#i can't believe i was ever friends or even good terms with ppl who liked this game......

[gu6chan]

just stumbled across my old nier playthrough videos and i can't believe i forgot how actually grating and awful emil's character is holy shit 😭

[honoviadakai]

What you favorite Hazbin hotel song says about you 😈🎶😇

(This list includes songs from the pilot as well as a few others that are not official but are near and dear to the fandom's collective heart)

I’m always chasing rainbows 🌈:

…so how’s your relationship with your parents?

You have a good heart but you’re way too hard on yourself

You don’t always have to be busting your ass off, taking breaks is not a crime

Also failing is not the end of the world

I believe in you, please be kinder to yourself

Inside of every demon is a rainbow 🌈 😈:

Golden retriever energy

You are so sweet but so naive

I honestly feel like if this is your fav song, I could spit in your meal and you'd just smile and get a new plate

It's ok to go apeshit

If you did ever get mad I genuinely feel like you'd be absolutely terrifying

But you're such a sweet person, i can't imagine someone pushing you to that point

Inside of every demon is a lost cause/Alastor's reprise 🎶👿:

You're a cynical bastard and you wear that shit like a badge of honor

You're on the same page as Alastor in terms of redemption being impossible/pointless

If this song is your favorite, you laugh at children when they fall over

very loudly

You're the one in your friend group that everyone has to warn about before introducing you to knew people

You receive the bombastic side eye so often you smile every time it happens

ADDICT🕸️🚬:

You need a hug

All of the hugs

You're doing your best and I just want you to know I'm proud of you

Vox's Interlude📺🎶:

You like Dubstep

You like Dubstep to a concerning degree

You're also disappointed Vox doesn't have the same voice effect in cannon that he has in the song

You're a Vox simp, but you're really chill about it

Royal Flush🥃♥️♠️♦️♣️:

Hello my fellow Pansexuals and Husk Fans~

If this if your favorite song, you're a Mick Lauer fan and you were sad to hear he wasn't coming back to the official series and it made you even more jaded than you already were(I feel you)

You're also a fan of Johnathan Young and Rock music

You lowkey giggle every time you hear the "every hole is a goal" line

You probably have a sever resting bitch face that scares ppl sometimes, but deep down you're a softy

A jaded softy, but a softy

Radio Play📻🎶:

Hello Alastor fans that lament the recasting of Edward Bosco

Hello Black Gyrph0n fans that think he's not receiving enough recognition

How deep in the financial debt hole are you because of your love of Alastor and new found desire to have a retro 30's aesthetic once this song dropped?

You have good taste in music but I feel like you'd say out of pocket shit on accident

You probably know how to do the Charleston pretty well and that's pretty cool

Redemption arc🙏🎶:

Hello my depressed gifted child burnouts and Elise Lovelock fans

You're a girlboss, you really are, but I need you to take more breaks and drink more water

You strike me as someone who takes the phrase "act your wage" as a suggestion at best

If over thinking was an Olympic sport, you'd win gold, silver ans bronze

stop trying to carrying other people's baggage on top of your own, that's not building character, its building more work for your therapist

Assuming you've even allowed yourself to see one!

Insane🦌🔪:

You're unhinged

like Niffty levels unhinged

but you have good taste in music

You're also a very vocal Alastor fan

You need to be watched 24/7 because you strike me as someone who'd commit war crimes for fun

Eyes on me📺🥲:

You like Techno a normal amount

you're probably a Bo Burnham fan

You also give the vibe that you like anime like Evangalion

as well as the vibe of hiding behind a chill facade even though you're kinda depressed

you also give the impression that you're into enemies to lovers and once sided pining in romance

You ship Vox x Alastor in a wholesome way and you're foaming at the mouth for their backstory

You hate Val(as you should)

Change the order 👑🪽:

You lament that Lucifer doesn't have a British accent

You HEAVILY lament Lucifer not being a heartless asshole

You oh so desperately wanna see Lucifer and Lilith in their prime/as a united power couple

You have slight daddy issues

You're also probably someone who grew up with some religious trauma

You're in your villain arc but it's mostly yo protect yourself

i highly suggest getting a dog, a rubber duck collection and a therapist

Get hooked🚬🦋:

Your search history is not suitable for human eyes

You definitely have daddy issues

You desperately wanna see Val on the poles

You're fun at partied but you cannot be left unsupervised under any circumstances

You radiate bad bitch energy but I feel like you'd apologize to a kindly janitor if you had to walk on a floor they just finished mopping

You can run in heels and I respect that immensely

Smile like you mean it😁🦌:

I get it! You love Alastor! Please lower your voice a tad friend!

It's concerning how quick you'd sell your soul to this man

You like jazz unironically(nice)

You wanna experience one of Al's radio shows

...I'm not entirely sure if you wanna hear it or be the victim...and that deeply concerns me

Use me up🕷️🥲:

You wanna see Angle Dust fuck shit up(same)

You don't make friends easily but you're the loyalest son of a bitch anyone could ever have and more people need to recognize that

You probably had a really rough childhood

You give ppl middle fingers and sass the way Oprah gave out cars back in the day

You just want a hug, someone to say they're proud of you(I'm proud of you friend) and a month long nap

We're sure to drown🐈‍⬛🥃����:

Hello again my fellow Pansexuals and Husk fans

Specifically the ones with severe depression, trust issues and think mixing Tequila and monster energy drinks will help with the abandonment issues

yeah, i see you, put the bottle down mf

get therapy, this a threat

You're so cynical that even shadow the hedgehog would ask if you're ok

asking for help doesn't make you weak fam, i get where your coming from but you need a good plucking you prickly cactus

oddly enough, you give the best advice to the few friends you keep in your circle but take none of your own advice

You listen to country rock with lyrics so sad that everyone in the car with you immediately get concerned

definitely a cat person

POP!👁️💥:

You either wanna be stepped on or do the stepping on

You probably watched Black Lagoon and loved Revy

If you don't know what I'm talking about, look her up, that's your type

Low key probably a pyromaniac

You're that one friend that's ALWAYS ready to punch your friend's ex's in the face

Honestly, I feel like you're scrappy enough to fist fight god with the confidence of someone who thinks they have a shot at winning

My machine 🐍 ⚙️:

You were really excited to see Pentious be one of the show's antagonists

You're still a little bitter about not getting your mad scientist, steam punk, snake man

You did love his War General outfit though

You probably really like shows like Arcane

You really wanted 'Enemies to lovers' CherriSnake or platonic/rivals CherriSnake

You probably have reptile as a pet

most likely a snake

Happy day in hell🎶🎤:

You're a basic Broadway bitch but your optimism is a tad infectious so I'll let it slide

You're a tad too optimistic though

Like, to a concerning degree

Someone could punch you and you'd ask them if they were ok despite having a split lip

you're definitely a workaholic

take that PTO sweetie, work will be there when you come back

Hell is forever😇😈:

you either really like Alex Brightman or you LOVE villains

you also love rock

You kicked your feet like a love sick when Adam did the guitar solo bit

Probably a fan of bands like Skillet

You have religious trauma but your coping mechanism is to crack jokes about it

some of them are probably inappropriate

Stayed gone📺🦌:

You ship Vox x Alastor a "normal" amount

You'd sell your soul for Vox and Al to have more duets together

You're probably a Vox simp

If you're not, its cuz you're an Al simp

You giggled at "That's the tea"

You also drooled at Al's demon form towards the end of the song

It starts with sorry🐍🥹:

friend, you are way too forgiving

someone could steal your life's savings and I feel like you'd just let them have it because "they probably need it more"

You were very proud of Pentious

Respectless💅📱:

You radiate chihuahua energy

You are 5'2 or smaller and 90 lbs soaking wet

someone need to make sure you don't run these streets lawless

don't get me wrong

You are absolutely a bad bitch that serves cunt like a 5 star restaurant serves gourmet steak

but you're gonna say the wrong thing to the wrong person one day

you cannot afford to fuck around and find out when they're over 5'9 my friend, sit down please

Whatever it takes🦋🩰:

you're the eldest child of your family aren't you

You don't need to prioritize everyone before yourself!

Love yourself first damn it!

You probably like Milfs or goths

You also probably wish Zestial had more songs

I have a feeling your favorite Disney movie is Encanto...

Poison🚬🕷️🥺:

Holy fuck you need a hug

You're either a survivor of some kind or life has just been kicking you in the balls for no god damn reason

Come here, I'm adopting you and making sure you're actually happy

You're low key an amazing dancer

literally one of the best people to be friends with

Loser Baby🐈‍⬛🕷️:

hello my fellow queers, Keith David fans, Blake Roman fans and Huskerdust shippers

You are a connoisseur of slow burn romance

You're probably a depressed hopeless romantic

friend, if you want the Husker to your dust...the loser to your baby...you gotta talk to people...

go touch grass

you're that one friend who bullies your bestie but that's cuz that your guy's love language

If anyone messed with your bestie, you'd fight that person to the death the way Husk and Angel did to those loan sharks

Hell's greatest dad🪽🦌:

You either beef with ppl for fun or you're a very flamboyant theater kid

Its probably both tbh

You probably fell in love with the blonde short king after this song

You ship Radioapple

you want a sitcom ft Radioapple and you'd sell your soul to get it

Your fav Disney movie is probably Aladdin

You totally play "HaHA! Fuck you..." on repeat

More than anything🪽😭:

So how's your relationship with your dad...

