiles a cheerful smile that is much more like him. "alright! let's go!" 

you watch him warily anyway, all the way to his car. "ah, your hair–" you reach out to the back of his head where some hair stuck out from his earlier meltdown. gently, you brush the disturbances away, fingers swift in their adminstrations. dokyeom thinks he might break down again, the gesture making him feel giddy all over again. it doesn't help when he feels your warm breath on his neck when you sigh, returning to your seat. "ok, no more hair casualities, we are set to go."

dokyeom can't afford to look up at you so he simply starts the car, keeping his head straight so he can drive the both of you to the venue safely. 

being in a room bustling with people he knows really helps dokyeom, for as soon as you reach the hall, he takes off in a rush, something about having to greet everyone that's important. you don't know to feel about his flight but you manage to shrug it off, trusting him enough to know he'll be back before long. 

you station yourself near the refreshments, finding yourself a flute of champagne and some hors d'oeuvres to keep you company while dokyeom does what he does. you find yourself mildly enjoying yourself, people-watching all sorts of groups and downing your second serving of champagne, when you're joined by someone. 

it's kitty, a coworker you're less than fond of, thanks to her loud mouth and overwhelming beauty. she's dressed in an immaculate white dress, face glowing even in the harsh light as she smiles at you. "y/n!"

"kitty," you acknowledge her with a cordial nod of your own, hoping this wouldn't take too long.

"how've you been? you look much better than the last time i saw, so not too bad i hope!"

your smile sours, "i'm fine, kitty. nice to see you're feeling as chatty as usual." 

"i am! what better ocassion than a party to be social," she remarks pointedly and you contain a sigh. kitty was an important coworker, unfortunately for you, with her in charge for your public image and general likeability. it really should be criminal how little she likes you for someone who has to make sure you appeal to the masses. 

"i didn't even think i'd see you around. you have a date?"

"i'm here with dokyeom, yeah." 

this seems to startle kitty, because she's speechless for a moment. "dokyeom? he said yes to you?"

ignoring whatever undertones of disbelief kitty's giving off, you roll your eyes, "it was more that he forced me to come with him, but yeah, sure, however you wanna say it." 

"wow, dokyeom's really kind to do that. he even turned me down. he must really treasure your friendship."

now you've had enough of her insinuations, so you cut the chat short. "sorry, kitty, i need to use the bathroom. excuse me." 

you break away from her, feeling the weight of her glare at your aloofness. you really don't care for her snarky remarks usual, long-accustomed to the kind of gossip she likes to generate. but tonight, your tolerance was low. you didn't want to think about why dokyeom asked you to come to the party, and you certainly didn't want kitty's suggestions marinate in your mind. but it's too late, you feel your chest tighten at the thought of dokyeom feeling pity for you, asking you to come because that's just how kind he was, and you, his best charity case. 

dokyeom spots you from across the room where he's eventually recovered from his weak condition. he feels guilt spike through his veins when he sees you storm away from kitty, who's no doubt spewed some obnoxious nonsense to make you leave the room with that tense expression of yours.

he excuses himself from his conversation to run off after you, managing to catch you as you leave the hall. 

"y/n!" he calls out, catching ahold of your shoulder. "where are you going?" 

you stop, startled by dokyeom's interception. you slowly turn around, trying your best to neutralize your expression. "um, just using the bathroom. i drank that champagne a little too fast." 

"oh, you sure you're okay? i saw you talking to kitty earlier and i know how frustrating she can be."

you laugh mirthlessly, "i'll be okay as long as i don't run into her in the next five months or so." you turn away, presumably toward the washroom. you'd hoped your explanation would be enough to soothe dokyeom's curiosity but then you hear him follow after you. 

"dk?"

"i'll go with you."

"to the washroom?" 

"uh, yeah. i'll walk you in case you can't find your way back."

"they have signs everywhere and the party's in the biggest hall here– i– whatever, i need to pee too bad to argue with you right now." 

from thereon, dokyeom doesn't leave your side for a second. you don't know what to think of it but you don't complain because your mood's much better when you spend your time by his side, shitting on the ocassional passerby and laughing at each other's jokes. 

dokyeom regrets leaving you by yourself in the first place, especially because he's almost too certain that kitty had told you he'd turned her invitation down. it was awkward to even look at her, let alone talk to her. but then again, she's never been one to care about other people's comfort because about halfway into the night, you spot her trailing back to your table with a few people following her. 

the group crowds your table and you find yourself pressed against a stranger who no doubt works with kitty. he shoots you a sleazy smile and you're grateful when you feel dokyeom subtly pull you closer toward him with a hand around your waist. what you don't expect is him to leave him arm there, draped down your back, finger resting against the small of lower back, sending chills up your spine.

"hey, you two! what're you upto, you've been stuck to this table for the entire night," kitty laughs. 

dokyeom notices vernon among the group, much to his chagrin, smiling at you boyishly. you wave back at vernon with a soft chuckle, thankful that not everyone in this crowd was a snoozefest. 

"just talking," is dokyeom's curt response. "are y'all enjoying the party?" he adresses the larger group, making it a point to not look at kitty. 

"i wish there was more real food," someones pipes in with a grunt and people laugh in agreement. 

"the wine's really good though. expensive stuff," vernon points out, looking at the wine glass propped between you and dokyeom. 

"yeah, it's maybe the best thing about this party," you chime in with a smile. before dokyeom can somehow bring up the fact that he'd been drinking out of the same glass as you, ren gasps out loud, "oh my god, guys, the mistletoe man's back!"

you look around in confusion and find a man dressed in green overalls walking around with some mistletoe stuck his chest, neatly tied with a red ribbon stuck to his chest. "the fuck?" you mumble out and dokyeom laughs at your bewilderment. "it's a stupid tradition," dokyeom says softly to you, "heard someone say it's to foster closer connections between workers."

"by forcing them to kiss?" you whisper back with a grimace as you watch a pair break away from their kiss with bitter expressions. it's fine though because they look at each other's disgust and break into laughter, their table cheering them on. 

"i think it's cute!" kitty remarks, watching the man as he turns around from a few tables over.

"shit, i think he's coming over here," ren curses. "why's that a bad thing?" kitty questions, smiling, eyes glued to the side of dokyeom's face. you might gouge your eyes out one of these days. you're too busy ignoring the ruckus kitty's causing with her frantic giggles as the mistetoe man approaches her. but then he goes past her and she goes silent, eyes coming to still behind you. that's when you realize the mistletoe man's standing square between you and dokyeom. 

you turn around to the man with wide eyes but he simply smiles, "the mistletoe man knows when he sees two lovers!" you don't know what he means till you become aware of dokyeom's arm around you. he pulls away in surprise and his face is red when you look up at dokyeom. 

"this is stupid," you murmur, hoping he'll agree and you wouldn't have to participate in this tradition.

"kiss! kiss! kiss!" ren starts a chant and everyone but kitty and vernon is quick to join in. dokyeom looks bewildered at the unison, and he looks at you, then down at your lips. "we don't have to do this," he comforts you.

"do you want to?" you ask him under your breath. you feel yourself flushing. 

"i'll do it if you want to."

you hate how agreeable dokyeom is sometimes, wishing he would decide for you, for this once. you don't want to think about all the eyes on you, the whispering that's no doubt been reignited. everyone knows you and dokyeom have been friends and maybe something more for years now, but to witness conclusive proof is thrilling to them. 

you feel frozen with the weight of the decision upon you. but then kitty opens her stupid mouth, "ah, dokyeomie, you don't have to do something you don't want to–" 

that spurs you on, you find yourself pressing yourself against dokyeom, raising yourself to his height so you can press your lips to his. he meets you halfway, as if he'd been waiting for you to do exactly this, his large hand finding your cheek so he can seal the deal. 

this goes without saying, you've never kissed dokyeom before, but the way it feels so natural has you questioning if this really was the first time. his lips are pillowy against yourself, his breath hitting your face sweetly when you finally pull away. his eyes are hooded like you've never seen them and you really wish you could memorize this feeling, ingrain it into your mind for later. 

but the moment breaks when you hear the table around you erupt with all kinds of reactions. you don't care to look though, too busy with your own reaction to handle. your heart's fluttering but your eyes feel watery when you pull away from dokyeom. you don't know what to think of all the lines you've been worrying about, the line between you and dokyeom cracking the moment you leaned into his lips. 

–

dokyeom's scared for his life right now. after the chaos around you settled a little, you'd looked at him and quietly asked if he could drive you home right now. he'd been quick to agree, following you out of the door without bidding anyone goodbye. but you're silent the entire walk to his car, not answering him when he asks if you're okay. 

now that you're settled in the car, he pauses before starting the engine. "y/n," he starts softly. you focus on your breathing, staring down at your hands blankly. "i'm sorry."

this makes you look up at him, mouth slightly ajar. "...why are you sorry?" you ask quietly, lips set in a narrow line.

"i– that must have made you uncomfortable. i didn't know what else to–"

"i was the one who kissed you," you comment, looking away and out the window, hands now fists in your lap. dokyeom watches as you tuck some stray strands of hair behind your ear, "i should be sorry."

should be, because you weren't a bit sorry about the kiss. the circumstances that caused it? sure. but the kiss itself wasn't something you would undo. 

dokyeom doesn't know what to say because there's so much to say. where does he even start? "i thought you always saw me as a… brother." 

"what?" your eyes hold a sea of disbelief in them but then as you blink back at a solemn dokyeom, you think it's not that crazy for him to think that after all. "well, i used to. how could i not? mom had drilled it into my system to rely on you like you were family."

dokyeom hums, "...and?"

