#i can't remember which i called ot

[d011zk1ll]

Hey guys I'm supposed to be asleep but I'm still thinking about what @carpetbug said earlier and only thought it fair to expand. (I made feline blue and Mao have that blue stuff so you can see the eye shine shit better)

This was the conversation. If you weren't already aware 😭😭 it's so silly

[inbabylontheywept]

can we get more security clearance stories? they are amazing

Yeah, sure. Remember how getting contractors in to perform regular to the maintenance is basically impossible? One of the issues that we have is that the roof is kind of fucked. Like, in the newer sections, it's fine, and in the older sections, it leaks and we just have big barrels to catch the rainwater, and in the oldest sections there are actual holes. Which is crazy, because the oldest sections are where a lot of the tests happen. Those are almost always the most important parts of the facility. And the holes have been a problem for a while, but it is only "recently" (the last ten years) (yes, that is recent in government time) that the holes got big enough to fit birds.

So we have been getting birds into our secret facility.

This causes several issues.

The first issue is that, surprisingly, the people here are gentle, and they don't like seeing birds die. Some of the old hands are pretty jaded about it, and they have tennis rackets that they used to use for uh... bird removal. But the newer batch threw a fit when they suggested that, so now we have to make a big ordeal out of getting the birds out of the building. And if I sound bitter about it, I'm not - I am one of the people that said absolutely no bird smashing. But it is much easier to catch a bird than it is to just smack it out of the air.

(Another layer of difficulty is the whole "working in a labyrinth" thing. The birds have a lot of places to run.)

The second issue is that sometimes we can't get the birds out, and they die in weird places. This isn't just sad - it makes the test areas smell bad for weeks afterwards, and a lot of us spend the majority of our working hours in those locations. So it's sad and gross and stinky.

And the third issue, which is actually kind of the worst, is that government knows about the "perimeter leaks" (IE, large holes in the ceiling) and instead of fixing the holes, they put extra security measures in place. You know, in case spies climb in through the holes. Which means that, unfortunately, instead of getting the holes fixed, we got a state of the art alarm system, complete with motion detection lasers.

So the birds get in, and we actually can't leave until they get out, because they will, and have, and frequently do, trip the alarms. And when the alarms trip, people get called in to check the site and confirm for the 10,000th time that no, it's not Russians: It's birds.

It's always birds.

(Some of the techs actually kind of enjoy those calls during the weekends, because it means free overtime where there's literally nothing asked of them. Getting the "bird alarm" call is just 4 hours of OT where you check the test cell and confirm, no spies, just birds, then sit there and play checkers or read or whatever until the airforce base calls back and says that it seems safe enough for you to go home.)

(Engineers like those calls less, because we don't get time and a half, and we also don't need the cash quite as much as the techs do.)

Anyway, the crazy scenario is when it's like, 30 minutes to quitting, and a bird gets in. Because now we can't leave until we get the bird out. And the scene that happens is actually quite pretty.

So, the first thing that will happen is that there will be yelling downstairs. The downstairs people are always irate about birds getting in close to quitting. The anger is directed vaguely at the bird, and vaguely at the government, and more specifically at whatever absolute fuckhead bought us an alarm system instead of fixing our roof.

The majority of the crowd of grousing engineers and techs will then move into the upper offices. A couple will break off to grab the floodlight and shine it down the stairs, a few more will prop the doors open, and someone will venture back into the basement to turn off the light.

Click, the light goes off, it's dark, there's this big, warm, yellow pool of light just dripping down the stairs like a river of melted butter, and there's a crowd of tennish people + whoever is poking their heads out of the office to watch. No one will be breathing at all... and then, 9 times out of 10, a little bird will flit out of the basement, up the stairs, towards the light, and trigger the apocalypse.

Everyone chases the bird.

The goal at first is not to catch the bird. That's very difficult, and none of us have very good hand eye coordination. The goal is to thunder along and keep the bird from sitting down and having a breather.

We are there to exhaust the bird.

It is just accepted that this thundering herd will go wherever the bird goes. If your office door is open, and the bird flies in, it doesn't matter what reports you're filling out, or what phone call you're on - you are expected to deal with the panting and scrambling and general primal chaos of the hunting party until the bird goes somewhere else. Eventually, the bird will slow down enough that someone can catch it. This is a semi-coveted position, because, yes, you do get to hold a bird in your hand. And holding a bird is a wonderful thing. They are so soft, and so small, and you feel so careful with the poor thing. But also, it will bite you. Always. And the birds out here bite like needle nose pliers. It hurts so bad. I have been the guy holding the bird before, and it's this kind of beautiful scene again - to be standing there, hands cupped gently around this thing that is chewing the fuck out of the squishy webbing between my thumb and my palm. Tears streaming down my cheeks, surrounded by my little hunting party, that is telling me how much further until the nearest exit, opening all the doors for me. Hushed in the silence as they acknowledge my sacrifice. Inspecting the chomps afterwards and giving their opinion on how long it will be until it stops hurting.

I'm getting a little lost in the sauce here and don't really know how to end this. It's a really good job. Wouldn't be half as fun if it was run in a sane and competent manner.

I'll make this into a post at some point.

[kairiscorner]

hihiii pookie :DD!!

tw// mentions of depression

i'm wondering if you could maybe write a comfort fic about miles 42 with a reader who hates asking for help even when theyre clearly suffering in silence because they were taught to just 'suck it up' and deal with it alone as a kid?

you dont have to write this if you dont feel comfortable with it <33

Thank you pooks :33!!

hi pooks @jrrantss <:DD oh man, okay so i was kind of that kid back then too (though i was a big crybaby) it's like the adults around me didn't fully comprehend why i was feeling the way i was, so in response to that, they basically condemned crying at home or in front of them. i'm sorry if you went through something similar or, hopefully not, something worse ;-; i hope this provides you some comfort, and in a way, might also let you know you aren't the only one going through stuff like this. i'm here for you pookie, all the time <:)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you can be honest with me. – miles 42 x reader (angst + comfort)

nothing went your way this week, hell, you couldn't even remember a week in your life when anything felt right, when you didn't feel that you were holding yourself back from letting go of everything that felt wrong, awful, and just... painful. you were too good at keeping secrets, too good at lying about how you really felt; and that was something you hated about yourself, how you found lying as your first nature, not your second. you lied to people when they'd ask you if you were doing okay, if your day was going alright–you always gave them the answers they want to hear, that you were fine, that nothing was wrong.

but when everything just comes crumbling down, and the cracks in your facade begin to show and become more obvious... you get more and more defensive, more and more angry, more and more... scared and worried about these feelings that are hurling themselves at you so quickly that you can't even begin to understand why they're affecting you so badly–why people can see the bare you now if you just turn your face to look at them or open your mouth to speak; and your boyfriend was the first person to see you this way, vulnerable, yet trying all you can to avoid that vulnerability while you're crumbling down.

"hey," miles calls out to you in a soft voice as he sees your back turned to him as you kept working on your assignments, hunched over at your desk with your brows furrowed together and your lips curved into a scowl. you had been avoiding him for a few days now–at least he thinks you might be avoiding him–and have acted very distant, very... out of it recently. you didn't turn your head around to face him, which prompted him to continue talking, hopefully so you could find a reason to face him and his worried eyes. "you've, um... you've been busy lately." "uh-huh." you hummed as you tapped the end of your pencil against your desk impatiently, racking your brain for the answer to the questions written down that all seemed to blur together as the shittiness of the previous days just irritated you even more, and the worst part was... you couldn't hide the fact you can't mask ot anymore.

miles' face contorted as he got more and more worried about you, not knowing why you were acting starkly different than the usual you, or the only you he was familiar with. he extended his hand out to you as he walked over, looking at your cluttered up papers on your desk and the smudged up marks on the paper from your erasures. "...is something wr–" "everything's fine, i'm fine, i'm just peachy!" "you don't sound very convincing." he said, his voice returning to his nonchalant, cool tone as he took a small glimpse at your face before you turned away from his field of vision.

he sat in the chair next to you and wrapped his arm around you in an effort to comfort you. "cielo, sonething's up with you. are you... are you sure you don't wanna let me help?" he asked you with a soft voice, hoping he didn't overstep any boundaries as you slowly turned your head to show him a bit of your face. there were tears in your eyes, though you didn't dare let miles see them fall down your face; there was a sob stuck in your throat, but you didn't dare let miles hear it escape your lips. you had been there before, being severely troubled for more things than just homework–but never had you been advised to do anything than the age old phrases you've heard all your life as a kid: 'get over it.'

you took in a deep breath and tried to tell him what those words you've exhausted yourself from saying all the damn time–that you don't need any help, that you've got this, that you're okay... but your body's betraying you right now. it's betraying you for turning your back on your own feelings, but that... was never your fault, never. as you let out the breath you've been holding in, the hot tears came streaking down the ends of your eyes, your scowl morphing into a sad frown as you felt yourself slowly come undone and all the raging thoughts in your mind boiled down into one thought right then and there: 'fuck no, i am far from okay'.

you had one tear come down, then two, then... a whole waterfall of tears came pouring down your eyes as you finally released that sob you had been desperately keeping in. you had released it out into the air as it mingled with miles' shushing and gentle whispers as he held you while you leaned against him, wailing as you tried telling him how nothing had been right lately. you choked out in broken cries how you desperately wanted a way out of everything horrible that's been happening but you didn't want anyone else to be bothered by your 'stupid, insignificant problems'.

