#i can’t remember off the top of my head if beat and josh even interacted directly

[owari--hajimari]

oh my god i hated “let’s not keep her waiting” and “josh’d better watch out” SINCE WHEN DO THEY EVEN KNOW EACH OTHER. like hell joshua respects shiki like that and like hell shiki feels close enough to him to use a nickname when They Haven’t Had Even One Conversation. unless draco cantus or josh knocking her out right after counts. there were other more pressing things going on there than introductions lol

[bubbyleh]

ghostly shenanigans

Joshua Freeman is going to be seven years old forever. Sure, he’s technically older than almost every other monster in the crypt (Bubby and Coomer have him beat by a few decades, at least, and Benrey might be ageless), but his body, mind, and maturity are all never going to grow beyond how they were when he died.

But that’s not a bad thing! Being a kid forever is way more fun than being an adult. Adults only seem stressed out and anxious, which Joshua is not interested in. He only wants to play games and watch funny TV shows.

Besides, if he wasn’t a kid, then he wouldn’t have gotten his new dad! He didn’t really like his first dad, so Gordon’s already off to a head start there. But even then, though, Joshua’s pretty sure he’s knocking it out of the park. Like how the two of them will play games together for hours, or how he made sure that there was a playroom in the crypt. Seriously, best dad ever!

“Daddy! Daddy!” Joshua bounds into the kitchen and jumps into Gordon’s arms, who has to frantically drop the meat he was grabbing from the fridge in order to catch his son. While he’s a little upset about his food getting floor germs, he’s also an undead zombie forever roaming the earth, so it’s not like he can get sick or anything. And he loves Josh, so it all works out!

“Woah, hey kid,” Gordon holds his ghost son up to his face. “What’s this all about?”

“I love you!” Joshua gives his dad a quick hug. “And I wanna play!”

Gordon winces. “Josh, I was just about to eat.”

Joshua makes a disgusted face, sticking his tongue out. He hasn’t eaten in about one hundred years and he’s been fine, so why can’t Gordon be the same? And, on a more disturbing note, Gordon gets real weird when he eats. It’s just all raw meat, which is the worst kind of meal to watch someone dig into with their bare hands.

“You don’t want me eating one of our cryptmates, do you?” Gordon asks. Josh’s eyes go wide, and he shakes his head furiously. “I thought so. How about you go see if Benrey will play with you?”

Joshua sighs, wiggling out of his father’s arms. He sulks off through the kitchen door, towards everyone's bedrooms.

†††

Joshua peeks his head through Benrey’s door in a blatant show of disrespect towards their privacy. Just as he expected, the floor is absolutely covered with stray video game cases and empty cans of unidentified soda. There are no lights on, but he’s pretty sure Benrey’s in here. Where else would a haunted spirit be in the middle of the day?

“Mr. Benrey?” Joshua calls out, and for a moment, the room is still. He almost begins metaphorically racking his brain, trying to remember whether Benrey was in the den when he passed through, when suddenly, the shadows begin to shift.

They stir, twirling and twisting into a figure Joshua recognizes. The whirlwind picks up a pumpkin that had been hidden somewhere, spinning into place right at the top as Benrey takes form.

“WHO DARES DISTURBS MY SLEEP?” Benrey’s voice is loud and booming, but in no way can it be described as a yell. Benrey doesn't yell.

“Hi!” Joshua beams, cheerful.

Noticing the little ghost currently phasing through his door, they drop the theatrics. “Oh, hey Joshua. What’s up?”

“I’m bored!” Joshua whines, stomping his ghostly feet as he completely enters Benrey’s room. “And my dad won’t play with me!”

“Oh that’s… that’s a bummer.” Benrey loops their hands under Joshua’s arms, lifting him up to eye level. “Want ghost lessons from your good friend Benrey?”

Josha tilts his head. “You’re not a ghost.”

“Wh- Yes I am,” Benrey sputters. “I was alive once, dude.”

Joshua gasps, stars in his eyes. “Really? Just like me?”

“Yeah. What did you think I was?”

“Pumpkin,” Joshua states bluntly. “Why don’t you have a head?”

Benrey’s pumpkin smile turns to a pumpkin frown. “Lost it.”

Joshua frowns. “But if you’re also a ghost, does that mean when I get older I’ll be like you?”

“No!” The denial comes tumbling out of Benrey’s mouth before they can stop themself, and they quickly slip back into their laid back demeanor. “Nah, I was just an angry death, and now I gotta haunt people. You’re here for different reasons.”

