#i can't believe i'm down to my last two months of this project

[entitled-fangirl]

Choose me.

Cregan Stark x reader

Summary: the reader reveals her fears. Cregan is there to reassure her that they are of no consequence.

Masterlist

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"You've haven't been yourself as of late," Cregan noted as he entered their chambers. "What ails you?"

She looked up from the sofa, only to look away again, "Nothing. I… I am fine."

He sighed, fully entering the room and beginning to untie his cloak, "I'm tired of us ignoring one another. Let us put this past argument behind us."

She bit the inside of her cheek, "Forgive me for being so easily irritable."

He threw the cloak on the bed and rounded the back of the couch, leaning down to her. "I had never heard you raise your voice before."

She sighed, "I don't believe I had until then."

He kissed the crown of her head and moved away from the couch. "Why do you suppose that is then?"

She set her embroidery project aside, "It does not matter."

He frowned, "It does to me."

She shook her head, "It's only… the issues of a woman."

He moved in front of the couch now, tilting his head curiously, "your moon blood?"

She shrugged lightly, "Something of that sort."

He shook his head and sat next to her, "Don't do that. Don't shut me out."

"You deal with enough of your own problems, as well as the North's. You shouldn't have to deal with mine as well."

"You are my wife. I am supposed to love and care for you. And make you happy. Please allow me to."

She shifted to lean against the arm of the sofa and pull her legs up to her chest, "My body has been complicated as of late."

He gently pulled her legs out and onto his lap, caressing her ankle softly, "Complicated? How so?"

"My mood is off as if I have no control."

He paused in thought, "The only time I've witnessed this is during your moon blood. It all adds up, does it not?"

"I am not bleeding."

He frowned in pure confusion, "I thought-"

"I've not had it yet."

His brows lifted, "Ah. I see. When did you last have it?"

She hesitated and pulled her legs up to her chest again.

He sighed, "Answer honestly, please."

When she looked up at him with watery eyes, his expression softened, "Why are you crying?"

She rested her head on her knee to avoid eye contact and sniffled, "I dunno."

He shuffled closer and gently lifted her head to look at him. He wasn't going to let her avoid his gaze, "You're crying. Tell me the reason."

Her eyes welled up with more tears as she looked at him, "I'm frightened."

His brows furrowed, "Frightened?" He wanted to scoff, but it was clear this was no joking matter for her. "Of what?"

"Death."

A shudder went down his spine. He pulled her up and into his lap, "Tell me, my girl. Whose?"

She placed her hands on his chest and stared into his eyes, "Mine."

Cregan paused. "Why in the names of the old gods and the new would you be frightened of that so suddenly?"

She took a deep breath and her voice was barely heard, "I believe I'm with child."

As if ice cold water had been dunked on him, Cregan froze in place. "W…What?"

She pulled away and wiped at her cheeks.

"You… you're sure?"

She nodded, "I've not bled for… two months now."

He let out a shuddered breath. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I… I can't…"

His eyes widened, "You can't what?"

She pulled away from him further and began to move from his lap.

His face fell, "Wait, no. No, no, no. Don't pull away, please."

He reached out frantically to pull her back, but she flinched away from him.

She began to lightly sob as she stood there.

Cregan stood up as well, holding his arms out wide for her, "Sweet girl…"

"You won't pick me."

He paused, completely lost, and beginning to panic, "What? What are you talking about? I'll always pick you." He stepped forward, "What do you-"

She flinched away again, harshly wiping at her cheeks when more tears came. Her breathing became more rugged as the moments passed.

He sighed lightly and spoke softly, "You've got to calm yourself. You'll faint panicking like that."

The breathing continued and she began to see stars so she sat herself on the floor.

He quickly knelt down, careful not to get too close, but near enough to comfort her.

She sniffled, "Like Aemma… you… you'll pick the babe over me…"

He suddenly understood. 

"No," he said firmly. "No." He reached out, pulling her hand from her face to get her to look at him, "I won't. I would never pick the babe over you. Never."

She sniffled and shook her head reverently.

He felt his chest constrict. "You must believe me. Please."

Her eyes studied him intensely.

"If it came down to you or the babe, I would choose you. Every time, I would choose you."

Her voice was a croak, "You don't know that."

He felt like crying himself. "I do know that. Do not…" He took a breath to calm himself. "I love you more than anything. Trust me."

"Aemma trusted Viserys."

He shook his head, "What King Viserys wanted more than anything was an heir. I just want you."

Her puffy eyes met his, "What if you change your mind?"

"I am not changing my mind- not ever. Understand?"

Her eyes watered again, but she nodded.

"I want this with you. This child." He sighed, "But if you are in danger at any point, I will choose you. Without hesitation."

She sniffled as she considered his words.

He held out his arms again, "C'mere."

She clambered into his lap, practically melting into him once there.

He held her tightly, determined to reassure her through touch alone.

"You're my girl. Death will not find you while you're in my arms."

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Cregan Stark taglist: @misswynters, @cosmosnkaz, @sithapprentice, @kaniromi, @lovemesomevesey, @its-jackie-bb, @callsignwidow, @8812-342, @nyxbranwenn, @thorins-queen-of-erebor

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀

𝟭. travel ( ✈️ )

2024 took away many travel opportunities from me. i was supposed to go to barcelona with my family, but my grandfather passed away, and we stayed in italy to handle the funeral. i was supposed to travel to sofia with my cousin, but one of my exams was rescheduled to a date i couldn’t possibly miss, so i had to give up the trip. lastly, i was planning to go to valencia to celebrate my birthday, but a flood disrupted the city, and i couldn't go anymore.

in short, it was a frustrating year in this regard — i lost a lot of money and, most importantly, many opportunities to travel, which i believe has significantly inhibited me in this area. while i used to be much more inclined to book last-minute trips when the chance to travel on a budget arose, now i feel much more anxious about doing so.

i want 2025 to be filled with travels. i want to fully take advantage of the opportunities that circumstances beyond my control stole from me in 2024.

𝟮. keep my life even more private ( 🔒 )

it's been years now since i completely disappeared from social media. i no longer post photos or updates about my life online as if i were an influencer, and my daily life has significantly improved without the pressure to appear a certain way online. life is truly better when no one knows anything about you.

however, in real life, i'm quite the chatterbox, and i often find myself oversharing without even realizing it. that said, because i strongly believe in the evil eye, i've learned that, even if i have to bite my tongue, i can't share projects that are not yet completed — not even with the people closest to me, not even if i'm 100% sure they would be happy for me.

in fact, even though i cut off toxic people from my life two years ago, other friendships i thought were strong have ended this year. i want to live a peaceful, private life, even if that means staying silent. show results rather than plans.

𝟯. meditate and journal ( 🪴 )

i started this year (2024) well with this kind of self-care, but i completely lost it around may. i'll try again in 2025, hoping i can stick to it. if not, see you in 2026.

𝟰. indulge in healthy female friendships ( 🩷 )

two years ago, i cut ties with many toxic friendships that were holding me down and keeping me from healing. since then, i've been mostly alone, except for a few surviving connections i kept after high school. when i started university, i made new friendships, but they were very superficial and always centered around university matters.

however, since moving to spain, i've really understood which people were just taking from me without truly being interested in me as a person. in return, though, these past few months i've met some truly amazing girls in madrid, and i want to let myself indulge in that beautiful feminine energy that only girl friendships can give. wine and cheese in front of an episode of gilmore girls while you cut out pictures for your vision board.

𝟱. eat healthier ( 🥗 )

these past few months have been a rollercoaster with food. i've prepared a lot of homemade meals, but i've also ordered out quite often. i don't see anything wrong with ordering takeout or eating out with friends, but since it often happened when i was alone and didn't feel like cooking, i want to try to organize my cooking better and eat as many homemade meals as possible. of course, i won’t deprive myself of lunches and dinners out with friends, but i want to limit takeaway food to social occasions, not to lonely sundays.

it's been less than two years since i got out my ed and i want to keep the happy and healthy relationship with food i gained with so much hard work.

𝟲. keeping up with goals reached last year ( ☁️ )

obviously, all the work i’ve done over the past few years won’t go to waste! i want to persevere with the good habits i’ve developed and the work i’ve done on myself. the past few years have been strange and full of changes, but i feel like it’s all been positive. i’m happy with where i’ve gotten to and the person i’ve become, but i know i still have a long way ahead of me.

happy new year's eve everyone 🎉 which goals are you planning to reach?

[lesservillain]

inmate!eddie munson x reader

cw: smut, pregnancy talks and all that come with it, mentions of nausea and vomiting, hospitalization, i think that's it?

wc: 19k

a/n: finally. it's finally here. this has been a two year in the making project for me and I am so happy to have this out. on the outside was my first ever fic and i can't believe i'm actually saying good bye to these characters. i hope you all enjoy.

“Eddieee?” You call out for your fiance from where you stand in front of your refrigerator.

You were about to change out the calendar for the new year, head pounding as if you had celebrated the New Year drinking with everyone else despite your sobriety. Eddie had only had a few beers, but he woke up this morning feeling fresh as a daisy in comparison to how sick you felt. 

At first you were worried that maybe you had caught the flu. You hadn’t been feeling the best for a couple days, but chalked it up to how hard you had been working right before winter break to get all your students' grades in on time for the end of the semester. You’d also volunteered to chaperone the winter formal where, unfortunately, one of the students spiked the punch. Thankfully Eddie had been your chaperone date and handled the situation for you while you got sick in the bathroom hoping that you weren’t going to relapse after 18 months of sobriety.

But, now that you’re looking at the calendar all marked through, including the  ones with a red dot for your expected period days and little pink hearts on the subsequent fertile days, you realize that those days came and passed without notice. 

“What’s up, sweetheart?” Eddie asks as he pulls the new Iron Maiden hoodie you got him for the holiday over his head, curls bouncing as they are freed. Bear follows right behind him, coming up to you expectantly as he sees his box of treats sitting on top of the fridge.

“Babe, did I have a period this month?”

His head cocks to the side as he looks at you, eyes squinting and tongue poking out as he thinks about all the crazy shit that has happened this last month. With your crazy schedule and his extra hours at work, the two of you had barely had time to spend together, making it up to each other once your break had finally hit. But as he wracks his brain, he doesn’t recall you asking him to bring you home any sweets or crying any more than usual.

“Um, not that I can remember,” he says with a shake of his head. He watches as your eyes widen, a toothy smile spreading across your face before you cover it with your hands. It takes him a moment to figure out what has you all giddy, but when it hits him he’s flying to you, almost tripping over Bear as he wraps you up in a hug to spin you around. “Holy shit, please tell me you’re telling me what I think you’re telling me,” he says for lack of better words, brain short circuiting with excitement, placing you back down on your feet. 

“I mean, I can’t make any promises until I take a test,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, not wanting to get your hopes up after having your heart broken so many times before.

“Can you take a test now?” Eddie asks with a childish excitement. 

“I think so,” you say flipping between the calendar pages, now crushed from Eddie's embrace. Upon further inspection, you realize you’ve actually not had a period since October. It makes your head reel back, but you keep that information to yourself just in case. “Let-let me go take one,” you say shakily, nerves starting to get to you as you swiftly walk to the bathroom. The door barely closes before you’re digging under the sink for a test, cursing when the box you had under the sink comes up empty. “Shit,” you curse, throwing the box into the bathroom trash can with force.

“Are you okay?” you hear from the other side of the door, followed by a whine from  your dog. You startle the both of them with the force you use to swing the door open. 

“I took the last one already,” you say with frustration, “I’m all out!”

“Well, come on, lets go get your shoes on,” Eddie brushes your frustration to the side, grabbing your hand and leading you out to the couch. He grabs your boots for you, unlacing them so he can put them on your feet. You can’t even stay mad at your own shortcoming when he’s treating you so well.

“Eddie, I can put my own shoes on,” you say with a chuckle. His big brown eyes look up at you with faux offense, still grabbing your foot and slipping it into the boot. 

“I don’t think so, princess,” he says with a playful sass that you’ve grown fond of, because it really only comes out when he’s in a giddy mood like this. “I can’t have you doing anything that may make the baby uncomfortable, like bending over or lifting a finger.”

Your breath hitches at his words. The baby. The one that may or may not be making a home inside of you right now. Eddie’s baby, with you. 

Bile threatens to travel higher as you look at how he’s beaming in front of you. Eddie’s never known the heartbreak that you’ve known when it comes to these things; wanting something so bad and yet your body doesn’t comply. He’s been so patient and understanding since you’ve started trying. Everything that you wish you had all those years when you were with Henry, which only made you want to give him a baby more. Anyone so kind, caring, and self sacrificing as Eddie deserved everything he’s ever wanted and more. 

Every month that you’ve sat silently sobbing as you stare at the one lonely line while he snores into his pillow none the wiser has been another twist of the guilt covered knife in your gut. He doesn’t ask about it, even if he sees the wrapper sticking out between the tissues you used to clean your tears. But he tends to you with acts of kindness and service, his love language with you. 

The same love language he displayed as he put on your shoes. Same as when he went out to start the car for you, opening the door and fastening your seatbelt, making sure it’s not too snug across your lap. He let you grab your tests, meeting you at the front of the store with a bundle of flowers hidden poorly behind his back. He makes you walk in front of him so he can “surprise you” when you get to the car. 

Eddie practically jumps out of the car to help you out as you arrive back to your house. Bear jumps between the two of you as you two run back to the bathroom, letting out loud giggles and squeals as Eddie pretends to chase you into the bathroom. You close the door on him, catching your breath and wiping tears from your eyes as he bangs on the door for you to let him in. Bear barks at him and Eddie laughs calling him a traitor. When you hear them walk away, presumably so Eddie can let Bear out, you pull the box of tests out of the bag. 

Taking a deep breath, your hands start to shake as you set everything up, reading over the instructions regardless of how many tests you’ve taken. You didn’t want to mess this up. Not this one. Every time someone told you that you would just know when you were pregnant, you thought you knew what they meant, only to be met with the negative test. This time felt different, though. Every tick of the clock was another butterfly in your stomach. And with the closing seconds, you felt your breathing pick up, chest tightening with anticipation. You stand up, hand hovering over the wrapper of the test. Counting one, two, three, before pulling the wrapper away.

Eddie sits on the edge of the bed, petting Bear on autopilot. He wasn’t sure how long these tests normally take, but after 10 minutes he was starting to get nervous. What if you were pregnant? It’s a good thing you found a house with a lot of space. He wondered what color you would want him to paint the nursery. Would you want to wait to find out what you’re having or would you want to find out as soon as possible? He would want to know right away, but would wait if you wanted him to. Is your car safe for a baby? He’ll just have to pick up some extra hours to get you a new one. Oh, god, would you want a minivan like Nancy and Jonathan…though, it does come in handy if you have multiple kids. Would you want more kids after this? 

Bear’s ears perk up under Eddie’s touch as the door to the bathroom clicks, the door opening much more gracefully compared to before. He’s on his feet immediately, slightly shuffling as he waits for you to come out. Any thoughts he had before the door opened are immediately evacuated from his mind as he sees the vacant look on your face, the tears flowing freely down your cheeks being the only hint of emotion he can gauge from you. 

His legs move on their own, pulling you into him as your knees buckle. He holds you up as the sobs shake your whole body in his grasp. Everything is automatic for him as your wails echo on the bathroom walls. Lowering you to the edge of the tub, he starts the shower, letting the water warm up as he undresses you, and then himself. He climbs into the tub, pulling you in with him so that the water hits the both of you as you continue to cry.

“Eddie!” Your voice is frantic as you call his name from the kitchen. You hear him running down the hall, a loud thump and a curse towards Bear as the two of them round the corner into the kitchen. 

When you answered the phone, you assumed it was going to be Dustin telling you that he and his new girlfriend, Maggie, would be leaving soon for your double date that he and Eddie worked really hard to find reservations on Valentine’s day for. Instead, you were met with the urgent voice of Wayne’s boss, Bill, who informed you that Wayne had passed out on the line again.

Eddie folded where he stood, spiraling into old memories from close to a decade ago. Bear laid next to where he kneeled while you got the quick details from Bill before hanging up. Quickly, you lead Eddie to the couch so you could lace his converse, pull his Iron Maiden hoodie over his head, and get him out the door and buckled into the passenger seat. 

About halfway to the hospital he finally breaks down, almost scaring you off the road when he cursed loudly, slamming his fist against the window. You let him get it out, offering your hand for him to take when he was ready, which he grabs almost immediately. Pulling your hand against his lips, he kisses your knuckles between sobs, eyes fixed out the side window. 

As you pull into Hawkins General, you let Eddie out at the door so he can get inside as fast as possible. Soon after you park, you make your way up to the room that you were told Wayne was in. You were expecting to walk in and find Wayne still unconscious with Eddie a mess by his side. 

Instead, you could hear the two of them bickering from the hallway. The sound was bittersweet, a smile on your face as you walk in and see a very exasperated Eddie pacing and a disgruntled Wayne sitting cross-armed in the hospital bed like a petulant child. You noticed the oxygen tubes in his nose, and he looked generally worse off than he did when you saw him two weeks ago for Sunday dinner.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me!” Eddie exclaims, not noticing that you’ve walked in the room yet.

“What did he not listen to this time?” You say jokingly as you walk to the other side of Wayne’s bed, leaning in to give him a hug that he returns with an old man grunt.

“Not just me,” Edde starts, “We both told him to go get that cough looked at and he never did. Well guess what? His stubborn ass has fucking pneumonia!”

“Wayne,” you look at him with concern. His eyes remain focused on the foot of the bed, ignoring that he’d been caught. “You’ve had that cough since Christmas. And I remember you promising me that you’d go and get checked out.” 

The old man lets out a sigh that turns into a cough. You place a hand on his back and rub up and down, eliciting an eye roll from Eddie as he watches you baby his uncle.

“Listen, I’ve been meaning to go, but I just haven’t had the time.”

“Oh, you have to be joking. You couldn’t find time between your shows to pick up the phone and call the doctor?”

“Eddie,” you give him a pointed look. 

“You can’t be--”

Eddie’s words are cut off by the doctor pulling open the curtain to Wayne’s room. The balding, older man greets you all, confirming some information with Wayne before going over some more of his test results. 

“Everything else came back fairly normal. Your blood pressure was a little high, but that’s to be expected. Just make sure you keep up on your blood pressure medication. Don’t want to have a stroke and a heart attack within a year, right?” 

The doctor is the only one laughing at his joke. Eddie’s eyes snap to Wayne, who grumbles “shit” under his breath. But Eddie keeps his mouth shut, letting the doctor finish and leave before finally speaking.

“So, when the hell did you have another heart attack, Wayne?”

“Eddie,” Wayne rolls his head, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No,” Eddie says, waving his hands in front of him, “I know that I don’t live with you anymore, but I think it’s only fair that you tell me if you have another fucking heart attack!”

“After what you did last time, you really think I’d tell you?”

“Damn it, Wayne! Don’t hold that shit above my head!”

“Okay, okay,” you move around the bed to stand between the two of them. “That’s enough, you two. Wayne, I get why you might be discouraged to tell Eddie that you had another heart attack, but you have to understand that things are different now. Shit, even I’m hurt that you didn’t say anything.” He looks up at you with a wounded expression.

“And Eddie,” you place your hands gently on either cheek before tightening your grip, “You need to stop yelling before you get us kicked out.” His expression drops to annoyance, grabbing your wrists lightly and pulling your hands away. “Wayne only wants what’s best for you, just as you want what’s best for him. So…why don’t we talk about what we’ve discussed before.”

His eyes meet yours, mood shifting between you as he nods his head, reaching out to take your hand in his. When you turn around, Wayne is eyeing you both suspiciously, letting out another cough.

“Wayne,” Eddie starts, “When we got the house, the two of us sat down and talked about what we would do if you had another heart attack. Or if anything major happened to you again. And, um, we decided that we would want you to move in with us if--”

“No.”

“Wayne--”

“Nope.”

“Just hear us out,” you plead. He looks at you out of the corner of his eye. “Please?”

“...Fine,” he says with a huff. 

Eddie smiles slyly at you, thankful that he has you around to be on his side.

“Uncle Wayne,” you start, hitting him in that soft spot when you call him uncle, “We would really like for you to move in with us. Not to take away any of your freedom or anything. Actually, you’d be more free…because we also want you to retire from the plant.” 

Wayne’s brow raises at your suggestion. 

“Eddie and I make enough money between us that you wouldn’t need to work unless you wanted to. You’d have all the free time to fish and hunt and watch your trash TV. Which, may I remind you, we have that big TV in the living room now. Plus, Bear would love to have someone at home with him all day.”

He grunts again. Bear loves Wayne, but Wayne is steadfast in his dislike for Bear, even though you’ve caught him giving him people food and the occasional scratch behind the ear.

“You sure y’all want me to move in? Won't get to have all your alone time together anymore,” he asks, seeking confirmation of your proposal. 

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, pops,” Eddie says with a smile, “We’ll figure that out ourselves.”

The next month weeks flew by for you and Eddie. You’d been busy prepping your sophomores for the upcoming state testing that takes place the week before Spring Break as well as running yard sales during the most uncharacteristically warm winter that Indiana was giving you to get rid of any of Wayne’s extra stuff. There was also the babysitting for Chrissy and Jason you’d been doing while they remodel their kitchen. And that was just your schedule, as Eddie had a slew of his own obligations on his end with work and prepping the house for Wayne to move in.

The two of you found it almost impossible to have any time together. Almost being the key word here, because Eddie could find time to bed you like it was his job. The week before Wayne finally made his big move, the two of you were on each other like rabbits at any given moment. 

Now Wayne was fully moved in. He opted to rent the trailer out for cheap to a single mom who was looking around the park for something that she could afford for her and her son. He finished his last week at the plant, his boss and coworkers throwing him a surprise retirement party at the pool hall they like to frequent. Eddie and you decided to get a hold of his longtime friend down in Florida and sent him away for a week to have a buddies trip and to “get some more vitamin D in your system after working the night shift for so long” according to Eddie.

Eddie may or may not have purposely planned Wayne’s trip during the same time that you’d be off for spring break, but wouldn’t admit that to you. He just wanted to get you all to himself so bad, eating his words to Wayne about having alone time together. The only thing making him feel a little less crazy about the whole thing is your little remarks about how it would be even worse if it was a baby you were bringing home, and that at least the two of you are still getting a full night's sleep. So, he sucked it up until the day finally came that he was to take Wayne to the airport.

He quietly gave your sleeping form a peck on the cheek that morning before the two of them left, not wanting to wake you since you loved to sleep in on your days off. You’d been feeling sick again, similar to how you felt right before the winter break a few months back. Eddie was worried that they were putting too much responsibility on you by having you teach two grades at the same time, but you assured him that you could handle it, that once you were off for the summer that you’d feel better. 