"i just... want to be okay... but i can't even pretend to be okay for at least one damn day." "please, stop pretending, mi vida. it's hurting me how you... how you think it's strength to rake up everything by yourself... when you clearly need help." miles said with a cracked voice as he felt himself choke up at your melancholic state. you cried even more out of guilt that you saddened miles, but he kissed your forehead, cheek–your whole face as he murmured words of reassurance, of love, to you to calm you down and comfort you. "you're not alone, not anymore... i don't care if some idiots in your life want you to deal with alone, never to bother them–you're never a bother to me, got that?" he mutters to you as he holds you close, letting you sob into his shoulder, your sobs getting louder and louder all the while. he shushes you and rubs your back gently, kissing your wet cheeks as he keeps reminding you that no matter what you're going through, what problems you're having, he's always going to be there for you–be the help you'll need, one way or another.

"please, don't be scared, mi vida... you can be honest with me. i promised to love you with all my heart, protect you, and... always be the help you'll need."

he whispered to you as he looked into your eyes and gently wiped your tears away and leaned his forehead against yours, hoping you would be more lenient, more understanding towards yourself and your own needs; and that you wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. because even if you don't ask him to, he'll be there to help you, be there to guide you, be there to comfort you the best he can. because he loves you, and knows you deserve more than what you think you deserve, that you deserve... the best of the best, and nothing less.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv @conitagray

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom family :) Thanks for being so patient with me. I know I have till January but I am moving/slash road tripping at the end of Sept to a new state. Which is a HUGE change. Going two time zones ahead and everything. So wanting to get it out there before I move and have even less time LOL Also thank you for wanting to take this journey with me. S6 was hard on all of us.

Haven't had a show rock me this hard in a very long time. So I'm forever grateful for the love and comments these in depth reviews get. Never want to take that for granted. This was a ROUGH season to say the least. But I’m excited to dissect it with decompressed eyes and somewhat healed shipper heart. Be lying if I was saying it was fully healed. But was a much needed break for me. Let us begin shall we?

6x01 Strike Back.

Premiere starts off with a literal bang. They’re all trying to figure what is actually happening. The mastermind clearly not the man they just took down in Luke Moran. Also loving how scruffy Tim is in this first shot of the premiere. The stubble all over that gorgeous jawline of his. Mmm. Delicious dusting. Love to break me off a piece. Wouldn't be a review if Feral Caitlin didn't make an appearance would it? ha God he's beautiful I can't help myself. This is his fault really.

Anyway back to matter at hand.... Lucy points out Luke may have been a patsy for the real crime. Diverting all their resources to this this one spot instead of their real target. Our girl always being the brains and Tim being impressed by it. They go hand in hand. You know that man loves her brain. Her intelligence is just one of many reason's he fell in love with her. Fun to watch her flex it I have to say.

There’s so much to love about these shots in the shop with them. The Metro call sign being one of them. It does things to me. It’s just sexy. Also the automatic way she’s paired with him in this moment. Like anyone else would be in that car with him but still. Ever the packaged deal. Just the little things I always love so very much. They don’t share shops anymore. So this is a treat. Riding together, brainstorming, and just being the bad ass team they always are in the field. Makes my shipper heart happy to see it.

After the Federal Reserve mayhem we skip 6 weeks into the future. I always wondered what happened in those six weeks with our ship. Probably nothing massive tbh. But be fun to know what shippy goodness could’ve occurred. I imagine they had some time off after that. Spent it together and decompressed from the madness. Just a nice thought to think about is all. *cough fic writers cough.*

We start off our cuteness with Lucy in Tim’s office studying. There’s so much to love about this scene it’s unreal. Let’s start with Lucy taking residency in his office like it’s hers. Knowing it’s a quiet place for her to retreat to. Also I’m sure Tim offered it up long ago for her. Which makes me giddy to no end. He’s not the least shocked that she’s using it. Only that she’s not out on patrol. Married status continues to level up in this moment.

Lucy explains she’s fallen way behind in her studies. OT is killing her atm. I can’t imagine how stressed she feels. Lucy is our resident academic. Not having the time to nerd out on her studies has to be killing her. It’s why she reaches out to her man for help. To pivot this in a different direction. Something that worked for Tim when he needed studying time. Asking if she could ride with him today? Could quiz her between calls.

Getting flashbacks to 2x02 when she helped him study between calls for his exam. I always love the callbacks they do for them. Continuity is ship crack for me. I eat it up. He accepts and Lucy is beaming. Their smiles in this scene are so adorable. Couldn’t be more in love if they tried tbh. I remember thinking how much I missed our idiots in love so much. I'll be this way for S7 too. I miss them.

Tim looks excited for this challenge. You can see it in his face above. But he is also letting her know how hard it’s going to be if she wants him to do this. That it’s probably not going to solve her problem. But he’s willing to expand her knowledge base on wildcards. This way she can take any curve balls Primm has to throw. Lucy’s smile is everything when she thanks him. Relieved her man is gonna help her her out. I mean of course he would. Nothing he wouldn't do for her and she knows it.

I remember seeing the funniest post for this moment before it aired. How it was her basically asking ‘Babe, please be mean to me.’ LOL Lord knows this woman is well aware he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. Just like the old days. It's where she learned the most. So it makes sense she would wanna dip her toe back in that pool.

Tim is ready to roll. Starting his ‘boot’ engines back up. Don’t tell me it's not a little bit of a kink for Tim. That man is too damn excited to be able to boss her around again. That being said says she learns best when she’s pissed off. I mean he’s not wrong…No one knows how to teach her better than he does. Lucy counters by saying does she? Or is this is just giving him permission to be an ass?

Tim letting her know if that’s really how she feels she doesn’t actually want his help. Lucy backtracks and is desperate for him to guide her with this. Saying she needs it. Tim is lighting up like a Christmas tree. You know that man LOVES her needing him professionally. It’s been awhile since she has. He’s excited. Lucy has been a self sufficient cop for long time now. Hasn’t needed his guidance for quite some time. So for her to come to him with this he is a happy camper.

Tim is thrilled to put his T.O. hat back on for her. They have such married energy through out this scene. Lucy telling him she doesn’t like his excited smile. Tim deflecting saying it's just his smile haha The absolute wifey look she gives him is hilarious. They just be flirting freely in the hallways. Like they aren’t completely married at this point. Even though he’s driving her insane she follows him out with an 'in love' smile. She loves her ass of a boyfriend haha

They hit the road and Lucy is still questioning her decision. Oh my girl. Saying maybe should’ve chosen Harper or Lopez instead…Tim makes a joke how Angela just got back. Her cop brain is just booting up. Which earns a smile out of Lucy. She loves this man sitting next to her so very much. Written all over her face. Doesn’t take long before Tim triggers a Lucy rant though.

Poor man is just trying to help the woman he loves get through this. Wasn't expecting the time bomb he received. He sets her off by saying no matter who teaches her they all have the same database. That there’s only a 8 percent difference between ranks. This is what ignites the Lucy meltdown above. That Primm is going to use that eight percent to trip her up. His face above when she starts is priceless. Tim is just bracing for impact at this point LMAO Ain't no stopping what's coming his way.

The flood gates have opened and phew lord what a meltdown it is LOL Holy hell. She is the queen of them. I adore how Melissa can shoot off so much dialogue in one breath. It’s impressive af if you ask me. Also makes me cackle so much cause I’ve been her. So many times when I’m under immense stress I do the same. You prattle on until you run out of steam. I can’t believe there isn’t a gif set of this rant so I made one. It’s too good not to have in this review.

It’s the look on Tim’s face that has me ROLLING. It’s been awhile since he’s had an epic Lucy rant thrown at him and it shows. Eric the King of facial expressions is at it again. I’m laughing so damn hard. I remember having to pause cause I was laughing so much at his expression. He most definitely wasn't expecting the rant that he got. If you can look at him above and not laugh you're made of stone. Hang in there Tim lmao Your girl Is worth this intense stress/anxiety vomit she just spewed all over you. It's like he doesn't even know where to begin after she's done. So he just doesn't....

The married energy continues once Lucy has wrapped up her meltdown. Tim being the smart man he is doesn’t say a word. He’s learned a thing or two from this relationship. Lucy though takes his silence as saying everything for him. With her ‘Please don’t.’ Tim trying not to start anything telling her he’s said nothing. He truly wasn’t expecting the explosion he got. Was happy to be a passenger princess today, while he quizzed her through out the day. And instead got an epic freak out right out the gate.

Tim can’t win for losing in this scene. (or this episode really) Lucy telling him she hear him thinking it. I remember there being a Chenford Bingo of some sort before the premiere. And exasperated husband was on there. This delivered that in spades. His reaction after her saying this is gold. Haha This is the woman you’ve chosen to love Timothy. LMAO You know he loves her to death neuroses and all but good lord ha.

Their banter never fails to hit and the marriage vibes on top of this is top tier. I am here for it all damn day. One of those 'When did they get married again?' moments. His look at the end is like he’s chanting to himself . ‘You love this woman…you love this woman...’ Lucy tops it off saying she just won’t sleep till the exam. Leaving Tim to shake his head more and not say a word. Only look out the window as he rolls his eyes. Primo banter and chemistry here. *chef kiss*

They roll up to their first wildcard. I adore the Metro call sign as they do. Tim assigning the crime scene to Lucy as he does. *fans self* I can’t explain why the call sign so sexy. Just is. Also them sharing it on the scene also gets me all in my feels. Tim is telling her that he is there as a resource for her. But she is the one in charge. Asking her what’s her first move?

