#i can't think of a single job i could do because human interaction is SO DRAINING for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suuuupernovaaa · 2 years

Text

kxuke

kxuke [ˈk’u.kɛ] adj. safe

Anonymous Request: What about Avatar reader x Neteyam with the "I won't say I'm in love" trope. The reader was part of Quaritch's team, but she got captured by the Sullys. She was under Neteyam's supervision, and they both fell in love slowly. However, they don't want to admit their feelings. Reader ends up betraying Quaritch's and fighting alongside the Sullys.

This would probably do better as a multi-chaptered story, so you may see it expanded as such in the future.

5.3k words

For two months, they've carried me from place to place, kept me in the dark, barely spoken to me. When I wake up, I'm back on base, but I have no information to give my team.

I can't see outside. I can't hear anything but what sounds like leaves blowing in the wind and birds chirping, even though I know it's not what I'd think of as birds.

Every morning, it's the same thing. The oldest Sully brings me something to eat, asks me if I have anything to tell him, and I say no. I ask if he has anything to tell me, and he says no.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I'm tired, I'm sore, and I smell terrible. I'm under 24/7 surveillance by one of the Sullys, and I'm pretty sure that soon, they're going to give up and kill me. After all, I'm the enemy, part of Quartich's elite squad, and there's nothing I have to offer them.

I know what they know: Quartich is hunting the Sullys, and he won't stop until he kills them all, even the children.

The solitude is wearing me down, and my team is growing tired of my uselessness. I don't know why they keep putting me back under every morning - but they do, hoping I'll have something useful for them. I never do.

It's another morning - can't say whether it's sunny, or cloudy, or rainy - and Neteyam arrives as he always does, but he's a little early, and I'm ashamed that he finds me crying.

I begged my team not to put me back here, not to let me spend another day in dark isolation, but they don't want the avatar - a hefty investment - to go to waste. If she doesn't wake up, the Sullys will definitely kill her.

Neteyam clears his throat, and sets the usual meal of fruit and bread in front of me.

"Thanks," I say.

He nods. He doesn't ask if I have anything to tell him, so I don't either. Then, he leaves. Wonderful. The only social interaction I ever get, and it's gone.

I spend the day as I always do - pacing, doing jumping jacks, stretches, and staring at the dark ceiling, wondering who's standing just outside, keeping watch.

As the sun begins to go down, I feel relief. Soon, I can close my eyes, fall asleep, and return to freedom. Though, it's starting to feel less like freedom.

I took this job because I didn't have anything else in my life, and I've always been a good soldier - but it's not like I really believe in Quartich. Sometimes, I've wondered if what we're doing here is even right.

Is the human race so important that we need to displace these people to continue? What good have we done, that we deserve that?

Unexpectedly, the flap to the tent, or pod, I'm in, opens up, and Neteyam steps through.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, standing up.

He holds a thick cloth out to me. "Over your eyes," he says.

My heart rate quickens. This is it. They're finally going to kill my avatar. I've heard it's unpleasant, dying in your avatar, and it isn't like you get to go back to your human body after. It's the end for both of you.

I have to admit, I'm also a little relieved as I take the cloth from him. The last two months have been exhausting, and psychologically damaging, and made me question every single choice I've made in my life.

I can't keep doing this, and I can't escape... so maybe death is the only way out.

After I tie the cloth securely over my eyes, Neteyam checks thoroughly.

"I can't see," I say, as if he would trust me.

He grabs my arm, and pulls. "Come."

This is it.

My feet touch sand, and then water, and I want to scream with joy. It's dark out, not that I could see anything anyway, and quiet. I don't hear anyone else around us.

"Water," I whisper. Neteyam keeps pulling me. Is he going to drown me in it? Could he maybe just let me... clean up a little, before he kills me? I don't want to die this dirty.

Neteyam grabs my hand, and places something in it. A small, wet sack.

"To clean," he says, and I hear a pistol cock. "Don't go far, and don't make noise."

Holy shit, he is going to let me clean up. Sure, he's going to hold a gun and watch me wash my naked body, but I'll take it. Without any hesitation or shame, I pull off the dirty tank top and shorts I've been wearing, and go deeper into the water. I scrub every inch of myself, even under the mask, and scrub my hair until my scalp burns. This is definitely an ocean, the salty water burns my eyes and my dry lips, but I don't care at all. It still feels so amazing.

"Oh, my god," I moan when I come up for air. "Thank you."

Neteyam says nothing, just grunts, and grabs my arm. "Come, we must go back."

I'm definitely naked, but Neteyam pulls me away anyway and honestly, the thought of putting those disgusting clothes back on makes me want to die, so I leave them in the ocean. I would rather be naked and clean.

Neteyam takes me back to my prison, and pulls the cloth from my eyes.

We stare at each other for a long moment. "Why?" I ask.

He shrugs, turns, and leaves. I see laying on the floor, some clothes - if you can call them that. The top is essentially a tube top, easy enough to put on, but the bottoms take me a little while longer to figure out, especially with the tail. But they're clean, and so am I, and I cry again.

That isn't the last kindness that Neteyam does for me. Late at night, when everyone else is asleep, he often returns, bringing me new clothes, food, even letting me wash once in a while.

After a couple weeks of this, I work up the courage to ask him why.

"You haven't told them where we are, or they would have come. And they keep sending you back. You must be... lonely."

I bite my lip. "I can't tell them. I don't know. They keep sending me back because, because I don't know, and they say, if I don't wake up here, you'll kill... her." I gesture to my avatar body, who is me, but not me. "Why haven't you killed me?"

"Mom and dad can't agree," Neteyam shrugs. "What's your name?"

It takes me aback that I've never told him that, and that he's never asked before. "Y/N," I reply.

"Why do you do what you... do? Why follow him?"

I look down. "Earth is bad, Neteyam. You have parents who care about you, right?"

He nods.

I shrug. "I never had that. I never had anyone. I just had the marines. And I was good at it, so they sent me here. I just... didn't have anywhere else to go."

Without another word, Neteyam leaves again.

I haven't told my team about any of this. I don't think I'm going to.

Neteyam keeps asking me questions, every day, about my home on earth, what happened to my family, what being a marine is like... and I ask him questions, too, about growing up on Pandora, about his family, but I'm careful not to ask anything about where we are. All I know is, we're by the ocean. That wouldn't be very helpful information, anyway.

I look forward to seeing Neteyam every day, more than I've ever looked forward to anything in my life. Just sitting and talking with him brings me more happiness than anything else I can remember, and it's equal parts upsetting and confusing.

I'm not sure where I stand, or where we go from here. I'm just a Sky Person, and an evil one... I couldn't possibly be someone Neteyam would want to be friends with, and I definitely couldn't earn the trust of his family, so what will become of me?

Will they still kill me?

Eventually, Neteyam isn't alone when he comes one afternoon. I expected this eventually, but I didn't expect it would be Neytiri, his mother.

It's our first time coming face to face, and in the dim light of my prison, she's terrifying - her wide, glowing eyes, staring down at me; she looks like an angel of death, beautiful and terrifying.

I want to shrink, and avoid eye contact, but my training won't allow it. I stand, shoulders back, returning her gaze.

"Almost four months, we've kept you alive," she says, standing tall and strong before me. "And now I know my idiot son has let you out. You could have told them where we are. Why haven't you?"

"I wear a blindfold," I reply, and glance over her shoulder at Neteyam. The air is tense, and he stares at his mother nervously.

"Bah, I'm not stupid. Tell me why you haven't told them."

She's right. What I've felt and heard outside these walls, it could give my team vital information - but I haven't even let them know I've set foot outside.

I glance at Neteyam again, and this time, she follows my gaze.

"It's my son. You care for him?" She wrinkles her nose, disgusted at the thought.

"No, I - I just... don't want to help them, I guess."

She looks me, head to toe, one more time, and then they both leave.

Something has to change. I feel I've lost control of my life, and I want just a little bit back.That evening, when I wake up on base, I give a disappointing report to my team, and then make my plans to leave.

There are countless outposts on Pandora where I could access a link remotely - a few that base can't track, because they're so remote that they had to be fully self-sufficient. All I need to do is pack a bag, and I can be on my way, but it will have to be on foot. Human foot.

Any vehicle that I can steal, they can track. And the forest is easy to navigate in my avatar body, but my human body is small and slow - not to mention, I'll be a target for every predator out there.

Still, I'd rather die in this human form than continue on the way I have. So, I pack my bag, and head out. No one really cares what I do at night anyway, as long as I link back up in the morning for another useless day of gathering zero intel.

It takes two days, which is much longer than I thought it would, and I just barely scrape through the jungle before finding one of the scientist's outposts.

There is a chance they'll find me here, but they'll have to search a long time to do it - and the team of avatars would have to fly back, and abandon their physical search for the Sullys, to do it. It doesn't seem like they'd make me a priority.

It's mid-morning when I arrive, dirty and hungry, and as much as I want to link to my avatar - who hopefully hasn't been sunk to the bottom of the ocean yet - I need to clean up, and eat.

As soon as I'm done, I put myself under, and pray it works.

It's moments before I wake up, and I'm disoriented when I do. I usually wake up in the dark, but this time, it's blindingly bright out. I'm not lying down in my lonely hut, instead, I'm speeding through the air, the wind whipping at my back, and Neteyam at my front.

My eyes take a long time to adjust, and my lungs take even longer to get in a good breath of air. I'm on Neteyam's Ikran, tied to him, face to face.

"What the hell!" I scream, and without thinking, wrap my arms around his waist. I'm not a pilot, so not really one for flying. In fact, heights really aren't my thing at all. I cling to him, taking in the scenery around me through wide, terrified eyes.

We're above the ocean, with nothing in sight as far as I can see, which only adds to my fear.

"You're alive," Neteyam responds, having to shout for me to hear him. "I wasn't sure if they'd killed you or not."