You woke up around 11 am with a headache so bad it made you sick to your stomach. You’d been having them off and on for about a week, barely able to stand the fluorescent lights of your classroom or the smell of the coffee pot in the break room. At least your sophomore students spent most of the morning testing, and by the end of the week you were playing a movie for all of your classes as an excuse to keep the lights off. 

After puking up bile for 20 minutes, your stomach gave you a break so that you could make yourself look presentable enough for the doctor’s office. Eddie made you promise him that if you weren’t better by today that you would go and get checked out. So you shove some buttered toast into your mouth and cross your fingers in hopes that you’ll make it to the doctor without having to pull over and spill your guts.

Thankfully, the urgent care in town wasn’t busy and you were taken back to a room fairly quickly. The nurse asked you a slew of questions in a monotone voice as your mouth watered from the wave of nausea that hit you again. When you jumped up suddenly to wretch in the small trash can on the floor, you heard her say something about a pregnancy test in a passive manner. 

“Pregnancy test?” You ask between heaving breaths. 

“Yes, dear,’ she says nonchalantly as she continues to write on her stack of papers. A different feeling filled your stomach then, coating it with nerves that seemed to distract you long enough to get you off the floor. 

Ever since the let down from New Years, you and Eddie hadn’t talked much about kids other than some off hand comments here and there. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to keep trying, but the two of you decided to go with the flow and let things happen if they happen. 

At least that’s what you told anyone who asked. 

In your head you’ve been beating yourself up all over again, just like you did for so many years, which is probably only making you more sick. You almost tell the nurse not to even bother with the test, but she seemed like she wasn’t having the best day so you just let her take your blood and be on her merry way. 

When the doctor finally comes in, he gives you a quick look over and tells you to take some benadryl for your symptoms. It left you feeling annoyed, wishing you had just stayed home and done that yourself instead of wasting your time coming in.

As you leave he tells you he’ll call you later in the day with your test results and any other instructions that he seems necessary. It’s not exactly what you want to hear, but you didn’t protest as you signed some consent forms at check out, just wanting to get back to your bed.

When you woke up a little while later, you had to admit that you did feel much better than in the morning. Maybe you were just getting to an age where your allergies were getting more sensitive.

As you amble into the kitchen, the flashing light from your answering machine catches your eye. You press play as you open the door to let Bear out, listening to the machine play as you start to pull out everything to make a late lunch before Eddie gets home from his half day at work.

You have 3 new messages.

First new message.

Beep. 

Hey guys, it’s Dustin. I was calling to see if we could get a game set up for Friday? The guys and Erica are going to be in town and we’ve been talking about playing a game with everyone together again. Will said he would DM if you didn’t want to, but we’d like to have you back in the throne if the missus could get us into the theater room. Give me a call back as soon as you can and let me know. Bye!

Beep.

Second message.

Hey, sweetheart. Just wanted to let you know I got to work okay. I’m gonna stop and pick up a pizza on the way home, so don’t worry about cooking dinner tonight. Want you to be as relaxed and rested as possible for what I got in store for you tonight. Love you, baby.

Beep.

Third message.

Hello, this is Dr. Mando calling for…in regards to her test results. Everything came back negative in regards to your flu and strep tests. Blood work wise the only elevated result was for your HCG, which puts you around 9 weeks pregnant currently. We recommend you follow up with your OBGYN from this point on for any more treatment. If our results are needed for their records please have them fax a request form to-

[REWIND]

-ep tests. Blood work wise the only elevated result was for your HCG, which puts you around 9 weeks pregnant currently. We recommend you follow up with your OBG-

[REWIND]

-only elevated result was for your HCG, which puts you around 9 weeks pregnant currently. We-

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-hich puts you around 9 weeks pregnant currently. We recom-

Bear scratching at the door pulled you from your trance as you played back the message over and over again. You didn’t want to walk away, afraid that if you left the machine that the message would somehow disappear. Or that if you played the message again the words would change. Or that you would wake up and realize that you’re having a benadryl induced dream while you’re still asleep in your bed. But the feeling of Bear’s fur brushing against your leg throttles you into reality. 

You are awake right now.

And for the first time in your life you’ve been pregnant for more than 6 weeks. 

With haste, you pick up the phone line and begin to dial the first person who you know can help you.

Keeping secrets from Eddie was a challenge. His intuition when it came to you was almost scary. At times it felt like he knew you better than you knew yourself. Which, honestly, he might. But, it doesn’t help when he wants to be with you every waking second of the day. Something that you want, too, but every time you look at him you have to duck your head or avert your gaze to keep yourself from blurting out the news to him. 

It’s also been incredibly hard to deny all of his advances.

He’s not pressured you to do anything with him, never has, but you can tell he’s letting your rejections get to him in a self doubting way. Even when you did give him head hoping it would be enough, his pouty lip almost got you when you told him not to return the favor.

You do feel for him. The two of you had been planning to have quite the week with Wayne being out of the house. But even if you could have sex with him, not wanting to risk anything with how rough he can get at times, you honestly weren’t in the mood anyway. Benadryl was the only thing helping with your nausea and headaches so you were constantly drowsy. And now you were getting terrible acid reflux on top of it, going through tums like candy.

When you told Eddie that you made an appointment with your primary doctor for Friday morning, he insisted that he take you in case there was anything he could do to help. You told him not to worry about it, keeping from him that the appointment was actually with your OB. You felt guilty when the ultrasound tech handed you the grainy pictures of your little baby because you know that Eddie would have wanted to be with you for this moment, but it would all be worth it tonight as long as everything went to plan.

When you and Eddie pulled into the closed high school later that day, you were greeted by the now familiar, smiling faces of your fiance’s long time friends. It wasn’t often that all of them could get together like this between work, school, and their own families. But even with all of their big ages, the atmosphere as they all embraced each other was of childlike giddiness. You were included in the rounds of hugs and pats on the back as you had been accepted so openly by everyone over the course of yours and Eddie’s relationship. The tightest hug was from Eddie’s best friend, Jeff, the two of you share a knowing look with one another as you part.

Once everyone files inside, they begin to work together to set the old theatre room set up like they had back in the day. It was funny to watch them move around each other out of muscle memory, with a few more grunts and groans than they likely let out all those years ago. 

And as they start to play, the energy in the room becomes electrifying. There isn’t a single person sitting by their second hour in, voices talking over each other as the room is divided over combat choices. Even if you only had a basic understanding of what was happening, you were very much entertained where you sat next to Eddie at the end of the table. 

It was a sight to see Eddie in his element up close. The passion he has for this game was on another level. There’s no way that it was anything less than cathartic for him to be in a state of power like this, playing every part as if he was performing for an audience, using his whole body and voice to play each character as if he was truly in the fantasy world he created.

It made you tear up a bit, having to discreetly wipe your eyes to hide the emotions so as not to make him worry or pull him out of his game. But the images in your head of him playing pretend in the backyard with your child has a lump sitting in your throat. The two of them with pillow cases as capes and sticks as swords slaying dragons (Bear) while you watch them from the kitchen window. 

You end up having to excuse yourself to the restroom, needing a moment to collect yourself in your newly hormonal state. You barely make it into the hallway before the water works start, bee-lining for the closest restroom so you can let it out. Anyone passing by would probably think you were crying over some devastating news with the way you were blubbering and wailing. 

You do your best to clean yourself up, but you know Eddie will be able to tell you’ve been crying. So instead of going straight to the drama room, you decide to go to your classroom and work on some assignments for your classes on Monday. 

After a while, a knock on your door startles you, head whipping to see your man standing at the doorway to your classroom with a concerned look on his face.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asks as he takes a few steps to stand by you at your desk. “Were we boring you with our nerdy game?”

“No, not at all!” You stand from your desk with a shake of your head. “I just wasn’t feeling well and needed a little quiet, that’s all.” You give him a reassuring smile, taking his hand in yours. He raises it to his lips and kisses the knuckles, taking a moment to admire your ring before letting your hands fall, still clasped between the two of you. 

“We’re taking a break right now,” he says with a suggestive tone you know all too well. There’s a mischievous look in his eyes as he glances up at the clock on the wall. “Need to be back in five minutes,” he leans into you, dipping his head to speak low in your ear, “Think that’s enough time for me to get you on your desk like last time?”

You feel the heat flush to your cheeks at the mentions of your previous inappropriate endeavors in this classroom. For a brief moment you consider his proposition, but ultimately you pull away with a sympathetic look.

“As fun as that sounds, you and I both know 5 minutes isn’t enough time for you,” you poke his chest and he gives you a shit eating grin, “And I would be mortified if any of your friends walked in on us because you took too long to come back to your game.”

“It might be too long for me,” he draws out the last word as he runs his hands up and down your sides, “but I think I could take care of you if you’ve got room for me under that desk.” 

His brows move suggestively as he waits for your response, which is just a playful roll of the eye and a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Eds, but I’m okay.”

“Well, alright,” he sighs heavily, his tone laced with faux disappointment, “I guess I’ll just starve.” You throw your head back with laughter at his dramatics, him joining you with a fit of giggles of his own. 

You decided to return to the game with him, everyone getting swept up once again in the game's energy that Eddie puts out into the room. The enjoyment is clear with how engaged everyone is, jumping up and down or yelling out like a group of your students rather than a room full of adults. 

Erica and Dustin get into it over a decision in game, and you get to witness Eddie’s potential Dad Mode as he defuses the situation with no one getting their feelings hurt. You can’t help it, but for the rest of the game you subconsciously note little things that he does that may be a preview for how he’s going to handle parenthood with you. And when the group wins against whatever big monster Eddie had them fighting against, you can feel the ache in your cheeks from all the smiling you’ve done while observing them.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this shit cleaned up,” he says as they start to tease him. He gives you a look that you can only interpret as “I totally let them win” before he starts putting away his things. 

“Hey, look what I found,” Jeff suddenly speaks up from across the room. He’s holding up a box that you know has some of their club's shirts in them for the new members. You feel your heart drop into your ass. 

Shit, it’s happening. 

“Looks like they’re still using your old design, Eddie.” Jeff says as he plops the box down on the table. You feel your heart pounding in your chest as you focus on not passing out.

“Guess you can’t fix perfection,” Eddie quips back, which elicits a few groans in response.

“Do you have a shirt?”

Your eyes flit to Will where he’s moved to stand next to you. You look at him for a moment before shaking your head, still unable to open your mouth.

“Oh, good idea, kid,” Eddie says as he places a hand on your shoulder. “You sat through a whole game, so that makes you an honorary member.”

You look over to Jeff, who gives you a subtle nod to signal that everything was good to go. It’s not exactly what the two of you had discussed, but this seemed a little more natural for the situation.

As you rise from your chair, you’re able to let out a small “okay” before walking to stand next to Jeff. You take a sharp inhale when you see it, the small bundle of material folded at the top of the other shirts. 

All eyes are on you as you reach down into the box. You pretend to look through the pile before grabbing what you really want, pulling it out of the box and holding it up with both hands. It’s the first time you’re seeing it yourself, the small onesie version of the Hellfire shirt that Eddie made almost 15 years ago, black quarter sleeves and all. It’s exactly what you imagined, and you’re so, so thankful that Jeff was able to bring your vision to life.

“What do you think about this one, Eds?” 

The words roll off your tongue without you thinking, your mouth moving on its own as it’s tired of waiting for your brain to catch up. Flipping the onesie around for the table to see, your eyes find Eddie’s. You watch in real time as the emotions come and go from his features; ignorant joy, confusion, and realization.

“No way!” You hear Dustin shout, too focused on Eddie to pay him any attention though.

“Dude holy shit!”

“Hell yeah man! It’s about time!”

“I call dibs on babysitting!”

“Are you serious?” His voice cracks, a loud sniffle escaping as his body starts to shake. Fat tears roll down his reddening cheeks that he tries to wipe with his sleeve. “Is this real?”

You nod, your own tears coming back once again. “Ten weeks,” you say as you exhale, doing your best to hold it together.

Eddie moves quickly to be by your side, taking your face in his hands and crashing his lips into yours. Collective oohs and awes swirl around you at the display of affection between you. When he pulls away he uses the collar of his shirt to wipe the tears from his eyes, letting out an airy chuckle. 

You hold the onesie out for him to take, and he holds it in his hands with such delicacy, as if it's the baby itself. 

“When did you find out?” He asks with a sniffle, not taking his eyes off the little article of clothing.

“On Monday, after my appointment.”

“You’ve known since Monday?” He almost seems upset, but there’s no way he could be mad at you right now. “Well, I guess that explains a lot.”

“I’m sorry, Eds. Trust me, it was really hard not to say anything. But, I feel like it finally paid off. All thanks to Jeff.”

You turn to gesture to him, and Jeff takes a small bow. “Happy to do my part for my future niece and or nephew. Just gotta let me know if I need to make another one in case it’s twins.”

“Twins?!” Eddie looks at you with wide eyes and an even wider smile.

“It’s not twins. Here,” you walk over to your purse and pull the strip of pictures from your purse. “See for yourself.”

Eddie takes the picture from you and examines them. Excited laughter takes over him. “Holy shit, I’m gonna be dad!” The gang surrounds him, congratulating the both of you.

“What if he sees it and doesn’t get it?”

“Babe, the sign literally says ‘Welcome home Grandpa’. I know he’s old but I’m sure he’ll catch on pretty quickly.”

Eddie and you stand at the end of the gate in the Indianapolis airport waiting for Wayne to make his way down the tunnel. The two of you thought it would be fun to surprise him about his promotion when you pick him up, making a day out of it to find him a new mug to surprise him with as well. Eddie holds the gift bag in one hand while you hold the sign, both of you skimming the crowd of people for the balding Munson in the mix.

“There he is!” Eddie nudges you, pointing into the crowd, “Hold it up so he can see!”

You raise the sign above your head as Eddie waves to get Wayne’s attention. Even from where you’re standing you can see the old man smile, then quint to read your sign. He’s almost to you before the look on his face changes.

“What the--What the hell did y’all do while I was gone?” Wayne drops his bags and wraps his arms around the two of you.

“Technically it was before you left,” Eddie laughs, returning his uncles embrace.

“Is that why y’all sent me away then? Do I gotta move back out to make room in the house now?”

“No, of course not,” you laugh, handing him the sign to look at. 

“We’re not about to kick out Hawkin’s next great babysitter,” Eddie says as he puts a hand on Wayne’s shoulder. The older man huffs out a laugh, smile wide as he runs his fingers over the word grandpa. 

“So that’s the real reason you wanted me to move in,” he says, looking at the two of you again. “I thought I was supposed to be retired?”

“Well, I hope your time off was enough because we’ll need you on duty in about 9 months.” Wayne shakes his head. Eddie hands Wayne the gift bag and he opens it to find the mug inside. 

“I love my Grandpa,” Wayne reads from the mug, a hand going to his eyes as he wipes away tears. “Shit you guys. I’m so happy for ya.” Tears start to well up in your own eyes and you pull Wayne in for a side hug. 

The three of you make your way home, discussing your future with the baby the whole way. Talks of all the diapers you’ll need to get, who will get up in the middle of the night to feed and change diapers, names and all the other fun parts that come with being a parent.

“So we gotta paint soon,” Wayne says from the passenger seat. “Do y’all have a colour picked out?” 

“Since we won't know the gender for a while,” you say from the back seat, “we talked about painting the baby’s room a light green for now. We can always paint it again later down the road.” 

“That sounds nice,” Wayne says with a nod. “We can pick some up this weekend and I’ll paint while the two of you are at work. It’s warm enough out that I can open the window so the smell won’t get to ya.”

“You sure you wanna do that by yourself?” Eddie asks, turning into the driveway. 

“Sure, gives me a break from the couch. I know the two of you are gonna be busy so might as well make myself useful.”

“We would really appreciate that, Uncle Wayne,” you say, putting a hand on his shoulder. He turns back to look at you, resting his hand on yours. 

“What’s wrong?” Robin says from her spot next to you at the bathroom sink. The two of you, plus Steve and Eddie, had decided to take a trip to the mall today. This was your third trip to the restroom since you’d been there and you could tell Robin was getting suspicious. 

“If you have a UTI or something you definitely need to go to the doctor, you know?”

“I’m fine, Robin.” You dry your hands, tossing the paper towel in the trash. “I just had a lot of coffee this morning,” you lie. 

The truth was that you were planning on surprising her and Steve today with a pit stop in the baby clothes store that Missy and Nancy had gone to when you went shopping with them a few months ago. It was a newer store and you knew that it would be fun little way to tell them your news. 

“You have to lay off that stuff,” Robin voices her concern. “I’m pretty sure I heard it makes your boobs shrink.”

“I don’t think so Bobbie.”

The two of you reconvene back with Steve and Eddie who were waiting for you on a bench. Eddie looked like a real dad with sitting there with the shopping bags in his hands. You took a moment to admire how long his hair was starting to get before they noticed you. 

“Ready for our last stop?” Eddie says, suddenly standing up. He’s had a nervous air about him this whole trip, and you don’t know why. Steve and Robin are going to be over the moon when you tell them, but you suppose it’s just because he’s excited. 

“Yeah, where did you want to go?” Steve asks, looking between you two. 

“Oh, just a shop over by where we parked.” 

The four of you make your way toward the other side of the mall. Eddie and you both stop at in front of the Baby Gap, Robin and Steve pausing when they realize you’ve stopped. 

“You good?” Steve asks. 

“Yep, we just need to pop in here.”

Steve and Robin look up at the store and share a look. 

“Does Nancy need stuff?” Robin asks quizzically. 

“Nope, we just need to get some things for ourselves,” you say, staring at them hoping it will click. 

“What do you guys need at Baby Gap?”

“Duh, what else do they sell here, Steve?” Robin nudges him. And then she looks at you with wide eyes. “Oh my god, you guys are buying baby clothes?”

Eddie and you both nod excitedly. Robin squeals, bouncing up and down. Steve still looks confused. 

“Why are we excited?”

“They’re pregnant, dingus!”

Now it was Steve’s turn to look at you with saucers for eyes. 

“Nuh-uh,” he says with a grin. 

“Yes, sir,” Eddie nods, putting an arm around you. 

Steve grabs Robins arm and shakes it, still looking at the two of you. “No way!” He says excitedly. “About damn time!”

“How far along are you? Do you know the gender yet?” Robin asks in quick succession. 

“I’m about 12 weeks. We won't know the gender for a little while longer, but Wayne already picked out the nursery room color for us.”

“Oh I bet he was over the moon to find out,” Robin coos. 

“He was. He’s very excited to be a grandpa.”

“Grandpa Wayne, oh my god.”

“Do you have any names picked out?” Steve asks. 

“We don’t have any names yet,” you say, looking up at Eddie, “But we’re open to ideas.”

“Well, Steve is a good name—Ow!”

“They’re not naming their baby after you Steve.”

“It was just a suggestion!”

“Besides, Robin is more gender neutral anyway.”

“Eddie.”

Brown eyes dart from the TV and over to where you stand in the doorway. Eddie shifts and stands, walking over to you with urgency. 

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” He asks with concern. 

You sniffle, looking up at him through your lashes. “We don’t have any pickles…” 

Eddie sighs in relief, glad that your tone wasn’t due to something serious. 

“We don’t,” he confirms, looking down at you. “But I’m guessing we need to remedy that?” 

You nod, and Eddie can’t help but giggle. The stage of weird cravings had started a week ago and you’d been asking him to buy you the most random foods. Bananas and hot sauce, sour cream that you ate from the tub, and now pickles. 

“Can you get strawberry ice cream, too?” You ask sheepishly. 

“Of course,” he assures you. “Anything for my babies.”

Your emotions get to you with that, and you can’t help but cry. Eddie would be concerned if this hadn’t become a semi-regular occurrence for you now. He simply pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head. 

Bear makes his way over to you, looking up as the two of you embrace. You’re both sure he knows something is up, because he’s been by you constantly since you found out you were pregnant. It's almost like he’s standing guard to make sure no one gets near you. 

“I’m okay, Bear,” you say, dropping down to squat at his level. He pants as you give him ear scritches, enjoying every second of it. Eddie takes the opportunity to grab his shoes and put them on. 

“Anything else you might want me to grab while I’m out?”

“More milk? And probably more cereal for you and Wayne. I think I ate the last of it earlier.”

“I’ll get you your own box.”

Bear rested at your feet as you graded papers at the dining room table. It was getting close to the end of the school year and you didn’t want to let being pregnant put you behind. 

Most of your kids were passing, which was a relief to you. It was a hard year but teaching two grades was an experience that you were glad you got to have. Thankfully the school was able to find a replacement teacher for your sophomore class next year, thanks to a recommendation by yours truly. 

“It’ll be so nice for you to have someone like Will teaching with you,” Eddie says as he finishes making you lunch. 

“It's going to be a big change from middle school, though,” you say as you set down your grading marker. “It was for me at least.”

“Will’s smart, he can manage. Plus he’ll have you for support.” 

“Only for the first few months. Then I’ll be gone for most of the year.”

You had an appointment a few weeks back to find out you were due around Halloween. The irony of it all was that you probably got pregnant right after you had taken the test back in January. Life works in mysterious ways you thought. 

“True, but he can always call here if he needs something. Plus, I’m sure the other teachers are going to love him.”

“Oh they will. I just hope they don’t treat him too much like a kid.” 

Eddie puts a plate in front of you and takes a seat. “He is still young,” he says before he takes a bite of his sandwich. “Buy that will probably make him more relatable to the kids, ya know?”

You nod, taking a bite of your own food. The nausea has started to subside now that you were in your second trimester, which made it easier to eat foods that you weren’t necessarily craving. Still, you took your time eating so not to trigger anything. 

“Are you excited for tonight?” Eddie asks, taking a chip from your plate and popping it in his mouth. 

“Yes, I can’t wait to see their faces.”

Eddie and you finally decided to start telling more people about your pregnancy now that you were in the second trimester. Chrissy had been begging you for a double date for weeks now and you’d been putting her off so that you wouldn’t spill the beans too soon. So tonight was going to be the big reveal. 

Chrissy had become a really good friend ever since she sold you the house. She was a busy mom and successful realtor but she always made time to call and check in on you. It honestly was hard not to tell her when you’ve told your other friends, but you wanted to be sure you’d make it to the second trimester before telling too many people per the doctor's suggestion. 

So when you and Eddie arrived at the Golden Lamb, you could already feel the butterflies in your stomach. Thankfully you were too soon to be showing so they wouldn't know right away. 

