#i can’t keep my band in the same room for 10 minutes without writing something new you seriously think they’ve ONLY been rehearsing old stuf

[whatsupspaceman]

mcr doomposting is so funny. me when i get my band back together to practice for 2 years and don’t write a new album. and then break up again. be so real.

[a03bkdk]

no quirks bkdk fic rec list (p 2)

thirsty gay wingman fic by lalazee

((smut-14130-1/1))

Oct 11, 2019 "Thinkin abt besties-since-birth BkDk goin to college together, Dk begrudgingly bein Bkg's wingman w/chicks & lamenting his big gay crush. One nite, Bkg cant get laid, hes drunk in a shitty mood, so Dk propositions him, which turns into the best night ever & the WORST consequences."

My tweet got 366 likes & 66 reblogs, so that was more than enough reason to write about it.

romeo and romeo by supercrunch

((10473-1/1))

There’s a nasally howl from the neighbour’s place. Izuku looks up – it’s the very loud, very blond guy living in the unit opposite. They’re technically in separate blocks but their balconies are close enough they can see into each other’s living rooms. He’s dancing around in his pyjamas. Yodelling at the top of his lungs off-key, swinging his Pomeranian around by the armpits like a furry ragdoll. “You’re a dog! You’re a fluffy little yellow dog and you’re a pain in the ass but you’re still my favourite shit-stain, yeah!”

Izuku bursts out laughing. The neighbour’s head whips around. He yelps when he sees him, tossing the dog on the couch and scrambling out of view to hide in the hall.

Izuku drops the watering can and runs back inside to find his phone.Small Might: Guys. I've decided i have a crush on my neighbour.

(quarantine baking: a balcony romance)

mechanical bull by warschach

((smut-27573-1/1))

Katsuki has a track record of bad choices, it's a condition, but Izuku might be the one choice that's right.

battle of the bands by roadtripwithlucifer

((smut-168158-26/26))

'The rules are simple. Battle of the Bands. Local bands send in a single track to the radio station, and ten tracks are selected. Over the coming month, the songs play on the station and listeners vote on the top five. The top 5 play a live concert as part of a music festival, then the top 3 at a larger, indoor venue. The top two have the honor of opening on the first stop of All Might’s retirement tour – here. In Izuku’s home town. And finally, the winner gets the ultimate prize. Getting to spend the rest of the tour, forty cities, across the country as All Might’s opener. Three months. Same tour bus. Shoulder to shoulder with the greatest musicians the world has ever known.'Izuku Midoriya is a broke college student presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. But winning isn't gonna be easy, especially when one band's aggressive blonde frontman seems to be dead-set on making Izuku's life a living hell.

oh my god! they were roomates! by phatye

((smut-79108-57/57))

“Don’t go through my shit, and if there’s a tie on the door, then fuck off!” Katsuki growled. “...what?” he asked. Katsuki glared at him. “This is fucking college, and I plan on getting laid a lot! I don’t need some nerd cockblocking me! And what is with all the fucking toys here!” Katsuki had moved over to his shelves. “Are you a fucking child or something?!” This was not what he was expecting.

shades of blue by young_crone

((smut-22525-1/1))

Echoes filtered down the white hall as he descended the stairs toward the locker rooms, reverberating from the pool. A whistle, the sound of breaking water. He swiped the towel over his face, paused. The sliver of cerulean catching the sinking sun pouring through the skylights, the red and white lane buoys, the burn of chlorine.Izuku ran a hand through his curls, snagging on a knot. The clock on the wall reminded him how late it was. A minute wouldn't hurt. He worried his lip. Just a glimpse.

k-9 by warschach

((smut- 18304-1/1))

Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.

sucker punch by warschach

((smut-41551-1/1))

But, whatever, Disney Boy over there was—

Prettying up real damn good that Katsuki got kind of distracted—totally understandable, like god those CGI pine eyes—and didn’t see the straight path he made for the metal trash bin in the center of the area until he was tipping forward and waist deep in discarded bottles, plates, balled up tissues sticky with he prayed was chocolate ice cream and nacho cheese.

Mina howled behind the gate. “Look, Katsuki returned to his home.”

(or Katsuki works security at Six Flags and moonlights as a derby dude and continuously looks uncool around Izuku)

may I take your order, dipshit? by supercrunch

((6373-1/1))

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

raise me so high (your sins become my pedestal) by stardust_painter

((smut-10804-2/2))

After his boyfriend cheats on him, Izuku wants to do something stupid. The question is how stupid does he want to be.

The answer is very stupid apparently.

eye for an eye or whatever by tobiyos

((smut-4049-1/1))

“I’ll make it up to you!” Izuku says brightly, lifting his head from Katsuki’s lap.

Katsuki’s eyes narrow but he isn’t still pushing Izuku away so. Progress. “Fuck are you gonna do to make it up to me?”

“Hmm…” Izuku says quietly, tapping at his chin. “Oh! You’re still a virgin, right?”

Katsuki chokes on his own spit and promptly renews his efforts of pushing Izuku away by the forehead. “Fuck off,” he wheezes, “get out of my room.”

leap of faith by ladyofsnails

((28771-4/4))

Midoriya Izuku is just a random kid who loves art, analyzes everything, and is obsessed with the (in)famous hero Mighty Spider. He's got a loving mother, a great uncle, and maybe not too many friends that aren't those two but he's working on it.

And then a random cute boy shows up at his school, a spider bites him, he meets his hero under the worst possible conditions, and it all goes to hell. Now he's got villains on his tail, a promise to keep to a dead guy, and a washed-up hobo as his mentor.

Here goes nothing.

green is the warmest color by gloriousporpoise

((smut-12287-2/2))

“Woah, someone call the fire department,” Eijirou says, elbowing Katsuki squarely in the ribs. “That guy is smokin.’”

“I literally hate you.”

Here’s the thing, though. Eijirou’s a certified dumbass, but his current observation isn’t even a little bit wrong, much to Katsuki’s displeasure.

“Think you can get his number?”

Or, Bakugou is a painter without a muse.

you and i collide by ethereals

((smut-20442-9/9))

And not that Bakugou’s the type to sexualize a potentially dead body; especially one that he just accidentally murdered, but the man has some pretty solid DSL’s. He would hit it, with more than just his car.

OR

in which rich fratboy! bakugou is a badass who accidentally hits poor med student!izuku with his car and chaos ensues therefore.

97.6 FM by jamjars

((smut-32249-3/3))

Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Or Radio Host! Baugou x Listener! Midoriya

give me that sweet love by xsxuxgxax

((smut-32768-9/9))

Things Katsuki needs to excel at: be hot, be clever and pretend to be nice, let Izuku kiss him publicly, let Izuku fuck him privately…

(sugar baby katsuki and sugar daddy izuku pretty much)

dance with me by astralchaos

((30161-10/10))

Mina pulled up a video of a young man, seemingly teen, dancing to a popular new hit, and Izuku felt his heart drop to his stomach. His skin prickled and felt clammy as he started sweating nervously, not daring to move or make a noise. His eyes were glued to the screen but he didn’t see anything – his brain was too busy going into overdrive and freaking out.

Because Mina was showing him a video of himself. The one he uploaded last night.

How on Earth did she find this? He had barely a few thousand views, he wasn’t popular, and it’s not like he was even any good, especially compared to her or Kacchan–

“That move was sexy as hell,” Kacchan said, and that was when Izuku realized that his childhood friend – his longtime crush – also leaned in to watch the video Mina was showing him.

puppies puppies by Esselle

((15491-2/2))

"So after doing all that," Katsuki says, "you're just going to settle here? Tatting up wannabe bad boys?"

"You think all guys who have a lot of tattoos are wannabes?" Midoriya asks, so smoothly that it throws Katsuki.

"Wh—no, I mean—maybe!" Katsuki says. "You'd know best, wouldn't you? Are you a bad boy?"

The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it, and he regrets them immediately. There's a figurative list of things that one should never do, and probably high up on it is asking dark-haired sailors with ocean green eyes and black swirls of ink all across their barely concealed muscles if they are bad boys.

--

Katsuki thinks he has everything he needs in life: a successful pet shop, an occasionally reliable assistant, and the unconditional love of the twenty puppies he’s raising for adoption. But when the tattoo parlor next door hires Midoriya Izuku, a hot sailor with an affinity for dogs, it makes Katsuki wonder if he might need something more.

Like… a piece of that ass. Maybe. He’s figuring it the hell out as he goes.

im gonna make a part 3 later ergaegrggjnjuvuh

[hongism]

at the end of the day - p. seonghwa 18+

day 10 of kinktober: lovemaking - park seonghwa warnings: explicit smut, unprotected sex, soft sex, marking, creampie, fingering, tooth-rotting fluff, it’s so soft I can’t believe I wrote it, literally lovemaking, im broken after writing it wc: 1.6k genre: smut, fluff, pwp, 18+

​​

“Hi,” you greet, tone quiet. Seonghwa steps over the threshold, and the door snaps shut without much noise. His shoulders remain slumped forward, clear evidence of his exhaustion, but he still manages a somewhat cheery greeting in response.

“Hi, baby, how was your day?” He comes closer to where you’re seated at the dining table. Papers are strewn across the wood, and Seonghwa doesn’t even need to take a glance to know that you’re still struggling with schoolwork.

“Long,” you answer even though he already understands just from your expression. Likewise, he nods in agreement, smile stretching a little less than before.

“Seems we both had tough days then.” Seonghwa leans forward and rests his hands on the back of your chair. The gaze he offers is as soft as ever. You sit up straight only to push your head back against his stomach. “I’ll take a quick shower, then we can go to bed, yeah?”

“Sounds good,” you hum. Seonghwa steps away from your chair, and you watch him disappear into the bedroom with a small sigh. The mountain of work before you still looms, but it’s the last thing on your mind at the moment. Sleep would be nice, but cuddling with Seonghwa would be even better at this point. Thus, you push away from the table and amble to the bedroom.

You can hear the soft trickles of the shower in the bathroom, and maybe on a night where you both weren’t so tired, you might be daring enough to surprise Seonghwa in there. Rather, you merely slip your pants off, crawling under the sheets to nestle in the center of the bed while you wait for Seonghwa to join you.

It doesn’t take too long for him to come out, towel around his neck, and a pair of sweats hanging loosely at his hips. You both instinctually smile at one another as soon as you make eye contact, and you huff out a laugh through your nose.

“What’s that look for?” Seonghwa inquires, bringing the towel down and dropping it on your head once he’s closer to the edge of the bed.

“Nothing, nothing,” you counter. “You’re just cute.” The towel slips down to the mattress, slightly damp from the moisture on Seonghwa’s skin, and he bends over you to press a quick kiss to your forehead.

“You’re the only cute one here, baby girl. Now scoot over and make some room for me.”

“At least put the towel up first,” you grumble, tossing it back at your boyfriend before shifting to the other side of the bed. Seonghwa feigns annoyance with a slight roll of his eyes but picks up the towel regardless. He carries it all the way back to the bathroom before returning to you, slipping into bed at last.

You greet him with a kiss; your lips press against the tip of his nose first, then two small pecks on either cheek before finally finding purchase on his plush and rosy lips. They’re soft on yours, the gentlest pressure that leaves a blossoming warmth in your chest. It isn’t needy or full of lust – merely a small signal of the love and affection you have for each other.

“I love you,” you murmur. The words linger in the air between you for a few moments, Seonghwa’s only response being the same affectionate and tired grin. Even when he does do something, it isn’t verbal. He closes the minimal distance between your lips once more. The kiss contains a bit more pressure this time, yet again it doesn’t hold any desperation. You don’t let your lips part for a second as Seonghwa tugs you closer, hand drawing around your waist, and he tugs you forward and forward until your chest is flush against his. It only takes a slight tug for him to pull you on top of him, rolling onto his back so that you can straddle his hips comfortably.

A sigh of content leaves you. It’s one that Seonghwa eats right up, and his tongue caresses your lower lips with the same amount of care and softness as every other touch he’s providing. He slips his hands lower, tracing each curve and dip of your body until he reaches your hips and dances over the bare skin there. It doesn’t take much for him to let those same fingers slide up under your shirt. They leave goosebumps in their wake, gliding and shifting until he has his thumbs looped around the band of your underwear, and it’s with an unspoken agreement that he tugs them down. You have to assist him in getting them fully off, straightening one leg after the other until the undergarments are pulled away completely. He doesn’t bother doing the same for his own – mostly because he’s not wearing underwear, but also because he just shimmies his sweatpants down enough to bare his cock to the cool air in the bedroom.

Seonghwa doesn’t move any faster than he is; he maintains the same sweet and languid pace even as he slips two fingers between your legs and presses them past your already sopping folds. You moan into his mouth at the sensation, shifting your hips so that he can have better access to your core. His tongue breaches your lips at the same moment he pushes his fingers into your tight hole, and you would moan if you weren’t midway through a gasp of surprise. You let him control the kiss, instead focusing on the feeling of his fingers inside you, but you can’t keep from reaching down to take his member in your hand. It’s his turn to groan as you move over his cock with sloppy jerks, collecting the precum gathered on his tip and guiding it over the rest of his length.

“I want you, Hwa,” you whisper after pulling back to look him in the eye. His smile returns, and he gives you a small nod before slipping his fingers out of you. His hand meets yours on his shaft, lips coming to rest on the corner of your lips. He rubs the juices of your arousal over his cock then pushes your hips back to align with your hole. When he sinks into your velvet walls, you can’t stop the whimper that falls from your lips. The stretch burns and aches deep inside you, and Seonghwa slows his movements until he barely moves at all. Folding your hands around the back of his neck, you dug yourself down to his lips and kiss him as deeply as possible. Seonghwa returns the kiss with equal passion and penetrates you until he’s buried all the way in your cunt.

“I love you,” he says, parting from your lips to speak the words. “Let me make love to you.”

“You always have permission to do that,” you reply. You release his neck to cup his cheek, and he presses his face against your palm without hesitation. “So go ahead and do it, my love.”

Seonghwa’s grip on your hips tightens, and in one swift movement, he swivels you until your back collides with the mattress. His mouth overtakes yours, tongue pushing in without hesitation, and you can only moan in response. He rocks his hips against yours. The groan that leaves his chest is nothing short of heavenly, and you’d beg just to hear that sound over and over again, but he provides it without you begging at all. Each thrust has you seeing stars; his cock rubs over your sweet spot without cease, and the pace he maintains is still as languid as before. It feels different this time, like he’s putting all his feelings into each thrust. Not chasing after his own pleasure or an orgasm – just undivided attention on you and making you feel good.

It doesn’t take long for you to lose yourself in the pleasure running through your veins. Seonghwa is right there with you, quiet moans escaping him as more time passes, but it’s evident that he’s holding out until you orgasm. His thrusts only stutter once your walls begin to tighten around him. The band holding you back from your orgasm snaps as he thrusts particularly deep, and you arch your back off the bed. White fills your vision, red hot pleasure searing your body from head to toe, and Seonghwa kisses you through it. The warmth only persists because he cums inside you a second later, painting the inside of your walls with white.

You don’t dare to move for several minutes after and just focus on Seonghwa’s weight against your body and the softly spoken praises he whispers into the shell of your ear. When he does move away from you, you throw your arms around his waist and squeeze him tight so that he can’t leave.

“Let’s just stay like this a while,” you murmur, the exhaustion clearly audible in your tone. “Please.” Seonghwa laughs lightly, then brings his lips back to your forehead.

“Okay, baby girl. Anything for you.”

...

a/n: not funny. i cried. this is too soft for me. expect hard shit to make up for it ;-;

link to kinktober masterlist

taglist: @noonawriter​​ @daniblogs164​​ @felixity​​ @okokokok123-45​​ @jeonartemis​​ @crescent-hwa​​ @wheresmymoniat​​ @nlost21​​ @lonely10vely​​ @atletino​​ @monbecaratstayarmy​​ @hello-its-ya-boi​​ @onyxblade01​​ @kimnamshiks​​ @poutychangbinnie​​ @toothlessshiber​​ @xxbluestrifexx​​​ @lokihoeforhyunjin​​ @ice-cold-taeyong​​ @essantial​​ @blueish-sun​​ @etaerealboy​​ @notbeforelong​​ @wideawakeficrecs​​ @adestinyuwu​​ @simpforhyunjin​​​ @naajix​​​ @lilyliline21​​ @leaz-kpop-life​​ @hyunjinsicedamerican0​​ @marigold-bebee​​ @changbinswifu​​ @xcookiemonsteer​​ @ddalgi-yong​​ @seoha​​ 

unable to be tagged: @sailing-goddess-of-ateez @gingerale-addict

[gretavanbitch]

Tangled up in blue- 2

warnings- drugs lol 

One month and six weeks prior- 

Keeping herself busy when Josh was gone was no easy task for Penny. She tried her hardest to focus on work, sitting in front of rows of developed film, feeling burned out. There was no good reason for this feeling, simply that she was lonely. Sighing, she thought of the only thing to relax her and calm her mind without Josh, weed. 

Her bare feet padded across the hardwood floors of their loft softly, overalls rustling slightly as she made her way to their bedroom. She walked to the brown cabinet next to her side of the bed and pulled out a small encrusted gold box. This box was opened probably too often when she was home without Josh, but also when he was there. She pulled out a filter, and papers. Then taking a bunch off the gram, she grinded it slowly, closing her eyes and wishing she was somewhere else. As her hands moved absentmindedly, she imagined what the boys were doing right now. They were probably on some tour bus or green room getting drunk, which sounds a lot more fun than getting high alone. She imagined Josh, sitting in some plush chair with some extravagant jumpsuit on, smiling and laughing with his friends, without her. She decided to shoot him a text, just some reassurance that he was still there. 

Penny: Hey babe, Jake try to murder you yet? 

Sent: 8:23pm 

She sat, licking the joint closed and waiting eagerly for a reply from Josh. After five minutes, she decided that she would put on a record and smoke, just to pass the time. Joni Mitchell’s Blue started to reverberate off the walls of the apartment, causing her to smile softly to herself. She remembered back to the first road trip she took with Josh, playing this album over and over again until they reached the other side of the country. His hair would run wild with the windows down, and a smile never left his face that week. Snapping back to reality, she brought the joint to her lips and lit her lighter, inhaling deeply and falling back into the couch. After the record had run through both sides, she felt like she needed to do something with her day other than smoke and miss Josh. 

Once again, the rows of film stood daunting before her. It was as if they were the royal guard for an impenetrable force in which her motivation was protected. With a hazy mind, she started flipping through the photographs of the recent week, smiling wider with each one. Your favorite was one that you took of Josh outside of a cabin in Washington. He stood away from the camera, but was smiling straight at it, teeth shining and bandana around his neck. That was the most beautiful sight she had ever seen, the purest form of natural beauty. Nothing like anything, ever. She also chuckled to herself as she flipped to one of Sammy biting Josh’s hand, and Jake posed dramatically against a boulder.