The Plain Clothes Day vibes are all over this scene and it's fantastic. Another callback I am so happy they touched on. Lucy confidently strides onto the scene and explains her move. Tim tells her to call it in. Love the way she looks at him the entire time she does. Tim asks her what else? This is where Lucy’s confidence starts to wain sadly.

Where that panicked rookie from all those years ago begins to resurface. The way she is talking at Tim trying to figure it out oh my lord. The PCD vibes are so strong. Only this time Tim is helping her out a lot more. Unlike back in S1 he was there to watch her flop around, second guess herself and drown. It’s much different this time around. He truly wants her to succeed and let's her know as much in his responses. Lucy doesn’t see that in this moment though unfortunately.

Tim telling her the obvious boxes are checked but what’s her wildcard? The spiraling is so real for her in this moment. It hurts to watch the anxiety build in Lucy. Tim testing her knowing she can do this but her confidence is eroding in this moment rapidly. He is trying to get her there faster by saying she doesn’t have a minute. Which she really doesn’t when we know how this scene ends…

One of my fav parts of this scene is the line above. The kindness and gentleness Tim has. Because he wasn’t in love with her during PCD like he is now. Here he is trying to be supportive and gently guide her to the answer. Even give her an out for it. S1 Tim never would’ve said there’s no shame in not knowing the answer. Not this directly anyways. Doing his damn best to support her through this. But also help her get to the answer so she learns. Lucy takes it the wrong way though.

Reason being it has nothing to do with the man next to her. That man would die first before not supporting her. Level headed Lucy would know that. Sadly she is not here with us at this crime scene. Who she really is mad at is herself at this point. Because she should know the answer and her brain is stalling out in this moment. Tim told her he wasn’t gonna take it easy on her. But breaks a little with his kind reply. Giving her an out if she wants it. Lucy can’t handle it though...Because she is being far harder on herself for this than Tim could ever be. I can relate so hard to this it's unreal.

I do love the way she says ‘Sergeant Bradford, please.’ Lucy feels like she’s suffocating in her own thoughts. The panicked rush to get this right and hitting a wall. The anger building towards Tim at the same time. The confidence she has built since S3 just melting away the more she stresses. All the while taking it out on Tim. Why you ask? Because in this moment she is projecting that anxiety and stress onto him with her reply. Defense mechanism thy name is Lucy Chen.

Doesn’t take long after that line for the sprinklers to come on….The wildcard revealing itself on its own. We watch as the evidence literally gets washed away and the bullet down the drain….Lucy rushes to chase it and watches as it goes down a storm drain. A reflection for how she feels about her hopes of passing this test…It’s a rough scene to watch unfold for her. The devastation on her face when she realizes that bullet is gone is very rough.

They return to the station and Lucy is as defeated as she can be. Hoping no one knows about it as as she rubs her tattoo. They start to play clown music as she enters. SMH. Tim trying not to laugh. Aaron doesn’t help when he also laughs at her misfortune. Not a good day for our girl….Lucy gets distracted by Wesley being there with the baby.

We get a small sweet departure from her anxiety in this moment. While she has him she wants his legal opinion on her crime scene. He too laughs. These men in her life are the worst right now. Not helping her building anxiety and loss of confidence. Wes telling her she fatally ruined that scene. That she’s gonna need a straight up confession to convict someone. And that’s only if she finds the killer…oof.

We rejoin our beautiful duo staking out the crime scene. Lucy grasping at straws to fix what she so royally screwed up. Her heightened state of spiraling continues on in this scene. Lucy admits she wants to skip the exam. Her face breaks my damn heart. Killing me here Melissa. I do love the way he says her first name in response. Still gets me he can. After years of Officer Chen and ‘boot.’ Just hits differently and makes my shipper soul happy.

Tim tells her she is ready. That man would not tell her she was ready if she wasn’t. Relationship or not that man doesn’t hold back. Wouldn't send her head long into failure. If Lucy was in a better place emotionally she would’ve heard him. Heard the confidence in his tone. Seen the empathy he was exuding for her. This man has changed so much in his time with her.

It sky rocketed when they got together. Tim couldn’t have been more supportive if he tried in this scene. Hell this entire episode. But she is so very stuck in her head. A place Tim could normally shake her loose from. A specialty of his really. He can’t gain an inch of ground in this scenario. Lucy has dug her heels in so to speak that she’s gonna fail. Nothing he says is getting through.

Our girl is experiencing massive amounts of anxiety and self doubt. The panic attack is real. The fact that the one person she would’ve sold her soul for, in order to get his support back in the day, isn’t getting through is a problem. Lucy goes on to say she knows herself. That if she takes this test right now she will fail. Her confidence will die along with it. That it’s better to wait. Tim steps from one minefield to the next with this convo.

When he once again is just trying to be supportive and says ‘Then wait.’ Not only is he being in her corner he gives her something she can do in meantime. Something he hates the idea of. Her going UC while she waits this anxiety/doubt out. If that isn’t him supporting her idk what is. He is also still learning how to be there for her emotionally and she isn't giving him the grace for that. Sadly Lucy isn't in the right mind to see that though. She is just stuck in the mode she's been trapped in all ep.

I get it I really do and empathize with her. I’m the same way when my emotions are in a heightened state. Nothing gets through. I'm frozen in place emotionalIy. I get very doom and gloom as well. Lash out at anyone who isn’t going to be positive and reassuring. Which Tim is doing his best to be. But Lucy is in such a dark state of mind she doesn’t see it. All she sees right now is he doesn’t believe in her and is kicking her while she is down. She needs reassurances right now. To her he isn't delivering that the way she is wanting at this point. Him agreeing with her that she should wait is only making matters worse.

Anxiety is a cruel cruel master. It makes you believe things that aren’t true. Amplifies them to the point that you’re so wound up you’re lashing out at everyone. Even your person. Which is exactly what’s happening with Lucy in this moment. Her accusing him of making it worse with how bad she already feels. When Tim is professing words of encouragement all she hears is him saying she can’t do it.

Tim is desperate for her to know he’s in her corner after this display. Asking her if she heard him? Lucy is distracted by someone showing up to the crime scene. Tim asks her what? Lucy replying that woman was looking at the crime scene while crying. Tim is so sassy in his reply I’m proud of him. ‘Or maybe she just had a frustrating fight with her girlfriend’ heh love this. Calling her his GF always gives me the feels.

Lucy gets a last minute win with this case. Catching this lady trying to get her bracelet back after tossing the gun. Her cop gut serving her well. Sadly Lucy doesn’t see this win as such and it bleeds into this final scene unfortunately. Once again the music is absolute perfection. I’ll post some of my fav lyrics at the end of my analysis of this fight. But first let us witness the incredible chemistry that is Eric and Melissa in this final portion. You know your ship is amazing when even their angst is lightning in a bottle goodness.

This fight I will say when I watched it originally excited me. Because it just showed they’re human. Real. The both of them. They make mistakes and aren’t perfect. How healthy this was for them to get off their chest. Because honestly the UC/detective tension has been building for a long while. This was the boiling point for it IMO. This scene hurt so good to watch. I rewound it a few times before I could process it the first time.

Tim starts off with congratulating her on her 4th quarter win. He’s genuinely so proud of her for bouncing back. Felt like she NEEDED this win. So he makes sure she knows. But like I said earlier Lucy isn’t viewing it that way. Her perception is more than a little skewed atm. Her building anger at Tim has reached it's peak. She is cold to him and brisk as hell. Tim immediately picking up on her clipped ‘Thanks.’ Like she was going to be able to hide her anger and frustration from him. Girl no. Tim asks her what? Lucy shrugging him off once again.

Tim pulls on her arm gently and parrots her own damn words back at her from 5x21. That they’re not gonna work if she’s going to lie to him. Lucy conceding immediately to that. I mean they have a lot to work on communication wise, but they’ve also come really far in this aspect too. Don’t wanna disregard that. Look at Tim confronting this right away and communicating effectively. There are causes for excitement with that growth. That being said they have a ways to go. This fight is proof of that.

Lucy pulls zero punches when she asks if he undermined her today so she wouldn’t make detective? The absolute look of hurt painted across his beautiful face kills me. As you all know I relate with Tim so very much. He is so deeply loyal and loving. That any of his motives are to help those he loves around him. He truly thought he was helping her out today. Being supportive and helpful. So for her to come at him like this is leaving him stunned and extremely hurt.

His person the one person who knows him better than anyone, accusing him of something he would never even fathom doing. I was hurt for him watching this. Last thing he would ever do would be to hinder her intentionally. Loyalty to a fault is having someone else hurt you first before you’d ever do the same. That’s Tim. It’s why he is so defensive the rest of this scene. And rightfully so. I'm proud of him telling her it upset him she would even think that of him. Because IMO he did not undermine her. That man did what was asked of him.