"i mean, i clearly don't think… i don't have the feelings of a sister toward you," you mumble, your cheeks on fire when you hear your poor phrasing. "if i did, it would be a problem that i wanted to kiss back there."

"you did?" dokyeom gapes and you look at him with a slight tilt of your head. "i– obviously!" you tell him. 

he swallows, "wow. i don't even know what to think–" it's his turn to look at his hands that are trembling, "honest to god, i've never harboured anything but romantic feelings for you, y/n." he says this, head lowered as if in shame, ears revealing how embarassed he was. "i love your mother, but i swear she wanted to kill me the way she encouraged you to call me your brother when you were out with me." 

you grimace, holding back a chuckle, "i'm sorry…" 

"don't be," dokyeom sounds truly defeated, as if the work of hiding his feelings from you had finally caught up with him. "i'm sorry i didn't make myself clearer sooner. never imagined we'd talk about this because we got bullied into our first kiss."

you sigh, nodding as you mutter an agreement. dokyeom rises from his slouch slowly, coming to lock eyes with you. one of his hands comes to rest atop your own fist, prying it open so that you were holding his. you feel warm beyond imagination, feeling like you might burst open with the intensity of your feelings for dokyeom, wondering how you'd ever managed to keep them secret. 

"can…" you stop, voice hoarse, licking your lips nervously, "will you kiss me? for real this time?"

it doesn't take dokyeom a moment's hesitation to close the distance betwen you, his soft lips back on yours, not soon enough for you to get used to the gentle saccharine daze that overcame you. your unoccupied hand card through his hair, similar to a few hours ago when you'd been fixing it, but this time dokyeom lets out the mewl he'd been contatining last time.

he pulls away with a somewhat grunt, eyes starry, "there's no way you didn't know what your were doing." you look back at him, a little breathless with a look of complete confusion. 

he sighs, giving in and rest his head against yours, "when you were fixing my hair earlier, i thought i'd die of a heart attack. finally give up and move on from you, if only in death."

"don't say that, dk," you scold him, hands around him in concern, "and i don't understand why– i mean i feel like we've touched… in other ways before so–"

"i don't know either!" he exclaims, "i just– you looked so fucking gorgeous tonight and then you kept being oblivious to how obviously down bad i am for you– i just couldn't."

"hey, you weren't obvious if i didn't know! that's unfair…" you mumble, looking away with flushed cheeks. it didn't make sense to you.  but dokyeom simply laughs into your shoulder, pulling you into a hug, not much of a change for your dynamic. you'd hugged dokyeom countless times before but now you feel unimaginably closer to him, like you were actually holding him, the entirety of him in your arms. it was incredible, the warmth that blossomed inside you in the silence that surrounded you. it was love.

love shows up even in the early mornings when you're with dokyeom. he'd slept over after your date last night, when you'd insisted you would be too lonely to sleep if he promptly took off (like a gentleman, he commented). you'd laid in bed till 2 am, kissing and talking the night away, his hands finding their indents underneath your worn-out tee. 

you wake up to his nose snuggled in your neck, breathing softly in slumber, hair sticking out every which way. you can't help the loving giggle that leaves you, making him stir in his sleep, arm coming to sit atop your bare stomach. 

"sweet boy," you mumble, placing a kiss atop his forehead and watching in awe as his brown eyes come to life at the action. "you awake?" you jokingly ask but dokyeom responds with a groggy grunt, smiling with fluttering eyes. 

you run a finger through his hair. he groans, "don't wake up yet." you laugh, stroking a strand behind his ear, "but i'm already–" 

he cuts you off with a pout, "no, don't wake up, love. please, want to sleep some more." 

you sigh and shift impossibly closer to him. "all right, then. can't argue with that logic." 

with that, you doze off again. how you manage to fall right back asleep is beyond you, though it might have something to do with the fact that dokyeom's presence brings you a serenity you didn't know you could feel, a feeling that's better than the soft comforter that he himself had picked out for your bed. his arms hold you close, the sweetness melting your heart the whole time you dream, dreaming of dokyeom and of love.

[thecameronchronicles]

Baby Daddy: Alimony

BABY DADDY Part 1!

TW: Toxic!Rafe. Smut. Language. Degrading language. Breeding kink. Dom!Rafe. Daddy kink. Choking kink. Blade play.

SUMMARY: You believe you've finally gotten a step ahead over your toxic baby daddy. Foolish you…

WORD COUNT: 3000

*REQUESTED*

Anonymous asked

could there be a part 2 to baby daddy w rafe? 

Alimony 

He always had a way of winning. Poker. Business. His way into your sheets yet again. At least he had until lately. Excuses and appointments on your end had allowed you the chance to form some sort of dominance over your toxic situationship. And somehow beyond worry and former threats, your heels came to a click through his office on your most recent expression of altered submission. 

"Excuse me, you can't go in there-" His assistant called from behind her desk, desperate for you to obey or risk his wrath. For a moment, you couldn't help but wonder if she had been a replacement to some complaint her predecessor made against Rafe for misconduct. 

"Just a piece of advice…he's not worth the expensive perfume…" You explained as she blushed, the clear unbuttoned decolletage set in such a way to garner his focus as her intentions had been spoiled. Too much in shock to your audacity, you were allowed into his meeting without any further protest. 

"If we focus only on the west-" His words ceased immediately once his eyes fell to you. If not for the look of pride across your face, he would have believed that something happened to your shared offspring. For the absence of this, he simply tightened his jaw to wait for the reason for your presence. 

For the years he had bombarded you and infiltrated your life, you finally had the chance to return the unpleasant favor. Without a second thought, you set down the collection of bills before him with a glare of challenge cast in his direction. 

"If you weren't so busy buying expensive and inappropriate dinners for new assistants you'd know that you're three months late in alimony. Money needed to take care of your son." You spat as he didn't wear an expression of embarrassment, maybe awe, even arousal, but you hadn't been allowed the reaction you sought out. Because of this, you continued. 

"A lifestyle you demand he has. A private school. Expensive clothes and toys he'd be fine without. But since you won't let me raise him modestly…you pay for these…things I could without you…but you won't let me." 

"Excuse me, but this isn't the time or place to exercise your hormonal-" You narrowed your eyes towards the man who spoke against you. One Rafe told you enough about to offer a stain against his reputation amongst fellow colleagues. 

"How's your wife?" He cleared his throat before fixing his tie. 

"What does-"

"Does she know you have a proclivity for your assistant? Your male assistant-"

"Enough. My office. Five minutes." Rafe apologized on your behalf as you left the bills at your back before moving to his office. 

Set at the rim of the desk, your palms rested on the wooden edge as you were left in wait. Pictures of your son lay in pride on his desk along with one of you and him closer to his closed laptop. You couldn't help but feel warmth when on observation of the simpler time. A time before you really knew him and the poor excuse he had for a heart. 

"I've ruined men's lives for less than what you did…" 

"I'm not afraid of you, Rafe. I am tired of all of this…You dictate every aspect of my life with our son even though I am the one with him day in and day out. All of his doctor's appointments. Teaching him to read. Playdates. Sick days. When he broke his wrist last summer from being at the park with the nanny YOU were too busy eye-fucking to to notice!" He clenched his arms, your eyes drawn to the strain of fabric caused by his muscles. 

"So you're mad because I showed interest in someone else?"

"Are you really THAT much of a narcissist? Your son got hurt because you were reckless and put him as anything but a priority!"

He took a step closer to you, the entire collection of oxygen around you seemingly thinned as he drew a finger to his bottom lip. The signet ring on that leading finger forcing your focus to his lips. Those damn lips that held talent no man should be able to possess. The same talent that made you forgive him so many times before. At least long enough to give you both an orgasm. 

"I wasn't "eye-fucking" her-"

"I don't care what you call it Rafe, he got hurt because you were-"

"I was trying not to fuck you in the middle of that park in that goddamn sundress you know makes me hard enough to split you in half." He explained behind clenched teeth.

 "Looking at her was the only thing that kept me from looking at you. The only person I'll ever eye-fuck Because nobody compares to you. No matter how many girls I've tried to test that theory on…" He was now only a foot or so in front of you. 

"I told you you ever needed anything, you just ask. But you made a scene…" His hand was suddenly in the back of your hair. 

"So now you're going to make sure they hear what happens when you rival me." You were taken against the desk, palms forced at the surface. 

"Don't hurt my reputation, baby…scream for me like you always do and I might just let you come…" His hands were feverish and gluttonous to a competitive degree. Harsh but through as he reached within your house and directly beneath your bra. It took only one repressed moan and shuddering breath before he smirked at your cheek. He knew you wanted him. And he was shameless to broadcast the same need to you. 

A single scoff felt at your back and he pulled the straps to your shirt downwards until exposing your bra to him. 

"Now you didn't come here in my favorite bra just to talk…" You hesitated, unaware you had subconsciously dressed in his favored piece of lingerie. When you didn't respond, he turned you to face him, a letter opener set as a threat to your jaw. The life suddenly behind his eyes was frightening as it was only born from your fear. And yet, you were aware he wouldn't bring true harm to you. Not anymore than what he'd already done, anyhow. Your thighs aching at the thought of that very thing. 

"Anyone else were to talk to me like that and they would…" He paused. "Let's just say he wouldn't find it as pleasurable as I could make it for you…"

"I didn't come here for-"

"If your panties match this bra then you came here for exactly this." But as his hand rode into your pants, a violent unbuttoning of the closure and you gasped to the feeling of his fingertips against your naked clit. Not an ounce of fabric separating you. 