“Hm,” Joshua hums to himself. “So you’re gonna teach me cool ghost things?”

“Hell yeah,” Benrey agrees. “Let’s work on your tangibility, yeah?”

†††

Gordon, Tommy, and Darnold are sitting in the den, watching a strange movie on the TV. Their facial expressions range from confused (Gordon) to horrified (Tommy) to disappointed (Darnold).

“I think the book was better,” Darnold finally confesses. He reaches forward with the remote, and, with a click, the television shuts off. Tommy breathes a sigh of relief.

“There’s a book?” Gordon asks.

“It’s always a shame when a good book is ruined by a movie adaptation,” Darnold crosses his arms, sinking back into the couch.

While Gordon has quite a few questions about this supposed book version of Sharknado, he’s interrupted by Joshua sticking his head through the wall and gasping. He expects to hear him shout, “Daddy! Look!” But in reality, what Gordon hears is much different.

“Mr. Tommy! Mr. Darnold!” Joshua drops down on the couch between Gordon and the other two. “Benrey taught me a trick!”

“Oh, that’s- that’s nice, Joshua!” Tommy smiles. “Do you want to show us?”

Joshua nods. A determined look spreads across his face as he wraps one arm around Gordon, and then his other around Tommy and Darnold, pulling the three of them close for a hug. It lasts only for a brief moment, as soon enough, Joshua begins to phase through the two living beings once more.

He throws his hands up in the air. “I can hug everyone now!” Joshua shouts, and with that, he runs through the wall, leaving the adults in the room with shocked expressions on their faces.

“His first reaction when he figured out how to interact with living beings was to hug us,” Darnold reasons out.

“That’s so- so sweet!” Tommy looks like he’s about to cry. “Gordon, you have such a good kid.”

Gordon blinks.

“Joshua, holy shit!” Gordon shouts, bolting out of the room after his son. “That was incredible! I’m so proud of you!”

[yoshidaspan]

My earliest memory is of myself wishing to have the attention of my lifelong best friend, Levi. At the time, Levi and I were playing with a boy who was a year older than us, Austin. I don’t remember what was happening specifically, but I do remember what I was feeling. I was filled with a sense of longing. Longing for Levi and Austin’s attention. For their approval. That is the farthest back in my life that I can remember.

As a kid, I was...eccentric. I liked weird stuff, preferred to be by myself, and constantly felt out of place. I was different on a fundamental level. I wanted the approval of others, but was filled with terrible insecurities and self doubt any time I would try to interact with anyone. I saw normal jokes and social interactions as people despising me. It didn’t help that I was extremely skinny, had almost no sense of self worth, and had a terrible speech disorder which made it hard to connect and communicate with people.

I was also filled with a burning competitive spirit. I had to be the best. At everything. I had to be the smartest, the fastest, and the most dedicated to anything and everything under the sun. This was probably cause by living in my brother’s shadow and the fact that I was a pretty smart kid academically. Whenever I wasn’t the absolute best, I felt a crushing weight come upon me. But I did my best to hide it. I put on a smile and shoved all the bad things I felt deep inside me. Again, this is all still happening when I am very young.

I started looking to see what would make me feel good about myself. I looked at television and books and all of my hero’s. And it all boiled down to one thing; dating. Everyone that I looked up to as a kid had one thing in common. They all got the girl, whether that was by finding “true love” or by being the cool guy that dated every hot chick in school. (My main hero’s were drake from drake and josh and aang from avatar). So at the ripe old age of 11 I started dating. Or at least tried to convince girls to go out with me. But again, I was the weird, socially awkward kid who learned how to interact from watching tv and reading Percy Jackson. I tried to be funny but just came off as slightly rude and majorly annoying. And here is the worst part. I blocked out all the feelings of self doubt and hate and just shoved them deep inside me. To stew and fester and remain unresolved.

I also repressed a lot of my childhood memories because of how much I hated myself. Any failed social interaction or attempt to ask a pretty girl out immediately for locked up in some dark corner of my brain. So a lot of this is “revisionist history” because I can only go off what other people tell me and what bits I remember.