"I'll explain when we land," I yell in response, and he nods.

It's very strange, being this close to Neteyam. He's grabbed my arm, even pulled me along by my hand before, but now, I'm straddling him, sitting in his lap, a tight rope around my torso, holding me to him - well, it's purpose was obviously to hold my limp avatar to him, but I'm glad to have the security, nonetheless.

He stares ahead, focused on where we're going, and it allows me a little bit of time to think. Not about our situation, or the plan either of us has... but about him.

I can't deny the joy I feel at being here with Neteyam, and I'm not sure if I'm just glad to have woken up anywhere but my dark, lonesome hut, or if it's something more.

Abandoning my life back on Earth to come to Pandora pretty much guaranteed I would never enjoy a romantic relationship again. I'd never been interested in marines, ironically enough. And scientists certainly weren't interested in me. And that was kind of... it, here.

Except, Neteyam. A man my age. A man who has been taking care of the enemy, showing me mercy, visiting me every day, asking me questions about myself and listening carefully to the responses.

It's such a complex, confusing situation, and there was no way to know if it was just being the baseline of Na'vi decency, or if it was something more for him.

It's a long ride, and I have hours to think about all of it, and how hungry I am.

When we finally land, Neteyam hands me a bag full of dried fruits and meat. I take it gratefully, and ask him what's going on.

"When you didn't wake up, there was a lot of debate about what to do with your body. My mother wanted to throw you to the ocean, my father was starting to agree with her and I... didn't think it was right. So I offered to move you, to wait and see if you woke up, and to leave you far from where my family is if you didn't."

I chew on the tough, dried meat. "Oh. Why?"

Neteyam looks away, removing his poncho, and tucking it into his bag. "I do not want you to die."

I nod. "Oh."

"You tell me this - what do you stand for?"

That's not something I've ever been asked. The answer would have been easy four months ago. I was a marine, I had an assignment, and I was serving my country.

But now I know, I never believed in that. It was just something to make me finally feel like I belonged, but it wasn't something I truly wanted to belong to.

"Neteyam, I really don't know. I don't want to help the Sky People, and I won't do anything to harm your family, but... it leaves me, sort of in-between. Do you understand?"

He nods.

"And I, well, I do care about you. You don't have any reason to be this nice to me, to treat me this good. Why do you do that?"

He furrows his brow, looking as confused as I feel.

"I don't know," he replies.

I don't, either.

We set up a camp nearby, Neteyam hangs a hammock in a tree while I stand by uselessly, trying to watch and learn. He hunts after that, and insists I join, but as quiet as I try to be, I'm still too loud.

So, Neteyam finds a new purpose - teach me to hunt. And to fish. And to be like his people.

It's fucking hard. I always thought I was strong, fast and capable, but I'm nothing compared to Neteyam. I lag behind, I'm clumsy and slow, and it takes me forever to learn simple concepts.

Neteyam is endlessly patient with me, in a way I don't deserve, and as the days drag on, we both smile a lot more. We even find ourselves laughing, on occasion.

Neteyam likes to tease me about my lack of coordination, but it's easy to see that he likes teaching me, otherwise he wouldn't take such care to explain things the way he does.

These weeks in the jungle with him, they're the best of my life.

When I wake up in my human body at night, I can't deny how disappointed I am. It's messing with my head, how the tall, blue version of myself is starting to feel like the real me, and this small human feels like the imposter.

Eventually, I'm able to open up to Neteyam about this.

"My father, he asked Eywa to... to transfer him, into his avatar. He had the whole clan to help him, though."

"Why did she do it?"

"He was meant to be one of The People."

I consider that for a while.

It's been a couple weeks, just Neteyam and myself here, and I can't deny how I'm feeling any longer.

It makes no sense, for me to be in love with him, but I undeniably am. It's really stupid actually, to fall in love with someone under my circumstances, but I've always thought love was kind of stupid anyway.

So I make a request.

"Do you think... Eywa would let me stay, in this body?"

"Do you want to be one of The People?"

I bite my lip and think. "I want to belong to something bigger than myself, and I want it to be something... selfless. Something that doesn't demand I be something I'm not. And I want, to stay with you."

The corners of his mouth pull up into a smile. "I think she would let you. I think it's dangerous to try, without the clan, but if you want to..." I see the wheels in his head spinning. "We will need your human body, and we will need the tree of souls. At night."

We form a plan.

Neteyam carries my avatar in his arms, and I trail behind, very slowly, in my human body. It took us three days to travel back to the outpost where I was staying, and two more days to travel, the three of us, to the tree of souls.

We had to wait then, just outside, until it was deserted.

"You need to be sure," Neteyam says, towering over me as we wait in the wings. "If you are not sure, it will not work." He reaches out and puts a giant hand on my small shoulder. I wonder what he thinks of my dark skin, my curly hair, my frame and build... but I guess it won't matter much longer.

"I'm sure. And listen, I might die down there, right?"

He takes in a deep breath. "Maybe."

I nod. "Great. Well, listen, I might as well just say it then. I'm mostly doing this because Earth sucks, humans suck, and I don't want any part of it anymore. But I'm also doing it because, I think, I might be in love with you a little bit. So, I don't want to die without having said it. And I don't want you to say anything back. You can tell me how you feel, one way or another, if I wake up. Otherwise, say it over my grave."

I can tell Neteyam is trying not to roll his eyes - something he does often in my presence - so he just nods, and squeezes my shoulder.

When the coast is clear, we approach together, and Neteyam walks me through it. I watch him lay down my avatar body, and I lay similarly to her, our heads near each other.

I should be nervous, but I mostly feel calm.

Didn't I want to die just a month or two ago? And now here I am, with a second chance at life.

Neteyam begins to pray over me, and it sounds a little clumsy, but he's got the spirit. I close my eyes, and feel featherlight touches all over my body... and I drift off.

She closes her eyes, and Neteyam's heart squeezes in his chest.

He knows this is stupid. He's no Tsahik, and they need the full power of the clan to make this transfer... but that's not possible, and he doesn't see any other way to keep Y/N for himself.

He knows it's selfish, but he also knows that his mother allowed him to fly off with this woman, and that has to mean something.

Eywa will see how strong she is, how determined she is, and how much she deserves a true home. Every time Neteyam thinks about the stories she told him of her childhood, the neglect and the abuse, he has to fight back equal parts rage and incredible sadness.

He thinks of those months, locked in her mauri pod, barely any sunlight or interaction, and wonders how she survived - but now he knows, she survived worse than that at the hands of people who were meant to love and protect her.

Y/N seemed so strong at first, and she is, but he can truly See her now. Part of her is still that child, seeking love and confidence in another person, and he wants nothing more than to give it to her - his family's opinion on it be damned.

He prays hard, begging Eywa to give Y/N this one good thing in her life, finally, and waits for her to open her eyes.

It feels as if I drift off into a dream, into a very deep sleep, and when I open my eyes, I feel well-rested - I can't remember the last time I felt well-rested.

It isn't until I see Neteyam hovering over me that I realize what's happened. I tear my eyes from his to look down at myself - and see blue.

It fucking worked. It shouldn't have! We had everything against us - except Eywa, who granted our prayers.

Neteyam lifts me up slowly by my shoulders. It doesn't feel like when I link with this body from the lab; something about this feels different. I never felt fully settled in this body until now.

I turned to look at her - myself - and wonder if I should mourn. I think of all the mistreatment I accepted in that body, all the times I let myself be hurt and abused, and swear to myself that I will not let that happen in this new life I've been given.

"We need to bury her," I say.

Neteyam nods, and wordlessly lifts her up into his arms. I watch as he leans down, removing her mask, and placing a kiss on each of her dimpled cheeks.

"She is beautiful," he says, and my heart wells up into my throat, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

She is beautiful, and she deserves to rest now. It doesn't take long to find her a quiet resting place, and I shed a few tears for her as we cover her up.

"Goodbye," I whisper, wiping the dirt from my hands, and Neteyam joins me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Eywa has given you a new life. What will you do with it?"

I set my jaw and furrow my brow. "I will fight with you, and your family."

We make a long, hard journey back across the sea to Neteyam's family and the Metkayina. For the first time, with my own eyes, I see the place I was held captive.

It's beautiful, with white sand beaches and blue green water. It's hard to imagine how depressing and desolate this place seemed to me not that long ago.

We are accosted on the beach as soon as we arrive, and through the large gathering crowd, Neteyam's parents and siblings rush to us.

"What is she doing here?" Neytiri hisses, grabbing her son's arm. He pulls back from her, and reaches out for my hand, pulling me to his side as dozens of pairs of eyes watch.

"There is much to discuss. Y/N is not a threat to us. You must listen to me."

Neytiri hisses at me, and I stand silent and expressionless. Jake looks on, his expression somewhere between anger and confusion. He turns to another man, tall and imposing, covered in tattoos - it's very easy to tell he's in charge.

"We'll handle this," he tells the man, who nods, and Neteyam and I are pulled through the crowd and off the beach, to a set of mauri pods. I've never seen them before, but Neteyam described them to me while we were away. Without the door covered, they're light, airy, and beautiful.

We enter one of the largest ones, and Neteyam's parents turn to us. "Explain."

Neteyam takes a deep breath and does his best to tell them everything, starting with all I learned in the month we were away together, the way I dedicated myself to learning our ways - just like Jake did, when he first met Neytiri.

The comparison is clever, I have to give him that.

I don't know how I feel about what he says next, as he describes my life on earth to his parents. Neteyam is the only person I've ever shared that with, and it hurts to hear him discuss it so freely, but I understand why he's doing it. If they're going to spare my life, they might need to feel a little sympathy.

"Y/N deserves to be one of The People. She could have given us away and instead, she chose to abandon her people, and risk her life in asking Eywa to allow her to stay in this form. And Eywa has granted that request. I buried her human body myself."