All of Lucy’s pent up anxiety, anger, and frustration comes out full force at Tim in this scene. And my boy didn't deserve it. I was on his side the first time I watched it and I am now. I didn’t see that changing though lol. Do I understand what Lucy is going through? Yes. Good god yes. I've been her. I feel so much for what she's going though. I want to make that very clear. But Tim didn't deserve this barrage against him. Wanna also note i’m so proud of the writers for tackling mental health from the jump with this season. Both our babies got issues and this was the precursor to the season really. We just had no idea at the time....

Lucy assumed all day he was undermining her. Instead of just confronting that fact she sat in it. Stewed in it really. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Which isn’t like her. She is the type to face it right away and voice that to Tim. But didn’t this time. Giving us a little taste of their communication problems early on this season. There’s that saying. 'When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.’ And by the end of this convo Lucy is feeling like an ass. I guarantee you that .

Lucy continues to dig herself a hole when she bring up that maybe it was "unconscious". Not deliberate but also that he couldn’t help it. Which doesn’t make Tim feel any better. Nor would it make me feel any better either tbh….Basically saying he has no control over things he does. Which just insult to injury at this point for him. Then Lucy goes for her next punch below. One I still feel was unfairly delivered.

Does Tim still carry those issues? Of course he does. 100% that is still a weight on him. It’s reflected in the next ep when the subject of UC comes up. But does it belong in this fight with him? No. It has zero place in it. But like I said before she is feeling a loss of control and confidence in herself. So she is projecting her insecurities and feelings onto Tim. By bringing up his and using them to stabilize hers. It's a low blow she is dispatching to him.

She is running from her own feelings about this. She is also protecting herself by making it about Tim and his problems. (Which he has for sure) Because she isn’t ready to face the fact that she’s afraid of UC and all that will come with it. How being a detective on top of it is going to pull her from him even more.

She voiced these concerns in 5x19 when she was originally studying for her exam. It’s easier for her right now to hide in and blame Tim for his problems, than deal with her own right now. Tim’s reaction is so valid in this moment. Because to him all he did was have her back from the jump. He is feels sucker punched by this explosion and it's written all over his reaction.

Lucy asked him to help her. He did. Even told her it wouldn’t be easy and he wouldn’t be soft on her. She accepted the terms of this situation willingly. Tim supported her best he could through her meltdown. Did his damndest to not comment on it. He knows it’s her process to spiral a bit then right herself. Because he knows her so well. He had her back in trying to help figure out her wildcard. She rejected it and drowned.

Tim was calm and kind even if she didn’t recognize it about the exam. When she was doubting herself he built her up letting her know she can do it. Did his best to be in her corner if she truly felt she wasn’t ready. Then congratulated her when she got her case win. To Tim all that was him having her back.

It’s why he’s so blindsided and hurt by her words. Lucy is basically kicking him while he down in this moment and it hurt to watch. Because her anxiety and immense stress has blinded her. Making her act so very not like herself. She came at him with a one-two punch. First punch accusing him of undermining her and second being an unfair Isabel punch.

The K.O. punch really is him reading her face above. The way she looks at him when he says ‘But if you can’t see that then…’ Doesn’t even finish his sentence. He can read her just as well as she can read him. Lucy cannot see that right now. Too clouded by her extreme anxiety and stress to see him and his intentions clearly. So he ejects out of the convo. She has knocked him down for the count.

Tim can’t take the way she is looking at him right now. The way she is making him feel. Tim has always held how she viewed him in high regard. Nothing means more to him than what she thinks of him. So for her to level him with this is heartbreaking for him. So he reverts back to old Tim and clams up. Tells her he’s tired and for them to take the night off. Then walks away from her with no way for her to retort.

Lucy is a block of ice until this line of his. She was fully expecting him to apologize and go home with her. And he did not. He ejected out of the conversation to go lick his wounds. The look of shock on her face is everything. She wasn’t expecting that at all. You can see the panic on her face. That raw panic of her being left behind by him. Of Tim leaving her. The tears building in her eyes as he does this. Oh the painful foreshadowing that is this moment…..

The lyrics for this scene are so poignant and perfect. As is the entire musical lineup for this season. Perfectly encompasses Lucy in this episode and especially this scene. Here are some of my favs.

‘I think I’m losing my mind. I see you’re losing your light. Drowning out the decibels. Do you wanna find the antidote? Trying to watch my obstacles, see how fully I’ve been broke.’ Lucy is so broken in this episode and doesn’t reach out to the one person, her person to help fix her. She was drowning and went to him for the antidote and then refused it the entire time. Then gets consumed by it all.

Just a glaring look into how they both deal with being emotionally overwhelmed and vulnerable. And it’s not a good look for either of them this season tbh. But we start out with Lucy’s where I side with Tim before we go head long into Tim’s and I side with Lucy it's balanced at least lol. Damn good premiere though. I was buzzing with excitement after it.