You cried so hard to this song that it scared you

grab the tissues, get your coziest blanket and go get your favorite treat

and some therapy

Welcome to Heaven😇🎶:

Emily is your favorite character

Your gaydar was going off when St. Peter started existing

Your a chill person

A little too chill though…

You might still be an active member of your community

Ya might wanna consider reducing your hours, there is such a thing as too much loyalty

Treat yourself to a vacation

You didn't know😧🪽:

Hello fellow black sheep of the family with severe religious trauma

You freaked the fuck out when the “If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie” line dropped

You felt so vindicated after this song and honestly, same

You LOVED Emily by the end of this song

Out for love 💗 🩰:

You like MILFs

You want Carmilla to kick/step on you

You’re either a magical girl fan, a fan of Latin music or both

You cheered so hard for Vaggie at the end you definitely got a noise complaint 🤣

Ready for this🎤⚔️:

You have anxiety

Your favorite character is probably Charlie

Your favorite movie is probably Marry Poppins or something in the same time period/genre

You’ve dealt with Karen’s before and watching Susan become tolerable was so satisfying for you

You want Alastor and Rosie to adopt you

More than anything(reprise):

You're the poster child of sappy hopeless romantics

You cried a little from joy here

You’re definitely not straight

You want this moment, go get yourself a Vaggie cuz you’re definitely gonna be the Charlie of the relationship

Finale🎶🎆:

You're the ultimate theater kid

This song hit all the sweet spots in your depressed brain for you

Let’s be honest, your favorite part of the song was either the Vees or Alastor

It’d your favorite part was with the Vees, your a huge chaos gremlin

You cannot be trusted with information but you’re very fun at parties

If your favorite part was Alastor’s part, get therapy

If you related to that part on a spiritual level, you mask so hard I’d believe you if you said you were born wearing a mask

[destinyc1020]

Austin choosing the wrong women for him

“I have some theories as to why that is. 🤐”

girl please tell I need all the theories 😅

I mean, this is just my personal observation from an outsider looking in... and as a disclaimer, I don't know him, so I could be totally wrong on all of this....

But just as a casual observer....

One, his mom died at 23, which is still relatively kind of young, and it would also have been the stage/age where a lot of women would be teaching their sons the type of woman that would be good to settle down with 🤷🏾‍♀️

Second, his parents divorced when he was really young, and even though they stayed very friendly (even living in the same house for a time), no doubt divorce takes a toll on children.

Third, his mom remarried, but apparently according to what Austin has hinted, his stepfather was pretty abusive towards his mom and quite possibly towards him and his sister as well, to the point where they had to flee like stealthy bandits to get themselves out of that toxic situation. That alone can give you a warped sense of relationships.

He's more on the shyer side, but he's also good-looking, so to me, that probably means that he maybe hasn't had to really had time to observe or chase after too many women. Most women probably easily flirt with him. And sometimes, when you just take from whatever is after you (instead of quietly observing someone first), you don't always make the right decision. 👀🥴 So he's probably not as discerning.

Idk if he knows how to be just be alone? 🤷🏾‍♀️ This is a man who was in serious long-term relationships ever since he was like 12 rofl 🤣 Sometimes when you can't be alone or just remain single for a spell, you don't always make the wisest choices in relationships.

And lastly, he seems very sweet and kind🥰, and just generally-speaking, sometimes, people who are kind get people who are not-so-great latching on to them... or people take advantage. That's even more compounded when you're a celebrity, and some ppl are just dating you for what they can get. Not saying that's specifically been HIS case, but just that it can happen to people who seem to be good-hearted people.

Those are just my personal theories. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Again, I don't know the man lol, but those would be my personal thoughts on why he might have a bad woman picker.

Some people also don't believe that they deserve better. 😔 It happens to many people. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I've seen plenty of friends (myself included!) get into relationships that really just did not serve us well. Unfortunately, it just happens sometimes!

[moistvonlipwig]

should i poke the bear and ask for cwsg for the top 3 ask game? 🥴

consider the bear poked!

top 3 favorite characters: The legendary Lena Luthor, my king from the future Querl Dox, and uhhh I'm actually not sure who's third? Could be Red Daughter, could be James, could be Nia. Could even be Eve who fascinates me despite being underwritten. IDK. Depends on my mood. ...And actually if we count him as a Supergirl character and not as a walking backdoor pilot then it might just be Clark. I do like Clarky boy.

top 3 least favorite characters: Mon-El obviously, Ben Lockwood who Manchester Black should've gotten to strangle with his bare hands, and...there are several other annoying misogynists I could list here but I'm actually going to give this spot to Overgirl because it's still so baffling to me that none of the higher-ups thought, 'hey, maybe we shouldn't make a crossover where AU versions of Supergirl and Green Arrow are actual literal Nazis.'

top 3 otps: Kara/Lena, Lena/James, Brainy/Nia

top 3 notps: Kara/Mon-El is a no-brainer, Kara/William was a flop, and I can't believe it even needs to be said but. Kara/Alex. No.

top 3 brotps: Lena & Brainy my beloved <333 And I like Lena & Sam's friendship as well. Honestly a lot of the relationships in this show are great in theory but a little thin in actual execution, but I enjoy reading fanfics where Lena is good friends with Kelly, Nia, and/or iconic queen Jess the secretary. [I wish I could give a brotp for Kara but honestly I think most of her relationships suffer greatly from how they write her character.]

top 3 favorite episodes/chapters/scenes/games in series: My favorite is definitely 4.16 "The House of L." Bonus points for epic title also, like, that's an iconic pun right there. I look fondly on 4.11 "Blood Memory" as well which I think is probably Nia's strongest outing on the show and also is an episode that actually bothers to do something interesting with the Danvers sisters relationship. And in terms of episodes that are consistently entertaining I do really enjoy a significant chunk of 5.13 "It's a Super Life" although it's tainted by the terrible ending (as well as the foreknowledge of what comes after). [You might be thinking: what about XYZ Season 2 episode? To which I sadly must respond: Mon-El.]

top 3 other things u think ppl who like this thing should watch/read/play: I'm going to refrain from recommending other Arrowverse shows because I think that's too easy. But I do think my recommendations would depend on what you liked or didn't like about the show? If you like light-hearted superhero shenanigans you should watch DC Super Hero Girls (2019-2021). If you were frustrated by the show's surface-level pop feminism then you should watch Revolutionary Girl Utena (1997). If Lena Luthor's character type fascinates you then you should watch Severance (2022-ongoing). [If you're in it for Katie McGrath I can't help you, that woman was cursed by a witch long ago to only be in the worst shows you've ever heard of.]

my rating of this media out of 3, with 0 being lowest and 3 being highest: uhhh 1? idk. it's not 0

[mbti-notes]

I'm an INTJ having a crush on an INFJ. Do you have any tips how to use my dominant Ni sharing on how to know her more/ at least be friends w her? She has a reputation amongst ppl that It's hard to know how she feels truly & what she says/ expresses doesn't necessarily express how she actually feels. Tbh, we've been "friends" for many years, but I don't even know If she actually sees me as her friend bc I heard that she struggles at trusting ppl. Thank you.

When you want to get to know someone, a tried-and-true method is to look for commonalities to bond over. It is especially important to FJs(Fe) to feel as though the both of you are on the same page emotionally and in agreement regarding important (moral) beliefs and values.

One good thing about FJs to keep in mind is they tend to be very forgiving as long as you can provide them a genuine, authentic, and humble explanation of yourself. If you help them see the situation accurately from your point of view, they'll be more willing to overlook any faults and flaws. This means you always have to be transparent and expressive enough to let them know what's really going on with you. If you leave them to guess too much, they're likely to jump to unfavorable conclusions in the absence of facts. There is a limit as to whether they can accept repeated mistakes though, because they tend to view those as lack of care and effort. I mention this point because INTJs tend to falter in relationships due to being too inexpressive or uncommunicative.

The best way to discover commonalities is through communication, so create opportunities to have substantive talks. INFJs will generally see you as a friend once they enjoy talking to you and look forward to talking to you, otherwise, you are just a person who exists like everyone else. As you probably know, Ni doms don't tend to enjoy small talk, so it's best to get to the main point and dig in to the meat of things as soon as is socially acceptable. INFJs are usually looking for meaningful conversation about topics of existential/societal/future importance. They usually like to hear new ideas that spark their creativity or broaden their perspective. They usually want someone to take an interest in what they are thinking, what they believe, and what they value... but on their terms, i.e., in ways that are respectful of personal boundaries. It might help to keep conversations abstract (non-personal) at the start because it gives you a chance to gauge their interest level and it gives them a way to gradually ease into deeper territory.

INFJs with trust issues might not be very forthcoming, so don't push them too hard when they block your advances, or else they might clam up completely. It's very important to be nonjudgmental and empathetic in order to create a safe space for them to express themselves authentically (since they fear rejection and betrayal). Be clear about your purpose/intention or else they might start to get suspicious of you. If you ever get the feeling that they are using a fake persona around you, it means they don't trust you and you have to do more to reassure them that your intentions are pure and you are a safe person to interact with. If at any point they feel as though you just can't understand them or you have been dismissive/judgmental of them, they'll start to believe talking to you isn't worthwhile and your chances of success will quickly drop to nil.

No matter the type, trust issues are a big relationship barrier. It is best to approach guarded people slowly, sensitively, patiently, and confidently. E.g.: You have to be the one to take the lead and initiate contact because they are too afraid to. You have to be the one to open up and ask more questions to keep conversations going because they are too self-involved to participate fully. You have to be the accommodating and understanding one because they cannot open up to you otherwise. You have to be the one to apologize first for relationship missteps because their social skills are too poor to handle conflict reasonably.

It doesn't sound very fun, does it? But it can be a very worthwhile and fulfilling process to help someone open up to love. That said, don't always put yourself in an unequal position of giving much more than you're getting in return. Give people plenty of chances to open up, but they have to eventually meet you halfway. When there's no willingness to meet you halfway, you might have to admit defeat and treat it as a lost cause. Remember, relationships can get very messy very quickly, so it's best to accept the fact and try to go with the flow. Venture out there, see what happens, and learn as you go. As long as you always try to act with integrity, you'll have nothing to regret.