For the first time, neither of Neteyam's parents have anything to say. Everyone stares at each other for a long, tense moment.

"I would never do anything to hurt your family," I say finally, stepping out from behind Neteyam. "I can't do anything but promise you that, on my life." I raise my hand to my chest, pressing it to my heart.

"You have passed through the eye, and return?" Neytiri asks.

Neteyam and I both nod.

"You swear this is true, son?" Jake asks solemnly. "You did this yourself? Just the two of you?"

"Impossible," Neytiri adds.

I shrug.

"Impossible, but we did it. Eywa willed it Herself. Y/N deserves to be one of The People."

"Lo'ak," Jake calls, and from just outside the mauri, Neteyam's brother enters. It's the first time I've laid eyes on him, though Neteyam has spoken of him often. Neteyam is all Neytiri, but Lo'ak is practically a carbon copy of his father.

"Take Y/N outside, we need to talk," Jake says, and I look to Neteyam with wide eyes.

He reaches out, taking my face into his hand, running his thumb over my cheek. "It'll be okay," he says, and I nod.

As I leave, I can't help but think, for the thousandth time, that I confessed my love for him, and he hasn't said a word about it since.

Lo'ak is clearly unsure what to do with me as we leave, so I recommend sitting on the beach. I haven't enjoyed the beach without a blindfold, and it seems like a relaxing thing to do.

Lo'ak agrees, and leads me through a mess of mauri pods down to the water. I plop myself down, digging my toes into the wet sand, and sigh.

"It's nice to meet you, Lo'ak," I say, trying not to sound too formal, as he sits beside me.

"You too. I knew my brother was sneaking you out, but he never let me join."

It's such a younger brother thing to say, and I have to smile. "He was really nice to me, and he didn't have to be."

"We were all surprised, when we found out. Neteyam always does whatever mom and dad say. He's like, the perfect son."

My smile grows wider. "I think he probably still is."

Lo'ak rolls his eyes, and then I see how alike he and his older brother look.

"Probably. If I'd done this, I'd be skinned alive right now."

For the first time that day, I allow myself to truly laugh.

Neteyam joins us on the beach what feels like hours later, and Lo'ak beasts a hasty retreat after clapping his brother on the back.

I grasp the hand that Neteyam extends to me, and stand to look at him, brushing the sand off my thighs.

"Well?" I demand.

"That was rough. They're pretty mad about what we did but, they admitted they didn't really have much of a reason to be, besides me risking myself by going back to the Tree of Souls. They can't argue with Eywa, really. She wouldn't have done this for us if it didn't benefit the balance of life. You're meant to be one of us. My mom isn't happy about it, and my dad doesn't really get it but... you're not going to get any trouble from them. It doesn't mean they like you, especially my mom, but, she'll come around eventually."

I had been holding tension in every single muscle in my body, and at this news, everything relaxes all at once.

It feels as if a war is over. I get to stay in this body, and I get to stay with Neteyam. A wave of euphoria washes over me, and I close my eyes tightly, trying to keep the tears away.

"That's good news," I whisper.

"They especially couldn't argue when I, um, told them that I'm in love with you, and intend to make you my mate."

Mate.

That means wife, to him. And they don't have divorce here on Pandora.

My eyes open in a flash. "You do?"

"If you'll have me," he says, with a shrug and a very small smile. He seems more nervous now than he did earlier, facing his warrior-goddess mother.

In my entire life, I have never known stability. I have never been truly loved, cared for, or had anyone that I could trust. No one has ever tried to put in the effort to gain my trust, and certainly not my love.

Neteyam and I met as guard and prisoner. I was a threat to his family, and to his entire way of life, and still he went out of his way to take care of me. He risked everything for me.

No one has ever shown me that level of commitment - except the marine corps, who wanted my life in return.

Neteyam wants nothing in return. Neteyam loves me, and I know he will take care of me every day for the rest of our lives.

So the commitment isn't scary. It's welcome. It's a relief. It's a warm hug after coming in from the cold. It's everything I have ever needed and didn't think I'd ever be fortunate enough to receive.

The tears are falling freely now, and Neteyam reaches up to try and wipe them away, but they won't stop.

"I love you, Neteyam Sully. I never want to be away from you, not a single day, for the rest of my life." I can barely get the words out through sobs.

He reaches out, pulling me into his arms, hugging me so tightly it almost hurts.

"I will take care of you," he whispers in my ear, "the way you deserve. I promise you this."

With no doubts, I believe him. I will do whatever it takes to keep my mate safe, and I know he will too.

Tag List: @nhloversblog @itsemy01 @eringaitskill

#neteyam #Neteyam fic #neteyam x reader #avatar 2 #avatar twow #this is the longest fic I have written for this blog #holy crap

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violetarks · 2 years

Note

hey! could I please request fem relationship headcanons with angel devil with a half devil half human s/o? <3

"you are more beautiful by far..."

anime: chainsaw man

character: angel devil

summary: how he would be in a relationship with a hybrid devil.

warnings: afab! reader, she/her pronouns, second person pov, headcanons

there are two ways you are meeting

one: you work with the public safety division, and you met him when your work first got him under their control

two: you were captured by the public safety division and met him through your first day under makima's watch

but either way, you're getting close to angel and he isn't really complaining

okay maybe he did

the first time

you were working together to capture another devil, and you just didn't seem as enthusiastic to be doing such a thing

he was annoyed that you were taking about him rather than actually working to finish the job

but you were strong, and he could give it to you, you were also pretty funny at times

maybe that's why he decided to give you a chance

he'll never know why he started liking you so much

you were just so sweet and oh so charming and he had to try pretty hard not to show any interest in whatever you were saying

him hiding a smile behind his hand as he listens to you compliment his wings, offering to help get the twigs out after the job was done

angel turning his head so you didn't see the faint blush on his cheeks after you had given him the bed for the night, just out of the goodness of your heart

once, you told him he looked pretty and he asked why you thought so and you shrugged

he made sure to stay five feet away from you so you didn't see the dumb smile on his lips

there's a chance that you two met before you became a hybrid

he would have to get used to this change

maybe your personality shifts, or you start to view things differently, he would notice

asks every few days if you're feeling okay during the change

if you say you're feeling fine, then angel is glad that you don't feel pressured

he enjoys your attitude most days

you can be carefree, or cautious to the point where angel is glad you're able to spot every single detail

if you admit that you don't feel okay, then he's sitting next to you and listening

he's not able to say much, but you enjoy his company, as you've stated plenty of times

so he knows that just sitting here beside you is enough to make you feel even just a bit better

missions would be rather hard to focus during

you like talking to angel any chance you get, just to have a conversation or a reason to be so close to him

but depending on the person, that could change

if you're both partnered with someone like makima, then you're keeping your words to a minimum

angel thinks its strange how little you talk around her

but as soon as she's let the two of you go for the day, you're chatting away

he'll admit, it was a good refresher, hearing your voice

thinks your voice calms him down, even if he isn't a very violent person because of his power

being partnered with people who talk as much as you, like himeno or power, leads to angel mostly listening to you two speak or simply standing in between you both so he can 'feel' a part of the conversation

include him when you notice he's staring at the ground, or his wings begin to furl

having being monitored by aki, kobeni and/or denji is either a hit or miss

they might dial down the conversation or make it even longer

either way, angel gets a little annoyed with how they interact with you

could be too friendly for his liking, or they dismiss you so many times that you just decide not to speak

he recognises your strength, so he can't help but get a little distracted when you're fighting alongside each other

tho he gets jealous a lot through work

you're helping kobeni and carrying her to safety, and angel is behind you grumbling curses

sidenote: only jealous with how many times you've had to save her, both in and out of your devil form, and she's just a shy damsel in distress, it would be rude not to save her, right? angel sometimes wishes kobeni had stayed home for the day

you pushed aki or denji out of the way of danger, angel stepping to the side and saying it was easy to avoid

aki or denji will regard you with a thank you and angel seethes

he generally feels this way because he can't touch you

really wants to, you look so warm and you say your hands are cold, and all he can do is offer some gloves

that's the main thing he struggles with

wants nothing more than to hold your hand

you had tackled denji out of the way of falling debris when he was low on blood, and angel heard from him that you were very warm

angel: "really?"

denji: "yeah, 's like fire"

angel: "oh"

denji: "she's kinda' always warm, you can feel it when she's standing right next to you"

angel: "okay"

denji: "'s a shame, ain't it?"

angel: "shut up"

he longs to hold you, wants to know what its like to touch you skin to skin

the most that has happened is you bought some gloves to hold hands with him

always wearing a large sweater to hug him

you kiss over his clothes

shoulder, wrist, anywhere covered

he thinks you do it bc you know he hates not being able to touch you

but he isn't complaining

if your power requires you to be very careful around him as well, then he is fine with taking extra precautions

admires your work, even more so if you need to wear a different uniform to contribute to your power

if you're a well-known hybrid, he'd be open to hearing stories from other people

aki and himeno talk about things they've heard, power rants about how she's superior to you no matter how many people you are feared by, and denji is clueless

kobeni stated that where she's from, you are a nightmare, so it's strange to see you be so nice and witty when you were in your human form

violence and beam might know a few things to share

angel doesn't like talking to makima, but when she introduced the two of you, she mentioned a history of events in your folder

if your devil form is far different to your human form, he doesn't really care

tho, he enjoys seeing you smile, so he favours your human form

watches you change if you're comfortable with that

will sit on your bed and stare while you gather your clothes for bedtime

it's like a reward

seeing you finally rest and wash yourself up after a days of hard work

you could say the same thing about him, but angel knows that you do more action than him since your powers work different

your bed is covered in thin blankets so you can use them while cuddling angel

he's wrapped in a few like a burrito, and you curl into him and hold him from behind

a kiss to his covered shoulder will send him to sleep

wants to be the one to hold you from time to time

has once, layered himself so many times that he felt like a plushie and you fell asleep so fast

if you face him while you sleep, he's watching you for at least an hour, memorising every detail

not to get morbid and sad already

but deep down, he knows that there's a chance you could die

in your human form, if anybody were to end you then amd there with no start-up to your devil form, it would truly be over

you would die and he would be there left to grieve

he hates that the most, that because you are only half-devil, you are more vulnerable

so he shields you from what he can

deliberately allows your opponents to touch him, or he jumps in front to accept the punch, so you get the upperhand

they're startled, and you are quick to turn to offense

you thank him, even kiss the top of his gloved hand, for all he's done for you

and he feels a pinch of sadness

he doesn't know how to explain it to you

you're everything to him, and every now and again he becomes more afraid than ever to lose you

a sinking feeling in his chest, unknown to him

you were strong, why would he worry?