So I kept dating. And dating. And wishing someone would pour their self into me and make me feel like I was valid. Until I got to one girl. One girl who I absolutely fell head over heels for. And that was a girl named Mikalyn. Mikalyn was sweet and beautiful and above all caring. She cared about everyone she came across. I tried for a solid year and a half to get her attention to no avail. And so I was crushed by the weight of my self hate and blamed my body image and lack of social skills. And so I did what I do best. I shoved down all of my feelings and looked for the next girl. Since I still wasn’t over Mikalyn, I went for her best friend, Rachael. And I had improved on my outward facade that Racheal actually agreed to date me. It was actually in the middle of dating Racheal that I fell for another girl. And I fell hard. Borderline stalker and definitely unhealthy. That girl was Brynnan, and we will be talking about her a lot more.

At this point I’m in the eighth grade and still have almost crippling feelings of self hate that I am barely suppressing. But along the way, I have found three safe havens from all of these feelings. And those safe havens are martial arts, music, and writing. And while they all made me feel better about myself, they also brought with them huge challenges and repercussions. Martial arts was and is amazing because of the pure level of dedication and heart I put into it. It was physical and helped me with my body issues. It let me beat out some of my aggression and intense feelings I had been holding inside me. It fuels my competitive spirit. Music was amazing because it allowed me to pour my feelings into notes. It let me be good at a skill. It was meditative and let my flex my creativity. Writing let me be my true self and actually feel my feelings.

But martial arts caused me to work myself to exhaustion. Music made me wish I was cooler than I was. Writing made me realize how broken I was inside.

Because I was now aware that I was messed up and was broken inside, I couldn’t deal. I tried to shove everything down again but it just came back up again. I was still chasing Brynnan. I was barely passing classes. I was failing in every aspect of my life. And so, little by little I killed my emotions. I stopped feeling. I went numb. Brynnan started dating a guy named Colton. I made a few terrible mistakes and only went to martial arts sporadically. I only played bass when I was in band class. I stopped writing.

Amidst all of this, one video changed my life. It resolved my body issues. It opened my eyes to who I truly was. Who I can’t deny I am. It made me feel alive and...happy. Truly happy for the first time in a very, very long time. And that was Jacksepticeye’s playthough of a normal lost phone. In the game, our protagonist discovers that he is not a he. That “he” is transgender. And that resonated deeper within me than words will ever describe.

And then Colton put Brynnan though He’ll and back. Brynnan’s family life imploded. Her entire world had shifted. And so she started doing one thing that would change both of our lives forever. She cut herself.

I wanted to feel again. And not just this numbness that was occasionally interrupted by searing pain and immeasurable sadness. And so I tried to get closer to Brynnan. So I cut myself. And a new world opened to me.

It was addicting. I felt like I was in control. I felt something again. And I felt like I was powerful. I couldn’t stop. Line after line was carved in my skin. I was writing again. I could feel again. Pain, but this time pain that I controlled.

My relationship with my parents worsened with every passing day. They found out about my gender dysphoria and snapped, saying it was an abomination and that I would end up nothing but a crack whore. I just desperately wanted to belong, to feel loved, and to find myself.

I eventually met a girl named Lauryn at a Speech, Drama, and Debate tournament. Even as I still had feelings for someone else, I was really just looking to be validated, to try and pour out some of the intense emotions in my heart, and to have someone by my side. Lauryn and I quickly started dating, and almost as quickly broke up. But it turns out that Lauryn had a LOT of the same problems that I did, and we quickly reconnected and got into a very serious relationship. We both loved each other, but I fell for her in a way that scared her. I claimed that I was willing to do anything for her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

It was during this time that two important things happened. I turned 18, and immediately moved out of my parents house into what would become affectionately known as The Rug, with three of my best friends on the planet. And it was when I decided to pursue a career in the military.

My time in The Rug was my first taste of freedom and with that came a lot of responsibility and the beginning of rock bottom. I was stressed from working 40 hour work weeks on top of trying to just barely pass my senior year of high school. I started smoking weed with my friends to help relax. Lauryn came from a family of stoners and would join me nearly every night, out under the stars. But Lauryn and I started to fight and feel as though our relationship had a deadline, as I would soon be leaving for boot camp, and she would be going off to medical school.

We broke up. She ended things. And I truly hadn’t known what it was like to be heartbroken before then. I felt utterly alone. I had pushed away a lot of my friends to spend time smoking with Lauryn. I only saw my parents once every few weeks, and our relationship was practically nonexistent. So I turned to drugs. I started smoking weed more and more, as well as cigarettes. I was showing up to work high, and put every dollar I had ever saved into the habit. But I had found a new group of people to be with, who listened to my problems and provided my support. Slowly but surely I picked myself up and put the pieces of my life back together. I was still smoking almost every day, but I had a group of friends and had a handle on my depression. (Even if it was because I was just numbing it with drugs, I didn’t want to end my life for the first time in years)

And then I left for basic training. I was going to become a Marine. I went through three months of Hell, but it gave me two things that I had longed for all my life; Self confidence and self love. And now, I no longer feel gender dysphoria. I’m confident in who I am and truly do love myself. But I can still feel the weight of all the pain I carried inside for so long. I can still feel the icy claws of depression gripping my heart. I may be a lot better now, but I am a long way from healed, and I am terrified that one day I will be right back where I was.