[simpjaes]

u liking metal aswell is wild cuz as u said people who like metal usually dont fw kpop & vice versa 😭 people who cut others off cuz of the music they listen to are sooo odd i’ll never understand that!! i mean who cares cuz at the end of the day ure the one enjoying the music, not them

best believe if u yap abt ggs or female soloists again my ass will be all up in ur inbox ..

me talkin bout music n sharing songs i love:

i don't think i said ppl who like metal usually don't fuck with kpop, as i know there's a huuuuuuuuge amount of ppl who listen to both music genres but like, i was strictly into metal for a long time, and most of my friends were metal heads and met through bands i loved, i guess it could be expected when i pop out with the super junior rokkugo back in the day like "THIS MY FAVE SONG RN"

i can't tell you how many friends i lost because of the elitism when it comes to music. don't get me wrong, im egotistical as fuck when it comes to what i listen to but i also don't judge until the judgement is dropped on me lmfao. i did lose some friends even when i was still a metal whore and started my love with dir en grey. always "they're too gay" "they look like women" and "how can u even understand that?!"

those same ppl argued they preferred me when i would fixate on dir en grey rather than big bang and suju (mind you, this was a long time ago. i do not stan super junior.)

either way!!!! im a big fan of music. BIG BIG FAN OF MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!! boy groups are usually what i gravitate towards in terms of kpop but i very much enjoy girl groups too.

MUSIC SHARE TIME:

GG & SOLOIST FAVES: bad boy | sweet juice | zombie | silent night | noir | dilemma | lalalilala | not kpop but this song is saaaaaaur good, LISTEN TO IT.

BG & SOLOIST FAVES: slow dive | up | all for love | yestoday (still one of my all time faves) | don't leave me | lullaby | wild fire | opening sequence | cyber punk | moonwalker | perfume | flicker | i can keep going but you'll see how biased i am to boy groups lmfao. not included: taemin, shinee, exo, j-hope, agust d, jackson wang, dawn, pentagon, b.a.p, tvxq, kang daniel, oneus, xikers.........and im rambling

OTHER FAVES: mosaic shojo | everything is all lies | to the hellfire | shokubeni | neo ark | ruten no tou

I STAND BY THE STATEMENT THAT THESE COULD BE CONSIDERED THE BEST SONGS EVER MADE!

[itsjaywalkers]

hello laurie!! <3 insane commute nonnie here (again) omg i read oby yesterday omw to class (ended up staying at my friend's again bc his roommate was still out. sadly he's back) and i should not have done that bc OMG?? BABE I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT THEM THE WHOLE TIME UT GOT SO BAD I SAW MY PROFESSOR (he doesn't even look like james. he's just fit in a 'Hear me out guys...' way)N BLUSHED I WAS ACTUALLY GIGGLING AT RANDOM TIMES THINKING ABT THEM also like. sirius n regulus in this😭😭 regulus cursing sirius out for being a good brother is so real to me as someone with 12 year older brother bc he spent my entire childhood terrorizing me n now he's the sweetest person Ever. not even in an evil way he's just genuinely nice to me so if i ever complain abt him everyone goes ??? YOUR brother??? its so annoying (i love him). just reg veing grumpy<3 he's my fav little purse man and ok oh god never thought i'd say this. i have NEVER gotten the whole daddy thing but now im just🧍‍♂️bc i need to call james potter daddy while he fucks me what who said that also like. extreme apologies for how extremely inappropriate this might've gotten i was up all night studying for a quiz we have today (cannot catch a break w these ppl istg) n i swear my brain refuses to function and i have no idea!!! (please pray for me) also i hope you're doing great<3 sadly i do know work and adult things but im glad to know that nothing bad's going on!! you deserve the best<33 also i Absolutely get being funnier in your mother tongue sometimes i have these sudden thoughts n they're soo funny but i have to translate them which is like. okay but the vibes change istg!! i usually end texting my siblings abt it bc someone deserves to know how absolutely funny i am!! (all i do is make dad jokes) and (im actually so sorry bc ik you prob dont mind the book-long asks but its still!! so embarrassing!! like girl why are you yapping sm!!) i haven't read the 2nd part yet (i read the first part n just stared ahead blankly for like an hour after i read the 1st part. it did things to me) but im gonna read it after my quiz as a little treat<3 thank you for writing them sm!!!<3

HI BABE <333 sorry it took me so long to get back to u, life has been soooo hectic istg

AND OMG IM STILL SO SHY ABOUT U READING OBY but i'm so glad u enjoyed it and that it had the desired effect, it's definitely not the type of story u should read in class or just like . in front of ppl . i don't blame u for getting all flustered around ur professor even if he doesn't look anything like james. it's just the vibe yk??? you're literally so real for that

sirius and reg in oby are !! so important to me !! i feel like they have the best relationship in all of my fics, bc they're on good terms on nothing happens too but they argue . a lot . and they're gonna have some issues down the line. and they're also very close in the boxer au but there's still gonna be a lot of angst regarding their relationship. in oby, tho, they're just brothers <3 they love each other so much <3 and i'm so glad i'm portraying their dynamic accurately bc a lot of their convos are based on stuff me and my sisters have talked/fought about lmao

LISTENNNN I ALSO WASN'T INTO THE WHOLE DADDY THING like i didn't mind it and i read it occassionally but i didn't seek it out. but now that i'm actively writing it . well . i guess i kinda get the appeal (girl who doesn't even have a daddy kink) SO I GET U I REALLY DO

u don't have to apologiseeee i'm always happy to open horny hours especially if it's for james potter <3 and also i know it's been a few days but i hope the quiz went well and that u never do that again bc u need to rest!! i mean it!!

i'm doing quite well actually!! work's been a nightmare but apart from that i'm great!! i recently moved into a new flat with two friends and the place is soooo nice i'm in love with it i can't believe it's ours <333 AND SAMEEEE i always complain about it to my sisters or my spanish friends bc it annoys me to no end like . i'm literally soooo funny and it pains me that you'll never realise bc it's only when i speak in my first language ugh

I REALLY DON'T MIND THEM BABE IN FACT I LOVE THEM NEVER STOP and don't apologise again i'll kick ur ass!!! and god you're so very sweet to me, i hope u enjoyed/enjoy it and i'm sending u the biggest hug + forehead kissie in the world MWAH <3

[strshn]

I haven't posted in so so so long. but I promise you it's a good thing. I honestly almost forgot I had this blog lmao. things have gotten so much better! are they as good as I want them to be? of course not. but it's the best they've been literally ever. I still struggle a ton but idk. things are just so different...

my 4 year anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up. how insane is that??? I've waited and yearned and begged my whole life for love, and I am trying my best to never take it for granted, not even for a second. I am so lucky to have him by my side.

I've come out to people irl... IN. REAL. LIFE. I go by my preferred name and pronouns to my bf, my friends, I even told my mom this past weekend and it's been nothing but support. tbf I have only told people that I know will be supportive, but still. it feels amazing, and freeing in a way I could have never guessed.

I'm off my meds. all of them. have been for I think almost 2 years now. ditched therapy too. and I'm not saying it's a good thing, I do wish I had some support in the way of a therapist, and maybe some meds would make things even better but idk I've been coping on my own. somehow lol. it's hard and I get exhausted very easily and I so very much wish I could do more on a daily basis but I do what I can, and I forgive myself for not being able to do more. I praise myself for what I can accomplish, even if it's minimal. I cook, I clean, I take care of our cats. I get so tired so easily but... I'm doing more now than I ever did on meds, and frankly it's so fucking strange.

is life hard? absolutely. but I've grown and changed and things are different but also better. my bpd is almost like an afterthought? yes I still experience symptoms. but idk. it's not the same as it was. maybe because I'm happy and secure in my relationship, it's a long term commitment. I have in the back of my mind that it could still end up going terribly wrong, but I don't dwell on it like younger me probably would have. I have bad days, sure. depression isn't gonna go away. and neither will anxiety or ADHD. probably have autism too but I haven't really gotten into that rabbit hole yet.

but idk. I'm just glad to be doing okay. and not having the extreme moods like I used to. do I still hate myself and want to unalive myself from time to time? of course! but. it's more like "I'm tired and the world sucks and I'm sick of working myself to death and still not having enough money to survive can this please end already" which I think is reasonable and a lot of ppl feel that way. the world does suck. but I keep going for my cats and my boyfriend. idk it all sucks but I know there is nothing else to do.

I sleep a lot. I'm tired a lot. I have some physical ailments I need to get fixed. mentally idk. it's just a strange time for me. I'm able to just ignore my shit most of the time, or when I can't, I cry it out and take a nap and try to tell myself that I can keep going, and I will be okay. even if maybe it isn't true, I mean who knows.

I stream on twitch sometimes. I'm working on finding good friends. I'm working on officially coming out. I'm working on getting better at makeup and hair. I'm working on trying to figure out how to write again. Overall, I'm working on being exactly who I want to be. and it feels awesome.

I know this page is usually depressing. I've had a rough life and need somewhere to vent. at least this one time I can vent about how good I am beginning to feel. how good my life has turned out to be even if I still struggle a lot of days, especially financially I struggle a ton. but I'm still here and more queer than ever lol. and I'm doing all right.

I always used to see "it gets better" posts and I half wanted to believe them and half told myself it would never ever happen for me. maybe everyone else but never me... well it's happened for me. it is still happening, tbh. every day things are looking up, even the days where I feel down. it's, at the very least, not the same as it used to be. and I'll take anything over the heart-wrenching emotions I used to feel daily. the mood swings, the obsessions, the infatuations, the utter hopelessness of everyday life for me was so overwhelming. I'm glad it has toned down for me, and thing have changed. and that things are even slightly better.

I have no outlook or expectations for the future. but I think that's for the best. I have things I want to do here and now, and I'll worry about the rest later. I'm just happy I'm finally becoming who I want to be, and I'm happy I have any amount of happiness and love in my life. that's all I ever wanted, love. and I think I have it! so don't be so glum, younger me, or anyone out there reading this that can relate to how I used to think and act and feel. it will be okay. and as cliche as it is, it will get better. or at the very least, things will change with time. things will not stay the same, things will evolve and change and mutate and metamorphosize. things will change, the future will be different. and idk that just gives me hope, that I won't be stuck in one place or one feeling or one rut forever.

the future is open and a mystery, flow into it and go along with it. it will be worth it to see the world, and your self, in a different light.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[pappydaddy]

Tiktok is literally hell, most people have the worst takes for characters and completely lack common sense. Stancy is popular there bc they see two pretty people together who had history, slap a Taylor Swift song over it and call it a day. If Jancy had any screentime together we wouldn't see so many edits because people can apparently only focus on one season and disregard any other shit.