As always thank you to anyone who read this. To all the likes, comments and or reblogs I may receive you are the best. I shall see you all in 6x02 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

~~~~

Scruffy Tim in this ep has my ovaries in overdrive. Mmm just wanna nom on his jawline like corn on the cob.

Nyla Harper being a bad ass in a tense situation is primo. Can always count on her. The aftermath sucks for her though.

Angela being more excited to see a burrito than her husband is hilarious and so on brand haha

Main baddie gets eliminated at the end of the ep. Not sure I remember why tbh haha Things got hazy at the end of the season for me with the SL.

[s12-kittie]

SUDDEN THEORY ABOUT THE TRIX'S DARK SYRENIX

Explanation why Dark Syrenix is Like That

(The pics are stolen taken from Pinterest)

I like Dark Syrenix, bc, firstly, it's the first upgraded transformation the Trix got (except Disenchantix, but it lasted less than an episode, so it doesn't count) and secondly THEY GAVE ICY NORMAL LIPSTICK DRAGON BLESS YOU STRAFFI

But, despite that, it's clear that Syrenix and Dark Syrenix look really different. To me, the same transformation should look alike in both dark and light forms. And bc I'm always right XD, I'm going to give a logical explanation to why it doesn't.

Dark Syrenix was given to the Trix by Tritannus, who clearly added some of his toxic magic to it (I'm too lazy to find the scene, so believe me XD). So, the transfornation joined together with toxins and we got... what we got.

This means, that Dark Syrenix actually looks different from what the Trix got. (I might visualise it someday...)

Also, I think (though I can't remember any proof from the series), that the Trix's Dark Syrenix is much less powerful than ot could be. Why?

The Trix got Syrenix from Daphne, so the amount of the additional power she had was divided into 3 (maybe, even 4, if Tritannus actually left some of her power to himself in order to have an ability enter the Infinite Ocean). Firstly, I think that breaking the transformation into parts is not a good idea (but it's just my opinion, which is not confurmed by anything in the series), and, secondly, the Trix got, like 30% of the transformation (in the best case), and this also explains why their haircolour didn't change underwater and why they didn't have any special Syrenix spells (idk how this is officially called). And it's another explanation the their different look.

Btw, Tritannus is really the most stupid villain ever. He clearly needed Syrenix just to be able to enter the Infinite Ocean and didn't even think it could be the boost he needed to become an Emperor, otherwise he would take all Syrenix for himself (okay and maybe for Icy, but not for her sisters, though I doubt that as well). Dude, no wonder your father didn't make you king, you'd be the most epic failure ever

There may be another version that Daphne, as the Nymph of Sirenix must've had more powers than the average Syrenix holder, but still, the Trix's transformation was incomplete, which leads us to was I've written before

What Dark Syrenix looks really alike with is the Trix's basic transformation. So, maybe Dark Syrenix just merged with or layered over it??

So my theory is the Trix never actually had normal Syrenix, it was the mixture of Daphne's Syrenix, Tritannus' toxins and their own powers.

[antianakin]

@theneutralmime

Okay, so there's two things being discussed in here that I will try to answer separately.

The first is about Obi-Wan "lying" to Luke about the Darth Vader/Anakin distinction and implying that they're separate people. I tend to agree with you that Obi-Wan isn't doing this for his OWN sake, but is in fact doing it for Luke's because Luke ISN'T READY to hear the truth yet. Mark Hamill has said that he sort-of sees the moment on Bespin when Luke falls away from Vader as almost like a suicide in some respects. If you take that as your interpretation of what happens in that scene, then it's pretty clear that Obi-Wan wasn't wrong about Luke not being ready for this particular truth.

Even if you don't take that as your personal interpretation, I feel like assuming that Obi-Wan was separating Vader and Anakin for his OWN benefit is just a disingenuous reading of the text. Once the truth is out and Luke calls him on it, Obi-Wan has no issue discussing the topic more overtly. And Obi-Wan is incredibly calm when facing Vader in ANH, there's no obvious conflict in him during that sequence. He knows who he's facing, he knows what it means to him, and he's prepared to manage it. He's completely in balance, which is why he's able to just let himself go in the end. If Obi-Wan were truly incapable of handling the whole CONCEPT of Anakin being Vader, I feel like we'd have seen way more distress in him in this film and in this sequence, and we'd see him attempting to try to continue the practice when conversing about it with Luke in ROTJ.

What they have Obi-Wan do in the Kenobi show is actually the OPPOSITE of what everyone assumes is happening. Obi-Wan isn't forced to separate them in his head because he can't deal with the pain of thinking about it, he's just choosing to mourn the version of Anakin that he remembers, the version of Anakin he raised and loved. He HAS to move on, he has to let go, or he'll remain as stuck in the past as Anakin himself is and won't be of any use to anyone. I do love that the separation seems to come more from Anakin himself than from Obi-Wan, something that the Kenobi show didn't even begin. We see Anakin say something similar to Luke in ROTJ and Ahsoka in Rebels, too. Anakin being incapable of coming to terms with what he's done and therefore having to separate who he was from who he's choosing to be is ENTIRELY in character for him. Anakin CAN'T accept change, he CAN'T accept reality, that's such a major core of who Anakin is and why he does the things he does. What Obi-Wan is doing is just accepting that Anakin has CHANGED, that he's choosing to be a Sith, and so he can mourn the person he remembers while accepting that the person who currently exists is now his enemy (and not someone he can save).

Which leads nicely into your second question which is about whether Obi-Wan WANTED Luke to kill Anakin or not. Let's look at what the dialogue is.

Luke: There IS still good in him. Obi-Wan: He's more machine now, than man. Twisted and evil. Luke: I can't do it, Ben. Obi-Wan: You cannot escape your destiny. You must face Darth Vader again. Luke: I can't kill my own father. Obi-Wan: Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope.

Now, personally, this doesn't scream to me of Obi-Wan WANTING Luke to kill Anakin so much as it does Obi-Wan recognizing that so long as the Sith remain alive and in power, there will never be peace.

However, you will notice that Obi-Wan never actually SAYS that Luke has to kill Vader. He says that Luke has to FACE Vader. This is important because the OT is, for many reasons, LUKE'S story. It's not actually Anakin's. And one of the major things happening for Luke across ESB and ROTJ is that he has to face his own darkness and accept it in order to rise above it. That's what Vader represents. Vader is not the tragic hero Anakin Skywalker at this point, he's just the physical manifestation of Luke's own darkness. Obviously you can choose to look at this scene with all of the context of Anakin's story from the Prequels and TCW and all the numerous other things that have been released since then that explore Anakin's character further and add more nuance to him. But the truth of the matter is that this scene was written long before any of that was out there in the world. Lucas had some idea of how that story was going to look, he'd written out a certain amount of it, but it wasn't something that was SUPER impacting the story being told in THIS film. This film is NOT Anakin's story. It just isn't.

And the other thing that happens in this scene is the revelation of Leia as Luke's sister. So not only are they discussing the manifestation of Luke's darkness, but they're bringing in a representation of LIGHT, as well, of Luke's GOODNESS. His love for Leia, for this person who's done nothing but fight for peace and freedom since we've met her, who's most well-known line is about HOPE, who is constantly being dressed in white to help get all of that across. THAT'S the other side of the coin. So this scene is telling us that obviously Luke HAS good in him, of course he does, but that he also needs to accept that he has the capacity for darkness, too, or that goodness can be corrupted towards evil, the same way his father's was.

Balance means making the choice to face your own darkness and accept it in order to be able to control it so that you do not succumb to it. And balance is what makes the Jedi who they are. Luke will never be a true Jedi until he achieves balance, and he can't achieve balance until he faces his darkness. So sure, what's happening on the surface is that Obi-Wan is telling Luke that he has to be willing to face the possibility that he's going to have to kill his own father. Other people have pointed out that, with additional context from things like the Prequels and even the Kenobi show, Obi-Wan is saying that Anakin likely won't GIVE Luke another option and that Luke needs to be able to do better than Obi-Wan, finish the job Obi-Wan was unable to complete before. And I'm happy to sort-of incorporate that more Watsonian idea into the Doylist concept of Luke just needing to face his own darkness, but the Doylist one HAS to come first and so many people choose to ignore it in favor of just getting mad at Obi-Wan for telling Luke he might have to kill his father or everything is doomed. Looking at it like that is really such a surface-level reading of the scene that ignores all of the deeper meaning of the entire story Luke has gone on over the course of three films, to me.

[terresdebrume]

People have expressed interest and my brain is desperate for a reason to procrastinate on the couch so there we go

"So what do I call you?" Crystal asks ot the end of her first day with the men who were hired to kill her.

She doesn't remember a lot from before they exorcised the demon who'd taken over her, and nothing from before that happened. She thinks there was thievery involved, hopefully the non violent kind, but it's all too blurry to tell. Like she'd been possessed by a shy demon, somehow.

"You heard our name," the wizard says.

He sounds as prickly as he did when Crystal first woke up, vaguely grateful to remember at least her name. Irritatingly straight backed, tightly wrapped into greenish-gray wizard robes with a high collar, gloved hands pressed together into fists. Crystal would have an easier time forgiving him all that if he hadn't told his colleague that he wasn't allowed to keep her, like she's a stray dog or something.

"I'm not going to call you 'Mr. Payne' forever," Crystal protests.

"Of course not," Mr. Payne replies, sounding scandalized. "You'll be gone long before then."

"Well, we can't really know that for sure, can we Mr. Payne?" Says Mr. Rowland.

Crystal can't quite tell if he's a soldier or a thief or some combination of the two. He's wearing maroon leather armor over a vivid red shirt that might have cost a little fortune to dye. He's lounging around the campfire, opposite Mr. Pain, and using one of his numerous daggers to whittle what looks like a little bear out of pale wood.

His hands pause in their movement when he turns to look at Crystal, pointing at her with the tip of the dagger:

"You sound nothing like the people for around here, for one," he says. "You clothes are completely wrong for the season, and we haven't heard anything about a girl going missing."

"Where is here, anyway?" Crystal asks, past the knot clawing at her throat. "Because it fucking sucks."

Mr. Payne clicks his tongue and rolls his eyes at the proclamation, but Mr. Rowland only chuckles. Crystal is right, anyway. There's nothing around but grass, grass and more grass, the occasional gaggle of sheep, and a forest on the horizon that's been covered in mist the whole day through.

"This," Mr. Payne says primly, "is the north of Hilarion. The nearest village about three days to the south of where we are, by foot, and if the environment is not to your convenience, you are very welcome to find transportation to wherever you came from by yourself."

"Easy, Mr. Payne. She's just a girl."

Mr. Payne shuts up, visibly irritated.