[zainapbaraketcaryl]

Exclusive: The Walking Dead's Melissa McBride on the Season 7 finale

"It looks like war is coming. And it looks like people are heading to the front lines and we just have to wait and see what happens," actress Melissa McBride, who plays Carol on AMC's The Walking Dead, said in an exclusive interview with Syfy Wire.

With war looming between Rick's troupes and Negan's Saviors on Sunday's Season 7 finale (judging by the previews and clips that have aired), even Carol appears to have been drawn back into the fight. While Carol's had her issues about killing, so much so that she left both Alexandria and the Kingdom to get away from people, Negan may just discover that you don't mess with Carol's friends.

McBride (The Mist, American Gothic) chatted with Syfy Wire about Carol's return to the fight, which character she's most worried about as a viewer and those Walking Dead death dinners.

I'm excited for the season finale and sad all at the same time.

Melissa McBride: I can't believe it's here already. It's really weird. The first half is a little slow, even while we're shooting it. It's like when do we get to mid-season. And then after the mid-season it just flies. It's crazy.

You weren't on a lot of episodes during the first eight.

Yeah, that was real slow (laughs).

It was especially slow for you and Lennie (aka Morgan). But I think things have picked up since then.

But it is weird though. I mean no matter how many episodes, it seems like that first half is always ... I guess it's just because we were starting out. It's grueling and it's hot and it's horrible. And in the second half of the season, [it goes by so quickly]. It's done, and you've got to say goodbye to people.

What's it like for you when you are not on episodes? Do you have any clue what's going on with the show?

I still get the script, so I know what's happening.

Do you know before you get the script if you're going to be in an episode?

Vaguely. But you take it with a grain of salt because things can always change. They say you may or may not be in this episode.

It's really interesting that Carol has had an evolution over the years, and now she's having a re-evolution, almost. From being an abused wife to losing her child to becoming a protector of those around her. And then she left both Alexandria and the Kingdom in an attempt to go it alone.

I know. It's her pattern. But this one is less superficial. It's not just putting on a sweater ... This one she was just at her end. Like she said there is just nothing left. Going through the days knowing what you've done, and what you're capable of doing if you had to, there was just nothing left. I mean if that is what you have to do, just the death and destruction, [losing your] humanity, everything, not knowing who to trust, knowing that maybe you're just like these people that you're fighting, and trying to protect yourself ... You become the monster. All of that stuff. She just had to go to either save herself or just do away with herself.

But apparently she didn't move far enough away from the Kingdom. For some reason she's been surprised when everybody keeps showing up.

It was kind of funny I thought, for somebody who just really wants some solace and time to sort through and think about things. And ding dong. Ding dong.

What area your thoughts about the Kingdom?

I like the Kingdom. It's a beautiful place. Just hitting that against the darkness of the world. Going from point A to point B is just so dark, and then all these other groups are infiltrating your space. And then going and killing people in their sleep. The Kingdom is just a paradise.

It did appear that the initial attack on the Savior facility and Carol's efforts to save Maggie when they were captured, might have been the breaking point for her. Why wouldn't Carol want to stay in the Kingdom? I think of all the places you could live if I was in that world, the Kingdom is the one I would want to live in.

There's this colorful king and there is music and there are children laughing and running around and that's really beautiful. I don't even think Carol thought she was even worthy of a place like that. Anyway she had work to do on herself.

Now she's back in the fold it looks like. In the previews, we see Carol with the Kingdom group holding a gun and looking ready to go after Negan. I know you can't say much but can you tease us about the finale?

Well, there is certainly the culmination, as you could see in the preview.

Looks like a war is coming.

They have what looks to be like procured guns now for the Alexandrians and Hill Top. It looks like the Kingdom is on board.

And they've got the people from the dump. It appears Rick's got everything lined up now, but we'll see.

What scares me as a viewer is that Eugene is over there in the naughty camp.

Yes he is, that bad boy. I just talked to Josh McDermitt.

You did? What's he doing over there?