"No panties?" He scoffed. "Making it a bit too easy for me, baby…" He lowered the edge of the blade to your chest, teasing your nipple with its cold tip. First the left. Then the right. Circling it until lowering still. In the meantime, your breathing was sporadic to the crusade as your body shifted in accordance to the cold edge making contact. 

"Maybe it wasn't for you." You shot, some random surge of courage allowing you to rival him. 

"Don't ever say that shit to me again. YOU are for me. You can try to fuck anyone else and I promise you'll always be left wanting me. You know why, baby?" He suddenly took hold of the middle section of your bra to pull you closer to him. A gasp leaving your lips as he set the edge of the potential weapon to the fabric. 

"Because you love this." He sliced the fabric, exposing your breasts that he was quick to apprehend. But the blade continued lower until it teased the line of your parted jeans. 

"I-"

"Guess I need to prove it." Lowering to his knees, he pulled your pants to your knees before drawing the blade at an angle so it didn't cut you. 

"One wrong move and you'll bleed for me…You know I don't mind ." His eyes flickered with mischief as you breathed sharply. The contact of the blade at your sex made you shift. 

"You ever let anyone know how sweet this is…" He explained while pulling the blade to his tongue, a single lick of your excess removed, and rolling his eyes to your familiar taste. 

"I'll fuck you with this very blade so you can only be with me." You tensed at the thought. It was a threat. Not some attempt to entice you with dirty words. And he meant it. Every ounce of predatory dominance was always exercised with that promise. But this was sharper. Deeper. A vow of sorts, spoke on his altar of domineering existence. 

"Every time I want to be sweet to you…you open that pretty little mouth and make me want to come in it instead…Making you cry and plead…But today, you made a fatal error, baby. And now you're gonna make it up to me." He rose back over you. 

"You know you belong on your knees here in my office."

"I'm not fucking you, Rafe." He smirked and nodded. 

"You're right. I'm fucking you-" Distracted by his words you were taken aback by the sudden lift of your leg over the desk and his cock penetrating you with a cruel eagerness. And yet, you cried out for him as you always had. Only to return to that familiar hesitance. 

"I don't want you on your knees looking up at me, because I always forgive you too quickly. I want you to earn it. For embarrassing me. So it's only fair I do the same to you." He was harsh with his focused touch, exercising your erogenous zones with fervor as you refrained from rewarding him with any sound. Instead, you held your breath to suppress those moans so desperate to be released. 

"You can try to fight it all you want, baby. But your body is telling me just how much you missed me. How sorry you are-'"

"I'm not-" He silenced you by turning you into his mouth. His left hand came around your cheek, pressing you deeper into him as his tongue wrapped around yours. 

"The more you fight it, the harder you're gonna come. You're edging yourself baby…doing my work for me…" He spoke against your lips as he continued to pump you against the desk. The gift of his successes shook before you until a specific statue came to the floor to break. He smirked, falling into the illusion of your submission as he loosened his grip on your hand. 

It was just the window needed as you pushed him away from you and took the letter opener in hand. 

"I'm not some toy to you anymore! You don't get to decide anything."

"You gonna stab me? Yeah?" He tried for you but you only cocked your jaw. 

"Knees, Rafe. " You surprised him. "Make me come on your desk like you used to…" You smirked as you played with the tip of the blade. 

"All over those contracts you used to get so made you'd have to print again…only to fuck me over the copier…counting each page out as punishment…"

"You think-"

"Your name might be on that door. The lease to my apartment. Even following our son's name. But you don't own me, Rafe. You don't decide where I go or who I see. When I come or with you. I want this for me. So knees. Or I'll leave right now and you won't-" He rushed against you, a kiss to your lips as he gathered your face between your palms. The letter opener, thrown across the floor, where it became lost to some bookshelf as you watched him pull away just slightly. 

"There's that fire…"

"Shut up and make me come." He smirked before taking his hand to your neck. In the attempt made to keep dominance, you could only wrap your hand around his wrist as he pulled you to him. 

"You're right…" His middle finger came to your sex. "I might now own you. God knows you have your own opinions. But I own your body. Your moans. Your orgasm. Even the denial you have after you regret giving in to me…again…"

"You-"

A second finger set at a curve made you gasp in relief. 

"I own sex. With you. And I'll always make you mine. Make you come. Every time. And you show your ass like that again…I'll let them see it as I make it the darkest shade of red I can until you can't even sit." He scoffed. 

"How will you explain that to our son? Hmm? His mom's a whore who can't learn to keep her mouth shut but keeps her legs open for daddy? Mmm…I like the way that sounds…" 

He gripped your throat harder. "Call me it. I'll let you come. Just like you want. But call me it."

"Bastard." You shot as he kissed you sharply. 

"That's fine. I'll just take you how I want…" He pinned your back flat against the desk before thrust you down onto him. The fulfillment of his cock sending your eyes to an immediate roll as your back arched from his depth. 

"Not so dominant now with my cock deep enough to remind you how much you need it, yeah? Then fucking take it, baby…" Your fingers wrapped around the edge of the desk as he bowed into you. One harsh grasp to the back of your neck brought you into him as another held himself up from crushing you. It would only take until the third thrust before your reservation turned into the need for more as you wrapped yourself around him. Feet tied over his waist and your fingers pulling at his hair, he moaned into your kiss with approval. 

"Rafe-" 

"I know you're about to. Think I need to be warned after how many times?"

"No…I…I want more…" He smirked, kissing you once more before pressing your calf into his chest and holding you tightly. 

"That enough for you, yeah? Feel me that deep inside of you?" He hit his hand on the surface of the desk beside you. 

"Answer me!"

"Oh my God…" You only kissed him, softening his anger, but not his passion. "You feel so good…fuck me, Rafe…" His eyes rolled to your command. 

"Daddy…" you teased directly into his ear before nibbling on the lobe beneath as he unleashed himself into you. The desk at a threat to break as it even cried out beneath you. But as you moaned shamelessly beneath him his hand came around your mouth. A slip allowed by losing himself in the greed of your lower lips. 

"I thought you wanted them to hear me…"

"Nobody gets to hear you come but me." He lifted you off of the desk and onto the couch across the way until you straddled him. Without the need for guidance, you began a lace of bouncing and clenching as his fingers ate sharply into your hips. 

"Yes!" He belted behind clenched teeth. "My girl never forgot how to ride me…" You diverted the grip over his shoulders into that of the fabric behind him as he corrected you back to his skin. 

"It will hurt you."

"I want you to." He confessed, allowing you a chance to read beyond the lines of your toxic relationship, where sex governed and compassion was sparse. But in this moment, he became gentle. If he could even be such a thing, this was the closest you'd ever seen him. 

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I do. I want you to. Because I want to hurt you…" He explained with tears in his eyes as you kissed him sweetly, surprising him. 

"Then hurt me." He clenched his jaw, turning you onto your knees before pulling you back to face him. A smack to your ass and a vice if s grip made you wince as he repeated it twice over. 

"Just say it once. You don't have to mean it…just say you're mine…"

"I'm yours, Rafe…So fuck me like it…" He pounded into you, your body pinned between him and the arm of the chair as only his hand through your hair pulled him back. 

"Yes!" You chorused. 

"Oh shit…" He moaned for you, the desperate groan making your eyes roll in approval. 

"I wanna fuck it so deep inside of you that you get pregnant again-" Your eyes shot open. 

"Rafe-"

"Just one more time…You let me use every part of you to come…you were more horny than I was…" You hesitated. 

"Yep…one more time…"

"Rafe, no-"

"Yes baby…you're gonna be so fucking good again…so beautiful, so full…tits so fuckable…"

"Raaaaafe!" You whimpered. "Please!"

"If you don't want it, are you you clenching so hard? Hmm? Why are you so close to coming for me?"

"Because you're so deep…"

"Deep enough for you to give me another baby…come on…take it baby…" he pulled you back against him. One arm wrapped as a sash as he used the other at your clit. 

"You can come…I know I am…"

"Oh fuck!"

"Good fucking girl…oh yeah…oh you want it…say it…say you want my cum…say it!"

"Ah! I want it! Cum inside me, Rafe!"

"Yeah? Why?"

He smiled as you faced him. "Oh…tell me before I come…I'm close…you're too fucking tight…"

"That's fine…you're still gonna take every drop…" he thrust violently into you, as you belted and stiffened for him. 

"There…Now I'll forgive you for acting like such a little bitch…" he moved to kiss you but you moved away. 

"Don't be that way. You could have said no."

"I did…"

"Your body wanted it…I bet it still does…"

"Rafe…" He moved to his desk, pressing the intercom to his assistant. Pulling up the sleeves of his dress shirt you left loose and stretched, he kept his eyes to you. 

"Cancel the rest of today."

"Mister Cameron-"

"Thank you." He moved back to you. 

"Looks like you're mine for the rest of the day…" 

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @belcalis9503

MASTERLIST

RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

2ND RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

BABY DADDY MASTERLIST

MARCH MADNESS MASTERLIST

[balkanradfem]

So! I went home and found myself with hundreds of fall chores, no laptop, and no internet. I love my unpredictable, varied routine; first day back I went foraging for mushrooms and chestnuts, collected beautiful red apples for the kitchen and made my first fall mushroom soup. I cleaned out the fridge and the pantry and checked all my dried goods for moths. Then I headed back out, collecting conkers, walnuts, nettle - I actually had to go on a mission to find nettle! Half of it was destroyed by the flood; the other half cut by city maintenance. In the end I found some near the little house where a woman lives with six cats. I knew it was a cat lady because one time I spotted her coming home from the store, arms filled with bags, and all six cats ran to greet her with their tails up in delight. It was a lovely sight!