A few days ago someone commented under my anti Stancy comment that Nancy was the one who made Steve in the fan favorite character he is. Lmao yeah give all his development to his cheater ex gf who did nothing, she never begged him to change. Steve left his friends at the end of s1 bc he wanted to, granted bc he liked Nancy but still. To completely undermine his character in such a take is disgusting.

In my humble opinion Nancy never truly loved Steve, not in a way he loved her. For her he was a safety blanket, in a way he was kinda like her dad (not personality wise) but in terms of being wealthy and stable so instead of choosing Jonathan, who she always wanted she dragged Steve along for year. Steve represents the suburban life even back in s1 which she absolutely hates and Jonathan was always painted as like rebellion and adventure. I've seen tiktok comments saying oh Steve probably doesn't force her to have kids or that many, so it's fine she can live her dream and he will be a malewife. However why is that Steve is the one who has to hold back his dreams? Like yeah he wouldn't force her but that will only result in them resenting each other. It's clear he wants someone to raise those kids together with not just him alone. They just don't work so I hope the take you mentioned of him confessing to Nancy is him finally moving on he said everything he needed to let go. I'm begging at this point lol.

I still didn't like Nancy in s3, the way she treated Jonathan and their argument said more about her person than anything else. Granted both were wrong but her actions got never any repercussions, instead Jonathan was the one apologizing to her and she was like yeah now never doubt anything I say or do bc I'm never wrong. She can't own her mistakes and the show never addresses it. I like mean women but if there are never any consequences to her actions it's infuriating. Steve never got an apology from her after she cheated and still believes he's the worst bf ever but that's okay bc Nancy is our girlboss with guns.

The best outcome for those three characters would be anyone stay single. Stancy is toxic af, and Steve deserves better. Nancy deserves her career and Jonathan deserves someone who doesn't emotionally cheat as soon as he's not there.

Back to tiktok and their takes, I've seen so many people now saying if Stancy isn't endgame bc it's not going to be they kill Steve off. In fact I've seen ppl beg for it to happen and I'm sick to my stomach. Why doesn't he deserve a happy ending just bc his ex doesn't take him back. Steve dying would impact so many people, especially Dustin it would be cruel of the writers to take away Dustin's other big brother figure. And Robin losing the only person who truly understands her??? How is that fair. The fandom focuses way too much on ships than on the actual characters. I'm just saying how can you ship Stancy and claim to love Steve?

I'm so scared for s5 bc after what they did in vol2 I don't trust them. I love Steve sm as you can probably tell lol, he's like top3 of fictional boyfriends for me and him potentially not getting a happy end or dying for his toxic ex is making me ill. I just want him to live, find a girl or guy whatever to have his big family in the future. He deserves it sm, like I know the show doesn't address his trauma, physical or emotional, but he gave so much for this group and to just die it's not fair.

Obx anon

Ps I'm so sorry for not checking in more regularly life is crazy lol, I hope you're doing good ❤️

ugh, i know! tik tok is pretty bad sometimes, though not quite as bad as twitter yet. they claim that general flaws are toxic, but yet, they are supporting/shipping stancy? make it make sense.

nancy and jonathan's fight in season 3 kinda shows how privileged nancy has been all her life compared to jonathan. she jumped head first into this hunch because she wasn't scared of getting fired. she never once considered how much work jonathan had to put in just to get that job and he wasn't going to lose it over a hunch because that could ruin jonathan's future. they were both at fault in a way, so they both should have recognized their roles. this is exactly what i mean when i say the writers seem to want us to hate nancy because they do shit like what happened in season 4 and what is listed above.

i want nancy to grow as a character and i think that can only be done by her being single and exploring herself. and, whatever they do, not have stancy get back together. their dynamic in season 4 literally made me almost physically sick. hopefully, that was just a repercussion of the upside-down being stuck in 1983 and season 5 will not have this horrible content.

and, back to tik tok, they were all just saying that if steve was killed off they wouldn't watch it anymore? like make up your mind, please?

and, to your last point, that's okay lovely! i love how you back me up with really good points when i post rants like this! and don't i know life is crazy! but i'm surviving and keeping afloat, how about you?

[kendrixtermina]

I think Wilhelm was a False Friend to Rhea. He played the part of the supportive friend to her face to get her help in overthrowing Nemesis and becoming the ruler of Fódlan, but privately saw her as just a monster. He wanted to get rid of her himself, but never got the opportunity during his lifetime. The royal family being taught a version of history that blames everything on the Nabateans came from his view on them, even though he got all the political power from the war.

There is no way to know what actually happened, so a lot of things are plausible/possible, but from that one line that Rhea gets describing him in the tailteen plains battle it sounds like he was a true believer much like Catherine or pre-fiasco Jeralt. For Rhea to fondly remember a human she met so shortly after the massacre they must've been on good terms.

She could've been fooled of course & despite her not trusting anyone(her own words) she's plainly not good at playing detective seeing as she missed all the moles at Garreg Magh, so it's not implausible.

But Rhea's the only one who knew the real Wilhelm in his own time. His descendants would only have stories that they'd be interpreting through their own lens; If you see the need to explain a discrepancy there it seems more likely to find the explanation in the 1000 years in between, where any number of things could happen.

The change in perspective could have literally happened any time between Wilhelm's time & Ionius. If you want to postulate a drastic reinterpretation, The expulsion of the sourthern church 100 years before seems a more likely candidate.

However the Nabateans were a ruling class before Nemesis' (that was unambiguously stated by the devs in an interview) massacre.

However, once we move from Wilhem's own person to how whatever he did or didn't pass on might affect his descendants in the present, I'd like to remind you that Edelgard combed through the monastery archieves in search of additional evidence before declaring anything to Byleth, looking to corroborate the story, and that she takes a pretty dim view of her ancestors, seeing them as sellouts.

She is not at all just following what she may or may not have heard.

And do you even need to be told some tale to come to the conclusion that Rhea is a bad ruler? Is it not obvious from her behavior?

I really hate this tendency to take all the agency away from Edelgard & act like she is just following something someone told her - she is portrayed by the actual game as someone who is all about self-directedness & proactivity, humanism and logic, who, if anything errs on the side of being too logical & detached/looking only at the numbers. She gets like all the tropey spock dialogue like "Mathematically it's possible"

...and yet some ppl seem incapable of seeing her as anything else than misguided & lashing out blindly, & the way it so crassly contradicts her actual in-game characterization so blatantly is hard to explain by anything than the common prejudices that 'young people can't know what they're talking about' and 'women lash out emotionally'/ 'women are reacting victims'

I honestly hate it more than the ppl who just see her as deliberately evil/megalomanic cause at least that still acknowledges her as making decisions.

People don't just have opinions because somebody tells them to have them - how would new opinions ever get started this way?

You can see that Rhea is, if not a tyrant, then at least a grossly negligent incompetent ruler just by playing White Clouds with open eyes and ears.

& it's not just Edelgard who thinks that.

Rhea herself says she is the de-facto ruler ("I have only been ruling this wayward land in your stead")

Claude blames the church for the state of fodlan, he just takes it over via intrigue & manipulation cause that is what makes sense for his skillset, principles and the alliance's political situation.

In White Clouds alone you put down several rebellions. Rhea's regime is just objectively inefficient & unpopular; Edelgard is just a rebel who happens to have a lot of funds and soldiers at her disposal; It was kind of inevitable that one would eventually arise with such widespread levels of dissatisfaction.

& if we want to talk about who she blames most of her rhetorical vitriol is on the human collaborators, the nobles.

But she's not really driven by "blame" or "hate" - to the point where she'll consider an alliance of convenience with her most hated enemies (delaying/suppressing her feelings rather than indulgently following them) & is usually content with just jailing or dethroning even her worst enemies.

Which isn't to say that Edelgard is always perfectly rational or never affected by her negative experiences - this shows in her secretiveness for example or her categorical refusal to be captured alive; But that doesn't mean she's completely incapable of making any logical decision whatsover.

Perfect objectivity is no more achievable than, say, perfect love or perfect justice, but that doesn't mean that anyone who genuinely tries hard to pursue it in a self-aware manner is instantly a hypocrite the moment they don't 100% live up to it.

You can certainly fault anyone who just claims they have it all figured out & can never be questioned, but that's not at all what Edelgard does - all her supports show her as someone who questions herself a lot & is always willing to learn from others & this is honestly one of my favorite traits of hers.

[golbrocklovely]

CONSPIRACY THEORY ! ( please don’t hate on me, it’s just my own observation, based on what I went through):

I don’t think Colby is 100% straight. I feel like there is a chance of him being bi or pansexual. I say it because first of all I didn’t saw him saying he is straight… if i missed something then sorry. All I remember is him saying that he didn’t have any “gay experience”. Which alone doesn’t say anything about his sexuality. He just said that he never done anything with a male. Second of all: I have been thinking about it lately, how Colby mostly got called out for “queerbaiting” and while i think that what he was doing with the whole BROLBY was 10000% wrong , because obviously he and B only did that for money and attention and I am mad at him for that Hovewer I do not think that all his actions could be queerbaiting. Because those “jokes” he made towards his male friends came up from him naturally. With Sam ofc it could just be their long term friendship, so they just can feel 1000% comfortable with literally anything. But Colby been acting like this not only around Sam and the fact is, he never stopped. He just slowed down a little bit.