“I honestly thought it would be hard with a fifth, but Chrissy has been nothing but a superstar about it all,” Jason says as you all share an appetizer. You were barely talking because the food was so good you just kept eating it. 

“Awe, so have you!” Chrissy says, beaming at the praise. “Jason’s been doing great making sure the boys are on their best behavior while I’ve been recovering.”

“How is that? The recovery, that is.”

You look up at Eddie when he asks the question. 

“It’s hard, I’m not going to lie. But when you’ve done it before it definitely helps to know what to expect. You guys will know one day.” Chrissy winks at you. 

“Yeah, about that..”

“You’re pregnant.”

You freeze at her words. Chrissy brings her hands to her mouth and gasps.

“H-how did you know?” You ask bewildered. 

“I knew it! I could just tell when I saw you!” 

“Woah, congratulations, man!” Jason reaches his hand across the table for Eddie to shake, which he does. 

“Oh I can’t wait! Our kids are going to be best little friends!”

That made you happy to hear. Chrissy’s youngest and even Nancy’s youngest baby weren’t going to be too much older than yours. He or she already has friends waiting for them, and that made you feel a sense of joy in your heart.

“Do you know the gender yet?” Jason asks. 

“We find out in a couple weeks,” Eddie says proudly. 

“Are you hoping for anything or just feeling blessed regardless?”

Truth is you’d gone back and forth or whether or not you wanted a boy or girl. You’d be happy with either, but the idea of a little girl to dress up would be fun. You know Eddie wants a boy, but has also expressed that he’s just happy to have a baby with you. 

“I’m just happy to be this far,” you finally say. “Although I think a girl would be fun.” You add that last part in without looking at Eddie. 

“Oh a little girl!” Chrissy squeals. “I always wanted a daughter but I’m happy with my little team of boys. But if you have a girl I will be living vicariously through you.” 

“Hey, we can always try again.” Jason says, giving Chrissy a little nudge. She rolls her eyes at him. You know she would be happy to have more kids, though. 

“I personally want a boy,” Eddie announces, looking at you. 

“Oh, man, boys are so fun. Our house is like a madhouse, but it’s totally worth it.”

“Which reminds me,” Chrissy chimes in, “Jacob wants to learn guitar. I was wondering if we paid you if you wouldn’t mind giving him lessons?”

Eddie is taken aback at this request. A Carver kid wants to play guitar? 

“Y-yeah, sure. That’s your second oldest, right?” 

You were pleasantly surprised that Eddie remembered, even after all the times you’ve drilled the names and ages of their kids into his head. 

“Yep! Little Jacob wants to be a rockstar someday,” Jason adds. 

“Hell yeah, that’s awesome,” Eddie says, nodding his head. “Just let me know when works for you guys.”

“We were thinking about dropping him off after church on Sundays? Maybe he can spend an hour or so with you?”

“That would be perfect,” you say, nodding to Eddie. 

“Obviously not when you have the baby, we can wait until after that if you want. “

“No, it should be fine,” you say, “Bring him over whenever. It will probably be easier to start now before the baby anyway.”

“Thanks, man, I really appreciate it,” Jason nods to Eddie. “By the way, have you ever heard of a band called Stryper?”

“Eddie! Quick!”

Eddie looks over at you as you come darting to him. He watches as you take his free hand and spin him around, toothbrush still in his mouth as he was getting ready for work.

“Wha es et?” He asks through a mouth full of toothpaste.

Wordlessly, you take his hand and place it on the side of your bump. The both of you are still as you wait for something to happen. After a few beats, you start to feel disappointed.

“I swear I felt them kicking,” you say dejectedly, letting go of Eddie’s hand.

“What, really?” He asks after spitting the toothpaste out of his mouth.

“Try again and maybe press down some?”

“Will that hurt it?”

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe agitate them a bit.”

Eddie puts his hand back on your barely there bump and presses down on it. It’s still for a few moments, and nothing happens. You let out a frustrated huff and cross your arms defeated. 

“I really did feel them.”

“I believe you, sweetheart. That’s so exciting,” Eddie says rubbing your arms with his thumbs,

Then you feel it again.

You gasp, grabbing his hand again and moving it to the spot where you felt the movement. Eddie’s hand rested there and you waited another moment. Nothing.

“Damn it--” 

Then it happened again. Eddie’s jaw dropped as he felt it that time, too stunned to speak.

“Wooooah,” he finally says, looking up at you.

“I know, right? Isn’t it crazy?”

Eddie puts both hands on your stomach and rubs it, kneeling down to be eye level with it.

“Hey there,” he says, eyes focused on your belly, “I don’t know if you can hear me but I’m your dad and I think it’s really cool that you have such strong legs. Maybe you’ll be a drummer like your Uncle Garreth. That would be super bad ass. Especially if you’re a girl. Girl drummers are awesome.” 

“What if they’re a boy?” You ask him. “Then you’ll be a kick ass boy drummer for all I care. I really want you to play guitar, though. Gonna teach you that as soon as you can hold your head up. Babe, should be make him a battle jacket?”

“If we make him one now he won’t fit in it for very long. We should probably wait until he’s older.”

“Damn, oh well.” Eddie sighs as he straightens up. His arms wrap around you and pull you in close, letting his chin rest on the top of your head.

“You have no fucking clue how excited I am.”

“I think I can take a guess.”

The room is quiet, dimly lit with the soft glow of the low lights and the monitor that sits next to your seat. Your feet wiggle back and forth, a nervous movement as you sit and wait for the ultrasound technician to enter the room. Eddie was sitting beside you, his own leg bouncing in anticipation.

Today you would find out the gender of your baby. The excitement was enough to keep the two of you up late into the night talking about what it will be like to have a baby boy or girl running around the house. All the baby proofing you would have to do was enough to make you feel like your house might actually be a deathtrap, even when Eddie assured you it wasn’t that bad.

A gentle knock on the door had both of your heads turning to it. “Come in,” you say, and the door opens moments later. The same technician from your last appointment walks in and you’re relieved to see a familiar face.

“Good morning,” she says as she closes the door behind her. “Are we ready to find out what you’re having?”

You and Eddie nod, a fresh batch of goosebumps rising on your skin. The technician moves around the room and does whatever she needs to do to get the monitor ready.

“Go ahead and lay back, and lift your shirt just over your belly,” she says as she pulls a bottle from the counter. As you lean back, she shakes it upside down a bit and squirts some on her finger, wiping it off on the paper towel sitting on the counter.

“Now, this may be  little cold at first, but it will warm up as I move the wand, okay?”

“Okay,” you say, a nervous smile on your face. 

“It doesn’t hurt, does it?” Eddie asks, grabbing your hand.

“No, not at all. I’m just going to put a little of this jelly on her stomach and press this wand to it so we can see the baby. You ready?”

You nod and the cold jell hits your stomach with a sound from the bottle.

“Now here comes the wand…” She places the ultrasound wand on your stomach with a light pressure. The screen of the ultrasound machine starts to blur as she moves the jelly around on your stomach. Once she slows down, you’re able to get a more clear picture of the baby growing inside your belly. 

It looked weird. Like a baby, but not at the same time. But when you saw it’s little arms moving it made a lump form in your throat.

“Awe, they’re waving at you,” the technician says, holding the wand still.

“Where?” Eddie asks, a clear look of confusion on his face. “I can’t read any of this.”

“See this right here, that’s the head,” the technician points to the large orb on the screen. “This is it’s spine, and this is it’s legs. Right here are it’s little arms.”

“Woah,” Eddie says with a smile as wide as Texas. “Hi little guy.”

“You’re such a dork.”

“What, I want to be polite!”

“Everything is looking good and they seem to be measuring on time, but I can’t say for certain until the doctor checks everything out. I’m going to take a few pictures and then we can check the gender, okay?”

You nod and let her do her thing. She moves the wand and pushes a few buttons on the keyboard, over and over, until she finally moves the wand to where it looks like the baby’s butt would be. A hot wave crashes over you as you realize that this is it.

“Okay, baby is not cross legged so I can see perfectly. Are you ready to know?”

Eddie turns to look at you for your approval. He nods, and you take a deep breath.

“Yes, we’re ready.”

“How was the appointment?” Wayne says as the two of you walk in the door, Bear relaxing over his feet.

“It went really well. We got some new pictures to show you.” Eddie walks over to Wayne and hands him the small print out of pictures the technician gave you to bring home. Wayne grabs his glasses and puts them on, still holding the small prints close to his face.

“Wow, this really looks like a baby now, huh?” He says, looking over to you. Your hand rubs your bump, now starting to show a bit. You’re happy it didn’t come in until after your school year ended, lest the students ask you a million questions.

“What else do you see?” Eddie asks the older man. Wayne looks over the pictures again, eyeing them up and down.

“What’s this last picture?”

“That is your grandson’s little Munson.”

Wayne looks up at Eddie, then over to you. As it all starts to make sense to him, he suddenly jumps up from his chair and jumps around.

“‘T’s a lil boy?! Hot dog, I got myself a new fishin’ buddy?!” His arms wrap around Eddie in a surprise hug as he jumps up and down more, rocking Eddie in the process.

“We had a feeling that you’d say that, so we went and got this.” You pull a bag from behind your back and present it to him, a very obvious smaller version of a fishing pole sticking out of it. It was made for kids, but you’re sure it would work when the baby is big enough. 

“I can’t believe this,” Wayne says wiping tears from his eyes. “I would have been this happy if it was a girl, too. But it just feels so--”

“Real?” Eddie says.

“Yeah. I just can’t--I mean, damn it’s really happening.”

“Eddie started crying when she told us,” you say as you lean into him.

“How could I not? I’m gonna have a mini me running around the house!”

“Don’t I know it. I’m putting all this work in for 9 months and I know he’s going to come out looking exactly like you.”

“Hopefully he’s more tame than Eddie was,” Wayne adds, shaking his head. “Eddie used’aa bounce off the walls when he was a toddler.”

“Oh, great, can’t wait for that,” you say with a smile. You truly didn’t care what the baby was going to be like. You hoped he was just like Eddie, in every way.

“Ugh, it’s so hot,” you say as you fan yourself. Even with the shade of your front porch you were still sweating in the unrelenting July heat. It was the hottest summer Hawkins had felt in a while and of course you just had to be almost 30 weeks pregnant right now.

“We can go inside,” Eddie says from the chair next to you, flipping through a mechanics magazine.

“No, the fresh air will be good for the baby.”

“Not if you’re frying in the process. Come on, we can wait for them inside.”

As if right on que, the familiar red beater truck pulled up behind yours in the driveway. 

“Hey, the party is here!” Grant shouted from the driver side window.

“Lets get this shit built!” Garreth yells as he pops out of the passenger side, Jeff following after him.

“Are you just gonna stand there or are you gonna help?” Jeff says as Garreth and Grant start to unload the back of the truck of the boxes that were in the bed.

“I was expecting you all to do the heavy lifting. We are pregnant afterall.” Eddie says as he places his lemonade down, standing up from the chair. Jeff pshes him, slapping a hand on his back before the two of them start moving boxes inside.

The boys had all agreed to help put together furniture as long as they could drink and listen to rock music the whole time, neither of which you minded but you appreciated them asking. You’d been craving some wine during your pregnancy but had been good enough to not indulge yourself, especially after you’d done so well with your sobriety.

“You boys needa hand?” Wayne asks from the front door.

“Naw, we got it pepaw,” Garreth calls, holding the other and of a large box that him and Jeff are carefully maneuvering between the cars in the driveway. You held the door open for them as they entered into the house, stopping to kick their shoes off per your house rule of no shoes in the baby’s room.

Once the boys got everything inside, they immediately plugged in the stereo system and began to fill your house with Pearl Jam’s “Ten” album. Eddie Vedder’s vocals made good background noise as you cleaned up the house. Well to the best of your ability.

Your bump had grown big enough that it was starting to become more difficult to do certain things, like bending over and squatting. But you could still handle most of the chores with out much of Eddie’s help. It was working with chemical cleaners that worried you the most, so you looked into some more natural cleaning remedies and hoped that they were doing what they were supposed to do.

“Anyone ready for lunch? I’ll order some pizzas if you want--Wow, look at you guys go!”

The room was already starting to come together as the furniture was being built. It looked like Eddie and Jeff had the crib almost put together as Grant and Garreth tackled the dresser. You thought this was going to be an all day endeavor but they may get it all done in a few hours.

“You guys are some pretty good handymen!”

“Thanks, babe,” Eddie says as he holds a couple pieces together for Jeff to screw in. “Once we get these big pieces put together we’ll work on getting the shelves up. 

“Were you saying something about pizza?” Garreth asks with nails between his lips.

“Yeah, I’ll go ahead and order some. Any special requests?”

“Can you get some cheesy bread, too?” Grant asks.

“Absolutely. Well, I’ll leave you boys to it.”

“Love you, babe!”

You say a quick love you back before waddling down the hall to the kitchen.

After a quick pizza break and some trash TV with Wayne, the boys all erupted into hoots and hollers from the baby’s room.

“What’s all the commotion?” You ask walking into the room.

“I think we’re done!”

You look around the room and really take it in. It looks pretty much complete, sans some decorations and the things you plan to get from your baby shower. It hits you that you’re going to have a baby in this room with you in just a few short months.

“Awe, babe, don’t cry.” Eddie walks up to you and wraps his arms around you, swaying you back and forth.

“It just looks so nice. Thank you guys so much,” you say through sniffles.

“Of course, momma,” Jeff says, patting your shoulder.

“Anything for the newest member of Hellfire,” Grant adds.

“And the future frontman of Corroded Coffin 2.0,” Garreth says.

Eddie backs away from you and you take the opportunity to wipe away the tears from your eyes. It was so nice knowing that your baby was already so loved.

“Oh, yes! Just like that!” You moan out into your bedroom, your cries bouncing off of the walls and straight into Eddie’s ears.

He has you just how he likes you; on your back and with your legs spread wide for him. Either of your legs in his grasp to hold up so you don’t have to. Your pretty little head is resting on the pillow while he does all the work of making you squirm under him. Your hands hold your large stomach as his hips crash into yours with each thrust. 

He’s doing his damndest not to be rough, but he can’t help that you look so pretty when he fucks you hard. The way you talk so dirty when no one’s around gets him going in a way he can’t even describe other than feral. Each call of his name by you sounds like music to his ears that he wants to play on repeat.

“Fuck, baby, look so good like that,” Eddie groans, watching your swollen tits bounce. “My beautiful girl, all big and round for me.”

“Yes, just for you, Eddie,” you say, your hands flying to the pillow to grip it as he picks up his pace. Eddie takes your leg and rests it on his shoulder, guiding his free hand to your stomach to hold it in place while he fucks you into the mattress. Something about you being pregnant with his child was turning him on to no end. Just the thought of his baby being inside of you drove him crazy.

“Oh, shit I’m gonna--”

“Do it, baby. Cum for me.” Eddie brought his thumb to your sensitive clit and started rubbing sloppy circles in it. Everything with you was so much more sensitive since you’d gotten pregnant, and Eddie loved to take advantage of that whenever he could.

Eddie felt it in your body as you came, the way you clenched around him, legs shaking, eyes rolling into the back of your head. He wanted to take a picture to keep forever. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Eddie says suddenly, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he reached his peak. You watch as he comes undone inside of you, filling you up with his spend. 

“Oh my god,” Eddie stutters out, head thrown back as he recovers from his orgasm. “That was insane.”

“Come’er,” you reach your hands out for him. He obliges, sliding out of you slowly and plopping down next to you in the bed. He wraps you up in his arms and holds you close, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Are you okay?” He asks, hand landing on your stomach.

“Mhmm,” you hum, catching your breath.

“I still can’t believe it. That we’re going to be parents.”

You place your hand on top of Eddie’s and rub your thumb into the back of it. It’s quiet for a moment, but then the two of you feel the baby moving inside of you and laugh.

“Guess he didn’t like all that movement,” you say, watching the way your stomach is pressed from the baby inside you.

“Sorry, bub,” Eddie says with a laugh, “Can’t help that your mom is hot.”

“Hey, thank you for coming!” You wrap your arms around Claudia and Dustin as they exit your house from the back door. 

Today is the day of your baby shower and the backyard was already full of guests as they all pile in. Eddie was manning the grill, your brother and his wife talking him up as he cooked the dogs and burgers for everyone. Elanor and your nephews are running around with Bear while Nancy and Robin catch up. Steve and Mike were talking about cars the last you checked in on them. Max, Jane, Lucas and Will are helping set up some last minute decorations. And the band boys were chatting while they set the fire pit up for s’mores later.

“Thank you for inviting us. Here, I made these myself for the little one. There’s something in there for you, too.”

“Awe, thank you, Claudia. That’s so sweet.” 

“I’ll take that,” Wayne says as he takes the bag from Mrs. Henderson. 

“I helped pick out the colors, by the way,” Dustin says before he leaves to go join the boys at the fire pit.

“How are you feeling, dear?” Claudia asks.

“I feel surprisingly great. Other than my feet swelling in this heat, I don’t think I can complain. Well, besides the nightly gymnastics routine this one seems to want to do whenever I go to bed.”

Claudia laughs, “Yes, Dustin was the same way. It’s like they know when you’re trying to rest.”

“It really does!”

“Mrs. Henderson!” Steve calls out to her and Claudia excuses herself.

Wayne makes his way over to you. “Got an awfully full table of gifts over there,” he says.

“I know, I’m in shock. I knew people would get us stuff, but I didn’t think it would be so much. Hopefully we have room for everything.”

“We’ll make it fit, I promise ya that,” Wayne says with a chuckle. 

He looks at you for a moment before leaning in. 

“Can I tell ya a secret?”

You whip your head around, shocked to hear that Wayne wants to gossip with you.

“Uh, duh. Lay it on me.”

“Okay,” he starts, “See that girl your brother brought with him. I think you said that’s his wife’s sister?”

“Oh, Tenisha? Yeah she was one of my best friends growing up. She’s just really shy.”

“I can see that by the way she’s been keeping to herself. But, I’ve been watching everyone here, right? Well I think she’s been boring a hole into Harrington since he walked in the door.”

This revelation sparks your interest. Tenisha had a hard time branching out due to her introverted nature, so she didn’t have many boyfriends growing up. For a while you thought maybe she didn’t even like other people all that much.

But, this news was something you could work with.

“Good to know,” you say with coy smile, brain wracking with ways to introduce them.

The rest of the party showed up as time went on. Chrissy and Jason came with their kids, and you got to hold baby Jeremy while she talked your ear off. She even brought you a whole trunk load of old clothes from her boys that you’d be able to use for your baby.

Missy even showed up with her baby, little Henry junior. He looked a lot like Henry, so much that it was almost off putting to you, but you reminded yourself that this party was the celebrate your own baby with the man who loves you now.

“This is a really nice house,” Erica says to Eddie as you help pass out food and refreshments. 

“Thanks, man. We’ve really put our all in making it our home these last few months.”

“I’m willing to bet that the missus did most of the decorating,” Jason chimes in.

“Obviously,” you say with a sarcastic tone. “I think the place would be covered with band posters and guitars if Eddie was in charge.”

“Hey, a few decorative guitars wouldn’t be a bad thing,” Grants says in Eddie’s defence.

“Thank you, Grant.”

“It’s going to feel even more like a home once the baby comes,” your brother says. “Don’t you think, Nish?”

Tenisha looks up from her plate like a deer caught in headlights. You want to scold your brother for calling her out, but you know he’s doing it because you told him about her eyes for Steve.

“Y-yes,” she says, voice small, and you’re proud that she was even able to get that much out. She stands still for a moment before suddenly beelining it for you.

“Where’s your bathroom?” She whispers to you. Just as you look toward the house, you notice Steve is heading in that same direction.

“Hey, Steve!”

He stops and looks around to where he heard his name being called, landing on you.

“Can you show Tenisha where the bathroom is?”

Tenisha’s eyes go wide, but you ignore it when Steve agrees and beckons her over. You watch as she wordlessly makes her way over to him.

“Hi, I’m Steve. I don’t think we’ve met,” he says as he follows behind her into the house.

You look around for Wayne to see if he saw your quick move and you found him already looking your way, giving you a thumbs up.

The rest of the party went off without a hitch. Games were played, all the gifts were opened, and you even got to have some cake that Eddie had custom made for the occasion. And, much to your delight, Steve essentially stuck by Tenisha’s side the rest of the night, talking to her about god knows what. She seemed not to mind though, a smile on her face the whole time.

You felt like you were about to burst. People had been chatting you up for over an hour at this point and you were starting to have to go every 30 minutes or so it seemed. When you finally had the chance to excuse yourself, you all but sprinted to the rest room.

Once you relieved yourself, you went to wipe, but thought you felt a strange texture when you did. You decided to check the toilet paper, only to be met with the sight of bright red blood.

Your heart sank at the sight. Getting up you checked your underwear and found nothing there, so it hadn’t been bad enough to spread. But still, you were only 36 weeks at this point, still a whole month out from when the baby was supposed to come. This shouldn’t be happening.

“Eddie,” you say out of instinct. “Eddie!”

You run out to the backyard and find your husband talking with his uncle by the fire. He looks over at you and waves, unable to see you clearly from where you were at the back door.

“Eddie!” The urgency in your voice caught his attention and he immediately popped up from his chair and came trotting to you.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

“Eddie, I’m bleeding.”

“W-what? That’s not supposed to happen now is it?” 

You shook your head and Eddie immediately started to panic.

“Uncle Wayne!”

Wayne jumped up from his chair and ran over to where you two were standing.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“She’s bleeding.”

“Bleedin’! Well that doesn’t sound right. You oughta go to the emergency room. Now. I’ll get everyone going.”

You both nod and Eddie takes you by the hand, grabbing his keys off the counter as you enter the house. He barely lets you grab your purse before he’s pulling you into the car and peeling out of the driveway.

Once you get to the hospital, they take you back right away and get you hooked up to a monitor to listen to your baby’s heart beat. There was a sigh of relief when it was strong enough that it could be easily found by the nurse helping you. They ran some tests on you and did a quick check to see if you were dilated at all.

“Nothing yet,” the doctor says. “Not abnormal for you to not be dilated at this point. Have you had any contractions?”

“No, not yet. Should I be?” You ask with concern.

“Not necessarily. Sometimes women experience what feel like contractions at this point, but you’ll know the real thing when the time comes.”

“Why would she be bleeding right now if the baby wasn’t coming?” Eddie asks, hand clasped with yours.

“Well,” the doctor starts, “There are several possibilities, but it’s hard to say for sure. We’ll probably keep you here for monitoring for a few days just to make sure we don’t need to start the delivery process early.”