I don't think the woman used the nettle, it was strong and untouched, but when I sneaked by to get some, all six cat perked up and watched me. I've never been so observed by cats!

I was late this year to collect yarrow as well, and it would be unwise not to have it, since it resolves stomach cramps. Most of it was gone already, so I had to scour the fields and finally found some on a grassy path near a pumpkin patch. I'll be safe from cramps this winter!

Another big chore I had was to declutter my basement - I was stashing lots of donated clothing in there, and I need the space for all the zuchinni, pumpkins and potatoes. I gifted all the good clothing to the plant lady, and then had to figure out what can be used for sewing, and what was useless to me. This used to be an impossible task for me, because everything can be used somehow, I can sew with anything. And when you buy nothing, it's really hard to throw stuff away! You can't replace it. 

But this time I had a new distaste for microplastic and decided I would not own or sew with plastic materials. This easily got me rid of more than half the stuff! I tolerated stuff that was 95% cotton or linen, but anything completely viscose, acrylic or polyester got removed. This is of course, clothing I was not attached to. It's much harder to get rid of an acrylic sweater I happen to love. But! I won't be getting attached to another. 

I put all the nice stuff in a bag and left it outside for people to have. If they can tolerate it who am I to deprive them of it. I hope it can get used!

My next tasks are weeding out the garden, transplanting strawberries, sowing some celery and parsley, digging out potatoes, processing all the conkers and walnuts, drying and storing the mushrooms, trying to get rid of kitchen moths. (any advice on that?)

I'm having a good time running around doing various chores! The routine of normal people was driving me insane; every day was exactly alike, lots of sitting around, waiting for food delivery, then doing dishes and laundry. The store was the only place to visit! My quests for food bring me deep into the forests, looking for edible mushrooms, to the tops of hills for chestnuts, and quaint little houses with cats for nettle. Finding food outside is enrichment! I missed interacting with nature and roaming mindlessly trough the wilderness.

[moon7jay]

I got back to thinking of Cherry!Heeseung's behavior of trying to do his level best to keep OC with him.

And he must have gotten this trait from somewhere? So this spawned this fan made spinoff outtake from Cherry, dedicated to you from me 🫶 (my writing style may not so justice to it though, so I'm making it a bullet point scenario)

----------

- You're at a part-time job in one of the new cafes that opened. This was your little rebellion after a fight you had with Heeseung. It was a bit silly, but he really can't keep bulldozing you, can he?

- One of the guests a distinguished older gentleman, in a suit had a little accident, in the midst of a very important business meeting.

Coffee had pulled over his laptop, causing his system to crash, and his frustration was obvious.

- he's surprised to see the round eyed cashier approaching him timidly, asking if she could take a look at his system.

- there's magic in your hands as you compute your way through errors, bringing his spluttering, dying laptop back to life.

- he's back on his meeting in under an hour, ending with a beaming smile and a very generous tip to you.

- it's been a good day, you think. Maybe you'll buy something for Jihoon, and Heeseung too if he behaves....

-------

- Heeseung is having the opposite of a good day. He's been hauled back to his palatial family home, slumped grumpily in front of his disapproving parents

- they're disappointed he's not ready to inherit their carefully built company, and he's heard this spiel over and over again by now.

- but this time, they're threatening to cut off his cards. His CARDS. The one thing he had to provide for you with. What else could he offer?

- He fixes them with an angry stare that belies the panic rising in his gut

- his parents are masterful negotiators after years in the industry. They wait till he stews and sweats in discomfort.

- then his mother quips " Don't even bother coming back home unless..."

- "Unless what?" He growls out.

- "You bring back that little girlfriend of yours with a ring on her finger. If you don't, you can kiss your inheritance goodbye" his father finishes.

- Heeseung's not surprised they heard of you. After all, they've run background checks on kost of his flings and past drama.

- but this is new.

- this he can get behind.

- He relaxes. "It's a deal"

- he leaves his family home with a spring in his step.

- after he leaves, his parents smile at each other at having found the perfect future CTO for their company, who can even keep their son in line.Sweet intelligent and a little rough around the edges, very trainable, but there's no price on skill and human relationships, is there?

Okay wowziesss it's the first time someone has made a spin off of my character I'm so glad that cherry heeseung really got you thinking so much 😭 thank you, thank you for dedicating this to me my love<3

Also the bullet points are so GOOD?? You're an amazing writer, I love how you described heeseung's family situation and y/n's rebellion. Although in my universe, heeseung's family condition is a little different (I was thinking of exploring that in my epilogue), but the one you gave him suits the storyline too, I love the insertion of parents‼️wow. And y/n would definitely go back to the cafe just to spite heeseung omg that was so accurate 😭that's her way of taking control back. This was so amazing, thank you again 🫶

[inahc3]

I was hoping it would take me about a month to recover from moving, this time - as opposed to the three months it took last year. In a way, I was not entirely wrong - my body had recovered enough before the end of May that simply standing up didn't make my legs try to cramp. And yet, here I am in late June, finally admitting to myself that the odds of writing before July are slim, and yet not being entirely sure how I got here.

At first, it was the chores. Things postponed until after moving, like address changes that couldn't be scheduled in advance. Things related to the new place, like learning to use the appliances. Minor surprise issues, like having to buy shower curtain rods.

Then the urgent chores were handled, and I did my best to space out the others - I'd much prefer to hyperfocus on getting all the house things done, but that way lies burnout and frustration (ok I did actually have a burnout week too, that sucked), and besides, I'm sure new house things will pop up on a regular basis now that we don't have a landlord to call about them.

My RL social life took off too, and that was a fun kind of exhaustion. While that was going on, I decided I'd rather fill my head with appliance manuals during the week, figure out their quirks (like how the dishwasher delay function gets weird if you open the door), and *then* dump all that knowledge into my reminder app before filling my head with WIPs and plot instead.

I think I procrastinated a little after that was done - or maybe I had too many appointments. my memory is foggy and my notes are cryptic. I did at least have some stuff fizzing in the back of my head still, and one sleepless night I figured out a solution to my biggest plot hole.

The weekend after our housewarming party, I was determined to get back on that horse. I got all my notes out, flung some documents onto the shiny new TV, and filled my brain with plot again. Sorted out all the things that needed deciding about the plot of part 1, how the plot hole solution affected them, which scenes were most urgent to write in case they jumped the tracks and changed things - I was all set to spend Sunday Actually Fucking Writing, with my notes all around me to help get back into things.

Then Sunday came with an opportunity to do things I'm normally not well enough to do, and I decided that was worth postponing the writing just a little bit. Surely I could do it in the afternoon. Or on Monday, at worst. I even brought my laptop along in the hopes that I'd have writing time while I was out.

I ended up doing pain management instead of writing, and then being so exhausted I made the very stupid decision to read Just One Chapter of a fic someone had recommended. It was a good fic (dustverse), and I can never have just one, and then it was 6am and I was deep into both spoon debt *and* sleep deprivation. 🤦 So I resigned myself to a few days of recovery. I recovered, made plans to pick up the writing again on the weekend - and promptly got sick instead. 🤦 Ugh. I can't write while sick even when I have something to continue, let alone when I haven't touched my fic in so long anxiety thinks writing is an existential threat. 🤪

So here I am, beginning to recover - the good news is I think I'll be well enough to travel for an important medical appointment, the bad news is I need to save all my spoons for that and not take risks, plus my brain is full of Things To Pack (which I have not properly written down, FML) with no room for Things To Write. And I know I won't write shit while I'm away, and there'll be a pile of postponed chores waiting for me when I get back.

I'm gonna need a solid day of Only Writing to push through the anxiety, and it's gonna suck so much, and I don't actually think I'll have room in my schedule until July. 😭 And I can't even afford to have strong feelings about it right now - gotta stay relaxed and give my immune system all the spoons that aren't spent on packing.

NGL, it's times like these that make it tempting to throw in the towel and leave the writing to people who don't have to fight their own brain over every goddamn word. But this story really, really wants to be written. So I think I'll keep trying. At least until part 1 is complete and I get the ineffable idiots talking again.

I got a really nice comment on it a while back, too, so my beta readers and I aren't the only people looking forward to more chapters. :) :) although at this point, I think it makes more sense to sketch out the remaining scenes and have several mostly-written chapters to edit, to be sure all the plot threads come together well enough, instead of going mostly chapter by chapter like I have before. So even once I get writing again, posting could take a while. Slow and steady wins the race, I guess?

[blaiddydbrokeit]

So my aunt bought me a PC to replace my 5.5 year old laptop that has seen two repairs and is dying. This new PC is from Aftershock, and will be delivered sometime this week, but can I just. Tell you guys the hysterical turn of events involved in this singular purchase?

So, we place the order, and get the invoice via email. All is well and good. A service rep for the brand emails me to ask for the image I want engraved on the glass and how I want it positioned. Oh fuck. Wrong panel. So I let them know I meant the other panel. They say no problem, they'll amend the invoice for me and send it out. Two days later, no invoice. Contact customer service out of curiosity. Oh. They're on leave and I'll have to wait for them to be back first. Sure thing, no biggie.

They somehow get the invoice out ten minutes later. Cool. Thanks dude.

The estimated turnaround time is 2 to 4 weeks. I think: "Okay, I have four weeks to get the rest of the peripherals."