She loved the way that the light reflected with the camera lens, and the way that it interacted with the subject. Just as she was about to write down a title for the series, her phone buzzed on the table next to her, lighting up with a notification from Josh. 

Josh: Hey mama, just got off stage, it went great. I wish you could've seen it. How did the film come out? 

P.S, Jake has tried to stab me sixteen times already. 

Sent: 12:34AM

Penny: It came out great, here see. 

Attachment: 3 images 

Sent 12:35AM 

Josh: Beautiful, my love. You have a gift for manipulating the light, it's amazing. Can we talk or are you too tired? 

Sent: 12:36AM 

The thought of talking to Josh without seeing his face and expressions change with each word, caused her chest to hurt with want. So instead, she clicked the Facetime button rather than call. 

Her phone vibrated for a few seconds, panging in her ear loudly. Yet within the blink of an eye, she was greeted with her favorite pair of brown eyes staring onto the screen in front of him. She smiled, and floofed her hair to make sure it didn’t look too trash. 

“Hey pretty lady,” he smiled at her. Josh was laying on his back on a bed, presumably on the tour bus. He was lacking in a shirt, but the beads that always decorated his neck hung down past his chest. His hand was stretched above his head, and the phone was angled up from his stomach. 

“Hey pretty boy,” she responded, positioning the phone in a more comfortable position on the couch, “watcha up to rockstar?” 

“you know the usual, living the life, but I really really really wish you were here, everybody does.” His eyes blinked slowly, showing signs of tiredness, but he would never reveal that to you right now, your time was too precious. 

“I do too, trust me its so fucking depressing here with just me and Marely,” she sighed, reffering to the tabby cat that her and Josh adopted together a few months ago. 

“aw how is she?” He asked, smiling into the phone. Penny moved the camera to her right, displaying the cat that was curled up by her hip. 

“She is great, but wishes she was living the rockstar life,” Josh chuckled to Penny’s response. 

“Okay but seriously Pen, can’t you just call sick for one week, say you got really bad food poisoning,” he pleaded. 

“If I say that, then I feel like I will accidentally manifest that I will actually get food poisoning for a week,” she laughed into the phone. 

“fair point, but it’s not the same without you here, I’m not the same without you here,” his tone shifted to a more serious one with every word, looking straight into her eyes through the screen. 

“I mean technically I’m on studio time right now, so they wouldn’t know if I came with you for a week or two...or they would fire me,” she scratched her chin, thinking out the possibilities in her head. 

“If they fire you, then just go freelance, they never fully understood your work anyways,” he smirked at her, knowing that she always complained about the company she was hired by, repeating their failures for understanding creativity. 

“Alright Kizka, you drive a hard bargain,” Penny smiled. 

“Is that a yes?” Josh’s eyes widened at the blonde girl through the screen. 

“it is not a no.” 

“fuck yes, so I can book you a plane ride to California for tomorrow?” He now got up from the bunk, excitedly running to his computer. 

“Mhm, just tell me what time.” 

“Ok here’s one, leaves Nashville at 8, gets in Cali at 10,” Josh said, calculating the time difference in his head. 

“you are such a bad influence, Kizka,” Penny rubbed her forehead tiredly. 

“I will see you tomorrow my love, get some sleep okay?” he smiled at her tired expression, kissing the camera of his phone sweetly. 

“see you tomorrow.” and with that she hung up the phone and exhaled loudly. What just happened? One conversation with Josh and she hits the road. It makes her think back to when she didn’t have anyone, and spent years alone in her little studio apartment, taking photos of walls and birds. Now she would drop everything with the snap of his fingers. In her heart she knew that her dependency on him for happiness was not right, but she was too deep in. Her head was stuck underwater, surrounded by the cool rush of his love. The flaws went unnoticed by both of them in fact, just simply mistaking it for head over heels infatuation. 

As her head hit the pillow, she thought that the emptiness of the room was less significant as it was a few hours ago. Maybe it was the excitement of the idea of not sleeping alone tomorrow, or just the few minutes of hearing his voice. Whatever it was lulled her softly to sleep. 

In a hazy dream, she remembered her and Josh’s first kiss. It was outside of their favorite bar after their second date. He stood next to her, shoulder pressed to hers, and hand interlacing with her own. He was wearing his usual attire, a white long sleeved shirt and tan pants. Yet he looked extravagant, his energy was inherently outgoing. As he says, the Kizka’s have a “flair for flair”. The cool wind seemed to push the pair together, jostling her hair softly as he looked over at her. His eyes were slightly hooded, closed just a slightly against the wind. Her glances fell down to his cupids bow, admiring its shape, then to his lips where she wished she never had to leave. He noticed the shift in her gaze and did the same himself, smirking at her. She smiled, tugging his chin towards her. His hands laced through her hair, smiling into the kiss. Their lips met, and they fit together like they were made for each other, and no one else. 

Her alarm forced her out of the wonderful image that played in her sleep, jutting her eyes open to the harsh sunlight of the morning. She quickly packed an old leather suitcase with a few pairs of jeans, shirts, and dresses, knowing that she would be stealing jewlery and sweatshirts from Josh. In what seemed like five minutes she was at her gate, coffee in hand, and camera stowed in her carry-on bag. She decided to text Josh that she was about to board the plane, knowing that he was probably still asleep. 

Penny: Hey, boarding now. I’ll text you when I land

sent 8:05am

She then put her earbuds in, deciding on listening to the new album, just so she was prepared to sing alone at the shows. It wasn’t like she hadn’t memorized it the night it came out, but she always felt bad listening to it with Josh, it just felt odd to her. The first song to come on shuffle was Light My Love, and she nearly cried remembering the fireside performance she witnessed a not too long ago. 

The plane ride went by in what felt like minutes. Her mind was racing with so many thoughts, most about getting in trouble with work, but others about Josh and how excited she was to see him and the rest of the band. The tires of the plane landed in California with a jaulting thud, and she was brought out of her dissociation. 

She knew that Josh expected her to uber to the venue, after all he was probably just waking up now. So she called an uber, standing outside of LAX clad in an old Janis Joplin shirt, flare jeans, and her classic high heeled leather boots. Penny looked straight out of the 70′s, but Josh felt like the 70′s, a pair who perfectly complimented each other. 

The uber ride was bumpy and seemingly and hour too long. She finally reached the venue at 11:46, hastily thanking the driver and sauntering to the tour bus parked behind the stage. She knocked a few times on the door, and after the third time, she finally heard a groggy “what do you want” 

She smiled, pushing the door open with her foot and walking up the stairs, she was met with a pool of long brown hair and a very naked Jake laying on one of the bunks. Josh was nowhere to be seen. 

“Oh hey Penny, what are you doing here?” Jake asked casually, ignoring the fact that he was naked. She was not phased by the latter twins actions, after all, she spent a fair amount of time with the band and often felt like she was equally as close with all of the members. 

“Just lookin for my loverboy, any idea where he is?” She answered, leaning against on of the seats camly. 

“I think I remember him saying he wanted to go hear the acoustics of the empty stage, so maybe he’s there,” Jake answered groggily. 

“thanks,” she said as she made her way, now at a faster speed then before towards the back entrance of the venue. The staff didn’t seem to bat an eye at her as she hastily walked hallway after hallway until she reached the back of the stage. Then she saw him, standing with his arms out wide, silently absorbing the feeling of the empty arena. 

“babe?” she said, accidentally making it sound like a hushed whisper. 

The curly headed man then turned his head over his shoulder, smiling. His smile widened nearly ten fold when he saw the girl to his left. She looked amazing, her hair seemingly always falling in just the right way, she paused for a moment, reaching for something in her bag. 

“don’t move, and look forward again, just like you were before,” She smiled and clicked the shutter of the camera, knowing it would be beautiful, every photo with Josh in it is. She then put the camera away and ran into his arms, collapsing into his embrace. He hugged her tightly, moving his hands up and down her back. 

“I missed you so much my love,” He said into her hair. 

“I missed you more lover,” she replied. 

Hey pretty people! I hoped you liked this chapter, I may or may not write another either tomorrow night or by sunday! Asks are open for Jake or Josh imagines BTW!

[lawxbread]

hiya!!!can I ask for a scenario with some angsttt?😂😂I was thinking maybe sanji got hurt in a fight and was hiding his injuries but his fem!s/o found out? thanks so much in advance!! (I don't rly like nsfw smut stuff I just love angsty stuff for some reason loool)

(´• ω •`) ♡ Hey yo!! Thanks a bunch for requesting! I got so upbeat reading your ask since we all love Sanji, so I couldn’t wait to write it! Like you, I find myself appreciating writing/reading angst stuff lately so... your request came in handy !! I hope you enjoy it, have a nice and safe day! <3

I’d never think of you as a failure

Sanji x fem!reader

  Summary: Sanji has been acting weird since he came back from an exploration mission. Thanks to that, an excruciating event happened between you and Sanji. Obviously, you couldn’t help but try to figure out what’s going on with him. Sanji’s cheeling past with his family certainly has to do with it. Well, at least he has you to count on.

 Warnings: angst, disagreements, troubled past

Word count: ~1.7k

"I miss him..." You mumble to yourself as soon as you wake up, seeing the left side of your bed empty.

 It's been a few days since Sanji, your boyfriend, left the ship with Luffy, Robin, Franky, and Law's crew to explore an island. The band split into two groups to streamline the process of going in search of the blue poneglyphs. Consequently, you and the rest of the crew are in charge of keeping tabs on the ship, while the other group is using  Law's submarine since all of you agreed to meet at the next island.

 You and the others have been waiting for the rest of the crew as you already arrived on the encounter island four days ago.

  "Good morning, Nami." You greet the Straw hats' navigator while you approach Sunny's aquarium. She is sitting on the bench, "Morning, Y/N!". You both start a conversation, then you bring up the subject of the rest of the crew's members comeback, showing your worries about Sanji's safety. "I can't stand it anymore. I miss him so freaking much." You say as you cross your arms, with your hands gripping upper them. "I guess I've been used to be by his side." Nami can't help but give you a sad look. She tries to comfort you by saying they will arrive when you least expect it.

  Suddenly, You hear someone yells, "THEY'RE HERE!! LUFFY AND THE OTHERS!!"

 "Oh my god. And I want to earn a hundred million bellies!" Nami jokes as soon as she realizes the amused fluke. You don't hesitate a second and run towards the room's door in an attempt to check if it's true, with your heart pounding out of your chest, utterly desperate.

  You see Usopp in the ship's mainmast, with his hands screening his eyes from the sun's light as he tries to get a better view of the group coming. He can't stop smiling and screaming about the other group's return, giving you a glad feeling.

 "Oi!! Oi, oi, oi!" It's Luffy, happily waving at all of you. Your eyes automatically start looking for Sanji in the crowd. As soon as you see your boyfriend, without a second thought, you run towards him, immediately jumping out of Sunny, "Sanji!!".

 When Sanji notices you, a smile from ear to ear on his face appears. He opens his arms, implying to give you a tight hug.

 Quickly, you hug him. The warmth you feel when you both embrace each other is incomparable, "I missed you." Sanji whispers as he holds you. 

 When you are about to let go of the embrace, you slowly rub your arm over Sanji's right shoulder, "Ouch!" Sanji unintentionally lets out, as if he was in pain. "What happened??" You worriedly ask. "It's Nothing, Y/N-chan." Sanji grins while he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, "I'm okay. Don't worry." You can't help but fret about him. Still, you pass this matter over for a while.

Thereabout eight hours have passed since Luffy's group return. Since then, you've been spending this whole time with Sanji. 

 You are sitting on a bench in front of the kitchen countertop while you watch Sanji cooking the banquet for the celebration later, "You look tired.", you say with a concerned voice tone as you fold your hands together on the countertop. "How long has it been since you've slept decently?" Sanji scratches his neck with his index finger, "I'm not tired, Y/N-chan." Sanji replies while he puts some flour on the tip of your nose, leaving it entirely white. So then, he chuckles. "I've been sleeping well, don't worry." Afresh, he smiles, but you know he's hiding something from you. Sanji is unsettled, for sure.

  The big celebration starts, lots of food all over the dinner table, which follows the Straw hats' classic menu: basically, the favorite dish of each one of the members. All of these, prepared by your sweet boyfriend and, also, the best cooker you've ever met, Sanji. 

 Luffy approaches the table, his mouth drooling for complete. Expectedly, he starts eating a piece of meat. When suddenly he asks with his mouth full, "Where's Sanji?" He's right. Sanji said he was quickly going to go to the room of you both about 45 minutes ago. You lean back and look up, wondering why Sanji is taking so long. Owing to that, you get up from your seat, "I'm gonna go call him."

 An anxiety awareness comes as you walk towards your room. You don't know why, but you are having an awful feeling about Sanji's absence; a quickened breath takes over your lungs. Perhaps this is due to his behavior since he arrived. Genuinely, you know that he is not well, and it worries the hell out of you.

 Even though it's also your room, you try to respect Sanji's privacy, considering that you don't know what he is doing inside there. 

 In reason of that, you knock on the door. No answer. You try it again. Still no answer. You do it five more times, and Sanji doesn't reply. 

 So you decide to come in.

  You gradually open the door as you murmur, "Sanji?" 

 You take slow steps on the wooden floor. Sanji is not in the main room, so you call on his name using a louder voice, "Sanji!". Suddenly, a noise comes from the bathroom. 

  You immediately head over there. Hence, a feeling of shock erodes your body as you see Sanji failing to try to hide a big bruise on his right shoulder. You can't stop looking at the wound as you put your hands over your mouth in shock. The wound is really bad. It looks like it was an extremely strong punch's blow or something like that. Apparently, the injury has been there for about a week, so it's not recent. That is, Sanji was hiding it from you. 

  Sanji freezes and stares at you with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, " Y/N-chan..." His voice, a stuttering timbre. "Why didn't you tell me?" You ask him as you crease your brow and twist your mouth, trying to think of a logical reason that explains why he'd done that.

  Sanji is simply shocked. He presses his fingers firmly against the palm of his hand. As if he is holding on to the urge to do something he doesn't want at all. Unexpectedly, his eyes flood with tears. Sanji was holding back the urge to cry. Cry in front of you.

 "No, don't cry!! I hate it when you cry!!" You give him the saddest look you've ever had. He's paralyzed from head to toe. The only movement you see as you look at him is the tears running down his cheeks. 

 "Sanji!!!!" You shout to him while you fight back the craving to cry. Hands lead to your forehead as you feel your bloodstream on fire. Sanji is not saying a thing. He is doing nothing but cries and staring at you while he does so. "God...This is breaking my heart." Your voice is in a whiney tone, implying an inevitable shedding of tears. Then, eventually, your eyes well up.

  "J-just talk to me...Please." You beg. Sanji shakes his head slightly as if he is trying to take a kind of stupor away. He glances at you with a fake smile, "I'm sorry for not telling you." He wipes his tears with his left hand, "I don't know why I cried." Sanji artificially chuckles, "I'm okay."

 The cooker is lying to you again, so you confront him, "Stop telling me you're okay!!!!!" You exclaim. Sanji looks surprised at you. Then you add, "I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." And when he opens his mouth to answer you, you interrupt him, "And don't try lying to me again." You give him a severe look.

  A bleak silence takes over the bathroom for about 10 seconds. Sanji keeps staring at you, hesitating to speak the truth.

  But then, he decides to blow off steam to you. "I got hurt in a fight." He looks down, avoiding your glance, "I didn't wanna you to think..." A line appears between your brows. "To think I'm weak." He looks back at you, "Damn it! How pathetic am I for crying like a baby in front of you??!" Sanji sighs as he palms his forehead.

  You give Sanji a once-over, "Sanji!!!". He wide-eyed stares at you, "Why would you think that??" You can't help but be nervous, "I can't..." You cross your arms, "I can't just sit by and do nothing when obviously you're suffering." Further, Sanji is hesitating again. He lights a cigarette as a down look fills his face. When, finally, he confesses, "My family... used to treat me like..." Sanji blows a cigarette smoke, "... like a failure because they thought I wasn't strong enough."  Sanji admits as he squeezes his eyes shut, fighting back his tears. "I don't wanna you to think I'm a failure and to doubt my strength as they did." He adds, "That's why I hid my injuries from you." Sanji quivers his lips as you gradually approach him.

 "Sanji..." you mumble his name while you walk towards him. He opens his tearful eyes and gazes at you. When, suddenly, you hug him like you're never going to let him go, "I'd never, under any circumstances..." You look up, trying to maintain eye contact with him, "...Think of you as a failure." You smile with your eyes and mouth at him. 

 Sanji is shaken. Now he's crying again. But with joy. He can't stop smiling and crying at the same time. He holds you even more tightly in his arms; even though it is painful for his injured shoulder, he doesn't care. It's like he's anesthetized at the moment. 

 "Mmm...You're warm." He says.

  The words you just said ended up comforting Sanji's traumatized and troubled soul.  "Now, let me treat your injury properly." You ask him with a grin.

 Later, you're sitting on the edge of the bed with Sanji as you bandage his injured shoulder. When, suddenly, you stop bandaging and then, you kiss it, "If I could..." You say as you look at Sanji's profile face, "I'd kiss away all of your scars." Lovingly, you smile at him. At last, Sanji looks back at you. 

  A pleasant silence fills the room as he presses his forehead against yours, "I love you." Sanji whispers.

[gayenerd]

This 2009 interview with Billie is from something called Urban Male Magazine (lol) which is apparently a defunct “men’s interest” magazine in Canada.

In this interview Billie Joe Armstrong talks about his new album ‘21st Century Breakdown’, about the band and his family; how his boys keep him young, and how he’s living his dream.

Here, in the middle of a dilapidated looking industrial zone, only separated from San Francisco by the Bay Bridge, singer/guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong, bassist Mike Dirnt and drummer Tré Cool have established their headquarters, composed of countless rooms for living, working and playing, protected by an automatic gate and barbed wire.  As we enter the 37 year-old Billie Joe's room to talk to him about the new album '21st Century Breakdown', he is sitting at the piano, now black haired following a brief blonde phase, playing 'Last Night on Earth', one of the new songs.

Billie Joe, we have never heard you so romantic. In this piece you sing “You are the moonlight of my life”, and “I'm sending all my love to you”. How touched is your wife Adrienne in light of this declaration of love?

Billie Joe Armstrong: She should be moved by this song, which she is.

Who do you spend more time with? With your wife or the band?

BJA: With my wife. Without a doubt. I mean, I sleep with her. I don't sleep with Tré and Mike.