“Start it early? Will that hurt the baby?” You ask.

“Not at this point. We consider the baby developed enough at this point that delivery is a safe enough option for you. We would just give you a shot of steroids before hand to help with the development of the baby’s lungs before hand. But, for now, we think that you should get some rest.”

The doctor leaves the room and you and Eddie are left there to listen to the sound of your baby’s heart beating. Eddie’s grasp on your hand tightens, and for a moment you think that he might have started crying. You look up at him and are surprised to find that he’s actually laughing.

“Why are you laughing right now?”

“Because,” he raises his head to look at you, “Only my kid would try and pull something like this the day of his party. I always used to ruin my birthday parties because I would get so excited to get gifts.”

That did make you laugh. Which apparently made your son mad because you felt him kicking you, leaving you to sigh in relief. At least he wasn’t in any immediate danger. Though, you were not looking forward to staying in the hospital for a couple days.

“Do you think I’ll be out in time for Monday?”

Eddie looks at you in disbelief. “I don’t think your students are going to mind a substitute for a couple days while you’re in here.”

“I know, I just don’t want to leave them with a bunch of work to do. I’ve been slacking a bit these last couple weeks.”

“I’ll grade the damn papers myself if it means you’ll relax for a couple days,”

“Oh, god, we wouldn’t want that,” you laugh.

You got to go home on Tuesday. It felt cooler out compared to Saturday, so Eddie brought you a sweater to the hospital to keep you warm. The fabric was tight over your large stomach as you walked out into the late September air.

The bleeding eventually stopped on its own and the doctors decided it would be best to let you go home and finish out the rest of your pregnancy. Which you were relieved to hear because that bed was super uncomfortable.

“I just want to go home and take a nice long shower,” you say from the passenger seat. “Then maybe a good nap.”

“Whatever you need, princess. I know that was rough on you,” Eddie says with a hand in yours as he drives.

“It was rough on you, too. I know you were mad they wouldn’t let you stay.”

“They better let me stay when the baby is born. I’ll stand outside the hospital all night if they don’t.”

“They will, Eddie. We already asked, remember?”

“I know. But what if they find out I’m a felon and change their minds?” You can hear the concern in his voice.

“Eddie, they don’t care. Just don’t do anything stupid and there won’t be a problem.”

Eddie scoffs, “You think I would do something stupid?”

“Of course not,” you laugh, “I’m just saying is all.”

Eddie turns into the drive way and cuts the engine. He hops out from the driver side and runs around the car to open your door for you, lending you a hand to help you out of the car.

The two of you enter the house and you immediately head to your baby’s room. It’s filled to the brim with all the gifts you received still needing to be put away from your shower. The need to nest kicks in and you enter the room.

“Woah, what are you doing?” Eddie says, watching you as you start to fold some of the baby clothes.

“It’s a mess in here,” you say, placing a blue nighty into the dresser drawer. “We need to clean up.”

“We can do that later.” Eddie wraps his arms around you from behind and you let out a whine.

“But what if the baby comes tomorrow? He’s going to think we’re slobs!”

Eddie turns you around to face him, holding you with a hand on each arm.

“Later, sweetheart. Let’s get you in the shower and down for a nap first.”

You let out a sigh but ultimately give in.

“Aren’t you due today?” Will suddenly says between bites of his salad. The two of you had a shared lunch and had been spending it together since the beginning of the school year.

“Technically I was due Tuesday,” you say after a long chug of water, “But he doesn’t seem to be ready to come out yet.”

“Have you been feeling anything yet? Like the labor pains?” He asks.

“I’ve had a few contractions but nothing too major. The doctor said it’s normal for babies not to come on their due dates, but I’m ready for him to be out of me now.”

You rub your huge bump. It didn’t seem possible that you were this pregnant. You hadn’t seen your feet properly in weeks, but you certainly can feel them aching. The back pain was out of this world, and all you wanted to do was sit down. But at this paint sitting didn’t seem to be much relief either.

“I’m sure you are. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like.”

“It feels like I’m carrying a 30 pound boulder in my stomach is what it feels like,” you laugh. 

But the laugh is cut short by a sharp pain in your lower stomach. Another contraction was hitting you today and this one took your breath away. You hiss, bending slightly as you try your best to work through it. But this one was lasting a lot longer than the others.

Will jumps up from his seat. “Are you okay?” He asks as he hovers over you, hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah, just,” you blow out air from your mouth, “This one just really hurts.”

“Shit, is it time?”

“I…I don’t know.”

You couldn’t say no for sure with how this one was feeling. Was it time?

“Do you want me to call Eddie?” Will says before walking over to the phone.

“No, no it’s starting to stop now,” you say, leaning back in your chair. “I’ll keep an eye on the time and if it gets worse then I’ll call him.”

“Maybe you should go home, just in case,” Will says with concern.

“I think I’ll be okay.”

But you were not okay. After the third contraction, you decided to call Principal Higgins and let him know what was going on. He told you he would take over your class and that you should go home for the day.

“Hawkin’s Auto Body, this is Sarah speaking.”

“Hi Sarah, is Eddie available?”

“Oh, hey! Yeah, let me go get him!” The receptionist put you on hold and you felt another contraction hit. They were starting to become close together, around 8 minutes apart.

“Babe?” You hear from the other side of the line.

“Eddie, I think it’s time,” you say through gritted teeth.

“What? Really? Where are you?” His tone is frantic and you hear some crashing noises.

“I’m at work. I’m having contractions.” You whine as the feeling grows stronger in your pelvis.

“Oh my god, okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can. We’ll take your car, okay?”

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

After you hung up with Eddie, you braced the cold October air and made your way to your car. You turned it on and sat in the passenger seat while you waited.

Looking in the rear view mirror, you can see the car seat installed in the back seat for this exact occasion. Eddie was smart to put it back there in case the baby came earlier. Ever since your hospital trip, he’d been on top of everything when it came to the baby’s arrival. He helped you decorate, took you shopping for any last minute items you needed, and even prepared a hospital bag for you that sat in your trunk.

It didn’t take long for Eddie you whip into the school parking lot. He found your car and made quick effort to find the nearest spot to park. After he killed the engine, he booked it to your car and hopped in the driver seat.

“Are you okay?” Was the first thing he asked before buckling his seatbelt.

“At the moment, yeah. But the contractions are getting closer and closer together as time goes by. I’m due for another any minute.”

“Well, lets’s get going then, momma,” he says, shifting into gear and pulling away.

Eddie got you to the hospital in record time. They wheeled you in, mid contraction as they took you immediately to a laboring room. Everything was a blur as they got you in a gown and prepped you to be checked. When the doctor came in, the first thing he did was check to see how dilated you were.

“You’re already at 4 centimeters,” he said as he pulled his hand away. “I’m surprised you hadn’t come in sooner.”

“She was being stubborn,” Eddie said. He was upset that you had gone on having contractions for so long without calling him sooner.

“I was at work. I didn’t know it was going to get this bad--ooooh!” Another contraction.

“Well good news is that once you get to 5 centimeters things tend to go faster, so you shouldn’t be in labor for too much longer. Did you want to get an epidural?”

“God, anything to help with these pains,” you moan as the contraction wracks through your body. It felt like all your muscles from the waist down were tightening all at once. You were starting to sweat from the pain.

“That looks like fun,” Eddie says as he sips from his little cup of water.

You were bouncing on the exercise ball that the hospital provided for you to try and speed up the labor. The epidural kicked in and though your legs felt funny, the pain had subsided greatly. You still felt the contractions but they weren’t nearly as debilitating as they had been all day.

“It feels like a work out, but I think it’s helping.”

“I’m so excited,” Eddie says before walking over to you, both his hands out for you to take. You place your hands in his and do your best to stand, stepping closer to him until your belly touched his. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips.

“I am, too. Insanely nervous, but excited.”

Suddenly you felt a sharp pain between your legs. The sound of water hitting the floor took you by surprise. You felt like you needed to sit down so you reached back for the bed and sat on the edge. 

“Shit, babe, I think your water broke!” Eddie ran to the door and yelled out for a nurse to come to your room. 

Shit, was this really happening?

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. The nurses and doctor entered the room and it was clear that it was go time. They got you in position on the bed and you could feel something happening between your legs. 

“I see the head!” One of the nurses shouted. 

“Push, momma push!”

“Oh my god.”

Eddie was shaking beside you. You could feel the trembling in his hand as he held yours. But you didn’t have time to focus on him as you put all your effort into pushing. 

You squeezed his hand tight as you did your best to push, feeling the pressure building as you do. 

“Yes, keep going! He’s starting to come out!”

“You got this, sweetheart,” you hear Eddie say shakily. 

“One more good push!”

You put all your strength into pushing. It was the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your life. There was so much pressure building up and then—

The sound of cries. 

You opened your eyes and he was there. The nurses held him as the little baby covered in goo and fluids…was crying. 

“It’s a healthy baby boy!”

“Hellooo!” 

The sound of Wayne’s voice echoed in the room. He took a step in and Eddie waved him inside. 

“Come on in, Grandpa,” Eddie says from his seat next to you. Wayne mozies into the room, a vase full of flowers in hand. 

“I brought these for the lovely new momma,” he says, setting them down on your bedside table. 

“Thank you, Uncle Wayne,” you say, admiring the flowers. 

“Is that my little man over there?” He asks, moving closer to the bed.

You take the bundle in your arms and turn him to face Wayne. “Oh my god,” Wayne’s hand comes to his mouth as he cracks the widest smile.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask, lifting your son a bit towards him.

“Can I?” Wayne asks, stretching his arms out. You make the slow exchange and Wayne just absolutely lights up. “Wow, I can’t believe it.”

“I know, it’s crazy isn’t it?” Eddie says, standing up to walk over to them.

“I’m sorry ta break it to ya, sweet girl, but this boy is all his daddy,” Wayne says with a chuckle.

“Wait until you see his hair,” Eddie says, gently pulling the little cap off of his sons head to reveal small poodle like curls underneath.

“Oh boy, we’re really gonna be in for it with you, ain’t we?” Wayne asks your son. “Your daddy’s gonna get all the karma from how he was as a kid.”

“All I know is he’s going to get away with murder when it comes to her.” Eddie says nodding to you.

“Is that so? That in love already, huh?”

You nod your head. It was true. As soon as the nurses laid him against your chest you felt that immediately wave of love come over you for your little one. He might as well have hung the moon and stars because he was perfect in your eyes. You weren’t even mad he looked exactly like Eddie. Quite the opposite. Your head swirled with all the trouble that the two of them were going to get to. And they would get away with it by batting their big brown eyes at you.

“Did ya come up with a name for him yet?”

This question made you look to Eddie. You’d been telling everyone that you weren’t sure what name you were going to come up with, but the truth was that you had a name for the baby all along.

“As a matter of fact, we did,” Eddie says walking over to the bed side bassinet. He pushed it over to Wayne, turning it so that the name card was visible to him.

Wayne stepped closer, leaning in to see the name without his glasses.

“Wayne…Wayne Lee Munson. Well…that,” Wayne’s body shook with a sob, “that’s my name.”

“And we thought it would be the perfect name for the next Munson.”

“Ed…” Wayne started to cry. He held your son close and wept. “Little Wayne Munson. Has a nice ring to it.”

“Well look at that little man there. He looks jus like you, don’t he?” Al Munson’s voice rang through the other side of the phone’s receiver. It wasn’t how you wanted to meet your future father in law, but you knew this visit meant a lot to Eddie so you went along with it. 

He told you his dad wasn’t a violent man, but he sure looked like it. Eddie looked so much like him, down to the way they both hunched over a bit when they sit. It was almost scary to think about what Eddie could have become if he hadn’t gotten out of prison when he did.

“I’m glad you guys came out,” Al says, “Was worried I wouldn’t get to see ‘em til he’s ten.”

“We’re glad to be able to make it. I’m sure you’re excited to meet him.”

“And the misses, too. Eddie’s told me a lot about you in his letters.”

“Hopefully all good things,” you say into the receiver that’s between yours and Eddie’s head. Al laughs, and it sounds like a raspier version of Eddie’s.

“Oh, yeah. You’re gonna make a great Munson. Wish I could be there to see it.”

“I wish you could, too, dad.”

“We’ll make sure you get lots of pictures.”

“I’ll be lookin’ forward to it,” Al says, leaning into the glass. “Lemme get a better look at’em.”

Eddie moved the phone to his ear as you reposition, standing slightly so you can show off your baby. You watch as his lips move but can’t hear what he’s saying.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone says. I feel bad for her because you know how I was as a kid…Yep, Wayne said the same thing.”

Al’s hand touches the glass near where you’re son is. It makes you feel for him. A man stuck in a cage, just outside of reach of what he wants.

“Okay, old on,” Eddie says holding the phone out to you. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Oh, really? Okay.” You swap with Eddie, handing Wayne to him and taking the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey there, darlin’,” Wayne says. “Just wanted to ask you a few questions.”

You felt your stomach turn. Was he going to grill you on if you were good enough for his son?

“Now, I won’t say anything, and you can give me simple answers if you want. But I want you to answer truthfully.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, is my boy treating you right? He’s not been hittin’ on you or anything?”

The line of questioning took you by total surprise.

“Oh my god, no,” you say shaking your head. “Eddie is the sweetest man I’ve ever met in my life.”

Al smiles the same as Eddie.

“That’s what I wanted to hear. Now, he’s been pullin’ his weight around the house, too, right?”

“Absolutely,” you assure him.

“Good, good. Been helpin’ with the little one?”

“Yes, more than I ever could have asked for.”

Eddie was made for fatherhood. Even at his most tired, he still does whatever he can with Wayne. Changes him, helps bathe him, cleans up so you can feed him. He cooks and cleans. Any little thing you ask he does without a single complaint.

“Wonderful. Eddie’s a tough one, so but I’m glad to see he has a soft side to ‘em. If he ever gets outta line, you just go ahead and give me a call, got it? I got some people on the outside who will set him straight for ya.”

“I don’t think I’ll need to, but I’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckle. 

“Alright, darlin’, go ahead and give me back to Ed.”

You hand the phone back over to Eddie and do another swap with Wayne.

“What the hell did you ask her, old man?”

Al laughs on the other side of the glass. You let the two of them talk it out for the rest of the visit. You weren’t sure the next time you three would be able to make it out to see him, so you made sure to say your goodbyes before leaving.

The house is warm and filled with the smell of food cooking from the kitchen. As you do your best to prep, Eddie is sitting snugly on the couch holding baby Wayne in his arms. They’re watching A Charlie Brown Christmas on the tv; well, Eddie is narrating everything for Wayne. But Wayne seems to love listening to Eddie talk, starting up at him with those big brown eyes that you love so much.

“Don’t look now, but I think we’re being watched,” Eddie says to Wayne, pointing at you.

“I can’t help it, you guys are just so cute.”

You’re about to check on the food again when you hear a knock at the door.

“Come in!” Eddie shouts from the couch.

The door opens and begins to fill with familiar faces. Dustin and Lucas enter first, bickering about god knows what, followed by Mike, Jane, Max and Will who look fed up at the former two. 

“Hey guys!” You say as you approach, offering to take coats as they come in. Eddie stands up from the couch and walks over to Dustin and Lucas.

“Whatever you guys are going on about can end now,” Eddie says as he hands the baby to Lucas, “and you can hold this one while I go take a piss.”

“I’ll take that, thank you,” Max says as she slips between Dustin and Lucas, taking your son in her arms and walking away. “Awe aren’t you just the cutest!”

“Hey, he was handing him to me,” Lucas says with a scoff.

“You’ll have your turn later, Auntie Max needs her baby time now.”

Lucas pauses for a moment before leaning into Dustin.

“She looks pretty cute with a baby, doesn’t she?” 

Dustin elbows Lucas, “Make your own then, sheesh.”

“Can I see him?” Jane says as she walks up to Max, who shows him off to her.

“He seriously is so cute.” Max says, lightly bouncing Wayne in her arms.

“Thanks, I think so, too,” you chuckle.

Another knock at the door takes your attention away from the girls for a moment. You shout for them to come in and the door opens to reveal Steve and Robin with two handfuls of gifts.

“Oh my god, let me take those,” you say rushing over to them. “What is all this stuff?”

“It’s for the baby, duh,” Robin says, handing you some of the stuff from her hands.

“All of this is for Wayne?”

“Not all of it,” Steve says, making his way to your tree to set his gifts down. “There’s more in the car.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” you say, shaking your head.

“Woah, Santa came early,” Eddie says as he rounds the corner. He walks over to Robin to take the rest of the gifts and joins Steve by the tree.

“We said we were going to spoil him,” Robin says with a shrug.

Suddenly something small runs into the house, past you and onto Mike’s leg.

“Woah!” 

“Uncwel Mikey!” Elanor squeals.

“Is this where the party is?” Jonathan says as he enters the house, followed by Nancy and baby Amelia.

“It smells so good in here,” Nancy says as she gives you a side hug.

“Thank you! You guys didn’t have to bring anything,” you say, eyeing the tin of cookies that Jonathan was holding.

“It was nothing. I was in a baking mood, so those aren’t the actual cookies that are in there.”

“Well come on in and set them in the kitchen. I need to check on everything anyway.” 

Nancy and the baby follow you inside to the kitchen, Jonathan hot on her heels. “I’ll be back for you,” she says when she passes Max holding baby Wayne.

As you enter the kitchen, the timer for the turkey goes off. You grab your oven mitts and pull it out of the oven, prepping the thermometer to check that it’s cooked all the way.

“Wow, you made a whole turkey?” Nancy says impressed.

“I wanted there to be enough for everyone” you say, reading the temperature, “and it was cheaper than a ham. Got it on sale actually!”

“Looks good!” Jonathan says, setting the cookies on the table.

“Holy shit, Steve she made a turkey!” Robin yells from the kitchen doorway.

“I thought she didn’t know how to cook?!” Steve shouts from the living room.

“I’ve picked up a few things being a housewife, Steve!” You shout back at him.

“Hows motherhood treating you?” Nancy asks, moving to stand next to you.

“Honestly,” you start, “it’s been a crazy ride.” You pause for a moment, thinking about all the sleepless nights and endless feedings. But you think about your sweet baby and the man who has been helping you make it all possible and sigh. “But, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

“I know what you mean,” she says bouncing Amelia on her hip. “It’ll get harder when you have another, but it really is worth it.”

Another? You hadn’t really thought about having another baby just yet. You were still in the throws of first time motherhood that you barely had time to think about anything else. But, who knows, maybe you’ll have another. One day at a time.

You hear a commotion from the living room and assume the rest of the boys have arrived when you hear their collective voices.

“There’s my man,” you hear Jeff say.

“God, he looks just like you, Eddie,” Grant says, making you smile.

“Yeah, I apologize to her for it every day,” Eddie says with a laugh.

Nancy and Robin help you finish everything up in the kitchen while the rest of the party is entertained by your son in the living room. They all take their turns holding him until he ultimately started crying and needed his momma.

“Alright, dinner is ready, everyone,” you say from the doorway. Walking over to Steve, who was currently holding Wayne, you extend your hands to take the crying baby.

“Shh, it’s alright, mommy is here,” he says, gently bouncing Wayne in his arms.

“Damn, you’re a natural, Steve,” you say as you take Wayne from him.

“You think so,” he says standing up from the couch. “I’ve always wanted a big family.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” you say with a sly smile, “How are things going with Tenisha?”

“Great!” He says, clapping his hands together excitedly. “The long distance sucks, but Robin and I are going to drive out to see her for new years.”

“That sounds like it’ll be a good time!” You say and he nods. Wayne lets out another cry and you’re reminded that it’s time to feed him. “Go and get some food, I gotta feed the little one.”

You walk back into the bedroom and let Wayne nurse for a bit, calming him down instantly. A few minutes go by and you hear a knock on the door.

“I’m not decent,” you shout to the door.

“It’s just me,” you hear Eddie say as the door begins to open, him shuffling inside with a plate in his hand. “I brought you something to snack on while you’re in here.” It was more than just a snack. Eddie had made you a whole plate and brought it to you.

“Awe, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Actually, I did,” he says with a chuckle. “Or else there might not have been anything left for you by the time you were done.”

“So everyone likes the food?” You ask with a bit of hope in your voice. Eddie nods, and you sigh with relief. “Thank god.”

“It’s honestly really good,” Eddie says bringing a roll to your mouth. You take a bite and had to admit he was right.

“Eddie,” you say in a wobbly tone, feeling tears starting to well in your eyes.

“Yes, my love?” He says turning to look at you.

“Thank you so much,” you say with a sniffle.

“The roll was that good?” He asks with a laugh.

You shake your head, “No, no, I mean…Just thank you. For everything. I’ve never felt so complete in my whole life and it’s all thanks to you.”

Eddie goes to open his mouth to say something, but closes it. He suddenly sits up from the bed, walking over to his nightstand and opening the drawer. He pulls out a piece of paper and looks it over before holding it to his chest.

Walking back, he plops back on the bed and clears his throat. “Um, this is something I’ve been working on for a while,” he says fidgeting with the paper. You look at it, then back to him. It was covered in his sloppy hand writing and you were instantly brought back to all the letters you’ve shared between the two of you. The ones that brought you together.

“It was originally going to be my wedding vows to you, but it’s gotten so long that I don’t think anyone is going to want to sit and listen to me while I talk on and on. So I just…I guess I’m ready to share it with you now.”

“Okay,” you say barely above a whisper, extremely intrigued as to what he has to say.

“Alright, here it goes,” Eddie says clearing his throat again.

“To my future wife,

It’s always going to be hard to put into words exactly how you make me feel. I could write poetry, could write you a song, could buy a plane and fly the words across the sky. But none of that will ever be enough. So I’ll do what I do best and write you this letter.

Not a day has gone by since we met that I don’t think about you. Even when I was still locked up, the thought of you played on my mind a lot. To me, I felt an instant connection with you. It might not have been love at first, but I knew that you were going to mean something to me. With every passing letter that turned into phone calls, that turned into us meeting for the first time, I only realized that you were put into my life for a reason. And that reason has become clearer with every day that I get to spend waking up next to you and being blessed by a God I don’t believe in with the grace of your smile.

Now that I have you in my life, I don’t think I can ever imagine a life without you in it. I want to spend every possible moment with you that I can, even the bad ones. I can’t wait until the day we’re old and grey and sitting in our rocking chairs on the front porch while we watch the sun go down. Because then I’ll know that I have lived a full, one by your side.

Now that we’re going to be parents, which I still can’t believe, I want to make sure that I’m there for you no matter what. We probably won’t get married until after the baby is born, but I hope you know that we don’t have to do things the traditional way. I’ve never been normal, but I think you know that by now. So lets just do things how we want to from here on out.”