he will never know nor understand why he feels the way he does

it's strange enough, but angel indulges

he feels so strongly about you, that even questioning it made his head turn

it wasn't like the way aki had talked about makima, no nothing like that

you were just so dangerously infatuating

you made him feel welcome, the possibility of him rejecting you meant that he felt unwelcome

you were the sweetest thing in the world

#angel devil #angel devil x reader #angel #angel x reader #chainsaw man angel #chainsaw man angel x reader #csm angel #csm angel x reader #chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #csm #csm x reader

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hyenahunt · 6 months

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Obbligato: Epilogue - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: HiMERU, Tatsumi

Proofreading: Remi (JP) & honeyspades (ENG)

Translation: Peace

HiMERU: (I believed every one without question, priding myself in having such a wonderful little brother — in Kaname — without a second thought.)

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Time: Present day.

Location: On the stage for the filming of COMP's promotional video performance

HiMERU: ( — My warning came too late.)

(We vastly underestimated the resentment of the Non-Special Students, who had been persecuted at the time.)

HiMERU: (I wish I could rationalize why, say that I wasn't able to read the air as well as I should've been able to due to being unable to do much from my base abroad...)

(But if I had truly wished to protect my brother, protect Kaname, then I would have been there for him.)

(He is my family — I should have dropped everything to be at his side. Sooner, before everything came to an end.)

(I will always regret not doing so.)

HiMERU: (I believed every word of my brother's reports, even though we hadn't interacted before then.)

(I vainly assumed that, because he was my brother, that he would be just as brilliant as myself.)

(However, Kaname was the opposite. Every step was a misstep and, not wanting to be scolded, he covered each one well.)

(Everything he said to me was nonsense, merely dressed up to appear otherwise.)

HiMERU: ("This job was a huge success!" "I'm flawless, without parallel." "Nothing's wrong." — He'd repeat these claims over and over again, but every one was a lie.)

(A lie a desperate child might make so that his guardian wouldn't abandon him.)

(I couldn't see through those lies. I believed every one without question, priding myself in having such a wonderful little brother — in Kaname — without a second thought.)

(I will always regret not doing so.)

(I was an idiot.)

Tatsumi: In thinking over the memories we're to speak on for COMP once more—

There's hardly anything we can record, isn't there?

HiMERU: You knew that from the start, Tatsumi.

An unbelievably cruel social disparity. Rampant discrimination, bullying rife with violence — a thriving cult-like group who called the catacombs home.

And at the end of everything, a riotous fight broke out.

There is not a single thing in those memories we could boast about to society. No, not a single person would want to enroll in Reimei Academy if they heard of it.

Tatsumi: There were happy, fun moments as well, as few as they were.

Certainly, those days were my youth.

HiMERU: Prettying it up with cathartic words like "youth" won't change the fact it was Hell.

Additionally, that incident that ended your youth — it absolutely can't be publicized.

It has already been dismissed as a simple scandal, a story long forgotten.

There is no one who'd like to dig it up now.

Tatsumi: You know, I always wondered about what happened at the end. I still don't quite understand it to this day.

— "Do you remember that Akehoshi?"

The day that HiMERU-san and I formed our unit, a video with that mysterious line began to play in the auditorium.

HiMERU: It reminds HiMERU of the past SS. No, perhaps they used that video once more as it proved successful in destroying your rebellion.

Even in death, “that Akehoshi” keeps on causing problems for the industry. No wonder he’s a taboo subject.

Tatsumi: You mustn't speak ill of the dead. There are no religious connections to that, it's simply human decency.

Tatsumi: In any case, once that video began to play, the Non-Special Students who had gathered climbed the stage in a frenzy.

Then, before we could stop them, they cursed HiMERU-san and began to assault him.

The teachers turned a blind eye. The Special Students, who were obliged to HiMERU-san and held him high as their representative, didn't help him either.

I thought such violence was wrong, and I went to stop them—

But I failed, and before I knew it they had struck me off the stage.

HiMERU: Mm. And the Special Students, who had thought you such an eyesore, took advantage of the situation and assaulted you as well.

It truly was a nightmare. A scene straight out of Hell.

Tatsumi: Yes. Naturally, I don’t like to recall what happened back then.

You and I were hospitalized, seemingly without any hope of recovery... It's a miracle we are able to stand here as we do today.

You especially, HiMERU-san, as I got off quite lightly compared to you.

HiMERU: Hmph. HiMERU is resilient, that's all.

HiMERU: (What a joke. Truthfully, the damage that was done to Kaname cannot be undone — he's still in the hospital to this day.)

(He remains in a near-comatose state, waking only to scream incoherently.)

HiMERU: (My little brother was destroyed, torn to shreds by hatred and brute force.)

(Trampled by idiots, he's still suffering in agony at rock bottom.)

(Even though he hadn't done anything wrong.)

[ ☆ ]

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #hyenahunttl #s: obbligato #tatsumi kazehaya #himeru

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mermaidsirennikita · 7 months

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ARC REVIEW: This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ryan

4/5. Releases 3/5/2024.

Vibes: heroine-forward, single parents, finding yourself, and discovering a person who actually *sees* you

Soledad lives the affluent good life in Skyland--though she certainly relies emotionally more on her friends than her husband, Edward. The mother of three girls, she's a planner, a fixer, and the model wife. Which is why her life is so thrown into chaos when she discovers the depths of Edward's secrets--secrets exposed by his coworker, Judah Cross. At first, Soledad resents Judah for his part in the downfall of her perfect life... But as she rebuilds and rediscovers who she is independently, she finds herself growing closer to the man who's never seen her as a pretty object on a pedestal.

Both of Kennedy Ryan's Skyland books have been deeply emotional and focused on tough, realistic subjects (though they certainly aren't without humor and fun drama). This Could Be Us is definitely more heroine-forward than Before I Let Go, which I found to be more of a balanced heroine and hero's journey. That's not a critique--Soledad's a compelling, likable heroine I was instantly rooting for, and that never let up. And that's not to say that Judah isn't a hero; we see his POV, and Kennedy maps out a rich backstory for him.

I'd call this one a sort of blend between women's fiction and romance. You do get all the romance beats, and the story does center Soledad and Judah's love story. It's a slow burn with simmering tension from the moment they meet--and they do in fact meet and initially feel that tension before Soledad recognizes the depths of Edward's betrayal, and that tiny hint of dirtybadwrong is delicious. But I would say that the novel centers Soledad's individual journey just as much, and definitely more than it centers Judah's. If you're looking for a book that really makes you feel that sense of like... I don't know. Maybe A Waiting to Exhale vibe? With much more romance? This could be exactly what you want.

Quick Takes:

--Personally, I really like having someone truly hateable in a romance novel, and I kind of feel like a lot of recent releases have sort of let up on having a hardcore dickwad who just needs to go die in a fire. Well! Kennedyn certainly did let me down with Edward! The guy is a Grade A jackass, and I think the novel does a great job in the beginning of showing us how certain men can wear a woman down over the years without raising a hand against her. And in fact, because physical violence doesn't happen, emotional violence and neglect is excused because we as women have been societally conditioned to think "well, at least he doesn't hit me".

In general, I've thought a lot over the past few years about the grossness and the less-critiqued epidemic of men who just can't fucking stand being with women that shine. That's what you see here. Soledad is everything--beautiful, caring, talented. Not flawless; she's deliciously human. But she's far above her stupid husband, and rather than just being happy that he punched above his weight and won, and enjoying the woman he managed to catch, he's constantly trying to bring her down to his insecure level. Dude, that is so real, and so awful.

I kind of had a feeling pretty early on that I knew where Edward's damage was going, and you don't wait long to find out about it. But there was another thing on top of it that just made so angry for Soledad. Which speaks to the investment I had in the story, right?

--I do think.... and this is me being someone who loves a dirtybadwrong read... that while Kennedy set a strong pace by having Edward's misdeeds revealed early on, we could've used a bit more time and interactions between Soledad and Judah when she's still fully in her marriage. There's an immediate spark between them, and having some of that tension build while she's truly forbidden fruit would've been fun.

--In contrast to how shitty Edward is, Judah's ex-wife, Tremaine, is lovely. She's not a conventional ex-wife/single mom figure, and I so appreciated that on several levels.

And the thing in romance novels and the romance-reading community.... There's a real fear of depicting exes, especially female exes, in a positive light. Like, I know there are bloggers who will categorize Tremaine as an "other woman/OW" simply because she slept with Judah in the past. Never mind that she was in fact fully married to this man and had two kids with him, and has now fully moved on and supports him as a co-parent in moving on as well.

I just really loved seeing this positive but realistic depiction of co-parenting. It was also kind of a fun contrast to Yasmen and Josiah's co-parenting relationship in the previous book, as they were very clearly still in love, and Judah and Tremaine are very clearly nOT.