I say it because recently i saw some person on one of social media accounts who said that they are no longer snc fans, because of never stopping gueerbaiting. But what if they do not? What if Colby is not doing it for attention, but because he ain’t 100% straight? I remember when i was finding out who i am. And guess what? I was acting almost the same way as Colby. And later on i found out that I am not really as straight as i thought. That i am in fact bisexual.

I feel like accusing them of queerbaiting just because they made some joke towards the same gender, when we don’t know what is going really in their heads is kinda rude. Only we ourselves know what we feel. Or sometimes even we ourselves don’t know ourselves as much as we thought ( read : me).

I mean whatever they are its not my business. And i do not like them for their sexuality. It’s jusf my own observation, but even if i would be somehow right, then I doubt he would ever admit it to a public ( or at least not in the nearest future).

colby said in his deep q&a back in dec. 2019 that he was straight and only liked girls.

personally, and this is just how i feel about the alphabet mafia since i am one too, i think there are a lot of gay ppl that say they want straight ppl to see us and what we do as normal, or maybe to not label us at all. we want straight ppl to understand that gender is a construct and that you're not less of a man if you wear a skirt or less of a woman if you act more "masculine", and that doing either of those things doesn't effect who you are attracted to sexually. we want all of that, but the moment someone starts following what we said, and they claim to be straight, we immediately think they're lying or that in actuality they're secretly gay in some way.

i'm not saying you're doing that. i'm just saying this as someone who was closeted for years but had very out and proud gay friends. it's strange to me how we want straight ppl to see what we do as normal but the moment they start to adapt or act like us, we can't possibly believe they are straight.

like back when i was closeted, me and my ex best friend were really into this show called "queer as folk". she is/was bi and she never understood why i liked the show if i was straight. and i told her that i liked it just bc it was a good show and i thought it was interesting to see the early 2000s but from a queer prospective. then when i came out a couple years later, she was like "omg it makes so much more sense why you like all this gay stuff". which…… ngl, was embarrassing to hear her say.

also as a slight tangent, and not at all related to your ask, both her and another friend of ours said it was "uncomfortable" that i liked drag queens and drag race. mind you, i wasn't sexualizing or doing anything weird about drag queens. i literally would just watch drag race occasionally and talk about certain queens i liked. but neither one of them liked the idea of me liking drag queens and wanted me to explain to them why i liked them…… i was like "yall do realize i'm a theater kid right? it's basically theater, but just one person doing it." not to mention i've always wanted to be a performer, and it's just cool so like, why do i have to explain why i like it other than that??? i had a very weird friend group in hs that were all on tumblr back in 2010s, so if you understand where i'm coming from, you know sometimes it was really hard to be around them sometimes lol but anyways, i digress.

back to your ask: personally, i think colby is just comfortable with himself and his guy friends. i think him being comfortable in his sexuality and not being afraid to do "girly" things or act flirty with his guy friends is an attractive part of his personality. the gaybaiting he used to do back in the day was bad, that's for sure. he has apologized, removed, and stopped doing all the things that related to gaybaiting. but i understand it's not my apology to accept. i just don't see how he's still doing it tho. i'm a bit confused bc i haven't seen anything that would make me think he's pretending to be gay in some compacity in the hopes of benefitting and profiting off of us.

i think colby has just slowly grown more comfortable with himself. maybe that means later down the line he's not completely straight. maybe that means he realizes he is straight, but is fine flirting with his guy friends bc he's comfortable with them and himself and his sexuality. if colby was outright flirting with gay guys, but then being repulsed that they flirted back, then i would get thinking he's gaybaiting or is doing something wrong. but he doesn't do that.

at the end of the day, whether he's straight or bi or whatever, i just hope he's happy.

[crossdressingdeath]

I know you'll probably disagree with me, but i rlly hate the Cloud recessess ending. It's just....

Those elders killed wwx. The Lans were 100% ready to murder both at Qiongqi path but also at the siege. They see him as the guy who corrupted their precious jade. They all preach righteousness, but the whole madam Lan thing is iffy at best and i do not believe that everyone there fully believes the rules. Hell, i have a special bone to pick with the " do not gossip" rule, seeing as gossip had been the main info route for women in patriarchal societies.

I just don't think that after wwx killed Lans in the siege they'd be all that willing to forgive him and take him in w open arms. The juniors and kids love him, yes, but people who saw the war....

Not to mention the whole " do not speak to WWX " rule. I've seen ppl say it's a joke but it's On The Wall. It's supposed to be followed. Even if it was intended as a joke - which i don't believe - it's very cruel for someone w rejection and trust issues.

I also hate it from a very personal perspective. I see Wwx as ND, and, as an ND myself, all those rules terrify me. From the no running and the proper posture ones, i can pretty well imagine they forbid stimming. The Lan curfew would fuck anyone with insomnia and there's smth deeply ucked up abt the " do not grieve in excess". I get that they're supossed to be a paragon of the best things at all time, and that LJY is very UnLan like, but for someone w anxiety who CAN'T follow those rules, it would be a nightmare.

...Some points:

First, the Lan elders did not kill WWX, nor did they attack him unfairly. They weren’t looking at him as the man who corrupted LWJ, either, or at least that wasn’t their primary concern (I will never forgive CQL for suggesting they were or it was); they were looking at him as a traitor to the sects who was raising an army to destroy them. Remember, that is the information the Lans had. Every source they had except for LWJ (who the people he would have gone to would have known was biased and who presumably everyone knew had recently been in close contact with WWX where he could have been manipulated or enchanted in some way), sources which included multiple sect leaders (one of whom was WWX’s brother) and LXC’s dear friend, swore up and down that WWX was a major threat, and let’s face it, WWX didn’t do much to dissuade people from thinking that! Acting like the Lans were maliciously targeting WWX is doing them something of a disservice, I’d say. They acted based on the knowledge they had available; note how the Lans are the first to offer WWX their help once they’re given reason to believe he may not be a villain! And even aside from that, saying they killed WWX (and not JGS and JGY’s manipulation or JC’s army) feels a bit like scapegoating, honestly. Of the four sects, the Lans are quite possibly the least responsible for WWX’s death. If it would hurt him to live with or around anyone who held any responsibility for his death his only option would be to live as a hermit, which would be far worse for him. And yeah, the Lans aren’t perfectly righteous all the time and some morally dubious things have been done by Lan sect members; they’re human, after all! Some of them will only be as moral as their sect leader demands they be! That doesn’t mean the sect as a whole is bad, especially with LXC, LQR and LWJ in charge. Certainly I’d say they’re still better than the other sects, all things considered. One ambiguous situation that may or may not have involved some members of the previous generation doing some fucked up shit doesn’t mean WWX would for sure be mistreated! 

As for gossip... there’s a difference between sharing information and gossiping. There’s no evidence that the Lan women are blocked from... y’know, freely communicating and sharing information between themselves. We have no reason to believe they are reliant on gossip. Also they presumably go out night hunting just like the men? Men and women are kept separate in the Cloud Recesses, but I get the sense that that’s more like... school stuff than anything else. The women aren’t exactly locked up, they can be cultivators! The society is still sexist, but that doesn’t mean they’re kept from going out and doing things. And I need to make this clear: there is a fair chance that the rule against gossip saved LWJ’s life, because it kept word of him defending WWX from the sects from spreading to people who would not be willing to let bygones be bygones. Gossip sucks! It hurts people! A lot of this story (and more to the point the suffering of the characters within the story) happens because of gossip! The Lans banning gossip is pretty clearly supposed to be a good thing, I’d say.

And yeah, maybe after WWX killed a bunch of their sect the Lans wouldn’t accept him with open arms as if nothing ever happened! And that’s fair! I can’t imagine where WWX could go where that wouldn’t be the case, unless he and LWJ chose to abandon the cultivation world forever. But you know what else the Lans won’t do? Try to execute him. Or from what we see in the extras even dwell on the past that much. No, the Lans aren’t going to immediately forgive WWX and bring him into the fold without a moment’s hesitation, but you know what? They accept his marriage to LWJ! They let him supervise the juniors on night hunts! They consider him part of their sect! Honestly, that is all WWX can really ask and far more than he’d get from any other sect. There are consequences for what WWX did, even though he wasn’t the villain or necessarily trying to hurt anyone, and frankly people not being entirely comfortable with his presence is very much reasonable.

The “do not speak to WWX” rule may not be a joke, but it’s also pretty clearly not a serious rule. No one takes it seriously. The juniors (the only people WWX really talks to anyway aside from LXC and LWJ) only pay it the minimum lip service of talking to him off the path. WWX himself sure as hell doesn’t care! He clearly finds it pretty damn funny. And I don’t think a guy who has never liked him once again proving he does not like him (in a way that is clearly temporary given how later LQR invites WWX to the Lan family banquet with... reasonable amounts of grace, thereby implicitly accepting him as LWJ’s husband and therefore his own family by marriage) counts as a rejection or a breach of WWX’s trust? Like, LQR has literally always hated WWX. He isn’t preventing WWX and LWJ from spending time together or shutting WWX out of the Cloud Recesses or even making a concentrated effort to keep people from talking to him; he’s venting his frustrations, but if he really intended to block WWX from taking part in life in the Cloud Recesses he would’ve done a hell of a lot more than just make a rule who no one WWX likes follows anyway. It’s a temper tantrum, that’s all, and clearly that’s what WWX takes it as. I mean, if nothing else you can’t ban people from talking to the sect heir’s spouse indefinitely. That’s just not sustainable.