"Right," he says, brusquely getting to his feet. "I suppose it is time to bring out the agency. If you please."

He extends a hand, and Crystal watches Mr. Rowland hand him a piece of string, a fork, some fleece, and a pinch of lavender which Mr. Payne clicks his tongue at and immediately discards. Then he steps away from the fire, and starts drawing runes in the dirt.

"Don't mind him too much," Mr. Rowland says. "He's a good sort of chap. He's just not so good at showing it."

Crystal stares at him, skeptical, and he smiles. It doesn't last long, though: eventually, his face sobers up and his voice lowers as he adds:

"Besides, your case is turning rather more complicated than we expected it to be. That you aren't from here is one thing, demons rarely stay in place once they possessed someone... But the man who hired us specifically asked for you to be put down. Now we have to figure out how aware he was of your situation. If he knew, then the whole thing goes from a muck up to a potential assassination with us as its instrument, and that changes things."

"How?" Crystal asks, mostly so she doesn't have to think about the fact that someone might genuinely have wanted her dead.

"For one, it might force us to engage with law enforcement," Mr. Payne calls out over his shoulder. "Something we generally avoid."

He stands up again, wiping his hands, and Crystal notices the square wooden door standing behind him, where there was only empty air before.

"Come on," Mr. Rowland says, getting to his feet in one impossibly fluid motion, "let's have this conversation inside."

[korshrimpski]

KEVIN KORCHINSKI APPRECIATION POST

Hello, this is a remake of a post i made last season and i'm making it because 1. love kevin 2. can't stop thinking of how shit my old post was lol, so a remake is need (you won't find the og post because i deleted it)

1. let's start with some base things. he was drafted 7th overall in the 2022 draft to chicago

2. he's a defenceman

3. his rookie season was last year. he struggled a bit and is going to play in the AHL this year for the rockford icehogs

4. he got 5 goals and 10 assist

5. his dynamic with connor bedard is so sweet. They were both rookies for the chicago blackhawks last year but before that they played on team canada (wjc) 2023 together.

6. In warms ups connor would glide in bump into kevin, kevin would bump/push him back and connor would spin (x) (x.2) (x.3)

7. they also got their first fine together 🤗 (they went no bucket for their rookie lap and got fined)

8. since kevin and connor's whl teams never played each other they bicker about which team would have hypothetically beaten the other in a match up

9. kevin and connor combined to defeat the leafs in OT last season and it was beautiful

10. if you want more kevin and connor content here is a list of videos for you to watch:

Every Shift Season 1 Episode 5: Ambition to Action | 15:06-15:20

Every Shift Season 2 Episode 6: Great Expectations | timestamps; 1:37-4:20

(INSTAGRAM video)

they did a podcast together (it is a very painful watch because of the host :/)

11. he has a youtube channel (the name of which i cannot remember which makes me so sad) but it is him doing backflips or talking about hockey

12. speaking of him having a youtube channel- he was asked if he could be an influencer and he said he would try and then fail

13. there is a scar under his eye that he got when he was playing in the WHL conference finals and got high sticked in game one

14. the reason he decided to go to the WHL was to follow in his fathers' footsteps and so they have something to bond over (x 0:00-0:45)

15. kevin speaks really high of his dad as he is one of his main inspirations

16. literally whenever there is a single post about him people default to the "hi kevin" video/gif from spongebob lol

17. he used to play the piano because his mum wanted one of her kids to learn piano so kevin was put in piano. In year 9 he quit to focus on hockey. But he still likes playing piano for his mum

18. but kevin likes music and can play guitar, ex.1, ex.2,

19. here's him singing a zach bryan song with alex vlasic x

20. speaking of zach bryan, kevin is a big country fan

21. he is also a big coldplay fan because of his dad

22. his favourite show is suits

23. he was a very energetic kid and because of that his grandad called him "energy bunny" (x)

24. his hockey habit is that he has to change his laces every game. if they're a pair of laces he likes he'll keep them for a couple of games. he also has to retie his laces after every period

25. he is competitive with big sister whenever they play cards | timestamp: 10:26-10:56

26. he was at school for a test, when his friend told him he got drafted to the Seattle Thunderbirds (x)

27. during his rookie season, colin blackwell took kevin under his wing. they would drive together to practice some days and colin teached kevin who to cook steak

28. there is an amazing video of kevin and sam savioe singing shallow by lady gaga in colins car that i have to show you, like it's beautiful x

[frances-baby-houseman]

in like 1989 my dad's younger sister got married to my uncle keith*. I was the flower girl and my cousin tiffany was a jr bridesmaid and it was 100000 degrees. ANYWAY not the point. My aunt wendy has a gorgeous, gorgeous voice, and she made a cassette of herself singing 4 love songs that played as the wedding party walked down the aisle. Three of the songs were The Rose, the Theme to Ice Castles, and Evergreen**, and I have not been able to remember the fourth song! I have multiple texts to my brother and Tiffany trying ot remember the song and we can't do it! (Yes we obviously could have asked aunt wendy but that's not the game!!)

Anyway today I was like, I NEED TO KNOW, I have a whisper of a lyric! And that lyric was, I am in Love with you. which is not particularly identifying! but I got it!! It's longer by Dan Fogelberg. I did it!!

*Aunt Wendy and Uncle Keith have been divorced for like 25 years but I obviously can't stop calling him uncle keith now. There's Aunt Wendy and her husband Tim who have been married for 20 years, and a random man out there called Uncle Keith. He's actually a kinda scary trump supporter now and my cousin (his daughter) Emily is married to a woman and they Simply Do Not Discuss It.

**I was reminded of this query obviously bc of Kris Kristofferson.

[foster-the-world]

Notes to self

Note to self - Don't get to excited about services being provided to your child until the services are provided. They aren't having any luck finding an additional in school OT 30 minute, 2x speech and 7 hours of a SEIT. Blah. Did the PT eval last night and assume he will get assigned another 2xPT. The administrator said PT is the easiest to find so maybe he'll get that? His teachers need the break/support and I need a special ed expert.

He was acting up for his PT eval - and his baseline is amped up so acting up is something to see. I would have expected an evaluator to be used to kids like him but even he seemed shook. Maybe PT evaluators are more used to kids who don't move as much because they are developmentally behind??? Not sure. He kept saying "wow, wow, he's a lot, he has a lot of energy, he doesn't stop, etc, etc." with awe in his voice. In the end he said he can do all of the skills but due to his extra energy will be assigned PT for "safety issues." It was easy stuff - jumping, standing on one foot, walking up stairs, running. The thing he has trouble with is catching a ball because he can't stand still. He was also impressed with how fast he can run. He's very speedy for a kid who bumps into the wall and falls down constantly. Safety issues make sense because I got another call from the school nurse today. Skinned knee. At least weekly calls of this nature. Which is somewhat normal for a 3yo but also extra....

Finally had his parent teacher conference today. She said she loves him, he's very intelligent, often the first one to answer questions, remembers everything, has a ton of potential, on and on. Very good to hear. She said she can tell I worry and told me not to. She's a very sweet women. Big props to teachers and love and appreciate all kids - even the ones who require extra work. At some point it came up how the school put two additional assistants in the class with the purpose of taking him and one other kid out when they get too antsy. The recent trend to wrestle with the kid who also has too much energy is not great. I'm glad they have an assistant that can take him out but also feel bad he's taking up the schools resources. If he had a SEIT then they wouldn't have to.

Yesterday he told me he had a big secret for me - it was how seeds are used to make trees. It was so damn cute. She said he got really excited when he found a seed in his orange after the tree growing lesson.

[breitzbachbea]

🌙☀️📣💡👑📦🚆☄️💘 for francesco ! (i love information i need more)

And how could I deny you!

Here's some fun bonus information, a panel taken from this comic by @cinalilli with Francesco smack dab in the middle of Team Italy. Shows his height relations to the rest quite well #shortking.

OC Emoji Questions

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

His greatest wish is too see as much of the world as possible and meet the most interesting people on this earth - which are most people to him - and see all the extremes this human world has to offer. And he's willing to go far for it. Lie and steal to make it possible, break into areas no one is supposed to be, e.g. climbing on top of the Collosseum at night. Toy with other people's life to see how they react under pressure, with only so much regard of how much harm it causes. You have to break geodes to see the pretty insides, after all.

☀️ SUN - are they a morning person? what is the first thing they do in the morning?

Considering how much he gets up to at night, I think he tends to wake up at 9 am or sleep in even further, depending on when he went to bed. He usually wakes up, goes to the bathroom and grabs breakfast before he actually gets ready and dressed. Depends of course if he gets breakfast at home or at work/at a bar.

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

LOUD. To be fair, he doesn't come into a room unaware that he's booming, he's doing that a lot on purpose. Most of the time he's got an average volume and speaks as the situation calls for it, but when he gets excited or upset, he does get louder.

He has a very noticeable Neapolitan accent in Italian, when he isn't speaking Neapolitan outright to himself - his English is accented as well, even if less so. He tends to, again, speak to people in their language/in the way he wants to be perceived by them, but tends to stay more on the informal side or poetic waxing rather than overly stilted or clinically to the point.

💡 LIGHTBULB - is your oc a planner? do they write down every small detail or just wing it?

Francesco lives in the moment, but he does plan - in the sense that he calculates outcomes and the necessary parts to achieve them. He never writes anything down, it all stays in his head, but when he works with others, the other person usually writes down the plan they hash out. (If it's Fabio or Dolcetto at least - Gabriella and Lovino sometimes write things down, but Lovi also rather lets others do this and when he's with Feli, Franci has to jot some things down because of Feli's adhd.)

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

He enjoys the notoriety he has achieved in parts of the European underground, but he doesn't have many plans for cultural and social immortality. What he really wants to be remembered as is 'that magnetically charming weirdo you met on your holiday once.' He wants that plenty of versions of him, his zest for life, lives on other people's life, even if they're complete strangers. It meshes with his philosophy that from the micro to the macro, you can find the beauty and fascination of humanity in everything. As time goes on with him as part of Team Italy, he also wants to be remembered as a good friend and lover to those closest to him.

📦 PACKAGE - what's some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

Most likely to smooch the enemy, much to Lovino's dismay. (He wants to fuck Michele so bad, just because Miché hates his guts and Franci likes his gusto). Most likely also to end up in the deepest shit, at the same time most likely to get away with most troublesome behaviour without having to pay the price. Who could be angry with this guuuuy?