--A big part of Judah's side of the story is that his twin boys are both autistic. I am not an expert on the spectrum by any means, and I can't speak to the accuracy of that. Kennedy does discuss her research in a note, and it seems like she made a big effort (and she has an autistic son herself). Just wanted to call that out for curious readers or reader who hear about this but are uncertain about the perspective from which she's coming.

The Sex:

This is a sloooow burn. As in, no kissing until about the 70% mark. I'll admit, I did kind of want some action before then, but the sexual tension is great. It's just a different take than some of the other Kennedy books I've read.

After that point, you do get a few very good scenes. I really loved that one aspect of Soledad's relationship with sex was getting over some really shitty things Edward said about her body and made her feel, and the worshipful way in which Judah treated her was super great in that respect.

Also, always nice to see people who aren't like... 20-30... having hot sex in a romance novel!

While this was a slower-moving and more women's fiction-adjacent book that I expected, it's still an absorbing and deeply effective story. I really enjoyed reading about Judah and Soledad's love story, and it's definitely a great story for those who need something that meets them where they are in a journey of rebirth. Don't we all need that sometimes?

Thanks to Netgalley and Forever for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

#romance novel blogging #netgalley #arc reviews #book recs #book reviews #books #romance novels

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velkyr · 10 months

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Get to know me - tagged by @wazzappp, ty! 💜

under the cut cause it's a longer tag game

Nickname: I don't have as many as I had when I was going by my birthname, but I like Z :) it's fun to be called a single letter. that's my part of the alphabet now.

Sign: libra sun / sag moon / libra rising. look I don't really put any stock in astrology - I'm just here for the vibes - but I do find it funny how I got assigned double libra at birth and can't make a fucking decision to save my life

Height: 152cm/4' 11"

The last thing I googled: 'xcode manually added framework support x86 and arm64'. it was a rough day at work

Amount of sleep: probs like 6 hours on average when I'm not going through a rougher patch of sleep issues. otherwise it varies from 3-8

Dream job: to have no job and dismantle capitalism ❤ nah but really in an ideal world where I could do whatever and study to do it. I would want to work with animals. mostly birds. I just wanna work at a bird sanctuary or do ethical/educational falconry or something. give me a job where I get to hang out with corvids every day and I think that would fix me.

Favorite song: hardest question of all time. right now? this:

youtube

Movie/Book that Summarises Me: 'summarises me' is a hard one. I don't tend to interact with media from a lens of relatability aside from latching onto specific characters. if it can be interpreted as 'summarises my tastes' there are a fair few things I can list out though!

the locked tomb - tamsyn muir

six of crows duology - leigh bardugo

priory of the orange tree - samantha shannon

the ballad of sir benfro - j.d. oswald (dragon high fantasy vibes that I've never seen replicated anywhere else, where a displaced dragon is the perspective character for a lot of the series)

the memoirs of lady trent - marie brennan (she's a victorian dragon naturalist in a world where dragons are on the cusp of becoming part and parcel of the ecosystem rather than myth. it's SO good)

the handmaiden

scream series

pacific rim

alien

deadass anything directed by edgar wright

Favorite instrument: I'm always gonna have a soft spot for percussion/drum kits because that's what I used to play. but purely on the basis of sound? probably bass guitars. their range is unmatched, they can be tuned up to drive a melody as well as the bassline, and the Crunchiness of good bass just fucks so severely.

Aesthetic: the word aesthetic really grinds my gears given its usage and tiktokification in recent years lmao so I'm not sure how to answer this one. if we're talking like, personal preference in style, it's... well, goth-lite? masc-leaning goth with an emphasis on ye olde genderfuckery

Favorite authors: tamsyn muir, samantha shannon, marie brennan, sarah waters, derek landy, mxtx

Random fun fact: uhhhhhh did you know that people with coeliac disease have a genetic mutation affecting the HLA (human leukocyte antigen) protein, which causes it to bind with gluten in the body, signalling to the T cells that gluten is a foreign body that needs to be attacked - but they end up attacking the gut itself instead, destroying parts of it? the human body is so fucking dumb fr. at least I get to joke that I'm a mutant

tagging anyone that made it this far <3 mwah

#tagged in

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frasier-crane-style · 11 months

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Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is a blockbuster so uncreative that it has two separate skybeams in it

Actually, what it really reminds me of is The Forbidden Kingdom, you remember, that movie where Jackie Chan and Jet Li finally teamed up, only it was all focused on some douchey kid? This is the same thing--the Autobots and Maximals finally team up!--only it's all about some douche. Because representation.

I'm serious. The Maximals are barely in this movie. The Autobots aren't in it much more. But we get a lot of this random dude, whose sole characterization is that he's from Brooklyn. Brooklyn! He's from Brooklyn, you guys!

Could it be? Are these characters in... GASP... Brooklyn?

There's also this chick, who delivers each line like she just bit into a sandwich. It makes you miss the days of Michael Bay. Sure, the actresses he cast couldn't act either, but at least they weren't 5/10. Let's admit it--the CGI model is hotter.

The plot makes no sense and is cobbled together from older blockbusters, which slightly made sense. Unicron--you know, Galactus for robots?--eats the Maximals' homeworld. He's trying to get today's MacGuffin, the Transwarp Key, which the Maximals hide on Earth in prehistoric times. Earth: The Transformers' junk drawer. Is there a single fucking widget those damn bots own that they haven't stashed here?

Now, Unicron wants the Transwarp Key because it will allow him to travel to other planets and eat them. The Autobots want it because it will let them go home to Cybertron (this movie is in continuity with Bumblebee, when they all left Cybertron).

This compels a few questions. How did Unicron get to the Maximals' planet if he can't already travel through space? Why can't the Autobots just return to Cybertron the same way they got to Earth? The movie says that Unicron is 'trapped in another galaxy,' presumably since the Maximals left, which I think the movie says happened a couple millennia ago. This seems like a short amount of time to devour every world in a galaxy, since Unicron says that he's starving--maybe he can only get around at sublight speeds? In which case you have to wonder why he can't travel FTL, but his minions can easily make it to Earth. Shouldn't Unicron be able to travel in the same manner his minions do?

Anyway, you know what all this means. Our heroes have to find two halves of the plot coupon*. The bad guys get the plot coupons instead and use it to summon up the worse guys with a portal, allowing for an endless stream of faceless CGI hordes. Rhinox has no lines.

*("This is some Indiana Jones shit," our Brooklyn protagonist from Brooklyn helpfully notes, since the movie is desperately trying to do MCU style meta humor--lots of characters talking about how silly it is that they are interacting with giant space robots)

The movie even rips off the scene from The Avengers where Loki astrally projected to talk to Thanos. Same exact visuals and everything.

Also, it's Representation now, so the first twenty minutes are about how our protagonists are oppressed by jerky white people who do evil, oppressive things like refuse them medical treatment unless they pay their hospital bills and not give them jobs because their references are bad. Which makes it unintentionally hilarious that Brooklyn guy is the first minority lead in a Transformers movie and the first protagonist to meet his Autobot buddy by grand theft auto instead of buying a car. Brooklyn!

The movie also really wants you to know that just because the Maximals came to Earth in prehistoric times, doesn't mean they created the Nazca Lines or anything. Which, bizarrely, is done by the archaeologist lady saying they must've created the Nazca Lines and Optimus Primal saying that humans did it. So... I guess she's racist for assuming Indigenous people couldn't create the Nazca Lines? It's one of those daft moments meant only to do numbers on Twitter.

Oh, and GI Joe shows up at the end. It's supposed to be one of those 'Samuel L. Jackson meets Tony Stark' moments, but that Snake Eyes movie flopped (and the movie is set in the 90s for no reason, so anyone they get would be retirement age if they did a movie in the present day), so they just give Brooklyn guy a business card that says GI Joe on it. That's the big surprise cameo. A business card.

#transformers

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alicesought · 1 year

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{{ I haven't used the headcanon banner in a while whatever sure this is a headcanon--

Jervis and Joker have an interesting relationship I feel completely off screen, but he must have, right?

My personal Jervis' relationship with any Joker non-withstanding lmao--- In many canon interactions, jervis often can passively stay around Joker, follow his lead, talk to him casually, complain to him about being bored, and most notably... in every single instance, as far as I know but correct me if I'm wrong, where Joker is in some sort of full civil war situation, he sides with Joker. And I just think that's interesting! For one, he's the only one in the Dork Squad to do that lol.

And I thought about it like- why would he do that, why does he not even side with another villain over Joker,, and I guess ultimately, when push comes to shove, when the rogues are pushed to absolute extremes in their perspective, Joker is the only villain with an ideology that allows for the continuation... of Tetch's existence. I mean, even in non-joker war situations he just chooses the side that will quickest lead to him being left alone. Anything opposing Joker is aiming for order, an order of a kind, and Jervis can't exist in any other order except his own or enough chaos that he can slip through the cracks. I could see this realization leading him to making sure the right person kills batman or even keeping batman alive. He needs either the status quo or his very specific Wonderland control. He'll bite any hand that tries to reform him and his natural behavior not only breaks the law but is noticeably disruptive for any attempt at reforming Gotham. You cannot put him back in his colorless day job, you cannot make him use his skills to help people, and you cannot stop him from chasing Alice. There is One(1) specific way he wants to behave and he will not tolerate being told otherwise. Because he has no real political opinion, he's not a misguided extremist, Jervis is simply inherently anti-social, even if he's too insane to really understand why that's so bad.

BASICALLY- Jervis and Joker have a very compatible ideology, if only to an extent. I'll always argue Jervis is a more comprehensive depiction of human madness than Joker, but I'm biased-- but I imagine Jervis has an neutral empathy with Joker and doesn't find his behavior that off putting because of it. Even with mine, and I feel like mine's habit of easily being made to laugh at lame jokes makes for an easy audience for the guy lol.