You have been together for over 15 years.

BJA: A hell of a long time, I know. Adrienne is my closest ally. She is also a very good barometer in respect of my songs. She has a different kind of distance, a different way of approaching our music. She is always pretty objective and honest about what she thinks of our songs.

Your sons Joseph and Jacob are 14 and 10. How do the two of them sharpen your understanding for youth culture?

BJA: At the moment I find it incredibly exciting how my oldest son is negotiating his way through puberty. I think that being a young person today is more stressful and complicated than it was in my day twenty years ago. The Internet has won so much control over the way kids live their lives, it's almost frightening.

You yourself were quite a tear away, a head through the wall type, am I right?

BJA: Right. But my boys are not like that, they are somehow…brighter and more hard-boiled than I was at their age. Their world is significantly larger than my world was back then.

You look 15 years younger than you are. How do you do that?

BJA: When we aren't touring I go to bed at the same time as my sons. Rarely later than midnight.

People, and presumably your children too, now prefer to download their music from the Youtubes and Itunes of this world. And now you come along and release '21st Century Breakdown', a monumental, approximately 70 minute long concept album consisting of 18 songs and encompassing every imaginable style of music. Have you lost your mind?

BJA: I write songs as if my life depended on it. The last album 'American Idiot' provided us with an opportunity, the opportunity to record another really powerful and ambitious album. We didn't want to miss the chance this time around. We had to overcome our uncertainties and really pull out all the stops to complete this album. But that was what motivated us. We weren't interested in shying away from success again, as we did with our albums at the end of the nineties. Now I can understand it when people say that we started pulling our punches after 'Dookie' (the 1994 breakthrough album with 'Basket Case'). We are proud of what we have made out of Green Day.

In 'Horseshoes and Handgrenades', you sing “I am gonna drink, fight, f**k and push my luck”. As one of the biggest rock stars on the planet, do you still have time to rip it up?

BJA: One should always make time for a bit of excess. However, I have become more cautious. A sense of responsibility towards myself and my family.

When was the last time you were drunk?

BJA: The day before yesterday (laughs).

It has taken you three years to write this album and record it with the help of the Nirvana and Garbage producer Butch Vig. Was completing the follow-up to 'American Idiot' something of a Herculean task?

BJA: Yes, it was. '21st Century Breakdown' demanded much more from us, was far harder to realise than 'American Idiot'. Originally we had the idea of shooting an animated film with us as the main figures, and then write the soundtrack to it.  In the end we didn't do this. Instead, we set off to climb new creative heights and to write the best fucking songs we could.

The songs have turned out very musical and melodic. Much of it is reminiscent of Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles, and even Meat Loaf.

BJA: We acknowledge all our influences and really enjoy painting with a broad palette of colours. John Lennon, Bob Marley, U2, The Clash and many more. Songs are the result of patience and concentration. You never know when a song will gently tap you on the shoulder or hit you on the back of the head with a lump of wood. I get my ideas for songs everywhere - when playing the guitar, in the shower, on the toilet or when going for a walk.

The central line in the title song '21st Century breakdown', says: “My generation is zero. I never made it as a working class hero”. Isn't that a damned pessimistic view on life?

BJA: You should view it a little more discriminatingly. The song is about the American Dream, which says that you can make it if you really want to, if you push yourself. Society is increasingly trivializing this dream of our forefathers. Today it is only about winning the next Lotto jackpot and becoming stinking rich. That is not enough for me. What I miss is people striving to be better, to perfect themselves, this sense of hunger.

Have you realised your dream then?

BJA: One hundred percent. I am the happiest boy in the world. I love my band and my work. If there wasn't Green Day, then I would be washing plates.

Is society, especially in light of the current economic downturn, too materialistic?

BJA: No, I don't think it is. I don't have anything against prosperity. This pursuit of money regularly lands our country in trouble. But it also helps us to pull ourselves out of trouble again. America is very inventive when it comes to generating wealth. However prosperity should only be one aspect, a society built exclusively on money will break down. But I'm not pessimistic. We now have our first Afro-American president, which is a tremendous thing. And in the long run this means that the voice and the desires of the people will not be ignored.

What will Obama achieve? Save the world?

BJA: He won't save the world, especially not on his own. But this is the best thing that has happened to America in a very long time. There is a new crisis every week, a new catastrophe. However at the end of the day the central statement of the album is: There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Is Billie Joe Armstrong in 2009, what Bruce Springsteen was in the 80's or Bob Dylan in the 60's?

BJA: I can't deal with that. I don't want to be the voice of a generation. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a label like that. I want to speak for myself. However, if people discover something in my songs for themselves, then I have succeeded in what I set out to do.

Are you secretly thankful to George W. Bush? Ultimately he inspired 'American Idiot' and played a considerable role in its success?

BJA: That may be true, but no! Not at all. Thank Bush? That would be really beneath me.

[sweeethinny]

Advices

someone had asked me to write about James asking Harry for loving advice during his Yule Ball, and inspired by @startanewdream fics, I wrote this :)

tell me what you think :)

AO3

‘‘Dad! ’’ James sighed as if he had been guarding the air for hours, looking relieved to see his father in the mirror. ‘’I’ve been calling you for hours!’’

‘’James, not a minute ago.’’ Harry laughed, albeit a little worried. James barely wrote letters that were more than 10 centimeters, something terrible must have happened for him to use the mirror. ''Did something happen?''

‘’Something horrible!’’ His son sighed, his brown eyes looking alarmed. ‘’Can you meet me at Hogsmeade? I don’t want to talk about it in the mirror.’’

‘’James, is it really terrible? Something about Lily? With Albus? Did anyone threaten you?!’’ Harry was already on his feet, ready to Apparate near Hogwarts and protect his children like a dragon mother.

‘’We’re all fine… well, I heard Albus was caught out of bed, but nothing much.’’ The son shrugged. ‘’So, are you coming? I know it's not exactly the date yet, but I need to see you. Alone.''

''Oh Jamie… what did you get into?'' Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes and trying to imagine what could be that time.. The last one was when he and his friends were caught in the Forbidden Forest taking care of a phoenix, then there was that one when he fought with a Ravenclaw after hearing that Greg was speaking ill of Albus… James was a good boy, and very intelligent for his own safety, but sometimes, Harry felt that he had inherited much of the Weasley blood.

‘’Dad, I just need your help.’’ His son asked, looking calmer now, his voice lower, and his shoulders relaxed, and if Harry didn’t know him, he would say he looked almost miserable.

‘’Alright… I’ll go.’’

[...]

The next day, Harry had entered McGonagall's office and asked him and James to leave the school quickly for lunch, for a private conversation. Needless to say, the principal looked at the ex-student as if he was still 15 years old and was hiding that, in fact, he was going to fight in the Ministry.

‘’Thanks for coming,’’ The boy said, following Harry through Hogsmeade, not unlike the James they had left on the platform a few months ago. ‘’I thought you couldn’t get me out of there… But you’re Harry Potter, of course you can.’’

‘’James, don’t try to win my heart.’’ He warned him, even though he wanted to laugh. ‘’We can’t always do this, so I really hope this is important.’’

‘’It’s important!’’ The two entered the Three Broomsticks, walking over to the back table that Harry had reserved for them. Some teachers and visitors stared at them, as always, but as soon as they sat down, Harry surrounded them with a muffling charm, thinking that maybe James didn't want his problem to come out in tomorrow's Daily Prophet.

‘’What happened then?’’ The son twisted a little ashamed, which was unusual for that extroverted boy who spoke at the elbows and was so articulate that Harry sometimes wondered if it was really his son. 

‘’How did you invite mom to the Yule Ball?’’ Oh… Harry realized then, what was the urgency. He sighed, thinking that while he wanted to laugh, he wanted to hug his son, a little desperate that James was old enough to ask girls out, and that he was still coming to ask his father for help.

‘’Hm… I didn’t invite her, actually.’’ Harry grimaced, remembering his 14 year old self who was much more insecure, morose and introverted. But James also reminded him very much of himself, even though a year older, his son had been in a bad mood for the past few months - fortunately, not because he was being tortured and being discredited after seeing a colleague die. James was just a teenager.

''Not?! She who invited you?’’

‘’Actually… we didn’t go together.’’ His son’s face seemed to fall with the news, and Harry took advantage of the shock to wave to the waitress, ordering two beers. ‘’I went with another girl, and she went with Neville.’’

‘’What’s your problem? Why didn’t you invite mommy? Or, okay, I get it, you were afraid to invite her and she would say no.'' James looked hopeful, which Harry thought was a little strange, since his kids knew their parents hadn't fallen in love since the first time they if they saw each other, or anything like that they saw in Muggle films.

‘’Well… I didn’t like her. Not like that, at least. I liked another girl, and your mom still couldn't get close to me without blushing or stuttering, so…’’ Harry shrugged. ‘’Thank you.’’ He smiled at the waitress, who broke into their protection circle and placed the beers in front of each other.

‘’So, did you invite her?’’ James asked as soon as the woman left. ‘’You liked her.’’

‘’I invited, but she already had another partner.’’ Harry shrugged, laughing at the memory of him being a fool and asking Cho out.

‘’Oh…’’ Then James cringed, as he did a few times when he was upset, looking at the glass in front of him and seeming to think about several things at once. ‘’So… did you call another girl?’’

‘’Hm, yes… Why?’’

''How did you do it? I mean .. call another girl, even if you liked the other one?’’

‘’We were like friends.’’ Harry shrugged, a little awkward to deal with the situation, realizing that his son’s problem was not just the shame of inviting someone to the ball. ‘’Well, at least I saw her only as a friend… Why? Anyone in particular?’’

‘’There’s this girl…’’ James still didn’t look at his father, his cheeks slightly flushed. ‘’I… I like her, and we are… we get to know each other,’’ Harry thought it looked like much more than just two acquaintances, but he wouldn’t disturb his son. ''But when I went to invite her, she had already agreed to go with another guy... I mean, I took too long and I think she thought I was inviting her because I had no choice.'' James ran his hand over his face, looking almost in pain. Harry's heart sank into his chest. ‘’I was late because I wanted to be nice when I called her, I even bought chocolates.’’ The boy laid his face on the table, looking totally miserable now.

‘’James…’’

‘’I was an idiot, that's what.’’ He said, his voice muffled against the wood. ‘’I should have known that a girl like her didn’t have all the time in the world to wait for my good will.’’

‘’Why don’t you tell her that?’’ Harry tried, trying hard not to actually get up and hug his son.

‘’And humiliate me even more? No thanks.’’ James raised his head from the table, but kept looking down, his hands running nervously through his hair.

‘’You can call a friend.’’ Harry thought of Mira, James’s friend that he had great affection for. But maybe it was because the girl was just too kind and smart, and she always seemed to be ready to keep James from being expelled - besides she was the one who took the phoenix to Hogwarts and spent almost a year trying to tame the bird.

‘’Yeah… maybe I’ll call Rosalia.’’ James looked at him, and Harry almost let on his disappointment.

‘’Just be kind and don’t charge yourself too much... Ask to speak to her alone, in case she is surrounded by friends.. ’’

‘’..They always are.’’

‘’..And invite her. But don’t let her think that she’s your last option, no one likes that.’’

‘’Ok.’’ His son didn’t look very happy, but he nodded. ''Thanks.''

‘’James… I’m sure you’ll find another time to ask this girl out, and then you can try to have something, or just decide to be colleagues. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll know how to handle the situation.’’

| DURING THE YULE BALL… |

As the songs went on, his excitement seemed to increase to the point where his cheeks and throat hurt from laughing and singing, so when Mira pulled him to get a buttered beer, he let himself go, accompanying her through the sea of ​​people like a fool in love that he was.

''They're good.'' James talked about the famous band that played, leaning on the wall next to the table and crossing his legs, he didn't even know where he left his cape anymore and he didn't mind being wearing only his black vest and the shirt. He swallowed a good amount of beer before noticing that Mira was staring at him. ''What's it?''

‘’Nothing, just thinking you’re a great party buddy’’ She shrugged and also took the drink, oblivious to the fact that his chest ached with anticipation ‘’It’s hot here, don’t you think? I'm sweating.’’ Her cheeks were flushed and red was running dangerously down her long neck, where James did not want to venture out, knowing his weaknesses.

‘’Do you want to go outside?’’ He nodded towards the gardens.

‘’Nah, I still want to hear them play Wicked Game.’’ He nodded, wanting to be where she was. ‘’I was really abandoned at my first dance,’’ Mira seemed to speak more to herself than to James, so he just remained silent, looking at her curiously. ''Is weird.''

‘‘Don’t be dramatic, I’m here.’’ The blonde laughed nasally and looked at him, eyebrow raised as she approached and leaned next to his, very close.

‘’You’re not my date.’’ He shrugged and drank his beer, wanting to tell her that he wanted her to go.

‘‘Pretend I am. ’’ Her black eyes looked at him as if he said there was a dead body in his room.

‘’You already have one.’’ Mira reminded him, and his laugh came out without any humor, and he wouldn’t doubt that his face was twisted in a frown.

‘’Who kissed me thinking of another.’’ At the same time he regretted having verbalized, denying and messing up his hair ‘‘Forget it. Do you want to go dancing?’’

‘’Did she do that?’’ Of all he wanted, Mira’s pitying look wasn’t one of them.

‘’Don’t look at me like that Hazel, I’m not a fucking child who fell down the stairs.’’ Admitting that he was upset wasn’t in his plans, it never was, so she couldn’t expect the opposite from him now. Besides, he had also thought of Mira when he kissed Rosalia, so he was not a complete saint.

''It's not me you're mad at, besides, I can't pretend I'm not furious.'' James almost lost his eyes to face his friend, who left her mug on the table and crossed her arms over her chest, looking over their heads, or at least those she could manage.

''Furious?''

‘’Yeah, how could she do that? I understand she is still getting over the breakup with Nicholas, now, do this to you? No, no, this is playing dirty. Why the hell weren't you honest and.. ’’

‘’..Mira, you don’t need to pick up my fights for you,’’ James took her arm, getting too close for his own sanity ‘’I'm fine, okay? It was nothing.''

‘’This is so stupid James, I don’t believe it.’’ Merlim would help him not to shut that girl up with a kiss. Now he wanted to kiss.

Before he did anything stupid, he decided to do something worse, when he noticed that a bewitched mistletoe grew on top of them, as Michael had said that happened whenever a couple was very close at the ball. And before his conscience shut him up, he let his impulsive part take over;

‘’Oh ... you know the tradition, right?’’ It didn’t give him even a second to want to undo the stupid phrase, wanting to punch himself.

Mira's eyes widened and her cheeks were almost the color of her lipstick, looking shocked by what her friend had said, hardening in his hand and momentarily looking like a statue.

‘’Hm… ’’

‘’..It’s a joke.’’ And as if the world was trying to fix its shit, Ghost Tears announced that they would sing the song they had been waiting for all night; Wicked Game. ‘’Hey, let’s dance.’’

And without looking too much into the blonde's face, or caring about the fact that his heart was beating so fast that he wouldn't be shocked if he fell hard on the floor, he carried her into the middle of the room again and adjusted himself to dance, placing the hand on her waist as they had rehearsed. His heart trembling with their proximity, and how beautiful Mira was, even closer. He would dream for months about that blue dress and that cleavage.

‘’Shall we dance?’’ Mira asked, seeming to bite a laugh. And if James hadn't been willing to look at the band, a little embarrassed, he would see how hopeful she looked.

‘’Yes ... I mean ... if you want ..’’ He finally looked at her, staring into the big dark eyes contrasting with the pale skin.

''Yea, sure.'' Mira smiled from ear to ear, no longer seeming to care that Scott abandoned her in the middle of the ball. In fact, she looked even happier now, which made James, still happier than hours ago.

[ewgoals]

Face The Truth

Plot: The reader has Bipolar Disorder and takes pills to keep her in check but one day she decides to stop taking the pills and Harry notices the change in the woman he loves very much.

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of s*x and suicide attempt.

Y/N was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder when she was 17, the young girl didn't understand it at all. What happened? Why did she get this and none of her siblings did? She knew something was wrong when she felt like she couldn't control small things. There were moments when she had an obscene amount of energy like she could run thousands of miles without getting tired. There were also some days where she felt like she could sleep all day like it wouldn't matter how long she slept she was beyond exhausted. When Y/N finally got the answers that made everything make more sense, she was able to finally get herself on a steady regimen of various pills. The longer she took them the better she began to feel and after a few months, she began to feel like herself again. Y/N began finally going after the career she always wanted since she was a little girl and that was a lawyer, she began applying herself to her school work more and actually managed to reverse the damage her illness caused in the beginning.

Y/N was now 23, she finally had true control of her life that was until her friend talked her into going to an audition. Y/N couldn't believe she actually got the role of a lifetime in the DC movie Batgirl, this was beyond shocking to her but she still managed to keep her composure knowing that shocking or stressful situations could trigger a manic episode. Y/N kept her so-called dirty secret to herself, never wanting to tell anyone around for fear of being judged or better yet losing her job. She didn't think that it was going to affect her work relationship, so she didn't reveal it. Y/N managed to keep her secret to herself through all of the filming as well as post-production. Y/ N didn't think her life could take a turn anymore that was until she met him.

Y/N was at the premiere of Batgirl when they actually met Y/N and didn't really know who Harry Styles was. She heard about him through High School but she was more into old 80's rock and Black Veil Brides, she was more interested in his fashion-loving how he managed to bring in old fashion from previous decades and somehow make it his own. Y/N and Harry got along pretty quickly bonding over various bands they listened too and how their views of the world blended well together effortlessly. They exchanged numbers and went on with the day, Y/N didn't think much of it but she kept the number close.

Y/N without even noticing began talking to Harry almost every day, if it wasn't through texts or calls it was facetime. Y/N didn't want to admit that slowly feelings were developing but she didn't want to get herself worked up by nothing. The woman kept her feelings close to her until Harry showed up one day at her apartment, she didn't know that he was going to show or even be in New York. Harry looked nervous as he paced for a minute, this caused the woman to get very anxious before the brown-haired man said "Listen, I've been debating saying anything because well who knows if these feelings are even shared" Y/N was watching the man confused as she smiled "Okay Harry take a deep breath, now try and tell me what you need to say" Harry listened to the calming voice of the woman and nodded.

"I think this could be the beginning of something great, I feel like I could truly learn new things from you. I mean I can see us being together, I was sitting at the piano writing a song and it was coming together beautifully and while I was sitting there it hit me. The reason it was coming together was because all I thought about was you" Y/N was shocked but she managed to keep her smile contained for the most part as Harry continued "I was trying to not ruin this because our friendship is one of the purest things I have right now" Y/N just shook her head and smiled before she finally stopped the man from rambling by kissing him softly. Harry instantly relaxed as he finally slid his hand up and cupped her face slowly melting into the kiss, Y/N pulled away slowly as she whispered "I feel the same way... I was too scared to admit that to you because I wanted this to remain how we are. You keep me on the edge of my seat with your opinion about small things." Harry smiled as he just kissed the woman again.