☄️ COMET - what do people assume about them? are they right?

A lot of people assume Francesco is just a loving macho who runs his mouth but can't or wouldn't back it up. They are mistaken about the backing it up part but right about everything else. Others think that his happy, earnest joy and whimsy is simply a façade that covers up a cruel cunt of an overly curious manipulator. They are mistaken about his joy and whimsy being fake, but right there there IS an overly curious manipulator as well.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

Excitement! Francesco has never earnestly dated (not counting teenage school romances) before Dolcetto, but he loves loving. He doesn't have a physical type nor really one when it comes to personality, though someone stubborn in one way or another can always be a fun challenge. And someone horny's always good, because my god, he's horny too. To be in love, to indulge what you become when you tie yourself to someone else, and be it only for a night, is part of being human, which he loves!

In Italian, there's the expression of colpo di fulmine (a bolt of lightning/lightningstruck) and I think he does believe in love on first sight in that way. There's just people you feel immediately drawn to, there's a spark - whether you want to call that love isn't that important to him. That's the way he feels about Feliciano, one of his bosses and the man he acts as right hand and bodyguard to. Something about Feliciano's upbeat nature draws him in.

[abihastastybeans]

HELLO

5, 10, 13, 15, 18, 19, 21, 29 from here

(i just realised that that's a lot so feel free to skip some/answer selectively if you want to do that!)

CAL HIIIII!!!!

(are you kidding ofcourse I'm gonna answer all of that, let's make a game out of it and see how long it takes me)(it's 15:05 when I started answering)

5. Favourite song in your native language

Can't think of one rn😭 The first one that came to mind is Venmadhi Venmadhi from Minnale because some guy was playing that on the bus yesterday. I think it's a lovely song, especially the third verse :)

10. Most enjoyable swear word in your native language

I don't really swear in Tamil😂 I only use words like stupid/wastrel/dog/buffalo... y'know the most common ones lol

But, again, the first swear word that came to mind is *looks around to make sure no one's listening* "watha" - which is basically the Tamil equivalent of fuck - because one of my friends called another friend that this morning lmao

13. Does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions ot traditions that might seem strange to outsiders?

Well there's so many but i generally think that doing rituals/ chanting slokas or vedas must be very strange to outsiders who aren't really used to that! Imagine being a white christian and you encounter a yagna happening with a giant fire, lots of huge shirtless men saying very weird words in their blaring voice, adding all kinds of different things into the fire, while surrounding people watched on... I'd be terrified 😂💀

15. A saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get?

SO BEAUTIFUL. SO ELEGANT. JUST LOOKING LIKE A WOW.

18. Do you speak with a dialect of your native language?

Gosh I speak so many dialects - depending on who I'm talking with. There's what I consider the normal one, there's the one mixed with random English sentences😂, there's the local chennai dialect for when I'm dealing with/in public or local vendors💀, there's the tambrahm (wow it feels weird to say it like that) dialect because that's what I was raised on in mum's side of the family

19. Do you like your country's flag and/or emblem? What about the national anthem?

I've honestly never thought about this before...

Flag - 🇮🇳 It's a good one, I like what it stands for. But no one would forget the struggle it would take when you were 6 years old and were asked to draw the national flag and you wouldn't remember how many spokes are there in the ashoka chakra😭 or even if you remembered, you wouldn't know how to divide them evenly throughout the circle... So much stress. 7/10

Emblem - it's a bit complex if you ask me but eh. It looks cool i guess. I like the phrase 'satyameva jayathe' ("truth alone triumphs" in Sanskrit) so there's that :p 5/10

National Anthem - I love it!! I like the picture it paints, listing out all those places! Only criticism is that it was very difficult for younger abi to sing the beginning because it was so very low and i struggled for a long time😅 9/10

21. If you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be?

Aloo mutter gravy and methi roti👍

29. Does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country?

I was thinking really hard...before i realised🤭

MYSURU. WHY do you do that to your sambar??? It's nice, I'd be lying if I said it's bad, but how?????? How did you come to the decision "oh you know what. I'm gonna make this taste sweet. Yeah."??

We went to Mysore one time and had some sambar and do you know what happened, cal? My cousin threw up, that's what happened.

(it was because of the long uphill travel but the sambar definitely contributed :p)

What you lack in sambar, you make up for it with Udupi rasam so. I forgive you😤

(now the time is 15:55)

"Hi, I'm not from the US" ask set

[bedlamsbard]

Hi there!

I just finished reading Queen’s Gambit, for the first time, and first off, I wanna extend my personal compliments. It’s probably some of the best Star Wars anything I’ve ever read, let alone one of the best fics I’ve ever read. Excellent job.

My actual question is this: was the plotline with “our” Anakin/Obi-Wan/Padmé (aka the versions from the Wake the Storm-verse) ever officially continued anywhere? I found the posts outlining what the sequels to Queen’s Gambit would have been, but I can’t seem to find anything for the other versions if the characters. I’m not necessarily asking for fic or demanding anything, I’m just genuinely curious if there’s anything out there about potential plans.

Thank you so much and I hope you have a lovely day/evening/whatever time of day!

Thank you for reading, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the story!

To the best of my memory, I don't have any posts up about what would have happened in All Along the Watchtower, the third Ouroboros story -- there's some concept writing posted well far back in my cut scenes and concept writing tag that dates from when Gambit was in progress, I believe. At a later point in time I planned to use the Watchtower 'verse, the 'verse that the Wake trio ends up in at the end of Gambit, as the same universe that Ezra ends up in during The Starry Crown, though I left the fandom and stopped working on that story before that was revealed; there's some concept writing that shows a later incarnation of that universe from Ezra's POV.

The three alternate universes in the Ouroboros trilogy -- the OT canon universe (as of 2013) in Wake, the Gambitverse in Gambit, and the Watchtower 'verse in Watchtower -- were designed to be mirrorverses for each of the three trio members, so the outcome of each character's worst case scenario. Canon for Anakin (he was responsible for the death and destruction of everything he loved), Gambitverse for Padme (she was the tyrant responsible for corrupting a Jedi and launching the galaxy into civil war), and Watchtower for Obi-Wan (he lost control, fell to the Dark Side, and was unable to help when the Jedi were slaughtered because of circumstances outside his control). I don't remember exactly the precipitating factors now, but Obi-Wan had ended up on Dooku's side here (I think he was captured by Maul? and tortured and later rescued by Dooku? it's been a long time now), and Dooku was able to manipulate him into turning on Palpatine, killing him early and allowing Dooku to become emperor. There was an Order 66, but it wasn't as successful as the canon one; a large portion of the Jedi Order was able to escape and regroup under the grandmastership of Mace Windu. (Yoda having been killed.) Anakin was one of them. Padme and a number of other Jedi allies remained in the now-Imperial Senate; Padme specifically was spying for the Jedi. She had had Luke and Leia, but gave them both up (Luke to Anakin and the Jedi, Leia to the Organas) so that they wouldn't be vulnerable to Dooku. Dooku started -- I can't remember what I was going to call it, an Order of Sith Knights, maybe, sort of like the One Sith from the comics, which Obi-Wan headed up. He and Padme were having a sexual relationship, which Anakin was aware of; uncertain if he and Anakin were also involved but they might have been. The galaxy had fragmented pretty significantly; Maul was still running around, Dooku didn't have as good a grip on recalcitrant systems as Palpatine had, so there were various independence movements.

The Wake trio had all gotten dropped into different locations in the galaxy about, uh, ten years or so onwards from the divergence point? Padme we see at the end of Gambit; Anakin ended up on Coruscant and goes to contact that universe's Padme, who is understandably a little freaked out but does help him. I can't remember where exactly Obi-Wan was, but ultimately he ends up on Tatooine with that universe's Ahsoka, who is at this point a Jedi Knight representing the Order during an auction facilitated by the Hutts for major weaponry, at which a bunch of other political groups in the galaxy are also present, so we meet various Mandalorian groups (Sabine is a junior Protector), rebels/terrorists (Hera is there representing Free Ryloth), and Maul's apprentice (Kanan/Caleb, who had gotten kidnapped from the Order years earlier and has been believed dead for years). This is also where the Ezra of The Starry Crown ends up (as seen in the concept writing linked up above); when I was writing Crown I was still leaving it up in the air if I would use that to crabwalk sideways into actually using the Wake trio there too.

As early as 2016 or 2017 (Gambit wrapped in 2015, I immediately started working on Backbone that summer with the intention to go back to Ouroboros after I finished, I thought it would be a quick project ha ha ha Backbone didn't wrap until 2018), I had been planning to integrate Rebels plot points into Watchtower; I don't remember all the details now, but it involved a plan to use the Malachor temple/superweapon (which I have postulated elsewhere was actually a massive starship) and a counterpart on Coruscant to do Bad Things. The Malachor end got shut down by Hera, Kanan, Crown!Ezra, and that universe's Ezra (masterless Jedi padawan nicknamed Rat, the Jedi had to change up some of their Process because so many of them had died in Order 66); this is also where the Malachor holocron is destroyed and absorbed by Crown!Ezra, which is seen in Crown. That universe's Anakin went to deal with the Coruscant end, fought and killed that universe's Obi-Wan, and was fatally injured destroying the Coruscant superweapon, dying there.

This obviously doesn't leave a lot of room for the Wake trio to do anything but observe, which isn't that different from what they do in Gambit (and which gets a lot of criticism). But that is, as I remember it, the plot. Because it never got written and finalized, it's changed a lot over the years, but many of the fundamental details of the universe remained the same; like I said, I at one point planned to use it for Crown after I'd decided not to write Watchtower itself, but it was always the same plot, just with a larger cast of characters.

I say this pretty regularly because Wake/Gambit are always picking up new readers, but there aren't any current plans to pick up Ouroboros again -- I have gotten a regular amount of vitriolic comments on both fics for the better part of a decade now and it's completely killed any desire of mine to work on them. Also left some permanent scars and fundamentally changed the way I write, plot, and interact with fandom, which I complain about regularly in my talking about feedback in public tag. (Wake went up in 2013, so we really are coming up on the ten year anniversary. Watchtower got hate mail EVEN BEFORE it ever went up.)

[lucysweatslove]

Health recap, I guess? 2019 to present, because I'm so frustrated with my health atm.

Early 2019, I started with wrist pain whenever I used my hand to push on something. Nobody could figure it out. Did OT without much help. Was told it is "probably functional" but lost ability to do things I love, including lift weights and do yoga.