Even with Harley and Joker, many imagine the reason Harley was friendly toward Jervis is because Jervis never questioned why Harley was in love with Joker, love is mad and all that. ( God-- what if modern Harley is so bitter towards Jervis is actually because he used to accidentally enable her bad relationship, lmao listen he was just trying to be supportive-- but that's another ramble dshkgds-- ) }}

#🐇 ◆◇◆ || ₙₒ ᵣₒₒₘ₋ ₙₒ ᵣₒₒₘ! || { o.o.c. }#🐇 ◆◇◆ || ᵢ cₐₙ’ₜ ₑₓₚₗₐᵢₙ ₘyₛₑₗf ᵢ’ₘ ₐfᵣₐᵢd ₛᵢᵣ... || { headcanons. }

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imabiscuitinthousandworlds · 1 year

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Headcanon time!!

Because I'm the only one writing about Jean DeWolfe (so far, imma convert some people just you wait) I can do what I want. So I've started heaping up headcanons. Credit also to my beloved spouse (@haveyoueverconsideredpiracy) and my friend/beta because they not only listened to my rambling but participated despite not knowing a single fucking thing about DeWolfe OR marvel noir. I love y'all.

The comic is set in 1933, and Jean looks about 40 years old, realistically. That means he would have been around 20 when WW1 broke out, and probably would have been enlisted. He's definitely a war veteran. I've decided that he's gotten away pretty well (...relatively) because he's one of the lucky ones on whom speech therapy was tried (cannot remember the term back then but i have Found Evidence) and he's had ~10 years to get over the worst symptoms of shell shock (PTSD in modern language)

his training/actual job at the FBI actually helps him balance that trauma out actually by adding more trauma

listen i'm not a psychologist we'll just keep it vague okay

he is absolutely incapable of normal human interactions. might have to do with the couple of years he spent isolating himself (it's the trauma babyyy) because no one he'd had a close bond with before going to war could even somewhat understand what he went through

this includes his best friend because i've decided that said best friend died in the war (look i'm sorry but it has to be)

(actually peter sometimes reminds jean of that friend)

jean is gay

don't ask why. i'm queer so all my blorbos are queer. let me have this as i said i can do what i want nobody can contradict me here, including canon bc canon said nothing

he's hella closeted of course. it's the early 20th century. he spent his late 20s/early 30s having a prolonged existential and sexuality crisis (he's convined that it's too late already for a mid-life crisis since that would imply he'd live to 50+ of which he's not convinced) until finally accepting it as a fact

he's never gonna have a relationship (bc trauma and also i think he's married to his job) but sometimes he likes to sit in a gay bar and just see people like him living and loving for once

ever since he watched the spider almost being killed by the sandman he's actually rethought his stance on vigilantes - they can get to places/people the fbi can't, spider is def just trying his best, and also spider is very much mortal *and* owes jean his life which is definitely reassuring

he has used his buzzer before to get a group of racist assholes to stop harassing poc. he usually doesn't involve himself but he's canonically very much not racist which is pretty fucking cool for the time (everything at the time was horrible tbh) and i love that okay

he has absolutely complained to higher-ups about corrupt cops or similar things he noticed, to no avail

every time he enters a (gay) speakeasy off the job (he has decided that when he's off the clock harmless crimes don't rly count bc u gotta draw a line somewhere) he absolutely has to stop himself from going all prohibitionist fbi agent

nobody who regularly works with him can remember ever seeing him without his hat

#not ALL of these are pulled out of thin air and thats pretty cool i think #very few make sense but thats overrated anyway #jean dewolfe #marvel noir #i need to convert people #but if nobody gonna fill that tag then ill do it myself #a biscuit's rambles #my fics

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notsp1derman · 1 year

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other musings: why one piece should never be adapted into live-action

There is a certain trend lately of adapting unusual pieces of media to live action, and while I usually don't give a fuck, this time it touched something very dear to me, which is One Piece. I could spend hours here talking about my love for this saga and how this is just another consequence of capitalism and the urge to just squeeze out every last drop of money out of everything, but after the trailer for the new Netflix series dropped I just had to vent about something simpler. And boy do I have opinions about this.

Despite its very real portraying of very human problems such as racism and political instability, One Piece is, at its core, an absurd manga. The characters have such ridiculous mannerisms, the proportions are so exaggerated, and there are interactions so unserious that it can be even quite jarring at first; but hidden in its straightforward and sometimes nonsensical narrative is a masterful and ingenious thought process by Eiichiro Oda. Everything is a tad over-the-top, from the cartoonish style of the characters to the attention for detail in the backgrounds, in order to compose an universe that looks magical and whimsical but feels cohesive, realistic in some way. And it's through this exaggeration that Oda manages to convey so much emotion, and still make his readers feel such strong connections to his creation, even though it's far from our real world.

Those hyperboles are a vital part of what makes One Piece one of the most unique works of fiction ever made, and one with such a strong personality, at that. So when forced to accept the heavy burden of making a live-action series of the best selling manga of all time, producers are faced with two choices: either to try and capture this absurdness as best as possible by being extremely loyal to the source, or to make adaptations to the characters and the world to make it a bit more realistic and appealing to the public.

And the thing is, there will never be a right answer to this. Being too loyal to the source would make it a ludicrous farce, and taking liberties would create something too different from the thing everyone already knows and loves. So Netflix chose the path of creative liberty, and the price paid was a stiff, void, and most importantly, uncanny take on something that should never be brought to the real world at all.

Don't get me wrong, I have much love for the cast and believe they are doing a great job, but unfortunately the feeling of just... wrongness will never fade, no matter the approach. The colorful characters feel like people in bad costumes, the special powers just feel weird, the colors feel wrong and the world doesn't feel vast, just empty. One that got me thinking a lot was Buggy. Of course, he was one of the most unserious characters of the whole manga, but even he was a bit intimidating at the beginning, and had his moments to shine. Live-action-Buggy is just some weirdo in a bright blue wig that looks like a sad cosplayer, and I can't take him seriously no matter how hard I try.

So what about the more bizarre parts of the cast, like Hannyabal or Blackbeard or just the overly huge Admirals? What about the huge sea monsters or the weird fish people of Arlong Park? The latter parts of the manga go without saying, because I seriously doubt the live action will get renewed for one more season. How can we expect any of this to be remotely close to the joy we feel reading or watching the original work?

And I think that's the whole problem with live actions from anime. The freedom to bend reality that is possible within the realms of manga and anime just will never be translated well into something so western as a modern tv show. These boring adaptations suck the soul out of the original source, and manage to transform even the most expressive and heartfelt ideas into uncreative remakes without a single ounce of personality, and it will be forever depressing to see it happening to yet another thing so well made like One PIece.

#manga #anime #one piece #eiichiro oda #one piece manga #other musings #one piece live action #op live action #op #i swear no shade to anyone involved in production #its just literally impossible to get something good out of this mess

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 2 years

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Bmt, I really like your blog and your perspective, specifically wrt BTS and fandom dogma, so can I get something off my chest? Something that has seemed pretty obvious to me since at least 2017 but would be tantamount to heresy if uttered aloud? Ok, here goes:

Jungkook and Taehyung are not friends, they're just coworkers. And sometimes it seems like Jungkook just tolerates Tae.

I could list a bunch of instances over the years as proof, but I'm pretty sure part of why they addressed their relationship on In the Soop is because the fandom had started to notice and OT7 Best Friends 2GETHA 4EVA is part of their brand.

And let's face it, that Taekook VLIVE during the pandemic was fucking brutal.

I think Jungkook has been trying to be friendlier with Tae ever since, both because it's good to get along with your group and because playing up his friendship with all the members is literally part of his job.

But when ARMYs talk about Tae and JK as if they're super best friends who are so sweet to each other, half the time they'll attach a clip where JK is literally rolling his eyes or snapping in annoyance/irritation.

Which is baffling to me!

I'm sure there are other relationships in BTS that aren't as chummy as they'd have us believe, but I think this one in particular is super obvious. So obvious that their shippers had to concoct an entire counter narrative to explain it.

Which makes it even crazier that ARMYs basically made it taboo to talk about!

Yes anon, you can get that off your chest :)))

I think this discussion doesn't really need to revolve around if you're completely right in your assessment of their friendship or not. I do agree with you, given the In the Soop talk, that brutal vlive (it was one of the most awkward hour of vlive that I've seen any BTS members ever do), but I personally haven't been paying the utmost attention to every single taekook interaction so I can't exactly pin point the year when things started to change. What I did observe was indeed the fact that their behavior changed compared to the shenanigans they're were up in the first few years as a group.

What I do want to talk about is the heresy of uttering something about taekook and how indeed is more of a taboo topic. It's about the fandom having different standards which is indeed crazy given the fact that Jungkook has explicitly said, in his own words, that him and Tae did have a different type of relationship, especially after they started being on their own. That is a fact, not some conspiracy or fans being insecure and making speculations. Of course shippers didn't believe that because they either don't know how friendships work or they're being purposefully obtuse for the sake of their fantasy. Having a laugh and engaging in skinship is something taekook has always done, regardless of when they were closer or not. But that is the main argument used to dismiss anyone who even dares to say anything. To this day I still don't understand how so many people in the fandom are acting as if they lack complete experience in the human relationships department. We can have friends with whom we have fun, we can have others friends with whom we share more personal stuff, we can be closer to them in different ways. Not all friendships look the same and that's not bad. We can be just coworkers and have a really good time. It's absolutely fine. No one needs to come and say that it's a bad thing.

I've talked about this before, but I do think that Tae and Jungkook are quite different with very few common interests and lifestyles and that's something that can be a factor in friendships and spending time together. They don't even share common friends, it's obvious how they're part of different social circles. So why is this something that shouldn't be talked about? Even without any speculation, we all have eyes and we all can see how they act with each other in BTS released content. They are friends/coworkers, but perhaps not the best/ closest friends in the group.