As for the rules... banning people from running in the Cloud Recesses and demanding proper posture during lessons doesn’t suggest to me that they wouldn’t allow stimming? ‘No running’ at least is a common rule... most places. It’s distracting, and can be dangerous. And the rule about sitting properly doesn’t mean “Don’t move at all ever”; it means... well, “sit properly”. Don’t slouch or sprawl across the floor. I see no reason why that wouldn’t preclude means of stimming that wouldn’t be disruptive (and given this is in a classroom environment “not disruptive” is kind of important). I mean, those rules certainly don’t suggest that they’re any worse than other sects, and given this is the sect that has magic music for calming people’s minds if any sect would give allowances for neurodivergence it would be this one. Also I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a song to put people to sleep, or medication that can help; this is a world with magic, after all, and if there’s a song that can put spirits to rest there are probably songs for human medicine and care. And of course there’s an element of conflicting needs; maybe the rules would screw you over, but frankly firmly enforced rules keeping people from running around or sprawling out of their seats would’ve been a godsend for me in school, given how much trouble I had focusing with people making noise around me. At the end of the day, is it guaranteed that the Lans would make allowances for people with needs that conflict with the Lan rules? No. But I’d argue it’s more likely that they would than any other sect. This is ahistorical fantasy ancient China, too; you can only expect so much in the mental health department. Still, a sect that literally invented magic music for calming the mind actually seems like the best choice for people with anxiety and such. There’s a reason why there are multiple fics that essentially set the Lans up as mental health experts in the setting!

Basically, a lot of your arguments seem to be issues that WWX would have in any sect. Unless he wanted to give up on the support of a sect altogether, they’re all things that he would have to work through or come to terms with. And of course... the most important point is that WWX is happy in the Lan sect. The extras make that clear. He has a home, duties that he enjoys performing, the love of his family and the support of his sect. He’s happy. I just... I do not understand why people keep feeling the need to try to make it angsty when the novel makes it clear that he genuinely enjoys his life in Gusu, and more than that that if he ever decided he didn’t enjoy it he could leave at any time. You have to remember that: if WWX wanted to leave... he would. He and LWJ would just go, and only come back occasionally so that LWJ could visit his home. Hell, LWJ would insist on leaving for WWX’s sake. So like... the Lan sect wouldn’t suit everyone, but WWX is quite content there and doesn’t want to leave. He’s happy and free to come and go as he wishes; there really isn’t anything to be concerned about there.

[shijiujun]

Hi! Is it okay to ask you for a small advice? I started reading Thousand Autumns recently (currently on chapters ~85-88) and I'm having a bit of a problem with Yan Wushi's character. I am so turned off by his behavior towards SQ for the whole novel up to this point and I just wonder - is it gonna get better...? I can't stand seeing him openly abusing SQ and treating him like shit, I'm sorry (1)

I know he's evil and it's expected of him to be bad but with future romance prospect I'm really struggling to like the relationship between him and SQ; and if in the first half of the novel I didn't expect big changes, now I keep hoping to see something different from him but I'm not seeing much. He keeps treating SQ horribly. I'm not sure if I can forgive him for what he's done and has no remorse whatsoever - (2)

- abusing SQ and manipulating him, using him as an experiment as if he's a toy to play with; selling him to a r*pist knowing he'll be tortured to death...! And after everything that happend I still barely see anything good in his attitude towards SQ. I can't help but think SQ deserves so much better. I suppose I should try to have some hope for the upcoming chapters to be better? Is it worth it to continue reading or nothing will change? Excuse me for writing so much, Thank you

---

Heya! Oooof okay so you’re totally valid, Yan Wushi isn’t like a character for everyone - so let me break it down with the first part and then the second part where his attitude turns for the better XD

Spoilers under the cut

Before SQ goes to save him:

Yan Wushi does have a goal which is to play mind games with Shen Qiao and (1) throw him into despair (2) try to see if Shen Qiao is a worthy opponent - sure, he’s an asshole with an agenda of his own. YWS doesn’t believe that there is any good in anyone - he thinks Shen Qiao is a hypocrite and that everyone will turn evil given the right circumstances, and so YWS doesn’t trust anyone, or even considers anyone as an equal to him.

He wants to see Shen Qiao become evil basically and does everything he can to direct him towards that but I’d say his actions (with two exceptions) fit his character and the two motives above pretty well and I’m not sure I’d count it as abuse (based on my understanding of abuse, feel free to disagree). I think it’s easy to forget that Shen Qiao is not delusional or naive or ‘innocent’, and he does not paint YWS as some saviour or a friend (at least in the beginning) - he knows who YWS is, knows that he’s insane, not compassionate, totally evil etc. even from the start the moment he realizes that YWS and his disciple lied to him.

1. He lies to Shen Qiao that he’s his shizun, and then sends him to kill someone, but he’s not there to enforce it

2. Throws him out on the streets without his memories, but Shen Qiao is anything but a weak youngling, once again, YWS doesn’t do anything to him

3. YWS turns up at the temple and has Shen Qiao read the scripture - SQ’s not sure what’s going on at first but he more or less figures it out, but also the scripture reading inadvertently helps to heal him (and YWS knows this)

4. YWS flirts with Shen Qiao for a reaction for a while, he’s not genuine of course, but Shen Qiao knows he’s not genuine

5. YWS doesn’t help Shen Qiao out when he’s faced with an opponent while he’s still injured just to see how long Shen Qiao can hold out for - but firstly, Shen Qiao never really expected him to help in the first place, because he has no delusions about the man - and YWS ends up helping anyway, of course not out of the kindness of his heart, but I don’t see why I should hold that against him XD

6. Stands by and watches as Shen Qiao and his shidi Yu Ai have their confrontation - Sure, he’s there to watch the drama, but it’s Shen Qiao who makes the decision to go with him - the lesser of two evils

7. Forces Shen Qiao to fight him while he’s still injured because he wants to see if Shen Qiao’s recovery level has reached a certain point, enough to be an adversary worth dealing with - yes, he’s forcing Shen Qiao to fight when he’s still blind and weak, but throughout the fight you realize that YWS is right - it’s that very battle that basically lets SQ recover his previous abilities by a bit. He’s not hurting SQ for the fun of it (out of sadism or shit) - he purely (or evil-ly) wants to know if SQ is every bit of the skilled warrior he’s heard about 

The exceptions are these: (1) When he plants the demonic seed thing in his heart (2) When he trades SQ to Sang Jing Xing for his sword, knowing full well that SJX has a habit of sexually torturing his prisoners - I feel like YWS was almost warming up to SQ when his habit of distrust and everything kicked in and he reverted back to his cynical self - Not an excuse for what he did though, because yes Shen Qiao especially didn’t want the demonic seed thing firstly (and YWS knows this), and then he despaired at being left to SJX. This is the incident that has SQ basically give up on YWS and allows him to erase any notion of him ever becoming friends with YWS. I’m also rather curious how exactly SQ kind of like got over this - but in the settings of the book, I guess it’s explained away with (1) SQ actually fully recovering as a result of this incident (2) SQ has a big heart, and forgives YWS after - but whether or not that’s convincing, that’s up to every reader.

After SQ goes to save him:

1. So after the SJX incident - where he chose to self-destruct and die, taking SJX along with him but ended up surviving and being able to cultivate properly again from the start (previously he couldn’t because he could only recover to a certain extent as there was some blockage etc., but the blast in this incident clears the blockage) - and after he’s sort of recovered like 50-75%, he hears of an ambush on YWS by the leaders of like 5 other sects, and decides to go forward to save him 

2. Not because he harbours any like delusions on YWS, but to show him that despite all YWS has done to him (especially with SJX), SQ is still SQ, and he still adheres to his own principles, that YWS did not make him change his mind about being good basically

3. YWS’s views of him starts to change because of this - YWS has never found someone with this much grit to stick to his own principles etc., to still be kind and righteous basically despite being betrayed again and again. Of course this does not excuse the fact that YWS did indeed deliberately leave him to a potentially painful death with SJX - and SQ doesn’t forget either. 

4. SQ saves YWS, and then his heart melts because while YWS is recovering from the ambush, he has two other personalities that show up - so YWS when he was much younger, then YWS when he was a teenager, and YWS now. So YWS as a kid and teen are more trusting and open, and SQ likes kid YWS a lot (like as kid brother), and now-YWS wakes up occasionally from the switch in personas, he realizes that SQ likes kid-YWS and starts thinking about why SQ hates him and likes his kid self.

5. Even then, YWS still does try to jump ship once and leave SQ and other evil people behind in a dangerous cave, but thankfully teen/kid-YWS personas fight to turn up in time, and then YWS goes back for SQ

6. SQ knows this - he doesn’t think YWS has had a sudden change of heart or shit, and knows full well that if it was now-YWS, if kid-YWS didn’t turn up, he would probably be left to think about how to leave the cave on his own

7. YWS’s behaviour towards SQ does a 180 - now that he knows he cannot sway SQ, he starts to listen to SQ, and despite all the barbs on the surface, even if he disagrees with SQ’s positive outlook, he makes an effort to contribute and consider SQ’s opinion even if he doesn’t, intrinsically, believe in it. Starts putting himself in front of SQ, and of course SQ doesn’t believe this all the way to the end, where he realizes that he actually, just that tiny little bit, has started liking YWS and doesn’t want him to die.

8. Then they confirm their relationship in the extras, and YWS does do that hot-and-cold thing once so SQ figures out his feelings for him properly - It’s SQ that initiates the confirmation at the end I think

---

I think at some level, YWS cannot stand how naive Shen Qiao is, and some of the things that he’s leading Shen Qiao to think about/discover are valid - And throughout the book it’s proven true - SQ is kind to Chen Jing, but Chen Jing sells him out (not just once but thrice). He’s kind to and has always doted on Yu Ai, but Yu Ai sells him out too. The elders in his sect - some of them obviously turned to Yu Ai over him despite SQ never having given them reason to doubt him. I don’t think YWS is being deliberately cruel (or abusive) - he’s forcing SQ to look at reality, a reality that YWS sees and lives in.

He always asks Shen Qiao why he trusts others so easily, and afterwards, Shen Qiao does admit that YWS is right in this aspect - he won’t give up his ideals and how he gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, but through YWS, he realizes he needs to be able to think ahead to protect himself and the ppl around him.