Y/N and Harry have been together for almost a year now, Y/N doesn't know how she managed to keep her illness hidden from Harry but she did. Y/N was currently touring with Harry due to the fact she took a few weeks off from the movie she was working on without even remembering Y/N forgot her medication at home, at first it wasn't really a big deal but then the mania started to really take over. Y/N was staying up to all hours of the night never really feeling tired, she would often just lay in bed with Harry until he fell asleep then she would leave and begin doing random things around the hotel. One night she reorganized her and Harry's bags making sure everything fit properly and was sorted to the way she liked it, Harry would often find her up walking around or doing some random thing. Y/N was enjoying the mania.

Y/N rolled off of Harry, laying down next to the man keep herself wrapped up in the sheet stretching her back out as Harry said "I know that I should be enjoying the fact that you can't get enough of me" He joked but quickly continued with "but you've been up for days I don't think I've seen you sleep" Y/N shook her head "No, I'm just fine. I swear. I think I'm just not used to the different time zones every night. It's probably just jet lag or something" Y/N knew exactly what it was but she didn't want to admit that to him. He would leave her. She knew that "are you doing meth" Y/N gasped but shaking her head as quickly as she could "No, I would never. I've just been a little preoccupied that's all." Harry just nodded before he wrapped his arms around her body as he pulled her close into his chest "Just sleep please" Y/N nodded as she buried her face into his chest for the first time in a few weeks the woman managed to finally let herself relax. This was the first day of a long month.

Y/N fell asleep keeping Harry close as possible, Harry managed to get himself out of bed at a reasonable time when he looked over he saw Y/N still asleep. Part of him worried because the girl fell asleep around 10 pm and it was now going at 10 am. Harry decided to just let the woman he cared for to relax a little bit more feeling like she needed it especially since she hasn't been sleeping at all. Harry came back to the hotel room after the show which put the time around 12 am Y/N was still sleeping "Hey, Y/N what's going on?" Y/N heard the familiar voice which caused her to finally open her eyes as she said "Nothing just tired don't worry" Harry looked around the hotel room as he raised an eyebrow "Who all came in here?" Y/N just shrugged "I think a few members of the band. They had some drinks and tried to wake me up" Harry wasn't going to lie to himself, Y/N was in a bad position and he couldn't wrap his head around what it was.

It had been a week and no matter what Harry tired he couldn't manage to get Y/N out of bed unless they had to leave the hotel room to go to the next, Y/N hadn't been eating and she really only got out of bed to use the restroom other than that her personal hygiene and just the will to do anything was completely gone, Harry truly felt like he saw the woman he fell in love with completely begin to wither away. She had begun to lose weight, her hair was oily and no matter how much she slept she couldn't make the tiredness go away. Harry truly felt powerless, he decided that it was time to force the woman out of bed at least for a shower. When Harry returned from his show that night he finally worked up enough courage to say "Y/N get out of bed. You need to take a shower, maybe that will help you feel a little better" Y/N pulled the blanket over her head for she said "Leave me alone Harry" Harry shook his head before pulling the blanket away from the woman "Get up now. I'm not taking no for an answer" Y/N didn't know what happened but she began to cry "I can't Harry. I just can't"

Harry's eyes widened a little when he saw the woman crying, he walked over to where she was still laying down as he crouched down "Hey.. what do you mean?" Y/N just closed her eyes trying to make sure that her voice didn't completely give out on her "Please don't leave. I know I'm this huge bother.... I know that I'm holding you back.. I know that you could do so much better than me but please don't leave" Harry shook his head before putting his hand on the woman's cheek trying to wipe a few of the tears as he said "I would never. Y/N I love you" That was the first time in their one year relationship where either of them said those three words. Y/N looked at the man as she shook her head trying to hold back her few tears "no you don't Harry I've been lying for a whole year" Harry raised an eyebrow horrible thoughts were running through the man's head as Y/N finally kept speaking "I'm Bipolar... I stopped taking my meds so that you wouldn't see them" Harry eyes widened before he shook his head "Y/N, you can't do that my love. I promise you that your mental health is never going to change my feelings about you. if anything this makes me love you more because of how strong you are. God I thought you were strong before but this just changes how strong I think you are now"

Y/N finally sat up for the first time in what felt like years to her boyfriend, the woman ran her hand through her hair as she closed her eyes for a moment as she spoke “I need a shower” Harry chuckled a little as the woman smiled “I don’t want to say you do because that’s rude but i think that you should” Y/N laughed which caused Harry to smiled wide, it was the first time in what felt like forever as Y/N opened her eyes once more Harry was met with those beautiful Y/E/C that he fell so in love with “I love you too” was the words that slipped out of Y/N mouth. Harry smiled before he leaned up and kissed the woman’s forehead. Y/N rested her eyes as he kissed her forehead before she finally stood which caused Harry to stand as well “I’m going to go take a shower” Y/N said as Harry nodded, the woman left Harry in the hotel as she turned on the shower.

Y/N was sitting on the closed toilet as she looked around, she felt like Harry was lying and that he was going to wait until he felt that she was so called back to normal and leave her. Y/N looked around the bathroom as she began thinking “I know that I am holding him back. I know that he is better off without me I know that he deserves more” these thoughts kept going through her head as she quickly grabbed her make up bag and began searching through thee large bag and finding her pair of scissors that she hid just in case she needed to cut the tag off of something or need of an emergency haircut. The woman quickly dug the scissors into her forearm before she registered the man to herself and let out a scream she dug the scissors into both of her arms. Y/N dropped the scissors as she fell onto the floor gasping for a moment before the door finally opened. Y/N gasped as Harry walked in dropping the bag that he carried into the bathroom

Harry dropped to his knees quickly grabbing at the woman’s wrist applying pressure “Y/N what happened? What did you do?” the woman just shook her head trying to remove herself from Harry’s but his grip was too strong “stop it love” the man quickly grabbed his phone as he called 911 Y/N started crying., Harry hung up the phone gripping onto her arms tightly not letting go like the 911 operator told him too. It didn’t take long for the paramedics to arrive at the hotel , Y/N tried closing her eyes as Harry shook his head “No, you look at me. You keep right here Y/N” Y/N opened her eyes as she looked at Harry “Please stop. Please” The paramedics quickly removed Harry from the woman and began working on her, deciding to get her to the hospital as quickly as possible. Harry followed into the ambulance as he kept looking at her hands “Please don’t die”

72 hours have officially passed and even though Harry couldn’t see the woman he still stayed at the hospital, Y/N was placed back on her medication and kept under a very watchful eye. Harry was finally able to see the woman and Y/N smiled when she saw the curly haired man who looked tired and still in the same clothes “Harry” was all she whispered as Harry almost ran towards the woman he loved as he grabbed her hand “Y/N, Why?” Y/N knew she would have to talk about this sooner or later “I wasn’t thinking clearly the depression got the best of me. I’m sorry i put you through that and I can’t say that it won’t happen again because it might,even with the mood stabilizers.”

Y/N took a breath as she fought back the tears once more “One small thing could ruin years of work. I know that what I did was so stupid and I can’t take it back but all I can promise is that I will make sure that you never have to literally save my life again. I promise that if i am feeling down with my disorder I’ll open up and tell you. I won’t keep it bottled up inside of me. I will allow you to try and understand it for the better.” Harry nodded as he kissed the woman’s hand “I’ve never been so scared. I thought I lost you” Y/N felt horrible guit as she quickly hugged the man pulling him as close as she could given her serious injuries “I’m sorry I put you through this pain, If you need time I understand but I need you to know that you will always have my heart with you”

Harry shook his head as he said “No, I just need you to remember I love you. I want you and I want to help you.” Harry pulled away for a moment as he kissed the side of her head “ I canceled the last few shows, We are going back to your apartment and we are going to work through this and we are going to make sure that you feel better” Y/N smiled as he kissed him softly as she ran her hand through his hair “I love you so much Harry”

A/N: I know that you are feeling some type away because of this, I know this was hard to read and I need you to understand that I have been through this and I’ve felt this pain and I know that it’s difficult to think about. If you are like me and you struggle with Bipolar disorder please understand you aren’t alone and you have me if you need. If you want part two let me know because I have many more ideas for this also Requests are open for Harry Styles Imagines if you have any plot you want to be written. Oh! Not my gif!

[toogoodmusic]

THE TOO GOOD TEN with Brandon Gorman of Wild Love

With a mission to bring the attitude back to pop music, meet your new favorite band Wild Love. The international band combines singer and songwriter Brandon Gorman from Ireland, guitarist Michael Crecca from New York in America and bassist Saygīn Geçener from Turkey as the three enter a new era of Wild Love. Evolving their sound into a hook-driven pop sound that looks to incorporate their previous sound of lively driven rock without “dropping the guitar” the groups returns with the energetic indie-pop-rock song “I Hate That I Need You.” As the group looks to step “out of the filter” with “no bullshit anymore in their lyrics, sonics or how they present themselves” Too Good Music got the opportunity to ask frontman Brandon about the new era of music, how a chance bus stop encounter led to the band’s formation, their craziest fan encounter and so much more. Check out the full Too Good Ten interview below.

The Too Good Ten. Ten Questions. One Artist. Too Good.

1. Starting from the beginning – you guys all met during a “chance high school bus encounter in Virginia” despite being from all over the world (Ireland, Turkey, New York). What’s the full story there? Did you all know right away you guys would be become a band?

WILD LOVE: The full story is I met out former drummer at a bus stop, but it also stretched out over a few day period. I had just moved to America, and I was invited to a party where I met our bass player Si, but we didn’t talk the whole night. Next day we just happened to be heading to DC for the day with a mutual friend and we just hit it off about music. I told him I was starting a band and needed him to play bass and that was it. We played our first gig two weeks later. I think we did know, because we could sense the passion and there is nothing more attractive than that.

2. Congrats on the release of “I Hate That I Need You.” What’s the story behind this one? How did you decide to release this one as the introduction to the new era of Wild Love?

WL: Thank you, yeah the title kind of says it all like. I was having some issues in a relationship and my internal monologue just slipped out. There isn’t much to it other than what’s there. I’m a fairly frank person and you can tell how I'm feeling by just looking at me, so I definitely have been trying to just channel that into my songs. The song also took about 5 minutes to write, which is slightly annoying because I pour hours of time in songs and half of the time, they are rubbish. Yeah, this one just felt right you know. I think it is a great introduction for what’s about to come from us as a band.

3. For you – what’s one thing you need but hate that you do?

WL: Target honestly and I just can’t stop going, I look for any excuse to go there. I don’t even buy anything, but yeah, I need help.

4. Speaking of the new era – this new music is going to be more pop leaning than the more rock sound Wild Love has focused on. What went into the decision to make this transition? What is it about pop music that made you want to explore it more?

WL: I don’t really think there was much of a decision, it has been the natural progression over the last few years in my writing. I have always been such a huge admirer of Pop music old and new. From ABBA to One Direction to Dua Lipa, it's something that is so undeniably brilliant. I found myself listening less to lyrics and more melodies and I think I wanted to chase those myself. I also felt on the more deliberate side of things that pop music has been lacking an attitude for a while and people also don’t give a shit about rock music anymore because everyone sounds like The 1975. So we found ourselves wanting to go after these sounds and hopefully fill a void that I think is there -- give pop the attitude and frankness that it needs.

5. On September 10th you’ll be playing your first full band, in-person live show with The Foxies in Nashville. What are you most looking forward to for that show? What can fans expect from a Wild Love concert?

WL: Just getting in front of people again. Live shows have been this band’s bread and butter for years, it’s the things that gets us the most excited. So getting into a room with people who are all on the same wavelength and just have this moment with everyone is something we’re clamoring for. You can expect a high energy show. Real instruments being played loud by guys who have watched too many videos of Iggy Pop and Sex Pistols.

FOR TICKET INFORMATION CLICK HERE.

6. What was the biggest thing you learned about yourselves (as a band or individually) from going through the past year and a half in quarantine/pandemic?

WL: I learned that you have to have happiness outside of what you love. Once live shows were taken away, I found myself in a space of really lacking purpose. Writing music was definitely a huge help and something I feel very lucky to have had the time to hone in on, but I needed to find something outside of music that makes me happy. So I hiked more, started going to the gym, and being a more present person in my life and my relationships. So yeah, I learned that I was very much in the music and not in much else.

7. What’s the most memorable (funniest/ craziest/inspiring/etc.) fan encounter you’ve ever had?

WL: A girl we know got our band name tattooed on the inside of her mouth which I think is pretty fucking wild.

8. If you had the ability to headline any music festival or musical event – which would be a dream for you to perform at? What would be your closing song for the event?

WL: Either Glasto or Slane Castle in Ireland. Glastonbury is just so iconic, and it has the best crowd in the world. Then Slane Castle is just a few miles down the road from my hometown. I have been and will be dreaming about both my whole life, so here’s to hoping one day I don’t have to dream. I’d say we would end with “I Hate That I Need You” right? It’s just one of those tunes that you can let loose to.

9. For each member, if you could only listen to (5) artists for the rest of your life who would they be?

WL: For me, it’d have to be ABBA, The Vaccines, Arctic Monkeys, Kelsea Ballerini, and Blur.

For Mike, it’s probably Frank Ocean, Bruce Springsteen, Queens of the Stone Age, Bleachers and Arctic Monkeys.

And for Saygīn, I’d say it’s Dayglow, Tame Impala, Hippo Campus, Jacob Collier and Omar Apollo.

10. What’s the rest of 2021 and early 2022 look like for Wild Love?

WL: Push “I Hate That I Need You,” play some more shows, release new music, and hopefully get out on the road and over to Ireland and the UK. Just excited to get out there and show everyone the new stuff we’ve been working on.

A huge shout-out to Wild Love for the time and congrats on the release of the new single, “I Hate That I Need You.” To keep updated with the group and that upcoming music and shows be sure to follow along by checking out the links below:

Facebook

Instagram

Twitter

YouTube

[loreofthekidults]

Cocoa & Chili | Yoon Jeonghan

focus: jeonghan

words: 2k

genre: stranger things au / high school au / marching band au? / fall themes

description: I’ve been really missing stranger things this year, and with the onset of fall, I decided to start writing instead of just moping around bc lets be honest, without svt I’m not sure we could remain sane this year. Thank you to all the hosts of the #caratrevival event, it’s really motivating and inspiring to see all these creators! This week’s themes were Jeonghan and your Favorite Hip-Hop Unit song, which in my case is Chilli. Hope you enjoy the references!

a/n: Thank you to @woozisnoots​ for making such an amazing banner for this fic. Check out her writing too and enjoy!

Also, happy birthday Jeonghan!

____________________

Jeonghan stomped down the stairs into the warmly lit basement. He scanned the room for the small, black case, but blankets, board games, and backpacks were strewn into every corner and across every surface. He stalked past the group crowded around the round table staring intently at their character sheets. 

“Have you seen my flute case, Seokmin?” Jeonghan called out to his younger cousin behind him. He threw a pile of jackets off the floral armchair and rummaged a hand through the cushions. Nope, not there. 

“No idea!” The kid didn’t even lift his head from arranging the grid with the figurines of his new campaign. 

“Are you really not going to tell me?” Jeonghan gushed as he hopped over and encased Seokmin in a suffocating bear hug. He pulled his scrawny cousin off his chair and began to swing him back and forth in the air. “Pleeease? Please please please? Just give me a hint.”

Seokmin, ever the happy bug, screamed his head off like a pigeon in fright while intermittently shrieking in laughter. 

Across the table, Mingyu giggled but continued to roll for his stats. Vernon spared them a glance, but simply chose to ignore the chaos beside him while Hoshi guffawed his distinctive laugh and clapped his seal clap. Seungkwan sighed dramatically but couldn’t help joining in on the attack.

“Come on, tell him! Then we can finally get him out of our hair and start playing!” Seungkwan protested as he tickled his helplessly flailing friend. 

“Okay, okay!” Seokmin gasped, “Check the vcr pile—it’s probably somewhere there.” He pointed to the corner of the room where a mountain of plastic cases rose beside their boxy television. Jeonghan immediately let him go, letting him drop heavily onto the carpeted floor. It only took a moment of scavenging for him to spot his flute case stacked underneath Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and his collection of Twilight Zone tapes.  

“Is it a home game today?” Vernon asked, glancing at the marching band helmet lying on the table.

“Yup, glad we don’t have to travel an hour to Soomantown just to watch their football team wreck ours again. We can get wrecked 10 minutes from home this time,” Jeonghan chuckled as he grabbed his shako helmet and ruffled Seokmin’s chestnut-brown hair. “Thanks, bud.”

“DM for us next time,” Seokmin hollered after him, his head a mess. “We miss your campaigns!”

“Alright, maybe next time.” Jeonghan stuffed his instrument and shako into his Jansport and threw on his periwinkle blue marching band jacket. “Don’t forget there’s Grandma’s chili in the crockpot if you guys get hungry.” He clamored back up the stairs, out of the toasty basement of his childhood where he used to weave magical stories of monsters and heroes with them. 

It wasn’t as if he no longer liked Dungeons and Dragons and the crazy storytelling that came with it, but he had other things to fill his time than sitting at home playing make-believe, especially with—as much as he loved these kids—newly minted freshmen.

As Jeonghan opened the garage door, he was met with the crisp smell of decaying leaves and fresh air of October. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath in. Oof, so chilli. 

A slight moldy stink tickled his nostrils, though. Crinkling his nose, he opened his eyes just to see another kid speeding on his bike up the driveway to the house.

“Hey, Jeonghan,” The kid hopped off and threw his bike haphazardly onto the grass. “Nice outfit.” He swung his backpack at him as he dashed past him into the house. 

“You better hurry up Dino, else they’ll start without you,” Jeonghan called, half-heartedly dodging the swing.

By the time Jeonghan parked his car behind the high school and strolled onto the fields toward the rest of the marching band, he couldn’t help but miss the cozy heat of the basement. 

Rubbing his hands together desperate for any warmth, Jeonghan walked towards where Joshua was kneeling in the grass assembling his clarinet. They waved at each other in greeting and began sharing complaints like two elderly patients deeply offended by the cold seeping into their joints.

Seungcheol shuffled over and pointed a gloved finger at Jeonghan. “Late! That’s going on your record Yoon Jeonghan.” He made an overly exaggerated effort in taking out his pen and writing Jeonghan’s name in his notebook. 

