#i can’t do math

[clowninthecoffeehouse]

the saga continues

[legally-allowed-to-slime]

should grian have jumped? session 5 post

so.

grian, on 1 heart as a green, failed his task in the last thirty seconds of the session by not jumping over the campfire.

not realising this, waffle man pressed success and so will have to reroll for hard next session.

let’s consider the four options grian had here:

nailing the jump and pressing success

failing the jump (dying) and pressing success

not jumping and pressing success, thus having to reroll (what happened)

not jumping and pressing fail

now, i’m going to make the math easier for me, such that x hearts (on yellow) is equivalent to x minus 30 hearts (on green).

thus, we change the number of hearts grian would’ve gotten by the end of next session (depending on whether he completed his task) in each option such that all are green:

21 hearts OR 1 heart

20 hearts OR 10 hearts

31 hearts OR 0 hearts

11 hearts OR 1 heart

by source: trust me bro, option 1 and 4 are obviously unadvisable.

so, it’s between 2 and 3. and it’s tricky to decide, because 2 is the “cautious�� option, while 3 is the “risky” one.

whether 2 or 3 is the better option, one thing remains clear: it turns out better for him to do the contrary thing, instead of following his task or failing properly.

in fact, grian’s best two options were to intentionally fail the jump, to end up as a robust yellow or to press the wrong button, and be a full health green or yellow.

the conclusion is break the rules.

[hopelessromanfic]

we already know wills gonna have a happy ending, we know this, so let’s do some math

mike dies = sad will

joyce dies = sad will

el dies = sad will

jonathan dies = sad will

lucas, max, or dustin die = sad will

my conclusion is that steve is gonna die basically (sorry bud)

[anxiousanemone]

Richard Papens fatal flaw is a morbid longing for the picturesque at all cost and mine is sampling distributions in AP Statistics

[robinsunrest]

Muttering to myself, “you are not stupid you are just struggling, you are not stupid you are just struggling, you are not stupid you are just struggling”

[myfriendtheghost]

goodnight sweet baby :( <3

[theaologies]

I’m pretty sure I’m entitled to 1,125 of these little dudes actually @staff

[meeks-beas]

I found an old journal of mine. And same little me. I still can’t do my math

[prozac-shaped-urn]

*Me at the start of therapy thinking it’s gonna be a chill convo*: I have new artwork! It’s from an artist who does fanart for my favorite show. *turns my laptop to show this*

Therapist: Oh cool! The blond looks like Jean Smart.

Me: That’s because she is Jean Smart 😂

Therapist: Who’s the young lady making sweet love to her??

Me: Her name is Hannah Einbinder. She’s—

Therapist: OH FROM HACKS!!!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: I love that show! It’s so beautifully done and funny as fuck.

Me: I’m the Walmart Deborah Vance so it definitely speaks to me.

Therapist: So what did you think of the last episode of Hacks?

Me: Full on tears. Supertramp is forever ruined. Like I heard Goodbye Stranger while in line at Wendy’s and started crying.

Therapist: *worried in a fangirl way only another fangirl would recognize* They are coming back right??

Me: *internally goes found-in-the-woods-with-a-stick-in-my-mouth-and-covered-in-kudzu feral* Uhm… Y-yes. The WGA is on strike right now but yeah they’ll be back.

Guys………. YALL

I struck pay-dirt with this woman.

ETA: I feel like I need to explicitly state the reference to Jean Smart is her AS DEBORAH VANCE. My therapist just said the artwork looked like Jean Smart, and I confirmed she was and then explained Hannah’s connection and my therapist understood the artwork is them AS THE CHARACTERS. We’re not delusional. We live in reality. This isn’t a Robert Bardo/Rebecca Schaeffer situation. WE GOOD.

[iylamarbrand]

I hate taxes and they fact that my tax service can randomly stop doing my taxes for me 🙃🤬🙄

[tired-bee]

God, I fuckin hate math.

[mushed-kid]

im so fucking sick of school architecture SUCKS

[birdstooth]

Noooo I forgot to switch to a private window so now I have “7 + 4” in my Google search history exposed for everyone to see 😭😭😭

[morganbritton132]

Eddie filming a tiktok before one of the soccer meets (maybe like day long blitz tournament) in a cheerleader outfit. Phone set up before he came downstairs, catching Steve scrolling on his phone, filling his water, checking the time and reminding Eddie they had to leave. And Eddie’s like, pretending it’s normal while Steve is just blinking at him.

He threatened to do it, and they all assumed he had forgotten but no, Eddie’s middle names are ‘committed to the bit’ (family name)

I think it’s infinitely funnier if Steve doesn’t notice that he’s wearing a cheerleading uniform for like, a while.

Eddie sets the camera up in the kitchen since Steve spends the majority of his time before a game in there pacing, and then he just stands there in the middle of the room. And waits. And Steve does not notice. It’s like:

Eddie: *standing in the middle of the kitchen in a red and gold cheerleading uniform*

Steve: *walks pass to double check the schedule on the fridge to make sure he has the time right*

Steve: *walks pass while putting on his jersey*

Steve: *walks pass to fill their cooler with drinks and sandwiches*

Steve: *walks pass to refill his water bottle*

Steve: *walks pass to triple check the schedule*

Steve: *walks pass looking at his phone*

Steve: *walks pass while texting Robin*

Steve: *walks pass to look at the schedule again*

Steve: *walks pass while reminding Eddie that they need to leave in fifteen minutes*

Steve: *stops right next to Eddie to read an article about Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner*

Eddie: Babe, do these shoes match my outfit?

Steve, looking away from his phone and directly at Eddie’s shoes: If you’re going to have your legs out then you need to put sunscreen on them because you… *finally notices*

Steve:

Steve:

Steve:

Eddie: 2,4,6,8 who do you appreciate?

Steve: …This outfit

[predoom]

joint custody of 🧢

[kai-nyktos]

what if bill is jealous of the pine family because they remind him that he doesn’t get to have a happy family because he burned them all. and ford having almost gone down the same path as him (unappreciatedly smart, weird, outcasted, and then gaining access to greater knowledge and almost destroying the world) but stops and saves his family even after all the shit that’s happened (this is the one timeline where both dipper and mabel survive, after all). he gets to be happy. they all get to be happy, together.

he must hate them as much as he hates himself, doesn’t he?