He's like why is everybody beating down on Eugene? He's just trying to survive.

I get it. I understand.

Not that Carol has gotten any criticism for her actions.

Exactly. But he's over there directing traffic and moving things along.

If Carol does not survive, what do you want to say to fans?

Thank you for watching (laughs) ... I love you ... Thank you for the support. Thank you for rooting for Carol like I did.

And if she does survive, what are your hopes for Carol?

I would say the same things to the fans as well if she did survive (laughs).

It would be nice if she found some peace.

That's my hope for everybody.

Not too soon though. It looks like Carol's got another battle to fight.

You don't have a show if everything's all peaceful. And then something awesome happens and it's all done. And that just can't happen ... It's just so strange to think of a world like that. You've just become so totally immersed. It's everything that Carol was fighting herself against becoming that thing that feels so awful. But it has to be done the one way. Is there really another way? If she's just going to come to the realization that is the only way. And is that some sense of peace? I don't know. All of them sort of carry that battle, that this is the worst humanly thing possible. But there has got to be some beautiful things to make it all worthwhile. There has to be. And I want them to experience that beautiful thing. And that's what keeps them going and going and going.

What has been your biggest challenge this season as an actress?

My biggest challenge this season? I think it certainly would be that you get a momentum going when you're shooting and then it's cut off. And then you wait a couple of episodes and you go back. That's kind of challenging doing that stop and go. But then it's exciting too because there's a lot more story to tell and you have an expanded cast.

It's a big cast now.

You get to go to the set and watch people shooting and stuff, those things that you're not in.

There are basically six communities interacting.

I know. One of the things that was fun was going to set on a day off where you can just mosey around and check out the sets and things like that, and some sets are just monumental. That whole heap set was incredible. That was seriously just mounds and mounds of trash.

The garbage set?

The Heapsters.

Oh, the scavenger garbage people.

The trash people (laughs). The Trashsters? I don't know what it's called. Yes, the heaps of the trash. I mean the set is just wondrous to stand there and behold the piles of trash that's on the lot where we shoot. Like where did they get it? Who piled it up? How did they make it so cool and how did they keep it up? It's crazy.

You've got the Heapsters, the Oceanside women. And you've got Negan's Saviors, as well as the Kingdom, Hill Top and Alexandria.

Yes. That's a lot of people. That's a lot of sets, and a lot to shoot. A lot of stories to uncover.

What has surprised you this season, the thing you weren't expecting?

The trash people. They were a surprised. The fact that Eugene's selling into Negan's camp over there.

He drank Negan's Kool-Aid.

Yeah, that's a surprise. It's hard since we've been out of production on the season and I'm trying to remember a lot about it. Even in the finale there's several surprises in this finale coming up. This script, just reading through it, I found myself saying, "What!!! No, no way!!!"

It appears likely we'll lose some characters this week in the finale. When characters die, what's it like for you? There has to be some emotion attached to the deaths.

It has a lot of emotion attached to it. And then also we'll usually get notified ahead of time when that happens. But it always makes just reading the script ... you want it to be good. This better be good. But to lose a cast member and to think that they're not going to be around in that capacity anymore, anyway it's sad. And there's mourning and there's also celebration, personal celebration among us for the one moving on. It's just a celebration that they were with us the whole time that they were and that they're undoubtedly going to do well moving forward with what they do.

I heard that there's a death dinner.

Yeah. It started off in a restaurant and then I think the walls were too thin for the amount of crying that we wanted to do. So we moved it to a safe place where we can emote and we wouldn't have to hold back, and we could really just be able to celebrate that person.

When is Carol's time? What thoughts do you have about her dying?

Well, I kind of don't. I mean it's become part of the water. It's not just a bubble in a water. It's just become part of the water that that's going to happen. So I don't necessarily go there. I just don't think about it as much. It's an inevitability, I suppose. My overall general thought is, like everybody else, this just better be good. I don't want to fall through a crack and drop twenty feet to my death. That wouldn't be fine.  

It's got to be a worthy death. A chance to save everybody or something.

Yeah. I just hope she doesn't trip and fall. That's all. She saves somebody and she's all happy and then something happens, but she didn't have her eyes open.

I hope at some point Carol finds happiness. In some ways I think she's had the toughest road of all of them.

If everybody were happy this would just be a totally different show.

Yes, it would.

I kind of like the show.

It would be nice if she could be have a little peace though.

What I want is hard, tough, horrifying challenges ahead. That makes it interesting. With something beautiful in-between. That makes it all worthwhile.