Fast forward about three weeks. I realize the lunar ghost month is coming and my parents are superstitious about bringing big permanent fixtures into the house then. I go to customer service again and ask if it can be expedited a little bit. Customer service takes an hour between responses and speaks half in emoji. That's entertaining, but not very informative. Their office hours end at 8pm without a definitive response. Thanks Gary, very cool, but damn. Ah well.

Today: I contact support again and give them the details and ask if they can expedite it a little bit, just anytime before August 4. Guy on the line says "oh yeah we can probably get it out to you by tonight actually". Panic because I haven't gotten a keyboard or mouse yet. Heads out to buy that. While outside, I get the most wet cat message from the customer service line: "Umm We made some mistakes with your glass engraving actually and the team is building a new chassis for you right now, the delay is probably going to take 2 to 3 biz days, so we can't deliver tonight." And I'm amused, because what kind of mistake warrants that level of do-over? So I ask. Apparently it wasn't so much a quality fault as it is a straight up production error. I'm guessing they completely fucked up the scale of the svg file. Ah well. I got my keyboard from a friend and a cheap Logitech mouse while texting with customer service.

Me: Hey can you guys deliver in the morning slot if you gotta reschedule anyway? I work evenings and won't be home to sign for the package if you deliver then.

Customer Service: Yeah we'll put down a note for you! Thanks for understanding :)

Me: (WHY ARE THEY SO WHOLESOME??)

Like. On goddess, I'm not even mad because I'm so entertained and actually don't feel like it's a chore trying to communicate with customer service.

[pbandjesse]

Celia just left! It was so nice to have her over. Today was a bit exhausting though. Mostly because it was warm. But wearing a linen dress was absolutely the move. Like yes I could have been in less clothes but the dress was pretty cool and I was able to be fairly comfortable all day.

I slept alright. Not the best. I don't remember James leaving for work. But they would let me know when they were safely there. For some reason the alert I had set to tell me that isn't doing it right now which is annoying but it's fine.

I would get up at 745 and was dressed and out the door by 8. I had permed my lashes last night and the glue was not completely off of my eyes which felt very strange. I would have to peel it off because I wasn't supposed to get water in them for 24 hours. The new brand I got for sure was an easier time. The glue worked better. But it left more leftover glue on my lids which was weird. I don't think they are as intense but that might have just been the type of lid guard thing I used. Next time I'll try one of the other sizes.

I would get to hunt valley to pick up the crew. And we ended up having a really really excellent conversation. About history and war and media. Like it was such a good conversation. I told them I was listening to a podcast about Thomas Jefferson and why he sucks. And that lead to talking about history repeating itself. Which lead to talk about the current genocide in Gaza. And that eventually lead to American Gods, the show, and how black characters were represented. It was just really awesome. Ray said he would take a class to listen to me and I was very very flattered.

It would be a very productive day. I let Heather know I did not need a crew and would be working at my laptop. Callie was currently at my desk so I was a little flustered not knowing where to start quite yet. Kieran accidentally elbowed me in the head. Oops. But then I got my table back and got to work.

I mainly was working on the name tags and the layout for printing those. I would have 70 done by lunch. I had some people helping with adding the lanyards on but mainly this was my project. Some people's were funny like "your majesty" "queen" and while I still printed those Elizabeth says they have to have their actual name on the other side. We have to be the fun police a bit I guess.

It was nice to get away from my computer and I went up to arts to sit with friends and talk. I told some of the girls the story about me and James getting engaged and all the tragedy and drama around that. My dad being in the hospital. My sister passing away. The first day of camp. My first time sleeping at camp. Just so much happened. It was nice to tell the story though.

Merrin also told me about Jorge!! Jorge from last summer. They are dating now and apparently he still talks about me all the time. I can't wait til he's back. He's great. I cannot wait to have his group in art again.

I would have lunch in the office and sit with Callie. I read my book while she worked on forms. And eventually she would head back to painting at the latrine. And I would go up to arts to unpack boxes with Jeci. The boys were nice enough to deliver all my supplies for me. It was super helpful. And it was just nice working with Jeci. He is very sweet.

And it was nice to get all the materials sorted for my projects. I think I have everything now and it makes me feel really ready for the year.

I had really hoped that my lesson writing and supply buying would alleviate the pressure on the other specialties too but so far that's only half true.

Aaron still wants to do some of his own writing but he did say today he's expanding on my lessons. Good. It's not even that I care about my lessons so much vanity wise, but I just don't understand stressing yourself out writing new stuff. I'm just worried that he's going to burn himself out.

I had been sorting beads for an hour but then our new staff member, Corrina, came and I was thrilled to meet her. She is going to be the early American culture teacher (EAC for short) and she is a teacher already so she's going to do great. I showed her around camp. We sat down and looked at the binder I made. She said she was very impressed. And that was very flattering. We would walk all around and chat about the program and camp itself. When we got back to the office we ran into Kieran and he would drive us around the rest of camp on the gator. Eventually dropping me off at the art building. Corrina would walk back to the chickee to investigate her materials and he would stay with me for a bit to talk about the program and the changes. Both positive and negative. Things he is worried about and things we might change. And like I keep saying. I will change whatever. But there is only so much I can do if they want all these new programs. Like I can't make more time in a day. Im doing my best with the hours of the day I have.

But it was nice talking and venting about the weird stuff. But then it was 430 and it was time to go.

I stopped at the office (in my car) and said bye to Alexi, Elizabeth, and Heather. Checked about my plans for tomorrow and then was off. Into absolutely horrible traffic. Almost an hour!!

I listened to my podcast and tried to just enjoy the beautiful clouds. But I didn't want to be in the car anymore and was so happy to be home.

When I got inside James was listening to their podcast. I gave them a big kiss and went to say hi to sweetp. We put Crabcake outside. I cleaned the frog tank of some dirt and snails. Noticed that one of the frogs is shedding and it looked like he was wearing a little hoodie. So cute. Then I went to wash my face and put new lotion on before I went to sit outside with a pretzel stick and a soda.

Crabcake was making a whole lot of noise in the tank outside. Silly boy.

While I was out there I had decided to text Charlie and he actually texted me right back. It's been forever and I miss him dearly. We exchanged some pictures about our lives right now. He's in New Mexico and while he went through some tough times he's finding his way and things are beautiful right now. I'm so happy to hear that. I really hope I see him soon. Summer camp memories are always going to be intertwined with him for sure.

I was just enjoying laying on the swing. But then Celia was here! I was excited to have her meet Crabcake. She has some feedback about the enclosures. Thankfully already stuff I knew needed improvement. I told her about my grater plans for both inside and outside enclosures. And we all just sat on the ground chilling and talking. It was fun.

Eventually we flipped a coin if James would come join us for dinner (tails: James tags along, head:James heads home) and it was decided me and Celia would go alone. And James would stay home and do James things.

We went to mystic burrito. A place in highland town I wanted to try. I got their cheesey loaded nacho style French fries. She got the same but actually nachos. It was nice to sit and talk but I was also tired and struggling to hold the conversation at times. So it was really nice to just sit and listen to her talk about her job and working at a state park. Running into a childhood friend. The sexual dimorpha of sparrows. Creating a program about the Susquehannok people. It was really nice to listen.

When we got back to the house we had popsicles on the couch while James played a video game. We talked about books we like. And I bought a little series on eBay on her recommendation. It was a calm evening but also just really fun.

She left before 930. She should be getting home now. I went and took a shower while James got Sweetp inside and got our bed all ready for sleep. Where I am going to go to now.

Tomorrow is the last day of the week of work projects! It still feels like there is so much to be done. But also we did so much. I hope it is a good and productive day. Wish us luck. I love you all. Good night!!

[garaksapprentice]

Review: the Daedalus Falcon e-spinner

Originally posted on my blog: https://garaksapprentice.blogspot.com/2023/09/review-daedalus-falcon-e-spinner.html

(There's a ton of photos in this one and much as I love you all, I cannot brain moving them all over here. So if you want all the pics, please check the blog.)

I confess, this is a departure from my usual "let's do things with the least amount of money we can get away with" style. In my defence, I strive to be frugal rather than cheap. I don't mind spending the money to get a good quality, durable product, if it's something I know will get a lot of use. An e-spinner definitely fits that category for me, for several reasons.

One, I fall well on the frog hair end of the spinning spectrum, something most traditional wheels just aren't designed to accommodate. I actually found it faster (and easier on my legs) to use a spindle for the kinds of fine, high-twist yarns I prefer to spin. But, there are limits to how fine I can comfortably go on a spindle - anything past about 50 WPI and I have to concentrate just on the spinning. Not good when you typically use a spindle on the go.

Two, I have a lingering knee injury that doesn't like the treadle action of most spinning wheels (something I find hilariously frustrating given I ride a cargo bike anywhere I can't take the train).

Three, I spin mostly to weave. Much as I love spinning, I like it to end eventually so I can move onto the weaving part of the equation.

After three straight months of research, the Daedalus Falcon came out as the hands-down winner for my goals of speed, fine yarn, and product durability.

Why Daedalus?

Daedalus manufacture high-end e-spinners and spinning accessories. All their products are designed to need little to no maintenance, and to last 20+ years - they're seriously well put together.

They make five different e-spinners to suit just about any spinning preference, from super bulky art yarn to ultra fine frog hair. The Falcon is specifically designed for production spinning of fine yarns - it can reach speeds of 4,200 RPM, over twice what I could get from my Ashford Traditional wheel.