“This last part I wrote recently,” he says, pointing at the paper, avoiding looking at you.

“Wow, I really can’t believe we’ve earned the title of mom and dad already. Nothing could have prepared me for first time parenthood, but I’m glad I have you by my side to go through it. You’ve been nothing short of amazing as a mom and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I think Wayne has been the missing puzzle piece that we didn’t even know we needed in our lives. He rounds out our family in such a positive way that I sometimes feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s how too good to be true my life with you feels. I don’t know what the future holds, but no matter what happens, I know that you and I will be able to work it together as a team. 

I guess I should wrap this up and give it to you before Wayne goes to college. Just know I love you so much and I always will. Never forget that, my love.”

Eddie turned to look at you, not even surprised to see the mess you’d become. Tears streaked your cheeks and you were holding in a sob that kept trying to escape.

“E-Eddie…” you say, leaning into him, finally letting it out with a little cry. “That was so sweet. I don’t even know what to say.”

Eddie kisses the crown of your head before resting his cheek against it.

“You don’t have to say anything. I already know how you feel. You make sure I know it every day. This is just my own way of saying thank you.”

You held your baby tight in your arms, suddenly overwhelmed at the life you’d been given. The man next to you loved you and you loved him. You were going to get married and spend the rest of your days together. As a family.

thank you all so much for reading!

[macking-cheese]

Transformers: Earthspark brainworms rn

What if Bee got put under Mandroid's control? GAH ITS EATING ME UP THINKING ABOUT IT

inspired by asimp4bee's (I think I spelled that right) art I saw with the same theory, and the song Control by Halsey

This also includes Breakbee! Ig it's like a situationship but actually they're terrible at feelings and Bee is like “am I not enough for him” and when shit goes down later Breakdown is like “damn I gotta step up fr” (this is probably a terrible explanation and for that I am sorry)

Also this accidentally became an exploration of Jawbreaker and Bee's relationship (AS SIBLINGS!!! I just think that in a way they complement each other and I wanna explore it) (It's probably me just projecting my neurodiversity onto them tbh)

This is like really bee-centric, more than I originally intended for it to be. I wanted it to gauge the terrans’ reactions to losing their brother/mom#2 (this is an inside joke pls don't flame me for it), then it became me wanting that twink mentally obliterated (and studying the journey of healing through family support after the inevitable crash out)

So here's a little drabble? Of me fleshing out the introduction of my ideas a bit more so I have a basic outline of where to go with the fic I'm planning! This has some dark themes (TW: suicidal ideation, kidnapping, torture, violence, harming of children, crazy how most of this is canon typical)

Basically this is set right after the kids break Bee and co out of the G.H.O.S.T cells, he tries one last time to get Breakdown to join them, and is rejected. So Bee goes home with the kids, and after a bit, making sure they're okay and under supervision of their family, he goes back alone to try and get Breakdown to join him again, the first place he looks being back at the facility, hoping he might still be there, but he knew he wouldn't, it was his dumb optimism saying there might have still been a chance.

Of course heading back there first was a bad idea. Probably the shittiest call he could make. He immediately gets recaptured and those G.H.O.S.T fuckers torture him and demonstrate their new mind control technology, trying to break the bot mentally and turn him into a weapon for their own personal/military use. When the big battle happens, he's sent out and,,,,

The terrans are so happy to see him, they missed their brother figure (jokingly their mom#2) and could really use his help and possibly Breakdown's, if he succeeded in his mission, in the fight. He told them he was going back to try and get more recruits, he'd be gone for no longer than a day, but if it takes longer, not to worry. It's been two weeks. (Or however it happened canonically, idk. I haven't actually watched the show in a month so this original setup probably doesn't make sense, really just writing to write here)

But when they get a closer look, he seems so worn down and tired and small. Trying to appear angry and bitter and intimidating, but it looked so fake and they didn't know why he wasn't easing up upon seeing the terrans again, until they see that cold, emotionless white in his optics.

They can't believe it. He’s not wearing a G.H.O.S.T badge. Maybe he's playing an ill-timed prank.

“That's not funny, Bee”

“We need your help”

“You're scaring me”

“Please stop”

“Bee?”

They notice the flicker of blue and the horrid screech-click of a failing vocalizer. The way his body trembles and his arm plating shakes with the effort to keep it from transforming into his stinger.

A last-ditch effort on his end, he turns on his radio with a slurry of static.

“C-an't help thi-sssssssss- should be sk- scared -f me-!”

The terrans are a mix of horrified and worried. They know they should move, run away, some catch up fast enough and do that, having to drag others. Jawbreaker just can't. That's his favorite person, his confidant, his older brother.

“Back-back-ba-ckhss… up!” It was the only semblance of himself that he seemed to have somewhat control of, and he clung to it. The terrans needed to know he didn't mean anything he was going to do.

Jawbreaker did move, a few disbelieving steps away, not fast enough to dodge the hand landing on his chest to move him away, too harshly for anyone's comfort.

Bumblebee was tearing himself up to try and fight for control. It hurt, it hurt so much, he almost wanted to sink into that awful bliss the chip in his back offered. But he couldn't, those were his mentees, his kids. He'd kill himself if he ever brought harm to them.

He wondered if the chip would stop him if he tried now. Maybe he could fry his circuits if he kept pushing against the breaching walls of code. Maybe he could shoot himself or something.

With that thought his arm finally transformed and the kids booked it. He couldn't stop himself from aiming at them and landed a few painful shots. He begged for forgiveness as he lost himself, giving up and letting the parasite fully enter him.

All this for Breakdown, and he didn't even know if it was worth it to have gone back in the first place.

-----

There's so much more I have running around in my head and my notes for this! You're welcome to share any thoughts, and please disregard if this was structured oddly. I'm jumping in my seat right now with excitement and my thoughts are a bit scattered trying to get this out.

[littlemissayu]

I like the idea of the rom-com series for Twst, any ideas for what kind of Rom-coms any of them would star in? What would the main couple's dynamic be? Would they fall into any clichés? I'm honestly enjoying the idea.

TWST Boys Rom-Com Troupes/Clichés

A/N: Hey love thanks for sending this in!! I'm glad you liked my last series, and while I did mention some of them I didn't go into a deep description for them all and they were quite general.

Pairings: Heartsabyul x reader(separately, romantic)

I 1000% believe that Riddle would end up in either academic rivals to lovers or work rivals to lovers. Either way in the beginning you two hate each other out of a competition aspect BUT you two aren't enemies to lovers bc you guys aren't going out of your way to spite each other(only mentioning bc ik some ppl can get mixed up). You two are just trying your hardest to be the best and then you guys have some sort of forced close proximity where you guys are most likely working on a project together and the two of you REFUSE to fail. As you two work together you happen to become closer and closer falling in love.

I whole heartly believe that he knows you from working at his parents bakery, like a coworker romance. You guys are finding the adorable in the mundane. You two fall for each with a series of having to be together pining over each other so much that it's painful for other people. Then Trey just asks you out by the end of the movie, but the journey is up to you<3

Now Cater has a friends to lovers romance with someone who not only also works in the social media business but is probably amazing at reading people so you are the one person who can break down his walls like a wrecking ball, but you don't til the movie's big climax when you two admit to being in love and then you live happily ever after once Cater admits to you(and himself) that he loves you.

idc what anyone tells me because you can't convince me that you and Ace don't have a rivals to best friends to lovers troupe. Like we've seen Ace and I know for a fact that at first he'd hate you then be the one person who can deal with his antics and then he just falls head over heels in love with you. Will he try to hide it like his life depends on it? yes. Will he miserably fail? Absolutely.

Teenage Romance, go ahead and try to convince me otherwise, but the two of you DO fall head over heels for each as teenagers and go on to continue to be the most tooth rotting heartaching couple anyone's ever seen. You beat him to the punch by asking him out first and from then on the two of you we're hopelessly in love with each other.

A/N: Lmao, I got this months ago(like most of my inbox requests) I've been so stumped when It comes to writing recently,so I'm going to wrap up certain things and if you guys really like it I'll make continuations. Besides since summer is here and I have a break from school I'll have more time!!!

Heartsabyul Masterlist

TWST Masterlist

Grand Masterlist

[aliceintheworld]

PURE ATTRACTION | JJK | TATTOO ARTIST

Pairing: TattooArtistJungkook X NaiveReader

Summary: " I shouldn’t be watching a man undressing, especially not from the house next door."

Warning: Fluff, kiss, impure thoughts, conversation about sex, masturbation, doubts and more doubts.

A/N: Here I am. As a thank you for all the wonderful comments, I will post two chapters today. (To be honest, I already have some stories in mind, but I want to finish Pure Attraction first, so I need to do it a little bit faster.) Keep interacting and voting. Don't forget: VOTE! It brings engagement and more motivation for the author!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 8

I wave to my mother inside the car, as she reverses in front of our house and leaves, driving down the street of our neighborhood. Eunji works at a medium-sized company and travels a lot for a few months of the year, when she needs to present a new project. It's not new to me. I am used to being alone for some days; what makes me think, however, is Jungkook. I look at my neighbors' house out of inertia, seeing him at the living room window, reading some book. He notices me, opens a mischievous little smile, and waves, winking. My cheeks burn with his attention, and before I can embarrassed myself, in any way, I close the door and quickly step inside.

I still can't believe what happened last night. It feels like an unreal dream. If I didn't have marks and hickeys on my neck and breasts, I would have accepted that it was all a figment of my imagination and that Jungkook and I didn't end up together. I feel scared because I don't regret it and want it to happen again. I don't know where I'm getting myself into, and each time we meet, I sink deeper and deeper into this situation. I feel apprehensive because what I feel for him, I've never felt for anyone else. His kiss when he said goodbye, his dark and big eyes on mine... Just remembering it makes me shiver.

I start to organize myself because I need to take a look at the thrift store. It's been a while since I last went there, and I don't know how is doing. My day goes by quickly, and I return a bit earlier than expected because the movement wasn't very good. I attended to three customers, and only two of them bought something. I climb the stairs at home, tired and hungry, my stomach growling because I didn't even have lunch. I throw myself on the bed and close my eyes, not caring about the heavy clothes I'm wearing. I could sleep even in a costume, that nothing would disturb my sleep. I take off my sneakers with my feet and sigh, relieved to be home.

A few minutes pass when I feel fingers on my thigh, lifting my denim skirt towards my intimacy. I jump up, startled, when I see Jungkook on his knees on my mattress, his face close to mine. He laughs, noticing my surprise, doesn't say a word, and simply kisses me, brushing his lips against mine. I savor his taste in my mouth, silently asking him to deepen the caress and use his tongue with mine; however he pulls away, gives me a peck and another, before standing up completely.

"I could call the police." I joke, brushing the short hair from his face. The haircut is not much different from the previous one, but it makes him look more handsome, if that's even possible.

"I do everything with consent." He mocks, lying down beside me.

"I didn't give you any consent to come into my room. How did you get in?"

"The open window was very inviting. I couldn't resist." He shrugs, smiling.

"Why did you come here?" I raise my head, focused on his rosy lip when he pouts.

"I came to get you." Jungkook says, stretching on the bed. He lifts my right leg, caressing my skin. "And that's not a request."

"I don't even know where you want to take me." I comment, swallowing hard. I laugh a little, feeling the tickles from the tips of his fingers. "And I'm tired. I worked at my mother's store and at the library. And today is Tuesday. I'm dead."

"Your mother went traveling, didn't she? Enjoy it while she's not home."

"How do you know she traveled?" I raise an eyebrow, curious.

"She told my mom some time ago." He shrugs, as if it's simple.

"She only told me last night." I growl, irritated. My mother always does this, telling me her plans always at the last minute.

"I thought you knew. That's why I came here. When the king is in the castle, one cannot court the Princess. Everyone knows that."

"In this case, I would be the Princess?" I laugh, finding it funny.

"Yes. You are definitely Rapunzel. Have you noticed that your life is literally living in a tower?"

"I'm touched."

"It's serious. Come with me." Jungkook asks, whispering, squeezing my thigh. I smile knowing that, the way he asks, I'll never be able to say no. I sigh and roll my eyes.

"You convinced me. Tell me where we're going."

"It's not a very surprising place." He speaks carelessly; suddenly, his cheeks turn red, and he pinches the lobe of his ear, embarrassed. That makes me even more curious. I wonder what he plans, and even though I'm tired, I nod and get up from the bed.

"Alright, you made me curious. But I'm hungry and need to eat something before we go." I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kiss his lips in a quick peck, tasting him. A voice in my head tells me I shouldn't act so affectionately because I'm not his girlfriend –or anything like that –but the way Jungkook responds quiets that voice and reassures me it's ok to touch him like this.

"I'll order something for you to eat." He smiles simply. Before I can argue, he crouches down, takes my foot, and pulls off my sneaker. I watch everything, worried and fascinated, relaxing my leg so he can finish the task.

I really like Jungkook. I've admitted that, and it's not very hard to notice. I did things with him because he makes me feel confident in my own skin, and that does me good. He is funny, talented, kind and sarcastic, and even though I don't know him well, the things I know about him make me admire him. The problem is he might still love his ex, and I don't know how far I can unleash my own feelings. I'm afraid of having too many expectations and ending up frustrated and disappointed. He treats me very well, but does that mean he reciprocates what I feel, or does it just mean he is a gentleman who knows how to take care of a woman?

"Done." He says, finishing the knot of my shoelace.

I smile at him gratefully and feel his hand holding mine as we walk down the stairs. I lose a bit of my smile, seeing our fingers intertwined, but I say nothing. I promise myself that I will enjoy the moment and keep my paranoia to myself, for now.

"Are you really not going to tell me where we're going?" I ask when we reach the sidewalk. He shakes his head and laughs before stepping away.

"No. You'll have to wait a little." He replies, opening the gate to his parents' garage. I stand still, waiting for his car when I'm surprised to see Jungkook on a motorcycle, with another helmet on his right arm. I open my mouth, totally impressed, looking from end to end at how huge the thing is. Now I understand why Mr. Jeon was worried, when he mentioned his son's mean of transportation, last night at dinner.

"Shall we?"

"I've never been on a motorcycle." I comment weakly, afraid of falling before I even get on the back.

"Everything has a first time." Jungkook bites his lower lip, watching me mischievously. My face heats up when I remember he said the same thing to me, when I sucked his dick in my room.

"Jungkook, how long have you been riding this thing? Did you pass your practical test on the first try?" I ask, sarcastically. He laughs, rolling his eyes.

"I promise you will come out alive from this." He guarantees with cynicism. He stands up, turns around, and goes behind me. "I'll tie your hair up, wait a bit."

I wait patiently while he holds my rebellious strands and ties them with some elastic. Jungkook takes the helmet from his arm and looks back at my face. He seems super focused and serious, furrowing his brows and making sure my head is indeed protected. He gives a little smile and sits on the motorcycle, waiting for my turn. I am a bit awkward, not quite sure where to support myself, but Jungkook doesn't mind and holds my leg so I can settle in securely. I wrap my arms around his waist, and with my heart racing, I wave between his shoulder and neck.

"We can go." I confirm, uncertain. Almost at the same moment, Jungkook revs the engine and takes off down the street at speed. I hold on tighter to him, tense. I hear his laugh and know he did this on purpose to tease me. I hit his arm, pouting, and sigh, feeling the nice end-of-day breeze.

It's scary, fascinating and a fantastic moment. With the motorcycle rolling, I can follow the sunset, which transforms the blue sky into orange and the usually polluted air, into something purer and cleaner. It's a feeling of freedom, enjoyable and terrifying, the same I have every time I'm with Jungkook. I hold on tighter, happy for the new experience I'm living.

It doesn't take long before the motorcycle stops in the city center. Things are quite busy, with people walking from one place to another and the stores bustling with customers. I can't remember the last time I came here, even though it's so close to my house. I get off awkwardly, and Jungkook follows right behind, taking off his helmet.

"It's here." He smiles happily, pointing behind me. When I turn around, there's a large sign saying "GOLDEN TATTOO" with Jungkook's name, on a seemingly new and well-lit wall. "I managed to finish the renovation today, and I wanted to bring you here to see the place. You'll be the first person to come."

"It's perfect!" I sight, impressed. I'm left speechless as he opens the bulletproof glass and enters the place, as if he were familiar with the environment. It's different from what I expected, with gray-painted walls, plants everywhere, and illustrated designs in large frames. It's a place I would feel comfortable in, even if I came alone. "Did you decorate it?"

"Yes. These last few days, I worked with a design team to organize everything the way I envisioned it. It took a lot of work, but I think it's finally all ready."

"It's very beautiful." I smile, touching one of the frames on the wall. It's a tattoo of an eye, apparently feminine and brown. It's so realistic that it feels like it's looking in my direction. I analyze the drawing so much that Jungkook laughs, lowering his head.

"Did you like it?" He points to the frame, smiling. I nod, touching the picture.

"It's spectacular."

"I drew it." He explains, coming up behind me. My heart skips a few beats when his arms wrap around my waist, and he presses his mouth against my ear. My spine freezes, and I get all goosebumps, from the last strand of my hair to the tips of my toes. "Come here, I want to show you something."

He pulls my hand and guides me to a room with white walls, some utensils and machines that, even as a layperson, I know are for tattooing. It's a very clean and sterilized place, with masks, disposable gloves, and colored inks in a glass and wood cabinet. The almost obsessive organization doesn't surprise me. When I saw Jungkook's apartment some time ago, I realized he likes everything very well organized, and his workplace wouldn't be any different. He sits me on the waiting sofa, and I observe some drawings in a black folder on the coffee table.

I don't know many people with tattoos, and I've never taken the time to appreciate this type of art, but I like what Jungkook does. He creates realistic designs, but most of them have fine and delicate touches. It's interesting to get to know another one of his sides that makes me more enchanted by him every day. I glance at my phone, thinking of my mother suddenly. I shake my head, determined to expel my restlessness. All these worries don't matter right now. She's out of town, and I need to stop tormenting myself about her. Jungkook appears at the door, almost as if he knew I was lost in thought, and smiles at me, mysteriously.

"What do you want to show me? I'm almost going crazy with curiosity." I confess, excited. He smiles, holding a roll of plastic wrap in one hand and raising a tablet in the other.

"I'm going to end your curiosity now." He says. "It's nothing special. I'm just going to do a tattoo on myself."

"What? Another one? Didn't you do one the day before yesterday?" I exclaim, opening my mouth in disbelief. He laughs at my surprise, as if he had said the most ordinary thing in the world.

"I've done tattoos on myself a few times; it's not a big deal. And I have to take advantage because the healing time is always restrict with food."

"Don't you feel pain while doing it?"

"I do." He confirms, shrugging. "But it's not unbearable, and I can stay still the whole time."

"Are you some kind of masochist?" I tease, watching him. Jungkook wraps the plastic around the tattoo machine and on the bench beside me without pausing.

"It's a nice pain." He smiles slyly, licking his lower lip. "It's almost like when I spank your butt. Don't you feel pleasure when there's a bit of it?"

"Jungkook!" I reprimand, my face burning with embarrassment at the question. He really has no scruples. And neither do I, because I hate to admit it, but I actually enjoy it when he spanks me.

"Some types of pain are bearable and nice to feel. You should try it." He suggests, sitting beside me.

"No, thanks." I decline. Just the thought of a needle piercing me, makes me anxious.

"Scaredy-cat." He mocks. He raises the tablet and shows me the drawing. It's a pink, reddish flower. It's a beautiful and interesting drawing, but apparently painful if done by oneself. I grimace, pitying him.

"What does it mean?" His face turns red suddenly. He looks at his hands and bites his lips, thoughtful.

"It's the flower of my birth. The tiger flower." He diverts his gaze from mine, leaving me confused.

"What is it?" I ask, laughing. Generally, I'm the shy one in the relationship.

"It's nothing; it's just that... it means 'please, love me.' I think that phrase is so beautiful and, at the same time, so sad."

"Please, love me." I repeat, testing the words on my tongue. It really is sad but touching. I wonder, however, why he chose that tattoo. "Are you sure you can handle it?" I question, worried, somewhat skeptical. Jungkook turns completely to me and narrows his dark eyes, looking at me.

"Of course I can. Don't doubt my abilities."

"I'm not doubting." I explain, putting my hands in front of my body to defend myself. "It's just that it's a drawing with many details. It's normal for you not to be able to do something like that in a short time. It's already seven."

"Let's make a bet?" He suggests, brushing his hair from his face. I get excited about the proposal, nodding my head.

"Sure, why not? But what can we bet on?"

"If I can't finish the tattoo in two hours, you choose something for us to do together." The dark-haired boy explains, running his fingers on my thigh. A shiver runs up my spine as he trails his fingers on my skin, slowly lifting my skirt with ease.

"Do something together? Like what?" I frown, curious. He smiles, this time wickedly. His hand goes from my thighs to my neck, pulling my hair back. He entwines his fingers in my strands and caresses my scalp with his thumb. A breath of arousal escapes my mouth, beyond my control.

"Anything. You decide."

"And if you win the bet, you do whatever you want with me?" I tease, laughing at my own question. Jungkook doesn't deny it, however, looking at me with a serious expression that, if it weren't for the situation, would disturb me.

"I already know what I want." He says in a husky voice. "If I win the bet, you touch yourself in front of me, like I asked you to."

"J-Jungkook! I can't do that." I choke, shaking my head. I would die of embarrassment. I've tried a few times to touch myself, I confess, but I never succeeded. I always felt awkward, as if something was missing. As if I were a complete weirdo for even trying.

"Are you already thinking about losing? That's not how bets work."

"I've never bet on something like this." I laugh ironically, trembling. His hand releases my hair but doesn't stop touching me. He slides his palm further down and caresses my stomach, which bubbles because of him. I'm so entranced by his touch that I can't stop him and let Jungkook slip under my shirt, heading for my breasts, covered by my bra.

"Think of the other side. If I lose, you can do whatever you want with me." He argues quietly, giving a small smile.

I start imagining what I would do with him if I won the bet. I'm not very creative, but something that really excites me would be to bring him to the edge just like he did with me last night. He denied my orgasm, and I want to do the same with Jungkook, over and over again. Of course, I would have to be very confident, and I don't know if I could achieve my goal, but I think it's worth a try.

"Alright. I agree." I nod nervously. He approaches with a sideways smile and tucks my hair behind my ear, before closing his eyes and kissing my mouth.