“Chill, man. What’s the point of being friends with the drum major if I can’t dodge the rules sometimes?” Jeonghan whined despite laughing at his friend’s antics. 

Seungcheol just wagged his finger at him accusingly. “Make him run laps,” Joshua softly suggested with his mischievous smile. 

“No time, unfortunately. We gotta go warm up soon.” Eyes scanning the expanse of light blue uniforms, Seungcheol was back into drum major mode. “Oh hey, the trumpet girl is late, too.”

They turned to look at the new girl in town stepping onto the field. It wasn’t often their small town had any visitors, even rarer a new resident family. 

“Anyways,” Seungcheol clapped his hands, “let’s get into your sections.” He wandered off into the crowd, ordering his classmates to start warming up while brandishing his trombone in one hand like a disgruntled substitute teacher. 

Joshua stopped Jeonghan for a moment before they separated and handed him a hand warmer. “Thanks!” “Nope, I’m keeping the other three.” Jeonghan snickered as he shoved Joshua away and joined the rest of the flutes in their warm up drills.  

As expected, their marching band show was performed without a hitch, and the spectators gushed over the color guard with their periwinkle blue and rose pink flag formations. 

And as expected, the opposing football team with their star players totally squashed Pledies High’s football team. 

When half-time finally crawled into view, Jeonghan, Joshua, and Seungcheol could not be more ecstatic. It was only 7pm, but the autumn chill settled like a thick blanket over the field. Playing bleacher features to a futile game on cold metal seats didn’t do much to keep them warm either. 

So when they were finally allowed to put their instruments away and take a break from the disaster of a game, they quickly squeezed their way through the crowd to get to the snack shop and raffle tables. 

Leaning against the fence by the edge of the field, the trio cuddled their cups of hot cocoa in their hands and inhaled the sweet steam like desperate sharks around blood.

Jeonghan scrunched his eyebrows as he detected the funky scent that he couldn’t quite identify mixed in with the sugary smell.

A presence softly rustled behind Jeonghan and murmured slowly. Shivers shot through Jeonghan, and he whipped his head toward the quiet voice. His sudden jerk sploshed some of the hot cocoa onto his hand, burning his fingers and making him even more panicked. He instinctively leaned in towards Joshua, away from whatever creeped up next to him. 

Jeonghan let out a breath as he recognized the figure. The tall, lean person next to him wore a fitting varsity jacket from the visiting school. His face wore a nonchalant expression that morphed into one of surprise as he did a double take when he finally got a good look at Jeonghan’s face.

“Oh, wait. You’re not Johnny.” He turned away in embarrassment and sauntered back into the crowd, presumably to find his not-Jeonghan friend.

“He thought I was one of their star football players?” Jeonghan asked incredulously, looking bug eyed at his friends. Seungcheol giggled and flicked a strand of his hair. “Must be the silky locks.”

As Joshua and Seungcheol played with his hair, Jeonghan saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. He caught a whiff of that same moldy funk.

“Guys, do you smell that?” Jeonghan pushed himself off the fence and squinted at the dark foliage behind the bleachers.  

“Smell what?” Seungcheol sniffed the air and rubbed his nose. Joshua followed Jeonghan’s gaze. “Is that trumpet girl?”

The blue uniform could just be barely made out against the shadows of the tree line. She appeared to be climbing into the thick shrubbery.

“Maybe she lost something?” He gestured for his friends to follow him. “Come on, let’s go help her.” Jeonghan discarded his empty cup in the trash bin and walked towards the trees. Joshua calmly blinked a few times before trudging along forward with him.

“What could she have lost so far into the woods?” Seungcheol whined. But he couldn’t hide his concern in his voice as he also curiously, and apprehensively, peered into the darkness after her. 

They ventured past the bleachers away from the stadium lights into the trees. Here, among the branches and brambles, the shadows blended into each other and the volume of the crowd behind them was muffled.

Joshua took out a small keychain flashlight attached to his swiss-army knife. With its measly light, they made their way through underbrush, past twisty trees, and around thorny vines. The football field was only a short distance away, but the atmosphere felt heavy with the night and the trees seemed to be watching them.

“Guys, are you sure she went this way?” Seungcheol’s voice climbed higher by a few pitches as he reluctantly fell in step behind them.

Snaps of twigs and distant growling could be heard ahead of them. Jeonghan coughed slightly as he breathed, the moldy scent creeping through the air formidably. It felt like the air was lined with layers of webs of sticky mold, and no amount of flailing could unstick the smell. 

“Man, you weren’t kidding earlier. This smell is nauseating.” Joshua whispered nasally, fingers pinching his nose.

They came to a clearing where a creature seemed to be digging at the roots of a tree. Jeonghan couldn’t quite make out what it was. But he was sure it wasn’t just a dog that escaped their yard. It’s movements were… off.

It was about the size of a medium-sized dog, but without any of the expected pupper qualities. Its leathery skin rippled like damp velvet and slime was oozing off in tiny droplets. When the brightness from Josh’s flashlight hit its back, the creature whipped around immediately. Where there should have been a face, its head opened up like a blooming flower, with five petal lined with rows of teeth. It screamed a bobcat scream and pranced forward at the trio. 

Stumbling backwards, Jeonghan grabbed a stick from the ground and swung it wildly in front of him. Joshua was crouched in a defensive position with his flashlight in a trembling hand but was frozen shock-still, swiss army knife totally forgotten. Seungcheol grabbed Jeonghan’s shoulders behind him, holding him as a barrier between him and the creature. 

Shrieking, Seungcheol mustered all the courage he had and threw the remaining bits of hot cocoa in his cup at the creature. The liquid hit it square in the face, making the monster rear back in surprise for a moment. But after a wary lick, it seemed to lap up the spilt drink deliciously.

“Did you just feed the monster?” Jeonghan hissed.

“It’s all I have on me! What else could I throw at it?” Seungcheol waved his arms wildly as he returned to his post behind Joshua and Jeonghan, pulling on their jacket sleeves to get them to back slowly away from the clearing. 

“I don’t know, maybe a rock or something?” Joshua whisper-screamed in a very un-Joshua manner.

“Chill, buddy, Chill,” Jeonghan held the stick in front of him and waved it gently to the left. And right. Then left. 

The creature closed its face petals to form a bud-like head which followed the motion of the stick curiously. Right and left and right.

Jeonghan winded up his arm and threw the stick to the distant side of the clearing. The creature turned and ran after the branch, demolishing it with its teeth. Splinters flew everywhere.

“Go, go, go, go, go!” Jeonghan turned and shoved Joshua and Seungcheol. They scrambled blindly past the thorns, out of the woods, and into the bright lights of the field. They reached the back of the bleachers, and Seungcheol grasped them deliriously into a tight embrace. Josh was still wide-eyed while Jeonghan was giggling half hysterically from the remnants of the adrenaline. 

“Whoa, what happened to you guys?” The trio looked up and saw trumpet girl standing before them, eyebrows raised and a leaf sticking out of her hair.

“You’re alive!” Jeonghan gasped. The trio looked at each other bewildered and cackled deliriously.

[happymetalgirl]

October 2020

Six Feet Under - Nightmares of the Decomposed

I wrote a full-length review of this disaster of an album earlier in the month, and yeah, wow. Between the phoned-in performances from the instrumentalists who have proven themselves far above this joke of a band and the half-assed production this would have been a pretty crappy album even without Chris Barnes’ milk-aged vocals. But he’s here, and he’s managed to actually get worse too, gasping his way through the whole album and littering it with these ludicrous “high” squeals that would make Smeagol sound like a more competent death metal vocalist. It’s the worst thing I’ve heard all year, and what’s worse, I don’t think Six Feet Under is stopping.

1/10

With that out of the way, let’s cleanse the pallet right away with some really good shit.

Greg Puciato - Child Soldier: Creator of God

Ever reliable in his artistically integrity, explosive former Dillinger Escape Plan frontman, Greg Puciato, has been pretty sonically and artistically adventurous since the honorable dissolution of the iconic mathcore outfit, his most notable music project being the ethereal, synth-heavy The Black Queen. This year, however, Puciato has gone fully solo for a full-length project, and something told me to get ready for a wild ride, and boy was I right on that hunch. Borne out of an exponentiated process of songwriting that produced songs Puciato deemed unfitting for any of his current projects, what was planned as a small release to ship these songs out of the writing room eventually spiraled into a full-blown debut solo album clocking in at over an hour. A lot of solo projects play like clearly indulgent amateur hour sessions from an artist whose ego has been boosted pretty well from significant success from their main project, leading them to overconfidently try their hand at music they have no business trying it at. And it’s often approached under the understanding that it is a victory lap, more or less, and a satisfaction of creative impulses for the sake of it. Sometimes the resultant material is clearly inspired and showcases a side of an artist that certainly deserves some spotlight. Other times it feels like being trapped in an awkward situation with an acquaintance where they just show you all their newest pedals and production software and you’re just stuck there watching them fiddle around while you nod along and offer the occasional “wow, that’s pretty crazy” every now and then while they don’t pick up on the obvious cues that you are just waiting for them to finish playing with their toys. While Puciato was open about this album being borne from the very creatively borderless mindset that so often damns solo projects, Child Soldier: Creator of God is an actual realization of the type of grand, genre-spanning album that so many solo artists envision themselves making and set out to create, and it’s hardly a whimsical, amateurish crack at the styles within either. Puciato’s foray into sludge metal, industrial rock, harsh noise, darkwave, synthwave, and shoegaze, (1) makes for a hell of a dynamic and exciting track list, and (2) shows a much deeper than average respect for and relationship with the styles being played here. This isn’t some frontman thinking his charisma can carry him through a whole rap solo album; this is a well-rounded artist (also a hell of a frontman, no denying that) giving the most comprehensive look yet into his creative mind. The album leaps around in patches of different styles, strung together mostly by ambient connective tissue of various types, all with a great attention to detail paid to both texture and progression. We get early patches of smooth ambiance, but also aggressive industrial and sludge metal, eventually moving to more soothing and meditative synthy stuff around the middle, finishing with some serene, Have a Nice Life-esque shoegaze. But really there’s no way to sum up this album stylistically without breaking down every single song on here, and that would just ruin the fun and the experience. You really just have to experience it for yourself.

9/10

DevilDriver - Dealing with Demons I

Embarking on a conceptual double-album, Dez Fafara and DevilDriver’s first installment in the pair is a scoop of the, indeed, slightly above average, but unfortunately still plain and predictable modern groove metal they always offer up. I’ll give the band credit for keeping the pace up and clearly putting substantial energy into the performances on this album, while also trying to squeeze in a few shake-ups to their sound, like the clear Gojira-inspired riffage on the opening track. The album loses steam, unfortunately, as its punches lose their impact as it goes on.

6/10

Anaal Nathrakh - Endarkenment

While certainly cultivating a unique sound, Anaal Nathrakh’s unholy fusion of nasty modern blackened grindcore with sweeter metalcore and melodic death metal elements has its mixed results. And while that might at first sound like a relatively critical assessment of the Brits’ eleventh album, I’d say that there is actually a lot to enjoy and take in for at least the interesting mix of styles, most of which are hits rather than misses as well.

7/10

Enslaved - Utgard

Having been a fan of a good amount of their recent output, especially 2015’s In Times, I came out of Utgard moderately disappointed with how infrequently Enslaved galvanized their potent brand of Viking folky, progressive black metal effectively; the few moments the band do channel their strengths cohesively and purposefully left me wanting more rather than savoring those moments.

6/10

In Cauda Venenum - G.O.H.E.

It’s hard to, and indeed seems kind of in just to, sum up a heaping prog metal serving like G.O.H.E., comprised of two 22-minute halves, in a capsule review, but that is kind of the format my current busy circumstances have forced me into. French outfit In Cauda Venenum made a self-titled debut in similar two-long-track fashion back in 2015, and the band’s gothic and somewhat theatrical brand of atmospheric post-black-metal is continued on their sophomore effort here, drawing the obvious comparisons to Opeth and Katatonia, as well as Der Weg Einer Freiheit, Numenorean, and Sólstafir, and apart from the more frequent sample usage and extra drawn-out songs, there really isn’t that much to differentiate In Cauda Venenum stylistically. The band’s second album, unfortunately, resembles so many others in the field with big aspirations and the same inadequate means of getting there.

5/10

Apparition - Granular Transformation

A much more bite-sized early two-track offering, Apparition’s debut EP offers a more promising glimpse into a heady, atmospheric, yet still visceral manipulation of modern death metal that I would be curious to hear in a more long-form format. In a genre as extreme as death metal in recent years has been, finding artists effective at working with negative space can be difficult, but the two songs on Granular Transformation showcase a formidable dexterity from Apparition that I think can take them places.

6/10

Molasses - Through the Hollow

While indeed marred by some rough performances on songs with sometimes more desert to cross than water to make it there, there’s an undeniable occult hypnotism about the Dio-era-esque doom metal hollow that Molasses ritualize their way through.

7/10

Death Angel - Under Pressure

While certainly an odd choice on the surface, Death Angel’s acoustic EP and cover of the famous Queen song actually comes out pretty alright. The acoustic version of Act III’s “A Room with a View” comes off with the energy of something like Rush whenever they went acoustic, and the original acoustic cut, “Faded Remains” isn’t too bad either. The acoustic format did not, however, mask the drabness of “Revelation Song” from last year’s overall disappointment, Humanicide.

6/10

Necrophobic - Dawn of the Damned

The Swedes’ melodic brand of blackened death metal is nothing if not thorough on the quintet’s ninth full-length, Dawn of the Damned, covering all the ground that their fans expect their style to cover and doing so with more compositional and performative stamina than their average contemporary. While the band’s broader compositional approach is akin to the beating of a dead horse, I can’t deny it produces some tasty motifs in the process.

7/10

Bloodbather - Silence

After coming onto the blossoming metallic hardcore scene in 2018 with a standard, but potent enough 14-minute EP, Pressure, Bloodbather are back with another 14 minutes of similar, yet less promising material, doing little to set themselves apart from or on the same level of the likes of Jesus Piece, Vein, Knocked Loose, or Harm’s Way.

5/10

Infera Bruo - Rites of the Nameless

The Bostonians’ fourth full-length is, at the very least, a rather well-executed forty minutes of modern black metal a la Craft or Watain, but beneath the seams the band’s progressive tendencies twist what would otherwise be a fresh, but standard, slab of black metal into a more head-turning offering of the usual shrieks and blast beats.

7/10

Touché Amoré - Lament

While somewhat shaky in their compositional exploration in their fifth LP, the firmness of their emotive post-hardcore foundation allows for Touché Amoré to build upwards relatively steadily without losing that raw vulnerability that has made them so captivating to begin with.

7/10

Gargoyl - Gargoyl

This is the self-titled debut from Bostonian four-piece Gargoyl; a novel blend of dirty nineties grunge and gothic prog metal, Gargoyl come through with one of the more impressive genre fusions of the year, meeting the lofty sufficiency for dexterity with excessive vocal harmonies in a manner so uncanny that would make habe to Layne Stayley proud. While there is the expected room for improvement on the compositional end that many debut projects come with, Gargoyl have laid the groundwork for themselves fantastically and started off on a good foot.

7/10

Crippled Black Phoenix - Ellengæst

Through creative gothic flair and full-bodied guest vocal contributions that bolster the somber atmosphere beyond the typical post-metal album, the UK band’s most recent offering of “endtime ballads”, despite its few low points that undo its otherwise immersive atmosphere, serves as one of the more engaging releases under the broader post-metal umbrella of the past year.

7/10

Wayfarer - A Romance with Violence

The Denver-based quartet follow up 2018’s strong emotive case for the potential for evoking cathartic power of the atmospheric black metal which has so saturated the American scene to the point of numbness, their Americana-tinged third LP, World’s Blood, unfortunately, with a fourth LP whose compositional homogeneity and mere few intermittent bursts of enthralling atmospheric instrumentation more represent, rather than advocate the merit of, the saturation of the American atmospheric black metal scene.

6/10

Armored Saint - Punching the Sky

Though I think the structural homogeneity and John Bush’s similarly limited vocal delivery holds it back, with crunchy bangers like “Do Wrong to None” and “My Jurisdiction” alongside more tempered tracks the clearly grunge-influenced “Lone Wolf”, Bush and company provide a relatively stylistically diverse traditional heavy metal album for an age that could use more contemporary representation of classic styles (beyond the entire stoner metal genre LARPing as Black Sabbath too).

7/10

Spirit Adrift - Enlightened in Eternity

But it's not just the old guard representing their era of classic heavy metal robustly; a year and a half after their energetically melodic third album, Divided by Darkness, which took a triumphant melodic approach to classic heavy metal and doom metal similar to that of Khemmis on their excellent third album, Spirit Adrift ease up a bit on the hyper-soulful approach to guitar melody that had led me (and others I'm sure) to draw the comparison to Khemmis, and instead dive deeper into the headspace of the genre's earliest progenitors to achieve that unabashedly glorious rallying cry that is evoked by the very front cover of Enlightened in Eternity. While I am personally pretty partial to the very vulnerable and heartfelt melodic approach that characterized Divided by Darkness, the effectiveness with which Spirit Adrift are able to wield the sometimes Maiden-esque, sometimes Testament-esque sounds of the 80’s on this album is undeniably impressive.

8/10

Fever 333 - Wrong Generation

Providing the correction to this generation’s answer to Rage Against the Machine (after Prophets of Rage’s insufficient attempted revival) Fever 333 follow up last year’s debut of heavy, fired-up and modern take on rapcore with another 14 minutes of righteous anti-racist hardcore anger that’s attuned to the issues to a level that I wish more artists would at least express in their art. While the EP is 18 minutes long, the last two songs, “The Last Time” and “Supremacy”, don’t match the sonic energy of the first six tracks. The somber piano-led snippet-length ballad, “The Last Time”, should have been the conclusion of the album, but the closing track, “Supremacy”, while as conscious as the tracks before it, is basically a late-stage formulaic Linkin Park track that flatters neither of the two bands. Despite botching the landing though, Wrong Generation is a ripping batch of songs that well represent the current unrest and provide a positive hypothetical idea of what it might be like if Rage Against the Machine were in their prime and active today.

7/10

Mörk Gryning - Hinsides Vrede

The Swedes return from their 15-year disillusioned absence from the studio with a concise and clearly renewed enthusiasm for the energetic black metal that they put forth on Hinsides Vrede. Dynamically bolstered by folk-metal compositional tendencies and more than a dash of that famed Gothenburg melodicism (I know they’re from Stockholm and in fact their melodic approach often does heaven to that of their close neighbors from Uppsala, Watain), Mörk Gryning’s seamless return to music finds them jumping into the modern black metal scene’s advanced compositional rubric with relative ease.