Ordering

I'll be honest, I spent a long time thinking about which model, and whether to order a Daedalus at all. These beauties are high-performance machines built to last. But, that means they come with the price tag of a high-performance machine. Plus currency exchange. Plus postage. (Yikes.) In all, I spent just under AU$2,000 on my Falcon set-up (I ordered three extra bobbins at US$90 and some yarn control cards for US$24).

At the time I ordered (November 2022), there was an estimated wait time of 12 months or more. Luckily for me, if not my bank account, Daedalus expanded their production capacity over the 2022 Christmas break. I reached the front of the Falcon queue in June 2023 (seven months from sign-up). At the time of writing (September 2023) there is no queue for the Falcon, and the Daedalus team are working to banish their waitlists completely.

The package

My Falcon came party disassembled, cradled in bubble wrap. (I wasn't thinking about writing a review when I ordered it, so I didn't take pictures.) The flyer assembly was individually wrapped for transport, as were the speed controller, inverter, cables, and welcome pack/spares bag.

The inverter is a standard laptop style pack. It comes with a US-ended jug plug, but that's easy to change out for whatever your local plug end is. I dove into my box of spare cables and leads and had a compatible jug plug in less than two minutes. If you don't have a box of old computer cords lying around, what century did you time travel from plan ahead and buy a new one.

Importantly, the inverter outputs 15 volts! Make absolutely sure that you've got the right one when you go to spin! Most laptops nowadays run on 20 volts - you don't want to damage the motor by running it faster than it's designed for.

{pic on blog}

The extension cable for the speed controller, and the power end on the motor itself, is some non-standard end that I've never seen before. (It's probably very common among people who know things about electronics; I'm not one of them.) It's similar to USB-A connectors in that the ends are directional; if you don't get them the right way up, they won't connect. The cord itself has a protective, braided outer and feels very sturdy.

From top to bottom: the outside of both ends, the female end, and the male end.

The Instructions

The guidebook (also available as a PDF on their website) is beautifully designed, and clearly written. The parts diagrams are clearly photographed and labelled. I've found the instructions easy to follow, even with a scattered brain.

It includes:

getting started

fine tuning the tension

how to use the speed controller

a page of "handy tips"

how to change the bobbin

an RPM speed table

changing settings in the speed controller menu

maintenance

flat packing for travel

the Daedalus battery (purchased separately)

Daedalus' social media and contact details

The first page has a QR code that takes you directly to the Daedalus YouTube channel, where you can find videos on how to assemble and disassemble each model. My one quibble here is that the QR code takes you to the channel as a whole, rather than to the specific playlist for the model you bought. The videos themselves are short, to the point, and well shot with clear lighting and narration.

Also, the manual states that the speed controller has been limited to 50% max speed in the settings - mine wasn't. I've seen other folks on social media also say their controller wasn't speed limited for this model, so it's something to watch out for.

About that battery

Daedalus offer a battery bank that's designed to work with all their e-spinners (yay!). Unfortunately, due to issues with postage, they don't mail them outside the continental US (boo!).

While their website does say that they'll help you find a compatible battery that you can purchase in your country, this is complicated by the part where all their stuff runs on 15 volts. In Australia at least, 15v battery banks with a standard laptop cable input simply don't exist. I spent six weeks trying to find somewhere to buy a battery - I eventually gave up due to my brain frying any time I tried to look at listings.

While I'd like the option of a battery eventually (it would be much easier to set up in the back yard that way), for now I've made peace with needing to lug extension cords anywhere I want to spin.

Spinning Experience

So far I've only spun commercially prepared wools, so this won't be a thorough review of the Falcon's performance over a variety of fibres and preps. (I'll attempt that later, when I get the chance. And finer wool cards.)

Noise

It's quiet. Really quiet. At least two people at every guild meeting I've taken it to have commented on how quiet it is. Most of the noise comes from the flyer rotation, and considerably less from the motor. I'm quite sensitive to noise, especially higher pitches, so I was concerned about this. Luckily it hasn't been an issue. (If you're the sort of person who can hear electricity, it may bother you. I've lost that mysterious ability as I've aged, for the most part, so I can't say for sure.)

I have noticed that the noise changes/gets louder at speeds above about 70% - again, this is simply due to the fact that the flyer is turning at ~3,000+ RPM. At worst I have to turn the laptop up slightly to better hear the video I have playing. The breeze off the flyer sure helps with air circulation on a warm day, too.

Threading

The size of the hooks (loops, really) and the inner part of the orifice make threading a breeze. I do occasionally struggle with very fine, high twist threads, especially when I'm rethreading after a break. That's partly finding the right angle to hold the thread at so that it catches in the hook, and partly my fingers not always co-operating.This is the position I find works best for threading the orifice.

I wouldn't want to try it with a non-Daedalus orifice hook, though - there's quite a bend in the hook, and it's there for good reason. Luckily the Falcon body has magnets on it to always keep your hook nearby.

The magnets + hook combo is great for holding the end of the thread when you're not spinning, too. I just wrap it around the middle of the hook a few times and stick it back on the magnets.

Take-up and tensioning

The take-up is wonderfully light, and can be ridiculously fine-tuned to match what you're spinning. When take-up drops below an acceptable level (once or twice per layer of bobbin filling), a tiny adjustment (less than a quarter turn) is usually enough to get things back on track.

I've filled four part-bobbins so far (two I'm still working on, one I ran out of fibre), at ~65 WPI, 45 WPI, and ~85 WPI. On each empty bobbin, I started with the spring completely compressed and the cord just barely tight/without slack. It took a few minutes of trial and error with each fibre to dial in the correct tension, but once I did, it was basically hassle-free for each spinning session thereafter.

That being said - I found correct tensioning quite tricky to dial in at first, because the hook and dial had shifted on their arms during shipping. If you put your wheel in something to travel with and find the tension is all screwy next time you go to spin, that's something to look at.

This circumstance isn't covered in the guide book, so it took me a while to work out why my "maximum tension" on the dial still wasn't enough to draw on the yarn I was spinning (it only became apparent about a third into the bobbin). Once I realised that the tension dial had rotated on the shaft in transport, I was able to reset it by simply rotating it back to a more vertical position.

{pic on blog}

This is an extreme example, but both the tension dial and the spring hook opposite it can rotate like this if you're not careful.

Starting/Stopping

At first I didn't think I'd need the foot pedal extension cord - surely I'd just be able to bop the controller on and off with my hand while I was spinning?

I was quickly disabused of this notion partway through my second bobbin. When things go wrong while spinning a 60 WPI single at 2,500 RPM, they go wrong fast. Being able to turn the Falcon off with my foot, while frantically trying to salvage whatever's gone wrong, is essential.

A really nice bonus to the foot pedal is that I'm not stuck in one position while spinning - I can sit, stand, rock from side to side, even crouch or kneel. I have back and shoulder problems and an old knee injury, so being able to freely change posture is a godsend for keeping my muscles happy.

And the soft stop/start - oh. my. Dog. I did not realise how much nicer my wheel spinning life could be. A soft stop is built in to spindle spinning by default, and I genuinely didn't realise how much I missed that on a wheel until I started spinning on the Falcon. I sing its praises whenever the thread breaks - the end stays loose and easy to find on top of the bobbin. No matter how gently I tried to stop my treadle wheel, more often than not the thread end would be buried somewhere in the hills and valleys on the bobbin, and there would be much swearing during retrieval.

Bobbin size

Daedalus advertises the Falcon bobbin as holding "two ounces (60 g) of 30 WPI singles". After plying a couple of bobbins of sock yarn with it, I would call this a conservative estimate. I managed to fit 70g of a 32 WPI, two-ply yarn on one bobbin - and it wasn't even well packed!

I've included a couple of in-progress bobbin shots, and what the singles on them currently measure/weight, below. None of them are even close to full, unfortunately - this is the order I spun them in, and right now I need to concentrate on the last one since it's due by December.

{pics on blog}

Sliver from Bendigo Woollen Mills. ~75 WPI, 31g. 19.5 micron merino top from Nundle Farms. ~82 WPI, 29g.  Handpainted 20 micron merino from Kathy's Fibres, ~82 WPI, 12g.

Final thoughts

This powerhouse is not for everyone. It's made for a specific purpose, and it fulfils that purpose beautifully. But it would probably suck at doing things it's not designed for.

While I'm sure you could spin 20 WPI or even 10 WPI singles with it, it won't do the job as well as an e-spinner designed for that. The other Daedalus offerings are worth a look, if you're not as into spinning frog hair as me.

But if you have a deep, abiding love for spinning lace-weight and finer yarns, this is an e-spinner worth looking at. Expensive though it was, it's one of the best fibre-related purchases I've made. (It easily beats the sewing machine and the overlocker combined.)

I'm definitely an outlier here - I have the not-at-all-typical goal of one day having a completely hand-spun, handwoven, and hand-sewn wardrobe. As such, production spinning is my jam - I want fine, high-twist yarns, that commercial mills simply can't replicate. And I want them as fast as my skills will let me go. With that in mind, the Falcon makes complete sense for my spinning goals.

Obligatory disclaimer: I'm not affiliated with Daedalus, and this post isn't sponsored (not that I'm against that, mind. This apprentice has to eat). All opinions are my own.