I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen our kiss, massaging his mouth with mine. I bite his lower lip, only satisfied when I hear a rumble from him deep in his throat. He smirks between caresses, stops, and attacks my neck, licking my skin and leaving a thin trail of saliva. Weeks ago, I couldn't even imagine a man without clothes in front of me, and now all I want is to suck him off and feel him come in my mouth, just like last night. I still remember the result of his pleasure flowing down my throat, and my desire to repeat everything we did makes my brain intoxicated. I'm completely lost in wanting this man.

"A kiss to seal the deal." Jungkook grunts and pulls away, his mouth swollen. I try to continue the kiss with the excitement eating me from the inside out, but he smiles and stops touching me completely. "I have to start this tattoo if I want to win the bet."

Jungkook stands up and sketches the rose on a piece of paper. My head disconnects from reality while he begins the work. I pick up my phone for a few seconds and see the time passing. I would be more worried if my mother weren't out of town. I leave the sofa, needing to pee, and open a door marked for the bathroom. I take care of my business and look at myself in the mirror. My face looks apparently normal, if not for my flushed cheeks and red lips from the kisses. I splash a bit of water on myself, and when I feel calmer, I return to the tattoo studio. The machine works continuously, and Jungkook seems submerged and engrossed in his task, furrowing his brows, totally focused.

I shouldn't have accepted this bet. Jungkook has several tattoos, and it's obvious that his pain tolerance is high. I know he will win. The way he remains silent and effortlessly pierces his own skin tells me that sooner or later, I'll have to fulfill the difficult challenge. I bite my lip, watching the drawing of the flower being completed as the minutes pass. It's a very time-consuming process, but minutes fly. I am so relaxed and still that I could almost fall asleep listening to the buzzing of the needle.

"Y/N, I ordered food for both of us." I hear his voice suddenly. I jump a bit because I didn't notice he was talking to me, lost in my own head. "I hope you like pasta."

"I really like it, thanks." I say, shaking my head. I'm really hungry.

Before long, someone rings the studio's doorbell. Jungkook even tries to get up to answer the delivery person, but there's no way I'd let him go outside when he's so focused on his own work. I go outside and grab the food bag, seeing that he ordered beer, pasta, fries, and a can of Diet Coke for both of us. I'm happy to notice, in such a simple gesture, that he remembered I don't drink alcohol. My mouth instantly fills with saliva.

"I think you're not going to win the bet." I comment, sitting back on the sofa. I separate my food from his, tasting the delicious vegetable sauce that is the most tasty thing in the world. At least that's what my stomach thinks, given how hungry I am.

"I'm almost done." He brags, still tattooing himself. He passes a paper to remove the excess ink from his skin and raises an eyebrow confidently. "I can't wait to see you touching yourself."

"That's not going to happen." I guarantee with a certainty I don't have, blushing and taking a sip of the soda. It's refreshing, going cold down through my throat.

"Let's see if it won't. Do you really think I'm going to miss the chance to watch you masturbating?"

"Jungkook..." I mumble, covering my face. "Don't you have any shame? Stop saying those things."

"Don't worry, Y/N." He smiles, confident in his victory. "You still have a reasonable amount of time to get used to the idea."

"Focus, Kook." I change the subject; my heart races just imagining myself in that situation. He falls silent and bites his lower lip, looking at me from head to toe with such hunger that makes me nervous and excited. I swallow my food as he returns to tattooing, wondering if he will really finish the drawing in time.

And he does. Of course, he does. In the end, after one hour and forty-five minutes, Jungkook has a new complete drawing on his right arm, along with other tattoos that adorn his body. I finished my food just in time to see him ending everything with mastery and calm, as if he wasn't worried about our bet. His hungry eyes find mine, and I know exactly what he wants. I swallow hard, squeezing my thighs together.

"I think I deserve my prize since I won the bet."

"Y-yes." I respond, trembling. My heart beats loudly in my chest, and I have to breathe deeply to finally realize that I don't feel fear, not even a hint of hesitation. All I feel is lust and desire. A longing to have him closer, to touch him in his rawest form. I sigh, watching him stand up and walk calmly towards me, like a predator; a lion eyeing its prey. I shrink back on the couch, small, now that he is standing. His knee sneaks between my legs, and separates my thighs before he squats down, and brings his face closer to mine.

"I don't want you to touch yourself here." He whispers, like a secret. His dilated pupils when he gazes at my mouth. "In my apartment. In my bed. I want you there."

Ask for a TAGLIST in the comments.

@ane102 @joonwater @ttipa

[zelda-cooper]

Character Ideas for Writers - Bushroot (Darkwing Duck)

This blog is for Darkwing Duck writers who plan to write a fanfic, comic or anything that directly or indirectly involves the character Bushroot. The ideas may not be for everyone and everyone has their own different vision of the character, but this blog is for those who are experiencing writer's block or any other creative issues. I hope you understand and, if you use any of these ideas, please give me credit. Thank you for understanding.

Yeah, I know, this blog took longer than I wanted... But in my defense, my college (yes, I'm in college-) gave me a lot of work to do, so that's it... Little time to make a blog... But I did it little by little and, now, here I am! Well, my dear writers, fanfiction writers, Fan Comics writers and Darkwing Duck fans, let's start with tips about my second favorite Darkwing Duck villain, Reginald Bushroot!:D

(Second favorite, because you already know... My number one favorite villain is Liquidator... -w-)

I decided to start with Bushroot because I had more ideas related to him and I was rewatching the Darkwing Duck episodes while listening to the Podcast "The Saint Canarian Files: A Darkwing Duck Podcast" (By the way, listen to their Podcast, it's really good and they bring curiosities about the production of the episodes :³). And, also, I ended up changing my mind about the "Bushroot Redemption Arc" that was being done in the "Boom Comics" comics and, after hearing some opinions from other people, I ended up liking the idea (and also, this blog was supposed to be released last month because Bushroot, believe it or not, is a good horror character). This blog will be divided into topics and, in each topic, I will talk about specific themes, but that encompass several ideas about that theme. Enjoy! :D

Oh, and for the people who came to the blog to complain about my ideas, I didn't see that you agree with my opinions, don't like Bushroot or are just here to complain as if it were Twitter... I kindly ask that you leave peacefully, malicious or inappropriate comments will be deleted.

Character's Past

This topic (as well as others) is optional, but if you want to make a story (like a fanfic, comic or One-Shot) focused on the character, this topic can be good to give more layers to the character.

I've heard many psychologists talk about how our inner child defines who we are in the present, and despite a series of factors involved, it's really true. So, in Bushroot's case, we have to define what made him a person who, despite being good deep down, ends up losing control of his emotions and ends up doing questionable things, and who also can't express what he wants to others. So I took some things from the psychoanalysis of Attachment Theory. And, to give a very rough summary (go research it later if you want), it is a theory that says that your type of attachments to friendships, family, work and romantic relationships can fit into four aspects of attachment: Anxious Attachment, Avoidant Attachment, Disorganized Attachment and Secure Attachment.

Since our focus is on Bushroot, after analyzing each of the attachments, I classified it into the two most likely attachments for him: Anxious Attachment and Disorganized Attachment.

- Anxious Attachment

The theory says that Anxious Attachment is caused when the person responsible for the child was inconsistent in meeting the child's needs, such as security, affection and attention. One day the child had a lot and the next, he had little. This attachment causes the child to end up developing affective anxiety, with this unpredictability of the person who took care of the child projecting itself into the constant fear that people will abandon him. And this also extends to other life experiences besides older people, such as having a boyfriend or a friend who sometimes gave you attention, and sometimes barely spoke to you, which can be harmful to future relationships, because the person ends up suffocating the loved one in search of validation and security, usually looking for dynamics that are "familiar" to them from past experiences. The points that make Bushroot have part of this attachment are:

Needs constant validation

Never feels loved enough

Has emotional ups and downs

His biggest fear is that they will abandon him

Constantly questioning your worth as a person based on the answers you receive

Always needs attention from others

He cares a lot about every detail

There have been moments considered toxic because of emotional dependence.

He has anxiety and worries a lot about the possibility of betrayal, of people no longer loving him or being interested in him.

- Disorganized Attachment

People with Disorganized Attachment are commonly the result of living in a hostile family environment, with dysfunctional dynamics and emotional abuse. The retained trauma ends up being manifested in later relationships. And, of course, it can also be developed in adulthood. Even if the person has received love in a good family environment, they can become a person with this attachment after traumatic experiences with a toxic partner. Extremely stressful situations can cause this type of attachment. The points that make Bushroot have part of this attachment are:

You don't know how to regulate your emotions, you never know what you're going to feel around someone

There was more than one person in that area who mistreated him

Carry unhealed traumas that show up in relationships

You know his behavior seems contradictory

People are generally untrustworthy

Feeling incomplete, with very low self-esteem

You want to be loved, but you're afraid of being hurt

You know that any relationship will always abandon you

I would like to love myself more, but I don't know if I can

So, yeah... You can take the Bushroot side of things, as a child, having had inconsistent parents or having lived in a hostile family environment, because both attachments are valid. But let's get out of the speculation part and into the part that's probably more fun to play with.

Origin of Powers and Mutation

Definitely the one I had the most ideas for, but let's take it one step at a time... We already know Bushroot's personality and why he did the experiment in the original, but if you want to change that, I have some suggestions.

- Trying to cure a terminal illness

I know, it's a cliché that a scientist tries to cure a disease that would probably kill him or make him lose something that would end his life, but it's still a cliché that, if done well, can give a greater dramatic load to the character. Having reached such an extreme point just to survive, it can also show the character's selfishness, even if small.

- Seek approval and recognition

This is also nothing new considering the duck plant, but it is really valid and is in the original, in parts. And it still works, changing one point or another, it can be well executed.

- Sabotaged by colleagues

This is a strand that goes a little against the original, but it is valid. If Bushroot had his project approved by his boss, Dr. Gary and Dr. Larson would probably be very angry with the duck and would have sabotaged the project, which would cause his mutation and, consequently, they would have indirectly caused their own deaths. But if you want a more interesting Plot Twist... We have another strand of this idea.

- Rhoda being the culprit behind the Bushroot mutation

If you want to completely change the origin of the mutation, you can do the following... Bushroot would be getting approval and would be making money with his projects, while Rhoda is about to be fired, so she decides to use the fact that Bushroot always wants approval from others and convince him to try to do a riskier project. However, she ends up tricking him and using him as an unwitting guinea pig, which ends up causing his mutation and, in the end, she is the one who receives the credit (even though the project was Bushroot's), which causes Bushroot to become blind with rage and want revenge on everyone, including Rhoda. It would be an interesting origin and one that, in fact, would add a lot to his story. And since we're talking about Rhoda...

Rhoda's Character

Another optional topic, but one that could be interesting to work on... Because, in itself, Rhoda's character is not very developed, she serves more as a stepping stone for the plot to follow and to contribute to Bushroot's initial motivation. So, if you want to work more on the character and her relationship with Bushroot, here are some suggestions.

- Keep the original personality, but with more development

It's self-explanatory, but it's valid... The issue of Rhoda being the only person who supports Reginald and truly believes in him is good, whether she just sees him as a friend or something more, which would also give more impact when Bushroot loses his sanity and ends up becoming a villain. You can also try to include her in a few times, making her a recurring secondary character and developing her personality more.

- Good on the outside, but manipulative and cruel on the inside

There are two sayings in my country that I've heard of: the first is "Love makes people blind" and the second is "Love is a purple flower, which grew in the heart of a fool". These two sayings fit this idea... If you want to make a more interesting plot twist, you can use Rhoda as a ladder for a character who seems good, but deep down she is the "mad scientist" of the story. As mentioned in the idea of Rhoda being the culprit of everything, she would have tricked Bushroot into stealing his project and thus gaining money and recognition, never having truly cared about him. This, besides being a plot twist for the audience, would be a reality check for Darkwing Duck, who would be shocked when he found out about this. It could also open the basis for a lot of symbolism regarding this act of Rhoda, but I'll leave that one for you to think about.

- Dying (unintentionally or not) because of Bushroot

Regardless of the path you choose, whether you want Rhoda to be good or evil, another idea that would be interesting is if Bushroot ended up killing her. Whether by accident, with the collapse of the laboratory or a fit of rage that hit Rhoda, or intentionally, with him killing her in cold blood or replicating her experiment, but ending up killing her in the process. But that depends on each writer, the shock value has to be used in the right way and that makes sense in the narrative, and there is no point in killing the character if there is no development for her or her death. But going back to the question of the Bushroot mutation...

Consequences of Mutation

We already know that he became a plant mutant and that this gave him, in addition to plant powers, an extremely surprising regeneration capacity. But what about the consequences of the mutation? Would there be any? I have some suggestions...

- Physical consequences of the body

For those who study biology, you know that our body has a certain "recipe" that, if changed, can cause physiological problems for us. In the case of Bushroot, because he transformed (or was transformed) his body into a plant, his body could reject the mutation. Whether it's his organs not adapting well and causing him to have internal problems, vomiting flowers like "Hanahaki" (those who know fanfics know this term), or him having the physiology of a zombie, losing his vocal cords and becoming hunched over, among other problems.

- Psychological problems

If you want to go into the more psychological aspect of the character, there are also ways to work on that. You can work on an identity crisis in him, with him realizing that he is no longer human and questioning whether he is still himself. You can explore how the mutation ended up affecting his brain, which makes him slowly start to lose his sanity and have hallucinations. Or, if you want to follow the original, explore how lonely Bushroot is now that he is a mutant, since everyone is afraid of him and wants him away, which also touches on the issue of his emotional dependence. But, for this last suggestion, we have a hook to talk about another topic.

Relationships

I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I'm also talking about friendship and enmity. Let's start with the basics...

- Darkwing Duck

Everyone knows this... Bushroot doesn't like Darkwing Duck at first, mainly because he keeps getting in the way of his plans, but their relationship in the comics and the series ends up changing. Like in "Silme Okay, You're Okay", "Jailbird", "Twin Beaks" and in the zombie potato comic (I can't remember the name right now), they've already teamed up against a bigger villain. In the latter, by the way, it was the first time that Darkwing called Bushroot by his nickname, "Reggie". It comes to the point that, despite all their differences, they are similar, Darkwing even says this: "I know we have our differences...". You can explore either the aspect of Bushroot's hatred towards Darkwing or the aspect of Darkwing being a person who, even though Bushroot is a villain, supports his change of character.

- Fearsome Four

This is the second relationship that is most important, after all, he is in a group of powerful villains... But let's take it one step at a time... Quackerjack is one of the ones he would get along with the least, because, besides Quackerjack being noisy, it was seen in "Jailbird" that he destroys Reginald's plants a lot and doesn't care about his feelings. With Megavolt, he wouldn't interact much, but they would probably get along, considering that they were both losers in the past and have interests in science (even if their field is different), despite Volt also being VERY noisy. Now, with Liquidator, who unfortunately was the least explored, you can see that they get along very well, and could be both the "brave and coward" duo, as well as, probably, two gossipers (because I really think that both of them would be the type of person who likes to gossip), besides that their relationship with Dator could help his self-esteem, even if just a little, because the water dog definitely doesn't take any nonsense.

Credits to @hahasuchagarbage for the idea and inspiration

- Negaduck

Yeah... It's definitely not good... I DOUBT that Negaduck would be nice to Bushroot, even if he is useful as a "henchman", Negaduck would consider him "too soft". You must know that Negaduck is a HORRIBLE person (don't even try to contradict that it's true!), but he would certainly be one of the factors for Bushroot to have trauma that would take him to therapy... Negaduck would ALWAYS threaten Bushroot for every thing he did wrong, whether psychologically or by threatening to burn him alive until he dies. One of the relationships that, besides being toxic, would be one of the factors for Bushroot to be excited about wanting to have redemption or not.

- Spike

To lighten the mood, let's talk about the plant dog Spike... Even though, in the series, Bushroot acted very badly towards Spike, their relationship would be very cute to explore. There are people who, when they feel bad, adopt therapy animals to improve their anxiety and other psychological problems, which ends up fitting with Spike. And with this cuteness, we move on to the next topic.

Powers

Another optional topic, however, equally interesting! We know that Bushroot's powers, in general, are limited to controlling plants, but if you want to expand Reggie's range of powers further, there are some that suit him.

- Expand his plant control

Self-explanatory, but it requires research into plant biology, and I understand that it can be boring, but it ends up being rewarding and makes you see that Bushroot is, in fact, one of Darkwing Duck's most powerful villains.

- Control insects

A slightly more insane idea, but an interesting one, considering that some plants can trick certain insects into survival, whether through pheromones or another method. So it would be interesting for Bushroot to use some formula to manipulate insects.

- Control people with pollen from modified flowers

Just like Poison Ivy, who is the inspiration for Bushroot, he can use the flowers to control people, not necessarily making them fall in love with him, but manipulating their minds to commit crimes for him or something else. And now, let's get to the topic everyone was waiting for...

Redemption or not? That is the question...

As has been said many times here, there is the option of leaving Bushroot as a villain and someone who does not want to change (as some episodes of the series and the comics, both old and Dynamite, did) and there is the option of working on Bushroot's redemption and making him become a hero or an anti-hero. And now, let's explore these two narrative points. And, just for the joke, I'm going to do like Undertale and call the slopes "Good Route", "Neutral Route" and "Evil Route".

- Good Route

The route follows what was proposed by the Boom Comics comics and was touched upon in the original series, a possible redemption of Bushroot... As seen in the other topics, Bushroot suffered a lot of trauma, whether from the past, in his origins or with Negaduck, being some of the reasons why Bushroot is apprehensive about having a redemption arc, asking himself "Is it worth it for me to do this? Will anyone really believe in me to the point of agreeing to help me? Or will everyone just abandon me for choosing this?". And the character who would probably help Reggie in this arc would be Gosalyn (because, as much as Darkwing Duck might consider it, he is not at all delicate with words). Gosalyn, despite being a character with a bit of "no filter", she is a good person and, upon seeing an act of kindness from Bushroot, she would want to help him change. However, Negaduck would be the main obstacle to this redemption, threatening Bushroot with death if he did so, but, in the end, Reggie would finally face him and, thus, would begin his arc of reform, whether as an Anti-hero or as a hero itself. As for the reaction of the other Fearsomes... It will depend... If you want to maintain a good relationship between Bushroot and them, the Fearsomes can get upset, but they would understand Bushroot's side and accept his choice. Now, if you want a negative reaction, you can make them angry and get satisfaction from Bushroot, who would reinforce that he no longer wants to be a villain.

- Neutra Route

She is a middle ground between the good Bushroot and the evil Bushroot, literally being in the middle of them. Bushroot could even consider having redemption, but due to Negaduck's constant threats, he would refuse, even if it would break Gosalyn's heart... However, the event of the Fearsome Four breaking away from Negaduck could occur, which could open the door for Bushroot to be an anti-hero who only kills horrible people, but not necessarily being a hero or a villain, truly being neutral, which still keeps him in the Fearsome Four.

- Evil Route

Now... If you want Bushroot to be 100% villainous, you can choose how to do it... You can make him slowly lose his sanity and, when he is given the chance to redeem himself, he is so insane and traumatized that he would furiously refuse. Or you can make him feel that, if he changes, he will lose everything he has built and his friendship with the Fearsomes, deciding to remain a villain. There may be an atmosphere of terror with these aspects. Or, if you want a more tragic side, make loneliness consume him completely and he becomes a complete villain because of it. You can also want to make him have a redemption, but for a series of factors and a series of issues, he ends up dying in the end, but doing an act of kindness before dying. It's a tragic fate, but you can choose whichever one you want.

Reference Suggestions

Last extra topic to end the blog with a flourish (or perhaps a marigold, if you prefer), which are literary and character tips for you to get inspired.

- Dr. Jerkyll and Mr. Hyde

It might be a good choice if you want to explore Bushroot's internal conflict, between being good or being evil.

- Frankenstein

The most classic parallel, if you want to use the idea of Rhoda being evil and Bushroot being the victim, is questioning the ethics of science and the dilemma of "Who is the monster and who is the human?".

- Poison Ivy

The most direct inspiration for Bushroot, but if you want, you can delve deeper into the character to have both the aspect of Bushroot's powers and more of his past.

- Pearl (from Steven Universe)

It is one of the most classic examples of characters who have emotional dependence and who can help this part of Bushroot evolve and become more self-sufficient.

- Dead Plate

This last one doesn't exactly match Bushroot, but the protagonist and antagonist have two parallels about "what is love?" I recommend researching more about the characters and the game.

Conclusion

But that's basically it, folks... The blog got bigger than I expected, but I hope I helped you! If you have any suggestions for ideas, leave them in the comments and I'll reblog them with your idea! Each like and reblog is a little Lemon Balm Tea to calm down poor Bushroot... That's it, BYEEE!!!

All the arts were made by me in traditional, I hope you liked it! ^^

[whumperstorm]

Supressing Fire - Part 3.5

Content: vampire whumper, defiant whumpee, mild violence, begging, crying

Two scenes from Keegan's captivity that aren't quite long enough their own chapters. Featuring Keegan trying to rebel however she can, and Kane earning his "Not As Much of a Jerk as You Could Have Been" Award.

Part 1/Previous/Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One evening, as Kane feeds, Keegan's eyes wander over his shoulder. She just barely suppresses a gasp when she sees it. Her little art project, taped to her punching bag and crumpled from numerous bouts of abuse by Keegan's fists. It was an excellent improvement to her self care routine, in her opinion. After Kane's generous donation of fresh bruises after she “sighed disrespectfully" last week. But one that should not have been left out after use.

Keegan rips her gaze away from it and stares a hole into the floor instead. Maybe he won't see it?

Of course he sees it.

"What is that?" he demands, stalking toward it and ripping the paper off--a crude portrait of what looks to be him. Scribbled in crayons.

"Um-" She says dumbly. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"It's not supposed to fucking be in my house!" Kane tears the paper in two, crumpling it and tossing it to the floor. "I thought this punching bag was supposed to make you better behaved, not a sneaky, disobedient little brat. Maybe I should take it away after all, if it's doing you no good!"

The best way Keegan knows to get out of this mess is to apologize. To show respect and beg Kane for forgiveness so he doesn't get angrier. That is not what she does.

"Oh come on, It's just a drawing!" She huffs. "I've been good haven't I? This wouldn't have bothered you at all if you hadn't seen it!"

Kane storms over and backhands her across the face.

"I will not tolerate disrespect!" he screams. "This is not what being good looks like! You will learn your place!"

The strike hurts. Keegan's head snaps to the side and she lets out a shout of pain, but she doesn’t back down. "My God, grow a fucking spine!!" She spits, standing up to tower over him. "I've been your perfect little pet for months! Since I can't knock your lights out, I used what I got. At least this Kane was nicer to look at!"

Kane shoves her, sending her toppling to the ground, then lands a hard kick in her side.