Doesn’t excuse the SJX thing YWS did, and I’m sure SQ doesn’t conveniently forget about that either, but in terms of how/why they got together, I guess it’s because despite everything they do know each other best, and are soulmates (tho not only in the sugar-spice-and-everything-nice way i.e. SQ does think YWS is handsome and YWS thinks SQ is the cutest thing ever later). SQ has seen the worst of YWS, and YWS has seen the worst of him - and SQ is made to realize that what he was before was not the best path he could go on because of YWS, but he adjusts his attitude slightly and holds on to his ideals sufficiently. 

On the other hand, YWS still does not believe everyone except his Ah Qiao can truly say they’re good and keep to it in every way, still thinks the worst of a lot of people if not all, but he stops to consider SQ’s POV and input now, whose opinions and every action now mean more to him than anything else ever will. Of course he has to prove himself and earn SQ’s trust back, but I guess he also doesn’t expect SQ to reciprocate, even after he developed feelings for SQ, knowing full well that he’s a mofo and SQ has every right to hate him after all he did.

They don’t fix each other, they’re not each other’s salvations, but they fit and come sort of to a truce, despite having differing views and principles.

Manipulation? Sure, but I think we forget that Shen Qiao is not a victim (except the part where he’s given to SJX) and his agency in every situation is apparent - He’s pretty clear-minded, he knows what Yan Wushi is doing, knows what his character is like, knows that he’s doing/saying things all to get a reaction out of him. He doesn’t expect YWS to help him either, because he knows YWS is here for fun and games. He doesn’t go along with YWS just because, either. He just made a wrong call by trusting that YWS reciprocated his feelings of friendship (not that it’s his fault at all), but that is certainly a moment of weakness he probably regrets.

---

In summary, I personally wasn’t all that put off by YWS’s behaviour, altho I agree the SJX incident is pretty much unforgivable. For me I read this more from the SQ perspective, because his strength shines in every moment and interaction with YWS and overshadows YWS by a lot, which is why the end makes sense to me.

In response to your question - yes YWS does get better when he’s finally totally convinced that SQ is not a hypocrite (although yeah it takes him a while to get there). And for me it’s nice to see Shen Qiao figure out himself, and also his feelings for YWS after, but also never once compromising himself for YWS.

But YWS is definitely less palatable than most other characters in danmei, so it’s natural if you dislike him and remain unconvinced! It happens XD If you hate this, I suggest you try Wu Shuang! Set in the same universe and timeline, and actually doesn’t have much angst - full on bantering between the main CP, constant veiled insults etc.

[seoafin]

tbh,, i havent read the raws of the interview yet, only the translated ver from fan-translator and b4 i start, i think that this will be just me talking in circle and in no particular order AND a real mess (my brain does weird things after exams) but uhh here we go

gojou collects talented people, and by doing so he finds the people he can most probably relate to, except that he can't, not really, because something in the universe shifted when he was born. and it makes me think of how he's always known it, that he is special, and he's proven it, time and time again— he wants to take in talented ppl and he does, but there rly isn't much he can do for them. for they are talented, more talented than the world can understand,,

but they aren't gojou satoru

gojou took in megumi, bc he knew megumi was strong, and would grow up to be someone even stronger, but gojou can't facilitate or encourage his growth, bc for all they're similar, they are so fundamentally different. ALSO,, while geto was in his life, gojou rly judged everything according to his understanding of geto’s moral compass. gojou wears a human suit and geto is how he learnt to wear it well 🏃

the dragonfly analogy regarding to geto’s response to gojo, who was shown wearing a dragonfly patterned yukata in HI arc,, i’m trying to not think abt the fact that dragonfly symbolized victory in jpn....pain. i quoted from a web here for more explanation : In Japan the dragonfly is known as the "victory insect", or kachimushi, because of its hunting prowess and also because it is known to never retreat. Dragonflies are agile and fast fliers and can even hover, but never fly backwards

and bringing this up again, matricide and patricide are 2 of the 5 worst act to commit in buddhism, and it was said that if u commit one of those act u’re going to spend a real long time in the deepest pit of hell before continuing the samsaric cycle (higher chances to be born as an animal after that probs)— this might be geto’s divine retribution. held no power over his own body and could be considered that he’s the same as those “monkeys” 💀

ALSO the fact that sukuna's interest is "eating" rly drives home his hedonistic philosophy of seeking pleasure for himself. and he’s a cannibal...makes me think if he’ll just chomp on ppl with the mouth on his stomach

randomly, to date i think he hasn't really called himself a human, shaman, or a curse, and has held himself apart from all 3, and we've also the intro of the cursed wombs so i wonder if he’s trying to become, or is, a different entity altogether

so onmyoji got mentioned in the interview and what they practice is called onmyodo and abe no seimei and kano no yasunori were the notable practitioners,, and the kamo in jjk is the same as irl who served the imperial court back then

maybe i was right when i said that the relation between the govt. and jujutsu elders are similar to how the shogunate and imperial court work (ie, the former holds the actual power) but... lets see later,,

and i cant believe that i actually nailed it on the analogy of jujutsu practices by religion,,, so mahayana buddhism, shintoism, and taoism is present in jjk along with their respective jujutsu practices...but between the 3, it shld (?) be taoism > shintoism > mahayana buddhism (which could took a path to pure land buddhism)

it’s weird that the number of curses are supposedly higher in jpn comparable to other countries when taoism was brought from china....tengen sus

so the zenin family tree is sth like :

brothers: [toji's dad] ; naobito ; ougi

so toji, naoya, and maki & mai are cousins of the same generation

[toji's dad] → jinichi (probs) ; toji → megumi

naobito → other brothers, naoya

ougi → maki, mai

but yea i’d call anyone who’s within/close or below my age range as cousins and others above 30 as uncles/ aunts LMFAO,, i dont rly memorize my own family tree 😭😭 especially since most call the other by honorifics instead of names : aunt, uncles etc or attaching said honorifics at the end of a name for an older sibling figure/ older cousins [but like ppl in my country also call the other who are older with sibling honorific even if we’re strangers,,, rly similar to korea’s hyung/oppa—eonnie(unnie)/noona but some uses more genderless honorific] (1)

tw // topic of incest, mentions of abuse

if anyone got the wrong idea when reading this : i am not glorifying/ romanticising incest(uous themes),, i’m looking at this with absolutely no lenses of bias even tho im rly against it

初恋 = literally : first love, or puppy love

恋 = romantic love/ deep longing

i literally don't know how else to put this...🧍and with language barrier...using a western interpretation of the eng word "love" to explain a jpnese term is not quite that simple, unfortunately

that thread omg,, i rly do understand how exactly someone could associated kindness with love bc of my upbringing, it was when i was slightly older that i was just...oh so its not like that orz,,, so the most plausible explanation would be that

but the problem is that,, akutami never specify when exactly she had a crush on them,, and when megumi answered todo’s question she had a “♡” reaction 😶,, uhmmm there’s rly no way to look past this if its this way or be in denial

i’ve seen some of "why wouldn't mai react that way after hearing megumi say he'd like someone who's compassionate when she's surrounded by men like naoya",, well I MEAN,,, that, but also mai probs admires that megumi grew up so well out of the clan, regardless of the fact that he had the foundation (10 shadows) to do so. imo she seems happy for him the way she can't be for maki, bc maki ultimately had to leave her behind

hate to say it but yea,, the 3 clans most likely still practice inbreeding in order to preserve their power and presumably their wealth too 😀

i had an idle thought abt it at first but i filed it deep in the back of my mind asap,, bc i ont wanna jump to conclusion abt this out of all things too early. it’s probably not even in jjk, but all those elite clans in other ani/mangas that produce powerful heirs and whatnot also do the same,,, but this way of (my personal) thinking was influenced when i first got into tsukihime (type-moon),,, i read abt the nanaya family background and found out that they practice that in order to keep their bloodline “pure” (to keep it short : they have an optical power),, and i had this kind of assumption ever since so there’s that

i’m,, convinced the zenins' inbreeding made it more difficult for them to get powerful shamans bc they got 2 jujutsu technique-less children with heavenly restrictions in the same generation: toji & maki

even more convinced that maki might be a bit stronger than toji bc toji could see curses without aid while maki can't so the pay-off must be higher,,, SJJASN IDK ,,, plus naoya sort of implies his older brothers are nothing compared to him, and idk if we should take that as his arrogance or that his older brothers rly are weak/powerless. it would make sense as to why naobito had a lot of sons, ig, as head of clan

i feel so bad that if one of the factors that can caused heavenly restriction is inbreeding,, toji and maki and mai had no say in how they wanted to be born but are scorned for it,, typical asian families projecting their traumas and ideals onto their kids but get mad when they realize that those ideals are ugly...😁😁😁

since the zenin are conservative,, i wonder if they still hold onto old jpnese dining traditions. where in ancient jpn, hierarchical relationships were made readily apparent even within families. a dining table where everybody sat down and ate as equals would be unheard of. rather, each individual is given their own table that indicates their status,,, someone who is not considered “strong” according to the zenin’s views most likely have no place at the table, and probs eat when those who are “strong” finished/ serve them when they are eating

if toji was tossed into a swarm of curses,, i dont think abuse during said time is below them,,,

the zenin clan was already great, but they further amassed power and strength by, what i assume to be, marrying and adopting powerful individuals into the clan 🤔 ,,, i imagine they're like the hiiragi but without doing what they did to shinya (ons reference)

BUT after all that, i like to think that since akutami’s a big horror fan, jjk might be an outlet to explore said topics or even darker ones, so i wouldnt be that surpised abt it. given that there’s more than enough “red flags” before this was dropped : a reference to “tale of hikaru genji” when a grown woman asked for gojou’s number in HI arc (out of all things); granny who transformed into the man’s daughter, sat on his lap and man just touched her waist; mei mei and ui ui ; and...this (incestous theme is in the novel btw)

lets not start with whatever the fuck in kubo’s head in the interview otherwise i’m writing paragraphs with every curse words possible,, those big 3 mangakas are so— UGH,, a planet w out (cis) men like him sounds real good rn 😌 if one of yall out there decide to do it,, pls hmu rly cant do this shit anymore

akutami said i like my men pretty and i like women who will step on my neck and spit in my face (I REMEMBERED TATSUKI FUJIMOTO’S INTERVIEW WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABT MAKIMA AND IT WAS SO 😭😭😭😭) but ykw,, love that for both of them <3

when i said 3 : one piece, bleach, naruto. aside from the blatant depiction/ characterize of women in those 3,, idk if some ppl arent aware yet but oda is friends with two (2) convicted pedos,, man...the major disappointment and disgust when i first find out abt it

anyways this is just my 2 cents (which i think rightfully belong to the trash can) so pls just take this w a lil to no grain of salt - 🐱

YEAH THE ♡ LMFAO I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A “good answer ♡“ heart BUT NOW IM RE-EXAMINING?????