7/10

Zeal & Ardor - Wake of a Nation

Having covered their output since their debut and being a big fan of Manuel Gagneux’ project, it pains me to say, especially given the noble pretext and occasional momentary flashes of sobering messaging, that this six-song mini release really doesn’t capture the unique sonic pallet that has made Zeal & Ardor such an interesting act to listen to for the past few years in the most flattering light. The title track is possibly the least of the offenders here, but all the songs here function by taking a little snippet of sound that samples Zeal & Ardor’s broader stylistic range, and drawing it out across these short, but all too minimally composed tracks in such a way that they lose their momentum very quickly. Like I said, I wholeheartedly appreciate, sympathize with, and support what Manuel Gagneux is doing to lend his band’s platform to the addressing of the dire issue of today’s racism through musical means with this project, and when its social motivation is at the forefront, it’s at its most potent, but musically, unfortunately, it’s just desperately underwritten in a way that doesn’t fairly represent how accomplished Zeal & Ardor really are with their sound.

5/10

Sevendust - Blood & Stone

The flashes of crushing grooves reminiscent of their earlier work on Blood & Stone that highlight how well Sevendust can harness nu/alternative metal to execute pummeling attacks with the right crunchy guitar tone, unfortunately, don’t come frequently enough on their twelfth LP to mirage the exhaustion that has come of the band’s writing process after such frequent, unrelenting output and the all too apparent desperate need for a recalibrating, refreshing break, which they certainly deserve for their tenacity.

5/10

Undeath - Lesions of a Different Kind

In one of those cases where the ridiculously gratuitous album cover actually represents the album’s sound quite well, Rochester, New York five-piece, Undeath mince neither words nor sounds on their debut LP in their 100% upfront, no-nonsense, and wonderfully nasty delivery of death metal. Eschewing even the slightest sense of snobbery or pretense for aimless ambition, the band simply compile the genre’s tried and true elements of bellowing growls, filthy riffs, mean-ass down-tuned chugging, and blood-pumping double-bass with blast beats into an addictive slab of raw, uncured death metal that serves as a testament to the merit of not overthinking shit.

8/10

Griffon - Ὸ Θεός Ὸ Βασιλεύς

On their sophomore LP, Parisian quintet Griffon channel the world innovative ethos that has become rather prominent in their scene into a somewhat short, but definitely sweet offering of modestly ambitious black metal that captures much more effectively than most albums of similar style and lesser imagination, the divine grandeur that the genre so often tries and fails to embody.

8/10

Bring Me the Horizon - Post-Human: Survival Horror

After taking the hard left into current pop music trends very transparently on their controversial, which was at least partially intentional on their part, and ultimately really patchy, but not wholly awful, 2019 album, amo, Oli Sykes and co. walk it back substantially for this smaller release here, back to That's the Spirit, even Sempiternal, a prospect that might get a lot of the band's more long-time, metalcore-centric fans excited, but I would suggest those fans temper their expectations of Post-Human: Survival Horror. The band reunite with the anthemic metalcore/deathcore that put them on the map for a good chunk of this album, and the intro track, "Dear Diary,", might even give some false hope of the prodigal sons returning home. But songs like the cookie-cutter single, "Teardrops", provide strong evidence that, while the band have re-embraced their old aesthetic, they have not kicked the pop vocal or compositional habits. And the project really does run out of energy in its final third because of this compositional homogeneity. I do want to highlight the song, "Kingslayer", which features a very in-form Babymetal (I loved their album last year), because their fun, not-so-serious approach to the crossing of J-pop and metal music in their feature on this track among the other songs around it provides a contrast to the more formulaic, disinterested radio pop swagger that Bring Me the Horizon have been trying to jam into their sound that could perhaps inform Bring Me the Horizon's artistic approach to integrating pop music if they really are so hellbent on doing so. Ultimately though, as much as they want to move into newer territory, this trajectory-revising release shows just how much more solid Bring Me the Horizon are in their metalcore territory than they were on amo. It had its predictable hiccups, but this thing wasn't too bad.

7/10

Pallbearer - Forgotten Days

With the slow, sludgy, down-tuned riffing of the menacing opening title track and the similar chug of “Vengeance & Ruination” being the sole exceptions, the remainder of Pallbearer’s fouth full-length largely sees them operating in the same niche they have in their three previous albums. And while this could invoke accusations of playing it safe, the brimming heartfelt sorrow and resistance to succumbing to despair across Forgotten Days is enough to wave that away, as Pallbearer showcase just how emotive doom metal can be.

8/10

Bleeding Out - Lifelong Death Fantasy

The very new act and fresh Profound Lore signing, Bleeding Out, certainly display more dynamic capability than your average local grindcore scene’s biggest names here on their 18-minute debut for the label, but as of now it is still just a glimpse of potential for more effective future implementation. It’s a good start, though, and I’ll be looking forward to a more long-form project from these guys.

6/10

Evildead - United States of Anarchy

Every year we get the resurrection of some long-inactive old-school band who seem to have found that missing spark at last; we’ve seen the return of smaller bands to the studio like Angel Witch or Sorcerer and long-awaited revivals of iconic acts like Possessed. This year, Los Angeles’ Evildead has seen fit to make their commentary on the massive ongoing sociopolitical upheaval. Despite my love for the 80’s thrash scene they were born out of, the combination of the utterly lame band name, logo, and covers for either their ‘89 or ‘91 albums never really made me want to check them out, but seeing the horridly cheesy and incoherent cover of United States of Anarchy (I mean how much more on-the-nose can you get), my morbid curiosity got the best of me. Maybe I’d be wrong to have judged them by their cover, plenty of my favorite 80’s albums have particularly goofy cover art. So what do we get from Evildead in 2020 with this fucking album? Well, it’s not as poorly performed as the past few Anvil albums I’ve had to review have been, but Jesus the lyricism is similarly cheesy 5th-grade-level stuff and smacks of silly political incoherence that essentially boils down to “enlightened centrism” with mix of that good ol’ Illuminati-conspiracy-theory belief that no political thrash album is apparently complete without. I mean there’s just basic acknowledgment of the prominent problems of the day and the fact that both major political parties are bad and that corruption is rampant all throughout DC, but Evildead not only barely scratch the surface, they apply the same level cynicism to the “both sides” they criticize with no substantiation to their criticism despite that mindset being a big reason for our being where we are right now, mixed in with the occasional conspiracy-paranoia about the shadowy underworld running everything, so no real solutions or even proper addressing of these problems. Like, the same level of criticism is levied at right-wingers and communists, like communists are at all why this country has gone to shit. And the generic Anthrax/Megadeth type of thrash instrumentation, while rumbly and mixed well to highlight its bass heaviness, doesn’t exactly make it easy to get past the commentary deficiencies on here.

4/10

Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou - May Our Chambers Be Full

Rounding off their year (at least I think), with a long-teased collaboration with Emma Ruth Rundle, Thou finally present their massive sludge-doom sound in a much more flattering light than the previous cover albums this year did. Thou's original material continues to highlight just why their relatively stiff sound is much more cut out for that, original material, than for trying to bend beyond its flexibility to tribute grunge songs. And while Thou being back in their more effective department, Emma Ruth Rundle's contributions, beyond just her gorgeous and ethereally haunting vocals, to the album's atmosphere, dynamic, and structuring really take the collaboration to the next level. Not to say that Thou are completely overshadowed and relegated to the background on this record or that they don't contribute to a fair share of the legwork here; the workload is shared pretty equally, and both collaborators have their moments of prominence, but Emma Ruth Rundle's ever-present gothic/folky influence really directs the music in a way that plays to Thou's strengths in a way I'm not sure they would have been able to on their own. It's great work from both of them, and I'd be eager to hear Thou find more collaborations like this in the future that push them into doing more interesting things with their crushing doom sound, as opposed to the rather tepid collaborations with The Body.

8/10

Auðn - Vökudraumsins Fangi

Sadly, three albums in, Auðn have only barely exceeded the bare minimum for naturalistic atmospheric black metal, with no signs of significant improvement to be found. The Icelandic band earn points for their earnest delivery, but they never seem to fully make it out of the rut that the genre’s many contemporary acts have dug.

5/10

Botanist - Photosynthesis

The black metal traditionalists might have had to accept that the floodgates to bright ambience and serene shoegaze in the genre have been opened and that there's no going back now, but even as an avid Deafheaven fan, I'm sometimes momentarily surprised at just how heavenly some black metal has gotten lately, and this new album from Botanist is one of those albums. And while it sometimes slips into some of the current wave's typical ruts, the sheer blindingly illuminating aura of this album when it reaches those high points (and it does so frequently) is enough to pull it out from those gutters and high into the cosmos. Yeah, another splendid offering of nature worship from Botanist.

8/10

Mr. Bungle - The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny Demo

Making their return after over a decade, Mike Patton recruits both Dave Lombardo and Scott Ian for the long-awaited fourth Mr. Bungle album, which is titled in homage to the first Mr. Bungle demo which it is comprised largely of much clearer re-recordings of. Ever impressive, Mike Patton balances aggression and eccentricity like a tightrope walker on this project too, while his bandmates do the same with thrash metal’s natural adrenaline rush while pushing the genre into new compositional and stylistic territory without sacrificing that crucial whiplash. It’s a great time, and definitely one of the year’s best thrash albums.

8/10

Carcass - Despicable

While they've been much less prolific since their reboot than they were prior, Liverpool's melodic death metal pioneers simply continue to demonstrate their excellence in this seemingly effortless four-track appetizer to next year's Torn Arteries. Anyone familiar with the band's brutal form of melodic death metal will certainly be pleased with the four quite sufficiently pulverizing cuts here; those who may only be familiar with some of the band's many less muscular imitators might be surprised, and pleasantly so, with the Englanders' ability to lay on the infectious guitar melody without sacrificing an ounce of force.

8/10

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted.  I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

                                                     ---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #422

“i will not become a figure of my mistakes  /  i will not become the mask that is not my face”

Have you ever been told you were a good writer? I've been told that's one of my "gifts." What do you put on your baked potatoes? Butter, American cheese, and bacon bits. Gooood shit. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab Smolders play Parasite Eve. Love that game to bits, and I really enjoy how she has a legitimate appreciation for it despite its age. It's so great watching her fall in love with a game she knew nothing about. Did you ever have braces? Yes. Are you afraid of flying? I acknowledge the risks of it, but I don't really actively fear it. Are you short? No; I'm your average height for an American woman of my age. Have you ever used a fire extinguisher? No. Would you want your future children to date someone like you as a teenager? I was a fine teenager, so sure. Are you unhappy at the moment? That's quite the understatement. When’s the last time you got in trouble with your parents? *shrug* How many children do you want? None. It's funny though, I had a dream last night that I gave birth to a daughter I of course named Alessandra. Have you ever watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians? No. Do you have any career ideas in mind? I have no desire to talk about this right now. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Are you gay yourself? I'm bi. Are you doing anything this weekend? Of course I'm not. But that's a surprise to nobody. How many brothers do you have? One. Do you like Mexican food? Only very few things. What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Oh man. Some are family pets more than hers, but regardless, there's Buster, Beasley, Winter, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Doris, Raisha, and a bunch of other fish. Did you go to work today? I don’t have a job. .-. How old are you? How old do you act? 25. I think mentally I'm capable of acting older, but as far as "being an adult" goes, taking care of mature responsibilities, I'm a child. What size shoe do you wear? I... haven't worn anything but flipflops in so long that I barely know. I want to say an 8? 7 1/2 depending on the shoe? Are there any spiders in your room right now? I dunno. What was your favorite class during your sophomore year of high school? Art, for sure. Who’s your favorite Disney character? Probably Dory. Are there any framed pictures of you in your house? With my sisters, yes. Do you wear bandanas in your hair? No. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not interested. Do you need to shave? My legs look like a gorilla's. My armpits, slightly. I shave them every time I shower, so I'll shave them soon. Are you wearing makeup right now? No. I never do nowadays. Do you know anyone named Laura? Not off the top of my head. Do you have any exercise equipment in your home? A few things. How many living grandparents do you still have? None. What are your plans for the rest of the day? Nothing, really. I hope I read today, though. I haven't the past couple days and I refuse to totally lose my habit of it again. How many times have you been sick this year? None. What colour is your toothbrush? White. Do you have a favourite author? No. How long do you usually take in the shower? Barely even 10 minutes. I do nooot understand how some people take so long. Clean yourself, get out. Like I get it if you're shaving or doing "extra" stuff besides washing your hair and body, but generally, how???? Have you ever worked in an office? No, but as I prepare to job search again, that's what I'm aiming for, I guess. It sounds like something I (including my legs, given I'd be sitting) could possibly handle. But yeah, you need experience in absolutely everything nowadays to get any job, it seems. Have you ever stayed in a hotel without your parents or older relatives? Yes. Have you ever kissed anyone under the mistletoe? I actually don't think I have. What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored? Watch YouTube. Who was the last person you texted? The lady who works in my psychiatrist's office to verify my next appointment date. Do you see yourself married in the next five years? Probably not, really. How long does it take you to get ready to go out? Barely over five minutes, or less, depending on what I have to do. Do you own any clothes you wouldn’t wear in front of your mother? No. Have you changed much this year? I haven't changed at all. And that's not a good thing. Is there a girl that you truly hate? A corner of my mind says yes. Even though I have no right to. Do you have any candles in your room? No, but I do have a wax warmer. Have you ever had to dial 911 before? A couple times for Mom. What’s something in your past that you’ll always remember? I'm almost certain even dementia couldn't take away my memory of the breakup. Did you have a good birthday this year? Yeah, it was good. How many people have told you they were in love with you? Two. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I eat way too fast, but I literally can't figure out how to change it. I try to slow down, but it just... doesn't stick. It's so engrained in me as a habit. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? I was too young to remember this. What do you think of people who always wear make-up? You go for it, you look great. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Severely decaying roadkill is very high on the list. Is there a smell that gives you headaches? Gasoline. What about one that reminds you of the past? Play-Doh, for one. Childhood things like that. Also like those really fruity lip glosses, etc. What’s your least favorite thing about summer? The fucking heat and humidity. What’s your least favorite thing about the holiday season? The knowledge I don't have the money to buy like anyone presents. Especially my niece and nephew. Mom helps me buy something for them, but still... I feel like such a bad aunt that I can't do it myself. Other than yourself, who knows you the best? Whoever reads these, probably, ha ha. Do you have any embarrassing qualities and, if so, what are they? I'm just awkward in general. What’s one complaint that you have about school? Common Core. It's awful. What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? I would just go to the library and do stuff on my laptop. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? Yes. It's questionable that I myself may have high-functioning autism. Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah. Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Yes, because I'm bisexual. Have you ever dressed like or worn clothing belonging to the opposite sex? I would wear Jason's pj pants sometimes. Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? I've always believed I'm ugly. Have you read the Twilight series and do you like it or dislike it? I never read the series or watched the movies. Have you been on any type of online messengers today? I've used Discord to message Sara. What is your state’s minimum wage? $7.25 an hour. Disgusting. Do you own a tablet of any kind? No. If you eat eggs, how do you eat them? I only enjoy scrambled eggs or omelettes. When you’re upset, do you vent to people or do you keep to yourself? Nowadays, I tend to keep it to myself or vent through surveys. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No, but I would love to. Do you like Slim Jims? OH MY GOD YESSSSSSSSSS. I want one now. What’s your opinion on the color turquoise? I think it's very pretty. Have you ever been in a castle? Only the Disney World one. When you were little, did you ever play with Play-Doh? Of course! I loved doing that. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Hm... probably a love story. Are you afraid of getting shots? Kind of. I just hate the feeling of the medicine being injected, and long needles puncturing skin makes me want to squirm a bit. Needles in general though, I'm not afraid of. Would you ever run away and get married with no notifications to your family? Uh, no. I'm close with my immediate family and would want them to know. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so very boring, not to mention I would feel WAY too awkward. Who was the last person who unexpectedly texted you? No one unexpectedly texts me. Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? Some of it. Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up? Many times. Do thunder & storms scare you? Actually, since I started having recurring tornado nightmares, I started to sort of fear them again. What are two foods you think only taste good with whipped cream? I hate whipped cream. If you eat it, what is your favorite way to eat beef? Cheeseburgers. Are you insecure about your height? What made you think this way? No. Did your last significant other have a huge temper? No. Would you ever think about doing porn? NOOOOOOOOO, even if I was in good shape. Would you ever cheat on someone if they cheated on you? No. That's not going to fix anything. Do you like getting jewelry or do you not wear any? I don't mind it, but I don't really wear it. When you were in high school did you ever have bomb threats? Once or twice. He was a... troubled kid. Did/Do you get school cancellations because of snow? Oh yes. My area flips shit if there's even a risk of like an inch of snow. Who knows ALL of your secrets? Nobody. Do you eat dinner with your family every night? No. Have you ever thought about what it would be like to have a baby right now? No, not really. That would be fucking awful. There's no way I'd be able to raise it. Have you used Limewire before? Back in the day. Are you/Were you in a band? If so, what was your band name? No. Have you ever tried cocaine or heroin? No thanks. Do you own any shirts with a peace symbol on it? No. I'd wear one, though. Have you ever dyed your hair light auburn? No. Ever had ice cream dots? Dippin' Dots? Yes. Do you have your national flag hanging up anywhere outside your house? No. Would you ever go to Japan? I'd like to. Have you ever been in a choir? When I was a kid in Catholic school, yes. What did you eat for breakfast today? Honey Nut Cheerios. When is the next time you’ll be up on stage? Preferably never.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Evanescence: “Guitarists need to be honest. Use your voice. We don’t need fake – we need humanity and real people”

Jen Majura and Troy McLawhorn wax lyrical on the high-octane gear, influences and themes behind the band's upcoming fifth album, The Bitter Truth

The Bitter Truth, the fifth full-length from Evanescence set for release in March 2021, will be their first album of new material in a decade. The American arena group led by singer/keyboardist Amy Lee had already released three singles, though the record’s completion was stalled by the virus pandemic that dominated headlines for much of the year.

The first sessions took place at the beginning of 2020 with rock super producer Nick Raskulinecz [Foo Fighters, Rush, Alice In Chains] in his Nashville studio, spawning the tracks we’ve heard so far – Wasted On You, The Game Is Over and Use My Voice. Then, of course, came Covid, putting an end to safe travel and forcing virtually all plans to change.

For the members in America, it was incredibly problematic. For German guitarist Jen Majura, who joined in 2015, it was an absolute nightmare. Nevertheless, the group kept chiseling away and fleshing out their parts for album number five.

When Guitar World tracks down Majura and co-guitarist Troy McLawhorn towards the end of 2020, things are still very much in the process of being finalized...