"You've improved. I'd hardly call you perfect," he spits. "This is exactly the problem with you. Nothing works. You know what? Say goodbye to the punching bag. Clearly, this isn't working." He goes to take it down.

For some reason, that sends a jolt of panic through Keegan's chest. More so than the abuse. She fights to get air back into her lungs and reaches out towards Kane.

"W-wait!"

It's not really about the bag. She has other amenities. But they're all generic. The bag is the only thing that's hers. A piece of her personality to light up her dreadful little prison.

She can't bear the thought of losing what little she has.

Keegan pulls herself up to kneel respectfully. "Don't take it, I-I'm sorry." It may not be enough now. Not after her outburst.

It's fake. So obviously fake, how she only deigns to respect Kane when she has something to lose. It only fans the fire inside him further. He needs to break her foolish pride.

He glares down at her. "Beg."

Keegan glares a hole into the floor. She hates him. She hates him with every cell in her body. But punching bag or not, she can't back out now. Any more rebellion and she'll be black and blue for days.

She hangs her head, face burning in shame. "Please... sir. I'm sorry. Please give me another chance... No more disrespect, whether you're present or not."

"Hmph. I'll believe it when I see it. Watch it, human. I'm the one in control here."

And with that, Kane leaves, slamming the door behind him.

Keegan lets out a breath when he leaves. Never has she felt more helpless and tiny. She can’t even exist in peace without the threat of Kane’s interference. Everything is a fight in this place. A fight she's bound to lose each and every time.

But, well... she glances up. At least she still has the punching bag.

She groans, flopping miserably back down into bed.

------

Things continue as normal from there. Kane still needs to violently discipline his human on a regular basis, but the frequency has gone down a bit. He wonders if it's really the punching bag, or just a coincidence. The fact that it seems to be making her behave better is the only reason he doesn't go through with taking it away.

Many months pass and they fall into a routine. Some days are bad, with a defiant human he needs to correct, and some days are good, with the human coming out and playing chess or watching movies with him, countering his debilitating loneliness. 

One such good day, while they're watching a movie, the protagonist goes to celebrate his birthday. Kane usually skips this part, hating the sour reminder, but he doesn't want to raise questions from the human. He lets it play without comment.

In all honesty, Keegan hasn't thought about her birthday at all. She's had too much on her mind and no one around to remind her that it's coming up. But the movie scene has her realizing what month they're in. Her birthday is in three days. She’s hit with a wave of depressed bitterness. 

It was nowhere near her birthday when she was kidnapped, so it's yet another reminder of how long she's been here. Not only that, but she's turning twenty-one. That's a pretty big milestone and she gets to what, sit in an empty room and sing happy birthday to herself? She won't even get a hug from her sister. She knows her hunting guild enjoys throwing surprise parties. She wonders if they'd have planned one for her. 

Her thoughts spiral, and to her horror, she starts to cry. She hardly ever cries. She hates crying in front of others, and here she is sobbing in front of Kane of all people. She tries to hold it back, silent tears falling down her cheeks. She can't even excuse herself. She has to ask to do anything around here and he'll obviously notice her tears if she asks to leave. She sits there rigidly, until eventually a tiny, involuntary sob escapes.

Kane is so wrapped up in his own birthday-adjacent pity party that he doesn't notice the human crying until he hears her sob. He turns to her, caught off-guard. "What's wrong?" he asks. He hasn't been disciplining her, so he's not sure why she's upset.

Keegan is mortified. She hastily scrubs at her face to wipe away the tears, like that'll somehow make it less obvious. God he's actually asking what's wrong? Like he'd care about a human's birthday of all things. He'd probably get mad that she's even making a fuss about it. She can already hear his cruel comment. ‘You’re not a person. You’re food. You don’t have a birthday.’ 

"It’s- it’s fine." She dismisses. "Can I go back to my room?"

Kane turns off the movie. Something isn't right here. The human's never acted like this before.

"Tell me what's wrong and then you can go," he compromises. Maybe he's feeling soft because of the feelings thinking about his birthday dredged up, or maybe it's the disappointment at a nice night spent not on his lonesome being cut short. "You won't be in trouble."

Keegan puts her head in her hands for a moment, sighing. Even her own sadness doesn't belong to her. But, at least he said she won't be in trouble, and Kane has yet to lie to her. "It's not important. I just... realized my birthday is in three days." Her voice grows quieter as she speaks, mumbling by the end and looking away as fresh tears bubble up. "Can I go now?" She wants nothing more than to get away from this humiliating situation.

For the first time, Kane feels some sort of connection with his human, some sort of guilt for his actions. Here she is, unable to celebrate her birthday- because of him.

"You may go," he concedes, trying to process the unfamiliar emotions.

Keegan wastes no time, scurrying back to her room. She spends a while in the bathroom, calming down and washing her face. She doesn't even feel like using the punching bag, instead lying in bed wallowing in self pity the rest of the night. The conversation isn't brought back up in the following days, so Keegan hopes that's the end of it. The evening of her birthday however, she wakes up in an awful mood.

Kane, for the life of him, decides to do research. It's embarrassing, going to the library and asking for books on human celebrations, but he does it anyway. Most of what he finds is anthropological research on human religious practices, but he does eventually find something on birthdays. Human birthday celebrations seem to be similar to vampire ones in many ways, except for the cake. The cake is apparently a very big part of it, a large, sweet human food. Other than that, the customs of parties and presents are similar. 

On the night of Keegan's birthday, Kane comes in and feeds from her as normal. Just because it's her birthday doesn't mean he doesn't need to eat. But after that... "I have something for you. Come on out." He turns to exit the human quarters, gesturing for her to follow him out.

Keegan endures the bite. Same bullshit as always. When Kane invites her out, she follows, curiously. She'd rather stay holed up in her room today, but Kane doesn't usually get her things she hasn’t asked for.

Waiting on the mug table is a large, elaborate birthday cake, the kind that must have cost hundreds of dollars. Next to it is a medium-sized gift wrapped in shiny paper.

"Happy birthday," Kane says awkwardly.

Keegan stares in utter shock. "You- what?" She looks at Kane, then back at the table. Is he serious? It can't be a prank. She can tell from here that the cake is real. But this is a man who has stolen her life away, and her blood, and abused her countless times over the past months. And who's now celebrating her birthday?

"...Why?" She asks quietly.

Kane glances briefly at her, then realizes he's far too embarrassed of his own sincerity to make eye contact, and stares forward at the table instead. "It's your birthday. It deserves to be celebrated."

"oh..." Keegan is tearing up again, but controls it better this time. It feels like a piece of her humanity has returned. She might be nothing but food here, and constantly referred to as "human" instead of by name, but she's still deserving of a birthday? That's a better gift than anything that could be in that box. She still doesn't understand why he cares, he’s the one who put her in this situation after all, but it’s something.

“Thank you…” She steps hesitantly towards it, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when he doesn't stop her she kneels down next to the table. "Can I open it?" She asks, reaching for the gift.

"You're welcome. Go ahead," Kane encourages. This is weird. Vampires aren't supposed to celebrate their humans' birthdays. She's food. But... he can't deny her this. He just can't.

When Keegan opens the gift, she finds some very fancy hard cider inside.

"I wasn't sure... um. This was one thing I knew you liked that you didn't already have," Kane explains. "Just for your birthday. No refills."

She's not sure why, maybe the way he awkwardly explains himself, or how ridiculous the whole situation is, but it has Keegan bursting out into laughter.

She doesn't want Kane to think she's mocking him so she quickly sputters out, "This is great, thanks." She takes a breath to get control over herself then adds, "You gonna be able to survive my nasty alcohol blood?"

"I'll manage," Kane says, unoffended. In his eyes, she's only insulting herself.

The rest of the night is a peaceful one, spent doing whatever activities the human wants. Though Kane grimaces at the taste of her blood on occasion as she makes her way through the cider in the coming weeks, he makes no comment on it. It was her birthday gift.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist: @whumpsday @not-a-space-alien @anomalys-taxonomy @what-if-i-just-did @dragonqueenslayer6 @jumpywhumpywriter @writereleaserepeat

[weepingchronicles]

platonic yandere katara headcanons

tw/cw: overbearing behavior, yandere, guilt tripping, infantilizing

a/n: yippie katara headcanons! this is just thoughts I had and female yanderes are so underated here especially katara herself

I'm also working your guys requests, i have a lot of drafts right now!!

katara is a very controlling but soft yandere

her tendencies are a bit more toned down if you're older than her, but if you're younger you are basically adopted as her little sibling or mother

however she sees you as, she's still very motherly

she's a bit more soft because she'll let you socialize and have friends especially with those she loves like aang, sokka and toph

but she'll get VERY protective if fire nation is somehow involved, even when she eventually warms up to zuko she doesn't like him around you

if you're fire nation however? she'll insist that you're different and the only one who is truly good in her eyes

if you go against her and talk to zuko or someone fire nation, she'll basically guilt trip you and cry

"how could you do this to me? you know my mother died by firebenders" sob sob

some part of its sincere, other half knows if she cries you'll do as she says

if you ever get sick or injured, she is by your side ALL THE TIME

if you get a smallest paper cut or bruise she'll insist on healing it for you, which is fine at first until she demands full body healing sessions DAILY just incase you're hurt somewhere she can't see or you can't feel

her controlling tendencies go to its MAX and her overwhelming need to care for you goes out of control. she'll bathe you or at least be right beside you (just incase something happens!!), cook for you, do all your clothes, EVERYTHING until you're fully healed.

she genuinely hates to see you like this and couldn't live with herself if you got hurt more because she wasn't there.

the only reason she lets you come with her and the rest of the gaang is because what if something happens to you and she isn't there to heal you? she just needs you to be within a 2 feet radius

the only way i can see you reasoning with her is if you go to sokka or aang for help, to intervene. aang straight up says no, he's too loyal to katara and knows she's projecting her trauma onto you. sokka does try talking but it ends up in a full blown argument and kinda gives up

besides it's not like she's hurting you or anything??

she'll tone it down after sokka talks with her a bit but goes back right after

so you might as well live with it! 🩷🩷

if you try to escape, which I don't blame you-

you might be able to get away for even a month or two if you prepare well enough but cmon, she has the fucking avatar as a boyfriend and a flying bison

it won't take too long before she tracks you so enjoy your freedom while it lasts

when she "reunites" with you, it's all tears. she's somehow even more overbearing and checks if you're hurt and asks 100 times as well

she won't be mad at you neither will she punish you

she'll definitely keep a closer eye on you and will snoop through your things if she believes you're plotting

the most she'll do to punish you is, again, guilt tripping

"how could you do this to me? you're just like my dad, leaving me alone!"

she's practically hysterical and the only way to calm her down is if you apologize and swear to never do it again

another thought is if she'd bloodbend for you?

I don't think she would nor do I think she'd get to the point of killing someone for you unless they MUST be stopped

but i do think she'd threaten to bloodbend others or maybe even you if pushed far enough

she'd never actually do it though..

[roseofhybrids]

i put a microphone near your face

how are you feeling after that md stuff huh

Well, the fact that it'll be the end of the series makes it a bit bittersweet, but it had to end at some point. If the story can be told in 8 episodes then so be it. 8 is a lot more than what I had a little over a year ago when I first decided to watch it

I've been invested in quite a few projects that I've never seen get a conclusion to (mostly webcomics, so so many unfinished webcomics). Which is probably where I got the patience to wait as long as I do for these sorts of things. It's easy to wait a few months for an episode to air after waiting multiple years for things that never came to be

Having an ending is much better than the limbo of always being stuck somewhere in the middle, just being left to wonder forever what was meant to happen. So I'm overjoyed that we'll get to see this story get a proper ending

But it is still bittersweet. The show will end, and for a lot of people that means the fandom ending too. I don't believe that's the case, no matter how old something is or how long it's been over for, I see no reason to stop getting as invested as one does with a brand-new piece of media. But still, not everyone can stick around forever. So I'm preparing myself for people to move on. It's sad, but as inevitable as the show itself ending. No matter how long-lasting a fandom, members will move on to other things eventually. Personally, I don't see myself stopping the fan art any time soon. I've never had a reaction to a show like this before. I've gotten really invested in things the same way before, but all those instances it eventually died down after a few weeks and I could stop binge-watching/reading the thing over and over and just be normal about it.

Murder Drones on the other hand. It's been well over a year at this point. I managed to pull my shit together after two weeks like I usually do, but a fraction of the intensity lingered. Now I'm here, with 109 post tagged "murder drones fanart" and 623 just tagged "murder drones" according to the Tumblr archive

I still get giddy rewatching the episodes, still have a long ever-growing list of drawing ideas, still think about the little robots on a daily basis. So yeah, I think I might just be stuck like this the same way I'm stuck forever liking animals, ghosts, and roller coasters. Eventually I'll have to get back to drawing my own characters and one day make my own comics and such. But as things stand, I can see myself still drawing MD art for years. One can only hope I can balance the two out

So yeah, how I'm feeling, Excitement for another episode and finally seeing how this all ends. Dread for the inevitable change, not looking forward to that part, (the joys of living with an anxiety disorder am I right fellas? c'est la vie, c'est la mort) and just a touch of nausea, because this is a lot of excitement after just waking up

so anyhow, gunna go watch the trailer on repeat a couple times and then see if I can't calm myself down a bit afterward

[nexility-sims]

𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲.

i, frankly, haven't had the energy or positive mindset to sit down and write anything extensive out for this gratitude day, which is is a shame. however, i wanted to post something, with promises to outpour more love next year !

at this moment, i believe it's fair to say i'm most grateful for the folks in my simblr writing group. i've told you all multiple times how happy being in a group together makes me but, damn it, everyone else needs to know, too !!!! it's only been two months, but it feels like so much longer because everyone has been so enthusiastic and earnest—in general, but also with embracing each other's stories, getting to know one another, providing support and assistance. that was all i wanted. this little community's establishment has coincided with a terrible loss and truly awful time in my life, and i just can't adequately express how appreciative i am for everyone. i want to shoutout @300yearschallenge, @bridgeportbritt, @crownsofesha, @daniigh0ul, @greensleeves101066, @lynzishell, @madebysimblr, @rebouks, @simming-in-the-rain, @simstrashkingdom, @sirianasims, @saerelia, and @hannahssimblr in particular for so many insightful, instructive, funny conversations. it's so wild to me that i just met most of you and yet am excited every day to see what you've got to say. that's to say nothing of the storytelling itself !!!!! i'm grateful as well for @digital-deluxe @earthmoonz @funkyllama @housekonig @igglemouse @moonfromearth @simabloom @simeaz @simmysunset @stillgotme @the-lancasters @theroyalthornoliachronicles @trentonsimblr @warwickroyals @saerelia @xldkx i still have lots of catching up to do, but i'm happy to say i've started and am enjoying several, finally. i'm taking notes, whether it's on family dynamics or compelling prose or friendship or the importance of backgrounds and settings or whatever else. lastly, perhaps predictably: i haven’t kept up with too many stories this year for various reasons, but i have been @armoricaroyalty's biggest fan for the last two years. i’m grateful that gabe and i had such a truly epic, ridiculously fun collaborative project this year (almost entirely gabe’s doing, which makes me even more determined to repay the favor). i’m also so proud and happy that gabe’s story has really hit its stride and garnered a lot of well-deserved praise this year.

the big reason why i love gabe’s story is because there are so many interesting characters, all doing something, all woven together in ways that feel realistic and suspenseful and dramatic and hilarious and romantic … it takes a little bit of talent, a lot of skill, and a boatload of discipline to pull that off. gabe has all of it, and i’m so grateful to have been allowed to join in—whether as an enthusiastic sounding board, a partner in plotting, or just someone to agree heartily that, yes, that freddy poll had one (1) correct answer. i'm so excited to see the story continue now that this phenomenal chapter is ending, i have and will continue to learn a lot about the craft from gabe, and my own storytelling has improved immensely just by association (you know, plus the fact that my current project wouldn’t exist without him). oh, and: simblr is also about making friends, and our friendship is hands-down the best thing i've gotten out of this whole endeavor.

all of this makes me believe, in conclusion, that 2024 is going to be full of more delightful conversation, more delightful stories to read, and more friendship ♥️

[chubbycelebs]

The Weight of Fame (part 3)

As the months went by, the pounds kept adding up. Harry had really gone from fit, toned and in shape to now a mound of lard. His abs had stretched into a belly, now extended so far over his crotch, it was impossible for him to see his own dick. His chest and thighs grew thicker and bigger, pushing the seams of his clothes. But even though Harry now has a huge hairy body, he loved it. The feeling of a tight stomach after stuffing his belly all day, clothes he used to love bursting off his jiggly belly. There wasn't anything that Harry missed about being skinny, because being fat was so much better.

One morning as Harry put on a shirt, not even bothering to button it up already knowing his belly would bust the buttons off, he became intreigued by his weight. He hadn't actually stepped on the scales since putting all this weight on. He knew in his peak he was about 150lbs but he was wondering how much he had gained since those days.

Harry pulled the scales out and stood and looked at them for a while. Did he want to put a number on his weight gain? Did he really want to know just how big he had gotten or would that make him self concious of his huge size. As Harry rubbed his gut, he decided to give his fat friend Louis a call.

Since their last long phone call, the two had kept in contact over messages. Harry Loved talking to Louis, not even about getting fat but just everyday things. In fact when he thought about it, the two had hardly bought up the fact they both had stuffed their bellies fat. Harry decided to call Louis over his concerns about his big gut. He pressed to face time and after a few seconds of waiting, he answered.

Harry on his screen, even though he was not showing off his belly, still looked very chubby, his cheeks and double chin were becoming very prominate. On the other hand however, Louis looked how he did when they were in the band. Harry thought that he must have gained mostly in the belly and not in the face.

"You're alright Harry!" Louis said smiling, very happy to see his chubby friend on screen again.

"Yeah I'm great thank you! I've been eating pretty well" Harry said with a chuckle, pointing the camera at his belly, giving his gut a shake. Louis laughed at this and blushed slightly but then his face dropped slightly. "Whats up?"

Louis looked down at this body and then pointed the camera down. Harry did not see a big bulbous stomach like his, instead Louis body had gone back to how it was back in the band. "I had to lose it all Harry. My PR team said that if I was to be fat when I release my album, I'll lose my sex appeal and this album can't flop. I'm sorry Harry." Harry didn't know what to say. Now every member of One Direction had released music apart from him and he was still a fat slob. "I'll probably gain it back one day Harry, don't worry. I enjoyed being fat like I said, I just need this to go well." Harry understood but couldn't help but be disappointed with the outcome. He hung up the phone and plopped him self on the sofa, eating a tub of ice cream. Harry sat there filling his belly up bigger and wondered if this would last. Can he really stay this big? Would he have to lose it like Louis did?

As he began to spiral he then thought, why is he worrying about that now? He is still not close to the album being done, he still doesn't need to see anyone in public yet, and he still had a few months left before his PR team would ask for his first solo project plans. In the moment Harry decided to give in, and get as big as he could. He didn't know if this could last a few months or years but he knew he wanted to get as huge as possible. And so Harry did just that.

Harry walked to the mirror and looked at himself the next morning. His unshaven face and long hair showed how little he cared for his appearance. He then lifted his shirt up to reveal his big hair belly. He stood and looked at his fat body in the mirror, still finding it hard to believe that he was really this big. He placed his hands on his gut, gave it a violent shake and said "Lets get you nice and big" with a final big slap as he went to the kitchen.

For the next few months Harry spent every waking moment filling his lard covered body with greasy fattening food. He was expanding from every direction, unstoppable endlessly stuffing his gut. And he loved it. The feeling of his body pushing further outwards, the constant jiggling and movement of the fat. If he could get bigger faster he would because he loved this feeling so much.

In between the stuffing and playing with him self, Harry was inspired to keep playing new music and descovering his sound. It seemed that the more he expanded the easier it was for him to make new music. It took the pressure off him when he sat down at the piano and could feel his belly pressed against it.

Harry had now grown out of his clothes apart from his grey sweats. Everyday he'd walk around just in his underwear or jogging bottoms if it was cold. His fat covered body kept the rest of his body warm. Its huge size made sure to keep his privates covered as well.

As the final month of his break began to come to a close, he was also finishing up his album and all the songs he wanted on it. He called his manager and arranged a meeting for the last week of the month. Harry didn't even think to warn his manager of his change in appearance. He had significantly changed since he was last seen by anyone. He had truly never even thought to get this big let alone actually get to this size. He was most defenatly obese if not morbidly. But Harry loved it. He felt so relaxed and happy with his body and comfortable with his lifestyle. This however was all about to change.

Sorry that this next part has taken so long to come out. I've been very busy over the last week or so but I hope to get this story done this week. I hope you guys are still enjoying this story and where it is going. The story will be taking a different turn in the next part so I hope you enjoy that. Thank you!

[starwarsmum]

HMB Word Darts Entry 3! A follow on from An Unfortunate Meeting

Marinette was sitting at her breakfast nook in her apartment and wishing she was still in bed. She had stayed up far too late working on a commission but had promised to be awake for a coffee date with Alya that morning. So she had set a million alarms and forced herself out of her bed.

In spite of her waking up on time and skipping a shower, she was still pressed for time. She flew into the coffee shop, wheezing an apology as she dropped into the seat opposite one of her best friends. Alya had the nerve to laugh at her for being late and Marinette pouted at her.

“Girl, I don't understand how you can be late every time,” Alya laughed, shaking her head even as someone brought their regular coffee order over with a plate of cookies. “Anyway, care to explain why I got a notification that you were in the American news last month?”

“Because there were animals being mistreated?” Marinette replied innocently. When Alya gave her an unamused look, she threw her hands up in exasperation. “I don't know, okay? All I did was team up with an activist in the states who turned out to have a little more power to his name.”

“Yeah, that's another thing; since when do you know Damian Wayne? I can't believe you collaborated with him to take down a LexCorp laboratory!” Alya semi-shrieked in awe. “Like, girl, when you get into something, you properly get into something. What's your next activist plan, and can I be the one to break the story?”

“Als, I don't go out looking for horrendously treated animals, I just deal with them if I come across it,” Marinette replied, shaking her head before downing half of her coffee. “And I met Damian through my friend Conner, whose little brother is best friends with Damian.” 

“Wait, you're telling me you also met Jonathan Kent?!” Marinette shushed her friend, flapping her hands in a ‘be quiet’ gesture. “Did you meet Clark and Lois too? How could you not tell me any of this?”

“Um, I told you I was going to stay at the Kent's house? I'm pretty sure I told you that I was staying with my friend, Conner Kent and his family. And why do you care who their parents are?”