I don't know if taekookers have such a strong hold on the fandom at large that it influences the way in which army talks about Tae and Jungkook, but if that's the case, I think it's also combined with the fact that Army usually would reject any idea that BTS are not the tightest friendship group. Of course that this debate takes a different form in shipping circles. No one is allowed to say anything about taekook because somehow it would downgrade their bond (a phrase used for all ships which I'm tired of hearing) so no other shipper would even mention anything that it's not about how ''they're the cutest''(which I think it's a default safe answer but they do try too much sometimes out of fear of backlash). But here comes the double standard once again, because not guessing a fact during trivia game or not posting a photo on IG is a clear indication that two other members in the group are definitely not close anymore, they stopped being friends, regardless of the fact that their friendship and closeness has been a constant throughout the years. And the common factor here is always Jimin. I didn't read anything about Jimin not being friends with Tae, no one is questioning their friendship and the soulmate status.

#bmt asks #bts friendship #bts friendship dynamics #bts #t*eko*k

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soundsfaebutokay · 3 years

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youtube

So I've recc'd this video before, but it deserves its own post because it's one of my favorite things on youtube. It's a Tedx Talk by comics writer, editor, and journalist Jay Edidin, and I really think that it will connect with a lot of people here.

If you live and breathe stories of all kinds, you might like this.

If you care about media representation, you might like this.

If you're neurodivergent, you might like this.

If you're interested in a gender transition story that veers from the norm, you might like this.

If you love the original Leverage and especially Parker, and understand how important it is that a character like her exists, you will definitely like this.

Transcript below the cut:

You Are Here: The Cartography of Stories

by Jay Edidin

I am autistic. And what this means in practice is that there are some things that are easier for me than they are for most people, and a great many things that are somewhat harder, and these affect my life in more or less overt ways. As it goes, I'm pretty lucky. I've been able to build a career around special interests and granular obsession. My main gig at the moment is explaining superhero comics continuity and publishing history for which work I am somehow paid in actual legal currency—which is both a triumph of the frivolous in an era of the frantically pragmatic, and a job that's really singularly suited to my strengths and also to my idiosyncrasies.

I like comics. I like stories in general, because they make sense to me in ways that the rest of the world and my own mind often don't. Self-knowledge is not an intuitive thing for me. What sense of self I have, I've built gradually and laboriously and mostly through long-term pattern recognition. For decades, I didn't even really have a self-image. If you'd asked me to draw myself, I would eventually have given you a pair of glasses and maybe a very messy scribble of hair, and that would've been about it. But what I do know—backwards, forwards, and in pretty much every way that matters—are stories. I know how they work. I understand their language, their complex inner clockwork, and I can use those things to extrapolate a sort of external compass that picks up where my internal one falls short. Stories—their forms, their structure, the sense of order inherent to them—give me the means to navigate what otherwise, at least for me, would be an impassable storm of unparsable data. Or stories are a periscope, angled to access the parts of myself I can't intuitively see. Or stories are a series of mirrors by which I can assemble a composite sketch of an identity I rarely recognize whole...which is how I worked out that I was transgender, in my early thirties, by way of a television show.

This is my story. And it's about narrative cartography, and representation, and why those things matter. It's about autism and it's about gender and it's about how they intersect. And it's about the kinds of people we know how to see, and the kinds of people we don't. It's not the kind of story that gets told a lot, you might hear a lot, because the narrative around gender transition and dysphoria in our culture is really, really prescriptive. It's basically the story of the kid who has known for their whole life that they're this and not that, and that story demands the kind of intuitive self-knowledge that I can't really do, and a kind of relationship to gender that I don't really have—which is part of why it took me so long to figure my own stuff out.

So, to what extent this story, my story has a beginning, it begins early in 2014 when I published an essay titled, "I See Your Value Now: Asperger's and the Art of Allegory." And it explored, among other things, the ways that I use narrative and narrative structures to navigate real life. And it got picked up in a number of fairly prominent places that got linked, and I casually followed the ensuing discussion. And I was surprised to discover that readers were fairly consistently assuming I was a man. Now, that in itself wasn't a new experience for me, even though at the time I was writing under a very unambiguously female byline. It had happened in the letter columns of comics I'd edited. It had happened when a parody Twitter account I'd created went viral. When I was on staff at Wired, I budgeted for fancy scotch by putting a dollar in a box every time a reader responded in a way that made it clear they were assuming I was a man in response to an article where my name was clearly visible, and then I had to stop doing that because it happened so often I couldn't afford to keep it up. But in all of those cases, the context, you know, the reasons were pretty obvious. The fields I'd worked in, the beats I covered, they were places where women had had to fight disproportionally hard for visibility and recognition. We live in a culture that assumes a male default, so given a neutral voice and a character limit, most readers will assume a male author.

But this was different, because this wasn't just a book I'd edited, it wasn't a story I'd reported—it was me, it was my story. And it made me uncomfortable, got under my skin in ways that the other stuff really hadn't. And so I did what I do when that happens, and I tried to sort of reverse-engineer it to look at the conclusions and peel them back to see the narratives behind them and the stories that made them tick. And I started this, I started this by going back to the text of the essay, and you know, examining it every way I could think of: looking at craft, looking at content. And in doing so, I was surprised to realize that while I had written about a number of characters with whom I identified closely, that every single one of those characters I'd written about was male. And that surprised me even more than the responses to the essay had, because I've spent my career writing and talking and thinking about gender and representation in popular media. In 2014, I'd been the feminist gadfly of an editorial department and multiple mastheads. I'd been a founding board member of an organization that existed to advocate for more and better representation of women and girls in comics characters and creators. And most of my favorite characters, the ones I'd actively seek out and follow, were women. Just not, apparently, the characters I saw myself in.

Now I still didn't realize it was me at this point. Remember: self-knowledge, not very intuitive for me. And while I had spent a lot of time thinking about gender, I'd never really bothered to think much about my own. I knew academically that the way other people read and interpreted my gender affected and had influenced a lifetime of social and professional interactions, and that those in turn had informed the person I'd grown up into during that time. But I really believed, like I just sort of had in the back of my head, that if you peeled away all of that social conditioning, you'd basically end up with what I got when I tried to draw a self-portrait. So: a pair of glasses, messy scribble of hair, and in this case, maybe also some very strong opinions about the X-Men. I mean, I knew something was off. I'd always known something was off, that my relationship to gender was messy and uncomfortable, but gender itself struck me as messy and uncomfortable, and it had never been a large enough part of how I defined myself to really feel like something that merited further study, and I had deadlines, and...so it was always on the back burner. So, I looked, I looked at what I had, at this improbable group of exclusively male characters. And I looked and I figured that if this wasn't me, then it had to be a result of the stories I had access to, to choose from, and the entertainment landscape I was looking at. And the funny thing is, I wasn't wrong, exactly. I just wasn't right either.

See, the characters I'd written about had one other significant trait in common aside from their gender, which is that they were all more or less explicitly, more or less heavily coded as autistic. And I thought, "Ah, yes. This explains it. This is under representation in fiction echoing under representation in life and vice versa." Because the characteristics that I'd honed in on, that I particularly identified with in these guys, were things like emotional unavailability and social awkwardness and granular obsession, and all of those are characteristics that are seen as unsympathetic and therefore unmarketable in female characters. Which is also why readers were assuming that I was a man.

Because, you see, here's the thing. I'm not the only one who uses stories to navigate the world. I'm just a little more deliberate about it. For humans, stories formed the bridge between data and understanding. They're where we look when we need to contextualize something new, or to recognize something we're pretty sure we've seen before. They're how we identify ourselves; they're how we locate ourselves and each other in the larger world. There were no fictional women like me; there weren't representations of women like me in media, and so readers were primed not to recognize women like me in real life either.

Now by this point, I had started writing a follow-up essay, and this one was also about autism and narratives, but specifically focused on how they intersected with gender and representation in media. And in context of this essay, I went about looking to see if I could find even one female character who had that cluster of traits I'd been looking for, and I was asking around in autistic communities. And I got a few more or less useful one-off suggestions, and some really, really splendid arguments about semantics and standards, and um...then I got one answer over and over and over in community after community after community. "Leverage," people told me. "You have to watch Leverage."

So I watched Leverage. Leverage is five seasons of ensemble heist drama. It's about a team of very skilled con artists who take down corrupt and powerful plutocrats and the like, and it's a lot of fun, and it's very clever, and it's clever enough that it doesn't really matter that it's pretty formulaic, and I enjoyed it a lot. But what's most important, what Leverage has is Parker.

Parker is a master thief, and she is the best of the best of the best in ways that all of Leverage's characters are the best of the best. And superficially, she looks like the kind of woman you see on TV. So she's young, and she's slender, and she's blonde, and she's attractive but in a sort of approachable way. And all of that familiarity is brilliant misdirection, because the thing is, there are no other women like Parker on TV. Because Parker—even if it's never explicitly stated in the show—Parker is coded incredibly clearly as autistic. Parker is socially awkward. Her speech tends to have limited inflection; what inflection it does have is repetitive and sounds rehearsed a lot of the time. She's not emotionally literate; she struggles with it, and the social skills she develops over the series, she learns by rote, like they're just another grift. When she's not scaling skyscrapers or cartwheeling through laser grids, she wears her body like an ill-fitting suit. Parker moves like me. And Parker, Parker was a revelation—she was a revolution unto herself. In a media landscape where unempathetic women usually exist to either be punished or "loved whole," Parker got to play the crabby savant. And she wasn't emotionally intuitive but it was never ever played as the product of abuse or trauma even though she had survived both of those—it was just part of her, as much as were her hands or her eyes. And she had a genuine character arc. My god, she had a genuine romantic arc, even. And none of that required her to turn into anything other than what she was. And in Parker I recognized a thousand tics and details of my life and my personality...but. I didn't recognize myself.