Do you have anything else coming up you wanted to talk about?

Nope (laughs). I may take a nap in about five minutes. We can talk about that.

[writingsubmissions]

Fights to Make: UFC 210

Daniel Cormier (beat Anthony Johnson) vs. Jon Jones: What a weird night. I have a feeling the story of UFC 210′s main event title fight is going to be Anthony Johnson’s mental state, since he weirdly insisted on wrestling with Cormier, got tapped out, and then retired, but don’t let that distract you from the fact that Daniel Cormier is pretty freakin’ awesome, as he ate some shots from Johnson and battled through a broken nose to get that win. At this point, Cormier against Jones is the obvious fight to make, assuming Jones can make it to the fight, as Jones looks like the only guy that can beat Cormier (though with Rumble out of the picture, I’m now unsure who can beat Jones). It looks like Jimi Manuwa is the back-up plan if Cormier/Jones can’t come together - such is the state of light heavyweight - but come on now.

Gegard Mousasi (beat Chris Weidman) vs. Chris Weidman (lost to Gegard Mousasi): Once again, what a weird night. Mousasi/Weidman was a hell of a fight that turned into an absolute fiasco, as the fight was stopped when referee Dan Miragliotta thought that Mousasi struck Weidman with an illegal knee. Admittedly, it was a fine enough call in real time, since it took multiple replays to even be sure that the knee was actually legal, but basically, from there, it’s unclear about what protocol should’ve been used and even what actually happened. Everyone involved apparently looked at the instant replay - which for whatever reason, is against New York commission rules - and it’s unclear if the fight was able to be restarted, or why it was stopped; it seems to be because the cageside doctor thought Weidman, who admittedly seemed pretty out of it, could no longer continue, rather than some weird technicality, but...my head is starting to hurt, and the whole thing was a mess. You could go any number of directions from here, but what the hell, why not just run it back, particularly with a card this July in Long Island, that one assumes Weidman is going to headline. You could make the case against a rematch, but it’s not like there’s an obvious other direction, and given how good the fight was up to the controversial finish, I wouldn’t mind seeing it again.

Charles Oliveira (beat Will Brooks) vs. Beneil Dariush: Well, in a way, I guess we should’ve expected that Charles Oliveira would look awesome and run through Will Brooks - Oliveira’s been one of the more frustratingly inconsistent talents on the roster, and after two poor performances in losses, it’s about right that he would suddenly bust out his most impressive win in years. It’s unclear how much of Oliveira looking good is just lightweight being his natural weight class or Brooks being overrated, but I did enjoy that even the post-fight translator left out Oliveira’s pleas to return to featherweight, so everyone seems to realize that Oliveira seeing how far a return to 155 can take him is the way to go. I like the idea of putting Oliveira against Dariush, who’s a top ten fighter coming off a brutal knockout loss to Edson Barboza - Dariush can probably chew up Oliveira on the feet, but there’s the possibility we get some grappling exchanges between two of the best submission artists on the roster, so sign me up.

Kamaru Usman (beat Sean Strickland) vs. Alex Oliveira: So, Kamaru Usman’s pretty freaking great. Usman’s fight against Sean Strickland figured to be a fairly even bout between two of the best rising prospects in the welterweight division, and Usman just annihilated him, working his takedown game early and then just mixing things up on a battered Strickland, who essentially had zero effective offense over the course of the bout. Really, the only question now is how Usman’s game holds together against someone who he can’t take down (or is so dangerous on the ground that he wouldn’t want to), but, well, good luck finding that opponent. There’s a few different ideas for Usman’s next fight - Gunnar Nelson is a good one if UFC wants to push Usman into a lower-level main or co-main event, or even the winner of June’s Dong Hyun Kim/Colby Covington fight - but I love the idea of him taking on Alex “Cowboy” Oliveira, who’s coming off a career-best win over Tim Means. Oliveira has sort of evolved his game into sort of a power grappler, thanks to his good old-fashioned farm strength, and he might be one of the few guys that can stop Usman from imposing his will, and then we’ll see where things go from there.

Cynthia Calvillo (beat Pearl Gonzalez) vs. Jamie Moyle: Calvillo looked good once again, beating the debuting Gonzalez rather handily, and it seems like UFC is firmly in the Cynthia Calvillo business, with Dana White comparing her to stars like Conor McGregor and Joanna Jedrzejczyk. Um, okay. Calvillo’s a good prospect, but that all seems like a bit much, especially for someone who’s still so raw and unproven - if UFC’s that high on her, they may rush her in over her head, but instead I’ll give her a modest step up in Jamie Moyle, who had a solid run in Invicta and on TUF, and got an impressive UFC debut win over Kailin Curran in December.