“Um, because they are literally my heroes? The most important journalists to ever walk this earth and a power couple to rival all others? They are everything I aspire to be, and you didn't even mention that you knew them!”

“Okay, I'm sorry,” Marinette said, holding out the plate of cookies to her as a peace offering. “Anyway, it wasn't a big thing, I was an afterthought in that article and you know it. If Damian hadn't been involved it would have blown over and no newspaper would have touched the story.”

“Fine, but if you keep me out of the loop of another story, we are having words,” Alya said severely. “Besides, that's not why I asked you to meet up today! I was talking to one of the guys in the office - he's pretty cute - and it turns out his parents also bake. I know you kind of haven't been on a date in a while but I showed him your picture and he was very interested in getting to know you. So, can I give him your number?”

“Oh, um, well, the thing is-”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you have been out of the dating game for too long and I refuse to let it slide any longer,” Alya interrupted, frowning at her best friend. “I think your last real relationship was with Adrien, and that was well over two years ago. Why are you so against giving anyone I suggest a chance?”

“It's not like I don't want to give them a chance, Alya,” Marinette said, frustrated and annoyed. “And I have given people you suggest a chance before. But I'm tired of trying out whatever guy you decide suits me. Why can't I just wait to meet the right guy at the right time?”

“You're right,” Alya said, sounding subdued. “I'm sorry, Mari, I just know how much of a romantic you are and I want you to be happy. But I promise, this guy is really nice and he’s easy on the eyes too! Not much taller than you, blond and a pair of beautiful blue eyes.”

“Thanks, but no thanks, Als. I've been thinking a lot about heading stateside and my friends there said they would happily put me up for a while, so I could get my feet under me.” Marinette's phone buzzed at an incoming message and she glanced down and smiled when she saw it was from Damian. Their- friendship?- had really taken off, chatting regularly and discussing anything and everything.

“Wow, that's a big move,” Alya mused. She took a sip of her coffee before setting it down. “Think you'll team up with Gotham's Ice Prince for another newsworthy escapade?” 

“I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I don't plan these things,” Marinette said fondly. “Besides, I'm sure Damian's busy running the animal charities division at Wayne Enterprises.”

“Marinette, I was obviously joking,” Alya said, sounding exasperated. At Marinette's confused look, she elaborated. “Look, whatever fluke made him friendly enough to get through a takedown of a LexCorp lab isn't likely to happen again. Everyone knows that Damian Wayne has a shitty attitude and generally dislikes people. His temper is legendary.”

“Oh, yeah, well, believe it or not, I think his temper tantrums are kind of cute,” Marinette said jokingly, blushing. Alya rolled her eyes over the rim of her coffee mug.

“Haha, sure, the girl who got the biggest crush I've ever seen on a guy because he gave her an umbrella in a freaking storm is now head over heels for a guy who routinely calls women who try to speak to him ‘harlots’. He's got a pretty face but he's nasty.”

“...you know, he's really not that bad,” Marinette hedged, wincing at the disbelieving look Alya shot her. “Okay, in my defence, I thought he was a jerk too but everyone's always telling me I jump to conclusions too quickly when meeting people. And after I actually spent some time with him…”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, tell me you're not pining after Gotham's most notorious jerk,” Alya pleaded, gripping her mug tightly. “You do realise that he's famous for not dating and eviscerates anyone who approaches him romantically, right?”

“I haven't even said anything,” Marinette protested, although she couldn't look her friend in the eye. Alya groaned and removed her glasses so that she could pinch the bridge of her nose more easily. Marinette sniffed. “You could have a little faith that I could charm him.”

“I think you just like falling for the least attainable guys,” Alya sighed, shooting Marinette a sympathetic - but frustrated - glance. “But this time I think you're shooting a little too high. Not that that's ever stopped you before and you won't consider anyone else in the meantime. I'll just have to tell Pierre that you're planning to leave Paris.”

“I mean, you wouldn't be in this position if you weren't trying to pimp me out to your work friends,” Marinette said in a wounded voice. “And just so you know, Damian and I get along fine. We met poorly but after that we've been chatting pretty regularly.”

“Whatever you say,” Alya said before moving the conversation along. Marinette let out a breath of relief and pushed away thoughts of the American vigilante.

Part 3

[consumerofshorthomies]

I was talking to my friend yesterday, and Trump came up, and I keep forgetting that even though my friends are gay, my two closest friends support Trump. it's funny, cuz last time I talked about him with my best friend, they were talking about how project 2025 was exaggerated by liberals and that trump wasn't gonna do anything bad for peoples rights and how he's just gonna make sure the american economy doesn't crash. that was two months ago. I was talking with my other friend, and trump came up because I was doing a goofy impression of him, and I was like "bro, I can't believe that he is literally getting rid of trans peoples rights" and she just was like "lol, as if he would do that! I think he's a pretty good perso-" I had to put down my knife (I was showing her my newest knife) and tell her about how he has gotten rid of the right to not be discriminated against. she laughed. I explained to her in very clear words that queer people will die. trans people will die. lgbtq will be suppressed and every single queer american I know, is scared. I'm scared and I'm not even american.

[pikaclerc]

ALPINE WHEN I CATCH YOU (Let's talk about Jack Doohan)

This is not something I've talked about online a lot but I'm a massive Jack Doohan fan. He's the driver I've most actively supported in F2 so you can probably guess I was over the moon when he got the Alpine seat last summer. You can also probably guess how I'm feeling right now (if not, the title gave it away).

If anyone is not caught up, let me give you a summary: There's been a few rumors going around that Jack might not make it to the end of the season with Alpine. Most of these were fueled by the connection Hitech has to Alpine and the positive comments that were being made by team members about Paul Aron and a supposed interest in signing Colapinto. These rumors just gained a new life today when Colapinto was effectively confirmed as a reserve driver for Alpine in 2025 with a multi year contract. In addition, there's been reports that Jack has a deadline: he has 5/6 races to show results or he's out. Given Alpine in the past 2 days signed 2 new reserve drivers in addition to Paul Aron plus Briatore straight up not denying a possible lineup change in 2025, the rumor Jack might be at risk of losing his seat very early in the season seems to no longer be a rumor but a fact.

F1 is a ruthless sport, we all know this, we don't lack examples from recent years but this is beyond being ruthless, in my opinion. This is not even giving Jack a shot at proving he deserves the seat Alpine gave him. Even worse, the only ones who seem to be questioning if Jack deserves the seat is Alpine themselves when the most impactful thing that Jack has done since they signed him is race for them in F1 once and doing what any reasonable F1 watcher would have expected him to do.

Jack's a rookie. No matter how good you are, no matter how much of a monster season you have as a rookie, you're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna have the pressure of being a rookie on you constantly. Jack has also the added difficult task of driving for Alpine which is an unstable team to say the least (sorry Alpine you've made progress but you know this is true) and he wasn't racing regularly at all last season. Putting an unreasonable deadline on him of maybe only 5 races is creating the perfect recipe for disaster which at this point seems like is exactly what Alpine wants.

With Paul Aron and the Hitech connection, with Hirakawa joining and with Franco on a multi year deal it's getting hard to imagine what can Jack possibly do to change Alpine's mind. What kind of results does Alpine expect from him and are those expectations even reasonable in the first place given the fact Jack, at best, will be driving a middle of the table car?

Maybe I'm being too pessimistic but I find it hard to believe Alpine hasn't made up its mind yet. Franco is more profitable and experienced at the end of the day and Paul Aron is also a talented driver who Oakes would definitely like to see make it to the team. I doubt Hirakawa has as good of a shot as these two but hey since Alpine's opinion of their own drivers seems to do a 180 in just a month, who knows?

What annoys me the most is why have they already given up on Jack? They can't reasonably say Colapinto or Aron are miles better than him. It's very hard to compare Franco and Jack, given Franco's little time in F2 and Jack's ONE race in F1. Jack and Paul's stats in F2 are INSANELY similar.

Jack's a good driver and it's not impossible that he could reach good results in his first few races but I doubt anything he does will be good enough for Alpine. His best shot at still having a chance in F1 will be for things to, ironically, go down similarly to how they did with Franco and he's able to impress other teams who'll keep an eye on him.

Alpine will end up with a talented driver on that seat but this situation will hurt them. It's unnecessary instability impacting an already fragile team and equally unnecessary damage to their academy project (which has probably already taken a dumb hit with Victor Martins just vanishing from any F1 conversations despite being a F3 champion and a F2 driver). They seem to be the latest hot team for rookies to join but when in just one season out of Jack Doohan, Franco Colapinto and Paul Aron they'll likely mismanage 2 out of 3 of these drivers, their reputation will take a hit and Hirakawa likely not being included in these conversations at all won't be a great look either.

Jack is the one I feel for though and if I'm right and Alpine has already made a decision, letting Jack stay for a few races just feels cruel and it's denying him a chance of finding another seat in another category so he doesn't spend basically 2 years of his career in a row not racing. Alpine has every right to do what they think is best for their team but I can't understand how giving up on a driver from their academy when they have not even given themselves enough time to figure out if whatever concerns they may have are justified can possibly be the best for their team.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Daughter of the Rain and Snow

Concept: Around ten years after the events of Crooked Kingdom, 25-year-old Captain Inej Ghafa frees Maya Olsen from a pleasure house in Ketterdam. Maya is looking for revenge against the man who put her in her position, a man who she knows nothing about except his name: Kaz Brekker.

Tags: @wraith--2 @lunarthecorvus @just2bubbly @real-fragments7 @cartoon-clifford @origami-butterfly @lady-a-stuff @thelibraryofalexandriastillburns @inej-ghafa-deserves-the-world @thatdelusionalnerd

If anyone wants to be added let me know :)

Content Warnings: in more general terms I want to remind people to be aware of the nature of Kaz and Inej's experiences and relationship since even if I'm not directly addressing these things they tend to be implicit in any writing about them, but specifically to this chapter there's ptsd references, anxiety, violence references, blood, wounds, and fear of losing loved ones

Note: Oh my goodness we only have the epilogue left to go... this is insane I can't believe we've reached the end

AO3 link: Daughter of the Rain and Snow - Chapter 145 - She_posts_nerdy_stuff - Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo [Archive of Our Own]

Chapter 144 - Kaz

At least the Crow Club was back in working order. Beyond that things weren’t looking at their best. Kaz knew from Anika and Pim’s reports that the damage was mostly repaired and they’d reopened the closed wing a few months ago, but he also knew from the income reports Yara had been sending him  that they’d taken a hit. Her projections looked sunnier for next month, but Kaz wasn’t feeling particularly confident. There was a nervous energy about the Slat when he walked in, still as rowdy as it usually was in these early hours of the morning but with a slightly frantic edge. Kaz had known his extended absence would take a toll, but he’d tried to keep in control of what he could. 

“I assume there are rumours going round about -”

“Your mysterious disappearance? Yeah,” said Anika, “We’re treading water trynna cover up for you being missing,”

“Anyone get wise?”

“To the fact you weren’t here or to what you were actually up to?”

Kaz shot her an unamused glare. Clearly he needed to stop telling Anika up to 50% of the truth, because she was getting too good at picking up what the rest of it was. 

“I don’t think so,” she said, “Not with any proof you weren’t around. Few people here and there are convinced you’re dead,”

That didn’t particularly surprise him.

“Any attempts at territory grabs since you last wrote?”

“Liddies are still riled up, but nothing new except a pretty hollow looking threat from Black Tips,”

Kaz sighed. They weren’t staying in Ketterdam for long, he’d have to get through work quickly and make a few choice appearances if he could spare the time.

As far as Kaz and Inej knew, the plan was for them to drop in on Jesper and Wylan for the afternoon, then go to the house overnight whilst Nina stayed on the Geldstradt. They didn’t have the space to have her at the house by the harbour - especially when Alyssa was staying with them too - and anyway she would only be kept up all night by Sadja. But apparently Jesper and Wylan had other plans, as soon as they were through the door it was all but a demand they at least stay there the first night. They’d even set up a room for Alyssa upstairs, so she was close if Inej or Sadja needed her.

“How are you feeling?” Kaz had asked, watching Inej’s hand find the railing on the porch of the Hendriks house.

“I’m fine,”

Kaz shook his head, looking down at Sadja.

“Once you can talk I’m going to teach you to shout at your Mama every time she says that,” he told her, gently readjusting the sling in hopes of helping her settle.

Nina laughed.

Sadja had done well on the boat, Kaz thought, for a stubborn two month old who had never travelled further than the Grand Palace until a couple of weeks ago, but she hadn’t slept well last night and still didn’t seem to be interested in sleeping now.

“Kaz, really,” said Inej, shaking her head, “I’m okay. I’m just tired,”

Kaz nodded, but he and Nina had shared a brief glance. Inej rang the doorbell and Sadja immediately jutted out her bottom lip in indignation; for a moment Kaz thought she was going to cry but she settled again, still looking a little grumpy. He readjusted his cane so that he could remain balanced whilst he offered her his finger, and once she’d acknowledged it he gently rubbed his hand up and down her tiny tummy.

“Do you not like doorbells, Sadja?”

“I think it’s quite normal for babies not to like loud noises, Kaz,” said Nina, peering over the sling, “You’re okay, aren’t you Sadja? You’re a brave little muffin,”

“Brave little muffin?” asked Kaz.

“Hey, that is just about the highest compliment I’ve ever given anyone,”

“Well, you are brave aren’t you Sadja? You’re just like your Mama,”

She wriggled a little in the sling, as though she was trying to look up at him properly, and smiled. Kaz glowed. 

The door had barely been opened when they were met by the practically shouted words:

“Where’s my niece?”

“Well, hello to you too, Jesper,” said Inej, sharing his soft laugh.

She leaned into the arm he offered and he kissed her on the cheek, ushering her over the doorstep. Kaz followed, nodding at Jesper.

“Saints, I’ve missed you,” said Jesper, hugging Inej again.

“Oh, I’ve missed you too,”

Nina cleared her throat, glaring teasingly at Jesper. He threw an arm around her shoulders.

“I’ve missed you too, darling, obviously. And I guess I missed you Kaz,”

“Always with the compliments,”

Where’s Wylan?” asked Inej.

“Couldn’t get out of a meeting,” Jesper replied, shaking his head, “He won’t be long. Now, where’s this little Sadja you’ve been withholding from me?”

“Withholding-? She’s only been alive two months - and you were in Novyi Zem for one and a half of them,”

“Withholding,” Jesper repeated

Inej laughed. Kaz gently scooped Sadja out of her sling and into his arms, rocking her for a moment before he passed her to Inej so Jesper could lean over and greet her. He looked like he was about to burst with glee.

“Oh my goodness, you two she’s so beautiful. Aren’t you? Yes you are, yes you are,”

Jesper looked up at Kaz and Inej, grinning.

“She’s wonderful,”

“She most certainly is,” Kaz smiled, pushing the door to behind him before they walked together towards the living room, “It’s good to see you, Jes,”

“You too. And honestly you with a baby is quite possibly both the funniest and cutest thing I have ever seen, so thank you for that,”

Nina snorted. Kaz glared at them both. 

“And how are you?” Jesper had asked Inej, as they sat on the sofa together.

It was about twenty minutes later and Wylan had just got back, all apologies for being late and overjoyed to see them all again. He was now sitting in between Inej and Kiada with Sadja in his arms, smiling.

“Well, I haven’t slept in about two months,” Inej smiled, leaning her head onto Jesper’s shoulder, “But other than that I’m doing pretty well. How are you? - How was Novyi Zem?”

“I’m good, we’re all pretty good at the minute, actually. And Novyi Zem was lovely, good to see my Da, and everyone did a very good job,” he squeezed Aimee’s hand lightly, from where she was perching on the arm of the sofa next to him, “There were a few moments where we thought we’d have to come home early - that was always in the plan as an option, if anyone needed it - but we ended up staying the whole time,”

“How’s Colm?” asked Nina, leaning forwards to pick her coffee up from the table.

The conversation floated on, and Kaz had drifted in and out of paying attention to it as he kept his eyes on Sadja. She started wriggling uncomfortably and Wylan passed her back to Inej, then a moment passed before she started crying. 

“Is she alright?” asked Kaz.

“She’s just hungry,” said Inej, looking at Kaz in a way that meant calm down, she’s a baby, she’s going to cry, you do not need to worry as she stood up and gently rocked Sadja against her chest, whispering to her in Suli, “I’ll take her upstairs,”

At some point, Kaz wasn’t exactly sure how long it had been, it was only him, Nina, and Jesper still sitting in the living room. Focus had switched freely: the trip to Novyi Zem - two weeks with Colm followed by a month and a half through in Weddle and Shriftport, then another two weeks with Colm - Kiada had struggled with the boat, Aimee had struggled on the farm, Kiada has struggled in Weddle; news on the Ravkans and their new little prince and princess, twins about three months older than Sadja; Clemmie Boscht had started renting an apartment in the city and came to the house to share roast dinner with the family once a month; updates on something Kaz had forgotten to pay attention to as he was wondering how long Inej and Sadja had been gone and if he should go upstairs to find them. Now Nina was asking about wedding plans - the original date should have been last month, but it hadn’t been set in stone when Kaz and Inej first went to Ravka so Jesper and Wylan had decided to postpone and visit Jesper’s father instead of him coming out to them. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jesper was saying, “Nothing will ever make up for the fact that Kaz Brekker got married before I did,”

Nina flopped against the back cushions of the sofa.

“Yeah, it’s a real blow to the ego isn’t it?”

“Aren’t you two just the height of comedy?” said Kaz drily.

“To be fair, Jes,” Nina added, “I think we were all surprised you weren’t the first to get married. I mean how long had you two known each other before you moved in, two months?”

“No, well I really only joke,” said Jesper, glancing briefly at the door and lowering his voice, “Wylan told me ages ago he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to get married, after everything with his parents he just kinda… lost faith in it,”

Jesper had told Kaz about it at the time. It was years ago, around the time of the Van Eck trial, and Wylan was having an unsurprisingly bad time of it. He said he’d burst into tears and told Jesper that it had been evil of him to trap him in a relationship that would never go anywhere, and that he could leave if he wanted to and Wylan would understand. Apparently Jesper had stared at him for almost a full minute, and then said:

“Wy, you’re seventeen,”

“Well, clearly,” Kaz had said, “You handled that well,”

“I helped him afterwards!” Jepser had cried defensively, “That was just my first thought,”

Now Kaz sat behind his desk at the Slat, flicking through the endless pile of papers laying in wait and watching the hands move on his timepiece. Almost five bells. He wanted to be back by six.

Sadja had woken up not long before three bells, screaming loud enough to bring the entire house down. Kaz fumbled in the dark, searching for his cane, before Inej turned on the gas lights and handed it to him, smiling and shaking her head. They sat next to each other on the side of the mattress as Sadja nursed, and for about half an hour afterwards Kaz was still rocking her slowly whilst Inej lowered the lights and lay back down. Sadja seemed on the verge of settling back to sleep and Kaz stood to return her to the cradle next to the bed, only for her to immediately start wailing again.

“Well I hope you’re not still hungry,” he said softly in Suli, giving her a gente bounce “I think Mama’s asleep,”

She flailed one of her tiny fists into the air and it whacked lightly against Kaz’s chest.

“Not bad form,” he told her, “But you need more strength behind it if you want to do real damage. We’ll work on that when you’re older. What can we do to help you sleep now though, hm?”

Sadja wriggled in his arm and Kaz moved to sit on one of the armchairs so he could set down his cane and support her more comfortably. 

“I don’t have anything new to read to you,” he said, “But I could tell you a story if you’d like,”

There was a pause broken only by Sadja’s impatient cries, before Inej’s soft voice came from the darkness on the other side of the room:

“You know the whole idea of us using one language each with her whilst she's still learning kind of depends on you speaking to her in Kerch, right?”

Kaz looked up.

“Inej? I thought you were asleep,”

“Kaz, if you think anyone could fall asleep through this then I have serious concerns about your hearing. And, again, you’re supposed to speak in Kerch,”

“I’m still not convinced that’s going to work,” he replied, “Isn’t she just going to hear us using both with each other anyway?”

Inej groaned.

“It’s three in the morning, Kaz, can we talk about this later?”

He laughed softly, nodding though he wasn’t sure if she’d see in the dark. He’d known that he needed to go to the Slat - the last word from Anika and Pim had been concerningly vague -  but he could stay here a little while yet, couldn’t he? What harm would it do, just to stay here for a little longer? He sighed.

“You need to go, don’t you?”

He didn’t know how she did that.

“It can wait until tomorrow,”

“You can’t,” said Inej, quietly, “Go on. I’ll get her settled, just don’t be long, okay?”

“Never,”

He really needed to stop watching the clock, or he wouldn’t get anything done and have to bully himself into staying longer. It was a good while past five bells when he left, ignoring the shouts for attention that followed him from the crowd. The Hendriks house was mostly still sleeping, though Wylan was unsurprisingly up and in the kitchen making coffee by the time Kaz arrived at six bells. Inej was awake but she was still upstairs, not long dressed and part way through brushing her hair when Kaz knocked softly on the door. She opened it slowly, pressing a finger to her lips as he slipped inside.

“Sadja’s asleep,”

Kaz stood over the cradle for a moment, watching her. She really was perfect. Inej appeared next to him, her arm slipping around his waist once he’d nodded confirmation. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“She already looks like you,” she whispered.

Kaz shook his head.

“She’s beautiful. That’s all you,”

Inej shook her head then, her hand finding his and slipping beneath the rim so her fingers brushed his wrist. Kaz’s heart leapt, thinking of holding her on the floor almost a year ago, a knife in her gut and her blood soaking over both of them. He swallowed and she felt him tense, starting to pull away to give him space. His fingers tightened over hers, holding her to him. 

“We’ve not…” she hesitated, “We’ve not talked about a plan for where to live. For what to do next,”

Kaz had been avoiding the conversation, because he didn’t actually know what he was going to say. But it was a year ago when he couldn’t tell her everything he’d thought he should be able to say by now - 

Their happiness, together. In Kerch, in Ravka, they could move to the permafrost in Fjerda for all he cared. He would carve a life for her in the face of a mountain, if that was what she wanted.

- and so much had changed since then. He should be able to tell her that now. And he did.

Inej turned and leaned her face up towards his, glowing in the soft dancing light of dawn leaking through the window, her dark eyes shimmering. She lifted a hand up to cup his cheek, and slowly they leaned into each other. Their foreheads pressed against each other, Kaz’s hand slipped down Inej’s back, and their lips met in the warmth of spring and joy and a family that for so long Kaz had convinced himself he didn’t want, because he never thought he’d be able to find it. 

The entire world was golden.