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if the three clans practiced inbreeding. but ik people are going to be  😡😡😡😡😡 about it when the queen of fucking england is literally married to her (something) cousin. i’m not justifying it but like....love the double standards, just as always with the west 😍

DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT FUCKING PED* LIST THEY SHOULD ALL BE IN JAIL. JAILLLLL. it’s all so gross. that’s why i fucking hate when people look towards manga for positive representation because the chances of that are super slim to zero, especially since the industry is saturated with misogyny and ped******* and a lot of other gross stuff.

i think ppl forget jjk is a horror manga LOL so obviously it’s going to confront darker themes. the question is whether it’s going to be done tastefully or not......

[normal-thoughts-official]

Oooh yeah the first time I was playing as a female mc because I wanted to romance ava and I usually go male mc if I want to romance a man and female mc if I want to romance a woman (and I think there was one book with where mc could be non-binary so I picked that one but I didn't finished the book), and Stacy's brother felt Hetero™ in a way, like Hollywood ish (? Honestly like cinematographicly bad hetero) but I ended up really loving Andy too, and Stacy felt a little flat but also I really liked her potential, like go crazy girl, and the mom issues.

Apart but holy shit you're 10000% right about that teacher like who inmediately threatens expulsion just like that for something not violent ??? And to an honor student with way too much on his plate ??? Obviously it would have been bad with any student, but you have literally the reason of why he's doing it and as a teacher HE LITERALLY COULD HAVE HELPED WITH IT ??????? Like something teachers can't really help students because it's a family thing only or is a financial struggle or etc but it was literally because of school (and his family, but the teacher could have heloed him with the school part)

(Identity thief anon (also I go by any pronouns ahhshs))

ur valid! that's lowkey what i wish i'd do (picking female MC if my fave LI is female and the other way around, i mean) but unfortunately i always go into the stories blindly having no idea what i'll find </3 so i cant really do that doiajdiosa and then i get attached for the MC i picked so i feel bad about changing their gender/name/appearance when i replay. so what i usually do is that i pick a male MC when i get the option because A- u don't always get the option, so i end up being male half the time and female half the time either way; and B- i feel slightly more comfortable with a male identity than a female one. like i'm still nonbinary and i wouldn't consider myself male aligned or within the gender of Man, but like... when i first came out i went by any pronouns but then because im afab everyone was like "cool, she/her only it is" so i was like fuck that and stopped using she/her. so i feel slightly more comfortable with a masc MC and end up going with that

there's also the fact that it always feels slightly genderfucky to have a male MC because choices is so sexist and also always writes the stories assuming ull pick a female MC, even when they give u the option not to. so when u pick a male MC he's very like not toxically masc and some things they add to make a QuiRkY MC that are very white woman and would feel annoying are actually kind of subversive for my black and brown male MCs. so like another win for queerness /j

ILITW MC in particular i feel has HUGE nonbinary vibes like no reason at all he just does <3 maybe it's just that for once the male clothes for ILITW actually fUCK. i wanna dress in that goth outfit <3 so gorgeous ugh. i love him even tho he's a fucking dumbass

also there's a book where an MC can be enby? worm? ive only ever read one book in choices with any enby characters at all (america's most elligible, books 2-3) but they weren't even a LI which is disappointing cuz they were a billion times superior to any of the LIs. sorry america's most elligible LIs fans

also oh connor IS the epitome of white cistraight man even when u play as a man tbh, like he was just so cistraight to me daouhdsaojdasij he kind of annoys me but also i forget that he even exists until he shows up onscreen and choices starts trying to push me into his lap and i'm just like, ugh, not again

and yeah i think i feel a similar way about stacy. i don't dislike her as a character and i don't feel like she as a character felt flat, her growth was very interesting and i loved seeing her start to challenge her mom like YESSS GO GIRL GIVE US EVERYTHING, she just felt flat as a LI to me ig? like idk i didn't feel chemistry between her and my MC personally, but also like, stacy girls are valid u know

right exactly. like i don't think ppl really understand that a school that doesn't drive people to cry during finals week and feel absolutely crushed by having to be there and that makes ppl feel like they're stupid, not enough, and overwhelmed IS IN FACT POSSIBLE and actually pretty easy to make when we stop treating students like statistics that will get the school more clients/funding (depending on whether it's a private or public school). and like as a teacher getting my degree in brasil it just feels completely surreal to me that anyone would see a student who's so overwhelmed by the amount of extracurriculars and responsibilities he feels like he has to take that he starts taking drugs to help his performance despite it affecting his health, and see that as like... something morally reprehensible? like it is bad that it happened but it's not the student's fault, what's morally reprehensible are the circumstances that led to his decision, not his decision

and like it is very much a systemic problem, more and more kids are taking focus pills to be able to survive the pressure of school and have a shot at a future, either on their own or because we are actually medicalizing not existing to be productive. and if it's a systemic problem then the fault is at the system?? and like holy shit i legit don't understand why choices gave us options like being like "it still isn't enough" when lucas gets rid of his pills, what do you mean it isn't enough??? enough for what??? to FORGIVE him???? for something that only hurt himself??? for something that is very much a systemic problem and therefore NOT HIS FAULT????? literally what the fuck even is this, lucas doesn't have to "make up" for a single thing, he needs to be HELPED is what he needs

like idk i know that the school system in the US is...... extremely backwards lmao which is not a term i like to use because it usually implies imperialistic views but the US is the height of world imperialism so like actually idc. brasil has a pretty progressive constitution and as a teacher my whole education was focused on being critical of the school system, particularly the productivity obsession, and drilling into us again and again that we aren't supposed to just be teaching subjects, we are also supposed to be teaching how to be a citizen, be a critical human being, work towards building a better future, and learning and growing AS A PERSON to be healthy and happy are values of the school system

like that's easier said than done when schools are under insane amounts of pressure by companies in practice to be productivity-driven, and most teachers who actually want to do a good job end up having to live at the edge of the knife and constantly fighting back outside pressure, but at least it is very much a mandatory part of our education to become teachers and also like literally part of the constitution. so i just... i can't fathom reacting the way mr cooper did? like as a teacher i felt BETRAYED, i felt like he shat all over my profession because that is the opposite of what we should be doing, this is a kid who needs help

and just like hOLY SHIT HE DID NOTHING WRONG, what are you punishing him for??? it's not even a like, stealing bread to feed your family situation, because what he did HAS NO VICTIM OTHER THAN HIMSELF, and therefore HE IS THE VICTIM NOT THE CULPRIT. he doesn't have to repent or atone or answer for a single fucking thing, he didn't victimize others, he doesn't have to apologize, there's nothing to punish him fOR??? like i don't believe in punishment anyway cuz im a prison abolitionist but doDAUSDJADASIJDAS???????????? HE DIDN'T. HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG. WHY IS THIS WHOLE GAME ACTING AS IF HE WAS IN THE WRONG. OH MY GOD

it's like saying that someone needs to be forgiven for self harming????? like how is it that someone has been hurt continuously until it led them to hurt themselves and then they have to? make up for it to a bunch of other ppl? my god it makes me so mad and i genuinely don't understand the logic, like usually when i see someone doing fucked up shit i can see the logic but i don't agree with it, but this time i genuinely DON'T SEE THE LOGIC. my USan friends said it was because he was technically doing drugs but like i legit still don't understand

anyway any school that drives a student to do something like that needs to rethink their entire curriculum and the psychological effect it's having on kids, because lucas is 1- not even the first one according to mr cooper; 2- even if he was, that'd be the only one who got CAUGHT; and 3- even if there was really only one singular student who went tHIS far, i doubt the others weren't feeling that same pressure and dealing with it in other similarly unhealthy ways

i know that's probably easier in brasil than in the US even if it's by no means easy here because here at least in public schools the curriculum and political-pedagogical plan has to be agreed on by the school community (teachers, parents, students, workers, and anyone who lives in the area of the school) and it's updated every year, so like, you have more means to do something to change the school in a deeper way, altho of course that still has to mean swinging the rest of the community, but still. but at the very least he could have looked for counseling for him? tried to find a way to take some of the workload off his shoulders? given him some more time on assignments? motioning for all the clubs he was the president of to have co-presidents so he was less overwhelmed?

like there was just daodsao he could have done so many things and he justs DIDN'T he chose to not only punish him instead but quite literally THREATEN HIM WITH DEATH because that's what calling the police on a latino student over a drug charge is. like he might've survived but the possibility that he would fucking DIE was very much there, and i know choices didn't think of that because they'd rather die than think about the racial implications of anything but holy fucking shit. and im not even getting into how mr cooper is BLACK because then ill just start biting people like thanks for putting that threat on a black character's mouth choices. if u need me ill be foaming at the mouth

anyway SORRY god why is it that i always get to the salty part within 2 seconds of joining a fandom i promise that i actually like it lives and the way they handled most of their plot, i genuinely think it's a very well written and actually worth ur time story but i just doadosaida like i said particularly as a teacher in the context where i'm being taught, plus with all my political beliefs, i just can't let it go aaaa

also ty for telling me ur pronouns! idk if i assumed them at any time, i don't think so but i might have done so without realizing and if i did im really sorry. also sorry for the gigantic salty reply daojdsaojdaisjsajdoadsaodasj rip me i never shut up