[mint-moon25]

THANKS - 2 - GOOGLE - SEARCH

NO 1 - SEARCH - ENGINE - IN THE

WORLD

SUMMER - OLYMPICS - 1924

FIRST - OLYMPICS - ATTENDED BY

PHILIPPINES

1935 - LOS ANGELES - CALIFORNIA

SUMMER - OLYMPICS

ONE - PINOY - WON - BRONZE - FOR

BOXING - BECAUSE - OPPONENT DID

NOT - SHOW - UP

NO - PROOF - OF - BOXING - STRENGTH

CAPABILITY

1921 - TOKYO - OLYMPICS

OLDEST - CIVILIZATION - OVER - 25 MILLION

YEARS - ON - BEHALF - OF - FORGOTTEN BY

PINOYS - IN - NEED - OF - GOLD - MEDALS

ZAMBOANGA - GIRL - FIRST - GOLD MEDAL

OF - PHILIPPINES - WOMEN's - WEIGHTLIFTING

50 KG - ONLY - 121 LBS

CORRECTION

JAPANESE - MALE - BORN - IN - USA

4 - YOUTUBE - CARRIED - 600 LBS - 2

2024 - PARIS - OLYMPICS - THE - 3RD

SUMMER - OLYMPICS

PHILIPPINES - NEVER - WON - ANY

WINTER - OLYMPICS

MALE - PINOY - GYMNASTICS - SHORTIE

PANDAK - PANGIT - CARLOS YULO

FUTURE - PRESIDENT - OF - PHILIPPINES

UNDERARM - HAIR

2 GOLD - MEDALS - GYMNASTICS

ALL - GYMNASTS - ARE - SHORT

SOMETHING - THEY - DO - ENDS - THEIR

HEIGHT - PERMANENTLY

PROVIDED - BY - OLYMPICS - & COACHES

GIRLS - BECAUSE - OF - 1921 - TOKYO YES

OLYMPICS - TAKING - THE - LEAD OF OUR

FIRST - GOLD - MEDAL

AI - ARTIFICIAL - INTELLIGENCE OF GOOGLE

ONLY - MENTIONED - MALE - PINOY - GOLD 2

2 BRONZE - MEDALS - FEMALES - BOXING

THIS - TIME - THEY - SHOWED - THEIR YES

BOXING - EXPERTISE - AND - WON

PHILIPPINES - SHOWED - BOXING AND WON

CONGRATULATIONS

PINAYS - 2 - OF THEM - BOXING REAL - WINS

CONGRATULATIONS

MALE - PINOY - 2 GOLD - GYMNASTICS

GOT - MY - FIRST - CHECK - OUT - NEXT - TO

COMPUTER - EXPRESS - 30 MIN

ONLY - PLACE - 2 - GET - FREE - 900 MIN EA

DAY - MONDAY - 2 - SABBATHS

SITTING - DOWN - BOOTED - OUT

NO WAY - 2 - GET - THAT - 1ST - 2ND - FLOORS

DIDN'T - NEED - CARD

ENTERED - NOS - AND - PIN - NO

THEN - SHOWED - BAR CODE

GOT - RECEIPT - FR - CLICKING - WANT PRINT

EASIEST - FASTEST - THAN - BEGGING - TRUE

HELP DESK - 2 FLOORS

2 - HONOR - CORAZON COJUANCO AQUINO

YELLOW - COVER

DEBBIE MACOMBER - BORN - AGAIN - FILLED

WITH - THE - HOLY GHOST - WHOLESOME TOO

SHE - LOVES - CHRISTMAS

5 CHRISTMAS - TREES - 4 - HER - KIDS - AND

GRANDKIDS - THEIR - FAMILIES - 2 - DECORATE

HOW - FUN - AMAZON - PRIME - 3 COOKBOOKS

BUYING - ALL 3

'THERE'S - SOMETHING - ABOUT - CHRISTMAS'

NEW YORK TIMES - BESTSELLING - AUTHOR

DUE - 11 OCT 2024

RIGHT - 2 - GET - A - BOOK - 11 SEPT 2024

PATRIOT DAY

BIRTHDAY - TODAY - OF - FERDINAND E MARCOS

USA - TIME - EASTERN - TIME - 11 SEPT

MET - HIM

MET - IMELDA MARCOS - FIRST

WILL - MAKE - CERTAIN - IMELDA - LOOSES

WEIGHT - I HAVE - SHOES - 4 - HER - 2 - TRY

WILL - BECOME - COUTURE - DESIGNER

COUTURE - SHOE - DESIGNER

GBC FILMS - PRESENTS

TENTATIVE - TITLE

'CINDERELLA - SINGS'

STARRING - 'EXTRAORDINARY - YOU' - KOREAN

TV - DRAMA - AND - BYEON - THAT - MODEL - &

SINGER - ACTOR - 'MATCHMAKER' - CO - STARS

'THAT - BEAUTIFUL - GIRL - LEAD - OF

EXTRAORDIANRY - YOU' - WILL - B YES

THERE

WHO - IS - CINDERELLA?

AT - LEAST - YOO A

AT - LEAST - ME

I'M - NOT - CERTAIN - YET

FUTURE - NAME - CAILEY JAMES - CJ

WILL - B - SINGING - HERE - THOUGH

STUDENTS - 'CINDERELLA - SINGS'

THE - TITLE - IS - ORDINARY - ABOUT

STUDENTS

'TRUE - BEAUTY' - CAST - ALSO - NOT

ALL - ABOUT - STUDENTS

AESPA - ITZY - NCT - BOYS - IU - MY

FAVORITES - SE EUN KIM - EXCUSE

MY - SPELLING - THAT - EXTRAORDINARY

BEAUTY - FORGOT - HER - NAME

'THAT - BRIDE'

FORGIVE - ME - SE KYUNG SHIN

KIM CHIU - NEED - YOU - HERE

CHINA - GUAN XIAOTONG AND LUHAN

ALSO - IN - HERE

REVISING - ALSO - 'EXTRAORDINARY YOU'

I - WILL - STAR - ON - THAT

PLASTIC - SURGERY

MARILYN MONROE - PAULINA PORIZKOVA

JULIA MA - 3 COMBINED - 4 MY - YOUTUBE

CHANNEL - TRAVELING

MY - SHOPIFY - APP - HAS - 2 - ENTER - AN

APP - NOT - GOOGLE - NOT - THEIR

SUGGESTION - 2 - GIVE - CODE - SO - THEY

CAN'T - ENTER - MY - WEBSITE - EVEN - AS

THEY - STOLE - MY - HP - LAPTOP

USING - ASUS - LAPTOP

MY - TEL NO - HASN'T - BEEN - TRANSFERRED

YET - BY - ULTRA MOBILE - AND - THERE - WAS

NO - EMAIL - SAYING - THEY - COULDN'T

ENTERED - ACT NO - BILLING - ZIP CODE - PIN

SO - WAITING - PATIENTLY - SINCE - THURSDAY

LAST - WEEK - UNLIMITED - DATA - INTERNET

TALK - AND - TEXT - $28.88

SOLD - BY - MINT MOBILE - 90 + - COUNTRIES

FREE - 2 - CALL - UNLIMITED - NATIONWIDE 2

FREE - 2 - MEXICO - AND - CANADA

MOBILE - HOTSPOT - FREE - WI FI - CALLING

GOING - 2ND - FLOOR

WILL - PREPARE - 2 - LEAVE - MAIN - LIBRARY

CHECKING - AMAZON - WHAT - ELSE - 2 - BUY

WINTER x RALPH LAUREN SPRING 2025, THE HAMPTONS / VIA VOGUE KOREA

[omgitsjuly]

i gave in! i finally purchased that macbook air. it's the 2020 version though, but it's brand new. it's been long time i haven't had a laptop, can you imagine? i gave mine to my dad when i started working like 10 years ago lol. i just though i had no need for it, until pandemic happened my dad had to go back home and be stuck there, and there were some robbers who stole his stuffs even the macbook i gave

but i though i just didn't need it so it was meh. cause i have iphones and iphones are very powerful now.

then lately idk why i am miserable sometimes even though i've been traveling all over (Europe, Africa, Middle East, Asia), going to luxury resorts, horse riding, eating everywhere, shopping, but i still am miserable and the only little bit of happiness i find in my heart is browsing articles, reading books, journaling and dreaming about writing again, but guess what! i miss typing, like TYPING IN KEYBOARD and just let the creative juices flow like i used to

my job has really made me stagnant. i couldn't think, my brain is rotting. mind you i am a very lazy person and i'd rather not think. however my creativity is still part of me. if i couldn't use it, i get depressed

i just think that macbook has the tools to trigger my creativity again especially for journaling and writing. hopeful to start content creation too! :)

hopefully before the end of this year i'll be able to buy macbook pro the newest and most powerful one to set up my mini-office here. then an imac on my main office

can't wait!! finally i get excited about life again!! i think i deserve it after working so hard for years and feeling miserable. i should keep rewarding myself like this

[ntuankhann]

RMIT Design Management Sem 1 - 2024

Team 9 - IRD VN Brief 2 & 3

Week 7: Filming

What's been going on in week 7?

Team's organization chart: Tam - main idea guy & director and video editor; Thao - communicator, storyboard and vid editor; Ngan - storyboard and editor; Khanh - stickers and presentation slides. Other than that all participate in pitching ideas for videos and making the video. Timeline: Now we're in the middle of shooting videos Individual contribution: the only individual stuff I did was the stickers but because I drew fast so it wasn't feel like a task at all. More like an excuse for me to draw. Other than that our team do everything together.

Peer review: I love my team lol, they're great.