Why? What difference was there in Parker, you know, between Parker and the other characters I'd written about? Those characters, they'd spanned ethnicities and backgrounds and different media and appearances and the only other characteristic they all had in common was their gender. So that was where I started to look next, and I thought, "Well, okay, maybe, maybe it's masculinity. Maybe if Parker were less feminine, she'd click with me the way those other characters had." So then I tried to imagine a Parker with short hair, who's explicitly butch, and...nothing. So okay, I extended it in what seems like the only logical direction to extend it. I said, "Well, if it's not masculinity, what if it's actual maleness? What if Parker were a man?" Ah. Yeah.

In the end, everything changed, and nothing changed, which is often the way that it goes for me. Add a landmark, no matter how slight, and the map is irrevocably altered. Add a landmark, and paths that were invisible before open wide. Add a landmark, and you may not have moved, but suddenly you know where you are and where you can go.

I wasn't going to tell this story when I started planning this talk. I was gonna tell a similar story, it was about stories, like this is, about narratives and the ways that they influence our culture and vice versa. And it centered around a group of women at NASA who had basically rewritten the narrative around space exploration, and it was a lot more fun, and I still think it was more interesting. But it's also a story you can probably work out for yourselves. In fact it's a story some of you probably have, if you follow that kind of thing, which you probably do given that you're here. And this is a story, my story is not a story that I like to tell. It's not a fun story to talk about because it's very personal and I am a very private person. And it's not universal. And it's not always relatable, and it's definitely not aspirational. And it's not the kind of story that you tend to encounter unless you're already part of it...which is why I'm telling it now. Because the thing is, I'm not the only person who uses stories to parse the world and navigate it. I'm just a little more deliberate. Because I'm tired of having to rely on composite sketches.

Open your maps. Add a landmark. Reroute accordingly.

#Jay Edidin #LGBTQ #autism #mind and body #gender norms #why humans need stories #Leverage #Parker #Abby posts Leverage #my faves #Youtube #I did my best with the transcript #sorry for any mistakes

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the-ghost-king · 4 years

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So I'm not going to start like an Anti-Chiron tag because I don't find that enjoyable personally, but every so often people ask why I dislike him so here's essentially a "masterpost" of my thoughts on that situation for when anyone asks, just so I have it to explain some...

This isn't nearly a full list, and there's many more "incidents" that make me less than fond of Chiron, I don't hate the old man but he leaves a bad taste in my mouth and I'm not a fan of that. He's a very twisted character.

- The Lightning Thief

This quote is literally just after Percy's mom "dies", they're all sitting on the porch of the Big House right after he's finally woken up after days of sleeping, and that's the line Chiron pulls out on him.

That's straight up emotional manipulation which was entirely unnecessary in the context of what Chiron was trying to explain. There wasn't a single reason for that, in the slightest.

Immediately following that, and Percy, who canonically has anger issues, does his best to remain calm, he is immediately threatened by Dionysus, and Chiron doesn't even tell Dionysus off for doing that; Chiron just let's it happen. It's Grover who has to speak up to tell Dionysus off...

The only reason Chiron comes out looking like a old guy in this scene is because Dionysus was so much worse in his behavior, at one point intimidating Percy with his power over madness.

- The Titan's Curse

This is the aftermath of when Nico ran away upon confirmation of Bianca's death. When Percy is telling Chiron about the situation, Chiron wishes Nico had been eaten alive rather than recruited into an army.

He'd rather a child be dead than fight against him, and he openly tells this to other children he's in charge of. If Percy went missing would he have said "I hope he was eaten <3" as well?

I don't blame Perry for not delivering the truth here, it was done in an effort to protect Nico; which wasn't something Annabeth had planned on doing... I don't blame Annabeth for that though either, she's been beneath Chiron so long that she probably doesn't realize the shady stuff he does, and to her "going to tell" probably was the "right" move because she was a child...

But the fact that Chiron believes Nico truly would be better off eaten than alive :/

- Tower of Nero

This quote from Tower of Nero shows that Chiron lied to a bunch of young children (most of them were young because the older campers are largely dead because of the war or too old for camp now). It wasn't just a little white lie that adults sometimes tell kids either; they were walking into battle and he told them it was a field trip.

Did he even begin to explain the danger he was putting these kids in? Did the children understand their situation? And how dangerous it was?

Kayla has been blindsided over the years into thinking that telling children they're going on a field trip instead of fighting a battle is something to make a joke of and not be questioned... (Again, I don't blame her she's only like 12 in the book, but still)

Apollo also agrees, which isn't on Chiron but it's a whole mother reason why I can't stand Rick's interpretation of Apollo...

<><><><><>

This isn't me being like "oh Chiron is the worst most evil character ever" I just think that he has numerous flaws which are largely ignored in favor of the "perfect wise teacher" narrative when in fact Chiron and Dumbledore share a lot of.. Offputting qualities.

I do think that some of the situation is simply a result of Chiron having his hands tied behind his back by the gods some. And he even goes so far as to confirm this in a scene of TLT

However many of the scenes in which he exhibits behaviors like that in my first three screenshots are not related to anything the gods require and are, in fact, of Chiron's own free will.

Some things I would blame Zeus and the council for, such as how he withholds information from Percy to an excessive amount for long periods of time even when Percy straight up asks about things. I could easily see that being Zeus trying to prevent Percy from claiming the prophecy as his own, and I could see reasoning that maybe Chiron had sworn over the River Styx or something similar.

But those things don't apply to Chiron making such an unnecessary comment about Percy's mother so close to her "death". It doesn't explain why he would say he hoped Nico had been eaten out loud, and it doesn't cover the fact that he led children into a battlefield without telling them that's what was happening.

I think the context of Chiron's choices and comments would be different if the campers were older. If they were in their late teens or early twenties for the most part, I wouldn't really have much to say about how Chiron handled the situation.

But this man is in charge of children and extremely young teenagers, Percy is only 12 in TLT, maybe if he would have been 16 or 17 then I could give Chiron a pass, but he wasn't. Within the context of the comment he made in the Titan's Curse, Percy is only 14 and Nico is 10 at the beginning of the book... You don't wish a 10 year old had been eaten alive by a monster no matter how bad you think the alternative is, and if you do wish that you don't say it out loud to a group of other children. In the battle from Tower of Nero we get a quick look at the battlefield, and although Ben's age, and the age of another girl fighting alongside him are never confirmed they are implied to be fairly young, and we know Kayla is only 12 at the time too; yet Chiron told them it was a field trip instead of a battle, limiting the time they would have to mentally prepare themselves for what was coming.

On top of that, the nods the reader gets to the fact that Chiron can't act out against the gods depletes over the course of the series. After TLT the amount of times the situation involves the gods interfering with what Chiron is allowed to say lessens, and by the time the Heroes of Olympus series comes around, these limitations on his speech is almost entirely gone. Yet as seen in Tower of Nero he still does morally questionable things in regards to how he treats the campers.

Like I said, I recognize that in many scenes Chiron's hands are tied behind his back because of the gods.. But there are undeniably things he does of his own free will that are, in the nicest manner, very :/

This also isn't a full list of comparisons just a few notable scenes. I don't think Chiron is equally as bad as Dumbledore, but I think it undeniable that Chiron has some significant flaws built into his character design.

A good character has flaws, and there's nothing wrong with having a character that doesn't always conduct themselves properly or have good intentions- it's actually good writing, and I can appreciate that, but for some reason I find myself personally rubbed the wrong way by Chiron. This doesn't make Chiron badly written, or poorly designed, in fact I would say Rick's Chiron is very well designed in lots of ways, but I just don't like how it's never acknowledged by anyone in the series.

Like I said, I'm not starting an anti-Chiron situation, I just think little events like those mentioned, the way he's built a child army, and how he doesn't even try to plead with the gods over raising the ages on campers being allowed to battle is a little sus. But it more so bothers me that there's no attention payed to this problem anywhere in the books, not even by a side character or Luke, nowhere.

I don't actually care that much and this isn't that important to me, but sometimes people ask why I don't like Chiron and this is basically just my explanation to hand off to them... It's not even so much that I dislike Chiron entirely, he's well written and has his "good" moments, I just don't like the way other characters interact with him and his actions.

It's more a personal beef with him rather than an aspect of poor writing or him "being bad"... PJO in general (and HoO/ToA to a much lesser extent) shows that there's not such an inherent good vs bad in the world, and that sometimes people are victims of circumstances in some situations, or they're horribly misguided in their actions, but the series does a good job of showing those people as human still, and I applaud that.

I don't really know how to tie this up in its entirety, but there's nothing wrong with having a morally grey character who does questionable things and in many aspects it is good writing. I think Chiron is a result of Rick not thinking through the implications what he's doing in lots of situations, and I can see a fairly consistent drop in Chiron's characterization from PJO-ToA which is consistent with most other aspects of Rick's work.

I also want to clarify that if you like Chiron and disagree with me, that's absolutely 110% okay, I just personally dislike Chiron and that's on me. Like my problem with many of Rick's other immortal characters, I think he missed important aspects of them in some manner and slightly (or entirely in some cases) mischaracterized them in comparison to their original myths.. Some of these characters he came around on and fixed their character in many aspects to their more "correct" characterization (like Hera), while others (like Chiron and Apollo) he never quite figured them out. Which is a running complaint I have with Rick so I'm just adding this to his tab.

But yeah, I don't hate Chiron I just dislike him and those are different things, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have a morally questionable character, Chiron just personally rubs me the wrong way and I just wanted to explain that more fully because I've been asked about it multiple times.

Also I apologize for not adding a [read more] to this, it's a complaint of mine often when scrolling through the tags but I'm on mobile currently and don't have immediate access to a computer so~

#pjo #Hoo #Chiron pjo #percy jackson #long post

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