Looking back now, that session in Nashville must feel like a very long time ago!

Majura: “Definitely! What hit me so hard was that we’d recorded that first chunk of songs and waved goodbye at the airport, thinking we’d be back in a couple of weeks. And then suddenly this pandemic hit, airports were all shut!

“I had never felt more apart from my friends in the States than since this all started. It’s so unnatural for me not to be there! I’m very old-school – I like my tube amp and 4x12 cabinet. I like to sit in the studio with the humans I’m working with and creating in the moment.

“Being away from Amy and the boys while working on material has felt so unnatural to me, but that’s the we have to do it and we have to make the best out of it. The time we spent with Nick in Nashville was the happiest ever.

“It felt amazing to see these songs coming to life – you have this idea but when you are all in a room creating, things change and become better, you end up trying out different ways. It’s such a vibrant and beautiful way of working. But I get it, there’s this thing called corona, so you know…”

This will be your first album working together on new material. How do you go about splitting guitar parts?

McLawhorn: “Whenever we’re jamming, if someone comes up with up something cool, they play it. There’s no set thing. So far I’ve probably played the majority of the lead guitar – if Jen comes up with something she is always welcome to play whatever it is. It’s a good working relationship. The first batch of songs, the first three that came out, were done in one session before the coronavirus hit. We were all together for those ones.

“But then Jen flew home back to Germany and we were supposed to tour in Europe, but it all got cancelled. Everything we’ve done since then has been without Jen with us, we’ve been kinda flying sessions back and forth. I probably played a lot of the guitar on the album, but she’s been coming up with cool ideas and putting her stamp on it too.”

The Game Is Over definitely feels like the heavier side of Evanescence…

McLawhorn: “There’s a lot of good stuff like that on this one, stuff that people will be surprised by maybe. There’s a fair amount of that aggressive type of music, but it’s a good mixture. So far everyone’s heard the lighter side of the album, like Use My Voice and Wasted On You… but then there’s The Game Is Over. It was a lot of fun to play and there’s more heavy stuff on there too!”

Majura: “That bridge is so heavy, I love it! It’s going back to the real rock roots and having lots of fun. When you have a low-tuned guitar you have to be a bit careful – you can’t just smash your strings but they will warp a bit.

“I remember forcing myself, especially during the bridge, to play gentle even though it had this badass attitude. It took me a couple of takes… the first ones were completely out of tune [laughs]!”

Jen, it must have been a rollercoaster five years for you. How did you end up getting the gig?

Majura: “What happened was that I was playing bass in another band, not really being happy as I’m a guitar player. We happened to play two festivals, one in Germany and one in the Czech Republic. And it turns out Testament were playing the same days as us.

“I’m a huge Alex Skolnick fan, so we ended up talking and keeping in touch. A couple of days later, I got this very mysterious email from him saying, ‘Jen! Some friends of mine are going to contact you and I can’t reveal too much but I think it’s something you should say yes to!’ I was wondering what the hell he was talking about…

“And then a day later, I got this email from Evanescence’s management asking if I would be interested in… and I didn’t even finish reading the email. I just immediately replied ‘Yes!’ and sent it. That was a total no-brainer.

“So this was around July 2015 and the next evening I was on the phone with Amy talking. She invited me to come visit her in New York and hang out. I thought, ‘Okay… cool!’ and three days later I was on a plane flying to fuckin’ New York wondering if this was really happening. It was insane.”

Did you bring your guitar?

Majura: “I didn’t! I asked her if I needed to bring one and she said, ‘Nah, I know you can play, I’ve seen plenty of videos – let’s just hang out!’ And that’s exactly what we did for the next three days. Hanging out, long walks and talks, going out for dinner or to a concert. Becoming friends and getting to know each other on a more human relationship kind of base.

“I realize now that’s the biggest deal when you have to replace a member. A band is a family. I’d like to quote Rob Zombie on that, because he said it in the movie Hired Gun!

“Finding a good player is the easy part – the world is full of virtuosos. You also need someone who can commit to touring, being on the road and that whole lifestyle. The third and last thing, also the toughest, is that you need people you can stand hanging out with 24/7.

“Concerts are only 90 minutes – what about all the other hours in the day? You need to all fit together. Within those first few days with Amy, I realized we both had a strong work ethic and know exactly what we want, which is beautiful.

“She’s a very strong character. I appreciate her musicality and personality too, she quickly became one of my best friends because we laughed about the same things and then figured out we both love Sex and the City [laugh]! I am so grateful and thankful to have experienced everything I have with her and the boys.”

Troy, you’ve been a member of Seether and filled in for Sevendust on some tours, but you’ve been an on/off member of Evanescence for over a decade now…

McLawhorn: “Yeah, to be honest, I never really left Evanescence. We have big breaks between albums. When I did my first tour with the band, Amy told me she was taking a long break, probably around four or five years. I just went out to find something to do in the meantime and ended up playing in Seether for a few years…

“When it was time for me to leave, it coincided with Amy being ready to do another album. And it was a huge coincidence. I ended up in New York and went to Amy’s house. I was having trouble in Seether and wasn’t happy there, and she said she’d love me to come work on the new album. That’s how it all went down.

“There seems to be some pretty long breaks in between albums with this band but I think that’s part of Amy’s creative process. She likes to take her time when she’s writing the lyrics. The final product always turns out really nice that way, so why mess with it?”

What can you tell us about the gear responsible for the guitar sounds on this album?

Majura: “I signed up with Synergy Amps in November last year. When I joined, I think Steve Vai was the only big name working with them, but I figured if it’s Steve Vai it’s gotta be fucking great. So I went over to check their amp out and I was very skeptical. It looks like a tube amp but with all these holes and parts missing!

“But I plugged in, hit one chord and realized it was actually phenomenal. They’ve sent all the different modules to me, like the Diezel, and the perfect solution for me was the Friedman HBE. It has the perfect rock and roll sound for my solos but it also has the mighty depth of high-gain stuff too – which are all frequencies you need for Evanescence.

“I was originally expecting I’d go with the Diezel one, but the Friedman felt more right for me. I’m very open-minded when it comes to technology. You have two modules, each with two channels, so you get a four-channel amp made out of your favorites.

“For example, I could combine a Vox AC30 Brian May sound with a Diezel VH4. It’s phenomenal what they’ve managed to open up for us musicians in terms of sound options. It’s been my tour rig and studio rig ever since.”

McLawhorn: “I used a combination of different things on this album. On The Game Is Over, it was basically my live setup which is an Orange Rockerverb 100, with an analog pedalboard.

“A big part of the tone I get from the amp comes down to a 10-band EQ I use to boost the mids on the lead channel. That’s about it – I don’t really use overdrive pedals or anything like that and probably use less gain than most modern guitarists. I almost use EQ to find a modern sound, instead of more gain.

“I also have a Fractal Axe-Fx III, which I’ve used here and there on the album, especially for clean parts – it’s really good for that. I’ve done some overdubs with the II as well, stuff that has a lot of effects or sounds really wet – Axe-Fx is great for that, too. I also have a 1969 Marshall Superbass 100 which we split with a Bogner Ecstasy or Uberschall, and used for the rhythm tracks on a couple of songs.”

And how about for guitars?

Majura: “I’ve been with Ibanez for many years now and I’m very happy. They deliver the most perfect instruments. You pick up an instrument and either like it or not. Some of them seem to instantly merge with your system – you become one – and that is true of most Ibanez guitars, at least for me.

“Of course I’ve played Les Pauls and other things, but they’re really not my style. I have so many Ibanez guitars now. I think the AZ series was such a smart move – the family is even bigger and better now… Look at players like Tim Henson, who is just amazing. He makes me feel so old. He’ll be nailing it and I’m at home just playing along to AC/DC or something!

“For pedals, I stick with the Line 6 Helix pedalboard because I remember at my first rehearsal in 2015, they would tell me certain parts would need a chorus or flanger or this or that. At the end of the rehearsal I had a battery of pedals in front of me and realized I couldn’t do it. I’ve never been a pedal dancer. I went to Line 6 asking for a solution and they were just about to come out with the Helix… it was perfect.”

McLawhorn: “I was using a baritone PRS SE. I changed the pickups out, but that’s it – I love the guitar and how it plays. I tried a few different sets, most by Seymour Duncan. One of my seven-strings has a Seymour that my tech put in on the road and I don’t know which one it is! He just found it in my guitar coffin and asked if we should throw it in. It stayed for the rest of the tour – it was probably a JB, who knows!

“But the one on the record is the Distortion (SH-6). I really like how they sound. At first, they were a little hot for what I like – I tend to prefer somewhere in between modern metal and classic rock. It felt like really high gain, way too much, especially when switching from my other guitars. But he really lowered the pickup down and that fixed everything, making everything super-tight and adding some nice mids.”

Use My Voice has a really powerful message behind it…

Majura: “Yes! Another thing that connects me and Amy very strongly is that we both went through moments in our careers where males would tell us, ‘You’re just a girl – what do you know?’ It’s time for strong women – in rock or wherever – to stand up and say being good at a craft has nothing to do with gender. It’s been happening for way too long.

“That feeling of our voices being suppressed needs to change, because every voice matters. We’re all the same. It does not matter if you are male or female or transgender… humans are humans. I think we should spend more time understanding why we’re the same. Use My Voice is an important message for women to stand up and be heard.”

Where do you think your influences differ as guitar players?

Majura: “The first guitar hero I had at around 10 or 11 was Steve Vai. He was so revolutionary in terms of what he’s done for the guitar world, both sound-wise and crafts-wise. Electric guitar wouldn’t be what it is today without Steve Vai.

“I respect him so much for how he feels and talks through his instrument. He’s influenced my thinking about a lot of things. He’s an amazing person, not just an amazing musician.

“Then I got into Nuno Bettencourt, who plays for the sake of the song instead of showing off. Which is what I tried to do on my first solo album, Inzenity, everyone expected a shred album and it wasn’t. I played for the song. If it didn’t require a guitar solo then fine, I’d just leave it. I didn’t need to prove to the world how good I was.

“Nuno also has the percussive style of playing, which brings this tone that I really like. And finally, Angus Young. I’ve been playing in an AC/DC tribute band for four years and I love his playing.”

McLawhorn: “A lot of them for me were the classic players while I was growing up. So Ace Frehley for sure… KISS were like Slipknot for us who grew up in the '70s [laughs]! Then there’s Jimmy Page and Jimi Hendrix. Tony Iommi as well, he was a massive influence on me as a kid.

“Eddie Van Halen was a huge influence on me, too – it was very sad that we lost him so early and so young. When Van Halen came out, I started taking guitar very seriously. The bluesy side of his playing always appealed to me but he also had all that technical prowess, too. A very inspiring guitar player for so many people.”

What advice can you offer anyone out there hoping to become a good session player?

McLawhorn: “You need to know how to communicate with people. I’ve done sessions with some Nashville guys that have this shorthand way of writing music. Reading music and knowing theory is always important… I wish I knew more myself.

“It puts you at ease walking into a session knowing you read and play anything back. I can’t really do that – I just really really listen and learn things by memory. I can read some music but that’s going back to trumpet at high school [laughs]. So I rely on communication always!”

Majura: “I think guitar players need to be honest. Use your voice. Be real. Be pure. We don’t need fake, we need humanity and real people. What I love about people like Mattias IA Eklundh is he’s just himself. He’s pure and innovative in a really interesting way.

“I’ve gotten to know guys like him, Guthrie Govan, Richie Kotzen and Jeff Waters – they’re all awesome and very honest players. I think one should never think one has seen it all and learned it all.

“We need to keep in mind we’re all on a journey in search of becoming better. In terms of advice, I always have to say being open to different styles is so important. There’s something to learn every day. You should never stop trying to improve to make the world a better place. You should never stop learning… that’s what makes you human.”

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 12

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Triggers:  smut; self-pleasuring.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you   so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I   think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag   you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8   penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming  alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​

Henry was coming back home after training in the gym. It's been a long day for him, shooting since morning, horse training, running and then muscle training, but he finally could rest. He had two days free from shooting, so he would use those days to relax. He was on his doorstep looking for the key when he noticed that Kal was acting strange. He began barking and moving around anxious. He tried to calm him down but failed. He opened the door and saw that the lights were on and there was noise coming from the kitchen. Kal ran to that part of the house with Henry screaming his name, scared that it may be a burglar and might try to hurt his bear. He went after him, and went he reached the room, he saw you petting the dog, who was more than excited to see you and moving his tail like crazy. You saw Henry and showed him a big smile. Gosh, there were no words to describe how much you missed him. He smiled back, still surprised by your presence. -H...hi! - he saluted you. - I didn't know that you were coming back. - Hi! Yeah, I didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you, I hope it doesn't bother you that I showed up without a notice.-you said slightly apologetic - Of course, it's ok. I'm so happy that you're here. I missed you a lot.-he replied coming closer to you, cupping your face with his hands and kissing you. You shared a long kiss before speaking again. - How did you get in? - he asked curiously - I remembered the code for the security alarm and then I enter from the window next to your computer. Don't worry, I didn't break anything, other than maybe a few laws - you joked and he laughed. - I might have to call the cops then.- he continued your joke. - Ok, you call them I tell them I've been a bad, bad girl... naughty, naughty girl - you said in a sexy tone and he laughed again and kissed you again. Your surprise included a homemade dinner. You prepared him some fresh pasta with tomato sauce and basil. And for dessert, you bought a cheesecake. While eating, you two talk about the shooting of the show and celebrated the fact that you got the role in the movie. The gave you the call the day that they told you they would and the same day they send Brian - your agent- your contract so he could check if everything was ok and two days later you signed the contract and then were free to go back to England because shooting would start in the second week of May. So you still had several weeks free before you had to go to Washington D.C. to shoot the film. After dinner, you went to the couch to be more comfortable and continue talking some more. - Have you seen what's on the pen drive that I gave you? Sorry, that Bond Girl gave to Mr Bond - you corrected yourself grinning. - Nope, I thought that it was empty. It didn't cross my mind that could have something in it.-he replied surprised. - I left something in there that I thought it might help you those days that I was in LA. Henry looked at you for a moment and then stood up and desapeared from the room; moments later, he was there again with his laptop on one hand and the pendrive on the other and you laughed amused. He sat next to you and put the pendrive and open the folder inside of it. He almost chocked when it saw its content. There were twenty-five pictures of you practically naked. They weren't normal selfies, those were artistic pictures taken by a proffesional photographer. One of those pictures was a close up of just your lips and the thumb of a man touching your button lip. Other was of your body from the neck down, with one arm covering your boobs and your other hand placed between your legs. There was another in which your entire naked body was visible, even your nipples, but throught a shadow. All of those pictures had one thing in common, it had been perfectly taken so if people saw them, they wouldn't knew it was you. But Henry did; he already could recognize your body easily. - Do you like them? - you asked him curiously - I'm speechless. - he replied, breathless. You smiled. - They were taken by my friend Beth. She's also a photographer. She had a presentation and the model failed her so I came to the rescue. She made sure no one would know it was me. - And in this photo - he said pointing at the first photo- whose thumb is it? - he questioned, he tried to made it sound like if it was just curiosity was he was clearly jealous. - That Scotty. He's the lead singer and bassist of her band. We're all great friends. He was there for that picture, the first picture we took, and I was fully clothed I must clarified, and then he left.- you explained and you saw him relax a little bit, but he still was jealous for sure.- We laughed a lot after that picture because he was eating cheetos before that and left my lip greasy.- you laughed shaking your head and rolling your eyes. - It's a shame that I didn't see them before, but in the same time I'm grad I watched now with you because that photo would have fucked me up. - The idea was for you to look at it and imagine that being your thumb and grabbing my lip like that. To help your imagination.- you smirked.- Ok, so you didn't see the pictures, so that means that you just jerked off to porn? -you asked laughing and he blushed - Oh, common! You're thirtysix! I know you watch porn and pleasure yourself. Remember the bottle of lube in your nightstand drawer? Don't need to be ashame or act embarrased with me, it's ok. - you assured him and he blushed even more- What's your favorite kind of porn? Threesome? Two girls together? Big titties? -you asked laughing -Oh, c'mon! Tell me! Cosplay? Cosplay! You like cosplay porn! - you said after noticing how tense he got when you mention the last option. You laughed and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and a hug- I apologize if I made you uncomfortable with my questioning. I just want you to know that it's ok, I'm not going to judge you for liking porn and that stuff. - It's ok.- he replied and kissed you passionately. He stopped, pressed his forehead againt yours. - Do you want to go to the bedroom now? - Oh. - you replied in a sign that you were about to deliver bad news.- I... I can't. - Why not? Did I do something wrong? - Henry asked worried. - No baby.- you assured him stroking his face and giving him a kiss- It's just... I'm on my period.-you admited and pouted - Imagine how frustrated I was when I was about to leave to see you and I found my favourite panties ruined with an awful red stain on them, just like my plans for our first night together.- Henry laughed, relieved that it was just that and kissed you again. - It's ok. We don't have to do anything. Let's just go and kiss and cuddle. - he offered as he caressed your face with the back of his hand. - Why not? Just because I can't do anything doesn't mean that you can't - you said winking. - You had a long day at work, you deserve some release.- You grabbed his hand and walk him to the bedroom. Once you made it into the room, you made him took his clothes off and lay on the bed. You took your shirt off, revealing a nice lavender colour demi bra that made your breast look fantastic.  You were sitting in the mattress, between his legs. - I hope this view helps you.- you said pointing at your boobs. - Oh, it does. A lot. - he replied grinning. - Well, grab the lube.- you ordered him - Ok.- he answered curiously as he did what you ask him to. -Here it it.- he said handing you the bottle. -Oh, no, I don't need it. It's not for me. - you replied smirking devilish. - But you asked for it.- he told you, not understanding what was going on. - The lube it's not for me, it's for you. I want you to pleasure yourself as I watch.- you explain with the same expression as you put both of your hands on the bed in a relaxing manner. - What? That's not sexy! - he objected with a facial expression that showing that he thought that that thought was insane. - I'll be the one to judge that and I think that I'd be extremely sexy! If I pleasure myself in front of you, would you think that it not sexy? - That's be extremely sexy, but it's different. - Why? - Because you're a goddess. - Yes, like you're not some kind of greek good or even hotter. - you said rolling your eyes and then smiled at him. - Common baby, it's ok. It's only me and you here. - Ok. - he sighed. - But, I don't even know how to do it. - You don't know how to masturbate, really? - you replied raising one eyebrown in disbelief. - I know how to do it. It's just. I don't have porn. My mind is blank at the moment, I cannot concentrate to do it.- he explained. You sighed and order him to put lube on his hand. - I'm going to help you. Take one good peak at the girls and then close your eyes. - he starred at your breast for a minute with a big smile on his face and then closed his eyes- Imagine me lying on the bed. I'm wearing nothing but this bra and a matching thong. I began to slide my hand slowly throughout my entire body, stroking my soft skin in the process. I put my hand inside my panties and start to rub my clit.- Henry already had reached his member and began to stroke it slowly.- With my free hand, I start playing with my boobs, grabbing them underneath the bra and pressing my hard nipples, as I faster the pace with my other hand. - henry imitated your narrative and stroked himself faster and faster, moaning loud as he started to reach climax.- I start to get out of breath as I realized that I'm about to reach the orgasm- you said almost moaning- and then I stop. - What happened? - said Henry opening his eyes, I little frustraeted. - Close your eyes, I've not finished yet.- you ordered him. - I stop and the I open my eyes and see you standing at the door, watching me. You're smiling. You're enjoying it. I invite you to join me with a sing of my hand and you come. I take you shirt of and you lay on the bed. I kissed your chest and stroke it. Use your other hand to stroke your chest as your touch yourself, imagine that it's me - you urged him pausing the story. - I won't feel the same as your soft hand.- he replied. - It doesn't matter, it'd feel good, just do it.- you commanded him again and then continue your narrative- I toss off your pants and briefs and grab your cock and start to licking it slowly up and down, sucking and tasting the tip like a lollipop. You go crazy when I go down on you, you love how I take my time to let you know how much I enjoy having that marvellous part of you inside my mouth. - you noticed by his heavy breathing and the loud moans that he was about to finish, so you rush to the grand finale you'd thought-. Now, I take your tasty peace out of my mouth and I place it between my boobs. You start to fuck them, first slow and then faster...faster...faster...-you imitated the rhythm of his stroking, almost moaning with every word, until he finally realesed, moaning so loud that made Kal start barking. You both laughed. He screamed to the bear that everything was ok and after a few minutes, the puppy went back to sleep. After going for a short shower, Henry came back to the room. You already changed into something more comfortable for sleeping and he put on and old t-shirt and briefs and got into bed with you. You kissed for a little while and then you place your head on his chest. He hugged you and you fell asleep.