Myles Jury (beat Mike De La Torre) vs. Darren Elkins: After taking all of 2016 off, Myles Jury’s return fight went as perfect as it possibly could’ve, as Mike De La Torre’s aggression left him open for Jury to just run through him and score a first-round submission win. Jury’s never been the most interesting guy, but he’s talented, and this is the first time in a while I remember him showing a particular level of dynamism. So what the hell, let’s try moving him up the featherweight ladder, and let’s start with Elkins, the hard-nosed grinder gatekeeper supreme of the division, who’s coming off that amazing comeback win over Mirsad Bektic last month.

Thiago Alves (beat Patrick Cote) vs. Ryan LaFlare: Alves surprisingly put together his best performance since his comeback from injuries back in 2014, looking sharp here in keeping Cote at bay and hitting some powerful single strikes. Alves looks physically old - despite somehow being only 33 - but this fight suggested he has a few years left as a veteran gatekeeper, assuming he stays healthy. Unfortunately, I don’t see anyone obvious for him to gatekeep at the moment - let’s go with LaFlare, who’s been hanging around the fringes of relevancy for a while now and could use a solid big-name opponent.

Gregor Gillespie (beat Andrew Holbrook) vs. Marc Diakiese: Gillespie is probably a natural featherweight rather than a lightweight, but that hasn’t hurt him yet, as he continued his winning ways by obliterating Holbrook in just 21 seconds. I can understand why you’d want to keep them apart and let them build their own momentum, but screw it, let’s go with Gillespie against British prospect Marc Diakiese, coming off his own explosive knockout win last month. Gillespie’s a national champion wrestler, Diakiese is an athletic freak - I’d love to see how the styles of the two would interact.

Will Brooks (lost to Charles Oliveira) vs. Josh Emmett (lost to Desmond Green): I have no idea where Brooks goes from here - the former Bellator champ is a better fighter over five rounds than three, so a bumpy path up the lightweight ladder wasn’t exactly unexpected, but Oliveira looked like a layup of a style matchup, and instead Brooks just lost in ridiculously one-sided fashion. No obvious next fight calls out to me, so let’s go with Team Alpha Male product Emmett, who lost on this card - Emmett’s a solid enough, well-rounded fighter, and is a good test just to see if Brooks can get his career back on track.

Patrick Cummins (beat Jan Blachowicz) vs. C.B. Dollaway: Cummins, amazingly, took a bunch of abuse early and actually came back to win a clear decision over Blachowicz, but I still don’t really know where he goes from here - he’s an excellent wrestler and has some solid skills elsewhere, but his lack of defense and durability puts a clear ceiling on how far Cummins can go. You can keep ping-ponging him up and down the light heavyweight ladder - and given how thin 205 is, maybe just keep doing that and hope Cummins scores a breakthrough win - but instead I’ll pit Cummins against C.B. Dollaway, assuming Dollaway fights again after injuring his back in an elevator-related incident right before UFC 203. Dollaway could get off to a solid start in a new weight class, and Cummins is pretty much the exact right level of guy for that debut.

Magomed Bibulatov (beat Jenel Lausa) vs. Louis Smolka/Tim Elliott (Apr. 15) winner: Bibulatov didn’t have an amazing statement win over Lausa, but he looked good, and he does seem to be earmarked as a guy who could eventually challenge Demetrious Johnson. But, this being MMA, it’s hard to get too excited, since reports are he may essentially be an executioner for Chechen dictator Ramzan Kadyrov. Alright then. Assuming UFC doesn’t suddenly start caring about that and cuts him, Bibulatov should move up the ladder fairly quickly, and that should probably start with someone like either Smolka or Elliott, top-fifteen guys who face off next week in Kansas City.

Shane Burgos (beat Charles Rosa) vs. Chas Skelly/Jason Knight (May 13) winner: Burgos continues to look good, as he pretty much dictated the terms of his fight with Charles Rosa before eventually turning things up and scoring a stoppage midway through the third round. I could go either way about how far to push Burgos up the ladder next, but let’s give him a solid step up against either Skelly or Knight, who square off at UFC 211; either Skelly’s wrestling or Knight’s volume striking would provide an interesting challenge for the New Yorker.