End of 2019, I got sick with an upper respiratory infection. I get colds periodically like everybody else. Nothing new.

URI did the whole "got better, then it got worse" thing and turned into a sinus infection and then my First Ever Ear Infection.

Went into urgent care; was given... some... antibiotic. I don't even remember the class. When this helped but didn't resolve, and the URI progressed to a cough and lower respiratory stuff, I was put on another antibiotic of a different class.

Eventually that antibiotic cleared it up, but I had a terrible cough for a few months. Also. Finally see a new psychiatrist who puts me on Wellbutrin and I feel so much better emotionally. Not physically.

Enter in COVID! I was working in a derm clinic and had to take my temp multiple times a day. We found I was persistently having fevers! Yay! I also was tremulous, nauseous, and lost weight unintentionally. This was on top of a couple year history of significant whole-body pruritis. Concern is something cancer.

Provider I worked for ordered labs while I waited to get into my PCP. My TSH was marginally high, which was unexpected. My PCP called and was like "let's put you on levo!" to which I said no, let's not, because I'm not presenting with any hypothyroid symptoms. I requested repeat TSH plus additional thyroid tests eg T3/T4.

Those came back normal, PCP was all "its a good thing I didn't start you on meds" like ma'am no, it's a good thing I had some medical knowledge and thusly refused and pushed for repeat studies. My PCP did not additional workup and took my temp via forehead scanner and was all "you're perfectly healthy."

Moved, and thus I needed a new PCP. New PCP did more extensive workup.

Start grad school fall of 2020. Can't focus well, suspect ADHD because my sister has ADHD and my historical depression, which I've blamed all my previous focus issues, is well-treated with Wellbutrin. PCP agrees but because of fevers doesn't think it's a good idea to start a new med yet.

Everything negative/clear/normal, including peripheral blood smear, blood culture, and chest and abdominal CT.

"Well, the next step would be a bone marrow biopsy..."

That sounds painful, no thanks. If it's something insidious, it'll eventually show up on routine labs and then we can do the biopsy. I continue to have fever and ear pain (even when my ears look "clear") and recurrent ear infections. I notice my hair is thinning too, and I keep getting recurrent scalp infections, but oh well. School goes fine even if I can't focus well, so I ignore that, too.

I figure out that my wrist pain is a ganglion cyst that nobody noticed because it didn't grow "up" but snaked its way through bones so it took 2 years for a "bump" to present. Had surgery to remove it in early-Mid 2021.

Constant stuffy nose starts in 2021, but my husband's hips died in mid 2021 and I focused more on him initially. I still can't focus and my nose is so stuffy it interferes with sleep.

Enter into a long discussion with my PCP where she refuses to acknowledge that I might have ADHD and thinks it's from my nose + inability to sleep. We try to treat it. Nothing works. Still. Stuffy.

Apply to medical school. Worried about ADHD and being able to focus and learn. Therapist who I've been working with since Husband's hips agrees it is ADHD but can't medically treat. Referred to testing because maybe if I have an actual diagnosis, my PCP would treat.

Diagnosed with ADHD + autism. Clinician assessor told me that my PCP's office doesn't usually "accept" his diagnoses.

Go to a PMHNP instead who won't prescribe stimulants without assessment from a specific neuropsych.

Placed on Strattera while I wait for neuropsych results. It's terrible. Fevers spike, I'm shaking all the time, can't sleep, like no change in focus. 0/10.

Do assessment with neuropsych. Only did some self-rating scales + the WAIS. WAIS test is voided because I've done it too recently. I still have to pay.

PMHNP finally says she won't make me go through any more hoops and we try Vyvanse. Vyvanse is amazing. I barely have any exacerbation of anything physical even.

Start medical school, things are OK and stable.

A few weeks into school (probably like, 6 weeks after starting the vyvanse, if it matters). I start feeling unwell and dizzy and like my eyes can't focus well, and I can't bring myself to eat. I figure I just need more hydration + electrolytes. Eat more salt, do better.

Two months into med school, everything flares. My scalp flares, I end up with a staph aureus infection not just on my scalp but by both of my ears, neck, and even a small abscess on my arm.

Treated for the staph but two weeks later develop widespread myalgias. Start taking daily Aleve to manage.

Fever is flaring without any particular pattern during this process.

Losing so much hair in the shower and in clumps. Husband can't find discrete lesions of baldness. I look at the hair and they are all telogen stage. Decide it's probably telogen effluvium from the stress of school.

Myalgias get progressively worse until I am in so much pain just sitting in class that if I forget Aleve for just one day, I'm almost crying and can only focus on the pain.

Finally decide to get another appoint with my PCP. It's in 2 weeks.

Why did I wait so long to see my PCP again? Because I am fat with a history of a restrictive eating disorder and I am absolutely petrified I will be labeled once again as the Overly Anxious Fat Woman that "just needs to meditate and lose some weight," and that when I bring up my new diagnoses and meds, I'll be told I "can't possibly be autistic" because I'm in med school and "present myself well" nor can I have ADHD because clearly I'm just an overly anxious fat woman.

[bonnielunkas]

i think i followed you a million years ago for something else because idont know jack about kirby but i looove how decorated your blog is. is pink your favorite color? whos your favorite kirby character? tell me a bit about em :)

uhhhh pink IS my favorite color actually!! uhhh it used to be purple but now it's pink- i change ot every once in a while

anyways uhhhh the girl in my icon is my favorite kirby character!!!! her name is susie haltmann and i love her a lot. she's my favorite character ever actually ^^'

i am. going to be talking a lot and some of it might not make sense since its nearly 5am but here goes

her home game's kirby planet robobot where she's one of the primary antags!! kirby runs into her 4 times over the story and she has actual dialogue which is really cool since a lot of kirby games don't really do that. uhhh she's the secretary of the haltmann works company and she's helping lead their mechanization occupational project which is a plan to mechanize people and planets against their will which is. not good obviously. and in the end when kirby defeats the main antag star dream susie flies off to go restore the company!! but she focuses it on helping people with haltmann works co.'s instead of forcing them to become mechanized!! she did bad stuff but one of the main themes of kirby ( to me at least ) is forgiveness and redemption and susie is a pretty good example of that.

her body language is REALLY good. ( probably because outside of her eyes she can't really emote, at least not with her face ) here are some of my favorite poses from her, all from robobot :]

look at her!! she's so cute!! she's so full of life!! the way she moves contrasts the whole point of the company she works for and i think that does wonders for her design.

susie's concise with her words. VERY calculated. she thinks pretty highly of herself and she's got a bit of sass to her. she's also ( at least during robobot ) full of some terrible ideals that are shared with the president of the haltmann works company and her father. that everyone who resists is below them and most be put in their place. yeah.

AND HER BACKSTORY- okay so susie and her dad, max profitt haltmann, president of the company were working on restoring a machine called star dream, right?? and one day star dream sucks susie through a portal and spits her out in a place called another dimension, which she stays in for who knows HOW long until she finally makes it back home. but uhhh. haltmann doesn't recognize her, since star dream was feeding off haltmann's memories. so susie takes the role of secretary, likely to try and steal star dream so haltmann will stop digging a grave for himself. along the way she picks up the ideology her father / boss has and then that leads to what we see in robobot.

so yeah, shes uh. quite the sad character. but there's still a lot to be happy about with susie too!!

she loves singing, she loves ice cream, she's a pianist, she's terrible at marketing, she's got a rivalry with the mage sisters ( specifically francisca ) and i find that pretty cute all things considered. she's clever, she seems to love dressing up, she seems to genuinely enjoy kirby's company enough to consider being a star ally, she possibly makes some friends that she desperately needed. those last three were moreso inferences than canon facts but still - -'

and uh- yeah!! that covers most of my thoughts abt susie, lol. at least the canon-adjacent thoughts. susie's overall a rlly complex character who has quite a bit to talk about, lol

here's my favorite picture of her, its from a short series called " it's kirby time " and i dont remember which episode this one's from sadly,,,,

[lorei-writes]

Hello sorry to bother it is me again bear with me since I read your deep analysis about the princes I can't stop thinking about a ton of question I have fir you let's begin with an old one ages ago I wrote and you answered me about a situation with Chevie and an hypersensitive lover that felt every emotions very deeply Now what about that shy seemingly weak rabbit showing her fangs at some nobles to stand up for him openly defending the fact he is Not a brutal beast as they called him ? How he would react ? Same things goes as how and what he will do if she will face him head on about something any she strongly believe in not fearing clashing opinion and speak her mind with him ? Gosh I rambled away too much as ever sorry for that probably ot will happen again even though please answer at your own time no rush take care and remember to relax too 🙏🙏 I wish you a wonderful day 🤗😘

Hello!

Thank you for your patience, it took me a moment to get to this ^^"

Overall, I think we're dealing with several related situations that nonetheless remain separate and should be treated as such.

First situation: a person defending him - "Chevalier is not the Brutal Beast".

Question #1: What is their personal relationship?

If they're strangers towards each other, I don't imagine Chevalier would take well to it. It'd be pretty much empty words. Having his lover defend his humanity, on the other hand, could be gratifying.

Chevalier's perception of himself changes as he and MC become closer. Initially he too believes himself to be a beast -- so somebody unrelated, with no proof to show for their words, making any claims as daring as "Chevalier is human"? He'd likely disregard it as a piece of self-serving drivel.

Question #2: How is it executed?

Anybody can scream claims loudly. Defending them efficiently and with reason is another thing. I can't imagine he'd be particularly pleased with anybody putting themselves in the spotlight and agitating the atmosphere unprepared. Especially if it meant he'd have to intervene or even react in any way to remedy the situation.

+ The argument would have a certain flaw: Brutal Beast is a moniker coined to describe him. Undeniably, Chevalier can be brutal. It can be argued that he no longer chooses violence over other means of conflict resolution, or that he is human... But at the same time, the moniker may stay in place, regardless of whether its underlying meaning is true.

Second situation: a person openly expressing their disagreement with him and defending their stance.

That, I think, is something Chevalier would generally enjoy. For one thing, somebody finally treats him like a person. For another, even if a stance is defended unsuccessfully, it still can be seen as an amusing curiosity (at least initially).

If done skilfully? I can't imagine Chevalier would have anything against it. Especially if it prompted him to reconsider some matters, which he does do.

... At the same time, I'd expect him to argue back, and to be rather merciless with his arguments.