[rosesvioletshardy]

life as we know it - b.h. chapter 10

we’re finally onto double digits! i thought this story would be done by this chapter but i was wrong with how i’m making i guess slow burn go. just to warn you i do have summer classes at the moment until the 19th of july so if any chapters get delayed it’s because of that or personal reasons.

i think y’all are going to enjoy this chapter because i liked writing it a lot even though at one point i did have writer’s block

i also had to take some things out which annoyed me but i think it’ll fit better in other chapters

please be nice and leave a reblog or any comments :)

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges with it.

# of words: 3,836

warnings: none?, some language

taglist: @myfatbottomedgirls , @evemarie05 , @suckerfor-fanfics

inbox or message me if you’d like to be added to the taglist for the series

----

(her outfit for dinner later in the chapter)

when y/n woke up, she realized what day it was and immediately felt sick to her stomach. it was the day she had to break up with sean. the only problem she had was that she didn’t know where her feelings stood with ben and if he had felt the same towards her. needing to distract herself for the day before the evening, she decided to spend the morning with charlie and ben and only focus on them without anything else on her mind. she got out of bed and walked into the bathroom and fixed up her appearance a bit because hair sticking up everywhere was not the look she was going for. 

while getting ready she got a ding from her phone signaling she got a text. standing in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes before plucking up the courage to go check her phone. taking the phone off the charger, she flipped it over and opened her phone. Pressing on his contact name, she read the message

i can’t wait for tonight, i think we’re both going to be surprised tonight ;)

she knew what he was talking about. he was going to propose. the only thing she couldn’t figure out was whether she should do it before to get it over with, or after. if she did it after, she would have all eyes on her from the people around them and she thought that she would be selfish about what she’s giving up. a man with a stable job, good money, nice family (even if she hasn’t met them), to someone who is going to be away almost all the time. she took a deep breath and let it go before sending him a message back.

i can’t wait for tonight either, happy birthday my love <3

the thought of calling him “her love” made her sick to her stomach knowing that it wasn’t true anymore and hasn’t been true for a long time anymore. throwing her phone on the bed, she left the room to go wake charlie up. when she entered her room, y/n saw her already awake and standing ready for the day.

“good morning baby, how are you? let’s go wake up uncle ben. it’ll be good this time and funny because he came home a little drunk last night and i thought we could mess with him with frankie.” she told her getting her ready.

as they went carefully down the stairs, y/n grabbed the peanut butter and a spoon before walking over to the couch where ben was passed out. setting charlie on the ground, she opened the peanut butter and grabbed a little with the spoon and carefully put it on just the tip of his nose. quickly flinching away as soon as he started to sniffle, y/n put a little bit more before closing the jar and putting it away on the table. taking his phone, she started to record and called frankie over to where she was

“Come here frank, come her girl” she whispered while waving her hand over

“c’mon, what is this?” she finished while pointing to the peanut butter

frankie took a moment to sniff out what she was talking about before she started to lick ben’s face. ben began to wiggle his nose after feeling something and then started to moan. she tried her best to not to burst out laughing 

“y/n? haven’t seen you be this wild since new years.” ben said as his eyes fluttered open only to see his dog licking all over his face causing him to yell

“WHAT THE FUCK Y/N?!” he yelled trying to wipe off his face as she fell over laughing her ass off as well as charlie

“i’m-i’m sorry. i had too” she laughed out

ben groaned as he tried to wipe away any excess peanut butter and slobber. y/n and charlie continued to laugh while he tried to wake up and ignore his hangover. he fell back onto the couch holding his head regretting his choices of getting drunk with joe, gwilym, and rami but he had fun hanging out with them. she got up after pulling herself together and smoothed down her outfit before talking

“okay, okay. i’m sorry. i really am, i’ll go get you some ibuprofen and make some breakfast as a sorry.” she told him crouching down and pushing some of his hair out of his face

“can you make some coffee and those cinnamon rolls from your bakery?” he asked muffled

“yeah i will, did you have too much last night?” 

“yeah. i am never going to drink again.” 

“we all say that but it never happens”

“shhh. let me dream. when are they going to make something that’ll get you drunk but you just don’t wake up with a hangover the next day. charlie, learn from us. do not drink no matter how good it is sometimes.” ben said as y/n left to go to the kitchen to get ben his medication

“don’t corrupt her just yet. she probably won’t even listen. i mean, didn't you party as a teenager? did things your parents didn’t want you ever doing?” she asked him

“maybe who knows?” he shrugged swallowing the pills and picking up charlie to sit her down in her high chair

“what about you? i know you’re not innocent, i mean new years proved it and the couple days before too.” he smirked and winked at her

y/n’s face flushed pink as she got out the ingredients for the cinnamon rolls. she knew exactly what he was talking about and he wasn’t lying. she may seem like she’s all bubbly and innocent but she wasn’t exactly as innocent as everyone thought.

“i may have done a few things in college. you don’t need to know the details.” 

“hmm right. i’m going to go for a run. what time are you going to be leaving tonight?” he asked her drinking the rest of his water before going to change

“he’s coming around 5:30-”

when ben heard her say that sean was going to pick her up he started to choke on his water as she stopped kneading the dough

“oh my god! are you okay?” she said as she began to pat his back

“yeah, ‘m fine. ‘m fine. just shocked. did you say he was coming here? like here here?” 

“yes i tried to tell him we’ll just meet each other but i couldn’t. sorry.” 

“‘t’s fine, we’ll just have to hide charlie and teach frankie some tactics to scare him and maybe attack him who knows?” ben said shrugging looking away

y/n gave him a look a disappointment and an exasperated sigh

“alright ‘m sorry. i’ll just leave then. be all by myself on my run” he sighed out

“you’re being dramatic”

“‘m an actor darling, ‘m supposed to be dramatic” he flipping the non existent long hair

“damn i wish i had my roger wig. at least i can flip my hair with it.” he finished

“uh huh. go on your run rock star.”

“c’mon frank, let’s go. y/n is being rude to the both of us.” he told her crouching down and scratching her ears

“bye baby girl. we’re going to have a fun night tonight. you’re auntie y/n is being rude and we get to do whatever we want tonight” he whispered to charlie while giving a kiss on her head

“ben”

“fine. geez. who pissed in your coffee this morning. i’m kidding, don’t kill me” he said running while laughing

as ben left the house, he started to stretch for his run to avoid any muscle strains. while he was stretching, rachel went to go her mail, she saw ben as he started to do some side lunges

“oh limbering up, there it is. oh like a rubber band” she whispered to herself

ben thought he felt someone staring at him so he turned around causing rachel to sort through her mail and pretend nothing was happening until she looked up

“oh good morning ben. how are you today?”

“good, you?” 

this caused rachel to giggle and start waving her hand dramatically as she nervously continued to laugh

“oh i’m good”

ben laughed to himself as he and frankie began their run for the morning, greeting their neighbors as they saw tom watering the plants out in the front

“hey big man” “hey tom”

“you catch the game last night?” “what game?” ben asked in confusion as the only thing he remembers from the night before was him and joe dancing while drunk. tom casually laughed it off as he continued on the run

everything was going nice, and quiet until another one of the neighbors, amber, came around and started to run with ben

“oh hello, i didn’t know you were a runner. we should train to together”

“well, i like to use this time to think and spend time with frankie when i’m home since y/n usually takes her on walks now when i film.”

“that’s nice. yeah, i like to use the time to think as well. it’s good for the body and mind. is this the pace we’re going to keep up?” she asked as ben continued to run a little faster 

it’s not like he didn’t dislike the neighbors, it’s just sometimes he’d like to be alone on his runs due to not having that much time on his hands to do it everyday and all the time.

 he continued his run for another hour before finding a place for him and frankie to relax and for her to drink some water he had for them. he took a moment to take in the nice weather they were having that morning and just laid on the ground and looked up at the sky. ben began to overthink about the current situation and wondered if it was just him getting to his emotions and needing validation and comfort from someone. shaking his thoughts away, ben got up and whistled for frankie to signal that they were leaving. on his way home, he drowned out his thoughts using his music so he didn’t think about everything when he met up with her again. 

Stepping into the house, ben was met with the smell of cinnamon rolls as y/n prepped the table for them to eat breakfast. he took off frankie’s leash so she could get some more water and ran up the stairs to go shower and change seeing that he was drenched in sweat. she heard the door slam and went to go to see who it was thinking it was an intruder before seeing ben’s shoes by the door and went back to the kitchen. she didn’t have anything to do before sean’s dinner later in the night seeing that tyler forced her to that day off after working more than she should’ve and she’s exhausting herself, especially because she wanted to expand her bakery into a full restaurant but hasn’t had the time to go over all the paperwork and details.

she began to feed charlie when she heard ben coming down the stairs

“can i just say, as much as i hated you, i don’t hate these cinnamon rolls.” ben told her smelling the air

“thanks, as much as i hated you, you’re not so bad to look at.” “speaking of looks, what are you going to wear tonight?”

“haven’t decided yet. maybe the dress i wore on new years. he seemed to like that dress.”

“so did i” ben mumbled under his breath before drinking his coffee

“what did you say?” she asked whipping her head to him

“what? i didn’t say anything” he told her

“okay.”

the three finished their breakfast in silence before they spent a couple of hours with charlie. ben played the drums for her, as well as singing, trying to introduce her to new music and expand genres and help with the development of learning new sounds and words. y/n went back into the kitchen when she realized that she hadn't made anything for ben and charlie to eat for dinner later in the night while she was gone. ben noticed and told her not to worry and told her that he’ll just order out. he didn’t want her to work anymore and just relax before she had to get ready.

hours later, y/n was in the bedroom putting the finishing touches on her makeup when the doorbell rang.

“i got it, don't worry!” ben yelled as went to the door

opening the door he shouldn’t have been surprised when he saw sean. sean stood there with a smug grin on his face as ben opened the door

“hello ben”

“Sean”

“can i come in?” 

ben welcomed him in with an annoyed look on his face as they walked into the living room. sean was about to go near charlie when ben stopped him and picked her up himself and frankie growled at sean

“don’t touch her”

“Alright ben. i know you don’t like me, and i don’t like you. but after tonight. she is going to be mine and things are going to change. what happened between the two of you, it’s never going to happen. you were simply just a one night stand and just because you two are co-parenting now, it still doesn’t mean anything is going to happen.” “i’m sure things are going to change after tonight. she is one of the most thoughtful and caring people i know and even though she was annoying when we first met, doesn’t mean i don’t care about her feelings. unlike some people.”

“just because you’re rich and famous, doesn’t mean shit. my family is 10 times more richer than you and you can get all the lawyers you want, and still are going to lose everything as soon as she moves in with me, she’ll take little charlie with her since you’re traveling all the time”

“i can take jobs here. it doesn’t matter, maybe i’ll take charlie with me and show her the world. i mean it’ll be good for her while she grows up.”

sean was about to hit back with another argument about y/n and charlie but he got cut off by footsteps coming down the stairs. ben and sean both stood up as they saw her step down the last step. they were both in awe when they saw the woman they were both in love with. 

“Wow” ben said speechless

“you look beautiful” sean told her

“thanks, are you ready?” she asked

“Yeah, i was just having a lovely conversation with ben and admiring how cute charlie is” sean told her as he hooked their arms

“bye ben. i’m not sure when i’ll come home but i’ll tell you okay? bye charlie, be good for your uncle” she told her kissing her head

sean and y/n left the house, and ben locked the door, turning charlie around and began to wonder what they could do for a few hours even though she was supposed to go to sleep in those few hours. 

“well it’s just you and me now. what should we do?” 

charlie reached her hands out for ben’s hair seeing that it was getting long enough for her to pull and he just dealt with it and walked over to the couch and sat her down to watch some tv

“you know this isn’t too bad. just me and you, some food, frankie, and tv. i’m losing my mind oh god” 

y/n on the other hand was in the car with sean on the way to the La Dame de Pic. how she managed to get a reservation there she didn’t understand. she was more than nervous for what was going to happen. she started to drift off into her thoughts and tried to calm down. sean took one of his hands off the wheel and grabbed her right hand. he looked over to her and smiled as they pulled up to the front of the restaurant. sean was determined to be the “gentleman” he thought he was and opened the door for her as she got out. they walked into the restaurant and her nerves increased more.

“hi we have a reservation, under l/n for two?” sean told the lady at the desk

“Yes, please follow me”

the couple followed the lady to the table and sat down. they started the night off with some wine and began to look through the menu. every now and then she would look up and look at sean and think to herself about when she was going to do it. There were too many people near her and felt the panic set in. she was too in deep with her thoughts realize that they were ready to order

“y/n, dear?”

“yes? sorry.” 

“do you know what you want?”

“yeah, um i’ll have the Brittany Pigeon”

“and i’ll have the Steak tartar. thank you.” sean said as they handed back the menus to the waiter

“have i told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

y/n couldn’t help but blush at the comment, but who wouldn’t when they received a comment about how they looked especially if they spent a good amount of time getting ready 

“thank you. how are you enjoying your birthday so far? 30’s a big number” she asked him after taking a sip of her wine

“i have to admit it does feel weird but with you it nothing feels weird and i’m sure something will make it even better.” he smirked

she felt at ease when the food arrived because it meant they didn’t have to talk that much. every now and then they would look up to each other and smile. it was quiet in the restaurant except for the soft music that was playing in the corner. sean would reach into his pocket a few times to make sure that the ring was still there and go over the speech in his head. he decided he would do it while they were done with dinner but before dinner. y/n noticed his behavior and every time he stopped eating to check inside his pockets, she knew he was going to propose and she had to do it quickly and leave as soon as she could. 

“if you could excuse me, i need to go to the restroom.” she told him as she got up and took her purse with him

“no problem, just be back quick” he smiled at her

y/n dashed towards the bathroom and went straight to the sinks and stood in front of the mirror

“you got this y/n. it’s all you wanted since he started to treat you the way he did. just say what you always wanted to tell him and get the hell out of here. this is all that you’ve wanted, nothing more.” she said to herself while fixing her makeup and hair

walking out, sean came into her view as a new bottle of wine was replacing the old one. she noticed it was an even more expensive brand as she sat down. sean took a deep breath and slid out of his chair and went next to her and crouched down while taking her hands. everyone quickly turned to their direction and began to stare at them

“y/n, this past year has been one of the best years of my life. ever since the day we met at christian and lennon’s wedding, i never thought i would be here proposing to you. you are one of the most beautiful people i have ever met. you are also one of the smartest. you run a business while also being a well i guess a single mother and i’ve never seen someone so strong. so, y/n l/n, will you marry me?” sean asked as he took out the ring 

she had to admit the ring was pretty but she knew she had to say no. she felt everyone’s stares on her as they waited to hear her answer

“sean, you have made my life, but no. i’m sorry”

“no? what do you mean “no”?” 

“i mean, things have changed since we met. i know everything. i know you’re cheating on me with someone else. i know you only want to marry me because you’ll get my bakery and it’ll make you richer. Over the past few months, i’ve been questioning our relationship. you are possibly the worst person i have either dated or hooked up with.” 

at this point everyone stopped what they were doing and focused on the pair

“i should’ve known you weren’t meant for me when you never bothered to call back and i didn’t know what we were for months. i’ve been in love with the wrong person this entire time and i still don’t know what my heart wants. i did mean to sleep with ben on new years. i just dated you because i didn’t think i would be in this situation right now and try to focus on myself. you were too controlling and i couldn’t stand it anymore. i just can’t. and by the way, every single time we had sex, i always faked it and thought of ben because i know he could do so much better and he lasts longer too instead of ejaculating prematurely.” she finished

sean didn’t know what to say  as he stayed on one knee while everyone stared at them. 

“i told you it’s a medical problem.” he whispered to her

“well then honey, you better get it checked out because i’m sure no girl would want someone who doesn't know how to pleasure a woman beforehand.” she breathed out feeling satisfied with herself

“and you know what else? you can go fuck yourself and fuck your family.”

grabbing her clutch, she opened it and grabbed her phone to call an uber. she felt like she was walking on cloud 9 when it all happened. y/n got into her uber and let out a deep sigh as she started to laugh and cry at the same time while her driver just ignored her and didn’t bother to ask her questions.

entering the house as quietly as she could, she took her shoes off and walked into the living room to find ben passed out with an empty beer bottle in his hand and the tv still on. she took the bottle out of his hand and turned off the tv. as soon as the bottle left ben’s hand, he fell onto the couch and continued to sleep. y/n took a few minutes to take in the way ben slept. his hair was already messy, most likely from charlie pulling on it, his mouth partly open, and his soft snores. She left to go to bed and felt like this night would be the first night in a long time where she wouldn’t feel stressed.