Sean Strickland (lost to Kamaru Usman) vs. Michael Graves: Well, that was a bad loss. Strickland was kind of expected to lose to Kamaru Usman, but the fight wound up being the sort of one-sided shellacking that makes you question Strickland’s whole career trajectory. There’s still upside there, and assuming Michael Graves is eligible to fight again after a domestic violence incident last fall, that’d be a fine next test - Strickland’s takedown defense seems to be an open question, and Graves is a rugged wrestler.

Andrew Holbrook (lost to Gregor Gillespie) vs. Lando Vannata: Holbrook got absolutely smoked by Gillespie, and his win over Jake Matthews looks like an even weirder result in retrospect - or maybe it just says a ton of negative things about Matthews. Anyway, I view Holbrook as more cannon fodder than someone to actually develop, so he’s someone that I’d gladly put against, say, Lando Vannata or some other more interesting prospect that needs a rebound win.

Desmond Green (beat Josh Emmett) vs. Daniel Hooker/Ross Pearson (Jun. 10) winner: Green’s signing was a bit baffling, since he was kind of a boring grinder on the regional circuit, but he came through big - I expected him to beat Emmett (which a lot of people didn’t), but Green also suddenly flashed a much-improved striking game that actually made his win watchable. Daniel Hooker moves up to lightweight to face Ross Pearson in his native New Zealand this June, and the winner of that fight’s a fine step up to see how Green’s improvements continue to hold up.

Katlyn Chookagian (beat Irene Aldana) vs. Marion Reneau: Most people seemed to give the nod to Aldana, but her fight with Katlyn Chookagian was close enough that either fighter could’ve won. So Chookagian gets to hang out on the fringes of the rankings, and a bout with Reneau would make for a fun contest between two action fighters.

Jan Blachowicz (lost to Patrick Cummins) vs. Saparbek Safarov: Blachowicz had Cummins dead to rights early in their fight, but amazingly couldn’t capitalize, and eventually Blachowicz’s gas tank issues reared their ugly head en route to what became a one-sided loss. Blachowicz is flawed, but worth keeping around just so light heavyweight has a middle tier of the division basically, so Russian brawler Saparbek Safarov figures to be a rebound win that can keep Blachowicz in UFC.

Irene Aldana (lost to Katlyn Chookagian) vs. Veronica Macedo: The fight could’ve gone either way, but a decision loss suddenly puts Aldana at 0-2 in the UFC, which is a harsh blow for someone who was expected to be a bit of a Latin star for the promotion. Aldana’s performances have still been good enough that she should get a third shot, and Macedo, a raw, undersized grappler, figures to be a solid shot at a win.

Charles Rosa (lost to Shane Burgos) vs. Jared Gordon: Rosa had flashes in losing to a much better prospect in Burgos, but the Bostonian pretty much is what he is - a fun, if flawed, fighter. Jared Gordon was just signed off Dana White’s reality show, and Rosa would be a fun first opponent - plus it can continue the whole “Boston versus New York” angle that we saw with the Rosa/Burgos fight.

Pearl Gonzalez (lost to Cynthia Calvillo) vs. Kailin Curran: Well, Gonzalez certainly made a name for herself, but not in any way that she probably would’ve wanted to - she got some viral buzz when her breast implants were flagged by the New York commission, which has a rule on the books banning women with breast implants from boxing. Once things got hashed out, the fight was back on, and, well, Gonzalez looked as raw as she is, losing a rather one-sided decision. A fight with Kailin Curran is pretty perfect to make - both fighters are raw, and, frankly, might not be particularly good, but get some attention due to their looks, and it seems about right for them to essentially do a loser leaves town fight.

Jenel Lausa (lost to Magomed Bibulatov) vs. Naoki Inoue/C.J. de Tomas (Jun. 17) loser: I’ve never been particularly impressed with Filipino prospect Lausa, but hey, he at least survived three rounds with top Russian signing Bibulatov. Lausa against either Inoue or de Tomas, two Asian fighters debuting against each other in Singapore this June, seems like a natural fight to make for some upcoming Asian card.

Mike De La Torre (lost to Myles Jury) vs. Alex Enlund: In a rarity, De La Torre’s the only guy on this card who’s probably going to be cut, which is understandable, but a bit of a shame - De La Torre is too aggressive for his own good, which is fun, but often makes for complete blowout losses, like this one to Jury. There’s not a natural opponent for a pink slip derby at the moment, so let’s go with British prospect Enlund, who had his slated UFC debut last September scrapped at the last moment.