For this week, we're shooting the videos. We did have many cafe meetings and all in order to figure out what will be in the videos but during the shooting days, we ended up changing a lot of stuff regarding camera angles, script and even the mood the whole video. Most of them were approved by all of us but the one suggesting them was Tam - our "director" guy. In my opinion, Tam is prossibly the closest to the definition of a "designer". What I mean by that is that he is always willing to change the entire thing if a new and better idea comes to mind while doing it, He's never stuck to the same idea that was agreed on from the beginning. That may sounds irresponsible but to me, that's what a designer supposed to do. He spends a lot of time to "figure" out what to do and then even change the script while shooting the videos - the script that he spent so much time to think about already. Tam isn't grounded to only a few ideas, but he is prone to come up with new ones and execute them on the spot. That's why his previous works are so deep and fun in terms of "design" rather than spending time on making his works look good. He's the kind of designer that focus on the meaning of his design more. As someone who is the direct opposite of Tam, I find it super interesting to be working under his "direction" this course. If i was the director, I would be fixated on the first script I made and spend the last 4 weeks of it trying to get that vision that I had and try to make it as visually appealing as possible. Working with him and my team has been helpful in terms of relearning how to "design" as well as "working" in general. In previous weekly reflection, I stated some concerns about worrying what to work on next for fear that I would run out of time waiting to confirm the script because we had been waiting for it for so long. In contrast, me before this course would confirm the plot right on the spot and start working myself to exhaustion to 4AM everyday. But this course, for the first time in 2 years of studying in RMIT, I feel healthy in a way I guess? The physical workload is tolerable, the thinking phase is comfortably long so I don't exhaust myself thinking about what to do; I even had time to buy groceries and cook myself 2 meals a day everyday and a thorough cleaning for my house every weekend - something I could only dream for the past 2 years since time for me was a luxury. Most of the little freetime I get was used to sleep so that my brain wouldn't get a stroke after staying awake looking at my laptop screen for 24-36 hours straight. Therefore, I'm serious when I say I don't mind whatever grade I get for this course as long as I pass, because what I get for this course is something I don't think I can't get anywhere else - a taste of a healthy lifestyle. This is what I truly want to aim for now, not DI or HD. I'm incredibly glad to be studying this course with this specific client and teammates.

Other than that I also started preparing the slides for the presentation.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How might I use the Quality, Time & Risk Management techniques I learned about in class to improve my life? - Solve the issue and get help if necessary. Always plan with your team before going for the conclusion.

What do I want to do when I graduate? - I'm not sure either, I enjoy drawing and somewhat animating so I'm looking forward to doing those stuff later on I guess.

What existing risks are preventing me from succeeding in my plans? - The only risk I have right now is that I feel like I don't "love" the stuff that I'm doing right now like everyone else. Yes, I do like drawing and I'm not that bad at it, but I don't draw every single day and use every minute I'm free to draw. I would rather use my freetime to spend with my family or stuff that benefits my mental health like cooking. The reason for that is probably after spending 2 years drawing for assignments, my love for drawing has transformed into a skill I use only for work and probably for future income. I still enjoy it, but not as much as doing it every second.

How do I mitigate those risks? - I don't really know either. The only goal for me right now is to just finish RMIT and see how things turn out. To be honest, I find peace in knowing and confirming to myself that I see illustration as a job to me rather than a dream like before. That means that I don't and won't hate that I will be doing in the future while also being able to have other hobbies outside of work as well.

[frogsandfries]

Well that was obnoxious

I should've just stayed exclusively on mobile, but my phone is seriously dying and I want to blather about my actually better-than-expected progress this evening. I got to page thirty-four on Canva, which was all I had edited the apostrophes and quotation marks. I've already done something like ten new pages of this cleanup; that's really going to be the biggest drive.

The book punch is on its way in the next few weeks, and I ordered some *impressive eyebrow wiggle* tiny paper origami cranes for the bookmarks for Manacled! I'm going to try to spend this next few weeks typesetting Mirror.

I bought some red ribbon for Apple Pie--I bought a bone folder! Book corners, a five-ended cat tunnel, and a silverware organizer! I'm probably going to crack at some point in the next two weeks or so and buy yet another pack of paper.

I'm actually half-trying to find if there's a better paper I'm "supposed" to be using? And since I'm basically out of adhesive (except for the methcel???), I also went to find a new adhesive that's better for bookbinding.

You'll never fucking believe.

First, they still make Yes Paste--I gave my barely used, almost at least ten-year-old jar to my friend because she scrapbooks. Who knows how old it was when it was handed along to me, and still usable at the point at which I shared it.

Second, you better goddamn believe I'm slapping down nearly thirty bucks for about sixteen ounces of that shit. It'll last a million years.

Third, for those of you, like me and formerly not in the know, Yes Paste is kinda fucking amazing like. It's weird. So it's almost a solid gel. I'm not entirely positive how it's supposed to be applied. The few times I used it, I think I used my finger. I couldn't really think of how else to use it at the time without being destructive (I didn't have any disposable plastic cards on me at the time). I would recommend an old plastic card or, more formally, a rubber squeegee. It would be to thick and heavy to use a regular paint brush, but perhaps one of those plasticky "disposable" ones from Michaels? With the cheap metal handles?

Another cool thing about Yes Paste is, it's not wet!! Which makes it amazing to use on paper, because the paper won't warp.

I don't remember how it dries, but I feel like I remember it drying sticky; not sure if there were specific instructions for that, but I don't think I read the label on the jar.

Anyway, I do of course already have plans for my portion of next paycheck. I probably had plans for every check from the time I moved in till idk man, probably September or October, at the earliest. I needed storage for all the stuff that's been stuck in these totes I used to move. I want to revenge purchase this tree bookshelf (or a couple). My ex can't stop me and only made me want it more by saying they hated it. Some laptop accessories would not be amiss. I'm still waiting anxiously for a good opportunity to get a new soda machine.

Then I remembered that I need to start adding a couple of items to my wardrobe at least a month, if not every paycheck for a while. Soooooo......... Yeah. Then I added this bookbinding hobby to my roster for at least a few months here and there. Surely I'll get my fill after a while, like with the graphic novel, where I still pick at it here at there, waiting for some kind of trigger to throw me back in. Oh well, I needed to shake up my hobbies for a while. Don't forget also slowly gathering tools and materials for paper-making (just imagine using my leftover scraps of fabric from these fanfic books on my recycled paper sketchbooks--ooooooh).

Anyway, I can only expand within the bounds of my habit, so eventually the spending will need to stop. I only need so many dishes and kitchen accessories, bookshelves (okay, you think the limits of my container are going to help my bookbinding obsession???), clothes.......

[rozinaaa]

Neither Here Nor There

It's that time of the year where it feels like I'm waiting for the end of term, where it's too late to start anything new, but too early to finish things and go home early, since there's still some things lingering. I know there's just over a week left before the term officially ends, but I'm kind of just there, waiting for things to wind down a bit.

I've completed my dissertation, the exhibition's up and running, I've done a few extracurricular side projects (which may or may not link to my actual university work), and now I'm waiting for the feedback meeting for my dissertation. Other than that, I'm literally on top of everything ever, that I actually don't know what to do with myself, and ironically, I'm stressed, even though I shouldn't be.

I guess with this time I've got, I could always try out freelancing again, although it won't be easy (or better yet, creating art for myself, not for university or money), or have a stab at my side projects, perhaps updating my database and curating even more digital art in the most low tech way possible, with a fairly low tech computer according to today's standards.

I'll actually make a start on my Final Major project in the new year, since it makes sense to do that (there's no point in doing that now, because I'll start it only to leave it as soon as I've started it, plus it'd give me the time to be able to acquire the materials that I'd need in order to create my readymade sculptures), also because my plan is to actually enjoy the holidays without having to worry about anything.

Oh shit, I actually have to learn blender with this new found time I've got, but do I really want to when the days are short and cold, and as miserable as ever? We'll see. Plus, I guess I could always mess around with it on my own computer, although it's too damn slow to do anything (better yet, I could do it on my Raspberry Pi, but I still need to purchase a monitor for it, because I'll end up getting cross eyed if it's plugged into the TV, since the resolution's not that great, plus I'd have to squint, and sit really close to it, so at the moment, it's sat in my drawer, and the monitor I want is a portable one which costs £250), but I'll see how it goes.

I've also been considering purchasing an iPad for quite some time now as well (especially for the freelance illustration front, since it'll allow me to be more productive), but I can't really justify the cost of buying one, because, well, Apple. I don't want to be trapped in the Apple ecosystem forever. I don't want everything to be at the mercy of one corporation. I also don't want to get an iPad simply because everyone else has one. I guess I should always make do with what I've got, mainly tech wise: a wonky laptop (old enough to still have a built in CD drive, from 2017) which I can only use if it's plugged in, for the fear that it might randomly turn off when I'm in the middle of doing something; a Raspberry Pi 400 (literally a computer in a keyboard, similar to them ones from the 80's, and relatively portable, though I'd need a portable monitor for it, but then again, it'd end up being a laptop with extra steps); and also my iPhone XR, which I've got a love-hate relationship with, which I've had for 3 years now. I plan to keep this stuff for as long as possible, repairing it when I can, so I might as well use it whilst I've got it.

Oh yeah, and there's also the creative coding thing which I've (hand on heart) completely forgotten about for a very long time now, though I guess I could weave it in to my Final Major Project one way or another. Then there's also creating wacky websites with nothing more than just HTML and CSS, making it in the 1990's GeoCities style. So much to do, but so little time. So much time, but everything I want to do simply exits my mind when I've got all the time in the world. Weird how the mind works like that.

Ah well, I've gone off on a tangent, just putting my thoughts down, since there's not much else to do, but to just think about certain things, and seeing how it all goes. I guess this is essentially the most casual and informal way of goal setting and planning, but it'll do.